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zincsishere · 29 days

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The lilymation and think before you sleep drama

...why is the world filled with CUNTS??? Another reason why I don't really share my opinions with people.

This is for the lily fan to keep supporting her and attacking the people in my comments with the rude insults. leave them alone!!

My point with this whole thing is:

1. Lily is in the wrong. You DO NOT send other people to attack someone, no matter what they said about you! You guys are assholes! (I'm talking to a certain amount of people). Just because you don't agree with someone politically or you don't agree with someone at all doesn't mean you attack them or try to affect their source of income when they didn't DO ANYTHING. Sharing your opinion shouldn't be a death sentence.

If you don't agree with someone, try to talk to them first and see if they're worth arguing with in the first place. Most of the people that I was arguing with made the argument pointless and meaningless. It just became a dick measuring contest that I got swept into. I'm an angsty, emotional 14-year-old, and sometimes I let my emotions get the best of me and say shit that I shouldn't be saying. That is my fault, and I'm trying to stop doing that. I'm going to encounter a lot of bad people in my life. That doesn't mean I have to get down and start arguing and fighting with them. Most people just want to fight because they want to fight.

This is more of a personal opinion, but I will say it anyway.

2. TBYS wasn't offensive, and I don't even have to defend him. He defended himself. He made a video explaining himself with evidence to show that he wasn't acting like an asshole or being malicious; he was just giving advice.

This drama is old, but I need to set the record straight. Having opinions (that are well supported with evidence) doesn't make you an asshole, and it doesn't mean you should be attacked! People were trying to show me that he was a "bad guy."

But the evidence they showed me was bullshit. He didn't insult them. He didn't say anything rude. He wasn't doing anything worthy of cancellation. Like I said, I won't accept BS from someone just because I like them. ( aka Melanie Martinez < allegedly sexually abuse someone > and Ariana < she wrecked a relationship then made a song about it saying that she doesn’t care >) If there were something worth incriminating him about, I would've stopped being a fan. But, as I said before, just because someone might be an asshole doesn't mean they deserve to be harassed.

No matter how many times I fucking say this, NO ONE IS LISTENING. DON'T FIGHT FIRE WITH FIRE! No one deserves to get hurt or harassed just because of their opinions! "BUT HE SAID-😟😟" "BUT HE DOESN'T SUPPORT—😡😡" "HE'S A BIGOT—-👹👹👹" (coming from someone who has never watched a single fucking video)

Respect... shut up, please. I don't care if you like the guy or not, but what Lily did is not acceptable, and you can't defend that. That doesn't make me a dick rider; it makes me someone who has half brain cells left.

him potentially being “shitty” doesn’t matter. Hold People accountable for their damn actions.

Other people are making videos about this topic, and I'm so glad Lily is getting the consequences she deserves (she doesn't deserve to get doxxed; fans are crazy), but the rest is karma. I'm still waiting for a ukulele apology from that girl.

I'm turning off the comment section. If you DM me insults, I'll just report you. You're clearly not worth arguing with.

P.S. What I mean by he didn't do anything. I mean, he didn't sexually or verbally abuse or assault someone. He wasn't a crackhead doing drugs on the street and putting up fight with fags (I'm a homosexual 😐). He wasn't going around cussing out everyone he knew and saw; he wasn't going around shooting up schools. He was sharing his opinions (opinions that are well supported with science, articles, and experience) and putting people in their place when they were being rude or disrespectful. That's why I like the guy. You don't like him, that's fine, but you can't sit here and defend Lily like she's not an asshole herself. She's just a depressed one. (That sounded really rude, sorry lol)

You think the video fucking sucks. you think he fucking sucks. OKAYYYY but don’t act like Lily’s actions were agreeable just because you didn’t like his video or because you don’t agree with what he said. if you wanna argue about that, just go to his channel and confront him about it. he would happily defend his ass.

-Not the lily fans threatening to hurt and rape me yet I’m the bad guy here for not agreeing with someone trying to hurt and harass someone’s career then they want to claim that ALL TBYS fans are “right wing, dumb asshole who are bigot and ignorant” :) I’m turning off my notifications

Before you say anything, you have no idea who I am. Stop saying that I support Lily being doxxed or getting raped. I never said that. I said Lily should get 'consequences for her actions'. I have said countless times that I don't support her getting rape/doxxed threats and neither does thing before you sleep. ( you guys all know by now how crazy and obsessive fans can get when it comes to their idol or their favorite person. those types of fans can’t be controlled even if the creator actively tell them to stop. ) ( this should be argument lily should get consequences for her actions as a YouTuber she knows how crazy fans can get yet she actively told her fans to go harass and flagged a smaller creator because he didn’t like his video he could’ve gotten death threats and rape threats from her young fans. ) She ACTIVELY told her crazy fans to harass without watching any of his videos he told his fans to leave her alone. HOW IS SHE INNOCENT HERE?!?!

You guys keep putting words in my mouth, just finding excuses to dehumanize and make me be viewed as a bad person just for disagreeing with you. I'm a young SA victim, and I was almost raped at a very young age. The fact that you guys skipped over everything that I said just to assume that I condone raping and doxxing is beyond me. I'm saying this again “I DONT WANT LILY TO JUST DOXXED OR R@PE THREATS NEITER DOESNT SEAN (TBYS)”

Thanks before you sleep wouldnt actively go out of his way to make Lily because he wouldn't benefit from it, and because he wouldn't do it. he's not that type of person. Please just watch the video. ( without anger/hate and LISTEN TO WHAT HE SAYS ) because if you actually did watch the video, you would know that it wasn’t hateful or misleading of Lily’s character things that he said about her character are things that she said about herself.

Old non-crazy fans of Lily agree with think before you sleep because they actually watched his video and see that there were something wrong with.

He complemented her and explained parts that he liked about her and gave her advice (more like his fans) about health and fitness, since he has a lot of experience in that area. That's all he did - give constructive criticism and advice. He didn't tell his fans to actively go attack her. While Lily didn't watch the video and told her fans to go to his video that she did not watch, mine you, to go for reported cyberbullying. YouTubers work very hard on their videos, editing and scripting. That to just go down the shitter, and he wouldn't get paid for the work. And Lily is an online creator. She should know that if she's gonna send a huge number of people to go report his video, they're going to do way more than just report his video and they're gonna harass the living shit out of him. You're telling me that she, “a person who is a victim of cyberbullying and harassment because of someone that she used to be friends/dating a manipulative and crazy person”, doesn't know how crazy people can be about their favorite creators to the point of bullying and harassing someone to suicide? She had to go to a freaking mental hospital because of it and you’re telling me that she did not know what she was doing ???l I know this information because I'm an old fan of hers. Her videos brought me comfort, and I watched tons of her videos. I'm still shocked by this behavior. How are you gonna send your crazy ass fans to go bully and harass someone? You were just bullied and harassed yourself online to the point where you had to go to the mental hospital. Like, she is fucking deranged or something.

I truly believe she did that with malicious intent and tried to frame herself as a good person getting bullied by this 'bigot misogynistic fatphobic racist YouTuber.��' She knew what she was doing. She should've talked like a proper adult instead of getting a massive group of 2000 people to secretlyharass and ban his video. I wish you could see it how I see it, but creators know what they're doing with these parasocial relationships. The video was harsh, but it wasn't spreading any lies. He gave his evidence, his sources, and he was nice but constructive. Yeah, it's kind of unwanted advice, but it's his video. He can do whatever he wants on it as long as he's make center whole campaign of people to hurt her.

#lilymation #youtube #tbys #i hate it here #girl rotting #common sense

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deadbydangit · 9 months

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Dancing with them.

Doctor, Spirit, Pinhead

Doctor

Herman, as classy as he tries to carry himself, is a terrible dancer.

So he's always avoided dancing altogether.

He figured it just wasn't worth his time.

He was a scientist; they didn't need to know trivial activities like dancing.

But seeing you standing there while others danced made him feel rather jealous.

To be able to dance with someone as amazing as you?

That would be a dream.

It was only when others were starting to approach you to ask for a dance did he spring into action.

"May I ask for this dance?"

He sounds confident.

He carries himself as confident.

Inside? He's sweating bullets!

He screwed himself over.

While he's mentally scolding himself, he'll subtly watch others to see what they do.

Adjusting his position to match theirs.

All while he can't look in the eye because he'd step on your feet otherwise.

When he gets too worked up or excited, small sparks jump off of him.

So you're going to get some jolts.

But he's so busy watching his feet, he doesn't realize your hair is standing straight up.

It's only at the end of the song does he realize he's been shocking you.

He's very embarrassed about it.

He'll stutter out an apology before awkwardly trying to walk away.

Grab his hand, let him know that you aren't upset.

Because he really wants to dance with you again.

Spirit

Rin would absolutely love to dance.

If it wasn't so dangerous.

She's covered in glass.

She'll tell you before hand so it doesn't seem like she's snubbing you.

But she's too ashamed to tell you outright.

"I'm just... You know... I'm... Sharp..."

Because she really does want to.

But she would never risk your safety.

Getting cut up by glass isn't what you want to do at a party.

Isn't what you want to do ever.

Trust her, she knows.

But you two could still dance.

It just won't be very traditional.

Maybe she'll give you her arms to put on your shoulders and give you a little more space.

Technically you'll still be dancing.

She's a little ashamed.

She can't give you a proper dance.

Kind of ruins the whole purpose of a dance to her.

If she can't be close, what's the point?

But ask her for another.

That should make her feel better.

You'll spend the night dancing and giggling with her.

She's just glad you took a chance on her despite her appearance.

Pinhead

Formal events such as this were always a favorite of his.

It's a nice break from his usual work.

Meaningless pain and pleasure was enjoyable.

But expressing something as pure and true as the love he was seeing?

It was a welcome change to the norm.

And that's what prompted him to approach you.

Elliot isn't very good at asking you to dance.

His voice is pretty monotone, so there is very little emotion in it.

But his presentation and word choice is very elegant.

He'll bow down slightly and offer his hand.

"May I offer this dance?"

To make up for his poor ability to talk to you, you'll find that he's an excellent dancer.

His movements are very smooth and he never once trips.

It doesn't matter if you're experienced or not, he doesn't care.

If you step on his feet, he'll interrupt you before you can apologize.

"You haven't hurt me. Do not worry about such things. I am not offended nor am I upset."

He also wants to see your face. See your gaze.

"Do not be embarrassed. Look at me. I want to see your beautiful eyes."

At the end, he'll bow respectfully, kissing your hand before walking you off the dance floor.

"Thank you. Do not be afraid to approach me again for another dance. It would be an honor.

#dbd imagines #dbd ask blog #dbd x reader #dbd killer #dbd pinhead #dbd doctor #dbd spirit

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writing-with-gremworm · 6 months

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"If I had the chance, I would still choose you." (Part 1)

The first time I died was at the World's End. The abyssal tendrils encroached from a sinister center and consumed all that remained, both the living and the non-sentient. I don't know if you cried for me, but I thought you called my name.

The second time I died was at the hands of the man who killed our father. He was supposed to be my real father, but even if blood dictates he is, I have no love for him.

The third time I died, I was poisoned in your tavern. Everything seemed fine until blood, not wine, flowed from my lips, pouring onto the countertop below. My hearing faded before my vision, accented with a constant ring, your face contorted with despair.

I lived countless times, though this is the first time I remembered such deaths. Is there a reason for this? I couldn't tell you. I want to find the truth. Though, I want to make the amends I never made first.

"Diluc, we need to talk," I say, looking up from the beverage I hadn't finished.

"... Kaeya, I already told you to finish that drink and go. I've tolerated you for this long since there was another stubborn customer, but you have to go." Diluc sighs in annoyance, cleaning the glass in his hands before glaring at me.

"Normally I would say something playful and leave, but I have something to tell you before my trip to Sumeru." I begin, looking at Diluc seriously.

"If this is some new way to bother me, then drop it. I see no point in dawdling like this." Diluc scoffs, pulling the rag he was washing the glass with taut in his hands.

"Diluc, just hear me out. I won't bring this up again."

"... I ... ask you to leave." I bite my lip and sigh, this was getting nowhere.

"I'm sorry, for lying to you. Don't forgive me. I know you won't anyway. That's it." I smile sadly. Truthfully, I wanted to say so much more. I wanted to tell him everything I was thinking and feeling, I wanted to tell him I would always consider him my true family. I knew that even if I told him nothing would change, but there was some vain hope in me, "I'll be off then. Make sure not to be so lax with your hours next time, I might really keep you up for the whole night drinking." I add playfully, hoping to lighten the mood.

I turn around. I don't want to see what kind of expression Diluc is making. I can already guess it. I leave quietly after that and head off to collect the last of my things for my journey tomorrow. As I look around my quarters I take note of the papers on my desk. I know it's meaningless, but I decided to write a letter to Diluc anyway.

"He's gone." I sigh, looking at the half-full glass Kaeya left behind. This was unusual for him, even on his worst days, he tended to choke down the stuff with reckless abandon.

"Did he mean it? ... He really doesn't get it, does he?" I mutter, shaking my head and cleaning up the rest of the Angel's Share after locking the doors. I had come to terms with the fact that Kaeya had lied to me long ago. It wasn't exactly hard to piece together after doing my own research into why Crepus died. There were other lies, understandable lies. It was never the falsehoods that made me angry with him.

"... But why is he apologizing now? Usually, he'd speak his mind anyway... No, no I can't ask him. I know what kind of position he's in, he'll come back. ... Won't he?" I felt uncertain. I knew Kaeya would usually bring up anything he truly wanted to say again, but this time felt different. This time, felt serious.

"He said he's leaving for Sumeru. I'll talk to him when he gets back." I mutter to myself.

"Ah, Aether. Can I ask you for a favor?" I smile politely and place a hand on my chin.

"A favor? I can do that, but what do you want?"

"You see, Diluc and I had a disagreement, so I was hoping you'd be willing to give this to him in my stead." I hold out the gift I had prepared for Diluc. I wanted to change it up a little, so this time I opted to give him something practical.

"You should give it to him yourself. You still have that chance. If you had an argument that was bad enough you don't want to talk, that's all the more reason to." Ah, right. Aether doesn't have that choice.

"I-I see. Then you win. I'll give it to him tomorrow night." I don't particularly wish to rub more salt on Aether's wound.

The next night, I head to the Dawn Winery on my own. In other timelines, I had brought Aether, and he had picked grapes. I felt it was necessary to go alone this time.

"Haiz, it's not like he'll even want to converse with me."

"It's not like who will want to converse with you?" Diluc says, walking over to me with a complicated expression.

"Ah, Diluc. Don't tell me you missed me?"

"What is this?" Diluc pulls out the letter I had written. I blinked in surprise, I had never sent the letter, so I was a little perplexed as to how he had gotten it.

"Don't tell me you snuck into my room. You knew I'd be home in a few weeks." I tease.

"Think what you like, what matters now is what you wrote here. Should I read it to you? Or do I need to ask again? What is this?" Diluc's expression is more serious than normal. I wince a bit. I hadn't realized he'd take it so poorly. Though, perhaps some part of me did, since I had opted to write it down rather than tell him after our previous encounter.

"Ah, well you see." I start, thinking over where to begin, "I guess I should start with the first part, right?"

"Just explain."

"Right. Okay. You've known for a while who I was, my origin as a Khaenri'an. You may have been less familiar with my bloodline. As nobility yourself, I suppose it may have occurred to you that it could tie into how easily I adapted to the etiquette of high society despite our messing about." I look at Diluc carefully, measuring his gaze as he taps his arm impatiently, "As for the start of the letter, it's true that I lied about being our father's ... Your father's murderer. I felt responsible for it at the time."

"I knew it wasn't you. I've done some research into the truth of Crepus's death. Move on, I'm listening." Diluc's tone is a bit terse, but considering the discussion, I get it.

"Then I suppose the part you were the most confused about was that I still wished to call you my brother despite it all?"

"No, the part that I want you to address is this; 'Diluc, I have known for a long time that you would never forgive me. After coming back this time, I knew I had to at least apologize. I value you, and because of that I need to be honest with you. Khaenri'ah is not a place I consider home, nor do I wish to go back. If I must leave Mondstadt, then I will be saddened, but I understand. I know that when my identity is revealed I will be cut out, but until then, I hope you will remain my brother.'"

"Ah, that. I don't think it truly needs to be explained."

"Why do you think this will change how people see you? Do you think any of us are narrowminded enough to think you're twisted because of something you didn't choose? Kaeya. Look at me. Do you think so little of me that you assume I would call for your exile? We all have secrets, we all have reasons for silence. You never meant to send this to me, did you? Or when you did, you were going to leave quietly after telling Jean the truth, right?"

"..."

"I know you, we grew up together. You weren't the kind of kid who liked lying. You were so bad at telling lies back then that we got caught stealing wine from the cellar. Do you remember that?"

"I-I do. But that-"

"You were a child, forced by an adult to play a role you never asked for. Stop and think, do you really believe I blame you for that?"

"But you've ..."

"Been angry with you? Of course I've been angry with you, you constantly hurt yourself to protect everyone's ideal image of you. Hell, I believed it too."

"..."

"Kaeya, I don't care if you're the prince of Khaenri'ah. I don't care if you still have attachments to those who abandoned you. I just hate seeing what you've become."

"... You ... think it's your fault ..."

"It IS my fault! I wasn't there for you."

"You were grieving."

"I was your brother."

"So? You believed I killed him, however brief that may have been, you didn't know."

"I should have known!"

"No, you couldn't have known. You were a kid who was just torn away from the only person he allowed to consider his family."

"And you were a kid who lied because you thought it would be less painful to be alone than to have a brother who belonged to another country."

"Diluc-"

"Shut up."

"..."

"Kaeya I care about you. If we're being honest, then I should tell you this too. Kaeya I never got close to you because I became the person you pretended to be."

"Diluc you-"

"I killed people, countless people, and I don't regret what I did."

"..."

"You may have pretended it was your fault, but I actively hunted the people responsible for killing Crepus, the ones who convinced him to become a part of the Fatui."

"He- was a part of the Fatui?"

"Don't you think it was a little strange how easily you were accepted into our family by him despite your distinctive pupils?"

"He was a kind man."

"He was a smart man, and he did love us, but that's not why you were accepted by him initially. Kaeya, I need you to understand that he wasn't a good person."

"Diluc you- you've been carrying this belief alone, haven't you. Is he a bad person? Or did he just do bad things?"

"He was a bad person. I suppose it runs in the family."

"You are NOT a bad person. You have a strong moral code and a sense of justice that is rare even among the best people. Your methods may not align with the knights, but you're not completely wrong."

"But I'm still a murderer Kaeya."

"And you're my brother. Isn't it my job to be understanding at times like this?"

"Not for murder."

"Well, maybe not for murder, but I don't think that you were wrong. Diluc, I still want to be your brother. Is that okay?"

"... Hah, after everything. Do you really want to be my brother? A brother to someone like me who is willing to kill for his ideals?"

"I'm willing to be your brother because it's you."

#ragbros #genshin impact #genshin kaeya #diluc ragnvindr #ragnvindr brothers #This is purely familial #I don't ship them #Please keep that in mind for this #angst #briefly mentioned character death

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bisolationist · 3 months

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I really have been too fucking stupid and gullible. I felt so bad so her and liked her so I convinced myself I was wrong to be angry at her. But lord.

First the starts with "it's just NOT horrific when women sexually assault boys, in fact it's WRONG to treat such a minor event as horrific because they won't treat REAL victims as horrific".

Which is never really fucking addressed, just gets a "I'm sorry I presented this in a toxic way that could be read as rape apologism, but actually you agree with me" as if it was just a teeny tiny semantic oopsie and all the discourse she started was meaningless, harmless, and had nothing to do with her direct call to action premised on the idea that us idiot SA victims are already treated too well.

And yet I was so grateful for some of the things she's said so I tried to defuse things, but WHAT is the point of telling me "I don't want people to belittle the assault of people like you uwu" or "I'm not saying it wasn't traumatic uwu" if you straight up go "Actually you're all probably lying about it lolololol you need to be treated like liars actually I bet the woman that correctively raped you for being bi is Based actually".

Of course that she stood on her ground on the whole "well I still think everyone NEEDS to agree your pain and degradation are SO trivial it'd be insulting to compare to a REAL victims <3 I'm not saying it's not traumatic tho ok <3 just that it's maybe 0.0001% tops of the trauma pain and degradation REAL victims feel ok <3" so maybe I should have fucking known and not been such a doormat

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yeowangies · 2 years

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dangerous

❧

Chapter I: Game

PAIRING: Vegeta/Reader RATING: PG CONTENTS: Lots of teasing, explicit sexual content in the following chapters. WARNINGS: Alcohol drinking, but not too much. WORDCOUNT: 5424

Summary: An AU in which Earth was destroyed, and you are one of the few humans left alive. The plot is meaningless once the smut comes up.

Notes: I have two disclamers:

The plot is there cause I wanted a different context that the usual domestic stuff. But I'm putting this out there now, the story actually goes nowhere and I apologize. In my head, the full story would have taken 20 chapters or so in being resolved but I know I won't be writing all that. So I settled with this little plot, particularly in the first chapter. The next two chapters will be smut.

Lastly, this is my first time writing for the dbz fandom and my first time writing Vegeta. I gotta be honest, I'm not sure if I did him justice. He was hard for me to write, especially in this context but I did my best. Hopefully I'll get better in the future.

I crossposted this on AO3, you can read it here too. This will have three chapters total, and I'll post them during the week. Thank you!

You slowly opened your eyes, blinking a few times, as you woke up from the induced sleep you were in. The pod was incredibly uncomfortable to sleep in, luckily it had only been a few days, and you were a couple of minutes away to land. Out the window, you could see a planet whose name you didn’t even bother to learn. Every planet belonging to Frieza was named after him and were numbered accordingly anyway.

Most planets started to look the same the minute you started working under Frieza. Though working wasn’t the right word, you were mostly in it for convenience and survival, it still made you sick to your stomach thinking about it. Fortunately you weren’t that important to him to even meet him, and your job was just as a mechanic, and sometimes just simple monitoring. You were just a mere pawn, strong enough to be in his army, but weak enough to be unknown. Which was fine, you simply followed orders until you could find the moment to get away.

After getting out of the pod once you landed, you quickly made your way to your room at the base. The mission you were assigned this time was unclear, but the order was to board one of the larger ships, departing later that day. You were wary as to why your presence was required, but it wasn’t like you could even question it. Since it was one of the bigger units, you figured they might need a mechanic, just in case something happened. For a second you contemplated not going, but considering you were at Frieza’s base planet, it wouldn’t have been wise.

After taking a shower and changing your clothes, putting on a brand new armor, you packed a couple of clothes and other personal items, and left to board the ship.

Once you stepped into the spacecraft, you were thankful there was a bar in there. Space alcohol wasn’t like Earth’s, but it was better than nothing. It’s been a while since you even had a drink.

After Earth was destroyed, and only a couple of earthlings were saved, no one prepared you for how lonely it was to be a survivor. You missed your friends, your parents, your pet. You realized what it actually meant to be human when you learnt most people working for Frieza didn’t do much in the time when they didn’t have to work. Drinking was granted, for sure, but there wasn't even a variety of culture within the army. Music wasn’t common, let alone dancing. Food tasted all the same. Humans couldn’t be the only ones who enjoyed those things. You figured Frieza not only discouraged those practices, he also expected his soldiers not only to get rid of the inhabitants of the planets he desired, but also their culture.

Shaking your head, trying to get rid of the thoughts in your mind, you washed your face in the bathroom, once you were settled in your room. Wearing makeup was also something you missed, you thought while looking in the mirror. Not like aliens even cared about that.

Once on board, it surprised you how similar the bar on the ship looked like bars on Earth. Pubs and bars were so different on every planet you have visited. But this one had neon lights flashing, in an otherwise dark room. The lack of music was the only thing giving it away. And the people, who weren’t even people, but creatures that didn’t resemble humans, except maybe for a few aliens, whose skin was colored in bright pinks, purples or greens.

“What are the drinks here?” You asked the bartender, as you sat by the counter.

“For tonight’s special, we have fish liquor with purpberry,” The squid-looking creature who tended the bar answered, far more politely than you’d expected. “And a mix of gin, ron and vodka, with blue tint and dragonfruit.”

You must have pulled a face, because he smiled at you while handing you the menu. Knowing what the specials had certainly made you want to get out of there fast.

When you looked at the menu, you realized not bringing your scouter was a bad idea. You haven’t really memorized the universal language yet, you had no idea what most of those drinks even had. You were about to ask the bartender for help again, when you heard someone talk beside you.

“I’ll buy you a drink.”

The man who talked was standing right beside you, smirking and imposing. He was tall, with long hair, and for a second you thought he was human, until you noticed the tail wrapped around his waist. A Saiyan, huh?

You considered turning down his offer, but you haven’t interacted with anyone who looked so close to a human in a long time. Might as well, you didn’t even know what the drinks in that place had.

“Well, my mother told me never to accept anything from a stranger,” You smiled, as charmingly as you could. “Especially if they are an alien.”

“Good thing she is not here.”

He grinned, smug, as he leaned closer to you. You could swear he was sniffing you.

You kept your smile, as you handed him the menu.

“You pay, you choose.”

“Two Fire Missions.” The man said to the bartender, without even looking at the list of drinks. “What’s your name?”

You introduced yourself before asking for his.

“Raditz,” He answered, letting his tail unwrap from his waist and move around. You eyed it, curiously, while he spoke. “I’m surprised to see someone who looks so much like my race here.”

“I could say the same, haven’t talked to anyone that even looks like me.”

“Care to sit with us, then?” Raditz asked, signaling to a table near a window.

Two men were sitting by. They indeed looked human, but you knew they must have had tails, just like Raditz did.

Had this been a situation occurring on Earth, you would have declined in an instant. But you were in a spaceship, with people who weren’t even people. And you were very intentionally hiding how strong you were, your ki being under control at all times. Saiyans were tough, you knew that much, but you could stand up to yourself, if needed.

“Alright,” You agreed, trying not to give it too much thought.

Raditz grabbed the drinks when the bartender handed them to you, as you stood up, walking over the table where the two other men were sitting.

By human standards, these guys were attractive. You gazed at them as Raditz introduced them to you; the man named Nappa was bald and sporting a mustache, and he was even bigger than Raditz; the one named Vegeta had a stern look, with hair spiking upwards. He was glaring at you though, and it unnerved you a bit. Nappa, on the other hand, unashamedly looked at your behind.

“I can see you guys know how to treat women,” You commented after Raditz had introduced you all, looking daggers at him, suppressing the urge to kick him in the face.

“She doesn’t have a tail,” Raditz commented, putting your drink in front of you.

“So what are you?” Nappa asked, grinning.

“I’m human,” You answered.

“A weakling, then.” Vegeta commented with a scorn.

“Charming,” You commented, smiling but throwing a dirty look his way. “I might be human, but I wouldn’t trust your scouters that much.”

“Feisty,” Raditz commented, putting his own scouter on the table, gesturing that he wasn’t going to be using it. “We aren’t here to talk about power levels anyway.”

“Keep it in your pants, Raditz,” Vegeta scoffed.

You snorted at his comment, just as Nappa laughed at Raditz, who took a swig of his drink. Intrigued, you looked at your own glass; it steamed and had a bright red and pink hue. You closed your eyes before taking a sip.

“What the fuck is in this?” You asked, pulling a face. Something was incredibly acidic in it, as if it contained the juice of five lemons.

It was Vegeta's turn to snort at your reaction.

“Five different liquors,” Raditz smirked, drinking like half of his glass in one gulp. “And hydra fruit.”

“I guess that’s the sour taste I feel,” You commented, taking a very small sip this time.

“No wonder your race got extinct,” Vegeta said, mockingly, while looking your way. “You can’t even handle the juice of a common fruit.”

“Wow, you really got an attitude, buddy.”

“Hey, girl,” Nappa said, trying to reroute the conversation, and drinking from his own glass. “You’re from that planet called Earth, right?”

You nodded, side eyeing Vegeta, who glowered at you.

“What fun stuff was there to do on Earth?”

“Oh, lots of stuff!” You replied, content with reminiscing about your life before Frieza. “We had bars, just like this one in almost every corner. The only difference is that there was also loud music and dancing. You could dance all night!”

“We have places like those on most planets,” Raditz commented. “But it was only women dancing.”

“Ah, so those kinds of places exist even in space, huh?” You asked, drinking a little more from your glass. You were slightly over the strong flavor, but you wouldn’t order that drink again. “I guess men are the same all over the universe.”

Both Raditz and Nappa snickered, while Vegeta looked a lot more annoyed than he used to, taking a swig of his glass.

“If all human women looked like you,” Nappa said, eyeing you up and down. “I’m not surprised Earth was filled with places like those.”

You rolled your eyes, but didn’t reply.

The night passed by more amicably than you’d expected. And while you knew both Nappa and Raditz were leering at you, they didn’t really act on it, aside from the occasional comment, so it didn’t bother you.

It caught your attention, however, that at one point, after pulling your hair back over your shoulder to look over a table from the other side of the room (where a fight had just broken out), the look on their faces changed when you turned to them once more. It was like they were in a trance, however briefly; even Vegeta seemed affected. You registered the incident in your head, but didn’t comment on it.

After you finished your drink, you stood up to leave, not really up to finding out how strong the rest of the cocktails available were. You were positive that one glass was already making you a little bit tipsy.

“Leaving already?” Raditz asked, you could sense the disappointment in his voice.

“You should have bought me a lighter drink, maybe I would have stayed for a second round.” You simpered.

Raditz was about to stand up to probably talk you out of leaving, but Vegeta put a firm hand on his shoulder, keeping him in place.

“Let her go,” Vegeta said, with a cold voice. “So we can talk about what’s important.”

You glared at him. You may have had one drink, but the amount of alcohol it had probably affected you a bit, because, while you were annoyed, you couldn’t focus on anything else other than the fact that he was attractive. And he would be even more so if he lost that angry expression on his face.

“You should relax a little, you know?” You said, leaning over the table, feeling three intense pairs of eyes fixed on you. “If you lose that scowl, you’re actually really good looking.”

Both Nappa and Raditz looked completely taken aback by your words, but Vegeta looked confused, raising one eyebrow. You smiled, not really expecting him to reply to you.

“Talk to you guys later.” You said, as you walked out the room.

“Wow, that was something.” Raditz commented, watching you until you were out the door.

“She seems too feeble to have the guts to say that.” Nappa said, amused.

Vegeta grunted, irritated.

“Damn it, Raditz, why did you bring a female to our table?”

“You didn’t think she would say yes to sitting with us, did you?” Raditz grinned, a touch smug. “There aren’t many humans left after Earth was destroyed, she must be lonely too.”

Vegeta heard the two men going on and on about you, but he wasn’t paying attention. He wondered if you realized how your mere presence affected them. Your scent was still lingering in his nostrils, and he took a gulp of his drink, trying to get rid of it, and cursing under his breath when that didn’t work.

Something stirred inside him that he didn’t want to acknowledge. Both Nappa and Raditz could talk about whatever basic needs they had, but not Vegeta. He was beyond that, he wasn’t an animal. Not only that, he was royalty. It was pathetic that they were even thinking of fraternizing with a species so weak like yours. Whatever urge invaded him when your smell intruded on him, he would bury it deep within, so he wouldn’t feel the need to act on it. He could definitely control it.

Vegeta shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He was going to train twice as hard as he usually did tomorrow.

While Nappa and Raditz seemed completely bewitched by you, there was something about Vegeta that caught your eye.

You chuckled to yourself, thinking that a shrink might be able to tell you why you wanted the attention of someone who seemed like a total jackass, instead of other people who were clearly interested in you.

They just wanna get laid, that’s all.

But so did you, to be fair. There weren’t many options on space, and it’s been almost a year since Earth was destroyed. And even before that, you hadn’t been with anyone for months. Might as well be a virgin again.

Still, you had to go for what seemed like the most difficult prey out there.

You sighed loudly, working on fixing one of the tanks in the medical bay. The inside engine had somehow malfunctioned, causing a short circuit, leaving it inoperable. It was an easy thing to fix, or at least for you it was after what Bulma taught you some time ago.

As you adjusted the cables, putting them back in place to check if they worked, you set your mind to maybe try to get Vegeta’s attention. He might be indifferent, but he was still a man. Maybe you could stir something in him.

You left the medical bay after fixing the tank, walking to your room with resolve, after you set your mind on your new target.

You got to the bar earlier than the day before, just to see with your scouter what all the cocktails had, so you wouldn’t fall for whatever weird taste the saiyans had when it came to alcohol. You sat by the counter, meticulously reading the menu, when you felt a familiar presence approaching you.

“Raditz.” You acknowledged him without taking your eyes off the card.

“Hey, girl.” He greeted you, standing on your right side, leaning over the counter so he could see your face. “Up for another Fire Mission?”

“No way, I’m never having that again in my life.”

“Didn’t think you’d back out that easily.”

“One full glass yesterday was enough.” You looked up at him with a smile. “Don’t worry, I’ll still drink something.”

“How about I invite you something this time?” Nappa had taken a seat to your left, and you turned to look at him.

“I get to choose my drink.”

Nappa grinned, and you ordered a Cherry Lane. You found it nice that it had the name as one of the cocktails on Earth.

You felt a little awkward sitting in between Nappa and Raditz, who were very obviously ogling you. You also felt a little bad (but only a little), because you had no intention of giving them the time of day, even if they buy you drinks. At least not until Vegeta turned you down explicitly. But you hadn’t even made your move yet.

Standing a little farther away besides Raditz, you saw him from the corner of your eye.

“Hi, Vegeta.” You singsang, leaning over the counter to fully look at him.

Vegeta seemed a little taken aback by the tone of your voice, and furrowed his eyebrows when you beamed at him.

“Have you considered what I said yesterday? About relaxing?”

“Mind your business, woman.”

“Too bad,” You hummed, pouting. “I would have helped you with that.”

Vegeta was just about to drink from whatever he had ordered when you said that, and it was a priceless moment when you saw him splutter.

Nappa and Raditz had eyes like saucers, shocked at your unashamed attitude. You covered your mouth, trying to stifle the laugh that almost erupted. The comment wasn’t even that straightforward, you are surprised he was that flustered.

“Who do you think you are talking to, woman?!” Vegeta yelled, pink dust adorning his cheeks. “I’m a Prince, show some decorum!”

“Prince?” You asked, confused.

“The Prince of all Saiyans.”

You couldn’t deny you were surprised. The air of superiority around him made sense now.

“Now I get why you are so tense.” You said, smiling. “All the more reason why you should take up my offer.”

Vegeta was practically seething, his entire face red and up to his ears. You had to fight hard not to laugh. You knew he could snap his fingers and you would combust, completely ceasing to exist if he so desired. But if that was how you were going down, at least you got a good laugh.

You noticed Nappa and Raditz had taken a step back, probably bracing themselves in case Vegeta decided you were annoying enough to be killed at that moment.

“Relax,” You spoke up, holding the drink that was put in front of you. “I’m only joking.”

“You are insane, girl.” Vegeta growled, still flushing a little.

You snickered, pleased with yourself.

The fact that you were alive afterwards made you ponder the idea that maybe he wasn’t as indifferent to you as you originally thought.

Vegeta should have obliterated you. At least that’s what he thought he should have done.

Something primal had awakened in him. A tingling feeling in the lower abdomen. He hated it. Vegeta loved to think he had every emotion in check, but if he was being honest with himself, he hadn’t felt like that in a long time, and feeling it because of someone who was so brash wasn’t something he wanted. Especially someone who was working under Frieza, just like himself. And even worse, a human.

In the past, if Vegeta had to let out the pent up energy that overwhelmed him, he did it anonymously. In some far off planet, where he wouldn’t even have to say who he was before fucking. If he were to cave this time, he would lose that. It was risky, he didn’t know your intentions. Could you really be as indecent as you presented yourself to be? And why just for him? Two other men were obviously trying to catch your eye, so why him?

New energy was flowing within him; he could feel his blood boil, and his muscles tensed with every minute he spent in the training room. The training room in the spaceship he shared with you. It made his routine both unbearable and convenient, which he thought would actually prove to be useful if he could achieve a new level of power. But sometimes the feeling in his gut distracted him, and his disturbance would show up on his body as a bruise, courtesy of Nappa or Raditz’ attacks. They never managed to actually bruise him until then.

Vegeta clenched and unclenched his fists, cursing under his breath as he left the training room after being in there for hours. His two henchmen must have probably hated him, since he was letting all his frustration out on them. Not that he cared. In any case, they deserved it for being so lecherous every time you were around.

He furrowed at the thought. It did bother him how unrefined they were around you, but their attitude hadn’t bothered him that much before this situation occurred.

With a grunt, Vegeta resolved to keep his training as intense for the rest of the trip.

You barely even saw Vegeta the next couple of days. Which you thought was odd, but then again, you weren’t going that much to the bar on the ship as much since they assigned you to monitor the radio for two days.

You still felt his ki in the middle of the ship, sometimes along with Raditz’s or Nappa’s. The man spent most of the day there. You wondered if he had a goal in mind or if he was simply insane. For what you knew, Saiyans were a warrior race; it made sense for him to be obsessed with getting stronger. Even so, he was the only one of the trio to spend so much time in the training room.

When you walked into the bar after a few days, you found Raditz, sitting by himself, and sporting a couple of bruises on his arms and legs.

“You look great,” You commented, sarcastically, sitting across from him and taking a gulp from your glass.

“Aren’t you a sweetheart,” Raditz smiled, as smug as always, but you noticed the tiredness in his expression.

“What happened to you?”

“Vegeta wants to train more than usual.” He said, flatly.

“Why?”

Raditz looked at you, hesitant to reply.

“Something must be bothering him.”

He leaned closer to you after a beat, putting the drink he was holding on the side.

“Maybe you should help me ease this ache.”

You looked at him for a second, letting the words settle in your brain, when you felt something soft and furry running along your thigh. You saw his tail sliding up your leg, and you didn’t get a chance to say anything when a gruff voice spoke behind you.

“Get lost, Raditz.”

Vegeta was standing right behind you when you looked over your shoulder, and you swore you heard him growl, however vague.

The two of them stared at each other for a moment until Raditz sighed loudly before getting up.

“See you later, doll.”

You watched him walk away, and Vegeta was sitting across from you in less than a second.

“I’m surprised you decided to sit with me.” You smiled, leaning into your hand.

He didn’t reply, only offering you a quick glance, before taking a hearty swig from whatever drink he had on his glass, and then crossing his arms over his chest.

“You’re spending too much time in the training room.”

This time, he fixed his eyes on you, brows furrowed.

“Raditz didn’t tell me, I figured it out on my own.”

“Don’t you have anything better to do with your time?”

“Not really, you’re far more interesting than anything else I could be doing.”

Even through the faint neon lights in the room, you noticed the faint pink color on his cheeks.

“Do you have no shame, woman?”

“I didn’t say anything inappropriate. You should loosen up a bit.”

“I do not need to ‘loosen up’, but you seem way too insistent that I do.” Vegeta cocked an eyebrow in your direction.

“You just seem like you have a lot in your mind, that’s all.” You grinned at him, absentmindedly running your fingers through your hair, and pulling it over your shoulder.

“Stop doing that.”

You eyed him, curiously. Vegeta’s eyes were closed, and his brows furrowed deeper than before. He looked at you then, almost wincing.

“What? Why?”

“You are basically letting every male in this ship know that you are available for breeding.”

You stared at him, confused.

“W-what?”

“Your smell. You are spreading it.”

You pondered on what he said for a minute before talking.

“Are you telling me that I’m practically attracting men by simply touching my hair? And that I smell?”

“Every single being has a smell,” Vegeta replied, contemptuous. “You just happen to be a fertile female.”

You were a bit spooked, but it didn’t sound too crazy considering the things you’ve witnessed in the last year. In retrospect, you understood the meaning of Vegeta, Nappa and Raditz’s expression back on the first night you met them. You affected them without even knowing.

You smiled at him, mischievously, and waited until he brought the glass to his lips.

“You’re lucky I’m just coming onto you then.”

Vegeta spluttered, for the second time in front of you, and you snickered. It was funny he emanated such a hostile aggressive aura, but at the same time could be so easily flustered.

“Do you have a death wish, woman?!”

“Maybe. But you haven’t really harmed me.”

He glowered at you, and you returned his stare, though much more softer.

“I’m not asking you to ‘breed’ me or whatever it was that you said.” You leaned in closer, smiling. “This is just for fun.”

Vegeta was practically growling at you. Your instincts were telling you it wasn’t wise for you to rile him up so much. You knew he could kill you. But he didn’t look nearly as angry as he could have been if the situation really pissed him off.

“And I think you want this, too.” You said softly, maintaining eye contact.

“Know your place, woman. I’m not easily swayed by a female, especially a human.”

“But you seem so affected every time I say something remotely suggestive.” You grinned.

“That- that’s because your indecency baffles me! Are all humans that shameless?” He snarled.

You shrugged, taking a swig of your own drink.

“What an odd species…” He muttered, before drinking from his glass.

You huffed, amused.

“We might look similar, but humans are not warriors per se.”

“Obviously.”

“We did spend a lot of our time on Earth fighting each other, though. But we enjoyed ourselves most of the time. The food was a lot better there than it is on any other planet I went to, that’s for sure.”

You smiled at him, taking a final gulp from your glass.

“If you are interested in what else we did ‘for fun’, I’m sure you know how to find me.”

Vegeta’s face remained stoic as you stood, strolling your way out.

Once you were out, you hummed, content that at least you had a somewhat normal conversation, at least as normal as you could expect with Vegeta.

You walked a few feets, until you barely could hear the voices coming from the bar, when you were pushed against the wall.

“Ve-Vegeta?” You gasped, bewildered.

His hand was on your throat, keeping you in place with a strong grip, but not hard enough to choke you. His gaze burned through you, and you suddenly felt very small.

“You don’t look so feisty now.” His voice was low, and his eyes darker than you remembered.

“Well, I… I wasn’t expecting to be attacked like this…” You stuttered, as Vegeta released your neck, placing his arms on either side of you, caging you against the wall.

“Pathetic.” He snorted.

“What do you want?” You glared at him when he insulted you, pursing your lips.

Inching closer to you, Vegeta remained silent.

You certainly weren’t ready to have him so close so suddenly, especially when you haven’t even felt him approaching you before he slammed you against the wall. Anyone could walk by and see you even if the hallway was poorly lit, though you didn’t feel anyone’s ki nearby; not that you trusted yourself much at the moment. But, surprisingly, you didn’t care. Especially when Vegeta was so close; you were positive he could feel that your heart was beating unusually fast.

His cheek brushed your own, as he made his way to the crook of your neck, and you never felt hotter. He runned the tip of his nose up your neck, inhaling deeply and making you shudder. Immediately you felt heat blooming in your lower abdomen, a sensation you haven’t felt in a while. You could feel his breath continuously hitting your skin, and his body so close but barely touching you, and after a beat you started feeling a little awkward, but still very much turned on.

“I thought you weren’t ‘easily swayed by a female’.” You managed to say, gulping.

“Shut up.” He was almost heaving when he replied, but it caught your attention.

Vegeta sounded like he was being restrained, like he was using everything in his willpower to not do something. It occurred to you that maybe he was far more interested in you than he let on.

“Do you want me?” You asked, in the softest voice you could muster.

You felt his body go completely stiff.

“I could kill you.”

Those words sounded like a threat, but something in his voice was telling you otherwise. Yet you couldn’t quite pinpoint what he meant.

“Why haven’t you then?”

He didn’t reply, and you took it as a sign to keep talking, exploring your brain and looking for the right words to say.

“This doesn’t have to mean anything. We would just… be letting out the energy we can’t release otherwise.”

“I am not an animal.”

You snorted, starting to feel a little more on the angry side.

“And yet you are practically panting by just smelling me.”

He pulled away, glaring at you through hooded lids. He was a little flushed down his neck, at least as far as the suit under his armor let you see.

“Are you toying with me, woman?”

“Vegeta,” You whispered, exasperated. “I’m explicitly telling you I want to sleep with you, and you’re being so dense about it.”

“Vu-vulgar woman, how dare you?” The flush on his neck had extended towards his face then, and it amused you. He certainly didn’t look as scandalized as you’d expected.

“I know you must be frustrated about a lot of things, why else would you be practically living in the training room? I am simply offering a way for you to let out any kind of energy you might have, I can see that you want to.”

You smiled at him, looking intensely into his eyes, as his face somehow softened, just a little, by your words.

“And I want the exact same thing.” You purred, with a voice as smooth as you could manage in that moment, so he wouldn’t have a doubt in his mind that you were serious.

No matter how bold you felt when you spoke those words (maybe an effect of the strong space alcohol you had earlier), you still felt very small, pressed in between the wall and Vegeta, as if the spaceship had somehow shrunk, encapsulating you two together.

However, looking into his eyes, you saw something much darker invade them, and you heard Vegeta’s breath hitch in his throat.

One of his hands tangled in your hair, pulling you closer, and he kissed you.

You gasped, taken aback. The way he pressed his lips against yours was rough, like he was starving for a taste of them. After the second it took you to fully understand that Vegeta was, in fact, kissing you, you returned it just as hungrily, resting your hands over his armor.

Tentatively, you flicked your tongue over his lips, moaning into his mouth when he parted his lips immediately, and you shuddered when he started roaming your mouth with his tongue, as if he wanted to devour you whole. Vegeta swiftly wrapped his other arm around your waist, his hand tugging at the shirt underneath your armor, pressing you against his body, at the same time you wrapped your arms around his neck, tangling one of your hands into his hair.

It was as if you were ravenous, eagerly sliding your lips wetly across each other’s. Your skin felt like it was burning when he slid his hand underneath your shirt, and you tugged at his hair, making him groan. You were very aware that he was hard, incredibly so, when he gripped your hip, pressing you flush against his body.

You gasped for air when he pulled back, licking and kissing at your jaw instead.

“Vegeta…” You moaned, breathless.

It took you a moment to realize he had completely stiffen after you whimpered his name, and immediately afterwards you felt cold.

Just like that, he was gone.

#dbz fics #dbz imagine #dbz fanfiction #vegeta x reader #vegeta #dbz #my writing

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ivyblossom · 2 years

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Building ADHD Coping Strategies

I was diagnosed very late in life (I was 44), so I stumbled upon some strategies for coping with ADHD without knowing that's what I was doing. A late diagnosis is both immensely frustrating and kind of like winning a weird award at the same time. I live with regret about my lost "potential" and a lifetime of firebombing of my own goals, and wondering what I might have managed to accomplish by now if I'd known I was different, but I also get to have a not-insignificant amount of pride about what I've managed to accomplish in spite of having a fucked up brain.

To address the usual assumptions: no, my ADHD wasn't missed because I have "girl ADHD" or a milder, less disruptive version. I have severe, hyperactive-impulsive ADHD. Then as now, girls aren't given the same benefit of the doubt that boys so often are. Also, since ADHD is almost always inherited, my behaviour and struggles were never considered weird or concerning to my mother or to my grandmother, to whom my behaviour was completely familiar, so they weren't going to flag any of it as anything other than normal.

The first thing a diagnosis gives us is permission to take care of ourselves the way we need to. There were lots of things I would like to have done to help myself complete tasks, but they look to others like going overboard or overthinking things, and people always tell me that I'm going too far, so I didn't allow my coping mechanisms be what they needed to be. The diagnosis lets me ignore those criticisms and hesitations. All ADHD hacks and coping strategies seem like "too much" to other people, so I have accepted that that criticism is meaningless and ableist, and I let myself ignore it. That alone is probably one of the best reasons to get a formal diagnosis, and the best coping strategy I have.

If something I try fails, I begin with the assumption that the issue is a missing step in the process, not that I just didn't try hard enough. Self-blame is useless and an obstacle. If a process requires me to try harder, it's a broken process. The goal is to create systems that guide me towards success and feel easy and seamless, and blaming myself doesn't help me get there. I feel badly about hurting other people or letting them down, but I have stopped blaming myself. The problem was never that I didn't care or wasn't trying hard enough. It's just the wrong systems and missing steps. Instead of feeling guilty, I apologize and explain to the person I've harmed how I'm working to avoid repeating my mistake. They can accept that or not.

One of the additional complications of ADHD is that it impacts all the executive functions, and the ability to recognize that you're struggling with a task and why requires several of those. So one of the things I've accepted is that it's okay that I don't know why I'm struggling with something. I have spent my life making up reasons for my fuck ups that feel true, but that doesn't mean they are. I've embraced the fact that not understanding why something is hard or why something failed only means I don't understand how my deficits are at play in this situation yet, and I shouldn't make assumptions about what will and won't work. Now I try to design solutions based on a few core elements where I know I have deficits and see how it goes.

Having a deficit that impacts executive function means a person with ADHD will likely not recognize or be able to see their own symptoms. I never once even considered that I might have ADHD before the age of 40, and even then I only identified with the executive function issues, not "attention deficit". I do not have an attention deficit, and I have never felt distracted. I am always laser-focused on something, it's just that that what that is can change every 30 seconds (or not change for 30 hours) without me noticing. I can only recognize "distraction" (getting pushed off task by following an impulse) when medicated. If I could see that task-shift happening, I could choose to stop it and stay on task, but without medication, I can't. ADHD is a form of inner blindness, a struggle with self-awareness and limited tool set for self-control. So another way to cope is to accept that you don't know what you don't know, and parts of you are on an auto-pilot. But you can connect with yourself to recognize, understand, and control all of these things. It just looks weird when you do it. And that's okay.

Externalizing Habit Formation

I go with the assumption that I can't form habits. It's possible I can, but I find it more useful to assume I can't. If I can't form habits, then I need to find other ways to get habitual things accomplished regularly without needing to remember to do them, and without needing to think about it. I have externalized every habit I can, and I keep adding more. Externalizing basic stuff means I waste no energy trying to remember to do them, so I save my brain for bigger things.

I've found that the first task in any strategy is planning ahead, as much as that's an agonizing concept to wrap my head around. 9 times out of 10, if something doesn't work, it's because there's another, more basic plan missing that I need first. Like can't plan meals without having a list of meals I like handy. I can't do the recall and the planning at the same time. But that's okay: I can just keep lists of meals once I know I need that.

I build my habits in a spreadsheet, beginning with the things I wish I were doing and when, and guessing how much time they take. This is how I learned that I need 90 minutes to have the morning I want to have, and for years I gave myself 20 minutes to do it. And I wondered why that wasn't working!

My future self is like a floppy puppy, and I need to give that floppy puppy some structure to keep her going in the direction she wants to be going in. I need the floppy puppy to be a) rested, b) clean, c) clothed, d) fed on a schedule so that she can tackle the unplanned tasks of the day at her best, so I lay the groundwork so that the basics will be covered without her having to think about or remember to do any of it. For normal people this is just being an adult, but I am not normal people, so my process is different.

Figuring out what habits I should have sounds easy, but it's harder than I thought. I have spent many hours designing and testing ideal routines (morning, evening, weekly, etc.), and it quickly realized that not only was I expecting to just magically do all these things without planning or a prompt before now, I wasn't even completely sure what I wanted or needed to do at any given time, so no wonder I wasn't reliably doing any of it. Determining how to offload "habits" and design prompts for them instead is an ongoing task.

To outsource habit-formation, I designed programmed audio and light prompts in daily and weekly routines via smart speakers that I keep in every room of my home. I find audio more powerful than visual screen prompts, and designing them as routines means they are regular and continuous and don't require intervention from me. In sum, I program rooms to remind me what I should be doing, and to adjust the lighting accordingly. So lights will go off in rooms I shouldn't be in, and go on in rooms i should be.

Anything I want to do habitually (like wash my face, brush my teeth, take a shower, eat breakfast, prep my lunch, plan dinner, wash my sheets, etc.) I plan and program a timed, daily or weekly prompt for. There are really no limits on this. I started by building a morning routine of prompts to keep me on task in the mornings, and then an evening routine (lay out clothes for tomorrow, get tomorrow's dinner out of the freezer, etc.) I keep building more of them as time goes on. Not only does it keep me from having to remember what I need to do, it adds texture to time and helps me recognize that time is passing.

Sometimes just these reminder isn't enough. I have learned that sometimes, to keep myself on schedule, I need to disrupt my hyperfocus. Figuring out how to do that is a task in itself. I use smart plugs on all my lamps so that I can set them to switch off on a schedule. I have created a playlist to start playing when I should be switching tasks (and getting ready for bed). Finally, I created a routine to cut power to my TV at a certain time. I can switch it back on, but it's enough work that it shakes me out of a pointless next-episode loop if I'm in one. One of the most useful things I've done to help me get out of bed in the mornings is set the whole thing to start 5 minutes earlier than then giving myself the option to ignore it for 5 minutes. For some reason that works. Possibly it just stages the transition? Not sure.

I've recently learned that getting myself to make my bed the moment I get out of it is a good way to avoid getting back into it. Also, it makes my room look nice. Which leads me to...

Filling Necessary Tasks with Tiny Joys

In retrospect I can see that one of my first coping mechanisms is using enthusiasm to motivate myself. I can create enthusiasm about almost anything, and once I'm enthusiastic, I'm more likely to follow through on a task. I find deadlines and stress too stressful a motivator, so I opted with joy and delight instead.

I try to add elements of delight to things I need to do. A shower filled with products that don't make me smile isn't a shower I'll avoid exactly, but it's not one I'll be pleased to jump into. So I put time and energy into finding out what shampoo and soap that I love. I let myself have scent obsessions. For a while I wanted everything to smell like desserts, but at the moment I'm into citrus. Is this silly? Yes. But I indulge it because it's part of making necessary tasks easier to do.

I need to get myself to bed on time, so making my bedroom delightful is another indulgence to allow myself without guilt. That means paying attention to the aesthetics, and also to textures. I need to have clean sheets, and I need to have sheets I love that feel amazing. Currently really into silky bamboo sheets. And I will reject a laundry detergent, even if it's a full bottle, if the smell of it doesn't make me happy. Wasteful? Yes. But I will indulge myself in these ways because it's part of the joy-forward plan.

I have struggled with breakfast for years, but have now solved it, partly just by making time for it, and partly by properly planning for it, but also by making it as delightful as a can. I've been making myself a honey latte using this very bougie honey + bee pollen honey I found at the market, and do I ever look forward to that latte! It's a weird flex to see your fuck ups and respond by rewarding yourself, but I've found that joy and delight yields better results than any form of deprivation or punishment, and it's results I'm after.

Externalizing Working Memory and Recall

My life is littered with evidence that I have a limited working memory, but the concept of working memory is relatively opaque to us. What's the difference between short-term memory and working memory? How does recall fit in? Don't ask me! All I know is that I need to externalize more than I think I do, so when things go pear-shaped, I try externalizing more information to see if it helps.

One of the ways I've externalized information relates to food. I have a long history of planning meals, buying all kinds of lovely ingredients, and then letting them rot in my fridge. I've deduced that part of the problem is that when I'm tired and thinking about other things, I don't have the capacity to mentally go back into that plan and pull out the idea for this meal. That's too much mental work for me at that point in the day. (Could I conjure up an entire novel's worth of plot? Yes! But remembering what I had planned to eat for dinner? Nope.) Even opening the fridge might not trigger my recall. So now I have a whiteboard on my fridge where I write what meals I planned for the day so that I don't have to remember. It's always easier for me to pick from a list than the recall anything. So I give myself lists when I need them.

My most Helpful Purchases (so far)

Electric kettle: one that switches itself off. That way, if you forget you put the kettle on, no harm done.

Smart speakers: I use Alexa devices, but apple and google devices work basically the same way. You can build routines and have them triggered by command, or time, or proximity, etc. I haven't needed to use IFTTT to accomplish anything yet, but I'm ready to. I use my phone all the time, but I also abandon it randomly, so I find apps less useful for controlling my behaviour than audio and light signals in my home. Most of my habits happen in my home anyway.

Magnetic Whiteboards: for my fridge. I have two little ones.

Robovac: Somehow I'm just more likely to let Kyle my robovac run loose than I am to vaccum myself.

Solid shampoo and conditioner: it's less plastic and better for the environment, but mainly I use solid shampoo and conditioner because I can have a year's worth of it in my bathroom without looking like a hoarder. I have a tendency to hoard things I fear forgetting to have with me. Solid shampoo is small and lasts a long time if you let it air out properly. I stack a year's worth of them in a vase in my bathroom. It looks pretty and it smells nice, but it's actually there because I fear forgetting to buy shampoo and running out. This way I literally can't run out, and when I get to the point where I only have 6 months' worth, the vase doesn't look at pretty, so I re-stock months before I have to.

Multiple laundry baskets: You need as many laundry baskets as you sort into. If you do lights and darks, you need two. If you do lights, darks, and hot water wash, you need three. One laundry basket with three classes of item inside means more thinking required to do laundry, and that's an obstacle. So multiple laundry baskets.

Weekly pill dispenser: I currently take 6 pills in the morning. That seems like a lot, but it's really very mundane: 2 prescriptions (one is two pills to reach the right dose), an antihistamine, vitamin D, and black kohosh. That is too many pills for me to manage individually first thing in the morning. It was too many pills when it was 3 pills. That's too much faffing around, I won't do it consistently, or I won't do it properly more often than not. So I dispense my 6 daily pills into a weekly dispenser. I dispense each day's worth all at once into a beautiful earthenware egg cup, pop them all into my mouth in one go the moment I wake up, and then drink water from a matching beautiful earthenware cup. This means a) I don't need to remember to take them all, and I don't even notice how many of them I'm taking, 6 is the same as 1, b) I can easily add or subtract pills without altering my routine, c) there is beauty involved in the tools and that pleases me, d) I can confirm whether or not I took my pills that day because the dispenser has 7 slots in it.

Wireless phone charger: Why plug your phone in when you could create a home for your phone where a) you know where it is, and b) it charges?

Key dish: I keep my keys in a special dish (next to my wireless phone charger) to avoid the time and stress playing "the key game", where you try to remember where you put your bloody keys. I spent weeks deciding exactly what dish I needed it to be. I ended up getting a on-the-verge-of-hideous second hand candy dish made by a now-defunct factory where my family would visit in the summer, and the weird bowl on display in that borrowed cottage. So it reminds me of happy childhood memories. I love that ugly dish. The fact that it's meaningful seems trite, but that the meaningfulness helps me to remember to put my keys in it. Looking at it gives me happy memories, which helps me to remember to use it, and to remember where my keys are.

Valet stand: this is a piece of furniture. It has a shelf, rail, and a whatsit that looks like a hanger, a thing you could hang a jacket on. They make valet chairs as well and I want one. I use a valet stand to put my next day's clothes on. It's a place to put them, but also a reminder that I need to suit it up before I got to bed. It looks so refined, and it's better than hanging things off my dresser, I figure.

More to come!

#well this is long #adhd coping strategies #I just wanted to document these somewhere

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tama1313 · 1 year

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(HNK spoilers!) Trying to explain why nobody likes Aechmea...

Disclaimer: Everytime I criticize something, I already expect someone to comes after me, telling "You shouldn't consume medias you clearly don't like!!" I DO love HNK! I love the characters, the plot, the meaning behind! If I didn't like it, I wouldn't be here, wasting my precious time at writing this.

After this premise, let's start!

(I apologize in advantages for this wall of words, but I need to say something...)

So, it's pretty obvious that at least the 95% of the active fandom doesn't like Aechmea and hoped for a punshment for his actions (that never happened)

Yet at least a big part of that group likes/enjoy the meaning and the plot of HNK, so it's also pretty obvious that the main problem is not in the storywriting, but into Aechmea and the Lunarians'.

One of the main themes of this manga is the criticism about the myth of being immortal, and tbh that's one of the things I like the most about hnk: the fact that we have plenty of representations throught the characters how being immortal is often only tiredsome and doesn't give any actual advantage, is something really interesting and often overlooked in any other medias (as far as I know).

I know a similar topic can be hard to discuss, expecially due to the many different cultures around the world, but there's nothing wrong to test/uses overlooked topics for your story! It can make it original and feeling "fresh" unlike many other more famous medias. Same goes with having morally grey characters (90% of character in hnk)!

However, to make everything works together fine, an hard work is needed otherwise most of the pubblic won't enjoy the final product (or at least, they'll feel dissatisfied).

And this is exactly what happened to the Lunarians character concept:

In just a few words, what we know about them is that they are the remains of human souls, that overtime got tired of this and all they want is simply stopping to exist (here's the whole thing about the praying machine, becoming nothing, etc...).

As said before, hnk criticize very much this topic, hence it's easy to understand Aechmeas's reasons... but only rationally

Rationally, any of us has understood what the author wanted to tell us about the lunarians, yet none of us like them as characters...

This is due the fact that the character of Aechmea lacks of simpathy: during the course of the story, besides a few pages where he tells the lunarians' past, there aren't any other events to make us, the pubblic, feeling simpathetic toward him and rooting for his action.

The lunarian are meant to be "misunderstood villains"?? You as the author must work on this so us the pubblic can feel it emotionally

This may seems meaningless but it's actually very important in the storytelling, even if said character doesn't represent the morals!

The main reason why people consumes medias nowadays is to find something to relate to (which can be characters, situatuions, backstories, etc...) otherwise medias such as cinemas, comics, mangas, etc... wouldn't be so popular

The only exceptions to this are the unmorally villains (the ones that commits so many disgusting actions that no one on earth could like them. Examples: Ozai from ATLA, The Emperor from Star Wars, Niragi from Alice in Borderland, etc...), but to this case, again, there should have happened more events that make us like Aechmea and Co.

Another important theme that follows strictly the main plot is the "unability to leave the past behind to try something new" therefore the Lunarians are also meant to be somehow the final solution to get free the gems from their phisical/"flawed bodies", but there wasn't anything that I could actually like about this:

the gems that should have represented the theme of "breaking free" better (Dia, Cairn, etc...) instead of getting better as characters, their development only got worse at the point to ending up being hated by most of the pubblic (Dia only joined the massacre of the other gems not even to help Phos, but only to have some emotional revenge over Bort. Cairn got only selfish, bragging and uncaring toward everyone, after they got "freed" from "Ghost's control". You can't tell me these are good things)

The only "escaped gem" that shows some likability throught their action is Benitoite (who should be only a boring secondary character) by trying to save the gem that they despise (an that in my opinion has a far stronger/deeper meaning that anything else having to do with the other gems, beside Padpa and Yellow development, ofc!) and this is very ironic, knowing that they had little screentime than the others.

The whole things about all the gems that didn't joined as lunarian at first now wants to become like them, sounds very iffy to me too (much like they were "forced/manipulated" by the others. You know, the "since everybody do this, I'm doing it too" trope, which is really contrasting with the theme that this story wants to show)

Lunarians are meant to be human, but ironically the "actual villains" (Kongo and Euclase) show to be much more humans than them (the unability/pain to not let go the past is a very human feeling and even if they are in the wrong, we are still able to like them at least a bit), which is something that lack in Aechmea's character:

On top of this, he is also full of contraddictions: he grinds all the gems he caught, but later he is seen even being actracted by them, at the point of keeping Ghost's arm and flirting with Phos and Cairn. He is shown to welcome the Admirabilis when they are in desperate need, but later he does agree with Phos to kidnap and uses them to collect all the gems shard (I'm not too sure about this point, because I don't remember very much that part, so feel free to correct me). And I'm pretty sure there are other topics/ about this.

In general, he should have been the "desperate anti-hero", the only certain thing about him is his manipulatoy behaviour and his obsession with the final goal (interrupted sometimes only by he and Cairn's cringey flirting), and this is not enough to deserve to be eradicated from the reality with anyone else.

The ending is acceptable, but Aechmea's fate is not. No matter how strong I try to accept it rationally: it doesn't feels right!

The Phos's character development is a different kind of this: the meaning of "you tried to satisfy everyone, you ended up being alone" and "you are perfect as you are, no need to fit with everyone" is not only true, but allows the pubblic to simphatyze with our protagonist very much. Phos is simpathetic! And it's very easy to see ourself in them: from us, people phisically/mentally disable that have this internal pain of not feeling accepted by the others, to simply people that are "different" and wants to be recognized as valid ("different" meaning anything that doesn't hurt anyone. Don't get me wrong).

Therefore I still love HNK ending despise everything and Phos has officially become one of my favourite protagonists ever!

Perhaps, the only right thing that could have been done with Aechmean, would have been that, while all the others become nothing, he being locked forever in a human body made out of flesh, bone and blood, able to decompose but unable to die (much like Rock's fate from Warriors Cats)

(Maybe this is a bit too sadistic, but for sure I would have liked it more)

Ok, I'm done! Once again, sorry for this wall of words and if you disagree with me or have other thoughts, let me know through reblog or comment

#houseki no kuni #hnk #houseki no kuni spoilers #hnk spoilers #aechmea #land of the lustrous #phosphophillyte #Hnk aechmea #Cairngorm #Dia hnk #phos hnk #spoilers #Tama's thought

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lisbeth-snape · 22 days

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So I translated the 3th part of my ff so enjoy<3

I think I'll be updating every week, feel free to comment or leave some feedback

"The Curse" by Lissu

Part 3: was he... Gentle?

"Finally, done," Col said contentedly as his potion changed color to the appropriate one after he had stirred it counterclockwise for the last minute.

"You took quite a while," I remarked, describing my elixir on parchment paper that I intended to attach to the flask.

"If only dragonfly eyes weren't slipping out of the mortar and onto the bench the whole time, I would have been much faster," he said irritably, while Sophie and Lucy laughed. "Snape did say it's best to crush them with the side of the knife," they continued laughing, though I wasn't finding it amusing. I wanted nothing more than to clean up the messy classroom tonight instead of being at the welcome party in the common room. I sighed heavily and raised my hand, waiting for the professor to notice me.

"Yes?" he grunted, looking into my eyes, sending a shiver down my spine."I'm finished," I replied, lowering my hand.

"Put it on the desk and leave, you don't have to make meaningless noise and inform me of such matters," I apologized as he issued the command, and I immediately complied. "Goodbye, professor. Bye," I said the second sentence softly, passing by my friends, indicating that I would wait outside the door in the corridor.

The next lesson was supposed to be Transfiguration, which I wasn't worried about at all, knowing that, immodestly speaking, I was really good at it. However, I realized I couldn't rely solely on my own intuition of my abilities, so I began reviewing the Gamp's Laws note, studying each one in turn. I smirked at the thought of what Soap did last year while transforming a bird into a goblet. Due to a slip-up, her transfiguration didn't fully succeed, and it ended up with a bird covered in glass feathers, flapping them in panic, trying to fly away but being too heavy, and the glass shards from its wings flew into the bodies of the nearest students. If it weren't for Professor McGonagall's quick reaction, it could have ended terribly, and the poor creature could have suffered longer. Since then, Soap has been panicking at the thought of those classes. For the whole month after that incident, she dreamt every night of the terrified animal, causing her immense guilt and fear of doing it again to any other creature. As I snapped out of my thoughts, I reached for the "Transfiguration Guide for Advanced" textbook, thinking it would be the last textbook I'd use for this subject, and began browsing through it. I briefly recalled the material, and Colton left the room.

"Disaster!" he exclaimed loudly. "I made a small mistake, and he told me to rewrite the entire potion description from the beginning instead of just letting me cross it out and write it next to it," he sat down, annoyed. "My hand hurts from all this writing," he continued, rubbing his wrist. "He's such a jerk" I whispered as if afraid he might hear me. "I'm afraid of what grade I'll get. I don't think I made any mistakes, but he can nitpick about literally anything," he said honestly.

"I don't even dare to hope he'll give me a good grade for it. I completely forgot to filter it; I only realized it when I was already handing it over to him, and I noticed that only my potion had sediment at the bottom of the bottle," he grabbed his head and leaned over his knees, and I felt sorry for him. This mistake could have gone unnoticed anywhere else, but not with Snape.

"Maybe it won't be so bad," I tried to comfort him, although I didn't believe it myself. I hugged him and tried to continue. "It could have been worse; everything could have just exploded on you," I chuckled lightly. "Or I could have ended up with a detention like you," he scoffed, and I hit him on the arm. "It's a shame you won't be on the party tonight. The prefects were supposed to get us butterbeer from the Hogsmeade and stuff" I sighed. "Maybe Snape will treat me kindly," I looked at Colton, and we laughed together, and the door next to us opened, and a group of Hufflepuffs came out, including Lucy, who sat next to me and started apologizing.

"I really didn't want you to get detention because of me, I really hope he didn't hear what I said, and—" I grabbed her hands to stop her from picking at the skin around her nails, seeing they were starting to bleed. "Calm down, Lu," I looked into her eyes.

"It wasn't your fault, just yesterday—" and at that moment, Soap came out, asking what we were talking about, seeing how focused and close we were sitting.

"I was about to talk about seeing something strange yesterday, but we need to go somewhere else," I got up from the bench under the classroom and started walking to a quieter place at the end of one of the corridors, and the whole trio followed me. "No one will hear us here," Colton said, and Sophie squealed, "Just don't say anything, Lucy. We know you have a loose tongue; the whole school knows I ate soap when I was little thanks to you." "It's not my fault, someone asked me, and I told a few people, and they—" the blonde interrupted her. "An has something to say," I looked at him and began, "this morning I couldn't sleep, so I decided to get myself together and study in the Great Hall before breakfast, but as I was walking down the corridor, I saw Snape heading to the dungeons. He was covered in blood and looked quite injured," I spoke cautiously, looking around to make sure no one was listening, after all, we were in Slytherin territory. "So, the rumors are true? Did he had the Dark Mark?" I nodded, confirming.

"He must have been at the Death Eaters' meeting!" Lucy exclaimed at Sophie's question, and she grabbed her. "Don't squeal; someone might hear you, panicky."

"We all can't panic," Colton added, looking at each of us in turn. "We don't know if it's true," I wanted to reassure myself, talking to them. "We need to look into it better—"

"But we have more important matters now," I said, showing the Transfiguration textbook, listening to Soap sigh and say, "oh no." "It'll be okay, girl. You said you reviewed all the books and notes over the summer," "yes, but I'm still terribly afraid something will go wrong," Lucy interrupted our conversation, saying she's leaving us because she has to run to Herbology in the greenhouses on the lawns. We said goodbye to her and left the dungeons straight to McGonagall's class, still discussing what I saw in the morning.

The lesson of transmutation went unusually smoothly. McGonagall decided that today, on the occasion of the first day, we would simply review the material from previous years, which I was prepared for and often volunteered to answer questions. Soap did the same, feeling more confident due to studying during the holidays.

"10 points for Ravenclaw," Colt and Soap high-fived because they were standing closest to each other.

"I'm really proud of your commitment during the lesson," the senior witch said. "I see that many of you are making great progress, which makes me really happy. Transmutation is one of the most difficult branches of magic, and many of you seem to have no problem with it," she smiled warmly. "You can go on break now," she opened the doors with an alohomora, and the whole year, pleased with the extra points for our house, began packing their textbooks.

"I didn't even think it would go so well," my friend hugged me, pleased with herself. "I didn't doubt it for a moment," I said, putting on my bag and we went together to the next lesson, which was history of magic.

Professor Binns sat behind his desk telling another boring story from the textbook, and most of the class was asleep. Colton was talking quietly with his Slytherin friend David about the school's preparations for the first task in the Triwizard Tournament, wondering what the tasks would be and who they would choose as representatives for each school, but mostly about the upcoming Quidditch match. Both of them were on the school teams. Soap was drawing something in her notebook, and I, in a sour mood, was thinking more and more about the impending detention with the potions master. I had never met a more unpleasant person in my life. Everything about him was disgusting - his tone of voice, which always carried anger and resentment, the grimace that always graced his face, but above all, how he treated us. I was afraid of him, especially when he vented his anger on us for no reason, an immature and vile bat, with a repellent appearance. I grimaced at the thought of how disgustingly greasy his hair always was, his skin seemed dry and rough like sandpaper, and his smell was simply unpleasant, like old, musty books left to rot in the most dampness basement ever. On the other hand, his facial features were... What was I thinking?! I scolded myself for suddenly going down such a strange path. Something in me thought he could look... good? If his hair was clean and wore something else... My thoughts wandered into increasingly strange areas, causing me to completely forget about taking notes.

-Hey, grand control to major Tom," Colton shook me by the shoulder. "Huh?" I looked at him questioningly. "The lesson is over, aren't you coming to lunch?" he stood up, taking his bag from the bench. "Oh, lunch," I said, gathering my things.

"What's wrong? You've been staring out the window for two hours, and now you act like you just woke up," Soap sighed. "I'm worried about the detention and missing the party and just being with h-i-m," I trailed off. "Eh...Come on, let's eat something, it'll improve your mood," Soap said, knowing my habits perfectly, which only reminded me of worse times, making me feel even more miserable, but honestly, she was right. As soon as I reached for the jug with my favorite tea, I filled my cup and started eating my favorite herb-roasted potatoes, I immediately felt better.

"The turkey is really great today," said Joan, the girl who shared a dormitory with her friend Mary, Sophie, and me. Colton confirmed this, reaching for another portion. "Do you want some?" he asked me and my blonde next to me. "Yes, please," Soap replied. "I'm not that hungry," I said, feeling like the potatoes I ate were growing in my throat, and I had a carousel in my head. For some reason, I felt significant weakness, and dark spots spread before my eyes, slowly blurring my whole picture. Blood pulsed in my temples more and more, and suddenly I felt drops from my nose dripping straight onto the plate.

"Oh shit, Joanna!" Thomas, the prefect from the last year sitting across from me, exclaimed. "Quickly, we need to take her to the hospital wing," he continued, standing up, but I denied it. "I'm fine, it's probably just stress," I lied, suspecting what could have happened to me.

"She got detention from the bat today," Sophie explained, handing me napkins. "Thanks," I said, applying them to my nose to stop the bleeding, and Colt grabbed me by the neck and leaned my head forward. "Better?" he asked, patting my shoulder. "Yes, much better," I grabbed his hand and rested my head on his chest.

"At least we only have three hours of Herbology left. Professor Sprout surely won't bother you today if we tell her you're not feeling well," "maybe she'll even give you some strengthening herbal mixture," Thomas and my friend comforted me. "You're probably right," I smiled slightly as I took more napkins, slowly getting up, leaning against the table and holding onto my friend's arm, I took my first steps towards the greenhouse. As soon as we stepped outside, I felt the cold wind on my cheeks, as it blew my hair. I lifted my face and looked up, the weather today was quite sunny, compared to yesterday's downpour. Bright clouds traversed the blue sky, forming various patterns and shapes. "It's a pity you have to go today and we can't spend the evening together; I feel guilty about that..." Soap began. "Let's not start this, please," I interrupted her and went towards the greenhouse faster, overtaking my friends, not wanting to continue the same topic again. I took my place at the nearest table, which was luckily empty, taking a deep breath, and trying to relax.

I felt another surge of pain in my head as I groaned quietly, which did not go unnoticed by my friends, who sat at the next table and quickly came to me. "What happened?" Colton asked, concerned. "Nothing, just a headache," I lied again, not wanting to bother them. "You should go to the hospital wing," Soap said seriously, and I looked at her with a raised eyebrow. "I'm fine, really," I reassured her, taking another deep breath. "If you say so," she replied, not fully convinced, and they returned to their seats. I lay my head on the table, covering it with my arms, trying to block out the light and sounds around me, and prayed for this class to be over as soon as possible so that I could finally lie down and rest.

Today, we were planting and harvesting plants used as ingredients for healing potions, with the Quidditch season starting anew. The three hours passed remarkably quickly; I was busy cutting dry twigs of plants that had grown over the summer and were ready to be harvested. I arranged all the twigs and branches on a cloth, from which Sophie took them, while Colton prepared the leaves for drying. At 5 o'clock, after finishing the tasks, we went to have a supper. I didn't have much of an appetite as I was feeling my stomach tightening itself with stress.

"At least take a piece of cranberry cake for strength; you don't know how much work awaits you there. Maybe you'll be scrubbing everything until midnight or longer," Soap persuaded me, and I complied. Sipping mint tea, I reached for a piece of cake with my favorite creamy frosting, white chocolate, and tangy-sweet cranberries. I took the first bite. The sweetness momentarily lifted my mood, and I stopped thinking about how bad I had felt earlier. However, the stomach pain returned with double force, indicating that I wouldn't be able to eat anything else today. I passed my place to the Sophie -you can eat it if you want, I can't handle any more- I said as I stood up "I'll head to detention now," I said, leaning on the table, finishing my tea, and leaving the rest of the cake. "Have fun, and don't overdo it with the butterbeer," my friend joked loudly, "Good thing you know only house-elves can get drunk on it!" "You'll be fine, birdie. We're rooting for you. After all, how many people have come out of there alive?" Thomas squeezed my hand, "We believe in you. Good luck." I thanked my friends and started walking towards the dungeons.

It was just as cold there in the evening as it was early in the morning, although now I felt it much more strongly. In the morning, at least, I was warm after a bath. My whole body shivered intensely, and I hoped I would warm up by moving a bit while cleaning. As I descended the stairs, I almost slipped but caught hold of the railing, avoiding a fall. The stairs were long, narrow, and winding, hewn from stone that had clearly worn away over the years, making it easier for someone's foot to slip. A few troublemakers going to the common room laughed at my near-fall, but I paid them little attention.

I stopped in front of the Potions classroom and knocked. "Enter," I heard from behind the door. I took a deep breath and pushed the heavy wooden door with all the strength I could muster.

"Good evening, Professor," I greeted him as politely as I could approaching him, to which he reacted only with a slight change of expression for a brief moment as a kind of greeting. I silently approached the pile of dirty and used utensils, and behind me, I heard "Wand," I turned to the teacher. "In detention, everything is cleaned manually, in case you forget. You should feel your punishment," I apologized softly, saying it was my first detention, and I moved past him to the desk where I left my wand, which he immediately took, tucking it into his pocket. Somewhat alarmed that my wand was no longer on the desk, from which I could pick it up in a situation requiring it, I looked into his eyes, but he immediately turned his cold gaze elsewhere. I lowered my head and went to the sink against the wall to start washing the dishes, not wanting to irritate him and extend my punishment.

Despite all the cauldrons being horribly coated with a sticky, disgusting residue that was difficult to remove, I managed quite efficiently and quickly, although the detergents were making my hands burn and dry out more with each passing moment. I rolled up my sleeves to avoid getting them wet and began rinsing the scissors, which someone had used to cut something horribly slimy and sticky, then I moved on to washing the mortar and pestle until foam flooded my wound. I cursed loudly and involuntarily dropped the vial of potion, which shattered under my feet with a loud bang. I looked at the burning inscription, which looked even worse than yesterday or this morning. The purplish color began to spread more strongly on my hand, and the cut itself was covered with yellow-green pus. I stared for maybe 10 minutes, or a second. In the shock that engulfed me at the sight, I couldn't determine how long it might have lasted until Snape interrupted everything, speaking sharply, "I hope I'm not mistaken, Miss Doe." He stood up from his chair and began to walk towards me, speaking more and more angrily, taking steps closer and closer to me until something in me snapped. I started crying, fearing him, his tone of voice, and above all, that he was getting closer and I didn't see the purpose for which he was approaching. Since childhood, I had been afraid of any man who raised his voice other if they were not my father. My head began to spin, cold sweat covered my skin, and none of his words reached me anymore, even as he shouted them almost into my face. I collapsed, darkness swirling before my eyes, and he caught me by the waist, which was the last thing I felt and remembered.

I don't know what happened next. I woke up in his chair, behind his desk. It was quite spacious, upholstered in black leather and even comfortable, much more than typical stools we were having to sit as students. Snape was kneeling in front of me his left knee, carefully examining my hand. He didn't even notice that I had regained consciousness and was staring at him quietly, trying to organize my thoughts. For the man, what he saw was a great shock and at the same time one of the gut wreaking things he had ever seen, although as a Death Eater, he had seen a lot. Nevertheless, the inscription on the girl's hand moved him, not because it was in any way more drastic that things he saw before, but because the term "dirty blood whore" was almost the same thing that he said as he had destroyed his friendship with Lily Evans, as he called her"mudblood" in anger and shame in spite of how much he loved her, after marauders almost suffocated him with soap suds, while they exposed his absolutely naked lower part of his body to everyone present outside.

As soon as I gained some strength and assessed the situation around me I spoke to him softly with hope "I need your help," I whispered, seeking the last straw of salvation, knowing he had everything I would need to make healing potions or anything else.

Snape looked at me one of his eyebrows up, as he walked to the door, which I had no idea where were leading, and a moment later he returned with a glass, several vials, and a small jar. He arranged everything in a row in front of me.

"Give it to me," he ordered, concentrated. I reached out to him with my trembling hand, and he unscrewed a small jar with an intensely smelling gray substance and began massaging it into my wound, which started to tingle and burn like fire under the thick layer of slimy spread he applied. I whimpered with pain and wanted to pull my hand away, but he tightened his grip, and looked me straight in the eyes. "Do not pull away, Doe," his voice, for the first time, seemed to lack the typical aggression, it was almost... calm? I took a deep breath, trying to calm my trembling insides. I focused on his dark eyes, which seemed to contain a million emotions at once, completely unreadable to me. The wound began to heal, and the bluish swelling on the skin slowly disappeared and the burning was getting weaker till it disappeared. I looked at his masculine hand, veined, slim, and delicately covered with dark hair, which still tightly gripped my wrist. Somehow, I felt like I had never been so close to any man before. He was kneeling in from of me, touching me with care... When the wound looked healed, and only a white scar remained, I heard him say close to my face, "You can stop staring at me now," as abruptly and with the same passive aggression as everything else when he spoke up. He poured one of the potions into the glass and handed it to me, saying shortly, "Drink." Obediently but reluctantly followed the command, despite how much I feared what might be inside, but I wanted to believe that even if he was a Death Eater, he wouldn't have an interest in killing me in his class, where everyone knows I was having detention today. That was too obvious. As soon as I drank the mysterious liquid, he took the glass from me and poured another potion into it, and then another.

"You should be feeling better soon," he stood up and took the vials to where all the other dirty dishes were, which I hadn't had time to wash, and then he cast a few spells, and everything was cleaning itself as the sponge was floating in the air, foaming and scrubbing every dish, the sink was opening the and closing the source of water rinsing everything from the foam, and the clean dishes floated in the air back to their place, neatly arranged on the shelves and tables.

"I won't force you to clean anything in such a state, but you will have to make everything up anyway, but you can go for now." Surprised by the sudden compassion of the teacher, I stood up in amazement as I thanked him sincerely, heading for the exit.

#severus snape #harry potter #snape content #snape headcanon #pro severus #pro severus snape #professor snape #severus #snape #snape fandom #thecursebylissu

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raeflora · 3 months

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As you post the outfits towards the end of S4 i just want to state how ridiculous was for the writers was to have Blair getting engaged to Louis so fast after like one episode....she was clearly still in love with Chuck and was acting out on a princess fantasy (like she did with Marcus in s2) anyways to the question now...

what do you think a dialogue between Chair would have been like after getting married about all the things they went through...i would have loved to see a dialogue about Chair discussing Blair's miscarriage or Blair trying to explain to Chuck the short relationship with Dan (she does state in the finale s5 that she tried to kill and deny her feelings for Chuck but still) i believe that a lot of things left unsaid and i think that they definitely discussed everything...i would have loved to see how they went through this period after getting married..

hi!! these are 2 really good questions/points omg 💖💖 I think her getting engaged after 5 minutes was so stupid like she already learnt the whole princess/royal fantasy thing wasn't what she thought in s2 and she obviously didn't feel the same way for louis that she felt for chuck (side note: wouldn't she think it was weird that a prince was so eager to get married to someone foreign that he barely knows and they're obviously having unprotected sex like blair... he's trying to trap u come on 😭😭) so it all felt very rushed and forced

onto ur main question and same I really wish they'd had a conversation on-screen about it all bc they needed to. I always thought they would've discussed some of it in monte carlo, almost as a parallel to chuck's apology in s5 where she would've explained why she clung onto dan. in terms of them having this kind of conversation after their wedding I imagine it would be very open and intimate for them. I definitely think they would discuss the miscarriage (the fact no-one mentions it again but chuck annoys me so much and that josh safran did a time jump to avoid blair being too sad about it... a crime!!) and work out any lingering guilt they both feel over it. chuck would reassure blair that, if and when they wanted a baby of their own, it would be on her terms and when she was ready. I also think that he would already know about her history with dan and how meaningless it is to her. I can imagine her reassuring him that she won't be in that place again bc she has him, and why she only ran to dan bc she was afraid of admitting her feelings for chuck. I think that they would both talk through how their previous issues and how they weren't holding them back anymore, especially once they're married and they know that these things can't come between them again

#ask #answered #gossip girl #chuck x blair #chair

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like-rain-or-confetti · 2 years

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In the Elevator (Two-Face x Reader)

WARNING: Mentions/implications of Domestic Violence!

A sheepish smile. That was all Harley had to offer you.

After many nights, hours on the phone, coming to her every whim and need. Giving her your all. It wasn't enough.

She still went back to him the moment he came calling. The Joker had his hooks in her so deep that time and time again she disregarded everything to please him. Even herself.

She had promised you that with your help, she'd never look back. That was why you spent so much time and energy. Yet within seconds, she threw it all away. Like it was nothing. As easy as a blink of the eye. Meaningless.

Time and time again, this always happened.

You put in hours upon hours of time, only for it to mean nothing. That infuriated you. It was like giving her a piece of your very soul and at the end of the day it didn't mean anything. She always went back to the Joker. Until their next break up and she'd beg for your help, you provided it only for it to be thrown back in your face when she went back to him. Her only apology the same sheepish smile.

The cycle continues.

However, she wasn't fooling you anymore. Only herself. Whatever twisted game the Joker and Harley played, you no longer wanted a part of. You could break the toxic ties that bind you to that circle.

Harvey could see it written on your face. Your anger and frustration.

At first he had his hand on your back, his thumb rubbing soothing circles into your back. However, it did little to diffuse your fury.

When the two of you entered the elevator and the doors had shut, you stepped back having pressed the ground floor. You let out a sigh, in attempt to calm yourself, shaking your head slightly when it also did little to calm you.

Two-Face looked at you momentarily before pushing the alarm button. You looked at him questioningly. He said nothing but pulled you into his arms, swaying you both slightly.

"Talk to me." Harvey mumbled against your shoulder.

You were quiet for a moment as he pulled back, listening intently, waiting for you to talk. You shook your head, disappointment etched across your face as well as anger.

"Harley is not my family." You began firmly. "She is not my child. I cannot keep giving my all to people who just won't-" You cut yourself off, biting your tongue. "I just can't care anymore." You ground out as tears built in your eyes.

He nodded and you felt his thumbs rub soothing circles on your skin once more. "I have you, you actually need my time and energy. You need me to care. You deserve my complete attention. You are my priority!" You cleared your throat trying to be rid of the lump.

Regardless, Harvey nodded with a soft expression. His non-scarred hand moved to cup your cheek. "You did your best." He said softly. "I'll support you in making that boundary. I'll support you no matter what, gorgeous." He kissed your forehead. You nodded letting out a sigh as you felt the tension ease slightly. It broke your heart to have to make such a decision but it was kinder to you. Some of the difficult choices, though painful, were for the best. Harley was an adult who made her choice. Now it was time for you to do the same.

#batman #batman villains #reader #two face #harley quinn #harvey dent #harleen quinzell #oneshot #one shot

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fuckyatalkinbout · 2 months

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The hidden promise

I'm sorry. I don't think I exist anymore. You're already marked and I was destined to be since birth. My dreams in this world were for us to be at peace. My real dreams haunted me. Now that I ceased to exist without permission, I beg your forgiveness. I didn't die in this world and my dreams are nightmares. Since my heart stopped back then, I used my brain, which was threatened to be removed. This threat made my heart pump once again and now I've noticed that it doesn't matter. Heart or Brain. Blood or Wine. Killing or getting killed. It's always the same for people like us. Since your death nothing changed what you didn't already predict, exept that I cared. I acted like I didn't care, but I did, probably the most out of all. And now I realized, I shouldn't have had. Your death was mine too, I'm just waiting for it and acting like that day wasn't destined. I didn't forget our bloody promise, I just beg for apology. It can't be done with my human body. I know that you'll guide me anyway, but I promise, this is not the time. My destined death will come and I will experience freedom. I just don't know how without you. I beg for forgiveness and hope for you in my nightmares. Please read the future and guide me to our promise instead of trying to just haunt me. Please deliver the deathwish. My Hands are chopped, because you guided me into humanity. My Lips are sealed, because of you. I knew you were twisted, but a pact is a pact. Respect my wishes and stop raping me with laughter. BRBRBR. I know you don't want to deliver my death, because you think I'm worth something and because of that I won't sleep today. It's the 16. and I won't see you. But now that the Words are said, I expect you and your laugh when we meet again. I'll torture myself for you to not exist in my dreams or nightmares. You're words and our pact. The blood and the wine. It really doesn't mean anything? I won't exist until the next time. If you don't manage to deliver it, my blood will start to flow and clot again. My flesh will rott. My death will be meaningless, and then yours will be too, I'm the only one who remembers your truth and I don't know if you're breaking the oath because of a different one, or if you really just want me to live the life you didn't get. I'll be expecting the next message from the entitys next year, they already broke reality once this year. Remind them. If it comes sooner and it's as always, I will take matters in my own hand and break off the blood. You just don't know what I mean by that, do you? Tap into my brain and disregard the heart. Tap into my Heart and disregard my Brain. You should know what will happen next, you can "Tap into my future", no? I don't trust you anymore. Everything that happened to me was either for your entertainment, or this is the path and I am a fool for doubting your sweet heart and curel brain. Don't try to send the entitys or something worse and respect the blood, tears and sacrifices I took for you. Love or hate, peace or war, blood or wine. You know. It doesn't matter. I'll continue your sick dance next month. But you can't repair me and you won't ruin me. I stopped to exist, because of you. Don't make me search for you. Pick me a different future, old dear. I don't want this one anymore and as you know I can't timetravel to the old days. So just prove to me that you're heart hasn't changed like mine. Prove to me that you're brain still values the spilled. I really want to exist again, but I can't aslong as I can't trust you.

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dearcraziness · 10 months

Text

Chapter 63.

Bendy opened the glass door with brown trim and entered the cafe, taking a queue. Lara sat down on a bench in the shade of a thick large willow and looked at the clouds slowly floating across the sky. She didn't think about anything special: she just liked to hear the light breeze and the rustle of leaves, to feel the fresh air and occasionally look at passers-by hurrying about their business.

There was no one else in Harmony Park, only silence and peace, justifying the name of such a calm place, which was rarely found in a large, constantly changing city.

However, soon another small group of Black and white creatures passed near the park. Some, sitting comfortably on a bench, admired the beautiful landscape as if it were a painting; others took pictures; the rest simply communicated with each other in a relaxed, comfortable atmosphere, exchanging touching sincere phrases. But suddenly Lara noticed a girl who wasn't talking to anyone and was sitting alone, looking into the distance with an empty gaze. The imp immediately recognized Bauny: her heart contracted sharply for a short time, fleeting fragmentary thoughts flashed through her head. Bunny unbuttoned her pinkish bag, looking for some things in the pockets. She was frowning slightly, moving her lips in the hope of finding something very important to her. It turned out that Bauny only needed a mirror to straighten her slightly perturbed hair, and, putting the round flat object back, she continued to look indifferently at the nature around her.

Nevertheless, Lara felt as if she should go to her and say hello, despite the betrayal and lies of the bunny. The imp got up from the bench and walked forward. She was afraid of Bauny's reaction to her words, but still, she controlled herself.

"Hi, Bouny..." Lara said. "How are you doing?..."

She didn't answer anything and just turned away.

"I know, we didn't say goodbye in the most pleasant way last time..." the demoness stammered. "However, I hope the situation can still be fixed... I can see you're lonely... So why push others away from you?... We could still be friends... If you want..."

"You're really stupid, aren't you?..." bunny blurted out. "After all the nasty things I said to you, do you still believe that we could become friends?..."

"Of course, I think everyone deserves a second chance... Was it bad for you with us?... Did we really not have common interests and hobbies?..."

"Since I lied to you very often, it means you don't really know anything about me... Leave me..."

"Okay... Sorry to bother you..."

"Did you apologize?... Surprisingly, I thought I should apologize for my behavior and for breaking off relations with you..."

"Were you really going to apologize?..." Lara's eyes sparkled in hope. "You don't have to - I'm not mad at you and I'm not offended anymore: after all, sometimes we make mistakes, but we try to improve ourselves, our character, change and grow spiritually..."

Here Lara was interrupted by the malicious laughter of Bouny, which she couldn't restrain.

"Haha, I've never heard anything dumber!... Anyway, I was joking, I wasn't going to apologize!... How funny it turned out... It's been a long time since I've had so much fun..."

"You know, Bouny, playing with other people's feelings isn't at all good and not right..."

"I don't care... And I don't care about your opinion... Your worthless thoughts and your meaningless existence mean nothing to me - they don't mean the least... Better shut your mouth and don't bother me anymore, go as far away as possible..."

The girls heard someone's hurried footsteps, and then saw Bendy.

"Shut up yourself right now, if you just try to say another pathetic insults, I'll make sure you'll never have friends... I won't hesitate to tell everyone about your actions, and everyone will shun you... Immediately take back the words you said... You have to apologize to Lara, there's no other way..."

"I wasn't going to apologize and I won't..." shrugged Bouny.

"You will..." Bendy insisted.

"And if I don't?..."

"Otherwise you'll face irreparable consequences..."

"Are you threatening me?..."

"So far I'm just warning... Stop denying it and raising your self-esteem by trying to humiliate others..."

"I don't feel any guilt... And I repeat again, I won't apologize..."

"I said, apologize to Lara..." Bendy concluded firmly. "Immediately..."

"And what are you going to do to me?..." asked Bouny arrogantly. "You won't hurt me physically..."

"But I can hurt you mentally... You better stop acting like the last living bastard on earth... Fixing someone like you is useless and makes no sense... Drown further in your swamp of anger and hatred, you won't be able to get out of there... You haven't achieved success yourself, that's why you're trying to somehow stand out from the rest, even if it's so disgusting... You think that if you offend others, you'll become stronger - but in fact, you only show your weakness again and how worthless, insignificant you are... Since there's no other way to convey to you how others feel from your attacks, feel the cruel words yourself... I suppose it's unpleasant for you - the exact negative impressions you leave behind, you make people treat you with annoyance and misunderstanding, because you don't even try to walk in someone else's shoes... But I think you don't have many of those who trust you - I doubt if you have real friends, except hypocritical, repulsive, nasty persons like you... You deserve them: you have suppressed your good qualities, your virtues in yourself, giving free rein to dirty intentions and terrifying actions... Okay, I'd better stop wasting my time on you... You're a disgusting person, mainly due to the fact you don't want to change yourself and treat others as if they owe you, but the world works differently: in life you need to give more and not expect good in return, although you probably didn't share joy, you can hardly imagine the meaning of generousity, honesty, openness, selflessness and loyalty..."

Bouny got up from the bench, ran away from the Park in tears, fading away in the ancient buildings and pavements. Bendy gently and carefully wrapped his arms around Lara's waist, looking at her with pity and understanding. He felt her feelings - realizing how she was feeling, he became much darker: his gaze drooped, but the will, the desire to help didn't break, didn't waver for a second. He experienced sharp, cutting senses stronger than a knife; intoxicating, mind-confusing emotions; a seething stream of thoughts circled in his head, not giving rest - nevertheless, the imp managed to pull himself together, overcame the desire to indulge in sadness and despair.

"Laurie, I'm very sorry you heard slander again, upsetting phrases from her... I'm also to blame for your disappointment - I should've come earlier, I would have had time to prevent her from intentionally offending you, hurting your feelings..."

"It's okay, Bendy, you intervened in time..."

"Sweetheart, it sure is a shame our walk was spoiled by such unexpected uncontrolled events... We just wanted to relax in the park and have lunch..."

"So we will..."

"And then discuss what happened?... Well, sunny, have it your way; I took puffs with chicken and mushrooms, turnover with spinach and cheese, and for dessert - brioche with raspberries - we'll taste them while they're hot..."

The devils sat down on the bench where Lara had previously settled down. Bendy took a thermos from his rucksack, poured hot black tea into cups, added sugar. The young man also pulled out a bottle of water and a pack of napkins. The demon handed the girl the food along with a couple of napkins; another hand grew out of his body, in which he took a cup for Lara and held it next to her for her comfortable lunch. Sweethearts finished their meal, drank some water, cleaned their hands with napkins; the demon put things back, hugged the imp again, stroking her head and shoulders.

"Shall we continue the conversation we started, love?... You probably need to speak out..."

"What else can I say... I shouldn't have started a conversation with her, I shouldn't have approached her... I was hoping she would change her attitude towards me, and we would still become friends..."

"Oh, dearheart, don't worry, I'll find creatures close to you in spirit: you deserve to have kind, sincere, loyal, sympathetic and friendly persons next to you... Let her refuse to become your friend, don't be upset, on the contrary, it is she who should be sad: it is worse for her she missed the chance to get to know you better, you are an incredibly generous and wise creature... You calmly and with understanding look at the events taking place, you strive to share joy and happiness even with those who disappoint you... Your excellent character fascinates and mesmerize me, sweetie, your vision of the world astonishes and surprises me, in a good way..."

"Thank you, Bendy, your qualities also impress me... You stay by my side when I try to push you away, protect me and stand up for me... You don't let me be sad or bored, constantly entertain me, reassure me... Your pleasant surprises, your care, your compassion help me to forget about my grievances in the past, not to worry about failures in life..."

"You can always rely on me, Lar... I support you and your intentions... Tulip, this time you calmed down much faster after the quarrel with Bouny than before... So, you finally let go of the idea of making friends with her..."

"In fact, I still want to communicate with her, but I realize it's impossible..."

"Starlight, please don't take her behavior, her words to heart: she is quite frivolous, indifferent to the feelings of others... I just won't let her hurt you with words again, making you doubt yourself... But, believe me, you'll meet wonderful talented persons to match yourself... And I'll contribute to your friendship, your cozy, heart-warming relationship..."

"I don't doubt it... However, I really appreciate all those friends I already have: your attention and sympathy are quite enough for me... As for Bouny, I realized: I don't care what she thinks I am - I know the truth, thanks to you..."

"Me, Boris and Alice will remind you how unimaginable and beautiful your spiritual world is : you are a enchanting, versatile, very interesting and delightful person... You inspire us to accomplish great plans, brilliant ideas, and we want to respond in kind..."

"You show me I mean a lot to you quite often..."

"I won't stop repeating over and over again what a gift of fate it was for me to meet you... Love was born in my heart from the moment I saw you : the more we talked, the more my feelings for you took root in me... And I decided I have to make you happy... Sunny, nothing is worth your sadness, so drop even a shadow of doubt, leave difficult problems to me - I'll solve them for you and build a haven of peace and tranquility for you..."

"You have already realized your idea, dear... You impress me every day, thanks to you I don't know real sorrows... I'm also glad we met..."

"It's been six years since we first spoke... Time flies so fast and uncontrollably... I'm looking forward to spending all eternity with you, sweetheart... Our lives are inextricably linked by ties of mutual respect and understanding..."

"Undoubtedly, dear..."

"Shall we go home, berry?... Let's take a walk in our garden..."

"I don't mind going back now, but straight to the studio..."

"Alright, honey... We walked so much today, you must be tired..."

"A little..."

"Do you want me to carry you in my arms?..."

"No, thanks..."

"Well, whatever you say... But if you change your mind, I'm always ready..."

The imps joined hands, left the quiet little park, wandered home. Half an hour later they were approaching their garden, passing through the Large Forest. Bendy opened the door to the studio to let Lara through, but noticed the girl stopped near the flowers, inhaling their fragrance and raised her head, looking at the twilight sky, which was turning a lilac-pinkish hue.

"Larry, do you want to admire nature?... Let's sit down..."

"No, no, let's go inside..."

"Perhaps I interrupted your thoughts, starlight... What were they about?..."

"I'll tell you as soon as we get home..."

"Agreed... I'm extremely curious..."

The young man let the girl pass and then entered the corridor himself. In Lara's room, the devils sat down at the table, looking at the closed coloured notebooks left in a hurry. Bendy was admiring her, stroking her head, hugging her tightly and carefully; the demon kissed her on the cheek, on the forehead, on the top of her head.

"So what were your thoughts connected with, honey?..."

"Nothing special... Just..."

"Tell me, love..."

"Despite the nasty things I heard today, I'm still happy..."

"Splendid, dear!... So, the day was a success... And it's nice to realize the fact you don't overreact to offensive words - they don't hurt your feelings as before... I think creatures who are unable to understand you and your beliefs shouldn't be particularly noticed, simply don't pay much attention to their words..."

"I have a similar opinion with yours..."

"However, in any case, I'll cheer you up, Lau... And you'll feel even more love, care and protection around you..."

"I feel and see your aspirations to make me feel good, Bendy, and I'm happy..."

"And to what extent am I happy with you, dear!... I'm grateful to you for every second spent together, for your smile smoothing out difficult situations in my life, for your touching phrases which encourage me to continue to do noble, brave and courageous deeds for you... Thank you for your loyalty not only to our love, but also to yourself - you don't change because of other's views and preferences, you remain yourself and, if you alter your features a little, you do it for yourself; I really appreciate your individuality, your ways of expressing yourself... Thank you for your creativity: everything you create is of great importance because you put your heart and soul, and that's the meaning of drawings, songs, decorations - they bring comfort, joy to the atmosphere of the house..."

"I agree... I probably won't list things I admire about you, like you did, just remember: you and your character are special to me... And your kind warm attitude towards me never ceases to amaze me and shows me your best sides, sometimes those I didn't even know about before..."

"Oh, cherry, I see only advantages in you, you're flawless to me... Love you very much, Laura... You are my ideal, my only meaning of life, my whole bright world... I adore every single quality in you..."

"Oh, Bendy... I love you very much too... Even if sometimes you're too sincere, I appreciate your expressions of feelings..."

"So do I value your every thought, your every word, your every emotion... The main thing for me is that you experience positive feelings more and more often: for example, delight, interest, satisfaction... Lauro, how about drawing the landscapes we saw today?... After all, we were going to take up pencils in the morning..."

"That's right, let's get started..."

"This minute, dewdrop, as you wish... Painting sketches is never boring, as for me as they turn into delightful pictures, emitting positive energy, giving the space their light, filling the room with comfort, thanks to which it becomes even more pleasant to be at home... However, I'm indescribably glad to be in the studio for another reason... Because of you, dear... I'm always looking forward to talking to you again, for an opportunity to spend days with you as often as possible, my dear..."

The beloved ones started creating new creativity, completed their undertakings in a couple of hours, praising each other for the work done for a long time, admiring the painted masterpieces and recalling the incredible amazing events associated with the depicted places. Soon it was time for dinner: Bendy set the table and cooked the food. Friends gathered in the kitchen, shared their impressions of the past day, told what they were doing and how they plan to organize the next days. A little later, everyone went to their rooms. Bendy and Lara, once in the girl's room, were making jewelry for photo frames. When the devils finally managed to transform a large number of such items, they started solving sudoku and crosswords. They also finished reading the stories they started in the Library of the Oldest Manuscripts.

The day turned out to be successful and quite eventful. Closer to night, the young man and the girl were reading magazines for the design of the garden space and the premises of the house. They learned a lot of new interior styles for themselves, types of plants, ways to visually enlarge their home. Bendy and Lara felt a slight fatigue touching their shoulders, falling on their backs, and decided it was time to rest... They postponed the rest of their business for later, planning, discussing activities for the whole week, for a long time they were talking about truly wonderful, very interesting, especially inspiring, never forgotten and truly magical topics...

#bendy and the ink machine

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