#in case u were curious about the ongoings of my life

[leenfiend]

what’s ur type first < prev next > full comic

#sorry for everyone who’s been reblogging the full comic post and thinks it’s over im cursing you with more #im still only like … 3k into this 10k fic #and i haven’t finished editing it still #whomp whomp #also job stuff is all okay again!! #in case u were curious about the ongoings of my life #Klance #vld #my art #what’s ur type #wut

[andypantsx3]

hi there !! i hope you're doing well :) ever since i started reading ur fics i've just been really impressed with how u keep the quality of ur content very consistent. do u take breaks in between writing each fic? i think u mentioned this in a previous post when u talked about editing fics, but i guess i'm wondering how u keep urself from being burnt out/if u get burnt out! i'm going thru a slump rn so i'd be curious to hear about ur experience!

Omg thank you so much!! That is literally so sweet of you to say, much as I doubt the quality is all actually consistent—I'm looking at you, in cinders chapter two.🖕🖕🖕

Also please excuse how long this got, I have a lot of thoughts on this subject in particular!!

Personally yes, I do get burnt out, and I do find it very necessary to take breaks—from writing overall and from a fic if I'm having difficulties with it. In general, I try to write a little bit every day, but that’s not always possible, and there are times when that’s not the right thing to be doing.

If you were following me late last year, you may vaguely be aware that I disappeared for two months straight between December and February. Like, just let the queue run through and did not answer a single ask, post a single original thought, or even look at my ao3 comments. While I was gone I barely wrote a thing. I think at like 1.5 months into it, I started drafting the outline for subtle, but before that, I didn't do shit except focus on my personal life and hang out with my dog.

At that point I was just tired and I thought I could use a little recharging to get excited about writing again. I read a bunch of books and other people's fics, and reread a bunch of my old fave comfort ship fics. That break from my own work really helped me get inspired again. Since then I've been consciously trying to strike a balance between writing all the time and chilling/consuming the things that keep me inspired to write.

When it comes to taking a break from fics, I do that too. My Hawks fic lay low has been ongoing since December of last year, when I normally finish fics in under a month. I actually really love this fic, but I got a little frustrated with some plot holes and then again with the pressure I was putting on myself to characterize him (like, relax, Andie it's a fuckin fanfic) so that's been on hiatus like multiple times even though we're only three chapters in.

I think it was important, though, for me personally to take a step back from it until I had the energy to address the things that I wanted to, and until I was excited to write it again. I'm actually finally working on chapter 4 (!!!), but it really took a long time to let that bad boy marinate, and I hope the fic will be better for it.

And I did that with statistically significant as well. This was more due to my workload at my job at the time, and I worked on this one over the course of five months when prior to that, I had been finishing fics in 1-2 weeks. But slowing down and writing this fic over like ten times the amount of time it took me to write other fics was a really good learning experience for me. It taught me that it's totally fine to step away from a fic for multiple months, and that you can always come back and finish it later.

I think that's also going to be the case with the new Deku fic, and I'm happy I already know it's completely okay to take my time. I'm sure there will be new wrenches that life throws into my path, and I'll have to get hit by those and figure out how to get back up and learn to duck next time lol.

Anyway, I definitely get where you are coming from, and if I've learned anything in the year and a half I have been writing it’s that it's totally normal to hit slumps, be they long or short, fic-specific or related to writing overall. Burn-out/slumps are actually not a big deal at all if you don't psych yourself out about them.

I feel like every time I'm asked advice on anything I say this (but I mean it!!): listen to yourself. You know best what you need. If you don't feel like you have the brain power for writing right now?? You're definitely right, and you should take some time away to chill, just consume things without producing, or do other stuff in life that makes you feel good.

If you're two months into not writing and you get excited about a project outside of the one you abandoned?? There's probably a reason. Work on that instead, and maybe let your enthusiasm for that project remind you of what you liked about the other one you put down.

And if that enthusiasm doesn't return? Then let the damn thing sit until it does. There are literally writers I follow who stepped away from fics for YEARS, only to come back and post a new chapter like half a decade later. They are always, always better for it.

So literally just listen to what you are telling yourself, and ride out the slump however you need to. Please try your best not to feel guilty for it, or think that it is any reflection on you or your work. They're just a natural part of the process, and honestly you will be the better for having had this experience.

#ask andie

[icharchivist]

hello icha!!!!! learned from my mistakes and typed this out in a separate document. first i have to say im feeling a very deep connection with citron as of late bc i was giving myself a pep talk abt like physics and i told myself "face up and man the music!" and was like "...is that wrong. theres that song called man against the music isnt there... yeah it must be right" and. well i realized later. i also think the phrase "dont cry because it happened, smile because its over" is very good. also I’m halfway thru creating a very eclectic list of like. a Pokémon team for each a3 character which is… something. kinda knew it would happen to me. might take a while for me to finish it tho now that I’m halfway bc I’m suddenly having a crisis like “wait shit I’m only confident on my understanding and characterizing of like 4 characters am I good enough” so… it’s slow going lol. anyways. i finished that damn physics thing I was giving myself a pep talk about and so am treating myself to autumn/winter. happens that watching these events is also like. the only thing which reminds me to actually like. log into a3 lol. i am so bad at gacha games. probably a good thing in the long run. ok starting from the top!

hisoka going "zzz" as his reaction made me immediately go... oh dear, please dont fall asleep in the bath and guess what happened. yeah. good thing homare was there lol. speaking of i fucking adore homare and his poetry. id buy his collection. i also wish there was a collection like if there was a master list of every poem he says in like. at the very least main story. if not i will literally do it myself. i love homare so much im like him in that back when i had to play dodgeball id always be like kufufufu they cant hit me if im friendless enough that no one pays attention to me but like in my case it actually worked out. on the subject of the pillow fight tho, hisoka's crazy strong pillow fight throw... one more mark on the list for suspicious, maybe assassin occupation. this event made me realize how much i missed winter like. i saw the stranger pretty recently (which has caused the effect of be being like "taichi!! thats my boy!!" in my head everytime he shows up lol but anyways i havent gotten to a winter play yet so im VERY hype. especially bc this seems like it stars hisoka and homare??? like oh!! oh!!!! also detective fiction... im swooning. i also just enjoy the hisoka homare dynamic a whole fucking lot i think its nice how homare was like "yeah im ride or die for this funky lil amnesiac, why wouldnt you be?" and its just like. nice. feel like hes always reaching out to hisoka which is like. man homare is so nice.

back to chronology. ofc sakyo goes cheap for the hot springs lol. on brand as ever. was very hype for the azuma sakyo dynamic bc all i remember is like azuma trashing everyone including sakyo at some game or the other in one of the winter chapters and it was very good. or was this a clip in like a stage play? either way it was delightful. at first i misinterpreted taichi going "…" after azuma and sakyo said theyd never been on a field trip bc like. taichi being quiet or noncommunicative... after going thru autumn troupe act 1 it makes me fear for my life a little lol. anyways im glad he was just like planning fun times. speaking of taichi tho we got a tasuku taichi pair for etudes!!!! im not spoiling myself for later events but i hope to GOD tasuku and taichi do like a lead co lead in SOMETHING or at least like some mixed troupe event i want them to talk!!!

also dunno if this is an intentional pun but i enjoy that its called high spirits at the hot spring bc like oh theyre having fun but also bc like. "spirits" is used to refer to a certain type of alcohol i think? which is cool. dunno if its intentional but i liked that. anyways the talent show. taichis moving rendition of single ladies... ok i know it said single fellas but like. we know. wonder if that line was a different song in japanese? its not too old at ALL tho imo. anyways the way banri and juza being themselves Are the entertainment... flashback to when banri slaps juza live on stage instead of doing a stage slap lol. my reaction to azuma essentially went:

azuma: I can offer to bare my soul, and a little more ;)

izumi: what do u mean by that???

me: hey tasuku and omi were shirtless what's ur problem with azuma

anyways i reread and from what i understand they were maybe only flexing and doing a gun show? which like. no wonder it didnt last too long then lol. also explains why they didnt have shirtless sprites i suppose lmao. i am SO curious abt what azuma ended up doing tho that fade to black is so mysterious! did he tap dance? did he pole dance? the world will never know...

oh also im not like super familiar with azuma yet but my read on his personality is definitely like "I am so touch starved All The Time but I will be chill. :) :) this is fine :)" like he just seems to rly like being around people! just like basking in presence whether or not hes rly talking that much.

i enjoyed that juza mentioned pillow fighting with his lil brother... thats nice! i think a lot of this event was just focused on ppl having fun over the drama lol bc it got wrapped up sooo quick. i liked the bit where sakyos worried that izumi was out late searching for him tho it was so sweet. table tennis match was very fun although id argue calling hisoka and juza the two quietest tho lol like... banri exists so juza isnt quiet. just like inevitably. finally, the event cg!!! azumas hair tied up... so nice! thats how I tie my hair up sometimes tho it doesnt look nearly as nice lol. taichi rambling abt his first love for so long tho... lol. ill be honest i have to reread autumn bc i was not aware of this whole situation until it came up in the stranger and i like inferred from there. the end of this event was nice! it was cute. i dont rly have much thoughts on it but im so hype for the winter play

Hello:!!! so good to see you again, freshly learning from your mistakes then :3c

the connection with Citron is a BLAST to read about. I am glad that Citron is there, on your mind, supporting you at every turns of language. It's beautiful.

AND OH THE POKEMON LIST!!! thrilled to hear about it being a wip ongoing! take your time ofc and i hope you'll feel more confident as you go for your characters interpretation! i believe in you!

lmao i'm glad the events help you remember to play a3, i'm sure that by the time you'll be done with the events you will have unlocked so much of act 2 you won't have to worry too much about it. Anyway i'm glad you treat yourself to good things :3c

of course Hisoka fell asleep in the bath. tbh this event was a lot of "Hisoka almost dies in a spring house multiple times if it wasn't for his troupesmates". Between sleeping in the bath and almost swallowing the table tenis ball... where would we be without Winter, and especially Homare, taking care fo him.

I'm SO GLAD you like Homare that much! he's so so good! i'm sure there must be a masterlist somewhere, or well. can be done anytime i guess?? but yeah Homare is fantastic and LDJFDLKFJDF the evil plan to avoid dodgeball from both of you.. this is incredible DLKJFDLKF. But yeah alas he's loved by his own so he gets hit smh.

And yeah Hisoka is just acting sus huh.

BUT YEAH... YEAH... WINTER... BELOVED.... I feel regular and normal feelings for Winter as you know, s o .

(i'm so delighted that you feel that way about Taichi though, as he deserves!! what a good boy!!!)

But yeah Winter play next!!!!! i love the winter plays so much i hope you'll like it as well!! aND YEAH HISOKA AND HOMARE AS A DUO... for a DETECTIVE story?? so good.

I'm sO GLAD you like their dynamic! yeah i adore it too. Homare was so quick to leap into taking care of Hisoka? Like i mean he immediatly called him sleeping beauty when they first met, and immediately decided to be his roommates to watch over him, and then he did everything to take care of him and it's just so sweet. Homare has such a big heart he's so gentle with Hisoka. Homey and comfortable, whenever Hisoka admits it or not ahah.

ahah wouldn't be Sakyo if he didn't need to stay cheap. BUT YEAH the Sakyo/Azuma dynamic is pretty good. oh the event you talk about i think is in some of his very first backstage storyes (that you can read if you have them since they're at this point of the chronology). There's one where they play a mafia game and Sakyo is warry of Azuma because "people like him are those you need to worry about the most" and Azuma is just ":) you wound me :) i would never :)" and then Azuma wins the game and starts to mess with everyone. It was so fun. and yeah i see which clip you mean for the stage play!! it's so so fun they have such a neat dynamic and i loved to see it in this event as well.

and omg worrying about Taichi while he was just there preparing a fun time! this child really would have worried us all back then huh

but AHH YEAH TASUKU TAICHI.... It's such a neat dynamic! ofc i won't say anything but man i love the potential of their stories, as the two ex Godza boys. To see them bond and be comfortable with each other always make me so soft.

OH NICE CATCH FOR THE PUN! i think it must be the reason for it tbh, i love it! thanks for pointing it out!

The talent show was really fun yeah ahah! I wonder what it is in Japanese too but at least the localization was hella fun!

"anyways the way banri and juza being themselves Are the entertainment." THEY'RE SO SILLY I love them so much

AND LMAO YOUR REACTION AT AZUMA I LOVE IT. YEah i think Tasuku and Omi are just flexing (which is Still. SO FUNNY. Just there saying "our talents is.. our muscles...") meanwhile Azuma is like "my talent is that i'm crazy hot :)"

But YEAH Azuma... AZUMA WHAT DID YOU DO....

your read on Azuma's personality feels pretty spot on to me ahah omg. Staying with what you know about him, the fact that with his job and all, he seems like he's starving for connection while also terrified to make himself emotionally vulnerable. He loves staying with people, listening to them, caring for them, and he's touch starved as hell (i mean it's his job) but he doesn't seem to really know how to be on the receiving hand of affection. there's a flair talk, i can't remember where, with Omi at some point, where Azuma compliments him, and Omi is just "mhm.. but you know i think that it's more about you" and ends up complimenting Azuma in depth and it let Azuma dumbfounded because he didn't expect Omi to trick him at his own game, while Omi just genuinely don't get why Azuma is reacting that way. He gives he gives he gives, and he's genuinely happy with that, but he seems to have difficulties to take, or to demand for something, while also starving for it. I have so many emotions for Azuma.

Any mentions of Juza's little bro are the best things. I love this type of mention TwT

And yeah it was such a laid back event. Honestly deserved after the crying fest that was The Stranger imo. It's good to relax once in a while and it was nice to have them have fun. There was the bitterness of both Azuma and Sakyo's past that was always a bit looming but everyone was working so hard for them to enjoy themselves that the joy just overtake any sadness i loved it.

Sakyo worrying about Izumi is always adorable TwT

And yeah the Table Tennis match was so fun and chaotic LMAO. I love the dynamic between Juza and Hisoka. Just two usually quiet boys who like sweets. Except that yeah like you say, as long as Banri is around, Juza cannot be 100% quiet. Rip.

THE CG WAS SO PRETTY i loved seeing it. And omg you can share your hairtips with Azuma how nice :D Azuma manages to make everything look beautiful smh....

Oh yeah Taichi and his first love! if i recall he mentions it quickly at the begining, that Yuki reminds him of his first love, and he says that again at some point - then the fake Portrait he does he mentions his first love again. And since then it's been a reccuring topic so yeh :3c

but yeah! this event was really sweet and laid back, not much to say about it, but it was nice to have it at all!

Hope you'll like the winter play :3c

Take care and thank you again for your thoughts <33 i love reading them!! bless you!!

#ichafantalks a3 #sonnets of beauty #ichareply

[quietmyfearswith]

narcissist {carter baizen x fem!reader} 1/3

narcissist {carter baizen x fem!reader} 1/3

status — ongoing series

warnings — cursing, mentions of drug and alcohol intake/abuse, attempt at angst

word count (without the lyrics) — 1,995 words

a/n — so this is for @baezen’s the other guys writing challenge and my prompt was alcohol is the only constant in my life; the prompt will be italicized and bolded btw ! i was listening to narcissist by no rome and thought that the song fits perfectly with carter baizen and the prompt as well fit well into the story ,, listen to the song here if u want ,, feedback is appreciated and hope u guys have a lovely day !! :> y/f/n = your full name

masterlist | series masterlist

Took a picture of all my flaws

Or you can take a video on your phone

And you know that I would talk

But I'm too afraid to pick you up and go home

The ding of the elevator signaled me to step out of the elevator, and I did with a sigh — frustrated with the website that was opened up on my phone. Upon entering the penthouse, I headed for the master bedroom where the subject of the article is currently passed out on his bed.

Knocking three times, “Carter, you up?” My question was met with silence; despite this I still went ahead and entered his room. Clothes laying on the ground, a few beer bottles and shot glasses on the coffee table near his television, and his keys and wallets placed on his bedside table — the indications of how he had spent the night before; by hopping on from bar to bar and purchasing any kind of drink that had alcohol in it. At least this time he’s alone and not someone he had just slept with.

Approaching the side of the bed, I shook his back that was not facing me, hoping that this would wake him up from his deep slumber. He groggily groaned, turning to look at me with his sleepy and tired state, “Oh hey, Y/N. What time is it?”

I put my down and phone bag on the ottoman that was at the foot of his bed and looked into his walk-in closet for an outfit that would make him look decent and not look like he got dragged and passed around by people, “Well it’s way past time for you to correct your actions since people have already been talking about the stunt you pulled.”

This probably confused him as he sat up and tried to rub off the exhaustion he felt, “Can you be more clear with what you meant with that? Also, I really am curious about what time it is.” Going back from Carter’s closet — which happens to be made of glass and mirrors — and placing the down his outfit which consisted of a two piece Burberry suit that consists of a checkered maroon suit with a matching plain, maroon slacks and laying it down on the bed, “The time now is 9:28 in the morning,” I reached for my phone and shoved it to him with the website I have previously read still opened, “And this is what I meant when I implied that damage control was too late.” 

His shirtless upper body hit the back of the headboard as he began reading the content of my phone, “Spotted, Carter Baizen spending his earned wealth at various bars and clubs late last night. You may have previously known him for being the resident bad, playboy that you see in your school, but now just when it was starting to look like he was getting his act together, he reverts back to how he once was when he was a reckless teenager. I guess some old habits just die hard, don't they? You know you love me, xoxo, gossip girl.”

I laughed at the disgusted face Carter made after he finished reading what had got me annoyed earlier, “Well, at least I’m living my life well. Not compared to this jackass loser who keeps on documenting and reporting the lives of others since theirs is probably uneventful.”

I'm feeling Dazed like a magazine

Finding my own sanity

Wishing it'll all go away

Now we're smoking off the balcony

You're telling me profanities

Maybe it was never okay

“For fuck’s sake, Carter, do you not see the bigger issue here? It’s not just about how there is some loser out there talking about the life of others. But it’s about you how you are living your life! You are now a CEO, a fucking CEO! I don’t think business partners would be eager to make transactions and ventures with someone who acts as if they had just gotten their license and are now going out every chance they can to enjoy this privilege!” Carter looked at me coldly and was about to argue back but I continued to give him my two cents, “On top of that, I  think as well that the frequency of your alcohol, and possible drug intake is alarming, as well. And it's gotten to the extent that I feel like you should be seeing a professional to help you cope with this.”

I concluded my statement of concern and alarm by folding my arms together and looked at him seriously. Carter stood up and headed for the bathroom, I followed him and leaned by the door as he was washing up his face and waited for his reply. He stared at me through the mirror as he was drying his face, “I appreciate your concern, I really do. But I think you’re overreacting a little bit.”

I threw my hands up and scoffed at disbelief, “Seriously, Carter? Do you not recall the various times wherein I had to pick up your drunk or high ass — and by the way, there are some instances wherein you’re both high and drunk — from whatever bar you were misspending your money on.”

He turned around to look at me and crossed his arms — in annoyance, I presume — and fought back, “So what if I get blackout drunk a few times? It happens to the best of us! Have you not enjoyed yourself completely and just passed out from exhaustion from spending a night out? Oh wait, you probably haven’t! Which explains why you’re so fucking uptight!”

With one hand massaging my temples, I managed to remind him in a calm tone, “Did you forget what happened two months ago?”

345, that's where we stayed

She told me I'm a narcissist doing it again

Took a bunch of acid and she told me, "not again"

Now I've gotta tell her that I'm lovin' her friends

345, that's where we stayed

She told me I'm a narcissist doing it again

Took a bunch of acid and she told me, "not again"

Now I've gotta tell her that I'm lovin' her friends

My dreams of riding a unicorn while eating cake was suddenly interrupted when a loud ringing woke me up. Stretching my hand and patting for my phone on the bedside table. Recognizing how I had an incoming call, I swiped to accept it even though I was not awake or aware enough to check who was calling. “Hello?”

“Is this Ms. Y/F/N?” a woman asked as soon as I greeted her, I took a second to check my phone and only then did I notice how it was an unknown number that called me, “Yes, this is she, who’s asking?” My bones had suddenly become frigid in anticipating what the girl on the other end had to tell me. “Well your information was listed on one of our customer’s wallet and we had to call and let you know that Carter Baizen has passed out from drinking which resulted in him collapsing on the floor, head first.”

I let out a grunt as I put the call in speaker mode and got off the bed to throw over a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie, “Was he with anyone when he was drinking? And is he unconscious? And what address is your bar, by the way?” I was already outside my apartment and headed for my parked car by the time she had replied and given me the information I asked for.

Curse words and frustrated mumbles were leaving my lips as I was driving around the city, hoping to get to Carter faster and in time to prevent any unfortunate event from happening. Upon arriving at the bar, I was already opening my door before I had even parked my car and stormed inside the establishment.

“Hey, I was called in earlier for a patron who passed out and fell head first?” I approached a girl who was mopping floors near the entrance door, she nodded and told me that she was the one who called me and led me to where Carter was. They were kind enough to move him from the floor and lay him down on one of the booths.

I quickly took in his state — there were a few buttons of his long-sleeved polo that were unbuttoned, there were faint traces of alcohol in his shirt and face, while there was also a bit of blood residue from his head wound as a result of collapsing from the floor. “Thank you for calling me right away and for taking care of him, but I was wondering if you or another staff would be willing to help me bring him to my car?” the girl nodded and called for one of their male employees to help me bring Carter in.

That night was probably the most nervous and anxious I have ever felt; knowing that Carter could possibly be facing health problems from drinking too much and hitting his head. Seeing him this way has always affected me and has made me feel responsible for his well-being — not only because I was hired as his assistant, but because I was the only one who managed to tolerate and be with him for this long time. 

Fortunately enough, the doctor ruled that there was nothing currently wrong with his liver and kidney following his night of over intoxication. But that didn’t mean that he was completely out of the woods; I was warned of how if he spends more nights like this, it could probably lead to the failure of his organs to properly function. To add even more salt to that wound, he informed me about how Carter hitting his head was also dangerous and that it could have resulted in a serious head injury — but that wasn’t the case in this scenario. The medical official also told me that Carter was lucky for it did not lead to any complications and that he should be safe from it as long as he drinks responsibly and moderately to avoid these things from happening again.

And I've been seeing somebody

But I've not found a way to tell you

That I'm seeing somebody

There's not a nice way for me to say that

I've been seeing somebody

You know I want you to be happy

Since I'm seeing somebody

And then maybe we can get on with it

“You know, you don’t need to bring up what happened every time?” He said as he walked past me to grab his clothes and get dressed. I rolled my eyes and sat down on the ottoman as I stared at him, “I don’t need to? That’s where you’re wrong, Baizen. The only reason why I keep bringing it up is because — guess the fuck what — I’m the only person who gives a fuck about you! I’m the one you call every time your ass is too drunk to drive or when you’re high as the fucking clouds! Or if you can’t call, guess who’s name and number you have written down in your wallet? It’s mine! So yes, I bring it up every fucking time since I don’t want you to seize your night so fucking hard that you end up deceased the next day!” I angrily let out.

He was done dressing up by the time I had yelled out my grievances, “I’m sorry that I can’t stop myself from drinking or having a night out!” This unapologetic remark from him just angered me further, “Well then let me help you! Let a therapist or some other professional help you get through this! You don’t have to do it alone, Carter.” I reminded him as I stood up and put my hand on his shoulder, to show him how I was gonna guide him through this.

He pushed my hand away and walked towards his dresser and put on some cologne and began fixing his tie, “No, I don’t want your or anyone else’s help. Alcohol is the only constant in my life; it always has been and it always will be.” when these words have left his lips, I froze up in disbelief and hurt. I was there with him when he was struggling to establish himself as a businessman, saw his struggles and victories, and even outside of work I was the only who cared enough to make sure that he was fed and hydrated despite his busy schedule.

“What do you call me then?” I sadly asked him and this got him to stop his movements and turn to me. However before he could explain himself or go near me, I had already collected my things and headed to exit his room and suite, “Be at the office before 10:30 am, you have a meeting with representatives of the Eichner Enterprise at 10:30. The rest of your schedule will be emailed to you.” 

#my writing #quietmyfearswith #baezen #togwc #carter baizen x reader #carter baizen x fem!reader #carter baizen series #ceo!carter baizen x reader #ceo!carter baizen x assistant!reader #ceo!carter baizen x assistant!fem!reader #gossip girl #sebastian stan fanfiction

[littlelieshq]

hey my loyal readers, ALISE here, your one and only source of gosan’s finest. aren’t you curious about what i have in store for you today? don’t lie, of course you are! well, today’s highlight happens to be the one and only YOON SUNHEE. the yoon sunhee? yes, that’s right, her. you know her, don’t you? TWENTY-THREE, JUNIOR AT GOSAN U? no? well—i don’t blame you if you don’t, if you’ve seen one gosaner, you’ve seen them all. but this one, she’s a little special—not everyone took part in a prank that killed a classmate, after all.

                                     interested? well why wouldn’t you be?

                                        lucky for you i always deliver.

               ( TW DEATH, SUICIDE, HOMOPHOBIA, HOMOPHOBIC SLURS )

i.

Flowers loitered the school hallways, various pastel colors echoing a sense of mourn. Everything deemed itself too much; from the view of an endless black void cloaking every student, nothing but dim fairy lights aluminizing their last hopes; to the silence that filled every inch of her— forcing the teenager to gently quake. It’s.. too much.

“The problem is, Sunhee— If I kissed you,”

               “I don’t think I’d be able to stop.”

Images flickered through her mind at a dizzying rate, flashing freckles that dotted the other’s cheeks, and how they must have turned to stardust.. The glow of the deceased’s smile forced her hand to shake. Her fingers dug into crushed flowers over frustration. That — that person — their existence alone filled Sunhee’s veins up with liquid silver. The stings made the idea turn into a disease she could no longer cure. The only thing that.. person, has ever done was permit uncomfortable situations. Situations of flirting and touching, too much, too far. The whole point was to give her a lesson, a lesson that was well delivered.

Even so, something towards the back of her head encouraged a belief that she— she had no right to mourn. She had no right to comfort her fellow peers as they fall to their knees in loud sobs, tears staining their cheeks. So, only anger and hatred filled her to a leaking brim.

“Sunhee. You can’t seriously be feeling sorry for her, right? She fell. It wasn’t our fault. Now go before someone sees.”

But, was she mad at the photo framed with delicates before her? Or was she furious with herself?

The past several weeks, law enforcement officials have made the school their newly established home. Just, that their only purpose was to consistently question students on an ongoing missing persons case. The case was over Jeju High’s beloved— lesbian— Park Jiah. Although, it seemed that the police peaked an interest on Sunhee. After all, Sunhee was the local gossip queen.. and the deceased’s biggest crush.

“Keep your mouth fucking shut. This could destroy all of our lives.” “We did this for you, Sunhee, why are you backing out now? You wanted that faggot off your ass.”

The case went cold.

It went cold until the discovery of Jiah’s body at the bottom of a lake, skull ripped to shreds and fish feeding off of flesh. They classified the autopsy as a suicide which closed the case permanently after two months.

Yet, You don’t get to die and be reborn the same. You come back, yet you come back wrong.

ii.

Maybe being handed life from two famous celebrities made it so simple. As if an all out pass to society’s perfect face was nothing but a gift from absent loving parents. Everything from that point on continued to be handed to her with ease, she began to believe it was a basic right. A right that those who were made to stand had, and those who didn’t receive, were just stepping stones.

Even fame was something to be groomed for, the public eye always kept a close look towards her actions anyways. Cameras consistently monitored every movement, trend, place, vacation— anything. Paparazzis couldn’t get enough of Korea’s new perfect little sunshine.

But, she thrived in it, breathed it, demanded it. It’s all she’s ever known.

Sunhee continued to desire more— yes, more than that high school popularity or the rapid growth of social media accounts.. More, more, more. She wanted the public to bow down to her like a princess. She threaded unadulterated beauty to her core, flexed it. Every smile thrown a direction always caused a beautiful headline photo. Just what more could she receive? Displeasure began to seep towards darkened corners. It wasn’t enough, it was never enough.

So, the young adult inserted herself into different communities to stretch the name. Makeup, SFX, fashion, modeling— what else couldn’t she pull off or turn into her own trend? It was a sense of feminine art that etched into her creativity, something she grew to adore rather quickly with makeup being her largest focus. Such a focus that college permitted her into a business major in hopes to develop her own company.

Sunhee must have saved an entire nation from a previous life to be rewarded with an easy access life. Or, at least.. the public believes her day-to-day is that simple.

Don’t know the name? Now you do.

#ll:accepted #krp #llsp:fm #fm_05

[geejaysmith]

Kat and I have amazing conversations sometimes and I felt they had to be shared. Also, alienfuckers, dad jokes, Maxwell’s alternative lifestyle and other headcanons, and Ace Attorney: Doug Eiffel edition. Full transcript under the cut.

Gill [Yesterday at 6:05 PM]: On an Unrelated topic: after the finale the crew remembers "OH YEAH, EIFFEL ACTUALLY HAD A FACE-TO-FACE CONVERSATION WITH ALIENS" and now in addition to all the other reasons to want him to Remember they're really freakin' curious to know how that went

Kat [Yesterday at 6:11 PM]: Minkowski: so what did they look like Eiffel: me (They do seem to like his body, they had a few models to choose from when talking to Cutter.)

Gill [Yesterday at 6:13 PM]: Eiffel, probably: at least the aliens think I'm cool I know what was meant by that but your phrasing made me think "In a shocking turn of events, it is the aliens who are attracted to the human." The aliens... are alienfuckers

Kat [Yesterday at 6:17 PM]: I don't think that's their jam but that WOULD be just his luck

Gill [Yesterday at 6:18 PM]: It is unlikely, but also: it would be hilarious

Kat [Yesterday at 6:21 PM]: the aliens keep sending me mental sexts and i crave death

Gill [Yesterday at 6:22 PM]: And lo another shitpost transforms into a fanfic concept, like a humble irradiated lizard becoming Godzilla: "would you fuck your clone?"

Kat [Yesterday at 6:28 PM]: leave him alone has the man not suffered enough

Gill [Yesterday at 6:28 PM]: No

Kat [Yesterday at 6:29 PM]: sigh

Gill [Yesterday at 6:29 PM]: Dance for my amusement, Douglas And also because I earnestly suspect that in the case of Eiffel and an interested alien-consciousness-in-the-form-of-a-Xerox-copy-of-him the answer would end up being "yes"

Kat [Yesterday at 6:34 PM]: idk i feel like it'd be more like "Oh what you spend two fucking years trying to drag us into the star because you can't be assed to make an appearance but you'll teleport across the galaxy for a booty call? Fuck you and I mean that figuratively" later sluts

Gill [Yesterday at 6:36 PM]: Bob is a bad datemate Is this entire train of thought brought on by the fact I still think of the person who expressed they shipped Bob/Eiffel in the tags of the "Take your double to Disneyland" post? Perhaps

Kat [Yesterday at 6:39 PM]: i don't know that you can have this at the same time as 'what if the aliens' bodies are still the people suppressed' without it getting Fucked Up but that's your perogative I guess as long as I don't have to hear about it family can't walk w me tonight so i need to hit the treadmill for a bit. ttyl

Gill [Yesterday at 6:41 PM]: See u in a bit! But ah yes, I hadn't thought of that til you brought it up Points at one explanation of Dear Listener manifestations for some ideas, points at a different explanation for ideas that would become unintentionally Pretty Fucked Up under the first explanation Although there is comedy potential to be found in Eiffel and Eiffel-2 having the "are we down with this" conversation In the /Justin McElroy voice, "someone just discovered they have ~the world's worst fetish~" sense

Kat [Yesterday at 7:33 PM]: a different terrible concept: eiffel with his pop culture references restored will likely be called upon to testify at the united nations

Gill [Yesterday at 7:37 PM]: O h  g o d Ace Attorney: Doug Eiffel edition

Kat [Yesterday at 7:46 PM]: i mean they're gonna have to tell the world SOMEHOW and i'd think the international court would want to know and he's the one with the subconscious recall implanted sidenote if the DL can do that mental transfer could they have just... asked them to reupload whatever their most recent scan of eiffel was there are so many ways around this that's why it failed to get much of an emotional rxn from me

Gill [Yesterday at 7:47 PM]: Minkowski and Lovelace trying to get him to practice his testimony bc if they hit enough subconscious recall triggers they can at LEAST get thru an explanation of the aliens without Eiffel going off into a tangent Once they're off the Dear Listeners' script though all bets are off

Kat [Yesterday at 7:48 PM]: here's a list of preplanned questions your honor we're not responsible if you ask anything else

Gill [Yesterday at 7:51 PM]: Eiffel, maybe: now Goddard didn't send up us there to bring home any xenomorphs but let me tell you, with the Decima project? They might as WELL have let a facehugger get up close and personal with me The translators rapidly swapping notes on late 70's sci-of cinema because a handful of them actually know what he's talking about

Kat [Yesterday at 7:54 PM]: Minkowski headdesking behind him Eiffel English isn't most of these people's first languages

Gill [Yesterday at 7:57 PM]: The news cameras are all dead-focused on Eiffel. He's hit his stride and is picking up steam. "And it was right around the time I was coughing up my liquefied respiratory system that I thought to myself, gee, I'd MUCH rather get a face of alien wing-wong than deal with this!" Minkowski is off to the side. She is visibly restraining herself. No poker face in the world can hide how hard she is longing for death. Whether it is hers or Eiffel's is a subject of contentious debate.

Kat [Yesterday at 7:58 PM]: someone at an elementary school: hey Garcia, is that your dad

Gill [Yesterday at 8:01 PM]: Anne, who was four the last time she saw her father in person, gets one look at the man weaving an intricate Star Wars metaphor out of crimes against humanity and recognizes him instantly, but signs back "I have never seen this guy before in my life."

Kat [Yesterday at 8:04 PM]: good call kiddo

============

Gill [Yesterday at 8:10 PM]: Honestly I love the concept that no matter how much Eiffel may drive them up the wall sometimes the rest of the crew would meet Anne and immediately be ready to kill a man for her sake

Kat [Yesterday at 8:15 PM]: as far as we know he's the only crewmember with kids women in the military... it wouldn't be easy even if you wanted one, which idk if any of them did

Gill [Yesterday at 8:15 PM]: Wait wait, brainwave: it is actually AMAZING that Minkowski had no idea Eiffel had a child because... does he seem like the kind of guy. Who would ever resist a Dad Joke.

Kat [Yesterday at 8:15 PM]: haha fair

Gill [Yesterday at 8:16 PM]: Eiffel: Actually, I have amazing self-restraint when I choose to exercise it. (Various noises of disbelief.) Eiffel: have you ever heard me tell a dad joke? No? I rest my case

Kat [Yesterday at 8:21 PM]: biggest plot hole of the series more like it was too painful a memory but still

Gill [Yesterday at 8:22 PM]: If he ever patches that connection it'll open the floodgates

Kat [Yesterday at 8:26 PM]: He'll become the Maes Hughes of the gang, except with fewer war crimes

Gill [Yesterday at 8:27 PM]: ...has anyone on this crew done war crimes? SI-5 excepted of course, they have obviously done war crimes

Kat [Yesterday at 8:32 PM]: yeah SI5 is war crime central I'm not sure about some of the other stuff executing a prisoner? idk about Minkowski

Gill [Yesterday at 8:32 PM]: Also my thought

Kat [Yesterday at 8:32 PM]: she wasn't a formal pow though it was an ongoing engagement I don't know the rules

Gill [Yesterday at 8:32 PM]: Minkowski Has Done One (1) War Crime (Goddard Futuristics attempts to bring that against her in the court case only for Maxwell to stroll in like lol what's up gang)

Kat [Yesterday at 8:37 PM]: does Goddard in its current incarnation last long enough to sue anyone i mean i think you could sue them for attempted genocide

Gill [Yesterday at 8:38 PM]: Look I have had one semester of business law You were the one who almost went to law school Also re: other characters being parents, the only one I could see going kiiiinda either way on the subject is Lovelace and it wouldn't have been terribly high on her priority list prior to the Hephaestus mission I can see characters having the opinion that they could see Minkowski as a mom but she and her husband both strike me as understanding themselves and one another as being more career-oriented

Kat [Yesterday at 8:44 PM]: yeah if she wanted to rise in the ranks of the military... that would probably be a strike against her

Gill [Yesterday at 8:44 PM] And the implication she's got a Complex about her parents having both left promising careers to raise her Also, Lovelace: Well I always said I could see myself settling down someday, maybe have a family if I met the right person, but when I took the job with Goddard it was legally dubious whether I could actually do that- Eiffel: Because you're an alien? Eiffel: Eiffel: ...wait a sec

Kat [Yesterday at 8:54 PM]: ha It's ok to be gay in space

Gill [Yesterday at 8:56 PM]: Alternatively it's Hera who said that bc didn't connect those dots right away, meanwhile Eiffel saw Lovelace in a flannel shirt once and Knew Immediately Eiffel may be dumb but somehow his Bi-Fi has yet to fail him

Kat [Yesterday at 8:59 PM]: Hera doesn't grasp  human sexuality nuances

Gill [Yesterday at 9:01 PM]: Funny addition to above thought: Eiffel put together that Jacobi was gay after like three days on the Urania, was the only one on the Hephaestus crew to do so, and just never felt it was relevant to bring up Hera, my child... you have much to learn (Also, Hera, probably: I'm experimenting at the moment, I'm looking for a torrent so I can download lesbianism)

Kat [Yesterday at 9:04 PM]: I don't know which option is funnier, that Jacobi is just Really Fucking Obvious but Eiffel was the only one paying attention or that it was super subtle and everyone's like How Did You Do That lovelace's righteous fury overwhelmed her gaydar, she was too mad to go 'same hat'

Gill [Yesterday at 9:07 PM]: Eiffel: I have something to confess to all of you... Jacobi: Eiffel literally not a single person on this ship is straight Eiffel: Oh I was just going to recount a PG version of my wild younger days, let's just say I know a thing or two because I've seen a thing or two.

Kat [Yesterday at 9:07 PM]: Jacobi on Earth: Just matched with myself on Grinder a-fucking-GAIN

Gill [Yesterday at 9:10 PM]: Jacobi: Oh I definitely picked up on it but who wants to go playing into stereotypes by speculating on what may or may not be a promiscuous history? Eiffel: Promiscuous? Look I've got notches in my belt but mostly I just ended up laying in somebody's bathtub at a house party while just conscious enough to nod along to someone else's relationship drama. Eiffel: to several sororities, I was the Gay Bathtub Wizard.

Kat [Yesterday at 9:11 PM]: Maxwell on day one of orientation: So if SI5 is paramilitary what's their stance on alternative lifestyles? Jacobi: I was recruited in a gay bar.

Gill [Yesterday at 9:12 PM]: Her asking the question has my brain going in several different directions

Kat [Yesterday at 9:13 PM]: I think she was recruited right after dadt was repealed... if obama exists in this universe fantasy obama

Gill [Yesterday at 9:15 PM]: One part of my brain: Maxwell is also gay Another part of my brain: Maxwell is exclusively attracted to nonhuman persons Yet another part of my brain, most adjacent to number #2: Maxwell voice, who in their right mind would build a robot that can't fuck? The 4th part of my brain: Maxwell wants to know how chill they'll be with her living exclusively off energy drinks and frozen yogurt for weeks at a time

Kat [Yesterday at 9:15 PM]: honestly I figured whatever it was it was MUCH weirder than just being gay

Gill [Yesterday at 9:15 PM]: Maxwell: I have plans to take over the world with my army of battle bots and rule as their robot queen.

Kat [Yesterday at 9:16 PM]: Maxwell: wait if you were recruited in a gay bar does that mean our boss frequents those or did he just go there to get you Jacobi: Believe me the question haunts me also Jacobi: sounds great i'm in

Gill [Yesterday at 9:16 PM]: Or, Maxwell: I am not joking for an instant when I say that I for one welcome our alien overlords "When I was 13 I tried to get myself abducted by aliens" except it's not a joke it's an actual minor headcanon of mine Also I almost typed "adopted" rather than "abducted" which shows you why Alana would probably want to do that

Kat [Yesterday at 9:19 PM]: she did say she's on bad terms with her family

Gill [Yesterday at 9:20 PM]: She grew up a pastor's kid in a tiny rural town in Montana, hearing that they don't get along is the furthest thing from a surprise to me. The surprise is that Maxwell has a restraining order against them

Kat [Yesterday at 9:21 PM]: tht implies the court found reasonable cause to issue one wack anyway i had a long day, i'm gonna call it a night

Gill [Yesterday at 9:21 PM]: o/ But yeah that Maxwell empathizes with nonhumans, apparently more than with most regular humans, that makes perfect sense to me I can see her frustration with the AI Ethics board in her last job Expressing Their Concerns and her suppressing flashbacks to many a Creationist rant, and trying to keep her eye from twitching visibly, and no I am not projecting I am just coloring in blank spaces in the narrative with my relevant life experience

#wolf 359 #conversations with kat #deliverusfromsburb

[starrystellars]

land of gods and monsters | chapter one

summary: steve's life gets turned upside-down when he meets a mysterious woman on a dark alley, right after getting beaten up to the ground. after dramatic events, he gets tangled up into a web of criminals, drugs and life-changing events. pre-serum!steve x mob!reader

warnings: language, violence, overall dark stuff. painfully long descriptive writing. 

word count: 3.7k

a/n: hey!! the first chapter is finally here; sorry for the wait folks. life has been interesting for a while and i only now could come back to writing like i used to. sorry for bad spelling and spacing, i have no beta reader and i wrote this in a splurge of inspiration. sorry for the lack of action in this chapter; i promise shit is going down in the next one lmao :D well, enjoy my loves!! ps. remember to check out the prequel! u can also ask to be on my taglist!!

PREQUEL

1936

It had been a miracle. The police officers had found him lying in a deep puddle of dirt, white skin vividly purple under the glimmering street lights. Fragile features of the boy had almost made outlookers think he had already passed to the other side, probably for days at a time, if the police officers hadn't found a faint heartbeat from the sickly body that was lying on their hands. Blue-tinted lips, and skin so transparent you could've seen the veins dancing underneath it, almost got the best officer on the team fooled, and no wonder. It was almost impossible for the boy to be alive in such rough conditions, but there was something in him, that wanted desperately to stay alive; a will so strong that not even a higher power could rip it away.

It had taken a good two days in the recovery wing for the blonde boy to finally come back to his senses. The hit on his head was so bad that the nurses had actually expected him not to even remember what happened, nor to be able to function like a normal person for at least a good while. However, the little fighter had proved himself wrong the second he stopped staring at his eyelids, almost jumping up on his feet with a loud gasp that escaped between his blue tinted lips. With a fractured jaw and a broken nose, he looked like an absolute mess, but was more than good to stand up, and get back home after those crucial days inside of the sterilized walls. On the outside, he tried to give all the worried nurses a weak smile, blushing just a bit from all the attention he was getting, but in reality he just desperately wanted to hide from the curious eyes that were assigned to look after him. He really wasn't ready to accept the help -- nor he could actually afford it for that matter. The Great Depression had affected his family, just like every other ol' American household, and after the better half of his parents had died, it was almost impossible to keep up with everything he had to pay for. Being a complete idiot was not a good thing to add on the long list of already existing loans, and he was completely aware of that. However, he couldn't help but to follow his heart, that always led him on to dangerous situations, as he tried to save others from all the evil in the world.

The whole way back to Brooklyn was dreadful at best. A limp and a bunch of broken bones didn't ease his way, and for the first time ever, Steve thought he would get caught while sneaking into the creaking subway of the New York City. Most of the times, he and his best friend, Bucky, were quick enough to run into the cars without being noticed, but this time, a complete wreck of a boy got more curious eyes than he had wished. It took all of his willpower not to wince every step he took, while trying not to lean too much on any of his limbs, just to avoid crashing onto the ground and start crying like a child. It didn't help at all, that he was desperately out of his mind, trying to go through the flashing memories of the night he had passed out on that alley. The warmth that flushed on his pale cheeks every single time he thought about the woman, and her soft gaze, was distracting at best, but still couldn't take away the physical pain that he was enduring the whole subway-ride. After an hour of gruesome traveling, he found himself staring, with relieved eyes, at the tall, wooden, stairs that looked like a passage to heaven. Bright rays of the early morning sun were almost blinding him, as the gaze of his blue irises tried their best to adjust for the dusty air, clearly calculating would climbing up to the apartment be a good idea after all. "Steve! Where the hell have you been?" A familiar voice made the boy turn around automatically, ocean blue eyes instantly locking with the brown orbs of his very best friend. The usual playful smirk, that always was loosely hanging on Bucky's lips, had changed into a worried frown, as he was trying to come up with a collective question to get some information about what had happened. He was clearly stressed, running fingers through his neatly slicked back hair, looking his best friend up and down. "I tried to search for you everywhere," Bucky almost groaned, tilting his head to the side just slightly, as he took another step closer. "You don't even know how stressed out ma has been, when you didn't show up for dinner two days ago." Steve couldn't help but to let out a deep sigh, lowering his gaze to the ground like an abused puppy. His head couldn't comprehend anything, even though he was for sure that nothing was, per say, wrong to begin with. The memories from the night he got beaten up to the curb were blurry, and Steve wasn't even sure how he ended up in a situation like that. It was unusual that the only clear image he had in his mind was of the mysterious woman, who somehow had given him more hope than anyone else before. Maybe he was just starstruck. "Look, there's not too much to say," Steve mumbled under his breath, the sound hitching in his throat from all the dryness. It was almost unnatural to speak, after so long for being silent, and he immediately regretted being weak in front of Bucky. Even when Steve knew that his best friend wouldn't judge, nor pressure, him about anything, he hated to feel pitied and belittled. It had always been like that, no matter what the circumstance. Slightly shaking his head, Steve turned to face the stairs of faith once again, taking a first step away from his best friend with a mind that was running ten laps a second. He could physically feel Bucky's stare burn a hole on his back, but at that point he didn't give a time for the thought, as he kept on climbing up. Bucky, on the other hand, stood on his ground, watching how his best friend tried to play off his weaknesses, almost tripping over on his feet while clearly wincing in pain every step he took. Over the years, he had learnt to know Steve to be pretty stubborn, sometimes painfully so, but the injuries were way too much this time to be unnoticed. Usually Bucky tried his best to let his lifelong friend to be, because he knew that acting out was something he loved to do and even had to do to keep up those high emotional walls. This time, he just couldn't stand to watch him almost fall apart in front of him like that. "C'mon now," Bucky let out a deep sigh, as he decided to catch up on the smaller boy. He had to almost take hold of Steve, as soon they both reached the top of the stairs, since it highly looked like the blonde boy was about to fall backwards and break his neck. "Listen, maybe I could stay the night? I stole one of those magazines with comic strips on them, and I think the new series is something you'd like. We can just have fun and not talk, if that's what you want?" Steve couldn't help but to admire his friend’s determination, but it still felt bad having to be babied like that. It had been extremely hard for Steve to accept help after his mother had passed, even though he knew that the Barnes family just wanted the best for him. Sometimes it was just way too hard to accept that things were going bad -- especially since Steve knew how hard the times were for his best friends' family too. Without a word to his best friend, Steve opened the door to the dim apartment, stepping inside to his own lonely bubble. Right after the door shut with a bang, he allowed his weak body to slide down onto the floor with a soft whimper. The once warm and welcoming apartment had turned into a trap; cold and moldy, old memories hanging dangerously fragile on the peeling wallpaper. A once beautiful atmosphere was ruined and ripped to pieces, and Steve couldn't help but to think how much it would take to build it up again. As those blue orbs of his were covered, once again, by heavy eyelids, he couldn't help but to wonder how could the room around him be so chilly during such a warm spring day. /////   It had taken a long time to get used to living alone. After years of looking after his mother, her passing had left a human-sized void inside of his fragile heart. Maybe he should've anticipated her passing; she was a nurse after all, working in such conditions that were hard for even grown men to comprehend. The woman was a superhero in Steve's eyes, and he had always looked up to his dear mother- she could do no wrong. She had taught Steve everything; how to survive in a big city and how to take care of the house, but most importantly, she had taught him all the morals he needed. It was one of the many reasons why he had the urge to help everyone, and fight for justice, and so many times his late mother had joked that he'd make a good police officer in the future. Except it was physically impossible. His ongoing sickness, and all the weaknesses that came with it, had always been sort of belittled in the Rogers family, since Steve's mother had desperately tried to teach her son that a physical form didn't matter too much. It was the personality that made a person worthy, and it was something to always keep in mind. However, in Steve's case, he was constantly struggling with fever and other illnesses, and most of the doctors had claimed he wouldn't see his twentieth birthday, breaking the spirit of a young man. One of the hardest things that he had to do while getting accustomed to his new lifestyle, had to be getting along with daily tasks. Yes, Steve was helpful and always there for his mother, but she basically ran the household, so he had barely actually learned any practical things. Every single day she had made sure that her son had something to eat, and somehow kept the apartment clean no matter what. Even after getting sick, she still tried to tidy up her surroundings to make the house more presentable, not listening to Steve's complaints about how she should've gotten some rest. After getting used to that kind of treatment, it was hard to manage for himself, and even going to the store was a job on its own. Somehow he needed to mentally prepare himself, counting all the coins just in case he would accidentally live over his limits, going through the shopping list at least ten times just in case he wouldn't forget anything. This time was no exception -- he did all in his willpower to make everything as complicated as possible, only stepping out of his apartment when he had made sure that he would not forget that thin piece of paper on the kitchen counter. The breezy air against his pale skin was refreshing, since after bumping into Bucky, he hadn't gotten much fresh air. Still feeling a bit dizzy and weak from the hospital trip, he had decided that it was best to just stay hidden for a while, and not take any of the pity. At the back of his mind, Steve had decided to avoid his best friend just enough to get some space. Even when he cared about Bucky a lot, he needed to take a step back just every once in a while. Inseparable or not. The dusty morning air made Steve cough just a little, as he stepped down the crowded road towards the market hall. The allergy season was catching up, and he could already feel his asthma starting to act up, once again. The dirty New York air was one of the worst things that he could think about for his condition, but even if he was given the choice, he wouldn't have moved anywhere else. Home was always home. He desperately needed to be surrounded by something familiar, no matter what, as if it was the only thing that gave him some form of stability and safety. Somehow, the dirty streets and noisy people had became part of his life, did he enjoy it or not. Hazy atmosphere of the city had captivated Steve's attention fully, as he squinted to look up at the tall buildings, and all the people he could see hanging around on their balconies. It was something he really loved to do; to study people during their everyday tasks, trying to save the memories on his retinas for later as a reference for his art. Playing with colours and shapes was always something that he loved to do, and art really was close to his beating heart. Even when he knew that all the sketches he had done were not the best ones in the world, he still enjoyed it and considered getting a job on that field some beautiful day. Lost in his daydreams, Steve was completely unaware of the situation around him. He was truly blind to the fact, that people were moving away from something, that was moving quickly amongst the people, trying to shove everyone off their way. The blonde boy didn't seem to hear how a mass of people mutually groaned at this person, who was either running away from something or just really late from an important task. Unfortunately, thanks to Steve's incapability to be aware of his surroundings, he soon felt like bumping into something, or someone, that sent him flying backwards on the pavement. The boy groaned in pain, body still on fire from his recovery process, as he felt someone lean over his very useless body. He tried to squint, as the sun was almost burning his eyes off, but all he could see was a figure that belonged to a woman. Oh god, of course. Steve wasn't known to be good with women; especially when it came down to awkward situations, and to be so close to a girl who literally ran into him, was one of the most embarrassing situations of his life. Yes, he had went on dates when Bucky had literally forced him into doing so, and all of them ended up tragically, but colliding into a girl and falling down? What was he going to do. "Oh my lord, I'm so sorry," an apologizing yelp was let out in the air by the girl, who had kneeled next to the boy with a concerned look on her face. It was still hard to see for Steve, who tried his best to avoid the sunshine that was almost bullying his eyes, but only the sound of her was enough to get Steve baffled. He knew her. For some reason, Steve found her face familiar as ever; like she had appeared in a dream long forgotten somewhere in the past. Even when it was almost impossible to place the pieces together in his spinning head, the soft touch of the girl's hand against his own sparked up a memory that was pushed way back in his head. As the boy dusted himself off and raised his gaze, the realization hit him right across the face like a lightening. He couldn't believe who was standing right in front of him, as Steve took a better look at the girl's delicate features. It was her. After days of wondering was all he saw just a big fever dream, he finally got to understand that it wasn't just some reflection he had seen while lying half-dead with a severe concussion. The situation was so completely out of place, that Steve couldn't help but stare at the girl right in front of him with big eyes, forgetting completely that they were on a public space. It could've been considered rude, but his clear confusion was just way too adorable to count as a stalkerish action. He just couldn't stop himself from studying her clearly strong aura, the soft curve on her lips, and the way her eyes were filled with life. She was radiating with such energy, that Steve couldn't still believe she was true. "Are you okay?" The girl asked, looking fairly concerned, as she gently placed her hands on both of his forearms. Steve couldn't help but to automatically flinch at this action, it being rather an open gesture, and he clearly wasn't used to that. With an apology, the girl quickly retrieved her hands to herself, clearly taken aback of her own actions, as she clearly looked phased. Steve couldn't do much more than to nod at her question, clearly making the girl ease up a little, as she tilted her head to the side with a smirk playing on her painted lips. "Good, amazing. Wonderful," the tone those words slipped out from the girls lips made Steve's eyebrows grow together, as he watched how the lady in front of him was looking over her shoulder. The concerning look on her face was telling a lot, but the boy wasn't really following. He was mesmerized by the girl, who had already stolen his heart and ran away with it a long time ago. "M-ma'am, is there something wrong?" It was hard for Steve to form a courage to let out the words, and he even had to cough a little to get his voice to be heard, but the girl didn't seem to care about it. She looked unphased as ever, giving the boy a slight smile, before peeking over the boy's shoulder, a playful smirk growing more visible on her face. It was like she saw something amusing, but there was something in her eyes that messaged that something wasn't right. "I, uhh.. I'd like to chat, but I really gotta run," she flashed a clear fake smile at the boy, gaze blinking under the blinding rays of the sun, without breaking eye-contact with the skinny boy right in front of her. "Take care."

The last words were left lingering in the air, sweet as honey, and as soft as a blowing wind on a sunkissed meadow. Steve could feel the touch of her fingers still holding onto his shaky arms, as he turned to gaze at her quick disappearance, way too late for her light-speed run. It was like she vanished into thin air, leaving only desperation behind. Heavy voices of all the people on the street almost crawled into his ear, as he realised the world around him had continued to live again, after such disturbance. Before turning around, baffled as ever, he noticed something bulky at the end of his feet; sticking out like it was the seventh wonder of the world. Blue eyes sparkled with curiosity, as he lowered down to pick up a brown suitcase, color already chipping off from the sides of its molded form. It was actually a slight struggle for him to pick up something heavy like that, grunting painfully at the action that caused his old wounds to ache. Squinting his eyes, Steve realised something green peeking between a slot of the case, but before he could realise what was going on, he heard a loud yell behind his small form. "Lower the case and put your hands up!" The sound startled Steve, who turned around, just in time to catch the gun that was firmly pointed at him from a safe distance. Messy, blonde locks, were covering his view just enough, but he could see the officer's strict face eyeing him up and down. The moment felt heavy. A wrong move and he would be cold on the ground. That's when he dropped the case. His whole life slowed down, like a film that was dragging along the player incorrectly. Voices and pictures were blurring together, as he could feel his heart pounding in his chest so hard it could’ve probably physically broke him. The police officers let out a unison indecipherable yell, that Steve couldn't catch up on, as an older officer literally leaped over to him, ready to detain him with clear force. Right before his head came in contact with the ground, Steve could finally realise why he was tackled to the ground, helpless and without a question. Somehow, he didn't register what had happened when he accidentally let go of the luggage in his hands, but it was way worse than he had originally wondered.  It was double the times worse. You see, he could have never guessed that he'd find himself standing in a pile of freshly pressed dollars, little to no information whose money it actually was. Steve was framed, and there was nothing he could do about the fact how guilty he looked like, standing there like a deer in the headlights. The police had little to no interest in listening to his soft whimpers, as they pulled back his arms to cuff his thin wrists behind Steve's back. His small form was nothing against the literal force of three separate cops, who casually held him on his stomach, as he tried to squirm away like a worm, only scratching new holes onto his beige coat. Just as his head was being shoved against the rough pavement by one of the police, he realised what was going on. It literally hit him.

#steve rogers imagine #steve rogers x reader #captain america x reader #captain america imagine #mcu reader insert #marvel reader insert #avengers reader insert #steve rogers #captain america #pre serum steve x reader #mcu imagine #jennie writes

[beccaland]

What are your opinions on the RTD era's companions' relationship with the Doctor? 'Cos personally, they bother me a little sometimes, and I was curious what your opinion was.

Yeah, they bother me a little too. I’m actually going to share some thoughts about the characters themselves, as well as their respective relationships to the Doctor. Partly, I want to do that because not to do so would be an injustice to the characters. So, here goes.

Rose (and Mickey a bit, because you can’t really separate an analysis of their characters and he’s a companion too):

Rose is a charismatic character, and I think just right for relaunching the series. She’s young and displays many of the flaws of young people, yet in other ways is more mature than other adults, including her own mum–indeed Rose is often seen taking on a role of parenting her parent. While Jackie seems content to live off the dole, Rose has a job. It’s not a particularly good job, but she seems to be given a fair bit of trust and responsibility, probably above what her official position warrants, which suggests that she’s earned the admiration and reliance of her boss–and given her home life, that’s not surprising. Rose is clearly used to having to be more responsible than her peers. She’s vibrant, curious, compassionate, and brave.

She also takes advantage of Mickey’s affection for her, perhaps without realizing it (at least at first). She’s pretty judgy generally, and she’s not above using the Doctor as well. This suggests that despite (perhaps in part because of) being brought up by an emotionally immature parent and having to take on a lot of responsibility before she was really old enough to bear it, Rose is quite selfish.

Now, as to her relationship to the Doctor, meeting him does two things for her: it gives her an apparently easy escape from a life she feels trapped in, and it gives her the opportunity to develop a relationship with someone unlike anyone she’s ever known, who seems to see potential in her far beyond what any other person in her life has ever shown (especially Jackie and Mickey), and who is both willing and able to protect her and to care about what she feels and wants. Am I saying the Doctor started out as more of a parent-substitute than a boyfriend? Yes I am. Is that kind of creepy? I think so. But not necessarily more creepy than him being her boyfriend, given the age gap.

OK, so Rose gives Mickey a kiss and obliquely tells him “thanks for nothing” before swanning off with the Doctor. By the time she comes back, a year has passed for everyone she knows but just one day for her. This causes ENORMOUS problems for Jackie and Mickey in particular, and she does seem genuinely sorry (well, sorry to Jackie–she seems mostly annoyed with Mickey’s anger AT BEING SUSPECTED OF MURDERING HER. BECAUSE SHE RAN OFF WITH AN ALIEN). This gets swiftly brushed aside by alien shenanigans, and Rose swans off again–leaving Mickey apparently in some doubt as to their relationship status. The nature of her relationship to the Doctor is also left ambiguous at this point, but she’s clearly not thinking of him as “substitute for parental acknowledgement and affection” anymore. She flirts like crazy with Jack who flirts like crazy with both her and the Doctor and both she and the Doctor seem vaguely jealous of the other’s attention to Jack. Back to Mickey meeting them in Wales, who apparently STILL DOESN’T KNOW that Rose has basically dumped him, and does she make that clear? No, but the Doctor is acting more and more like a jealous boyfriend (and really doesn’t stop treating Mickey like garbage until the poor guy saves them and stays behind in Pete’s World, thus earning his respect, I guess, and also removing the threat), and none of this is Mickey’s fault. He’s astute enough to see, at least, that the Doctor and Rose’s relationship is destructive to others.

After the Doctor regenerates, they’re 100% in couple mode, with Rose referring to the events of S1E2 as their “first date” and the Doctor happily assenting to this characterization (has Rose actually broken up with Mickey yet? Honestly can’t remember, but I don’t think Mickey knew it if she had). The Doctor and Rose have a deeply codependent relationship. We might attribute this to her dysfunctional relationship with Jackie and the Doctor’s recent PTSD. They latch onto each other like needy puppies, and this isn’t a criticism, because there are really people who fit these profiles, and they are not bad people, and it does make for interesting characters and good storytelling, but it’s by no means a healthy depiction of a relationship.

Consider, for instance, that the Doctor tries to send her away (no doubt he felt he was making a noble sacrifice, but he did this against her clear and repeatedly expressed wishes, and with the complicity of Pete). Rose ignores the Doctor’s clearly expressed wishes and comes back, which, fair enough I guess, but it all ends in tragedy anyway. So what does he do? HE BURNS UP AN ENTIRE SUN just so he can say goodbye. I mean, I’m sure he verified it was not an inhabited solar system, but seriously. In that goodbye chat, he specifically tells her that they cannot get across the barrier between universes because “the whole thing would fracture. Two universes would collapse.”

Does Rose accept the judgment of the person who is unquestionably the foremost person in either universe able to evaluate the risk of such an attempt? No she doesn’t. We learn in series 4 that even before the stars started going out, she was having Torchwood build a DIMENSION CANNON to P U N C H. A. H O L E. IN THE UNIVERSES!!! like presumably as many as it took for her to find the right one. Just so she could get back to him. AFTER HE MADE IT CLEAR THAT IS NOT WHAT HE WANTED. BECAUSE IT WOULD DESTROY THEM. This is portrayed as romantic rather than horrific. Seriously. And then he dumps his problematic clone on her and goes back to his own universe. SO ROMANTIC. Sorry, I try not to be rude about Rose’s relationship with the Doctor. I think it’s actually an interesting dynamic that makes sense in context, but it really bugs me that so many people view it unproblematically, and it bugs me even more that people don’t imagine both Rose and the Doctor growing out of it. Like, I can’t lie: I think that’s wacked and super unhealthy, in much the same way (though to a lesser degree) as the Twilight series and its fans are, except Doctor Who is still better-written and far more interesting.

That said, I’d be willing to read a well-written fix-it fic that depicts them growing out of their unhealthy codependent dynamic while staying together romantically. TBH I’d be more interested if it were Rose and Tentoo because then it would be canon-compliant, but I’m not too picky on that point. I AM picky about it not even remotely disrespecting the relationship the Doctor had with any other companion though. And it would have to have a whole “you were so obsessed with me that you were willing to destroy an unspecified number of universes, INCLUDING THE ONE YOUR FAMILY AND BEST FRIEND WERE IN, just to see me again for a brief period of time before this universe also collapsed WITH US IN IT and honey, that’s actually CREEPY AND GROSS even though I thought it was super sweet at the time, but in my defense the universe was already ending at that point anyway and you don’t have that excuse because in your case it was PREMEDITATED” conversation because otherwise I won’t believe they’ve actually grown as people. Also it’d be nice if it were funny more than angsty (but lbr you can’t write what I’m talking about without a fair amount of angst). So, y'know, if anyone has actually written that fic lmk.

Meanwhile, there’s MARTHA.

OK so I’m on record about how awesome Martha is. This is already getting long so I won’t belabor Martha’s total awesomeness as a character, but even though I got a bit tired of dysfunctional family relationships in New Who, it was novel to see them have any ongoing family relationships at all, and Martha’s was particularly rich, partly there were so many of them for her to interact with, thus revealing lots of different facets of her character. And despite her fractious relationship with them, she remained fiercely loyal, which was an interesting source of tension between her and the Doctor, and one that diverted attention away from the dental-drill painfulness of the unrequited love subplot.

It’s super gross that the writers made her hung up on the Doctor all the way through series 3. Not because it’s ridiculous for an intelligent, perceptive, professional young woman to be hung up on an emotionally unavailable man. No, that really happens to actual human beings (and again, possibly related to serious parental issues, so it’s not even without narrative justification). Handled with any sensitivity at all, it could have made for a lovely level of complexity. What really bugs me, and I’ve also written about this before, is how the Doctor treats her like GARBAGE, and this is barely addressed as a problem that he is responsible for. In the end Martha realises her mistake in sticking around for so long, but her attempts to call out his bad behavior in the past fell on deaf ears. Martha is the rebound girl but he acts like he doesn’t even know he’s doing it. Which, IDK, maybe he really doesn’t know? Like for all his 900+ years the Doctor has little previous actual relationship experience and also he’s super blindingly hung up on his high school-esque sweetheart Rose. And it’s not just in regards to Martha’s romantic feelings that he treats her poorly. He also dismisses her VERY VALID CONCERNS about her own safety and well-being when traveling in the past for the sake of his own whims. And he brushes off legitimate questions about how stuff works. Anyway. This is well-trodden ground. As is the fact that RTD later inexplicably fobs Martha off on MICKEY, the only other black companion in the series up to that point, despite having already paired Martha off with a cute, sweet doctor who seemed like a MUCH better fit, and there literally being no narrative reason for them to be a couple in that scene.

Donna! Well, as we all know, Donna is among the best-developed companions ever.

She didn’t start out that way though. She started off as a Deeply Problematic (read: disgustingly misogynistic) Stereotype who was never meant to be more than a one-off, but CT and DT got along so well that they brought the character back full-time, and so we got a lot of deconstruction, exploration, and development of that first impression. And I’ll forever be happy we did. But even in The Runaway Bride, she had moments of surprising depth and pathos. Deep down, Donna was always better than she seemed. The fact that she was the last person (other than her mother) to realize that fact is part of what makes her so compelling.

Her relationship to the Doctor is also the least problematic, because they’re both on the same page about being platonic bffs. To be fair, part of the reason he does make sure this is clear from the outset is because he has finally realized how he hurt Martha (NOT THAT HE EVER APOLOGIZED TO MARTHA FOR THAT–for a guy for whom “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry” was basically a second catch phrase, Ten actually sucks at apologising to the people close to him). Unlike Martha, the Doctor doesn’t overlook Donna or brush off her concerns. Unlike Rose, he is not codependent with her. Donna calls him on his BS, and he listens. She helps him to face his emotional vulnerability rather than running from/shutting out potentially scary personal relationships (like with River and Jenny). The Doctor helps Donna to see that she really is brilliant and important, and she grows to believe him.

That’s not to say that Donna’s character was handled perfectly. No, indeed. Even after her first story, we’re repeatedly subjected to jokes about her desperate need for and inability to get a man. Even the Doctor, who is otherwise kind to her, takes these jokes for granted and sometimes participates in them. At the end of series 4, we’re shown that the one person in the universe that Mr. Pansexuality Personified, JACK HARKNESS has no interest in flirting with is Donna Noble, the man-hungry middle-aged slightly overweight loud temp from Chiswick. And then, of course, the Doctor denies her agency and takes away her access to the memories of everything she saw, everything she did, everything she discovered about herself while traveling with him. Just so he wouldn’t have to see her die. It was selfish of him. She made her choice and he ignored it to spare HIMSELF pain. But, y'know, at least the Doctor cheated the lottery to make her rich as a wedding present to a very attractive, kind-looking, and clearly adoring man–right before he regenerated. So she did get a happy ending.

[sept-dix]

college au! park jihoon

summary: college au! park jihoon, you have the biggest crush on him and you don’t know how to deal with it a/n: requested; tell me what you think!!

you meet jihoon during orientation week in your new university

your school splits all freshmen students into their orientation groups based off the faculty they’re from & you guys spend one whole week bonding over all sorts of games and activities and camps and seminars and all that fun stuff

you do make some new friends but each group has like 30 people so you don’t even bother trying to remember everyone’s names and faces right away

which is why you are completely unaware that there is a walking male god among you guys who goes by the name of jihoon

on the second day, after a few hours of everyone playing water games and messing around with all the props and creating an absolute mess, you are tasked with the duty of washing out and refilling one of the big buckets you guys had used

your friends offer to help you but you’re like nah i got this

but once you’re at the tap you’re like wtf? i need to use two hands to handle the bucket but i need a third hand to hold down the tap? you’re a mess

and just as you’re struggling suddenly there’s an arm extending over you to the tap to hold it down for you

and you follow the hand to see that it leads to a boy who is extremely good looking

“no worries i got you”

and he just stands there holding the tap for you and watching you hastily rinse out the bucket and refill it 

and you’re super flustered but touched because this boy is super super SUPER good looking and you have no idea how you didn’t notice him before but also he’s being super nice 

as if holding down the tap for you wasn’t enough he even offers to carry the heavy bucket back

and you’re already halfway in love by the time you’re back with your group lmao

so you spend the rest of orientation admiring him from afar because you’re too shy to go and actually talk to him but also

you’ve never seen a face as perfect as his??? his eyes are literally angelic and his nose is so high and perfectly shaped and his skin is glowing and you’re just ksjsddsf

anyways orientation week ends like that and actual uni life starts 

tbh you’d expected this but barely a month into uni and jihoon is already so popular like everyone knows park jihoon from the business school who has a face carved by the gods themselves and a personality to match

now and then when you bump into him around campus he always smiles at you in way of saying hi because he remembers you from orientation and it’s such a small thing but everytime he does it you’re a mess for a solid 10 mins afterwards

one day you’re having lunch in the garden cafeteria with your roommate doyeon when she catches you making heart eyes at jihoon who’s sitting a couple of tables away from you two

“oh my god, dude. jihoon???”

and you try to feign innocence and you’re all like “what do you mean”

because it’s kinda embarrassing to admit you have a crush on The Jihoon because like?? so does everyone else

but doyeon sees right through you and she knows exactly how to get you to admit to it

“seems like you don’t know but i know jihoon. he’s in my dance club yknow just saying”

“WHAT”

“yeah, i was going to introduce you if you were interested but since you say you’re not... oh well”

“i mean i’m not not interested! even if i’m not interested there’s no harm in making new friends and even if i’m interested- wait i’m not but-”

doyeon just smirks at the spluttering mess you are

over the next few days, doyeon keeps coming up with new ways in which you could ‘accidentally’ meet jihoon (bc you’re too embarrassed to let her just introduce you to him like that) but you reject them all 

until one day she barges into your room and slams a piece of paper onto the table in front of you

“this is it. this is the only way”

the paper has an advertisement for a creative discussion club and you’re like WHAT what does this even mean???

“idk but jihoon’s gonna be there and so are you”

so flash forward to wednesday a week later and you find yourself in this seminar room

there are about a dozen others already there and among them is jihoon

you take a seat at his opposite side of the room bc u sneaky

so basically this club is just for people to like talk about current issues or long ongoing problems like poverty or racism

it’s just a safe place to share opinions and spread awareness and stuff like that and of course jihoon is perfect enough to be interested in these kind of things

initially you start out as a pretty silent member, just watching the others talk and admiring jihoon

surprisingly so is jihoon, he mostly just listens to what the others have to say and pipes in an opinion now and then

but as time passes you find yourself naturally speaking up and getting actively engaged in the discussions

as the topics turn to issues that you genuinely feel for, or when someone expresses a thought that you just can’t agree with because it seems to come from a place of ignorance, you start forgetting your initial purpose in joining the club and start genuinely enjoying the meetings

this is also when jihoon starts to notice you

little do you know that everytime you speak up during discussions and passionately argue your stance during discussions, jihoon is watching you from the other side of the room thinking

damn that’s impressive

he also thinks you’re really cute but you don’t find that out until one day when doyeon barges into your room once again

“omgomgomgomgomg”

“doyeon? what is it?”

“y/n. i am so proud of you”

“... what did i do”

“ok so we were just taking a short break during dance today when i saw jihoon and woojin whispering to each other? and they kept kinda glancing over at me so i went and asked them what’s up and oh my god. i am so happy for you because jihoon wants your number”

“im sorry WHAT”

apparently he had seen doyeon hanging with you around school and since according to him, you never acknowledged his existence except for the occasional smile and wave, he was wondering if doyeon could help him out here

bless doyeon

so the numbers get exchanged 

and before long jihoon asks if you wanna go out for ice cream together

and one ice cream date turns into two and???

jihoon is amazing??? if you hadn’t already known you wouldn’t have guessed that this was a guy who was super popular and had like the whole school wishing they were his friend bc he’s so sweet

and funny

you guys have the same sense of humour and at least once during every date there’s a point where you guys are laughing til you’re crying

that’s not to say that sense of humour is normal though like there was this one time you two went on a double date with doyeon and a guy called seongwoo

and you guys are all super stuffed bc the food is really good like you’re filled with food and on the verge of death but after your main course ends like you can’t even move but seongwoo goes “hey what do you guys want for dessert?”

and jihoon just looks at you like you’re the camera and he’s the guy from the office and with a completely straight face says “the waffles with a double scoop of rocky road”

for some reason the situation cracks the two of you tf up and you guys are there laughing like actual seals while doyeon & seongwoo are just looking on like. omg wtf

(in case you’re curious doyeon & seongwoo never become an actual thing bc they’re too good of a combo as just friends)

one day you’re walking back to the dorms with jihoon after a creative discussion club meeting and you decide to stop by this streetside food stall to buy some chicken skewers bc yall are starving

the old lady behind the stall gives you guys one extra stick for free because “aww you two are such a cute couple i remember back when i used to roam around with my boyfriend” and she coos at you two

cue intense blushing from both of you which excites the old lady even more

but as you two are walking back after that jihoon turns to you and asks “so? what do you think?”

“yeah wow these skewers are really goo-”

“no not about that,, as in what do you think about me being your boyfriend?”

cue even more intense blushing

that’s how you two become official

tbh after that you two become one of The Campus Couples bc you two are really cute tgt 

after a while you confess to him that you actually already used to like him since all the way back in orientation and that’s why you even joined the club

and he’s like “dammit why didn’t you tell me earlier we could have been a thing since day one” lmao

(doyeon takes all the credits for making your relationship happen btw)

#park jihoon #park jihoon scenarios #wanna one #wanna one scenarios #produce 101 #produce 101 scenarios #i hope no one realises that i'm too lazy to ever give these things a title lmao

[christophersymes]

Celebrity Status

Celebrity Status, an ongoing L(G)B(T)+ story also on Wattpad and Quotev.

<-- Previous (Prologue) / Next -->

TW: Brief mention of r*pe

Chapter One

Jules, grinning mischievously, set the game discs down in a row on the hardwood in front of the TV stand. Rosa's heels clicked on the floor as he did and she moved in anticipation of what she was about to do. He set the last disc down gently after kissing it, then stood up to admire the line. His gaze turned to Rosa, who looked down at them, then back up at him.

"Yes, princess, you can go ahead," he said with a flourish and bow, tossing the cases on the floor.

The discs cracked under Rosa's heels as she jumped on them, stomped on them, ground them into the floor. She leaned down and picked up the pieces afterward, too, snapping them and tossing them on the bed. After she'd done that to every single one, she stomped all of the cases, tossing them on the bed as well.

She was fucking ruthless, and Jules loved it. He loved his sister, and that was exactly why he was doing this shit. He stomped the last one before her, his combat boot snapping the plastic case's edge, then kicked it over to her. She did the same, then set it in front of the TV, smiling sweetly.

"Hope you enjoy your gameless existence, you dick," she murmured, already unplugging the Playstation from the TV. "This is what you get for trying to rape me."

Jules felt his stomach fall at her words, but knew it was true. A week ago, he and his friend Sam had walked in on Rosa and Dickwad Josh at a party. Rosa had been trying to push Josh off her, and it took both Jules and Sam to get him away.

As usual, they'd both guaranteed they'd exact their revenge, and make it ten times worse than what they usually did because the guy had almost succeeded.

They showed up at his house when they were sure he was gone, and went inside to speak to his parents. They'd listened as Rosa described what happened, and Jules told them he'd witnessed it and that their son was a dick in the first place too, who would sometimes grope Rosa in front of everyone.

They'd all agreed he needed to learn a very, very severe lesson.

So, naturally, they showed them both up to his room and told them what they could destroy. They both took the opportunity to kill his games, and were now dismantling his Playstation and controllers.

Once they had everything gathered in their arms, they went downstairs and outside. Jules waved a controller affectionately at his parents, who grinned back at him. They'd hated how much Josh played games, anyway, and they were really nice people in a not so good neighborhood. There was a kid down the street who would kill for the console, so Jules and Rosa knocked on the door happily.

"Hi," Rosa said, grinning. "We're from the house down there, the Pinnows. Uh— Well, Josh, their son, he knew that your kid really wanted a Playstation and that you guys couldn't get one, so we come bearing a gift."

They both lifted the console and cords. "It's a little worn, but Josh wanted you guys to have it."

The dad took it thankfully, a little shocked as he laughed. "Holy shit. Thank you."

After a little bit of awkward conversation, they left again, grinning at the good deed they did in the middle of revenge. Jules shoved at Rosa. "You feeling better?"

"Fuck yes. He deserves all this shit. Dick." Rosa laughed, clapping her hands together. She rubbed them greedily. "What can we destroy now?"

"How about slashing his tires? Make him pay, sis," Jules said, passing her his pocket knife. He took her hand and set it in her palm, then kissed her forehead. "Careful, though. We don't need you slashing your hand open."

⧫

Mason Hill moved his head along to the music blasting into his eardrums as he fucked around on his laptop. He was in the mood for going incognito online, wanting to interact with fans without them knowing it was him. He had been hearing about this awesome Nosam forum for a while but hadn't made an account yet. He figured it was time for that to change. He cracked his knuckles in front of his chest and stuck out his tongue, grinning as he saw the first empty text box to fill beside the word Username.

"Easy," he murmured to himself, immediately typing masonfucker1000 into the box.

He frowned at the next prompt. Name? Huh. He drummed his fingers against his leg, glancing at Austin, sitting nearby him on the tour bus. "Dude, what was your middle name again?"

Mason knew his middle name. He just liked hearing Austin say it in his neat little accent.

And wanted to freak him out a little.

Austin gave him a curious look as he stopped playing his guitar, pushing his glasses up. "Elías? Why do you ask?"

Mason clicked his tongue at him, winking. "Nothing important. Nice name, handsome."

Austin opted not to respond, shaking his head and watching him suspiciously before going back to his guitar.

Mason typed Elías into the box. He figured a shit ton of people were 23 and it would be harmless to put that in, so he did that too. He put in a fanart edit of himself as the image— him wearing a flower crown, one of his favorites— and hit Create Account, smiling in satisfaction. He went to the welcome thread to make his first post.

masonfucker1000: hey!! im maybe older than most fans but I just wanted you all 2 know that even though im straight, i would let mason hill do anything he wanted to me

Austin kept glancing up at him, effectively distracted by Mason wanting his middle name for what was probably a horrible reason.

"Seriously, what are you doing?"

"Joining a Nosam forum, obviously," Mason scooted closer to him, moving the laptop close to his face with a flourish.

Austin stared at the screen, looking from the glittery website's title, to the header with their faces, and then to Mason's post. "Why are you always so disturbingly narcissistic to the point where I'm almost certain you'd actually fuck yourself if given the opportunity?"

Mason tilted his head, nodding as he spoke. "Because I would, Ozzie," he pecked his neck and then, mouth at his ear, repeated in a whisper. "Because I would."

Jules, alone in his bedroom after the revenge-destroying, was fucking around on the Nosam forum. As usual. He was one of the top members, had helped design the site as a school project, was friends with about half the people on the site, and loved them all. They were really his only friends, so it was easy to love them all.

He refreshed the page just in time to see a new comment in the welcome thread. No one had joined in a while, so it was interesting. It wasn't exactly the most popular website, so... Oh, their name was Elias... That was Austin's middle name. Maybe he'd finally have another Austin stan.

And of course, they loved Mason. God damn it, everyone did. He sighed but hit reply anyway. A new friend was a new friend.

familyjules: hey elias! welcome to the nosam fanbase!!! also: ew but go off i guess ;)

Mason gasped loudly, falling back against the small sofa. "Ew? Ew?"

He furrowed his eyebrows in concentration as he immediately replied.

masonfucker1000: jules! hi! thanks! also! what the hell! how can you resist the unique and godly allure that only mason joshua hill possesses?

Jules snorted, rolling his eyes. He leaned on his wall as he typed, laughing a little to himself.

familyjules: i'm too entranced by the unique and godly allure that only austin possesses, ....masonfucker1000. i just realized this point is totally moot but i'm still gonna fight it to my dying breath: austin elías salinas vicente is better than mason hill in so many ways but i respect your opinion my dear masonfucker

Mason sighed loudly and took off his snapback, throwing it at Austin, who yelped in surprise.

"What the hell?"

Mason glared at him. "That's for having a godly allure, Salinas."

Austin sputtered, confused.

masonfucker1000: you say you respect my opinion, familyjules? really? u might as well have spat in my face. austin. better than mason. my god. i will try to coexist peacefully with radical beliefs such as urs.

also: is ur profile pic u?

Jules laughed at the dramatics. He hadn't had this much fun meeting someone in a while. They were actually taking his jokes as jokes.

familyjules: thank you for your precious coexistence, fellow radical believer. and yeah dat me

Mason didn't know why the Nosam fanbase just happened to be super attractive, but he always appreciated nonetheless.

masonfucker1000: my dude, fellow believer, may i just say that ur face is v nice to look at. one might even say it radiates a certain godly allure

Jules blushed a little. People had called him attractive before, but not like that. Damn.

familyjules: thank you!! i guess ur pfp is kinda okay to look at... ;)

Mason huffed, pouting. That was just not at all fair. He couldn't even defend his own good looks.

masonfucker1000: ha. ha. so how long have u been into nosam? sorry, i meant: how long have u been brainwashed into thinking nosam was called nitsua?

Jules laughed at that one. It was good. Elias was funny.

familyjules: i actually laughed at that one! nitsua just sounds like a ninja name or something. and i've been into them since their first ep came out! found them on youtube and felllllllll. how about you?

Mason grinned. Hardcore fan. Hell, yeah. Call him a narcissist. Nosam was awesome and superbly talented, and Mason appreciated when other people knew it.

masonfucker1000: me too! nosam sorta changed my life. listen to them way more than a sane person should.

Someone else on the thread pointed out that that page was for welcoming and not conversation. Mason stuck out his tongue at his laptop screen.

masonfucker1000: whoops. heading to gen, familyjules?

Jules sighed a little at the comment, rolling his eyes. He'd made the website. It was his rule. And he'd broken it.

familyjules: whoops. yeah. i'll tag u in a thread

familyjules: @masonfucker1000 here we are. what yt video did you see first?

masonfucker1000: teenage dirtbag cover! iconic as hell. have u ever seen them live? its the most fun i've ever had.

familyjules: hell yes! i love that one! and no ): but i've got tickets to a show this tour and im hype. gonna scream my ass off

Mason's eyes widened. Oh, yes. Mason befriending a fan and that fan attending a Nosam concert? That would be beautiful.

masonfucker1000: really?? where? what day? on the off chance im going to the same 1

familyjules: Traverse City, MI. gonna glitter my face off too i'm gonna look great

masonfucker1000: oh nah not going there! glitter! nosam hype! fuck yeah, i believe u, u already look great as is. michigan, huh? the hell do u do for fun there?

familyjules: hockey, mostly. play bass too. try to run away from my family while blasting pop punk since no one gets me. freeze to death in snow

masonfucker1000: hockey?? ur tiny! i think! bass is rad, how long have you been playing? pop punk is the shit, i get u, bro

Jules smiled a bit. At least he didn't say he was a girl.

familyjules: bet i can whoop your ass even if i am tiny! and ive been playing for 5 years now. lots of nosam covers in the media thread if u wanna check it out! we gots a talented group here

masonfucker1000: i bet u can i can barely hold a stick.

a future seluj! charmed to meet u pre-fame. will def check out.

Mason headed to the media thread and clicked on one of the audio files Jules had uploaded. His eyes widened, and he turned up the volume.

Andrew, who had sat down in the far corner like the fucking loner he was, looked up at Mason as basslines filled the small space. "Hey, who's that? Not Chris, is it?"

Mason shook his head, mumbling, "Fan cover."

Andrew snorted, "Shit. That's good. You should show that to Chris when he gets back."

Mason played a few more covers, very impressed and a little doubtful.

masonfucker1000: c'mon. c'mon, jules. no way that's u.

familyjules: oh hell yeah that's me. ask anyone on here i love playing so much. covered a few starlight songs too but i'm not as good at those yet. are u into them too?

masonfucker1000: sure, sure. u stripped from chris, admit it, jules.

fuck yeah! love those badass ladiesss!

familyjules: whoa, dude, i'd never. if anything i'd strip for austin. if stella wouldn't kill me

masonfucker1000: pipe dream, jules. stella would 100% kill you. and then strip for austin herself.

Jules sighed wistfully at that image. They were both ridiculously hot, and Stella stripping was just a mental image to frame and make lifesize on the mantel above the fireplace.

familyjules: can't even join them? damn. my dreams are gone. can i share mason w/you then, masonfucker? he's the only single one of all of them... wait. does your username mean you're his hand then? shouldn't you have his hand as your pfp?

Mason's jaw dropped. "Holy fuck. I've never felt so roasted in my entire fucking life. Holy shit. Fucking— familyjules," he breathed a laugh, already typing out a response eagerly. Andrew rose an eyebrow at him, an action that Mason didn't even notice.

masonfucker1000: shit! how could u do him like that? he gets plenty of attention other than his hand! lots of it! mason hill gets around! its basic info!

familyjules: ha! uses the other hand sometimes? ;)

Mason lifted his arms behind his head. "This fucker!" he laughed again, rubbing his hands down his face. This Jules girl was ridiculous. If only she knew who she was talking to but... no, not a good idea. He stared at the screen, frowning as he realized he really wanted to keep talking to her, forgetting to respond and tapping his fingers against the laptop. He flipped Andrew off when he kept staring at him, taking the laptop and laying in his bunk instead. He could easily just not respond, like, ever. It wouldn't matter at all. Jules was just some random fan he'd stumbled onto online, who had no idea who Mason was, with whom Mason had only had half a conversation with. Hell, he usually didn't even have more than a conversation with people anyway, always having so many he wanted to talk to. But it wasn't ever like this. And it was stupid, really, how drawn he felt from just a couple hundred words on a screen, from a stranger. It wasn't even a good font.

Mason pursed his lips, sighing quietly as he stared at the forum page, at the slight curve of Jules' mouth in her profile picture. He abruptly switched tabs, checking his Twitter and replying to some fans. He Googled other fansites, ones he already had accounts on, and sifted through the threads, trying to find something else to do.

It was a bit before Elias responded again. Jules fucked around with other things on the site while he waited, scrolled through Tumblr, and then went back. He private messaged Elias, frowning a little.

familyjules: hey dude. just so you know i fuck with all the mason superfans like that. it's way too easy to roast mason

Mason was startled when he heard a ping as he had finally distracted himself from familyjules. He hesitated barely a second before switching back, smiling as he read the message.

masonfucker1000: yeah its cool! got distracted. ur wrong tho. completely wrong. masons a regular manwhore

familyjules: cool all good. just wanted to make sure you weren't actually mad! and trust me i know far too many girls on here have talked about seeing his dick

masonfucker1000: mad? over that? dont worry, bro, not at all

gh! and they all say his dick is huge. which is false. have u seen him in skinny jeans? he's got an average dick, ladies. an average dick with an above average heart

familyjules: damn dude. at least you're honest unlike them. also sometimes it looks big so i wonder who's right👀

masonfucker1000: average dick.

fuck im starving. what do i have to do to get some pizza up in hereeeee

familyjules: be mason hill?

familyjules: kidding! i'll send you some

masonfucker1000: you be careful or ill end up taking your word for it!! i swear my stomach is going to start eating itself

They ended up talking for a bit longer, but then Jules had to sleep, which made Mason pouty. It was rare for him to enjoy talking to someone this much, but Jules had a late shift the next day and classes all day, so he said goodbye and logged off, promising to be back same time the next day.

♦️

It kept like that for a week. Jules talked to Elias whenever he could, along with his other friends. He felt drawn to Elias for some reason, compelled to let the mysterious user eat up all his time.

familyjules: so. mr. masonfucker. you've only got two things on your profile and it's been a week. not even a small introduction to tell us about yourself other than you'd let mason have his way with you? i'm curious ;)

During the week, Mason had become gradually more excited every time he had the chance to be online when Jules was, which had thankfully been coinciding with after Nosam sets. He bit his lip as he read the newest message from her.

masonfucker1000: oh, youre curious? maybe i like the suspense ;) what about u, miss familyjules? im very curious about u. ur short bio is frankly not enough

Jules winced at the response. So Elias did think he was a girl. He could set him straight... but he knew nothing about this person except that he was cis and straight. He seemed cool, but Jules really didn't want to deal with a huge messy fight on the site right now.

familyjules: hey, you know i live in michigan. and what i look like. and that i play bass and play hockey. i don't even know what you do for fun, aside from stan mason. c'mon, dude

Mason groaned. God, he could just disappear right now, not talk to her ever again. But he'd be fucking bummed. Was he just lonely? I mean, tours got like that sometimes. Maybe he just needed stress relief, although that was off the table at the moment. Shit. This wasn't a... thing. Was it?

masonfucker1000: alright, alright! well, i do not live in michigan. i look like a burnt chicken nugget but i still love myself! i like singing and i've seen Real Steel abt a thousand times. how about that?

familyjules: real steel is awesome! and singing! maybe you should be in seluj with me one day. we'd take over the world, displace nosam

masonfucker1000: hell yeah! I'll let hugh jackman have at all this too 🥒🍆

displace nosam? ur blocked

masonfucker1000: kidding! totally up for it, let's go. altho it should be called saile, then

familyjules: hey, you're the one who named it seluj in the first place! maybe we're getting ahead of ourselves tho. havent even heard u sing. for all i know you could suck

masonfucker1000: thats where you're wrong, jules! that's where you're wrong! hold on

Mason paced the tour bus, considering his options. He had to show her he could sing. If he sang a song nobody had ever heard him do, maybe it would be alright?

masonfucker1000: uploaded suckonthisjules.mp3

masonfucker1000: go the distance! Hercules is my favorite disney movie. see? proof of my awesome talent and a fact abt me

Jules blinked in shock at the file, clicking play and leaning back. He listened, transfixed, picking at his lip.

familyjules: holy shit elias you sound a lot like mason. did you train your voice or what? there were a few places where you were off key but god damn. also hercules is so underrated

"Oh, fuck," Mason said as he read the response. "Wait— off key?" he glared at his laptop.

Andrew snorted. "A few minutes ago? Yeah."

Mason turned his glare towards Andrew. "I was not off key."

Andrew just laughed and shook his head, stuffing his face with chicken.

Mason frowned. It's not his fault his voice was a little strained after the show. No way he was gonna admit it, though.

He deleted the file he sent.

masonfucker1000: ah yeah, a bit.

and go to hell. off key, my ass! i told you I can sing. hercules is def underrated! yo where do u go all day?

Jules frowned when the messages shifted. He scrolled back up to find the file gone. "Oh, come on," he muttered. How paranoid could this guy be? It was a fansite. Who cared?

familyjules: def off key a bit. you deleted the file because of it, i see you, devil 👀

familyjules: oh also i'm a working college student! class by day, waiting tables by night

masonfucker1000: i did not!

oh shit, nice! well, horrible, but nice. i bet you get good tips ;) what are u studying?

familyjules: you'd be surprised how bad the tips are. studying music and psych, but the psych is a minor

masonfucker1000: jules ill go over there and tip you, you'll be set for life. so ur serious abt music huh? what do u wanna do?

familyjules: so youre rich. another thing i know now. and hell yeah i am! i want to work w/ a recording company if i can, fill in bass. more freelance than i'd like but it's something

masonfucker1000: 🤑

masonfucker1000: woah woah wait. ur settling! what would you like?

familyjules: settling? i don't call getting to play bass for a living settling

familyjules: what i really want tho is to play in a band but that's unlikely

masonfucker1000: uh huh

masonfucker1000: i knew it! c'mon, unlikely? you're as good as chris if you're not lying abt not stripping his bass 👀 maybe even better

familyjules: WHOA dude dont disrespect christo like that he's a huge role model!! i wish i could be as good as him

Mason smiled, getting up to bother Chris. "Yo, hey, dude?"

Chris looked up from his laptop, rubbing his forehead. "Huh?"

"You know that girl I've been talking to that plays bass. She says you're her role model and got offended when I said she probably plays better than you."

Chris smiled warmly. "That's sweet."

"No, but, listen," Mason showed him an audio clip of Jules covering bass for one of their songs. Chris furrowed his eyebrows as he listened, running his fingers through his hair as his jaw went slack. "Shit. What? Geez— don't even tell the guys, they'll replace me."

Mason laughed loudly, ruffling Chris's hair.

masonfucker1000: no disrespect to christo, i think you're incredibly good. u could definitely be better than him! u should try the band thing, bro, if thats what u really want

familyjules: maybe. i have some stage fright too but been working on that. what do you do all day, mr. masonfucker?

Aw, fuck. This was going to get frustrating for the both of them real quick. Mason didn't want to lie, but he couldn't tell her what he actually did all day. He could maybe explain that he was going to have to keep some (a lot of) personal information to himself? That would sound weird. Mason stared at the message, unsure what to do. He could be a bit of a dick and reply with a joke. Or something really vague. He'd only known Jules for a little over a week but he had a feeling he might not get away with that.

masonfucker1000: how've you been working on it?

masonfucker1000: and i think the more appropriate question is who don't i do all day

Oh, God, that was bad. He regretted sending that one. Mason found himself not wanting her to actually think he slept around all day. Or at all. Fucking hell.

Jules frowned at the reply. This was... interesting, he guessed. Or something like it.

familyjules: so you're a prostitute? that's how you have so much money?

Mason couldn't help but laugh at the response.

masonfucker1000: what! no no

Mason grumbled to himself, rubbing his hands down in face.

masonfucker1000: that was a stupid thing for me to say, sorry

masonfucker1000: i have a job that requires a lot of travel

familyjules: okay that makes more sense. a traveling prostitute. sounds fun! what places have u seen?

Mason rolled his eyes, smiling.

masonfucker1000: oh, aaaall oooover the world. in the US rn, tho! i could put on a show for u ;)

familyjules: maybe i'll take you up on that offer ;)

familyjules: hey im about to upload a new cover btw! it just finished uploading

masonfucker1000: oh, another masterful christo strip!

#writeblr #writers on tumblr #lgbt fiction #lgbt stories #trans fiction #celebritystatus

[abigailskoda]

Does Your Office Assistant Drool?

I'm encountering an episode of wistfulness... welcomed on by discovering this piece underneath that I'd composed very a few years back... it is one of numerous accounts I composed at that point, all of which I've kept in a record. You could possibly receive a kick in return... sugar daddy My home office is little, well alright, it's not so much an "office" - it's the extra room which my PC imparts to the pressing board and different garbage which is too valuable to even think about throwing ceaselessly. It used to be the nursery and the dividers are as yet enhanced with paintings of Beatrix Potter characters. (Jemima Puddleduck and Peter Rabbit watch over all that I do.) It is probably the littlest room in the house, aside from the restroom and clothing, and in that lies the issue.

Don't worry about it that I, who has never endured claustrophobia in my life, persevere through incessant episodes of feeling caught, or choked by heaps of pressing, or desk work accumulated on any extra level space to be discovered, a lot of furniture, and an assortment of toys my little girl demands my office needs. It's my office associates I'm stressed over. When they're "in" the workplace, they need to do a 3 point turn, or go "backward" just to get out.

By and by, I'd want to work alone, however I guess I ought to see myself as favored in that I have such a significant number of willing partners. Initially, there is Ahrran, a "drooler". He prefers nothing superior to remain behind my stool, rest his shaggy jawline (which is normally wet from an ongoing beverage) to my left side shoulder, and watch what I'm doing on the PC. Little beads of frothy white slobber run down my arm and his wet bristles stimulate my neck. I locate this a touch of diverting. Not as diverting, in any case, as when he chooses his own drool is irritating and gives his head a decent shake to expel it. I have now figured out how to "slobber verification" my significant papers by keeping them in plastic organizers. I have plastic all over the place. It makes it exceptionally hard to discover things quick, yet at any rate it keeps them dry.

Ahrran might want to figure out how to type. He is an amazingly wise wolfhound, yet I think he is being somewhat over eager. Once in a while, he will lay his paw on my left hand while I attempt to type - "take a stab at" being the employable word here. His goliath paw is very overwhelming, and as opposed to permit me to type, he essentially levels my hand to the console and asks why the "fun" stops each time. At that point he takes a gander at me questioningly, with his excellent huge, dark colored eyes, as though to state, "Well, please, mum! What are we halting for? How about we type!"

I'm getting very capable at composing with the help of fuzzy paws and textured noses in the manner. What's more, I've yet to consummate the craftsmanship, yet I'm working on composing with a huge fuzzy nose siphoning my left elbow here and there, while I attempt to coordinate the musicality with my correct elbow. (In the event that I can get two elbows moving, at that point I'll have the option to fly!)

Wookie, favor his spirit, had a "thing" for the printer link. ("Mine!" he thought, in average wolfhound little dog design.) I needed to guarantee it was constantly turned off at the force attachment in the event that something goes wrong. He additionally developed a fondness for a splendid blue ring folio document. ("Mine!") And while I figured out how to rescue the internal records, I was unable to do much with the remainder of the document so I tossed it, causing him a deep sense of appall.

Guinny, my female Irish Wolfhound and the biggest of my 3 fuzzy associates, likes to float close to my correct elbow - that is the side I keep my espresso mug. At the point when I'm not looking, she causes herself - she's inclined toward white with 2 sugars. Ahrran floats at my left elbow, and when they're both in the workplace, it is carefully standing room as it were.

A few evenings ago them two chose to visit me simultaneously. Knock goes the correct elbow: kjolauiojuqwekrn;wlkdfh;, Bump goes the left elbow: fjl;iaweuopriqje;roij;dicj and notwithstanding a couple of Martian expressions showing up in my report, my finger unintentionally hit the erase key and I lost all the work I hadn't spared! That is something else I've adapted now - spare routinely!

The Art of Filing - Wolfhound Style: Curious one night, Guinny meandered in and started sniffing a few papers over my file organizer. They were charge receipts, which I'd recently placed in date request prepared to do the quarterly duty report. "Er, Guinny..." I began to state. Past the point of no return! She drove her nose into the center of the heap, and with one powerful hurl of her superb head, sent a whirlwind of papers skimming around the room. At that point she shot the greatest grin at me, sitting tight for my response. Ordinarily, it's the last part that I need to stress over. One sway can adjust my documenting and send flying whatever's not weighted down with what might be compared to a huge stone! Only one sway the correct way observes me dashing around the workplace snatching at papers, open boxes of paper-cuts, business cards, whatever! Guinny, for reasons unknown, thinks "mummy" is incredibly interesting when she bounces, skips and hops around the workplace making entertaining commotions while she attempts to find flying articles, skimming papers, and finished assignments yet to be canvassed in plastic!

Anyway, presently I'm essentially the nonentity of my independent venture. Guinny is responsible for the recording, Ahrran is figuring out how to type, and I'm figuring out how to suspend. Everything is canvassed in plastic, and all the garbage is pushed facing the dividers to prepare for 3 point turns, switches, u-turns and the various moves which are basic while exploring the workplace. Furthermore, in case you're searching for my little girl, have a go at looking under the work area. She adapts rapidly!

[promisedangel]

The Dark Spiral

This is a paid commission for an irl friend of mine who asked me to take as many moments from his fight with depression as possible and weave it into a small tale with a special, not real so don’t worry, end. I admit this is a lot more fragmented than my usual work, but vignettes are really all I could dig up.

Enjoy

It started off with just a question from myself, “James… are you okay?” I looked at my friend across the table, his head facedown and nested in his arms. He mixed a whine and a moan, “I’m fine.” I knew better. We knew better. Behind me, I felt her materialize. My beloved creation. My genie, Clara. Only I could see her currently. She whispered in my ear, her long silver hair draped past, “It’s the same as you.” She was right. The disinterest in the Pokémon TCG league around him, of which he was an unofficial gym leader, the lack of focus... This was depression. The same kind I suffered.

 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The ongoing weeks showed many more signs. Lack of interest, appetite, and aloofness for anything other than myself or Clara. He ended up quitting his gym leader position and began to go to league less often. He at first said he didn’t have money for the bus, but then we worried after three straight weeks of not going. Thankfully, his mother saw what was happening. She signed him up for therapy. He confided in me in person, “Hey… could you not tell anyone yet that I’m going to therapy? I just…” He sighed, “I just don’t want anyone else to know yet.” I frowned, “Okay…” He smiled, “My first appointment is the 30th. Can… you be there for support?” I grimace, “I dunno if they’ll let me in… I’m not family…” “I’m sure we can think of something.” “…I’ll be there.” He gave a look of relief, “Thanks, Amy.” The day comes, and the homework I have is mountainous. I try to focus on it, try to get some of it done. After a few hours, I feel confident enough to take a break. I notice the time. I remember and panic. I begin to cry, “No…” I want to confide myself with someone, but I remember my promise. I quickly pull out my phone and text James in a panic, “I’m so sorry I was wrapped up in my homework that I totally forgot! T.T you’re probably in session right now or about to be. Gods, this is horrible of me.” I get a text back from James, “We’re here…” I continue with tears streaming down my face, “I don’t know if I could do anything there, I would be so late, gods the one time I don’t set an alarm is always the most important things!” I pause, I can feel Clara try to physically console me, but it goes right through my back. Forever a ghost on my plane of existence. She silently resigns herself to watch as I text James again while in sobs, “I’m sorry, I’m so, so sorry…” Through my sobs, I hear Clara, “You… can still go…” I sniffle and close in on myself, “But-“ Clara floats in front of me from above, her face curious, but playful, “You can be there when he gets out. That’s something. You pushed for him to go to therapy. Sure, his mom noticed, but you were the one poking him about it. You did all this to help him, right?” I sigh and wipe my tears, “Yeah.” “So, don’t beat yourself up about it so much.” She smiled. I ended up going after all.  I gave James a hug after he got out and congratulated him on this first big step. Yet, there were still so many bumps along the way.

 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He began to be more aloof at league, often not playing any games or even conversing with our friends. I texted him as I arrived at league, “U coming today?” He responded simply, “No….” “Why?” I could only imagine the sigh, “No money for the bus is the main reason. Also just meh…” Thinking he was done, I responded, “K.” He wasn’t finished, “I’m just losing interest in coming to league now. Seems like a waste of money every week. Anyway, don’t worry about me, I’m not that important anymore. Have fun at league.” I frown, “U r important.” “Doesn’t seem like it…” I feel at the loss of how to respond, so I end up not doing so. I find time to enjoy the TCG league, but he texted me later, “Well, once again, I make a mistake in life… should have came to league instead of staying home… or just stayed in my room…” I roll my eyes, “See? Isolation makes things worse.” “No… I shouldn’t have gone and played basketball… would have been safer to stay at home honestly…” I panicked, even Clara was now focused on the text, “Oh shit, what happened?!” “I got hit in the face not once… but twice.” I lightly hit my head on the table around me and groan. I whisper to Clara and myself, “Really?!” Clara sighed and pouted, “Why did your mind jump to a broken limb?” “Because that’s how my mind works.” She shrugged as I continue the text conversation, “Oh…” He explained the incident, “Once while on defense, got popped hard on the chin. Surprised I’m still standing to be honest… the other I didn’t see someone pass the ball back to me, didn’t expect it and well… yeah.” “It happens.” “If I stayed home, wouldn’t have happened. I’m back in the safety of my home though now.” “Did you get some ice on it?” “No… I don’t think it’s hurting that bad… yet… who knows…” I let it go, tempted to respond again, but knew it wasn’t worth it. But these sorts of put-downs continued from him. The sense of uselessness and loss of agency still remained. Therapy was only once a month at best. All the while, he locked himself in his home, often not going to league or even attempting to find something to do.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He found some comfort in talking to Clara. It was an interesting experience to have the genie either whisper in my ear or possess my body to talk/text directly. One day, I allowed her to occasionally control my hands from a distance as James texted his almost trademarked greeting via text, “Mew…” “Hi.” “What’s up, Clara?” My hands began to move by themselves, even as the genie was far away. Clara typed out, “The sky? But I’m also kinda high up atm. Flying is great when you don’t have to worry about planes!” “At least you’re having more fun than the sack of flesh I am.” “I’m sure you’re having fun! Amy’s being boring and surfing the web while using the tv.” “I’m going grocery shopping with my mom and uncle…” I could feel Clara’s tinges of disappointment, “Well, it’s doing something.” He texted hints he would say this in mumbles, “Still wish I was in an eternal sleep…” Clara texted back immediately, “No.” “Why?” I felt her pained tone, her voice began to echo in my mind. I was now focused on the conversation, “It’s horrible.” “Can’t be that horrible.” Clara immediately jumped into my body. She spoke with my own voice, “Sorry, Amy. He keeps asking… he has to know…” I sighed, able to speak myself, “Go ahead.” Clara nodded before she texted him, her eyes lit crimson like fire. Her inner voice rang darkly yet sensual, as though it was someone else’s voice, “What you are wishing for will not help. In fact, it would only compound your problems. Putting your soul in an eternal sleep will only cause you to live your life over and over again while you sleep. You would never escape the torment.” There was a pause, which gave Clara a chance to calm down. The fire died down, but she continued, “Anyway, if you put your soul to sleep it will merely repeat not just your current life, but you could possibly delve into worse lives.” “Okay… sorry if I offended you, Clara… seems like I put both of you through a living nightmare with all my problems.” The fire inside Clara rekindled briefly. Her tone turned cruel as she gave a condescending laugh, “Your problems are a living nightmare? Do you remember what kind of character development you helped Amy form for me?!” I push Clara out of the conversation, unconsciously texting James as well, “What is wrong with you?!” Clara huffed as her eyes slowly fade away from crimson to their normal blue. I spoke to her only, “Stay there, I’m going to examine you after this.” I turn back to the text to see he has responded, “She’s right, though. Besides, you two have been taking care of me for almost a year now. I probably owe you so much.” I sigh, “You don’t owe us anything.” Clara chimed in once more, now calmer, “Just look for happiness, that would be more than enough.” “Well… you both make me happy… and well... video games.” I start to smile again, “See? Talking to people always feels good!” “I suppose it’s working for now…” Clara quickly took the texting power into her hands and wrote, “It always does. Humans are social creatures, and yes there are introverts, but there is a difference between introversion and self-imposed isolation.” I shiver slightly, I text and speak, “You sound like a psych ward.” James texted back, “Amazed they haven’t sent me there yet.” I grimace, “Those are for panic attacks and extreme cases. Your condition is not in that league. Granted, if it continues downward, it will.” “Yeah, you’re right.”

----------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

James’s depression continued. I began to think of ways to get him out of his house all of the time. I started driving him to league and encouraged him to seek out new activities. We texted each other one night, he texted, “Tomorrow marks 2 weeks… one week from my next appointment…” I text back, “I’m sure it’ll be fine.” “Doubt it… still haven’t done the homework she wanted me to do… doubt it’ll ever get done… and I just don’t know anymore about this whole thing.” I remember my trepidation to my own therapist and decide to give some advice, “It always sucks at first, but you will progress with time. Since you have a couple appointments a month technically, give it a couple months. And if it’s not helping maybe another therapist will be able to help.” “I don’t have a couple months though to wait… by then I’ll be like… 20 feet under and my life in worse shape. Why can’t we just agree that there’s a problem with me and I’m a hopeless case?” I groan and rub my temples. We’ve had this song and dance before. I growl lightly as I text, “You’re not a hopeless case. That’s how I felt at first. And I swear to god if you are seriously contemplating suicide I will never forgive you. I will reach into whatever afterlife you go to and I will slap you so hard, you will have a bruise in your next life.” “I doubt I could do something like that. I’d just hide in a dark hole for the rest of my life... All I know is that my future is dim and my options are very slim.” “Then look for new options, seek them out. You could search for a part-time job until you figure something out.” “But this whole thing was to figure out if I could hold down a job…” “It’ll get you out of the house, and give you some money. Look. There are some positions available at my work. Can you put in one application?” “I don’t know how.” “I’d obviously help you…” “Oh.” I could hear the deep sigh, “Fine... Only because you keep bugging me about it…” He applied, and I helped him along the way. He ended up getting a job in the department next to mine. I felt good that I could keep an eye on him. He seemed to do well. It was only a little over a week after he started that he asked me to take him home. Everything was okay at first, but he suddenly bent over and began to sob. I speak, “Whoa?! What’s wrong?!” He sobs, “I’m so useless!” “Wait, what happened?!” “Why does everyone think I’m good at my job when I’m shit?” I raise a brow, “But, you’re doing well! Your boss—heck, my boss likes you!” “But I’m barely doing anything!” I begin to sound upset, “You’re new! You’ve only been here just a week. They all know the struggle and can help you!” He just continued to cry. I sigh, “Just… let it out…” At safe spots, I occasionally rubbed his back during the drive to help calm him down.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ 

Everything was getting worse. He wouldn’t listen. He wouldn’t eat. I sent Clara to console him, as some nights he would cry himself to sleep. Though he could not touch her, they could see and talk to her. He sighed, laying at the edge of his bed, “I don’t know what to do anymore…” Clara crooked her head, confused, “Don’t you have to sleep for work tomorrow?” James covered his face and curled slightly, “I don’t want to go to work.” “But, you have to, right? So you can get money, right?” “I don’t… want to suffer through this life anymore.” Clara floated above him with a pout, “But you don’t suffer.” “Yes, I do.” “Maybe just your mind…” James was silent for a moment, deep in thought. Chara gave a curious look, “What’cha thinking about?” “You… can grant wishes… right?” “Well I am a genie!” “Then... can you affect my soul?” Clara hesitated, “…Yes.” His eyes gained confidence. He sat up and spoke clearly, “I want you to transform me into a character in your world.” Clara looked upset, “Why? Why would you want to just give up your life? It’ll be harder in my world-“ He nearly yelled, “I don’t care!” Clara jumped back slightly. He calmed down and began to sob, “I just… can’t take it anymore.” Clara sighed, “What about Amy?” He groaned, “Shit, she’ll never forgive me-“ He perked up, “Wait! You could clone my soul!” Clara looked unsure, “I guess… I could split your soul in half… have one half keep the memories… then I could do it. But, you’d lose yourself…” James smiled, “Sounds perfect. Clara. I wish for you to do all that.” Clara sighed. Magic began to dance around her and James until it focused on him. He felt a sharp pain in his chest before he felt his soul dragged from his body, which fell on the bed, unconscious. In her hands, Clara split the soul in two, keeping the memories in one. She shoved that half back into James’s body. It breathed heavily but remained unconscious. Clara looked at the soul in her hand and frowned. It looked familiar. A portal opened next to her and she smiled, “I guess this is really the first time we met. See you later, Chingu.” She tossed the soul into the portal before it closed and she immediately fainted.

#commission #irl friends #genieclara #depression #self deprecation

[ponyregrets]

No One Told You Life Was Gonna Be This Way

Kabby social media AU, 3200 words, T

did u know that 1. it is @kane-and-griffin‘s birthday 2. she accidentally went viral for ranting about Friends and 3. once I start thinking about how A Thing (random example: Marcus Kane writing viral Friends tweets) would go down I cannot stop until I just write the thing

anyway happy birthday claire!!

Marcus Kane is, unfortunately, very familiar with the Nice Guy phenomenon.

It's an occupational hazard of writing science fiction, especially in the internet age; all he has to do is look for his most obnoxious fans, and he finds an unfortunately loud contingent of entitled mostly white men who believe that the world owes them women and happiness without any effort on their parts. It's something he tries to combat as much as possible, wherever he can, and he knows it works in some cases. For every reader who's turned against him for being an SJW cuck (whatever that means), he has another who's expressed appreciation for his opening them up to perspectives they hadn't considered and broadened their empathy and understanding.

That's what sci-fi should do, as far as Marcus is concerned. The heart of science fiction is acceptance and unity.

Which is why he tells Bellamy, "I need you to do one of those Twitter threads for me."

"For what?" Bellamy asks, wary. As Marcus's assistant, he seems to think his most important duty is talking Marcus out of interacting with social media. And he may be right.

"Ross Gellar."

It takes him a second. "The guy from Friends?" he finally asks.

"Yes. I want to explain to my followers why he's bad romantic lead and role model."

To his shock, the response is instant. "Okay."

"No arguments? No lecture on how that isn't what Twitter is for?"

"No, fuck Ross," he says. "What do you want to say? I'll make it happen."

Marcus clucks his tongue. "I'll write up a statement."

* Marcus Kane @kanemarcus Last week, while ill, I watched Friends on Netflix for the first time. So, a thread on friendship, romance, Joey Tribiani, and Ross Gellar.

O @o-so-cool reblogged Sometimes my brother's boss is pretty okay.

raven @queenreyesthefirst reblogged brb adding @kanemarcus to non-sucky white dude sci-fi authors and shipping him with @scalzi

Finn Collins @finnishfirst reblogged this is kind of interesting but way too hard on ross. he does a lot of good things! see thread

Bellamy @bradburybell reblogged this is not nearly hard enough on ross

Clarke Griffin @clarkegriffin reblogged Relevant to your interests @ark-abby

*

"So here's what I think happened," says Bellamy. He's brought Marcus a coffee without being prompted, so whatever it is must be bad.

Marcus takes a sip of the drink. "When?"

"With your Twitter rant."

"Ah. I assume there are a lot of protests from the louder, stupider portion of my fanbase about how I've allowed the liberal fake media destroy my mind and masculinity?"

"Yeah, there are some of those. But, uh--it went way past your fanbase."

"Excuse me?"

"This is your most retweeted post ever. Not even close. It's viral. You've got people fighting you, people telling you it's a revelation, and about a thousand new followers already. In the last day."

He frowns. "Is Friends really still that popular?"

"Apparently." He shrugs. "Clarke says you made Buzzfeed and a couple of the other aggregator sites too. She and Raven have been texting me updates. They think it's hilarious."

"What does that mean?"

"Honestly? I don't fucking know. I told you when you hired me I'm not actually good at this stuff. I tried to warn you."

"You did." He takes another sip of coffee. "So, what do you think happened?"

"My sister retweeted it, and she spends about ninety percent of her time thinking about her social media brand, so she's got a ton of followers. Then Raven picked it up from her, her tech friends got a hold of it, and after that--" He shrugs. "You got out of your niche and into broader Twitter, and I'm not going to be able to find anything useful in your notifications for weeks. It's all Ross/Joey shipping discourse. Clarke's words, not mine," he adds.

"Should I be concerned?"

"I don't know. I guess we'll find out if it actually sells more books. And Clarke thinks we should try to leverage it into more publicity, she's got an idea for that."

Marcus hasn't actually met most of Bellamy's friends, but he references them enough that he knows who they are. Octavia, sister, Raven, ex-girlfriend, Clarke, current girlfriend. He also knows that all of them are more familiar with social media than Bellamy is, so he's not surprised that he consulted them.

Mostly, though, he still can't believe anyone really cares about this.

"An idea to leverage the Friends discourse?"

Bellamy shrugs. "Apparently this fit into an ongoing conversation she's been having with her mother. Abby Griffin? She writes for Ark AV. She did that think-piece about what mainstream science fiction gets wrong about female characters."

"Ah," says Marcus. He remembers the article, which had been harsh but ultimately fair, and an interesting take, once he'd gotten over the initial hurt of being used in a not entirely positive light. "I didn't know that was Clarke's mother."

"Yeah, I figured I'd tell you later. Once I didn't think you were going to call her up and argue with her about how much better you've gotten."

"And now you don't think I will?"

"Honestly, I don't care. I just want to see you guys fight about Friends," he says. "That sounds awesome."

"So, you have no ulterior motives here. Just looking out for my best interests."

"Obviously."

"If she's Clarke's mother, I assume she's local? Or will I be fighting her on a podcast?"

"We were thinking Starbucks on Saturday. Caffeine and lots of witnesses."

Marcus finally lets himself open up Twitter, now that he's had enough coffee. He almost always has some notifications when he looks; he's a public figure with a passionate fanbase, he's used to people trying to talk to him on Twitter. That's why he has a Twitter in the first place. But the number of notifications has never been so high, not in his memory. And, as Bellamy said, it really is a lot of passionate Friends discourse, both for and against his opinions. It's an overwhelming amount of love, hate, and passion. Like discovering an entirely new world.

He thought he understood fandom, but apparently he has a long way to go.

"Starbucks would be fine," he tells Bellamy, a little faintly. "I'd enjoy that."

*

Marcus Kane @kanemarcus A lot of new followers today. Here are a few notes for you:

Marcus Kane @kanemarcus Replying to @kanemarcus I am a published science fiction author. Those of you telling me to just write a book instead of many tweets, I have written many books.

Marcus Kane @kanemarcus Replying to @kanemarcus You can find the link to purchase them in my header.

Marcus Kane @kanemarcus Replying to @kanemarcus I have never claimed to be an expert on Friends. This was my first time watching, and these are my impressions based on one viewing.

Marcus Kane @kanemarcus Replying to @kanemarcus My opinion on the Friends canon does not invalidate yours. Yours is as valid as it ever was. But if you feel threatened, examine that.

Marcus Kane @kanemarcus Replying to @kanemarcus My ideas may have merit you're reluctant to fully accept because of your own perceptions of how things should be in relationships.

Marcus Kane @kanemarcus Replying to @kanemarcus If you followed me for more Friends content, please be aware this is an outlier. I usually talk about science fiction.

Marcus Kane @kanemarcus Replying to @kanemarcus On that note, would anyone like to discuss the Hugo Awards?

Masper @gogglesdonothing Replying to @kanemarcus ross/rachel is forever tho

Marcus Kane @kanemarcus Replying to @kanemarcus and @gogglesdonothing I'll take that as a no.

Jonty @themediumgreen Replying to @kanemarcus and @gogglesdonothing I'm so sorry Mr. Kane just ignore him I want to talk about the Hugos tell me all your favorite winners do you like Chuck Tingle

Jonty @themediumgreen Replying to @gogglesdonothing I CAN'T TAKE YOU ANYWHERE

*

Marcus will admit he does not feel broadly prepared to seriously enter the Friends discourse. He is, after all, a neophyte. If there are scholarly works on Friends, he has not read them. If there's any academic discussion of these issues, he is not familiar with it. His knowledge is vague and still forming, but for some people, this show was a huge part of their development. It matters to them on a deep, personal level.

For him, it was a decent use of his time while he was sick and confined to his couch. He had a fever for most of the first season. He's not sure he's prepared to fight anyone about it. Based on his mentions, he has many, many fewer horses in this race than other people. But maybe that's a good thing. Maybe his perspective as an outsider is valuable.

Or maybe he just wants the chance to sit down with Abby Griffin. Because instead of spending the past week either working on his next book or even familiarizing himself with Friends and the criticism surrounding it, he's mostly been researching Abby Griffin herself. He'd done it some after the first article Bellamy sent, curious to see her other work, but he'd been busy with a deadline and hadn't really had much time for that, had barely scratched the surface of this woman.

He doesn't have time for it now either, of course, but it's at least relevant to something in his life. And, as Bellamy and his friends have pointed out, this is at least good publicity. It's not a complete waste of time.

The Abby Griffin stalking might be a waste, but he can't help it. She's interesting. The pop-culture writing is, apparently, a side job, something she never intended to get seriously involved in. The website had been her husband's, and when he passed away, Abby and Clarke had taken over its upkeep, and Abby had started producing content when she had time. Given her full-time job is as the director of internal medicine at the hospital, he's frankly amazed she has as much time for content as she does.

And it's good content. She and Clarke have a weekly column where they discuss a movie they went to see together, and the female characters in science fiction piece was apparently part of a series. Her taste is good and her opinions are interesting, and by the time he's meeting her, he has one big question, and one only.

They get through introductions and are settled in at the table before he finally lets it out. "Honestly, I don't understand how you can like Ross."

She lets out a surprised laugh. "Excuse me?"

"Bellamy said he was looking forward to us fighting over Friends, but I have trouble believing you disagree with my opinion of Ross. I don't know what we'd be fighting about."

She smiles into her mug. He'd known she was beautiful from the picture he found on the hospital website, but it's different to see in person, and more awkward. Bellamy and Clarke are hanging out at their own table, pretending not to eavesdrop; it's not an ideal time to be caught staring. "I don't know what he told you, but I didn't disagree. It was an impressive rant. Well reasoned and accurate. I was more interested in discussing why you posted it and the reactions you got. I saw it wasn't popular among some of your readers."

"To say the least."

"One of the things I've been curious about since getting involved in online fandom is what counts as acceptable ways to interact, especially for those of us over thirty or so. I saw a lot of people asking why a heterosexual man in his late forties would care this much about Friends at all. As if that was the problem."

"Judging from the angry responses, plenty of heterosexual men are very invested in Friends. Although I'm not sure how old they are," he grants.

"Age is the biggest issue, in my experience. You'd been participating in an acceptable way, as a creator, but once you show yourself to be invested in Friends shipping--"

"I stepped into the wrong part of fandom."

"That's my thesis, yes."

He considers. "Am I on the record?"

"I'm not a reporter, Marcus," she says, sounding amused. "I'm not trying to trick you into saying something I can use against you. But if you'd like to officially be off the record, we can say that you are."

"My hope with that post was that it would make some of my readers rethink their attitudes towards women and romance. The number of responses I got to Valena's story in Bright Sky Morning that boiled down to her being wrong for not returning Pavel's feelings even though he'd been so devoted to her was--staggering. And depressing."

"Did your female readers appreciate it?"

"They did. Apparently Jin was a much more appealing partner."

Abby smiles. "I certainly thought so."

It's not his first time meeting a fan, of course, and she might not even be a fan, in the sense they're talking about. But she's read his work and has opinions on it, and that's always a little bit flattering. Especially when they align with his. "I'm glad. I was hoping he would be." He clears his throat. "So, you'd like to talk to me as a forty-eight-year-old man who publicly had opinions on shipping."

"And to get your thoughts on Monica and Chandler," she says, all innocence. "If you don't mind."

He can't help smiling himself. "Not at all. I'm all yours."

*

Marcus Kane @kanemarcus Expanded my horizons this weekend with the High School Musical trilogy. A curious cultural phenomenon.

Marcus Kane @kanemarcus Replying to @kanemarcus I appreciated that Troy and Gabriela didn't go to the same college, but still stayed in the same general area.

Marcus Kane @kanemarcus Replying to @kanemarcus I still don't think the couple has much of a future, but in an unrealistic movie, I appreciated that nod to practicality.

Marcus Kane @kanemarcus Replying to @kanemarcus Very disappointed about the last-minute attempt to cement Ryan's heterosexuality. Let children have LGBT role models.

Murphy @firstnameredacted Replying to @kanemarcus If you're seriously going to be talking about Disney movies from now on I'm unfollowing you, I don't give a shit about this

Marcus Kane @kanemarcus Replying to @kanemarcus and @firstnameredacted Please do.

*

"Look," says Bellamy, two months after the first Friends rant, "I'm not going to pretend I'm good with crushes, but it would be a lot easier to just ask Abby if she wants to get dinner off the record instead of coming up with new weird shit to have opinions about on Twitter every week."

"I assume the timing of this isn't a coincidence," Marcus says. He was just getting his coat on to go meet her.

"You've already got a standing coffee date. Turn it into a real date. I'm begging you."

"You don't enjoy my opinions on the High School Musical series?"

"I actually do, I'm just getting tired of blocking people. Also, I don't know if you're aware, but dating is awesome. You should try it."

"I appreciate your concern. You don't think it would be weird for you if your boss was dating your girlfriend's mother?"

"No weirder than whatever's actually happening right now. And don't even try to tell me you're not asking her out because you're worried about how it would affect me."

It does sound absurd, when he puts it like that. "No. That wasn't a major factor."

Bellamy rolls his eyes. "Just ask if she wants to come check out the Descendants franchise with you next weekend. Definitely a solid pickup line. Chicks dig it."

"The what?"

"It's like the spiritual successor to High School Musical. I'll send you a link. You should know this stuff if you're really going in on this."

"I should give you a raise."

"That too. Say hi to Abby for me."

It's not entirely accurate to say that he thinks about what Bellamy said as he walks over to his weekly meeting with Abby. Every time he walks to her favorite coffee shop near the hospital, he's thinking these same kinds of thoughts, so it's not really Bellamy's fault. He enjoys Abby's company company and would be happy to see more of her. He already knew that. But it's been a long time since he navigated anything like this.

If only Friends had prepared him for this kind of romance.

"Marcus," says Abby, giving him a smile when he sits down across from her. As usual, she's surrounded by papers, and he sometimes doubts that she'd even have time for a relationship. She does keep herself busy. "I enjoyed your meditations on High School Musical."

"I'm glad to hear it. Bellamy says it gave me a net loss of followers, but not as much of one as he thinks I deserved."

"I'm not surprised." She considers him. "I didn't mean for our friendship to hurt your career."

"I don't think it is. Plenty of people just read my books and never even find out I'm on Twitter. It's not a large percentage of sales. You're blaming yourself for the High School Musical tweets?" he adds, curious. They are her fault, broadly speaking, but he wasn't sure she knew.

"If you don't keep coming up with hot takes, we don't have much to talk about."

He laughs. "I hope we'd come up with something."

"I hope so too."

The conversation lags, but it's not a bad lag. It feels like she's given him an opening, and it's his job to figure out how to take advantage of it.

The easiest way would be to simply propose a dinner date, as Bellamy suggested. But he's never been good at simple.

"You know, you never told me your favorite relationship on Friends."

"I didn't?"

"No, we usually talk about my opinions."

She levels her gaze at him, considering. "Do you know what I think when I watch Friends now?"

"No."

"They're all so young. And don't get me wrong, I met my husband when we were young, and the two of us were happy, but--sometimes it worries me how much emphasis we put on meeting people early in life. The younger you are, the more romantic it is. And that's one kind of romance, but it's not everything. It makes me want to shake all these kids and tell them that life doesn't end at thirty, or forty, or fifty. You'll keep on meeting new people, and you can still be happy."

He lets himself reach for her hand, and relief floods him when she lets him take it, even turns it over so she can squeeze his fingers. "So your favorite relationship on Friends is the one Rachel has when she's forty-five and Ross is dead?" he teases.

"I hope you're not comparing my husband to Ross."

He has to laugh. "No. I would never."

Abby's smile is warm, and it's suddenly so easy to not be nervous at all. "Good. Because the rest of that was right."

"Good," he agrees. "I was hoping you'd say that."

*

Sky Crew Reviews @kaneandgriffin New list from @kanemarcus: top 10 YA sci-fi books for adults! Up next, top 10 adult sci-fi books for teens. Age is nothing but a number.

Murphy @firstnameredacted Replying to @kaneandgriffin I will pay you to stop

Bellamy @bradburybell Replying to @kaneandgriffin and @firstnameredacted when are you actually going to unfollow like you keep saying you will? asking for a friend

Murphy @firstnameredacted Replying to @kaneandgriffin, @firstnameredacted, and @bradburybell I keep hoping I'm going to come back and he'll be normal again

SJW Cuck @kanemarcus Replying to @kaneandgriffin, @firstnameredacted, and @bradburybell Don't hold your breath.

[sugasinfireration-blog]

The Art of Love ~ Meeting

The Art of Love ~ Meeting 

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader Genre: Fluff Wordcount: 2515

Summary: Sometimes it just needs a coincidental meeting and a passion for the same thing.

A/N: I really hope you enjoy it. I am not entirely satisfied but I never am, honestly. Anyway, this is not an exact series as it isn´t an ongoing story. It kind of just includes some moments. It´s hard to explain but you will understand eventually. By the way, I am sorry if there are more mistakes than usual but today was exhausting and I think I overlooked some of my mistakes!

Jungkook looked up at the clock that was placed at the wall near the counter of the art shop he worked at. He had another 2 hours to go before he was done. It was a rather cloudy Friday afternoon as Jungkook did his last shift for this week. If he was honest this was his favorite time of the day. Less people visited as it got slightly darker outside. 

As a passionate art student he felt home between all these art supplies and  he got some time to draw something in his sketchbook that he carried with him wherever he went. In case he got inspired by something he saw. 

The sketchbook lied on the counter right in front of him as he drew a raven that always seemed to be near the shop. The pencil he held glided softly over the paper to make the outlines of the raven. Other than the tick tock of the clock the shop was silent. 

The silent only broke when someone came out of the back of the shop. It was Ji-u, his co-worker. She smiled at him as she pushed her bleached hair behind her ear.

“I will be off. Don’t forget to close the shop” she chirped as she made her way to the entrance of the shop. Jungkook returned the smile lightly as he waved her off.

“Sure, see ya next week” he said, chuckling lightly what made her blush. She nodded politely before she left the shop and was met with the cold autumn air. The second she was gone his eyes went back to his drawing. Now he was completely alone but he didn’t mind at all. He liked it when he was alone because that meant he could pay his full attention to his own art instead of telling people which paper went well with ink or which pencil was especially good for shading. Sure, he loved his job but sometimes he felt drained out having to handle all those people with different understanding of art and different tempers. He wanted this job though. Since he was a poor art student he needed a part time job in order to pay the rent. He didn’t want to end up in some café as a waiter. He wanted to do something with art. So when he saw that his favorite art supply shop searched for a part time jobber with an understanding for art he didn’t hesitate and applied right away. Now he was here. Not liking to deal with people as an introvert but at least he was surrounded with what he loved most. Art.

The sound of the little bell of the door of the shop snapped him out of his thoughts and he teared his eyes away from his almost done drawing. A girl entered and greeted him with a small “hello” and a shy smile. For a moment he just stared before he greeted back and smiled at her as well. After their small moment she shifted her gaze over to the area of the art supplies. She shuffled over there the moment she realized that she would probably find what she desired over there.

Jungkook turned his attention back to his sketchbook since she didn’t ask for his help but suddenly he couldn’t concentrate and he caught himself looking at her from time to time until he gave up and let his eyes linger on her for a moment.

Somehow she sparked his interest. She wore a black skirt with black tights and black boots due to the cold outside. A white shirt that was tucked into the skirt peaked out under her oversize denim jacket that hung over her shoulders. Her hair was slightly messed up probably from the wind or perhaps because of her hand that she ran through her hair out of habit. She seemed a bit lost there and Jungkook saw that as his chance to speak to her

This girl that caught his interest was you. 

As you entered the shop your eyes landed on the boy behind the counter who seemed to sketch peacefully. Soon he looked up and straight into your eyes. His handsome face startled you slightly so you only murmured a small “hello” with a shy smile. As he returned your greeting with a cute smile you knew you couldn’t talk to this boy. Ever. So you concentrated on your mission. Finding a sketchbook and art supplies that kind of suited you. Since you had no clue what you were really searching for you just walked through the sections. You were rather awkward around people you first met and his good looks just intimidated you more so you didn’t even try to socialize with him even if he was probably the most handsome boy you have ever seen.

You stood in front of the sketching supplies as you were a bit confused and more lost than you wanted to admit. There were so many supplies, that you didn’t even know at what to look at first. first.

“Can I help you?” You jumped as you heard his voice rather close to you. You looked to your right as you were met with a kind smile and warm brown eyes that watched you with interest. 

“Well..” you began but your words stuck in your throat as you grew nervous having him actually paying attention to you. Your eyes trailed over the different kind of pencils in front of you. He seemed to sense that you were uncomfortable as he spoke up himself.

“What do you want to achieve?” He asked out of sudden. Your eyes snapped up at his sudden question.

“I mean what do you want to draw? Or what is your style of drawing?” Little did he know you were a newbie to the world of art but he still asked you in order to help you.

“I don’t know. I-I mean… I guess, I just draw what I like or what inspires me. I am kind of a beginner right now, I only tried with pencils, though” he smiled, being content with your answer. 

“Do you like it? Honestly, it might be my favorite way to draw. I prefer charcoal sticks though but this could become a bit messy for beginners so why you don’t start off with different pencil hardness’s. This set might be the right one for you then” he reached out for a set which included pencils of the hardness’s  of 8B to H5. He handed it over to you and you took it into your hand and looked at it for a moment. A small smile formed on your face as you felt like this would do. Jungkook observed your reaction and his smile became brighter as he saw the pretty smile forming on your face.

“I use it myself. If you want to, you can look at some of my works in my sketchbook” he suddenly suggested. You looked at him surprised and he surprised himself, too. He usually didn’t like to show his work around. At least not what he drew in his personal sketchbook. As an art student he had, of course, a lot of assignments he had to hand in but these were works made for others to see. His sketchbook was very personal and full of things he saw in his everyday life. He has never showed those to a stranger.

The moment your surprised expression turned into an excided smile all his concerns disappeared.

“It’s on the counter” he said while turning around and making his way over to the small counter on the other end of the shop where he spent most of his time. You trailed behind him. You were already excided since you absolutely loved art. You thought it was one of the most impressive things someone could do. 

As you stood in front of the counter he pulled the sketchbook over. It has been open already and showed an almost done drawing of a raven. It looked stunning. It might even look better than the original since you have never seen such a beautiful bird and it wasn’t even finished!

This guy must be good.

Jungkook flicked back to the first page and showed it to you. He was a bit nervous out of sudden. Usually, he was very confident about his drawings but he really wanted to impress you and the thought that you might not like his drawing made him self-conscious. 

He watched your reaction with caution, not wanting to miss it. Your eyes grew wide and a bright smile made its way on your face as you saw the drawing of puppies playing in what seemed like a park. It looked so realistic even if it was in different shades of gray. You wanted to touch the drawing and look if it even felt realistic but you didn’t want to cross the line so you just looked at it.

“This is great. It looks so realistic. These are cute” you said totally into the drawing before you. He chuckled lightly as pride started to fill his chest. “I saw them last summer playing in the park and I had to draw them. Well, all of this drawings contain things I saw around me for the past months. Go ahead and look at the other drawings” he told you. 

You hesitated for a moment if it was really okay to look at something that personal. After all he just said this sketchbooks contains the world around him. Things he saw and had an impact on him. You looked into his eyes to make sure it was okay, only going ahead when he nodded. You flicked through the sketchbook and to say you were impressed was an understatement. These drawings were great. No matter what he drew, if it was a little girl, a rose, a couple at a café or a feather it all looked perfect. You always thought perfection wasn’t possible but this boy made you question your previous view. If he wasn’t already perfection, then his drawings were for sure.

“And?” He asked curious since he wanted to hear more of your opinion. He could tell from your impression that you loved these drawings but somehow he wanted you to say it. As an artist he learned not to search for compliments from others still he wanted to them from you. The knowledge to impress such a beautiful girl like you made his heart beat faster. 

“You are a great artist. I mean all of this- I´m speechless I don’t even have words for this. How did you learn to draw like this? You are so talented and I- just wow” he chuckled when you as the shy girl started to ramble about his art. “Well, I put a lot of effort in it to draw like I do today” he said, smiling confidently. “I don’t think I will ever be able to draw like this” you laughed slightly as you admired his drawings.

“If you want to you might even be better than me someday” he said. You looked at him slightly amused since you both new that he would probably always be better than you. You were a newbie and he a master. “ Well, at least if you find the right supplies and buy them before we close because you have only 5 minutes left” he added teasingly and you blushed as you looked at the clock above the two of you.

“Right” you mumbled as you looked down on the set of pencils you still held in your other hand.

“I will get this and….”

“and?” he asked.

“I need a sketchbook” you mumbled. You looked over to the section with sketchbooks as a black one stood out for you. Without hesitation and walked over with fast steps and grabbed it before you returned. Jungkook was already behind the counter as he waited for you to return. He looked down at the sketchbook and smirked but didn’t say anything. That the sketchbook looked exactly as Jungkook´s one was probably a mere coincidence. You blushed as you saw his smirk and the teasing glint in his eyes. 

“Well, there you go” he said as he gave you the small bag with the set and the sketchbook. You smiled shyly as you thanked him. For a moment you thought about asking for his number or if he wanted to hang out or something but you let go off the idea pretty fast as you were scared this would sound obtrusive. By the way, he probably had a girlfriend anyway. 

He was nice, good looking and talented. For sure he had girlfriend with similar traits while you were just you. An introverted girl with no specific talents. So you turned around, knowing you would probably never see him again. Jungkook watched you leave and he bit his lip. Should he just let you go? Without even knowing your name? You were cute and interested in art. Something in him told him that he would regret letting you go like this. So he decided to make a fool out of himself and ran after you. 

“Wait!” You were 5 meters away from the shop as you heard Jungkook call after you. For a moment you thought you forget something but as you walked back over to him he surprised you.

“I´m Jungkook” he blurted out without any context so that even he as a rather confident boy felt a bit embarrassed for calling you back for that.

“I know” you said as you ran a hand through your hair.

“You know?” He looked at you with big eyes.

“I mean you signed your drawings so I figured it was your name” you explained. “I see, so what is your name? Since you know mine it’s just fair if I get to know yours”

You smiled at his train of thoughts before you answered.

“My name is Y/N” you told him.

“Y/N” he repeated your name and you swore your name has never sounded so good.

“Well, since you are a beginner and I know a little bit about, you know, art I thought I could help you and give you tips.” He nervously rubbed his neck as he averted his eyes from yours, seeming almost shy.

“I would appreciate that actually” you admitted, smiling like a kid on Christmas. He chuckled and he swore he could feel butterflies in his stomach the moment you smiled at him like that.

“Great! Can I have your number? I would be free at the weekend”

“Yeah, I think I´m free , too” you exchanged numbers and he made sure to text you before he let you go just so he got your number right .

The moment you looked at your phone and saw the contact name he gave himself you giggled. 

Kookie

#BTS #jungkook #jungkookBTS #kookie #maknae #jk #jungkook scenario #kpo #kpopscenario #writing #bts scenario #fluff #jungkook fluff #bts fluff #kpop fluff #army #bts army #jeon jungkook

[nemesis-nexus]

Full Pink Moon 2019

AVE the Ancient Family; protectors, providers, guides and overseers, hear us! The Earth is beginning to awaken from the extended frost of the Season of Death, a slow process this year but one that will occur in its own time! The trees are barren yet they remain strong, much love to the Dryads who are working overtime to keep them healthy! For those who may not know a Dryad – also call the Lady of the Tree – are Wood Nymphs who watch over the trees - sometimes one, sometimes an entire grove – long story short their work is never done, not even in the Winter! It is amazing to think of how many other Beings are all around us all the time and yet seldom SEEN physically but you know they are their simply by the exquisite work they do with the flora and fauna!

As mentioned in my last sermon, the lesson of the trees is that no matter how desolate a situation might seem, if you stick it out, things will come around as they always do! The other lesson of the trees is that as tall and proud as they stand, they do not stand alone, with the Dryads to help them through, they are strong enough to withstand the weather no matter how cold it gets and to explode into blossoming beauty when the harshness of the Winter cold dissipates and gives way to the warmth of the Season of Rebirth! This lesson is to let people know that no man is truly an island, not even the lone wolves! Those who prefer solitude STILL must count on the herds to be around for hunting and the brush to be there to conceal their presence! We are all connected in the Hoop or Web of Life and without those that we rely on to be there when we need them, whether it’s another human or just the herds and the brush, we will surely perish!

This is why it is necessary for any tree that may need to be cut down, that an offering is given to the guardian and respect is shown before, during and after the cutting! Planting a sprout that will eventually grow into another tree to replace the fell one is also necessary as the guardian of the tree you took down will NOT take kindly to their home being taken from them but not replaced! This is why I have an issue with the lumber industry because a lot of the times, trees are cut down but NOT replaced which compromises the air and NOT just in the immediate area but for miles around! Another ongoing problem is the reckless disregard for the bee population. When ENKI and NINHURSAG created the Flora and Fauna, they made sure that EVERYTHING and EVERYONE was provided for and that all things would work in tandem with one another to keep the ecosystem going, however, that system is in serious breach and in turn, in serious jeopardy!

NINHURSAG tasked the bees with the extraction of pollen and the pollination of the plants and trees, but in recent days we are seeing the bee population dwindle to the point where they are facing extinction and why is this? Because people use poisons in their gardens instead of natural pesticides which the bees consume and if they make it, take it back to the hive thus poisoning other bees. People are also pulling up dandelions mistaking them for weeds that are choking their gardens or flowerbeds but the truth about dandelions is that not only are they a MAJOR food source for the bees, but that every single part of a dandelion is in fact consumable by humans! Pulling dandelions not only starves the bees but also deprives a human of a tasty salad or tea!

I don’t presume to speak for any of the Gods or Goddesses, but I can’t help but think that our Blessed Mother who gave us so much must cry tears of heartache and rage when she sees one group of her children treating another with such reckless disregard! Not just the bees, but the lives of ALL her OTHER children who suffer a result due to the serious lack of pollination because there simply aren’t enough bees left at this present time to do the job as thoroughly as they have been able to since the ancient past! We see the aftermath of this lack of pollination with massive droughts, withered crops and flowers and barely any grass or clover for Forest Dwellers to feed upon! This is unacceptable and has to change, our very existence depends on it!

NINGIZHEDA the Great Healer has also been working overtime, trying to help compensate the ecosystem and help some areas adapt to the changing climate, but he cannot do it alone! We humans need to WAKE UP and face reality that our ONE JOB was to take care of the planet, to only ever take what we need, use all we take, show the proper respect for its sacrifice for our survival and to replace it so that Life can continue to thrive! Instead we have humans taking MORE than they could ever possibly use or consume, wasting VAST amounts of it including food (when there are SO many starving who would eat even just the CRUSTS of a pizza just so they wouldn’t feel the pangs of hunger, even just for a few hours), cars (there is nothing wrong with having a couple vehicles but there are people who have an entire FLEET that NEVER get used, they just SIT there collecting dust) this is not only a waste of raw materials but creates the need for a place to house them which is usually a either a large garage or parking lot. In either case it requires the Earth to be paved over and sealed off from the sun and the air! Multiple homes that they don’t occupy very long - sometimes not at all, they have them because they had too much money and needed to spend it on something - when there are so many homeless that have a hard time getting a job due to the fact that they lack an address! These houses oftentimes fall to ruin and overgrowth of actual weeds that in turn choke out the life of any viable plant that a bee or another insect or animal might have feasted on for their own survival!

ENKI, Virile God of the Sweet Waters, I can only imagine the frustration he feels every time he looks at the lakes, rivers and oceans and sees just how well his children have taken care of the gift that he and his wife gave us! The drugs and other things that are flushed by individuals to the toxic runoff of industrial plants that intoxicates the water to the dumping of materials such as car tires, machine parts, plastics of ALL kinds that result in the strangulation and suffocation of marine life of various varieties including the anemones and coral reefs that fish feed on and utilize to hide from other predators! I saw a video of a sea turtle with a plastic straw jammed so far in its nostril that it took a TEAM of humans to remove it! There are whales that are washing ashore with stomachs FULL of plastic garbage! Richard Branson was curious what was at the bottom of one of the deepest areas of the ocean just to see what kind of marine life – if any – would be found so far down; he didn’t find any marine life at the bottom of the hole, the water pressure is simply too strong for any life form to handle (unless of course you are from the Abz-u of course!) What he DID find was – you may have guessed it – plastic garbage of all kinds at the very bottom of one of the deepest spots of the ocean!

Again, I do not presume to speak for any of the Gods or Goddesses, but also again, I can only imagine the level of disappointment and betrayal ENKI feels when he not only gave us the gift of existence but also the gift of REDEMPTION when he put his own neck and station on the line to save us from the deluge only to have the human race turn around and offer him THIS as a “thank you”! Is THIS how we show our gratitude when someone puts their own wellbeing aside to ensure our survival only to have us turn around and kick them in the teeth with our arrogance and egotism?!

This is in no way acceptable behavior from a race that likes to fancy themselves as gods! I can tell you right now NO HUMAN – myself included – is a god! How do I know? How godly are we when we don’t care what happens to the very Home that enables us to exist? How holier than thou are we when we treat ALL things - plants, trees, animals, other people - like they are only there to be used up and then discarded? How superior are we to anything when we treat EVERYTHING as though it is our right to lord ourselves over it – even Nature itself? How advanced are we when can’t seem to understand the basic needs of our Natural World to the point we act as they don’t matter but want to throw a fit when our favorite foods are no longer available because all the bees are dead so there is no honey or wildflowers or fruit trees? How great are we when we allow the blasting of Natural formations that are home to several animal species, the use of sonic detection underwater that compromises and even kill any marine life that gets in the way, the deforestation that cuts down the woods further and further back but humans want to whine about coyotes, bears, bobcats etc “invading” THEIR backyards and in some cases hunting down their animal companions as dinner NOT because they are overly aggressive but because they are simply applying their natural survival instincts but the humans demand these animals be SLAUGHTERED anyway even though if the human did not destroy these animals habitats, these animals would never have bothered them in the first place?

If we were truly godly in ANY context, we would not act as though we can “do without” any part of the ecosystem nor would we act like we are above the Natural Order! If we were truly godly we would be planting seeds, restoring the forests, cleaning up all the waters AND KEEPING THEM CLEAN NOT DUMPING COAL MINING DEBRIS IN THEM! If we were truly godly we would not be so apathetic to everything else in existence, instead we would exalt it and treat it with the same, if not MORE, regard and respect we would want for ourselves because ALL life matters! There is not one part of the Natural World we can survive without, if that were the case then neither ENKI nor NINHURSAG would have put it here! NINGIZHEDA would not be constantly trying to prevent the extinction of any more animal, insect or plant species! To quote Morgan Freeman as Principal Joe Louis Clark from the movie Lean On Me “We RISE, We FALL, We SINK, We SWIM, WE MEET OUR FATE TOGETHER!” in other words NO ONE is innocent! The ones directly causing the damage are as guilty as can be, but those who ENABLE or ALLOW it to continue will be judged just as harshly for refusing to WAKE UP to just how dire our situation REALLY is, who choose to keep their heads down and turn a blind eye because they either can’t or otherwise won’t accept the truth!

At the end of the day, when the sun sets on the human race for the last time, what will we have become? I believe that we are all Stardust, energy beings that were implanted in flesh suits so that we could live here in the literal paradise ENKI and NINHURSAG created and NINGIZHEDA maintains, when our mortal coil unravels, our flesh returns to dust and our Spirits return to the Qi until such time as it is reformed and ushered along to its next state of existence. However, how can this occur if we allow the annihilation of the planet that sustains us? The reality is the Earth does NOT need us to survive, in fact, at the rate we are going, it would be MUCH better off WITHOUT us! Our Great Mother can (and will) shrug her shoulders and cast us off of her if we don’t start treating her with all the Love and Respect that she has given us since second one! She, in fact ALL of them and I don’t mean JUST ENKI, NINHURSAG and NINGIZHEDA, have been VERY patient with us up to this point but that patience is running out and their compassion wearing VERY thin and I don’t blame them one bit!

Now is the time of the Pink Moon, so named because it’s the time of year when the wildflowers and berries start to bloom and blossom creating a beautiful symphony of color and texture and visual splendor for all to enjoy! The animals still in hibernation come back out and the forest is once again thriving with the hustle and bustle of squirrels running amok, beavers cutting fallen branches to make dams, deer return to the meadows and it’s all such a spectacular sight to behold! Who needs flashing lights and loud cacophonous electronics when you have a pollution free sky full of stars to take your breath away and the sound of a running stream take hold of your soul and reconnect you to this wondrous world we ALL call Home? I admit, I like my cell phone to keep in touch and to play the occasional game, but it will NEVER take the place of the magnificent display that only the Natural World can provide!

Now is the time for the human race to come out of its self imposed trance of materialism, distraction, apathy and disconnection and to reconnect to that which really matters and makes all the difference in THIS world and EVERY other – our Spiritual selves! We have lost the “connector cable” (our sense of self and personal responsibility) that hooks us up directly to the “Motherboard” (NINHURSAG, ENKI, NINGIZHEDA and the rest of the Ancient Family) and it shows! Our egos have gotten so out of control that some of us don’t take care of ourselves let alone each other or anything else in existence and again, it shows! How do we reconnect? The answer is simple but is certainly NOT easy; for starters we need to recognize that without every part of the ecosystem intact and NOT polluted we are simply poisoning ourselves and everything else thereby causing a slow death for everyone! We need to acknowledge that if we cut down the habitats of big cats, wolves and bears, that they ARE going to come wandering our way, not because THEY are trespassing but because WE are guilty of stealing THEIR homes! We need to stop judging other humans based on skin color, ethnicity, country/city of origin, socioeconomic status, mental illness or physical disability and learn to embrace one another as the diverse group of HUMANS that we were created to be! If we don’t do this then we are doomed to be the engineers of our own destruction and I for one have no intention of going out like that!

Like I said, the solution is simple but not easy, especially for the older generations who don’t know any other way but with the help of the younger generation CAN learn that there is in fact another way to look at things! Remember just because we may not be here 50, 75 or 100 years from now, OUR DECENDANTS WILL BE! So for those who have YOUNG children or grandchildren or great grandchildren (or even nieces, nephews or friends with kids) the attitude that WE won’t be here is assuredly UNACCEPTABLE! Unless you can look any ONE of your kids in the eye and tell them directly that THEY DON’T MATTER, then you better damn well start acting like they DO! Remember, our actions say more and speak louder than our words EVER will and what WE do NOW will have a significant impact on what THEY are able to do TOMORROW – like be alive because the ecosystem can still sustain life and because Mother hasn’t kicked our asses off of hers! This will take a concentrated effort and EVERYONE needs to do their part just like they should have been doing all along! There is really no reason why things should have ever digressed this far and gotten this severe but we are here now and the only way to go is forward! We CAN do this if we all just leave our egos at the door and work together! AVE NINHURSAG! AVE ENKI! AVE NINGIZHEDA! HAIL THE WHOLE FAMILY, EACH AND EVERY ONE ABOVE AND BELOW!

“A Call To Armistice

They say to make peace we must prepare for war,

I ask all these humans, what are we fighting for?

Are we fighting for oil? For riches? For fame?

Are we fighting to stay ahead in mans selfish game?

Do you not understand or simply choose to stay ignorant

While the Earth screams with each blow that you deliver it?

Do you care about anything at all or is everything fodder?

You are stealing the future from every son and daughter!

What’s even more perplexing that you don’t understand,

Is that all those health issues you have are by your own hand!

In pursuit of materialism you unleashed poison in the Water, the Air, the Earth,

Not comprehending that you’ve also been consuming it since birth!

But all is not lost, no this battle is far from over and done

We still have a chance, this fight can be won!

If instead we all choose to stop fighting and step back,

To see who it is that is suffering when we’re on the attack!

When we realize that it is not just us, but our bloodline and existence,

We have no choice but to rebound with full on persistence!

The will to live and thrive is possessed by one and all

All we have to do is answer the call!

The call to lower our swords and stop the onslaught,

To remember what it is that we’ve all been taught!

We are all born with memories of existences passed,

Each life we lead takes its lessons from the current and last!

If we are truly to recover our Home and reconnect to the Family,

We need to realize we are ONE even though we are MANY!

We each have a role and we each play a part,

We are all well embraced within the Dragons Heart!

But we cannot stay there if we continue to fuss,

The time will come when they’ve had enough!

So on this Full Pink Moon Night in the name of Justice,

I remind everyone we are all Family and send a Call of Armistice!”

ZI ANA KANPA! ZI KIA KANPA!

MAY THE DEAD RISE AND SMELL THE INCENSE!

Etiamsi MULTA Et Nos UNUM Sumus Nos Sto Validus Ut Nos Sto Una!

Semper Veritas, Semper Fideles, In NINHURSAG'S Nomen Nos Fides! AVE NINHURSAG!

(We Are ONE Even Though We Are MANY And We Stand STRONGEST When We Stand TOGETHER!

Always TRUTHFUL, Always FAITHFUL, In NINHURSAG'S Name We Trust! HAIL NINHURSAG!)

AVÉ THE ANCIENT FAMILY!

AVÉ IGGIGI! AVÉ ANUNNA!

AVÉ DRACONIS! HAIL THE GREAT SERPENT!

HPS Meg “Nemesis Nexus” Prentiss

[rennyji]

June 17th tweets

June 17th tweets...

you know what's cool? Gas spring wall mounted monitors...you can turn the monitor in any direction, raise it higher, lower, whatever...the gas spring is key...

so i bought Ugg Men's In House shoes...(do men call these slippers?! i dunno)...I went through several pairs from exchanges/returns. Why? The fuzz or fur inside is being pulled out/apart in all directions, right out of the box...Come on Amazon...aren't you guys about quality?!

So I saw "Superman & Louis" on the CW app, the other day. Lara (would like that name for a potentialDaughter, but moving on..), a.k.a. Superman's Kryptonian mom was revealed 2be married to 1 man, had a child, &then married Superman's dad, Jor-El-whom she later fell in love with.-

- this was said in passing on the show, as part of a different theme. But it makes you wonder...Are all women like this? Constantly out to seek "the best deal", regardless of stage of life? After having a son with 1 man, she falls in love with another and has another child...-

- what happens to marriage vows? Are these just empty words among America's pandemic of empty promises, hopes, and help? These words of through sickness and health, whatever, are meant to have power. These kind of things give life meaning and power...-

- Things aren't working out with your partner? Work things out. The option of divorce, I feel, makes people try  less harder. Your partner is literally supposed to be ur other half. You are one being. There are extreme cases of people being abused, but the rest is ego. -

- U marry me, ur stuck with me for eternity and beyond...think about it...u being my half is like my hand which is part of me...not going anywhere without my hand...duhhh...huhhh, womennnn...

moving on... From Run Girls, Run!, YouTube anime song “share the light” - kinda girly, but catchy jingle...

YouTube “Ultra instinct (trap remix)”

On a differentNote, U can learnSomething fromThe IndianConcept of arrangedMarriages, America.. Whereas U have theOpportunity of datingAround, findingPeople who share in ur hobbies/interest, make U feelExtraordinary, Indians,for centuries&beyond have been paired by theirParents.-

- If you talk to Indian couples, who probably have nothing in common, they say, they and their spouses have a "deep bond." They're bound by simply having the constant presence of another...someone to talk to, someone to care for them, and so forth...-

- This American thing about common hobbies/interests, making you feel special - these are biological feelings/impulses. You need to expand ur mind: "who will always be there for you?" Astrology and hobbies aren't what forms a "connection." It is the answer to that question...

Check out "Mud Wtr" on Google, as an alternative to caffeine…nothing to do with actual "mud" - that's just what its called...good stuff, but expensive...

If regular coffee doesn't do it for you, you can search and find coffees like "Kion Coffee", or, on the other extreme, "Death Wish Coffee." But remember, different stuff holds the potential of working for different people. Looking for options? Give one of them a try..good stuff..

I want to get to a point where I’m traveling and have a secretary. I want to get to a point where when I go downstairs, breakfast is ready...when I need something, it’s before me…don't want to worry about the little things...

Try the " CoreStretch " from Amazon...quick way to stretch your back and other muscles...

After shaving, there isn’t a single after shave out there that reduces post shaving sensitivity, preparing u 4 tomorrow’s shave. Ive found a cream in Indian Ayurveda, alleviating that “ahhh it burns/stings!!!” post shave feeling by piling on the cream when no 1 supposedly looks.

So I found out that Miranda Cosgrove, Nickelodeon's "Carly Shay" from iCarly, made $180,000 per episode from a legally/appropriately run show...for this illegal relaying of me, from lawsuits and salary-never-received, I'm going to say $180,000 per relaying is the base line...

so moving on...now...don't get me wrong, but i'm not into, getting into the following subject. but the majestic orchestrators of "the situation" frequently keep talking about a girl "I knew 'of' " and don't in fact know. I don't know why. -

- By "knew of", Im not even sure what she looks like. Sometimes I remember her tall or with meat on her bones or sometimes short or skinny..Im not even sure if all these were the same girl, when I saw her. Whoever she was, I remember liking the girl in the black North face Denali? jacket. Then amidst these versions of this girl, there was another look alike who rode the white Van type taxi called “Best Taxi.” Then there’s the short skinny version with the red stroller suitcase. I know facts about this individual from simple things like her last name.-

  - last names can be an indicator of where ur from, origin wise. But I don’t even know what she exactly looks like. From wishing her HappyBirthday on facebook, without a response back, I no her birthday is on june 24th. I know that&remember that b/c I did it once, & in high school, my memory was so good, Id memorize my notebooks.-

- ladies, something to know about me. i'll never forget a birthday or anniversary. -

- with all the talk about this girl, you get curious what she's up to, and through google, you can find out she went to columbia. a smart cookie. and in the random times i bumped into her, -

-i remember her telling her friends jen and valerie or whoever (i can remember even small details) that she wanted to transfer to columbia in her first or second year, but didn't. i happen to be walking by at that moment when she was talking and her mother or whoever -

- picked her up in a white infiniti. In a part time job on that campus as a telemarketer, on the computer system 4 calling students homes, her mothers name & address popped up on my neighbors call screen, so I even know random things like her mother's name &she's from  New Jersey. -

- this is what I mean, I don't know her. over the years of explaining things over and over, for one reason or another, it seems like i knew this person. Please stop with the talk. Now the orchestrators, with the sounds projected, want me to-

- think this girl, who never so much as responded to a Happy Birthday, is chasing after me, and has gone mad in a massive game to prevent women from talking to me, when its the orchestrators instructions. Never a moment to reset the mind on that subject. It just shows neither -

- the girl, her wackadoodle friends, and the orchestrators know a thing about me, and just want me to talk all day. Its not even fair to the girl, if she has the time to see this. What'll she think?! Find a new subject, orchestrators...

- and about people i bump into, people from the dorms in Binghamton...i remember it all...in binghamton dorms, they have everyone's names stickered onto the doors. i don't know that girls friends either. -

- ladies, something U should know about me...b4 we become girl friend/boy friend, or even friends, what U see in "this situation" may not be what U get, inPerson. Im different w/different people. Just b/c Im soft w/my brother doesn't mean Im going 2be soft w/some1 on the street.-

- those who cross me, in certain cases, I forgive, but I never forget. Guys, girls, I do not play games. I'm in my very early thirties and I don't have patience for a majority of the things that go on in this...

- going back 2 the girl, 1 last thing. i think the desperate orchestrators want 2give their meaningless cr*p of a program some kind of twist, by hooking me up w/some1 I don't even know how they look, for the sake of their program. After allThis, Im sure I have some1 who hates me-

- through no fault of my own...

It just isn't wise for me to put out anything really, because the orchestrators who have nothing to talk about, who don't know me, who think by seeing me everyday we're besties, then get stuff to harp on. -

-When I do hear them, not always, out of pity I'm telling them something verifiable, if you have a lie detector, u know none of what's said carries any relevance or significance. Its just noise, both literal and figurative.

- then the nonsense about my appearance...what are we 10? am i teenage girl? I'm an average guy, and a regular guy in real life. Everything that goes on is hype from constant chatter through an unresolved and ongoing crime...

moving on...

so moms...my mom never listens 2 a thing I say. Partly b/c she's in a rush to speak what's on her mind. As I continue talking, shell go so far as to walk around or decide to literally hammer away at something for some coincidental purpose.-

-My mom is not how I want my spouse 2be. She claims "there's no talking to me." over the simplest of things when its her stubbornness and clouded mind against my clarity. I'll be in the middle of making a point or saying something insightful, shell tell me she's not into it.-

- if i run into a woman like that, goodbye. maybe its her busy day inciting lack of patience. But then my day...i got her randomness, the randomness in my environment, the randomness from the orchestrators, the randomness at work...it's all very tiring...-

-that's how the orchestrators get material. through tiring randomness...

America is a very flawed country lacking heart, conscience, &insight. But they do have the nuclear family going on 4them. Mom, dad, son, daughter are seen equal, & what every1 says has value. Son can correct mom, mom doesn't take it to heart, & may even use it to better herself.

so had an argument w/mom over Listerine mouthWash. She takes like a tablespoon &dilutes the rest w/water in theCap. I gargle a capful of Listerine. Im content w/how Im doing it &ran into noProblems. She wants 2insist on her way of doing it. Stupid things. Is that a culturalClash?

so tweeted a ton today...the orchestrators got their tantalizing desires possibly fulfilled...moving on...