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ajvocals43 · 2 years

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Birthday

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Word Count: 1200

Warnings: Fluff, Dean (yes, a warning for him here)

Summary: A small, after celebration celebration of Dean’s birthday.

A/N: Full disclosure, I wrote this on his birthday this year but completely forgot to post it. So here ya go!

Possible prequel

“Surprise!” The lights in the kitchen of the bunker flipped on to reveal Sam, Bobby, Cas, Jack, Mary, and Charlie surrounded by just about a thousand birthday decorations including a giant banner that read “Happy Birthday Dean”. I watched Dean’s face light up at the sight of all of his friends and family here to celebrate his special day.

“Wow. You guys didn't have to do all this for me. Thank you!” Dean said, looking around in amazement. I knew this was a surprise for him, that anyone would do something for him without asking. He was always the one to take care of all of us, this was the least I could do.

“Don't thank us. This is all Y/n’s doing.” Mary said, gesturing back towards me.

Dean turned around to look at me, shocked. “You did all of this?”

“Well, not just me. Everyone helped.” He was still staring at me and I started to doubt whether he actually liked the party. “Do you like it?”

Before my thoughts could continue their downward spiral, his lips fell on mine softly. It was a quick kiss but still filled with love. He pulled apart and told me, “You're amazing.” It was his version of ‘I love you’.

I couldn't help but smile at that, especially when his grew brighter as Charlie yelled, “Let’s get this party started!” I pushed him towards our family and let him enjoy his party. After all he’d been through, he needed this. Nothing to worry about, no one to save. Just time to be with his family and be happy. We talked, played a couple of games, and ate. I of course made pies because I wouldn’t have been a good girlfriend if I hadn't. I'll never forget the look on Dean’s face that night as he relaxed. Well, as much as was possible for a full time hunter but still. He was happy. Truly happy. And that was something I would always take pride in bringing him.

It was a great time, there wasn't a moment where I ever saw him upset or worried. I was so happy to bring him that kind of joy. The whole night I watched him be surrounded by those he loves, and I knew that I would never forget this night.

It was a long time before everyone decided to turn in for the night. I didn't mind staying behind to clean the dishes and decorations after everyone except Sam and Dean had gone to bed. They were having their typical brother moment somewhere else in the bunker while I cleaned up. Before I got started though, I went to Dean and I’s room to grab the speaker that Dean had gotten me for my birthday.

As I returned to the kitchen to begin cleaning, I connected my phone and began playing a random station on Pandora. I hummed a little with the songs as I went through and cleaned up the bunker. By the time Dean came back, telling me Sam had gone to bed, I was finishing up with the dishes.

“Perfect timing, I'm almost done.” I said without turning as I heard his heavy footsteps come down the hallway.

He didn't say anything, and I was about to turn around to face him when arms wrapped around my waist. I tensed as the arms pulled me back against a chest but I relaxed when I recognized his scent. I leant back into the comfort of his arms and couldn't help my sigh of content.

He bent down slightly to kiss my check softly before whispering, “You remembered.”

I smiled before saying “Of course I did.” I leaned my head back slightly to make eye contact with him. “How could I forget? You're the best thing that’s happened to me.” He blushed slightly at that and I could tell that even since he’s been with me, he's still not used to people actually acknowledging and appreciating all that he does for us.

Just then the song changed. I heard the opening notes of Chris Stapleton’s Tennessee Whiskey and smiled.

“What?” He asked.

“Nothing. I just… I love this song.” I sighed. But then he pulled back from me. I immediately missed his warmth. I turned around to ask what was happening but before I could he held his hand out to me.

“Dance with me?” He asked.

“What happened to no chick flick moments?” I teased.

He rolled his eyes before he said, “I think I can make an exception.” With that he pulled me into his arms, so close I could feel his heartbeat and I could lay my head against his shoulder. “Just this once.” He added. With that, we started to sway softly to the music.

We swayed in comfortable silence until the chorus hit and he started to sing softly in my ear:

You're as smooth

As tennessee whiskey

You're as sweet

As strawberry wine

You're as warm as a glass of brandy

And honey I stay stoned

On your love

All the time

He went back to humming as we continued swaying softly in the kitchen. I couldn't imagine a more perfect moment. Later, as the instrumental kicked in, he pulled his head back slightly. I looked up at him, silently asking what he was thinking?

“Thank you.”

“It was my pleasure. It was great to see you happy again.”

“This was truly amazing. I don't deserve you.”

“Dean, you deserve this and so so much more. You do so much for all of us, I can't even begin to thank you. I know you don't see it all the time but the one that's amazing here is you. I'm so grateful that I met you and that you're a part of my life.” I smiled. Instead of answering, he leaned down and kissed me. Softly, slowly. It was pure love. It said everything that he couldn't. When he pulled back, I rested my head back against his shoulder as he said - more to himself than me - “Amazing”.

This time, I sang to him:

You're as smooth

As tennessee whiskey

You're as sweet

As strawberry wine

You're as warm

As a glass of brandy

Honey I stay stoned

On your love

All the time

And then he joined me. The song became a soft duet, written for the two of us.

You're as smooth

As tennessee whiskey

Tennessee whiskey

You're as smooth

As tennessee whiskey

Tennessee whiskey

Then the song ended and we slowly followed suit. I had to admit, I never wanted that moment to end. I could've stayed, swaying in his embrace for eternity and never have gotten tired. I loved this man with all my heart and I couldn't wait to see where the future would take us. I knew that no matter what happened, I would always have this perfect moment on this perfect day.

We went through the bunker, doing the last checks to make sure it was secure and all the lights had been turned off, eventually meeting back at our bedroom. As we laid down to sleep, I had to tell him one last time.

“Happy Birthday Dean.”

Masterlist

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storiesofsvu · 2 years

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Jackie Sharp NSFW HC's

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex) Jackie’s *incredibly* needy post sex, whether she’s just absolutely railed you into oblivion, or she’s the one completely wrecked, she’s so touchy. Pulling you tight to her, letting you rest your head on her chest while she plays with your hair. Or if she’s simply done for, just adorable little whine, wraps herself around you, nuzzling as deep into your embrace as she can get.

B = Body part (your favourite body part of theirs and theirs of yours) You absolutely adore her legs, and the curve of her hips/ass. She’ll purposely flaunt both in the sky high stilettos and pencil skirts around the white house. Jackie has an incredible soft spot for your neck and collarbone, wishing that she could actually mark you on either, but knows you’ll put up a fight if she does.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically) When she’s in her Daddy Jackie moods, she absolutely loves to breed you, filling you until you can’t take it anymore. Otherwise she doesn’t like to get too messy, if you’re fucking her, she’s more than okay with you finishing in her mouth so she can swallow it down mess free.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs) homegirl’s got a size kink. Like, you cannot tell me otherwise. She took one look at 6’2 Remy Danton and said “yes. I want that one.” If you’re fucking her, she’s making sure that you’re using the biggest strap the two of you have, stretching her out and filling her up completely.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?) She’s got a very good chunk of experience, she knows what she likes, she’s tried out a number of kinks and dynamics in the bedroom/sexual relationships. I headcanon her as a switch, she can either be a full blown daddy, or she will be nothing but your very good girl, aiming to please, ready and waiting on her knees for whatever you want. It switches around depending on who she’s involved with, but also her mood.

F = Favourite position (this goes without saying) hmm…I literally thought about this for a solid 10 mins and still can’t come up with a solid answer lol. I’m gonna say riding, she likes to put on a show and be able to touch you easily/easily be touched. So riding, or just her on top fucking you.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.) it’s a bit of both. She slips into a certain mode when it comes time for sex, especially if she’s dom-ing, so it’s usually more serious, but little giggles and laughs can sneak their way in and if something humorous happens, it doesn’t ruin the moment.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect) She’s full of praise, constantly reassuring you, telling you how good you’re being, how well you’re taking it or how well you’re fucking her. If she really loves and trusts you is when she’ll let go, holding you close, breathing the same breath as you, letting her guard down as her eyes flutter shut, little tender kisses pressed to each other’s skin, whispers of I love you dancing through the air.

J = Jack off (masturbation head canon) multiple toys, for various tasks. she’s either a before bed or before getting in the shower/while in the shower. She uses the self sessions a lot for destressing, or playtime where videos/pictures/audios are sent to you.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks) kinda already covered this, but the daddy kink is there, (and can go both ways), and the size kink. Also has a soft spot for the pet name puppy, and isn’t afraid of buying her partner a collar, or wearing one herself.

L = Location (favourite places to do the do) she prefers the boring places such as a bedroom, but that’s simply because it’s the easiest, it’s where the toys are, the large as fuck bed has enough space to play around on, to have other’s join in on. But she’s never going to say no to office sex, and like all of our smutty politicians, she’s got a craving for the oval office that she can’t quite fix.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going) hear me out….it’s feeling the wave of love wash over her when she looks at her partner, especially when she’s proud of something they’ve done, whether work or otherwise related in their life. She wants to remind them how proud she is, show them how good they are, and reward them for it. She’s incredibly passionate.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs) knife play, blood play, anything con non con.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.) I like to think that she prefers giving, it’s her way to submit easily, but also please you and give you orgasms, which are some of her favourite things. I mean lets be real, homegirl literally says “I wanna taste you first” canologically so…there ya go. She also definitely knows what she’s doing, and isn’t afraid to go all out and this is where she doesn’t mind getting a little messy.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.) combo of both. If she’s rough, it’s more the dirty talk, and the deep heavy thrusts that are the rough part, or a hand around the neck, or pulling at the hair. She’s still slower while she’s fucking you or riding you until she’s chasing her own orgasm then she’ll pick up.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.) enjoys them, moreso in the heat of the moment where one of you is wearing something that the other simply can’t keep hands from straying. Back of the car on the way to an event, in a private bathroom or office at said event/work.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.) she’s got an image to uphold, but also, doesn’t care too much. She’ll fuck you in her office, but you’ve got to be quiet, discreet about the entire thing.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?) she can basically go all night, and is always prepared for multiple rounds. Her ideal day off is one with absolutely nothing to do but each other. Little breaks for water, coffee, snacks and cuddles in between that lead back into lazy fucking, they’re just the best.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?) she owns more than a few, some to use on herself, some to use on you, some that get used on both, or swapped around depending on who’s involved. U = Unfair (how much they like to tease) her teasing is usually pre getting in the bedroom. The sultry voice, lingering glances or touches, comments about how nice you look, what a good girl you are, things that she knows are driving you wild and getting you going so that you’re practically dripping by the time she gets you undressed.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.) she’s not overly loud. While on the receiving end, she’s more breathy panting and moans, little gasps and the like. While she’s on the giving end, it’s more dirty talk and praise that’s coming out, urging you to be the one making more noise

W = Wild card (a random head canon for the character) I’ve literally given like 3 extra ones already but i'll toss this one in her. I headcanon Jackie has being pretty open/fluid. she'll switch when it comes to dom/sub-ing, and I also think she's pretty open to who she dates, whether you wanna call that bi or pan is up to you, and tbh that might just be because i ADORE her with Remy, but like, she also totally got fucked by Heather....

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes) she’s gorgeous.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?) a little higher than preferred with the amount of work she constantly has to do. But it also depends on who her partner at the moment is, and can fluctuate based on that, she’ll usually settle around where their desire is and things work out. It’s also why she has the plethora of toys, 98% of the time it’s easier to pull out a toy and get it done quick and move on to whatever’s next on the list.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards) this one depends on what dynamic she had in the bedroom. If she’s receiving and is completely and utterly destroyed afterwards, she’s probably going to be asleep pretty quickly. Otherwise she’s gonna have a nice little cuddle, pressing soft kisses to your skin until you both drift off.

_______________________ @ms-calhoun @naturalxselection @yesterdaysgone @hbkpop @svulife-rl @jamiethetrans @natasha-danvers @imlike-so-gaydude @gay-ass-bitch @oliviaswifey @mysticfalls01 @bumblebear30 @molllss @solemnnova @svushots @yourtaletotell @cerberus-spectre @emskisworld @ex-uallyactive @addictedtodinosaurs @imaginaryoperagloves @lustvolle-liebe @samwithnoplan @multifandomlesbianic @swimmingstudentchaos891 @drduckthief @whimsicallymad @alexusonfire @mmmmokdok @muscatmusic18 @sia2raw @ladysc @dxtery @1-lindsay83 @mmemalwa @holycrapraewth @poisonedcrowns @wannabe-fic-reader @borg-queer

#jackie sharp #jackie sharp x reader #jackie sharp headcanons #house of cards #hoc

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autisticandroids · 2 years

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Fic about Destiel dysfunction told through the framing device of Jack's future therapy sessions.

OH BOY. OH I DON'T WANNA WRITE THIS BECAUSE IT SOUNDS HARD BUT I WANNA READ IT SOOOOOOOO BAD.

wait. scratch that. i actually do have a fic that i've tossed around writing (but probably won't actually write) that's like. a sequel to "i fold in half so easily." like i won't write it because i like where that fic leaves off and i don't want to fix it in some cheap way. like i LIKE where that fic leaves off, and fixing it for any of them would cheapen it. let them all rot in self-imposed hells forever.

HOWEVER. hypothetically. if i were to do the long, grueling work of fixing at least some of the characters in that fic. well. i've thought about it.

- first off. jack has to come back. like you can't actually fix anything about i fold in half so easily if jack doesn't come back. because nothing short of jack's return would convince cas to change anything, and nothing short of making amends to jack would convince cas to like. value himself. anyway. jack comes back. he just sort of materializes near the site of kelly's cabin. he doesn't remember the last couple years because he has a sam-in-season-six style trauma wall in his head.

- anyway. jack materializes, and he just. calls cas. on a payphone. and cas is like. okay jack. stay right there. don't leave. don't call sam or dean. i'm coming to get you. and cas just. doesn't say a word to sam or dean. makes sure they don't see him leave. hops in his truck. and drives 25 hours straight to the west coast.

- he finds jack just sitting under a tree, waiting, exactly where he said he'd be. and so they hug. and cas cries. and he gets jack in the truck. they drive, and they don't talk. or cas doesn't. jack asks a fine questions, to which cas give noncommittal, monosyllabic answers. until finally jack just says i'm hungry, and cas pulls off the highway, and they go to a diner. (the exact kind of diner the winchesters would pick.)

- when the food comes, cas eats too. he doesn't usually do that, and jack is like, are you human, now? and cas is like no. what? and jack is like. you're eating. and cas is like oh. yes. i am. i don't have to do that. so he puts down his fork, and he smiles a little at jack. jack feels like this means something significant, but he doesn't know what. he's just happy to finish cas' home fries.

- eventually, jack asks about dean, and cas actually answers. he says "dean isn't our friend anymore, jack." he doesn't elaborate.

- the thing about cas is that he knows that dean has done something bad. he even partly knows what that thing is. and he knows he needs to keep dean away from jack. but he can't really name that, out loud. this is partly because he can't bring himself to speak ill of dean, even now, especially not in front of jack. it's partly because he himself cannot fully grasp the nature of the harm done: he knows that dean is a threat to jack's physical safety, that's something he can wrap his head around. but dean has also harmed cas terribly, in the emotional sense, and he has no idea how to conceptualize that, much less put it into words. furthermore, he is afraid dean might have done something similar to jack, and that terrifies him so much that he can't look at it. and lastly, cas can't bring himself to unpack his own complicity in how dean has hurt jack, especially not in front of jack. so he is rendered speechless. he can't talk about why they're not friends with dean anymore, only that they aren't. cas is extremely capable of thinking about things and is NOT trying very hard not to reconsider anything that's happened in the past five years or so

- anyway. for a few months cas and jack live in a series of cars, driving up and down the coast. cas keeps ditching them and stealing new ones. he also ditches his cellphone. this is all to keep the winchesters from tracking them, because cas is like. intensely paranoid about that. but he doesn't explain this to jack.

- anyway. after like, a few months of this. jack is like. my dad is acting really weird. he's clearly freaked out about something but he won't TALK to me. i think there are?? problems?? apparently you're supposed to work on problems in therapy. so he calls dr. vallens and makes an appointment.

- dr. vallens is like. i am a GRIEF counselor. however. since you saved my life that one time and obviously desperately need my help. and also i see my past self in you. maybe we can do weekly sessions.

- so. cas and jack settle down in wisconsin. and get therapy with dr. vallens. and horrify her with various things about their lives and relationships.

examples:

cas and jack originally getting like family therapy together but cas simply Will Not talk in front of jack so she ends up having to separate them

dr. vallens voice if you want to lessen the negative impact on jack you're going to have to say something negative to him about dean at some point. cas voice but i don't want to ruin his attachment to his father dr. vallens voice you're the one who went no contact with the winchesters. cas voice but. but.

cas confessing to his many crimes and her having to leave the room and hyperventilate

cas explaining that he doesn't really know how money works, and had to throw away his cellphone because it might have a tracking app, but doesn't know how to buy a new one, and doesn't know how to rent an apartment, and mia being like. Hm. well. hm.

dr. vallens: castiel, you're not a child- wait, actually, are you a child in angel terms? cas: angels don't have an equivalent of childhood. we were created at the beginning of time fully as we are and carefully kept at we were created, having our minds pruned of undesirable thoughts to prevent any sort of serious change dr. vallens: .......okay- cas: dean has compared me to a child many times when he was angry. perhaps i am equivalent to a child in human terms? dr. vallens: i don't think that's why he did that

cas telling mia about claire, and incidentally explaining that he's actually piloting a corpse, and mia having to go throw up

cas explaining that angels are in fact real but that they've basically wiped themselves out in civil wars over the last decade or so

eventually they ARE going to have to like. re-encounter the winchesters. because jack wants to see them, and cas can only refuse him for so long. absolutely no idea how that's going to go though.

#spn #asks #death-star510

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sortasirius · 3 years

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What the Fuck Happened to the SPN Finale?

Okay so here it is, my Charlie Kelly style manifesto.

Before I get into it, I recognize that I will look like this to many of you, and that’s okay, I understand:

Secondly, your personal Takes about the writers don’t interest me, I don’t need to hear them. This, as I’ll explain, is going to remain a writer positive blog, and that’s the end of it.

Third, and most importantly: some of what I’m going to talk about is fact, and some is highly educated speculation. I will notate what is speculation, just so there’s no confusion or hot takes in my inbox that I’m a conspiracy theorist or stirring shit up for no reason.

A list of what I’ll be discussing

The episode in regards to the rest of the season

The episode issues: length, editing

Scene placement and speculation of scenes cut

The scrubbing of Jack, Cas, Eileen

Network involvement and general timeline of when things were cut

Misha: theories on where he was, official company line, why we can’t expect to hear anything directly

The silence of the cast post episode (in Misha’s case, mid episode) and what this might mean

Jensen speaking with Kripke about the ending: why it doesn’t mean what you might think (also why kripke remained positive on the ending)

Walker, and why this episode had a major shift

Why the network would do this or get involved

Why the writers of the show simply aren’t the bad guys here, and what I “want” out of this post, since I know it’ll get asked

This is very long and under a cut, but I hope you’ll give it a read.

The Episode In Regards to the Rest of the Season

So, I’ve discussed this already here, but it’s the most obvious thing to me, and that’s the way this episode simply doesn’t fit with the rest of the season.

These people in this room have, truly, been nothing but consistent when it comes to their arcs, especially this season, and the marked dropoff in quality for the finale episode is just too sus to discount to me. Dabb’s whole focus has been character-based. In his seasons, we’ve moved far away from MOTW and bro-codependency, the found family taking it’s place. Does it really sit right to anyone that that was all thrown away in literally the last episode of the entire show?

This is speculation on my part, but as a writer myself, there is no way I would be happy or willing to stamp my name on something that I didn’t think would, at the very least, wrap up the season+ character arcs that I and my team had been crafting.

And before anyone comes in here saying, “well GOT did that!” Bruh. The writing was on the wall for GOT long before the final episode. You could tell that the showrunners just wanted to be done (not only from the plot, but from the fact that they lobbied for a shorter season). Miss me with that, it doesn’t apply here. Andrew has, besides Singer and J2, been with the show longer than anyone. He cares, he is meticulous and detailed, and this ending feels worse than anything Bucklemming has ever written, let alone Dabb.

Additionally, I’ve seen a lot of people say that Dabb was never behind Destiel, that it was all Bobo and Meredith and no one else. That is reductive to the point of insult of the work Dabb has done to get this greenlit. This man did not write the s13 Dean grief arc to be slandered like this. That being said, YES, Bobo and Meredith were the leads on the DeanCas arc this season, but ANDREW IS THE SHOWRUNNER, TO GET EVEN THE CONFESSION APPROVED BY THE NETWORK HE WOULD HAVE TO HAVE THEIR BACKS. AND HE DID.

Finale Issues

So, now that we’ve gotten the fact that this episode doesn’t hit on any of the major themes the show was barrelling towards all season, let’s discuss the fact that the episode is just...weird.

Not only is it shorter than any other episode (I think with the intro and the credits/crew thing at the end, it was around 38 mins), but it was also...idk, 90% filler?

One of the lovely humans in the POLOL server did the legwork here, and broke it down:

This is weird, y’all. Most series finales are LONGER than normal (Lost, SOA, Longmire are the ones I can think of off the top of my head), and for the final episode to be this? I saw more than one person point out that we only really needed 19 episodes, what was the point of 20? AND THAT’S EXACTLY IT? WHAT WAS THE POINT OF THIS FINAL EPISODE IF THIS WAS ALL WE WERE SUPPOSED TO GET?

It simply doesn’t make any sense, the first half of the episode was rushed, a final monster hunt gone wrong, but in the second half? Nothing really happened? Sam lived his entire life and Dean just drove around. It doesn’t make sense to have all the emotional arcs left unaddressed in an episode that definitely needed some kind of spark.

Here’s the speculation I have: the episode seemingly went through a lot of changes between the initial inception of the final season and when we actually got it, but I think it would have been passable (as in, we wouldn’t be sitting here asking each other why each arc feels incomplete) until the editing room got ahold of it. The only think that makes this episode make sense is network fuckery. Truly, that is the only thing. It explains the weird, cuts, the rushed pacing of the first half followed by nothing in the second half, the double montages of “Wayward Son” back to back, and Dean just...driving around for the last half of the episode.

Scene Placement and Speculation of Scenes Cut

Before I get into this section, the info of the shots in the episode I have come from a source that @occamshipper got a week or so before the finale. She’s talked about this here.

So here’s what Min was given:

1-5: 1 INT MEN OF LETTERS – DEAN’S ROOM Dean is greeted by Miracle

6-10: 6 INT MEN OF LETTERS – HALLWAY/SAM’S ROOM Sam has his routine

D1 1 11-15: 15 EXT FARM HOUSE Establishing

N1 1/8 16-20: 19 Dad’s journal, marker, drawing of masked man in journal.

21-25: 23 INT IMPALA – PMP Driver picks the music

N2 1 3/8 1,2 26-30: 28pt2 INT BARN: A face from the past

28pt3 Sam and Dean say goodbye

28pt4 Shot early for technical reasons, presumably the overhead shot

N2 31-45: 41 INT MEN OF LETTERS – SAM’S ROOM Sam’s alarm goes off D4 1/8 1 46-60: 56 INT N7glasses for Sam, laptop.

So...it all fits right? It all tracks with the actual episode, where it lands, etc. The issue is between shots 29-40 which were apparently “too big to spoil.” Uh. Where are they? And where’s 28 pt4?

After Dean dies, the next scene is Sam burning him, then shot 31, the shot of his alarm going off.

So. Where are those 11ish shots?

PLUS we have the boards, which are scenes we KNOW were actually shot:

As well as scenes for 20 that were shot in 19.

It’s just...weird, it’s weird and again hits on the fact that the episode is so short and like 80% montage.

The Scrubbing of Jack, Cas, and Eileen

So now we have to reckon with the fact that Eileen was last mentioned by Sam after she got snapped by Chuck, Jack’s last mention is that he’s off being God somewhere, and Cas’ last mention is a ~knowing look~ between Dean and Bobby.

I’m sorry, make it make sense:

???????? That’s the end if it? They don’t need to be discussed after this??? It’s just simply not something a writer would do, they would not introduce these characters, these arcs, without thinking there’s going to be some kind of follow through here.

So not only were three major characters (including two leads and both of the original characters’ love interests) completely wiped from the finale episode, it was as though Sam and Dean never even needed them, which just...ain’t it.

So why Eileen and Jack too? Why not just take Cas out of it if they were afraid of the gay? Because, ultimately, the episode went back to Kripke’s original story: just the bros, they only need each other and no one else. They don’t want anyone else, they don’t need anyone else. Easier to go back to something they knew was successful than trust the writers and their audience and take a big leap.

Alex even said he shot for 20 with “some of the guys” here. What happened to that footage?

The complete 180 of it all still shocks me, I still cannot believe that we were essentially at the finish line, and the network just stopped short, and decided to go run another race, at the expense of the arc of this fifteen year legacy show.

Network Involvement and When Things Were Cut

Okay, now into the juicy stuff.

So I’ve pretty well established that network fuckery is clear, but how much did they get involved, what was the original intent?

Well again, we may never actually know what Andrew’s original script was, but I think, at the least, it would involve Dean speaking his truth to Cas and Sam living a life with Eileen.

Now, it seems today, that Misha said that Jimmy Novak was supposed to be in the finale in one iteration of the script, and while initially my brain was like “that truly makes no sense and he’s either straight up lying or telling a half truth,” I think what may be happening is Misha talking about as much as he can right now.

So Jimmy right. Weird as fuck. Why would he been in the Roadhouse and not Cas? My current thought (this is about as reachy as I’ll get) is that Jimmy had no lines, could he have been in the Roadhouse as a red herring, like it said “Jimmy” in the script but it was just Cas in human clothes, a way to get around the network saying Cas couldn’t be in the final scene. Also, you’ll notice that Misha didn’t say that Cas wasn’t supposed to be in the ep at all, just Jimmy in the last scene.

All this to say, there have clearly been multiple versions of the script, getting lighter and lighter with Cas and Eileen as the network pulled further and further back. Remember, Dabb has to get things approved before they get shot, and if the network kept asking and asking and asking to cut Cas and Eileen, he had to find a way to work around it. Granted, I still think that if we had been able to get a Dabb script that wasn’t torn to shreds in editing, it wouldn’t be so bad. It may not be what a lot of us wanted (Dean speaking his truth to Cas and a reciprocation), but doing everything he could to give it to us in subtext or visual clues.

Plus, in all honesty, my man can’t keep his story straight anyway. He said twice in his panel that the Empty and offscreen Heaven ending weren’t his original ending either.

In addition, remember that Jensen did ADR post episode 18, AND said in a meet and greet last weekend that Dean’s reaction to Cas’ confession was “cut down.” (Source here). Many of us clowns got excited when we first heard about ADR, because we thought it would be upping the ante on Dean’s reaction, but I remember being a little sus when it was just crying. My speculation on that is that they cut out Dean actually SAYING something, @winchestersingerautorepair spoke about that here.

The biggest sins were, in my opinion, committed during editing, where the network got too gun shy and sliced the episode until it was nothing but a heartless bro-fest of a finale, not mentioning anything about the other major characters that we all love, and letting the boys just suffer in separation until Sam died and finally joined Dean in Heaven. The editing came by cutting all the major emotional beats between anyone other than Dean and Sam, leaving the skeleton of the story intact, just shorter and less...poignant than it was ever supposed to be.

Misha

We know Misha was in Vancouver, we know he quarantined, but we also know he wasn’t in the final scene, when he spoke about being in the last moment of the show months ago. We were not crazy, he was there, he quarantined, and, in all likelihood (speculation but fitting with the timeline), he actually may have shot something (not much, but something).

I have sources here, here, here, and here showing where Misha was at that time.

Remember, the man was completely open about coming back until they finished shooting (look at this thread). The switch happened, just like everything else, halfway through them shooting.

Please also remember Jake Abel posting his “Where’s Misha” video here. Jake isn’t malicious, he isn’t being nasty here. Misha was there, and everyone that’s trying to convince people he’s wasn’t just...isn’t telling the truth about it.

This is one of the things that makes me really mad, because they’re literally attempting to gaslight people into thinking, “oh we were totally wrong he was never supposed to be there” WHEN HE WAS THERE, WE KNOW HE WAS THERE.

So we’ve already heard from several people (Meghan Fitzmartin, Jay, a PA on the set of 19 (WHO WAS NOT WORKING FOR 20), Misha himself) that this was all down to Covid restrictions. Ultimately, as this post says, we’ve heard FIVE versions of where Misha was. None of it makes sense, but the Covid protocol seems to be the company line that others are repeating.

You may ask: why? Why lie to all of us when we have questions? Why, in Jay’s case, say that we’re all spreading false lies to stir up trouble, when we just have questions and things that do not make sense. Simply? Warner Brothers is absolutely massive. These people have their careers to protect and are likely all under NDAs. They want to work for WB again and don’t want to burn bridges, including Misha. It sucks, but that’s why it’s unlikely that we’ll hear someone come out and say, “yeah we’re lying to you.”

Silence of the Cast Post Episode

So this is...probably the worst part of all this, at least in my opinion.

The guys had all been pretty excited about the end of the show (especially Jared, but Jensen’s panel last week was Jensen as happy and jokey and positive as I’ve ever seen him. He was so excited about episode 18, about what it meant for Dean and for Cas, and I just cannot buy that he would have been that excited unless he thought there was something more in the episode.

Misha live-tweeted the episode, and was watching it with his kids. It’s well known that Misha and the kids don’t watch the show because it’s too scary, and let’s ask ourselves, why would he have them watch an episode that he’s barely even mentioned in?

He also stopped live-tweeting at a very specific point in the episode (Dean’s death) and has not mentioned Supernatural since then.

None of them, not Jared, Jensen, Misha, or even Alex, said anything about the episode for nearly 36 hours, when Jensen posted a salty photo on instagram. It’s just...not what you’d expect for the end of a 15 year show, when the cast and crew are so close to the fans, so close to each other.

My theory? They didn’t know. They thought Misha was, at least, going to be in the episode in some way, and when he wasn’t, they decided not to say anything.

You really think that Jensen “Heller” Ackles would have been so excited about the end of the show last week if he thought Cas wasn’t going to be in it at all? Nah son, doesn’t make any sense.

Even today, in Jared and Misha’s panels, they seemed sad and...more than a little careful, both saying that there were things they couldn’t say, both talking around things that we all have questions on.

Jensen Speaking with Kripke

So this is where a lot of people are getting fodder to take shots at the writers, saying that Jensen hated it from the beginning, but I don’t think so. I actually think I know what Jensen went to him about, and it wasn’t the lack of Cas or the weird pacing or the montages (which I don’t think were there when Jensen got the script); I think it was the manner of Dean’s death.

I know a lot of people were upset about that, upset with how...normal it was, coming off an episode where they literally beat God. I actually didn’t mind it, I thought it was an interesting thematic take to be like: you can be a hero all your life, but sometimes shit happens, and you just die.

But imagine how hard that was for Jensen to read. He would run to Kripke for that, because for him, Dean dying by being impaled by a piece of rebar had to be tough to swallow.

So, why didn’t Kripke say that? Why didn’t he say, “oh well he had a problem with Dean’s death, none of that other stuff was in the script.”

Guys. Why would he get involved? He’s not going to burn bridges any more than anyone else is. He said the ending was good because it’s the easy thing to do, it’s simple, will cause him no problems in his career, and he can just ignore the people trying to engage with him on it.

Walker

Something else to talk about is the major shift this episode had from the rest of the season: the shift from Dean to Sam. I am NOT saying that Sam isn’t important, he definitely, absolutely is, but it was DEAN who really needed to wrap up his arc, Sam just needed to move on, get married to Eileen, become the leader he was always meant to. So what changed? What was with the shirtless scene, the Austin number and random case there, most of the episode being heavily Sam focused, going through his entire life in a montage?

Anyone else notice the 375 Walker promos, or Jared’s little spiel about Walker and how he hoped SPN fans would “come along for the ride.”

It’s...kinda obvious? CW wanted to appeal to who they think the key demographic of SPN and Walker is: rural areas in the South. It would explain a lot, why so much editing, why so Sam focused, the Austin number, the number of Walker promos, all of it.

I’m not saying this is fact, I don’t know that it is, but it is a little suspicious that even in Jared’s panel today, he talked A LOT about Walker and how he hopes SPN fans will watch it.

Why Would the Network Get Involved?

Simply put: $$$

If they think Walker can be the new SPN, and that those crazy SPN fans liked it originally, it’s a lot safer to go with the “original intent” of the show than do something risky (like making one of your two original leads queer).

And? They don’t care. They don’t care that the episode didn’t make sense, they don’t care that all the emotional arcs were left hanging, they don’t care by (potentially) smashing together two of Dean’s monologues (one to Sam, one to Cas) that it came of as...gross. ( @curioussubjects wrote a beautiful post showing how part of that death speech was likely meant for Dean here). They don’t care, they never have, they just want to make their money and move on from the too-loud fandom that fought for representation too hard for too long.

It can’t help but feel insidious, which, honestly, it might be, but it really all comes down to the next cash cow, which, they think, is Walker, even at the cost of the fifteen year legacy show.

The Writers and What I Want

So here it is, all this weird, sus shit laid out on the line. And you know what? To me, there is no way to blame the writers, because they didn’t want this.

I don’t think Dabb and Bobo would have gone ahead with the confession in 18 without thinking that there would be some closure to that arc, they wouldn’t have done that not only to the fans, but for the sake of their own story as well: no writer wants to start something that they can’t finish. (And this applies to both Cas and Eileen).

Here’s a basic rundown of what I think happened: they had a clear arc from 18-20, ending in reciprocation at some level from Dean, Sam marrying Eileen, Hunter Sam as the new Bobby, Dean in heaven with Cas and big roadhouse reunion at the end. Covid prevented a good amount of that. Network had to stare at big gay 18 for six months, got cold feet. Thought about Walker, target audience and alienation of the rural areas if it went full gay. Misha quarantined and likely shot something (not much), he was then cut by execs and went home. They likely added in lines referencing Eileen and Cas to make it clear but more subtextual. They wrap, editing gets it and hacks it to pieces, so we get a shorter episode that’s mostly montages and jarringly bro-centric with nothing else. Arcs are left hanging. Dabb gets episode but it’s too late, there’s nothing he can do. Actors aren’t told so they can continue to do positive PR for the ending, they all found out at the same time we did: hence almost complete silence about the finale.

And you know what? They warned us. I talked about it here, but they’ve been telling us all season that Chuck wasn’t the writer, he’s the network. I don’t think, still, that they thought it would be cut up like this, into something so unsalvageable that it’s been panned by almost everyone, even people who didn’t care much about Dean and Cas.

Finally, a masterpiece can be ruined by editing, and while I’m not sure even the script they ended up shooting on was a masterpiece (due to the network meddling already), but to me it’s blatantly obvious that it’s no one but the network that caused this, that took away closure for Dean, Cas, and even Sam.

So what do I want? Nothing really, there’s nothing we can do, but I wrote this mostly to show people that the writers are not your enemy. In fact, to the people trashing them? You’re doing exactly what the CW wants you to: blame the obvious targets, blame Misha, blame Jensen and Jared, blame Dabb. Scream and yell at them on Twitter and about how the show is ruined because of them. The network keeps their engagement levels high, they don’t get as targeted for their behavior, and just keep moving along.

Just, please, think about who did this, Mourn the show, be angry, but not at the people who fought tooth and nail for this for literal years, not the people who wanted it more than we did, not the people who cannot say anything because of their careers and the NDAs they’re bound by.

Someone is going to spill eventually, but until then, we just have to wait, and continue to be loud.

#my writing #my meta #supernatural #spn #spn finale trash fire #MY MANIFESTO IS DONE

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mishasminions · 3 years

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The Last Time I’ll Write a Long Post About Supernatural (15x18-15x20)

15 YEARS OF WATCHING THIS SHOW. 11 YEARS OF RUNNING A BLOG ABOUT IT. IT’S BEEN QUITE A RIDE.

[15x20 Speculation + evidence at the bottom]

First off, I just wanna come clean and say, after all these years, I still think they should’ve ended at Season 5.

If you’re going to come at me with “Then why’d you stick around to watch it if you didn’t like it?”, your question is immature, and the answer is simple: I just want to know what happens next (I also love the main characters and their actors too). You can watch a show and still think it’s shit.

Call me a clown, but despite all the disappointment and trust issues that this show has given me, I would still look forward to the day where it might just turn itself around and bring back the quality it once had, or realize the potential of each story it was trying to tell, or at the very least, do justice by my favorite ship.

Never happened.

They’ve had a few good episodes here and there. I can’t imagine the SPN Universe without The Man Who Would Be King, The French Mistake, and Scoobynatural. Seasons 6-10 were enjoyable at times. I blocked out most of 7 & 11-15.

If you’ve been following this blog since its heydays in 2010-2014, you’d know I’d try my best to defend Destiel and this show’s decisions regarding it no matter what.

Because you know what, as a CONCEPT, this show is good. If you take a look at all the worlds its storylines have birthed in fanfiction/fanworks, you’d see how much Supernatural has wasted its own story arcs. The writing got shittier as each season progressed, and they’ve obviously given up in production as well because the quality in the execution has noticeably gone down too, but if you take a step back and take a look at the bigger picture, you’ll see that this show still tries to make sense of itself.

[If you’re still following this post, please bear with me, I know this is long, but I just want you to understand how jaded and pessimistic I am with regards to this show, so maybe you can buy into whatever hopeful thing I’m about to say later on.]

SO LET’S TALK ABOUT DESTIEL

Never in my wildest dreams did I think that they would give us Castiel’s “I love you” speech. To the point where, if I weren’t so desperate for it, I would argue that it was completely out of character for him to word vomit the way he did (but I’m not gonna diss on that right now because I’ll take what I can get).

I’ve valued every meaningful and obscure exchange that Dean and Cas have had in the earlier seasons, and I was willing to accept their relationship as just that--undefined, without any clear boundaries as to what they really are. And I think that was beautiful on its own.

But now, they’ve chosen to define it.

After they’ve driven every possible wedge between Dean and Castiel in seasons 11-15, to try to explain away their feelings as something they offer to a collective.

Dean can’t mourn and pray for JUST Cas, he has to mourn and pray for EVERYBODY--even Crowley, even some chick he just met, because god forbid he cries about just the guy who has given up everything for him--that would be “too homo”.

They’ve even set Cas on a path to abrupt fatherhood just so he can care about something other than Dean. Make it seem as if Dean wasn’t his purpose through and through.

And after all these years of this stupid show trying to deny it, they choose to acknowledge it at the worst possible circumstance, at a time where they’ve been so far apart, that it seems so foreign for them to suddenly come together.

But here we are. And they’ve chosen to tell us.

Chosen to tell us that everything that Castiel has done leading up to his death, he has done it because he was IN LOVE WITH DEAN WINCHESTER.

Chosen to tell us that the ONE THING THAT WOULD MAKE CAS HAPPY IS DEAN WINCHESTER.

Chosen to tell us that BEING WITH DEAN WINCHESTER is something that CAS WANTS BUT KNOWS HE CAN’T HAVE.

And they’ve also chosen to tell us nothing about how Dean feels.

Sure, finding out your angel made a deal, the stipulations of said deal, his newfound happiness philosophy, his long-winded monologue of why he loves you and why you’re worthy of his love, and to top it all off he tells you that being in love with you is enough to make him happy while he subtly hints that he’s always wanted to be WITH you romantically, was a lot to process in the 5 minutes after you’ve just had an existential crisis.

It’s whatever, right? Let’s culminate 11 years worth of tension and feelings in 5 minutes. Let’s waste the entire episode with cringey expository dialogue, and irrelevant sequences. The whole season was a waste anyway.

You know what Supernatural? FUCK YOU FOR THAT. They deserved better. WE deserve better.

And I would love nothing more than to hurl every possible insult your way,

But for the last time, I’m going to HOPE that you’re finally going to try to make it better for the fans that stuck by you all these years.

No more baiting new viewers, no more placating casual viewers, no more excuses. 15 years. Bring it home for the people who have actually been around.

SO HERE’S HOW I THINK 15x20 IS GONNA GO

There’s two ways this series is gonna end. Horribly or Spectacularly.

First let’s all take into consideration what Andrew Dabb says about it:

So, let’s start with

ENDING HORRIBLY

In this scenario, Misha is telling the truth about his last day of filming being 15x18. His “camping trip” during the last few days of filming 15x20, was actually a camping trip. He doesn’t go to Vancouver to shoot.

Jensen wasn’t “being careful” during the zoom interviews that it was just him and Jared quarantining for the shoot, it really was just him and Jared (althought most of these were done pre 15x19) Supernatural isn’t smart enough to do misleading PR, and they’re once again oblivious to the potential of their own story.

Misha hasn’t posted a “Goodbye Castiel” tweet because he’s probably saving it for last episode or he forgot because it was overshadowed by the Destiel trend that night.

So what we get is:

Sam and Dean are on the road again, up against the monster of the week. Only their world no longer has actual Supernatural beings anymore, so the monsters they’re fighting are humans.

Humans end up killing the Winchesters (despite having gone up against literally every powerful being imaginable INCLUDING God himself). Dean and Sam end up in heaven and relive their greatest hits.

Meanwhile, Castiel rots in The Empty because he died after realizing that he was happy and gay. Jack doesn’t bother rescuing him—his surrogate dad, the guy who made this specific deal to spare him—even though it was so easy for him get Cas in and out of The Empty when he had a fraction of the power that he has now.

Dean never speaks of Castiel’s confession because despite all the hints of a profound bond in the earlier seasons, and the fact that Dean has never cared for anyone (who isn’t his actual brother) as immensely as he does Cas, Supernatural just can’t have its main macho character be “suddenly bisexual” because that would hurt the male ego or some shit.

His heaven would probably be living happily ever after with his family. “Family” meaning Mary and John Winchester--two of the shittiest parents ever (but they’re not going to include them in this episode like they were supposed to because of Covid) and Sam.

Sam also gets a dog. As usual.

I wouldn’t put it past Supernatural to do this. After everything they’ve pulled, this would be right up their alley. I actually expect this ending.

Anyway, onto the next possible ending

ENDING SPECTACULARLY

In this scenario, Supernatural tries to stick the landing, and Jensen’s whole “It didn’t sit well with me at first, but then I took a step back after talking to Kripke, and realized that I had to view it from an audience perspective, I am now really excited about it” (DC Con 2019) anecdote about his thoughts on the final episodes, were actually about Dean potentially ending up with Cas. (Which would totally make sense because Jensen at first didn’t see Dean as anything but hetero, but as of late, he has been throwing in Destiel jokes of his own, so he seems to have warmed up to the idea)

Backed with Misha’s tidbit (DLConline 2020) that he and Jensen had conversations about Destiel, and that they wouldn’t have gone through with it if Jensen wasn’t onboard with it, but Jensen didn’t push back at all. (Why would they need to check with Jensen if it was just Cas going all in?)

Robert Berens (writer of 15x18) also wrote the script at the beginning of Season 15, but made Misha privy to the concept a year prior (Season 14), so they went into this season knowing about Destiel going canon.

This one’s a reach, but this scenario also supposes that Misha was lying about his whereabouts during the filming of the final episode, and him saying that 15x18 was his last episode is part of the diversion to avoid taking away from the weight of Castiel’s death.

And that Supernatural is actually self-aware of its own material (similar to how they have wrapped things up in the past—lots of expository dialogue, poor execution, but fulfills the story arc)

Since Season 15 is basically a Meta Season (Chuck/God as a writer, pretentiously calling out how he created the worlds, its characters, and basically invalidating the past 14 seasons), and 15x19 is supposedly the finale for Season 15, written by two of the worst Supernatural writers, Brad Buckner and Eugenie Ross-Leming (Bob Singer’s wife), then we can assume that 15x19 is where the shitty writers kill themselves--as Chuck, of course.

So we get a badly written episode that produces a bad ending, or as Becky put it, “All action, and no Cas”

So we get the bad writers season ending at 15x19.

And 15x20 is where Sam and Dean write their own stories, and where the cast had a hand in pitching ideas for it.

Dabb has mentioned that 15x20 (Act Two) is a SERIES finale, where they try to resolve the characters’ journeys.

Because as everyone has acknowledged, Supernatural isn’t about the story, it’s about the characters.

So here’s what we can get out of it:

With no more Supernatural beings left to fight, Sam and Dean are in a stalemate. They’ve resigned themselves to fighting to the bitter end, but the “end” has passed, and they’re still standing.

So they try to figure out who they are now, and what they want out of the life they still have.

Sam still wants a normal apple pie life. Before Dean dragged him out of college to go hunting with him, he had a whole life planned out for him. Become a lawyer, settle down with a nice girl, and get a dog. He gave all that up because they had work to do, but now the work is finished, he can finally go back to wanting that for himself again.

Dean finally realizes his self-worth after Cas saves him again. His prayer to Cas in purgatory may have helped him come to terms with his anger, but the whole “you’ve done everything you did for love” speech finally put him in his place, and he learns not to hate himself anymore.

But of course, he cannot fully reconcile with himself if he doesn’t get Cas back, and tell him how he feels.

Because Dean actually wants something for himself this time. Something he knows he can finally have if he can just salvage it.

So maybe this time around, with the help of Jack (off-screen), Dean saves Cas. Grips him tight and raises him from perdition.

They bypass The Empty deal by turning Cas human, and he lives the rest of his days with Dean.

Dean and Cas know they deserve to be saved, and they know that they deserve to be happy.

(Wishful thinking, maybe they kiss a little)

Anyway...

I’m just saying, there’s NO WAY that they’d have Cas go through that whole rushed speech, if they weren’t going to do anything about it later on.

But again, after 10 years of disappointment, I wouldn’t put it past Supernatural to pat themselves on the back and say, “Okay, we sort of gave them what they wanted. We’re good now”

If that’s the case, Supernatural, I’m sorry I wasted my time on you.

Here’s to hoping 🤡

#THE LAST TIME I'LL CLOWN FOR THIS SHOW #SUPERNATURAL #DESTIEL #15x20 #15x19 #15x18 #UNTAGGED #INSIGHTFUL INSIGHTS

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hoboal87 · 3 years

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The Fear

Title: The Fear

Pairing: Dean x pregnant!Reader, minor Sam x Eileen

Characters: Dean, Sam, Reader

Summary: Dean comes home to find Y/N missing.

Word Count: 2300+

Warnings: angst with a happy ending, kidnapping, violence, fluff, pregnancy, non-graphic descriptions of childbirth, 15 x 20 adjacent.

A/N: my entry for @princessmisery666's #daily mix challenge combined with a Nonnie request.

Edit: I forgot to thank the lovely @lovealways-j for beta-reading this for me. Thanks, Sabrina!

My song is "The Fear" by The Score

My Full Masterlist

Something’s wrong.

Dean can sense it the moment he steps into his shared room with Y/N. He looks carefully around the room, trying to find a clue as to what’s got his hunter instincts in high gear. It looks no different then when he and Sam left three days ago, and yet, every bone in his body is telling him something is off.

“Y/N?” He calls out hesitantly as he makes his way towards her old room down the hall. She’d been in the process of turning it into a nursery for the last month and had a tendency to get lost in paint samples and baby supplies. As he closes in on the room, he can feel himself becoming more on edge and instinctively reaches for his gun. “Sweetheart? You in there?”

Dean’s heart sinks further into his stomach as he reaches the newly-converted nursery. The usually meticulously organized room was in a state of disarray as if there had been some sort of struggle. Dean calls out for Y/N again, willing her to give him some kind of sign that he was overreacting to what he was seeing.

He quickly pulls out his phone dialing Y/N’s number, he and Sam should have never gone on that hunt, Y/N was due in less than a month, but she insisted that they go.

This is Y/N, sorry I can’t come to the phone, if it’s an emergency please contact Sam or Dean…

“Fuck,” Dean mutters, waiting for her message to end. “Hey sweetheart,” he does his best to keep his voice steady. “Me and Sammy just got back and I just got a feeling…” he takes a deep breath. “Call me back. Love you.”

Dean pockets his phone, before taking in the room again, trying to convince himself that it’s his new-father instincts and not his hunter instincts that have him so on edge. That’s when he sees it: under a discarded bag, a small pool of blood. Dean’s breathing grows heavier, and he scans the room again, looking for any kind of sign of what may have happened in the room.

“Sam!” Dean yells out, his breath quickening. “Sammy!”

Sam’s behind him, skidding to a stop before taking in the sight of the room before him. Even with only a cursory glance Dean knows that Sam’s thinking the same thing as him, something’s happened to Y/N.

Dean hurries down to the infirmary, Y/N had insisted that they have everything to monitor her in the final months and in the worst-case scenario anything needed to help her deliver. The simple fetal monitor is right where they’d left it three days prior, Dean insists on listening to the heartbeat of his unborn child on an almost daily basis, letting the rapid thump thump thump put him at ease.

Dean’s phone buzzes in his back pocket, and he breathes out a sigh of relief when Y/N’s picture fills the screen. He takes a minute, calming himself, she doesn’t need to know that up until this moment he was on the verge of a panic attack.

“Sweetheart,” he smiles, “y’know you had us worried for a minute.”

There’s silence on the other end of the call, save for heavy, scratchy breathing.

“Y/N?”

“I’m sorry, Dean,” Y/N whispers, choking back a sob. “I shouldn’t’ve trusted her. Now–”

“Baby, listen to me,” Dean finds Sam in the hall and mouths trace the call, Sam nods and bolts towards the library. “Are you okay? The baby?”

“That depends on you, Dean,” an unfamiliar voice replaces Y/N’s. “Now, be a good little soldier and do as I say. Only then will your precious wife and child have a chance to make it through this unharmed.” Dean can feel his blood boiling, this is why he could never not be a hunter. He and Sam have made too many enemies over the years, and now Y/N and their baby may be paying the price.

All the fear that he felt when Y/N first told him she was pregnant comes rushing back to the surface. Dean never thought he’d get married, let alone be a father, but with Rowena keeping the demons in check, and Jack limiting the angels' interaction on Earth, with the exception of Cas, life became some version of safe for the brothers.

That’s why Y/N insisted that they take the simple salt n’ burn just one state over. She knew that they were going a little stir crazy, Bobby, Jody and Donna, had started training the next generation of hunters so that boys could retire. Dean was hesitant to leave, Y/N was only a month away from her due date, but she shooed them out the door, claiming to need her own space from her overprotective husband and brother-in-law.

“Are you listening, Dean?” The voice tuts and Dean tries to clear his head of ‘if’s’ and ‘could’ve’s’ all it’s doing is driving him crazy.

“I’m listening,” Dean repeats through gritted teeth. The voice gives coordinates to a location a few hours away and before he realizes it he’s in the Impala, ready to do whatever it takes to save his wife and baby. Sam tells Dean what he’s already sure of: this is a trap and Y/N is being used as bait. He doesn’t care, he can’t lose her, lose their baby, not when she’s done nothing more than love him.

The sun is setting when they pull up to the abandoned farmhouse, original, Dean thinks. Dean wants to go bursting in, guns ablaze, but Sam stops him, reminding him that they don’t know who or what has got Y/N, and they have to be smart. He wants nothing more than to punch his brother for suggesting that they wait even a second longer to rescue Y/N, but he lets the words sink in and reluctantly agrees.

Silver bullets, holy water, dead man’s blood, witch-killing bullets and machete’s are divided between each brother, knowing that whatever has Y/N, one of these things will most likely kill it. When they enter the farmhouse Dean’s eyes lock on Y/N, who’s against a wall, two chains around her wrists.

Dean rushes towards her, the only thing on his mind is getting her and the baby out of this place and back home. Her breathing is shallow when he reaches her, and he gently inspects her body. Gingerly, he touches her face, allowing her Y/E/C eyes to meet his and she smiles lazily at him. Knew you’d come, she whispers, and Dean leans forward to place a kiss on her forehead. His free hand lands on the swell of her belly, where he can feel a slight kick against his palm.

“I love you,” Dean says softly so that only Y/N can hear him. “I’m gonna get you outta here, sweetheart, okay?” Y/N nods slightly as Dean focuses his attention on freeing her from her bonds.

There’s a grunt behind Dean, and when he turns around, Sam’s on the ground, and there’s a somewhat familiar woman standing behind him.

“Dean Winchester,” she exclaims as two large men appear and pull him to his feet. “Been too long.”

“Jenny,” he utters, remembering one of the first cases he worked with Sam. “You look good, a little dead, but, good.”

“Always the charmer, weren’t you Dean?” She takes a step towards Y/N. “I could smell you on her the second she walked past me. Women always trust other women, made her think I was a hunter; a tragic backstory here, a name drop there, and bingo, the dumb bitch is leading me into your home.”

Dean feels his anger rising as he tugs against the two men, his eyes flicker to Sam, who slowly starts reaching for the blade next to him.

“Up,” Jenny orders and when Y/N doesn’t comply she produces a blade, and presses it against her stomach. Dean’s heart stops at the threat to Y/N and their baby. “If you want to give your baby a chance to ever see the light of day, I suggest you cooperate.”

Y/N’s legs are wobbly as she stands, tears glistening in her eyes as Jenny slowly runs the blade against her. Dean’s gaze doesn’t leave her, watching as Jenny uncuffs her, and leads her slowly over to him.

Adrenaline pumps through Dean’s veins and he frees himself from his two captors; headbutting one and throwing a punch at the other as Y/N is pushed out of the way. Sam is up on his feet and in a swift move, swings the blade through Jenny’s neck, her body falling limp to the ground. For the briefest of moments, Dean relaxes, only for a vamp to be coming at him again.

Dean can barely keep track of anything, his eyes tunneling in on the large vamp in front of him. He can hear the grunts of Sam, and the familiar sound of another vamp going down. Y/N isn’t in his line of sight, and through the blood pounding in his ears, he hears Sam call his name.

It was just the distraction that the vamp needed and he barrels towards Dean, slamming him against a wooden post. He feels something pierce his side but he keeps fighting against the vamp. As the vamp is about to take his final shot, his head is gone, and Sam is quickly resheething his blade.

Y/N cries out, cradling her stomach and even from a distance he can see the pool blood between her legs. Go, Dean orders Sam who quickly obeys.

“I think she’s in labor,” Sam mutters. “I don’t think we can get her to a hospital in time.”

Dean rushes to Y/N’s side as best he can, telling her everything will be alright. Dean returns to Baby, grabbing the first aid kit, hastily patching up the wound, and retrieving a blanket from the trunk. The pain hits him all at once, but he pushes through it, his pain doesn’t matter, all that matters is that Y/N and the baby are safe.

Y/N’s screaming out in pain, begging for someone to make it stop as Sam does his best to calm her. Dean closes the distance in only a few steps, positioning himself behind her. He takes her hands in his, whispering praises in her ear as Sam orders her to push.

Within only a few minutes, Evelyn Marie Winchester is brought into the world, wailing loudly as Sam wraps her in his flannel and hands her over to Y/N. Dean offers Sam a silent thank you as he takes in the appearance of his daughter. Evie’s the perfect combination of him and Y/N.

The moment of bliss doesn’t last long, as Sam reminds them that they still need to get Y/N and Evie to a hospital. Dean moves from his place behind Y/N and winces at the pain now radiating through his body. Sam gives him a curious look, and Dean shrugs, trying to convince his brother that he’s fine.

Dean takes Evie out of Y/N’s arms, and cradles her against him as Sam helps Y/N to her feet. Dean takes a few steps before legs start to give and his vision starts to blur. The last thing Dean hears before everything going black is Y/N and Sam calling out his name.

Five Years Later

Dean watches as Evie runs around the backyard of their new home, chasing Miracle and laughing hysterically. Y/N was right, the Bunker was no place to raise a little girl, she deserves everything that he and Sam never had, and he is determined to give it all to her. Evie will never know what it’s like to go to bed hungry or cold, or wonder when she’ll see her parents again.

The opening of the front door tears Dean’s attention away from his daughter, Sam’s voice filling the otherwise silent house. He turns to see his brother carrying a ridiculous amount of gifts followed by a very pregnant Eileen with a shaggy haired toddler attached to her hip.

“Unca De!” Little Bobby tries to squirm out of Eileen’s hold and she carefully lets him down. The toddler bolts for Dean, wrapping his arms around Dean’s leg. “S’Evie’s birfday!”

“I know, buddy!” Dean laughs at his nephew, “how ‘bout you go tell her ‘happy birthday’?” Dean opens the side door and lets Bobby out.

“You are going to spoil my daughter rotten, Sam Winchester,” Y/N appears from the back of the house. Dean’s still amazed that even after years together, Y/N can take his breath away.

“Well, if I had another niece or nephew, I could spread the love.”

“I think you’ve spread enough love, Sammy,” Dean jokes as he heads into the kitchen, Sam following behind him. “I mean, you’re basically having your kids back-to-back.”

“Three years is hardly back-to-back,” Sam reaches out to grab a beer. “You’re just mad ‘cause I one-upped you.”

“Actually,” Dean peeks into the living room. “We’ll be even. Y/N’s pregnant.”

The words have hardly left Dean’s mouth before Sam’s engulfed him in a hug. Dean’s positive that Eileen and Y/N are having a similar conversation at this very same moment, but what neither Sam or Eileen know is that they have a bet on who will crack first.

“Just found out a couple of weeks ago,” Dean continues with the ruse. “She wanted to wait until after yours was born, didn’t want to take Eileen’s thunder or something.” Sam nods, seemingly understanding.

Hours later, after the last present has been opened, and the final piece of cake has been eaten, Sam and Eileen take a very sleepy Bobby home. Evie sits at the kitchen table, listening carefully and a smile growing on her face as Dean and Y/N tell her that in six months she’ll have a little brother or sister.

“Or both,” Y/N corrects with a knowing smirk.

“Both?”

Please reblog or send me an ask with your feedback!

This one-shot was requested by a nonnie, my requests are currently open, you can send me an ask or DM me if you’d like to request something.

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slipper007 · 3 years

Text

I can't imagine the pain.

Word Count: 3,262

TW: child loss, grief and grieving, discussion of death. See AO3 for complete tags.

Special thanks to @angelfishofthelord and @shirtlesscastiel who both asked for a part 2, as well as @featherasscas , who's reblogged part 1 more times than I can count

Companion to this, + also on AO3. [Masterpost]

Castiel stayed on the ground, broken, for what felt like hours, lacking the strength to look away from the devastation of his grief.

He stayed there so long that the Winchesters gave up hope. They mumbled something about Chuck and the end of all things, of the ghosts that Cas’ total grief had obliterated and how they might not have been all that was released. Castiel didn’t care. He didn’t have it in him to, and maybe the Winchesters saw that. Dean tried to touch his shoulder, maybe even offer an apology, but Castiel shot him a look that ended the conversation they had been dancing around for years. They left him in that graveyard with what was left of his son.

He almost prayed, but what could an angel do to reverse God’s will? No, he needed to do something else. He was desperate enough to try anything he thought would work.

Bargaining. Maybe he could strike up another deal. Whatever the price was, he would pay it happily. He would give his life in a heartbeat, just like before, if it would bring Jack back.

He reached out to Death directly.

He felt Billie’s presence before he saw them and slowly turned as they offered a laid back “Hey.”

“Bring him back.”

“Can’t.”

“Can’t or won’t?”

“Both,” Billie replied. They raised a brow as Castiel drew his blade. “Killing me again? That seems a little redundant.”

“If you won’t bring him back then maybe your replacement will.”

“Everything has its time, Castiel and everything dies.”

“And it wasn’t his time! His story isn’t done!”

“God said otherwise.”

“You’re going to let God do your job? Kill Jack and wreck the order?”

“God isn’t wrecking anything. Every story has different endings. This was one.”

“Then change it.”

“It’s already happened. It can’t be undone.” Billie’s voice was gentler than Castiel expected when they continued. “It’s not fair, or kind, or right, but it’s life. You need to make your peace with that.”

“No.” Billie’s brows drew together and if Castiel didn’t know better, he would think that it was from pity. Even as he spoke, he felt the tip of his angel blade drop. “I can’t accept this, he can’t be...”

“He is. And nothing you do will change that, regardless of what your time with the Winchesters has taught you.”

Castiel felt the lurching ill sensation rise up again.

“What if I go to the Empty directly?”

“Then you die. It keeps both you and Jack. But you know how the Empty works.”

“I still won’t get to see him...say anything...”

Billie touched his shoulder, a rare gesture of remorse from Death incarcerate. “He’s gone, Castiel, but he can live on in you.”

Castiel didn’t answer, and Death left him to grieve.

Even as time ticked by, Castiel was at a loss for what to do. In the dust, he drew the Enochian sigil to create a portal to Heaven, paid it enough attention that for a moment he could pretend Jack was sitting in the truck playing on his phone.

Castiel almost called his brothers and sisters down to open the portal, to take both Jack and him from the Earth, to let them rest for the first time in years. He wanted Jack to know the peace that used to exist in Heaven, the safety of the place he had once called home. More than that, he wanted to be at peace, to quell the anguish and anger writhing in his chest. It would be easier to go back to proper angelhood, forget what it was to feel.

Emotions had never brought him anything but trouble. They’d lost him his family, his home, his friends, his life…

Still, his tongue wouldn’t speak the words to bring his siblings down. He remembered how they’d treated Jack, and him. The angels had manipulated Jack just as the Winchesters had, and they would do so again if given the chance.

Even dead, Jack could still be used as a weapon. His body harbored the remains of not only nephil grace, but also that of the archangel Michael. Those were both cosmic; they would endure longer than his body.

As much as it sickened him, Castiel realized a hard truth.

Not only was Jack unable to come back, but it wasn’t enough to simply lay him to rest. His body needed to be destroyed so completely that he could never be manipulated again.

He only knew one person he could even start to trust with something like that.

“Hello, tweetie pie,” Rowena answered. “Is this a social call?”

“No, I need your help.”

“Now as much as I’d like to, I’m busy. Tell the Winchesters—”

“This isn’t for them,” he said, words coming out harsher than intended. He took a breath and added a gentler, “Please, this is important.”

“More important than—”

“Yes. Can you meet me at...” Castiel faltered. The Bunker wasn’t an option, and he certainly wasn’t going to stay where he was, surrounded by death, destruction, and his son’s wings scorched into the earth. “Uh…”

“I’ll need some time to tie things up in Nevada. Could you perhaps meet me halfway?

“Yes.” Castiel breathed a sigh of relief. “In Colorado? Grand Junction?”

“Alright,” Rowena agreed. “Now tell me what it is you need so I can prepare.”

“I need you to help me burn a body.” He risked a glance to Jack, feeling bile rise up. “So completely that he can’t come back.”

“Dearie—”

“I can’t talk more; I’ll see you tomorrow,” Castiel blurted, hanging up before what little control he had over his emotions could slip.

The drive was even harder than watching him die.

He talked and played music, anything to avoid the screaming silence, the way Jack was growing cold and stiff beside him. It didn’t work. His mind still repeated the horrified knowledge of “this was your child,” a broken record he feared would never stop.

Neither of them would recover from this.

He arrived after Rowena and nearly cried as she offered him a smile in her prim and proper way and asked if Jack would be joining them or staying in the car.

He didn’t know what gave it away. The unnatural stillness and silence of the car, one that he’d grappled with for hundreds of miles, perhaps. Maybe it was a witch’s intuition, since she’d seen enough over the last several hundred years. Maybe it was because he couldn’t answer her, or even look her in the eyes.

“Oh,” was all she said before embracing him. He couldn’t return it. He couldn’t tear his mind from the hug he had given Jack in the graveyard, how he hadn’t hugged back, how he’d kneeled rather than fight, and how he’d died even when Dean couldn’t go through with it. How it felt to hold Jack, limp and soundless in his arms.

The dam broke, and all that pain and grief and anger nearly brought him to his knees.

Rowena saw it: how broken he was, how broken he’d always been. He didn’t know who he was anymore if he wasn’t a father or an angel, yet he was neither anymore. What was he supposed to do now?

Maybe she understood that. She had suffered the loss of a loved one, too. She knew what it was to watch the world die around her, to lose herself for a time.

When Castiel was able to collect himself, pull the broken shards of his being back together, Rowena asked something that almost tore him apart again.

“Dearie, are you sure you want to…”

“I can’t bring him back. I talked to Death, and I can’t bring him back,” Castiel said softly. “I can’t have someone take advantage of what’s… left.”

“But something so permanent…”

“I would do it myself,” he offered, “but I seem to have fallen.”

Rowena gave him a strange look, the likes of which he hadn’t received in years, so he explained.

“I felt it. Something in me breaking. The emotion growing stronger. I don’t know how to describe it… It felt like when the angels fell. The same kind of desperation.”

“My dear, you’re still an angel. You still have your powers.” She looked him up and down. “Maybe you’re not as powerful as you once were, and you’re a smidge weaker than last we saw each other, but you’re far from powerless.”

Castiel looked away, lost.

“Maybe you can’t do it because you don’t want to,” she offered gently.

“What I want is for him to come back. But he needs to be….” He couldn’t bring himself to say it.

Rowena nodded, understanding.

They found somewhere private, somewhere quiet outside the city. The trees stood tall and proud and vibrantly alive. A felled one became the pyre.

Castiel placed Jack on it, still wrapped in the trenchcoat.

The flames that swallowed him were brilliantly red, orange, and gold like the ochre rocks on the horizon.

It took hours, even with the help of magic. Castiel stood by Jack’s side for all of it, even long after the embers had cooled and all that was left was a small pile of ash and smudges of soot. Rowena collected it up in a jar as the sun rose, and Castiel took it in his hands.

It never should have ended like this.

The day carried on as if Castiel’s world hadn’t ended hours ago. He was grateful to Rowena for what she had done, but even sitting in her kitchen he was too lost in grief to thank her.

Standing by a whistling teapot, she finally asked, “Would you like to talk about the wee boy?”

“It hurts too much.” Castiel bit into his lip, hard. What did it say about him, that he could hardly even say Jack’s name? Shame bubbled up, hatred of himself swift to follow.

“It hurts because of how much you loved him.”

“I still love him.”

“Yes.”

The pair fell silent for a long while and Rowena set a cup of hot tea in front of Cas before settling into her own seat.

“Rowena…”

“Yes, tweetie pie?”

“When did losing Oscar stop hurting?”

Rowena bowed her head, and Castiel knew the answer.

“It didn’t,” she finally said. “Just as losing Fergus hasn’t stopped hurting.”

Castiel’s instinct was right. This was something he would never recover from, would he?

“It’s a different kind of hurt, with time,” Rowena offered. “It stops being so keen. You survive and you try to carry on without them, because that’s what they would have wanted.” She stared deep into her tea. “You learn to talk about them, and to them, even though they’re gone.”

Castiel nodded and held his tea closer. He couldn’t see that happening, not with how much it hurt, but she was right: he would survive. With Jack gone, his deal would never come due. Happiness wouldn’t kill him because he would never feel it again.

Rowena offered him a place to stay for a few weeks, but Castiel declined. He couldn’t stay there, not where the earth was scorched and the air still smelled faintly of smoke. Instead, Castiel drove for hours, not paying much attention to where he was going until he found himself parked outside of the Bunker.

It wasn’t where he wanted to be, not by a longshot, but he had something he needed to do. The door creaked as loudly as it always had, and Castiel was halfway across the library before a voice called out to him.

“Cas.”

Dean.

“I’m here for his things. Then I’ll be on my way.”

“Cas, hey. Stop for a moment, would you?”

Castiel did.

“Look, alright.” Dean walked over until they could look each other in the eye. “I’m not proud of how everything went down. And I’ve given what you said some thought. You’re right. It is our fault, but it’s Chuck’s, too, man. You gotta see that.”

“What I see is that you’re finding any excuse you can to get the blame off yourself.”

Dean’s eyes darkened.

“Chuck has been toying with us—”

“No, you made the decision to kill him, just as I made the decision not to. You told me to get onboard or walk away, and I left you and Chuck both of my own choice. Because you taught me that people and families and love are worth fighting for, and I was going to fight for him!” Castiel tried to keep the waver out of his voice as tears brimmed in his eyes. “Chuck couldn’t have changed that even if he’d tried.”

“Maybe he didn’t want to, huh? You think of that? Maybe he wants us divided.”

“You should have thought about that before you tried to execute him in front of me.”

“Cas—”

“You had a choice and you made the wrong one.”

Castiel left him there in the library and locked himself in Jack’s room. Almost instantly, it proved to be too much, and he slumped down against the door, sobbing.

The room was holding its breath, waiting for Jack to come home. A half-read book sat on the desk, a few stray papers underneath. A pile of clothes waited patiently to be returned to a drawer. The nightstand was bare save for a pencil. One good deed….

Castiel packed it all away. He hated himself for destroying the illusion, for leaving the room as empty as his chest felt, but what he was waiting for would never happen. Jack would never walk through that door again. The decoder ring in the drawer would never be used. Everything had fallen into ruin.

He managed to get the first box into his truck with no issues, no run-ins or confrontations. The second box was smaller, and he rested it on a hip as he closed the bedroom door for the last time.

This time, he wasn’t so lucky. Dean watched him cross the room and quietly said, “You’re not the only one grieving him.”

“It’s not the same, Dean. You never felt his soul. You never took the time to know him: you spent your time trying to make up for wanting him dead. Well, you got what you wanted.”

Dean flinched at that, but Castiel didn’t care. His son was nothing but ash and a box and a half of belongings. Anger flared again.

“You think angels can’t feel.” He laughed bitterly. “Even though I’ve proven that wrong. Did you think killing him wouldn’t kill me, too? As if I haven’t given more for him than you could possibly imagine. As much as you’ve given for Sam. My life. My happiness… I signed away my future in a heartbeat so that he could come back and I would do it again. I tried to do it again.”

If only it would have worked.

“Wait, what?”

“I made a deal to save him. When I’m happy, the Empty will take me forever.”

Dean gaped at him in horror.

“Cas, what’ve you done?”

“What I had to. What any father would do. Don’t give me that look. You’ve done worse for Sam.”

“And it’s always come back to bite me in the ass.”

“Well, I haven’t been happy in years, so don’t worry about the deal.”

“You shouldn’t have made it in the first place.”

“Oh, so now only you get to make deals to save the people you love? Only you get to cheat death time and time again while the rest of us suffer?” Castiel looked at him incredulously, anger seeping through him. “Do you know how many brothers I’ve lost? Sisters? Friends? Now Jack. Why can’t I save them? Why should they stay dead when you and your brother have been raised so many times?”

“That’s not what I meant and you know it. We would have figured it out without making the deal!”

“We didn’t have the time! If I hadn’t made the deal I would have lost him forever, right then and there. I couldn’t stand by and watch him die!”

It would have killed him. And it had.

“We would have figured it out,” Dean maintained. “Like we always do!”

Castiel shook his head. “Then you figure it out. If you bring him back, I’ll be back, but until then…” Castiel looked around the wide expanse of the Bunker with a strange longing. This had never been home, but it could have been, just as his friendship with the Winchesters could have been more. He was leaving behind an almost.

“Jack’s dead. Chuck’s gone. You and Sam have each other. I think it’s time for me to move on.”

“Cas, wait.”

As angry and tired as he was—as they both were—Castiel wanted to. A decade of comradeship, of camaraderie and pining, did that, made him reluctant to leave. Then he remembered standing between Dean and Jack, realizing that if that gun went off, he’d lose them both. He knew now that he’d lost them both long before that.

“Goodbye, Dean.”

It was years before they saw each other again.

It took longer than Castiel could ever admit to find peace.

He still ached for Jack to come back, felt the pain in every drawn breath, but Rowena was right. Billie was right. The anger lessened and the pain dulled. He missed his son but Jack would have wanted him to try to move on. He would have wanted Cas to be happy, despite the deal still hanging over his head even if Castiel couldn’t see it ever coming to fruition now. He owed it to Jack to try to be happy.

And he would. He had to. No matter how much it hurt, even if he still wanted nothing more than to bring him back or follow him in death. Jack survived through him, in his memories and his love. He couldn’t let what was left of his son go like that.

He’d moved to Washington, made a home of where Jack had been born and Kelly had died. Where he had burned. It was a little too empty, full of broken promises and loss and regret, as if it, too, struggled to let go. One day it would. Another family would come and clean it out, fill this home with love as it always should have been. Children would run out to the sand, oblivious of the ash mixed in, while their parents painted over Kelly’s mural and took down the pale yellow curtains that had reminded Cas of honey.

One day, all memory of Jack and the world his parents had tried to give him would be gone. But it wouldn’t be today.

Castiel made his way outside, stood where the rift had first appeared. If he looked closely, he could still see the imprint of wings in the earth. This was where he and Kelly had both burned.

Cautiously, Castiel looked to the sky, the twinkling lights of stars against an unpolluted sky. Jack loved space. He would have loved it here, able to see the stars every night without fail.

It was time to let go.

Gently, Castiel let the ash catch in the breeze, wander everywhere it liked and more until it was gone. Jack was gone.

Castiel swallowed hard and tilted his head back up to the sky, to the light of a thousand stars. If he looked hard enough, he could see the golden twinkle of Jack’s grace reflecting back, his eyes glowing against a sea of blue.

“Hello, Jack.”

195 notes · View notes

tootiredmotel · 3 years

Text

Give him the real thing

For @floral-cas 's event!!! First time writing from an outsider/oc's pov so bear with me. Huge huge congrats on your milestone K!!! You are a PILAR of this lil community and we all love you 💚🌺💚🌺💚🌺

Read on ao3. 1.7k words

"Alright, uh… confession. I got no idea what I'm doin' here."

He looked around the shop like a monster was about to pop out of any corner. Like the carnations were going to bite him and the pots lined up on the windowsill next to them would come to life and crush his feet. The poor guy looked terrified, but it's nothing Maya hadn't handled before.

"That's what I'm here for. What's your name?" She asked, sensing they'd be there a while.

"Dean."

On any other day, Maya would've been resenting a burly, middle-aged guy with no idea what he wanted coming into the shop twenty minutes before closing, especially on a Thursday. Jade had their A.A. meetings on Thursdays so Maya was alone for the evening. But this Dean guy? He looked so lost, so nervous, so utterly out of place. There was something else about him that made her want to help, too. Maya wasn't sure what, but she'd figure it out.

"Nice to meet you, I'm Maya. Let's start with this: why are you here today, Dean?"

"Anniversary tomorrow."

Concise and to the point. Maya made a mental note. She also noted how he wiped his palms on his jeans and clenched his jaw. Nerves.

"How many years have you been together?"

That got a smile out of him. "A lot. A whole lot. But this is, uh. First wedding anniversary."

She donned a wide smile. "Congratulations. That's wonderful."

"Yeah. Thanks, thank you." He stuffed his hands in his pockets, still not meeting her eyes.

"Doing anything special?"

"Nothin' fancy. My brother and his wife are taking the kiddo for the night so, picnic in the backyard, lookin' at the stars, all that cheesy romantic crap."

His words didn't match his tone. It was evident Dean was absolutely smitten, Maya recognized the look, and he was making an effort. He was filled to the brim with giddiness and adoration for this person, and it shone through from him just thinking about them. Jade still looked at Maya like that every morning and night, and so did Maya at them. Every day since freshman year of college. Maya's chest swelled.

"Thing is," Dean continued, a bit more relaxed now. "Cas knows all about this stuff. We got this huge garden behind the house that I'm not allowed to even touch. There's a million books about nature and trees and flower meanings on the shelf, and Cas has read all of 'em. I didn't even know flowers had meanings, I don't know jack shit about any of it, but…"

"You want to impress Cas."

"I wanna impress Cas. It's gotta be good."

"You've come to the right place then." Maya kept an eye on Dean as she circled the counter. He was studying the pride flags hanging in the window with a clenched jaw, and Maya went on alert. She pulled out the binder they kept in the drawer and plopped it down in front of him a little harder than she needed to, calling his attention. "My partner Jade is more of a nerd about this stuff than I am, but they made this for situations like these."

Dean read the cover, Jade and Maya's Quick Guide to Flower Meanings, and smiled. "Nice."

They spent forty-five minutes walking around the store, binder in hand, slowly constructing the message Dean wanted to convey with his bouquet. He was adamant on it containing blue, so Maya went for the Forget-me-nots first. “Love and hope,” said the binder, which she deemed fitting enough for a first wedding anniversary.

Dean looked like someone content with his life, and he agreed when Maya suggested they look under the happiness category. “Well, Cas makes me happy,” he said, and they settled on Felicias, also blue.

Dean eventually got comfortable enough and leaned over to look at the binder in Maya’s hands. “Think there’s anything in there for grace?”

Highly specific, but possible, Maya thought. “Let’s find out.”

And they did. Plumerias, white.

“Anything else?” She asked him. Dean donned a thousand-yard stare as he thought about it, and Maya figured this man had been through a lot. More than she could ever imagine. She was glad he’d found some peace.

“Freedom,” Dean said finally. Freesias, white as well.

It was an odd bouquet, Maya admitted, but Dean was an odd man, and he looked happy with it. He was still nervous, still out of his element, but there was more excitement in the twinkle of his eyes than anything else.

“Cas will love it,” Maya assured him, and he beamed. She still knew very little about this Cas person— Dean could speak a lot without really saying anything, careful and reserved, even dancing around using gendered pronouns for Cas, which Maya found interesting—, but she could see Dean was living a happy life as their husband. That was good enough for her.

“Here’s hoping,” he said as he handed over his credit card, but he seemed a lot more sure than hopeful. He knew Cas would like it, and Maya couldn’t help a sense of pride grow inside her. Dean also put some cash in the tip jar and left with a smile. A good day’s work, and maybe a new friend in town.

---

“Maya?"

"Yeah, sweetheart?"

Jade poked their head in the door, beaming at Maya as she ran the books in the back room.

"There's a gentleman asking for you."

"By name?"

Jade nodded. Maya sent them a questioning look, to which they just shrugged. If Jade wasn't all that worried about it, Maya supposed there was no reason for her to be either. She made her way out, squeezing Jade's hip as she passed them, and stepped up to the counter. The trenchcoat-clad man smiled at her.

"Maya?"

The depth of his voice caught her by surprise, but she recovered in time to reply "That's me."

The man smiled wider. "It's a pleasure to meet you, my name is Cas. You might not remember, but last week you-"

"Did you say Cas?" Maya couldn't contain her interruption, or the eagerness as she asked: "Dean's Cas?"

Cas's smile widened even more, which she didn't think was possible. It was blinding, and Maya, even in all her queerness, could definitely understand what Dean saw in him. "That's right."

Dean’s fixation on blue flowers suddenly made sense too, as she noticed his eyes. "He adores you, you know. You're his heaven and earth."

Cas's smile faltered at her words, and Maya feared she'd said something wrong.

"I'm sorry if I'm overstepping."

“No, no, it’s alright.” He looked down at his wedding band, and his smile returned. “He’s all that and more to me.”

Cas stared at his ring for a second longer. It was silver and had a small blue gem embedded into it. Maya could swear it appeared to swirl with light.

“Dean spoke wonders of you,” she said.

He looked back up at her. “You, too.”

She blinked in surprise at that.

“I loved the bouquet. I thanked him for it, over and over, and every time he said you were the miracle worker. That he was clueless the whole time and couldn’t have done it without you.”

“That’s not true,” Maya deflected, a steady heat rising to her cheeks. “He had a pretty good idea of what he wanted. And, if anything, he and I couldn’t have done it without Jade’s expertise.” She gestured toward her partner, helping a customer at the other end of the shop, and also tapped the binder, which was out on the countertop today.

“Then I suppose I’m here to thank both of you.”

He reached into a tote bag that Maya hadn’t noticed he was carrying and pulled out a plastic container. “We run a small baking business out of our home. These are on me. Apple and honey tarts.” He placed the container in front of her. On top of it was a label that read D&C’s Pastries. “They are also gluten-free, just in case.“

“What’s going on?” Jade asked, approaching Maya’s side with an expectant smile.

“Jade, love, do you remember Dean? From last week?”

“You told me about him, yeah, wedding anniversary.”

“Well this is Cas,” she gestured to him.

“Dean's husband,” Cas interjected. Jade and Maya shared a knowing smile. “I just wanted to drop these off as a thank you for helping Dean. Apple and honey tarts, gluten-free.”

“That is so sweet of you,” Jade exclaimed, eagerly taking the pastries. Maya rolled her eyes fondly at the pun, which Cas didn’t seem to catch.

“I was just doing my job,” Maya said. “But thank you.”

“Papa!”

They all turned to the child, blond and adorable, running excitedly toward Cas. At the door, where the child came from, stood an exasperated Dean.

“Jack,” Cas started, scooping the child in his arms. Jack wrapped his arms around Cas’s neck. “I thought I told you and Daddy to wait for me at the café, I wasn’t going to be long.”

“He missed you. We both did,” Dean gazed at him as he approached. “Dude, what are you-”

Dean scanned over the scene he’d just walked into and seemed to realize what was happening.

“So that’s what the tarts were for. Hey, Maya.”

“Hi, Dean.”

“And you must be Jade,” Dean said, extending a hand toward them.

“Yes! Heard about you, nice to finally meet you, Dean.”

“You too. You and that book of yours are life-savers. If I’d known the tarts were for you guys, I would’a made more.”

“These are more than enough, thank you. In fact, here...” Maya turned to a vase of daisies they had on a shelf and pulled out three. “Now I feel like we’re even.”

“Not by a long shot,” Dean said as he took his flower and Cas’s. He put his behind his ear, and Cas’s in his trenchcoat’s lapel, as Maya handed Jack his own flower.

They all promised to not be strangers, and kept their promise. Dean and Cas would bring over baked goods, and in exchange, Jade and Maya would let them take home a potted plant for their garden. Jack would always leave with a small flower in his hand, a different one every time, wrapped in Cas’s arms as he explained the flower’s origins or symbolism to his son. Dean would be the last one out the door, always turning back and mouthing a “thank you” to Maya. Every time, without fail.

And every time, Maya would think that she wanted what they had. Happiness, peace, a family, unconditional and true love. And every time, she would look over at Jade, and know she was well on her way.

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one-more-offbeat-anthem · 3 years

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endlessly

or, the one-shot that wouldn’t get out of my head where jack is a baby, cas is back, and he and dean have a talk. s13 :) this is a long one, so part of it is going under the cut!

--------------

Things are strange.

Of course, things are often strange in Castiel’s life, especially these days. For one, he just got brought back from the dead. For another, he rode in the passenger’s seat of the Impala on the way back to the bunker. Sam drove, because when Dean tried to drive, the baby in the backseat--Jack, that’s Jack--started crying, and Dean had to switch spots and let Jack’s tiny hand wrap around one of his fingers. Only then did Jack stop crying.

As soon as they got back to the bunker, Dean went to put Jack to bed, leaving Castiel in the kitchen with Sam. That’s where Castiel is now, watching Sam putter around, cleaning up things that don’t need to be cleaned. There’s clearly something on his mind.

“You and Dean should talk,” Sam finally says.

“We usually do talk,” Castiel replies, unsure of what, exactly, Sam means.

“I mean, really talk. Look--” Sam stops, grabs two beers out of the fridge and slides one across the island to Castiel, before continuing. “Dean gets...things get bad for him when you’re gone. Without Jack to take care of, I think he would have...” Sam doesn’t finish the sentence, but Castiel has a feeling he knows where it was headed.

“Is Jack always like that?” Castiel asks.

“Obsessed with Dean? Yeah. I mean, things are still kinda complicated with Mom, and I’m not great with kids, but Dean...” Sam sighs. “I mean, he had to take care of me constantly when I was a baby. He’s always been really good with kids, better at expressing himself. And he and Jack...I mean, if Dean’s not with him, Jack gets really upset.”

“Wow,” Castiel says. He remembers a few years ago, helping Claire out, and how quickly Claire and Dean cottoned onto each other. And stories he’s heard from before he knew the Winchesters (sometimes it’s hard to believe there was a time in his life before them) where kids had been involved on a hunt and Dean saved the day.

Perhaps it’s only natural.

“But yeah,” Sam takes a deep swig of his beer. “Go find him and talk. I bet Jack is asleep by now.”

“Right.”

Castiel still feels odd, wrong-footed, though. It should be easy to talk to Dean--Dean’s one of his best friends, someone he would do anything for, has done anything for.

But he’s also Dean, someone who can be complicated and feels things deeply, and if he’s been feeling bad enough to contemplate--

Castiel doesn’t know what to say to that.

He finds Dean in his room, sprawled out on the bed with a sleeping Jack next to him. There are beer bottles and a couple of whiskey bottles littering Dean’s nightstand, an overflowing wastebasket in the corner.

Sam was right. Things haven’t been great.

Dean’s eyes flutter open when he hears Cas enter and he sits up, saying softly, “I know sleeping with babies can be bad, cuz I read one of those books you got, but he just...” Dean turns his gaze to Jack. “He doesn’t go to sleep unless I do this.”

Castiel nods.

Dean carefully scoops Jack up and carries him over to the crib in the corner of the room. The whole scene is both painfully domestic and painfully Dean, and it causes something in Castiel’s chest to twinge.

“But he’s out like a light now,” Dean says. “He’s already better at sleeping, it’s like he knows I don’t get much even without a crying baby.”

“Hm,” Castiel agrees. “Dean, can we talk?”

“Uh, sure? Let’s go somewhere else.” Dean takes one last look at Jack’s swaddled form and then leads Castiel out of his bedroom and to another room, which Cas has never been in before and is barren except for some armchairs and a foosball table.

“What’s this?” Cas asks as they settle into the armchairs.

“It’s...I dunno, a rec room or something. Thinking of putting a TV in here so we could watch movies. I’ve been calling it the Deancave and Sam has been getting annoyed with me.” Dean cracks a smile at a that. “Whaddya want to to talk about?”

“I, uh...” Castiel shrugs. “Sam just said I should talk to you.”

“Dirty traitor. Of course he did.” Dean frowns.

“We don’t have to if you don't want to, I just thought--”

“No, no, this’ll--I need to say this shit.” Dean swallows, before saying, “So, do you remember, about a year or so after we met, when we were trying to get the Colt back and gank Lucifer?”

“I do,” Castiel says, now completely unsure of where Dean is going with this.

“Well, I...I got zapped to the future. Or a future, I guess, by Zachariah. It was...2014 there, the world was overrun by this plague and zombies, Sam was...gone, he had said yes to Lucifer for good, and I met another version of myself who was...he wasn’t a great guy. Pretty cold and ruthless, willing to use people he cared about as bait or put them in harm’s way. He didn’t care about much anymore.” “I assume I wasn’t in this world?” Castiel asks.

“No, you were.” Now Dean looks genuinely pained. “You had lost almost all of your grace, and you spent your days...drinking and doing drugs and having sex. You had lost the trench coat and you were...different. You still thought I was pretty cool, though, and the other Dean, the Dean from that you’s time, he hated that.”

“I see.” Something is coming into focus.

“You were Cas, but you weren’t my Cas,” Dean says, the emphasis on the my weighty.

“Was this the same night that you told me to never change?”

“Yeah,” Dean sighs. “It was. Something that the other you said, it just...it hit me. And I couldn’t let that happen to you, and I couldn’t let myself be the guy that made it worse. He said that the only thing you and that Dean had left was each other, that if the other me said it was time to go, then you would follow him. And I tried to talk to the future me about it, ask him why he was willing to put you in harm’s way just because you would follow him. He...he didn’t have an answer.”

“I have changed, though, Dean,” Castiel says after a moment. “And not in a bad way.”

“Yeah, but you coulda become that guy.” Dean’s fidgeting now, uncomfortable. “Anyways, after that it was...yeah. You know how things went, you were there. A lot of shit went down, and I tried not to think about that future I saw.”

“I see.”

There’s a vast, empty silence in the room as Castiel contemplates what Dean has told him. He wants to ask follow-up questions, figure out what, exactly, Dean means by what he’s said, but it’s rare that Dean is so open and calm about it, and Castiel doesn’t want to break the spell. He wants Dean to, what’s the phrase? Level with him.

“And then we went to purgatory,” Dean continues suddenly. “And I spent a year looking for you and found you all dirty and scruffy--you still had that trench coat but you looked like him. I was...starting to realize something, I guess? I mean, Benny helped me find you, and one night we were just hanging out, doing stuff, and he asked me what my deal was about you. I told him, I said you were one of my best friends, hell, just straight-up my best friend.”

“And what did he say?”

“He said I was full of shit, that no one spends a year in purgatory for a friend. I told him to shut the hell up, but he was right.”

This isn’t happening. This would never happen, because Castiel has heard that it won’t. The Empty’s words from when he was dead echo in his head.

I know who you hate. I know who you love. There is nothing for you back there.

But maybe there is.

“There isn’t any use in trying to hide it from you,” Dean says. “You saw all the bottles. Every time you leave...I tell myself it’s because you’re like family, and you are, but not quite--”

Castiel is tired of waiting, tired of having a weight lodged in his chest, and he hates how agitated and small Dean looks, so before he can fully think out what he’s doing, he’s standing up and then leaning over Dean’s chair, his face inches from Dean’s.

He waits.

“There’s--there’s no way,” Dean says, breathless.

“There is.” Castiel swallows, hopes he hasn’t miscalculated.

He determines a moment later when Dean seizes him by his collar and pulls him all the way down into a kiss that he did not, in fact, miscalculate.

It’s clumsy and messy, because of the angle and the nerves and all of the waiting, but Castiel doesn’t particularly care, and he’s getting the impression that Dean doesn’t, either.

“Please don’t leave again,” Dean whispers into Castiel’s neck when they finally separate.

“I won’t,” Castiel promises. “Although I still can’t promise to never change.”

“That’s a good thing,” Dean replies. “I know that. Now.”

Castiel doesn’t sleep, but when Dean finally heads back to his room to check on Jack and then try and get his four hours, Dean grabs Castiel by the trench coat sleeve. He stays, takes the pair of pajamas Dean sheepishly offers, finds himself curled around Dean in the big bed that doesn’t seem so big anymore. Neither Dean or Jack wake up all night.

Castiel may not sleep, but he does sink into a fairly deep meditative state in the quiet darkness of Dean’s room. He “comes to” an indeterminate amount of time later to see that the room is empty, save him, and that all the bottles and trash are gone.

He pads into the hallway, still in that pair of Dean’s pajamas, and hears voices coming from the kitchen. He follows them to find Sam sitting at the table, talking to Dean, who’s standing at the stove with Jack swaddled and wrapped to his chest. Castiel feels his face reddening as his chest expands, and he makes a beeline for the table and sits across from Sam.

“I see you had that talk,” Sam whispers, grinning.

“We did.” Castiel can’t help but smile back.

“Anyone not want bacon?” Dean asks from the stove, and Castiel and Sam both shake their heads.

Castiel could get used to this, and he hopes he gets the chance to.

#destiel #baby!jack #spn #fic #offbeatwrites

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writingtoforgetreality · 3 years

Text

You’re A Winchester? (Castiel x Winchester!Reader)

Request: You are so sweet, is a little sister Winchester reader good? Like in her late 20s that is their sister from another world/dimension, but they don't have a sister in their world? And she is just trying to fit into their family but she is a good hunter? It can be with Cas Meg or both, whatever you are inspired to do :) (by @sourpatchspinster), [Supernatural-Masterlist]

Part Two

Summary: You woke up in the middle of nowhere. How the hell did you get here? The last thing you remembered was being in a motel room & all of a sudden, you found yourself lost with the worst headache ever. Who would have thought your life was about to be changed forever?

Words: 5,270

Warnings: takes place in season 15 bc I want “everyone” to be alive & happy, language (do I still have to mention this?), mentions of our dear friend Chuck, angst?, innocent reader (I don’t know what happened to me during my writing break tbh), not my fav piece but I loved the request so there you go, fluff, (possible second part?), (Y/E/C) = your eye color

If you like my work & wanna support me: a coffee would be highly appreciated ❤

Black. That was all you could see. Your head was killing you, it felt like someone tried to crush it with their bare hands. It took you a lot of strength but after a few attempts, you managed to open your eyes & were met with a blue sky. Huh…Did you fall asleep outside? No. WAIT?! Were you captured? No, you were just lying on the grass. Slowly, you got into a sitting position, looking around to figure out where in the hell you were. Unfortunately, your surroundings were unfamiliar. Taking deep breaths, you tried thinking logical for a second. The last thing you remembered was you sitting in a motel room, turning pages in an old diary your family left behind.

You had never met any of your family, growing up in a children’s home because…well, you had no idea if you were completely honest. Throughout the years, you had been to multiple foster families but in the end, you always ended up back at the children’s home. Not that you cared too much. It was not like you ever felt like you belonged with them anyway. On your 18th birthday, Sally, one of the employees, came into your room with a small package in her hand. That was the first time you had ever received a gift.

“It says I should give it to you today.” she handed you the small wrapped gift with a genuine smile on her face.

“What is it?” your curiosity got the best of you.

“Open up & see, I guess. I have no idea.” & with that she left you alone once again.

The day you got the diary was when you left the children’s home for good. You could not believe what you had read. Apparently, you did have a family. Or so it seemed. But why the hell had you never met them? And why the hell did it seem like your family suffered from psychological problems? Schizophrenia? To be honest, you did not care about that. The only thing that mattered to you was that it seemed like you had a father & two brothers out there somewhere. It looked like your mother had died a while ago…

~back to your confused ass self~

Being alone out in the middle of nowhere was not particularly comforting. What scared you even more was that you did not even have your stuff with you. Where was your diary? Your phone did not matter to you that much, neither did your clothes. It was not like you owned much to begin with. But that diary? That meant the world to you. Even after years of unsuccessful searching for your family, you never gave up. Because deep down, you knew you would come across them eventually.

Coming to a standing position, you dusted off the dirt that was on your clothes. A black car in the distance caught your attention. What was a car doing out here in the middle of nowhere? Maybe your kidnappers were driving it & brought you here? That thought let your heart race. Yet, you found yourself moving closer to the car. The closer you got, the more you could make out. Was that a ’67 Impala? Out here? And it looked like it was in great condition? If you had enough money you would buy a similar car & you sure would treat it the same way that the Impala’s owner did.

You risked a look inside the Impala, finding it relatively empty, but before you could spend much longer admiring it, you saw something silver in the corner of your eye. Was that a…door? Okay, yeah, you were definitely kidnapped. But not by professionals, that was for sure. Not the right time to joke? Okay, okay, right. Upon closer inspection, you noted that it was most likely a door to a bunker. Why you did not run right away, you were not sure. Something about this place felt like…home. Huh, weird. How could you be so anxious yet so at peace all at once? Only one way to find out. Oh boy, you would so regret this later.

Before you could think too much, your hand was moving towards the door, ready to push. Surprisingly, it was not locked. You had to push your entire weight against the door to keep it moving since it was so damn heavy. By now, your legs were moving on their own & all of a sudden you were standing inside a…bunker? There was not much to make out because your eyes had to adjust to the dark inside at first.

It sounded like footsteps were approaching fast but because of the echo in the bunker you could not quite tell where they were coming from. There was one thing you did notice, though, & it was the fact that there was more than one person coming your way. Fuck.

“HANDS IN THE AIR!” the click of a gun was followed after the loud voice. Obeying, you put your hands up even though you were sure nobody could see what you were doing anyway. It was still dark after all. Right this instance, light illuminated the room & you were stunned by how big the bunker was. Eyes wide, you looked around, only to find you were upstairs & the voice you heard was coming from beneath you. Gazing around, your eyes fell on two broad looking men, both of them pointing a gun at you. Fucking great. You should have run.

“DOWN. NOW.” the shorter one of the two yelled once again. Not wanting to mess with them, your legs moved towards the stairs & slowly you got down, not once letting your eyes move away from the man with the shorter hair. He seemed like the bigger threat. While the taller man looked scary as hell too, he held something behind his eyes that eased you a tiny bit more.

“Who are you & what are you doing here?” this time it was the taller man who spoke up & you had to take back your previous thought. He was scary as shit, especially with his voice sounding like he was up to no good.

“Um, I-I swear, I don’t know. I-“ but your attempts were cut short.

“Cut the bullshit right there. Did Chuck send you?”

“Chuck?” your eyebrows raised up, showing your genuine confusion.

“Dean, I don’t think she’s with Chuck.” the one with the longer hair mumbled. Dean? Huh. The name made you think of your lost diary again. You hoped you would find it eventually.

“Sit down & start talking.” he was not to be messed with so you followed both men further into the bunker until you reached a huge table. Choosing one of many chairs, you sat down but still eyed the guns that were no longer pointed at you but still very much a threat. The men each took a seat opposite of you, putting the guns on the table in front of them. At least they were not holding them anymore. You noticed you held your breath & again, started taking slower ones to calm yourself.

“I’m Sam & this is my brother Dean. We won’t hurt you, just…who are you?” what a coincidence. Brothers Sam & Dean. Were you dreaming? Of course, why did you not think of this sooner? It would make sense.

“My name’s (Y/N).” your voice was barely above a whisper & your eyes shot down to your lap, suddenly feeling small.

“(Y/N), okay. Well, (Y/N), um, why are you here?” Sam’s voice was a lot softer than at the beginning. Dean had not said anything else, he simply looked at you sternly, still thinking you were a threat. You did not even have weapons on you. Hell, you did not even know how to fight in the first place. But clearly they did not know that. Fuck it, if you were about to die then you could actually tell the truth, right? What did it matter? Your voice was quiet but loud enough so the boys could hear you.

“One moment I was reading through a dia- book & the next I wake up in the middle of nowhere with the worst headache ever. I saw the Impale parked outside & then found the door. I don’t know where I am, I don’t even know why I thought opening this damn door would be a good idea.” a slight chuckle was all you could muster right now. Hopefully they would believe you. When neither of them said anything for a few moments, you looked up & saw them eyeing each other, having a silent conversation.

“What book were you reading?” this time it was Dean but his voice was a lot kinder now. The boys knew you were not a supernatural being, the bunker was safe when it came to that & you would have not been able to enter otherwise. Yet, you were confused by his question? That was really all he cared about? Not the fact that you had no clue where you were or how you got here? Not wanting to anger him, you answered, looking him straight into the eyes.

“My dad’s diary. Nothing special, why?” a noise coming from the entrance made you look towards the door. There sure were quite a lot of people for being in the middle of nowhere. Your conversation was cut short when a voice spoke up.

“Sam! Dean! I salted & burned the bones! Case done! Well, Castiel helped me but he said he was proud of my work.” how could someone sound so excited about…burning bones? What the fuck?

“Jack did a good job today.” the other person spoke up. He was wearing a trench coat & his voice was deep, deeper than the others. Obviously, they had not noticed you yet but a look at Sam showed you how uncomfortable he was. At this point, you were more than confused. Salting & burning bones? Why did this sound familiar though? Shit. No way. Your dad’s diary was filled with salting & burning stuff. What was happening to you?

“Uh, guys…” Sam got up & approached the two men who were called Jack & Castiel. Somehow, your gaze fixed on the man in the trench coat. He looked good. Again, wrong timing, (Y/N). Get it together! Jack & Castiel saw you & their faces turned into confusion.

“Who’s that?” Jack asked, his voice did not scare you, he sounded sweet. He seemed like a kind person.

“Jack, Cas, this is (Y/N). She showed up in the bunker out of nowhere.” Dean eyed you once more before getting up himself. Frustration could be felt & you hated that you were the one causing it. Never was it your intention to cause trouble in their lives but it looked like you just did by opening that damn door.

“Could you all maybe sit down? It makes me nervous when you’re all pacing like that.” you were surprised by your own voice. Usually you were never one to intervene, especially not in a situation like this. But you were exhausted & all you wanted was just to get back to your motel & these were the only people who could help your right now. All eyes shot to you & to your surprise, they began walking towards the table. Sam & Dean, taking the seats opposite of you. Castiel sat down right next to you & you hated how your heart skipped a beat by this simple action. You did not even know this man, he could be a killer. Jack took the chair next to Castiel & Sam made it his job to explain your situation briefly. All you could do was listen, your hands fiddling in your lap, still somewhat anxious to be here.

“Cas? Isn’t there a way you could…I don’t know, check her memories?” Dean added right after Sam finished explaining. Your confused face shifted between the two men, not understanding a single word. How could a stranger help you with your memories?

“I could try. But I need your permission to do that.” while saying the last part, his eyes looked straight into your (Y/E/C) ones. Damn, his eyes. His head tilted slightly & it was only then when you registered that he had asked you a question & you simply stared at him.

“Um, permission for what?”

“To take a look at your memories & see what you remember. We could help you after that.” his voice was so casual, as if he had done this multiple times. To you, though, it sounded like he was crazy.

“Right. And you can do that because…?”

“Because I’m an angel of the Lord.” Castiel stated. A what of the what now? A short laugh escaped you. Not because you laughed at him but because you were shocked & confused.

“Cas…” Sam mumbled & put his head in his hands. That was something he had wanted to keep from you. He had a feeling you had no idea about the supernatural & he wanted to keep it like that.

“You can trust him, (Y/N).” Dean chimed in.

“Will it hurt?” not that you were scared of the pain, your pain tolerance was pretty high but on the other hand, he had just told you he was an angel.

“Only a little.” Cas gave you a reassuring smile & that was when you decided you would let him do it. Because, frankly, you did trust him. Even though he might have some sort of mental illness.

Sam, Dean & Jack left the room to give Castiel some time to prepare & to give you time to calm down. He could tell by the way your leg was bouncing that you were highly uncomfortable but he was not sure how to help. His idea was to get it done quickly & then to bring you back where you came from. Hopefully, you would not ask too many questions. He already gave too much away by saying he was an angel. Replaying your face when he had said it eased him a bit. You did not look convinced at all which was probably for the best.

“Try to breathe more evenly, it’ll help.” you could tell he was trying to make this easier for you but you just wanted to get it done.

“I’m ready, let’s do this, please.” the plea at the end was almost inaudible but Castiel could hear it anyway.

Your eyes closed as you saw Castiel approaching. His fingers touched your temples gently but the next thing you felt was a short but piercing pain shooting through your entire body. It only lasted a few seconds & the only words you could make out before you fell unconscious were “You’re a Winchester?”.

“What do you mean she’s a Winchester?” Dean asked with shock written all over his features.

“She’s related to us?” it was Sam, he took the information way better than his older brother.

“Your sister, to be exact.” Castiel paused briefly, waiting if one of the boys wanted to add anything. He took their silence as a sign of continuing. “Her father’s diary, the one she was reading before she got here, it was John’s.”

“Wait, wait, wait…WE have his diary. There’s no way she has it. Besides, we would know if we had a sister.” Dean gestured with his hands to get his point across. He had never seen you, you could not have stolen the book from them.

“You’re right. But in her world, she was the one owning it. In her world, you guys are her brothers.”

“In her world? What’s that supposed to mean?” Sam decided to join the conversation, now wanting answers himself.

“She’s from an alternate universe. I expect she was reading through a spell or something similar & somehow she got sucked into our reality. From what I’ve seen in her head, the portal closed itself behind her so if she has no idea how she opened it & got here…well, it could be hard to bring her back. Besides, I’m not so sure she wants to go back there…” Castiel’s voice got quieter at the end of his sentence.

“Why not?” Dean imagined himself in your situation & he would do anything to get back.

“It’s not really my place to tell, I believe.” & before Dean could argue any further, Jack came running into the room.

“(Y/N)’s awake.” to that everyone followed behind him to one of the many bedrooms the bunker had to offer.

You were tired but the pain had completely disappeared. No matter how hard you tried, you still could not remember how exactly you got here. The door creaked & you looked up to find Sam, Dean, Castiel & Jack entering the room. You were no longer scared. Probably because you were way too exhausted to care.

“So?” you spoke up after a few seconds of silence. Castiel stepped forward & took a seat at the end of the bed you were lying in. His ocean blue eyes looked you over, making sure you no longer were in any pain. You nodded at him to show you were fine & with that Castiel told you what he had seen. It was a lot to take in but your tired state simply made you nod at everything he explained.

“The thing is…We don’t know how to get you back.” Sam approached you slowly, took a seat in a chair next to your bed.

“Cas?” ignoring Sam’s statement, you only had one question on your mind. Back in your world, you had spent years looking for your family. For your brothers. The ones being in the same room with you right now. Also, when did you start calling Castiel by his nickname? When did that happen? His humming gave you enough confidence to continue.

“Are they alive back home?” you did not have to mention names for Castiel to know who you were referring to. His face turned into one of sadness & you knew the answer without him saying anything.

“I don’t wanna go back.” every ounce of uncertainty was gone, you knew it was fate that you were here with all of them now. The four men shared a look, having a silent conversation again. Dean nodded but left the room a second later.

“Don’t mind him, he just needs time to process.” Sam’s sympathetic smile relaxed you a bit. The bunker was nice, so was the fact that you practically met your brothers but you were not planning on staying with them. Dean’s reaction showed you why. They had lived their lives without knowing they had a sister. You, on the other hand, had known about your brothers for years & yet you did not feel the satisfaction you had so desperately hoped for after finally finding them.

“It’s fine, I’ll get going soon.” with that, you sat up straight & tried standing up. A wave of dizziness kept you from doing so. Castiel was at your side in an instant & guided you back down.

“You need to rest.” he told you.

“You’re not staying?” Jack’s voice erupted from the door. You had almost forgotten he was there too. Your eyes focused on him briefly before you looked back down again, a blush slowly making its way up on your cheeks.

“It’s for the better. I’ll be fine.”

“(Y/N). You’re our sister. Doesn’t matter if you’re from here or from another world. You’re family. We just found each other, we won’t let you leave again.” Sam’s words made you tear up. He did not know you, yet he told you that you were family & he wanted you to stay. For the first time, you felt like you belonged somewhere & you were overthrown with emotions. Since Castiel was closest to you, he sat himself next to you, threw an arm over your shoulder & pulled you into his chest. Usually, you hated crying in front of people but right now you could not care less. Besides, being in Castiel’s embrace felt right. What was it about him? Neither of them left the room, all staying with you for as long as you needed. When you could not feel more tears flowing down your cheeks, you slowly removed yourself from Castiel, immediately missing the warmth of his body. If you were about to stay here, he would be trouble, you could feel it already. Sam, Castiel & Jack then left the room, telling you to get some more rest & to scream for one of them if you needed anything. Details could be discussed another time.

They were right, you needed sleep. Time to sort your thoughts. Maybe that was the reason why you entered the bunker in the first place. Why you were not concerned about them brutally killing you. After waking up, you were more comfortable with the idea of sticking around with the boys. Sam told you Dean would come around eventually & you just hoped he was right. Getting up, you paddled to the door, quietly opening it since you did not know how late it was. There was a long hallway that looked exactly the same, no matter what direction you were looking at. Distant voices could be heard so you followed them & prayed you would not get lost in that labyrinth of a bunker. You had to ask your brothers a question. Your brothers. It felt weird to call them that but they were, right? Back home, you had read through your dad’s diary about a thousand times. You were familiar with what he wrote about. He called himself a hunter. Sadly, you were not about to meet him. Castiel had told you that he had died a long time ago. Sam & Dean were the only family you had left.

“Um, hi.” you made yourself present & Dean turned around to meet your eyes. He looked a lot less tense, thank God.

“Slept well?” at least he was attempting to start a conversation with you. Nodding your head, you walked over to where Jack was sitting. Dean spoke up again.

“Hey, sorry for how I acted earlier. It was just a lot at once. I do want you to stay. We do.” he emphasized his words. This made you smile. At first you were not sure about how Dean would react but this showed you that he was trying & that was enough. Telling him it was fine, you sat down next to Jack & looked over at what he was reading. The book was old but the condition it was in was surprisingly well. A cup was placed in front of you by Dean & you thanked him. He brought you coffee.

“Dean?”

“Yeah?”

“Where is Sam? I wanna ask you guys something.” feeling silly with how you put it, way more dramatic than it actually was.

“Right here.” Sam entered the room, walked past Dean & straight to you. A pat to your shoulder eased the tension a little.

“What is it?” Dean seated himself on top of the table.

“Okay, so…I just want you guys to be honest with me, okay?” both men nodded, Jack was lost in his book, he did not even hear you conversation. You continued.

“Monsters are real & you hunt them?” their eyes widened at your question but deep down they expected something like that. The diary you owned was filled with the supernatural.

“Yeah, we do. It’s kinda the family business.” Dean chuckled at the end. You were family but clearly you had never hunted any monster before.

“Okay.” was all you answered.

“Okay? That’s it? You’re not running outta the door?” Sam could not believe you. He expected you to freak out. On the other hand...you were a Winchester.

“I don’t know about you, Sam, but I let an angel of the Lord look into my head. Monsters don’t sound too crazy after this.” all of you laughed out. “So, you guys hunt the supernatural. Castiel is an angel? And Jack? What is he? Your trainee?” the mention of his name made Jack look at you & before the boys could answer your question, Jack decided to take matter into his own hands.

“I’m a nephilim. The offspring of a human & an angel. Lucifer is my father but not really, you know. My mother died when I was born but I have Sam, Dean & Cas. They are my family.” his smile was too pure for this world but the way he so casually talked about the fact that he was Lucifer’s son had you stunned.

“Sure.” was all you could manage at that point. Jack’s smile grew wider & he got back to reading.

“Welcome to our world? I guess?” Sam’s smile was faked but if you were honest, you could imagine yourself being thrown into this mess. Nothing you could not handle.

~a few months later~

“Guys? Have you seen Cas?” you came running into the kitchen where Sam & Dean were having breakfast.

“What? You boyfriend ditched you?” Dean teased & earned a slap from Sam. You simply rolled your eyes at him. Your brothers realized very soon after coming to them that you had a big crush on Cas & Dean loved to mess with you.

“Shut up, asshole. We’re about to leave for the case in Wisconsin but he’s not here.”

“I haven’t heard from him but come on, sit down & have breakfast with us.” Sam offered. You walked over to the boys & sat down next to Dean who handed you a cup of coffee right away. Your smile was a thank you enough.

“Seriously, though. When will you tell him?” Dean munched on his food, not even looking at you but you knew the question was directed at you.

“That we’re leaving for the case? He knows that, Dean.”

“That you like him.” scoffing could be heard. Sam enjoyed your banter in silence. That was one indicator that you were a their sister. After warming up to them, they found out you were actually a lot like Dean. This made you guys argue more often, never too severe, mainly siblings teasing each other.

“Right, & then we’ll have that apple pie life. Is that what you want? Dean, he doesn’t like me like that.”

“Yeah, he does. Poor dude is a mess whenever he talks to you.” again, you simply rolled your eyes at him. Yes, Cas could be awkward when you guys talked but then again, this was Cas.

“(Y/N)?” Cas came into the kitchen where he could hear voices. Immediately your head snapped up & a smile started forming. An action that did not go unnoticed by both, Sam & Dean. Neither mentioned it though.

“There you are, I got worried for a second.” you got up & pulled Cas into a hug. That was nothing special. The two of you hugged each other all the time. Another thing that Dean commented on a lot of the time. Apparently, Cas had never been much of a hugger before you had come around. You simply shrugged it off even though, deep down, your heart skipped a beat at the idea of you being the reason for his change.

“Jack needed to talk to me, I’m sorry.”

“No problem, are you ready?”

“Yes, we should get going anyway.”

“Alright, bye boys.�� whenever one of you got ready for a hunt, you made sure to say goodbye properly. You never knew. The last few months, your brothers had helped you with the basics of hunting. If they were honest, it felt like you were born to be a hunter. You picked up the skills quickly & learned a lot about the supernatural in a very short time. Cas told you that it probably was because you were always meant to be here. After a while, you started believing him. At first, Sam & Dean told you you were not allowed to come on a hunt with them but after realizing that you were good at what you did, you became an inherent part of the team which you were grateful for. Now, they even let you leave with Cas, a big step forward.

“Your bag’s already in the trunk.” Cas pointed at the back of the car.

“Thanks, Cas.” you lovingly smiled at him. Yeah, you were totally into him. Cas stopped briefly & got closer to you. Yet, he made sure to keep a little bit of distance between the two of you.

“Why don’t you tell me?” he whispered & you felt like you could not breathe for a second. Had he heard your conversation with Dean earlier?

“W-What?” you hated how weak & nervous your voice sounded. Why could you not play it cool? Why did you have to make a fool out of yourself? Before you could even process what was happening, Cas slowly leaned in & pressed his lips to yours softly. You were too shocked to kiss him back, not knowing if it was really happening right now. Cas pulled back & he looked rather uncomfortable. Your face was still full of shock.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done this. Just…Dean told me you liked me & then I heard your conversation & I thought you might-“ you cut his rambling off by pulling him close again. This time you kissed him & he lost no time in kissing you back. You let yourself get lost in the moment. You had dreamed about this particular moment for months & the fact that it was happening right now? Your body was on fire. When the both of you pulled apart for air, you could see Cas’ smile & you were sure your were blushing like crazy.

“So, Dean was right?” Cas’ hands settled on your waist & it felt natural. As if you had done it a thousand times.

“Remind me to kill him after this case.” you laughed & pulled Cas into a hug. He tightened his arms around you. Who would have thought, all those months ago, that you would end up with an actual family?

“Wasn’t he our…how do you call it? Wingman?” Cas chuckled after planting a soft kiss on the top of your head. He released you from the hug & you moved over to the passenger side. Your elbows were propped up on the hood & a smirk started forming at the corner of your mouth.

“Still. I told him to keep it to himself & he is my brother. I think I have permission to kill him for this.” of course you were joking & if you had to be honest, you were kind of glad that Dean could not keep his mouth shut. Cas walked over to the car, shaking his head at you but you could still see a small smile, opened the door & got in. You smiled to yourself. Finally, you knew that Cas did like you too. Where you were going from there? You were not sure yet. But there was a case you had to finish & it would take a few days to get it done. That would be enough time to figure out what you two were but you had a good feeling about this. It felt right & you had a home with people you loved & cared for. You were meant to be here from the start.

~to be continued?~ (let me know)

Part Two

Published (03/18/2021) by Cathy

Tags: @teelagurl558, @babymango-writes, @hollymac79 (thanks for your support <3)

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rowyn-writes · 3 years

Text

Star Struck (Castiel x Angel!Reader)

Warnings: Language, a splash of angst, a little bit of fluff, make out scene

Pairings: Castiel x Angel!Reader

Characters: Cas, Sam, Dean, Gabriel, Jack (mentioned only) Mary (mentioned only)

Word Count: 1.6k

Summary: When the Winchester's and Cas call on you for your help, Cas can't help but be star struck by your presence.

Requested by: @danitisx

You roamed the streets Dublin, Ireland. Fascinated by the beautiful scenery and amazing culture.

"It's wonderful, isn't it?" A handsome man beside you asked.

"Indeed." You agreed. "Do you live around here?"

"Yeah, just up the road a couple of blocks. I've lived here my entire life. What about you? Where are you from?"

"Uh," You laughed as you scratched the back of your head. "I'm from the States. New York." You decided. It's not exactly like you could tell him you were an Archangel from Heaven.

"I'm Charlie, by the way." He gave you a cheeky grin.

"Y/N." You introduced yourself.

"Would you like to go out for a drink?"

"I would l-" You broke off as you felt a strange tug on your body. "Damn."

You were surrounded by a circle if Holy fire. You took in your surroundings. You seemed to be in some sort of emergency bunker. "What in Dad's name." You mumbled. "Alright, whoever summoned me here, if you don't show yourself, I'll smite you!" You growled, trying your best to be intimidating.

"Y/N." A soft voice said.

You whirled around to see a familiar angel. "Castiel." You breathed. "You're the one who summoned me here? Why?" You tilted your head to the side, similar to how Castiel would do whenever he was confused.

Two other familiar men emerged from around the corner. "Winchester's. Hello."

"Y/N. Good to see you again." Sam nodded.

"Ya know, if you wanted me here so badly, you could've called instead of summoning me here with a ring of holy fire. Which, by the way, is extremely uncomfortable."

"Sorry," Dean shrugged, throwing a glass of water, extinguishing the fire. "Precautionary measure."

"Fair enough." You slid off your black over coat and set it on the back of a chair. "So, what can I do for you boys? Do you need an elixir of some sort? An herb, perhaps? A spell?"

"They need some of your grace."

Your eyes darted from Castiel's over to him. You thought he was dead, long dead. This didn't make sense.

"You."

"Me." Gabriel smirked. "Hello, little sister. Long time no see."

"Yeah," You scoffed, raising your voice. "Long time no see because you dumbass got yourself killed by our brother! Or so I thought. Because to me, you look perfectly fine."

You trembled with anger. You had thought your brother was dead. You mourned him for so long. You cried for him, and there he was, alive and healthy. For now.

"Y/N-" He sighed.

"No! You don't get to talk, asshat!" You growled. "You let me believe you were dead for years! I cried for you, I prayed to you, to Dad! And there you are, fine and dandy."

Sam, Dean and Cas stepped back a little, giving you and your brother some space. Out of everyone, they understood family problems.

"You son of a bitch!" You screamed, using your powers to slam Gabriel into a wall. He gave out a small grunt as his back hit the cold brick wall. "You let me think you were dead! How could you?!" You clenched your fist, making it harder for Gabriel to breathe. "You were my best friend! My brother! And you heard how much pain I was in and decided to let me keep suffering! You insufferable dick!" Your eyes were glowing a bright blue.

"Y/N!" Castiel called your name, trying to calm you down. "Y/N! Stop." He rested a hand on your shoulder, squeezing lightly. "You need to calm down. Let Gabriel explain."

"You guys have ten minutes to explain everything that's going on before I get my ass out of here and never come back."

The men sat you down and explained everything that happened in your absence. Including your nephew.

"You're telling me Lucifer has a son?" You questioned. "Someone actually wanted to have sex with my brother?"

"Uh, well, Kelly thought that Lucifer was the President." Sam coughed.

"The Presid-" You cut yourself off. "Okay. . . Clearly I've missed a lot. So, you want me to give you some of my grace in order to get Jack and your mother back?"

"Yes." Dean nodded. "You're our only option left. Gabriel tried to help, but most of his grace was drained by Asmodeus and it'll take time to replenish."

"Fine. I'll help."

"Really?" Cas said hopefully. "You'll help us?"

"Of course." You gave him a gentle smile. "Jack is my nephew after all. He needs a female figure in his life. And I refuse to let him be corrupted by Lucifer. My brother won't have any contact with Jack if I can help it."

"Why do you care so much about Jack?" Dean asked, his eyebrows furrowed. "You've never met him."

"Doesn't mean I love him any less. He's family. And until recently, I thought everyone I loved was dead. So I can deal with the fatigue and snappiness that comes with losing some of my grace."

"Thank you." Cas said gratefully. "Thank you so much."

"Okay." You took a deep breath. "Could I get some help with extracting my grace? I'd do it myself, but I can be a bit squeamish." You looked over at the beautiful blue eyed man in a trench coat. "Would you help me?"

"Oh," Cas seemed to be flustered. "O-of course."

You grabbed the tool and headed into an empty bedroom. "Okay, let's get this over with." You said, pushing your hair to one side of you shoulder to let Castiel extract your grace. "Just. . . Be gentle, okay?"

Cas nodded, still seeming unnerved. "You're scared. Why?"

"Well. . . You're one of the most powerful angels to ever walk the earth. You were one of God's favorites and most trusted. You led an entire army of angels into battle with demons. You banished the Princes of Hell back into Hell. You're amazing!"

You gave Cas a soft smile. "That's very sweet of you, Castiel. But I'm not the same angel anymore. I'm certainly not Father's favorite anymore. He was the one that cast me out of Heaven after he found out I had relations with a human. I'm not amazing. I'm ordinary."

"Well, you're extraordinary to me. You're helping us get Jack and Mary back. Even though you don't have to."

"It's the least I can do." You dismissed him with a wave of your hand. "You and the Winchester's have saved the world more than once. Granted, you almost ended it as well, but at least you fixed it. Plus, I can tell these people mean a lot to you."

"They do. They're my family."

"And I'm very happy that you've found your family, Castiel." You cupped his face in both of your hands. "You were a wonderful servant to Heaven, and an even better leader when the time came. You deserve to be happy after all the havoc that's happened to you." You pulled away, resting your hands in you lap.

"You would have been far better than I was. You are a good angel, and an amazing leader."

"I'm no better than Lucifer."

"Y/N," Castiel said in astonishment. "You are nothing compared to Lucifer. You are compassionate and kind. You care about people."

"But when the world was ending, I was off galavanting around the world. And when people were in danger and dying, I turned a blind eye and let it all happened!" You cried, tears rolling down your cheeks. "If I don't help, then I'm part of the problem, Castiel. I yelled at Gabriel for disappearing, but I did the exact same thing. I left, I left Heaven, my brother's, all of the other angels, I left them. For a jackass human that never really loved me. So you ask me why I'm doing this for you? I'm doing it because I've never done anything good in my existence. Ending that war with the demons, sure, it saved humans in the long run, but I never cared about that. I was just following Dad's orders. Like a good little soldier."

"Y/N," Cas began.

"Just. . . Take my grace. . . Please?"

Castiel frowned as he gingerly brushed your hair aside. "This might sting." He warned as he plunged the extractor into your neck. You winced, gripping your leg in order to cope with the pain. Cas ended up getting five vials filled with your grace.

"It should replenish eventually, but it might take some time."

You went to stand up, but immediately felt lightheaded. Cas came behind you, holding you up. You inhibitions were lowered when you lost grace, and this time was no exception.

"Has anyone ever told you you have the most beautiful eyes?" You smiled. "They're like the ocean."

Castiel's face tinted pink and he gave a sheepish grin. "Thank you, Y/N. You have very beautiful eyes as well."

"Is that the only thing you find attractive about me, Castiel?" You ran a finger along the length of his arm.

"I- Um. . ." The angel was flustered once again. "Well, o-of course there are other things attractive about you. You're gorgeous. Your lips are perfect, t-they look very soft."

"Why don't you find that out yourself." You smirked. You pulled Cas down by his tie, his lips meeting yours.

Castiel was hesitant at first, and you knew he never really understood kissing. You moved your lips against his, and he finally understood. You didn't even know you had been moving until your back hit the brick wall.

You hands got tangled in his dark hair, while his wrapped around your waist.

There was a loud bang at the door, making Cas pull away from you. "If you're done making out with my sister, we kind of need this show on the road." Gabriel called from the other side of the door.

"Cockblocker." You grumbled. "That was one hell of a kiss, Cas. We should do it again sometime." You gave him a wink as you headed back to the library.

"I need a cold shower."

#castiel imagine #sam winchester imagine #dean winchester x reader #jack kline imagine #supernatural imagine #supernatural fluff #dean winchester imagine #gabriel imagine #jack kline #jack kline x reader #gabriel x reader #castiel x reader #castiel fluff #sam winchester fluff #dean winchester

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littlegnoblin · 3 years

Text

Happy Valentine’s Day to my best friend and other half @donestiel

read on ao3

Dean comes home from work to find Cas and Jack sitting at the table, red heart-shaped lollipops strewn in front of them.

He gives Cas a quick kiss. “You trying to give the kid a sugar rush or what?”

“Daddy! It’s for Valemtime’s Day!” Jack yells excitedly, hopping off his chair to hug Dean’s legs.

“It’s pronounced valentine, Jack.”

“I don’t know, valemtime kinda has a nice ring to it,” Dean says. Jack beams up at him and he can’t help but ruffle his hair.

“Yes, well, the holiday has become so bastardized that I suppose renaming it wouldn’t hurt.” Cas squints at the box the candy came in. “Does no one find it odd that their children are passing around cards demanding others belong to them?”

Dean sits down and pulls Jack into his lap, flipping through the little pink cards. “I don’t know that you’re supposed to think about it that hard, dude.” He comes across a card that reads ‘kiss me’ and holds it up. “This, on the other hand-- they’re five, what the hell do they need to be kissin’ for?”

“I want kisses!” Jack protests.

“You’re a little kiss monster.” Cas leans in and presses a big, exaggerated smooch to Jack’s cheek. “How was that? Did it satisfy the beast?”

Jack giggles and nods enthusiastically.

“Hey, I’m gonna need to sample one of those kisses myself. Make sure they’re regulation-- standard procedure.”

“Is that right?”

“‘Fraid so,” Dean says with a shit eating grin.

He’s expecting a goofy kiss like the one he gave Jack but Cas uses his thumb to tilt Dean’s chin just so and kisses him deeply.

They break apart when two tiny hands push at their faces and Jack tells them to knock it off.

“This is what Valentine’s Day is all about, champ. Besides, I thought you liked kisses.”

“You guys do it gross.”

Dean smiles and bounces his eyebrows at Cas, who rolls his eyes but can’t hide the small curl of his mouth.

“Perhaps your father will help you write your classmates’ names on the cards while I get dinner ready.”

“I can cook,” Dean says quickly. The thought of Cas’ last attempt at cooking has his stomach churning and he’s pretty sure feeding that toxic waste to Jack would be considered child abuse.

Cas holds up a cardboard box. “It’s frozen pizza.”

“Alright, I’ll do babysitting duty. Just make sure you take the plastic off this time.”

“It’s not babysitting when it’s your own child and that was one time.”

“One time too many,” Dean mutters.

“I’m sorry, what was that?”

“Nothing, dear.”

Cas glares at him. “I expect you to eat a healthy portion of salad along with your pizza tonight.”

“You making it yourself or is it bagged?”

The glare intensifies.

Jack tugs on his sleeve. “Daddy, did you like doing valentine’s stuff in school?”

“Nah, it, uh-- it wasn’t really a thing when I was your age.”

That’s a blatant lie but Dean’s not going to tell him the truth and bum him out. What five year old wants to hear that their dad didn’t do Valentine’s Day exchanges because there was barely enough money for food, let alone candy, and he never really stuck around any school long enough to get included in the holiday stuff. Shit’s depressing.

“So you never got no cards or nothin’?”

“Nope.” Dean never got cards but he did get invited under the bleachers a few times in high school to unwrap a different kind of present. He’s not telling him that either, though.

“That sucks. Can I have a lollipop?”

“Nice try, kid.” Dean taps on the card in front of them. “Get to writing.”

He oversees the careful labelling of the cards, reminding Jack to double check the list of names anytime he spells something wrong and corrects a few backwards letters. They debate who gets what card and Jack complains that he has to give one to Tom who keeps cutting him in line.

Cas rejoins them in the middle of Jack’s impassioned rant, hiding his smile behind his hand.

“While I agree that Tom is a-- what was it you called him?”

“A butthead.”

“Yes, right, a butthead. While I agree he is a butthead, unfortunately I think you need to be the bigger person. Maybe this will even convince him to stop cutting in line and you two can be friends.”

“No way. I don’t wanna be friends with Tom.”

“You never know,” Dean says. “I didn’t like your dad when we first met, but I think he’s a pretty okay guy now.”

Jack looks at him wide eyed. “You didn’t like Daddy?”

“No way, he was a butthead.”

“It was more of a misunderstanding,” Cas explains.

“Oh is that what we’re calling it?”

Cas lifts an eyebrow and stares him down. “What would you call it, Dean?”

Shit, that should not be so hot.

“Not the point; the point is that I didn’t think I would ever like your dad and now we’re married. Things change.”

Jack furrows his brows, considering. “I don’t want to marry Tom.”

Dean snorts. “You don’t have to. In fact, please don’t. His mom is a nightmare.” Cas kicks him under the table. “What! She is!”

“You don’t have to marry him and you don’t have to be friends with him,” Cas says, ignoring Dean completely, “but you do have to give him a card and some candy.”

Jack grumbles but does as he’s told. Dean’s legs are starting to fall asleep but he’s become increasingly aware of how fast Jack is growing up and soon-- way too fucking soon, if you ask him-- he won’t be sitting in his lap at all so he silently resigns to not feeling his legs for the next ten minutes.

“All done!” Jack yells and throws his hands in the air.

“Sweet, now let's stick some candy in these bad boys and call it a night.”

“Wait, there’s a extra, what should I do with it?”

“Is there anyone who’s not in your class that you’d like to give a valentine to?”

Jack gasps and slaps a hand over Dean’s eyes, nearly poking one out in the process. “Close your eyes, Daddy!”

Dean dutifully closes his eyes until Jack tells him he’s finished. He slowly opens one eye and sees the pink card held about an inch from his face.

“For me?” he gasps dramatically.

“Yes!”

The front of the card reads ‘You’re the best!’ and when he opens it, he finds ‘Daddy’ written in some of the neatest handwriting from Jack he’s ever seen. Beneath it he’s signed his name, the K backwards like it always is on his first try.

“I gave it to you because you never had one before and also you’re the best daddy ever, who makes me yummy chocolate chip pancakes and cheeseburgers and does funny voices for bedtime stories,” Jack explains.

Dean wraps his arms around his son and rests his cheek on top of his head, his heart feeling fit to burst. “Thank you, Jack. I’m gonna keep this forever.” And he means it.

“Welcome. Can I have a lollipop now?”

Cas points at Dean. “He gets that from you.”

After the valentines are carefully put away and they’ve had dinner (plastic free and edible, which Cas seems proud of), Jack gets a bath and is tucked in bed. Dean and Cas spend the rest of the night sprawled out on the couch watching reruns of Doctor Sexy and drinking beer. Party city.

When the Doctor Sexy reruns switch to Jeopardy, Dean knows it’s officially midnight.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, I guess.”

They tip their bottles together.

“I hope I didn’t disappoint you by not planning anything,” Cas says, picking at the label on his beer.

“What? No, of course not. We never do anything. I thought we were on the same page about avoiding that shit after our first Valentine’s together.”

They both shudder thinking about the sweaty cupid ‘handshake’.

“We are, but we never actually discussed it and I…” Cas pauses and tilts his head. “I think having Jack around and seeing the world through his eyes, experiencing things in a new way, it makes me wonder if we’re not missing out on some of the little things.”

“Hey, we appreciate lots of the little things-- like you not cooking frozen pizza with the plastic still on.”

“Dean.”

“Okay, okay. So you sayin’ you wanna celebrate now?”

“Sam and Eileen do.”

“Sam and Eileen are saps. And they don’t have a five year old running around.”

Cas makes a sound of agreement and softly strokes the back of Dean’s neck, sending shivers down his spine. “You make a fair point. In all honesty, I don’t want to do anything extravagant but I would like to take the opportunity to remind you how much I love you. Am I allowed to be sappy for a moment?”

Dean clears his throat. “Yeah, I guess you deserve one day to get it all out.” He puts their bottles down and faces his husband. “Lay it on me, big guy.”

Instead of looking annoyed, Cas just looks fond. “You know, it’s ironic that a man as full of love as you are is so quick to dismiss any sentimentality. You are a fascinating creature.” A thumb sweeps under his eye where he’s got permanent dark circles and settles at the corner where his lines get deeper every day. It makes Dean want to squirm but he holds still under the reverent touch. “Perhaps that’s why I never stood a chance.”

“C’mon, man,” Dean says, dropping his eyes to the couch.

“Hush, I’m allowed, I’ll have you know. My husband gave me explicit permission.”

“Well, your husband is thinking about rescinding the offer.”

“I love you.”

Cas says it with such conviction that Dean can’t help but look back at him, at his bright eyes and soft smile; at the evidence of his love written all over his face.

“I love you, endlessly, Dean Winchester. For everything that you are; the good and the bad. From the moment I saw your soul in hell, so bright it was almost blinding, I knew I would never be the same. You breathed life into me, gave me meaning and purpose, taught me the value of love, and you did it all, selflessly, simply by being the man that you are.” Cas draws him close, presses their foreheads together. “I can never give back all that you’ve given me but I promise you will have my love until we are nothing but a forgotten memory, and longer still.”

Dean squeezes his eyes shut and they breath together in the small space between them.

“You can’t-- you can’t just say shit like that,” he whispers.

“And why not?”

“Because it’s not true, first of all.” Cas opens his mouth to argue but Dean covers it with his hand and hurries on. “You’ve already given all of that back and more. God, Cas, if it weren’t for you I’d have been dead years ago. I needed to stick around-- to take care of Sammy, to stop whatever or whoever was trying to end the world next-- but you… you made me want to live. Really live, not just survive, you know? I fuckin’ love you, man.”

Cas pushes Dean’s hand away and presses his lips against Dean’s fervently.

When they finally break apart for desperately needed air, they both pretend they aren’t sniffling like little girls.

“You happy now? Can we go back to not doing this?”

Cas laughs. “I hadn’t planned on making it quite so emotional, I apologize. You always bring out the most in me.”

“Ugh, enough,” Dean groans, shoving Cas’ smiling face away. “You aren’t allowed to say anything even approaching romantic for the next twenty four hours, capiche?”

“I can agree to that, as long as I’m allowed to give you a gift later.”

“I thought you said you didn’t plan anything?”

“It’s nothing big.” Cas’ fingers sneak under Dean’s shirt and trail along his stomach, dipping to his waistband. “I just happened to walk by Victoria’s Secret and see a pair of pink satin panties in the window.”

Dean’s heart beats a little faster. “Oh yeah?” he says breathlessly. “Not gonna lie, that seems more like a present for you.”

Cas hums and leans over Dean, forcing him to lie back on the couch. “Well then I suppose I’ll just have to do whatever you want while you wear them.”

When he kisses him he tastes like cherry candy and Dean thinks could learn to like this holiday.

#spn #destiel #deancas #bend-me-shape-me #sweatercas #rambleoncas #acklesy #alivedean #userpris #usersila #goodthingsclara #shelikestv #hope you guys dont mind me tagging you!!!#sarah writes

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icefire149 · 3 years

Note

30 and destiel?

Hi Sam! Thank you soooooooooo much for this one. This was incredibly fun to write. It ended up a bit longer than I planned, but I hope you enjoy it <3

#30 - Too quick, mumbled into your scarf

“Dean, you really should come inside. It’s too cold.” Cas stopped at the nose of the impala. He rested a light hand right above the driver’s side headlight.

Sighing, Dean turned his attention away from the night sky. He’d been leaning against baby’s door for a while, watching the clouds roll in. “That’s a bold statement from someone who doesn’t get cold.”

Cas rolled his shoulders back a bit, standing up straighter. His head tilted questioningly. “I still remember vividly what being too cold felt like.”

Dean visibly winced at that. “Okay.” He raised his hands in surrender, but his fingers felt wrong.

“What’s wrong?” Cas closed the distance between them. His eyebrows pinched together.

“Nothing, just got too cold….I think.”

He wrapped his hands around Dean’s. “Hence, why I suggested you come inside in the first place.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Dean rolled his eyes with a huff. He could feel Cas’ grace flowing through every atom of his being, shielding him from the cold. “You’re always right. Thanks mom.”

Exasperated, Cas shook his head, but he pulled their hands an inch closer. He gently turned Dean’s hands over like he was inspecting every cell of skin. A soft smile tugged at the corners of Cas’ lips. “Jokes aside, much like your mother I did build this body with my own….well, more than two hands, but you get my point.”

Dean curiously leaned forward. “Dude, how many hands do angels normally have?”

“That’s not important.” Cas lowered their hands so they rested at their sides, but he still didn’t let go. He gave Dean’s hands a squeeze instead. “My point is that it would be a shame to ruin my hard work with frostbite.”

And then, Cas withdrew his hands and the chill of the autumn night flooded into Dean’s bones like a broken dam. His brain felt momentarily scrambled, but he wasn’t sure if it was from Cas’ words or the absence of his touch. Before he knew it, Dean was ushered inside the motel room.

The lock clicked behind them and Jack sat up. He’d been laying in the center of the bed farthest from the door. “Sam called. He said that him and Eileen are aiming to meet us tomorrow if the weather isn’t too bad. Did it start to snow yet?”

“No,” Dean shook his head disappointed. “Soon though. I could feel it in the air.”

“I’m surprised you could feel anything at all,” Cas mumbled while he crossed the room to sit on the corner of Jack’s bed.

“Enough already.” Dean kicked off his boots and flopped onto the other bed in their double. He knew that he needed a shower to ideally warm himself up, but for now this was nice. “How much snow do you think we’re gonna get?”

“I can look that up right now,” Jack answered eagerly. He reached for his phone on the nightstand.

“You don’t have to,” Dean said, staring up at the ugly, stained ceiling tile. “What’s your gut instinct? I’m thinking 3 or 4 inches. Nothing too much, but enough to blanket everything in white when we wake up.”

Jack put his phone down on his lap. “Oh, this is a game.” He turned to his dad. “Castiel, what do think?”

“I-uh, I don’t know.” He stood up and walked over to the window. Everything still looked the same, but he wouldn’t be shocked if it did start to snow any minute now. “I’m hoping it’ll be a dusting. Neither of you packed for snow.”

“Well ya win some and ya lose some. It happens, and besides Jack’s too much angel to let a little snow stop him.”

“Thanks,” Jack smiled. He picked his phone back up and laid back down on the bed.

Dean rolled to his side to face Cas. He raised an eyebrow. “See. No big deal.”

“You really should pack for these kinds of situations. At the very least you should keep some hats, gloves, and scarves in the trunk.”

A small chuckle escaped Dean. “No one’s bundled me up that much since...well, my mom.”

The volume of his voice lessened enough that Cas stepped forward and cautiously sat on the bed’s side. “Do you still remember much of it?”

Dean shook his head, and then rolled onto his back. He couldn’t look at Cas while he searched his memory. “I’m not even sure if it’s real….or a dream I latched onto as a kid.” His voice fell to a hushed tone.

“Tell me about it.”

“It’s not much.” Dean closed his eyes. Mostly he could see her smile. It was like she held their whole family’s supply of happiness in that smile. “I remember seeing so much white that I wasn’t sure if I could remember green anymore.”

There was a light chuckle above him. Dean cracked an eye open and caught the fond smile hooked on Cas’ face. The angel darted his gaze away, and Dean snapped his eyes shut again. His skin started prickling with heat.

“Mostly,” Dean continued after clearing his throat. “I remember her winding a big scarf around my neck and then my face. And then….how nice it was to keep my face hidden from the cold.”

“It was like she was wrapping you up in her love,” Jack mused out loud.

Dean’s whole body stiffened. Somehow he’d forgotten his presence. Slowly, he turned to peek over at Jack.

He wasn’t looking at anyone in particular. Jack’s eyebrows were furrowed. “I don’t have….I, um...do you think my mom would’ve done the same?”

Something tightened in Dean’s chest. It was hard to remember sometimes that Jack was still just a little kid. Hell, he was probably the same age as Dean in the memory he was recalling. His bottom lip twitched. “Yeah, kid. Of course.”

“Dean. Dean. Dean. Dean, wake up.”

He opened his eyes to see Jack staring out the motel window. “Whaaat?”

With a wide grin, Jack looked at him over his shoulder. “It snowed. Come look!”

Dean kicked the blanket off and pulled himself out of bed. Stiffly, he stopped next to Jack and saw the entire parking lot buried under a few inches of snow. A small smile tugged at the corner of his mouth.

“Do you think it’s enough to build a snowman?”

“No,” Dean rubbed at the back of his neck. He went back over to his bed and sat down. “I mean, maybe. Don’t know if it’s the right kind of snow.”

Jack turned to face him. He frowned.

“When we’re back at the bunker, you can build a whole army if you want. Okay?”

And just like that, Jack was beaming. He went back over to his side of the room and busied himself with his phone.

Dean glanced around the room. His head still felt fuzzy from sleeping. “Where’s Cas?”

“I don’t know,” Jack answered, not looking up from his phone. “He left a note saying to wait inside until he got back.”

Rolling his eyes, Dean got ready for the day. He was tying his boots when the motel door opened, letting an icy gust into the room.

“Sorry, that took longer than I expected.”

Cas stopped in the center of the room. Dean’s eye couldn’t help but stare at the single plastic bag in the angel’s hand. His eye then trailed up to the new piece of clothing around Cas’ neck: a scarf. It was orange and red with ugly, giant pom-poms at either end.

Jack excitedly flew out of the bathroom at the sound of Cas’ voice. “Where did you go?”

With a soft smile, Cas handed the bag to Jack. “I thought I’d pick something up for you.”

“Thank you,” Jack answered running his hands across the scarf he pulled out of the bag.

It was red and purple, and Dean couldn’t look at them a second longer. Clenching his jaw, he exited the room and regretted it immediately. The air was cold, and his hands were already sore thinking about all the ice he was gonna have to scrape off of baby.

He’d just gotten the brush out of the trunk when he heard the crunching of footsteps approaching.

“You left far too quickly.”

Dean tried to smile, but his mouth felt wrong. He shrugged. “Felt like you and the kid were having a moment. Besides I really need to get baby ready to go.”

Cas sighed, and his head tilted to the side. “I know, but….” He started to unwrap the scarf from himself. His eyes didn’t leave Dean’s for a second. “you didn’t wait for me to give you this.”

“You don’t need to give me your scarf, Cas.”

The corner of Cas’ mouth pulled until the faint glimpse of white could be seen. Blinding, like all the snow and ice surrounding them. “This isn’t mine. I bought it for you.”

Dean blinked.

“Luckily, I had a feeling-” Cas began. He looped It around Dean’s neck. “that you’d be out here digging the car out-” He carefully wrapped it again, and again. “before I got back. So-”

Cas adjusted the fabric in places so Dean could squish his face deeper into the fabric for warmth.

Already, only Dean's eyes and the top of his head was uncovered. He could smell the familiar scent of Cas' favorite coffee order as he breathed in.

“I figured that I’d warm it up for you.”

Dean felt unable to speak. Like his tongue wasn’t made for making sounds anymore. The scarf’s warmth sank into his skin and the only thought coming to mind was that: Jack was right. He was never more grateful than he was in that moment for that scarf obscuring the shape of the next three words his mouth took.

Ask me more writing prompts (I’m using these as warm ups so can’t guarantee the speed I post in)

#my writing #spn

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wormstacheangel · 3 years

Text

15x18 coda fic...?

I had an idea that bugged me so I wrote it. What if Dean just...threw himself at Cas while the Empty was taking him? Then this happened. (comfort/fluff/first kiss)

No.

Cas looked back at him. A smile so big and loving but heartbreaking all at once was still on his lips.

No. No. No.

Dean watched it all from the ground where Cas had shoved him to protect him again because that’s what Cas does. He protects him. He saves him time after time. Everything he has done has been for...him. He always knew that Cas made it pretty clear but he could never accept it. It made no sense for an angel of the lord to sacrifice so much for him, for him specifically, but here he was doing it again. Sacrificing his life once again but it’s so much different this time.

“No!” A shaky cry came out of him as he half lunged and crawled to take a hold of Cas’s legs that were already covered in black goo.

Dean can feel the goo start to envelop him as well and while fear was completely eating at him, there was nothing in the damn universe that could make him let go. He held his breath as he pressed his face into Cas’s thigh and felt the goo crawling up his neck to finally swallow them.

Then it was silent.

Dean felt like he just woke up but he knew only a few seconds had passed. His grip was still tight on Cas’s legs but the goo was gone now. He let out the breath of air that was burning his lungs before he even dared to look up, the glare was so clearly burning into the top of his head.

“Dean?”

Dean still wasn’t thinking clearly as he hid his face into Cas’s thigh. Clinging to him as he kneeled at his feet because Cas was still with him. He could feel a sob trying to escape from his throat but he just buried his face deeper into Cas. Letting the tears fall but still, the goodbye was not processing with him. He was about to lose Cas again but he’s right here. He was still with him.

“Dean?”

Cas pulled his white-knuckled grip off of him as he kneeled down to look at him but Dean couldn’t stand the separation so he pulled Cas into a strong hug. One that must have surprised Cas as he made a gasping noise while Dean hid his face into the side of Cas’s face. Feeling the tickle of his hair on his lips and nose. Breathing in the scent of rain, Cas always carries and lets one of his hands buried themselves into his hair while the other wrapped around his shoulders to hold him close. He has him.

Then he felt Cas’s shoulders shake. His arms remained at his side as his chin rested on Dean’s shoulder. He could just picture Cas’s face and it made him squeeze his eyes shut as he let out his own gasping sob. His hand grasping at Cas’s coat afraid to let go. Afraid he would really disappear again if his hold loosens because he has his own confession to say but everything was overwhelming him.

“Cas,” Dean took a shaky breath against Cas’s skin before he rested his forehead on Cas’s shoulder. “Tell me again. Say it again. I need to know...I need to know it’s really you.”

Dean didn’t move as Cas’s hands finally touched him. He started making soft strokes down his spine, comforting and warm. Not at all desperate the way Dean was holding him.

“Dean, Chuck has no hold on me. You know that. I’m real. My feelings are real. We… we are real.” His voice was still calm but he could hear softness in them still. The way he was still holding back cries.

“Then say it again.” Dean pushed back just enough to take Cas’s face in between his shaky hands. Their eyes meet for the first time since being here and Dean had to fight back another sob as he meets those watery blue eyes. With his thumbs, he wiped Cas’s tears away and desperately said, “Please. I need to hear you say it again.”

He smiled again as he started saying his name but Dean shook his head as he let his head hang between them. A shaky breath or laugh escaping him as his mind still fogged up, nothing making sense anymore.

“No, wait, shh!” He shook his head as if everything would clear up but he was still feeling a bit dizzy. Not ready to hear the words and finally accept them. “Shit, fuck, I’m not ready. Wait”

He heard Cas chuckle, felt the shaking in between his hands, before he said, “You’re so stupid.”

“Gee thanks, Cas, and here I thought you loved me.” The teasing came out so naturally that it shocked Dean when those words escaped his lips.

Of course, Cas would not skip a beat as he said, “I do - love you I mean - but I also think you’re an idiot at times. Like right now for instance.” He pulled Dean’s hands off of him but held them tightly on his lap. Dean looked up to meet his glare. “Jumping into the grasp of The Empty? Really, Dean?”

“Cas, I-I can’t lose you again.” Dean shook his head as he looked back at him. Watching Cas strain to hold back his emotions as tears continued to flow.

“Dean, it’s fine. I was at peace with my decision. If it meant saving you,” Cas looked down at their hands moving them just enough so the desperation wasn’t showing. Cas sat back on the black hollow floor and held one of Dean’s hands. Held it as if they were going to go for a nice walk instead of discussing his own sacrifice. “I’ll do anything.”

Dean sat next to him, shoulder to shoulder as their hands rested on Cas’s knee. “So what? I’m supposed to willingly let you go?”

“Yes.”

“No.”

Cas rolls his eyes as he uses his free hand to wipe his face. “I don’t want to argue with you.”

“Well, I do.”

“No.” Cas says firmly as he shakes his head. He made a move to let go of their hands but Dean only tightened his grip. Cas sighs as he looks down at their hands again before looking back at Dean. Softer but still an edge. “No, you need to leave.”

“He’s right you know.” Dean turns towards the familiar voice and sees Meg appear before them. Her smile wild and manic as she glared down at them. He instantly stood up to block Cas from her view. “No humans in my void.”

“I’m not leaving without, Cas.” He could feel Cas’s hand gripping at the back of his shirt, ready to yank him out of the way at the first sign of trouble.

“Dean,” Cas started but Dean reached behind him to squeeze his wrist.

“Shut up.” Dean tells him before looking back at Meg or not Meg. “We’re kind of a package deal so you might as well throw us both back.”

She chuckles before she takes a shaky step towards them. “Humans aren’t supposed to be here. You shouldn’t be here. You’re being too noisy. Everything is too loud now!”

Dean pulled at Cas’s wrist to pull him in close. To just make sure he was there. “Then let us continue our conversation back at home and we’ll leave you alone.”

“No! Castiel and I had a deal.”

“Fine! Send me back alone but you’ll never get peace.” Dean threatened as he pulled Cas along with him when he took a step towards Meg. “You’re gonna deal with my stubborn ass poking at you again and again until I get him back. Cause trust me, sweetheart, I’m not someone who gives up easily. I killed Death already, twice, and you’re going to be next on my list.”

Meg just started to giggle, low and deep, before she started to full-on laugh. Throwing her head back before she looked back at them with her wild smile. She grabbed her head as she closed her eyes. “I just...I want to sleep! Let me sleep.”

“What if we promised not to bother you?” Cas stepped forward and away from Dean’s grasp. “We were all betrayed by Billie but what if we work together again. Help each other get what we want. You get your peace again and we-”

“You guys walk out of here?” Cas only nodded while Dean couldn’t stop himself from reaching for Cas, his hands grasping at his trench coat. She eyed them both. “I never want either of you or that...Jack, here again.”

“Got it. We can do that.” Dean says as he stands beside Cas. Looking over at him while Cas kept his eyes forward. Standing strong and confident while his face was a blank stare but Dean could see his mind running. “Cas?”

“We still need to defeat Chuck. I can’t promise I’ll make it out of that alive. I may be back here in a few hours or days after we return.” Cas doesn’t look at him as he talked but at Meg who was glaring back at him. “If you help us defeat him maybe we can all finally have peace.”

“How?”

“I summon you again.”

Dean opened his mouth to argue but Cas shook his head at him, holding his hand out to stop him from talking but Dean instead took it. Intertwining their fingers together to let Cas know that if it’s a dumb suicidal plan again then he better be ready for him to follow him into the damn dark again.

“I summon you when I am close to Chuck and you-”

“And I’ll bring him here.” Meg finished Cas’s sentence with a smirk. “Where he is powerless.”

“He has Amara in him so that would keep them both alive. Keep the balance.” Dean adds as Cas eyes finally turn to look at him with a smile on his lips as things start to fall in place. He squeezes his hand with a hopeful look because maybe, just maybe, they had a chance for some real happiness.

“We got work to do then.” Cas tells Dean before turning back to Meg.

She looks back at them with a less strained and creepy smile before she says, “I’ll be waiting for your summon then? I’m still connected to you, Castiel, so I’ll hear you.”

Cas gave a solid nod while Dean didn’t like the sound of that at all. He was about to open his mouth to ask what that meant but then Meg waved her hand and they were in the dark again.

Dean woke up face down back in the dungeon. He blinked awake as he sat up trying to get his head on straight when he sprang up to look for Cas, afraid he was left behind. That he was tricked and this was how he finds out that he actually lost Cas. He lost him before he could even-

“Oh.” Dean turns to find Cas passed out behind him. He was laying on his back with his tie draped across his face. He couldn’t help but chuckle wanting to add another picture to his collection but there were more important things to do, to say, right now. “Cas?”

He crawled over to him and moved his tie as he shook his shoulders to wake him. “Come on, sleeping beauty, time to get up.”

Cas groaned as his eyes tighten up before he opens them, squinting up at Dean with a confused haze. “Dean?”

“Yeah, buddy, come on.” Dean helped sit him but then he was pulled into an overwhelming hug. The relief that was running out of Cas was heavy as his grip was tight but for the first time, Cas turned his head to hide his face into Dean’s neck. “Cas?”

Cas shook his head and once again Dean felt the angel shake with silent cries.

Dean held on to him as he tried to comfort him but his own tears were blinding him. Cas was here, alive and in his arms. He almost lost him again and just like every other time he wasn’t sure how he was supposed to go on. How was he supposed to care about saving a world that he wanted to escape from? Now, now everything was right again. Well, almost everything.

Dean pulled back just enough to look back at Cas’s red-rimmed eyes, the most he has ever seen the angel cry.

“You’re a mess.” He reached over to wipe Cas’s face with his sleeve and that made Cas slowly smile before a choke of a laugh escaped him.

“Yeah, well you don’t look so hot either.” Cas copied him, Dean’s face being wiped clean by the rough fabric of the dirty old trench coat. His smile slow-growing before he was grinning, dazzling, and beautiful as his fingers then replaced the fabric. Then the smile became a pout again as he tried to fight back more tears. “I’m so sorry, Dean. I didn’t want to leave you but I saw no other way to save you.”

His fingers reached to caress Dean’s face with no hesitation. Dean cloaked Cas’s hands with his own before he asked again. “Tell me now.”

Cas rolled his eyes as he shared his you’re-such-an-idiot smile. “Dean, are you sure this time?”

“Yeah, Cas, say it again.”

Cas features all soften as he relaxed while he looked into his eyes. There was never fear in Cas’s eyes while he took a deep breath. He looked so happy so...in love.

“I love you, Dean.”

Dean let go of the breath he must have been holding as he read Cas’s lips. His voice echoing in his head, trying to compare both of the confessions but they both sounded so confident. This time though it wasn’t a goodbye. No, this was just the beginning for them.

Dean let his forehead fall against Cas’s own, a move that surprised Cas as he froze under the touch. He felt too overwhelmed with it all but it’s true. His angel loved him, the words that always were unspoken between them were finally out in the open. That whole speech was Cas. It was how he truly felt about Dean and maybe he wasn’t as good with his words as Cas but he could at least say it.

“I love you, Cas.” Dean fought the lump in his throat. “I love you. You...you have me. You always had me.”

“Dean.” Cas gasped out still unmoving as all of this was new territory for them but it wasn’t weird. It wasn’t uncomfortable but just unsure. Still hesitant. As if they both couldn’t believe they finally crossed this dumb line they drew themselves. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah, dumbass,” Dean pulled back just enough that their noses touched but he wasn’t ready to be so far away from him just yet. “Are you?”

“Yes!” Cas said sounding half annoyed that Dean ever doubted him in the first place and half thrilled that he could finally say it. “It’s one of the few things I know for certain. I love you, Dean.”

“Cool. Can I…?” Dean wanted to ask but now he finally felt the embarrassment, the one that always crawled up his neck when they were found too close together. Lost in each other’s gaze and always drifting closer without words.

“Please do.”

Dean watched Cas's eyes drift closed and just when he got the confidence to lean in he heard his name being called out in the halls. Desperate and scared.

“Sam?” Cas turned towards the hall and heard Jack call back to him. “Jack!”

Dean let himself be pulled up by Cas before they were both almost tackled down by their kid. “You’re alive!”

“Barely,” Dean mumbled as Cas turned to narrow his eyes at him, telling him not to worry the kid so much. “We’re fine. How are you guys?”

Sam walked in then and they get the cliff notes of Sam and Jack’s missing person’s case. Then it was their turn to do the same, leaving out the whole them part out of it. Now they had to figure out how they can make Chuck bring all these people back before they shove his ass into the Empty.

“Come on, we can check the town out.” Sam tells them and Jack follows right behind him.

Cas was going to follow them right out the door but Dean then grabbed his arm to pull him back to him. Taking his face in his hands and before Cas could say anything, though his wide eyes made him believe that Cas wasn’t about to say anything to stop him, Dean leaned in to finally kiss him.

Letting himself melt against Cas as he has always wanted to. Moving his hands to wrap around his waist, under the coat and jacket, to hold him close to his chest. Wanting more as Cas carefully rested his hands on his shoulders as if not knowing what to do with them but he was so confident in the kiss as he moved his lips along with his own with the same eagerness.

Then he pulled away too quickly as his hot breath tickled Dean’s lips. His bright eyes looking down at his lips then back at his eyes. “We have to go, Dean.”

“Okay,” Dean leaned down for a quick peek and he couldn’t stop his chuckle as Cas chased after his lips. “Let’s go save the world and then we can pick this up later. Deal?”

Cas nodded, flashing Dean a smile before he said, “Of course, Dean.”

“Guys! Come on!”

Dean takes Cas’s hand squeezing it before they raced back down the hall to meet up with Sam. A last chapter in Chuck’s story starting but they knew they had the power to write their own ending because they are real. This is real.

#Destiel #Deancas #Supernatural #SPN #A More Profound OTP #My Writing #SPN Spoilers #s15 #I just pretty much ignored everything lol #also i needed a kiss so yay #i needed a lot of tears and forhead touches too #destiel fic #destiel first kiss #destiel fanfic #15x18 fic #spn coda 15x18 #coda fic #WormstacheWrites

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surlybobbies · 3 years

Text

(here’s a late holiday offering for all of you)

deancas, 2.5k, AU, friends to lovers, baby jack

-----

They stopped at a park on the way back to Dean’s apartment. Baby’s trunk was full of gifts, evidence of a successful Christmas shopping trip, and so it was with satisfaction that Dean leaned against the hood of the car and pulled out his burger from the takeout bag.

Cas was similarly content, and they enjoyed each other’s company in silence for a few minutes as they began their meal. At a nearby jungle gym, children threw snowballs at each other from the little flakes of ice they’d been able to scrape together. Dean tried not to watch them too closely - you could never be too careful - but Cas observed them with a furrowed brow.

Apropos of nothing, he said, “How do parents handle the Santa situation?”

Dean wiped his mouth with a napkin. “What do you mean?”

“When would one begin telling a child about Santa? And how does one deal with the inevitable fallout when they realize he isn’t real?”

Dean’s stomach turned a little bit. “You thinkin’ about kids all of a sudden?”

“Not sure,” Cas said, examining his burger and plucking out a piece of onion with his fingers.

Another silence descended. Dean frowned at his meal, his appetite lost.

Meanwhile, Cas plucked out another onion slice. “I don’t think I believed in Santa,” he said eventually. “But I knew about him. I wish I could remember who first told me the tale.”

“I learned about him when I was in middle school,” Dean admitted. “The first time I stayed at one school for more than a few months. Pretty sure by then I was too old to believe.”

Cas lifted his eyes to the playground again. “No doubt at least a few of these children believe in Santa.” He sucked some stray ketchup off his thumb, and Dean had to look away.

“Good for them,” he said. “They should enjoy being kids.”

“In a few years, maybe even this year, their parents are going to have to admit to their lies.”

“It’s harmless,” Dean replied, waving away Cas’s curious stare. “It’s good for ‘em. Teaches ‘em to question things, question motives. Gets ‘em ready for the adult world of backstabbing and lies.”

Cas smiled at him. It was wide and affectionate. “I thought you said they should enjoy being kids?”

Dean bit down on a reflexive smile. “It’s one little thing, alright? Santa’s like - 1% of the kid experience. They’ve got the other 99% to think about - cooler, more important shit.”

“Like what?”

“Like the shit they do on the daily, y’know? If they can con their parents into letting them have candy for breakfast. Or sneaking down at midnight to have some ice cream. Or building a pillow fort. Or stickers. Or farts.”

“Farts?”

“Kids like farts.”

“No one likes farts.”

“You don’t know kids then.”

Cas conceded with a tilt of his head. “You’re right. Maybe they do enjoy farts.”

They finished their burgers and sipped at their sodas. It was when Dean was returning from the trash can that he saw the wistful look on Cas’s face as he listened to the yells and laughter of the kids. He smacked Cas on the arm. “You good?”

Up close, Dean could see the downturn of Cas’s lips. “Just thinking about the future,” Cas said eventually. When he turned to Dean, he was smiling woodenly.

Dean’s gut turned sour again, and he knew himself better than to blame it on the burger. “So you are thinkin’ about kids.”

Cas looked down at his shoes. “I think I might be.”

Dean ran a hand over his chin, then cleared his throat. “Good for you, man. I think you’d be a good dad.”

Cas looked at him. “And you too. You’d be an amazing father.”

The expression on Cas’s face - sincere, soft, affectionate - made Dean’s throat tight. He laughed too loudly. “Hey, listen, when you do have kids, you can tag me in any time, alright?”

The wistfulness had vanished from Cas’s face. He was smiling. “Agreed. I’ll let you handle the Santa situation.”

-----

Cas started fostering Jack a year later, and it was apparent very early on to Dean that fatherhood was Cas’s calling. Yes, he was always tired, and yes, he didn’t have nearly as much time for Dean as he did before, but Jack was thriving and Cas was happy - and because of that, Dean was happy, even if it meant losing Cas’s attention to fatherhood.

Dean’s disappointment was lessened by the fact that Jack quickly became just as attached to Dean as he was to his foster dad, so if Dean spent a few days a week at Cas’s place to “help out with the baby,” no one questioned his motives.

“You ever going to tell him?” Sam asked one day as he and Dean watched Cas carry Jack around Sam’s garden. Jack was a grabby kid, and Cas was constantly having to stop him from putting flowers in his mouth.

Dean didn’t bother asking what Sam was talking about. “He doesn’t need that on his plate right now.”

Sam raised his eyebrows at Dean, unconvinced. “So when? When he gives Jack up? You and I both know that’s never happening.”

“Then never,” Dean snapped, even though just the thought of holding it all in for one more day made Dean’s chest feel tight.

Sam ran a hand over his mouth like he was trying to stop himself from saying anything else, but Sam was nothing if not nosy. “We both know never’s not an option. It’s gotta be now, Dean. Or if not now, then soon. You’re already playing house with Cas. Plus there’s a kid involved now - a kid who absolutely adores you - so I hate to say it, but if things have to go south, it has to happen before Jack’s any older.”

Dean stared at Sam. “That’s fucked up, Sammy.”

“Don’t act like you didn’t know this already,” Sam said, though his tone was gentle. “I’m just saying out loud what you don’t want to admit.”

Cas was approaching with Jack, so Dean didn’t respond.

“I apologize,” Cas said to Sam. “Jack might have destroyed a few blooms.” He opened his palm and offered the crushed red blooms up for inspection. It could have been Dean’s bloody heart for how much he was hurting.

It was obvious that Sam was still watching Dean out of the corner of his eye, but he spared a smile and a tummy tickle for Jack. “No harm done, little guy.”

-----

Dean knew Sam was right, knew that for Jack’s sake, his two de facto parents needed to be on the same page about what they were to each other - but there was never a good time to bring it up. Was Dean supposed to just spill his heart out onto the dining room table with Jack’s sliced fruit? He contemplated asking Sam for advice, but 1) Dean did not want nor would he accept any pity from his little brother and 2) Sam was busy getting ready for his wedding.

So Dean, Cas, and Jack went on with their lives - separate but hopelessly intertwined, and all Dean could do was lie awake at night hoping that when the time came, he’d be able to make sense of the mess of tangled knots they’d created.

-----

Jack made the cutest ring bearer. Cas was a groomsman, but he’d asked to escort Jack up the aisle, and Sam and Eileen had loved the idea. Dean had loved the idea too, mostly because he knew he wouldn’t have been able to stomach the sight of Cas walking down the aisle in his smartly-tailored suit, arm-in-arm with Eileen’s cousin Sara. In the moment, however, Dean loved the idea simply because Cas was incandescent, smiling widely down at Jack, holding Jack’s hand as the toddler took his too-big, unsteady steps down the garden path.

At the end of the walk, when Cas had deposited Jack safely with Gabriel in the front row, he took his place by Dean’s side.

Dean couldn’t help but smile at him, helpless with affection. “I’m happy for you, Cas,” he said, just as the guests stood up to welcome the bride.

Cas ducked his head bashfully, but he put a hand on Dean’s back in acknowledgment. “Thank you.”

-----

Cas cornered him at the reception, where Dean was lurking at the edges of the dance floor. “Can we talk?” he said, leaning in to be heard over the music.

Dean had two servings of whiskey in him. “Always, Cas.”

Cas looked him oddly, but he said nothing. He led Dean away from the reception tent (where Gabriel and Garth were taking turns to dance with Jack in their arms) and stopped when they were far enough away to hear each other without yelling.

Cas was pink-cheeked from champagne, his hair was a mess, and Dean was so in love with him it hurt. “What do you need?” he asked, because concentrating on what Cas needed kept Dean from focusing on what Dean wanted.

“I thought I should tell you before it gets any farther in the proceedings - I’ve started the formal process of adopting Jack.”

Dean’s heart was full to bursting. He swallowed down a sudden urge to cry. “That’s great news, man,” he said, pulling Cas into a rough hug. “Congratulations!”

Cas’s arms wrapped tight around Dean, his chin hooked over Dean’s shoulder. There was a telltale sniff at his ear, so Dean just held on tighter to his best friend.

When Cas drew away a minute later, his nose was red. He kept his hands at Dean’s elbows. “I’ve asked so much of you already - “

“Stop right there,” Dean said, shaking his head, “because that’s not true. Whatever I did, I did because I wanted to. Because I’d do anything for that kid.”

Cas looked at Dean so tenderly it made Dean’s throat tight. “And I’m so grateful for that, Dean. You’ve been the best support I could have asked for.” Cas looked down, his eyebrows furrowing. The hands at Dean’s elbows tightened. “But I have to ask of you one more thing.”

There was no universe out there where Dean would have refused Cas anything. “Spit it out, Cas.”

“If something were to happen to me,” Cas said, eyes brimming, “would you take him in?”

Dean took hold of Cas’s elbows too, a reassurance that Cas was still there in front of him, still alive, still breathing. “Cas, you’re going to be kicking for a long time. Jack will have grandbabies before you check out.”

Cas smiled softly. He indulged Dean. “Still, if I should go before you - “

Helpless, absolutely wrecked, Dean closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Sammy had just gotten married to the best woman on Earth a few hours prior. A few yards away, the people Dean loved were dancing to “The Cha-Cha Slide.” And now Cas was asking Dean to take on the biggest honor of his life in the same sentence that Cas was talking about his inevitable death. Dean’s eyes welled up.

Cas touched Dean’s face for a brief moment. “I’m sorry to do this to you.”

Dean swiped at his eyes stubbornly. “Cas, I meant it when I said I’d do anything for that kid. If he ever loses you, he’s going to have me. Don’t even think about apologizing for that.”

“Thank you,” Cas said. There were tears on his cheeks too. “That makes me feel less scared of the future.”

Dean sniffed. He straightened Cas’s tie. “But hey, no takebacks, alright? Even if you go and get yourself hitched, I’m not giving Jack up.”

Cas’s mouth lifted at the corner, but Dean knew it was just for show. “I don’t think marriage is in the cards for me, Dean,” Cas admitted.

It was the way Cas looked at him that made Dean remember what Sam had said a few months before. If Dean was ever going to say something, it had to be right at this moment.

“Listen, Cas,” Dean said, clearing his throat, “now that we know Jack’s gonna be sticking around, you should know something.”

The hands at Dean’s elbows tightened again. “Tell me,” Cas said, his eyes growing worried. He stepped closer, studying Dean’s face.

Dean was crying again, and he despised it. “I’m in love with you,” he said. He was terrified, anxious, and angry with himself at the same time. “So if that changes things - if you want me to fuck off and never talk to you or Jack again - now’s the time to tell me.”

Cas took a shaky breath. He cradled Dean’s face. “My love,” he murmured, eyes warm though they were still brimming with tears. “Love of my life.”

Dean almost laughed. Incredulous, he asked, “What? Who, me?”

Cas kissed him. It tasted like salt, and Dean was still crying, and honestly he had no idea what was happening, but Cas was patient with him, kissing his cheek when Dean did nothing but stare.

He drew back after the first few seconds, smiling despite Dean’s shock. “Yes, you,” he confirmed. His hands went to Dean’s tie. His voice was thick when he spoke again. “So no, in case it isn’t obvious, I do not want you to ‘fuck off.’”

This had not been what Dean was expecting. Tentatively, he touched Cas’s face, just a brush of fingers against Cas’s cheek, not bothering to hide his amazement when Cas smiled at him.

“Kind of slow on the uptake,” Cas said. His nose was still pink. “Maybe I should be in charge of Jack’s studies.”

It hit Dean all at once. Cas was his. Jack was his. Everything he’d ever wanted in this world was his. He kissed Cas properly this time.

-----

They returned to the reception a few minutes later. Eileen, upon seeing Cas’s glossy eyes and pink nose, instinctively grabbed a butter knife to throw at Dean’s throat, but Sam tugged her arm down and pointed at Dean and Cas’s joined hands.

The pair mingled with the guests hand-in-hand for most of the night, only letting go to pick up Jack and swing him between them.

Later on, in the parking lot, with Jack asleep in his car seat and buckled safely in the back seat of the Impala, Cas turned to Dean, who had his arm around Cas’s waist.

Cas smiled at him. He said two words: “Marry me.”

Dean didn’t know how he had any tears left in him. “Jesus. Give a guy a break,” he said, his voice cracking.

“Earlier I said marriage wasn’t in the cards for me,” Cas explained, smiling widely, apparently pleased that he was making Dean cry so much. “I don’t want you to misunderstand - it’s in the cards if it’s you.”

Dean touched his forehead to Cas’s, so happy he could barely get any words out. “Cas, you know it’s a yes.”

-----

Jack was five years old and came home from kindergarten with a coloring sheet of Santa. Cas looked at Dean, mouth thin. “I’m tagging you in,” he said, then left the room.

“Can we see Santa at the mall, dad?” Jack asked, tongue between his teeth as he scribbled with his crayon.

Dean put a hand on Jack’s back. “Sure, bud,” he said. “You can tell him what you want for Christmas.”

He pulled out his phone. You’re dealing with the tooth fairy, he texted Cas.

Fine. You talk to him about the Easter Bunny then.

-----

Hope you liked it! I only ask that you do me one favor if you did - go and read my most recent fic on ao3 - I posted it at a dumb time and wish more people could see it.

#destiel #deancas #destiel fic #deancas fic #holiday fic #friends to lovers #kc fic

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tearsofgrace · 3 years

Text

eternity with you

that’s right. 12 days after the gd finale aired i finally wrote a mf coda

wc: 2.1k, tags: john winchester’s a+ parenting, angst, but happy ending, love confessions, first kiss

edit: thanks @fandomstuff67 for the title you queen

also on archive

“Cas helped,” Bobby said with a smile, looking over at Dean to catch his reaction.

Dean felt a jolt of electricity run through him, and he fought to control his face. He was in Heaven now. Cas was in Heaven now. He gulped, trying to stop the shaking.

“He’s-” he started. He couldn’t say it. Otherwise it might slip away. He’d hadn’t even mentioned Cas’ name since it happened… it hurt too much. It hurt too much to think about what Cas had said. To think about how he’d just stood there, the world collapsing all around him.

“Cas is alive,” Bobby finished with a smile.

“Alive,” Dean repeated slowly, tasting the word on his tongue. Cas was alive. “Where?” he blurted before he could stop himself.

Bobby raised an eyebrow and took another sip of beer. “Don’t know. Could be anywhere in Heaven. He and Jack don’t really stay in one place.”

Dean gulped again and nodded. He was sure he was being obvious… but at this point, what did it matter? He had to find Cas. He had to find Cas and tell him- well, and give him an answer. He had to explain why he hadn’t gotten him out while he was on Earth. Had to explain that he’d tried… even if Sam didn’t know.

“It’s a big, new world out there.” Bobby was still smiling, a peace in his eyes that Dean had rarely, if ever, seen when he was alive. “I guess the question is… what are you gonna do now, Dean?”

Find Cas, he thought immediately. But he didn’t say it. He hadn’t even processed the fact that Cas was gone yet, much less that he was in love with-

“I need to go see my folks,” he said through gritted teeth. Then he took a steadying breath and looked up from his beer to Bobby. “Then I’m gonna find Cas.” He held the older hunter’s gaze, almost challenging him to comment. But Bobby just smiled back at him and nodded.

“Well, you’ll need that then,” he said, nodding to the open field in front of them.

Even with his thoughts swirling and his heart still pounding in his chest, Dean couldn’t stop the smile that formed when he saw his Baby sitting ready and waiting. That was some consolation, at least. Some consolation for being separated from his brother, from his life, from the apple-pie job he’d been about to take. But there was no use dwelling on the past now. He was dead. And he wasn’t going back… not this time. So, he might as well put a few things to bed while he was here.

Slipping behind the wheel felt as safe as it always did. Baby hadn’t changed. Even the imperfections had stuck, and he was grateful for it. People always thought paradise meant perfection, but he didn’t think so. No, paradise was something else. It was acceptance. It was truth. It was family.

He waved goodbye to Bobby and pulled out onto the road, driving slowly to look for the house. He wasn’t surprised when he found it. It looked exactly like the old house in Lawrence. Complete with the tree in front.

His nerves started buzzing more as he walked up the long drive to the porch. He should just go find Cas now. This wasn’t important.

But before he could turn to leave, the door swung open and his mom was wrapping him in a giant hug, tears wet on her cheeks. She was younger than when he knew her. More like the Mary he’d seen when he was thrown into the past. She looked happier too. Free of the worries of the world.

“You made it,” she said simply, her arms still tight around him.

“Yeah,” he said with a laugh. He held her tight, the tornado of emotions inside him threatening to break free. Then he looked up and saw the reason he was here. His heart nearly stopped, but by some heavenly miracle, it kept beating.

“Hey, Dad.”

John nodded, a smile breaking out over his youthful face. “Dean,” he managed, before going in for a hug.

Instinctively, Dean backed up, his hands held up defensively. He took another deep breath, glancing back to the car as if he still had a chance to run, and then turned to face John.

The smile had melted from his face and he folded his arms across his chest.

Dean shoved his hands in his pockets and looked at his feet. Maybe he was being stupid. Because it hadn’t really been that bad, right? He’d made it all up. His dad had been through a lot. He had every right to treat them like he did. And Dean had never measured up. Had never been good enough. That was on him.

That’s not who you are, Cas whispered in his ear. He cleared his throat and forced himself to look up.

“Mom, can you give us a minute?” His eyes never left John, but he saw her nod out of the corner of his eye before disappearing back into the house. John stepped outside and closed the door, gesturing to a set of deck chairs.

“We can stand,” Dean said, his voice already tight.

“What the hell is this about, boy?” His voice was low. More like the John Winchester that Dean remembered. More like the John Winchester that had been created when Mary died. Or, really, the John that had been there all along but had been hidden in empty promises and sweet nothings.

Dean clenched his fists, still hidden inside of his pockets, and forced himself to keep eye contact with his father. He was older than him here. His dad looked the same age as Mary, carefree even as his face slipped into a scowl. The youth didn’t make him any less intimidating. Didn’t stop memories of whiskey-fueled beatings from playing over and over in Dean’s head.

“You were wrong,” he said finally. His voice shook slightly, but he didn’t care. What was John going to do now? With Mary there, with them in Heaven… his hands were tied.

John snorted and leaned back against the doorframe. “About what?”

“I’m not worthless.” There was a lump in his throat now, but it was more from anger than anything else.

“Dean, let’s leave the past in the-”

“Shut up.”

John’s eyes widened and he took a step forward. When he spoke, his voice was even lower than before, shaking with anger. “What did you say to me?”

“I don’t owe you anything. You gave me nothing. But I needed to say that. Needed you to hear it. Because I finally know that you were wrong. All those years, all that pain… you were wrong.”

“You still talk like a goddamn fairy.”

Dean felt a shiver run down his spine but he held his ground. “Ever wonder why?” he spat.

“We’ve been over this, boy. Don’t tell me you forgot while I was away.” John took another step toward him, uncrossing his arms and letting them fall loosely at his sides.

Something shifted in Dean and some of the anger dissipated, replaced by confidence. Cas’ voice was still loud in his ear, telling him who he really was. Telling him this was okay. “You raised a faggot, John Winchester. Took me a long time to come around to it, too. But,” he shrugged, watching as his father’s eyes narrowed and his hands started to curl into tight fists, “I’m good with it now. I’m good with who I am. And, truthfully, I don’t give a fuck what you think.”

He saw the fist coming and ducked before taking a step backward.

“Something I gotta do,” he called as he walked away. “Tell Mom I love her. And I’ll be back.”

His heart was pounding in his chest but he didn’t dare look back. He knew if he did, he would crumple to the ground. His legs would just give out and he would take whatever punishment John deemed necessary. So he just walked. Got behind the wheel and tore away, his throat dry and his hands shaking but his heart at peace.

He drove for a while before he came back to his senses. Before what he’d done really sunk in. He could picture John talking to Mary, the disgust in his voice obvious. He honestly didn’t know what his mom would think. But at this point he didn’t care. There was only one thing on his mind. Only one infuriating angel he could think about. And he was here. Alive. In Heaven.

His hands were tight on the wheel as he pulled over to the side of the long road. It had gone through the forest for a while, but now it was hugging a beautiful coast line, the horizon seemingly miles away, the sun glittering off the waves.

Without thinking, he got out from the car and walked down the hill to the beach. He chose a rock on the edge of the sand to sit on, not wanting to venture further toward the ocean.

Then he closed his eyes and took a shaky breath. This was the easy part. He could do this.

“Cas,” he breathed into the empty air. Then he stopped. That was it. That was all he could say. Because he hadn’t said that name since- since Cas was taken. He hadn’t said that name since the angel had been standing in front of him, tear-streaked face filled with an expression of joy Dean had never seen before.

He tried to force more words out. But they just got caught in his throat, choking him until tears were filling his eyes and his breaths came in gasps.

Then, through his sobs, a familiar fluttering of wings rustled the air.

“Hello, Dean.”

All of his thoughts stopped. His mind was completely empty as he leapt from the rock facing the sea and whirled around to find Cas standing there, his expression blank.

Dean barely had time to take him in before he was crashing into him, his arms wrapping around the angel and holding him tightly to his chest. After a second, he remembered to breathe, and he took in Cas’ familiar scent that was now surrounding him.

“Dean,” Cas started as his arms came up from where they had been stiffly held at his sides to return the hug.

“Nope,” Dean said, his voice coming back. “You don’t get to talk.”

Reluctantly, he untangled himself from Cas’ arms, and looked into his eyes. He kept his hands on Cas’ shoulders, though, the touch grounding him.

There was fear in those blue eyes, but maybe hope too. Just a sliver of it.

Dean took another deep breath before letting the smile he had been holding back slip onto his face.

He shook his head, suddenly unable to stop the laughter bubbling in his stomach. “You asshole.”

Cas tilted his head and Dean’s laughter redoubled. He had thought he would be angry. Cas was alive, and he hadn’t even dropped in to let them know he was okay. But he didn’t care. Not in this moment. Because Cas was standing right in front of him. Cas was real.

The confusion on Cas’ face grew, his eyes squinting and his head tilting even further and suddenly Dean didn’t want to laugh anymore.

He surged forward, their lips meeting awkwardly as Cas stumbled backward. He held Cas tight to him, letting his hands drift upward into his hair, and finally Cas started kissing back.

When they pulled away for air, Cas’ expression was still guarded, though his defenses had started to slip away.

“I love you too, Cas.”

The rest of Cas’ walls fell down and he smiled. It wasn’t a huge smile, but it was better. It was soft, his eyes crinkled, and he looked at Dean like he was the most precious thing in the world.

There was too much to say. Too much to explain. Too many memories to relive. And they had all the time in the world. So Dean didn’t say anything at all. Instead, he slipped his hand into Cas’ and led him to the flat rock. He hopped up and patted the space next to him, waiting for Cas to get settled before he leaned onto his shoulder.

The sea air was everything he’d always imagined. Salty and fresh and calming.

The sun was hanging lower in the sky now. Like it knew they were here, watching it. Cas pulled Dean in tighter to him as they watched it slip lower down, colors exploding across the horizon.

The waves beat against the shore steadily and a breeze blew along with them, rustling Dean’s hair against Cas’ chin. They didn’t say anything that night. Just watched as the sunset faded into stars hanging over a sea of black.

They finally had what they’d never had on Earth. Time. And they were going to use every last second of it.

tag list below (ask to be added or removed) also when i was gone a lot of you changed your urls and idk what they are now so if you wanna drop me an ask w your new url feel free

@menjiiii @starlightcastiel @chaoticdean @larryforeveralways @dreamnovak @heller-jensen @tlakhtwritesdestiel @wanderingcas @prayedtoyou @good-things-do-happen-dean @jayus-fandom-writer @dean-you-assbutt-cas-loves-you @starrynightdeancas @radiantdean @piemaker-from-gallifrey @on-a-bender @eshaninjer @trasherasswood @dreadful-delight @feraladoration @trenchcas @contemplativepancakes @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @thefourthheadofcerberus @seffersonjtarship @randomblabbling @craftywitchywoman @adsp-destielcockles @tehmanda @castielscrookedtrenchcoat @queen-rowenas @expectingtofly @that-one-fandom-chick @quicksilver-ships @destielle @charmedbycastiel @cursed-or-not @faithcastiel @internetintroverts @sloth-with-y-yo-a-ti-cas

#spn fanfic #supernatural fanfic #spn fan fiction #destiel fanfic #deancas fic #destiel fic #destiel ficlet #my writing

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