#it being how he was raised but also. also. he’s got some mental health issues as well here. bpd. possibly npd. an ed i already mentioned

[arowrath]

i saw a post the other day that said that gen z/gen alpha say "unalive" and "seggs" and stuff bc they're afraid of being "punished by an invisible force" and while i do think that the self-censoring sometimes unnecessary and worrying, i also don't think they're self-censoring for no reason.

i think there are a lot of situations where talking about suicide/death in general and sex outright would be punished by very real visible forces like parents and teachers and instagram community guidelines. like these kids (i say kids but i know people my age (20) do this, i feel like it's mostly younger genz and genalpha though at least in my experience) aren't just self-policing and self-censoring for no reason. some creators learned to adapt their language to unclear nebulous guidelines to try and avoid their accounts being taken down or their videos being shown to fewer people, then people started assuming any mentions of death or sex would be punished and started doing the same thing, and now younger kids have picked up on it bc they're online a lot and don't know any different.

but that's not the only part of this that matters bc while that is strange and a little dystopian. there are also offline real-life reasons kids would be scared to talk about this shit with actual words. like i was raised very christian, evangelical, not quite fundamentalist, "we don't use labels but we have stage lights for the worship songs but don't wear skirts above the knee" type of thing. my parents didn't teach me about sex until they found out i would have a sex ed class bc they had to sign a permission slip. and then they gave me a book for kids about sex that was heavily christian, abstinence-only, deeply homophobic etc. it didn't teach about birth control, about what things are not normal, any of that. and i was not raised in a way where i was even the slightest bit comfortable asking my parents or talking about it at all. my twin brother got the same book and would talk about sex or make jokes about it and our parents would get upset because it was "inappropriate" and he shouldn't be thinking about that or whatever. and if i had tried to talk about like, menstrual health or signs of abuse or even just made a joke about sex at all my parents would have been upset.

you can probably guess this from what i just said but unsurprisingly my parents weren't big on being upfront about mental health issues either. i have been depressed since before i can remember and was suicidal by the time i was eleven and i had no idea that the way i was feeling wasn't normal or that there was a word for it. i don't remember when i learned about suicide but i know my dad was at least willing to say the word in conversation when i was 12, which my mother wasn't happy about because it was "too dark" a conversation to be having (he had been telling me about a friend he had in college, specifically about how he had recovered from substance abuse issues and suicidal ideation).

and my parents were definitely not normal but there are objectively situations where parents are way worse about this type of thing. there are absolutely kids who aren't allowed to say words like suicide and death and sex. and they're not afraid of algorithms, there are real-life offline consequences if they slip up. so they self-censor, they talk quietly in the lunchroom with codewords and euphemisms with their friends. and that's not even to mention school, and how kids will get in trouble for anything an adult doesn't want them to talk about, how they can get in, again, real-life offline trouble for speaking frankly about this type of thing. because it's "inappropriate," because it's "upsetting," because their teacher is having a bad day, because god said not to, because they don't want their dm to a friend on tiktok to be flagged.

and i would much rather kids talk about these things with sometimes-insensitive code words than to not talk about them at all. if it's a choice between someone coming out as "tr4ns" to their friend and not having someone to support them at all, if it's between saying they want to "unalive" themself and never seeking help, i want them to go the sometimes-silly code word route. because i think they should be allowed to talk about these things and if they're not i think they have the right to try to do it anyway. the unnecessary self-censorship has been criticized to hell and back and i'm not saying it shouldn't be, especially when it's adults saying these things in real life situations. i'm just saying i think kids have a lot more pressure to censor themselves than people think, even offline.

#text #long post #suicide mention #Turn this post into sh.ip di.scourse i will kill u in real life and if u think 'thats insane why would someone do that' well u have no #idea the amount of things ive seen ppl turn into sh/ipcourse on here.

[petrichormore]

(This is kind of an analysis on Q!BBH (in relation to Q!Forever’s trust issues). All of the following is about the character, not the CC)

One thing about yesterday’s stream, I know people are sad that 4halo (still don’t have a duo name) had a minor fight/falling-out due to Forever’s (JUSTIFIED) paranoia. But. I want to make one thing clear as a BBH main:

Bad did NOT mean to withhold any information from Forever. To my knowledge, he has never purposefully refused an opportunity to share important information with Forever, not even when he was worried about Forever’s mental health in the aftermath of Cellbit’s betrayal (he never got the chance to withhold anything lmao).

The problem here is not that Bad is keeping secrets from Forever, he really isn’t. Forever is being trusted more than I think he’s aware of, because he doesn’t realize that everyone else other than him knows next to nothing about Bad (with the exception of Foolish). Forever was the only person that - at least in spirit - had full, unrestrained access to Bad’s secret-est secret base up until Foolish also gained permission to enter recently. And he’s still the only person that Bad has ever allowed into Dapper’s private enderpearl stasis chamber room. Now I know that Bad broke the waystone pillar and therefore Forever lost his ability to enter, but he didn’t do it on purpose!

Bad is distracted, Bad is busy, Bad is constantly being pulled in a lot of different directions by a lot of different people a lot of the time. The only reason Forever doesn’t currently have access to Bad’s home is because he just hasn’t had a solid chance to take him there; and when he does have a chance, he doesn’t remember. Because, again, he’s kind of dealing with a lot right now please leave a message he’ll get back to you later and also did I mention he’s raising a child (and several other peoples’ children sometimes) all by himself?

Same issue today: Bad knows almost everything about almost everyone. And while part of that is because he’s prone to spying - an undeniably large part of it is also because almost everyone on the server trusts him enough to constantly drag him into lore whenever he appears. If you don’t watch Bad’s streams, you maybe wouldn’t know it - but some days it’s a fairly constant stream of “Hey Bad, can you come here?”

“Bad, we need to talk”

“Bad, I need you for something.”

“Bad, can we meet somewhere private? I have an extremely lore-heavy secret that I want to tell you - but you can’t tell anyone else or I will hate you eternally and kill you and curse your bloodline and never trust you again. Thanks, say hi to Dapper for me!” <- (that might be an exaggeration but you get my point)

Like. It’s a lot to stay on top of for one man, and sometimes Bad is gonna slip. Sometimes he’s not going to remember what information he needs to tell everyone, and what information he needs to take to his grave. Sometimes he’s gonna assume Forever already knows about a semi-well-known bit of important information. And, yes, sometimes his assumptions will be wrong; but he is being as open as he possibly can be with Forever.

Not to mention, just like Forever, Bad is also famously paranoid. He also has trust issues. It’s not exactly easy for him, either. But he’s trying, he really is trying. And Forever has a right to get upset about not being told information, but that doesn’t mean he’s right about Bad withholding information on purpose.

This is to say: Bad and Forever have a lot in common in terms of what they’ve been through and I don’t think they realize how much they trust each other.

TLDR; RIP to my man Q!Forever but Q!BBH has not done a single thing wrong in his entire life.

#qsmp #q!badboyhalo #q!bbh #q!forever #4halo #i guess? #WHAT IS THEIR DUO NAME? #q!bbh character analysis

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

one of my batfam hot takes is that alfred having a very kind and understanding grandfather-like role is a boring spin on the character and lacks a lot of nuance around his backstory.

like he is a classically trained british butler which means he very likely comes from a working class family. and like, as a working class brit myself, i sometimes find the kindly, well-mannered grandfather thing grating because, a lot of white, working class men his age are unfortunately not nice people. some of them are like my great grandad was a really great guy, but hes really the only one i know who is or was not awful.

because their generation werent as exactly raised with ideals about mental health and emotional regulation. a lot of them were traumatised due to ww2 either because they saw it firsthand when they were like 15, they were old enough to remember things like rationing and the blitz, and a lot of them lost their dads in the war.

i dont expect american writers to understand how much ww2 affected britain (modern britain is still so steeped in it, its insane) and that generation specifically, BUT id love to see that explored more with alfred. like depending on where he grew up, he would likely have been separated from his family during the blitz and sent off to the countryside like most of the kids in cities were, (this is how narnia starts) and like, a lot of them were horrifically abused or used as free labour. a lot of them also lost parents and never got to say goodbye to them. many came back to destroyed homes. some kids also remained in the city or their parents requested them back so theyd experience the blitz first hand and would know the sign of air raid siren meant they might die that night.

you can see how a lot of that generation were permanently scarred. and for a few decades now, alfred would have been part of that generation.

plus he was also a secret service officer which is just like more opportunities to be traumatised and more reason for him to not be this gentle old man whos in touch with his emotions.

and like, as a classically trained butler, he would likely be more reserved because you know, thats how he was trained. also british men that age would also likely be very hands off in regards to emotions.

but the biggest reason as to why the gentle, kind grandfather take doesnt really make sense is that he raised bruce wayne.

like bruce has a whole slew of emotional issues and problems, and obviously some of that is going to come from alfred raising him because you know, thats kinda how that works. i know a lot of batfam folks want bruce to be this great dad, so i guess their take on alfred fits that, but canonically, bruce wayne is an emotional mess and not the best father figure at the best of times.

you cannot look at that bruce wayne and tell me alfred did a good job.

listen, this shouldn't even be a hot take. it's just an opinion that differs from the most popular interpretation of Alfred as an endlessly giving grandmotherly old man.

the thing about Alfred is that more than anything you have to recognize that he's an enabler. and I love the man to pieces, but at absolute best he was extremely negligent in Bruce's upbringing, if not actively encouraging the world's worst coping mechanisms.

I hate to give Gotham credit for anything, especially when it comes to Alfred since I hate their Alfred, but the show was bang on in its insistence from day one that Alfred should not have been Bruce's primary guardian. it's painful to watch how often Alfred encourages Bruce to tough it out and suck it up, and it never really stops. in one of the latter seasons (four, I think) he hits Bruce hard enough to give him a black eye during an argument, and this is ultimately written as a situation in which Bruce needs to apologize to Alfred for being a bratty teenager, rather than Alfred owing Bruce an apology for hitting him when he's a grief-stricken teenage boy cracking under stress.

and like, listen, I understand there are Watsonian and Doylist layers to this. Alfred fundamentally can't have been a good enough guardian to stop Bruce from channeling his trauma into fursuit vigilantism, because then there's no story. I get it.

but jesus christ.

I don't think characterizations of Alfred as a stoic caregiver are wrong, but I do think people don't want to think about how he got there. when I see the aged Alfred patching up Bruce's wounds and nagging him to eat, or doing his best to offer advice to the kids who have gotten mixed up in Bruce's crusade, I see a man who realized a long time ago that he dropped the fucking ball and has dedicated his life to doing as much damage control as possible. okay, so, completely failed step one (raise a well-adjusted child). can we at least make sure that this basket case adult man doesn't go completely over the edge? can we make sure he doesn't become a killer? can we encourage him to take off the mask and be Bruce Wayne sometimes? can we keep the children safe?

I do think Alfred loves all of them, for whatever its worth. his care for Bruce is real, that is his son, the Batgirls and Robins are his extended family. he'll cook their uneaten meals and clean the entire, massive house himself and stitch them up every night forever. he would die for them. hell, he'd kill for them. he loves them. but none of that means he raised Bruce right.

that's kind of the thing I like most about the Bats: they all care so, so much. but the way they love is terrible.

#alfred pennyworth

[catboymoments]

what compelled Hunter to make a grimwalker of his "uncle"?

I can’t remember if I’ve posted about my thoughts wrt Hyacinth’s creation before but it’s pretty much this:

After the. Everything. That Hunter went through over the course of the show, he had some struggles with his mental health during the recovery process.

The anxiety and ptsd was expected, but something that didn’t really get noticed at first was the fact that he had some issues with manic/depressive episodes that were kind of already there when he was the golden guard,, like he would have smaller swings that didn’t raise any red flags, but then after consistent ruminating thoughts about “I need to have control even though he’s gone/how do I know I’m better than him/I’m the only grimwalker left/who am I” he had a bit of an Episode and ran away for like. A week. And nobody knew where he went until he showed up at Willow’s doorstep with an infant grimwalker that had Philip’s features. Ofc after that they realized “hey he needs a bit more assistance than what he’s been getting” and things got better!! Also Hyacinth wound up being a good kid who would grow up loved despite everything. (Runs in circles) I’m normal about them

#toh nextgen

[itscomplicatedx]

Marvel at the beginning of the show: So this show will be about Loki learning to love himself and not being afraid of being lonely anymore.

Also Marvel: completely ignores Loki‘s trauma and tries to make him an evil narcissist** (Mobius is not qualified to make that assessment, especially since according to the TVA, Loki was supposed to do the bad things he did) at the beginning, tries to stick him with a Thor light version of himself, and has him end up alone, where once again, very few people will know or care when he did something heroic.

I liked season 2 a lot better than season 1, but that ending was whack.

If you don’t feel like reading a long rant, feel free to skip below. If you disagree with me and want to make your own long answer, write your own post. I’m mostly here to express my opinion, not get into long debates.

**Marvel doesn’t seem to understand much at all about mental health. I wish we could get whoever wrote Moon Knight to write everything about mental health in the MCU as they handled it in a decent way for a TV show. The last guy they tried to call a narcissist (Tony Stark) literally either tried to or sacrificed himself to save the universe more than once; as did Loki and his variants. Loki was set up to fail since the beginning of the timeline; and while obviously he’s far from innocent, acting like it was all his grievances were in his head and “imagined slights” or just a function of a narcissist is a pretty awful message to send about trauma. We know for a fact there’s a shit load wrong with Asgard, and an amazing slew of double standards in the MCU. It would be a great way to explain it to say it was all part of a timeline that was meant for somethings to turn out a certain way, but I’m not sure they’ll do that. But that’s my head canon anyway, based on what we saw in the What If series. There we see that when certain events aren’t set up and happen differently, heroes can go off the trail and villains can be just fine.

They conveniently showed Loki how Odin “loves him”, but not that he literally kidnapped him and lied that his birthright “was to die”, and just basically let everybody else off the hook including people who have done worse than Loki.

I understand if they didn’t want to use another actual mental health term, but instead of “narcissist” they could’ve just gone with Loki having “severe attachment issues” or something more vague like that, but then they might’ve actually had to talk about how he got them. Because I guarantee you when the majority of people hear the term narcissist they think of the worst kind who have all the worst full blown traits on the spectrum, not of the fragile kind, who do have self-esteem issues, share a lot of traits with BPD, and are said to be more rare. They most definitely don’t think of people who would sacrifice themselves.  

I personally see Loki as Borderline with some narcissistic traits (who wouldn’t have them being raised a royal in a place like Asgard). With Tony I think some of his supposedly worst traits were him trying to cover up his trauma. Sorry Natasha, but an assassin/spy who works for a shady government organization is not qualified to make a mental health assessment. Neither is Mobius.



#loki spoilers #loki #loki show critical #mcu critical #marvel critical #this is more critical than anti-but I’ll put the tag in just the same to keep the wackos out #anti loki series #anti sylki #narcissists dni if you see him differently make your own post #if you see him differently make your own post

[tralalalalally]

Some sketches of headcanons for Maedhros' body-type, tattoos, and scars.

I will give a warning for talk on poor mental and physical health before my notes:

. His body-type in particular is something he specifically works for - before Thangorodrim I think he had the more stereotypical elf-prince body (his mother-name is "well-formed", yes?) - something classically desireable. After his capture, the mix of starvation and hard physical labour made him unhealthily lean. After being rescued he was able to build up body fat again, but instead of regaining his old body he works for this new one. Something undeniably strong, untouchable, a warriors body further exaggerated. Not only does he want to distance himself from the perfection of the old him, he wants to make sure noone looking at him could see him as weak. I doubt he'd remember at least the first few months after his rescue well, but from what he does, he feels ashamed. Hiding, cowing away in fear like a child, striking out at those trying to help, revealing far too much of his trauma from the enemy. Emotion becomes a weakness to him, and he learns to control that, but then as he heals further he seeks control over his body too. I think he might eventually see himself - both body and soul - like a project similar to the construction and ruling of Himring. Especially I imagine a disconnect from his body - it is something to be built up, made strong and impenetrable, anything to not be harmed and tormented again.

. The most important scars for my headcanon (other than his missing hand of course) are the brand on his shoulder and the whip marks on his back. The brand effects him the most, and is something he covers as much as possible. None would know about it other than Findekano, Makalaure, and a few healers. Unfortunately due to it being raised, it cannot be tattooed over (nor do I think he'd be able to sit through any tattoos). I am thinking of designing some type of clothing that would essentially be part of his underwear, something that would keep it covered as often as possible - goes over the shoulder, wrapping around his body to beneath the right arm pit?

For the whip scars - when first brought to Thangorodrim he would sometimes be put to work with the other thralls. This was meant to be demoralising, the thralls seeing their prince/king reduced to this, and to show Maedhros how much had been taken from him. Of course the scars healed poorly and were often infected (I think with the brand, it may have been purposefully aggravated to make the scarring worse), though due to his positioning he got enough medical care to keep him alive. Now that he is free they still give him trouble - mobility issues from ones that cut into muscle, and the scarring itself makes the flesh stiff and less flexible. There is also a lack of feeling for most of the area.

. Tattoos - I honestly don't have any real sure designs or positioning fro them. My main thought was the vision of a tattoo of the 8 pointed star, broken up and faded due to scarring caused at Thangorodrim. You can still tell what the tattoo is of, but it has undeniably been damaged. I think I'd like to design for him a large back tattoo - star of Feanor in the middle, with other references surrounding it. Then, of course, the whip scars on top.

(Ah, and for body hair: I imagine elves can grow it, just usually not as thick. I think I remember reading that some can grow beards in old age? (As with Cirdan), so why not the same for body hair lol. I mean, humans also only get most after puberty)

#my art #silm art #silm fanart #maedhros #tolkien #feanorions #i have a feeling tumblr wont like this one haha

[misrepresentedmorallygrey]

PROPAGANDA

Yukio Okumura (LONG PROPAGANDA)

(Does contain spoilers and suicide mentions) Ok so the main issue I see people having with him is because he has threatened his brother and has shot him before. (His brother, Rin, is also the fan favorite so you can probably imagine people's feelings towards those scenes.) A lot of times Yukio also comes off as mean because he's a pretty closed off person and people don't like that either.

Although what people love to ignore is the reasons as to *why* he acts this way. (Granted, harming your brother is not an ok thing to do and it doesn't excuse that but it explains why he did what he did.) For starters, Rin was the one who inherited Satan's demonic power, not Yukio, meaning that Rin could potentially become dangerous even though his powers were locked away until he was about 15. Because of this, the boys' adoptive father, Shiro, put the responsibility of protecting Rin onto Yukio from the age of 7. So while Yukio was training to become an exorcist at a very young age, Rin got to live without knowing anything about demons or exorcists. This did cause some envy from Yukio, who felt the crushing pressure of having to do everything for his brother while Rin had no idea. Later on, Rin's power awakens at 15 (the present time in the story) and after a series of events, Shiro ends up dying due to becoming possessed by Satan. With their legal guardian dead, Yukio is now the one who has to take care of Rin because if his demonic power gets discovered, Rin will be executed by the Vatican. So yeah. In the span of ONE DAY Yukio now has even more pressure put on him and he didn't even get to say goodbye to Shiro, let alone grieve for him because he had to be the calm and collected one in the situation. (Yukio is also 15 btw!!) Now, both boys are going to enroll in True Cross Academy, a school that also has a secret exorcist program. At this time, Rin has no knowledge that Yukio knows what's going on. It's only until he's at the exorcist cram school that Rin finds out that his teacher is Yukio. This leads to a confrontation between the brothers as Rin feels rightfully betrayed that everyone knew except him. This is also where Yukio reveals some of his concerns, leading to people not liking him. Essentially, Yukio says that Rin could be a danger to others because he can't control his powers yet and that Yukio will kill him if it's necessary (this is also where he threatens his brother with a gun). Eventually the conflict does get resolved and they go back to normal for the most part. So not only does Yukio have to keep his brother from getting into trouble (which he does. several times. Rin does eventually get discovered.) but he also has to be an exorcist AND a teacher. Yukio constantly has to act like an adult throughout the series, and HE'S ONLY 15!! He has so much pressure put on him by everyone and if he makes a mistake, either him or Rin could die. As the series continues, you can see Yukio's mental health rapidly worsening due to his self-hatred leading him to several suicide attempts (which he doesn't die because Satan is now residing in his body). Yukio also feels that Shiro never really cared about him and only kept him to be raised as a weapon. All this and the fact that he's being manipulated by another antagonist character leads him to join sides with the Illuminati (the evil organization). By doing this, he will be able to take down the Illuminati from the inside and hopes that he and Satan will die along with it. The entire time up to this point Rin does not realize just how bad Yukio's mental health has been (which to be fair, Yukio is pretty closed off and has lied to his brother several times). Yukio then tries to force Rin to kill him, and ultimately fails because Rin cares too much. Overall, Yukio had so many responsibilities and felt as though he had to take everything on alone. It's honestly very tiring seeing people villainize everything bad he's ever done while completely ignoring how much he actually cares for his brother + all his mental health issues. This is only a summary of the things he's gone through so there's definitely some other details that show the escalation of his depression that weren't included here. But yeah. Justice for Yukio. He does not deserved to be treated like Satan (pun intended).

Apple White

everyone shut up about her being evil and selfish she is a teenage girl who has been raised HER WHOLE LIFE with this ideology, she can’t unlearn her entire belief system overnight especially when it’s so deeply tied to her identity as a person. also she literally does let go of it eventually, because she’s not a static character, she has an arc. apple is my favorite because she’s complex, not in spite of it. on the flipside there’s the people who act like she didn’t do anything wrong. i’ve seen people call raven the selfish one? this show was made for 5 years olds. how do you have less media comprehension that a 5 year old. and also, you’re loving apple the wrong ways!! she makes mistakes. she fucks up so much, and it’s awesome. i get overcompensating because the haters are so loud or whatever, but saying she’s perfect is erasing what makes her interesting. this propaganda is not very good because I’m guessing a lot of propaganda looks identical (edelgard and vriska have similar issues in fandom spaces) so here is my final pitch. vote for apple because she’s a lesbian (her canon soulmate was a girl). vote for apple because she’s a protagonist in a kids cartoon who was a lesbian way back in jan 2016. vote for apple because mattel let the face of their new franchise be a girl who likes girls (still feels surreal) #gayrights #applesweep

#misrepresented morally grey #round 2 #bracket d #mixed bracket #blue exorcist #yukio okumura #okumura yukio #ever after high #apple white #cw suicide #tagging this made me realize how many character's family names are Okumura #Okumura family reunion when?

[uh-velkommen]

More Thoughts On Gen V:

Mental Health:

I've been watching some reviews on the show and I think one thing that constantly gets overlooked is the conversation around Mental Health. Initially it's Emma who is the purger, her ED is linked to her powers (or so she thinks). Then we learn that its more so about her feeling small, being made to think she is unworthy or nothing. Marie is a self-harmer, whether or not you see it that way, she needs to hurt herself in order to use her powers (for now). It could go one of two ways, she hurts herself and then excuses it as "using her powers" (much like Emma) or it's just a bad habit that is subconsciously linked to her emotions (again, like Emma) and I don't think we'll get a clear answer on that until the next season within The Boys - Cinematic Universe (TBCU). But just think about how many times we see her cut to use her powers in the height of a negative emotion versus when she uses them through other means. Most important of all though: The fact that everyone in The Woods who was given Compound V, has a mental illness or disorder. We know this because Dean Shetty, who runs the thing, talks about her experience as a Phycologist and Sam quite literally has Schizophrenia. She chose to experiment with these children in particular because who would want mentally unstable kids with super powers running around? These kids, to her and the rest of the world, are disposable. They are dangerous, until controlled. Now think about Emma and Marie, aren't they dangerous? Well, no, because their illnesses are "hidden." And it's a perfect commentary on how we talk about mental illnesses today. Everyone wants to raise awareness about mental health until they're met with an illness that has potential to villainize the person who has it.

Gender Queerness:

I love Jordan Li! I think the backstory, having them be Chinese and their Dad sharing how proud he was to have given birth to a son where gender preferences with children is still such a hot topic in Chinese culture, was a brilliant move. I think about how if Jordan had never been given Compound V, they probably still would've experienced issues with their gender identity. The Compound V gave them a gift. (I like to think that Compound V only emphasizes something within the individual, like with Emma and her almond mom or the invisible dude and his perviness but I haven't seen enough evidence to prove this canon). And when Jordan and Marie got together I was so happy to see a Lesbian Protagonist double POC interracial relationship on steroids, except whenever they were together, Boy Jordan would appear and I got mad at the show for being heteronormative. But once again, TBCU came through and gave Jordan the opportunity to talk about how they feel like they have to be a boy for Marie, opening the floor for that conversation to happen between the two sometime in the future. It's a point on having to perform to make other people comfortable. The last thing was something I didn't even notice until Marie pointed out, was how Jordan always turns into a boy when they want to be heard or when they need authority. It's a beautiful note on how aware Jordan is of the privileges that come with passing as a boy. Jordan works with the patriarchy even if not fully intentional. It's the inherent entitlement that is instilled in men and the cultural influences that queer people have to actively unlearn in order to fully be themselves. (Also I feel like I made some poor word choices in the last bit. I'm not anti-men, just couldn't think of another way to say it😅)

Racism:

This part is so simple yet it didn't click in my brain until just now. Throughout the entire show we are being fed the idea that Vought could not have too many POC in the spotlight at once. There's no way a bigender Asian kid could be number one. We can only have one Black person in The Seven at a time. But we're watching this show under the guise that we will get a happy ending. The good guys are going to win this... Did you forget what show you were watching too? Homelander shows up at the end and we think the fighting will stop, until he damn near uses a slur at Marie. The NEW Guardians of Godolkin are two blonde-haired, blue-eyed, do-gooders and we realize that the finale had been foreshadowed the entire time: The minorities can never come on top.

#Gen V #The Boys #TBCU

[sirfrogsworth]

I am so confused.

Even when this lens was first released it was $850 brand new.

Does he think people aren't going to check current prices? Did he get scammed and overpay originally? Not to mention eBay gives you a suggestion for pricing.

I really wish I hadn't sold my lenses. There was a point where I had a major decline in my health and I could no longer make comedy for my main website. At the same time, my parents were getting sicker and needed more help. We were also struggling financially. I was so depressed and I was sure I'd never do photography again, so I sold most of my lenses.

We needed the money at that moment, but in the grand scheme of things, the lens money barely made a dent in our situation. Not to mention, we got a small inheritance from my grandmother soon after, so that increased my regret. It took me years of scrounging and saving to build up a collection of 5 lenses. None of them top of the line, but all of them a good value for their performance.

Thankfully I kept the lens I used to take pictures of Otis—my "puppy lens." But my ultra wide, my macro, my tele, and my portrait lens... all gone.

And now I am trying to figure out the cheapest way I can do what I want to do with photography and I'm remembering just how expensive this hobby is. But I think I need to figure this out because I have had a substantial boost in my mental health since I started taking photos again.

A good 50mm could serve several roles. I can add extension tubes for macro. It is about 75mm on an APS-C camera, which is good for portraits. The wide aperture would allow low light photography. Combined with my Otis lens, all I'd be missing is telephoto and ultra wide angle, but honestly I never did much of that anyway. Though ultra wide angle photography is probably the most fun you can have taking pictures—even if the photographic uses are rare.

I did get a Nifty Fifty for my trip to Orlando. I wanted to see if I could get away with using a $100 lens. For the price, it is surprisingly good. And it is the first lens I recommend to anyone starting photography—as almost every camera brand has its own version. But I had several issues trying to make it work for my needs.

It's not very sharp, which is actually fine for shots taken at a distance, but would be a deal breaker for product photos and macro shots which are very close up. Those require as much detail as possible, especially if you need to crop. When you are trying to show people the fine hairs on a bee's body, a soft image just isn't going to have the same impact.

It also does not nail focus consistently and it back focuses (it focuses more behind than in front). Which is a deal breaker for my efforts to use less energy. When I did my portrait shoot with Katrina, I had to do many test shots and look at them on the computer to make sure I was getting them in focus. I was going back and forth and getting up and down. In the end I had to use a smaller aperture and higher ISO to get increased depth of field. And even then the tip of her nose was soft in the photos. Not to mention the added noise from raising the ISO.

This Sigma is a wonderful lens. I'm trying to find a good deal used, but it's still out of reach for now. I have no idea what my financial future is right now and until I know for sure that my brother will release my inheritance in March, I have to be more careful with my budget.

I am going to sell all of my studio lighting gear and use those funds to help me set up a new studio upstairs. I'm hoping that will cover the new lights I will need, but I don't think it will be enough for a lens. Someone suggested a site where I can turn my yard into a dog park, so I am looking into that. I might also see if I can get some gigs restoring photos for people, but it is so difficult finding clients.

Every problem has a solution. And maybe the universe will do me a favor and keep my brother from being terrible just this once.

[fluffansmut]

Hawkins unofficial support group for unofficial fathers

Summary: Jim Hopper feels like he’s in over his head, he also feels like no one know exactly how he feels.

Across town, Wayne Munson, knows exactly how he feels, causes he’s rocking the same exact boat.

Content warnings: hurt/comfort, Childhood trauma, implied/referenced drug use, mental health issues

Word count: 1855

AO3 I masterlist

Jim were at his wits end with it all.

He had come to the conclusion that he knew just about nothing about raising kids.

It was hard to admit considering he once upon a time thought he had it down easy.

Of course things were different back then, Sarah was a lot younger and if he was being honest Diane did a huge chunk of the hard stuff…

But now Hop was alone.

He was alone in all the decisions, all the ups and all the downs, alone to take on the emotional timebomb that was a teenage girl. Especially a girl like El with not only a deeply troubled past, but on top of that, powers that neither Hop nor she herself truly understood.

This resulted not only in arguments, but in Hopper pulling his hair, trying to figure out what to do with this girl who had him wrapped around her finger.

Jim's temper was short, and sure he snapped ever so often but as soon as her expression dropped to a somewhat of a sadder look it was as a pang straight to his chest.

Jim felt guilty.

Guilty for the way he’d been acting and guilty for the girl's past

Guilty for not knowing what to do.

For help he turned to Joyce a lot, she was a great help in lots of things but Jim still hadn’t felt that she (nor anyone else in his social circle) knew what a whirlwind it was to suddenly be raising a child that you never expected to.

How your whole being got consumed by the idea of protecting the kid from everything, given their past.

Jim felt just like that as he cracked the door open 3 inches into Els bedroom to see if the girl had fallen asleep.

She looked peaceful as she slept, left side of her face smushed deep into the soft pillow beneath her head.

Hop had hoped all day for her to be just that peaceful but unfortunately something had triggered her, something that Hopper still hadn’t figured out. It however had set El of in a spiral of emotions, anxious one second, extremely angry the next.

What broke him the most was when the little girl collapsed in a corner after slamming all the windows in the cabin open with her mind as she tried to regain control over it and the anxious spiral she was in.

Hopper had approached her slowly after he realised the meltdown was evening out, she looked up at him, teary-eyed and asked;

“Am I a monster?”

It took a toll on Hopper seeing her that way, not knowing how to help, and failing trying.

He felt lonely in that feeling.

But the truth was he wasn’t lonely, because across town another man, with another kid, felt the same way.

Wayne Munson sat on his sofa with a crinkled up paper in his hand. He could smell the distinct scent of weed coming from his nephew's room.

The paper in his hand was once a letter from his brother, to Eddie.

Wayne hated that his piece-of-shit- brother still could affect his nephew from behind bars.

Wayne knew the toll these types of letters took on Eddie.

The younger one tried to not let it show but everytime they heard from Al, Eddie shut down for an unknown period of time afterwards.

He would often get high, no matter how much Wayne begged him not to.

Tonight was not an exception.

When Eddie was younger he would run away after a letter came, because he convinced himself that Wayne wouldn’t want him there.

It took some time but Wayne had done his best to pour so much love into the boy, that by now Eddie knew that he could safely break down at home, and Wayne would still want to have him around afterwards.

The older man wrung his mind in ways to help. But he knew from trial and error that barging into the boy’s room would do no good.

He’d simply had to wait him out.

This night however Wayne didn’t have to wait long.

Eddie emerged from the room, acting skittish and anxious.

His eyes were red rimmed from weed and crying and he was biting his fingernails.

But what tipped Wayne off first about Eddie's current state was what he was wearing.

Eddie had a plaid shirt on, on top of his hellfire shirt.

It was one that Wayne had given him one time when Eddie had been around 8. He had stayed with Wayne for about six months at the time and had grown incredibly attached to the man. So when Wayne had to leave for a weekend and Eddie had been left to stay at Gareth's house that shirt had been part of the compromise. It had of course been a lot bigger on him back then, but it engulfed Eddie in the scent of Wayne, and that was just what Eddie needed to calm his anxious mind.

In its chest pocket lived a tiny stuffed dog, no bigger than Eddie's palm that had been his companion since the day Wayne had met him when he was born.

Nowadays the shirt stayed tucked away in the back of Eddie's closet, it only came out for anxious nights, along with the pocket dog.

Eddie still found the repeating motion of rubbing the beaded paws between his fingers relaxing.

So there he stood now, plaid shirt clad, tiny paw between his thumb and forefinger. To Wayne the technically adult man looked just as small as the day he first came.

“Wayne” he mumbled.

“Cmere son.” Wayne said and lifted his left arm to invite the nephew over.

Eddie sat on the sofa, tucking his knees to his chest before he rested his head on the uncles shoulder.

“What’s troubling you this time, kid?” Wayne asked as he subconsciously lowered his left arm around Eddie, adding the needed pressure to make the boy feel a bit less floaty.

“What if I turn out to be a shitty person?” The younger one asked.

Wayne sighed, this wasn’t the first time he’d heard that.

“You will be no such thing” Wayne reassured.

“How can you be sure?” Eddie asked, genuine fear in his voice. “I’m a freak… and…He wrote it himself… I’m his son”

He motioned towards the letter that Wayne was crushing so hard in his hand that the knuckles turned white.

“You are my son, you hear me?” Wayne said, voice strict with affection.

Eddie nodded and subconsciously pressed his head a little more into the older man’s shoulder.

Wayne, much like Hopper felt like he didn’t know how to help… and that his attempts were only doing so much.

A few days after that day, Hop had stopped by the pub on the way home. El was having a sleepover with Max and had requested the cabin to herself for at least the duration of their rented movie and Hopper had complied.

So he stopped for a quick drink, figuring that he could walk home afterwards to give the girls some extra time.

He took a seat up front at the bar, fumbling for a cigarette in his pocket, finding the packet empty.

This was when he truly lifted his head and looked around the room. He recognised the man beside him, but couldn’t place him immediately, but when he took swing of the beer bottle it clocked inside the cop.

Munson…

“The good one” as his own mum and her gossip neighbours had called him, comparing him to his brother.

Hopper knew what had happened to “the bad one”, beyond the gossip that everyone knew, he had been there during his arrest, he had seen the social worker help the brown eyed kid pack a bag in one room as the asshole put up a fight in the next. Hopper had felt at a loss of words, watching the tragedy go down.

He couldn’t say he became surprised years later when he heard that the brown eyed kid had a bad reputation at school, and that he was up to illegal activities.

Still he had no problem with the Wayne, he was what he always had been. A good egg.

“Can I bum a smoke?” Hopper asked.

Wayne was lost in thought and didn’t realise that the man was talking to him at first.

“Uh, yeah sure” He said and dug out a cigarette packet out off the front pocket of his Jean jacket.

Out of the pocket also fell a folded up piece of paper. Jim picked it up from the floor and couldn’t help to glance at it before handing it toward the man beside him.

“Corroded coffin?” He asked, trying his best to not sound judgemental, Joyce was somewhere in the back of his mind reminding him that “if you’re open you might learn things Jim”.

“yeah, its a band, my kids in it” Wayne explain as he exchanged the paper for a cigarette.

“That’s cool” Hopper said. “Is he any good”

“He better be, cause the hooligan has been practicing that damn guitar day and night” Wayne said.

Hop smiled at the man, half appreciative of the joke, and half sympathetic for the lack of sleep he was hinting at.

“Sounds like you don’t get your eight hours a night a lot.” Hop commented, taking a swing of his own drink.

“Nah,” Wayne admitted whilst trying to downplay it at the same time. “Still I’d take the guitar any day over the flashback nights.”

It was mumbled but to Hopper it was clear as day.

The chief paused for a moment which made the man beside him stress and try to back paddle.

“Uh, I mean its not that often, or well I mean he does rehearse a lot but..”

“I get where you’re coming from Munson.” Hopper said, which made Wayne pause. “My kids got 'em too.”

“You’ve got a kid chief?” Wayne said, looking utterly confused. “But I thought.. I mean I heard..”

Wayne stopped himself before he said something insensitive.

“What you heard its true.” Hopper said, confirming Waynes thoughts. “I lost a daughter years ago.”

Wayne wanted to express his condolences but he noticed that Hopper wasn’t done talking so he decided to keep quiet.

“But I’ve got a kid.” Hopper continued. “She wasn’t supposed to be mine, but she was more or less dropped on my doorstep and now she is my kid so here I am, turning myself inside out trying to do right by her”

“Tell me about it.” Wayne said, feeling weirdly seen by Hoppers explaination. “It’s almost like you try to love on em extra, to make up for the shitty past”

“But it feels like its still not enough.” The two men mumbled at the same time.

Right then and there at the small Hawkins pub, Both Hopper and Wayne suddenly felt less alone, and they both subconsciously decided that they probably could find support in each other. Cos hey, apparently there was somebody else that knew exactly what a whirlwind it was.

#eddie munson #stranger things #wayne munson #jim hopper #eleven #el hopper #hurt/comfort

[megnificent-reads]

A Court of Wings and Ruin - Christ alive/5 ☆

Warning - this review is 1.2k words, and 98% negative. If you love SJM and the ACOTAR series, love that for you /gen. However, for your own mental health, I genuinely would not recommend you read this. For everyone else, and those who hate-read, Let's begin!

~~~

Okay, so I actually rated this 2 stars on Goodreads because I didn’t hate it the whole time but, I’m mad about it so it gets a special rating. ♡

I honestly lament when I was excited to read this book. Being what I refer to as a Lucien Lover (nuanced), I enjoyed a good bit of the beginning of this book. That’s not to say I wholeheartedly enjoyed every word of the first 100 pages of this book. 

So we start with Feyre in the throes of rage, becoming a master manipulator. Now, before I put just a minute or two of thought into it, I loved it. I love a girl tearing shit apart and using intellegence as a form of strength. However… 

Anybody think she was doing a little too much…?

Like, okay, Tamlin fucked up. Big time. I will admit justice is needed! Love when women take back power! But not only dismantling his entire country but turning everyone against him for things that he actually did not do? Crazy! He sucks! But people still live in that country. We still need order! His life is ruined now and I don’t necessarily think all that was necessary. 

Tamlin sidebar: “my father and my father’s father did the Tithe, so I’m going to do it.” Didn’t you acknowledge two books ago that your father sucks absolute ass? What fucking sense does that make? How in the first book was he the Perfect Moral Man that now can’t see the very evident immorality in the shit you’re doing. Anywhoozers. 

So, Feyre has her cool girl moments and returns to the Night Court. In book one, I was bored out of my mind until we arrived in Rhys-land. (Good one). This time, it was like the moment we arrived here the magic was lost. I was no longer excited to read. And honestly, I think the big issue was actually our beloved bat-boy, Rhysand.

I don’t know her personally, so this is not an attack on her character, but I’m starting to feel like SJM writes Rhysand based off of her fantasy version of what a man is like. Dominating, but soft and loving. Perfectly moral. Capable of evil, deplorable things, but too loving of people and their dreams to be that way. I’m going to be referring to it as PMS (Perfect Man Syndrome). 

Many of her men (sorry, males) are unfortunate PMS victims, but Rhysand is by far the worst. I wish I had underlined it when I was reading so I could cite it, but there’s just something about his actions. He is PMSing so hard that he doesn’t develop at all. He was old enough to be grown during the faerie-UK version of the Amercian Civil War where of course he was anti-slavery the entire time despite being raised by people who appeared to be violent racists. Good for our educated king. He also, of course, runs a sanctuary for abused women. 

Of course, I’m not saying that being anti-slavery and supporting abused women is bad. I love it. But like… be real with me here. I know that this is fictional. It’s not real. We can be happy here. But can I have some dimension, please? This man is the personality version of Flat Stanley. We had two conflicts between them since they got together and both were resolved by Rhys nearly getting on his knees and saying everything is his fault and he’s so sorry. The first conflict was just her thinking she stepped out of her Womenly Line and him not even knowing there was an issue. 

He’s just so. Fucking. Boring. 

Moving on. ♡.

Let’s talk about what makes me so goddamn angry about this book. I’ve seen complaints about SJM where other people are saying that other people call her books feminist literature. I personally have never heard anybody say that, but if I did, I don’t know if I would be able to control the rant that would ensue.  

I’m willing to have a civilized conversation, but I don’t remember Feyre actually doing anything. Yes, SJM puts her women in positions of power. Do they use said power? Maybe once or twice. 

Amren is an ex-god with powers above any character we’ve met so far. We see it used I think once. The rest of the time is spent talking about her power and her holding down the fort at Velaris while everyone else is off to war. 

Morrigan - also very powerful (described only). I remember her power being “truth” and never elaborating on that. She is a known soldier, that doesn’t fight. 

During the two huge battles, Feyre, Nesta, and Morrigan are on the ground while Rhys, Cassian, and Azriel are in the air fighting. After the first battle, Feyre is seen tending to her beloved mate’s wounds, Nesta is fetching water for Cassian, and Morrigan is getting mad at Nesta for wanting to fuck Cassian. So strong of all of them. 

Azriel is there doing… nothing. Which he has a habit of doing. Speaking of habits, SJM will create characters that I like because I’m excited to see how they will grow and develop. 

She then proceeds to do nothing with them.

I know more books are coming, as they will with SJM until the end of time, but it’s starting to drag. I love Elain. Well, I love what Elain could be. She’s a seemingly fragile, docile character. With her Seer powers, I was excited to see her notice the world around her sucks and develop into somone capable of holding their own. Instead, she uses her powers to relay some cryptic messages that no one heeds or even tries to, then she “snaps out of it” and can’t really do anything else. 

Azriel has a tragic backstory and seemingly a big story to tell. God, I wish I could ever fucking hear it. 

This is getting exceptionally long, but I remembered I had a list of things I wanted from ACOWAR and didn’t receive, so I’ll pick one more thing off. 

The Ouroboros. Out of all symbols, the Ouroboros is my favorite. Cycles and inevitability and all that. We spend a good chunk of this book leading up to Feyre retrieving this. It drives everyone mad. Only the strongest can look in it and survive. I was so excited to see what she saw! What the battle with herself would be like! How does she overcome it?

I guess we’ll never know.

She ended up seeing… herself? I guess she wasn’t previously aware of her flaws and then simply accepted them. Would love to have seen it!

And to finally end this review, I think the Ouroboros is a good symbol of every issue I have with this book. There’s so much build up and excitement that ultimately leads nearly no explanation. It’s like there’s ideas and concepts but then no idea how to execute them.

I won’t be reading ACOFAS or ACOSF or anything else. I already didn’t want to, then I found out about the pregnancy thing and. Yeah. I think I’m good off that.

#books #book review #acowar #acowar spoilers #acotar spoilers #anti acotar #anti acowar #anti sjm #anti rhysand #anti feyre #bookblr

[minigirl87]

It's ok, love, we're here

Marc, Steven & Jake x FReader

This is pure self-indulgence, but it is also dedicated to anyone needing some some. I hope it makes you smile. The ginger cat mentioned and in the photo is really my cat, and yes, he is called Ramesses, I love Egyptology. And being biased, my Rami is the cutest boy.

Summary:

The boys are worried about the reader after they receive a message. The know of Readers mental health issues. They return after a mission and comfort reader and make them feel loved, safe, and wanted.

Warnings:

Depressed reader, mentions of depression symptoms, crying.

Word count: 958

The boy’s had been gone for over a week now, on a mission for Khonshu. You had been your happy, quirky self when they left. You had heard from them when it was safe to contact you. The last message raised concerns for them.

As Marc reread the message again, worry wrapping his thoughts like a blanket that’s too tight. The boy’s know you struggle with mental health and their very protective of you. He got into the taxi, giving the driver his address. he popped in his earphones to talk to Steven and Jake. Without the driver suspecting anything except him having a phone conversation.

“Somethings definitely wrong, mate” Steven says, his voice raising and octave with panic. “Hermano! If someone’s done something to her, they’ll regret it” Jake seethes, but Marc can sense his worry.

“There’s no point threatening people Jake” Marc states, closing his tired, sad eyes and pinching his prominent nose. “ Plus, I think J/N would tell us if she was hurt, wouldn’t she?” Steven chips in. “we’ll soon find out!, I’ve not told Y/N I’m my way home.

Marc exits the taxi getting his bag, He takes a deep breath and heads into the entrance. Exiting the lift as he couldn’t face the stairs at this stage. He walks and stands in front of the flat door. Not hearing anything out of the ordinary, He enters not knowing what to expect.

The flat is eerily quiet, no music, pages rustling, or even the tv on. You're not on the sofa, but they know your home. “Y/N's not at work, her stuff here, Hermano ” Jake states. Marc looks to the coat rack, settling him a little.

“And Gus, Gus II, Pezoro, Cleo (you each have a goldfish) and Ramesses (the ginger cat) are ok, mate. Trust Steven to notice the animals, Marc thinks to himself, walking into the kitchen. Relief washes over him when he see’s some dishes in the sink and rubbish in the bin.

“Good at least Y/N been eating” he says to the others. He walks toward the mug, Steven got you with your name in hieroglyphics on it for your birthday. Feeling the mug, it’s still warm, and another sign you're here.

Marc turns as he hears the bathroom door click, and you padding back to bed. His heart breaks hearing you sobbing as the bed creaks as you surround yourself in the blankets.

You look so small and fragile to them.

“Y/N baby!” Marc says, putting a knee on the bed, leaning over, stroking your cheek gently. “Marc is that really you?” You say catching your breath, throat hoarse from hours of tears. Taking his jacket and kicking his trainers off, he climbs in the bed with you

“yeah baby, I’m here. Are you okay, my love?”

His words soft as he draws you to his warm, broad chest, one arm around you resting on your lower back, the other stroking your hair.

“Are you ok sweetheart” staring into his deep chocolate eyes that are full of love and concern for you. Brows furrowed, and a solitary silken curl falls between them

“ I’m fine baby, I’m more concerned about you” He says as you brush the loose curl away. “Are Steven and Jake okay?” You answer.

It never ceases to amaze the three of them how they are always your priority, no matter how you feel.

There’s a slight movement as Marc’s eyes close. And then open and your staring at Steven soft eyes, and you love how there’s little crinkles on the side of them. He hugs you tightly to him, kissing your forehead. “I’m better now I’m with you, love. Are you okay?

“And Jake” as their smell and touch relax and sooth your every muscle. And you mould into their protective frame.

There’s a slight movement as Stevens eyes now close. “Don’t worry about me. Mi Vida, let me worry about you.” He says, stroking your back. He leans down and kisses where your heart is. You look into his eyes, dark with emotion.

The boys are all different in major and minor ways even though the body is the same. But their eyes show their hearts and their souls.

And you break with their words. Hot tears stream down your already puffy checks. You grab their shirt in your fist as your body shakes against them.

You don’t notice the change this time. But Marc holds you tight, gently rocking you, and shooshing you till you calm down.

“I’m sorry love” you whisper “I don’t really know what’s wrong with me. In the last few days I’ve been overthinking about everything” you breathe out in one.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Marc asks, kissing you on the lips gently. “I didn’t want to annoy or worry you on your mission”, You quietly confess.

“ Never, baby, Don’t say that again. We love you, love you are our everything” Marc says, cupping your chin. You believe him, looking into those chocolatey orbs.

“I love you all so much. Thank you sweetheart” You shuffle towards Marc, putting your hands behind his neck. Finally nestling them in his curls grounding yourself, you peck his nose.

“There’s no need to thank us, You are the sun to our moon, Baby. We’re here for you now and ever” You pull him toward you and kiss him deeply. Tears stain your cheeks again.

“Baby” he brushes them away. You take his hand in yours and kiss his fingertips. “It’s ok, sweetheart there, happy tears”. nuzzling into his warmth again, he kisses your forehead.

You both drift off to sleep, the first proper slumber you’ve each had since they left. You feel loved and safe in a way that one else can make you feel.

*Spanish to English*

Hermano = Brother

Mi Vida = My Life

Pezoro = Pez = Fish and Oro = Gold

Cleo is the goldfish from the animated Disney film Pinocho. I'm sorry I can't have my little one fin wonder dead. Ramesses is my cat, and I love my little guy so much.😊

@melodygatesauthor @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @my-secret-shame @missscarlettangel @missdictatorme @jake-g-lockley @steven-grants-world @romanarose @campingwiththecharmings @writingforcurrentobsessions2 @welcometostayingawake @novanitee @micheleamidalajedi @annautumnsoul

#moon knight x reader #steven grant x reader #steven grant x you #jake lockley #steven grant #marc spector #marc spector x reader #marc spector x you #jake lockely x you #comfort #depresión #i need a hug

[wild-ride-to-headcanons]

So I’ve been inactive for a tad second, honestly How To Train your Dragon caught my eye and I’ve left TFP on the drying rack for a week or two. So to keep myself active and get back in the transformers mood, I’ve come up with some stuff about the kids. Their home life, some Headcanons, and just about them.

So let’s learn about the kids!!

Jack Darby is up first! Jack is the oldest of the teens, though he’s yet to hit even his young adult years. He’s a 17 year old teen. Tall and lanky, he stands around 6’7. At this point taller than his mom and even Fowler. Kids at his school often joke that he is emo, due to his tendencies to wear darker and baggier clothes. Also there’s the fact that he hasn’t cut his hair for awhile and it grew out. For the longest time he’d let his hair just fall over his face, only recently did he start pulling it back into a bun. He’s considered the quiet kid at school and around town. He doesn’t talk much, tends to stay home when he can, and rarely does he allow his emotions to show. He’s quite to a point that most kids at his school thinks he’s mute, only a few people know he’s not.

•Jack doesn’t have a dead beat dad, he just has a dead one.

•He likes drawing, he and Miko bond over it. He prefers realism, and neutral colors

• he has a thing for short more rounded women (hint at how Sierra’s gonna look ;)

•He’s interested in history and has an extreme curiosity that cannot be quenched!

•Jack has tendency’s to panic over those around him, always stressed about someone.

•unfortunately he’s also dealing with some mental issues (ones that we’ll have to learn about on the way.)

Miko Nakadi is up next! Miko is a young Japanese teen, she’s eccentric and loud. Standing at only 5 feet, and is 16 years old. Nothing seems to bother her, and she’s seems to have distaste for authority. This is due to her life in Japan. Miko grew up on a boat, raised by fishermen. They weren’t her bio family, though they still took her in. For most of her life in Japan she was raised on the water, not even going to a public school. These fishermen influenced most of who she is. They’re loud and enthusiastic, always encouraging her to be her real self. That combined with her little interaction with those her own age and others that lived in Japan, she has no fear to show herself. Unfortunately due to an accident on the sea, Miko got injured, permanently leaving some health issues. Due to this accident the local authorities deemed that she wasn’t raised in a safe environment and took her away, this left a bad taste of authority’s in her mouth. Eventually she managed to get enrolled in a exchange student program and was sent to America.

•She has no idea who her bio family is and doesn’t want to know.

•like Jack she loves drawing, though she prefers a more fantasy setting with bunches of colors.

•she has yet to know her type, though seems to be very open when it comes to sexuality.

•she struggles when it comes to understanding danger, as she’s been introduced to a considerably large amount of it since she was young. She also struggles understanding people and their emotions, due to not being around many.

•other than her health issue, Miko was diagnosed with Autism at a young age, and she believes that she has some ADHD.

•She loves music, especially rock and metal. If it’s loud, it’s fun. (She’s mostly deaf, having to wear hearing aids) she loves to play instruments, and has an easy time picking up on how to learn them.

Rafael Esquivel is our final one of the main trio. At 12 years old he’s only 4 1/2 feet. He’s a child prodigy, practically skipping middle school and most of elementary school. Soon it’s believed he’ll be able to go to college. He’s from a Hispanic family, a large one, having 10 siblings. Raf is from a family of geniuses, his parent both being engineers, and his sibling all aiming for high grades and phd’s. Since he was young, Raf loved to absorb knowledge. He read as many books as he could, took a lot of notes, always asked his siblings to teach him all they know. So his older sister taught him coding, while her twin taught him how to hack. One of his older brothers showed him how to start in the engineering field, often giving him little projects to build and learn from. His other siblings will teach him about biology and chemistry, despite him not being as interested in those fields. Then theirs his eldest brother, he makes sure everyone is taken care of in their parents place, always making sure that a break is taken. He also make sure that Raf keeps an open mind.

•His parents are rarely home, always on the job and making sure their family has enough to live a comfortable life. Their eldest son became the primary caretaker of the house, after Raf’s Abuela passed.

•He doesn’t show much interest in doing art like the other two, but he does enjoy the beauty of it. Especially since one of his aunt’s constantly shows him the beauty of the world.

•He’s too young and too into his education to even think about sexuality and romance. Even though one of his brothers is into psychology and sociology and is especially all about romance.

•Since he’s been so focused on learning and not socializing, his only friends are his siblings, he moved too quick through school too actually get to know kids his age. Sure the older kids treat him well in school, but they’ve never been friendly.

•His family believes that he has autism (I know a stereotype) but they’ve never diagnosed him or put him on any medications.

•other than his love for engineering, computers, and science, Raf has shown to be interested in a few other things. He loves reptiles and other little critters. He especially loves gaming and racing in games or with toy cars. He’s also shown an interest in archeology, especially since his uncle is an Archeologist, and gave him a necklace with a claw fossil attached to it.

That’s all I’m going to share for now, I feel like it’s best to learn about them as we go through the story. I also wanna mention that Jasper will be much more alive, bringing in more human characters and rounding out the few we get to see. Jack and Vince will still be rivals (it’s mostly one sided, Vince can’t handle Jack’s quite self.) sierra will have more to her than just being Jack’s small crush. Her friend will go through a race change and will have a twin, her family will also be the one fostering Miko. There will also be more characters introduced, you will just have to wait to meet them.

#transformers #tfp #tf au #tfp au #transformers prime #jack darby #miko nakadai #tfp jack #tfp miko #rafael esquivel #tfp raf #tfp vince #maccadam

[boyfridged]

i'd love to hear about his little habits headcanons!! and disability ones

as to small habits, a lot of these are based on his background and how i think he was raised- i believe most of the time he has incredibly good manners, and i'm not even talking about what he learned at the manor; i mean simply being considerate and polite when interacting with civilians. things like tipping generously, taking his shoes off when entering someone's house, keeping his space as clean as possible etc. i also like to think he was brought up with his parents reminding him of value of their belongings (since they did not have much and needed their appliances etc to serve them as long as possible) and so he takes care of his things and maintains them well, mending his own clothes etc. in general, i think he's very particular in terms of housework and perhaps a little obsessive about it, as it helps him to maintain an illusion of control during moments when he is out of mask... (and his mask is usually a buffer between him and simple life, so he needs additional systems and rules to maintain this distance...) of course i think he gets worse at all of these things sometimes, especially when he's at his lowest and doesn't have the energy to keep up even with the most natural and ingrained into him routine...

oh, he also loves lists. and he loves handwriting and physical paper in particular, both in his personal life, as well as when it comes to returning to traditional media and techniques in detective work when possible (even though he's obviously proficient in technology). he often fiddles with pen as he writes things down.

he has a lot of quirks when it comes to the way he interacts with people... he observes them quite carefully (as a kid to understand their expectations and as an adult out of paranoia) but if he talks to someone and truly listens or speaks carefully himself, he averts his gaze and looks into a completely random direction.

as a child he liked to maintain some sort of physical contact, even indirect; he would hold bruce's cape or just one of his fingers once he got more comfortable with him, touch donna's and barbie's hair etc. he sometimes slips into these habits and does some of it post-death too.

regarding the second part of your question, i'm not too keen to share my specific disability headcanons because esp. considering mental health-related ones it can get messy, but i can tell you i think there's definitely something wrong with his brain, if not because of the amount of trauma then also because the lazarus pit actually rewriting brain tissue couldn't come without consequences... i'm not really talking about the magic itself, but given lazarus simply heals injuries, the *freshness* of this healing would definitely reflect some issues that regular patients have; i believe jason would still have to relearn some things and that he would lack built resistance to some external factors, hence making him more sensitive. this would incline him to pursue training with an intensity that could cause further damage... which leads me to a pretty generic headcanon about chronic pains of all kinds.

#outbox