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#im self aware and i am not free..

mainfaggot · 5 months

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the oomfs watching my slow descent into madness. zay mainfaggot, who was once a crazy insane midzymoa, a yeonjun 4 lyfers stan, a ryujin luvr since mixnine, and a closeted sunoo akgae since the i-land days, now becoming lukewarm ... even open... to being perceived as an epipen (enhypen) stan... despite the blatant heterosexual nature of their fanbase and the ratio of hits to misses in their discog being 40:60 (unlike txt who have a showstopping ratio of 20:80) ... and well... the fact that they have 1 actually good vocalist (sunoo) (once again, txt has 2.5 bc tyun/kamal/yj when he's doing r&b songs)

#im self aware and i am not free..#whatever im a sunoo enjoyer i refuse to call myself an engene i will die before calling myself that.#like yes i also like jungwon and sunghoon even tho the latter is painfully bland bc well hes funny okay like hes so silly. sorry!#this is so tragic i should just accept that im a casual stan atp. like if u like half the group and 2/3 of their songs ur a casual stan.#Everytime i type atp i think of ATP and ADP cell biology will never leave me alone im so sleepy also #wait to clarify 2/3 meaning two thirds #ok gn #z.post

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mamamouches · 11 months

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SAGAU except they're aware of what goes on when you go into the character menu???

Particularly when they pray as you hop onto the artifacts menu to raise em, whether is for for them, another character to which some might try to purposely mess the rolls up bc oops! looks like they can't use that now! :) guess they'll have to wait., or just to make space for more bc HOW IS YOUR ARTIFACT STORAGE FULL ARE YOU OKAY??? Σ(・∀・；)

Whenever you raise their artifacts they kinda feel bad if it rolled into the wrong subs when you raise it with them and would either apologize or say that it'll roll better on the next one, they know it will!! (it did not 😔)

That or they don't bc they felt silly and wanted to spite you so guess you gotta do a few more runs to try again teehee 😗👉👈 they eventually roll a ridiculously amazing artifact at some point, but just this once!

(or y'know the opposite where there's always this one character you always use to raise artifacts bc they always get the best rolls and best subs? yeah imagine them celebrating w you at how good the stats rolled too!!)

Kinda like how if you try to make gear in tkrb there's a chance of it shattering (therefore failing) instead of being able to create one and when that happens the character you brought with you for those will say things like "oh no, it broke! i'm so sorry :(" or "i-it's okay!! let's try again...!" or you just flat out hear sobbing noises bc your new feather low rolled all 5 into defense FLAT 😭 BASICALLY THAT YEAH

#ଘ(੭ˊᵕˋ)♡ m.daydreams #this is the silly thoughts tag that will also be just sagau stuff if not hat guy lmao #genshin impact #genshin sagau #self aware genshin #its like 1 am and i frantically just wrote this down before i forgor so uhh yeah 👍 HAHA #for me i avoid rolling artis with kuni bc if it's not for him he will DESTROY IT HZHHFJF #like honey chill its just a flower for kaveh hes not replacing u bby 😭#he did roll a 35% cmdg flower a few posts ago for xiao though so i think he's cool w him #best artifact roller is zhongli no question abt that!#he rolled a bunch of 30%↑ subs he's so epic for that fr HAHAHD #so good his artifacts never got replaced (only borrowed) to this day im goign to cry #left it in tags bc idk where to shove that in the post so YEET #feel free to add onto this in asks or stuff btw!!#its fun to imagine what other things our charas can comment on should they become aware of the stuff we do :D #no idea how to write but hey we doin things!! woohoo #i got more stuff i wanna write down but again its late sooo see ya!! night nighttt

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yourfavepookiebear · 5 months

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*loudly banging cooking pans together*

REQUESTS ARE OPEN POOKIES

ISTG POOKIES WHY IS MY INBOX EMPTY 👹

HUH ?? MAKE A REQUEST POOKIE BEAR IM IN UR CLOSET I KNOW YOU HAVE TIME FOR ME AND MY B.S SO HURRY UP IM GONNA FALL ASLEEP IN BOREDOM SMH

Also, don't check under your bed pookie 😘

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soullessjack · 6 months

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it’s rlly interesting to me that so many villains try to manipulate jack by saying that they’re just trying to control him or that they taught him to fear his powers and that he’s only kept in the bunker as a prison to protect the world basically , and pretty much every time he either ignores it & doesn’t respond . but he also doesn’t outwardly disagree (Duma asked if they’d taught him to fear his powers and he fucking shrugs ) and on one hand

> it’s crazy how often the writers will try and hint at their dynamic being kind of fucked up or question if it’s still on a “you only care about what he can do for you” basis — like when jacks own psychotic hallucination insisted that he was only ever their pet monster weapon muscle whose only value came from being useful — only to never go anywhere with it, never have jack actually take that question into consideration

but on the other if we’re assuming that jack is like wordlessly agreeing that he is in fact being contained and controlled and isolated from the world as a safety precaution by the people he explicitly views as both his fathers and his friends? and that he’s supposedly just okay with all of that ?? because he knows that he’s legitimately dangerous? what am I supposed to do with this? what were the writers trying to do with it??? why didn’t they actually do something with it?

#questions I ask every single day because I am autistic and neurologically bonded to jack in ways that cannot be understood #spn #jack kline #sam and dean #castiel #tfw2.0 #team free will 2.0 #Jack’s self awareness of just how destructive he can be is something we do not talk about ever #remember the last holiday draft of him and dean in the dungeon #/ jack: ‘this is my fault.’ dean: ‘what?’ [dean turns. seeing jack is having a moment]#/ jack: ‘THIS. maybe she’s right. what if I lose my soul again. or…lose control…or—’#/ dean: ‘hey. stop okay. just stop. you’re not going to lose control.’#/ jack: ‘I’ve done it before. since then nothings been the same. you…sam…’#LIKE ????#I am so fucking crazy right now it’s all making me crazy #why did they get rid of that. why did they get rid of jack actually expressing that he is in fact afraid of causing more damage again #WHY DO THEY GET RID OF EVERYTHING THAT WOULD MAKE HIM MORE INTERESTING IM GONNA PUKE BLOOD #anyways :3c #I need to bite something

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thatdeadaquarius · 3 months

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I have a random idea for some sagau crack loosely based on my dynamic with my friend so Im giving it to you because I have been enjoying your sagau language stuff :D

Imagine there are two readers that are two different people. Like, not as in clones they are just two separate people that are rlly good friends on earth. They both really like genshin and play the game, and they both have self aware teyvat citizens. Reader 1 is a whale. They invest a l o t of money on the game, have all the characters, and all the characters have five star weapons. They are like the usual sagau reader you see. They have used up so much money on getting all of the characters, and I mean A L L of them, best weapons, constellations and put a lot of care into it. The place where they really get to show off is their knowledge and love for the lore, and are really invested into it and read all of the artifact descriptions and books. They know about primordial one, the four shining shades, random useless facts about items and often rant to reader 2 about their theories. Their quest bar is always empty because they did them to check out the lore of the game, and are always searching for more lore. They basically play everyday and are always reacting and talking to the characters out loud, unaware that they can hear them.

Meanwhile, Reader 2 is a f2p who is only interested in the archon quest lore and the lore of their fav characters. Because they are f2p, their options are limited so there is some blatant favoritism. They choose their fav character to save up for, and then pull for them. After they get the character they want, they will no longer pull and save up from there. Because of this, they only have like 5 five stars and only have zero five star weapon. Their favourite character is their main(*cough* wanderer *cough*), and unlike reader 1 who uses all of their characters regularly, reader 2 sticks to this character for most of their gameplay unless they need to use someone else. However, reader 2 takes almost an entire month to finish building a character, because they go overboard with the artifact stats. You would expect to normally have a 50 180 crit ratio, but reader 2’s dps characters always, and I mean ALWAYS have 50 200 crit ratio or more. Like, their main (it doesnt have to be wanderer but Im putting him here anyways) has 70 and 200 crit ratio, is crowned, full 4 pc best in slot, and is even crowned and faruzan only needs like 200 er but reader 2 gave them 300. (Im totally not putting this here because this is what I did/j) Reader 2 is also the type to never speak while gaming, so the first time they spoke everyone turned it into a national holiday to be celebrated. They also play a lot less than player 1. Player 1 plays everyday while player 2 plays for a month straight and then takes a long break to wait for the content to pile up.

So these two gremlin besties are always speaking with each other, and are always on coop. Whenever player 1 needs help making team comps or building characters, they just ask player 2 for help. And whenever player 2 needs help understanding the lore of the game, they ask player 1. But all I can think abt is the first time they cooped. Imagine player 1 was using childe and then when the coop starts, both childe and wanderer are very confused as to wtf is going on. Like, childe is confused because he sensed a strange aura coming form them like whenever someone gets controlled by reader 1, and wanderer is confused because reader 2 seemed so excited that they were talking, but its just childe? Reader 2 always skips childe’s banners.

Thats it lol, hope this wasnt too long.

Not long at all! Or more like, I like long asks so feel free to share! :D

IM SO SORRY ITS LIKE MONTHS LATER TO GET TO YOU I PROMISE I LOVE UR STUFF AND AM SUPER EXCITED TO SEE IT,

IM JUST SLOW AND GOOFY 😭😭

Said friends in genshin like: ^^^

this kinda inspires me/reminds me of @mists-reading-nook soldier/poet/king post, you should check xe stuff!! Gave me brainrot to this day tbh, like im imaging how that “3rd King style of worship” would look like even now lmao ive been down bad 😭

☆

Sun: 2 Readers! (as desc. above), (you/they/them)

Orbit: Headcanons-ish

Stars: wanderer/childe, mentions of others i forgot to focus on any one character or nation :/

Comets & Meteors: Content Warnings: mild cussing language, & Trigger Warnings: none known.

Please comment if I missed any. /gen

dual symbolism everywhere, obv you both thought “for the twins” but it just kept getting out of hand the more the game updated over the months lol

like shrines/temples/churches showing up more often in new countries/areas and always identifying the same 2 gods

obv the for-the-lore player picked up on it first, and by the time the trickle-down effect happened, where characters/NPCs were outright talking about these gods, the 2nd was asking the lore knower to explain lol

the 2 gods kept getting referred to by a few names, like “The Soldier and the Scholar” or “The Sage and the Warrior” or “The Keeper and the Pursuer” etc.

after awhile of comparing both of your games, you realize that some vision users/gods tend to use the soldier/warrior/pursuer titles more often when talking about one of you, and the other gets the sage/scholar/keeper more often

u both get excited, maybe its bc you chose diff travelers or some other reason, but when u try and post abt it or otherwise ask other players u get a lot of negatives/”hasnt happened for me”s??

u both just think the games glitched or some dev is playing a prank on you two maybe,

it gets weirder when u both realize the lore player be over here getting random gifts from all the characters in the mail all the time

and just as grinding players like “ :’( my favs don't like me?? but they have the best artifacts and maxed friendship levels..”

they get flooded with multiple gifts from their main characters, most of which benefit the grind tbh lmao (like a bunch of cheaper materials or crystals to level up artifacts/weapons or to ascend that character = no more slaughtering every samurai on sight for their handguards or collected a fuckton of those blue layered mushrooms for wanderer)

god u were both grateful to this glitch ngl, it saved a lot of dumb misc tasks and was just a nice touch

no but the amount of confusion inside the game from when u first started playing together, like each of ur games began with stuff abt 1 god, then as u co-oped moved onto 2 gods (like said at the beginning)

the lore player is blabbing away like you do, which begins to be heard by the other player’s game world

like it starts as whispers in battle, then all the time, then a quiet convo in the background all the time, until they can just hear u out of earshot esp word for word when they focus!! at first the vision-users/gods got all excited bc their god was speaking!! finally!!! until I'm sure they heard narration that didn't fit/it was there sometimes even when their god’s presence wasn't?/voice sounded “off” to them/didnt fit their god…??

ok ik u were joking abt the national holiday,,, but I’m not. 😈

THE FIRST WORDS 2ND SPOKE BEING IN A PROPHECY, REGARDLESS OF WHAT IT IS THEY SAY.

Player 1, playing as Childe, steals a singular (1) sweet flower from Player 2, who has Wanderer out:

P2: “I seriously hate you. Listen to what I’m saying, I can’t stand you.”

(Wanderer panicking that its abt him- Childe freezing bc he managed to piss off a god that feels as powerful as his own- the PROPHECY LMAO- )

P1: “… you miss me.”

(everyone else: 💥vine boom sound 💥😦😨😰???)

P2: “I hate you.”

P1: “You miss me and you love me, why must we fight??”

(everyone else: 💥vine boom again💥🤨🫠??…)

P2: “I hate you-”

P1: “-we gotta good thing going on, you and I, why must we tussle??”

(everyone else: 💥yet another vine boom💥 💀💀)

(the absolute deep anxiety/pure confusion as the two harbingers heads just ping pong back and forth towards the voices lmao)

u two scare the shit out of any characters u do this with lol

they do get used to it as u talk, and the characters even manage to interact (thru hacking magical shenanigans and discord)

to send thank you gifts to player 1 for getting player 2 to talk more lol

along with sending copies of any lore books that player 2 has gotten that player 1 hasn't!

and it becomes common/tradition to exchange gifts like this to thank or appreciate the other god, like player 1 characters sending thank you gift copies of rare materials or ascension stuff that player 1 had that player 2 didn't (esp making sure to send during resinless hours lmao)

overall, 10/10, whats better than 1 god that plays one way? 2 gods that compensate for each other and now u have 2x the worshippers

(i wonder how meeting alternate versions of themselves would go, bc id like to headcanon that each of ur behavior towards them/ur unique influence has changed them a bit comparing, like they arent carbon copies anymore, not like they used to be…)

☆

hey sorry for slowing down guys!!

i just feel bad its taken me forever to get to these asks, so i wanted to take what time i could lately and charge thru them so i could spam post lol

I've also been working on fics! so that's delayed things by a lot, bc fics take longer to “respond to” than short asks or replies

my poor bsd fic

Anyway thank you so much for sending this in!!! I'm so sorry i took forever to get to it, and i hope u enjoyed response/my brain shitting this out lol

have a good weekend!! :D

Safe Travels Anon!!

💀♒

If you wanna join a taglist, DM me what for! "Pspspsss, please tag me for [All SAGAU posts, Only SAGAU Language AUs, diff fandom, etc.]!"

(If you ever wanna drop, just DM me! "No more taglists/[specifically this AU/fandom] please!")

♡the beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk / @the-dumber-scaramouche / @chocogi / @fallen-starr / @areaderofbooks / @devilangel657 / @esthelily / @justinsomniachild / @nanithefuck / @questionotmystopit

@kiyomi-uchiha777

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itstheghostofmypast · 1 month

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Pollen Love (1/2)

Florist Choi San x (F)Reader

Summary: The world had always been a bit too dull for the florist, a bit too rough for his petal like soft heart, stomping on it whenever anyone would deem fit - but was she any different? If so, why was she out of his reach, why did the world pluck away the flower that was supposed to put his bouquet back together?

Genre: Hurt + Comfort

Warnings: heavy self-criticism, violence, language

Rating: Mature

Word Count: 4.3k

Est.Read Time: 25 min

Networks: @cromernet @k-labels @san-network

Banner: @cafekitsune

A/N: A two part treat till I work on my main series.

"Woah there, what happened- did the boss come at ya, at like-" he turned to check the giant clock at the opposite end of the floor, "8 am- you want me to go knock some sense into him?" he asked, pulling out a dozen tissues from the 'free tissue box' and pressing them on her nose, signalling for her to blow, only for her to smack his hand, and point at something.

"What- oh" he stared at the bouqet of blue roses wrapped in a pastel yellow paper, all tied up with a with bow. "Wait- he made a move on you?"

Snatching the tissues she blew in an extremely ungraceful manner before throwing them away, "You idiot, they're your birthday gift, take them away before I die."

His fingers touched the soft petal of a rose, smiling at the sweet gesture before turning around to hug her only to be smacked across the face with a file. Letting out a mixture of a whimper and a growl he stared at her, hand on his now pink cheek, "So many mixed signals."

"I'll kill you, wash your hands! You know im deathly allergic to pollen!" protesting she sat down on her swivel chair, crossing her legs and glaring up at him. "And what mixed signals, you should be thankful I didn't shove them up your a** for not inviting me to your birthday party."

Letting out an exaggerated fake gasp he knelt down infront of her, placing a hand on his heart, "And for that I am truly sorry, my bestfriend since childhood, but please understand how the guys wanted me to go with them to a certain club where I couldn't possibly take you."

"You shouldn't be celebrating your birthday at a strip club anyway, it's extremely unhygienic," she mumbled, glancing at the flowers and then back at him on the floor on his knees, the usual Wooyoung theatrics.

"Yet, so entertaining -"

"You're disgusting."

"But a simple man."

"Get out of my cubicle".

That was three days ago, today was a Thursday, a regular, boring Thursday so did Wooyount expect to find another bouqte in his cubicle, no. Did he find one, yes, this had been going on since Monday and at this point Yunho and a few on the others floor had begun to assume there was something going on between the two. So, like any best friend, he decided to confront her during break.

Turning off the faucet she shook her wet hands over the sink, looking in the mirror to check up on her makeup, her ears picking up the sound of the door opening, "There you are!"

Turning to look at the all too-familiar voice before letting out a shriek and throwing the bar of soap at him, as he ducked skillfully, being all too aware of her habit of throwing things at him.

"THIS IS THE LADIES RESTROOM."

"Well I'm having lady issues," he said before aiming the bouquet of sunflowers at her, only for her to take a step back gasping, "My lady, mind you a horrifying one, has been leaving me these bouquets when I clearly know she doen't love me enough to face death each day." as soon as he was done they heard someone flush and the last stall open, his eyes widening in fear, about to make a run for it but she grabbed his hand, "Oh no, now you face the consequences."

"So, who are you in love with?"

"For f***'s sake." hissing she face palmed, Wooyoung's boistorous laugh echoing across the tiled walls. Before them, Yunho stood infront of the sink, rolling up his sleeves as he begun to wash his hands, turning his head to meet her questionng glare to which he shrugged, "Ladies washrooms are cleaner, men use toilets like pigs and..." moving closer to reach beside her, he pulling out a few tissues, "Ya'll have tissues."

Rolling her eyes at this statement she turned to Wooyoung, motioning for him to move, only for him to move the bouqet closer to her face, watching her nose scruntch as she covered her mouth. Muffling out a whine, "Wooyoung, come on, its nothing, just let it go, I let go the fact that you went to strip club to your birthday and didnt celebrate with me-"

"THAT'S WHAT YOU TOLD HER ?"Yunho, who was now leaning against the counter hollered. That's when she noticed it, the silence, the way Wooyoung was shaking, in...fear. No...this mf wouldn't have...could he?

"Yunho" he hissed, slowly moving back as she stepped closer to him, "You a**hole." is all that escaped him before he made a beeline for the elevator, "I SWEAR I WANTED TO TAKE YOU BUT YOU HAD YOUR PROJECT THE NEXT DAY" he yelled running into the eventor, pressing on the close button before she could jump in. Unfortunately for him, she was able to stick her hand in before the doors closed, automatically opening again.

He backed into the opposite wall, "I c-can explain." holding the bouqet to cover his face until she snatched it and started beating him with it, "YOU PROMISED TO GO WITH ME- f*** I CAN NOT BELIEVE YOU WENT TO THE IMAGINE DRAGONS CONCERT WITHOUT ME!"

"IM- ow- SORRy-STOP"

The elevator stopped at a random floor and dinged, not that the two even pressed a button in this first place, they only stopped when someone cleared their throat. Pausing midscene the two- Wooyoung who was covered in petals and Y/N who was holding the dead beat bouquet, the wrapping paper crumbled to shreds- looked the people standng at the entrance.

"Umm..."

"Everyone, but these two, are normal." Jongho explained and entered the lift, someone next to him nodding and entering. That's when Wooyoung noticed, buff dudes hang out with buff dudes, that and how his bestfriend was twitching, slowly moving behind him, trying to hide, like she was...shy? He hadn't seen her ever flinch around any other man, let alone shy away from one. It was at this point when is gaze moved from her, trailing to catch the face of the man standing next to Jongho, who was offering her a shy smile in return. He was an eight...or at max a nine...or 9.98- point is he wasn't extraordinary, in fact, when did he start working here? Wooyoung always knew everyone, and this strange, tall mountain of a man was not part of the everyone, nonetheless, the creep was disturbing his dear darling demon, which is why he chose to speak up.

"Haven't seen you before?" his words calm but with an edge to them causing Jongho to let out an exagerted sigh and the man to nod at him, an introvert huh, still had the guts to hit on her? Creep and a weirdo.

"He doesn't, I just wanted to show him the gym here." Jongho turned to face the two idiots, the lady who sends him her work in late almost every week and her scoundrel of a friend who makes sure to finish all the morning free muffins before the poor bear can reach the break room.

"I almost couldn't recognise you without the mask?" the stranger spoke in a hushed tone, causing her to dip her head even more, mumbling a, "I didn't think you would."

"You know this creep?" Wooyoung turned to her, before biting his lip when he felt her heel dig into his toe. Pretending she wasnt doing that she bowed in apology, only for him to smile at her, "It's alright, so, this is who you buy flowers for each day?" his voice as soft as the clouds, as smooth as velvet, though unknown to her, those words, the sight of her standing so close to the rude guy, watching them physically engage before the two had entered the lift had set something burning in him, anger? Jealousy?

F*** no, they were not for this moron, but would she tell him the real reason? Of course not, shaking her head, she was about to speak when Jongho cleared his throat, "Anyway, San, let's go ....and you two...stay out of trouble." with that he walked out, her frantic gaze meeting San's calm eyes, with one last dimpled smile he walked out with a "Hope to see you around Miss."

With the doors closing she bit her lip, this is not how she wanted to him to see her, this is not what she wanted him to think- wait, was he going to stop being nice to her? Or would he just treat her like any other customer? Or-

"So, that's him, huh?" his words broke her train of thought, slinging an arm over her shoulders, "That's the guy, you face death for each morning, the guy you are willing to buy for, because he got your itty bitty heart in his palm and he has -until today- not seen you without a mask, not because you're hygienic, no, because you'd literally get an allergic attack and die?"

Sighing in defeat she rested her head on his shoulder, "I'm pathetic, aren't I?" as she let him lead them out to their floor, as fun as this was, they still had half of the day left and he had some investigating to do.

"Nah, not pathetic, just desperate and stupid."

"Thanks, Woo."

"Anytime."

"You gonna do something or just stare at the weights?" Jongho asked as he got off the treadmill, noticing how his friend had been distracted ever since they got off the elevator. To be honest Jongho had brought him here because this was closer to work and San's shop, and since he'd get off work late it was easier for them to continue with their routine at this office gym, rather than the one near their apartment complex.

"Oh- no, sorry." San mumbled, sitting back on the bench, reaching to pick up a dumble, only to freeze at the next choice of words his friend spoke so casually, "Can't believe thats your masked lover."

"She isn't my lover." he hissed cranning his neck around to glare at the man who was now sitting on the bench next to him, chuckling before chugging down a whole bottle of water.

"No" sighing, he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, "She's got you whipped, but you didn't know she was in a relationship- you're such a romantic Sannie."

"I'll throw this at you. I swear." placing the dumble back down, grumbling he got up, no longer interested in working out anymore, choosing to stretch out the tension in his muscles instead.

"And I'm surprised you never bothered asking for her name."

"Drop it." with that he grabbed his duffle bag , "I'm going to hit the shower."

"Mhmmm...so what was more distracting? Her skirt or the fact that you saw her face for the first time-" Jongho's sentence was cut halfway when a towel was smacked on his face, San's attempt to shut him up before disappearing around the corner to the washrooms.

Today was not a good day. Well, yesterday wasnt one either, well it was till he found out that the lady he had been saving his extra silky ribbons and prettier flowers for was in fact in a relationship, or at least what looked like one. Today, he had gotten up earlier than expected, a minute before his alarm rang, which only added to his anger. Then the water ran out while showering, so he had to stumble out of the tub, eyes closed, trying to keep his eyes safe from the suds of his shampoo, almost tripping off what may have been his own pants. After that fiasco, he had missed the bus, which meant he was late, which meant he wasn't opening his flower shop, his pride and hardwork on time. But was he upset about that or the fact that since he was late, he wouldn't be able to see her today- wait why is he even thinking of her?

In midst of his crisis he missed someone standing in front of him and bumped into them, thanking God for his cat like reflexes as he balanced himself quickly, hands instinctively reaching to grab the hand of the falling individual, pulling them up into his chest.

Her forehead bumped against his chest, his arms secure around her waist, her own palms pressed against his warm chest, the sweater warm and fuzzy under her finger tips.

"S-sorry." peaking up through her lashes, her face flushed at the sight of his curious gaze. "It's alright" smiling down at her, suddenly his day turning a bit brighter, "No mask today ?"

"W-what? Oh, " her fingers instintively reaching to touch her lips, before nodding, "Yeah, I forgot...you're late today." eyes meeting his once more, as he gave her an apologetic smile and nodded. Never had she been able to look at him up close, sure she had seen him work before, thats how she started to develope these feelings. The way he'd be so focused, his sharp gaze to the way the tip of his tongue would peak past his pouty lips, the way his hair would fall over his forehead, caressing his eyebrows-

"I leave for three minutes."

"Oh-"

In an instant the warmth around her was gone, much to her displeasure, he had moved back, hands at his sides, no longer holding her close, much to his own displeasure.

"Morning" Wooyoung cleared his throat, before taking a sip of his coffee, eyes on the man who was staring back at him. To her, it looked like a gentle stare, but Wooyoung could see the swirling emotions behind his dark orbs, the anger, the jealousy- oh he was going to have so much fun with this.

Clearing her throat, she turned to Wooyoung, "What are you doing here?" who smiled at her, one that anyone who didn't know him would feel was the most honest smile one could see, but she knew better. He was up to no good, as he walked up to her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders, pulling hercloser, "Didn't we see you yesterday?"

San's eyes caught th visible the dicomfort that she displayed for a second, certain gears in his head working quick, fists clenching at his sides- this wasn't his matter, and Jongho had told him to stay away from this stuff or he would kick him out, this was a new start, and he wasn't going to ruin it.

"You did," averting his eyes from her face he eyed Wooyoung, scanning him, he was smaller than him, in stature and build, bet he was quicker than him though- no, he wasn't supposed to be thinking like this anymore.

"San...right?" her words catching him off guard, inhaling sharply he turned back to her with a smile, "Nodding, yes, San, Choi San." Noting how her she was mimicking a smile of her own, eyes swirling with untold stories, ones he'd love to hear, all the time.

"Wooyoung" he brought his hand forward, somewhat coming infront of her, much to San's displeasure, but he shook his hand nontheless, with a fake smile, before catching her eyes again, his fake smiling morphing into his dimpled one.

"Will you be coming in today?" he asked them, "Give me a minute I just have to open up-"

"N-no its okay, we were just passing by!" she cut him off, before looking at how the two idiots were still gripping onto each other's hands. Wooyoung was going to be the death of her.

Turning his head to look at her he nodded in understanding before he felt the idiot squeeze his hand, only sparing him a glance then looking at their clasped hands, an awkward silence settling between the three.

"Umm..."

"Wooyoung."

With a firm nod he let go, smirking at the way the bigger male wiped his palm with his pants, trying to be oh so discreet about it.

"Good grip" was all he said before moving to Y/N, "Let's go, love." walking ahead as she sighed, wanting to smack him so hard right now. Turning to San she bowed politely, "I apologise, he can be a handful sometimes, it was nice seeing you."

She was almost a good foot away before he called out, "WAIT!" causing her to freeze in spot, whipping her head around to stare at him all doe-eyed, his heart hammering against his ribcage, demanding to leave with her, "I didn't catch your name..."

"That's because you never asked me, silly." chuckling at his curiosity veiled with his shy demeanour, "It's Y/N."

With that she was gone, running after the a**hole, according to San, who had noticed how he was making her uncomfortable by the passing minute. A part of him wanted to go and give him a good piece of his mind, but he knew not to, he had promised Jongho he wouldn't get into fights anymore, he wouldn't let the world write his story for him.

"Having fun?" she hissed, entering his cubicle, noting how she was ignored. Her source of anger was glued to his desktop, glasses at the tip of his nose, eyebrows scrunched together in concentration. Eyes skimming each word before him.

"Wooyoung I-"

Words pausing at the rude gesture, a finger pointed in the air as if asking her to shut up for a moment. Huffing, she stood there, leaning against the entrance of his cubicle, arms crossed as she looked around waiting for him to finish with his dramatics for a good twenty minutes.

"Aaaand done." twirling around in his swivel chair he stared at her, manspreading, "Yes, child."

"SIT PROPERLY!"

"YES MA'AM." fixing his posture in an instance he cleared his throat, sitting cross-legged watching her lean against his desk, eyes frantically darting from her face to the screen.

"Let's go, Love?" quirking a brow she asked, "Are you trying to ensure I have no shot with him?"

"Quite the opposite, stupid one, I'm trying to ensure you do."

"You got a shitty way of showing it."

Clicking his tongue he rolled his chair closer to his desk, smacking her knee, then pointing at th screen, "Look."

Rubbing her knee she stood up, turning to look at the screen, "What- oh my god, you're stalking him- Oh he looks cute her" her words rushing out before she could bite her tongue, earning a high pitched laugh from her friend.

"Stop" whining and covering her face with her hands she peeked through her fingers, watching him scroll through the florist's shop's social media account.

This was the most fun Wooyoung had had since highschool, it had been so long since he'd seen his oh so perfect friend a mess, sputtering nonsense. "My point is, he has no personal account, and this one is recent too, its only for the shop and considering he only has male staff- this other dude - man do all buff people have like this secret club-"

"Your point?"

"Yeah sorry, my point is that he has no lady in his life, so you've got a shot."

"And pretending that we are in a relationship is going to work how?"

"He's shy and you're hopeless at this, someone has to tip the scales and be pushed to make the first move- and we all know how your first moves involve stupidity."

"I regret knowing you for so long."

"Ooooh what are we discussing here?"

The two froze at the third, new voice entering the scene, "But, I feel like people who come in late should be more concered about their work, not Sannie's love life."

"Sannie?" the two squeaked but with different tones, with different intentions.

"Yes, Sannie, San, Choi San, man who is not part of your assignments for the week. Neither of yours." he stated as a matter of fact, slowly nudging Wooyoung's chair out of the way as he moved closer to the screen, "New account, huh..." scrolling down at an inhumane speed he hummed, "So, how's his shop?"

"Nice."

"Average."

"Wooyoung, you've never been there." She sighed at his comment, "It's not average, its very nice, its pretty and colourful."

"Wow, bet saying that would get you in his pants, huh?" Wooyoung mocked, rotating in his swivel chair, smirking at the sight of her tainted cheeks- perhaps he did want to show their boss, that he deserved the raise rather than her, or maybe just embarass her because it was fun, or just both.

Luckily for her Yunho had completely ignored that statement, instead turned around to her, "So, you're allergic to pollen and you still go to the shop?"

As embarrassing as it was, it was true, "Yes." mumbling she stared at her shoes, instantly glaring at Wooyoung who had whispered, "Simp".

"Does...he know?" Their boss inquired, before closing the tab and turned to face them completely.

"No! God no, he'd never let me in the shop if he did, I mean he seems like the caring type and-" her words came to a fault at the sight of the two men smirking at each other, cause her to whine and slap Wooyoung's shoulder.

"WHY ME?? HIT HIM TOO!"

"He's our boss."

Huffing she turned to look at Yunho who gave her a gentle smile, "You're right, he is the caring type, but" his lips quirked downwards, something she noticed instantly, "He's not s pet project, so is this a little crush or do you actually like him, which brings me to my next question, how could you like someone without even knowing their name?"

"I..."her words hugged the silence that came after, staring at her shoes then at Wooyoung for some help, but he looked at her with the same look her boss was giving her, she did like him, but she didn't know a lot about him either- well technically a while ago she didn't even know his name. What if this was a meaningless crush? There was no guarantee that he felt the same way either, what if he thought she was some annoying, clingy customer that-

A gentle squeeze of her hand had her look up from the all too interesting floor, only to find Wooyoung standing right before her, giving her a small smile. He raised his hand, watching her flinch but he chuckled, "You're crying silly..." he whispered, the thumb of his free hand stroking her tear stained cheek, watching her let out a shaky sigh.

"I- I wont- I mean I-"

"He didn't mean it like that...he just wants you to be sure of your feelings...I think they were close friends." Smiling at her he made her sit down on his chair, "Don't worry, I get it, I've never seen my demon sent to me straight from hell cry for a guy, so you must really like him, we just gotta figure out a way for you to get to talk to each other without chickening out, yeah?"

She nodded only to look at the person who cleared their throat, Yunho, standing there awkwardly, "I uh...I was only kidding, I didn't doubt your intentions....but damn...who knew I'd see the employee of the month, the holder of Woo's reigns, end up crying all because of Sannie-"

"I hate you." She hissed, grabbing a tissue box and flinging it at him, only for Wooyoung to catch it mid air, "Holder of my reigns?" He turned to Yunho who shrugged, "It's a name that stuck, most of us did think you two were an item" the taller man shrugged before looking at her sitting there in self-doubt, making him feel worse, "I, I think Wooyoung should go on with his jealousy plan, if Sannie didn't have the slightest crush on you, he wouldn't have smiled at you like how Jongho told me he did."

"You spoke to Jongho about this?"

"Yeah, well he did talk about the way San was distracted at the gym thanks to your skirt-"

"Jongho also said get back to work and not waste the first half of the day playing matchmaker."

The three froze at the new tone, slowly turning to find the bear like man standing there with his arms crossed, shaking his head, "I'll count till ten"

"Oh I'll win because I'm already at my desk." Wooyoung smirked earning an eyeroll from Yunho and scoff from her, watching the two walk out as he stared at Jongho who was glaring back at him, "Is she serious about him? He's been through enough as it is, it took us some time to bring him back on track."

"She is. I- its actually the first time I've seen her act this way, the real question is, is your boy fixed enough to treat her right?"

"Guess that's something you'll have to check for yourself....you are her...boyfriend after all, even if a fake one." With that Jongho left the cubicle, leaving Wooyoung alone with his thoughts, on one hand he was debating whether this interference was worth their time, but then again, he was right, he'd never seen her like this, not when he had confessed to her back in highschool and she had politely declined his offer, or when that guy in college asked her put publically- well, technically she had put him back in his place there and then and Wooyoung thanked God that he had the bestfriend privilege back in highschool too because if this is what she'd do to someone who tried to pressurise her due to the public presence even if she did once say this guy was cute- he'd hate to see how she'd deal with someone she disliked.

So, there were two questions that bothered him, was the flowerboy fixed enough to handle her? And did she now possesses the gentleness to handle delicate flowers?

Taglist: @edenesth @yessa-vie @marsvillee @spooo00oky @the-kpop-simp @mlysalt

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msperfect777 · 10 months

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nothing is serious

non dualism got me understanding that nothing is serious. countless of times i would remember that i had heavy anxiety and panic attacks and thoughts that were crazy intrusive and now that i think back on them its like they were never that serious… ask yourself, when you feel depressed or full of anxiety, who feels it? what benefit does anyone get by stressing and worrying? feelings and thoughts come and go, they arent permenent therefore they arent real so what is there to stress about? in the present moment when “you” feel down and intrusive, are you the one who is feeling those feelings? are you the one thinking those thoughts? nope. ya already know consciousness is the true self. you are only observing that “experience” which ego takes it as real bc thats all ego knows. ego is conditioned and asks too many questions and creates issues where there are none. next time you get bad feelings, step back and be pure awareness. whos thinking these thoughts… not me… whos suffering? not me. whos thinking thoughts… not me.. all this is an illusion… its a game… why would i take an illusion seriously?

lets say “i” stub my toe. the body feels the pain but i (consciousness) can only be aware of the pain. the illusion part is that is feels as if IM the one whos in pain. thats not true, thats why its an illusion, a dream. i can only be aware bc everything is awareness. i am forever aware. i am effortlessly aware. right now you are aware of these words right? effortlessly. bc thats who you are. you can only be aware of things not “feel” or “stress” or “think”. those are all unreal and illusionary.

you are always awareness but pure awareness is when there are no thoughts just pure observing. observing without judgment from the ego. ask your self the questions from above again. none of which ego is “feeling” is real. understanding non dualism means you have finally realized that “suffering” and “pain” and “failure” are imaginary concepts. nothing is real and when nothing is real, nothing is serious. “life” becomes more fun and free and full of happiness bc thats exactly what consciousness (you) is.

@msperfect777

#consciousness #non dualism #non duality #nondualism #nonduality #observer

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prettymindset111 · 10 months

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at your command by neville goddard highlights

the awareness of being is the door through which the manifestations of life pass into the world of form.

This is the truth that makes man free, for man is always self-im- prisoned or self-freed.

If you are dissatisfied with your present expression of life the only way to change it, is to take your attention away from that which seems so real to you and rise in consciousness to that which you desire to be. You cannot serve two masters, therefore to take your attention from one state of consciousness and place it upon another is to die to one and life to the other.

The second, as we are told in the story of Mary, is to “Magnify the Lord.” We have identified the Lord as your awareness of being. Therefore, to 'magnify the Lord' is to revalue or expand one's present conception of one's self to the point where this revaluation becomes natural. When this naturalness is attained you give birth by becoming that which you areone with in consciousness. The story of creation is given us in digest form in the first chapter of John. “In the beginning was the word.” Now, this very second, is the 'beginning' spoken of. It is the beginning of an urge – a desire. 'The word' is the de- sire swimming around in your consciousness – seeking embodiment. The urge of itself has no reality, for, “I AM” or the awareness of being is the only reality. Things live only as long as I am aware of being them; so to realize one's desire, the second line of this first verse of John must be ap- plied. That is, “And the word was with God.” The word, or desire, must be fixed or united with consciousness to give it reality. The awareness be- comes aware of being the thing desired, thereby nailing itself upon the form or conception – and giving life unto its conception – or resurrecting that which was heretofore a dead or unfulfilled desire. “Two shall agree as touching anything and it shall be established on earth.”

You are ever sent into expres- sion by your awareness and your expression is ever that which you are aware of being.

To do this you take your attention away from all that is now your problem or limitation and dwell upon just being. That is; you say silently but feelingly to yourself, “I AM.” Do not condition this 'awareness' as yet. Just declare yourself to be, and continue to do so, until you are lost in the feeling of just being – faceless and form- less. When this expansion of consciousness is attained, then, within this formless deep of yourself give form to the new conception by FEELING yourself to be THAT which you desire to be.

The only way to change your expressions of life is to change your con- sciousness. For consciousness is the reality that eternally solidifies itselfin the things round about you. Man's world in its every detail is his con- sciousness out-pictured. You can no more change your environment, or world, by destroying things than you can your reflection by destroying the mirror. Your environment, and all within it, reflects that which you are in consciousness. As long as you continue to be that in consciousness so long will you continue to out-picture it in your world.

you can only be to others what you are first to yourself.

but as your true self, a faceless, formless awareness, and free yourself from your self- imprisoned prison.

That is why it is constantly recorded that Jesus left the world of manifes- tation and ascended unto his father. Jesus, as you and I, found all tings impossible to Jesus, as man. But having discovered his father to be the state of consciousness of the thing desired, he but left behind him the “Jesus consciousness” and rose in consciousness to that state desired and stood upon it until he became one with it. As he made himself one with that, he became that in expression.

Just as a branch has no life except it be rooted in the vine, so likewise things have no life except you be conscious of them. Just as a branch withers and dies if the sap of the vine ceases to flow towards it, so do things in your world pass away if you take your attention from them, be- cause your attention is as the sap of life that keeps alive and sustainsthe things of your world. To dissolve a problem that now seems so real to you all that you do is re- move your attention from it. In spite of it seeming reality, turn from it in consciousness.

Become indifferent and begin to feel yourself to be that which would be the solution of the problem.

For instance; if you were imprisoned, no man would have to tell you that you should desire freedom. Freedom, or rather the desire of freedom would be automatic. So why look behind the four walls of your prison bars? Take your attention from being imprisoned and begin to feel your- self to be free. FEEL it to the point where it is natural – the very second you do so, those prison bars will dissolve. Apply this same principle toany problem.

I have seen people who were in debt up to their ears apply this principle and in the twinkling of an eye debts that were mountainous were re- moved. I have seen those whom doctors had given up as incurable take their attention away from their problem of disease and being to feel themselves to be well in spite of the evidence of their senses to the con-trary. In no time at all this so-called “incurable disease” vanished and left no scar.

“I am” is he that will save you. If you are hungry, your savior is food. If you are poor, your savior is riches. If you are imprisoned, your savior is freedom. If you are diseased, it will not be a man called Jesus who will save you, but health will become your savior. Therefore, claim “I am health,” in other words, claim yourself to be the thing desired. Claim it in consciousness – not in words – and consciousness will reward you with your claim. You are told, “You shall find me when you FEEL after me.” Well, FEEL after that quality in consciousness until you FEEL yourself to be it. When you lose yourself in the feeling of being it, the quality will em- body itself in your world.

“For I am not a God afar off. I am nearer than your hands and feet – nearer than your very breathing.” I am your awareness of being. I am that in which all that I shall ever be aware of being shall begin andend. “For before the world was I AM; and when the world shall cease to be, I AM; before Abraham was, I AM.” This I AM is your awareness.

“Except the Lord build the house they labor in vain that build it.” 'The Lord,' being your consciousness, except that which you seek is first estab- lished in your consciousness, you will labor in vain to find it. All things must being and end in consciousness.

Put not your trust in men for men but reflect the being that you are, and can only bring to you or do unto you that which you have first done unto yourself.

Man has always blamed others for that which he is and will continue todo so until he finds himself as the cause of all. “I AM” comes not to destroy but to fulfill. “I AM,” the awareness within you, destroys bother but ever fills full the molds or conceptions one has of one's self.

Life does not care whether you call yourself rich or poor; strong or weak. It will eternally reward you with that which you claim as true of yourself .

Such acceptance of your desire is like dropping seed – fertile seed – into prepared soil. For when you can drop the thing desired in consciousness, confident that it shall appear, you have done all that is expected of you. But, to be worried or concerned about the HOW of your desire maturing is to hold these fertile seeds in a mental grasp, and, therefore, never to have dropped them in the soil of confidence.

If you would catch that which is beyond your present capacity you must launch out into deeper waters, for, within your present consciousness such fish or desires cannot swim. To launch out into deeper waters, you leave behind you all that is now your present problem, or limitation, by taking your ATTENTION AWAY from it.

Another story is told us; of the widow and the three drops of oil. The prophet asked the widow, “What have ye in your house?” And shereplied, “Three drops of oil.” He then said to her, “Go borrow vessels. Close the door after ye have returned into your house and begin to pour.” And she poured from three drops of oil into all the borrowed vessels, filling them to capacity with oil remaining.

You, the reader, are this widow. You have not a husband to impregnate you or make you fruitful, for a 'widow' is a barren state. Your awareness is now the Lord – or the prophet that has become your husband. Follow the example of the widow, who instead of recognizing an emptiness or noth- ingness, recognized the something – three drops of oil.

Then the command to her, “Go within and close the door,” that is shut the door of the senses that tell you of the empty measures, the debts, the problems.

Recognition is the power that conjures in the world. Every state that you have ever recognized, you have embodied. That which you are recogniz- ing as true of yourself today is that which you are experiencing. So be as the widow and recognize joy, no matter how little the beginnings of recog- nition, and you will be generously rewarded – for the world is a magnified mirror, magnifying everything that you are conscious of being.

“I AM the Lord the God, which has brought thee out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage; thou shalt have not her gods before me.” What a glorious revelation, your awareness now revealed as the Lord thy God! Come, awake from your dream of being imprisoned. Realize thatthe earth is yours, “and the fullness thereof; the world, and all that dwells therein.”

You have become so enmeshed in the belief that you are man that you have forgotten the glorious being that you are. Now with your memory re- stored DECREE the unseen to appear and it SHALL appear, for all things are compelled to respond to the Voice of God, Your Awareness of Being – the world is AT YOUR COMMAND!

#law of assumption #neville goddard

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scribbledghost · 4 months

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I have a suggestion for a promp!! ✋feel free to consider it if it fancies you, disregard if it doesn't 💕 i felt like it might interest you, bc I really loved the drabble about reader being on base and the alarm going off and her finally meeting ghost, so to say! i feel like you might like the vibe of this as well. idk how to word it well, but i love stories where the two whole different worlds of a couple meet/merge bc of A Situation which lays their differences bare, their consequent reaction to their so's/the situation at hand itself etc

i saw this super cute tiktok the other day of a couple, where the husband/bf? is trying to instill more safety awareness into his partner, he pretends to leave the house, closes the front door and even fakes his footsteps but then knocks on the door to see if his gf will automatically open up assuming its him or look thru the peephole to see who it is

she doesn't ask, and opens up right away (like most of us would do i mean lbr!!) and he berates her for it while she playfully waves it off as him being too paranoid and so serious (mannnn I wish I had it saved!!!) and idk i think was just such super cute moment and I could totally see simon and his so in this situation. Simon has more than his fair share of awareness of what could and does go wrong in the world and is determined to "train" his gf and give a safety drill whenever he sees the opportunity for it (he might even do so bc he is, unconsciously or not, trying to protect her from a fate his family faced because of him) but his gf is happily unaware of that dark side of the world and is like "🤷‍♀️aww but i just knew it was you babe besides im pretty sure nothing could get past you to get to me anyway💕💕" and he is both baffled bc of her casualness (she's a civilian but still), somewhat amused bc he can never get "mad" at her, it would be like getting mad at a puppy who doesn't get a trick right on the first try, and he feels his heart swell because she feels, she knows nothing would get past him to hurt her. he would die sooner than to have a hair on her head harmed (ok this got angsty real quick!!!🥹💕❤️)

🌻anon (also I am sorry for the wall of text omg!!! English isn't my first language so i guess I overcompensate to explain myself wow!! You are a gem in this fandom btw??? I honestly love how detailed your writing is. Quality work, top notch!👌😘💕)

Note: I have been staring at the last paragraph of this for the past five minutes because thank you so so much???? (Also your English is perfect I promise) it seriously means so much to me to hear people like my writing 🥺💖💖 But this definitely interests me! (Personally, I'm wildly paranoid about my own safety, so I'd definitely be checking that peephole every time lol but we're gonna disregard that)

"Love, you're gonna end up givin' me more gray hairs than I've already got."

"And why's that?"

Simon pinches the bridge of his nose and lets out a huff. He's not angry - he doesn't think he could ever be angry at you (at least not for long) - but he's starting to wonder if you've got any self-preservation instincts at all.

This isn't the first time you've failed one of his many "safety tests," as you call them. From leaving your car unlocked while you're sitting in it to opening a window overnight when the weather permits, he swears he's aged a decade since living with you. Price had once told him that worrying for your safety was part of the package of loving a civilian, but Simon hadn't quite predicted he'd be worrying this much.

"How many times have I told you to check before you open the door?" he asks.

"But I knew it was you. You just left," you chirp. Good lord, you're too cute for your own good.

"And if it hadn't been me?" he asks. "If someone had taken me out on my way to the car then come to you? You've got to start considering the possibilities, love."

To your average outsider, it probably seems like he's berating you. But the way your eyes sparkle at him tells him you know better. Chastising you, perhaps, but there's no true anger there.

Instead, there's an undercurrent of fear. He knows the consequences of opening the door to the wrong person. And he knows that if the day ever comes when he comes home to blood on the walls and the sight of your lifeless eyes, he'll sit next to you and make sure he dies there too.

But that's a road Simon doesn't want to go down. Not right now, anyway. Not when you're here, smiling at him with mischief in your gaze.

"Simon, be real. I know nothing can get past you to get to me."

He feels his heart rise when you tell him this. Of course, he knows in his soul that he'd never let anything harm you. He knows he'd do unspeakable things to keep you safe. But to hear you say that you know it too sends warmth through his chest.

"Be that as it may," he says, unable to stop himself from quirking a small grin, "you still need to check. Just to be safe."

He grabs your hand as you raise it to wave him off, pulling you slightly closer and angling your chin so he can really look at you and convey the seriousness of his words.

"Please, love," he says. "For me?"

Your gaze softens as you lean into his touch.

"Okay, Simon," you murmur to him. "I promise I'll check before I open the door. For you."

Part of him isn't quite sure if he believes you. But for now, he lets himself feel relieved anyway.

"Good," he says as he leans in to kiss you. "I'll hold you to that."

#simon ghost riley #simon riley x reader #simon riley x you #simon ghost x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #ghost scribbles

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itgomyway · 6 months

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what the human condition is and how it involves the ego 🪐

who are you?

hi! my name is calypso :) the one who usually talks about non dualism. the one who just answered you is the ego. the ego is the FALSE sense of self. the idea that i am a girl teaching others about nd is false. the idea that i have a job is false. my name, age, religion, gender, financial status, beliefs, all of these are a part of the false sense of self. aka the ego. the ego is apart of you but since all of the aforementioned had to come to your awareness, its not actually real. its apart of the human condition.

my version of the human condition (this stems away from the general teachings of nd and go with how i decide the universe works) : we are “born” or land on this planet as beings of consciousness inhabiting human bodies. idk why we are here that doesnt really matter but the gag is, the more we identify with the false sense of self given when we land the less control we gain over our surroundings. also don’t know why this occurs but some of us are lucky to break free, most with the help of guides (astrology, tarot, loa, etc).

unfortunately growing up, a lot of us were taught by those who never broke free and are still under the human condition. i consider it the ego’s perception of life personified. example, if you hold the belief that you’re unlovable and you identify with this belief this is what youll experience in the human condition. this is also the 3d and 4d stuff with manifestation. manifestation is just consciousness identifying as the ego so it can understand its version of events. no events actually take place however.

so what now?

by default, our brains are more comfortable identifying as human. we could use conscious affirmations and repetition to change beliefs about being human. this makes ego identification easier. you could also just… not participate and exist as consciousness.

whats the difference?

ego identification means you are going to be human you want to manifest better jobs and relationships with others and connect meaningfully. you want to pursue passions and have an abundance of wealth. all beautiful things possible with loa 🫶

or you can do what i usually like to do which is remove the ego attachment from all of that. like sometimes i just want things not necessarily to improve my “life” but bc i just do. i have no plans for a future that doesnt exist. i live presently and accept what comes. i play the game of life but not as the victim as the maker and i create as it comes consciously all the time.

which one is right or wrong? which one is easier or harder? im not sure. thats entirely up to you. all you really need to know is that whether or not you decide to play the game, the game is gonna keep running. do what best suits you

#nonduality #consciousness #nondualism #awareness #law of assumption

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sparring-spirals · 18 days

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Compromise. Im not going to actually WRITE meta but i AM going to lay out a list of things I'm thinking about broadly and thematically and would probably write meta about if i were properly caught up and informed, but is instead influenced much more by early campaign F.C.G:

**edit: no this is kind of meta again. sorry.

- F.C.G grappling with the questions of: being made. purpose. whether it matters if you find your own purpose if you were made with one in mind and you "choose" something else. Can you actually? Does it matter? Is your choice a choice at all?

- Wanting so badly to heal people and help people and the unique fear of waking up and seeing damage done by your own hands. To the same people you wanted so badly to help. You extend healing and you offer comfort or kind words but all the while, in your core is a tightness. In your core is a danger. How much good do you need to do to get the blood off your chassis? Can you, at all?

- Metal body. Metal hands. A little wheel. You were a turtle once and it felt so wondrous to breathe. You try out tongues or little wooden legs or whatnot but it always comes back to an inorganic metal body and empty insides no matter if youre filling them with liquids or secret goods to smuggle or pastries (faux warmth). Maybe everything like wooden legs dangling off a metal body. All for show.

- A coin in hand. Looking for a higher power. Thinking about choice. Deferring choices.

- You love your friends, so much. You love people being kind to each other. You love your boyfriend and their wonderful way of thinking. You love being alive. Even when you doubted you were at all. You love, truly and deeply.

- Ashton raging at F.C.G for being a martyr. For aching for a good enough reason to get himself hurt or killed or blown up. Ashton looking at F.C.G knowing they're all messed up inside and trying so hard to stop them from letting it destroy them.

- Ashton always worried about how they're always trying to find a big enough cause, a good enough reason.

And so with those things, I remembered about F.C.G:

- F.C.G looking at their friends all down. Ashton laid out unmoving.

- F.C.G with something awful in their core. Ready to spill out. The same something awful they were always worried about. They were always aware of.

- F.C.G always looking for that reason. For that bigger and better cause.

- F.C.G always feeling like they didn't understand purpose, like it was so. unattainable- finally, briefly, startlingly- sure. Finally free of doubt. Their friends down and something awful and destructive in their core and one last thing they can do to maybe make things worth it, and the ability to choose it. They were made for something. They chose what to do with it.

- F.C.G finding that reason. F.C.G making that call. F.C.G thinking it was worth it.

- I think because of him, they succeeded. They won. That is certain.

- I think. "Worth it". Is always a subjective thing.

- I think. A self sacrifice is never just one person giving everything up. A self sacrifice, unfortunately- is one person making a choice.

And everyone else caught, in the blast radius.

#critical role #cr spoilers #cr liveblogging #c3e91 #fcg #AH SHIT. THIS IS META AGAIN. FUCK #sorry. i. god. look. you all knew what you signed up for when you followed me right. im sorry #look im certain i missed 40 episodes of character dev i just need to word vomit where my brain is at given my context #character meta #spar speaks #fcg meta #i. GUESS. if other people want to take any portion of it and chew through it in a more informed way please be my gues #id love to. know things #ive got a lot of emotions to parse and im also about to make a ton of slightly terrible jokes if im not writing meta leggo

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onlyjaeyun · 2 months

Text

alright, i'm gonna address this ask once and then just not respond to anything else, even the asks supporting me bc im a little exhausted and on the verge of losing motivation so i dont wanna trigger it by going back and forth with people. yet this does not mean i dont deeply appreciate everyone's sweet messages. means the world to me to know you all have my back like this, so thank you so much 🤍

once and for all: this is fiction. fiction, meant for adults hence the MDNI/18+ in my bio, basically plastered all over my blog.

every character ive created so far is just that. a character. and i need some of you guys to understand that this is what (fan)fiction is about. the smoking, the family trauma, the lack of self awareness, their sexual activities and coping mechanisms, everything regarding and about my characters was created by me and most of the time intentionally.

one thing that also needs to be clear is that you can't just run around policing grown people in their asks talking about such significant issues and throwing around accusations like that because not only is it deeply offensive but it's also very, very dangerous. you misunderstood my post and assumed i'd use sex and sexual intimacy to have him make up for his wrongdoings when that is NOT what i said at all. just please be careful the next time because i understand where you came from but i did not deserve that.

what i also wanna address is the part with me having "impressionable readers" because this is very important to me as a smut writer.

i have set clear boundaries that i do not want any minors on my blog, point blank. now, we all know they're still around. is that my responsibility? no. am i supposed to give a fuck about people who are apparently old enough to consciously read trigger/content warnings and continue to read my work? fuck no. is it my job to educate those impressionable people that they shouldn't read smth if they can't differentiate fiction from reality. NO.

that's all im gonna say to this because yes, there are impressionable readers out there but that is NOT my responsibility.

im tired of people constantly policing me and the things i write when im a grown woman who knows exactly what she's doing. if you hate CH!sunghoon so much and are so uncomfortable with his progress, then don't read it.

saying this for everyone yet again:

if you do NOT like a writer's work, you do NOT have to READ it.

this is tumblr. i write things for FUN. i publish them for you guys to read for FREE. i dont owe anybody shit. im so, so sorry if this makes some of you angry or upset now but at the end of the day it's the truth. this is my blog and my writing and i will do whatever the fuck i want and unfortunately you have no choice but to live with it.

i appreciate constructive criticism but i will not and never in the future let anyone be so mean to me and accuse me of things when you usually just see and read and hear what you want and make up your own version of the story when it's so, so far away from the truth.

pls do not attack the nonie bc i know this is the result of a misunderstanding but it was a good opportunity for me to address the whole impressionable reader situation.

if you can't differentiate fiction from reality that's your problem, stop making it mine.

thank you so much for everything, nothing but love 🧸🩷🎀

#also not to be that bitch but y'all let people write full on (pseudo) incest fics about real people including lacking consent and very #questionable kinks but nobody says a thing #my male lead is a fucking asshole who has yet to grovel and i get shit thrown at me left and right #; rambles

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