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caelivir · 1 year

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rayne ames relationship hcs (part ii)

— WARNING: creepy behavior from a guy but that’s it

— author’s note. i feel like the author’s note from when i posted this doesn’t apply anymore, but anyway, this is part two but isn’t actually because i lost the first part when i accidentally deleted my account… again im so sorry. ALSO!! the writing is a little different bc i’m cringing rereading my old stuff. (how did u guys let that slide)

— HUGE HUGE HUGE THANK YOU TO @mikadzukis FOR SAVING MY OLD HCS I AM INDEBTED TO U!!!!

rayne ames loves dates with you. he loves them.

but he especially loves picnic dates

you introduced him to the idea on one of his days off

you promised it wasn’t going to be draining because you knew being a visionary is a taxing job

so he agreed

and he loved it

spread across the red and white checkered picnic blanket are plates of grapes, cheese, and sandwiches. two goblets of iced tea rest on top of a wooden board so they can remain balanced.

rayne’s large hands support his weight as he leans back onto the blanket. the half-blonde cranes his neck to stare up at the leaves. rays of sunlight peek through slivers of space between them. a butterfly flutters its wings above him.

“rayne!” you call for his attention.

your lover hums as a reply before directing his eyes toward you, offering his full attention.

“i made something for you.” you speak, grabbing for another basket on the blanket. you lift up the cover, reaching carefully inside it. you pull out a cake platter and set aside the lid that protected the dessert residing on it.

“it’s a cake!” you continue with a smile. “this is the first time you’ve been off in a while so i thought i could make a cake to celebrate! i even decorated it with some bunnies!”

a small grin grows on the visionary’s face. he pushes himself up. rayne takes the platter out of your hand and gently places it on a free board on the blanket. you’re caught in surprise as his arms wrap themselves around your waist. his head finds warmth in the crook of your neck.

“thank you.” he whispers.

rayne’s protective of you

he knows you’re capable of fighting your own battles, but there are certain situations where he just had to take care of it

if someone’s saying things about you or harassing you, he isn’t going to tolerate that

the entirety of easton knows not to mess with you, because messing with you means messing with rayne, and no one wants to put themselves through that

he’s already scary enough as is so all it takes is a couple of threats for the person to leave cowering in fear

you wait outside of the café as rayne uses the restroom. people of all ages each other as they navigate their ways theough marchétte street. one of them approaches you, but it’s not rayne.

“so what’s a fine thing like you doing alone here in the street.” a guy smirks, trailing his eyes up and down your body. you shift uncomfortably. he’s definitely a few years older than you and inches taller than rayne. a single line cuts through his right cheek, indicating his level of magic.

you swallow down an anxious gulp before speaking. “i’m with my boyfriend.”

“tell me gorgeous,” the man’s hand travels down the path of your jaw. you’re disgusted by his touch. “does your boyfriend like to share?”

“i really think you should go.” you respond firmly, shoving the grimy hand away from your face.

the guy chuckles, raising his hands in defense. “no need to get aggressive, sweetheart! i just want to know!”

“and who the hell are you?” a familiar deep voice says from behind you. you turn around to discover rayne, and your eyes light up at his appearance. you’re well acquainted with the detachment and chilling coldness of rayne’s gaze, but now, there’s a fire behind them.

rage.

he’s pissed.

recognition becomes evident in the man’s face, and it dawns on him that he just messed with a divine visionary’s lover, but before he can retreat, rayne steps in front of you. he yanks your harasser down to your level. you don’t know what the half-blonde says, but it’s clear that it sparks fear into the features of the other man. once rayne’s finishes with him, he apologizes profusely before running away in the opposite direction.

the anger behind rayne’s eyes fade; they soften when he finds your gaze. “are you okay.”

you grin. “yeah, now that you’re here.”

rayne lets you wear his robes

whenever you hang out in his dorm, your first instinct is to go through his closet and take them

when you first did it, he was going to protest

but you looked so cute i. them that he decided to let it slide

you especially like wearing them when you nap

though you wearing his robes does pose some problems for him from time to time

“you’re late,” orter points out from his seat at the table. his fingers slide the frame of his glasses up his nose. “and where’s your visionary robe?”

rayne strolls past the desert came, not bothering to answer for his actions. he didn’t want to admit—especially to orter of all people—the reason behind his missing robe.

this morning, just as he was almost ready to leave for the divine visionary meeting, rayne realized that he was missing his robe. the half-blonde searched ever crevice of his dorm but to no avail. rayne sighed, reaching the conclusion that you accidentally took it.

yesterday, he had to run a quick errand while you were napping. upon his return, rayne discovered that you had left. you scribbled a message on a notepad, explaining that you didn’t want to keep intruding. you were probably too tired to realize that you had his war robe in your possession.

rayne could waste any more time making a trip to your dorm. it was a bit of a distance from his. the best decision at the moment was to let you have it and attend the meeting without it.

that is how he ended up in this situation, late and stuck sitting next to ryoh.

“y/n has your robe, don’t they?” ryoh teases in a whisper. for some reason, ryoh had discovered rayne’s relationship with you. whenever the two visionaries crossed paths, his senior never fails to mention you.

the sword cane doesn’t respond. “that’s a yes, isn’t it?” ryoh continues with a shit-eating grin. he pokes the arm of the boy next to him

rayne inhales. gods, he was not going to hear the end of this.

whenever you and rayne are apart due to his job as divine visionary, you communicate through letters sent by owls

he talks about the places he’s at and shit talks the people he doesn’t like

you tell him about you classes and how things are back at the academy, especially things going on within the adler dorm

and you occasionally give him updates on finn because you know deep down rayne cares about him

an owl lands on the sill of the open window of rayne’s temporary room. the animal clamps down on an browned envelope placed in its beak. rayne approaches the bird, and it drops the letter into his hands before flying off.

the mattress of the bend sinks under rayne’s weight when he sits on it. he unfolds the piece of parchment in his hands unsealing the envelope. his eyes scan down the letter that reads:

dear rayne,

how’s your trip? i hope nothing’s gone bad. things back at easton have been the same as usual, but it’s not that fun without you here.

classes are boring, but that’s nothing new. i might rip my brain out. i’ve been baking to try and cope. by the way, when you get back, you have to try this cheese tart i made. i had your brother and a friend of his try them. they seemed to like it a lot. i don’t know the name of the kid yet, but he wants me to make cream puffs next time. he says they’re a lot better than cheese tarts so you’ll have to try those too.

speaking of finn, he’s doing extremely well. he’s making lots of friends which is really nice to see. he always seems nervous to talk to me though. am i intimidating or something. i don’t think i am. unless you’ve been saying some things about me then i think we’re gonna have a problem…

gods, i miss you so much. come back soon. i’ll be waiting for you always. take care of yourself and don’t stress too much. i love you.

- y/n

p.s. please get me a souvenir. thank you! i love you, again.

rayne stands up, finding a sheet of paper and a quill. he pulls out a chair by a table. a slight smile flashes on the visionary’s face as he writes back to you—his home.

#anime #manga #mashle #mashle magic and muscles #mashle x reader #rayne ames #rayne ames x reader #rayne x reader #° ᡣ𐭩 set i: fics

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cardcaptorr · 7 months

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Can i ask you for advice on how did u handle accepting u had to break up? :,,,) bc I think I'm experience ur same situation but we also still love eachother so much and its not easy at all to think about closing this chapter

I kind of woke up one day and realized I can't live like this anymore. that day, I still wasn't sure I wanted to break up, because breaking up was truly my biggest fear. I was so scared that day, but I realized that as scared as I am of breaking up, I'm also scared of staying together and being exactly where we are now in 5 years.

also, for a while, I thought we had to stay together because those 4 years would "go to waste" if we broke up. and I talked to my friend about it- and literally told her the reason we absolutely *cant* break up is because I truly believe it would be throwing away 4 years of my life. she told me something along the lines of: it's not a waste. this relationship existed and your memories together always will. the memories will always be there. it's not a waste because you learned so much, you had so many amazing times together, and you can still appreciate the relationship for what it was & not regret anything, all while realizing that it's time to walk away.

it changed my whole perspective knowing that those 4 years truly were not a waste. and I was able to make peace with the fact that we will not be making new memories together, but we have enough amazing memories for me to cherish and that's enough.

love really isn't enough sometimes. If we had stayed together, our relationship would have gotten stale. I know we love each other but I think we didn't like each other very much.... and continuing the relationship like this would be doing us both a disservice, and it would have tainted all the good times. sometimes you have to end it before it gets worse.

its 1:40 am and im so tired lol i hope this made sense and wasnt just a ramble~ good luck to you, sending u love 💗

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i-am-church-the-cat · 2 months

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do NOT apologize for rambling u can expect several long emails of literary analysis in this invox by the end of the week (provided i am not killed by the anvil of a deadline first o7) please continue to say things to ur hearts content <3333

okay then im using you as an excuse to get on my soapbox lol

i hope you don't mind me putting on my maxiel cap for a second, but i've been thinking about other drivers in my patron deities au and there's is just- ahhh

so Max was claimed by the goddess of conquest whose symbol is a lion (this is based off of the book im currently reading lol, shoutout to the Realm Breaker trilogy). this is the verstappen family god BUT she actually skipped Jos because she knew he would never achieve anything.

Daniel was claimed by the goddess of caged things whose symbol is a honey badger. The general thought process here is that when an animal is caged, they fight vicious and desperate, meanwhile that's just a honey badger's natural state lol. It also means Daniel has a harder time sharing things (emotions, secrets, even just inconsequential things) and he has a huge fear of being kept in one place. So more accurately his goddess is the god of caged things that desperately want to get out lol.

But anyway, im just sitting here giggling over this bc Max wants to conquer everything and Daniel never wants to be trapped anywhere so they also have two conflicting energies. it kind of makes them doomed here but isn't that almost more fun? max wants daniel too much (according to daniel) and daniel doesn't want max enough (according to max) so they're stuck in this stalemate

i can just imagine at the years at red bull, max was taking over the space because that's what he does and daniel could feel himself getting squished tighter and tighter until he hit that fight or flight instinct

and max is constantly chasing daniel and daniel is constantly running away. just like "there's nowhere you can go where i will not be there but nowhere i can go where you are mine". horrible horrible thing :))

#i love maxiel #i love when they're doomed by the narrative more #maxiel #series: hunting down dreams #patron deity au #anon ask #ask answered #f1 rpf #ramble

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autisticlancemcclain · 1 year

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fic rec friday 13

welcome the the tenth fic rec friday! where, on friday, i rec five of my favourite fics.

1. i was always yours (even before you knew it) by paladarns

Lance thought Keith was just an asshole. Lance has always thought of Keith as an asshole, all throughout traveling into space in a large mechanical lion, all throughout bonding moments. All throughout becoming closer as teammates and friends.

Even now, with his hands pinned above his head and Keith’s thighs straddling his waist, Lance thinks Keith is an asshole.

Lance had always thought he could see right through people, but now he’s starting to think he has a bad judgement of people.

---------- a fic in which keith is obvious and lance is a bit of a gay nervous wreck

takes place as if season 1 is the only season to exist but its now years later

so many things to love about this fic. so so many. so i am going to list them. a) secret relationship bc i love that shit and eat it up every time, b) ‘takes place as if season 1 is the only season to exist but its now years later’ -- paladarns my love thank you for this truly excellent description of where i write my fics like 80% of the time. c) keith has game, and d) HE WAS ALWAYS KEITHS EVEN BEFORE HE KNEW IT IM SOBBING BEST TROPE BEST TROPE

2. Wake Up, Sleephyhead! by @transbakugou

Keith has never loved someone like he loves Lance. Lance is his sun, his stars, his happiness. Their hands fit together like they were created to do nothing but hold each other, and he fits perfectly inside of Lance's arms. But he can never let anyone find out how much he loves this boy, how wholly and endlessly. Who knows what the Galra would do with that kind of information?

One morning, the lie comes crashing down around them.

Maybe it won't be as bad as they feared.

i love gay whipped klance and truly every single fic that has ever been written based on a vine is truly amazing, this fic is no exception. also secret relationship lol i am a sucker

3. Something Secret by @kingswriting

It was funny at first. Their arguments became more banter than actual disagreements, yet the entire team continued to assume they were at each other’s throats.

And Lance knows they’re not. He is fully aware that every sharp word, every sly smirk, every heavy handed push, and everything in between is anything but malicious.

But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t miss the softer side of things.

Or, Lance and Keith are in a secret relationship, but honestly want to omit the 'secret' part.

okay u can always tell what tag im following obsessively at certain times lol. for yall i present yet another secret relationship fic. ahem. this one is cute! banter and flirting and misleading and kisses and GOD its so sweet

4. Things Held Sacred by yarrie

So maybe, just maybe, Pidge was right. Maybe, just maybe, Keith had shot himself in the foot with his first attempt at resolving the blanket-hogging situation, because now Lance seemed to think it was a game and the rules were: steal the blankets, get sex.

To be fair, Keith hadn't exactly been...dissuading him very well.

okay so heres how this works. every fic rec friday so far has been from a specific collection of mine called ‘rereadables’, which was literally started because of this fic. i dont even know what specific part of this fic gets to me so hard, but you know when you read something that makes your stomach go all swoopy? and you can’t stop smiling? thats this fic! i remember i finished it for the first time and then i scrolled right back up to the top and read it again, then again, and again. like i cannot get over this fic. it gives me butterflies every time

5. Communication is key, they say by @ellana17

They already had communication issues before… Or: a malfunction with a healing pod leaves Lance able to speak only Spanish for a few days.

the idea of lance getting stuck in spanish and then almost immediately using that to flirt with keith without him knowing. like. i love that SO much that is quite possibly one of the funniest concepts to exist

that’s it for today!! i’ll see y’all back next friday for the next fic rec post!!!

#secret relationship focused bc i am annoying #fic rec #fic rec friday #vld #voltron #lance #lance mcclain #keith #keith kogane #klance #secret relationship #cuban lance #longpost #queue

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sojutrait · 2 months

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Hii soju I hope ur having a good day 🫶🏼

I wanted to ask if you felt guilty or sad when you decided to move on from the Halabi’s and started playing in your current save (soju save)? I was curious to know because I have this sort of guilt and sadness when I do not feel happy anymore when I go into a save I’ve been playing so long in 😭 like the spark isn’t there anymore & I sometimes fear it will never come back and with how beloved the halabi’s are did you ever feel a pressure to continue playing in that save?

i hope you’re having a good day as well fae🩷 🥹i didn’t have any guilt initially when i first started playing with eileen (bc i start saves like everyday they just dont usually end up doing anywhere djdkfkf) but when i knew i was gonna fully stop the halabis and take on the soju save “full time” yeah i felt a little guilty 😭😭😭

but then my brain went girl this is literally your HOBBY, if it’s not fun anymore it’s okay to stop!! it also helps that i have a horrible habit of “if i don’t want to do something, nothing in the world can make me do it” so i’ve never felt too much pressure to play if i didn’t want to djfkfk

there are some times where i take breaks from the soju save and im like “oh shit am i getting tired of them too?” but then i take like a week break and miss playing with them so bad 😭

so tldr: do not feel bad at all about not feeling a save anymore!! you might get that spark for it again back or u might not, either way those pixels will not gaf ejrkfk 😭😭

#asks #acuar-io

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time-is-restored · 1 year

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okay like listen i know a lot of people have been talking abt this specific aspect of 3x3 already but. im just having a bit of a moment w the amount of lgbt ppl who saw trent's expression at the end there, and like. Knew.

like to be clear i am aware that at this point trent being gay is, at best, subtext + fanon. its incredibly beloved subtext, but its entirely possible that it could get blown out of the water in the coming episodes. but within the reading of trent being a gay man, seeing colin in that terrifying moment of exposure + vulnerability... that look says So much. its fear, its worry, its an instinctive protective response. its helplessness, its shame from feeling powerlessness, its the grim certainty that comes from knowing just how much is at stake.

(cw: discussion of homophobia + discrimination below. its long. i very much rambled.)

bc the thing that i personally keep coming back to is like. everyone on the team is colin's friend - his family, even, according to the themes of the show. the show is literally about the team + staff working together to break down their toxic/unhealthy behaviours and build up a culture of trust + respect. that's why i think it's so significant that while isaac is the one to use the word gay pejoratively, he's also the one checking in on colin when he gets moved to the bench. he's arguably colin's closest friend at the club! and that's not enough. the fact that the richmond club is made up of demonstrably good and well-intentioned people isn't enough.

don't get me wrong, its fucking terrifying + awful being closeted around ppl who are ACTIVELY bigoted and cruel and who u KNOW would be nothing less than awful to if u were out. but the uncertainty of being around people you love, and not knowing what would happen if you told them? of never truly being sure of your place in the dynamic, since there's always that risk hanging over your head? its exhausting, and terrifying.

because what if they aren't accepting? even avoiding the worst case scenario where his bosses (the coaches, higgins, rebecca - hell, even keely) don't outright cut his career short, he's obviously extremely aware of how being on the outs with the team could lead to his life being made miserable. he was harassing nate himself! and, again, putting aside the (very real! he's a football player! he spends half of his time in a locker room!!!) threat of physical violence, we JUST saw how quickly a member of the team can be shunned + labelled as an outsider (and in the context of this arc, i rlly don't think its a coincedence that trent, specifically, was the one to experience that treatment). and that's without even getting STARTED on the absolute nightmare britain's press + papparazi would be if they put a target on his back (the show has spared no gory detail for their treatment of rebecca + ted, after all).

this is the type of weight colin's been carrying around for the past three seasons. and trent, in that split second before he looked away and continued walking, must've felt it all right along with him. colin works for the fucking premier league in fucking britain. it's harder to think of a workplace LESS hospitable to anything other than the most cishetero, toxic, hyper conformist displays of masculinity.

and that's what fucking GETS me abt the reading where trent is gay! because in the exact same moment where trent would be feeling such a sudden sense of connection + solidarity w colin (you are not alone!!! im here too! i see you! i know you!), there comes the crushing weight of wanting to protect him, and not knowing if you can. trent may be a notoriously incisive + unflinching reporter, but w/ all of his power + armour stripped away now that he's no longer with the independent, it's damningly obvious that trent doesn't have anything close to real power at richmond. if they wanted to make colin's life hell, what could he really do to stop them? again: they're fucking footballers. he's only even allowed at the club on ted's word, a word which could presumably be revoked at any time.

i just. the fear. the guilt. the shame. and above all, the desperate, heart aching need to keep another member of the community safe, even with the odds so blatantly stacked against you both.

and like. idk. to me that is the point of this scene. i think whether you've been in trent's position, or colin's, or neither, the vast majority of us went through a very similar emotional journey when we saw colin exposed like that. love -> fear -> protectiveness. and its an urge so strong, ppl are (lightheartedly, for the most part) threatening the Literal Writers of the show! like, the fact that rn there are SO many people out there tweeting + liveblogging and threatening trent, threatening isaac, threatening the WRITERS - threatening literally anyone and everyone over the CHANCE that any of them will hurt colin/out him/expose him to homophobia in any way? like, yes, colin isn't real. but i'd like to hope that that solidarity is.

and just to be clear, ted lasso is ultimately a comedy show. while it has never shied away from frankly portraying dark subject matter, i don't think this story will have an unhappy ending. but if this arc comes with any takeaway at all, i just really fucking hope that its about how that solidarity is what we all need to embrace + run towards, rather than try and stifle. and that colin is fully + unconditionally supported by his community, whoever that may be.

#cw homophobia #ted lasso spoilers #ted lasso meta #colin hughes #trent crimm #can you tell im having a very normal time abt this episode and its reception.#[tears streaking down my face] so normal. comically normal even.

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mrhowells · 11 months

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Smallville 4x22

Can't say I feel sorry for Genevieve bc that woman was nasty but Lana just got another thing added to the huge pile of trauma she already had😬

oh hey Lex, so what happened here was-

bunnyyyyy💕

"I had this one last week, really scary. This... guy wearing a red cape." "Wow, that sounds horrible Lois."

I can't do this they're so?????

STOP HAVING EYE SEX IN FRONT OF THE PARENTS FOR THE LOVE OF GOD

I'mskSJkslKSL Jonathan's face kills me

Mr. and Mrs. Kent, I just wanted to say thanks for everything. You guys are like the Mom and Dad I've always wanted to have.

Lois bby🥺😭😭

"Lois, we want you to know that you are welcome back here any time."

"Actually-" "We'll all miss you, Lois."

SHUSH Clark, we're having a moment here😭

blushing kicking my feet

"Oh, come on Clark, your future is laid out right in front of you. You're gonna go to community college, major in agriculture, probably minor in law enforcement. And then you and Lana are gonna have a nice little church wedding."

I can't😭

He's such a menace around her it's EVERYTHING

"Even if I could spell, the last thing I'd wanna do is spend my time in a newsroom. With my luck, I'd probably end up across the desk from the most bumbling reporter on the masthead."

OMFGSAHSAJDKHA

so much eye contact I'm going insane

If you hear faint screaming in the distance, that's me I'm losing it

CLARK YOU CAN'T LOOK AT HER LIKE THAT AND EXPECT ME TO BE NORMAL ABOUT IT I'M FIGHTING FOR MY LIFE HERE

i already know I'm going to hit the media upload limit and have to delete stuff, ugh😭

this episode is feeding me so well

my beautiful family😭😭😭 they raised me actually, true story

"Because you have a way of getting things in half the time a normal person gets things done." "And I'm not normal?"

Chloe really didn't do this one on purpose but OUCH😬

Lois with her "the general said/ taught me..."🥹

now tell me why this interaction fills me with so much joy😭

I love them so much it makes me look stupid

CLARK WILL U STOP BLAMING YOURSELF JESUS STOOOOP

✨and then I paused the episode and didn't continue until over a month later, my brain is wired like that I fear✨

Jor El is so unserious I'm sorry, if he wasn't so vague and cryptic all the time a lot of messes could've been avoided🤡

I just imagine the actual Jor El watching this go down in the afterlife and facepalming so hard

Clark is sad = I'm sad, it's the law

Lana giving Clark the stone without even removing the blood first lol

I feel so bad for her😭 I swear whoever made the plot decisions on this show got off on Lana being in pain and I'm getting more and more angry on her behalf.

and that's on good instincts

(I've seen people say that Lana going to Lex instead of Clark after killing Genevieve is further proof that she doesn't trust Clark at all and it's like... how tf was Clark going to help her in this situation???😭 I agree that Lana and Clark have trust issues ad infinitum but in this case she just did the logical thing, come on now)

I have to respect this man for the level of unhinged he's reached, truly

Lois is so cool😩 Once again I am free on Saturday-

"Before you leave this earth I want you to know... you did create the son you always wanted."

Lionel when I get my hands on you

NUH UH JASON YOU TOUCH MARTHA ALL BETS ARE OFF

I need Lex to chill and stop manhandling Lana & Chloe please and thank you💀 He's joining the unhinged club

Martha & Jonathan against Jason?? Yes please I love fights between people without powers or martial arts training

🎶somebody save meeeeeee🎶

the way Chloe pushed Lex against the cave wall was hilarious I'm sorry

Fortress bestie we're almost hereee🥳

:(((((

Lois is sad = I'm sad, again, those are the rules

seeing the only place she ever considered a permanent home getting completely destroyed, IT'S A LOT. This whole episode was a lot.

And let's not even get started on Lana JESUS CHRIST. Smallville writers I think we need to sit down and have a conversation about her because WTF?

I don't even care that the witch plot was wacky and Jason's character arc was really badly executed, this season was so much fun.

#ellie's smallville thoughts #smallville #4x22 #clark kent #lois lane #jonathan kent #martha kent #clois #lex luthor #lana lang #chloe sullivan #jason teague

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jiminrings · 2 months

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“The ache of unfulfillment in you is bred by everything significant in your life” really legitimized the harrowing feeling I have everyday questioning what I’m doing in life,

but also I don’t really do enough to change it? It is what it is(for the most part) and I’ve been living in my head constantly scrutinizing myself enough for three generations. It’s a sad truth I’ve come to live with, but I really resonate w readers lack of agency after all.

In a very selfish way, I was jealous of the eventual convo w joon airing out her grievances and seeing him will to make that change while addressing his faults. I wish I had siblings (or anyone) that saw me grow up and realize that maybe I did deserve better, better than just “okay”.

“What your mom does know is that she doesn’t know a single thing about the heartbreak you suppress, and that thought alone makes her hiccup in tears.” Can we put this in the hall of literary cogitates? Re: I had to open my journal in the middle of reading and reflect on why this scene came down on my chest like the meteor that killed the dinosaurs.

I loved yoongi (still rooting for him to grovel a bit more) but him finally revealing all the silent ways he loved reader was:(. She deserved to know how much she meant to him, that he loved her so much, traveled countries in hopes to find her.

I want to believe he truly loves(ed) her and she didn’t become his failsafe bc of the divorce with hyewon. I truly think “you don’t know what you had till it’s gone” describes Yoongi because he missed a lifetime a love for a couple years of settling with someone who didn’t respect him.

“You’ll go on this tangent that you’ve always been weak, influenced by the times that Yoongi had chastised you for your lack of a passion.

To you, Yoongi had been right in a way.

To Yoongi, he’s always been in the wrong” broke my heart the right amount :|

Haneul being a conjecture personified. A constant reminder of what reader could’ve had, but more importantly a wake up call that we’re too late for hypotheticals. We’re here now and have to deal with the consequences of (Y)our actions (yoongi:p)

I also loved jk. He was so sweet and if their jobs weren’t a conflict of interest, I’d be delighted to see how loved he’d make her feel. I hope he puts his crush to good use and treats her the best.

I think this has been my favorite oc you’ve written because of how much she resembles my daily life. A kind of selfish bit, but it’s heartwarming looking at someone knowing they deserved better than the cards they were dealt because that means there’s a hope someone will finally look at me and think the same. (Fingers crossed for us all)

Thank u sm for writing this and I hope my eyes are not mistaken me and there’s a continuation of the series? I’d love to see how it plays out

Also, reader & I would love a Spotify jam session w Passion by PinkPantheress on repeat all night long for sure <3

first of all, thank u so so much for reading and being here w me 🫂🩷 i'm with you with that harrowing feeling every single day bc whenever i look back at even the most recent month, i get so shocked?? wdym i am occasionally miserable bc of the same things i swore are the ones that keep me happy . ahhhh i'm glad that stuck with you!!!! u may not have siblings but trust me, as someone with two brothers, having them isn't what's always cut out to be i promise!!! i resonate w you wanting someone to tell you u deserved better (for the best and more than okay) n although i'm not your sister, i'm here to tell u that you really, genuinely did 🩷🩷 STOPPPPP u opening ur journal mid-read?? whew!!! haneul really is a conjecture personified i fear </3 thank you so so much for reading and taking the time to send me this!!! it truly means a lot to me (more than i can ever enunciate) n to know that oc is a statue of what you n i (n a lot of other people) feel like is really something!!!! ty for the recs n yes there'll be a season 2!!! MWAH!!!!

#answered #fs feed #love mail

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babiefries · 1 year

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you answered that ask i sent about urb being a sweetheart perfectly & i agree 100%. also feel free to continue as much as you want, never apologize for continuing your thoughts! i have some below.

i think urb is the type to not believe in soulmates, but he meets u and then he can’t deny it, knows they have to be real. he felt his world shift when he met you. you’re so unbelievably special to him.

but also imagine him not knowing or realizing how much better/intense/etc sex can be when you’re absolutely in love & truly connected to the soul to someone until he’s with u. he feels insatiable all the time, fucking is so good and like nothing he’s ever experienced before, and it’s bc u both just feel so connected to each other. when u look into each others eyes when ur fucking it ends up being the most intense orgasm u both have had. and it’s similar with other close and intimate positions.

but when u start fucking without condoms its almost like another shift. it’s unreal how good it feels for both of u, it’s so intense and you can feel the soul connection between you both so powerfully. but urb feels so fucking good fucking u raw he can hardly handle it. like the best high he’s ever had.

he’d be insatiable when it comes to you. he just wants to make you feel good, like that’s his main priority. ofc he wants blowjobs and to fuck u and such but u have to cum on his face first almost every time. and fuck……with that scruff it would feel so good. makes me clench thinking about it.

and he just loves eating pussy so fucking much…has to have it on the regular. cause 1. he loves making u feel good but also 2. his main motivator is that u taste so fucking good on his tongue he just wants. loves tongue fucking u and making out with the pussy essentially and hearing those moans from u knowing he’s the cause. makes him so fucking hard he probably could come from that tbqh, especially when u start riding his face, he just accepts his fate that he’s gonna come untouched from that.

but yeah he’s a romantic at heart and also knows u inside and out, knows every favorite and least favorite, every goal and every fear, all the things about u. so he knows exactly what would cheer u up, motivate you, make ur bad days better. (i want something now about him helping his girl thru a bad day 🥺)

and u never meant to tell him everything, but it just kinda happened. u just felt so safe with him the one night u were talking that it just kinda tumbled out. also means he knows the best things to do for you romance wise and it always catches u off guard cause he’s that good at it.

i really love the idea of being each others safe place. u have always told him the safest place u feel is being wrapped up in his arms and he also just becomes ur safe person. it goes both ways too, urb knows he can tell u anything without fear of judgement or anything and he probably would end up telling u things that maybe jack wouldn’t even know. and imagine jack would want to get to know u so bad bc he needs to know the girl that took his best friends heart.

also yes i think he’s gonna be so goofy with his lover omg, she probably jokes that she can’t stand him but the look in her eyes says it all.

am confident urb would share his weed with her all the time, loves smoking and getting high with his baby.

also yes i agree he’s planning dates all the time around his crazy schedule and sometimes u go on dates while he’s traveling cause it’s a priority of his. and he always sweeps u off ur feet so to speak cause it’s just. he’s so good at it. but every date has a photoshoot. has multiple files of pictures of u. some before the date with just you then with him, some fit checks, a ton of off guard pics and also rated r pics.

would have post orgasm pics where u look absolutely fucked out, ones from during, with new sets of lingerie. actually he would probably do boudoir type shoots of u a lot, he has sooooooo many ideas.

def agree he’d look at her like she hung the stars and the moon. (would take her camping i bet too so they can watch the stars 🥹) she’s everything in his eyes, like his whole world tbh.

jack would want to get to know her so bad. urb would prob hide her away from everyone cause he wants her all to himself in the early months but eventually jack gets to a point where he feels like he needs to meet the person who’s stolen his best friends heart. ofc jack would love her cause she makes urb so fucking happy, but i think that they would be able to bond super easily regardless.

i’m glad you agree he’s a sweet boy, i believe in it so strongly. did not mean for this to be this long i just started and kinda couldn’t stop. 🫣

also — a note at the end. urb would slay at the met gala tbqh

Wow I agree with all of this word for word especially with Jack wanting to meet the girl that got his bestie so wrapped around her finger.Like when/if urban is finally in love and it’s in the early stages I can definitely see him being a bit on guard being that he is a now very well know photographer for his bestie jack that someone would try and take advantage of his liking towards them to benefit their selves into getting closer to jack.But as time goes on he sees that you really have true intentions at the start and are there for him in the long one and that his feelings are important to you that you wanna build a strong relationship.And Ik that other people are gonna have there opinion about how urban is with women being as some people like to be too in his business for a person they do not personally know at all but with what we have seen over time urban looks like he knows how have a good time for himself and others around him,he just seems like he brightens up the room with his banter and that the more that you get to know him that he can show you a side of him that’s more reserved for people he keeps close to his heart but also you’d get to see the side of him that loves and cherishes you so much.Like I said before once urban finds his person it’s game over like that man is locked in for life! Whether or not he has his relationship public people are gonna know that this man has someone waiting on him at home that not anyone can compete or compare to in his eyes✨😌I also feel like if he is a bit public about it that he’s definitely just gonna like spam post her randomly then go back to regular program 😂😭like there will not be a time when he ain’t letting his girl shine and have her moments like she literally got a professional photographer as her man he’s getting every angle and making sure his baby look good okay💅🏽😌

Urban would absolutely love smoking and just vibing with his girl(me personally I don’t smoke but I think I would dabble in the future)like I can imagine how goofy y’all would be together just high and being in the moment with each other and having one of those like “moments” where everything just feels so right like the universe is at a stand still and it’s just you guys ora coming together and making you feel whole with each other.

Sex would just be a whole new experience for y’all feeling that type of intimacy of being so close together like y’all are becoming one soul with to body’s and it’s just so intense that you both just get so lost in the feeling and how wonderful it is.

I would try and write more but my brain is just so distracted and I can’t focus on one thing😭but I think our boy Urban is and absolutely sweetheart and a romantic when it comes down to his future person he would buy her the entire galaxy if he could

#urban wyatt #jack harlow #jackman harlow #urban wyatt x reader #jack #urban

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bylertruther · 2 years

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what do you think about will's line "you make [me] feel like [I'm] not a mistake at all" coming after the rain fight? he was devastated by the rain fight and thought of himself as stupid because of what mike said to him about not liking girls. he also destroyed castle byers because he was so hurt by mike's words. how does that fit into will's perception of mike as someone who has never made him feel like a mistake and who makes him feel better for being different?

(I really hope this ask doesn't come across as anti-mike or anti-byler bc I love mike and I love the ship so much, I'm just trying to understand how will's clear hurt after the rain fight and the distance from mike in lenora connects to the van scene and I'm asking you because you seem to have a good grasp on will's character)

warning: this is Extremely Long and i am Extremely Sorry, but the rain fight and what it means for their characters is one of my favorite things to talk about ever and so i have So Many Things to say abt it. sorry i lov u don't bite me pls.

no, i think it's totally fair to ask that! seriously, don't worry at all about how you come across. i don't agree with the idea that liking something = never acknowledging its flaws, so i'm always down to discuss stuff like this. i'm going to dive deep into my interpretation of the rain fight, because i feel i need to express that first in order to answer your question fully.

if i'm honest, back when it aired, the rain fight was what 100% struck down any microscopic crumb-of-a-crumb of hope that i had for byler in Any capacity, platonic or not. i finished the season and then didn't give a single shit about the show as a whole afterward, because i felt like it was such a slap in the face. not only to will, but mike, too, considering this is a character that's stood by will's side against all sorts of monsters, whether they were middle school homophobic bullies or eldritch monsters.

at the time, it was exceedingly difficult to reconcile the mike i loved and the mike i was seeing on screen, but i feel a little more clear on it now. i could be totally wrong, clouded by my own bias and perception, but here's how i see it all.

the rain fight hurt me more than anything in the entire show, because of how real it is and how neither of them are objectively wrong.

mike is in his very first relationship. it's shiny, exciting, and new. he's kissing all day, getting a rise out of authority figures, and having enough fun that he spends All of his time with her. it's not a serious relationship, but he's a kid, el is the first girl ever that isn't repulsed by him, they have an Insane trauma bond, and she's his "superman". it's not serious but it's Serious 2 Him, you know? he feels like a Big Boy now and he hides from his Very Bad Do-NOT-Touch-Or-EVER-Think-About Trauma behind this relationship. it makes him feel like he's moving forward.

will is feeling a similar sense of exhilaration and freedom. the gate was closed and the upside down has fled their world for good. hooray! he can finally be a teen again! he can finally be his version of Normal now, aka the will he was before the upside down! no more now memories, true sight, or fear that Something will come to get him, whether physically or mentally. he's a hostage unchained basically. it's summer, he has his party, and he just wants to have a good time with them. he just wants to be happy, live a little, and feel safe.

mike is seeking safety and reprieve in a girlfriend and will is seeking safety and reprieve in his friends.

but then...

mike's turning point:

mike is told that if he wants to continue to see el, he has to lie to her. so he does and then his Serious 2 Him relationship is over in a very unserious blink of an eye lol. he doesn't know how to win her back, because he doesn't actually know her, and he's understandably upset because he Wants To Have A Girlfriend Again because she's his Crutch.

he Needs her to feel Normal, but she does Not need him, which canonically makes him jealous. remember that this is something Super Important to his character, because having a girlfriend means he's Cool and Normal and Needed, which are more important than water and food to mike right now. i reiterate this, because that's mike's Entire Thing Since Forever. he Needs to keep up the act, because he doesn't like who he is without it as we learn in s4. he Needs it, desperately.

as such, this has him out of sorts and he seeks out lucas's help to win her back. we know mike, which means we know that he can get tunnel vision when he fears he might lose someone. so, this aggravates his already-negligent behaviors ("i was worrying too much about el" [paraphrased], "it's been like this all summer") and he turns into a Super Shitty Friend.

... i was going to go over will's turning point, but his journey is pretty clear, i think. everyone has a girlfriend and they all want to do girlfriend activities and they canonically forget about him in the process. he's there and yet no one sees him. ouch. lets fast forward to the fight.

will has reached his breaking point, because this campaign he's worked so hard on and is putting genuine effort into to make engaging for his friends is being treated like a joke. they're not laughing with him; his friends, his best friends are laughing at him. and that fucking Hurts. he's been trying to get them to do things they used to do, he's been trying to have fun with them in any capacity, and now that they're here... he's the fucking joke of the hour and they're quite literally jumping up and running at any opportunity to cast him aside.

so, you know what? fine. whatever. you guys win; i give up. have fun with the girls. i'm going home. lucas is shocked to the point of speechlessness at how upset will is, but mike immediately jumps into action. he softens, tries to go back to the game in earnest this time with lucas, and goes after him - almost trampling lucas - when his pleas are ignored.

will was invisible (to all, to mike) until he wasn't. (something about being careful what you wish for..?)

now, we fast forward again to the moment when will's heart is torn in two: "it's not my fault you don't like girls!"

first, let me say this: michael wheeler is a fucking bitch. we know this and we love him for it even when it hurts. that was a shitty thing to say, but... that does not make him The Shittiest Boy Alive, Ever. not even a little bit.

in season three, mike is a teenager behaving like a teenager. he felt ambushed by will's feelings and like it wasn't fair that this was all on him. ("you're the heart / without heart, we'd all fall apart"; again, the party is his responsibility, "but why is this all on me? why am i the bad guy?"; mike always has to be the leader, carrying the party on his back, but he himself doesn't get to unwind which is unfair in his eyes.) he isn't privy to will's journey like we are; he's caught up in his own world and his own shit, remember? he doesn't react super well, but will is yelling at him, very upset over something He Didn't Even Know He Was Doing All This Time ("you knew she was having trouble for a year and didn't tell me" aka this is where the "will doesn't tell mike the truth until it's too late" pattern begins), and telling him that he's the one ruining the party over some stupid girl, aka his (ex-)girlfriend, aka the girl that saved their lives, aka the girl that saved the Entire world twice so maybe don't call her stupid, will. (mike always sticks up for people, so of course he isn't going to react well to el being called stupid here, even by will.)

he shouldn't have said it, but mike is knee-jerk, cornered-animal reacting to will putting this all on mike's shoulders at the very last second after never having given him a chance to fix any of his actions. will bottled this all up and then exploded on him. of course mike isn't going to react well. of course he's going to put his foot in his mouth and say the first thing that comes to mind.

because in his mind, it really isn't his fault that will doesn't like girls lol. and it isn't HIS sole fault that the party is falling apart. not everything has to land on HIS shoulders. not everything has to be HIS responsibility.

he's a kid going through his own shit, that's lashing out at someone for lashing out at him first. it was shitty, it hurt will to his core, but i don't think mike meant to be cruel. he immediately backed down, tried to explain himself rationally (that they're all just changing and will should've expected that bc it's not like they can be the same kids forever), and then went after will (literally across town, on bikes, in the pouring rain and thunder, to his house and then to castle byers) to apologize.

he doesn't do this with anyone else—not even lucas or his own girlfriend. and when he does apologize? it's because someone is forcing him to, walking him through it, or because they did it first. mike doesn't ever make the first move or humble himself first... unless it's will. then he suddenly knows exactly what to do and what will needs from him. because he knows will and he listens to will.

everything that he did for will in that scene is precisely, word-for-word, what max told eleven that he'd do for her In The Same Episode just moments prior—but he didn't. he didn't!

he did everything he was "supposed to" without guidance or hesitation or headassery... for will.

when eleven confronts mike in season four and tells him he never says i love you, mike responds, very seriously, with "i say it." and you know what? i agree with him wholeheartedly.

mike loves will more than anyone. we're shown very clearly from the very beginning that the only person in the show that rivals his love, devotion, and loyalty for will is joyce. and will knows this! that's why mike is his bestest best friend! that's why he's hopelessly in love with him! because "max, dustin, and lucas, they're great..." but they're not mike! no one treats will the way mike does, and mike doesn't treat anyone the way he treats will! they're perfect for each other and will knows this! that's why he expected and wanted a future with mike!

and... he thought that mike wanted that, too. because THAT'S the crux of the rain fight. it isn't that will is gay. it's that will thought mike wanted Crazy Together, too! it's right there in the dialogue, what it is that they're really fighting about:

MIKE: I mean, what did you think, really? That we were never going to get girlfriends? We were just gonna sit in my basement all day and play games for the rest of our lives? WILL: Yeah. I guess I did. I really did.

the fight is representative of an amalgamation of things and it cuts will's life into yet another before and after, but the point isn't that will doesn't like girls. the point was that will really thought it was always going to be them together—he thought they both wanted that; that that would be the one thing that never changed, even if they and everything else around them did.

when will is looking at a picture of them and saying "stupid.. so stupid" and RIPS IT DOWN THE MIDDLE BETWEEN HIM AND MIKE, with the memories that Start And End With Mike And His Voice Being The Focal Point, i interpret it as him feeling stupid enough to think that his feelings, his wants, and his dreams were ever reciprocated. stupid enough to believe that mike really did mean crazy together in every single way. that he meant it the way that will meant it and had always meant it.

mike is the one that brings up forever and will confirms it. he says yes, i did want that with you and i thought you wanted it, too. their argument ends there, because THAT was the real issue. You Got A Girlfriend And Replaced Me With Her; Something I Never Thought We Would Do To Each Other. THAT'S (!!!!!) the issue. THAT'S why mike looks so devastated afterward. THAT'S why he bikes in the rain to apologize. THAT'S why he looks so sheepish when will puts his dnd book in the donation box, why he's worried that Will Is Going To Replace Him With Someone Else!!! because their rain fight was about the fact that it was no longer him and mike against the world!! mike got a girlfriend and broke their unspoken promise!!

THAT'S why mike repeats "we're friends. we're. friends." at rink-o-mania, why he tried calling him all the time for Months (he felt like he'd lost will the same way that will felt like he'd lost mike last summer, their roles were perfectly and exactly reversed here), why he said that hawkins wasn't the same without him / there's no one like you, why he said they should be a team again (an Us, a We, Crazy Together; curiously after his gf breaks up with him lmao). it's the same fight all over again. "i lost you" / "i'm right here." + "friends... best friends." / "not possible." it's always about loss with these two.

that's why i feel like the rain fight doesn't contradict will's van confession. i think will's line of thinking is that mike can't help how he feels; aka, "i can't blame him for not returning my feelings / outgrowing our childhood love". and him not returning will's feelings doesn't make will feel like a mistake.

what made will feel like a mistake was his desire to go back to how things were and the realization that that was impossible. will tears down castle byers because it's too full of everything he once had and he learned the hard way that There Is No Going Back, There Is Only Going Forward. the theme of s3 is about change and will realizes this in the most heartbreaking way possible.

i hate the idea of anyone reconstructing castle byers, because the point is that will outgrew it. he can't hide through escapism in dnd or in castle byers. he has to build a life that he loves and feels safe enough in that he Doesn't Need a castle byers. (that's why s4 has him coming out of his shell wrt his sexuality and wanting to be open and honest about it as much as he can be with the ones that he loves and trusts, and he'll continue/conclude that journey in s5).

in season three:

mike learns that he doesn't Need eleven (see: how happy he was with will especially at the end, seemingly on good terms, and giddy still as he told el abt them coming over for christmas [note how he mentioned playing games in their basement for the rest of their lives in their fight vs how he's making plans to have them both over so they can play with their gifts {aka he's still thinking of will bc he Wants that future with him, too, deep down}]) ... until she kisses him, tells him she loves him, and then his brain breaks and all hell breaks lose again because the byers are literally leaving in just a couple minutes so how the FUCK is he going to deal with any of that, AND THEN in s4 when he does seem okay with being broken up with again he's then 1) reminded that she's his responsibility and 2) he needs to save her because if he doesn't then the world literally goes to hell and they all fucking die. so. yanno. that's tough. mike takes two beautiful steps forward and then gets pulled fifty steps back every time.

and will learns that hiding is not the same thing as living and that he needs to stop that if he wants to be able to move forward (see: "he's good at hiding", using dnd as an escape vs him giving away his dnd books + hopper's letter and the cave metaphor + being more open in s4 and wanting to "come clean" about being gay + the gay-coded advice he gives mike abt truth and fear).

mike definitely hurt him, but that's one moment out of a million where he's otherwise made will feel strong, loved, and capable, and will has told us that much himself more than once. will doesn't fault mike for wanting something else, someone else. he loves him without any expectation of it being reciprocated in that way.

he loves him, just because; because mike has always loved him and shown him a kindness and mercy like no other; because mike has known what he is and loved him anyway; because mike came to him and told him he didn't deserve anything after their fight, that hawkins wasn't the same without him, that the past year was weird without him, that he's more to mike than any of their other friends even after all this time, that they should be a team again as they face the end of the world together without superman's help.

because no matter what... they always love each other in a way that no one else does. even if will wants more than that, even if he aches with it, he still knows that what he has with mike is so special as it is. and that's enough for him.

mike didn't treat him any differently when their biggest concern was some mouthbreather calling him a fairy and he didn't treat him any differently after the upside down when everyone walked on eggshells around him, thinking he was about to break. mike has always treated him like a person that is strong and loved, and one sentence in the middle of a fight during a very stressful time for both of them doesn't diminish a history bursting with love.

i think what will fears isn't mike knowing he's gay, but mike knowing how will actually feels about him. i say this, because of the van confession and this line of will's in particular:

Sometimes I think it's just scary to open up like that. To say how you really feel, especially to people you care about the most. Because, what if… what if they don't like the truth?

this is played with the [tender, emotional music] which we know the sound directors used for intimate moments. will is also gauging mike's reaction here, giving him a searching kind of look, like he's testing the waters. will doesn't know this, but we as viewers know that this is a conversation about mike not being able to tell eleven he loves her. it isn't a reach to say then that will is talking not about being gay, but specifically about "how [he] really [feels]" about mike. that's what scares him: his unreciprocated crush, not his sexuality.

the duffers have said that will is trying to make himself be understood in the van scene and that will cries because mike doesn't get it. if he thought that mike was a homophobe, he wouldn't want to share this about himself. instead, mike makes him feel better for his otherness in all its shades. he wants to tell mike, because he wants to be honest with him and release some of that burden from his chest. but he's scared. he's so, so unbelievably fucking scared.

because, it's exactly as will says: "what if [he doesn't] like the truth?" what if that ruins the friendship that they just rebuilt? what if eleven finds out and then it's Even More Weird and Uncomfortable for everyone involved?

and considering how self-sacrificing will is... i feel like that's his other biggest concern regarding that entire clusterfuck. he loves them both. he doesn't want to hurt them or come between what he Thinks they have, because that'd be selfish and will isn't ever selfish even when he should be.

will's line about mike making him feel better for being different has canon support from season one and two. mike's outburst in season three is an outlier in his otherwise spotless record of loving will byers to an unhinged degree. even in season four, we see that mike never stopped reaching out to will. it was will who never reached out and mike was understandably upset about that, but even then he did try to include will afterward only to get iced out which "sabotaged the whole day" in his eyes. will didn't know this, though, and that's why he behaved the way that he did. still, will knows who mike is when he's not pretending and he wants mike to know who he is when he's not hiding. the rain fight hurt will indescribably, yes, but not because of the "it's not my fault you don't like girls" line in the way that it's understandably interpreted. so... i think it all fits together just fine.

#i could write essays on essays on essays on epic poems abt the rain fight bro don't get me STARTEDDDDDDDD #believe it or not this was me holding back 2 the point where i had to take so much out n try to condense it.#byler #byler analysis #asks #long post #mine

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stuckinapril · 7 months

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yes i am crawling into your ribs and slowly eating at ur heart like i would eat a pomegranate actually. it’s as sweet as a sunday afternoon consisting only of sunlight and jazz and us two bathing in the afterglow of our laughter whilst tripping over the wrinkles of out living room carpet, trying to dance to the music but ultimately failing, yet all we can remember is the joy that we consumed and loved in.

(also i think i do have a substack? it’s just the fear of having to put half a piece of my cookie-like heart into something and having only ants appreciate it skdhkdjdk. glad u enjoy it so maybe i’ll just continue writing here <3)

I LOVE YOUR WORDSSS I LOVE THIS IMAGERY this is literally cocooning me like my favorite wool blanket. please never stop writing! and yes omg please pop in always w your wonderful words. you are officially pomegranate anon bc i want to know it's u whenever u swing by <333

#ask #pomegranate anon

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weirwitch · 1 month

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thank u for the tags @thenn & @huramuna!

1. How many works do you have on ao3 (or masterlist)? - none currently, but i’ve been focusing on two wips as of late!! i’ll be cross-posting them on archive of our own, wattpad, fanfiction.net, and here sometime soon.

2. What’s your total ao3 word count? - ^

3. What fandoms do you write for? - mainly a song of ice and fire/game of thrones/house of the dragon. i have some ideas floating around my noggin for star wars and harry potter, but i’m doubtful they’ll ever be posted

4. Top five fics by kudos - none until i get off my procrastinating tushie and excavate my fics from the drafts

5. Do you respond to comments? - every single one bc i fear my body yearns for validation like water...

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? - definitely my wip set during the dance of the dragons, very tentatively named moth to a flame 🤭

7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? - i’d refer to it as bittersweet > happy, but i’d say my agot wip, witching hour

8. Do you get hate on fics? - i have not and i pray i never do

9. Do you write smut? - i have not... yet 😈

10. Craziest crossover? - feeling so vanilla rn saying no to all of these questions, but i have not partaken

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? - unfortunately 😵‍💫

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? - i haven’t, but i’m definitely open to that once i’ve posted!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? - not for one singular fic, but i am working on an asoiaf series of connected fics with my bffie @thenn! it's called the dream for dawn 🌄

14. All time favorite ship? - definitely maerwynn/pate/jon, aka the main ship of witching hour 🤭 they’re poly (bc jon snow is a bi king) and my fun way of subverting the love triangle trope!

5. What’s a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will? - probably my jedi: fallen order wip, sol invictus ☀️ the main oc is a force-sensitive bounty hunter whose name is jeska sol, and she’s paired with inquisitor au!cal kestis bc that has always been very sexy to me

16. What are your writing strengths? - felt too Cocky to answer this myself, so i relied on @thenn (as per usual)... according to miss dani, my ocs and lore changes/additions feel unique but still merge well with canon, and i tone-match grrm’s writing style very well (“u could ghostwrite twow and ados and no one would notice”). she also says house weir is easily her favourite original house. yes i have tears in my eyes, next question please

17. What are your writing weaknesses? - dani says my downfall is continuously writing the same 10 chapters over and over again bc i think they’re no good. and she would be right

18. Thoughts on dialogue in another language? - all good, as long as a translation is included!!

19. First fandom you wrote in? - this just unlocked the deepest, darkest memory... my friends and i used to write pokémon fics together in the first grade. we'd even print them off using the school printer and disperse them to the class. i wish i could read them 🥲i can still see the stapled pages and the comic sans font in my mind's eye, and i KNOW there was a dramatic arc of ash cheating on misty with may

20. Favorite fic you’ve written? - definitely witching hour, coming soon to a tumblr near you 😝

tagging: @starkladies @vecnacreels @cardeegans @jennyofoldflowers @sainteda

#my musings #tag game

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novembermorgon · 1 month

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Hello op tis me again!! Apologies for taking [checks notes] 84 years to get back to you I have had A Week. However!!! Cayn and Ysabel continue to live rent free <3 like I'm just so obsessed with how gothic they are which is like. My favorite thing tbh. Part of me is gratified bc everything you said I kept nodding and going yeah I thought so, because your art was so *clear* the vibes were just. So easy to read (in the best way). I THOUGHT the ring was a match with Aegon's and also rip the rat tail long live the rat tail. I have to say Ysabel haunts me but Cayn scratches an Itch. Like. U feel me? Cayn belongs squarely in Hannibal NBC with his palatable person suit that is doing very little to distract *him* from the fact that he's about to eat someone whole and raw and it's probably going to be someone he loves before he moves on to someone he hates. Maybe it'll even be the same person. Who knows!! There's this tragedy to them both but Cayn is almost trying to tell himself he can Change it and Control the way the tragedy will fall (and getting humbled bad lmao) while Ysabel is like. Carrion carted away by the waves. Never stood a chance and at some point she stopped fighting very hard. Also I feel like. There's this Deep Intimacy yet Huge Emotional Distance between Aemond and Ysabel where neither knows how to communicate or really Approach someone so instead they have to consume maim kill leave a mark. I cannot touch you except to hurt you ect. And her obsession with him is in and of itself so haunted bc it's like she wants to Eat Him but she Doesn't but that way she can Control It but. And we stay at that but. While with Aegon and Cayn it's like yes I do like you. I fear writing the stronger word. Instead I will eat you whole and you will remember me by the imprint of my teeth on your side and I will remember you by the way I bloat with desire for you and choke on your blood <3 and it's like wooow. Wooow. Love it. Obsessed with it. As you can tell I do not like them normal. Do u know what happens to them at the end of the war? I can't imagine Ysabel ending up any better than Helaena. But also. I gotta say. Big fan of tragic siblings I am—I have So Many Feelings about these two relating to each other qnd hoe The Love Was Apparently There and it Didn't Change Anything. Too many feelings to put it too words. After all that word vomit (thank u if you read the whole way through) I wish to tell you that u have inspired me to make my Bolton oc more weird and unsettling and haunted. My disgraced Lenora and her legion of skinned animals and skulls <3 My Shadowskin Lady. I want her to be such a Freak while also being so tragic and doomed to being nothing but a third wife <3 but anyway!! I have stolen enough of your time and wish you good luck with your commissions!! Thank uu for replying to me and I look forward to future works on these doomed suckers 😌

under the cut because this got long ..

IM JUST GLAD TO BE TALKING ABOUT THEM !

it did make me sit and stare and giggle a little bit because its true you were very on the mark with them . i do think part of the charm with the boltons Is their inability to be anything but very un-subtly gothic and weird and strange . you look at them and you can immediately clock what's going on here .

and its very true… ill be so real and genuine i STILL havent watched hannibal the whole way through but ive absorbed the vibe enough through many years of being a gay person online to where yeah definitely this guy has some hannibal in him . that bit of restraint in really really trying to put yourself in a square that slowly but surely begins to crack under the weight of at the core needing to feed the urge to hurt something . believes himself to be strong enough to keep it away but ultimately the same fate waits each time …… similarly to ysabel . they both end up in the same place of hurt inflicted on others and in turn on themselves but while cayn fights against it and tries to rise above it ysabel leans into it and accepts it regardless of how much it scares her because she's always been taught to lay down and take whatever comes her way as a polite nice lady that doesn't fight and doesn't say no .

i do like to spin their relationships around in my mind . both separately and between each other . with ysabel i feel like her most intimate moments Are when she gets to be a little unhinged ie biting and chewing on someone etc because its very raw . so entirely separate from anything she knows and anything that's expected of her and so desperate and pleading that it gets very real . whereas cayn for a long time sees that violence as a failure to himself and in turn prefers to sit down and have a polite conversation and only thinks of how it would be to reach across the table and strangle a man . ultimately though that violence is inherent to him i like to think he wants to feel in control of it . wants to have the upper hand no matter what and doesnt like when it becomes an urge that just drives you without thought or reason . ysabel starving animal who cant help it vs cayn predator on a calculated hunt etc in the end theyre both very much formed by being raised by a dad who was so much worse . united in misery and a root of violence and hate and death that was planted in them from the moment they were born . they both have it and they will never escape it because there was never a point where it wasnt there. as for endings ….

i'm a little conflicted on them both partially because i still need to iron out some war details etc but as a general frame of reference it ends aaaalmost the same as in canon beyond the fact that the greens win a little more vividly . well . as much as you can 'win' a terrible tragic war with your own family . in the end jaehaera + aegon + alicent + cayn + ysabel and her kids are alive . aegon iii and viserys ii hang around too like in canon . i imagine errhhmmmm… (taps my noggin) aegon remarries . ive been fond of cassandra baratheon stepmom to jaehaera lately . well.. king's landing politics ensue . everyone is sort of miserable . i swear that i'll get to figuring it all out one day . i swear!!!!

most relevant to court i guess would be ysabel since i imagine she remains in the red keep for most of the war and after it . mentioned somewhere i think but she has two kids - a daughter (aelora) and a son (baelor) both of which make it through the war - but baelor is weak and sickly kind of partially because ysabel is basically left half-bedbound after her second pregnancy that probably shouldn't have happened in the first place . … he dies of illness pretty young which sends ysabel spiraling even worse than she already was post war . girls who have their bodies irreversibly ruined and torn apart to where they can barely function anymore in the hopes of having a son - giving a little boy to a husband who is bound to die at war and having your son follow closely behind and having it all be for nothing . i think she grows to resent her daughter silently for being a girl (westerosi misogyny so deeply seated even in its women) and i don't think they ever really grow all that close . sits and rots in her chambers or in the gardens and dreams about her dead son and her dead husband instead of looking to the family she has that are still there .

i think she's kind of disconnected from court just based on the fact she's entirely too hurt physically and mentally to really even be able to contribute much . she's allowed to sit in her misery because she's family to the targs atp but it's a little rough . in a little twist of weird connections i think she would get along with aegon iii pretty well in the sense that they're both horrendously miserable and she projects some sort of son onto him. sits and reads with him and talks about whatever kids talk about and acts like nothing is wrong for a few hours

i played with the idea of her eventually joining the silent sisters as a sort of final frontier of guilt and shame and horror at what her life becomes but i don't think she would even have the drive to do that much at the end of the war LOL

and cayn …

this one is trickier because he's …. … ……..? i dont know. i think its tough to find a real direction for him in my mind and i cant figure out why . but i think i got it.. more context first > their dad dies during the war, i imagine somewhere around rook's rest after the north is openly split apart or a bit later on when they actually try to go against the starks directly, and in my mind it kind of leaves cayn in (similarly to ysabel) in a state of being trapped in the past in a place he can never return to . their dad represents everything cayn believes he should be and all he should live up to and all his house and family stand for and seeing him die really does get to him . not to mention he also gets hurt pretty bad - just that chunk of harm that comes with war and what it'll do to a man. forever stuck on some field of battle far away and the world keeps spinning but you never quite spin along with it . dons his dad's armor and now suddenly he's saddled with the weight of responsibility and duty and all their family's pain both literally and metaphorically . kind of resembles the bolton skinchanging theories if you really get insane about it ie you take on a man's skin (his weird flesh armor) and now you're just as much him as you are yourself etc

i imagine he returns to king's landing for a while after they've duked it out with the starks for a bit and the north cools off a little . comes back and he's hurt and aegon is hurt and barely conscious half the time and his facade probably drops pretty harshly . spends some time taking care of aegon and doing what he's told and dreams about the fact that there has to be a purpose and a meaning to fighting a war . goes against what he used to want (restraint) and drives himself to violence and hate because if he doesn't then he'll sit down and think and realize that his dad died for nothing and theyve been fighting stupid battles for a cause that he doesn't really care about . rabid guard dog off the leash with no true goal he wants for and no true cause he believes in .

by the time the war ends and aegon remarries i imagine he leaves court because admittedly he would actually seethe a little bit seeing aegon married again . with helaena it was okay because i think he recognizes neither of them chose that and neither of them (from my perspective) really love the other in any romantic sense but when it's an active choice he gets really really upset . silently of course . <3 the gay yearning catches up with him and he faces the fact aegon is barely a person anymore and he has no place at court in turn . goes home to the north and with the greens sort-of-winning he's given winterfell and titles and they settle into some kind of peace for a little while. he marries a karstark girl because it's what his father had intended for him and they're about as unhappy as you can get in a relationship. maybe they have a son in time but more than likely not. i think while everything kind of holds up for a while there are a lot of issues here that don't seem to ever really get resolved properly - lots of unhappy lords and lots of bastard siblings who think they know better and lots of rumors and disagreements and a steady swirling pot of disaster boiling under the surface. i can imagine he goes off to fight off some rebellion after a good few years and ends up dead . maybe for the best .

i dont know if ysabel even really processes it . i think if she wasnt already so unresponsive she WOULD just step out a window

in another reality that im going to manifest in my mind space cayn stays in king's landing after the war and has someone else manage the north . sticks around and tries to ignore the fact that he's jealous and angry and feels no satisfaction or ease even when they've won and the war is over . sticks around and has a toxic evil homosexual relationship with the king that grows strained when he has a new wife and a kingdom to run properly this time and they settle into a horribly tense unbearable distance that's broken only when cayn steps up and poisons him or just chokes him out or something and proceeds to kill himself ala your first gay situationship where dying feels like a good alternative to having to process the fact that you cant really be together . hope you understand . either way the boltons (well . the ones that are relevant in this case there are always cousins and second cousins etc in asoiaf to pick up the slack) fizzle out and end up miserable or dead even after the promise of power and status is fulfilled . don't aim too high or you'll have that much further to fall if you will a whole lot of nonsense being put out here but i hope you enjoy whatever's cooking …. really really appreciate the interest and im glad to provide whatever u might be wondering about + more ramblings… would LOVE to see more freakish bolton ocs also . there is nothing like a horrible house that raises horrible people who reek of tragedy and terror and a doomed narrative and SO many chances to make something so fun please tell me more !

#txt #asks #oc tag #taps my noggin. subject to change .#i was going to do some doodles for this one but i got hit with the commission panic beam so itll have to be for another time .#skipping and giggling and playing etc

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noxiatoxia · 8 months

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hi i wrote this like bulletpoints bc im not making this an essay. tldr youre kinda right but kinda wrong and this isnt new but kaorus issues DO get resolved we just dont really see him say "hey!! my issues are resolved :)) ". he lives through the things he was anxious about and survives so we can see it gets resolved. just in a shitty way.

ep 16/karuizawa arc> kaoru tries to help hikaru and himself to have their own individuality by experiencing different types of relationships and increasing their emotional maturity

ep 21> kaoru describes the cindrella metaphor. the dynamics in the club are the carriage. (haruhi/tamaki as daughter/father noted)

>tamaki is the one leading the carriage, aka the dynamics. hes the "leader" in a sense.

>once tamaki realizes he likes haruhi, they wont be platonic like a father/daughter anymore aka->

>the dynamic is gonna change

>hikaru also likes haruhi

>in this situation, hikaru might care a lot about haruhi and might not take this well especially after "replacing kaoru" (i assumed this is how kaoru feels bc hes later relieved when hikarus w haruhi and he still seeks out kaoru to make sure he's ok)

>this complete dynamic change is going to seperate the host club

>but hikaru seeks him out first after haruhi and hikaru are trapped

>he is sure that the dynamic issues and a group break will happen when the dynamic between haruhi and tamaki change and time passes by (whichever comes first) but so long as he's hikarus first choice he's fine with it

>kaoru assumes tamaki creates a family scenario so everything can be platonic as long as possible, but is shocked to see that tamaki wasnt willingly doing this he was just fucking stupid

>this creates a crack in kaorus way of thinking, his ~deep~ theory is just a conspiracy (that he made up due to anxiety but he doesnt realise it yet)

>hani say "kao and kyo are as oblivious as tamaki" implying that they trust the host club to stay together in face of struggle

ep 25

>the host club is facing the struggles kaoru was scared of and in a sudden, unprepared way. tamaki is leaving (might leave and then leaves), kyoya's family suddenly seems disappointed aka he might pull away from the club entirely, in the end theres a lot of changes in the club. they lose hani and mori first in the battle (graduated), then kyoya isnt coming (pulling out for future plans/family pressure), they are running after tamaki as a trio when hikaru gets hurt.

>in the pumpkin patch when doubt is highest and they are thinking about how this is surely the end, we see haruhis flashback to her dad about not hesitating when the time is right. even though she doesnt have the need to continue, she still does because she /wants/ to. AND she succeeds. this would show kaoru that there is no "spell" or some uncontrollable event that would lead to the end of their friendship, and that he can keep it alive just by working on it

>the fact that the show ended the way it did (with tamaharu happening TO keep the dynamics alive + all members working their hardest just to keep it all going) wouldve been enough to curb kaorus worries because it was physical proof that even when the things that he feared happened the group didnt fall apart and even got stronger

>so he lives through his fears becoming true and it gets resolved symbolically. obv i would want there to be a 40 min episode where kaoru goes to theraphy and resolves his issues including the incest kink but the last few episodes were rushed as fuck

Hi! Never disagree with me about the carriage ever again I'm going to fucking kill you. (<- this is a joke i am joking im not mad at u u are my friend)

I've talked about this before -- about what the last episode symbolizes in terms of the carriage allegory. But it was an old post so many people probably haven't seen it.

To showcase why I disagree we need to first realize what the carriage allegory actually stands for.

In short, the carriage is the anime's way of implementing Kaoru's depression arc from the manga. If you're unaware of that, the tl;dr is very similar to episode 21 just without Cinderella metaphors. Scared Hikaru will leave him, scared he'll lose his friends, etc. Except in the manga, Hikaru and Kaoru actually talk about this, culminating in Hikaru dyeing his hair but reassuring Kaoru they'll always be together.

In my mind, the carriage is obviously a stand-in for this. But... It's also trying to serve to be a plot device to set up the end of the show.

My guess is the creators probably thought Ouran would get a 2nd season but it didn't get greenlit, so they had to wrap things up very suddenly, which is why the ending feels as rushed as it does. This is just a theory though.

The carriage, as it is presented in episode 21, clearly is setting up a major plot point: the dissolve of the host club. And since we as an audience are lead to believe Kaoru's word is to be believed, we're also like "oh, shit, is the host club gonna fall apart?"

cuz keep in mind, through this episode and episode 16, the show presents Kaoru in such a way that makes him seem "smart" and "wise" and that his ideas hold some sort of weight to them.

So, to recap, the carriage allegory in the anime is two things: 1, a character-driven arc about Kaoru's fears and 2, a plot device to set up the ending of the show.

This is where the "resolved" thing gets tricky.

The carriage is resolved on a plot-level. By the carriage hikaru, kaoru, and haruhi were one falling into the pumpkin patch, yet still saving tamaki in the end, shows that even though the "spell" ended, they still managed to get their happy ending. The club did not fall apart.

But, keep in mind, Kaoru's side of this equation -- about the fears of growing up, drifting apart, being different from his brother -- are not touched on.

To say it was resolved because of the pumpkin patch thing I think is just...wrong. At best it's incredibly lazy writing.

Tamaki & Kyoya had character-driven arcs, too. Ones that were presented throughout the whole show. And those actually got resolved in the final episodes. Yes, they were still open-ended endings, but they were acknowledged. That's what I'm pissed off about when it comes to the carriage. It doesn't get fucking acknowledged ever again. Not even a little bit. The best we get is symbolism that only, as I said, solves one half of the puzzle at best.

for further reading here's this post and this post.

#;noxiatalks2ya #carriagecore #now i know you may think i take this too far. too seriously.#but this stupid allegory has ruined my life for the past 2 YEARS.#OF COURSE IM NOT NORMAL ABOUT IT I HATE IT

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