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lullabyes22-blog · 3 months

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Snippet - Sachertorte - Forward but Never Forget/XOXO

The crew get a reporter intoxicated on more than Zaun's neon lights...

Forward, but Never Forget/XOXO

Snippet:

Dustin, blithely self-medicated on Janna-knew-what, was proof positive.

"Want some?" He proffered his joint. "They're passing 'em out at the Expo."

"They—what?"

Through pursed lips, Dustin blew out a misshapen ring. "Brightleaf, y'know. Free samples. It's a new strain. Supposed to keep the chest clear, make the lungs less congested. The benefits are pullomo—plomo—"

"Pulmonary?" you supplied.

"That's it! So what's your poison? Brightleaf? Z-Zap? Puffcap?"

"Thank you. But I'll pass."

"Puff-puff-pass?"

"Just pass."

It wasn't that you did not appreciate a good toke. You were a child of Piltover's golden age: the days of opium dens and cannabis clubs. But Zaun was not a place to be off one's head. Their tobacco was infamous for its potency. Also, you weren't sure you wanted to swap saliva with your unsavory-looking guide. You'd not had your shots, and you'd prefer not to catch an exotic strain of flu.

Not when the interview was less than twelve hours away.

"Your loss." Dustin threw a rubberband arm around your shoulders, and gave a squeeze. "Say, have you tried the sweets yet?"

"Sweets?"

"The sweet-shops at the Promenade. We've got a couple: Cray-Cray, Lollypop's, Mango-Splash. Best in town. The Li'l Miss goes to Lollypop's sometimes, after her gigs."

"The Li'l Miss?"

"You know. Jinx."

"Oh. Oh." You were relieved. For a moment, you'd feared being strongarmed into reviewing a strip-club. "I am told Zaun's patisseries are second-to-none."

"You can say that again!" A high-pitched cackle. "Hey, why don't we swing by a few? There's still time before the Expo. And Mister S, he won't mind. He wants you to take in the sights."

"Is the First Chancellor a fan of sweets, as well?"

"He's a fan of a lot of things. Sweet nothings. Sweet deals. Sweet cheeks." A wink. "Hey, have you tried our Sachertorte yet?"

"I—I cannot say I have."

"Wha-a-a-a-at? Lock, Ran, are you hearin' this?"

Lock was busy scraping the dregs from his bowl. Ran's reply was a laconic shrug. Their natural aptitude for indolence was beginning to strike you as the side-effect of a daily exposure to Dustin's ceaseless chatter. You wondered at the circumstances that had thrust these individuals—each a walking stereotype of Zaunite vice—into the Chancellor's inner circle.

Then again, you suspected their skillsets were far more specialized than the vices they seemed to represent.

"That's a shame," Dustin was saying, shaking his head. "That's a damn shame. Hey, why don't we drop by some shops? The Rack's got the best Sachertorte in town."

"Pssssh." Lock wiped his mouth. "The Rack's for the kids. All sugar. No kick."

"Well, what about the Honeypot? Punchiest opera cakes in the business."

"Too punchy," Ran hummed. "Takes a week to come down."

"Then how about the Laughing Coffin? I'm tellin' ya. They've got the meanest rum-baba."

"Bossman gave it a thumbs-down. He said, and I quote, 'Ich würde meinen größten Feind nicht an dieses Dessert verfüttern.'"

"Damn. Guess there's a reason they're going out of business."

"I say we hit the Piglet's Squeal," Lock said. "They do a decent macaroon."

Dustin grimaced. "No way, man. Too frilly. You'll catch a dose of cooties before rush hour."

"How about the Sugarplum Fairy? Eclairs to die for. Even the Bit of Ghostberry goes nuts for ‘em."

"Eh. Maybe. Hey, what do you think, Goodie?"

You'd been listening dizzily to their debate, hoping for an interlude to extricate yourself. Zaun's gastronomic scene was an entirely untapped market. Half the names dropped sounded, to your ears, like the opening lines of a particularly bawdy tavern song. The other half, however, were clearly establishments of repute.

Perhaps you could, in good faith, venture off-script to sample a few. After all, a journalist, if they wished to report the truth, must also live the truth.

In this case, you would eat it—and your own naivety—soon enough.

The Sugarplum Fairy was a glossy establishment, complete with a wrought-iron trellis of chem-nourished wisteria and an awning of glittering pink neon. As soon as you walked in, you were treated to a sensory assault: the aromatic waft of spun sugar, gingerbread baking, and a rich, fruity tang of liqueurs. The staff were a troupe of rainbow-aproned cuties. They wore striped stockings and frou-frou skirts. Their heads were topped by tiny chef's hats; their faces painted like dolls. They were all dimpling smiles, and spoke a Zaunite dialect so rapid it might have been the language of the pixies themselves.

Their shop was, you were told, a favorite haunt of Jinx. You could imagine the blue-haired firecracker skipping in, then sauntering out, leaving a trail of candy hearts and sugar-spun dreams in her wake.

You were also told that the First Chancellor patronized the shop once a year.

"It's true," a server gushed, her cheeks fetchingly a-glow. "Jinx enlisted our services to bake his fortieth birthday cake! He had a slice—oh, it was such an honor—and so the tradition began!"

"Tradition?"

"Every year, on the Day of Ash, he orders a special cake!"

"What kind of cake?"

"Plain bundt. No decoration. No icing. No candles."

"Whatever for?"

"Who can say?" She giggled. "Some say he's paying his respects to the fallen. Some say he's commemorating the days of rationing, when flour was as precious as gold. Some say he's simply a plain-Jane fellow at heart. Whatever the case, we're honored to be his purveyors. He tips very well."

Curiousor and curiouser, you thought.

The larger-than-life persona you'd collated from reports clashed with glimpses of this quieter, more private man. Perhaps his proclivity for austerity was the legacy of a childhood spent in the Sumps? Perhaps his taste for the simpler things reflected a deeper sense of humility? Perhaps it was a reminder of his roots, and a pledge to never forget them?

Or, perhaps, he simply enjoyed a good bundt cake.

The Sugarplum Fairy were as generous as their reputed patron. Each sampling was on the house. Their confectionary creations were a symphony of sugar and spice. Piltover has always prided itself on its sophisticated palate. Our desserts are inspired by the classics: soufflés, angelcakes, jam tarts. Zaun, conversely, was an untamed frontier: every flavor from the far-flung corners of Runeterra was distilled into a pot of bubbling sugar and set to simmer. The result was an extravaganza of culinary hybrids: Nazumah honey drizzled over Zhyunian strawberries; Bilgewater rum soaked into Bahrl's black-bean cakes; Demacian almond paste blended with spongy, melt-in-the-mouth Noxian pears.

Each mouthful was a journey across Zaun's variegated landscape. Some melted like liquid bliss on the tongue. Others exploded across the palate in a joyous expletive. By the end, your senses were reeling.

Then came the coup-de-grace.

The servers brought in four slices of decadently-rich double chocolate cake. The first layer was a dark fudgy delight; the second a velvety-smooth ganache; the third, a creamy milk chocolate mousse. The base was a hazelnut praline with a sprinkling of chopped pecans. Topped off with a swirl of vanilla cream and a dusting of icing sugar, the cake was as gorgeous as it was sinful.

"On the house," the servers cooed.

Ran's eyes lit up like an excited child. Lock rubbed his massive hands together. Dustin danced from foot to foot. Their effusive glee was contagious. In retrospect, you ought to have realized: there were a few too many winks and nudges. A pitch too high, a skip too fast, in their voices. A sense of something secret, something scandalous, afoot.

But you, babe in the woods, were too entranced by the sugar-coated charm. Too dazzled by the culinary wizardry.

Too stupid to spot the trap.

Four golden forks were presented. You each drove one into a glistening chocolate wedge and stuffed it in your mouths. Ran's eyes were closed. Dustin's head swayed back and forth on a gyre of glee. Lock grinned from ear-to-ear as he chewed. Like them, you could only marvel at the skill that had gone into making the perfect bite: the smoothness of the chocolate, the light crunch of the nuts, the airiness of the whipped cream.

This cake slid down your gullet with a sensation that made your shiver. It felt nearly lubricious. It felt—wicked.

"Merciful Janna," you sighed. "What is this?"

"The Sachertorte," they chorused.

"I've never tasted anything like it."

"You wouldn't." The server tittered. "It's a secret recipe. Passed down for generations. All I can say is: it's got a little bit of this and a little bit of that."

"This, and that, what?"

"Oh, you know." She batted her eyelashes. "A pinch of sugar, a dollop of honey, a dash of spice..."

"And?"

She put a finger to her lips. "And everything that makes Zaun oh-so-nice."

The edges of the shop began to ripple. Your head grew light. Butterflies—silky soft butterflies—danced in the pit of your belly. The sensation spread, in slow-motion, through every extremity, down to the tips of your fingers, up to the roots of your hair. You couldn't help but giggle. This was the feeling. The one you'd been chasing. The one you'd been after, since the days of youth, when you'd snuck your first taste of illicit fruit.

The euphoria. The bliss. The freedom.

In another minute, the body-stone was in full effect.

A word of advice, fair reader. Zaun's desserts are as deadly as its dead-ends.

To requote their favorite aphorism:

"Look out for yourself."

#arcane #arcane league of legends #arcane silco #silco #forward but never forget/xoxo #forward (never forget)/xoxo #arcane jinx #jinx #arcane ran #arcane lock #arcane dustin #arcane zaun #arcane piltover

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thecatfight2023 · 1 year

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The Bracket™ is here!

here are our competitors!

to space out the polls some, we have them divided in mini-brackets (each mini bracket will be posted a day as to not overwhelm everyone with all of the polls at once)

THIS WILL ALSO BE UPDATED TO HAVE THE LINKS TO THE POLLS!!

mini-bracket 1

Mewo (OMORI) V. Spider Cat (OMORI)

Domino (Amphibia) V. Ghost (The Owl House)

Thomas O’Malley (Aristocats) V. Marie (Aristocats)

Oliver (Oliver & Co.) V. Mochi (Big Hero 6)

Cat (Coraline) V. Cheshire Cat (Alice in Wonderland)

Tasque (Deltarune) V. Tubbs (Neko Atsume)

Daffodil (Spiritfarer) V. Black Cat (The Witch’s House)

Neite (Runescape) V. Black Cat (Divinity Original Sin 2)

Alpine (Marvel) V. Goose (Marvel)

Isis (Batman: The Animated Series) V. Alfred the Cat (DC)

Mikeko (Ace Attorney) V. Shoe (Ace Attorney)

Cats (Jet Set Radio Future) V. Shadow (Super Lesbian Animal RPG)

Fat Louie (The Princess Diaries) V. Orion (Men in Black)

Milo (Milo & Otis) V. Miss Kitty Fantastico (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

Cat God (Identity V) V. Yuumi (League of Legends)

Opalescence (MLP:FIM) V. Ice Cream Kitty (TMNT 2012)

mini-bracket 2

Ichigo Momomiya [cat form] (Tokyo Mew Mew) V. Alto (Tokyo Mew Mew)

Kyo Sohma [cat form] (Fruits Basket) V. Kuro (Blue Exorcist)

Sakamoto (Nichijou) V. Kuroneko (Trigun)

Prince (Genshin Impact) V. Neko (Genshin Impact)

Pusheen (Pusheen) V. Simon’s Cat (Simon’s Cat Animations)

Nyan Cat V. Minecraft cats

Video (Strong Hearts are Mandatory) V. Ginger (Brimstone and Roses)

Midnight (Castle in the Air) V. Jenny Linsky (Jenny Linsky books)

Schrodinger’s cat V. Tuna Sandwich (Kid Cosmic)

Pura (Crash Bandicoot) V. George (Spyro)

Tom F14 (Atom: The Beginning) V. Murr (The Case Study of Vanitas)

Mausfänger (Pentiment) V. Myau (Phantasy Star)

Cam (Squishmallow) V. Autumn (Squishmallow)

Serafina (Barbie Princess and the Pauper) V. Wolfie (Barbie Princess and the Pauper)

Melog (She-Ra 2018) V. Curious Cat (RWBY)

Judd + Lil Judd (Splatoon) V. Webkinz cats (all of them)

mini-bracket 3

Tama V. FDC Willard

Stray Cat J V. Pangur

Grumpy Cat V. Miette

Jinx V. Jorts

Gandalf V. Raymond

Smudge V. The Cat Foretold

Forever’s Brood V. Norman (SolidarityGaming)

Jellie (GoodTimesWithScar) V. BB (Jacksepticeye)

Garfield (Garfield) V. Meowth (Pokémon)

Puss In Boots (Shrek Cinematic Universe) V. Kitty Softpaws (Puss in Boots)

Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess cats V. The Garreg Mach Monastery cats (Fire Emblem: Three Houses)

Purrsula (Dragon Quest Treasures) V. Shiro/Blanche (House 1977)

Slugcat (RainWorld) V. Pussyfoot (Looney Tunes)

Li'l' Mittens (WordGirl) V. Mittens (Wander Over Yonder)

Greebo (Discworld) V. Maurice (Discworld)

You (Discworld) V. The Cat (Infinity Train)

mini-bracket 4

Cat (Ghost Trick) V. Cat (Stray)

Salem (Sabrina the Teenage Witch 1996) V. Binx (Hocus Pocus)

Firestar (Warrior Cats) V. Scourge (Warrior Cats)

Mothwing (Warrior Cats) V. Leafpool (Warrior Cats)

Sprigatito (Pokémon) V. Litten (Pokémon)

Meowstic (Pokémon) V. Shinx (Pokémon)

Jiji (Kiki’s Delivery Service) V. Luna (Sailor Moon)

Artemis (Sailor Moon) V. Diana (Sailor Moon)

Morgana (Persona 5) V. Ravage (Transformers)

Fukumaru (A Man and His Cat) V. Nyanko-Sensei (Natsume Yuujinchou)

The Judge (OFF) V. Mr. Midnight (Fran Bow)

Khoshekh (WTNV) V. Catbus (My Neighbor Totoro)

Grudge (Star Trek: Discovery) V. Spot (Star Trek: The Next Generation)

Lumi (Cats are Liquid) V. 808 (Hi-Fi Rush)

Ser Pounce-A-Lot (Dragon Age) V. Warmseeker (Elder Scrolls Online)

Frumpkin (Critical Role) V. The Admiral (TMA)

polls for mini-bracket 1 will be scheduled to post around 2 pm EST tomorrow! also reminder they will be open for 1 day each!

propaganda is encouraged!! go wild! we will do our best to reblog as much as we can and it will be tagged with "purr-opaganda" (for those who want to filter the tag). we also recommend making propaganda for your cat blorbos sooner rather than later so there's a chance for them to win!!

-mod orange

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riverdalegang · 4 years

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June 1965. Archie's Girls Betty and Veronica, issue #114

#Archie Comics #Li'l Jinx #Joe Edwards #1960s #riverdalegang #1 page story #riverdalegangstory

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chaptertwo-thepacnw · 4 years

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they sure are! |2020|

#illustration #li'l jinx #stupid boys #archie comics #fan art #pop art #2020

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terebifunhouse · 2 years

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desire, longing, loss, and groovy stationery this week at Mister Kitty's Stupid Comics! https://misterkitty.net/extras/stupidcovers/stupidcomics759.html

#li'l jinx #archie comics #1960s comics #stupid comics

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spkcomics · 7 years

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Betty and Veronica 111

(no spanking)

#Betty and Veronica #comic books #little girl #corner time #li'l jinx

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jhsharman · 5 months

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cheese whiz

His broken smile shines further down into his collar, I guess.

It's funny because he's missing teeth.

#Archie Comics #Li'l Jinx #Greg #Dental hygiene #Teeth #smile #photography #Joe Edwards #1980

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dirtyriver · 2 years

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Jinx's Grim Fairy Tales, cover by Francesco Francavilla

#Comics #Archie #Horror #Jinx #Li'l Jinx #Francesco Francavilla

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smashpages · 1 year

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Li’l Jinx returns to Archie Horror for ‘A Cursed Life’

Magdalene Visaggio and Craig Cermak reunite for a new story featuring the mischievous Jinx.

#jinx: a cursed life #archie horror #archie comics #magdalene visaggio #craig cermak #comics #comic books #li'l jinx

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ubu507 · 5 years

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the nullity of the media

#archie #comics #li'l jinx

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lullabyes22-blog · 1 year

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How do you think both Silco and Viktor would act high on weed?

cw: drug use

I can see Viktor becoming deeply drowsy, with a lazy little smile and sluggish movements. He wouldn't talk much; just sit in a corner, lost in his own chemical-fueled haze. At some point, he might say, "Yes! It makes sense now," and "I must write this down!" then lapse back into a glazed silence.

At some point he'd fall asleep, and remember very little of his own brilliant deductions upon waking. Aww.

I predominantly see Silco as more of an 'uppers' than 'downers' kind of user (pssst? got cocaine?). On the rare occasion he partakes in weed, he'd not take more than a few tokes. If he does get high, he'd be one of those types who gets jittery and shifty-eyed. Dead giveaway would be a crooked little grin paired with strange non-sequiturs on class inequality, economic stagnation and deepsea fish.

At some point, he'd get hungry and order a round of takeout from Jericho's for the whole crew. Dustin would suggest they get the boss high more often. Sevika would suggest he not use "the boss" and "high" in the same sentence again if he wants to keep all his teeth.

Eventually, he'd disappear from his office. They'd find him in Jinx's hideout, where he'd be listening rapt as Jinx introduces her gadgets and he receives them with grave formality, royal ball style. (She'd notice nothing amiss about him at all. "Silly's just being a li'l silly.")

#arcane #arcane league of legends #arcane headcanons #arcane headcanon #asks #arcane silco #arcane viktor #silco #viktor

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thecatfight2023 · 1 year

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Updated Bracket™!

here are our round 2 competitors!

the polls for now are staying in four mini-brackets, but will merge into two brackets for round three!

THIS WILL ALSO BE UPDATED TO HAVE THE LINKS TO THE POLLS!!

mini-bracket 1

Mewo (OMORI) V. Ghost (The Owl House)

Marie (Aristocats) V. Mochi (Big Hero 6)

Cat (Coraline) V. Tubbs (Neko Atsume)

Daffodil (Spiritfarer) V. Black Cat (Divinity Original Sin 2)

Goose (Marvel) V. Alfred the Cat (DC)

Mikeko (Ace Attorney) V. Shadow (Super Lesbian Animal RPG)

Fat Louie (The Princess Diaries) V. Milo (Milo & Otis)

Cat God (Identity V) V. Ice Cream Kitty (TMNT 2012)

mini-bracket 2

Ichigo Momomiya [cat form] (Tokyo Mew Mew) V. Kyo Sohma [cat form] (Fruits Basket)

Kuroneko (Trigun) V. Neko (Genshin Impact)

Pusheen (Pusheen) V. Nyan Cat

Video (Strong Hearts are Mandatory) V. Midnight (Castle in the Air)

Schrodinger’s cat V. Pura (Crash Bandicoot)

Murr (The Case Study of Vanitas) V. Mausfänger (Pentiment)

Cam (Squishmallow) V. Wolfie (Barbie Princess and the Pauper)

Melog (She-Ra 2018) V. Webkinz cats (all of them)

mini-bracket 3

Tama V. Stray Cat J

Miette V. Jinx

Gandalf V. Smudge

Norman (SolidarityGaming) V. Jellie (GoodTimesWithScar)

Meowth (Pokémon) V. Kitty Softpaws (Puss in Boots)

Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess cats V. Shiro/Blanche (House 1977)

Slugcat (RainWorld) V. Li'l' Mittens (WordGirl)

Maurice (Discworld) V. The Cat (Infinity Train)

mini-bracket 4

Cat (Stray) V. Salem (Sabrina the Teenage Witch 1996)

Firestar (Warrior Cats) V. Leafpool (Warrior Cats)

Sprigatito (Pokémon) V. Shinx (Pokémon)

Jiji (Kiki’s Delivery Service) V. Artemis (Sailor Moon)

Ravage (Transformers) V. Nyanko-Sensei (Natsume Yuujinchou)

Mr. Midnight (Fran Bow) V. Khoshekh (WTNV)

Spot (Star Trek: The Next Generation) V. Lumi (Cats are Liquid)

Ser Pounce-A-Lot (Dragon Age) V. Frumpkin (Critical Role)

polls forthcoming (hopefully tomorrow), but will still post around 2 pm EST whatever day that ends up being! reminder they will be open for 1 day each!

again, propaganda is encouraged!! go wild! we will do our best to reblog as much as we can and it will be tagged with "purr-opaganda" (for those who want to filter the tag). we also recommend making propaganda for your cat blorbos sooner rather than later so there's a chance for them to win!!

-mod orange

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