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books-and-dragons · 3 years

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pegoryu (pre-established) post-interrogation hurt/comfort fic. has mentions of nightmares, trauma, and implied physical assault. unedited and for that i big apologise in advance

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okay!!! so this fic has been sitting in my drafts for months (lol what else is knew i know, shush i’m getting to the point) and i was supposed to post it on ao3 at the same time as i did a couple of others, however never got around to it bc it needed editing and im too lazy for that

likelihood is, i will edit and post to ao3 at some point, but it needs some BIG rennovations and i just can’t be arsed atm

so yeah, apologies for the shoddy writing in advance xoxo

but for now, i wanted to post it on here. today. as a sign of goodwill for the year to come. (ie. i own p5r, still havent played it, need to play it, and hope posting this will kick me into gear)

so, hope you enjoy!! and lmao if not it’ll just get buried as i start to revive this blog so,...win win?

In the first few nights since the interrogation, Ryuji stayed awake, listening to the fragile shudders of Akira’s breath in the night. So sensitive to every breath of air restricted by broken ribs, Ryuji hadn’t needed to look across the room, to gaze at the beaten figure on the bed, to know how his face was contorted in pain- unmasked in sleep.

He refused to so much as close his eyes until Akira’s breathing levelled out, still shuddering and restricted by pain, but deep enough to assure him that Akira was asleep. Only then, Ryuji allowed himself to rest.

Nobody else stayed the night. They lingered until the last train, crowded around the attic bedroom, gaze worriedly resting on Akira until the final second, where they’d leave with the accompanying chime of Leblanc’s door closing. But not Ryuji.

Ryuji, who had refused to leave Akira’s side since the moment he’d returned to their arms, beaten and drugged up, hardly coherent, but so relievingly and perfectly alive.

Akira hadn’t been alone since, Ryuji ensured that much. Torn over so much as going across the road for a bath, he couldn’t leave the other boy alone- something pulled at him to never let that happen, a pit of fear in the bottom of his stomach that pulled at his every nerve.

Maybe it had something to do with the nightmares, the visions of Akira lying broken on cold tile, at the mercilessly unrelenting hands of the police, the images of Akira lying dead, blood pooling from his head, the way the images seemed to haunt him even when awake- but there was no point reading into it. It wasn’t important, especially not now.

What mattered was that when he woke up, breath haggard and skin shining with sweat under the light of outdoor streetlamps, Akira never woke. Wasn’t even perturbed.

Ryuji tried to be thankful for it, tried not to think about why Akira was suddenly such a deep sleeper. Ignored the puncture wounds on his neck, the bottle of painkillers by his bedside. Akira was resting, and that was enough.

Even if it didn’t make sense that, when morning rose, the dark circles under Akira’s eyes had grown. That he tried to muffle pained yawns behind bandaged hands, and begged for more coffee- even though Takemi had put him on a temporary ban.

Because Ryuji had seen him sleeping, watched the rise and fall of his chest as Ryuji reminded himself that Akira was alive and safe, it was the sight that lulled him back to sleep from a nightmare. So why did Akira always look so tired?

He tried not to let his growing concern show, there was already so much to be worried about, he didn’t want to add another. Especially not when it could be nothing but his own annoying thoughts.

It wasn’t until the next night, after a particularly painful and thorough visit from Takemi earlier that day, that Ryuji started to reconsider.

Blearily opening his eyes to the dark lighting of the attic, Ryuji didn’t need a clock to know it was well into the middle of the night, and that he’d been woken up from his sleep, again.

But it was weird. There was none of the usual constricting fear, the blind panic- he’d hardly even started seeing the figure of a beaten Akira surrounded by shadow, let alone begun imagining the worst.

About to blame it on the lumpy and painful springs of the couch and try to fall back asleep, Ryuji caught it. Quiet, as if muffled by something, but just loud enough to penetrate through the silence in the attic and reach Ryuji: crying.

No. Not crying.

Sobbing.

Ice burning in his stomach, he carefully lifted the blanket and rose, wary of creaking springs and the sound of rustling fabric, towards the shaking figure on the bed.

His voice was barely above a whisper, carrying clearly and softly through the silence as he carefully extended an arm, not touching, only hovering, “Akira?”

The responding flinch broke Ryuji’s heart all the more, as a head rose from under the covers, bloodshot eyes wide and darting around the room in panic, hair wildly askew.

Moving as slowly as he dared, Ryuji sat at the side of the bed, “Hey, it’s okay, it’s only me.”

As the mattress shifted under him, Akira froze. Muscles tight and unyielding, back as ramrod straight as his broken ribs would allow, the entire body braced for something Ryuji didn’t even want to think about. His gaze was distant, somewhere far away from Leblanc, from the blond sat right beside him.

It reminded Ryuji of his Ma, in the months after the divorce. Curled up together on the dingy bed, they’d cling to each other so tight even in sleep, waking up in the morning sweaty and sometimes a little uncomfortable, never minding because they woke feeling completely safe. But there were the nights when his Ma’s screams would wake him in the early hours, recoiling and shaking even in her sleep. Ryuji would sit upright and watch over her until sunrise, would try to pull her from the memories he knew haunted her. Haunted them both.

Looking at Akira, the striking familiarity of the situation made him want to hurl.

He didn’t move, no matter how strong the urge was to reach out and console his hurting best friend. Instead, he kept his voice quiet, just audible above the laboured sobs, and waited.

“You’re okay, Akira. You’re safe, I’m not goin’ anywhere, alright? You’ve got me, it’s okay-”

Slowly, the frantic scanning of the room stopped. Staring at the artificial yellow light that bathed Leblanc’s street, following it into the shadows of the attic, where dark figures seemed to fade away. The flash of blond in his vision, perfectly still, aside from the hushed mutterings leaving chapped lips.

Akira focused on that sound. It felt safe.

As Ryuji uttered soft words of reassurance, he watched the tension slowly leave Akira’s body. Shoulders slightly slouched, jaw unclenched, his lip was bleeding- but he could worry about that later. All that mattered was the softening of Akira’s lines, as he slowly came back to Ryuji.

Delicately as he dared, he reached out. Hand brushing against bruised skin, careful not to as much as press on the marred areas. For a moment, there was no response. He waited, watching the panic continue to leave until, slightly trembling, Akira’s hand interlaced with his own.

“Ryuji?” The hazed look in his eyes was clearing, staring at Ryuji with a newly discovered relief, which was quickly overtaken by shame, “Shit- I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up, just go back to sleep I’m fine-”

“Hey no, no man it’s okay, really-” Feeling Akira begin to pull away, Ryuji let his thumb run over the back of his hand, determinedly meeting Akira’s gaze, “I don’t mind.”

Akira opened his mouth, ready to retort and insist, but found himself silenced by the look in the other boy’s eyes. Ryuji’s hand was warm, and for a moment Akira forgot there were even any injuries there at all, thumb tracing over them with such a delicate touch he hadn’t known the blond to have possessed.

Staring into Ryuji’s eyes, he wondered at how they were always so open and unguarded, never with anything to hide- a true reflection of his best friend, passionate and honest to a fault. It was something Akira had often envied, that ability to always be his true self, to freely display his emotions.

He almost took that back now, staring back into deep brown eyes. Eyes which so clearly reflected hurt and worry.

The raw concern so honestly displayed to him that, just in this moment, Akira decided he would allow himself to be vulnerable. Just this one time. Knowing that, as they had done for each other so many times before, Ryuji would never judge.

Hesitantly, Akira pulled his hand out of Ryuji’s and, ignoring the concerned look he got in return, allowed his hand to trace higher, around his forearm, pulling him closer with a silent plea.

As always, Ryuji understood.

Carefully reaching out, Ryuji wrapped his arms around Akira, pulling him to his chest. His touch is firm, but cautious of the bruising and bandages decorating Akira’s abdomen. Even then, careful as he was, the occasional shift sent twinges of pain up Akira’s spine. And yet, he found he didn’t mind- not when he was so surrounded by warmth and comfort and the steady beat of Ryuji’s heart just audible through his chest, that for a minute Akira feels like he can just forget-

Somehow, Ryuji shifts so they’re leaning against the back wall, Akira’s head resting high on Ryuji’s chest, ear pressed to his left side. Logically, Ryuji supposed now would be a good time to ask about what just happened, about the dark circles under Akira’s eyes and the fear still lingering when he caught sight of shadows in the room- but there would be other opportunities. When Akira wasn’t so damn exhausted and clinging to Ryuji like he’s the final lifeline holding Akira together. When neither of them would be waking up in the middle of the night, a frenzied mess, and worrying about suspicious strangers in public and carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders.

Yeah, there would be other times to talk. But for now, Ryuji would stay with Akira and listen as his breathing mellowed out into deep breaths, as his grip on the blond weakened and he cuddled closer still, lost to the throes of sleep.

Ryuji will stay with him until the sun rises.

Neither of them were plagued by nightmares for the rest of the night.

#persona 5 #p5 #fic #pegoryu #akira kusuru #ren amamiya #ryuji sakamoto #omg when was the last time i posted under these tags #i miss it #lol im sorry this fic is kinda rubbish but also i wanted to share it somewhere? since who knows when i'll edit it #(also lmao yeah rainbow is big influence and i now own p5r just gotta PLAY IT)#(but it's a slippery slope im scared i'll get hooked immediately? which is a dumb concern i know but IT WORRIES ME A LOT OKAY)#it's been years since i been deep in p5 #like #2 years #but still #much time #((edit: 2 seconds before posting i suddenly remember POSTING ANXIETY EXISTS OLD BUDDY OLD PAL shit it's been a while))#((what a throwback emotion))

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anonymous0writer · 4 years

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Not Together Anymore (Part 3)

This will be the last part of Not Together Anymore

Author: @anonymous0writer

Summary: The break up hurt. It hurt a lot. So why is he jumping in to save you?

Warnings: More angst. :) Self deprecating thoughts?? Swearing (the usual) And drumroll.... smutty flashbacks.

Tags: @lindzaylove @alwayshopelesss @styles-xoxo @lovelymaybankk @imagines-and-preferences1216 @rretrophilee @dpaccione @tangledinsparkles @theblankestofstares @heimdoodle @outofstyles13 @nostalthicc @tangledinsparkles @theblankestofstares @heimdoodle @outofstyles13 @teamnick @downbytheouterbanks @spookysquishsworld @fernweh-fangirl @ameeraaa21 @hellahollands @blueflame2778 @thrown-off-her-rhythm

A/N: I’m sorry if I didn’t tag everyone. It got complicated and it was hard to keep track of! And I’m sorry this was so delayed, I feel horrible!

Also, I know the writing is shitty!! I’m sorry.

(The passages in italics are flash backs.)

This: ~ means point of view change.

You scrubbed the counter, arms aching. You’d been working all day. Dealing with customers and fussy orders, busing tables, cleaning the counters, helping cooking. They needed a lot of help today, but didn’t have enough workers so you were running around trying to be two places at once. The Wreck was hella busy during the summer. Especially on Sundays in the afternoon. Something about Kooks and their massive lunches after days lounging by the pool and the golf course.

You stood straight, sighing. It was a long day. You’d been called in a couple hours earlier than when your actual shift started, and you’d been working overtime. But your boss promised to pay for the extra hours. You spotted another dirty spot on the counter, glaring at it. Shit, the counter kept getting dirty. You swear you just cleaned that spot. You heave a big sigh. God, you haven’t been this tired since..

You moaned, tilting your head to the side so he had more access. You knew no amount of makeup or turtlenecks would cover the hickeys over your body the next morning. He loved putting them on you and he loved you fussing over the marks. He loved when you got flustered when trying to explain why there was a hickey on your stomach, on the hem line of your bikini bottoms. That was hard to excuse for. In fact, Kie rolled her eyes and Pope muttered that he didn’t want to know and John B. told your boyfriend how kinky and weird he was.

But you loved it. Your eyes fluttered closed, as JJ pressed open mouth kisses to the sensitive spot on your neck, adding to the ever growing collection of hickeys. You were seated on his lap, his hands gripped your hips and your legs straddling him. An ache grew between your legs, causing you to move them slowly against his groin. JJ grunted, stopping his assault on your neck.

His lust blown blue eyes peered up at you. You eased off the grinding, making your boyfriend make a sad face. He re situated you so you were seated on his thigh. You knew what he wanted, so you rode harder on his thigh, needing friction. JJ’s fingertips tugged at the bottom of your shirt, asking to take it off. You raised your arms, allowing him to slid the material off, fingers darting straight for the clasp of your bra. It fell away, revealing a small peek of your breasts. JJ threw the material to the floor, and started to worship your breasts. Kissing them, sucking on them. Anything had you moaning a little louder and then riding a little harder. He loved making you beg for it.

And soon enough, you did. You pressed your lips to his cheek, “JJ, please?”

His mouth had stopped on your chest, and his hands had started to rub between your thighs. You bit back a moan. “What baby?”

“I need you,” You whispered, cupping his face and looking into his eyes. You could tell he wanted release as much as you. “Show me how much you love me.”

You knew that’d make him fuck you, so you said it. JJ flipped you over, pressing you against the bed. He met your mouth, hungry and desperate. It was hot and messy. You tangled your hands in his hair, wrapping your legs tightly over his waist. JJ pulled back,

“You won’t be able to walk tomorrow.”

You giggled, greedy for it. “Good,” You breathed, pulling him back down for another kiss.

You rubbed your eyes. God, you needed to stop this- whatever this was. Maybe it was a medical thing. Constantly reliving memories? Check. Can’t sleep? Check. Still in love with your ex? Check.

You checked the clock on the wall. You still had a few hours of work. You sighed, putting away the cleaning supplies and went to ask if the kitchen needed your help.

You step inside the room, the smells of fresh food ( and amazing food) filling your nose. You grin,

“Kie?” You call, watching as your curly haired best friend appears around one of stoves.

“Hey,”

“Need any help?” You ask.

Kie nods, “Actually, I have to go to the bathroom, wanna take over for me?”

“Sure.” You offer and take her spot stirring the soup.

After a minute, Kie comes back. “Y/N?” She calls, making you glance up from your pot of very good smelling soup. You put the ladle down.

“Yep?”

You walk over to her. Kie sighs and gestures to the main part of the Wreck. “You have someone here to see you.”

You frown. Who’s coming to see you? When your working?

I run my hands through my hair as she appears through the kitchen door. She stops, eye brows raising slightly. I swallow.

“JJ? What are you doing here?”

“I came to talk.” I answer, moving closer to the counter. Y/N nods slightly, taking a rag from under the counter. She starts to wipe down the counter.

I don’t really know what I’m supposed to say. That I’m sorry again? That I want to get another chance to love her?

“Y/N?” I ask, trying to get her to look at me.

She glances up. “JJ I’m at work,” She says, biting her lip.

“I know. But-” I sigh. God I don’t even know what to do.

She looks up and sighs. Her hands go to her waist, undoing the ties at her apron. She sets her things down and meets me on the other side of the counter. Walking past me, she takes my shirt in her hand and tugs me to the patio.

She looks up at me, her eyes bright.

“Where did we leave things yesterday?” I ask.

She opens her mouth and then shuts it. She doesn’t know what to say either. I watch as the fading light off the ocean lights up her face. Her eyelashes becoming pale, her eyes glowing. She looks perfect.

“What are we?” I ask again.

Y/N sighs. “I don’t know. I-” She gives up.

“I know what I did. And it hurt you- I know that. But I don’t want to let you go again.” I swallow the lump in my throat. “I don’t want to be just friends.”

You look up, searching his pale eyes. He’s never talked like this. Usually he knows what he wants to say, but he’s as clueless as you. JJ licks his lips nervously. I don’t want to be just friends.

You don’t either. So why is it so hard to just say that? Because you’re own fears and thoughts about his feelings towards you. Because you fear you aren’t good enough, and he’ll just leave you again.

“JJ,” You breath.

He takes in a shaky breath. He thinks your going to reject him.

“JJ,” You start over. “I want to go back. I do. But-” You take a deep breath. “You need to tell me what I did wrong- so I can fix it.”

His brows furrow. “What?” He doesn’t even register your earlier words. The boy in front of you stares at you, wide eyed.

“Y/N, what do you mean ‘what you did wrong’?” His words are almost forceful. And then he gets it. He knows that you blame yourself for at least a bit of the break up. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

You look down at your feet. It’s going to take a long time before you believe that. He touches your shoulder, making you look up at the sudden contact.

“Baby, you didn’t do anything. It was all me.” His blue eyes are soft. You fall for them like you used to. God, his eyes are your weakness. You give into them all the time. You try to hide your tears.

But JJ knows you too well. He pulls you close, and you bury your head in his chest. You cry. For all the hurt you’ve felt in the past month. And the horrible memory of him letting you go. And for all the thoughts of thinking it was your fault. You feel better now that he told you it was him, but the seed had already been planted. It’ll take a while before you fully believe him.

He rubs your back, hands making small circles into the tight muscles. He whispers reassurance into your hair, holding on tight. You sniffle and pull back to look at him. Because it he really wants you to feel better, he’ll kiss you. You stare at him with teary eyes.

JJ leans down slowly, allowing you time to pull away. But you don’t, instead meeting his fragile kiss. The kiss holds everything. Every word left unsaid. Every feeling that wasn’t expressed. Every doubt and regret. Most most importantly, it reveals the love still burning. The love that was never lost, just buried.

JJ’s hands reach up to cup your face gently and his thumbs wipe away the rest of your tears and you pull away. He smiles softly, and you return it, mind still reeling from the kiss.

“JJ, I never stopped loving you.” You whisper.

That makes him grin wildly, a smile of pure happiness etched into his features. His hands still cup your face and he leans his forehead on yours.

“Me neither.”

His words make your heart mend a little more. “Can we go back?” You ask softly. “I don’t want to let go of this.”

“I don’t either.” JJ presses another kiss to your lips, this one more confident than the last. “I never wanted to let you go, so if you let, I will never do it again.”

You laugh, desperately tugging away from the needy arms of your boyfriend. You sigh, giving up and looking him in the eye. His blue ones shine brightly.

“J, let me go.”

“No.” He answers simply, like a child. You roll your eyes.

“Why not?” You ask, knowing that John B.’s annoyed that your taking so long and Pope and Kie are rolling their eyes at JJ’s clinginess. He’d been like this for the past couple of days and it might’ve been cute the first day, but now it was just annoying everyone. Including you.

You looked at John B. “It’s alright, just go ahead without me. I’ll be there in a second.” When John gives you a skeptical look, you nod. “Promise. I’ll be right there.”

“Alright.” He says, and turns away, walking out of Chateau, Pope and Kie at his heels.

You turn back to the blonde and frown. “JJ? Please let me go?”

“I don’t want to,” He mutters as he presses another kiss to your neck.

“Why?” You repeat as you play with his hair. You sigh, frustrated. You want to go fishing with the crew, but JJ refuses. You have no idea why he’s been acting this way. “What’s wrong?”

“I hate letting you go.”

“JJ, I’m going fishing. I’ll be okay.” You were getting more annoyed the longer his arms stayed looped at your waist. You pushed one arm away. “Let me go.”

“No, because when you leave, and I have to work, he’s always there.” JJ finally lets you go, a half angry frown on his face. But you don’t leave, surprised and confused.

“What do you mean? Him? Who?”

“Will. He’s always fishing with you. Or surfing. And it’s only when I’m not there and all I hear when you come home is about Will. And I hate it.” He seethes. You blink, eyebrows raised.

This is about Will? You open your mouth to response, but JJ presses on. He stands, hands running angrily through his hair.

“I hate it because you’re probably gonna leave me for him. It’d make sense.”

“JJ!” You demand. “I’m not going to leave you! Plus,” you reply, standing up to meet him. “He’s always hitting on Kie. Trust me, J, Will doesn’t like me. Even if he did, I’d only want you.” You reach out to touch his cheek, his eyes landing on yours. “I love you, JJ.”

He sighs. “I know. I’m sorry baby.”

You shake your head, kissing him quickly. “It’s okay. But nothing’s happening. I promise, I only want you.”

He presses his lips to yours in an apology, and finally lets you go join the rest of the crew.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N.” He whispers softly, eyes sad.

“I know,” You reply, voice just as hushed.

You missed this. Missed the way he would laugh the loudest at your jokes and his eyes could crinkle and his head would tip back. Missed how his hand would find yours and fiddle with your fingers while you each did your own thing. Or how he’d come up behind you and wrap his arms around you waist and rested his chin on your head. Or how he always whispered “I love you” when he felt like it. Or when you were in the passenger side of the van, and JJ was driving, he’d put his hand on your thigh and his thumb would rub your skin. Or how he’d join you when you randomly sung songs. Or how safe you felt in his arms. Or how there was a perfect spot for you to rest your head on his chest. You missed the way his face would light up when he saw you and he’d pick you up and spin you around. Or how he’d try so hard to make you laugh or smile when you felt down. You also missed the different kisses he gave you. Lazy, half asleep kisses in the morning. Or late night, feverish kisses. Or desperate, needy ones he planted on your lips.

You just missed him.

And now, you had him back.

#obx #outer banks #outer banks imagine #obx netflix #jj #jj maybank #jj obx #jj outer banks #jj obx imagine #jj outer banks imagine #jj outerbanks imagine #jj maybank x reader #jj maybank x you #jj maybank x y/n #jj obx x reader #jj outer banks x reader #john b routledge #kiara carrera #pope heyward

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peeterparkr · 6 years

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Quiet thoughts.||t.h.

Hey! Hey! This is for @hollandroos Drabble challenge! ♥️

prompt: It hurts all the time- every second.

summary: after break up talk.

word count: 900

pairing: Tom x reader

warnings: I think a swear word, angsty (you know me)

masterlist

“The tears are here, where you belong,” You muttered almost inaudibly, after Tom had turned around. He took a deep breath as he stopped walking. “Why would you come here, Tom? I thought you never wanted to see me again.” You spoke up, as you caressed the t-shirt laying on your kitchen table.

“I thought we already had had this conversation.” Tom leaned against the counter, directing a glance your way. “Are we always going to have it?”

“I guess we will keep having it until we both say what we actually want to say.” You stood up and closed your sweater, playing with the sleeves. “Well, for instance you are here, why did you actually come? And don’t tell me it was to give me my t-shirt back, cut the bullshit.”

“I miss you,” he confessed. “It hurts all the time- every second.”

“You were the one to leave,” you reminded him, your voice cracking as you were speaking. You looked away, knowing that if you ever looked directly into his eyes, he’d melt you and end you completely. With a single glance, you’d be back on your feet.

“I never thought it’d be this hard,” he admitted. “I thought, hey, we already are apart, we never have time.”

“It’s different being apart than not being together,” you corrected him. “We should’ve known.”

“I should’ve known,” Tom took the blame. “Thought it would hurt less.”

“The days haven’t been good since you left,” you finally said what you had been trying to say. They were worthless, they were so bitter and fragile.

And the days without Tom really were nothing, you were breathless, they were nonsensical. As if you were playing the same sad song with bad tunes all over the place. Everything had turned gray.

You’d drown in sorrow, but he couldn’t know that. He couldn’t possibly know he had broken you.

“Would it hurt to have a second chance?” Tom asked you, reaching over for your hair. He was the worst enemy you could ask for, for he knew all your strengths and he knew how to use all the weaknesses.

“Tom, you’ll be gone by a week,” you said. “I can’t be in love with someone who won’t be here.”

“I’d give up everything for you,” Tom insisted.

“But I don’t want you to,” You lied. You finally looked him in the eyes, knowing your heart was trying to fall of your chest, knowing the pain inside was merely from your feelings. “You have a life ahead, and that’s why I never stopped you, that’s why I never fought for us.”

“I’d give everything up, just to have you, to have your arms, your lips, that kiss you invented every day, I want back the person who showed me how to love,” Tom whispered as he was lifting up your head, getting his head closer and closer.

“I’ve changed, Tom,” you defended yourself, as you were watching his lips.

“Your essence isn’t gone. Wanna bet?” He finally smiled, as his other hand had taken your waist. “I know you, y/n.”

“You don’t,” you insisted.

“You always sleep late,” he started. “You hate waking up early, but you really love watching the sunrise, I know you don’t understand soccer, but you like watching it in the World Cup, you always want to clean up everything but end up getting distracted with pictures around your house, I know you cry with every movie, I know you like lemon and honey with your tea and milk with your coffee, and that you love to watch cooking shows, but always get bummed when you try to cook anything yourself. I know you still know every single line to every single Disney movie and that you could recite them if you wanted to. I know you hide every time you’re hurt, because you like people to think you’re always fine.”

You listened to his words and turned away when he finished. He knew you, from your head to your toes. He knew both your body and soul, he knew beauty marks that no one had ever seen before, and skin that the sun had never touched. You felt naked, souls naked with him.

“You forgot something,” you whispered, looking down. He nudged you, trying to make you look back up at him. “I know you perfectly as well, Tom.”

“And that’s why, with my closed eyes I come back to you,” he confessed as he pressed a kiss to your forehead.

“To be frank, nobody thinks about you, Tom,” you rose your head, “and nobody will.”

He stayed quiet, trying to know where you were trying to go with your words.

“Nobody will ever,” You continued. “Think about you the way I do, and if you know me, you will know that nothing is easy with me.”

“And that’s why, I’m here,” he said. “Because I’m not easy either, if we both love each other, because I know you still do, and I know that I do… I just want to know, what am I to you? ”

You wanted to give him everything, your waist to hold, your lips to kiss, your soul to love you wanted to give him your perks and flaws, your sanity, your bones. Because he was everything you needed, he was your faith.

“Tom you’re…”you looked deep into his eyes. “You’re that goodbye that I’ll never be able to say.”

tag list @exoticeggos s @nextkaratekid @multifandom-fangirl4 @fortheloveofmcu @flashcal @iwillalwaysbevictorious @thekidsofneibolt @quicksoldier @totallyreadyforthis s @quacksonqueen @yoinksholland @lovelyh0lland @typicaltrashbagg @supernatural-trash-lover @assumeimapenguin @americaswritings @nano-hero @elentiya02 @its-livelovelife e @its-tchalla @butwhyduh @strangerthingsluv v @leena-xoxo @toms-darling @ivyohmy @greenarrowhead @softboyparkerr @tom-hollands-eyelash h @jtorressuck @clairesrainbow @misformarvel @desirableprey @fairydustparker @newlove-neweverything @spider-gwenscanary @underoosmarvel @patdandtop @its-the-unknownspideywrites s @savethebabyseals @hermionedeservesbetterthanron @quitetommy y @tomhaz @wronglanemendes @kaciidubs @itsvianny @marvelousxtsh @arya-di-angelo @petxrparks @jake-and-amy-are-married

#tom #tom holland x reader #tom holland x y/n #tom holland x you #tom hollsnd imagine #tom holland drabble #sophies drabble challenge #drabble #challenge #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland angst #tom holland fic #tom holland fluff

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serendipityswift · 6 years

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first impressions of songs on reputation

these will be my first impressions of songs, something that i can look back on to see if anything has changed and for me to rant about everything i’m thinking and feeling right now.

...ready for it? - i think this was when i realised how split the album was going to be like. it was going to be a fake, exaggerated version of what the media and people have portrayed her to be, as well as the reality of a young women being in love and happy. it is an incredible opener, and sets the tone for the truths to come.

|| favourite lyric: and he can be my jailor, burton to this taylor, every love i’ve known in comparison is a failure ||

end game - holy shit ed sheeran brb cry and die in a puddle of my tears bc sweeran is back. i honestly would not have liked this song as much if ed wasn’t on here, and future brings an edgier, a deeper layer to this song. i adore how ed referenced his relationship with cherry, and the entire song is a lyrical masterpiece. how far both of them have come since everything has changed brings tears to my eyes.

|| favourite lyric: reputation precedes me, they told me i’m crazy. i don’t love the drama, it loves me ||

there are so many to be honest there is no way i can choose just one, so i’m just going to say the entirety of taylor and ed’s verse

i did something bad - i love this song so much! it makes me feel somehow empowered in a way? the way taylor knows what she wants and deserves and is calling the guys that have wronged her out on their shit just makes me feel so happy and proud, as well as inspired to do the same. people deserve what they get in circumstances like this. and oh my god taylor swore, i never thought i’d be so impacted by someone swearing.

|| favourite lyrics: they’re burning all the witches, even if you aren’t one ||

don’t blame me - i love the slower, sultrier, almost bored yet seductive tone of her voice at the beginning. i can already tell this is the type of the song i can listen to time and time again. it has everything, catchy chorus, smart lyrics and gorgeous vocals. and the way she said daisy has me screaming. and damn, she is in some kind of intoxicating love.

|| favourite lyric: lord, save me, my drug is my baby i’ll be using for the rest of my life ||

delicate - this has to be one of my favourite songs on the album (but so is every other i suppose so i don’t know how much this statement says). this song perfectly embodies the uncertainties one goes through with beginning a relationship, particularly someone like taylor who has finally found someone uncaring of the bullshit written about her. the verses are confident and fun, typical of the infatuation you feel for someone. but the chorus is self-doubtful, vulnerable. taylor is questioning her actions and if she’s being too forward and if she’s making the right choice, even if she knows she likes him because love has broken on her before and she knows how fragile, delicate, it is. there can honestly be so much said about the multitude of layers in this song and really gives us an insight on what taylor feels when she meets someone new.

|| favourite lyric: my reputation’s never been worse so you must like me for me ||

look what you made me do - when i first heard this song i was screaming and crying because i was so damn excited, and i knew this was the perfect statement for the rest of the world to see what she was going to do. i loved how it wasn’t plain anger or saltiness, but had real depth and incredible lyrics. she wasn’t going to stand for being humiliated and blamed for other people’s mistakes and decisions, and this song is only the beginning of all the tea she could spill.

|| favourite lyrics: i don’t trust nobody and nobody trusts me, i’ll be the actress starring in your bad dreams ||

so it goes... - this song represents the beginning of a relationship, when you meet someone and something just clicks and you know it’s something special. i love how it’s so simple for some reason, taylor meets joe, they’re happy. they have some amazing sex. but it’s that simplicity that makes it honest, and she still needs to hide from the media. it’s sneaky kisses and the things that happens behind closed doors.

|| favourite lyric: gold cage, hostage to my feelings ||

gorgeous - this is truly the purest, most innocent and just adorable song on the album. it reminds me of starlight, or enchanted, or just a pure song of meeting someone and realising you no longer know how to form coherent thoughts because all you can think is how much you want them. it’s a nice refresher for the more intense songs on the album, but gorgeous itself is just as emotionally complex if you read into it. and using blake and ryan’s son to say gorgeous is just genius, and that ding makes me smile every time.

|| favourite lyrics: you make me so happy it turns back to sad, there’s nothing i hate more than what i can’t have ||

getaway car - i think from first listen, this is another of my favourite songs on the album. this is the most romantically heartbreaking song on the album. a getaway car can only end one way, a crash leaving both people gasping and dead. taylor ends the relationship because she knows it’s bound to end anyways. they were built to fall apart. the way she says dying honestly makes me cry. the desperation drips in her voice. even though she knows the relationship wouldn’t have lasted, ending it hurts all the same.

|| favourite lyric: it hit you like a shot, gunshot to the heart || this song is like a story, there is no way to choose one lyric because each can’t exist without the other and each and every word is perfect

king of my heart - this song starts with taylor accepting how she’ll always be alone, thinking she will never find love again. but then he shows up and suddenly the “love” she had known before isn’t even comparable to joe. she trusts him with everything, gives him her heart, body and soul. this song is a pure, beautiful, realisation of love. she finally finds something worth more than all the luxuries in life, someone that means more than anything money could ever buy.

|| favourite lyric: your love is a secret i’ve been hoping, dreaming, dying to keep ||

dancing with our hands tied - this song is having a beautiful relationship, dancing, being happy, but having that nagging thought at the back of your mind that it won’t work out. it’s holding her back, she’s dancing but her hands are tied, whether because of her own insecurities or outside influences. i love how relatable this is, sometimes we’re half in, half out of a relationship we should really just be fully committed in because they make us happy, but something is always holding us back.

|| favourite lyrics: i’d kiss you as the lights went out, swaying as the room burned down, i’d hold you as the water rushes in, if i could dance with you again ||

dress - i love how unapologetic she sings about sex. she’s 27 for gods sake, she should feel free to sing about whatever the hell she wants without people judging her. but despite being about sex, there’s love in this song, particularly the bridge and taylor captures that so perfectly. the sexual attraction is overwhelming, but so is the emotionally fulfillment the relationship brings.

|| favourite lyric: all of this silence and patience, pining and desperately waiting ||

this is why we can’t have nice things - i’m honestly so amazed at taylor’s ability to write the most cut-throat lyrics and sing them in the sweetest tone. the beginning of the song reminds of of a disney song, something sweet and fun, oh but honey you’re in for a ride. this entire song is sang in an almost joking manner, with even a tut in there, but the lyrics are all so revealing and true. i love it so much, taylor’s done with the lies and is here to write her own story. because guess what? they fucking asked for it when they fucked her over again and again.

|| favourite lyric: i took an axe to a mended fence ||

call it what you want - this was probably my favourite of the four initial singles released. i absolutely loved how well it narrated her life at that point. everything had crumbled on her, but there was just one thing keeping her grounded and making the toughest of times bright again. taylor is so damn in love and you can hear the joy and gratefulness in her writing, voice and melody.

|| favourite lyrics: and i know i make the same mistakes every time, bridges burn, i never learn, at least i did one thing right ||

new year’s day - this song is everything. it makes my heart flutter and my eyes water and just feel so warm and comforted inside. the piano is soft, complimenting her beautiful voice perfectly, allowing the emotions of the lyrics and her voice to just shine in the most wonderful way possible. how personal the song is makes it intimate, she’s singing for us and herself, no one else. it’s the perfect closing track. despite everything terrible that has happened to her, all the anger and vengeance, all that is left at the end is her happiness and love she feels for this incredible man. i’m so happy for her, and i want only the best for her and this love because this is the type of love that should thrive and blossom into the far future.

|| favourite lyric: hold on to the memories, they will hold on to you, and i will hold on to you ||

wow this has been a journey. it’s now past 3am and i’m not sure if any of my sentences make sense, i just wanted to get this down while it’s still fresh on my mind. i guess all there is to it is how proud i am of taylor, this album and everything she has been through and achieved because her strength is presented in every word she wrote and sang. each song is a masterpiece, and each sentence is a piece of this puzzle. it was important to pick one favourite lyric per song so i just chose the one that stood out the most while i was writing it, ask me again tomorrow and it would have probably changed.

@taylorswift, this album means so much to us as i’m sure it does to you. thank you for trusting us with this, it means the world, xoxo

#taylor swift #reputation #my posts

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artificialqueens · 7 years

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Discover Something Rare Ch. 7 (Rajila) - Juniper

Summary: Despite her family’s plans, Manila has never cared about romance. She meets a beautiful artist named Raja, and everything changes. 60’s Lesbian AU.

A/N: This one is a little on the NSFW side, friends. Take from that what you will. xoxo

“You shouldn’t be here.”

Manila’s breathing was ragged. She’d been running as fast as possible, heels in hand, and the cold air made her face sting. Her cheeks were red and splotchy and she didn’t look to have a lot of fight left in her. Her hair was littered with melting snowflakes.

“Raja, please,” she begged.

Raja looked worse for wear herself. Her hair was sticking up in places and her eyes were puffy. She was visibly uncomfortable and could only manage to shake her head in protest, though her face was filled with concern.

Manila swallowed and forced her way inside. She crossed her arms and stood in the center of the room. “Treat me as a customer, then. I paid you to make this dress, and it’s all ripped. How am I supposed to dance like this?”

It was only then that she saw the frayed fabric and small scrape on Manila’s thigh. She reached out to touch it, but her hand fell.

“What happened?”

She’d been much too overwhelmed to notice it herself, but now she was aware of the stinging from the dirty scratch. The memories flooded back and her body felt heavy. Manila wanted nothing more than to dive into Raja’s arms and cry. She craved those protective arms around her, shielding her from the outside world. Her throat burned and her nose ran; the last thing she wanted to do was talk. She sniffled miserably.

“Archie’s asked me to marry him.”

Raja turned her eyes to the ceiling to avoid eye contact. Her hands were shaking.

“Congratulations,” she whispered. “You’ll be very happy.”

“I said no, Raja.”

Raja took a beat and quickly shut the door. There was a stern look on her face.

“Why would you do that, you silly girl? He can be so good for you. I stepped aside so that you can have a secure life-“

“I didn’t ask you to!” Manila seethed. “Damn it, I don’t love him, Raja. I never will. You know that. I’m going to stand by what I really want.” She grabbed her hand, still trembling.

Their stare was intense, and ultimately, it was Raja that broke away.

“Get changed and hand me the dress. I’ll go try and salvage it in my room, you can wait in here.”

Manila sighed and complied. It was a start.

———————

Raja had handed her a nightgown to rest in while she worked in her bedroom, with the door closed.

Manila’s makeup had been ruined by tears and a dripping nose, so she opted for scrubbing off what was left of her face. Her eyes were still swollen, but she felt clean and calm.

Sitting patiently on the sofa, Manila tried to figure out where everything had gone wrong. She could point the blame at herself, or even at that idiotic boy, but really, it was just a lack of communication. It should have started with honesty about the dreams. There should have been permission given about Raja taking scissors to her hair. Archie, the note. Time after time, one thing was clear. They were both simultaneously reckless and lost in their own heads.

Games of “he said, she said” never ended well, Manila knew that much. Her fears were clouding her judgment, and she had spent so much time struggling over her feelings. Now, it seemed she wasn’t the only one.

The living room was decorated for the holidays, and she felt slightly bitter that she hadn’t been there to help Raja hang up lights and bake cookies, or even hand craft an ornament or two.

She wasn’t sure when Apartment #5 had started to feel more like a home than her parents’ house. The aroma was so comforting, the mess familiar. It was the place she most wanted to come to, to curl up on that couch and hear the beautiful symphony that flowed out every time Raja opened her mouth.

Truly, it was Raja, and she knew it. A house was just a place, a room, a thing. Her home was a pair of brown eyes.

And she’d come running every time, through snow and sunshine, no matter who tried to stop her.

A candle scented the air, and when she spotted it, her heart swelled. It was illuminating the canvas, and Manila saw the painting in its finished form for the first time.

Her fingers ran over it, every bump and streak, each shadow and gradient. It was a breathtaking representation, and Manila knew that must be how Raja saw her.

The girl in the picture was so happy, and she’d only ever been that overcome by the presence of one person. She had no tears left to cry. She was at peace.

Manila had spent 19 years feeling confused, but now she was confident.

——————–

Manila waited with baited breath as she finally heard the door creak open, and Raja slipped out, inspecting the dress.

“Well, it’s not perfect, but-“ she almost tripped over something, and looked down to the ground. Her eyes were glued to the culprit, and Manila could tell she was afraid to move.

She opened her mouth several times, but no sound came out.

“Look at me, Raja.”

She didn’t, opting instead for crouching on the floor. It was the nightgown, once neatly folded, now slightly disheveled. On top was a pretty, blue bra, adorned with silver swirls. She touched it like it may break, though it was Raja who looked fragile.

“Raja.”

She finally listened, looking up at her, all covered in white, like an angel.

Manila was wearing her coat, holding it close to her body, and not much else. Her thighs emerged from beneath the fur, glowing.

Raja left everything on the floor and approached her. They were close now, looking at each other intensely. There was no question about what Manila was trying to do.

“Don’t do this to me,” Raja begged. “I can’t take it.”

“I love you.”

Raja buried her face in her hands, sobbing loudly. Manila let her be for a moment, before bringing her arms down and holding them tightly. She smiled softly at her wet face, still sniffling.

“I’m not afraid,” she said. “Hey. Don’t be afraid.”

Raja rested her forehead against Manila’s, eyes shut tightly.

“What will they say?”

“I love you,” Manila repeated. “And all I care about is hearing you say it, too.”

“I starting loving you the day I met you,” Raja cried. “Seeing you twirl around in the sunset, I knew you were something special. Please don’t go away again. I’m sorry. For all of this.”

Manila had already forgiven her. There was nothing to be mad about; it was so selfless to try and give up the one you love for them to be happy. But Manila could make herself happy, and she chose to have Raja by her side for every smile.

Manila tilted her chin up and softly pressed her lips to Raja’s, and suddenly the world made sense. This was why couples shared milkshakes, gushed about each other, spent their whole lives together.

She broke the kiss and wiped Raja’s teary cheeks. They giggled, and held onto each other’s hands tightly.

“I think you’re beautiful,” Raja said, kissing both of Manila’s closed eyes, the tip of her nose, the beauty mark above her lip.

She stepped back, and pulled her coat open, letting it fall off her shoulders slightly, pulling it ever so slowly. Raja’s eyes were trained on her unclothed body; every curve, freckle, and hair receiving attention. Manila finally let it drop to the floor, goosebumps running all along her flesh.

Raja took one long step and kissed her again, the smile evident on both of their mouths. She gripped Manila’s small waist, and ran her hands up her ribs.

The chill had rendered her nipples taut, standing out so pink, almost aching. Raja nervously massaged her left breast, running her thumb over the skin.

Manila gasped shyly, everything so new.

“Is this okay?” Raja asked, still running her thumb in circles.

“Yes,” she breathed out. Her face was flushed, though she was close to shivering. “Take me. Take my body, I love you so much.”

Raja dropped to her knees, her nose grazing Manila’s bare stomach. She wasn’t as thin as her, not as experienced, and yet Raja still looked enamored. She sighed lovingly, and the air hit right between Manila’s thighs. She twitched.

Every action of Raja’s was slow and caring, she petted her legs, not minding the prickles of hair threatening to break through. Her lips pressed into her thigh, biting tenderly. She urged her to spread her feet apart, and she ran a long finger against her wet underwear.

It was kind, slow, and romantic, and every preconceived notion of quick, unpleasant sex melted away from Manila’s mind. This didn’t feel like a sin. Nothing was dirty or painful.

Raja hooked two fingers into either side of the waistband, and rolled down the panties slowly, and for the first time Manila saw just how soaked they were. She hadn’t anticipated the cold air against her, but it was quickly replaced by Raja’s tongue.

She moaned as she involuntarily bucked her hips forward. Her legs were bound at the knees by her underwear, and Raja held her steady. She tangled her fingers up in Raja’s hair, and allowed her eyes to close, seeing a million colors in the darkness.

Raja pressed sensitive kisses to her, running her tongue between her folds, flicking it up once she reached her clit. She dared to lick her dripping hole, relishing in her wetness, like Manila’s pussy was the sweetest thing she had ever tasted.

She brought a finger up, and tentatively slid inside of her, feeling her tense walls go pliant with trust. She was moving in and out rhythmically, little moans of encouragement coming from above. Her fingers curled, and she resumed teasing her clit with her heated tongue.

Manila’s thighs were trembling, and she was gasping loudly. There was no need for fantasy now, she was completely lost in the feeling. It crept up through her veins, twisting in her stomach, igniting her blood. Her head fell back with a broken sigh.

Raja removed her fingers and buried her face between her thighs again. Manila looked down and through hazy eyes, she could make out that Raja was playing with herself as well. The sight was powerful, and she never wanted to let it go.

“Manila,” she moaned against her, and they made brief eye contact before Manila was cumming all over Raja’s tongue.

Her knees buckled, and she all but collapsed to the floor, and into her arms. With Raja stroking her hair, Manila swiftly fell asleep.

#manila luzon #raja gemini #rajila #smut #au #discover something rare #juniper #rpdr fanfiction #submission #lesbian au #60s au

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aiyannasu-blog · 6 years

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Dramatic girls: stop harrassing me & stop stalking me.

Dear girls,

You all need to take responsibility for your own actions, no one can make anyone stop talking to you. You need to grow up and become a stronger woman that isn't about trying to say she said this and made this guy stop talking to me. If you're worthy or worth it no guys just going to stop talking to you. If the guy youre interested in cares about you nothing anyone says can make them stop talking to you. I’ve not made anyone “stop talking to anyone”, that is your own fault if you are lying to a guy and he happens to find out you're hiding things from him then of course he may not want to talk to you. You shouldn’t be talking about things that will upset a guy that likes you or might be interested in you. If its only going to push him away. If your relationship is that fragile to begin with its probably not going to work out.

I’m tired of girls trying to say I tried to make a guy break up with them. No guys that stupid. I’m not offering some guy anything like nudes or anything to them. I have my own boyfriend. Why would I want to hurt someone who randomly adds me to ask me to talk to their ex bf that theyre stalking who wants nothing to do with them and has blocked them. I dont gain anything from doing mean things to others. Why 1. hurt others 2. destroy the life or make someone hate someone or stop talking to someone I don’t even know and am barely friends with...?? please just grow up and get some therapy to get real help!

That has nothing to do with me. Especially if you’re not my friend I don’t owe you anything. I don’t need to help you with anything. I don’t need to help you talk with your ex boyfriend or get back with your ex boyfriend. I am nice and will console you but I also know if you’re friends with my friends that I’ve known at least more then a month I will talk to them and ask them about you and if your mental health is okay so that they can help you if you need the help. If you’re going to add me, just to ask me to talk to your ex don’t blame me for your problems. If you’re hung up on your ex move on, if you’re already talking to another guy but you’re giving me a sad story about the guy you miss then whose fault is that, It isn’t mine at all. It’s yours for not deciding to get over your ex or not taking the proper time to heal before talking or getting involved with another guy. If youre talking to a new guy that happens to be my friend too, ill probably be confused who youre and ask the only person we have in common why youre contacting me and if they know and can help you if theyve known you longer then me. I dont know if youre dating or what you both are talking about, all I know is some girl adding me to try to go through a block through her ex, its not unusal to ask a good friend questions or ask why "youre being crazy" and if its normal.

I literally don’t have any good friends and if you’re an immature girl telling people to un-add me you can do that, but I don’t even know anyone online, they are just random adds what does that achieve? It shows who you really are if you are trying to get back at me with revenge or hurt me by making some friend I barely know stop talking to me, whatever. I didnt and dont do things with ill will, im usually generally concerned if someones upset but I also dont want to be used. This is the reason no guys want to be with you if you’re devoting your life to hate and causing other people pain. I didn’t make anyone stop talking to you. That person made a choice and its their choice not mine. You need to not be in denial and accept it.

If he did stop talking to you, hes probably not interested in a little girl causing drama, hes probably not thinking you're attractive not physically, and also if you didn't know "there are other girls on the planet beside you", most of the time their are hotter girls. It’s so much easier to move on there are tons of woman in the world and men especially on the internet. So stop rude to me and move on... Stop trying to cause me problems with your craziness by asking people to un- add me because youre mad at problems that have nothing to do with me. If your’e immature its your mistake learn from it and grow up, and find a guy that actually wants to be with you. If you’re trying to talk to your ex while talking to another guy that is still cheating, and sneaking behind someones back. What guy wants to be with a girl that does that, he will most likely find it out anyway... especially in a gaming community, most people know each other. I can't help that if you live in another country and a guy you talked to for a week stops talking to you in a country that’s not yours, its normal for people to just up and not talk to you. It's called the internet. Even in real life it happens. Its not my fault if you didn’t say you had a boyfriend but you’re trying to talk to your ex and get back in contact with them and I have no idea that people even had a new boyfriend to begin with, why even ask me to talk to someone that blocked you if they don’t want to talk to you, you need to respect that and not add the people they add and follow them around stalking them. They don't even live by you, what type of relationship is that if you aren't even financially able to fly back and forth to one another? I know you can move to another country but still, a week isn't anything to be upset about it. Barely a few months of a relationship and you are adding my friends and your exes friends trying to cause drama with me and him, you don’t even know me. Its not worth being rude about.

I don’t want to be friends with dramatic girls so just leave me alone and go do something else with your life. Don’t blame me for your problems. I don’t own your problems. Im not respinsible for you. Im pretty sure I already apologized but if youre still adding my friends or your exes harrassing everyone well then youre being crazy and need to get professional help from a therapist.

xoxo,

♡🌸Aiyanna

¤━━━¤°¤━━━¤

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lisaslookbook-blog · 6 years

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Love island and mental health how are the two connected?

With millions watching Love island on a nightly basis its pretty easy to say its become huge phenomenon. If you haven't seen or heard of Love island ...... firstly where the hell have you been? and secondly you're seriously missing out! ....... The basic principles of Love island are you go in find love and win 50k at the end ..... reality? allot of bitching, backbiting and 'doing bits'.

So now if you didn't already know you now have the basics I can tell you the real reason for this post. Love island this year seems to be like the world cup......

1. Gets the the nation watching the same channel every time its on

2. Unites the nation on who's muggy and who's magic.

While these united fronts are all well and good the implications of the social media discussions surrounding certain islanders can have a greater affect on said individuals long after the show has ended. Though most commenting on the shows posts/individual islanders Instagrams and twitter others resort to 'Trolling' using social media to verbally abuse their victims. These comments to some may seem 'harmless' or 'its only a few not the mass' but these comments an have devastating consequences.

Recently Sophie Gradon a love island contestant from 2016 described her decision to be on Love island to be the worst decision she ever made, adding trolls had made her life hell during her final interview before ending her life. During the interview she goes on to openly describe how she battled with anxiety and depression. Describing some of the negative comments she received she explained "There would be so many negative comments. They are commenting on the way you look, the way you talk. They would come up with an opinion of you on a TV show after watching you for 45 minutes". Losing her battle to anxiety and depression at age 32 has Sophie's death been due to her mental illness or should the blame be placed upon those 'Trolls' who may have caused her illness to spiral?

Within British law there is a term deemed 'the egg shell rule' in which you take your victim as you find them. This term was developed surrounding a legal case where a victim died after receiving one punch to the skull causing sudden death. The defence tried to claim the punch for a healthy individual would not have caused death meaning the plaintive had no intent to cause death. However the court disagreed with this defence arguing that each individual should be taken as they are found. Therefore meaning if you punch an individual in the head with a fragile skull syndrome or another unknown physical condition resulting in death which would not occur if the individual was of standard health known to the assailant. This change in the law has helped to convict those causing murder recklessly without the need for intent. but lets look at this another way what about mental illness causing an individual to become fragile and likely to develop either suicidal thoughts or intentions leading to loss of life derived from 'Trolling' and mental abuse? Where is the protection?

The effects of trolling online seems to be constantly increasing, making me wonder where is the protection online for those vulnerable to its affects? Being a lover of all things fashion i follow many many many bloggers and Instagramers showcasing their style and individuality. Even those bloggers with millions of followers have some commenting on how skinny she looks or how much cellulite they have. We live in a world where we have more freedom than any of the generations before us so why do some take this freedom to go online and publicly try to devalue others?

The current season of love island which is air 5 nights a week on ITV 2 has already created highly differing views on some of the islanders. One in particular that has seen significant backlash has been islander Megan Barton-Hanson, receiving the new nickname 'Muggy Megan'. Many comments left on Instagram mainly surround her time in the villa, to which some don't make for light reading. This enough is cruel and unnecessary however some have gone on to insult her appearance. Megan reportedly has spent 25,000 on cosmetic surgery to change her appearance, which may suggest she had insecurities with her body pre-surgery. Although 'Trolls' online have taken time to dig up pictures of Megan pre-surgery some deeming her 'disgusting' and adding 'no wonder she got the work done'. Although Megan will currently have no contact with the outside world, when she leaves the island and enters back into the outside world these comments and posts could lead to another tragedy brought on my online users choosing to use their time to dissect the appearance of others.

When will their be the same protection and justice for those who lose their battle with mental illness due to online trolling?

Having grown up around family members suffering heavily with mental illness and battling depression myself i know the effects that just one negative incident can have, so the idea of these individuals receiving sometimes hundreds of negative and abusive comments daily scares me to think of how this may be affecting them.

This post may seem like one big rant but really what i'm trying to press is that as individuals we need to build each other up rather then pull others apart. The World Health Organisation found that currently around 450 million people are battling a mental illness; suggesting the chances of you either knowing someone with a mental illness or having one at some point throughout your lifetime are extremely high. Things need to change, and today is where we begin. Your friends, family, colleges may be fighting their own mental health battle so lets get talking. instead of asking how someone is and excepting the general " yeah i'm fine" lets really ask "Are you okay hun?". Yes that's right i said it 'Hun' this word has so many meanings when you're female especially in the time of memes and gifs. But lets change its meaning. Lets start open and frank conversations about our mental health!

Its time to talk, so i'm going to ask you now ...... Are you okay hun?

Lisa

xoxo

#lets talk #u ok hun?#love island #time to change #mental health

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