#it's times like these that i know im not neurotypical

[thomasthetankengine]

every time a drug-related poll goes around i keep seeing posts that are like "ew why are the dirty addicts calling people uncool for not doing drugs what is this a dare ad" and it drives me insane. like part of me does want to understand n stuff bc peer pressure is a real phenomenon and 'coolness' was one of the reasons i took up drug abuse, i but like

equally we need to remember that addicts are oppressed for being addicts, and that the oppressed have the right to make fun of their oppressors. idk but after being shit on for years for being a drug addict, constantly dealing w people disregarding my capacity for making decisions, physical violence in quite a few cases, im kinda just done with having to be on my very best behavior to show any discontent with the way things are

especially when i see soooo many posts around here making fun of neurotypicals and cishets. like you guys know the value of mocking an oppressor. so why cant we laugh a little

important addition that i have to put on my posts any time i talk about drug addiction: i am not encouraging anyone to do drugs i am just talking about my experiences as a drug addict. if you take this post as encouraging you to do drugs, you are reading it wrong and should do some personal evaluation of your own biases, preferably without me, i am not here to help you grow i am just saying what i want to say.

#rue.text #drug tw

[roaenexists]

I'm so hyper-fixated on tarot and occult mysticism that if I want to socially connect with someone the only way I can manage is by offering to read their cards or conversing on the nature of divinity. It's embarrassing. It's somehow even less socially acceptable than my last hyper-fixation, The Sims 4.

#it's times like these that i know im not neurotypical #“what's new with you” ive read 4 books on magic n tarot in the past month n started working with Diana as an aspect of The Earth Goddess wbu #roaenpost #witchcraft #witchblr #witch #witchling #baby witch #tarot #tarot cards #tarotblr #divination #goddess #mysticism #adhd #adhd problems #hyperfixation #the sims 4 #ts4

[cryptcatz]

i seriously hate when someone is like “well xyx could be related to this mental illness or neurodivergence” and someone feels the need to come in like “well *I* have depression/adhd/am autistic/etc. and i shower consistently, am not messy, understand social cues, am great in school and work, and am overall a functional and ‘normal’ person so it’s no excuse uwu” literally shut the fuck up lmao

like what do you get by shitting on other neurodivergent ppl who struggle more than you do? of course having something like autism isn’t an excuse to do whatever you want with no regards to others, but it can explain why you struggle with other things more so than neurotypicals do. give us a little patience and understanding. don’t act like just because YOU can “overcome” your conditions it means the rest of us are not trying hard enough or are being lazy or whatever.

#saw an AITA thread by an autistic person where the comments were all either neurotypicals misunderstanding or other autistic ppl talking #like this. the few autistic ppl who explained meltdowns etc got downvoted #actuallyautistic #autism #neurodivergent #adhd #actuallyadhd #autistic #neurodivergencies #personal #but i see thsi sort of thing a lot #saw someone going like ‘oh this person is autistic so probably why they seem awkward here and made a joke with inappropriate timing. they #shouldn’t have made that joke but probably didn’t realize it was not a good time’ and someone else came in like ‘im autistic and know #not to make jokes at inappropriate times and understand social cues’ wow congrats not everyone with autism is like you shocking right??? #hits i guess

[d1sc01nf3rn0]

I'm seeing a lot of people with neurodivergency, specially under the autism spectrum say that "Laios is annoying, never shuts up, is insensitive, and I can't stand him"; and the irony is not lost on me lmao.

#like im sorry dude did you think all autism is “anime obsessed dude”? #how did you think neurodivergent people behaved on old times? #also like #being unintentionally insensitive is almost a telltale sign of autism cause you struggle with social cues #if anything i think a lot of you are finally habing to face your own internalized predjudices #“he is annoying” yes that's how ableist neurotypical people talk about us all the time tell me something i haven't heard already #like how do i explain to you that a lot of neurotypical people tal the exact same eay youre talkbing about laios #and is annoying when they go “but im neurodivergent! i can be biased agaisnt neurodivergent people” #yes you can because being neurodivergent is not a monolith and you are mistifying being neurodivergent #by implying theres some sort of virtue in being under the spectrum when youre as capable of being a dick just as everyone else #like you think you have autism but suddenly wanting to taste things youre not supposed to eat and not remembering peoples names is too much? #some of yall never experienced beinf a “weird kid” at a young age and it shows #and im not talking the “geek bullied” weird kid kinda way #im talking “the adults think I'm weird amd don't know how to deal with me” #WHICH FITS LAIOS PERFECTLY BECAUSE WE ACTUALLY HAVE A SCENE OF HIS DAD SHOWING HIM FALLIN AS A BABY #AND NOT UNDERSTANDING WHY IS THERE NO EXPECTED REACTION FROM LAIOS #anyways im making this rant because is unreal how many posts of this exist #you think Laios is annoying cause he wont shut up? #congratulations thats how most people see us #now get over it or watch other series if you hate it that much #dunmeshi hell thoughts #weird rant i suppose #dungeon meshi #laios touden

[junkartie]

I think the most crushing autism experience is friends/romantic partners eventually figuring out youre masking bcz if you keep it up long enough its also off-putting & unnatural and then insisting you act like yourself- only to realize they in fact do not like your real self and make comments about how annoying/different youre acting all of a sudden. ❤️🧎‍♀️

#realest shit i ever said #anyway this has hapenned so many times that im convinced only 3-4 people actually can stand me. ❤️🙏 #literally makes me sooooo mad too #‘’nooo youre not being yourself with me please ill accept you no matter what’’ #no actually. you do not like me sadly 🙏🙏🙏 #ughhhhh #i be in situations #this isnt a jab at myself i am so cool and funny #and trust im self aware enough to know the traits people dislike about me are fr harmless but could annoy someone easily. #so its not really mine or their fault #plus literally my brain just does not work like a neurotypical person #sorry i do not feel about things the way u do

[13eyond13]

Is it actually THAT hard to be polite and considerate to other people online... Like is it just the Canadian in me having unreasonable expectations or what

#just saying bc i feel like so many times a day people do things on here that make me go ??? #so im like #is it me expecting people to be way more polite than is reasonable or is it just people sucking at knowing manners and common sense #like if you just imagine yourself in someone else's shoes for 5 seconds i feel you can usually know what would be polite and what wouldnt #but maybe im wrong #and before you say its all due to neurodivergence etc #some of the politest people i know on this site are not neurotypical ok #p

[stararise]

omg my dear friend dr. watson finally sent me another email!!!

they moved in! side note but i'm seriously wondering where the bedrooms are in tgaac's 221b because? there are no doors in the living room??? (unless of course they're attached to the fourth wall) where do iris and herlock sleep

holmes sleeps and gets up early?? 'his habits are regular'???? this is ABSOLUTELY not what i expected

watson thinking holmes couldn't POSSIBLY be addicted to drugs because of the 'temperance and cleanliness of his whole life' lmao

interesting how in his description of holmes, he never mentions, like, colors. i guess to let the reader form their own mental image, on a doylist- wait. WAIT IS THIS WHERE THE TERMS DOYLIST AND WATSONIAN COME FROM. HOW DID I NEVER REALIZE

watson immediately taking an interest in holmes and welcoming the intrigue because of his monotonous lifestyle is so sweet

oh. so that's what people were talking about when they said sherlock holmes is autistic coded. adfbshg watson saying no one would ever go to such lengths and learn so much information about something unless they had a Purpose for it... listen my dear friend sometimes the brainworms just strike without warning!!!

NOT EVEN THE SOLAR SYSTEM FJSGGSGS tbh holmes has so much power to be able to forget things at will

'i could not help smiling at the document when i had completed it' aww

wait holmes is good at swordplay? i never knew that!

'i threw it into the fire in despair' is a very humorous line

absolutely punched in the face by the reminder that the original inspector lestrade is, like, a middle-aged man

'with the unreasonable petulance of mankind' is such a good phrase

not watson insulting holmes to his face! i would be so embarrassed. in his defense, the premise does sound pretty ridiculous, though

*herlock sholmes voice* i'm a great british consulting detective, the only one in the world! fjsgsg that was the only thing i could think of when reading that line

i like how holmes's deductive reasoning method is literally just making a ton of (admittedly, fairly logical) assumptions about people. and it works

i also wondered why watson couldn't simply be tanned from being outside, and then i remembered this book is set in london, england

watson is SO upset over his blorbos being insulted lmao

'brag and bounce!' is such a funny exclamation

#star says #letters from watson #sherlock holmes #you do not want to know the amount of times i typed sholmes and herlock and wilson while writing this fjshvsgs #also. im absolutely flabbergasted that watson thinks no one would ever #learn all about the minutiae of a subject for like. fun??? #i don't think that's even an autistic thing? obviously special interests are what they are but #neurotypical people have interests too

[caffeinatedopossum]

Ed recovery with autism and adhd is so weird.

Like I'll either forget to eat lunch entirely or I'll forget when I ate last and end up eating lunch 3 seperate times instead.

Then sometimes I have to literally ask my girlfriend if I'm hungry because I don't fucking know what my body is feeling ever and she's usually like "Yeah you should eat".

Then when I go to prepare food it's like:

Me: okay body so how much food do you want

Body: hm...m... food...?

Me: yes food. But HOW MUCH

Body: uhh... s e v e r a l

Me: WHAT DOES THAT MEAN

And then I end up making too much for me to eat (thank God I'm allowed to not eat all of my food now- I hated that rule so much growing up) but its still so goddamn confusing skgjfjfhff

#wrong #anyway im incredibly thankful for my girlfriend who is so so patient and supportive #the amount of help and support i never realized i need is actually insane #like i genuinely cant function without help because of my autism (and adhd to a lesser degree) #idk its just really nice to not only have help but not feel like i should be ashamed of needing it either #oof i forgot the other thing that happens when i make food is that i prepare it and then by the time its done cooking #i dont even want it anymore -_- like wtf? i literally was JUST hungry #or i wont feel hungry but then as soon as i go to bed and cant make food because everyones asleep #and the lights are all off and im all cozy and sleepy #THEN im starving. my body has the worst timing ever sometimes istg #still not as bad as before recovery though #ive just elected to be a lot more patient with myself #i used to compare my recovery to other peoples never understanding what i was doing #but the truth of the matter was those people i was comparing myself to #had only had eds for like 2-5 years. which is still bad of course but its not applicable to my scenario #they were also neurotypical and cisgender which i also couldnt relate to #the thing is i never learned how to eat properly. before my ed i still wasnt eating enough #because my parents were neglecting me #i only know hunger and i never learned how to eat properly or what being nourished feels like #that means i have to not only relearn things but learn them entirely for the first time #i have to learn what hunger feels like and what being full feels like and when it is and isnt ok to skip a snack #its just really hard learning these things for the first time ar 20 years old #and once i acknowledged that- that it was really hard for me- i think i felt a lot of relief #like im struggling but it makes sense that i am and i wont always feel like thia #one day i will heal. i just needed a little help

[bmpmp3]

I NEEED to go back to making art that makes it ABUNDANTLY clear that theres something wrong with my brain BUT NOT in a cool or stylishly interesting way. i need to do it in a way that makes people say "hm." and walk away

#sowwy ive been kinda going through it in my fine arts major rn can u tell HJKSDHKFd #ive been feeling like. scared. and paralyzed by marketability and branding. #i cant stop thinking about how other people will see my art. but not like in a good way #when i was younger i thought about it in a good way. like hee hee hoo hoo the act of looking connected us hee hee #but rn i keep thinking about it in like this wretched like consumer product mindset? ouhhghhhhh el problema es el capitalismo #and like maybe this works for some people. to think like this. to make art like this. its what my professors push me towards #not intentionally. they dont say it out loud at least. im not sure if they know or not some of the irony #my professors are nice and pretty smart and talented and i like em. but sometimes i wonder like. the push for us as students to make like #marketable 'avant garde'? stuff thats safe but pretending to be weird and out there #i dont mean to sound pretentious. in general i play it too safe myself (spent too much time as an edgy 10 year old with my #parents freaking out over my shoulder because they think the fact that i drew an anime character frowning means something serious LOL) #but i dunno man. my least interesting art with the least amount of care thought or effort always gets so much more attention in school #nowhere else oddly. online? people like my more passionate but seemingly frivolous art (oc art etc. not frivolous to me but yknow how it is #same with irl artists and other industry people outside my school. whats going on in my school LOL #i know from experience i cant push myself into a supposedly marketable brand. if i try to make something sell it will not. #i dont know why. maybe theres an invisible essence buyers can tell when i didnt care jkfsldjdfrds #but my teachers LOOOOVE the stuff i put no passion in its so bizarre orz but i gotta relearn how to ignore half of their advice #i used to be better at it. but i also only used to ignore like a quarter of their advice. maybe i need to amp up how much im ignoring #that sounds mean. they have plenty of good advice. but also plenty of advice thats clouded by their own biases #and i gotta relearn how to sort out this stuff again. i forget every few months for some reason #you know i always think ouuhhhhh i act so neurotypical ouhhhhhhhhh im outgoing i talk to strangers all the time i seem confident #im so masked IM SO MASKED but then i go a couple weeks where every conversation i have has people looking at me like #i have two heads and neither of them are speaking their language. and then i descend into madness like this HJKLDSHJDS #i'll be fine i'll figure it out. i need to stop trying to get a good grade in being a 'cutting edge' conventional artist <3 #i need to just. draw my cartoon characters in peace 😔😔😔

[dancedance-resolution]

exhausted dot png

#i’m cishet neurotypical for the weekend right and i guess bc i was cishet half of the time just two short years ago i thought this would be #a lot easier than it is? like i underestimated how exhausting this would be #not to sound Like This but hanging with all of these protestants really is so different than the catholics. maybe bc i’ve been largely surro #unded by catholics so im well adapted to dealing with them lol idk. #it’s just. i accepted that the cousins wouldn’t accept me if they ever knew but my beloved beloved great aunt….. #my mom is so sure that she would accept me if she knew but i’ve been telling her i don’t know i don’t know now that she’s a protestant it’s #different…. and lo and behold every other fucking word out of her mouth is virulent shit #and idk what to do with it. #i love her too much to lose her over this (for now) but christ i nearly told her i was a dyke at lunch today just to get her to shut up abou #t trans people. #i have no desire for my family to ever know i’m genderqueer bc i don’t need them to know but eventually my aunt is going to need to know the #homosexuality and this trip has just emphasized how. man it’s gonna be shit isn’t it. no doubt to cling to anymore. #anyways i’m expected to go to baptist church tmrw morning and autism brain i kind of want to go just to see what it’s like but me brain i’m #just. so tired. and even if the transgenders don’t get brought up in the service i don’t think i want to go anyways.

[trafficpan-ic]

Ready to fight everyone that says people dont need a diagnose

Meanwhile it saved my life

#and many other autistic people im sure #a diagnose by autism is like a need bcs finally you can explain why everything in your life did go so bad #why you could Not “keep up with the others but actually you had so many other needs #autism is a disability #but so many of is have still lived in a neurotypical world without any changes bcs we didnt know #a diagnose saved my life bcs finally i knew who i was and why i did struggle all the time #i was depressed bcs i didnt get what was wrong with me #and dat after day things got worse until i finally saw the light #and now day after day i get more the help that i deserve #the reconision for the things that i struggle with #and now i do know why I struggle with them #Its like I could finally breath again #so yes a diagnose was necessary bcs I had a disability that I did not know of #My whole identity was taken from me without knowing #tbh people really don’t see that it’s the best thing that happened to me and being diagnosed is in a bad light for no reason actually #being diagnosed autistic is the best thing there is #actually autistic #autistic #asd #actually autism #autistic things

[dykedragons]

overwhelmed in class today and tried doing the hand flapping stim and that shit felt so good. like instantly soothing. where has this been all my life. i think i need a diagnosis.

#sigh... autismposting #ramblies #part of me is like ''but am i REALLY autistic bc i only started hand flapping when i got friends that do it and felt not judged'' #like of course i wouldnt have started doing it naturally. i felt like people wouldve judged me so i just developed other stims instead #like my constant rocking. and kneading my thigh with my foot when cross-legged. and the swaying while standing and #you get the picture. #also the 10 other reasons why i think im on the spectrum™ are still there #sensory issues. focus issues. special interests. the whole dragon-obsessed-since-1st-grade thing. the fact that i just dont understand #certain social cues and have like. a barely-present sarcasm radar. the fact that all of my good friends have either autism or adhd.... #funny how that works out. birds of a feather flock together <3 #also i got 131 on the raads-r test which is.... i know not a stand-in for a formal diagnosis but that aint a negligible number besties #not to mention the fact that regardless of my symptoms i always feeling im just Missing a Chip that Other (neurotypical) People Have! #like goddamn i really just have been autistic this entire time huh. it makes things make so much sense... #like i have to work double-time in my brain to match some semblance of ''normalcy!!''

[kienium]

i have such a hard time with tone indicators still because i don't know what the fuck i mean either. how am i supposed to fake it until i make it in these conditions

#kie rambles #brought to you by the two mega autism trucks having sex where my brain should be #rant in tags #also even tho ik what the tone indicators are supposed to mean??? i have no clue how to apply those to a social context #it's like taking a test but the study guide is written entirely in emojis and i dont know what the subject is #“you said the thing you should know how you intended it” well. #when you spend your whole life trying to make your interactions palatable through masking #and suddenly this new tool that's supposed to help you get intentions across appears #i dont know how to use it without unmasking fully and i dont know how to do that yet #TONE INDICATORS ARE GOOD BTW. they help so many ppl and help people feel more free to joke around with each other w/o hurting one another #just saying it's. still hard to change the wiring of “indicate tone for neurotypical people to understand” -- #-- to “don't indicate it at all until the end” #basically i still wanna use them bc theyre helpful to lots of ppl but like when i fuck up constantly pls be patient #feels like masking 2 electric boogaloo #masking as a nt person thats masking as a nd person. maskception. let me out of here oh my god #also im in class rn making this post instead of paying attention so if i repeat myself like 8 times im sowwy

[steampoweredskeleton]

Oh my GOD I have never felt more autistic in my fucking life than right now communicating with a bunch of presumably neurotypical professional people, WHAT THE FUCK ARE ANY OF THEM ACTUALLY TRYING TO SAY TO ME

JUST SPIT IT OUT FOR GODS SAKE

#delete later #im so bemused #this is like the first time ive ever been like aware of what theyre trying to get at and watching them skirt around it #is both frustrating and so funny #like my manager trying to tell me things Some New People Dont Do and im like just say i need to fix it #this is getting us NOWHERE #ya know that tiktok where autistic ppl are coaching neurotypical ppl through how to actually express fully yeah i finally get it #one of the other managers just sending a message saying Hi Caleb #NOTHING ELSE #MY MAN JUST SAY WHAT YOU NEED. I WAS WAITING FOR THE FOLLOW UP MESSAGE AND IT NEVER CAME #NOW I GOTTA JUST BE LIKE Hi whwts up WITHOUT SOUNDING LIKE IM DEMANDING WHAT YOU WANT #THIS DANCE IS FUTILE JUST TELL ME #i fucking burst out laughing at my screen im so tired

[misfortunegirl]

having bpd moments is so embarrassing

#imaginw not going insane when you sense abandonment. cound Not be me(⁠θ⁠‿⁠θ⁠) #like. how di i explain what happened was NOT me. i emotionally black out and its like a completely different person takes over and then im #left having to deal with the aftermath and being like god fucking damnit i did it again. #having romantic relationships makes my bpd 26272727 times more intense #youd swear I was almost neurotypical if you were to see me when i dont have any romance going on. #well. at least i havent done or said anything that bad. i resisted the bad urges somehow?? #having my brain wired this way is literally hell #i feel like my medication does nothing for me #i dont know if it ever did do anything #/⁠╲⁠/⁠\⁠╭⁠(⁠•⁠‿⁠•⁠)⁠╮⁠/⁠\⁠╱⁠\ #i have a presentation due in a week and my first exam in 10 days AND IM LITERALLY DOING NOTHING #i need to start the presentation at least 😀

[carneflower13]

i honestly think my job is what’s keeping my depression symptoms around

#jess speaks #vent #im on antidepressants but i think as long as i have this job im not gonna end up feeling that much better #the sheer amount of dread i feel upon waking up on days when i have to work is insane and. definitely not normal i think #and i feel like im always so tired that my days off dont even give me time to recover #and im so tired that i never have the energy to enjoy anything or create anything new #idk idk #i just want to quit. i want to quit so bad but i dont have a backup plan so if i quit my parents will be upset #and maybe if they just gave me shorter shifts it wouldnt be so bad but like #its usually 7 hour shifts 3 or 4 days a week and those are killers #retail is so physically and mentally draining #especially on neurodivergent ppl and ppl with anxiety like me #bc youre constantly forced to interact with mostly neurotypical people who could get pissed at you for anything at any second #nightmare!!! #i know people definitely have it worse with their jobs but this is killing me