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silveanna · 3 years

Text

Hello World

Na jaemin x fem!reader, Feat. 00 liners

Summary: Wait, humans suddenly disappeared? well isn’t it fun? you get to do whatever you want now but no one will be there for you anymore. You’re completely alone in a world that seems to be dead but is that Really it?

It’s been hours since you woke up, you’ve been wandering around the city but you haven’t met a single person yet. You also checked your phone but all your contacts, photos and all the files in it are gone, there is also no signal. It was quiet, too quiet it was hurting your ears. There’s no wind or any birds chirping and especially, the people are gone, it feels like the world isn’t alive at all. “i swear if i’m in Alice in borderland, im going to kill myself” you said.

You went to the mall market but the food seems to be expired already, seriously for how long did they disappeared? but at the fruit aisle there were still a few fresh fruits, you weren’t a big fan of fruits, you hate it but you have no other choice, all the foods are expired even if it isn’t you don’t know how to cook at all. Well, you can cook instant noodles and eggs but that’s all.

And of course because you’re alone, you jump on the beds at the furniture aisle while singing “five little monkeys jumping on the beds” not until you heard a loud thud nearby, you quickly hide under the blanket. Minutes passed nothing happened, maybe something just accidentally fell. Yeah ACCIDENTALLY

Months have passed, everyday feels the same, like you’re on a loop it’s sickening, are you really alone? or maybe your just dreaming. You tried pinching your arm, it hurts but nothing changed the world is still empty... dead. You’re running out of food, Your gonna die alone, no one is going to mourn your death. “Oh god oh god..” you pulled your hair and cried.

“I don’t want this, i didn’t ask for this.. I miss everyone” you said and hugged your knees.

“Here”

“Huh?” you immediately looked up, a guy with jet black hair beside you is offering you a handkerchief, you ignored it and wiped your tears with your hands, he looks away and puts the handkerchief back in his pocket. There’s a lot of stuff running in your mind right now, you feel happiness, sadness, and anger at the same time. You snapped out of your thoughts when he waved his hand in-front of your face. “I think they forgot us and went to mars” he joked but it didn’t move you.

You were too busy scanning every inch of his face, why the fuck he looks so healthy compared to me.. maybe he’s a robot?

He was in the middle of talking when you suddenly poked his cheek, “oh wow you’re real” you said, he laughed and removes your finger away form his face. “Yes I am real”

You keep asking him about everything, he tries his best to answer your questions. “Before all of this, i like being alone, it relaxes me, you know just vibing with myself but not this alone” he explained.

“I know, waking up thinking it was another normal day and the next thing you knew the people are gone, I might have you now but you might suddenly disappear too or me. Back then I’m scared to die, cause when you die you can’t do anything you want anymore, it’s just like dreaming forever, but for me this is worse” You said.

He took your hands and looked at you in the eyes, it was beautiful but the person who have it is sad. He wanted to changed that “Let’s make the most of it while we still have each other, I’m Jaemin by the way you?” He smiled.

His smile was beautiful and calming, almost like a free therapy, it made your heart skipped a beat “I’m y/n” . And so you two did, you shared each other’s favorite stuffs, read books together, danced in an empty street while raining, watched the sunset, played board games, and put on some expensive clothes and pretended like you guys are in a fashion runaway.

“You see that three stars together? My mom said those are the three Kings, oh there’s the orion!” You said pointing in the starry sky, you and jaemin are stargazing on top of a hill. He stares at you lovingly while you keep telling him about the meanings of each constellation you point out in the night sky. “I love you” he said out of nowhere causing you to stop.

You looked at him, his eyes sparkling “I love you too you know that” you said.

“No like LOVE love” he clear up.

Jaemin looked away, “It’s fine I can wait, I have all the time in the world”

Silence..

“It’s not like there’s someone who’s going to stole yo-“ when he looks back at your spot you were gone, it was as if you had suddenly disappeared like a bubble. “Y/n?” He stands up and starts looking around for you, his breath getting heavy, his vision starts to get blurry as tears formed on his eyes. Jaemin dropped on his knees and looked down. Just when things started to be fun, one had to disappear. Now he’s all alone again.

•••

You slowly opened your eyes, your vision cleared up and a white ceiling is the first one that greeted you. You felt a dextrose which is injected into your right hand. Wait, what are you doing in a hospital? you were like fine seconds ago.. and where’s Jaemin?

A woman entered the room, she looked middle aged based on her hair which has a few white strands. You were surprised when she suddenly jumped in joy when she saw you were awake, she fishes her phone out of her pocket and dials someone’s number. “Honey come here! our daughter is finally awake!” after that she cuts the line and hugged you. “Mom?” you said. She cares your hair softly “Im glad you can still remember me, i’ll go get the doctor wait here okay?” you nodded.

Your mom leaves the room, you sat there in silence. Was is it all a dream or am i in another dream right now? what about Jaemin?

Soon the doctor arrived with your mom, no, with your whole family. The doctor asked you a few question and you answered them effortlessly, “Your daughter is doing fine now, we can arrange her documents so she can leave in few days, and i recommend to let her rest for three days before going back to business.” the doctor explained.“Thanks doc” you heard your dad said, the doctor nodded and leaves the room along with their nurse.

“I don’t remember what happened, how did I ended up here?”you asked, they all sat beside your bed. Your mom held out your hand and rubs it with her thumb. “You got hit by Car, you were comatose for 8 months we thought we were going to lose you” Your dad explained. You forced a smile, you don’t know what to do in this kind of situation so you just looked down.

You looked up after you felt your stomach growl, “can i go to the cafeteria? im hungry”you requested.

Your mom accompanied you to the cafeteria while your dad and older brother decided to stay in your room, you were surrounded by a lot of people you felt different. You want to tell your family about what happened and especially Jaemin but they might think your silly. While your mom is ordering food, you are looking for an empty seat. You weren’t paying much attention infront of you and bump into someone, luckily they catches you before you kiss the floor.

“sorry i’m so sorry i wasn’t looking” you apologized.

“no no it’s fine i wasn’t either” the guy smiled, he felt familiar, it feels like you already met him but where? “oh wait y/n? it’s you, glad you already woke up!” he said and hugged you.

“i’m sorry you are?”

“i’m Jeno, we’re classmates remember?, i came here to visit you and visit my friend jaemin also-”

“Jaemin? did you just say Jaemin? where is he? is he okay? wait is he here? please tell me it’s just high fever or he works here?”you asked.

“Oh Y/n there you are, let’s eat?” Your mom interprets the conversation, “he’s in room 25, 10th floor meet me there” Jeno said and left.

“So Jeno’s here too?” Your mom asked.

“Yeah he’s supposed to visit me but we met here so he’s off to his friend now” you explained, you were happy to hear that Jaemin’s here but felt guilty after you remembered you suddenly left him at the hill.

After you finished eating with your mom, you told her you’re going to room 25, she still accompanied you there but she just waited outside the room. When you got inside you immediately saw Jaemin sleeping peacefully in his hospital bed with his life support. He’s sleeping, does that mean he’s still in that world? Alone?

There are tears trailing down from your cheeks as you approach his unconscious body, “h-how long has he been like this?” you asked Jeno, he stood beside you and pats your back even though he has no idea how you knew his bestfriend. “3 years, brain infection”

That night you prayed a thousand times, hoping that in your sleep you would return to that world to be with Jaemin again and tell him you love him too. Eventually you got there, to the place where you guys usually hang out but you didn’t met him, you looked around for him but you couldn’t even see his shadow. Or any trails he left behind. He just disappeared like you did before. Morning came, afternoon, evening, a day, and a week. You didn’t woke up. You were trapped in there again.

Kicking a can out of your way as you took a road to god knows where, you lost count on how long you’ve been trapped but it almost felt like a year or more “I wonder if Jaemin already woke up”

“He hasn’t” you turned around and saw a very tall figure of a man wearing black suit, “But he will, just not now. I believe your time is up miss” you took a few steps back away from the man. “Haha very funny, I know you’re just trapped here just like me” you said and started to walk again. “What you call ‘here’ is where lost souls go who still have a chance to live but you don’t, your brain is starting to shut down and the doctors back in the real world are trying to save you with a defibrillator” he explained. You stopped in your tracks. So now you’re dying? you haven’t pretty much done all your goals in life yet.

“I-I’ll go back! I will woke up!”

“Haha we’ll see miss, three days, I will give you three days, if i still spot you wandering around here you have no choice but to come with me” he smirked, he snapped his fingers and poof! he was nowhere to be seen.

•••

“You seriously don’t remember her?”

“No... why? Do I have to?” Jaemin sipped his black coffee.

“I don’t know, it’s just that after she woke up she went to see you, she was crying it’s kinda...unfair”Jeno explained, ever since Jaemin woke up Jeno’s been trying to tell everything about you but it doesn’t ring any bell to him. “Unfair? What? It’s my fault if i can’t remember her? I’ve been asleep for 5 years and so is she, how the hell— argh nevermind” Jaemin face palms himself.

“C’mon Jeno don’t force him to this, he can’t be stressed” Renjun said.

“Yeah yeah right sorry” Jeno apologized.

They all went back to their business, silence filled the room. Renjun and Haechan are focused on their phones, Jeno looking outside the window, and Jaemin drinking his favorite drink. Jaemin was dozing off until a certain memory from his dream played in his mind. He was in an empty grocery store with a girl, everything was clear except her face, her voice was also mute. “I like canned bread, it’s kinda good” Jaemin said out of nowhere.

His friends looked at each other in confusion and back at Jaemin, Haechan scoffs “since when have you eaten canned bread?”

Jaemin’s unable to answer, he swear he have. Jaemin shruggs “Nevermind”.

12:30 pm, Renjun and Haechan already left since they still had school tomorrow. Same as for Jeno, he’s just waiting for Jaemin’s mom to arrive so he could go home, he didn’t want to leave his dear friend alone. The Tv is on shopping channel, the air conditioner was off but it’s still cold. They couldn’t sleep. As Jaemin spaces out, he hears this familiar voice of that girl again, she was singing. It was annoying and relaxing him at the same time, he couldn’t understand why he feels such feeling towards a girl who only lives inside his head or is she really? Her face is still blurry but he can finally hear her voice loud and clear. “Hey little train we are all jumping on..the train that goes to the kingdom...” Jaemin sang quietly.

“Where did you heard that?” Jeno ask.

“Someone... I don’t know” Jaemin replied, Jeno shook his head and puts his attention back to his phone. It keeps happening, Jaemin saying things out of nowhere, facts about him that sounds fake but aren’t , its just that, it didn’t happened in reality. “I used to hear y/n sing that a lot when she still attends school, it’s kinda annoying to hear the same lines over and over again but, her voice is beautiful.” Jeno shared.

silence...

“I want to see her, that girl you keep blabbering about, I want to see her” jaemin said.

“But you’re still not allowed to leave your bed until the doctors said so?”

“Do you think I care? I’ve been in this bed for 5 years it’s time to get up” Jaemin hops down the bed and puts his slippers on, he goes at the door and peeks outside. “There’s no one around let’s go” he says. The hallway was empty and quiet, the nurse who was appointed at the receptionist desk was in deep sleep. It was so easy for the boys to wander around without staffs standing in their way.

There’s no one inside y/n’s room at the moment, she was still unconscious, a nasal cannula place around her nose as it gives her oxygen. “She got hit by car, woke up after 8 months and went to see you, she didn’t woke up again after that” Jeno explains.

Jaemin held your hand, it was cold as ice, i never met you but how come i feel like i already knew you like the back of my hand?

•••

“I can’t decide whether I should take her or not, I’m already late for my given deadline argh” the black suit guy whom you met earlier was watching you from afar kick a vending machine again and again, you weren’t hungry or anything, well you can’t feel any hunger anymore, you’re just an empty lost soul who’s not yet ready to go. “Something is holding her back, like a thin red string attached on her back that trails back to the real world” he rest his head on his palm.

He teleported right in front of you, “it’s only day one what are you doing here?” You ask him.

“Listen missy, I’m just doing my job okay? Just come with me and you’ll be at peac—“ he was cut off when he hears a heartbeat, your heart beat. It was purple and it’s glowing, “what’s happening? What’s happening?!” You shook him.

“Hold on hold on, I’ll get my handbook” he snapped his finger and an old big brown book appeared out of nowhere, he used his powers to flip the pages until it gets to the page he was looking for. He puts his glasses on and reads the text. “Well it seems like your not coming with me anymore, any moment now you’ll come back to the real word BUT you won’t remember everything” he explains.

“Is it temporary? Like after a long time I will regain my memories?”

“I’m afraid not, but at least you’re coming back” the grim reaper hears you sigh,he looks away and flicks your forehead. “ah! what was that for?” you glared at him while rubbing the spot he just flicked. “I did it so you won’t lose your memories, it’s against the rules but it’s my first time doing it so i guess i won’t get fired entirely. Maybe just a few punishments” he shruggs.

“why? why did you cross the line?”

“i want to see how it’s all going to end... don’t worry much kid, i have other back up jobs”

5 days later

“Finally! shit!” You cheered, you’ve lost count on how many tissues you used to remove the ink from your face. 3 minutes before you woke up someone’s kid got inside your ward and drew on your face. Your family was crying and laughing at you at the same time, you were confused at first until your brother handed you a mirror. You dump all the tissues at the trash and went out the bathroom, you were with your brother at the moment because your parents are still at work. 3 more days before you’ll finally be discharge and another 3 days for you to rest at home before going back in action.

You went to the couch where your brother was peacefully sleeping, he’s pretty much also knocked out because of work. You don’t want to disturb him anymore, so you went outside to look around, it’s boring if you just stayed in your room. You found a large garden at the ground floor and went in there, the sunlight is illuminating the whole garden, it just rained a while ago so it looks like there are crystals glued to every plant and flower. All of it shines beautifully. The place looks like those beautiful sceneries in anime’s. Back then at that world everything looks cold, lifeless, almost looks like grey.

You went to the main spot of the garden, the wishing fountain. “Hey little train wait for me.. i was held in chains but now im free” you sang, you stare at your reflection from the water and tucked a strand behind your ear. “I’m hanging in there don’t you see?” out of nowhere, you heard someone whispered the lyrics, you got startled because of it and fell towards the fountain. What if it’s a ghost? You’re in a hospital after all.

“Oh my god i’m so sorry! here let me help you up”

“Good thing i have-- Jaemin?! wait, is that really you?” your eyes widen, you feel your heart beat faster and got goosebumps. He wasn’t wearing a hospital gown anymore, that means he got discharged before you did.

He giggled “why don’t you poke my cheeks again like you did last time?”

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chrysalizzm · 3 years

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Do you have fic recs or head canons? please ramble for paragraphs im bored and looking for something to read.

oh boy do i have some fic recs for you (and everyone who sees this), my friend! this one is quite long because there are a lot of fics i like and this isn’t all of them, so if you’d like more, you can check out my bookmarks page ^^

The Run and Go by Numanum

“That’s not fair,” Bad protests. Dream raises an eyebrow at him and jerks his tied hands in emphasis, clearly saying that none of this is fair.

“Look, you keep running! Who runs if they’re not guilty?” Bad challenges, staring him down with obvious distrust from the generous distance of exactly five feet. It’s fair, as much as Dream hates to admit it; it’s not like he’s been the most honest hostage in the past, with all of his escaping and running and framing himself for his own murder, apparently.

“Only the good die young, and only the guilty run,” Technoblade chimes in, holding his own potato and sitting in the snow like it’s not cold at all.

A hot flash of irritation burns through him.

“Someone being chased?” he counters sarcastically, jerking his tied wrists up again to wave them in front of the group. Sapnap laughs so hard that he almost chokes on his potato, but it dies off when Dream gives him an icy stare.

Or: Dream is having a hard time, and the hunter just want to adopt him like a stray puppy that bites you at every opportunity.

multi-chapter, ongoing.

a manhunt with plot-style fic! exquisitely written, visceral in the emotions it evokes. it’s the kind of fic that makes me feel all shaky with anticipation, the kind that i have a physical reaction to; you can’t put it down.

pain. all-consuming pain. this one feels bad, man

and as he fell (you walked away) by Teahound

Once upon a time, there were three hunters.

They were good at what they did. If you wanted something-- or better yet, someone-- found, discovered, or destroyed, they were the people you asked. They didn’t have much to their name, besides a formidable reputation, but they were a team, and that was enough for them.

Once upon a time, there was a king in the forest.

He wore a mask, but it didn’t matter. That deep in the forest, in a hidden fortress, buried behind leaves and monsters and broken stone, no one could see his face anyway. He had been there a very long time, and he was alone.

Being a king can be a very lonely thing. So one day, the king left the fortress.

A Minecraft manhunt AU, with a fantasy twist. Dream is a cryptid, and Hunters are idiots.

multi-chapter (11), complete.

tea’s fic!! a manhunt-with-plot fic, featuring a forest spirit dream and circumstantial hunters and friendships that feel both intensely real and desperately melancholy because they can’t last.

or can they?

The Real World by Cinammonzoa and Fire_Fly464

"Ten, paces fire!"

Time stopped.

Tommy’s entire body went numb. He tried to open his mouth to say something, but his body was determined to keep him silent. His vision went dark, and he could no longer feel his headphones over his ears. The mouse in his hand. The slight breeze of his ceiling fan. For a few seconds, he couldn’t feel anything.

His senses came back to him all at once. The first thing Tommy noticed was the weight in his right hand -- a bow. His nostrils stung with the lingering scent of gunpowder. In front of him was a masked figure. Their right arm was bent, their elbow by their face. In their left hand was a bow, aiming directly at--

~~~

Aka Dream and Tommy get transported into the SMP world and have no idea what the fuck is happening

multi-chapter (23), complete

you’ve probably seen this one if you haunt the video blogging rpf/minecraft tags of ao3 often! an irl!dream and tommy replace their smp counterparts type of beat, very upbeat in dynamic and fun to keep pace with, great read.

staying alive (though the city is dead) by Alice_Not_In_Wonderland

"Damned if you do, damned if you don't," Schlatt smirks, his words lilting, almost song-like. His eyes seem to glow brighter. "Tell me, Dream, when did you realize that you could talk and talk and talk and no one would ever believe you?"

---

or: if dream's damned to be a villain in every story he's in, then he's going to show them exactly how much of one he can be

one-shot, complete.

the gratuitous greek mythology references are truly everything and this fic is such a good dissection of dream and schlatt’s motivations and how their goals intersect, and dream’s likening to cassandra really hits different

Green & Gold by HognoseSnake

George’s legs ached.

His lungs felt tight and too small.

His breath was loud in his ears.

His pack bounced uncomfortably on his shoulders.

George, homeless and adrift, is an outlaw of the Mad King's reign. He'd spent the last two months being hunted across the wilderness at the fringe of society by a ruthless killer in a smiling mask and bright green coat. This, he understood.

What he didn't understand is why such a ruthless killer kept letting him go.

multi-chapter (8), complete. sequel ongoing.

a breathtaking pseudo-manhunt-with-plot fic, with george and dream running from a kingdom that wants them dead for perceived transgressions. this shit hurted, and the sequel hurts even worse ;-; snake please i beg

We’re Only Young series by ImperialKatwala

It's easy to forget amid the chaos and bloodshed how similar - and how young - Dream and Technoblade really are.

collection of both one-shots and ongoing multi-chapter fics.

((bangs on table)) please read this series it is dream and techno friendship fics that alternate between lighthearted and heartwrenchingly comforting and imperialkatwala’s characterisation of them and their respective groups of family and friends is so frickin’ good i read this series when i’m not having a good day and it never fails to make me crack a smile

kept promises and old ruins and names carved into stone by verecundiam

"Would you... would you want to stay here?" Bad wrings his hands, looking away. "Like, like actually stay? I know it's not, ah, not exactly comfortable, or all that homey, but I don't want you two to get hurt out there on your own, and I just... I think maybe you could stay? If you want?"

"That sounds nice," Sapnap says, because it does.

(Or: How four kids managed to build a family, against all odds.)

one-shot, complete.

muffinteers found family that makes me want to go to the smp writers and beg it to be made canon. unbelievably soft yet excellent at parsing out the younger counterparts of the four and creating backgrounds that feasibly form them into the people they grow up to be.

in the age of icons by BananasofThorns

“Yeah, keep digging,” Tommy crows.

The pickaxe hesitates on the downswing. The air shifts; Dream’s aura bursts into visibility, brilliant green and jagged. Ozone hums on Techno’s tongue and Bad stutters in the middle of his sentence. Up on the wall, silhouetted by the sun, Dream stands frozen and furious.

L'manberg messes with something it shouldn't. Techno watches the repercussions and tries not to laugh.

one-shot, complete.

i love deity aus (figures, i wrote one myself akjdfh), and this one hits. there’s something exquisitely delicate about how dream and the repercussions his godhood both on himself and on the people who are exposed to him in that moment of unbridled rage.

that's how we keep going (we make the best of things) by lieyuu

[ i can’t decide if this is heaven or hell. the walls keep closing in and we’re running out of space, but you’re pretty cute ]

“So, do you want to build a flower shop, a cottage, or a coffee shop?” Puffy asks, smiling like just Niki’s presence is enough to light up her world.

Niki looks at her, thinks, I want to bend nature to my will and weave tapestries in your name, says, “I think I might like the flower shop best.”

one-shot, complete.

a niki/puffy fic that crushed me in its hands in just six hundred words. the delicate love and wonder and beauty of this fic killed me softly and i welcomed it. it’s girls in love rendered by lieyuu’s masterful hand, what more could you want

i need it to be known that as i was typing up my thoughts midnight love by girl in red started playing from my playlist if that’s not a shining endorsement i don’t know what is

did i ruin the moment? by itisjosh

Ranboo drags himself through the snow, burn wounds going up and down his body. His suit is crumpled, half of it discarded as he crawls along the ground. His eyes are firmly pressed shut, and he refuses to open them, just in case he sees him, Dream, again. Ranboo sobs as the snow melts on his skin, the water scalding him as it trickles down his arms and chest.

one-shot, complete.

it’s character death, i do need to put it out there because it felt like i was punched in the stomach at the end even though i knew. josh knows exactly how to drag his readers kicking and screaming into angst hell, as always - a ranboo is rescued by phil fic wherein ranboo ends up convincing himself that the only reason for his presence in the nearly-empty anarchist commune is because phil sees him as a placeholder for his sons ;-; pain

Frame The Halves, And Call Them Brothers by MusicallyActive

"Let's go!" Quackity roared. "Let's fucking go!"

The anvil dropped, and Techno reached for his totem of undying. This was going to hurt like a bitch.

Phil screamed something, and instantly a crushing force struck Technoblade's skull. It rattled him to the core, doused his vision in red, and then all he knew was black.

He gasped awake moments later to the sound of his communicator pinging softly at his bedside table, and when Technoblade opened his eyes, New L'manburg was nowhere in sight.

one-shot, complete.

a techno timeloop fic that shows off the unintentional cruelty of the children who run l’manberg and techno’s own inability to allow the people he tries so hard not to love to come to harm. techno’s rendered in painstaking detail; this one was cathartic in the best way.

on i go (move to move) by Aenqa

If you ask someone whether they’ve ever experienced real, severe physical pain, you’ll learn a lot from their response.

Techno knows what it means to be in pain. He’s accepted it as a necessary consequence of keeping his family safe. But when the pain he's experiencing starts to become too much to bear alone, it takes his family to show him what it might mean to feel better.

one-shot, complete.

chronic pain fic featuring sbi!! it’s really good - aenqa wrote chronic pain well, and incorporated respawn mechanics into it well, and the dynamic between sbi is impeccable.

Yellow and Blue and- by nic_takes_Ls (nic_L)

It’s another gorgeous day in New L’Manberg. Tubbo’s stilted streets of deep toned spruce and honey-touched oaks are warm under his feet from the sun, and a sign and a small banner proclaim the country’s name in front of his face. Wilbur is so happy to let the ‘L’ roll of his tongue as he says it, ‘Manberg’ was harsh and too guttural, but the two extra syllables make it something that could fit on a melody, a four-note beat he could set the pace of his unbeating heart to.

The citizens of New L’Manberg track him with cautious eyes at first, until Tubbo changes his eyes to slightly sad ones, listening along to Wilbur’s rambles, warming up to the truly soot-grey sight of his face and sunshine yellow of his ever-present sweater. The rest of the population soon follow, laughing at Wilbur’s strange innocence and telling him what he’s done with only a little bit of spite in a pitying mask and fixing their mouths in a line when he suddenly forgets what he’s doing or stares into space or laughs at nothing.

But all the people who get sad when Wilbur starts laughing after shock-still silence are dumb.

Because Wilbur’s not laughing at nothing.

one-shot, complete.

a ghostbur fic from quite early on! it includes references to wilbur and schlatt’s older videos/smp experiences and has a super interesting take on the nature of wilbur’s amnesia i enjoyed this fic a lot ^^

east of eden series by subwaywalls

Philza protects his home.

(An angel with a singing blade of fire guards the gates to paradise.)

two one-shots, one ongoing multi-chapter fic.

READ IT READ IT READ IT. the eoe series is exquisite in both content and presentation, centering around sbi and the powers they all respectively have but also bringing in people like grian and dream, and subwaywalls is a master of packaging her words ever so delicately to create an experience that is ethereal.

#long post #fic recs #chrys rambles #asks

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reineyday · 3 years

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some feelings abt touya and bnha 302 in general! (long post)

jesus this whooooole chapter makes me so so so sad for touya, like he's canonically a crier and i just have all these images now of him crying off to the side while enji looks at his other kids and gives them the time of day. knowing that he was/is a frustrated crier makes the fact that dabi cant cry cuz of his burned tear ducts that much sadder ohhman

one of the things i cant get over is how touya was SO shunned by his dad that when he went to go tell enji about his fire turning from red to blue, he says "i might be as awesome as shouto sooner or later!" like?? this boy is 13 and shouto is 5 yet he's talking like the brother that's eight years younger than him is better than him and thar it's just a fact. the sky is blue, enji wants to beat all might one day, and shouto is better than the rest of his siblings. nevermind that he's only five and just wants to play with his siblings (and dont even mention to me how shouto says he wants to play with "touya and them" cuz im gonna fucking cry abt it. like even though touya's accepted he's bottom of the ladder in this family, shouto clearly wants some sort of acknowledgement from his older siblings and especially his older brother. IM FVCKN SOBBN). enji has made it clear in this family that shouto was what he was looking for and everyone else is not as important, and i knew this from shouto's pov but it's kinda wild to see it implied so casually in touya's words.

"you'll be glad you created me! i just know it!" HOLY SHIT. god my heart. oh my fuck. literally all enji had to do was show up to the fucking mountain, and he couldnt even do that? what the hell?? your son asks you to go to the mountain, you tell your wife not to let him go traim but she said she couldnt stop him, and instead of going yourself to make sure he's okay and BECAUSE HE ASKED YOU TO COME (and with an actually valid reason, no less! fire changing colour is kind of a big fucking deal!!!) you just?? let him go and let him stay there??? my god the amount of times touya must have burned himself and the trees with tears in his eyes. ahhhHHH!!!

what kills me (and touya too soon?) was that we thought before the back story started that enji forced touya to train till he burned up. then when 290 came out--and definitely after 301--we thought maybe touya overtrained himself and burned up. and sure, he was definitely overtraining, but to find out that the burns that "killed" him started just bc he was crying so much he lost control and didnt know how to ease up on his flames? he was upset and literally trying to get himself to stop crying, and then he just set himself aflame and burned up cuz of all his emotions??? that HURTS. holy fuck.

i cant believe natsuo's feeling lowkey guilty for not socking enji in the face like he wasnt EIGHT???? and let's be real, enji woukdnt have fucking listened to natsuo telling him to talk to touya--he already wasnt listening when touya would straight up say "look at me" and when even rei said touya just wanted enji to look at him and notice him. listen, i know sometimes miscommunications happen in families and children are embarrassed to admit they want attention and so their parents remain unaware that theyre not giving their kid something they want, but touya was as clear as can be on MANY occasions, and even rei agreed touya needed the attention and enji just wasnt listening.

also i know there was discourse abt touya being sexist by telling natsu that "the women in this house are good for nothing" and mb it was partly diff translations cuz i feel like saying "this house" makes it specific to rei and yumi instead of all women everywhere, but even disregarding that--i think it's a valid thought for him to have when rei wasnt standing up for him (where he could see, at least) and yumi admitted herself that she was too scared to interfere and so just tried to fix things and keep appearances. i feel like based on what touya's seen from them, it makes sense that he has that opinion. (also gonna mention that i think rei's and yumi's choices also make sense and i think they were valid, seeing as how they were afraid as well.)

and poor natsu being woken up in the middle of the night (what was implied to be often enough, esp cuz it seemed they share a room and their futons are close) bc of touya's pain. that's a lot of emotional responsibility for an eight year old, and it is also so sad that at 13, touya didnt have anyone else to turn to but his kid brother. at 13, i remember being fully aware of the distinction in maturity between an 8 year old and myself, and it sucks that touya couldnt go to anyone but a younger child with all his pain. i bet yumi being too scared to interfere translated to touya as "she wouldnt help me" and thats another reason he didnt go to the 2nd oldest when he needed to vent. (also not related to this but how the FUCK was natsuo so tall at 8 years old? wh a t)

this chapter. this fucking chapter. my heart aches for touya, and it's just such a huge fucking shame he didnt get the attention and validation and support he needed. there must have been workarounds so that touya could safely use his quirk. there weere DEFINITELY better ways to support your son through a self-destructive quirk, ways that involved actually being there and seeing him. i feel like if someone showed him the attention he needed and talked him through how to better control his emotions (and by extension, his flames) and a positive and healthy way, he could have been someone so great. and if he ever learned how to set aside the way he felt infefior to shouto and saw that shouto just wanted to play with his cool older siblings, it might have been really beneficial to see that there was someone there who thinks he's cool and gave him attention just bc he was an older brother, who needed him when everyone else in the househild didnt seem to need him.

and lastly, the fact that the chapter ends with rei saying that shouto is the family hero and that shouto will have to face dabi?? and it makes me angry that shouto has to take on that responsibility. that he was five and suffering for things he wasnt even a part of, couldnt be properly aware of, bc he was so young. he just saw that he was separated from his siblings and that his dad bullied his mom, then grew up shouldering enji's heavy goals and high expectations and abusive training alongside the barely-there memories of his older brother who died (i say barely there bc if natsu didnt even know shouto liked cold soba, shouto was definitely not around enough to have solid memories of touya before he "died"), and now he has to do the emotional labour of fighting his villain brother (who i bet shouto lowkey empathizes with when he thinks abt it late at night) as well as suffer the physical consequences of that agni kai. and it makes me angry that he has to do that, bc he's a Good Guy and he probably feels he has some sort of filial and familial responsibility. he's only 16. he just wanted to play with touya and them, and now he has to deal with this horse shit dabi's causing cuz his dad's an emotionally neglecting asshat who couldnt see past his dumb fucking ego until he saw shouto play with a bunch of kids during shou's remedial exam a decade after his eldest son burned himself to death. what the fuckety fuck.

lastly, since we saw touya burn uo the way he did... did he really just like... burn so much his jaw fell off, and that's how they found the jawbone? cuz holy hot (BURNING too soon???) damn that must have been painful as all hell. i wonder if next chapter we get to see if someone found touya at the park and helped him out and sorted out the jaw bone thing, or if we finally get to see if deku wakes up lol.

anyways this chapter hurt my heart big time, and i kinda wanna draw kid touya crying while being overlooked by his family to let out some of those feelings but we'll see.

and i still stand by my idealistic and naively optimistic hope that dabi gets redeemed and they soend some actually time together as a family (without enji. or at least, with an enji that has apologized to touya in seiza. like, forehead-to-floor apologize.)

does this hope sort out how dabi redeems himself, seeing as how he's murdered people in cold blood and shouldnt be excused for that bc those actions are also inarguably terrible? no. not sure how he could redeem himself for that kinda stuff honestly, but it doesnt mean i dont still somehow want the todoroki sibs to get along, cuz im weak for mending families.

also id like to send a huge kudos out into the world to rei todoroki for being firm for once and for also not running away from her mistakes like her asshole husband has been. i really admire and respect that. she was afraid and being abused, but now that she's been away from enji and has had time to heal, now that her and shouto are in the mend and she's seen that her eldest son is alive and a villain, she's a place where she can acknowledge that even though she was a victim too, she played a part in touya's emotional neglect and she's taking responsibility and that speaks to some incredible fucking strength. damn.

i hope one day that dabi realizes the same in regards to his mother and natsuo, who shouldered a lot of his emotional pain and suffered the consequences of his outbursts (even though his emotions are valid and his outbursts understandable, he still hurt rei and put a lot of pressure on natsu), and i also hope he sees that for all that he hates his father, his whole existence revolves around enji and it's a shitty place to be (and then he'll have ANGST abt it and that shit will be!! so good!!!)

yeah i think those were all my feelings. i had so many lol. their family situation is so difficult, i hope they all turn out okay and alive and healing.

oh i guess i also wanted to say that i kept calling enji an asshat and asshole cuz he was for sure, but i still think his redemption is valid and im glad he's taking those steps to be a better person by being a better father. i dont know if id want his family to forgive him for all that horrible shit he put them through (im personally hoping that no matter what anyone else does, natsuo will choose to to cooperate in the healing of his family as a unit but will never forgive enji) but i think it's good of people to try to be better than they were yesterday regardless of whether or not they get forgiveness. i dont personally like enji, but i dont hate that he's getting a redemption. i just hope it's a redemption that makes sense and forces him to put in the work, and isnt something like a death sacrifice for shouto or dabi. i want him to be alive and i want his redemption process to hurt like a fucking bitch while he forces himself to make better choices and be a better person, cuz redemption isnt supposed to be easy in the slightest. i GUESS all the crying he did in 302 was a good start.

anyways, if for some reason you read all the way down to the bottom--hello! and thanks for reading haha. cheers! :)))

#rei rambles #bnha #bnha 302 #todorokis #todoroki touya

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thelordstears · 3 years

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I present, more fick fack fookin’ writing. Enjoy you gremlins

"I wish my mind wasn't an abuser. But here I am allowing abuse of self. My mind is a den of wolves, tearing into every good memory I ever had, making a feast out of misery, how could I ever be whole when the world's broken me down to dust?” - Pamela Northutt

“ You wouldn't believe the things I've seen, the hell I've been through, you would say I stole it straight from a fictitious novel, but no, reality is often darker then fiction ever could be.” - Pamela Northutt

“ I'm nothing but barebones and thoughts of self harm, I'd walk into a den of lions if it meant I could find peace. The lions could tear into me, and still it'd be better than what my thoughts do to me. Because maybe, finally I'd be able to rest.” - Pamela Northutt

“ I don't need a metaphor to explain this pain, but it seems it's all people understand these days. You could say, "I'm hurting, and I don't know how to fix it." And yet people wouldn't believe you, they say you're crying wolf, you have every reason to be happy, so be happy.” - Pamela Northutt

"The truth stings as a bullet wound would. Because often, it's what'll kill a man. Ya know, I heard of this plant, once, the Gympie-Gympie, it's sting is so bad, that it leads horses to leap off of cliffsides, now the only thing that has that affect on humanity, is the truth.” - Ewan Hanstammer

“ I've watched men pull the trigger because they learned the truth, they learned their wives were having affairs, or a family secret that lead them down a rabbit hole, but they were never Alice, and this was never Wonderland, it was simply reality, and isn't that what makes it oh so frightening?” - Ewan Hanstammer

“ All it takes to unravel a life is a single bullet, and all it takes to kill a man is a single word.” - Ewan Hanstammer

“ Man kind is doomed to swallow lies, because they just know the truth is just as lethal as the electric chair.” - Ewan Hanstammer

“ I'd plead to the Heavens, but all that ever got me was a coupl'a thoughts from my own damn skull.” - Joey Broker

“ They say it's all apart of God's plan, then what is the end goal of all this pain? Is it supposed to make me stronger? Cause all I feel is weakness trickling through my damn veins.” - Joey Broker

“ If I was given a gun, and was told to shoot the man who undid me, I'd cock my pistol and go forth into the unknown with the intent of pulling the trigger twice. Once against his skull, once against mine.” - Joey Broker

"My heart bares as many tragedies as the night owns stars.” - Connie Averfollow

“ All I can do is lay here and remember, by God do I wish I could forget them but I can't, by God I fucking can't.” - Connie Averfollow

“ I suppose I had Rosita for a wonderful twenty three years, but these fifteen years without her is what hurts.” - Connie Averfollow

"I'll say sorry for all I've done, if only it would change a damn thing." - Connie Averfollow

"I am missing, because who you knew is just another portrait slapped onto a carton of milk and forgotten the next day.” - Harry Downsworth

“ I gave the devil her dance, twirled underneath the flames of my childhood innocence, and now here I am helpless and left for dead in my own damn skin.” - Harry Downsworth

“ I'm a haunted memory of what's forgotten by the world, but always remembered by me.” - Harry Downsworth

“ Where once the sun shone bright and I could see every color my eyes could perceive, now I see the world in black and white. Because I suppose I'm the absence of light, because all I can feel is darkness.” - Harry Downsworth

"My heart is ruled by a blood thirsty wolf whom prowls underneath the moon and asks only one question. How doth I hunt in a world where hunters are condemned?” - Oskirrith Boncoat

“ I find the world works in strange and mysterious ways, one can kill to survive, and yet find damnation, but another man can kill to protect his family, his country, and be called honorable. There's no in-between.” - Oskirrith Boncoat

“ I bare bloodstained fangs and howl at the crimson moon, because that's all a wolf can do, really. He can deny his instincts, his inner nature, but all he'll do is starve.” - Oskirrith Boncoat

“ This world was made for those with ill intentions and unholy desires. I'll send you to your God howling, but I'll go to mine bloodstained.” - Oskirrith Boncoat

"Can't claim you're fighting for peace when you load your rifle with death. But that's all the world ever does, forces us into impossible situations and expects us to choose.” - Santos Valos

“ I've got my scars on this battered heart of mine, I hold them close, because they're what keeps me going. I won't go down without a fight, if I'm to go down, it'll be spitting my blood and baring my fangs. If I'm to die, it's to protect my damn sister.” - Santos Valos

"I'm a bloodstained lullaby flyin' on crimson wings. All I got left these days, is the thought'a revenge, and I ask da question, does that make me cruel or broken?” - Adelaide Debbens

“ He was me guidin' light, 'e gave me the world with the smile 'e'd give me, and now dat I don't 'ave 'im, I don't have the world, mate. I have nothin' but me damn gun and a sin on me fuckin' mind.” - Adelaide Debbens

“ 'E had no reason ta kill my love, but I 'ave plenty'a damn reason ta kill him.” - Adelaide Debbens

“ I don't need a gun ta take back what's mine, just a dagger and me damn wit.” - Adelaide Debbens

"These days, being yourself is a damnable offense.” - Charlie Holyman

“ I could hold onto my faith in God, but is that the crucifix I carry on this scarred back of mine? I'm whipped and bloody from this world's abuse, been through things no woman should have to see and tried to hold onto this faith I got, but holding onto something that's already lost is a dangerous game. It's just like playing Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun, you're doomed to lose.” - Charlie Holyman

“ You're the forbidden fruit in the garden of Eden and still I would take you. It might be a sin to love that woman, but I've lived a life of it and I imagine one more sin doesn't change my destination.” - Charlie Holyman

“ I could run from all this pain, but it'll always catch up to me. No matter what way I put it, I'm doomed to this sorrow, because it's a piece of me. Perhaps I'm bad natured or just looking for a way to cope, but I'm sorry. Cause I suppose losing oneself is the human condition, and I'm coughing up myself." - Charlie Holyman

"The world shoved a blade in my hands and told me to fight when I was only a child. And so I went to war, fought in a quaint little ghost town filled with secrets and unheard prayers, I suppose when the Lord can't hear you scream, all you can do is go hoarse.” - Eliskira Waters

“ I brandish my blade with pride, I've bared the markings of battle since I was twelve. I speak a foreign language of violence, my accent is a tangy iron, and my vowels are the clashing of metal.” - Eliskira Waters

"The sirens sing a bloodshot lullaby, I've followed them time after time, because when the one you love's life is on the line, you'd steer your ship into jagged rocks and capsize your own boat. And so I have drowned for her, not in the sense that I am dead, just in the sense that I'm not the same woman she married.” - Dove Patchens

“ I'm surrounded by love, but I fear if my darkest secrets tore their way out of my throat, they would choke on the darkness I keep inside of me.” - Dove Patchens

“ I couldn't possibly be my namesake, my father named me Dove, because he believed I would fly free. But here I am, in a little birdcage, believing this is what it's like to be free. As a man once said, a bird born in captivity will think flight is a crime. But alas, alas, it's freedom, and the key is nothing but an illusion I can't reach. I'm a dove trapped in a cage of misery, believing it to be peace." - Dove Patchens

"Despite da daggers in me back and da scars on me 'eart, I stand tall through da bleedin' if only ta protect me damn family. I 'ave spent me whole life protectin' what I got, I dun't fink aboot wot I dun't 'ave, because dat'll only distract me from da present.” - Pearl Joy

“ I dun't knu wot happened ta 'im, but I can only 'ope 'e finds peace, in 'is mind, in 'is life, and hopefully death isn't da only cure ta 'is pain.” - Pearl Joy

“ Me family is da only reason I'm 'ere, dey love me, dey support me and I'll always brandish a spear and me fangs when push comes ta fookin' shove.” - Pearl Joy

"I've been ashes before. How could I ever remain the same after I burned in the fire of who I am? The way I howled and shrieked as I was damned rings in my mind, and perhaps, I should've stayed in the dark abyss.” - Eldridge Wolfmoon

“ Somedays I wish I was still dead because at least I didn't have to deal with life. By God, isn't it so much easier to be dead than alive? I was a floating nothing in an abyss, for I would always choose nothing, over something.” - Eldridge Wolfmoon

“ This world is wicked in nature, no wonder the roses have thorns and the berries are poisonous.” - Eldridge Wolfmoon

“ I fall asleep and see only flame, my death haunts me. I am my own ghost, haunting the halls of my own mind I am the fly amongst spiders and always wonder why it is I caught in the web. I'm standing stagnant, because I'm so stuck in the past, I can't live with my death, it was supposed to be the end, so why am I still here?” - Eldridge Wolfmoon

“ You may never right your wrongs, only accept them.” - Eldridge Wolfmoon

“ "'Eavy is da burden 'a my sins, but 'ere I lay, crushed by da damn weight.” - Arnold Schull

“ I've been a bloody rippa' since da age'a fifteen, covered in the blood of boys doomed ta early graves. I'm a bloodstained wolf, me claws covered in crimson and me 'eart a pitch black lagoon'a sins yet ta be committed.” - Arnold Schull

“ I don't want redemption, I don't want forgiveness nor love, nor anythin'a the damn sort. I just want some damn rest, mate. But 'ere I am, fightin' for me life and sinnin' as if there were no damn tomorrow. And if I continue on dis path, there won't be.” - Arnold Schull

“ I'm a broken commandment, God said thou shalt not kill, and so I killed the good man I were. God said thou shalt not steal and so I ripped me still beatin' heart from my chest and watched it drip the darkest shade'a black.” - Arnold Schull

“ I seek guidance, but alas I am given a candle with no flame, the wax already dripping down my fingers, and I must tread forward with no light to guide my way.” - Salvatore Broker

“ All my life I have read from the words of God, but it's often I ponder on if I read all the wrong words, perhaps I've always been in the Devil's trap and just never once knew of it. Do you think rats in mazes know they're an experiment? I would be no different, I could be chasing dead ends and think I'm free.” - Salvatore Broker

“ I spit what I believe to be the truth to those in the pews, not realizing all that came from my lips was venom.” - Salvatore Broker

“ I've been scarred, pushed down and made ta put down those I called brotha'. But I stand tall despite that, I can't let the past be a burden, I can't let the future be a tragedy.” - Alejandro Schull

“ My son 'as fallen far, but I think, if he only realized his heart was never black, just broken, he could get back up.” - Alejandro Schull

“ I'm a soldier, I've got me daggers on stand by, but my heart will never be cast aside so I may get something done. If I am to kill a man, I deserve ta feel the after affects.” - Alejandro Schull

"I am a prison warden watching over his own cell. It seems no matter how hard I try I can not escape this prison of myself, because a man who doesn't have hope can't escape a situation he put himself in.” - Christian Holden

“ I suppose I have to raise my pistol and fight, because this new world is a war even if my whole life's been a battlefield. So I'll raise a glass to the broken world, down my poison of choice and head right into battle.” - Christian Holden

"I'm a wayfaring stranger of my own heart and soul. Because nowadays, I don't even know myself.” - Andrea Maywill

“ How am I to hold onto my past when it's the very thing that breaks me down to tears?” - Andrea Maywill

“ Don't trust a survivor until you know what they had to do to become one. I wouldn't trust myself if I was a stranger, and isn't that the saddest thing, to not trust yourself?” - Andrea Maywill

“ I'd say I regret my actions, but I'm alive, aren't I? If I hadn't killed those men, I would be dead, my sister would be dead and my promise would be broken.” - Andrea Maywill

"Knowledge is a weapon. And so I use it as a bullet. I can make truths into lies and lies into truth, I am a man of many tricks, I'm a puppeteer cutting strings to marionettes that no longer hold any use to me. Life is invaluable when faced against the grand scheme of things, you're one cog in my catastrophic master plan. You're one piece on my board of pawns, everyone I hold power over is a Queen's Gambit. You could cry out "Stalemate! Stalemate!" But I'd watch you charge recklessly into battle and die for a cause you never once believed in.” - Remington Burlwitz

“ I have no care for who you are, just what you can do for me.” - Remington Burlwitz

“ Every cold case has one thing in common, someone knows the truth. Would you like me to know the truth of yours?” - Remington Burlwitz

“ I'm everything people warn you about, the boogeyman, the tall dark stranger your mother tells you to stray away from. I'm an urban legend come to life, beware the myth based in reality." - Remington Burlwitz

"They've always said night time is when the soul is at the most peace. I find this untrue, how else do you think monsters come to be?" - Remington Burlwitz

"I'm the ghost of Evergreen's Bay, where I go, cold shadows follow and death coils around the surrounding area like a creeper vine snaking up a mansion of former riches." - Remington Burlwitz

“ I've asked for forgiveness a thousand times, and I'll ask a thousand more, because perhaps one day, someone will hear my sorrowful tale and say, "You poor soul, you are forgiven for all you've done." - Joshua Schanahost

“ I've never been a devil, no one really is, we're all humans, you could come up with a hundred metaphors to describe the actions of people, but all it ever does is make a story out of murder.” - Joshua Schanahost

“ How could we ever be perfect if we never knew the definition?” - Joshua Schanahost

“ I am not the victim here, but I am not the one who should be blamed for this bloodshed. There's a snake in the garden and he's pitting us against each other, if only we could see the decisions of one man can lead to catastrophe.” - Joshua Schanahost

“ I got sins on my mind and revenge on my got damn agenda.” - Chase North

“ We all got a breakin' point, and life found mine.” - Chase North

“ I can tell you I'm a good man lookin' for a reason ta cling on, but I'm not. I'm just a bad hombre with a pistol and a death wish.” - Chase North

"Isn't it a strange feeling, to miss yourself? I've tried hard to find who I am, but all I find is the past, I suppose I'm just a memory, these days.” - Karrassa Diabaso

“ My scars shall never bleed golden, they'll never make me stronger.. they'll only ever break me down and force me to remember, I haven't lived, not truly.” - Karrassa Diabaso

“ I'm a cruel being, living off of the dying cries of other's, I've hunted people down in forests where they'd be buried, ripped into young women with a dagger and cruel intent, how could you possibly call me anything other than a wolf?” - Mason Miedan

“ Life is a cruel game of choices, and it just so happens we're all victims of it. There are no losers or winners, all we can do is play until our life flashes before our eyes.” - Mason Miedan

“ My father has always said life is a series of choices, and if I'm still alive I must've made all the right ones.” - Mason Miedan

“ My blood lust is unparalleled, some may compare me to Jack the Ripper or the Zodiac, but they're dead and buried, and I'm here. Isn't that what scares you?” - Mason Miedan

“ How am I ta march forward when all I do is look back?” - Weron Jameson

“ Bessie was everythin' I had, her smile lit up my world and made me forget 'bout all the pain and the scars engraved in my mind. But now, I'm gon' have ta get used to livin' without her.” - Weron Jameson

“I see it in my nightmares, Saul's bloodstained bat and Bessie layin' on the ground, her heartbeat still.” - Weron Jameson

“ He thinks he can just bat us around like yarnballs, but he's gonna learn he's in a wolfs den and he's just a little kitten who's curiosity brought him too death's god damn gates.” - Weron Jameson

“ I got a bullet with Saul's name on it, and I'm sure he's got one with mine. But we'll just have ta see who draws quicker.” - Weron Jameson

"You can romanticize life all you want, in all it's bloodshed and tranquility. There's a certain beauty in the way nothing can come of peace if it wasn't fought for. Nothing can be if there was no violence, and I suppose I'm a fine example of that.” - Olympus Woods

“ I've altered many's state of self, twisted their perception of wrong and right and let them lose their minds. I'm a cruel deity, making experiments out of people. But this is for science, sacrifice is required.” - Olympus Woods

“ I've bound up Heaven's steps and found myself in God's throne, after all, I oppose even the simplest of rules. Time opposes all, but it doesn't oppose me.” - Olympus Woods

“ I'm a black rose in a garden of withered daisies and daffodils.” - Olympus Woods

“ I wish to wipe emotion from my slate, but thus far all I've done is clear other's shelves and arranged it with shiny new anger and soft spoken regrets.” - Olympus Woods

“ My wings are shaded black and my heart a shade even darker then the nebula. And so I stare into the abyss, and perhaps I stared too long, because I hath become death." - Olympus Woods

"When life's got you beat, take a deep breath and remember the worst days don't reflect your life, the best days are the ones you'll reminisce over when all seems lost.” - Chris Shaw

“ Love is the glue that holds people together, so in a world filled with hate, drown it out with the sound of your heart beating for another.” - Chris Shaw

“ You don't have to pull triggers and watch men die to be strong, all you have to do is get out of bed and take care of yourself.” - Chris Shaw

"Dese days I'm just a souvenir, a reminder dat good fings end, just a relic 'a Rome. Rome were conquered and burnt ta ash in one day, and I must ask da question, when will I be ash? All I do is fight fo' me life, but do I really got a purpose?” - McCannon Bowitsend

“ I'm followin' da paf' 'a a sinna', so me destination must be Hell. But isn't hell pain repeated ova' and ova' again? And 'ere I am, livin' a life'a pain and nuthin' else.” - McCannon Bowitsend

“ I 'ear the crowd chant me name, once upon a time dat would'a filled me wif' glee, because I'd just earned meself a spot in the championships. But now me name is a death omen ta all who hear it.” - McCannon Bowitsend

“ Uncle McCannon is comin' home, broken or not. I've broken a thousand bones, and I spose I'll break a thousand more. Because me heart beats for me family, and I can't just let em go.” - McCannon Bowitsend

“ I am beautiful with all my battle wounds and heartbreaks.” - Sherine Skidmore

“ I know people think God's abandoned us, but do you not think he weeps for our fates? Do you not think he furrows his brow as the Devil tempts thousands upon thousands of lost souls. There is no Messiah of a broken human race, because we are not broken we are survivors.” - Sherine Skidmore

"I can't find myself if I can't even meet me in the middle. I yearn for a day I can mediate with myself and come to terms with who I am, but all I ever was is a girl hiding from the spotlight.” - Hermione Vallwing

“ The stage rotted beneath me and I fell beneath the planks and boards, I climbed to the scenery and swung from the noose tied upon the painted sun. The crowd whoops and cheers for the girl who swung, because to them it's all part of the act.” - Hermione Vallwing

“ I wanna burn this theater down, get rid of these haunted memories, but all I hear is lights, camera! Action! And then my traumas play on repeat, and all I can do is stand behind the camera, watching as the horror unfolds in the screen that resides within my shattered mind.” - Hermione Vallwing

“ Death was never beautiful, and yet the poets wrote of such splendorous scenes and beautiful prose.” - Hermione Vallwing

"My memory is a blank state haze, I can think, but I don't remember. I suppose that's the tragedy of living.” - Pam Maywood

“ All I know is the name I found on a torn yellowed sheet of paper, Pam Maywood, the lost girl, traveling through her own mind finding nothing. I imagine I'm a ghost of my own mind, wandering the halls, trying to find more about this mysterious home I roam.” - Pam Maywood

“ If this is a Labyrinth, I fear the beast inside. Might he have bloodstained fangs and crimson claws? Will he be made up of sorrows I don't remember, or will she be in the mirror with a foggy mind and regret for something she doesn't remember?” - Pam Maywood

“ I see things, and hear whispers in my head, are they perhaps clues to this mystery? Are the things I see a glimpse into who I am? I've seen men fighting to the death that disappear the moment I reach them, I've heard howling on the wind and cackles from the sky. Is my past so demented that I'm only allowed snippets of it?” - Pam Maywood

“ People seem to forget even faked strength is strength, you don't gotta be strong, you just gotta act strong.” - Caldio Pastel

I've been shown the darker side of life, but I'll be damned if the credits roll.” - Caldio Pastel

“ You can't kill me, because I have the one thing you don't have, hope.” - Caldio Pastel

“ I met a beautiful woman who holds my heart, Hermione is strong, even if she doesn't think so. She's everything I ever imagined the woman I'd dance with would be, sometimes she's scared, and that's okay, the world is scary but I'm here for her whenever she needs me. Her traumas play in the screen of her mind on repeat, but whenever a nightmare strikes her down my arms are hers to crawl into.” - Caldio Pastel

“Here I am, fighting in a world that wants to kill me off and roll the credits without a second thought. But the audience claps and cheers for an encore, so I raise my fists and give it my all. Give me a standing ovation for all my efforts to live because I'm here to survive and you won't draw the curtains on me just yet." - Caldio Pastel

"If I had a dollar for everyone I've failed, I'd have thousands in my pockets." - Morston Framstein

"How sad, to be scared of your own thoughts." - Morston Framstein

"I'm a shadow of my father, these days." - Chloe Perwitz

"You can not poison a dream, you're only creating a nightmare." - Treydus Elron

"Your dreams are the world, and there's no limit to what you can do." - Treydus Elron

"I looked for guidance, but all I found was empty bullet casings." - Cormen

"You know. Through all this harsh pain I've been through, I've found even the snow can bring joy." - Ella Leopard

"The world never needed super heroes, just people willing to fight." - Mike Pennington

"My whole world crumbled before me, and all I could say, was goodbye." - Cora Eltivere

"I stared death in the eye, and I'd say I won, but ain't I in the coffin 'a myself?" - Denzel Thievesmire

"The wolf does not cower from the sheep. So why do you stare me down with a pistol and expect me to quiver?" - Vivientos Hallows

"I'm not much a man these days, just'a dog barking at his own tail wishing he could catch what he can never hold." - Cadencia Malrosa

"I am both the rabbit and the wolf, vying for somewhere to burrow, and yearning for bloodstained fang of the man who ruined me." - Wolfetta

"Time flows endlessly as a river, and unfortunately for you, so will your blood." - Morias Doorvensteil

"You know, the world is full of men who want to watch it burn. I suppose I have to be the blizzard that snuffs out the blaze." - Delaura Presha

"I can feel the shadows of my doubt creepin' up my skin." - Dusk Showtella

"I played whimsical tricks to amuse the crowds, and yet I fell victim to a trick of dark intent." - Medora Domeel

"I found as many monsters in the light as I did the dark." - Jerry Winstead

"Am I the vulture who picks from the bones of the dead or the one who hovers around death, and is a warning of things to come?" - Jeremy Vultures

"Seems trouble follows wherever I roam, either I'm death or very unlucky." - Franco Jonwitz

"I watched angels fall from the sky on burning wings and learned what's holy may become damned." - Demalliosa Vanberg

"Be the hero, they say, be the hero. Give me a reason, and I'll burn my cape before your eyes." - Caldwell Ramirez

"They say death before dishonor. So be honorable." - Caldwell Ramirez

"I always knew the dark, brother. It was only a matter of time before even the angler fish in the abyss of my soul's lights blinked out." - Caldwell Ramirez

"I wear a dress of shadows and own a heart the color of the nebula." - Clementine Ashburnum

"The future don't look to promising, guess all I have is hope." - Grifold Hangers

"I've been running from death for so long I'm afraid I became it." - Nathaniel Wessonlock

"I'd say my destination is Hell's gates, but ain't I already there?" - Cal Dunbar

"All it ever took ta make a good man wicked is a little bit of pressure. And I've cracked, sadly enough." - Cormelo Rivendell

"You have to fight for the future if you want to see it. Somedays it's tough, but you just gotta brave through it, after all, if you can survive your past, you can survive your future." - Don Bellzfort

"I've seen what it is war does to men, it makes the best of men wicked and the wickedest of men weep. War breaks all, it would seem, no matter the color'a your heart, it'll break ya." - Valkrane Pernotte

"In a world filled with shadows, one has to learn to become one to survive." - Fox Rivendell

"I've learned to fear everything, because most days it's my fear that keeps my heart beating. I can't be proud, because fear is what left other's hearts still." - Markalos Callenwoods

"I'm a walkin' tragedy, these days." - Julie Forkroad

"I'm up against the world, spose I gotta be a meteor to survive these days." - Garret Crane

"My brother's shadow swallows my light." - Ozzie Ramirez

"The Heavens and Hell are one in the same when faced with a man half Devil half God." - Lazarus Occult

"The world ain't never needed perfect, just doable." - Granville Van Steenburg

"Out of all the things you should hold onto, hold onto your heart the tightest. Because losing your heart will only result in the same cycle that caused yours to stop beating red." - Ted Axel

"The world won't break me down, I have my heart and hope. I suppose in a world filled with shadows, I have to be the light that swallows it." - Veronica Crowell

"I'm too old to cry these days, and too young to die. So what am I to do but run into the war we've waged with nothing but my sins on my tattered sleeve?" - Logan Orencia

"People say the world needs men willing to kill for a righteous cause. But I don't think the world needs killers, it needs fighters, because a soldier knows the word mercy, a killer does not." - Jolt Netz

"Can't find any peace of mind in a world that shows you chaos and chaos only. Suppose the only peace I have is the quiet after an explosion." - Arello Vendesto

"Da world shows ya wot it is ta die while yer still good and breathin'. Spose I can only eva' lower meself inta'a coffin'a me own fear." - Sheamus Soderstrom

"I'll keep runnin' down this path'a broken bones and spilt blood, cause the beast behind me is myself, and I spose I can never escape." - Finn Desandra

"I'm alone with my thoughts, plagued by the wicked touch of my past. I breathe in toxins, and I suppose I'm choking on my own doubts." - Keith Desandra

"My heartbeat is cold, I fear. After all, the world froze and all I'm left with is ice to shovel into my soul." - Darwin Crocker

#writing #author #characterlines #oneliners #characters #dialogue #writinginspiration

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ddellirrious · 4 years

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Calypso is no Goddess...

I don't remember how long it has been. Days? Weeks? Months? It wasn't until i woke up in the hospital that i found out i was rescued, afloat a raft in the middle of a wrecked vessel in the ocean. Miles off course from our original destination. I had been missing for almost two weeks and seem to be the only one who survived the wreck. When reporters ask me what happened to them all i can muster is a shaky voice. "...i don’t know"

That part was true. Though I don’t know what attacked us that night. But i know what it did. And the destruction it caused. We were a crew of thirty chasing an old legend passed down from our families for generations. My mind races on the..thing that took our ship down. The creature had to be at least a couple football fields long. I will never forget the glimpses of it that i saw from the moments when it breached the water. It hit us out of nowhere and seemed to summon a massive storm just before it arrived. It had the body of a long shark, but the torso and head of what i can assume is a mangled human body. Chunks of flesh are missing from the tail and i can see sections of where its just bone. Long, black harpoons jetted out of the beast's back and body some of them older then others. Much. Older. How many years, possibly centuries, worth of hunters has this horrid thing seen. I remember seeing a hood of once again what i can only assume is human flesh stitched and crafted together, it covered the beast's head and stayed on with hooks embedded into the human chest with two holes crudely slashed in the front for this monster to see through. And from what i saw, it look like it was made from more then one human..

I could only watch as this beast tore open the ship like it was nothing and devoured all that it could of my crew. Bodies littered the bloody ocean before sinking into the dark depths below. I tried to scream but i couldn't, every time i tried my lungs would fill with water and i could only cough and sputter before turning my head back up to face it. Those eyes. Those cold, empty dead eyes peering at me through the bloody skin. With each flash of lightning i could just barely make out the shape of its massive head. It stared at me for what felt like an eternity. Why me? Why did it leave me alive yet slaughter the others like cattle? Perhaps as a sick, twisted way to keep this..myth alive? But we were so close! Just what was beyond that ring of water in the horizon? Just out of reach there was a large ring of water pushing everything away. That was our goal. Legend says it's the ocean Goddess Calypso and her island of treasure. It is said to be hidden in an isle surrounded by a circle of waves. We had to go. To find out what was there and if it was real. Once i get let out, i don’t care how, but i am going to find out. The legend not only says a great treasure is in the center. But Calypso herself will grant you one wish. And im going to find it.

I didn’t have to wait long for my answer. A few weeks after, when i was checked out of the hospital i got myself a boat and started traveling the same path that my crew took. It takes me hours but i follow old police ships and coast guard boats to the wreckage of our large ship. I carefully use the large broken hull to my advantage and slip past everyone, thankfully, unseen. I try to hold back what tears i can as i see the faces of my fallen friends floating in the now still waters. This monster took its time with them. Some torn apart. Others were in pieces. The ones he didn't devour he left to die by the waves.

If i am successful then i maybe i can avenge my fallen crew and slay this beast. Maybe i can ask Calypso to bring them back. My mind wonders a bit before i finally see it again. That large ring of water that we were so close to before the storm hit. I pause a moment. Is this the right thing? Should i do this? I grip onto the throttle and shake the doubts and thoughts from my head and rev the boat as fast as she will go to slam against the massive wall of water with great force. The wall proves stronger then i first thought. But i did not come all this way to avenge my friends just to turn around and give up. Pressing down hard on the throttle and with one final push the boat bursts through the wall and to the other side. What i was expecting of a dark, bloody, possible corpse and horror filled waters was actually calm and peaceful. The warm water and the fresh breeze and clear skies, it almost seems like an oasis then the lair of a large man eating beast.

I catch a glimpse of a small island and on that island is a small beach hut. Someone lived here? Among the beast? I felt a small nudge as the boat rested up on the beach, as i step off, the sand feels soft and warm against my feet, the water is crystal clear and seems more like fresh water from a pool then the ocean. As i step up more on the sand i catch a glimpse of a man in the hut, while i cant see his face clearly yet, i can see that he is blonde with hints of orange faded into his hair, he has a more tanned appearance to his skin, like he spends his days in the sun most often. And orange swim trunks. There’s a surfboard under his arm and he looks shocked to see me and my boat. Before i can utter a word the water breaks and the beast itself lunges out of the water and lets out an earsplitting roar of anger. I waste no time in getting to the end of my boat and grabbing a large harpoon gun from it inner chamber. This man must not be aware of the beast and he must be a messenger of Calypso. I have to protect him!

As i raise the gun to the creature, it stares back at me with those same soulless eyes that it gave me on the day it took my friends, my family. A roar of my own escapes my throat and a surge of adrenaline rushes through me to take the killing shot as this fowl beast hovers over me, i aim for the chest and then-

Twack

I feel my vision start to go blurry as blood drips down my face. I whip around to see that the man i was protecting struck me with his surfboard. He looks...angry? Furious even. But...why? Why would he protect this murderous thing?? As my vision darkens i hear him speak.

"How did this one get here calypso? Are you ok love?"

Through fading vision i see the creature nod. This...thing is Calypso? It cant be...Calypso is a goddess. A woman of pure and holy being and she will grant whomever finds her a wish. This cant be her! Its...cant.. I let out a gurgle as i feel its massive blood soaked, clawed hand grab me and start to lift me up to its hideous face and it peels back the skin to expose what it looks like underneath. All i can do is cry as a close my eyes. I failed..i failed them all. And now i have to die for it. I feel the beast's hot breath on me as its gaping maw splits open and i can faintly see two rows of razor sharp teeth, ready to devour me, i utter the only thing i can muster...a small prayer and hope that if there is a god that i will be reborn with my friends...

Calypso is no Goddess...

Calypso...

Is death...

#Spicy #Calypso #story time.#wanted to write something.#spicy is not mine

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desolate-rose · 3 years

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Chapter 9 the outside world part one

So the last two years of agonising and fretting over the ramifications and consequences of my future knowledge, my replacement of the original zelda, the possibility of me dooming an entire world simply by being born, and the inevitability of fate. All of that, for nothing.

I can't implement an essential part of my plan, FOR FOUR YEARS. For the next four years the fate of AN ENTIRE WORLD rests on my tiny three year old shoulders, in making sure my mom survives. But it's fine. Im fine.

It's not like I can do anything about it either. I physically can't learn sealing magic until I'm seven- full stop. There is no way around that restriction. I had asked. Repeatedly. Even researching independently, with what little I could read of my ancestors' journals. Which was a thing apparently. Apparently it was tradition for royals, and nobles to write journals of their lives to help inform their descendants after their death. Neat! But a little awkward to be reading my grandmother's diary, also a lot useless. (apparently my mom had a habit of screaming at operatic volumes when she was a baby, like mother, like daughter!)

If there was one benefit to this information, I at least now have a rough idea of when my mom will die. Yay. (unless of course zelda's lessons were pushed back for some reason, so my info is relatively dubious. yay.)

So now the only facit of my plan I can focus on is making sure my mom stays alive, not like i wasn't going to do that any way but now its just ya know potently world ending. Without any backup plans. Again yay.

So my main mission (or should i call it a quest? I am in zelda after all!) is to keep my mom alive. No sweat.

-that doesn't mean i don't have other goals though! I want to learn everything I can about the culture, history, and MAGIC (ITS ACTUAL MAGIC PEOPLE) of Hyrule. I'm in a whole new world! I want to know everything.

Also magic is REAL! Who wouldn't be fascinated?

I was practically skipping toward the library with dottie at my heels, I had recently found a relatively simple cooking primer that touched upon the subject of the special effects certain ingredients could give. (i could actually almost read it without assistance! progress!) I hadn't got the chance to finish it last night because the adults had this stupid idea that i needed a bed time and that healthy little girls go to bed before eight.

Bha! I am-

….

I was a teenager. And if school taught me anything it was that your education was more important than your mental and physical health! Lives were on the line people! Who knows when i'm going to need this information!

But it was nowhere near bedtime now! And no one! No one was going to stop me from my research!

I stared in abject horror at the empty shelf.

My book! My research! MY ENTERTAINMENT!

Someone had taken my cooking primer and I was devastated. Normally i would move on and find something else to read but this had been the first book that talked about special ingredients that i could sorta understand! I NEEDED more interimentery books to read, they were either too simple or too complex. The middling books that pushed my boundaries without confounding me were Hard to find! At least ones that didn't speak down to the reader or bore me to death.

DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO FIND A PICTURE BOOK THAT ISN'T SOMETHING ALONG THE LINES OF "RED DOG RUN, BLUE SNAIL SLIME!?"

I stomped fuming over to the castle's resident librarian who was deeply engrossed in some thick tome or another, muttering dark curses under my breath and fervently praying it had just been shelved in the wrong section. Ignoring the increasingly worried maid servant trailing behind me.

Taking a deep breath i collected myself and tugged on the old man's long trailing sleeve "mister Tommison do you know where my book is?" I requested politely. I didn't want to alienate my book dealer.

He raised one elegant silver brow and peered down imperiously over his reading glasses. "And which book would that be my dear?" mr. Tommison was a tall, thin, well kept man whose stern intimidating visage could scare troublemakers and chatterboxes out of his library with a single long derisive stare. He was horribly overworked trying to catalog and organise our massive mess of a library and wasn't all that fond of children no matter how important they might be. (honestly the library was a MESS from centuries of collection, mislabeling, misshelving, and to be honestly hoarding every scrap of paper we could get our grubby hands on. we had far too many books for one man to keep track of properly, but he kept the few sections he had under control in meticulous order.) thankfully he had grown a soft spot for me after a few weeks of quite, polite company and careful treatment of his precious books. (at least the few that i could read.)

"Dalias cookbook for the common home, mister Tommison" i replied dutifully carefully enunciating the syllables. mister Tommison was not tolerant of ignorance.

He sniffed derisively "it was checked out by some stupid little squire, he had the gall to come here right after training and tracked mud absolutely every where." my heart sunk. The knight trainees were famous for playing rough with their things and dirtying the castle with mud and other such gunk.

Even I knew that and I really only talked to mister Tommison, granny, spots, mom and dad!

Who knew what sort of condition my poor book would be in when i got it back!

I needed to go talk to this squire about being careful with this book or at least waiting to ruin it until after i got the chance to read over it a few times!

"Thank you for telling me mister Tommison." "of course my dear" he nodded back at me before returning his hawk like gaze to his book. I turned around sharply and headed out of the library.

Now, off to the training grounds to find my book!

…

…..

"Dottie? Where are the training grounds" she muffled a snicker behind me. "This way my lady."

As it turns out the training grounds were on the edge of what would be considered the castle, almost as far away from the library as one could get while staying in the castle grounds.

And as i stood in the door way to the outside world i was starting to feel…

Trepidation.

The sun was hot, the field was loud, and I was standing at a distance in anxiety. It had been years since i had really been in a crowd, since i had really gone outside and interacted with anyone outside of my small circle of family and caretakers. In all honesty i was rather sheltered.

And this was scary.

It was loud, the clash of bodies, the screech of steel against steel, triumphant yells, angry shouts, and the bellow of commanders. Hylian ears are incredibly sensitive and this messy cacophony of violent noise was painful.

My instincts were screaming to hide. to cling to dottie and hide behind the one person I knew was safe. Everyone was so much bigger and stronger than i was. I was fragile, vulnerable, and uncertain. My toddler mind cried for the safety of Dotties skirts. To turn around and-

"I'm just saying it's weird!" a voice broke through my thoughts and drew my attention to two soldiers relaxing in the shade of the wall some distance from the door dottie and i were standing in.

"She's the princess mate, should you really be saying things like that?" a lackadaisical voice replied to the first unknown. "She's three! No three year old should be reading! I have a three year old sibling, she can barely string a complete sentence together! Let alone read! Its freaky mate, I'm telling you!"

I took an involuntary step back and dottie bristled.

"Shes got the blood of the goddess mate, their always doing strange things." the lazy soldier replied barely bothering to glance at his impassioned friend. "I don't hear about the queen being able to read at three. Her majesty's smart, not unnatural!"

Dottie started to move but i caught her skirt preventing her from moving any further

His friend laughed, "you're losing it mate- the future wisdom of Hyrule, too smart? Have you been adding the wrong mushrooms to your stew?" "jerk. You know i'm right! Its weird! What other three year old can read?"

"SOLDERS DOSE THIS LOOK LIKE A TEA PARTY TO YOU?!" the two men startled head swinging toward the approaching commander before freezing like deer in head lights.

"THIS ISN'T SOME SORT OF RELAXING GET AWAY SPOT! THIS IS A JOB- A DUTY! GET YOUR LILY WHITE BUTTS BACK ON THE FIELD AND GET TO WORK ON SOME PUSH UPS"

The first solder spoke up tentatively "how many sir?" "DID I ASK FOR QUESTIONS? YOUR GOING TO KEEP GOING UNTIL I SAY YOU CAN STOP. NOW DROP." "SIR YES SIR"

I turned my eyes to the fuming dottie, "Dottie lets go back inside." "But princess-" "can we just go back inside… please." dottie scooped me up into her arms. Normally i would fuss wanting the independence of being on my own two feet, but right now it just felt good to be held. "Ok. let's go back to your rooms princess. Its about time for your nap any way" she replied with forced cheer.

It wasn't anywhere near nap time but right now i just wanted to sleep.

Also on FanFiction.Net! https://m.fanfiction.net/s/13547505/9/

#botw #princess zelda #zelda #botw fic #botw oc #zelda botw #loz botw #breath of the wild #the advertable inevitability #t.a.i #inevitability

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breathinwordsbreathoutknowledge · 3 years

Text

Merafong’s PSL Hopes looking Favourable in the hands of “General” Papi Dikeledi’s Hands

By: Morena Rex Maboe

Despite the resilient Soccer culture that has existed in Carletonville, and this is inclusive of Khutsong, Fochville and wedela, only a handful of players; if we can even get to 5, have made it to mainstream soccer leagues. This is not without giving credit to the Merafong City Local football Association’s efforts to continually keep the sport alive through their annual leagues, under the stewardship of development Officer Mr. Letlhogonolo Kgarejane, they have produced a number of talent including the one on the spotlight today. A certain Monghezi Bobe’s name might spring up in the conversation about players from the Ville that went pro. The Carletonville-born soccer legend started his professional career at the then North West based Platinum stars in July 2003, spent a good share of his career jumping between Free State Stars and Black Leopards respectively, among other teams he played for. He retired at Black Leopards and managed their reserve side, in midyear 2020 following the departure of head coach Alan Clark, Bobe was named as caretaker coach with colleague Morgan Shivambu, and were instrumental in Leopards surviving relegation last season.

Another maestro worth seeing is coming up in the ranks of the football fraternity, proving to be a force to be reckoned with, definitely if soccer was a person it would be this Khutsong star, from the dusty streets to the flaming roar of people in stadiums crying over his magnificent skill and showboating. If you have not seen him play allow me to say you have not sat at the front row of sports entertainment, you have not witnessed a grabbling genius. I gave him 8 questions to answer for us, letting us into his journey and providing inspiration to other aspiring talent.

1. Name and surname, nicknames

PAPI DIKELEDI (GENERAL, KOP)

2. Short history of where you were born, schools attended where you lived and grew up

I WAS BORN IN KHUTSONG CARLETONVILLE ON THE 31ST OF JAN 2002, ATTENDED MY PRE-SCHOOL AT BABELEGI PRE SCHOOL THEN WENT ON TO DO MY PRIMARY YEARS AT PHORORONG PRIMANY SCHOOL, THIS IS WHERE EVERYTHING STARTED AS I WAS A TOP SPORTS STUDENT AT SCHOOL KNOWN FOR RUNNING AND PLAYING SOCCER, THEN STARTED MY HIGH SCHOOL YEARS IN PRETORIA AT A SCHOOL CALLED ROSINA SEDIBANE MODIBA SPORTS SCHOOL. THIS IS WERE MY TALENT WAS POLISHED AND I BECAME BETTER THEN DURING MY GRADE 10 CAME BACK TO KHUTSONG, I THEN ATTENDED BADIRILE HIGH SCHOOL. AFTER FINISHING MY GRADE 10 I WAS THEN SCOUTED TO PLAY FOR SUPERSPORTS UNITED THAT IS WHEN I WENT BACK TO PRETORIA TO FINISH MY REMAINING YEARS OF SCHOOL AT PHELINDABA SECONDAY SCHOOL IN ATTREGIVILLE PRETORIA

3. Why Soccer, when did it all start;

I STARTED FOOTBALL AT THE AGE OF 8 BECAUSE I HAD A LARGE FAMILY WHICH WAS VERY SPORTS MINDED I WAS INFLUENCED BY MY BROTHERS TO START PLAYING SOCCER I WOULD MAKE SURE THAT I ALWAYS HAVE A SOCCER BALL BY ME SO I CAN PRACTICE MY SKILLS AT NIGHT SO I COULD DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT THE FOLLOWING DAY THIS ALL GRADUATED TO BE SOMETHING THAT WAS MEANT FOR ME. I THINK THEN I MET A PERSON CALLED LEHLONOLO KGAREJANE (COACH MAJEJE),HE PLAYED A BIG ROLE IN PUSHING ME TO WORK HARD BECAUSE HE SAW THE QUALITY THAT I HAD,HE ALWAYS TOLD ME THAT ,"I SHOULD NEVER WORRY IF I WORK HARD NO MATTER HOW HARD THE OBSTACLES ARE I WILL MAKE IT BECAUSE HE SEES FUTURE IN ME" THAT'S WHAT ALWAYS DRIVED ME TO PUSH FOR MORE IN LIFE.

4. Career Highlights Accolades, medals and trophies

AT THE AGE OF 13 I PLAYED A BUILD IT TOURNAMENT MANAGED BY COACH MAJEJE WE WERE CROWNED CHAMPIONS AND I WAS ALSO CROWNED THE BEST PLAYER OF THE TOURNAMENT, WENT ON TO PLAY AT ROSINA SEDIBANE THATS WHEN I WOULD SAY THE REAL ME STARTED, I WAS PUSHED SO HARD THAT ON MY FIRST YEAR I BECAME CAPTAIN OF MY SITE ND THE FIRST TEAM COACH ALWAYS SAW ME PLAY ND AT TIMES WOULD GIVE ME AN OPPORTUNITY TO TRAIN WITH THEM.

IN 2016 I PLAYED A TOURNAMENT CALLED COPA COCA-COLA(U/15) WE WERE CROWNED CHAMPIONS UNDER THE LEADERSHIP OF MR SAMUEL MADITO THEN WENT ON TO PLAY NATIONALS AT FREE STATE WE COULD NOT QUALIFY TO GO FURTHER. WE ALSO PLAYED THE GAUTENG DEVELOPMENT TOURNAMENT WERE WE WERE RUNNERS UP AND MAMELODI SUNDOWNS WAS CROWNED CHAMPIONS. THEN PLAYED SCHOOL TOURNAMENT WHICH WE DOMINATED AND WE WON ALL THE SCHOOLS TOURNAMENTS THAT YEAR. IN 2018 MIDYEAR AFTER PLAYING A TOURNAMENT CALLED FUTURE CHAMPS WITH MY REGIONAL SQUARD OF WEST RAND I THEN STARTED TRAINING WITH (SUPERSPORTS UNITED F.C) WHICH IS VERY PROFESSIONAL WHEN IT COMES TO MANAGING PLAYERS AND MAKING SURE THAT THEY MAKE YOU IMPROVE FOR THE BETTER SO YOU CAN BE THE PLAYER YOU ALWAYS WISHED TO BE IN LIFE. I DONT HAVE ANY ACHIEVEMENTS WITH THEM BUT I PLAYED FEW TOURNAMENTS REPRESENTING THIER BADGE (BAYHILL TOURNAMENT AND ENGEN TOURNAMENT) THEN GRADUETED TO PLAY FOR THE RESERVE TEAM (MULTICHOICE DISKI TEAM) WHICH I THEN PLAYED A FEW GAMES BECAUSE I WAS DOING MY MATRIC.

5. Career goals;

I WOULD LIKE TO SEE MYSELF BEING ONE OF THE BEST PLAYERS THAT WOULD MAKE A DIFFERENCE IN PROMOTING SOUTH AFRICA FOOTBALL ABROAD LIKE PERCY TAU, LEBOHANG PHIRI AND BONGANI ZUNGU. I KNOW IT’S NOT EASY BUT I TRUST MY JOURNEY AND I ALWAYS WORK MYSELF TO BE IN THAT LEVEL.

6. What’s the Experience been like at Supersport?

SUPERSPORTS IS A WELL STRUCTURED TEAM THAT BELIEVES IN PROMOTING FUTURE YOUNGSTERS IN REPRESENTING THE COUNTRY AND MORE. IT HAS GIVEN MANY UNFORTUNATE SOCCER PLAYERS AN OPPORTUNITY TO SHOWCASE THIER TALLENT AND THEN RECRUITED THEM TO PLAY FOR THE TEAM .WE WERE STAYING AT THE CLUBHOUSE IN PRETORIA LAUDIUM WHICH WAS VERY NICE BECAUSE ALL THAT WE NEEDED WAS RANDERD BY THE CLUB WICH MAKES IT SLIGHTLY MORE DIFFERENT THAN ANY OTHER CLUBS. I ENJOYED MY YEARS AT SUPERSPORTS AND I WOULD SAY THAT IT HAS BUILD ME IN BECOMING STRONGER AND BEING OPEN TO HOW A SOCCER CAREER CAN BE TO A PLAYER NOT EASY IF YOU RELAXED.

7. How do you stay fit, what is your workout routine/ training sessions?

I AM ONE PERSON WHO LIKES RUNNING MORE THAN MOST THINGS I ALWAYS MAKE SURE THAT EVEN IF IM NOT THAT FAST BUT MY STAMINA WAS ON A HIGH LEVEL.THIS STARTED IN MY PRIMANY YEARS WHERE I ALWAY PARTICIPATED IN 1200M RACES AND ACROSS CROUNTRY MARATHONS FOR STUDENTS. IT HAS ALWAYS BEING IN MY HEAD THAT I SHOULD NOT LET MY BODY REST UNLESS INTRUSTED BY THE APPROPRIATE PEOPLE TO DO SO.

8. Advice to up and coming talent ;

IN LIFE THERE IS NO TIME TO RELAX, THERS ALOT THAT AWAITS US IN THE NEAR FUTURE. WAKE UP AND START TELLING YOURSELF YOU CAN MAKE IT, I PROMISE YOU THAT WILL BE THE START OF THE GOLDEN YOU. REMEMBER NOTHING COMES EASY IN LIFE SO WORK HARD FOR WHAT YOU WANT THEN LATER WILL BE GREATER.

#AWOKEINWORDS

#MCM

#Breathinwordsbreathoutknowledge

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itsudemoyoshiwara · 7 years

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[RP Log 7/27/2017] FFXIV | Fiore Brunelli

Fiore - Quell - Cedrick

Ala Mhigan Quarter

Quell Tyrbrandr mouth would open to let out a yawn, the two had wandered the small city for a few hours now and would seem to be resting their legs for the moment. Quell looked over to the horned woman, his gold hues inspecting her and then looking upward "...What will you do when you find your emerald dragon slayer?"

Fiore Brunelli looks over to her apparent companion with a start. She'd been staring at the arch at the top of the stairs, filled with dread. As much as she liked being out and about, the atmosphere was... not with good intent. "One would think that an ill placed question for one they'd just met normally, I'd think. Unless you're genuinely curious, miqo'te." Fiore spoke quietly, avoiding eye contact with Quell. He hadn't come off as too friendly on their journey here.

"What if he no longer breathes? Such is the fate of most whom slay the dragons. What if your quest was for naught? Will you pick yourself up and continue on or will you give in on this life?" he asked sounding slightly concerned for the woman whom hired him.

Fiore Brunelli narrows her eyes at Quell. No longer breathes? That man? Nonsense. But even so... "I am not so foolish as to relenquish myself to the earth merely for a man, life-debt or no." She shakes her head, either annoyed or anxious. Possibly both. "The verdant dragoon gave me purpose, aye, but tis not my purpose simply to find him. Hydaelyn is far larger than Eorzea and I recognize that." Fiore Brunelli turns her gaze downward. While he had not been more than a catalyst, she would prefer to think him alive rather than dead. The miqo'te's words stung. She started up the stairs and beckoned to the man behind her. "No man shall be found should we stay here all day. Come."

Quell Tyrbrandr follows quietly! hiding his eyes from the bright sun with his hat

Fiore Brunelli eyes Quell suspiciously. Had she been too harsh? Despite the concern in the man's tone, he had come off as what she was taught to be too forward... "No quips, Quell?"

"Pray, let me remind you that you hired me. The sooner we find this man the faster I can get back to my bottle of ales." he replied quietly, his eyes looking around at the hustle and bustle of the recaptured city and then to Fiore, his eyes locking into hers "Though I cannot say that I have not enjoyed this trip...these lands remind me of my home near the Sangoli Desert."

Fiore Brunelli flinches, a small squeak escaping her lips at Quell's initial response. Maybe she had been to hasty in enlisting his help. She had been wary to hire him in the first place, feeling that he had wanted more worth-while assignments. Her stomach knotted as his eyes found hers, but found herself taking an audiable, deep breath when he spoke again. "And here I thought you one not to speak much of yourself. Curious, that." She continued forward, eyes darting from face to face anxiously.

Quell Tyrbrandr stares at Fiore as she remarked on his thoughts of his makeshift home, he said nothing more and carried onward, a few men bumping into the man as they hurried along telling him to watch where he was going. Quell quietly said nothing and kept following his companion.

Fiore Brunelli took a deep breath to calm herself. The combination of Quell's lack of response and the sheer number of faces within such close distance were overwhelming. Any of these could be that dragoon--her dragoon. She forced Quell's earlier words from her mind and bit her lip. Fiore could not allow herself to be discouraged. "Was that all you had to say?" she asked, shakily.

Quell Tyrbrandr looked at her worry, his face forming a slight frown, he would then annouce loudly "Attention Ala Mhigan people. I am looking for a man, Ala Mhigan, bores emerald armor and a spear. A slayer of Dragons. Would anyone here know of such a man or possible men that have come onto the service of the resistance?" he asked the workers

Fiore Brunelli turns to face her companion, eyes wide with fear. She rushes to his side, grabbing onto his sleeve hurridly. "Are you mad, miqo'te?!" Her eyes dart from face to face, her grip tightening on Quell's attire.

Cedrick Highwind sat here in relative dryness, looking over documents of relative insignificance. Upon hearing the miqo'te speak up loudly, he tried to ignore it before promptly hearing the words 'green armour' and 'dragon slayer'. Huh. He glanced over, looking at them both from over the rims of his reading glasses. A Miqo'te and a... Xaela? That was a rare sight outside the Azim Steppes. He did, however, keep silent. He would just watch them with the stealthiness of a goobbue in a Hingan porcelain shoppe.

"You want your answers you're not going to find them hiding behind a box, in order to garner your goals you must make headway on them." he said as he was tugged by the sleeve, freeing himself and then annoucing loudly again "I ask for a few moments of your time if you feel the need to give information, I am willing to part with some coin as a reward." Quell said no more and would make his way back a bit

Fiore Brunelli felt her stomach drop twenty leagues as Quell continued to raise his voice. She looked around as people turned to stare, her heart rate spiking. The miqo'te had taken the stability of himself physically away from her and she began to panic. "Q-quell... wait!" Fiore squeaked out. Barely. She scrambled behind him, biting her lip. "There are more sublte ways we can handle this, one would think..." The Xaela woman felt much smaller than normal, suddenly, and hiring Quell was beginning to seem more and more liked an ill concieved idea.

Cedrick Highwind took a deep breath before speaking up. "How much coin're we talkin' 'bout, lad?" came the deep tones of Cedrick's cockney accent, raising his hand so they knew exactly whom it was that spoke, while at the same time motioning for them to come closer.

Quell Tyrbrandr as he walked with Fiore having a small meltdown behind him would stop in his tracks "Son i'm a lot older then I look and enough for a meal and possible bed for the night rather then sleeping outside. Ala Mhigo and her citizens have seen enough of that." he's replied to the red haired male that has asked

Fiore Brunelli whipped her head around hard enough to give the poor woman whiplash at the sound of their respondant's voice. Her eyes immediately searched the crowd for the sound, resting on a large hand in the mess. The panic she had felt merely two moments before intensified with a mixture of excitement. Her stomach churned. Fiore Brunelli looked up at Quell, then back to the hand in the crowd and did not wait to push through the mass of workers. As she burst forward, the small Xaela woman stopped not a fulm away. "I'll pay you whatever you want!" The words shot out from her mouth before she could stop herself and suddenly, she felt very conscious of her volume.

Cedrick Highwind cocked his brow, "Calm yer breeches, lass and quieten down. Cum wit me." he stood up, storing the papers he was holding just mere moments ago somewhere on his body. If a glance upon them was cast, you might recognise the Ishgardian seal on it. He turned and made his way over to... a table further back, with three seats, "Hav' a seat, y'two."

Quell Tyrbrandr followed the red haired man to the back where it seemed less loud and out in the open, he was generally curious about what he had to say and what information he had to provide

Fiore Brunelli felt her eyes dart from place to place across this man's large, but familiar back as she followed very hastily behind him. If she bit her lip any harder, she might have drawn blood. He sat and she immediately took a seat at the table across from him, shooting Quell a quick, wide-eyed look full panic and anticipation.

Fiore Brunelli 's eyes fell to her lap after that, and she began to play with the hem of her skirt. A moment passed before she thought to apologize for her previous outburst, but recognized that the moment had passed and sat quietly, waiting for the man to continue.

Cedrick Highwind just glanced between them both, taking off his reading glasses and placing them on the table before them. "I take it yer not jes' lookin' fer a run o' th'mill dragon slayer. Not many o' 'em clad in green." he started, leaning forward, "B'fore I part wit me knowledge, I need ask; Whot is i' ye wont wit 'im?"

"She wants the man. I am just hired to help sniff him out. I'll let her explain rather than I..." he said adjusting himself int to the chair and allowing his sore legs to rest for the moment.

Cedrick Highwind glanced over to the Xaela since the ivory-haired Miqo'te gave his statement.

Fiore Brunelli felt her face redden as she felt the Highlander's gaze upon her. "W-well..." she started, her voice small, "I was looking for a man to whom I owe my life, as to repay him for doing so." The Xaela woman gripped her skirt tightly. "Twas that man who helped me leave the Azim Steppe and see the world, and by association he has given me so many things. As such, I feel a deep need to repay him... So--"

Fiore Brunelli stopped abruptly, finally looking up from her lap and into the face of the man before her. "I had not seen his face, but I will remember his gesture for the rest of my being. I would appreciate it greatly if you could lead me to him... Please."

Fiore Brunelli swallowed hard, feeling too awkward to keep eye contact. She let her eyes fall back to her lap.

Cedrick Highwind leaned back in his seat, closing his eyes and raising a hand to his cheek in quiet contemplation. "Azim Steppes, aye? 'Tis quite th' distance fer a smol thing such as yerself." he muttered mostly to himself. Opening his eyes and letting his green eyes settle upon them both, he spoke up with certain conviction, "I knoe nought of a... verdant dragoon, y'might say, that ain't me seeing as that's whot me comrades in arms call me." he paused, shrugging.

Cedrick Highwind "Sorry fer me deception, y'need understand 'tis tumultuos times in me homeland, aye?"

Quell Tyrbrandr "Then this quest hath come to an end. Your prize awaits." he said looking over to Fiore offering a faint smile before standing himself up and giving the two some space

Fiore Brunelli continued to stare silently at her lap, unsure how to process the information provided to her. Had she heard him correctly? She flinched as Quell left his seat and became extremely conscious of the privacy he had provided the two of them. She lifted her eyes to look upon the man--the verdant dragoon that she had left home for--and bit her lip again. Despite thinking of this moment for quite some time, Fiore was at a loss for words.

Fiore Brunelli turned her gaze to Quell's back, hoping he wouldn't leave her here for long.

Cedrick Highwind just stared at Fiore, who seemed quite... unwilling to do anything but sit there. Cedrick stood up with a sigh and walked over to Quell, "Keep yer coin. Make a random beggar's day wit it." He said to him before starting to leave.

"Ye would leave this woman whom has spent many moons under my watch and guide like chaff in the wind? Nay sir. You will talk with her. She holds you to much accord and respect, she hath done not but sing into thine ear about your deeds and praises. Else i'll put in arrow in your arse lad." he growled as what appeared to look like Cedrick fleeing the scene.

Fiore Brunelli felt the slight pop of her teeth breaking skin as she watched the Dragoon stand from his seat and leave, wordlessly. "Ah--!" She too, stood and pressed her hand to her mouth. He had made his way to Quell, who seemed more agitated than she'd seen him on their journey here. This had gone not at all according to plan. Her stomach lurched again. Fiore was gonna puke. Or pass out. One.

Cedrick Highwind smirked. He cared not for the man's threat. "Sure. I'll listen while I'm doing me paperwork." is all he said as he made his way back to the table, taking out the papers from before as well as putting his glasses back on. He propped some ink and a quill out as well and started writing, "G'on then lass."

Quell Tyrbrandr looked agitated at Cedrick as he sat back down, he shook his head a bit and wandered a bit more away so that they could talk privately, he removed his hat for the moment and sighed.

Fiore Brunelli watched Cedrick as he sat back down, and once again back to Quell as he walked further away. Hopefully he wouldn't go much farther than he had? She turned her attention back to Cedrick after being addressed and sheepishly motioned to the hand she'd used to cover her mouth. "I hope you'll pardon me, uhm... Sir, but I've hurt myself," Fiore managed, her words muffled. "Though I will have to apologize, I'm not sure what to do now that I'm here..."

Cedrick Highwind took a deep breath, placing the paperwork on the table next to the ink and quill, before standing up. He approached the Xaela, and just took her hand and moved it away from her mouth, leaning in closer to inspect it. "Yegads, lass, why'd'ye do this?" he muttered with certain incredulity. He poked it with a finger, a soft wave of curative magicks flowing through to her to mend the skin. "Learned me sum conjury back during me time in Gridania." he explained. "So, whot's this about a debt?" Cedrick Highwind "Who are ye again? S'been like... wot, ten - twenty years since I've been in th' Azim Steppes?" it probably was less.

Fiore Brunelli flinched as Cedrick stood, steeling herself when he drew close. She wasn't sure what made her face burn more, the careless way he moved her hand away or when he touched her lips. Though, nothing about it was much to be worked up over, she had to remind herself. He was simply doing what you ought to have done, had you not been so stupid. By the twelve, his hands were rather large though...

Fiore Brunelli shook her head slightly, and returned her hand to her lips, touching the spot he had healed. "Ah, thank you," she muttered. Her gaze fell downward to nowhere in particular. "I would not expect to you to remember, but you saved my life once. As is per your, uhm... Profession, you slayed a dragon that I had encountered near my home."

Fiore Brunelli took a deep breath and continued, "Although, the sight of you... I had not seen any but my own kind. It inspired me to leave and see everything. For that, I owe you much more than just my physical form."

Cedrick Highwind cocked a brow, "... Are ye tryin'a bed me?" he grunted, going back to his seat to return to his paperwork, "No' that yer no' attractive but, not int'rested." he concluded, pushing his glasses back up, "Glad I could inspire ye though, I guess."

Fiore Brunelli visibly flinched at the mention of... intimacy? Her eyes grew wide and her face much hotter than before. "B-bed you? I beg your pardon? I--" She fanned herself slightly with one hand and cast a quick glance at Quell, who seemed to have dozed off or something. Fiore was more or less alone on this one.

Fiore Brunelli took a deep breath to compose herself and sat herself once more across from Cedrick. "I had not come here with impure intentions, I assure you. I merely wish to provide my servitude to you, should you take it. I could at least do that much, for as much as you have given me in my life since our encounter--though unintentionally."

Cedrick Highwind glanced up from below the rims of his glasses, "Err, look lass. Much as I'd like t'have me a sl--" he caught himself there, "a /servant/ pretty as yerself, I dun' think I did that much. I jes' killed a dragon, aye?"

Fiore Brunelli shook her head with enthusiasm. "Tis not all you did, I promise you! Because of you, I--" her words became more frantic, excited. "I have seen and done so much! I have known many places and people that I never would have, had you not saved me that day. Tis not a matter of simply saving my life, but also giving me one. Tis not an easy debt to repay. It has weighed heavily on me for some many moons, sir."

Cedrick Highwind sighed, "Well, if'n y'insist..." he grumbled, "Jes'... how good are ye at fightin'?" he asked, "Might've sum use for ye in me platoon."

Fiore Brunelli opened her mouth to continue, but stopped herself. Fighting? Mountain-dweller or no, she wasn't of great strength. "I have come a great deal to learn curative magicks myself, sir, but I am not so great in strength. Would your platoon have need of an experienced healer?" She swung her legs uncomfortably against the chair. While prepared to give her life for this man, who's name she still did not know, she would much hate to disappoint.

Cedrick Highwind gave a soft nod, "It'll doe. Chirurgeons are gud but, y'knoe, understaffed. Always good t' have a healer on hand." he paused, glancing at her, "Beg pardon but I dun see a cane or rod on ye?" never heard of scholars, fuck boy?

Fiore Brunelli beamed with delight at Cedrick's ignorance. She herself had felt that feeling a great many times and relished in the chance to educate someone as she had been educated. "You see, sir, I have studied the ways of Nymian scholars. As such, my healing magics are related to, euhm..." She pauses for a moment. "Faeries. I use a tome." Fiore pats the leather bound codex, secured at the small of her back. Fiore Brunelli continues, "I assure you, providing succor to your wounded is no issue."

Cedrick Highwind glanced over, "Ah. One o' them scholars. Rarely see yer kind in Ishgard. We see more o' them Astrowhatsits." he coughed lightly, a certain awkward silence washing over them before he spoke up again, "... Tell me, y'got a place t' live? Otherwise I've got a flat y'can stay in fer the time being." seeing as she's his sla- servant. :V

Fiore Brunelli bit her lip once more, but more to stifle a giggle than anything. "Ah, yes. Astrologians. Theirs are a Sharlyan based study. I had a fond time looking into that during my time in Ishgard as well." Cedrick's... blatant lack of either understanding or caring--Fiore couldn't tell which--was rather endearing. "As for my living arrangements, I am currently here on behalf of the Maelstrom for the... Euhm... 'Effort." Fiore Brunelli cleared her throat, "But if you should wish it, sir, I can change those arrangements. My loyalty to you is second to none."

Cedrick Highwind shook his head, "Nah. I'm here fer th' same thing, after all. S'not only cuz this is me home land, aye? M'still a Dragoon bound t' Ishgard. I was jes' wondering n'general."

Fiore Brunelli nodded in response. "As I would suspect. You /are/ Ala Mhigan, after all." With nothing else to say, she gave Cedrick a once over and waited for him to say anything in particular. She kinda wished she had gotten to see his appearance back at the Azim Steppe. She would have left much earlier than she had, if so. Fiore stifled another giggle and cleared her throat, her inspection of Cedrick, likely blatant.

Cedrick Highwind just kinda cocked his brow at Fiore, "... So..." he scratched the nape of his neck, "Whot's yer name, then?" is all he asked, the processing of what is actually happening just sinking down, "Wait." he blinked, "Y'would ditch yer entire life jes' fer m- Thal's balls lass."

#ffxiv rp #ffxiv #excalibur #fiore brunelli ffxiv #quell #cedrick

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pri5cillasanchez · 7 years

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09/17/17

Writing something bc im fucked up lol thinking too much

Tonight I had the most insightful talk about the future basically. Although i’m more about living and appreciating the present, it’s nice to contemplate the future every now and then. It was like a breathe a fresh air being able to talk to a friend tonight about success and how we both came from hardships and overcame it to get to where we are in life now. My friend and I have a lot in common. In high school, nobody thought we would make it far at all. We were both perceived as partiers and people who used drugs all the time. Honestly, there were times where I didn’t even think I would create something of myself. But I think self motivation and courage and persistence stems from a hardship that comes to be endured in someones life. What made my friend decide to change was when he spent some time in juvenile hall. He realized that that wasn’t the life he wanted to live. His father was also hard on him, telling him he’d get nowhere in life. But he envisioned a goal for himself afterwards and continues to pursue that goal today and doing so well. Today he's doing a career that revolves around finances I believe and he didn't even have to get a degree for that either. That's why I support education but am also for pursuit of no education and simply pursing your career independently because sometimes that's the preferred route for people and it works just as successfully. All it takes is commitment and consistency to stay focused on who you envision yourself to be. As for me, it was years of physical and emotional abuse from my own father as well, that made me realize I hade two options to overcome this situation: stay stuck and depress myself even more than I already was, or pick myself back up and learn more and recreate something of myself. I chose to look at where I was in life, the broken mess I was, and pick myself back up and redefine who I was. I focused hard on my studies. Studied things I was passionate about, regardless of the obstacles I faced. Regardless of my father telling me I was doing that all for no reason because I was going nowhere anyways. I picked myself back up and I grinded as hard as I could and thats what got me to where I am today. And that’s who I continue to strive to be today. It takes everything in me to be as strong and persistent as I can until I reach my goals. Until I realize that I can pay my parents back and set a good example for my future children as well. I’m living in the present, enjoying every minute of my youth as I can, yet at the same time I keep my future in mind. I make decisions based on whether it will be beneficial towards my future goals, a successful job and happy family in which I can provide for. A lot of people criticize me for being too hard on myself or being too nerd etc, but i’m doing this all now so I can relax when it comes to the future. So I can be thankful I grinded my ass off now to provide for a better future. It was so relieving being able to talk to another person about all of this and them understanding because they’re in the same situation. When you realize you’re growing from the person you used to be, you become aware your goals are changing as well and the people you used to surround yourself with aren’t the people you want to be around anymore. You realize you want to surround yourself with people that are also motived, that have a vision, that are passionate about godamn something in their life whatever it may be and they are pursing that passion full force. It made me realize that I also want to commit myself to someone someday that is also dedicated to goals in life. And that they are working at that goal every single day, no matter how much criticism or obstacles you’ll face. Be ambitious, be passionate, pursue something in your life that makes you feel alive. Having substance and ambition is the most attractive thing to me, it says a lot about a person and how they’ll carry on throughout life tbh

#6am

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survivoremathia · 7 years

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Ep. 9 - "I'm the Only Pure Angel in a Game of RATS and Sloths" - Owen

OWEN

I hope Isaac is okay but like.... tribal cancelled? NUT. Isaac did nothing for me in this game. We didn't talk. We didn't vote together. As far as I'm concerned, he was a chess piece in someone else's hands. So I'm glad that's a variable that was removed :~) rip. Honestly though I do hope that whatever happened works out okay :( ANyways, I'm pretty sure Scott would've gone just as an easy vote. Now, I'm not sure what's going to happen next! Maybe Scott will still go? Idk. There are still powers out there. Especially Logan's merge fuckery prize!! Maybe immunity will be something I can actually win this time. I hope it's fun.

LOGAN

Isaac? I hope youre okay, but you stole two things from me. 1. You stole my extra vote. I could have shown who my allies are this round, but I never got a chance. 2. YOU STOLE MY FIRST INDIVIDUAL IMMUNITY? I've never done that before, and the fact I would have stolen it from TREVOR makes me so much angrier.

So I still can't choose who to align myself with - Duncan, or Matt? If I'm with Duncan, I'm with Trevor, and I don't trust Trevor. If I'm with Matt, I'm probably in the bottom of the numbers, but I can pull a Sarah Mosey and hide behind his personality... same with any of the newbies, but I doubt they're worth hiding behind.

ALI

Guess whose back, back again! Its ME! Welp, Isaac quitting made my exile stay somewhat underwhelming, importance wise, but him quitting and going to jury might be in my benefit. I was one of the few people he said who talked to him, and thus him going to jury without me having voted him out, might mean I'm still in his good graces, come F2/F3. Also, I love where I'm at in the merge tribe at the moment! I'm of course allied with J.D (still my number one), in the 'The Leal Jousewives of Atlanta' with Lydia and Trevor, and in 'The Hydra' with Matt and Sam. However, I'm also now close with Owen, and I have rebuilt a connection with Logan (even thought their lying to me about them going to room 9, which I am still kinda miffed about). Of those left, I like Ryan a lot too, and Scott trust me, so I don't think there are any issues there. Thus, the people 'on the outs' with me personally, are Duncan and David. Duncan, because I'm still super sketched out by that Rob idol play lie, and David, who I've barely spoken to. It seems like the general consensus for the next tribal is Scott, but then, I was talking to Owen about this yesterday, we feel like after that, this game will come alive and everyone is going to pounce. I finished the challenge, I went past 483, then went back to it, but I highly doubt I'll be first (I fell asleep ten mins before the challenge was posted, and completed it about 12 hours after it was set yikes)... I know concretely that I beat Scott however, so if he is the general consensus, he hasn't won immunity. What else is there... Hmmm, oh yeah, I'm somewhat conflicted, for my game's future. I feel like at some point soon-ish, me and JD will have to pick a side between our two four person alliances. If I had to pick now, I feel like we'll end up siding with 'TLJoA' alliance, as JD is definitely swaying towards them, and Sam is also close to Trevor, so we'd only be 'abandoning' one person (Matt). Ideally, I'd love to make F5 with TLJoA + Owen, because then, it'd almost be 'obvious' that me, Lydia and JD should vote out Trevor/Owen, as a duo. That's the goal at the moment! :)

Tonight has been amazing for me game-wise. I've FINALLY made headway with repairing my relationship with Duncan and forming one by David! Admittedly, the latter only really happened when I messaged him 'what rhymes with four hundred and eighty knee' :). Anywho, I won't complain- if it brings us together, I love it! :)

MATTEW

yeah so...it's final 11 now which means game time in my mind. With Isaac and Scott leaving the game, we're really left with a group that has a lot of big threats and nowhere to hide. A few rounds ago I led Logan to door #9 in an effort to keep whatever goodie it held out of Trevor's hands but that immediately backfired when a) it was apparently only an extra vote that is already expired and b) Sam told Trevor that I let Logan know what it was! I'd love to have faith in my alliance, but I'd be a fool not to expect Sam and Trevor to be working together after they both mutinied from the same tribe. However, at this point, I don't think it's within my best interest to just keep quiet and not make a big move because Trevor is probably paranoid as hell that Logan has an idol and according to Ryan, he said that I "need to go" after Sam exposed me so I could very well be a target this round. The thing is, Trevor has Owen and Lydia absolutely on lock, so I need at least one member of the Hydra to be on my side or else I'd have absolutely no chance at getting the numbers. Out of the three, I think I can convince Ali to side with me, so I'm really going to work on buttering him up and enticing him with the idea of a "big move" in the event that Sam and JD were onboard with a plan to blindside me.

DUNCAN

Isaac quit and Scott got Med Evacd meaning i made final 11 sluts!!!! And Rob is on the jury!!! I'm going to take a shot in the dark and say Isaac quit bc Solomon Islands is coming up so he'll need to dedicate his time to hosting that, which I totally understand. On the not so bright side, I'm never getting his vote, oops. I had a meltdown in PI johto like a week ago and swung at a lot of people, Isaac included, and I think it left a bitter taste in his mouth. OOPS!! Apparently I'm not bound to have good social game in Athena games anymore. *abbey shrug*

http://survivoremathia.tumblr.com/post/158530385221/immunity-9-password

http://survivoremathia.tumblr.com/post/158568335546/immunity-results-and-announcement

OWEN

im gay but i won immunity so that is cute

LYDIA

I can't say I'm completely comfortable with this vote. I've done my best talking to people but no one has really reached out to talk game with me besides my original crew of Ali and JD, and then the new crew of Ryan, Trevor, and Owen. JD and Ali have been working with Sam and Matt, and I'm really not sure if me and Matt can play nice together rn so I need them to break away from that combo. Also I like Sam and all but I get strange vibes about him, I know he doesn't have much interest in playing with me, he's a nice kid tho. Trevor is causing some drama. Ryan thinks he's doing too much and making himself a threat, which I agree with. Ryan is okay letting him self destruct and I'm really not, but I'm also not willing to throw Ryan under the bus. So I wanted to tell Trevor to calm down without making it obvious that Ryan is the one who was talking about it, but I don't think I did that very well. I probably just made him annoyed. In other news, I'm nervous about this vote because I feel like Scott should be the obvious choice but honestly people might not want to do that. I'm scared this will get flipped on myself because Matt might be mad and I'm unlikable, or Trevor because he's allegedly doing too much.

When did Scott get medevaced??? God fuck shit now I actually have to talk to people. Son of a gun.....

ALI

Scott leaving has really made this next tribal super complex. My dream merged alliance of 'Me, Matt, JD, Sam, Trevor, Owen and Lydia'? Isn't happening. Why can't my dreams just come true ugh? What's worse, is that I MIGHT BE A GOSH DARN SWING VOTE. As it stands, Matt is amassing an army against Trevor, of Logan, Duncan, David, Ryan and himself with me as the sixth, and Trevor's alliance is himself, Lydia, Owen, Sam, JD and me AGAIN as the sixth. Well, I am trying to think it through, as to which side to go to. I am far better connected on the Trevor side of things (am close to JD and Sam, am in a four person alliance with Trevor and Lydia, really like Owen), but I am super concerned about a Trevor , Owen and Lydia power trio. Like really really concerned. On the other side, I'm not especially close with David, nor am I with Ryan. Logan and Duncan I've rebuilt relationships with, but we still have that Eddie vote that's preventing a solid alliance for being formed. I really like Matt though and want to stick with him. I have some plans. Plan A) This is the dream plan. If I can somehow dismantle this split vote, and make it a large majority, then I'm not pissing off like half the tribe and can keep working with Matt, alongside 'TLJoA people'. If we can pick off an easy target, like David (can't believe I just described a 10+ times player as an 'easy target' but anywho) and then delay this inevitable bloodbath, I can try and quash people's differences. Plan B) PANIC AND WORRY AND CRY AND STUFF Plan C) Just pick a side and pray For my first game, this is quite the trial by fire. I've been thrown way into the deep end.

LOGAN

if trevor blindsides me for the second time in org career together i will b one PO'd cookie

AMANDA

Hi Jay! It's me again! I just wanted to say hey and also you're great. Cami and Abbey too, since they will read this at some point. Love you all!

LOGAN

Amanda is my favorite mom today tho bc it's Sunday and she deserves it.

OWEN

Being under the radar is easy when you have immunity. Apparently Ryan told Lydia that Trevor was controlling so like.... that's good for me!! Everyone would target him before me, I think. But they can't forget the other trio in the game, Sam, Ali and JD. Sam in particular has been extra stupid to talk to because he won't bring up any names to me or talk game and it's almost as transparent as me trying to force him to lol. He never mentioned the idol to me even though Duncan claims that he knows I know anyway. Isn't that even more of a reason to bring it up...? Yeah it's... just not good!!! I don't wanna be too pushy but I think the best move for me is if David stays and Matt goes. I'm just worried that they'll try to flip it on Trevor or something. But I do have a plan for the rest of this game!! Here's the order I wanna get shit done :~) Matt Sam Ali Ryan Logan Duncan David JD That would be the ideal boot order... Assuming I want to be in the end with Trevor. It would be more ideal to me if Trevor were to leave at five or four because I think he would beat me. The problem is I don't want to write his name down and I know Lydia won't want to either? Which means something else would have to happen for him to go - like an idol play. I want Sam gone before he plays the damn cursed idol. But idk how I'll get that done next round. If Matt goes, I would need Ryan and his extra vote, Lydia, Trevor, myself, and David. Which sounds hard. Maybe I'll talk to David and tell him he's on the chopping block... but if that gets back to the others then they'll be sketched out by me and wanna vote out Trevor. God I would rather just go back to sleep than deal with this. The only thing Scott ever did to make the game harder was get his ass booted. Fuck that

Everyone was set on David but that's not good enough for me so! I tried bringing up voting Matt to Sam and he continues to avoid talking actual game with me so I brought it up to Ali and Ali clearly didn't wanna vote Matt out. Alright Ali!!! Interesting! Ali said that he's close with Matt and can keep an eye on him and so :) I went to duncan and was like Ali is close with Matt and so is Logan we need to do something. And then sometime during this I guess Matt brought up trevor's name and Sam told trevor and then duncan asked sam about voting matt and I just.... am screaming!!!! Hopefully Matt doesn't catch wind of this and hopefully Sam and Duncan decide it's better to vote for Matt than for David. Then we would just need Lydia and Ryan on board... and Idk what would happen with Ali and JD if they weren't told about the vote?? Either way if this works, and all I had to do was be the match that sparked the flame, I'll cry

TREVOR

https://youtu.be/BLR36h1uZHQ

DUNCAN

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=pxPn-7pD9lo&feature=youtu.be

RYAN PALMER

ok so chaos ryan is here yall! lets see if we can get trevor out tonight. if this works i fucking win. i dont care if i get voted out. it will be the most amazing move created in a half an hour on no sleep ever! LETS GET THIS GAME GOING! IM NOT HERE TO PLAY TREVORS GAME!

OWEN

Well well well!!! Looks like I'm the only pure angel in a game of RATS and sloths!! The Matt thing got rolling and the votes shifted away from David but then.... Matt pulled together a group to vote Trevor!!! Which Duncan may or may not be a part of. So theoretically they believe David, Logan, Matt, Ryan, Duncan, and JD are voting Trevor, Trevor Lydia and myself are voting Matt, and Ali and Sam are voting David?? But Sam and Ali know all about the Matt plan and JD told them all about the Trevor plan. So I guess it'll come down to both Duncan and the idols left. Trevor for some reason thinks Sam is gonna play an idol on him which I think is BS but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ This whole Matt thing really let shit hit the fan huh!!! And I'm just sitting pretty :) Got my idol round my neck, my popcorn in my lap, and my 3D glasses on. I wanna see fireworks after tribal.

ALI

Literally, this vote is madness. Its turned into an all out war between Trevor and Matt. Its just too much for me :(. Like, I need sleep. Why can't everyone just get along lmao?!?

OWEN

Also can we talk about how Trevor still wanted to trust Ryan even after Ryan told Lydia that Trevor was a threat???? Sketch. Not on my watch, Ryan!

lmao me trying to convince Trevor to give me his idol and he won't!!!! sketch!!!!!

ALI

Please Sam! Play the gosh darn idol! :)

MATTHEW

So, I've been fishing around to see if anybody would be even willing to target Trevor and then Trevor does what Trevor does and causes chaos an hour before tribal so I have limited time to scramble. What started out as an "easy" David vote has now turned into a massive power struggle between myself and Trevor. There's really not a lot of people I trust at the moment, but Ryan Teddy Palmer is thankfully working his magic and helping me by trying to get numbers and using his extra vote advantage. It all comes down to where Ali and Sam lie. They're gonna decide my fate tonight. I want to trust in them because of our alliance but I know they were both kinda close to Trevor on their original tribes and I've had reason to believe they're both still kinda working with him, so this round is really gonna test where their loyalties lie. Unfortunately for me, if they don't choose me, I'm out of the game. I also can't stand Duncan's fakeness lol, he still holds a vendetta against me for retaliating against his move that was intended to screw me over. Like...4 of us voted your man out, not just me. But now he's besties with Trevor and wants me to go and it's just a hot mess. If I go out this round, I at least went down fighting, but I'm hoping that nothing crazy happens and Trevor is sent home once and for all.

ALI

Five minutes before the vote, and I'm having serious heart palpitations. Lord save me. This is sooooo scary.

http://survivoremathia.tumblr.com/post/158609555526/tribal-council-uh8-8 0

#allianceofone #episodes

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