#its just jokes

[mcyt-innit]

How it feels waiting for Mumbo to upload his POV

#mcyt #mumbo jumbo #secret life #i hope this doesn’t come across as mean #its just jokes

[literaphobe]

kwt was only ever funny because their other potential ship name was kream. that’s it. karl’s so affectionate with all his friends and sometimes if feels like the multi shippers push things dynamics that aren’t really there so hard

queam is way funnier anyway 🙄🙄🙄

#ask #again DO NOT TAKE ME SERIOUSLY #<- just in case i make someone mad #ITS JUST JOKES #almost everything is a joke to me….

[spiribia]

once you hit adulthood a day will come when you’re suddenly like VEGETABLES 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 and it never goes away

#talks #its not about previously disliking vegetables. #I specified adult just because of the way my body started decomposing and rotting once i went meals without. #also i was just making a joke abt myself getting randomly more into vegetables one day. its really not the kind of one sentence post #that should justify weirdly accusatory assumptions

[roninkairi]

You can only reblog this today.*

*PLEASE READ THE TAGS

#adventure time #finn the human #if you are reading this #please be aware this is a joke #this was a random thing tound on Facebook #and no finn really didn't say that #so go ahead and reblog it #just don't take it seriously #some of the people who reblogged this overreacted #so I feel compelled to add these tags to call them out on it #like seriously #chill out dudes #maybe eat a taco or two #tacos are life #so are burritos #ok this is running its course #david zaslav can suck it #i just felt like adding that because he is a douche

[batcavescolony]

THE TIKTOK PEOPLE ARE SAYING THEY MADE GONCHAROV!!!!!

#goncharov #zepotha #tiktok #💀💀💀 #come to us when you get LINDA CARTER AND MARTIN SCORSESE HIMSELF in on the joke #AND AND AND #Can we talk about how zepotha was stated by a artist to sell her song? like its a meda stunt an add. Goncharov was just fun not marketing #*started

[jvlianbashir]

"haha these alpha trad men really just have dom/sub kinks!" i know misogyny isn't real to a lot of you guys but did you know that some people just actually do genuinely think women are inferior creatures

#i dont normally make posts like this but ive seen MULTIPLE??? posts floating around that are meant as jokes saying #'haha *deeply misogynistic attitude/institution* is basically just kink! ;P' #and no one challenging it or if they do theyre seen as buzzkills or anti-sex/anti-kink #well im neither of those and i keep seeing it and its getting to me #not st #doctor's log

[queenburd]

in the span of hours tumblr has banned an out trans woman who was outspoken about her harrassment and the unfairness of the website's system and MULTIPLE out trans women who commented on the absurdity of the situation--has even banned them for posting pictures of hammers and cars.

if staff thought this was going to make the situation go away, all staff's gotten is a class action lawsuit. good job, hellsite "moderators." you showed your whole ass and you're going to go to court. again.

#im BITTER #im keeping my blog mostly free of it but you KNOW ive seen it and its just beyond a joke at this point how staff has acted. #and you know? theyre only banning the out trans women. ive seen that. the ones who arent out as trans women are untouched.

[inkskinned]

probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.

we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."

at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.

the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.

the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.

what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.

here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.

#this is true #writeblr #warm up #relatedly for some reason one of our Favorite Jokes #amongst the Siblings #is like - ''this is so good u will love it'' #while we are reacting to something we OBVIOUSLY find viscerally disgusting #like we will be actively retching and be like ''nooooo it's so good'' #to the point that i sometimes get nervous if someone outside my family is like oh u should try it its good #(obvi we never force each other to eat anything. we are all just curious birds and #like. we're GONNA try the new thing.) #edit to answer why we had so much vanilla: #my mom is a very good cook and we LOVE to bake. so she just had a lot of staples in the house. #it's one of those things that's like. have u ever continuously thought ''ah i should get butter im probably out'' #even tho u are not out of butter. so u end up with like 5 years of butter. #my mom would do that in a costco but like with vanilla extract #to be fair we WERE always using WAY TOO MUCH bc we were kids #so like she was right to stock up #ps. yes we were VERY sick after this lol i just didn't want to include it in the post in case ppl had an ick about that #u can tell it's real bc we knew "oh no we fucked up that's too much vanilla to waste'' but our reaction was to just. keep drinking it #> sibling understanding that vanilla extract isn't free > knowledge mother doesnt mind if we use it for milkshakes #> sibling choice to maybe get in a loophole of ''not wasting it'' if we drink it bc that's the same as using it (not throwing it out) #listen bud i was like 13 and my sister was like 9 #when my mom discovered this we. got in. A LOT. of trouble. a lot of it. a LOT of it. #3rd edit bc i guess it isn't clear - i am 1 of my brother's 2 little sisters #i am the middle child #out of all the ways i have had to explain a post before being like ''did u forget a middle child can happen'' is my favorite

[shikisei]

ok stupid question my bad

#ace attorney #is he joking or is he serious? this is the power of autism. #sorry if its hard to read i thought about posting them as separate images but it it just didnt have the same impact i wanted #the amount of times ive drawn just stupid comics making fun of edgeworth im sorry guys #id in alt text by wright-phoenix. thank you

[thedreadvampy]

people seriously pretending EEAAO is overrated suddenly bc it swept awards? it swept awards largely because it is very very very good. I cried like someone who's just had a religious revelation BOTH times I watched it bc it touched something raw and real and beautiful but it was also just very, very funny. everyone's performance kills and the concept is creative and interesting and doesn't distract from the emotional core. you guys are just contrarian.

#red said #also there are posts and tweets like THIS IS JUST FOR MCU FANS #like please go on demonstrating how you've adopted 'mcu fan' as a shorthand for 'person who likes films i don't' #or 'person who likes films that are popular' #because the defining features of mcu films are that they're high budget irony poisoned derivative works #targeted at a broad audience so aiming to be accessible and inoffensive #and it really seems. like 'accessible' is the part of that you object to #bc EEAAO is a highly original A24 indie film with a 14.5m budget which is NOTHING #it's made mostly with practical effects and sets #and most importantly it's beautifully painfully earnest. it's never trying to shy away or go Hey Look How Silly This Is 😏 #everything is driven by its earnest desire to talk about specific themes #i think the people comparing it negatively to mcu films are stuck on the fact that it's about a multiverse and it's got jokes #and colourful action scenes #but they miss that the referential jokes (like racacoonie) and setpieces aren't the point of the film

[cali]

i hate motherfuckers who base their whole personality on the sum experience of their formative years + the people they mostly interact with + some key impactful events in life + a small amount of traits they were just born with + their current interests and some other stuff probably. so fucking annoying...

#notifications blocked goodnight all of you #i like that theres people from both ends of the spectrum of opinions on how to build a personality in the tags #i just wanted to make a joke about when someone says the phrase “making it their entire personality” #its a nothing phrase

[theoldkyokodied]

Guess who has been rewatching iasip...

#it me. i have been rewatching it! (pointing at myself) #macdennis #iasip #macden #dennis reynolds #mac mcdonald #it's always sunny in philadelphia #girl help lol #i always loved the way they love (violently. obsessively. with hatred and desperation) #is iasip comparable to no exit by jean-paul sarte. discuss #sorry its so weird i usually only reference iasip with jokes. now im here. drawing art #they are hard to draw btw. i just dump all of the doodles at once like usual. mayhaps i'll even upload it to the drive

[gertritude-art]

HEARTBREAKING: local food blogger thinks it's funny to put on a rude persona in their recipe videos

#who finds these videos funny. who are they for #its me #doodle #see i actually enjoy viewing recipes and learning about food so i like people who just. do that in their videos #suicide tw #also clarification: deliberately rude personalities are different to people who like to be sarcastic or joke when cooking

[pencilscratchins]

atla renaissance pt 3 calls to me like a siren

#back to my roots #atla #zuko #sokka #toph #avatar the last airbender #avatar #to everyone arguing whether or not it’s accurate to say they do have ODS consider a few things #a) it’s a joke i made while high #b) toph wouldn’t care she would just say shit to piss them off because she’s 12 #c) maybe welcome joy into your life. consider taking even a second of a break from whatever compels you to ruin my desire to post #and just chill. because this is and has never been that deep #art #my art #my fan art #fan art #is this the last thing i ever post on tumblr? who knows #im high and its 2am lets get wild

[caruliaa]

staff still hasn't given me polls, what should i do?

🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪 their moms 69%

🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪 their dads 31%

grace image os i get to look at her

#edit: edited the og post to what i want but to set the record straight i edited to the post to be mathematically correct right after the #first person pointed it out which was like ten mins after i posted the og post. now fuck offf !!!!! the rest of the tags r from the og post #for some reason i feel very immature making your mom jokes about tumblr staff. which i shldnt !! #bc they suck nd they still havent given me polls. but i ig i feel imature bc it a your mom joke 😭 but still i tihnk its kinda funny #EDIT: edited the post to what i want bc yall were getting annoying . but to set the record straight i edited to post to be mathematically #also its *mum* not mom okay i am NOT !! an american . but if i say mum everyone will j be like 'omg british' like i dont know i am #anyway. i want polls please. give me the rigght to force my mutuals chose between the most inane things #also i tihnk it wld b cool for the cs weekly blog. like w each episode #i cld do a poll of like. out of five stars what do u think of this ep #and it wld b a cool thing of which eps r ppls faves #also i cld have like. whose ur fave in team red whos ur fave in acme etc #id prob just have to go with vile faculty bc theres more than 10 ppl in vile. and ppl wld kill me if i didnt include nel the ell or whoever #it wld b fun !!! #oh btw csweekly thats i thing i want to start. prob on uhhh the 11th of feb ill post abt it more but its basically #a tag/blog for watching cs one ep a time watching one ep every saturday #ya !! :3 #flappy rambles #inaccessible #ask to tag #(<- idk. just in case)

[evilwizardcrab]

my main grievance with the tma fandom is that JonMartin is just, an Objectively Bad ship name. I'm sorry but in a world of Lonely Eyes, Door Keays and Terminal Velocities fucking Jonmartin? seriously?? Jon and Martin? yeah i sure hope it does. that is certainly the two main components of that ship. 10,000 people following the ship tag, 9900 fics on AO3, over 5 years of podcast and not a single person managed to popularise a ship name beyond literally just. smokshing their first names together. and don't get me started on "Jmart". that's not a ship name. that's a cornershop 12 year olds go to buy monster. wheres the magic? the ~spooky~? the "first date is essentially the apocalypse"? we are getting a bad grade in ship names, something that is both Normal To (Not) Want and Possible To Achieve.

#obviosuly this a joke I dont actually feel that intesnely about ship names #its just funny to me #and yes i know there are other semi-popular ship names for this pair #they just dont seem to be the mainstream ones #jonmartin #jmart #the magnus archives #tma #tma shitpost #stick stick sticky stick