#it’s been a difficult day

[thebibliosphere]

I came to bed “early” (early for me) and the way Holly Mop perked right up when she realized almost made me cry.

She went from lounging on @mothman-etd’s feet to sitting on the end of the bed, tail wagging excitedly as she waited for me to get under the covers then just plastered herself against my side with the biggest, most content sigh.

She’s currently wrapped around my leg like a koala making little whuffling snoring sounds.

We don't deserve dogs.

#holly mop #it’s been a difficult day #Tomorrow will also be hard #but at least I have a shih tzu who loves me😭

[vekovoysoldat-a]

❄️

#you ever feel like you don’t deserve nice things or good experiences? #my sister paid for this entire trip including food etc #and I feel guilty about it #despite her telling me this was an early birthday present #and I’m trying to enjoy myself but 🙃🙃🙃 my brains being an asshole #tbd #negativity cw #sorry I’m just aksjdjdjd #you can ignore this #it’s been a difficult day #my friends got me the Ben tickets and that’s super nice of them too #but my brain is being a dickhead

[southern--downpour]

#marble hornets #tim wright #timothy wright #tim mh #mh #...i couldnt think of a caption that wasnt just 'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH' #anyways. can you tell my favorite entry is 65 :) #virgil arts #went back and forth on whether i wanted this to be day time like in the entry or not #still not 100% on that decision but whatever doing darkness is easier #and making a day time sky look overexposed like itd show up on camera is weirdly difficult for me #idk maybe ill do another couple of entry 65 drawings and actually try that out #also this was meant to be perspective + painting practice so if things look weird dw about it <3 #its been so long since i did a full forced perspective drawing and i remember why i dont usually do it!

[timdoubleyou]

i found jay’s black jacket (an ID guide)

This black jacket is worn by Jay about 9 times throughout Marble Hornets, including his final appearance. And after some weeks of on-and-off research, I think I know the exact make and model.

This post will detail exactly how I found it, and serve as a guide for anyone that wants to find the jacket, whether that's for cosplay purposes, or if you're just keen on collecting items related to MH.

Main post under the cut

Intro

The first step to identifying the jacket was to gather as many references as possible.

I went back to the web series and took screenshots from any entries the jacket makes an appearance. (shoutout to mg549′s very comprehensive MH wardrobe guide, without it this would’ve been much more of a pain)

Jay's jacket is, for the most part, very plain. It's a solid color, full-zip jacket, without any particularly eye-catching logos or other details. I had to look for moments where even the slightest distinction appeared clear on camera, at least as distinct as it can be. Even if it was just close-ups to get the shape of a zipper, or how many buttons are on a sleeve, it was the best I got. While I did manage to find a decent amount of these, there was just one crucial detail that would've made finding it near-impossible; the brand is never shown. Thankfully, I had another resource.

In 2018 Troy Sold a Lot of Stuff

In early 2018, Troy officially announced that MH would be continued in a comic series. To fund the first issue, he held a number of auctions for production items used during the web series on Ebay.

These included items such as Jay’s camera, Brian’s hoodie, A Masky mask, and Jay’s black jacket.

Lo and behold, the jacket listing includes a picture with the brand in clear view. It's from Gap.

Ebay does not archive sold listings older than 90 days. However, Worthpoint, a website for valuing and pricing collectibles, does. Using Worthpoint I was able to find all of these items, (and a lot more, which can be found in this doc I submitted to Archive Hornets)

Identification

With the picture from the listing and the series screencaps, I had a complete ID list.

(Top image is from the Ebay listing, with the contrast adjusted a little for easier viewing. The bottom two images are from Entry #79)

The Gap logo (This specific logo dates the jacket being made anywhere between 1986 and 2009, when it first appears).

Front Zipper (Note the shape)

The two front pockets

The two buttons and pointed cuffs on each sleeve (Second one is a little hard to see but it's jusstt peeping out at the side)

The blue piping in the inner lining

The zipper in the right side inner lining

The gray mesh inner lining

With these in mind, I could now go to the next and longest step-

Finding the Jacket

I combed three resell sites; Ebay, Depop, and Poshmark. My main goal wasn't to actually purchase the jacket, (although, I would like to at some point) but to find a jacket listing that had every identifier, and have a more definite baseline for finding others. I needed to be sure what I had was enough to properly ID the jacket. The references I had stitched together were decent enough, but I wanted to see if there was something better out there.

After tons of page scrolling and tab-switching and comparing and contrasting, I finally got lucky.

(first two images are from crashthecloset's listing on poshmark, last six are from shannfo-76 on ebay)

I haven't bought one myself as of posting, but I feel pretty confident this is it. The jackets were already sold, but every marker seemed to be accounted for. It also revealed new ones, like the reflective pattern and pockets on the inner lining, (zipper on the right side pocket, button on the left pocket) and the materials tag.

With that, here's some final notes that may be helpful if you try looking for the jacket yourself:

Online sellers often describe it as a light jacket, a windbreaker, a 2-in-1, or 3-in-1.

"Gap Mens Black Jacket" is the search phrase I used the most since it yielded a (very) broad result pool.

Most of the jackets I found came from Poshmark or Ebay.

The exact size of Jay’s jacket is unclear. My best guesses are either a US Men’s S or M, since Jay was pretty skinny and of average height. I’ve only been able to find maybe 2 jackets that are a size M, one of which is the first pic in the photoset above.

Gap has sold other black jackets that look remarkably similar to Jay’s, and they do pop up on resell sites. One of these was so similar, the only discernible difference was the style of the logo. I highly recommend making sure it matches the exact one Jay had before purchasing. (It's also more than fine to ask/msg me if you have any doubts!) As long as you know what to look for, you shouldn’t have a problem finding at least one.

One detail that confounded me was this sleeve poking out of Jay's jacket. At first I thought he was wearing a long sleeve underneath, making this shot a continuity error since he appeared to Only be wearing the green short sleeve under the jacket.

@hivemite pointed out that this might be a two-in-one jacket, which has multiple layers for different types of weather. While I have not been able to see the sleeve outside of two shots in entry #79 and #80, one listing I found did describe it as a 3-in-1.

that's about it! hope this helps :)

#marble hornets #jay merrick #ref #over and out #long post #happy entry 80 day. heres some extra tidbits just for the tags #at least two listings called this y2k which is really funny. #it is also strangely difficult to find these in sizes smaller than large #another thing kinda related. worthpoint is a shitty site unfortunately #as you can see with the jacket description. in which it apparently ‘‘works and comes with a charging cable’’ #<- i mean that Couldve been an error on the original ebay listing #however that is. impossible to verify now unless someone somewhere had a screenshot #but each mh item from this particular auction there had consistently bad errors that inclines me to say that wasnt the case #ok this went too long for a few extra tidbits but can you tell i lost my mind

[gerardwayoftheday]

Today is Sunday, October 15, 2023. Enjoy your Sunday and your Gerard Way of the day.

#id in alt text #sorry this has been really difficult for me i’m not sure why #it’s not even that much work lolol #gerard way of the day

[uncanny-tranny]

Hey, gentle recognition for the people who are taking care of themselves in "not aesthetically-pleasing" ways. To the people who have to do things they don't want to because they know they would suffer more if they didn't, to the people who have to brush their teeth with their fingers, to the people who have to use washcloths to bathe, to the people who need to punch pillows or scream into them to express their intense emotions, to anybody ashamed about the way they need to live and take care of themselves.

You are doing the very best you can with the hand you've been dealt. It's not easy, it's not pretty, but it sure as fuck takes so much to do these things. You are doing what is best for yourself, and I, for one, think you deserve to be proud of that. Self-care isn't easy. It isn't pretty, often, but it's something you shouldn't be ashamed of or hide away because it's deemed "grotesque" or "not really self-care (because self-care is pretty and non-threatening to 'normal peoples' senses)"

#mental health #mental health support #self care #like when i was still in school i would end up forcing myself to go because i knew i would feel worse if i hadn't... #...and i don't think people get how difficult that is. it isn't like you choose to be difficult when you struggle #and feeling ashamed about doing these things only makes the situation worse for them (the person struggling) #something i've just been thinking about #i hate this idea that self-care *only* looks like the 'healthy' person's treat days... #...like lighting candles around your bathtub and putting rose petals in the water... #...because that isn't the only aspect to taking care of yourself. sometimes it looks like forcing yourself to bathe and grieving... #...and using rough washcloths because you can't stand the feeling of your own skin and you can't stand how dirty you feel... #...and obviously i'm not saying that mentally ill people doing self-care is the only way it looks... #...but that it really doesn't help us when self-care is almost made into a 'non-threatening' activity that is pleasant and nice-looking #and of course the examples i used in this post were examples and aren't the end-all-be-all

[kiiingsnake]

you (your mind), you (your body), you (the rot that’s growing inside you), and you (the corpse of your twin)

#art #my art #cyberpunk #day deblanc #scavenger ai #illustration #digital art #drawing #oc #day’s become one of my most important characters and i’ve been drawing so much of him lately #i’ve been. writing stuff too but knowing myself it’ll never be finished. and if it is itll never be out there #but this version of him has become so much of his own thing that. #it’s difficult to not keep going #so enjoy this art which is completely devoid of context but still fucks regardless #model decay

[beemochi-art]

In honor of tf one trailer coming out soon. 🥹 I can’t wait for the sillies.

#transformers #my art #transformers one #tf one #megatronus #orion pax #megatron #Optimus Prime #the past couple of days have been really difficult for me #so god I need this

[autism--wizard]

“Actually autistic people don’t communicate worse than neurotypicals neurotypicals just don’t want to understand us”

I am killing you with my mind shut up shut up shut up I’m fucking disabled I have a fucking disorder and I fucking suck at communicating stop telling me I’m fine literally shut up

All you’re telling me is that you’re not a safe person to be around. You’re telling me that when I’m having a bad day and can’t form sentences you’ll think it’s on purpose because you don’t think my disability is disabling. You’re telling me that if I mess up at communicating with you you’ll think it’s malicious instead of me being fucking disabled.

Also neurotypical isn’t the word for not autistic, there are plenty of allistic neurodivergent ppl.

I have a disorder and it makes me worse at things. And the solution to that isn’t telling me I’m fine actually, it’s being patient when I’m having trouble.

#been wanting to make this post all day but words were too difficult earlier #hope this makes sense #autism

[nguyenfinity]

This month's feature is Crazy:B, with this edition releasing alongside their new Valentine's Day single 'Lovebug'! (written and produced by my hopes and dreams)

art-only version below the cut!

#enstars #ensemble stars #crazy:b #rinne amagi #niki shiina #kohaku oukawa #himeru #i love how this project was so i draw anything other than eden and bees and i immediately go back to drawing bees #me throwing all my schoolwork to the wayside for this one #i hope you know i was literally sitting in class instead of the project i have due in a week #i have been sitting here rendering for nearly 4 hours straight to get this out on time #and i still didn't #but it's okay it's close enough #happy (late) valentines day #i don't disklike it but i can definitely do better on this one #oh well #no one is more difficult on me than myself #enseason #if happyele won’t make the bees valentines event then I will goddamn #put their asses in more pink stat #the pink hoodie in my comic yesterday was foreshadowing #I thought their outfits were too plain and then they ended up being worse to deal with than the trickstar ones #you’ll see why whenever I post the sheets #that poor n in the masthead is never gonna see the light of day I’m so sorry

[canisalbus]

I find little Machete being happy over bread baking to be so endearing, especially because I can imagine a world in which helping with baking was one of the few childhood joys he had (due to the lack of art of him happy as a pup), and then remembering the art you did months back of modern Machete making a souffle, I can see reincarnated Machete being drawn towards baking in his free time due to those residual feelings from his past life.

.

#aww dang #it's funny you remembered the souffle and made that connection #I didn't even think of that but it's very fitting #to be fair the part of his childhood he spent as an oblate in the monastery was relatively worry-free and uneventful #small children are good at making their own fun it often doesn't take much to make them happy #Machete was nervous and sensitive as a kid that's just part of his innate personality but that doesn't mean he was miserable all the time #things started to get difficult when he was old enough to start his apprenticeship #and his master was way harsher than he was prepared to handle #answered #lunalemures #his life would've been less turbulent if he had chosen to stay in the monastery and become a monk instead of pursuing a clerical career #baking bread or tending the library #with bland regular meals twice a day and bedtime at 6 pm #but he would've never met Vasco of course

[inkskinned]

it just sucks because nothing is ever fucking made for you, and if it is made for you like 75% of the time it gets chopped into little pieces by every person alive because this is the one thing you have, so it has to prove itself to you.

like, a thing can't just be for women. men need to assign it to women. women have to experience "must" or "should" before their hobbies and passions - women are allowed to do silly, passive things like tuck our ankles and titter behind a fan, or something. women are allowed to, they are welcomed to. like the world is a house and we are supposed to be in the kitchen and now we are being given the divine right to enter the living room if we bring chips

because when it becomes for you, or about you, that is when the thing is vile. you should/must wear makeup so you can appear beautiful to men. once you wear makeup for yourself, or because you yourself enjoy putting it on, then you are no longer doing the right thing. there is a reason men hate certain fashion trends. there is a reason men hate things like the pumpkin spice latte - because it's not about them. you are buying it because it is good for you. they degrade your passions and interests. there is a reason women-led fields are largely seen as being "not a real" profession. when you are a good cook, that is because you can provide for him. close your eyes. you're not going to be a chef, be honest. that is a man making food for himself.

bras are made so breasts will be appealing to men. they are rarely about comfort or support. you have given up entirely on the idea of pockets. young girls have to worry about a shorter inseam on their shorts. a girl on instagram gets her septum pierced, and men in the comments are rabid about it - i just want to rip it out of her face. she'd be beautiful without it.

and fucking everything is for them. even the media that is "for you" is for them, eventually. remember "my little pony"? remember how hard it is to convince any executive to believe that little girls are worth selling to? in the media that is for you, you see little ways that you still need to make it accessible for them - the man is always powerful, smart, masculine. he is a man's man. the media usually forgives him. it usually says okay, some men are awful, but hey! gotta love 'em. because if you don't hold their hands and say "this is literally just a story about my lived reality", they shit their pants about it. they demand you put them into the media that's for you.

these are people who are so used to glutting themselves on the world. they are used to having every corner and every dollar and every place of leadership. so you say can i please have one slice of cake, just for myself, please, holy shit. and they fucking weep about it. they say you're being unfair, because some of their one-thousand-slices aren't beautiful, and your singular cake slice doesn't have their name on it. and aren't you being rude by not offering to share?

and honestly. fucking - yeah, man. you were kind of surprised, because the cake is a little basic (you bake at home, you're way past this stuff). but holy shit, it was nice just to be offered cake in the first place. you're used to having to starve. you're used to getting nothing, but going to the party anyway, because you're expected (professionally) to show up. you liked that it is a simple cake, and that it is warm, and mostly: you like that there is, for once, a cake-for-you.

in the real world, outside of metaphor, it feels like fucking being slapped. barbie didn't even say anything particularly unusual; it literally just made factually evident points. there are less women in leadership than men. we can look at that fact objectively. that is a real thing that is happening. and the movie is aware that it has to defend itself! that it has to spend like half an hour just turning to the camera and saying: i know this is hard for you to understand, but this is a real thing that women experience.

it's just - this is that one kid on the playground who thinks its allowed to hog all the toys. he builds this hoard that nobody else is allowed to even look at, or he'll get aggressive. everyone's a little scared of him, so they let it slide, because his daddy gave him the golden touch. he hates when people cry and thinks bullying is cool. he writes boys only! on a big sign and makes all his friends take "alpha male" classes.

and then girls pick up barbies, because there was nothing left for them. and in the void they've been given, with their scraps: they make long, spiraling narratives about how barbie is actually descended from snakes and has given her righteous followers magical (if concerning) powers and can speak 32 languages (2 of which are animal related) and has big plans for infrastructure (beginning with the local interstate). and the boy comes over, and he has a huge fit about how the girls aren't "including" him. he wants to know why the girls aren't making the story about ken.

"we didn't like your story." the girls blink at him. they point to his war stories and the gi joes and the millions of male-led narratives and how still in the modern day men get two-thirds of the speaking roles in movies and they point to men making mediocre shows that don't get lambasted and they point to men encouraging toxic masculinity and they point to men everywhere, men and men and men. and they say: "how is this our fault? you had ken."

"no!" he is already back to screaming and stomping his feet and tearing at his hair and intentionally reminding them that men are holding back thinly concealed violence and he says: "if it's not for me, it's actually sexism."

#it's almost as if you spent your entire life fucking denying us things and then get mad when god forbid #we point out that you've been denying us something #writeblr #almost as if . u ACTUALLY think women dream of being in a male-run society #like dude mostly i dream about not having a tummy ache #love when ppl tell me that men have to deal with more rejection than women do #im like. just say u have never had a hard day in ur fucking life. if u think the most difficult experience is getting turned down at a bar #men: this one movie doesn't suck my entire - #women: yeah so i went to the doctor and was bleeding out of my eyeballs but like the doctor said #it was probably just my time of the month i guess? #anyway so i died there and had to be revived but they think i faked dying bc it was hysterics #so i took 3 advil and now im back at work i guess

[ddaengju]

soft pink archive moodboard for @lovecatcher 💖💞

#i meant to get this done on valentines day but somehow it’s been over a week :-) #ily bestie #😘 #for jm #moodboard #i know i’m basically just takin your posts and putting them in a simple lil 3x3 photoset but still dhsjshdjkfkd #also. i’m sorry for not putting credits bc i’m doing this on mobile and it’s difficult for me! #pink aesthetic #pinkcore #lovecore #heartcore #pink

[sleepgarden]

Tapestry/Needlepoint commissions are now open! I’m opening 2 slots. I am selecting by interest first (as i am easing into commission work again) thank you for understanding. This is my first time using a google form so i really hope it works. If you have any trouble please let me know!

Here is the google form! ♡

#I feel like I’ve forgotten something. #Pricing these was so so difficult honestly. There are so many variables. #I hope this isn’t too complicated ! #Okay if i remember something later I’ll come back and add it. But i have been setting this up for the last 5 days it was. Super tiring lol.

[coolnonsenseworld]

I've been having brachial plexus related problems and can't draw temporarily :') BUT HERE IS A REMINDER ABOUT THE PRE-ORDER for the desk mat, charm, bookmark, lanyard, and these washi cuties, before I get better <3

linktr.ee/mezzy

#klance #Go grab them #so I can afford another physiotherapist visit ahah...haha..... #its a joke go grab them if you like them #im already feeling a bit better #though last time i said that it got worse so #im apprehensive to decide im back but i dont plan any more physio visits currently #i miss drawing its been fucking devastating skull emoji #but ive got my priority task list at the ready oncw my arm stops being difficult #thumb up emoji #btw there was a day ive been showing thumbs up instictievely to my partner instead of answering verbally and its a meme in this house now

[beaft]

well, it's happened - i've got my referral, booked a consultation for top surgery, and will be seeing my chosen doctor next week to discuss options. (!!!!!)

if you'd like to help me out, there's a link to my paypal in my pinned post. 3 people have donated so far, which is lovely and extremely generous, but i'm still going to be struggling as this is basically gonna clean out all my savings and also leave me unable to work for at least 2 weeks - so any and all help is appreciated 💕

#i did not think i would ever get to this point #now i'm here i sort of feel like a dog that's been let off its lead in a big field #everything in my life is incredibly stressful and difficult atm so it's nice to have something to look forward to 🥰 #be shh now #also shoutout to the people who donated fr i am so grateful... love you #you made my day