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jamneuromain · 2 months

Note

Hii!!! I just read A Whiff of Blood and it was amazing!!! Omg its been a while since I read Lloyd being caring without having another motive. This is pure goodness 😍

I was wondering if there could be a scene where y/n asks to leave work early bc she has a date. Lloyd says fine but ends up at the same restaurant as her with Danny to spy🤣 and y/n saw them and this will be the first time she yells at her boss. how would the boss react? falling for her even more or trying to save his dignity and ego 😎

Hi babe! So sorry that this one-shot is taking forever to come out (and I've made a little adjustment to it :3 hope you don't mind

A Rush of Blood

Lloyd Hansen x You

Warning: Mob AU, Mob!Lloyd, Secretary!Reader, Lloyd is being a (surprisingly) softie(?

Summary: You asked whether you could leave early for a date, while Lloyd decided not to keep his feelings bottled up any more.

W/C: ~4.5k

A/N: This is the final sequel to A Whiff of Blood, Thank you for all your love for Mob!Lloyd<333

Lloyd can’t help but look at your empty seat for the fifth time in a row. The boring-ass meeting for the quarterly revenue of his properties drags on, yet you haven’t returned for a while now.

Lloyd checks his watch.

It’s been fucking two minutes and forty-two seconds since you excused yourself with your phone buzzing in hand.

The ticking watch gets him more annoyed and impatient by the second. Two minutes and forty-four seconds, two minutes and forty-five seconds, two minutes and forty-six - where the heck are you?

You pick up the call as soon as you reach your desk, “Allie?”

“Hey hon. Bad news, I’m stuck at the airport. There has been a huge blizzard here in Alaska and all flights are banned from taking off.” Allie remains her chirpy sound, but a hit of restraint peeks from her words.

Allie has been your friend since high school. You’ve bonded over the mutual love of boy bands during your teen years. Though you have moved on from your love of pop singers/bands, Allie maintains her enthusiasm for K-pop idols.

“I’m in the middle of a conference, so, sorry about making this short,” you sigh, “I assume they can’t get any plane in or out for today?”

You scheduled for fine dining with Allie at one of Lloyd’s restaurants later this evening. At this rate, you are no longer surprised if he owns the Hollywood landmark too.

“Not in this damn weather, no.” She curses under her breath, “Not for three days as far as I’m aware.”

“Jesus.” You rub your temple as it is throbbing, “Sorry about the weather. I’ll reschedule the dinner.”

“No… don’t be.” Her hesitation on the phone sounds slightly suspicious.

“Allie?” You raise your voice dangerously, “What did you do?”

“Don’t be mad,” she holds a pregnant pause, “I’ve got this really cute boy – he’s a year behind us, by the way – and he’s working now in LA, Scott McCall – that’s double C in McCall, and I planned to introduce you two during dinner.”

“The fu- Allie!” You whisper-yell in the phone, “You’re gonna dump me and let me have dinner with a completely random person?”

Allie squeezes a few dry laughs over the speaker, “Eh- Sorry?”

“You better pray there’s no plane in three days because I’m going to crawl through the phone lines and strangle you if I have the chance.” You sputter a curse, “And burn all your K-pop albums.”

She gasps, “NOT THE ALBUMS!”

Typical Allie.

“Seriously though, you had the chance of meeting him two months ago... at an exhibition. The gallery downtown near the bakery? The Retro-modern Exhibition? The one you left early? It took him a lot of strength to get to me and then to you, so … just try, okay? If it doesn’t work out, it’s fine.” Allie sounds unlike her usual self, “If it works out … I guess you’d have a great story to tell your kids.” She can’t help but joke at the end.

“Yeah yeah, ha-ha, very funny.” With a sigh, you agree to her match-making plan, “Fine. But I really have to go back to work now, ‘kay?” You roll your eyes instinctively when the other end of the phone passes a squeaky “yes” to your ears, “I’ll be there on time. Dinner, six thirty, he’d better not be late.”

“You’re my life-saver. Mwah! Love ya’ bye!” After blowing a kiss via mid-air, Allie hangs up the phone as if fearing you will regret your decision in less than a second.

You end the call at the same moment the door to the conference room swings open, and out came a few executives for his real estate.

“Sorry, Mr. Hansen,” you put your phone into your pocket, straightening your shirt because you have been leaning on your desk. You know how much Lloyd hates disturbance, and creases on a shirt.

Lloyd purses his lips with a frown, an expression he wears often to indicate he’s not happy.

“If it’s okay for you, Mr. Hansen, I’d like to leave early today.” You request rather boldly.

For three years of your work as a secretary, the only other time you left early was a medical emergency of your mother. She fell down the stairs, hit her head, and had a broken femur. Though it wasn’t much of a big deal when she was transferred to a ward later, it scared the hell out of you to take the call from the local hospital, telling you your mother was sent to the ER in an ambulance.

Lloyd was generous enough to grant you a week of leave, but you got back on Day 5 after making sure your mother was well and taken care of.

“Is your family alright?” He asks, clearly still remembering the last time when you got kidnapped on the street, for which he had to assign Claire – a bright young lady, whom you’ve grown fond of over these past weeks – to act as your bodyguard and occasionally your assistant. Under Lloyd’s orders, she went to oversee the security cam installation at your apartment door.

“They are fine.” You suppose it’s better to tell him the truth regarding your leave, rather than having him meet you in his restaurant a few hours later, “I uh… have a date tonight.”

“A date?” He raises his eyebrows, repeating syllable by syllable, “A date, you say?”

“Yes, a date.” It feels like a betrayal all of a sudden, a betrayal of your work ethic. Your throat tightens, “Ahem, I’ll be leaving at five, if that’s alright with you, Mr. Hansen.”

Lloyd studies you for a moment.

“Okay.” He shrugs, sounding carelessly, “If you finish the work for today.”

You are pretty sure that there’s no more itinerary for either Hansen or you after this meeting, but you still play your role as a dutiful secretary and ask, “Anything else you would like me to do?”

“Call James and tell him to pick up the loan I gave out to the Dawson scum, five mil’ in cash or non-bearer bonds. If Dawson returns even one dime short, I want his arm broken. And deliver the drycleaning to my place by five tonight. Tell my butler, while you’re at it, he can hold off the repair down at the basement, this can wait till January. And,” he pauses, “I want you to tell Dani, head to her place personally, and tell her that I’m cancelling the Cuban appointment.”

“Yes, Mr. Hansen.” You pick up the landline straight away, ready to dial James’ number.

“You are not taking any notes whatsoever.” Lloyd narrows his eyes, “What are the tasks I just gave you?”

Lloyd seems extra grumpy today, plus you are not a note-taker anyway. You cover the speaker with your palm, though puzzled as to why he’s moody all of a sudden, but comply with his demands, “Call James, collect the debt from Dawson; get the drycleaning to your house by five, and tell your butler Marlin not to rush on the basement repair; and lastly, tell Dani you’re cancelling the Cuban appointment.” And you have no clue what this “Cuban” appointment is. Darn, Lloyd does keep a whole lot of secrets from you, “Anything else, Mr. Hansen?”

Fuck.

He sounds like fucking Cinderella’s stepmom dumping beans into the fireplace. Since when did he get off on ordering you around doing meaningless chores? He could perfectly do them himself, not to mention some of the biddings he has just told you were unnecessary – the basement repair? It was a damn doorknob getting stuck, not a pipeline that leaks like a faucet.

“Claire’s not here, take Avik with you.” He grumbles, returning to his office and slamming the door shut.

Avik is a silent, tanned man who often acts as Lloyd’s muscle. He emerges from thin air – or probably from some corner, standing rigidly behind you like a statue.

“Hey Avik, mind if I drive?” You put a warm smile on your face, swinging the car key on your finger.

Avik merely nods, gesturing that he’ll walk in front of you.

After picking up Lloyd’s drycleaning and telling Marlin the exact words from Lloyd's mouth, you head off to your next assignment.

Dani.

Dani is a woman approximately your age, speaks fluent Spanish, English, and Italian, probably a couple of other languages that you couldn’t understand too, and rumored to be Lloyd’s ex.

She is a charming lady living in a mansion away from the glamourous nightlife of LA, but not shy of parties. In fact, you’ve accompanied Lloyd to a few that she hosts, and if you ever need a party planner, she would be your No. 1 choice – if you can afford it.

You tap on the steering wheel somewhat anxiously, checking your watch. It’s five to six, and Dani’s residence is halfway across the city, and you have yet to finish the job that Lloyd told you to.

It feels like double standards when you explicitly told Allie that your date cannot be late.

Dani’s lovely butler, Mrs. Santos invited you in, leading you to the guest room.

“To what do I own this honor of having Lloyd’s personal assistant arriving at my place?” Dani flips her hair and giggles.

“Lloyd has sent me to tell you that,” you still remember the strange code phrase word by word, “He’s cancelling the Cuban appointment.”

Dani carefully studies you for a moment, before bursting out laughter, “He… He said that? The Cuban appointment?”

Darn, even when she’s laughing, she’s charming as always.

“Yes.” You answer her question, “If there’s no message you want me to forward to him, I’ll be out of your hair.”

Dani hangs a mysterious smile on the corner of her lips, her honey-toned skin practically gleaming as she speaks, “None. But if you don’t mind me asking, do you have any plans for tonight? I want to borrow you for one of my parties – you know,” she shrugs, “connections and all that.”

Dani’s parties are always filled with delightful cocktails and exquisite people she knows from all over the world. It’s a perfect chance to refresh your connections with all sorts of people – thieves, CEOs, fences, politicians - part of the reason why she asked you to stay.

Yet, you were already booked for tonight.

“Sorry,” you politely rejected, “I’d love to, but I have a date tonight.”

“Well, you-” Dani points at you with her perfectly manicured finger, sounding cheerful, “are welcome at my place, anytime. You can bring your date here even, if you need a place to chill.”

“Thank you, Dani.” You respond, “Have fun at your party.”

Dani cocks her head to the side. The bright flashy diamond earrings peek from under her hair, swaying as if they were about to fall. She hums thoughtfully before wishing you a pleasant evening.

As soon as you step out of her estate, Dani picks up her phone and dials Lloyd’s number, “I recall a certain someone claims that he needs absolutely no help landing a girl,” She twirls her hair around her fingertips, chuckling, “the Cuban appointment, Lloyd? Wow, you must be really desperate. Now, you want me to help you sabotage her date? That I can do...”

With Lady Luck by your side, you’ve successfully reached the restaurant five minutes early with someone already at your table, while Avik sits at a table on the other side of the aisle, keeping an eye on you.

“You must be Scott.” You pull your chair to sit, trying your best to ignore the bulk of muscles on your righthand-side, watching as the young man across the table hastily puts down his water glass and stands abruptly with his face flushed.

“H… Hi.” He can barely stop the grin on his face, “It’s so nice to finally meet you.”

Allie is right. He is cute.

Scott scratches the back of his head, plopping down on his seat, asking hesitantly, “If this is not too intrusive, how did you get a reservation? My friend has been dying to try this place for a week and the nearest spot available is three months later.”

“My boss is a close friend of the restaurant manager.” Lloyd practically runs this place. The manager gets scared shitless every time he needs to deliver the quarterly books to Lloyd and he asks you to do it in his place. Hence, he’s greatly in your debt. But you are not going to tell Scott you work for the largest gang in the city, so you feign your interest and ask, “What about you? Allie didn’t tell me what you do for a living.”

His face goes flushed pink again, “I uh… I work as an assistant curator,” he adds, “but I paint.”

“Oh really? That sounds fun. What do you paint?”

Scott chats on and on about his love for contemporary art and various ways of making a beautiful moment permanent when you notice Avik stands up and leaves.

“… sorry,” you apologize to Scott, for you have missed the question he asks, having paid too much attention to the bodyguard Avik who doesn’t seem like returning, “what was that again?”

Scott shuts his mouth momentarily before managing a small smile, “I was just thinking that we should get the waiter. Is there anything you like on the menu?”

The food was divine, and the wine was savory too. Though the waiters seemed a little distracted – you guessed it was probably their boss telling them to stay away from your table for you to enjoy your date. After exchanging pleasant conversations, you know it’s time to end this lovely date.

Before getting the check and leaving, you excuse yourself to freshen up.

Scott nods with his curls bouncing.

Scott is nice.

He is smart, funny, and cute with his untamed curls.

You put on a thin layer of lipstick. Looking into the mirror, the polite smile breaks away when you watch your reflection.

Scott is a decent guy. Why don’t you like him?

A vague outline rises in your head, before evaporating.

Stop it. You tell yourself. Scott is a nice guy. You should enjoy this date.

Only when your figure disappears behind a few tables, did someone sit on your spot.

“Evening.” A moustache man traces his finger on the cup from which you drank, crossing his legs, “Scotty, right?”

Scott clenches his hand on the arm of his chair, but Avik appears quietly behind him, grabbing his shoulders to have him sit down. A hard piece of metal is pressed to the back of his head. It doesn’t take much common sense to understand that Avik has a gun pointing at him.

“Don’t get all flustered,” Lloyd pours some wine into both glasses, “I’m just here to… be nice.” A wicked grin creeps up his lips as Lloyd continues, “The woman who you’re dating tonight?”

Scott gulps, squeezing a “yeah” out of his teeth.

“That’s my girl.” Lloyd dead-pans, massaging the light smudge of your lipstick on the glass, “So, if you have any wrong idea, or any thoughts about her…” Lloyd has a cold gleam in his eyes, shakes his head and tuts, “Don’t.”

Poor Scott has his face drained of colors. His lips quivering, “I-I’m not- I don’t want to be part of this…”

“Good.” Lloyd smirks. Drinking from your glass, he licks his lips to savour the sweet honey taste of your lipstick, before giving his final order, “Now be a good boy, say your ‘nighty night’s, and get the fuck out of my turf.”

“Boss.” Avik’s eyes dart to the lavatory, signalling that you are approaching this table.

“Aaaand that’s my cue.” Lloyd stands up from the chair, looking content, “Keep this little interaction between us, will ya’?” He pouts, “I’d hate if she gets upset.”

By the time you reach this table, Scott sweats in buckets like he has just been to a sauna.

“Is everything alright?” You can’t help but ask.

“Yeah… yeah.” Scott could barely mask his trembling voice, or keep his eye contact, “I’m … feeling uncomfortable… right now.”

“Is it the food? Do you need to go to the bathroom?”

“No… I mean, I think so. The asparagus was raw.” Scott wipes the sweat off his pale face, “It’s been lovely, but …”

Your eyes dart to the table where Avik was sitting. Nope, he isn’t there. For a second you thought that Avik might have terrorized Scott into backing out. Such a stupid idea, why would Avik do that? You throw this thought to the back of your head, before suggesting if Scott needs a lift home, or to the hospital.

Scott nearly jumps from his spot upon hearing the offer, which confuses you as he avoids speaking or looking at you, as if you were a plague.

He takes his belongings, bids you good night before sprinting out of the restaurant.

What the fuck have you done???

You trouble yourself with the question when Avik returns to your side without a single sound, “Avik, I was wondering where you’ve been.”

“The backroom where I can observe the surveillance footage, ma’am.” His voice booms, “Shall I drive you home?”

“Yes, I suppose.” You sigh.

Avik gestures for you to walk, but you stop in your tracks.

“Avik?”

“Yes, Ma’am?”

“Did you have any food yet?”

You did not see him ordering anything when he was sitting across the aisle, nor do you believe that he’d risk losing his job over some half-cooked asparagus.

“… No Ma’am.”

You pinch the bridge of your nose. The exhaustion of trying to satisfy Lloyd’s tasks and doubting whether he’s being paranoid again takes over you for so long, you seem to lose a little bit of human emotions – neglecting dutiful Avik, as a result.

“Sorry about that, Avik.” You apologize, feeling slightly better that you’ve come to your senses after a long day, “I’ll have them prepare something vegan for takeaway.”

“…thank you, Ma’am.”

Grabbing a waiter passing by, you tell him about your request, before resting on your chair.

Out of sheer boredom, you tap on your glass, scraping the lipstick smudge off the crystal-clear surface with a used napkin.

Avik coughs as if he has just choked on his own spit.

“Everything alright, Avik?”

It seems like you’ve said this for the second time tonight.

“Yes. Ahem. Yes, all is well.” Avik clears his throat uncomfortably.

“Because you can totally have tonight off. I’m more than capable of driving home myself.” You offer sweetly, expecting him to take the suggestion and leave you here.

“Thank you, Ma’am.” Avik replies rigidly, his shirt collar tightening around his tanned skin as he speaks, “Thank you, but your safety is my priority.”

You should have known better than to negotiate with Lloyd’s muscle. They follow his orders like workers around a queen bee. Pursing your lips together, you decide not to spend time bargaining with Avik, but scroll on social media to distract yourself.

Avik lets out a long, slow exhale when you are focusing on your phone. He’s great at bodyguarding, but terrible at being a double agent.

The takeaway package arrives shortly – or it could be you are too tied up in the TikTok drama to notice time slipping away from the tip of your fingers. Avik takes the wheel while you sit in the back, trying hard not to think about the sudden change in Scott’s attitude.

It’s not like you don’t enjoy Scott’s company. You do. But Scott’s dashing out of the restaurant leaves a certain impression that you don’t think you’d forget anytime soon. Maybe the food was raw. Or burned. Or he had some pills. Still, it doesn’t explain why he ran out of the place like a bloodhound was chasing him.

Or is there something wrong with you? Something he’d grow repulsive of?

“Stop the car, please.” The thoughts in your head are preventing you from breathing. With Avik’s puzzled frown in the rearview mirror, you shrug, “You can go park the car. I want to have a little walk and some fresh air.”

After what must be an internal debate in Avik’s silence, he slowly stops at the curb, agreeing for you to have your fresh air.

The street is silent, not a living soul in sight. You close your eyes and breathe in the fresh air.

Oh well, maybe the air is not so fresh after all, with the smell of gasoline and dust and … smoke?

You turn around.

Lloyd’s Rolls-Royce follows you like a toddler in small steps, with a hand outstretched from the window that flicks his cigarette stub to the curb.

“Mr. Hansen?” You could’ve been dreaming. Why would Lloyd’s car follow you? Why – “What are you doing here?”

Lloyd steps out of the vehicle, popping a peppermint into his mouth. Crushing the candy with his jaw, he mumbles, “Just having a late-night stroll.”

A ridiculous idea comes into mind, and you ask in disbelief: “Are you following me?”

“No.” Lloyd stares at you straight into your eyes, but you’ve seen him lie better, “This is my turf. And you can’t ban me from patrolling my own territory.”

You can’t help but roll your eyes.

Sure. Patrolling. Very convincing. He just happened to stumble in front of your apartment building among hundreds of thousands of streets.

“Of course.” Maybe it’s the wine, because for crying out loud you would be tongue-tied if you were to say this at work, but the sarcasm drips out of your tone like water out of a broken faucet, because you are not in the mood. At all. “Good night, Mr. Hansen.”

“I had a great night.” Since he counts the scurrying of one horny young man as a win, Lloyd casually drops, “Can’t say the same about you.”

What the heck is wrong with him?

Now it’s definitely the wine that does the talking, as you poke him square in the chest with your index finger, your voice littered with fury, “It’s after-hours, and you don’t own my after-hours, in case you don’t have a watch, okay?”

Lloyd offers his characteristic lop-sided smile, “What - you’re gonna buy me one?”

“No?!” You huff out in disbelief. Has he taken hallucinating drugs? Why on earth is he acting funny? “This is not - look, Mr. Hansen-”

Lloyd steps closer. You get that whiff of smoke from his body, and the musky cologne that he occasionally uses in rare circumstances, and your words somehow get stuck in your throat.

“Lloyd.” He pronounces his name, loud and clear, “C’mon sunshine, lllllloyd.”

Lloyd. The name rolls to the tip of your tongue. It feels natural and soft, unlike Lloyd Hansen himself. But the syllable drives your heartbeat wild. He is your boss. You are obligated to call him Mr. Hansen.

Well, maybe not obligated. But you would feel more comfortable calling him Mr. Hansen. The name Lloyd sounds like an over-step of your work relationship.

Your work. Your beloved secretary job. Which is fine. Which you enjoy, as you handle his affairs with some effort. But the name. He’s asking you to call him Lloyd and that sounds more intimate than what you should be calling your boss.

“I- ” You are at a loss of words. What does he want? Does he want you to be his mistress? Which is ridiculous, because you don’t want to be the type of canary living in a birdcage and sing for him whenever he pleases. More importantly, he cannot be having thoughts about you – or does he want this to be a one-night thing where he could pull up his pants and comment on how long since he had a good fuck?

-stop it. It’s an insane thought. He’s not interested. So are you.

You accidentally look at his eyes, and you recognize the burning desire rooting deep down. It scorches you instantly as your eyes meet, before you lower your head to avoid the demanding gaze.

“You’re my boss…” You mutter weakly, knowing well that this stupid excuse does not prevent you from enjoying (or feeling safe at) Lloyd’s presence – most of the time, when he’s not bloody or throwing punches – or from the plain fact that maybe, just maybe that you feel a little different towards him, and that for the briefest of moments, you wished that he was sitting across the dinner table tonight, taking you out on a date.

Lloyd’s expression goes still for a second.

You can’t tell whether he’s mad or upset.

He sighs, taking a step towards you to close the space between you two, before framing your face in his hands and whispering in frustration, “God, you’re so dumb.”

His lips are soft, contrary to his mean words. They land on you with a bitter taste of burned tobacco, as his tongue swipes the seam of your lips, forcing an embarrassing mewl out of you.

It felt like Lloyd and his roughness. It felt like an iceberg breaking into chucks, whales lifting their head to breathe and the dam that withholds feelings inside your head cracks. It felt … right.

He slowly breaks away the kiss, sighing again, right next to your lips, his moustache making your cheek itch.

“Am I about to get a kick in the balls?” He asks softly, nose gently rubbing on yours.

“No…no.” Not that you don’t want to, because how dares he! Following you and kissing you like that! But because your head turning into a warm mush.

“Good.” He nibbles on your lips, you can feel his lips curving into a smile, “ ’cause I kinda like them.”

“Hmm?”

“Never mind.” He lands another kiss on you before pulling away. The bad-boy grin visible on his face.

You feel like you need to say something. Anything. So, you open your mouth and: “Do you want … a cup of coffee at my place?”

Lloyd cocks his eyebrows in surprise, but there’s no way he’d let slip of this chance, “Sure, why not.”

The mush in your brain refuses to leave. Your body acts on auto-pilot, leading you away from him.

You don’t even notice that he’s not following you this time, until he calls your name out of the blue, with a hint of amusement in his tone.

“Yes, Mr. Hansen?”

Lloyd decides to let slip of your poor choice of words this time, simply pointing his thumb in the other direction: “Your home is this way.”

Taglist (Also tagging those who might be interested): @stargazingfangirl18 @sarahdonald87 @joannaliceevans-fanficblog @magnificentsaladllama @biteofcherry @petalj @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory @thezombieprostitute @yiiiikesmish @warriorblu @vonalyn @notathingjustthere @lokislady82 @irishhappiness @toozmanykids @alicedopey @cakesandtom @universitypenguin @openup-yourmind @helenaeisenhower @wilsons-striped-ties @tittittoee @bean-is-reading @yearningforsappho @esposadomd @salvatoreitmeanssaviour

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#lloyd hansen x you #lloyd hansen x reader #lloyd hansen #lloyd hansen fluff #lloyd hansen fanfiction #lloyd hansen fic #mob!lloyd hansen #the gray man #a whiff of blood

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etoilesbienne · 8 months

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Forever's Entire Proposal to BadBoyHalo q!BBH Analysis + Transcript below the cut.

Before I start, I want to make clear this is from BBH's perspective + mentality, and I do not speak Portuguese, as well as none of this is intended as character writing criticism. I really like the direction both of these characters are going in, I just want to highlight how much of a horror show this scene is! I'm starting much earlier than what's shown in the clip at the top, unfortunately Tumblr's file limits exist :/ Timestamp for the entire clip I'm using is at here in BBH's vod.

Some preface for everything going on in this scene and context:

For one, Forever's current drugged arc has continued references to the Vargas Era in Brazilian history, which, to heavily oversimplify, is a period when culture was suppressed by Getúlio Vargas, a 1930's Brazilian dictator, and made to look very perfected to the outside world to cover up the many issues from the government at the time. (I really recommend looking more into the Vargas Era on your own, I can say I've found every reading on this topic to be both interesting, as well as gives Forever's current arc a really good layer of historical reference with his presidency. It's a good topic to look into!)

Mostly, it's a representation of how fucked Forever's mental state currently is. Not only is he erratic from the drugs he was put under - He's actively been washed over with nationalistic propaganda. That's fucking horrifying for the President of the island to be under! It gains another layer of horror as well, because to all of the islanders, Forever is the only community member with any perceived sort of power. Him becoming erratic - pulling a gun on Phil, forcing other people to sign up for the drugs and medical procedure he went under - it's something that carries weight in terms of the island being united and working together, and is currently reinforcing the concerns the French group had with seeing him as unfit for power, with BBH included in all of these presidential coup meetings as being a sort of "honorary french" deal.

On Bad's side, however, is the known fact he finds marriage overrated, and meta-wise cc!BBH has mentioned he's playing a "more aromantic approach" because he doesn't want to be another character stuck in the shipping boat. (This isn't a knock against shipping, I just think it's good knowledge to have about q!BBH's character/stance on romance going into this.) And then finally, when the link timestamp starts, but before Forever has truly begun his serious conversation, BBH does this:

He switches out his regular Totem of Undying to specifically a Death totem. It's very quick, but I think it sets up his mentality going into this... I think he expected Forever's final reaction.

Forever: Here, Bad. BadBoyHalo: Hello. F: Hello! F & BBH, simultaneously: So, uh - BBH: Do you know where any of the kids are? F: I know where Richarlyson is, but, oh uh maybe we should go a little bit further there's a translator screen. BBH: Okay. F: Otherwise, I want my chat to know what we're talking about.

[Break for when they move the benches again]

F: Here, nice, nice, nice. F: OH! It's even better! BBH: Yay. F: It's perfect, I would say! BBH: So, you don't - F: Yeah, I don't know where the eggs are, Bad, but I'm really - there's something I know, okay? BBH: Uh-huh. F: I can tell you. BBH: Tell me. F: They are just good and fine, okay? BBH: What do you mean? F: They're fine! They're well! BBH: Look, what do you want, Forever? F: Ah, I want to get married! BBH: No, I mean, like, what do you want? F: Why? BBH: Like, if you know what happened to the - F: Why… don't we just get married! BBH: Do you know what happened to the eggs? Do you know where they are? F: Let's get married. BBH: What's happening, Forever? Etoiles: [mumbling] Fit: Hooray. Tina: Hip Hip Hooray! F: Let's - Let's just get married. Fit: Hooray. Tina: Hip Hip Hooray! Fit: Hooray. Wooooooo. Tina: He saved us. That's crazy! BBH: Okay. Oh, hey Etoiles. You - You're not focused, Forever. Tina: It's probably the most beautiful battle ever! Of all time! In a rose field! F: Yeah, I'm totally focused! I'm happy! Etoiles: Thank you, Tina! Tina: Yes! BBH: No - No, you're focused on the wrong thing - Etoiles: You see, I clicked well! I clicked well! F: Guys, can you give me and Bad a moment, please? - Tina: [Overlapping with Forever] I'm so sorry - F: - We are having a deep conversation, I am asking him to get married! Tina: - I'm so sorry Mr. President, I didn't know. Etoiles: Okay! Okay, Forever, what I, Forever, I - I don't understand, like, there's the code who's attacking us, and you don't give a shit, but you are the president? F: Where - Where is the codes? I want to help you guys! Everything will be perfect! Tell me. Pierre: Congratulations Badboy and Mr. President, congratulations F: If the codes are not here right now, Etoiles, you are just being inconvenient, because I want to get married, and you are just in the way, man - Etoiles: Okay - F: - Go away, please! Etoiles: Okay, okay, I will go away. Okay, okay. F: If the codes show up, you will tell me, okay? BBH: [short confused laugh] F: [cheering as Etoiles walks away] YES! BBH: [looking around at the sky] F: See, Bad? This is how we solve problems. Isn't that perfect? Pierre: Can I be your best man for the wedding? BBH: What? No? There's not gonna be a wedding - F: He asks me for drugs all the time, Bad, he just asks me for drugs. BBH: - okay? F: [laughing] Pierre: Huh? BBH: He's obviously not in his right mind, AyPierre. Pierre: Yes, look at this smile! Must use a lot of uh… BBH: A smile doesn't mean a whole lot. F: Pierre, I will, I will tell Cucurucho, man, I told you already. Pierre: Yes, I want to be happy… F: Cucurucho will come to you and he will put the smile on your face! Pierre: Yes! F: Now go away, I want to get married. Pierre: I want it! F: (Portuguese as Pierre leaves) F: Oh my god, finally some silence. So Bad, BBH: mhm. F: Don't you think this place looks beautiful? BBH: I guess. F: Oh my god, they're still around so the translator is just crazy. Let's change it again please. Sorry, but - F: (Portuguese, I am assuming it is more ooc focused, my apologies. If I'm wrong, feel free to correct me!)

[Break for when they move locations, this is where the clip above begins.]

F: So Bad, BBH: Yes? F: What is it going to be? Are you going to get married, or not? BBH: Why do you want to get married? F: Yeah, because everything's perfect, right? A marriage would be perfect, as well! BBH: Why do you think everything's perfect? F: Why don't you think everything's perfect? BBH: Because we don't have our kids, Forever. They're gone. F: No, no they're just fine, man! You are not seeing the world the way you should, Bad, and I'm going to tell you - BBH: How should I be seeing it? F: I'm here for you, buddy. I'm here for you, buddy, okay? BBH: Is anyone here for you? F: And I'm going to tell Cucurucho that he should help you! Like he did to me. BBH: I don't want his help. F: You need his help, Bad. Just - BBH: I don't need his help, Forever. F: - Bad, you are looking bad, Bad, - BBH: I feel fine. F: - you know? BBH: You know what would help me, Forever? F: So let's get married! BBH: Forever. You know what would help me? F: Hm? What? BBH: Tell that white puffball to give me my son back. To bring back all of our kids. F: White puffball? What does that mean? BBH: Cucurucho. F: Okay. BBH: What does he want? What does he want, Forever? Does he want diamonds? F: Why do you think Cucurucho is the one with the eggs? Why do you think Cucurucho is the one with your child? BBH: I know it was him, Forever. F: What are you guys getting from exploding the whole city? Why did I become the president that's trying to help everyone, and you guys are just exploding everything? This is funny man, this is perfect. [laughs] You know? You guys are just too crazy! [laughs] Man, you guys are exploding stuff, and you all are saying that I need help? [laughs] That's funny, man, that's funny! BBH: We need our kids back, Forever. That's why. We'll stop, all Cucurucho has to do is return the eggs. I want Dapper back, I want Pomme back, all the kids back. F: Why do you think Cucurucho is the one with the eggs? BBH: He obviously is the one with the eggs, okay? F: What proof do you have? BBH: Remember - F: Cucurucho's great, Bad. BBH: - I saw - F: Uh huh. BBH: - It was a strange person in the federation building, Mysterioso or whatever his name was? F: [laughs] Yeah, he doesn't like [I cannot figure out what he says here] BBH: I saw him at the federation building. I bet that's the same person who gave Sofia's plans to Maximus. F: [laughing] BBH: That means the Federation was responsible for Sofia. F: Okay, okay. BBH: That means they're behind everything! There's not anything they don't know about. F: Did Maximus tell you that that man is the same one that gave Sofia to him. BBH: He said it was a mysterious hooded figure, and there's only one - F: There's only - Can only be one - BBH: - mysterious hooded figure. F: - It can only be one. BBH: If the federation does not - did not take the kids, they know who did, and they know where they are - F: Ohh. BBH: - I just want them back, that's it. F: Yeah.

BBH: What do they want - What do they want, Forever? Mr. President? You're in contact with them, what do they want? F: Well, Bad, I can tell you something, you know? This is actually quite funny, this is actually quite funny. BBH: What's funny about it? F: So everyone on the island thinks that I, being the president - me, being the president - means that I'm working for the Federation, but do you know what you guys don't see? BBH: What? F: I am the only one working for you guys! A favor(?), you know, the federation does what they want. I'm the only one that tried to represent the people of the island. BBH: So you're trying to get our kids back? F: Oh, they're just fine right now. BBH: Where are they? F: I don't know, sleeping maybe? BBH: How do you they're fine? F: Cucurucho said it's classified! Isn't that funny? BBH: Do you believe it? F: That it's classified? I don't know, is there anything to believe in that? BBH: [sighs] BBH: What happened to you, Forever? F: What? BBH: What happened to you? What did they do to you? F: Uh, I don't know what you're talking about, Bad. I'm just feeling so good, 'cuz everything's so good man. BBH: This isn't like you. You're not acting like yourself. F: Why? Why, I'm happy? I'm not happy? You say I'm not a happy person? BBH: That's just it Forever, you wouldn't be this happy with Richarlyson missing. F: Richarlyson's okay, he's just - BBH: Is he? Is he? F: - sleeping a lot. BBH: Has he gotten up? Has he danced around? Has he put any signs down? Has he said anything to you? Have you built any projects with him recently? Have you done anything with him at all? F: [Deep sigh that turns into a laugh] No, no. BBH: Then how is he fine? F: [long pause] Bad, I have something I would like to show you. Or maybe test on you. BBH: What? F: You know, you guys are just so funny with that clock joke. BBH: Clock joke? F: Yeah, I want to test something. F: Don't you want to get married? BBH: I want my son back. I want Dapper, Pomme, F: [begins launching mines] BBH: [evades, throws health potions] F: STOP THAT FUCKING CLOCK NOISE. BBH: You like your mines, Forever? BBH: It won't bring Richarlyson back.

To start from the beginning, BBH is under no pretenses that this would be a marriage proposal of all things. All he is aware of is that Forever wants to have a serious discussion with him. He's also gone out of his way to put himself on a Death totem, meaning he has every possibility to be downed if Forever were to successfully attack him.

With Forever's current mental state and reinforcing a societal idealism & a desired performance of aggressive happiness and "normalcy" - his character now desiring something like a marriage can be read multiple ways. For one, an imitation of how one of his closest friends, his ex-husband no less, was recently married and is currently considered one of the best federation workers (albeit begrudging on Cellbit's part). For two, a marriage is a pretty huge symbol of a plastique performance of a perfect life. Especially in this context, it's saccharine, it's a status symbol, everyone wants it. With the medication as well, we don't truly know if Forever genuinely feels strongly about BBH to want to marry him, or if he feels he has to be in a marriage for a "perfect" life with BBH being "the best option" as a spouse. (Again, this is not a criticism of Forever's character, this is a very symbolically rich move for him to do, and I, personally, cannot get enough of it.)

Now back to BBH, this is a guy who is admittedly not looking for romance, not trying to romance anyone, and is currently in the middle of a character arc having to do with how pissed he is at Forever for not running the government in a way he approves, and then getting wrongfully jailed by Forever. I do not think BBH is in any way afraid of Forever as a person, but I do think BBH has concerns about what he may be forced to do in an attempt to get his children back. BBH as a character in general has very, very little regard for his own life, watch a pov of himself in a dungeon and just see how many totems pop, but he does care about his kids more than anything else in the world. The way his character goes about his care for his kids isn't something that often occurs in more masculine-presented characters like him either, frankly I think a lot of more ship oriented readings of him end up hyper-feminizing him* because of this "maternal" archetype.

In a return to Forever's saccharine performance of perfectionism, I find the moments Forever makes the both of them move across the rose field - The rose field, previously quite literally stained by blood as Etoiles had just finished another battle with the code there, tensions are running high and everyone is still distressed from the eggs going missing - I realize it's because cc!Forever ooc wanted to move to not have the chatbox be interrupted by other people speaking, but it's just so good thematically. He keeps moving to have a better view of roses. It's never perfect enough. They have to keep moving. They have to be alone. Nobody else is allowed to be around when he corners BBH with the marriage proposal. Nobody can get in the way.

Speaking of people interrupting, the other members appearing in the middle of the conversation adds to the fridge horror that's been subtly happening all the way through. Nobody pauses and makes sure BBH is okay throughout this scene, everybody is extremely sure that he is fine and can handle himself. The only person to even make a criticism of Forever is Etoiles, over being somewhat irritated that it looks like Forever has been doing little to nothing as President to aid new members or former islanders (despite this technically not being true, Etoiles has seen none of it, and has been giving new players items continuously in an effort to help them, as well as has had little time to do anything except fight code entities).

And then onto the rejection, BBH never agrees to the marriage at all, because why would he? I've seen quite a lot of discussion thus far that he doesn't reject Forever outright, but I disagree, it's a little moment in there, and I couldn't get it in the video posted itself, but he explicitly tells Pierre "there's not gonna be a wedding," and then is cut off by Forever. It's quiet, I don't think many people heard it outright, but BBH is right in his assertion Forever isn't in his right mind to be asking for marriage in the first place.

The other side of that, however, is that BBH is very well aware Forever didn't want to hear an outright rejection either. BBH knows what Forever is capable of, and he knows this version of Forever is not his usual self. It's not an easy situation, especially when he's fully under the impression Forever does have some power with the Federation, and fully believes the Federation has the eggs. Whether or not this is actually true doesn't really matter to Bad's perspective here, he's deadset in this belief. With that belief in mind, how is someone supposed to respond to being cornered about marriage - a concept he has little interest in - but the person cornering him is 1. known to be volatile due to recent events, 2. potentially has some form of contact to the people currently holding the eggs captive, and potentially put his children more at risk than they already are, 3. the literal only person in power on the island.

I don't think BBH ever believed he had the option to outright tell Forever no, he's in a depressed state as is, his kids might be dead for all he knows, and he has the impression Forever could bring harm to them.

Admittedly it is interesting how many outright untrue facts BBH holds onto, but cannot change his belief in them. His opinion and perspective of Forever is one thing, but it's much, much more obvious when he brings up the connection between the new Mysterioso and the previous masked person who gave the plans for Sofia to Maxo, those were two separate unknown figures as we know as the audience, but Bad does not know this, and does make assumptions and connect dots in his own right, tending to his own detriment. This is all intended here, he's wrong about Forever factually, but to his knowledge he's acting in the best way he can. He's under the impression Forever is just not telling the full truth to him about everything with the eggs disappearing, and believes the federation is lying. I think it's made even more obvious he's prioritizing the eggs over everything else here, especially with his final statement about Richarlyson. BBH believes the eggs are the only true way to every player's heart, and blatantly ignores the actual romance aspect of what marriage implies, because romance genuinely does not matter to him at all. He doesn't have time to worry about being in a relationship if his son might be dead.

Mostly, I find this scene to be a great relationship horror set up, because damn if I haven't been on dates like this, where I feel like I can't say no or something might happen. I understand the paranoia and anxiety surrounding q!BBH's mindset in the moment. It isn't a rational response by any means, no, but it is a very aggressively human response to this situation for a demon to have.

Basically, I don't think BBH is a fundamentally romantic character in the first place, nor do I think he'd ever be happy in a cutesy marriage position anyway, he never once responds romantically to any of this, and solely prioritizes the eggs, the final Richarlyson line cements this fact. It's not a dig at how Forever will never have BBH romantically - it's a dig at Forever based on what BBH's priority is, his kids.

*I want to be clear this statement is meant to be a neutral fact, it's just worth mentioning in an analysis like this that BBH as a character is more typically set on the feminine side by the fanbase, and how his character's interpretations are influenced by that reading.

#posts from the aether #qsmp #qsmp analysis #q!bbh #q!badboyhalo #4halo #q!4halo #qsmp clips

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seronsalk · 2 months

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A pretty little nightingale...

Part 1

Alastor x female reader (sorry gents and non-binary pals, I'll do you next!)

Masterlist AN: An idea I've been obsessed with recently...sorry if it's bad. Dividers from our lovely @saradika-graphics Warnings: Mention of Violence

"Sometimes I stare at my ceiling for so long that I forget where I am. I forget I am in a fiery pit where at any moment a knife could be jabbed into my shoulders or back and twisted. At any moment I could be killed, kidnapped, tortured, or even feasted upon. Would I taste good? Would my killers be satisfied with my death or would they too be disappointed in what I could have been for them? And even now as my alarm goes off, I wonder where my soul would go if I did one night, not wake up."

The morning in hell was pretty normal to the morning's you were alive. Wake up, get ready, go downstairs to the club, dance and sing. That beautiful structure, belting one's heart to an audience every day with no worry.

Until you found yourself doing the same thing, but in your afterlife. In hell. You will forever curse yourself because who else would you blame for your eternal damnation?

As you walked down the stairs to the dark empty club, the other performers were there already practicing.

"Look who rolled out of bed! And how is our princessa this morning?" Dante spoke, he was an insufferable demon to be around this early in the morning, and that Spanish accent rolled off his tongue right into his trumpet. He was a beautiful demon; all the musicians were. It made you wonder why such pretty boys were stuck down here with you.

You smiled at him before speaking, "doing just fine til you opened your mouth, save your air for the horn." Another musician whose name was Hernando, forced everyone to refer to him as Sir Pesci for some weird reason then spoke with a laugh in his voice. "As if saving his air would help him sound better!"-"Hey Hernando, did your mom get the flores I sent her?" Dante suddenly spoke. "Ahhh, vaffanculo," the Italian man cursed back as he waved his hands dismissively at Dante.

You laughed at the scene as the other band members didn't understand a word being said under the accents before they all turned to you. It was warm-up time and it would go on for at least three hours.

By the time the jazz club was about to open you had dolled yourself up. The servers and bartenders had finally rolled in.

Throughout your shift many older sinners had trotted in at the sound of the music. But as you went to take a break in-between songs Dante came up to you. "Y/N, apparently some big shot wants to talk to you backstage."

You looked at him curiously, "Why m-" but you were cut off by your boss. He was an arrogant man who cared less for what others thought of him unless they were giving him money or popularity. One time just to get him to hear you when you complained about fixing the door in your dressing room, you had to pay him twenty bucks. He was built like a bull and like a bull, he sometimes charged in without thought or reason.

"Y/n let's go, got a big customer who wants to meet you!" he dragged you away with his bulky hands. Dante gave you a shrug as he walked off.

Alastor's POV:

It was a normal day in hell, he strutted down the road cane in hand. He was on his way to the cannibal colony to meet with Rosie.

When demons saw him they would jump into traffic or even through windows to avoid his gaze. His devilish constant smile sent even the tougher, bigger demons groveling.

As he was walking though, his ears twitched. The sound of jazz, but more prominent, a beautiful voice. He could recognize the song immediately, Heatwaves, by Ethel Waters. He followed the voice around the corner of the street and saw some demons trickling into a club. He twirled his cane in interest and his smile became wider.

He walked towards the bouncers, two of the biggest mobsters stood strong and firm, but one look at Alastor made them sweat. "Good'ay my good gents, tell me what is this fine establishment about then?" A little hint of Alastors transatlantic southern accent sprung like cattails in a bayou.

One of the bouncers spoke in an almost whisper, "It's The Spotted Fawn jazz club, sir." Alastor's smile widened in interest again. "Well, pay me no mind gentleman, I simply will be taking a look around." And with that, he walked past them and a second later one of the bouncers told the big boss.

He walked in, it smelled of rye and smoke. He loved the atmosphere, it was like he was in New Orleans all over again.

Then your voice struck his ears like lightning. He looked over towards the stage, jazz musicians playing behind you as you sang. Your h/l h/c hair bouncing as you swayed your hips to your own song.

Your boss had interrupted his train of thoughts, "Why I wouldn't have expected the radio demon to be in my club-welcome sir." He offered his hand to shake and Alastor's smile twisted as he ignored his hand. "Charming establishment you have here sir! I appreciate people who are still following the more traditional...ways." Alastor spoke his eyes wandering back to you as you danced on stage with one of the musicians.

"Say, my good man, who is that lovely dame singing?" Alastor inquired as he twirled his cane. "That'd be y/n sir, one of my finer performers." Y/n....your name twirled circles in his mind. You were gorgeous, as was your voice.

And for the first time in a while, since his mother and Rosie, he felt admiration for a woman. He spoke again, "Well I would love to meet h-" he was cut off. "2k upfront," was all the bull-built man said. Alastor's neck basically snapped as he looked at him, "Excuse me?" he said. "I don't trust any of you overlords and the last thing my performers need is the attention from one of you causing them, or me, problems. You wanna talk to her? Pay me or strike a deal sir." This bull had no class it made Alastor cackle. "Normally I'd kill you where you stand, but because I'm feeling generous about how lovely this establishment I'll let you off with a warning. Talk like that again towards me and I'll pull your guts out and serve them to your customers." His radio static backed his voice like a snarling panther. "Now about this deal, tell me what do you desire?" "Follow me we talk business in the back." The bull led Alastor away.

The bull brought her into his office, where Alastor was sitting. Her eyes widened a little, but she quickly sat down. "I was told you wanted to speak with me?" she asked. They were alone now.

EN: Hi guys so I like this idea, I was gonna make a part two, but let me know what you think!

#alastor the radio demon #hazbin hotel #hazbin alastor #x reader #hellaverse #alastor altruist #radio demon #alastor hazbin hotel #alastor x reader

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strawberrylabs · 7 months

Text

Whumptober day 5 with Wanderer!

Prompt: debris

Whumptober masterlist

Summary: Wanderer regrets his last words to you.

Warnings: Being burried alive, arguments, blood, yelling, death, willing death

It wasn't uncommon for you and Wanderer to get into arguments.

He wasn't always the best with words, or with being honest about his emotions.

Usually conflicts could be resolved within the hour and everything would be fine.

This time it was different.

"Fine! Go ahead and die! Abandon me like everyone else did!"

Spit flew out of wanderer's mouth as his anger seeps through his words.

You had recently come back from a particularly dangerous commission, one where your life was out in danger more than once, and you had received quite a few injuries.

"You know that's not fair! I'm doing my job! You know I would never just intentionally die, that's stupid!"

Normally you were calm when arguing with him. You know he's learning, and you'd usually have patience.

But not this time.

He scoffs.

"Well you're human so I wouldn't put it past you to be stupid enough to die. You would be selfish enough to leave me alone after getting me attached to your mortal ass!"

"Fuck you."

He turns to you

"What was that?!"

"Fuck you! I have been nothing but patient with you these past months as you learn about emotions! I've dealt with everytime you yelled and given you time to calm down! But I will not be called selfish for saving someone elses life! And I will not be guilt-tripped by you accusing me of abandoning you!"

You seethe at him, pointing an accusing finger at him.

"What would you do if I did die? Is my last memory going be worrying about you hating me for supposedly abandoning you? Is my name going to be tarnished by your opinion on my death?"

You could feel yourself boiling with unbridled rage.

"Yeah well maybe it'd be better if you died! Then this false heart wouldn't feel so heavy all the time!"

The silence after his words was heavy.

"I'm going to finish my commissions. I'll come back when you stop being a prick."

You fix him in place with a hard glare.

Wanderer feels a lump in his throat. He'd seen you glare sure, but never at him.

You close the door behind you without a second thought.

Fine. Wanderer would wait. It's not like you could avoid him forever, you live with him after all.

And so he waited.

He would never admit that he didn't sit down once. He would never admit that he didn't stop pacing.

He would never admit that he didn't notice the hours passing, too stuck in his own head.

It was only when he heard someone yelling about the location of your commission did he snap out of his daze.

"Someone said the buildings in the area collapsed!"

Wanderer was out the door in an instant.

Surely you were out of there already right?

The only reason you weren't home is because you being petty, right?

'What would you do if I did die? Is my last memory going be worrying about you hating me for supposedly abandoning you? Is my name going to be tarnished by your opinion on my death?'

Wanderer bit his cheek so hard it bled.

He was an idiot.

Wanderer finally made it to the old village after a few short minutes.

The place was a wreck.

Not a single building was left standing.

But what caught Wanderer's eye was a familiar piece of clothing.

Time froze.

There, in the light of the now setting sun, painting the morbid scene in a sardonic shade of red; lay you. Your lower half covered by rubble of a half fallen, unstable, building. Blood was leaking from where your body disapeared.

He had to get you out.

And he had to get you out now- or else the rest of the building would collapse.

"Hey! You moron, stay with me!"

He got no response.

He left out a breathe when he felt your pulse. But you were unconscious.

"Come on! Wake up! I can't get you out like this!"

He grabs underneath your arms and pulls, eliciting a whimper of pain from you.

"Shit! Come on!"

The more he pulled, the more cries fell from your mouth.

He tried to lift the debris, but it just made the remaining structure unstable.

Before he knew it, hot tears were streaming down his face.

Normally he wouldn't let anyone see him cry.

But in this moment, he couldn't bring himself to care.

"im sorry! Ok?! Im sorry! I know I was wrong, dammit! I know I'm terrible with words and emotions and im sorry I took it out on you! I know it was stupid!"

he grits his teeth, not attempting fighting the tears

"But archons be damned, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me! I need you! You make me whole! You make this fake heart feel something! and I'm not letting you leave me!"

"I'm sorry I said what I did! I was a fool! I know you would never leave me and life would be unbearable without you!

He places his forehead on yours

"so please..." he whispers

"Please! Stay!!"

He feels a hand on his cheek and snaps his eyes open to see your weak gaze meeting his.

One look at your expression told him all he needed.

You weren't making it out alive.

"..I'm staying with you."

You sputter

"You can't! This building will fall any second. You have to go-"

"I don't care! I'm not abandoning you. I'm not leaving the one idiot I love in this cursed world!"

Wanderer moves to be beside you, lying down as best he can to hold you. You action is awkward given the obstacles, but it's morbidly comforting all the same.

No more words are spoken as the two of you look at each other.

No moves were made, now phrases uttered, but the emotion in your eyes conveyed all that needed to be said.

'You loved him.'

'And he loved you.'

You held each other tight as you focused only on one another, foreheads touching.

The last thing wanderer saw as the roof fell, was your resigned, love filled eyes.

And then it all faded to nothing.

Link for part 2(currently a poll to decide what to do)

#whumptober2023 #no. 5 #wanderer x reader #death tw #buried alive tw #wanderer x reader angst #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact #genshin impact x reader angst

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molinaesque · 6 months

Text

On the topic of Raphael and him "being bad in bed".

Okay I'm only ever going to talk about this at length once and then never again. I've been avoiding talking about it until now because bringing it up always just seems to keep this topic in circles and it becomes an endless pit of nothing.

First of all, I know most of the time (like maybe 70% of the time) it's for the lolz. I get it. Hell, Raphael fans will be the FIRST to quip about this.

BUT

For those taking it seriously one way or another... It becomes such old hat VERY fast.

Those who use it as a jab towards Raphael havers are... Kinda dumb. Because it's like... Okay, and? You act as if somehow negates the entirety of his character somehow just because "HAR HAR HANDSOME DEVIL MAN IS BAD AT SEX" and it's so... vapid and boring? Also it seems a lot of people keep thinking "bad at sex" = JUST that he finishes too fast and nothing else but they seem to forget that the player character came up with that insult on the spot (rather than seeing it as a commentary about his pure selfishness and where it stems from). Haarlep is also a bias source. There's a semblance of resentment from them AND they're a damn incubus. EVERYONE'S terrible in bed in comparison (have you seen Tav? Little shit just lays there like a sack of potatoes during the Haarlep scene). This isn't me saying "Oh it means Raphael is terrific in bed because Haarlep's word cannot be trusted". HELL, no. Quite the opposite, actually. I'm saying "okay... What can I glean from that set of information?"

I feel like this goes for Raphael havers too who have this conversation. I feel like many tend to fall into this trap of odd desparity when they realise that "oh no our magnificent hot man is bad at sex" and somehow treat it as if it's forever a caveat and somehow negates the ENTIRETY of Raphael as a complex character. My first reaction when I got this information during House of Hope was laughing and then going "mmm that's so interesting and adds such a great layer to this already amazing character. Where else can I take this to". In fact, House of Hope as a quest does SO much in adding all these tidbits that make Raphael not just another boring, all knowing, god like, ineffible character. It made me love and appreciate his character even MORE. instead of going in circles and lamenting in how this is somehow "the worst thing ever", I think it's way more fun to explore it and delve into where the root of his narcissism and self esteem issues come from. The dichotomy and complexes of his character. There's SO much to talk about there and yet we're still just stuck on "haha devil man is a bottom and bad in bed" (which is another ridiculous thing btw because people seem to misconstrue bottoms as JUST being submissive. Y'all need to be more open minded 😂).

Apologies if this came off as ranty/condescending maybe. But it's coming from someone who's just minding her own business but have to see a variation of that line CONSTANTLY in the notes/tags on my art/gif posts and as I said... It gets so old REALLY fast. Like please be more imaginative than this, I beg of you. 😭

#bg3 raphael #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #I'm definitely missing on some thoughts here but I'm typing this while starving and tired #Aaaand I won't talk about it at length ever again because again #It's SO boring as a topic holy god #The dude is a goldmine of endless directions and topics and themes #We could talk about his childhood - his existential crisis of his upbringing and being half mortal and devil #We could talk about about his obsession with absolute control and freedom and power and want of that in the hells #We could talk about the myriads of ways he and Tav could continue their odd relationship if they went Team Raphael route #We could talk about his diaries #We could talk about his endless dichotomies and why it makes him such a well rounded character without giving away too much #We could talk about his obsession with the arts and literature and how much of a nerd he is for it #But no #All we talk about is his goddamn prowess in the bedroom... And that's a damn shame #Bg3 thoughts #There's the new goddamn Chains of Asmodeus out too... There's SO much we can talk a out concerning Raphael and all that new info #Come on now

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writeroutoftime · 1 year

Text

Safe and Sound

(this picture is not mine and credit belongs to this twitter account here! if you are the owner and want me to take it down, please let me know)

pairing: eddie munson x reader (gn)

summary: (based on the fanart above) after everything in the upside down, eddie was recovering in the hospital, never alone with his faithful members of hellfire. one day you come to visit and see the above scene before finally letting the emotions of the past few weeks catch up with you

warnings: none

words: 1.2k

a/n: soooo, I've had this idea forever and think this fanart is so insanely cute! please enjoy because this was so much fun to write, and I would love to know what you thought! have a lovely day!

oOoOo

Your footsteps echoed against the linoleum floor as you made your way down the hall. This journey had become an almost daily experience. So much so that you barely noticed the strong smell of disinfectant that lingered in the air. You shifted the bag on your shoulder, smiling briefly at the crinkle that resulted from the snacks you had brought.

Just a few doors away from your destination you heard shouts of screaming and scuffling. Instantly, your heart began to beat faster, and you hurried your steps until you stood right outside your boyfriend's room. You were about to enter, ready to take on whatever danger awaited you on the other side when you heard Eddie's voice ring through, laughter undercutting his threat.

"You are so dead for that, Wheeler!"

Leaning against the doorframe, you peaked your head into the hospital room and relaxed the moment you saw the scene before you. Four teen boys surrounded your boyfriend as he sat up in his hospital bed. On top the blankets was an intricate board game, pieces scattered about, and a D&D guidebook near Eddie's lap.

A soft smile crossed your face as you continued to watch the five of them so involved in their fantasy world. You knew it was a welcomed distraction for Eddie who had been restless over being stuck in his scratchy, hospital bed for the past week. The way Eddie's face lit up as the story continued made you feel warm. It wasn't until the droplet hit your cheek that you even knew you were crying.

The tiniest groan from inside the room caught your attention, and you noticed the way Eddie shifted, trying to find a respite from the pain his scars and healing wounds caused. Silently, you wiped the tear away and straightened the non-existent wrinkles from your clothing. Clearing your throat, you revealed your spot from the doorframe, pulling the boys out of their game and back to reality.

"Sorry to break up the party, but I think it's time to call it a day." you encouraged, stepping inside to press a kiss to the top of Eddie's curls.

"You heard the boss, boys. We'll pick this up next time." Eddie echoed, closing his guide and helping to collect all the pieces. "And don't think I'll let your betrayal slide, Wheeler. You better watch out." Eddie warner, pointing a figure at Mike as he walked out of the room, rolling his eyes good naturedly.

The rest of the party followed, all offering various shouts of goodbyes to both you and Eddie. As they cleared out, you dragged your designated chair next to Eddie's bed and pulled out the snacks you knew he had been craving.

Laying them all at before him, you offered up a sly grin. "I figured you were sick of the slop they call hospital food, so I brought you some treats from the outside world."

"And this is why you are the best and I love you!" Eddie groaned out, immediately digging into a can of pringles. "Oh, this tastes amazing, I could die I'm so happy right now."

You flinched at his choice of words and once again when Eddie's groan of satisfaction morphed into a hiss of pain moments later. Immediately, you rushed to help him lay back and get comfortable in a position that wouldn't aggravate his healing wounds. Once settled, you sat back down and grasped Eddie's hand tightly.

"How have you been feeling today? Do you want me to grab a nurse? We could get you something for the pain, I'm sure." you rambled, wishing you could do anything more to alleviate his pain.

Eddie's response was to lift your hand and press a soft kiss across your knuckles, offering you his signature puppy dog eyes. "No more than yesterday." he promised. "Besides, I don't want to be relying on those pills. Having you here with me makes it all better."

His words did little to ease your worries and you could feel the dam burst inside you as all the emotions from the past few weeks spilled out. After everything that happened with the Upside Down, you felt as though you had to be the one to keep it together; to be strong not just for Eddie but for everyone else involved.

It was you who stepped up and offered to be the shoulder to cry on, to deal with the lies you told Hawkins Hospital, and everything else that came with the aftermath of dealing with the supernatural. But in your mission to be the strong and tough one, you had never allowed yourself a moment to grieve and process what happened, which is why it all poured out in that moment.

Shoulders shaking, you let the sobs escape your lips, thankful Lucas had shut the door on his way out. Exhausted, you fell forward onto Eddie's bed and buried your head in his lap. You had almost died. Eddie had almost died. You had watched as he bleed out before your eyes and nearly subcumed to his injuries before the staff at the hospital could save him. It was you who had been dealing with nightmares for the past few weeks and relieving the worst moment of your life each time you closed your eyes.

Eddie looked down upon you stunned and unsure of what he could do. His strong hands rubbed up and down your back as he encouraged you to let it all out through soft whispers and gentle "shhhhhs" until you could calm down. Minutes later you lifted your head, hair askew and eyes puffy as you looked into Eddie's eyes, feeling slightly ashamed.

"I'm sorry, Eds." you mumbled, scrubbing at your eyes. "You didn't need that when you're still trying to heal."

"Hey, hey." Eddie interrupted, cupping your cheeks as carefully as he could. "You don't need to apologize for a second. I know life hasn't been easy on you these past few weeks. Talk to me, babe. What's going on?"

You opened your mouth, closed it, and took a deep sigh before you finally allowed yourself to voice your fears and frustrations. "Eddie, you nearly died." you whimpered. "I held onto you as you were bleeding out and we tried to get you to the hospital in time. I know you were trying to save us, but I-I just can't those images out of my head.

And I'm just so scared, all the time. Scared that I'll blink or won't be here and you're going to slip away from me again. I can't lose you, Eddie, I just can't." you admitted, tears streaming down your cheeks once more.

Stunned into silence, Eddie engulfed you into his arms as best he could from his spot on the bed. His heart ached to know you had been carrying all those thoughts and feelings around. He knew what he did had been reckless, but he did it to save you.

"Sweetheart, look at me." he said, lifting your head up, taking your hand. He pressed your hand to his chest where you could feel his heart thump against his ribcage. "Feel that? I'm still here. I'm still with you, and I'm not going anywhere anytime soon. I'm sorry you had to go through all that on your own." Eddie comforted, pressing sweet kisses anywhere he could on your skin.

"I know it's not as simple as telling you all that," Eddie continued. "but together we'll heal and move on from this together."

With a watery smile, you nodded your head. "Together." you echoed. Things wouldn't be solved in a day, but you knew your future was bright with Eddie by your side.

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson imagine #stranger things x reader #stranger things imagine #rita writes

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cookies-over-yonder · 6 months

Text

"... In that moment, you, and Taylor, and Nick all realize that there is no fixing this. That this is as good as it's going to get. That you are all stuck with each other in the forms that you are now. You see daddy magic—that same daddy magic that exited Ron and Terry's body, emanate from their bodies like a fine mist, coalesce into the air, and then zip into the jar and fill it up a little bit more because that's what your relationship is."

The Close Family and Closure: An Analysis and Breakdown of Taylor's Issues in Hell or High Father

...and the way he addresses and, in Taylor fashion, downplays the problem, and denies its lack of solution.

(I have transcribed the majority of this scene, and below the cut is my line-by-line breakdown and analysis, as well as some other tid-bits.)

hello! ever since i got into dndads, taylor has been my favourite. i found his extreme escapism and dumb confidence fascinating, and as you may know, i love finding scenarios for him to break. it's, like, at least half of my fics at this point.

this episode is my favourite episode, it broke me, and it pieced me back together but Wrong in all the right ways.

this analysis is focusing on the taylor of it all. the motivation behind his words and the changes in his cadence and the denial that still, despite everything, refuses to fade.

i've never written an analysis post structured like this, so do let me know if you like it. i just... i really love taylor.

okay, let's go!

1. "Well...''

Nicky: … I didn't see a lot of Taylor's growing up and that was—that was fi—like we're cool now right, Taylor? Taylor: Fuck yeah dawg— Nicky: See?

to start off, taylor's instinctive answer is to agree with nicky. because well, yeah, they're chill now, that's true, so of course the first thing he does is agree. and i gotta say that i was expecting taylor to leave it at that, because he's not one to dig deeper when he doesn't need to, and even when he does.

Taylor: Well…

taylor says this immediately after his first answer and oh ny god i got SO excited. but this ain't about me. anyway. taylor finally admitting that they're actually not 100% cool is such a big fucking step argh i am so proud of him forever and also so sad for him forever...

Nicky: What? Look, I'm back now, and I'm super tight, and we hang out, and we can do samurai shit together, and we're fuckin'—we're tight as fuck.

this part makes me so sad because nicky is so ignorant to how his absence has affected taylor despite his frustrations at glenn for not being there. and also, this sort of reasoning would have worked on convincing taylor back in early season two. in fact, it did!

[Season 2 Episode 10: Dad Me To Hell]

taylor is completely satisfied with this reason because it feeds into his main character syndrome. his dad left to protect him. what better reason is there? and now he's back and there and able to do cool shit with him, so everything is perfect, right?

but the next thing taylor says is so fucking heartbreaking:

Taylor: If I'm gonna be honest, Dad, I've kinda been hoping and keeping an eye out for time travel magic so that we could go back in time, and you could be there for me.

the way he trails off as he says it, and he loses his confidence in his words... it shows an unfamiliar shyness. we've never seen taylor be this vulnerable before. and to think that he'd been holding out hope for time travel magic to fix his childhood? that perfectly aligns with the idea that taylor is so stuck in his anime escapist fantasy that he can't accept what's real. and magic is real, so therefore he must be able to fix his past, right? it's not impossible for there to be time travel (see. end of season 1 + see. attack on titanic.) but taylor doesn't realize that this is something that can't be fixed so easily, even if that magic were available. he doesn't believe that this can't be fixed. more on this later.

Nicky: [grunts and falls] Uh… um… I didn't know you felt that way. Taylor: Yeah, you know, it's just, when I was practicing my jutsus I could have used some pointers. Nicky: Yeah, but like— Taylor: As a result, I've developed a number of very bad habits that I'm told are very hard to break. And, you know, just watching YouTube videos is not the same as having a dad who can fight.

in the past, taylor has used anime to cope with his absent father, and he relied on the fictional characters to bring him the same comfort a father might bring (this was mentioned by freddie in one of the teen talks and while i've been relistening i've yet to find it. do forgive me as i am merely mortal) while this isn't directly referring to that, i still feel it's worth mentioning, as taylor is confronting his own unhealthy coping mechanism and acknowledging that no, youtube videos aren't a replacement for a dad. he couldn't fill the absence of a father with anything else in his life no matter how hard he tried.

also, taylor is smart. he knows that he has unhealthy coping mechanisms or "bad habits" that he can't break and he knows that they're caused by nicky's absence. i just wonder how long he's been stewing over that, you know?

as shown earlier, when taylor first met nicky and found out why he wasn't there, he accepted it immediately, knowing it was the coolest reason for a father to be absent and only fueled his protagonism.

but now, taylor's confronting his own issues surrounding nicky, and explicitly addressing them to nicky.

*wipes a tear*

i'm so proud of him.

Nicky: Wha—I mean, if it's training you want, we can train you, and like, you see your grandpa there— Taylor: [sighs] It's too late. I needed to start when I was three to five years old like true ninja warriors.

there is something so cutting about the way taylor says it's too late. he's talking about training to be a ninja warrior on the surface, yes, but that's not it.

it's too late. it's too late for nicky to witness his upbringing. it's too late for taylor to grow up with a loving father figure. it's too late.

and taylor knows that, and he's saying it, but he's still masking it with it being about training to become a ninja when in reality it's so much more.

this is just one example of the way he downplays the issue. he zeroes in on just one aspect of his life that nicky wasn't a part of, and speaks as if it's the main issue, when really it's only the tip of the iceberg, so to speak.

Nicky: Oh, well, I mean— Taylor: So I'm already trying to play catch-up a little bit, but you know, I guess it's water under the bridge. But you know, if there is time travel magic, then you know, maybe, or if you find it, you could maybe… pick me up on the way back… to the past, and you know maybe we could do childhood all over again.

taylor is playing catch-up with training, but he's also playing catch-up with having a father in his life.

and again, he downplays it, says it's water under the bridge, when it's so very clear how deeply this has been affecting him his entire life.

and to top it all off, he brings up time travel again. and the way he says this is so un-taylorlike it's jarring. the uncertainty of the maybes, the trailing off, the voice so quiet you almost can't hear it...

he thinks there's still a chance to redo it and fix things, but i feel that deep down he knows it's impossible, that it doesn't work like that, and yet he's still grasping at straws to try and make things better.

it's... it's really sad. i feel really sad for him.

and the way he says he wants to redo childhood. as opposed to only talking about training, here he actually says he wants to do childhood all over again, and it's so, so quiet. and taylor is never shy. it's so clear how badly he's hurting over this.

god. okay.

2. "I didn't even know where you were."

Glenn: So we're cool. Nicky: So, we're cool. Glenn: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nicky: We're just three cool guys. Taylor: Well…

i love how taylor isn't backing down on the fact that nicky fucked him up. like the gates are open and they can't close back up that easily. he's not accepting them just being three cool guys.

Taylor: Well, I'm just saying—you know, I could have, y'know—not to put too fine a point on it, but Dad, I would have appreciated if, you know… I didn't even know where you were. I 23&me-d my ass, and they sent me a picture of fire, and the cops showed up! There was a white van parked outside of our house for three years!

again, i really notice the change in the way taylor speaks, he's more unsure, quieter, and uses more filler words (such as "y'know"), and it feels as if he feels bad about making nicky confront his faults as a father but he's pushing through it anyway, because he has to.

and i absolutely love the throwback to episode ONE with the 23&me test! like this had been brewing from the start! i just think it's fantastic for it all to build up to this. like yeah. taylor didn't know WHO nicky was or WHERE nicky was and trying to figure it out only led to more danger for him.

Nicky: [gets on one knee and puts his hand on Taylor's shoulder] I guess I never got to properly apologize to you, did I?

Taylor: Well, an apology won't really turn back time, and I don't know how I feel—I would rather have the time travel magic.

this is so cutting. like, yeah, an apology won't cut it, and taylor immediately circles back to time travel magic, as if it could fix what's broken when it really, really can't.

i also find the trend of time when it comes to the close boys to be very fascinating. glenn got locked up in time prison, nicky's childhood was split into two timelines, and taylor thinks time travel can fix his broken relationship with his father?

god damn.

Nicky: Well, I didn't even get to explain—I was in Hell. I was worried that these fuckers [pointing at the other kiddads]— Taylor: Yeah, those fuckers. Nicky: —would have chased after me if I'd gotten out of hell. Taylor: So you're telling me that these fuckers kept you away from me all these years? Nicky: Yeah, you know what? It was these motherfuckers! They are the reason I didn't get to spend time with you because they betrayed me! Taylor: That makes sense; I just saw the memory! Yeah, yeah!

thinking about how taylor immediately agrees with nicky in blaming the others for his absence, because, well, yeah, shit's complicated and they are definitely part of the reason, but the fact that taylor is so on board of whole heartedly blaming them after chewing into his dad about not being there is just so sad. like yeah, of course he doesn't want to be upset at nicky. and it hurts so much that he is.

god.

oh my god.

okay, now, i didn't transcribe the entirety of taylor's memory, i actually summarized it and quoted some key aspects of it, so here:

Taylor's first belt ceremony. He's performing, and he finishes, and he bows, and he looks up. His mom is there. He's sniffling a bit and Cass asks him if he's okay and comments on how he moved all the way up to green belt, and he says he knows. He looks over to the kid who was supposed to get green belt but didn't because of him. The kid is whining, and then his dad comes in and gives him a big hug and—

"It's okay son, I saw how hard you worked, and in my eyes, you're a black belt. Come on, let's get ice cream."

The kid says thanks and they hug and then they leave and Taylor watches them leaving through the window and sees the child and father and mother smiling together. Taylor looks down at and then throws away his green belt.

"I think I'm done with karate."

Taylor gets kicked out.

that line that the father said to his child really hit me, because taylor never heard nicky say that to him. ever. and that was all that he wanted, really. like, "i saw how hard you worked," as in, i was there, watching you, practicing with you, supporting you, i saw you, i see you, i'm here, i'm here with you. and "in my eyes, you're a black belt," in my eyes, you've worked so hard, in my eyes, you deserve more than what you got, in my eyes, you're strong, in my eyes, you're capable.

things nicky never saw, and things nicky never told him.

and then, well, taylor quits.

a memory defining taylor's relationship with nicky. a memory where he wasn't there. a memory where he didn't see taylor's growth. a memory where taylor gave up on an ambition. a memory of absence.

anyways.

Nicky: I'm really sorry— Taylor: I'm kind of sensing a pattern here to be honest. Nicky: Yeah, I'm thinking that maybe the things that your granddad did, I do now. I'm thinking maybe I fucked up in the exact same way… Taylor: [lays a hand on Nicky] I think you fucked up in the same way too. Nicky: Okay. Well that's good. That's good for us.

god. oh my god. the fuckign pattern. i'm so sorry this part makes me lose my coherency all i can think of is how sad it makes me idk idk guys im sorry. you get it. taylor saying yeah you fucked up in the same way and nicky learning that and accepting it. oh my fucking god. like. i dont know theres something about the acceptance of it that really gets me. at the start of the conversation nicky denied it, and here he is, after seeing a memory of taylor doing something he wasn't there for, and now he's like yeah, yeah. i did fuck up royally.

3. "...there is no fixing this."

Glenn: What if we started over? What if we tried to kinda give it a little bit of a reset, and try and make some new memories together, as this sort of team of three? What do you think about that? Is it stupid? I dunno.

Nicky: What kinda memories are you talking about?

Glenn: Well I was thinking we all go to Disneyland, the happiest place on earth, and start everything off on the right foot! It's been so long since I've been to Disneyland, and, I dunno, let me show you all the secrets. Let me show you all the hidden Mickeys. I never got to show Taylor how to get over nine-hundred-thousand points on the Buzz Lightyear ride. And you! Nick, I never showed you the secret entrance into Club 33 that only I know about, and it requires you to go through the sewers a little bit.

I mean, what do you say? Maybe we can do something about this whole fucked up Close family. Maybe we could bring it on back a little bit. What do you guys think?

Nicky: Yeah, sure, yeah I mean, I like Disneyland as much as the next guy. What do you think Taylor?

Taylor: What's Disneyland? I don't understand, what's Disneyland?

now listen, i know that taylor not knowing what disneyland is was just because of the whole doodlerized world thing, but i feel like it also really highlights the disconnect here. like, glenn wasn't around much in nick's life but they knew each other and yes glenn went to disneyland without nick a lot and yes nick liked universal better and if i got into their relationship it would take far too long and i don't feel particularly equipped to tackle that which is why i'm focusing on taylor, but i think that taylor asking what disneyland is highlights the disconnect between him and nicky. nicky and glenn are talking about something that taylor is completely lost on, and to me it really shows the disconnect between all of them. first off, nicky likes universal studios better than disney, second of all, taylor doesn't even know what disneyland is. they grew up in different realms, and they grew up around different people, and nicky was never there, which means there's so much taylor knows that nicky doesn't, and so much nicky knows that taylor doesn't and so much of that knowledge and those experiences can never or will never be shared.

Nicky: Oh yeah, good point, I guess it's on a previously Doodlerized world now with a bunch of really fucked up shit in it.

Glenn: I'm just saying that like—give me a chance. Give me a chance to try and make up for all the—well—you know what? No, no, no, no, no, I can't make up for any of that stuff.

it's true. this solution is like putting icing on top of an overdone cupcake. temporarily sweet but it's still bitter and burnt. (i'm sorry if that doesn't make sense, i don't bake.) but like when you burn something you can't just. un-burn it. sure you can put icing and sprinkles and all the fun stuff and maybe you can wash out the taste but that doesn't change the state of what's underneath.

that's their relationship to me.

Anthony: As you're saying this, without even wanting it to, tears are rolling down your cheeks, and in that moment, you, and Taylor, and Nick all realize that there is no fixing this. That this is as good as it's going to get. That you are all stuck with each other in the forms that you are now. You see daddy magic—that same daddy magic that exited Ron and Terry's body, emanate from their bodies like a fine mist, coalesce into the air, and then zip into the jar and fill it up a little bit more because that's what your relationship is.

ah yes, finally, we reach the end.

this is what their relationship is. it's comprised of missing connections and missed experiences and misplaced memories and absences and longing and searching and finding one another only for it to be too late. it is comprised of absence as opposed to love or hate or anything in between. the nothingness that is absence is their relationship

how depressing.

if i'm honest, i think nicky still has a chance. obviously he can't fix anything with taylor, but i really do hope that he tries to be proactive in taking part in taylor's life from here on out, that is, if taylor even survives this next episode, oooh scary.... hahaha anyways.

i hope everyone enjoyed this essay! i started writing it the day the episode came out but schoolwork kinda took over me.

i wanted to get it out before this episode's teen talk so that's why i finished it tonight, but i may reblog with more thoughts, who knows! we'll see! :3c

i do also encourage you guys to check out my art for this episode specifically inspired by that last anthony quote there.

and of course my thoughts are not the objective truth, i am a mere university student, ignoring my school essays to write one for tumblr <3

bye-bye! <3 :3c

#dungeons and daddies #dndads #dndaddies #hell and high father #dndads analysis #analysis #cookies analyses #cookies rambles <3 #taylor swift dndads #glenn close #nicky foster #nick close #nicholas foster #cookies writes and cookies wrongs

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salemoleander · 5 months

Note

I think what you osserved about Cleo and Lizzie is a result of many factors.

Gender is of course one and a major one at that but it cannot be the only one as both Pearl and Gem have much more fandom characterization. Pearls characterisation especially can be attribuited almost entirely to Double Life.

There is also the factor there are a lot less females then males in the mcyt scene and that has always been a problem. But this means that there will always be way more discussion over man because there are so much more.

We should also consider that Lizzie did have a lot of characterisation back in the Empires s1 days that has been swept under the rug as she became inactive for long periods of time, she had a characterisation but this characterisation didn't even apply to the life series because she was never in it like the others, she missed 3rd life, Double life and Limited life which definitely didn't do her any favours. Mumbos characterization on the other hand still existed because he was much more active and when he was in hiatus his fellow Hermits kept reminding us about him... But Lizzie kinda dips for a while and then comes back and is never really mentioned.

Cleo always had the problem of being simplified as either chaotic arsonist, doting mother figure or talented artigian with dark humor... It's been since the 2020 that I have seen people discussing about her characterisation being basically cut down to one of these 3 personality instead of actually giving her actual personality. This was because newbies at characterization back in season 6 usually put either her or Stress as the nurturing mom friend in fanfiction who then other newbies took as inspiration and it kinda stuck around in a loop.

In a way one would need to analyze this problem at the olden days of minecraft content but then we would be here for days.

Putting most of my response under a cut because it got LONG.

To start, I will point out that "this is the result of many factors" and "in a way you'd need to analyze the origins of this, but we don't have time for that" are extremely common & toothless reasons to derail talking about misogyny (or any other -ism).

I do not think you are intentionally replicating that, but anytime an immediate response is "well it's not really ____-ism, and it's so complicated we could never hope to unpack it," that maybe isn't a useful addition to the discussion.

"[Gender] cannot be the only [factor] as both Pearl and Gem have much more fandom characterization"

I agree that gender is not the only factor, but I think going "well SOME women aren't as affected by misogyny so clearly it can't just be misogyny" is inaccurate. Also, if you look at Pearl and Gem's characterization - Gem is pigeonholed to a very particular type of cutesy fighting-princess role, akin to many YA protagonists of late.

Pearl does have more complex characterization from specifically Double Life, but the majority of analysis & attention only started going to Pearl after she won. As DL was airing, much more attention was paid to Desert Duo Redux and Team Rancher and Impdubs etc. I also think the fandom has taken to holding up Pearl as a token and going 'but look, we can write women! Look how many emotions she has. She's sad and likes murder and dogs."

I agree, it has been a problem forever (I've been watching MCYT since 2012. I watched Cleo & then False join HC. Believe Me, I Know.) But you'll notice my critique wasn't [All Life Series Dudes] are talked about more than [The Much Smaller Number of Life Series Women]. My critique in my post was 'if Lizzie's death happened to a man I would see more posts about that other hypothetical person" - comparing 1 person to 1 person.

We should also consider that Lizzie did have a lot of characterisation back in the Empires s1 days that has been swept under the rug as she became inactive for long periods of time, she had a characterisation but this characterisation didn't even apply to the life series because she was never in it like the others, she missed 3rd life, Double life and Limited life which definitely didn't do her any favours. Mumbos characterization on the other hand still existed because he was much more active and when he was in hiatus his fellow Hermits kept reminding us about him… But Lizzie kinda dips for a while and then comes back and is never really mentioned.

So this paragraph is definitely where you lost me. Your point seems to be 'Lizzie had characterization in S1 of Empires, and we're forced to borrow it because she's so inactive since then, there's nothing to pull from'. Allow me to share a screenshot of her series playlists here.

Let's leave aside the question of why people would pull from Empires S1 characterization when Last Life happened in the middle of it, and would evidently be a more logical place to pull from for Life Series characterization.

She had a whole Afterlife series, and she wasn't inactive after that! She had only 6 fewer episodes in S2 of Empires than in S1. It is patently ridiculous to claim that Lizzie is just so inactive and absent her Empires S1 characterization is necessary to fall back on, when Mumbo has better characterization despite vanishing for an entire calendar year to go biking. That is sexism.

Cleo always had the problem of being simplified as either chaotic arsonist, doting mother figure or talented artigian with dark humor… It's been since the 2020 that I have seen people discussing about her characterisation being basically cut down to one of these 3 personality instead of actually giving her actual personality. This was because newbies at characterization back in season 6 usually put either her or Stress as the nurturing mom friend in fanfiction who then other newbies took as inspiration and it kinda stuck around in a loop.

I'm glad you agree it's a problem! I can definitely see how that problem originated, but I've seen new fandom members for the Life Series - who don't watch HC or read HC fic- duplicate the same problems. I think at some point it's less a fandom-specific issue than a replication of the social division of women into Virgin, Whore, Bitch, or Mother categories, with no ability to imagine women complexly outside of those boxes or continuums.

This fandom seems to think moving the women in and out of the 'Bitch' box is the same as complex characterization*, and we've all just kind of gone 'okay' because the other option is nothing about any women at all. But we can and must do better, because I have to believe we're capable of writing and paying fandom attention to women as people.

*This is where DL Pearl generally falls to me, and why I am dubious of claims that she's well characterized. I think much of the fandom equates cruelty or sadness with good writing/interesting characters. But she's still fundamentally defined by the questions "How nice or mean are you? Are you in a relationship or alone?"

#salem tag #fandom criticism #life series #slsmp #secret life #lizzie #cleo #salem meta #I was trying to stay open minded by you absolutely lost me at the lizzie is inactive so we have to make her a sister bit

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ellilyre · 1 month

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I finished ToA not long ago and I wanted to write down some thoughts/scenes that stick with me

(in chronological (ish) order, watch out for spoilers)

Theres an italian girl at camp ! It means Nico gets to practice and speak italian ! (which probably haven't happened in about 70 years)

Will introducing Nico as "my boyfriend". I already knew they would be canon, but reading that line felt weird /pos

Apollo sees Solangelo and think of himself and Hyacinth

That night when Kayla and Austin disappeared and Apollo left to look for them, it probably was the first night Will ever spent alone in his cabin

Apollo's insane body dysmorphia. He's a god, he can always take the physical form he is the most comfortable and confident in... Until now. He is stuck in a body that isn't his, he feels ashamed, when he sees certain traits in others he find them charming or pretty, but when it's on him then it's disgusting. He complain that everything is this body's fault (ex. he wouldn't have been touched by the Eurynomos if it wasn't for his chub.)(I could go on for hours)

Lityerses ! I love that guy. Idk why i love him that much. He is my best guy.

Apollo's reaction to Commodus' name. His flashback of him. So painful he was physically sick.

Apollo talking Helios out of killing them, because he just want to be free, not to hurt them.

APOLLO ATTEMPT TO KHS TO STOP THEM ?? IM A SUCKER FOR SOME GOOD PAINFUL SELF SACRIFICE.

Jason. I'm not talking about Jason. I can't speak about Jason.

Frank and Apollo ! They are so fond of each other !!!

Apollo heard all of Frank's prayers when he was unclaimed and wished he could've adopted him.

And Frank respecting Apollo as a god although he is *vaguely gesture at Apollo/Lester*

Reyna saying aloud that she doesn't want nor needs romance. It's so rare to see aromantic representation and Rick did it so well.

Literally Apollo singing his way out of situations.

FRANK'S SELF SACRIFICE!!! (He already had one of my favorite character development before that)

APOLLO KILLING COMMODUS ??? why do never talk about that it's one of the best deaths I've ever seen that was BADASS AND FULL OF EMOTIONS.

Apollo slowly dying out of poison and the Dodona Arrow doing everything it can to keep him conscious.

I hope Dakota didn't get killed off just to give Lavinia the role of Centurion. I love my boy Dakota, and his death felt kind of meaningless, except for her rank up :/ also i feel like it doesn't suit Lavinia. Some ppl are strong and good and trustable but just not made to order others. (ill prop make a full post about that)

Dionysos confirmed to be an annoying little brother!

Nico. How does Rick manage to always give him more issues. Leave the kid alone.

When Will glows, Apollo is genuinely impressed and tells him how proud he is.

Nico destroying Nero's door with his giant zombie bull. That was cool.

When Apollo gets stabbed in Nero's tower and think it's the end, he prays "Zeus, Artemis, Leto, anyone"

And in general the few parts he talks about Leto, he's such a momma's boy and I love it.

When Apollo left for Delphi... I was fully expecting Meg to go with him. I was so worried that he went alone while already feeling that weakened from the previous events.

DODONA ARROW. FOREVER IN MY HEART.

Artemis is here when Apollo wakes up. She's by his side, she's the first person to tell him he succeeded, she hold him while he sobs...

The first thing he does is to greet his horses :) and then to see his friends.

When he gets back to the Dodona bush ! To tell them all how brave and heroic the Arrow have been !

I could spend hours talking about the character developments of Apollo, Meg and the Dodona Arrow (i love the arrow so much you have no idea) but its for another day

There's many things I didn't talk about, but the post is already long enough. I love those 5 books, and Apollo is an amazing narrator.

I love the Arrow of Dodona with all my heart.

#when ill finish tsats ill maybe make the same kind of post #writing down all my most memorable thoughts #pjo #percy jackon and the olympians #heroes of olympus #hoo #nico di angelo #will solace #trials of apollo #apollo pjo #toa #meg mccaffrey #frank zhang

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vidavalor · 4 months

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Hello dear,

Sweets are on me this time. Ginger hot chocolate?

Very interested in your opinion about this: What exactly do you think Crowley suddenly realizes after his conversation with Nina? It seems impossible to me that he realizes that he is in love…

♥️♥️♥️

Hi @margotmignard-blog! Hope you're having a good day today. :) Ginger hot chocolate!!! Do you know that I've somehow never had one of those? You've inspired me to try it this week. Thanks for the ask.

Imho, Crowley doesn't realize he's in love with Aziraphale when Nina's peppering him with questions about his and Aziraphale's relationship-- he's known that forever. He realizes he might want to consider again whether or not he should tell Aziraphale that he's in love with him using the whole real 'love' word itself here. That was actually what I think he was considering doing here, if Aziraphale had said yes to getting a glass and having a little date with him:

If you look at the scene with Nina and Crowley, Crowley actually admits to loving Aziraphale in which of her questions he chooses to respond to and how he responds, all of which proves he already knows he is at that point. In only really addressing the "bit on the side" bit, Crowley says that Aziraphale is "far too pure of heart" to be anybody's bit on the side, which is defending Aziraphale's honor from the accusation of him being willing to have an affair with someone in a committed relationship (very gentlemanly of Crowley :)) but is also at the same time admitting that he loves his pure of heart angel Aziraphale by describing him this way.

The irony of the conversation is that here's Crowley, right-- sweet, romantic Crowley-- who has spent the past week trying get Nina and Maggie together and doling out free love advice to everyone from Muriel to Shax lol and he and Aziraphale have been in love for millennia and use every word under the sun to describe what they are-- except for any of the words that Nina has just said... all of which are typical words for romantic relationships lol. In 2.06, Crowley is hesitating to say "couple" and turns into Merriam-Webster to speak around it-- "a team; a group of the two of us". Language is everything in Crowley and Aziraphale's insular world and it's not like they don't know how they feel about one another. They both know they're in love with one another. They use words around it because they've always been only a matter of time away from potentially losing one another forever.

That's even worse after S1 than it was before because at least back then they knew that they had "about 6,000 years" until Armageddon but after S1, Armageddon: Round Two could show up anytime. It could be tomorrow, it could be next month, it could be ten years later. They don't know. Their best source of information is Shax, who doesn't know that much and whom Crowley wisely doesn't really trust. It is hard to build a future when you're waiting for the world to end, right? Aziraphale is shown to be so on edge over it that his 1827 trauma has been triggered and he thinks every time he sees Crowley could be the last time he ever sees him-- but he's still terrified of just asking Crowley to stay because he's afraid to lose him if they were to get caught or when this all ends, which could be any day. So they're stuck running in neutral a little while trying to move forward together.

They're doing their bests by one another. Aziraphale's apology dance for his half of their argument in 2.01 is our car/our bookshop. It's to try to suggest that if they really want a life together, they both have to stop making unilateral decisions and make decisions together. During the week, to help Gabriel and Maggie, they both get pushed out onto Whickber Street a bit more and their relationship is reflected back to them by the shopkeepers. The Crowley and Nina "bit on the side" conversation, imo, causes Crowley to think about Aziraphale's our car/our bookshop moves during the week-- the way Aziraphale's really been trying hard to have it be their life and how he seems a little more ready for it than he has been in the past-- and it gives Crowley pause. Part of the humor of this moment is that Crowley can talk about love all day long when it's in reference to other people-- "just gotta get Nina to do the love thing with Maggie", asking Muriel if she's interested in learning more about "humans falling in love", etc.-- and enjoys doing so in front of Aziraphale as like a way of kind of skirting around the edges of the rules of their language and their relationship but get him considering again just saying "I love you" and this is about as far as he can get it out of his mouth lol:

He repeats "love" to himself a bit after Nina says "love lives" because he's struck by how easy it was for her to say it. Here he and Aziraphale are, in love for thousands of years, running around trying to matchmake the humans, and they've never said this. Crowley and Aziraphale are Earth's longest-running love affair. They are ridiculously old lol and so is their love but the coffee shop human in her late '30s has more experience with saying "I love you" than these two semi-immortal, supernatural beings who have been mad for one another since before the literal beginning of time do lol.

Cupid over here has never confessed he's in love before and Nina's words, plus the events of the week of S2-- namely, Aziraphale's actions during them-- lead him to think maybe he could and should make that fantasy into a reality. He's spent the week doling out solid love advice and matchmaking everyone else and now Nina is making him realize that he needed some himself as well.

Other people's love lives always seem more straightforward than our own is what Nina says and she's (rightly) shading Crowley a little bit for messing about in her and Maggie's love lives but she's also just expressing a bit of disappointment, in the sense that she really likes Crowley and Aziraphale's relationship. She wants what they have, which is why she was asking a million questions of Crowley. Ironically, Crowley and Aziraphale come up with plans to try to get Maggie and Nina together but what really does it is Nina just seeing them together and being like they are fucking adorable-- that's what I want. Both Crowley and Aziraphale are a little successful but fail at it a bit-- the vavoom is a partial success and so is the dance-- but it's really just *them* that helps Nina to see that it's Maggie that she wants.

Nina knows she's a Crowley and she's charmed by Crowley's faux-long-suffering thing with Aziraphale, how he follows him around and dotes on him, flirts with him, calls him "angel" and their sweet banter and how completely besotted they are with one another. Crowley's a snarky, jaded bastard like how Nina herself can be-- he radiates 'have been hurt, will bite, tread carefully'-- but he's also just as soft as Nina also really is underneath and she can tell that. She can see how he trusts Aziraphale enough that he's able to be unguarded with him, which is something Nina doesn't have with Lindsay but thinks she could have with Maggie. Nina can see the peace in it for Crowley that he himself expressed to Aziraphale earlier in S2 and she wants that for herself so she's asking Crowley a million questions to figure out how to emulate it. What are Crowley and Aziraphale? Nina needs to know because she thinks Maggie could be her Aziraphale and she feels a bit lost and needs a path. What she finds out is that Crowley doesn't have words she can understand for it.

It's not that he doesn't have words at all. He and Aziraphale have words-- have all the words but for the traditional ones. They love words. They mess around with language constantly and have for thousands of years, speaking a language that only they really speak. What is missing, though, are the words that they're afraid to say. What they said to each other at The Ritz at the end of S1 ("little bit of a good person"/"bastard worth knowing") was "I love you" in a roundabout way. Crowley has obliquely referred to himself and Aziraphale as humans in love but in an indirect way. Aziraphale has come just as close, maybe even closer-- he covertly referred to him and Crowley together as lovely in 1.01. But we know they haven't ever just said I'm in love with you or I love you because Crowley nearly hyperventilates just trying to say "couple" in 2.06 and admits that they've spent their existence pretending that they aren't one. Maybe a little less so "the last few years", as he says, but if Crowley can't say "couple", neither of them have ever called it "love" aloud directly before. That is what I think Crowley is thinking about when he repeats "love" to himself at the end of that conversation with Nina.

He thinks about how when he looked over at Aziraphale just a couple of days ago when he was doing that whole queer 'humans in love' dark joke about the police force that, even though Crowley was speaking to Muriel, was meant just for Aziraphale, that Aziraphale looked very into hearing Crowley refer-- even a little obliquely-- to their relationship in a way that aligned it with love.

That and Aziraphale's our car/our bookshop and everything the past week makes Crowley think maybe he should say the love thing and it's ridiculous in a way and he knows it, right? It's not like it's going to be breaking news to Aziraphale. They have been in love for thousands of years lol. They know it's love. They're long past any notion of wondering if it really is love in a way like the humans feel, if they're capable of it, all of that. All of that is bullshit anyway-- they've known all along, whether or not they were ready at different times to admit it to themselves. But saying it, when language is everything in their relationship, is still a huge deal and it's become even more of a thing since they've gone so long without doing so.

He and Aziraphale are both spooked a little by Gabriel showing up naked and memory-wiped-- it feels foreboding. If Gabriel can fall, the end of days seem to be circling closer again, so they're both going a little faster out of anxiety a bit so Crowley apparently decides he's going to tell Aziraphale right away and then has to think of how to do it. The next time we see Crowley-- minutes after the conversation with Nina-- he seems to have come up with a plan. He does always like a good plan. He'd probably rather do it in the bookshop but it takes a bit of the romance out of it to have to send Gabriel with a hot chocolate to his room for a bit for it lol and Crowley's thought of a better plan anyway-- Marguerite's.

They probably really do owe Justine the purchase of an expensive bottle of 1938 wine in exchange for her putting up with Aziraphale's French earlier lol but, more importantly, just look at the place, yeah? It's all romantic and lovely-- the ivy and the lights and the roses. It's French in the sense of their everything-French-is-romantic thing. It's a gorgeous little date spot and Crowley whistles Aziraphale over and tries for cool and does he want a glass? and Aziraphale, you absolute fool lol. You went for this place, closed, and The Metatron but you should have gone for it open, right here, and said yes to a glass and let Crowley tell you he's in love with you... The irony, of course, is that Aziraphale is working on his own romantic gesture in this moment and just doesn't want Crowley to know about it yet. The ball is really for Crowley-- the whole thing is to dance with Crowley. It's to take our car/our bookshop into we're having a ball.

Odds are solid that this Aziraphale above here was going to ask Crowley after the ball to stay and to stop leaving at night before everything went to hell and he went missing for the entire night and then the epic disaster that was the next morning happened but Crowley knows none of that back in the scene at Marguerite's and Aziraphale doesn't share it because he's planning for it to be later so the conversation at the restaurant goes quite differently.

Aziraphale not wanting to sit and have a glass of wine with Crowley leaves him disappointed. He makes such a pretty picture, though, and he looks upset, so Aziraphale does sit to talk with him. He tries to get Crowley to wait for him inside the bookshop and the "you like waiting inside" is both flirty and ridiculously married. It's a continuation of the bookshop-is-Aziraphale sexual innuendo but it's also like "sweetheart, why don't you go take a nap?" in tone, which makes the idea that Crowley is trying to confess love here all the darkly funnier as here's Aziraphale with a line that implies Crowley is just frequently in the bookshop when Aziraphale is out doing errands, etc., and they're all but living with one another now. They're married but forgot to say "I love you."

Crowley winds up telling Aziraphale that he was up all night with anxiety over Gabriel and that becomes the conversation topic, with Crowley still thinking about how maybe the timing isn't right for this after all-- maybe it's already too late-- because they're going to be distracted by Gabriel and Heaven and Hell and Armageddon and there might not be any 'after' after all of that. As they're talking, Crowley's dialogue (the way he talks about anxiety over Gabriel and then steers it towards the "smitten" flirting) indicates he might be thinking about the afternoon he wanted instead that maybe isn't really possible in the moment: Aziraphale sitting there, not having to look over his shoulder, having a glass of wine in the romantic restaurant with him, talking and flirting a bit and Crowley thinks that he could have gotten up the nerve to say it, if that had happened. You know he was rehearsing it in his head a little until he spotted Aziraphale and called him over. Instead, it lives underneath the flirtation when Aziraphale suggests he just talk to Gabriel and Crowley uses their love of wordplay and their language to set up the conversation so that Aziraphale will wind up saying "smitten" back to him.

'Smite' is in the same realm as 'wily' and 'thwart' in their language-- a word that has a dramatic, dark, religious meaning but also another, equal meaning related to love and/or sex. (Crowley, who totally wrote Aziraphale's entry in the guide to angels thing that Furfur had, wrote that Aziraphale was a known "demon-smiter", showing that the use of that word for them predates this scene in S2.) "To smite" is one of the rare verbs in English that has two, different past tenses, depending on which meaning of the word a person is using. Crowley flirts with Aziraphale by pretending that he can't remember the correct past tense of 'smite'-- but which one is correct depends entirely on the intended meaning.

"If Gabriel smites you, you've been... smited? smote?" Crowley starts.

'Smited' isn't a word at all and indicates that Crowley is flirting and does genuinely know the answer to the question. 'Smote' is the past tense of 'smite'-- if the intended meaning is in reference to being attacked with the righteous fury of an angel. Aziraphale teases Crowley in return by saying that the past tense of Gabriel smiting someone would be that his target is now "smitten, I believe"-- meaning, now a bit in love. This is both a play on the fact that Gabriel did try to smite both Crowley and Aziraphale in S1 but now it seems to have boomeranged back because, since the arrival of Jim, Gabriel is basically smitten with the two of them-- he's just a big marshmallow who hearts his new friends lol. It's also, though, really more of a joke on Crowley's unwillingness to try to talk with Gabriel, which Aziraphale has been trying to facilitate the whole week, because he knows that Crowley and Gabriel actually have a lot in common and could be good at helping one another through the similar traumas they've been through. He's joking that if Gabriel smites Crowley, as he tried to in S1, then the end result is that Crowley will wind up "smitten", not "smote", which is to gently tease Crowley about how Crowley is secretly big-hearted and warm and they both know he's going to wind up befriending Gabriel. It's also a joke on the fact that they both know that Crowley finds Gabriel attractive, which is part of the reason why Crowley takes the bottle of wine with him from the table when he goes to talk to Gabriel. Alcohol is sex in Ineffable Husbands Speak so if Aziraphale was going to leave Crowley to drink alone but now joke about how hot Crowley thinks Gabriel is while encouraging him to go to talk to him, then Crowley's taking the wine to Gabriel out of flirty spite lol. (And will drink it himself because he really just only has eyes for Aziraphale, as they both know.)

The end result of the wordplay set up, though, is one Aziraphale sees coming a mile away and indulges. He could have said "smote" but he knew Crowley was angling to hear "smitten", which is a word they've used to talk around how they feel about each other by using it in its Biblical euphemistic way while knowing they mean it in the "strongly attracted" definition. It's still not saying love, per se, and it's not the moment Crowley wanted but it was a sweet one anyway because Aziraphale's tone and expression indicated not just the teasing him over Gabriel but the fact that he is smitten with Crowley himself. It was meant to be Crowley telling Aziraphale that he's in love with him and it wound up being Aziraphale reminding Crowley of his feelings for him in their language.

In S3, though, you must allow him to tell you how ardently he admires and loves you, Aziraphale... (just with the second Pride & Prejudice proposal ending, please)...

#ineffable husbands #good omens #aziracrow #good omens meta #good omens 2 #crowley #aziraphale #good omens theory #crowley x aziraphale

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someforzari · 4 months

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Helping Hand

Virgin!Soobin x fem!reader

Genre: smut, fluff towards the end.

Warnings: hand job, begging, soft dom reader, riding, oral (m receiving), boob play, aftercare, consent being asked (that's sexy), unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it), pet names (sweetheart, good boy etc.), kinda exhibitionism (yeonjun is on call with soobin but soobin is muted, its only mentioned in one scene), praise.

12:24 pm

Soobin loved you. But being a timid and nervous boy, he never confessed his love for you. That meant being your friend and everything but secretly hoping that you would magically notice his feelings for you and tell him you feel the same. (Me too soobin)

Soobin had never slept with anyone and never really cared for it, he felt like it was overrated and probably didn't feel that good anyway but even he had needs. Muting himself on call to Yeonjun to rub one off because the thought of you crept into his mind whilst discussing the college group assignment wasnt the best idea, but who can blame him when you're so pretty. Pumping his hand up and down desperately on his cock to feel some kind of relief just wasn't working anymore. Soobin knew that it wouldn't work forever but he had hoped it would work this time seeing as he needed to hurry and answer Yeonjun. Feeling sexually frustrated, he didn't even hear the door to his apartment open as you strode in wanting to surprise Soobin with a fresh cake from his favourite bakery. Walking to his room, assuming he was in there because of loud shuffling and moans. Wait...

Realising you were listening to something you shouldn't be hearing, you quickly tried to walk away but your feet were stuck as you listened carefully.

"Ah~ please... _____!" He groaned sharply.

You froze as your face reddened and you felt a pool form at your pants. He was jerking off to you...

You should be disgusted. How dare he be such a pervert and jerk off to the thought of you. But you weren't disgusted, no, you were horny. So, you opened the door without warning, causing Soobin to yelp and hurry to cover himself.

"_____! What- What are you doing here?" He then noticed your stare, "I- I swear it's not what it looks like."

"Soobin..." You cooed "Let me help you"

You knelt over his lap and gently moved his hands away, Soobin felt like if he so much as blinked, you would've faded away like a hallucination. He was big. You gulped anxiously wondering if you could even take him. First, you had to make sure he wanted this too.

"Soobin, do you want to do this?" You asked looking at him.

He began nodding his head like a mad man. But it wasn't enough for you.

"Words, baby"

His breath hitched at the nickname and he gulped to extinguish his dry throat.

"Yes, but," You raised an eyebrow attentively "uhm, I've never, you- you know."

"Thats okay, pretty boy, ill teach you~"

He would've responded but your hand grabbed his crying dick from resting on his stomach to between your palms. Licking a long stripe up his length and placing his pink tip on your tongue made him writhe above you and moan your name out like a hymm.

Slowly, sliding down his cock, you could feel him poking the back of your throat. Realising that you won't be able to fit him all today, you took him out and started pumping him too fast for his brain to comprehend, cumming on your face in fat loads. After the initial shock of the orgasm, he looked at you scooping his cum with your fingers and eating it. Soobin felt like he might cum again.

"What do you want to do now, sweetheart?" You said sitting on his lap and combing his sweaty hair.

"I- Fuck me please"

You felt like teasing him right now, " What was that honey?"

"_____, please fuck me"

"Have you been a good boy?" You pouted at him.

"Yes. Yes I've been your good boy, please."

"My good boy" You mumbled quietly.

He felt like he might cry until you lifted yourself off his lap and removed your clothes, completely nude in front of him. Soobin doesn't know where to look, but he decides to follow you and take his clothes off too. God, he was so hot, you wondered why you hadn't made a move sooner. After he relaxed in his chair, you sat on his lap again and positioned your entrance above his tip and glided to collect some slick. After a few seconds, you slowly went lower and lower until he was bottomed out in you.

Soobin felt like he could die between your legs and he'd die happily. Maybe sex wasn't so overrated after all. Soon, he started whining for you to "please move" and that "he's been such a good boy". Of course, you obliged and rocked yourself back and forth on his dick preparing yourself to snap in half. You stopped briefly to breathe and then you bounced up and down on his cock. He was in your guts and you swear you could feel him in your throat. Soobin was no better, moaning and swearing, keeping his arms on the armrest, not knowing where to put them. Without saying a word, you grabbed his hand and put it on your boobs.

"So soft~" He mumbled between moans.

Squishing and pulling on the nipple, he built up enough courage to latch his mouth onto one, the sensation causing you to cum around him. The feeling of you squeezing the life out of his cock made him need to cum desperately.

"W-where do I-" He hiccuped.

"Inside"

That was all he needed to release thick coats of cum into you. The orgasm died down soon and you both sat in silence, panting. You had your face in his neck and he was hugging your waist close to his body.

"I love you, _____," He said hoping for your confession back.

Silence, he was worried he had freaked you out but judging from the way you were holding him, you couldn't have been. He checks your face, and you've fallen asleep. He chuckles and carries you to the bathroom where he puts you into the tub and fills it with warm water. It was alright, he didn't need a response. Not right now anyway.

A/N: first smut writing, how'd I do? As always lmk if I should make a part 2 where reader confesses her love and if it should be smut or fluff or both. Thank you for the support on my Niki work. 🤍🤍

#txt #txt post #soobin #soobin smut #soobin x reader #soobin fluff

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