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owen-not-carvour · 2 years

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hey y’all guess what. here’s an essay :)

blah blah, Super long post, something something, sorry abt the length (you know the drill by now lol)

“hell, i probably spent as much time hating you as you did”

that line drives me literally insane. the phrasing of it is so fucking important.

this is literally just owen telling curt that a) he knew that he hated himself for what happened, and therefore had a way of keeping an eye on him, but still just decided to Not let him know that he survived (not surprising, if i were him i wouldn’t want to fucking talk to curt either lol) and b) he actually Stopped hating him at some point. sure that doesn’t mean there’s no anger at him still (there Definitely is, see torture tango and the way owen talks down at curt the entire time he’s monologuing) but owen doesn’t hate curt anymore.

because directly after that, he goes on to talk about how he Realized something,, that something being that “perhaps putting the fate of the world in the hands of an arrogant, impulsive brute is simply Not the best option".. owen basically then realizes that it’s not necessarily entirely curt’s fault that he’s the way he is or that owen fell. it’s bc of Spying and all the flaws with the agencies and all that that both of those happened (they gave curt power, and he got too cocky because of it, causing him to make the mistakes which led to owen falling). and Because of that,, owen basically realizes that Both of them are victims because of spying, just in different ways. owen is obviously the one who paid the price for it because he fell,, but curt had basically been being keyed up by the agency because of his reputation and being labeled as the Best,, and true or not that got into his head and made him Too proud and subsequently careless. so Yeah. owen realizes that the Root of the problem is the agencies and spying (chimera’s whole thing) and that they could stop suffering if those didn’t exist anymore. (this also ties into everything owen says during the staircase scene but we’ll get there).

also, by saying “i probably spent as much time hating you as you did” owen thinks that curt has already stopped hating himself for what happened. and while this Is true in a way,, because Yeah curt’s starting to move on (albeit Slowly,, though he’s still doing better than owen…) but i don’t think he has actually truly forgiven himself for owen falling. he’s just started the process to getting there. but owen obviously thinks that he already Has.

side note before i elaborate on this: one of the big problems in talking abt this line like this and trying to make points with it is that spies has the most ambiguous timeline like Ever. all we know is owen falls in 1957, and curt comes back to spying in 1961. this line doesn’t tell me how far into those 4 years owen realized the thing abt spying and stopped hating curt. it doesn’t tell me when he thinks curt stopped hating himself. it just tells me that that’s what owen did and what he thinks.

though i Do think that he would’ve been in chimera from very early in those 4 years bc of the dma and just how he talks abt it,, so tbh i think that owen just overthought Why he hated curt one day and realized that what happened wasn’t Entirely his fault (well. the Fall was,, but the reason he was so careless wasn’t. bc i think owen could see some of the same arrogance in himself- he Did tell curt to set the timers to 4 minutes after all- and then connected it to the agencies yknow) so yeah i don’t think he hated curt for that long… but this also kinda doesn’t add up bc then again curt hated himself for a Lot longer than that so. idk. (maybe owen just wanted to exaggerate to make it clear that he knew curt hated himself for it?? but yeah no clue. this is hard. i have to remember that i’m just (over)Analyzing and that i’m not Supposed to be an expert here lol)

but anyway, back to what i was saying, as we know, curt has only Started to move on,, because that’s why he’s back to spying in the first place (spy again ofc) but he’s rlly still not doing too great with it yet, as seen by how he tries to just Convince himself that everything is fine, and the flashbacks and just. how Not Great he’s doing in act 1 part 6. but then, enter tatiana,, and she Really helps him start to move on in a much more effective way (legit just by Being there and letting/making him talk. curts lonely as hell y’all.)

but because owen says “i probably spent as much time hating you as you did” it makes me think that he possibly saw/heard abt curt coming back to spying and thought that meant curt finally forgave himself and figured he could just jump back into spying to try and act like nothing had happened (which i mean. that is what he Tried to do,, but as mentioned, he lowkey was Not ready to be back Bc he hadn’t moved on or actually forgiven himself yknow. it’s cycles. everything is a fucking Cycle.) and that idea probably made owen even more angry at him.. even though it was just based on a conclusion he jumped to.. but how’s owen supposed to know that?? he hasn’t talked to the guy face to face in 4 years!! (he’s Also lonely as hell yknow) and because of that, now Nothing owen knows about curt is For Sure anymore, even if he doesn’t realize it.

he thinks he knows curt as well as he used to (“i think i know which one you’ll choose” and all) but he Doesn’t. and the biggest place this comes into play is when he tells curt to move on (yknow. the thing that makes curt kill him). because curt Is moving on!! but owen doesn’t know this bc he’s not there and he Hasn’t been there to see it. yeah it’s a really recent development for him but still !! so it’s rlly interesting to see how owen is just trying to use what he used to know about curt to his advantage but it backfires on him because he really Doesn’t know him anymore. he just has the old curt and whatever warped image of him he’s created in his head over the years to go off of. he doesn’t Actually see or know abt how deeply losing owen hurt curt. all he knows is that he hated himself for it for awhile,, but then (owen Thinks) something made him stop. he likely doesn’t know abt the flashbacks (despite torture tango,, either he didn’t hear it or didn’t understand what it meant yknow. but owen never mentions it so idk for sure) or the alcohol or that the Reason curt came back was bc he wanted to be someone owen would be proud of. and then, as mentioned, he Definitely doesn’t know about how much tatiana has helped him. hm. in a way, because of this.. curts one step ahead of owen. bc despite what owen says, curts the one who’s actually moved on more. hmm) bc that’s another thing that supports this, too. literally Everything (or close to it) that owen says in one step ahead.

however, while owen doesn’t know curt as well as he thinks he does anymore,, on the opposite side of this, curt doesn’t Realize that owen doesn’t hate him anymore. remember how i said we were gonna come back to the importance of owen no longer hating curt in the staircase scene later? here it is, this is now Later. so here’s the 2 most important things to note for this scene: owen doesn’t Hate curt (though that doesn’t mean he forgave or even really Likes curt. it just means he doesn’t hate him) and owen hasn’t moved on.

that being said, by the time we get to the staircase scene, owen still cares about curt a little bit, even if he doesn’t want to admit it to himself. he even starts the staircase scene without his gun cocked(?? idk gun terminology but i think that’s it) and only cocks it after coldest goodbye reprise,, so he didn't even go into that fight with the intention of killing curt. (which is Another thing we will get to, as well)…. but curt doesn’t see this. he doesn’t see just how Close owen is to letting go and breaking and giving up at the end of the staircase scene (bc oh he IS you can see him getting more and more Tired and hopeless as the scene goes on!!)

but the biggest thing is that curt just Doesn’t realize that owen still cares the Slightest bit for him bc he gets thrown off by “that secret died the night you left me for dead” and what that actually means. i’ve mentioned it a Lot but like. it’s such a weird way for owen to phrase that he doesn’t love curt anymore,,, so in True over analyzing fashion, i very literally take that to mean that just their Secret is dead (as well as that owen stopped caring abt it bc he knew if it got out, only curt would get hurt bc he’s Dead) but owen doesn’t know wtf he actually feels for curt anymore,, but he knows that he doesn’t care abt secrets or anything, and that he Did lose his love for curt when he fell. so by saying it that way he kind of leaves it just ambiguous enough for curt to come to his own conclusions abt what he means by it,, and it doubles as owen’s attempt to maintain his upper hand (one step ahead) somehow,, though he Loses that power directly after that line bc it backfires on him bc he Again incorrectly assumed he still knew everything about curt and how to manipulate him to make the staircase scene go in his favor,,,,,,,, which Very Much So doesn’t work. (told you it all ties together :))

but i digress,, curt thought that his owen was completely gone and that he was basically only looking at the shell of the man he once trusted and loved (which is what he took the secret line to mean) but that's only Partially true,, bc owen wasn't Completely gone.. he was still in there,, though not by much (see he Thought that part of him was dead. but it’s not!)… it's why he never kills curt. curt kills owen bc he thinks the owen he knew is completely gone, bc why else would he have done Everything that he did, and bc he also tells curt to move on... but curt doesn’t realize that that’s not necessarily true.

owen never kills curt despite the literal 5 chances he gets because he just can’t bring himself to. closest he gets is torture tango (which i Will say is very hard to tie into this bc he made it Very clear that that was his goal) but then tatiana interrupts and saves curt. i think that despite how close he got to killing curt,, he still hesitated. like he played it off as just relishing in finally being able to get revenge (and it was definitely Partly that,, not saying that wasn’t true) but in his mind he was probably wondering if this is really what he wanted to do,, which is also why he was susceptible to tatiana’s blow (too many Thoughts paired w focus on curt. no room for anything else).

((oh also, speaking of that,, i Definitely think that owens main goal for curt wasn’t to kill him, despite him Wanting otherwise, but to just Hurt him. really fucking bad. yknow. to show him the horror of staying alive :). it’s the same thing,, he Thought he wanted to kill curt but then after torture tango kind of revised the Plan yknow. like that’s why he doesn’t kill curt at the gala or when he kills the informant.))

but Yeah by implying that he no longer hates curt, owen is basically Saying that he hasn’t moved on (well that and the legit obsession w destroying everything curt stood for kind of says it too) but like. he didn’t make it Clear enough to curt,, so curt didn’t realize this and stopped caring about owen.. and that’s why he Took His Advice instead of keeping him alive and trying to reconcile Something. (bc that’s another thing. no way was he gonna let owen go. it was either he killed him or he took him somewhere. and we know what he chose.)

this isn’t a great conclusion but like. you see how long this post is? you can come to your own conclusion based on alllll of that lol. i am but a vessel for. whatever the Fuck this is :)

if you read this whole thing, and even if you didn’t, thank you for your time.

#enjoy me reading WAY too far into a single line from spies :)#i really hope i made this make sense #this is even longer than my usual posts bc SO MUCH OF IT TIES TOGETHER!!#this is legit like 4 posts in one lol #idk if there’s an evident Point that i’m trying to make here but here’s all the Thoughts i had abt it #this took me 2 hours to write out lol #the biggest things i’ve picked up from spies:#This.#and the significance of the horror of staying alive stuff #which i still mentioned in this #woww #i know i’m not saying anything that’s never been said before but. i think it’s interesting #like yeah we Know but like. here’s my thoughts on it.#but yeah :)#spies are forever #agent curt mega #owen carvour

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funfactory-moved · 2 years

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hhgfhgjkskjdf unfortunately i have to be brave and set a boundary for myself 🧎‍♀️

#bella.txt #i made (and deleted) a post abt this a few days ago but deleted it but like #my sister did smth not good and it put me in a bad place and ruined this past weekend #and basically since then i've had a massive spike in anxiety and i have no idea how to move forward #but since then. we had to sit in the car together for like 4 hours and i like. gave her a hug and was acting civil just bc we were going to #be trapped w/ each other AND my grandma and mom for a long time w/ no way out #but idk i guess she took that hug as full reconciliation/forgiveness when tht's NOT it at all #she got pissy when i told her i didn't feel like hugging her the first time and i knew things wld just be tense if i said no again #but we literally. have not addressed the situation at all #and she's gone back to trying to text me/talk to me as if nothing happened #and it's making me so fucking PISSED #which is why i'm like 😐 i've gotta be the one to step forward and say i feel like i can't go back to 'normal' with her until this is taken #care of. and god i know she's going to get so mad at me #plus a million other hypotheticals i'm trying not to let drag me down too badly bc otherwise i'll never do it #on the bright side i have a therapy appointment tmrw morning so i can tell her about this #but man 😭 i've felt so fucking terrible these past few days bc of all this #like i'll get distracted and be fine but as soon as that's over i go right back to like the heart-gripping anxiety feeling #god i wrote a fucking book in the tags. ok bye #ignore the way i said smth about deleting the old post twice in the first tag. worms in my brain

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apothecareful · 2 years

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just reached the OUAGHHHH stage in the artistic process

#cas posting #outline is done. it took me abt 15 minutes to do the sketch and then line with pencil.#been staring at it trying to figure out how i want to apply the colors for probably a full hour at this point #THIS ALWAYS HAPPENS WITH MY PHYSICAL ART #the amount of times i have light box traced outlines so i can fuck around with the coloring. it’s why i want to get better at digital art #bc it’s significantly easier to go back to the lineart and recolor when you don’t have to REDRAW THE THING A LITTLE #anyways. i only brought 4 color markers with me where i’m at rn #so i’m trying to decide if i want to use all 4 as a palette which could. maybe?#or just do 2 of the colors. ugh #also they’re not like coloring markers they’re fine lines bc im much better at line shading. like crosshatching etc #but that makes it WAY harder to incorporate the colors bc they are meant for the opposite of blending #like im committing to solid patches of color basically. we’ll see #OH edit tag. i am drawing kim :) in my onion he looks pretty good pre color. we shall see if i hurt him

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thatdeadaquarius · 1 year

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sagau with the language barrier issue except... the creator is sick and tired of trying to ask for things so they do everything themself.

and it gives their followers mass anxiety bc they can't even ask what you're doing... bc they know they won't understand anything...

SUCH A GENIUS NARVI 10/10 GOOD WORK SORRY IM SUPER LATE BUT THIS IS *chefs kiss*

Like, that's literally how I feel like I first played Genshin LMAO

Also this has a cont. Part 2 at the bottom bc tumblr fucking hates me UPDATE I FIXED IT THANK FUCK

Paimon was like "and then we go to Mondstadt- ! NO, not Wolvendom, to Mondstadt! NOT THE THOUSAND WIND TEMPLE WITH ENEMIES OUT OF UR LEAGUE, ENTER MONDSTADT FOR THE FIRST TIME BEFORE U EXPLORE THE REST OF THE MAP!! >:("

SO MANY IDEAS YET SO LITTLE WRITING SKILL GUYS HELP-

Also warning this is ROUGH in terms of spelling and editing and im so sorry abt that! I have my art show today so you're welcome to come back if you want to see it a little more readable tomorrow lmao

Edit Update 4/6/23:

Revised and fixed all the bad spelling and grammar (hopefully) so make sure to give another read if you havent read the cleaned up version lol

I dont have a beta reader so its just me trying my best ok-

Everything was like kinda chaos tbh at first

WOW- MY FIRST 1,000+ NOTES POST??!?! U GUYS, WHAT ARE R YOU DOIN??!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH!! IM GLAD U GUYS ENJOYED IT SM!! Also look out for more encoded stuff in the future since i mentioned wanting to continue stuff like this + ARG stuff :) <3

Edit 9/7/23: 2,000+ NOTES?? THANK YOU???

Like u wake up under the Irminsul, and u think ur hallucinating a goddamn gacha game for like a solid 5 minutes, or ur lucid dreaming,

but once u actually took what felt like hours to process that u might actually be in fucking Genshin Impact-

Nahida came running from, somewhere?? Its kinda just very floaty dreamy in here so, unclear, she’s beaming with a giddy little smile (💘)

It’s… so much more than what her game model could manage.

I mean, you knew that, of course you did, but- to see the tiny goddess smiling in person, her cute chubby arms waving in the air, her cheeks all plump with baby fat from her excited smile, pretty green eyes that sparkle only in the way excited toddlers do-

It was just…wow. 🥺

You can’t help it, her sheer carefree excitement, exactly like a child but you know that she must be really overwhelmed with joy if shes letting herself act like that so blatantly, you feel ur muscles tug gently into a smile, you try to muffle it but ur happiness leaks out anyway

She's panting as she stumbles on short chubby legs to reach you.

After just staring at you with those big green clover eyes for a few seconds, she physically shakes her head to knock herself out of it,

Nahida places her hand over her heart, and bows elegantly, going back to looking at you with a small but bright smile, her voice is kind of quiet, muffled in a soft way, much like her game depiction,

“Hzozn! R'ev yvvm dzrgrmt gl nvvg blf! R wrwm'g gsrmp blf dlfow wvhxvmw fmgro R dzh zg ovzhg z uvd gslfhzmw bvzih low!” *

…Nahida begins to look a little concerned… her eyes get impossibly bigger.

…Oh no.

♧

Nahida had apparently quickly spread the news that you can’t understand them, but luckily it seems like all the characters still know you!

Alhaitham is pretty much a constant by your side, you knew he was vaguely studying linguistics in the akademiya… but that knowledge still didn’t prepare you to be intensely stared at with his diamond pupils for hours. 💀

Then he’d tap your shoulder or something, and you quickly picked up that he wanted you to just try and say something.

Then he would scribble for hours.

Turns out they can understand you about as much as you understand Teyvat language (s? You can’t even tell if there are multiple languages, that’s how unrecognizable this language is, damn)

The more extroverted or friendly people, like Venti, Yoimiya, Kazuha, Jean, Noelle, Amber, Xingqiu, Hu Tao, Zhongli, Ganyu, Barbara, Beidou, Collei, Ayaka, Gorou, Nilou

At least attempt to talk to you, and try very hard to watch what you gesture with your hands or body language

They're pretty much ready to play charades at all times for you lol

Interestingly enough, they only ever understood you when you typed in the chat (with other ppl)

But even then not immediately,

Sumeru scholars basically had to make a whole new department (regardless of how much you play with others) to decipher your ancient language (to them) like those old clay tablets with cuneiform we’re still translating?

Like that, your words appear in elemental magic heavy places (so like that abyss lang. It’ll appear on walls or structures, so like Andrius’ stone colosseum? in Wolvendom gained some of your chat replies inscribed and glowing a rainbow of colors on the top edges of the walls)

Much like the abyss language you see throughout genshin, most Teyvat scholars (across nations/internationally) agreed your language is the oldest form of language known!

It’s like modern languages having roots in older ones, like English with Latin, greek, or German roots, or Sanskrit and the Prakrit for Hindi language today

…so of course no one really speaks the root languages anymore, because they’re so old, so those ancestors who spoke those languages would have little to no understanding of their modern counterparts…

◇

Occasionally if you turned your mic on for whatever reason there would be a gentle whisper on the winds in Mondstadt of your voice,

or your laugh in the waves washing ashore in Inazuma and Fontaine,

your startled noises or screams from battling bosses mixed with the landslides in the mountains of Liyue

So they know what you sound like, but that doesn’t mean they understood your language :/

Nahida had been hoping that you’re actual physical form being here would help improve the language barrier

But unfortunately, those things remained the same, but at least you were physically here to talk to now and give more content for the scholars to study rather than them having to make do with your snippets of language from chats

…so needless to say, it took you a long time to realize they viewed you as a god of sorts.

You kind of knew something was up when at least two allogenes were by your sides at all times, or eremites would replace them if they really couldn’t stick around

You figured they knew you weren’t nearly as combatant-ready as they were at all times, hell you obviously didn’t have a vision hanging off you somewhere, and you only really had a knife strapped to a belt, courtesy of the Thirty Corps

You are still kind of convinced that the people of Teyvat, or Sumeru at least, are just pretty polite (and in the allogenes case, very kind or friendly, even people like Alhaitham or Cyno, resting bitch faces they have, seem to soften a little when they’re walking around with you… maybe you’re just imagining it…)

And as much as you would love to wait until they understand you to do something more fun, as you can see the frustration on Tighnari’s face (and his ears try to flatten back hehe) as he looked like he was debating heatedly with some of the Sumeru sages who insist you stay in the city

…so why not go?

It’s not like they’re going to get it anytime soon, and it’s still too frustrating for yourself to charade things or draw things for them because you can’t even hear their guesses 💀

You can totally handle being like the traveler too,

You still have access to your inventory afterall! Plus, lucky for you, you still find a pass for the Serenitea Pot in your little pocket dimension!

So now you have somewhere to sleep at night, and while most of your stuff went to the traveler’s pack, the things like Primogems

(which.. Okay now you really want primogems bc theyre so pretty and shiny irl)✨️

And other high-level things, or just objects of no use for the traveler (so basically all your hoarded level up stuff and infinite amount of weapons lol) came along with you

So you did have to wander the first week or so around the city and even commission the Adventurer’s Guild to grab you food supplies to cook with

Filling up, along with a few big waterskins, you’re off!

...and everyone collectively has a heart attack!

◇

When you show up in Ghandaraville essentially all “✨️💖☺️✨️” on Tighnari’s doorstep-

He chokes on the tea he’d been sipping on before he opened the door lol

He looks a little frazzled so you try to just gesture with “calm yourself small animal” energy with your hands

“Tivzgvhg Oliw! R'n- R- sld wrw blf-?! Mvevinrmw, xlnv rm, xlnv rm, ivhg! ...R mvvw gl hvmw z nroorlm ovggvih mld gl ylgs gsv vmgriv xrgb lu Hfnvif, gsv Zxgrmt Tizmw Hztv, zmw gsv Nzgiz nlhg orpvob…” he began out looking at you and talking and gesturing to his small dining table (the game sucks, his house looks great and has lots of cool rooms filled with interesting plants… oooo…so pretty...)

But then he kinda just devolved into rambling, no need to understand, you can read the vibes and just know that's what he's doing lol

Collei eventually ducks in, and she looks a little panicked?

She’s quickly followed by Cyno, pushing past her to call out into the house,

His voice seems hard and stressed, looking at Tighnari, “Grtsmzir, szev blf hvvm gsv Tivzgvhg Oliw zmbdsviv, gsvb dviv hvvm xlnrmt gl Tszmwziezeroov ozhg-”

Cyno stops and blinks.

Collei’s mouth is slightly dropped open, she also just, blinks.

You blink.

Tighnari blinks tiredly, he looks like he’d rather be done for the day, you think.

The doctor sighs, and moves his head to nod towards the other dining seats.

◇

Sumeru foods are so much better looking in real life, and they’re so good too, your practically bloated by the end of dinner,

As a thank you, bc u cant say it obv, you just gesture for Tighnari to stay sitting, and he gives you a raised eyebrow and a suspicious ear twitch

But stays still, and you reach out to finally hit the eight-pointed star hovering over his, and all playable characters chests at all times.

Like you suspected, it brings up a holographic character menu, but rather than his full model, it kind of hovers in front of Tighnari’s face, replacing his old 3D model self with framing the real thing for a portrait just in front of his face

The poor Denro user nearly jumps a foot out of his chair as he looks in shock at your screen, you do the same “chillll boy” gesture with your hands and press his shoulders for a second to remind him to not run off or panic

Cyno and Collei had done the dishes and put up leftovers, and are now standing behind Tighnari, watching with equally wide eyes,

“...Dszg ziv gsvb wlrmt gl blf?

Cyno’s voice is even deeper and quieter than usual, you feel goosebumps run up your spine

“Ziv blf tvggrmt yovhhvw, Nzhgvi Grtsmzir?!” Collei’s sweet voice is also hushed like she’s witnessing something sacred, Tighnari gently shakes his head negatively in response, his shoulders shrugging,

“Nzbyv? R uvvo... z orggov hgilmtvi, zmw nb Erhrlm rh zxgrmt fk zh dvoo…”

Though he’s replying, Tighnari’s eyes haven’t once left your ancient magic? technology device? hovering in front of him,

and as he crosses his arms and squints to try and look closer at everything floating in front of him, you can see the childlike gleam of awe in his green eyes, (so cute) in fact, now that you glance up and look, both Collei and Cyno have the same quietly excited and fascinated sparkle in their eyes too

With a displeased sneer, you chuck his old level one bow into the material grinding spots, hope he wasn’t attached to that…

Oh well, he’ll like the new one better, afterall, with no characters, all your best weapons and artifacts are ready to use!

With a small smile of reassurance, you finally finish gearing Tighnari up, tap a miniature version of that 8-point star in the corner like an “X” button, and it retreats like a classic TV set📺 turning off into his chest, he startles but then carefully stands

You decide to just start making decisions bc its worked out so far ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

And grab his hand and haul him out into the forest, Collei letting out a surprised squeak, her and Cyno hurrying after

You reach the nearest clearing, and gesture at Tighnari like a bow and arrow firing, he gets it, and your glad he already trusts you, because he doesn’t take long to summon his bow

He takes aim at a smaller tree about two cars length away

You can feel them all holding their breathe, as Tighnari charges it with Dendro, the arrowhead glowing, (it looks so cool and badass irl god you feel envious even tho ur already here-)

The ranger lets it fly, it streaks neon green, whistling through the air, it hits the tree-

and it fucking explodes.

Vines and leaves and the trees roots all rapidly swell like theyre filled with water, like it literally got hit by a superhero with plant powers, which, not that far off actually.

The green floating Dendro seeds make a ring around the tree its so full of elemental energy-

You give a wild grin, you still got it, hell yeah. >:)

Your grin widens as you look over at Tighnari, Collei, and Cyno

Cyno has a smirk lighting up his face, eyes eager, Collei’s jaw has dropped and she’s just frozen staring as the tree finally settles from the burst of the dendro powered arrow

…Tighnari has lowered his bow, and his mouth is only slightly open, his ears perked straight up into the air, shaking with excitement? Happiness? Interest? You don’t know how peopl-animal-hybrid ears work,

and you STILL cant talk to any of them to ask what they thought, so looks will have to do >:/

Tighnari is the first to move, his head snapping over to look at you, the brightest, kinda feral tbh, smile taking over his face-

“Blf pmld, dv xzm'g fmwvihgzmw blf, zmw blf fh, bvg R xzm'g dzrg gl hvv dszg rm gsv dliow blf'iv tlrmt gl wl mvcg. Blf'iv znzarmt."

… and you just 🙂? Cool!

And give a thumbs up👍LMAO

☆

Bonus:

Alhaitham was literally running around Sumeru City trying to find you when you left, tho you did try and leave a translatable-in-3-to-5-business days-note, he didn’t have time to translate that because you were gone.

Or worse, lost in the city, and he would never forgive himself if he lost you, esp as Acting Grand Sage-

Kaveh got a letter a day and a half later from Tighnari letting them know you were having a sleepover in Ghandarvaville lol

Kaveh also had to hunt down Alhaitham to give him said news, then force his roommate to go sit or lay down for the rest of the day to recover lmao

(Haitham honestly kinda freaked Kaveh out bc he’s never seen him that... desperate, it was like seeing a statue emote lol)

♡

ARE YOU KIDDING WE ALMOST HIT LIMIT AGAIN?!

Bro has anyone else had this problem???

I literally had to switch from PC to mobile and copy and paste it there to get all my shit in and tumblr not throw a hissy fit???!!!

FUCKING TUMBLR- SUCK MY BIG FAT- 👹👹 UGH

ANYWAYYYY SO I FINALLY CAVED

And started doing ciphers for when you dont get teyvat’s language! I meant to do something fun like this for awhile but I wasn’t sure if that would be kind of annoying, but if you’re interested in learning what they actually say (which the whole point of this is that dw it doesnt rlly matter lol) here’s a hint:

*hint = Atbash

:> good luck!

Wish me luck on my art exhibition today!! Then I’ll be homefreeeee 😭

Safe Travels,

💀♒

♡ the beloveds ♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist

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charmedreincarnation · 8 months

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ive known abt the void since 2019! yup, it's been 4 years lol. i was feeling mad depressed abt this but during that time, i have honestly grown spiritually and a week ago, i just sat down and wrote a post explaining the law from my pov and how i think people should apply it. as I was writing it, i realized what I believed to be the law and what i was doing in my void state journey were damn near opposites. lemme explain. if i truly believed the void was within me and i could enter easily, wtf was i meditating for it. i could just wake up in it right? but i was meditating damn near 2 hours everyday. so i honestly took a step back. away from me and just thought abt the void on its own? what is the easiest way to enter the void? wake up in it. all you gotta do is sleep and boom you're in when you gain conciousness. then why wasn't i trying this? because i didn't believe it was possible. i kept thinking of the void as a meditative state but it's not. so i went and read @gorgeouslypink doubts post and found all the success stories of people waking up in the void (ty to @voidarchivefiles for making that a billion times easier) and i searched reddit, and amino, and youtube. once i really believed that, i thought abt how to use this method. so i just listened to this subliminalevery night i fell asleep and every morning after I woke up and anytime I felt like it just for like 5 minutes and just affirming that i am going to wake up in the void state tonight and stuff like that. I somewhat detached bc to me it was something that would happen in the night so I'd just live my life for the rest. I started practicing your intention method. I would be like subconcious mind, I am going to drink this water and I would and shit like that. And I did listen to kottie's subliminal that @gorgeouslypink shared and I woke up in the void state and I manifested my desired face and acceptance to my desired university. I am going to UCLA now!!! I am honestly so happy and I just wanted to share. This took me 5 days, it was just releasing doubts (like genuinely) and intending to enter. I hope this helps other and thank you so much.

Im so happy for you <3 this also reminds me of my journey. I tried every method under the sun…. literally every single method. It seriously burned me out and made me hate my life and shifting/manifesting.

Honestly making the law feel natural and doing things you would only be doing whether you were trying to manifest something or not really took a lot of the weight of my shoulders and made it 1000x easier. I’m so glad you really took the time to find what you wanted to do and not what others were doing and stuck with it <3!

#law of assumption #manifesation #manifesting #void state #void success

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arcanesea · 5 months

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Slow morning | bang chan x reader | 615 w.

When you hear birds chirping and bright lights penetrating your eyes, you stir in your sleep, a little uneasy. You try to regain your consciousness quickly when you feel an empty space next to you. That is when you realize that you slept throughout the whole night. Something that doesn’t happen much for the last 4 months. You slowly slip out of the bed, tying your hair in a ponytail.

Your feet take you to the connected room, the door slightly ajar. When you peek inside, you find out the reason for your undisturbed sleep last night. Watching as Chris sleeps on the armchair next to the crib. One of his hands stretched out inside the crib, your daughter faintly trying to reach it with her small hands. Padding across the carpeted floor, you take a moment to bask in the scenery. Your eyes caught a glimpse of your husband’s phone on top of the changing table. Quietly picking it up, you snap a picture of the moment when your baby responds with a soft giggle. You send the picture to yourself before placing the phone back down and picking up your daughter.

You take a look at your daughter, judging if she needs a change of diaper before you prepare breakfast. But it seems like she’s already in a good mood. You took two slices of bread and put it on the toaster. While waiting, you took out a cup from the cabinet and poured yourself milk.

“Did you have a good night's sleep baby?” you ask your daughter with a small voice. She responds with a grabbing motion to your face, smiling. You took a sip from your cup, feeling a little bit better than usual.

“Good morning,” you heard a sleepy voice from behind you, followed by a pair of strong arms circling your stomach. Chris sinks his head in your nape, giving it feather kisses. “Sleep okay?”

“Good morning, baby,” you respond, tilting your head to meet his. “I had the best sleep.”

“Good, good, you look so tired,” he said again, not letting you go even as you tried to move. You only laugh in response. Tired is the default look for newborn parents, that’s for sure. But he’s sensible enough to take a month off after you give birth. When you feel like you’ve got the pace of being a mom, you assure him that it’s okay if he wants to come back to the studio. It took the both of you a week to settle on that, and he never stays too far away from his phone, in case you need him right away. He also took a drastic change in his working hours, coming home early to help you take care of the house, and trying not to leave too early in the morning just to bid goodbye to your daughter.

“Coffee?” you offer him.

“Yes, please,” he answers, finally letting you move freely. “Let me take her,” he said again, reaching for the baby. You turn to position the baby comfortably before returning to the pantry. He took a seat at the dining table, starting his baby talk that never makes you not smile, asking your daughter all kinds of questions.

You set down his coffee cup along with a sandwich you quickly assemble on the table. With that, you murmur a soft “thank you,” leaning forward to place a kiss on his lips.

“What for?” he asks, putting on a confused face.

“For making me the luckiest woman in the world,” you respond with a smile.

“Baby,” he said, taking his chance to lean in and return your kiss, “You’re not the only lucky one.”

a/n. it's 3 am and I'm thinking abt chan as a dad. very normal i guess? every time i remember those 2 episodes of him on the return of superman, my heart seriously gets warm... he'd be the best dad out there🥹🥹

divider from @cafekitsune (thank you<3 will be using them for future posts too.)

#Dad!Chan #skz x reader #skz imagines #skz fluff #bang chan #bang chan x reader #bang chan fluff #husband!chan

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sunsetsturniolos · 2 months

Note

Could u write a fanfic abt Matt thinking y/n was cheating on Matt and Matt starts a fight and yelling at her (from Matt’s pov) PLEASEEE

scandals - matt sturniolo x fem reader

a/n: thank you for the request love! also soryy for not posting a fic in a while, school’s a bitch 😕

warnings: angstyyy, arguing, mentions of crying, i think that’s it, lmk if i missed any!! 💗

lmk if you want a part 2 💗

enjoyyy

lots of love,

m💌💌💌

matt’s pov:

it had become a habit of mine to buy my girlfriend flowers everytime i saw her, and as much and nick and chris bullied me for it, i didn’t care, she deserved to be spoiled.

i was going over to hang out with her today, making my usual stop to target to pick up the flowers. once i had arrived, i used my spare key to get in.

“baby?” no response.

i made my way to her bedroom, softly knocking before slightly opening the door to peak in.

“hi baby!” y/n spoke.

“hi love,” i responded, kicking my shoes off and sitting on her bed while handing her the flowers.

“oh matt, they’re beautiful, thank you so much.” she smiled, placing her hand in my hair and kissing my cheek.

“i need to use the bathroom, we can put then in water after.” she walked to the bathroom before shutting the door.

her phone was on the bed, pinging like crazy. i picked it up, planning to put it on silent.

josh❤️

i’ll pick you up at seven yeah?

see you tn 💙

what the fuck.

who is josh?

i scrolled further up the chat, multiple imessage games and sweet messages, all ending in hearts or “i love you”.

i can’t believe this, i really thought i could trust her.

i was snapped out of my thoughts when the bathroom door opened.

“sorry i took so long, i started my peri-“

“who the fuck is josh?” she jumped at the angry tone in my voice.

“matt he’s my br-“ she stuttered.

“are you fucking kidding me?! i really thought i could trust you yet here you messaging other guys? did you even mean it when you told me you loved me, because you sure tell that to josh all the time!” i cut her off again, my tone dripping with sarcasm and anger, i can’t believe she would do this to me.

“i hope you and him enjoy your date tonight, because im leaving.” i grabbed the flowers and went to put my shoes on.

“matt he’s my fucking brother! he’s picking me up for a family dinner!” she yelled, tears brimming her waterline. “i can’t believe you wouldn’t trust me, did you really think i would do that to you?!” she cried, rushing out of the room. “baby wait, i didn’t mea-“ i was cut off by the front door slamming.

fuck.

i decided not to bother her, instead getting in my car and going on a drive to clear my head. about an hour or so had passed, and i pull into my driveway and grab my phone.

4 missed calls from nick.

2 missed calls from chris.

7 messages from nick.

nick:

wtf happened with u and y/n?

she just came here crying saying u said she cheated on you?

she would never do something like that

she was really upset

girl you fucked up

mf answer ur phone

ffs matt

oh i fucked up big time.

tags: @sturnioloslurps @lacysturniolo @lewisroscoelove @55sturn @freshloveforthefit @mattsneezing @mattsmunch

#matt sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #chris sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #sturniolo x reader #nathan doe #matthew sturniolo #nick sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo

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strstab · 1 year

Text

𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐟𝐟𝐲 𝐬𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐝𝐚𝐲𝐬 - 𝐣.𝐦

summary ; kie’s fever got to you so jj helps you feel better

pairing ; jjaprilbank x fem!reader

notes ; sick readerrr, bath w jj, besitosssss, body lovin, cuddling, our beloved sock, & tinkerbell 🧚

a/n ; so this was actually meant to be out earlier this morning but then got caught up in a family function.. so sorry abt that. ALSO. i was going to post something tuesday but instead of posting it i accidentally deleted it… so shopping w the girls probably won’t happen 😭

after a sleep over at kie’s last weekend, you’ve felt yourself feeling more like shit by the day. on wednesday you were coughing up a storm and now you couldn’t feel your throat or stop sneezing.

you called off of work right after another restless night. jj was at john b’s and kie was the reason you were sick so you couldn’t hang out with her. you were on your third tinkerbell movie with a pile of tissues next to you.

you tried sleeping the sickness away during the day but even with the large amount drowsiness that was killing you slowly, you kept waking up with the same sore throat that wouldn’t seem to disappear. it had been like that since you were feeling symptoms so now you’ve been sleeping like 4 hours a night. or day.

you blew your nose into the tissue and then threw it into the pile. you felt soft fur rub against your neck which meant your cat had joined you in bed.

“sock, please help me. don’t you have powers to make your dear old mom feel better?” you whined just for your cat to give you a blank stare. you huffed and sat up, stretching your arms. you hadn’t gone up to do anything since the second movie started.

you dragged your feet all the way to the kitchen, grabbing a banana off the counter and peeling it open. you took a big bite as you searched the fridge for something else to munch on. there wasn’t much in it. the last person who did groceries was jj. the only things he usually brought home were beer, hot pockets, cookies, an 8th of weed (which he definitely picked it up from his dealer on aisle 10), and cat food. all of which only lasted a week in your house.

you found a cup of strawberry yogurt and decided to diy your brunch. you grabbed a bowl and poured the yogurt into it, then cutting up the banana you got from the counter and placing the bits into the bowl. ‘what a chef i am’ you thought.

you ate your ‘meal’ over the counter while scrolling through instagram. you were watching an interview from a netflix show when you felt strong arms wrap themselves around your waist, pulling you into their hold. you squealed and looked above to see blonde hair making it’s way to your neck.

wet kisses were placed all over your soft spot. “baby, i’m sickk” you whined pulling away from him.

“i know. and?” he pulled you back, this time holding you tighter.

“i don’t wanna get you sick,” you sniffle and he shrugs. guess getting sick wasn’t a big deal for him. but to be honest, he’s always had a strong immune system.

you were conversing about each other’s day, yours sounding quite boring. he was ranting about how john b wouldn’t let him redecorate the cats ass and how pope smacked the shit out of him while waxing his board.

your responses were short. your throat hurt too much to be talking a lot, so did your stomach to be honest. everything ached. you hopped up from your seat on top of the counter and went to get a bottle of pills. jj watched as you took two pills in your hand and swallowed them with a small cup of water. “what hurts mama?”

“more like what doesn’t hurt.” you sarcastically answered. he stared at you for a minute before smiling and picking you up bridal style. “jj what the hell?!”

your feet were kicking air and your arms wrapped themselves around jj’s shoulders, holding on for dear life. his hand was supporting your back as he made his way to your bedroom.

he placed a kiss on your lips and sat you on the edge of the bed. “did you get any sleep last night?” he asked rubbing the eye bags that were forming below.

you shook your head as he peeped the pile of tissues that sat next to your laptop. “stay right here i’ll be back okay?”

“i mean.. where else would i go” you grumbled as he ran off to the bathroom.

you sat there on your phone, continuously sniffling while he did his thing in the bathroom. quickly after, he ran back out to you and picked you up swiftly, dropping your phone on your bed.

you laughed out loud (lol😜😜😜) as he brought you to the sink in your candle lit bathroom. he stripped you of your clothes, eyes taking in your body that was perfect in every way.

you felt your face heat up when you noticed him, arms quickly trying to cover yourself. “stop staring.”

he chuckled and kissed your lips softly. “just appreciating what’s mine, princess,” he murmured.

you let out a sound of annoyance. “c’mon baby, you know you’re prefect.” he picked you up and placed you in the tub. your muscles immediately relaxed as the heated water touched your skin.

“too hot? cold?”

“‘s perfect, j.” you smiled at his thoughtfulness. he really didn’t have to do this, but it made you happy knowing he cared enough to do so.

everything about the room right now was just calming.

you inhaled the steam and aroma from the cookie scented candle that followed it. as jj massaged your back with soap you let out a hum of pleasure. he peppered kisses on your shoulder and upper back while you relaxed in the water. “mmm, i could fall asleep right now,”

“yeah? seeing how tired you’ve been it seems like you could fall asleep anywhere.”

after your bath you guys cuddled up in bed. his request obv. you protested because you didn’t wanna get him sick but he still didn’t care. he went on a rant while drying you up about how all he wanted to do was be close to you.

so now, you laid head on his chest as his fingers were tangled in your hair. there was still a pinch of guilt in you for having him this close knowing you could get him sick but you couldn’t deny the fact that this felt amazing.

tinkerbell played on the tv instead of the laptop but you weren’t even watching either way. your eyes were half lidded as sleep tried taking you over. you tried fighting it, wanting to appreciate the time you were spending with your boyfriend, but it was winning by a lot.

even though all you were doing was watching a movie in comforting silence, it still meant something to you. so, you wanted to be up for it.

he moved his hand to the side of your thigh and rubbed his thumb against it. “you’re falling asleep on me, love.”

there was no response from you but your eyes were still half open. he patted your side and you perked up. “sorry, what’d you say?”

you felt jj’s chest abruptly shake as he giggled above so you got up fully to look at him. “what’s funny?”

“nothing. just how cute you look half asleep.” he smiled and pushed your head back down to his chest. “jus get rest babe. you need it.”

you buried your face in his hoodie and dozed off while his thumb caressed you softly. maybe all you need was your boyfriend with you to get the rest of a lifetime.

yeah yeahhhh ooohhhhaahahshiegsksba

hey yall. hope u enjoyed thatttt. so if you read my a/n you’d know this was meant to be up earlier this day. (april 1st) but i got caught up in a family reunion kinda thing so yeah..

also i had shopping with the girls (cleo, kie and sarah) in my drafts but i accidentally deleted it bc my fingers tend to touch before reading what it’s going to touch… so yeah that’s gone. -(edit) i tried editing my notes and ALMOST deleted this post too…

y’all know my requests are always open so feel free to request!! or just talk to meee. entertain me guys i’ve been bored

but anyways… i’m cuddling with my cat so i’ll catch you guys laterrrr.

#jj maybank fluff #fluff #jj mayback x reader #jj maybank #kissing #obx jj #jj maybank x reader #i love him #strstab

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spacelazarwolf · 9 months

Note

i think you’re absolutely right about the cuntboys/make trans guys pregnant shit. it made me so uncomfortable too.

pregnancy has always been a giant fear of mine, and there are people out there who genuinely think forcing trans men to get pregnant will ‘fix’ us or some shit. like, sure, it’s fine to joke abt stuff that affects you, but that post didn’t read all that jokey to me tbh.

and the cuntboy thinf. seriously? that’s essentially just pushing us- (sorry can’t remember the right word for it lol) but it’s just pushing us down to labeling us by what we were born with and differentiating us from cis men

it's just blowing my fucking mind to watch them try to backtrack and claim it was "just joking about kinks between friends" because that is literally not what happened. they were talking specifically about a group of "cuntboys" they don't like, said that they should make those "cuntboys" they don't like "fat and pregnant" and then joked about making them "breeders." if they were joking about a kink between friends, they'd have made a separate post and used language that made it clear they were talking about themselves. they didn't though bc they were literally talking specifically about a group of people they don't like and specifically weaponizing a terrifying and traumatizing experience a lot of trans ppl who can get pregnant never ever want to experience.

and i put this in the tags of my other answer, but like. when roe v wade fell, i waited on the phone for 4 hours with the "women's health clinic", the only clinic in my area that took medicaid, to try to get an appointment to get sterilized and it took another two weeks just to get it confirmed. i remember the guy i was hooking up with texted me the day the news broke and asked if i wanted to stop hooking up because he knew how huge a fear pregnancy is for me. i had been trying to get sterilization surgery for years but kept getting sent away, and finally i had to just tell the doctor i had my appointment with "listen dude i am almost 30 i know what i want if i get pregnant and i can't get an abortion my only option will be to kill myself and i really want to fucking live so please give me this surgery." insurance ended up not even covering a hysterectomy so i had to opt for tubal removal. because even being on hormones and having a clear record of asking over and over again for sterilization wasn't enough to grant me bodily autonomy, i had to give them no other option. i got misgendered the entire time i was at the hospital and don't even remember how i got home because i was barely out of anesthesia and conscious when they loaded me in my sister's car.

a pregnancy is a death sentence for so many trans people. and for those that end up going through it, or even for those who want to go through it, pregnant trans people are treated horrifically. if your kid comes out with birth defects, you can be prosecuted for child endangerment because testosterone can cause birth defects.

you do not fucking make jokes like that about other people. and you do not turn around and tell the people you made rape/forced pregnancy jokes about that they're being too sensitive or that they're somehow making you uncomfortable for calling you out on your disgusting and misogynistic joke. this is not fucking 2016 reddit you do not have to be an edgelord to be accepted as one of the guys. making literal rape jokes is not protecting trans women. it's you being a misogynist. i am not changing my mind on this.

#ask avishai

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freshbakedbreadstick · 10 months

Text

No. 1 Party Anthem - Mikey Berzatto x F!Reader - Chapter One

Past!Mikey Berzatto x F!Reader

Carmy Berzatto x F!Platonic!Reader

Richie Herimovich x F!Platonic!Reader

Summary: You finally grab the bear by its ears and face it head on, despite all the unanswered questions.

Warnings: All my fics are 18+ regardless of the content. Heavy spoilers. Mentions of self harm, grief, death, mental health issues, strained relationships, smoking.

Word Count: 3.1k

A/N: OMG thank you all for all the kind words and love ! ! ! I'm gonna b honest with you all, after i posted the prologue I completely logged out of my account for the week LOL I was SO nervous abt it and so I just left it alone 😭 but I'm back with the first official chapter ! Also, I am opening the taglist for this series, so please let me know if you want to be tagged ! Thank you to one of you lovely readers for asking about that ❤️ your comment was very appreciate bc tbh I completely forgot abt even considering making one 💀 thank u babes ily and I hope you all enjoy !!!

Taglist: @marysucks-blog

PROLOGUE / MASTERLIST

The rumble and honk of a car driving quickly down the street took you out of your thoughts.

Here you were, once again, on the sidewalk and across the street from The Beef. This time, it was not some odd hour of the night but rather 4 o'clock in the evening.

After tossing and turning all night long, you rose early that morning much to the insistence of your mom and dad, who were very much eager to get you to reunite with Natalie, with bags under your eyes and stiff joints. You trudged around the house, jumping at every small noise that somewhat resembled the notification sound of your phone, before finally giving up and plopping down on the sofa to send Sugar a text.

'Hi Sugar, it's me. Nice to talk to you again. I'll swing by The Beef at around 4 if that's okay with you.'

About 5 minutes later, a loud buzz made you drop a glass of water to the floor.

'Of course! I'm so happy to hear from you! I can't wait (:'

You could feel a pit forming in your stomach as you read the message. You can practically hear the way her voice lifts in excitement as you read it. To make matters worse, the smiley face felt like it had a mind of its own and it was taunting you. It practically said 'Remember the good days? Remember how close you and Sugar were? Before everything happened?'

With a shallow breath, you threw your phone onto the nearest soft surface and scooped the broken glass up with your bare hands.

Your parents fussed around you all afternoon before you left. At first, they said it was to make sure you were okay with going over there but it became pretty clear that they were pretty much just making sure you weren't going to back out. While you understood why they were chasing you around like a chick chased their mother hen, you got tired of it really quickly.

"Mom, I'm serious, I'm okay!" You insisted, pulling your shoe on and pausing at the threshold of the front door.

"Are you sure? Do you want us to come with you? How about you let us drive you-"

"I'm fine!! I'm going now!"

With a sigh, your mother glances at your father before nodding, "Alright honey, be safe."

With a weak smile, you headed off.

And now here you were, finding yourself halfway down the street and being honked at by someone in their car.

Snapping back to the present after replaying your hectic morning, you jump at the realization that you were unconsciously halfway across the street and heading towards The Beef.

"GET OUT THE WAY!" The person in the car yelled, sticking their head out the window.

You ran to the sidewalk and half slammed your body against the wall, chest heaving. You had no idea what took over you and made you move without thinking but here you are now, in front of the same place you vowed to never be at again after Mikey's death: The Beef.

"Fuck…" you murmured to yourself, trying desperately to catch your breath as you closed your eyes.

Focusing on the sounds of tires on pavement and rustling leaves on trees, you took a breath. You counted from 1 to 100 and then back to 1 again. You then opened your eyes and counted 5 things you could see, 4 things you could touch…

With a hard swallow, you turned around, ready to walk to the front door now. It was past 4 now but from the messages you got earlier from Sugar, you knew that there was 'no rush' and to just 'come in the front door'.

"I can do this, I can do this…" you whispered to yourself and lightly jumped in place, hyping yourself up.

You pushed forward, rounding the corner of the wall and to the front door, when BAM! Some guy just slams into you.

You fly backward, stumbling as you try your hardest to avoid falling onto the pavement.

"Watch it, idiot!" Some guy in a high vis vest barks at you before marching away with a wrapped sandwich in his hand.

You stare, mouth open in silent shock and confusion, unable to respond. If this guy had bumped into you about a year ago, you would have practically beat him up yourself. Mikey would've had to come out of the restaurant and drag you off the guy, laughing and cheering all the way. His strong arms would wrap around you and somehow lift you up and off, voice husky in your ear as he alternates between voicing good humored apologies to the guy who had the misfortune of being an asshole to you and murmuring about how hot you looked while you defended yourself.

But in this moment, all you could do was regain the little confidence you had and go back to the task at hand: walking in.

You swallow before standing up straight, plastering on a faux confident but cool grin onto your face. With your head held high in a way that you used to do but doesn't feel like you anymore, you jam a fist into your pocket and use your other free hand to push the front door open and waltz in.

Cooly, you scan the empty restaurant. It seems like the lunch rush was very much over by now and the last customer for a while before the dinner rush had crashed into you and left moments before. So now, it was just you and The Beef.

"Give me one sec!" A loud and charmingly obnoxious voice yelled from the kitchen.

Your facade slipped as you heard this voice. Instantly, your shoulders sagged as you let out a quiet but pained laugh under your breath.

The booming voice of Richie got louder and louder as he came out of the kitchen and to the counter, "How can I help you-"

He paused. You immediately stood up straight again, a wide and sly but fake grin spreading over your face.

Richie blinked, frozen. His eyes were wide and mouth had dropped slightly open.

After a couple seconds, the awkwardness started to set in for you, prompting you to speak up, "Jesus, Richie, you look like you've seen a ghost."

In an instant, Richie snapped back to reality with a grin on his face, "COUSIN!"

You winced at the volume, apparently not being the only one as you heard a couple muffled groans and protests from the kitchen as well as someone saying "what?!"

Richie threw his arms out, wide, before dropping them and racing around the counter to you. With a laugh, Richie's arms enveloped you, squeezing tight.

You stiffened up immediately, feeling bad for not reciprocating instantly like you used to do. But whether or not that bothered Richie, you would never know because as fast as he enveloped you in a hug, he pulled away.

"Cousin, what the hell are you doing this side of the country, huh?!" He grinned and placed his hands on his hips.

"Oh my gosh!" Another voice said.

Your head whipped to see Sugar at the doorway to the kitchen. She clutched a clipboard in her arms but as both of your eyes connected, she let it fall to the floor with a clatter.

You can see her eyes well with tears as she raced around the counter to join you and Richie and as she got closer, she blinked them away. A wary smile appeared on her lips as she stood next to you, making her look a cross between nervous and relieved.

"Richie, give her some space. Oh my gosh, hi!!" Natalie gasped.

You winced a bit and smiled, "Hey…"

You wanted nothing more than to crawl into a hole and stay there forever.

"Shit cousin, I had no idea you were coming here! If you let us know beforehand, we could've made you a welcome party or, or, or something!" Richie said, ignoring Natalie.

"How the hell have you been? How was it out west? I heard you got back in town but had no clue you were coming over here to visit!" Richie continued, going on and on and on.

You stared at him, eyeing the way he looked rugged and much more tired than usual. But Richie was the same old Richie, loud and brash but caring when he wanted to be.

Your eyes wandered from Richie's frame over to Natalie, who seemed to be analyzing your body silently. Her eyes were filled with worry and her fingers rapidly intertwined with themselves as she gave you a look that meant to say, 'Is this okay? Are you okay?'

You glance back at Richie before your eyes fell behind the two and to the entrance of the kitchen where a crowd had formed.

And in front of that crowd was Carmy.

Your shoulders tensed up, visibly enough to make Natalie perk up and whip her head around to see what you were staring at and make Richie go silent. The two glanced at Carmy and, unbeknownst to you, gave him a look of warning.

Carmy wiped his hands on the towel he had and stared back, silent. His body language was unreadable and you couldn't tell whether or not he was upset at seeing you. Either way, you could feel the hair on the back of your neck stand.

"Carmy…" you said, voice hoarse.

You cleared your throat and awkwardly nodded, acknowledging those around him. You recognized a couple faces and others seemed unfamiliar but either way, they all looked at you with curious and cautious eyes.

After stewing in silence for a bit, Sugar spoke up, "Carmy… say hello".

Carmy blinked, eyes still set on you making you feel pinned to the spot. You could feel your breakfast swirl in your stomach as his eyes glared into you, analyzing your every move. Finally, he nodded and turned around, making the crowd behind him part like the red sea as he moved back into the kitchen.

Suddenly, another face appeared in the doorway of the kitchen before yelling out your name excitedly. Fak came racing out of the kitchen, following the same path that Richie and Natalie took, before stopping in front of you.

"Holy shit!," he exclaimed happily, "Your home!"

Your shoulder sagged.

Home.

You were home.

He giggled to himself, not at all noticing your reaction "I haven't seen you in forever, how are you?"

"Jesus man, give her some space she just arrived," Richie began, already launching into an argument.

"What do you mean? I'm perfectly fine!" Fak said, head snapping over to Richie before the two began to bicker.

Natalie rolled her eyes at them and turned to you, still concerned, "Just ignore them. Are you okay, sweetie?"

You stood up straight again, wiping the wide eyed expression you didn't even know you had on your face for one with a lazy smile, "Yea, I'm okay."

She reached her arm out, hesitating for a second to see if you would reject her, before resting her hand on your forearm when you seemed okay with it. She gently ushered you around the bickering men and behind the counter, to the kitchen. The crowd watching dispersed with curious eyes and kind smiles from those you recognized, letting you two pass through.

As you walked through the kitchen, gulping as your eyes retraced each corner and crevice you had tried to forget about, your eyes stopped briefly to look at Carmy. With his back towards you, he silently chopped some vegetables, seemingly ignoring what was happening around him.

"Here we are," Sugar said, quietly announcing to you to get your attention.

You turned and dug your heels into the ground, soles squeaking as you did so. Sugar jumped back and glanced at you.

"Can we… I'd rather we talk outside." You announce, voice wavering in a way that made your previous confident persona waver.

Right in front of you stood the door to the office; an office you were very much familiar with as you too had spent many times there. All those memories, all bittersweet at this point, came rushing back; the nights you spent arguing over bills and paperwork with Mikey, the days you came with a bag of donuts from your favorite shop nearby, the intimate moments where your and his lips connected behind the closed door, the moments in which you hid in the office and cried your heart out.��

Sugar noticed the way your eyes had become misty and promptly led you to the back door of the kitchen and to the alleyway.

“I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, that's okay. We can talk here.” she said soothingly.

Her voice was so comforting, making you feel nauseous. You hated the way that Sugar would always act very motherly, even when you were all kids.

With a shaky breath, you nodded and smiled anxiously, “I'm okay Sugar, you don’t need to worry.”

Glancing at you, Sugar smiled softly. But her smile quickly dropped when she scanned your features, taking in your face again.

“You look,” she began quietly, “You look good.”

You chuckled to yourself, knowing damn well that she was wrong, “Thanks, you too.”

Richie bursts out the back door, with Fak in town, still bickering.

“My God you two, just stop!” Sugar yells, getting the two to finally snap their mouths shut.

Fak playfully salutes Sugar, a knowing look on his face while Richie rolls his eyes and crosses his arms.

“Yea whatever. I’m just happy to see you again, cousin.” Richie says, directing his body to you, with a tone of softness in his voice that felt so foreign that it made you shiver.

“It’s nice to see you too,” you said softly, rubbing your hands on your thighs.

It was silent for a bit as the four of you all glanced at one another, unsure where to start and what to say. Each party had so much they wanted to say to each other at that moment, but you knew that the three people standing before you had the most to say to you.

Carmy came out the back door, silent and unsurprised to see the four of you glance in his direction. He closed the door behind him and stood off to the side, away from all of you. He then proceeded to take out a pack and light a cigarette, quietly puffing.

“Cousin, did you even say hello? It’s rude as hell to just ignore her,” Richie said, a bit agitated at his dismissive behavior.

Yet Carmy ignored him, staring out to the side and away from you all, his blue eyes flickering, but refusing to even glance in your direction.

You could feel your eyes prickle and your throat tighten, regretting even showing up. Carmy was the one person you haven't seen the longest and here he was, ignoring you as if you didn’t even exist.

“Hey,” Richie barked, taking you out of your thoughts, “At least look at her!”

Richie began to stomp forward to Carmy, making you and Sugar flinch as you watched. Fak moved forward, reaching out to Richie and mumbling quietly to get him to stop. Right before Richie could grab Carmy by the shoulder, Carmy spoke up.

“I’m glad you're okay.”

Your mouth dried up.

His eyes turned to you and all you could see in them was pained understanding. He knew you weren’t okay; an okay person wouldn’t just pack up and leave the night after her boyfriend’s funeral. But, he saw that you were alive and the fact that you showed up here after so long meant something.

It meant that now you were okay.

“Thanks Carmy” you said, making everyone’s head turn to you.

Richie rocked his jaw and nodded silently, stepping back from Carmy.

The three of them watched as Carmy lifted his box of cigarettes and offered one to you. They then watched as you walked forward, arms that had wrapped around your body falling, to grab one. He fished his worn lighter from his pocket, carefully lighting the cig you held around your lips for you, before pocketing it and leaning back against the wall.

You take a deep drag, letting the nicotine smoke fill your lungs before exhaling. It soothed your nerves, reminding you of the moments that you spent outside with Carmy, avoiding the yells from inside the house during a Berzatto family event.

Suddenly, a deep funny feeling began to strew about in your belly. It felt odd and you tried to suppress it, but you just couldn’t help it. You barked out a laugh.

It surprised you and everyone, not at all expecting it. You felt your cheeks heat up, horrified as to why you just laughed.

You breathed in, only for it to come out as another laugh. Your horror was then replaced with amusement, making you laugh even harder.

Sugar, Fak, and Richie all averted their gazes, a mixture of remorse and shame written all over their faces.

You laughed even harder, slamming your back against the wall before sliding into a crouch. Your body shook so hard as you laughed, barely able to keep the cigarette between your fingers.

Carmy looked away, an empty look on his face as he too chuckled to himself.

After laughing so much that your belly began to hurt, you finally spoke up between dissolving giggles, “What the fuck am i even doing here!?”

Natalie turned her back to everyone, clutching her body in her arms. Fak walked forward and gently placed a hand on your shoulder. You didn’t even look at him as he hooked one of his arms under your arm and helped you up from the floor to stand against the wall again. Your knees buckled slightly as you continued giggling and wheezing in an attempt to catch your breath.

Fak stepped back and sighed softly, watching your chest heave as your breathing began to stabilize.

An uncomfortable silence fell as you caught your breath, leaving the four of you in limbo to listen to a couple cars pass by and the wind blow softly by.

Carmy straightened up, making everyone except Sugar turn to him. He dropped the cigarette he was smoking and crushed it under his shoe. He then reached behind him to untie the knot of his apron and then moved to his neck where he took it off completely. He thrusted it forward, pushing it to you.

“Okay Chef, break is over.” He said.

You looked over at him, finding no fear or sadness on his face, before nodding and grabbing the apron. He stepped back and turned, moving to open the back door and step inside.

Sugar, Fak, and Richie all turned to you.

“Break is over,” you repeated and began to tie the apron around yourself before opening the backdoor and walking back inside.

#the bear #carmen berzatto #reader #carmen berzatto x reader #michael berzatto x reader #mikey berzatto #carmy berzatto #richie jerimovich x reader #richie jerimovich #carmy the bear #richie the bear #mikey the bear #carmy berzatto imagine #richie berzatto imagine #mikey berzatto imagine #sugar berzatto #natalie berzatto #neil fak

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multifunctionalnitroglycerin · 3 months

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The Locked Tomb Series Names and Symbolism #4

Hiya folks! Hope you are all doing fine and dandy. This series ofc couldn’t be complete without our beloved Sex-Pal in the count. Now according to wiki there are two figures that inspired the Master Warden, Παλαμήδης, the Greek mythological hero that took part in the Trojan war, and Palamedes the Arthurian knight. I am more well-versed in the Greek myths than I am in Medieval plays, I admit, but I will do my best to do justice by both these inspirations.

But first things first, some etymology. There are two most prominent versions for the etymology of the name Palamedes or well, Παλαμήδης. In the first one, it’s a derivative of the verb παλαμάομαι meaning devise/contrive and invent. Aka the inventor that devises plans (Or concocts schemes, depending on how you want to see it). In the second one it is believed to derive from the verb παλαίω => παλεύω aka fight and μήδομαι => σκέφτομαι, συμβουλεύω aka think and advise. So, Palamedes would be the one that thinks abt the battle and gives advice for it. Both etymologies I feel fit our inventive strategist, The Master Warden of the Sixth, to a t.

Let us now begin with the Greek hero from the Trojan war. And no my pals, this is not yet another Iliad reference, for our proclaimed hero does not actually appear in the Iliad. His first appearance is in what has been known as the Κύπρια, a well-known epic of the ancient Greek literature that despite being quite famous during the classical period, has been lost to the sands of time. Long story short, this epic is a part of the Trojan circle and follows the conclusion of the Iliad. Palamedes’ story is one of many included in the epic that counts I think 11 books.

Truth to be told, Mythological Palamedes did star in quite a few epics, tragedies and other works that refer to the Trojan war or the time after it, but for the sake of keeping the post relatively short, and since I do not quite have the time to hunt down every ancient text reference and draw a parallel to the Master Warden, we’ll mostly reference the most relative ones and I’ll leave a list in the end, in case some of you do want to go hunting ancient texts.

I’ll start with a fun fact. According to a Trojan priest of Hephestus, Dares the Phrygian, Palamedes was described as tall, slender, wise, magnanimous, and charming. Now I cannot speak for everyone, but well, to me that sounds like Palamedes Sextus.

In general, there are not many direct parallels that I can make between Palamedes the Euboian and Palamedes Sextus, bar for the most obvious one, that they are both ingenious. Palamedes the mythological figure was accredited with inventing part of the Greek Alphabet, lighthouses, navigation, coins, the division of time into months days and hours and a few board games, with κύβοι being one of the most prominent (to my understanding it’s the equivalent to dice). Palamedes Sextus on the other hand, figured out the secret to Lyctorhood, necromantically bound his soul to his skeleton, saw through Cytherea’s ploy, exploded himself, created a bubble in the River in which he persevered until Camila could glue his skull back together and he figured out a way to co-exist with her, in her own body, without killing them both, plus the Grand Lysis and Paul’s creation.

What mostly sticks with me from the above, among others, is navigation. One Palamedes is the inventor of it, and the other, though by that point is Paul, seems to know a way to the Tomb via the River. The river that even God struggles navigating – at least with other people on the way. So, could it be, that Palamedes -that beat even Cassiopeia in time survived in the River – figures out a way to truly navigate this sea of the dead?

Two smaller parallels we could draw from mythological Palamedes are 1. Pal seeing through Cytherea’s ploy, the same way that Palamedes the Euboian saw through Odysseus’ ploy when he wanted to avoid fighting in Troy and played mad, plowing the earth with a horse and an ox throwing salt in the holes. 2. The syphoning challenge. This story also includes Palamedes butting heads with Odysseus – not going to lie to you, they were evenly matched in genius – although according to some accounts it’s Palamedes who was the brightest and most ingenious of the Greeks - , but Odysseus never forgave him for uncovering his ploy and may or may not have orchestrated Palamedes’ murder – only in this analogy Pal is Odysseus. In a time of great hunger for the Achaeans, Odysseus was sent to Thrace to find wheat and returned empty-handed. Palamedes mocked him, and Odysseus replied that for all his ingenuity he too would return emptyhanded. Palamedes did embark on the quest and was successful, returning with shiploads of supplies. In the syphoning challenge, Pal is Odysseus, the one who turns up empty handed, refusing to risk Camila’s well-being once he figured out how the test worked. And he is also the one that tries to talk Harrow out of completing the challenge. Harrow much like the mythological Palamedes jumps in the opportunity to prove herself – through the challenge’s objective had little to do with proving one’s self, as we saw – and succeeds, obtaining the key.

All in all, the biggest parallel’s we can draw here, is that Pal like his mythological namesake is a genius inventor and strategist, a bright necromancer and brighter scholar still. He is the Odysseus in Harrow’s Palamedes and vice versa.

And now that I drew the parallel with Odysseus I cannot unsee it. He made his body the Trojan horse that exploded in Cytherea’s face. He was stranded in the River – the sea of the undead, of the souls and corpses and all that nice stuff – for however long it took Camilla to piece the skull together, like Odysseus lost in the seas. He found his Ogygia in Camila’s mind where he stays safely stored until his stop in the island of the Phaeacians – Naberius’ body. A brief stop gathering supplies, gathering courage before going home. Back to Camilla, but now as one. There is no him and her anymore. They have had a home in each other, and it’s time he returned to it, burning down the ruins of the past, and getting reborn as something new, together, as one. (Cam and Pal are a phoenix metaphor if I have ever seen one.)

Onto the Arthurian Palamedes now, our friend was a knight of the round table, and makes his first appearance in an expansion of the Tristan and Iseult legend, as a knight vying for the princess’ hand, much like our beloved Sex-Pal wanted Dulcinea’s affections. There are no Trsitans in this world however, merely Cytherea as an imposter.

Now what is interesting about the Arthurian Palamedes, is that according to various tales he is the hunter of the Questing Beast – a multi animal snake like monster that he, Percival and Galahad are tasked with exterminating. In most versions the hunt is futile and bears no results. After Palamedes converts to Christianity however, releasing himself from the worldly entanglements, he is finally able to slay the beast after the other two trap it in a lake. My theory here is that the Questing Beast, Beast Glatisant or whatever you want to call it, is a Resurrection Beast, perhaps even Varun the Eater. And the Warden has “converted to Christianity” by ascending, aka completing the Lyctorhood process. He shed his mortal shell, disentangled himself from the coils of mortality and worldly needs, becoming very much the equivalent of the “converted Palamedes”.

Practically, to sum up, Pal through Lyctorhood and Paul could be the one to slay the Resurrection Beast that is Varun the Eater. With the help of two other individuals – for some reason I feel one of them would be Pyrrha – they trap Varun in a “lake” – could be the Tomb, could be the First, could be yet another metaphorical body of water – and he is the one who end the RB that allegedly killed and consumed Cassiopeia the First.

That’s the post folks, now the list of ancient Lit that I promised:

Ἀπολλωδώρου, Βιβλιοθήκης Ἐπιτομή, 3.7 / Apollodorus, library epitome 3.7 (But he, not wishing to go to the war, feigned madness. However, Palamedes, son of Nauplius, proved his madness to be fictitious; and when Ulysses pretended to rave, Palamedes followed him, and snatching Telemachus from Penelope's bosom, drew his sword as if he would kill him. And in his fear for the child Ulysses confessed that his madness was pretended, and he went to the war)

Ὑγίνου, Μύθοι, 105/ Hyginus' fabulae 105

Παυσανίου Ελλάδος Περιήγησις,/ Pausanias' guide to Greece

Γοργίας, Υπέρ Παλαμήδους Απολογία / Gorgias Palamedes’ Defense

Ovid, Metamorphoses pp. 13.34-60, 308-312

Virgil, Aeneid pp. 2.81-85

Plato, Apology 41b

Take care of yourselves! See ya on the next one!

#the locked tomb #tlt #tlt series #tlt spoilers #tlt palamedes #palamedes sextus #palamedes the sixth #camilla hect #tlt theories #names #symbols #Names as symbols #literary parallels #gideon the ninth #nona the ninth

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ourflagmeansgayrights · 7 months

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ofmd s2e1 rewatch where i pause to jot down my thoughts and other random shit

not quite a reaction post bc i've already watched the whole thing. not quite a liveblog bc it's one post and it's probably gonna take me a full hour to get through a 28 minute episode at the rate of pausing and typing i'll be doing

s2e1, s2e2, s2e3, s2e4, s2e5, s2e6, s2e7, s2e8

anyway, pirate time:

i love how much fun con is having choking on his own blood

dream!stede's extremely teary face right before he takes off running down the beach is doing psychic damage to me

also dream!stede's stupid ridiculous outfit with all the long ribbons and shit...

ed and stede make contact so hard shjfkhsgjkfd the loud OUGH sounds from both of them

also the return of ed's old beard! i didnt expect to see her at all this season, so that was a surprise.

"babe" "love" im tearing out my own hair

stede has yet to learn that ripping ass near your beloved can be a love language

stede is a terrible fucking roommate just deal with wee john's gas in silence like the rest of them. goddamn.

WHO HAS THE OUR FLAG MEANS DEATH TRAMP STAMP. WHO IS THAT.

i like when the background OST is familiar to me lol the little strings when stede starts his letter throwing me back to s1

olu: that–that's the swede the swede: Im the swede roach: he's single ;) me: *pissing my pants with laughter*

also the direct confirmation that the swede literally doesn't have a name. incredible

shjkfhdhfkj the crew encouraging him. stede's "it's okay" and roach "be brave" im CRYINGGGGG

stede doing customer service is something that can be so personal. "reservation?" "eat my fuckin' shit" "right! walk-ins, then" average restaurant experience

the random background guy saying "my favorite hand!" abt getting stabbed in the hand is making me giggle. i love the humor on this show

why does stede have so much shoulder movement going on when he's walking through the bar. whore behavior.

"this is for mom!" sorry but i want to know more abt whatever's going on there

also the purple mohawk. dope.

buttons is so distressed LET HIM RETURN TO THE SEA THESE CONDITIONS ARE INHUMANE

"i know the odds of you finding this are slim but so were the odds of us finding each other in the first place" IM RIPPING OFF MY OWN SKIN

also stede's lil sad hopeful smile after throwing the bottle... i care him

i love how they make this wedding fucking suck so we don't feel too bad abt the whole massacre thing. "the natural condition of humanity is base and vile. it is the obligation of people of standing, such as yourselves, to elevate the common human rabble through the sacred transaction of matrimony" if i was at a wedding and the officiant said that i'd also start killing people probably

yayy murder montage :)

FANG BREAKING THAT GUY'S SPINE OVER HIS KNEE

the whole cake scene is so fucking funny im sorry. i love u jim drawing the line at attacking a shitty wedding. i love u archie who wasn't here for the good old days so you dont really see a problem with how things are. i love u frenchie with ur box in ur brain that u never open again. i love u fang it's gonna get better i swear. i love u frenchie again bc u just took the cake right out of fang's hands while he was fucking sobbing hfjhgkjhdkjkf

I MISS IVAN JUSTICE FOR IVAN. wish they could've said he'd just fucked off somewhere instead of dying but i think that would've raised the question of why hasn't anyone else fucked off since they all seem so miserable

very relieved that stede isn't taking the racist/antisemitic caricature drawings of ed to make like a boyfriend scrapbook like some people were theorizing. would've been overkill if after episode 4 from last season stede still didn't realize that ed hated these sorts of depictions of him.

INTERESTING DETAIL THO the background music in this scene is "a pirate's life" aka the song frenchie sang in the pilot. it's an instrumental version obviously but yeah i recognize that tune

also more cool background ppl with dyed hair man i love this show

zheng yi sao flirting with olu is so good. he deserves it.

how nice of ed to offer his drugs to the crew. sharing is caring.

also it's so funny to me that the thing izzy is tormented by is ed saying "you can't do the job, someone else will" the toe thing's happened three times and apparently that was fine but the thing the show edits together right before izzy breaks down into the most pathetic aheemheem whimpers isn't any of that it's ed threatening to fire him

also they cut ed throwing knives at izzy!! what the hell.

releasing the clip of izzy crying kinda ruined it for me when it came time to watch it in the show bc i watched it several times since it dropped and now seeing it in context i was like "ok i've seen this already fast forward." i mean i didnt fast forward through it but i did kinda zone out bc i've seen this bit already. this post kinda sums up my thoughts on it

"trifling ingrate plan" dshkjfshgdskhfjkhgkjh

"SEMI-CLEAN WATER"

JACKIE CALLING THE SWEDE "BOO CAKES"

"i know that guy we had breakfast together!" "you'll be having a lot of breakfasts-es together" "oh, okay" i fucking love this whole dynamic like i can tell they're writing the swede out of most of the episodes for budget reasons (sorry nat faxon) but by god do they give him such an excellent fucking send-off. can't wait to see him again when he's in his trophy husband number 20 era

roach is upset abt not being able to cook, buttons is tied up so he doesn't go running back to the sea (i assume). stede you are not giving your crew the environment they need to thrive.

olu being an optimist :)

buttons opens his mouth to drink the rain and in the background u can see roach yanking the rope around buttons back fhdjskgfjhgkjfh STEDE YOUR SEA WITCH CANNOT THRIVE IN THESE CONDITIONS

stede tries to make things sound good in his bottle letters to ed but out loud he says his actual insecurities... it's so fucking tasty tho that he thinks ed could be doing better without him and THAT'S why he's been stalling so much. not afraid for his life even a little bit he just assumes he's not wanted. brb i have to cry now

"im sorry if that's a little bit creepy" "you are creepy" in this scene where they're soaked from the rain. ofmd said this prince ricky guys is creepy and wet.

stede's fucking FACE when prince ricky says "you're my hero" his fucking "clearly you dont own an air fryer" face I CANT STAND HIMMMMMM (affectionate)

prince ricky "these rubes" "men of our standing" yeah i cant fucking stand this guy (derogatory) i love how he's barely even in this episode

stede's face when the swede is talking abt how happy he is with jackie... my man believes in love so much im gonna cry

also in what fucking way does the swede owe them a life debt. roach and buttons literally tried to eat him

izzy's "you know me better than anyone knows me and i daresay the same about you" this is literally so false i dont even know where to begin. izzy in e6 being like "if i didnt know any better i'd think maybe ed might possibly maybe be actually enjoying bonnet's company" while ed and stede are giggling and making each other friendship bracelets. this guy doesn't know ed at all.

also i cant get over how izzy wont make eye contact he's like staring blankly into the middle distance delivering these lines so flatly until he goes to say "i have... love for you" and in that moment he looks like he'd rather ed were feeding him more toes.

"im worried about you, we all are" not gonna lie my dude you've had a weird way of showing it thus far. where was all that worry when you told him he was better off dead than wearing a robe and singing songs?? where was that fucking love then?

and NOW izzy wants to talk it through. izzy literally voted to make blackbeard great again and now he wants to give open communication a chance???

lmao there's a limit to how many characters can be in a bulleted list so here's fucking. part two. on the same post:

ed asking everyone if the vibe is poisonous and fang cant stop crying and ed's face is just like "eh good enough" im fdhksgfkjtdkh

anyway ed with a loaded gun under his chin talking to himself is hurting me so fucking much actually. ed my beloved babygirl for whom i would die. this poor traumatized man. yes he is making this workplace toxic as hell but god. GOD. im gonna throw up.

the way ed is so fucking casual about shooting izzy in the leg. just calm and jovial as he promotes frenchie to first mate. stepping over izzy all crumpled on the floor. everything about this is so fucking good. i mean it's horrible for ed and everyone around him but for me watching the show this shit is DELICIOUS. i love when the pirates get violent and unhinged i love when this shit gets fucked up. ed's mental state is so bad right now and it is causing me severe anguish but also it is so tasty. fuck.

anyway frenchie trying to turn down the promotion fhjkghdfjkhf

the cut to the swede performing the husbandly duties is INSANE. COMPLETE TONAL WHIPLASH. I LOVE THIS SHOW.

"fuck those hammies up!" spanish jackie i love you

black pete why are you so fucking loud AND WHY WOULD YOU JIX IT LIKE THAT???

why is prince ricky so small. he's like a full head shorter than stede. also this guy is insufferable i love how stede just fucking abandons him fhjkgdhkdfghkj

"the calf muscle is the most mysterious of alllll the muscles" what the FUCK does that even mean. oh swede i will miss you

NOSE REMOVAL FUCK YES. I LOVE THIS SHOW.

obsessed with the swede playing dumb. the dramatic gasp. "wow, so bad!" fhjsghdkjf

"aint you that soup bitch?" "im the money bitch" i love women.

sfdsjkh spanish jackie being into double-crossing. and slapping the swede's ass on the way out. i love this show

i love how zheng says "this much indigo is worth three times what i paid" while spanish jackie and the husbands are still like, right there. and they just don't hear that bit. incredible.

OUGH the back of jim's weird rope armor looks like a ribcage that's so cool

i love how jim is so fucking bad at telling this story. i love how the monkey's paw comes into it. i love fang asking them to do the voice. i love archie trying to hold back her laughter i love jim and fang giggling together I LOVE THIS SHOW

ed's fucking voice breaking through his whole convo with frenchie. im tearing out my own teeth

HEY DID YOU GUYS KNOW THEY HAVE POST-CREDITS SCENES IN THIS SEASON?????????? WHAT THE HELL

i take back what i said about jim being bad at telling this story their version is so much fucking better. squeaky voice "I pray to you, Dark Lord, to make me real flesh! I want to be real flesh!" IM FUCKING OBSESSED. JIM I WOULD DIE FOR YOU

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submariini · 6 months

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Thee Antwerp Gig Overview (by #5)

me and @jeevm arrived around 7:50am at the gig, numbers 4 and 5 bc belgians simply are not a queuing people. not much happened beside chaotic uno and trix doing a short interview with us seven? i think at that point i forget

the bus arrived a little before ten am, and we were allowed to sit inside at that point so we just all went outside again and just stood there for a whole ass three hours being clowns.

jaakko, jukka and jesse walked by a few times entirely undisturbed bc belgians also do not talk ever. (and dutch ppl ig). respectful times.

eventually, at around one, Häärijä got off the bus (mostly as a distraction for K going the other way). This man came by like proper we thought he was gonna just walk by, but he waved and then decided to ignore everyone and beeline straight into my direction for a hug? hello? unsure how he still knows what i look like (was not in the yellow tshirt yet bc cold and he hasnt seen me since simerock).

K and Jesse came by as well -- please note at this point there were like goddamn 40 people there. Nothing like the Munich papal visit scenes at any point.

K just the nicest. Didn't remember me from simerock (fair, it was a factory of photographs) and was like wtf rollo (as per ushe), complimented my boots bc he likes them (they are r+ but usually kids sizes) and i got to be "mean" abt the r+ ticket sale and the bus making it stressful. When he asked it I wanted him to sign anything, I didn't have anything and he just offered to sign my boots? Man did not expect the clown to clown communication that was happening bc he seemed very oh god for real when I agreed.

Someone gave him a necklace and instantly wanted to put it on. The person who gave it couldn't fasten it bc nails/shaking hands so I offered to try and then idk how it got fastened bc christ I shook as well. Not helpful: Mikke both filming that and the boot signing up close 😭

Told Jesse he told me at simerock that I should just join the tour bus and he went "yeah that sounds like something I would say." then scolded me for not having been in Berlin for that 😭

H wandered back and forth a bit, had another weird football chat (rip hazards career) where I was sitting on a little wall, back to the bus still at that point, and he just leaned into me turning around and just held my shoulders the entire time? When I got sweaty and took my hoodie off later he also suddenly grabbed my tshirt when it was riding up I am Feeling Fine.

Was wearing the yellow tshirt w the cross stitch and he made me turn to show Jesse??? And Jesse did the nicest "wait can I touch this?" bc I guess he thought it would be fragile???

People formed a nice selfie line and K just said he's santa claus 🎅

H vanished, then came back out of the bus, and we had a weird mime moment bc I wasnt sure if he was motioning at me to get to him away from the rest. He was and I got fucking free merch??? Like free, not yet available merch. Genuinely what the FUCK. Im making an extra post abt this most likely bc I cannot explain what the hell happened in that moment and the things around it.

When Mikke did the interview w the first queuer, H just stood behind the glass door into the venue and started miming at us. Like not even properly in character? Help.

Gig

Jesus Belgian audiences proving once again we just Are like that. Refusing to goddamn shut up. Every time. Man disallowed to banter by loud belgian screaming. He seemed so touched though jesus christ time to cry

Got roasted for basically slut dropping and shooting my Häärijä sign up in the air before Mic Mac. "yes that mean fucking häärijä" local man fed up w my antics.

Got roasted AGAIN straight after Mic Mac because I was the person he pointed at during the "this is your home now" bit. (promptly decided diving behind the barrier and Face In Hands was the best reply)

Mild bit before the 2nd Cha Cha Cha as I was the front row person he called out for not sitting down. Just yelled that I got bad knees and I'm not sure anyone caught his reply properly 😂

Overall 10/10 excellent gig what the HELL. The belly flop on the balloon, the whole banter before paidaton bc so much of the queue ppl I was with took their shirt off, the way we refused to kept chanting, him trying to eat the bubbles, him talking about Hs dick and the whole balls convo??

Post Gig

Had to pick up merch for a few people, so went with the hope of a third Häärijä hug. He eventually got a bit held up outside of merch by people (lit at the door into the merch room) and I got to just "Sorry it's me again" but he just instantly hug. We talked a little about the gig (did I like it, how I was doing) and like K feeling much better/doing better ft. some dumb crap.

Merch was in fact gotten after I just LOST my friends bc of H.

CANNOT wait for London. and Glasgow but thats with normal people. Like met so many fun people in the queue who are going to be at London jesus christ. Party time.

#käärijä #häärijä #ed.txt #straight up lets GO

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