#i'm sure he felt that way

[kenobihater]

made a post a while back on how javert's suicide is often poorly portrayed in film adaptations to the point of accidental comedy, and how the 1978 movie in particular is the most unhinged example. audio warning for a loud trumpet blast, don't turn up your volume

#len's videos #inspector javert #javert #les mis #les miserables #les misérables #javert les mis #les mis 1978 #les miserables 1978 #les misérables 1978 #the trumpet blast as he does a flip... the way it just cuts to a cheery carriage ride... girl what were they ON in 1978 😭 #it's so tactless that it veers into absurdism for one of the most serious parts of the story #girl you KNOW your scene is bad when the dogshit bbc version is miles better! #at least i didn't laugh during that scene! that scene was the only bit of genuine emotion i felt besides rage for that whole miniseries! #i have yet to finish '78 LM and i'm sure it has it's redeeming qualities that i don't wanna dunk on! it's just this scene is utterly whack!

[lunarharp]

What led to this (orufrey comic, cw an uncomfortable/creepy scene)

#witch hat tag #orufrey #er.... i'm too tired to have anything to say..i worked several days on this. #wait.. didn't i say just recently here that i probably wouldn't ever depict 'what if alaira is qifrey's sort-of ex'. What's going on #i don't even remember deciding to draw this..it's all a blur..i'm not sure why i WOULD decide to draw delicate scenes in my head #that i wouldn't really want to share with anyone/discuss so why did i draw it... #some part of me really really wants to draw things that are more and more true to myself... #maybe because of my alienation with most romance/shipping/dynamics the rest of the world depicts. #orufrey really is perfectly suited to me - what i read in the text and what is in my head. well anyway #i am TIRED of drawing poses and angles and..maybe now i will actually take a break from drawing bc of the tediousness of Angles #btw it really is a 'stretch of time' . . . assuming witches graduate age 18-20 #well orufrey are canonically 30-ish. they've only had agott around for presumably about TWO years (?) bc she took the test age 10 #and it feels like oru moving in/unknown atelier acquisition/building (?) .. i guess that could be a year or so before agott at most #(she was the first disciple) so... ????????? What about the other 7 or so years ?!?!?!!?!?! Unemployed Brimhat Hatred era #that time is very nebulous. after qifrey went to the tower i feel like it's been implied he and oru drifted apart a little. #certainly they didn't live together at first... no way. that doesn't feel like how it is based on things oru has said about becoming Eye #idk. I'm tired now. i don't usually think of alaira as necessarily qifrey's ex and this being how things went in that 'sliver of time'. #i usually prefer the idea that they have their first kiss with each other in their 30s cause That's Just The Orufrey Lifestyle #just felt like making a more relatable alternative view of my own Cai Orufrey Canon one time. btw im a big monoshipper and it hurt a bit #let's leave it there. this is surely the most i've worked on a 'single' art - though now i realise just how much longer the fic took :')

[invinciblerodent]

So, uh.... my boy has finally got a boyfriend, I finally got Gale's second romance scene, and... man. I have a LOT of thoughts and feelings, and woefully few words to describe them. (But I'll try to keep it vague, lol.)

I honestly love how the writers didn't shy away from writing this to be something so earnestly, unapologetically STRANGE, but so heartfelt and romantic. That Weave scene, while it sounds weird on paper, I honestly don't think I've seen a romance scene that was more representative of a character before. I already felt like I related to Gale quite a bit, but now, I feel like I see him on almost a whole new level. Now, he showed just how deeply INTENSE a man he is.

Yeah, there is a bit of showboating in him (though I've always kinda seen that as less of a "look how awesome I am" and more a "look how useful I can be, please like me"), and overall he presented a pretty restrained image- but now, with that recolored by this, I feel like it all goes to show how he really just YEARNS for someone to know him. It most shows in how after telling him that you love him too, he immediately throws all his doors open, invites you in, whisks you away to the part of the world that feels most meaningful to him, shows you all that he feels important- the Weave included.

He wants to show you everything, to share all that he feels is himself with you, be DEEPLY, INTIMATELY KNOWN by you... and he just wants to GIVE you so much, show you so much love, so much pleasure, so much OF HIMSELF, that just one set of limbs, just one of him isn't even enough! He wants to melt into you, hold you with more limbs than a human could ever possess, become one with you and give you all that he is while taking in all that you are...!!!!

And all he wants in return is that you accept him, with a his... unusual, eager, awkward, kind, smart-mouthed, somewhat melodramatic, loving, silly, deeply DEVOTED self, and his love that feels so vast, he wouldn't be able to fully express it even if there were three of him. This man is so full of love for you, he's all but bursting at the seams.

I feel... emotional. I don't think I've ever been THIS moved by a video game love scene (I can't even bring myself to call it a sex scene, these mfs didn't just have sex, they made love), like I know that feeling!!!! I've FELT that before!!!!! And I, as myself, a person, not as someone roleplaying a character, felt weirdly SEEN just now!!!!

I'm just overall very impressed.

.... Oh, and the way he drops on one knee to kiss his new, dwarfy boyfriend? Just adorable. I know all companions do that when they touch a shorter player character (I still love the way Karlach crumpled into my boy's arms in the hug scene), but it still feels kinda special.

(You just know these two assholes are going to be so deeply OBNOXIOUS about being in love. Like yes, they already were, but now that they know their feelings are mutual, they'll be like... fkin holding hands while traveling, and cuddling by the fire, and all that cutesy shit. God, I'm so endeared.)

#squirrel plays bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 gale #bg3 gale romance #gale dekarios #gale of waterdeep #what a way for Arvid to end his 35 years of celibacy #he won't be able to wipe that dopey look off his face for at least the next day #I'm sure there'll be some... less esoteric and more MORTAL activities too but.... yeah this had to be their first time #it set the bar very high though for sure #i also instantly got why his romance is strictly monogamous #yeah that felt less like sex and more like trading parts of their fkin souls #i fully get it now #that was the perfect first time for them #(i also just went for a long rest because I wanted to swap Gale's spells out whoops)

[pastafossa]

Charlie Cox experience at Philly Fan Expo 2023

So LET”S TALK ABOUT ME MEETING CHARLIE. I’m actually going to make two posts - this one just about my experiences with Charlie, because they were incredibly meaningful and deserve their own post, and then another one about the rest of the con!

I’m going to talk about Charlie first, because of how amazing the experience was, one of the best I’ve had, especially at the autograph table. I’ve done photos, gotten autographs and such before from other celebs - from niche voice actors I loved to people like David Tennant - but this felt Really Really Big. Obviously, I was nervous as all hell because holy shit Charlie Cox, my favorite actor whose work altered the course of my life. I won’t lie - I’d been practicing what to say to him in case I freaked out, but I’m happy to say that everyone who reassured me it would go great, because he was so, so genuine and kind, were right.

The photo op happened first (and thank you to everyone on tumblr guiding me where to go, cause I was LOST about where that was happening), and that went fast. By that point in the con hall, I’d already ditched my Jessica Jones jacket and gloves cause holy shit it’s hot and I am a creature of snow and ice, and my hair was a mess, but honestly I didn’t care, cause there he is. You don’t get long, but he made the most of it and he was SO sweet. Ya’ll, he asked my name, said my name as he shook my hand, and called me ‘my dear’ in that beautiful voice.

I was literally on the moon, but it was time for the big question:

Will he hold the red thread from TRT?

So in a quiet, nervous, soft author voice, I asked, ‘would you be ok with holding this end of the thread?’

HE FUCKING DID.

HE HELD IT.

HE HELD. THE. RED. THREAD.

I’m fairly certain he doesn’t know about the fic at this point - he wasn’t sure where to hold it until I told him, but he loved that it lit up! AND THEN HE PUT HIS ARM AROUND ME AND I GOT TO PUT MY ARM AROUND HIM BACK.

I’m fairly certain I’m dead in the photo. My soul had left my body. I had ascended. I saw Jesus and he looked like Charlie. I had achieved fic author heights never imagined. My brain filled with enough serotonin and dopamine to sink a ship. I didn’t care that I was hot and sweaty or that my hair was messy or that my cosplay didn’t work out like I’d planned. I had been blessed.

also look at that forearm holy shit

I floated outta that gd room ya’ll. I’m pretty sure @wonderlandmind4​ did the same. WE FROLICKED OUT OF THAT HALL LIKE

But things got even better at the autograph table, and I had one of the most touching experiences ever.

not me tearing up thinking about it.

That line was long, but I kept getting glimpses of him and I could already tell he was enjoying interacting with people, and he was making sure everyone got their bit of time with him instead of letting anyone rush people through. He was so happy looking, laughing and grinning, high fives and fist bumps for kids, chatting with fans. Which made me feel a little more confident.

I know some people wondered if I’d tell him about TRT, and I’d already decided I wasn’t going to. Instead, I really, really wanted just a second to tell him what his work as Daredevil had meant for me, as someone who became disabled around the same time Matt did as a kid, and who related to... a lot of what Matt went through in the show. I’d practiced it over and over again, and there was only a fifty percent chance I wouldn’t start crying while telling him, and I wasn’t even sure I’d have time to tell him depending on how much time we had.

He made time.

I got up to him with my art print holy shit he’s even more beautiful in person and his eyes are STUNNING. He said hi, and asked my name so he could personalize the autograph if I wanted (DUH, YES PLEASE), and he apologized about the line after we shook hands. I jokingly told him it was fine since I’d driven hours to get here. A little time in line wasn’t a bother. He even loved one of the buttons on my lanyard - the button of Matt wearing a heart crown specifically! And as he was writing, I knew this was my chance to tell him. He was still signing, so I just decided to go for it in case I ran out of time.

“I just wanted to tell you,” I said quietly, “as someone who became disabled as a kid around the same age as Matt did—”

And then he did something I didn’t expect, something I’d rarely seen anyone do, famous or not, and something I’d never had an actor or artist do for me.

He immediately set down the pen, leaned in close over the table, and made direct eye contact, while giving me the most genuine, gentle, encouraging smile I’d ever seen.

In that moment, I knew everything in him was listening, that he cared about what I was about to say and recognized that this was important to me, and that he’d closed the distance to make this conversation just... us. It felt personal in a way I’ve never experienced at a con or signing.  

Just like that, I wasn’t afraid to tell him what I’d wanted to.

“And as someone who related to... a lot of what Matt went through, his struggles in the show, and especially the dark parts of season 3,” I said, more confidently now, “I wanted you to know that all the work you put in, the way you played it, the way you played Matt and treated it seriously, seeing that helped me process and heal from a lot of my own trauma and pain over what I’ve gone through with my illnesses. What you did was important and it really helped me. So I wanted you to know that, how much that meant to me, and to say thank you.”

The whole time I spoke to him, he kept direct eye contact, and didn’t look away once. He didn’t get antsy, or look like he wanted me to hurry up (which I’d have understood, cause damn, these are long days for him). He listened, fully engaged and leaning in, his eyes warm and soft and kind but incredibly serious. I’m not sure how often he’s been told something like this—a lot, I expect; his portrayal was just that good, and I know it was important to a lot of fans—but what I was trying to tell him clearly meant something to him. I felt heard, seen, and understood.

Charlie really does care about his fans. It isn’t an act. I’m sure of it now.

“Thank you, truly,” he said, just as quietly but with that honest smile, eye crinkles and all, and seeing it in person, that close up, I swear the room felt ten times brighter. “Thank you for coming to tell me that. It means a lot, the idea that something I did meant so much and that it could help you. I’m so grateful that you were able to come visit and tell me.”

We shook hands after that. He wished me a good day and I told him thank you again, and that was that. The interaction only lasted maybe a minute, but it meant the absolute world to me, as did what he’s done as Daredevil. And now he knows that.

#Philly Fan Expo #Charlie Cox #Daredevil #he HELD THE THREAD ya'll #my fanfic author life is now complete #and honestly as a fan i don't know if any other experience will ever top those moments I got with Charlie #he is so so kind and warm and wonderful #the way he immediately stopped and gave me his full attention when i started to tell him what it meant #i just had to stop for a second and collect myself because just... #he was *listening* and despite all the noise and chaos i suddenly had his full attention #the way he leaned in so the conversation felt like it was just us and the way he cocked his head and focused on me like #i can't think of a single celeb or interaction like that where i've felt that much like what i was saying to him mattered #(that's not dissing the other actors and celebs i've met. they've all been wonderful! but charlie definitely has a special kindness i think) #and i can now say having been that close to him and having spoken with him over something fairly serious #he is literally one of the kindest celebs i've met and the most genuine #you can literally see the warmth in his eyes when he looks at you. he's *legitimately* happy you're there to talk to him or see him #maybe one day he'll find out about TRT. i'm honestly not sure #but even if he doesn't at least I got a chance to tell him how much what he's done has helped me heal #from a lot of really... really hard things in my life #and according to a friend (who I didn't even know was there but spotted me talking to Charlie from another line!) #Charlie did indeed stay until WAY late signing everyone's stuff so that no one missed an autograph #he said his estimation of Charlie just shot way up because even hours later he was still taking his time with each fan that came up #Charlie has absolutely solidified as my favorite actor and one of the nicest people I've had the pleasure of meeting

[profounddefendorcrusade-blog]

I feel bad for Starlo. (pt. 6)

I think the main thing we were supposed to see as Star's character flaw wasn't that he was acting proud/arrogant/reckless/badass (I mentioned that it's fine for him to act that way because he deserved it after everything good he did and obviously I still mean it 110%), but how that proud, charming guy was never the real him. He literally lost himself trying to feel worthy and please everyone in town. For years he's been acting the role (for a noble cause) but the price was him losing touch with the nerd he is.

Yet STILL, if only everyone had been a bit more gentle with him, I bet he'd have toned it down during the WE section, and even before that. But they all decided to let him know the truth at the worst possible time, right when he was supposed to make Clover his deputy. Right after they attacked the kid because they were jealous. It was supposed to be the PEAK of Starlo's day and they randomly threw the "we never liked any of this" bomb at him instead of trying to talk it out BEFORE things escalated. I'd be pissed too.

Oh yeah...

... his brother doesn't take him seriously apparently and doesn't realize that staying positive and strong 24/7 is tougher than it looks, especially with Starlo's insecurities (and yeah being a farmer is hard work, but so is being in Star's position; on the contrary, it's even TOUGHER) ...

Orion should try being an entertainer for a day and see what it's like, let alone doing it for years

...Solomon says how Star thought him and Crestina didn't support his life choices...

... and how he rarely talks to his family...

...and it suddenly came to me: in all these years, they didn't ever bother telling him that they did support him? They didn't bother trying to reach out to him more? Understand his passion (Ceroba doesn't get it either; once again, I don't blame Starlo for caring about Clover so much, that kid understood)? Have an honest talk?

No wonder Star stopped interacting with them for the most part. Maybe him feeling worthless came from his family? Who knows (or he was bullied as a kid for being a nerd). In any case, he clearly had to deal with these feelings by himself.

This man's been through some stuff.

P.S. I know he has flaws like everyone, but you've gotta ask yourself the important question: WHY? where did all this come from? But clearly nobody in his life ever asked themselves this. So it all kept building up till he almost killed his deputy for... status. He was SO desperate to feel valued and get his friends back (who made him feel less alone.. but ultimately just left when he needed someone the most, at least ONE person) that he was ready to go all the way to achieve what he'd been lacking his entire life: *feeling like he MATTERED.*

I wonder If he'll ever go 100% back to being his true self. Slim chances :'( this is him now. Half farmer half sheriff

#undertale yellow #uty #starlo uty #uty starlo #why is this character so tragic #without being tragic #i mean the “Ceroba” type of tragic #I'm no psychologist but I sure know feelings like this stem from childhood/adolescence #I'm talking bout the fact starlo literally decided that his life purpose would be pretending to be a sheriff. I repeat. PRETENDING #aka someone important #bc he never felt important #he tried lying to everybody and especially himself #that he was 'great' and 'cool' #bc nobody ever made him feel that way #plus ceroba ditched him for someone more 'serious' she had just met #I have to write about the sentence above soon #like I'm not saying Solomon & crestina are terrible people #But parents..? #Wellll... #I kinda sometimes imagine Star being made fun of by his peers and so he'd always retreat to his room and cry alone #That is #Until he found those western cassettes (I imagine it happened when he was a teen) #So instead of crying #He'd just distract himself for hours and hours #And pretend he was someone with more value who everyone respected #That's how the persona came to be #And so he began to lose touch with his real self more and more #As well as his feelings and problems #Until he just snapped #I can't anymore

[welcometogrouchland]

Stephanie Brown and Dick Grayson: I Am Going To Be A Good Parent To Pass On The Good Parts Of My Tumultuous Childhood/Give Someone Else What I Didn't Have Growing Up

Vs

Damian Wayne and Cassandra Cain: You Could Not Pay Me To Be A Parent For Fear I Would Continue The Cycle Of Violence

#dc comics #stephanie brown #dick grayson #damian wayne #cassandra cain #ramblings of a lunatic #don't ask me about tim jason or duke idk what's going on there #Tim can't even make it to college unimpeded his ass is NOT entering fatherhood #you could do something really interesting with Jason as a father but it'd either have to go hard into the 'jason healing' route- #-or the complete opposite direction and go full on 'repeating the cycle of violence' fucked up #and either way it's gonna be divisive #i recently found out (bc i skipped batman and the outsiders) that duke's dad is some kind of immortal entity???? what in the fresh hell #I'm not saying it can't be cool I'm saying I'm. so goddman surprised it's never brought up by ANYONE #i know duke doesn't get his flowers in fandom but SERIOUSLY. WHAT? #ngl i can't say for sure that i don't like it bc i haven't seen the execution but. instinctually i prefer his og backstory #it just felt more grounded and linked to his setting? his whole thing is being the light and pushing batmans message further- #which is already hard for some writers to work w bc depending on interpretation that's the territory of like. 5 other guys in batfam #but duke does it in his own way with the whole working the dayshift angle. idk am i the only one hung up on the eldritch daddy thing? #bc i simply can't imagine the thought process behind that #anyway I've been thinking about the bit in robin 2021 where damian says he's never having kids. he's so real for that #he loves both his parents deeply and that series made that clear but MAN he is not passing on all this mental illness to anyone #and then i thought about how badly steph wanted to be a mom even as a teenager despite her own shitty parents #how she wanted to give someone else more than she had growing up (HOPE HAS ALWAYS BEEN A THEME FOR STEPH LISTEN TO ME) #and she ultimately gave her kid up bc she knew she couldn't give that to them at the time #oouughhhh. then i just figured that dick and cass are roughly the same in their estimation of parenthood #cass had a horrifically abusive upbringing and insanely isolated life til recent- #-all of which was due to/contributed by the parental figures in her life minus maybe barbara #i think I'd love to watch cass act as a mentor (she was a bit of a peer mentor to Steph and got along well w maps in Batgirls) #but it's hard to picture her as maternal. big sister yes. mother no. #dick is soooo dad shaped it's unreal. just as much as he is brother shaped. especially after everything with damian

[leafyyygreensss]

People with he/they pronouns are metal

#I wanna go back to using all pronouns but people would default to using the one they associate with my perceived gender #they/them was a way to force certain people to remember that i'm non-binary #but also #the thought of being referred to aa she/her forever terrified me #at the time i wasn't sure about how i felt about he/him #maybe i'll try it out again #neo pronouns are cool too #trans #nb #non binary #queer #lgbtq #he/they #they/them #pronouns #nonbinary

[pinkestlittlebutterfly]

[I am terribly impatient to see Lust pair plot progression, and since the recent chapter has not given me any I have decided to be delusional and make my own; enjoy]

“I have never been loved even once in my life!” Lily yells. 

Misono can only stare, frozen. The man in front of him has no more gentle smiles and kind touches to offer, no more mocking grins and sharp words; this Lily is angry and bitter with something that might be grief. His face is contorted in a sharp-fanged grimace. His fingernails dig deeply into the hardened magic of their chairs. 

Misono has never heard him yell before. 

“The Alicein love you,” He hears himself say, and then “do they not?”

Lily laughs, brightly like the sound of shattering glass. 

“The Alicein love me no more than they’d love a pretty trinket,” He spits, “I’m nothing but their heirloom to pass to their sons and daughters. Do you think Mikage took me to those operas because he loved me so much? He only ever loved being admired for having such a pretty plaything. Mikado – Mikado tossed me aside like jewellery he thought too ugly to adorn himself with, scraps for his wife to pick at like everything else he no longer wanted! Mikuni has never seen me as more than my name, and you –”

Misono flinches, though Lily hasn’t moved from his seat. The man’s chest is heaving. His eyes are dry but his voice broke on the last word like Misono’s sometimes does when he’s about to cry. 

“You were the only one who ever came close to fooling me,” Lily whispers. “You were so kind to me. I didn’t even care when you yelled and threw books. I wanted you to love me so badly.” 

For a split second it’s too much and Lily’s face breaks and Misono sees anguish and pain and despair and thinks – he has seen this face before; at night, in the garden, when he screamed at Lily to never come near him again. 

“I’m not angry with you,” Lily says, “it’s my fault. You could never love me.” 

It feels like being ripped from a daze. Suddenly, Misono is angry. 

His Lily is hurting. What is he doing?

“So when all is said and done,” Lily continues, “you’d be foolish to think you could have changed anything. Do you understand, Misono? Nothing you can do could ever –”

“Shut up, Snow Lily!” Misono roars. 

He feels his power ripple through the remnants of their pact. For a moment, Lily’s voice fails him. For a moment, he looks triumphant.

“You are so fucking desperate to be unlovable it’s pathetic!” Misono yells. “You have never, for even a single god damn moment, stopped to consider that you’re just hurt and angry and too fucking stupid to see others’ feelings for what they are! You refuse to deal with your pain because you are a fucking coward, who spent all this time planning and scheming and still needs me to hate him to actually go through with it!” 

There’s a grim sense of satisfaction in wiping away that treacherous sense of triumph on Lily’s face, but he is not done yet. He draws another deep breath. 

“You cannot force me to fit into this fucking fantasy of yours! You cannot make me hate you!” 

He screams it with all his strength, even as he tastes blood in his throat. 

“I love you! I have always loved you and I always will! And you can hate this family and you can mock me all you want, but you will never change this!” 

#servamp #servamp spoilers #servamp lily #servamp misono #lust pair #when lily's talking about the alicein obviously he's meant to be a bit of an unreliable narrator #because we can't really be sure about anything regarding how he and the family felt about each other for all those centuries #and i wrote him in a way where sometimes he doesn't understand or even see love #so maybe mikage loved him after all but also #i have many thoughts on the lily and alicein relationship #because obviously it's not as sweet and loving as we were led to believe #and there's little hints and bits of it everywhere #and i want to talk about it more but i'm also tired so take this instead

[alsojnpie]

hey. um. i love him

#O_O i really love him #it's getting warmer every day and i can't draw him in a sweater for much longer #by the way. is this site going to. yknow. die #sigh........i kept telling myself I'd get better at it one day #kind of like the way i tell myself i can get together courage to speak up but i never do #using another website just sounds so depressing #im not good at social media. im tired of pretending like i can get good at it #but you can't even pretend like you can jump into a conversation if no one is having a conversation #i wanted to be part of a community here but i never could figure out what belonging looked like or how i could do it #and maybe it's my fundamental misunderstanding of that that prevents it but how can i understand it without experience #I'm so jealous of everyone who looks like they achieved what i couldn't even put my finger on. but since i didn't even understand it #i can't even be sure what exactly im jealous of #the other day i walked past a trio of friends and they had their arms around each other and were laughing as they walked #and i felt really strongly that even though I've always wanted a friend like that I'm actually fundamentally incompatible with that. #there's several reasons #but it made me feel really sad. but it made me feel a little better too. i guess it's really not my fault. maybe. i don't really know #in that moment it felt very much like something that was not my fault. and it was nice and sad at the same time #idk what's going to happen here. but one thing i know for sure is that i can have a happy tomorrow. no matter what #no matter what i have to give up on. i can find joy in other things. even in myself #and if there's one idea that he is about. it's that one

[found--family]

am i the only one who sensed some jilted lover vibes from jensen? 

#burcon #cockles #thoughts #at the start of the panel and through a few particular interactions he seemed very standoffish #he was giving a little bitter and hurt and perhaps even resentful - maybe he only learned of misha's gf #at this con too! maybe it was news to him. on top of not seeing misha for months i can understand #if he was feeling a bit neglected and out of the loop. there's also the matter of misha's gf not being #in a poly thing with jensen and dee like vicki was ie. what she has with misha is seperate so i'm sure #that's another difficult thing to deal with knowing their time together is strictly separate #i've no doubt he wants misha to have a partner and be happy but there's an adjustment period #letting new people into your life and whoever misha's partner is now or in the future is going to #affect jensen on a personal level and moreover his relationship with misha. it's all very intriguing #and while i like what little i've seen and heard about this woman for misha i just think no matter who #she is it's going to take a toll on jensen's relationship w misha. i thought it was plain to see on jensen's face #during their panel: numerous moments where he was giving a poker face that wasn't covering a laugh #but instead like he was trying to smooth out his bitterness. or so my eyes and brain and heart tell me. #just various moments where things looked uncomfortable and jensen making off-colour jokes that didn't land #and which furthermore were barbed and snarky - not in their usual banter way but like he was lashing out #and using the excuse of chaotic panel convo to explain away his comedic pitfalls. but again maybe i'm #looking to much into it? idk. there are some lovely moments! fun and caring moments - but they #mainly came from misha's direction ngl. it seemed like misha was trying hard to keep the peace #while jensen was just running his mouth on comments and jokes that kept not landing - for me #everyone on my dash is loving their dynamic this panel - and i want to feel that love! it is possible that #learning misha has a gf has skewed my perception a little like i'm putting context onto moments #i otherwise wouldn't. but i also think i would've laughed and generally felt better watching their panel #if that was the case. idk. whatever the reason i do think something was OFF between them on stage #and it was coming from jensen from the start. misha picked up on it partway though but things felt #a little strained throughout. like jensen wasn't looking at misha as much as usual or reaching out for him #misha tried to salvage and not react to things. but both their answers to the last Q were passive aggressive af #and when they left the stage together they weren't close or touching or chatting like they usually are...

[anghraine]

Just thinking about Gandalf saying that Denethor was "too great" to be psychically dominated by Sauron, and his warning to Pippin that Denethor is powerful in a way that Théoden isn't regardless of the particulars of descent, and dangerous; and I'm thinking about Faramir's deeply strange remarks about Gollum's mind and history, and Gollum crying out in pain when he tries to lie about Cirith Ungol, and Faramir's totally unexplained suspicions that Something Went Sideways For Boromir in Lothlórien Specifically—

And I'm also thinking of what it would be like to be young Faramir with all this happening in his head and around him. I have a lot of feelings about Faramir getting his only explanations and rules about what's happening from Denethor and what lore he can pick up and maybe what "little" Gandalf will tell him—

And then I'm thinking of what it would be like to be young Denethor, to have this experience with no guidance at all.

For Faramir, everything of this ilk is going to be filtered through his extremely complicated and fraught relationship with his father, the only person he knows who is like him.

For young Denethor, there isn't anyone like him. There are other Númenórean types in Gondor, and people who are Númenórean in different ways, but it's clear that there's no one like Denethor, and hasn't been in generations. So sometimes I wonder what that would be like, as well—to just have to figure it all out on your own and still end up as powerful and dangerous as he is.

I mean, obviously I find this cool and compelling, but I also think that the way in which Denethor is set apart from the world around him might well have made for an incredibly isolated experience, especially in his youth. For all his mastery of lore, there's probably a lot about his own nature and abilities that he never knew.

#sometimes i wonder if that's what got him into lore to begin with #just desperately trying to find out why this was happening to him #and there was nobody who could explain it and nobody who shared it until freaking thorongil comes along #and if you know thorongil is aragorn it's such a wildly suspicious situation #and even aragorn leans way less on mental powers most of the time #and couldn't prevent him from seeing who he really was #so i'm not sure it really felt like 'hey i'm not alone in the world' #even apart from all the other issues #anghraine babbles #long post #legendarium blogging #anghraine's headcanon #húrinionath #denethor #faramir #gandalf #this was actually a longer post but i can never shrink it down properly. oh well.

[anirudhpisharody]

all of the info we've gotten recently about shannon and eddie's early days is so interesting like: they met when they were 14. got together at 17/18. shannon gets pregnant at 19, eddie immediately proposes, they get married, then he enlists. then we're at the start of eddie begins with an ~20 year old shannon and eddie becoming parents.

and it's like. why just bring all this up now if they're not planning on using it? i feel like they're starting to lay the groundwork for some eddie sexuality crisis introspection into his lack of experience exploring relationships and why he struggles to build a life and future with potential partners and why it has come so easy with one person

#like even when he was with ana the way he described his relationship with her #he said that she was the first woman he wanted to spend this much time with since shannon #which is kinda a major oversimplification of what you should feel in a relationship with someone that you want a future with? #but the only relationship he had been in before that was when he was a literal child #so like yeah that probably was what he felt then when him and shannon were dating #i want to finish this point somehow but i'm not really sure what point i'm getting at here #it's just interesting. also gay eddie wins #911 spoilers #911 #eddie diaz #911 meta

[ctl-yuejie]

you remembered, quite observant ｜hidden agenda ep. 1

#hidden agenda #hidden agenda the series #joong archen #dunk natachai #aka very convoluted flirting strategies #i really like how needlessly chaotic this is already #i'm not even sure i want to get an explanation why joke doesn't directly hit on him before starting this whole thing #but i enjoy how charmed he is but also isn't so unrealistically enfatuated that he'd let bs slide #and i am not certain how airheaded zo is to not catch the i love you in mandarin by joke #love the petulant way he grabs his coffee (also in a way that screams 'I drink take out coffee a lot' - which probably is just dunk) #hmmm #first time i am watching a show with joongdunk and i enjoy them #some of the show feels a bit like it was made 2 years ago but it is pretty solid and i like the silliness of it all #i just hope nita doesn't have to suffer under their combined weirdness - i felt sorry when zo ripped the strap on her bag after not accepti #ng her refusal #but i appreciate that the show knows that he isn #t perfect - he did slap joke after all #also: i changed the font i used which took up 80% of the time working on this aka 25 minutes #still not 100% sure but the text reads crisper than on my older sets

[muninnhuginn]

li tianxi blaming herself for her parents not divorcing and because they don't things escalate past boiling point. blaming herself in the first place for the tensions between them because she has needs and not everyone is willing to try and meet her with them. li tianxi choosing to look away and not say what she sees anymore so this won't repeat. but in the process just ending up enabling tianchen as he spirals down and down.

li tianchen blaming himself because he wanted to fix things for his mum and do what she couldn't but instead he gets her dead. and tianchen just wants to protect tianxi like he failed to protect his mum but he doesn't try to actually *understand* her. so instead his efforts eventually drive her away because there's only so much she's willing to take. she didn't want to be 'protected' like this.

they've both lost their parents and tianxi doesn't want anyone to suffer as she has whilst tianchen wants everyone else to suffer as he has. everyone except tianxi.

wanting to protect someone but not giving them the agency in the decision. in whether they even want to be 'protected' in this way.

#me as always linking it back to the shiguang dynamic with that last sentence huh #link click #link click spoilers #sth again about cycles of abuse. tianxi the eternal victim. tianchen the victim at first but needing the control to never be a victim again #calling it 'hunter' bc that's what he's been told and it's what he clings to bc if not he's just another wild hurt beast #I don't know how much is intentional but the way that the twins' roles are gendered is kinda interesting? #not totally sure if I'm a fan (esp w/ what happened to ltx) but I can see what I think it's getting at #when they had ltc refusing the phone call bc 'no one in the family is mentally ill' + qj's arc having those toxic masculinity vibes #qj taking the role that li fan originally held so even when the twins escape they never actually do. they're held in these roles. #also. it's interesting that ltx was always considered disabled before anything else happened. + then the mutism was the trauma response. #like. her very existence she felt was the cause of tension and she had that knowledge but wanted them to stay as this happy family #that probably never even existed. + like I said not a huge fan of how her chara was treated but she represented hope for a reason #she had that hope within her back then and held onto it until now. it could only die with her. and that's why tianchen lets go. #shiguang daili ren spoilers

[rosiethals]

#The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes #TBOSAS #Coriolanus Snow #Lucy Gray Baird #Snowbaird #for me... no. #I'm not sure he's capable of romantic love personally? he doesn't have the capacity to truly care about someone in that way #he's got such a Capitol mindset where all he cares about is status power and possessions #and to him to love someone is to own them #that felt really evident to me in some of his thoughts re Lucy Gray #she was more of a... meal ticket than someone he had genuine feelings for #everything he did to help her was really to help HIM #anyway. sometimes I feel like swinging a bat at a hornet's nest so let me know where you land!

[allyriadayne]

Why do you think Larys gravitated towards Alicent and not say Rhaenyra? Did he think Alicent was easier to manipulate and more vulnerable or did he just think the greens were a safer bet?

it's half and half. i don't think larys is doing all that because he particularly believes in the traditional male inheritance and is ideologically aligned with the greens, nor that he thinks they are the safest bet (if he believed in this he would not have murdered his family lol). we don't actually know what are his grand plans in the books or in the show but while i don't believe it has to do exactly with personal power, it has to do with getting him into a position of considerable influence over the realm's affairs.

after saying this we can say that targeting alicent makes more sense than rhaenyra. why? for the same reason otto decides it's better to make alicent visit viserys to eventually trap him into marrying her rather than try to guide rhaenyra from zero. alicent is more pliable, more naive, and more willing to follow than to lead, even if she doesn't realize it that moment as the mother of the possible future king she has a lot of influence in court and council; larys has been watching her since she became queen (notice how he inserted himself in the women's circle during the hunt) and found her to be in the right position AND disposition. it was no accident that he finds her just after saying goodbye to otto in the godswood: she's finally free from her biggest influence, has no support system, and in such a vulnerable state that when larys does his tricks she falls really easily and believes all his words (the-green-dress-ramin-djawadi.mp3) because he empathizes with her ("when one is not invited to speak..."), speaks her fears out loud (rhaenyra, her lack of allies) and offers her his support when all she had was through otto.

as for larys, i like to think that he saw some parts of himself in her (outsiders, under strict parents, intelligent and overlooked), esp during those ten years of dinners where the friendly facade (or was it?!?!) was firmly in place (rip alicent you are never getting away) and that's why he doubles down in his punishments when she denies him. in any case, this would not had happened with rhaenyra at all. larys needs an entry and the only moment rhaenyra is vulnerable is when daemon leaves her pants down in the brothel, she's much more guarded and knows how to wield her privileges. poor larys would've been kicked out immediately plus after rhaenyra started seeing harwin there was NO WAY larys was going for the same route, that his brother liked her was already a mark against.

i think at this point when aegon was a baby many people were just waiting for viserys to change his mind, he doesn't really do much for rhaenyra so for them it was a matter of time. i think this is true for larys and because he's practically put all his eggs in alicent's basket he's throwing himself to be the best pet spy in the realm and not lose the foothold he has in the queen until the moment she or the cause is not useful to his goals anymore (let's remember he installed one of the puppet kings, did nothing when daemon took harrenhal, when alys did the same, and well, he did poison aegon lol).

#ask #Anonymous #alicent hightower #larys strong #alicent x larys #larys has a nose for young vulnerable maidens its true #also most of the appeal was that he felt a kinship to her. resented her bc she was an able bodied beautiful woman and probably also resents #how 'weak' she is when she's so similar to him. he's made something for himself in spite of his difficulties why does she fall so low etcet #i don't think it'd have been as easy if he didn't sympathize with her in a way at the beginning. it's like they say the best lies have a #grain of truth in them #and the greens had something or could achieve something he needed to reach whatever his goal is of that i'm sure