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uglypastels · 4 years

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To the Beat // drummer!Tom 1/2

(a/n) here it is!!! it took about a decade of my life but i think it was worth it also shoutout to @duskholland for hearing out my ideas when i was brainstorming and together with @captainpeggy40 for getting me through my breakdowns while writing. i got it finished!! <3 I really went all out with this fic, so i hope you guys enjoy it!! part 2 will come... sometime this week ;)

word count: 7939 (unnecessary content GALORE)

warning: drinking, swearing, crowded spaces, part 2 contains smut

you can find the band’s setlist here

not all songs are mentioned in the fic but it’s songs that i would really love to see them play haha. if anyone would be interested, i can make a seperate post on how i imagine them playing it (who sings and stuff idk)

Read part 2 here <---> extra headcanons here

With the right stranger, one night can feel like a lifetime.

“Will you please come?” your friend begged you over the phone. “It’s gonna be really fun!”

“You know, you say that a lot, yet I never have as much fun as you promise.” You sat down on your bed, looking out the window as the rain hit every surface outside. It was not exactly the weather you felt like going out in.

“Then that’s on your extremely high expectations, not on me.” She stated, “But pleeease.” She kept on whining, and you knew she wouldn’t stop until you gave in. It always went like this. Always.

“Ugh, fine.” you fell back on the soft mattress, your head only missing the pillow by an inch. “Where is it actually?” There was the question you both dreaded. You, because you knew you wouldn’t like the answer. Her, because she knew you wouldn’t either.

“It’s at Suki’s,” she mumbled, but you could still hear her just fine.

“That’s where you work right- please don’t tell me you’re working tonight?!” you groaned into the phone.

“I am, but I’ll be done around 9.30 I think, so there’s still plenty of time for us to hang out! Besides, you already said yes, and NO TAKE BACKSIES!” she said this all extremely fast and screamed the last two words into your ear. Then, on top of that, hung up as soon as she finished, not giving you even a second to fight back. Not sure what happened, you stared at the black screen of your phone in confusion.

She said the concert started at nine o’clock. Did she really expect you to go to this thing and spend half an hour by yourself? Or did she want you to sit at the bar while she poured drinks for everyone? Either way, none of those options felt appealing. For a solid minute, you contemplated just not going, just… not showing up. Turning off your phone and watching a movie or something at home.

But at the same time, you hadn’t left the house for a long time. And it was Friday night. Why not go out and see some obscure little band. What was their name again? Your friend had mentioned it, but you already forgot. Maybe it was for the better too. That way, you couldn’t look them up beforehand, and if they were shit, you would just find out there and not have another thing to be dreading as you got ready. Or maybe they would be good. Then it would be a pleasant surprise on the spot.

You checked the time. 7:27pm. That gave you about an hour to get ready and then some time to actually get to the bar. Should be doable.

So, you hopped in the shower to get all fresh again. Even if it would all get ruined later on in the night by standing in a sweaty crowd. It’s the effort to look presentable that counts. Then, you picked out an outfit that would be comfortable in the before mentioned crowd. You could never go wrong with the simple jeans and a t-shirt combo.

Looking in the mirror, the thought of Not Going popped up in your mind again. There was nothing really obliging you to go. And the idea of standing there listening to the loud music, whether it was good or not, sounded slightly exhausting.

No, you reminded yourself, it would do you good to leave the house once in a while. Have “fun”. You checked the time once more, 8:14. You had done everything a bit quicker than you expected. The Uber you had arranged for yourself would be there in a few minutes. So, you were stuck in that kind of waiting limbo, sitting on your couch, not sure what to do. Eventually, you put on your shoes and got your keys and were ready to head out.

The drive was quick and thankfully, mostly quiet. It was only a minute or two before you reached your destination that the driver decided to ask you where you were headed.

“Concert,” you said hesitantly. Why did these people always want to know your business? Thankfully, the man didn’t ask much more. And then it was time for you to get out of the car. The drive actually took much less time than you had expected and there was still some time left before the band would start to perform.

Suki’s was a bar downtown, in the basement of some kind of law firm. Their whole thing was that they let new bands and artists play each week so they could get some of the public’s interest going. Make themselves known to the world. It was literally and figuratively, an underground following that it had. Many, but at the same time, nobody knew about it. It was a secret amongst music lovers. Considering the bar wanted to stay its own secret, you never understood the bright neon lights above the entrance, going down the staircase all the way to the actual hall.

The bar itself wasn’t too big. Enough space for a small stage along one wall, a bar on the opposite side, and the rest was space for the crowd to either enjoy or hate the music being played. When you walked in the room was still relatively empty. You saw two guys setting up equipment on stage, you assumed it was the band. Behind them was a black banner with “Winter Solstice” written in scratchy white letters. Between the words, a star that was drawn on in precisely the same rough manner. You had to admit, it was a cool name.

Considering there weren’t many people there yet, you headed for the bar to get yourself a drink before it would be too crowded to even reach the counter. And there stood your friend, behind the bar talking to some guy. They were both laughing at something as you walked up.

“y/n! You came!” you squealed out, “what can I get ya?”

“A beer?” you said it more like a question.

“Coming right up.” And with that, your friend walked off to the tap to pour you your drink. It was more out of reflex when you sat down on the stool, you leaned your head on your hand, but you understood the question from the stranger when he spoke up.

“Not looking forward to it?”

Still with your chin on your knuckles, you turned to face him.

“Huh? Oh no, I mean… she kind of made me come here, but-” you tried not to sound too pessimistic, but the guy saw right through you.

“So, I guess the answer is yes.” He chuckled. Right then, your friend came holding your drink and put it in front of you.

“I’ll put it on your tap.” She was going to join the conversation but right then a group of tonight’s spectators walked up in need of drinks, so she was soon off again.

“I’m not not looking forward to it?” nothing in your voice made it sound like you were sure of yourself, but it was enough for him. You took a sip of your beer, which you could feel helping the situation. While doing that you looked over the brim of the tall glass to look at your conversation partner. Like you, he was drinking a beer himself and considering it was almost empty, he had done that either very fast, or he had been there for a while already.

Next, you took a look at him. From the profile, he looked pretty good. He was wearing a loose tank, showing off his arms. His dark curly hair was held back with a black cap that he wore backwards. What definitely stood out to you was his jawline. It looked like you could cut yourself on it just with the slightest of touches. For everyone’s sake, you quickly turned your gaze over to the extensive liquor collection in front of you. But you could see in the reflection behind the bottles how he was smiling to himself. He definitely saw you stare. This was awkward, and you only got here two minutes ago.

“So, do you know the band?” you asked in the hopes to weed out this weird situation you had created. For some reason, your question made him smile. In that type of way as if you had just mentioned an inside joke. Except you weren’t in on it, so you couldn’t laugh along.

“Yeah, they’re alright.” He shrugged. Then, as if he suddenly remembered something, he shot up straight in his seat. “I’m Tom, by the way.”

“y/n.” Then you remembered how your friend practically screamed out your name when you walked in, “but you already knew that.” Your phone vibrated with a text, so you took it out and immediately saw the time, it was already past nine. You looked over at the stage where the two guys were trying to untangle some chords. Clearly, it wasn’t starting anytime soon.

“What kind of music do they play?” You asked Tom while still looking at the band trying to get ready.

“A bit of everything, I suppose.”

You bit your cheek not to say anything that might come off rude, but he could still read you.

“I guess that wasn’t the right answer?” He raised an eyebrow.

“I just hoped to get something more specific, but as long as they’re good, I’ll enjoy it.” You took another sip of your beer as an excuse to shut up. He must think you’re such a bitch at this point. You saw him glance over your shoulder at the stage and then smile at you.

“I like you.” there was that chuckle of his again, “I’ll see you later, then.” And he got up. You were gonna ask why later? Why couldn’t you hang out now? You didn’t like to admit it, but you enjoyed his company, even though it was only brief and most of the time you spent it making yourself look like a moron. As superficial it made you sound, you simply enjoyed the presents of a good looking guy like him.

You were going to ask him, but he quickly disappeared into the crowd that started to form along the foot of the stage. More and more people were coming and joining in. The two guys from the band had finally untangled their chords and were placing their guitars over their shoulders, and plugged them into the amplifiers. That’s when you noticed that a spot was empty on the stage. The big drum set had no occupant yet.

So, while everyone waited for the drummer to show up, you took this time to look at the other two band members, trying to decide which one was the cuter one.

That turned out to be slightly more difficult of a task, you quickly realised. Though they were both very different, they were both also extremely good looking. There was the blonde, strumming a few simple chords on his guitar to warm up. Even in the dim light, you could see how perfectly chiselled his face was. He was wearing a slightly oversized button-up shirt with about half of the buttons open. The skinny jeans didn’t seem comfortable to you, but he made them work. The rings on his fingers reflected in the lights as he kept on strumming.

The other had a bit more of a playful vibe around him. His curly mop of hair bounced with every move he made. You could hear his loud and contagious laugh all the way from the other side of the room without the need for a microphone. His outfit was something completely different compared to the blonde. It consisted of a baggy t-shirt (that you could read the band logo on), with ripped dungarees that were only attached on one side. He had rolled them up, showing off his bright converse. His bass guitar was currently hanging behind his back as he adjusted the mic stand one last time. There was something familiar about him, though you were sure had never seen him before.

Then finally, a third person joined them. People cheered since it meant that they could finally start playing. You tried to get a good look at him before he hid behind the drum set. Hair was hiding beneath a cap, tank top… wait… was it-

You got up and walked through the audience. There weren’t that many people, so it was reasonably easy to get to the front. Or, almost at the front row, standing right in front of them felt a bit intimidating. Now you could see all three of them much better, and there was no denying it. Your new acquaintance Tom was the drummer. And when you looked over at the curly bassist again, you realised why he looked so familiar. It was not an identical resemblance, but there was enough that made you think they were related somehow.

You watched Tom spin one of his drumsticks in his hand. He had the biggest smile on his face, then he caught your eye and winked. The cheeky bastard knew exactly what he was doing, you were sure of it. He was waiting for your surprised reaction, and you fell for it completely—hook, line and sinker.

The curly one got up to his microphone. “Hey everybody, we’re Winter Solstice,” his voice was much deeper than you had expected. Especially, considering that he actually looked younger than the other two, you noticed. “We thought you’d appreciate some more known songs tonight, so join in whenever.”

Alright, they were gonna do covers. That was not a wrong move at all. A lot of bands want to show off their own music, but most of the time that leaves the audience just swaying awkwardly because they don’t know the lyrics or what to expect.

“Here’s one you all should know.”

The blonde started playing his guitar, and it only took a second or two before everyone realised what song it was. Mr Brightside. It sounded a bit different, as their attempt to make the song their own, but the riff was unmistakably Mr Brightside. Everyone around you immediately cheered and started to dance along, waiting to sing the lyrics. You were too, of course, but all you could think about was Tom playing in the back. He looked so focused, but still didn’t let it sit in the way of enjoying the song.

In the song, the drums probably only started a beat before the lyrics, so you missed out on the first few words, but quickly you were singing too.

“But she’s touching his chest now, he takes off her dress now. Let me gooo,” the blonde guitarist sang. His voice wasn’t perfect, it was rough, some might have called it cursive, but in that right sort of way. It fit well with the rest of the band and how they played. In just a minute, they had gotten the entire room hyped up. Everyone was into it. Maybe it was because of the song choice, but you doubted it. A song like that can be tricky to sing to a new crowd. If you screwed it up, they’d hate you forever.

That was definitely not the case here, they had the crowd in the palms of their hands. With each beat, you were pulled in…or, was that just you?

The second verse started, and it was the bassist that began to sing: “I'm coming out of my cage, and I've been doing just fine-” There was no clear description of his voice. At least you couldn’t really pinpoint it. There was definitely that playfulness in it that he had been showing through everything he did. He couldn’t stay still, jumping in place, making his curls bump up and down as he went.

“It was only a kiss”

It was Tom that said the little interjection in the song. You had only looked his way at the end, while the other was already singing, but you felt as if he had been looking at you directly. No, he wasn’t. Why would he? You shook the thought off and continued enjoying the performance of the three men. You sang along just like everyone else.

And then the song ended. It was almost unbelievable that it had only been one song that they played, but they moved on to the next quickly.

The guitar faded out but came straight back, accompanied by a heavy bass line. Some people around you recognised the melody, but it took you a moment or two. Then it went quiet. The blonde leaned into his microphone, whispering the words.

“I’m the invisible man,” guitar riff “I’m the invisible man,” guitar, “Incredible how you can- see right through me!” His voice got louder as Tom joined in with the drums. Then those few seconds of bass followed which actually sent shivers up your spine. To put it simply, you were a sucker for good bass and beat. But what was it about them that sounded so good? You couldn’t think of anything particular that would have set them apart from all the other artists you had seen perform in the club through the years…

Still, seeing them have so much fun on stage, it was truly intoxicating, you wanted to join them. You couldn’t remember the last time you had seen someone jump around on that little stage while playing bass. You couldn’t wait to find out what their names were, but for now, “the curly bassist” didn’t take a second to stand still. The only time he stood in one spot was when he had to sing, and even then he moved around a lot.

The others didn’t have that same luxury. Of course, Tom did not have a lot of options, sitting behind his drum set. Yet still, he managed to light up the stage with his bright smile and the passion he put into his drumming. Any time you looked at him, you didn’t want to look away- which was hard, considering that the other two were also a great joy to watch.

The blonde, in his turn, stayed on his side of the stage, being somewhat stuck with his microphone since he had the most vocals. But he still had a great connection with the audience, you felt like.

Before you knew it, the second song had also come to an end. Cheers and applause erupted in front of the band, with you contributing to it as well, of course.

“Thank you, thank you,” the bassist took a little bow. Even though they weren’t playing any song, he still slapped one of the strings mindlessly. “Like I said, we’re Winter Solstice. My name’s Harry.” He introduced himself. Finally, you could call him something else than the curly bassist. Even though it was a very catchy nickname, you thought yourself.

“Here on the guitar,” Harry pointed out, “Is my good friend Harrison.” Harrison waved to the crowd, receiving screams from the audience as if it was filled with banshees.

“In the back,” Tom immediately started a soft drum roll, but Harry didn’t wait that long, “that’s Tom.” Tom reacted with a face that could only be described as “bruh”, making several people around you laugh. You wondered if it was rehearsed or if this was just how they were. Either way, it was cute.

Harry talked some more about how they were excited to play tonight, but you were looking at Tom. You watched him grab a water bottle and drink half of it in almost one chug. When he pulled it away from his mouth, you saw that he caught you staring. Even though you were between dozens of people, even though the light that was shining in his face- he saw you. And he winked again. In the next moment, you had to think if the heat burning through your body was an effect of that little gesture or because of how warm it was in the room. For your own sake, you went with the second option.

“Alright, here’s another song for you all,” it was a voice you hadn’t heard speak before. Harrison. “Here’s: You Oughta Know.” There was a mixed reaction from the audience, including you. Of course, you knew the Alanis Morisette song, but you had never heard it be played by men. It was definitely an interesting choice for them to play, especially after the Killers and Queen.

“I want you to know that I am happy for you,” it was Tom that started singing, as he drummed softly. You tried to control your thoughts as he kept on singing. Then the pre-chorus began, and you were shocked at how well they harmonised.

“Cause the love that you gave that we made wasn't able to make it enough for you to be open wide.” It actually gave you chills. How were you so excited about listening to three strangers sing?

At the chorus itself, everyone in the room went wild, singing along loudly. It was clear that the people were sold on this new version of the song. It was all fine. You were enjoying the show. It was actually fun. And then, Tom sang the next line-

“It was a slap in the face. How quickly I was replaced. And are you thinking of me when you fuck her?” It sure was a slap in the face. You had to remind yourself that it was just the lyrics of the song. And he was just a guy on stage that you had only exchanged a few words with prior. Yet, you couldn’t focus on anything from that moment on. You could barely comprehend their version of “Are You Gonna Be My Girl”, not even really understanding that they were playing a different song. It was just a big blur. But maybe it was for the better, because could you really cope with Tom singing the titular phrase of the song in that husky way that he did... debatable.

When you woke up from your daze, Tom had stood up to show the crowd the beat to clap to. You joined in before anyone noticed how far out of it you indeed were. Harrison finished the song off with a falsetto and then it was already time for the next song.

This time you knew what to do. You wanted to record at least some part of the show. And when harry started a bass solo, you made sure to get at least a bit of it and continued filming from there, ready to post it on your Instagram later on. Harrison joined in with the guitar, and you actually had no idea what song they were playing. More people didn’t seem to recognise the song immediately, which visibly amused the musicians. They couldn’t hide their grins even behind the microphones. Once again, the harmonies… how did they sound so good?

As the song continued, the more sure you were that you had heard it before, but it must have been very different from the original. No, actually… How did you not recognise Dua Lipa? It was not hard to forget about the original when you got to listen to this version. How had each song so far been this good, you still didn’t understand. You didn’t want it to end.

But unfortunately, right after that, they took another break from singing.

“Alright!” Harrison cheered (more squeals from his side of the audience followed. Apparently he had started to gain quite the following). “The next song is another classic, I like to think.” People whooed. “So we’d like some help from you guys if that’s okay.” The crowd seemed to be into it, so Tom followed with the instructions.

“Okay, so we’re gonna start playing in a sec, and Harry will sing a little melody. Just copy that, and we’ll be on our way.” In the meantime, Harry had gone off stage to grab a bottle of water, so everyone had to wait for a second. This gave Tom the opportunity to freestyle on his drum set. It was a simple beat, but it progressed into a more complex set. He, however, did it effortlessly.

Finally, Harry came back running, he threw bottles to the other two, which they both caught without a problem. Tom started to press the bass drum steadily, layering more on top of it. Then Harry joined with the bass, and ultimately, Harrison’s guitar finished it off. Harry leaned into the microphone.

“Ooooo-ooo-oo-oo, ooooo-ooo-oo-oo, oooo-oo-oo,” he almost whistled, but not quite. He continued a few times, together with Tom and Harrison until everyone in the room was singing along. Then made that kind of gesture to show you had to stop. Harrison sang the verse. Anytime it was your turn, you’d just follow Harry.

You had been to many concerts, but not many new bands had much luck in getting a full crowd to participate in the song. But by the way they played, everyone just wished they could be in the band, playing along with them. Even if it was just dangling the triangle. You, however, didn’t want that, necessarily. You assumed that it was the fact that you hadn’t been out of the house in so long, that now that you had the chance, everything felt hundred times more great. So a concert that was already amazing, suddenly felt like a euphoric, once in a lifetime, experience… though that might go a bit too far. And it for sure helped that all three band members were hot. Like, really really hot.

Literally, too, the room was getting really warm at this point, and the guys were visibly hot also. It didn’t stop them from performing at 110% though. A few songs more passed by and Harry was still jumping around the stage. Harrison sang every note perfectly as he slew that guitar of his and Tom…

You could barely look at Tom. Playing the drums as hectically (in the good sense) as he did, you thought he would be exhausted by now. But he still had that big perfect smile on his face. The sweat was dripping down his arms, but it just highlighted his biceps, making it very hard for you to concentrate on the music. And then, no matter what he was doing, he would find you in the crowd and smirk or wink, making you even more flustered than you were before. The first time, you thought he was doing it to someone else. But then it happened again, and again. And the beat of drums led your heart. You could feel it in your throat as it kept pumping with the loud music.

It was during their little break which they used to goof around and play the intro of “Chelsea Dagger”, that you decided to go back to the bar. Your friend had said she wouldn’t leave you alone for the entirety of the concert, but you were already quite some songs in and there was still no sign of her. And you quickly realised why that was. Since the show had started, the entire room had filled up with people. You had never seen it be so crowded, in fact. And then the bar was packed with people asking for their drinks.

Your friend was indeed there, with another bartender, doing her best to pour the drinks quickly. But more and more people got thirsty, so it was easy to assume you would have to spend the rest of the night alone as well.

By that time, the band started on the next song of their setlist, and you really thought they were playing one big joke on you. Or at least this Tom guy was. As he loudly sang Sex on Fire, by Kings of Leon, you decided to sit this one song out from the front row and stay back, near the bar. It actually did you well, because it was much less hot than upfront. You could just stay there for the rest of the show. They had been through around ten songs already, so they must be done soon, either way, you thought.

And you were right. Ending with Come Together, the applause was bigger than through the entire night. The boys finished with extended solo’s of their respective instruments and a bow, and it was really over. Harry came up to the microphone one last time as the other two were already getting off stage.

“Thank you! We are Winter Solstice! Buy our merch at the door! GOODNIGHT!”

The idea of buying a t-shirt was pretty fun. And apparently, you weren’t the only one who thought that. Far from it, actually, The line at the little merch booth quickly exceeded the length of the small concert hall. You wondered if they even had enough things to sell. Would it even be worth it to stand in line? You just waited for the stream of new fans to cool down.

Eventually, it did. Slowly, but surely, the line got shorter. You also noticed that there were a few people that had the exact same idea as you had, so you joined the queue before the rest could. You didn’t even have to wait that long. Before you knew it, you were standing at the little table. There were piles of t-shirts and cd’s, and there were more boxes behind the table too. They really came prepared. Harrison had just been folding up an empty box when you walked up.

“Hi. Can I get a (your size)” you asked, already pulling out your card to pay, “and a CD?”

“Yeah, of course,” Harry grabbed a shirt for you with a smile. Tom had been talking to the girl that had been in line in front of you, but he quickly turned to look at you when he heard your voice.

“y/n!” He finished the conversation with the other girl before moving over to join his bandmate.

“Hey,” you wish it hadn’t been so, but a lot changed since the first time you spoke to him, let it only have been about an hour. There was something about him being in the band you just watched perform and buying his merch, that made you feel like a little school girl standing next to him.

“I thought you had left.” He noticed you leave? Not the point.

“No, I just went to the back. It was getting a bit hot for me upfront.”

“Ah,” he nodded. “Did you enjoy the show then?”

“Yes!” you said, a bit too loud, “You guys were great.” You looked at the CD that Harry had just handed you and smiled. “And I was wondering if you could maybe sign this for me?” Out of nowhere, Harrison appeared behind Tom, grabbing the CD from your hands and putting his signature right at the centre of the packaging. Just as quickly as he appeared, he went back to whatever he was doing before. But not without sending you a wink first. What was it with these guys and winking? Not that you really minded it.

Harry took the slightly more polite approach, waiting for you to hand him the CD and he signed it above Harrison’s signature. Then he handed it over, together with the marker, to Tom.

“So, we got ourselves a number one fan, huh?”

“No, I’ll just wait ‘til you guys get famous so I can sell it on the internet and get rich.” That was probably not the response Tom had expected, which you immensely enjoyed. Next to him, Harry erupted in a fit of laughter.

“Haz, did you hear that? She thinks we’ll be famous.” His laugh was even better close up. While Harry and Harrison kept on laughing, you used the moment to speak to Tom, one on one.

“So why didn’t you tell me you were in the band?” you asked.

“What does it matter,” he chuckled.

“You let me ask all those questions about the band, it’s fucking embarrassing, man.” you couldn’t help but laugh yourself.

“Heh, sorry.” he took off his cap to rearrange his hair since some of it had fallen in his eyes through the night. You didn’t know what else to say, so the conversation died down. Then you remembered that there was still a bit of a line behind you of people that wanted to buy the merch as well.

“Let me just pay for these, and I’ll be off.”

“No, it’s fine, on the house,” Tom said. You looked at him with wide eyes.

“Are you sure? It’s really no problem.”

“Yeah, just promise me one thing.”

“What?” You raised an eyebrow, not sure what to expect. You didn’t want to jump onto that wagon too quickly.

“Will you stay? I’d really like to hang out.”

You weren’t sure what to answer at first. You did want to stay and talk to him, but it was getting late, and you had been standing for a long time, and you were kinda gross from how warm it was during the concert… but Tom was really hot. And he asked so nicely.

“Sure.” you gave in. “I’ll hang out with my friend at the bar and let ya get back to-” you pointed around the table to make your point across. He nodded and waved you goodbye as you walked away, clutching on to your newly bought merchandise.

Just like you thought, your friend was indeed still at the bar, cleaning up leftover glasses from the counter. She saw you walk over and you could tell she saw something different in you.

“Look at you beaming, girl! What happened?” she put away the half-dried glass to listen to you.

“Nothing?” you said casually. She saw right through you though, so you just decided to give up the little act. “Tom asked me to wait behind for him.” You bit your lip, expecting to get a lecture from her. But none of that happened. Instead, she squealed out in, what seemed like, excitement.

“Ooh, Tom is such a great guy!”

“You know him?” you asked, surprised.

“Well, he was the one that got their band the gig here, so we talked here and there, mostly planning,” she explained. “And I mean, look at him.” she sighed and her eyes glazed over a bit when she looked in the direction of the merch table. Not sure what else to do, you followed her action and glanced over. Of course, right at that time, Tom decided to look in your direction as well. He smiled and waved lightly, making your cheeks heat up and quickly look away. Your friend, however, waved back enthusiastically.

“So you think it’s safe for me-” what were you even gonna ask her?

“Go have fun, I say. But if anything does happen, remember the codeword?” Her tone changed to a more serious one, which you appreciated. You had agreed ages ago on a codeword to use. In case a date turned for the worst, or generally if something felt off.

“Broccoli, baby. I know.”

“Broccoli.” She held up her hand for a high five, which you gladly accepted.

You chatted for a little bit longer. Every few minutes tho, you’d be sure to glance over your shoulder to see if the merch line was getting any shorter. It didn’t seem like it. There was simply no end to it. You felt yourself getting frustrated. To the point that your friend actually pointed it out, snorting from holding in her laughter.

“He has got you whipped, hasn’t he?” she bumped your shoulder playfully. All you did was roll your eyes. Which, actually, said everything she needed to know. He did, didn’t he? You always had a soft spot for musicians, dated a few. But comparing them to Tom now… it felt like a joke. There was something about this guy that made you want to know more about him. You wanted to see him play and sing again. You wanted- do a lot of things. But you had to get that out of your head. Let the night speak for itself, see where it leads you. If it would be his bedroom… that would be fine. Just fine.

You knew you were crazy for thinking all of this, but a girl can dream, right?

You looked across the room and were glad to see that there were only a few people left. Harry had already started packing everything up that would most likely not be sold that night. You watched the three of them make some small chat with the people walking by, but all your real focus was on Tom and his deep stare right at you. It made your heart beat faster. With his arms across his chest, the muscles seemed even more prominent.

He was suddenly pulled back into the conversation, and it was as if he changed into a different person. All bubbly, none of that- what even was it that he looked at you? You decided to not think about it too much. One does not do well when dwelling about anything.

Finally, the last person bought their shirt, and they were done. Hoping it didn’t make you look too desperate, you didn’t waste a second to walk over to them. Harrison and Tom were helping Harry pack up the rest of the things that were left on the table.

“Hey,” you said awkwardly. Tom almost dropped the stack of shirts he was holding. Again, the attention fell to his arms. You had to force yourself to look up at his face, which didn’t help much either, but it made it easier to think thoughts that would not mean a one-way ticket to Hell.

“Hi! I’m so glad you stayed,” he said after putting those shirts in the box. “I thought we could go grab something to eat. I don’t know about you, but I’m starving.” He spoke really fast, just showing how excited he was to talk to you again. To be honest, you weren’t necessarily hungry, but going out to eat with Tom didn’t sound too bad.

“Don’t you have to pack up?” You pointed back to the stage that still counted all of their equipment.

“No, we’re playing here tomorrow, again,” Harrison explained.

“Oh, cool.” Was all you said. It was cool, you just didn’t know how to say anything without sounding dumb.

“Well, shall we? There’s a diner on the way to my flat. It has the best burgers.” Tom exclaimed. You ignored the little mention of his apartment and focused on the burgers. He wasn’t suggesting for you to come over to his place. It was just a fact… right?

“Lead the way,” you told him, but before you left, you turned to the other two members of Winter Solstice. “It was nice meeting you guys.” Everyone waved, and so on, and you were off to eat.

It was almost midnight by the time you got there, but the diner Tom had mentioned did advertise as a 24/7. And it held up. When you walked in, you were practically hit in the face with the delicious smell of pie. You sat down in a booth next to the large window and very soon after a waitress walked up.

“What can I get ya?” she asked, flipping her little notebook open.

“I’ll have a cheeseburger and fries, thanks,” Tom asked. Then it was your turn.

“Just large fries for me, thank you.” The waitress wrote it all down, then continued to ask if you wanted anything to drink.

“Ooh, do you have milkshakes?” The woman smiled and nodded. “So a chocolate milkshake then.” You ordered.

“Make it two,” Tom added. Then the waitress went off, Tom leaned on the table toward you, with his hands in front of him. “So, just fries, huh?”

“I’m not super hungry, and I wasn’t going to steal your fries,” you explained, making Tom laugh and shake his head.

“You’re interesting, you know that?”

“I like to think so, yeah,” you answered straightforwardly. It was a pity you had not gotten your drinks yet, or you would have taken a very nonchalant sip. You leaned your chin on your hand, just like you did at the bar before the show. Except for this time, there was a smile hiking up the corners of your mouth. Tom mirrored your position.

“So how did you guys come up with the name?” you had been wondering that ever since you saw that banner hanging on the stage. It was always interesting to find out the thinking process like.

“You gotta ask Harry, he came up with it one day, and we just went along. He’s the more artistic one of the bunch.” Of course he is. Well, that didn’t answer anything then. But another question popped up in your mind.

“Are you guys related?”

Tom smiled at that question. “Yeah, Harry is my younger brother. Harrison has been my best mate ever since I can remember. We’ve always been close and messing around. Then one day we decided to grab some old instruments from the attic and- sorry, I’m probably boring you, aren’t I?” He took off his cap again and ruffled his hair. You thought he would put it back on, but he left it on the table. There was pretty good lighting at Suki’s, but the colourful spotlights were no match to the bright LEDs of the diner.

“I don’t see how you thought that was boring,” you assured him. You truly enjoyed his little story, talking about his friend and brother. You had doubted the choice of going out to eat so late at night with a stranger, but now the reason was apparent. He didn’t want to be strangers-he wanted to get to know you. And you wanted to get to know him.

The waitress came back with two large milkshakes, topped with whipped cream and syrup. She said that the food would be ready in a few more minutes and left you to continue your conversation. You nudged Tom on to go on where he stopped previously.

“So yeah,” he cleared his throat, “we played and thought, hey that doesn’t sound shit, and we practised for a few months and decided some time ago, why not try and play.”

“Was this your first gig?” you asked in disbelief. He shook his head, though.

“We’ve performed a few times, but this was the first one that felt… real, you know. Maybe it was just me, but I felt this great connection with the crowd, and it felt great.” You nodded along with every word, without realising that you had been getting lost in his eyes. He had been looking into yours as he spoke about that connection, and it made you feel that maybe, just maybe, he meant you specifically.

“y/n?” He eventually asked, waking you up. You almost spilt your milkshake from the abrupt movement you made as you tried to sit up.

“What? Sorry.” You held the glass until it didn’t shake.

“I asked if you enjoyed it? The show?”

“Didn’t you ask that already?” Stupid way to answer! “But yeah, I loved it. You were really great- I mean, all of you.” but especially you, you wanted to add on, but that felt like going too far. As you were trying to come up with a normal-sounding answer there, Tom sipped from his milkshake. Something in his eyes told you that he could tell what you wanted to say, and that thought scared you a little bit. All you wanted to do was to give this hot guy a good impression of yourself, was that really that hard?

But he didn’t say anything about it. Just continued the conversation as you hoped he would.

“Well, I’m glad. Honestly, you had scared me a bit back then, when you left,” he admitted. And there were the heart palpitations again, beating faster and faster. You grabbed the cold milkshake because you could feel yourself getting hotter.

“How so?” you choked out.

“Just because I could tell you weren’t exactly looking forward to the show, and then I saw you leave and didn’t come back. I thought you didn’t like us.” Us. He said “us”. Then we did it feel like he just wanted to say “me”?

“I wanted to check up on my friend, and then I realised that it was much colder in the back, so I stayed there.” you explained again, “But why be worried about me, there were plenty of other people enjoying themselves.”

He was about to answer when the waitress walked up with two large plates. She put them on the table with a smile, which you noticed was more directed towards Tom than you. He responded with a tight smile himself, but only shortly, turning back to you quickly to respond to your question.

“No one there was as cute as you.”

“What?” This time you made sure not to make any sudden movements to save your food and drink on the table. Did he really say that? But he didn’t clarify himself, he just smirked, enjoying your flushed expression a little too much. He put a fry in his mouth and still ate it with that smug smirk. You just went and ate some of your own fries, avoiding eye contact with him. You just needed a second to sort your thoughts.

That second lasted a little longer, but at least you had the food to use as an excuse to avoid “awkward silence”.

“So do you play any instruments?” he asked. You looked up to see that he had almost finished his burger. When you saw the dish being brought up, you thanked yourself and any god watching out there that you didn’t choose to order one. It was absolutely massive, meaning you would make a complete mess out of yourself—a sight for no one to see but your tv screen on a lonely night.

“Uh, I can play a few notes on the piano but all very beginner's level.” You dipped a fry in your milkshake.

“Like what?” He seemed genuinely interested.

“Uhm.. the Flintstones theme song, for one. There was more, but I haven’t played in ages, so I doubt I remember anything.”

“Flintstones, huh, nice.” He took the last bite of his burger. Knowing how weird it is to look at someone when they’re eating, you looked out the window for a second. It was dark outside, and the rain had come back, letting all the street lights reflect in the asphalt.

You both finished the remains of your fries and milkshakes while making some more small talk. You got up simultaneously from the booth. Was it over now? You hoped not. You didn’t want to say goodbye.

You grabbed your things while Tom paid for the food. Then you realised he had left his cap on the table so grabbed it too. But your hands were already full, so you decided to just put it on. Backwards, just like he had been wearing it through the evening.

“It looks good on you,” he commented when you met at the door.

“Thanks,” there was the heat up your cheeks again. “And thank you for everything else, I had a really great night.” you were about to take the hat off to give it back, but he stopped you.

“It doesn’t have to end here, darling.”

To be continued...

> Thank you for reading!! I hope you enjoyed

> please leave a comment or ask with your thoughts. i love reading them and let me know if you want to be tagged in part 2!

>masterlist and link to taglist in bio

tagging:

@definitely-not-black-cat @artemisiaarm @nerdyhockeygirl @miraclesoflove @justasmisunderstoodasloki @thefridgeismybestie @m19friend @creative-happenings @parker-holland-osterfield @fanficparker @fanficscuziranout @peterparkoure @xxtomxo @happywolves81 @captainbuckyy @tra-gicx @qxeen-of-hearts @varshavisuu @kangaroobunny @petersunderoos96 @the-lost-fairy-tale @nerd-domland @sleepybesson @rissa067 @the-queen-procrastinator @scarletteclipze @screeching-student-unknown @tomhollanders2013 @miraclesoflove @playinonaloop @queenoflostspirits @roses-hxlland @hereiamhereigo @sunnydays0803 @averyfosterthoughts @moorehollandplz @beiroviski @you-bleed-just-toknowyouarealive @peterparkerbabyyy @multifandomlover21 @lmaotshollandd @badbitchydecisions @tikapollak @starkeybabie @awesomehritz @madzleigh01 @oh-what a beautiful-parker @taciturnspidey @quaksonhehe @mountainsforwords @harryfobter @peepeeparkerr @viagracex @ethereal-beauty-p @perspectiveparker @slytherin-chaser @worldoftom @moonysoftt @peeterparkr @wazzupmrstark @saintlavrents @peachybloomss @blissfulparker @chloecreatesfictions @fallinfortom @londonspidey @spidey-reids-2003 @hollandcreep

#tom holland #tom holland fic #tom holland fanfic #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland imagine #tom holland au #band!au #drummer!tom holland #smut #tom holland smut #strangers to lovers #au

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ryosei-hime · 3 years

Text

Date Night

Continuation of Personal Space. Husk spends the day getting ready for his date with Angel and the rest of the night being a mess. Can also be found over on AO3.

Husk groaned as he rolled off the sofa in the foyer, bottles clattering as he disturbed them. He dragged a paw down his face before a huge yawn escaped. A sound of agony followed as he stretched his back, every vertebrae popping and shifting. That damn thing was not meant for sleeping on. A feather floated down to the floor and he followed it’s trajectory back to the sofa to find more littering the cushions. Oh, great, molting. That’s what he needed.

He checked his phone for the time and saw a message from Angel. It was a picture of him splayed out on the sofa with his mouth open, a bottle clutched in one hand, and a leg over the back. He’d captioned it “Sleeping Beauty” followed by one of those winking kissy faces.

Husk rolled his eyes as he picked himself up off the ground. If he found that damn thing on his social media, he’d kill him. Nobody had any damn privacy anymore. He texted back a threat and searched around his empties for any remnants - hair of the dog and all - until a static-filled voice interrupted him.

“Good afternoon, Husker.”

“Yeah, what’d you want?”

“Simply passing through, my friend.”

Husk’s lip curled. Every time Alastor called him friend it caused a visceral reaction. Fuckin asshole. He’d rather the fucker just treat their relationship as it was instead of trying to paint a polite picture. You could put lipstick on a pig but it was still a fuckin pig.

“But good luck on your little date tonight.”

Alastor’s smile turned sharper and his eyes more sinister. God dammit, Angel. Couldn’t he keep his fuckin mouth shut? Husk just gave Alastor the finger as he moved on with his day. He checked to make sure Angel hadn’t blabbed about this anywhere else. But it must have just been good old fashioned word of mouth.

Actually, he’d barely posted at all today which was weird for Angel. Probably knew he couldn’t keep his mouth shut if he did. Husk sighed and dragged himself to his room. He had a few hours to get himself together enough for this. Plenty of time to go over everything that would go wrong in minute detail.

It was Nifty who helped him get ready. Of course, she knew, too. Whole damn hotel knew. She insisted on helping him get dressed up in an old suit and tie. He didn’t see the need to bother. Wasn’t like he wore clothes regularly and they wouldn’t be on him long.

But it made Nifty happy to get him ready, giving him advice so fast he couldn’t take half of it in even if he’d wanted to. He smiled at her as she fixed his tie and stood back with her hands on her hips.

“You look great! Angel’s gonna love it. I’m so excited for you!”

“At least someone is,” Husk muttered, resisting the urge to loosen the tie a bit.

“Aren’t you excited?”

“Ah, I’m no good at this stuff. You know that.”

“Don’t worry! Just let Angel help you. He’s great at it.” She started dusting Husk’s own fur off his suit as it shed, her efforts only making it worse. “And he really likes you!”

“Yeah, I know,” Husk replied. “Thanks Nifty.”

Nifty gave him a big hug and he returned it gently. Her slight frame made him extra careful with her.

“I have to get back to cleaning, but I hope you enjoy your date!”

“Yeah. I’ll try.”

He raised a hand in a slight wave as she hurried off. He decided to spend the rest of the day waiting for Angel at the bar. That turned out to be a mistake. Everyone had something to say. They wished him luck. They cooed and sighed like it was some big fuckin show. Their words were supportive but somehow they only made Husk more nervous, maybe even a little bitter. This shit seemed so easy for everyone else.

It had been easy for him once, too.

Eventually the foyer emptied out as it got late. Husk knew Angel would be returning for him any minute. He finally had to loosen the tie around his neck and decided to fix himself a drink to calm his nerves, but just as he reached under the bar, the doors opened.

His wings lifted slightly as Angel made his entrance. Husk wasn’t the only one who’d gotten dressed up. Angel’d gotten his hair done or some kind of extensions or something. Fuck if Husk knew. He wore a strapless pink number, the skirt covered with some kinda fake flower and vine decorations. Looked like it was supposed to be a train, but he was too tall for it to do much but brush the floor as he approached. Husk actually thought he looked beautiful all dolled up like that. Maybe he should tell him. Instead, what came out of his mouth was:

“What’re we going to the fuckin prom?”

“I dunno. Will you be doin’ my taxes when we’re done?” Angel shot back with a grin.

He reached across the bar and fixed his tie. Dammit, he’d choke to death before he got through this night. Angel didn’t release his tie right away. He used it to pull him closer for a quick kiss.

“Ready?”

No.

“Yeah, sure.”

Husk came out from behind the bar and let Angel take his arm. He had no idea where they were going, but he just let Angel take the lead. Like Nifty had said, he was good at this. When they arrived at their destination, Husk was a little grateful she’d insisted on dressing him up. Angel had chosen some high end, classy joint.

They got a lot of stares on the way to their table. He knew Angel was the center of attention wherever he went, but he didn’t like being caught in the crossfire of all those lustful gazes. A growl sounded low in his chest before he could stop it, his teeth bared. The stares become a little less overt.

Angel put a hand on his shoulder.

“Don’t scare my fans, Husk. I’m used to it.”

“Well, I’m not. People need to mind their own fuckin business.”

Without thinking about it, Husk pulled a chair out for Angel. At least he remembered something from the old days.

“Whatta gentleman,” Angel joked, batting his lashes at him as he sat.

Husk gave his chair a rough shove up to the table, taking his own with a grumble. When he looked up, Angel had his chin on his hands, fingers laced to make a cradle, staring at him with such a soft look it took Husk’s breath away. He made himself busy with the menu. As the waiter approached, Angel sat up suddenly.

“Oh, I forgot. This place is Italian. Like Italian Italian. But I can order for ya, if ya want.”

Angel looked quite proud of himself and Husk hated to burst his bubble.

“I got it.”

He gave the waiter his order in perfect Italian and looked back to Angel as the waiter turned to him. Angel stared at him in shock for a moment before stumbling through his own order. He waited until the waiter had disappeared before going off.

“You know Italian? Holy shit, Husk! I been dirty talkin ya all this time at the bar and you knew?!”

Husk hid his smirk behind his menu, trying not to laugh. Angel pushed it away and stared him down, motioning with two fingers between them.

“You look at me, look at me!”

Husk looked up, still grinning. Angel’s face had gone stern, and he held his gaze for a moment before simply uttering,

“You bastard.”

Husk let himself laugh a little and teased him.

“You get real creative when you’re drunk, you know that?”

Angel just smirked and crossed his second set of arms while another hand brought a glass of wine up to his cheek.

“Well, I guess you know what you got to look forward to then, donchya?”

The conversation during dinner remained light-hearted and Angel kept reaching out for Husk’s paw, making eyes at him. He avoided making direct eye contact, insides churning every time Angel tried. Once their plates were taken away, Angel stood and held a hand out to him.

“Can I get a dance before we go?”

Husk felt a little more confident as he put a paw in his hand. Dancing was something he knew he could do at least. He smiled back at him.

“Sure.”

He let Angel draw him out onto the dance floor and pull him into a waltzing position. His extra hands found a place to rest on Husk’s hips as they began to move. Angel took the lead, but Husk had expected as much with the height difference. He wouldn’t let Angel know, but he was surprised he knew how to waltz. It seemed a bit old-fashioned for him. Or at least for how he tended to present himself. It was easy to forget he was from an older era than he was.

“Thank you.”

Husk looked up and felt all the air rush out of his lungs again. Angel gazed down at him with such a genuine look of gratitude. If he didn’t stop stealing his breath, he’d never make it through this night.

“A bet’s a bet,” he repeated.

“You didn’t have to go on a date with me, but ya did. I really appreciate that. It’s nice.”

Husk closed their stance and pressed his forehead against Angel’s shoulder in response. Angel’s secondary arms held him close, his other hands sliding softly over his shoulders and down his arms. Husk turned his face in towards Angel’s neck instinctually. Everything felt so warm and comforting in this moment. Husk had to say something to break the spell before he started purring and embarrassed himself.

“You’re payin’ right? Cause I can’t afford this shit on my salary.”

“Don’t worry. I gotchya, babe,” Angel replied. “The least I can do is buy ya dinner first.”

Husk pulled back and a hand found his cheek as Angel leaned down to kiss him softly. Then again, a bit harder, staring at him through half-lidded eyes. Husk had to close his, but his paws slid up Angel’s back to grip his shoulders as he reciprocated. Angel broke the kiss and lowered his lips to Husk’s ear, brushing over the hairs at the tip for a moment, sending a thrill through his whole body.

“Let’s get outta here.”

Husk just nodded his agreement as Angel moved towards the table to pay, his hand sliding off Husk’s shoulder as he went. Husk loosened his tie as he focused on breathing. Fuck. This was happening. Shit. Fuck. As he panicked, a feather slowly floated to the floor then another. Oh, fan-fucking-tastic! This shit!

He stepped on the feathers to hide them as Angel returned, trying to keep a neutral expression. He probably wouldn’t have noticed the feathers anyways. He had his eyes locked onto Husk’s as he reached for his arm again. A devious light there had chased away the tenderness that had been prevalent the rest of the night, letting Husk know Angel’d fully shifted gears.

Thankfully when they returned to the hotel it wasn’t to some kind of fuckin fanfare. He’d half expected some kind of congratulatory party, the way people acted around here. But the foyer was as empty as it usually was this time of night. Just the two of them as it so often was. Angel stopped by the bar and released his arm.

“Okay, gimme ten to slip into somethin more comfortable,” Angel said with a joking tone. “Then meet me in my room.”

He made a show of walking away, swinging his hips and looking back at Husk over his shoulder before disappearing down the corridor. Husk just stood there calmly until he was out of sight. Once alone, he threw himself abruptly over the bar, gasping in air like a drowning man. He sent bottles clattering to the floor as he fished around for a drink. He leaned back against the bar and sank to the ground as he chugged whatever booze he’d managed to grab. The chugging became less frantic after a moment and he started to breathe again. Thank fucking god for alcohol.

“You did this to yourself, asshole,” he muttered under his breath.

He watched the clock as it ticked away the seconds he had to get himself together. He finally did away with his tie entirely and ran a paw over his head. Okay, this wasn’t such a big deal. God, it wasn’t like he didn’t find Angel attractive. And this would make him happy.

All of Husk’s limbs went limp and his head banged back against the bar. Dammit, he wanted him to be happy. How had he let this happen? He sighed and let the empty bottle roll out of his grasp before picking himself up off the floor.

He trudged down the hall to Angel’s room, leaving a sparse trail of feathers in his wake, and gave a light rap on the door before pushing it open. The lights were low and tinged pink from the scarves draped over the shades. Angel had tossed rose petals around the room wildly. He followed their general trail over to the bed where Angel was, of course, poised seductively.

He’d changed out of the prom dress and into lacy black lingerie, makeup entirely redone to match. How the fuck did he do that so fast? Angel shifted forward and pushed himself off the bed, sauntering over to him the way he approached a pole at a show. He brushed the back of a hand against his cheek as he circled around behind him. All three sets of arms snaked around him, hands working at buttons and sliding under his shirt.

Husk froze as his clothes just fell around him, only brought back to motion by the shiver that went down his spine when Angel pressed soft kisses against the back of his neck. Damn, he was good. His paws rose to find the closest pair of Angel’s hands and slid over them. Angel nuzzled his face into the crook of his neck before finding his ear.

“I’ve been waiting for this.”

Husk turned in his arms and tried to think of something to say. All he could think of was how long it had been and how badly he was about to fuck up. He started backing away slowly, but Angel followed.

He felt his knees buckle as he backed up into the bedframe. He fell back onto the bed and Angel leaned over him, using a pair of arms to hold himself up while the other two ran down his chest. Husk’s throat felt like it had closed up and he gasped for air.

“W-wait.”

#Hazbin Hotel #huskerdust #Husk/Angel

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emerald-studies · 4 years

Text

Diverse Perspectives | Discussion 2

I talked with @a-sucker-for-rosalie for her perspective as an Indian-American, Muslim woman and who is also the daughter of immigrants.

*Tumblr deleted this post AGAIN when I tired to post this, so again sorry for the mistakes*

[ It is required to participate and watch/read these discussions, in order to follow me. Participate or get tf out. We aren’t performative in my lil’ area on Tumblr.

This discussion isn’t representative of an entire population or meant to be super professional. It’s to share different perspectives and also is an opportunity for me to practice what I preach: intersectionality. If you’d like to participate in this series please send me a pm or an ask and I’ll get back to you ASAP. We can do a written, audio, or video interview.]

youtube

Faith: Ok, now...

A /@a-sucker-for-rosalie : Hi, my blog is @a-sucker-for-rosalie and my main blog is @theawkwardmuslimgirl, I’m a 24 yo Muslim woman from the United States and this is my story.

F: *laughs* Good job!

Have you felt an urge to assimilate by anyone in your life, or society in general?

A: Yeah absolutely, I think one of the biggest things for me has been my name I have an Arabic name, it’s something that’s been difficult for people to pronounce over the years, even my coworkers and some people in my family don’t say it properly and I’ve gone back and forth between absolutely hating my name and trying to whitewash it. Telling people to call me AJ or give me a nickname whatever they can think of or shortening it somehow. And then at some point when I reached college, and I kind of started to understand myself a lot better, I was like “Wait a minute, no...I love my name. My Grandmother who I’m so close to, or was before she passed away, she named me.” and it just became this big thing for me where my name was important to me and it was representative of my culture and my religion and yeah I’ve gone back and forth on that but I’ve kinda settled into, I like my name I’m not going to do nicknames anymore, ya know...if someone at least tries to make an effort to pronounce it properly, that's good enough for me right now. But I'm done hating that part of myself.

F: Right. And I think it's a kind of on other people to, just not make a big deal about it. If it's a cool, it's a cool name like then just say it's a cool name. You don't have to, like, drag out that whole conversation about “Oh, how do you pronounce it syllable by syllable by syllable?” Like, I mean, unless you (A ) want to, but like, I know, I've had friends that like I've encountered other people and they, they like kind of pick it apart and be like, “Oh, that sounds weird”. And it's just like,

A: Mm hmm.

F: So like, what? yourself yours sounds really basic, Claire. That also reminds me of Hasan Minhaj on Ellen, when Ellen pronounced his name wrong. And that was a whole thing, but it was like it just really makes you think like you can pronounce Timothée Chalamet Why can't you make an effort to pronounce someone else's name accurately?

A: Yeah, exactly. And my whole thing for a while, it's just like, I'm saying my name for you before you even see it spelled--

F:*laughs*

A: --you should be able to say it back to me, like you're purposely--You've never heard it before, and you're purposely making it harder for yourself.

F: That’s so accurate, you do Introduce yourself. So, yeah, that’s ridiculous.

As a child of immigrants, how is the anti immigrant talking point affected your mental health?

A: Um, I mean, I'm pretty white passing. And as a Muslim, I don't wear hijab at the moment. So on a personal level, like out in every day, I don't feel that. But then, you know, when Trump was running for president, and things like that, and there is all this, people were half joking that he was going to put Muslim people in concentration camps or something. And then the Muslim ban happen with travel. I think that was very painful to experience. I mean, it's definitely come and gone. It's not a constant thing. Like, I don't feel oppressed or as targeted as say, like, Black people or even like, Mexican immigrants or anything like that. But it definitely has. When it's come up again, it's difficult to deal with and it's hurtful and then you do go through all those emotions of questioning. “Okay, so like people are cool to my face, but when it comes down to it, who's gonna protect me or who secretly doesn't like my people?” You know,

F: Right. Yeah. Because all that has shifted, you know, like, people are hiding their ignorance. Trying to rationalize it now, so you never really know, is on your side. I think it's just like so scary.

A: And there’s people are like, “Oh, you're cool, but you know, the other people.” It's like, ummmm

F: I've heard someone say “You're like a good Black.”. Like,

A: Yeah, that's not cool.

F: Would you say like, do you just....I don't know, like, everyone is good in some way, I believe, like, deep down somewhere or they were good, and then they were just corrupted. So,

A: Yeah, I mean, I know people probably don't mean harm by saying that. And like, it’s just like, dude, educate yourself.

F: I mean, personally, I do think them by not meaning any harm, but saying it anyways makes it harmful.

A: Yeah, sure.

F: I mean, them kind of knowing that they're talking about something that they don't really know about. I think that's me. That's just me.

A: But no, you're right. I think there's a weird thing. I mean, when, when the whole protests started, and this Black lives matter thing, just in the past couple months got really big. There were all these white people on social media posting about, “I had no idea that Black people go through this!” and like, “I'm starting to really look at my privilege as a white person”. And I was like, okay, so many people really don't know what's going on. And on the one hand, I don't think they're bad people. And I know they don't mean it the way it comes across. So I do try to give people the benefit of the doubt. Like a lot of times it is just the lack of education on their part. Yeah, like I try. I try not to hate on people or like, call them out on that stuff. It's just like, Okay, here’s how you should actually approach this....

F: It's funny the way you put that

A: Like, like white women checking their privilege on Instagram was like, blowing my mind.

F: Oh, yeah. Not No. Yeah, Emma Emma Watson like, posting those black squares but cropping them so they fit her aesthetic.

A: Ah, God.

F: Yeah. And like, I have seen stuff like that, like, “Oh, I know about this” or, um, and it's, but, you know, the first wave really wasn't like 2014/2015 (of BLM)

A: Yeah.

F: And I remember because I was 14 or 15. So like if I was 14, and like, all these older people are like, “Oh, I know....” I'm like, Well, if I know Yeah,

A: What were you doing this whole time?

F: those women crack me up.

A: They crack me up too

F: Yeah, they're just discovering this like new like, essential oil.

A: Yeah, it's exactly like that.

You've lived in India for a year--Did you experience a culture shock or did you feel a sense of belonging?

A: Oh, absolutely. I don't think I've ever felt like such an outcast before. A lot of it was I didn't speak the language. My mom's parents when she was a year old, they moved to Canada and they didn't teach her our mother tongue either. Because they were kind of hell bent on their kids assimilating into Canadian culture, and fitting in with the white people. They didn't want them to be outcasts there either. I remember my mom telling me she was the only kid in her school and Black parents. Yeah, it was very, very white. And then, you know, I was the only kid in my Indian School who didn't speak the language. They spoke English at the school. So it wasn't that bad, but I think I definitely did stand out. As an American person. I was just talking to my sister last night. She's like, yeah, yeah. I told them. We live in California. And they're like, Oh, do you know Jennifer Lopez? I don't know.

F: You that's so fair, though. We give like Yeah, you do that to each other. Like, if you hear someone lives in____, like you're like, oh, have you seen a _____ out and about?

A: Yeah, I don't know. I think definitely It was early 2000s. Two. So there was sort of it was a different time. You can say stuff like that. Like we didn't, there was no social media or anything. So you don't really understand how other people live. Just what you see on TV.

F: I do you really regret not being taught your...[mother tounge]?

A: Yeah, I do wish I learned it. Um, I do want to try to pick it up. I know, in adulthood, that's a lot harder. But my cousins have picked it back up again. So I feel like I definitely could. It's not like I don't want to turn it into a “whoa is me” kind of thing because all my grandparents spoke fluent English. It was never a problem.

F: Mm hmm.

A: I think it's more of a retaining culture thing, but I don't think I would ever go back to India at this point, just because of the political climate there. There is a lot happening between Hindus and Muslims and just, it's not safe. And I don't know if I would ever make that journey again. As a non-tourist.

There have been many terrorist attacks against your community, how do you manage the pain of people viewing terrorism against your culture versus, like viewing it differently than 9/11? or other terrorist attacks against white people? Or largely white populations?

A: Also, good question. Um, I don't know, I feel like growing up as a Muslim, you've always kind of had this thing in your head that you are the other. And you're different from people. And I was think I was four or five when 9/11 happened. So I grew up with that feeling. It's not, I don't know any different. So it is this kind of thing of like, okay, I do understand that a large group of people hate us and we are targeted sometimes. But I think just like reaching back to my community and like looking back at my religion and like spiritual stuff kind of helps me like that.

F: Have you experienced your friends viewing it differently? Like holding other terrorist attacks in like a grander I don't know how to phrase this--

A: I think I get what you're saying. Like, like they think it's worse when it happens to white people.

F: Yeah cuz I've had friends that did stuff like that that would say like, you know like even America in general just like we paused in my online school one time for like five years minutes for 9/11 I'm like, Okay. Um, that's, that's great. Um, are we going to do that with like, I would have, I mean, not to say “all terrorist actions matter”, Yeah. It's such a huge thing. And then I'm like, okay, but are we going to tie that to what America has done in the Middle East? Like, I mean,

A: I'm very lucky that my friend group has always been very diverse. And they open and likes to talk about the news and keep up with those kind of stuff. I mean, my best friends are like an Indian Hindu and like a Catholic, Korean. Like, we're all over the place of that stuff, to kind of understand each other in that sense. So I've never had that problem for I feel other defy my friends in that way. And also As an ethnic person, I do tend to look for friends who are also in some sort of minority, just like as a comfort thing.

F: Mm hmm.

A: So I'm very blessed that I haven't had to, like unfriend people over things like that.

F: That's amazing. I'm glad you have that support. And your discussions must be very interesting.

A: Oh they’re great, we have great discussions.

How do you see yourself in your country?

A: I know it's like, trendy to be like, “I hate America. This place sucks”. Especially like as a woman as an immigrant as a minority. Like I, I, I recognize how blessed I am to be here and have the opportunities that I've had because my parents immigrated, and because this country does allow us so much freedom. I do think sometimes I question my place here. But for the most part, like, I don't want to say it's great, but like, I, I know what I have and I value it. I don't take it for granted.

F: Yeah, that's a good way to put it.

Do you think that public figures are afraid to voice their support for the Muslim community?

A: Some of them Yes. I can't think of off the top of my head who said what about what but I do, just like with influencers and stuff, like the Christchurch mosque shooting, a lot of people were silent about that. And that was very painful to see. But I don't know I feel like it's just it's something I expect at this point. Like, I never expect anybody to stick up for us. But when I see it, it definitely is nice. Like, I remember Kylie Jenner's but something when that happen, and I was like, “Oh, God bless you, thank God”. Someone said something. I think Kim Kardashian and I think Kourtney or Khloe might not have said something. And I was like, “Huh.” Like, I don't know, it's just like, you have to wonder where everybody's loyalty lies and like, do you have something against Muslims? 50 people just died for no reason while they were peacefully praying, like, is that not something? But then, like, I don't know. It's the whole thing of like, influencers saying they don't want to be “political”, which I used to understand. And at this point, you cannot not be political because it's just it's such a big part of Life at this point, and if you're not political, I don't know if you're aligned with Trump, or like your low key racist or what..so you saying nothing says something, you know?

F: Yeah, I totally agree. I think that says so much when you look at a person and what they talk about, but it says so much more what they don't talk about, ] I think--and like there are a lot of things to talk about To be fair, but when you look at current events, and tying what they're not talking about, to the present day, like in this moment, then that says so much and I'm sorry that more people didn't say anything about shooting that was just atrocious. Like, I mean, I didn't have social media than I would’ve said something.---

A: So I got up that morning and cried so hard. Just I was like, I mean, I don't need influencers to like, be pseudo activists or anything, but once in a while just remind your audience what you're aligned with. I feel like that's very important.

F: Yeah, yeah. I think that's so yeah, that's so fair because you may like have someone who is racist or like anti-Semitic or like any...homophobic in your follows and, like, if you don't talk about something, if you don't say, “Oh, we support blank here, get out if you don't”, or if you don't talk about frequently enough. I feel like those types of people can like, I don't know, hide themselves. I think, that's scary. Um, And I'm so sorry that you had to go through that type of feeling where you don't feel that enough people were talking about that tragic, tragic event. And I hope it never happens again, it should have happened in the first place.

Do you feel that you were the face of your religion and race when you lived in a very white area?

A: Um, like I said, I'm white passing. So no. And when I when I lived in those areas, I was very, very young. So it wasn't even an opportunity for me to even fully understand that my place as a Indian person or a Muslim person, but I definitely did not connect or relate to the white people. They're like it when you're young. You know, you're different. You just can't figure out how yet.

F: Hmm, that's a good way to put it. Yeah.

Is there a bigger divide between the young population and the older population in your culture versus the young white population? And the older white population?

A: Yeah, I think there is. That's a great question. Um, I think it just in that move from India, or any you know, you see this with most immigrants, no matter where they're from, but coming from your the motherland to the west. It's just the culture shock. I mean, with young people, so they want to assimilate. I see that with my peers a lot. They're just very desperate to fit in. They want the American culture they want to behave like white people. Go smoking and drinking and dating and whatever, things that aren't necessarily a part of our culture. But yeah, there's there's a lot of people trying to blend in. And I see a lot of brown people who were Indian when it's convenient, like on Instagram. It's like, “Ooooh, I'm Ethnic”, and then the other six days a week, and they're white. You know?

F: *laughs* Yes, I do. Like, that reminds me of like Halsey who brings out the fact that she's Black(?) when necessary.

A: I mean, like, I get it. There is a struggle there being white passing and still trying to be like, “Hey, I'm here.” Part of this culture and experience in some way or another in like you do feel like you have to prove that. And also, like, as a white passing person, I do feel like I haven't had a lot of experience that feels like a universal experience for other brown people. Like I don't get targeted like that I wasn't bullied for being brown or my skin or my hair or whatever, or my accent. So there is kind of this weird lack of camaraderie because you're not visibly part of your community sometimes. So I kind of understand where she's coming from. But when she uses it as a tool, it's like--

F: Yeah, like, Yeah, exactly. Like if you are using your platform to share voices that have had that experience. Like that's a totally other thing. Yeah, when you pull it out to complain about shampoo at a hotel Yeah, no, it doesn't suit curly hair of shampoo.

A: Who doesn’t bring shampoo?

*laughs*

What do you think about the hard working immigrant stereotype?

A: Um, because, like coming from an Asian background, you do have the people who did were the parents and grandparents who pull themselves up by the bootstraps and actually did work very, very hard to get their kids and grandkids where they are. But at the same time, I think both my parents came from like a generally privileged or like, middle class background. Like, my parents have degrees and my dad always had a job and he had his own apartment and cars stuff there wasn't that sort of struggle with us. I don't think it's not necessarily a universal experience. I do think Asian people need to check their privilege on that one like a lot of us, and we did not have that struggle.

F: Interesting. And this is a final question:

You've lived in diverse areas and very white areas, which area has affected you more?

F: ...although you said that you were in the white areas when you were younger.

A: So I think that definitely did have an effect on me. I think less so in terms of my culture, but more so just as a human being and how I tend to treat myself or treat other people as an adult, and even in school, like I know how it feels to be the outcast, and I know what it feels like to not fit in. So I think in that sense, it's just really shaped my worldview, like being kind to other people and them how I want to treat other people and identifying in other minority groups. How they feel other-ed.

F: Hmm, yeah, using that for good. Mm hmm. Yeah.

A: Really shaping my own understanding.

F: Yeah. That's amazing. Um, thank you for doing this.

A: Absolutely. Thank you for interviewing me. I appreciate it.

F: Anytime. If you want to come back anytime I can make more questions. I will stop the recording so we can talk a little bit privately. And thank you again.

Let’s have a discussion! Did you learn anything new from this conversation?

Let me know here.

To close out each post, I’d like to write a lil’ paragraph about the person I talk with:

Even though our talk was shorter than others I’ve had in this series, I could tell just how sweet A is. Her voice made me smile constantly throughout our chat. I’m appalled that she, and her community as a whole, have been subjected to the horrors of mankind that often are brushed off or ignored. Her strength and positivity are inspirational for me. I’m once again blessed that she took the time to chat with me. A was also another person who was there for me (sending love to the egg gang, again) and I’m so lucky to have such marvelous people as friends/supporters. A, if you ever need anything I’m sooo here for you.

You’re a sensational person.

-Faithxx

#twilight #muslim #india #immigrants #discussionswithfaith

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master-sass-blast · 4 years

Text

Release.

Hmmmmm... this thing is solid projection. Whoops.

Summary: You're exhausted. No matter what you do, you can't get enough rest to save your soul. You try to keep up with everything, try to not let the fatigue hinder you

--And then it all comes crashing down.

Pairing(s): Piotr Rasputin x Reader.

Rating: T for depression, anxiety, chronic fatigue, and general angst-hurt/comfort vibes.

Set after “It’s Truly Magical,” but this one is special in that it doesn't directly impact the canon. It's sort of a special one-off.

Author’s Note: So, as some of you may have gathered from the tags and preamble, this fic is basically me venting my own frustration.

I've been dealing with some pretty wicked chronic fatigue for the better part of... coming up on a year now, actually. Wow. I didn't realize it'd been that long.

It's made life really hard for me, from everything to eating to doing chores to hanging out with friends to writing. We don't know what's causing it, and we're trying to take care of it through lifestyle changes and making sure I don't exert myself too much (we meaning me, my family, my fiance, and my doctor). There's been a few things that have helped, but by in large it's still been kicking my ass.

I know I was gone for a long time. Part of that was the fatigue making it impossible to write or post. To those of you who are still around, thank you -and I'm sorry. I'm trying my best, I promise.

If you're dealing with chronic fatigue or think you're dealing with chronic fatigue, just know that it's okay that you're tired. You're not lazy. You're not a failure. You're not going crazy. You're not a burden. Your body needs rest, you need rest, and you *deserve* to rest.

Here's a resource on chronic fatigue syndrome and what it looks like.

I hope you're all doing well. Stay safe and wear your mask.

Taglist: @marvel-is-perfection, @chromecutie, @girl-obsessed-with-things, @super-darkcloudstudent, @dandyqueen, @leo-writer

It creeps over you. It starts as a wispy, soft cloud, hanging over the horizon of your existence.

And then it grows. Larger, more oppressive. Until you’re fully immersed in it, with no sense of direction or how to get out.

***

You’re not really sure you remember when it started. You’ve always been tired to some extent –anxiety, nightmares, and running on the X-Men schedule will do that to a person.

Exhaustion hits like a brick one day after training. You slump against the tiled wall in one of the shower stalls in the locker room. Water streams down your sweaty face and body while you struggle to make your eyes focused. Shit. I must have pushed too hard.

You manage to get yourself cleaned up and trudge back to yours and Piotr’s home at the back of Xavier’s property. You collapse onto the couch in the living room. Your limbs are stone, too heavy to drag another step. Your body throbs in time with your heartbeat. I need a nap. Just for a couple hours.

You only want to sleep for a couple hours.

You only mean to sleep for a couple hours.

You wake up at nine in the evening, to Piotr gently nudging you.

He tuts, fussing over you like a worried mother hen. “Are you feeling well, myshka?” He presses the back of his hand against your forehead. “You have slept for long time.”

“I’m fine,” you mumble, mind still cloudy with exhaustion. You force yourself to sit up. You jaw cracks when you yawn. “Just overdid it in training today.”

Your husband gently chides you, ushering you into the kitchen so you can eat. “It is important to replenish energy.”

You go straight to bed after eating and sleep for another ten hours.

***

Part of you wonders ‘how did I let this happen? How did I let it get this bad?’

The other part of you wonders if you had any say in it at all.

***

The fatigue starts seeping into other areas of your life as well. Training, grading, hanging out with friends, eating…

You’re so tired. You chalk it up to mission stress, to going too hard during training, to running on weird hours all the time.

You start sleeping through the day to cope. No matter how well you sleep at night or how much sleep you get, you’re always so fucking tired.

Piotr notices the change in your sleeping habits. Because of course he does. It’s ingrained into his very DNA to be an observant, loving nurturer.

He brings it up during dinner one night. “Are you doing alright, myshka?”

“What? Yeah. Of course.” You’d woken up from a nap a couple hours before, and you feel good for once. (You’ll crash a couple hours later.) “Why? What’s wrong?”

“You have been sleeping at odd hours,” Piotr says, stirring his soup with his spoon. “I just want to make sure you are not having mental troubles.”

“I’m fine, baby.” And, on that front, you are. You’ve got your meds, your support system, a home, creative outlets, and a fulfilling –if occasionally dangerous—job. “I’ve just been tired lately, is all. I think it’s the weird mission hours just putting my body clock out of whack.”

“You should try to stay on normal schedule, then,” Piotr points out. He frowns, concerned. “Is not good for mental health to keep odd hours.”

You bristle. You are trying, dammit. You push through training and grading and your obligations every single damn day, even if all you can do is collapse in bed afterwards. Who the hell is he to say that you’re not trying?! “I am, Piotr. You don’t have to micromanage me. I’m not one of your teens.”

Piotr recoils, blue eyes widening. He holds up his hands. “Easy, dorogoy. I am not trying to micromanage. I just want you to be healthy.”

You drop your gaze down to your bowl of soup. Your heart races in your throat. “Sorry.”

***

It’s like being one of those houses infested with termites. You’re being consumed from the inside out. On the outside, you look fine. On the inside, you’re crumbling away like a sad, dry cookie left in the bottom of the cookie jar for five long, lonely months.

You’ve always been weird. You oscillate between outgoing and reclusive like nobody’s business. You’re a lot like Wade –somewhere between amusing and a nuisance to most of the adults, though most of the teens and kids like you.

(Piotr insists that it’s not true, that everyone likes you well enough, but you’ve never quite had the full faith to believe him.)

No one notices that you’re hurting. No one notices that something’s wrong. No one notices, no one notices, no one fucking notices—

But, to be fair, you hardly notice it yourself.

***

You kind of start to lose your mind, if you’re being honest.

It’s hard enough to keep up with your workload with the mission scheduling –but being tired all the time slams the nail in the coffin. You manage to drag yourself to training on time because it’s mandatory, because it’s important, because it’s for the good of your team, and—

And everything else falls apart.

You spend countless late night hours on the couch cramming through your grading, because you needed to sleep earlier, and the deadline’s only looming closer, and you have to be productive, dammit—

More than once, you drag yourself up to bed when Piotr’s just getting up for the day.

He frowns, forehead creasing. “Myshka—”

“I had grading to do,” you mutter as you crawl back into bed.

He finishes buttoning up his shirt, then sits down next to you. The bedframe groans under his bulk. “This is not healthy, moya lyubov’.”

“I’m fucking working on it, Piotr!” you snap, glaring at your husband. “Just –leave me alone!”

He swallows hard, blue eyes shining with hurt. He looks like a kicked puppy.

You huff and slam your face into your pillow, mostly to hide the fact that you’re crying.

Piotr smooths your hair down, then kisses the back of your head. “Ya tebya lyublyu, myshka.”

You bite down on your pillow and cry harder.

***

It’s more than just being tired.

It’s guilt. It’s enough guilt to fill an ocean. No amount of effort you make is good enough; no matter how hard you try you wind up failing. Or snapping at someone you love. Or being unable to do even the simplest shit.

There’s so much anger, too. At the world, at anyone who points out that you’re not doing well, at yourself. There’s a scream constantly behind your lips, trying to crack its way out of your chest.

You’re failing. You’re trying to scoop up handfuls of sand to keep an entire dune from consuming you, and the grains keep running through your fingers; it practically looks like you haven’t done anything at all, and you’re so fucking tired…

***

The ‘house’ collapses over a load of dishes.

One load of fucking dishes.

It’s ridiculous.

You manage to drag yourself out of bed one morning, trying to get the haze that seems to be a permanent fixture in your mind to clear. You trudge downstairs, energy sapping out of you with every step you take.

You see last night’s dishes in the sink, waiting to be rinsed and loaded into the dishwasher.

It’s an easy task. The dishes aren’t all that dirty, and there aren’t that many of them.

And you can’t do it. You don’t have the energy. You’re just too fucking tired.

You failed.

You crumple to the floor, weeping against the wooden floorboards as the dam you’d been trying so hard to keep stable gives way. You scream, anger and guilt and frustration and self-loathing washing over you, crushing you beneath their weight. You clutch at your hair, seething as the past few months finally come to a head—

And then Piotr’s arms are around you. (Later, you’ll learn that he stopped back at the house to pick up a gradebook, which is why he was even around during the day in the first place.) He scoops you up, cradling you against his chest. “Myshka, what’s wrong? Are you hurt?”

You sob into his shirt, beyond words.

“Okay, okay.” He checks you over to make sure you’re not visibly injured, then carries you upstairs to bed.

You whimper when he tries to tuck you in. “No –I’ve got stuff to do—”

“It can wait,” he says, loving but firm. He gently tugs the comforter over you, then toes his shoes off before laying down next to you.

“It can’t,” you cry, even as he tugs you into his arms and tucks you against his chest. “It’s already waited for so long.”

“And it can wait longer.” He kisses your forehead. “It is okay, myshka. Rest.”

You snuffle and sob and gasp—

And, eventually, you fall asleep.

***

You wake up to Piotr stroking your hair. You inhale sharply, blinking to cast the bleariness out of your vision. “What time is it?”

“About noon,” he says.

Your heart sinks. “Shit. I’ve got grading—”

He places his arm over your waist, holding you in place. “It can wait.”

“But—”

“You had breakdown this morning, myshka. Health comes first.” He gazes into your eyes, brow furrowing. “Talk to me, moya lyubov. Please. What is wrong?”

Your heart rips into infinitesimal pieces at seeing him so worried –and then you start crying again. “I can’t…” You squeeze your eyes shut and buy your face against his chest. “I can’t. I can’t do it. No matter how much sleep I get, or I don’t get, or how much I exercise or don’t exercise, or what I eat or –any of it. I’m so tired, Piotr.” You let out a choked sob. “I’m just so tired, and I keep failing—”

Piotr rubs your back and kisses the top of your head. “It’s okay, myshka. It’s okay.”

***

Eventually, you settle again. You’re snuggled against Piotr’s chest, sniffling and sighing while he strokes your hair.

It’s not a bad place to bed.

“How long?” he asks, voice quiet and gentle. “How long have you felt tired?”

“I don’t know,” you mutter, lulled to a state of near drowsiness by his ministrations. “A few months? Maybe a little longer? I’ve always been kind of tired, what with anxiety and nightmares and all that shit.”

He ‘hmms,’ kissing the top of your head. “Have you eaten yet?”

“…does leftover pizza at three in the morning count?”

He sighs, exasperated and amused. “Okay, time for food.”

“I can’t,” you whimper, tears coming back as frustration swells in your chest. “I’m too tired to eat.”

Piotr shushes you, gently drying your cheeks with a tissue. “What if I bring you something?”

You stomach churns with guilt and self-loathing. “I’m not a baby. I don’t… I shouldn’t need people to make food for me.”

“No, not baby,” Piotr agrees, kissing your cheek. “But you are unwell.”

“I’m not sick!”

“Unwell is unwell,” Piotr states, voice brokering no room for debate (though it never loses that gentle intonation of his). “If I bring you food, will you eat?”

You hesitate, then manage a small nod. “Something small, please. I don’t want, like, a whole meal.”

Piotr nods. He heads downstairs, then returns a few minutes later with some toast, fruit, a glass of milk –and some Cheetos.

You giggle when you see the fluorescent orange cheese-snacks on your plate. “You do love me.”

“Navsegda.” He hands the plate to you, sets the glass on your nightstand, then waits for you to start in on your toast before speaking again. “I think you should see Dr. Mccoy about fatigue.”

“But I’m not sick,” you argue after swallowing a bite of toast.

“That you know of,” he corrects. “Lots of things can cause fatigue. Is best to check, to make sure more serious problem is not happening.”

“But…” A lump rises in your throat. “What if this is just me now? What if… what if I’m just broken?”

Piotr takes your hand in his. He presses his lips against your knuckles. “Then we know, and we make life suited to your brokenness.”

“I can’t slow everyone down, Piotr,” you insist. Your eyes burn with unshed tears. “I can’t –I can’t be a burden. It’s not fair to everyone else if I’m getting some sort of special treatment because I’m tired.”

“You are not burden,” Piotr declares, gaze boring into yours. “You are never burden. Understand?”

“Piotr—”

“Things happen, myshka. Sometimes, our bodies just… do not work right anymore. You still deserve comfortable, happy life. Nothing is unfair about that. Nothing.” He kisses the back of your hand again when you sigh, then pats your leg. “Finish eating. We go to doctor afterwards.”

***

The only way out is through.

Who would’ve guessed.

***

Dr. McCoy runs a series of comprehensive tests. Thyroid, allergy, iron deficiencies, vitamin deficiencies, glucose levels—

It comes back negative. All of it.

On one hand, it’s a good thing, given that you don’t have some sort of life-threatening condition that needs treating.

On the other hand, you just feel worse. It’s like proof that you have no excuse, that you’re tired for no reason, and that you just need to try harder.

“You are trying,” Piotr says when you admit as much. He draws you into a hug and kisses the top of your head. “We just need to find tools so that trying isn’t so hard.”

“What if there’s nothing?” you ask in a horrified whisper. “What if we try everything and nothing works?”

He kisses the top of your head again. “Then that is okay, too. However you are is okay, myshka.”

***

“How’s the tai chi going?”

You shrug. “It’s fine.” Nathan had switched you over to low impact exercise the second he got wind of your fatigue issues. “Wade likes to do it with me; we like to try and incorporate lame dance moves into our sets to see if Nathan’ll catch us doing it.”

Alyssa chuckles and shakes her head. “And does he?”

“He definitely did when Wade started doing the worm.”

The two of you laugh together.

“And how’s your task setting going?” Alyssa asks when you both settle back down. She grins when you scowl. “Ooh, I knew that’d be your reaction. I knew you were not going to like it one bit. You keep trying to eat the whole whale, sweetheart. You’re gonna choke!”

“I know, I know.” You sigh, frustrated and dejected in equal measure. “It’s just… hard. I used to be able to do so much more. And now –it’s like my body was stolen away from me.”

“I know, sweetheart. And I’m so sorry. But it’s important that you learn to readjust your scope for what’s reasonable and what’s not. Otherwise, you’re gonna keep spinning yourself in anxious circles –and you’re gonna keep making the fatigue worse by overworking yourself.”

You groan and rub at your face with your hands. “It just… it feels wrong! Like I’m being lazy! I don’t have a reason to be so tired.”

“Sure you do,” Alyssa says, as if it’s that simple. “Your body is healing. You spent a lifetime being traumatized and abused. Your body put itself on hold to help keep you alive. You’ve dealt with your anxiety, depression, and trauma to the point where you’re stable, so now all those years of stress and pain are finally catching up. This is your body’s way of saying ‘hey, it’s my turn!’ So, now you need to listen to it.”

“But what if I don’t get better?” you ask, voice fraying. “What if I’m like this forever?”

She shrugs, tucking her braids over her shoulder. “That could happen; the amount of trauma you went through would be more than enough to result in a permanent presentation of chronic fatigue syndrome. But it could also get better, too. There’s no point in trying to predict the outcome.”

“But if I don’t get better, I’ll have to step down from being an X-Man.”

“There is more to this life than being an X-Man, honey,” Alyssa says, smiling warmly at you. “You have an entire world to discover. You just might have to do it at a different pace than everyone else. Your goal isn’t to get back to being an X-Man. Your goal is to take care of yourself.”

You tuck your knees under your chin and wrap your arms around your legs. “That doesn’t feel like enough.”

“How come?”

“Because it’s me. I have to do more to make up for the fact that it’s me.”

Alyssa points her pen at you. “That’s the anxiety and depression talking. You are more than enough, just as you are. Your worth is not based on your productivity or what you can offer to society. It’s based on your existence as a human being, that’s all.”

You drop her gaze, opting to look down at the ornate, ocean blue rug she keeps in her office instead.

“I want you to keep working on adjusting your goal setting,” Alyssa says as she jots down a few notes in your file. “Three things a day, whether it’s chore, work, or self-care related. Nothing else goes on that list unless you need to remember to do it, like taking your meds. Okay?”

You mutter your assent.

“Attagirl. I also want you to do your positive affirmations. Three times a day, plus whenever you get caught in negative thought patterns.”

You groan and slump down on the couch. “No! Positive affirmations suck!”

“They’re wonderful,” Alyssa fires back, chuckling. “They’re so good for you, so good for your brain…” She laughs when you retch, then closes your file and stands. “Alright, sweetheart. Keep at it. I’ll see you next week.”

Piotr looks up when you walk out of Alyssa’s office. “All done?”

“She’s making me do more positive affirmations,” you grumble (you can hear Alyssa laugh at your admission).

“Ah, is good for you,” Piotr says as he ushers you down the hall. “Good to say truth out loud.”

You retch again. “Not you, too. I need to go find Wade. He’ll understand.”

Your husband chuckles and shakes his head. “Come on, myshka. Back home with you.”

“Why does it have to be so far?” you groan. “It’s so much walking.”

“Are you feeling tired?”

You sigh. “Honestly, yeah. I’m really wiped out.”

Piotr puts an arm around your shoulder in a one-armed hug. “I am sorry, moya lyubov’. Would you like me to carry you?”

“I shouldn’t need carrying.”

Piotr stops. He cups your face in his massive hands, making you look up at him. “Is not about ‘should’ or ‘should not.’ If your body needs help, then you need help.”

You hesitate, but ultimately nod. “Yeah. I’d be nice if you carried me.”

He nods. He waits until you two are outside, then kneels so you can clamber on his back. “Hop on, myshka.”

You loop your arms around his neck. You wait until he has his arms looped around your legs, then point in the direction of your house. “Home, Jeeves.”

Piotr chuckles. “I am transport service, now?”

“Damn right.” You gently slap his burly chest. “Mush. I want Poptarts.”

Piotr laughs again, then sets off across the lawn.

***

You’re not alright. Not technically. Alyssa’s right that you’ve been hurt. Healing takes time, and you’re just beginning your journey.

But you’ve got Piotr. Your family. Your friends. You’ve got Dr. McCoy and Alyssa as professional support. You have a home to rest in when you’re weary.

You’re okay –and on the days that you’re not, you will be.

And that’s more than enough.

#sass writes #piotr rasputin x reader #colossus x reader #*sighs*#well this happened #tw: anxiety #tw: depression #tw: chronic fatigue #not technically canon to the series #the author needed some catharsis #angst #hurt comfort #deadpool fanfiction #x men fanfiction

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sdottkrames · 3 years

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Doors That Were Previously Closed (Bros)

@comfortember Prompt 23: Exhaustion

Summary:

Bruce was starting to freak out. Was Peter sick? Had something happened on patrol- some injury he was hiding or some poison he’d been exposed to? It wouldn’t be the first time.

Tony’s gonna kill me! he thought

Bruce knew how much Peter meant to Tony and he was pretty sure not even the hulk would be able to keep him safe if something happened to the boy. He was /this close/ to forcing Peter in the med bay for some tests when he suddenly let out a loud snore.

Notes: Finally caught up a little bit, so I’ll be posting one a day again! Only 4 more left after this, which is insane!!! Thanks for all your love and support, as always.

Read on AO3: Here

Peter looked at his schedule for the week and groaned.

He had a million projects or exams due, and on the day that he didn’t have Academic Decathalon after school to train for their upcoming meet, he was scheduled for his internship with Tony. And that wasn’t even counting Spider-Man duties.

“Tony, I’m going to actually die this week. Can I, like, fake my death and then come back in a week and a half with everything done?” Peter said after complaining to his mentor about his busy week.

Tony just chuckled. “I’d much prefer you alive, even if the death is fake.” His tone was light, but Peter knew Tony’d had a hard time during the five years he was gone, and could hear the strain behind the words. “How about during internship time, we just take it easy. I gotta finish up a prototype for SI, but it’s almost done, anyway, and shouldn’t take us working together more than a half hour. We’ll finish that and then how about I quiz you for that decathlon meet, or work with you on one of those millions of projects.”

Peter sighed, gratefully. “Yeah, that’d be great.” Gratitude for his mentor filled Peter and gave him the strength to believe he could make it through the week. “Thanks, Tony, you’re the best! I love you.”

“I love you, too, kiddo.” Tony’s voice was soft and mushy, and Peter secretly loved that he got to hear it like that. He grinned to himself as he hung up, then took a deep breath, turned on his “focus” playlist, and got to work.

***

TS: Hey kid, sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but I’m gonna have to rain check on lab day this week. SI meeting that I absolutely can’t get out of, “even for Peter.”

Peter stared at his phone, disappointment on his face. He’d worked so hard that week, and had been looking forward to a relaxing day with Tony, and having some help studying. He really needed to go over his notes to be ready for the meet- AcaDeca had taken a back burner for Spider-Man, and he’d been wanting to put forth a more concentrated effort to help his team.

Now he wasn’t so sure he could do that. But before he could wallow too long in his thoughts, his phone pinged with a text from Tony.

TS: But before you get all mopey, Underoos, Bruce agreed to take my place and study with you tonight. And I’ll get out of my meeting before you know it!

TS: And don’t forget to breathe. I know he’s “Bruce BANNER!” But he’s still just a guy. Don’t freak out. You’ll do great.

TS: love ya kid

Peter was left staring at his phone again, this time not in disappointment but in disbelief for two reasons. 1. It was scary how well Tony knew him. He probably should be used to it by now (they’d both reached the point of handing each other tools without needing to ask for them) but it still surprised and touched him whenever it happened. And 2. BRUCE BANNER?!

He took Tony’s advice and just breathed. Tonight was going to be awesome.

***

“Hey Dr. Banner!” Peter said as he bounced into Bruce’s lab in the compound. “Thanks again for helping me with my chemistry notes. Tony said he was forced to go to a meeting with Pepper, so I really appreciate you agreeing to help me!”

Bruce looked up, an easy smile on his face. “Of course, Peter. I’m glad I could help.”

Bruce had met many, many people in the course of his work as both a scientist and an avenger, but none of them ever really made him smile like Peter Parker did. The boy was just always happy. He talked a mile a minute, but Bruce found it more endearing than stressful, unlike other people. And the hero worship in the kid’s eyes did wonders for his self esteem. Especially since Peter looked at Bruce that way, not The Hulk.

“So, it’s just for academic decathlon. We have a meet coming up soon and I need to review the chemistry questions,” Peter said.

“Not a problem. I need to finish this first, though, if you don’t mind.”

Peter nodded and began pulling stuff out of his backpack, sitting in the chair Bruce had pulled over for the kid.

Once Bruce finished his project, he looked over at the young boy who had been patiently waiting for him. But Peter wasn’t looking through flash cards like Bruce had expected. The kid was staring at the wall.

Is this normal for him? Some sort of spider thing? He thought. Peter snapped out of it as soon as Bruce called his name, so he didn’t bring it up.

Bruce took the cards and began quizzing Peter. The kid was smart, and Bruce was very impressed. His lightning answers were almost always correct, and though Bruce had to explain a few things for some questions, Peter absorbed it quickly.

About an hour in, Bruce began to notice more things that were off about Peter. His words began to slur a little, he would need Bruce to reask the question, or forget something that he very clearly knew.

Bruce was starting to freak out. Was Peter sick? Had something happened on patrol- some injury he was hiding or some poison he’d been exposed to? It wouldn’t be the first time.

Tony’s gonna kill me!

Bruce knew how much Peter meant to Tony and he was pretty sure not even the hulk would be able to keep him safe if something happened to the boy. He was this close to forcing Peter in the med bay for some tests when he suddenly let out a loud snore.

Bruce looked up in shock. He’d evidently been zoning out in panic, staring at the cards, and suddenly all of Peter’s symptoms made sense. Bruce mentally kicked himself for not putting two and two together. The kid had had a rough week, after all, of course he‘d be exhausted.

Some doctor! He thought ruefully, but ultimately decided to consider it a side affect of the superhero life

He packed up Peter’s cards and then stared at the sleeping boy, unsure what to do. Peter didn’t look comfortable, his neck leaned forward at an awkward angle, his legs crossed and sure to fall asleep.

Sighing to himself, he gently slide his arms under Peter’s and lifted him up. Peter was incredibly light thanks to his spider DNA, and Bruce had no trouble carrying him thanks to the gamma radiation in his DNA. As he lifted the sleeping boy off the chair, Peter whimpered slightly, and then wrapped his legs around Bruce’s middle, nuzzling into Bruce’s neck.

“Okay, then, kiddo,” he murmured. “This is fine.”

He carried his precious cargo to the elevator and up to the common area, deciding to let Peter nap while he made a snack and watched a movie. However, it quickly became apparent that Peter had other plans.

As Bruce tried to put Peter down on the couch, his shirt was very nearly ripped off his body by Peter’s sticky fingers.

“Pete, you gotta let me go, kid.” There was no apparent change. “C’mon. Let go. Give me back my shirt.” After a few more murmured pleas with no luck, Bruce accepted his fate and laid down on the couch, clingy Spider and all.

But for all his discomfort, Bruce had to admit that he really did love Peter, and he didn’t mind the innocent physical affection, which was fairly rare for him. That door had been closed for years by his big green alter ego to ensure everyone's safety. He found himself relaxing under Peter’s weight, the kid’s steady breathing making it easier for him to breathe, too. He found himself more relaxed than he’d been in months. (It’s honestly amazing what some physical touch can do when you’re touch starved).

Bruce was very nearly asleep when the door opened and caused him to nearly jump off the couch. Luckily, he didn’t, and Peter continued sleeping peacefully.

“Hey,” Tony called from where he was kicking off his shoes by the front door. “Is he asleep?” Before Bruce could answer, Tony walked over, and a knowing grin spread across face when he saw Bruce’s current predicament. “Kid get sticky on ya?”

Bruce nodded, patting said kid’s back gently.

“Yeah, he does that.”

Bruce could tell Tony wasn't just talking about the sticky super powers. Peter had a way of working his way into everyone’s heart.

“Yeah, he does,” he whispered.

Tony put a blanket over the cuddly spider and his unfortunate victim, and then the two adults settled in to finish the movie, Peter still firmly attacked to Bruce’s shirt. But Bruce didn’t mind.

#comfortember #comfortember 2020 #mine #science bros!!

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indecisive-v · 3 years

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NINJAMUFFIN DOING ANOTHER AMA ON TWITTER, HERE'S MORE SHIT FOR YA! keep in mind i'm just sharing the funkin related stuff, though i am including WAAAAY more than what i shared before 👍 go check out ninja's twitter profile for questions about stuff like ritz! questions in blue, answers in orange. if yall don't wanna read everything i MIGHT make a version of this post where i replace the answers with my own summaries of em (and if the questions are long, those too)

and here's a link to the ama tweet itself! dunno if it's still goin

Q: I figure the answer will be yes but do you have more plans to implement more guest appearances from people in the newgrounds community into FNF? Or are you all gunna focus on OG lore and stuff going forward

A: for guest appearances, I think we have always seen it as getting a healthy mix of both. PERSONALLY I'd like to lean towards having more OG stuff than guest stuff, BUT it's all a matter of what other boys think of that as well. I'm not the sole person working on game!

Q: Are you gonna release the full FNF game or are you gonna be releasing week after week? Like, are you gonna release week 8 or are we gonna wait some years until The Full Ass Game comes out?

A: Release plan for FNF right now is a few more updates or whatev to the 'demo' we have out right now, and then a long silence of probably no updates whatsoever until the full game is done (which will likely be a few years). That's partly why we made kickstarter for game.

Q: Hey so like, how much will Fnf cost after it's finished? And when will you ask the supporters what they want the game on?

A: It's all subject to change, but right now it prob gonna be standard 15-25$ lil steam indie game.

We will ask Kickstarter pledgers and whatnot what they want the game on SUPER close to when its released, to keep options open if we get onto anything like a console people want.

Q: 1. how was your day

2. are you releasing a week 8 song early like week 7, or are you goin full lockdown

A: I am doing GOOD today, and I think recently I've been good in general.

up to the mood, but so far we doing good about not having anything leak or whatev, so I think it'd be fun to have update come out with people not knowing what to expect at all. Build dat intrigue

Q: Will fnf ever get official plushies?? Seems like an untapped market

A: FNF plushies will prob happen some point, we have a lot of current merch stuff on our plates already though! (Mostly kickstarter type stuff, shirts, pins, posters, and all the physical OST stuff) Its a lot to sort out, but in time more and more stuff will happen. We r jus 4 boys!

Q: did you ever expect your game to blow up as it did? what was your first reaction to seeing it become super popular

A: FNF never had a humble moment, literally day 1 before the prototype even came out, the vid on twitter had like 5K likes overnight. Then when ludum dare version came out, it got 5K likes again, like it wasnt just a fluke. Was crazy, and def felt like somethin was different wit FNF

Q: Do you plan on getting other people to come in to help with the music? That seems like a lot of work to dump on one person, what with the erect mode and whatnot.

I guess the question could apply to all aspects of development. Will you be bringing on more people to help?

A: We definitely are getting help from other people. We are always keeping an eye on people for various different things. In terms of programming, already I've gotten 2 people (MtH and Geokureli) to help with certain Week 7 stuff (charting/polish, and loading stuff). Shit like dat

Q: Oh, also, will the Steam version be Workshop compatible? That'd really help streamline the process of downloading mods.

A: Steam version of FNF will likely NOT be Steam workshop compatible, because we want all the mods to NOT be spread out through different places. There WILL be modding support that is as streamlined as Steam workshop though. Mainly for non-steam versions of the game!

Q: Are there any chances that the game will have a physical release? Also any updates on a switch port? I remember one of you guys talking/joking about it.

A: Not impossible for FNF to get a physical release. We would want to see how far we could go with it though. I think it'd be super easy to do something wit people like LimitedRun games or whatev, but I think stuff like that can only go so far. I wanna see Funkin in mf Walmart!!!!!!

not that LimitedRun isn't going to be an option! Just we consider and pursue many different things! FNF release is years away, so we have time to think about everything. Whole mindset can be different just a few months from now.

Q: Out of curiosity, how are you dealing with all the popularity? It blew up so fast id barely be able to handle it if I was in your shoes.

A: The only way I've been able to handle it is having the other boys on the crew and being able to talk to them about all the overwhelmingness.

Part of it feels very lonesome, feels like NO ONE can come close to comprehending exactly how I'm feeling, except them. also other PALS!!!

Q: Do you own any of the bootleg FNF merchandise? Like any bootleg plushies or anything?

A: i dont, i genuinely think they r a waste of money, and I know any bootleg shit that gets made, we can prob go about and make it, and make it 100x cooler because we actually put effort into shit. bootleg shit just in it for the coin, so they aint gettin that from me

Q: How did you go about getting in contact with sr pelo for skid and pumps vocals?

A: Pelo i think was familiar and pals wit PhantomArcade a bit thru various Newgrounds things and collabs and whatnot.

pelo retweeted the first OG FNF posts first ever, and brought a LOT of attention to it. to pay him back, we put skid and pump in game! ask dave for more info prob

Q: what's the plan for having the full ass game open source if it's gonna cost money? couldn't people just download the source and compile the game for free?

A: when FNF is fully released, the full source code will be released as well.

the game will be DRM free so it will be way easier for people to redistribute the released/offical .exe instead of compiling it, so that's not the issue anyways. people will pay for things if they like it

Q: What are the chances of it getting on consoles like switch or Playstation, ps5 would definitely be my preferred way to play

A: it'd be a matter of hiring someone to build out backend stuff for those specific consoles. someone who knows their way around all the wacky code stuff, AND knows console hardware stuff. Then its just a matter of hittin up those console manufacturers (Sony, Microsoft, or Nintendo)

the CLOSEST one is SWITCH. pretty much all of that backend is already made, so it just a matter of gettin all that access and shit.

i think in any case though, there's a lot of NDA stuff required, i dunno how much we'd be able to talk about it even IF we get that stuf sorted

Q: any ideas of releasing it on epic store or another platform?

A: Right now, the only thing that is 100% confirmed and WILL happen is a Steam version, itchio version, and mobile versions on respective app stores. Other storefronts aren't out of the picture though, but we don't want to spread ourselves too thin with it.

Q: Will you continue using HaxeFlixel to make the rest of FNF?

A: yes, because it is what I'm the most technically proficient in, and generally is VERY flexible. just a matter of ME becoming a better coder. It's ALL open source, so if I need something done a certain way, either I can do it, or we can hire someone to do it.

Q: have you seen game theory's videos on your game yet and if so, what do you think about them? (not talking about his predictions because i dont want spoilers. i like mystery)

A: it is always good silly fun to watch the Game Theory vids about Funkin with some pals, and see what matpat thinks of the game. i lov the vids, but wish he used my face less! Or at least used a cuter pic of me like this one!!

Q: Ok so: What does the future of FNF look like to you?

A: future of FNF is a rhythm game that not only exceeds every expectation that people have of it, but subverts most expectations and conventions as well.

Q: Do you plan on retouching on older weeks once the game is fully out? Like reanimating sprites, redoing some charting, updating the background, etc

A: retouching and probably overhauling certain aspects is almost definitely gonna happen. Everything is fluid and can be changed (and should be changed when necessary). i dont think anything should be too attached to, especially this early on in development

Q: I honestly do not care if the answer to this is vague as hell to keep surprises and shit lol but… Since Week 7 was the closest we’ll get to a playable girlfriend (still bf controlling tho), do you have plans to make girlfriend playable in spin-off things or just freeplay?

A: wouldnt be out of the picture for a playable GF, i don't think we've had some hard thing AGAINST it. just a matter of what we want out of the game, and what sort of story or whatev we could do with that concept

Q: How do BF and GF manage to meet famous newgrounds characters (such as pico, tankman and the others to come) like is this all in one universe/ timeline or are they being brought in?

A: i think they are all just there existing. i think there's a lot of wacky things in other media that try to justify crossovers, like MULTIVERSE bullshit or TIMELINE shit, but i dunno, its like subspace emissary. Captain Falcon and Olimar from Pikmin just hang out. Shit like dat

disclaimer that all lore shit is in phantomarcade head pretty much and maybe there is wacky dimensions or somethin

Q: Will the game have dlc?

A: its not too unlikely that we'd have expansions of some sort, but i mean right now we plan on packing in as much as we can into base game, and trying to make that as pure as possible.

if there is ANY dlc, i would personally want it to be 100% free updates

Q: How did you meet Phantom Arcade, Kawai Sprite, and EvilSker? And what do you think about the community and its controversies?

A: me and phantomarcade been fukin around NG for years so years and years ago we naturally crossed paths and became pals

about 2 years ago i found kawaisprites music on NG, and started talkin wit him, made Ritz wit him and we fell in lov

and evilsk8r i met cuz of FNF!!!

quik elaborate on evilsk8r, wanted artist for gamejam FNF was for (ludum dare), and OG person i asked wasnt available, so he referred me to evilsk8r, who I have never met or talked to before ever.

#friday night funkin #fnf #fridaynightfunkin

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cat-in-a-fedora · 4 years

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Reunion Falls

I think I found something for the reunion falls au of Gravity Falls on the original creator’s blog. The reblog and like functionalities weren’t working for some reason, and I couldn’t find it in the creator’s archive. I really like this, though, so I’m gonna put it here and give credit.

This was originally on @sailorleo, and I couldn’t reblog it for some reason.

`-i dunno, he’s like, really weirdly clingy, but when we’re together all he wants to do is talk about his band…

-dump him.

-dipper that’s the same advice you’ve given me for every boyfriend i’ve ever had

-then why don’t you ask mabel?

-fine, maybe i will. mabel, what do you-

-no actually i think dipper’s right you should dump him

-teen soos playing with baby dipper and getting all excited when he says his name

-it would work better if stan actually knew mabel was coming beforehand, but just couldn’t work up the nerve to tell dipper until the last minute. by some fluke, mabel arrives a day early, and makes contact with dipper while stan is out.

-stan tells dipper that at the time of his birth his parents weren’t expecting twins, and couldn’t afford to take care of two children at once. he only told the kid they were dead because he thought it might be easier to handle than the idea that his parents didn’t want him.

–

-what are you still doing up?

-’m makin’ a sweater for grenda. she’s bigger than me, so it’s taking longer. you had a nightmare?

-no big deal, it was just an anxiety dream.

-a what?

-it’s like a nightmare, but instead of being scary it just makes all your deepest insecurities a reality. grunkle stan says they’re the brain’s way of reminding you that life could always be worse.

-…that sounds dumb.

-yeah, well, life isn’t fair, mabel.

–

-that corduroy girl out sick today or somethin’?

-what? um, no! i was just, uh… i tripped. on a rock. a lot of rocks.

-oh c'mon, kid, you think i never got the snot kicked outta me in elementary school? i know a fist to the face when i see it. c'mere, let’s fix you up.

–

-what can i do, though? they’re all bigger than me, and if i tell the teacher i’ll just look like even more of a wimp.

-ha! if you don’t wanna look like a wimp, you should stop letting other people fight your battles for ya.

-but i can’t-

-now hold on. i know you can’t, you’ve got about as many muscles as a soggy piece of toast. but one thing i know about the world is that guys who were born bigger, stronger, and smarter are always gonna punch down. and guys like you an’ me are stuck right at the bottom like old gum. so if your wits can’t save ya, all there is to do is punch back up.

-….do you mean that metaphorically, or….

-i was wondering when i’d have to dig these old things up again! …see, kid, all I’m trying to say is, when the world fights, you gotta learn to fight back.

–

-oh, shit. we’re not getting anywhere like this.

-*gasp* dipper!!

-what??

-you just said the ’s’ word!

-so? we’re practically teenagers, mabel. we can swear.

-i have friends back home who won’t even say ‘crap’! you must be getting it from somewhere

-i don’t know what you-

-[wendy enters] AYYYYYY DICKWEEDS WHAT’S FUCKIN HAPPENING

–

-ugh, sorry about all that, man. i don’t know why robbie’s always such an asshole to you.

-you don’t think he’s like…..jealous of me, do you?

-HA! ohhhhh my god. oh my god you’re probably right.

-what, does he think I’m gonna like, steal you away? like he’s INTIMIDATED by me? …that feels kinda good, actually.

-oh man, can you imagine? dipper pines, casanova extraordinaire! refined older women such as myself just….COLLAPSING at your feet!

–

-grunkle stan, um…. where are my parents?

-uhh……….. they died.

-oh…. how did they die?

-they………………died.

–

-you know when you’re wearing just the vest without a sweater you kinda look like……. someone. it’ll come to me

–

-mabel, what did you do to the journal????

-what? you told me to pretend it was my diary!

-i said to PRETEND it was your diary, not actually use it as a diary!! you didn’t mess with the stuff inside, did you?

[cut to: a shot of the interior of the journal, filled with stickers and cute little drawings and tiny diary entries about boys and the like]

-…….nnnnnnnope.

–

-if you’re going to be a monster hunter, you’ve got to have a look.

-hey, i’ve already got THAT covered

-no, i mean a look that tells people you mean business. like what i’ve got!

-what’s more businesslike than a leopard wearing sunglasses?

-i can think of a few things. what about like, a jacket? or…. a jacket? something besides a big fluffy sweater.

-listen dip, we’ve only known each other for a few days so i’ll let you off the hook this time. but first rule of mabel? the sweater STAYS.

-ugh, fine, but you’re gonna overheat. hey, what about this? it’s big enough to wear over a sweater. and it’s got pockets!

-but does it have PERSONALITY?

-you can decorate it or whatever i don’t care.

–

-mabel, have you seen my gel?

-nope. why do you gel your hair, anyway?

-i don’t want my bangs to cover my birthmark.

-can’t you just cut them off?

-it’s part of the look.

-ohhh, the 'look’.

–

-soooooo dipper had a crush on you, huh?

-haha, yuuuuuup. he thought he was being super smooth about it too. 100% convinced i had no idea. oh shit, dude, you wanna see this valentines card he made me when he was like, seven?

-you KNOW i do!

-boom! check it. all the blackmail you’ll ever need on one piece of construction paper.

-oh my gosshhhhhhhhh…..wait, "love, ty"?

-oh yeah, ol’ dipstick used to go by 'tyrone’ before he was dipper. just between you and me, dipper suits him better. tyrone is too cool for him.

-why’d he switch?

-dunno, really. he used to hate his birthmark, people would make fun of him for it, yknow? and then one day he just started being super cool with it. he like, reinvented his entire image around the thing. you should’ve seen him before that though, always brushing his bangs down over his forehead… well, at least he puts some effort into his appearance now.

–

-FUCK!

-KID!

-oh no.

-where’d you learn language like that?

-i… uh….

–…..wasn’t from me, was it?

-n-no! it was from…. nobody! i mean, you hear stuff around, and-

-WAHAHA! this is great! now i don’t have to keep my mouth shut around ya! and it isn’t even my fault!

–

-mabel, take out the trash

-booooooo!

-…aren’t you going to do what he said?

-sure, just as soon as i finish kicking dipper’s butt!

-i will dance on your grave, mabel.

-but…he’s your uncle. you should listen to him before he gets mad, right?

-pff, what’s ol’ stan gonna do, throw his dentures at me? (don’t tempt me, kid) half the fun of being a kid is not doing what adults tell you to do! consequences be darned.

-…paz, really, stan loves us. he’s not gonna like, hit me or anything. yikes.

–

-dipper, seriously, what the heck happened between you and gideon!

-i told you, nothing! he’s just a creep.

-oh, is THAT why he won’t stop talking about you? even on our dates! it’s WEIRD. ….you two aren’t like, exes or-

-ew, no!

-haHA! you dated gideon! gideon and dip-per sittin’ in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-

-we were FRIENDS, okay?? …sort of. i dunno. it was a long time ago.

-heyoooo my drama senses are tingling! now you HAVE to tell me! deets deets deets!

-uuugggghhhhhh fine

-dipper and gideon have been rivals since childhood, but back then it was on somewhat friendlier terms. they would get each other in trouble, start fights over nothing, ruin each other’s stuff, but they would always walk away with smiles on their faces, like an unspoken pact to annoy the shit out of each other forever. but things started to change after gideon found journal 2. dipper didn’t see him around with the other kids as often. his tactics got nastier. he started “winning” more often. things came to a head after stan started teaching dipper to box. one day when dipper and wendy were hanging out together, they ran into gideon, who took the opportunity to tease them mercilessly. when he started going after wendy, dipper socked him, hard, in the nose. “i dunno. i was really mad, but i think i also just wanted to prove i was strong. wendy was always protecting me, so i wanted to protect her back.” after that point, gideon declared them mortal enemies.

-stan and wendy were definitely elated at the fact that dipper punched gideon. stan probably tried to bake him a cake.

–

DOUBLE DIPPER

“BAM! look out party, this girl’s on a mission! and that mission is to find a summer getaway friend group. woah, huddling crowd of teenagers! that’s perfect!”

-paz is talking with everyone listening when mabel interrupts her. “heyo! guess who’s here, it’s mabel, and that’s me.” “…..that’s great, sweetheart.”

-mabel is really excited to make new friends at the party, but most everyone starts hanging around pacifica. mabel tries to make friends with pacifica but paz rejects her, saying “listen, youre new so i’ll fill you in. it might seem like people like you and are interested in you because youre 'quirky’ or whatever, but you’re just a cheap novelty. around here? i’m the one who matters. nobody ignores pacifica northwest. adoring fans?” paz snaps her fingers and the crowd begins to shove mabel out of the circle until she finally falls on the empty dance floor. defeated, mabel shuffles off to the only people not part of the crowd (candy and grenda) “you too, huh?” “don’t worry. when we burn, we burn together.” paz then steps up to the mic and points at them, shouting “hey everyone, check out this adorable new attraction! it’s the reject corner!”

“aww, we don’t need this. the true merit of a partymaster is knowing how to take the party with you. this calls for an impromptu sleepover!”

-mabel offers to cheer up her new friends by ditching the party and having a sleepover instead, candy remarks that they were planning a post-party sleepover together anyway, grenda says how she stole a raunchy romance novel from her mom- wolfman bare-chest. grenda shows off that the book has a full-color illustration of gerard, candy remarks how she wants one of her own, mabel remembers that they have an old copy machine downstairs.

-“i don’t understand. i’m having fun, but i still feel this burning desire to go back downstairs and make her suffer for her crimes. crimes against friendship and partying.” “hey, i know what’ll curb that thirst for vengeance! theft! look what i stole from my mom’s bedside table!” “grenda, you wild girl! this is perfect!” “and it comes with a full-color illustration! his pecs are holographic!” *all three girls scream* “aah!! he is so rugged and brooding, i want to take him home with me and make him my trophy husband!” “ooh, i think we have an old copy machine downstairs! that way we can all keep the poster! come on girls, let’s go make our dreams a reality!”

-the girls end up bringing gerard to life because fuck the laws of reality, he emerges and says “which of you fair maidens brought me into this realm?” candy points to mabel. “girls, i think the party is back on!”

-“hey, fursuit, i don’t know if anyone told you, but this isn’t a costume party. although that would explain YOUR outfit, mabel”, gerard gets angry and tries to defend her by attacking pacifica. pacifica gets a small scratch on her arm and shrieks “are those REAL claws?!” mabel and candy struggle with gerard and finally subdue him (after he loses an arm to the punch bowl) by stuffing him into a closet. “you can come out after you learn to stop being such a butt!!” candy makes some remark about “at least we didn’t make any more!” cut to grenda either using the copy machine or already surrounded by wolf men.

-after the gerard squad starts running wild at the party, mabel gets an idea. “grenda, they’ve already like, werewolf-bonded to you, right? so if you’re in danger, they’ll come and save you!” “..i know what i have to do. hey northwest, be mean to me!” “ok, ok, just… give me a minute. ….hey circus freak, you’ve got arms like a gorilla and a voice like a wrestler, so it’s no wonder that the only boys interested in you are a bunch of wolves!” “…..pacifica, that was really mean.” “YOU TOLD ME TO!!!”

-maybe have pacifica get on the mic again so all the wolves hear her insult

-“grenda I’m sorry you have the body of an amazonian goddess and a voice like ten angels singing one direction!!” “yeah, maybe if one direction were all chain smokers.”

-the girls use this plan to lure the wolfpack into the kitchen, where there’s a sprinkler system connected to the fire alarm. the plan is that once all of the wolves are present, mabel will signal for candy to pull the alarm. however, once mabel gives the signal, it’s revealed that candy has been captured. “i’m sorry, mabel…. their pecs were just so shiny!” “i’m sorry i dragged you into this, pacifica.” “yeah, i’m sorry you dragged me into this, too.” maybe have them cowering on top of the fridge. but just when it looks like all hope is lost, the sprinklers come on anyway. it’s revealed that the first gerard was the one who pulled it, sacrificing himself to save mabel’s life.

-“you will always be in my heart, mabel pines. and i hope…..that i will be in yours…..”

-“well, pacifica, maybe now that we’ve worked together as a team, we can come away from this knowing that our fighting was petty and pointless, having gained a mutual respect.” “are you SERIOUS? all this proves is that you’re a freak, and your friends are freaks, and even though I’m gonna make sure to stay as far away from your little circle of lost causes as possible, the next time we meet? you’re going DOWN, and I’m gonna make sure EVERYONE is watching.” “……welp! i didn’t gain anything from that! maybe next time.”

-“i’m sorry that all this happened, girls. if you don’t wanna hang out with me after this, i get it.” “are you kidding? that was incredible!” “i feel like my heart is on fire! but in a good way!”

-in the aftermath, the girls (sans pacifica) burn the book. as they watch the illustration of gerard smolder, mabel solemnly says “this ends once and for all.” “….my mom’s gonna want that book back.” “once. and. for all.”

IRRATIONAL TREASURE

-pacifica overhears what the twins are trying to do and tails them, then ends up getting captured along with them

-LET ME OUT OF HERE! I AM A NORTHWEST!

-i thought we just established that doesn’t count for anything anymore.

-pacifica yells at mabel for doing something as stupid as leaving a trail of candy wrappers, dipper interrupts to ask her why she always feels the need to shut people down like that. pacifica tells him that its her duty as a woman of status to let everyone know what their place is. “orrrrrr you just feel so threatened by the idea that you’re not as well-liked as you think you are that you need to make everyone else feel bad about themselves.” “WHAT was that?” “threatened?”

-mabel gets her nerve back and yells at pacifica that why would she ever want to be liked by a stuck-up shallow primadonna like her, and throws a hunk of peanut brittle at her, freeing trembly.

-after returning to town, the twins see pacifica being berated by her parents for disappearing and getting her clothes dirty. mabel feels sorry for her and goes over to explain that oh, it was actually my fault, i was trying to uncover dirt on the northwest family and pacifica stepped up to intervene, and we got into a fight. also we totally didnt find anything to shame the northwests so you can thank pacifica for that too. the northwests then threaten to sue the pines family for hurting their daughter, but paz holds them back, saying something about how it isnt worth it to waste time on poor people like mabel.

-this is the start of mabel and pacifica’s budding friendship, and pacifica’s redemption arc

SUMMERWEEN

-hey, little man!

-oh, hey wendy! ….and robbie.

-so….. chilling in the bushes without a costume on? what’s that about?

-nah, i’d say he’s got a pretty solid 'loser’ costume lined up already.

-i’m just hanging out with mabel and her friends, i guess. this big legendary monster thing says its gonna eat us unless we collect 500 pieces of candy but y'know. no worries.

-sick, dude. and you didn’t even have to go out and find this thing yourself? your sis must be like, a monster magnet.

-yeah, she…really is.

-well, i’d help you with the mission if i could, but i’ve got this whole 'aloof teenager’ thing to keep up, yknow? no trick-or-treating for these old bones. but I’ve got a few extra sweets in my purse if you need some more handouts! we can go find mabel, and-

-NO! i-i mean… no, don’t find her, its ok, i got it, give it to me.

-woah, chill out, you little freak! you’re not HIDING from her, are you? …is everything ok? and don’t say it is, because nobody sweats that much when everything’s ok. not even you.

-……i dunno, it’s like, i don’t mind having her around, but we’re always together and she wants us to do all these “twin” things now and I’m just not sure I’m ready for it yet.

-yeah, i getcha. its gotta be a lot to take in. hey, if you need somewhere to decompress after this whole candy deathmatch thing is over, tambry’s throwing a party at her house in a few. text me when you’re free?

-just try not to dork up the place if you show.

-robbie, if you don’t lay off I’m gonna punch you in the dick.

-i just….. twins are supposed to have this special bond, y'know? like a mind meld or something. and i just feel like i’ve missed so much. things could've….should’ve been different. and i came here because i wanted to make things the way they were supposed to be. i thought like, maybe if we were together we could pretend that its the way things always were and everything was ok. but i cant. its not.

-yeah, i… i’m sorry, mabel. everything just happened so fast, and i couldn’t handle it, and i avoided thinking about it, and….i ended up avoiding you, too. i’ve been kind of a crummy brother so far, huh?

-no, no, i get it…. i’m weird, and this is weird, and you’re one of those weird people who likes to be by yourself. and i understand if you don’t want to be siblings. but… can we at least be friends?

-i don’t see why we can’t be both.

TOURIST TRAPPED

-hey, mabel, i was wondering, uh…… how did our parents die?

-woah, what? they’re not dead! are they?? you’re freaking me out, dipper!

-'sup, hambone?

-oh, hey….. soos, right?

-you got it, lil’ dude! so, what’s eating you? besides the mosquitos anyway. nice, good one soos.

-soos, have you ever tried to do something that you thought would make everyone really happy, but instead it just blows up in your face and everything is awful and it’s all your fault?

-story of my life, dude. probably not on this scale though. just a minor everyday occurrence.

-they probably hate me, don’t they?

-what? no way! i just met you a few hours ago and i can already tell you’re like the least hateable dude I’ve ever met. you’re like if they found a way to combine a smiling puppy with an anime fairy princess.

-but i ruined everything!! that’s what they’ll call me in the history books. mabel, queen of ruining everything. everyone was fine until i got here.

-it’s not your fault, dude. mr. pines had to tell dipper at some point. and dude, if it makes you feel any better, i am PSYCHED to have you here. i was telling customers about it all day!

-thanks, soos, but…. i should probably just go home. maybe if I’m gone dipper and stan can just forget this ever happened and go back to normal.

-you kidding, dog? nothing’s ever normal around here. i know this is like, a huge bombshell, but dipper and stan love each other. they’ll work it out. …hey, my brain just came up with a totally neato idea! why don’t we pitch a tent and have a sleepover out here under the stars? we could swap stories, eat raw marshmallows, and if you still want to go home tomorrow morning you can.

-….only if you’ll try to throw the marshmallows into my mouth with your eyes closed.

-deal.

-hey, mom. yeah i got here ok! it’s great, the woods around here are so cool and mysterious! oh, and i met this really cute guy but he turned out to be a bunch of gnomes under a hoodie. i know!! wild, right!

-h-hey mabel….can i….talk to them?

-…oh, mom, dipper wants to talk to you. is that ok?

-….hi, mo- ..mrs pines. it’s dipper.

-“oh, you must be the friend mabel was talking about! she was so excited to meet you! i hope you two are having fun!”

-yeah, it's…. it’s good to have her here.

-“are you all right, dear? you’re sniffling.”

-yeah, i’ve just got a cold. it’s ok.

THE HAND THAT ROCKS THE MABEL

-mabel sees a commercial for the tent of telepathy on tv and gets excited, pulling dipper over to see the famous “psychic”. dipper is annoyed at best and just groans, expositing that he and gideon have been rivals since they were little. he says he’s been trying to catch gideon in the act of something, ANYTHING, for as long as he can remember, and now with the help of mabel’s journal he’s devised a new theory: that gideon might actually be a vampire! he’s always coated in lotion, has stark white hair, speaks like an old southern man, and it might also explain his psychic powers. but dipper isn’t allowed in the tent of telepathy anymore, and he hasn’t been able to get close to gideon in his personal life. mabel offers to go investigate in dipper’s place, but he warns her that it’s not worth it and gideon is a “creep”, offhandedly mentioning that mabel probably doesn’t have the investigative skills necessary to crack the case on her own. determined to prove herself, mabel goes anyway, in “disguise” as a journalist so she can ask gideon questions when the show is over. during the questioning gideon becomes enamored with her, and when mabel asks if he’s a vampire he flirts around the issue, suggesting that he is simply to win mabel over. it works, and she agrees to go on a date with him.

-mabel takes notes on gideon’s mannerisms in the journal while on dates

-over time, gideon begins to reveal his true colors, and mabel realizes that dating a supposed vampire doesn’t really make up for gideon’s behavior.

-actually i changed my mind about the vampire plot, probably dipper just tries to keep mabel away from gideon because of their checkered past together

BOYZ CRAZY

“….can i confess something?”

“yeah, of course.”

“I’ve never like….. LIKED anyone. I’ve dated plenty of guys, and even a couple girls, but i don’t think i felt what i was supposed to be feeling for any of them. i thought that eventually if i went out with enough people, i would start to like at least one of them, but…. i dunno. I’m starting to think that i’ll never fall in love. maybe i CANT fall in love.”

“well… that’s not the end of the world! love kinda. sucks. especially when someone doesn’t like you back.”

“ugh, that’s what I’ve been doing to all these people! for years! i suck. i keep trying to be like everyone else, but i just end up pushing people away. I’ve lost so many friends…”

“hey, it’s not your fault. robbie’s a turd, you know that.”

“yeah, i guess you’re right… i dunno, you ever feel like there’s something, like, fundamentally wrong with you? like something fucked up in the womb and now you can’t ever be a normal person?”

[dipper pulls up his shirt slightly, looking at his binder]

“yeah. i do”

DREAMSCAPERERS

bill: I WAS WONDERING WHEN I’D RUN INTO YOU! QUESTION MARK, SHOOTING STAR…. AND DIPPER OF COURSE!

mabel: whoa, hey, how come soos and i get special names, but not dipper? that’s not fair!

dipper: uh, mabel, that’s not really-

bill: THAT IS HIS SPECIAL NAME, KID! ALWAYS HAS BEEN. HE JUST ADOPTED IT A LITTLE EARLY IS ALL.

dipper: wait, what?. you…you were the one in my dreams? all this time, it was YOU?

-new scene-

dipper: it’s just… the name was a big part of my like, identity, yknow? i thought it was so cool and special and for the first time in my life i was starting to feel NOT like a freak. i thought i was being cool but i was just doing exactly what bill wanted! [pulls his jacket over his head] aaaargh, what have i been doing all this time?!

mabel: di- …..bro, listen to me. your whole like, supreme tough guy monster hunter thing? it’s PRETTY silly. but that’s what i like about it! it’s all you, and you own it! and nobody chose to make you like that but you! and you didnt choose the name dipper because bill told you to, right? that was still all you. so, i don’t know. even if the guy who made it up turned out to be kiiiiiiind of a major jerk i dont think that means all of that is ruined forever. and if you stop going by dipper i’m going to have to start going by shooting star as revenge. star for short!

dipper: ….i think i like you as mabel better.

mabel: aww no, i was already getting used to it! star sounds like the name of a princess, doesnt it? or a galactic warrior!

-BUT DON’T YOU WORRY YOUR GEL-COVERED LITTLE HEAD, KID! I WON’T BE BOTHERING YOU LIKE THAT AGAIN. YOU’VE PROVEN YOURSELF TO BE EXTREMELY DISAPPOINTING AND USELESS. CONGRATS.

SCARY-OKE

-in this case obviously dipper wouldn’t want the agents around, since stan has taught him better than that.

-dipper decides that he’s finally ready to talk to his birth parents over the phone, but when he does they insist that they never had twins and mabel has always been an only child, and he realizes they don’t know who he is. everything he knows is once again called into question.

-mabel tries to get the agents’ help in figuring out the mystery behind dipper’s birth and proving that the two of them are siblings

-maybe dipper raises the dead as a way to threaten stan? like, oh you’re so afraid of the supernatural, what if i do this

-or mabel tries to lure the agents back to the shack by creating a supernatural disaster, like oh, say, zombies

-stan finally admits, with zombies breaking down the door, that he got mixed up with the supernatural and made some very bad decisions, although he isn’t specific about what happened. he relinquishes that he kept the truth from dipper all these years not for his sake, but because he couldn’t bear to admit that he was responsible for separating dipper from the family he should’ve grown up with.

THE GOLF WAR

-mabel and pacifica run into each other at the mini golf course, and after watching mabel sink the winning shot pacifica realizes she has feelings for her. furious with herself for developing a crush on somebody like mabel, pacifica challenges her to a rematch and vows to destroy her.

-dipper and stan are worried about pacifica’s behavior, but mabel assures them that she probably just wants a little one-on-one game and had to disguise it as a fight to the death since her parents were with her.

-pacifica gets to the golf course early to get some extra practice in, discovers the lilliputtians, and decides to use them to win against mabel, convinced that if she proves to herself that she’s better then her crush will go away.

-mabel becomes concerned with pacifica’s attitude and worried that she’s gone back to her old ways, bribing somebody to help her cheat. eventually she’s captured and tied up, and pacifica has to save her.

-in the aftermath, pacifica can’t stomach apologizing, so mabel does it for her. “hold on, dip. i think i know what’s going on here.” “what? no. you definitely don’t. whatever you’re about to say about me is completely and totally wrong.” “so i just want to let you know, pacifica…. it’s ok. i understand.” “understand what there’s nothing to understand” “yes there is! and i’ve felt that way before, too. even about you sometimes.” “wh…..huh? you have?” “yeah! all that pressure to compete really gets to you sometimes. but just because i beat you at something it doesn’t mean that you’re any less cool than you were before., ok? so i don’t want you to feel like you have to prove that!” “oh. yeah. yeah, that. yeah.” [awkward pause] “soooo…. you don’t hate me?” “of course not!” “ok good. that’s like, good to know. i don’t hate you either.”

-theyre playing truth or dare and mabel dares dipper to hold candy’s hand for the rest of the night

-mabifica bullshit: 'let me see those beautiful eyes’, holding hands post-confession in nmm, arguing about whether or not to run off into the woods together at night

THE LOVE GOD

-during a conversation with wendy, dipper casually mentions that he’d like a girlfriend. mabel overhears and decides to try and pair him up with someone. she enlists the help of candy and grenda for this secret mission, but notices that candy seems uncomfortable with it. eventually she admits that she’s had a crush on dipper for a while, and mabel is ecstatic. she conspires to set them up on a date at the woodstick festival. candy makes mabel promise not to tell dipper, but of course she can’t keep her mouth shut and blurts it out while the two are having breakfast at the diner. mabel expects dipper to leap at the chance, but instead he just feels awkward. he tells mabel that although he likes candy and thinks she’s great, he’s never thought of her like that. mabel urges him to give her a chance, but dipper argues that it will end badly. he spots candy nearby, freaks out, and runs for cover. it’s at this point that mabel meets the love god.

NORTHWEST MANSION MYSTERY

-“….and grenda can take a hit pretty well so she’d be the best choice for a distraction while i spray 'em with the anointed water from behind, but we might need pacifica to-”

“actually, dip, i was gonna ask if i could handle this one on my own.”

“what? why? we don’t know how powerful this ghost is!”

“because i, the wonderful mabel pines, am going to confess my love for pacifica tonight!”

“you only realized you liked her two days ago!”

“exactly! no time to waste when romance is afoot!”

“you don’t even know if pacifica LIKES girls!”

“well i don’t know if she likes BOYS either. she always seemed kinda indifferent to-

"even if she does, what if she doesn’t like you back? and you know what her parents are like, they probably wouldn’t want her dating another girl anyway…”

“why do you always have to shoot me down like this”

“…..i’m sorry, mabel… i just don’t want you to get hurt again.”

-“we did it!” “haha, yes!!”

-(internally) “this is the perfect moment, mabel, just go for it!”

-“umm, pacifica? now that we just beat this big scary ghostman together, there’s something i wanted to-”

-“YOU’LL PAY FOR THIS, FOOLISH CHILD”

-“….on second thought, I’m gonna go exorcise screamsville here first.”

-“that’s probably a good idea”

-{“WITCH! SERVANT OF EVIL!”}

-“i’m sorry. i didn’t want you to know this about me.”

-“ok, so, your family’s gotten mixed up in some bad stuff, that doesn’t mean-”

-“no, it does. you’ve always been so nice to me, and i never did anything to deserve it… hanging out with you, and dipper, and everyone, hanging around the shack….i started to realize that this isn’t normal. my parents aren't……normal. and now I’m just so scared that no matter what i do, i’ll end up just like them.”

-“….pacifica. i know you. your outsides may be crusted over with gold coins and expensive body lotion and hairspray, but your insides are made of bubbles and kitten kisses and rainbow dolphins high-fiving each other. your parents are a couple of stinky poo-heads inside and out and you’re not anything like them.”

[pacifica, crying, kisses her]

-“oh no. this was a mistake. I’m leaving.”

-“pacifICA WAIT”

-“what would you say if i said i was in love with you?”

-“i’d say you only wanted me for my money”

-“oh pacifica, your heart is gold enough to last me a lifetime!”

-“shhhhhpsshh stop!!”

-[mabel kisses her on the cheek]

-“no but really stop i don’t want my parents to see”

-“ohhh yeah sorry”

THE LAST MABELCORN

-things start out much like they do in canon, but when mabel meets the unicorn and it tells her that she’s not pure of heart she jumps to the conclusion that bill has “tainted” her in some way by taking over her body. the abuse metaphors here are obvious. she sadly returns home and begs ford to help her in some way, and he takes her down to his study. meanwhile, dipper sets back out with the girls in mabel’s place.

-“…..but it wasn’t me….” “what?” “i…..i have to go.” “mabel, wait!”

have it so like, she’s not necessarily visibly distraught when she talks to ford, or even to her friends, but more determined to “fix” herself, hiding the worry that she’s a bad person beneath her insistence that it must be bill’s fault.

“GRUNKLE FORD! bill gunked up my soul and i need you to fix it so i can be pure of heart again!” “…mabel…” “please please please PLEEEAASE!”

-“no offense, but you break the law daily, you two have kind of a…. mutual violent streak, and you……” “don’t say anything.” “and if being involved with bill really did disqualify mabel, then I’ve been doomed for years.” “you’re also not a 'maiden.’” “good point.”

-“man, this is bullshit.” “i know. how are we gonna find someone more pure than mabel?” “no, i mean. the game’s rigged. nobody’s completely 'pure of heart’ or whatever, and how do you even measure that? that glitter-snorting poser doesn’t ever have to give up the goods because she’s asking for something that doesn’t exist.” “…so how do we get the hair?” “well, i say if princess unattainabelle back there doesn’t wanna play fair, we shouldn’t have to either. alright, kids, who’s ready to add a few more bad deeds to the naughty list?” “YEAH!”

-meanwhile, mabel’s mind begins to be encoded. “i can’t undo what’s already been done, mabel. but i can make it a lot harder for bill to hurt you again.”

-mabel’s thoughts: “do you a favor” “have craz and xyler ever kissed?” “adopt every kitten in the world” “PACIFICA PACIFICA PACIFICA”

-mabel ends up putting the helmet on ford because she starts to have intrusive thoughts worrying that he could be possessed by bill, and she decides that proving herself wrong would put them to rest. “ugh, shut UP, brain! this is why we don’t talk anymore.”

-when mabel reads his thoughts, she freaks out and, unlike dipper, actually succeeds in hitting ford with the memory gun. he’s knocked to the ground and she approaches him cautiously as he rises back to his feet. when he explains that he’s not bill and the gun didn’t work anyway, mabel starts crying and hugs him. “its ok, mabel. you did the right thing. when dealing with an enemy like bill, you can’t fully trust anyone, not even the people closest to you. …maybe if i’d known that when i was younger, we wouldn’t be in this mess now.”

-“….i’m a bad person.” “oh come on, you don’t still believe that unicorn, do you? i thought dipper told you she was full of it.” “no, i… did something really bad today. i thought bill did something to gunk up my heart but it was really just me all along.” “wow, what did you do?” “nn. you’d hate me if i told you.” “mabel, you could kill a dog in front of me and i wouldn’t hate you. and if you don’t tell me i’ll just assume the worst.” “i AM the worst.” “ohhhh my god. …..ok, let’s say that bill did break your soul for all eternity or whatever. so what? you’re still my girlfriend. and in case you haven’t noticed, i’m pretty messed up too.”

ROADSIDE ATTRACTION

-“aww, come on! think about it…. just us girls, alone under the stars…” “eww, fine! i’ll come if you stop being gross”

-“i can’t believe my own sister got a girlfriend before me!”

-“romance ain’t a contest, kid.”

-“…yeah, you’re probably r-”

-“just kidding its definitely a contest. one you’re losing.”

-“he was… flirting with me! i think he actually likes me back!”

-“AAAAAAAAA!!” “get it, girl!” “candy wins!” “i wouldn’t get your hopes up, chiu. he’s probably just being a tool.”

-“pacifica, how could you?” “why must you deny true love?” “hey, dipper’s my friend and i think he’s great, but he sucks. I’m just being realistic.”

-“oh, no. i think i just agreed to take candy out on a date.”

-“….aaaaand do you LIKE her?”

-“well, yeah…………….as a fr-”

-“UGGGGGHHHHHH I KNEW IT. listen, 'dopper’, you got yourself into this mess, and its not up to me to help get you out. you deserve it for toying with a woman’s feelings, anyway.”

“candy…. saved my life. even after i broke her heart. she’s so cool…………………………………oh, SHIT.”

-“it’s ok, dipper. if dating pacifica has taught me anything, its that the way to a woman’s heart is through emotional angst and near-death experiences. and we get those every day!”

-“you deserve this and i have no sympathy for you.”

–

DIPPER AND MABEL VS THE FUTURE

same basic setup, with mabel hitting up all her friends for party plans, but the focus is on having to return home without all the friends she’s made rather than anxiety about growing up (although that’s still a factor). in addition to discovering candy and grenda won’t be around, she also finds that pacifica’s parents are becoming suspicious of her frequent outings so she’s trying to lay low for a little while, so she won’t be able to hang out for the last week of summer.

ford invites dip along for the alien hunt, and doesn’t exactly offer dipper the chance to be his apprentice, but is impressed with his adventuring skills and the fact that dipper has been training in the art of mystery solving for years. au dipper is quite a bit braver than canon dipper after all, and quicker to spring into action right after ford. theres still a bit of hesitation involved, and when ford praises him for his courage, he laughs and remarks that mabel would’ve jumped right away without any thought. ford then confides in dipper that although mabel uses her heart before her head, he can still see how scared she is inside and thinks it would be best for mabel to return home and cease connection with gravity falls, because he’s seen first-hand how much bill has hurt her already and he doesn’t want it to get any worse. he also tells dipper that he can tell mabel’s heart isn’t in any kind of study or quest for knowledge like he is, she’s just a kid having fun, and he can tell that its mostly because she wants to impress dipper and it might be better for her to focus her energy on her own interests, which can’t happen if she stays in gravity falls. dipper reluctantly agrees, saying that he’s always sort of worried about the same thing. of course, this is the part that mabel hears over the walkie-talkie.

for all that mabel and ford’s relationship is better, he still sees her as a child while he sees dipper as more of an equal. he warns dipper that letting mabel become dependent on him, or he on her, is a bad idea, because one day they’re going to have to go their separate ways, and mabel might not be able to handle it (implying that she’ll do something drastic to keep him around, like stan did to him).

theres a scene midway through the episode of pacifica sulking on her bed, hugging a pillow to her face. her mother’s voice calls her for dinner from downstairs, and she groans and gets up. looking in the mirror, she realizes her mascara has run and she scoffs and rubs at her eyes. when she opens them up again, the mirror is full of eyes. “something wrong, blondie?” it cuts off there

after mabel runs away into the woods at the end of the episode, pacifica emerges from the bushes in her full incognito gear, saying she came to warn her about bill. that bill tried to make a deal with her but she refused everything he offered, and that he’s getting desperate and is going to try again with someone else, probably before the summer ends. she tells mabel that if neither of their families want them, they’ll run away, out of gravity falls, together. when mabel realizes she has the rift, she groans, annoyed that she has to go back home and return it. but pacifica insists that this actually makes the plan better, that if they leave gravity falls with the rift it can be kept safer… and that, maybe it would be better if pacifica held onto it, since bill is targeting mabel. mabel agrees and hands it over…. at which point pacifica takes a moment to admire it, and then smashes it to the ground. she laughs, takes off her sunglasses, and is revealed to have been possessed by bill. then the world ends.

WEIRDMAGEDDON 1

-after ford is captured, dipper runs into grenda, as in literally runs into her, while she’s attempting to chase a monster in process of carrying off candy. the two travel together for the next three days, finally deciding to explore the mall in search of mabel and the others. on the way there, though, the two are ambushed by bill’s lackeys. before the fight can begin, grenda tosses dipper out of harm’s way and shouts for him to go on without her while she holds off the monsters. dipper reluctantly escapes, leaving grenda to an ambiguous fate.

-during that time, candy finds pacifica huddled in a pile of rubble, and urges her to come help find the others, but she’s reluctant. “look, mabel’s not here anymore, alright?! she’s gone. bill got her. so you can stop pretending to like me.” “candy does not pretend. not when it comes to friendship.” “….if you just left me here, nobody would have to know.” “on your feet, northwest.”

“augh, my poor hair… it’s got like, twigs and shit in it.” “do you want me to cut it off?” “what? no. why would i do that.” “it’s a symbol! in stories, girls cut off their long hair when they are going on journeys and breaking free, leaving the past behind… it is cool and majestic and– pacifica, YOU should cut off MY hair!” “wait, seriously? …ok, whatever, fine, do your weird impulsive nerd thing. you got any like, scissors?” “let me see….. six, seven, eight pairs! i also have a knife.” “candy, what the fuck.”

-dipper finds wendy, pacifica, and candy all hiding together in the mall. dipper is surprised and relieved to find that candy is safe and she talks about how she bit the monster’s hand to get it to free her, proudly revealing that one of her teeth has turned completely red as a result. dipper admits what happened to grenda, and while pacifica and wendy look worried, candy remains adamant that she’s strong and will be all right. hesitantly, dipper asks if any of them have seen mabel. the room goes quiet, and pacifica confesses what happened, that bill came to her and threatened to possess and torture mabel again if she didn’t let him use her body. she thought that if she agreed, she’d become a ghost like mabel did and be able to use a puppet as a vessel in time to warn somebody. instead she simply blacked out, and when she came to she was just in time to see mabel being sealed in a bubble and taken away.

-at some point pacifica confesses to dipper that bill never threatened to hurt mabel. she made the deal willingly because he promised her that mabel would be able to stay in gravity falls if she let him borrow her body, and she was just so scared of losing her, and everyone.

-candy’s arm is broken in the car chase and ensuing wreck against gideon’s crew. in the aftermath, pacifica uses the remains of her jacket to make a sling.

ESCAPE FROM REALITY

mabeland is nearly the same as in canon, though maybe with some minor alterations to reflect the events of the summer. dippy fresh is replaced by a series of “dream dippers”, versions of dipper that mabel had imagined he might be like before actually meeting him. most are unrealistically cool, but one in particular is just someone who would be the ideal brother, always looking out for her and wanting to be with her. in the end of course, mabel has to look at all of this and decide that real dipper is the one she wants. (theres also a fake pacifica who shares all of mabel’s interests and is hopelessly in love with her, always flirting and offering romantic gestures, but without any of the sass and personality that make her who she is. pacifica ends up snapping her neck.)

mabel introduces the dream dippers one by one like they’re contestants on a game show, but one spot is left empty. dipper asks who it’s for, to which mabel nervously replies that it’s more convenient to have something extra just in case. later on, in the wilderness of mabeland, dipper overhears mabel talking to someone. “i don’t understand. everyone can finally be happy here. wendy can break all the rules she wants and never get in trouble, candy can be herself without people making fun of her, pacifica can get away from her parents, and dipper…. well maybe i can understand why HE wants to leave, since he apparently doesn’t want to deal with me….” suddenly, dipper hears his own voice reassuring her that everything will be alright, and he’ll stay by her side forever, that the summer never has to end. she says “do you really mean that?” to which he replies “of course. you know i’m the best brother ever.” the voice is revealed to be perfect, ideal brother dipper.

crushed by this, dipper retreats to the pond, where instead of being approached by wendy he’s approached by candy. she sits down and asks him what’s wrong, and he tells her how awful he feels that he couldn’t have done better for mabel. she assures him that he’s a wonderful person, and mabel’s being silly for not wanting someone like him as a brother. she then tells him that she was being silly for being mad at him, too, that she’s realized he was right all along, and she should’ve forgiven him earlier. “really? …'cause i was totally with you on the whole 'i was a jerk’ thing.” then candy ups the ante, going on to talk about how oh, he’s so much smarter and braver than her, and she was just upset because she thought she stood a chance with him, but she’s such a loser, she could never- dipper stops her there, worried. he continues to insist that it was his fault, he WAS being an asshole, and he should’ve apologized to her a long time ago, but he was nervous “because…. i DO like you, candy. like, like-like you.” he tells her to stop berating herself, that he likes her because she doesn’t let anybody change how weird she is and that she’s not acting like…. herself. it’s at that moment that he realizes what’s going on. as “candy” begins dissolving into bugs, a fist collides with her head and she explodes. its revealed to be grenda, who managed to find her way in because “the door was unlocked.”

when it comes to the trial, mabel’s memories are similarly flipped through, but instead of having a twin to be there in her time of need, she had nobody. she’s never had anybody like that until she met dipper.

TAKE BACK THE FALLS

-candy and grenda’s symbol is a disco ball. “…and this one could mean a person who can see the fun in any situation! or just a party animal.” “hey, that’s me!” “that’s me too!” “it’s both of us!! SYMBOL SISTERS!!!” [grenda lifts candy up onto her shoulders and they each take a hand, candy on her right side since her left arm is broken and grenda on the left]

-“we’re proud of you, daughter. saving the world will be perfect for salvaging our reputation! i still think those pines kids are a bit of a bad influence on you, though.”

-“oh YEAH? how’s THIS for a bad influence?!” [she pulls mabel into a passionate kiss] “news flash, dad! your perfect daughter’s a big fat gross lesbian! and when i grow up I’m gonna marry this riffraff right here, and change my name to pines too!! so DEAL WITH IT!!!”

stan still loses his memory as he did in canon, but dipper is the most visibly distraught and won’t stop begging him to remember. he tells him how even though they fought a lot over that summer, he loves him so much and he’d never ask for a better grunkle. he desperately tries to jog his memory with baby pictures, but they need to trigger more immediate memories first.

the solution for mabel to stay in gravity falls would be to fabricate a lie that dipper is ford’s grandson, ford being the twin that faked his own death to escape a life on the run, but they’ve just come back to reconnect with the family (since dipper lost his parents apparently), and mabel didn’t want to tell her parents at first because she was afraid they wouldn’t want her staying with an estranged family member/ex-con. but she’s made so many great friends and she loves this town and wants to stay with her “cousin”.

while the northwests go house hunting, mabel invites pacifica to stay at the shack until they can find a new home.

rather than leaving for a new adventure, ford and stan decide to stay at the shack and rest for a while, just settle into their new family dynamic. soos, melody, and abuelita all still move in, and so the house is renovated to make room for the huge family.

with the journals destroyed, the mystery squad now has to start from square one…. but dipper tells mabel that she doesn’t have to do anything to impress him anymore. that he’s ready to try just being a kid again.

#gravity falls #reunion falls #gravity falls au #interesting #i think tumblr might have actually glitched on me

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bookishlyjules · 3 years

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2021 Anticipated Releases - The Books I Currently NEED In My Life!

I’ve never actually done a TBR check, or waiting on list, but these 2021 releases made me think long and hard about how I need to be sharing my excitement for them to come into the world!

1. You Have a Match - Emma Lord

By NO surprise at all, the first book I’m excited for is Emma Lord’s second title YOU HAVE A MATCH! I absolutely loved Tweet Cute (and still claim to be it’s number 1 fan) so knowing Emma is coming out with another title made me shake from excitement!

“A new love, a secret sister, and a summer she'll never forget. When Abby signs up for a DNA service, it’s mainly to give her friend and secret love interest, Leo, a nudge. After all, she knows who she is already: Avid photographer. Injury-prone tree climber. Best friend to Leo and Connie…although ever since the B.E.I. (Big Embarrassing Incident) with Leo, things have been awkward on that front. But she didn’t know she’s a younger sister.”

Edit: I wrote this list without posting it and I have since read YOU HAVE A MATCH and it met all of my expectations and MORE! And lucky news for you it’s OUT NOW! (full review coming soon!)

2. We Can’t Keep Meeting Like This - Rachel Lynn Solomon

Another book that should not surprise anyone is Rachel Lynn Solomon’s next YA book, WE CAN’T KEEP MEETING LIKE THIS!

“A wedding harpist disillusioned with love and a hopeless romantic cater-waiter flirt and fight their way through a summer of weddings”

sign me UP!

3. Last Chance Books - Kelsey Rodkey

A first DEBUT on my list is LAST CHANCE BOOKS by Kelsey Rodkey! If you are on Book Twitter this name will sound familiar and we finally get a chance to read something from an up and coming star.

“Don’t you just love the smell of old books in the morning?

Madeline Moore does. Books & Moore, the musty bookstore her family has owned for generations, is where she feels most herself. Nothing is going to stop her from coming back after college to take over the store from her beloved aunt.

Nothing, that is—until a chain bookstore called Prologue opens across the street and threatens to shut them down.

Madeline sets out to demolish the competition, but Jasper, the guy who works over at Prologue, seems intent on ruining her life. Not only is he taking her customers, he has the unbelievable audacity to be… extremely cute.

But that doesn’t matter. Jasper is the enemy and he will be destroyed. After all—all’s fair in love and (book) wars.”

I’m getting such ‘Recommended for You’ vibes and I canNOT wait to dive right in!

4. Hot British Boyfriend - Kristy Boyce

The cover and title were really enough to seal the deal for me needing this book TBH.

“After a horrifying public rejection by her crush, Ellie Nichols does what any girl would do: she flees the country. To be more precise, she joins her high school’s study abroad trip to England. While most of her classmates are there to take honors courses and pad their college applications, Ellie is on a quest to rebuild her reputation and self-confidence. And nothing is more of a confidence booster than getting a hot British boyfriend”

5. Cool for the summer - Dahlia Adler

Bisexual representation and Jewish representation are all I need to scream YES to this book (doesn’t even matter that it comes out the day after my birthday).

Cool for the Summer is a story of self-discovery and new love. It’s about the things we want and the things we need. And it’s about the people who will let us be who we are.

6. The Ex Talk - Rachel Lynn Solomon

I mean she’s already on this list once so I had to put her on it again when I found out she was writing her first Romance being published by Berkley! I adore Rachel and her words and I can’t wait to read her older audience stuff. Her YA stuff is already brilliant so I have no doubt this will be magnificent.

“Shay Goldstein has been a producer at her Seattle public radio station for nearly a decade, and she can't imagine working anywhere else. But lately it's been a constant clash between her and her newest colleague, Dominic Yun, who's fresh off a journalism master's program and convinced he knows everything about public radio...”

7. The Intimacy Experiment - Rosie Danan

This is a follow up to The Roommate which blew my socks off (and many others I’m sure). I’m excited for the Jewish rep and to dive right back into this world!

“Naomi Grant has built her life around going against the grain. After the sex-positive start-up she cofounded becomes an international sensation, she wants to extend her educational platform to live lecturing. Unfortunately, despite her long list of qualifications, higher ed won't hire her. Ethan Cohen has recently received two honors: LA Mag named him one of the city's hottest bachelors and he became rabbi of his own synagogue. Taking a gamble in an effort to attract more millennials to the faith, the executive board hired Ethan because of his nontraditional background. Unfortunately, his shul is low on both funds and congregants. The board gives him three months to turn things around or else they'll close the doors of his synagogue for good. Naomi and Ethan join forces to host a buzzy seminar series on Modern Intimacy, the perfect solution to their problems--until they discover a new one--their growing attraction to each other. They've built the syllabus for love's latest experiment, but neither of them expected they'd be the ones putting it to the test.”

There are SO MANY more books coming out in 2021 that I know this will either be updated or I’ll have to make a whole other post but these are the books that are on the tip of my tongue and I cannot wait to read them!

#post #tbr #waiting on #waiting on wednesday #anticipated releases #YA literature #yabook

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certifiedskywalker · 4 years

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Love Is Blind - Carol Danvers

Anonymous said: Hello there! Can I please request a carol x fem reader? “We fell asleep on the couch together on accident, how did my hand end up in your hair? Were you breathing on my neck?!” I found this lovely prompt on tumblr. So the context is they’re best friends who secretly harbor feelings towards each other. Please make it soft and fluffy and romantic. Thank you

Alright, I hope this is fluffy enough! I didn’t use the full prompt but I used it in a way that wasn’t as cheesy as that dialogue. I hope that’s okay!

“So what are you doing after this?”

You threw your head up at Carol’s question; took in the sight of her reddened cheeks and parted lips. Her blonde hair was thrown every which way. Some of it tumbled over her should, falling to the side like a sheen of golden water. Most of it was windblown up in a rat’s nest of stress and effort. When she threw the load she was carrying in the cargo bay to the side, she reached up in a vain attempt to tame the wild strands. You could not stop staring.

“Y/N?”

“What? Sorry.” You shook your head. “I spaced out.” Carol raised a suspicious brow and you felt the urge to curl into yourself, to hide your embarrassment. Had you been staring too long?

If you had, Carol didn’t let on. Instead, she smiled, wiped sweat from her brow and gave you a smile. It was one of her full, bright smiles, one that you often saw when she and Maria had invited you along to a post-flight-treat. While you had imagined cakes, you got beers and the first time Carol smiled at you with all the hope of a sunrise.

“What are you doing after this?” Carol leaned against a pile of crates and crossed her arms over her chest. The tank top she was wearing showed off the strength in her arms and made it hard for you to swallow properly. You gripped your clipboard tightly and found your voice.

“I-I don’t know,” you choked out. You turned your back on Carol to read over the label on the equipment before you. You checked off the box on your inventory and moved to the next one. As you moved you felt a warmth trailing behind you. Before you could turn around, Carol’s hand brushed past you and pulled your clipboard from your grasp. You turned to meet her eyes which held a mischievous glint within them.

“So you’re free?” You gave Carol a questioning look before nodding slowly.

“I guess.” Her smile widened and you felt your stomach twist. “Why?”

“I was going to stop by Pancho’s and wanted you to come.” You raised a brow and tore your nervous gaze away from Carol.

“The bar? I don’t know. I have to...I get up early tomorrow and it’s a long drive from there to my place so…” You could feel Carol’s frown but, when you looked up, her eyes were still hopeful.

“You could crash at mine and Maria’s. She’s out with her guy until sometime tomorrow.” You felt your gut tighten at the idea of sleeping over at Carol’s. Before your face could give away the excitement you felt you nodded at your friend. Yes, friend. Carol was your friend; only a friend and you had to get the idea of anything else out of your head.

“Okay.” Carol’s expression lifted and a wide grin spread along her features. You had never seen anything so beautiful.

“Awesome,” she threw your clipboard on top of the boxes beside her. “You wanna get your stuff and I’ll give you a ride?” You hesitated at the idea of leaving your own car in the parking lot and Carol, ever watchful, seemed to sense your worry. “I can tell Jim about your car. He’s head of security and we’re like this”

Carol crossed her fingers and made a childishly funny face. Yet, that didn’t unwrap the coils of jealous around your throat. The way Carol had made the gesture made you think she was joking. She did have a habit of getting into trouble with security. It wouldn’t have surprised you if she had struck up some sort of rapport with the head of the department, but the thought made your heart sink in your chest in a way that you could not convey.

“Alright then yeah,” you sighed, “I’ll go get my stuff.” Carol smiled and clapped her hand on your shoulder in a manner so friendly you left some part of yourself die inside.

“Meet ya out in the parking lot then!”

After you finished up your work and got what you would need from your car (a sweatshirt, brush, and a few work notebooks), you found yourself waiting. You rocked back a forth, shifting your weight back a forth on your feet as you watched for Carol. The setting sun was still hot, beating down on the pavement and your skin. You thought back to Carol tucked into her flight suit as she clambered in her plane. How hot was that?

Very, you thought with half a smile. You would have kept staring off into the sunset, thinking of Carol, if it weren’t for the sudden rev of an engine. The sound made you jump and your thoughts flee in fear. When you turned to see who was being so loud, you saw Carol: sunglasses pressed to her face and straddling a motorcycle.

The sleek, black machine drove up to you with all the smoothness of well-brew coffee. You watched her boots hit the ground when the bike came to a stop. It almost happened in slow-motion: she took off her sunglasses in a fluid motion, revealing her soft brown eyes to you like unwrapping a gift. She smiled widely when she met your gaze.

“Like it?” You let your eyes dance along Carol’s face as she asked the question. It could be answered with a simple ‘yes’ but you found yourself speechless.

“Y/N?”

“Y-Yeah, it’s…” You trailed off and Carol let out a breathy laugh.

“You nervous?” You tore your eyes from Carol’s legs and met her gaze once more. You swallowed hard and nodded. You were nervous, but about what, you were sure that it wasn’t the motorcycle.

“Yeah, a bit.” Carol shook her head and scoot up to make room for you on the bike.

“It’s all good. Just put your stuff in there,” she jabbed her thumb towards the back of the motorcycle. “And there should be an extra helmet in there for you too.”

You followed her directions and tucked your bag in a small chest attached to the back of the bike. Knowing that you wouldn’t lose your stuff barely eased the nausea in your stomach. You donned the helmet and turned back to Carol. She let out a laugh and gave you a thumbs up.

“You look great,” she teased and you felt your cheeks burn beneath the helmet. “Now, come here.”

She patted the back of the seat and you gave her a questioning look before carefully straddling the bike. The padding beneath you was surprisingly comfortable. For a moment, you thought that maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. Then you caught a sniff was Carol’s body wash and the sharp scent of fuel and felt light-headed. It didn’t help when Carol gave you more instructions.

“Now put your arms around my waist.”

“What?”

“I mean, you don’t have to. That is, if you want to ride the road on your ass but-”

“Okay, okay,” you sighed and wrapped your arms around Carol’s midsection. A flood of warmth and giddiness ran through and over your body. You were so close to her. You had hugged Carol before but this, this was different. You were clinging to her.

For dear life, or so it seemed, as Carol drove away from the air hangar in a burst of speed. Your arms tightened and you feared that you might be squeezing her too tight. But when Carol didn’t flinch or protest, you let yourself relax. Your chest rested against Carol’s back and, despite the street racing below you, you felt safe. So safe and so...cared for? Maybe, either way, you let your head fall to rest between Carol’s shoulders and watched the landscape whirl past your vision.

Soon enough, the sign of Pancho’s Bar entered your sights and you felt Carol slow the bike. The gravel of the parking lot groaned and cracked under the wheels as she searched for a parking space. When she turned to engine off you felt your heart ache with bittersweet pain. You were alive, in one piece and holding Carol; but now you had to let go.

Your arms fell to your sides, slipping from Carol’s waist painfully as she spoke up. “So, what did ya think? Fun right?”

“Yeah, actually,” you replied as you freed your face from the heat of the helmet. “Thanks.”

“No need to thank me, Y/N,” Carol waved a hand dismissively. “I wanted to. I wanted you to come.” You nodded before biting the inside of your cheek. Carol only wanted you here because Maria was out of town. Otherwise, you would be a third, unneeded wheel to their friendship.

You watched silently as Carol hopped off the bike and straightened her jacket. Some of her hair, which she had put into a loose ponytail had slipped out. A few of the blonde strands framed her face, making her rosy, wind-kissed cheeks appear redder.

“You ready?”

“Huh?” You asked, shaking your head to clear it. “Yeah, I am.” Carol raised a brow, but smiled nonetheless. She plucked the helmet from your hands and placed it on the bike.

“Seems like you could use a drink, yeah?” You met her eyes before you felt her hand grabbing at yours. Your eyes traced the way her fingers joined with yours and you felt your breath catch.

“Yeah, I could.” Carol smiled over her shoulder at your reply before pulling you into the bar.

You don’t often drink, at least not a lot. If you do, it’s because you’re nervous or stressed. It’s not a good coping mechanism, you know that, it’s unhealthy; but when you’re at a bar with Carol, you’re bombarded by emotions that need to be dulled. You’re tormented by desire to hold her, to dance with her during a slow song and not care about anything else.

In those moments, you remind yourself that you could lose your job if someone got the wrong idea. Even if the ‘wrong idea’ was what you wanted. You wanted Carol; you wanted to be more than friends, but that just wasn’t possible. Not now, at least.

So you drank. You drank a lot, enough to grow fuzzy and only remember Carol’s face bathed in the colorful lights of the video arcade and neon signs. When you woke, you were warm and your head was pounding. You had felt the dull, pulsing pain of a hangover before but something was different about this one. When you turned your head, you felt a strange sense of relief. Physical relief. Like a hand rubbing at your scalp, soothing the ache in your skull as your breath found a haven in the crook of her neck.

Carefully, you craned your neck and tried to figure out the source of the sensation When you did, you felt your mouth fall open in a silent gasp. Carol was laid out on the couch, sleep balancing delicately on her features as she slept...below you. You had fallen asleep on her chest and her hand was in your hair. Everytime you moved a little, her fingers would brush against your scalp.

All of your movement seemed to wake Carol as her eyes opened slowly. “You’re awake.”

“I-I am, I’m sorry about this. I just-”

“It’s okay, Y/N. You got a little drunk.” You let out a nervous, breathy laugh as you sat up. Your legs brushed against Carol’s and you felt like your whole being was on fire.

“I guess, yeah,” you mumbled as you tried to move away. “I don’t….”

“I didn’t drink really,” Carol began, “so I drove home. It was a hassle getting you on the bike. I thought about tying you to me. I almost did.” She was smiling as she filled in the gaps of your memory, but you were aflame with embarrassment.

“I’m so sorry,” you said again, but Carol continued.

“When we got back you wanted me to stay with you. You were fairly convincing and I guess we fell asleep together on accident.” You held your head in your hands and signed heavily.

“I didn’t do anything else did I?”

“We danced,” Carol added, “you were cute, dancing by yourself at first.” You met her eyes and saw there was only sincerity in them. Images of Carol, smiling as brightly as the sun from across the dance floor at Pancho’s flashed in your mind. You smiled at the sight, wished that you could remember it better in all of it’s trueness.

“When we got home you told me something.”

“W-What did I say?” You choked out. Worry churned in your gut and you felt like you might vomit. Carol let her head fall to the side as she stared at you softly.

“It wasn’t really what you said, it was what you asked. You asked if I loved you.”

“Oh, Carol, I didn-”

“I do.” You met her gaze against and waited with baited breath. “I wanted to wait to tell you so you would remember my answer. Was that what you were expecting my answer to be?”

“No, I,” you shook your head. Your heart was pounding in your chest, so hard that you were surprised Carol did mention that she could hear it.

“I know that it's ...different and we’re friends. And...well..with work, the government, but I wanted to tell you. Your question was the perfect time I guess.” Carol explained as she sat up against the arm of the couch.

“I…” Silence overwhelmed you right beside the wave of shock. Your gaze fell to Carol’s hand which rested in her lap, as you gathered your thoughts.

“Sorry, if I made you uncomfortable,” Carol began to say quickly, “I just thought that maybe...it felt like you might too.” You looked up to her, met her gaze and tried to find the right words. “Y/N?”

“I do,” you said softly. Carol’s serious expression melted away into a smile. It wasn’t the one that was as bright as the sun. It was tender, as gentle as a rolling cloud during a pink sunrise. A smile just for you. Before you could say anything else, Carol leaned towards you. Her hand lifted from her lap to your cheek and pulled your lips to hers.

She tasted like mint and smelled like smoke and engine fuel. She tasted like coming home, like a truth that you had tried to ignore for too long. She tasted like love, a love that you had never had the courage to show until now. You wanted to savor that forever.

Carol’s hands cupped your face and coaxed your closer. Instinctively, you moved into her lap and let yours hands bury themselves in her hair. Now that you had a flavor of what this could be, you never wanted to come up for air; but eventually, you had to.

Carol pulled away from your lips, but just barely. Her forehead rested against yours and you sank back into the warmth her body offered.

“I hope you didn’t drool on me,” Carol teased breathlessly. You laughed, pulling your head away from hers and shook your head.

“Just breathed on your neck a little.” Carol grinned and you swear if you stared too long, you might go blind. Yet, it would be worth it, if it meant you were with Carol.

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slut-4-beetlejuice · 4 years

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The Demon and the Board (beetlejuice fanfiction

Otherwise known as "Beeja-Board 2 electric boogaloo" also known as "I actually put a lot of effort into this, but I'm going to pretend like I didnt and make jokes about it to protect my pride lol"

Couple of PSAs: 1. So, this is kind of a sequel to my beetlejuice ouija board headcannons, check that out to see how we got here, and 2. So, I'm not all that experienced in writing BJ, so constructive criticism is always welcome! Hopefully I'll figure him out as we go along.

Ok, here we go!

"So babes, you wanna know what a bio exorcist is?" The green haired demon asked through a smirk. You stared at him blankly, trying to figure out what the hell just happened. One moment you were playing with an ouija board, then shit got wild and now theres a demon standing in your bedroom. And to make matters worse, his suit was giving you a headache. "Wh...what the hell?!" You asked, confused. "Who are you, wha-..." you started putting the pieces together. "You're beetlejuice, arent you?" "Sh sh shhh!!" The specter scolded you. "Careful with the b word babes. And yea, thats me," he flashed you a wicked grin "the ghost with the most."

You laughed a bit. Well, more forcefully breathed out. "Holy shit I summoned a demon." "Yes, yes you did!" He laughed, "now, do you wanna know what a bio exorcist is or not?" You rolled your eyes at the admittedly cute man in front of you. "Sure," you shrug, "what is a bio exorcist?" Beetlejuice grinned and whipped out a white board. "Ok, so, when you die in your house, you have to stay there for a certain amount of time" he said, drawing a house with little dead stick figures in it. "But, as you a breather know, when people are no longer alive, and therefore can no longer pay rent, new, living people are brought in to pay for the house!" He explained, erasing the dead stick figures and putting in living ones. "Now, normally, this ain't a problem. If you dont like the new roommates, scare em out" he started drawing ghosts. "But what if you're bad at scaring? See, that's where I come in."

Beetlejuice threw the whiteboard behind his back and smiled, standing straighter and straightening out his suit. He stuck his hand out for you to shake. You did. He was...cold yes, but somehow warmer than you expected. "Hi!" He grinned, "I'm B-E-E-T-L-E-J-U-I-C-E, The bio exorcist! I come in and scare out all the breathers so you can breath easy, and ya know, rest in peace and all that jazz!"

You laughed. You found it odd that he spelled out his name despite no longer being in the ouija board, but still found his whole display very entertaining. And oh man, he looked pleased as punch to get a laugh out of you. He had to admit, he found this breather to be better looking than most. They seemed so sweet too...

"So what's your name beautiful" he grinned, showing off his slightly yellow teeth. "Y/N" you said, grinning back. "And, I appreciated the lesson in bio exorcism. Is that a common profession for the afterlife?" Beetlejuice shook his head. "Nope! I'm the one and only! Pretty damn good at it too, if I do say so myself." He seemed so cocky and sure of himself. What you wouldn't give for that kind of confidence...

"So, wait," you asked, "if you're a bio exorcist, what we're you doing in an ouija board?" Suddenly, the spectors demeanor changed. It looked almost like his vibrate green hair started to turn blue at the ends and he scratched the back of his head, looking down. "Well, eh... being dead is kind of lonely. I dont talk to anyone really. Well, I mean, there's my best friend, but shes got like, school and stuff, and friends that are still alive like here and we dont talk as much as we used to. Theres this dead couple that live- well...exist in the house too, but I'm pretty sure I'm just annoying to them. I'm annoying to everyone. I though ouija board duty would be a good way to make new friends." Something he said bothered you. "You dont annoy me" you assured the demon. "Yet" he mumbled back. You smiled softly at him.

"I dont think you can annoy me. I dont believe it." "Oh you should." He said bluntly, "I'm a demon for a reason." You shook you head, "nope, done believe it. You'll have to prove it." Beetlejuice looked up at you, a smile tugging at his lips as he caught on. "Oh yea? Is that a challenge?" He purred, the green returning to his hair. Did...did it change color with his moods?

"Yes sir, yes it is!" You said smugly. "I bet I could summon you every day and still not get annoyed." "Oh you're on!" Beetlejuice laughed, loving a good challenge. Then, he felt it. The farmilar tug in the back if his head of a summons. Lydia. Shit, how long had he been gone? She must be worried about him.

"Uh, hey babes, I gotta go. Urgent bio exorcist business." He said, dispite not wanting to leave. "But, I'm holding you to this challenge! If you dont summon me tomorrow, I'm gonna say I won. You know how to summon me, no excuses!!" You laughed and smiled reassuringly. "Dont worry, I'll summon you." You promised. Beetlejuice smiled as he started to become smokey and vanish. "You better" was the last thing you heard him say.

Definitely not what you expected when you decided to play with an ouija board. Though, you're definitely not upset at the outcome either.

(A/N: so like, I did my best. It's not great but, I also dont hate it. As always constructive criticism is welcome and if you want this to be a series just let me know!! I had a lot of fun writing it!

Edit: someone said they liked it better when I color coded it, and then I realized I forgot to color code it before posting last night!!! So here it is, now coded with colors lol)

#beetlejuice x reader #beetlejuice musical #beetlejuice #beetlejuice fanfiction #@actual-cat-human #ouija beetlejuice #ouija board #ouijajuice #color coded

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astrogone · 4 years

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❝ @ mutuals, send me a 🍓 and I’ll compliment you! ❞ / pt. 4

🍓 @glrchmp: Zacharie, you and your blog are absolutely? Phenomenal?! I honestly have not got into the playthrough of Shield / Sword yet while I do not have Switch, but of course, Leon has my heart instantly, and seeing someone so so passionate of him makes me very delighted. I absolutely adore what you have thought of him and written with him so far, and I always highly look forward to read and learn more about your Leon. It was such a wonderful moment going through your blog and seeing how would you portray Leon. Everything about him is so well thought and detailed, it is just incredible. To be honest, even if I haven’t got into the game yet, I already had a thought that Nintendo could not ever do Leon justice like how you would portray him. I hope you have at least some pride in your work because, seriously, what you touch turns into a wonderful art, and I am so grateful that I had stumbled across your blog. Anyone should, actually. You are a gem as you are a lovely person to have on my dash. I do hope we can interact more soon and have you shove me into more of the Pokéworld ( because I will admit, I’m not too hot with the lores and whatnot, and I’d love to get Deep with it, if ya get me there ) but if you are busy or anything, I’m more than okay to wait. Give you the time and space you need. For now, just seeing you on my dash makes me happy— as long as you are content, I am too. <3

🍓 @mtchstck: Alex, first of all [makes over 100 fire / hot puns such as how your blog is hot, your writing is spicy—]. Second of all, my goodness, please know that you and Livvy are out of the world, like we truly do not deserve you two. Your developments, writings, graphics, artworks— everything that you would come up with are incredible, and just... The time and effort you would put in these delightful creations... There is so much passion in your work and I just do not know how you would come up with any of these stuff. Livvy is such an interesting and fun character to learn about, and you probably get this a lot, but I do want to tell you how much I love that you write her with life in her. In a roleplay forum I was in for most of my roleplay life, I had seen so many young muses around her age being written with these traits that were just slapped onto them or given them a tragic background for the sake of it with bare to no developments and meaningful thoughts behind them. Yet with Livvy, everything about her feels natural because you care, and it just makes me so happy to see that there are people out there like you who would hold a lot care for their muse’s characterizations. You are just so talented in everything you do and I highly admire you. Honestly, what a spark of delight and inspiration you are to have on my dash. <3

🍓 @arsonbeast: MJ, we haven’t done much together yet, but, my gosh, you! Are so cool! Honestly. I still remember our conversation during around the Fourth of July and recalling about it makes me think that you’re such a very fun and hilarious person to interact with ( and I would love to interact with you more but I’m so Fucking Slow, but... you know ). I don’t know how to explain it, but I can really sense your energy from your texts alone and I get so delighted whenever I see your posts on here / text messages. You just have a really chill vibe that makes me feel comfortable, which says a lot with me having anxiety, welp, but... Just know that you have my heart and soul. Also, I highly adore your writings with MJ— the way you would word your sentences, MJ’s dialogues, etcetera, it really captures the personality of him and it’s so much fun and exciting to read them! And his faceclaim? Epic choice, my dude, I love that a lot. I can not truly wait to see more work with him, and once I finally fucking figure out who to write / plot with him, it’ll be Over for you, so you better watch out for my dumb ass coming at your way with that, lmfao... You’re awesome as Hell, dude. <3

🍓 @fatedriven: Neo, at the moment, we are just silently supporting each other from our tiny corners ( I am too slow and often chaotically losing my energy to reach out but! I will! Get to you soon, I Swear ), but I do want you know that I am! So so! EXCITED to interact with you more! And I ADORE all of your muses and everything in your blogs dearly MUCH! I swear, everything about your blog and creations and so forth are downright gorgeous. Stepping into your blogs for the first time was like having my eyes blessed with the sacred lights, no kidding at all!... Your muses are so unique and different from each other, it takes my breath away to see how much passion you have for all of them. Also seeing your writings? Truly poetic, oh my gosh. Your blogs are just so so delightful to go through. I love your ideas, your portrayals, and everything, like. You’re already one of my inspirations as seeing your work makes me feel motivated to work and develop on my creations, so thank you for taking the time and effort in sharing your creations on this Hellsite. They are truly amazing and I just can not wait to see more from you, as well as, again, interacting with you more. <3

🍓 @destructiveglitch: Myers, where to even start... I do not ever believe words would be enough, but as it is what I can offer, please, despite anything and what anyone would say to you, try to remember that whatever you create, your creations will always bring light to this universe! Every edges and corners and the insides of your creations from your muses to artworks and headcanons and writings and so forth? So well done. So so good to get into anytime, any day. And seeing your art improvement with the “silence, bottom” artworks? Incredible. It truly does show much you had improved from years of creating, and while you may experience feeling negative about your creations, I do want to give you a gentle reminder that this world is truly blessed to even look at your work. Just... the passion and dedication you have in your creations make me feel beyond delighted, and I love whatever you would post on my dash, even it’s just a silly thought. If you ever end up writing a novel or make a comic or whatever, you better let me know and I will pay to even read about it. Your creativity is too good for us. I am beyond grateful to have stumbled across your blog. You are just so sweet and fun and cool to have around, and I can not wait to make more fun memories with you. <3

🍓 @forcefuried: Tian, you are extremely delightful to interact with and have on my dash and Discord. Just. Every time I would see your post or text message, I get so giddy and hope you are doing okay. You deserve all of the goods out there. You hold nothing but kindness and even when we have recently interacted, you make me feel at home already, and it’s... a rare thing when I have anxiety, so, I just love how open and honest and sweet you are to not just me but others as well. I have said this before, but i will not hesitate to say this once more that I am beyond grateful that you decided to check up my blog and gave me a follow because, otherwise, I would probably not get to see the absolute beauty you have in your blog. The passion in everything you create is amazing and with every thoughts, headcanons, writings, and such that you would come up with? Always a breathtaking moment. There is so much details and dedication in everything, and how you would take the time to research and pour your soul out is so admiring. You are the reason I should get into the rest of the old S.tar W.ars films as I had watched only one of the old ones, honestly, lmfao, but yeah, you are so sweet and creative, and, gosh, this world just can not get enough of you. <3 🍓 @gloryshound: Nee, wow, honestly, what did I do to deserve you? While we are starting to interact more, I must say that I truly am in love with your writings. The details, the wordings, everything about them are so great. It just catches my emotions, make me feel and think for these muses, and it really amazes me to see how you would give each muse their own voice in your writings, and I personally believe it is not that easy to do that, especially when you have a lot of muses to write at once. I find it so interesting just reading what are the themes / main focuses each of your muse have, and it makes me think how determined and willing you are in exploring more of these themes / main focuses with their respective muses, and I think that’s really neat. I love when people actually take a step back to see the potentials in the characters and use them to make more of they are given from the media. It shows that they care, and I do love when people take the time and effort in placing so many thoughts and developments in a character. You are one of those people and I hope you know that your creations are highly inspiring to many people, including myself. I am so happy that we got to meet and I highly look forward to interact with you and all of your lovely muses more. It is gonna be so amazing! <3

#( happy happyyyy belated strawberryday everyone!!! love you all so so much!!! <333 )#˚* ੈ✧ ‧ ( ooc . ) i am alive ; i am awake #glrchmp #mtchstck #arsonbeast #fatedriven #destructiveglitch #forcefuried #gloryshound

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bloodfcst-a · 4 years

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given the revival of the vii fandom with all of the hullabaloo surrounding remake, i can think of no better time to do this meme. i also suggest you check out my updated nav page if you haven’t already! i worked really hard on it okay sobs.

things a new rp partner should know about me !

write 3-5 things a new rp partner (or those who want to be) should know about you and tag 3-5 people! it should be related to rp and not to other interests.

tagged by: no one, but it’s a shame bc... i got thoughts. you were warned.

tagging: @angereve @enshijou @breselin @serophs @strfe @fractempyreal @extremepath @localmagicalboi @shimmerseas @duplikiss @verumking @asterites + if it strikes your fancy.

i. i am not your mother’s/father’s yu.ffie blog. while i do have a verse reserved for compilation content, that’s not the main premise of this blog. if you came here for oversexualized underage ninjas.... i’m going to have to direct you elsewhere. out here we’re primarily an adult modern interpretation... who does not daylight as a ninja constantly. she can, however, be a y.akuza or a sheltered member of high society who enjoys kicking ass for justice so if you’re interested in that, y’know. c’mon down.

ii. the typical ‘ yu.ffie is a kleptomaniac ’ / ‘ stop stealing my stuff ’ trope is like. one that grates my very existence. i have talked about this many times, but for those of you who are new: yufi has only stolen out of necessity to her cause. the only time i’ll refer to petty theft on this blog is if she like steals a fry or something. if we’re joking around, okay, but... please don’t consider that to be the sole core of her characterization. i’m begging. i’m on my knees. i’m warning you, i’ll cry and then i’ll probably ignore whatever post you’ve mentioned it in if you’re serious. just. don’t be that person if you’re following me.

if we’re going into it, the only times she’s stolen anything were: > in crisis core, as the ‘ treasure princess. ’ but this is arguable, as the treasure is truly up for grabs to start with & zack repeatedly goes after these locations she’s sent to him ( which, by the way, were sent to her from rufus to attempt to retaliate against + destroy shinra hq ). zack already knew what was up when: 1) she showed up in his spam folder; 2) she literally said she’s on the hunt for treasure; and 3) he knew at least after the second time that he was gon’ get goinked ( please see definition #2 ) so... can’t help him there. > in vanilla vii, when the party is foolish enough to meet her and not recruit her off the bat ( it be ya own self ). to be fair, 99% of her interactions with easterners / non-wutai prior to that moment had been people who either wanted to kill her or exploit her, so... it’s only self-preservation to use them before they use her or worse, leave her for dead. a sad reality for a 16 year old. > in vanilla vii, only after the party arrives to wutai & she thinks she can successfully finish her mission of “ getting all the strongest materia. ” after she’s captured, she does apologize, and then afterward makes cloud sign it in writing. so. y’know, she did learn from her mistake & said “ ugh, guess i gotta put that diplomacy training to use. ”

y’all could argue that she’s a thief class and that’s what they do, but note that it’s NOT one of her core skills-- it’s a MATERIA. which means everyone out there with a steal materia could be out here being a kleptomaniac. cloud? barret? tifa? red xiii? none of your favs are safe. her skills in the game, however, are shit called “ blood festival ” ( oh? see the username’s relevance all of a sudden? aha! ) and “ doom of the living. ” she’s out here summoning ghosts and reigning otherworldly power on ur ass but... fandom wasn’t ready for that conversation !! some folks were too BASIC and couldn’t handle her true strength... so i will gladly champion that for you.

iii. i like to emphasize that yufi is an emotionally strong yet traumatized figure, which stems from her origins and that i just put that in the forefront. we have a character who is haunted by her mother who died after childbirth, seemingly rejected from her father yet held to the highest of his standards, has attachment issues because she’s the “ black sheep ” and doesn’t just accept defeat or dejection even if it comes from her core community, survived multiple wars, has led in post-war rescue efforts on multiple occasions, was wrongfully imprisoned, was on the forefront of pandemic outbreaks as a first-responder, joins and rises to the top of an organization created to restore world order, is one of the two top operatives in said organization ( and the one out on the field longer--sorry vin.cent, but u only got involved at lu.cretia and when the actual gunshots disturbed your brooding and wine session filled isolation sessions. but like, mood tho ), pretends to be cheery despite clearly remembering all the hauntings and death and other bullshit she’s been facing since she was a toddler.... oh, and she disarmed bombs when her country was wrongfully targeted + used as political bait for terrorists...when she was a child. that’s canon, if we’re talking about “ accuracy. ” even in vanilla vii, she had no outlets, no one to turn to, ‘cause everyone was cloud vc: “ not interested. ”

so if you’re on this blog, it’s not like you won’t see happy yufi... but realize that i recognize that she is multifaceted and has a lot of baggage. emotional issues which unfortunately i bring to every verse gfdohfofh but u know, it’s core to her character + y’all gon have to deal, or... idk, go find another yufi. i’m not forcing you to be here.

iv. in my opinion, the best plotting comes with ooc conversations/interactions. i’m not saying if we plot that we’re required to be friends, ‘cause i don’t wanna force anyone into friendship, but i truly believe that if you want super deep plots with frequent interactions, we should... probably talk more than once. pretty simple, imo ! sometimes people claim i play favorites, but i really don’t... if you never talk to me and you don’t respond to my attempts to interact, then how am i supposed to know you’re interested?

as a general rule, i’ll put in as much effort as i receive. if i see you’re interested in me, if we’re really vibing when it comes to plotting, if you’re sending asks & liking posts, we’ve got some threads going, rad ! if i like starter calls and send you asks and message you and you never respond to me... ? i’ll take that as a sign you don’t wanna talk + i should move on to someone else. if i’m wrong, well... do something to change my mind.

v. i know i went hard as fuck on this meme, but that’s bc I’M REALLY PASSIONATE ABOUT ABOUT THIS MUSE. in reality i’m actually quite soft + a weenie babie. if you ask.......... most people, i think they’d say i try really hard to be approachable and adaptable. i think everyone who talks to me on discord laughs at me because i’m scared of the stupidest things + i love to make jokes and just be funny and relatable. so please be nice and love me and my sassy fighty extremely tough deprived child. we both need hugs.

kthx i’m finally done.

#♝ mun.#long post /#WHEW.#also my nav legit has a f.a.q so like.....#i'm trying y'all !#but ! if u never ask u'll never know.#until i decide to drop a wealth of knowledge on you all gdoifdhodgd #whoops my hand slipped......

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snarkwriteswrasslin · 4 years

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FFT: valentines day episode; drew gulak

Notes:

So this was sent to my main’s ask by @vonschweetz and I had to throw it on here on it’s own post to preserve it. I really enjoy writing these two so maaaybe I’ll do that on here. We’ll see.

Summary:

The one in which New Day and friends stage a dating show to attempt getting two clueless idiots to interact. And then said clueless idiots wind up kissing. Fluff. Humor.

Warnings:

uhh.. crude humor at times, shenaningans.

Pairing:

Drew Gulak x OFC, Kasey.

Her cell phone was going nuts on the pillow beside her head and she swore, reaching out for it. This sent it flying across the room and Kasey rolled towards the edge of the bed, trying to reach as far as possible to answer the damned thing and quiet the sounds of AC/DC blaring loud enough to wake the dead.

“Answer your phone, woman.” Ruby called across their shared hotel room before shoving her head back beneath the pillow. Kasey grumbled and mimicked her and finally hopped out of bed, reaching for the phone in a hurry just to turn and dive back into the covers, burrowing down.

“K?”

“Speaking, what up, E?”

“Did you totally forget what today is?”

“Uh… It’s..” Kasey swiped down the top of her phone screen to see the date and time. “It’s Friday?” she questioned as she turned over onto her side, punching at her pillow to get it lumpy again like she liked it. Definitely should’ve gone with anything but memory foam this shit is not worth one solid fuck, she lamented to herself as she listened to Big E laughing and explaining to Xavier and Kofi, “She overslept. I told you guys she’d oversleep, didn’t I?”

“Wait, what’s going on?” Kasey sat up in her hotel bed, rubbing at her forehead. She got the distinct feeling that she was forgetting something huge.

Big E filled in the blanks for her. “You said you were going to be on our Valentine’s episode of UpUpDownDown.. For science.” Big E air quoted the words as he tried not to laugh and shook his head at Kasey’s obvious still half asleep brain function. “Just come down to the conference room off the lobby, that’s where we set this up at, K. I got you cinnamon twists.”

It all came rushing back to her then. She’d agreed to Valentine’s Day fuckery, on the grounds that her best guy friends would logically NEVER manage to guess who she had a thing for on their roster, let alone get the guy to agree to come onto the show himself. Literally, none of the three knew who it was because she’d never ever ever even hinted at being interested in this man as far as she knew. Kasey was still having a hard time getting her head around just who she’d managed to fall for herself if the truth had to be told.

“Cinnamon twists?” she yawned hopefully, hurrying to get out of bed. She grabbed for the first tee shirt she saw, laughing at the irony when she realized it was the gag gift that Paige got her as an unValentines day present and given her the night before. Her eyes settled on the hospital mask sitting beside it because the shirt came with it and she laughed, shrugging the shirt down over her body. She grabbed for the hospital mask and slipped it onto her head and after a few minutes more, she finally found her most comfortable pair of black Underarmour sweats. The baggiest ones. As she slid them on, she asked Big E, “All I gotta do is like.. show up, right? I don’t have to be fancy? Because I’m gonna be real with you, E. I stayed up way later than you and the guys. I was still on that game room at 3.”

“Jesus, woman! Good lord have mercy. We all specifically told you to go to bed. Why the heck?” Big E chuckled, shaking his head as he put her on speaker so that the three ‘bachelors’ and Kofi and Xavier could hear her. Heath spoke up with a low whistle, “Woman, do you ever even attempt this adult thang? Like, even at all?”

“I mean, I try..” Kasey bit her lip, glaring at the phone in her hand, laughing as she flipped it off. “Okay, I’m heading down now. As soon as I find my hoodie. And my left sneaker because it’s gone. Oh yeah.. I threw it when I saw that spider.” Kasey spied the fire engine red Vans peeking out from behind the dresser by the hotel room door and she put it on, grabbing her hoodie and throwing it around her shoulders.

The entire way down to the lobby, she busied herself with stalking a certain Submission Specialist’s instagram posts, snorting in laughter at a post that he’d made while wearing a cowboy hat. “Big freakin goof. Absolute dork.”

For anyone to hear her, they’d surely check to see if she ran a fever because the tone in which the words were uttered was.. Soft. Tenderly. Utterly smitten. The elevator doors slid open in the lobby and Kasey stepped off, immediately swearing and swatting when she stepped right into a glittery bright red bunting draped above the elevator. “What the hell? Babies with arrows tried to attack me.” she was still scowling at the glitter flecks on her shirt when she stepped into the room Kofi, Xavier and Big E set up for their little matchmaking skit.

“I swear, just when I think I can’t find anything to make me like Valentines less, they have to go and throw glitter into it. Glitter, man. I’ll be picking this shit off my body for ten years now.”

Xavier chuckled, nodding to the mask over Kasey’s mouth. “Paige actually got it for ya, huh? Me and E started to but E, he’s insistin there’s a softy buried somewhere in that hellion facade you’ve got.”

“I love you too, X.” Kasey’s voice was muffled and Jinder spoke up. “Maybe try talking without the mask? It muffles your voice.”

Kasey’s cheeks heated as her eyes settled on a barely awake Drew Gulak, obviously of a similar mindset to her, just portraying it much neater. Somehow the man wore sweats as seductively as he wore thousand-dollar suits. She swallowed hard and poked out her tongue at him when she happened to see him glancing at her a little bit. She managed to throw a middle finger up at Kofi in jest when he teased her about still being asleep at almost 1 pm.

“I sleep late.” Kasey shrugged, sprawling into the chair seated in front of the three men. “Sup, boys.” she nodded nonchalantly, trying not to focus on Drew but finding it mission impossible. She tore her eyes off of him to look back and call out to Big E, “I believe I was promised cinnamon twists?”

“Take off the mask first, K.”

“E, c’mon.” she playfully stomped her foot, pouting up at her friend. Big E held the cinnamon twists out of her reach and took one, dangling it over his mouth. Kasey jumped out of her chair, grabbing, but she fell short, settling lazily on the floor in front of Heath and Jinder who were chuckling. Heath spoke up, smirking at Jinder. “You still sure you wanna do this, man? Lil bit gets feral over food.”

“I do not go feral. I’m little. I gotta eat.” Kasey pulled herself off the floor and pouting the entire time grumpily, she raised the mask she was wearing so that it sat on her hairline instead of over her mouth. Heath ducked out of sight and she raised a brow, eyeing Jinder. “When he disappears, it worries me. Fuckery always follows.”

Sure enough, Heath steps out with one of his daughter’s Nerf bow and arrow toys, with a sheet draped over his tee-shirt and jeans. The arrow he shot in Kasey’s direction bounced off her forehead and she grabbed it, throwing it back towards him. “Doofus!”

From the back of the room, Big E and Jinder were talking back and forth quietly and watching the way Kasey and Drew were both making valiant efforts to to stare at each other for any actual amount of time but failing miserably. “They’re so obvious.”

“Too obvious.” Big E agreed, chuckling as he rubbed his chin. Kofi clapped his hands together and spoke up, taking control of the chaos erupting in the room just as Kasey tripped over the hem of her sweat pants and found herself falling right on to the lap of Drew Gulak.

Drew coughed and shifted in his seat a little, eyeing her in concern. “Are you alright?” he chuckled quietly.

Kasey honestly wanted to say something, but instead of words coming out, her mouth just opened and closed and opened and closed for quite a few seconds. Finally, she managed to get a hold of herself and she leaped off of Drew’s lap after muttering an apology, taking off after Heath all over again to assault the ginger male with one of the foam arrows he’d shot at her.

Drew sat there, watching her. Before he could stop it, the slightest hint of a grin was tugging at his lips and he took a deep breath, clearing his throat loudly and firmly when Kofi stepped up, clapping his hands together. Xavier almost wanted to burst out laughing as he watched Kasey, a literal hellion, go from darting around the room in pursuit of Heath to standing still, eyes glued to Drew Gulak. Tony Nese chuckled to himself quietly and smirked. This whole plan that Jinder and Big E had absolutely had to work because watching the way the two of them were almost painfully aware of one another and yet, going above and beyond to hide the fact was… Something else. And not only that, but if the two were in the same place at the same time, the air was so thick around them that nobody could really breathe.

Tony also knew it was driving Drew insane. Something had to be done.

“Everybody ready to get this started?” Xavier smirked as he asked the question, plopping down a stack of index cards onto Kasey’s lap. “This is your show, half-pint.”

“What are these?”

“Well, we were thinking.. maybe since this is a dating show, maybe you should ask questions. Since you did agree to be the one looking for love.” Kofi just had to tease her about it and Xavier chuckled, nodding in agreement, watching her read through the questions. “It’s just the standard stuff.” he assured her, even though he knew full damn well that no, it was not. The questions all seemed to lean so that if everything went as planned, the odds were tipped heavily in Drew’s favor.

“And nobody trusted you to write your own.” Heath butted in, smirking and laughing as Kasey shot him the bird and gave a soft laugh, her hands going to her face as she felt it heating up all over in a blush. “I can’t ask this shit, guys!” she laughed as she shook her head.

The sleeves of her hoodie almost swallowed her hands, Drew couldn’t help but notice it. It was probably the most adorable thing.. It definitely had him imagining her stealing something of his and wearing it and that mental image sent him straight down the path of shifting around in his seat to attempt getting the situation currently on the rise under control. All it took was her tripping and landing in my lap, the thought taunted him as he caught himself watching her as she read through the questions to kind of get herself used to them.

“What the hell kind of.. Who made up this one, huh? Would I rather wear heels or endure childbirth? Y’all..” Kasey shook her head, cycling through the cards as she tried to choose the first one she wanted to ask. As soon as she saw it, she smirked. “Okay, first question.. If I were a twinkie, what would you fill me with?”

Drew coughed and shifted in his seat again as he tried to come up with an answer, any answer, that didn’t sound as filthy as he was 100 percent sure that the man on either side of him was going to give.

Jinder was up first and he leaned in, winking and smirking as he rubbed his chin, shushing Heath. “Shh man, this is a serious question.” he told his friend before fixing his eyes on Kasey. “I can’t say it on youtube for reasons… but you get it.” he winked and Tony snickered, nudging Drew. “Your turn.”

“I, uhh.. Hm..” Drew felt himself getting irritated. If this were literally anything else, if he weren’t being put on the spot -against two men who probably had a far better chance than me to begin with he thought to himself grimly, he’d know exactly what to say. After a few seconds, he shrugged. “Cream filling.”

“Sir.”

Kasey bit her lip and fidgeted, not even daring to attempt meeting his gaze. She couldn’t because unlike him, she had a dirty mind and right now, that dirty mind was taking her down a whole other path entirely. She looked at her lap, trying to pull herself together, pretending to be focused on the next question.

“Whooo boy.. He went there. On youtube.” Tony teased his best friend, clapping his hands together as he called out to Xavier, “Man, I hope you guys weren’t going to upload this. Because yeah.”

“You’re the one with a dirty mind.” Drew glared at Tony slightly, taking a deep breath. “Cream filling is what’s inside a Twinkie, is it not?”

“Hey man, I’m not the one who went Fifty Shades of Gulak up in here.” Kofi snickered, waving his hands as he shook his head. This episode wasn’t ever going to be uploaded, they were merely pretending to shoot it. To give their two best friends the nudge needed to finally make a move of some sort.

For the sake of Valentines Day. And love.

“How was that … Nevermind.” Drew realized just how everyone in the room had taken his answer and he chuckled quietly about it, shrugging. “Okay, I see it now.”

“Okay, Tony.. any witty answers to match up?” Kasey fixed her eyes on Tony for a fleeting second. She found herself more or less darting back to Drew though, watching him while he wasn’t looking. She felt bad because she knew this had to be making him uncomfortable. It was making her uncomfortable too, but she pressed on.

Tony smirked and shrugged. “Unlike some, I’m gonna keep this kid-friendly. So, I’ll say that what I’d fill you with can’t be said on youtube.” he gave her a teasing wink and Kasey eyed him, a slightly annoyed look.

Good, Tony thought, if we just keep laying it on thick, Gulak has got to come out the winner here. Then maybe the ass will finally do something.

“Anyway, next question.. Okay, here.. If you were a dog, what kind of dog would you be? Dawww, this one is actually kinda cute.” Kasey laughed softly as she settled back in her own chair, looking from man to man.

Jinder shrugged. “Dunno.. A pit bull?”

“More like a chihuahua man. You’re harmless, dude. Face it.” Heath taunted his best friend from nearby, Jinder flipping him off. “You’re ruining my game here, Slater. Don’t you have more babies to make, damn.”

“Et tu.” Heath shook his head, laughing.

“Boys, boys.. Focus.” Kasey was laughing herself, struggling to keep her own focus because she kept finding herself watching Drew. Making sure he wasn’t overly uncomfortable. Trying to remind herself that unlike her, he wasn’t the kind of person who didn’t mind this type of stuff.

Big E nudged Xavier, nodding towards Kasey. “She’s trying to make sure Drew’s fine with all this. Aww.”

“I never would’ve thought I’d see the day she caught feelings. It’s too damn cute, man. And she thinks she’s not obvious with it, poor tiny.”

“If she were any more obvious..” Kofi spoke up, rubbing his chin and smiling in amusement.

Kasey took a deep breath, nodding to Drew. “It’s your turn.”

Drew sat there thinking about the question for a few seconds before responding with a smile, “Golden Retriever.”

Kasey smiled. “I actually have a Golden. His name is Leo.” as she found herself getting lost in deep and dark eyes and having to pull herself out and hopefully before anyone else in the room noticed. She turned to Tony and smirked. “Okay, your turn. What kind of dog would you be?”

“Easy, babe. A lapdog.”

“Horn dog is more like it.” Drew couldn’t help but tense as he mumbled it mostly to himself. Next to him, Tony smirked. Between Jinder being all suave and him just purposely being an over-enthusiastic ass, she had to choose Drew.

“I’m glad we’re not really filming this. There is no way we’d be able to air it.” Xavier snickered as Big E nodded in agreement. “It’s getting the two of them to talk a little more though. This is worth it, man.”

“It is. This is definitely worth it. Our boy lights up whenever she walks into a room.”

“I noticed that!”

Kasey snickered as soon as she heard what Drew muttered. Their eyes met and she dared a playful wink, even poking her tongue out at him a little. Drew eyed her, hints of a smile playing at his lips that only had her staring at them intently for a second or two. Just enough to throw her off her game and for Heath to have to clear his throat and remind her that she had more questions to ask before the guys took their turns asking her questions.

“Right, yeah.. I was just.. Uhh.. thinking.” Kasey fidgeted in her chair, fully aware that right now, Drew had his eyes fixed on her like magnets, a thoughtful expression on his face, almost as if he were seriously considering something.

“Okay, here we go. Guys.. Guys.. I swear to God, Jinder and Tony, I’ma sit both of your asses in time out.” Kasey tapped her foot against the railing along the bottom of her chair as she stared them down intently, unamused. They stopped arguing back and forth - or whatever the hell it was they were doing and Kasey cleared her throat, eyes settling on the card in her hand.

“If you could change your name to anything, what would you change it to?”

Jinder shrugged. “I dunno.. Holden MaGroin?”

Tony caught onto it and snickered, trying to resist side splitting laughter. But he couldn’t, and he doubled over, howling in laughter. And then the others started to catch on, snickering and chuckling.

“And you were sayin about Drew making things spicy earlier, hm?” Kasey eyed Jinder, laughing a little as she shook her head and added, “Duuuude, that was so wrong. So wrong.”

“But it made you laugh, princess.”

The use of a pet name and it’s affect on Drew may have gone unnoticed by Kasey, but the second he tensed and gripped the arm of his chair tighter and that jaw set, Kofi nudged Big E. “If we were wonderin if Tony was full of it, I don’t think so. I think Nese is onto something. Maybe it’s not just Kasey with feelings, man.”

Xavier rubbed his hands together gleefully. “This is too good. And it’s amusing.”

“At you, dork face. I was laughing at you. These are supposed to make you reveal inner bits of yourself man.” Kasey retorted playfully. Her gaze settled on Drew and Drew shrugged, getting more comfortable in his chair, making himself hold eye contact as he spread his legs and rubbed a hand over the back of his head. “I wouldn’t, actually. I happen to like my name.”

“Naturally, Andrew.” Tony remarked, making Drew glare at him for a second or two. Tony rubbed his chin. He had to top Holden MaGroin. He had to. “Buster Cherry.”

Kasey caught on before anyone else and she nearly spat out the energy drink she’d taken a sip of. “Nese, fuck. Gross!”

“Well, I mean.. If the shoe fits?” Tony winked and beside him, Drew tensed even more. He had absolutely no doubt in his mind that later on, he��d definitely be getting a headlock or something when they were out of everyone’s sight and Drew let down those high walls and let the real Gulak come out. Tony found himself kind of hoping Drew would do that here too. Because maybe if he opened up more, he’d enjoy the experience for what it was.

If he did that maybe he’d finally see that he was already the clear winner, he’d already won when Kasey walked into the room and her eyes settled on the man. Everyone around him but him knew she had a thing for him. It was like one of the biggest unspoken facts among the roster. About both of them, honestly.

“Anyway, moving on. Let me try to find a question one of you two won’t make all dirty and shit. And y’all say I have the filthy mind? How?” Kasey feigned a mocked look of offense at the statement as she said it and shuffled through the cards. “Okay, this one. You cannot possibly make this one dirty.”

“Hey, whoa K.. Don’t challenge these two.” Heath spoke up, chuckling as he shook his head.

“They can make anything dirty.” Drew spoke up, catching himself getting lost in the deep forest green of her eyes and promptly not able to pull himself out of them for a second or two. She was blushing a little, but she was staring right back at him. He tried not to, but the tiniest sliver of hope rose to the surface. Maybe she did at least feel something towards him. Maybe Tony wasn’t full of shit after all.

“Is there a memory you have of me that always makes you laugh?”

Jinder smirked. “Oh yeah, definitely. The time you were trying to prove to Heath that you could put your leg behind your shoulder and you did it, but your leg got stuck and I had to pull it down while also trying to talk drunk you out of a panic. It was cute, to be honest.”

“ Maybe for you! I was afraid I was going to wind up on some reality thing where dumbasses get admitted to the ER and have to have limbs removed or broken.” Kasey cringed, but she laughed too.

Drew snickered a little at the story Jinder told and he thought it over, smiling as the perfect one came to mind.

“The first time I met you, you were trying to smuggle kittens up to your hotel room. You didn’t think anyone saw you, but we were on the elevator and I kept hearing meowing. So I look down and there’s a little orange and white head sticking out of the pocket of your hoodie. And all you did was look at me like a kid who’d just gotten caught trying to steal dessert before dinner.. While sneezing and scratching. I thought it was cute.”

Kasey bit her lip, not sure what to say. She could feel herself blushing and she just prayed to the gods that nobody else did.

Tony cleared his throat. He almost wanted to laugh; did they not realize just how much they were staring at each other? Because to everyone else, it was kind of obvious.

“ There was a match.. I believe it was when Drew decided to go down and confront Cedric.”

Drew found himself eyeing Tony first, wondering where he was going with this and then Kasey because Kasey started to fidget and cough and shift through the questions again… Almost as if what was about to be said was.. Not something she wanted to come out.

Kasey eyed Tony, face growing hotter and hotter by the second. In the back of the room, Heath and Kofi were all but doubled over as Xavier smirked and Big E chuckled. “Well this is going to be interesting.”

Tony cleared his throat and continued, smirking at Kasey. “But I believe you know exactly what I’m talking about. It was the first night I met you, actually. I remember you being frozen in place, yelling at the screen. I won’t even get into the interesting choice of words you had. Drew’s virgin ears.” The remark earned him a glare from Drew, but Drew found himself listening, holding his breath and watching Kasey’s reaction intently.

“Tony..”

“Wait, wait. I haven’t even gotten to the best part yet.” Tony’s smirk grew and he continued. “Not only was little bit all but cat calling the monitor.. But she turned real quick, probably embarrassed ya know.. Because she was yelling pretty explicit things in the middle of a crowded hallway. When she went to rush off after realizing she may have gotten too caught up, she turned and smacked the edge of the door into catering, I think? And it busted her eyebrow, left one hell of a scratch. So Paige and I actually had to drag her down to the medic. Two liquid stitches, she got herself.”

“Wait, what on earth?” Drew blurted it out before he could stop himself, eyes fixing on Kasey. All Kasey could do was shrug and grumble and stumble over her words while flipping Tony off. “I was having a moment, okay? Jesus, I can’t help it your rage fit got me all hot and bothered!”

Drew gaped at her a few seconds and Kasey bought her knees to her chin, hiding her face in them. “Tony, you’re a dick.”

“I have one, babe.”

“You are one. An actual walking penis.”

“She’s right, that was a dick move, Nese.” Jinder said it, but the second he realized that Drew and Kasey were having a bit of an intent staring contest and weren’t paying the two of them a speck of attention, he tapped Tony’s shoulder and smirking, he gave Tony a thumbs up. Tony mouthed back to him, “I told you, Mahal. I had a secret weapon.”

From the back of the room, Xavier snickered quietly and Big E leaned in, nodding to the two. “So.. are we still taking bets on who will crack first? Because I’m going down with Kasey. I mean she literally almost did.”

“Oh, I’m still saying Drew. Because I can see it in his eyes.” Kofi spoke up as Xavier shook his head and chuckled. “I’m going to go down with the theory that they both crack.”

Kasey took a few deep breaths, trying to center herself. Oh but naturally, she couldn’t do that with Drew gazing at her intently and curiosity gleaming in his eyes. But she tried.

… Oh come on, Tony’s already outed me.. What’s the worst that can happen if I just lean into it?… And that thought is what lead to Kasey standing and making her way over to where Drew sat, still obviously trying to grasp what was going on, but giving a goofy grin the more it sank in for him.

Big E cleared his throat so everyone would look up to the front of the room where only Drew and Kasey really remained at the time being. Tony chuckled and smirked and Jinder muttered calmly, “It’s about damn time.”

“Hold up, is Kasey about to go for it?”

“I think she is, man. I told you, I told y’all. Kasey was going to crack first.” Heath was practically gloating as he laughed out loud after giving a shrill whistle to encourage her.

Kasey took a deep breath. “Hey Drew?”

“Hm?”

Before he could fully process, Kasey was sitting on the edge of his lap, close but not too close. And she was leaning in closer, her fingertips curling in the front of his tee shirt, tugging him closer to her as she focused so intently on whatever she was up to that Drew found himself paying more attention to the look on her face than he did on her, scooting closer to his body.. Or the way her lips collided with his own, her teeth snagging in his lower lip as a hand raised and tugged at his hair when she pulled him into the kiss even deeper. By the time he caught on, he was a good most of the way breathless and trying to figure out what exactly to do with his hands that didn’t seem too forward for the moment and wouldn’t ruin it because the absolute last thing he wanted right now was for her, to stop kissing him. He wound up grasping her lower back with one hand to keep her steady in his lap and tangling his fingers in the curly ends of her hair, the blunt of his teeth grazing against the soft flesh of her lips. Her lip balm tasted like pineapples and he could taste the sugary taste of the energy drink she’d been drinking throughout the duration of the little game they’d all been playing.

One of them sighed, it wasn’t totally clear whether he actually did it or she did, but either way, it sent a smile tugging at Drew’s lips as the kiss broke. From behind them, everyone was laughing and cheering, with Big E clapping aloud and Kofi humming the wedding march and Xavier shouting “Finally! It’s about time, goodness.” as Heath continued to whistle and Tony and Jinder exchanged the money they’d wagered going into all this.

Heath nodded to the door.. “Okay, this kiss has been goin on a while now.. Maybe we should get outta here, let the love birds have some peace?”

“That’s probably the first smart thing you’ve said, toga boy.” Tony teased the ginger male, Heath pretending as if he were going to square up as the collective group quietly made their way out, totally unnoticed by Drew and Kasey, still kissing, almost as if everything around them totally disappeared.

The kiss broke and Drew took a few deep breaths, staring at Kasey wide-eyed. Kasey was gaping, almost as if she didn’t believe she’d actually just done it. She must have been panicking a little, because she was babbling quietly and she went to make a move to stand but Drew, catching onto it, reached out, hands gripping her hips firmly, guiding her back down into his lap as he leaned in and pressed his forehead against hers, his hands raising from where they rested on her hips to gently cup both her cheeks in his hands, pulling her mouth back against his.

“You have nothing to worry about, okay? Nothing. I wanted you to do that. Honestly, I wanted to do that to you first, I just.. Didn’t.” Drew frowned at his own rambling, but deepened the kiss, pulling Kasey completely against him. One of his hands left her cheek, moving down her side to rest against the small of her back and hold her still in his lap. Kasey deepened the kiss, giving a soft laugh as she did so. The thought had just hit her.

It wasn’t entirely out of the realm of possibility that somehow, their friends arranged this entire thing with this one particular goal in mind. Drew heard the soft laugh and muttered against her mouth lazily, “What’s funny, sweetheart?”

“Oh, nothing, just I think that maybe there’s a smallish chance I wasn’t so good at keeping my little secret and maybe our friends arranged this, because they knew that?”

“Well, if that’s the case then it makes two of us, because if you’re hinting at what I think.. I felt the same way too.” he caressed her cheek, his thumb rolling over it slowly as he gazed into her eyes and smiled, shrugging it off. “And you have no reason to be embarrassed. I mean it. Hey.. do you want to get out of here?”

Kasey giggled as she nodded her head. “I’d love that, actually.”

#drew gulak fanfiction #drew gulak fanfic #drew gulak fic #drew gulak oneshot #drew gulak imagine #// anti valentines day fluff ftw.#// the one in which New Day and a few others try to play cupid #// kissing and fluff

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theonyxpath · 4 years

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Our Legendlore KS only has days left to run, and actually ends on Thursday this week, so as my final push for folks to check it out, I’m not going to try and convince you like last week. I’m going to let two excellent writers do that!

Here’s a great description of Legendlore, written, as only he can, by our own Matthew Dawkins:

But why should you back it? Well, in this time where some gamers are clinging on to the notion that “all orcs are evil from birth”, “disability has no place in fantasy adventures” and “there’s no such thing as a good drow” (they haven’t heard of Drizzt), Legendlore says the opposite.

Legendlore is a fantasy setting where diversity is a strength, we don’t shy away from complex societies and cultures, and where you can damn well buy yourself a wheelchair especially designed for dungeon crawling, or sit on a bloody floating disc! This is a game that embraces the fact that it’s magical, it’s wondrous, and yes, there’s evil out there in need of vanquishing, but there’s also a brilliant world to discover and enlightenment and wisdom to be found.

I’m in love with the art, the writing, and skilful design of this game, which uses the 5th Edition system to amazing effect. I’m impressed by the effort and energy Steffie De Vaan and her entire team of writers have poured into it. It’s a game I want to play, and if you feel orcs are better only as black and white villains, I invite you to read the manuscript – which is available as a free download from DriveThruRPG.com – and feel as impressed as I do.

And here’s developer Steffie De Vann’s excellent take on why she loves the game:

Legendlore offers a rich and layered world. No one is born good or evil, nor does it have ‘evil races.’ People come in all colors, genders, orientations, and alignments. You can be a black trans feminine elf & be right at home in the Realm. Our iconics put our ‘money where our mouth is’ – our elf is a trans black woman, our pixie a non-binary person, our dwarf is a combat veteran in a wheelchair, and I could go on. This is a game that believes diversity is strength. It’s an isekai/portal game, and we created Backgrounds ranging from ‘Activist’ and ‘RPG Aficionado’ to ‘Working Poor.’

The world of Legendlore is home to a sentient 1974’s Ford Mustang, parasite mushrooms that try to kill you by YELLING VERY LOUDLY (trust me, it’s effective), sacred Chipmunks, and the descendants of Amelia Earhart running an aviation nation. It pairs this whimsy with a genuinely complex world. For example, the orcs used to live in what’s now the nation of Drohm. Orcs ambassadors are petitioning the other nations to recognize their sovereignty, but doing so would give Drohm the excuse it needs to go to war – and make no mistake, Darkoth the Darklord *wants* to go to war. Are the orcs right? YES. Should the other nations help them out? HECK YES. Is it understandable that the nations are dragging their feet because war is good for no one except the Generals? Also yes. If that sounds like a conundrum you want to tackle, and sway the fate of Azoth, this is a game for you.

If that sound good to you, go check us out on KS. And if you’re still on the fence – there’s a link in there to a free preview manuscript.

In fact, Steffie has been posting examples of the Legendlore characters she mentions above:

This is Aaliyah, our elven iconic. She’s a Black trans woman who uses a mix of ASL and forestspeak signs to communicate. She’s a peaceful ambassador foremost, but doesn’t back down from a fight when it comes to that.

This is Najda, our dwarven iconic. She is a Muslim army vet who was wounded during her tour in Afghanistan. She now works in a Los Angeles comic book store, where she discovered a crossing into the world of Legendlore.

Here’s Jada, our pixie iconic. Pixies are born agender, and choose a gender as they grow up. Feminine pixies have 2 antenna, masculine pixies have 0, and non-binary pixies have 1. Pixies are as fierce as they are small, they love laughing and hate bullies.

There you go, and here’s the link to the Legendlore Kickstarter: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/339646881/legendlore-rpg-setting-for-5th-edition-fantasy-roleplaying-0

Let the Streets Run Red art by Oliver Specht

Besides Legendlore, What Else?

Just a warning, and it may just be a short-term issue, but right now it seems that we can’t ship anything to Canada or Mexico. We haven’t yet heard whether we can receive packages from those countries, but since our most prolific printers are based in Canada, we may experience some delays in our traditionally printed projects.

Right now, we’re only having issues with getting the physical printer proofs sent back and forth for approvals, and not the actual books themselves.

You’d think after all the panels and Actual Playing I did during the Onyx Path Virtual Gaming Con a few weeks ago that I’d be all talked out. Well, that does not seem to be the case. Ever.

Naw, I love telling folks about what Onyx Path is and the game worlds we make! I just can’t help myself, we have so many exciting and fun things going on!

Last week, Mike and the gang over at the This Week In Geek podcast interviewed me about WW and Onyx Path, and it turned into a sort of oral history of how the companies transformed into each successive version, and just where game lines branched off to different companies and editions.

If that sort of stuff is interesting for you, here ya go: http://thisweekingeek.net/news/interviews/fan-service-interview-rich-thomas-onyx-path-june-2020

Then this weekend, I sat in on a retrospective of the Art of Mage at Ascension Con 2020 along with Satyros Phil Brucato and artists Mark Jackson and Echo Chernik. Echo took on the slideshow duties and we all discussed the Mage art that came up as it appeared.

That was pretty great, and it was certainly a treat to chat with folks I haven’t talked to in years. Hopefully, that recording will show up on YouTube soon and we’ll get you all a link.

Cults of the Blood Gods art by Thomas Denmark

What wasn’t great last week were a couple of issues that we needed to deal with. While we dealt with them as best as we could, we realized that at core our little crew of folks here are simply not HR experts. And more importantly, we shouldn’t try to be.

We need to concentrate on making great games and amazing worlds, like we do.

Which means that tomorrow, I’m interviewing our current best prospect for an HR point-of-contact for the company. Someone who is HR trained and has worked in HR at other companies. And very important for us, someone who is unconnected to Onyx Path and has never been a gamer or in the TTRPG business.

We need someone who doesn’t have the connections or baggage that might make it hard to be objective when they review HR concerns. Hopefully, my interview is the one, and once everything is good to go we’ll include info concerning them prominently on our website so folks know who to contact.

I mean, it’s important that our worlds are all about excitement, and fear, and victory, and defeat. What our creators and community go through in the real world shouldn’t also require all those moments. We want everyone playing our games and reading our books to be safe while they explore our:

Many Worlds, One Path!

Blurbs!

Kickstarter!

The Legendlore Kickstarter is in its last few days and ends this Thursday, and now we’re really building towards Stretch Goals: the GM’s Screen, and starting the Legendlore Companion book PDF!

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/339646881/legendlore-rpg-setting-for-5th-edition-fantasy-roleplaying-0

Grab your friends and escape to another world!

You’ve found an enchanted portal — a transition point — between worlds. The portal, called a Crossing, takes you to a world you thought only existed in novels and films: a magical land where dragons roam the skies, orcs and hobgoblins terrorize weary travelers, and unicorns prance through the forest. It is a world where humans join other peoples such as elves, trolls, dwarves, changelings, and the dreaded creatures who steal the night. It is a world of fantasy — of imagination.

It is the Realm.

It is Legendlore.

Next Up On Kickstarter: They Came From Beyond the Grave!

Onyx Path Media!

This week: the return of the return of the Scion Actual Play as Eddy and Dixie’s characters dig further into the machinations of the gods!

As always, this Friday’s Onyx Pathcast will be on Podbean or your favorite podcast venue! https://onyxpathcast.podbean.com/

All our panels and games from Onyx Path Virtual Gaming Convention are still available on twitch.tv/theonyxpath! All you need to do is head on over to the website and subscribe. If you have an Amazon Prime account, you can do so for free and access our entire catalogue of videos!

Legendlore‘s Kickstarter is coming to an end, but Jen Vaughn’s actual play is still going on our Twitch channel every week on Friday night! Lost in the Crossing is an amazing story played through by a fantastic GM and excellent roleplayers, and handles the Legendlore world from the perspective of visitors and native inhabitants of the Realm! Make sure you’re tuning in every Friday or catching up afterwards by subscribing.

That’s not all for Legendlore, as we have actual plays by Steffie de Vaan and Corinne McCrory over on our YouTube channel, which you can find here https://youtu.be/UaQXSlEatDw and here https://youtu.be/RRvnJOrmNzM! Please give our GMs some support and tune in!

This week on Twitch, expect to see:

V5 – Chicago by Night

Realms of Pugmire – Paws & Claws

Legendlore – The Metal Scourge

Dystopia Rising: Evolution – Thieves of Old York

They Came from Beneath the Sea! – They Came from Devil’s Reef!

Changeling: The Dreaming – The Last Faerie Tale

Mage: The Awakening – Occultists Anonymous

Legendlore – Lost in the Crossing

Scarred Lands – Purge of the Serpentholds

Chronicles of Darkness – Tooth and Claw

Deviant: The Renegades – A Cautionary Tale

Get watching for some fantastic insight into how to run these wonderful games.

Come take a look at our YouTube channel, youtube.com/user/theonyxpath, where you can find a whole load of videos of actual plays, dissections of our games, and more, including:

Legendlore – The Metal Scourge: https://youtu.be/ECRrErPLm64

Storytellers with Coffee – Safety Tools: https://youtu.be/FjG-YbG_Q1k

Mage: The Ascension – Technocracy Reloaded: https://youtu.be/9Al7ZdkLGiM

Even more Legendlore – The Metal Scourge: https://youtu.be/RRvnJOrmNzM

#OnyxPathCon | How to Write for TTRPGs [Panel]: https://youtu.be/UKmJQEhInP8

Subscribe to our channel and click the bell icon if you want to be notified whenever new news videos and uploads come online!

Occultists Anonymous continues right here with their excellent Mage: The Awakening chronicle:

Episode 108: Car-V Heist While Songbird prepares for a dangerous summoning, Atratus and Wyrd hit the junkyards with an overly elaborate plan to make an overly elaborate gift. How very Mage of them… https://youtu.be/wSy3c74jkfM

Episode 109: Crown of Blood Wyrd and Atratus enjoy the joy of a well-made gift and the good vibes that comes with that. Songbird joins together with Hadramiel to summon an Angel of Death to anoint a Vampire Prince in power. https://youtu.be/QxB6Ml6uStY

A Bunch of Gamers continue their actual play of They Came from Beneath the Sea! and conclude it with a mini review: https://youtu.be/qIMwcOZmR8k

The Botch Pit have released a wonderful new guide for Changeling: The Lost right here. Do give them a like and a subscribe: https://youtu.be/Bd0UZQZt2OM

Please check these out and let us know if you find or produce any actual plays of our games! We’d love to feature you!

Electronic Gaming!

As we find ways to enable our community to more easily play our games, the Onyx Dice Rolling App is live! Our dev team has been doing updates since we launched based on the excellent use-case comments by our community, and this thing is awesome! (Seriously, you need to roll 100 dice for Exalted? This app has you covered.)

On Amazon and Barnes & Noble!

You can now read our fiction from the comfort and convenience of your Kindle (from Amazon) and Nook (from Barnes & Noble).

If you enjoy these or any other of our books, please help us by writing reviews on the site of the sales venue from which you bought it. Reviews really, really help us get folks interested in our amazing fiction!

Our selection includes these latest fiction books:

Our Sales Partners!

We’re working with Studio2 to get Pugmire and Monarchies of Mau out into stores, as well as to individuals through their online store. You can pick up the traditionally printed main book, the screen, and the official Pugmire dice through our friends there! https://studio2publishing.com/search?q=pugmire

We’ve added Prince’s Gambit to our Studio2 catalog: https://studio2publishing.com/products/prince-s-gambit-card-game

Now, we’ve added Changeling: The Lost Second Edition products to Studio2‘s store! See them here: https://studio2publishing.com/collections/all-products/changeling-the-lost

Scion 2e books and other products are available now at Studio2: https://studio2publishing.com/blogs/new-releases/scion-second-edition-book-one-origin-now-available-at-your-local-retailer-or-online

Looking for our Deluxe or Prestige Edition books? Try this link! http://www.indiepressrevolution.com/xcart/Onyx-Path-Publishing/

And you can order Pugmire, Monarchies of Mau, Cavaliers of Mars, and Changeling: The Lost 2e at the same link! And now Scion Origin and Scion Hero and Trinity Continuum Core and Trinity Continuum: Aeon are available to order!

As always, you can find Onyx Path’s titles at DriveThruRPG.com!

On Sale This Week!

Available this Wednesday, we present Dystopia Rising: Evolution shirts and posters on our RedBubble store!

Conventions!

Though dates for physical conventions are subject to change due to the current COVID-19 outbreak, here’s what’s left of our current list of upcoming conventions (and really, we’re just waiting for this last one to be cancelled even though it’s Nov/Dec). Instead, keep an eye out here for more virtual conventions we’re going to be involved with:

PAX Unplugged: https://unplugged.paxsite.com/

And now, the new project status updates!

Development Status from Eddy Webb! (Projects in bold have changed status since last week.):

First Draft (The first phase of a project that is about the work being done by writers, not dev prep.)

Exalted Essay Collection (Exalted)

Adversaries of the Righteous (Exalted 3rd Edition)

The Devoted Companion (Deviant: The Renegades)

Saints and Monsters (Scion 2nd Edition)

Trinity Continuum: Anima

M20 Technocracy Operative’s Dossier (Mage: The Ascension 20th Anniversary)

Squeaks In The Deep (Realms of Pugmire)

Redlines

Dragon-Blooded Novella #2 (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Hundred Devil’s Night Parade (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Novas Worldwide (Trinity Continuum: Aberrant)

Exalted Essence Edition (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Wild Hunt (Scion 2nd Edition)

CtL 2e Novella Collection: Hollow Courts (Changeling: The Lost 2e)

Second Draft

Many-Faced Strangers – Lunars Companion (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Mission Statements (Trinity Continuum: Aeon)

Contagion Chronicle Ready-Made Characters (Chronicles of Darkness)

Trinity Continuum: Adventure! core (Trinity Continuum: Adventure!)

Dead Man’s Rust (Scarred Lands)

The Clades Companion (Deviant: The Renegades)

V5 Forbidden Religions (Vampire: The Masquerade 5th Edition)

M20 Rich Bastard’s Guide To Magick (Mage: The Ascension 20th Anniversary)

V5 Children of the Blood (was The Faithful Undead) (Vampire: The Masquerade 5th Edition)

Development

TC: Aberrant Reference Screen (Trinity Continuum: Aberrant)

Across the Eight Directions (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Contagion Chronicle: Global Outbreaks (Chronicles of Darkness)

Exigents (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Assassins (Trinity Continuum Core)

V5 Trails of Ash and Bone (Vampire: The Masquerade 5th Edition)

Kith and Kin (Changeling: The Lost 2e)

Manuscript Approval

Crucible of Legends (Exalted 3rd Edition)

M20 Victorian Mage (Mage: the Ascension 20th Anniversary Edition)

Under Alien Skies (Trinity Continuum: Aeon)

N!ternational Wrestling Entertainment (Trinity Continuum: Aberrant)

Post-Approval Development

Editing

Lunars Novella (Rosenberg) (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Mummy: The Curse 2nd Edition core rulebook (Mummy: The Curse 2nd Edition)

Player’s Guide to the Contagion Chronicle (Chronicles of Darkness)

Contagion Chronicle Jumpstart (Chronicles of Darkness)

TC: Aberrant Jumpstart (Trinity Continuum: Aberrant)

Trinity Continuum Jumpstart (Trinity Continuum)

Masks of the Mythos (Scion 2nd Edition)

LARP Rules (Scion 2nd Edition)

Heirs to the Shogunate (Exalted 3rd Edition)

The Book of Lasting Death (Mummy: The Curse 2e)

They Came From Beyond the Grave! (They Came From!)

Scion: Dragon (Scion 2nd Edition)

Scion: Demigod (Scion 2nd Edition)

Dearly Bleak – Novella (Deviant: The Renegades)

Post-Editing Development

City of the Towered Tombs (Cavaliers of Mars)

W20 Shattered Dreams Gift Cards (Werewolf: The Apocalypse 20th)

Cults of the Blood Gods (Vampire: The Masquerade 5th Edition)

Hunter: The Vigil 2e core (Hunter: The Vigil 2nd Edition)

Trinity Continuum: Aberrant core (Trinity Continuum: Aberrant)

Deviant: The Renegades (Deviant: The Renegades)

Monsters of the Deep (They Came From Beneath the Sea!)

Legendlore core book (Legendlore)

Pirates of Pugmire KS-Added Adventure (Realms of Pugmire)

Tales of Aquatic Terror (They Came From Beneath the Sea!)

Terra Firma (Trinity Continuum: Aeon)

One Foot in the Grave Jumpstart (Geist: The Sin-Eaters 2e)

Indexing

Art Direction from Mike Chaney!

In Art Direction

Tales of Aquatic Terror – Handing off to Meredith to AD.

WoD Ghost Hunters (KS) – Prepping KS assets.

Aberrant – AD’d. Sketches from HIVE in.

Hunter: The Vigil 2e

Mummy 2

Deviant

Legendlore – KS running.

Technocracy Reloaded (KS)

Cults of the Blood God – Rolling along.

Scion: Dragon (KS) – Waiting on art notes.

Masks of the Mythos (KS) – Pinging potential cover and fulls artist.

Scion: Demigod (KS) – Art rolling. KS assets AD’d.

They Came From Beyond the Grave! (KS) – Prepping KS assets.

TC: Adventure! (KS) – Shen Fei cover art finishing.

Geist: One Foot In the Grave – AD’d.

In Layout

Yugman’s Guide to Ghelspad

Vigil Watch

TC Aeon Terra Firma

V5 Let the Streets Run Red – working layout now.

Pugmire Adventure

Scion Titanomachy

Proofing

Trinity Aeon Jumpstart – Errata gathering.

Lunars: Fangs at the Gate – Page XXs.

Contagion Chronicle – Backer PDF out to backers, gathering errata.

Cavaliers of Mars: City of the Towered Tombs

Magic Item Decks (Scarred Lands)

Yugman’s Guide Support Decks (Scarred Lands)

Dark Eras 2 Screen and booklet

At Press

Scion Companion – Awaiting errata from devs.

TCFBTS Heroic Land Dwellers – PoD files uploaded.

TCFBTS Screen and Booklet – Files at press.

They Came from Beneath the Sea! – Press proofs signed off on, PoD files uploaded.

Creature Collection 5e – PoD proof ordered. Traditional files sent to printer.

Pirates of Pugmire – Files at press. PoD proofs ordered.

Pirates of Pugmire Screen – Files at press.

Pugmire Buried Bones – PoD files uploaded.

Changeling: The Lost 2nd Edition Dark Eras Compilation – Creating PoD file.

Today’s Reason to Celebrate!

This coming week is a big one for our household with the birthdays of two of our widdle kiddies (really not widdle at all any more), and the July 4th celebration of the American colonies’ independence from Great Britain! “And just as Tom here has written, we say To Hell With Great Britain!” Sorry, Matthew…

In sadder news, we acknowledge the passing of Jim Holloway, noted artist for Paranoia and Star Frontiers and many early issues of Dragon Magazine. Personally, I very much enjoyed his style, and he brought a technical expertise and a sense of humor to the early TTRPG business that it sorely needed.

#Onyx Path Publishing

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