#kory shouting ‘wait how did you know where i live’ always makes me giggle

[phoenixkaptain]

Okay. I’ll write an actual analysis.

A Lonely Place of Dying does a few things, storytelling-wise, that are actually incredibly impressive. Like, I figured it out and I was so excited.

First, we don’t see Tim. Not in part 1. All we see is glimpses. His hands as he puts away his camera. His feet as he runs away from Starfire’s apartment. We only see small parts of him, leaving him shrouded in mystery, which leads into part 2, where he’s represented by a shadowy figure on the cover.

The Titans, but especially Starfire, are all worried about the small child looking for Nightwing. This kid knows Nightwing’s name, knows where he lives, nd has a very conspicuous camera. I’d be worried too! So of course, from the Titans perspective, he’s an intimidating opponent that they don’t understand. (Especially since I’m like ninety percent sure Tim isn’t actually the one they’re looking for. Like, I think it was just a happy coincidence that the most suspicious child on the face of the planet happened to show up at the same time as the actual problem.)

We don’t see Tim’s face until just under halfway through part 2. And the first thing they show us are his eyes. He’s searching for Dick, even among all the pandemonium, and it’s only upon him finding Dick that we see his whole face.

Tim’s eyes are important. They’re an important part of his character in this storyline. Because Tim sees things. He sees through Bruce, he sees through Dick, he sees through Alfred even. He’s always looking.

And this is compounded when he explains how he knows what he knows in part 3.

We see child Tim Drake at the circus. Tim says this to Dick “…I kept staring at you…” and this “I remember waiting for you to go on. And then, when you did, I just sat there and watched.”

On the next page, he says, about Dick’s parents’ deaths, “I turned away… I couldn’t watch. Then I heard you crying and I turned back and I saw you holding onto them, and I began crying, too.”

Page 11 has his monologue about seeing Batman for the first time, and how he thought Batman would hurt Dick, but what’s important isn’t the dialogue, it’s the panels. They focus on the realization of Batman being safe, entirely through Tim’s eyes. He’s panicked and scared, then slowly relaxes. We see it all, because Tim sees it all.

And it’s THIS. Tim started the story by finding Batman, but he starts his story by beginning to look for Dick. Us seeing Tim seeing Dick is a direct parallel to us seeing Tim seeing Batman with Dick. Tim’s story starts by him staring at Dick, unable to look away. And when we see him for the first time, he’s looking at him again, still unable to look away.

Throughout the story, Tim is constantly looking at Dick. Yes, this is mostly because he’s talking to Dick, but even at the end of part 2, when Dick is being congratulated by Haly’s Circus members and isn’t paying attention to Tim at all, Tim is still watching him.

Why is there so much emphasis on his eyes? I’m so glad you asked- IT’S VISUAL STORYTELLING BABEYYYY.

Tim’s most important role in A Lonely Place of Dying is as a third party. He cares about Bruce and Dick, and he knows them a lot better than they might think, but he’s still a third party to them. They don’t know him. He’s someone who’s been looking in on their lives for ten years.

He’s. A. Voyeur.

The emphasis being placed on his eyes cements this. Dick, Alfred, and Bruce are all put off by him at first. He knows too much, he doesn’t offer much information on himself until he’s forced to, it’s almost uncomfortable how much of a stalker this thirteen-year-old manages to be. He’s a voyeur, watching their lives, unnoticed by any of them, and that’s a bit unnerving! I don’t blame Dick for being unsettled by him, he’s weird!

And, his eyes as a child watching Dick to his eyes as a preteen finding Dick. They’re connected. A perfectly linear story, just told backwards. It’s really very satisfying.

Now, point two. The question we all have. Is Tim a stalker?

Short answer: yes.

Long answer: yes, but I’ll explain.

Tim begins the story by taking pictures of Batman fighting Ravager. The narration mentions someone calling in a tip to Gordon about Ravager’s location, which is what led Batman to this point, and I’m on the fence over whether or not Tim was the one who called in. On one hand, it would make a lot of sense. Ravager is part of a bigger ploy by Two-Face, and we find out in part 2 that Tim knows Two-Face is behind the trouble. It would also explain how Tim found a spot to set up his camera for a good portion of the fight. And, it isn’t like Tim wouldn’t know Gordon’s phone number. On the other hand, it’s never explicitly stated who called Gordon, so assume what you will.

Part 1 actually shows us a glimpse of Tim’s collection of photographs. It’s huge. Most of them are obviously newspaper clippings, but a few are just pictures (I assume on photo paper because the edges are cleaner than the newspaper photos). Tim says, in part 3 “You know, since I was able to read, I clipped every article on Batman and Robin.” We admittedly don’t know when Tim learned to read, but he’s thirteen and says he gets mostly A’s, so I’m assuming he probably learned in preschool or kindergarten, around the age of 3-5. That’s a lot of newpaper clippings. We only see his more recent and his most stalkery ones, so who knows how many more he has?

There are only a few points in the story where we see that Tim is genuinely emotional about anything. For the most part, he is calm. He smiles a lot. He doesn’t use a lot of exclamation marks. The only times he does use exclamation marks are when he’s monologuing (internally or externally) about how great Dick is or when he’s trying to make a point. The only time we see him get visibly distressed is when Dick ignores him about Batman needing a Robin.

I don’t know how to stress upon you that Tim only cries that one time. Tim almost dies three times in this comic. He went to his second circus and another person died. His idols both berate him and talk down to him (although Dick stops right after they meet with Bruce. I’m going to be honest, I think Dick wants Bruce to take Tim on as Robin because if Dick had to deal with Tim for a whole day, so does Bruce). He has to recount watching Dick’s parents die and the nightmares he got from it.

He went through so much. But, the only time he’s upset is when Dick won’t listen to him about what’s best for Batman.

Anyway, Tim flat out just says a lot of really stalker-y shit, so I’ll just list some more:

We already know about him clipping newspapers since he could read

When he’s asking Kory where Nightwing is, he lets slip to her that he was watching Titans Tower with this line “I know he wasn’t at your meeting today.”

There’s also a few lines from breaking and entering Dick’s apartment “Grayson kept his old apartment. If he left the Titans, he might be here.” “He’s a detective… he must keep notes. Even something scribbled on a shopping list.” “No! The Haly Circus is closing? It can’t be! It can’t! But at least I now know where he is!” (Why is the shopping list thing stalkery Kacie, I’m so glad you asked. Tim knows Dick well enough that he knows Dick writes things down. Bruce certainly doesn’t, and Bruce is also a detective, so it’s a logical leap unless Tim knows Dick is inclined to write things down.)

There’s one part that isn’t stalkery so much as really funny to me. While Tim is looking for Dick at the circus, he realizes that Dick is “a master of disguise” and that “I’ve been looking for Dick Grayson, but he could be anyone.” only to almost immediately after say “No, not the roustabouts. They’re too tall.” First, that means he can’t “be anyone.” Second, he knows Dick’s height just. So well.

Tim realizes who Dick is and I think I’ll just tell you what he said to explain how he figured it out “Th-that jump- - -that’s him! It’s got to be Dick!” What was so special about Dick’s jump? I don’t think there was anything special, I think Tim is just weird.

Dick asks Tim who he is no less than three separate times. Tim refuses to tell him, all three times. At the beginning of part 3, while Dick is introducing Tim to Alfred, Dick says “Alfred, this may be a bit awkward, but I’d like you to meet- - - -what did you say your name was again?” Implying that Tim did tell Dick, but only briefly.

Back in part 2, Tim says this to Dick “Look, I know you’re Nightwing. You used to be Robin. Then Jason Todd became Robin, and when he died, Bruce Wayne went to pieces.” Tim says this before telling Dick his name by the way.

Tim, upon being introduced to Alfred (a cont. of the earlier Dick line) “Tim. Mr. Pennyworth- - gosh I was really hoping we’d meet. I know you’re Batman’s confidant, and I’ve dreamed about the stories you could tell.”

Alfred’s response to this is “I am- - what did you say?” Which is very funny.

Some more stalker lines that come from Tim looking around the manor: “I’ve seen pictures of this place,” “There’s the renoir Mr. Wayne bought last year. I read about that in Art World Today.”, “He’s got an erte? Oh, I love his stuff.”, “Please, can I see the rest of the house?”

There’s this, which a part of was mentioned earlier “I don’t remember the clowns or the animals, or anything else. I just remember waiting for you to go on. And then, when you did, I just sat there and watched.”

Tim says, before explaining anything, “Okay, you won’t take me seriously until I tell you everything. Dick, I don’t want this to hurt you. And I’m really afraid it might.” He then says, “I’m sorry, Dick. I really am. I told you I didn’t want to hurt you by telling you all this.” Tim is right, Dick is hurt. Tim is a stalker, but he’s a conscientious stalker.

There’s this “That image of you doing your somersault- - - -it stayed with me for years. I couldn’t get it out of my mind.” “I knew that somersault. I knew it like I knew my own name.”

This is just the beginning of a sentence, but it still is very stalkery “When you moved to New York to become Nightwing…”

Or how about “…Batman and Robin have meant everything to me. I’ve followed them both… I know them so well. I knew when Dick left to become Nightwing. I knew when Jason came and became Robin… and I knew when Jason died.”

Tim mentions offhandedly that he managed at some point to slip a tracking device on Two-Face. An impressive feat, considering Two-Face was trying to hit him with a crowbar and Tim only came into contact with him twice, either to punch him in the face or push him away from attacking Alfred. I doubt he slipped it on him while punching him, but his ability to stay calm under pressure even while acting panicky, managing to smoothly slide a tracking device onto Two-Face that Two-Face never realizes is there, is very impressive. Or, it’s practiced-

Bruce says “I don’t want a partner. It’s as simple as that.”

Tim responds “After all you’ve been through, I understand.”

So you may be wondering, with all of this overwhelming evidence and the fact that he knows where both Kory and Dick live and the fact that he already knew Alfred Pennyworth was Batman’s confidant and all of the weird, supervillain-esque shit he says, why does anyone like him?

And I’ll tell you why. It’s because he’s so fucking awkward.

Tim says things like “oh thank goodness” or “gosh” or “it’s still been wonderful.” Tim stutters talking to Batman. Tim fanboys over Dick and Bruce constantly. He isn’t even upset to have gotten a mystery wrong, he’s just happy he got to see Dick solve a case.

But also, Tim is right. Batman is acting recklessly, and it’s directly as a result of Jason dying. Tim says he needs Robin, not Nightwing, but I think what he means is more the role that they fill. Robin is little and Bruce can tuck him under his wing and keep him safe. Nightwing is an adult who argues with him and is a good leader in his own right, leading to more arguments. Robin is someone Batman has to take notice of, has to account for when making plans. Nightwing can keep up, and he isn’t as worried about Nightwing because he trusts Nightwing’s ability to stay alive. They fill very different roles, and that’s what Tim means, even if he has trouble saying it.

And he’s completely right. Batman without Robin runs recklessly into a building without scoping it out, tries to save two boys tied with active grenades by himself, walks into a room full of mobsters with guns without having any protection himself. Tim implies that he’s worried Bruce might die, and he’s right to be worried.

But even with Nightwing there, Batman only worries when things go wrong. He doesn’t see Dick as his scrappy little sidekick anymore, he sees him as an adult. And it’s only when Dick’s in trouble that Bruce reverts to treating him like a child.

Robin makes Batman stop and think before they go in. Robin makes Batman patient. Because Bruce cares about Dick and Jason, and he comes to care about Tim too.

Tim wins him over by being clever, but later comics show that they have to build trust in each other. Tim trusts Bruce completely, right off the bat, and that’s overwhelming for Bruce. But Bruce stops being overwhelmed and starts feeling fond.

Because despite everything I said, Tim is a good person. He’s so worried about Bruce that he’s willing to search everywhere to find Dick to try and help him. He’s so worried about Bruce that he spends his vacation week slumming around on his bicycle trying to save Bruce’s life. He dives down a coal chute without a second thought, and he pushes with all his might to unbury Batman and Nightwing. He cares about them, and it’s painfully obvious that he does.

Tim doesn’t want to be Robin. Like, okay, he would love to be Robin, but that’s not why he’s here. He doesn’t want to tell Dick his first name, and it’s only after seeing that Dick isn’t taking him seriously that he spills the beans. He didn’t want to tell Dick, because that would hurt Dick. He says “B-Batman, it’s hard for me to say this to you” because he’s about to tell Bruce off for being reckless and he doesn’t want to. Tim wants to know that Bruce and Dick are safe, and that’s the only thing he wants.

Yes, Tim is definitely a stalker. He literally said himself that he followed them, and even if it was only through newspapers, it still counts as following. Now, maybe he doesn’t fit this dictionary definition of a stalker: “a person who harasses or persecutes someone with unwanted and obsessive attention,” but I think he does fit this dictionary definition: “a person who hunts prey stealthily.” Tim is stealthy and quick.

I read an article that said his weakness was unexpected situations, but I would argue that that’s bullshit. Tim is great in unexpected situations. Did he expect Two-Face to start trying to beat him with a crowbar? No, but he managed to avoid being hit and plant a tracker on him. Did he expect Two-Face to crush the Batmobile he’s sitting in with a wrecking ball? No, but he managed to jump out and hide and tried to warn Batman and Nightwing to watch out. Did he expect Bruce to agree to let him train to be Robin? No, but he’s going to do the best he can now that he has the chance.

From the very beginning, we can see that Tim is someone with an answer to just about everything. He knows things, he notices things, and he’s good at reacting. Later comics don’t dispute this, that I know of. Tim is the Robin with multiple contingencies for his contingencies, but he’s also the Robin who is most likely to say “oh shit I did not see that coming.” He’s a surprised sometimes, yes, but that doesn’t mean he’s unprepared.

All in all, Tim Drake is a fascinating character study of a rich kid who talks like an elderly woman providing therapy for a man who is at least two, if not three, decades his senior. Tim doesn’t quite understand at any point that monitoring isn’t the same thing as showing affection, which is why he and Bruce get along swimmingly and why Tim is often slated to be the Robin most alike to Batman.

Congratulations, Tim.

Also, I really truly believe that Tim had his first crush on Dick, which is why he couldn’t stop staring at him. And I didn’t mention he said this, because it wasn’t important to the points I was making, but it’s important to this one. Tim says “…I kept staring at you, and your circus costume.” The circus costume being similar to Robin’s is never brought up, only the fact fact that Tim couldn’t stop staring at it. I’m telling you, his first crush was here, it’s so obvious, just look at my corkboar-

#the inane ramblings of a madman #dc #batman #robin #tim drake #bruce wayne #dick grayson #alfred pennyworth #a lonely place of dying #long post #like so long #i’m so sorry but also not really #had to take my mom to the hospital at 5am and waited there for six hours #you guys can suffer through some ramblings #anyway #been thinkin bout timmer lately #so i reread his introduction #him being introduced as a shadowy figure with unclear motives #will never not be funny to me #kory shouting ‘wait how did you know where i live’ always makes me giggle #tim is a head shorter than dick #starfire is taller than dick #i have to imagine that tim goes up to her shoulders #like he does with batman #he’s just an intimidating little guy #no wonder he does so well as batman later on #also dick says ‘you can’t bring the dead back to life’ #and i had to google when jason was brought back #just so i could make the joke ‘won’t he feel silly in 16 years’

[sohotthateveryonedied]

We Dream in the Dark, for the Most Part

Read here on AO3!

Summary:

Jason is in the middle of lathering his hair with shampoo when suddenly the lights go out, leaving him in darkness. An instinctive chill runs down his spine, only to be replaced with annoyance. Of course. Beyond the shower spray, he can hear Lian shriek in fear, followed by Roy muttering curses.

Jason sighs. “Roy?” he calls.

“Handling it!”

It was a grueling patrol, but Jason is relieved to be home. He missed having Roy by his side tonight, but their usual babysitter, Mrs. Peterson from next door, came down with pneumonia yesterday and canceled. She doesn’t seem to have any idea that her neighbors are vigilantes, but they pay her enough that she doesn’t ask. Lian is coloring at the coffee table while Jason toes off his boots, leaving them at the front door. She’s wearing her fluffy Stitch pajamas, which she’s been practically living in for the last week and a half. “Hey, princess.” Jason drops a kiss on top of her head as he passes. “Where’s your dad?” “In the kitchen. He’s playing with the electricity again.” “Oh, good. Because, you know, I was actually hoping our place would explode, just to spice things up.” Lian giggles. “Has he fed you yet?” She shakes her head, her black pigtails swinging back and forth. “Nope. But he promised me special sushi if I cleaned up all my books.” Jason will never understand Lian’s passion for her “special sushi,” which is just deli ham slathered in strawberry yogurt and rolled up like a spring roll from hell. Jason gets nauseated just thinking about it, but the kid loves the stuff. “And did you clean up?” Lian points over at the bookshelf against the wall. They don’t have a huge apartment by any means, but Jason insisted on dedicating an entire wall to his books. That was one of the conditions when Roy first asked Jason to move in with him and Lian. It took weeks of finagling to convince Jason to relinquish a small section of the bookshelf for Lian’s picture books, which are indeed all in their right places. “Then it looks like you’ve earned your sushi, little miss. I’m gonna shower first and then I’ll make it for you, alright?” “I can make it by myself.” Jason snorts. “After what happened last time? I don’t think so.” It was his own fault for thinking a five-year-old could prepare her own food. It took a solid hour to scrub the yogurt stains out of the carpet. Jason pokes his head in the kitchen on his way to the bathroom. “Tell me you’re not burning the building down.” “Okay, then I’m not burning the building down,” Roy says around the screwdriver trapped between his teeth. He stands in front of what was once a light switch, tinkering with something that he most definitely should not be tinkering with, but Jason is picking his battles today.

“I’m not going to bother telling you that you’re on your second strike with the landlord. If he has to come up here again, I’m not defending you.” “You know what I miss? The old days when people would greet each other by saying things like, ‘hi, sweetie, how was your day?’ ‘Oh, it was lovely, darling. How about a kiss after spending hours apart and missing each other dearly?’ ‘Babe, it’s like you read my mind!’ You know, stuff like that?” Jason arches an eyebrow. “I’ve got mobster blood caked in my hair. Still want a hello kiss?” “Not really, no. Go shower.” “Try not to blow a fuse in the meantime, please.” Roy salutes with his screwdriver. “Aye, aye, captain.” Jason goes to the bathroom and relishes in the feeling of peeling off his armor and the bodysuit underneath, every layer soaked with sweat and blood. It’s a good thing his Red Hood getup is all dark colors, or he’d have scarred Lian for life ten times over already. He turns the shower knob as hot as it’ll go, letting his muscles slowly unravel under the spray. He takes his time scrubbing off the blood and dirt, whistling some shitty pop song that Dick paid Barbara to blast through the comms all. Night. Long. Jason has plans to add that to his repertoire of torture techniques if he ever needs some extra edge. It’s definitely effective. Jason is in the middle of lathering his hair with shampoo when suddenly the lights go out, leaving him in darkness. An instinctive chill runs down his spine, only to be replaced with annoyance. Of course. Beyond the shower spray, he can hear Lian shriek in fear, followed by Roy muttering curses. Jason sighs. “Roy?” he calls. “Handling it!” Another sigh. This is what he gets for leaving Roy alone. It’s Jason’s own fault, really. He quickly rinses the shampoo from his hair and leaves the bathroom, and towel wrapped around his waist. He navigates the pitch black apartment and finds Roy lighting a match in the kitchen. He’s got Lian tucked in one arm. “What did I say?” Jason asks. “I know, I know—” “I said not to blow a fuse. That was your one job.” “Technically, I didn’t blow a fuse. I just overloaded the circuit and cut off the electricity for the whole building.” Jason smacks himself in the forehead. “Wonderful.” Remind him again why he’s in love with this man? “I’m sure it’ll be fixed in no time.” “You can’t see it, but I’m rolling my eyes.” “You’re overreacting. It’s just a little blackout.” “We have ice cream in the freezer.” “I’ll buy more.” Jason runs a hand through his wet hair. “You’re killing me, babe. Again.” “It’s just one night without power, right? I’m sure it’ll come back on in the morning.” He bounces Lian a little, who’s got her face buried in Roy’s neck. Poor thing is terrified of the dark. “What do you think, pumpkin? You think you can be brave for one little night in the dark?” “I don’t like it. It’s scary.” “I know it is, sweetheart. But do you want to know a secret?” He leans in close to her ear, mock-whispering, “Jaybird over here is afraid of the dark too.” Lian looks at Jason with wide eyes. “Really?” Roy nods. “Yep. But you know what? He’s so brave and strong that he overcame that fear and now it hardly bothers him anymore. Do you think you can be brave like that?” “I can be super brave.” “That’s my girl. Not, sit here for a minute, ‘kay?” He sets her down on the arm of the sofa. The match has fizzled out by now, leaving them in complete darkness. “I know I have some scented candles around here somewhere. Dinah keeps getting them as gifts and pushes them on me when she doesn’t like them.” Jason’s eyes widen. “Wait, watch out for the—” Roy trips with a shout, glass shattering as he falls. “—coffee table.” Roy just groans in response. “Hang on, let me get a light.” Jason makes his way to the drawer they keep the emergency flashlight in. He turns on the beam to show Roy on the floor, surrounded by glass shards and clutching his leg. There are several small cuts peppering his knee like he crawled on a beach made of broken bottles. Jason gasps. “Oh my god, Roy! You broke Lian’s crayons!” Roy flips him off, angling his hand so Lian can’t see. “I’m fine, thanks for asking.” Jason helps him up and hands him the flashlight. “Lian, honey, will you help him get to the couch? I need to put some clothes on.” And he’s almost positive there’s another flashlight somewhere in Roy’s nightstand. They’re going to need all the light they can get. Jason gets dressed and retrieves the flashlight, plus one of Lian’s Disney princess glow sticks. When he returns, Roy is on the couch with his leg propped up on what remains of their coffee table. Lian is shining the flashlight on her tiny first-aid kit which Kori gave her last Christmas. She sifts through her collection of band-aids. “One to ten?” “Barely a two,” Roy says. “I already dug the glass out, and none were deep enough to need stitches.” Jason checks him over anyway, just to be sure. He wipes away the blood and applies some ointment over the cuts. He turns to Lian when he’s finished. “Can I trust you to finish this up while I make dinner?” She nods enthusiastically. Perfect. Lian can keep herself busy plastering Roy in Hello Kitty bandages, and Jason will have time to figure out what the hell they’re doing, food-wise. “How do you expect to make dinner without electricity?” Roy asks, reading his mind yet again. “What, did you never have to eat cold leftover pizza in your million-dollar mansion growing up? Weird.” He dodges the pillow Roy throws his way, laughing. “Those jokes don’t count when you also grew up in a million-dollar mansion.” Thirty minutes later and the three of them are sitting on the couch, Roy and Jason eating cold mushroom casserole while Lian enjoys her ham and yogurt. Once you get over the temperature difference, cold casserole turns out to be just as tasty as hot casserole. Gordon Ramsey should take notes. Jason managed to track down the candles Roy was talking about earlier and set them in various places around the living room, lighting the room in a dim glow. It’s not perfect lighting by any means—not even good lighting, really, but at least no one will be falling into another coffee table anytime soon. Roy’s knee is covered in Hello Kitty band-aids, some of which are in spots that weren’t even cut up by the glass. Roy doesn’t seem to mind. Jason took a picture for potential blackmail reasons. “I’m bored,” Lian says after a while. “You could always go to bed,” Roy suggests, “given that your bedtime was fifteen minutes ago but your daddies are nice enough to let you stay up this long.” “That was nice of us,” Jason agrees. “I think we’ve earned a quiet night to ourselves.” Lian pouts. She grabs Jason’s arm, clinging to his bicep like a koala. “But it’s dark in my room.” “It’s dark in there every night.” “It’s really dark tonight. Can I stay here with you instead?” Her eyes are big and innocent, perfectly disguising the mischief lurking within. This girl could be a successful con artist one day. (Not that Jason or Roy will ever let that happen. She’s going to grow up and become a veterinarian or something equally harmless.) Roy and Jason meet eyes, having a silent conversation over Lian’s head. Finally, Roy sighs. “Fine. You can stay up with us a little longer, but only because of the blackout, okay? Don’t go thinking that this trick is going to work tomorrow night.” Lian claps her hands, bouncing in her seat. “Can I have coffee?” “Absolutely not.” She isn’t deterred in the slightest. “This is gonna be so fun! We can stay up all night long, even past midnight and three o’clock which is when the ghosts come out.” “Ghosts, huh?” Jason says. “Yeah, Aunt Stephanie told me all about it! Three o’clock is when the witching hour happens and witches and ghosts come out like Bloody Mary and Freddie Cougar and they call come into your house and walk around but you can only see them if you’re awake, which I’m gonna be because I’m not even tired, I could stay up all night long and for a million, bazillion years, and—” She lasts seven minutes. Lian is fast asleep now with her head in Roy’s lap, her tiny feet dangling off the arm of the sofa. Jason drapes a blanket over her, kissing her on the forehead. He’s careful not to jostle Roy’s bandaged leg as he takes a seat beside him, putting his arm around Roy’s shoulders. “Well, I’m fucking exhausted.” “It’s cool if you want to go to bed,” Roy says. “I don’t mind sticking around here with Lian until the power comes back on.” “Nah, it’s fine. I like it better in here, anyway.” In here, where the light is. Roy doesn’t comment on the hidden meaning that he definitely catches on to, and Jason loves him for it. He just kisses Jason’s cheek, settling against his side. Jason doesn’t mention the darkness thing often. Or at all. After all, grown men don’t get scared of the dark—especially when they live in a place like Gotham and were raised in a literal cave. But if Lian insists on having the hallway light on in addition to the night light next to her bed, then Jason isn’t about to discourage her. Roy never says a word about it. Every night he keeps the door to his and Jason’s bedroom cracked open just enough so a sliver of hallway light floods in, and it’s good for both of them, really. Jason feels safer with the light on, and they both feel safer being able to hear every creak and draft in the apartment, falling asleep knowing that nothing will sneak up on them. Even when Jason was living on his own, post-resurrection, he always kept a lamp on when he went to sleep in whichever safehouse he was squatting in that night. Back before he had a place to call home. On especially bad nights, he would turn on the lights in every single room, even the one in the microwave. Only then could he sleep soundly. He can’t exactly do that now, but he doesn’t need to. Whenever his head gets too heavy to bear, he’ll simply wrap his arms around Roy and fall back asleep to the sound of Roy’s heart beating under his ear. He falls back asleep in minutes. Jason isn’t entirely sure what caused the light issue in the first place. Sometimes he can’t remember if it arose before or after he was adopted by Bruce. Other times he’s sure it’s lingering trauma from the coffin, from waking up in pitch blackness six feet underground. No bearings, no sense of what was happening or where he was. The only thing in there with him was the thick, cloying darkness on every side of him. Jason shivers just thinking about it. “We should get her a new night light,” he says. “Battery powered, not a plug-in. It would be a good investment if you ever try destroying our electricity again.” Roy hums. “We can pick one up tomorrow. I need to take her clothes shopping anyway. And it might be a good idea to have a couple for the living room and bathroom so we don’t have a repeat of tonight.” “Good idea.” God, Jason’s craving a cigarette right now. Every nerve in his body urges him to get one and soothe the anxiety buzzing in his brain, but he has a rule against smoking in the apartment or anywhere near Lian. He’d settle for a beer instead, whatever keeps the buzzing at bay, but he doesn’t drink at home either out of respect for Roy’s sobriety. He’s stuck. Roy must notice Jason’s twitching fingers because he reaches into his pocket, careful not to wake Lian as he pulls out a stick of nicotine gum. “Here.” Jason unwraps the gum and shoves it in his mouth. He takes a deep breath in as he chews, letting it out slowly. It takes the edge off some, but not completely. Still, it’s better than nothing. “You’re just carrying these on you now?” "Came in handy, didn't it?" “And I thought Bruce was the king of being prepared for everything.” Jason straightens the wrapper until it’s flat like a card. He holds it over the nearest candle until it catches, watching the flame consume the paper, eating away at its edges. He blows it out just before it gets too close to his fingers. “When I was a kid,” he says after a minute, “my mom and I used to light candles like these. The heat would get turned off pretty often since she was usually too high to remember what day it was, let alone when the bills needed to be paid. But whenever it happened, she would send me to the store with a couple dollars and I’d buy a bag of marshmallows. We’d roast them over the candles and pretend we were camping.” “That sounds nice.” “It was. I mean, now I realize that it’s actually really fucking sad that we had to resort to candles ‘cause my mom wasted all her cash on drugs and couldn’t pay the heating bill. But at the time, it was nice. It’s one of the few good memories I have of that time.” He feels more than sees Roy’s fingers lacing through his own, clasping their hands together. “I was telling the truth earlier, you know. You’re brave and strong and badass all the way.” Jason snorts. “Even if I get freaked out every time the lights go out?” Roy doesn’t laugh with him. “Yeah, even then. And you know why?” He rests his head on Jason’s shoulder, lets Jason feel his warmth. “Because of all the things to be afraid of, you picked the one that can be fixed by just turning the lights on. Once you do that, there’s nothing left in the world that can scare you. And that’s pretty damn badass if you ask me.”

#whumptober 2020 #no.27 #power outage #jayroy #jason todd #red hood #robin #batman #roy harper #red arrow #arsenal #red hood and the outlaws #red hood/arsenal #lian harper #dc comics #fanfiction #fanfic

[battinsxns]

Little Robin

Thank you so much to @manontheflyingtrapeze for letting me use this head canon to write on! : “Headcanon that when Dick fist has Mar’i, he calls her his “little robin” as an endearment term, and the first time jason hears him calling her that, he’s naturally angry and goes all “planning to drag her into our shit life too?!””

You can also find me on ao3 under sam_writes!

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Mar’i was flying. So that was new. 

“You sure this has never happened before,” Jason panted, “because she seems to be pretty freaking good at it.” 

“Do you think I’d bring my daughter here if I thought she could fly away?” Dick huffed as they continued to chase after the toddler, giggling and squealing ahead of them. 

Dick was going to have a heart attack. One minute he was on the couch with Mar’i at his feet with her arms raised to be picked up, and the next she was airborne. Sometimes, he wondered how his life got to the point where a flying baby was just something that happened to him. 

Rounding another corner into the kitchen, the boys stopped. Mar’i was still in the air, which was a problem, but she was no longer leading them on a chase. Instead, she reached for the cookie jar Alfred had taken to hiding on top of the fridge. Finding her treasure, Mar’i squealed in delight and leaned down to bite the chocolate chip cookie, only to dip forward into a spin. She giggled as she spun in the air, one clumsy tumble after another. 

Dick wasted no time in climbing onto the countertop, reaching for the light fixtures hanging from the ceiling, and swinging toward Mar’i. With a graceful jump he flew forward and wrapped his daughter safely within his arms as he landed them both onto the ground. 

He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her downy forehead with a sigh. “Your mom is going to kill me. Oh, who am I kidding, she’ll find this hilarious.”

Jason leaned against the back of a chair, willing his heart rate to slow. “You and your fucking ground repellant family. This is why I never come over.” 

“Is it bad that I’m proud of her? I mean, did you see her form? She’s a natural flying Grayson!” Dick laughed, tossing Mar’i lightly into the air as she giggled, cookie clenched tight in her tiny fist. “My little robin!” 

Jason froze, body rigid. “Put her down, Dick.” 

He turned, confused. “Jay, what -?”

Louder, tenser, again, “I said put her down.” 

Carefully, Dick placed his daughter in her highchair, careful now to mind the straps in case she decided to fly again.

Jason stomped his way back toward the living room until Mar’i was no longer in hearing distance. Dick followed his brother wearily. 

“Jay, what’s going on?” 

No sooner had the words left his mouth than Jason’s fist collided with his cheek. His head rocked back with the force behind the punch, and he took a step backward to lower himself into proper stance. 

Dick raised his arms up to block Jason’s fists swinging toward him and swiped his leg at his brother’s knees, sending him to the ground. He pressed his knee against Jason’s hips, arms pining his wrists. 

The hold was broken by the slamming of Jason’s head against his own as their positions were flipped. Another punch to the nose jarred Dick as he raised his arms defensively. He jabbed his knee against Jason’s ribs, and took the grunt of surprise to throw his own punches. 

Between the green haze in Jason’s eyes and the trading of punches, Dick didn’t know how long it was until strong arms pulled Jason from him, and another set of hands pulled Dick up from the ground. 

“What the hell is going on here?” The angry grumble of Batman’s tenor slipped into Bruce’s voice. 

Jason lurched, shoulders held between Bruce’s elbows and head between his father’s hands, spat red onto the floor.

“You’re just as bad as him! All of you! Always ready to let your kids die for the fucking mission. Bet you can’t wait to dress her up in the little suit and send her off to fight all those killers on the street, huh Dickie?” 

“Don’t you dare bring my daughter into this.” Dick’s heart was pounding. His voice dark and dangerous. He felt Alfred grip his wrist as he took a step forward. Jason gave him a bloody smile, with bitterness in his eyes. 

“Isn’t that what you wanted to do? She’s a fucking baby. How long were you going to wait? Til she could type case files? Count off rounds?”

Dick shook of Alfred’s grips and lunged at Jason. Before he could punch him in the face like he wanted, Bruce was between them, a hand gripping each boy’s shoulder on a pressure point that had them both cringing. 

“That is enough! Do you both understand me?” Bruce had shouted at them before, many times as they’d grown older, but it still froze them. Once a robin, always a robin. 

“Might I request we all stop shouting? Masters Timothy and Damian are trying to distract the young miss, but I think it would be best not to set her off crying.” Alfred, ever the wisest among them all. 

Bruce dragged them both to the couch, tossing them both down on opposite sides. His fists clenched, but he didn’t cross his arms, keeping himself ready to intervene again. 

“Now do you two want to explain what happened here? I thought all you boys were finally getting along.” 

Jason responded with an angry huff and clenched fists that escaped no one’s eye. 

“Golden boy here is already talking about making Mar’i a mask, and you’re both so fucking brainwashed you don’t even see the problem with that.” 

“What the hell are you talking about!” Dick threw up his arms, anger smoldering with the throbbing of his nose. 

“Little robin? Is that ringing any damn bells for you?” 

Alfred gave a small “oh dear” that echoed in the silent room.

Jason sneered at Dick’s frozen form. “What? Didn’t think I’d hear you praise her tumble and tell her what a good little robin she was gonna be?” 

“It’s what my mom called me,” Dick whispered. 

Jason’s face twisted and then fell blank and second later. When he spoke, his voice was small. “What?”

“My mom. When we practiced the trapeze, she said I flew. The first time I flipped she called my her little robin. It’s the last thing she said to me. ‘Ready to fly, my little robin?’.” 

Jason scrubbed his unbruised right face with the palm of his hand. “You bastard,” he said to Bruce, “you absolute bastard.” 

“Bruce? You never told them?” 

Here he was, the Batman, flustered and as emotionally constipated as Dick remembered. “I… presumed you would have told them yourself. And… and Dick you yourself often called it a… symbol…” 

Dick let out a small, exasperated chuckle. Soon It became full blown laughter. Jason joined in as well, until they were both clutching their stomachs and gasping for breath. Bruce just stood ever so still with flushed skin and averted eyes. 

“Master Dick, if you would please sit still so I may tend to your wounds so you do not frighten away your child?” Dick looked up to see Alfred’s arched eyebrow, and suddenly the laughter left him as he felt once again like a reprimanded ten year old boy.

“Sorry, Alfie. At least we didn’t break anything this time?” 

Alfred gave an unamused humm and did not spare any disinfectant on the cut on his cheek. 

“Oww!” 

“Well maybe this will teach you boys not to roughhouse indoors anymore, least of all around children.”

Dick felt shame stir in him. God, what kind of father was he? It was one thing to go out at night while she was safe asleep, and cover up his bruises in the morning, but to bring it so close to her? With her family, where she should be safe? 

“Guess that explains why you hated me so much, huh,” Jason asked as he wiped his eyes. Though the words were said jokingly, Dick could hear the tension underlying them. 

“I didn’t hate you, but yeah. You were my replacement, and you had Bruce’s attention and my mom’s nickname. It stung. I was a kid. But so were you.” 

Dick paused as Alfred prodded his bruised nose, wincing. It wasn’t broken, but it was definitely going to be bruised and swollen for a while. Dick cursed, and just hoped he’d left make-up here to cover it up for Mar’i. 

Jason sighed. “I’m sorry.” 

“You know I’d want let her out there, right?” Dick closed his eyes. He took in a deep breath and tried to dispel images of his baby girl hurt from his mind. “I’d never want her hurt, or scared, and in this lifestyle there’s no going around that. I’m scared every time that Kory goes on a mission, and it breaks my heart to see her hurt. I’m scared every night I go out, because if I don’t make it back then what happens to Mar’i? 

“But I am absolutely terrified that Mar’i one day is going to have to know about all of this, and that she’ll want to be a hero, and I won’t be able to stop her. Because it’s in her blood, isn’t it.” 

He looked up at Bruce, eyes bright. “I mean, you never wanted me going out, but I kept doing it anyway until you decided to make us a team. But it wasn’t enough. I’ve broken bones and been shot and almost died so many times, and I still keep doing it. So what about her? I can’t protect her!” 

Bruce knelt in front of his eldest son, strong hands on his shoulders. “Dick, look at me.” He lifted teary eyes to meet Bruce’s. “Mar’i is in the kitchen. She is with Damian and Tim. She is not even two years old. Whatever may happen in the future will happen then and not now. For now, just hold your daughter, do the best you can to keep her from this, and whatever happens as she gets older, she will have a family here to protect her.” 

The sound of clapping broke the peaceful moment. 

“Damn, Bruce,” Jason laughed. “I didn’t think you could find emotions. Thought all you did was yell and grunt.” 

“Hm.” 

Dick laughed and stood, stretching his back. 

“Well, as fun as this has been, I better go get Mar’i before she starts flying again.” 

“She what?”

#batman #robin #dick grayson #Jason todd #fic #fanfiction #listen I haven't written in months I tried my best #I just really loved this idea #mar'i grayson #ao3

[fagdyk]

Look at the stars (they were made to shine for you)

For Josh. Happy birthday @boyfailure

Diego looked at his boyfriend. “I love you, Jabba.” He smiled. Jabba looked back at him. “I love you more.” “I love your fat slug body more.” Diego smiled. Josh walked in. “I love both of you most.”

Just kidding. Here’s the real thing.

September:

Jason was pretty nervous when he entered his new school, he already knew he would get the label of “adopted son of Bruce Wayne”. How could he blame them, Bruce Wayne was the most popular guy in Gotham. The tabloids wrote about him every other day. And then last day they had a whole article about “Jason Todd, street rat turned millionaire son”. He already knew the reactions of his new classmates. The people at Gotham Academy were exclusively rich and Jason already knew how they would react to a former street rat in their midst. At least Jay had a school uniform. That would prevent the other kids from making jokes about his clothing style.

Jason was too busy checking his phone for his schedule when he bumped into somebody. “Asshole, you can’t watch where you walk?” He shouted, accidentally pulling all eyes towards him. That’s smart on the first day of school, when people already have this image of you. The other guy looked at Jason, waving the other people away. “What are you looking at?” He groaned at them. It was clear to Jason that people liked this guy (At least he had to confess this guy was handsome. At least he didn’t say that out loud). “Are you okay? I’m Kyle. You’re Jason Wayne, right?” He stretched his hand out, but Jason slapped it way. “Walk away. Don’t get mixed up in my business.” He groaned at Kyle. “And it’s Jason Todd. I’m not one of your rich boys, rich boy.” Jason kept walking away from this bothersome guy, while Kyle ran after him. “I’m not that rich. I’m here only because they offered me a scholarship.” Kyle laughed. When Kyle said that, Jason realized he knew him. “Rayner, right? The guy who discovered a new planet, right?” Kyle nodded. “I’m waiting till they announce it as the new Pluto.” Jason smirked as Kyle laughed at that. “Okay, I have to confess you’re funny. I didn’t expect this from street boy turned millionaires son.” “I guess you don’t know me then.” Jason groaned back. Who was this (gorgeous) guy to mix himself in Jason’s affairs? Kyle narrowed his eyes. “You’re okay? Want me to help you find your classroom.” He took a peak at Jason’s phone and ran forward. When he moved fast Jason realized how good a suit looked on him, like it was a second skin. Jason envied his whole way of doing things: feeling good about himself, being happy and not angst filled at all.

Kyle arrived at the classroom a lot faster than Jason did, and held the door open. “I need to go a couple of classrooms for here. Good luck. See you at lunch, Jay?” Kyle smiled wide. Jason’s face turned white. Kyle looked up at him, eyes meeting for a few seconds. “Is it okay to call you, Jay?” Jason nodded. “Yes, just not used to people calling me Jason.” Jason saw Kyle’s reaction and quickly realized his mistake. “I mean Jay. Not used to people calling me Jason.” He laughed it off and quickly went into his classroom, seeing Kyle wave at him from the corner of his eyes.

  October:

“Hey, you’re okay?” Kyle smiled at the guy next to him. Jason seemed a little off. “You’re still going out with me and Donna tonight?” Kyle raised an eyebrow. “And me being third wheel the whole night?” He groaned at him. “No, thank you.” Kyle laughed at him. “You know there’s nothing between me and Donna. I wouldn’t date one of the best friends of the brother of my best friend.” Kyle laughed, grabbing his bag. Jason almost dropped his bag from the shock. He wasn’t used to people calling him that. Kyle surprised him every day. “Yes, of course I will join, dude.” Jason grinned, walking to the cantina, Kyle following him. “Jay, wait for me.” He laughed. When Jason walked in he saw Dick Grayson sitting on one of the walls, surrounded by girls and, of course, Wally West and Roy Harper. Jason tried to walk around them, but before he realized it Roy was already standing in front of him. “Hey, Robin” Roy grinned. Dick chuckled. “I thought that was my nickname.” “You’re too old for it. It’s just the nickname for the Wayne sons now.” Roy answered. “Nice to see you too, Speedy.” Jason grinned and quickly ran after Kyle. “Roy has a thing for the Wayne kids now?” Kyle teased. Jason punched his shoulder. “Shut up. It’s not funny.” Jason groaned. “What? Dick having both Wally and Roy pining after him without him realizing isn’t funny?” Kyle chuckled. Jason rolled his eyes. “Hypocrite.” He whispered, Kyle raising his eyebrows. “What do you mean by that?” He grinned, grabbing his bag and pulling his sketchbook out. “Am I that boring?” Jason chuckled as he started watching Kyle draw. He couldn’t explain it, but somehow it was enchanting to see Kyle draw.

  November:

It was a quiet month. Although, quiet isn’t exactly the word. It was a chaotic month, both not speaking a lot. Not to each other at least. Jason thought Kyle was acting ridiculous, having another girlfriend. Dick told Jason it would be over in a week. Jason thought Kyle deserved somebody that looked at Kyle like Kyle looked at the stars (spoiler: Jason looked at Kyle like that). Kyle thought Jason was acting ridiculous, he shouldn’t be jealous. Kyle had a girlfriend and a best friend, two completely different things (Jason cried himself to sleep that night). They both thought the other one was an idiot.

  December:

Dick was right, it was over in a week. Jason and Kyle were acting like they always did, best friends again. Kyle was able to get Jason though Christmas (Jason hated Christmas, it reminded him of his family). Kyle told him: “You can make new Christmas memory’s, with me and the Wayne’s. With Donna and Roy. With the others.” Jason only heard “You can make new Christmas memory’s with me.” At Christmas eve Jason felt a lot better. He kicked Bruce out of the house and held a party. Dick and Wally hooked up (Donna: “Finally. Now Jay and Kyle.”), Donna and Kori were gone for eight hours, and Roy kissed Jason (Jason knew it was a coping mechanism for Roy, but still. It felt good, but nothing like looking at Kyle.

  January:

Jason is an idiot.

  February:

Everybody thinks Kyle is an idiot. He still doesn’t understand why Jason exploded at him. Donna laughed at Dick. “You were worse when Wally pined after you.”

  March:

“Kyle, can I talk to you.” Jason started. He stopped in his tracks, looking at Kyle sitting against the wall, drawing the stars. Kyle sighed. “Jason, please don’t say it.” Jason laughed. “It’s not like you don’t know it yet.” Jason quickly looked up when he realized he was staring at Kyle’s lips. Kyle chuckled when he saw Jason looking. “You know what I like about you?” Kyle smirked. “How you act like this badboy, and you’re absolutely not. Not at all. Maybe it runs in the family.” He got up and kissed Jason’s cheek. “Friends?” Kyle smiled. Jason smiled back. Friends was okay.

  April:

Jason realized he would always love Kyle, but friends was okay. It was better than nothing. And maybe he fell out of love eventually. He hoped he would.

  May:

They weren’t even drunk (Jason hated alcohol). It’s just that they were talking, and it got emotional. Jason told Kyle things only four living people now. Kyle hugged him and told him he would always love him. Before Jason realized it his lips were against Kyle’s and Kyle didn’t pull back. They were kissing.

Two weeks later Jason still evaded Kyle. He wasn’t able to talk about this. He talked to Kori, cried with Kori. Donna told him she knew he was scared. How he was scared that the world would shun him, and Kyle would too. “He loves you, you idiot.” Kori laughed. “It doesn’t matter if you’re gay or trans or an idiot, you are all three by the way, he loves you like more than a friend. Everybody can see that, except for Kyle himself. He’s an idiot too.” Jason couldn’t do anything but laugh at that. She was right.

  June:

Jason sat down next to Kyle at class. It would be another 15 minutes till class started. “Hey” He whispered, his voice cracking. “Hey” Kyle smiled back. “I know it doesn’t seem that way, but I’m scared.” Kyle sighed, Jason laughing at him. “The great Kyle Rayner, confessing he’s scared.” Kyle punched him. “Shut up, you idiot.” “Make me.” And Kyle did that.

  July:

This was the first time Jason saw Kyle draw anything other than stars. “You want to know why I only draw stars?” Kyle smiled at him. Jason nodded. “Other than you having an obsession with space?” Kyle laughed at that. “Yeah. It’s because the stars are the most beautiful thing I could possibly draw.” Jason looked at Kyle’s drawing again and giggled. “They WERE the most beautiful thing I could possibly draw.” Kyle looked at Jason and continued drawing him.

  August:

Donna made some gagging noise right before Jason threw a pillow at her. “You and Kori are worse.” Jason mumbled. Kyle laughed and pulled Jason back. “Ignore her. She is just jealous.” He smiled against his lips. “Neh, just happy for the two of you.” She smiled back. “When is the wedding?” She teased them. Jason ignored her and smiled at Kyle, happy.

Ps. The wedding was two years later.

#josh #deadrobinsnet #fanfic #jaykyle #i hope it's long enough #happy birthday #ily