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bakubunny · 5 months

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aaaa u think u could do the nsfw alphabet with aizawa?

this took a hot sec bc i got busy but here u go. 🖤

a-z for aizawa.

aftercare -> if we’re talking after sex in general, he’s cuddly and sleepy. he cuddles a bit, showers with you, maybe grabs a snack if necessary, and after that, he’s stuck to you like glue for a bit. if we’re talking like… dom!shota, he’ll give you what you need and basically just wants cuddles and kisses in return. dom drop takes a couple of days to hit and he doesn’t always notice it; making love & acts of service are the cure, so make his fav meals or take smth off his plate for a little while if you’re gonna have an intense scene.

body part -> shota doesn’t think much of his body. i don’t think he lacks confidence, he just doesn’t care. it’s not a priority other than making sure he can keep up with the demands of his job. if you had to make him pick, he’d probably say his back. i think most people hc shota as an ass man, but for personal reasons i’m gonna say he’s into necks and thighs.

cum -> ugh. i have more ideas than i should put here. he leaks quite a bit and also cums a lot. despite what many might think, he’s a very hydrated man (read: half of his “water” intake is coffee) with a half decent diet (sometimes). probably doesn’t taste great, but also not gag inducing either.

dirty secret -> he’s a dirty panty snatcher. sometimes he’ll wrap them around his dick, other times he just put them to his nose while he jacks off to smell your scent.

experience -> shota’s not like… had a ton of partners but he’s far from clueless. he knows what works for him and enjoys figuring out what works for his partner.

favorite position -> prone bone or modified doggy. maybe modified missionary, interpret that how you want.

goofy -> he can laugh over something that’s genuinely funny, but generally he’s not the one saying the funny things. he’s pretty serious. (erasermic is basically canon. you can’t tell me he wouldn’t secretly love hizashi’s goofiness in bed.)

hair -> i’m sorry, but you cannot look at how this man keeps the hair on his head and tell me he does more than the absolute bare minimum when it comes to grooming body hair, especially if he’s single. it’s dark and he’s got a lot of it. he cleans up enough that it’s not obnoxious down stairs, but no more… unless he’s with someone, then he’ll put in a little more effort for… reasons.

intimacy -> he can be rough and blah blah blah, all that, but he’s a highly intimate person in the sense that you are the only person who sees him like this, and he makes you feel like the only person in the world he could ever be with. (did i mention this mf is possessive as hell in bed? he is.)

jack off -> it’s usually more of a functional “get it over with” thing for him, but when his mind wanders, he loves to think of how you look bent over, what you sound like, how cute your fuzzy-headed face looks.

kink -> he’s got an oral fixation kink - meaning he’s turned on by a partner with an oral fixation though he doesn’t have one. breeding. he doesn’t want his own kids, but he’ll probably blow instantly the first time you beg tell him to breed you or knock you up even if you can’t get pregnant. impact play. he’s not a sadist, but he does think it’s oh so pretty when you whine and your skin changes colors. bondage. i feel like this one’s kinda self explanatory.

location -> bed or bending you over a counter.

motivation -> teasing with just the right look or touch is what really gets him by surprise. also motivated by seeing his partner flustered and needy.

no -> blood play. he’s seen too much shit to want that, and he’d be scared of actually hurting someone.

oral -> shota’s a thigh man, what do you think? 🤨 he’d live between your thighs if you let him. he also enjoys receiving quite a bit, but that’s more related to the oral fixation kink than him being crazy about getting head.

pace -> it changes day to day. many days he’s rough; fast or slow depends on what he’s/you’re feeling at the time. he can be more sensual from time to time if he’s feeling particularly loving/affectionate.

quickie -> he can make it work if you’re okay with a sting and a big stretch. occasionally it’s fun, but not something he usually goes for.

risk -> he’ll try new things if you’re interested in something. may not always think of new things on his own, but he’ll be open about what he truly wants to try once he trusts you enough.

stamina -> he’ll cum once or twice before he’s done, but he lasts a while - to the point where it’s almost frustrating for him. outside of that, he’ll edge or pull as many orgasms out of you as he damn well pleases, and you’re gonna take it.

toys -> shota owns a small, select amount of sex toys he uses on his partner and some for himself. might expand his collection based on partner preferences. bonus some of his “toys” are more of “kink equipment” than sex toys (spreader bar, cuffs, rope, ball gag, high powered wand, etc.), but he also has a small number of plugs and dildos.

unfair -> ask shota how much he likes to tease, and i’m sure you’ll find out. (hint: it’s a lot.) may or may not be into edging and denial, i can’t decide.

volume -> he’s not loud, per se, but he’s pretty vocal. lots of groans, growls, grunts. will talk more if he knows that’s smth you’re into, but otherwise he doesn’t usually say a lot.

wild card -> he likes having his ass played with. dom!shota likes telling his partner to use toys on him and talking them through it.

x ray -> i stand by these hcs, so i won’t go into too much detail here. his clothing hides a lot. his body is strong. he’s not overly lean. he’s got a perfect pretty dick that’s big and a softie you wanna snuggle up to.

yearning -> fairly high sex drive; he’d fuck you five days a week if he had the time and energy, but he’s pretty busy so it’s often less than that. he probably wouldn’t say no to you getting him off or hopping on top, though.

zzz -> unless there’s a shower involved (usually there is), he’s out like a light in minutes. better move quick, or you’ll be stuck in the vice grip of a sleepy cuddle monster before you even get a chance to take a piss.

come get ur mans @dcsiremc.

#y’all sent in requests for the full Alphabet on multiple people so a couple of these are gonna have to wait but this was a good change of #pace #aizawa shouta #aizawa x reader #aizawa shota #aizawa smut #bnha smut #mha smut #bnha x reader #n.sfw alphabet #bakubunny

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alast4r · 24 days

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My Deer Assistant

A/N: Okay just a warning, I haven't wrote a single story or fanfic since 2021 due to lack of motivation and boredome as well the urge to focus on studies first but soon enough I got motivated to write again especially since Hazbin Hotel finally came out after I've waited since well Pilot and all then I got attached to Tumblr and felt inspired and motivated again (Might regret this because of my indecisiveness)

Disclaimers: I am unsure of how Tumblr works fully yet since I am still unfamiliar with some things but hopefully what I'm doing is correct, may be a bit awful since I haven't wrote in a while like I said, this is all fictional blah blah, and please if you just comment nasty harsh shit from your mouth id prefer if you'd keep that to yourself and suck on someone else's dick, furthermore I hope you enjoy as much more than I do.

Pairings: Alastor × Reader

•⑅♡⑅•⑅♡⑅•⑅♡⑅•⑅♡⑅•

“That's all for today's observation, sir,” you said with a keen tone, explaining and sharing the progress of the hotel's improvements and flaws. Dressed in chic yet formal attire, you tucked a strand of hair behind your ear and dusted off a speck of dirt on your skirt. Alastor sat in his seat, smiling silently, until you cocked your head to the side and asked, “Sir? Are you paying attention?” Suddenly, you felt something trip your heels, and you gasped before landing onto Alastor's chest. Looking up at him, he smiled, “Be careful, Mon Chére. I wouldn't want a gorgeous face like yours being harmed. Why are you so clumsy, I wonder.” He teased, holding you firmly at the waist with a cocky grin, irritating you slightly. You grumbled, completely annoyed, “Sir, can you not do your so-called little pranks? It's not entirely fun and can be troublesome.” Unable to finish your sentence, he interrupted with furrowed eyebrows, and you knew he was annoyed, despite the smile on his face. You gulped,

“My dear, I am sure we have spoken about you calling me ‘Sir’ too often. It bothers me and feels inconvenient, darlin'.” With pouty lips, you looked away, “I'm sorry, Al... I just feel uneasy about our relationship, especially since people see me as just your assistant, and work is my priority because it benefits you somehow…”In a quiet and low voice, you attempted to get up, your hands on his chest trying to lift yourself, but he immediately pushed you back down. He traced a finger along your jawline, holding your chin firmly, making you look into his gaze once more with a gentle smile. “Ma Chérie, I truly would prefer if you put work aside when I wish for us to enjoy our private, quality time together. And who cares if you're just an assistant in their eyes? You'll always be my special ‘deer’ assistant,” he said, pushing your head closer to his, foreheads touching as he nuzzled his nose against yours, lips still a few inches away.Mumbling something under your breath, you whispered, “I love you, Al…” He chuckled softly, kissing your lips and replying, “I love you more, my doe,” before you lay your head on his shoulder. He stroked the back of your hair and back, treating you like a little toddler cooing at you while you let out soft moans resting yourself for him embracing the fact he was your special one and you couldn't afford to lose him no matter what.

End.

•┈┈┈••✦ ♡ ✦••┈┈┈•

#alastor x reader #alastor #hazbin hotel #hazbin alastor #reader x alastor #reader x character #fluff #alastor the radio demon #alastor hazbin hotel #radio demon #hazbin hotel fanfiction #hazbin hotel fandom #hazbinhotel

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gurenismywaifu · 1 year

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Is Guren a narcissist?

Lately I dislike Kagami's portrayal of Guren as much as the next person and tbh there's absolutely no way you can make me think he's an innocent victim or a tragic hero we should root for (though I still do root for him cause he's just pathetic and gay I love him). However, the amount of times i've seen both the hispanic and english fandom call him a narcissist is kinda surprising 👀 Now the question is...

So since I'm petty and I like analysing useless stuff, let's take a look at Guren's behavior and at what makes a narcissist to try to give a more elaborate answer. I'll give as a disclaimer that I don't intend to attack anyone or force anyone to like Guren with this post, I'm just a psychology student currently investigating personality disorders and I thought this take would be fun to share.

Also, english is not my main language so do feel free to point out if you see I make any mistake so I can correct it, please ;u;

So for starts, if we're talking about the reasons for why people use to call him a narcissist I believe that pointing out his behavior towards Yuu is a very fair argument, especially his behavior towards Yuu at the beginning of the manga. Guren expresses himself with superiority, these airs and graces and apparent laziness and lack of thoughtfulness. However I believe that if you know how the story in the light novels go and even more if you've read them, you'll realize that all this "I'm your saviour, your god, you owe me your life, blah, blah, blah" crap that Guren tells to Yuu is a way of imposing authority and exerting some kind of control over him.

Guren needed to exert this control and authority as a way to protect himself, his subordinates and his investigations from the JIDA higher-ups, but also to keep Yuu at bay, not only because he was a part of Guren's experiments but also because Yuu used to be a very asocial and volatile kid when Guren took him under his wing. Having an angry kid acting impulsively at his leisure all around the JIDA was not convenient for Guren or for anyone, honestly.

And yes, I'm not gonna deny that Guren is kind of a jerk, but that has more to do with his personality and his sense of humor than with being a narcissist. He's sarcastic, super hard-headed, quite blunt and may come off as conceited, but he's actually extremely aware of all of his mistakes and shortcomings. He recognizes that he is not the smartest or the strongest out there, he knows how powerless he is in the grand scheme of things and most importantly, he recognizes his mistakes and is absolutely willing to take his share of the blame for it.

Sure, he knows that he is a strong individual but that's because he's worked towards the objective of "being strong" his entire life, he's cultivated perseverance and done sacrifices in order to achieve that strength, and while he does like to show off sometimes, recognizing one's merits and being aware of your capacities is hardly the same as having delusions of grandeur. Plus, his motivations are very much oriented to help others, protect others; and although Guren used to have a very strong sense of self-preservation, after the catastrophe he decides to let go of it if it means that it will help him to achieve those goals of keeping his loved ones safe. He starts doing what he 'has' to do rather than whe he wants to do.

After Nagoya's Arc, the shameless and overbearing side of Guren's behavior gets toned down. He becomes more serious, he doesn't play and makes jokes as often and he also stops trying to impose himself to Yuu in the same way as before. There's no need of that superiority facade anymore after all the things that came to light and now that the JIDA poses less of a threat and that Yuu has become less of a subordinate and more of a collaborator, exerting the same authority as before is just not necessary.

And now that we're referring to Yuu, we also gotta point out that a narcissist lacks empathy and doesn't go out of his way to try to help or benefit other people, but Guren does feel affection towards Yuu. When Yuu came to him as a child full of rage, resentment, guilt and lust for revenge, Guren genuinely empathized with him, he took care of Yuu, tried to teach him what he knew and he pushed him to build a support network with his classmates when he didn't really had to do all that. He could've simply taken advantage of Yuu's grief and solitude to control everything about him and force him to collaborate, but he didn't. Even when doing that would've been the best and most practical option for Guren's purposes, he still decided against isolating Yuu. Plus a narcissist wouldn't be capable of the affection and compassion that Guren feels for Yuu. And it is also made clear that Guren does not enjoy using Yuu or hurting him, but Shinya and his squad are Guren's priority, putting his options in a balance, he knows that he has no choice but to keep using Yuu to make his plan work. And it IS selfish and cruel and abusive, we're not going to deny that, but arguing that he doesn't care about Yuu or anyone else but himself is a pretty reductionist (and tbh also incorrect) statement.

Now, let's take a look at Shinya's opinion about Guren, taking into account that Shinya is probably the person who knows Guren the best out of all of the Catastrophe at 16 cast and probably all of OnS.

First of all we have this scene during the Nagoya Arc in which Shinya shows concern about Guren cause he knows that Guren suffers when people die and that he's not good at handling that.

Guren cares about his subordinates, he is saddened by the death of his soldiers and during this arc, he even makes the rather emotional choice of going straight into a trap in order to save other soldiers that Crowley is holding as hostages, even when Mito and Shinya warn him that they shouldn't do it cause it is clearly a trap.

I know there's a lot of material that I'm not covering, but for the sake of not making this post longer than it already is, let's go ahead and just check some of the behavioural criteria that a person has to meet to be diagnosed/classified as a Narcissist; of course, taking into consideration that meeting one or two criteria isn't enough cause it is very likely that everyone will present some of these criteria some times throughout our lives. For a person to be considered a narcissist they must meet various criteria which manifest constantly in various different contexts of their life for most of the time. Some of the criteria include:

•A grandiose sense of self-importance, being it fantasies or behaviors and the expectation to be recognized as superior without real reasons.

In Guren's case, he's not really the type that brags about his deeds or that goes about life expecting people to praise him, specially when there's no reason. The only times one could say that he sort of acts this way is in his interactions with Yuu in the early chapters.

•A narcissist is very often preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love.

Although Guren, does desire power and recognition, he is aware of all he's lacking and beats himself up because of all these things that he knows he isn't good enough to achieve. We can also notice that ultimately, his desire for power originates from his desire to keep his loved ones safe.

•A narcissist believes that they are “special” and unique and they only want to associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions).

In Guren's case, he knows that he kinda sucks. A lot of the people around him belong to a higher status, have a higher military position or are better than him in one way or the other. What Guren does is working towards his betterment. He doesn't believe he's special, in the novels, he even seems to be a bit ashamed about the subordinates in the Ichinose manor thinking that he is a prodigy. We also have that although it is obvious that Guren regards his squad as the most important people to him, and is willing to commit atrocities and become very self-sacrificial for them it is not because 'they are the best' or because they have a high status that Guren's ego can feed on, but just because he loves them.

•A narcissist has an excessive need for admiration

Guren is indeed an admired character, however he doesn't "need" to be admired. Even before the apocalypse, the motive behind his goal was not to be admired but bring respect and dignity to his beaten up clan. He's had plenty of chances to show off, but he just doesn't really needs to be admired for that.

•A narcissist exploits their interpersonal relationships for their own benefit.

This point is a bit tricky cause Guren is undeniably using Yuu and he had the same intentions with Kimizuki and Yoichi to achieve his goals. However, besides from knowing that Guren would not be doing this if there was another way, when we take a look at the rest of his interpersonal relationships, specially with his squad, being exploitative of their relationship for his own benefit is just not there.

Some other criteria include an excessive sense of entitlement, a lack of empathy, constant envy and the belief that others are envious of them, and haughty behaviors, all of which we already tackled before.

So, taking everything in consideration, we come to the conclusion that although Guren has displayed some narcissistic attitudes, overall he does not fit the profile, therefore, Guren is not a narcissist.

This of course doesn't mean that we have to condone all the bad things he's done, but rather may help us gain a bit more insight into Guren's character. Exploring his relationship's dynamics, and other mental health conditions which's profiles he may fit would be fun as well. He is indeed a very flawed character, and maybe that's what makes him interesting.

And that's it, if you read the whole thing, thank you for sticking till the end :) If you enjoyed this do let me know and in the future maybe we can tackle some other ons characters and their issues from a clinical perspective, I would also love to know your opinion on this if you have one or for you to point out any contradictions, mistakes or important things I may have missed to make this post better. Thanks for reading ♡. ❛ ᴗ ❛.)

#owari no seraph #seraph of the end #guren ichinose #ons #gureshin #shinya hiiragi #catastrophe at 16 #yuichiro hyakuya #narcisstic personality disorder #character analysis #ichinose guren #catastrophe at sixteen #sote #guren's squad

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wellnoe · 6 months

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what about emma dies and jean pulls emmas consciousness into her head to keep her alive (for scotts sake?) but now emma is always inside jean and theyre forced to bond until they can build her a robot body to put emma in. and then they kiss? (visavis plausible jeanemma scenarios)

oooh ok i do love a body share/incorporeal person situation.

to me the interesting part of the scenario you've laid out here is like. the jeannie condescension of it all. like i think removing scott as a motivator for saving emma, you have jean doing it bc she's a good person and an x-man and she's not going to let emma die, that's not what she's about. which is prime emma needling material imo, bc i think one of emma's big emotions about jean is that she thinks she sees through all the performance of jean as perfect person/perfect woman, in contrast to emma's own performances. like the identification is there bc they both have an audience and emma knows it and is obvious about it and jean knows it but can't be obvious about it, yk. so emma gets to point out the ways that jean doesn't actually want to save her but can't be honest about it and how she's just trying to show that she's a better person than emma when she isn't the saint she pretends to be blah blah blah. like thats prime je dynamic material to me.

ig the problem here is like. i don't think emma being in a needling position gets us close to kissing territory. emma is good at needling and being cruel and condescending and unflappable, and like. i think she very easily gets to fall back on that here w/out a super long term plot to make that harder to maintain. like we kind of want emma on the back foot here too, right.

i'm almost more interested in the idea of jean in emma's head? bc first of all, to me. jean's anger in this scenario is just funnier. like jean tends toward the explosive, and so i just think her anger w/in emma's head could lead to fun stuff for both jean and emma. i ALSO think that like. ok. so emma has lost her body due to shattering (and had to be rebuilt w jean's help) before. and also emma is like. very into the idea of using jean's image/body? she's an inhabitor and possessor in that way. also i think emma's telepathy is like. more subtle than jean's.

anyway my point is i think jean in emma's body/head is a fun reversal of a couple of plots/set-ups, which could lead to interesting dynamics. i also think that jean's tendency to explosiveness and her sledgehammer telepathy makes navigating being in someone else's head something that has a lot of plot potential? like jean is limited not by her lack of power, but by the possibility of fucking up so severely in her anger that she fundamentally fucks with the stuff keeping her and emma alive (or distinct? that could be fun)

a++++ scenario i will be thinking of it for a long time even if i still struggle w conceptualizing the stuff immediately before the kissing.

#w.ask

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miredinmiddleearth · 2 years

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Rings of Power, Ep. 5 Review - Slowly Losing My Mind

I don’t know if I can keep going. This show has broken me. Here are my thoughts on episode five:

1. Harfoot explains about migrating from place to place, eating food they didn’t plant or nurture or stick around to care for. Gosh, can’t put my finger on why that sounds familiar...Almost like a certain company...

2. Creepy people in white from the trailer are finally here! For exactly thirty seconds and zero purpose.

3. Prediction: Adar (aka orc elf) is related to Gil-galad somehow. Same squiggle armor is worn by both.

4. Summary of my feelings on the middle of the episode: Don’t care. Don’t care. Sloppy. Boring. Dumb. I’d break these thoughts down by scene and characters, but that requires effort, and why should I put in any effort when the show doesn’t, either?

5. The guttural, exhausted noise I made when I realized they were going to have Galadriel spar with the Numenorean cadets. There’s time for this? Also, she steps in to “teach” the cadets how to kill an orc. I am not kidding when I say her lesson is...stab it. That’s it. Stab the orc. Brilliant advice, Galadriel. Really wouldn’t have thought of that.

Then we proceed to watch a terribly choreographed, slow sword fight so Galadriel can look like she’s cool or something? Definitely doesn’t work.

6. Oh good, show that brags about feminism and championing women uses women as set dressing during the table scene. We can’t just have a table of men. We need women at the table. They need character names? Lines of dialogue? Nah. Just sit them at the table.

7. Just when you think the show couldn’t get any dumber, they hereby present to you - Mithril: An Amazon Original Origin Story. Featuring made up Silmaril lore, a balrog, an unnamed elf, a tree, and an accidental lightning strike.

8. Guys. It hurts. The Gil-galad conversation with Elrond goes to places that are too stupid for words. Contradictions galore, mixed up and messed up character motivations, and inventions that totally destroy whatever direction the world could go. Prepare for the stupid:

In this show, the process of elves dwindling has just begun. Why? Don’t ask questions. But boy oh boy, the solution. Apparently their goal is to get as much mithril as possible and “saturate” the elves. I AM NOT JOKING.

What are they going to do? Gather the elves into a circle and rub mithril on their skin? Go to a mithril spa? Shoot a laser beam through a mithril shard at a crowd of all the elves? WHY DOES MITHRIL NEED A BACKSTORY OR SUCH A PURPOSE? WHY IS IT SUDDENLY THE ROOT OF ELVEN IMMORTALITY AND SALVATION THEWERHUWIEFHBALHUIQZ GAH.

ALSO. Let’s remember that this show is largely about the fall of Numenor. In case you didn’t know, Numenor falls because its people grow so desperate for immortality that they seek it in Valinor, and are thus punished in the most extreme way possible. I guess they should have just mined some mithril!

9. Elrond makes a giant deal of not breaking his oath to Durin about keeping mithril a secret, as he should. Then he proceeds to give Celebrimbor the mithril shard and doesn’t count that as breaking his oath. How does this make sense?

10. Two ships get blown up (gosh, don’t get me started on the extreme lack of character motivations), and Numenor has three ships left. Wait wait wait. Numenor. Greatest naval force ever. Island nation. Has five ships TOTAL?

11. Emotional moment between Galadriel and Halbrand not earned. Blah blah blah. I’m terrible at leading. I’m annoying. Yeah we know. We see it literally in every scene you’re in.

12. Absolutely no idea why Elendil’s daughter is here or what she wants.

13. The armor. Look, I don’t understand the choice to give a horse-y aesthetic to the Numenorean soldiers. Horse tails on helmets? For an island nation not known for their horses? Where would they get so much hair? Also, lol, those “nose guards.”

14. Where did Galadriel get the custom armor she wears at the end? She showed up on the island in rags. Are they implying Halbrand made it in, like, a week? Why do I keep asking for basic storytelling competency? Search me!

15. One brief positive: I could listen to Elendil’s delivery of “For Middle-earth” about five million times.

16. You’re telling me they’re bringing 500 men on those three little ships? And the preview for next week implies they’re bringing a whole cavalry of horses, too? Is there an iceberg worth of boat under the water?

Guess what. The episode ends in the same place they started the episode. Numenoreans are gearing up to go to middle earth. All the conflict got us back to where we started. What a great use of an hour to tell a story. I am so done. I don’t think I can do this again. If this is the last time I review, may I just say...

UGGHGHGHGHGGGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGGGGGHGHHHHGGHGHGHGH

#rings of power #rop #rings of power review #tolkien #rant review #jrr tolkien #the ring speaks #lord of the rings #lotr #anti rings of power

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arcplaysgames · 1 year

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Yeah, what's with the formality, Lavenza, remember when I took you to a maid cafe and then defended you from the feral maid that wanted to eat you? We're pals now.

Congratulations to Lavenza for the greatest line read since Mitsuru's "I'M GOING TO EXECUTE YOU ALL." I fucking cackled.

Okay so. I'm flipping through these screencaps again in hopes of collating all the info and summarizing. Hang on.

Mementos is back. Why? Because don't worry about it. (The game basically shrugs on this one, lmao.)

Maruki has a persona and it is able to affect real people, not just cognitions. The power is called Actualization, and is basically him taking someone's desires and making them real by altering cognition.

It should be impossible for an individual to use their power like this on a massive scale, but the death of Yarblegarble left a power vacuum in Mementos, and Maruki slotted himself into place there. So he has godlike powers in the same way Yahtzee did.

Akechi points out that the Thieves had the masses' attention and worship, that's how they defeated Cuphead, so why did that influence shift to Maruki? Turns out Maruki has been consciously or not shifting the cognition of the Thieves through his therapizing, so subconsciously everyone wanted the easy out that Maruki was supplying. yeah sure whatever, that's not more of an ass pull than the Mementos thing

All this only became possible when the Cognitive World and the Real World merged in the finale. Now, the worlds are trying to separate, but Maruki is interferring. They need to finish separating, or the Cognitive World will supplant the Real World and there will be no escape from Maruki's control. We got about a month before things are set in stone.

Okay summing that up actually helped me grok wtf is going on, awesome.

Anyway, back into the Palace, and Sumire gets another persona awakening on top of her original one.

I mean good for her?

I'm really torn on Sumire. Like, as a plot catalyst she's fantastic. But she's been the weakest of the cast for the entire game and I still struggle to care about her outside how crunchy her situation is.

BIG SHRUG.

Blah blah, seems like Maruki has a bunch of data trunk lines running to Mementos, so we gotta go see wtf is up in there.

also i got to see Ann's bedroom/flat and oh my god that's so many clothes that's my nightmare. I mean its super cute but wow.

Good to know she's a Derse dreamer tho.

Her new persona pops and oh my god this is the most scene kid thing I have ever seen, WOW. the mismatched tights, the bubblegum, the double belt. I can hear Paramore playing when I look at this.

Also Lavenza visits Reverie and falls asleep TWICE in one visit. This girl needs a fucking nap, wow.

Anyway, plot. Mementos has a bunch of Maruki's data cables running through it. I do love the shift from fantastical science to the cold reality of surveillance in Maruki's methods.

BASICALLY its complicated, but Maruki is watching over Mementos. To give everyone the perfect life they want, he catches people in Mementos and changes their cognition from there. Without the surveillance, he wouldn't know who to help and how.

So I guess his perfect dream of just fixing the world is more complex than he thought. Sure, he has all of human cognition on tap here, but he still has to handle each case individually with the info he gleans from Mementos. There's still many people who don't have their happy psience yet and that is going to take time to fix.

I do appreciate a lack of subtlety. I hope the intention with Maruki is to inspire some discomfort and reflection in players as they contend with his motives and methods, but also, gamers can be dumb so yes, please just insert a room that looks like it'd fit in The Stanley Parable into this whole narrative to make sure people understand this whole thing is fucked.

Akechi as the repeated voice of "yo this shit sucks" is a lot of fun. When the guy who murdered a bunch of people for his evil dad is calling out your bullshit, that's worth paying attention to.

That said, this random NPC actually says the thesis of this entire story right here. It is here for those who are looking for it.

#p5 #persona liveblog

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luveline · 2 months

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hi jade! i was wondering if you could give me some advice? or at least share your thoughts and feelings about writer’s block and a lack of motivation. i love writing and i love sharing it to tumblr but i experience such bad waves of being unable to produce any sort of creativity and it makes me so miserable! because i want to write but it’s as though i’m too tired to even attempt it. even if i have things all planned out and ready to expand upon, actually having to apply my brain power is just so daunting. do you ever experience this? and do you have any tips or things you do that help you push past it? thank you, lots of love <33

hi lovely girl, I can totally do that!

im exactly the same I love writing and I love sharing it so much, but sometimes I encounter these blocks in my head and I can’t write, and then I’m upset I can’t write, and that makes it harder cos I end up tying my productivity to my happiness! I don’t know if that’s why you get upset too, and if that loop is tiring you out!! like especially for big projects I’ll know exactly what I wanna write but I can’t do it cos I end up thinking about what readers might want or if I’m even any good or if it’s dull !! generally, I try to let myself have those days where I don’t write and ignore the guilt cos it doesn’t work in our favour!! and mind over matter is always easier said than done but I think if you can release yourself from the making= proof of love or maybe making = proof of worth then you’ll be happier, I’m much happier when I don’t think about the big picture

anyways, sorry if that’s a bunch of blah!! When I get misery related writers block, I usually end up starting a new project that I never finish, or rewriting something I didn’t think was worth posting, because it can give me a nice confidence boost to just finish something, even if it’s a slog. But that requires the writers block not being that bad I guess so maybe that’s a silly answer. If I have the type of writers block where I just CANNOT write, I usually end up trying to “refill” the well of creativity with movies and music and stuff, like, re-inspiring myself and remembering that the world is absolutely huge and my experiences (that get kind of boring) are a eight billionth of the actual human experience (which might be a pretentious way to say I try to write like I’m somebody else for a while, try to avoid my commonalities, and go in new directions). Also it’s okay to just do nothing!!! Waste your time or spend it doing stuff that doesn’t amount to a finished product, like watching YouTube videos or going for walks. Also, I love to write poems so I sometimes do that too cos poems can tell a very big story in a small amount of words so it’s less intimidating. I hope this helps, I love you!!

#jade's asks #ily

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astramthetaprime · 4 months

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How about a Switchback?

So yeah.

Mom's back at the nursing home.

Another round of Covid went through last weekend.

I went to see her on Sunday.

And so now we both have it.

It's been mostly just annoying to me, but I'm (relatively) healthy. I do worry about my mother as she's hanging on by a thread at the best of times these days, but I haven't gotten The Call again so I assume she's still on this side of the life line. Admittedly, my normal life consists of spending the vast majority of my week here at Casa Proton, I really only go out on the weekends to get groceries and to have my one meal out a week and to go see Mom. So none of that is happening this weekend but I'll be going to pick up my groceries at WallyWorld later today. The dog needs his food and treats even if I feel completely blah and have no motivation to figure out my menu for this week. So I went with the lowest hanging fruit and it's going to be hot dogs and pizza this week. It'll make a nice change from the hamburgers and pizza it's been the last few weeks.

Autism is all about the safe foods. Not the healthy foods. The safe foods.

Moving right along, y'know that job I trained for 5 weeks for? Yeah. We finished all that work. And now they have me doing something else for which I had half a day's training. Unexpectedly. Then two days later said "nope, need you to go back to the other" and it took me over an hour to remember how to do the original job. Bad with unexpected transitions doesn't even begin to cover it. But this is the real world, right? This is how things work in today's modern offices, it's pivot this and agile that and multitasking and moving onward and upward.

Is it too much to ask to work one job, continuously, for a few years? Like 13 years? Long enough that I can retire?

My mom did the same job for 34 years. I did the same jobs with the Postal Service for 14 and 10 years respectively, data entry and then clerk.

At least I'm working at home. I cannot tell you how beneficial that is from an autistic standpoint. The lack of stress from not driving downtown to work, the lack of danger to myself and my irreplaceable car, the time saved, I log off and in two minutes I'm out in my front yard throwing balls for my dog. I can listen to music or podcasts or audiobooks during work just as I used to do back in my early days at the PO and I'm so damned grateful for that. So grateful.

I know I just have to suck it up and deal -- I haven't said anything to my supervisors. What could I say that wouldn't make me sound like I was whining or demanding special treatment? This is business, this is how it works these days, you either deal or you fall off the wheel and end up homeless and starving on the street. I don't have the leeway to make choices yet. I may never have that luxury, I may inherit nothing from my mother after all is said and done. It's so damned ghoulish to think that way. Anticipating her death so I can benefit from it. We all like to think we're good and moral people but this socioeconomic paradigm makes people inherently greedy. What is "moral" when you can financially benefit from your parent's death?

When my Daddy died, I inherited $6,000. I bought my first real computer and modem. A 286 Bondwell B-310V laptop with a black and white screen and a 2400bpm external modem. This was pre-Internet. I was dating a hacker at the time and he gave me a copy of a dialing program called Telex that let me call up BBS systems. And a copy of WordPerfect. And I was off to the races.

So yeah, kids, I'm older than dirt. Modems used to make noises. Your brain started equating those noises to joyful experiences and fun and suddenly you get dopamine from hearing the most godawful grindy modem tones.

The crazy thing? I still do.

This is still the sound of joy.

youtube

#actually autistic #allaboardtheangstexpress #modem strings bring joy #Youtube

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raayllum · 9 months

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Hi! Just want to say I really enjoy all the posts and theories that you and many others post here on Tumblr. It keeps me guessing!

I saw a post very recently about Aaravos potentially being a giant, and it helped to solidify another theory I have, but I cannot find the post or who it was from anywhere. Basically it said that the underwater area where the “prison” was looked like a ribcage, and the pearl is like a “heart”. Aaravos as a giant is backed up by the stone “playpieces”‘who we know as the other human characters, yet Aaravos picks them up as if they’re the size of chess board pieces and uses them in a game. (Obviously symbollic and I have seen a few metas about this!) but hear me out because this theory (and I am sorry I can’t find the original author) backs up the other theory I have!

What if the Infantis Sanguine spell isn’t for bringing Viren back… but Aaravos himself? (Or both?) because the spell needed the blood of “your” child… and Sir Sparklepuff is the “child” of both Viren and Aaravos… Avos just needed Viren to do the spell for him to bring his body “back to life”, as we already pretty much can gather that he’s somewhere between life and death (the spirit world Rayla visited in TTM is very reminiscent of the colours we can see Aaravos’ prison to have through the mirror). Viren came back for 30 days because of a spell Claudia was given by Aaravos that sacrificed presumably one person, as we glimpsed at the end of season 3- so we already know the price this magic has to pay… and that in Viren’s case, it doesn’t seem to have to be someone related to him (ok, sure, to make it permanent it might require his own blood so to speak). The fact that the prison the gang retrieved is a “pearl” that glows makes me very suspicious that that is actually the prison itself. I recon that is Aaravos’ magic, or power of some kind, which is why he lacks that glowing star in his chest, and why he can’t just “burst” himself out of wherever he is… as that’s what’s been sealed away under the water- his magic.

Which leads me to Sir Sparklepuff- Aaravos needed Viren alive to perform the sacrifice spell to bring Aaravos’ body back. It is BOTH of their child (homunculus?) so who’s to say that will bring Viren specifically back? We already know Aaravos is a master manipulator… I wouldn’t be surprised if the ulterior motive with this is to bring himself into their world, he just needs someone else to push (pull?) from the other side at the same time.

Now, we know that Callum has the “key”, and the gang now has this “Perl”… again, Callum has been foreshadowed a few times to break or smash rare magical items, and I refuse to believe that the great Aaravos’ prison can be simply smashed like a primal ball and he will rise again like a genie out of a bottle. I think that like the prison’s location was broken down into many pieces, so was Aaravos himself, and not one person/ dragon knows the complete picture, expect for the Jailor. Aaravos needs to be “revived” and magically brought back into the world (hence his focus on mages, on Viren specifically- sure he is a useful tool to engage Claudia, but why not rely on her specifically to cast this spell for Viren? Why does Viren himself have to do it (I suppose we could argue that Viren needs to do dark magic for Aaravos to have influence over him, but he’s already done that once post-revival, so it shouldn’t be a problem, right?) EXCEPT for the reason that it has to be the “blood of your child” (blah blah something about Sparklepuff being the bridge between the mortal world where Viren is and Aaravos’ ‘somewhere-in-the-middle’ world theory that’s not fully formed but in my head it makes sense)- so yeah, Sparklepuff is a conduit for this magic that will allow Aaravos to pull himself out of wherever he is and into where a Viren is, through their shared “blood”, simultaneously pushing and pulling to either give Viren permanent resurrection and/or Aaravos a physical manifestation in the real world, which is why Claudia cannot cast this spell. ((Unless Aaravos’ spirit will take over Viren’s body completely until all the pieces of Aaravos himself have been assembled…?!???! Maybe that last bit is a bit too far-fetched of a theory, but maybe this is how everyone will overpower Aaravos as while he’s still in someone else’s body he’s not at complete power? Again maybe too far fetched and I literally came up with that while typing so probably not, lol! ))

I’m curious to hear what you think. Do you really think Aaravos is inside that pearl? Callum’s key is also an interesting factor here. A key to what- I’m sure it can’t be a literal key to the prison. Why would you make a key if you never intent to let Aaravos out? What if it’s a key to finding the star pillar or something like that instead? It certainly can’t have been pointing to the prison as the “prison” was underwater, so that’s pretty useless if that’s the case. It was reiterated many times that no one dragon or elf knew the full picture. Nobody actually knew anything more than what they were told, except Akiyu- but does she really know WHAT is inside the prison? Is it actually him or a part of him? We still haven’t met all the dragons and don’t know what Sol Regem was told, for example. How does the gang have the full picture of the prison, it’s location AND everything else from only three dragons? There are potentially more clues we are missing!

Anyway, sorry for the long message! This is probably the only theory I’ll ever post. I am curious to see what you think! 🤭

Thanks again to you and everyone else for all your lovely theories and metas. I always enjoy reading them when I come across them!!

Hello & thank you for sending in your thoughts!

I don't think Sir Sparklepuff's bloodshed was required for Aaravos' release, especially when he was presumably able to communicate with Viren at any time, and could've subsequently had Claudia on shore as a back up to either 1) do the spell if Viren wouldn't or 2) strong arm her dad into completing the spell. The fact that, if SS's or the blood of one of Viren's children, was all the resurrection spell required means that Aaravos has been manipulating Claudia this whole time, making her believed that she needed to go to a specific place and release him in order to free her father, and that's just not true. I think the manipulation/reality we end up with there is harsher and harder, and a bit more fitting accordingly. It also means, otherwise, Aaravos could've had himself released as soon as SS was 'born', and there's no reason to not want to get himself out as soon as possible.

I also do think that Aaravos is in the pearl given 1) magic can probably shrink things and we know people('s spirits at least) can indeed be trapped or bound to contained spaces, and 2) the white glowy walls we see outside of Aaravos' windows match what the inside of a pearl would look like pretty well.

This is an old pre-S5 meta but it talks about the archdragons so I'm linking it here, but Sol Regem is completely removed from any of Zubeia's flashbacks regarding the prison. Only her, Avizandum, Domina Profundis, and Rex Igneous are depicted, so the kids have each of pieces from the 3 that were entrusted to the archdragons (Zubeia and Avizandum being a pair). So he could have a piece of the puzzle, but it seems unlikely given the framing.

There's also a lot about the Orphan Queen we don't know, but I've long wondered why keep Aaravos' key at all, and suspected that perhaps while she wanted to reveal Aaravos' treachery she didn't fully approve of the direction the Archdragons took with it, given that she seems almost upset in the prison flashback:

The diamond pattern on the clothes of Katolis, presumably started by her line / reign as well, are a perfect match to Aaravos' old diamond patterned crown as well. Her flashbacks with the Key also make it clear that it is, presumably, older than the prison. Which, whether it was ages before or right before he was imprisoned, I believe the Key of Aaravos may hold Aaravos' missing chest piece, and therefore is a double meaning - a literal key to literal Aaravos, perhaps something he wants/needs to be at the height of his powers (and also maybe free?) accordingly.

I'd love to hear more theories in the future if you have 'em, and thank you again for send this one in and for your kind words! <3 Your art is truly a wonder & blessing to the fandom

#thanks for asking #miriiart #deep lore dive #speculation #tdp theory

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writingquestionsanswered · 1 year

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Hello and happy holidays! A mutual of mine recommended me this blog and so far I'm enjoying it!

Anyway, to the question/advice.

I've been struggling with writing for a long time now due to procrastination, stress and other factors. But when I write, the inspiration is there, but the motivation is lacking. So, I ended up writing with little motivation I have.

Like this:

Life at Auradon

Chapter one draft

Anxelin waited anxiously for the bell to go off, so that she can leave this godforsaken class called Grammar.

“Who on earth named this class Grammar?” the Goth girl thought.

Anxelin carefully took out her phone from her khaki pants pocket, and turned on the phone to check the time, under the desk of course.

The time reads: 10:55 A.M.

Anxelin groaned softly. “Just 5 minutes left to leave this class. Why can’t it be now?”

The school year just started and the Goth princess already hates it. She wished she had the power to disappear from this class and appear either in her dorm room or at the Enchanted Lake where she can be more at peace.

Anxellin took a look at her work that was laid on the desk in front of her; an essay of how this year’s summer went for everyone. In addition, the teacher said that the essay should be grammatically correct.

Bollocks.

To say Anxelin’s summer was bad would be an understatement. Over this past summer, Anxelin had to go back to summer school because she failed her physics exam in late May. Anxelin tried her best to explain herself to her parents that she studied and didn’t waste any time whatsoever. Also she never wanted to go summer school anyway but Rapunzel and Eugene insisted that she must go or else repeat her previous grade, to which Anxelin didn’t want but went anyways. She honestly had no idea how she failed and she studied hard for two weeks with her friends just to get a D on her exam result. Just perfect.

Anxelin quietly slid her phone back into her pants pocket before any nosy kid sees her with it because God forbid if someone saw Anxelin using her phone in class, they would report her and she would be sent to the Headmaster Godmother’s office. And Anxelin couldn’t bother to hear a long lecture about how you’re not supposed to use your phone during class, blah, blah, blah.

Geez, she only took out the phone because she wanted to check the time, as she forgot about her watch this morning due to rush. Give her a break.

In addition, I feel like my writing isn't good enough.

What do you think of my little writing and do you have any advice for a struggling writer like me?

Writing is hard.

But, the fact that you're inspired to write is a step in the right direction! And your writing isn't bad for a beginner. You slip from past-tense into present-tense a few times, but your prose is at a reasonable place for someone who is at the beginning of their writing journey.

It's very likely the procrastination and stress you're feeling in relation to writing is being caused by confidence issues, which are very demotivating. This is normal and it's normal to feel like your writing isn't good enough. Most writers experience these feelings, especially when they're starting out.

Unfortunately, the only way to improve your writing and your confidence is to push through those feelings and write. You become a good writer through practice, and you practice through writing.

Watch this video:

youtube

So, push past your fears and write. Create a large volume of work. You'll get better and better with each and every story you write and complete.

Best of luck to you, and please let me know if you have more questions! ♥

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callmearcturus · 11 months

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@thatscarletflycatcher replied to your post “@malewifebillcage replied to your post “I CANNOT...”:

I don't hate MI3 (tbh, I don't hate ANY of the MI movies) but it is the one I like the less. I think it is overall a better movie than MI2 simply by reigning in the nonsense, reigning in the masks, understanding that Ethan does not work as a playboybond type character, going back to female characters being more than sexy lamp love interests… PSH elevates the movie, the introduction of Benji was a good choice… but it isn't FUN. MI2 is FUNTM. Taken in and of itself, the writing goes from blah to bad, it's formulaic (even for this type of movie), and introduces certain dark, desperate, cliched tensions that don't fit with the tone of the MI movies as a whole. Not even MI1 is this tense… and for what? But also I understand how retrospectively MI4-6 elevated several of its mediocrities.

cw for full negativity mode here, sorry MI3 fans

I mean, I was very hyped for PSH and I do think he's one of the best parts of the movie for sure, but there is literally no writing there. that's what I mean about the script, like, Cruise and Hoffman and Rhames and Monaghan are giving it their all but there's so little to work with. like, PSH is... he's giving 100% but like Owen Davian is a void of motivation. He has none, there's no reason he's such a motherfucker, his entire character is "I'm the bad guy" which just... is really hard to swallow when compared to Phelps and Claire, Solomon, even Colbalt has purpose behind his shit when he was so not the focus of the movie. Davian just.....

I only think one of Benji's scenes is good, like the antigod speech made me want to claw my eyes out, it's so bad. But when Ethan and Benji have back and forth over the phone, that had charm and chemistry.

And there's multiple points where, as a writer, I can see the strain of the script. I make fun of the inexplicable IMF-Issued Unsexy Bondage Mask but I know why it's there, because if Ethan could say anything the whole plot would unravel. And when Ethan is alone with Musgrave in Shanghai and he just..... spills the entire plot to Ethan and lays out his motivations, like that's another function of the weakness of the story.

AND THEN ON TOP OF ALL THAT is the atrocious moment to moment writing. all those lines like the weird incest joke. AND THEN the complete lack of establishment of the team. I remember when Maggie Q had that nice little moment about the prayer to bring her cat back. I literally said to my friends "that would be a nice character beat if I remembered her fucking character's name."

I'm not even touching on cinematography/lighting here because that's a WHOLE other post but my point is that all the good character moments are completely thanks to the cast bringing their A game to a Z tier script and it drives me up the fucking wall.

SLAMS FISTS ON THE TABLE

I COULD RUN A CLINIC ON THIS GODDAMN SCRIPT OKAY

sorry that's it i've exorcised my emotions now

#mission impossible #cw negativity

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seafoamchild · 4 months

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january is a rough month. it feels like it's been january for like 3 weeks but it's only the 9th. the grey skies and general lack of color and warmth really gets me down. i feel like i'm always tired no matter how much i sleep. i feel so lacking in energy and motivation. and i feel so ugly too. i started using retinol on my face and i'm going through the "purge" period where my skin is breaking out. i really hope it'll get better after this. cuz having acne again is not chill. i'm not as self conscious about it as i once was, but i really do feel a little ugly. and i'm still reckoning with the changes in my body. i've definitely gained weight and sometimes i feel okay about it and other times (like now) i just can't believe it and i get into these shame spirals. i'm going to the gym a lot and still eating relatively well but i just feel very unattractive and blah.

i'm doing dry january too and i'm not sure if it's the right choice but i'm going to try it. it's only january 9th and i feel like it's been SO LONG and i want to drink SO BAD. no powders either. i have been thinking about my substance abuse issues for a while now and i think taking a break is necessary. i need to reassess my relationship with alcohol. i think getting out of the service industry would help a lot. i just hate that getting fucked up seems so necessary to have fun in so many situations. this is so hard.

a good thing is that i'm having a lot of fun with T. the more i get to know him the more i like him. he's funny, smart, willing to try new things, emotionally intelligent, social, kind, caring, doesn't take himself too seriously, a good listener, and a really loyal friend. he has a good heart. i'm really happy with him. we're doing dry january together and we've had so much fun going on adventures and cooking and watching weird documentaries. we're going to chicago next weekend and i'm really excited. he treats me the way i deserve to be treated and i hope i'm doing the same for him.

it just scares me a little because i still want to move to another city, even if it's just for a little while. and i don't want a boyfriend to hold me back. and i feel like it's too soon to ask if he wants to come with me. there are so many uncertainties. i tend to get so invested in relationships so quickly. so i need to talk about this in therapy.

i'm also still having the same issues with insomnia that i had with luke. every time we slept in the same bed i could not fall asleep. like at all. it's insane. i took a lunesta the last time T stayed over and i don't think i slept. like my body just will not let me be unconscious and i don't know why. it's absolutely maddening. i can't understand why this is happening and i'm so frustrated with people telling me to have a bedtime routine or to try meditating or take fucking melatonin. i know they're just trying to help but it's clearly a much deeper issue and i need professional help. my psychiatrist hasn't done anything helpful except prescribe me lunesta. i made an appointment with a sleep specialist but it's not til the third week of february. it's so fucking exhausting and annoying to want to just spend the night with T and i get up the next day feeling like absolute shit because i didn't sleep. i hate it i hate it i hate it!!!!!!!

also i was in barcelona for christmas. it was so much fun. it honestly felt strange to be back in that city. familiar but not. i spent a lot of time there in 2016 and it was weird to be like, oh i remember eating breakfast in that mcdonald's with my friend hashi more than seven years ago. or how i used to take the blue line on the metro to crazy denise's house where i was living. but this time we balled out and spent so much money on food! christmas dinner was the best meal i've ever had in my life. and we went to museums and went on a roadtrip and saw castles and drank a lot of vermouth and reveled in the sunlight and laughed until we cried every single day. i really loved that trip.

i was somewhat of a control freak on the trip because i planned everything, but no one else seemed that interested in planning anyway. i don't know. i've been thinking about my flaws as a person. i'm super laid back sometimes and then so controlling other times. i'm so impatient. i think i'm better than everyone sometimes. i need praise and reassurance. maybe i just have a big, fragile ego. sometimes i feel like i'm selfish. but you know, none of us are perfect. i am trying. and this is where i'm at.

#journal

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nikki-rook · 5 months

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Christmas shopping just feels so hard this year! I’m still up in the air on what to get my husband and people at work are getting me things and I feel bad that I can’t come up with a single thing for them.

Last year was such a breeze and I went all out and we had no money. Now we are better in the money area and I lack all inspiration and motivation. I had the idea of drawing pictures if my coworkers dogs but I didn’t really like the trial one I did.

It doesn’t help today I am so tired! My face just doesn’t want to work. I feel so blah. Uaghughghgg

#text #me #help #blehhhhhhh

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thethinkingaurora · 6 months

Text

So I sent the message

——————————————————

hi its me the idiot

im using this because i find it a lot easier to explain to someone things through textas it makes it possible to re-read the message and it also cuts out the time which consists of me rambling, i rambled anyway, well too bad, anyways onto the actual point of me talking

I going through a lot of things currently and im not exactly handling well with the stress and such that it is bringing, firstly,

Imposter Syndrome

i don’t know if you know what this is but its more or less doubting nearly everything you do/about yourself (like am i actually depressed or am i just looking for notice, am i actually smart or am i just here by chance, am i actually in pain or am i just looking for notice) which i’m almost positive is mostly from you (do you see why i opted to write this instead of saying it to you), if you haven’t noticed, i stopped saying my problems to you and dad over the past few years, that was because of you saying that i was just looking for notice and me developing this

Depression

As you said i’ve seemed less happy with my life over the past few months, which is most likely due to my depression which began to set in around the end of June, start of July, i have numerous signs/symptoms of it including, the absence of feeling, feeling empty, lack of energy, loss of interest in hobbies, irritability, difficulty sleeping, loss of motivation, among other things,

Derealisation

As you said, i'm having difficulting getting up, and i only realised that i was dealing with this over the past few weeks, my only main evidence is the only evidence that really exists and is that nothing feels real whenever i wake up, it feels like i'm in a dream and that everything will just fold out of existence, the way this is affecting me is mostly me not understanding that reality is existing

Executive Dysfunction

This is happening along with everything else and when paired with ADHD, nearly nothing gets done, for example while i had covid i got absolutely nothing done and this persisted for the following days after, i had no motivation to do anything, i would sit down to do work whether that be schoolwork or work for one of my projects and then i just wouldn’t be able to do anything and then i would get really frustrated that i was unable to get anything done

Eating Disorder

I’m putting this here for the reason of my friends suggesting that i do it and also that im really fed up with your approach

If you haven’t noticed (even though i know you have), i have lost appetite and don’t eat much anymore and your solution of “that's ridiculous you have to eat, blah, blah, blah” is honestly a really shit approach

——————————————————

So yeah that happened

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