#if you dont have an established relationship with a trans person it is not ok to address them by their assigned gender at birth in ways lik | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bongkillua · 6 months

Note

im SUPER late to the ask game however. 5 & 9 for all of them

anon you are never too late i love talking abt these guys and these r rly good questions

5. How did you figure out your oc’s identity?

TUCKER - Tucker's has definitely ebbed and flowed with my own identity! He initially had a very different backstory that was explicitly about him being a stealth and closeted gay trans man. the way i played him made it so that it didnt really work for him to be trans but i hate playing cis characters so there was some weird magic and memory shit involved to make it work. but it just didnt make sense with the reworked story. took it as an opportunity to make him more openly trans but he was still an exclusive gay man for a while. and well then xander came around and i realized i was bisexual so now tucker is unlabeled because i just know hes going to keep changing with me. but like i truly dont think his character can wholly by separated from Gay Trans Man because so much of his personality and identity was built around that in the beginning.

XANDER - i made xander for the sole purpose of having fun with him. like seriously i made him for a school assignment because i didnt have a "cunty, whorish enough" character for the assignment and then she just stuck around so like... her identity has always just been "whatever is fun!" in the beginning he was like explicitly transmasc but i was playing around with using she/her pronouns for myself again so i gave them to xander to see if it would help me gain more confidence and it did! as i fleshed her out more tho her backstory started to rly revolve around changing identity and like specifically masculinity vs. femininity and how she performs both, and wuth that came the idea of transitioning back and forth over periods of time. because of THAT i wanted her to be really into drag because thats what drag is all about... and because shes rly into drag i wanted to explore her relationship to the transFEMININE experience because drag really cant be separated from that. so ive rly focused on embodying binary identities as performance for her gender. and because she sleeps around a lot ive just made her super fluid in terms of sexuality. shes not picky!

JORDAN - jordan was a he/they from the jump but i struggled a lot with their design and development for like YEARS but once i finally started fleshing them out i was immediately like "nah this guy prefers they/them and tacks he on for normies" and it genuinely helped me solidify his perception of not only their own identity but also life in general? theyre very "go with the flow because theyre extremely confident in themself and dont care how others perceive them". and then bisexual just seemed Right. idk. he sorta embodies "cool bisexual kid in high school that helps u realize ur also queer" and i just kinda went with the stereotype lol. also he seems like a Megan Fox Enjoyer.

KONAMI - i designed konami at a time where i was rly interested in the intersection of neurodivergence and queerness so his identity was def informed by that! along with queerness in childhood as a theme. ive always associated aesthetics like his with the rise in usage of neopronouns (in a good way!) so it just made sense to have them use it/its. if i wasnt a coward id throw some more fun pronouns on there but konami is also just a little guy so i honestly default to he/him a lot in the same way that you'd refer to like. a dog. and once again bisexual just made sense. i established pretty early on that his parents were super accepting of him being trans (konami was a binary trans guy when he was alive!) so i feel like sexuality just wasnt a huge concern for him.

9. Are there cultural or lore specific aspects to their identity? If applicable, does their species affect it?

OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD THIS IS LITERALLY THE ENTIRE UNDERLYING PREMISE OF WOLFSBANE SO HERE WE GO LOL

TUCKER- ok so the more independent tucker became as a character the more i really leaned into how lycanthropy influences his identity and specifically his queerness. its always been a big part of his story but i rly got to Focus on it once he was mine and mine alone. so in wolfsbane lycanthropy is like. almost directly a metaphor for neurodivergence and like. how do i say this. Being Weird And Feeling Wrong As A Child. which you could argue also makes it a metaphor for transness but like i feel like his lycanthropy makes him trans in other separate ways? like lycanthropy in wolfsbane canonically causes an increase in testosterone production so tucker naturally has facial hair and body hair and a rly deep voice and "male-aligned" body fat distribution. despite being afab. and thats like a big struggle in the story bc his father wants him to Hide that but tucker is very Confident in that, both because he wants to embrace being a werewolf but ALSO because it gives him gender euphoria. and it takes him a LONG time to figure out that those are simultaneously separate things ("im not trans i just look like this!" (you are. you are trans)) and also intrinsically tied (transness as a feeling of Other as opposed to a distinct Gender Identity). AUGH idk if that makes sense. sexuality works pretty similarly. tucker has to repress a lot of himself because his family is scared that his lycanthropy will make him unruly and uncontrollable, and that he will hurt WHOEVER he loves. and in trying to control him they want him to Assimilate (aka Be Heterosexual). so he faces a similar struggle where he spends a long time trying to figure out if hes queer because he Likes Men or if hes queer because he Likes People, BOTH of which have been withheld from him.

XANDER- xander is an energy vampire and relies a lot on the balance between Taking and Giving. this means that he has to hide his true identity and give people a false one in order to get what he needs from them. and when you are performing an identity day in and day out is it really a performance anymore? or is it such a performance that it cant possibly be who you are? so thats like the Central struggle that vampirism invokes onto his identity. sexuality works similarly (can you tell that i have a hard time distancing gender from sexuality?) where he spends so much time forging these fake bonds and hooking up with anyone who will give him the time of day that he really doesnt have the time, energy, or maturity to figure out who he's Truly attracted to. her constant need to perform makes it nearly impossible for her to feel authentic in any way.

JORDAN- im gonna start sounding like a broken record at this point but my understanding of transness and queerness is so far removed from the idea of gender itself that i have no choice but to talk about identity as a whole. SORRY. anyways jordan's identity is heavily influenced by his schizophrenia and his dad. and the way THAT influences him is that he wants to Minimize his body because they do not feel attached to their body at all. and Maximize his ability to Reflect his Father because those experiences were the most important to him. so like. really thinking about it now i feel like a big reason why they even identify as transmasc is a. They Need To Remove Any Unnecessary Part Of Their Body NOW And That Means The Tits Have Got to Go amd b. he can distance himself from who he was as a child and align himself with his FATHER who is like the most important and influential figure in his life. in terms of sexuality they're kind of similar to xander but like the reverse side of the coin? They are so authentically themself that its hard for them to find room in their life for another person. so like while jordan identifies as bisexual i often say they also align themself with aromanticism because romance is just very difficult for him to figure out. a lot of the times it boils down to utility over attraction. which works for some people! (tucker) and not for others (all of his ex's).

KONAMI- konami died and forgot what gender and sexuality were. i explain this more HERE but because of konami's history it doesnt have a reference point for what gender Is. so a lot of his identity boils down to concepts as opposed to things like masculinity and femininity. i really want to do more deep exploration into how tucker, xander, and jordan's queerness influences konami's own identity as well as his perception of gender and identity but i guess for a quick answer he latches onto Connecting Words before he latches onto Individual Labels. so things like "dad" and "aunt" make more sense to him than "man" and "woman" because they have a purpose and a role attached to them. but then again those roles have been defined by queer people who don't perfectly fit into the Status Quo of that role but enact/perform it in unique and nuanced ways. this is also why he more quickly latches onto "son" and "boy" (and specifically how boy fits into a Family structure) than any other gendered labels. again like ive stated before, bisexual came pretty easily because with a lack of gender awareness just came an understanding that gender wasn't a factor in regards to attraction. hence bisexual.

this is so long omfg but what it all boils down to is um. my relationship to queerness is founded on experience, intersectionality, and bodily autonomy, not gender as its own concept. so nonhuman identities (and sometimes just Different Human identities) are always going to influence identity and Be A Metaphor for HOW experience influences identity and vis versa.

#tucker #xander #jordan #konami #wolfsbane #i hope this makes sense christ almighty #category 6 million autism event #anoff #blurry answers #mine

1 note · View note

lucaawrites · 3 years

Text

fluff masterlist

keys:

in progress

to be written

MARAUDERS & HARRY POTTER:

our angel | r.l x s.b x j.p x male reader: just a lazy morning with your boyfriends || pre-established relationship, poly!marauders, modern!au || 324 words || fic

a bad day | c.d x h.p x male reader: this was definitely a bad day, but your boyfriends were with you || hurt/comfort, pre-established relationship, poly relationship || 922 words || requested || fic

pretty boy | r.w x male reader: you had been doing stuff all day, you were tired, and ron was there for you || pre-established relationship, modern!au || 652 words || fic

ron weasley having a trans ftm slytherin boyfriend || requested || headcanons

no homo | j.p x male reader: the 5 times where your relationship with james was no homo and the one time it was a little homo || fluff, friends to lovers, oblivious mutual pinning || requested (Could you please write some absolutely tooth rotting fluff for james potter x male reader 🥺🥺 I'm touch starved af) || fic

the marauders being with you when you are recovering from top surgery || headcanons

boyfriend | r.w x trans male reader ||requested || fic

unnamed | r.w x male reader || requested (Hi hi! This may be a weird ask/request (I hope it’s not and that it’s ok 🥺) but how do you think Ron would be like dating a muggle?(male reader of course) I personally think it’ll be pretty cute, like he’s bring him to the burrow and just be adorable and soft as they teach each other things about each other’s worlds) || fic

unnamed | j.p x male reader || requested (Can I request a James Potter x reader (They/he) where the reader is in Slytherin and they fall for each other during a Quidditch game?) || fic

unnamed | b.z x trans male reader || requested (Hi, can you do a tranmale!reader x Blaise from hp. One where there reader want to give him signs that the reader is a trans boy but like the teader tells him and he just goes "yea i know" and the reader is just like "oh, ok" or something like that. You can have is sad or not what ever works for you. Dont feel obligated to have to do this. Hope you have a good day, thank you!) || fic

unnamed | h.g x trans male reader || requested (hi! no rush on this, but i was wondering if you could make a long fic about a trans!male reader x hermione? i had an idea that maybe the reader takes her out on a cute picnic date at the castle (assuming they’ve been dating for a couple months) and the reader decides to finally tell hermione he’s trans and is super nervous. i just adore the idea of hermione being super supportive and seeing him as the same boy just as he was before and continuously reassuring him when she realizes how nervous he was to tell her. just a thought, but again no rush! thank you so much :)) || fic

unnamed | h.p x gender neutral reader || requested (Hello! Can I request a Harry Potter x reader (they/them pronouns) i don’t really care what happens as long as it’s fluff :)) || fic

unnamed | r.b x male reader || requested (HI! i’m so glad your back and doing better, also don’t apologize for taking a break to take care of yourself! i was wondering if you could write a regulus black x james’s younger gryffindor brother (who is also on the quidditch team). regulus hates him because he’s loud and also likes to pull pranks on the other students but the reader doesn’t really have a problem. but regulus starts gets into a fight with the reader and he’s just not really taking it seriously and is just flirting with him instead of arguing back. then when yelling at him it accidentally slips out that regulus likes the reader. sorry idk if this makes sense how to explain this better 💀) || fic

MARVEL:

my king | t.o x male reader

thor being with you when you are recovering from top surgery || headcanons

peter parker being with you when you are recovering from top surgery || headcanons

189 notes · View notes

pocmuzings · 3 years

Note

hi g! i am an admin of an rp and i really strive to make it as inclusive as possible so muns of all fcs feel welcome. i'm curious to know, when you are looking for an rp what do you look for in terms of admins making it inclusive? this isn't meant to be pointed at all, i am just genuinely looking to improve!

i feel like i answer this a fair bit , and honestly my answers don’t change too much ? there’s a plethora of things u can do , and by no means are these definitive . these are things ive noticed make me feel more included , or Safe to join a rp . speaking as a woc , and somebody in the Cursed tz . .

if ur an admin .. u should absolutely be playing a diverse character . please for the love of god . u should be the example of what the rp is about and what u wanna see . if ur char is just a cis whitey . . that just doesnt cut it for me ! thats not what i wanna see in 2021 !

when asked for most wanted fcs . . really name some ‘ unpopular ‘ fcs . aka faceclaims of colour . faceclaims that are gender diverse , body diverse , religiously diverse , different able bodied , etc , etc , etc !!! put these fcs in the forefront ! push for them ! strive to see them !

if somebody joins ur rp as a ‘ non popular fc ‘ aka . . a fc that isnt a whitey , or like . .zendaya . pls put in extra effort to plot and rp with them ! pls pls pls. because i guaranteed for the most part , especially in an established rp , they will be ignored otherwise ! if ur rp is super inclusive ooc , then this most likely wont happen , but also . . most rps arent super inclusive ooc lets be 100 here .

either write skeletons for chars that are DIFFERENT and ‘ challenging ‘ to some , or ENCOURAGE these characters to be written . write more smooth talking business men who are indian ! write characters who are hard of hearing ! write characters who wear hijabis ! who are ethnic but have great relationships with their parents ! write characters who are in wheelchairs , or are sexy and confident in their plus sized bodies . write characters who are black women who are soft , but still strong . write gentle black men . write a trans man , write a nonbinary god , etc , etc . defeat the stereotypes ! turn them on their head ! there are guides ! there is so much out there ! we can create the world we wanna live in , so why fill it with boring white cis , hetero normative ppl ???

know what ur gonna do with ur characters , plot wise . if ur rp has a plot , thats fantastic ! but . . u probably have to carry that momentum . ppl join ur rp bc they probably LIKE the plot and wanna explore the plot . so how r they characters gonna be involved ? whats their part in it all ? how will it help them develop ? what plot drops / tasks / events can u host that will make ppl do more with their chars and be more active ?

don’t have an ooc chat . just don’t . please . they’re so cliquey , they literally always are . those who like ooc chats are usually the ppl who r cliquey , im being honest fjknfjn . there is no point in having an ooc chat , really either . ppl can add each other on discord at any time , for free , if they want .

have clear boundaries . what can and CANNOT be rped . what fcs can and CANNOT be used . have a very very clear line . no lazy ‘ no taboo plots ‘ or ‘ no big plots without talking to admins ‘ ‘ no triggering topics ‘ ‘ no deceased fcs ‘ . no . u need to get in the nitty gritty . u need to ensure ur harbouring and keeping a safe space for those entering ur rp

be friendly , as an admin . be firm . but also , be very very open and candid and honest . if something goes wrong ? its so fine , and honestly v human , to post abt it ! if there’s drama ? its rlly good to address it and talk abt it amongst ur rpers . listen to ur rpers , if theres a problem . create open communication . maintain it . show that u care and want to help , when u can help , whilst also maintaining ur own sanity !

advertise ur rp for different timezones ! if ur entire ooc list is just rpers in the united states . . look . nothing wrong with it , but firstly , make sure everyone in the rp doesnt think america is the whole world ( the rpc / america rlly thinks its the whole fucking world sometimes ) . this means , dont make fun of ppl for spelling things differently ( honestly im just australian and this guy once made fun of me for spelling it as ‘ offence ‘ not ‘ offense ‘ . like . . ok im not american . the whole world isnt america kjfnjf ) . this doesn’t mean u need to be online at bizarre hours or ruining ur sleeping pattern , but try and get an admin thats in a diff timezone to help cover things ! or just make sure ur rlly advertising ur rp at allll times of a day . including when us ppl are usually asleep ! try and encourage other muns in other timezones to apply ! and when they do apply , pls try ur best to include them and make sure theyre not left out of everything !

theres probably a lot more but this is what first comes to mind for me , personally . this are usually my ‘ green signs ‘ ( go go go ! ) for a rp ! when i see this stuff on a main , or by an admin . . i feel very Warm n fuzzy .

#shutup g.#rph #rpc #again i know im missing a lot but hee honk #Anonymous

30 notes · View notes

darlington-v · 3 years

Note

HELLO YES IS ONE OF(?) THE FELLOW TRANSMASC BEEDUO ENJOYERS, RESPONDING AFTER A MULTIDAY DELAY.

CANT BELIVE THAT HANDHOLDING SHIT.

As someone else who has (on a certain level) like, made that connection, of someone I can be very affectionate with, but am still in the gender closet with for various reasons. I can absolutely understand your impulse and the preassure... a lot of my hesitation is based around a fear of going against some kind of perceived "ground work" in that relationship. And then I get frustrated because in this relationship and others i just would not have to think so much about this and how I present myself if I had just been born a cisguy. I am also just yearning for bro friendships where I'm just perceived as a dude from the get-go, even if I end up acting ""feminin"" or some shit.

But when I think about all the relationships I've had, I wouldn't want to have "skipped over" any of them, even if I wasn't, or didn't start by presenting my truly authentic self. I can't bring myself to regret or fully resent any of those connections, even if in my heart I can't always regard them as 100% "valid" or "genuine" in the context of how I know I was/am perceived and how I present. I dunno, I hope that makes sense, and helps in some way... I guess what im trying to say is, even if I have wishes and yearnings of how things could be different, I still am happy to have had the relationships I've had.... and I know ill just keep meeting new folks and either things will work out or they wont, and that'll be ultimatly for the best...

But hughu its also kinda silly when I think about it, that some internet dudes make me confront and think about all this shit. But it also does make sense too.

I don't know its very hard to explain, feel free to just ignore all this.

yes!!!! i TOTALLY understand this!

it's really frustrating because i would love to seek out other communities and environments that may lead into relationships similar to that of like??? SAME AFFECTION????? but im afraid to put myself out ANYWHERE new because i don't want to be perceived as like... woman-lite or anything. i don't want anyone to have to rethink how they perceive me i just wanted to present in the way that i feel.

similarly to what you said, i don't want to build something on "ground-work" i know i'll have to break down and like. make the REAL ground work pretty much?

and yeah! same! i get frustrated as well because it would just be much easier to deal w/ if i was just. cis. but i don't dwell on that too much, luckily

however i still run into the same issue: (more long winded venty shit below, ur invited to me being extremely vulnerable on the internet have fun)

how can i deal with this and make this easier for myself? is it... achievable even? like! yeah! how can i simply start new relationships with this... pre-established certainty of "that is a Boy! a BONAFIDE boy!" like... not even cis but just.

i struggle with the idea that most people who aren't trans will like... not... TRULY respect my identity? like behind closed doors. which is something i know a lot of trans people struggle with and honestly that is... our own issue in regards to trust. if no one throws and red flags that they don't actually respect your identity, then you really just have to trust that they do.

it's just... honestly putting conditions on like. your trust i guess. PERSONALLY. like im putting conditions on myself such as: if i present masculine then people will respect my identity and assimilate to how i identify, even if i don't present that yet.

which... usually isn't the case? people may take longer to assimilate but if someone is going to respect you, you can usually tell. or i feel like i can.

however. i guess. i want to shortcut the assimilation? but it's unfair to me to just put myself on hold until i don't need to ask people to like. REALLY understand liek HEY. THAT PITCHY MOTHERFUCKER IS A DUDE. because it's hard. and i, in my tiny pea brain, feel like a shortcut would just already be presenting male boy man MASCULINE. however, like i said, it's unfair for me to put that on myself bc that's a LONG time to wait!! that's coming out, getting a new wardrobe, and ALSO getting HRT!! that doesn't just happen in one day.

i explained to some friends that like. sometimes i wish i could just present a certain way and then no one could really ever know me intimately.

and it's definitely not that im... ASHAMED of being trans!! it's very nice and cool! however i feel sad that like... we're still adjusting as a society in terms of like... gender i guess? like... i do not want to be seen as woman-lite by anyone. in any degree. and sometimes you need a deeper understanding of gender to get past like... the weird like. ok he's... he's boy but like kinda not boy??

IT'S JUST. MMM. BEING PERCEIVED AND NOT INTERPRETTED CORRECTLY IS VERY TERRIFYING AND I HATE IT AND UR RIGHT BEING CIS WOULD BE EASIER, I DON'T NECESSARILY WANT TO BE CIS, I WOULD JUST LIKE TO EMULATE CISNESS WHILST REMAINING QUEER WHICH I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF IT'S POSSIBLE.

however same!!! the relationships i have now i love and i care very deeply about and i feel that like... even though they've known me before i was like "ok masc and he/they" and shit like that, i do feel like they understand like

*points* boy!!

however when it comes to strangers it's so... scary. and like IDK. ITS SO FUNNY BECAUSE I'VE NEVER HAD TO DEAL WITH THIS BEFORE. AND IT'S WHY I WANT TO LIKE? EXPLORE THE COMMUNITY FOR OLDER TRANS PEOPLE. LIKE HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH THIS???? how can you just BE OKAY when like... introducing yourself to strangers.

how can you just let... strangers in?

which is also *THROWS THINGS* THE WORST PART!!! I WANT TO BE A CONTENT CREATOR BUT I DON'T WANT TO WAIT!!!! I WANT MY VIEWERS TO GO BOY BOY BUT THEY WONT BECAUSE I HAVE NO FORM OF PRESENTATION BESIDE A PERSONA AND A VOICE AND MY VOICE IS PITCHY!!! ITS SO HIGH AND PITCHY!!!

and it's frustrating!! because i don't want an audience who doesn't like understand BOY!!! NOT WOMAN-LITE!!!!!!! NOT WOMAN GOING THRU PHASE!!!!!

BOYYYYY!!!!!

TLDR;

being trans is hard and i just don't want to be seen as woman-lite. i want to bee seen as like cis boy but trans. like i think i'd take more kindly to someone being like "omg i didn't even know you were trans!" to like someone infantilizing me and calling me a sweet little boy bean. and thats a lot easier between close friends! even though they have heard my voice and they've listened to me talk about being trans! they understand. and strangers?? have the potential to not. like they might? but what if they dont... and that's. Scary.

#asks #anon #prince is a fahjay #actually anon this has been a therapy session in and of its own and it's helped a lot! my therapist was like #THIS IS MULTILAYERED #THIS IS GONNA NEED MULTIPLE SESSIONS #and i was like ahhh shit ur right #but this actually helped me compose my thoughts! :]#trans achilleans getting sent into queer crises by bee duo squad #new long ass tag

3 notes · View notes

yaboyspodcastpalace · 3 years

Note

For the character asks: Jon, Peter Lukas, Annabelle Cane? (giving multiple suggestions so you can pick one in case you get the same character twice in different asks)

very kind of you to assume i get many asks :') THANKS ill do all of them u_u

[Send me a character and i'll tell you...]

(under the cut bc i love talking and this got long lmao)

Jon

First impression

he's a uptight prick with obvious favoritism for sasha and tim and i love him so! much!!!!!!

Impression now

my poor little mew mew hm................I've got a complicated relationship w/ jon bc i love him a lot, but i loved s1 him the most, and literally everything else just makes me really, brutally, sad ;_; The way he tries so desperately to cling to his humanity and how other characters just call him by the title imposed to him makes me wanna cry

...also he just cares so much ;_; i cry

Favorite moment

probably his interactions with georgie at the beginning of season 3!!! From s5 id say when he killed not!sasha, it felt vindictive ù_ú

Idea for a story

Dhfhdh im p basic when it comes to him ngl, either jon/tim/sasha friends to lovers or jon and desolation!tim or *something*!sasha trying to stay as human as possible, together 😔 (or just any of them living and coping together in s4 n s5)

Unpopular opinion

Im just not a fan of monster jon, at all! He's not the type of character that i enjoy seeing having a corruption arc unfortunately!! It just hurts!!! (and this Is from someone that Loves corruption arcs!!!)

Also i really hate moth jon imagery??? For not particular reason, moths are pretty, but i still hate it u_u AND THE ASSOCIATION OF GREEN W/ JON (or the beholding in general!) I CANNOT STAND IT!! i know its bc of the tma logo but guess what! Its wrong! Purple jon rights!!!

ALSO ALSO the so called pining he had for martin just.... didnt felt like that at all! i have Many feelings abt this!

Favorite relationship

either georgie in s3, or sasha!!! i love how he always praises sasha in her research in s1 and even thought he's at his driest & sharp Trying-To-Project-Professionalism-And-Skepticism she still rolls into his office, interrupts him mid statement to banter w/ him abt pronunciation n stuff and its just Normal, like that speaks volumes of how comfortable they felt around each other! they were friends gdi! the moment he realizes she died and then everytime the not!them mocks him w/ her death makes me wanna break smth q_q

im not even gonna mention tim bc even though i love their relationship It 👏 makes me👏 very 👏 sad 👏

non shippy and also staying strictly canon, i love his relationship with melanie!

Favorite headcanon

sometimes i think abt that one hc that hes really good with arcade games bc he lived near the coast and i smile bc thats cute :) also hes a trans man 💙💗🤍💗💙

Peter

First impression

Mystery evil captain man!!! Fog?? I LOVE him :)

Impression now

I STILL LOVE HIM SO MUCH!!!!!!!!! Hes an asshole and has a lovely voice and smile and hes not, hes not Dumb but also he's far from the whooooa evil lonely influence he think he is (played like a cheap fiddle). He also makes me sad in ways i cannot and wont describe, and its a shame that he died cuz he was the best part of season 4 😔 rip you beautiful bastard man i still miss you </3

Favorite moment

"It has blood on it" "thats Leitner's too :D". Also when martin was angry abt idk, breekon? Jon going into the coffin? Cant remember, but peter was like I said id protect the institute, that guys not my problem ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Idea for a story

dfgdfg i have..... a petermart story that dealt with the different flavor of loneliness they both had, half smut half genuine meta of both of them and theorization on the branching of an Entity & how their powers manifested in other people...

basically, peter thinks hes hot shit when it comes to loneliness but gets overwhelmed when martin accidentally projects his feelings abt *fic's plot stuff* on him, its fun stuff!

Unpopular opinion

people either paint him like an absolute devil or an incompetent idiot and hes neither of them! hes an asshole who loves being an asshole but far from the worst monster in the show and he tried to do a clever scheme TWICE on his life and 1. while it was established that any of the rituals wouldnt work singularly the Silence was still a pretty clever attempt if it weren't for gertrude! and 2. well... he tried to manipulate someone petty and formerly supposed to be a web avatar, again not his fault, cant call him stupid for trying dfgdfg

i Do think hes kinda pathetic in some sense considering his backstory, but more out of personal pity than anything else

Favorite relationship

Canonically speaking him and martin! The pull and push of them was The best thing about season 4! Peter being a quite dangerous avatar and martin, beautiful and scared and kinda feisty, confronting him every chance he gets, peter doing his best to manipulate him and martin letting him believe hes succeeding (even thought, he is, partly). They're fascinating characters to have side by side

Favorite headcanon

Partly canonically speaking him and mikaele salesa :) they do bets together! They're lonely sea men! What else could you possibly want?

Also non shippy i like thinking abt peter's and simon's relationship but thats entirely non canon ♡

Diversity wins! The heir of the lonely is a gay man!

Also I think as every rich household(?) the lukases had many paintings and peter as a kid saw the ones w/ sailing ships and imagined sailing far far away from his family. That and seaman aesthetic fucks, which is why he always has the same vibe going on as an adult. He does Not know half of the things he'd need to know to have a ship though but hey he's rich and thats all he needs

Annabelle

First impression

thats a horrible psychological experiment they're making there D:

Impression now

THATS STILL A HORRIBLE EXPERIMENT AND ANNABELLE DESERVED SO MUCH BETTER............. idk! she makes me sad in the same way jon (and to a degree, peter) does! to be a living puppet for the thing that traumatized you as a kid and that later kinda killed you / is the only thing keeping you alive, to be devoted to it scrambling to believe in a higher reason for all of it to happen bc to believe otherwise is............. anyway. i love her, and i feel so so sorry for her

Favorite moment

her "maybe ive never been to the beach" at the end of ehr statement (that i fully believe its bullshit but, yknow, i love that she adds that), most of her convos with martin, her "i told you this might happen" "you did, you did" with mikaele

Idea for a story

i think a lot about her having conversations w/ either mikaele (platonically) or sasha (shippy) and their different points of views and treat with her making her doubt the web a bit

Unpopular opinion

listen, listen, i know it sounds like im woobifying her i Know it but reading the scraps of her story how can i Not feel sorry for her? when the story framed her very similar to jon? the supernatural childhood encounter that gave them arachnophobia and the subsequential joining with an Entity against her will? the fact that both the story and the fans treat her like a spider woman always sat very very bad to me, and the fact that the story itself always framed her like a villain (considering All The Other Characters that get the benefit of the doubt) was extremely disappointing

Favorite relationship

her and mikaele!!!!!!! wish we could have seen more scenes of just the two of them!!!!!! *singing* he is her daaaaaad, hes her dad! boogie boogie boogie! (ok no but like... their offscreen friendship is my favorite thing of season 5 ;_;)

Favorite headcanon

Sigh i dont know...i still think she's scared of spiders which make her current existence harder but thats a sadcanon :/ umm...... i love the idea of mikaele and her cooking together from time to time! Mikaele showing her some plates he used to eat as a kid as he talks stories about his life :) and she listens and sometimes tells a story of her own! its been so long since he had a quasy normal conversation! its weird yet nice!

#i say the same phrase many times but basically best parts of s4 are hands down peter. lonely!mart. peter and martin. melanie's arc. thats it #best parts of s5 are jon killing the not!them. annabelle. mikaele. annabelle & mikaele. annabelle and martin. thats it #dhfjfj sorry half of these are a bummer but you asked me... characters i have a complicated relationship with... i love the three of them s #statement ends #THANKS i love... talking

3 notes · View notes

kinkymagnus · 4 years

Note

I love you (no Romo though) also do you have omega Magnus ideas

flkgjdgkdjfg mood anon

hm... ok this will probably be messy but let’s get on some highlights

OK THIS GOT SUPER LONG HAHAHA

set up and worldbuilding my guys

ok so first of all i feel like i gotta talk about how this interacts with trans magnus. i promise i’ll get to the fun stuff afterwards!!

i know some people like to go more into like, the realistic dynamics of a/b/o (trans a/b/o people, as in, a trans alpha who was born an omega, or like, sexism that has to do with a/b/o and those different new stereotypes, as well as like “non traditional a/b/o dynamics” like alpha/alpha or omega/omega relationships, how this interacts with new different sexualities (being attracted to only alpha females? alphas and betas and all primary genders? etc.) and how it intersects with REAL transphobia and sexism and sexuality) and like.... i have two takes on this i guess:

one: while this is not inherently wrong i guess, it’s just. not what i get from a/b/o. for me a/b/o isn’t a complex worldbuilding set to play with necessarily, although i def am one to ask questions and overthink worldbuilding even in the stupidest of shit. but like, i come to a/b/o for fluff (nesting, fluffy heat sex, maybe scenting and/or “mates” if i’m feeling it), smut (knotting, heats/ruts, etc.), and MAYBE angst but that gets into dodgy territory sometimes. (i’m a slut for arranged marriage aus tho ngl dfgkldjfdg.) like. that specific set of tropes is combined perfectly in a/b/o, and it’d be hard to do that in a coherent au as this is already established and saying “au where alec has knots and magnus has heats” is weird. the only other au that gets close is very specifically like a werewolf au which has its own trappings, you know? it’s a specific coherent and established au and it’s hard to separate the tropes i like from the other stuff.

two: again, i don’t think it’s inherently bad. but i do think that a lot of people who do this are basically just reinventing real issues like transphobia, homophobia/queerphobia, and sexism... without actually dealing with those things or the characters they would involve. and i think that it often strays into yikes territory. so like. i don’t love it. (also it does have some yikes stuff people do like going really, really hard on the oppressed omega angle, or worse, reinforcing the gender roles of omega = submissive soft weak baby, alpha = strong dominant and scary man. or sometimes they establish other roles but either way like, all their characters fall into that. and i think sometimes it kind of works for this feeling like a guilty pleasure trash romance novel where it’s just uncomplicated fantasy of being taken care of, but like.... even then it just gets dodgy, you know? also it does tend to get INCREDIBLY rapey.)

i often used a/b/o for the things i mentioned, and before i started writing trans magnus smut, also ironically as a way to sort of write trans magnus in smut without actually doing it out of fear of backlash/lack of popularity. and while backlash hasn’t been much of a problem, my popularity has definitely gone down fics-wise. (i get much less in the stats area on ao3 now)

and cis omega magnus is in a way basically trans magnus but he has a penis and there’s knotting. like i said, in many ways, a/b/o is sort of a way to write porn with trans characters while keeping to cisnormativity. i, as a trans person, took advantage of that to get more comfortable with writing it, but a lot of cis people use it basically to just. do that. you know.

so how do i reconcile this with trans magnus?

basically i say “fuck you, he’s trans AND an omega, i want heats/ruts and knotting and nesting and shit” and then ignore it lmao

like ok he isn’t cis. he’s afab and gnc and all the shit i normally write, it’s just like. he also gets heats and his ass doesn’t get wet dlfkjgdfg (god it sounds So Unappealing when you say it like that. now that i allow myself to write smut with real trans characters i could never go back to a/b/o--although, like. some a/b/o aus actually do have male omegas have a pussy but that feels even more slimy in the sense of just. make them trans.) and like alec’s an alpha and so on you know.

i basically just ignore all the complex worldbuilding shit and trying to figure out how sexuality and gender and the various -phobias and -isms would be effected by the addition of secondary genders and their trappings, and just go “fuck you” under the guise of an a/b/o au

tl;dr, so i have a lot of complicated feelings on a/b/o and how it generally is something i do not trust people to write properly. but i also am a total slut of a lot of tropes that are sort of entrenched in a/b/o specifically. namely, heats/ruts, knotting, nesting/scenting, etc.

let’s get into the fun stuff.

magnus and heats :)

ok so heats are super like. vulnerable, you know? i’d think magnus would take heat suppressants (ah another plot convenience in this au) because he doesn’t want to spend his heat with someone he doesn’t trust. that’s not to say he’s never had a heat with someone, or even that it’s been all bad experiences, but it never clicked super well i think and like, it’s something that’s very hard for him. because there’s a lot of vulnerability and trust involved, and he loses control and could so easily get hurt

also possibility: while he can take suppressants to lessen how many times he gets a heat, taking them consistently for literally centuries sounds like it could fuck someone up. so. perhaps. magnus occasionally spends his heat with a trusted friend like meliorn (not someone who feels like Family and therefore would it feel incesty, but def someone who is a close friend) and while he still doesn’t love the feeling of being that vulnerable, and it can be uncomfortable--it’s not like he’s looking forward to it--but like... he definitely does trust meliorn (and possibly other non canon characters?) and it’s not like it’s disgusting and miserable. it’s not like, The Same, but it satisfies the biological side of it and sometimes it’s even like. fun, you know? it’s nice.

ngl i actually kind of like the idea of meliorn helping him with these heats and being like a trusted alpha he knows would never hurt him like that. that does mess with any angst you want to go with him not trusting alphas or not like, having good experiences with heats/ruts (like in “stuck in a rut”), but like, different aus different stories, and anyway you could probably work something in there about meliorn specifically being different and someone he trusts

this is on and off, he sometimes does have heats with whatever romantic partner he’s with, although it... doesn’t always end well. so he has a lot of bad experiences, but at least with meliorn he has a good experience to look to, as well.

also camille was a TERRIBLE alpha. i can 100 percent see her using his heat against him to hurt him (and being like oh baby dont you trust me? you cant go to this seelie for your heats, you cant cheat on me, and why are you taking suppressants, dont you trust me--?) as well as potentially her ruts (actually a) im not sure i want to go into the logistics of a female alpha--would she... have a penis? because i’m not making camille a trans woman nor am i touching those transmisgyonistic vibes with a ten foot pole. b) actually, maybe she’s a beta. she could use that against him, as well--being like she doesn’t understand why it’s such a big deal, you know? also i refuse to believe only an alpha can satiate a heat even tho it would work the best because like--fuck i’m overthinking the worldbuilding again this is EXACTLY what i wanted to avoid. fuck, never mind.)

but like...........when he gets it (namely with alec, because yes, i am a slut) with like someone he honestly is a viable “mate” or someone he trusts and like, has actual romantic feelings for, too...............it’s literally mindblowing. magnus had no fucking idea heats could feel this good. obviously he had fun with meliorn and felt safe even if he felt kind of awkward/uncomfortable (not bc of anything meliorn did but his own issues with being vulnerable) but like............... alec just fucking makes him melt???

like he felt safe before, he did know meliorn would never ever hurt him or take advantage of his heat, but now he feels so like... free and safe and open? it’s not just the normal vulnerability that comes with but the complete lack of discomfort, just feeling absolutely safe and like. not worried at all? again i want to emphasize it’s not that he felt unsafe before or that meliorn necessarily did something wrong, but bc of his own like. readiness to be vulnerable + while he does trust meliorn, it’s like. it hits different with a romantic partner (in this specific context!! this is not a romantic > platonic thing), if that makes sense.

an y wa y THE POINT IS. magnus is like. Mind Blown. having sex with alec during his heat is like. amazing. alec is so intent on taking care of him and just worshiping his body (alec!! ravishing him!! pressing warm kisses all over his tits!!! big hands all over his body!! caressing him everywhere and giving him physical affection all over and just making him squirm and moan!!!!!!) and like. not only is he absolutely intent on taking care of magnus and making him feel good and making sure he’s comfortable, but like also it’s just??? really fun?? and alec gives him so much affection and so many kisses???

magnus is not the best conversation partner during heat because he is a little. busy. but it doesn’t stop alec from talking to him and helping him stay grounded and just like... treating him like a person? he hadn’t realized one of the reasons he was so comfortable with meliorn and now alec wasn’t just bc he knew them well and trusted them with this kind of thing, but because like. they treated him like he was present despite him being mostly non-verbal and incoherent beyond vague pleading. like, they always made sure he was comfortable and talked to him and didn’t just do what they wanted with him. it didn’t feel like he was a doll--getting satisfied and fucked hard, yes, but like. also sort of just being used. and not in the fun sexy pre-planned way, but like, in a way that just made him feel more distant and disconnected.

but alec very much doesn’t do that. he keeps talking (and there is a lot of praise! so much praise and gentle affection and teliing him how beautiful he is and how good he’s doing--and of course dirty talk wink wink) and even narrating what he’s doing/his intentions, you know, and not only his voice generally soothing but it’s just nice you know

and like again i would just like to go back to alec ravishing magnus’s tiddies with kisses and holding them in his Big Hands and massaging them and like kissing his nipples and just making him feel so good??? iconic. we stan.

and alec like. is the perfect mix of gentle and rough, you know? he knows when to pin magnus down and fuck him nice and hard and rough and get him squealing and begging, but he also knows when to be gentle--particularly at the beginning and when he’s coming down. not to mention even when he is fucking magnus hard there’s a lot of gentle touch accompanying it

also not to just be a slut but

Also It Feels Good Because Alec Has a Huge Cock

that’s not to say meliorn doesn’t or even that you need a big dick to pleasure someone well but like.

alec has a big cock.

and it feels. hhhhh. good

magnus when alec first slides into him in heat: [straight up just immediately goes incoherent and whining with pleasure and kinda just mewling and clawing weakly at his back or the sheets on either side of him]

and alec fucks him so well :) like they’re honestly both feeling so fucking good like just AAAAAAAAA im such a slut for alec taking care of magnus in heat

also. uhh. K N O T T I N G

alec sliding into him nice and slow to make sure hes ok and like hes loving it, alec fucks him, and when he’s about to knot him magnus is somewhere in the back of his mind expecting that usual queasy sort of anticipation like he does Want It but usually he does kind of feel a little discomfort and again just... apprehension. this is The Moment, and he’s really giving up control you know

but it. doesnt come (but magnus is about to AHAHA)

and he just wants.

like he honestly just really really wants this and it’s kind of a revelation how much he genuinely wants this

alec knots him and magnus is Losing His Mind it feels so fucking good he comes almost right away and he’s just right there again

hes so Full and everything about it feels amazing

and like after alec has like. made him come a dozen times squirting and came inside magnus’s cunt and kept him knotted full there’s just this moment where magnus is exhausted in the best way, lying on his back, legs spread, alec still knotted inside him, his cunt is full of cum and he’s panting and moaning a little and alec is just on top of him and it’s warm and amazing and he’s coming down from the high and he just feels.... incredibly relaxed actually

like he’s like wow have i ever been this melty and relaxed and floaty, like, ever?

the answer is no, not really.

alec is just gently stroking his hair, pressing soft close-mouthed kisses to his skin, and they just sort of cuddle for a bit while waiting for magnus to come down completely from his heat and for alec’s knot to go down and honestly just lying there entwined is really, really nice.

magnus is full and relaxed and he genuinely loves this feeling in a way he’s never experienced before

even when alec pulls out and magnus is pretty much back to himself completely again magnus is so exhausted he just sort of lies back and lets himself breathe and alec is like Pamper Mode Activate(TM) and magnus tries to be like its ok to relax i do like cuddling with you and i can clean up myself its ok and alecs like But I Want To Take Care Of You and like helps clean him up (just... magnus lets himself relax as alec gently uses a damp cloth to wipe away cum and slick you know? idk there’s just something intimate and sweet about the dom helping clean their sub up in the aftercare) and gets him water and a snack and then once they’re both tidied up pulls him into his arms and he strokes his hair and they just cuddle and it’s great :)

i wonder if magnus talks to meliorn about this either. hm

and from then on, alec is the one he goes to for heats. and alec, of course, becomes immortal, which means he can take care of magnus for the rest of their lives :’))

whether magnus would stay on suppressants is another matter because on one hand heats can be inconvenient and like he might still want to minimize them, but on the other hand Hnnnnnnggg Alec Feel Good. so i could see them going either way here.

also i mean................that’s not to say that meliorn would Never help magnus either..... two possibilities here: 1. for whatever reason magnus’s heat is coming and alec can’t be there. meliorn is happy to help. it’s good to have back up i guess lkjfgh fuck idk. but the real fun one....

2. as magnus has more heats, they may or may not have a little Fun with it. perhaps roleplay (whether this be like “oh..... oh no..... im a poor little maid and i’ve gone into heat.....Looks Like My Boss Will Have To Fuck Me” or like even pretending the heat isn’t part of it and he’s Just That Slutty and we love to see it, etc. obviously they alec is sure not to push it too far, he teases magnus but probably a lot less than he normally would bc he’s so sensitive and needy and eager-to-please, but like.... they sure do have some fucking fun with this.

and also. i mean.

threesomes. y’all knew i was going here.

look idk how i got so far on the magnus/meliorn (as close friends and fuckbuddies not romantically) train but HERE WE ARE.

magnus getting absolutely wrecked by two alphas and LOVING it is not something he ever thought would happen, particularly while he was in heat, but it’s happening and he absolutely loves it.

also there are other fun possible scenarios like in “goldenrod” where alec doesn’t know that magnus is an omega and Shenanigans Ensue or whatever like just....both fluffy and angsty possibilities.

i’m a total slut for friends to lovers “oh no magnus is in heat :( but alec can help him through it, gently and lovingly, just completely as a friend :)” which can get into dubcon territory but if you fuck with it it’s doable. and i’m just a slut for pining pre-relationship heat sex.

even like in an au, alec playing the role meliorn did in the previous bullet points but blended with how i discussed their first heat together so like... helping his best friend through his heats, showing him a really good time, making sure he’s comfortable and magnus is just like wow i’ve never felt this good and safe during a heat before :) guess it’s because we’re friends and definitely no other reasons :)

i’m not sure how to word this right but i feel like there’s a potential angst here of like a mundane au of some sort wherein magnus has only had a few relationships with alphas and none of them great so when alec is helping him through his heat he assumes it’s different (as in, alec is so gentle and caring and treating him like this, and he feels safe) because they’re friends and it’s a different dynamic, and that being treated Badly is just like, the normal way alphas treat their mates. or something. look. let me have my whump ok

but the point is alec sets him straight obviously

but like anyway i just like.........i adore friends to lovers malec and heat sex it’s got so much fluffy potential with magnus just feeling Utterly Safe (and pining angst) and alec is both a) incredibly turned on/helplessly in love with him so he’s loving every second (even tho Pining Angst) and b) just in awe that magnus trusts him that much??? (also sad he’s SURPRISED at being treated gently flgkhfjghgh)

malec and ruts

ok as i explored in “stuck in a rut” i think it makes sense that magnus would not feel incredibly secure during ruts. it’s not something he would have sought out with say, meliorn, although he would have been willing to do that meliorn has other partners more than willing to help him with that and actually love it while magnus is. very wary of it.

like a heat, it leaves him feeling very out of control and it seems kind of scary--but it’s almost worst, because rather than feeling needy and helpless (which is a good thing when with a trusted partner but not so much when he’s less sure, or when they take advantage of that) it’s like. he’s cornered totally sober with a similarly out of control alpha, except with more Dominance(TM) and potential aggression you know?

so maybe he’s had some very bad experiences before. and i doubt it’s been literally all terrible, but i think he would likely avoid relationships with alphas, so he wouldn’t have a lot of experiences to draw from overall anyway

but like okay let’s get to the fun stuff

i’ve been over the angst of magnus not being sure how this is gonna go but wanting to Tough It Out with “stuck in a rut” although it’s probably a bit exaggerated for fun angst purposes but idk aaaaa

but anyway the point is here. alec gets his first rut with magnus and like, he probably hasn’t been with anyone during a rut (suppressants?) so this is wild for both of them

but even Feral(TM) alec’s entire goal is just taking care of magnus

i mean obviously there’s an element of like wanting to get his own satisfaction and all but it’s just like..... mutual pleasure you know??? like he wants to fuck magnus nice and hard and make him feel good and magnus is just a mewling mess in his arms letting alec take control and ravish him and they are both having a great time actually

but like ok let’s just. move away for a moment from angst

just................... alec fucking magnus nice and hard and rough, pinning him down and “”making“” him take it, and there isn’t really much teasing because he’s too busy wanting to fuck magnus and fill him up :)

but like it’s also fluffy bc even all needy and desperate alec still takes the time to make sure he’s ready and prepared and wet and into this before fucking him, makes sure he’s comfortable and checks in on him and if magnus safeworded or told him to stop you know he absolutely would, without hesitation, even if it literally hurt to do. which is basic decency obviously but the like.... the just trust and care there? the fact that even in a literal fucking rut when he’s supposed to be out of control he’d force himself to stop if magnus needed or wanted him to is just.... comforting and good and i love it

and magnus is like hm i have never felt this safe when with an alpha in rut before! time to examine this trauma later.

nesting (ft. scenting)

AAAAAAAAAAAA

i love the concept of nesting so much it’s so fluffy and sweet and dkgjfklgjg

you build a pillow/blanket/clothing nest that smells like the people u love and u feel safe in

and then you get ravished in it sometimes

iconic.

like magnus just piling a fuck ton of soft things (ranging from blankets/pillows to just like spare sheets and shit like that) and stealing alec’s clothes to put in there and curling up in the middle of it feeling safe and in heaven tbh

especially once they key component of the nest arrives: alec

*magnus yoinking alec into the nest and immediately curling up against him like a particularly insistent cat*

alec is just like This Is Precious and wraps his arms around him and strokes his hair and magnus is purring (purring!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! we Will discuss this later)

and it’s just nice and somft??

fluffy cuddles?

i feel like nesting would be a particular urge either during or near heats so im just imagining pre heat magnus being like *suddenly stands up* I Must Gather Soft Things (Meaning Pillows, Blankets, And Alec)

and he just makes a nest, all aesthetically pleasing and arranged nicely, maybe a candle nearby with a nice scent that kind of helps, and just..... curling up in alecs arms all content

and alec ADORES this like the first several times magnus was scared of coming off as clingy so he suppressed nesting instincts let alone cuddly needy clingy instincts but alec was sort of like hey baby it’s ok if you just don’t want to but do u need to nest?

and also he just made a point of being more touchy/affectionate when his heat was coming up/dying down and he watched carefully to make sure it didn’t magnus uncomfortable but he melted into it even more than usual

so like just....alec cuddling the fuck out of magnus in his nest and it’s warm and safe and smells like home????

scenting i feel is kind of weird and i feel weird being like “mm he smells good” or whatever but like also it can be so cute when done right you know lkgjdgfg like omg just...... Alec Smells Like Home

their scents kinda mix and both of them have the others’ lingering on them and people can tell they’re super close

and just.....................again..........alec like scenting him, marking him as his in a sort of gentle soft way? and like, burying his nose in his neck and nuzzling him and he smells so nice and good???

especially if you’re going with true mates think their mates’ scent is just the best thing ever flgjlkjlfkgjfgh

but anyway ok

back to nesting

and specifically, because i am a whore, to S E X

magnus feeling absolutely safe there and it smells like home and alec’s holding him and it’s so--

hey so i know i said i was going to do sex,

but hold on a sec

ANGST

magnus has nested before. but generally not with romantic partners.

not sure if familal nesting is a thing--i feel like it’s possible, but given a general association with heat (i mean one could either feel the urge to or simply enjoy nesting outside of Heat Time(TM) but like) it feels a little weird

so let’s go with it’s more romantic except for maybe like really young kids or something idk

but anyway moving on from that

magnus has nested before

but almost always alone

and an empty nest is just not the same?? it’s still warm/safe but like... it feels empty and sad too. especially if he DOES have a romantic partner they just don’t want to nest with him--saying he’s clingy, or it’s time consuming/boring to just sit there, or whatever else.

camille was particularly guilty of this, he had to basically hide his nest and cram it in a closet or something (the enclosed space was actually kind of nice but it was too cramped for his liking and it felt even more empty and sad than usual)

and then he would just be there alone in his small empty nest and it was still reassuring but it was just......not the same

also he didn’t have anything to ground him so he got all fidgety (adhd magnus? adhd magnus.) and like it was a lot less comforting than normal you know

but with alec OH BOY

not only does he feel all warm and grounded in alec’s arms like he can relax and doze off and feel good and alec is stroking his hair and it’s just. nice

but like also

BACK TO SEX

alec making sweet love to magnus in their nest and it’s just like wow this is the most safe place possible

it’s not even heat sex they’re just having fun and magnus is like this is my dream come true

and then obviously there is also heat sex

it is the most mindblowing thing either of them have ever experienced

also i feel like while it’s not an instinct thing to build nests for ruts, they still do it because they’re soft and it helps them relax anyway

PURRING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PURRING

ok i absolutely love the a/b/o headcanon i’ve seen before where like, omegas purr only when feeling completely safe? particularly around alphas?

so like.

magnus doesn’t purr that often.

or he didn’t but then he fell in love with alec “his arms feel like home and safety and love” lightwood

it is not uncommon to see him cuddled in alec’s arms purring contently

or like in his nest leaning into alec’s side or head resting on his chest, PURRING

also i have this fic somewhere but au wherein alec doesn’t know magnus is an omega yet and then finds out because magnus dozed off on his chest and BEGAN. PURRING. BECAUSE HE FEELS SO FUCKING SAFE AND TRUSTS ALEC SO MUCH.

even if he hadn’t told alec about being an omega yet for whatever reason

anyway just alec stroking magnus’s hair while he purrs away and its adorable and also soothing for both of them so they fall asleep like that

magnus’s purring is like a soothing thing for alec big time its good sensory time and also just generally nice so its easy for him to conk out with magnus warm in his arms and purring loudly

it’s very nice

and also he loves that magnus feels that safe with him

MATES

this one will be short but like

basically the whole mates for life thing is cute

and it can just kinda be like soulmate aus

which are all vaguely problematic but just really cute/fun to have and not think about too hard

so them being mates is just cute idk man i like it

ok that’s it for now (i’m gonna add more in a separate reblog for reasons but that’s only on one topic, you’ll see--i think i’ll do that tomorrow bc im very tired rn) that’s the omega magnus manifesto (some parts not included)

#trans magnus smut #omega magnus #long post #malec #alec lightwood #magnus bane #shadowhunters

11 notes · View notes

trashbinbackyard · 3 years

Note

any armed asshats one and docs

I’m going with helvi and kai bc i cant stop myself now this train is on one way track

What was their first impression of each other?

Kai was Helvi’s friend’s cute older brother. Kai knew Helvi was good friends with Kat but he had his own friends so he didnt pay that much attention to her when they were younger

Enrique knew Juno was feisty and very smart and professional. Juno probably had some doubts about him herself because he never really hid his past

What is their ship name?

Oh no my sister/friend disappeared and doesn’t want to be found, what do

Docs

Describe their relationship dynamic.

Kai is a very talented hunter, Helvi is a shaman, she always blesses his hunts and safe return. They also still lowkey look for Kat even though they know if she wanted to be found she’d show herself

Two highly intelligent people toss their brains out every now and then to be snarky and loving to each other

What was their relationship like before they got together?

Kai is few years older than Helvi, Helvi being few years older than Kat. They got along when they were kids and even in their teens weren’t that interested in the other. When Kat took off, Kai hasn’t seen her since, Helvi did see her when she brought Sacran to be healed but then disappeared again. Now they’re very worried about Kat Together

Professional, they were coworkers and Enrique knew Juno was engaged and he respected that

How would they describe each other?

Helvi is sweet and free-spirited, cares a ton, great singing voice too. Kai is strong and reliable, quiet but very empathetic, leader type, if things get dicey

Juno is simply amazing. She’s smart, temperamental, sassy, determined, beautiful, he could go on and on. To her he’d be respectful, rowdy but in the good way, not too much trouble, attentive, intelligent, fun, not a bad looker either

What do they love about each other?

man sometimes these questions, do i just interpret these wrong lol. For both of them what i just said ^

What do they have in common?

They’re both from the same village, are well known and loved and respected by its people. Both are very close to nature, both love taking care of people in their own ways

Both are smart and reliable, they have similar sense of humor and both can get pretty sassy, they like taking care of themselves and having fun when work allows them to

What are some differences between them?

Helvi is very nurturing and people person, Kai is more aloof

Juno is very serious at work, Enrique sometimes takes the piss on his patients but all in good humor. Also he used to be sketchy and Juno is prim and proper doctor

What made them realize they were in love?

When they first started looking for Kat, they didnt say it but they both felt it “I dont want to loose you too”

When Juno had her engagement annulled and Enrique was shoulder to cry on, they’ve been good buddies for a while and they worked together so well

What are their love languages?

Acts, Helvi makes sure Kai is extra blessed before venturing out to the forest. Kai brings her bones and trinkets she might need, he also cuts her the best pieces of meat from his catch

Touch and words pretty equally, they’re kind of horndogs both of them, but cuddling and just standing right next to each other is sooo good. Words but not your usual petname shit, in that house they make open mockery of both of them in very endearing way

Do they get married? Who proposes and how?

In the future, maybe, Kai probably because his dad wanted him to, he really needed that nudge (Kory the dad, the chief the wingman)

They do get married, but i can’t remember if who proposes has been established (i searched thru out blogs and cant find anything), I’d wage Juno because Enrique knew she had been engaged before and it went Bad, so he wouldn’t want to push it

What would happen if they never met?

Helvi would still be a shaman, in a nother village if she wasn’t born in the same one as Kai, she would probably find herself a cute gf or bf to love. Kai would still be a hunter, though his love life would a be drifting tumbleweed

Juno would still be a doctor, just going through her breakup less elegantly. Enrique would still stop being a pirate and find a clinic to take him in, if not that one in the citadel then maybe on outer rim

Are there any love rivals?

Kai honestly was that typical “cool older guy with tons of potential love interests” trope type but he had his friends and the rest of the orbiters he was too shy to get to know, Helvi was safe enough. I bet there are still some lads and lasses who’ve had their eyes on Kai

Well at first Ross, but Enrique knew his place and he didn’t really Try to get Juno, it happened organically i swear

Describe your favorite moment of that ship!

Too new to have Moments yet

Anything to do with Bob tbh, their angel and demon halloween part where they end up switching costumes by the end of the night was fun too lmao

What do other characters think about this relationship?

They think they’re sweet together. Also Kory wants to retire as a chief and maybe Kai getting a wife would give him a confidence boost to take up the keys

Most of the time the clinic approves, no one was a big fan of Ross. But sometimes,,, oh dear, not again in the supply closet

Describe or write a really angsty scene!

When Kai finds out Helvi has seen Kat since she disappeared. He’s upset she didn’t follow her or talk to her more but Helvi tries to convince Kai that she is doing ok

Enrique confesses he did consider suicide way back when his old crew died and his illness began to act up more

Talk about a headcanon you’ve never talked about before.

Literally anything at this point lool. Helvi is trans, that’s right, siblings Kat and Kai said trans rights

Enrique probably has given a pocket knife for Juno for good safety measure, also showed how to use it, just in case, you are small and divine, please be safe

What does a typical date look like for them?

Going out to the forest, Kai helps Helvi collect herbs, sit down and eat some berries and talk about animals and plants

Out for couple drinks, dancing, having fun, dinner, long walk

What’s a really significant moment in their relationship?

Eventually when they (maybe) get married

Them getting together after crushing on each other for a while

#the priests in ivira's temple provide 'fuck this gender i want to be something else' potions #cant you tell i cant fucking stop myself #not that much story for kai and helvi like the pirate trio but im getting somewhere #and listening to heilung #armed asshats #space shitstorm #the docs are fun and rowdy but also reliable and professional #juno has timer but enrique has a metronome

4 notes · View notes

normal-thoughts-official · 5 years

Note

HEY SO u didn’t wanna go on a trans!magnus tangent in ur sexuality post but *I* want you to go on a trans!magnus tangent! Tell me more about him coming to terms w/ his identity & how it’s influenced his life and all that. Essentially just give me all the trans!magnus content in ur brain. Love u ❤️❤️❤️ ~cursedlightwood

here’s my hot take: magnus’ gender is Tired. and yes, i will elaborate, because Ive spent the last 2-3 weeks doing research for this ask, so this is probably the most well-informed theory you’ll see on this subject. yeah, we’re doomed

EDIT: i was gonna say this from the get-go but i forgot, so: english is not my first language and i’m unsure about the usage of some terms that i found during research, particularly those referring to traditional javanese religions and customs; so, if you spot anything that is problematic, racist or colonialist please let me know and i’ll change it.

ok, so i want to start this off by saying that, although javanese society had a binary gender system, they had pretty egalitarian views on gender, and from what i’ve seen the division of labor wasn’t really set in stone - although they were less common than male ones, there were female warriors, for instance. both men and women could be the sovereign and were equally respected, both could ask for a divorce, etc. the most important part of their gender views, to me, seems to be that they believed women were better for diplomatic roles and trading, because they believed men were too emotional and not as good as debating and making compromises as women were (same source)

so i’m just gonna say this, here and now: AFAB!Magnus makes a lot of sense because Magnus is the most diplomatic person you’ll ever fucking see, and in this context, if he were AFAB, he would have been socialized to be for a very young age. and i dont mean hes diplomatic just on the sense that he’s literally keeping most of the characters together and preventing fights (remember when he had to stop a Raphael VS Simon catfight? ugh), but also in the sense that out of everyone hes the one who best handles the seelie queen, for example. he’s good at Wit Battles, negotiating, building bridges and dealing with power relations when its needed.

and i mean, this would also be a pretty good start on why he’d be like “no thanks” when it comes to this whole Womanhood thing, because yeah, Magnus is good at that, he has to be, but does he like it? to me it’s pretty clear that he doesn’t, that he’s absolutely uninterested in anything involving power and negotiations and this whole ridiculous dance it involves. also he’s constantly giving himself the short end of the stick so y’know. honestly, at heart, magnus is an inventor, an explorer; he likes to create things, he likes to learn, he likes to explore the world around him, meet people, help them, build relationships - but on equal grounds, not this whole give-some-take-some thing diplomacy entails. and as a Woman™ in pre-colonial java society, it’s pretty much that, be a farmer, or a concubine - we’re gonna get to that a little bit later on.

so i think in this context little magnus would be like “no thanks” and wanting to go around and, i don’t know, look at plants and learn their properties and figure out why apples fall, or something. it’s not exactly a Man’s Role™ either, although to be fair i found it a little hard to figure out what exactly were men’s roles in javanese society because gender studies usually just focus on women and treat men as the standard and don’t really explore how manhood is construed. but anyway. i know that they were warriors more frequently than women (same source), but women could be warriors as well. like i said, gender roles in javanese society weren’t really set in stone. [alec voice] they’re not rules, they’re suggestions.

add to that the fact that magnus lived in a port city - he had to, since in the early 1600s the dutch were only settling in important ports and trading centers - and the ports in java were very important trading centers that had been attracting people from all over Asia and Europe for centuries, and had a quite good share of migrants and immigrants living there, including quite a good share of Buginese, aka the people who had a 5-gender division. jakarta, which is in java, has like the 10th biggest buginese population in the world, not to mention the countless other societies that had their own views on gender relations; and you have a pretty good and accepting environment when it comes to differences. the javanese were flexible, they were well aware that culture isn’t set in stone, and they were very prone to syncretism. the kingdom allowed people to have any religion they wanted, even if its “official” religion at the time was buddhism. so really: the javanese were actually not very into the whole “imposing cultural constructs” thing, especially the coastal javanese. so magnus would have likely had the freedom to explore and to not really want to conform to any gender stereotypes without that being a HUGE deal, in my opinion.

and then there’s the fact that the concept of womanhood was a pretty disputed one at the time; yes, the javanese had their own views, but it’s important to note that by the 1600s most of the coastal javanese population had converted to Islam, which led to a few differences as well; when compared to other southeast asian communities, for example, the rate of women in trade was a little different - while it was a steady 50% in almost all countries and cultures, in indonesia it was around 30%, because muslim communities had more of a “women stay at home” view. however, when compared to other asian societies such as the chinese society, where the rate was of 1-5%, you can see that the javanese’s egalitarian views on gender stood a fair amount of ground. also, in indonesia, precisely due to their more open views, Islam mostly syncretised with local religions and customs, including the gender views; in Bugis, for instance, the 5-gender system was kept, as were traditional customs such as “ritual transvestism” and homosexuality. so, yes, it was disputed, and people had many views on what people could or couldn’t do, but that mostly ended up becoming a kind of “live and let live” thing. which is the perfect environment for 1- AFAB!Magnus be Very Tired of this whole womanhood thing that no one can even decide what it is anyway; 2- Magnus to say “fuck this” and live as a masc-leaning genderless entity that just wanted to make some goddamn potions.

but then there’s the colonial relations, right? how do the dutch come into this already very complicated and delicately balanced equation? that was honestly the main point of my research, trying to figure out just how much influence the dutch had at such an early stage of colonisation, and also what it would be like to live in a mixed-culture household such as magnus’. here’s what i have:

during the first century of dutch colonisation (aka the part we’re talking about) the dutch and the europeans didn’t really have a big influence in javanese cultural and political relations. the javanese were pretty well organised and had a powerful and strong society so the europeans didn’t really manage to invade them successfully - even the portuguese, the most powerful european nation at the time, tried and failed to invade them for the whole 16th century (get rekt lmao). so what the dutch did was, they simply established themselves as one of the many companies that settled in jakarta to trade, and slowly built their power and influence from there. don’t get me wrong, the dutch were very violent colonisers and in other parts of indonesia they were doing the european thing of mass genocide as much as any other country. they weren’t a “softer” version of colonisers, they just didn’t have the power to subjugate the javanese, so they had to try a slower approach. during the early 1600s, the only dutch people in java were the VOC workers (VOC is the dutch east india company - the acronym is in dutch. basically the company that was there to get some nice spices to sell to the rest of europe so they could shove it all up their assholes or smth since up to this day their food is bland as shit), and they weren’t permanent settlers; they could only stay in java for the duration of their contract with the VOC and they couldn’t bring their wives and children with them, and they couldn’t bring any wives or mixed children they had while in java back to europe, either (same source).

this weird relationship meant that magnus’ “stepfather” and his mother probably had a relationship of concubinage (told you we’d get back to that), which was not uncommon in java neither before nor after the arrival of the dutch. in short, his mother was supposed to take care of his house, make him food and all that jazz, and also have a sexual relationship with him, in exchange for money (same source). it was not prostitution and it worked pretty much as a marriage, except it was temporary and contractual. BUT it meant that magnus’ mother would have to have converted to christianism (same source) and due to the fact that she was in a temporary contract, she couldn’t divorce him, and in their home he would treat her as, well, europeans treated their wives - with the particular western brand of sexism that they so kindly forced unto the rest of us. so that makes the whole thing even more disputed and complicated.

but as a VOC worker, magnus’ stepfather wouldn’t even be home for most of the day, and he couldn’t really keep magnus or his mom from, like, leaving the house and doing their things. i think he wouldn’t even try because that would prolly be very looked down upon in java; spousal abuse in southeast asia as a whole was pretty rare, since anyone could divorce whenever they wanted and women were politically and financially independent, so i think if he tried to pull something like that he would be in trouble - again, the dutch were the minority, and for the most part, they lived as the javanese did, in their villages, in their homes, eating their food and mostly adapting to their customs (same source). they even mostly spoke indonesian in their homes, since most indonesians didn’t speak dutch, and indonesia was kind of the universal language at the time, since there were many languages spoken both in and outside of java (this also explains why magnus speaks indonesian instead of javanese; that would have been the language spoken at his home. you have no idea how relieved having an explanation for this makes me). also there’s the pressing question of, would he even give a shit what magnus does or doesn’t do? magnus wasn’t his biological son, and most of these guys didn’t care about any biological children they might have had with these women, since they were women of color and they would leave them eventually anyway. honestly this is all the more reason for him to treat magnus like shit - he was javanese, he was brown, and he wasn’t even related to him by blood. this was also probably grounds for him to treat magnus’ mom even worse, since in his christian eyes the fact that she had a child outside of marriage made her even lesser than other indonesians.

so honestly, what i’m picturing is something like - most of the time it was pretty okay, there were certain expectations and a certain kind of female socialization but it was okay that he didn’t really fit in there, and then with his stepfather the whole thing was just shit.

also, the fact that his mom was probably a concubine means there was a fair chance that his stepfather would have other concubines, and listen, yes i may be flexing, but you can’t stop me from imagining that maybe magnus was raised in a multicultural home with lots of other southeast asian women and children and maybe even buginese because again you can’t fucking STOP ME.

but either way, even if his home wasn’t like that, his city was - we don’t know which city he lived in, but it doesn’t matter, really; all cities with dutch settlers were port cities and therefore followed pretty much the same pattern of being a cultural tapestry with all sorts of influences coexisting in peace.

so really, little magnus lived in a pretty rich environment when it came to exploring his identity. he and his mom lived in a pretty egalitarian society gender-wise, he had the space and the opportunity to explore the world and figure out what he liked and didn’t like. am i going crazy imagining a tiny magnus with his mom, running around in other farms and listening, enraptured, stories of people from all over the world, about their cultures and lives, and learning there is so much to see and wanting to just go wherever he could, getting himself a passion for travelling that would later fuel his want to invent a quick way to go anywhere he wanted to, going to the port and seeing all the stuff they had available, from plants with healing properties to spices, and just loving to figure out their properties and how they could be mixed together to create new things, loving this world full of wonder and possibilities? maybe. god.

but anyway, what i’m trying to get at here is that it’s really impossible to think of a cis magnus in this context, no matter if you think AMAB or AFAB trans magnus - i know ive been focused on AFAB magnus here but really that’s mostly because 1- Projection; 2- thinking about AFAB magnus brings in new layers of complexity that need further exploration in my opinion; but really this applies to any magnus. what would being “cis” even mean, in a context where the very concepts of manhood and womanhood were so disputed and complex? and that’s not even going into the fact that after so many centuries, complying to gender roles of that time looked nothing like complying to our modern gender roles. really, it’s a lost cause. magnus kind of has a culturally-specific gender that…. no one but other warlocks born in similar situations could, really? there’s no word for it. there’s no explaining it with words. it is [REDACTED GOOD OMENS REFERENCE]

the closest we have is masc-leaning enby, since somewhere along the way he seems to have decided to use male pronouns and have a mostly masc-presenting body, even if paired with a more fem-presenting appearance fashion and mannerisms-wise. but again it’s too unique, there are way too many influences here.

and honestly that’s kind of beautiful! i love imagining small magnus having contact with people with all kinds of views on gender and society throughout his childhood, exploring, trying on their clothes, learning about their religions and customs, having elderly friends from different backgrounds and also young friends who were raised in very different ways, and sharing all of that, and learning about who he is amidst all of that, and being able to explore that and talk about that to his mom and friends and close people because they are used to these differences. even if when at home he was probably met with some kind of transphobic rhetoric and violence because of his stepfather and the imposed christianity that came with it - and that unlike other religions, didn’t syncretize at all.

which brings us to a second, very important point on the whole trans magnus ordeal, which is how deeply tied to racism the transphobia he’s suffered and the general understanding of his gender was. of course, this applies to every single of-color and non-western born person, but magnus has lived that through history. from a very young age, the blunt of the violence he was met with came from a racist standpoint that believed his very identity and existence made him lesser and in need to be corrected - because that’s what, after all, the colonizers were doing. their whole rhetoric was that the colonized were barbaric and needed them to learn the right ways through violence. it is worth noticing that the javanese have been referred to as “the most inhuman of all people” by dutch colonizers, and amongst the reasons for that was the fact that their views on gender were so different from the european’s (same source).

so really we’re mixing in the fact that he was a “bastard” child in his stepfather’s eyes, a warlock, and trans… and yeah, oof. there’s no way he was treated with anything other than violence from way before his mom’s suicide and the subsequent drowning attempt. in his stepfather’s eyes, everything about magnus’ existence was demonic, impure, and all the more reason why he and his mom were dirty and needed to be corrected.

it’s also worth noting that sorcery was a very big part of javanese culture that was also syncretized with pretty much every religion. the javanese believed in sorcery, believed everyone could do magic, and the dutch, of course, despised that. the source above is a pretty interesting article that argues that the european’s so-called “skepticism” on magic and “rational-based” culture was actually part of a construction of whiteness that hoped precisely to differentiate them from the “savage” others. i mean, the guys were burning women at the stake because they were “witches”, but every other culture’s religions, rituals and magic were just bullshit and couldn’t be trusted because the europeans were too rational and knew better? okay buddy. it also features an amazing story about a dutch colonizer who got hexxed because of his racism that is, quite frankly, heartwarming. but i digress.

so yeah listen i know i already talked about this on the other ask but there’s really no way the reason his mother killed herself was because she found out magnus was a warlock or a demon’s son or whatever. magic was part of their culture. it was what they believed in. it was a part of nature to them. it’s way more likely that the reason she killed herself was the constant violence she was met with in daily life that she couldn’t get away from, and his stepfather simply blamed magnus because, to him, he represented everything that was wrong with their culture - and that makes even more sense if we think about trans!magnus, because that makes him an even deeper abomination. it’s very likely that most of the violence and belittling his mother had to face was related to magnus as well - look what you created, what you do, your culture is an abomination, this is unacceptable. but magnus was way too small at that time, and he believed what his stepfather told him, because i mean, what else would he believe in?

i also think that asmodeus kind of messed with his perception of how the whole thing went down, telling him that he “murdered” him when really it was clearly self defense, erasing the violence his stepfather directed towards magnus and focusing on the end to convince magnus that he was evil, unredeemable, that no one would accept him but asmodeus, that he had no other choice. so that’s super fun! but yeah i do believe that asmodeus spent enough time gaslighting magnus and rewriting this whole story for this to be considered magnus’ worst memory, seen by him as a reminder of his “ugly side” that doesn’t really even exist. asmodeus weaponized this, which served the double purpose of convincing magnus he had no choice but to follow asmodeus, and teaching him that violence is normal and there’s nothing wrong with it, and that retaliating makes him bad.

this is all i have to say about the asmodeus years, really, because like i said before i don’t think he gives a shit about gender, he’s way older than it and who cares. but the trauma that the whole thing put magnus through is easily weaponizable. @thesorrowoflizards also wrote this amazing fic that features the headcanon that asmodeus used magnus’ transness to manipulate him as well, using spells that made him more masculine and stuff but only if magnus obeyed him. fun! especially considering that he was with asmodeus through his puberty (or at least that’s likely) when his body would have begun to change, so for him to have such a masc-presenting body…. yeah. this is very plausible. i love pain.

and then we get to england, where again, everyone is an asshole, about everything, all the time. like holy shit, he thought the europeans cared too much when he was in java, but that is nothing compared to the brits and their casual sentencing people to death for being gender non conforming. also, to the europeans, asian men were seen as emasculate and their gender relations as a whole was unnatural, and listen, i know that in 18th-19th century england men also wore makeup and stuff, but i mean, magnus was probably seen as exotic in his “effeminate” mannerisms and non-compliance to gender roles, even if people didn’t know he was AFAB or just trans in general. he was probably objectified in that sense, kinda like a human-zoo sorta thing. fascinating, these emasculated asians with weird bodies and customs. ugh.

so yeah gender got particularly exhausting at that time, too. thankfully there were the warlocks, who were old enough to know all of this was bullshit and who had people from all kinds of cultural backgrounds, thousands of people with culturally-specific genders, as well as other people who were raised in similar environments as him. so in there he finds a home of sorts, a place where this doesn’t matter and where he can be himself and nobody cares, and also has access to different cultures and views and knowledge, and really it’s like the good parts of his childhood again. he learns more about magic and potion-making, about other cultures and places, travels the world, learns about science and the workings behind his magic. creates new potions, new spells, continues his education, learns and remembers how much he loves this, the cultural effervency, the chances to learn and explore and create. really the warlock community is so amazing and it’s like, golden era.

but he’s also living amongst mundanes and to some extent he likes them - not to mention, he likes travelling and learning about different places and cultures. and they seem to care more and more about differentiating genders as time goes by, and to be getting more and more violent in their never-ending quest to force people to fit into these roles, and it’s. tiring. exhausting. who cares. it makes less and less sense to him, and this alienation from the whole thing only solidifies his non-conformance and general inability to fit. sometimes he feels old, and alone, even if he has other people who are Like Him now - the shadow world can get tiring, sometimes, and there’s also the shadowhunters racism thing going on that’s also inevitably trying to subjugate their spaces and looks down on their culture - so it also has the downsides of his childhood. sometimes it’s like there’s no word for who he is, no one that can understand it, no place where he can be fully himself and loved for it. and this only intensifies by the middle of the 19th century, when suddenly makeup and colorful clothing is not for men anymore, and he’s even less conforming than before - he was a pretty respectable Man™ to their standarts up to that point, but from then on that is lost. it doesn’t matter too much, because even if he is masc-leaning, he still doesn’t really see himself as a man in the sense that he seems to be expected to. but that furthers the alienation, and the feeling of loneliness and of being old and unfit for this world.

that is also when he meets camille! and that’s canon because there was that one picture of him with camille and ragnor and the clothes they are wearing are very much from the 1840s (i talked about this here), which is precisely when the whole men’s fashion differentiating from women’s fashion thing was starting. so in the context of his gender this makes it even easier for camille to manipulate him into thinking that she’s the only one who will ever understand and accept him, and that he’s naive, and that he doesn’t fit into the world and doesn’t understand what’s best for him, and really he should trust her judgement better because he is a man out of his time, but she can help him, and- yeah. that good olde cis-girl-abuses-trans-person routine, with even more elements than usual. ggghhhghh

and it’s not until the 1960s and 70s that these notions start to actually be challenged. of course, trans people have always existed and were building their own communities and helping each other as well as they could, and magnus certainly was a part of that, because, well, that’s who he is. he doesn’t leave people in need and he knows how painful it is to go through all of this alone, so he does his best to help and adopts pretty much everyone he can. but for the most part, they are a diaspora, and the cissexist society that alienates and tries to kill them goes on unchallenged.

that gives him all the more reason to get so involved with stonewall and the subsequent building of the queer neighborhoods and communities, that feeling that maybe he can belong after all, that things might change and his life doesn’t have to be an infinite cycle of violence, isolation, abuse, and repeat. seeing these events unfold, helping keep people safe, meeting Sylvia Rivera and all the other trans people of color who were part of this, who had stories so similar to his, who were also bisexual (!!), who knew what it was like. that was healing, and that was important to him, and gjfdkafaskfa yeah.

and of course not everything is a sea of roses, because then the community starts to divide and trans and bi ppl, particularly of color, particularly those who are like him, start to be looked down on. Sylvia is arrested and even booed at Pride, suddenly he’s drawing the short end of the stick again. and then there’s the AIDS crisis, and he sees so many people die, and for a while, it feels like there’s no way out after all. and he even loses a lot of his warlock friends, the people who really understand him in his entirety, because sometime around that there’s the Circle massacre, as well. it’s a dark time for him, and honestly it’s a good thing he’s sworn off romance after the whole camille ordeal to clear his head, because after losing so many people he’s never felt this alienated, this alone, and to fall into the arms of another camille or asmodeus would have been just too easy.

but god, he heals. it’s crazy, but he has raphael, he has cat, ragnor, dot, elias, and he somehow builds himself up and relearns to trust and starts to believe that he has the love he’s always believed himself unworthy of having, that he believed impossible to him. and he starts to open up, and to feel more confident in his own skin, right in time to meet alec.

and look, trans!Magnus just makes malec all the more powerful. not only is this shadowhunter showing up and fully trusting a downworlder, giving him his strength, caring about him, cleaning his home (!) and taking care of him, something he hasn’t allowed himself to have for so long, something he didn’t believe he could have and that alec does so easily even when they’ve barely met. he shows magnus so much care and respect from day one and magnus doesn’t get that from anyone, let alone a shadowhunter, let alone a shadowhunter that’s there with jocelyn’s entitled daughter who treats him as a tool - and look, i know he loves clary, but she is entitled and magnus unfortunately enables her and other entitled shadowhunters to treat him as such, because even he treats himself as such most of the time, and it’s something he needs to work on, and probably has been at least since he broke up with camille.

but he’s also a white, gay man, and magnus has seen firsthand that these people can be nasty to people like him. yes he tried to help alec come to terms with his sexuality, and yes he’s surprised him before, but it’s also not like alec didn’t fuck up and wasn’t entirely… well, shadowhunter-y and had a lot of trouble believing that things didn’t have to be the shadowhunter, bigoted way for a while. but alec doesn’t give a shit if magnus is trans, it doesn’t lessen his attraction or love to him in any way, and it’s just. ugh. beautiful.

and yeah this has gotten too long and it already took me like 3 weeks to answer it because of the amount of research ive done and general tiredness so im gonna end this here, and on a positive note for a change! magnus is happy and learning to take care of himself and accepts himself and trans rights. hell yeah.

#it's FINALLY here god damn it i have answered this ask!!!!!!!! holy fuck #ask #cursedlightwood #necromimetics #i know who u are skyler pls #sh #shadowhunters #magnus bane #trans magnus bane #meta #magnus meta #sh meta #malec #overflowing trashcan

37 notes · View notes

roughentumble · 4 years

Text

listen i understand i am biased i understand that being trans means i have a weird relationship with names and i enjoy awful shlocky teenage runaway wish fulfillment WAY too much as a genre, AND i KNOW that i very much am too into the whole "child disowns parents and then there is not a parental redemption arc" thing....

but i cannot stop thinking about like. this reddie concept where like

ok so as a set up, the scenario is, no pennywise au, none of the losers forget each other, but they still have moments of bravery and triumph that are given a chance to build further and further, since they dont forget being brave or strong. they get to set foundations and grow n stuff.

ok now that way too much has been established. eddie leaving his mother the day he turns 18, bitter and angry and completely done with her, and in a fit of reclaiming himself as himself and not her son or anyone else's toy(and also to make it harder for her to find him, if she looks) he changes his last name! and because im extra corny hed change it to amoureux, because its very different(making it feel more His, more like hes staking his own claim over his own life), but also sounds like it could be a last name, and he took some french in high school(in this au he took some french in high school btw) so he knows the word, and also because it means lover

and then when gay marriage is finally legal, richie and eddie(who have been dating since they ran away at 18 if not even earlier, because this is a corny mushy au like that) both get rly excited and everyone expects them to jump at the opportunity, but then eddie pulls back a little. and when richies like whats wrong babe, eddie(eventually) explains that, like, he didnt want to give up his last name. that picking it out and making it HIS and him being his own person, not belonging to anyone even in name, was like. important. for him.

and richie doesnt mind at all, because he doesnt have the best relationship with his parents either so hes not. overly attached to his name? and he thinks eddies name is cool. and hes kinda whipped so he just expected to be taking eddies name anyway. so hes like yeah i'll just take yrs

and eddies like noooooo we cant, your comedy career's taking off, ppl kno u as tozier, youre starting to get name recognition!!!! like it hadnt even occured to him richie would take his name and hes very startled richie would even suggest it.

and richie is like i. i could not care less are you KIDDING. its fine. worst case scenario i just use tozier as a stage name. its ok. now marry the shit out of me b4 the state changes its mind and makes iit illegal again

and then they get married and they have the very corny names eddie and richie amoureux, and they love their dumb cheesy last name that eddie picked out at 18, because they are dumb, corny, cheesy, gay, and in love!!!!!!!!

#im not sorry for this self indulgent post because now i can finally know peace. finally it will stop rattling around in my brain

1 note · View note

nightcoremoon · 4 years

Text

hey so I fully get when a lesbian says she (or he or they or ze or xim or whatever pronoun, but for the purposes of this post I'll be using she) doesn't like it when women use the term bi lesbian. like, I understand that. a homosexual biromantic (homobi) isn't a lesbian, a bisexual homoromantic (bihomo) isn't a lesbian, that makes sense to me. I'm not trying to step on that. even if a homobi or bihomo decided to only have sex with or date other women, it doesn't determine her orientation. asexuals can fuck their partners for their partners' pleasure if not their own but they're still asexual. I'm not sure about aromantics- I doubt it's possible for an aromantic to be in a romantic relationship for their partner's benefit because romance is a two way street [when speaking in terms of monogamous dual-partner relationships obvs]. I'm not an aromantic so I don't know, but even if there was a way for it to happen, and the aro's part in the relationship was more performative, they'd still be aro because their attraction was unchanged. if you are at all attracted to men in any way [besides comphet obvs], even if you choose not to interact with them romantically or sexually, you are still not a lesbian. I'm sure that all rational people can agree to these things.

so by these rules, it would logically follow that the definition of a lesbian is specifically and only a homosexual homoromantic. I mean we just established that that the rules are that lesbians experience attraction to other women and don't experience attraction to men. case closed, right?

ok but wait what about aromantic homosexuals and asexual homoromantics? uh oh.

are ace lesbians a thing? are aro lesbians? I mean, yes, rhetorical question, I've seen both en masse. but I don't see an outcry against those definitions since they clearly don't follow the established rules behind a lesbian identity. maybe it exists and I just haven't seen it. it doesn't matter. the point is, that if bi lesbians are not a thing- which they aren't- it should also stand to reason that ace/aro lesbians are also not a thing. but whatever, it's not a huge deal, terms like sapphic and gynephilic and wlw still exist. I mean, lesbians are lesbians because they love and wanna fuck girls, not because they DONT wanna date or fuck boys. a lack of attraction to specific genders is a lackluster and incredibly reductive thing to identify as (thus the trend of gold star lesbians is dumb & bad and doesn't take into account comphet) UNLESS it's a lack of attraction to ANY such as in the case of ace and aro.

so yeah, women who are homoromantic or homosexual aren't automatically lesbians if they're not both. bi lesbian is an oxymoron, and both bihomo and homobi. case closed, right?

A NEW CHALLENGER APPEARS

what about nonbinary people?

"what aBOUT nonbinary people?"

if a lesbian is specifically a homosexual and homoromantic woman- which they have to be a woman to truly be homosexual/homoromantic and attracted to women- and if experiencing attraction to any gender besides female is an indicator that this person is NOT a lesbian- which the anti bi lesbian crowd has indicated- any self identified lesbian who is attracted to nonbinary people, especially dfab nonbinary people, is not actually a lesbian after all. right?

I'm only applying basic logic here. transitive property. if a+b=c then b+a=c, if c-b=a then c-a=b, etc.

a lesbian who experiences attraction towards nonbinary people is not actually a lesbian. they would be bi in that instance. I don't experience romantic attraction towards men, but I do to women and nonbinary people, therefore I am biromantic [arospec as well but if I boil it down to the basics i'm biro]. I do experience sexual attraction towards all genders so functionally I'm pansexual but identify as bisexual because, well, mostly because of the colors and puns. regardless, despite my total lack of romantic attraction towards men, I am not a bisexual homoromantic, or "bi lesbian", because of my romantic attraction towards nonbinary people. the same goes in reverse as well. many self identified lesbians still will date and fuck dfab nonbinary people despite the total oxymoron. you're not a lesbian you're bi. that's how words work. it's not policing identity, just linguistics.

"but what about nonbinary lesbians???"

ok well if they count and attraction is based on attraction to women regardless of one's own gender... the only thing ensuring that there are no male lesbians (besides lesbians who use he/him) pronouns is the fact that straight men are not queer whereas nonbinary people are queer (since nonbinary people are trans and that's the T in LGBT which is synonymous with the queer community, 12 year old discourse idiots shut the fuck up) and lesbianism is intrinsically queer. also shut up terfs, trans women are not me and trans men are not women. I'll remove your spleens if you say one word. anyway NB lesbians are valid.

although if NB lesbians are valid, and nonbinary people who date women are still lesbians, and if the women who date them are still lesbians, then lesbian DOESNT just mean homosexual homoromantic, and aro/ace lesbians are still valid, and lesbians can be on a split attraction model which can include more than one gender in either their romantic or sexual orientation, so bi lesbians can theoretically technically still be a thing, so this whole fucking discourse is so goddamn stupid and pointless, and everyone needs to shut the fuck up forever about it. like holy shit there better be some legitimate logic justifying this discourse's existence because I'm done.

0 notes

fuckblizzardbearlover · 6 years

Text

I really really REALLY hate that LGBTQ rep is SO sparse shitty and is only within the last few years gotten a fraction of where it should be that there are so many teens and young adults who literally look at the second most * homophobic way to put in gay characters into a story and go “yaaass queen” and whats worse is that so many people especially male ‘gamers’ are SO homophobic that those of us who ARE gay have to grin and bear it and promote these piece of shit characters because its a way to Fuck with the homophobes by essentially making them unhappy by reminding them we exist

So the League of Legends tag blew up today apparently because there is this character called Varus and based on peoples responses you’d think the guy was a Garnet-ian fusion of 2 gay men whos Love overcame death.

But thats not it at all.

One of the ancient race of darkin, Varus was a deadly killer who loved to torment his foes with arrows, driving them to insanity before closing for the kill. Possessed of wondrous beauty, Varus was imprisoned at the end of the Darkin War, but escaped, centuries later, in the remade flesh of two Ionian hunters. The two men had unwittingly released Varus and now bear the bow containing his bound essence. Varus now hunts those who trapped him in order to enact his brutal vengeance, but the souls bound within him fight him every step of the way.

At the end of the Darkin War, the queen carried Varus’s bow to a land that would become known as Ionia. Her last act was to imprison the bow deep within a lightless cell sunk deep beneath a mountain temple overlooking the village of Pallas. There it remained, imprisoned by the natural magic of Ionia and the ritual ministrations of its guardians. The bow remained hidden deep underground for centuries, unknown, untouched, and all but forgotten until Noxian invaders attacked Ionia. Two beast hunters - Valmar and his heartlight, Kai - fought the first wave of these invaders at the Temple of Pallas. Though their courage was great and drove off the attackers, Kai was mortally wounded. A grief-stricken Val carried him inside, praying the temple’s magic would restore him.

But the temple held only damnation, and both hunters were consumed by the unleashed power of the darkin. The very matter of their bodies was unraveled and bound together in a warp and weft of new flesh to craft a perfect body, fit to bear the soul of Varus. What emerged from the temple was a gestalt creature, pale and inhumanly beautiful, part human, part darkin, Varus was reborn as an entity with a war for supremacy being waged in its soul.

The human and darkin elements of this newborn body are in constant flux, with each element sometimes managing to wrest control of the body for a short time before being reined in by the other. Varus fights to overcome Val and Kai’s resistance once and for all so that he may wreak vengeance on mortals for the destruction of his race. But Kai and Val fight on against his malevolent influence, hoping against hope that their love can overcome the darkin’s baser urges.

How long Val and Kai can keep Varus fully at bay is anyone’s guess, but should this sadistic and egotistical darkin killer come to fully dominate his new body, it is certain he will seek to reunite with the survivors of his race in hopes of reducing Runeterra to an ashen wasteland.

Like....I get it , i get what they were going for. Varus is canonically part gay lovers, and supposedly their love might one day purify or at least stop him

But that still leaves them killed, who turned to their temple for salvation and instead got murdered and their bodies violated and their souls trapped to be in a Hellish struggle for the rest of their existence in which if they fail a horrible monster that used them will go out and murder who knows how many.

This isnt , like i said, a Garnet like thing. it could have worked. it would still be “bury your gays” and WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH STRAIGHT PEOPLE THAT THEY CANT THINK OF GAY PEOPLE UNLESS SOMEONE IS DEAD! But like it would have been easy to have it to where this was not a dark aligned creatures, that their love DID IMMEDIATELY overcome the demon and cast it out and they roam the world now together as this fused being fighting evil.

And i think whats worse the idea that maybe someone who was gay pitched this idea because its Terrible and there is enough gayngst out there.

but like there are people out there, and prob some of them young teens that dont know any better, shoving this around like ...people being gay is something good. No! Gay characters have existed forever, they were just called Dandy’s or Professional Bachelors they were gay coded but never mentioned. There has ALWAYS been gay representation its just been BAD representation.

but you want to tell me that a Demon eating the souls of two gay men who will endure torture for the rest of their existence is wonderful? fuck off with that. I bet a majority of the LoL characters sexuality doesnt even come into play with anything except for some shitty professional artist who works for them and makes upskirt shots of the overbreasted women in the game. there is probably a dozen of them that a new short story could casually mention an old lover, or they just have to put a stray thought into their head. any number of their established hero could have been gay or bisexual (or trans)

Like....Its obvious the stupid bitch who runs starwars and made sure all our heros of color in Rogue One wants to avoid being the one to put gays in Star Wars, and the cast behind supergirl basically condemned fans for wanting Supergirl to be in a relationship with the only person she has a healthy relationship with that isnt her sister.

most of the “lgbt” rep out there is still used as jokes, joke characters or as pervy “oh look how liberal and progressive we are with our drugs and sex and gays and murder” characters.

UG!

*forgot my astrix - the MOST homophobic way to deal with a gay character is to make a Tortured gay who is sexually repressed** who finally gets tired of having good morals and decides to start leading a path of hedonism, sex, drugs and irresponsibility because being gay and being a meth addict are the same kind of sin and if he’s going to die eventually might as well be as Sinful as he can be, right?

**look at lgbt authors for examples of repressed tortured gays who come to enjoy life and realize they have been victims and all their self hate is unjustified gaslighting caused and they can live their life when they realize this. The problem is not ‘repressed gay” per sei but then only abandoning their repression when they realize that there is nothing wrong with being gay because its ok to be a hedonist , disgusting freak, because thats what that narrative says

#lgbtq #mlm #homphobia #lol #league of legends #moba #gaming #representation #overwatch #supergirl #true blood #game of thrones #who thought 2 gay men have their souls sucked and their bodies violated by a demon was a good idea?

4 notes · View notes

mercenarypark · 7 years

Text

“ hotaliens said: WHEN U CAN talk about medic and his birds, red scout and blu scout mayhaps, ANDdddddddddddddddd what the mercs do on the weekend “ hey guys remember how i said i was gonna talk about hcs well let me finally get around to that hours late here we go

[Medic and Birds]

[these go for RED and BLU medic]

-Medic’s mother had a cockatoo, she absolutely ADORED him even when he was a baby, though ofc his mother made sure to monitor their interactions together; and even as an infant he always treated that bird with surprising gentleness, never pulling or prodding hard. that cockatoo never bit him harder than a warning nip, and she would somehow always know how to calm him down from a tantrum.

the bird died of illness right around the time the war started, and to this day he believes that somehow, those were connected.

-medic stole his flock of doves[technically homing pigeons] from a wedding in England, not realizing that the catering van he’d stolen had an entire flock of birds and a makeshift aviary inside. the method with which he retrained them is,,,,,,, unconventional and spoiler-y for some things i have written but not published

-he holds full conversations with birds, often- not just his own, but birds in the trees, on the street, in pet stores and houses.

-the flock is mostly his homing pigeons from his stolen wedding flock, and their children; with a couple of fancy pigeons stolen from pigeon shows[because lord knows the poor things need some help, esp the ones who’ve been bred to fit a certain standard at the cost of their health and ability to function], and a few feral street pigeons he’s adopted

-the flock mostly refers to him as “papa”, “Vati” or “Opa”

-he speaks to them in German, Yiddish, and English- they understand all three

-he cries every single time an egg hatches. every time. sadly he cant let EVERY egg that they lay, hatch, because he’d never be able to care for them all, but the flock understands this and lets him remove eggs as he pleases, and in return he gives them all as much love and attention as he can

-medic’s office is his makeshift aviary, though he very rarely keeps them cooped in there- for the majority of the day they have free roam of the base. they all know where home is

-heavy, pyro, and scout all are allowed to play w/ medic’s birds whenever they want, heavy and pyro both have a key to medic’s office so they can get into the aviary without having to ask [scout WOULD have one but she’s notorious for losing keys]

-----

[RED Scout BLU Scout]

-for clarities sake, again, there are a lot of things i[and gabby+em]’ve written but not published that i dont want 2 spoil, and the reason that theres two of every merc is one of them; but i will say that yes, there are two versions of scout who mostly have the same backstory shit, but things differ when theyre hired as mercs

-[also, both scouts use she/her and occasionally they/them]

-both scouts have a long standing hatred for the other, and absolutely target each other on the battlefield

-this is at least a LITTLE BIT because of self loathing, IE “im gonna beat the shit out of the person who looks exactly like me”, though neither of them realize that

-RED scout is the one who comes to terms with the fact that she’s trans first and that just amplifies how much she HAAATES the BLU scout

-but RED scout is also the first of the two to go through character growth and become a genuinely better person, as she slowly comes out to her family and friends, finds support in her teammates, accidentally adopts medic as her unofficial dad, unlearns a lot of internalized bullshit,

-which infuriates BLU scout because suddenly RED scout doesnt seem to really care about fighting her anymore

-and then BLU scout overhears one of RED mercs refer to RED scout w/ she/her pronouns and has a fucking crisis of confusion [but also validation]

-and after a lot of internal turmoil brought on by the UNBELIEVABLE Mental Fuckery that has got to come with realizing that the alternate version of yourself is openly trans while you’re still confused and closeted,

-BLU scout decides yea u know what. im trans and im not gonna hide it anymore, esp since apparently all the RED versions of my teammates are accepting so like, the BLUs should be too right???

-and they are

-BLU scout and BLU medic aren’t as close as RED scout + RED medic, for multiple reasons, but in both cases the scouts came out to the medics first [because, Hes Doctor]

-after BLU scout starts going through her own Character Development[tm] and mellows out, both scouts are pretty chilled on the battlefield towards each other, even joking with each other about their teammates, nowhere near as violent and vicious as they were before

-most of the time that they DO fight its more casual and more like rough-housing, with bullets and also spiked baseball bats

-sorry this mostly turned into Gender Stuff hdfjghh but i took that prompt to mean “both scout’s relationships 2 the other” and the answer to that is, well, “fight” ----

[weekend]

[some of these are specific to the RED versions of everyone, sorry, though most are more general]

-demo is usually working one of his other jobs- piano gigs at fancy establishments, art commissions[hes a pretty fantastic painter, he prefers more abstract pieces and he has a very distinct style with a strong sense of movement and fluidity], and some volunteer work at the ol’ kitten orphanage [he’d work at the regular human orphanage next door, but, well. he’s got bad experiences with those. and hes scared of messing up around children]

basically even when hes technically off duty, hes still always working- its the degroot way, whether he likes it or not

but when he can relax, he usually spends as much time as he can with his parrot, keeping her entertained and socialized and happy; he also spends a lot of time in engies workspace watching him build and repair stuff while they drink together, with pyro playing whatever game they’re hyperfocused on at the moment, and, in the old days, he would spend a lot of time sneaking out to be with BLU soldier... Those days are gone in the times of WAR, of course

-engie, of course, is usually still working as well. honestly he doesnt even notice the fact that its the weekend half the time unless someone tells him, he’ll just keep pouring over blueprints and fine tuning designs.

if you do pry him away from his work table long enough, though, he will crash on the nearest soft surface and sleep for 15 hours. rancho relaxo time motherfucker

-medic becomes a cryptid every goddamn weekend, unless you check one of four places: his bedroom, heavy’s bedroom, his office/aviary, and the morgue. you will not see him literally anywhere else. he is also only seen with at least 5-6 birds on his person at all times, as opposed to his usual 1 or 2.

he spends most of the time on the weekends being v overaffectionate with both his birds and heavy; and the rest of the time cutting open dead bodies in the morgue and injecting them with weird shit

-heavy spends a lot of time reading and writing on the weekends- editing older drafts of books he’s written, translating things to and from English to practice his skills with the language, and just, reading books he’s had recommended to him or old favorites. sometimes he reads out loud to medic while medic is busy with other things [IE he’s distracted by birds or corpses]

-spy? literally just this textpost by gabby.

http://thefrenchiestfrytisi.tumblr.com/post/161502800096/ok-before-i-go-to-sleep-though-this-image-from

you dont need any more info than that. this is perfect. spy spends like 5 hours in the bath every saturday and 6 every sunday and its always like this

-pyro is the other cryptid at the base, no one can ever find them unless pyro WANTS to be found so they can show off a drawing they did, or a card trick they learned, or just so they can hang out w/ someone for a while

-scout is either playing Video Games[tm] from the moment she wakes up until she passes out, or she is outside jogging for 3 hours straight and then she impulse steals a golf cart, there is no middle ground here -every single saturday, soldier doesnt realize its the weekend, gets completely ready for battle, runs outside, and only sees the other soldier. and they just both fight each other for the next couple hours until someone gets them both to come inside. the rest of the weekend she’s “taming” her raccoons and planning for the next fight

-i dont care about sniper

#hotaliens #IVE STILL GOTTA RESPOND TO BIRCHMERE'S BUT THAT WONT BE TOO HARD #ilu both #long post /#text heavy /#ive literally been writing on this on and off for hours hdkfhgh #frend #birds /#medical /#death /#medical abuse /?#ask to tag /#reblog if u want idc /#captain's log #tf2 posts

7 notes · View notes

tnbwdlm · 5 years

Text

Ok but fic writers are awesome and I need (at least some of) them to be future screenwriters

like ok screenwriters are being more inclusive now than ever but imagine someone who started out as a fic writer

no introducing new characters for the sole purpose of being a love interest and then (sometimes) making an interensting character out of them. either established relationships, people who already like each other or WAITING TO SEE WHICH CHARACTERS ACTUALLY HAVE GOOD CHEMISTRY.

NO TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS or toxic relationships where SOMEONE (not necessarily someone in the relationship) notices and F*CKING COPING bc not every problem from the toxic relationship goes away with that person/people.

ppl admitting that they have been through abuse and not only romantically but by their friends/family

people who have accidents AND DON’T RECOVER!!! like, now there’s all the angst in the moment of the accident and wondering if the character is going to live or not but what about losing mobility or a body part forever?

Also mental disorders/illnesses/conditions! Give me more adhd/schizophrenic/autism/depression (NOT JUST BC SOMETHING BAD HAPPENED TO THEM)/bipolar/etc. (I don’t know many of these sorry) well researched and with some common and some not so much traits of their condition regarding their every day lives and not only a guest character that the main characters have to deal with the angst for 1-2 episodes.

People who seek professional help bc they’ve been through trauma and not seeing it as a bad thing! Ppl going to a therapist bc they have a stressful life or bc they get easily worried or something that is not usually considered reason enough to go to one BC THERE’S nOTHING WRONG WITH GOING TO SEE A THERAPIST.

Sex not being taboo and having sex conditions. Sexual relationships where one can tell the other(s) about their conditions. No slut-shaming (especially towards women), women can like sex, nymphomania... men can be raped too, women can be rapists, queer people can be rapists and/or raped.

WOMEN! QUEER PEOPLE! PEOPLE OF COLOR! MORE THAN ONE OF THESE AT THE SAME TIME! I’m not going to rant about this one bc although it’s a very big deal for me (being the three) I think that of the topics I’ve written about these are the ones that most people are already asking for.

F*ck it. We need more women. Gimme my trans women! gimme my curvy women! gimme my athletic women! gimme my thin women! gimme women with stretch marks, birthmarks, vitiligo, freckles, etc.! gimme WOMEN WITH BODY HAIR! gimme WOMEN WITH SHORT HAIR OR WITHOUT HAIR! gimme as many different types of women as you can ALL PERSONALITIES AND BODIES!!!

Show gay men who like dresses and others who like suits or the same man who likes both! Show me non-binary people! People who feel like a woman some days and others like a man or none at all! Trans women are women and trans men are men! Show me all my queers!!!

Some people of color have accents, some other people of color dont! Being of color doesn’t define who we are or where we are from!

And most importantly, none of this is the most interesting thing about the character. While there’s nothing wrong with having a story arch about this, THIS IS NOT THE ENTIRE PLOT! When we say we ant representation, we mean that we want characters that can fight an alien or solve mysteries or find a deserted island AND be (at least) one of these not characters that can’t possibly move a finger other than for coming out to people.

Ok so I went on a huge rant here and it probably could have been longer but I have to wake up early tomorrow so thanks for coming to my TED talk.

I know there are way more things I should have added or maybe some of this didn’t come out the way I intended it to and it sounds offensive to you so I’m sorry and it wasn’t my intention.

Also, I think what I ended up writing is more of a complain about current representation in Tv shows than possible future representation if fic writers end up being screenwriters (just to be clear, I am aware that there IS good representation but I think there’s too little).

0 notes

macchiahoe · 6 years

Text

uhhhh

So I guess before I start on my rant I’m just gonna give y’all some reading questions to think about (and seriously let me know how you feel because idk how to interpret this situation) and those are 1) am i being emotionally manipulative in this context?? 2)....any other concerns you have or want to point out. Ok. So with those questions in mind, I’m going to explain my day today. For any of you guys reading, I would assume that you’ve probably read my previous personal posts, but if you have not, I’ll give a brief background. Broke up with my ex in January. She’s already moved on in less than a month. For this topic specifically, we both are involved in GSA (since she’s a lesbian, and im a queer trans man). I’ve been wanting to get involved in GSA again, since I wasn’t really interested when I was dating my ex, and I also need something to occupy my time now, and I need socialization because talking to people online and through text can only do so much. However, my ex, also wants to get involved in GSA again as well. Which is absolutely fine!! Her partner is also involved in GSA, so that gives her a motive to go as much as she can. However, I feel unbearably anxious when I see my ex and her partner, so I don’t really want to go to GSA if I know that I’ll see them there. And I don’t want to make them feel as if they can’t go there but heres where “the twist” comes in I’ve talked to my ex before about creating a compromise. I mentioned to her that I want to also be involved in this club, but I wouldn’t feel comfortable with her there. I brought up that in general, I think it would be in our best interests if we could both go to the club and not have to see each other, which is why I proposed the idea of us alternating which weeks we go. It sucks, because both of us want to go as much as we can, but I just want to feel safe whenever I go there and not feel as if I’m going to throw up just because I see my ex. Alternatively, my ex and her partner have a lot of negative feelings about me, and they should be able to enjoy their time there, and I’ve tried to express this to my ex. This comes into the conversation that I’ve had today with my ex. I really wanted to go to the meeting last night, because it was discourse night and I love hearing that good ol tea. I didn’t go however, because I told my ex that I wouldn’t, and I respected the compromise that I thought we had agreed upon. So I went to the gym instead, and did something else productive with my time. Early today I sent her a message hoping that she had a good time, and if it was alright if I went to the next meeting. She said that yes, it was ok if I went, and then didn’t respond for a while. I mentioned that perhaps her and her partner can do something exciting since it’s valentines day, and since i thought we had agreed on the compromise, that would mean that they werent going. However, she said that their plans were for the day were to go to that meeting. I was taken aback, because I thought we had already established our compromise and that would mean that I could not feel anxious about going next week. Thiissss is where things went south fast. I brought up the fact that we had made a compromise and my ex said that we had only thought about it. Perhaps we had. But I brought up the fact that we couldn’t even manage to walk past each other or have a kind textual conversation, so what would happen if we were in the same physical space as each other? I asked her if we could just keep the compromise we talked about because I want to be a part of this club and not feel anxious (anymore than I have to bc social anxiety) while im there. And because of this, she felt like I was trying to disconnect her from her friends already in that room and the club in general. She mentioned how we wouldn’t even have to talk to each other, which I would do if she was there anyways, but she kept dismissing the main fact that I dont want her there because I feel extremely anxious and we’re both not ready to see each other anymore than we can help it....so why not help it??? I mentioned that I felt like she kept on dismissing my feelings about the problem. I said that perhaps I was being lowkey manipulative and she said, “if you know you are then why don’t you stop doing it?” and I wasn’t intentionally trying to be rude by trying to prioritize my feelings in this relationship for once but i guess i had! I mentioned that one of the ways for me to move on was to actually get involved in other things such as clubs, and it would mean a lot to me if i could go to this club, even if every other week. I raised the question if she would actually want to see me at this club, since she was deadset on going whenever she wanted. She said that she would be fine with it, since she has emotional support, and then asked for my feelings. I gave my feelings since she asked for them, and said that I would much rather not see her, because I don’t have any emotional support and I don’t have anyone there to rely on if things go south for me, whereas she can turn to her partner, or her close friends there. She didn’t respond to those remarks for a long time. I guess making her realize that she has way more support than me made her feel like i was being manipulative when i was really just asking her to try to consider how i felt? because my ex has been my main source of support for two years and i really really really really dont want to talk to her more than i have to but i can’t turn to other people unless i actually can make friends, and i can only personally do that in an environment that im comfortable, this my given case, one that happens to be ex free. I told her that I apologize for being defensive, coming across as nonempathetic, and trying to isolate her from this space. I acknowledged her feelings of anger, tiredness, bitterness, her lack of sympathy, and a bunch of other things I could tell she was feeling. I simply asked if she could acknowledge my feelings as well, because despite trying to explain my stance repeatedly, she continually turned me down, and made rude remarks about me. My ex said that she was trying to be sympathetic, but she doesn’t know how to make the overall situation better. I again, brought up the idea of the compromise that we had discussed so. many. times. before. I asked if she had another potential solution, since she had been so distasteful towards it. She said that she didn’t know how we could both be involved in the same club, if we couldn’t be there at the same time and I just...brought up the compromise because while we will both be involved less often, which sucks for both of us, because i know we would all prefer to go weekly, it allows for us not to have to worry about each other in the space and to just be comfortable for that week. I tried giving advice that they could do alternative events on their off nights, such as spending their time together doing something else (like a date night or something), or spend time with their other friends to try to distract them from the fact that they’re missing out on something, by filling their time with something else. My ex said that she already decided that she and her partner wouldnt go next week, so she was annoyed that I kept pressing the issue. I apologized and mentioned that I was sincerely just trying to give some advice. I feel like the way I worded a lot of my phrases was lowkey manipulative, but my ex didn’t take a lot of what i was saying into account as well so...?? Was I being irrational for trying to create some kind of compromise between us? I mean....it’s a compromise, its not what either of us ideally want, but it’s what is fair for both of us. Did I emotionally force my ex (and potentially her partner) out of a space she should feel safe in? I feel like I was just trying to be rational and explain my feelings and motives, but my ex wasn’t being cooperative throughout the process, and continually dismissed my feelings. SIGH

#long post #like really long #personal #relationships

0 notes