#i was on my phone during intermission going what happened?

[aflawedfashion]

while I had a great evening, I'm sad to have missed the epic highs and lows of men's figure skating

#it sounds absolutely chaotic #i was on my phone during intermission going what happened? #what do you mean he went from 19th in the short to on the podium in the end while taking a two point deduction for a backflip #i left after the backflip #i missed everything else #but happy to see jason hang on to top five with zero quads #sad and surprised shoma fell to fourth when his short was so good #figure skating

[luvangelbreak]

Deprived | Seven

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 matthew sturniolo x layla venita (female!oc) summary: everyone knows the story of the bad boy and the good girl but what happens when the school's most popular boy, Matthew Sturniolo, and the girl who notoriously is never there, Layla Venita, cross paths. warnings: swearing, drug use (weed), mentions of alcohol word count: 2.9k a/n: another matt pov bc i felt like it was fitting. lmk what pov you like more and thank u for all the support <3

pov: matt

As we drove to Downs, I kept stealing glances at Layla as she chewed on her tacos. She only asked for tacos but I of course got it for her in a meal with fries as well. Allie was singing along to the songs in the backseat and I glanced in the rearview mirror to see her dancing happily as she ate her fries. I bit my lip, trying to focus on the road instead of the girl beside me.

My mind drifted to when she placed a kiss on my cheek not only during the intermission of the game but also when I was standing outside with her. I didn't expect her to actually do anything, I just wanted to tease her but I wasn't mad that she did. I was cheesing like a 13-year-old boy inside and it drove me insane.

I'd know her for all of a week and I felt like she was consuming all of my thoughts. Every day she didn't come to school, the more I thought about skipping and driving to her house. I didn't want to seem obsessed, that's not something you do when you talk to someone for the first time only a few days prior and I knew that.

I tapped my hand on the wheel along to the beat of the song, looking over at Layla again but this time she made eye contact with me, a mouth full of fries as she sarcastically said, "Take a picture it'll last longer."

"Okay," I responded casually as we happened to pull up to the last set of lights that were red. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and took a photo of her and she frowned, swallowing the fries.

"Delete that," she deadpanned and I shook my head, locking my phone as the light turned green. We drove down the street and pulled into the parking lot, seeing Nate and Chris were already here eating McDonald's in the car.

"I'm gonna go steal Nate's fries. Be right back!" Allie jumped out of the back seat before I had even put the car in park making me laugh at her as she scurried around the car and jumped into the back of Nate's. I turned the car off, taking my seat belt off and winding down my window so the cold air hit my face

"Matthew," I heard Layla's serious tone and I turned my head to look at her again, "I'm holding your food hostage until you delete that photo."

She picked the bag up off of the floor between her feet, holding it tightly in her arms so I couldn't get my food. I heard Allie and Nate bickering from the car beside us but I didn't bother looking over.

"Why? You said to take a picture," I leaned over, trying to grab the bag but she pulled it closer to her body, leaning away from me slightly.

"I look disgusting," she frowned and I tilted my head at her.

"You didn't even see the photo," I state the obvious as I went to reach for the bag again.

"I don't need to see it. I had a mouth full of fries so of course I look bad," she seemed dead serious but I smiled at her nonetheless.

"You don't look bad," I told her, shaking my head and she huffed, "You look good all the time."

"Well, clearly you haven't seen me when I have just woken up," she rolled her eyes dramatically before throwing the bag in my lap. I let out a grunt when the heavy bag hit my crotch and she pursed her lips, "Oops."

"'Oops' my ass," I joked and she shrugged with a smile, taking another fry into her mouth. I let my eyes linger on her lips for a moment more before I grabbed my food out of the bag. I heard a phone vibrate and I knew it wasn't mine since it was underneath my thigh. As I dug into my phone, I noticed Layla pull her phone out of her pocket and her eyebrows furrowed as she stared at the small screen, "Everything okay?"

"Uh..." she trailed off, nodding hesitantly before she locked her phone, "Yeah everything's fine."

"You sure?" I double-checked, now mouth half full of food like she had done moments ago. Instead of responding, she quickly swiped on her phone and I heard the camera click on her phone. I furrowed my eyebrows as she smiled at me, making it hard to stay annoyed at her.

"Now we're even," she shrugged, the smile not leaving her lips as I shook my head. The rest of my teammate's cars pulled into the parking lot, all having their own variants of food and drinks. I was sure Dan was going to bring beer or weed and not to any surprise, he appeared out of the car with both.

"You think it's laced?" Layla spoke up and I looked over to see her staring at the bag of joints Dan was throwing around with not a care in the world.

"Nah Dan's super picky about what he smokes. Went on a whole tangent to me about strains and what they all do. Didn't listen to a word of it though," I told her honestly as she nodded, pursing her lips before she looked over at me.

"You mind if I have some?" she asked and I shrugged, scoffing down the last of my food before taking a sip of my drink, "Slow down there pretty boy. You're gonna choke on that if you're not careful."

"I always eat fast after a game," I admitted and she smiled, shaking her head like she was scolding a child, "You can smoke. Just don't get so high that you can't function."

She sent me a smile before nodding and jumping out of the car. My eyes followed her every move as she walked over to Dan and I saw both of their mouths moving. Moments later, Dan handed her a joint and she used her own lighter to light the end of it.

"You look like a goddamn dog drooling at her like that," I jumped in my seat and turned my head to see Nate standing outside the window of my door.

"Shut up," I rolled my eyes, taking a sip of my drink as I slid further down into my seat, my eyes always finding their way back to her, "I'm just making sure Dan won't try anything.

"Why do you care if he does?" he asked, a knowing smirk on his face as he leaned his elbows onto the windowsill.

"He's a dick," I mumbled and Nate hummed in response before he chuckled.

"Okay, enough. You look like Joe Goldberg just staring at her from the car," Nate pulled the door open and I turned my head to see him standing there, waiting for me to get out. I rolled my eyes, grabbing my phone, keys and drink from the car before hopping out and closing the door behind me.

"I'm not a stalker, dude," I grumbled and he chuckled as we began walking towards where everyone was now huddled around Ethan's car.

"You fucking look like one," he jokingly said quietly before we were a part of the group. As soon as we walked over, Layla moved her position between Dan and Ryder to stand between Chris and I. I resisted the urge to look down at her but as everyone talked amongst themselves, I felt her weight shift on her feet so she was leaning towards me.

I swung my arm around her shoulders causing her to lean into me fully. I could tell she was still tense as she continued smoking the joint, making sure to blow the smoke to the ground so as to not let anyone else breathe it in. I wish I could say the same for Dan who was basically directly blowing the smoke in my face.

"Dan," I said sharply catching the attention of his slowly redening eyes, "Quit it."

"What?" he asked, still blowing the smoke in my direction.

"You're blowing it right in my face and I'm like 5 feet away from you," I frowned at him as I felt Layla relax into me further, her tense nature depleting the more she smoked. Dan rolled his eyes before blowing the smoke behind him and I thanked him in my head, not bothering to verbalise it.

I felt her head shift against my shoulder and I looked down at her to see she was already looking up at me, her eyes slightly red and pupils every so faintly dilated.

"You okay?" she asked almost inaudibly and I nodded, smiling down at her before she returned the nod, resuming her head to a straight position to look at every one. She turned her attention to Dan before asking, "Dude, where did you get this from?"

"Some guy named Ray. He's down at South End," Dan explained and I felt Layla tense against me again, "Poor excuse of a house but the shit is good so I go anyway."

Layla just nodded, finishing the rest of the joint before she threw it onto the ground.

"Damn, didn't even think about sharing?" Ethan asked, a playful smile on his lips as he looked at Layla. Dan handed his joint to Ethan before Layla spoke.

"Wouldn't do its job if I let someone else smoke it," Layla shrugged, now placing her hands in the pocket of her hoodie. Ethan raised his eyebrows, clearly impressed as he took a hit of the joint before he looked at me.

"You gonna let loose yet, boss?" he asked, holding the joint out for me and I shook my head, my thumb mindlessly tracing circles over Layla's arm as she relaxed again.

"I'm driving and you know I don't do that shit," I told him and he shrugged.

He took another hit before saying, "More for me."

Ryder grabbed a beer from Dan's car, chugging it in an instant making me cringe at the frat-boy nature of my teammates. I liked them for the most part, they were good at the game and overall decent people but they had the tendencies of total fuckwits and I hated being grouped with their idiotic behaviour.

"I'm tired," Layla mumbled so quietly I almost didn't hear her as I looked down to see her eyes hooded and her body slumped against mine.

"We can sit on the hood?" I asked her quietly and she nodded slowly. I kept my arm around her as we walked through our small ground before I sat myself down on the hood of Ethan's BMW. She sat herself next to me, once again her body leaning towards me as I swung my arm around her.

"Dude, not my new car," Ethan whined and Layla went to stand up but I pulled her against me as I looked at him with a straight face.

"You were just sitting on it," I stated and he rolled his eyes before returning his gaze back to the ground. I had completely checked out of the conversation still, not listening to a word any of them were saying as I felt Layla's warmth radiating off of her body.

I noticed Allie and Chris running around the parking lot, Chris seemingly chasing Allie with something that I couldn't see from the dim lights of the parking lot. I shook my head, smiling at their idiotic actions.

"This is nice," Layla spoke quietly so only I could hear and I looked down at her to see she was still looking ahead.

"What's nice?" I asked her in the same hushed tone, returning my thumb to tracing circles on her arm.

"All of it," she mumbled before she looked up at me, her eyes now very red and pupils dilated even more so, "You're nice."

"You're not too bad yourself, Layls," I smiled down at her and a lazy smile spread across her lips.

"I've never had a nickname. I like it," she nodded like she was a little kid making me chuckle. I never liked being around people when they were high or drunk but she just seemed to be more relaxed, her cold demeanour disappearing by the minute.

"I'll have to keep using it then," I told her and she nodded once again, returning to look ahead of us at my friends, "Is Rockstar still on the table though?"

She laughed and it felt like music to my ears, my smile widening as she shook against me before saying, "You're a fucking idiot."

"At least I'm pretty," I shrugged, an amused look covering my face as she looked up at me with a roll of her eyes, "You said it, not me."

I stared down at her, a small smile still on my lips as her eyes scanned my face before she said, "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Because you're the pretty one here," I blurted out without a second thought and I saw a small tint of red cover her face. She moved her to look ahead again as I leaned down, placing my chin on top of her hair.

"Bony ass chin," she mumbled, making me chuckle as I pinched her arm, "Hey!"

"Don't call my chin bony," I said back as my eyes drifted to where Chris was now sitting with Allie in the middle of the parking lot.

"Then don't have a bony chin while putting it on my head," Layla said back and I moved my arm off of her shoulders, sliding it down so it was on her back before I pinched her waist lightly. She sat upright, hitting me in the chest with her right hand, "Stop pinching me!"

"Or what?" I challenged and she stood up, moving to stand in front of me. She moved my right knee so it was slightly further apart from my other as she placed herself between my legs. I felt my breath hitch as she leaned forward.

"Or this," she simply said before she stepped back, holding my phone in her hand that I hadn't even noticed she slid out of the pocket of my hoodie.

"Layls, give me my phone back," I reached to grab it but she moved it further away, "Really?"

"You want it?" she smirked at me as she started walking backwards, "Come get it then, pretty boy."

I stood up from the hood of the car and I placed my drink on the ground before I slid my keys out of my pocket, turning to Nate and placing them on his chest before saying, "Hold these."

He didn't get a chance to respond before Layla bolted down the length of the car park and I quickly ran after her. Her laughter echoed through the parking lot but she made the mistake of slowing down to look behind her at me because her reaction time to seeing how close to her I was, was not fast enough. I grabbed her arm just in time before she could slip away, pulling her chest against mine but she moved her other arm to hide my phone behind her back.

"Can I have my phone back now?" I looked down at her, eyebrows raised as she smiled up at me dopily. She shook her head and I reached around her back to grab it but she was able to contort her arm so it was further away from my hand. I rolled my eyes as I let my hand drop to my side.

She chewed on her lip for a moment, looking in thought as she scanned my face before she moved her arm, sliding it up the bottom of her hoodie. She pulled her hand out again, the phone no longer in it.

"If you want your phone, grab it yourself," she smirked up at me and I groaned, still keeping a grip on her arm but not tight enough to be aggressive.

"I'm not taking my phone out of your bra, Layls," I stated and she shrugged with a smile still on her lips.

"Guess you're not getting your phone back then," she giggled and I shook my head, pursing my lips so a smile didn't slip through at the sound of her joy.

"You're the most stubborn girl I've ever met," I mumbled, trying to keep a straight face as she beamed up at me.

"And you're a pussy. Just grab the phone, Matthew. Not that hard," she challenged and I let my eyes fall closed, debating on whether or not it was a good idea to follow her wishes. The devil on my shoulder got the better of me as I gave in, pulling the hem of her hoodie towards me only to realise she wasn't wearing a shirt.

"You're really making me do this?" I asked and she nodded, looking dead into my eyes as I sighed. My fingers brushed against the warm skin of her stomach, the coldness making goosebumps rise on her skin. I slowly trailed my hand up as she raised her eyebrows, a smirk still on her lips.

I felt my hand touch a fabric that wasn't her hoodie and I hesitated, not being able to see under the sweatshirt to figure out where my phone was. I let out a huff, deciding to just get it over with so it didn't look like I was just feeling her up in the middle of the parking lot. My hand rose to the top of her bra, my fingers running along the top of her boobs before I felt something solid. I felt the rectangular shape and quickly slid the phone out before my hand left her hoodie entirely.

"Good boy," she patted the side of my face before she slid past me, walking back to the group as I stared at the ground in front of me. I tried to regain my consciousness and pull myself together but the feeling of her skin on mine made my hand tingle and my pants tighten. My mind was swirling with thoughts of nothing but her. Her skin, her eyes, her smile, her mind, her voice. God, her voice rang through my ears, "You comin' or what?"

This girl will be the death of me.

tags:

@ilovechrissturniolo1 @leprechaunbirthdaygirl

#matt sturniolo #matthew sturniolo #matthew bernard sturniolo #matt sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo triplets #sturniolo #the sturniolo triplets #sturniolo imagine #sturniolo edit #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo smut #christopher sturniolo #chris sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #nick sturniolo #christopher owen sturniolo

[nonstopangelica]

lin manuel miranda x reader!

you were late but you were finally seeing hamilton for the first time after years of it being on stage. your friend got tickets and asked if you wanted to come with. you agreed as you wanted to know what the hype was about. you walked to the seats with your friend and sat down. eventually a man sat next to you and you overheard him talking to his friends.

“every time i come back here it’s like im checking in on my kid at college”

you paid it no mind and looked through the playbill. you scanned through the pages and looked at the credits.

book music and lyrics by lin manuel miranda

“lin, you want something? im getting a snack”

“im good thanks”

you turned your head and looked at him, that is lin.

lin turned to you and said hello.

you said hello back and pointed to his name in the playbill.

“yup that’s me”

“how ironic that on my first time seeing hamilton i sit next to you”

“how ironic that on my 701st time seeing hamilton i sit next to you” lin responds

you laugh.

“are your expectations low or high?”

“high of course, how does it feel to know that everyone just raves over your work?”

“it’s a great feeling. i hope you find the hype worth it”

the show starts and you both silence your phones.

in the first minute of the show you’re absolutely hooked. lin looks at you and giggles to himself at your reactions. by the time satisfied comes around you’re amazed and when nonstop happens just before intermission, you’re wondering why you haven’t seen it sooner.

the lights come on at intermission and lin turns to you.

“well… what do you think?

you make a face showing you’re absolutely amazed.

“are you telling me that YOU made this?”

he gets shy and nods

“there’s no way this can get even better”

“you’ll have to find out”

“i can’t wait”

your friend notices lin as well and speaks to him for a quick moment before she goes to the ladies room.

you notice people staring at you and then realize they’re actually staring at lin. people start to go up to him and ask him for pictures.

as a joke, he tells one of the people to have you take the picture.

“your girlfriend is beautiful” one of them say.

“thank you, but-”

“can you believe she’s been my girlfriend for years and hasn’t seen hamilton once?”

he says this in an obviously sarcastic way that makes you laugh but others gasp.

“i’m just late to the game girl” you say

the intermission is almost over and you settle back into your seats.

“what’s your name?”

“y/n”

he does a little rhyme with your name

“yeah there’s no doubt you made this”

you enjoy the rest of the show and tear up at the end. you look at lin and just nod, “you’re a genius”

he laughs, “nah”

the crowd gives a standing ovation and disperses.

“do you and your friend wanna take a picture on the stage?”

“yes we’d love to!”

lin tells you both to follow him as he leads you backstage. while you walk you have small talk and you think to yourself how nice humble and cute he is.

while walking you see the actors and wave, to your suprise lin introduces you to them and jokes that you’re his girlfriend of years but quickly explains what just happened during intermission.

he takes pictures of you and your friend on the stage and then you tell him to get in the picture. you lightly lean your head onto his shoulder

before you get ready to leave, lin hands you his phone. he seems nervous.

“if you ever want to see the show again or see another show or do whatever i’m always around”

you blush and type your number into his phone. “will do”

i hope you all like this one!

#hamilton #lin manuel miranda #hamilton musical #lin manuel miranda x reader #lin manuel miranda imagine #lin manuel miranda imagines #lin manuel miranda fluff #hamilton imagines

[allthemidnightmemories]

I have so many thoughts and feelings about Josh/Annaleigh leaving Sweeney today, so I’m going to do my best to get them all down without becoming a ball of emotions (which is too late bc I watched their closing speeches 😭)

I’ve been a big fan of Josh since late 2020—though I was always aware of who he was, the pandemic was a chaotic time where his music really spoke to me and helped me through a lot of wild times, and I’ve been such a fan of the passion and care he puts into his artistry.

fast forward to late 2022 and he announces he’ll be starring in Sweeney, and I KNEW I would do whatever it took to get there. after a couple of failed attempts trying to plan the trip with others, my mom finally agreed to go with me.

I couldn’t have known then that March 2023, right before we were set to go, was going to be one of the worst months in my life for a long while. between late night bad news phone calls, family emergencies, hospital visits, and funerals, it was a season filled with anxiety and dread about what would go wrong next. it sounds silly now, but it was almost as if I was scared to even go on the trip because it was just one more thing that would go wrong, one more plan that would fall through where I’d have to chin up and tell myself it didn’t really matter to me, even though it did.

and then, none of my worst fears happened. and for a brief 3 hours seeing Sweeney Todd on stage, everything was pure magic.

it’s silly that a musical about vengeance and murder and bloodshed would be the thing to bring light into my life during such a rough period, but it did. I remember the house lights coming up at intermission after Priest and turning to my mom and saying “I’m so happy right now.”

You could tell the absolute passion these two put into these iconic roles, the way they poured everything into making what could be single-note villains into characters that, at their core, are desperately, relatably human, which is where the real tragedy and horror of Sweeney lies. Josh made Sweeney broken, human, full of tension and the push and pull of good and evil, while Annaleigh created a wacky, zany version of a Lovett who truly just wanted to be loved by the one she loved, and would do anything to get that love.

aside from the show experience itself, this revival reignited this blog and connected me with so many people who have united around this incredible show. from the silly memes to the heartbreaking analysis, it’s been SO much fun to dive deeper into this show with everyone, and I can’t wait to keep doing that.

anyways. I know this isn’t the end of the show and that we’ll hopefully have many exciting future iterations of Sweeney and Mrs. Lovett in this current revival. But today marks the end of an era I’m eternally grateful for, and it all began with these two incredible performers who made such an impact on me during such a chaotic time in my life.

happy trails, Josh and Annaleigh 🔪🥧💈

#sweeney todd revival #sweeney todd #josh groban #annaleigh ashford #I’m doing a lot of crying over media this weekend lol

[arcadekitten]

hi ak! in a past post youve said twyla says "how unfortunate" to you when you name yourself crowven in hfsh. does anything happen when you put in other characters names? thank you!

Indeed! Most of the time it's just characters commenting on having the same name as you.

For example, if you tell Netina your name is Netina she'll say "Haha, that's my name too!" If you tell Theo your name is Theodore or Theo, he'll say "Same as mine…"

However, there's a few fun ones in there as well! (And y'know what it's been almost a year since it was completed so shoot, I'll go through those!)

Potential HFSH spoilers below?

In Netina's route, if you name yourself Theo or Theodore, during the scene where Theo confronts you she'll say "They've got the same name as you!" but if you name yourself Crowven, she'll say "They've got the same name as your friend!"

Also if you name yourself Theo/Theodore, there's at least one instance where Netina calls you other-Theo/other-Theodore. ---

In Theo's route, if you name yourself Netina, he'll say "Same as...ugh."

---

In Ollie's route, if you name yourself Ollie, Mitzi will ask you "So, how did you meet Ollie, other-Ollie?"

---

In Crowven's route, if you name yourself Crowven, he'll say "Hey heeeey, nice! [break] Your parents have good taste in names!"

If you name yourself Vasilis he'll say "Whoa, what a coincidence!"

---

In Twyla's route, if you name yourself Twyla or Twy, she'll say "Quite the coincidence." If you name yourself Crowven, she'll say "How unfortunate." If you name yourself Mary, Reginald, or Reggie, she'll say "Hmm...that's bound to get confusing." Also in Twyla's route, if you name yourself Twyla or Twy, when Gunter meets you he'll say "Two of my friend Twyla?! Gunter approves!" If you named yourself Gunter, he'll say "We are one in the same!"

---

In the Intermission Chapter with Ms. B, if you name yourself Bubblegum, she'll say "Wouldn't you know? That's my name too! [break] Hence why everyone calls me "Ms. B.""

If you name yourself Jik-jak(spelled exactly as shown) or Jack she'll say "O-oh…[break] Sorry, just…[break]…Nevermind. It's a nice name."

If you name yourself Vanilla or Vanill, she'll say "Oh? [break] What a nice name...[break] It rolls right off the tongue! [break] I really like that name…"

---

In Mary's route, if you name yourself Mary, when Netina brings you to confront Mary she'll introduce you by saying "They even share your name!"

If you name yourself Reggie or Reginald, she'll say "After all, they share a name with you-know-who!"

---

In Reginald's route, if you name yourself Mary, he'll say "You've got the same name as my girlfriend, haha! [break] Anyways..."

If you name yourself Mitzi, he'll say "Your name is…a little awkward for me, but…" and then thank you for looking out for Mary like normal.

---

In Zapara's route, if you name yourself Zapara, Zap, Crowven, Crow, Theo, or Theodore, she'll say "Ha! Copycat, much?"

---

in Jaxter's route, if you name yourself Lixue, he'll say "Heh, don't scare me like that! [break] …Kidding."

If you name yourself Bianca, he'll say "Heh, that's my sister's name too."

---

And, of course, at the very start of the game! If you named yourself Vanilla or Vanill, your father Jik-jak will NOT freak out over the phone when the Headmistress calls over to you, and instead will say "Oh! They're calling for you. [break] I'll talk to you later, then. [break] I can't wait to hear all about your first day, my angel!"

#HFSH FANS COME EAT!! #here for sweethearts #hfsh #hereforsweethearts #fun name stuff #ask

[rogersandclarke]

What is the band that’s a combination of mcr and Grateful Dead. I must know

what? there isn’t one, that i know of. but if you’re talking about my header image, that’s referring to an outfit photo i sent my friend, really enjoyed their response to it :)

but let’s talk about this for a minute, cause i’ve been noticing some connections! the dead are potentially one of the most documented, catalogued, obsessively followed bands in history. because of their tendency to improvise, every performance of a song would be different. so fans would covertly tape shows (until the 80s, when the band made a tapers section, since it brought in way more fans for them than it did hurt record sales). & so people would pass around these tapes, sharing them with friends who knew everything and nothing about the band. people could listen to a hundred tapes and decide their favorite performance of sugaree was 5/28/77, & while the jack straw that followed during that show was good, it had nothing on the classic version from eugene, oregon in ‘72.

by the 80s, this manifested itself in a very loyal & recognizable group of people, the deadheads, following the band around on tour, however they could manage it. if you went to one show, or a few shows, you’d regret not going to the next one, because your friend would phone you up and tell you about JUST HOW GROUNDBREAKING AND NEW AND DIFFERENT jerry’s althea solo was tonight—even when it’s been done a hundred times, it’s never been done before.

and so, because of this, you would see so many deadheads at shows selling homemade merchandise, jewelry, anything they could in order to afford to drive that van to the next magical show. inside the concerts, there was a real, supportive community feeling (at least until ‘87, when things got a little too big to control, but that’s really not the story here). the wharf rats held AA/NA meetings for deadheads in recovery during intermission, there were families there, and everyone had common ground in their mutual devotion to this band. people would go and choose to set up camp in front of bobby, jerry, phil, whoever they liked best, knowing where their spot on stage would be each night.

both reflecting on this myself, and talking to some friends who enjoy both bands, the behavior of mcr fans in 2022 is starting to feel like that of 80s deadheads. while the band is now slightly older, performing outside the time period they're stereotypically associated with, the community around them is stronger than ever, and more devoted. the obsession with capturing and watching livestreams of every single show feels VERY reminiscent of the deadheads' goal to tape every single dead show. because, with mcr, it feels like every night on stage really is different, and you don't know what could happen. while they don't really improvise like the dead, there are still so many nightly changes that people who are deeply invested in the band are tuned into, and get excited about. every outfit choice, stage story, lyric difference, intonation difference, highlighted harmony, inspired solo, and setlist choice are torn apart by fans. it's exciting!!

then we do have the people who are following the band! while people always did this, there seems to be more desire, more desperation to go to as many shows as you possibly can, now that the shows are all being recorded and you can see in real-time what you're missing out on. @spiderbasil was someone i talked to about this, about selling homemade merch and doing odd jobs to get the chance to see more shows. and there are many more people who have done just that, or used other money-saving/making methods to see this band wherever they possibly can.

and it does feel like a community, when you're there! not just an online event. if you're in the pit (or whatever it is when you're at a festival. giant giant pit.) then you can choose to be on the ray side, or the frank side, or get as close to the middle as you can manage for gerard. i had a wonderful time with my fellow ray enthusiasts at riot fest, we became friends, traded instagrams, and looked out for each other in the insanity of it all, holding onto each other & making sure no one got lost.

basically i just feel like the attitude towards these bands and the relationship that the fans have between each other is getting more similar! mcr is kind of becoming a scene of its own... in the way that the dead were kind of their own scene... even though they did have a lot of connections to other musicians around them and in the scene its like a world is being built up just for them. and its kind of cool! good and bad comes with that, but i see a lot of good, because we all enjoy the music together :)

#grateful dead #mcr #ask #my writing #< i suppose

[ladylooch]

How would Timo react when he gets a call (maybe during practice or a game) that Emma got into a car accident (you don’t have to do this if you don’t feel comfortable)

Timo skates his final couple laps around the ice, tossing the puck back and forth with Jack for another attempt at finding the back of the neck. He smiles as Jack easily tosses the puck in over Dawson’s feeble attempt to play goalie. But as he circles by the spot Emma is supposed to be, he can’t help but feel worried. Lexi is there, waving with Lucie and Lio. Timo taps Lio’s spot one last time with his glove before he goes to stand by the door. Jack comes hustling off in front of him, then Timo follows.

“Where is mama?” Jack wonders. 

“I don’t know…” Timo trails off. She’s supposed to be here. He’s worried. 

He doesn’t get an update until he is sitting on the bench after his third shift of the game. An assistant coach taps Timo on the shoulder.

“Hey, word from Ops is Emma was in a car accident on the way to the game. She is okay, but is dealing with the car getting towed, so she isn’t going to make it. She wanted you to know so you weren’t worried.”

Weren’t worried? Now he is more worried. An accident? And the car needs to be towed? HE nods in response then leans forward on the bench to hide the anxiousness in his face. He chews his mouthguard hard every shift, trying to focus on the game while ignoring his wife’s accident. He never does this, but during intermission, with the team up two goals, he grabs his phone, popping into a quiet space to call her.

“T, I’m okay.” Emma answers the phone.

“Where are you?”

“I’m in the rental car on the way home.” 

“Okay.”

“You need to take Lio from Lexi. I forgot to grab his carseat out of my car before they took it.” The cold sweat beads down Timo’s spine. He hadn’t thought of that. Thank God Lio wasn’t in the car.

“What happened?” He focuses his wife on what he needs to know before he heads back to the ice.

“I was at a light and a kid rear ended me which forced my into the car in front of me, so it’s a little squished.”

“Oh my god.” Timo frantically pushes his hand into his hair.

“It’s okay. I’m okay. Not even a scratch on me. I promise it all happened really slow. I’m sorry about the car. I know we just got it special ordered-”

“I don’t care about the car, Em. I care that you are safe and okay.” Timo sighs. He glances at the intermission count down, seeing 6 minutes.

“I am okay.” She confirms again. “Promise. I just want to go home and put on comfy clothes… wait for my boys for get home for sleepy snuggles.”

“Eat some dinner too.” He knows her. She was working all day and rushing to the game. She definitely didn’t eat.

“I will.” She chuckles. “Score a goal for me.”

“I love you, Em. I’m glad you’re okay. I was scared.”

“I know. I love you too babe. Be safe.”

“You too.” He sighs, then clicks off. He closes his eyes in relief. 

When he gets home that night, he sticks Emma to his chest until he feels like he can breathe normally again.

#Meier AU Celebration #tm: loving & leaving

[wdwbabes]

Leaving one of mackies games early? Cuz you felt sick?

((sorry this took so long!))

mackie invited you to one of his games and it just happened to be on the worst day. you received this invitation weeks ago and agreed, very excited to see your friend do what they enjoy most.

then yesterday you got sick. the nauseous type of sickness that does not go away. you do everything you can to try to make it go away, but nothing is working.

it is three hours before the game and now mackie is texting you.

mackie: can't wait to see you in the stands!!

mackie: we're gonna win tonight, i can feel it

mackie: you can still make it right?

your stomach twists, feeling horrible that he is so excited for you to be there but you feel like absolute shit.

y/n: of course i will be there!

you don't want mackie to know you're sick, that's not always the best look, especially for someone you are interested in a more than just a friend way.

mackie: can't wait to see you there! i gotta head in for warm-ups but I'll see you after the game?

y/n: of course

you decide that you might as well try to tough it out during the game since it is only a block from your apartment. you take a quick nap, knowing that you will feel slightly better when you wake up.

it is now 1 hour before the game and you have just woken up from your nap. you take some medication so you aren't horribly nauseous and make your way to your closet.

you pull out an oversized michigan crewneck and a pair of light washed jeans. you throw them on and quickly curl your hair.

before you know it, you are waiting in line to enter yost. you get through security and up to the ticket lady, she asks "can i see your ticket please?" in a very sweet tone.

"my friend gave me his free ticket, he plays on the team," you say, slightly nervous because mackie did not specify how to do this.

"okay dear, whats your name and the name of the player?" she asks, pulling out a tablet and clicking some things.

"my name is y/n, and the player's name is mackie," you smile nervously.

"okay, i got you right here," she hands you a ticket stub with your seat and row number. "you'll be in the box for family and friends of players. you'll take this escalator there! have a good time!"

"thank you," you smile and walk the way she was pointing, still a bit nervous.

you find your way to the box and see plenty of people as well as a ton of food. you help yourself and find a seat. you pull out your phone and decide to text mackie that you are here.

y/n: i have arrived! can't wait to see you play!

you don't expect a response since you can see him skating on the ice for warm-ups, but you send the message anyway.

the puck drops and as you stare at the bright white ice, you begin to feel a bit queasy. you push the feeling away as you drink some water.

the game is going great, michigan is up 2 goals and it is only the first period. it is now intermission when you feel your stomach act up again. this time you take some more medication with the hopes that it will go away.

intermission passed fast and the boys come out from the locker rooms to play the next period. you see mackie skate to his position since he was a starter for this game.

as the second period moves on, you feel sicker and sicker. you find your way to the bathroom and look in the mirror. you don't look good, you are very pale.

you stay in the bathroom until you feel well enough to make it back to your apartment. when you get back, you change into some comfy clothes and lay in your bed with netflix on and a trashcan next to your bed.

you look at your phone once you are settled and see some texts from mackie.

mackie: where are you?

mackie: i didn't see you

mackie: are you okay?

how does he have his phone right now, isn't he playing a hockey game you ask yourself. how did he even notice i wasn't there?

y/n: i didn't feel well so i left early, sorry mackie :/

mackie: are you feeling okay?

y/n: yeah, just a little nauseous

mackie: keep me updated, i'll come over after the game

what does he mean by that, he doesn't even know where you live.

y/n: what

you anxiously are refreshing social media to get updates about the team and the game. you refresh and notice mackie had scored but the zoom in on his face shows that he does not look happy.

another refresh and in front of your face you see mackie try to start a fight, which gets called as a penalty.

you are worried, to say the least.

you refresh and it was a win for michigan, 4-1. you sit back and wait for mackie to respond to your message once he gets into the locker room.

mackie: send your address, i'll be over in 20

y/n: mackie you really don't have to do that

mackie: yes i do now tell me your favorite soup and send that address

you kind of liked demanding mackie, a different side of him then you usually see in class.

y/n: chicken noodle and 12345 s parrot ln, apt 345

mackie: see you soon.

you put on netflix, trying to distract your mind from mackie which is not working at all by the way. why is he doing this? why did he care that i wasn't there? is he bringing me food? is he mad at me? why is he coming over? why?

you run through every question possible until you hear a knock on your door. you wrap your blanket around you and open the door. there, you see mackie. his hair is still wet from the post game shower and he is holding a bag from panera, with a giant smile on his face.

"aw no, are you okay?" mackie says, his face softening when he notices how pale you are.

"very nauseous," you reply, moving to allow him to enter your apartment. "you didn't have to come over, you know?"

he stops in his tracks and turns around, looking down at you, "yes i did. i asked you to come to the game and then you got sick, it is my responsibility to make sure that you are okay." he continues moving, setting the bag on the kitchen counter and then removing his shoes.

"it wasn't your fault mackie," you touch his shoulder, trying your best to show that you really mean what you are saying. "i wasn't feeling well before the game and i still went, so it is my fault." you explain.

you see his face turn into a look of confusion, "if you weren't feeling well, then why did you come to the game?" he asks, now standing in front of you.

"i already promised and you were so excited for me to go," you say, avoiding his eyes at all costs.

"y/n, if you weren't feeling well, you shouldn't have come to the game. i would've been okay with that." mackie explains, his eyes looking at you as both his hands run up and down your arms comfortingly.

"i didn't want to disappoint you," you whisper, still looking down.

you feel mackie's hand leave your left arm to your chin. slightly nudging your face to look up, he says, "you could never disappoint me, y/n."

you gaze up into his eyes and he stares down at you. you could cut the tension with a knife it was so thick.

"i like you y/n, more than a friend." mackie admits, moving a strand of hair that fell down into your face.

you are shocked. your brain is losing it as you try to process what mackie just admitted. the only words you could stutter out were, "me too."

mackie quirks an eyebrow, looking down at you with a goofy grin, "me too?" he says, trying not to laugh.

embarrassed, you shove your face against his chest.

"c'mon, tell me," mackie drags on, trying to coax it out of you.

"that was so embarrassing," you admit, pulling away from mackie's body to look at him once again. "i like you too."

"i'd love to kiss you but i'm not trying to get sick," mackie smiles, "but know i would if you weren't sick. anyways, let's get you back in bed. i'll warm up the soup." mackie ushers you towards your bedroom as he makes his way in the kitchen.

you smile as you get comfortable in bed again, rethinking the events of the past 2 minutes. all of a sudden you hear a big bang come from the kitchen and mackie screaming "sorry!" you laugh and flip through netflix.

a few minutes later, mackie walks in with a glass of water and some piping hot chicken noodle soup. "here you are," he says while handing it to you. "do you mind?" mackie asks, pointing at the spot next to you on your bed.

"nope," you smile, "not at all."

mackie sits down next to you and steals the remote from your lap. "next time, I'll give you one of my jerseys and you can stay the whole game. we'll just make sure you're not sick." he smiles and laughs a bit, putting on the office.

"sounds good to me," you say with a smile.

#mackie samoskevich x reader #mackie samoskevich imagine #mackie samoskevich blurb #mackie samoskevich #umich imagine #umich hockey

[atrial-ofhorror-if]

Hey, y'all! It's that time of the month again~~ Time for a monthly update!! 

I want to start this off with checking in on you guys. How's everyone doing? The year just started but it just feels like time is moving so fast already. I hope that this year will be much kinder to us all than it has been 🙏🏿🙏🏿 last year really tried to knock my dome top off, but I'm still here, so thats something. Let's all do our best, and kick or at least bruise the universes ass!

Clerical Updates

I have some changes that I'm planning for the Itch.io page, guys 👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿First thing first, I want to change the game's title screen. I had initially made it in Canva with the aid of a friend from work, but as I continue to work through the game, I feel like there could be a much more fitting image. However, your girl isn't a graphic designer, so I want to commission someone to make a header or some shit.

Then I want to add a game starting page into the actual demo. I’ve looked at some examples from other IF writers who have made one, but I think my code is wrong (as it usually is), so I’m pacing back and forth trying to figure out exactly how and what I’m doing wrong. stay tuned for the shenanigans, cause I bet its something super simple 🙃🙃

I've been slowing down in writing. I typically write in my Google docs app on my phone, it's easier than opening my laptop, but the app has been having hella issues. I think it's because of the document size, so it's been significantly slowing down my writing time. I've been looking into alternative apps, so if anyone has recommendations, let me know. 

Game Progress

 I am officially at 60k+ words!!  

To be well (Alex’s Route): 49%

Search and Destroy (Mark's Route): <1%

Interlude (Intermission): 4%

So far, I have three big scenes left to write in Alex’s route. 

North Wing. Nuff said.

Convergent: not to be confused with divergence

Isekai? Isekai. 

Once I've written those scenes out, the rest will be smooth sailing. I just have ends to tie up and scenes to flesh out before I can finally push it into editing. I might do some of the fleshing out during editing to make it easier on myself (and to give myself a break), but I am just trying to go with the flow.

Once I push the game into editing, I'll take a break before I start on Mark's route. I'm still dealing with fatigue from Miss Rona despite having the same progress I had before I got sick but it just feels... weird. Like your girl is trapped in a slumber or something and I can't get out, but now I'm being anecdotal.

Back onto topic.

I want to talk about Mark's route for a moment. Because it truly is the bane of my existence, and I'm DREADING having to write it. I have three possible ways of how I want to deal with it:

Write the damn thing out, and stop bitching. Not ideal

Don't write it and be great 😤😤😤 most ideal

Release Alex's route once done with editing and worry about Mark at a later date. also not ideal cause then I have to come back to it! 🥴🤧😭

So, the last option is something I'm looking at real disrespectfully. Partially because I'm probably going to have to rewrite some of the subplots because when I plotted the outline for the entire episode, I had a precise idea of what was to occur. But Alex's route completely shifted from what was supposed to be there into something that I don't even recognize. Which isn't a bad thing, just… an inconvenience 🥴🥴

Therefore a lot of things that were supposed to happen just didn't. Which, again, isn't a bad thing. It just means that I need to reign the plot in again. I could finesse a lot of the content to make it flow, BUT that will take me some time.

So, in short... I still don't know what I'm gonna do!! 😭😭 but I probably will end up writing Mark's route cause I don't want to end up shorting you guys on content just cause I'm feeling lazy.

This episode has a LOT of variety in it. Like, I'm not even bullshitting. I'm aiming to make it so that you guys can replay it as often as you desire and still find new things you would have missed. (To make up for the fact that episode 2 probably won't be released until next year if we're being honest 🥴🥴)

The interlude isn't even something I'm thinking about at the moment. Partially because I'm trying to push through Episode 1, get done with Alex's Route and start on Mark's. A portion of it will still be in the update, but I'm debating if its going to be even smaller than what I intended it to be. Possibly? But again, I'm not so much of a planner as much as I am a 'go with the flow'er.

I'm hoping to drop pieces of the interlude this year until it's whole, instead of just writing the entire thing, cause I swear I'm not doing this shit again, lol 🤣🤣. Either way, I will keep you guys updated if anything changes.

I think that's it? If you guys have any questions, you know what to do. And if you need anything, let me know! I'm semi-available (not really) on the weekdays so I'll try to answer any asks as quickly as I can. But either way, love y'all 🤎🤎

#a trial of horror #if wip #twine game #interactive fiction #twine #interactive game #atoh #if game #if wips #horror if #horror games #cyoa

[allthetea]

the first tea that i'm going to spill starts with these infamous four words: so there's this guy.

let's call this guy aaron. aaron is a senior (i'm a freshman), and i really like him. i've been friends with his sister since seventh grade, but i didn't meet him until the end of eighth grade. i had to practice singing a solo for a chorus concert, and my chorus teacher asked me to go sing for her high school chorus first period. so i was terrified, as any eighth grader would be in this situation. i was sitting there talking to one of the only people i knew in the class, let's call her allie. remember her, because she'll be important later on. so i sang my solo, and i did pretty well. i was walking out, and aaron went out into the hallway to throw away his gum as i was leaving. he told me that i did really good, which meant a lot to 13-year-old me.

skip ahead to the weekend after, when we had our chorus show where i was singing my solo. i was rehearsing, and he came through the auditorium with one of his friends. they stopped and sat in the front row until i finished singing, then stood up and clapped and yelled and all the things. he was the one who started the standing ovation after i performed during the concert. he was also singing in it, and middle and high school had a song together. everyone was getting on stage, and he came up next to me and smiled, pointed at me, and just said "it's you." and i pointed back and did the same thing, and then we went on with the show.

that summer, i got snapchat. one day i was sitting there on my phone and i got a notification that aaron had added me. i added him back, and waited for him to snap first. he snapped me almost immediately, and we were sending full-face snaps back and forth and all this stuff. i ended up deleting my snap because it was taking up too much of my time, but he was in my chorus class at the beginning of this year.

we got closer through chorus, and ended up exchanging numbers because i challenged him to a game of cup pong. we never really texted much, but we did play games a few times.

later on, we went to a chorus audition together. it was me, him, four other girls, and two other guys. we were all hanging out together, and one of the girls happened to be allie. remember her? she admitted to all the girls that she's had a crush on aaron since third grade. we all encouraged her and told her she should shoot her shot, but she hasn't so far. so now, i can't tell any of these girls about the crush on aaron. me and aaron played imessage games together all day that day, plus we talked a lot on the bus.

nothing majorly important happened until about a week ago. we were in chorus together preparing for our big show, and he has a solo in it. he was singing his solo, and we locked eyes. we held eye contact through the entire song and the next two songs, until my friend started talking to me. later on, during baby it's cold outside, we started looking at each other again. we were singing, and the boys had the line "gosh your lips look delicious." when he sang that, he looked down at my lips and winked at me. we kinda flirted through the rest of the class until we had to leave.

nothing happened through the next couple of days, until thursday. chorus was optional unless you had to make up time, but we both just came because we wanted to. so it was the two of us in there, plus about four other people. we sat together and talked through the whole class. he told me how it's his last chorus class ever, and we talked about how much it sucks that his other solo for the concert got cut from the set. we walked up the steps together to go to third period, and he was singing this song. i asked him what the song was, and he told me. the song is "a life where we work out" by flatland cavalry, and he told me i should learn to play it on the violin. we kept talking until we got to third period.

last night, we had our chorus show. we flirted and talked before the show and during the intermission, and i got up the nerve to text him after. and now, it's been 17 hours and i haven't gotten a response.

mixed signals suck. boys, don't do this to a girl. please.

#love #romance #mixed signals #boys #basketball boys #music #flatland cavalry #a life where we work out #him #i love him #chorus #tea #drama

[krawlernyannyan]

Unorganized Hypotheses and Notes about Penacony post-v2.0

Attempts to pick apart and unravel some of the strings we've got to untangle during this intermission. Most of these questions are unanswered, for the simple fact there's not information to go off of yet. This is thorough, and tackles pretty much every question I've got about the story at this point in time.

Posting this for my own sake, and putting it under a readmore for your sake. Anything in purple is information I want to verify for myself later or need to do more research on.

[ THIS USER WOULD LIKE TO SPECIFY THEY ARE AVOIDING LEAKS AND SPOILERS, AND WOULD LIKE READERS TO AVOID MENTIONING THEM IN INTERACTIONS. THANK YOU. ]

1. Who is Acheron?

Acheron's intermittent memory and lack of any identifying information make her one of the most important wild cards still in the game on Penacony. There is implicit evidence to suggest that she isn't just an alternate-universe counterpart of Raiden Mei from Honkai Impact 3rd, but the same person. In her first scene she makes one reference to the HI3 plot and makes another later on after Firefly's death. The former is in red text, leaving room for suspicion, but the later is in normal text. These could just be references to draw parallels between the two, but they are things Acheron explicitly is remembering. The only other hint to her past life is that, somehow, she knows the Trailblazer already in the opening sequence.

2. What Aeon is Acheron the Emanator of?

A late development in the story is that Aventurine tells us Acheron is actually an Emanator. He can't give an exact description, only describing her as one that "brings death and finality". There's a few options; Finality is the obvious answer but there's others that have some meat behind them: - If she's an Emanator of Destruction, it might provide more reason why she opted to attack Duke Inferno to swipe his invitation - she was getting a thorn in Nanook's side out of the way to kill two birds with one stone. - Galaxy Rangers are already associated with The Hunt, so if she actually is a Galaxy Ranger her being an Emanator of The Hunt tracks. - I personally think there's some meat to Nihility? It's her in-game playable Path, her memory loss could be the effects of Nihility on her mind, plus if her Aeon is one that Aventurine didn't mention this is probably the best pick.

3. How did Acheron even check into the hotel?

When the Astral Express crew arrive, they end up causing a minutes-long backup because security is so tight around the Charmony Festival that they can't even reassign a room to a verified party without Sunday's direct involvement. How is it possible then, that Acheron was able to swipe an invitation from another party and check in with it, with no problems whatsoever? The idea of her using a stolen invitation is brought up by Aventurine, which is actually even stranger when he's the one who initially brings up how ironclad security is at the Reverie when we're checking in!

4. What does the red text mean?

The red text appears repeatedly across Penacony and thus far has no tangible explanation. Acheron is the most obvious example and uses it the most, but there's environmental objects that use it as well - a phone in the Reverie's lobby and a Ticker in the Dreamscape Reverie. When Acheron uses red text, it's either when asking questions or explaining past events - and those sequences are actually randomized, meaning almost any time she describes her past, there is no way to verify it. The only example given any elaboration is the Ticker, where it's said to come from a record that influences people's emotions. The best theory as what it does in practice is alter people's cognition - affecting their emotional state or making them believe things that aren't true.

5. What happened to the three Trailblazers?

One of the first things we're asked to do on Penacony is figure out what happened to three Trailblazers that left the Astral Express for Penacony millennia ago (before the emergence of Stellarons, even). We get no information about any of them in the v2.0 story, sans what few details we get when we're given the task. There's Tiernan, former guard for the Express; Legwork, the former mechanic; and Razalina, the former surveyor.

6. What is the importance of the Nameless Dream Bubble?

When we first meet Dr. Edward at the Dreamscape Sales Store, it's an odd scene. We're given a bubble, supposedly from an anonymous donor, of Pom-Pom yelling at someone who we're told is Akivili. The game leaves room for suspicion on that count, by labeling the speaker as "Akivili?" and having that person's audio track completely excised (meaning we can't even confirm their gender). We're also told the bubble has something to do wit the fall of Akivili, though it's extremely unclear how. It's not clear when the bubble's memory takes place either, only that it's after Aha blows up half the Express.

7. What are Clockie and his friends, and why can only the Trailblazer see them?

The fact that Clockie, a literal cartoon character, can exist in the world of Penacony is already odd but the fact that only the Trailblazer can see them is likely extremely important. Whatever kind of cognitive entity Clockie is, their existence establishes a basic fact: there are elements of the dream world that can only be perceived by specific kinds of people. This is almost certainly going to be a pivotal element in finding the Watchmaker's Legacy, because it means even experts in manipulating the dreamscape like Black Swan might not be able to find it unless they were the right kind of person to be cognizant of it in the first place. This is a pretty reasonable line of defense when you consider whoever hid the Legacy would know the capabilities of the Memokeepers, since the Garden of Recollection was one of the original creators of Penacony in the first place.

8. Who (and what) is Misha?

There is some very strong evidence to suggest that Misha isn't a real person, and is instead the same kind of cognitive entity that Clockie and his pals are. I need to comb through all the scenes they're in and especially the scene with the mafia boss but nobody actually interacts with him. If I'm remembering the scene correctly, that mafia boss doesn't even say anything to Misha - just Acheron. There's also the fact that when Acheron says they can feel a presence next to them in that scene, they're not looking down at Clockie, she's looking at where Misha is. An important detail of this idea is that Misha isn't just visible in the Dreamscape, you can see him in the Reverie too (and possibly the Express as well if his interactions on the train are canon). If he is a cognitive entity, he has to be a much stronger kind than any of them. That the voice in A Child's Dream is Misha's implies that, at minimum, he has more to do with the goings-on in Penacony than it's been let on.

9. Who (and what) is Mikhail?

We only have a name to go off of, and the snippets of conversation we get in A Child's Dream. A late-breaking update on that front is the animated Clockie shorts that Hoyo put out. The director for the first short is listed as Mikhail (the other two are directed by "Ruthie" and "Hanunu"). The name alone is actually enough to make one connection - the shortened version of the name Mikhail? It's Misha.

10. What is "spiritual death"?

It's started at multiple points that death shouldn't exist in Penacony - you just wake up back in your hotel room even if you still feel the pain. What Something Unto Death does is treated as dying for real, and isn't described as "spiritual death" until the end scene with Sunday. We have no idea what's happened to the victims' bodies in reality, and that condition might become an important part of solving the mystery in future patches. If the SUD's battle mechanics translate to in-universe functions, then it's possible that Firefly and Robin's souls are just lying somewhere in the Dreamscape, waiting to be found.

11. Why are the two deaths different?

There are two deaths that happen in v2.0: Firefly is killed on-screen and explodes into paste before she even hits the ground, then we see Robin died offscreen with a corpse and visible wound that stuck around long enough for Aventurine to show it to two people before it evaporated. If we assume SUD was responsible for both deaths (as Sunday seems to), why are the two bodies in such different conditions?

12. Why was Robin in the Dreamscape?

Aside from the aforementioned questions about the condition of her body, why was Robin in the primal Dreamscape in the first place? She's an interastral pop star and an instrumental figure in the upcoming Charmony Festival - how did she manage to get away from The Family and wind up in the Reverie's dreamscape to get killed in the first place? Is there anything to gain from those repeated mentions of her hoarse voice in the beginning of the story?

13. Who hired Sparkle, and what do they want?

In her companion mission, it's mentioned that someone hired Sparkle to come to Penacony, and implied that this person wouldn't appreciate Sparkle going out of her way to make alliances with the other factions. Who are they and why did they bring her here? It's not likely to be someone like Giovanni, who definitely has the money for it but he's mentioned by name elsewhere so I doubt it's him.

14. What was the Stellaron disaster Penacony went through?

There has been in-game mentions that Penacony dealt with a Stellaron disaster, and that Xipe was the one who ultimately dealt with it. We have not, however, received any information about what the disaster was. Implicitly, it's something bad enough that three different Aeons got involved. Is it possible whatever happened is why the penal colony was able to be turned into the Penacony of today, or why so many objects inside the primal dreamscape seem to embody the memories of the original prisoners?

15. What is the ultimate goal of the Stellaron Hunters on Penacony?

In the first scene in the Dreamscape, there's the echoes of Sam and Silver Wolf discussing their plans. Specifically, they mention "pulling [someone] off the stage" and "presenting the truth". It's not clear when this conversation actually takes place, but what "truth" are they planning to reveal? What do they plan to do at, presumably, the stage of the Grand Theater?

16. What was the goal of the invitations inviting so many different factions to Penacony?

Even before we got to Penacony, The Family choosing to let other factions into the Charmony Festival is brought up as a weird unique occurrence. Over the course of the plot it becomes clear at least some of the factions were invited outside of The Family's control, though some number have to have been invited naturally (otherwise it would be trivial to simply acknowledge all of them as fake). The intention seems to be to get as many parties as possible working to undermine The Family's control and get people looking for the Watchmaker's Legacy, but some of the choices are bizarre and indicate a high degree of desperation. Why the Knights of Beauty? Why the Annihilation Gang, of all people?

17. What is the relationship between the Watchmaker and The Family?

The Watchmaker is a legendary figure on Penacony and the alledged Father of Penacony, yet Sunday's line early on about "actual administrators" paints a very certain picture about how The Family view themselves. It's implied The Watchmaker themselves might be the reason the primal dreamscape is starting to subsume Penacony, but how did the dreamscape's founder and its current controllers come to blows like this?

Speculation & Other Notes

The clocks are a recurring motif to the point they infiltrate the OST itself. This goes just beyond the obvious - the entire dreamscape is modeled like a clock. The Grand Theater sits at the center of the dreamscape as a central pivot; the twelve Moments are the numbers representing each of the hours; you could say the long thing shape of The Reverie puts it into the position of the clock's hands, moving guests around the dial to each of the Moments; and the deeper dreamscape is where the internal clockworks would be kept.

Suicide and self-annihilation are constant and repeated themes across Penacony. To list a few examples: Lew Archer throwing herself off buildings to cope with her grief; IV threatening to throw themselves off a building to cope with criticism; Lesley Dean allowing his imaginary existence to end for the betterment of his creators; Sparkle casting herself as a murder victim in murder mysteries (something even Sampo comments on); Tizocic II destroying herself by erasing her own memories, then returning to her homeworld for an assured execution. People destroying themselves, or parts of themselves, because they believe there's something better on the other side. This hasn't been part of the main story yet, but I expect it to play a major part of the events going on in Penacony.

The map screen on Penacony straight-up shows us some of the future areas we're going to get, and we've got at least 4-5 areas left to explore on Penacony, above or below the glitz and glamour.

As a point of speculation: I think the Trailblazer is going to earn their Harmony path by managing to get all of the disparate factions playing against each other to finally work together towards the same goal. Similar to how Belobog's plot ultimately focused on how Preservation was worth pursuing even in the face of uncertain struggles and potentially endless struggle, I believe the Penacony plot will end in the Trailblazer pursuing cooperation and unity between the factions, even in spite of the dangers of trusting people. It's mentioned in a few places that "the Harmony's incarnation" will descend to the Charmony Festival - I wonder if the Trailblazer will ultimately filling that prestigious role.

I have no clue what Type the Harmony Trailblazer is going to be but I like Ice/Harmony considering the water themes going on with the Dreamscape. Imaginary or Quantum would be nice, too.

I expect this list to balloon further as I dig more into this update, and more so with future updates.

#EZ: HSR #yeah haha you think i'm subjecting any of the main tags to this #consider yourself spared unless you found this the hard way #HSR Specposting #Headcanonposting

[cparti-mkiki]

so like after last night's performance i was thinking back on my general experiences and there's this thing about phones i would appreciate input on because i don't know what's normal and what isn't lol

i've heard some phone noise in almost every single performance ive been to so far - i'm not saying phone calls going off full volume every day (although that HAS happened and literally more than once) but like at least some notification jingle here and there during not particularly convenient moments etc and my question is. is it that hard? i know there's literally hundreds of people here and it only takes one person for something to be noticeable (the did you all come here just to cough? effect when only a minimal fraction of the theater has coughed) so it's pointless to complain because it's not like i or the venues can do anything more i guess. but also the iphone marimba resounding throughout the auditorium during a sad aria completely destroys the experience lmao.

i'm not saying people are forgetting to put them in silent mode (although some people honestly might be) but nowadays "silent mode" might mean anything— it might mute calls but not messages, it might put calls on vibration but not mute them etc— like if you're not 100% certain and there's a chance your phone might be disruptive.... just pick the safest option? literally just put your phone on airplane mode. you can still check it at every intermission? you aren't allowed to check it* during the show anyway so literally no loss

there is also the possibility that im oversensitive to these noises and it's true that i've always been more prone to getting really annoyed by audience noises and disruption even if small and almost unnoticeable and/or involuntary - thinking of my school days like hearing someone whisper something or fumble with their bag while the teacher was talking made me produce looney tunes smoke and not even because i particularly cared about what the teacher was saying or anything - so yes this might be a me problem lol

*also i am generally in the highest, furthest back spots so whenever someone takes out a phone in ANY part of the auditorium it's instantly noticeable to all of us back there and very annoying like you can't underestimate how bright the screen is even at lowest brightness lol. put it back man your section's usher is already coming towards you

#i hope to god these things can't be heard from the stage because as a performer i'd be pissed #my posts #opera

[linn-94]

Chapter 16: Don't be sorry

AARON POV:

I was heading into the theatre to do yet another show. This morning was the last time I saw Sophie. We texted a little, but that was everything. I couldn't help but miss her. It was stupid, we had known each other for a few days, but she was amazing, I felt comfortable and myself with her. It was not like any other relationship I've had.

Last evening when we slept together, not intentionally but still. I slept the best I did in weeks, maybe even months. We fell asleep hugging and it was the best thing. But we hadn't talked about it yet. I had said that I like her, but boy if she knew how I really felt about her.

In my mind I was also still thinking about our kiss and how it felt real. Not like a stage kiss, I didn't mean it to be a stage kiss.

I was lost in thoughts when Ricky knocked on my dressingroom door.

"Hey man, how was walking Sophie home yesterday?" He asked.

"It was amazing! She's so sweet and invited me in for a drink." I said casually.

"That's it? You brought her home and then got a drink? Why don't I believe you man."

"What's going on?" Ashley asked who was now passing Aaron's dressingroom and overheard the story.

"I don't believe that Aaron just brought Sophie home yesterday and the only thing they did was have a drink." Ricky said.

"Oh I don't believe that either." Ashley said now looking at me.

I blushed and tried to look away, because I didn't want to tell them everything.

"Your blushing, now tell us what really happened." Ashley said.

"You guys really want to know?" I asked.

They both nodded yes.

So I told Ricky and Ashley the whole story. About watching tv and her asking me to stay over. How I was gonna sleep on the couch. But then we both felt lonely and fell asleep hugging each other in her bed.

Ashley and Ricky looked at me with wide open eyes.

"You guys really do like each other! Did you talk about what happened with her? About your feelings?" Ashley asked.

I told her we didn't and that I was scared she didn't feel the same way as I did.

"That's ridiculous mate, she just as crazy about you." Ricky said sure of himself.

"Why don't you go to her apartment again tonight after the show? Tell her how you really feel?" Ashely suggested.

"I have to think about that." I responded.

Ricky and Ashley knew I was right and that I needed some time to think. So they left my dressingroom to get ready for the show.

I also got myself ready for the show. I got dressed, did my stage make up and decided to post a picture of it in my Instagram stories.

Not many minutes later I got the notification that Sophie had liked my Instagram story. I blushed and smiled at the same time.

The first act went by pretty quick. It was a friday night so the audience was wild! There was a good energy.

During intermission I just chilled a little bit in my dressingroom and scrolled through Instagram. There was nothing special to see.

I still thought about what Ricky and Ashley had said about visiting Sophie tonight and I decided to do it. The worst thing that could happen, was that she would say she didn't have the same feelings.

I decided that I would text her after the show to see if she was still awake.

The second act also went by very quickly. I couldn't help but thinking of Sophie during 'Come what may'. I kinda saw it as our song now, because of how we had sang together.

In my dressingroom I removed my make up and dressed myself in my everyday clothes. I texted Sophie to see if she was awake and then I headed out for stagedoor.

Outside were many girls waiting. So I started at the beginning of the line signing all the playbills. 15 minutes later I was done and all the fans left stagedoor. I checked my phone to see if Sophie texted me back yet. But she hadn't. I decided to text her again. Actually I texted her twice. After a while I still hadn't had a response.

I knew that if I would go home I would feel sad, so I just started walking towards Sophie's apartment. Maybe she was busy watching netflix and didn't see my texts.

After 15 minutes I arrived at Sophie's apartment. I knocked on her door. It took a while to see action in the apartment. But after a minute or so I saw her looking through the whole in the door. My heart raged in my chest. Oh how I liked her. Sophie opened the door, started talking, but before I even knew what I did.. I kissed her right on the mouth.

SOPHIE POV:

Inside I freaked out about Aaron kissing me. But before I knew I was kissing him back.

We kissed for what it felt like was an eternity. But it was amazing and everything I hoped for.

He let go of the kiss first. We just looked at each other.

"I.. I.. I'm so sorry." He said nervous.

"Don't be!" Was the only thing I could say.

We looked in each others eyes, deep and long.

"D.. do you want to come in?" I asked.

He nodded yes and I let him in. Closing the door behind him. He walked to the couch and sat down.

"Something to drink?" I then asked.

"No thank you." He said.

I walked to the couch and sat down next to him. There was a silence and the only thing we did was looking at each other.

I looked at his lips, they were gorgeous and I wanted to kiss them again, it felt so good. I looked back into his eyes and then decided to do it. So this time I started the kiss.

He cupped my face with both his hands and kissed me back. Then one of his hands moved to my back and he pushed us closer together. Not losing the touch of our lips. His lips were so soft. He was an amazing kisser.

I let go of the kiss and looked into his eyes.

"Thank you." I said.

He chuckled at what I said.

"No, thank you Sophie! That was amazing."

I blushed at what he said and then he blushed too.

I laid my head on his shoulder and he held me close to him. I could hear his heart beating in his chest.

We were quiet for a few minutes.

"Sophie?" He then asked.

"Yes Aaron?"

"I like you very very much, and I've missed you like crazy today!"

I looked at him, he had tears in his eyes saying these words. One tear fell down his cheek and I rubbed it away with my thumb.

I cupped his cheek in my hand and said: "I like you very very much too Aaron. There wasn't one moment where I didn't think about you today."

We kissed again not letting each other go.

#moulin rouge broadway #aaron tveit #fanfiction #aaron tveit fiction #aarontveitfanfiction #aarontveitfiction #broadway #aaron tveit imagine #imagine

[thessalian]

Thess vs Menu Planning

Tomorrow, the groceries arrive. Also some gluten free Japanese curry roux and two new cookbooks. Only things I really have left to order is some more mixing bowls (I only have three and they do double-duty as storage for apples, onions, and potatoes) and a sifter (might be easier on me than the sieve is when I make homemade instant hot chocolate mix).

So here’s the list of Things I’m Going To Eat This Month:

Tandoori chicken (with aloo gobi)

Japanese curry

Potato soup

Roast pork

Pork risotto (related to the above)

Pork fried rice (again, see above - a roast is a lot of pork)

Lasagne

Chicken broccoli pasta bake

So a whole lot of pig and chicken this time around. Even with the potato soup, which requires a fair bit of bacon. Also I got smoothie fixings and some various snack-things. There are a few gaps in the menu rotation but that’s okay - I’m leaving a few spaces for stuff from new cookbooks.

I’m looking forward to the cookbooks. I got two of the four Cooking Tin cookbooks by Rukmini Iyer. Their whole selling point is “Easy, simple, just one cooking tin”. Sounds ideal for me, and I’ll be mining those for recipes for the Cooking With Spoons blog. And for me, obviously. Anything that gives me more recipes to try that won’t completely blow my personal spoons budget is good as far as I’m concerned.

Honestly, though, what I’m really looking forward to is the weekend. I am wiped. At least I didn’t have to push so hard at work today - we were pretty well caught up on the queue, so I slowed the hell down. That’s usually pretty hard for me, since I just type flat out as a rule, but I just took a moment between cases to play a bit of word puzzle on my phone. That seemed to solve the problem.

Of course, tomorrow there’ll be a brief intermission from the working to pick up groceries and put some stuff away. So long as I get the fridge and freezer stuff in straight away, I can just space out unloading the rest as part of regular breaks. I mean, not much of a break, doing all the arranging and stuff, but at least it’s changing positions now and then. That helps.

My Saturdays are free for the next few weeks as we’re missing a player on the Saturday shenanigans - unlike Sundays, we can’t really manage when we’re even one player down, since the Saturday group is so small. (Though I happened to mention the Saturday group in passing during our last Sunday game and one of my players went, “I might want to be in on that...” - which is nice because that was said by one of the quiet ones that my imposter syndrome always says isn’t having fun, so that anxiety is eased.) Anyway, this means that I can do cookery, hopefully take some photos of how well my oregano is bouncing back from winter (and maybe repot some of my flowers in their planned new home in boxes on the balcony), and curl up in front of the TV and fall asleep in front of Korean horror. I haven’t done that in awhile, and I just picked up A Tale of Two Sisters on DVD, so...

I just have to get through Friday first.

#Thess cooks

[snowdice]

Creased Hoodies (Chapter 6: Childhood Trauma on a First Date) [Folds in Time Universe]

Fandom: Sander Sides

Relationships: Logan/Virgil, Janus/Patton (background), Remus & Roman  (background)

Characters:

Main: Logan, Virgil

Appear: Patton, Roman

Mentioned: Janus, Remus

Summary: Virgil just wanted to go on his planned summer research trip to do an anthropological study in 2005 America. However, when he is taken off course by an unknown enemy, he ends up stranded in the summer of 2018 with no way to get back the the 44rd century. Luckily, 2018 happens to be where a certain illegal time agency is based, and he might have an in with one of its agents.

This is the intermission for the story Folds in Paper. It takes place between Folds in Paper Book 1 and Book 2. It also takes place after the first 5 chapter of “Messages for a Hacker” which are side stories in the universe. Check all of this and more out on my Folds in Time Master Post.

Chapter Summary: Logan and Virgil are not morning people. Patton and Roman are.

Notes: Time travel AU

This is a fic I’ve been writing on study breaks that you have probably all already seen at this point. I’ve slightly edited it for wording and grammar, but not for content from my previous posts. Feel free to send in asks to direct it because I’m not 100% sure where this is going and you can help decide if you feel so inclined! You can see the process I went through to build this at this link.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

They arrived at the coffee shop after a short walk. It was a cute little location with very early 21st century décor. There were falling apart board games on a bookshelf and a few magazines left on the table in front of an older looking couch. The lights were slightly dimmer than most places would have them, making how close one sat to the window important to getting the lighting one wanted. There were also fairy lights and little signs with inspirational quotes sitting on every free shelf.

Logan ordered a coffee from the barista with a few extra expresso shots. It was… probably more caffeine than a man who was banned from caffeine should have, but honestly, who was Virgil to judge? Virgil ended up ordering the same thing (minus the expresso shots). Then, they ordered a couple of pastries to eat, which Virgil could already tell were way too sweet for breakfast. Oh, 21st century America, Virgil thought to himself with a smile.

Logan seemed to catch the smile. He raised an eyebrow and cocked his head. Virgil shook his head. “It’s nothing,” he said. Just casually judging your entire time and country.

Logan didn’t question him more, getting distracted as his phone chimed with a text. He probably didn’t notice the fond smile on his own face that he sent the phone as he typed and answer. “I told them I’m showing you the town a bit,” he informed Virgil. “Which is not technically a lie.”

“Not, technically, no,” Virgil replied, as Logan led him over to one of the tables to sit while they waited for their drinks. Virgil reached forward and grabbed a cinnamon roll. He took a dubious bite and grimaced slightly. It was about what he’d expected.

“What?” Logan asked.

“Oh,” Virgil said. “It’s just that your time has a thing for artificial sweeteners.” He kept his voice down despite being in a far back corner with no one near them.

“My apologies, would you like something else?” Logan asked.

Virgil waved him off. “I’ll acclimate. If I could get used to the 1950s, post war, society-is-getting-used-to-instant-gelatin recipes during my post-doc, I can figure out how to stomach an overly sweet pastry or two.

“You spent time in the 1950s?” Logan asked, doing that thing where he cocked his head slightly to the left again.

“Mmm, not my favorite, but the direct results of World War II are important to study.”

“You spent your time in the United States?” he asked.

“For a bit, but I hopped around a lot and also went to the 60s and 70s. I was basically tracing the evolution of different social issues in the wake of World War II for both the Axis and Allied Powers.”

“An interesting topic,” Logan replied. “I imagine even in the 21st century, I would not have a fully unbiased perspective, especially when it comes to different countries.”

“Oh, you definitely don’t,” Virgil confirmed.

“Perhaps I’ll take a look at your work from then sometime,” he suggested.

“Oh, uh,” Virgil said, and he really shouldn’t be flustered about that. He’s gone to conferences and presented his work before. “Yeah, if you want. It’s a bit older and from when I was less experienced, but I mean…”

“I’m sure it’s still exceptional.”

Virgil was saved from the mortifying ordeal of responding to that by the barista calling their names to say their drinks were done. Logan got up to grab them. Get it together, Virgil, he begged himself while shoving another too sweet piece of pastry into his mouth.

Logan set the coffees down on the table in front of them and Virgil took his with a closed mouth smile of thanks, while still chewing on his cinnamon roll.

“So,” Logan began. “More than just escaping the disaster breakfast my roommates had in mind, I would like to perhaps return to the location you arrived at and see if there is anything there that wasn’t picked up on my devices from home. Would you be able to find the location if I get you in the general vicinity of where the farmer’s market was?”

“I don’t always have the best memory,” Virgil said, “but I’ve had a deep-seated fear of being kidnapped since I was a small child, so I could probably lead you there blindfolded.”

“Ah.”

“My mom let me watch a horror movie when I was too young,” Virgil tried to explain the odd statement he’d just made, but even as he spoke he was certain he was making it worse. “It was about a boy my age being kidnapped and taken to the middle of a desert to be hunted like an animal. He had no idea what direction home was and didn’t know where to go. After watching it, I used to spend any ride in any vehicle trying to memorize the path we took with my eyes closed.”

“I see.”

“And, I’m really oversharing for having met you in person less than 24 hours ago, aren’t I?”

Logan’s eyebrows crinkled. “Are you?” he asked.

“Uh, yeah, I think so.” Virgil said. “Traumatic childhood memories might be a bit much for the first… friendly coffee… get together.”

“I have never been the best at being aware of social norms,” Logan said. “Would you like me to share an uncomfortable childhood memory with you in return?”

“I,” Virgil said. “Can’t tell if you’re joking.”

“I am a bit,” Logan said with a small smile, “but if it would make you feel more comfortable, I am willing to do so. We might not have known each other in person for very long, but we aren’t exactly strangers.”

And that was true. Lo had been emailing him for months at this point. They’d argued about the correct order to watch a television show in, they’d watched videos together with Lo logging onto Virgil’s desktop (promising not to dive into his search history and private files), and Lo had somehow attended all of his publicly streamed lectures without getting caught by the university’s firewall. He’d even managed to make Virgil feel better when he’d had one of his bad days by ranting for hours about airplanes.

He hadn’t known Logan’s face for very long, but they still did know each other.

“I got distracted on a fieldtrip once,” Logan said, and, oops, Virgil had taken too long to say, ‘you don’t have to be emotionally vulnerable in a coffee shop to make me feel better’ and now it was too late.

“Somehow, despite the fact that my teacher really should have been taking attendance before allowing the bus to leave the orchard we were visiting, they managed to overlook my absence. I had no friends in the class, and I was so quiet at that age no one noticed me not being there. I couldn’t find my way back to the entrance or find any workers. No one was aware I was gone until my parents came to pick me up and no one could find me. My parents were very unhappy with the teacher even after managing to find me. That experience, along with others in my formative years gave me a dislike of being ignored, which combined with my innate desire to have time alone has made friendships difficult to sustain.”

“Oh,” Virgil said, unsure how to respond. “Er, well, that sucks.” He winced at his own awkwardness.

“Luckily, Patton is hyperempathetic and Roman cannot be removed from a person he deems his friend with a crowbar,” he said, “which helped me as a child once I met them. As an adult, I am aware of my shortcomings in that regard and am able to work through any issues I’m having with logic most of the time.”

“What do you think about someone who is so anxious he can’t ignore anything, especially a person?”

“I think that would be someone worth knowing,” Logan said. He paused. “Though I would not wish social anxiety onto a person, to be clear.”

“Thanks for the clarification,” said Virgil, amused.

They lapsed into silence for a few minutes then. It was still a bit awkward but not completely uncomfortable.

Logan took a bite of his pastry and spoke once he’d swallowed it. “Tell me more about what your plans were with your research before they were disrupted,” he requested, breaking the silence. “Why 2005 in particular? What had you planned to do? How long were you going to stay?”

Virgil smiled and drank his coffee as he did a short rundown of what his plans had been before they were interrupted by time travel shenanigans.

Logan listened careful and even though it sucked that Virgil had been stranded in a time he hadn’t even meant to visit, he wasn’t all too upset about it for a moment.

Want to read more? Click below!

Folds in Time Universe Master Post

My Main Masterpost

#sanders sides #virgil sanders #analogical #logan sanders #roman sanders #patton sanders #mentioned moceit #mentioned janus sanders #mentioned remus sanders #time travel au #folds in time universe #creased hoodies #adriana writes

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary54

11/4-5/2023

saturday - sunday

the anime con was fun/cute.

we got to see this fashion show thing they did there today, which was cute, some nice looking stuff, especially the things minori had, these really pretty and kind of extreme headdresses. extreme as in excessive, huge, a couple were reminiscent of like, margiela's doll clothes, where they're really oversized and strangely proportioned. we were there from like, 12 pm to 6:30-ish i guess. the dealer's hall was crazy, i saw this guy there who really disgusts me though, last year we went to two cons, and at the second, i went into the bathroom, and i let him in, we made eye contact, i was in the stall beside his, and i saw his shadow like, jerking, and the sound of skin on skin slapping. i guess he got really horny or something at that other con cuz they for some reason had an excess of hentai everywhere, i don't think that one is ever happening again, it was called shinecon, really awful honestly, i hated that. he's this furry with a yt channel, he sat by us during the cosplay contest panel, and this guy kept making barking noises, just as like, a thing he did cuz he was hyped, and the furry was like, mad, so he started barking back louder and with crazy eyes, and then turned his phone over to the guy as he barked at him, which put me in the middle of the camera, basically, i think. i'm at least in frame. i think i look very unhappy. after that we walked around, looked at some more stuff, my gf saw this guy she used to know who apparently talked all kinds of shit about her but he acted all nice to us today, weird stuff. oh the intermission for the cosplay contest was fun, this woman who was also a cosplay judge came out and rapped, and she had this song that was like, way sexual, and i saw the faces of some of the children in the audience, and they were like, whoa, i guess, really funny to me. we also saw neo-japonism live, they were really fun, good energy, the songs were like, fine, i also didn't know how to move myself for that kind of music/audience experience, i don't get it sort of, with music i would really just like to move my body with the music/interpret that way, but idol stuff is sort of like you are very explicitly trying to feed the performance and kind of amp it up by moving along with it, like a big feedback loop, which i like, but i dunno, it's a big feedback loop but not a chaotic feedback loop, which is how i like to think of stuff. dance music, for instance, asks you to interpret it and move along, even doing things like voguing is a process of reusing signs intuitively, performative yeah (all dancing that isn't seizure-esque basically is) but moving within confines of the social to reach at something else is interesting, mobilizing oneself towards the excessive/getting into a rhythm enough to shed the expected and shock yourself/let yourself be shocked by the music, hear things that aren't fully there, nested rhythms, absorbing the posture of the mix, that kind of thing. anyways, this isn't to say the idol stuff is worse, i just don't understand how to do it or be involved at the level i saw people in there were. it was crazy having these idols look at me, make eye contact, not in a momentary way where like, a guitarist looks at you for a second, but sustained eye contact, smiling and gesturing, asking something of you, and i guess for me feeling like they gave up a bit because i wasn't entirely sure what to do beyond move this little fan i got around, back and forth or up and down.

but all this going out lately is really having negative effects on me, the trips to colorado, arizona, these larger gatherings with lots of people, it all really wigs me out, i've been getting worse hypochondria attacks and any time i'm itchy or my skin is irritated i am totally convinced i am catching fleas or bedbugs or something, and that i am contaminated and that i am going to take it home. i think my skin got irritated by something in my socks, leading to two rash-like things, but now even talking about it now, i am literally experiencing full body itching, and it was not here even 30 seconds ago. literally, sudden onset tingling on my body, like insects are crawling on me, i'm becoming really really unhappy because of this, i feel really bad but i don't enjoy all this right now, the socializing is getting to be too much i think and the added stress of all the nights i have had in arizona of little sleep i am still experiencing some kind of instability i dunno. i don't think i'm developing agoraphobia really but i am liking being outside less and less, and feel like being among a lot of people i am unsafe and that i'm going to bring something into my apartment that i don't want to.

anyway i did write some new lyrics for another song, hopefully i can get to this song on monday along w/ the new parts for the old one.

i wish i could stop being worried about having lice fleas or ticks or bedbugs or anything, literally i am so preoccupied rn my hair falls through my shirt's neck hole and touches my skin and i think it's something crawling on me, ughhhhhhhhh.

so obviously i need to sleep soon if not now so:

byebye!!!!!!!