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#im not used to writing long ass analysis posts like this sorry if anything is like off
lttleghost · 2 years
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The Thematic Relevance of Jesse as an Egg
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(no significance to this picture I just think he's pretty here)
This headcanon is one that I have become increasingly passionate about as I have rewatched Breaking Bad, the more I think about it the more I feel that this headcanon is the most supported version of Jesse being trans based on direct observations of canon. It is primarily based on parallels, and largely focuses on "what if Jesse realizes he's not a cis guy like he thought parallel to realizing he's not cut out to be the criminal he thought he was?" also I will be pointing out how Jesse's initial sense of self, or who he tries to be, is disconnected from who he actually is and how that also works very well as support for Jesse realizing he's trans during the story
in Breaking Bad there is a common pattern of characters being introduced in a way where their first impression is at least somewhat different from the character that we come to know. While I myself liked Jesse from the very start, I wasn't quite expecting just how much of a kind, empathetic and conflicted young adult he ended up showing himself as. Each character whose initial introduction contrasts who they end up being generally has some aspect of themselves believing the mask that they put up to others, but I think Jesse has a particularly strong disconnect between who he thinks he is, who he thinks he should be, and who he really is.
I think my most solid example of this has to do with Jesse's superhero characters-
furthermore when Jane leaves to check the door, you see Jesse looking at his drawings and he seems to be considering something, and I think it's likely that he is further considering the idea that he was in fact drawing himself
NEW UPDATED POST, PLEASE READ THIS ONE INSTEAD: https://lttleghost.tumblr.com/post/701123507095027712/i-wrote-this-analysis-awhile-back-and-wanted-to
I do believe that Jesse's superhero drawings were either 'sonas' of himself - whether or not he made the conscious decision to draw them that way. I think this because his response to Jane mentioning they all looked like him, and after initially denying it, was "like you've never wanted a superpower," which felt to me like an admission that he has wanted a superpower, and that his drawings might've been a manifestation of this
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and I think it's interesting because currently Jesse is a criminal right? and while superheroes are as well, I feel most people would categorize them as a different type of criminal than Jesse is; but in any case he's got all of these drawings of what seems to be himself as a superhero, while in the present he is simply a criminal, and not the vigilante type that a superhero is. and considering he used the exact words "fight crime" when describing what his superhero characters do, it might show that inherently he wants to do something good
I think a large part of why Jesse ended up as a criminal is it was likely the only thing he thought he could successfully do for a decent living, since he has no support from his parents, or anyone outside of the drug trade. Not only that, but he's aggressively ADHD coded. the combination of having so little support, battling addiction, and having undiagnosed ADHD would make slogging through any job he seemed to have access to, or would be encouraged to do, a complete nightmare. So I feel like much of him falling into the drug trade was because it was something he could reasonably achieve and live off of, as well as it becoming something Jesse, an artist, has some enjoyment doing as he stated that "cooking is art." Another factor could be that there’s a sort of rebelliousness stemming from how normal society failed him. but I think that to deal with the more harsh aspects of that life, even before Walt re-entered his life and made everything increasingly worse, Jesse had to play into a specific role, a criminal, and convince himself that that was who he really was so that he could survive
I'm also curious as to when Jesse started making meth because he said he drew his superhero pictures four years ago, specifically phrasing it as "I was a kid when I drew these it was like... four years ago", and he's twenty four in that scene, meaning he would've been twenty when he drew them. I think it would've been even more interesting if he had just started making meth around that point and if his drawings were almost a subconscious vent about how he wishes he was sort of doing something different, something still rebellious in some way maybe but also something that directly helps others since Jesse's care and empathy surfaces time and time again throughout the show even when he tries to hide it, but that's more speculation on my part
so relating this all to gender: while in reality masculinity and being a man isn't intrinsically tied to criminality at all, Breaking Bad does tie them together in some ways, and though it is specifically toxic masculinity it's still reasonable to parallel Jesse not fitting in with the criminal world with him not being entirely a man, if he ends up having any connection to being one at all. Other than Jesse having dissonance in terms of his identity and how it becomes more and more apparent throughout the series that being the type of criminal that he is doesn't suit him well, looking back, even at the start of the show his attempts to act in this hyper-masculine way that is more or less the norm in the drug trade comes off as really fake for the most part. Even in episode one when he's talking to Krazy 8, who mentions that Emilio thinks that Jesse might've ratted him out, while Jesse responding with “that's bullshit” sounds genuine, when he goes to say "I should kick his (Emilio's) punk ass for even thinking that" I not only personally think his tone of voice sounds like fake bravado, I also believe that there is no way Jesse actually thinks that he can take on Emilio, considering Jesse has a body type that resembles a lil twig and I seriously doubt he has such little self awareness that he wouldn't consider that.
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I also think Jesse's romantic relationships are telling in his separation from other characters in terms of toxic masculinity. While in episode two Jesse does throw the insult "great job at wearing the pants in the family" at Walt in regards to Skyler coming and confronting Jesse, when it comes to his actual actions in a relationship he doesn't show any need to be in control over his partner. In another area regarding relationships there is a scene having to do with Jesse and Jane that I think separates Jesse from the typical idea of toxic masculinity even more - when Jesse asks Jane why she didn't really introduce him to her dad, which evolves into discussing their relationship in which Jane suggests that they're just sleeping together where Jesse clearly was under the impression that they were dating, it places Jesse into a role that is stereotypically assigned to women or female characters in media, and I think that in the case of Breaking Bad, that can be seen as significant
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and tying all of those things together forms a solid base for it being thematically relevant and fitting for Jesse to realize he's trans at some point as the story progresses. Jesse discovers his gender identity as he is learning and discovering other parts of his general identity as a whole. I don't have any true "proof" for this headcanon, as Jesse was not written to be lgbt+ and this headcanon is drawn from parallels that weren't intended, but those parallels can still be observed regardless and are relevant to Jesse's character arc as well as not bringing up any conflicts or questions with canon material that we are given
I also have my own ideas of the progression of Jesse discovering his identity as a trans person when he questions and represses his gender more and more. this will be told through the lens of my specific interpretation for Jesse, where he's a gender nonconforming transfem person (even before I started to consider that he could be trans I always found him to be "inexplicably feminine") who doesn't medically transition. I think he is a butch lesbian personally as while his connection to "manhood" is nothing but negative, he seems to have some expressions of masculinity that are fine with him, and approaching them as a transfem lesbian would cross into those few aspects of masculinity feeling comfortable again, but since I believe any identity where Jesse realizes he's trans during canon can equally be supported by this analysis, I feel some events could be altered to fit any identity that falls under that category
I don't think Jesse had many notable Gender (™) experiences other than just generally feeling a little out of place, though maybe he couldn't identify how he felt out of place since a lot of things could have contributed to it. Maybe he could've been interested in "girls’ stuff" as a lil kid but with his parents being the shitty type of people that just seem to want a "normal" child, I imagine they discouraged it. I can also see Jesse at some point when he's older screwing around with his friends and putting a dress on and saying something out loud along the lines of "haha I look like such a queer don't I" but internally thinking "I will die before I tell anyone how this is making me feel"
but in the show, up until he's in a relationship with Jane, I think he had fully convinced himself that he is a cis man, but after meeting Jane and starting to date her, I can see how she might have started to introduce him to more gender-related stuff. I do believe Jane is bi and maybe trans, I don't have any solid evidence for my hcs relating to Jane, except for maybe her approach to relationships feels very not straight, as does her fashion sense. If you want to interpret her as trans I think her gender identity could reasonably be within a wider range than Jesse, I personally think her appearance is what she prefers as far as presentation, but it doesn't put any limits on her identity, she could be transfem or gnc transmasc or transneutral, I think there's at least something reasonable to interpret her as any of those things.
In any case, I can picture Jesse mentioning to her something about how he sometimes wishes he wasn't a man, but that he doesn't want to change anything about himself physically or anything so he thinks he is stuck as one, and I can see Jane sort of trying to nudge him in the direction of "the only thing you need to not be a man is to feel like you aren't one" which in all honesty at first I don't think Jesse would be all that receptive of, he still is in deep with the drug trade and it… isn't particularly lgbt friendly and Jesse might subconsciously recognize some danger in realizing he's trans, even if he could opt out of telling people that he is. But as he and Jane continue to get close I think that around her specifically he gets more comfortable questioning and talking about his identity at least to a small extent
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but when she dies I think Jesse just goes into total repression mode, more so than ever. as he falls into the persona of "the bad guy" he also dips back into that hyper-masculine behaviour that is so prominent in the drug trade, which also coincides with him seemingly acting more selfish for awhile during large sections of season three (at least until he meets Andrea) because he lost someone so important to him; and, whether or not we're including the headcanon that Jesse was starting to realize he was trans, Jane was still the only person Jesse ever seemed to fully open up to, or at least open up to more than he does with anyone else, so it makes sense that losing that would cause him to close up, even to himself
then after meeting Andrea and everything that follows, I imagine that Jesse drops the full on repression of his gender identity but also isn't trying to actively consider it because there is simply too much going on in his life that is way more of a priority. I sometimes think that maybe he might've told Mike, and while I think Mike himself wouldn't respond negatively from a personal end, I do think he'd probably tell Jesse to please not share that with anyone else, which would technically be good advice but would still likely be discouraging to Jesse
I'd say that Jesse eventually fully figures his gender out is once he is safe after all of the canon events of BrBa, and I like to think about how he'll find a lot of comfort and healing in no longer having to try to be a man, because now he knows he isn't one.
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sukunasweetheart · 1 month
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//just me venting about sukuna haters sorry
Not me seeing so much discourse about whether sukuna is a well written villain or not... he essentially has no backstory shown as of yet and we barely know anything about him but he is still one of the most naturally interesting and compelling characters in the whole damn series bro 💀 buckle up bc its about to get lengthy (im just glazing sukuna in this post ngl so 🧎‍♀️)
so many whiny ass mfs are weeping about how he "doesn't have any personal goals or a proper reason to be a villain" when that is the whole point???? He lives on his own desires and satisfactions and does whatever he wants to, because he is capable enough to do that. Mfs want "real villains" but cant even handle sukuna 💀 ive seen too many shit ass threads and poorly articulated "critiques" on his character that dont make any valid points. If you can't even separate your personal dislike of a character from your analysis of their writing, dont even bother posting that shit please 😭😭😭 the fact that we haven't even gotten any information about his background yet and people are jumping the gun about him being "poorly written" is already saying a lot 🤨
The fact that yall are so bitter and angry about him that you can write 500+ words about how oh-so-terrible of a villain he is kinda proves that he's doing his job well tbh 💁‍♀️
What also bothers me to no END is how people compare him with villains of other series, who had compelling sob stories that made people empathise with them. Thats nice and all but why should all villains have grand ideals and be subject to feelings of empathy/sympathy from their audience?
Part of what makes sukuna so interesting is how he's not tied down by morals, rules or long term goals in life. He doesn't limit himself, which is what makes him an unpredictable character. He's completely left behind what it means to be human in many ways, and he's clearly not a character written to be empathised with. He is very purposefully inhumane and distant from everyone else, and that feeling transcends from within the series to real life as well. There is a clear lack of understanding bc most of us can't comprehend what its like to just live without being goal-oriented.
Sukuna is a true anomaly in the sense that he doesnt really fit in any kind of box within the series. He's born from man, but its clear that he separates himself from humans (and nobody else considers him human, either). He's not a cursed spirit. He hovers between life and death. The narrator referred to him as the honoured one, whilst angel referred to him as the disgraced one.
These little contradictions in his character make him all the more complicated and interesting to think about. And even recently, he's been shown to waver a little bit momentarily in the manga, questioning his own irritation at yuuji. He's capable of self reflection, and though sukuna does whatever he wants for the most part, he doesn't blindly go into things without some thought first, he's a constant thinker and analyser, and an intelligent one at that.
And honestly, he is always such a joy to watch and read, his personality is so flavourful, and the way he carries himself is very attractive. He's not afraid to get messy or of getting hurt, theres so much chaos in the way he does things and yet he also has a huge element of gracefulness to him, which shines through the poetic way he speaks. Its undeniable that sukuna simply oozes charisma...
And this isnt talked about enough but this man is genuinely so effortlessly funny (in a kind of sinister way i guess?) Like yes he is an old ass man having real beef with one FIFTEEN YEAR OLD for very little reason, he accidentally healed yuujis arm and somehow expected him to be grateful for it despite how he literally ripped his heart out afterwards, then he proceeded to sit on him after kicking him down likeeee 😭 what kind of behaviour is this sir
His facial expressions at yorozus yapping 💀 THE WAY HE COMPARED YUUJIS FACE OF DESPAIR TO THE HARIMA STATUE 😭😭😭💀😭💀💀😭 omg that was so foul but i was fucking losing it ngl
How he randomly compared gojo to a fish and started talking abt his scales... thats a very unique and descriptive comparison, isnt it? Even in the recent leaks, he was 100% ready and squaring up to a literal child talking abt "youre starting to get annoying" LIKE HELPPP 😭 HE FR SAID "fuck them kids and fuck you too"
I saw someone saying that sukuna has no passion, like are we talking about the same character....? This man is a literal jujutsu NERD 💀💀 he truly recognises talented sorcerers and the only time hes seen to be having genuine fun is when hes fighting a mf... is that not passion? This is literally sukuna when it comes to jujutsu: 🤓
Anyway im done here now, im pretty sure i missed a lot of things i couldve talked about as well but ive done enough yapping
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I’m back on my bullshit and we have GOT TO TALK about 13x08 The Scorpion and the Frog; which serves as a good example of why you should not ONLY watch spn episodes with Cas (partially because of that scene I shamefully blogged about earlier - no I will not link that cursed post here).  The episode title comes from a fable in which the villain is the scorpion.  Interpretations of this fable note its uniqueness lies in the concept that “the scorpion is irrationally self destructive and fully aware of it.”
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To quote the scorpion, buddies -  “it’s in my nature.”
Anyway, this episode is subtextually predicated on exploring Dean Winchester’s nature and specifically - his bisexuality, and I’m not only saying that because it opens with Dean in his Bi Colors Plaid (that also he wore on his burger date with Cas).
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Let’s get started, after the cut!
Season 13 on its face gives me absolute whiplash because it starts widow arc-reunion-TOMBSTONE and then Jack yeets himself off to Chuck knows where so Cas can go out Looking For Him Because Otherwise He Will Definitely Kiss Dean there is no other option for the writers at this point.  Sigh.  Here, have another shot of Dean anxiously cleaning his gun as he always does when Cas has Gone Off For Reasons -
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Anyway, this feels like a filler episode at first, but as always they bury the ENTIRE damn world in it and I am here with my dossier to Unearth It.
Lets start with Bart (demon of terrible nicknames and microagressions) meeting the brothers at Smile Diner to talk about some spell or whatever. 
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(I am not thinking about the Cherry Pie meta I AM NOT)
THEY HAVE THE AUDACITY to start with these lines immediately introducing the theme of duality, a thread throughout this episode.
BARTHAMUS
Everything. I've been following your careers a long time. You're a real pain in the pitchfork. And the halo. Natural disrupters. We have that in common, you and I. DEAN
Mm. Yeah, we're twinsies.
***MORE DUALITY!  But as we know, Dean does not like Bart because He Is A Freakin’ Demon
DEAN
Well, see, here's the thing. When a demon tells us to jump, we don't ask how high. We just ice their ass.
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UMMM excuse me Barting Bacting Boices?  What is that sexual gaze?  
Then we find out that Bart has 1/2 of the spell.  They need the other 1/2.  Oh, a spell with two parts, you say? [ I am going to scream :) ]
***Also, Dean eats the pie Bart ordered.  I cannot begin to explain to you the state of unwellness that I am in regarding how important this is. DEAN NEVER GETS TO EAT THE PIE, remember?  But in This Filler Episode, Dean eats the pie. While Sam looks at him with a very quizzical expression.  Pie -> what Dean wants but never actually gets -> Dean actively eating this pie.  Dean is coming to terms that maybe he can have what he wants.
***I am reminding you again that this is post widower-arc, post-reunion, and especially post-Tombstone.  Anyway-
Now we get to Smash and Grab.  Not literally even though I want to Commit Such Conduct at this point.  We are introduced to two one off characters named 
Smash (human/female presenting) -  can crack any safe built by man 
and Grab (demon/male presenting)-  expert in bypassing supernatural security.
Reaching or no, you can’t disagree that when spn introduces one off characters - it is almost always a Narrative Parallel or Mirror.
So we have a human and a demon (and Dean Winchester, a human who has been a demon)
who are experts in cracking open/bypassing something that has been secured and guarded (breaking down walls, if you will).  
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They also use fake names identifying them as Tools to be Used ( Dean Winchester, the Michael Sword/daddys blunt little instrument)
BONUS:
Dean himself is literally used as a tool in this episode.
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So yeah.  Smash and Grab are physical representations of Dean’s duality.  Human/Demon.  Femininity/Masculinity.  Dare we say something else, too?
Anyway, Dean is paired with Smash and Grab; Sam is off to idk negotiate weird artifact purchases lawboy style with Luther Shrike, a man who cannot die so long as he never leaves his house (I cannot even begin to unpack this shit; please just sit there and think about it.  I’m not even going there here.  I CANNOT DISCUSS Luther Shrike RN).
Speaking of things I cannot discuss without halgdhsag;lsa - Smash has very Specific boots (a look overall, really).
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DEAN
Hey, Winona. The '90s called. They'd like their shoes back. SMASH
Shh.
***That’s right girl - do not take his shit; he actually LOVES them and is therefore Overcompensating for it with this little jab.
***Dean’s pop culture references and particular attention to the details here Should Not Be Overlooked.  90s! Winona! Ryder!
ANYWAY, then Dean and Smash bond over a caffeinated beverage -
[While Dean is doing a spell, Smash opens a can of drink, takes a mouthful and burps loudly. ] SMASH
Ahh. DEAN
You're weird.
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***This scene makes me literally insane. (even aside from Dean living on something named NERVE DAMAGE as a KID.  They could have called it anything. You’re saying this wasn’t a Choice)  
She chugs a swallow of the drink and burps.  Something stereotypically associated with masculinity.  Not feminine.  Dean’s reaction is that she is “weird” - because she is not acting in a way stereotypically, J*hn Winchester brain-rot patriarchy bullshit-tily associated with Being Female.  But also, says the stupid show, they like the same soda.  They are The Same.  She shares the soda with Dean.  HIS FACE WHEN SHE DOES -
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Other similarities are addressed throughout the episode (they are working for demons because they have no choice; they don’t discuss feelings/emotions, they both sold their soul, they both This Thing - 
DEAN
You know, we could help you. SMASH
No, you can't. I gotta take care of me.
etc. etc.) Smash is absolutely dean-coded.
****Also it’s textually established that Smash thinks Dean is attractive -
GRAB
[looking at Smash] Oh. You said he was just a pretty face. SMASH 
Shh.
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***But Grab flirts with him too.
DEAN
I will kill you. GRAB
I bet you say that to all the girls.
***sorry, Grab - you won’t get far with Dean, but only because as he mentioned in the beginning of this episode - 
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Drowley rights.
Now Dean has to put his hand in the mouth of this stone lion thing and all of a sudden he is acting....very-not-like-Dean.
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[Dean looks again and takes a deep breath.] DEAN
I… how about this? What if I cut myself, put it on, like, a little piece of paper? We'll just wad it up and throw it in the mouth, okay? Okay. 
***Dean Winchester, who has been to Literal HELL, who has been torn apart by hellhounds, who has battled the devil and angels and God’s sister - all at the expense of his own life is now - afraid of spiders.  Well, technically he has always been afraid of spiders, but why isn’t ‘he being performative about it At This Time??
***Come to think of it, this sends me right back to how Jackles was playing Dean in 12x11 Regarding Dean THE episode dissecting Dean’s performative masculinity [one day I will clean up and post that analysis sitting in my drafts like a sad hamster]. That makes sense actually, because -> -> ->
that episode and this one are both written by Meredith Glynn.  Girl get in I want to torture you affectionately with a barrage of questions.
So here we have Dean and he’s not performing for Reasons, and he’s scared he’s genuinely scared of putting his hand in this stone lion-gargoyle-pig-creature’s mouth and then -
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Smash gives him a push.
She gives him a push.  I cannot stop thinking about how she gives him a push.  A push to go do this thing that he is scared of; his fear being something he was hiding under his performative masculinity. Smash - dean coded dean mirror who does not perform femininity and is ‘weird’ -  she   gives   him   a     p u s h.
***linking here for the jackting joices that follow.
Now, let’s circle back to Smash’s story; why she is working for Bart in the first place -
SMASH
You think I wanna be here? Like I have a choice? SAM
You made a deal. SMASH
Wow! You think? SAM
You sold your soul. SMASH
And if I could take it back, I would. 
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there is no reason for this picture here other than I needed you to see the jackting again
***How does the story end for Smash?
DEAN
Take care of you. [Dean glances down at the box, and then at Smash. She sees that Dean has put a lighter on top of the bones.]  BARTHAMUS
Alice, chop chop! 
[Bart indicates she should get his bones]. SMASH
Yeah. [She grabs the lighter and sets Bart's bones alight. Bart screams as he bursts into flames. ] 
***She accepts help and breaks free from the narrative, literally burning it down. The female presenting but not female-performing “weird” ooc representing a side of Dean breaks FREE because she makes a choice.  The lighter Dean drops? It’s a push.  And she goes with it.
Alice reclaims her story.
(Also, Grab gets ganked.  The male presenting ooc; the performative masculinity side; the demon; the darkness; the not-humanity - gets ganked).
Guess what Dean says to Alice when they say goodbye?
DEAN
Hey, Alice. Stay weird.
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[I know the peace sign is probably just a Charlie throwback but I’d still like to say duality.  Two. ]
Dean’s not just talking to Alice.  He’s talking to himself; because the walls have been breached and for once Dean isn’t as scared of being different.  Maybe, just maybe, he’s going along with the push.  That’s exactly how the episode ends - with Dean feeling a little more hopeful, a little more at peace; a little more Considering he is capable of not only loving Cas but also not hating himself for it. 
[until the knowledge that Mary is still alive and the guilt of allowing himself ANY happy thoughts instead of looking for her miserably rears its ugly head in 13x09 and round and round we go but for NOW at least -> ]
DEAN
I'll drink to that.
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(oh look Dean is just wearing his henley.  It’s almost as if a layer has been peeled back).
tagging @im-shaking-like-milk​ and @deanwasalwaysbi​ for letting me ramble on to them while writing this; and @lilac-void​ because you are always so kind about my stuff :)
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riceccakes · 3 years
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Earth, Wind, and Coffee: Chapter Four Analysis
and now the last chapter of the fic! i really had so much fun writing these analyses so i hope you’ve enjoyed too :))
i’ve got a lot to say about this last chapter too so be prepared for a long one. lets get to it, shall we?
some fun stuff before we start!
before changing the direction of the story, the last chapter of the fic was going to be Chapter 3: The Meeting, A Well Deserved Jab, and a Good Night’s Rest
so, The Meeting was going to happen, korrasami was gonna come back together and instead of the krew outing during this chapter’s A Well Deserved Jab, korrasami was gonna go out on a date. korra still would punch iroh, korra never ‘moved in’ with asami, it was just gonna be a fluffy section. A Good Night’s Rest was actually going to feature hiroshi going to asami’s apartment while korra was over and being like “who the fuck is this” and korra was gonna be upset asami didn’t tell her dad about them (as, in the og timeline, they would be dating at this point) they’d have a convo working this out, a little like how korra said she’d never understand how asami and hiroshi don’t have a great relationship in A Much Needed Conversation. korra would then go to hiroshi’s office and make that whole speech and still ask asami to go the south. this is a v summed up version, one that when i made it, i was happy with. having published what i did, i much enjoy that ending more than this one :)
i wanted a way to show that korra likes asami (obviously, this is a korrasami fic) but of course, asami spent most of this only wishing korra liked her
mako asking out korra was a late edition, one i actually really like. mako’s role in the fic is pretty minor, sorry to those of you who really love him and maybe wanted more from him. however, i am a really big fan of the fact that in lok, even after all the stupid love triangle shit, mako was able to be good friends with korrasami, so i still wanted to capture that. he’s not at all upset when korra turns him down, but rather super happy for the fact that korrasami feel the same way about each other. an even later edition to this point is the bedroom scene when korra asks asami to wait for her, i’ll mention more about this scene later cause i really love it.
and we in gooooo: (i usually try to write these following the sections of the chapter but for this analysis, im gonna go topic by topic within each section)
literary devices (diction, figurative language, etc.):
There have been better days than this one. Days where Korra blows up Asami’s phone with funny Instagram posts she finds while Asami’s at school, days where she invites Mako and Bolin over and the four of them play board games, days where Korra asks if they can go out for a walk and she excitedly explores the area around Asami’s apartment. There have been worse days than this one. Days where Korra won’t get out of bed, days where Korra won’t speak, days where Korra won’t even look at Asami and she has to see that glossed over gaze gawk out the glass window.
back again, just quoting my favorite sections. and this one, yall, this one. the mirrored writing style, the ending with alliteration, how easily it describes a passage of time i mean come on. when i wrote this i was like “yyyyaaaasssss” and i won’t deny it. the “glossed over gaze gawk out the glass window” is obvious in alliteration, one that just sounds so good, it rolls off the tongue. but, there’s actually also another one, one that’s a bit more hidden “she excitedly explores the area around Asami’s apartment” note how these both end the descriptions of korra’s bad/good days respectively, as a sort of way to frame which parts of the sentence correspond with the good days and bad days. now, going onto korra’s days, three examples of good days, three examples of bad days (that’s technically six different days right there, and it doesn’t even have to be in succession.) what i also love about this info into korra’s days is how it shows a passage of time without having to be like “it’s been a few weeks” or “after some time/a while” it doesn’t stick out, at least not to me, it’s not a jarring way to say, “hey, in the story now, time has passed since last chapter!” idk, i just am really proud of this paragraph and i wanted to point it out in its own section :)
Asami will never, ever say she’s happy that the Red Lotus attack happened, but, it’s what brought Korra to her. It’s what brought more friends to her, it’s what brought her to see her father isn’t as great and almighty as she’d grown up to believe. How could she ever thank something so horrible for bringing about all these life changing things in her life?
this sort of, existential section, was something i came up with on the toilet. (tmi? im not gonna apologize tho, this is a behind the scenes explanation of my writing and some of my best writing happens on the toilet ¯\_(ツ)_/¯) any who, i didn’t want to leave any loose ends and, up until this chapter, i don’t really think i showed how asami felt about the attack and the situation and what’s happened after. also, asami being the perfectionist and analyst she is, i know she’d reflect on everything that’s happened to her in the span of about six months (give or take) and even more so, reflect on what’s happened with korra in the time they’ve known each other. it was a bit painful to write this section, it’s that sort of mentality that’s like “some horrible, horrible shit happened, but really, really good things came out of it. so, should i still hate all that horrible stuff or should i just appreciate the good things that came out of it?” (i’ve been debating this for years now with something personal and to this day, i’m not sure. i’m not sure if i’m more thankful for it all happening because of the few good moments it brought or if i wish none of it happened for the chance at some alternate reality of good things happening. anyways, i digress)
Kuvira stays silent for a moment, “When Hiroshi reaches out to you, tell him everything you said to me. Tell him everything you said when we were in your apartment after the presentation. He needs to know how you feel, he needs to know how he’s made you feel for years. Hiroshi can’t change if he doesn’t know what’s wrong and you want him to change, don’t you?”
Asami grips the steering wheel, staring at the red light in front of her. Her foot slowly pulses on and off the break, inching forward, waiting for the signal.
“I do.”
She feels the pit of her stomach churn, wondering if she could ever say all of it to her father. Kuvira isn’t wrong, she wants her father to change, but not in every way. Not in the business sense, not in the ambition sense, but rather, she wants a father, she wants to feel like the man she calls Dad really deserves the title. It pains her to say he hasn’t. The light turns green and Asami’s foot hovers over the gas pedal.
“So then you’ll tell him?”
For just a moment, her Satomobile doesn’t move but with a sharp, deep breath, Asami steps on the pedal. “I will.”
back again with our car metaphor/symbol thing! i really do love this idea of using the Satomobile as a way to show the relationship between hiroshi and asami, and how asami handles that relationship. this is from A Much Needed Conversation, some time after asami’s returned to future industries, calling kuvira in reluctant hope of knowing what her father is doing. they talk about asami telling hiroshi all this important stuff, stuff that asami’s been hesitant to bring up at all. (only after a breaking point did she finally let it out) this section has a mix of it all, diction, metaphor, along with some suspense by using line breaks. 
Her foot slowly pulses on and off the break, inching forward, waiting for the signal. / “I do.” - here’s a good example of suspense. (it continues through the rest of the excerpt) so, here was have asami, absolutely scared shitless, as she always is with her father and this subject of her life in relation to him. except, now with their time apart and what happened with the meeting, asami’s kind of got this “fuck it, whatever” mentality that goes a few different ways. “fuck it, whatever” my dad totally turned on me and was an asshole, i don’t care. “fuck it, whatever” we cut off ties, i can do whatever i want. “fuck it, whatever” i might very well do whatever it takes to get my dad back because i miss him but im also super scared as per usual. “fuck it, whatever” im not the one who needs to do anything to get him back so i won’t even think about it. there’s just a lot for asami to unpack here and in the setting of her father’s legacy, it’s even more for her. 
She feels the pit of her stomach churn...The light turns green and Asami’s foot hovers over the gas pedal. - more suspense. the light is green, green means go, but asami is waiting, thinking, hesitating. this also relates to the line earlier “waiting for the signal” well, this is the signal, the green light means go. but also, kuvira telling asami to tell hiroshi everything is also the signal to go, it’s like the push for asami to do it. she sees the signal, it’s go time, and yet “Asami’s foot hovers over the gas pedal” asami is still nervous, still scared to have this conversation with her father because she just doesn’t know what’s going to happen.
“So then you’ll tell him?” / For just a moment, her Satomobile doesn’t move but with a sharp, deep breath, Asami steps on the pedal. “I will.” - this mirrors just a few lines earlier. when kuvira asks asami to tell hiroshi everything while she’s waiting for the green light, her dialogue has a line break. for dramatic effect purposes, but also to show a sense of firmness. it’s by itself, it doesn’t need to be supported; asami really, truly means this. however here, her dialogue tag is connected to the narration its related to. even while asami confirms she’ll do this, that she’ll talk to her father, it’s hesitant, it takes a moment for her to say yes. 
what i really love is how much can be covered in such few lines. i’m not sure you all saw this when reading, ive always been very into reading/writing analysis, so i’m always looking at everything with a fine tooth comb; in my own writing, it’s no different. if you didn’t see this before, i hope learning it now gives you a different perspective if you ever choose to read my fic again :)
content (typing up loose ends, leaving breadcrumbs, additional info):
lets talk about korra
a lot happens for our girl in this last chapter. i’ll try to be concise, i tend to kind of ramble. i think what’s kind of cool, and i didn’t realize this beforehand, is that theres a speech from korra in each section. in A Well Deserved Jab, we see korra’s first time speaking at the support group meeting and what i really like about this is there’s no real big event that’s happened for her to finally be able to go up there. i feel like there’s always this one, life altering moment in stories when people need to deal with trauma or just work up the courage to do something, but in our case, it’s not like that. it’s the time and the care that’s slowly been working and helping korra for her to feel ready. it’s been a culminating process for her to get to go up there and for whatever reason, korra felt ready. let’s go a little into this speech
we finally learn more about the attack. we learn why korra’s always been picking at her wrists, the memory of the zip ties are still strong and she scratches at hopes of making the feeling go away. we also hear more about korra losing control that night, which in turn made her want to control everything with her life after the event. (lil fun-ish note while we talk about some deep stuff right now, last chapter’s first paragraph, about korra enjoying pour over coffees, was a purposeful choice. when doing pour overs, you have direct and absolute control over the coffee and how you make it, which gives korra a greater sense of comfort, because she knows she’s in charge when doing this.) my favorite part about this whole speech is right before the tail end of it, where korra says “sometimes surprises are better than plans” it was never in her plan to meet someone and find comfort and support and love and grow with it. (my headcanon is that korra just wanted to mull this over alone, sort of like in book four after the canon red lotus attack.) instead, korra met asami and the two clicked and korra could see a light at the end of her tunnel she thought would be pitch black forever. i really enjoyed getting to write this for korra.
korra’s second speech takes place in A Much Needed Conversation. another scene from the fic i wrote beforehand, i think somewhere between finishing chapter two and mulling over the decision to make the fic longer. this was sort of my cathartic, “lets yell at hiroshi for being sucky” moment. a lot of points are brought up here, all of which i believe are valid. it poses the simple, yet ever complicated question of “why?” i’ll get into hiroshi’s response in a later section, but what i’ll highlight about this speech is korra’s statement, “Now, I know that I don’t need to be saying any of this, because Asami can more than hold her own in any conversation, but I am doing this because you are hurting the woman I love, and I will not just let that happen.” its a declaration of love, love that i know is deeper than just romance but also deeper than just friendship. it’s admiration for asami being so strong, admiration for asami being so powerful and smart, korra says more about it in the speech. i tried it make so that korra wasn’t trying to control this situation with asami’s father, but rather, this was korra’s attempt at getting them to try and work something out. korra wants what’s best for asami, she wants her to get everything she wants. korra knows asami wants a better father and the most korra feels she can do is slap hiroshi (with her words) across the face and get him to realize that’s what asami wants.
korra’s third and final speech opens A Good Night’s Rest. we get just a little more about that night, i actually wrote this speech out loud. i just sort of put myself in korra’s place and started talking. my intent with this opening was to give more insight into how korra feels about asami. this is also a call back to the beginning of the chapter, about waking up asami if korra ever needs her. i took this action as a solidifying definition for asami to know “yeah, korra really does love me.” sure, in the last section, korra sort of did say it, but actions still speak louder than words. a lot of this final chapter was just showing how much korra has grown, i think i achieved that.
before we move on, i just wanted to say a lil bit about the bedroom scene where korra asks asami to wait for her. it’s a small confession that i think just says so much. another time here to show that romantic korrasami will happen, but it’s also just insight into korra and her thoughts about romancing asami. she wants it too, so badly that she almost gets into it before she’s ready. did i psych you guys out like asami, who thought she was finally going to kiss korra? it’s all in the lines, “I’m almost there...I know I am, Asami. I’ll be there soon, I need to be better. I need to be better for you.” and now, after thinking about it, i almost wasn’t gonna word it like this. what korra’s saying here is that her progression is only being done so that she can be good for asami, which, i didn’t want to convey. however, sometimes, that’s just how people think; they think, “if i have to do something, i gotta do it for someone else.” and so that’s what i’ve done with korra here, it’s just this mentality that she’s growing out of. it’s okay to have this thought process, good even, but not for every single thing you do. and i wanted korra to know that, which is why i love asami’s response, “I think you’re already great.” it’s just to remind korra, yes you can get better, you will get better. but not for asami, but for yourself, because asami already loves you the way you are.
kuvopal
breadcrumbs; that’s all i’ve really done so far with kuvopal is put lil breadcrumbs everywhere for the people who like the idea of the relationship to grasp at. is that mean of me? maybe, but i really love kuvira and opal as a couple so i wanted to keep hinting and hinting and hopefully getting you readers interested too. kuvopal has been sprinkled in since chapter two and i wanted to leave the readers with just a little ounce of hope
asami’s official introduction with opal heavily involves bolin, enough to the point where the two kiss each other on the cheek. now, of course, after reading the chapter, you know bolin and opal aren’t dating, but i wanted to stress you out a lil bit xD asami is weary of mentioning kuvira, so there’s not much we really get to see about how opal feels. opal may have wanted to talk when asami mentioned kuvira just before korra asked about spring break, but she didn’t. why didn’t she say anything? do you think she’s wanted to talk about kuvira? what about her major, child services and the foster care system, do you think kuvira influenced that, being she essentially was fostered by the beifongs? do you think we’ll ever find answers? *wink*
iroh
so obviously, we don’t like iroh. if there’s anyone in this story who doesn’t get a happy ending or a second chance, it’s him because he’s the worst. i realized we hadn’t seen too much of iroh in the previous chapters and this being the last one, i needed to really show just how not cool iroh is. the soccer game is very clearly an indication of just how conceded and rude he is. after the game, his conversation with asami is bad. he’s being invasive and inconsiderate of asami and he doesn’t care. same with at the restaurant. so, of course i wanted iroh to get his comeuppance and we have that by korra punching him.
going off of this, i didn’t want it to feel like iroh got a one and done kind of deal. he was incredibly awful to asami and his “friends” and i didn’t want this behavior to be taken lightly. so, i chose to make iroh just basically lose everything :) he loses his friends, possibly his job, i just KNOW izumi is disappointed as fuck that he’s acted like this and uncle iroh is rolling over in his grave that someone of his own blood would be like this. i wanted to address iroh in his own category because i just wanted you all to know that he is the only character not getting off easy. i really hope that how iroh’s situation turned out is good, as in, he got what he deserves.
hiroshi
hiroshi was an interesting character to go about in the final chapter. obviously, throughout the fic so far, hiroshi hasn’t been a standout father or boss. if i haven’t said it before, i’ll say it now: i always wanted hiroshi to have a second chance, ie, i wanted hiroshi to try to be better. for one, asami deserves it. she deserves a good parent who’s there for her and isn’t just obsessed with his job and the glory and empire he’s built up for himself. another reason, i believe everyone (within reason, *cough cough* not iroh *cough*) deserves a second chance. at the very least one more try, to be better, and if they’re actively trying, they’re doing better.
so hiroshi gets a bit of a wake up call from not only korra, after she so passionately scolded him in the name of her love for asami, but hiroshi also got one from asami directly. take your pick as to which conversation sparked hiroshi to call her to say goodnight. it’s an effort, and asami even says it herself, that after a while, the juice of it ran out. but kuvira said it too, it’s a start. what im trying to highlight is that no one is perfect and their ways of trying to change themself isn’t going to be perfect either.
and the kicker is hiroshi going to the south, without any other reason than to see asami. hiroshi only ever travels for future industries related business, but here he goes, without kuvira, to the south to see asami. i want to keep highlighting, asami says this is just the start. she hasn’t yet fully forgiven him, but she’s giving him the chance to be forgiven. that’s what i want to make most apparent on the topic of hiroshi and asami’s relationship: hiroshi is not getting off easy. but he’s trying, and in the words of the good place, that is what matters isn’t if people are good or bad, what matters is if they’re trying to be better today than they were yesterday. hiroshi, in this action, coming to the south, is trying to be a better father that day than all the days before. offering up the job offer from tonraq is hiroshi trying to be a better boss that day than the day before. staying in the south to spend real, quality time with his daughter is hiroshi trying to be better that day than every day before that.
it’s all in the trying.
honorable mentions:
in the og timeline, back when korrasami was going to be a confirmed couple in the fic, after returning from the south, asami was going to go to the cafe at one in the morning while korra was working and korra was going to make her an avatar. i liked the full circle aspect at the time but really, i much prefer what i’ve posted over that og timeline.
anything i would’ve wanted to change?
i think, overall, i maybe would’ve wanted to divide chapters up differently. as i continued writing, the three sections definitely could’ve supported themselves as singular chapters. especially this final chapter, which was almost 20k words. but, in the end, i am so proud of this fic and of myself for following through and finishing it.
i lost a bit of steam towards the end of this analysis, i’ve actually had this in my drafts for almost two months. but, i think what i wanted to say, i did, and as always, if you have any comments or questions, or just wanna talk to me, do it ! i love any and all commentary on my writing :)) 
thanks for reading the analysis if you did x
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littlebabycrybtch · 3 years
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oh my god im sorry but i HATE reading analysis discourse so fuckgin much. its so annoying and unnecessary and cruel bc per usual ableists just Scream over everyone and manipulate the view by focusing on the wrong points. disrespect towards this issue is never gonna work and yall would get that if you actually listened to the way the (usually nd) people felt about it and why, but ur too busy mocking them so you look good for consuming the Proper Medias tm. i mean you literally have to know this isnt productive, yall keep going bc you get a kick out of laughing at ‘unintelligent’ people.
‘uu ur teachers didnt oppress u by making u read to kill a mockingbird instead of the hunger games” ok listen 1. media you dont personally care abt can still definitely hold depthful value and be analyzed. oh my god lmao. the people who prefer ~that kind~ of media arent stupid and dont prefer easy thinking, its your own fault for Not looking into it yourself and just assuming its worthless, literally judging a book by its cover. LITERALLY avoiding the analysis skills you claim to have by assuming anything you read in highschool = smart, valuable and anything mainstream = stupid and useless. most books inherently contain symbolism and morals, a lot of these people CAN understand it, theyre just criticizing the inaccessibility of the writing that was forced on them academically. the people analyzing those medias instead of your favs are still taking in lessons even if they prefer to do it in a different format, i mean for instance THG is literally about fucking classism and racism and war you dumb hypocritical tunnel vision bitch, young adult media usually has a Lot of real world parallels in it that very much pertains to how teens see the world, thats the literal POINT, just cuz ur too elitist and dont respect children enough doesnt mean some books are ‘too stupid’ to analyze with any real social value, and 2. A BOOK NOT BEING EXCITING... OR EASY TO UNDERSTAND... IS LITERALLY SMTH VALID TO CRITICIZE IN MANY CASES, ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE GIVING IT TO CHILDREN.... if a kid says “this is boring/too long/uses words that i dont know, so i cant make any sense of it” that doesnt always mean theyre lazy or w/e, if its not a book made for kids (bc kids can understand mature themes but that doesnt. mean you can just throw all the other skills they arent experienced with yet at them, they still need writing tailored to them), Thats your first problem, but sometimes ur book is just fucking boring all together. a book can have as much symbolism as it wants, if its not there to open the mind and provide necessary depth, but to feel self important and make you feel self important for getting it, thats not a good book. and with books i do respect now like TKAM i remember outright saying, “i literally cannot read this and dont get it at all” at like 10 yrs old, and my teachers didnt do shit to explain it or help me or give me any skills at all, they were just like. :) keep trying!! according to your scores we know you can do it!!! so, i did not keep trying, i gave up, and i guarantee if it had been a few years later it would have been easier. if i had been given the opportunity to read stories with similar morals that were made for my age range that i WANTED to read, i guarantee i wouldve gotten so much more out of that. but i was literally DISALLOWED, bro if i grabbed a book that actually interested me, i was told i couldnt check it out at ALL unless it was in the ‘range’ i was assigned, which was college level since i was in 4th grade. so if you think i shouldve kept reading, im being unironic rn, you need to go get a degree, become a teacher, and if a kid or teen says to you what i said, sit them down and TEACH THEM without shame, and fight for better regulations of what reading levels can be pushed on what age groups. if lit analysis is this important to you, FUCKING TEACH IT PROPERLY, that is literally the ONLY REAL SOLUTION to the problem you have, NOT SHAMING the people who were ALREADY FAILED BY THE SYSTEM.
the problem is not ‘idiots think symbolism is stupid’ the problem has ALWAYS been ‘the education system is flawed and how and when children are taught certain skills is so corrupted and damaging, the children growing up with it cannot Help but struggle later in life, and your issue should be with the system”. like can i be real. learn how to Emotionally ~analyze~ posts from sad kids with mental illnesses saying smth as basic as “i wish i wasnt forced to read mature books as a child without any themes pertaining to me at all bc it hurt my already fragile motivations for learning :/” without your ass getting defensive over the classics. bitches stan ‘the door is red to symbolize anger’ but think thg is just a stupid dystopia love triangle book................ ur not even that smart like yall are just elitist like LITERALLY just elitist if you mock the values ppl see in other books and claim theyre too stupid to understand ~real books~. a fucking mickey mouse cartoon could hold the exact same moral lesson as a 1200 page novel written by a college professor of 30 years, like the Exact Same Conclusions CAN be drawn no matter how many words and analogies and metaphors are thrown on top!! for many those fancy details make it more enriching but its literally possible to get the same concepts from “EASIER” material, that is not Lesser it is ACCESSIBLE and it should be ENCOURAGED all the same. yall are gatekeeping and its stupid, if you actually want ppl to analyze media then you’d applaud how they analyze their passions even when you dont share it, not shame them for struggling with understanding other stories. this rly boils down to either ‘i hate ppls preferences and wanna make them feel stupid’ OR the ever so lovely ‘i hate whiny disabled ppl and kids who were pressured to the point of burnout, and wanna make them feel stupid’. its fucking exhausting. idc how you guys feel, you talk to hear yourselves talk and its all just talk and nothing helpful, your disrespect doesnt work bc its an echo of the root problem. for gods sake shut up already lmao
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janiedean · 4 years
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serious talk but i’m honestly stumped as to why jcs are the ones sending hate. i’m not saying anyone should send or receive hate but in every other fandom i’ve been in the ‘problematic’ shippers are generally chill and stay in their lanes, while being the ones getting sent hate. i’m not saying jcs never get hate but i’ve never seen taboo shippers be the ones doing the harassing before.
*shrug*
I had an anon addressing that at length in june so if you want that entire discussion it’s here https://janiedean.tumblr.com/post/185642667908/hello-im-sorry-for-disturbing-you-but-im-quite
that said I’ve been considering it for years bc honest I never was in the situation where I argued with **problematic shippers and like you can ask anyone in the theon corner who’s also in th/ramsay fandom that I’ve defended them countless times regardless of the OMG YOU’RE SICK people coming from (sadly) my side because they got trashed to hell and back, and like… I have it on record that even if I’m not into badwrong stuff I will defend people who ship it bc everyone should ship what they want. and everywhere even within this fandom **problematic shippers usually stay in their lane - I mean ffs I don’t think I’ve ever ran into anyone shipping idk th/ramsay or sansa/lf or whichever other badwrong ship being like that. and jcs get way less hate than any of them and half of that is jb people telling them to can it after they crosstag hate on purpose and then pearl clutch that ohmygod we’re so hateful, but if you want my two cents, under the cut bc it’s long and is2g if someone shows up telling me this is me accusing jc shippers as a whole of whatever I’m blocking on sight:
that part of jc fandom has done that since I remember being in this fandom, and with that part I mean that there’s a bunch of jc people who either multiship or are like sane people who aren’t partaking in fandom or left bc they didn’t want to be associated with that attitude
that part of jc fandom has spun a narrative since 2011 that if you didn’t like c. or thought j. was a better person than she was (or tyrion too) you were a closeted misogynist and like… a lot of those people were bnfs back in the day so basically criticizing c. and/or saying that jaime isn’t a bad person now automatically means that you’re problematic/a misogynist/hate women and no one countered it bc apparently saying that grrm is not necessarily misogynist for writing c. as a villain is a controversial opinion which means that if they coat their analysis in performative feminism they have the upper hand *shrug*
in this context c. being the abuser/bad person is downplayed/turned over on its head and no one recognizes that jc is indeed an abusive rship where j. is the abused/wronged part and you can see that because 90% of the meta published in this fandom villainizes j. in nonsensical ways just so it’s an argument that he’s as bad as c. if not worse and jc is seen as codependent toxic but not as abusive with power imbalance which means that it’s not seen as necessarily *problematic* or badwrong which means they don’t get the shit that everyone else shipping badwrong gets which… good for them bc no one should get shit for shipping what they want but basically they never were on the side of receiving anon hate all day long and they actually were on the side of sending it all day long
and like sorry but that’s factual, some people in that side of fandom were making burned ground around jb before S2 and the moment jb became popular they were on us/the ship like woah because obviously if people shipped jb they should buy the narrative where j. is redeemable/not a terrible person, and the moment people buy that narrative then theirs is automatically put in question, and so they started painting us as the problematic straight women who are homophobic bc they don’t think brienne is lgbt and want her with j. bc we want to fuck him and we’re projecting, which at the same time makes us sound like we’re making shit up and have no textual analysis to base stuff on when in fact we do, but again in this climate where saying c. is terrible = you’re a misogynist you’re automatically discredited the moment you say that and that j. isn’t as horrible as she is
also, since the people enabling that shit in jc fandom were bnfs (like there’s… one bnf in jc fandom who’s an a+ person and didn’t engage in shitting over us at least but everyone else enabling it was a bnf) it meant that the ‘let’s shit on jb shippers’ behavior was always condoned/let slide, so basically if anyone wanted to get popularity points being asses to us was the best way to go at it, and that’s why 90% of what’s remained of them rn is more interested in sending anon hate to jb shippers than producing content, and every single time it’s turning things over on their head making it sound as if we started it or anything of the kind. too bad that I’ve been here since before jb was a show thing and I can 100% remember the times people asked me privately questions aimed into guilttripping me from having jb as a sideship in t/hrobb fic and I was terrified of what would happen when I put it as a sideship in sfbd which is btw one of the reasons I dropped it for a year the first time round *shrug* (yeah it’s been long enough that I think I can say that *shrug*)
basically: I think that those specific jc shippers have…. issues in the sense that they’re caught in some very unhealthy internet presence thing in which they’ve been doing this thing since like 2013 if not earlier and now they can’t stop and the new ones who fall in that crowd follow suit and no one ever told them to can it or that it wasn’t okay or whatever, and now it’s too late to do anything except waiting for grrm to publish wow, have c. die somewhere j. is not and have the entire ‘they’ll die together’ discourse die and maybe they’ll stop. but like… again: i made the blog private for three months, I put it back to public, before I could even make the post saying it like three minutes after I went public again I got a jc anon. within the first week I had twenty. and they showed up the moment I put it back to public. just that is a level of unhealthy that should be enough to state whoever’s doing this needs help like very much because it’s like basically stalking, but hey, it’s all my fault because I said jc is an abusive rship and he’s not the abuser. *shrug* like: at this point I’m legit worried for them because this isn’t healthy and I really hope they get help because there’s no reason why they should come at me like that when I’m in my lane all the damned time except for the single occasions pointed out in the first linked post. the only explanation is that they can’t handle the fact that I’m existing and expressing an opinion they disagree with when I don’t even know them so if it’s the problem………. I really hope they get a grip. because it’s not healthy. period.
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unordinary-analysis · 5 years
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Episode 152
Honorable mentions:
Arlo’s gonna get his ass beat after this episode lmao
Okay okay I know this might sound whiney, but I refuse to believe that Remi never noticed low-tiers being bullied, but suddenly she walks into one being bullied in an empty hallway and being loud af. Like… what happened before? Would she just have walked right past them not noticing. It bothers me when things like this happen because no she wouldn’t, but it’s written like that idk iksduhjdsf
I love how oblivious Sera is
Lmao she only becomes suspicious of Arlo and John because Arlo was protecting her 
But why does she have the eyebags though… like lol im sorry does being powerless mean you sleep worse? She lives in a dorm with Elaine. She has nothing to be scared of at night haha
It really bothers me that the only reason that Seraphina finally believes Arlo is because Arlo beat up John like of all the things---
Even though I’m making this, I still love the way I’ve been running this blog recently. Please send in more asks! It makes me so happy to answer questions people actually have :)))
Also I’m just pretty trash at writing these.
I had to do an analysis for this episode. I just… had to.
Arlo:
    You know how recently literally every character has been telling Arlo that he can’t give up? That he’s weak for submitting to John? Yeah, well that’s bullshit. Elaine is stupid, I’m just going to say it. She lives in a world where problems can be solved by talking it out, like the girl is delusional. Remi, well Remi used to live in a world similar to Elaine’s, but now she’s more woke I would say. She still thinks that every problem has a solution and that the only way to win is to beat the competition. She’s a friendlier version of who Seraphina used to be. Blyke? He’s like Remi. Too caught up with winning. Blyke and Remi don’t stop to consider that sometimes the best solutions require giving in a little bit. I’m not even talking about compromises, just, I don’t know, accepting that you’ve lost and can’t win because if you don’t accept that, you’ll keep failing forever. They don’t realize that. Arlo does.
    But yeah. Arlo isn’t weak or defeated (though he is in the literal sense). By choosing to step down and submit to John, Arlo is securing the best outcome for Wellston as a whole, not just himself. He recognizes that by giving John the victory, he will resolve more problems than by just fighting back. Arlo knows that he should be striving for peace, not war. Arlo knows that the hierarchy can’t just disappear overnight, regardless of what John thinks. Hierarchy is natural. People follow those with more power. It’s not a set of rules, it’s instinct. 
    For time’s sake, I’m just going to use what Arlo said in this episode for evidence. He says (to Elaine), “I can’t keep dragging people into this. I’m the one who pushed John… So I’ll take responsibility for it. If dethroning me will put an end to his rampage… That’s fine.”
    Perfect. Well said. Wise. That last bit? Facts. Now there’s a good leader.
    I can’t stand Elaine in general (sorry guys), and this episode made me hate her more. She thinks Arlo is broken after he says this. Like… This is one of the wisest things that Arlo has said in such a long time, and you won’t even listen. Some of these characters seem to only hear the “I’ll let John dethrone me” and let all of Arlo’s reasons wash over their heads.
    When Arlo lets Joker dethrone him, the hierarchy isn’t going to end. Like I said in recent posts and actually in this one, people naturally follow people who are more powerful. I think Arlo knows this because I mean even old Arlo would know this. His whole thing is order. I don’t know. Not important. What is important is that John can’t actually get rid of the hierarchy. I still don’t understand how Rei did it. Like, yeah I understand the principles, but I don’t get how it worked. The ones who have more power can overpower others. Only an idiot would fight a battle they know they cannot win. Obviously, by siding with the more powerful, someone would have the most success. Obviously, being on the winning side is better. That’s why people follow those more powerful. That’s why the UnOrdinary world will never be rid of the hierarchy. I don’t know. My brain isn’t working right now.
    Also, other Arlo things: he’s become such a more thoughtful person because of John. Not like nice, though I suppose some would say he has been nicer. I just mean that he is now more aware of the consequences his actions have (actually every character has maybe i’ll make another post about that hm) and how his actions impact others. He’s not only understanding this now, but he’s also acting on it. Ksudjfbjsfwskwjfsf. Sorry, I’m just lowkey the president of the Arlo fanclub right now. 
    I’ve said all of this before lmao ssodfhskjdfn.
John and Seraphina:
    Okay, first of all, John is a great actor. Like, hpeter1 (hi :)) commented on my recent post saying they like John less because he told Seraphina a straight lie. That before, it was just deception through omission. Sorry, but I really can’t take this seriously. John’s whole character is lying to Sera. Like the whole not having abilities thing? Yeah. even if John didn’t lie to Sera a bunch, I mean… What was he supposed to say? ‘Yes, I’m joker’? I just… don’t get this. I don’t mean anything by disagreeing with you btw, you’re great :). But like I said. John is a great actor lmao (sorry I get off topic). I just wanted to address this.
    I said this in the honorable mentions and I will say this again: the way that Seraphina started to piece things together is… stupid. Like… She goes to herself ‘hm why is Arlo so mean to John’ then somehow that leads her to ‘aRLo muSt THiNk thAt jOHn CAN fighT bAck!” I just… I can’t… 
    As it is with most of these intense scenes, there’s not much for me to add R.I.P.
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(also the handful of you who like and comment on my posts regularly, there’s a special place in my heart for you)
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sherlockxreader · 6 years
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A Time Of Change - Chapter Three - The Fourth
Title: A Time Of Change Chapter Three: The Fourth Summary: Ava Bradford. Behavioral Analyst of the Miami Police Department. Or former Analyst after the events of the past force her to journey to England and take up a job away from the family she had created. Here, she struggles to keep to herself and her life quickly takes over as she readies for her future on Baker Street. Author: Alexa @alex-awesome1023 Words: 4023 (sorry, not sorry) Characters/Relationships: OC x Sherlock Warnings: Depression, Anxiety, Past Physical Abuse, Nightmares Author’s Notes: Yes I know this Chapter is late but i haven't been around a computer to be able to write or post anything so that's on me. But im really excited for everyone to read this. Ive been reading and seeing positive feedback and i am overjoyed with the results especially with the tags!!! Can't wait to see more of your comments and feedback! LOVE YOU GUYS!!!
Original Character Ava Bradford is inspired by Zoey Deutch. Enjoy!❤
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Finally arriving to Scotland Yard, you were surprised at how big the building was. The precinct in Miami was barely four stories whereas this building practically engulfed that plus more. Taking a moment to look around at the surroundings as you looked at the sizable sign, the text shining as it read “New Scotland Yard”, you shivered from the cold. It’s going to take some time to get used to this London weather. Not being able to stay out in the chill for too long, you quickly walked into the huge building and headed straight for the receptionist desk.
“Hi um, I’m here to see Detective Inspector Lestrade, please.” You said to the receptionist while rummaging through your bag trying to find your ID and badge.
“Name.”
“Ava Bradford” Still typing away at her computer not really paying any attention to you, you handed her your identification when a commotion from the entrance caught your attention. You see two people enter, or rather storm through the doors discussing something in harsh tones. The woman, a young black woman with dark curly hair in her late twenties, was fuming, her face pinched into a scowl and lips pursed. The man was around her age, his hair parted neatly down the middle and his face equally mad. I don’t like the vibe they’re giving off. I can practically smell the stupidity and arrogance. As they walk closer you happen to hear their heated conversation.
“I’m going to kill him! That freak has got some nerve to do that shit in the middle of a press conference. Unbelievable!” She yelped loud enough for both you and the receptionist to look up.
“Oh Sergeant Donovan, are you going up to see Lestrade?” The receptionist asked with a hopeful tone. You had a feeling that she didn’t want to get up off her own ass to go show you where to go.
“I have police reports to give him, why?” She questioned unmannerly, looking to you for a moment with an interest and then complete ignorance like you were a child. Sergeant Donovan made her way over to you both as the receptionist gave you back your ID and badge.
“Would you take Miss Bradford up to see him please?” She asked and you heard the plead in her voice; you metaphorically rolled your eyes. I don’t need anyone’s help. Donovan’s heels echoed through the lobby, the noise echoing ominously, the nameless man still following behind just a step.
They stood with you at the desk, blatantly judging all five feet and two inches of your casual appearance. The man was practically drooling as his eyes trailed up your body and down again; you forced yourself not to gag.
You noticed that Sergeant Donovan was taking a long look at your scuffed pair of classic converse, laced up with polka dot laces. Her expression morphed from a dismissing glance to a repugnant smirk. You knew just then what she thought of you; she thought you were a kid, a teen and someone easy for her to bully. You knew that this was because of your short height plus the laces. Donovan herself was about 5’5 and him about 5’11 so it wasn't that big of a deal really, you were used to being to smallest in the room at 5’2.
“Sure follow me.” Donovan jeered with exasperation in her voice. The man behind her didn't say anything, he just started with a smug grin plastered on his face. They both walked a little in front of you guiding the way. As you three came to the elevator you stopped causing the two to look back at you in confusion. As you looked up at the silver death box, you felt you heart skip and your hand start to sweat. You cursed to yourself.
“Can we, um, take the stairs? I’m trying to work on my cardio.” You blurted out with a small chuckle trying to sound as calm as possible. They both looked at you with confusion and disbelief.
“I would just take the lift, it’s on the twelfth floor.” She insisted as the doors opened and both her and the man stepped in. You looked up at it once more with internal grievance. It’s not worth it Ava, just suck it up. You got it the elevator and were immediately filled with regret. As the two of them discussed what you assume was dinner plans, you decide to take your mind off the death box by figuring out more about the two officers.
Sally Donovan; works for the Metropolitan Police Service as a Detective Sergeant judging by her badge and attitude, she has a huge ego, very rude and hates to be told wrong. That will be fun. She has un-showered hair and worn clothes not more than a day old and is wearing men's deodorant. She’s had a night out. Dull… Seeing the name clip tag on the man’s pocket, you read him.
Phillip Anderson; works for Metropolitan Police Service as a police officer and forensic scientist. Snarky, stuck up, rude, loves to prove people wrong and a perv. He's got the whole package. he’s married going by the ring but I can't tell if it’s happy. A blue buttoned down shirt but un-showered. Taking a sniff, you are taken back by the strong powerful mixture of men's cologne and deodorant but you find that the deodorant, it’s the same as Sergeant Donovan. A colleague scandal.… How fascinating.
You giggled at your discovery and the drama that could come with it, causing both Donovan and the man, Philip, to look at you like you were insane.
“What's so funny that’s got you twisted in knots?” Phillip asked bitterly, his comment making you pause as you tried to figure out the meaning. I keep forgetting that I’m in London with people with British accents, weird being the only American sometimes.
“Oh nothing really. Ignore me.” You managed to say with a steady voice. You could feel your lungs tighten and burn from trying to keep your breathing steady, your heart quickening with nerves with every beep of the elevator letting you know that you've climbed a floor level. Reaching for your necklace, you took a deep breath to calm yourself and expel the anxiety within your core.
Finally feeling the box stop, you ushered towards the door rather quickly but not to the point of abnormality. You instantly felt better after getting out and you let the fresh air into your lungs with a deep breath. That wasn't so bad.
Donovan and Phillip pass by you without a second glance and you follow the two down the corridor to an office. You read the name on the door and desk laminate. Detective Inspector Gregory Lestrade. As you walk in, you see a man in his late 30’s or early 40's with graying hair sitting at the desk drinking coffee, going by the smell. He looked up from his paperwork and flashed a weak smile.
“Hello, you must be Detective Bradford.” He said as he stood from his chair and reached to shake your hand. As you went to shake his hand, Donovan choked on the air.
“This ‘kid’ is the new Behavioral Analysis Detective!?” She barked, loud enough for the whole floor to hear.
“As a matter of fact, I am, Sergeant Sally Donovan and you should be quick to hold that tongue of yours considering the circumstances. I suggest you get back to trying to solve these suicides  instead of spending the whole night out on the town. And Mr Anderson, please try spending sometime with your wife and not with the other woman.” You raised your brow and shifted your eyes between the two then turning around to shake Greg’s outstretched hand. “Oh and by the way, not that it matters but I am twenty-five, soon to be twenty-six and I do not get any bigger than this, so watch who you call ‘kid’.” You added not even bothering to look at them as you sat in the leather chair across from Greg whose jaw was hanging loose.
You can almost feel the daggers going through the back of your head from both parties. Without saying another word, Donovan stormed off with Anderson in toe. “Your file said you were good but not like that.” You looked up to Greg, who sat there with wide eyes.
“Oh please they were open books as far I can see. It was obvious.“ You said in an uncaring tone with a quick smile, crossing your leg over the other.
“It wasn't obvious to me.” He sat down in his chair, still looking at you with bewilderment.
“That's because you weren't looking hard enough. Shall we continue?” You smiled politely at him as he leaned back into the plush of his chair, his coffee mug raised to his lips as he drank. Little did you know he was thinking of his old Consulting Detective friend and how he is going to love watching you make him squirm.
You and Greg, as he insisted you call him, his casual demeanor a surprise to you, had talked for a while about the case and of how things worked around the Yard. Greg was finishing up the paperwork to get you in the system as you sat on your chair, your phone in your hand as you looked at the weather around the area to pass the time. You wanted to know when it was going to snow, but as you looked at the weather radar, your phone buzzed, alerting you of a text. It was your sister Lyra.
You were about to read the text when a knock at the door pulled you from your phone. You looked behind you towards the source of the sound where there was a woman standing behind the door frame, poking her head into the room. “Mr. Lestrade?”
“Yes Natalie?” He turned his head towards the woman as she stood out from behind the wall, her hands fidgeting in front of her. Why is she so antsy?
“There’s an urgent call for you on the phone.” She said, still fidgeting with her fingers. You couldn’t help the deductions that began to pop in and out of your head. Young woman in her early-mid twenties. Telling by her body language she is uncertain and flustered. Why? Her clothes are flirtatious and womanly to show and hug her curves. Her makeup looks to be refreshed and she’s just re-applied perfume, a sickly sweet floral concoction, probably from a local pharmacy. She’s trying to show off, but to who? Her eyes are dilated and targeted at Greg, who is looking at the paperwork, slightly ignoring her presence. Final deduction; she has a crush on the Detective Inspector, a crush that is clearly not mutual. You beamed to yourself as you sit back in the chair.
“Ok, thank you Natalie, I’ll be right there.” He replied looking to her for a moment. You caught a glimpse of her face as she exited and retreated back to her desk. She was beet red. You turn your head back to Greg, who was standing from his desk. You stand along with him.
“So I think you’re pretty much set up and ready to go. You don’t have a lot of paperwork for now since it’s your first day and as for now you're on call until you get more settled.” He started walking towards the door.
“Ok, that sounds great. I can’t wait to get started.” You bubbled with a cheeky grin. You were so happy to be here and help people by doing what you did. “Thank you again so much for this opportunity Detective Inspector.” You added with genuine smile walking out the door with him.
“Please, call me Greg and no problem. Welcome to our division Detective.” He muttered over his shoulder walking toward the horde of desks. You turn around and made your way opposite Greg to the death box as you decided to be brave and take the elevator again. You feel Sally and Anderson’s eyes piercing your back as you headed towards the elevator. What is their problem?
Down in the lobby once more, you made your way out the door, thinking about what you could do to pass some time. You had thought of going back home and unpacking but then your aunt popped up and you realised that you still hadn’t seen her yet. She was going to kill you for not seeing her right away. As you waved down a taxi you noticed that a police car had pulled up in front with haste. You furrowed your brow with confusion until you heard someone call your name out with urgency behind you, the pieces falling into place as you turned to see Greg coming out of the building.
“Ava!”He had his coat on and was approaching you fast, his face creased and plastered with worry and seriousness. Something is up. Another murder.
“Where?”
“Brixton, Lauriston Gardens and this one left a note. Will you come?” He continued, not bothered by the fact that you knew it was another suicide.
“Are you kidding me? Three, now four impossible suicides and all the same cause and now a note. Is it my birthday already?!” You blurted out not waiting for him to respond. As you both get in the police car , you hear a chuckle coming from him. “What?”
“Nothing, you’re just going to really like who is coming to help with the case.” He added from his side of the car. You were too immersed in your own thoughts to really bother asking him who the mystery person was but your answer soon came when you realised where you were headed; Baker Street.
“Let me guess, it’s the great Sherlock Holmes? That's your help?” You said mockingly in a British accent. Greg seemed to be amused and mocked hurt at your awful impression.
“He’s a consultant and a genius. He can be a real pain to be around but he’s a great man. Maybe one day he might be a good one.” He implied not breaking eye contact with the road. You didn't exactly know what that meant, but the look on his face told you that he wasn't lying. This Sherlock keeps getting more interesting as the day goes on. At leased you get to pop into see Aunt Martha.
As the car stopped you turned your full body over to Lestrade and asked with a pleading look. “Can I go in with you?”
“Uh, sure?” His eyes narrowed with confusion as to why you wanted to go in or why is was necessary to ask but he didn't argue. Both of you get out of the police car and you basically hopped out with joy. He couldn’t believe that you were so much like Sherlock that it scared him a bit. You looked up at the building opposite yours and you notice the man at the window on the second floor, looking at you. Your head tilted in curiosity as to who it was, or more like as to why he was looking. Pulling your sight away from the window, you followed Lestrade inside.
He didn’t bother to knock, which struck you as odd, and he bounded up the stairs taking two at a time. You stayed downstairs to see if your aunt was in but before you could, you heard footsteps coming from the stairwell. It was an old woman in her seventies she was wearing a purple dress that tied in the middle and a newspaper, a similar style to that of Mrs. Turner. You loved that color and knew from the family pictures that Lyra had shown over the years who the woman was.
“Aunt Martha?” She looked up from her skirts, which she was holding lest she tripped on them, and caught your figure at the bottom of the stairs. She paused in her stride before recognition made itself apparent on her face, her eyes brightening and a smile appearing upon her lips.
“Ava! Hello love!” She asked as she came closer to you pulling you into a loving hug. “How are you dear? How was the flight? Would you like something? Tea maybe?” Aunt Martha pulled back from you, her face now washed with concern over you. “I’m alright thanks. The flight was good long, but good but the train ride was tiring. But I’m working right now so I dont have much time to talk but I just wanted to see you and tell you I was here. I only got here a couple of hours ago.” You said with a cheeky smile, holding her hands in your own. The last time you saw her was three years ago at a Christmas dinner. It was the first time the whole family was together and knowing that the Bradford family had English heritage, you couldn't help but think how lucky you were to have a family like this one, knowing how bad some kids could get it. You of all people should know. You always loved the English language, everything was always so beautifully said even if it was an insult.
“We’ll just have to catch up next time then won’t we? I hope Mrs.Turner is treating you well. Has she told you about Sherlock yet?” She asked, with her hand over her mouth trying to hide the giggle.
“She mentioned him to me not even five minutes into the flat. The old women seems to get a kick watching your flatmate.” You laughed out, your aunt tries to hide her laughter with a playfully stern grin, lightly hitting your arm with the newspaper she had with her. “Be nice.” When her giggles couldn’t be contained you both laugh like school girls. Hearing footsteps coming down the stairs, you both quieted but still smiling like mad men. Seeing that it was Lestrade, he gave you a look to let you know that it was time to go. You nodded at him letting him know you got the message. “Ok, Aunt Martha I have to go but I will be back. We can have tea later.”
“Alright love. Be safe.” She waved at you as she headed back up the stairs. You were heading out the door you heard a yell from up stairs, the deep baritone of the voice rumbling through the walls with its volume.
“Brilliant!” It was a voice filled with excitement and you smiled as you closed the door on your way to the crime scene.
----------------------------------------
You arrived at the crime scene with the knowledge of the victim given to you from a text in Greg’s phone. Jennifer Wilson according to the credit card found at the scene. Some kids found her not too long ago when they were ...Why kids be here of all places?
You headed up stairs without waiting for anyone, passing Sally at the entrance, ignoring the sneer she sent your way. A couple people from forensics tried to get you to put on a blue contaminant prevention suit, however you refused and stepped past them anyway, much to their annoyance.  Like I’m going to mess up the scene. Idiots. Half way up, you realized that you didn't have any gloves and knowing what you do about Anderson, he would surely have a fit upon seeing your gloveless hands. You would prefer not to have to talk to him for more than necessary. Getting to the bottom of the stairs, you hear Sally’s voice come in over the radio that was left on the table. “Freak’s here. Bringing him in.”  
“Freak?” You asked yourself, feeling an old pinch in your chest. Hearing Sally call someone that just made your blood boil. Nobody should be called a freak in any circumstance.
You heard Anderson come out of the room upstairs and, looking up the stairwell, you catch the look of pure disgust on his face as he furiously walked down the stairs, passing you without so much as a glance. You followed him out but kept to the shadows of the doorway. You watched as a very tall man with ebony curls and a belstaff coat approached the building. You couldn’t help but stare. He was... beautiful. You knew who he was by his cheekbones, it was the consultant. Mrs.Turner was right. Those cheekbones could kill. Turning your attention towards the table of forensic gear you could still hear Mr. Holmes talking to Anderson.
“I'm not implying anything I’m sure Sally came by for a nice little chat and just happen to stay over.” The deep mellow voice said making you freeze and your eyes go wide with realization. You covered your mouth to try to stop the bubble of laughter in your throat but it was no help. “And I assume she scrubbed your floors going by the state her knees.” He finished making you burst. It was loud and you knew that everyone could have heard it but you didn't care. You had tears in your eyes from holding the full laugh back. Oh my god, I can't believe he said that out loud!
Grabbing a pair of gloves you bounded up the stairs, wanting to get a look for yourself before this consulting detective came in. You entered the room seeing the body laying face down. The first thought that came to your mind was less a thought and more of an obvious statement. Pink.
[Sherlock point of view]
After Sherlock deduced Anderson's affair with Sally, he heard a burst of laughter from the building, smiling at the fact that someone else knew. With John close behind, the pair entered the building, meeting Lestrade at the door.
“I can get you two minutes.”
“I may need more.” Sherlock replied going toward the kitchen area.
Looking towards the staircase he caught a glimpse of a beige coat and strange pair of polka dotted laced converse. Narrowing his eyes at the sight, he put it off, assuming that it was nothing of import. Lestrade was by the table and he held out a suit of the most ghastly blue to Sherlock, waving it a little for him to take.
“You'll need to put this on.” He handed one to John as well and seemed taken aback by the new presence. He looked at Sherlock with raised brows, then to once more to John then back again. “Who is this?“ He asked bemused and pissed off.
“He’s with me.” Imbecile.
“Yeah but who is he?” He pestered putting on a blue cover up.
“I said he’s with me.” Sherlock turned his head like a whip and glared at Lestrade.
“Fine. At least put one of these on.” He asked which Sherlock, in return, ignored. I heard the frustration in his sigh, huffing my breath in humour.
“So where are we?” Sherlock asked as they made our way up the staircase.
“Upstairs. Jennifer Wilson according to her credit cards, we're running them for contact details. Hasn't been here long, some kids found her.” Lestrade informed the two in front of him as they reached the room, stopping when they saw someone hunched down near the lady in pink. She was… an anomaly, as Sherlock had immediately thought. There was no other way to describe her he found.
Her small stature, childish laces and mundane appearance were all boring to him. Insignificant. Nevertheless, there was… something. But what? She’s obviously in this line of profession, expertly prodding at the body, turning the victim’s collar inside out and over again. Now there’s an interesting thought. The collar could indicate rain and wind, even snow if she came from the north, which would mean - oh, the girl’s traveled. She had moved from one side of the body to the other, now getting a view if her face, he could seem to pull his eyes away. She was different and interesting enough for him to be absolutely... captivated.
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