#i'm too tired to care anymore

[goldenlandfiascos]

don't know why my video looks extra blurry like that, but whatever

#i'm too tired to care anymore #it looks fine on twitter but fucked up here #and apparently tumblr mobile isn't wanting to play videos for me at all so i guess that's an issue too for some #whatever i'm so sick of technology and slow internet problems #delete later #my posts

[lyxchen]

Something I also love about Heartbreak High is how the main character is just so silly <33 Like Amerie doesn't try to be cool or fit in or anything. She's silly and weird and she knows that and she's confident in that and that makes her such a lovely and amazing main character <333

#like seriously #often the main character is kinda boring #because they always have to be this misunderstood outcast who just wants to have friends #but not amerie #she cares and she loves and she protects with all her heart and she is so fun and silly goofy and sometimes she fucks up and she's amazing #i love her so so dang much!!!! #heartbreak high #amerie wadia #lea's random thoughts #i also love how heartbreak high comes much closer to actual social relationships between sudents than a lot of other highschool shows do #like nit everybody hates everybody actually #and sometimes people become accidentally and unexpectedly close friends #like amerie with darren and quinni #that happens #and things pass #like you won't actually be forever knows for that one embarassing thing you did one time #nobody calls amerie map bitch anymore #because people move on #anyways #i'm too tired to write more about this but maybe some other time

[peachypaddys]

okay i'll be honest i packed my bags up two days ago in regards to buddie bc i had read the leaked scripts and saw the "brother" on there and then while watching previous episodes i noticed all the big buddie hints were all more focused on buck than eddie (but then again 90% of the show is more focused on buck than eddie. not particularly mad about it but i'd like more of eddie) and i thought that it's over, because i thought the writers never thought of eddie as queer in any form ever and he's a straight man to them...

then the episode didn't have "brother" and THEN I FIND OUT THAT RIGHT UNTIL FILMING EPISODES 2 AND 3, EDDIE was supposed to kiss tommy?? and have the sexuality discovery arc?!?

now i'm back more than ever. just the fact that in the writers' minds, there is a possibility of queer eddie is enough for me. now eddie is literally gay to me, and nothing will change it, and all i need is for him to realize it (aka for the writers to actually put the words down)... tim also talked about how he actually intended to write stuff with natalia but then the actress left and he had to come up with something for marisol... oh we were so so close.

i think it can still happen btw. the words used were "fell through" and idk what the reasons are obviously (many ppl think it's bc ryan doesn't want to do it and i don't like him either but the switch up being so last minute makes me think not) and i hope it's just that they realized they need more time to dedicate to this for eddie bc his character would struggle a lot more with any kind of queerness than buck (he's not as experimental, repression king, catholic guilt, mexican macho man culture) and that would need way more than like 7 episodes to address and delve into.

i am happy for bi buck and glad he's gonna get a good, romcom-esque arc exploring himself along with tommy (i like bucktommy too) but god, i just caught up on seasons 5 and 6 and it made me love and connect so much more with eddie and even if not for buddie - although that would be a bonus (and logical next step) - i need eddie to figure out himself and come out and finally be free and happy and follow his heart.

#eddie diaz #911 on abc #911 abc #evan buckley #buddie #bucktommy #i like bucktommy btw but i don't want the lurkers who are gauging the reactions to think that we don't want queer eddie anymore #and i'm kinda annoyed that ppl think it's not necessary anymore like????? #so many ppl actually don't care that much about eddie lmao #i'm SO happy about bi buck you don't get it but eddie needs to be freed from that closet too #and i'm tired of 'buddies' who only really care about buck saying it's ok we don't need it anymore and jumping ship #you can ofc like both buddie and bucktommy but saying queer eddie no longer matters or is important....... #eddie diaz get behind me i'll pry you out of the closet with my own two hands

[felizusnavidad]

unpopular opinion but i really miss those days when it was all about the music in taylor swift fandom

#time for a little rant because i feel like i need to get it off my chest rn #i feel so disconnected from this fandom lately #mostly because literally everything is about travis these days #like don't get me wrong i'm really happy that she's happy but #i just don't feel the need to talk about her relationship 24/7 like some of the swifties #and honestly it's all just too much #everything is about taylor and i'm not even excited anymore when i see new pictures of her #because it's just too much??? #i truly love her with all my heart and i always will but even i am tired and i've been a swiftie for literally half of my life #why do people have to discuss every single detail about her love life #and who cares if she's going to be at the game again #let her live maybe #i'm sorry but it's just so annoying lately #this fandom is being too fucking loud and i'm tired and it's not even fun anymore #remember when the eras tour started? amazing times #we were talking about it all the time and discussing every single detail of the tour and the songs and all #now it's all about her new relationship guys it's not... like... WHY. #it makes me so sad because it used to be different #ugh #i might get hate for that but i don't care i just really needed to say that #taylor swift #ts #talking shit for the hell of it*

[hallowsden]

@f4nd0m-fun here

So, I was on the ship Wiki, and I'm wondering what your Crane ships are?

I stumbled on Scriddler and TwoCrow, and I couldn't help but peek at TwoRiddle, so now I'm thinking about TwoScriddler, and oh no.

I barely know these chars and yet here I am.

Now combine this with John barely speaking with his fam and... you got Danny showing up on his doorstep one day, and Crane may have forgot to tell his buds about it, and you've got a small mess.

Personally, if I had to ship Harvey with someone, it's Gilda or Bruce (or both) (Unless it's Batman Forever version, then definitely TwoRiddle cause HAVE YOU SEEN THEM!?)

But honestly? This made me thinking... (Long ass rant ahead that may or may not make sense. This is written while being sleep deprived)

Jonny boy here ain't the only one who suffered abuse as a child. Both Harvey and Edward have as well. They both have Daddy Issues while Jonathan, depending on how you interpret him or which backstory you use, have granny issues + religious trauma or also Daddy Issues.

That being said, Harvey gives me the "this family ends with me" vibes, especially after he became Two-Face, and may be put off with Danny's presence for a while. He doesn't want to continue the cycle and become his dad. He'd likely would have liked, at the very least, to have been informed about the new addition to their family so he can... Prepare essentially/get used to the idea/plan how to avoid Danny. He's... For the lack of better words, cautious/careful around Danny, as to not accidentally trigger himself by accidentally hurting the kid. Does this make sense?

It'll take a while for Harvey to relax around Danny but for sure, he's gonna be very protective, if because he's Jonny's kid at first. He'll come to adore the kid and while not see him as a son but like... Oh, who's he and Harv kidding, that's his kid now and too hell with a coin, fuck with one of his then you'd get instant death penalty with him as the Executioner.

Harvey is gonna try and teach Danny law, specifically how to use loopholes against the system and evade arrests and such cause what else is gonna try to do to bond with Danny? Man's life had always revolved around law... Though... there are times where he'd go into this sort of story mode, recalling his experiences with Danny. He's soft and distant here but this is his way to fully open up, if that makes sense.

Harv, on the other hand? Teaching Danny how the criminal world works. Kid needs to learn how Gotham works. Can't have him die (er- turn fully ghosts? Yeah, he and Harvey don't understand Danny's halfa nature but they try and are supportive... They can't help but be reminded of themselves actually-) or Jonny's gonna be beyond pissed in a whole new level. Is actually rather strict, makes sure to put ground rules and boundaries with Danny compared to the rest of the parental unit that is Twoscriddler. Someone has to be the strict parent... How he and Harvey are considered the functional parent here is cause they actually practice self-care, well to an extent anyways, compared to his idiot lovers who would go days on end without eating, drinking, or sleeping, if the chance rises.

Harv, though rarely, would go into story mode as well to Danny, but in his perspective. There are many times he and Harvey hate each other but... They lived and went through the same life. Just differently. He mainly does this after something especially happened with Danny, like say, Danny nearly got shot...

Now, Edward on the other hand... Really depends on the version but in my opinion, he'd be indifferent with Danny at first, if a bit surprised. Jonny, with a kid? Now, isn't that interesting. Would definitely grow very fond of Danny very quickly, and if he learns that Danny's good with inventing and such, he is, for sure, gonna nurture those skills.

Eddie boy is gonna drag Danny to his workshop so they can bond over building shit. Also, VIDEO GAMES CAUSE YOU CAN NOT TELL ME OTHERWISE THAT EDDIE'S NOT A GAMER! Gets too competitive, too loud, just overall chaotic fun with Eddie also rambling about shit in the process. Just, the two are fucking gremlins and fueling each other's chaotic streak somehow cause while Eddie is an adult very full of himself, he acts too much like a child when he's relaxed and not trying to maintain his dignified image even though everyone has at least witness his childish streak at least once (this including his tantrums/meltdowns...)

The fun uncle/dad that managed to help Danny feel like a normal kid he wasn't able to be exactly due to living with mad scientists (who wanted to kill him later on even if they didn't know it was him). Eddie boy would also definitely help tutor Danny. Just that he may get impatient or teaches things too fast. Best that Jonny's there helping with tutoring so it's better paced and not going overboard.

But uh- yeah, it's gonna be a bit of mess when Harvey/Harv entered the shared apartment and see a random kid in there (who both resembles Jonny in some ways and also has the right coloration to be considered Wayne bait AND OH BOY-) huddled in blankets. Eddie would likely just walk past Danny, and after a few moments, walks backwards and stare at Danny, processing, before getting Jonny or Harvey, before trying to maybe interrogate? Depends if he slept or was hyperfocused on a project in his workshop.

[Also, @f4nd0m-fun, I swear, you've been fueling my need to create more Uncle Scarecrow content- DO YOU KNOW HOW HYPER AND EXCITED YOU MADE WHEN YOU @ ME!? Well, I think you're gonna see it when I do the reblogs... Just- XD, I'm having too much fun today/last night/lately (wtf is time anymore)]

#Answered #I think #dp x dc #dc x dp #edward nygma #harvey dent #Jonathan Crane #Danny Fenton #Uncle Scarecrow AU #Au of an Au #rambles that even I can't understand anymore cause brain is a mess #idk how to explain Jonny's dynamic with Danny but he cares. He's the most emotionally stunted though so- #Twoscriddler #dpxdc #idk if this even makes sense #or if this is ooc #either way I apologize and also not sorry #who gave me the power to create and write anymore? #I'm tired #i'm having too much fun #This is not edited #will I edit? probably not

[maladaptivedaydreamsx]

#look.. I've never been an apple girly and i doubt i will be bc i hate how they run things #..... but the whole ikevil stalling thing has been an extra layer of annoyance frfr #anyway here's their sneak peak pv thing for those interested in the en prologue #I'm just gonna wait for if/when we get to play it #atp im just too annoyed to care anymore #and the new silvio story is like $100 in ikepri? so yeah just.. fuck it all #my post 📫 #sourced content #just feelin tired as shet fam #ikevil #ikemen villains

[angel-of-sweet-revenge]

When your friend needs you to be there to comfort them, but you have no energy for serious conversations and so you're stuck wondering if youre being a selfish asshole or if youre justified in not wanting to be the one to sort their problems out

#vent #its not like they didnt offer to hear my problems. but i just dont want to talk about. or anything #i dont want serious conversations. i dont want to have to worry about other people. i just cant. #im just so fucking exhausted and i dont know if its talking to them and feeling drained by the fact that theyre going through something- #-and that i need to be the therapist or if im just sick. again. #plus yesterday i slept late. my mum made me cry (i think she was just tired out by that point in the day so i doubt it was personal) #and just #im fucking tired ok #and I'm sorry im a bad friend #i just dont have energy. i want to have good energy around me to try give me some. #but when theyre upset it gets into me and drains me and I've been there as much as i can but i just cant right now. im too tired #i know im a shitty person but literally everyone got to be a shitty person at my expense so isnt it my fucking turn? #and then assuming i was acting like that to hurt them. I DO NOT WANT TO HURT ANYONE. IF WE HAVE A FIGHT I WANT TO MOVE ON. #I'm not gonna be caught up in it if we resolved it #but yeah. long story short they're going through shit and i feel like shit #and i think them going through shit is what makes me feel like shit. because i worry about them #and they can lash out on me #i just dont know anymore. i dont know if im an awful person or not #last year i broke up with a friend and my mum said I'll do the same with the next friend #it wasnt my fault #that friend ghosted me #im trying not to be her rn too and im scared that ive been in the wrong im scared im a shitty person too #but at the same time im too done to even really care #i just wanna stop fucking feeling all this and just get on with my day

[running-in-the-dark]

.

#currently crying because I'm alone with my husband's 94 year old grandma and I'm the only one who ever lets her talk about certain topics #so she just talked about her childhood and youth for one and a half hours #which means. the war #I'm not gonna go into it but it makes me cry every time even though I've already heard it all before #how can you not cry about a child who lost two of her teenaged brothers and had to watch the third one very nearly die too #the stories about how careful they had to be because the police constantly went to every house and checked everything #how they had to hide some of the milk from their cows so they could make butter because they couldn't afford to buy it #and how dangerous that was. #idk I'm so tired of people dying over senseless and unnecessary shit forever and ever and nothing ever changes and no one ever seems #to learn from it #or at least the ones in power don't #as long as there's disposable people (men) to send to war it doesn't matter. and now that's not even necessary anymore you can just kill #people from far away and. I'm just tired #and I'll shut up now and not talk about these things again as usual. it's not because I don't care it's because it (literally) drives me #insane to think about it and I know it's weak and pathetic but I have to choose to stay just barely sane enough to stay alive #can't stop crying. 🙃 #anyway. shouldn't talk about it so. bye

[front-facing-pokemon]

#bonus under the cut where they're just a tiny bit closer because i couldn't decide which one was better #lairon #lairon is also pretty good. they have this Really big nose thing happening here which i'm not sure if it's supposed to be a nose or not #but it definitely looks like one from this angle. it definitely Looks like they're snifsnifsnifsniffing that kind of vibe #even though it's kinda on the top of their head. either way lairon is a steel-type and that's inherently cool #i very much like steel-types that look less like Objects or Mechanisms and more like Creatures. Animals. but that's just my personal taste #notably it's also part rock-type because reasons i guess so 4x weakness to fighting my belovèd. just like weavile #and ground also. but at least the rock typing nullifies steel's weakness to fire! in exchange for. a weakness to water #ahh well i dunno anything about the stats of this bitch. i assume they're good and very tanky because steel-type but i'm not #gonna look it up. i usually do but i am tired this morning and i need to just get some coffee and take my meds so i can call someone to #come pick me up and take me to fedex because i don't have a fucking car anymore and also driving is very scary and hard #probably my grandma. which is ironic because she's the one i sold my car to. she'd be taking me to fedex in my own car‚ technically #i dunno y'all. i need to work‚ too‚ so i should probably stop writing. y'all have a good day. brits out there take care with the heat wave #if that's still going on by the time this posts

[rosalesbeausderholle]

Don't know how to do the whole living under capitalism thing anymore sorry...

#liveblogging my life #i feel such an idiot for having such a hard time coping #bc like if i get fired I'll be fine #my parents have two apartments under their names #i will never ever be on the risk of homelessness #and likely not starving either #so like I don't have to have two jobs to make ends meet or whatever #I don't have children to take care of #abd yet this is killing me #post university life is killing me #before even with work i had like a purpose goals #now I'm not even doing anything i care about #I'm just wasting my life so that a company earns more money #under a boss who hates me bc he thinks I slack off (i don't!!!) #but I don't have time for myself #nor motivation to pursue any personal projects #and i end up too tired from work to do anything else #at all #not to mention how hard living with my girlfriend is #like i love her to death but god the constant socialization #it's exhausting #i want to have my room back! #I want to have any sense of control or direction as to how my life is going #and I don't have it anymore #my life is over #it's just work until retirement #no living in different places anymore #no more excitement #just... routine

[damiemontclair]

Is it ridiculous to think maybe this whole hospital thing and related business has mildly traumatised me? Is it ridiculous that I want to write about it in excruciating detail, just get the experience out on paper, on my blog, somewhere? It feels dumb but I want to write fic about it. I think it'd fix me.

#Still haven't really properly cried tho I am kinda tearing up as I write this #I'm not having a good mental health time rn ngl #The callous way some of the docs treated me; the way their sole focus was on reproduction without a single care for the hormones... #The generally terrible way I deal with surgery/post-surgery #It wasn't. As bad? The last few times? #I think I've also made myself forget a lot from the first 2 times #3rd time was more traumatising. #This last one tho... I never stayed for more than a night at the hospital. I never want to stay at a hospital ever again. #I never want to have surgery again #I swear if I have to do that again I will have my panic attack before they even put me under #It was so painful this time and people weren't listening to me at all when I told them the iv wasn't sitting right anymore #Nurses and doctors kept dismissing my opinions and wishes and needs.... #It was like as a patient you're less than human. #My arm is still bruised from where they fucked up their blood draws... #I'm so tired but I can't seem to rest #I'm so full of emotions but I can't seem to let them go and *cry* #Its like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop #Pls ignore me amd my rambles I'm just. Not doing too hot rn. #damie talks

[advisorsage]

I think I've fucked up

#i ranted to my girlfriend and i know she probably is just busy but my brain is screaming that i made her upset even though.. #my rant was about my own situation and how i feel about it and then i apologized for complaining at her and said that i wasn't supposed to #and I'm worried she thinks she's not supposed to complain to me when i just meant that i don't like telling people about my shit #and i know she said i could tell her and that she wants to support me but she and my boyfriend are my first relationships #and i don't want to fuck up and i think i have and i haven't told my boyfriend about my diagnosis yet #and I'm scared I'll complain at him too when i tell him and i don't care that he's told me i can and should complain to him #i don't want to saddle them with my complaints #and i called out of work because of how I'm feeling from my diagnosis and that's what i ranted to my girlfriend about #and i'm terrified she doesn't want to date me anymore because my reaction to being diagnosed with one more thing is so fucking pathetic #and i just need to cry and scream and throw up and i can't do any of those things and i feel like everyone except her is telling me #it's no big deal when it is a big deal and i don't think i got it through to my therapist and I'm just freaked out and i don't want to cling #and and and I'm just. i hate existing right now #i feel like i shouldn't do what i want to at home because i called out from work and i know that's stupid but i don't feel like i deserve #nice things right now despite needing them and I'm just so tired but not sleepy and i feel like I'm going to have a panic attack and #i can't even do anything about it! #fuck #i fucked myself over basically #anyway #drink water you heathens

[spill-the-t]

I'm allergic to cameras... my face is weird. I'm not even lying. It changes it's shape every freaking day 🙃

#why do people still take pictures of me #sometimes I wonder if just I see myself that way or do others look at the pics and think wtf? too?!? #meeh #pretty privledge not for me 😗✌🏼 #the little double chin every time I talk or just move my head 😩🤌🏼 #I'm literally so tired I can't even care anymore #well I still do care #maybe God was afraid of making me pretty because then... then I'd rule this fucking world I swear

[definitelynotnia]

I'm sick.

fuck this shit

#math exam is literally 24 hours away #i still have so much to do #i got my period this morning and I've been feeling super tired but i chalked it up to periods #i tried really hard to deny it all day #all night too #headache and body pain and sore throat and blocked nose ofc I'm sick #my boyfriend told me at 12 am to go sleep #it's 5 am #i should've listened cz now i have all of that plus fever #fuck thishonestly #even after staying up all night my brain was so slow i could only do like 3 chapters #i still have like 7 left #i hate this i hate this i hate this #ugh i feel like shit #i can't anymore I'm going to sleep i don't care

[aro-culture-is]

aromantic culture is hearing the "romance is part of human nature uwu" bullshit and jokingly coming to the conclusion that aros must be gods

.

#Anonymous #aro culture is #aro #aromantic #actually aro #actually aromantic #ask #mod axel #ugh i hate hate hate that stuff #honestly fuck the concept of human nature #being disabled and queer and trans and traumatized #i'm tired of being asked to defend the whole fucking concept of what is or isn't human #i'm dehumanized on too many fronts to give a shit anymore #and anyone who does the whole 'humanity is being human uwu' stuff really really really needs to follow physically disabled folks because #i guarantee that minor genetic variations in your so called human DNA can lead to dehumanization #i'm sick of people trying to define what it means to be human #because every time they swing and miss and hurt another group #so i'm just done with caring

[elliesbelle]

lol

#humungous trigger warning for the tags in the post #but i just need to vent somewhere and i don't want people irl to be in my business about this #or to get too worried and all... #tw: mentions of death and weapons and mental illness and suicide and sh-ing and abuse etc. #please feel free to ignore like i said i just need somewhere to vent #anyway i'm just so sick of being alive fr i've been so massively suicidal this past week and i'm so tired #having bpd AND bipolar AND depression AND ptsd and etc.... #it really hurts so much #and my personal life is in fucking shambles like i just don't know what to do anymore #i feel so fucking alone all the goddamn time #so many friends don't give a fuck about anymore like they straight up just don't check up on me or anything #and my ex... i just. why can't you be more fucking understanding of what i'm fucking going through because of you #how the fuck did you turn my months-long depressive episode into me not caring about you cause i couldn't open about what i was going thru #i get you were fucking lonely but i was trying not to fucking die i was over here being talked off ledges #and then sending me a voice memo saying that you were lonely and trying to make an effort but i just didn't care about any of it #it's not fucking about you!!!! i didn't even let my own girlfriend or best friend in!!!! that's what fucking mental illness is!!!!!! #you promised that you'd be more understanding about my mental illnesses when we started talking again #what the fuck is this then? #why am i breaking down every time that you ignore me or take forever to text #like... she's gone back to calling me by my name instead of calling me 'baby' like she always has #she hasn't called me by my name since we first started talking it's been literally fucking years #and not saying i love you to me anymore... #and how can you fucking promise to stay in my life and still be my 'friend' and then fucking ignore me and don't answer my text messages #how the fuck am i supposed to feel that you haven't responded to me in over 24 hours but you react to days old ig messages from me #i fucking hate having borderline for fucking real i hate that she's my fp it hurts so fucking much #i feel like a fucking child i can't deal with this #i literally woke up from my sleep at like 3 or 4 am this morning nearly screaming #and then my gf found me on the living room couch crying and cuts all over my arm and a kitchen knife next to me #my left arm has been stinging all day from the fresh wounds #too painful to bandage them at the moment