#a life where we work out

[moonlightspencie]

a house up on a hill

Part 2 of ‘a life where we work out’

Pairing: Dean Winchester x fem!Reader/Dean Winchester x past!Reader

Word Count: 1.5k

(i forgot!! tw: non-graphic mentions of suicide)

—————————-> DEAN’S POV <- ——————————

I woke to the sound of a muffled voice calling my name.

The ground was much comfier than I remembered. It almost felt… Soft? I pushed my head back slowly, realizing that it was soft.

The voice called again, though this time it was much clearer.

I opened my eyes, slowly blinking until it all came into view. My heart stopped when I saw her looking at me. She sat next to me on the bed, a hand on my arm, smiling. She looked happy. Healthy.

“Hey, sleepyhead,” she said with a grin before she leaned down to kiss me.

Although, she came up confused when I didn’t react in time. She furrowed her brow, looking down at me.

“Too tired to even kiss your wife?”

My eyes widened, and suddenly I looked down at the hand against my bicep. She had a pretty little diamond ring on her finger.

“What—“

“How much did you drink last night?” she asked with a laugh. “I know you and Sam can get a little out of hand, but geez. How’s breakfast sound?”

“Yeah, okay,” I nodded, still in a haze.

I watched as she left the room, giving me one last confused smile before she did. I took in a deep breath. This had to be a dream. That was it.

I stumbled out of the unfamiliar bed that I somehow knew very well. I looked around the house. It was a little small, but so clearly a happy place to live that it practically slapped me in the face. I looked around the living room, quickly spotting a photo that was meant to be our wedding day. I set it back where I found it when she called my name.

I turned to see her leaving the kitchen with two bowls of some kind of scramble.

“Come on,” she said, tilting her head towards the front door.

I followed after her blindly, unable to keep my eyes off of her. She was so happy. She was practically glowing. I sat down on the front porch swing, accepting the bowl and another kiss. The porch wrapped around the house, and flowers lined all the windowsills. My attention was captured soon after by two cute kids on playing in the field down the hill. They couldn’t be more than three and four.

My brow furrowed as I glanced around at the open spaces around the house. Where were their parents?

“Jamie! Violet!” she called out to the boy and girl. “Come say ‘good morning’ to daddy!”

I sat in shock watching these two little people come running for me. They looked like us.

“Mornin’, daddy,” the little girl— Violet, said to me. “Lookit!”

She held up a bundle of wildflowers in her soft little fist. Her face lit up. My eyes, and her smile on one sweet, tiny face.

“Real pretty, baby,” Y/N said, looking at me funny when I didn’t reply to the little girl.

Meanwhile, I accepted a hug from a little boy who could’ve been my double at that age. Just without the scary parts. They all had a danger-free life. We did.

She told them to go clean up, but I could place her motives quickly.

“Did you do hard drugs last night, or something? What’s up with you?” she questioned, incredulous.

Her face dropped a little when she looked at me, quickly wiping tears from my face that I hadn’t realized were there in the first place.

“Baby?”

I cleared my throat. “I— I’m sorry. I just…”

I looked at her, not sure how to explain. Last I remember is that we had been broken up for several months. Seeing here now, mothering our children…

“Maybe my hormones are transferring,” she said with a little laugh, wiping the remaining tears.

I tilted my head in question.

She merely smiled. “I was gonna wait until my parents had the kiddos, but…”

She trailed off, the hand with the ring on it resting on her stomach suddenly.

“How’s baby number three sound?”

My eyes widened. “What? You’re pregnant?”

She nodded. “Yeah.”

“Oh—“ I started, kissing her on instinct before my words could get the better of me.

She laughed, pulling away a moment later.

“I know we said we weren’t sure about having another, but…”

“No!” I exclaimed. “No, this is— this is amazing. You’re amazing.”

“There’s my Dean,” she said softly, caressing my face. “I was worried about you this morning. You’re not being your usual self.”

“I just…” I sighed. “It’s hard to explain. Not important right now.”

She sighed. “It’s always important, babe. We talked about this: if you’re feeling bad, I’m here to talk it through with you.”

I watched her a moment, then nodded.

“We’ll talk later. Promise,” I said, still needing to figure out what kind of dream I was in.

“Okay,” she agreed with a nod, taking my hand and kissing my knuckles. “You know I love you?”

“I know. I— I love you more.”

She smiled again, leaning into me to finally eat her breakfast. I followed suit, at least letting myself enjoy this while I could. We were soon joined by two minis who insisted on cuddling, and I wasn’t going to deprive them of that.

Hours passed, and eventually her parents came. Her living parents just walked right in and took our kids for a night. And if felt good and safe to let them out of our sight. We didn’t have to worry.

I walked around our house as she took a shower, seeing that I’d missed several photos in our living room. Our kids as they grew up. Me, holding them as babies looking happier than I’d ever seen myself. Us. Her parents. My parents. Sam and Jess.

Wait. That felt eerily familiar. Why did that feel so familiar to see?

Well, that question left my brain temporarily when she walked in.

“Hey,” she called, dressed in nothing by my t-shirt.

I stared openly, unable to do anything but stare. She smirked.

“Don’t look at me like that,” she said, warning me. “It’s bedtime.”

I swallowed, still not quitting. “Right.”

She wet her lips, holding out a hand for me. I walked towards her like we were magnetic, immediately leaning in to kiss her. It’s like I couldn’t help myself. She was there. She was still in love with me. She was my wife and the mother of our kids. How could I stay away?

She must’ve shared parts of that sentiment by the way she dragged me into our bedroom, not even bothering to shut the door behind us.

I woke up the next morning to her curled into my side. Even in this perfect world, her hair still covered half her face in a mess when she slept. It was still the prettiest thing I’d ever see.

Unfortunately for me, memories started flooding back as I’d been asleep.

We had seen each other after the breakup. We even started on a hunt together. Going after a djinn.

I let myself watch her a while longer, knowing what I had to do to wake up in the real world.

My heart ached as I thought about it. I needed to wake up. I just didn’t want to. I wanted to see our kids grow up. I wanted to see our baby be born. I wanted to grow old with her. We were doing so well for ourselves here, in this life.

She woke up a few minutes later, giving me a soft smile, and brushing her fingers against the frown lines on my face.

“Always so grumpy when you wake up.”

I shook my head. “Not grumpy. Just thinking.”

“About what?”

“You. How much I love you and this life and our babies,” I said, not allowing the tears I felt to fall. “How much I missed you.”

She furrowed her brow. “Baby, we were only asleep for like seven hours.”

“Not what I mean. I just—“ I sighed. “None of this is…”

I stopped myself, realizing it was no use to try and convince her this wasn’t real. Why ruin the magic that was already slowly running dry?

“I just love you. So much,” I settled.

She kissed me. “Love you more.”

I smiled softly, kissing her one more time.

“I’ll be back soon, alright?” I lied, reluctantly climbing out of bed.

She nodded, watching me with adoring eyes as I left the room. I finally let those tears fall, finding the gun safe and pulling out my handgun. I walked out to the front porch, sitting on the swing again as I watched the blue sky come alive. It was peaceful. It was someplace I was determined to see again in my dreams when I left.

I took a deep breath, preparing myself for what came next.

And I pulled the trigger.

part 3 here ->

#dean winchester #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester x you #dean winchester fanfiction #dean winchester x female!reader #dean winchester fic #dean winchester fluff #dean winchester series #a life where we work out #supernatural #supernatural fanfic series #supernatural fanfiction

[allthetea]

the first tea that i'm going to spill starts with these infamous four words: so there's this guy.

let's call this guy aaron. aaron is a senior (i'm a freshman), and i really like him. i've been friends with his sister since seventh grade, but i didn't meet him until the end of eighth grade. i had to practice singing a solo for a chorus concert, and my chorus teacher asked me to go sing for her high school chorus first period. so i was terrified, as any eighth grader would be in this situation. i was sitting there talking to one of the only people i knew in the class, let's call her allie. remember her, because she'll be important later on. so i sang my solo, and i did pretty well. i was walking out, and aaron went out into the hallway to throw away his gum as i was leaving. he told me that i did really good, which meant a lot to 13-year-old me.

skip ahead to the weekend after, when we had our chorus show where i was singing my solo. i was rehearsing, and he came through the auditorium with one of his friends. they stopped and sat in the front row until i finished singing, then stood up and clapped and yelled and all the things. he was the one who started the standing ovation after i performed during the concert. he was also singing in it, and middle and high school had a song together. everyone was getting on stage, and he came up next to me and smiled, pointed at me, and just said "it's you." and i pointed back and did the same thing, and then we went on with the show.

that summer, i got snapchat. one day i was sitting there on my phone and i got a notification that aaron had added me. i added him back, and waited for him to snap first. he snapped me almost immediately, and we were sending full-face snaps back and forth and all this stuff. i ended up deleting my snap because it was taking up too much of my time, but he was in my chorus class at the beginning of this year.

we got closer through chorus, and ended up exchanging numbers because i challenged him to a game of cup pong. we never really texted much, but we did play games a few times.

later on, we went to a chorus audition together. it was me, him, four other girls, and two other guys. we were all hanging out together, and one of the girls happened to be allie. remember her? she admitted to all the girls that she's had a crush on aaron since third grade. we all encouraged her and told her she should shoot her shot, but she hasn't so far. so now, i can't tell any of these girls about the crush on aaron. me and aaron played imessage games together all day that day, plus we talked a lot on the bus.

nothing majorly important happened until about a week ago. we were in chorus together preparing for our big show, and he has a solo in it. he was singing his solo, and we locked eyes. we held eye contact through the entire song and the next two songs, until my friend started talking to me. later on, during baby it's cold outside, we started looking at each other again. we were singing, and the boys had the line "gosh your lips look delicious." when he sang that, he looked down at my lips and winked at me. we kinda flirted through the rest of the class until we had to leave.

nothing happened through the next couple of days, until thursday. chorus was optional unless you had to make up time, but we both just came because we wanted to. so it was the two of us in there, plus about four other people. we sat together and talked through the whole class. he told me how it's his last chorus class ever, and we talked about how much it sucks that his other solo for the concert got cut from the set. we walked up the steps together to go to third period, and he was singing this song. i asked him what the song was, and he told me. the song is "a life where we work out" by flatland cavalry, and he told me i should learn to play it on the violin. we kept talking until we got to third period.

last night, we had our chorus show. we flirted and talked before the show and during the intermission, and i got up the nerve to text him after. and now, it's been 17 hours and i haven't gotten a response.

mixed signals suck. boys, don't do this to a girl. please.

#love #romance #mixed signals #boys #basketball boys #music #flatland cavalry #a life where we work out #him #i love him #chorus #tea #drama

[youonlyzingonce]

Flatland Cavalry - A Life Where We Work Out Lyric Video

#you only zing once #zing #too the moon and back #forever and always #soulmate #i was worth it #we were worth it #you broke my soul #i hate that i still love you #you should be here #i wish things were different #things i wish i could change #i wish you were here #a life where we work out #Youtube

[ao3feeddestiel]

A Life Where We Work Out

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/kRQX4rt by Noxemma Dean stares up at the house on the hill. It feels familiar somehow, like he’s been there before even though he doesn’t recognize it. But Baby’s in the driveway and somehow, he knows that front porch wraps all the way around to a side entrance to the kitchen. Somehow, he knows there are flowerpots littering the bay window in the back that opens to beehives in the backyard. Somehow, he knows the yard has a hill that levels out into a beautiful field, perfect for kids to roll down and land laughing at the bottom. Step after step he climbs up the hill in a daze, half-remembered memories swirling in his brain. Memories that solidify with each step. OR Dean finds himself with everything he ever wants and tries to pretend it's not too good to be true. Words: 3984, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English Fandoms: Supernatural (TV 2005) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Categories: M/M Characters: Castiel (Supernatural), Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Jack Kline, Charlie Bradbury, Kevin Tran (Supernatural) Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Reality, dream reality, Kevin and Charlie are their kids in the dream reality, Domestic Fluff, Loss, dean wakes up, Dean Winchester Thinks Castiel is Dead, Jack is God, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, but I promise it does get better, Idiots in Love, Pining, Grief/Mourning, Sad with a Happy Ending, Castiel is Saved from the Empty (Supernatural), no beta we die like men read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/kRQX4rt

#IFTTT #A Life Where We Work Out #Noxemma

[astearisms]

fionna and cake drawings before and after watching the episodes so far. it’s nostalgic and somehow cathartic and poignant and relatable and—it just started

#i’m part of the demographic where i was a kid when adventure time started and now watching fionna and cake as an adult makes me emotional #because did they keep us in mind when writing fionna and her attitude towards life #the dissatisfaction #the hoping for something more #something more magical than this dreary life filled with working to live and living to work #it’s so reflective of how life feels for me and perhaps many of us #and also Simon’s episode was so sad but so well thought out #exploring his feelings after the events of the adventure time finale is something I’m glad we get to see #there were already so many layers to his character in AT but now it feels like we get to dive deeper #I also felt emotional hearing Rebecca Sugar singing and writing a song that encapsulates his feelings so well #😭 it’s been awhile seeing her work exist alongside these characters #and all of these emotions get stronger because I remember AT being the one to inspire me to be a storyboard artist #when I was younger I used to follow many of the board artists here in tumblr and would get so inspired by them #to create simple but powerful boards that can capture the feelings of characters so well #Rebecca Sugar’s songs for the AT characters inspired me so much too #I’m sorry this is long I’m just feeling so many things experiencing all of this again as an adult #my art #fanart #adventure time #fionna and cake #fionna the human #cake the cat #simon petrikov

[dweeeeeb]

Motivational Music in the Morning ... #FlatlandCavalry feat. #KaitlinButts, #ALifeWhereWeWorkOut ... From the Album #HumbleFolks [Official Audio Track] (2016) #MMitM1

#youtube #MMitM1 #Flatland Cavalry #Kaitlin Butts #A Life Where We Work Out #Humble Folks #Official #Audio Track #2016

[egophiliac]

I got a really tough question.

What’s your favorite Twst event of ALL TIME?

I like Harveston

this truly is the hardest question. :( but after much consideration, I think Endless Halloween Night wins out for me, because it's nonstop Characters Being Silly the whole way through. the whole thing is just lots of these little dorks having the most ridiculous interactions, which is always my favorite! and of course the big twist is SO delightfully stupid and doubles down SO hard that it becomes AMAZING and I 100% unironically adore it. AND it's Halloween! everyone is in their cute little costumes and having a spooky adventure! it's great!

however, I am ALSO a big fan of the Harveston event! how can I not be! everyone is wearing comfy winter outfits and getting along really weirdly well with Epel's grandma and he's getting a little worried about that! my terrible loud son sews a plush squirrel and then gives it a silly little nickname and refuses to leave it behind when it breaks! the ending shot with the sled! I LOVE IT.

obviously we need the best of both worlds now

#art #twisted wonderland #malleus in the background: RYUU } >:( #(this is an au where sebek wears his own halloween costume and isn't obsessively trying to match with malleus) #(unless malleus is also wearing a patchwork squirrel costume. hold on wait i should've drawn that instead) #my favorite is when people draw sebek's room and have risugurumi just hanging out on his desk or something #SHE GAVE HER LIFE FOR HIM #well she gave her leg or something anyway #it's been a while i forget #anyway endless halloween night also has my favorite cutscene #which is the five second long cutscene that is literally just floyd going OOH WHAT DOES THIS BUTTON DO and then a battle starts #thank you twst #i believe this is also when trey finds out that sebek's dad is a dentist and immediately makes it weird #while rook is just. dancing around and singing opera in the background. #'did...did he hit his head when we fell through the mirror?' 'no he's just like that' #i have to stop or i'm going to end up recounting the entire event #(sorry this took so long!) (i have been back in Deadline Hell) #(i didn't mean to actually answer this on halloween but it kind of worked out! HAPPY HALLOWEEEEEN)

[uncanny-tranny]

I think it would really benefit people to internalize that mental illnesses are often chronic and not acute. Some of us will never be able to jump the hurdle of managing illness, much less sustaining a sense of normalcy. Many of us will never "recover," will never manage symptoms, will never even come close to appearing normal - and this is for any condition, even the ones labeled as "simple" disorders or "easy-to-manage" disorders.

It isn't a failure if you cannot manage your symptoms. It isn't a moral failure, and you aren't an awful person. You are human. There's only so much you can do before recognizing that you cannot lift the world. Give yourself the space to be ill because, functionally, you are.

#mental health #mental health advocacy #like... anxiety and depression are often concieved of as simple and easy to manage... #...but that isn't the case for so many of us. anxiety and depression just have a lot more research invested into them... #...and while i wish this were the case for literally every other condition it does alter people's perception of you to some extent... #...so while this is NOT solely about anxiety or depression it includes us... #...my anxiety and depression and PTSD have *destroyed* my life. this is chronic and will probably be life-long... #...and that isn't my fault. i've done the fucking work but guess what? that doesn't account for the fact that I Am Just ILL #the least we can do for each other is to be compassionate #be compassionate to those who cannot heal. be compassionate to the people who can't manage their lives. this world is scary enough #recognize that management of symptoms is something not all of us can do - even IF their condition is labeled as 'easy to manage' #i allowed myself to feel angry that i can't heal 'normally' and that was unfair as fuck toward myself #and i NEED people to internalize this so that MAYBE this could help somebody else who is where i was #i NEED them to understand that it's okay that they are where they are - sometimes shit just doesn't turn out how you expect or want #don't beat yourself over you being a person. you are struggling enough. you deserve to rest. just rest please #and just... give yourself space

[stargirl230]

I’m so late to this but i started watching ofmd and jim has stolen my whole heart 🍊

(no reposts; reblogs appreciated)

#my art #artists on tumblr #art #fanart #digital art #ofmd #our flag means death #ofmd jim #jim jimenez #vico ortiz #jim can stab me actually #i know the jim/oranges art has been done a billion times but that's because it's a lovely take so here's mine #this was overall a super fun piece to work on #especially during finals week... #im actually insane for starting a painting during exams #but we don't talk about that #what we do talk about: this entire show oh my god #currently on s2 and the part where jim says life used to mean something??? and later when archie tells them it's just life?? #tore my bleeding heart out!!! peeled it like an orange! #there's also just so much unapologetic queer joy in this show and i love it

[moonlightspencie]

Struggling with the aftermath of a fall-out feels hopeless, especially when things seemed to just have run their course. Though, he was never one to let things go that easily.

click this link to check out the playlist!

Pairing: Dean Winchester x fem!Reader

Warnings: angst, break-ups, canon-typical violence, yearning (yes, that’s a warning)

what i wouldn’t do to forget

a house up on a hill

do you still hope?

—————

google form for taglists if you’d like to be added!

dean winchester taglist:

@deanwithscissors @hyunjaebaby @simp4olderm3n

#dean winchester #dean winchester series #dean winchester fanfiction #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester x you #dean winchester angst #dean winchester fluff #supernatural #a life where we work out

[iirulancorrino]

The Green brothers are doing effective altruism better than maybe 95% of people who identify online as effective altruists.

#I know it's cringe to be into vlogbrothers in 2024 but I'm incredibly impressed by JG's swerve into fighting global health inequities #and last week's news about their commitment to funding TB prevention was really cool #also I have a lot of respect for creators who seem able to continue to build online communities focused around optimism and trying #to do good in the world in a way that seems genuine--because I've realized how much intentional effort that must take #when social media writ large seems to skew towards either reactionaries or doom and gloom #VB was formed in an era where everyone had a lot more earnest hope in the potential of the internet and (with multiple evolutions) #they've kept going through a seismic change in the way we relate to social media and the creator economy. it's interesting #also I think it's interesting JG is doing his best work 10+ years out from his peak fame. life lesson there maybe

[icewindandboringhorror]

I know this is just a silly bad quality random screencap of a screencap that I found on facebook lol, BUT it's a succinct enough image to easily describe the concept in a quick/accessible way hopefully :

-

(and of course, feel free to elaborate in tags, etc.! (especially elaborating about other senses as well.. can you "hear" in your mind just as well as you can "see"? taste? etc.) It's an interesting topic to me, as someone who's like a 4.5 at MOST lol. I'm curious what option will be the most common :0c )

#tumblr polls #hrmm... a little poll perhaps.. about a subject I find interesting.. since this image came across my facebook today #still really not feeling that well. no longer shaking violently and such but I still feel weird and weak much more than usual #They did say my markers for like infection or inflammation were elevated but that they werent sure of the cause so hopefully #it's nothing too serious. they did also say a lot of different things can cause that thing to be higher than normal but didn't go into spec #fics of what. maybe some of them are relatively benign or something. I still havent felt much back to normal since #I got really sick that one time though. I feel fine on and off but then little bouts of feeling weird and sick happen. hrmmm #ANYWAY.. looking for small ways to be productive. such as little doodles on evil ipad or editing game videos #or posting polls or cat pictures or some other like not very labor intensive things #I WISH I COULD FOCUS on writing HHRGGhh... I need to finish my game.. it would be so freeing.. a project that's been looming #over my head for like 5 years even though througouht that 5yrs I've probably spent a total of 3 months working on it lo.. ANYWAY #I still partially really cannot beleive that people CAN see stuff in their heads. There's always part of me that's thinking like. well mayb #e everyone DOES see the same exact thing but we just describe/conceptualize it so differently that we think we're talking about #different things when we're really not. But I have been assured by people I've talked to about it that they can GENUINELY really see #stuff in their heads like as vivid as an actual picture in real life or something. And the other senses are neat too. Like for exmaple I #can hear in my head much better than I can see imagery. I still CANNOT hear vividly like as if I were listening to actual music out loud.. #but I think it's developed more than my sight. AND interesting how this varies the creative process. a friend I was talking to on the phone #said they write by literally just watching stuff play before them like a movie. where my process is COMPLETELY different. AND that affects #the content/what details we focus on as well as our individual styles of writing have differences that can be traced back to that.. hrmm

[decarbry]

#my hero academia #boku no hero academia #aizawa shouta #Aizawa fan art #eraserhead #so my favorite take on Aizawa's life post-UA is where he just. continues to spiral #after they graduate he continues to pull away from Hizashi and Nem until they hardly ever hear from him. it's like pulling teeth getting hi #on the phone and impossible to see in person. working himself to death in the underground hero world and making pennies #sometimes so deep in it that he has bouts of houselessness but refuses to ask anyone for help. for YEARS. #so when his friends finally pry themselves an opening they find him at rock bottom and are the only real reason he gets pulled out of it at #all to become the Aizawa we know in canon #he spends the next few years after leaving UA and prior to joining an agency as a self-described terrible friend and all he's good for is #being an underground hero so he runs himself down to do so #I love fics that focus on this era it's so good #they get Dark but that's how I like em #more of that please #and all of my Aizawa art adheres to this telling of his past #even in the Yabureme AU #(but not Immolation AU lmao)

[ganonfan1995]

Burnt out

#initially this was meant to be something else entirely #but i wasn't really liking how it was going so I scrapped the idea and opted out for something a bit more personal #ive been really suffering from burn out for the last few years and just barely keeping my head above water #there are times where i seriously feel like ive failed in every aspect of my career #like if i were good enough i wouldn't have burnt out #i love my job and i love my trade i love every skill ive gain up until this point #but its been hard not to take it personally when all the effort you've put into honing those skills #are abused or exploited #life is difficult enough already and and time is fleeting #taking time for yourself is above all the most important thing you can do to help your work flourish #taking a break isn't failure #its health #we aren't machines despite our industries treating us as such #just waiting and hoping that itll pay off #ive certainly learned my lesson #and im looking forward to brighter horizons #and healthier more respectful ones #ill be okay ive learned how to love my art in my personal time again #but i certainly need to let my mind rest and my body to recover #these tags are lengthy anyways #unionize and dont work for nothing from large companies #be gay do drugs love your friends make art for yourself too #my art #scuttles out of here #i hope these long ass images actually show up in full resolution #i did draw them fucking TOLL as hell

[orchid-n-petals]

So I've already shared parts of this on a discord server, but I have to scream about Ketheric Thorm on here as well. Obviously spoilers about the character under the cut! It's a long one.

The entirety of act 2 is about him, right? Jaheira, Shadowheart and numerous other NPCs shit on him for his fickle faith. First Selune, then Shar, then, as we meet him, Myrkul. You hear about his changes of faith on a whim, you hear that he's the person responsible for the shadow curse, he is painted as a villain, plain and simple.

You can figure it out pretty early on that Isobel was resurrected and that she is his daughter; the detail as well that he wants Isobel alive is so on the nose, it gives him away completely but there are still a few questions that remain unanswered, mainly about his faith.

And then you get to the mausoleum and the picture assembles; this entire tragedy, the death of hundreds if not thousands and the complete ruination of a landscape was all, ALL because you had this absolutely wrenched, heartbroken father who had lost everything and nobody answered his grief. He was left woefully alone, the Goddess whose daughter his daughter was involved with did nothing to save Isobel.

Imagine outliving your wife and your daughter. Imagine dedicating your life to fight the Lady of Loss, your Lady of Silver's enemy, and then be left so completely alone and in silence with your grief, with your loss. It's so, so poetic how and why he turned from Selune, and it's so understandable as well; he broke. His spirit completely broke. He couldn't deal with that void of having lost the only two important people in his life, seemingly undeservedly so. He was going mad with this and a lot of his ire was likely targeted at Aylin who, in his eye, represented Selune; she's literally her daughter, after all, and it was implied that even before the deaths of his family, he sort of saw Aylin courting Isobel as Selune taking his daughter from him, despite his service. This relationship was clearly not seen by him as a boon of "giving his daughter to the Moon-maiden".

His ways in the past clearly didn't spare him from tragedy and having to cope with it (which he clearly didn't, he snapped under the weight of his grief). He was clearly angry and unable to do anything, furious and helpless, which is a dangerous combination. A good part of his first change of heart must have been fuelled by a sense of revenge.

But then Shar didn't provide any balm to his aching heart either. If you read his letters in Grymforge and in act 2, he is so focused on enacting the will of Shar because he believes that healing lies in oblivion. Everything would be easier if he could just forget, if the damn world could just forget, if nothing was remembered because without Melodia and Isobel, nothing was worth remembering.

Then came Myrkul. Literally the only god who was not only able, but WILLING to give back his daughter to him. Imagine spending your all, EVERYTHING you have to serve two gods who would not give a single shit about the greatest suffering in your life. You were basically nothing, your loyalty didn't matter for shit, everything that was taken from you amounted to no recognition whatsoever: you should simply cope and seethe. Your grief will not simply go unanswered (which is not inherently antagonising) but ignored.

And then comes this supposedly evil entity who can alleviate your pain just like that, snap of a finger and it's a done deal.

I am so serious when I say that I believe Ketheric's main incentive was to extend Aylin's immortality to Isobel as well. You can read in her diary that she feels a taint after having came back, and there are things not even Selune can cleanse, but at this point, Ketheric doesn't care about Selune, vengeance is secondary if not tertiary, he's done that war during his Shar years and what did it give him? Literally nothing.

He doesn't even care about the fact that Isobel is still her cleric. He cares about the single most important fact: Isobel is back. Life is worth living again, there is something for him, and it was not Selune or Shar who gave it to him but Myrkul, and for this singular gift, he would raze the world for the Lord of Bones. Like people can clown on him for being disloyal but the man has the loyalty of a dog bonded to its owner.

He is powerful and is willing to go to insane lengths for crumbs. What is raising a single life for a god? Nothing. It has happened and it will happen again. But Ketheric will go to the ends of the earth to serve the single god who actually listened to him. The one god who didn't ignore him.

He knows that what he does is not the morally upright thing! He is so insanely self-aware that allying with Orin and Gortash and doing this entire plot with them only to then betray them is morally reprehensible at the best of times, he knows that people hate him, etc-etc. He was a Selunite at one point and he's not stupid. He just doesn't care; it could be literal Asmodeus and he wouldn't care as long as he got what he wanted, no matter the price.

He is probably the only one from the three of the chosen who has complete clarity over his situation, he almost sways (if you pass the check during his confrontation), he is not an inherently evil man blinded by power.

But he is inherently loyal to those deserving, and as of the story's standing, completely broken by his grief. In his eyes, at this point, the only one deserving loyalty is the one who actually listened to him. Isobel lives. It doesn't matter that she hates him, that his entire life has fallen apart, that literally nothing else that is good has come of it, because Isobel lives.

I don't think he regrets a single thing. His consciousness might tear at him at the end, but I believe he would do everything over again, exactly as he did, because in the end, his daughter was brought back. Because what would a grieving, broken parent give to bring back their child? Everything. Absolutely everything. And it's such a simply given answer, no second thoughts, no doubts.

Nobody can tell me that this man is fickle. Nobody. This man was willing to burn the world to the ground, create a Boudica destruction layer all by himself for the one single thing he wanted. For any God that would listen.

I don't know, I just have a lot of thoughts about his character.

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #ketheric thorm #and I also have a lot of thoughts of how Aylin foils him #I fully believe that he was in the right in the capacity that he switched around his gods when he was literally ignored despite his life's #work. despite all that he has given. I think it's reasonable to expect in the world of gods who actively meddle in mortal affairs on their #whims and make shit worse that in just one single case they would. idk. NOT expect one of their devotees to remain blindly loyal to them #after their prayers go unanswered. like yes; go and try your luck elsewhere because this devotion of yours is clearly being taken for #granted. you get NOTHING out of your worship. you can't even sleep well because your loved ones are dead and you are expected to just what? #deal with it on your own? and remain loyal? why? #some sense of 'honour'? #I really like this depiction of faith actually. I really like when clerics and paladins are given agency and critical thought that hey! #this is actually giving me nothing despite me dedicating my entire life to it! and I have only one of it so why not take it somewhere where #it's actually valued. you know. as a treat. #I *personally* much more prefer this depiction of a crisis of faith than what we got with Shadowheart or Lae'zel; their stories are very #interesting on their own but I think throwing yourself from one end to the other not because you actually have a goal that it could serve #but because you are desperate for a purpose #is a slightly less potent character narrative than having an actual goal yourself. not by much but by a little. #again #PERSONALLY

[blueskittlesart]

cold fruit in a hot kitchen (so i had this great watermelon last weekend)

#so I had this great watermelon last weekend. and the thing is it probably wasn't even that great of a watermelon #but I was four hours into an eight hour shift and we had thrown out all the watermelon salad because no one was eating it #and then our manager ran in and yelled that the client really fucking wanted watermelon salad. #so like six of us servers started frantically chopping watermelon. and the kitchen got really hot #in the way it does when everyone inside it is really stressed because there's no fucking watermelon salad #and after we chopped all the watermelon and the client got their fucking watermelon we all had a moment #where we looked at the remaining watermelon and we were so hot and cocktail hour was almost over anyway and the salads were all plated #and we all went for the watermelon and we ate it with the kind of rabid intensity you only get while eating cold watermelon in a hot kitche #and it was the best watermelon I have ever tasted and several days later i am still chasing the high of that fucking watermelon #and the thing is i know it isn't even the watermelon i'm actually missing #it's the feeling of cool liquid on hot skin and the feeling of a crisis averted and the feeling of camaraderie #that comes with devouring a watermelon in a hot kitchen with six other people who you have nothing in common with except that watermelon. #i don't dream of labor but i am dreaming now of being 4 hours into an eight hour shift eating watermelon in a hot kitchen. #i dream of laughing around the cold fruit in my mouth. I crave that watermelon like i'll die without it. #< honest to god this is real and that watermelon left such an impact on me that i had to draw it and write this. having a normal one #maybe this is insane but working in a team of people you truly like to do something you actually enjoy is so underrated #if only they fucking paid me i could work as a server for the rest of my life. unironically #skribbles