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#it makes me so sad because it used to be different
gunnerfc · 17 hours
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Change of Plans | Lia Wälti x Arsenal!Reader (18+) [Friday]
Summary: A teammate in need of a pick-me-up forces you to abandon the hookup date you had planned but leads to something more with a different teammate
Warnings: r is packing, bottom lia, top reader, strap use (lia receiving), oral (lia receiving) fingering (lia receiving), overstimulation, r calling lia ‘princess’ 
WC: 2.2k
Night After Night masterlist
You slipped your shoes on in a slight hurry before heading out the door to your car. You pulled your phone from your pocket to tell the woman you were meeting that you were leaving your place and would be there soon. You had a bit of a reputation for sleeping around, though it didn’t seem to bother you.
You slipped your phone back into the pocket of your sweatpants, you hadn’t made too much of an effort knowing your clothes would be on the floor most of the night. Just as you got comfortable in the driver’s seat, your phone dinged three times. You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion as to why your ‘date’ would be triple-texting you.
You pulled your phone out of your pocket once more and instead of your date’s number greeting you, it was a smaller group chat with a few of your teammates. You huffed slightly when you read Leah’s text asking for a movie night to help cheer her up. You wanted to be there for your friend but had someone waiting for you. You hesitated to respond because you knew the replies you would get from your teammates if you told no and why.
Before you could answer, everyone else had agreed and told Leah they would be there shortly. You cursed softly to yourself as you texted the woman that something come up last minute and you would have to reschedule. You texted the group chat you were on your way before tossing your phone into the passenger seat. You readjust yourself in the seat, forcing you to remember the strap on beneath your sweatpants.
You contemplated going back inside to change but you figured it wouldn’t be too noticeable. With a small sigh, you put the car in drive and headed the short distance to Leah’s place, ready to offer a comforting shoulder despite how needy you were feeling. You would just have to get through the movies before you could come home and take care of yourself.
You were the first to arrive at Leah's since you were already in the car when she texted. You waited outside her door for her to answer for a moment before the door swung open and an upset-looking Leah appeared. Seeing the blonde visibly sad instantly made you regret feeling upset at her initial text. You didn’t say anything as she let you inside and you pulled her into a small hug once the door closed. 
You two weren’t alone long before Lia, Steph, Beth, and Viv arrived. The only person missing was Jen but due to her recent move to America, she’d have to miss out on movie night. After quick hugs, everyone made themselves comfortable with snacks in Leah’s living room. Lia was the last to take a seat and due to the lack of space, the midfielder was seated right next to you with little space between you.
“Is this alright, y/n/n,” Lia whispered when the movie started, her thigh resting very close to yours.
You nodded your head with a small smile as you tried to focus on the screen in front of you. With your still present desire and Lia being so close to you, your thoughts were elsewhere. You and Lia had a very back-and-forth relationship after her breakup with Caitlin. Neither of you wanted to make the first move but that didn’t stop your thoughts from racing every time she was near you.
Throughout the movie, you kept rearranging yourself and each time you moved, the toy between your legs bumped your clit. You lost focus on the movie entirely, your sole focus was controlling yourself. You were thankful when the movie was paused to get more snacks, taking the opportunity to go to the bathroom. 
You groaned softly as you leaned against the sink, your breath heavy as you shook your head to rid your thoughts of your teammate. You turned the sink on and threw some water on your face, hoping it would help calm you down. You took a deep breath before opening the door, stopping in your tracks when you were face to face with Lia.
“Sorry, didn’t know you were out here,” your voice wavering slightly as you avoided her eyes.
“Are you okay,” the concern lacing her voice was evident as she stuck a hand out to hold your bicep.
You swallowed lightly at the feeling of her hands on your body and quicking nodded your head. You moved out of her way to let her into the bathroom so you could head back into the living room. Everyone waited while she was in the bathroom, small talk about the upcoming game filled the room. 
When Lia returned, she took her seat next to you but this time her thigh was pressed tightly against yours. Your eyes dropped to her thigh as Beth hit play, though you didn’t care. Lia turned her head slightly when she felt you staring at her, sending you a small smile as she patted your thigh.
The midfielder’s hand froze when she felt the strap on resting beneath your pants. You locked eyes with her as both of your breathing picked up. Your eyes dropped slightly to her lips and you licked your at the thought of kissing her. A loud bang from the TV forced your attention off Lia, though your thoughts were still racing when she had yet to move her hand.
The movie seemed to drag on for ages before the end credits started rolling and you mentally cheered at the thought of going home. You stood from the couch, making a lame excuse for not staying for more than one movie, and quickly hugged your teammates. When your arms wrapped around Lia, your breath hitched when she placed a small kiss on the side of your neck.
You yelled one last goodnight before stepping out the door, the cold London air hitting your face. You stood there for a moment before slowly starting to your car and before you could open your car door, Leah’s front door opened again. You watched Lia make her way toward you, a smile on her face as she did so. 
“You’re not staying,” you questioned with a raised eyebrow, your eyes falling to her lips once more when she was close to you.
“Figured you needed the company,” Lia teased as she stepped close to you, your faces inches from each other.
Lia leaned in first, her lips brushing yours lightly before you wrapped an arm around her waist to pull her as close as possible. Your lips easily dominated hers, Lia moaning into the kiss as she held your arm tightly. “My place,” you asked when you broke the kiss, though you moved to place light kisses along her jaw.
“I’ll um.. I’ll meet you there,” she nodded, gulping as you moved down her neck, sucking lightly.
You pulled back with a small nod, letting go of her waist and watching as she headed to her car. You quickly hopped in your car, not wanting to wait another second. You made it back to your place in record time and Lia wasn’t far behind you. You offered her a hand once she was out of her car and next to you, pulling her to your door. 
You quickly unlocked your door and pushed it open, pulling Lia through the threshold with you. You closed the door with your foot, dropping your keys by the table by your door and kicking your shoes off. Lia followed your actions and as soon as her shoes were off, her back was pressed against your door. Her hand tangled in your hair as your lips met hers once more, your hands gripping her waist tightly. 
You stayed in your spot for a moment as your lips fought each other, hands running over Lia’s body and pulling at her clothes. With your lips still locked, you guided her toward your bedroom, your hands pulling her shirt from her body as you moved. By the time you made it to your bedroom, both of you were without your shirts.
You pulled your lips away from Lia’s to remove her bra, throwing it to the floor aimlessly. Your eyes drop to her bare chest, leaning down to place a light kiss in between her breasts. Your hands dropped to the drawstring of the shorts she was wearing, pulling them loose and pushing them and her underwear down her legs. Your eyes scanned her bare body, licking your lips as you took in every inch of her body. 
You moved her toward your bed letting her lay down as you stripped your remaining clothes. Lia’s eyes fell to the strap between your legs, her thighs clenching as she felt herself grow wetter. You ran a hand from her calf to her thighs, pushing her legs open for you to lay between them. You placed kisses along her pelvic bone and the inside one of her thighs, earning a quiet moan from Lia.
You placed small kisses near her clit before kissing the sensitive bud softly. Lia’s thighs tried to close around you but you pushed one of her legs out to spread her out even more. A small whine of your name followed by ‘fuck’’ fell from her lips as her hips bucked up for more.
You could feel yourself growing wetter as you licked through her dripping folds, your nose hitting her clit as you licked up. You hook your hands around her thighs as you push closer to her, Lia’s back arching off the mattress as her eyes fall shut. Lia could feel herself close to coming, her hands tangling in your hair as she bucked her hips to meet the thrust of your tongue.
With a loud moan, Lia’s back arched off the bed as she let go, coming all over your mouth. You kept your movements going, bringing her close to a second orgasm before pulling away before she could cum again. You kissed up her body before your lips met hers, Lia moaning at the taste of herself on your lips. While your lips moved against each other, you moved a hand to grab the toy between your legs, lining it up with Lia’s cunt.
Lia pulled away from the kiss as her head fell back against your pillows when you pushed the strap on into her. You moved your arms to rest on either side of her head as she wrapped a leg around your waist. You moved your lips to her neck, sucking harshly to leave hickies along her skin. The midfielder arched her back once more, her chest hitting yours as you roughly fucked her.
Lia moved her hands to your back, her nails leaving indents from how tightly she was holding onto you. She was already close to a second orgasm so it didn’t take long for her to cum again. Your name fell from her lips in a broken chant mixed with her begging you to not stop.
“You’re taking me so well, princess,” you mumbled against her skin after a rough thrust. Lia whined at the praise, her eyes screwing shut as she let go once more.
You didn’t slow your hips as you fucked her, helping through her high while also bringing her closer to a third. You propped your hands next to her head as you snapped your hips, the base of the strap on offering you some relief as you fucked her. Your hips stuttered as you felt yourself close to the edge but you kept fucking her, wanting to make her cum as many times as you could.
“I’m gonna cum,” she whined as you thrust into her, her nails digging into your skin as she held you close.
“Cum for me princess,” you grunted, your own orgasm hitting you as you drilled into her. 
Lia came for the third time, her loud moans echoing off your bedroom walls. You panted above her as you calmed down from your orgasm, swallowing lightly as you caught your breath. You pulled the strap on out of her, a small whimper falling from her lips at the loss of contact.
You traced a hand down her torso, your fingers running through her soaked folds. “One more, princess,” you smirked, your fingers easily pushing into her. Lia whined softly, tears pricking her eyes from the immense amount of pleasure she was receiving. 
You pumped your fingers into her quickly, easily making her cum for the fourth time that evening. You pulled your fingers out of her, bringing them to your mouth to suck them clean as Lia lay beneath you with a fucked out expression gracing her face.
“You did so well, princess,” you cooed softly as you placed soft kisses all over her face. Lia whimpered softly at your praise, her mind foggy from how well you fucked her.
You removed the strap on from your hips, tossing it to the floor to be dealt with in the morning. “Get some rest,” you whispered against her hairline as she curled into you.
“What about you,” she sighed tiredly, exhaustion hitting her hard.
“Next time,” you whispered as her breathing evened out as sleep took over.
You two would have to talk about what this meant for the two of you but for now, you were content to just hold her as she slept. Your evening might not have gone how you originally planned but you were grateful you had to cancel on your date.
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afterglowsainz · 3 days
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the prophecy | max verstappen
summary: you and max can never agree on the same topic of conversation and it might be the thing that breaks you up
warnings: angst, some yelling
word count: 805
the tortured athletes department series
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you love max. you really do. but you hate when he brings up the same topic of conversation that you'll never agree on.
“i’m not moving to monaco.” you say for the million time.
“i’m just saying it would be way easier for us.” he answers unbothered while eating his dinner.
you avoid rolling your eyes at his comment and just decide to ignore him. since you got together, distance has been a complicated issue for you both. with max flying almost the whole year for races and then going home to monaco and you working and living in new york, the two of you only saw each other during breaks and when you could occasionally fly to see him race.
and yes, maybe it would make it easier if one of you just moved, but why did it have to be you? living in new york has been your dream since you were a kid and saw it in the movies, and now that you finally got a job that you enjoy in the city of your dreams, are you really gonna leave it? hell no.
“why don’t you think about it?” he insists.
you drop the fork you were holding on the plate creating an exaggerated noise.
“would you do it for me?” you ask, exhausted. “would you move to new york for me?” he shakes his head and went back to his dinner.
“is not the same.” he says. 
“why don’t you move to new york?” you ask instead. this caught his attention and he finally moved his eyes from the food to you. “what is it to you anyway? you’re traveling the whole time, i on the other hand, actually work here.”
“you can get a job in monaco.” he replies like he always did when the topic came up.
“i don’t want a different job!” you raise your voice. “and i don’t want to move to monaco.” he didn’t said anything, fearing that whatever came out of his mouth would disturb you more than you already were. “if you wouldn’t do it for me, why would i do it for you?”
you regret it the moment you said it, but it was too late now, it was out there. you could recognize the pain in max’s face from miles away and you felt a little guilty that you were relieved when you said it so you didn’t have to hide your thoughts on the topic anymore.
“because that is what people in relationships do, y/n.” he answers, his tone rather harsh. “you sacrifice things for each other.”
“why do i have to be the one to sacrifice things?” you couldn’t stop now that it was out there.
“why are you being so immature about this?” he exhales, a tired expression on his face which only made you angrier.
“i’m not acting “immature” about this.” you attack. “you just ask me to give up my whole life to go live in a complete different continent for you and i said no, period.”
“so what are we supposed to do, y/n?” he raise his voice at you also. “what are we doing here? playing around?” you frown, nodding your head in disbelief. “i love you too much but this long distance thing is killing me.” he admits.
to be fair, you weren’t the biggest fan of long distance either, but there was no other choice. it was either that or broke up, and you definitely didn’t want to break up.
“look, i know it is not perfect but what else can we do?” you ask, even though the answer was right there, it was obvious that neither of you was going to give in.
“this cannot be the thing that breaks us up.” he whispers but you heard him.
“of course we’re not gonna break up, max.” you say. “that seems extreme.” a grimace of sadness appeared on your face.
“well, i’m not sure what else…” he didn’t continue. “i’m not moving to new york.” he says with a serious tone. “and it seems like you’re not moving to monaco. and none of us wants to do long distance.” you kept quiet, trying to wrap your mind around what he was implying, praying that your conclusions were wrong.
“so?” you ask somewhat fearfully.
“so… i don’t know.”
“you want to end things?” you question straightforwardly, not wanting to wander anymore where his mind was.
“i don’t.” he answers. “but can we continue how we are?” his face was of true despair. 
“is it really this serious?” your voice was seconds away from breaking but you didn’t want to look shattered in front of him.
“you tell me.” he says with a lump on his throat.
you couldn’t help but wonder if this was always how it was going to end.
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railingsofsorrow · 2 days
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5 hours apart
[spencer reid x reader]
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summary: “I miss you. I miss you so much it hurts.” “I don't want you to miss me. It's tearing me apart.” from this prompt list.
pairing: spencer reid x svu!detective!f!reader
w.c: 3.7K
warnings/content: long distance relationship; crying; sadness; discussions of a case related to kidnapping (brief); migraine; this o.s approaches healthy siblings dynamic and some childhood trauma, be aware; discussions about marriage; spencer does not beat the pipe cleaner allegations.
A/N: decided to do a crossover one shot between criminal minds and law and order: svu (my newest obsession)because I love both shows (and nick amaro has older brother vibes) and it fit pretty well. there's like a few Spanish terms that I used and please consider that I did Spanish in high school and had a few classes afterwards, forgive me if I made some misspellings.
navi
masterpost
cm masterlist
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There are two missed calls on your phonescreen when you turn it on. The heavy load of paperwork you needed to finish plus the migraine that did not leave you alone forced you to turn your phone off during the daytime so you could concentrate on working. Amanda and Fin telling you to go home wasn't as effective as your boss ordering the exact same thing upon seeing your tired state. Thankfully, by the time he did that, you had already finished everything and you happily obliged.
The keychain clinking against the doorknob makes you drop your shoulders in relief. You aren't home but it's close enough. It's been a few months since you have stepped into your brother's place, but it's the same as you remember. Grey couch, the spotless kitchen island that you can see as soon as you walk in, the innumerous pictures of your brother and your niece scattered around the walls.
You throw your dark brown blazer on the loveseat across the room and sit on the couch unceremoniously, pressing play on the latest voice message.
“Hey... It's me. I called you before and it went straight to voicemail, I... I forgot to say something.” You snort, hair falling off of your ponytail as you let it loose down your shoulders. Never have you ever seen your boyfriend forget something. “I'm sorry I couldn't make it. I know I promised and I really wanted to go but the case, it was a serious one, they needed me.” The guilt in his voice breaks a part of you inside. “I-I'm sorry I let you down.” There's a beat, some voices in the background that you can't make out who it is because they're too far away. “I love you and I'll make it up to you, okay? Call me when you can, please.” And the message ends.
You only notice you start crying when a sob echoes through the room and the sound comes from you.
You were never mad at him. Deep down, you expected him to cancel on you because of a case, you knew you would if you were needed. Both if you are not the kind of people who let your people hanging, especially if the reason is work. And that's fine, when you started dating Spencer, that was the first thing you understood, as he did.
Being far away from him is what kills you. You manage to work long-distance. He visits you on his (rare) day-offs, you escape for a few days to Virginia. It works. It's how you do. But there are moments in which you just need him close and it's not like you can drive over to his apartment right away. 5 hours apart does that to a couple. It's not unbearable, but it's painful.
You miss him.
So you dial the number you know by heart, sniffling quietly on your bubble of loneliness in the empty apartment.
You don't know where he is, if he's home, if he's in a completely different timezone. You don't care.
It rings twice before his voice fills up the call. “Hi—Hey, angel.” He sounds frantic. You smile thinking he must have been waiting for your call.
“Hey, Spence,” you respond, folding your knees on the couch. “Are you home? I didn't text first to see if it was a good time to talk, sorry.”
“It's always a good time to talk to you.” He says without hesitantion. “I'm on the motel, packing.”
“Oh, so did the case end okay?”
You can feel the relief through his exhale. “Yes, we found the boy on time. He's finally back with his parents. Home.”
Your mouth twitches, “that's good.” And you make sure to add as you always do, “you saved a life today, I'm proud of you.”
His soft awkward chuckle causes a tearful grin out of you. You can practically see him blushing.
“Thank you. It was... It's a good feeling.”
“Are you happy?”
“Not really.”
You brows furrow slightly. “Why? Did something happen?”
“I miss you,” he says. “I am happy that we saved someone today, of course but... You know, the first person I wanted to tell it to was you. I just— I miss you. So much it hurts.”
You close your eyes as the tears slip one by one down your cheeks, you felt their salty taste. Your chest clenching as you stay silent for what feels like several minutes until Spencer's concerned tone breaks the silence.
“Angel?”
“Please don't miss me. It's tearing me apart.” Your request doesn't quite make sense but you don't have time to think it through before you say it. It just what comes out of your heart.
“Please, don't cry.”
You let out a tearful laugh, attempting to dry your tears foolishly.
“I'm always missing you, sweetheart. I'm sorry but that's inevitable.” He adds, sadly.
“It hurts so fucking much.”
Spencer clears his throat and you know he's either refraining from crying himself or trying to mask it.
“I know. I'm sorry.” He pauses. “I wish I was there.”
You shake your head even though he can't see it. “'s not your fault. It's your job, you can't help it.”
"I hate it that you're crying and I'm not there to comfort you."
"I'm fine," you whisper, sniffling. "Don't worry about me. Today was just... A shitty day, really."
"Do you want to talk about it?"
You hum, fiddling with the soft fabric of the light green hand-knit throw blanket your brother always left on his couch. "Migraine." It's what you say and all he needs to know to wince in the other side of the line.
"Did you take something for it?" Spencer is aware of your frequent migraines and how much they bother you.
"Yeah, it's okay now." You reply even though there's a little painful pang in the back of your back right now.
"Maybe you should try to sleep a little. Did you know that sleeping seven hours every night impacts on your focus, body weight and immune system? Actually, adults aged from sixteen to sixty years should all get at least seven hours sleep every night, but that's almost never happens because of people's usual hectic work schedules-" He sucks in a breathe upon noticing he's rambling non-stop. You laugh and suddenly the harsh grip on your heart diminishes a little. His voice appeasing the momentary heartache you're going through.
"Says you. Who never sleeps, anyway. And work on caffeine 24/7."
"Hey," his tone has a tinge of amusement but he pretends to be offended. "I sleep."
"You do when I'm there. Cause I force you."
"Oh, you're so cruel to me, angel."
Your lips widen into a smirk. "That I am."
The conversation carries on for a while, until you figure out which time it is where he is and immediately orders him to go to sleep because he has an early flight to catch in the morning. He's reluctant, but he eventually lets it go because you need to sleep too and you will talk in the next day again.
Before he hangs up, he asks, the first time he hesitates in the call. "Uh, does- does your brother hate me?"
Your brain takes a few seconds to grasp what he's implying, until you remember what was supposed to happen this weekend. Spencer would come over to your place in New York to meet your brother.
You bite your lip, straightening your legs out on the ouch. "Yeah, about that..."
"He does, doesn't he? I don't blame him, I did screw up-"
"Wait, baby, that's not it. I... I actually didn't tell him." A pause, you curse under your breath. Now he must thing you didn't want him to come. "Spence?"
"Did I pressure to do something you didn't want? I should have asked you if you wanted meet to meet him, right? I think I kind of invited myself over and-"
"Stop." You cut him off. "No, Spencer. You didn't pressure me into anything. I want you two to meet, of course I do. You're one of the most important people to me, but I really forgot. I'm not making up an excuse."
"Alright, yeah. Okay." He says and you hear a door closing and wood creaking. He must be sitting on the bed.
"I love you." You receive the mental image of the scrunch of his nose and the smile he can't help whenever you drop the L bomb out of nowhere. "And you know he doesn't have to approve anything, right? Nick has no say in who I date or not."
"But he's your brother, he's important to you and I would meet him someday anyway because- I, well." Your body shakes with laughter and the phone almost drops from your hand.
"What, are you proposing now, genius? Through the phone, really?"
"Don't make fun of me." Spencer warns playfully.
You take a few seconds to process that he doesn't deny it. You said it as a joke but he didn't even deny it that he thinks about marrying you. God, your chest could combust.
"You think about it?" You ask, shifting your position to bring your knees to your chest. "Us? Someday?"
"You mean getting married to you? Yes. I do. We haven't discussed it yet, but... Yes, I do think about it."
"Mhm."
"Has it ever... crossed your mind?" He's reluctant, shy to ask even. You find it cute as everything Spencer Reid does. Marriage is something that never really crossed your mind, to be honest. You think is nice when people get married and show their love to their loved ones, but your parents' relationship carved a fear deep within your chest and your entire perception of love had to be relearned through the years they separated. One thing that you learned is that no person and no relationship is the same. It's not because your father broke your trust and destroyed a part of your and your brother's childhood that your future partners will do the same. It is easier said than done, but you're coming around to the idea.
"Not before you." You admit quietly.
"Oh."
“Yeah.” You ponder out loud. “It scares me a bit, that I consider spending the rest of my life by your side. Doesn't it scare you?”
“It does,” he replies. “But the idea is nice to think about.”
You smile, letting out a soft breath. “Yeah, it is nice.”
A male voice calls out for him in his end and you know he has to go. You had already taken up much of his time, anyway.
“They want to go to a bar nearby to celebrate.” Spencer explains to you, not sounding too thrilled about the idea.
You snicker, “go have fun, genius. You deserve it. Try to enjoy it even if this is not your usual idea for fun. I love you.”
“I love you more.” Spencer says and laughs at your groan of protest on the other side.
“We're not going to be one of those couples who never hang up because you love me more or no, I love you more, Spencer.”
“I just like to mess with you.” He admits with an edge of amusement to his tone. And damn you miss the smirk you know he's making right now.
“Yeah, I know. Now go, have fun. And have a safe flight tomorrow, text me when you land?”
“Of course, angel. Try to sleep a bit, you need the rest.”
You smile. “Sure. Bye, Spence.”
“Bye, angel.”
An hour or two goes by since your phone call with your boyfriend and manage to cook some dinner and then throw yourself back on the couch while a random show is played on TV. You end up falling asleep and wake up upon hearing the jiggling keys against the door of your brother's apartment, rubbing your eyes in your disoriented sleepy state. Checking your phone, the screen says 11p.m.
Nick stops midway from his way to the couch, where he was probably about to throw himself at. From his tired eyes and hunched over stance, you are able to tell how exhausted he is. “Why are you always here?” Nick throws himself on the floor instead, his head falling against your knees. The tone he used would make you slap him right behind his ear, if you weren't still with your mind in that phone call and a million miles away from New York. “I thought you rented an apartment. Or is it that you just miss me?”
“I don't miss you.” You mumble, voice muffled by the soft fabric of the blanket covering half of your face. “I see you every day, idiot. How can I miss you.”
Nick raises an arm towards your calf and you immediately kick his hand away before it can get to your feet. He chuckles, fluttering his eyes open for the first time since he got home. He glances up at you, who's glaring at him. His smile falls.
“What's wrong?”
You shrug, pulling your knees up to your chest and turning your head towards the TV. You weren't paying attention since the show started, you had no idea what is going on. “I cooked dinner. Left you a plate on the microwave. Go eat, I bet you didn't have a proper meal. You never do.”
“That's not true—”
“Eating burritos isn't a proper meal, Nick.” You groan as he tries to take another look at your face. “Stop it. I'm fine.”
“Yeah, I don't buy it. What happened?” If there's one thing your brother is, that thing is anxious. Nick is a worrier. And he's completely paranoid about knowing what's going on to find a solution before the time runs out. Even if there is no time to run out. He gently tips your chin up, frowning. “Why have you been cryin’?”
You turn your face away from his reach, sitting up on the couch. You take a moment to form your answer and he's anxiously waiting for it, coffee-brown eyes inspecting your matching ones.
You decide to go simple, but it's also the truth. “'s not a good day, that's all.”
He blinks and then the concern opens some space for understanding in his expression. And just like that, he figures out what's been making you upset. You don't doubt that he really knows, since your brother and you always understand each other with a look.
“D'you wanna talk about it?” His usual sarcastic tone gives place to a softer one. The one he uses in moments where his little sister needs her older brother.
You shrug, letting out a sigh before resting your head against the couch, eyes studying the ceiling. “It's nothing, I just... I miss Virginia, that's all.”
Nick hums, nodding. “You mean you miss the skinny kid from the FBI.”
A laugh bubbles out of you unexpectedly, you playfully shove his shoulder as he offers you an unimpressed look.
“Stop being mean to him.”
“Me?” Nick pulls himself up to the sofa, groaning when his joints complain as he stands up. “'m not being mean to anybody.”
“Okay, grandpa.”
“Hey,” he throws a pillow at you, narrowing his eyes threateningly. “you don't get to be mean to me.” You roll your eyes. There he goes playing the older card that just makes him look exactly like an elderly. “Why don't you take a few days off? I can't remember the last time you did that.” Before you can respond to that, he frowns, turning to you as if he just had thought of something. “Or why doesn't the skinny kid come and visit you? It's not that hard.”
“He was gonna to that this weekend.” His raised eyebrow makes you sigh and shake your head. “He had a case last minute, so he couldn't.”
He pauses, munching on his cheek. You question his thoughtful expression.
“What? No jokes now?”
“It's serious then? You and him.”
You blink at him, puzzled by the question. It wasn't what you expected. “W—yes. Why would you ask that?” He had walked up to the kitchen to grab a bite of whatever you had made him and you followed right behind.
“Nothin’,” he says, turning the microwave on and stepping towards the fridge to grab something to drink. “I just never saw you in a serious relationship.”
You pause.
Okay, you had a few flings in your life, it's not like your love life is messy, it is actually pretty simple. You and the people you've previously have relationships (or situationships) enjoyed having fun. You weren't looking for anything serious and when you were... well, your job got in the way. Until Spencer Reid. He's the unexpected occurrence that showed up during a local case to investigate a series of murders in the city of New York and both of your teams worked together. If someone told you before that you would get attached so quickly to someone and consider driving five hours just because you missed them then you would have laughed in their face.
Your brother might actually have a point. He had never seen you in a serious commitment before, he has, however, had the opportunity to try and scare off some of your partners — the ones he accidentally met, at least.
“I don't need to disclosure every aspect of my love life to you, Nicholas.”
You crossed your arms as the corner of his lips lift in a knowing smile. “Stand down, tiger. I just made an observation, no need to get defensive.”
“I'm not.” You say, shifting on your feet, suddenly self-conscious with the whole conversation. It's difficult to talk about someone so important to you to another someone that's important to you. You've never share much about your personal life and inner struggles with anybody, and that has everything to do with the man you call “father” in the biological sense. But Spencer managed to push through these walls and he didn't demeaned you because of your trauma, neither did he treated you as if you were made out of glass, that you could shatter at any given second. He understood you and you understood him, which is why love has always been within your reach in your relationship. It was only a matter of time.
“He's important to you, isn't he?” The microwave beeped but none of you move.
“Yes.” You utter, playing with the ring on your index finger. “I know we don't— we don't talk about these stuff...”
“We can if you want to—”
“No, it's not— That's not it. I mean. You're my brother and we have a good communication but I never felt the need to formally introduce anyone to you because you're family, Nick. You're my only family,” you finally look at him. “If it ever got to the point, one day, where it was worth it for me to do that, then I would. I just thought that I wasn't made for love, you know?”
You see him rushing to disagree with you and probably say you can't think like this and that is not true, so you intervene before, smiling.
“But I know that that is not true, alright? Porque le quiero y sé que él también.” His eyes soften at your claim and you feel like crying again because you miss Spencer and you wish he's there with you. “So yeah, it is serious. And the reason he was going to come visit me was to meet you properly.”
“What?”
“Yes. That was my reaction too.” A fond smile takes over your mouth. “He insisted he wanted to meet you because he knows how important you are to me.”
“Oh.” He is officially caught off guard and it makes you chuckle. That is a rare image you're seeing in front of you. No one catches Nick Amaro off guard. One point to Spencer, I guess. “Well, now I just have to meet this chico who stole my sister's heart.” He's back to his playful persona, lifting a hand to ruffle your hair, and you flip him off. “Let's see if he is all that you claim he is.”
“He's a good guy, asshole.” He hums, munching on his food. “You'll see,” you say with a small grin while you turn back to the living room to lay back on the couch.
“We'll see.” He mumbles from the kitchen, shaking his head when a thought crosses his mind. He can't believe you fell in love, he still sees you as an annoying toddler who wouldn't let him be at school while he was trying to impress his friends because you were too shy to make your own and would cling to him like a lifeline. In all honesty, Nick has always enjoyed your company, it makes him feel grounded. He cares about your well-being and tries to protect you from every bad thing you have to face, but he knows he can't. Sometimes, you gotta face things on your own. And, sometimes, you don't need your older brother to shield you from pain. It's hard for him to accept that, especially after what you both endured through your lives.
You're all grown up now and he has to stand down his overprotective side because you can handle things, he knows you do. Though he'll be there, in the corner, having your back as always. Because that's what brothers do.
Hopefully, this Spencer Reid will pass the test.
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[translation]
Porque le quiero y sé que él también. = because I love him and I know that he does too
chico = boy, kid
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taglist: @lilyviolets ; @whore-for-spencer-reid ; @yeonalie @ninkieminjaj ;
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nicksbestie · 3 days
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i know it won't work - C. Sturniolo
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Summary : "part of me wants you back, but i know it won't work like that"
Warnings : very angsty. crying, heartbreak, yk the drill. nothing triggering though!
Word Count : 1000
Pairing : Chris Sturniolo/Reader (past romantic)
A/N : i was listening to this song in the car this morning, and boom here comes this fic idea!
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You regretted ever moving to Boston.
You hated the city, hated who it reminded you of. You couldn’t leave your house without feeling trapped in the space that you had once adored to travel with the person you had loved with your entire heart. If you had the money, you would have moved far away by now. All you could do was be so grateful that the two of you hadn’t moved in together, because you would have actually had to leave. As much as you hated that you were still here, leaving would have torn the pieces you were already in right into shreds. 
You sat in front of the empty closet in your guest room, tears rolling down your face as you processed that it would stay empty for a long time. You couldn’t bring yourself to fill it, wanting it to stay empty just on the off chance that he came back, that he needed someone, somewhere to stay, somewhere to put his things. If he needed space that he could only find in your home, you would have space for him. He could inhabit that space for as long as he wanted, as he inhabited your heart still, living in it despite how tightly it was clenching in pain, as if to squeeze him out.
You couldn’t bear the thought that he might never come back, that you really may never see him again, that you might not get to love him again like you used to. How could you bring yourself to deal with the idea that this might be it? Your number wasn’t blocked, but it seemed like he couldn’t find a way to softly tell you that there was no chance he was coming back, so he simply left all of your texts on delivered. Despite how heartbroken you were, you knew there was no way that you could go back to loving him in a non romantic way. There were two ends of the spectrum, and you knew that you would either love him endlessly, or hate him relentlessly. You hoped it never came to be the latter.
Chris knew you were still waiting on him. He knew you were hoping he would change his mind, that he would turn around and run back to him, and the breakup was killing him as well. He couldn’t lie to himself like he could to you, he had thought about going back. He had thought about claiming it was all a lapse in judgment, that he still loved you with everything in him, but he worried that he wasn’t worth all of the hope you were saving for him. He’d paced around his room so much that he had nearly worn holes in the floor, and even his brothers had begged him to fix things, but he just couldn’t do it. He really did believe that this was the best move for the both of you, but he couldn’t deny the doubt creeping into the back of his mind. After all, it had been a long relationship, one spanning just over five years. How could he just let that go?
You’d run into each other in a store, and you’d both seen your face on the other person’s. The dark under eye circles, the bloodshot eyes, the signs of sadness sinking into your bones. Neither of you could speak to the other one, simply staring before Chris broke the eye contact, walking away. It killed you to look into his eyes knowing that he clearly didn’t want you back, an opinion so different from how you felt. You didn’t know that he did want you back, desperately, but was trying to make it easier for you by cutting things off. He wished that you would find someone else, that you’d put yourself out there, because seeing you with someone else might help him snap back into reality, help him get over it as well. 
He was torn. He knew you were still holding on to him, and part of him wanted you to let go, wanted you to move on, to love someone who wasn’t him, but the other part of him wanted to shrivel up and die at just the thought of your arms around anyone who wasn’t him, your lips on anyone else’s skin. But it would make it easier for him to realize that you really weren’t his anymore, and maybe that was just what he needed. Maybe. He had broken up with you in person, knowing that he owed you at least that, but the call to you to ask when he could come pick up his things from your place had been one of the hardest calls you’d ever received. The ghost of your relationship being inside your apartment had made the entire building feel haunted.
He knew he was being an idiot, but he wanted to think that his heart was in the right place. Both of his brothers knew he was being an idiot, to the point that Nick showed up to talk to you, and Matt was talking to Chris, desperately trying to fix things between the two of you. The conversation between you and Nick just ended up with you sobbing in his arms, him trying to convince you that it would be okay, that Chris loved you, that he would realize and he would come back. The one between Matt and Chris wasn’t going much better, Chris having angry tears streaming down his face, trying to convince Matt and himself that it was for the best.
“It isn’t going to work.” 
“Make it work.” 
You were in Nick’s arms, silent, enjoying the comfort but hating why you needed it, when your phone dinged from behind you. Nick picked it up, checking who it was before nudging you.
“Here. You want to read this.” 
Chris <3 : I know I tried to cut all ties but you’ve never left my mind. Can we make this work?
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taglist : @blahbel668 @mattsgirlfrieeend @69isabella69 @mayhem-72 @iculdstealurgf @iluvm4ttsturni0l0 @sturnioloslife @heartsforkarina @nervousrebelglitter @sturniclo @elliegrace-7 @mattsturnioloisbae @strnilo @dazsha19 @patscorner @hailee22sstuff @tworosesblackthorn @h3arts4harry @getosuckers @knhxa @scoobydoosnack @tapesmatts @st7rnioioss @st7rnioiossblog @jamiesturniolo @sofie-1 @muwapsturniolo
~ if you'd like to be added to my taglist, click here!
~ my inbox is open, come chat!!
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sailor-aviator · 1 day
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Hey.
Go ahead and get settled because this will be...long, in true Liz fashion.
So, by now I'm sure most of you have heard what's happened. If not, you can search this blog for some answers or others for more.
I joined this fandom offiicially at the end of September after being a long time lurker. I had just lost my job and times were uncertain for me. I felt inspired to write, and as someone whose formative years were shaped by the fandom experience, I wanted to feel that sense of belonging again - to feel like a part of a community. I've talked about it on here before, but I started my fandom days in the original Hunger Games fandom when the first movie had just come out, and then I shifted gears towards the SuperWhoLock fandom. If you know anything about SuperWhoLock, then you know you had to have pretty tough fucking skin to be a part of any of it.
Of course, this was back in the day when fandom was an actual community and not authors having to beg for scraps of engagement and people thinking its a numbers game. I was a fairly large blog within the SuperWhoLock community (Waywardly-Carrying-On was the username), but I left fandom for a few years because life got hectic and I felt like I had outgrown the fandom itself as I was no longer watching any of the shows. As the years went on, I started to yearn for the fandom experience again, which is how I found myself dipping toes into several different ones.
I was so excited to publish my first fanfic. I had convinced myself that I wasn't a good writer (much to the chagrin of my irl friends), and I had put a pause on writing my original story. I wanted to write this idea about a cowboy and a girl using characters that I had grown to love like I did way back in my older days. So, I started posting, and I was so excited for the story, that I kept posting almost daily. MamaMay was one of the first people to embrace not only my story, but me as a person into the fandom. She made me feel welcomed and wanted.
Pretty much right off the bat I was already getting anons telling me that I was being too much and that I needed to calm down with all the posting. I was confused because...this is Tumblr. It's literally a blogging website? Why wouldn't I post? I decided to ignore the mean words (not before giving my opinion, of course) and kept on doing my thing. Well, the anons got continually worse and worse. I had a suspiscion as to who the anons could be, but I never had concrete proof. So, I experimented with blocking suspects until finally it worked. I'm not naming names because that's not my style, so don't even bother asking.
The fact of the matter is, some of you have entered fandom spaces for the first time, and you don't know how to act. You don't care to learn fandom etiquette as you've made abundantly clear by calling fandom olds every name under the sun while utilizing the anonymous feature. Newsflash, you're part of the problem. You're the reason why authors don't want to publish anymore. You are the reason that something that's supposed to be fun is starting to feel like a goddamn chore.
How many times can authors on here say that we aren't machines? We have lives outside of this website: family, friends, jobs, school, etc. Some of you really are just hellbent on making everyone around you miserable, and it's sad. You can't just leave well enough alone and let people enjoy something, no you feel like everyone has to enjoy it the same way as you.
Some of you go after authors on here because of some weird sense of jealousy too. I don't know why my shit blew up, babe, I really don't. But I started out with no followers and no support just like everyone else. I'll tell you what helped me though: following fandom etiquette and reaching out to other creators to build an actual community. None of this "I've reblogged three of your things and now I'm messaging you so that you return the favor." No, I reached out to make actual friendships which is what fandom is SUPPOSED to be. If someone was clearly not interested, it was fine!! I backed off and kept doing my own thing.
Some of you think being mean on the internet makes you big and bad. Guess what! It doesn't! It's loser mentality and I feel genuinely sorry for you. I'm sorry that people in your own life made you feel so small as to feel like you had to lash out at strangers on the internet who are just trying to have fun.
Anyway, this is my really long way of saying that I am taking a break for a little bit. I have no idea how long it will be - could be the weekend, could be a couple of weeks, could be forever. I need time to decide if this is something I want to keep persuing. If I come back, I don't know if I will remain a TGM blog or if I'll shift gears and hop into another fandom with a rebrand. Guess we'll just have to see.
To the people on here who have been a constant source of joy, laughter, and support: thank you. From the bottom of my heart. Your presence has meant everything to me, and I hope that my break sees me wanting to come back and giggle about the silly plane movie with you all again.
Nothing but love,
Liz 💛
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commander-rahrah · 3 days
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I'm excited to read it too! I'm glad you find it interesting! Don't worry about your post because long! Your thoughts are so interesting!
I agree that Astarion would have to come to terms with Reader/Tav's boundaries too since it works both ways! I definitely feel that Astarion would be too lost in drinking from the blood of a sentient creature to notice the signs.
He would feel ashamed when he's aware of their fear yet they still chose to offer despite that might made him feel like he manipulated them like Cazador did to him 😭
What his excuses are if they try to offer in the early days makes sense! He would be too ashamed & terrified to have such a vulnerable conversation with them yet 😞
He would feel safe enough to bring up their fear after he confessed about everything. He would make it clear to them he doesn't want them to suffer by making them do something they don't want to like he did especially after how much they have helped him & how important they are to him 😭
He would respect their decision if they said it's too much for them. He would support everyone's personal choices & autonomies even though the concept is still new to him 😤
He would need an explanation if they insist on feeding him regardless of their fear. They would explain that not only do they trust him, they love him more than they fear it 🥹
He would only accept if they establish some ground rules 👍 like he did when it comes to physical intimacy & sex which is healthy for both of them!
I know it's unrelated but thank you for adding this because you described me pretty well 🤣 I would definitely react to even the smallest of cuts so Astarion quickly but gently sucking it & giving a small kiss on it would be a fantastic distraction 😳
You're welcome! Thank YOU for entertaining me & sharing your thoughts! I'm glad you enjoy putting Astarion and Tav/Reader in all these different scenarios too 🤍
Here's my idea that I would love to hear your opinion! Just to let you know this is quite self-indulgent XD How would Astarion react to GN! Reader/Tav actually had suspicions that he's using them but still chose to believe that he's not. So when he confessed he manipulated them, they're even not angry at him.
They're sad for how much & how long he has suffered to be the way he is now, but they're also genuinely hurt that he did take advantage of their trust in him. They don't blame him but they admit it still hurts and wants some time alone to process it.
After leaving them be, they would go to him when they're ready to talk to him. They would tell him how grateful they are that he chose to come clean with them despite knowing how it would be easier for him to keep quiet for it, and thanked him for trusting them enough to be honest with them.
What do you think of it? I'm curious :3
Hi Anon! Sorry for the super late response, I let this one stew for a little while in my brain and the other night I had this dialogue idea and couldn’t resist writing a little scene about it tonight! I hope you enjoy ❤️
I envisioned this scene happens half way through his confession, and then imagined the rest of the conversation about intimacy and boundaries would happen afterwards! It’s about 1100 words, and canonical Astarion backstory warnings apply — trauma, dark thoughts, etc.
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“I just — I feel awful." Astarion’s throat worked silently, his eyes glancing down to his boots. "Look, I had a plan. A nice, simple plan — seduce you, sleep with you, manipulate your feelings so you’d never turn on me. It was easy — instinctive. Habits from two hundred years of charming people kicked in." He finally looked up at your face, studying intensely for your reaction. 
“I—oh,” You pulled your hand away from him as uncertainty flooded your features. He saw your eyes dart back and forth, but they weren’t studying him. No, you were lost in thought. “Oh.”
Astarion licked his lips, his hands ringing together in front of him nervously. “You have every right to be angry.”
“I’m not angry. I thought we… I don’t know what I thought.”
The rest of what he had planned to say vanished out of his mind. Instead it started to betray him, a cruel voice whispering about how he knew you would react like this. Did he really think it would go well?
His pink mouth hung open as he scrambled for what to say, trying to think of how to make this better. But he’d done enough already, hadn’t he?
You crossed your arms over your body, your cheeks flushing deeply. “I feel a bit like a fool. None of it was real, the whole time?”
“Not the whole time,” He confessed as soft, vulnerable moments with you flashed in his mind. The very moments that made him start to drop the act. “It hasn’t been as of late, but before… in the beginning, up until recently, yes.”
His red eyes followed your throat as it bobbed up and down before flicking back up to your face. Your eyebrows were furrowed, your mouth a sad pout.
“Tell me what you’re thinking.” Astarion whispered, not daring to move forward.
“I’m thinking… I need a moment.” You admitted, already looking behind you and away from him.
His heart sank, but he nodded. “I— okay. Of course.”
And then you were off, your head down as you stalked away from the edge of the beach and back to the warm glow of camp.
He stood there stunned for a moment, before turning around to stare at the dark, choppy waters in front of him. Hundreds of scenarios began to dance in his mind — what if you went back to the camp to tell the others? Would he be met by pointed blades and blazing spells? He imagined being kicked out, staked, cursed, roasted alive with fireballs. Hand delivered to Cazador as extra punishment for his sins. Anything his twisted broken mind could come up with played like a messed up vision.
Astarion didn’t even try to stop the repetitive dark thoughts. It was what he deserved.
Eventually, the vampire slinked back into the camp some time later — once the sky was inky black and the moon was the only light to illuminate the way back to his tent.
“Hi.”
The sound caused his ears and shoulders to perk up instantly. You were sat in the grass and dirt outside of his tent, your arms wrapped around your knees and pulled to your chest.
“Hi.” Gods, he sounded breathless. But he couldn’t see any weapons or angry barbarians or wizards nearby. That was a good sign, right?
“I wasn’t sure when you’d come back.”
He cocked a brow, “I figured you wouldn’t want to see me again.”
A sigh escaped your lips, “Astarion, don’t be dramatic. I asked for time to think — not for you to leave.”
He blinked at your sharp tone, but nodded his head in slight defeat. “You’re right. And you waited for me because—?”
You brushed off your clothes as you stood up to his height, “I would like to finish that conversation, if you’re ready.”
Well, there was no denying the inevitable.
He nodded his head solemnly, stepping forward to open the flap of his tent and inviting you in with a wave of his hand.
The privacy his tent offered was slight, but this late in the night he knew most of his companions would be fast asleep. Quickly lighting a lantern, he joined you on the fabric floor.
His half-dead heart was thundering, the thrumming sound echoing in his pointed ears that he almost missed your quiet voice.
“I understand.”
“What?” His brows furrowed, looking at you with confusion.
“The stories you’ve told me… your scars… I understand why you did it, why you felt the need to do it.” You explained, your voice and eyes tender as you looked at him in the low light. “But you manipulated me, Astarion. You took advantage of me, toyed with me and my emotions to get what you needed. That hurts.”
Astarion’s stomach twisted into a hard knot, “I know.”
“But you also didn’t need to tell me any of this. You could have kept pretending, kept up the charade until we faced Cazador… But you didn’t. Why?”
Now it felt like his stomach was crawling up his torso and into his throat. Gods, what was this feeling? Why did you do this to him. “That’s what I was trying to tell you before. I failed with my plan. It felt apart the moment I realized… that I had fallen for you.” He admitted, but his fluttering heart made more words stumble out of his mouth. “And I know you probably don’t believe me, why would you after everything I just told you. Trust me, nobody feels more stupid about it than I do.”
You cut off his rambling, “I don’t think it’s stupid. I think that’s probably the most honest you’ve been with me since I’ve met you,” You said earnestly. “It would have been a lot easier for you to keep on pretending, wouldn’t it? Pretend I’m just another mark, another means to an end to get through the day.”
“I don’t want easy… I don’t want to just get through the day. Not anymore.” Astarion whispered across the small tent, staring intently at you.
You cocked your head slightly in question, “And what do you want?”
“I want this, I want us — to be real. You deserve something real.”
“So do you, Astarion. You deserve something real.”
Your name escaped his lips as a choked sob as overwhelming wave of emotion settled over him. “I don’t even know what real looks like. How do I give that to you if I—?”
“Do you trust me?”
The vampire nodded through his tears, “Yes.”
“I trust you,” You said softly.
“After everything I’ve done?” He croaked, waving his hands dramatically, “You’d trust a monster—“
You grabbed onto his extended fingers gently, squeezing them. “Yes, even then.”
He looked down at your hands touching, before intertwining his pale fingers with yours carefully. “Maybe you are a fool.”
You let out a breathless laugh, the sound waking up something in him he’d long thought dead. “Maybe, I am. But you fell for me, so what does that make you?”
Astarion’s mouth twitched up until it match your smile, “The luckiest vampire alive.”
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Propaganda why Aang is insufferable:
He has some very bad ideas that the narrative never explores and gets rewarded by the narrative for bad behavior.
Mostly just the way he deals with his crush on Katara and kind of forces it on her. It’s honestly really shitty because she never truly reciprocated his feelings and had plenty of moments where she shows she’s just trying not to hurt his feelings with a straight up rejection, but ends up with him in the end just because that’s what he wanted.
Like we know what it looks like when Katara actually has a crush on someone, she wouldn’t let the situation like the war affect how she feels about demonstrating those feelings when she’s so in touch with them. Like how she was with Jet and Haru. I just wish the writing team did a better job of showing Katara developing feelings for Aang way better than they did lol.
Made a series that was otherwise reasonably tolerable impossible to watch. I hate that all the jokes written for his character target 8-year-olds exclusively. Also his little TV show keeps appearing on my dash no matter how many words I block and I hate it
Propaganda why Gregory is insufferable:
This boy is so poorly written, it hurts. In the gameplay, he just acts annoyed and pissed off the whole time. Then, in the endings, he becomes a whole other character who acts scared and sad, which does not match the previous hours of gameplay AT ALL
But that just annoyed me
What really made me hate him was the GGY and Robot Gregory stuff, because OH NO, Gregory could not just be a normal kid who got into this situation by chance, he has to be a robotic recreation of the Crying Child, despite not acting one bit like CC, or, according to the GGY story in the books, he's responsible for multiple murders and is Afton's/the Mimic's apprentice.
Just let this kid be fucking normal!
(Also, unlike a lot of people, I really enjoy what the Ruin DLC did to his character. And don't try to say that's still the mimic, the mimic recycles dialog from the main game. This Gregory uses completely unique dialog, and unless the mimic was able to form new words in his voice all of a sudden, that's still him. He had to make a tough decision, one life or over hundreds and I can respect that)
Suffers from being made into another one of Matpat's ""is actually a robot theory"". It is annoying as hell, especially if its canon. We do not need robot children theories in a game about possession, child murder and serial killers. Especially not dumb theories about him being a 'recreation' of someone with a completely different personality. It has completely ruined any enjoyment I had in that character because we're just going back to the Afton family again
Someone made a good point about how his personality seems to be reminiscent of a certain trend where a video game protagonist has to be snarky even though it would’ve worked better for the horror atmosphere if he was more scared because it would’ve made the player feel his fear. I recall people being surprised about his personality and expecting him to be more scared, and I assume the developers were just afraid of ppl calling Gregory “whiny”, but it still feels like a missed opportunity
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softpine · 2 days
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can i just word vomit for a min...
there was a point in late 2023 where i felt like i overstayed my welcome on simblr and i planned on just wrapping frozen pines up as quickly as possible and moving on. continuing to write when it's clear that the audience for it is dwindling felt so embarrassing that i almost didn't even want to put effort into it anymore, because i was afraid it just looked pathetic (obligatory disclaimer: no one made me feel this way, you're all so lovely, it's just the nature of seeing a community change over 7 years). writing already feels very personal to me and it's becoming increasingly harder for me to put my work out there (again, for reasons unrelated to simblr and entirely related to mental illness 🤙🏻). i know my story is so long that it deters new readers, and so sporadic that it makes old readers drop off with time. this has really been bothering me lately because i don't know what i can do to fix it. i don't think there IS anything i can do.
but. okay. don't make fun of me for saying this. dan and phil returning to youtube kinda changed my mindset? they may be pulling a fraction of the views they got in their peak, but they're happier than they've ever been and they're working on things they actually want to do, not things they think will be particularly popular. seeing that has made me realize that it is possible to keep finding joy in a community that has largely moved on without you. obviously my little blog is nowhere near the same scale, so this feels kind of silly, but i've been thinking about all the things i used to do on simblr that were never fun for me, i mainly did them because i knew they would get notes or because i felt like i had to do it. making cc, lookbooks, sim requests, reshade help (oh my god the reshade help), lot downloads, etc. they DID get notes, but i can't imagine spending my time doing any of that stuff ever again tbh.
on top of that, it makes me sad to scroll through my dash and realize that i don't recognize most of the people i see anymore. i still talk to some wonderful people here who i consider friends and that's invaluable to me (💖), but the broader community aspect is something i no longer feel a part of. and believe me, i know i'm at fault here because it's not like i'm going out of my way to talk to new people or participate in trends like i used to. i don't blame anyone except the passage of time!!
frozen pines, and simblr by extension, played such a gigantic part in my life when i needed it the most. and that's not to say that i don't still care about it, because i absolutely do, but it's a different kind of feeling. i've always promised that i would give frozen pines a satisfying conclusion rather than silently abandoning it someday, and though i do intend to keep that promise, i know it's possible that i might never get there. but i don't want to let my own insecurities get in the way of something i really enjoy doing. writing is an intrinsic piece of me that i'll never quit doing, but sharing my writing on tumblr is something that can't (and shouldn't) last forever. i know that. but i'm going to enjoy it to the fullest while we're all still here together 💞
to anyone who's still reading my silly story after all these years (especially those of you who still check in on my blog even though you're not on simblr anymore): thank you thank you thank you THANK YOUUU. you don't have to change a single thing about what you're doing. this is not me fishing for compliments or putting down an ultimatum, this is just me trying to make sense of my feelings.
but with all this being said, i've decided to quit simblr and start my own exclusive streaming service for $60 a year, i hope you'll all support me as i increase my production value 😌
(just kidding. ily. okay that's all)
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tarot-archives · 20 hours
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Can I get a uhhhhhh laios with a guy/gn reader who has an equally autistic special interest in general biology and ecosystems that would 100% encompass monsters as well? Asking for a friend that just happens to be me (stg idk if I wanna smooch laios or be him tbh lmao)
an: though i haven’t written for an autistic yn, i’ll try to make it realistic. if i’d done something wrong, please tell me. i focused more on general dungeon ecology for y/n.
if marcille is studying about dungeon ecosystems while laios is more interested in monsters you would be the best of both worlds.
there’s just something thrilling about dungeon ecology, how it all interacts, every thing that fall under it and so on and so forth.
you’re a tall-man researcher, using every bit of your time to find out more about dungeons, and not just the ones in melini. it would have been good to join the magic academy, but since you don’t posses any talent for magic, you can’t enter.
it made you sad since they had a dungeon making class.
nevertheless, it won’t stomp your dreams of researching! you’ve read and copied countless of books you can get your hands on. eventually you settled in meleni where a newly discovered dungeon was found.
your room was filled with countless of journals, trinkets from dungeons and volumes of books you read many time before.
and on your first dungeon party, you were very ecstatic. too bad you had to leave because they’d only go to the easier upper floors. you wanted to head to the lowest level after all!
and that’s where you meet up with the touden party!
you will love marcille’s vast dungeon knowledge. she would love to teach you new things. much to chilchuck’s dismay, you have boosted her ego. endless praises for marcille and simply doting around her because she’s filled with knowledge.
“ah, long lifespans are so great. i’d spend all my life dedicating to dungeon ecology if i could” -y/n after every lecture apparently.
then monster facts with laios will be endless. he lent you his dungeon food guide and you surprisingly have a copy too! you took notes from the things he had written in the margin. much to chilchuck’s demise (again) both you and laios keep on talking and he can’t sleep :((
“eating monsters? can’t say i have thought about it, but do you ever think about their nutritional values? the high level of mana concentration must vary from non-dungeon born same species! This needed to be compared and studied!” -y/n when laios introduced his monster eating thoughts.
toshiro will have another person to ask about his life in the east. but he likes how you keep more time to yourself writing in the journals. he finds your drawing to be artistic. after seeing your difficulties with papers, toshiro will teach you about yotsume toji—a book binding process from his country. he’s happy to see you using it after he taught you.
though you won’t talk with namari much, you admire he strength as a dwarf. she keeps her past to herself, which you at least respect. but you’d talk about the different weapons used and other things she did as a blacksmith. her knowledge on materials is very handy. you write about the different dungeon materials on your journal along with the best weapons against monsters.
chilchuck, our lock expert, and the most unknown member of your party… you admire his knowledge on traps and have written about his experiences with various dungeon traps and ways of disarming them.
falin, she joins you as you ask questions to marcille or laios. she listens to you talk about your dungeon experiences and she tells you about her’s. you let her read the journals you made along the way.
On the day falin was eaten by the dragon, your journal wasn’t transported with you. So now, you join laios to rescue his sister and to save you journals!!
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Request? Open!
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fictionfixations · 1 day
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lilia dorm uniform vignette
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haha
theyre both so done with lilia at this point
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this entire vignette they just- Sebek & Silver: what. …??? Malleus: is used to this Lilia: doing what he does
NO
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yknow. lilia did leave sebek and silver alone to like. survive. for a time or something like that.
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LMFAO SEBEK
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oh my god lilia
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sob
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((BOOK 7 SPOILERS AND SPECULATION. mention of JP card)) (the spoilers come from my thoughts, not in the actual vignette)
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Spoilers start now!
okay. so. im sad. but is it just me who could possibly see parallels between this and silver? (lilia treating his whole situation so much more nonchalantly and silver just sobbing like 'i still want you in my life :(((')
also i wonder if we at one point end up meeting who silvers parents were. id assume it hasnt happened at all in JP though, or i'd probably be heavily spoiled because so much JP TWST is on my timeline (this includes book 7 spoilers LMFAO i cant escape. savanaclaw rook 👀. i only know the basics of book 7 JP content [that is, not at all. ive been spoiled like the next few chapters-ish after EN content [aka night in the woods(?) chapter 55 i think). the second a new card comes out its shoved EVERYWHERE in my face. but thats about it! mostly.)
admittedly was so prepared for malleus to go on for a bit at the end that could. idk help us get a different view on his actions in book 7. guess not tho, oop.
(..Also its probably meant to be "given what he said" but the actual dialogue says "give what he said" and im too tired to be making corrections to canon dialogue in the event i might be wrong [its 3 am])
im so saving the sebek respecting silver line though LMFAO
like out of context you think he's saying it to silver
or like. saying it after silver does some badass thing but no.
its because of lilia's parenting.
hehehehe
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jsprnt · 3 days
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you’re pretty upset when you spot your husband not wearing his ring in a recent video
andrew robertson x reader
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A/N: a tricky one, but I think I made it work ;) thank you for requesting!
W/C: 1.427
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a wedding ring
to some, it’s a tangible object that is meant to symbolize the unification of two people. to others, a ring wasn't that much of importance, even paper rings would suffice to signify the love two individuals have for each other.
you were part of the first group. you had never even dreamed of taking the rock off your finger. the only exception being when you needed to get your hands dirty when cooking up some delicious food.
of course, the glimmering diamond on your ring finger was absolutely breathtaking. carefully chosen by your husband. suited exactly to your personal style and taste.
it was something you also tried to do for him. you didn't want to gift him a boring, silver wedding band, bland and basic. so, you'd visited multiple different jewelers until you found the right one.
then, imagine how pissed off you are when you're scrolling on your phone, only to see a video of your husband not wearing his ring during a recent press conference concerning his upcoming match.
you glance down at your own wedding ring, getting more and more irritated by the second.
your husband wasn't even home from training yet, which allowed your anger to boil up ever more, because you couldn’t ask him about it immediately.
you finally turn your phone off, grumbling to yourself, and get up to do some last minute work around the house. it was your turn to make dinner tonight. safe to say those vegetables were chopped too finely due to the fury you couldn’t contain.
andrew usually came home right on time for dinner. so, you decide to eat dinner early, just to interact less with him.
you were being petty, but you felt like him not wearing his wedding ring shouldn't go unpunished.
the front door opens half an hour later, your husband calling out to you from the entrance.
you ignore him, too focused on washing the dishes you used, to answer him, knowing it would become a childish argument.
"sweetheart? are you home?" he calls out, the confusion in his voice audible. you can hear him zip his jacket off, and the jingling of his keys, which he hangs up on the little sculpture you bought to spruce up the entrance.
again, you refuse to answer. drying the washed dishes with the gray kitchen towel and placing them back in the cupboard.
"bonnie?"
you try to ignore the sweet scottish nickname he loved using, too focused on cleaning up.
you can hear some footsteps come closer, his shoes paddling against the gray floorboards.
you decide to turn around when you can feel how close he is. watching his arm reach over to bring you into a tight embrace. though, you move right on time to avoid his touch. escaping from underneath his arms.
he gasps, brows furrowing at your sudden behavior. you were fine this morning, happy as ever, only a little sad about him leaving so early for training.
so, why would you be avoiding his hugs, let alone his touch?
"love, what's wrong?" he asks, trying to analyze your facial expression.
"nothing.." you mumble, avoiding eye contact. your arms folded defensively.
"do you want a hug?" he asks, wondering if you need comfort. he inches closer, but you decide that to be petty - so you shake your head.
"that involves physical contact, and that's gross, so no." you deadpan, words harsh and stubborn.
‘gross?’ he thinks, frowning at your choice of words.
"eat dinner, table's set.." you add, voice quiet.
you immediately turn away, sulking when you catch glimpse of your ring again.
you can hear him call out to you, but you keep on walking up the stairs and step into your bedroom. maybe the comfort of the soft pillows and firm mattress will help instead.
"love, can you please tell me what's wrong?" he pleads, hand stopping you from closing the door.
you gnaw on your bottom lip, sighing while looking at him.
"just give me a moment.." you state, his eyes warm up, realizing you probably wanted a minute to yourself to sort your thoughts out.
"okay, I'll have dinner then..I’m going to come back later..." his voice is soft, just like how he speaks to you when you're crying over something or are feeling particularly down on dark, cloudy days.
guilt immediately creeps up on you. maybe you were being too petty and rude?
no, you always wear your ring- why wouldn't he?
you close the door in his face, shuffling to your bed and pulling the covers over your body.
all different types of thoughts go through your head. were you too dramatic, or were you rightfully upset? was this approach even a good one?
it doesn't take too much time, as you hear a knock on your bedroom door. you shift and turn, sitting up in bed.
"come in.." you mumble, fidgeting with your fingers.
andy steps inside slowly, his eyebrows raising at the sight of your defeated-looking figure.
"bonnie.." he begins, getting into the bed next to you.
"we're literally married. if you're angry at me, just tell me.." he says, hand reaching to carefully touch your hand. eyes on your face to detect any irritation or sadness on your face.
you look up at him when he grips your hand, his bigger hands entangled with yours. your eyes flicker around, finally making eye contact with him.
he can practically read all of the emotions you hold in your eyes after all these years together.
"won't you tell me, sweetheart? are you angry?"
he encourages, thumb running over your knuckles.
"yes, I’m angry- is that what you want to know?"
"about what?"
you sigh, a little embarrassed now.
"you love me, right?"
you notice the confusion and surprise on your husband's face, he starts nodding the moment the question leaves your mouth.
"of course, I love you.. with every part of my being.." he whispers, leaning in closer.
"then why did I see a video of you not wearing your ring?" you confront, facial expression hardening. 
"what are you talking about?"
you grab your phone off the nightstand, showing him the evidence that had you spiraling for the past hour or two.
"bonnie.." he begins, a chuckle leaving his lips.
you almost lash out at him when he laughs. was your sadness funny to him?
"come 'ere.." he urges, patting his lap. you eye him for a moment, but don’t fight back when he pulls you onto his lap.
"listen to me, ye?"
you nod, waiting to hear his explanation.
"remember when we talked about our wedding rings last month?"
you nod, tilting your head in confusion.
"and don't you remember me telling you I had to get mine cleaned?" he asks, thumb making soft and soothing circles on your knee.
you freeze, heat from embarrassment creeping up on your face. you groan, covering your face with your hands, moving your head away.
"hey, look at me, ye?" he says, trying to pry your hands away from your face.
"there's my love's precious face.." he coos, grinning softly at your cute behavior.
he raises his hand, showing off the wedding band that is clearly on his finger.
"you know, I wear it all the time except for training and during matches. if I was allowed to wear it I would..” he reminds you, leaning in to kiss your forehead tenderly.
"I wear mine constantly, just like you do. it's as important to me, as it is to you. you got that?" he asks, running his hand down your back.
you hum, feeling silly and stupid for fretting over something so easily explained away.
"I'm sorry, kind of stupid of me to assume.." you trail off, looking into his brown eyes.
"it's alright, I understand the confusion, but please just ask me about something that’s bothering you, before you start to ignore me?"
you nod, pressing your cheek against his chest.
"I will, I'll ask you before assuming.."
he chuckles, pressing a kiss on your head. the sound makes his chest rumble, in turn, you feel the vibrations on your cheek.
your husband would do anything to please his partner. so, don't you be surprised the next time he comes home with a tattoo on his ring finger.
yes, the needle pressing against the bone of his knuckle hurt like a bitch. but, if it meant he could ease your mind and wear a symbol of his love for you 24/7. he would do it without hesitation.
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jeunebug · 5 hours
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I wasn’t even a Toshiro fan before but some of y’all’s brain dead takes are making me one. Farcille rules my heart, though I’m finding some of y’all are villainizing Toshiro cause of itand that shit pisses me off. I finished the manga and the adventurers Bible so info will be drawn from there.
Racism is present in the Dungeon meshi world. Racism against different races — especially the short lived ones — so why would it be hard to not realize that micro aggressions could be present as well? Then again most people don’t recognize those because they’ve never experienced them.
As somebody whose Asian herself, I really emphasize with Toshiro. I was a weird little girl prone to ignoring other things in order to fixate on my own interests for hours and I wasn’t exactly normal about it. Vibe wise. That sort of behavior wasn’t really dignified or approved of and made it difficult for me to be accepted or tolerated amongst my peers.
Though I became more of a Laois now I’m older, I grew up forcing myself to mask my weird traits and restrain my words because they made me lonely and grew up resenting and longing for that weirdness I used to love.
That need to restrain himself was amplified by Toshiro’s upbringing, so it was likely why he tolerated Laois’s behavior toward him. I think he likes Laois actually (and seen by how he protects him and continued to help Laois after the fight), but there’s this undercurrent of resentment because of a jealousy about Laois’s ability to say whatever he wants and annoyance because of micro-aggressions. I’ve had friends like that. People I loved but resented, and eventually resentment won out. People often mixed mine and another Asian friends names up all the time, something I was too awkward to correct out of fear of being disrespectful, but damn it pissed me off. Toshiros name isn’t Shuro, its Toshiro. And his favorite food isn’t rice (I’ve got that one too).
Laois isn’t intentionally doing those micro aggressions, he’s feeding into the societally ingrained attitudes of his country. But it’s still a excruciating experience for Toshiro to receive even if Laois didn’t intend it.
Toshiro’s a funny and sad loser to me. But I feel empathy for him. Laois and Marcille are my faves but I’m a clinically obligated Toshiro defender.
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onesidedradiostatic · 3 hours
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Like- I know we've seen a lot of comedic takes on what might have gone down between Vox and Alastor. But I do like to think that there was a genuine bond and a real affection for each other that meant something to both of them. And then it ended up horribly exploding in both of their faces, and now they're employing very different strategies to ignore the fact that it's a relationship they both miss.
I guess that qualifies as "complicated and sad" lmao... and if nothing else I AM kind of relieved that Viv's answer makes it seem like it won't be treated as a joke or one-sided.
I like to think there were elements of a genuine friendship on both sides yeah, I guess you could say they miss what it used to be but I don't think at this current point they want each other back as a friend (I think vox has changed too much for alastor, there are things about him that he dislikes now and well. vox has too much salt and hatred towards alastor now) but yeah when it comes to their past friendship maybe alastor will finally beat the "he didn't actually care about vox" allegations (usually common in the "vox is the victim" takes), I like to think there was at least something positive there on alastor's side. that the "old pal" comment is a legitimate indication that vox was a friend to him
and whenever I like compare vox to being like alastor's previous charlie I don't even think of that in a "he didn't care" way because I think currently even though he obviously has nefarious intentions, he has some care for charlie and the hotel, even if he doesn't want to be seen as someone legitimately caring for them, I like to apply that to alastor's past relationship with vox
anyways link to a past post of me talking about alastor's side of their past friendship, I think it's just more interesting if alastor saw their friendship as genuine too, it being "complicated" would at least tell us it's not so simple as vox saw alastor as a friend but alastor saw him as nothing. listen, the romantic feelings are one-sided, the friendship was not.
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tommykinard6 · 16 hours
Note
I don't mean to pile onto your bad day but I've been seeing a lot of creators on tiktok complain/compare the bucktommy and henren tags/fic count on ao3 because there's almost more bucktommy fics then there are henren fics. The number one claim is always that bucktommy writers are racist because we don't write for henren. But like, that's not correct at all? People can write fanfiction for whatever they want to. If they want to see more henren stuff then they can write it on their own.
We can coexist without fighting each other. I'm just tired of people screaming about how bucktommy is anti this or anti that, when we're just vibing by ourselves and don't want the drama but the drama finds us anyway because Sucky People are loud and get heard the most.
You’re good, anon. It actually gave me something to think about during work.
As a quick disclaimer, before we begin, I’m not a POC. I am not speaking for anyone in the Black community and am not attempting to speak over them. My following thoughts are as a queer woman-ish who is also a writer.
I think it must be noted that Hen and Karen have been overlooked since day one. The fact that Buck coming out made it the “gay firefighter show” when we’ve had a beautiful canonical lesbian couple since the very beginning? Is only proof. Is this proof of racism in the fandom? Maybe. Quite possibly. I would argue that it comes from a misogynistic point as well.
If you look in any fandom, regardless of the color of their skin, any wlw ship is horribly overlooked. I’ve done some tag searching on ao3. Straight and mlm ships battle for dominance while there are canonical and fanonical wlw ships that have a drastic difference in numbers. This isn’t a good thing. But it’s an experience that spans fandoms.
I find it sad that BuckTommy has almost more fics, with only two episodes under their belt, than Henren with 7 seasons. However, this isn’t a reason to hate on BuckTommy. The ship didn’t do anything wrong. Comparison is the thief of joy and it’s also rage bait. I think that some creators simply are using anything they can to hate on BuckTommy. Which that makes it sadder, that they aren’t concerned about Henren other than pushing their own agenda.
This isn’t to say all creators who are speaking about this are doing this, but I guarantee some are.
Now, let me speak as a writer.
As someone with 62 published fics on ao3, I write almost exclusively mlm ships. This isn’t because I hate women. And as a queer woman-ish, don’t even start about homophobia. But for some reason, I find it so much easier to write men than I do to write women. This is true for straight and wlw ships and also just in general. I love Henren, but I don’t have the faintest idea about how to write them.
It’s hard enough to write as it is and I’m already writing on ships that are easy for me. I try to write women and it just hasn’t come out right. I want to challenge myself, branch out, and maybe I’ll write for Henren to do that. But I say all this to point out that for some people like me, writing some ships and demographics of ships are just a little more difficult.
That leads me into something else.
I, as a white person, worry about accidentally writing non-white characters wrong. And this was reinforced not too long ago when we had that whole thing on ao3 with deliberate racism in 9-1-1 fics. If anyone has resources or advice for writing non-white characters, I would love to hear that! The last thing I want to do is cause any harm.
I feel like I’ve spoken a lot about me, but that’s because I can’t really speak for anyone else. I can only speak from my experience.
We already have a ship war between BuckTommy and Buddie. We don’t need to pit more people against each other. I think we can love BuckTommy while agreeing that Henren needs to be seen and appreciated and treated equally.
End note to say: I tried to speak as delicately and as sensitively as I could, but if anything came out wrong, please feel free to point it out (kindly). Again, I speak for no one but my very little section of the world. I’m interested to hear what people of other backgrounds have to add!
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marredmusings · 2 days
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umm so i wrote a little fic/blurb idk i don't think it's good but it's something that's been stuck in my head for a while with my own little oc named grace but her name is only mentioned a few times so it could totally be ignored and seen as reader.
anyway this is my first ever fic so please be kind to me and if you have suggestions or other fic ideas i'd love to hear them.
not proof read and lowercase intended.
and if you think it's awful please lie to me i'm fragile 😔
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deny
you are a lover girl. a hopeless romantic, someone who dreams of finding "the one" and living happily ever after. kie often says you tend to fall in love a little with everyone you meet. you can't help it though, you have so much love in you, it feels like you'll burst at the seams if you don't share it with others.
you think you're in love with your best friend jj maybank. no one understands you the way the wild blond haired boy does. no one can communicate with you with just a single look the way jj does. no one makes your heart beat out of your chest and your tummy flutter the way his dimpled smile does, eyes crinkling at the corners, a slight sunburn on his nose because lord know that boy doesn't use the sunscreen you bought him.
so yeah you're in love with jj maybank but then yesterday a different boy kissed you. pope heyward, your other best friend, genius extraordinaire whom you thought was maybe in love with kie but no- he kissed you and you felt a tingle in your ever beating heart. heat filled your cheeks and your ears became fuzzy. that was a new feeling when it came to pope. it made you excited to explore because as much as you love jj, you don't think the boy would ever return your undying affection because your friendship meant too much.
----
you stood in the threshold of popes bedroom, gasp stuck in your throat, eyes wide and mouth open at the sight before you. you’re not sure how to process what you’re seeing.
before you on the bed that pope kissed you on not even 24 hours ago, is jj maybank, your closest friend, kissing the heyward boy.
so many emotions flow through you at the sight before you.
shock because not once has jj; or pope for that matter mentioned or even hinted that they liked men- or each other. then again, jj has always liked beautiful people and pope is certainly that.
sadness because you and pope had literally just kissed. maybe you were naive to think a simple kiss meant something more to the boy, but it was pope, you don't think there's a mean bone in his body. then again you’ve always been too much of a romantic, too blinded to really see what’s in front of you. blinded by your want and need to be loved that perhaps you create situations in your mind that you interpret as reality? maybe you need to contact your therapist again. you're sounding even more delusional than before.
lastly, you feel jealousy. the angry green monster rumbling around in your tummy, making its way up your throat. you’re not sure what exactly is making you jealous because the image of the two boys kissing is surely confusing. are you jealous because pope is kissing another person who isn’t you? a part of you is jealous because he’s kissing jj. or maybe it’s that jj is kissing pope or that maybe they’re kissing eachother and they're not kissing you? you're not sure at this point. dear diary jealousy is a disease babes, and you are infected.
you must have made a noise because next thing you know, the two boys are pulling apart, a string of spit still connecting them and for a second your love rattled brain is jealous of it. the spit that is, because deep down you’ve always known that you wanted them both… to be the one to connect them. you feel slightly crazy being jealous of spit.
jjs face goes beat red and then flushes pale, like a ghost. he looks terrified and like he might vomit all over the floor in a second.
“grace!” popes panicked voice reaches your ears but they’re still kind of ringing from the shock of seeing your supposedly straight best friends kiss.
in your heartbroken haze you wonder if you're being a bad ally right now. you love the gays you swear! you just never pictured pope and jj as being a part of the gays ™.
you clear your throat, “jb and kie are waiting for us downstairs. we were going out on the boat today, remember?”
you try and say that as gently as possible because jj still looks like he’s going to pass out and pope isn’t much better.
popes hands are shaking as he reaches for you and a part of you wants to pull away but you’re not mean. you’ve never been mean so even if your feelings are hurt you’ll always put your best friends feelings above your own. and it looks like pope needs to touch you. maybe to hold your hand and reassure him you’re really standing there, witnessing something that you probably shouldn’t have.
so many emotions flicker through popes eyes. you can’t really see his blush but you’re sure if you touch his face it would be hotter than the sun.
pope grabs your hands in his shaking ones. you can feel how clammy they are and you hazard a look back to jj who has yet to even move. you’re a little concerned he’s gone into shock.
you let out a soft sigh and smile at the boys, a smile that is mostly genuine.
you squeeze popes hand and make eye contact with the panicked blonde boy on the bed.
“it’s ok jj. i won’t say anything if you don’t want me to.” you speak kindly, as if you’re talking to a scared feral cat.
you only see jj swallow hard. “for what it’s worth, i understand the appeal... wanting to kiss pope and all.” you tease hoping to cut the obvious tension in the room. you feel like you're the one choking now.
jj and pope both let out huffs like they’re afraid to laugh but also relieved you’re not upset.
“you’re not mad?” jj croaks like he still has a frog lodged in his throat. he looks at you with soft wonder, like you’re the best thing in his life. his stare makes your tummy flutter.
“of course not. you guys are my best friends. i only ever want you to be happy!” you reply honestly. jj deserves happiness after the shit life he’s been dealt. he deserves good things and if you have to set aside your feelings in order for him to have good things then by golly you’ll do that.
“grace, about yesterday-“ pope starts off,
“don’t worry buddy, already forgotten.” you cut him off. hopefully saving him the strife of having to apologize to you about the kiss and saving you the embarrassment of him telling you he regrets your kiss. you don't think you could survive hearing that out loud.
you march over to jj still holding popes hand, effectively dragging the boy with you. you throw your arms tightly around jjs neck and after a heartbeat, jj returns your hug. you move your head to look at pope and nod at him, encouraging him to join the hug.
“now c’mon. you know how pissy jb gets when he’s made to wait” you giggle.
you lead the boys out of popes room and home and into the twinkie without giving them an option of saying no.
“finally! i thought y’all died or something. what took so long” john b huffs in exasperation.
“my fault jb!” you quickly chirp so the boys don’t have to panic and think of a lie “pope showed me the new book he got and it’s my favourite and i starting gushing and you know me i can’t shut up and… well i forgot why i went up to get them in the first place” you giggle with a sheepish smile.
“you’re so lucky you’re cute, grace” kie laughs teasingly.
you see pope and jj making eye contact. you have a feeling you might need to play therapist for them soon. pope doesn’t know how to talk about his feelings without beating around the bush and well, jjs favourite thing to do is deny deny deny.
actually, that’s exactly what you’re gonna do too! deny you have feelings for pope. deny you have feelings for jj. deny you ever saw them kiss and deny that them kissing only upset you because you weren’t a part of it. deny that a part of you enjoyed it. deny that your feelings matter in this situation and deny that if given the chance, you’d love to be in between a beautiful jj maybank and pope heyward sandwich.
yep, deny deny deny. this is gonna be a long freaking summer.
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mykoreanlove · 3 days
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pillow talk
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“Taemin, you missed a step.” “Taemin, you are off beat.” “Taemin, did you forget your own lyrics?” “Taemin, where is your head at?”
Angry eyes watched him mess up again, for the hundredth time this evening. The ace of kpop was far from being a rookie but tonight he was far from being professional either. He couldn’t concentrate, messing up all the steps and forgetting his own lines. Frustrated, he run his fingers through his dark hair and sighed out in annoyance. “Where is my head at”, he mumbled absentmindedly…
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“Have you told your friends about me?”, you whispered into his chest. Taemin’s breathing paused for a split second which you wouldn’t have noticed if you weren’t already delicately wrapped around his lean body. His hands caressed your naked figure while his puffy lips were busy pampering you with sweet kisses. “Certainly”, he replied. “What did you say?” “I told them I met someone, unexpectedly. I told them how I met a woman that has taken my breath away.” He paused for a brief moment, triggering the impatience brooding within you. “That’s it?”, you asked offended. He chuckled sweetly before continuing. “They asked me about you, what you were like. And I told them that you were beyond beautiful. Incredibly sexy. Cute as honey. Horny as the devil. Very, very smart. Emotional. Full of passion and desire. Empathetic - always caring and observing. Funny, oh my god so funny, making me laugh all the time. Interesting, seeing a lot of things differently than I do. Basically, I mentioned every positive attribute I could think of.” Taemin didn’t notice the gigantic smile that formed on his lips as he recalled gushing over you. You didn’t see it either, but you felt it, it was impossible not to. “And then they asked me what was going on between us, like if we had a future?” Now you were the one forgetting to breathe – did he catch that? “And I told them that my life is quite chaotic at the moment and that I need to figure out a lot of stuff. I explained to them that I want to concentrate and focus on me, primarily, but this is getting harder and harder to do. I told them that my mind always wanders back to you, thinks about you and misses you. I keep finding myself neglecting my goals to rather be with you…” His voice was filled with serenity, yet you could sense the anxiety in him. “I love spending time with you, getting to know you. The way you think, the things that move you, the things that scare you and make you sad. I want to understand everything about you. And that sometimes scares me.” There it was, the fear that was eating him from the inside. “What does that mean then?”, you asked cautiously.
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“Ideally, I’d resist you and move on. I’d memorize your beautiful eyes and luscious lips as a sensuous adventure that I would never forget. But I can’t. Not with you, y/n.” Taemin’s fingers landed on your chin and tilted it up, he was directly staring into your soul now. “I will let you use me.” “Use you?” “Isn’t this what this is?” You gulped, feeling utterly exposed. “Is that why you only told them all the positive aspects about me?” Taemin nodded while placing another kiss on your swollen lips. “I know you’re bad for me. But I can’t help myself. You love me the sweetest only to push a cruel blade into my flesh.” His eyes were glistening, shining almost as bright as the full moon outside. Taemin spoke slowly, putting a lot of emphasis on every single word. “Soothing. Loving. Hurting. Over and over again.” His voice got even deeper, barely audible as he whispered his heart out to you. “And you let me, y/n. Why do you? I come back every time, like a brainwashed puppy. Does that turn you on? Is that your definition of love? Taemin took your hand into his and placed chest kisses on your knuckles before laughing manically. “Because I think it’s mine.”
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