della i'm sad and i wanna talk about knight steve so i offer u,
waking up really early and steve's just next to u waiting for u to wake up, cos let's face it he's a morning person/sociopath, and he's got this little glimmer in his eyes cos he's just so in love with u <3
I’m crying I just started it and it was so good then my phone shut off and I lost it lajdjendjdn 😭😭 I’m a whore for Sir Steve and commas so please bear with me
So it’s the three of you, Sir Steve, you, and squire Dustin. You’re on your journey away to wherever it is you’re going, probably to sir Eddie to perform the marriage in his kingdom that offered him sanctuary.
It was Dustin’s turn to keep watch the night before and as usual, Steve wakes up with the first sliver of the sun. So he sends Dustin to his tent and goes back to lay with you. Just admiring you, how soft and peaceful you look now that you get to rest. You’ve been so exhausted, so high strung the last few weeks on the run, he’s noticed it in the way your brow has taken a permanent furrow, your mouth taking a permanent frown. Both only broken for a moments rest, looking out at beautiful things ahead. Sparkling lakes, vibrant sunsets, the view of a swaying flower field from the side of a mountain. But his favorite look, his absolute favorite vision in all his days, is the way you look at him. The way your eyes fill with such adoration and your face just radiates joy when you get a moment alone. Even in a crowded tavern, people jostling against you every five seconds, in thick disguises. He pulls you closer, an arm firm around your waist, and plays up the act of a dashing knight, just for you. And the smile you give him is…heaven.
But that’s not what he’s seeing now, no, this is his other favorite thing to see. You completely at peace, lost in a dream, clearly a good one if your little lazy half smirk is anything to go by. And he just looks, and adores you. Tracing your eyebrow down to your cheekbone, pulling his hand away when he notices you stirring. You subconsciously let out a whimper at the loss of contact, one he wouldn’t have picked up on if he wasn’t so close to you. He moves closer and smooths his hand over your waist then up your back. Playing with the ends of your hair and pushing you closer.
He thinks he might cry looking at you. His only idea of love forged by the marriage of his parents was nothing to emulate he was sure, and the great romances he read of were something he thought he could only ever dream of. Never imagining it’d ever be something he’d really find, especially after taking his vow.
But you’re real, and you’re leaving your whole life behind for him, you’re his and he’s yours, and you love him and he loves you.
His sniffles are what wake you up. No tears but you notice an unusual shine to his waterline, only two short sniffs, loud enough to steal you from your dreams. But you’d argue this reality is better. Waking up to the birds singing from one side, the brook splashing from the other, and the love of your life looking at you like that. He presses his hand flat against your back between your shoulder blades, pulling you in even closer, gently rolling you both over so he’s hovering over you with a leg between yours to keep from crushing you. “I love you” and he says it so…reverently. You’re confused for just a second, not used to waking up to such a declaration, but that’d never stop you from saying it back. He kisses the space between your brows in hopes they’d relax which they always do.
Your thumbs run back and forth over his cheekbones, “I love you”
He lowers himself further into your touch, wishing he could stay there forever
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reading more Whipping Girl and Serano is outlining the history of transgender care in the US. she goes into detail about the lengthy pre-screening processes where trans patients are forced to undergo psychotherapy, invasive and humiliating medical evaluations, and a 2-year “trial” period where, pre-HRT or surgery, they must consistently demonstrate their ability to pass as their own gender in society in order to be deemed a “real” trans person. she also talks about the fact that trans people had to be (or successfully perform being) heterosexual in order to access medical transition care, even long after homosexuality had been removed from the DSM.
& it brought to mind again how absurd the claim is that trans people are upholding oppressive gender norms, that we only perform gendered stereotypes, that our expressions of gender are fraudulent. a mountain of medical and psychiatric infrastructure is leveraged against trans people to punish them if they give any indication that they aren’t a white picket fence heterosexual housewife or breadwinner, forcing them to fucking dance in front of doctors just so they can convince some asshole to give them hormones, and for all that effort and humiliation we are then told that we play into gendered stereotypes
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