#it's our biggest goal and probably the meaning of my life

[thedruidsforest]

The biggest thing that keeps me moving I think is my vision of the future, of waking up and drinking coffee every morning with my husband and our rescue dogs on our homestead in the forest, picking berries and fruit and veggies to preserve later, tending to the cows and sheep and bees, providing everything for ourselves and living in our own little circle of the world, away from everything and yet so absolutely entwined with everything.

#just musing but this shared goal makes me feel better than anything else could #it's our biggest goal and probably the meaning of my life #i want to grow all of my own food and spin my own yarn to make clothes from wool and sell plants and cottage foods at the farmers market #and make my own mead from my honeybees #personal

[pucksandpower]

Max Verstappen x Leclerc!Reader - Social Media AU

formulagossip added to their story

f1wagupdates

Liked by lightsoutmax, verstappenupdates, and 152,836 others

f1wagupdates Max Verstappen spotted leaving his hotel with a mystery woman this morning after celebrating winning his third World Championship last night. According to sources, the two partied together with the team and friends at a club following his victory before heading back to the hotel. Her face is hidden but rumor has it this could be a new romance for the World Champ. Looks like Max is enjoying the spoils of another successful season!

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lightsoutmax probably just a random groupie, max isn’t the relationship type

dutchlioness no way that’s a groupie

f1wagupdates i’m inclined to agree, they look pretty serious!

formulanone am i crazy or does that look like y/n leclerc to anyone else?

redbulletin you’re crazy

gridgossip i mean i wouldn’t be surprised. i bet this has been going on for a while between them! it would explain how she got the CTO job out of nowhere

f1girlie or she got it because she’s qualified and was literally trained by adrian newey to take over for him? it’s 2024, leave the misogyny at the door

maddermax i don’t think max would get involved with someone from his team

circuitqueen she looks so familiar but i can’t place her! it’s driving me crazy

verstappenupdates whoever she is, i need more details! our world champion’s love life is suddenly looking very interesting 😍

survivetodrive you need to learn how to stay out of drivers’ business

rblover for real! let the man live

maxverstappen1

Liked by y/n_leclerc, redbullracing, and 2,094,617 others

maxverstappen1 Five World Championships!

This one feels extra special because I get to celebrate with the love of my life who has been by my side for over three incredible years now ❤️

So I want to dedicate this championship to Y/N

Seeing Y/N thrive as Red Bull’s Chief Technical Officer and pursue her passion for motorsport after everything she has been through has been so special. Her brilliance and determination inspire me daily, both on and off the track. And her contributions to the team have been invaluable to our success. I am so lucky to have such an incredible partner to share these championships with

Winning races and championships is great but sharing my life with someone as smart, driven and caring as Y/N is the greatest gift I could ever ask for. I truly am the luckiest guy in the world. I can’t wait to see what the future holds for us both. Here’s to many more years of continuing to chase our dreams together!

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redbullracing our world champion found his perfect match! wishing you both continued success and happiness 🤩

christianhorner so proud of you two. the ultimate power couple!

danielricciardo i knew something was going on there. congrats you two!

maxverstappen1 you don’t have to pretend like you didn’t know about us

y/n_leclerc you literally third-wheeled our last date night … and the one last month … and the one over summer break

y/n_leclerc i love you with all my heart, champion! thank you for always being my biggest supporter. so blessed to have you in my life 🥰

charles_leclerc how could you do this, y/n? after everything our family did for you?

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verstappenupdates our guy is all grown up 🥹 you two are goals!

f1wagupdates omg! when did this happen??? why has it been a secret for so long?

lightsoutmax pretty sure they got together the year before y/n was hired by red bull

redbulletin and they probably kept it a secret because people would have found a way to twist it into something negative

officialorangearmy relationship goals to the max! you two are perfect together 🧡

y/n_leclerc

Liked by maxverstappen1, redbullracing, and 473,825 others

y/n_leclerc What a season! Winning a double championship for the second time feels so surreal. I am overwhelmed with gratitude for my incredible team at Red Bull Racing who made this possible through their tireless hard work. We did it 🏆

And most of all, I am grateful for my incredible partner. Max, you’ve supported me every step of the way, encouraging me to follow my dreams and become who I was meant to be. You showed me what true unconditional love feels like

I am where I am now because of you. Your spirit pushes me to achieve greatness. Your kindness lifted me up when I needed it most. Your smile keeps me going on tough days. I couldn’t ask for a better teammate in life ❤️

The future is so bright for us. I can’t wait to see what we create together next. I love you! Let’s keep aiming for the stars ✨

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maxverstappen1 you make me so proud every day! loving and winning with you feels incredible. can’t wait for the rest of our lives together ❤️

redbullracing the ultimate teammate on and off the track! you two are unstoppable 👊

christianhorner red bull is lucky to have such a power pair leading our team. more glory to come!

danielricciardo you guys are relationship goals! congrats champs

charles_leclerc how long until you throw away this “fairytale” like you did our family?

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*this user has been blocked*

y/n_leclercfanpage our inspiring queen found her king! you give us hope that dreams do come true

f1girlie not me literally crying tears of joy 😭 they are so perfect together

womeninmotorsport seeing powerful women thrive in f1 gives me life 👏

#f1 imagine #f1 #f1 fic #f1 fanfic #f1 fanfiction #f1 x reader #f1 x you #social media au #max verstappen #instagram au #instagram imagine #mv1 #max verstappen imagine #max verstappen x reader #max verstappen x you #max verstappen fic #max verstappen fluff #max verstappen fanfic #max verstappen blurb #f1 blurb #f1 fluff #f1 instagram au #instagram edit #fake instagram #f1 fandom #formula 1 #insta edit #f1blr #f1edit

[writingquestionsanswered]

Interested in Writing But Can't Seem to Write

Anonymous asked: I've been interested in writing since I was a child. Used to be a bookworm. Whole chapter books in one night, completely addicted as a form of escapism. My first real dream job was to be an author - I decided this at around 11 maybe. No matter how many phases I've had, I always return to wanting to be an author. I am 22 now. I have not written a single thing. I vaguely remember writing like, maybe 3 things at most. Incomplete works that I just had fun with. And this was before I even turned 14. But in all those years of "loving writing and books" and "wanting to be an author" I did straight up nothing. Didn't even contribute to fanfics for the fandoms I was deeply obsessed with (I do remember trying once but wasn't into it). At some point reading was out of my life too.

I'm going to start here, because of these conflicting statements:

-- "I have not written a single thing." -- "I vaguely remember writing like, maybe 3 things at most."

See the issue? ;) If you've written "maybe 3 things" you have written something. They may have been incomplete, and you may not even remember what you were, but that doesn't mean you should discount them. You have written. That experience is still in there somewhere.

One of my biggest pet peeves as a longtime writer is hearing newer writers refer to themselves as "aspiring writers." If you write, you're a writer. Period. It doesn't matter if you journal, write poetry, write fan-fiction, or wrote a middle-school round robin with friends where you all married your favorite K-Pop stars. You write. You're a writer. And, honestly, even if you're not actively writing right now, if you want to write--if you think about writing, are constantly jotting down story ideas and character names, and are eagerly gathering inspiration from all around you... guess what? You're still a writer.

Now I'm trying to take my interest in writing more seriously, but I just can't sit down and write. I'm good at storing notes and ideas and daydreaming what my stories are about, but nothing is ever produced. If I think about it I immediately lose interest - even if I am in fact still interested in writing and publishing? I'm very confused by my behaviour and I wonder if it's normal.

What you're experiencing isn't unusual. In fact, most writers experience it from time to time, though usually it happens at points further into the writing journey and not right at the start. But I still wouldn't call that "abnormal." It happens.

There are a hundred-million reasons why it happens, and the only way to figure out why it's happening for you right now is to do some soul-searching. At your age, I think a prime suspect would be that you're in the jumping off point for your adult life. This can be a tumultuous time for a variety of reasons, and your focus and energy may be naturally geared toward the things that help you explore and settle into this new phase of life. Even beyond that, if you have have a demanding job (including being a parent or caregiver), are going to school or studying for job-related tests/classes, or have a lot going on right now (multiple projects, lots of travel, lots of appointments and social commitments, etc.)--your focus and energy is probably running thin as it is, so finding a way to funnel what's left into writing is going to take some finesse. And that's if this is even the right time for it, which I'll get to later on.

Writing Stress = Writing Avoidance

One of the most mind-blowing things I've learned about writing is that writing avoidance often comes down to writing feeling stressful for whatever reason. If you're putting a lot of pressure on yourself to write, write a certain amount, meet goals or deadlines, that translates to stress. It makes writing stressful, and the problem with that is evolution has wired our brains to avoid things that are stressful. At its most basic level, stress is a response to danger--you hear a lion roar in the distance, it causes you stress, you turn and run in the opposite direction. Stress triggers the "fight or flight response," a defense mechanism that protects us from the impending danger. With writing, "fight" shows up as self-criticism. "Flight" shows up as avoidance.

So, if you find that you want to write but are avoiding it, it's worth considering if you're avoiding it because it feels stressful to you. If so, there are things you can do to de-stress writing. For one thing, let go of the notion that you have to write any particular thing or amount in order to be a writer. Set yourself a bare minimum writing goal to reach every day... like writing for 10 minutes. That can be any writing--journaling, writing prompts, working on a story, fleshing out story ideas, fluffy fan-fiction, poetry, writing down a favorite memory, doing a book or movie review, anything. Try to do it every day, but don't beat yourself up if you sit down and aren't able to write anything, don't write a lot, or never sit down at all. Just try, every day, do your best. Also, try setting up a writing routine that you do every day when you sit down for that little writing session. Try to pick the same or similar time each day, do a little meditation or stretch beforehand, put on some soft music or light a candle, get your favorite drink or small snack. If you do this almost every day, what you'll start to find is that the writing happens more and more easily. Eventually you'll be spend more and more time doing it.

Why can I say I'm interested in writing when I don't write at all?

I'm interested in traveling to England but I haven't yet and have no current plans to. Does that mean I'm not allowed to say I'm interested in traveling to England?

Being interested in something doesn't mean you have to do that thing right now or you can't say you're interested in it.

And even if you can't write right now for whatever reason, there are still plenty of writerly things you CAN do. Following writing blogs and vlogs is a good start. You can listen to writing podcasts and read writing craft books. You can keep a notebook full of plot and character ideas, setting inspiration, favorite quotes, interesting words, and overheard bits of dialogue. You can watch TV shows and movies (and read books, which includes listening to audiiobooks!) You don't even have to do these things all the time or everyday. Just periodically, when you can. It all goes into your creative well and will be there to draw from when you are able to write.

One final word...

You do not have to be in a hurry to be a writer or to be a published writer. The average age of first-time publication is mid-30s. I was mid-40s. Jane Austen was 35. Toni Morrison was 40. J.R.R. Tolkien was 45. Richard Adams was 52. Annie Proulx was 57. Laura Ingalls Wilder was 65. National Book Award winner Harriet Doerr was 74. Poet Sarah Yerkes started writing poetry at 97 and was published at 101.

So, be interested in writing. Own that interest. Figure out if and how writing fits into your life right now. If it doesn't, do the other things. Fill your creative well so it will be ready when writing does fit into your life. ♥

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

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#writing tips #writing help #writing advice #wqaadvice

[respectthepetty]

Did you try your best, Kawi?

So . . . next week's previews weren't narrated by Kawi.

This is the first time Kawi hasn't told us to tune in next week to observe how he changes his future. This is the first time he hasn't pondered what will happen to him in the future.

Possibly because Kawi finally understands the time-travel assignment:

Remember when My School President told us that even when we try our best, we can still fail?

And remember when My School President pulled a Miley Cyrus and told us it wasn't about the destination but the climb?

Oh, and remember when My School President told us that we are stronger together?

Or do you remember when My School President told us we can't give up even when the goal seems impossible?

Well, in case you forgot the numerous lessons that My School President taught us in order to complete this assignment, Be My Favorite is here to reinforce them with some extra bonus lessons:

Lesson #1 - Be present.

Kawi is finally getting it. He needs to be patient. He needs to sit tight. He needs to put in the effort in the present, regardless of where that present exists, without trying to throw himself years into the future or constantly being stuck in the past.

He needs to live the life he has NOW, and not the one he wanted. He must be present, which is probably why he didn't narrate next week's episode previews.

Lesson #2 - We can't run away from our problems.

Pisaeng's mom is right. Life would be better for a gay man in a country with marriage equality, same-sex parenting recognition, LGBTQIA rights, and anti-discrimination policies. But that's not why she wants him to leave the country. Pisaeng's mom has 99 problems, and currently Pisaeng being gay is all of them. But what she doesn't realize is our issues won't go away if we hide (from) them. They will get bigger, and instead of just hurting ourselves, they will begin to hurt others.

Pisaeng tried to bury his feelings, and ended up assaulting Kawi while he was drunk on his wedding day after leaving Pear at the altar. Kawi is an alcoholic in the future who broke Pear and Pisaeng's hearts. Pear is unsatisfied with her life even though she keeps pushing to be the best and hurts her best friend by settling for a man unworthy of both of them. Problems are like bacteria; they can be good or bad for us, but either way, left alone, they'll quickly multiple until we can't ignore them.

Lesson #3 - Be honest with yourself.

The second lesson leads into the third because in order to stop running from our problems, we have to be willing to recognize we have a problem. Kawi didn't want to admit he had problems even before the drinking began. When Kawi asked Pisaeng if he should go to rehab, Pisaeng told him that only he knew the answer. Pisaeng learned this from Max who told Pisaeng that the answer to his queerness was within himself. Kawi doesn't want to answer any of these questions because that would mean he has to be honest about his issues. He doesn't owe any of those reporters the truth, but partly why Kawi hesitates is because he, himself, doesn't know what the truth is. Well, not until he is forced to.

Lesson #4 - Learn from your mistakes.

When the show started, Kawi believed his whole life was one big mistake after another. He went back to the past to correct those mistakes, yet his biggest mistake has always been pushing people away.

He stopped talking to Max. He didn't pursue Pear. He rejected Pisaeng. Max has called him out on this behavior, and Max told Kawi he was an alcoholic as well. Pisaeng didn't want to believe Max until Pisaeng subtly confirmed these issues. Then, Pisaeng left Kawi. Alone. Kawi doesn't have his dad there to guide him, but as much as Kawi pushed his dad to TRY to do better for himself, Kawi hasn't given himself that same treatment. Which is why being alone forces him to learn from his mistakes, and we see him stop drinking, even in the future. We see him accepting Pear's dinner invitation, going to Max's rally, and telling Pisaeng he likes him. We see him trying to be better.

Lesson #5 - Have confidence in yourself.

Pisaeng is Linda Evangelista. Kawi has confirmed this every chance he can. But Kawi sucks. Kawi thinks he sucks because he needs help, all the time, while Pisaeng never needs any help. Yet, episode eight explicitly told Kawi that he was The Brave Little Toaster of his friends. Max mentioned that Kawi positively impacted Max by telling Max to stay. Pear's perfect demeanor seems to be morphing as she realizes the dream life she had envisioned as the perfect girl isn't all it's cracked up to be. And Pisaeng told Kawi before that Kawi has changed his life because although Kawi needs his friends, his friends need him just as much.

The Assignment - Try Your Best

Doing everything right doesn't mean you'll win. Giving your all doesn't guarantee the prize. Trying your best doesn't equal success. Sometimes you lose no matter how much effort you put in.

But the lesson here is even if you fail, you won't have regrets.

To generalize my idol Ron Swanson from Parks & Recreation, you can't half-ass the shit you care about. You gotta put your whole-ass in it. You have to be present. You can't run away from your issues. You need to be honest with yourself. You must learn from your mistakes. And you gotta have confidence in yourself. Because only then will you know you tried your best.

And even if you get to the end of the road empty-handed,

You'll have the friends you made along the way there to help you find your way back to the start.

No more half-assing, Kawi!

We deserve your best whole-ass effort.

#be my favorite #be my favorite the series #episode 8 #long post #my school president #pisaeng x kawi

[huggybug]

Hi, could you write something with sunshine x grumpy couple but the other way round than normal? Like sunshine trev x grumpy reader, I feel like it’s never that why and trev is sunshine!

something about the sunshine - trevor zegras

word count: 3.0k words

note: uh hi this ask was literally from so long ago so i’m sorry about that! i tried my best at this trope but it kinda just went off on its own little path so i hope it still does the request justice <33

“Y/n! How’s my favourite lady doing today?” You fight the urge to roll your eyes when Trevor walks into the room and plops down on your table.

You loved your job, really, being an athletic trainer for a major sports team was probably your biggest career goal and somehow you landed it as your first job. However, with it, you were under mountains of stress and out of everyone, Trevor always knew how to make it worse.

“Busy” You mumble, finishing the last few forms you had to fill out on your laptop before shutting it. “Do you need something?”

“Uh yeah, can you tape my ankle?” Your eyes dart up to look at him.

“You need your ankle taped?” You ask curiously.

“Yeah that’s why I’m here, jeez Y/n you should really try to keep up” He teased and you shook your head.

“Why do you need it taped? Practice is over” You were just about ready to leave actually, it had been a long day and the bottle of rosé in your fridge at home was calling your name.

“Yeah but… it hurts?” Trevor’s words came out in a questioning tone, like he was unsure why he was even asking.

“Okay…?” You got up, reaching for the roll of tape on your desk and making your way over to him. You were halfway through taping his ankle when he spoke up again.

“JD and I are going out tonight, you should come hang”

“I’m good” You mumbled, not letting your focus away from the task at hand.

“We’re super fun! I promise you’ll have a great time” You looked up to see him grinning widely at you.

“Trevor… we’re not friends” He froze for a minute before recalculating and his easy going façade was back.

“But we could be?” It came out more as a question than he initially intended.

“I’m just here to work, I have enough friends” You mumble, “Thanks though” Trevor’s smile faltered but he didn’t let it show for more than a split second.

It wasn’t that you didn’t like Trevor, in fact all the guys were great. You just didn’t love mixing your work like and personal life.

“You’re all done” You say as you lay the last piece of tape down. “If your ankle hurts maybe you shouldn’t be going out tonight” You raise your eyebrow at him which only makes him smirk.

“Thanks Y/n, see you tomorrow”

…

The season was well underway and you were busier than ever. You were down a few trainers and the Ducks staff had all been working around the clock to try and make up for it.

“The world isn’t going to stop turning if you take a break” You sigh, looking up from your computer to see Trevor and Jamie sauntering into your room.

“Thanks Trevor” You smile sarcastically. Over the past few months, you’d found yourself with both Trevor and Jamie more and more often. While you didn’t let it cross your self drawn boundaries by seeing them away from work, they seemed to find their way to your room frequently, whether it was because they actually needed something or just to come bother you.

“Aw cheer up sunshine”

“Don’t call me that” You bite back, annoyed with his presence already.

“Sunflower? Gumdrop? Sweetheart?” Trevor’s rattling off words like there’s no tomorrow, you glare at him until he stops.

“Are you having a stroke?” Jamie laughs at that but Trevor elbows him in retaliation.

“I’m trying to find a name that works for you babe, got any suggestions?”

“What do you guys need? I’m almost done for the day” You checked the time to see that you’d already stayed an hour past what you wanted to which meant you were way too late to girls night, meaning you’d once again have to ditch your plans because of work.

“Come out with us tonight. We’re meeting up with our friends from LA, you’ll love them” Trevor explained, nudging Jamie with his elbow which made him chime in as well.

“Yeah, Trev tells Alex about you all the time, he’s dying to meet you” Jamie coughs awkwardly when Trevor’s bony elbow hits him in the ribs.

“We’ve been over this before…” You answer, not even looking up from your work.

“Yeah but one of these days you’ll come to your senses and realize how amazing of a time you’ll have with us” Trevor grinned and you faltered. Maybe it was because your night out with your girls was ruined or maybe after months of Trevor asking, he’d simply worn you down.

“Fine” You finally caved and you swear Trevor does a little happy dance.

“I’ll send you the details, see you there!” Trevor is grinning ear to ear as he leaves the room, pulling Jamie behind him.

…

The bar Trevor chooses is exactly the kind of bar you’d expect him to pick. It’s packed, clearly a well-known spot in California, and you’re pretty sure there’s some sort of filtering system at the entrance which only allows people with over 1 million followers in. Luckily, you didn’t have to worry about that since you came with Trevor who somehow got himself on the list and your group is swiftly ushered to the VIP area.

“You look fantastic” Trevor grins at you once you’re all sat down at the table. He had already introduced you to his friend Alex and Jamie’s friend Quinton but he apparently hadn’t taken a moment to really look at you until now.

“Watch it Trevor, we’re still work friends of some sort” You point a finger at him and he laughs it off, knowing you’re only joking. To be fair, it was half a joke, half serious.

“I’m going for drinks, Jamie help me” Trevor practically drags his best friend away from the table with him and you shift awkwardly in your seat. Leave it to Trevor to ditch you with (albeit seemingly nice) strangers.

“So… you work for the Ducks?” Quinton asks and you smile awkwardly while nodding.

“Trainer” You mumble and both boys nod, pretending to be interested you’re sure. You fall back into silence for a few moments before the two boys start talking about something else between the two of them and you sink back into your chair.

You should’ve just stayed home tonight. Even though your original plans were wrecked, you shouldn’t have agreed to coming out with Trevor and Jamie. You were very obviously crashing their plans; you certainly didn’t fit in with a group of four hockey players.

You could only spiral so far before the boys returned, Trevor handing you a martini, your drink of choice. It took you a moment of staring at the glass before you looked at him, wondering how the hell he knew your typical order.

Trevor was too busy making fun of whatever it was Jamie said to the bartender so you didn’t say anything, just took a sip of your drink. Immediately, you started coughing which attracted the attention of the guys quickly.

“Woah, slow it down there Y/n” Trevor laughed and you shot him a look, hopefully playful enough to be passed off as a joke.

“You okay?” Jamie asked, offering up his bottle of water which you waved off.

“Fine. I just wasn’t expecting the gin” You drank vodka martinis. To be more precise, vodka martinis with a twist.

“Shit sorry” Trevor apologized, reaching to take your drink but you pulled it back. “I’ll go get you a new one” He offered and while it was very nice of him, you refused.

“I’m fine” You were firm enough that he didn’t bother to ask again, simply turning back to the conversation that had already resumed.

You stuck around for a respectable amount of time before you started planning your escape. It wasn’t that you didn’t like Alex and Quinton, they were actually nice guys and fun to be around. Just as the night went on, the more you felt like you were imposing. You waited until Trevor left, taking Alex over to say hi to someone they knew who was just across the roped off area; fishing in your purse to get cash to cover your drinks, you slide over to Jamie, placing a hand on his shoulder to get his attention.

“Thanks for inviting me, tell Trevor thanks too” You hand him the money, flashing a quick smile and Jamie smiles back, quickly waving your money away.

“We were both happy you finally said yes, you’re cool Y/n” Jamie was sweet, honestly a little too sweet for an NHL player in your opinion.

“See you tomorrow Drysdale” You say goodbye to Quinton before grabbing your purse and rushing towards the door, hoping you can get out without Trevor seeing you because you know exactly how that conversation would go.

You were almost to the exit when someone grabbed your arm. Your instincts kicked in and you pulled away quickly, freeing your arm roughly from the person’s grip. Preparing for the worst, you turn around, only to see Trevor.

“God Trevor, I thought you were some creepy dude” You roll your eyes, turning back around and heading for the door, knowing he’s following close behind.

“Nope, just me” He leans forward and you can practically hear the smirk in his voice.

“Close enough” You retort and he pokes your arm playfully.

“Why are you leaving?” Trevor finally asks when your both standing on the sidewalk outside of the bar.

“I work in the morning” You answer, typing away on your phone, trying to get an Uber.

“So do I” You look up to see him grinning at you which makes you roll your eyes.

“Go have fun with your boys, I have to go” Trevor pouted and maybe if you were tapped out on your Trevor time, you would’ve seen it as endearing.

“Fine, I’ll see you tomorrow”

“Bye Trevor”

…

A few more months passed and you stuck to your rules, no more nights out with Trevor or Jamie and you were back to strictly work ‘friends’ only.

However, tonight was Dux in Tux, the organization’s annual charity event and while it wasn’t technically a night out with them, it was close enough.

“How great do I look in this? Scale of 1-10” You shake your head at Trevor who had been flaunting his ugly shirt-tuxedo all night for you.

“Go do your job” The players were all supposed to be serving the tables and while most of them had been following orders well, Trevor had spent a lot of his time at your table. The other trainers found it funny, they weren’t telling Trevor off but you had no problem in doing that.

“Is he bothering you?” You look up to see Max Jones behind Trevor, throwing an arm over the younger boy’s shoulder.

“Always” You answer with a smirk and Trevor sputters.

“Z, go help Jamie clear plates” Max points over to where Jamie is trying to pick up the slack where Trevor had been lacking all night.

“But this is my table!” Trevor pointed out and the table full of staff chuckled at the two grown men arguing about this.

“Go”

“Oh come on!” Trevor whined but trudged away anyways.

The rest of the night went smoothly, Trevor was kept busy, thanks to Max and you had easily avoided all the questions that had arisen from Trevor’s adamant presence at your table; the open bar had been a fantastic aid in that.

“Hey Sunshine, need another drink?” Trevor asks when you approach the bar later on in the night. The guys had just finished their little show so there was a group of them hanging around the bar.

“Sunshine?” Troy asks and a few of the other guys chime in as well.

“Don’t call me that” You grit out. Trevor knew your boundaries but he liked to push them. He loved to bend your rules to see how far you’d let him go, how long you could stand him annoying you before you put an end to it.

“Oh c’mon babe don’t be like that” Trevor grinned, throwing an arm around you and pulling you into his side. You groaned, trying to push him away but he wouldn’t budge.

“Woah woah woah. What are we missing here?” McTavish asks and you shake your head, slipping out of Trevor’s hold.

“Nothing, Trevor’s just a dick who likes to piss me off. Now if you’ll excuse me” You retrieve your fresh drink from the bar and hightail it over to your little group of staff, glad to hopefully be in a safe zone away from Trevor.

It doesn’t work, in less than 15 minutes, Trevor’s excusing you from your own conversation and pulling you away from the event and into the hallway to the locker rooms.

“What is your deal tonight?” You ask, exasperated from all the antics he’s been pulling tonight.

“Does it really piss you off when I do that stuff?” He asks frantically.

“What?” You’re confused, crossing your arms over your chest, suddenly feeling very trapped in this hallway.

“Why I call you sunshine and when I hang around you, do you really not like it?” Trevor asks, his gaze is heavy and you feel hot underneath it.

“What do you think Trevor?” You raise an eyebrow, honestly curious as to what he thinks you feel about him.

“Answer me”

“I…” You trail off, unsure how to explain what exactly it is that you feel. You’re not even sure yourself how you feel about Trevor. It started off as pure annoyance. You didn’t like when he hung around your room at the rink, how he’d play with the rolls of tape you had on your desk (and how he usually stole them for himself). But somewhere over the course of the season, it changed into tolerance which the. shifted into fondness. And now, you honestly missed him on the days that he wasn’t around for practice or a game for whatever reason.

“Because if it really bothers you I’ll stop. I thought we were friends and had that kind of relationship but I might’ve read it wrong and I’m sorry if I did, that’s on me” Trevor was rambling and you let him. It was cute. When he finished, you finally had collected your thoughts enough to speak.

“I don’t hate it” You pause as Trevor grins so wide you’re afraid it’ll crack his cheeks. “But the sunshine thing has to got stop around people at work”

“Is that you saying you want to hang out with me?” Trevor was smiling so hard it made you want to laugh. “And is this a friends hang out or a…” He winks over dramatically, “hang out”

“You’re so gross” You laugh while shaking your head.

“You love it”

“Ehh” You scrunch up your face and Trevor rolls his eyes.

…

After a couple months and many dates (most in Anaheim and then some when Trevor flew you out to visit him in New York after he went home for the summer) you found yourself with a boyfriend. It was probably breaking your ultimate rule but you didn’t care. That was the thing about Trevor; when you were with him, nothing else mattered.

It was a weird adjustment at first but luckily, you had officially started dating during the off-season so you weren’t exactly forced to come to terms with how this affected your work life just yet. Trevor always pushed it away, promising you that nothing would happen or change, that he would take care of it and that you trusted because how could they afford to make their star player upset?

After spending the summer travelling to and from Anaheim, you were both officially back for the season and you couldn’t help but think about how things had changed just over the course of a few months.

“That night we went out, how did you know I liked martinis? Or was that just a random guess?” Trevor looked down at you from where he was sitting on the couch while you laid with you head in his lap.

“Uh… I don’t remember” He cleared his throat then looked back at the TV which was playing the highlights of whatever baseball game was on today.

“You’re lying” You said flatly.

“No I’m not” You narrowed your eyes at him as he played with the short hair above his ear, twirling it as best he could around his finger.

“Yes you are, you’re doing the weird thing with your hair” Trevor’s hand freezes in it’s spot.

“Okay, I’ll explain but you have to promise you won’t think I’m creepy” He sighs, nudging you off his lap so you have to sit up next to him.

“What? Trevor-” You turn to face him, draping your legs over his and his hand automatically falls in place over them.

“Promise!” He insists.

“Fine, I promise” You roll your eyes.

“At every team event, I’d kinda… watch you. That sounds so creepy. I wasn’t like stalking you, I’d just happen to look for you every once in a while and every time I saw you, you were drinking a martini with a twist. Obviously I didn’t know you only drank vodka martinis” He grumbled and you laugh.

“That was the worst martini I’d ever had” You gagged, thinking back to that night when you stubbornly finished the whole martini because you wouldn’t let him get you a new one.

“Well I didn’t know! Vodka and gin are both clear!” Trevor whined, his head falling back against the couch cushions.

“At least you’ve learned, hm?” You reach to play with his hair, combing through it with your fingers as a smile makes its way onto his face.

“Yeah, thank god for that” He answers sarcastically which makes you smile.

#trevor zegras x reader #trevor zegras imagine #trevor zegras fic #anaheim ducks #hockey writing #hockey fic #nhl players #nhl fanfiction

[wishful-seeker]

The complete guide to black mirror scrying: how to interpret visions, how to make a mirror, and beginner advice.

The biggest issue I had when I first started scrying is that there are no set correspondences for the visions you see. Unlike other divination methods: like tarot with card meanings, or pendulums with yes/no/maybe, this method of divination is deeply personal and tailored to the person scrying. Scrying is similar to charm divination where to assign meanings to your charms, the difference is you have no idea what you will see and must come up with your own interpretation each time. I have some tips for accurately deciphering these visions.

Main things you need to know:

1. The feeling you feel when you see the images is IMPORTANT in deciphering what they mean, and your personal interpretation trumps everything else.

For example If you see an eye, and you have a good feeling about it, take note of that.

Next, try searching the symbols common meaning on Google. If the common meaning doesn't feel correct, dig deeper, ask what it meant to you.

The symbolism of an eye according to the internet says "Dreaming of eyes can be considered a very��symbolic image connecting us to our soul. Similar to many ancient cultures the eye is understood to be a symbol of good, evil, protection, vision, knowledge, wisdom and mystery."

2. If you can't find the meaning of a symbol try searching it as a dream interpretation. Ex: "what does dreaming of an eye mean." Dream interpretation websites have extremely specific symbols and meanings.

3. Symbols around the world have different meanings depending on location and culture, one symbol may have 2 completely different meanings.

For example, the eye can symbolize both good and evil, this is when personal feelings and associations are important. Did seeing the eye feel good, or bad?

4. You will occasionally see things that cannot be simplified to one symbol, for example, seeing a scene unfold, like a stereotypical idea of a vision. When this happens, break it down into multiple symbols, and combine the meanings.

For example, I saw myself in a forest, looking up at the night sky and stars through the trees.

My personal interpretation of a starry night sky, and a common dream interpretation of it is: A clear starry night sky symbolizes dreams and hopes coming true, happiness and good fortune, relaxation , and achieving goals.

The meaning of trees is: trees have been used to represent life, growth, wisdom, prosperity and more in legends, poetry, literature, and religion.

However, i have my own meanings associated with trees, so trees are also a symbol of peace, strength, stability, and resilience, according to me.

Now you ask yourself how to connect and relate these meanings together. This scene is telling you these symbols go hand and hand in your life.

Personally, I would interpret that as saying through nurturing myself, and growing, and persevering throughout my life, has and will lead me to my goals and peace. I'm on the right track.

I find scrying is the best divination for me because I've also noticed in my experience, even when I see something "negative" my brain shows me in a gentle way through the visions.

For example, once I saw a willow the wisp, I LOVE willow the wisps, I think they're beautiful, but they represent a warning that danger is near. But somehow my subconscious knows how to show me comforting images, despite the negative connotations. I really struggled with tarot cards because the "negative" cards would easily trigger me. It always felt like tarot cards were yelling at me instead of gently guiding me, and I find scrying to be gentle, at least for me.

It makes a big difference to already associate a scrying mirror with good peaceful vibes, just like how if I had a comforting feeling with cards, they'd probably trigger me less.

Everyone will have some divination methods that work really well, and some not so much. I hope this guide can help you learn if scrying is the divination method for you or not.

Some people can be pretty scared of scrying mirrors specifically, because new agers put a lot of fear mongering rules on to those mirrors. Some will say allowing others to look in the mirror is bad luck, or that you should always cover and cleanse it when you're done. I don't follow any of those rules except for veiling it when I'm done, and only because I have a pretty cloth. I've used it for over a year and I have NEVER had a bad or scary experience. I've showed it to friends, I leave it uncovered sometimes, I never cleanse it. I meditate before using it, and I do a very short sheilding visualization, and it's an extremely calming experience. I do it to calm my anxiety after a bad day.

So if it's as peaceful as I say, why is there so much fear behind scrying mirrors?

Well it's actually the same reason why people are terrified of ouija boards: kids act like it's a toy, they do things wrong, and their own fear invites a negative experience.

Here are some tips to avoid a scary session, and general first timer info.

1. DO NOT look at yourself in the mirror! This is only for experienced people. If you do this your face will morph and melt and it'll be scary to someone who has no experience! The mirror should be angled in a way that NOTHING is reflected in it, you want it to be a completely black void in the dark, with a candle far away so it's just light enough to see what you are doing. Angle the mirror towards your blank ceiling. This will allow the mirror to act like a TV screen where you just watch pretty shapes and pictures go by.

2. You have NOTHING to be afraid of, and if this scares you, don't do it! The more calm and at peace you are, the better the experience will be.

3. If you want to scry, but you're afraid of the mirror, you can scry on any blank surface. A black or white one is best. You can use a dark computer screen, you can even scry with your eyes closed! The darkness you see when you close your eyes is perfect for seeing visions, I have a friend who does this.

4. It'll take at least 15 minutes of staring WITH A VERY SOFT FOCUS to start seeing visions, if you want to try making this go faster, try meditation with your eyes closed before hand. When you start seeing things, time will move by fast, what feels like 10 minutes could be 40. Be careful not to lose track of time.

6. Remember that Scrying is best done in the dark with a candle just bright enough to illuminate the mirror, but not bright enough to make the mirror cast reflections. You want a black void unless you're doing the looking at your face method.

7. You may need to listen to trance music, meditate, or do some type of small ritual activity to get you in the zone so you can see things, everyones way of doing this is very different.

Lastly, I know some of you might be wondering, where do I get a scrying mirror?

Well you can easily make one yourself with a picture frame, black acrylic paint, or black spray paint!

First, get a pretty picture frame

Then take out the glass and backing

Paint one side of the glass with black paint, do multiple coats until when looking from the unpainted side, you can't see through it.

If you can still see through it after multiple coats, paint the inside of the frames backing black too, so that when it is up against the painted side, all you see is black.

Put the glass back into the frame UNPAINTED SIDE IN THE FRONT. This is the reflective side.

That's it!

This is one I made:

However, you can probably tell it's not a picture frame, it's a mirror frame. If you want to use a mirror frame you can, but you NEED A CLEAR GLASS PANE that fits it. You cannot paint on the mirror glass and make it reflective.

P.s. I keep a hagstone for protection and connecting to the spirit world, and celestite for spirit guide communication when I scry.

Good luck guys, I hope this helps.

#black mirror scrying #scrying #divination #witchcraft #witchblr

[burninlovebutler]

GAH i didn't wanna do this bc im a gemini & i talk a lot if im unsupervised lol BUT YALL WERE POSTIN SOME SAPPY SHIT SO I WANTED TO JOIN (so sorry this is gonna be so long i apologize in advance)

this wasn't initially the road i was gonna take while talking about this but ofc if u read any of my writing or know me in any capacity, it shouldn't surprise you that we're getting sad lol

as i stood next to my partner watching the midnight fireworks last night, i had a fleeting thought -

16 year old me didn't think i'd still be here at 26 -

i didn't expect to still be on this earth in 2023

when i was around that age my home life was really shitty and abusive and lonely and my only saving grace at the time was the family i found within the one direction/5sos fandom. there were so many times then that my fandom friends saved me, literally.

i wouldn't be here today without them.

i stopped being in fandoms around 2016 and while i still have MANY long term close friends from that time, we all have gone our separate ways interest wise.

I didn't realize just how much i missed being a part of a community until i joined tumblr again. the austin/elvis fandom welcomed me with open arms & filled me with that same youthful joy and connection as i had when i was 16. and even BETTER bc this fandom has blown me away with how kind and gentle and loving it is

point is - i’m grateful that i AM still here, that i’ve been here long enough to meet you and experience this amazing fandom.

it's insane to me to think i would've never met some of the brightest stars of my days without walking into that theater that day. my year would've been so empty, lonely and sad without you all, so thank you all from the bottom of my cold lil heart - you all showed up in my life when i needed u the most

(something weird about this 1D -> Elvis/Aus pipeline is that when i went back to see the day i saw the movie the first time it was on July 23, aka the 1D anniversary 👀 lil weird)

i initially made this blog solely for my fanfic but i'm glad i branched out - though i still wanted to take the time to anyone who's interacted w my writings, even if it was just help with plot or moodboards. my heart skips a beat when my writing is a point of conversation.

thank you to the beauties who grace my dash everyday, even if we don't talk often 💖

@feverkitten @p-oolshark @pearlparty @avengen @presleys @mrsniallhoran505 @missmaywemeetagain @marooosa @eliseinmemphis @elvisabutler @lovininapinkcadillac @aconflagrationofmyown @austinsmutler @heartbrake-hotel @dre6ming @flwrs4aust @rosaminny @presleysdarling @woundmetender @rainydayz101 @ggwritesstuff @golden-kiwis @lattedreamer @weak-aesthetic @bcofl0ve

and of course to my almost daily babes, my days would be so empty without you all and my heart would be so deflated - i never thought i'd end up with a group like this

@succsessions @lllsaslll @cryingabtab @elvisfatass @loving-elvis @nora-nexus-34 @lavenderelvis @luluthesandgoose @powerofelvis @bisexualwvtson @samfangirls @lindszeppelin @infatuatedharleys @ab4eva @sagesolsticewrites @slowsweetlove @areacodefan @jelliedonut @steph-speaks @star-shard @foreverdolly @purejasmine @oh-my-front-door

and how could i ever forget the two that really roped me in @karamelcoveredolicity @troubleinapinksuit - even though it was through war, violence & lawsuits (lol) that our love was carved from, it is the most magical. i am so honored and so grateful to call you friends

one of my biggest goals for 2022 was to make new friends - ones who are reliable, kind, like-minded, supportive, generous, loving - because i was feeling so lonely & unloved, and to my surprise this goal was met ABUNDANTLY by you all, i really can not stress how much you all mean to me

extra special shout out to @bisexualwvtson for setting up the christmas card exchange, it was probably my favorite part of this holiday season - those cards made my whole christmas and i will cherish them forever

i love you all so much its DISGUSTING how much i love you - i don’t know how i would’ve made it through this year without you all - and it makes me so fucking sad when i think about all the memories that wouldn’t have happened without austin/elvis/you guys - it is because of you all that i have some of the best and happiest memories of this year, thank you ❤️

i hope that we are together for a long long time - i know that i am, i’m here for the long haul 💗 pls be in the nursing home with me breaking hips to Elvis songs

love, mel xx

(I APOLOGIZE IF IVE MISSED ANYONE I TRIED MY BEST TO REMEMBER EVERYTHING MY BRAIN IS TRASH SO IM SO SORRY PLS DONT BE OFFENDED IF I MISSED U I LOVE U)

#i love this fandom #i told y’all it was gonna be novel #IM A GEMINI WHAT DO U WANT FROM ME #happy new year #mushy mel #also so fucking sorry this is so late lol #pls this is just my brand #sorry this is so long lol #this is all over the place jesus #i’m so sorry y’all lol

[greenapricot]

2023 fic year in review

Doing my 2023 fic year in review in February bc that's how things are going in 2024 so far.

Total number of fic: 5 (1 still in progress)

Total word count: 24,217

Fandoms written in: Lewis (3), Endeavour (1), Our Flag Means Death (1)

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d expected? Less. Though I didn't really have any specific expectations about quantity, just that I wanted to write things I enjoyed writing regardless of the reception, as opposed to past years when I was fixated on the idea of writing a certain amount of fic per month. 2023 felt much more relaxed writing-wise and I'm also about halfway through a super self-indulgent fic that is probably going to end up being around 20k and I'm very pleased with that.

What’s your own favorite story of the year? The Names of All the Winds (Lewis, James/Robbie, magical realism au, alternate meeting). The aforementioned fic that's half done. I am having so much fun reliving my own holiday on Lake Garda by sending slightly alternate universe Robbie and James there and also writing magical realism which I hadn't done in a while.

Did you take any writing risks this year? I wouldn't call it a risk exactly, but Patterns Unfamiliar (Lewis, James/Robbie, hurt/comfort) was a fun challenge. My writing is usually very visual and it was interesting to have to describe what was happening in the story when the POV character was in complete darkness.

Do you have any fanfic or profic goals for the new year? Finish TNoAtW, which I'm actively working on and hope to manage by the end of March.

And I've said this the last two years running, but I really do want to finish the sequel to Lead me wild to your dark roads my Lewis/Shetland xover (currently titled The last place we left off). I did do a fair amount of work on it before I entered the fic challenge that spawned TNoAtW, and wrote a good portion of the Shetland fic interlude that I've realized needs to go between the two stories. So both of those are next in line after TNoAtW.

Then there's the Blackbeard's Building & Renovation fic idea that was spawned in discord, in which Ed is a builder and Stede an interior decorator (each with their own crews) and they are both hired to work on the same house at the same time. Some kind of OFMD/Grand Designs-ish fusion. And, as ever, those three Lewis casefics that are mostly plotted and not anywhere close to completion.

Most popular story of the year? One thing at a time (Lewis, James/Robbie). It was spring, I had allergies, so I wrote a fic in which James had allergies. It seems to resonate with folks :D

Story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion: Nothing like poetry (Endeavour, post-s6 Ronnie Box angst). It has the least number of comments and kudos, but I don't actually think it's under-appreciated. Ronnie Box ruminating on the terrible mess his life is post-s6 is just very niche.

Most fun story to write: TNoAtW for all the reasons I mentioned above and adding my own photos to it. And it remains fun.

Most unintentionally telling story: I should probably make up another question to go here bc I never have a good answer for this, but The Most Remarkable Thing (OFMD, Ed/Stede, domestic fluff) was basically me putting my love of gardening and living a quiet life in the woods into fic form.

Biggest disappointment: I wouldn't say it was a disappointment, but I really did think I was going to finish the Lead me wild sequel in 2023. I think I'll finally finish it in 2024 though (this time for sure).

Biggest surprise: TNoAtW growing into what looks like it will be the third longest fic I've ever written.

Tagging people just for the fun of it (no pressure though): @bryndeavour, @thankyouforbeingsowrong, @vita-s-west, @mcgstarroar, @mr-iskender, @ronniebox

#fic year in review #inspector lewis #lewis #endeavour #itv endeavour #our flag means death #ofmd #writing #my fic

[silverskye13]

I don't remember if you ever explained this or not, but what's up with Tanguish saying he is killing Tango? I am guessing it is something to do with the skulk?

I know I've talked about it before, but it's probably been scattered across a lot of different shortfics [and talked a little bit in chapter 2&4 of the whole Redstone and Skulk fic in a somewhat blink-and-you'll-miss-it way].

I'm going to go ahead and lay the concept out in full, but like, warning: spoilers for all of the helsmit fics and shorts [Wels/Hels, Tango/Tanguish, and Ren/TheRedKing]

So in my little set of universe, helsmits au... Stuff... Basically the universe doesn't like that the hermits make helsmits.

Helsmits are made when hermits start to face a dark side of themselves, an inconvenient truth, or a dichotomy they don't like. For Wels/Hels, it's their idea of knighthood. Wels is the idealized white knight, Hels is the gritty, holding to your tenents even if it means killing people knight. They are a clash of ideals, and by definition both think the other is Being A Knight Wrong. Together they encapsulate the idea of "Sometimes to do good, very evil things are justified in the process."

For Tango/Tanguish, it's toxic codependence. It's being alone because you're sure of yourself/a little introverted vs being alone because you're self-isolating/filled with social anxiety to the point it's hurting your friendships. Together they encapsulate the idea that you can genuinely care a lot about someone and still be toxic, and that care and toxicity can be mutual. Humans weren't made to live in tiny 2 person isolated groups. We can, but there's a lot of angry psychology that tends to happen when we do.

[Ren and Red are a bit fuzzier. I never really hammered them out. Mostly it's Red thinks Ren is a coward for handling 3rd life the way he did, and Ren thinks Red is just a scary jerk. Something something appreciating the life you're given, something something remember your mortality something something friends make our short lives worth it. It was very hazy and existential I was coping with things when I was outlining those]

What happens when the hermits face these issues is, eventually they get past them. And since the hermit was there first, that generally [9 times out of 10] means the hermit grows as a person and moves on, and helsmit stops existing. It's like a physical incarnation of the "growing and changing through the plot" thing that happens during most character arcs. I wrote a short [Voices of Hels? I think it was called? Something like that] where Cub talks about absorbing his hels version and that's why his skin changed from old man to young dude. I used to have a list? Of hermits that didn't have hels versions anymore? I think Zedaph and Doc were on that list. And Gem. I need to find that list again. [In my funny little world I also justify Xisuma having so many helsmits (Evil X and Evil Beezuma for example) because he basically runs from his issues for so long he fundamentally changes as a person, and this he makes a new helsmit wholecloth once the previous issue no longer applies. I also feel like there are probably circumstances where a helsmet can disappear and then reappear later in life when someone faces an old or similar problem again. (Well well well if it isn't the consequences of my actions back again-- [gets tackled by my evil clone]).

For Wels/Hels, Helsknight has pretty solidly accepted his fate is to disappear into Welsknight at some point. His biggest goal until that happens is to, basically, make Welsknight strong enough to actually do good in the world. It's not an altruistic thing. He things Welsknight is weak, is a bad knight, and represents the kind of slothfulness that happens when you live a relatively carefree life. He makes Wels miserable on purpose, because he thinks that's the only way it'll make him stronger. And if Welsknight is strong enough to do good in the world, then hey, Helsknight can disappear into the aether knowing he didn't die for nothing [I feel like you kinda have to have a martyr complex on some level to be a good knight, RIP all the knight characters I've ever written].

For Tango and Tanguish though, Tango isn't trying to be a better person. He's not trying to get over his codependency and social anxiety to reconnect with his friends. He's feeding into is isolation bad habits, and in so doing, is feeding into Tanguish. If he keeps going at the rate he's going, someday Tango will collapse and stop existing, and Tanguish will be the only one left standing. Tanguish doesn't want this [he is just as codependent on Tango as his hermit is on him] and he's also starting to figure out he doesn't like the self-feeding cycle of never having contact outside of each other. He's decided he's going to break their cycle by forcing Tango [and also himself] to branch out.

In Chapter 4 of the Redstone and Sculk series, where Tanguish corners Helsknight to ask him for help, and Helsknight says stuff about "how rare it is that one of us wins", that's what he's talking about. Tanguish could be the last man standing and he's actively choosing not to. Helsknight, who doesn't think it's physically possible for him to win against Wels, thinks it's really, really stupid that Tanguish would just give something like that up.

So! Yeah! Hope? That answers everything? Clears things up? Most of this was supposed to come out either:

A) In the next couple chapters of Redstone and Sculk

B) When I finally got around to writing that Wels/Hels body swap fic I started writing and then stopped writing because MSH is my baby right now and I can't focus on two things at once

#spazzcat barks #hels worldbuilding #answering asks #helsmits #redstone and sculk #through hels and high water #the red king hels #woe! my headcanons be upon ye!

[theawakenedstate]

3 Shocking Lessons on Life Purpose I Wish I Knew From the Start

I wanted to share with you 3 Lessons that have shocked me over the years when it comes to my Soul Purpose so you can benefit from them too!

I feel like this concept of finding our dharma and learning how to figure out our life purpose is probably one of the biggest questions that come up post-awakening besides “when does awakening end?” or “how do you really reach enlightenment?”

But our concept of true Purpose is closer than we think.

If you’re having trouble with the question:

“What is my life purpose?”

“I’m confused on what even that really means…”

” Is life purpose just ego talk?”

or maybe you’re even feeling a bit of simply….

I’m just feeling lost on my path, soul searching and when I discover my soul purpose everything will feel RIGHT – I’m suddenly be abundant, I’ll have everything I want – etc. etc.

Does any of that sound familiar?

It’s common to have these thoughts post-awakening and YET –

STOP PUTTING SO MUCH PRESSURE ON YOURSELF

When you’re constantly looking around not filling fulfilled or torn on what direction to go because you know you’re meant for big things – yet

The ascension symptoms coming up keep making you feel like everything is far away and ‘you’re not there yet’

here’s the shocking truth.

1. YOU WILL NEVER BE “There”

Do you ever catch yourself going “But when i get there I will….” When I …. Then I….

When i finally reach enlightenment…

when i finally get the money…

When i Finally reach ASCENSION…

When I finally Heal I will….

This is an egoic pursuit. Functioning from a ‘means to an end goal chase’ that is NEVER ENDING.

One that makes you constantly thirsty for MORE. MORE MORE. And it’s normal – it’s called growth 

Just like my kids play pretend grocery store with fake credit cards and phones because ‘they’re not there yet’ as an adult. This longing we have to be somewhere we’re not is a normal part of our brain’s way to process GROWTH.

Even when you think you got your soul purpose figured out, there will inevitably be another layer even after enlightenment.

There will always be another LAYER..

Just when i think i got it – There’s another layer, because life is like an onion (just like the shrek anology lol)

Instead the Shocking Lesson:

Accept you will never get “there”, It’s about allowing the unfolding of the path on the journey. It’s always about co-creating in the now and being present on the journey.

2. Your Life Purpose is always rooted in your Authenticity and you have to dig to find out who that person is beyond conditioning.

Want to discover your Life Purpose? It’s rooted in YOU BEING YOU.

Your Authentic Self is within you, but chances are due to conditioning, suppression of our intuition, or true gifts – we have lost touch with this part of ourselves.

I’m sure most of you go ” But i do know my authentic self?!”

Most people actually don’t, it’s buried under layers of past conditioning of your identity where people told you ‘WHO TO BE, WHAT TO DO, WHERE TO BUILD YOUR CAREER”

One of the most eye-opening conversations to have with yourself is to ask yourself,

“Which beliefs are actually MINE?”

Because a lot of what you believe just comes from your parents or caregivers, a lot of what you believe comes from your past thoughts, beliefs, habits, actions and behaviors.

That’s why this month in the membership, we’re kicking it off with:

Soul Purpose work through the chakras, we’re doing an EXCAVATION – Digging into the Truth of who you are.

#2 The Shocking TRUTH AND LESSON:

Your authentic self is within you, but you need to be digging within to find out who that person really is beyond your past conditioning.

That’s WHERE YOUR PURPOSE LIVES AND BREATHES. It’s inside your Soul Blueprint within you.

#3. Your Mindset is Everything and it will reveal your Purpose to You

One of the reasons i switched from just “Energy healer/Teacher” to Mindset Coach is I began to Realize – I’ve been teaching Mindset the whole time…and watering it down with words in the new age community.

Your Mindset is a Vibration you’re emitting.

Every word, thought, action, habit has a vibration behind it.

Have you ever asked yourself, where do my thoughts come from?

I used to never have the answer for this – then I studied how the mind works.

Your thoughts come from your beliefs – and your beliefs create the Paradigm of your Identity.

So If you REALLY want to change your negative thoughts,

You need to start learning how to change the Beliefs that are powering those thoughts, to begin with.

Your mindset holds the vibration.

Your Beliefs dominate the thoughts.

Your Actions are influenced by the Feelings that produce those thoughts.

And your Paradigm is established on a rocky inauthentic vibration that is made NOT EVEN FROM YOU!

Shocking Lesson on Purpose:

Your Inauthentic Vibrations are stopping you from Seeing your Soul Purpose.

What you believe, think and even habits you have are not even YOURS – Your Purpose lives inside the person who is BEYOND CONDITIONING.

How you find it – Lives in understanding your Mindset.

So What do you think? Shocking right? Let me know how this lands for you by dropping a comment!

that’s why we’re kicking off the brand new Monthly membership: The Soul-aligned Life Academy immediately with

SOUL PURPOSE THROUGH THE CHAKRAS!  Going Live this Month!

A Soul Excavation into uncovering the depths of Your Soul’s Authentic True self.

When we tap into this place inside of ourselves, we begin to wake up our Authentic Self and step more into our Spiritual Alignment in our daily lives.

We walk forward with clarity, confidence and conviction of tapping into our Life’s Dharma or Soul Truth inside of us.

Learn in 7 Lessons How to easily begin covering, excavating, and unlocking your Soul’s Dharma or Life Purpose

Learn more about the new Academy at the Link below! theawakenedstate.net/the-soul-aligned-life-academy-membership/

psst enjoy this Blog? Do me a favor and Share it on your fav Socials or Pin it! (I love Pinterest! )

https://www.theawakenedstate.net/3-shocking-lessons-on-life-purpose-i-wish-i-knew-from-the-start/

3 Shocking Lessons on Life Purpose I Wish I Knew From the Start

I wanted to share with you 3 Lessons that have shocked me over the years when it comes to my Soul Purpose so you can benefit from them too! I feel like this concept of finding our dharma and learning how to figure out our life purpose is probably one of the biggest questions that […]

#authenticity #conditioning #energy healing #growth mindset #law of attraction #life purpose #lightworkers #manifestation #mindset #mindset coach #shocking lessons on purpose #soul purpose

[shirotaniart]

My experience with romantic attraction as an allosexual aromantic:

I've seen so many people connect online over being aroace and that is so cool. But I haven’t seen many posts about aromanticism while being allosexual.

So I tought I would like to talk about how I experience my sexuality and identity.

For me the aromanticism doesn’t come along with romance repulsion in general. I enjoy romance in fiction as a plot device or source of conflict because it can help the characters evolve but also be their struggle. Romance is cool for me as long as I don't have to experience it myself.

The biggest clues of my aromanticism have proven to be my lack of interest in finding a relationship, my fear and disinterest in making a commitment and the most important one, to me that is, - my fear of receiving romantic affection and the inability to feel it. I get annoyed with people showing me romantic affection, I rationalize that being in love is just chemicals in your body telling you to have sex. And romance is just the tool to get there on a social level.

As a bisexual however I get attracted to people, I like kissing and sex. I just don’t see it as the reason to be with someone and to share my life with them. That's what friends are for in my opinion.

I have had a relationship before I realized that I don't actually want one. I felt cornered, overwhelmed and I couldn’t reciprocate what they were giving me on an emotional level. All the feelings I misinterpreted before we entered the relationship turned to dust once our flirting became something serious. What I felt as we were chasing each other was excitement and the physical attraction. I mistook it for a crush because everyone around you expects you to find love when you grow up. So I thought it was that. Even recently I still thought I had a crush, when it was just desire and the excitement of eventually getting laid lmao The funniest part is that I only ever "crushed" on people who are romantically unattainable - much much older married men, fictional characters and such. Never ever was there a chance I could get with anyone and that felt so safe to me. It was just a fantasy and I didn’t have to deal with actual commitment or affection.

That doesn’t mean that I cannot love, I do love so many people so so dearly. I love my friends, I love my family. I just don’t feel romantic affection. It was especially hard to figure out because as an aroace you aren’t interested in neither sex nor romance. But being able to feel sexual attraction really confused me and made me feel like I was just not lucky with relationships. It's funny that once you realize you might be on the aspectrum that you become able to separate romantic and sexual and sensual attraction.

There are probably many people who think of you as a sex-crazed cold-hearted monster when you can feel one kind of attraction but not the other. But my sexual desire ain't more than any other allosexual's. And I don't choose to not fall in love with people and not wanting to spend my life with someone entirely. It's just how I happen to feel. And I am being honest about that. I would never make someone think that I have romantic intentions with them on purpose. I wouldn’t cheat on anyone even if I happen to end up in a relationship. I still believe that trust and being faithful is important if that is what you agreed on.

It's incredible how many think they are entitled to your romantic availability even when they don't even know you. But I know that I don't owe anyone.

There are some smaller clues that I have overlooked for so long:

- I flirt for fun only (and sex)

- According to others I "send the wrong signals"

- I get scared or repulsed by people having a crush on me

- My goals don't include a family nor a partner

- I cannot react appropriately to and appreciate anyone that expresses romantic affection towards me

There is so so so much more but I wanted to get a little out there.

Hi I am Shiro, I am an aromantic bisexual. And I am coming to terms with that, feeling less and less like an alien or broken.

#aromanticism #aromantic #ramblings #alloaro

[kyurilin]

I had so much fun making posts about my stories I did in 2022 last December that I've decided to do a post about the stories I've done in 2023 today! Unlike last year I'm not breaking it down by story so sorry it'll all be one post lmaoooo. And today's the perfect day to do it because this is the third year anniversary of when I started Stray! I'll throw it under a read more because it's a long post lol

Ironically I'm not starting this post off with Stray

FIRST UP

I actually did this one for a secret Santa event I was in a discord for at the time and it's the only instance of a story I've written that didn't have one of the rooftop gang as the main character

technically since the erasermic cats are named Present Meow and Fog this can count as a sneak peak into erasermic post Mic's Bullshit Life where they're now at the dorms lol

Also the Thirteen and Midnight bit of friendship in this story is kind of a subtle hint of where I'm taking their friendship in Crumbled Rooftops

NEXT

STRAY MY BELOVED

ya'll should thank @shabby-blog extra special for this one because they are 100% the reason this story even got dropped this year. They are also the driving force behind the fact I'm still working on it

as an extra special 3 year anniversary gift and because chapter two is taking so long to finish (it's a beefy bitch) everyone's Christmas present is access to the OG doc that was started on this day 3 years ago. Meaning this doc is from the era I was still writing Mic's Bullshit Life

the version on ao3 was started in October of 2021, then I don't think I touched it again until AFTER I had done the BNHA big bang and written some percentage of crumbled rooftops since that was THE focus

Genuinely one of my favorite things about Stray is the relationships. Emi and Shouta being exes and yet still close best friends. Nemuri showing up in Hizashi's apartment like "WAKE UP NERD". Oboro professing his love for Tensei and five minutes later hoping that Present Mic dropped nudes on Twitter. There's some great relationship things coming up in chapter 2 that I know you guys will love but writing the way these characters interact is a treat

I'm so glad that there are people who like this one and I'm so sorry it's taking so long to get more of it done but i promise. The next chapter will be worth it. And then chapter 3 will be extra worth it (even though I haven't even started that yet)

NEXT

This is so far my only published cloudnight story and it's also mistnight so it's obviously first and foremost the best thing I've published

I count this story as an apology for what I did to people in chapter 6 of crumbled rooftops

I LOVED writing this one so much. Particularly the opening bit where Kurogiri is like stunned into silence by Nemuri just being Nemuri.

Obviously it takes a lot of cues from the way I write Kuroboro in Crumbled Rooftops in regards to the dynamic between the two of them as well as introducing how late story Kuroboro will probably behave. Getting to go ahead and write Kuroboro where both parties are in agreement that this situation is permanent and are fine with that was a lot of fun since that's the end goal for CR.

And obviously it's always fun getting to write for Nemuri, particularly since the story I gave her the biggest role in is also one of my saddest. Getting to write a dynamic between Nemuri and Kuroboro was WONDERFUL. Obviously a lot of it is pure headcanon because, at most, in canon Oboro definitely crushes on her.

And on that note it's not that Nemuri has an easier time seeing Kuroboro as he is now compared to the Oboro she knew than EraserMic, it's just that the circumstances in this story are different. I didn't get to delve into it so much, but Kuroboro is on far better terms with them as well since he's not competing with them losing Nemuri. Obviously it's still hard on all of them to cope with Kuroboro as he is now but it's EASIER since theu'de not also grieving for Nemuri

obviously this is one of my favorites I've written this year but then again all my stories are my favorite

AND FINALLY

YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT TWO CHAPTERS OF CRUMBLED ROOFTOPS HAVE COME OUT THIS YEAR

Listen. I KNOW it takes me forever to update this one. And I'm once again going to say that shabby is a fucking godsend because they are the reason I managed to get chapter 5 done after I had to rewrite basically all of it just to get it to a point where it was good enough

This story is my BABY, OKAY. It takes a lot of cues from Mockingjay and the entire Hijacked Peeta storyline that I didn't realize until I reread that book earlier this year. And it WORKS.

We hit two pivotal points in this story this year, one of which has been in my mind since the story was originally outlined for the BNHA big bang last year and the other that I kind of happened into.

So to go into chapter 5 first- the Tensei reunion is one of my favorite parts of the story. The way Tensei interacts with Oboro was so GOOD. He is open and honest with Oboro (with the exception of exactly one moment) and it gives Oboro a perspective on things that sets into motion what happens in chapter 6

Not to mention the Eri and Oboro bonding in this chapter is absolute perfection. Eri dropping "your quirk hurts people too doesn't it" and Oboro realizing how similar they are is. Just. One of my favorite things.

BUT CHAPTER 6

CHAPTER. FUCKING. 6.

I am genuinely not lying when I say that one of the first scenes in my head for this story was Oboro confronting Hizashi and Shouta about Nemuri. I wanted the story to get to that moment so bad and I didn't know when or how I was going to get there

So obviously when I started chapter 6 and knew in my heart that THIS was it, it was going to happen in THIS chapter, I knew I had to do it right. And judging by the comments I got for it I feel like I nailed it (LET ME HAVE MY CONFIDENCE)

giving Oboro the single happy moment of finally being called Uncle Oboro was my apology to him

And I want to give a shout-out to the ending of that chapter specifically, since it's one of the few times I acknowledge the manga storyline that's currently ongoing rather than sticking to anime only information. Considering how long it's taken to write this story, when I knew for sure I was going to make Nemuri's death a pivotal part of the plot, that was going to be the major manga spoiler. But the anime beat me to it and suddenly before chapter 6 came out, the audience reading it was more likely to have the same information that everyone but Oboro had- that Nemuri was gone

HOWEVER while it's not particularly a big part of the plot character wise, the original ending to chapter 6 was going to be Oboro alone on the rooftop of UA. That had been set in stone since the reveal scene happened. But at some point in the final arc, at least two of the towers of UA get destroyed. Whether it's ACTUAL UA or not (thanks @machiroads for planting a doubt in my mind lol), my immediate thought was 'oh SHIT my FANFIC'. Because it was absolutely important to me that Oboro warp to the roof of UA, since in his mind it's safety. But suddenly that wasn't there and it changed how that last little bit of the chapter had to go and HONESTLY. IT WORKS SO MUCH BETTER.

I have no idea how long it's going to take me to get the next chapter out but I can tell ya'll this- we're entering the next arc of the story now. The biggest secret is on the table, and what happens next is going to define a lot of how the characters interact with each other and I am so looking forward to sharing it with everyone

AND THAT'S A WRAP. Last year I mostly did trivia bits but this year I just kind of went all over the place lol sorry everyone

[anowamij]

I would love an Ateez MtL:

Most to least likely being a fuckboi?

Thank you :)

Okeyy this is my first ever request thank uu sm <3

MtL Ateez Being a Fuck Boy :

I think ateez a little bit from their culture and the way they raised, I don't think they are comfortable communicating with girls.Ok wooyoung is a bit flirty but wooyoung has a korean flirting sense I'll explain below what I mean (this information is not entirely correct, I did this with birth chart and a little physical reading)

MOST

Seonghwa : Seonghwa has a very mixed heart and feelings. First of all, I think I will always say this, but the biggest role model in his life is his mother, and he is very attached to the seonghwa traditions even if he sometimes tends to cheat or get bored with the relationship (the moon sign Cancer and moon signs usually come into play when we leave our mother's side, they have a huge impact in our lives). The reason is Venus Aquarius so I don't know if more words are needed, but let me explain, people with Aquarius in general do not know what they want from a relationship and are quite selective. so seonghwa may like all kinds of people but his expectations are very high and even if it doesn't look like it he doesn't suit everyone. He likes an innocent person one day and may have a relationship with a bitch the next so his mood is very changeable but at the end of the day he can find a person who fits the Korean standards his mother will love to start a family, but such a person does not attract his attention seonghwa likes differences (probably he won’t be able to marry the person he wants because  He shouldn't be so attached to his mother and neptune of his in the 7th house) And when he says yes, it is different, people who have nothing to do with Korean standards attract his attention, if he does not comply with what his mother says (which I think is a very dominant character), he can be very happy about marriage. (really a classic man)

Yunho : Yes, yunho, I don't know, maybe he surprised you, but he's like that. First of all, the moon sign is Gemini and its mercury is Pisces. Mercury, be afraid of being a fish because they reflect the person and they can dissolve the character of the other person and act like that, not to Yunho. Yunho's Mercury in the 4th house may be manipulative related to family matters. Mercury is not comfortable in the 4th house. Anyway, yunho is very possessive but he doesn't seem to want to be restricted himself. (Red flag) But he's not the type to quarrel with girls, he just might get a little scared when people see Yunho's real personality. Someone who is very serious and hot, someone who will ignore everyone for his goals. He is very meticulous about his relationship (venus in Taurus 6th house) which means that if Yunho sees you as a wife, you will be like this forever, but if he sees you as a one night stand, you will be. Someone who will make you pay 1000 times if the other person makes a mistake. But don't be scared by what I say, he is very cute, but if the person next to him forces him, the terrible evil inside him will come out. At the same time, he suffers a lot of remorse for what he has done, but never hesitates to take revenge, when he gets angry, he sees nothing. Be afraid of quiet and innocent people.

Wooyoung : Now first of all, as I said, Wooyoung has a very flirty personality, but a one-day self-interest is not for wooyoung (i.e. Venus Libra and Mars Capricorn wooyoung definitely needs to see loyalty from the other side first), but he can still flirt a lot and is annoying because he loves the other person so much. he likes to do it. Now what I'm about to say will be a bit assertive, but Capricorn people will usually want a stable relationship and partner in their 30s (so you see, wooyoung is a bit of a mischievous personality.)

Hongjoong, Yeosang, San, Mingi, Jongho :

While the other members are at the same time, I think they are generally the ones who will insist on a stable relationship (especially jongho and hongjoong) Yeosang is a career guy in my opinion and doesn't have much to do with girls. Mingi may be afraid to take matters into her own hands in a relationship (a real dandere example) but in a relationship she can be very possessive, fixed, and jealous. He also plays very well with words if there is an emotional state. These 5 people want a very stable relationship, because they don't want both the other party and themselves to get hurt from the relationship. 

Least

If you want a detailed relationship review with these 5 members, I can, please feel free to ask questions <3

#ateez #natal chart #ateez writing #Ateez hongjoong #saturn #ateez yeosang #ateez wooyoung #ateez atiny #ateez mingi #ateez scenarios #ateezedit #ateez gifs #ateez san #ateez song mingi #ateez seonghwa #ateez smut #ateez soft hours #ateez yunho #ateez yandere #Seonghwa #ateez jongho #kim hongjoong #jongho #yeosang #yunho #ateez hyung line #ateez natal chart #mingi #moon #signs

[ofbreathandflame]

It's always the 40% mark that gets me on these books. It's just that Fourth Wing particularly doesn't seem to want to commit to a genre (and this is the case for many others like it). Is this a fantasy romance, where our focus should be primarily on the romance with a fantasy backdrop? Or is this an ambitious fantasy focused on the plot, intrigue, character motivations, etc.,

Because the characters are so flat...and so is the romance. Like we're told that Xaden should hate Violet, and yet he doesn't really seem to. There's not much depth to these characters. The character deaths either (1) make no sense or (2) add no value to the story. Like-in N.K. Jemisin's The Hundred Thousand Kingdom we have two important, expositionary deaths: (1) Yeine's mother and (2) Enefa (These deaths are introduced in the beginning). They drive the entirety of the plot. They mean something, and they echo across the story like ghosts. But they aren't senseless, unfounded tragedies for shock value. Or even the deaths that occur within the actual events of the story mean something to the plot.

Fourth Wing is written in a very careless, relaxed way. Does not imbue the characters with anything actual character goals, and then shoves them into these 2D cutouts.

Enter Dain, who raises absolutely valid concerns but he's written so obnoxiously that it's obvious the story doesn't want us to consider any other alternatives. Why is Violet continuing on this path when one option is (1) death and the other is what? being shunned by a mother she doesn't even have a relationship with? Violet trained her whole life to be a scribe, her father is a scribe (and she seems to have had a relationship with him) and yet when she's offered an opportunity to become a scribe when Dain gives her multiple opportunities to a scribe -- he's somehow boring. The girl can't even mount the dragon. She gets hit once and she's got broken bones. Cadets die everyday. And we've watched like two people die (who are much more qualified) because???? And then -- just as I guessed she gets not only the biggest dragon of the lot but TWO. I literally wrote in my notes when we hear about the black dragon 'she's probably gonna get that one despite being the least qualified in the lot'

And if they need these cadets and dragons so badly -- why are they allowing hundreds of cadets to die senseless deaths (see: the parapet and all the other tasks)? It's dumb, and it makes no sense. How are y'all letting HUNDREDS of people die in BASIC TRAINING? Like allowing people to die fighting their own mates??? How is that even building camaraderie?????

Look, I like parts of Violet's character -- like when she finds innovative ways to combat her inexperience and shortcomings or her seemingly genuine tenacity for kindness. But the book is losing me here because we're 40% into the book and the WB is bad and the romance is just as flat. It's getting to the point that I can't ignore some of the plot holes.

#fourth wing #yall im now entering sludge mode #pls develop these romances so i can at least get that #i do like parts of violet's character and its the only thing keeping me going here #violet sorrengail

[dreamatia-stories]

Design Notes: The Original Ten Peggle Masters

If you follow my main, you might know that Peggle Dual Shot for the DS has a mechanic known as the Bonus Underground. Each playable Master that made it in (Marina got axed, presumably due to hardware limitations) has a unique background and layout, and most notably for this project, different colored Gems to collect.

Why is this notable? Because I made sure that all ten of them got that color somewhere on their design for OoD. If playing Magic Pengel has taught me anything, it's that colors bring meaning to life, and also that I'm drawn to bright things like a toddler.

And I figured that while I'm explaining that, I might as well explain the rest of the choices I made. Note that I'll be using avatars from Recolor as "concept art", so some details may be off.

This'll be a long post, so bear with me here.

Bjorn's Gems are Orange, as reflected in his hat, jacket, and shorts. His glasses being orange are a complete coincidence, though; that element was actually taken from his appearance in Blast!

(Funnily enough, earlier drafts from before Blast's release had Bjorn getting his eyesight damaged in a fight with Fnord; in the current lore, he's always had nearsightedness that he actively hid with his magic for...Fnord's-eyepatch-related reasons)

His outfit is a little out-there, but it's definitely grown on me. I wanted to go for more RPG Hero than Superhero, specifically an agile spear-wielder. Horses are pretty fragile animals, and a having a jabbing weapon rather than a traditional heroic sword serves as a nod to his horn.

The biggest change I made from the concept when drawing is probably his hat, which loses its brim and gets a horseshoe instead of a star. My goal with all the Institute Masters is to hide a horseshoe somewhere in their design to tie them all together; it's gonna be harder for some Masters than for others.

(The Academy has its own insignia: a flipped horseshoe resembling an omega, as seen on Fnord's eyepatch in canon.)

Jimmy's Gems are Blue, as seen on his jeans and elbow pads. Not many places I can hide a theme color on an already-clothed Master, but thankfully our favorite gopher (who I thought was a guinea pig for years cause science) is consistently pantsless.

While there was no getting rid of his iconic hat, I did give him some protection from impacts in his elbow pads. I gave him jeans to look more like a Rad Cool Kid(tm), but apparently it's recommended skaters wear them due to being wear-and-tear resistant.

While I'm pretty sure it's just weird artifacting from cranking up the saturation slider in Recolor, it kind of looks like he's got green patches or leggings, the latter of which I would definitely wear if I was forced to wear jeans for whatever reason.

If I had to add a horseshoe, it'd probably be some kind of charm on his hat.

Kat Tut's Gems are Cyan, which can be seen, uh...everywhere.

I'm not gonna lie I had ZERO ideas on what to do for KT. I knew Recolor had an "Egyptian Headdress" item (which I'm not sure were actually a thing in Ancient Egypt) and went from there. I do like the silhouette of the headpiece, though.

I wanted something light and show-offy, since Kat Tut is an acrobat and a performer, and well...something definitely happened.

This is probably the most likely to be subject to change, even if I do like the flowy shapes.

Splork's Gems are Yellow, as seen in his overshirt and shoes.

I originally wasn't the biggest fan of Splork, but I think designing this look made me warm up to him a little. It's fairly basic by gijinka standards, just with an added bowling shirt and shoes in his theme color.

Splork only has one eye, so I deliberately gave him the Other Eye Syndrome bangs as a nod. The particular hair part I use for said bangs have an annoying layering shortcut that puts a pile of disembodied hair at your avatars' feet, so I have to make a bald version of every Splork I make and photoshop the two together.

If I ever draw him, I very much intend to give this guy his bulk back. We have enough twinks in this project already.

Claude's Gems are Magenta, which I misremembered as a more coral-y shade of pink. At least it stands out more from Warren's purple?

My main inspiration for Claude was essentially just "guy who tries to pick up chicks at the beach". Unfortunately, in my folly it completely slipped my mind that the guy who gives you Flippers might have a reason to be wearing, well...flippers.

At least I gave him some Big Meaty Claws.

Renfield's Gems are an eerie Lime Green.

My idea for Renfield was to somehow combine a suit with a wizard's robe, and I think the execution went REALLY well.

The suit portion was actually lifted from Eyegor; while it hasn't been stated, Renfield is available as a hat/head item for Xbox Live Avatars if you own Peggle, heavily implying Eyegor is a headless body that Renfield normally perches upon.

Despite having left the Institute prior to the New Frontier's formation, Renfield is one of the few characters that actually DOES have a confirmed horseshoe placement: a subtle shape made with the detailing on the back of his jacket.

Tula's Gems are more of a minty Green, which I misremembered as being more vibrant like her stem.

Tula's design was...supposed to be derived from her Blast Design, but when I went back to look it turned out it was COMPLETELY different.

For starters, her hat. I initially gave her a sunhat, but I recently started wondering if it was actually meant to be a bucket hat. Looking at the art, I legitimately cannot tell what kind of hat that is supposed to be. And apparently it's supposed to have a gaudy fake flower charm on it??? Not only that, but it completely clashes with her color scheme??? That is NOT the same yellow as her petals, and that orange is nowhere else in her outfit!!!

Also, her raincoat??? Apparently it's not actually cerulean, but a bright aqua that makes the green of her stem look muddy and the rest of her design look plastic and fake, which is especially egregious since she's an environmentalist!!!

And good GOD, I think Blast!Tula's face is somehow giving me DOUBLE Uncanny Valley vibes. Like, Classic Tula and her flower friends are kinda disturbing since they have detailed human faces on flower bodies, but Blast Tula STILL looks disturbing because of how Not-Tula she looks.

...Anyways, this is "Design Notes", not "Getting Really Mad At Fashion". Let's move on.

Warren's Gems are Purple, which is convenient since his regular outfit is already almost completely purple.

In this concept, I made his suit fit better since he's larger than he is in-game as a humanoid, but I think I wanna walk that back. He's a gambling addict on a teacher's salary, this man CANNOT afford a tailored suit. If the art department had ever seen a rabbit before in their lives then he would've already been peak design.

Also, just for fun, Warren's form is short as hell. Possibly the shortest New Frontier member besides Gnorman and Luna. I'm thinking 5'1" (~155cm), possibly even shorter.

Cinderbottom's Gems are Red.

Not gonna lie, I think I might be less happy with Cindy's concept than Kat Tut's solely because of how I put in the red. I REALLY should've gone for something less bright. Probably need to do something about that hair, too; maybe some kind of gradient.

Among the Institute, Cinderbottom is the most at-odds with Bjorn, even (not-so) accidentally making him violently ill with his smoke in one of the old Blog posts -- now what was that about 'flames only serving the virtuous'?

Anyways, my point is that Cindy is also based on an RPG hero, this time an armor-clad knight with a sword, befitting his noble stature. (I also thought it'd be a neat reversal if The Hero had a lance while The Lancer had a sword.) His green mail is derived from his green scales.

Master Hu's Gems are White.

This one was pretty much as simple as just giving him a white robe. Recolor didn't have any good turbans, so I left it off.

#peggle #bjorn unicorn #jimmy lightning #kat tut #splork splorkan #claude lobster #renfield pumpkin #tula sunflower #warren rabbit #lord cinderbottom #master hu #design concept

[blueberry-lemon]

What I Did In 2023

Ever since finishing school in 2017, I've always had a hard time feeling like I've "accomplished anything" in a given year. The months all blur together, and it's crazy how quickly I will forget something that happened or something I did.

To help myself with this, I wrote up a post last year of What I Did In 2022, which honestly felt good. So I figured I'd try again.

Sorry if you find these kinds of posts obnoxious. Hidden under the Read More just in case you do!

A few things I accomplished in 2023:

I wrote some stuff

I wrote Chapters 3 and 4 of Soul Symphony: Abandoned Encore. This is a sequel to a webcomic called Soul Symphony that I made and completed from 2010-2015. Olivia Myers, former music maestro and magical-girl adventurer, lives life as a depressed freelancer after quitting her teaching job. I think literally only like 2 or 3 people are even reading this, but good enough!

I wrote about JOMO, the Joy of Missing Out, when players have to work with different characters and resources in games.

I wrote a review of Bittersweet, an album by Jamie Paige.

My big piece of the year, which I chipped away at for months, reflected on nostalgia in culture and our personal lives.

I wrote about Cozy Games, which bizarrely was recognized in a Critical Distance weekly roundup.

I wrote about my fear for the direction of art and social media, a review of the writing in Sea of Stars, and other Cohost/Tumblr posts, which you can find in the #blogofkylelab tag.

As usual, I've continued my work as a Writer working on Rhythm Doctor, detailed below.

Art and Game Dev

Another sad year of barely 👏 drawing 👏 anything 👏 which is a huge bummer but I'm coming to terms with it.

Don't have anything finished to show for it, but doing a lot of messing-around in Twine and RPGMaker, which has been good for practice at least.

I funded the guest art and music for an upcoming card game, Isle of Swaps. I commissioned around a dozen artists, who I think drew around 50 total cards. Getting paid work as an artist is getting rough out there, so I wanted to help freelance artists the best I could.

Still working on Rhythm Doctor and A Dance of Fire and Ice at 7th Beat Games

We released Act 5 of Rhythm Doctor, which was our huge undertaking of the year! I co-wrote this with fizzd, and for the first time we were working with a completely blank slate with no levels made beforehand. I was recently looking through my Google Docs and was reminded how many different drafts and outlines I had come up with for this Act, some of which were long before the "athlete" story was even decided upon at all. I eventually helped come up with the character of Lucky (designed by our pixel artist Winston), and we got it all built out from there. I had a part in almost every sentence you see in the Act, I believe. I think I did an okay job, and players seem to really like the story and characters of Act 5, so that's a big relief.

Other Stuff

I've been running IndieGamesOfCohost for more than a full year now! I hope people have been enjoying this. It's been really tough to make the spare time for it, especially getting multiple developer interviews up per month, but I'm gonna keep pushing forward. Maybe "one interview a month" is a better goal to aim for. It's hard to tell how much people enjoy the efforts, but people do keep Liking and Sharing and Following so hopefully that means I'm doing something good with my spare time lol.

My partner and I moved! Aside from Act 5 of Rhythm Doctor this was probably the biggest thing. It was my first time apartment-hunting, as well as finding and paying for a moving truck and buying big furniture, getting renters insurance and all sorts of annoying stuff. In past apartments, I was lucky enough to be invited in as a roommate after the place was already set up. I also helped my parents pack up to move from the house they lived in for 28 years. Lots of moving. Hopefully no moving in 2024.

I hope your 2023 was bearable! Take pride in the little things you were able to get done. Let's all push through 2024 together.

#blogofkylelab #gamedev