#i've never spent so much time on a background that would basically be covered up before 😅

[winterbanner]

Lost and Found (Bucky x Reader)

Summary: It's been five months since you've last seen Bucky. No contact, not even a damn phone call. Yet, there he is standing on your doorstep in the middle of the night, covered in bruises you can't help but want to heal.

Tags: ANGST, Hurt/Comfort, Insecure!Bucky, Steve Slander (oop), Fluff

Word Count: 2167

Warnings: Allusions to Hydra's Torture, Self Deprecating Thoughts

A/N: It's been like 9 months since I've last posted a fic.... yikes... so um sorry I guess? (also pls help me stop writing angst, I don't know what to do with myself)

Doll, 

I’m sorry. I just can’t do this anymore. It’s not your fault. Please, don’t try to call.

-Bucky

You were angry, that much was clear. It was written blatantly on your face as you answered the door, clad in nothing but your pajamas and a scowl.

It was 3 AM, an ungodly hour for someone such as yourself, who had to be up for surgery in just a few hours. Bucky had begged Sam to find someone else; anyone else who could give them the basic medical attention they needed. Sam's petulant insistence, however, left Bucky with no other choice than to show up on your doorstep shrouded in nothing but flesh wounds and guilt.

Sam, always the chipper one, began the conversation with the efforts of lessening the inevitable awkwardness. You had always liked him, more than Bucky would have liked you to. He would be lying if he said he wasn't jealous of you and him, the light air of humor and amusement that encompassed the two of you in conversation. Then there he was, the cloud of gray, sulking in the corner and sucking the energy from the room.

"Hey there good-lookin. Long time no see."

A slight smile tugged at the corner of your lips, breaking the scowl that had previously coated your face.

"Sam, you better have a good reason for knocking on my door this early in the damn morning." You quipped, your eyes sparkling with amusement. as you absentmindedly fiddled with your hair.

"Look um, Bucky and I got beat up pretty bad out there and we figured since you were right here...."

Sam's voice trailed off as they both witnessed the smile immediately dissipate from your expression. Your eyes quickly scanned their bloodied forms, the concern evident in the panicked way you ushered them inside.

To be completely honest Bucky was shocked at your lack of resistance, he wouldn't have been surprised if you had just slammed the door in his face. I mean, isn’t that what most people would do if their ex, who broke their heart without an ounce of explanation, showed up in the middle of the night unannounced? 

He should've known better, however, because it takes no more than five minute with you for one to realize that you're not like most people. You're a doctor, someone who has dedicated their entire life to helping others, to alleviating their pain and sewing them up good as new. At least, that's what you did for him. Bucky couldn't begin to count the nights he spent wrapped in your arms, your sweet voice and soothing touch warding off the nightmarish scenes that lived in his head.

Bucky should’ve known better, because you are never one to turn away someone in pain. No matter how hopeless it is and no matter how much you might get hurt in the process. 

"Have a seat in the living room and feel free to grab whatever you'd like from the kitchen." Your head gestured them to head towards the couch, while your hands kept themselves busy gathering whatever medical supplies you had on hand.

The men abided by your instructions and allowed the plush cushion of your couch to alleviate their aching bodies. To Bucky, your apartment was exactly as he left it. His record player still sat atop the side table, his collection of vinyls still filled away in the shelves below. A picture of the both of you remained displayed on the mantle, your smiling faces beaming as the Hudson River flowed in the background.

It was as if he was at a museum, a tourist witnessing some sort of haunting recreation of a scene long gone to the clutches of time. There was nothing missing, so much so that if Bucky wasn't careful he could convince himself that the last five months never happened; that he had never left and that he had never broke your heart so haphazardly.

Sam gave him a knowing look as he reached over to land a friendly pat on his shoulder. He had known exactly what he was doing bringing Bucky here. He could’ve easily flagged down some other source of medical care, but instead he insisted on coming to your place; on formulating some scheme to get you both in the same room together again. It was obvious, so obvious in fact that Bucky was almost embarrassed by how easily he succumbed to Sam’s insistence. Maybe there was a part of him that wanted Sam's plan to work, a realization that only caused the guilt in his stomach to churn even more profusely.

It wasn’t long before you came into the living room, first aid kit in hand with that same look of concern lining your delicate features.

"I don't have very much on hand, but I think this should do."

You stood before them, your eyes scanning over their injured bodies with expertise, your mind taking mental notes on their individual wounds. It was apparent that Bucky was worse off, an outcome that was usual when it came to missions. He had never learned to take your advice, to be more careful; to value his own life in the midst of duty.

Sam stood up abruptly, a slight wince grazing his expression.

"Look, I didn't spend all those years pointing guns in the sand to not know how to treat basic battle wounds. It's this grump that you really need to worry about." He stated, as he quickly gathered up some supplies and headed towards the spare bathroom.

He closed the door before either of you could even begin a rebuttal.

"Come on." You whispered, your eyes gleaming with impatience as you led Bucky through the bedroom you once shared and into the ensuite.

He felt like a child again, that scrappy little kid who couldn't stop fighting. His little hands throwing punches like he was a middle-aged boxer when in reality he was just a little boy who hated watching bullies hurt his best friend. It was because of this that the school nurse always hated him. Every week he'd show up at her door, an office slip in his hand, only to be met with harsh comments and the taunting roll of her eyes. The only reason she even bothered was because her paycheck depended on ensuring he was patched up. If not, she'd have left him out in the hall, the red blood from his nose staining his best shirt.

It was that same feeling of helplessness that Bucky felt now, as you led him into the bathroom and instructed him to sit upon the toilet seat, his abdomen searing with pain. He wasn't wanted there, you didn't want him there, and the only reason you agreed to help was because Sam asked you to.

He was kidding himself if he thought any different, if he considered that maybe you actually wanted to help him; that you actually still cared. Bucky felt like a helpless little kid again, but instead of the old ugly school nurse he was faced instead with the one person he loved more than anything else, and that made it a thousand times more excruciating.

"Take your shirt off." You instructed coldly, an attempt to erase the intimacy that once existed between the two of you. It felt wrong to speak that way to someone you loved; the person you loved the most. In that moment, however, your words were a manifestation of the hurt welling up inside of you, its pain only exasperated by his presence.

He abided by your instructions, his face grimacing in pain as he slipped the fabric over his head, causing his sweaty hair to stick up in disarray.

This was probably the hundredth time Bucky had found himself sat perched upon your toilet seat, his wounded chest exposed to the healing power of your fingertips. This was once routine, you tending to his wounds after a mission, your familiar voice and soothing touch melting the violent events of days past into distant memories.

This was the sort of interaction he had vowed to give up, on the night he fled your apartment with nothing but a half-assed apology note in his wake. It was something he should've done years ago, before you became attached; before he had grown too comfortable in your company.

Yet, here you were, standing before him, your former act of stoicism faltering in the face of your signature tenderness. Your cold words were replaced instead with your fingertips absentmindedly grazing ever-so-gently over his shoulder's mangled flesh; with your soft hand cupping his jaw as you inspected the cut on his brow.

What was once lost was now found, but it wasn't Bucky's to keep any more.

It was all too much. The way you gently apologized every time he winced, your familiar hands healing the wounds that littered his body. He couldn't give in, he couldn't allow himself that sort of peace because you weren't his anymore. He had to leave he couldn't stay; he had to be alone because-

“Bucky, I-I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

His spiraling train of thought suddenly came to a halt, as he felt your hand intertwine itself with his own, your expression laced with pure sadness and concern.

“Y-you didn’t Doll. I’m fine.” 

“Buck you’re- you're crying.” 

It wasn’t until then that Bucky noticed the silent tears that had begun to slip down his cheeks. 

God, did he miss you.

God, why was he so weak?

Your free hand silently reached to grab a tissue from the counter.

“Sorry”,  he mumbled as he wiped his face.

"Don't apologize. It's just- did something happen since I've last seen you? Are you hurt? Are you feeling okay?

God, why did you still care about him? 

Bucky's tears began to fall more profusely, his tissue soiled with salty residue and pathetic sadness. Any resemblance of anger you once held had completely dissipated because this wasn't just an ex-boyfriend, this was Bucky Barnes, and hell would freeze over before you idly watched him experience any more pain.

“I’m sorry”, he croaked.

"Sorry for what?"

"I'm sorry that you ever had to meet me, that I left. I'm just sorry, so fucking sorry."

Your hand reached up to cup his cheek. “I’m not.” You whispered, as you used your thumb to delicately wipe his tears “Buck, why did you leave? What happened?” 

He stayed silent for a moment, his eyes searching for answers in the bathroom tile below. His eyes were stinging, his mind racing, and all he wanted was to say something, anything that would make sense, anything. 

“Steve left.” Bucky blurted, the hurt emanating in his tone. "He left because the Bucky he loved is dead; the boy he grew up with died in that ravine a goddamn century ago. They changed me- they broke me."

"Steve left because who I am now, the Bucky you know, isn't worth staying for."

Your head began to shake, absolute heartbreak written on your face as you squeezed his hand even tighter. "That's not true. Please don't ever think that-"

"And if I'm not good enough for Captain fucking America, then how am I good enough for you?", Bucky interrupted. "I left because you could do so much better than me; you deserve so much better. You deserve someone who doesn't keep you up all night screaming; someone who isn't so incredibly fucked up-"

“Bucky stop, please just stop.” You let go of his hand and moved both of your palms up the gently cup the sides of his face, forcing his eyes to make contact with your own.

"Steve left because he selfishly ran away with a woman he barely knew, not because of you; never because of you. Now, I may not have known the Bucky that he grew up with, but I'd choose who you are now over him any day. Buck, I love you. I love you."

"You don't get to decide who is good for me. That is my decision to make and I made that decision years ago, when we first met."

You reached out and pulled him into a hug, your arms encompassing his larger frame as he fully let himself melt into your embrace.

"You are good enough."

"Bucky you are good enough."

"Please don't leave again, just stay; stay with me."

Bucky pulled away slightly, his flesh hand reaching up to cup your jaw and guide your lips to meet his own.

"Okay.' He whispered, a flash of hope gleaming in the blue of his eyes, as he stood up to properly hold you against him.

He believed you, and for once in his life Bucky Barnes was actually going to take your advice. He was going to hold on to what was once lost; he was going to keep what he had found.

"Now, who is gonna be the one to tell Sam that his plan actually worked?"

#bucky barnes #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x y/n #bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes x you

[i-choose-the-danger]

Lesson Learned

Whoa, new fic alert! I'm surprised at how quickly I wrote this one. Don't expect that speed to become a habit though. 😂 This is a Hogwarts Legacy fic, so obviously if you play the game or plan to and wish to avoid spoilers, you should probably save this fic for later.

Summary: Ominis has offered to help the new fifth-year student catch up on learning charms. Sebastian gets volunteered as tribute to be the student's practice dummy, and also learns never to go behind his best friend's back again. Fic below the cut.

**A little background info for those of you who don't know anything about the characters but still want to read it and not feel completely lost:

Ominis Gaunt (yes of THAT Gaunt family) and Sebastian Sallow are 5th-year Slytherin boys and they've been besties since they met at school

Anne Sallow, mentioned a few times, is Sebastian's twin sister who became too ill to go to school any longer and now stays home

Ominis is blind, born that way (not something I made up, it's canon)

The other student is the "main character" aka the player in the game/story, and they've started Hogwarts as a 5th-year so they have a LOT to catch up on

For the purposes of this fic, the character is a female Slytherin and I've named her Kathryn

the "Undercroft", where this fic takes place, is basically a hidden room in the castle that only Ominis's family knows about... Ominis only shared this secret with Sebastian who then shared it with the main character when he shouldn't have

I think that's all the background info you need to know if you don't know the game's storyline. Time-wise, this fic takes places somewhere in the middle of the school year, after Sebastian told the other student about the Undercroft and I'd say not long before they start looking for the Scriptorium for those of you who know the storyline.

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Kathryn anxiously paced in a circle across the stone floor in a corner of the Undercroft. Her nerves getting the better of her, she fidgeted with the spell book in her hands and began to rotate it cover over cover as she walked. There was a lot of work she needed to do if she was to get her magical knowledge up to snuff with the other fifth-years before the O.W.L. exams began at the end of next term. The one subject she seemed to excel at was potions, which Ominis struggled with quite a bit. In exchange for tutoring him, he had offered to go over charms he'd been taught in his earlier years. Kathryn was about to give up on waiting when she noticed the red glow pulsing and growing brighter near the entrance gate.

"Oh good, you made it!" Kathryn exhaled. She smiled as the gate lifted and Ominis strutted underneath it as he extinguished his wand. She took a seat on the floor, folding her legs underneath herself and placing the spell book beside her. "I was starting to think that you'd forgotten." Her fingers buried themselves in her long dark hair and twisted around the strands.

"I promised you that I would come. You know I'd never break my word. I had to make sure there were no prying eyes around." Ominis furrowed his brow when he realized her voice came from below him. "Are you sitting on the floor?"

"It's usually how I study."

"Well, that will not do. You deserve better than cold stone. Just a moment." Ominis didn't need his wand to navigate the Undercroft. Having spent so much time down there over the past four years, the area was completely committed to memory. He disappeared around a corner and came back just as quickly pulling what looked like two large green velvet couch cushions behind him.

"Where in the world...?"

"I deserve a medal for being able to memorize and navigate Sallow's 'organized chaos', as he calls it, down here." He handed a cushion to Kathryn and dropped the other behind himself before sitting down onto it. "Much better. Did you have anything specific you wanted to go over today?"

"Madam Scribner helped me find a copy of Standard Book of Spells for first-years with braille and said I could keep it for the term as long as I bring it back in perfect condition." She placed the book on Ominis's knee and kept her hand on top of the cover until he took the book in his hands. As he started to flip through pages, she added, "I feel silly having to look through a first-year book and not knowing some basic spells and charms. I really do appreciate you offering to help."

"I don't mind. Sebastian brought you here to have a safe space to practice, so it only makes sense to utilize your time learning what you can."

"I still feel bad about that. If I'd known it was your family's private-"

"Nonsense," Ominis cut her off with a dismissive wave of his hand. "That fault lies with Sebastian, not you. I feel awful about snapping at you when I found out, so I suppose that makes us even."

"Fair enough. I got up to page thirty-two before morning classes started. I managed to spongify one of my books, which was fine until I realized I didn't know how to undo it and it bounced around every time I put it down." Kathryn huffed at herself, taking a seat on the cushion Ominis had given her.

"Ah, rookie mistake. Always learn a counter spell first." Ominis turned several pages in the spell book. "Twenty-nine, thirty, thirty-one, thirty-two..." He brushed his fingers across a line of bumps on the page and let out a quiet chuckle.

"What?" Kathryn asked.

"It's an... amusing spell," he told her. Ominis leaned his head from side to side in thought. "It's not one you see used very often. I don't think I've ever seen it used during classes."

"Well, now you've piqued my curiosity." Kathryn craned her neck to try to read the page Ominis had the book opened to in his lap. She lightly tapped a fist against his knee. "Come on. I want to cram the past four years of your knowledge into my brain before Christmas break. What is it?"

"It's called rictusempra." Ominis grimaced as a small wave of embarrassment came over him. "It's a tickling charm," he added, angling his face down towards the book in his lap.

"I beg your pardon? You're kidding." Kathryn scoffed and looked up at Ominis, whose cheeks were now dusted a shade of pink. "You're not kidding. Is it that bad? What happens if I use it?"

"It's what one would expect. It hits you here," Ominis mumbled, bracing an open palm over his stomach. He stretched his fingers out and wiggled them around. "It feels warm and kind of fuzzy at first, but then it wriggles out and becomes increasingly unbearable. It tickles like mad and you have no way to block it because it feels like it comes from inside you, if that makes any sense. Ugh..." Ominis buried his face in his hand and could feel himself blush.

"You speak from experience. Sebastian used it on you, didn't he?"

"Oh goodness me, Sebastian knows better than to try something like that. He may be brash and completely reckless, but he's not suicidal." Ominis closed his eyes and laughed at a memory sparked from the conversation. He gazed in Kathryn's direction. "It was Anne, his twin sister. I can't remember why, but I was in a foul mood and they were having none of it. Sebastian tried to cheer me up and nothing helped. Then I heard her cast the spell and I reacted almost instantly." He shuddered and scratched around his torso as if he could still feel the effects of the spell. He felt a light squeeze at his ribs and jerked away from the touch with a gasp, swatting his hand out towards Kathryn. "Noooo no no. That's not wise."

"So you're already ticklish to begin with," Kathryn giggled. She thought for a moment and looked at the book that was still open to the spell page in Ominis's lap. "This doesn't say what happens if you cast the spell on someone who isn't ticklish though. Would it have the same effect on them or would it be useless?"

"You really do have a habit of making me think of things differently, don't you?" Ominis quirked an eyebrow while he thought over the question. "I actually don't know. And you're the first person I know to even ask. I suppose we'd have to find a willing practice dummy."

At that moment, they heard the gate open behind them and heavy footsteps echoing down the stairs through the chamber.

"Ahh, there you two are. I figured you had to be down here when I couldn't find you in the common room or Great Hall. I guess this means you're not mad at me anymore for letting Kathryn into the Undercroft?" Sebastian directed at his best friend.

"Of course not. I understand why you let her down here. Whyever would I still be upset?" Ominis's tone was less than sincere, but Sebastian didn't pick up on it. "You have excellent timing though, Sebastian. You're a perfect dummy," he added, smiling as he imagined the scowl Sebastian must be wearing.

"I am NOT dumb!" Sebastian put his books down on a nearby chair and crossed his arms over his chest.

"He means a practice dummy. No one is calling you dumb," Kathryn said, scolding Ominis by lightly backhanding his shoulder. "Ominis has been kind enough to spend time teaching me some charms and spells that you learned in previous years so I can catch up."

"Is that so? I can teach you spells that aren't in those books too. Just say the word." Sebastian felt a small pang of jealousy in that moment, even though he would never admit it. "So why do you need me to be your practice smarty?"

"Oh for Merlin's sake." Ominis groaned and rolled his eyes.

"This spell has to be used on a person and I didn't feel comfortable using it against Ominis. Besides, I wanted to test a theory." Kathryn stood and held out her wand towards Sebastian. "Odd question: are you ticklish?"

"What?!" Sebastian squeaked. He wrapped his arms tighter around himself and tried to remain calm as he took a few steps back. "I mean, of course not."

Sebastian glanced over at Ominis, who was wearing a smile that could only be described as pure evil. Ominis was fully aware of how sensitive Sebastian was, having heard him and his twin sister have countless tickle fights when they were younger.

"Oh, perfect! Let's see what happens then. Rictusempra!"

"No, wait!" Sebastian didn't have a chance to grab his wand and attempt to shield himself from the charm. A puff of silver glittery smoke shot out of the tip of Kathryn's wand and collided into Sebastian's torso. The boy gasped and instantly turned away from his friends as he doubled over, clawing at his vest.

"Did... did I do it wrong?" Kathryn asked.

"Not at all," Ominis replied in her direction. He stood and dropped the textbook back onto the cushion. "I suspect he's being stubborn and trying to fight it. What is he doing now?"

"He's kind of hunched over and jumping around like he needs to find a bathroom. I wish you could see him. It's utterly ridiculous." Kathryn clamped a hand over her mouth to stifle her own laugh as Sebastian squealed.

"Rictusempra is meant to weaken your opponent. The spell starts to dissipate once its victim is too weak to function." Ominis heard Sebastian starting to hiss through his teeth to suppress his laughter. "Sebastian, you're only making it worse for yourself. And you're not being very helpful to Kathryn either. Bad form," he scolded. He cleared his throat to hide a deep chuckle when Sebastian squealed again. "She needs to see how these spells work to understand them."

As if on cue, Sebastian's legs gave out and he fell to his knees. He couldn't fight the wriggling sensations against his ribs and stomach any longer and giggles rumbled in his chest before flowing freely from his lips.

"Okay-hay-hay-hee-hee! She see-hee-hees!" Sebastian's dark hair was a complete frumpled mop over his eyes. His shirt was untucked and his vest was twisted around his torso as he continued to claw and swat at the tickling sensations pulsing through his body. "Please! I ca-ha-ha-ha-han't!" He was laughing so hard that his eyes were tearing.

"If you actually feel pity for him and want to stop the spell, there's another that would immobilize him. Simply aim your wand at him and say titillando," Ominis told Kathryn in a hushed tone.

"And that'll stop the spell?" Kathryn was skeptical knowing what the incantation translated to, but she knew Ominis wouldn't teach her a spell that would hurt someone. It seemed plausible to her that a counter-spell would have similar terminology.

"You have my word." It wasn't a lie... exactly. Ominis could never lie to her, but he was still quite the cunning Slytherin when the need called for it. He was also still annoyed at Sebastian for letting Kathryn into the Undercroft without his permission. There's that old saying about payback...

"Titillando!"

"Oh my God, NO!" Ghostly transparent purple-tinted hands appeared around Sebastian and started tickling any spot on him they could reach. He no longer had the strength to hold back his laughter and outright screeched before bursting into cackles and curling into a fetal position on his side as he repeatedly kicked at the air. "Help meeeee! I can't brea-hee-hee-heethe!"

"Ominis!" This time Kathryn backhanded his shoulder with a force that nearly knocked him off balance. "He's going to pass out."

"He'll be fine. The little prat had it coming. Just give it a minute." Ominis continued to listen to Sebastian's deep laughter and occasional squeal, closing his eyes and laughing himself as it reminded him of happier times they had together before Anne had gotten sick.

"I do not want to be sent to Azkaban for murder! Call them off!" Kathryn tried to sound stern, but she knew Ominis could sense the amusement in her voice.

"Very well. Spoil my fun then. Finite incantatem."

As Ominis spoke the spell and aimed his wand at Sebastian, the ghostly hands vanished. Sebastian spread out his limbs, collapsing face-down on the stone floor and taking in gulps of air.

"Sebastian?" Kathryn bit down on her thumb and felt incredibly guilty as Sebastian lifted his head and turned it to face her. "Are you... okay?"

"Don't. Touch. Me. You two... are in... SO... much trouble... when I can see straight," Sebastian mumbled in between fleeting breaths and residual giggles.

"Me?! I just did what Ominis told me!" Kathryn glared at the blond. "You said that would stop the spell!"

"Did it not? I was truthful," Ominis stated with a shtug. A red light pulsed from the tip of his wand as he held it out and slowly stepped over to where he could hear Sebastian still panting. Crouching beside his best friend, he kept his voice low. "I thought you knew me better, Sebastian. I never get mad at you. I get even." Ominis extended an arm and felt around until his hand touched Sebastian's hair. He gave it a few semi-sympathetic pats before standing back up. "Although, I do confess that I may have gone a tad bit overboard."

"If you could see how destroyed he looks... Overboard is an understatement," Kathryn sighed. She offered her hands to Sebastian and helped him to stand.

"Overboard?! I almost died. I felt my soul leaving my body." Sebastian draped an arm around Kathryn's shoulders and leaned against her as his other hand massaged into his aching ribs. "I'll let you off the hook this time because you're learning." He glared at Ominis through the dark curls that were still matted against his forehead from sweat. "YOU on the other hand, you'd better sleep with one-" he caught himself in the middle of his own sentence as he realized what he was saying.

"Oh I dare you to finish that," Ominis hissed. He chuckled darkly. "Anne isn't the only one who knows your weak points. Perhaps I should teach Kathryn the body-bind spell next and you can show her how well it works."

"Perhaps you two can keep me out of your nonsense and just help me with my homework so I don't fail and watch you go on to sixth year without me," Kathryn interjected.

"Quite right. I apologize. We have work to do," Ominis admitted.

"I need a shower... and a nap now." Sebastian let go of Kathryn and stood up straight, wincing at the soreness in his torso from laughing so hard. "This is far from over though. Watch yourself," he added to Ominis as he passed by to head back to their dormitory.

"He's not serious, is he? I'm going to feel horrible if I started something between you two." Kathryn folded her arms over her chest.

"Not to worry. Our friendship is complicated, but solid." Ominis' jaw clenched as he thought about his siblings. "As I hate my actual family, I assume this is how real brothers would get along. He'll forget about it by tomorrow."

"I'll take your word for it. Let's go over a few more spells before dinner, hmm?" Kathryn sat back down and grabbed the spell book, flipping through pages. "Preferably some I can use in dueling. I have a feeling Sebastian won't go easy on me if Professor Hecat pairs us up again."

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The end! Hopefully y'all liked it. I have other Hogwarts Legacy drabbles knocking around in my head too. I love these two Slytherin boys so much. 😭 As always, likes and comments and reblogs are appreciated and encouraged. Thank you! 💗💗

#Ominis Gaunt #Sebastian Sallow #original character #Hogwarts Legacy #Slytherin #rictusempra #fanfic #tickle fic #ticklish!Sebastian #I feel like there needs to be a sequel #but I have other ideas for those boys #I'm becoming obsessed with them

[lotusflowersimagines]

Hello! Can I ask for some Ace x Levi fluff oneshot?

This one took a few days to conseptualize and write since i'm not the best at interpreting drdt characters, but I think i've got it down! Fluff isn't my strongsuit but this came out really cute in the end! Hope it was worth the wait

NOTES: Pre-KG/Non-Despair AU, pre-established relationship, FLUFF!!, mild swearing(Ace being Ace), oh my god they were roomates..

~ Ace M. x Levi F. (Oneshot) ; Movie Night

Word Count: 1315

"FUCKFUCKFUCK-!!" Ace screeched, the poor jockey was called out to practice for an upcoming horse race, but before his manager could get anything set up it started pouring rain. He was sent back to his dorm because they still had time to reschedule the session at a later date. Unfortunately Ace was absolutely NOT ready for this to happen and had to run back on his own, leaving him soaking wet and his uniform ruined- he'd definetly have to do the laundry when he gets back.

After a bit more running and being irrationally angry at the world for attacking him like this, Ace swung open the door to the building, taking the elevator up he returned to his and Levi's shared dorm. Levi was sitting on the couch, reading a magezine but ironically having the weather channel playing on the tv as background noise. He looked over as the door clicked open, Ace looking something akin to a grumpy, wet cat. The designer would huff out a laugh had he not been conserned over the well being of the other, it was raining pretty hard outside.

"Stay on the mat, Ace. I'll get you a towel.." Levi stood up and set aside what he was reasding, rushing into their bathroom to emerge with two neatly folded towels in his arms.

"You really did get caught up in that storm, huh?" Levi asked him, handing Ace one towel for himself and using the other to dry the shorter ones hair.

"Fucking-- Obviously!" Ace's eyes screwed shut as his hair was messily dried, he was clearly pissed and Levi knew him well enough to understand why. Instead opting to stay silent and allow Ace to cool off, removing the towel. "S-Sorry. This is just so damn annoying.. It said CLEAR SKIES today, it wasn't even cloudy when I left!"

"I know, love. I know.. Perhaps you should consider taking a shower. You're far too soaked to simply dry off on your own, you might get sick from the cold."

"Psh? Sick? I'm almost never sick! I'll be fine if I just change out of these wet rags…" Ace tugs on his uniform to bring attention to it, realizing how gross he feels with it on.

"Ace.. I insist. It would benefit both of us if you did, I can assure you."

"What's that supposed to mean-?"

"Ah, forget it- I didn't mean to say it like that. I meant it would help you feel better if you took one."

Ace raised a questioning brow but decided to let it be for now, slipping out of his boots and leaving them on the doormat to clean later on. "I'll clean that up later, sorry for all.. of that." He half-mumbled.

"It's no problem, really. I'm just worried about you Ace.." Ace turned around, covering the small blush on his face as he made his way into the bathroom to take a shower. It was still weird that someone could- no, that Levi could care about him so much. Sometimes the redhead wonders when he'll tire his boyfriend out. The thought put him in a more solemn mood than he wanted to be in, but he tried to brush it off.. He'll overthink it later.

---

Levi sighed, running a hand through his hair. His boyfriend was going through a lot right now, he may be a little.. Ignorant to other's feelings at times, but this wasn't hard to pick up on. The only problem now is- "What can I do about it….?"

He spent the next 10 or so minutes pondering it, Ace, Ace, Ace… What does Ace like? Of course- Levi has the basics down, but he was thinking of more. He thinks Ace deserves a little more tonight; so he took out his phone and dialed up a number, clearing his throat as the person on the other end picked up quickly.

---

Around 20 or so minutes later, Ace was out of the shower and completely dried off. Most of the stress melted away from him and he was in a more casual set of clothes, it could even be considered pajamas.

Ace, walking out of the bedroom, realized that Levi was nowhere to be found. Well, that is until the front door swung open a little harder than the stylist seemed to want it to, grimacing slightly at the bang. He set down a paper bag on the coffee table in front of their couch and finally noticed the jockey looking at him with a confused and curious expression.

"Ah- you're already out-- Sorry I thought you would be in there for a little longer."

"Uhh Levi? It's been 30 minutes, i'm not tryna take 10 years in the shower and waste all our hot water."

"Y-Yeah well I was just.. Not ready- Nevermind, you're here now so I guess you should come sit."

"Well whats all this for-?" Ace walks over and peeks inside the bag. Levi sheepishly rubs the back of his neck.

"You weren't very pleased after you got home, even though you are much calmer now in comparison.. I thought it would be nice to treat the both of us to a movie night." He smiled.

Ace was a little taken back- Levi is usually good with helping him calm down or making him feel better but this is a little more than he had expected, especially considering it's so late. The jockey fiddled with his shirt collar, he's not usually.. flustered like this. Not outwardly.

Levi took off the coat he was wearing and went into the bedroom. "Why don't you pick out the movie for tonight? Grab whatever you want from the takeout I ordered.. I know you don't like meat so I tried to find something small that you might like."

"…Thanks, Lev. I uh- I- I mean it. I'll pay you back." Ace hid his face with his shirt, but he was clearly blushing.

"It's no problem, really. I did it for the both of us, because I love you."

"!!"

Levi turned around into the bedroom with a grin, probably went to get some pillows and blankets for the couch. Ace was a flustered grumbling mess at this point, muttering something under his breath as he looked to see what movies they had physical copies of.

"Levi would probably like something chill or whatever… Maybe a little old? He looks like he likes older movies." Ace mentally cursed himself for never really doing this sort of thing with Levi, the guy was too selfless to him sometimes.. Made it a little hard to know his tastes, especially he wasn't exactly easy to read either. (Not that Ace could pick up on that, really)

But Ace noticed a movie he knew nothing about, it looked.. Sort of old? Definetly foreign because of the style of animation. Quickly skimming the back he decided.. Yeah! This would definetly work. Plus, he'll get to watch a movie he's never seen before, it should work out great!

---

"Alright, we're all set up. What movie did you pick?" Levi was in a t-shirt and some sweatpants, he was holding one of those chinese takeout boxes with shrimp fried rice inside, a pair of chopsticks in his other hand.

Ace popped open the dvd player and got the disk out of it's case, putting it in and grabbing the remote. "Oh well- I found this movie i've never seen before n shit, 'Howl's Moving Castle'? I dunno it looked like something you'd-" As he turned around, he met Levi's gaze, his face was clearly lit up with excitement. A rare sight to see, even for Ace! Someone known to always be so calm practically had stars in his eyes.

"Ah! I love that movie! It's- It's really good. I think you'll really like it Ace!" The redhead sat down next to his boyfriend, still in awe at the other's pure joy.

The stylist scooted closer to him, as the movie started. Ace hesitantly wrapped an arm around the other's waist and pulled himself closer aswell. Maybe today was a good day afterall.

#drdt #ace markey #levi fontana #acevi

[rubird--playsotome]

This was my piece for @humanityobmz! This project was super fun for me and I’m super grateful to have had a chance to work with so many other talented creators on it! There’s many other amazing pieces in the zine so check it out!!

#obey me #humanityobmz #i've never spent so much time on a background that would basically be covered up before 😅 #digital painting takes so much attention to detail #but i think it turned out well! #obey me mammon #obey me levi #obey me asmo #obey me beel #obey me belphie #obey me satan #obey me lucifer #peep the subject of the painting #rubird

[mxrstar]

[ID: the images are two collages/concept art pieces.

the first one has a composite picture of a solar eclipse in the background. you can see the darkened sun, and then the light coming out behind it. the sun is framed by a winding black column that moves snake-like from one side of the frame to the other. the top of the page is painted in blue, grey and black, and the strokes are meant to represent the sea. a stylised lighthouse comes out from the sea upside-down and its light physically floods one side of the painting with a blue-grey ray. the bottom of the piece is also painted in blue, grey and black, but the strokes look more like clouds. in the middle of the sun, a piece of paper says: "callum". above of the collage, on the white corners of the paper, it says: "I think the lighthouse misses you, too", and below the collage: "there are plenty of ghosts who love you".

the second collage has a series of old television on the top half. the televisions are carved out so that through them you can see a hot air balloon shaped like an eye, a blue spiral, the background of a sketched prison, and the name "tim". the bottom part, on a purple-blue-brown background, has a series of darkened pieces of paper glued onto it and is covered in white dots that look like spilt ink. one of them say "shall I be gone for long?" and then right below it "shall I be gone?" "for long", one other goes: "remembrance will be always" but the "always" is almost unreadable and covered by paint. there is a big one that is messily covered in "brother friend son" over and over again. one other says: "death is only by a horizon". at the centre of the piece, there is a written line that says: "you know why you did what you did. you know you would it again." /end ID] 

@titanfalling2 wrote a long, beautiful fic whose main character is a kid I've never thought twice about in canon and now I would die for him. they also wrote an interlude about Tim that is set in the same AU, and I've been quite literally thinking about it non-stop for two days. so, this is what I've done about it. those words really do deserve the time spent making art off of them

under the cut, explanation for Artistic Choices:tm: and some close ups

Callum first:

i'm a big fan of the fact that the background is an actual sun eclipse cause yeah! that's exactly it! just, the idea of darkness literally getting in the way and obscuring a source of light. it's very much part of what callum's story line is about. that realisation that he has So Much potential because (1) he is a kid, and (2) he is a good, caring kid, and he deserves to be put in a situation where he can finally shine and be free

the semi-recognizable lighthouse is there to represent his grandma, sure, but it's also just. the idea of someone guiding you being inaccessible to you sometimes. of having to look up to see it, and figure out where it's pointing. because you aren't used to it, and because there are things that physically get in the way. it stands to reason that the lighthouse and the sea should fall, but they don't, because they exist in a careful balance that by the end isn't yet broken. they are capable of showing callum the light, eventually, because the light has always been there, yes, but also because callum is given enough tools to move freely through his own space

the quote pretty much exemplifies that concept, i think. i also do like the "there's plenty of ghosts who love you" cause the painting kinda looks haunted, but it's okay because there are ghosts who love you

Tim, including close-ups:

the tvs are a way of representing just the concept of Witnessing and they all show something horrific, in one way or another. there's the prison background (i think that's taken from one of piranesi's prisons illustrations- i say i think because i cut the picture from an old school book and lost the inscriptions but i am about 95% sure), then the spiral, which actually had the face of a man lost in it but I went over it with paint because the loss of identity made it more literally spiral to me. there's also the hot air balloon, which is just perfect, because it's basically a skull carried by an eye. talk about witnessing. and then simply "Tim", the signature

i chose "you know why you did what you did. you know why you would do it again" as a quote to put there cause the whole thing is about acceptance. so, it's a reclamation of the mess and the hurt, because you know you would it again. it's the focus through which i was trying to visually depict the fic. it is what it is and it is pretty shitty, but it's mine and i chose it cause it was worth it

this is pretty much a mess but i wanted to sort of just. represent the chaos of it, even in the finality? on a personal level for Tim, all of this means many things. and the white spilled ink is a way to. i don't know, signify that lack of agency in trying to make sense of what's been written, but also total control over the choices he did make (though that's more about the quote above i already talked about)

the "remembrance will be always" is surrounded by that Cloud, sort of, cause Sasha is a dark big spot in Tim's life. her death defined a lot of things and almost burned some bridges. it also has the most white on it cause like, it's one of those places he will want to come back to without ever achieving much because he simply does not remember her

the jon quote is kinder, i think. still complex, but kinder

then there's "brother friend son" which hurts still because of the history there, but it's open

the last "death is only a horizon" is clearer if darker cause it's- a choice but also a part of Tim that is partially defined by his powers

so yeah. that's most of it! i love doing this stuff! too tired to write a conclusion hope the explanation was nice to read <3 i love these fics and ren if you are reading this I'm bowing and throwing you flowers

#sometimes i talk #tma #tma fic #my collages #anyway read the fics #art tag

[snapedefender]

You obviously love Snape canonically in the book, but I've been wondering for a while, are there any things that you feel the author has failed in his characterization, or are there things you wish had been done differently? Because I like him how he is in the books, but some things don't sit well with me, or I prefer my personal headcanons. What are your thoughts?

one of the main things that where i think rowling failed with snape was with the presentation of his redemption arc. and i’m not necessarily sure that’s a failure of characterization or just plotting, but either way i think it’s a major contribution to why he’s viewed the way he is and why fandom has such a hard time with him. 

snape’s redemption arc isn’t actually even an arc that we see. i’ve talked about this before but in many ways, snape’s redemption is finished by the time we as readers even get confirmation that it existed. this is a problem for a couple of reasons, but the main one is that it’s difficult - especially for narratives built on a close third-person pov like hp - for readers to make that switch from villain to hero (or even anti-hero!) without some significant work and time put in. take zuko from atla - widely considered one of the best redemption arcs in children’s media - where we see every single step of his growth play out. and, of course, atla is not a limited pov like the series so that obviously changes how much we can view but the point still stands; by doing the sudden reveal, rowling rushes what should have been a spread-out process.

so when we get just like that background knowledge of snape’s sneaky redemption, it makes it feel less earned and it makes it more difficult for readers to parse especially since it comes in the midst of all these other heavy emotional scenes. i really love the prince’s tale bc i do think it tells us a lot about snape, but i think rowling did snape a disservice by basically making his redemption arc an exposition chapter... although, to be fair, considering how she laid out snape and harry’s relationship, i’m not sure how she could have fixed that.

i also think we really needed to see more of snape and lily in that chapter. i know most of it is them but considering that’s the ONLY knowledge we have of them as friends it makes it even more important to drive home there as much of their relationship as possible. and once again, this is kind of a plotting issue - rowling had snape give his memories in a way that’s more about pragmatism and explanation, so obviously snape was just going to choose memories that would tell harry what he needed to know and not like anything else that would just show his times with lily, right? but the problem becomes then that it makes it even more difficult for readers to get behind the idea that snape changed becase of lily because he have such a small glimpse of them together. if she wanted to make this a big, profound thing (which i think she does!) then those moments really had to have enough chemistry and charisma to really convince us that this was a lasting relationship for snape and for lily - and honestly i don’t think it manages that, esp since we have so few scenes of them together at hogwarts. look at the marauders - we have just as little information about them as friends in school but we see the relationship between sirius and remus and we can get a sense of their closeness because of the chemistry in that relationship. we really needed that for snape and lily’s interactions for it to carry that redemptive arc and it just... didn’t really happen. which is also why i think it’s easy for people to misinterpret their relationship in the way that they do.

i do fill in the blanks with snape a lot with my own headcanons and i do prefer those to anything rowling might try to put out (teetotaller!snape, for example, or queer!snape). but that’s less a dissatisfaction with what’s presented in the books and more just a way to fill in the gaps since we don’t know that much about his character.  i mean, obviously i wish he had been a little less mean to kids who didn’t really deserve it but in the narrative it’s really never clear how much of that is necessity for his cover and his own personal enjoyment - and i think that’s just part of the necessary risks and evils of close third-person, where it’s extremely difficult to parse motivations for anyone other than your pov character.

i guess one thing i never really got behind was snape’s way of speaking. i think he’s one of the funniest characters in the books (that snapback he makes to dumbledore after the big “you need to kill me” reveal always cracks me up) but a lot of his speech is almost antiquated in how flowery it is. i’ve reconciled that with myself as an adult reader by headcanoning that snape adopted that as a way out of the rough speech he might have had as a kid - tho tpt disproves that theory. as a kid i don’t think i really noticed as much but as an adult a lot of snape’s dialogue sounds... idk. weird. altho, tbf, a lot of hp is definitely clunkier when reading as an adult, esp as an adult who has spent a lot of time reading fiction for school and work. (that isn’t to say it’s bad writing! hp has some fucking stellar lines in it and great speeches and genuinely moving/funny bits that are really well-written.)

a lot of stuff fandom has found really ugly about snape (his pettiness, cruelty, emotionality esp when angry, and so on) are things that i actually find interesting and think make him a more realistic character. i don’t know that i find his characterization that suspect tbh - for me, what really frustrated me with snape in the books was the clumsy way he was often used plot-wise especially when it came to his reveal. i think rowling spent so long using him as a mystery plot-device (what is snape doing? is snape evil?) and shielding his motivations that when it came time to actually do the reveal it was just something that she couldn’t really execute with grace, which had the unfortunate side-effect of kind of undermining the way his narrative was received. 

#i was trying to think of a snape trait that i didn't really appreciate much in the books and really the only thing is the intensity of his b #which is - once again - difficult to parse how much of that is him and how much of that is his spysona #but tbf it has been a while since i've done a full read-through of the books so it's possible i've just tuned tuned out stuff that bothered #but for me a lot of failure with snape was in how his redemption arc was handled #like i absolutely believe snape's redemption was great and vital and knowing that it happened is amazing #but it could have been done in SUCH. a stronger way #which probably would have made it a less polarizing and derided narrative choice #severus snape #Anonymous

[madeofitzits]

In honor of the impending return of Brooklyn 99, here are 99 reasons that...

1. He was precocious enough to know, at 5 years old, that he wanted to change his name (x)

 2. He has a bunch of nicknames: Sandy Amberg, Young Sandwich, etc. but the most endearing one is 'Droidy', his family's name for him (x) 

3. He is still super close friends with people he's known since: Elementary School (Chelsea Peretti) (x)...

4. Junior High/High School (Kiv and Jorm) (x) 

5. … Summer Camp (Irene Neuwirth) (x)

7.  ...and Film School (Chester Tam) (x)

8. Before he met Joanna, he dated other famous ladies but - out of respect - he never discussed it/them (x) 

9. He loves turtles and tortoises. When he was a kid, he had a pet turtle that he named 'Squirt' because the first time he held it, it peed on him. His Mom, Margie, accidentally killed Squirt when Andy was at Summer camp... (x)

10. … Maybe this is why, when shooting 'Popstar', Andy fell hard for Maximus (Conner 4 Real's turtle). He says they "had a good thing going" and that he wanted to adopt him. In the end, he decided against it because there are a bunch of coyotes in his neighborhood and he was worried the little guy wouldn't be safe. (Popstar: DVD Commentary)

11. Speaking of his Mom, despite being a super private person, he appeared on 'Finding your Roots' so that he could help her track down her birth family (x)

12. When he succeeded he cried (although we never got to see it on camera) (x)

13. That's because, like all good boys, he loves his Mama which is why - as part of the same episode - he said "My mom is basically the kindest person I know… and many people would corroborate that" (x)

14. Andy's Sisters, Hannie (Johanna) and Darrow, used to make him wear diapers and put his hair in pigtails until he was 5 years old. He says he didn't mind because he just liked that they were paying attention to him (x)

15. That's why he sees his identity in comedy as being 'America's kid brother'. When he was young, he would annoy his sisters until they laughed and he claims to have been replicating that approach to entertainment ever since

16. Although a bunch of his characters have 'Daddy Issues', Andy definitely doesn't. He's super close with his Papa (Joe) and has said "he's a good man" and "the best Dad in the world" (x) 

17. Joe was Andy's youth soccer coach and in one scene in 'Hot Rod', Joe's favorite photograph can be seen in the background. It shows a very young Andy posing with a soccer ball, after "scoring the winning goal against Mersey" (x)

18. He's been a loyal Golden State Warriors fan since he was a little kid, living in Oakland (then Berkeley) and, in 2010, he correctly predicted that they would "win a Championship in my lifetime" (x) 

19. The proceeds from his Umami Burger ('The Samburger') went to a deafness early detection program in Berkeley. This cause is close to his heart because Margie uses hearing aids and used to work in the special needs program, teaching deaf kids (x)

20. He, Kiv, and Jorm have made multiple donations to their old school district, including $250 000 to its theater program (x)

21. On the subject of The Lonely Island; Andy always goes out of his way to make sure that everyone knows how much he owes to his buddies. For instance, he told Marc Maron, during his WTF appearance, that "I get a lot of credit for what Kiv and Jorm have done" (x)

22. He makes this face when he knows he’s said something naughty…

(Gif credit: @andrewsambags)

23. During his 'Wild Horses' appearance, he said that he can't watch scary movies because they freak him out too much. He told 'Complex' that he's still scared of 'The Shining' (x)...

24. … Similarly, when he was at UC Santa Cruz he worked at the Del Mar movie theater and he had a hard time coping with screenings of 'Species 2' (x)

25. He fell in love with Joanna, the moment he met her, when she greeted him by addressing him as 'Steve the C**t' (x)

 26. He listened to 'Ys', everyday for a year, before he and Joanna started dating (x)

27. He bought the original portrait that was used as the basis of the cover art for 'Ys' and gave it to Joanna as a Christmas present, so that she could hang it in her music room (x)

 28. He loves birds and goes hiking and birding with Joanna (x)

 29. Every new comment he makes about Joanna becomes an instant contender for 'most beautiful thing a person has ever said about their spouse' (x)

30. For example, he readily admits that Jake's iconic heart eyes are the result of him thinking about his amazing wife (x)

31. There are many stories about how incredibly romantic Andy and Joanna's wedding was and Jorm has said that it featured "the most magical vows I've ever heard" (x)

32. The Newsombergs now live in Charlie Chaplin's old house (x)

33. On the Emmys Red Carpet (2015), the year he hosted, they took a momentary break from posing for the world's press to whisper 'I love you' to each other (x)

34. At last year's Vanity Fair party, Andy carried Joanna's purse for her so she could grab a snack (x)

35. He was a semi-permanent fixture in the audience for her recent run of shows for the 'Strings/Keys Incident' tour, even officially confirming his status as the 'President of her Fan Club' (x)

36. He used his Golden Globes monologue to call out the government for framing and murdering the Black Panthers (x)

37. On the Carpet for the Guy's Choice Awards, he called the event "a ridiculous farce", adding that "men already have it so easy - it's insane that there's a show that celebrates them". That makes sense when you consider that he, Kiv and Jorm have made an entire career out of parodying toxic masculinity (x)

38. He once said that only "idiot-ass men" think that women aren't funny (x)

39. He’s been wearing glasses since 7th Grade and he has the most heartbreakingly cute habit of nudging them up his nose, (especially when he wears his Sol Moscot frames) (x)...

40. ... and of rubbing his eyes under them (x)

41. He barely ever wears glasses for roles but he also avoids contacts (because he doesn't like touching his eyeballs) which means he's almost always 'acting blind' (x)

42. He has worn his glasses in character a few times - as 'himself' ('Lady Dynamite'), as 'Paul' ('I Think You Should Leave') and during a very small number of SNL sketches (e.g. during his one appearance in a 'Gilly' with Kristen Wiig) (x) 

43. He can't tolerate glare and when that makes him squint it's a sight that's too cute for words (x)

44. He owns about six outfits and has been rotating them for well over a decade (x) 

45. He barely ever breaks during shooting/while performing, so when he does it's aggressively adorable. (x), (x)

46. He's a grown ass man who persuades people to come with him to the bathroom because if he goes by himself he'll get lonely (x)

47. He didn't announce he was leaving SNL, until after his last appearance, selflessly choosing not to detract from Kirsten Wiig's huge and emotional send-off (x) 

48. He undertook a quest to smell like Lorne Michaels (x) 

49. He's ageing like a fine wine (x)

50. To protect their daughter's privacy, Andy and Joanna never announced that they were expecting. They've never released their little girl's name or date of birth and most news outlets still report that they became parents in August 2017 (even though that's inaccurate) (x)

51. Although he's careful not to talk about his daughter often, sometimes he can't keep from gushing about her. For example, when asked about his first year of fatherhood he said: "It’s been the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Just like a beautiful, incredible dream. It has surpassed every expectation I ever had. It’s definitely been very blissful" (x)

52. After their daughter was born, Andy and Joanna spent the first 40 days at home with her (in a practice known as 'confinement'). He's described it as being "a really special time". (x) 

53. Andy is famously mild-mannered but, when asked about what triggers his 'Dad claws', he admitted that if anyone attempted to touch his daughter, without permission, he'd "probably sock them hard in the face"…

54. ...Characteristically, he went on to add that he hopes that never happens, since he hasn't been in a fight since 6th Grade (x)

55. Cyndi Lauper was his first celebrity crush and he plays her record ('She's so unusual') for his daughter all the time. (x)

56. His is the very definition of a precious laugh (x)...

57. It's made even more wonderful by the way it makes his voice go high-pitched (x)

58.  … and the way it causes his eyebrow to rise involuntarily  

59. It's impossible not to smile at his impression of his Mom (x)

60. And laugh at his impression of John Mulaney (x)

61. He was so convinced he wouldn't win the Golden Globe for Best Actor in a Comedy or Musical, that he didn't prepare a speech. Instead, as he explained to David Letterman, he "just went… and started drinking". The resulting list of improvised 'thank yous' was perfect in every way (x)

62. As producers, Andy, Kiv and Jorm have given life to some amazing projects ('Alone Together', 'Brigsby Bear', 'I Think You Should Leave')...

63. … and gone out of their way to support women in comedy ('Party Over Here', 'PEN15') (x)

64. As well as being a comedy legend, he's a super-talented dramatic actor, who gave the performance of a lifetime in 'Celeste and Jesse Forever' but, after the movie wrapped, and it was time to do press for it, he was straight back to goofing around (x) 

65. His lip bite should be illegal (x)

66. Even though he wears the same vanishingly small number of outfits, over and over, he has a vast collection of the most excellent socks (x)

67. He always gives 'editing notes' during his own interviews (x)

68. He has a super sweet and sincere way of thanking interviewers when they compliment him (x)

69. He adjusts his hoodie constantly (x)

70. The two most perfect Jake laughs in b99 are actually real Andy laughs 'https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=W38A_xuXaeg https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=sVm9nYrTWRQ

71. Virtually everyone who has ever worked with Andy has talked about what a wonderful person he is. This explains why so many of them have been involved with more than one of his projects (x)

72. It's not only his colleagues who talk about what a delight he is (x), (x)

73. This lovestruck fool wore his own wife's merch when he went out to dinner (x)

74. No one else uses the word 'dinky' quite like Andy (x). The same goes for 'snacky' (see point 70)

75. He does this with his tongue (x)

76. He still likes to play soccer but his eyesight is so bad that he has to keep his glasses on for it

77. When he lets his gorgeous floofy hair grow a little it sits perfectly over the arms of his glasses (x)

78. He gifted the world with Jakey's little curl (x)

79. At the James Franco Roast, he couldn't bring himself to be mean to anyone except himself (and Jeff Ross, a little!) (x)

80. In fact, he's always been willing to laugh at himself (x) and he still is (x)

81. He changes b99 scripts to make them more feminist (x)

82. Despite their humble insistence that they just benefited from 'good timing', the reality is that Andy, Kiv and Jorm (along with Chris Parnell) revolutionized digital media, when 'Lazy Sunday' popularized YouTube, increasing its traffic by 85% overnight (x)

83. He once attended the Vanity Fair party because his Mom told him to (x)

84. He has an amazing way of subtly but firmly shutting down inappropriate questions, like when this interviewer suggested that Holt being gay was something that could have been played for laughs https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=idQsYQfkR5o

85. He auditioned for SNL at the same time as Bill Hader. Hader thought he'd blown it because Andy had a bunch of props and Bill had none. In the meantime, Andy thought he'd blown it when he saw Hader and realized 'this guy doesn't need any props' (x) 

86. His bromance with Seth Meyers is one for the ages (x)

87. Every single second of this video is proof of why Andy, Kiv and Jorm deserve the world (x)

88. He once dragged Mulaney up on stage for SNL Goodnights, even though writers weren't allowed to join in (x)

89. He has a hilarious phobia of pooping anywhere except his own bathroom (x) 

90. His beautiful, beautiful, face: His smile (radiant), his eyes (caramel - hella disarming), his ears (adorably asymmetrical), his nose (perfect), His chin (the dimple… *swoon*), his jaw (could cut glass), The 'Sambeard' (another amazing layer of pretty) (x)

91. His body: His butt (x), his thighs, (x) his soft lil tummy (The ‘Sambelly’) (x), his hands. (x), his arms (x), his hips…

(Gif credit: @amystiago /@badpostandy on Twitter)

92. All signs point to the fact that, like Jake, Andy uses his glasses case as a wallet (x) 

93. Jake's "cool-cool-cool-cool-cool-cool" is an irl Andy-ism that the writers worked into b99 scripts. What's even better is that Joanna does it, too (x)

94. He has a really good arm and is low key competitive, which is super hot https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=e32K_nBDy3Q

95. He's one half of the cutest Red Carpet pose of all time (x)

96. He barely ever seems to get mad but if angry Jake is anything to go by, maybe he should... (x)

97. He's a huge nerd, who geeks out over GOT, LOTR, 'Star Wars', 'Alien(s)' and anything relating to time travel (x), (x)

98. He has a gorgeous speaking voice, especially when he’s tired or a little sick. (Bonus points for any time he uses the word ‘correct’. See point 30) (x) 

99. He’s still so committed to his b99 fans and fam, even after all this time and is as excited as the rest of us that...

#99 reasons to love #andy samberg #brooklyn nine nine #b99 #a masterpost for the best boy there is

[dungeondicedivaarchieve]

A few months ago I typed up some comments about the anime-only scene between Otogi and Honda on the blimp. Found here.

Well... now I'm here to talk about what happened before that scene. Because I read so much more into it.

Let's take a walk.

Please keep in mind that a great deal of this speculation comes from the belief that, despite Mr. Clown not being seen in the anime, he still exists and his relationship to his son is very similar. Also please keep in mind that this is all speculation from someone who has spent waaaayyyy too much time looking into everything Ryuji Otogi says/ does.

~~~

We join our heroes shortly after Yugi's Duel with Bakura. Ryou has fallen unconscious and the stab wound he sustained earlier has re-opened (unless you're watching the dub where blood doesn't exist.)

Otogi's first line comes after Shizuka has asked Kaiba to land the plane, and the camera cuts to her making a pose that demonstrates both uncertainty and discomfort. Kaiba stares at her and Honda and Otogi both get between them... to Honda's annoyance.

More on this in a second.

Kaiba ignores this and turns his attention back to Jonouchi and Yugi, telling them that it was Bakura's choice to Duel and that he will not be held responsible for the repercussions of another's mistake.

This causes Shizuka to shout (probably for the first time in her life.)

Otogi makes this face. Personally, I think it looks like a combination of surprise and concern. But why would he be concerned?

Because Shizuka is a lot younger, a lot smaller, and a lot less powerful (both physically and financially) than Seto Kaiba.

He is fearful of what Kaiba will do in retaliation, ans so.

He gets between Shizuka and Kaiba in hopes of transferring whatever Kaiba's about to do to him instead of her.

Because Ryuji Otogi is an abuse victim that knows what happens when you challenge someone bigger and more powerful than you. They put you back in your place.

Also Honda continues to not like this. Otogi is cutting him off each time he tries to speak, and while this could be seen as Otogi trying to one up Honda (and the dub absolutely took it that way) I can see it taken a number of ways. There's a chance he's trying to team up with Honda and hope that Kaiba won't start anything if it's two against one. It could also be that Otogi's not paying a lot of attention to Honda. He does see Shizuka and start moving in front of her before Honda moves into the frame the second time.

Going on a small tangent here but...

Keep in mind, Otogi stepped into a fight against four other guys and got himself involved in the fight against a cult to protect Honda and Shizuka. Sure, you can say that he did that to have a chance with her, but that's a lot of risk to have a chance with a girl he knows nothing about... especially for a guy who could have any number of girls with minimal effort. He will also shortly after this put up his own body as a gamble to protect Shizuka from a creepy old man that wants to wear her body like a suit. Personally, I don't think Otogi has any romantic feelings towards Shizuka at all, since each time they interact, he isn't so much flirting as he is trying to protect her. He treats Rebecca in a very similar way when he joins the duel between her and Varon under the assumption that Mai is also dueling, and that Rebecca will be outnumbered (and the correct assumption that a 12-year-old is about to pick a fight with a cult member who has the power to steal her soul. I've heard critiques that Otogi is very sexist because he won't let Rebecca nor Shizuka fight their own battles, which, yes, that's one way to take it... or you can take it as him stepping in when people significantly younger than even he is (Shizuka is 13) are put into incredible danger.)

That was lengthier than I meant for it to be, I'm sorry, back to the actual post.

So, despite everyone's best attempts, Kaiba's not landing this plane. Now get out.

Shizuka makes this face as they leave.

She's not having a good time.

Again Honda tries to talk to Shizuka and again Otogi cuts him off. He also grabs her hands and makes a very dramatic show of himself.

He makes this ridiculous face (that the dub skips because right after it, Shizuka blushes, and the dub really wants to portray Duke as the bad option in this love triangle. So we can't let it be known that she's happy he's doing this.)

This. This is not a face you use when you're trying to be suave and impress a girl. Heck, this is not a face we'll ever see him use again. We've seen him be suave and flirtatious, we know what it looks like, and folks, this ain't it.

To me, he knows he's being ridiculous and over-the-top. That's the point. He's trying to make Shizuka smile or at least stop making that face.

Now... this is where things take a turn.

Disclaimer: This might come across like I don't like Honda. I don't dislike Honda at all! It's just the nature of this scene.

Honda volunteers to go look for the Millennium Ring. Yugi agrees that they should all look. Honda says no, Jonouchi and Yugi should focus on their duels.

We cut to Otogi (still holding Shizuka's hands, I think she's okay now buddy you can stop) and he asks if Shizuka wants to help him search (he does not speak for her like he does in the dub.)

Honda insists Otogi come with him and very forcefully shoves/pushes Otogi away from Shizuka (who does, admittedly, look relieved.) When Otogi tries to protest that this isn't what he wants, Honda grabs his face to silence him.

This is not the first time someone has silenced Otogi by forcefully touching his face.

And this is not the expression of someone who is at all comfortable with the person touching him.

Honda then proceeds to drag a flailing Otogi away from the group while covering his mouth.

Otogi is doing everything in his power to communicate that he does not want this without being able to speak or break the guy's hold around his neck and no one is recognizing this as a sign of distress... or they are and they're just not stopping it. Heck, Jonouchi thinks Honda is being nice.

We can also see in this still that Honda's got a few inches on Otogi. Not a lot, Honda is 5'11 and Otogi is 5'8, but that's a considerable difference when you're intimidated.

Honda drags him to the top of the blimp and, while Otogi is looking about the blimp for the ring (what Honda claimed they were going up here to do) Honda stays still. Directly in front of the door. Blocking Otogi from being able to get away. (I can't post any more images in this post I'll have to rely on hyperlinks now.)

Otogi can't get away and he's been pulled away from the group. He is very aware this guy has a problem with him and can very easily overpower him.

So Otogi does what I've dubbed activates smug mode.

I'm going to make another post elaborating on activate smug mode (this one's long enough as it is) but, basically, Otogi only acts this way when he's trying to get the better of someone or when he's feeling threatened. He is also incredibly smug when he approaches his father to tell him that he lost to Yugi, knowing full well how his father will react to that news. It's a defense mechanism. Honda's taller and stronger than Otogi, all Otogi can really do is badmouth him and make him feel smaller in hopes that that will make Honda back off.

He then makes this pose.

I'm no body language specialist, but I worked as a counselor at a battered women's shelter for a while, so I was taught a few things.

1. He turns to his side. When you're intimidated by someone, you don't face them directly. You tilt your body away to give the illusion of distance, and to keep your vitals out of their direct reach.

2. He folds his arms in front of his stomach. Remember, Shizuka crossed her arms in front of her stomach when she was facing down Kaiba. Otogi is masking it a little by pointing and propping his elbow on his hand, but folding the arms over the chest or stomach remains a typical sign of insecurity/fear.

3. He is clutching his arm. This is something people do during severe bouts of anxiety in an attempt to ground themselves.

In conclusion, yes, Otogi sounds very confident and like he's egging Honda on. He sounds confident. Because that's the only thing he really has over Honda. Honda seems insecure about his appearance when compared to Otogi, thus why he gets deeply irritated whenever Otogi gets close to Shizuka. Otogi taps into that and uses it because it's his only defense in this situation. Maybe Honda will get fed up and leave to go lick his wounded pride.

It doesn't work. They throw hands. Well, Honda throws hands. Otogi stays in a very defensive stance the entire time. Fun fact: Keeping your arms raised close to your face and blocking your chest is one of the main stances in the more defensive based martial art of Tae-Kwon-Do.

In conclusion, my name is Axel and I think about this way, way, waaaay too much. I am of the belief that Otogi is very intimidated by Honda. I was going to attach images here of all the times Honda grabs Otogi's shirt/ threatens to punch him in the face but since I can't attach any more images and hyperlinks are a pain, I'll save it for another post. There are at least five instances.

No, I don't hate/dislike Honda, in fact, I'm pretty sure if Honda knew about Otogi's background, he'd feel terrible. The fact is they're both insecure teenage boys, Otogi because of his home life and Honda because of his family's social status and perhaps his lack of success as a duelist.

And... while I've thought about this scene a lot ever since posting that other post, I never realized how sad it makes me. Otogi's not hiding that he's not okay with being manhandled and dragged off, and his friends just sorta. Let it happen. Again, I don't blame any of them. Both Yugi and Jou have a lot on their minds and they don't seem to notice that this is a problem. Probably because 1. Honda and Jou are very physical/ playfully threatening people, that's just how they are. 2. No one knows about Otogi's homelife. They have no way of knowing he would have issue with any of this. They do it to one another all the time.

I have a lot of feelings.

Thank you for coming to my TEDTalk.

#child abuse cw #In this essay I will #Well that got long #{Axel speaks} #Musings/munnings

[faikurogane]

I've been climbing up the pedestal

Title: I've been climbing up the pedestal (that I put you on the first day we met, babe)

Pairings: Fai d. Flourite/Kurogane

Rating: T 

Word Count: 2k

Summary: KuroFai Aquatic/Lifeguard AU | Fai was absolutely certain that his life was over the day it was announced that Kurogane was being promoted to headguard.  The bastard seemed to have it out for him since day 1, when Fai stepped on the pool deck all fresh and chipper with his shiney new whistle and bright polyester hip pack. | Enemies to Lovers

Author’s Note: This fic is for @godtiercomplex for the KuroFai Gift Exchange hosted by @kageyambae. I am so sorry that this is so late!!! Work & school kinda snuck up on me, so my sincerest apologies! I hope you like it! 

Background knowledge-

So I kinda got carried away with the Aquatics references, I’m sorry. Here are some helpful things:

HeadGuard -- like a supervisor but without actually being a supervisor, usually headguards take care of writing up rotations and customer complaints that regular guards can’t handle.

Rotations -- Basically like a schedule but for that specific shift on that specific day. It’s the order of rotation of stations around the pool. EX: first you go to the lanes chair, then to the slide chair, etc. 

Fai was absolutely certain that his life was over the day it was announced that Kurogane was being promoted to headguard.  The bastard seemed to have it out for him since day 1, when Fai stepped on the pool deck all fresh and chipper with his shiney new whistle and bright polyester hip pack. Kurogane volunteered him for cleaning duty that day and Fai had spent his first 5 hour shift mopping and sweeping and cleaning windows and literally everything else that wasn't sitting in a lifeguard chair,  all while Kurogane had cleaned beside him, silent and watchful. Fai thought maybe, just maybe, that's how they initiated new guards - maybe they didn't want them on the stand the first day, wanted them to get used to the facility first - but then he spent the next 5 god-awful shifts with Kurogane. Cleaning. Every. Fucking. Inch. of. That. Goddamn. Natatorium.

And if the guy ever said anything, well, Fai didn't hear him. Finally, after the fifth day of absolute silence of cleaning next to Kurogane, Fai started talking. About his life, about why he became a lifeguard, about school, about his brother and his adorable little niece.  Kurogane had grunted on occasion, but mostly the talking just seemed to frustrate him. And Fai could use that to his advantage, so he did. He blabbed on for hours, glancing over occasionally to see Kurogane scowling to himself as his face got a brighter shade of red every couple minutes. Fai noticed, after a little bit of prodding, that if he dropped in the occasional suggestive comment or mild flirt, Kurogane would turn an ungodly shade of scarlet and usually leave for a little while. Which, in the end, it didn’t get him off cleaning duty, but it did give Fai a certain sense of accomplishment to know that if Kurogane was going to make his work life a living hell, Fai could sure as hell make him uncomfortable in the process. But now, Kurogane was headguard. And Fai had a feeling his life was about to get a hell of a lot worse.

Fai had been working at the Beika Recreation Center for nearly 6 months when Kurogane got promoted. As headguard, Kurogane was unfortunately now in charge of rotations - meaning he pretty much controlled where Fai started and ended during a shift and, well, you guessed it, he was on the rotation with the most cleaning breaks, timed out perfectly so that they’d be on cleaning break at the same time, just to taunt him, no less!

“Do you think I could get put on another shift? Like, y’know, if I talk to Yuuko?” Fai asked, sighing as he took another bite of his sandwich. Tomoyo sat across from him in the break room, carefully picking through her salad. She waved her hand in a so-so motion and glanced over at the whiteboard, eyeing over the rotation Kurogane had put up a few minutes ago.

“Doubt it. She gets...petty. And Kurogane’s one of her favorites.” Tomoyo said, stabbing a large chunk of onion, “Maybe you could talk to Kurogane. Ask him why he’s being a dick?”

Fai groaned louder, sandwich dropping limp on his lunchbox, “Sometimes I just want to ring his--”  Tomoyo’s eyes widened and Fai stopped, turning to look over his shoulder to see Kurogane, arms full of various buckets.

“You want to ring who now, Flourite?” Kurogane let out a long breath as he heaved the buckets onto the table. Fai sat for a minute, mouth slightly agape as he tried to think of the best course of action in this situation. And well, Fai was never one to be known for his subtlety.

“You, of course, darling. Want to put a ring on that pretty little hand of yours.” Fai’s voice dipped low, sarcasm dripping from every word, but there was a smile on his face. Kurogane’s ears burned bright red and he coughed, ran a hand down his face, and walked briskly out of the room. The doors to the pool deck slammed behind him and Tomoyo started laughing not a moment later.

“See? He just gets all frustrated and--” Fai started, but Tomoyo clapped her hand on the table and shook her head, still chuckling.

“You think he’s frustrated?”

“I mean, what else could he be?” Fai scrunched his eyebrows together, absolutely lost as to what Tomoyo may be implying. She gave him a look and sighed.

“You’re up for cleaning break next, right?” Tomoyo grinned, “I think you’ll figure it out.”  

*********

Fai scowled into the bucket of musky oil-water sat before him as he lifted yet another drain cap from it. Kurogane sat next to him, a bucket of his own settled between his legs. De-winterizing the outdoor pool turned out to be a lot less fun than it had originally sounded, in Fai’s opinion. First, having to set up an elaborate system of draining pumps to get all of the leftover water out of the deep end, just because some idiot decided they needed to build a pool in the goddamn wetlands of northeast Ohio. A task, which, of course, fell on Fai, in Kurogane’s timely absence. And then taking drain caps out of water that smelled like day-old grease and sweat and cleaning them by hand. Kurogane had finally shown up then and sat next to him without a word. He didn’t even look in Fai’s direction. Thirty minutes of scrubbing passed and Fai could feel himself falling asleep from the staunt repetition.

“So my niece, Sakura, y’know, the one who’s really into those murder mysteries -”

“Agatha Christie’s Poirot?” Kurogane interjected, and Fai stopped what he was doing for a moment, and then brushed it off. He talked about Sakura a lot, of course he would remember.

“Yeah, I think that’s it. Anyway, She’s been taking up needlepoint recently. So yesterday, my brother and I came down to the living room and found her asleep on the couch, all covered in thread and fabric. Just kinda curled up in it. It was adorable.” Fai smiled and plucked out another drain cover and set to work, “Anything fun or new in your life, Kurgie?” Kurogane didn’t respond. So, Fai moved on-

“I just started my last semester of undergrad, so my brother has been insisting I start trying to find my own place. But I’m just lost on how to do it. I was thinking somewhere around here, but y’know, I’m new and I don’t know my way around yet. You know of any good places?”

Kurogane stood to grab another bucket without so much as a nod of affirmation. Fai huffed and tossed the drain cover he was working on back in the water and turned to glare at Kurogane. Tomoyo’s suspicions from earlier had been getting under his skin and Kurogane was acting a bit off. Maybe Fai had really pissed him off earlier?

“Do you have a problem with me?” Fai stood and moved closer to Kurogane, who’d practically frozen in place at this point. There was an odd expression on his face, kind-of half surprised, half confused, like the concept that Fai thought he was upset with him was the most ludacris thing in the world.

“No,” Kurogane said.

“Then what the heck is with all these cleaning shifts? Do you think I’m a bad lifeguard? Did I insult you somehow? Is it because you think my stories about my personal life are just way too entertaining?”

Kurogane’s brow furrowed and he set the bucket on the table behind them, “No.”

“No? Just. No? Okay. Well. I guess that’s that?” Fai threw his hands up and grabbed his hip pack, “I’m going to see if Watanuki will switch rotations with me.” Before he could move toward the door, Kurogane caught his shoulder, and Fai had just about had it with whatever the hell was going on. He ripped his shoulder from Kurogane’s grasp, “What? What the hell could you have--”

“Fai,” Kurogane interrupted, his voice calm and even, “I apologize if you’ve gotten the wrong idea.”

Fai scoffed at him, the wrong idea? The wrong fucking idea?

“Well forgive me for interpreting you turning me into a glorified maid as an indication of you disliking me.”

Kurogane sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger, “I didn’t--You’re hopeless. Did you ever think that maybe I just liked working with you?”

“You just liked working with me? So the first day you saw me, hadn’t said two words to me, and you were just like...hmmm...this guy looks like a really good worker and he’s going to be my new---” And then something in his head clicked, and oh, oh okay.

“You were interesting.” Kurogane muttered.

“You thought I was pretty.” Fai grinned and took a step toward him. There was that blush again, all dusty pink on Kurogane’s cheeks as he stammered through an excuse-

“Interesting! I thought you might make a good guard and-”

“You thought I was pretty.” Kurogane was backed up against the whiteboard now, and as Fai took a final step toward him, his eye caught Kurogane’s name on the rotation schedule, “You thought I was pretty and you put yourself on cleaning breaks with me so you could what? Make a move? You barely said a word to me for 6 goddamn months, Kurgie!”

“I wanted to get to know you, you idiot!” Kurogane was pointedly refusing to look at him.

“And you didn’t say anything because?”

“Didn’t want you to think I was trying to take advantage of you.” Kurogane whispered and Fai let out a deep chuckle.

“It’s cute that you think you’d be able to.”

A pause hung in the air and neither moved, though Fai was still leaning close, barely inches apart from Kurogane’s bare chest.

“I…” Kurogane began, only to be interrupted by the sound of a double whistle, effectively ripping him from his place against the wall as he rushed out of the break room. For a moment, Fai thought about following him out, teasing him all the way to the guard stand as he went to deal with whatever issue was at hand because 6 goddamn months of cleaning hell was nothing to sneeze at, even if it was because Kurogane was absolutely horrible at voicing his feelings. And Fai has to admit that, now that he considered it (and now that he was no longer convinced that Kurogane hated his guts), maybe catching a movie or going to dinner with the guy wouldn’t be half bad.

Fai cracked open the door and glanced out to see Kurogane standing by the side of the lanes and talking to a patron as one of the new guards stood by. Kurogane, on his part, looked like the ideal image of a lifeguard that one tended to only see in magazines - all tan and handsome in his dark blue trunks. Unfortunately, the guy Kurogane was dealing with didn’t seem like he was going to be letting him go any time soon - lap swimmers never wanted to give up their lane, regardless the reason- and rotation would be switching in about five minutes. Not enough time for Fai to get ready to go up and also talk to Kurogane about their possible future romantic endeavors. So, he settled on writing out his number on a slip of paper and settling it neatly amoung Kurogane’s things. Ideally, he’d catch him after work, but there was no reason not to have a contingency plan, just in case.

With that, Fai gathered up his things and started out the door, making a point to walk the longer way around the pool to get to his station just so he could pass Kurogane and wink at him as he passed by. The lap swimmer was still yelling, but Fai swore he saw a smile creep across Kurogane’s face. And yeah, Fai thought, going out with him wouldn’t be bad at all.

#kurofai #trc #godtiercomplex #kurofaigiftexchange2019 #i'm so sorry its so late im die #my fanfic

[moiraineswife]

Hey! I've been looking at your short stories and I think it's amazing so I thought you could do something about Philippa and Sheala, please? Something like Sheala comforting Philippa about something ³ haha I'm already grateful ❤️

As it happens I’m on another witcher/Philippa kick atm. so pls take this from me. (I haven’t read the books in a little bit, some of this might not be strictly canon but like, we will all just deal with this for The Lesbians) 

                                             All The World’s Escapes

The evening was quiet, peaceful, precisely the way that Sheala liked it. There were many reasons that she chose to live at the very top of a very tall tower, and the silence was just one of them. All that could be heard was the soft scratching of her favourite pen against her favourite parchment, and the crackling of the fire she had lit in the background for warmth. 

All of it was shattered by the sound of smashing glass, and instant cursing. She recognised the cursing at once as Philippa, naturally, as there was no-one else present in her tower, save the ghosts that would never leave it, and they rarely made sounds. Though she thought she might hear them now. 

Getting to her feet and leaving her present research, she moved into Philippa’s study. 

The moment she had known they were simply perfect for each other, was the moment Philippa had requested the construction of her own space. 

Sheala couldn’t abide living on top of other people all the time, even a person she happened to be very much in love with. It was simply too much. 

Everyone needed their own time, and their own space, in Sheala’s view. The mistake other couples made was believing they had to live in one another’s pockets all day, every day, in order to somehow prove their devotion to each other. 

She was, frankly, too old for that bullshit. And Philippa was simply too frank for it. 

Pushing open the door she found her partner with both hands braced on her work bench, with a grip so tight Sheala was quite impressed it hadn’t splintered beneath it. Glass shards were littered across the floor, and Philippa was shaking, her teeth clenched to hold back the further stream of curses Sheala was quite certain were on the very tip of her tongue. 

Moving into the room, she placed a gentle hand on Philippa’s shoulder. It was thrown off almost at once, with enough force that, had she not known better, she might have thought indicated hate. 

Philippa would not look at her, let alone speak to her, but she did not really have to. Sheala was quite sure she know what had happened. 

“You’re expecting too much from yourself far too soon,” she told her quietly. “Come to bed with me now,” she offered.

She was not in the least bit tired and, if truth be told, was itching to return to her research. But this was a time she judged Philippa most certainly did not need to be alone. She needed someone. She needed Sheala. 

“Come on,” she coaxed, when Philippa neither moved nor answered her. 

“I cannot come to bed,” she gritted out, between clenched teeth. She turned on her, her expression twisted with fury and frustration. 

She had left her usual band from her face, and the empty pits of her eyes seemed to condemn her, and threatened to drown any who looked into them for too long in the hatred Philippa herself was bathed in these days. 

“I cannot see,” she hissed, “I cannot restore my eyes. I cannot perform a spell to rid myself of the pain of them,” she went on, and Sheala flinched slightly at the venom in her voice. She moved a little closer to her as she spoke, clawing her way along the bench like a feral cat stalking its prey. “I cannot mix a tonic for sleep as I used to. I cannot even cast a basic spell to light a candle, which a five year old could master, because I cannot do a thing in the state that he has left me in, and you wish me to come to bed?”

“Philippa-” Sheala began, though without any real hope of stopping her. There was no stopping this, and Sheala’s heart broke for her, and broke again with every word she spoke, but there was nothing to do but let her speak them.

“Is that supposed to fix everything, Sheala?” Philippa spat, viciously, “If I sleep tonight, will I wake tomorrow with my eyes? If I rest, will my hands stop shaking, the way they’ve been shaking since I left that place? The way they’ve been shaking for a week, so badly that I cannot work a single somatic spell? If I come to bed will I be myself again? Or will I be stuck this useless, powerless, weak creature that I have become until death takes me?”

Her voice rose to a shout with her last words, and she lashed out blindly. Bowls, mortars, delicate glass tubes, vials, and instruments were flung across the room as though tossed by a sudden hurricane, shattering, and causing Sheala to cover her ears from the sudden, deafening sound.

When Philippa spoke again, however, she would happily have lived the rest of her life with that unendurable noise, rather than the haunting silence left in the wake of her words.

“Because if so, she cannot come for me soon enough.” 

Sheala opened her mouth, to say what, she had no idea, but she never got a word out before Philippa had shifted into her owl form and bolted for the window. 

She had spent more time as owl than human, since she had returned. The owl did not have eyes, any more than she did, but the rest of its senses were far keener than her human ones, and there was no pressure to cast spells, no pressure to speak, no pressure to eat, or to sleep, or to care for herself, while she was in that form. It had become her crutch, and there was little Sheala could do to stop it. 

Sighing, she used magic to clean up the mess that Philippa had made. She repaired the instruments she could, and destroyed the ones that she could not. 

It would be some time before she saw Philippa again. She had become quite used to this, to Philippa fleeing this tower in a futile attempt to flee her frustration, and her problems, and had developed the perfect routine for it. 

She returned to her studies for as long as she could. When she judged it would be a little less than an hour before Philippa’s return, she used magic to begin warming their bed, went to select one of her favourite books from the library, before returning it again, cursing herself, then began to make Philippa’s favourite tea, infused with some lavender. 

Just as she was pouring that into two cups for them, a bright flash of light in Philippa’s study announced her return. 

She walked in, trembling from the cold now, not just her injuries, soaked to her skin. Sheala stood without a word, and helped her out of her clothes, and into the soft, dry ones she had looked out. Then she guided her towards the fire and sat her down. 

Her head was lowered in shame, and it was that, more than anything else, that showed Sheala how low she had sunk this night. 

She pushed the tea into her hands, but Philippa would not drink it. She simply sat, holding it between her frozen fingers, staring into a fire she could not see, but could no doubt feel the warmth of it upon her face. 

After a long moment, she spoke. 

“This world is so large, Sheala,” she said, her voice rasping a little from exhaustion. “It is so big, and getting bigger all the time. Yet no matter how far I fly, no matter how fast, or for how long, I can never escape the things he’s done to me.” 

“No,” Sheala replied, briskly, and brutally, as was her way. Philippa turned away from the fire, back towards her, frowning slightly. “You cannot run from your ghosts, Philippa, any more than you might run from your shadow, or your bones, or your soul. You must carry them with you, as must we all.” 

She reached out and took Philippa’s empty hand in her own, “The only place you can run is to your home. To me.” She squeezed her hand gently, “Where you will be reminded that all of your burdens, all of your demons, and all of your ghosts have a home here, too. They all belong to me as well. And you do not have to carry any of them alone.” 

Philippa was silent for a long moment. Then, more surely than Sheala had seen her move since her return, she set down her cup of tea, got to her feet, and held out her hand. 

Sheala took it. 

“Come to bed, Sheala,” Philippa said, softly, turning and leading them towards their rooms without another word. 

Philippa smiled softly and followed her without a word. 

The tower was quiet once more. Her peace had returned to her. But more importantly, Philippa had. 

#witchaddiction #philippa eilhart #Sheala de Tancarville #sheala x philippa #the witcher #the witcher fic #philippa fic #phil x sheala fic #phileala #phileala fic #my writing #jesus it's been a while since i posted fic #this is maybe a bit ooc for phil #but trauma makes all of us ooc so like #we can just deal with that too #anyway i hope u like it friend #it's something #gives myself a 'u tried' star #prompt fill #prompts #luca answers #answered

[greatoneforsaken]

Hey, I've always wanted to ask this, and since it seems that Bloodborne 2 may be a bit far off I feel like now may be a good time to make an oc for it. So I wanted to ask: How did you come up with Halfsies? What inspired you to create him, what inspired his backstory? I've been struggling to muddle together any semblance of a coherent character, and wanted to ask around to see what inspired the people I look up to!

Oh man, I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to answer, life is hard and my time management skills are A+. Halfsies’ backstory is kinda how I start most of my characters: It starts with a vague idea or by an ‘inception’ idea, if that makes any sense? It could be a trope you like, shit it could be as simple as there’s a faceclaim you like, or a character from an existing work that you draw inspiration from. Personally I find the idea or inspiration to be the easiest start and work from there. For Halfnut in particular it came from the notion of ‘I wanna have a character who is part beast’ because of how the beasts are treated in the bloodborne universe, and the lore surrounding them and how they came to be. It was also assisted by the fact that I love ‘human’ monsters, or monsters that inspire some form of empathy? So that was his start - the basic ‘this is what I wanna do with him’; from there on out it was filling in his details. “Part beast” could only take me so far - if you wanted to end there, that’s perfectly fine, but I find the next steps help make a neat character; and there is so much lore in the soulsborn series that there’s so much to go from - find an idea you like and run with it! For halfsies, the next step was figuring out a ‘how’ and ‘why’ he became like what he has transformed into. This step was pretty easy actually, I’ve always ADORED the idea of ‘great ones’ or gods that are so powerful they’re beyond human recognition; add in the fact that they’re one of the reasons why the beast plague was on old yharnam and I knew I wanted to go with that. I was actually super torn on having Halfsies’ true backstory rely on a cannon character so heavily - I’m always scared to make my characters “””mary sues””” or w/e (someone called my characters that once upon a time and it kinda has stuck with me?), so I struggled for a while until I said fuck it and had Halfsies get how he did via: Ebrietas. Honestly if people don’t like your character, that’s okay, you’re not gonna make everyone happy and it took me a long time to really let that sink in? I still get worked up about it though...But anyway, so we have the basic idea, the follow up idea, and then the ‘how’ covered, but now for the why? Making this part was super easy for me actually XD; Anyone who knows me knows I LOVE to torture my characters - the more strife, pain, and angst they go through the better! So it fell down to ‘why would a man seek out a great one, and how would he piss it off badly enough to make it curse him’. A father’s desperation to save his family? There’s little power in the world that could stop someone for doing what they think is right to save whom they love - and of course having his kid die in the process to really solidify the fact that he went completely bonkers enough to go seeking out an incomprehensible god. Now all of this didn’t happen right away, Halfsies is actually one of my older characters all things considered, and it took quite a while to really establish a solid background. If it takes you time, don’t stress it! AND if you don’t like how a character is turning out, don’t be afraid to scrap the idea! A professor once told me ‘Don’t be afraid to kill your babies’, and while he was talking about art at the time, it’s really applicable anywhere. If an idea is not working, don’t be afraid to try again - or edit out bits of their history or whatever. They’re your characters, do what you want with them! If you redo their story 15 times, who cares! Have fun with them. I put a lot of empathy into my characters, it’s a double edged sword at times, but I really do connect with them a lot. Halfsies is one of my closer characters because of how much time I’ve spent on him? Honestly he feels like a friend / a part of me, and I don’t think I’ll ever let him go. Halfsies was helped incredibly by the fact that I’ve also had some amazing rp partners too - both in private and here on tumblr. While I don’t really rp much on tumblr at this time, I still rp (that said I do have discord and if anyone wants to pick up something with Halfnut, just gimme a holler! He’s certainly not dead and I am around! I have this blog attached to my main so I see anything that happens here c: ). People help get a fresh set of eyes on something, they can work out things with you or throw your character into situations that you never expected. I never really ever considered his fake name to be Ebenezer, but yet it happened in play - and while it’s not his real name he answers to it in character because it stuck around in play. So having a circle really helps, but I also have had so many private thoughts about halfsies and how he’d interact with my other characters that haven’t made it onto the tumblr rp scene. I guess just love your characters, but if they’re not working, don’t be afraid to nix the idea and try again. I gave the steps to starting the character and working from there. I hope some of this helps you! Don’t be afraid to message me

#The mun speaks #mun talks #about #Diddles about the dude #Anonymous

[joyfullyimportantyouth-blog]

what I've learned

I don’t want to explain much because I think the photo speaks volumes about how much of a sexy icebreaker a neck brace can be when you’re trying to talk in choppy Italian. This photo (okay, a selfie, TBH) was taken in the Milan airport on July 23, 2017, two days after a horrific car accident one of my best friends and her family and I were in. Despite receiving beautiful messages from my dear friends and family, check-ins that mean the world to me, that help me heal, it’s been a hideout of stagnant headspace, of not moving much or thinking much about what really happened; “I’m okay, I’ll respond later, I love you” or no response has been my mode. I didn’t even tell anyone other than a few friends and my family. This I regret. Perhaps to keep going? After all, nothing permanent happened to me physically. This experience has made me realize that it doesn’t matter if your experience is worse or less so to others’; life is not a comparison. I realize it is the greatest disservice to dismiss. There is a significance to those tiny waves of “yes, you feel something, I know you do, stay with it.” That moving forth fast and going back to normal and keeping it all light is not a permanent must-do... that the opposite of that is not always sadness. That reflection can be triggered by the voiced concern of friends; for them to care more about me being okay than me asking that question to myself, I don’t know how to reconcile that right now. But I can remember so at least there’s an imprint of meaning for the right now. 

 It was surreal watching another car come slamming into ours and wondering who was alive and who wasn’t in that initial shock of the minute after it all happened. Thank god we all were. Bruised and whip-lashed with some fractured bones, but how lucky we were to make it out. I remember that vividly; coming to and hearing the moan of pain and then realizing I was already out of the car, having unbuckled and slammed the car door open even before I could see what had happened. The car engulfed in flames just as we were staggering away and I looked at how close we were to flipping off the guardrails. Everything hurt. It’s a strange thought to know that you could’ve died, or that what happened could’ve changed your life permanently. 

I think it does change your life permanently when you realize how your basic freedoms can be gone in a minute. It’s no reason to stay inside yourself and never reach out. Doing this would destroy the beauties of free will, which is to move when we feel compelled or inspired... to discover new spaces, whether physical or in consciousness, that we previously did not know existed. What we do know is what we have and to appreciate all those who we love or who we have loved... it’s so simple. We are complex, but that small action, however you feel natural to express it, is a reminder to ourselves that we are living with our hearts outside of our bodies and how important it is to show that we care.

Our bodies are so resilient; so are our minds, they are the same. So when one is affected, so is the other. It struck me that it’s really not that hard to find what is deeply, impenetrably important to myself when I was laying on the hospital bed, separated for a short time away from one of my best friends and her family. Placing both arms to my sides as people passed by in a hurry to be seen, the metal bed post felt cool against my skin. That simple recognition that I was alive, to feel the cold and the buzz of hospital lights. I didn’t tell myself to be strong; why do we do that? We are. 

For someone who loves words so much, I trusted each impulse. And that’s not always crying. Although... seeing a text from my mom asking if I’d had a good cry a few days later caught me off guard. After dropping the groceries quickly on the table, I stood in the living room for a good minute in a tired haze, just staring out the window like you’d imagine a sad girl would. My boyfriend looking at me wondering what was wrong but me responding “I’m okay, I just need to sleep...” He left the room to go make dinner for friends about to arrive. I felt each step heavily as I walked upstairs to the bedroom. The dark woods surrounding rustled the old bed sheets alive with fresh air. Slowly, careful not to move too fast, I took off my sundress, my gold compass necklace, my underwear... until I was naked, gently lowering myself onto the bed, entwining each leg with a section of dust-covered blanket. I moved my fingers around, my toes, pressing my face into the pillow to make myself go away. 

I woke up to the echoes of their voices playing a card game, the warmth of “vacation” found in fresh tomatoes on the kitchen counter, their family of friends sitting down to dinner while I laid down unable to sleep but unable to think...  so I looked at the wall away from the window, feeling that quiver before you break, crawling into a tiny ball and finally letting it all go into a torrent of deep crying that was a release of everything I’d kept quiet from myself. I wanted my family. My real friends. It’s amazing to remember how these moments come to be and how so much of it happens within your own mind.

When I called my boyfriend from the hospital waiting room - and he was the first person I called - he was at a festival and I could hear the scratch of microphone checks and people singing in the background. He was surprised to hear where I was, asked if there was anything he could do. I wish you were here with me, I told him. He told me to be strong; I didn’t quite understand. I just wanted him to offer me words that could soothe.That I could hold onto for the night just like the picture of us I looked at, the messages he sent me while we were apart saying “I love you,” pieces of our relationship that made me smile on my way to Rome a few nights earlier, alone and nervous-excited on my train from Naples. Why could he not give that to me? Then: wait, what can I do? 

That was a realization; realizing your partner is not the person to construct your sense of self, to make you feel happy and wanted and valued every minute. To feel loved was something I thought a lot about in the hospital; how we show it, how we give it, how we accept it, how we learn from it, how we stray from it. I think because I’ve spent so much time with this new relationship these last few months, I came to expect certain responses and ways of feeling from our interactions, only to be disappointed when they didn’t appear. To feel understood exactly the way that I would. But we are all different. And to let people - anyone, but a boyfriend or girlfriend in particular - have their own voice, not trying to change them, but stepping aside in a new direction to say “I choose you, but I need this,” I am realizing about partnership - where the most committed part is in taking care of yourself to see that other person clearly. 

To see their gifts. To use your own in whichever way makes you feel independent and proud of yourself for trying even if there is no "thing” right in front of you from your efforts. That was the gift of that moment laying on the hospital bed: the gift of forgiveness that we are all trying, that we all feel unskilled at times, that we all wonder what could be for us, for others. But mostly, that we are not alone. Because if you look closely, calming the little voice that says you need something you’re not able to get, remember that it is in the nuances of a hand held in reassurance, a passing nod, a question of “how are you?” that is the gift of validation. You matter. 

The responsibility of “doing something great” still weighs on me, though, after seeing that life can be short. It is in the “now” walking home from French class everyday, not just reserved for hospital waiting rooms, that can stop me in my tracks at how amazingly hard life can be at times. But how it is not a problem, it is a challenge, very much worth taking in and doing something about. And that so often begins with the relationships we choose to keep. However near or far love can feel at times, it’s there, it just doesn’t always look the same each time around. There can be more questions than answers at times. How to let people in, especially a partner... when to let them fix something and when you can help them... when you need to be on your own and when to let them be... how to become the person you want to be on your own and how to become together... life is truly a dance when you let someone become apart of you. To keep something for you is something I’m realizing is a pulse that I’ve gathered from this accident; that makes it no accident. It makes me remember how important it is to give my heart but also to keep bits tucked away to soothe myself on rainy days with the resilience I know which to be true. 

While I was being x-rayed, I thought, “is there something else out there right now?” Not God. But I think I was searching for something beyond words within myself. When I felt the days eclipse from being truly held and loved by Amelia and Gili in the hospital waiting room to riding in a bus alone to Catania to catch a flight back to France the next day, I looked outside to see what was real anymore. 

Everything.