#its the same issues over and over again in my head idk why it makes me sad still!!

[starspaceace]

unrelated to anything im having my uh late night downward spiral so im gonna take a shower and play final fantasy thank you

#lies down. augh #its the same issues over and over again in my head idk why it makes me sad still!! #like bitch we get it youre lonely and sad!!! we've been over this!!!!! boo #and i like dont have the energy to talk in a discord group without feeling annoying or whatever how am i supposed to fix the lonely issue #what happens when ur isolated as a teen/young adult and dont get the conversation skills and ur behind ur peers and then ur just weirder #bc u cant hold a conversation 👍 #anyways! shower #carley talks

[matan4il]

911 ep 705 first watch reactions

Of course 911 would "punish" the "You are the boss of you!" guy with an alien hand that attacks him, and does what it wants. Pooor Buck and Eddie paying the price for that...

Okay, love the storyline with Hen and Karen possibly eventually adopting an older girl. Too many shows just find easy, unrealistic ways to give their same sex couples kids, and I am really glad that 911 shows the reality of it, and that it is a more complex struggle for many, that it's an act of continuously choosing to be parents. That's actually an amazing, difficult thing, and it should be faithfully depicted and respected, for all of its heartache, and the little moments of triumph.

Buck and Tommy on a date, and Eddie comes along with Marisol? Love how Buck's bisexual awakening and coming out continues to involve Eddie so much. Tell me they're end game, even if they're not gonna get together right now, without telling me they're...

I did not need to learn Marisol is moving in with Eddie like this, with any build up, or even any sort of insight into the relationship, and nope, that does not bode well for them. IDK how 911 managed to do it, but they have somehow managed to give Eddie a love interest the show is even less invested in than Ana.

And the funniest bit, is that Marisol and Eddie's big development is only there to further Buck's journey anyway.

"You can never have too much closet space" LMAO the way 911 both made me laugh, and feel sorry for poor, baby bi Buck. XD

Hmmm. Were parts of this scene cut out? We don't get to see Eddie on his own date with Marisol, but constantly looking over at Tommy and Buck? Boo. I'm glad we at least got the BTS photos, then. But seriously, why!? That was gonna be so delicious.

Oh, Tommy's breaking up with Buck. I mean, good for him, and he ain't wrong after Buck's "after this, we're gonna go out looking for chicks" reaction, but man do I feel sorry for Buck. Him and Tommy might not be my end game (Buddie forever will be), but I do think this relationship could be good for our baby bi. Tommy being in the same profession, knowing what it's like to have this gap between who you are and the image of guys in your line of work, plus he's got more experience than Buck, is sure of himself, can help our boy figure himself out, and also Buck obviously does like his vibe. He deserves to be with someone he actually likes, not just the first woman willing to be with him that the plot pushed in his way.

Oh, baby Buck. :( You didn't even tell Maddie about Tommy. You really aren't ready it. But also (and as a Buddie shipper, more importantly), Tommy broke things off with Buck, but what is eating him up, is that he lied to Eddie. XD Yeah, this gonna end with wedding bells, sooner or later. On screen, off screen after the show ends with canon Buddie, or only in my head if 911 never dares make Buddie canon, I don't care. That kind of emotional devotion is not something that my hopelessly romantic heart can ignore.

OMG, this is how Buck comes out to Maddie? XD Via random pronoun mention, and as a by product of trying to figure out how to tell Eddie the truth? This is hilarious. lol It really makes it clear that, after all, the issue for Buck really isn't people knowing he is also dating guys (or checking their asses), even when it's the other closest person in the world for him, it's Eddie. Specifically. Buck's ready, even if he doesn't have the exact clear words yet, he's just not ready to tell Eddie. Can't imagine why. XDDD

What was that awkward post-sex scene with Eddie and Marisol? And the issues with her moving in are popping up a second after she has. But yeah, we have no idea who this woman is as a person, she's been a cardboard cut out so far, and then one of the first things we do learn about her, is that she would call her stuff better than Eddie's? Once again, this is not the stuff great romance is made of. Or... even just the stuff any kind of romance is made of.

Wait, Marisol was a nun, and Eddie didn't even know!? This whole ep is telegraphing in the news of how weird and awkward and underdeveloped this r/s is, not just for us as viewers who know nothing about Marisol, but apparently for Eddie as well.

And of course his Catholic guilt is gonna kick in now. I'd care, except 911 has given me absolutely no reason to. Seriously, I care more about Buck and Tommy after just 2 eps, than Eddie and Marisol, even though this is technically her 2nd season on the show.

Of course Buck went to find Eddie, and spotted him at the gym. Forever 201 vibes, with Eddie being the focus of Buck's attention. ^u^

I couldn't care less about Eddie's Catholic guilt crisis, and how it's actually a projection of what his real issues are with Marisol, but it's nice to see that as always, Buck's the one who can tell when something's off, and offer Eddie exactly what he needs (even when that's to talk to someone else, but Buck figures out immediately who the right person to address is), and then they just very naturally switch, because Eddie can also tell when something's off with Buck, and he wants to tell him something. Soulmates. THAT is the stuff that great romance IS made of.

:/ The imagery of Catholic nuns has not been around for over 2,000 years, please stop being ignorant about your own religion, and the very different way it looked in its early days.

Bobby is forgiven, he does give good advice, and his "her ex, the Lord" bit, which prompted that reaction from Eddie, is hilarious. XD

So... when Eddie is having issues with Marisol, he already knows he has to figure out how he feels about her, but instead of doing so, he goes to his safe place... Buck's loft.

Man, Eddie being into Tommy's choice of avoidning relationships with women, and hanging out with boys, after in the past, Eddie had dealt with his Shannon issues by running away from her, and re-enlisting in the army, where he gets to hang out with boys, when we all (Buck included) know why Tommy's "hanging out with boys"... I do like that if they want to (and hopefully they do), this further lays the groundwork for Eddie's own queer realization.

Buck and Eddie helping each other with their respective romantic problems, without realizing they are each other's respective romantic solution is gonna make me chew on my own fists. Again. But I'm not even a little bit surprised that Eddie was totally fine and accepting of Buck being bi, or that the first thing he thought of is how this reflects on them. Because their friendship IS way deeper and closer than normal for platonic friends, and Eddie's little reassurance is also an admission of that.

Man, for a second I was worried they also cut out Eddie in the loft, once more putting his thumb on Buck's pulse point possessively, in a perfect parallel to 303. I would have sued for emotional damages. But yeah, it says so much that the peak of emotional meaningfulness for Buck when coming out is in relation to Eddie, and that the scene itself peaks with Eddie, instead of finishing rushing out to take care of his own romantic business, hurries back to Buck first, to hug him, place his hand on Buck and give him orders. "Sure, you're gonna be dating this guy, but I'm still your real husband."

Well, at least Eddie amitted to himself and Marisol that he doesn't actually know her. But... I have never seen two people being both being so happy about not moving in together, and I'm supposed to think this r/s has a chance? Okay. Suuuure.

The scene with Buck going to Tommy to set things straight ready for something was lovely, it was nice seeing him excited, and get to choose, and hear he's wanted. But since the note Tommy and Buck's storyline in this ep should have ended on, is Buck showing Tommy he's ready enough to let others know he's dating a guy by inviting Tommy to come with Buck to Madney's wedding, then why is the very next scene playing the romantic switch again, making us think Buck's car just arrived at the wedding with him and Tommy, only for Buck and Eddie to walk in together? I see what you did there, 911.

Thank you for reading! If you're looking for more, you can find my s7 reactions tag here, and more of my Buddie meta and content in my pinned post. xoxox

#911 spoilers #911 #911 abc #911abc #911 on abc #911onabc #evan buckley #eddie diaz #911 meta #chimney han #maddie buckley #bobby nash #tommy kinard #911reactions #9-1-1 #henren #madney #118 firefam #fire family #hen wilson

[shepherds-of-haven]

Sorry if this has already been asked before, but have you ever thought about writing a sequel to SoH? I know you said it would be a stand-alone book, but I think a sequel where we explore different continents would be extremely cool. I just love these character so much and idk if I’m ready to say goodbye. I know we still have a bit left but still…

Hi there, this message has been sitting in a long queue of messages I've fallen behind on answering for a while now, but I just wanted to say thank you for taking the time to send it! It ended up being extremely thought-provoking for me, and you may have single-handedly made me reconsider my stance on a Shepherds sequel! XD

I always planned on this entry being a standalone game, though I was toying with the idea of eventually writing a sequel that follows a separate cast of characters (aka different protagonist and companions, though with room for potential cameos with the old characters). Pretty much like how Dragon Age does it! I won't go into the potential plot details now, but I was thinking it might take place sometime between 10-15 years in the future, and it would follow "a new generation" of Shepherds in a different locale. I've sort of hazily cobbled together ideas for the story/main premise, but companions outside of the main protagonist have eluded me at the moment--I really need to focus on this game, its DLC, and my next book first, so I haven't given it too much thought!

However, your comment has unearthed some feelings I've been having about a potential sequel, too! It's hard for me to feel like I'd be ready to say goodbye to the cast, as well... It's so easy for me to write them because they've been in my head for so many years, and starting an adventure in the world of Blest with different and new characters admittedly feels a bit strange. It's like having to hang back a grade while all of your friends graduate high school and then looking around at the incoming freshman class like "welp, I guess you guys are my friends now! 😒" lol. I'm torn on the issue: I don't want to not challenge myself or refuse to move out of my comfort zone as a writer--in short, I don't want to be the kind of writer who recycles the same characters and material because doing something new is daunting to me, and I don't want you all to feel like I'm making endless sequels/trying to recapture old magic and should just move on to something new, either--but I do love my cast and I'm not sure yet if I should definitively say, "No, their chapter is done with this game and it's on to the next!", because I can see so many adventures happening to them even after this story is over!

The problem lies with endings--there are so many different endings planned for this game that I hesitate in treating any of them as the true or canonical one, but otherwise trying to account for all of them in a sequel feels quite impossible to accomplish when I wasn't planning on a continuation--along with other logistical concerns that I can't get into at the moment. Like, what if you end the game with all of the Shepherds except Halek dead? What if your friend ends the game with all of them alive, but the MC is dead? This game alone is already 1 million words, but a direct sequel would probably wrack up hundreds of thousands of variations based on all of these choices in its first chapter alone! 🤔

That's why I figure DLC is the happy medium here: you can expand on or create new content and adventures for the characters, but slot them into the timeline wherever you wish, like in between Chapter 7 and 8, etc. And episodic adventures might keep things small and streamlined enough that I can update them more consistently, rather than hacking away at one giant sequel game!

Aaaaaanyway... All this is to say: I have a lot to think about! Absolutely nothing has been decided yet (not even close), but these are just some of the things I've had rattling around in my head. Thank you again for your sweet and honest words: I'm glad you're so fond of these characters and would miss them. I would, too! But whatever ends up happening, I know this game won't be the last time we see them. :)

Thanks again!

#Shepherds of Haven #sequel #FAQ #spoilers #mild #me #personal #writing #it's pretty much a dragon age vs mass effect scenario #if you know what I mean :')

[drabbles-mc]

Tailed

Happy Lowman x F!Reader

For Day 3 of @whumpril's 2023 Challenge: rope burns/knife to throat/"hold still"

Warnings: 18+, angst, injury, murder, language

Word Count: 2.5k

A/N: It's been a minute since I've written for Happy, I feel like. I love this dude. I think he deserves a woman who is willing to kill for him idk.

SOA Taglist: @espieviolet99 @littlekittymeow @chibsytelford @anditsmywholeheart @i-just-read-stuff @justreblogginfics @buckybarneshairpullingkink @paintballkid711 @jitterbugs927 @fanfic-n-tabulous @mijagif @frattsparty @winchestershiresauce @beardburnsupersoldiers @choochoo284 @artemiseamoon @nessamc @garbinge @passionatewrites @camelia35 (If you want to be added to any of my taglists, please let me know!)

The bag that had been over his head for a while now didn’t bode well for him. The ropes that were binding and ripping the skin of his wrists and ankles didn’t exactly spell out good news for him either. He wasn’t too worried, though. It was concerning, sure, but it was far from the first time he’d found himself in circumstances like this. Knowing him, it probably wouldn’t be the last either.

He had a gut feeling that whoever it was that had snagged him, and whatever their issues were with him, weren’t exactly related to the club. It was no secret that the MC had its fair share of enemies, and that particular laundry list of people would’ve been a good place to start, but as far as Happy knew he was alone. And none of the people who had captured him had called anyone. If it was something to do with the MC, someone would’ve asked him about it or made some sort of phone call by this point, but there was nothing. He wondered if the club even realized yet that he had been snatched up.

Whoever these people were, they definitely wanted him for personal reasons. Happy didn’t find that to be surprising in the slightest either. With all the people he knew and the things he’d done, he’d built up quite the roster of people who would like to see him dead or dying.

No one had said anything to him since he got thrown into what he was assuming was a van of some kind. He was sitting upright so he knew that they hadn’t tossed him in the trunk of some car, and the fact that there was a cushion underneath him let him know that he wasn’t just getting tossed into the back of some U-Haul. None of those details helped him figure out who had him and why.

Since no one said anything to him, he didn’t say anything to them. He wasn’t like Tig—he wasn’t in the habit of being chatty and making things worse. Sometimes his dedication to silence also made things worse, but it wasn’t quite the same.

Happy had no concept of time as they continued to drive to wherever their mystery destination was. He could hear the murmurs of the people in the car but they weren’t talking loud enough for him to make anything out. He listened for a GPS, or even to try and catch one of them giving directions to the other, but there was nothing. The entire time he was waiting and listening, he was trying to work at the ropes around his wrists. He could feel it ripping at his skin, but he still kept at it. Again, it wasn’t the worst pain he had ever endured. It surely wouldn’t be as bad as whatever was going to ensue once he actually got his hands free.

He just started feeling like he was making a little bit of progress with it when the van made a sharp right turn with no warning at all. Happy grunted as he tipped over in the seat, quickly scrambling to try and get himself upright again. He got an assist that was more hurtful than it was helpful, feeling someone ball their fist into the back of his shirt and push him upright and directly against the side of the van with more roughness than necessary.

“What the fuck was that?!” the man next to him yelled to the driver. It was the most Happy had heard out of anyone aside from their grunts and curses since they captured him.

“Got a tail,” another man, one Happy assumed was the driver, said back to them. “Trying to lose them.”

“By turning and almost going through a fucking building?!”

“Don’t be so dramatic.”

The man next to him huffed. “Who’s tailing us anyway?”

“White Chevy. Two cars back.”

Happy started laughing at that—he couldn’t help himself. The club might not have known that he was MIA yet, but of course you did. He should’ve seen that coming.

The man balled his fist into Happy’s shirt, yanking him so that he was face-to-face with him. Even though Happy couldn’t see him through the dark fabric of the hood covering his head, he could still feel the man’s nose pressing against his own.

“Who the fuck is following us?”

“I don’t know,” Happy replied, “I can’t see them.”

He felt the pressure of a knife being pressed against his throat. “Who the fuck is it?!”

Happy remained silent, and the man pressed the blade a little harder into the column of his throat. Happy felt the slight pull and the residual sting of the knife breaking the skin on his neck. It wasn’t a bad cut, not deep enough to be an imminent issue, but it was a promising threat that things were going to get worse if these guys didn’t get answers.

“Someone who is gonna be a real fucking problem for you guys if they get you.”

“Fuck me,” the man next to him grumbled.

The answer must’ve been satisfactory enough, because he pulled the blade away from Happy’s throat. It was a relief, but most because Happy didn’t trust the guy next to him to have a steady hand and if the driver made another sharp turn it was going to be game over very quickly.

“What do you wanna do?” the third guy finally spoke up loud enough for Happy to be able to hear him.

There was something familiar about the guy’s voice. Happy couldn’t quite place it, but he definitely knew it. Whoever the man riding shotgun was, he was the one who must’ve had the vendetta against Happy. He didn’t know who he was or what the vendetta was, and honestly he didn’t particularly care. Happy just wanted all of this to be over with. He was much more certain that things would go his way and that he would live to fight another day now that he knew that you were tailing them.

“I don’t know,” the driver said as he made another turn. “We just, we gotta lose ‘em.”

Happy laughed. “Good luck.”

The remark was met with the guy next to him slamming the side of his head into the side of the van. It was worth it. For a moment Happy understood why Tig was the way he was.

Happy was still working against the binds on his wrists but at this point it felt like it was no use. He was better off waiting for you to sink your teeth into these guys and free him rather than trying to wriggle out himself. It clearly wasn’t working anyway.

A few more minutes ticked by, filled with chaotic turns and the driver slamming on the gas. Finally, though, he said, “I think we’re in the clear.”

All three of the men let out sighs of relief, but Happy knew that they were speaking too soon. Anyone else in his position might’ve been disheartened, but he knew that they weren’t going to get rid of you that easily. You might not have been right behind them anymore, but you definitely weren’t gone.

As if you had been reading his thoughts, the van came to a screeching halt. Happy and the other man in the seat row with him toppled forward, smacking against the seats in front of them. He heard the thudding of the man riding shotgun slamming his hands against the dash to brace themselves. All four of them were cursing as they tried to get themselves right again. Happy didn’t know if being completely in the dark made it harder or easier to do that.

“Son of a bitch!” the man riding shotgun yelled out.

Happy heard the guy next to him take a deep breath, most likely gearing up for some snide comment or more cursing, but he never got the chance as someone started shooting. Happy heard the first two hit the glass of the windshield and he immediately sunk down in his seat. It had to be you. He heard the guys firing back from inside the van, and he did what little he could do given his current circumstances and he threw his body against that of the man sitting next to him. He was rewarded with the sound of the man’s gun clattering to the floor and the guy cursing as he set himself loose on Happy, grabbing him and landing whatever blows he could as the gunfire continued.

Happy was as defenseless as he’d ever been with his hands bound behind his back and his head still covered with the hood. He was trying to kick but his ankles being tied made that difficult too. He tried to squirm and keep moving, anything to keep the hits from landing directly.

Even with all the chaos, it was impossible to miss the sound of a bullet burying itself into someone’s skull. When it happened, the entire van was still and silent for all of a couple seconds before the chaos picked back up and was even more intense.

A few moments after that, there was the sound of the vehicle doors being ripped open. There was screaming and grunting and gunshots, and Happy was just hoping that you were coming out on the winning end of it all.

“Get on the fucking ground!” you yelled as you put a bullet into the kneecap of the man that you’d forcefully pulled out of the passenger seat.

Happy had never been so relieved to hear your rage. He was so distracted by the sound of you that when he heard the back door of the van open and someone grab onto him, he automatically assumed it was another threat. If it wasn’t you that was getting him out, he couldn’t help but to think that it was someone else who had the intention of hurting him.

He thrashed as much as he could until the person spoke up. “Hap, shit, stop, it’s me,” Juice was trying to cut the ropes on Happy’s wrists, or at least pull the hood off his head, but the constant movement made both of those things difficult.

Juice’s voice wasn’t the one that Happy was expecting to hear, but it still got him to stop fighting against the assistance. There was the sound of another gunshot and then Juice finally pulled the hood off so that Happy could see. The sun was blinding, a jarring shift from the hours of darkness he’d just endured, but he wasn’t upset about it. The first thing he saw was the man that Juice had shot and killed slumped in the back seat. Once he realized that he wasn’t going to be an immediate threat, he turned his head, looking around for you as he squinted against the harsh light.

That’s when he saw you, leaning over the man who had been sitting in the passenger seat. You’d shot out both of the guy’s legs. You had your knee pinned to his chest as you leaned over him, the mouth of your gun pressed harshly beneath the man’s chin. Even though there was distance between you, Happy could see the way you were breathing heavily, he could feel the rage coming off of you.

Even though he knew that Juice was trying to free him, Happy was still having a hard time sitting still to let it happen when he knew that you were so close. Juice huffed in annoyance behind him as he tried to do his job without slicing open one of Happy’s wrists in the process. “Hold still for five seconds, Happy. Seriously.”

None of Happy’s attention was focused on himself or Juice anymore though, not when he could hear the conversation happening a few feet away.

“Who the fuck are you?” the man spat out.

You wanted to make a comment to the effect of, “I should be the one asking you that,” but then you realized that you didn’t particularly care who this guy was. You didn’t really care why he wanted Happy. You knew perfectly well that the man you were with had more enemies than smiley face tattoos. It wasn’t surprising that he had landed himself in hot water.

Juice had cut the ties around Happy’s wrists and was just about to be done with the ones around his ankles when you pulled the trigger on your gun one more time, causing the man’s head to snap back as the bullet went clean through it from bottom to top.

“Fuck,” Juice said with a shake of his head as he finally cut through the last of the rope.

The second Happy was free, he was up on his feet and making his way over to you. He wasn’t running, but you could see the determination in his stride and the set of his shoulders. When he got over to you, he held out his hand to help you up from your position of kneeling on the man’s dead body. You tucked your gun back into its holster before slapping your hand into his, both of you tightening your grips as he helped pull you back up onto your feet.

The second you were completely upright, Happy stepped in like he was going to kiss you, but you stopped him as you pressed your palm against your chest. He opened his mouth to ask you what was going on, but you quickly moved your hand up and cupped his chin in your hand before tilting his head up slightly. You saw the cut running along the side of his throat and you frowned.

Once Happy realized what you were doing and looking at, his body relaxed a little bit. He almost started laughing. All the things that had happened in the last few hours and this was what you were getting hung up on. “I’m fine.”

You rolled your eyes as you let go of his chin. “Of course you’re going to say that.”

The two of you were about to start getting into it in the middle of all the carnage you’d caused when Juice interjected himself into your conversation. “Hey, guys, we gotta…we gotta go.”

Just as he said that, you heard the sirens in the distance. That was fair, and expected after all the gunshots. You pointed at Happy accusingly. “This conversation isn’t over.”

Happy knew better than to argue with you. “Alright.”

It was a quiet drive home. You dropped Juice back off at his place with a quick thank you and a promise to reach out to him later. As the two of you drove back to Happy’s you could feel him looking at you from the passenger seat but you didn’t say anything about it. You knew that he probably had his fair share of questions, and you certainly had your own, but right now all you wanted to do was get back home. All of the questions and the conversations could wait until later, preferably until tomorrow. You didn’t say anything as you drove, but it didn’t stop you from reaching over and resting your hand on top of his on the console, careful not to touch the scraped and bloodied parts of his wrists where the rope had been digging into him only a little while before.

#whumpril #whumpril2023 #whumprilday3 #rope burns #knife to throat #hold still #soa #sons of anarchy #soa imagine #sons of anarchy fanfiction #sons of anarchy imagine #happy lowman fanfiction #happy lowman x you #happy lowman x reader #happy lowman #my writing #fanfiction #drabblesmc

[emsgoodthinkin]

the band-aid to my wounds

Older!Eddie Munson x naive!Fem!reader - eventual twins Steve Harrington x reader x Kurt Kunckle series| pt 1 | pt 2 | pt 3.. TBC

Summary: After stumbling into an old barn after being stranded by your freshly new ex boyfriend, you wake up strangely in a room..that isn't yours..

warnings: talks of cheating, abuse, angst, slight stockholm syndrome at a glance, anxiety, childhood trauma, parent problems; daddy issues, eventual smut, cursing, drinking, smoking, perviness, slight dub-con, miscommunications, blood mention

word count: idk? 1.5k?

previously: 'your stomach knots when he calls you sweetheart.

okay maybe he harmless, just very kindly harmless?

"Here" he throws his arm out, "I'm Eddie, Eddie Munson."

You look down at his hands

rings.

Looking back up at him with a tight lipped smile, taking his hand to shake it aggressively, "y/n."

"Wow y/n, gotta grip there, im assuming somebody properly taught you to shake hands with a someone?"

what?

how did he know that

its probably a common thing to be taught

"Uh yeah thanks.. my dad actually taught me, said it would make me look knowledgeable at job interviews"

He chuckles throwing his head back slightly, "well i dont know about that but definitely does look impressive to some"

I nod not knowing what to say

my stomach growls loudly

he looks down with wide eyes

"Sheesh, are ya in the mood for some breakfast? We actually made quite a lot of and have left overs i can rewarm for ya--

"whos we?"

He smiles softly "Here" -he walks to the door frame turning back to say," ill introduce you to my farm workin family"

family? ok.. that makes me feel a little better to know im not alone

"Sure" i say walking out of the bedroom door with him

getting to the bottom of the stairs--

damn i was carried up these things?

Spotting a blond and a read head; why are they dressed the same?

probably like close or something, ive done that with my best friend

Eddies voice breaking you from your thoughts

"So.. y/n this is Chrissy and Sarah.”

"Hi.." I say quietly but still politely

"Wow! the blonde says getting up to touch my hair; I flinch slightly but let her continue."Your hair looks so soft.. its full too, Sarah come feel-

Now watching the red head scoot on over to me, also having a feel of my hair "oh yeah, your hair reminds me of my mamas, it was also so healthy like this-

"Oh, where is she ? you ask

"She left me."

I swallow automatically feeling horrible "o-oh, im sorry about that

"Eh, that's okay Sarah says surprisingly not sad, " I found a better family being here on the farm"

"wait what do you--

I get interrupted.

At the corner of your eyes, hearing a new male voice, spotting him

damn whos that?

ive never seen such hair on a dude that looks so.. healthy?

"Steve!!" Chrissy yells making you jump ,"come feel y/ns hair its just bout as soft as yours, if not softer"

you look at her with wide eyes saying "Oh thats ok"-

by the time you’ve finished your sentence Steves making it all the way over to you

"Ooh this is soft, very very soft actually."

you look up to him immediately taking in his features

moles, pretty eyes…wow his hair does look good.. i kinda wanna touch it--

NO! dumbass

snapping out of it, you hear steves voice again but his mouths not moving

am i having a stroke?

“Kurt, Kurtie come meet y/n”

who the hell is kur—

I look over seeing the same face as Steve’s

oh fuck theres another one?

“Hi y/n im Kurt, Steves twin brother”, he grabs your hand to shake and you’re just standing there with amazement not replying

he looks.. the exact same as Steve but something is different..

his hair.. a bit more flat..unwashed maybe?

damn he looks good though

feeling a hand graze your back, forgetting to breathe

“Miss y/n ya feelin alright?”

It’s Eddies voice, and hand that clears your head

“ Oh..uh yeah, sorry guess I was a bit stunned to see that uh Kurt? and Steve look exactly alike” I say slightly chuckling and finally turning around to look at Eddie

shit

its much brighter in here

Eddie. so this is what he looks like

his hair in a low ponytail, tanktop covefred by a flannel..tattoos? dirty overalls and are those buny slippers?

he catches your gaze to the floor and the confusion on you face

he laughs. “Oh these are Chrissy’s bedroom shoes, havent put my boots on yet and our dog chewed mine all to hell” he smiles widely

looking back at him, “Oh no it looks fine to me..”

you melt at the warmth of his smile

are those dimples. damnit thats my weakness

“ I got your food warmed up for you”

“oh cool, t-thank you” i say following him to the kitchen table, i turn back to give a slight wave to rest of the house then back to following Eddie

——————

“She seems nice, dosent she? Sarah says outloud

“Yeah and so pretty too, kinda jelous of her hair” Chrissy states

“Now dear—, Kurt starts “you know jelously is never good for the heart”

“ I know” Chrissy says “i dont mean it as a bad thing..its like i want her hair type of thing i promise and besides, Steve you felt her hair, its soft like yours wouldnt ya say?”

“Yes, its real soft honey” he replies licking his lips as he looks in your direction from the livingroom. “..real soft he mumbles to himself heading to the sink

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After sitting down to with Eddie looking down at my plate theres a biscuit, eggs, bacon and fresh cut fruit

“Looks good” i say glacing at him with a small smile

“Thanks” he grins, watching you eat lookin around to see if anyones around

“Now i wont push, but do you wanna tell me why and how i found you in my barn asleep?”

I swallow hard on my strawbeery a bit too harshly coughing, grabbig the water that was also placed on the table, sipping it

clearing your throat looking nervously. he notices.

“Its okay, i wont tell the others if you would like this to be private.. but it is my farm and i just need to know whata young lady like you was cuddling up in my barn

nodding understaningly “yeah no, i totally understand, a few miles after walking”—

—“you walked here?” he asks worried

“Yeah, it was fine ive walked in the dark plenty of times. It doesn’t scare me” he nods for you to continue. “Me and my probably now ex boyfried got into a big fight, found out he cheated he called me crazy when the proof was physically all over his neck,—“ you dont notice you’re just rambiling now—

—and he wanted to be a dick and leave me on the street and just.. left! can you belive that shit..asshole”

—oh shit sorry” i cover my mouth

“Thats okat sweetheart i cuss all the time”

theres that gut wrenching twist from that name again.

“Uh, may i ask, you said "probably" broke up? are you not certain?”

“Oh no i am, i dont stay with cheaters no matter how long we’ve been together”

“ And how long is that?”

“6 years..”

his eyes widen and shakes his head dissaprovingly, “Thats alot time hun, I am sorry about that”

“Eh, his actions over the years start to make sense to me now.. its honestly not surprising he did cheat..makes me wonder how many times he truly has..” you say pushing your food around shrugging

“Eddie reaches over placing his hand over yours soothingly, catching your line

I get chills from the warmth and rough feeling of his hand, finally looking at his face in full—

how did i not see those before? asking myself

his..his eyes their so beauifu—

“Hey yn/!”

both Eddie and you separate hands, jumping back at Chrissy’s sudden surpise

“Y-yes?” you say slighlty annoyed

i kinda miss the warmth of his hand

bitch, calm down you have a boyfeind

no the fuck i dont

“What can i do for you Chrissy?”

“..well, i wanted to ask if you could braid?” she say sitting down at the table beside you

“Yeah, i can why do you ask?”

she sighs, “nobody in the house knows how to braid but Eddie, and his dry hands yank my baby hairs too much”—

“Hey! its not my fault” Eddie interjects

“ I gave you lotion for it ya know”

“Yeah you did, and i keep forgetting to use it” you chuckle causing them both to smile at each other and then at you

“was wondering when you’re done and if you wouldn’t mind..if you could braid my hair?”

i mean.. shes harmless its just hair

“Yes, I was just finsihing up anyways”

“Chris? what do we say when we ask for somethig?” Eddie arches his brow at her

“Sorry.. please?”

your eyes slighly scrunch, “thats okay I was going to anyways” i say back to Eddie

“ I know hun, just know its good to have manners is all” I nod at is reply turning to braid the back of her hair, seeing Eddie at the corner of your eye, to take your cleared plate. you stop him

“Oh i could have taken that for you “ saying looking up at him walk to the kicten

“Thats alright, i was headed this way anyway” he says winking at you before clearing the room

----------

Walking back to the sink Eddie spots the twins, emptying your plate turning to make conversation. “So what do you think Ed?” Steve asks “Yeah, whats your thoughs on y/n?” Kurt adds—“she looks nice,—and very sweet too” Steve says looking at Eddie, then all 3 of them look back at you, admirng you braid Chrissy’s hair

“Yeah, she is a sweet one isn’t she?” real..sweet thinks Eddie snapping out of stare

“Hey, aren’t yall suppsoed to be rollin them hay bells we got extra from Rick yesterday, its gonna storm I’m pretty sure, and i dont need them gettin all soggy”

Both Kurt and Steve groan, nodding heading out the door grabbing their hats on their way out.

After finishing Chrissy’s hair and her thankinng you with a hug, skipping out, I make my way over to the kitchen spotting a phone, then Eddie beside it,

“Can i use your phone?, I think it was about time i get out of your hair and find a way home”

“Sure darlin, but it may not work, the service out here is very poor”

you nod and he moves letting you continue with your task

dialing the only person you can think to call.

fuck.

Ashton.

1 dial, 2 dial, 3 times trying his phone you exhale agitated

maybe he can take me home?

“Mr. Eddie?”

going to find where he went seeing him standing and turning up the weather channel hearing:

Today the forcast shows severe thunderstorms and hail later today at 2pm–

I glance at the clock on the wall reading 1:55pm

shit

-and 2 tornado watches. There hasn’t been a tornado in Hawkins in 6 years, the dry weather must be causing this it. the woman jokes on the televishon, while you trun around to go look outside at the clouds.

Eddie watches and follows along, trying not to scare you, walking out of the backdoor also

“By the looks on your face im assuming nobody answered huh?”

“hm? looking back from the sky to him, —“oh no.. he didn’t of course he didn’t, prick i utter.

“ I’m assuming your ex boyfriend?”

“Ashton yeah, called 3 times probably out fucking another whore” you say spit vomiting cuss words

“Gosh, sorry! I know i have anasty mouth”

his cheeks flush at your statement, “no, its quite alright sweetheart , im not judging you”

you nod giving a tight lipped smile, looking at the ground not knowing what do now—

“ I can try and take ya home? you have anyone else who can”—

interrupting him, knowing hes probably talking about your parents

—“my parents? yeah no thats a joke..”

He comes up closer with a hand on your shoudler, which you eye subtlely “May i ask what happend with them? if you dont mind?”

“Its fine, my dads an abusive drunk and my step mom.. shes every bad word I could think of right now”—

“Wheres your real mom?”

damn so may questions

you shift your eyes uncomfortably he notices hes gone too far

“ I-im sorry, I keep just a nit picking arent i..?”

“No, its a funny story..shes actually married to my boyfriends father”

“Oh” he says in actual shock

“ I know right” reading his face. “ it’s a crazy story, maybe another time”—

so you want another time too? He thinks

—“and by looks at the sky”—

both jumping at the sound of rumbled thunder and instant rain and hail falling out if th sky

“Jesus Christ!”

I hear from afar turing to see both Steve and Kurt holing ass back to the house with soaked shirts

oh god

making way for them to get inside along with Eddie and you—

“Well.. sorry miss y/n i dont think its too safe to attempt to drive you home right now”

my heart pangs with a odd feeling. “Thats alright its safer to wait, right?”

“..Right, welp, just you make yourself at home until then and let me know if you need anything okay sweetheart?”

“Y-yes, I will thank you mr Eddie”

“Just Eddie” he smiles at the name walking off, leaving you here standing by yourself, taking in a real look at the house, spotting the girls, choosing to go take a seat with them on the couch

what the hell am i supposed to do!?

arguing with myself glancing to the right, spotting the twins with Eddie working on some door frame; catching him smile deeply at you

I gulp giving him a quick smile then turning my attention back to whatever’s on the tv screen, in silence.

Reblogs appreciated :>

#older!eddie x reader #eddie munson x fem!reader smut #steve harrington x reader #the band aid to my scars #kurt kunkle x reader #stockholm syndrome #daddy!eddie munson #daddy issues #naive reader #eddie munson x steve harrington #steddie x reader #kurtsworld96 #joseph quinn #joe keery #perv!eddie munson #dilf!eddie munson #perv!steve harrington #tw abandonment #chrissy cunningham

[hippogriffs-and-alicorns]

I think about the excessive g5 hate from adults sometimes and its like....

Listen, I understand the anger. You watched g4 and it was part of you and now it's moved on and you're slightly upset, but something I feel like the g4-stanning fans forget is that....they're not the show's target anymore. When mlp g4 started out, it was for little kids. It was still for little kids when it ended. Nothing is wrong with liking a kids show, but when you start throwing fits and swearing over new designs and demanding they change it when you are not longer the target audience....idk, I just don't understand I suppose. I grew up on g4 and ADORED it, and I like g5 just as much. Ofc I'm not saying people can't dislike g5, I'm just saying it's hard to wrap my head around why people hate it so much. Because you can be in the fanbase of a kids show, but it's not for you, it's for the little kids who will buy the toys and beg their parents to get the services to watch the show. It's for the new generation, heck, the movie was CALLED "A New Generation". I get the frustration, but the fact of the matter is that you've grown up and the show is no longer for you. You can't demand Hasbro to change the plot or designs of g5 just because you don't like it, because you're not their target audience anymore. The younger kids of today are. The most common issue I see is people complaining about Sunny becoming an alicorn "too quickly". The thing is: Sunny became an alicorn because she literally put an end to hatred between the three pony kinds, she made ACTUAL HISTORY, she changed her world forever, and I feel like restoring the peace Twilight once upheld was pretty deserving of alicornhood? Sunny didn't make the races hate each other, that happened long before she was born, she saved her kind and restored magic to ponies everywhere...I feel like that's a pretty deserving thing to become alicorn over. If she went through the exact same long and drawn-out arc Twilight did, it would get boring because we've done this before. We've been here before. G5 put a new spin on the show that honestly was really cool to see. If it went with Twilight's same story people would just hate it for copying g4. I just feel like maybe...agree to disagree? Dislike g5 but stop putting intense and malicious hate in the main tag, stop commenting on posts/tiktoks/whatever talking about how you miss g4 and how stupid you think g5 is...Twilight's entire mission was peace and friendship, she wouldn't hate Sunny for restoring that peace. She was the princess of friendship. I don't get why people think she'd want to kill Sunny for restoring her legacy... In short: Let people enjoy things and try to be at least somewhat polite about it, it's not worth getting red hot heated over the pony cartoon, just leave everyone to their own devices. Shake hands over liking the separate versions (or both!) and call it a day.

*(PLEASE don't fight or argue or come after me in the comments or reblogs, I'm not trying to start discourse, I'm just calmly stating my opinion and expressing my confusion. Once again, I have no issue if people dislike g5. I just don't understand the full-blown all-caps anger coming from adults over this children's media and am expressing those feelings.)

#mlp #mlp fim #mlp ang #mlp mym #mlp g5 #mlp friendship is magic #my little pony friendship is magic #my little pony #my little pony a new generation #mlp a new generation #another argument I've seen is that they do things just to sell toys- #my siblings in starlight........that was why mlp was made in the first place #to. to sell the pony toys. they have ALWAYS been trying to sell you toys.

[clambuoyance]

ngl I know nothing ab your DC blorbos except they're gay and cool or something Idk I just think they're neat... I'd ask what comics I could read ab them being super blorbo-y but Idk...

OKAY so there’s a lot of characters in dc but the ones I draw/talk about the most are these group of friends!! They feature in Young Justice 1998, Teen Titans 2003, and Young Justice 2019, as well as having their own comics and other appearances :)

each comic run has different vibes but my personal favorite is yj1998 bc I like its wacky and zany vibes. It was not my first comic though, and it’s a little older so it might be hard to understand or read if it’s your first time reading comics like this, and again it is old soooo some stuff does Not age well such as certain jokes or depictions and it is of course not all perfect but overall I love it and think it has a lot of heart

I think i have a lot of fun with it bc it feels so…animated? And it has funny slapstick humor. Honestly I probably like it bc it makes me laugh the same way ninjago makes me laugh…a group of 4+ friends that have cute dynamics with each other and just Being Silly Together. I really don’t know how to explain it but between all three runs, I can see yj1998 in my head the most as a wacky animated show with exaggerated bouncy animation idk so that’s part of the fun for me. I think the moment I realized this was going to be a long term emotional investment was When I read the issue where they randomly end up on a planet and have to play baseball bc I am a SUCKERRR for baseball shenanigans

But yeah the group starts out with Bart, Tim, and Kon in JLA: A world without Grownups, and they just have a good trio dynamic 🙏 the banter between all three is so good 🤩and I liked seeing their friendship develop throughout yj1998 too! Especially for Tim, with his hesitancy at the beginning.They weren’t without conflict ofc but that adds to why I like them bc eventually they became besties for life. They are also quickly joined by others but the main one that stays w the group through all three runs is Cassie Sandsmark , aka Wonder Girl ii.

But yeah I guess some things I like are the way they actually Hang out? like they will do camping trips or go to the mall and games together etc etc, but there will be parts that feel more serious while never losing that humorous tint to it. For some examples, I love how Tim tries to be a leader in the beginning, but then one arc shows just how much Cassie is more fitting for it, and how they bond over Leader things like how hard it is to tell Bart what to do and then will share a really nice hug 🥺, and I love Cassie and Cissie’s relationship a LOT because they sometimes misunderstand each other but clearly care for each other (they aren’t canon but in my heart they are.) I also like Tim and kon’s build towards understanding and friendship for a similar reason, and cissie and Anita also have a nice development with each other, but yeah all the dynamics are just fun to think about tbh 🤷🏻‍♀️ I am pointing at them eagerly and going “wow! Friendship!!”

And as for the guy I never shut up about…well that’s a whole thing I could ramble about but i became obsessed with him the moment he quoted Peter Pan while lamenting about how he was afraid his friends would leave him behind after several issues of him acting like Hot Shit and erm I’m predictable so it got to me 🙄 also he makes dumb jokes every second like he expects someone to laugh at them like he’s so dumb sometimes….anyways I do not want to ramble too much so I will get on with it

I was only familiar with his black tshirt look before, so when I first saw this goofy looking dumbass with a leather jacket and glasses and an earring I WAS LIKE “THATS SUPERBOY? THATS REAL?” and quickly became interested in the notion of a Superman associated hero wearing something like this bc I don’t think my brain ever considered the possibility before….also it is something I cannot explain some panels just activate my cuteness aggression 😔 I just think he’s really cute 🫶🫶🫶

#sorry for rambling and in a totally not concise way #dc #clam answers #young just us

[kiivg]

i looove the art u did of ur V in that hammock bed with the screens in the background and Jackie below, but what's ur V up to exactly? is he editing the recordings? whats his job?

.Tysm!!!! My V, Gianluca Vargas, is part of my 3Vs AU, so he’s not my main V canonically, but he’s probably the one I like playing the most because I get to run around in flashy suits and kiss Takemura 💋. My actual V is Gianluca’s ex, and Sunny’s half-sister (never going to play as her, I just need someone to be mean to Johnny, be hardcore pro-Arasaka, and then die at the end.)

.So his job is basically an AI (or digital idk) sex worker kind of thing, (idk if that’s what a Brain Dance is because they’re confusing af), where he basically controls a private area of the net that’s his own, and caters mostly to rich clientele. He has default programs that he’s made himself which the AIs run on and he can dip in and out to control them to make the whole situation more personal. On the picture he’s controlling LynchMO8 as his main, but he’s running three others at the same time, and recording BeccaMO6 for further purposes (maybe blackmail, maybe to sell on to others as a separate BD experience). Essentially, hardly anyone knows he’s the one who’s running the whole operation, and WHY would they, he’s a scumbag Valentino from The Glen harhar. Each one of the AIs has Cerdita tattooed however (that’s his left hand, which is basically an AI in its own right,) so it’s like his brand I guess? But I think I called his business Mañana Vices?

.Gianluca is also low-key obsessed with Delamain, and the way he controls and entire fleet of vehicles with little to no issue, (until the big old quest, which maybe I solely concentrated on so I could get all the dialogue of Delamain rediscovering everything again hehehe..) So he runs as many AIs as he can, and has five sockets in his head where he can jack straight into things. He’s never going to be Delamain (as much as he wants to be) but he’s going to keep trying.

.He’s definitely a skilled Netrunner, and the majority of his money came from hacking companies and stealing it, so he could support his sister as she went through the training to become a member of Trauma Team. But then he was like ���Huh I LIKE money” so he just kept stealing. He is the one who does all the netrunning in my 3Vs, like he helps to catch the Peter Pan guy for River, helps to interrogate Anders before Takemura shows up, actually probably does 80% of Takemura’s questline because V is too busy elsewhere.

.The link with Jackie is literally that Jackie was really close to V, and she and Gianluca were mostly sweethearts growing up and then she went corporate, and now they’re just friends with benefits. Which is basically if she needs something hacking, she’ll just rock up and things go from there. So him and Jackie are like acquaintances, but they’re close enough to just chill out together every so often, I don’t think he and Misty get along though since she read his tarot and hit a little too close to home. Plus I like to think that Gianluca has a dad who’s sweet on Mama Welles hehehe.

.Anyway, on the subject of Gianluca, here’s a little kind of smutty thing of him and Takemura 👹💋💕. (Also I’m posting off my phone so maybe the formatting is awful.).

When the knock came at the side of his van, Takemura was quick to gather his weapon, finger hovering over the trigger, concealed within the darkness of his vehicle. His mind had slipped elsewhere, thinking through the realities of what they were planning to do, what they had to do, and how it could very easily go so wrong. He keeps his mouth closed, trying to discern footsteps from the heavy patter of rain, waiting for the intruder to either pass along or open fire. There was every chance it was a drunkard in the night, and every other chance that it was a bounty hunter seeking his head. He steadies himself as he had been trained to do, slowing his breath, slowing his heart rate. It had been done a thousand times before, waiting to strike like a viper in the shadows.

The knock appears at his window, a pale shroud of a man slapping a flat palm against the dirtied glass. He points with a finger to the locking mechanism with the same hand, his other raised above his head, holding a jacket aloft to keep himself somewhat dry. The man knocks again, more urgently, gesturing somewhat wildly to the rain that pelts him from above, before trying the door handle futilely. Takemura can see the man’s lips moving, glinting in reflected city light; but the words he could not hear.

It takes a moment, far longer than just a moment, for Takemura’s eyes to adjust to the way the lights of Night City dazzle upon the pale shroud, illuminating him in a halo of advertising pinks and purples, to recognise him; V’s netrunner. The one she has saved in her holo as “Gives Good Head”. A fact Goro had not wanted to know, and yet, it was a thought hooked into the back of his head every time he had seen the man. With a golden triangle tattooed onto plump lips, a set of golden teeth behind them, always fiddling with something; a cigarette, the nails of his organic hand, the straw of an ungodly sweetened drink he had already drank and thrown away, putting anything he could between those lips to keep them busied.

Takemura lets him in.

A button pressed and the door unlocks, he leans over to pull the handle, unlatching and leaving it open just a touch. His weapon is slipped quietly into his holster, safety back on, and he removes what debris he can from the passenger seat. Old papers from a previous owner, a corporate magazine with Yorinobu’s face plastered across it, the wrappers of several burgers he would not willingly admit to eating. There is a fumble as the man, Luca, climbs in, jostling a vinyl bag into Takemura’s lap, and slamming the van door behind him with a heavy sigh. The bottom of it is dripping with rainwater, no doubt left on the floor as he had tried to beg his way into the safety of the vehicle.

Gianluca’s cheeks are flushed, from the cold or the rain, but with the heavier breaths Takemura assumes he had been running. “Were you followed?” He asks, fingers pressed to the ignition. He glances in the mirrors, and then in the screens that show him the rear of the vehicle and the sides consecutively. Nothing but the rain and all that accompanies it.

“What? No, it’s fucking raining,” Gianluca gestures to the outside, “mierda.” He squirms in the passenger seat, attempting to swipe the rain from his impromptu umbrella-cum-jacket, soaked through, and trying to pull the fabric of his slacks away from where they cling to his skin, also soaked through. If Takemura was a man of lesser standing it would be hard to tear his eyes away from the sight, and yet, he doesn’t, knowing that would be far more suspicious than simply staring. Rather he replaces his confusion with a frown, silently chastising the younger man for his shuffling and wiggling as he tries to readjust himself into a comfier situation.

Gianluca was wearing white. Or a close enough colour to it. In the low light of the rearview screen it looks green, and when an advert for Us Cracks billows brightly above Night City it turns pink. Yet it remains white in Takemura’s mind; white slacks, white jacket, white shirt; all wet and now significantly opaque, offset with black and gold waistcoat, tie and shoes. And with a glance down, black underwear, visible now, thanks to the sudden onset of heavy rain. If the man notices Takemura staring, he says nothing, only settles in his seat apologetically, trying to steady his uneven breaths.

“I bought coffee, and food,” he gestures to the bag, a peace offering, a patterned red thing, “I figured you should stop trying to find Japan in Night City, so I got patatas bravas, empanadas, tamales, and churros, for after.” He takes foil lined boxes out of the bag as he speaks, shaking each one to hear the rattle of food before he discerns what it is. It does not go unnoticed that the churros are placed closer to himself than Takemura, the man’s incessant sweet tooth staking a claim on the sugary snacks. Each box leaves a small ring of steam on the inside window, fighting valiantly against the chill of the weather outside.

“I am not hungry.” Takemura lied, returning his gaze to the building opposite, thinking back to the task at hand, and not of Gianluca’s spread position as he plucks at the fabric between his thighs. From the way he sits, each inch of clothing is either a creased hill of bunched fabric, or a damp puddle of tattooed skin blended beneath a synthetic silk mix.

He glances back to Gianluca when the man lurches forward, tugging off the waistcoat and unknotting his tie. He hangs his jacket from the back of his headrest, the van rocking as he turns to check and see there was nothing back there that would cause it damage. His waist coat is next, and his tie is rolled up, held in his tight fists until water droplets run down into the cuffs of his shirt, and then placed on the shoulder of his seat. Part of Takemura wants to chastise the man for taking over a space that was not his, and the other part, the part which likes knowing the three words V had resigned the man to, likes watching tattooed hands run across the damp shirt, wrinkles smoothed, pulled taut and damp over hardening nipples.

“You don’t have to eat now, Takemura, but it’s good food, and I promised abuelita I’d, you know,” he gestures limply and without definition, grabbing the bag and setting the boxes back inside. He hesitates with the small box of churros, lamenting the treat he would have to leave in the hands of another man. It’s something to distract him, focusing on the smell of the food, and then the strong bitterness of brewed coffee as Gianluca pulls the decorated flask out. Without his optics he cannot smoothly translate the words carved in Spanish, but the small upturn of Luca’s lips tells him they were written fondly.

It’s more of a planned picnic than an impromptu dash around the streets for something that resembles a meal. Homemade, Takemura thinks, a twitch in his stomach that can’t decide whether to swell with affection or curdle with jealousy. His own grandmother had raised him as a child, before Arasaka, and he can see love in the way Gianluca handles the boxes, the flask, the way he pours coffee from it and into the small cups. Abuelita, he thinks, trying to conjure an image that would suit the title, trying to figure out how Night City had bred a woman who would give her fully grown grandson, a thief, a ganger, and more even, a perfectly wrapped meal and send him out on his way knowing full well that he had his own concealed weapons at hand.

The coffee itself is stronger than he would have liked, and it burns a trail down his chest when he drinks it. Gianluca himself, drops in three pill capsules to his own, and they fizz as they disintegrate, black coffee now swirling with little flecks of pink and blue. A puddle of the night sky held in his palm. He declines one of them when Gianluca offers, smiling to himself when the man drops the fourth in; muttering to himself about how it is only sugar.

It is more than sugar, V had told him when they had met in Tom’s Diner, concentrated and synthetically made. Absurdly sweet, to the point that it made her gag when she had first tried one. Gianluca split the pills himself, one capsule held the contents of three. Different flavours to make one overall combination of saccharine granules. An abomination, Takemura had thought, wondering how he felt as if he could now smell that over the bitterness of his own drink.

“You have told your grandmother about me?” Takemura asks, glancing back at the red bag, placed closely in the rear of the van. How much? He wonders at first; Saburo-sama’s failed bodyguard, an Arasaka outlaw, a rat from Chiba 11 who was given everything and failed his only purpose.

“No,” Gianluca says, sighing as he swallows a gulp of coffee, shrugging as the warmth blooms in his chest too, “well, just a little.” His smile is coquettish as he glances over, cradling his plastic mug in hand, blowing the steam as it rises to his lips.

“You should not have done this, anyone who knows-” Takemura starts.

“Is at risk, si, si, I said you’re a friend of a friend who’s a little run down.” His worries are not dissuaded off by Gianluca’s limp wave, nor by the way he shrugs out his admittance. “Anyway, she’ll be pissed if you don’t try some.” He points a thumb at the food, raising his brows in a way that relayed his message in all seriousness.

For a moment Takemura feels a pang of something in his gut, a slight worry over disappointing the faceless figment of a grandmother of the man beside him, over being judged by the same woman. The pang sets in the scales of his stomach, balanced out by Gianluca’s behaviour, which tells him that the younger man had spoken of him fondly enough that said grandmother had made him the equivalent of a packed lunch. Or perhaps she was simply like that, perhaps Gianluca was simply like that. Helpful; and in Night City? The words don’t sit comfortably together.

“A friend of a friend?” He asks, sipping at his coffee, watching the way Gianluca swirls his own by tipping his wrist, stirring the sugar as he pours himself a second cup. Personally, he didn’t believe that friend of a friend described him accurately enough. He wasn’t friends with V. Their relationship was one of purely business. She had seen what had happened at Konpeki, and Takemura needed her statement. There was little more to it.

But Gianluca, he hadn’t been there. Takemura didn’t need the man. And yet, throwing him from his van hadn’t even crossed his mind. Granted, his mind could easily excuse it; Gianluca was an exceptional netrunner, the man had skills and a certain know-how of a great many things that neither V nor Takemura knew how to do. Even V had explained to him, if there was a way of getting Gianluca to the parade float without danger, he’d be able to hack it without the daemon that Takemura had purchased, and he’d probably do it faster than V could upload it. But he was a coward, his chosen implants spoke to that, and was mostly useless in a firefight.

He would be useful in other, more specific ways, is what V had told him, as she had first shared his contact information. Not that Takemura had been tech savvy enough to be able to change the name of him, and with his pride and previous blunders, hadn’t asked anyone to help him to do so.

So he remains, Gives Good Head.

And if Takemura had to explain that to anyone, he’d struggle beyond what was reasonable. Because there would be no way for him to know either way, despite the flirtatious nature of the man, despite the way he mouthed at everything and anything he could. Takemura couldn’t simply just ask; and there sits the struggling thought, because he didn’t know what he would ask, specifically. If he questioned the title, then Gianluca would either have to lie, or be believed to be lying, or demonstrate if the monicker lived up to standard.

“You did not mention V?” Takemura asks, holding his dwindling cup out to be refilled, staring at the black liquid as it decants, eyes flickering from it to Luca’s hand, to the damp collar of his shirt, to the way his hair dries awkwardly around the face. He can see the soft whirring of cybernetics on his pupils, a dimly lit gold as he runs through whatever data breach he explores.

“Why would I? She doesn’t like her, she’s not making any of this for someone like V,” he offers another smile, plump lips pulled taut, “just accept the food, Takemura, not everything needs to be dissected.” He holds up his own cup, tapping it against Takemura’s, before downing it himself. He hums in undecided agreement, staring at the steam that rises from his cup. Perhaps it did need dissecting. If Gianluca couldn’t hack the float by himself, more or less even have a reason to do so, why was he still here? Bringing coffee and food like this was something else, as if they weren’t scouting for information on the parade floats, as if he was a friend of a friend.

From the corner of his eye he can see Gianluca readjusting himself, pulling at the crotch of his slacks, picking at the damp fabric. Thumb held behind his belt as he stops it from digging into his gut, trying to relax and ignoring the squelch of wet fabric against wet fabric as he moves.

He was handsome, Takemura knew this, Takemura had seen this. Takemura knew that Gianluca also knew he was handsome too. It had been easy to see the way he had flirted with those around them, with street food vendors and passersby, with the NCPD when they got a little too suspicious, a tilt to his hips, a wink, his tongue pressing against that golden triangle. Like a peacock, he thought. Brightly fanned tail feathers like a shield around him. Takemura held reserve on it all, trying not to think of the contact on his holo, trying not to look when Gianluca raised his hips to pluck his slacks from where they uncomfortably cling to his arse.

“You and V have a history?” Takemura asks. He already knew, her holo contact, but there was more behind it. Which meant there was more to all this, and Gianluca was wrong; this did need to be dissected. Because if she was paying him, then that meant she might be paying others, and that was an endless list of people who might know where Takemura was. And if not that, then blackmail, if V had something to hold over Gianluca, surely the man, coward or not, would find a way out of the trap she had set for him.

“Si.” He admits, thumping back down into his seat with a bounce, angling himself to the side so he could look at Takemura head on. He sits on one side of his hips, legs crossed at the ankles, his clothes were drier now. Still damp, still smelling of Night City’s rain water, but less see-through, whiter now.

“If there is more to this, then I would like to know.” Takemura explains, his voice lowering a tone, trying to convey the words he didn’t want to speak. “If it could affect what we aim to do.” He adds.

“Are you asking professionally or…”

“Yes.” He says quickly, not wanting to entertain the idea of this being anything but business. There had been many within Arasaka’s training camps who had felled their own training over a lover, over quick trysts in silent corners. Takemura had not been one of them. Where the urge arose he squashed it down, and when he couldn’t deny himself any longer, when his body thrummed with arousal and desire, when heat and sex and lust dropped off of him like sweat, like an overfilled cup of coffee, like rainwater off a white suit, he pushed it down again. Further, deeper, and restrained himself mentally in ways that would so often break other men.

Takemura had patience and willpower, an uncanny ability to simply deny the part of him that wanted to lose himself with another for just a few moments. A few moments back then would have cost him a lifetime, a few moments now; he dared not entertain, and yet-

“We had a thing back when we were teenagers, she was my first proper output, gave me my first blowjob a couple blocks from here,” Gianluca’s words fall so unapologetically from his tongue, wet and organic in a self imposed gilded cage of teeth, “she got a job with Arasaka, I stayed in the Glen, we fuck when she gets a little homesick.” Takemura has to chew on his own tongue, he was homesick, he was only a couple blocks from a couple blocks away, he was trapped in his own vehicle with a gilded man dripping onto the centre console, talking about fucking a woman, talking about giving head, giving Good head.

“And you two are…” He clears his throat awkwardly, unwilling to say the next words. Because Gianluca was beautiful, and V was beautiful, and Takemura’s hormonal balance regulators had been turned off along with everything else, and he had unwittingly grown used to them thrumming away in his body, limiting the things he had taught himself to deny naturally.

“Are you asking professionally? Because I’m sitting in your van, in this pinche clima, in this soaked suit, and compiling all the information I can get off the Arasaka compound; and I’m not doing it just to get that puta to ride my dick.” Gianluca inches over, leaner closer, lowering his voice from where it had been raised in disbelief and annoyance. “There are easier ways to… mierda, Takemura, pa ti. That’s why.” He jabs a finger in Takemura’s direction, pointedly enough that he looks down, and then back up into Gianluca’s eyes. Golden lines turning as he tries, fails, to connect with Takemura’s own disabled optics, a hitch in the download as he turns his gaze back to the building beyond them.

He readjusts himself again as he sits back in the passenger seat, and Takemura’s gaze does not flee his form, not immediately. Because perhaps he had fooled himself, and he was a lesser man than he thought he was, because now the only image in his head was V writhing in Gianluca’s lap, head thrown back, arched and panting and wanton and brimming with lust and decorated with sweat. And so easily does she fade, replaced by his own body.

A part of him laments the image, laments the desire to take Gianluca’s cock in hand and press it inside of himself, and so he turns back to the building in the distance. Because it should be the other way around, he should have Luca on him, his status would demand it. He could not debase himself in front of a lesser man, a younger man, to give his most intimate parts up so freely to someone like Gianluca. A larger part of him doesn’t care, because the images playing in his mind increase twofold. Of being inside of Luca, of being on top of Luca, of being underneath Luca, of being spread legged with wide tattooed shoulders under his thighs, and a mouth, lips tattooed, tongue organic, teeth gilded, pressed open against his cock.

“I knew it was going to rain, waited for it, even.” Gianluca whispers. A soft admittance under the patter of raindrops. And when Takemura turns he sees the man dissected, his reasons laid bare.

He had the foresight to bring a vinyl bag that wouldn’t crumple with the weight of water, and not an umbrella to save himself the same misery. To bring food that would keep its heat, coffee the same, enough to warm himself that he would need another reason to shed his clothes; his damp clothes, pale and sticky against darker skin. He had sat in Takemura’s van drenched in sheer fabric, tugging and pulling at it, guiding his gaze in a dance across his body, a display, an allure; hands pressed against his thighs, his groin, his chest, sat lower in his seat so his hips pushed up, black underwear a stark contrast to everything he was and wore.

With tentative fingers he pulls a glittering datashard from his neck, eyes settling to their natural colour, and offers it to Takemura without need for recompense. For you, pa ti. A compilation of what he had gathered from the compound, a gift to help with the sabotaging of the parade.

He is dissected. He is lain bare. He is dressed in raindrops and distant city light.

And Takemura kisses him.

He grabs the offered wrist and pulls him close, pressing chapped lips to Luca’s own tattooed ones. His breath is sugary, his tongue more so. Takemura claws his hand around the back of Gianluca’s neck, pulling him closer like a chained dog, fingers digging into organic flesh and cybernetics alike. He can feel the stubble of hair growth as he grips harder, pressing himself closer; encouraging, if not forcing the younger man to open his mouth fully and share what lays there.

The heavy thrum of his heartbeat is felt through his wrist, a rising thudding beneath Takemura’s fingertips. It sings in time with Luca’s desperate grunt, the sound of his rings clacking against Takemura’s own neck. And when he squeezes harder he hears Luca’s moan over the sound of raindrops, open mouthed and whining, stuttering as Takemura’s tongue pressed in against his own. He yields so easily to him, letting him grab and take and pull, pushing against him with the same ferocity, keening into the state of being devoured.

Gianluca bites at Takemura’s lip as he tries to pull away, following him with kisses to his cheek, his jaw, golden teeth catching against the cybernetics of his neck. He bites down where flesh meets metal, upper teeth scraping his jawline, decorating the plates with his tongue as Takemura groans into the open air.

“You planned this.” Takemura heaves, accusing him as if he hadn’t instigated the kiss himself, catching his breath deep in his lungs. Gianluca pulls back, only the inch that the other man’s grip would allow, and offers a shining smile, he licks his lips, that golden triangle, and nods.

“Si,” he whispers, “but it’s going better than I expected.” He laughs breathlessly, kissing at the hand around his wrist, laving his tongue against the metalwork, trying to pull the fingers into his mouth. He stares at Takemura all the while, watching those dark brown eyes fall heavy, how his jaw twitches as he grinds his teeth.

With a shuddering breath he releases his grip, and instead, points three fingers together, his fourth curled into his palm, and lets Gianluca take them into his mouth. He kisses them at the joined tip, lets the flat of his tongue drag across them. Lips press down towards the cuff of his jacket, and he inhales deeply. It must smell of synthetic leather and sweat, but Gianluca rises with a smile, nipping at the palm of his hand, of the bumps and callouses there. The edge of his nose pressed against the three fingers as he returns to his beginning, and slowly he nips at those too, opening his lips to take them to the first knuckle.

He grins around them easily enough, forcing his tongue between the trio, curling it, flattening it, letting his saliva coat the inch he has in his mouth. Takemura still watches on, knowing almost entirely what both of them are thinking of, using most of his restraint to stop himself from pressing his free hand against the throb of heat below his gut. His whimper is embarrassing as Gianluca takes the fingers in further, to the second, the third, until his lips are flush against Takemura’s knuckles, and the only thing stopping him from going further is the fourth finger he had not taken. He swallows. And Takemura can feel the constriction of his throat against his fingertips, and the way his cock throbs against the inside of his slacks.

Gianluca pulls off, ever so slowly, allowing Takemura to set the pace as he takes his fingers from between the lips, each one sticky with sugared saliva. It’s sinful, the sight of them, glistening in the lowlight, a match to his lips, damp themselves, and open with staggering breath. It’s mesmerising almost, the ethereal nature of it broken when the datashard is pressed against them; all the information he needs, the reason why they where both here, a veritable tower block against the sight of a flush-faced Gianluca.

“Touch yourself, Takemura.” Gianluca whispers, eyes flickering the to fingers he had swallowed.

“I am.. I am not sure.” He says lamely. It seems inappropriate, what he just did was inappropriate, Gianluca’s hands trailing down his own body, catching on damp wrinkles of his shirt, thumbs pulling open his belt buckle, the sound of his slacks zipper being pulled down, it was all inappropriate.

His internal conflict must be written plainly on his face. The way his eyes skitter back and forth, from his hands to Gianluca’s own, to the younger man’s glossy eyed appearance and down to his own lap; and back to the soft frown that graces Gianluca’s brows, and the sound of a zipper being tugged back up. The sound almost echoed in Takemura’s gut, like a pendulum that swung between regret and relief. He’d never had someone… do that before. Truthfully, he wouldn’t have even entertained the mere thought of it before, and had he done so, Arasaka would have noted the stimulation in his endocrine system and flagged it up to be reviewed, as they always had done.

That in itself came with a sickening feeling of relief. It felt dirty. It felt dirty to want to do what Gianluca asked of him. It felt dirtier to hear those words in his head, over and over, and wonder if he could just take a hold of his own sex in spit-slicked fingers, apologise, and ask the younger man to watch, to touch, to taste.

“Is it me, or… this wasn’t a transactional sex thing, you know,” Gianluca clears his throat awkwardly, swiping a hand back through his hair and muttering to himself, “qué cabrón.” He looks over at Takemura, still holding the datashard aloft in wet fingers, his cock half hard in his slacks, and a heat decorating his cheeks.

A moment sits between them in the lowlight. Neither of them quite knowing exactly what to do. Whatever intimacy had stirred between them had been stalled by Takemura’s hesitance, and with each glance between them, fleeting, nervous, like two deer stuck in each others headlamps, it stalled again.

“Let me…” Gianluca says, turning in his seat to grab his pocket square and pluck the shard from Takemura’s fingers. He takes Takemura’s hand in his own, wiping away the excess saliva he had left, distracting himself by semi-detailing the metal work across his knuckles. “Listen, I can walk home,” he drops the datashard into the empty ashtray, “and, that’ll probably need to be filtered through, I can recheck the guard rota the day before V goes in just for extra safety, might even throw in a weaponry jammer if any open fire on the night and-“

“Gianluca.” Takemura says, halting the man in his stumbling words. He doesn’t know what he is going to say, nor how he intends to speak it in forced English. Instead he turns his hand in his own, bringing the organic knuckles to his lips. The kiss is chaste, less so when he reaches over to press against his lips. “I will drive you home.” He opts to say, knowing that it is merely a delay tactic, and one that is foolish in itself. The small smile at least is worth the detour, even if the words are abstract from their meaning.

With a press of a button the van splutters to life, rattling in protest of not yet being allowed to die its death. And he waits until Gianluca has tossed what remains in their cups from the window, and replaced the flask in the patterned red bag, before he moves off from their location.

The navigation system pings to life, a sultry female voice telling Takemura to take a right in so many kilometres, and congratulating him with flirtatious laughter and innuendo every few commands. An echo of the previous owner’s taste, and one that fully wilts any desire that might have been thriving in Takemura’s mind. “You, uh, you chose her, ¿si?” Gianluca asks behind a closed fist, stifling his laughter. Takemura fixes him with a stare, his face unmoving even as the navigator compliments him on his driving.

It is enough to settle the tense atmosphere they had both created. Even as Takemura’s shoulders grew tighter with each command. At the very least it had been a short drive, and the patter of rain had died down to a slow drizzle. It didn’t, however, give Takemura the time he needed to figure out what the plan for this was. Because he has seen Gianluca knocked back by some of those in Night City, and he had always brushed it off with a grin. Perhaps it was because this was private, because it had just been the two of them. And he didn’t know if it was him by himself, or the lack of onlookers which changed it.

With a wanton moan their navigator announced they had arrived at their destination, and Takemura happily punched enough buttons to shut her off, and then the ignition.

“Try the food, Takemura, it’s good, prometo.” Gianluca says with a reassuring nod. It’s enough to stop Takemura from saying, or doing, anything particularly foolish. He taps his fingers against the ashtray, a quiet reminder that Takemura still had work to do, and plucks his discarded clothing from the back of his seat. “You have my contact, right?” He asks faltering as he grasps the handle, hearing the click of the van door opening. He nods silently, thinking back to the name in his phone, back to the way he had swallowed his fingers. Takemura didn’t know whether to thank V or curse her for those three words of sexual wisdom.

Gianluca lingers as he clambers out, his clothes folded over his arm, a dazzling white now he stood under the city lights. He hovers a moment, chewing on the inside of his lip as if the words he wants to say fail to form on his tongue. Takemura wants to say something himself, but find no words can actually help him in this situation. And were it some soppy screamsheet nonsense, he imagines he might have kissed him farewell, but that was not life in Night City, not for Takemura. No, life for him was watching Gianluca step away, shut the door, and hurriedly enter the apartment complex he lived in.

Takemura punches the ignition button again, waiting for the van to regrettably sputter back to life before pulling away. He had work to do, and he was hungry.

#goro takemura #male v #cyberpunk 2077 #answer #mxm #fanfic #gianluca vargas #takemura x v #v x takemura

[honeymouthedtales]

Not fic related, but what can you say about the issue surrounding hc? Some say its lost in translation but idk what to believe. I'm not fluent in Korean after all. I'm quite on the heavy side, so seeing haechan say such words, as his fan, is uncomfortable...

i tried to find an ask i was sent about a similar issue but it was jeno talking to haechan a few months ago, because my answer will be the same i gave that day. unfortunately it was on cc and cc doesn't allow to look for old tweets, nor is twitter helpful in any way so i'll try to answer again.

under the cut bc very long sry

first of all, it's completely normal to feel uncomfortable. those are your feelings and they're valid. your feelings are separate from the intentions of the person who said those words, so no matter what you're entitled to feeling hurt if you feel like your bias might be fatphobic and no one should be telling you otherwise. in any case, feeling disappointed is not wrong because as many people are saying he is a public figure and his words can reach (and hurt) many people.

this said, as someone who lives in korea, i do understand why some people who are korean are saying his words are being greatly exaggerated by ifans. korean people constantly comment on other people's weight. it's to the point that i think it's a way for them to make small talk. just like they ask people if they have eaten when they want to ask how they're doing, food is often used in connection to health. when people haven't seen you for a long time they usually tell you that you've gained or lost weight as well (happened many times with me) and people do tell others to eat well as a good health wish. that's why i think that telling people to get in shape and take care of your body does not necessarily mean that he thinks they are fat, it's just a way to say take care of your health. imo it would be wrong to read a deeper meaning in it.

back to my previous point. does that make your hurt unnecessary? no, because you can get hurt even he didn't mean to say something hurtful. if you get run over by a car it doesn't matter whether the driver meant to do it or not.

but i don't accept the narrative that hc is a terrible person who judges the members' bodies because he is fatphobic, and anyone believing this has clearly never lived in korea, where the kind of sentences he said are as common between friends (especially male friends) as using the weather to make small talk. if you want a real example, i dare you to look at the other nct dream members. all of them have, in other instances, made comments that according to our standards would be judged "fatphobic" while they were talking among each other. do we stan a group of assholes or are we going to acknowledge that there might be a certain degree of cultural difference at play between the way we consider acceptable to talk about other people's bodies and the way they do it?

i'd like to add something i said when this issue happened with jeno and haechan was called fat instead. i'm not haechan's babysitter. he doesn't need me to defend him when he's talking with his friends. if what is said among them is problematic, i'm sure they are all old enough to talk among themselves and solve the problems. what they don't need is some fans (often solo stans or akgae) inventing a narrative in their head, analyzing reactions to support their theories and then proudly saying "member x is an asshole" and deciding that they, as strangers, know their friendship better than dream, the actual group of friends. and this is just to get rt and likes, for the drama. it's meaningless to always praise dream for having a genuine relationship but then distort every single instance of genuine reaction we get from them just to make a hit tweet. if jn and jm were annoyed by that comment, i trust them to say something among each other without everyone butting in blindly.

finally, i'm sorry that as a haechan fan he disappointed you. i do think what he said is wrong. i think he should've minded his words better. i don't like when he says stuff like that. i don't believe he wants to be hurtful, but at the same time i don't think he saw a problem with what he was saying because most people around him don't. not only the other members, but also the staff, his family, other celebrities. it's alright being disappointed, but i hope we can all be realistic and stop pinning the weight of a behavior that is widely normalized on a single idol every time something like this happens.

I hope I explained myself properly. It's a delicate issue, and as a fan I have to juggle between dealing with my own feelings of disappointment and seeing many comments of people who are inventing things or being hurtful just because they finally have a good pretext to do it.

#ask #cla #warning: fatphobia

[asteriastarr]

In your fanfiction on wattpad the main character mentions sex to mercy, in your fanfiction 'secrets' the main character is hiding in Deuces dorm and they're trying to hide from the others, there are many other references in your fanfictions.

*Blinks* I- *Blinks again*

Uh idk if you passed 5th grade english or not but those are... *Leans in close* Uhm *Whispers* REFERENCES!

very different to explicit smut... do you want to know why? Because a lot of those things can be interpreted at will. The hiding thing, is literally just them keeping their relationship a secret, in other posts where their OH THE HUMANITY laying in bed together its literally just laying in bed. I do it platonically with my friends all the time. Literally the most explicit I've gone in any of my posts and possibly ever will go is making out, WITH CLOTHES ON unless we expressly hear somewhere in the series that he is 16-18 and even then, I'm not comfortable writing it because :o I'm a minor too! AHHHHHH

Also btw the part where Y/n mentions sex to Mercy is completely out of context so uh- Heres the full convo:

Mercy paused, thinking of a way she could possibly word this.

"Well- There's someone." She began slowly "Someone I really, really like- who means the world to me... someone who-"

"You love?" Y/n finished for her.

"Yeah." She admitted "And- I think they love me too."

"Well, that's nice, isn't it? You loving each other?" Y/n smiled.

"I suppose." Mercy spoke, not meeting Y/ns eye.

Y/n tilted her head.

"Is there an issue?" She asked in concern.

"Well, everything was good when we first met, right? Perfect even but then... some months ago they... they changed and- now they want me to do something I don't want to do." Mercy admitted.

Y/n glanced over at something on the other side of her, nodding slightly before turning back. "Alcohol?" She asked.

"Uh- no?" Mercy said.

Y/n did the same thing again. "Drugs?" "No." "Sex?" "No! What the fang is wrong with you?" Mercy gasped.

"I don't know, what is wrong with me?" Y/n spoke, glancing pointedly over at some invisible creature beside her before back at Mercy "But, Mercy... if you love each other can't you just... tell them you don't want to do it? If they truly love you, they'll listen and respect it."

"I tried; they wouldn't listen." She murmured. "Well... that's not love," Y/n said after a brief silence.

"Excuse me?"

"What you just described isn't love... at least not on their part." "What do you mean?" Mercy asked.

"Well- Love- True Love is unconditional, it has no prior requirements- with the occasional exceptions... part of those exceptions is respecting boundaries when they are set." Y/n spoke "By talking to this person and telling them how you feel... you set a boundary. If they refuse to respect that then they don't love you Mercy... not really."

Also in an earlier scene Deuce and Y/n share a bed. In another scene they kiss. Wouldnt those be more important then a mention of sex? Plus... My gods.... Y/N IS A SIREN WHO GREW UP ON AN ISLAND READING A SHIT TON OF BOOKS! OBVIOUSLY SHE'LL MENTION SEX DOESNT MEAN SHE PARTAKES IN IT.

#g3 monster high #live action monster high #monster high g3 #deuce gorgon #deuce gorgon g3 #live action deuce gorgon #gorgon

[onthejadedjournal]

update

after i broke down school (the day of the deadline) because of how anxious i was about this whole ordeal - my best friend immediately tried to figure a way around the issue and told me he'll try to coax the teacher into listening to him which was so daring because that teacher is very true to her words and she had really high standards for all of us

it was so hard to talk that day. my head hung so low and i couldn't even hear the lessons because of how mentally distraught i was that day - i had to use my notebook to talk to him because if i talked, i know my sobs and hiccups will be heard and i hate attracting attention. he immediately noticed how distant i acted and it i quickly clicked back to the comic i made back then and. idk. I'm just surprised how accurate that was. i dunno. self projection works ig

either way. at the end of the day - my teacher acknowledged the concern and extended it up to sunday this week

i'm happy but i'm still really. not happy. happy because im given one more chance to work on it but unhappy because - i feel that this could've been worked out much better. or better yet. not a fucking animation

and. im also pissed. really pissed

the trailer wasn't mandatory.

the trailer wasn't mandatory.

i could've been. working on the story a week before if it werent for the fucking trailer

but. i cant even be too mad about it because at at least the trailer gave me insight on how i feel about animation?

well for one. im not taking the multimedia art course anymore in college. eye opening moment for me

and two - thanks to many people telling me this; you don't have to make it high effort just to please everyone. its okay to dumb it down because an artist's eyes isnt the same as a normal one. another eye opening moment to me

and i guess the trailer was only good for getting everyone to buy our movie tickets. idk

but. the trailer wasnt mandatory. i just learned that and i was really upset.

again. should i be mad or not? I don't know but it just happens. its a double edged sword

another thing that really made me angry was how everyone thinks this is going to be a walk in the park for me. its not. it's not. "she'll do okay because she can draw" "we're going to win some awards thanks to her" god i wish i never heard those i don't even know the first thing about animation im just really lucky to have nicole help me as she's a genuine aspiring animator.

either way im just so ready to forget all of this when im done. i don't want to share this project to friends because i'm more or less traumatized mentally and physically about this and I don't want to recall it again and i'm dead serious about it.

it also doesnt help that i keep getting called a slacker at home for not doing the animation. if only you understand what im feeling. did you not take the hint when i slept early twice? yeah. yeah maybe you should get it next time. just got told that while i was typing this . hahhah

i've lost my energy to be happy and even to selfship (but with one exception i guess) because the last 2 days i just find myself crying to sleep over how angry i am and it sucks because i cant catch up to what my friends are doing and I don't want to be the lump of coal that opposes their energy everytime i come to them which is why i'm just here to rot and complain about it. i know they're willing to be there to help me destress. i know they're worried about me. but i have to consider the external factors (which is. being accused of being a slacker when im in need of comfort from my friends). if i was the only person in the house then i would've done it in a heartbeat

i don't sound the same right now and it all culminates to this. it's almost a month and this is eating me alive consistently to no end. i get bursts of joy here and there but it doesn't outweigh how tired i am

but thankfully i'm given another chance to work on it so.

now im just praying i can make it. im praying

and leave this fucking school soon

#i got home from school for our graduation pictorials #supposed to finish at 2 #finished at 5 #so much time wasted again #sorry I don't have much good things to say

[mdhwrites]

I know you said on Twitter your least favorite joke in TOH is the joke from Edge of the World about the head Titan hunter being named Bill. My least favorite TOH joke is from Escaping Expulsion, when Gus suggests they cast illusions of "lady guards" to distract the guards and Willow is like "this isn't a cartoon from the 40s!" Firstly because, why would Gus make that suggestion? Who says the guards are heterosexual men? The Boiling Isles feels pretty gender and sexuality neutral so that's a strange assumption on his part. Second of all why is Willow referencing something from Earth that she would have no way of knowing about aside from maybe Luz, except why would Luz tell her about cartoons from the 40s? Third of all, the whole joke is just brimming with this smug aura of 'look everyone, we're so progressive, we're NOT going to do this trope that we COULD do because we're not a cartoon from the 40s!' Like, if you have to pat yourself on the back for not writing something worse then maybe your writing isn't actually that good. You know? IDK, it's such a small moment so it's weird that it bothers me as much as it does but I feel like it's a microcosm of a lot of my issues with TOH's writing. Anyway, any thoughts on that joke or TOH's joke writing in general? 🦎

There is... a lot to be said about the humor of TOH. I actually covered, theoretically, one problem in a blog about the male characters in TOH. That blog is relevant to this because 80% of TOH's comedy is predicated on the misery of some sort of the designated comic relief characters. In S1, this is pretty much entirely male. In S2, Lilith joins these ranks but not as the straight man she was in S1 (the comedy term, not the sexuality) but as just... The same sort of gag character everyone else is.

This designation of comic relief also commonly comes with only being allowed one or two main jokes that will be used over and over again in someway to make the character look like a fool. Now slapstick is fine and I like stuff like Randy Cunningham so I can enjoy it. The problem with TOH's comedy writing is that it's not creative, interesting and kind of eventually gets very obvious. As such, it becomes incredibly boring.

This is almost entirely why I found King to be a boring character for the entirety of S1. He just... isn't a character. He's two jokes that aren't very different from each other. A child trying to be taken seriously or an animal that is trying to have the respect of a human. Both degrade him, both have him acting the fool, both have him looking stupid, etc. like that and because he is the comedic backbone of the main trio in theory, these jokes are repeated somewhere close to a BILLION TIMES.

But... All of those lead to comedy that is for the most part boring. Without the actual interplay of characters, the comedy feels superfluous. It's like anything that relies on its comic relief to be able to claim to be a comedy rather than actually having that comedy weave in and out of the piece naturally. An untold amount of meh animated movies have this exact problem so it's nothing new even if people somehow don't understand that it is a problem.

But let's talk about the other 20% with the two jokes discussed in your ask! Both of them are in line with the fact that when the show isn't using slapstick, it's subversion. Namely, subversion of cartoon and fantasy tropes. The only problem is that it seems to think it's revolutionary for subverting tropes DECADES old... When they've either entirely fallen out of fashion or the sorts of subversion they're doing have been done for... decades as well almost.

Because distracting the guards by dressing in drag isn't something modern cartoons play straight anymore. They'll either see through the disguise, call them ugly, not be of the same species, etc. like that. And all of those are more of a joke than just calling out the fact that it's a trope and then that's it. That's the joke. Which isn't funny or clever. It's just an observation that begs the question of "Okay, and? We weren't treating you as a show from the 40s. Are we supposed to?"

As a tangent though: That whole conversation is a mess. You pointed out all the world building issues with it but let's just talk about who does what. Gus is weirdly the only character IN CHARACTER as they discuss this plan. Top Student Amity wants to go in and FIGHT EVERYONE while Willow, who has never shown any real cleverness with her magic, just overwhelming brute force, is the one to suggest actually being sneaky with a magical solution while also being the one to scold Gus the hardest. Admittedly, I don't agree with people who think Willow suppresses her emotions so her speaking up is in character but how overly mean she is about it feels like it was written for Amity but it was boarded wrong or something.

The other major issue in both jokes though, much more in the one I hate most, is the feeling of smugness. That the show obviously thinks it's incredibly clever for the joke. I mean, just how weird are fantasy names? Balthazar? Magnus? Tarik?

Oh, wait, TOH actually used that last one. And the others are rooted in cultures not in America so treating as entirely fantastical nowadays is just kind of being an asshole. I mean, how many Japanese or Arabic names are going to sound weird to an American, where 'Christopher' is about as complex or interesting as our first names get? So maybe you shouldn't judge so quickly.

But that's not the point anyways. It's that so many OTHER fantasy shows take themselves so seriously with these names or ideas or leaders and look how 'funny' it is when they're named something like Bill! Or they're actually a stoner! Aren't we a riot?

And there's never thought beyond that. Of how it clashes with the narrative which is the REAL reason I DESPISE the Bob joke. Unlike something like the Bile Sacs, something that is used as a subversive joke that fucks up the magic system in some way because they'll never get brought back up again... Bob fucks up his episode.

Theoretically, the tension of the episode is whether or not these people are good and if King should be with them to find out about his culture. The first time "Bill" is uttered out of Tarik's mouth, the show just hard pauses for a second, as if to allow for the snickers to die down, before Luz even straight up asks if it's short for something. They straight up spend 15 seconds of the episode destroying any possible gravitas this character has.

Which is an immediate sign. If these characters were actually meant to be a dilemma from a character standpoint, they'd be taken seriously. They could be silly but their culture would matter. Their leaders would matter. In fifteen seconds, for the sake of a joke they're obviously so proud of, at the ten minute mark so we have half the episode left...

The audience knows the truth. They're grifters or bad men in some way and King and Luz shouldn't trust them. All for fifteen seconds for a bad joke that's not original in the slightest.

And for anyone who thinks we're thinking too hard about these jokes: That's not our problem. Okay, it absolutely is my problem, I overthink most things, but in general, if we're questioning jokes this much... The show has failed. In some way, the joke has broken the suspension of disbelief and now I'm not watching something I'm invested in, I'm instead aware of it being a construct and kid's show. And because of the egotism, it demands higher scrutiny the moment that happens. I've talked about this problem with TOH before. And comedy suffers the most from it because TOH doesn't do rapid fire comedy. It wants its jokes to be gut busters. It's REALLY confident in a lot of them, especially the more ego put into the joke. And... I'm sorry. While TOH does constitute deserving the comedy genre title, it's just not a great comedy. It's fine at best usually but it doesn't have variety and it's usually not clever. Does it sometimes manage a great one? I would hope so since it's literally listed as a comedy. But if you want something unique and that deserves to think of itself as a gut buster, you're going to have look for something that tries harder than this. (and of course as a caveat to ALL of this: I prefer British style of humor and interplay which takes a lot more sarcasm, back and forth, etc. like that so I'm a bit predisposed to not being hit as hard by it as others. Comedy is so subjective though that that's why I tried to stick to kind of the general, structural and presentation issues with the comedy rather than whether the jokes themselves are good or not.) ======

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead, If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

And finally a Twitter you can follow too!

#The Owl House Criticism #Rambles

[silencedrage]

my self indulgent list of ideas/dynamics/plots i want to explore - yj edition

pretty much exactly what the title says - these are mostly basic, half-formed ideas that have rapid cycled through my brain so if anything sounds interesting, come yell at me ty. nothing here is exclusive, meaning if, in the unlikely event that more than one person is interested in the same idea, i'm more than fine to explore it with multiple muns/muses because i believe each version will be unique in their own ways. the list below is also non-exclusive and i might add things to it over time, so just because it's not here doesn't mean i'm not interested!! also ocs/canons from other media are equally welcome, we will figure something out

l.ottie:

literally anything with l.aura lee

the 2 month gap between s1 and s2 in the 96 timeline - exploring a little more how they went from doomcoming to lottie leading the wilderness cult; was there ever a conversation about it with anyone?

lottie and travis over the years - it seems like trav was the only one who semi-stayed in touch with lottie, at least enough to be able to call her when he was in crisis (note: i don't view their relationship as romantic but it is Very Important to lottie)

v.an:

someone please give me natvan childhood besties and all the complexities that come with that (i.e., issues when taivan becomes a thing and tai/nat butt heads, the shit they go through in the trailer park with their parents, was van out to nat before the crash? is that why she was so casual about ben?, more strain when van starts following lottie, why don't they keep in touch post-rescue) - idk i just need it

the push-pull between tai and lottie. idk how this would get explored, i am just obsessed with this dynamic

post-breakup situationships where she gets her "needs met"; the rise of dating apps and how that affects her self-esteem, just mess

t.ai:

post-rescue (and breakup) fuckboi tai and some messy af situationships before she settles down with simone

secret meetings with shauna in the years between the timelines bc shauna had a nokia flip phone in her safe to contact tai like they were illicit lovers having an affair

tai and nat and their many discussions (and arguments) about rehab

s.hauna:

callie and/or jeff (that's it - i just need more of them)

pre-crash stuff that shows her relationship with the others outside of jackie, and also with jackie bc i feel like there's a difference between shauna and shauna when she's with jackie and that distinction comes out swinging in the wilderness

honestly like... anyone around wiskayok? could be a canon character, could be an oc, but i imagine she's almost like an urban legend around the town. other than misty, she's the only one who's stayed local (as far as we know) but on the surface she leads such a very normal, boring life. idk i just think locals would be so weird about her lmfao

n.at:

honestly any of the van/nat or tai/nat stuff that i talked about above

the on again-off again stuff with travis, the interplay with her stints in rehab, etc.

how her addiction affects her relationships with others: did she ever end up on shauna's doorstep, or van's before they lost touch? shauna doesn't trust nat in s1 and makes a lot of quips, and feels like maybe shauna's been burned by her addiction that we don't know about?

anyone she met in rehab, anyone she met in her addict circles, people who were around natalie at her lowest - who try and tempt her back, who want to see her succeed, former sponsors, people she's sponsored, etc.

anything with lisa, pls give me the babs

s.imone:

honestly i added her on a whim because i need to explore every possible permutation of simonetaivan in all of its glorious complexity

i'm trying not to delve too much into post-s2 stuff because i want to leave that for s3 so she's pretty open atm

khalida:

any and all versions of akilah pls

something with adult tai tbh? especially in a reality where akilah is not a survivor, i just think there would be something really fucking interesting to dig into there given what we've seen of akilah and tai's relationship

any of the other adult survivors too - the complexity of resentment that they made it back when Akilah didn't, while also wanting to ask them what happened to her baby sister. wanting to blame them but also seeing the horrors reflected in their eyes and knowing she could never fully judge them for anything they had to do to survive

i think the above would be especially funny/complex/tragic with misty, who probably has all of khalida's info when she kept tabs on everyone else too. misty being someone who knows what khalida will always want to know: what really happened to akilah. and misty knowing she'll never tell the truth but enjoying the power that simply having that knowledge gives her. is that fucked up? maybe, but is it anything more fucked up than what the show has already shown? not really

#[ ch: natalie scatorccio. ] #[ ch: lottie matthews. ] #[ ch: van palmer. ] #[ ch: shauna shipman. ] #[ ch: taissa turner. ] #[ ch: simone abara. ] #[ ch: khalida. ] #my queue is empty so i have no business posting this but #general reminder that i'm always open to plotting new things #i can be slow and sporadic especially while i'm working (which is almost always) #but i'm never not thinking about this show #spinning in my head like a rotisserie chicken

[vaaarnarebog]

hearts not parts

im so confuuused yalllllll, how is hearts not parts problematic?

i read a bunch of posts n shi that say it IS problematic but not really explaining how its problematic.

all i found is this which says:

"the issue with those phrases are not the messages they mean to convey, it’s what they’re actually conveying.

which is a dismissive attitude toward gender, a conflation of gender and sex, an implication that non-pan people only care about genitals, an erasure/invalidation of aromantic people, a misrepresentation of what it means to be pan in general, and an idea of superiority over other identities. "

its not dismissive toward gender? it says nothing about gender at all.

conflating gender and sex? again it says nothing about gender

my brain is breaking, okay maybe because its about sexualities it does imply something about gender, but it's dismissing the physical parts not your gender?

3. "an implication that non-pan people only care about genitals" emmm, does "love between men is pure" imply that all other love is impure?

4. "an erasure/invalidation of aromantic people" same as the previous point, the fact that we are talking about romantic love atm, don't mean we invalidate aromantic people.

5. "misrepresentation of what it means to be pan in general" what does it mean? idk, tbh, webMD says "Pansexuality is the romantic, emotional, and/or sexual attraction to people regardless of their gender." and that sounds reasonable? pan x-attraction to any of the genders. what is it misrepresenting?

all (ignoring the people who don't consider trans or intersex people people) sexualities are attracted to the heart (soul, being, person including their gender/lack there of) not their private parts, so if anything it could be any orientations slogan, but doesn't really sound right for one gender attracted people, that i admit. idk why. prolly bc it's been associated with bi pan omni ppl. idk.

6. "and an idea of superiority over other identities." not sure at all about this one. as I established no sexualities are actually attracted exclusively to parts. Hearts not parts is not implying anything about superiority or other orientations at all.

open to civil conversation and any explanations!

i came across this discourse while making pride stickers and it just don't make sense in my head.

which is a dismissive attitude toward gender, a conflation of gender and sex, an implication that non-pan people only care about genitals, an erasure/invalidation of aromantic people, a misrepresentation of what it means to be pan in general, and an idea of superiority over other identities.

which is a dismissive attitude toward gender, a conflation of gender and sex, an implication that non-pan people only care about genitals, an erasure/invalidation of aromantic people, a misrepresentation of what it means to be pan in general, and an idea of superiority over other identities.

the issue with those phrases are not the messages they mean to convey, it’s what they’re actually conveying.

which is a dismissive attitude toward gender, a conflation of gender and sex, an implication that non-pan people only care about genitals, an erasure/invalidation of aromantic people, a misrepresentation of what it means to be pan in general, and an idea of superiority over other identities.

#pride #bisexual #pansexual #hearts not parts #discourse #LGBT+

[glitchbirds]

tmi/transitioning related things (mostly centered around surgery in this specific post), mildly nsfw at points. also this is very long

ok why do i find it easier to talk about these things on here, a public account where strangers and vague acquaintances follow me, than on my private twitter where only friends (mostly v close ones) follow me. idk. it just feels less embarrassing (IE: humiliating) if i picture the intended audience as more neutral/mixed and not consisting of multiple people who have met me in person and/or who have known me since middle/high school

also this is very rambly and maybe not coherent. apologies. this has been swirling in the back of my head since last night and im just throwing it into text post form and proceeding to pretend to forget it exists.

i feel like for most of my life i was extremely ambivalent about top/bottom surgery personally because i had such a detached sense of self (let alone attachment to my physical body) that i just didnt care. and as i got older i at least reached a point of like, ok, top surgery is definitely in the cards because i dont like my chest and its more of an inconvenience than anything, but i never really thought of it as like, overtly dysphoria-inducing to have breasts? my main issue was (and still is) always just how other people view their presence on my body. ive tried wearing a binder a grand total of two times, but it was uncomfortable (esp since i am Fat) and just drew my attention MORE to their presence. and this year it finally hit me that a lot of my current issues w/ my chest are resolved if i just… dont wear bras anymore. because just like a binder, bras mean im constantly thinking about the pressure on my chest. so i dont and im significantly better off for it, even though i Am constantly worried by the possibility of people staring. like. i have a big chest unfortunately and (sorry) the nipples are constantly making their presence known. but like. even when i wore bras the nipples constantly showed and i hated THAT too but at least now i dont think about them as much when im in public unless im speaking to someone directly, but then i can at least cross my arms or something.

ftr. the knowledge that just Deleting The Nipples Outright is even an Option with top surgery was a game changer and ive been set on that for years. i honestly think if you forced me to chose between removing the breasts and keeping the nipples, or removing the nipples and keeping the breasts, id have to think about it for a long time before deciding, because i think the latter option would solve way more of my remaining dysphoria than the former. having a chest does not bother me tremendously because again I Am Fat and fat cis men can have large chests too, so it doesnt feel like it automatically makes me read as A Woman to strangers... just in combination with other factors.

(in the end i would probably settle on top surgery and keeping the nipples if i HAD to, if only because i suspect the breasts to have some connection to chronic pain, but it wouldnt be ideal for me. i want these bitches gone.)

as for bottom surgery… WELL. no one on this god damn website(or twt) likes talking about bottom surgery seriously, or at least no one i know, which is unfortunate because it makes me feel like im alone here in caring about it in any capacity. i feel like a lot of my transmasc/trans guy friends only want(ed) top surgery and dont care about bottom surgery, which is absolutely fine and i support that and love that, but it does make it feel very difficult to even acknowledge the possibility that i might want it for myself because its like theres no precedent. (and ofc theres also the possibility that out of my friends there are others who are in the same boat as me and just dont want to talk about it publicly, which. Very Fair because clearly i am also having issues just Talking About It.)

ive also gone back and forth over wanting it for years, and then back and forth about what Kind i’d want, though ive learned over time that phallo is preferred for fat transmasc ppl and its probably what i would lean more towards getting for myself regardless of that. though the fact that its more expensive/can have more complications/requires more surgical procedures and longer recovery time, Does Scare Me A Bit, and that circles back into the aforementioned "i feel like a freak talking about this at all in the first place" feeling... like i dont even know how to talk about having these concerns in the first place because i feel like nearly everyone i know has simply decided to not bother with this and will somehow judge me for wanting it for myself. even though im aware thats nonsense. idk. just the fact that its literally Dick Surgery combined with my usual aggressively high levels of self-isolation = This Is The Most Humiliating Topic In The World To Me. how dare i acknowledge to others that i possess genitalia or that i may wish to alter them in some fashion to feel more comfortable. i feel like if i DID go through w/ getting phallo i would just go radio silent online throughout the whole process for months on end because id be too nervous to even acknowledge its happening.

which, in general is also something i wish i could fix in myself. :/ i have spent the majority of my life becoming more and more private and for the most part i dont think thats a bad thing but it unfortunately is/was combined with a lot of repression and trauma and im just barely beginning to fully untangle some of that and now im in a place where i dont WANT to be as reticent as i am but it feels impossible to really stop; and/or i feel like people ive known for years will be shocked and appalled if i suddenly acknowledge the fact that i am a human being capable of carnal thought. like, man, fucking look at the way im talking about this and dancing around the subjects. look at it. i am twenty five years old. i am a mess.

i think my other major concern w/ phallo that i didnt already note above is connected to this- i dont mind the idea of having skin graft scars, but i DO mind the possibility of someone looking at a scar on my arm and being able to tell. you know? like idk, someone knowing im trans and seeing that scar and suddenly Knowing the state of my genitalia without me even acknowledging it. which is probably. me being extremely paranoid for no good reason, because phallo isnt the only procedure in the world that requires skin grafts, most people in the world are not super well versed in Transmasc Surgery details, i could chose less obvious sites for skin grafts like the thigh, etc. but the thought just makes me deeply uncomfortable. though not AS uncomfortable as it used to make me? testosterone has done a LOT for me the past few months to make some of these things matter less to me and get me over some of these hangups i have had for the majority of my life and i am deeply deeply grateful for that. like i can guarantee i would not be making this post if i was not on T because i would just be too freaked out by the vague possibility of anyone actually reading this fucking Manifesto im crafting here.

idkkkk. it wouldnt be the end of the world if i decide against getting bottom surgery in the near-ish future- or ever- but like. GRIMACING ok let me rip THIS bandaid off, i have never in my entire life been comfortable with penetration . it is either uncomfortable or outright painful. i suspect i have vaginismus or something similar, and i know there are treatments for that and i could eventually reach a point where i Am comfortable with it, but frankly i do not Care. while there are times where i may wish that this was not a problem i have, i am mostly content with allowing a significant portion of my equipment to remain in relative disuse.

so like. idk. frankly it would probably be better for me to go through the whole process of bottom surgery so i actually have Fully Functional Genitals for the first time ever. ftr even typing that sentence makes me want to die i am like at war with myself and my own prudishness even when i am as vague as possible. i am also cutting out a LOT of other details rn because i would probably just keel over from a heart attack if i Did include them.

Ok Well. i have talked for like 1500 words about my problems disorders and publicly humiliated myself enough for one day. if youve read through this whole thing you have nothing but my apologies. and also my gratitude. but mostly the apologies.

#i went out of my way to figure out how to disable reblogs for this post instead of just trying to make it look unappealing to reblog #so that should tell you something #txt

[mrkis]

a twlg ask from 🦄 anon below the cut!! yet again, i had to put it into a separate post to not clog up the dash bc of how long it is!! my response is beneath!!

Im keeping track with the discussion in Discord and all I can say is I am still team Jaemin, and I am still giving him the benefit of the doubt. We have seen fractures of what he went through up to part 3 and during part 4 & 5 a lot of stuff happened between him and mc and to me their relationship took a different route then. Also mc didnt truly fall for him up until that moment before the party in pt 3 when he said "you got me" so they are basically in the same boat up until this point, things change for her after that and I think for him too. And i'd like to think that there is so much more beneath the surface when it comes to him and how he views his relationship with mc, and her as a person.

Like I said in my previous ask yeah at first he sees her as only a fuck buddy, but its normal considering they never really knew each other and had any sort of a bond. I cant blame him for wanting and asking for what they agreed upon in the first place, its also not his fault how mc reads his actions, she doesnt know whats inside his head neither does he know whats inside of hers. Communication is still a big issue for them, they tend to ignore what they want to really say to avoid "complications" or simply because they are more scared of being vulnarable with another person again and its easier to brush it off and pretend its nothing.

Im still salting about how in pt 5 he was waiting for her to talk about that important thing yet she did everything in her power to distract him and they ended up having sex, a soft one which was nice ofc and seeing how much of an effect her calling him "baby" during it had on him, I so desperately want to see his side of that. Or how easily she let him go without even considering if he wants to give Eunbin a second chance, which he clearly stated he didnt, he forgave her more for himself to have his own closure, not to give her the joy of being forgiven.

Idk, both of them have huge faults in how things got so complicate, one honest long talk is all they need to resolve atleast 99 of their issues, but both of them are cowards. I just hope that when pt6.2 comes out we will see more of how things are for him in regards to mc and how he understands it, cause sometimes its hard to understand what you feel or even accept it because of the anxiety that comes with your own reality after you embrace all those feelings and thoughts. Its scary, terrifying even. This is more personal but a few years ago I had fallen for my ex-bffs little brother and believe me when I say those were the toughest, most heartwrenching couple of months in my life. I was in such huge denial, I tried to see him as a little brother but one look from him, one simple touch on the arm had my head spinning, and during those month of internal struggle I was even hating myself (he had a gf btw). I didnt want to admit to anything infront of myself let alone anyone else, and the moment those bursted down I was a wreck. It took me months to get over him. So yeah, I can kinda get why Jaemin, and mc for that matter, struggle with their own reality of what they feel and why, cause sometimes it can feel like its wrong, like some unwritten rule was broken and the world is ending. It may not be at all wrong, we all feel what we feel and its not sth we can control. This got a bit misdirected but you get what I mean 😅

I am still team Jaemin, and until I see him genuinely being a complete and total arse toward mc, like making her feel small and unreasonable and just wrong for having feelings for him, then I will root for him. I try to put myself in his shoes and despite all his wrong doings, I can see why he would build such walls around himself and how scared he must be to let them fall.

Also, for the yy x mc endgame trope, I know he is nice and has feelings for her and all but i cant see them together. Just because they may work good because of the foundation they have for their friendship doesnt necessarily mean they would be a good couple. There are many layers to a relationship and sure they can be cute, but the amount of drama it would create within the group would be too much. Also, i feel like a part of mc will always be for Jaemin, considering the complicity of their relationship. It would also not be fair to Yang Yang to sorta be her second choice after Jaemin. If mc ends up with anyone who is not Jaemin then it should be an outside person, so she can truly move on.

[ mrkis response ] : i'm gonna section my responses in a bulleted list for you!! thank you for sending me this btw!!

its fun to hear you're giving jaemin the benefit of the doubt and that you're still team jaemin!! in six(pt1), we saw jaemins thought process from part one to part three which, i think, is different from his upcoming thought process from part four to five (and so on as i'll be continuing present day in jaemins pov after the flashback scenes are over. but they will go back to mc's pov in part seven!!) — and you're right abt mc!! she didn't fully realise she liked him into the party scene. there was always something lingering, which was the comfort between them both that she craved, but diving further into their fwb relationship and becoming exclusive, that definitely persuaded her. — there is definitely more beneath the surface when it comes to him and his relationship with mc. he does really care abt her a lot and, admittedly, she has become his best friend over this short period of time. bare in mind, in jaemins mind, it has always been jeno and jaemin. jeno has always been his number one (he still loves the other boys, haru and miwoo tho) and jeno still is his number one.. he just shares that spot with mc now. so mc does mean a lot to him!! :D

i like how you said its normal and you can't blame jaemin to see mc as a fuck buddy as that was their relationship, bc its true!! that's all it was!! and its for sure not either of their faults for not understanding whats going on inside each others heads (this is where the communication is needed for sure. its one of their biggest issues in this relationship even though they made it a rule)

with that scene in part five, that was definitely mc's fault for sure. things could've been avoided if she was open abt her growing feelings towards him but she's vulnerable!! and she's very scared!! them being vulnerable and scared also plays a huge part for sure.. it's a problem they need to work on :( —you will for sure see jaemins reaction to the first soft sex scene they've had. it was so.. intimate. something that jaemin hasn't really had in a long time. so i can't wait for you to see that!

they're definitely cowards and both at faults. like i've said before, all this trouble and pain could easily be avoided if they just talked :/ six(pt2), for me personally, is going to be an eye opener. hopefully ahhh. its where eunbin comes into play, its where jaemins head gets fucked and it shows where the people in his life truly stand.

for me, i love the yangyang and mc endgame conversations that have been going on!!! i think they would be good together, mainly bc of how much yangyang truly cares and thinks abt mc... but then again, i fully believe yangyang deserves someone better. he doesn't deserve to be a second choice :(

#fic: the way life goes #🦄anon