#jeez there's so many things to tag lol

[il-predestinato]

https://www.tumblr.com/charlesleclerc1/722748267408113664/just-like-op?source=share

the power of lestappen that people are making polls for their little echo chamber just to see them "lose" while secretly liking and shipping lestappen

Yeah, lol, I'm not sure why people are so determined to make "polls" just to antagonize random rpf ships. Oh well, I hope they at least had fun. And not for the first time, people are making "polls" just to hopefully get the outcome they want and see Lestappen "lose". I wish we could all just enjoy the ships we like and ignore the ones we don't like, rather than setting up "brigades" against certain ships in the form of polls or whatnot. They're all equally fake ships, so what's the big deal? I filter out plenty of ships/drivers that I don’t care to see.

Also, I doubly don't understand people like OP who tag anti Max, promote anti Max, and then enjoy Lestappen while hiding it to appease some internet group in order to fit in. Sounds exhausting. I feel a bit sad for them; I love being part of the Lestappies - exchanging fics, ogling over gifs, screaming at their little winks and eye crinkles, laughing at their dumbassery, sharing headcanons, etc. Much more fun to just unashamedly, unapologetically enjoy the ships you enjoy rather than go through such mental gymnastics.

…

(Also, what do you mean lose? 🤪 We won that poll by a landslide!)

#lestappen #max verstappen #lol congrats lestappen i guess? living rent free in so many minds #you know what they say? no such thing as bad publicity 😁 #gen tag #lol gen please tell me what receipts you keep on me #i'm terrified #also the correct answer of op's poll is maxiel #but you won't catch me dead posting 'polls' about maxiel because 1) they don't live rent free in my head and 2) i don't secretly like them #and 3) jeez it's just my opinion and why be annoying to maxiel fans like that #elle.ask #anon

[lifewtr]

∘⋆․⊹․∘⟡˖*⊹ * fan fic tag game * ∘⋆․⊹․∘⟡˖*⊹

HELLO @krankittoeleven! THANKS FOR THE TAG, WE ARE DEFINITELY HOMIES NOW :D i enjoyed your answers a lot; it's nice to meet you! ♥

1. How many fics do you have on AO3?

as of today, i have 50 fics on the archive!

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

426,518. jeez.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

predominantly avatar: the last airbender, though i have certainly dabbled in others over the years. right now i'm slowly working my way into the jujutsu kaisen fandom ♥♥

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Lemon, Two Sugars (zutara, rated M): 905 kudos.

Give It Up (zutara, rated E): 824 kudos.

Half Joy (vinceno, rated E): 457 kudos.

Lyk Dis (zutara, rated E): 425 kudos.

Put It Down (zutara, rated E): 414 kudos.

5. Do you respond to comments?

I DO I'M JUST ABYSMAL WITH TIMELY REPLIES. I'M SORRY I LOVE ALL OF YOU AND I READ EVERY SINGLE ONE I SWEAR <3

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

like the homie krankittoeleven, i pretty much only use angst as a plot device - there are only happy/hopeful endings in this household lmao - but if i consider context, the fic with the angstiest ending is probably Honorfall (zutara, rated E). maybe Of All the Things My Hands Have Held (zutaraang, rated M)..?

7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

lots of my fics have happy endings ;))))) as for the happiest... ahh, probably If It Means a Lot to You (zukaang, rated M) and Flowers Never Pick Themselves (zutaraang, rated M).

8. Do you get hate on fics?

er, yes and no? i feel like hate is a strong word. it's more so that there are some readers who have simply ~disliked~ certain premises of mine, which, y'know, is what it is! click away or write your own shit! ♥

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

the good kind, baby, and absolutely nothing less. if it doesn't make me wet, i don't post it!

10. Do you write crossovers?

i used to! especially with and amongst irl friends. if there was a fandom i/we were into, there was a harry potter crossover in our shared docs to go with it LOL.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

an entire fic? no, not to my knowledge anyway. but i've definitely had some scenes and dialogue grabbed and scattered across the web over the years.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

no ;-; i've never even had art made for/inspired by my fics ;-;;;; one day though. one day i am going to write something [clenches fist] so fucking good...

13. Have you ever co-written a fic?

several times! said fics will not be seeing the light of today, but yes! i love a good co-write!

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

once again, like the new homie i will not be picking just one and you will simply have to deal with it LOL. i am extremely down bad for tony stark/bucky barnes, tony stark/t'challa, tony stark/stephen strange.. okay i'm tony-centric, fuckin sue me. anyways. i still really love sesshomaru/kagome, zuko/katara, harry potter/hermione granger, trevor/alucard/sypha, and now gojo/nanami. when i tell you i am fERAL ABOUT NANAGO—

15. What’s a fic you’d like to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Take Care (zutara, rated M), and several other zutara fics that i have put into a graveyard so that even though they're unlikely to be completed, they can still be appreciated!

16. What are your writing strengths?

mmm. this is a bit hard for me to answer because i feel like i could use improvement everywhere, always. i could probably use some more work in my dialogue though (just having more of it, i think). with conflict resolution as well - circling back to angst, i usually gloss over it because i want [my] characters to have nothing but good times and good endings. i need to be less wary of putting them through some shit, which i am working on!

anywayyy. my biggest strength is my prose!

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

up for debate, but personally my weakness is outlines. i try to use them but my brain does not like having "rules" when it comes to creating a story, even if i am the one to write them ;;

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in a fic?

i'm a native (american) english speaker, so this question feels.. odd? bc ~american~? but as a native english speaker, i absolutely don't mind at all. i love languages and i love letting them into my brain! i myself use words from different languages, especially in what i'm writing is based in another country/place of origin.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

inuyasha! no you cannot see it, it's lost in the ether!

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

Real War is Far Easier (zutaraang, rated M) and Performance Issues (zutara, rated E), which was a gift to the wonderful @zutarawasrobbed! there's a whole universe there that nobody but the two of us know about and i can't wait for the day that everyone can laugh about it as much as we do LOL

∘⋆․⊹․∘⟡˖*⊹ *∘⋆∘⋆․⊹․∘⟡˖*⊹․⊹․∘⟡˖*⊹⊹․⊹․∘⟡

tagging: @nire-the-mithridatist @gemgirl28 @andthedicestopped and @fidget-scribbles ♥

#who is she and what has she done with ky #this was nice and fun thank you!!!! #nanago #zutara #zukaang #about #one of these days i will actually go back to writing castlevania #litarlly blame jjk sorry guys;;; #zutaraang #chayenzo #vincenzo

[amuhav]

Get to Know Me - Sims Style

tagged by @dandylion240 (if anyone else did too I’m sorry, I’m not seeming to get notifs for tags rn???)

tagging @keibea​ because we need more TS3 rep in tag games like this tbh.

What’s your favorite Sims death?

Old age. Because it means my sim actually made it that far and I just love seeing their life play out. Some of the more quirky, simsy ones are great though. Death by Jellybean or Cowplant come to mind lol.

Alpha CC or MaxisMatch?

I... really don’t like the TS4 MM aesthetic 😅 I really don’t like the clay hair look for my own sims, though think some people do wonderful things with it, and I do like certain Maxis Mix styles, good skin details with clay hair, certain stylised MM styles etc. but the default TS4 clay look is literally why I never moved over to TS4 in the first place, and it took too long for the Alpha scene to really take off in the beginning, so by the time there was enough CC for me to feel I would ever want to jump in, it felt too overwhelming to even try moving to essentially a new medium.

For TS3... I also am not a huge fan of the straight “MM” look either, though I think the distinction is less prominent as it is in TS4. You can easily make most “MM” stuff fit in an “alpha” game simply because they aren’t usually full-on clay the way TS4 MM is, they’re just not quite as detailed as full “alpha” CC. Whereas the other way around isn’t quite as true, intricately detailed alpha stuff might look out of place if most of your other content is vanilla or MM. So I think as well as preferring the aesthetic, I like the flexibility a more “alpha” leaning style can bring.

Do you cheat your sims weight?

Storywise, characters are obviously whatever size I make them lol. 

Uh. I don’t know about weight, because I don’t think any of my sims have put on a lot of weight during gameplay. I have definitely cheated muscle levels though. Traumatic flashbacks to Loch suddenly getting BULKED whilst I was letting him run free during Riv’s BC. Absolutely not you little twink.

Do you move objects?

For gameplay, I used to try to minimise doing so just cos it breaks so much routing and stuff. Now I don’t play so I go nuts with MOO. Who needs working doors or stairs or beds anyway?

Favourite Mod?

So many mods for TS3 are kinda essential to even be able to run the game lol, like almost the entire NRAAS suite. I think I’ll have to go with the Remove Stencil mod though, cos being able to undo EA’s weird obsession with shiny clothes by removing the specular is honestly so lifechanging LOL. no more shiny wool jumpers or oil slick jeans 🥰

First Expansion/Game Pack/Stuff Pack?

My first TS3 expansion was Ambitions, because I skipped World Adventures, in fact, I think it was one of the last expansions I bought lol. 

Believe it or not, I do actually own one EP, one GP, and one SP for TS4 lmao, back when I thought maybe, just MAYBE. the game might get better, and I was still trying so damn fuckin hard to force myself to enjoy the actual gameplay. So I have Get to Work, but don’t even ask me what the other two are because I haven’t a fuckin’ clueeeee. 

Do you pronounce live mode like aLIVE or LIVing?

...It just occurred to me maybe it is meant to be “LIV” mode because it’s... like. Living mode. Like, Alive Mode doesn’t make sense. But my brain won’t accept it. doesn’t sound right. Always been “LIVE” mod to me lol.

Who’s your favourite sim that you’ve made?

Oh, jeez. Uhhh, I can’t *really* claim most of my current legacy sims because I didn’t make them, they were born in-game, even if I have tweaked the hell out of them in recent years. So if we’re going for physical appearance, I wanna say actually maybe Sylvie for my TS3 sims? She took so long to get just right, especially because TS3 doesn’t really do curvier sims quite as well as TS4, especially not without a fuck ton of sliders, and I had a really specific look to her face in mind that took forever to get right, had to blend her a custom skin etc. But I am finally super happy with her cute lil sassy round face 🥰 Close runners up are probably Qu or Edge.

God, I’m gonna get so fucking shot for this but here goes. Physically, my fave TS4 sims I’ve made are actually both of Tay’s brothers, Ethryon and Ailos, and also probably father, Qariel. I think because I had a little more experience with using TS4 CAS by the time I got to them, more sliders, more skin details, just generally a fuck ton more CAS CC by then, and more time to tweak them etc. As much as Tay will always be my favourite sim OVERALL... yeah. plznoonekillmebye

Have you made a simself?

Ye. I used to update her like. all the timeee too, whenever I got a new haircut etc. And, ofc, Havoc was my alter ego so she’s like. simself adjacent lol.

Which is your favorite EA hair color?

God I hate EA’s hair colours in TS3. their blondes are so yellow, the highlights don’t blend well etc. always make my own. TS4 hair colours make me want to actually die, but then again, I hate the clay hair and cartoony colours of vanilla TS4 anyway, so.

Favourite EA hair?

Favourite life stage?

Young Adult, with Teens a close second. You can do the most with the YA age, but the chaos of teenage years are real fun too lol.

Are you a builder or are you in it for the gameplay?

I literally can’t play lmao. I have too much CC in TS3 for it to run well enough to play, and TS4... is it even possible to play TS4? joking joking... mostly. I’m in it for the story.

Are you a CC creator?

No. Never. I do not have a CC page I abandoned whatsoever no idea what you’re talking about goodbye. 💀

Do you have any Simblr friends or a Sim Squad?

RBSB represent. 

No I hate everyone equally.

@lazysunjade and @thesimperiuscurse have no choice but to be talked at by me every day. I’m inescapable. 

Do you have any sims merch?

I actually had the TS3 Collectors edition that came with the Plumbob USB and I was devastated when it got broken. Like legitimately heart broken lol. 

Miss her so much I just want her back

Do you have a YouTube for sims?

Ew.

How has your “Sims style” changed throughout your years of playing?

I used to try so hard to stick to whatever gameplay threw at me, following the actual legacy rules, not editing sims etc, all to the detriment of my actual enjoyment of storytelling. Now I care maybe a little too much about how posts look that I get into a rut of not posting oops bye 💀

What’s your origin id?

Probably the same as my username here lol, but I avoid origin at all costs so couldn’t tell you for sure tbh.

Who’s your favorite CC creator?

Oh, way too many to choose. For sims 3 CAS stuff, the still active converters like @rollo-rolls, @vmsims23, @simtanico etc. for build and clutter stuff @kerriganhouse, and @martassimsbookcc for conversions. Honestly, I’m kinda out of the loop atm, but there’s just way too many good creators.

How long have you had simblr?

uh. since 2015, I think? let’s not dwell on it 💀

How do you edit your pictures?

Dunno how to answer this? Photoshop, I guess lol? 

What expansion/ gamepack is your favorite?

It used to be pets, cos I loved having animals in the game. Now I always forget they exist oop lol. Probably Supernatural. 

#tag game #saviourhide #tagged #dandylion240 #this is so long I almost don't want to post it now ugh #delete later

[mineonmain]

Thai QL Favorites Tag Game

Tagged by @telomeke ^u^ slay

Credit: this game was created by @thatgirl4815 as Thai BL Favorites Tag Game.

Favorite Thai QL: Bad Buddy was my first and probably till date my fav. What a way to start. Very few BLs overall have lived up to the unreal standard that this show set, and no matter what all has happened IRL since the airing of the show, this show has a place in my heart that nothing is going to ever replace. It's the show that revived my love and passion for TV shows after years. This show (ep 5 4/4 👀) changed my brain chemistry, without exaggeration. P'Aof i'm chewing on your furniture until you pay for my therapy. [Other favs are MLC, ATOTS, UWMA, Between Us, MSP]

Favorite Pairing: I guess i'll talk about actor pairings but onscreen, not how they are offscreen. EarthMix is absolutely one of my favs, they bring a maturity, natural-ness, and intensity to their acting that I've rarely found in other GMMTV pairings. I'm also gonna mention FourthGem because they're the GMM young blood and I think they've got an incredible amount of potential. We've already seen their range in MLC and MSP, and I think they're going to be huge. I have a huge soft spot for BounPrem (but I may be biased lol), and this may be a lukewarm take but I really enjoyed BillySeng, I thought they had some incredible onscreen chemistry.

Most underrated actor: Oh jeez where do I start. Gotta mention Fourth - he's not really underrated but he's just starting out, but I can already see he's got the chops and with the right training and right directors he's absolutely Going Placed. Shout out to Fluke Natouch, that boy does emotional scenes like no one else. Special shoutout to Tonnam - he's supposed to be starring in his first BL as a main character this year, idk if that's still on schedule or not, but every character he's ever played so far has been a hit in my book. His comedic timing is unparalleled for me, it never fails to hit.

Favorite Character: How do I choose!! Pat Napat is so dear to me??? As is Ae from LBC???? Tutor from Why R U???? Team from Between Us?? I've got so many different little blorbos it's impossible to choose. They're all pocket sized to me. Making me choose is a crime.

Favorite Side Character: Idk why but the first one that comes to mind is View from Between Us. He's absolutely Little Bro, but he's also so sweet and genuine and full of love??? He's annoying bc all little brothers are genetically coded to be annoying but he's impossible not to love. His smile is healing. You can't take him away from me.

Favorite scene in a QL: Bad Buddy Ep 5 4/4. This was the scene that actually broke me. The lead up to the scene, the subtle but deliberate choices that both the characters made. Pat gritting himself to go talk to Pran bc if there's one thing he doesn't do it's avoid people and situations. Pran resigning himself to the conversation bc he can't avoid it any longer. Pat finally saying exactly how he's been feeling less than a business day after he had the realisation himself, bc the moment he feels something and decides it he has to act on it. The music swelling in the background. Pran realising that he's been projecting his fears onto Pat this entire time, that Pat has always feel differently about him too. Pran asking the question to break it all, wording in one way where he was expecting one kind of answer, not expecting that it would be interpreted in an entirely different way and would rock the foundation of their already teetering relationship. Pran asking if they want to be friends, because the alternative would be to be enemies. Pat hearing 'do you want to be only friends', and realising that that would never be enough for the both of them. Pat seeing that Pran is scared, and realising that he has to have courage enough for the both of them. Pat taking the deepest and shakiest breath of his life, swallowing down his fear and trepidation, voice trembling saying 'no'. This is the scariest thing that Pat has ever had to do, but how he'd rather do this than lose Pran again. Them both taking a step towards each other, because this is a decision not of one but of equals, mutual as they have always been. Pat treating this like his first kiss, like a relief of finally knowing the answer to a question that has long plagued him, like the start of something, going into it with utter joy and coming out of it with complete bliss, because the world finally makes sense. Pran treating this like his last kiss, like the end of everything they had ever been or ever could be, like he was going to milk this for everything it was worth because he was never going to get a chance to do this ever again, going into it with fear and desperation, and coming out of it with heartache and resignation, because they had lost everything they had and couldn't get it back. Pat crying tears of joy because he finally found what he was looking for, and Pran crying tears of pain because he got to experience for the first and last time what he would never be allowed to have but had longed for all of his life. Yeah I'm so normal about this show.

Favorite line in a QL: I mean. I literally said it all above, but yeah. 'If we're not enemies, could we be friends?' 'Do you want to be friends?' 'No.'

Most Anticipated QL (& why): I don't honestly know?? But I do wanna see the Thai remake of Cherry Magic, I'm interested in seeing how they're gonna treat it differently from the source show, esp since Thai shows have a tendency to bit more high heat and the original show was all about the tenderness of falling for someone because of their goodness.

Healthiest relationship in a QL: oooh i gotta go for TinnGun from MSP, they're just so lovable. Yes it's a highschool relationship but it was presented so sweetly without coming across as childish, and my boy Tinn is the ultimate green flag. Also even tho I'm not personally a SaifahZon fan (they're not my cup of tea) I think they're incredibly healthy.

Most toxic relationship in a QL: TharnType (i'm mostly looking at you Tharn), most of the KP pairings (the T in Theerapanyakuls stands for needs Therapy), early RainPhayu (i'm sorry but pigtail-pulling on the playground to show you like someone is very kindergarten behavior Phayu), LianKuea (go ahead girlbosses who gaslight and gatekeep).

Guilty pleasure series: I honestly don't know if anything I like counts as a guilty pleasure. Maybe SCOY?? Because I know there's a lot of people who don't like it and find it cringe but I think they're all kind of missing the point. I could write a mini-essay about this show too but i'll save that for another day.

Most underrated series: Ingredients (Baby Jeff!!), My Only 12% (It absolutely deserved more love and hype).

Tagging: @antisocial-burrito @liyazaki @webetterlove @bisexualhedgehog @shortpplfedup @whatisgodtoanonbeliever @onstoryladders @respectthepetty @heesulovebot @gunsatthaphan @incandescentflower @rythyme @elevatormusic @vegaspetesupremicy

#thai bl tag game #thai ql tag game #bad buddy #bad buddy series #earthmix #fourthgemini #between us #my school president #atots #uwma #msp #yall idk what all to tag in this #also if anyone actually read that giant essay in the middle of this tag: i'm sorry and you deserve a veteran's discount #but i have feelings about that scene that has taken permanent residence in my brain #the bgms from that scene have conditioned me to cry to them everytime i hear them #tharntype #kinnporsche #scoy #love by change #why r u #love in the air #phayurain #cutie pie the series #also sorry to anyone if i slandered your favs but guess what!!! it's my opinion and also it's not that deep!! #if you don't like my fav show that's fine!! i won't cancel you!! just don't be mean about it

[freesia-writes]

The Master Post of All the Tags Lately

Jeez, you guys, I feel so stinkin loved. I've been here for literally 3 months and it's just... the best. It's redeemed social media, LOL. So much creativity and fun and humor and just absolute awesomeness.

ANYWAY. I've been hyperfixated on my smutty Crosshair fic collab with @lightwise, so I haven't answered any of the fun things y'all have been tagging me in lately, so I'm doing them ALL AT ONCE. ;)

Last Song: Blinding Lights by The Weeknd

Currently Watching: nothing, can you believe it?!

Currently Reading: The Gospel of Mark and amazing fanfics (I'd tag em but there's too many and I fear missing someone)

Current Obsession: Clones right now. Fanfic writing, sexy clone fanart.

@sunshinesdaydream @rain-on-kamino

My Mood Board/Core/Aesthetic -- Total disclosure, I hand-picked the images to reflect all the sides of me...

@sinfulsalutations @the-bad-batch-baroness

The Latest Line from my WIP:

Crosshair’s hand was suddenly on the small of your back again, warm and deliberate, a life preserver in a tumultuous ocean of emotions and memories; he stiffened as he felt your tension and the slight shudder as you fought to maintain composure.

@clone-anon @annwayne @ladyzirkonia

9 of my Favorite Characters:

They actually are in order from least to most favorite, coincidentally. Although I might switch Gregor and Rex. ;)

@annwayne @techs-stitches @photogirl894

I'm too lazy to figure out the snow globe date thing but I can tell you it'd be me and my man in a forest by a river with a bunch of snack food. @anxiouspineapple99

A scent I love: RAIN

Something I'm looking forward to this week: a super chill weekend with family and a ton of progress on the smutty Crosshair fic ;)

A book I'm currently reading: see above

A game I'm currently playing: Super Mario 3D World or Mario Kart on the Switch with the fam

Most recent movie: I never watch movies. Idk why. But I can watch hours of TBB or TCW, haha. So uhhhh. GEEZ. Honestly, no idea.

Watching anything on TV: not consistently. Occasional episodes of The Office. Taking a break from Star Wars as I'm writing and reading like crazy here. ;)

Favorite season: GARLIC IS A SEASON, @doublesunsets!? You're my hero. I usually say fall (basic white girl) but this year it's been spring. I love rain, green, salamanders, creeks, fog, etc. I was raised in Oregon but am in California now, so it's nice to have glimpses of the Pacific Northwest.

Something I've learned lately: Zoloft can significantly decrease your sexual responsiveness. ;)

Have I had water today? Heck yes. I tote my giant water bottle around everywhere.

Also too lazy to make a picrew, but sending love and hugs to you @thecoffeelorian, haha

Holla if I missed any! XD

[sinelanguage]

20 questions for fic writers

taking from @fivedayslater who tagged anyone for this, i'll also pass around to 'anyone who wants to answer these questions is effectively tagged' but also @lostlegendaerie, @sharpenote specifically.....

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

36! not too shabby considering i'm not super consistent about writing.

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

257,465! wow. jeez.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently One Piece, historically Voltron. 

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

predictably: this is almost entirely Keith/Lance.

Stormchasing: Keith/Lance handcuffed together fic i tried to pace like an actual episode! posting early in the fandom’s lifecycle gave it staying power, lol.

The Hustle: Keith/Lance espionage/heist-ish fic i cowrote with a friend. Really fun premise, and it was fun to co-write something!

Good Grief: Keith/Lance 5+1. i don’t remember anything about this.

Tallies: Keith/Lance 5+1. look… i wrote a lot of these.

Interstate 80: It’s not Klance! Jean/Marco, roadtrip modern day AU. i wrote this as a teenager, and i do not think this holds up whatsoever, but i made a lot of close friends through this fic and i'm fond of it solely due to that, haha.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

i try! i have like, a half-life where if a fic is more than a year old i probably won’t respond because i’ve probably forgotten anything interesting to say. 

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Haha i wrote a hunger games AU for Attack on Titan? i don’t know what possessed me to take Jean Kirstein out of one horribly depressing canon and into another horribly depressing canon. 

Outside of that, i tend to stick to relatively happy or neutral endings. Most recently, Time Turned Fragile probably has the angstiest ending but i’d classify it as bittersweet really, even though Sanji like. dies? look. don’t worry about it

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Uhhh??? this is harder to answer … Inaba’s Self-Appointed Cat Adoption Agency is a fic that is probably the fluffiest thing i’ve ever written and as such has the most feel-good fluffy ending as a result.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

not really! i’ve gotten a-bit-too-bold concrit in bookmark notes, but i wouldn’t really consider that hate.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Nah lol. (gestures to weaknesses answer) it is not my forte, and i’m not super interested. 

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

not typically! I did write Turnabout Heart, which is a brief Persona 5 / Ace Attorney crossover, because I thought Sae being friends with Mia would be neat.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

ah, i found someone reposting my fic to wattpad once (username still attached). i just gently told them it was in bad form lol, it was wattpad in 2017 or so so I’m sure it was just some kid haha. they apologized and deleted it and their other stolen stuff so it’s all good.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope! Someone offered once, but never got back around to me. 

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes! The Hustle from above, and for better or for worst which was a fun last hurrah for Keith/Lance.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

It’s really funny because i’ve never written for any of my all time ships lol. Ike/Soren is maybe my ship of all time. Keith/Lance i’m still stupidly fond of despite myself. i never even finished Voltron.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

this has historically been time loop fics, but I wrote two this year!!!!! Congrats to me!!

Currently i’ve been working on a Robin-centric Robin and Sanji roleswap fic, and while i have a good grasp on the emotional/plot arcs involved it is not easy to write Robin POV lol. i can only write characters who are more emotionally stupid than me. i keep chugging away at it though.

for one I know I'll never finish: I have a brief outline/scenes written for a Professor Sada/Robot Professor Sada (haha. lol. sorry.) fic that would be titled Stochastic Parent as a play on the machine learning term 'stochastic parrot', i.e. the principle that AI does not truly understand language, merely parrots it back to the user. i could not figure out how to write this without being on the nose.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Bizarrely i really like writing action scenes hahahaahaha. It’s one of the few scenes in fic i really fully visualize, so translating that is fun. emotions in a fight are fun too, i like writing fear. 

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

The main one: romance! More specifically though, physical intimacy. hilarious to write mostly romance fic and be bad at it. i’ve been actively avoiding writing kissing scenes for the last 10 fic or so. at this point i’m trying to see how long i can go without one.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Think it’s incredibly neat to see but i don't think i'll ever do it. i feel like i need to return my linguist card for this answer....

19. First fandom you wrote for?

some different answers here: Fire Emblem (never finished or posted online), Harvest Moon (posted on deviantArt and deleted when i scorched my warrior cats username from the face of the earth), and Attack on Titan (first fic on ao3)

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

All time it’s Dead Horizon. i got to write a lot of fun environmental storytelling and horror in that one, and I liked the emotional arc overall. i really like environments/settings in terms of storytelling, and i don’t get the chance to write much of that since i stick with shorter one shots typically. Still very, very fond of it. 

Recent stuff it’s Same As It Ever Was. i’ve wanted to do a Once in a Lifetime themed timeloop for ages but I kept dropping the concept, until now! Finally I wrote a scene based off the ‘not my beautiful house, not my beautiful wife’ lyric! dream come true.

#ask game #personal

[dumbfuck-mojave]

Coming Out to Steve and Eddie as Bisexual (Separate Scenarios)

Franchise: Stranger Things 

Pairings: Steve Harrington x Reader, Eddie Munson x Reader (Can be read as platonic or romantic!! Whatever suits you most <3)

Also Featured: Mentions of Wayne, Robin, unnamed Family Video Customer

Warnings: Food, a really brief mention of the pencil scene from Evil Dead (injury, blood). Eddie and Steve both use petnames but it can still be platonic. 

A/N: Well I didn’t plan on the over a month writing hiatus but I’m back, writing for more Midwestern characters. I wanted to have an undeniable Midwestern thing in this one and that evolved into Eddie being a diehard Puppy Chow fan, and me wanting to write a full fic where he and his partner make it for Hellfire lol. So if you like Stranger Things and my writing style, give me a follow and look forward to that. I also made Eddie specifically unlabeled queer, I was originally gonna make it ambiguous but this is my fic so >:(. And I think it’s funny if he’s a little bitch when it comes to horror movies so I also threw that in lol. I hope you enjoy!! I might do this for Jonathan in the future as well. 

This was inspired by @kaylawritesfics headcanons on coming out to the older ST characters! Make sure to give that post a like/reblog and give her a follow, she was one of the first ST writers I read on my private account and her work is amazing!!

Word Count: 

Steve- 1,368

Eddie- 1,177

@dollyghostface @horrorstolemyheart @kaylawritesfics and @loveronlineee​ who I also read a lot and recall seeing they were okay with being tagged in stuff :))

Support a disabled creator this disability pride month :D

-Steve Harrington-

It was almost closing time when a young woman slipped through the door of Family Video, carrying a stack of tapes the length of her torso. You had your back partially turned to the register and the door, sorting through the new inventory, so Steve had hopped up from the rolling chair he was sitting in to assist her. It had been relatively quiet for the past few hours, and that didn’t change much; The woman had a quiet voice, the sound barely overshadowing the methodic tapping of computer keys as Steve typed and the pirouetting seat of the chair, still recovering from his sudden upheaval. You figured, despite the amount of tapes she had brought in, it would be a relatively quick final task of the day. You were wrong. 

“I’m honestly appalled.”

“Don’t be so dramatic, Steve.” 

“No, Y/N, because look at this!” He gestures aggressively to the partially broken down stack in front of him, then picks one up with flamboyance, “There’s like 20 tapes here! Are we even allowed to rent out that many to one person!?”

“Actually, I don’t think so-”

“AND SHE DIDN’T REWIND ANY OF THEM! Like Jeez, if you’re gonna be a lousy customer at least be only half lousy! Thank God I didn’t just shove them out like I wanted because if I didn’t discover this I would be in so much shit-”

“Aw, you poor baby. Actually having to do your job.” You fake pouted at him.

“Yeah, well, at least I’m doing something productive.” He shot back, even though it didn’t have much fire behind it. It’s rare that he’s genuinely mad at you (Or anyone else, for that matter). 

You looked down at your swinging feet coming in to view over your knees every few seconds or so, having hopped onto the counter after finishing sorting the new tapes into “easy to put out genre piles” for tomorrow. There’s been a bit of delay with your stock recently, and you had gotten triple the amount you usually did in one delivery today so you thought the normal system could change a little bit because of it. Sort it all out today, put it all out when you come in for the opening shift tomorrow. Simple.

“I’ve been productive all day, Steve! I didn’t see your ass wanting to sort through all this bullshit.”

Steve clicks his tongue, “Language.”

“Oh, shut up.”

You both started chuckling at that. You glance over at his stack of tapes, still messy but forming some sense of order as he places the rewound ones back in their own pile. He sighs as he pulls another one out of its cover, changing it out for the one that has just finished rewinding with a pop. 

Your caution blanks on you for a moment, just one moment. But it allows your words to overtake you. 

“Hey, can I tell you something?” 

Oh shit.

As Steve looks at you curiously, you feel like you’re going to pass out, or throw up, or both. You debated on getting off the counter, but decided to stay put so as to not make a fool of yourself floundering to find a new seat. 

It’s not like you didn’t want to tell Steve, you loved him and you knew he would be accepting, but even knowing that information didn’t help the anxiety that blanketed the struggle of trying to build yourself up to this point over the last few months. This wasn’t the way you wanted to do it, you wanted it to happen when you were completely comfortable and secure, maybe during a late night talk or near the end of a long phone call. The still moment in the car as you finally arrive home after a long trip. Anything but this, right now. 

“Yeah, of course? Are you okay?”

“It’s something important.” Once again, not what you wanted to say.

“Alright, but are you okay? You’re looking a little sick there, peaches.” 

You feel a little more life rush back into you as you scoff.

“Again with the ‘peaches’?”

“What, I thought you liked it!”

“When you said it the first time I laughed, that’s not confirmation I like it.”

Steve saunters towards you, “Welllll, you’re laughing now and you don’t look 2 seconds away from dying anymore, so I consider it a win.” 

A small chuckle bubbles up in your throat, “Scoffing is not laughing, Harrington. Now this, what I’m doing right now? Is laughing.” 

“A win!”

“A win because of how stupid you are!”

“Still a win!” Steve had made it over to you by now, leaning back against the counter as he looks up at you. He nudges your knee with his elbow, “So, what do you want to talk about?” 

Nervousness invades you again, and Steve notices as your lips slightly turn down. 

“Hey, it’s okay! I promise, don’t back out on me now. I’m sure you’ll feel better after saying it.” 

He says it with a smile, and you can’t help but silently agree with him. Your gaze diverts to the door and Steve follows it, turning his head.

“Do you want me to lock the door? That way no one will come in, it’ll be just us.”

You nod. Steve moves quickly throughout the store, first locking the door then flipping off some switches so all the outside lights were off and only a few remained on inside. Legs flew in your peripheral as he launched over the counter, nearly falling as he situated himself up beside you. 

“If you would have fallen and broken your face, I would’ve laughed as I drove you to the hospital.” 

“Shhhh,” Steve hushes as he puts his arm around your shoulders, “We’re focusing on you now.”

“Yeah… focusing on me.”

Steve’s brows furrow, “I know what I said a few minutes ago but you really don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

You took a deep breath in, “No, I want to.” 

You pause again, leaning your head on Steve's shoulder as his thumb starts to rub gentle circles into your cloth covered one. 

Finally, you speak.

“I’m bisexual.” You close your eyes and a beat passes. But you have to hand it to Steve, there’s barely any time for you to start doubting before he replies. 

“That…. That means you’re into both boys and girls, right? Just want to make sure before I say anything stupidly incorrect.”

You smile, nuzzling more into his shoulder as his grip around you tightens, “That and the in-between, but yes.” 

“Alright, cool.” You can feel his jaw move against the side of your head as he lays his own on top of yours, “Thank you for trusting me. I’m sorry I don’t have much else to say.”

“It’s okay, you don’t need to say anything.” You nudge your head away from his, looking at his face, “I feel a lot better now.”

He softly smiles at you, “I’m glad. You know I wouldn’t care no matter what, right?”

Shrugging, you respond, “Yeah, but it’s still scary.” 

“Yeah, yeah, for sure. Your ‘secret’ is safe with me.” He sloppily salutes and you cackle, hoping off the counter.

“Alright sailor boy, how about we head out of this joint. The seas await us.” 

“That’s former sailor boy to you. And a fellow employee pressuring me into leaving before I’ve finished all my work? I might just report you for that.” 

“Whatever, I can just get Robin to do the rest tomorrow!” You yell over your shoulder, heading into the back to pick up your and Steve’s stuff as he shuts off the rest of the lights. There’s still dim natural light out, so you see his featureless form waiting for you by the door. He swings it open when you get close enough. 

“I’m really happy I told you, I’ve been freaking out about it for so long.” You look over at him as you both walk towards his car.

“I’m glad you told me too, now I can judge your taste in both guys and girls,” He unlocks the car and finger guns at you over the hood, “And everything in between.” 

-Eddie Munson-

“Home sweet home!” Eddie yelled out as he kicked his leg up to hold the door open, hands full as he gestures you inside with his head.

“Your home, not my home.” You reply as you set your own bags down on the small collapsible table in the kitchen area. You weren’t even sure who had pulled it out, or why, Wayne usually eats a small supper at work while Eddie takes whatever he can scrounge up into his room. Even when there were people over, like you or some neighbor Wayne was friendly with, the meal was eaten while watching TV in the living area, surrounded by hats and mugs basked in the dim overhead light. It was nice. Homey, you thought. 

“It could be our home. What do you say, roommates?” Eddie wiggled his eyebrows at you and you laughed, pulling the last of the things out of your bags and reaching over to unpack Eddie’s. 

“I’m sure your uncle would absolutely adore having another person cramped up in here.” 

“Hey, it’s not cramped!”

“With three people and three people’s amount of stuff, it definitely will be.” 

When Eddie doesn't respond immediately, you glance up and are met with a confused expression on his face while he looks down at his hands, flexing them slightly. 

“Hey, bud, you doing okay?” 

“I’m trying to remember if I forgot anything.” He mumbles quietly, his fingers starting to move as he counted to himself. 

“We picked up the movie yesterday, we walked in just as Steve dropped a tape in front of that group of girls.”

He smacked his hand down on the table, rings clacking together as he pointed the other one at you, “That’s it! I swear, I remembered we did that all day, but it just… flew off right then.”

“It’s okay, I was kind of expecting it.”

Eddie clutches his chest, eyes widening as he gasps dramatically, “Sweetheart, light of my life, how could you say such things!”

You smirk but roll your eyes, taking a slight step back as he tries to throw his arms around you, just to up the dramatics a bit. 

“Light of my life? Seems a bit too Grecian for you, Eds.” 

“Oh, I have more where that came from. I can be one sappy motherfucker if I do so desire to be.” He shoulder shimmies, a teasing look in his brown eyes. 

“Alright, Euripides, let’s get to what we’re actually supposed to be doing tonight.” 

“What?” 

“He was a tragedian in ancient Greece, his play is where the ‘light of my life’ thing first popped up. He wrote depressing shit, I had to do a report on it, let’s move on.” 

Eddie’s body, which had been surprisingly still during your explanation, jumped back into motion at your suggestion. 

“Let’s! So, we got Bottle Caps, M&M’s, Nerds, like six different types of chips, that Puppy Chow we made yesterday after we apparently rented out the movie, let’s see what else....” 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The pencil impales the back of Linda’s ankle, gooey red blood pouring out, as Eddie hides his face into the pillow he’s been clutching and groans.

“Wow, that’s gnarly.” You chuckle as you pause the movie, turning to him. His head shoots up to look at you, a look of disbelief in his wide eyes.

“Are you kidding me? That was awful. That was torture, who would ever want to watch this shit?”

“Uh, you, Eddie. You’re the one who suggested Evil Dead.” You deadpan back.

“Well, I forgot about this scene.”

“If you would just admit you’re a pussy-”

“I AM NOT-”

“Then stop complaining and watch the damn movie, Munson!” 

“Listen, I don’t know what kind of sick fuck you are if you want to watch some lady get stabbed in the foot but I’m really starting to reconsider the people I choose to spend time with right now! I may write some mean shit for my campaigns, but at least I don’t have to visually witness it happening.” 

You sigh, flopping further into the couch, “We can stop if you’d like.” 

Eddie bites his nails in thought, “No, I just want to take a break. I need more Puppy Chow, and can you please not keep it paused at this particular moment.”

“Yes sir, anything you say sir.”

“I hate you.” Eddie mumbles halfheartedly, standing up from the couch as you rewind the movie back and stop on an innocent shot of cards. 

He returns after a brief moment, carrying the rest of the Puppy Chow in his hands. He shakes the bowl out to you in offering, but you decline. 

“I’m good. Have at it, Puppy Chow Fiend.�� 

It’s almost silent for the next few minutes, the only sound being Eddie’s chewing and spring insects outside. But it isn’t awkward, more relaxing than anything. You feel like you could drift off as you close your eyes, surrounded by the warmth of blankets and Eddie next to you. You feel… safe.

“Hey, Eds, can I tell you something?” You peek one eye open, watching him quickly swallow and nod. 

“Of course, anything.”

Sighing, you scoot closer to him, turning so you can be face to face. Putting the bowl on the floor, he mirrors you and holds out his hands. You grasp them in your own, feeling the foreign texture of metal clashing with his rough skin. 

“I wanted to tell you I’m bisexual.” You give him a small smile, and he grins back at you, his eyes lighting up as he processes your words.

“That’s so sick, dude! Obviously, I won’t tell anyone else but I’m happy you found yourself and felt comfortable enough telling me. You already know I don’t care about gender or attraction, whether it’s me or anyone else, so it’ll be nice to have someone else around to talk about that stuff on a personal level with, even if I don’t really use labels.”

“Yeah, yeah I totally get that. It just feels like I can breathe now, you know?” 

“Yeah, I know.” Eddie holds out his arms for you, “Wanna hug?”

“Yes, please.” You hold him tightly, his fluffy hair tickling your face. Your hand reaches up to stroke it, “You know, I should braid this again.”

“After last time? No way.”

“It’s not my fault you tore out the ponytail like a little heathen. If you did it nicely, it wouldn’t have pulled so badly.” 

“Yeah, Yeah, whatever.” Eddie pulls away and looks over at the TV, grimacing. 

“Maybe we should have taken Steve’s suggestion instead.” You giggle, and Eddie raises an eyebrow at you.

“You want to watch Grease?”

You throw your hands up, “It’s fun!”

Eddie scoffs, “All the characters suck! And it totally breaks the realism at the end.”

“Eddie Munson, are you really trying to call out a movie where people break into song constantly on breaking realism?” 

He picks the almost empty bowl of Puppy Chow back up.

“I’m just saying, it would be a little more believable if they just drove away.” 

#My writing #original writing #steve harrington #steve harrington x reader #eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #tw food #food #bi reader #bi!reader #bisexual #eddie munson imagine #steve harrington imagine #stranger things x reader #stranger things imagine #steve harrington fic #eddie munson fic #stranger things fic #coming out #coming out fic

[wifiwuxians]

20 questions writer meme.

tagged by @heyholmesletsgo THANK YOUUU

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

not counting things i'd rather remained anonymous, 21!

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

513,621 lol

3. What fandoms do you write for?

mdzs, vaguely tgcf, hotline miami (though mostly past tense) and we'll see about the future

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Wei Wuxian's Super Special Super Secret Book Club still reigns supreme with 1229 kudos, and will most likely be my legacy despite it being the second fic i ever wrote for the fandom (i think?)

If You're Reading This, It's Too Late with 513, one would think i'd still be messing around with this AU but i'm happy to leave it where it is and just keep messing around with the crackship

Dawn Chorus, my most precious baby, at 251 by some miracle despite being oc/canon. you guys spoiled me with the love for this one tbh. none of my other xue yang centric works got anywhere near this close and i'm at peace with that because he's bonking my oc in this one and they have a kid.

The Book Club Extras at 232, which is hilarious when compared to the original but at least new readers will see there's more and maybe in the year 2055 i will publish them for fun

Frozen Pond with 156 at the end of the list, written for my friend @petitjams and taking place in a silly AU we made together (wen chao stays winning on here which is very funny)

i'm attributing the popularity of the first two to mostly being centered around super popular characters, because my later stuff is naturally better yet struggling haha

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

always unless they're like just emoji, because i like conversation! though i may also reply with a little heart hehe

6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i wouldn't call it angstiest ending, it's bittersweet, but the threads that bind us is my top pick. and it also needs more readers so go read it. your hands and mine has a bit of an 'angsty' ending but only for song lan. xue yang had it coming :p 💖

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

excluding the two above, so far they all have a happy ending, or at least neutral??? i'd say Book Club, though, because that's the massive 'everybody lives!!' silly fixit fic

8. Do you get hate on fics?

nope. i hope i didn't just jinx it. i get hate on art and through anon though! woo! (not anymore on here tho thank god)

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

i do and i feel like it sucks so i almost always end up fading to black LMAO my actual explicit stuff remains private... it's like too embarrassing for me. i got judged for it as an 18 year old and 10 years later haven't gotten over it. i like bondage and bdsm though and that seems to crop up in private 😏

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

i do on occasion! i love roleplaying them, but the only one i have out there is The Way To His Heart Is Through His Stomach (Oh God Please Don't Eat Me), which mixes mdzs and tgcf characters in a unique setting :3

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not to my knowledge, but i've had art stolen plenty so i wouldn't even be surprised

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

yes, a few have been translated into russian!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

NOT YET BUT IT'S IN THE CARDS

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

all time? jeez. somebody tell me why i always freeze up and go blank when asked these simple questions? it's like i forget who the fuck i am. i feel like i should also say songxiao? but they're relatively new so it doesn't seem correct. fuck it. my all time favorite ship is [DATA MISSING OR CORRUPTED-- PLEASE PROCEED TO NEXT QUESTION]

15. What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

haha... (looks at my abandoned hlm fic with the seventh chapter halfway written) haha...

16. What are your writing strengths?

i'd definitely say dialog. it makes sense, since the stuff i'm most used to doing is drawing silly comics. i also like to ping-pong emotions around and feel like i'm pretty good at that too

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

using the same words over and over and feeling like i never write Enough, like everything is always light and never in depth. i don't like making scenes too heavy with padding but i also feel like i need to find a balance

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

i'll do it only if it's a language i speak!!! this doesn't apply to peppering words like gege and stuff just for funsies. i think the best way to go about it is to just tell the audience what language they're speaking in that moment

19. First fandom you wrote for?

we're gonna have to go back to when i was 10 years old here lol... i think it was tokyo mew mew in terms of stuff i put online (oh god)

20. Favorite fic you've written?

it's hard to pick favorites, but i once again must say the threads that bind us in terms of work i'm most proud of.

i tag whoever sees it, plus @sugarapplebaby because ily

#thank you! #my fic #mdzs #i write fic but overall it doesnt really get read as much #so im always glad to advertise hehe thank you!! #i think people generally just want a lot of the same or like very specific ships so its really hard to break through #BUT I STAY SILLY! i love writing and i LOVE when people enjoy what i do #so thank you all

[jozstankovich]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Tagged by @super-unpredictable98 & @merrilark 💚 thank you guys!

1.how many works do you have on ao3? 69 lol tho not all my fics from tumblr are cross posted to ao3

2. what's your total ao3 word count? 852,992

3. what fandoms do you write for? currently: stranger things & fargo fx i've gone through a plethora of fandoms in my time on tumblr

4. what are your top 5 fics by kudos? Hot Gossip (BNHA) Something to Remember Me By (Horizon: Zero Dawn) A Favour (BNHA) I Have a Name, You Know (BNHA) Shared (BNHA)

5. do you respond to comments? why or why not? Yeah, of course! I like letting commenters know how much I appreciate the time they took to leave a comment.

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? I Will Always Love You, Even When it Hurts (BNHA) - the only angst with an unhappy ending I've ever written

7. what is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Oh jeeze, basically all of them have happy endings, tho many of them are unfinished;;

8. do you get hate on any fics? No, not usually.

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind? It's my bread and butter. My go to smut is fluffy smut & porn with plot. I like my smut to be a character study lol.

10. do you write crossovers? whats the craziest one you've written? Rarely. Stranger Things/Bioshock, thanks to @b1tchy3lf :3 It was originally Steph's idea, but I wanted to play around in the sandbox as well.

11. have you ever had a fic stolen? I've had at least one fic plagiarized. It sucked, but luckily the person was willing to cooperate and take the fic down when I confronted them.

12. have you ever had a fic translated? Not to my knowledge.

13. have you ever co-written a fic before? Many! With amazing writers such as @super-unpredictable98, @imagine-you, @stellamancer, @salvador-daley, & @redlippedladyofrohan 💚

14. what's your all-time favorite ship? All my ships are canon x oc. Some of my favourites include: Lewgrove (Billy/Win - Stranger Things) Harringlewgrove (Steve/Win/Billy - Stranger Things) Lewman (Gator/Win - Fargo fx) Bakuae (Bakugou/Ji-ae - BNHA) Bad Kids (Nathan/Win - Misfits) Green Apple Lollipop (Win/Lydia - @super-unpredictable98's oc)

15. what's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Oh jeeze, like all of my abandoned BNHA & assorted Robert Sheehan character fic wips.

16. what are your writing strengths? Depicting emotions, capturing character voice, writing likable & realistic ocs, fitting ocs into canon events seamlessly, flirty banter, & smut.

17. what are your writing weaknesses? Run on sentences lol, dialogue (sometimes), transitions, following through on finishing wips, pacing.

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? I think sometimes it can come off as awkward/annoying depending on how seamlessly its included.

19. first fandom you wrote for? Fallout 3

20. favorite fic you've written? I'm still rather fond of Bad Kids (Misfits), but I'm really loving I Don't Think You Notice What You Did to Me (Stranger Things).

Tagging (w/o obligation): @imagine-you @seancekitsch @b1tchy3lf @heartbreak-sandwich @sugarcookiesteve @birminghamshelbyboys @buckysgrace

#joz.txt #tagged #20 questions for fic writers

[megamindsecretlair]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

I was tagged by the lovely @umber-cinders, TY

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

None. I just made an A03 a few weeks ago and it will take a long time for my brain to figure out how to put my stuff on there LOL. On Tumblr, jeez, let me see. I have 35? So far. I counted my two series as 2.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

Oh lordt, let me see. On Tumblr, I have...roughly 168,964 words across all my fics. YIKES. And I can't even write in my books LOL

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Marvel, They Cloned Tyrone, Snowfall, and Scream.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Sprung - Tyrone

Stay With Me - Tyrone

Sunday - Tyrone

Run it Back - Tyrone

Pray For Me - Franklin

Gonna link my masterlist because why not: Megamind's Secret Files

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes! I love getting comments. I want people to know I appreciate them taking the time to read and comment. I love discussing my writing.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Probably Through the Fire. It was such a sad ending! It had to be done! Someone said "What kind of sane person would write an ending so sad???" Literally made my day as a writer.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Most of them got happy endings LOL. But the one that ended the sweetest, hm, probably...Sunday?

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Nope. I be in my own little corner of the innanet and all my comments and reblogs have been positive! It might change with my Kang fic and I'm okay with that. Block button is my bestie.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

YES! A thousand times yes. So far, they've all been one shot smut fics that resolves itself. I have some pt 2's coming, but I'm so behind on Tyrone asks. I'm sorry!!!! I will get to them, promise.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Never did a crossover. My fandoms are all over the place and the only one to use for crossovers is Marvel and I'm not that confident yet. I don't hate on folks who do, but not the type of fics I be reading.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of and I hope it never does. That's so heartless and unnecessary. Everyone can write. You don't need to steal.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope. That would be a huge compliment though!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nah. But I'm constantly flinging my fic ideas at friends and they share with me. I love it.

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

I'm so not a person that ships, it's terrible. Canon relationships bore me to tears or I know that the writers are gonna do some fuck shit to break them up, so why bother? However, I'm obsessed with Attoye and Janine and Gregory from Abbott Elementary.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Believe it or not, I write fics in the moment and release them in the wild before I have a chance to go back and change everything. I only plot my series. And I plan to finish both series! I've been trying to think of what other series I can do.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think I write dialogue pretty well. I'm able to write things in character and pay attention to their characteristics.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Do we have all day? LOL. Nah, I think scene descriptions are still my biggest weakness. I always put them in a white room and it's hard picturing it well enough to write it down. I'm trying to work on it!

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I haven't done it. Only because Google translate only takes you so far and it doesn't take nuance into account. And I appreciate when there's translations after the fic. It's hard to copy on mobile and put it into Translate to figure out what was said.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

I just started fic writing this year. LOL. I used to say I missed a crucial part of writing culture as a teen. But it was a Marvel Loki fic.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

I can't choose between my babies! But it would probably be my Loki series. One of the chapters I finished, I was like??? Okay, you fuckin' ate that. I felt so proud of myself as a writer, that self-satisfaction is what I'm writing for.

No pressure tags: @soft-persephone @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin @mybonafidefeelings @notapradagurl7 @sweet-potatah-pie @saturn-rings-writes @c-nstantine

#Megaminds tag game #tag game #Tumblr tag game #join in #so fun

[aceofwhump]

Sometimes I find myself just scrolling through your gifs tag and it's always such a treat! It's really impressive how many you've made throughout the years. They're all so gorgeous but especially the ones in recent years! You've improved so much ☺. I'm so grateful for everything you do. Cheers, pal! X

asdfhjkl!! omg thank you so much!!! I was moving around some things on my external hard drive where I keep all the gifs I've made and jeez yeah I've made a lot. It's crazy!! So many gifs!! And thank you! I feel like I've improved a lot. Especially when I look at the first gifset I ever made. It was so bad lol. I enjoy learning new things and new ways to do things on photoshop. It's so fun. I really do enjoy making gifs and I'm so glad you and everyone else enjoys them too! Makes my day hearing that! You're so kind! Have an amazing day!!!

#mod replies #ask #sweet messages

[krankittoeleven]

Fanfic Tag Game

Thank you thank you for the tag @brasideios! I think some things have changed since last time I did this and there's some new peeps around so here we go!

1. How many fics do you have on AO3? 18

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 226,152

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently JJK, Trigun, Assassin's Creed and Final Fantasy 12 (LMAO) are fandoms I have fics in progress for that will likely see the light of day. That's generally what I consider a fandom I "write for".

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

1. But Like a Refugee (Trigun 98, Vashwood, E) 2. Because the Night (Trigun Stampede, Kniveswood, E) 3. we were hungry before (JJK, Nanago, E) 4. Sweets for the Sweet (Trigun 98, Vashwood, T) 5. a prelude to infinity (JJK, Nanago, M, WIP)

Jeez, Trigun and JJK really just told all my other fandoms to move over lol

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yep 99% of the time. If I miss something it's not intentional.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I don't really think I have one posted at the moment. I usually resolve my angst or give a fic at least a hopeful ending. Some things coming down the pipeline might fit in future iterations of this post, though. lol

7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Sweets for the Sweet, probably. It's pure, unadulterated Vashwood fluff.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not specifically on AO3, but I've gotten anon hate here (that seems fic related) and I just snort, delete and move on.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes, these days I tend to write fairly explicit but still vanilla sex. Haven't felt like writing anything particularly wild lately, but not against it.

10. Do you write crossovers?

I wrote a GO/Cosmic Horror fic ages ago that is lost to time and space (fried hard drive and purges). Other than that I have started a ton of crossovers but never finished any. I am however nearing the completion of a Trigun/JJK crossover (Midvalley the Hornfreak/Nanami Kento for the 2 people in the world this might interest LOL) It was supposed to be crack for cracks sake but it became crack treated seriously. LMAO

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

No I don't think so.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Not yet, but maybe soon?! Got asked for permission in regards to we were hungry before, so we'll see if that happens! :D

13. Have you ever co-written a fic?

No but wouldn't be adverse to it. I've done writer/Artist collabs before, though.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

I refuse to pick only one, deal with it. :D Kenren/Tenpou (Saiyuki Gaiden), Ineffable Husbands (GO), Vashwood (Trigun), Kakairu (Naruto), Shaytham (AC Rogue), Ubba/Vili (AC Valhalla), Nanago (JJK), Balthier/Basch (FF12), Ignoct (FF15). Throughout every fandom I will apparently fall face first into the ground for any variation of the stoic introvert/excitable extrovert pair.

15. What’s a fic you’d like to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I will not doom any of my WIPS to that fate. I remain optimistic that I'll finished them all.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Writing dialogue, banter & humor.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I know I have plenty of technical weaknesses with writing, but my true weaknesses are just not executing the idea I started with and terrible follow through/commitment to finishing.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in a fic?

Whatever someone wants to do with their fic is fine by me. I do what I need to do to get certain points across.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Saiyuki

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

We were hungry before (JJK, Nanago, E) and Water of Life (AC Valhalla, Ubba/Vili, E, WIP) because I've put my blood sweat and tears into both of them (lots of tears, for real). Also, they both take me home (JJK, GetoNanaGo, M) because, for once, a fic turned out EXACTLY like I wanted it to.

I will tag @madnessmadness, @beelzebby666, @lifewtr, @akashadarkblade, @troublemakingrebel, @vault-heck. I think most of my other writing mutuals have been tagged. If I missed you feel free to join in, I've truly lost track of who does and doesn't write these days.

#tag game #writing #my fics

[l-lend]

15 Questions

Thanks for the tags (sorry I'm just getting around to this)

1. Were you named after anyone?

Technically, I have the same middle name as my maternal Aunt

2. When was the last time you cried?

Oh jeez, that's like asking the last time I took a breath lol. A few days ago was a bad crying spell.

3. Do you have kids?

Do fur-babies count? If so I've got two boys.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

...yes.

5. What's the first thing you notice about people?

Their eyes.

6. What's your eye color?

Blue

7. Scary movies or happy endings?

Happy endings, 100%. No scary things lol

8. Any special talents?

I almost consider this like an ADHD super power, but when I'm not doing anything I'm structuring scenes I need to write in my head. Dialogue, action scenes, something's always being planned.

9. Where were you born?

Georgia

10. What are your hobbies?

Writing, crochet, I doodle on occasion

11. How many pets?

I got 2 cats: Gatsby (grey boy) and Bilbo (my orange boy). I'll have some cat tax below the cut

12. What sports do/have you played?

I..don't really do sports

13. How tall are you?

I'm 5'. I fit in most people's pockets.

14. Favorite subject at school?

English

15. Dream job?

I'd love to be a writer for a living

I tag anyone who sees this and wants to try <3

Cat Tax

#ask game

[yunarim]

our rainbow-coloured days will advance forward, so shine forever

❤︎ summary : Yuuka, a completely ordinary magicless girl, finds herself in an incomprehensible predicament. Soulmates appeared in the human world only a few decades ago and still have many inconsistencies, but Yuuka's case, to her dismay, becomes rather unprecedented.

Apparently, her soulmate is waiting for her somewhere beyond this world. ❤︎ tags : female reader, soulmates, reader is yuu, sfw, fluff, pining in some chapters, one character = one soulmate prompt ❤︎ ao3

ִ    ꕤ Better than gold | Kalim Al-Asim

⏤ . . . prompt : soulmates leave handprints on the body parts where they first brushed each other ⏤

❤︎ before reading : very rational yuuka for this chapter (she's still sweet lol)

They were red. Kalim remembered, they definitely were red, his cheeks. He was what, five or so, when parents told him what soulmates actually are. 

He was genuinely flummoxed at how many bonds there was ⏤ thousands, millions, myriads! His parents tried to calm him down by heart, but all in vain, Kalim was already investing into finding his soulmate while turning a deaf ear to a teacher assigned specifically for royalty and genuinely devoting himself to teach at least something about economics. 

By the age of ten Kalim considered studying soulmates at the university, but of course nothing is that simple when you have a whole country to lead in the near future. But a little ticklish feeling in his chest was telling him that it would be okay to throw himself at this sweet romantical sensation. 

Jamil would often find his master rolling on an enormously big bed and fantasizing about the very first meeting with his soulmate. Jamil was the very first one who learnt that telling Kalim he may not have his kindred spirit was strictly prohibited. 

Soulmates phenomenon was the one thing which pushed Kalim forward, always giving him extra energy to make the world a better place and just keep on enjoying life when he was feeling down. 

Kalim wasn’t stupid. It’s not like having someone connected to you spiritually was a good thing which could help you to magically resolve all the problems and just let it be, no, Kalim wasn’t dumb. 

No one could say Kalim was stupid when his eyes sparkled with glee and an adamant excitement whenever he saw people. Having someone by his side was just enough. People were his greatest joy, a living panacea, his both sheer and delight.

He used to reread famous stories about princesses and their adventures. He wondered if soulmates existed when these fairy tales were written? Life isn’t some sort of story told with a bit of magic involved, and yet Kalim sunk deep into his thoughts.

Maybe… just maybe, was there a princess waiting for him too?

⊹₊┈ㆍ┈ㆍ┈ㆍ✿ㆍ┈ㆍ┈ㆍ┈₊⊹

Jeez, why was she sneezing so much lately?

Yuuka almost thought she caught a long-lasting cold which progressed to something near chronic, but her friends just brushed it off, chucklind and dropping almost obvious hints that someone thought of her.

“Damn, what am I, a child?” she asked them a little bit nonchalantly, trying to concentrate on her studyings. “I literally have no one to chat with beside you.”

Her friends suggested to broaden her horizons so that she could see a lot of wonderful things, experience love and⏤

Blah-blah-blah, bleugh, the hell? Come on, she wasn’t in a middling drama series. Life wasn’t so bright as it was drawn, so were people.

Yuuka was, so to say… rather exceptive. She had to work hard if she wanted to make it into university, then work hard to earn a lot of money and maybe buy an enormous palace to live in all by herself and, if she’ll get rid of this inexplicable sneezing, she’ll consider raising a cat or two. Such an immaculate plan!

Speaking of the devil, she sneezed again, cursing under her breath and almost throwing all of her copybooks, but quickly collected herself.

Dictionary she was observing before happened to be opened on a page with the letter ‘ s ’ on it.

Soulmate.

They were red, her eyes. Small vessels burst from anger and lack of sleep, causing Yuuka to sigh. Friends, parents, even teachers said it would be a problem if she didn't find her soulmate by the age of twenty. Employment becomes a truly overwhelming process if you do not have stability in a world where soulmates have become the second mark in the passport, overtaking marriage in importance, which was relevant all these centuries. 

Maybe she was too captious. She preferred to think she was rational, always aiming at career success, so why… Why was everyone trying to convince her there were other things to pay attention to when she had an entrance exam to be passed flawlessly soon? 

⊹₊┈ㆍ┈ㆍ┈ㆍ✿ㆍ┈ㆍ┈ㆍ┈₊⊹

Guess exams didn’t matter anymore.

Yuuka was devastated at how meaningless her life had become. What were her dreams about pursuing a career, raising money and buying a palace with two cats? 

Yuuka listened to a suspicious man named Crowley, and even if mother told her to not talk to strangers, there was no better choice. His speech turned into a stream of almost incoherent words, from which Yuuka could only catch that she was in the world of magic and wizardry, like the heroine of a second-rate soap opera, over which her friends sobbed mercilessly, dreaming of being in the place of the main character. 

Screw that, being actually physically forcefully dragged into another world as a matter of fact wasn’t something ever so romantic at all! She had to think about renting a small apartment being from another world, trying to find a job without having a higher education. Well, if she’s lucky, she’ll get a diploma of a magic freaking college, being absolutely magicless herself, so would it mean she would be deceiving her future employers⏤

No, actually, before that. 

What’s with that smell?

The smell of burning reigned in the room, and she hastily looked around. A boy next to her was in panic, his small of the back was literally burning with blue flames.

“Sevens, help me!! Please!”

Yuuka ripped off his ceremonial robe, trying to untie a tight belt along the way, but was succeeded in the end. She patted the boy’s small of the back without hesitation and made sure everything was fine.

“Dude, you okay?” She asked, her pupils still trembling from the mess she had to witness.

“You’re my savior!! Thank you so much!”

Yuuka dared to look at him, now that his rode wasn’t hiding his head with a dark hood. 

Lights were dim, occasional green magical glimmers shone somewhat apathetically, but nonetheless Yuuka thought she saw an epitome of the sun itself.

They were red, his eyes. Widened in curiosity, but still a hint of courtesy almost washed over all the joy, so the boy wouldn’t seem mannerless. They were gleaming warm red as if tiger lilies she saw once in her childhood.

Ah yes, she remembered it now. She was twelve and it was raining hard when she ran away from home, unable to bear reading any more math books. The realization of inevitable nights with a detailed analysis of theorems in geometry tormented her like a Canterville ghost. 

She couldn’t imagine herself doing something so reckless once again in her lifetime, but that tiger lilies she saw in a meadow… Was it even possible to grow wildly like that? She didn’t know, but appreciated the beauty nevertheless.

They were red, her cheeks. Kalim couldn’t tell if she tried helping him so hard she was out of her breath or was it something else, but…

How pretty she was. An amaranth red hue dusting her pretty cheeks felt warm even if he wasn’t even touching them in the first place. Kalim felt like burning. Sure he did considering his small of the back almost turned to ashes a few seconds ago (it wouldn’t anyway but he was delighted to realize he would be okay due to the girl helping him). But no. 

His heart was burning. No gentle warmth he felt when reading those silly little stories for children, no playful lukewarm flashes of happiness when helping people. It was a searing fire, bursting under his ribs and spreading throughout his body. And somehow it felt nicer than anything. 

And maybe a little burning sensation on the small of his back.

⊹₊┈ㆍ┈ㆍ┈ㆍ✿ㆍ┈ㆍ┈ㆍ┈₊⊹

Yuuka somehow adapted to everything. Her new friends didn’t insist on her finding a soulmate, they actually suggested a few quite okay options regarding her future job. They were pain in the ass, but they were her pain in the ass. And they were so absurdly beautiful in their little antics it was just very funny.

It was Ace and Deuce who half-jokingly suggested getting a diploma in beast-training, it was Leona who suggested opening her own restaurant and cook meat for him everyday, it was Azul who suggested her working in Mostro Lounge and never know financial difficulties anymore (actually the last variant was quite a tempting offer, but she politely declined, knowing how cunning Azul can be).

She wanted something different this time. 

What was the point of trying to maintain her usual self when she was in a completely different world, wouldn’t it be okay to have a little fun?.. Just a little?

“Oh, Yuuka, hello!!”

She was sitting on the roof, peering into the cloudy sky and frowning, as if echoing the fluffy gray shapeless clots. She turned when she heard a familiar sweet voice, ignoring her rising heart rate. She was just startled, that’s all.

“Good evening, Kalim,” she answered, not minding the Scarabia dorm leader sitting near her. “Isn’t it a little bit late? I heard Jamil say you’re off to bed by 10 pm.”

“Normally I do,” he replied in a quieter manner. “I just wanted to think a little, but I stumbled on you here.”

“Oh, don’t mind me, I can leave.”

“No, no! I absolutely enjoy having you around, please stay.”

He was sweet, it almost hurt. Yuuka sighed, letting tips of her lips curve in a small regretful smile. 

Kalim was nice. She admired how he was imbued with love for life and for people, when she was so gloomy and rational herself, not even daring to think about the beauties of this world, hiding in the shadows of her doubts.

The air was stuffy, and Yuuka grimaced as she stared up at the graying with every passing second sky, not noticing Kalim's affectionate gaze on her.

“Yuuka, do you believe in soulmates?”

Somehow she didn’t feel disgust at the thought when it was Kalim who voiced it out loud.

“I… maybe I do. I wasn't used to it before, though. Maybe due to the fact I wasn’t in a magic world to begin with,” she chuckled, returning to her seat.

“Good! I do believe too. And you know what, haha…”

“Would be so corny if you say I’m your soulmate.”

It’s not like he was sure. 

He wanted his soulmate to be her. 

She differed from the princesses he read about in fairy tales, she wasn’t wearing fancy dresses and expensive jewelry, she obviously didn’t want to experience an unbelievable adventure with a glorious marriage in the end and live happily ever after. 

Yuuka was simple. It was almost funny how her classmates claimed she was so complicated and captious when Kalim just smiled at her gentle features, admiring her hard work from afar and never mentioning how sweet she was, smiling to him in the corridors before entering a classroom, how delighted she looked playing with Lucius.

How dreary she looked, looking at the flowers in the college garden.

She wasn’t a classical princess at all, and yet he thought he could faint out of joy when he spotted a freaking elegant handprint on the small of his back.

And yet it wasn’t so simple to just touch her somewhere in order to make sure. He saw her as inviolable, absolutely precious and refined gold.

“Yeah,” he smiled. “But it would be fun!”

“Hmm.”

She was smiling.

“It would. Oh…”

He turned his gaze on the sky too this time and realized it started raining.

“Let’s go,” she suggested, giving him her hand to help him stand up.

That’s it, Kalim though, now or never!

Kalim reached for her fingers, almost touching them, but a sudden clap of thunder behind Yuuka made her scream in fear and jump on the spot. Kalim, reaching out to her at that moment, apparently also turned out to be extremely dumbfounded and frightened by her own reaction, so he did not calculate the trajectory and slipped on the wet tile, dragging Yuuka after him.

“Oh Sevens, are you alright?! I’m so sorry!!”

Yuuka thought that now she would lose consciousness, but a powerful burning scalding sensation pierced her shoulders, and she instantly opened her eyes, meeting Kalim's worried gaze.

“O-oh… I’m o-okay… I guess.”

“Do you feel pain anywhere?”

“My shoulders,” she answered, glancing at Kalim first and her limbs second. 

“Oh, sorry, I just drugged you… It’s my fault.”

He quickly collected himself, helping her stand up and almost instantly grabbing her hands again in order to get to her infirmary, but she gently stopped him. 

“This is embarrassing, but please wait a bit..”

She pulled down the edges of her wet shirt and gasped in unison with Kalim.

Fresh bright crimson marks of his palms were imprinted on her skin, a slight light glow surrounded the contours, and suddenly Kalim clutched at his back, hissing from the pain piercing him.

“Don’t tell me…” she whispered, and if Kalim didn’t actually concentrate on her speaking he wouldn’t have heard her due to heavy rain. 

They were red, her cheeks.

“Haha! This is so dumb!” 

They were red, his eyes.

“It is!” 

Yuuka chuckled while Kalim smiled broadly. An ephemeral light feeling filled her lungs, causing her to laugh as hard as she could, and Kalim gladly picked up her high spirits, laughing along with her, creating an orchestra of gentle idyll.

A sudden image of the tiger lilies she saw once popped up in her mind, and she stopped laughing, a sweet warm smile plastered on her face.

Maybe it wasn’t exactly lilies she wanted to witness once more.

“I wish you patience with how rational I am,” she giggled, placing her hand on the small of the Kalim’s back and causing him to blush a little at her playful persistence. “Would you take care of me?”

“Don’t worry,” he answered, a cordial smile never leaving his face.

He pressed his lips to her shoulders, noticing how contours of the handprints stopped glowing and finally took on a calmer shade, turning almost pale and now resembling an intricate tattoo.

She buried her nose in his ozone-scented hair and inhaled the pleasant rainy scent, feeling all her troubles suddenly melt away as the raindrops trickled down his neck.

“Actually,” she said playfully. “I believe you taking care of me should have started from us escaping the rain.”

“Oh please,” he giggled, turning his warm gaze to her. “It’s calming, isn’t it? And after it ends let me show you some flowers! Especially that one of the red colors. I guess you like red!”

She pressed a gentle kiss on his forehead. 

“You’re right.”

She liked the red of his eyes and he fell in love with the red of her cheeks.

Maybe that was finally something fairy tale worthy. 

❤︎ notes : song : better than gold - nct dream

© ayavielle 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐝. 𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭, 𝐜𝐨𝐩𝐲, 𝐦𝐨𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐲, 𝐨𝐫 𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬 𝐚𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐨𝐰𝐧.

#twst #twisted wonderland #kalim x reader #kalim al asim

[brownieracha]

The college experience

Pairing: OC x Lee Know

Genre: college au, angst

wc: 9.5 K

A/N: This is my fic for the clownracha fic exchange (so excited!!) and I got @simpracha as the person I had to write for!!! So the main character is kinda based on Doe uwu (look I tried). My first idea was something completly different, too complicated for me since is the longest fic i've ever wrote, so I hope you like what I ended up writting hehe. I wrote it with all my love <3 I really hope you like it ♥

Sumary: This is your typical enemies to lovers (or at least I've tried lol), where Jess wanted to have her typical college experience, but it got ruined by Lee Know. (i'm sorry i'm bad with summaries)

Tags: @simpracha @wooyussy @georgenootfound

“But I want you to go too” Chaeryeong looks at me with puppy eyes. “It’s not going to be as fun if you don’t come.” I simply sip on my coffee without giving her an answer.

“Come on Jess!” Yeji insists. “We’re going as a group, if you don’t go, we’re not going.”

For the last (seemingly never ending) 10 minutes, they’ve been trying to convince me to go to this random party they heard of on campus. I really, really don’t feel like going. I tell them so.

Also I have way too many unfinished assignments.

“What do you mean if she doesn’t go, we’re not going?” Lia blurts “This is my opportunity to talk to him!” She turns to look at me “Jess please.” I sigh.

I’m seriously about to get dragged to a party just so Lia can flirt with whoever her new crush is this week. I just wanted to have a nice coffee before class and now I’m finding myself trapped in this conversation. Perfect timing for someone to take me out, I think. Violently, preferably.

I really don’t want to go to this frat party. Where’s a bus driver charging at full speed when you need it?

Yeji looks at me with puppy eyes, and I wince. I’m far too easy for them. Their puppy eyes fill with excitement, and they know they’ve almost got me to go.

“I have to think about it” I settle with.

“Oh my god, guess who’s also coming to the party” We look at Ryunjin, who is showing us a random group chat. All we can see is a ofc I’m going! from a random number.

“Girl, I don’t know people by their phone number? Who’s that?” I squint. trying to get a good look at the profile picture.

“Someone you might be interested in.” She wiggles her eyebrows.

If my face could, it would turn into one big exclamation mark with two big fat red circles for cheeks. The girls start giggling when they notice.

“So now you have to come to the party.” Yuna says. “It’s your opportunity to flirt with Hoongjoong” I turn redder, if that was possible.

“Can you keep your voice down? I don’t need the whole building to know I have a crush on him, jeez.” I get up and grab my things. “I’m going to the library now to finish some homework, because I guess we’re going to that party.” I finish putting my things away and I put my jacket on. “But as soon as I feel uncomfortable, we’re leaving.” They all nod.

***

Later that day we all met at Chae, Lia and Yuna’s apartment to get ready all together. We all bring our backpacks with different outfits and makeup because we love getting ready together and sharing clothes. We start drinking and blasting our favorite songs while we look through outfit options. After a couple of hours of laughing and trying on clothes, we end up a little tipsy, but we do end up being ready enough to leave the flat.

Ryunjin is wearing a pair of black cargo pants, paired with a dark blue butterfly top and white platform sneakers. Lia and I are both wearing dresses (mine is red and hers is black), and we’re both wearing the same black converse model. Chae is wearing a beautiful pink skirt with a white crop top and golden heels. Yeji and Yuna end up wearing a very similar outfit, all black, edgy vibes, paired with a leather jacket each.

At last, we arrive at the house where the party is taking place. As soon as we go inside the - host? designated rando? - offers us some drinks.

“What’s in here?” I ask, smelling the cup. The smell of alcohol hits my nose in return, strong enough to make it twitch.

The boy who just gave us the cups shrugs his shoulders and goes back into the kitchen. Oh, okay then.

“If I were you, I would rather drink out of the bathroom sink.” We hear a manly voice next to us.

“Stinks from here, girls. ” I look to my left and see three men standing next to us.

“Woo!” Ryunjin goes to hug the red haired one. “What the hell? I haven’t seen you in a minute! I missed you!” They hug.

The red-haired man is well known by us, he’s been friends with Ryunjin since she started college. They’re both majoring in dance, but Wooyoung is two years older than her, so they don’t go to classes together. 

“You know, I’ve been here and there, doing lots of stuff.” He shrugs with a smile, looking between us and his friends. “Let me introduce you to my friends, but I think you already know them.” He smiles. “He’s my best friend San.” Ryunjin laughs and San winks at her. “And this is Hoongjoong.”

As soon as he introduces the last boy, I feel an elbow poking my side, and I give Yeji a warning look. Zero subtlety, this girl has. Can’t fathom the idea that not everyone wants to be put on blast in front of their crush and an entire frat.

I’ve had a crush on Hoongjoong since I first started college - he was three courses ahead of me and he was one of the students that came into our class the first day to tell us about the course. He even offered his help with anything we could’ve needed. Ever since then -  since hearing how passionate he was about producing and writing music, I’ve felt naturally drawn to him.

The conversation runs smoothly from there. After introducing ourselves, we converge in a relaxed half-circle by the left far corner of the room. It’s fun, and I laugh at the retelling of my friends’ adventures in college and the venture of adult life.

A good thirty minutes must’ve gone by, when Lia and Yuna excuse themselves.

“We’re going to try and find Jeongin.” Yuna informs. “Let’s hope today’s Lia’s lucky day.” She winks, making everyone laugh. And with that they go into the living room.

The group falls into a short-lived silence, not uncomfortable. I take one look at the inside of my cup - I still haven’t thrown it away, I don’t know why. To my right, I faintly register Woo and Ryunjin catching up.

“Jess, right?” Hoongjoong says next to me. “I remember you from your first day. You were asking a lot of questions. You were so eager to start doing things” he smiles at me. My knees nearly buckle when he does.

“Yeah, I’ve always loved music. Ever since I was very little. I started playing the piano when I was a child. My parents say I always had some kind of music on.” I smile. “And if I wasn’t, I’d just make the music myself. I still do that - it’s like my brain is a living jukebox.”

I get a little shy - I usually do, when I’m talking about myself. I instinctively look down. “I ended up settling for a music major, it made sense for me. I have a hard time expressing myself sometimes, but - not with my music.” I look back at him. His eyes look soft around the edges, and I grin back at him. “Plus, it would be cool to make music that means something to someone. Music makes me happy - I want to give that happy back.”

“It’s kind of the same for me” he replies, and he’s still smiling as he does. I repress the urge to sigh lovingly - that would be embarrassing. “Ever since I started writing music, I’ve been able to express my feelings better, and-”

“And he can spend days in the studio working on a song. He’s a bit obsessive about it” a tall man appears behind him and hugs him by the waist. “I have to drag him out of the studio more often than I should.” He laughs. Hoongjoong looks down, biting his lip to repress a smile.

He’s so fucking cute.

“That’s not true.” Hoongjoong whines.

Suddenly, the other man grabs him by the chin, turning his face. Oh.

They look at each other for a couple of seconds. They’re not even doing anything, but I get the insane urge to turn around and avert my gaze. Oh wait.

The feeling flares as the taller man closes the space between them and kisses Hoongjoong.

Well. Fuck.

“Seonghwa! You made it!” Wooyoung greets the tall man. When they hear him, they separate from each other. They greet each other and Wooyoung introduces us to Seonghwa, who apparently is Hoongjoong’s boyfriend.

And apparently, they’ve been together for 2 years now. How could I not know this?

I can feel Yeji, Ryunjin and Chae staring at me from the corner of my eye. Fuck, I’m feeling properly embarrased right now. If I don’t leave right now I’m going to throw up all over Chae’s fancy shoes.

I say goodbye to everyone quickly and go try to find Lia and Yuna. I hope Lia has had more luck than me tonight.

I go into the living room trying to find my friends, but when I turn the corner, I run into a slightly taller man. I immediately stop before I crash into him. I look up to see who he was and apologize for not looking where I was going. To my surprise I find someone I wish I wouldn’t never have met.

“Oh hey, sorry, I didn’t see you there.” I say, and I try to get away.

“Hey! Jess! Wait!” I hear him calling me while I was leaving. “Wait! Can we talk?” I hear him coming behind me.

“I don’t have anything to talk with you” I turn around to face him. “You already said enough  a while ago, Minho.” And with that I turn back around and go away as fast as I can. I really don’t want to talk to him or even be in his presence.

Instead of looking for my friends I decide that it is a good time to go home. Alone. I don’t want to be here anymore. Seeing him reminded me of why I don’t like going to parties. I walk out of the house, and I see my friends as I’m leaving, but they don’t see me, so I decide to leave without bothering them.

Once I get home, I look in the mirror and I see that my makeup has smudged, I didn’t notice I was crying on the way here. I take of the rest of the makeup, put my pajamas, and get into bed, ignoring the calls and messages from my friends. Tomorrow would be a better day. I’m hoping.

The next morning the sun wakes me up, I check my phone to look at the hour and I see the messages from the group chat and calls from the girls.

I call them in order to tell what happened at the party. I press the videocall button and wait, not for too long because they immediately pick up the phone. Since Ryunjin and Yeji share a bedroom at the dorm, they appear on the same screen. They both look okay, they are the responsible ones, I’m guessing they didn’t drink much yesterday. On another screen I see Chae and Yuna, they look a bit hungover. I see myself on the screen and I wasn’t expecting to look this bad. Apparently, I didn’t take off my makeup very well yesterday.

“Woah Jess, are you okay?” Chae asks, “You look like you didn’t sleep well.” I see her worried face.

She’s not wrong though. I couldn’t sleep last night as I wanted to, all because I kept remembering all that happened last year. I was convinced I was over everything, but apparently, I’m not.

“Where’s Lia?” She’s not answering the video call and I don’t see her on Chae and Yuna’s screen. Then I remembered she was the one that wanted to go to the party to flirt with Jeongin, so I’m guessing she was lucky last night.

“Well, she hasn’t come home yet.” Yuna says, waving her eyebrows. So, I was right, she was luckier than me last night. I feel so happy for her, she’s had a crush on Jeongin since we first started college.

“Hey girls” Lia appears on the screen.

“Omg speaking of the devil. Where are you?” Yeji asks. She opens her eyes wide when she realizes.

“Do I have to say it, or do you already know what happened?” Lia whispers. We all laugh. “Let me go to the bathroom so I can talk.”

Once we’re all more calm with Lia’s news, I start telling them what happened. Since Yuna and Lia weren’t there when we met Seonghwa, I told the whole story.

“… so, when they kissed, I went to look for Yuna. And when I was going into the living room, I almost crashed into…” I stop.

“No dramatic pauses, Jess!” Chae exclaims.

“…Minho” They all become silent for a minute. They all know how much he hurt me.

It all happened when I first started college, I was so excited to meet new people, and to party. The whole college experience.

That’s when I met the girls, in my first year. I met Yeji, Lia and Yuna in class, we were paired together for a group project, and we instantly became friends. With that we started to go to parties, and we met Chae and Ryunjin. Yeji and Ryunjin were friends before that because they were sharing a room at the dorm, and Chaeryeong and Ryunjin had met each other in class. They were both doing a dance major. And with that we started going to a lot of parties together and meeting new people at every party we went to. That’s how we met Minho.

One party we went to was at this big house in which eight people lived. We were invited to it because three of our classmates lived there, Han, Changbin and Bangchan. They were known as 3Racha, and they were kind of famous in college for their music. They knew each other before going to school and they were already producing some music. So naturally I talked to them early on when I started the music major. Han and I instantly became friends, and that’s how we got invited to that party where I met the rest of that friend group. They were all very nice, Felix and Hyunjin shared classes with Ryunjin and Chaeryeong so they already knew each other. Minho was also a dance major, but he was older than them. In that party is where Lia met Jeongin and she’s had a crush on him since then.

When I first met Minho, he was nice, and since he was older than us, he showed us around. He made sure we were always safe, and he was almost like our protector. Or that’s what I believed. I started to spend more time with him and his friends, and with all that the eight of them and the six of us became close friends.

One day after a party I started to realize that I was falling for him. I told the girls how I felt about him, and they all encouraged me to go and tell him about my feelings. I wasn’t confident about it until one night.

I decided to talk with him about my feelings and maybe ask him out. I was convinced and maybe a little tipsy. So, I went over where he was, and asked him if I could talk to him in private, since he was with two friends, Han, and another boy that I didn’t know. To my surprise his response was a laugh. I was very confused, because we have talked in private before and I didn't really understand what was going on. I took a deep breath and tried again to make him come with me to talk privately. He didn’t even look at me and started laughing, again, with this other boy and all I heard was “I told you man”. I looked at Han, not knowing what was going on, trying to look for an explanation. I was starting to be mad at him, I wasn’t understanding his behavior. Han looked at me with compassion in his eyes.

“Look, I know you’re obsessed with me or whatever” What! I couldn’t believe what Minho was saying. I’d never seen him behave like that before, he was always nice with all of us, even with me when we were alone. I wasn’t falling for him for nothing. “Do you really think I was interested in you? God, you’re so naïve. Not everyone being nice to you means that they want you.”

I start feeling like i’ve never felt before, my heart was broken and I was humiliated. I paralyzed, not knowing what to do, not even realizing that tears had started forming in my eyes

The other boy and Minho started laughing and Han got up to hug me.

“Man, you’ve fucked up this time, I don’t even recognize you.” Han took me with my friends and told them what had happened, as I wasn’t able to speak. I wasn’t, my brain was still not processing what had just happened. I was really shocked. I wasn’t expecting a love confession from him, I only wanted to talk to him in private. And if he really wasn’t interested, I thought he would have told me in a kinder way. I was sad and mad at him. With that I decided that I didn’t want to go to another party if he was there. I didn’t want to see him anymore. My feelings were hurt. The next day he tried to come and talk to me, but Yeji and Ryunjin didn’t allow that to happen.

I lost contact with some of the boys, since I didn’t attend any of their parties that year. I only talked to 3Racha when we were in class, and I never came across Minho again. Not until last night.

“And when I saw him all the feelings came back, I thought I had forgotten what he had done.” I feel the tears starting to fall from my eyes. “But I guess I can’t forgive him for what he did.” I start crying. 

“Well, fuck him.” Lia said, after they all stayed silent for a minute. “Let’s go grab breakfast all together and I’m sure you’ll feel better.” I smile at her words.

I get up from my bed to get ready for breakfast with them. Being with them always cheered me up when I’m feeling down. So that’s exactly what I needed right now.

Half an hour later we all meet at our regular café place, I’m the last one to arrive there. When I get to the table where they all were I get hugged by all of them at the same time. My tears threaten to start coming again.

“If you need to cry, do it Jess. You’ll feel better after it.” Yeji says after looking at my face.

I laugh while a single tear drops down my cheek.

“I don’t want to waste another tear on that jerk, he doesn’t deserve it.” They laugh. I feel safe with them.

“Of course, girl, he doesn’t deserve anything from you.” Ryunjin holds me by my shoulder as we sit side by side.

“Let’s change the topic, shall we?” Chae claps her hands together. “Ryu, how was last night?” She waves her eyebrows.

“Ryu?!” I turn to my side to look at her. Ryunjin turns red. Another one that was lucky last night. I can’t help but feel a bit hurt, but happy for them. I wish things were easier for me, but since that night I hadn’t had luck with love.

“Well…” Ryunjin starts speaking, turning redder every second, “I met someone…and” she giggles.

“Can you go straight to the point already, please?”

“Chaeryeong, don’t be impatient.” Yeji laughs. “But, who, who did you meet?”

“I met a girl, a really cute girl and we talked for a while” she stops, her face is the reddest I’ve ever seen her. She’s always confident when it comes to flirting and talking about it. “And she kissed me” Ryunjin covers her face with both hands.

“Wow, you must really like her! I’ve never seen you like this.” Yuna chuckles. “Who is this mysterious girl? Do you have pictures?”

Ryunjin shows us her Instagram.

We stay together until lunch time, talking about different things and laughing a lot. At this point I’ve forgotten about Minho and everything that happened last night. I go home to eat something feeling so much better.

Minho POV

I hadn’t seen Jess since last year, so running into her at the party was weird for me. After being so close last year, until I fucked up. I feel so sorry for what I did to her, all I want to do is apologize. So, when I saw her at the party, that was my plan. I overheard the boys saying that she and the girls would be at the party, so I thought that was the perfect opportunity to talk to Jess. But when she ran away from me, I knew this wasn’t going to be easy. I feel so bad for the words I said to her, I really wasn’t thinking and maybe a little drunk. Which doesn’t justify what I did. I wasn’t expecting her to forgive me, but she deserved an apology from me, at least that. I also needed to do it, I needed to heal from my past, and she was the last person I had to apologize to.

The day after I told Jess the horrible things I did, the boys sat me down because they were done with my behavior. I was mad at them because it was none of their business how I behaved.

“I’m old enough for you to tell me how to behave.”  I left the conversation. they were no one to lecture me. But then the next day Han came into my room, and we had a long conversation. I said horrible things to him, and he did to me. We both ended up crying, and when I saw my best friend crying for the stupid things that were leaving my mouth is when I realized that I needed to do something. I apologized to all the boys for what I said the day before, and they helped me find a therapist. Because that’s what I needed.

One year after I changed. And I realized how much I hurt one of the few people that cared about me. That’s why knowing she was going to be at the party was the perfect opportunity for me.

“So, were you able to talk to her?” Han approached me minutes after she ran away from me.

“I didn’t” I look at the floor. “I fucked up so bad, I wasn’t expecting her to forgive me. But what I wasn’t expecting was her running away. I feel worse than before, she deserves an apology.”

“Take it easy and expect her to run away from you.” Han puts his hand on my shoulder “You really hurt her feelings. You can’t picture how miserable she was after what you told her.” Han was still close to her since they shared classes.

“I know! I just want to tell her how sorry I am.” I look down. “I’m going home.”

On my way home I kept thinking about Jess' reaction, and it was clearer that she deserved the apology as soon as possible. The best option to get to talk to her was trying to see her at college. And that was my plan.

A couple of days have gone by since the party and I’ve already forgotten about it. Life went back to normal, going to class and spending time with the girls.

I was going to meet them at the cafeteria after finishing my classes for the day. So after putting all my stuff in my bag and saying goodbye to my classmates, I went there. None of them were there when I arrived so I went to a table and sat there, waiting for them. Suddenly I heard someone pulling the chair next to me, so I look up from my phone, thinking that it was one of the girls. To my surprise I see Minho sitting next to me.

“What are you doing here?” I ask in a serious voice.

“Listen, I want-”

“I don’t care, because I don’t want to listen.” And with that I get up from my chair in order to leave. I don’t need to listen to anything he has to say. He will hurt my feelings once again.

“But, Jess, please-” He looks up, and for a moment I feel sorry for him. But I have to be strong, I’m not willing to go through the same thing I went through last year.

“I’m sorry but I don’t have anything to talk to you about, so please leave me alone.” I go, without looking back at him.

As soon as I’m out of the cafeteria I look for a bench and I sit down. I unlock my phone and look for the group chat to ask the girls if we could meet somewhere else.

I don’t want him near me for now. Seeing him is opening old wounds I thought were closed.

For a moment I felt like he had changed, that he wanted to go back to where we were before. But then I remembered the pain I felt when he said those mean words to me. I will never forget, as much as I want to. I start to remember the good times that we had together as friends, and I start to feel furious. A single tear drops down my cheek.

A few moments later they all arrive at the coffee shop we talked about. When we all have our coffee, I decide to explain what happened, since none of them wanted to ask me why the sudden change.

“So,” I start, finding it hard to explain. Lia, who’s sitting next to me grabs my arm trying to calm me down. “I- He-.” I clear my throat before continuing. “He came up to me, to talk with me.” I finally say.

“Who? Minho?” Ryunjin exclaims. “What did he want?”

“I don’t know” I shake my head. “I didn’t want to talk to him” I look down. “When I saw him there, I thought that he had changed for a moment. Then every bad memory came to mind, so I ran out. I don’t know what he wanted.” I look up again just to see Yeji’s worried face,

“Are you okay?” She asks.

I don’t know what to answer, I’m not really sure. I’m feeling so many things that I’m not sure.

“I truly don’t know” I hold back the tears that are trying to escape my eyes. “I thought I was, until he tried to talk to me.”

“Maybe he wanted to apologize.” I look at Chaeryeong as she said the craziest thing I’ve heard in a while. “I’m just saying! Don’t look at me like that. I know how much he hurt you, but maybe he’s changed.”

“I don’t want to keep talking about him, let’s do something else, please.” I say.

We end up chatting about more fun things. Since Yuna’s birthday was coming soon, we were planning a party.

“We don’t have to throw a big party if you don’t want Jess. I wouldn’t want you to feel uncomfortable.” She looks at me and grabs my hand. “I want all of us to have fun.” She squeezes my hand.

“I’ll be okay, really!” I know Yuna loves going to big parties and what better way to celebrate her birthday other than throwing a big party for her. “I think it will be fun actually.”

And I do think that I would have so much fun at that party. I’ll be with my friends, having a nice time without worrying about anything else. I just hope this party goes better than the last one. At least for me.

“Okay class, we’re going to do a project about music through history. This time I’ll make the pairs so there’s no problems this time.” The teacher looks over his glasses. He looks back at the paper he’s holding between his hands. “I’ll pin this paper on the board so you can take a look at the pairings for this project.” He does that and as soon as he gets away from the board, we all go to check it out.

“Jess!” I hear a voice behind me as I’m checking the paper. “We’re together!” I turn around just to see Han’s smiley face.

We get away from the people that are still checking the paper and we sit together.

“We’re going to do the best project.” Han claps excited. “I’m so happy that I get to do a project with you.” He hugs me from the side.

“Yes!” His excitement is contagious. I’m happy that he’s my partner for this project and not someone I don’t know that well. “We should meet up and decide on how we’re doing this.”

Suddenly his phone starts ringing. “I’m sorry I have to pick it up.” He gets up. “I’ll text you later.” He says as he goes out of the class.

I get up and go back to where I was sitting before, next to Yeji, Lia and Ryunjin. I find Lia and Yeji there.

“Who did you get for the project?” I ask them.

“We’re together for this project!” Lia exclaims. “We were so lucky. What about you? Who did you get?”

“Han! I’m happy to do a project with him to be honest.” I smile, remembering how excited he was to be paired with me. He was one of my best friends but after the Minho incident we hadn’t talked much, but I knew he was always there for me if I needed it.

We go where Ryunjin was talking to a boy from class I don’t recognize, it must be who she has to do this project with.

“We’re going to the cafeteria, are you joining us?” I ask her, hugging her from the side.

“I’ll go in a second, grab me a coffee please.” She hugs me back, and then turns back to keep talking to her project partner.

As soon as we get into the cafeteria, we see Chae and Yuna at a table, so we join them. We all order our coffees and Ryunjin’s. The latest join us five minutes later.

“What were you talking about?” She asks as soon as she sits down and leaves her things on the floor next to her.

“Yuna’s party.” Lia replies. “We have almost every detail planned.” We all nod.

“I have to say that I’m very excited to do this.” Yuna giggles. “It’s going to be epic.” We laugh. She always gets excited to go partying. A few minutes later I hear my phone and I check it, just to see that Han has messaged me about meeting up for the project. I unlock my phone to reply while they keep talking about the party.

I lock my phone and go back to the conversation with the girls about Yuna’s party. We have to plan this well.

“We can go tomorrow to pick up decorations.” Chae suggests.

“I can’t, I’m going to Han’s to do this project about music through history that we have to do together.” I reply. “Can you go without me? I could pick up the cake the day of the party.”

They all agree on that. The party will take place in two weeks at Yuna’s so we still have time to put everything together without forgetting about classes and homework.

Minho POV

I go inside the restaurant where Han and I decided to meet for dinner. After a day full of things, mostly classes and homework, what I need the most is to talk to my best friend. I’m still thinking about the interaction I had with Jess the other day.

When I saw her sitting alone at the university cafeteria, I thought it would be the perfect time to talk with her. And for a second I thought she had somehow forgiven me, for a moment she seemed like she wanted to listen to me. Just for a second. Then she ran away from me once again. I felt a pain in my chest when she did, when she went away without giving me a chance to apologize. When I felt that I realized that she must have felt like that when I rudely rejected her.

“Hey!” Han waves me from the booth he’s sitting at. I wave back and I go there to sit in front of him. “Are you okay?” He asks me as soon as he looks at me.

“Tired day, just that.” I sigh. “I had two different dance classes and that’s exhausting. And after that I had to study and work on a project. I have no energy left to be honest.” I rub my face with both hands.

“Are you sure that’s it? Minho, I know you and I know something is bothering you.” He does know me well. Damn. “It’s this about Jess, isn’t it?” Han is the only one who know how sorry I am for how I behaved last year. He knows what I felt for Jess, and how I fucked up because I didn’t know how to manage my feelings.

“It is about her.” I look down. “I feel awful for what I did.” I look back.

“Did something new happen?” I still haven’t told him about the other day at the cafeteria.

I nod, and I tell him about it. I also tell him how I’m feeling. As I’m telling him that I realize how easy it would have been knowing how to communicate my feelings. If only I knew how to a year ago, good thing the boys made me search for a therapist. I wish I perceived that I had a problem and I had to go earlier in life.

“You have to give her time. She was devastated when you did that. You’ll have to wait until she wants to hear you.” He was there for her, since they were good friends. “For now, keep trying, but don’t push it if she doesn’t want to talk to you. You don’t want her to hate you even more.” He laughs nervously. I know he feels awkward talking about this, and I would feel too.

I stay silent for a few minutes, thinking about everything. About how to approach her in a way she’ll feel comfortable if she can ever feel that way with me again.

“I guess I’m feeling guilty because she didn’t deserve to get her college experience fucked up by me and my stupid decisions.”

“We’ve already discussed this, don’t do that. Self-pity is not going to fix the past, you have to work on the future.”

Next day arrives and I wake up earlier than usual. I have to clean my apartment before going to Han’s house. I hate every second of it, waking up early has never been my thing. I always stay up late finishing stuff that needs to get done.

An hour goes by, and my apartment is somewhat clean, at least clean enough to me. I pack my things and go out to catch the bus to meet Han. Before going into the house, I buy two coffees since I know Han is not a morning person either and his energy is going to be low.

Just a moment before ringing the bell I realize that, if I’m going to be here, Minho is probably going to be around. I take a deep breath putting myself together, he cannot dictate where I can feel or not feel comfortable. I decided at that very moment that he doesn’t matter anymore, that he can’t hurt my feelings again. He doesn’t matter. Did it take me going back to his house to realize that? Probably, and I should have come to the conclusion earlier. But that doesn’t matter anymore.

I ring the bell and I hear voices inside. I can recognize Changbin’s loud voice, so I’m guessing he’s going to open the door. Seconds later I’m greeted by him, opening the door as I predicted.

“Hey Jess!” I hug him, and he hugs me tightly. “Come inside, Han is upstairs.” When I enter their house, I see Bangchan sitting on the sofa, so I go towards there to greet him.

“Jess! How have you been?” He gets up to hug me. I’ve missed this so much. I shouldn’t have distanced myself from them.

“I’ve been good.” I smile. Is this lying? I don’t think it is, technically I’ve been good. And bad. “I should probably go upstairs, I bet Han is waiting for me.”

“Or maybe he’s asleep again.” I hear Changbin shouting as I’m going up the stairs. I laugh.

I knock on Han’s door and enter his room, still laughing.

“What’s so funny?” He asks, turning his head to look at me. He was sitting on the floor, with his back resting on the back of the bed. I go sit next to him, giving him a coffee. “Thanks.” He smiles. He looks tired, he had probably pulled an all-nighter.

“Nothing, just Binnie.” I say between laughs. I put my backpack on the floor in front of me and I take out my laptop and a notebook. “Yesterday I was looking at the notes the professor gave us, and I figured out how we can distribute the work so it’s easier.” I hand him the notebook where I drew a diagram on which part of the project we have to do.

We get into it pretty quickly, just talking when we have any doubts about the information we’re finding. An hour and a half later we have pretty much all the information we need. We just have to put it together and make it look presentable.

“Come in!” Han says after hearing a knock on the door. Right after that Felix’s head pops through the door.

“Hi. I baked some brownies. Do you want to try them?” He offers a plate full of them to us. He’s so nice. I haven’t tried any of his brownies yet, but if they are as good as his cookies, I bet they’re going to taste amazing. “So, how’s your project going?” He sits on the floor in front of us while we eat his brownies.

“I think it’s going smoothly.” Han replies with his mouth full. “It shouldn’t take us long to finish it.” He looks at me and I nod, the project is easier than we both expected so it should be done fast.

“I will leave you then so you can concentrate.” Felix gets up and leaves the room, leaving the brownies for us.

After another hour we decide to stop. The project is almost finished, and we need to take a break.

“Oh, Jess.” I look up from my laptop to look at Han. “Do you want to listen to the last song we were working on?” I nod and he hands me an earphone.

I’ve always enjoyed 3racha’s music, and the whole process they go through to make new songs. I find it very interesting how the three of them manage to synchronize and make such good music. Since I’ve always worked on songs by myself, I find it hard to work with other people.

“It’s really good!” I exclaim after hearing what they’ve got so far. “Now I need to listen to the whole thing.” I look at Han and he laughs.

“I will show you as soon as we finish it. I’m glad you liked it.” He hugs me. I’m so happy that I got paired with him to do this project. This has made me realize how well we work together, and how much I like spending time with him. Fuck Minho for hurting me and making me distance myself from this wonderful people.

“I should get going.” I separate myself from the hug and start putting my stuff back in my bag. He gets up and goes downstairs with me.

When we get to the living room, I see an orange ball of fur looking at us, sitting on the edge of the sofa. I immediately go over there to try and pet the little cat, and he lets me do that.

“Hello, tiny!” I say as I’m rubbing his fluffy head.

“That’s Soonie, it’s Minho’s cat.” I slowly turn around to face Han, my face holds so many emotions and I can see he’s feeling those emotions.

“Don’t look at me like that Jess. I know how you’re feeling but maybe you should let him talk to you.” Rage. Rage is all I can feel right now. Soonie jumps from the sofa he was sitting on to go somewhere else.

“I don’t want to hear anything he has to say, he already said enough a year ago. Don’t you remember?” I spit out my words. I can’t believe he’s saying this to me, he saw how bad Minho made me feel, he was there. I thought he was on my side.

“He’s changed, he’s trying to be a better person.” I roll my eyes at his words “I do remember, but he’s also my friend. He was not in the best place and that doesn’t justify what he did, but at least let him explain.” He shrugs his shoulders. “It’s not my place to talk about this, this is between you and him. I don’t want to ruin our friendship, Jess.” He comes closer and hugs me.

Tears start forming in my eyes and I start crying, I have too many feelings right now to know how to manage them. I just want to go home, get in my bed and curl into a ball.

“Thank you.” I sob.

He separates from me without breaking the hug. “For what?”

“I don’t know, for being here.” I keep silently crying. “This has been too much for me, I don’t want to feel like this anymore.”

The day of Yuna’s party arrives and we’re all very excited. I’ve been feeling so much better after going to Han’s. We ended up talking about a lot of stuff and spending the rest of the day together, and I felt so much better after getting everything out of my chest. Since then, we have been keeping up with each other more, I’ve been to his house more often and I’ve hung out with the boys. All of them except Minho. The third time I went to their house I started to wonder where he was, because it was weird how every time I was there he mysteriously was missing, I mean, is still his house and I thought I would come across him there.

Since that day I’ve been thinking about what Han told me about Minho, not believing him that much. Not wanting to. But the thought that he might actually have changed never left my mind. What if Han was right? What if the boy I felt for was really there? I think subconsciously I didn’t want my feelings hurt again and that��s the reason why I didn’t want to believe Han. But deep deep inside I wanted to.

The party was going to take place at Yuna’s place, so we get there two hours before to get everything ready. Lia and I start placing all the decorations while Yeji and Ryunjin take care of the food and drinks. Chae makes sure to take Yuna out of the house to buy a nice birthday dress and get her hair done. Yuna wants to be the prettiest girl at the party, she wants to impress Jeongin even more. Since the last party they’ve been hanging out together more than usual, and we tease Yuna so much about it. Just like the boys tease Jeongin.

After the place is all decorated and everything is ready for the party to start, Chae and Yuna arrive there. We then start getting ready just like we used to do when going to parties, blasting our favorite songs, and having a fun time together. At nine o’clock people start arriving to the party, Jeongin, Seungmin and Felix being the first ones to arrive. As time goes by more and more people start coming and we start drinking.

“Hey!” I turn around just to see Han and Changbin coming to the kitchen, where I was alone, refilling my cup. “Jess!” Changbin hugs me. He smells like alcohol and cologne. Han goes straight where the drinks are and starts refilling his drink and Changbin’s.

“Don’t you think he’s had enough?” I ask Han, pointing my head to Changbin. Han shrugs his shoulders.

“Are you okay?” He gives me a side hug after Changbin releases me.

I nod while sipping my drink. “I’m doing amazing. I’m having fun with my friends.” I sip my drink again. Well, maybe I’m also a bit tipsy.

Changbin goes back to the living room, Han and I stay in the kitchen for a bit longer, talking and laughing. I don’t really know what joke that I’m laughing about, or if I even understood it. But I’m having so much fun with him.

“I should probably go back with my friends.” I say between laughs. He simply nods and we both go back to the living room.

For the next hour I dance with my friends to every song playing, we take pictures, laugh and in that moment, I feel like I went back to last year when I became friends with them, and we will all go to all the parties that we got invited to. I’ve missed this feeling.

“I’m going to the balcony; I need some air.” I shout to Yeji, and she gives me a thumbs up as a response.

I try to get through the people to get to the balcony and once I get there, I see someone is sitting in one of the chairs there. I don’t pay much attention to who is it and I sit at the other end of the balcony. After a few minutes sitting there, relaxing, I feel the boy that was sitting there come closer to me.

“Hey.” He says in a soft voice, and I immediately recognize him. I slowly turn my head up to look at him just to confirm my thoughts.

“Minho…” I keep looking at him.

“Please before running away, I want to talk to you. You don’t have to answer, you don’t even have to listen. I just need to get it out of my chest.” He looks devastated, and I don’t know if it’s because of what Han told me or if it’s because I’ve been drinking all night and I’m letting my guards down. But I decided to give him an opportunity to talk. He sits next to me.

“Go ahead.” I turn my head back front and keep looking at the view. I don’t want to look him in the eyes while he talks.

“Uh… I… I just want to start saying I’m sorry.” He stops for a few seconds; I look at him for a brief moment and he’s also looking forward. “I’m sorry for what I said that night, I shouldn’t have told you that, it was so mean and I’m really sorry.” I hear him taking a deep breath. “I didn’t even mean those words I said, I wasn’t thinking. And I don’t want to justify myself for what I did, I just think you deserve an explanation.” I turn to look at him, my heart wanting to give him an opportunity, wanting to believe he had actually changed. But my mind is still resistant to believe it. “I wasn’t in the right place mentally and the alcohol didn’t help. I was being mean to everyone, and I wasn’t realizing it. Not until it was too late, and I hurt you.” I see a tear going down his cheek, my first instinct is to hug him, but I retract myself and I don’t do it. “All the boys talked with me that night and at first, I didn’t want to believe that something was wrong with me and that I was hurting people who loved me. After arguing with everyone, Han was the only one that kept trying to make me come to senses. And after a few weeks I reached out for help and started seeing a therapist. I’m still trying to be better, and that’s why I needed to apologize.”

We stay silent for a few minutes, not knowing what to say or do. He then looks at me and my heart hurts, I’ve never seen him like that. His eyes are red and swollen and tears are coming down nonstop. I feel bad for him, I don’t know what he has gone through or what got him into the place he was last year, but now I know it must have been hard for him.

“You don’t have to forgive me but thank you for listening to me.” Minho gets up from the chair and starts walking to the door.

 “Wait!” I get up from the chair and try to stop him from going back to the party. “Thank you.” We keep looking into each other's eyes for a few seconds, just before I break eye contact and get into the party again.

I don’t know how to feel, I don’t feel rage anymore, I even feel sorry for him. I’m starting to understand why he acted how he did, that doesn’t mean I forgave him, but at least I feel better after he apologized.

The last few weeks I’ve been meeting up with Minho and talking more with him. I’ve seen him more often at the house when we went there to hang out with the boys, and we’ve been talking about everything. It’s like we went back to the beginning of last year, but better.

Since Minho had started seeing a therapist, and he had progressed, it made things way easier. He would communicate his feelings and if he wasn’t having a good week, he would just say it.

And that led us to going out on a date. It all started because he invited me over to watch Felix, Hyunjin and him filming a dance they had to do for a class project.

“You’re staring.” I snap back and turn my head up to look at who was talking to me. Turns out it was Hyunjin that was taking a water break. “You can’t keep your eyes off him, right?”

I really couldn’t, he looked so good while dancing that I couldn’t stop staring. My brain was going numb watching him dance and I was having many thoughts I’ve never had about him before.

“You like what you see?” Minho smirks. I didn’t hear him coming where we were. He sits next to me and grabs his water bottle. I smack his arm in response.

I see Hyunjin leaving to join Felix at the other end of the room.

“We should go on a date.” What. I turn to look at Minho. I can’t believe he’s asking me on a date.

“Huh?” That’s all I can say.

He looks at me and smiles, “do you want to?”

Well of course I want to! But it caught me by surprise, and I don’t seem to find the words to express it.

“You can say no if you don’t want to.” He smiles. His stupid smile is making me not think straight.

“No! I mean yes! I do want to.” He laughs. “Don’t laugh!” I smack his arm once again.

I lock my phone and start getting ready for the date. I open my closet and stare at it for a good five minutes, not knowing what I should wear. We’re going to go to a restaurant for dinner, it’s not a bougie restaurant but I still want to wear something nice, but I don’t want to be overdressed. I end up choosing a cute but cozy outfit, I’m going to be wearing a nice black pleaded skirt with a white turtleneck. Since it is cold outside I’m wearing a pair of warm thighs and a pair of white leg warmers covering the black boots I decided on wearing.

I finish the final touches of my hair and makeup, grab my purse and go down the stairs of my building, since Minho has just texted me, he’s waiting for me outside.

As I’m going down the stairs, I start to feel nervous. It hasn’t hit me until now, seconds away from meeting him, that we’re actually going on a date. I check myself once more in the mirror that’s on the hall of the building, before going out.

What should I do? Do I hug him? God, I feel so nervous. “Hi!” He turns to look at me and immediately hugs me. He smells super nice.

“Hi. You look amazing Jess.” He separates himself from me. He looks so handsome. “Let’s go?” I can feel he’s also a little bit nervous and weirdly that calms me down a little.

The walk to the restaurant feels a bit awkward since none of us is saying anything. Once we arrive at the restaurant, we go to the table they’ve assigned. It’s a really nice restaurant, it looks fancy. We order our food and when the waitress leaves our table, make eye contact, without saying a word.

“Hey.” I chuckle. “Are you good? Is everything okay?” He nods.

“I feel like if I talk this moment will vanish.” He says softly and I blush at his words.

“I won’t go anyway.” I giggle and look down.

Why i’m i feeling so shy? I’ve gone on dates before and I liked other people but no one has made me feel like he’s making me feel right now, and he doesn’t even know it.

After that the date goes smoothly, jumping from topic to topic, laughing and enjoying our meal. As the time passed we started to feel more relaxed and more comfortable with each other.

I can’t keep my eyes off him, he looks so handsome, all I want to do is run my hands through his silky hair and hug him tightly. When he smiles he’s the cutest, he looks like a bunny and I can’t help but to smile back when I see him smiling.

We finish having dinner and after arguing on who’s going to pay he ends up winning. “I asked you on a date so it’s only fair that I pay.” He says while putting on his coat and I pout. We walk out of the restaurant.

“Can we go on a walk before going home? Please?” I ask, I don’t want this night to end, I want to be with him for a bit more. He agrees on that and we start to walk in no specific direction, wavering around the dimly lit streets, enjoying each other’s company without pronouncing a word.

His hand brushes against mine twice before I decide to take the lead and hold his hand. His thumb starts rubbing circles on the back of my hand. I start to feel my heart going faster at his actions. We keep walking for a bit, still in silence, until we both stop. At the same time. Like the universe deciding we need to take a step further. I look at him, having to look a bit up since he’s a little bit taller than me, and I find him already looking at me.

“Jess…” That’s all he says right before I stand on my tip toes and kiss him, just a little kiss on the lips. I couldn’t not do it, his look was saying many things.

Then he holds me by my waist and pulls me closer, my hands go to rest behind his neck, having to stand on my tip toes once again. I can only hear my heart aggressively pounding. I close my eyes as he makes me come closer to him, and our lips collide. I bury my hands on his soft hair. Finally. He licks my bottom lip, asking for permission to deepen the kiss. I pull his hair a little, earning a whimper. We separate after a while, when we feel like we need to breathe.

I look at him and I feel happy, like no one has ever made me feel before.

#lee know x oc #oc character #stray kids fic #stray kids #clownracha fic exchange

[overheaven]

💖👻🖊😈🌈(puppy Jiro fic) and 👩‍🏭. And 🍰, 'cause why not! 💜

under the cut because the fics mentioned in here feature the “noncon” and “underage” archive warning tags, and incest ships ⚠️⚰️🕊️

👻 What is one WIP you think you may never pick back up?

oh jeez i have SO many because i often will get ideas for like, a single passage but nothing else. sometimes those take more shape but most of the time they stay dormant in my scrivener files u_u

i was working on a like. weirdly high concept thing about a cyberpunk-ish Hypmic AU where the BBs are androids that Rei’s been engineering. i got the idea after binge-reading Chobits lol so yeah it kind of follows the genre trope of Oops! Sentience! and i like the idea so much but i just don’t rly know what to do with it :P

🖊 Post a snippet from a current WIP.

from a SK8 fic, featuring a human furniture kink from my kink bingo card:

😈 Is there anything you enjoy doing that you think your readers hate?

i wouldn’t rly know what my readers hate (like i answered in a previous ask, i don’t get a lot of comments/feedback so i don’t rly assume anything about my readers, good or bad?) but i do feel a little bit of “sorry i did this. it will happen again.” whenever i post a fic about fem!Jiro LMAO

🌈 What inspired you to write [insert fic here]? (puppy Jiro fic)

oh my god the puppy Jiro fic. i think it was just that i was doing Dead Dove Kinktober and i really wanted to write something weird and yucky! i like body modification, especially when gender changes are involved it just. scratches my lizard brain. puppy hybrids too! so yeah it’s honestly just an idfic auhauhuh

👩‍🏭 If one of your fics was going to get you arrested, which one and why?

LMAOOO honestly my entire reijiro repertoire but it might be “荷物 — baggage.” the puppy jiro one is ICKYBAD because of the extreme age gap and unethical experimentation parts but it’s like SO wack that it’s almost funny imo. baggage is definitely a taboo fantasy but it’s more rooted in reality where forging documents and country-hopping to avoid arrest and kidnapping your favorite son by means of transporting him as luggage are uh. uhhh yeah jail for one thousand years. and i did want it to be a little melancholy and very uncomfortable to read despite how spicy it gets so yeah i guess i’d be an accomplice to Rei’s crimes there PFFFF

🍰 Name one of your fave comfort fics (doesn’t have to be your all time fave).

ok so i don’t really know how to pin down what a “comfort fic” is to me because i mostly read smut and/or dark fics! so i don’t reread things for like “yay warm nice” feels, i reread for “horny dismal pain” feels…

however i read one recently that was absolutely beautiful and is still haunting me in a deeply touching way, like something more akin to bittersweetness? and i want to mention that here! “are you near me? (my door is open)” by paranatellon REALLY captivated me. it has literally all of my favorite things— a macabre setup, body part gifting, eye horror, epistolary elements, Rodrigue as a background character(!!!), gorgeous imagery… the characterization is spot on for everyone, especially Dimitri who is just so very unwell but still treated with so much care and sympathy! i really love this fic!!!

#ask meme #fanfic asks #cw incest