#like I didn't get to explain how I feel and how my depression affects me or my goals or anything

[vitiateoriginator]

Remembering the last time I started therapy again, where my new shrink talked to me for 20 minutes, barely let me get a word in before proclaiming I need to be on antidepressants, and then cut the session short

#this is the same shrink who called me this past july after not contacting me since January btw #I hadn't gotten to tell her more than ''my family is emotionally abusive and my dad died'' before she said I need medication #like I didn't get to explain how I feel and how my depression affects me or my goals or anything #she lectured me about how our sessions proceeded to not follow said protocol barely got to know me #then insisted I should be on meds #she was a psychologist btw I'd just seen the psychiatrist right before our session and he said I was fine #and free to choose if I wanted to start meds or not #meanwhile my psychologist was like ''no I insist you go on antidepressants Im going to make a note for the doctor for you'' #like bitch no tf you ain't #anyways that was fun (not) #makes me hesitant to try therapy again but at the same time I really fuckinh want to #just waiting for my work medical to kick in #sam's rants about life

[badgyalshii]

ITS NEVER OVER |||| (FINALE)

Word count: 4.1k

Paul Atredies x F!Reader (always safe for POCS + PLUSSIZE)

warnings: do NOT read this without reading the past chapters! This is the FINALE. Depression, language, death.

A/n: no words can describe how much this fic lowkey affected me, im greatful for my new followers and thank you for reading this and riding in this journey with me! I love you all, and proceed with caution, and once yr done reading come ttm!

READDDD THE FIRST CHAPTERS! LAST WARNING ITS RLLY GOOD🙄 I . II . III . IV .

Although you and chani shared a room,it still felt like something was missing, and it was clearly paul. You were already scared, but now you grew uncomfortable, you knew these people around you, but it was clear as day something changed, and both you and chani spoke about it, the tension in the air thick between the people you knew your whole life, something was up. You still didn't know where he was and you explained this to chani which she held you in her arms and listened to you vent while softly messing with your hair. ¨he will find you, he will come back, paul is strong, y/n, smart¨ she muttered, looking at you. You would cry if you could, but you never did. It was a rule, don't waste water, so it was in your bones not to cry. It was still your first day coming back to the palace, and it was late at night, you barely heard any footsteps outside of the rather big, dark, and quiet room.

¨maybe i should try to find him?¨ you said, looking at up chani and she let out a sigh before letting you go and touching her chin, rubbing it before coming up to your cheek. ¨you deserve rest. This is too much, enough about paul y/n! Just sleep. That's all you need to do, he will find you¨ her tone was demanding to which you didn't understand why, you furrowed your eyebrows and looked at her sadly, and she laughed before standing up. ¨you know what? Do what you want to y/n. 6 years on the road for what! I've spent my years with you, and you aren't appreciative at all, it hurts my feelings,¨ she revealed, putting her hands on her hips and pacing. ¨paul, paul, paul! Go find him! And when you do and hes not the same dont even fucking talk to me¨ she laughed. ¨chani, don't be like this-¨

¨like what? Seriously, what? If thats what you want, go fucking get it. Because I'm done. I've done enough! You can't even live without paul! Have you not learned anything on your own? From stilgars teachings? From me?!¨ She blew up, all the things she wanted to finally say, she said, before she couldn't, because she tried her best to hear you out, but god you are so hard headed. She didn't even want to look at you. ¨why are you treating me like this?¨ you whispered, looking at her hurt. There was a lump in your throat and your lip pouted. ¨stop treating me like this¨ you said, looking at her begging. ¨you're so unbelievable. I hope you find what you want¨ she sighed and exited the door. You watched as she left before standing and trying to push the frog in your throat down with your knuckles.

This was all so sudden, why does she feel this way? Why did she do that to you? What did you do that was so wrong. But you were now awoken, aware that she wasn't wrong at all, and it hurt. It hurt that you were this way, could you live without paul? It wasn't your fault that you felt like this, maybe she was just jealous, but that isn't the right way of thinking. You laid in the cotton sheets and sat in the darkness, thinking, drifting throughout all of your thoughts as your throat clogged up and you tried your hardest to fight the feeling, but you couldn't. You let out a weak sob, trying to fight the tears that were about to escape your eyes. You swallowed, why? How long had she been feeling this way? Did she secretly hate you? Does she hate you? Maybe you're exaggerating. You came to terms with that and hoped when you slept you woke up to paul.

Knock knock knock

You woke up in a panic, how long have you slept? Was it the next morning? The room was horrifyingly black and you'd been in such a trance you forget what happened before you went to sleep. You heard the knocks again and you became nervous, slowly standing and wondering if you should pretend like you just weren't there, and suddenly the door opened, hardened eyes looked at you, you could feel it, but you couldn't see it. You heard the door creek as it continued to open until the door hit the wall with a small bang.

You slowly crouched down, reaching for the dagger that was in your boot, ̈hello?!¨ you called out after you stood in position. What the fuck was going on? So many thoughts coursed through your head as you wondered who was looking at you, would they say anything back? What should-

¨ Empress irulan has called you for dinner¨ the deep dark voice said, before reaching for the light and flickering it on. You let out an oh and your position changed to an awkward one, putting the dagger in your pocket before he turned the light on. You nodded your head, before letting out a chuckle. ¨erm, didn't know there was a light¨ he didn't find it funny, but he didn't look like he found anything funny. He wore a mask that covered his mouth and his eyebrows looked like he was always angry. ¨follow me¨ he said before turning around, and started walking without you.

It didn't take you long to follow him, the halls were long and quiet, only light from the chandeliers supporting your vision, if it wasn't such a gut sickening situation, the place would seem cooler and more lovely. The only thing that could be heard is the guards hard steps against the pavement of the floor. You looked around and tried to take in the area but every time you tried to think about something positive you couldn't help but think maybe this was the night you were gonna die. You had no protection besides your own, considering chani was mad and ran off to wherever. ¨bitch¨ you muttered under your breath thinking about it, and that seemed to take over your mind now. Why would she do that? What an asshole, and you both could have just talked about it! No need to blow up in your face, trash. You seemed to still be angry about it as you arrived to the door.

You finally arrived at the offly secret room, the entire room was black, the only thing that shined was the dinner table and irulan since there was a single chandelier hanging almost close to touch the dinner table, which must've been sturdy. Irulan sipping wine with a dinner plate in front of her and the same thing on the opposite side of her, guessing that space was for you. “Your majesty” the guard says, irulan looks over at the guard and the guard took notice before nodding, leaving the premises.

There you were, all alone, or you'd hope, with Irulan. Truth was, you could take her on your own no problem. You silently walked over and she watched you the entire time, you pulled out your own seat before scooting yourself in. you cleared your throat and looked ahead. Pretty embarrassing, if you will.

Irulan was dressed in silks, diamonds, everything anyone would want, her hair soft, teeth white and the way she stared at you like you were so beneath her was infuriating, but also made you insecure. You knew how you looked. Your hair is messy. Rips in your clothes. Self care isn't really relevant when you're on the road. She sipped her wine slowly, watching your every move before she set down the glass, and when she did, it was an offly loud sound. You awkwardly looked at her, you tried, tried your hardest actually to hide the fact that you were nervous, that you were scared, but the way that Irulan was looking at you, it was as if she could already tell.

Looking at this glorious food and wine made your throat quench, your mouth watering at the sight. It was filled with mashed potatoes, steak and vegetables, clearly from somewhere else because on this planet you don't really get such fantasies. You looked down at the meal and pursed your lips together, it wasn't that serious, but when you've been looking for scraps for years, and there was a plate just looking at you, waiting for it to be eaten, there's only so much you could do.

You didn't trust it, you averted your eyes from the plate and back up to her. ¨you can eat, you know¨ she said, her voice stern and upright as a smirk played on her lips. She couldn't help but laugh, her white teeth showcasing while you sat there, nervous, suspicious, annoyed, but now, embarrassed. Was there no way you could beat her? Was she just better than you? That wasn't even the point, was she aiming to kill you tonight.

You shut out all of the questions, this was a shot to assert your dominance.your eyebrows furrow in a suspicious state and you placed your hands together. ¨why am I here?¨and you broke her laugh, her eyebrows raised as she cleared her throat. This time, you sat tall, your voice strong. Stronger than you thought it would be. She came back to sitting straight and took a sip of her wine once again.

¨why did you come back?¨ she answered your question with another question. You looked at her before wincing your eyes, ¨is this about paul-¨ before you could finish your sentence, she cleared her throat and flashed you a soft smile. ¨We haven't talked since the wedding, won't even have a child for the sake of his bloodline¨ she said, now she has become comfortable. Picking up her glass and moving it to where the liquid forms into a circle. You had nothing to say. ¨you're a very smart girl¨ she says, looking at the glass.

¨I am a woman, thank you¨ you stated, you sat up, she eyed you, her head slowly turning up as she looked at you up and down once again. The room fell quiet. Weirdly quiet. She studied you again and again, as if she was trying to find out about you. ¨do you have secrets?¨ she asked, picking up her fork and taking a bite of her steak. ¨doesn't everyone?¨ you replied. The way she bit the steak, man, you wanted a piece. You could feel your stomach rumble. She chewed and nodded her head. ¨is the reason why you came back a secret?¨ she asked, swallowing her steak.

¨i came back because paul is the one i love-¨ ¨he's changed¨ irulan cut you off. ¨lots of blood on your hands can make you a changed person, you'll see¨ she winked and pointed her fork at you. Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion, ¨how do you know if you guys haven't talked since the wedding?¨ you argued, but you didn't want to fight it off, you wanted to hear what she had to say. ¨you'll see it, in his eyes-¨ ¨everyone knows his eyes are blue-¨

¨it's not that, y/n. Hes….what is a good way to say this¨ she thought out loud. ¨grumpy¨ she finished, before taking another bite of her steak. ¨and by grumpy you mean what?¨ ¨lazy¨ she replies, now taking a bite of her mashed potatoes before she looks up at you. ¨How could he be lazy if he's been gone for two years trying to find me? You know, I don't understand you. What are you trying to get out of me? Hm? What do you want?¨ you put your hands on the table about to lift yourself so suddenly before irulan stood and told you not to move. ¨I ordered the guards to watch and if you make any sudden movements they will take you out no hesitancy, i recommend you sit¨ she says quickly. You look in her eyes, it showed genuine concern as her hand was on yours.

¨ So you're scared of me?¨ you lowered, she sat along with you before shrugging and drinking the rest of what was in her wine glass. ¨let's be honest, you could have taken me out the first time you saw me . irulan says, you say nothing as you watch her, ̈and the food is poisoned?¨ you asked. She shook her head no, all this time wasted, you could've been with chani, you could've left, to find paul,, but here you sat. ¨so once again. Why am i here?¨ you asked again.

¨I don't want to be weak to others, if Paul comes back, I don't want anyone to know about you guys¨ she answers genuinely, it seems as if she's quite tipsy. You chuckle ¨irulan. Everyone does,¨ this was surprising, and how could irulan possibly want you to hide your love for paul when that's all you've really known, even in public, holding hands, considerably long hugs, small and innocent kisses. ¨ Now if you would excuse me¨ you look up, around before slowly standing, leaving irulan where she was. She looked at you, watched you intently and her eyes sat fierce, almost telling you to watch your back silently. You let out a breath before taking the plate and the wine with you, exiting the door and now having to find your way back to your room.

What a shitshow in one day, you would've thought things went way different, and you thought about it in your head, the scenario you had as you continued to walk through the halls.

You ran to the walls of the palace, and the security guard finally smiled for once in his life, considering the usual role he had to play as the job. You imagined he told you, “Paul's waiting, go to your room” and somehow you just knew where the room was. You'd see paul, paul sleeping, wondering what he dreamed of, since he was sleeping such soft snores, his nose flaring only from time to time. His eyebrows relaxed, his lightly chapped lips parted, taking in the air and softly breathing out. He wasn't tucked into the bed- no only when you were there to touch him and hold him in his sleep. He was shirtless, you touched his arm and softly forwarded it to the side of his cheek and up to his hair. His eyebrows would furrow before he opened his eyes, and when he did he blinked twice. Oh you remembered this like your left and your right, he wouldn't believe it, he would be so desperate in such a good situation, he cried for it. You'd make love to teach others before the night ended how it usually did, with you holding him and running your hands all through his hair and you both fell asleep.

You were so stuck in the dream that you bumped shoulders with someone, you caught a quick smell of this other, they smelled of salt and sand and as they took another step, you heard the crunch from his shoes. “Sorry” you let out a mutter, it came out in a groggy tone, didn't sound like you usually do, you sounded weak, sad and it didn't help that your head was hung low. He let out a hum and continued walking, at this point, you didn't care anymore, your day was already bad. You continued to walk, stepping and not picking up your feet before you decided maybe it was time to try the mashed potatoes that were on the plate, before you heard footsteps running to you, you looked over, did irulan just send one of her guards to you? But as he got closer, you saw his eyes, hazel, just looking at you and staring at you whilst he ran. You dropped the plate but kept the knife that was on the plate and stood in position for the second time today.

As the unknown person ran to you, you tried to breathe faster, heavier to tell when they were close, there he was! Quick! His hands reached out to you and when he pressed his body to yours, there was a squelch sound, of the knife breaking skin. You looked into the eyes that were pouring into your own with fear on your face, had you just made a mistake? The hazel eyes piercing your own were in shock, also covered in fear and you heard his mouth become agape. What the fuck just happened? Who is this?

You reach up with your free hand as he continued to hold you tightly and leaned on you, letting out a mutter, ¨y/n¨ he let out, you took off the mask and, ¨oh my god, no…no no no¨ your eyebrows furrowed as your mouth became agape. You froze and your hands shook, guilt covering your body.

¨paul¨ you said, when he tried to talk, he coughed blood on your face, drops of blood on the side of your lips and on your cheek, you let go of the knife in your hand and his body weight completely leaned on you making you both fall down. ¨paul paul paul, no!¨ you yelled, ¨no!¨ this couldn't be true, you were washed of accidental betrayal. All the blood dropped from your head to your feet. You laid him flat on his back and he choked every time he breathed, ¨talk to me! Please keep breathing, please, paul, please, it was an accident!¨ you let out, you sat in his lap and looked at the wound, you wouldn't be able to take off his thick cover as a shirt without taking out the knife, the handle was too thick. Sniffles came to your nose as you let out a loud fuck. ¨c-calm..do-wn¨ he choked. You looked at him before ripping off your shirt and wrapping it around his both to apply pressure to the wound. You leaned up and put your hand on the side of his cheek, your hand covered in his blood as you pleaded for him to stay alive. When he started to be unresponsive, still breathing and looking at you, trying to speak, you called out for help, yelled out that paul atreides has been stabbed, the emperor has been stabbed!

Guards instantly came and ripped you off of him, they put you in shitty and gritty handcuffs that itched your hands, but you weren't focused on that, tears brimmed your eyes as you watched the blood continue to pour from his mouth, he looked over, his body jittering, his lips moving as he was trying to tell you something, ¨i-i..found..¨ his hand reached up to you. ¨paul! Please!¨ you cried, yelling, the guards pulled you away and you shouted, ¨i love you! Please, hold on! Wait for me!” you yelled, you tried breaking out of the guards firm hands but it was no use, and it was probably better that way, better to get him to safety. You sniffled again and your head hung low as they pulled you to wherever.

You traveled down the stairs, into this place you didn't know, but as you continued to walk, there were cells, prison cells. People in them looked desperate, starved. Tears continued to stroll down your cheek, why? Why out of all days, you are positive you just killed the love of your life, and you didn't even hesitate. They took off the cuffs and threw you in a cell, you fell to the ground and on your knees as the guards looked down at you from the other side of the gate. ¨just, tell me when he is alive…please ̈ you begged, looking up at them. One laughed while the other shook his head at you before they both walked away.

The cell was cold and looking at the marks on the wall, you could tell this isn't the place to be. You sat on the ground, knees up to your chest, you didn't want to eat, you didn't want to sleep, you just wanted to know if Paul was alive, it had been three days, men in the cells were picking at you, but you paid them no mind. Three shitty trays of food sat in front of you, a guard felt bad for you, telling you, you should eat something, but you just couldn't. You sat in the same position they left you in, lips chapped, body shivering, and you were sure you would never return.

Suddenly, you heard something from the intercom, clear as day, you looked up to the speaker in your cell, ¨excuse me¨ you heard them clear their throat, this was the time, to know if he was alive, you stood and paced, waited on them to speak again, anxiety in your stomach and a rock laid in your throat, you tried to push it down with your knuckles. You looked at the speaker, eager and needy. ¨our emperor,¨ they cleared their throat again…you put your hands on your hair, ¨hurry up!¨ you yelled, still pacing.

¨has fallen¨ a shriek left your lips, hurt washed through your body and you fell on your knees again. Prisoners cheered through the cells, hell yeahs, wooo!´s. You grabbed your heart as cries escaped your lips, your throat hurt, you screamed from the top of your lungs. ¨y/n y/l/n has murdered the emperor¨ your mouth only fell more and you covered it with the palm of your hand. ¨holy! Ain't that you?!¨ the prisoner across from you said, while pointing at you. You said nothing, but he laughed. ¨emperor got killed by a girl!¨ he joked, but then, people started cheering you on now.

You heard a chant of your name and it made your head almost dizzy. ¨no! Shut up! Shut up!¨ you yelled, voice hoarse, no one could hear you the way they screamed and cheered, smiles on their faces. You lost so much breath your vision was poor, but then you heard your cell being opened, you laid over, looking at the ground before you felt guards grabbing you from under your armpits and lifting you up, your feet dragged as they were forced to move you. You still heard others shouting your name. What was this? Where were they taking you? You couldn't focus on one thing, and when you closed your eyes, they stayed close.

When you awoke, your neck and wrists were restrained, when you opened your eyes and looked up, there was a crowd, filled with freman, your people, shouting kill her. Your eyebrows furrowed when you looked at your wrists, you were about to be beheaded. You shook and tried to get out of there. Others laughed and you looked up again. They stood chani and paul's mother, chani looked sick, this wasn't true. Irulan stood there also, a black veil on her head as she watched you, no emotion on her face, but then suddenly there was a smirk. ¨silence!¨ a man yelled over the crowd, ¨does anyone object to this death sentence?¨ he yelled over. You looked at chani, then Lady Jessica, your eyes pleaded, but the way they wanted you dead, if they tried to fight for you, it seemed like they would be in your situation also. Stilgar looked at you with a stern, hard and stiff look. All these people, all your people, just turned a blind eye to the love you and Paul shared, you didn't even get a chance to explain yourself, would you go out unheard? Your breath quickened and you tried to calm yourself, tried to make peace, but once you blinked your eyes, they never opened.

This was it, you were dead. At least you would meet him on the other side. Looking back on it, maybe this was meant to be, in a way, it was beautiful. The pair suffered when they were not together, but now they get everlasting peace and happiness. Maybe they would get married, walk along the green grass, dress in all white, have a few kids together. They had each other, through thick and thin, when they hadn't seen each other for years their hearts were still connected and thought about each other everyday. But this is the end. Lovers now turn into soulmates as they fade off in the air together, and never look back.

TAGLIST 🏷

@huh01011 @heartsforchalamet

#dune part 2 #paul atredies x black!reader #paul atredies x reader #paul atreides #timothee chalamet x reader #timothee chamalet x black!reader #timothee x you #paul atredies smut #timothee chalamet smut #paul atreides x reader #timothee chamalet series #paul atredies series #paul atredies x you #angst #betrayal #IM SO SORRY TO THE PEOPLE WHO READ THIS!

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Am I the asshole for getting upset at my sister after she lied to me?

I (17F) have been watching a show my sister (25F) recommended to me. I really enjoyed it and had been talking to her about it.

Recently, I accidentally saw a comment somewhere that implied a character's death in the show, I don't like spoilers so I tried to forget or move on but major character deaths in media are really hard for me and trigger my anxiety so I decided to ask my sister about it directly.

She told me that the character does not die and this relieved my worries so I kept watching the show. But, the character does actually die, in a very depressing way, which made me really upset and even made me dissociate after watching.

I asked my sister why she lied to me and she told me she just wanted it to be a surprise. I explained to her that I wouldn't ask her for no reason and that I wanted her to tell me the truth.

She brushed me off and said that I should've said that then. This made me mad because how was I supposed to know she was lying to me? Or that I have to always clarify after every question I make that I need them to be truthful?

I told her I couldn't watch the show anymore and she laughed at me. I don't have a problem with her making fun of me but it made me feel like I might've been in the wrong for confronting her or for dropping the show entirely.

And the thing is, she's seen the way stuff like this affects me. She once showed me a movie in which the main character, who is a child, dies in a very upsetting way. I had to leave and had a panic attack in the bathroom, which she didn't really care about.

It's also not like this always happens to me when a character dies, I've had time to learn how to control it and usually have time to prepare when I can see it coming, but that's the reason I asked her in the first place and she lied to me.

And I don't know if I should mention this but my sister is a therapist lol. I know she's not supposed to mix her job with her personal life or whatever but I don't understand how someone like her couldn't handle a situation like this better.

Should I get over it and apologize?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[strongheartneteyam]

Realize where you belong.

Pairing: neteyam sully x female!human!reader/female!dreamwalker!reader

Chapter 7

CW: a good amount of angst, reader finally is letting neteyam in and realizing how she does truly love him too, physical contact, neteyam suffering while holding back from mating w/ reader, mentions of sex, yearning, sexual language, reader and neteyam acting like a cute couple, playful flirting, reader is more vulnerable with neteyam, a lot of fluff, reader feels guilty about the way she's been treating neteyam. Tell me if I'm missing something important!

Sorry for taking long to update, my angels 🥺🤍 unfortunately I'm going through a tough path in my personal life rn and bc of that I fell on a horrible depressive episode that I'm still on. So, my motivation to do stuff is very low at the moment and as I have to deal with my adult responsibilities that I can't run from bc nobody can, rn the best I'm able to do is focus the tiny bit of energy I have onto getting them done. I won't be able to update my fanfics as fast as I used to for some time. Can't say how long, it's not under my control currently, sorry :( But I LOVE writing, it's a great escape for me, from life problems and stuff, so, I really do not plan on stop writing fanfiction. I promise! Don't worry too much. Some of the upcoming chapters of this fanfiction, for example, are already saved on my Google Docs. I'll take longer but I won't stop updating. Anyway, I'm a tiny bit (ok maybe much more than that lol) insecure about this chapter but I hope y'all like it. Seeing your comments about the fic would make me incredibly happy. I'm needing some serotonin right now 🥲 Thanks for reading my writings ♡

Not proofread. Sorry if some parts are a bit messed up. I'll proofread it as soon as I can <3

Chapter 6

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

You gave me roses and I left them there to die

So this is me swallowin' my pride

Standin' in front of you sayin' I'm sorry for that night

(...)

It turns out freedom ain't nothin' but missin' you

Back to December (Taylor Swift)

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

You inclined yourself slowly and sheepishly in Neteyam's direction, still feeling guilty for the way you had been treating him before. Neteyam sensed your self doubt and quickly swept you off your feet, taking you inside his arms, so he could finally get the hug he had been dying for, so he could finally feel your small body against his bigger one. His big hands were now under your thighs, securing you in place against his warm body. That closeness, his touch… it all felt incredibly good. You cursed yourself for pushing him away and postponing that moment. To think you could have felt that before and you didn't… "Stupid girl" you thought.

You were now really far from the ground but you felt safe. Now you knew Neteyam would always protect you. He would not let you fall and get hurt. He was not and had never been a threat to you. There was not and there never was any reason for you to be afraid of him.

"Oeyä yawne…" (my beloved) "You feel so soft and tiny… Eywa… Nga yawne lu oer" (I love you) His voice was choked with emotion as he held back tears of joy while he hugged you as tight as he was able to - without hurting you - and you rested your head upon his shoulder. Your nose was hovering over his neck and you sniffed his skin, smelling his natural, cozy scent. It was intoxicating, drawing you in, making you wanna stay like that forever. 

You breathed in deep and relaxed inside his huge arms that held you for the first time but still strangely felt like home, like you had felt them around you a thousand times already. If you believed in past lives - which you didn't - you'd explain this odd but amazing feeling as you having found your soulmate again, in this current life. There was no fear of Neteyam inside of you anymore. You only yearned for more and more of him, only a burning affection kept your whole being warm, just like his massive body did too.

"There's still something I need to ask of you, if this is gonna work out between us." You said, breaking the hug for a while to look him in the eye

"Say it, yawne."

Neteyam was still so utterly happy that he did not even seem to be shaken by that, which he could have been

"You know why I pushed you away. First of all, finding out an alien double your size has been stalking you is freaking unnerving." You still gazed into his eyes, wanting him to pay attention to your words "Second, you acted like a creep. At least compared to the way human guys act around girls they're interested in. I don't really have any experience dating na'vi boys, you know?" You choked a little as you were trying hard to hold back laughter

"Ouch…" Neteyam playfully pretended to be extremely hurt by your previous statements. He chuckled "In my defense, I'd say my instincts are to blame, not me, exactly." You gave him a death stare, but in a playful manner too "When I saw you, I knew you would be the perfect mate for me and I had to make you mine. Everything about you rubbed me just the right way."

You smiled. He was being silly and so sweet. You just could not resist it.

"By the way, when did you see me for the first time?" 

Neteyam seemed to get shy after that question. You wondered why.

"I fell in love with you while you were in your Avatar body, yawntu. That's when I first saw you." Neteyam looked up at you again, smiling but showing no teeth

"You what?" You questioned him, a bit shocked but you could not bring yourself to be mad at him, though. Imagining him hiding behind trees and up in branches to watch you silently seemed adorable in your eyes, now. 

And yes, you knew it sounded crazy, to find someone who used to literally stalk you adorable, but nobody said that anything that was happening to you right now made any sense. Not even you would try to.

"How did I never notice you were around?" You shook your head in disapproval of your distraction back in the forest.

What if it had been a na'vi who did not trust you a single bit to even let you Dreamwalk freely, without grabbing you by the arm and taking you to the Olo'eyktan and the Tsahìk? Some na'vi hated humans to that point. And, as you always said and always would say, you had a great empathy towards them and could imagine yourself feeling the same way if you were na'vi. You could never bring yourself to judge them as harshly as way too many humans did. You knew they were not the villains of the story. But still, what if that na'vi tried to hurt you? You felt tense at the thought.

Neteyam noticed your uneasiness and tried to calm you.

"Don't worry, yawne. I'm a great warrior. A big part of being a good warrior is being really focused on one's mission and knowing how to get by as unnoticed as possible. So many other humans in their Avatars and even many, many na'vi wouldn't notice me, either."

Neteyam still wanted to call those other humans "demons in false bodies" but he was not going to. He knew it would hurt you and make you feel like he was talking about you too. But he was not. Whenever he had called you "demon", it never meant the same thing as it would mean if he was talking about any other human. But he knew it would be hard for you to understand. So he promised himself that he would never call you "demon" again. After that eclipse night when the both of you were talking in front of your bedroom window, he realized how much it hurt you when he called you that. He hated himself for bringing you pain. And his heart hurt so badly when he thought about the possibility of you pushing him away again. It made him want to hold onto your small, frail body tightly and say "Please, don't leave me! I can't be without you again… Please…"

"If you say so… I still think I should've been more careful, though." You say, still feeling a little nervous and thinking that maybe you had not been the best student when attending to your classes about na'vi behavior and that maybe you didn't pay enough attention to warnings they may have given about being mindful of your surroundings when Dreamwalking 

"I promise it's okay. It was not your fault, yawntu. I'm just good at what I do." His smile clearly showed he was proud of being a good warrior

"Ok, then." You smiled back at him and the both of you laughed a bit.

Suddenly, he stopped smiling and his gaze dropped to your lips, that were not that far from his own lips, if it wasn't for that damn oxygen mask. You felt like he wanted to kiss you. The moment was awkward but in a good way. He could not kiss you with the mask on, so, instead, he smiled at you once again and looked down at the floor, bashful.

You touched his huge, gorgeous face and he looked up at you again "So, about what we were talking about before… Just try to be a little less… upfront about what you feel for me. I mean… sexually. I love that you want me this much because I want you too, Neteyam. A lot, actually. You're… really freaking hot." He smiled, blissful, and his cat-like eyes sparkled as he heard that, his ears perking up. "But you're a bit too much, at times. If you could just tone it down a bit…" Neteyam looked a little ashamed and insecure, so, you rubbed your thumb on his soft skin, to reassure him you still longed for him too "At least while I get used to your na'vi nature, it would be great. Please, try to understand me… It's a whole new world I'm just now discovering. But it doesn't mean I don't love you and don't want you and it doesn't mean you should feel insecure." You smiled gently, showing no teeth. 

Neteyam looked a bit sad again after you finished your sentence and you totally understood why. In his na'vi mind, you were practically rejecting him. That was who he truly was, animalistic and a bit too much to your human standards. He must feel like who he is was not enough or good in your eyes.

"Hey" You cupped his face again "I wanna do something. Just let me take this mask off, first." You wanted to reassure Neteyam of your feelings for him by giving him a kiss.

"Yawne, no! You can't breathe without it. You could die really fast! I'm not gonna let you do it."

"So you don't want a kiss, Neteyam Suli? I thought you'd want it, judging by the way you have been stalking me and by our interaction that night, outside my bedroom's window." You teased him and his face lit up

Neteyam gave you an excited smile. The way his full lips curled up as he quickly pondered about the pros and cons of your offer was so beautiful, almost hypnotizing.

God, you really were in love with that na'vi boy, weren't you? There's no going back now. He's holding your heart in his big, weird but cute, alien hands.

"I guess if we make it quick-"

"Shut up, Neteyam." You interrupted, chuckling playfully "I know you're dying to feel my lips on yours. Just help me take this mask off already." It was a bit hard for you to take the mask off while holding onto his shoulders. You knew he would not let you fall but still you wanted to still feel a bit of control and keep holding onto him too.

Neteyam got surprised by your boldness, since he did not see it coming, and he could only think about how freaking amazing it would feel to finally taste your lips, so, he did as you asked - leaving the mask hanging on your neck by the strap it had - and you rapidly held his big pretty, blue face, brought your lips to his and placed the most tender of kisses there, pressing your mouth against his mouth softly but with so much care, trying to let him feel how much you desired him too. His lips were velvety, warm and so incredibly good to kiss. God, you did not care that you were risking dying from lack of oxygen. You wanted that alien boy so badly.

Neteyam's still tense demeanor soon turned into a calmer one as he kissed you back. His hold on you got tighter as he felt your sweet soft lips on his. He felt so incredibly hungry for you. How could he not be? Your kiss was the most delicious thing he had ever felt in his whole life. You both shared saliva and wet each other's lips with each time your lips parted only slightly and came together again. Your soft skin made him want to squeeze you and never let you go again. Neteyam wanted to cuddle with you, wanted to wrap his tail around your small body in a possessive way to let you know you're his and that he would take care of you, hunt food to feed you and protect you from anything that could ever hurt you.

It was getting harder and harder for him not to lay you on the ground and press his body against your tiny one and make love to you right there but he knew that, thinking rationally, that was not a good idea at all, as the both of you were just outside a laboratory full of humans and you two could easily get caught and be in danger.

Even though Neteyam craved your body insanely, now even more than before, as he was finally feeling you close and tasting your lips, he was trying to take it as slow and gentle as he could because he wanted to respect your limits instead of scaring you away again. He understood you were human and your race acted in a very different way when it came to relationships. He still thought it to be a dumb way to lead things but it was you who was asking him to act differently and he loved you with his whole being. He could not bring himself to say "no" to that request. He knew it would be temporary and you soon would give into the na'vi that lives inside of you when it came to mating too. For you, Neteyam could wait. He knew things would soon change for the better. You were now in his arms, as the two of you kissed. You were no longer afraid of him. That was everything he needed at that moment. Things were already so much better.

Neteyam noticed you were having more and more trouble breathing, so he got worried and quickly put your oxygen mask back on.

You gasped for air and breathed in so much oxygen once you had your mask on that it might have been funny to watch, though Neteyam did not laugh. On the contrary, he seemed way too serious, way too worried about your safety. You wanted him to relax a bit.

"See how much I love you? I risked dying just to give you a kiss." You tried to speak normally but what came out of your mouth was a hoarse whisper instead, as your lungs were still in need of more air. A weak smile was adorning your lips as you struggled but still managed to let out a frail chuckle

"Don't say that, oeyä tawtute, please." Neteyam told you, trying to stay serious but still letting out a chuckle as well

"See the sacrifices I make for you, Neteyam?" You tried to seem mad at him at the beginning, only to start laughing shortly after, now that you finally had enough oxygen in your system to be able to let out an actual laugh, even if it still sounded weaker than your laughing would sound in another situation

He smiled big and teased you "Skxawng." (moron)

"But you love me." You closed your eyes while smiling, full of yourself

"I do." You opened your eyes to look at his face "More than you think, yawntu."

Your heartbeat accelerated intensely and you blushed. Neteyam found your blushed cheeks adorable. He looked at you so intensely, like he was holding the most precious thing in the world in his arms.

Neteyam knew he had just fallen even harder for you now that you both had kissed. He could not wait until he could be alone with you in a safe place and get to explore your body with his hands and kiss you all over. He almost got hard just thinking about that but he tried his hardest to whoosh that away. Neteyam was scared that feeling his bulge would be too much for you at that moment, specially since he knew he was much bigger than the human males you were used to. You might feel uncomfortable because of that difference and the sudden intimate feeling of his hard big cock against you and want to get out of his arms. Neteyam did not want that to happen. He needed you there a bit more, he was not ready to let you stand on your feet yet. And he was so afraid of you not wanting him close anymore, he was so afraid of perhaps ruining what you both had now. It was far too special for him. He could not let his sexual instincts ruin that. The time would come when you would let him in completely, when you would grant him permission to be inside of you and show you how much he craved your pussy, how much you messed with his head and awakened his most intense desires. Until then, he would wait and take baby steps. For you, he was capable of waiting for ages, though he hoped so strongly it would not take long.

༊⁀➷

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#neteyam x you #neteyam x human reader #neteyam x y/n #neteyam x reader #neteyam angst #neteyam sully #avatar neteyam #neteyam x female reader #neteyam x na'vi!reader #neteyam sully x human reader #neteyam sully x na’vi!reader #neteyam sully x y/n #neteyam sully x you #neteyam sully x reader #atwow neteyam #neteyam fanfiction #neteyam fluff #neteyam te suli tsyeyk'itan #neteyam suli #✎ victória writes ▢✧࿐

[twin-disaster-tutel-brainrot]

So I wanted to write a short post about Splinter's relationship with Donnie, but I realised I need to give it more context, so here we are. This is going to be an analysis on the similarities between Splinter and Donnie, and how those similarities affect their relationship.

Let's start with the easiest example, given to us in "Breaking purple":

(sorry for the bad quality gif)

Donnie, as we know, isn't good at understanding his own emotions and expressing them, and he's also not that good at understanding other's emotions. This video essay explains his low empathy really well.

Donnie doesn't know how to deal with emotions, so he does the next best thing - looks at adult example and copies it.

Splinter, while loving his sons and wanting the best for them, is objectively not the best father. He was thrown into fatherhood with no preparation after being imprisoned for over a decade and turning into a rat. He clearly has depression, has no friends, no support system, etc. And the only reference he has for parenting is his grandpa.

So similarity one, they're not good at dealing with emotions.

The second similarity is they're both bad at lying. And, more importantly, bad at noticing when they're being lied to:

(Arguably, you can say they were all too focused on trying to get away with their own lie, but I digress.)

Donnie needs to be said stuff directly. He's shown to not get sarcasm quite often:

And Splinter is shown multiple times to be quite unobservant:

Like, this gif is from when he grounds them, and he just accepts that those four flour sacks are his sons and moves on.

Which leads us to the third similarity, of them both missing obvious social cues. Donnie because of his social skills, and Splinter because he's unobservant.

There's more similarities, like their love of dancing for example, but the reason I gave those similarities is because I want to talk about their relationship.

Splinter, again, wasn't a very good father. He didn't know how to raise his children, but you can see he did make an effort. They all never hesitate to hug him, to call him Dad, and even when they find out Lou Jitsu is their biological father, they never doubt his role as their dad for a second. Which shows that even though he was neglectful, he did have a positive impact on their lives. They love him, and he loves them.

But, one line stood out to me the most, and that's this Donnie line:

Why? Because Splinter always looks extremely proud of his sons, and it sounds odd that he never told Donnie he's proud of him. And we know he desperately want to hear him say it:

So Splinter never told him he's proud of him, but he's also going to say it three times in this episode, only finishing the sentence once when Donnie isn't close enough to hear. Not only that, but the first instance is because Donnie made him a booster, which looks like a very minor thing, so he has no issue saying he's proud of them even because of the tiniest thing.

If so, then why is Donnie missing the verbal validation so much?

Splinter is not good with knowing when to express his feelings and how, and he's not really observant. Just like he never actually said he's proud of Donnie to Donnie's face in this episode, my guess he never said it to his face in the past too. Like, he tried, but he never actually finished the sentences when Donnie could hear, and he probably didn't even notice.

I'm also guessing he used acts to show how proud he is (for example, the fact he didn't hesitate to choose the Turtle Tank for the demolition derby shows how proud he is of Donnie's work), but because of Donnie's need to be told everything literally, he didn't feel the validation from him at all.

I feel like out of the four turtles, Donnie has the rockiest relationship with Splinter. He logs every interaction they have, doesn't immediately trust him when he offers to spend time together, gets mad at him the most often out of the four of them, etc. But you can also see he loves his dad, and he outright tells him this in "Turtle-dega Nights: The Ballad of Rat Man":

Anyways, I'm just really passionate about showing Splinter isn't just an abusive uncaring father, and showing that the turtles know this.

(Just learned there's an "alt text" option for images so I just removed the image id and turned it into alt text instead.)

#rise of the tmnt #rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt analysis #rise donnie #rise donatello #rise splinter #this is my first post on this blog and I overthought it way too much it took me two days to finish writing this #save rottmnt #save rise of the tmnt #I really like these turtles #remi rants #accesible #alt text #remi analysis #rottmnt gifs

[just-a-carrot]

i'm desperately battling post-launch depression by playing more dd2 (unsurprising; i've been battling every negative emotion lately with dd2 🤣) and i've had a breakthrough

genzou finally rode in the oxcart with iggy

ok i think i need to explain the mechanic. so there's a semi fast travel function in game where you can hire an oxcart to take you to a different town, and iggy will sit in it while his pawns walk alongside/out front to act as bodyguards (I say semi fast travel because 90% of the time it's interrupted mid-way by monsters attacking the cart LOL). however, i found a post online from someone surprised when their pawn actually sat next to them in the cart once! seems it can happen if they're at max affection, but even then, it's very rare and by chance(???) (they only saw it once in like 85 hours)

after reading this... i became determined to get genzou to ride in the cart next to iggy because i thought that would be so sweet 😌 little did i know how difficult that was going to be... hence:

the oxcart conundrum

strap in because this is gonna be a journey... (with gifs!!!)

i knew that genzou already had pretty high affection so i decided i would just need to attempt to ride the oxcart a lot (i normally don't ride it that often)

many times, i would go to ride the cart, and genzou would kinda stand at the back staring up at iggy as though he really really wanted to get up into the cart... but then as soon as the cart would start moving, he'd quickly run around to the front like normal

one time he came up into the cart and looked like he was going to sit down???? .....but then suddenly ran off and started twisting back and forth as though flustered and like he couldn't decide what he wanted to do LKASLDFAD (ok i'm just making up thoughts for game code now BUT STILL)

i felt like i had to be getting close. but still no matter what i did, he would never actually get up and stay and sit down. i would try different things like running around behind the cart to try to get genzou close before walking up into it. i would try sitting up and back down and getting on and off the cart. one time i literally even just spent like 30 minutes riding the oxcart back and forth between vernworth and checkpoint town again and again in hopes it could trigger but nothing. NOTHING. it was starting to feel like it must be impossible

then... at the most unexpected time... IT HAPPENED

i dismissed both my other pawns because i tend to do that when i'm done for the night, then thought i'd try for funsies to ride the oxcart again...

...this time, when iggy sat down, genzou stepped up in the cart?!?! ...but then just stood there?? even as the cart started moving??? GENZOU WTF SIT DOWN YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO???????

i waited for a bit and he still just stood there even as it entered oxcart mode until finally i got so frustrated i made iggy stand up, which seemed to make genzou all flustered...

genzou ended up going all the way back around to the front of the cart, so i thought it was a no-go and had given up in my mind for this try. so i sat iggy back down. as soon as iggy sat down, genzou weirdly ran back behind the cart again and started acting all weird, like getting up half into the cart...

then like ten seconds later... after it zoomed back out to the standard oxcart view...

he stepped up into the cart.......................

................AND SAT DOWN

i may or may not have made a very unholy squeaking gasp and clapped my hands over my mouth LKJDFALSKDF

IT LITERALLY TOOK ME SO LONG TO GET THIS TO HAPPEN

i know it's the silliest thing and not even that "momentous" but because i'd been trying and failing for so long it felt very big and my heart started beating really fast LOL 🤣

once i had calmed down i got a few more cute shots. once you go into oxcart mode the perspective gets locked and just transitions between a few different set POVs of the oxcart moving along all cinematically lol

it was the first time i didn't "Doze Off" to skip forward 🤣

ofc then however the oxcart eventually got attacked and destroyed by an ogre LKAJDLASD whoops. WHICH LEFT IGGY AND GENZOU STRANDED BY THEMSELVES??? IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT??? ONLY HALFWAY TO TOWN???

i was a bit scared because i didn't have my full party (and night is quite dangerous in this game) but fortunately my levels are high enough now that i was able to make it back ok. and actually it ended up being very sweet, it was the first time i'd had only iggy and genzou without any other pawns and genzou was like, so much more conscientious of iggy??? giving him curatives and sticking closer to him and high-fiving/elbow-bumping a lot more than usual?????? he even started saying things i'd never heard him say before. felt like a whole new experience 🤣🤣 so now i may try to do this more often at least in areas where i won't get completely decimated and see if i can capture some of the cute things he does...💕

ANYWAY WHY IS THIS POST SO LONG I'M SO SORRY THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I ENTER POST-LAUNCH SLUMP AND NEED GOOEY HAPPY FEELS TO SPUR MY HEART

#carrot plays dd2

[melonteee]

I don't know if you ever answered a question like that. But what are your honest thoughts about the Vinsmoke kids.

*rubs my hands together*

SO! Here's the thing. The way Sanji's brothers treated him was absolutely horrible, Sanji is not obligated to forgive them nor accept any apology (if they ever give one) regarding the torture they put him through. The same can be said for Reiju, while she did help him, she was still complicit in his beatings and only helped him behind closed doors. It was the little bit of affection Sanji got, but it was still a sense of "You're only worth helping so long as I don't get in trouble" which is heart breaking.

But here's the other thing, ALL the Vinsmoke kids were in an abusive household. Blaming Sanji's siblings for what they'd done is ignoring the rotten core of this household - which was Judge. The Vinsmoke kids listened to Judge and respected Judge, even felt a sense of fear for Judge. He's their father, after all, and he's the holder of all authority.

Judge not only did not stop these kids from beating up Sanji, but encouraged it - and it was a sense of recognition Ichiji, Niji and Yonji would've received from the act of abusing Sanji. This mindset can even be shown as they meet again as adults, with Ichiji explaining how the 'hierarchy works' because THIS is the environment Judge set. He pushed that Sanji was the runt of the litter, and that Sanji needed to be punished for the sole fact he was weaker.

The Vinsmoke siblings are, obviously, not good people. Reiju herself is also by no means a good person, and the tragedy with her is she knows this, but Judge's manipulation and abusive control has her too afraid to make a change. I feel pointing at the Vinsmoke kids and saying "OH THEY'RE JUST AWFUL! THE WORST EVER!" is looking past the fact that the Vinsmoke family is an extreme example of how an abusive household can form. JUDGE is the abuser here, HE is the monster targeting Sanji in every way, and his brothers are desperately looking for their father's approval.

I think the Vinsmoke kids are incredibly sad, I think by all means they would've left Sanji alone and possibly even cared for him had Judge not found Sanji worthless. Sanji failing his experiments also left Judge in a constant bad mood, making it so NONE of the kids ever got praised, so what else would these children do but pick on the one that's getting ALL of them punished and looked over? It's why I think it was extremely purposeful that Sanji rejected ONLY Judge, I think there's a reason Sanji didn't turn to his brothers and tell them to NEVER associate with him again - his speech was specifically targeted at Judge.

I honestly think, with who Sanji is and what he's gone through, he feels remorse for his siblings. He's terrified to turn into a monster like them, but does that not lend to the idea that he also feels a sense of anguish for what they were forced to be and turned into? It's not their fault, and Sanji knows that - hence why he has such a complicated relationship with them. He doesn't want them dead, but he hates them and doesn't want to forgive them, and is that not disgustingly realistic in terms of blood ties and blood family?? It made my gut drop at just how twisted this whole family was.

It's why I was so relieved that ONLY his siblings got a moment of redemption, that Niji grabbed Sanji to save him and bicker with him in a playful way like NORMAL BROTHERS WOULD! It's just so tragic to get a glimpse of what these kids could've been without Judge, and it's so tragic to think his brothers would've had SOME sense of fondness towards him had Judge not abused his position as their father and authority figure.

I feel a lot towards the Vinsmoke kids, because looking at everything surrounding them and what they are, they just make me incredibly depressed.

#ask

[usernamesarehard1]

I feel like we don't talk enough about Call's backstory. I mean, it was really tragic and set the stage for all of his emotional turmoil throughout the series.

He lives in a town where his dad is considered crazy/insane/etc, and so everyone assumes that Call is crazy too or that Alastair is causing some kind of harm to him.

Adults and children alike hate him solely because they don't understand him. He is literally physically and verbally attacked and beaten constantly by his classmates for being disabled and for being "weird", and the teachers do nothing about it. Like he actually canoncially experiences constant abuse

And then he gets home and he can't even really open up to his dad, the ONLY person in his life, because Alastair is so emotionally closed off due to his own traumas. And then he has to worry about Alastair instead of worrying about himself.

Like, Call was literally traumatized and thought that he was an awful person because everyone told him he was and physically punished him for his existence.

And I am in no way an expert on any psychological disorders but when I have read about the basics of certain ones, it would not surprise me if Call would be diagnosed with some of them irl. Like when I was researching "quiet bpd" at one point it sounded just like Call to me. He has no sense of person identity and tears himself down inside thinking he is a terrible person, while simultaneously going back and forth between putting his friends on a pedestal and distrusting them entirely. And we see in the books how he is very clingy to Aaron and Tamara, especially Aaron, and has to use them as a safety net for himself. And how he is just constantly terrified of abandonment, especially by Aaron and Tamara. And how he isolated himself so much and struggles to process or express his emotions.

And when I read a bit about ODD (oppositional defiance disorder) I sounded similar to Call. Like, Call does seem to have a distrust for and rejection of authority in the beginning of the series, which makes sense because the authority in his life (teachers, etc) only put him down for struggling. It isn't until he realizes Rufus has his best interests at heart (most of the time) that be begins to trust him, but he is still very wary of the other Masters and Assembly members. And from what I have read ODD tends to primarily affect children and becomes easier to move past as they get older so Call slowly becoming more trusting of authority over the course of the books makes sense.

(Sorry if I didn't explain those things well, it's very indepth in my brain but hard to put into words)

Obviously these two diagnoses are very broad spectrums but it would not surprise me if Call feel somewhere on them.

And then of course Call obviously has social anxiety and depression in the books. And it would not surprise me if he had some sort of PTSD going into the Magisterium based on his upbringing. And I have seen a few people say that his Evil Overlord List could be a sign of a specific type of OCD.

Like, Call was a KID. This was the only world he ever knew. In his most impressionable years he knew nothing but hate from people outside his family and very limited emotional support or connection inside his family.

Again, I'm no expert on any of these things. I just have basic info, but when I did learn immediately made me think of Call. Tbh I feel anxious about posting this because I'm terrified I have something wrong here or that i am misremembering something. I just wanted to share the connections my brain made.

I really wish the books had more about Call's friendship with Aaron and Tamara helping all of them to start heal through each other's comfort since none of them ever really had that emotional support prior to each other.

And tbh I'm kinda surprised Rufus didn't notice a lot of what was going on with Call. I really wish the books had delved into that more rather than having Rufus get mad at Call for his trauma responses.

Also, what happens when Call goes home during the summer (especially when Aaron wasn't there)? Was he attacked again? Was he verbally harassed again? Did he return to the Magisterium with bruises or anything? The books did say that he would often have injures from the attacks by his classmates (I remember them mentioning a black eye, split lip, and bandaged arm in one flashback).

I have just been thinking about it a lot recently.

#magisterium #callum hunt #character analysis

[bloodyhoon]

the love club [ch 5]

genre: high school fanfiction, love triangle (park sunghoon x female!reader x sim jake) angst, fluff.

warnings: mention of alcohol & drinking, kissing, reader is a little insecure. english is not my first language so there may be grammal or spelling errors.

words: 3.2K

masterlist.

The things that Jaeyun had told you the past few days still echoed in your mind as you looked at Yeji with your empty gaze, vaguely noticing how she laughed and talked to the people around her. It saddened you deeply to know that the girl had been left without her father and you understood that feeling perfectly having lost your mother relatively recently and you were still learning to live with that. Also, it made you happy that the Park brothers have clung to each other and will face the pain with smiles and trust in each other. You had developed too much affection for Yeji to know that she was struggling alone and having a hard time in her mind. Regarding Sunghoon, you wouldn't say that you had developed a fondness for him, but the thought of knowing that he was sad gave you a deep feeling of discomfort that you couldn't explain.

"Y/n."

A low voice came from the bench next to you, breaking you out of your thoughts. You were in class but you were too lost in your thoughts to understand what the teacher was explaining about Korean history, so you were sure you would have to ask to Yeji about the class since Riki was lying on his bench with his eyes closed showing that he was asleep.

"Yes?" You responded to that voice, your gaze meeting the big, cute eyes of Yang Jungwon next to you.

"I don't know if this is the right time, but" the boy remained silent as he bit the inside of his cheek nervously, then smiled at you "If you don't have something to do these days, would you like to go out with me sometime?"

Your heart raced with nerves and you twisted the pen in your hands unconsciously. You looked at Jungwon who was waiting for your every reaction and he continued smiling at you calmly when he noticed that he had made you uncomfortable with his sudden question.

"Don't answer me now, I know I caught you off guard" Jungwon scratched the back of his neck lightly "You can tell me later when you think about it, don't worry."

"Oh" you smiled at him in gratitude "Then we'll talk later, if that's okay" the boy nodded quickly, a bit of hope growing inside him.

"Y/n," the teacher's voice sounded warningly over the class, "Pay attention, this class is very important to you."

You bowed your head slightly embarrassed after apologizing and Jungwon gave you an apologetic smile, you buried your face in the book in front of you and didn't look back at him.

(***)

You turned your attention to the scenario that was unfolding in front of you. You had already gotten used to having lunch with Riki, Sunghoon and Jaeyun, and this time Yeji had decided to join you after having spent some time having lunch with another group, now wanting to accompany you, so now the girl was sitting in front of you with her arms crossed and next to her she had Sunghoon looking at her with a little distrust, his body slightly leaning over hers seeking her attention. As you had understood, Yeji was still angry with Sunghoon for the scene he had made days before at her house, so now Sunghoon was behind her trying to be forgiven and looking like a hurt puppy. You couldn't help but laugh at the situation, but at the same time feel a little sorry for the boy.

"They're always like this" Jaeyun spoke to you after seeing that you were a little worried "Sunghoon makes some mistake that embarrasses or hurts Yeji and then spends days begging for her forgiveness."

"And Yeji forgives him?" You were sad to see Sunghoon in that state so you hoped she would forgive him soon.

"Always," Riki answered next to you with his gaze on his phone while he stirred the food on his tray. "Yeji can't live without talking to Sunghoon, she ends up getting depressed and even both of them end up crying when they talk to each other again. Sunghoon is always the first to cry, sometimes it's very sensitive." Riki felt a shiver run through his body at the thought of his friend crying.

You felt your heart break and you shook your head as you looked away from the siblings, not wanting to look like a busybody. You really wanted them to make up, you couldn't imagine being separated from the person you lean on every day because of a silly argument.

"It's okay Sunghoon, I understand that you're sorry." Yeji placed both hands on the table in annoyance and rolled her eyes. "Can you give me my personal space, please?"

The boy had been glued to her, cutting her food, adding food to her plate, holding her hair gently and even trying to clean her mouth with every bite the black-haired girl took.

"It's just-" Sunghoon looked down, trying to pity his little sister more as he backed away a little in his place.

"Hey Y/n" you looked up from your lunch and met Yeji's knowing smile "What will you answer to Jungwon? He was very interested in your answer, you can't leave him waiting so long." As if they were connected, Jaeyun and Sunghoon jerked their heads up and both looked at you in surprise.

"What are you talking about?" Sunghoon asked.

"Who is Jungwon?" Jaeyun asked.

"He's our classmate," Riki answered, completely uninterested in her reactions. "He asked Y/n out this morning during class but she hasn't answered him yet. I think you should accept." You looked at Riki in disbelief, you swore he was asleep when Jungwon asked you out.

"I think the same" Yeji nodded.

"Don't accept" Sunghoon sounded so firm that everyone looked at him in surprise, but he didn't change his expression nor did he add anything more to defend his sudden opinion.

"Y/n" Jaeyun caught your attention "You can date whoever you want, of course. but you don't know him well, are you sure you'll be comfortable? Besides, you know what guys are like..."

"I know him" your innocent look made Jaeyun melt in his place, he smiled slightly at you, nodding to your words without daring to contradict you.

"No, you don't know him," Sunghoon answered, letting out a mocking laugh. "Wait before you go out with someone, the guys here are all the same."

"You know about that" Yeji sounded sarcastic, Sunghoon was about to respond in a bad way but he remembered that she was still angry with him, so he bit his lower lip and looked at you again to resume his argument.

"Yes, it may be that I know about that" Sunghoon feigned disinterest in his sister's words. "That's why I advise you not to go out with him."

You remained silent for a moment. You didn't know Jungwon, that was true, but you never believed that the boy had bad intentions towards you and much less did you believe that he was a bad person, but for some reason Sunghoon had made you doubt Jungwon's intentions. with you. On the other hand, you were still quite introverted so you weren't sure if you wanted to accept the date with the boy with the pretty eyes. The table remained completely silent for a few seconds until Jaeyun decided to break it by commenting enthusiastically.

"Do you guys remember my friend Heeseung?" the boy smiled at them as he spoke "He's having a party this weekend, you know? We should all go."

"Obviously I'll be there." Sunghoon nodded.

"Me too!" Yeji smiled excitedly.

"Not you," Sunghoon pushed her slightly, the girl gave him a murderous look and the black-haired boy remembered his anger. "I mean, not on your own, Ni-ki, you'll go too, right?"

"Of course," Riki's eyes sparkled as he listened to Sunghoon, who was struggling not to insult him when he saw him so happy with the idea of ​​spending time with his younger sister. Everyone looked at you, waiting for you to say something about it, but you just looked at them with confusion, not understanding what they wanted from you.

"What's wrong?"

"I guess you're going?" Jaeyun bit his lower lip waiting for the answer.

"Of course she'll go" Yeji was excited at the idea of ​​going to a party with you "We'll go together, right, Y/n?" You hesitated and felt nervous having everyone's attention on you, you looked to your side and Riki smiled softly at you, something in that smile told you to calm down and accept, that it was okay to get out of your comfort zone from time to time. You let out a soft sigh.

"Y/n" Sunghoon caught your attention, turning his body completely to face you. "If you go with us, you can be sure because we will not leave you alone all night, someone will always be by your side and no one will make you feel uncomfortable." For some reason those words reached the bottom of your heart, speeding up your heart rate and your hands shook slightly when the black-haired man gave you a smile.

"Then I guess I'll ask my father," you simply answered. Riki laughed and Yeji cheered, while Sunghoon and Jaeyun looked at you tenderly.

(***)

Your legs were shaking and you already felt your head throbbing from the bustle inside the house that you had not yet entered, you did not want to move from your place while Yeji and Riki basically pulled your arms to force you to enter that large house that was in front of you. Earlier, you had arrived at the Park's house and had found your friend getting ready, of course Yeji was dressed beautifully and her hair was perfectly combed and falling down her back while her pale face had a touch of color thanks to the pretty makeup she had applied. Yeji, for her part, was a little surprised to see you, she knew that you had never been to a party but you still had a very nice sense of aesthetics, you had chosen a perfect dress for the occasion and your long dark hair was slightly wavy giving it a little volume and making your face look even slimmer than it already was. Riki had also been surprised to see how pretty you two were, even though in her eyes you two were already pretty in your everyday life. Even so, his eyes could not take off from Yeji, the girl who had given the strongest crush of his life.

"Don't be nervous" Yeji commented, she held your hand, intertwining her fingers with yours while she smiled lovingly at you "My brother and Jaeyun are inside too, they're both waiting for us, you'll see that we'll all have a good time" she encouraged you confidently.

"I'm not nervous" you lied blatantly, your trembling voice gave you away. For some reason you were more nervous at the idea of ​​meeting Jaeyun and Sunghoon, in the back of your mind you were embarrassed that they saw you dressed that way since they always saw you in your school uniform, you felt a little ridiculous even though your friends had repeatedly told you how pretty you looked.

"When you go in there everyone will be watching for you" Riki said relaxed "You will catch everyone's attention because of how pretty you are" that comment was intended to give you confidence in yourself, but it only managed to make you more nervous.

When you entered the house, you paid attention to how big it was and mainly to the number of people there, but that's how the parties were, friends of friends always attended, coincidentally you didn't even know the guy Heeseung who owned the house. Luckily for you, no one around you looked at you, everyone was at their own party drinking and dancing with their respective groups of friends, so you relaxed slightly and the pressure began to leave your body.

"Welcome to your first high school party" Riki brushed your hair behind your ear gently and smiled at you. You smiled back and got a little excited at the idea, you had always dreamed of going to a party with your friends and finally you were living it.

(***)

The emotion lasted less than expected and you felt that the night was a complete failure. You crossed your arms a little annoyed and sank into your place in that soft chair that was away from the noise of the party in the internal patio of the house. As you looked around in search of Yeji and Riki who had disappeared from your field of vision after saying that they were going to get something to drink, you noticed that there was a couple at the other end of the courtyard talking between laughs, but ignoring them it was you alone in the rest of the place. On the other hand, you were grateful because you enjoyed the quiet. You noticed that you never met Sunghoon and Jaeyun so you felt a little betrayed by the words that Sunghoon had told you earlier in the school. But you also understood that not everyone would always be looking out for you, that they had their own friends and lives before you arrived, so you weren't directly angry with your friends, rather a little disappointed in the situation.

You took out your phone and the time read 1:47am. You responded positively to a message from your father who asked you how everything was going and you seriously thought about asking him to pick you up since you were starting to get sleepy. Suddenly the chair next to you sank slightly and a plastic cup was placed in front of your eyes, you looked up and Jaeyun's bright eyes were staring at you.

"Why are you here alone? I've been looking for you all over the place for about an hour," he reproached you softly, but smiling at you. You looked at him surreptitiously, a black leather jacket hugged his torso and revealed a white t-shirt underneath along with his blue jeans, his hair was slightly combed back and you couldn't help but feel your heart race at how attractive he looked.

"Will you take it? My arm is starting to get tired" you reacted and grabbed that plastic cup that he had offered you, you looked at it a little distrustful, not because of him, but because of what it contained.

"Is this alcohol?" The boy gave you a look that conveyed a what do you think? without stopping smiling at you. You held his gaze for a moment, noticing that his eyelids were a little drooping, his pupils were slightly dilated and his eyes were shining brightly. It was probably the effect of the alcohol on his blood.

"You don't have to drink it if you don't want to."

"It's not that I don't want to, it's just that I never drank alcohol" you admitted a little embarrassed, the boy denied while drinking from his own drink.

"Nothing to be ashamed of," he reassured you, waving his hand vaguely. "If you want to drink, I'm here to take care of you, don't worry." You smiled at him and nodded, then you drank from that plastic cup with a little more confidence. Jaeyun looked at you expectantly while analyzing each grimace on your face, he noticed how your eyes lit up in surprise and let out a laugh.

"How about?"

"Sweet," you answered and then took another drink, letting the sweet drink go down your throat, this one leaving a slight trace of burning but it was pleasant.

Jaeyun was smiling just by seeing you. When he left the house and saw you sitting on that couch, he thought it was a beautiful image, seeing you distracted with your gaze in the sky, your long hair swaying gently in the wind, your slightly red nose and your eyes. tearful from the cool of the autumn night. Jaeyun's heart involuntarily accelerated and heat ran through his body, not knowing if it was because of the alcohol he was consuming or because of your image. He looked at your profile a little more, not being able to help but think about how pretty you were. From the moment he saw you enter the cafeteria, a little hidden and embarrassed behind Riki, he thought that you were the prettiest girl he had ever seen, suddenly no girl around him was of his interest again.

"I'm glad you came, Y/n"Jaeyun spoke, you looked at him with a smile and shrugged, causing him to smile "And let me tell you that you look beautiful tonight... you are always beautiful."

"T-thank you," your nerves played against you, making you stutter, as you looked down at the plastic cup that was still in your hands. Jaeyun giggled and with his hand brushed away the hair that fell on your face. The music and noisy people now sounded distant and you both felt comfortable with the cool weather that embraced you.

"You have to be more confident with yourself" he told you "You are very beautiful and all eyes are always on you, you are the prettiest girl everywhere you go, you need to know that."

Your whole face was flushed and hot and you didn't know if it was because of the compliments or because of the alcohol that was starting to go to your head since you weren't used to drinking. You weren't used to compliments since you had always gone unnoticed, but since the first moment you entered your new school you had not stopped receiving them and you did not know how to act about it.

"Jaeyun" you didn't know what else to say to him as you looked up and your gaze met his, he giggled again and with both hands, he moved the hair away from your face, holding your cheeks gently, very sure of his movements.

"Y/n" hesitated for a few seconds searching for his words, really thinking if he should ask the next thing "Can I kiss you?"

You held your breath for a second and felt your heart beat rapidly. Jaeyun looked at you waiting for an answer, his gaze went up and down from your eyes to your lips while his thumbs caressed your cheeks tenderly and he continued removing the hair that danced across your face because of the soft night breeze. You didn't know if it was the alcohol that was starting to take effect on you or if the beautiful night that accompanied you was making you feel comfortable and confident, but you really wanted to be kissed by Jaeyun, so after a few seconds you just nodded slowly and that was enough for Jaeyun to come closer, his nose and yours touching lightly, slowly but surely he leaned in and kissed you softly, testing in that movement how comfortable you felt and when he felt you relax in his hands and get closer, he took it as a sign to deepen the kiss, while remaining gentle.

You felt your body go limp and melt into his touch, he held you with his hands on your cheeks, your head was spinning and your stomach was a bundle of nerves but you didn't want to separate and you let yourself be kissed again and again without caring that maybe tomorrow the reality would hit you and make you feel regretful. You held onto Jaeyun's forearms and he separated from you, hitting both foreheads, neither of you opened your eyes and your breathing was irregular. Jaeyun knew at that moment that once he kissed you, he would never want to stop, so he took a hand on your nape and this time with a little more intensity, he placed his lips on yours again, causing everything around you to disappear and it was just the two of you living the moment under the faint light of the moon.

reblogs and comments are appreciated!

tl: @minhypenreblogs @deobitifull @youresolivlie

#enhypen scenarios #enhypen imagines #enhypen #enhypen drabbles #park sunghoon #sunghoon imagines #jake scenarios #park sunghoon scenarios #sunghoon fanfiction #sunghoon drabbles #sim jake #jake imagines #jake drabbles #jake enhypen #sim jaeyun

[zoeykallus]

Crosshair My Beloved Enemy Vol.2 Chapter 3 – You Do Have A Heart

Fluff/Angst

_________

The mood is gloomy, the Marauder lost. Now it is time to gather and make new plans. However, some people just can't get rid of old habits.

_________

>Master List<

What Happened Before:

Volume 1

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

_________

Ko-Fi (If you feel like giving me some coffee)

__________

The Marauder itself is unsalvageable, the damage far too big. But with difficulty, you salvage the parts of the equipment that are still recoverable. You notice, of course, how carefully and skittishly Tech clears out the drawer under his bunk as you pull the wreckage out of the crevasse. His gaze flits over to you again and again, shy, almost a little hurried. You realize that he probably suspects that you must have seen the drawings he made of you when you were looking for the plasma cutter. In his arms, he holds a folder with his drawings, pressed against him like a treasure that no one must see. Crosshair, who sits down next to you and puts your necklace back on, the one with the crosshairs he gave you, makes you forget about Tech for the moment. "I found this in the refresher." "Oh," you say in surprise with a smile, glad the trinket isn't lost after all. Your fingertips touch the pendant for a moment, relieved. It's a beloved token of his affection for you that you would have sorely missed.

Crosshair kisses your temple, rises again, and helps Hunter pull up the crate of equipment they salvaged from the Marauder. There's not much left, and a strange, wistful mood hangs over all of you. The Marauder is indeed lost. Wrecker says somberly, "Even though I hate to leave our old home like this, we should probably get off this planet as soon as possible" "I agree with that," says Tech, still clutching his folder. Hunter nods with a sigh, and looks at Rex, "Do you think you can still get us on your shuttle with all this stuff?" "Of course," Rex says immediately without hesitation, "I could take you back to our base for now. There you can plan how to proceed."

The base is on an uninhabited moon. A small outpost built by Rex and a few other clones. On the flight here the atmosphere was tense, and it was quite uncomfortable, the small shuttle was crammed with all of you and the equipment you were able to rescue from the Marauder. Everyone seems a bit depressed, the Marauder is gone, the home that has accompanied you for years. This pill is bitter and hard to swallow. But Tech seems especially tense. As he helps unload Rex' shuttle, he still has his folder clutched to him like a treasure. You frown thoughtfully, worried about his behavior. Is he still that much in love with you? Distracted, you bump into Crosshair, who stops in front of you. He turns and looks at you with a raised eyebrow, "What's wrong with you? Can't get enough of me, can you?" "Sorry," you mumble, "Wasn't paying attention." Crosshair sighs, then gently kisses your lips, then your cheek and says, "That was a memorable wedding celebration by any measure"

You laugh softly and say, "Either way." As Crosshair sets about going through the equipment with Hunter to make a list of what could still be saved, you look around. You see Tech standing off to the side. He is rummaging around in his backpack, which he has stuffed full of things from the Marauder. Next to him on a box is his folder. You walk over to him. Tech hears your footsteps and immediately takes the folder back before turning to you. He still seems nervous and jittery. You say softly, quietly, "You're acting way too suspicious for wanting to hide the contents of that folder, Tech." His cheeks and ears turn red. "You saw the contents, didn't you?" he asks just as softly. "Inevitably." He sighs, nervously stepping from one foot to the other. "All the pictures?" he continues to ask.

You frown and say, "I guess so." He turns even redder. "I um... I can explain that." You shake your head. "You don't have to Tech, but make sure Crosshair doesn't see the pictures. I don't think he'll be that understanding." Tech's eyes wander erratically around the room, and he says nervously, "I really shouldn't have painted the nude pictures but-" "The what?" you interrupt him sharply. Tech's eyes twitch back to you, wide and startled. "You didn't see those at all? The little extra folder that was in the big one?" he asks, his voice suddenly higher. You run both hands over your face and groan, "Tech, what are you thinking?" "Do you really want to know?" "No!" After another sigh, you reach out and say, "You can keep the other pictures, but give me the naked ones, I want to dispose of them personally."

You look back over your shoulder, Crosshair and the others are out of earshot and still busy. Tech reluctantly hands you the folder hidden in the large folder. You open it carefully after another glance over your shoulder. The pictures are extremely detailed, your private parts, every little detail, perfectly drawn, almost like a photograph. You blink. The pictures are damn good, but also very inappropriate. "How can you even draw that from your memory like that?" you ask, frowning. Tech shrugs helplessly and says, "I have an eidetic memory, every detail of your body is burned into my mind, everything about you is burned in, every word, every smile, just everything." You look at him sadly and ask, "Is that why it's so hard for you to let me go?" Tech shrugs his shoulders uncertainly, "To some extent for sure. That being said, we inevitably see each other practically every day. There was never really any distance between us." He presses the other folder against him, as if he's afraid you're going to take that away from him, too. You don't really know what to say, after a while of silence you give him a small, sad smile and say, "I'm sorry".

"It's not your fault," he says quietly, watching you make your way to dispose of the pictures. He flinches, startled, when Echo addresses him. "Stop staring at her like that, you and Crosshair are just getting into it again". Tech sighs and says, "Sometimes I can't help it. I had her, she loved me. And I ruined it. That could have been our wedding party. I could be her husband now, but I ruined it out of cowardice." Echo says quietly but insistently, "Tech, what you're doing is unhealthy. You need to let her go already" "I would have made her very happy, I'm sure" Echo puts his hand on his shoulder and says, "I know, I'm sure she knows that too. But things are the way they are now. Stop torturing yourself. Go out sometime, maybe you'll meet someone."

You have joined Crosshair and help him unload. First he smiled at you, but suddenly his mood changes. You see his annoyed look, and you also see that he is looking in Tech's direction. "He's staring at you again," he growls. "Cross," you say softly, "let him be." "It's driving me crazy," he says defiantly. "He's just looking" "No," Crosshair insists, "He's pining for you." You sigh and lower the box you just picked up again. "Cross" "Hmm?" "Look at me" Crosshair growls softly, also setting his box down and looking at you. "Stop that" " Stop what?" You say softly, "With watching him and looking for flaws in his behavior" "He's pining for you," the Sniper repeats, growling.

"He's suffering," you say emphatically, "And he's your brother. He's never tried to hit on me or touch me in all this time. Just let him look, it's not hurting anyone." Crosshair's expression turns melancholy. "Yeah, he's my brother.... And I don't want him to suffer." "So that actually annoys you, that he's suffering?" you ask, surprised. "Of course" You smile at him. "You do have a heart" you say gently teasingly. "You married me, girl, you should know that". You laugh softly and say, "I'm just teasing you a little, honey". You kiss his chin and grab your next crate as he says, "I might have a shuttle for us" "You already have a replacement for the Marauder now?" "No," he says, shaking his head, "I mean for you and me. We would reconnect the shuttle to my brothers', like your old shuttle, like before, once they got a new one" You smile and say, "That sounds great, finally some privacy again would be awesome" "I thought so too" You pause and put the box back down. "But maybe we shouldn't travel with your brothers for a while. Could you maybe imagine that?" Crosshair pauses and looks at you.

"Why?" "Since Tech and I were together, we still saw each other every day. Maybe some distance will help him. I don't mean forever, just for a while." Crosshair sighs and says, "Sounds reasonable, actually. Can we revisit the topic when we have both shuttles?" "Of course."

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#star wars #the bad batch #clone force 99 #sw tbb #tech #tbb tech #crosshair #tbb #bad batch tech #tbb crosshair #clone trooper crosshair #bad batch crosshair #crosshair bad batch #crosshair tbb #crosshair the bad batch #crosshair x reader #crosshair x you #tbb crosshair x reader #the bad batch crosshair #bad batch #bad batch x reader #star wars bad batch #sw the bad batch #star wars tbb

[fushiglow]

Is it true that Suguru Geto contracted depression?

While I don't think it explains everything, I absolutely think it's fair to say that Getō was depressed in the wake of the Star Plasma Vessel mission. Aside from his physical symptoms, Getō is shown to ruminate over past events, immersing himself in negative thoughts.

It's clear that the events of the Star Plasma Vessel mission were extremely traumatic for Getō and it's unsurprising that a teenager would develop mental health struggles after what he experienced — especially without support. Of course, as a sorcerer, Getō was facing traumatic events on a daily basis and expected to manage it alone.

In one of my favourite pieces of Jujutsu Kaisen media, The Resurrection Puppet, Gojō discusses this very issue with Nanami:

"Ultimately, handling curses is about handling negative human emotions. It involves a lot of depressing work. [...] Even if you get used to this line of work, it doesn't feel good. Makes me wanna get drunk. [...] You know how to shut stuff out when necessary, but you're not totally immune to it. Adults have ways of relieving the friction that creates. Like alcohol, the wonder drug." [...] The world was an unfair place. Human ill will bred curses. All people, not just sorcerers, were capable of steeping themselves in bitterness, giving up, and drowning in lost hopes. Nanami knew that. And Gojō knew that Nanami was a man with such a past. "We have ways of removing the poison that has circulated to our hearts," Gojō said. "The young don't have that skill. They're too sensitive. At least once, the poison will break their hearts." "I suppose it's the adults' job to handle the poison that affects the young. As a teacher, you understand that, right?" "Yes, I do. That's why I came to talk to you."

It's hard to read this passage from the light novel without assuming that Gojō and Nanami are indirectly discussing Getō — especially considering the fact that Gojō is asking Nanami to take care of another teenager who swallows down "curses" in the form of Sukuna's fingers, holding all that negativity at the core of their being.

Because of his technique, Getō swallows down negative emotions in the form of curses day in day out, even describing their unbearable taste. That's why I've always wondered if it's possible that Getō was uniquely affected by the "poison" Gojō describes, exactly the same as he worries Itadori is particularly vulnerable to it.

That's why he approaches Nanami specifically, saying, "I need someone who understands the suffering people go through. Someone like you." Importantly, Gojō only asks Nanami to look out for Itadori because he's concerned he won't be able to "give him the necessary spiritual guidance" himself due to his busy schedule. I think it's very telling that he seeks the support of someone who also saw Getō's spiral firsthand.

According to Gege Akutami, Nanami "couldn't bring himself to blame" Getō after he left. We know that he was deeply affected by Haibara's death and I often wonder if Nanami would have fallen to a darker path if he hadn't seen what that looked like through Getō's example. Similarly, it was only because of Getō's word that Gojō didn't murder an entire auditorium of non-sorcerers after Riko's death. Though he didn't know it at the time, Getō preserved Gojō's bright future at the expense of his own in that moment.

Gojō and Nanami's conversation in The Resurrection Puppet is bittersweet (something the characters play on by ordering sugary cocktails to balance out the bitter subject matter) because they weren't qualified to help Getō when he was struggling, simply because they were teenagers facing the exact same trauma. It shouldn't have been their responsibility in the first place — a lesson they've learned as adults, but only through losing their counterparts to their line of work as teenagers.

So, yes. I think Getō was depressed and I think it's an unfortunately common condition among sorcerers — it's no coincidence that so many of them are heavy drinkers!

Like I said, I don't think depression explains all of Getō's behaviour, especially post-defection. I wouldn't want to attempt to "diagnose" him after that point, but it's my view that Getō lost his grip on reality to some degree. I don't think anyone could carry out his actions without some level of mental disconnect from them. Akutami says that Getō has been telling himself he hates non-sorcerers since school and I think he succeeded in convincing himself. Still, I wonder why it was necessary to convince himself in the first place...

That's just speculation though. Whatever the reason, Getō's story is a deeply sad one that we can all learn from in the real world. I think we should be able to condemn the path that someone chooses while recognising the suffering that led them to it. If we don't learn to prevent the latter, we'll never be able to prevent the former — and that's one of my most firmly held beliefs.

By the way, it's definitely worth listening to the audio drama of The Resurrection Doll if you haven't already heard it! Thank you for the question and apologies for taking so long to answer! 🖤

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk #呪術廻戦 #jjk meta #jjk analysis #geto suguru #gojo satoru #nanami kento #ask fushiglow

[brightgnosis]

My Husband asked me how I wanted to celebrate my birthday (in ~6 days) last night and I didn't have an answer; I told him "I feel like I'm not here anymore". He had no idea what I meant by that.

I tired to explain and all I could really come up with is that I feel like I can't want anything anymore. Like I have no right to want anything; I'm just kind of a side note here anymore. I don't feel like I really exist or have permission to do anything. Which is stupid, because none of them have actually made me feel that way in any capacity. But it doesn't change the fact that it's how I feel like I'm moving through life now, since everything this year.

I just kind of ... Exist. I'm not really here in Spirit. I'm just here in physicality. And that's all; I'm a ghost.

And then on the other hand, I do still want things. But everything I want just seems to insurmountably incompatible with everything. Because what I want is something like some damned good Sushi and a walk around a big Botanical Garden. But even though I can have Sushi, I still can't walk for more than 10 to 20 minutes without being in severe pain- and then I have to nap immediately afterwards for like 4 to 6 hours, and it takes almost a week to recover again. And that's not factoring in how travel to one of the bigger Botanical Gardens- all of which are an hour away minimum- would affect me.

I can't hike. I can barely garden anymore. I can't stand how boring the Master Gardeners are. The Garden Club I joined is full of hypocritical and racist old ladies. I can't get my hands to stop hurting or shaking enough to do art or embroidery anymore, even if I could get my brain to let me again. I have no friends. I spend all day every day alone- and when I'm not alone the people around me are always off in their own little worlds so I might as well still be alone. I have no community. My best friend might as well not exist anymore, either, because we basically haven't spoken in years and she never makes time for me anymore even when she says she will. My other best friend is in the hospital and may never come out of it. I haven't had conversion class in like 2 months- and I can't attend the vast majority of events at my converting Synagogue anyways.

I am nothing, and nowhere, and no one, and it's all just ... A lot. It's so much ... And I'm tired of everything always being so much. And I thought I was doing better, but now this stupid question's just made me depressed and has me crying like a child all over again, and I hate it so much. I just want to drown or something and be done with it all finally. What's the point. What is the point of it all?

Happy 34th birthday to me and this stupid ass body.

#Personal #2024 #Birthday Announcement #Trigger Warning

[deadpool15]

My girl

If I had to explain the context of my relationship, it would be complicated. Well, at least to me, it is. You see, when me and my girl and that isn't even my girl met, I was in college. I became an exchange student, and my home school does have this program where they pick a selection of students to go to different countries. I decided to throw my name in the bin to see how well my luck was.

Turns out my luck was pretty fucking good. I was able to get me a one-way ticket to Seoul National University for exactly a year. It was amazing. I got to experience so many new things, and the culture was like a change in scenery for me. But all good things must come to an end, and I started to fall behind on rent. I know what you're thinking, don't you live in a dorm? Well no I didn't, dorms are shit and I wasn't gonna take that chance I managed to find a nice job until some young fucking hideous looking bitch made a complaint about me to my boss. I'm 90% she was just being fucking racist because she kept trying to touch my hair like I was some exotic animal and caught a whole fucking attitude when I didn't allow her too. "Fucking bitch."

So, shit really hit the fan from that point. I was out of money, struggling to find a job, and my grades were starting to look like how I felt. Until I met Sayaka, a much older woman. She was approximately 38 years old at the time, while I was 20. She gave off this vibe of a confident, mature woman and I fucking loved it. She smooth talked me so fast some must say it wasn't fucking pathetic. Had a girl sitting her thinking about her every day and twirling my hair. You would think we were seeing each other after a while or at least that's what I thought.

Sayaka made it clear what she was looking for, and it wasn't a girlfriend. Sugarbaby, I believe, was the correct term. She wanted someone to spoil with gifts and affection but didn't want a relationship. Now, at first I was ok with that, I mean don't judge me I needed the money and she was hot so I was ok with it. Well, until I wasn't. People would openly flirt with her, and as much as she said she was mine, I started to realize how much she wasn't. I mean, we weren't together. She was literally paying me to "have fun" and "being pretty," and I kinda felt used.

Of course, I couldn't be mad at her, I knew what I was getting myself into, but I still had feelings. So, instead of bringing it up to her, I took the last "paycheck," she gave me, and ghosted her. I know what you're thinking, very mature of you, Stella. But the sad truth was I would rather act like she didn't exist than have her tell me she didn't like me at all. She did try to call at first, but then it all stopped I assumed she got tired of chasing after a immature fucking child. I mean, I could understand that, though as much as I understood her, a part of me wanted her to chase me. Make me feel wanted for once.

After a few months with no Sayaka, I fell into a deep state of depression. My best friend, Aubrey, had been trying to get me out of my house for a long time. But I wouldn't listen. Eventually, she randomly showed up to Korea, claiming she was entering some form of competition, meaning she would be here to help me and get my mind off of Sayaka. After a while, I felt better, I realized I had to learn how to love myself and that I was worth more than being someone's little sugarbaby. I mean, I was girlfriend material, and if she couldn't see that, then screw her. I would love to do that. Ok, maybe I wasn't entirely over her, but baby steps. I did want her back, but it was obvious she didn't feel the same, so I started to get myself back out there.

Audrey said it would be good for me. I took her advice and went on several dates, none of which worked out until I met this guy Jake. He was an exchange student from Hong Kong, he was 2 years younger than me though. But besides that, he was great. As great as it gets. The perfect gentleman. I just even kinda started to actually like him. Everything finally felt as if it had fallen into place in my life. I felt good for the first time in a long time. I was sitting at home scrolling through tiktok. I watched a video of some dude doing a mukbang. "Omg, why is this dude always eating like that. Like, do you viewer's wants to see you eat and enjoy the food or die trying. There is no way a mouth is supposed to open like that. Bro is literally not human." I was sitting there watching in disgust when my phone started ringing. Scaring the absolute shit out of me.

"Fuck," I looked at the caller ID and saw Audrey name pop up. That bitch is always scaring me. I pressed the answer and heard her yelling, more specifically Audrey's yelling in the background. "Audrey, ehat have we talked about with the yelling. I'm already hard of hearing thanks to you. Please." She ended hung up and immediately called me back on ft. I answered, "What have I said about hanging up on me like I'm one of you hoes?" I said while laughing. She started laughing again. "Hola, my beautiful bestie friend, ehat are you doing?"Minding my business what do need, Audrey?" She stared at me smiling mischievously. "So since you my bestie, I thought it would be amazing of you to like make us some pepper steak and rice."

"Wow, you called me, and the thing you wanted to talk about was me cooking. How fake of you, Ms. Lane." She looked at me with pleading eyes. "I wanna show the girls one of my best friends many qualities." I tried to glare at her, but a smile slowly started to creep up on my face. She had won me over, "Fine, I will cook your favorite meal for you. Would you like me to play delivery boy as well for you?" I stated jokingly until I saw the look on her was knowing she, in fact, did expect me to deliver the meal. "The food will be there, no get off my phone, you bitch." "Omg, I love you Stella so much." I smiled and hung up and got to cooking, it took me approximately an 1 to finish the dish. Audrey loves it ever since we were little kids. I make plates for everyone and start packing up the to-go trays. Piling all the food in my SUV, then making sure it is secure. I start to drive to the place.

Now that I think about it Audrey hasn't told me where this place is. Or anything about the show. I just assumed she didn't want to disclose too much information. But it's still weird, I mean we usually tell each other everything no matter what. A bit odd.

Stellabella🥰- Hey, babe, where exactly is the name of the competition.

Audreybunny🤡- Oo, it's called Street Women Fighter 2.

Stellabella🥰- Crazy how I had to actually ask you this stuff when you usually tell me. Isn't it?

Audreybunny🤡- Oo really..... what makes you say that?

Stellabella🥰- Why so secretive ma'am?

Audreybunny- It's just my first time in a competition like this, so I was still a bit shocked. That's all. It's weird at first. It's like crazy down here. It's wild.

Stellabella🥰- You're lying to me. You used the word it's like 3 to 4 times but it's ok I'll see when I get there send me the address.

I stared at my phone, confused. Audrey never kept secrets. Why did she care about this show so much? I guess I will actually just have to wait and find out. I use the GPS in my car. After about 49 minutes, I made it there. "I don't think I ever even watched this show, let alone heard of it. She is right. This is weird." I step outside of the car, grabbing the food carefully. "Let's stop overhinking. She is right. This is a new thing for her. I'm proud of her. My bestie is on TV shows now." I smiled softly at the thought and started walking towards the entrance.

I speak to the man at the front desk, letting him know that Jam Republic, as she texted me prior, is waiting on my arrival. He smiled at me and nodded his head down the hall, gesturing me to follow his lead. I bow towards his out of respect and a force of habit now and follow him down to the elevator. After about 5 floors go by, he shows me to a colorful hallway. "I believe you have it from here. The sign says Jam Republic on the door. It big and bright pink you can't miss it. Have a nice day, ma'am." He tells me before bowing and walking off back towards the elevator. I walk further down the hall, reading the names on the doors. "BEBE... 1MILLION... WOLF'LO... TSUBAKILL. Why does that one sound weirdly familiar. I mean, it could just be like a weirdly unique name that I find interesting."

I stare at the door for a while, completely forgetting where I am. Until a hand pulls me, I scream slightly and turn around to see Audrey smiling. "What did you get lost or something?" She says, genuinely afraid she put me through stress. "No, sorry, I was just admiring the names. Hey, have you ever heard of this one?" I ask, staring at her questionable. She looks at the names before shaking her head. "If I'm being honest, the majority of the groups are korean, so I haven't heard of anyone here, you know. Come on, everyone is waiting." Audrey scolds my hand, bouncing down the halls excited.

We walk into the door, and I greet everyone. The vibe is nice, and everyone is friendly. Which I am very thankful for, I meaning usually have a difficult time having conversations with new people. Or just meeting new people in general. I hand everyone a plate. They are sitting there thanking me before digging in. I hear Kristen on the sidelines gushing over the meal and applauding me for my "master cooking skills," or so she says. I blush slightly, thank God for my dark skin. I suddenly get the urge to pee, I grab Audrey's hand without speaking and make my way to the door. She whines because I take her away from her precious meal, but eventually get the hint and help me find the bathroom. She takes me there, letting me inside while saying she will be in the room. And if anything happens, call her. I allow her to leave, not wanting her meal to get cold, then make my way inside the stall.

I was in the process of finishing when I went to flush the toilet and hear the door sqeak open. I walk out thinking it's Audrey. "Babe, I thought you wanted to finish the meal. I literally slaved over the stove to cook. Not to mention me violating traffic laws to get it here." I stated sarcastically before not hearing her response. I continue to wash my hands before I turn around to say something else to her. Only to realize it wasn't her at all. "Sayaka?" She stares me up and down before getting close to me.

The space between us is so small that it makes me nervous. "Glad to see that I've only been gone for what, 3 months, and you have a new replacement right at the ready. Making meals for her. Aren't you just the perfect little girlfriend?" I gulp looking at her, trying to create a bit of personal space between us, and it seems she didn't like that. "You're not running away from me again. What exactly does Audrey the little fairy have that I don't, huh? Stella, you know I don't like repeating myself." I look down trying to avoid eye contact. It feels like I'm frozen, I wanted to see her so bad, but I forget the massive effect she had on me. Seems she didn't, though. "Me and Audrey aren't together. She has a boyfriend. And so do I."

I try to say that last bit with confidence, but it seems like at the moment that shit hasn't gone out the window. My voice cracks. She smiles at me, but I can tell I won't achieve anything good with rhat smile. "That's cute. My little baby got herself a boyfriend. Call him." I look at her confused, why the fuck would she want me to call the guy she is jealous of. More importantly, why is she jealous of Jake. " I don't owe you anything. We weren't in a relationship, and you made those guidelines very clear at the beginning. So you have no reason to be mad at me." I try to hide the tears falling out of my eyes by looking away until she grabs my chin.

She wiped my tears while looking at me. "Baby, I gave your money because you don't need to struggle, ok? I'm your support system, whether it's cuddling you when you're sad or gifting you shit when you're happy. In the beginning, I didn't want a relationship, I just wanted you. Labels scared me, but what scared me more was losing you. I care about you." I stared at her shockingly while she gave her confession. I didn't expect that to happen. Out of all the outcomes I planned in my head. "I care about you too, and I want to be with you. She kissed my forehead while smiling lovely at me. "My little girlfriend then." As she said that, it made me the happiest girl in the world. Experiencing true love is wild.

"Now, akachan, what do you say we give that ex-boyfriend a call and make it official." She says while leaving open-mouthed kisses down my neck, causing me to moan as she grabs my hips, pulling me flush against her body. I start to moan until she speaks up. "No, no baby, say it for the phone call. Gotta show him who you belong to, don't we?"

#street woman fighter 2 #swf2 #street woman fighter x reader #Sayaka

[queer-muslim-culture-is]

does anyone relate to me as a queer muslim?

Just wanted to put a disclaimer that I personally am not acting on it but I did find a way to reconcile my queer identity and religion <3

I grew up mostly thinking I was straight but in my teens I didn't label with heterosexuality anymore. I was never really passionate about queer activism but I recall being uncomfortable with homophobia at masjid and gatherings but I never thought about it too much until may 2022

That is May 27 2022 to be specific, the stranger things release date. Im not going off topic lol I promise. So basically I converted from being a mileven shipper to a byler shipper after watching. This was when my queer religious crisis started. I loved Mike and Wills relationship and I thought it was so beautiful from the way they treat each other. I was reading fanfics, watching edits, reading analysis 24/7. How could it be wrong

I knew that the logic with ''Sinful'' actions is that even though you desire benefits coming from it, and you intend good things to come out of it, the reason why its a sin is because unseen harmful effects come out of it even though that's not what we intend. ''But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah Knows, while you know not.'' I could deal with the fact that queer actions were forbidden cause that meant you don't hate the sinner or the ''Sin'' but only the fact that your action has ''harmful unseen/unknown affect'' that you just have to trust in God that its there and that he would only make harmful things forbidden. For example: Promiscuity is a sinful behavior in islam, and God considers it disgusting because it is harmful, but in Jannah all the harmful effects of your desires are removed, this explains why alcohol and hoor al ayn, music etc exist in Jannah. So can I act on my queer desires in Jannah? I made the horrible mistake of going to cishet people with this question and obviously they said NO. I was so fucking pissed and mad and I felt guilty for being mad because it felt like I was questioning Allah. But mostly I was hurt because God is not who I thought he was and I felt ignored, betrayed, neglected, and I took the queerphobia as my image of God. It just made me even more pissed off when people said '' you will get something better'' why can't I get what i asked for and be treated normally like everyone else with their forbidden desires? After suffering an entire lifetime of homophobia and abstinence, God wants to brush this issue under the rug and ignore it even though it becomes a part of who a person is, where is the justice?? At that point I felt like if I couldn't get queer liberation in the next life for myself I would want it for someone else and I would fight for it. I had mercy in my heart for queer people. So this does not make sense cuz GOD IS THE MOST MERCIFUL, more merciful that any lgbtq+ activist on this earth, so God surely must out mercy me

I went through a religious crisis period for 6 months just constantly soaking up all the queerphobic media online from muslims. I felt sick reading all of it and I felt my heart drop. Why do muslims deny that queerness is not a choice. Why do these scholars have rights to speak on issues they've never experienced. How can a person tell another person how they feel. How can you deny centuries of queer people and why do some muslims make fun of queer people, hate us, think were disgusting etc. I really never felt any righteousness or respect from these people yet they say ''respect not support'' tf? I started getting depressed, failing in school because I took these people and modeled my image of Allah based on them. Why wont I get what I want in this life or the next? So my love was considered ''disgusting'' for no reason.

Then months later, everything changed. I started talking to God everyday and treated him like my therapist and I vented out all the pain of queerphobia. I did scientific research on queerness and found out that is generally innate/unchangeable and internalized homophobia turned into anger towards queerphobic people. I was just crying out to Allah wishing that Queer Love could be honored and respected one day and that slowly, naturally it turned into me making dua to Allah that queer people could act on it in Jannah. I for some reason thought it would be more acceptable to ask for queer relations without the sexual aspect lmfao my puritarian era. So anyways I slowly started making Dua to Allah often and asked all the time for queer liberation in the next life and for people I knew in real life, online, my moots, queer muslims who passed away etc. I turned the anger of queerphobia into calling out to Allah to ask for liberation for the queer ummah. I eventually also asked for the sexual aspects as well lmfao. I remember one day I prayed tahajjud and asked Allah for queer people to be with their lovers in the next life and to be themselves (gender identity) and I asked for a sign. I even talked to Allah about my love for byler lmfao dont judge me ok I was crying my ass off at the van scene where Will confessed to Mike. So anyways the ''Sign'' as I saw one day I was cleaning my room and read a book that said that Allah would never guide a person to make a dua if he didn't want to answer it. I was shook and long story short I learned that God is what you make of him and you must trust God when you make dua to him. Another Sign I saw was that I was a video literally explaining this concept in a tik tok another time after I made tahajjud and asked for the same thing again.

My perception of God has fundamentally changed and I am so grateful. Byler endgame 2024 <3

im just gonna quickly note that this blog *does* support acting on your queer attraction and i, as the mod, have multiple partners. i choose to interpret the stories that supposedly ban queerness otherwise (some of these interpretations are or will be shared in #resources) and that any harm that comes from it can either be mitigated (safe sex practices) or is the result of bigotry

but thank you for sharing your experience anon. genuinely happy that you managed to reconcile both with yourself and Allah :]

and hey, i get what you mean abt the fanfiction part skdfjh ! some of my earliest experiences w queerness were reading queer fics on ao3 and feeling,,, something. something i couldnt quite identify till years later. fics exposed me to queer romance, helped me come to terms with my allosexuality, and even helped me experiment with my gender in a way. i owe a lot to fic writers

#queer muslim experiences #queer muslim #queer #muslim #tw homophobia #homophobia #tw internalized homophobia #internalized homophobia #not queer muslim culture

[kai-atlantis]

CW: pedo mention, suicide

I have a request. And this may get me blocked or hated even more by the AF community:

Can we stop the aminosity towards A/H shippers? Anti culture is celebrated in our fandom now, and like, cool if you don't ship anyone, but many of you on this platform find a way to literally bully or harass fans who are openly A/H. I also used to get endless inboxes of anon hate and harassment, even so far as telling me to 'KYS', or calling me a pedophile.

Let's make something very fucking clear: Redirect your issues to Colfer instead, because he wrote the 6th book. HE wrote the kiss. HE wrote them having feelings for eachother. Yes, as kids, a lot of us attached to this. Maybe it's from shared trauma, maybe it's a comfort place. Whatever someone's reason is for shipping, they DON'T need to explain themselves, or be made guilty for their preferences! Instead of harassing A/H shippers as if we spun the oldest celebrated ship from midair, how about you complain about damn Colfer?! He's not a poor innocent Irishman that had nothing to do with it. Give me a break.

Now, your hate and despise of the ship DOES affect other people when you go into the Hartemis tag and write on shippers' posts, literally heckling and harassing them. You know who you all are. I haven't checked it recently, but around 7 months ago, it was filled with HATE. HATE. AND HATE. I saw one very celebrated user telling Hartemis shippers to kill themselves. Honestly. If you look folks, it's there. Fuck that. If being an anti means you support hate and harassment, get the fuck off my tumblr lol.

I have had so many, SO many people come to me in messages to discuss A/H. I have had younger fans, literal kids, message me with art and explain they didn't feel safe posting it to tumblr because of the antis and hatred of A/H. ARE. YOU. KIDDING. ME. Do you know how angry this makes me? This is disgusting behavior, that children can't post their work without an anti yelling at them they're supporting pedophilia.

Which do you think is more harmful?! Supporting A/H? Or isolating young teens or kids and making their work and art feel worthless and unwanted?

Btw: none of the A/H shippers call our ship Hartemis. That's a you guys thing, lol. We like A/H. They don't need a ship name so it's easier to mock.

In short, leave people alone. Stop intermingling your personal issues into other's lives. Don't like Hartemis? Leave the fandom then! You tell us to gtfo, so you can as well! 😬 I really dont have anything inspirational or nice to say here. I'm disappointed that such a tiny fandom has been literally split apart in half, and half of them are not allowed to interact with the other.

We're so tiny, guys. We literally don't have to isolate each other. I was so depressed when I first joined tumblr and got so much hate, and to know there are kids who are messaging me, revealing they're getting hate? That they're scared to post? To rant and rave and ramble like the rest of us? It's disappointing. It really is.

CW: pedo mention, suicide

#don't let your personal feelings get in the way and really look at the issue im talking about #my DMs shouldnt be a safe space #OUR FOWLDOM should be a safe space #thats all. #fowldom #hartemis #hate that name but whatever we need the tag #artemis fowl

[cat3ch1sm]

Yeeey! what would my last request be like in Jujutsu Kaisen? only with the cute and beautiful Itadori, Sukuna and Gojo! S/O having communication problems and having their diaries read by them, and reaction to seeing this! ( S/O with Komi san personality with Itadori, Sukuna and Gojo? 🤔😳 )

🍵| ofc ofc<33 i really appreciate ur patience:DD also i have yet to finish the anime do forgive me if i don't characterize these guys right!!! im going off of what i have RN, im about halfway finished with the anime<333

pov: reader s/o is very shy and hardly talks at all, what happens when their partner finds their diary?

itadori yuuji

༊* don't get me wrong, itadori is literally in love with you more than anyone else probably ever will be. but with his personality, sometimes he really wishes you would talk!!! more!!! often!!!

༊* so he goes to one of his friends, say nobara and megumi, and he's like "why do you think y/n doesn't talk??" and nobara's like "idfk bruh but she probably has somewhere else to 'express herself.' like a diary or smth"

༊* "so does that mean fushiguro has a diary too??" *deadpan voice from across the room* "no."

༊* now that itadori has this idea in his head, he goes off to look for one. and after searching in these dumbass places like the toaster or some shit he finally finds it in an obvious-ish place like under your bed

༊* "wow! y/n has a diary! i didn't know that.. wait, should i be reading this? probably not..." *looks guilty for two seconds* *opens the diary*

༊* when he starts to read it, he's surprised by the eloquence of your writing- tbh it makes his brain hurt. but itadori keeps reading anyway

༊* he is also surprised because you seem to feel a lot despite not conveying any of it whatsoever. he reads how you worry when he goes out on missions, he reads how at peace you feel whenever you're with him, he reads how you get angry when sukuna threatens to harm itadori, he sees how you wish you could show him more affection than you are able to, and he reads about how you wish you were able to be real friends with his friends. he even gets to know about how you felt about him even before you started dating, and how shattered you were when you thought he had died

༊* also, it makes itadori so happy when he reads the way you write about him throughout your relationship. all this time he had never been totally sure how you felt about him, but now he's relieved and absolutely thrilled to know that you love him as much as he does you. he only wishes you had shared all of this with him personally

satoru gojo

༊* okay. let's start with the fact that this man has the attention span of a celery stick

༊* you probably left the house for ten to twenty minutes to run and errand or two. and knowing that satoru is a literal child, you put something interesting on TV for him to watch so he doesn't blow the place up

༊* but yeah, no, that didn't work. 0.0005 seconds after the door locks behind you, he's all over the place. and of course he ends up in your room, where he unashamedly snoops through your things until he comes across a little journal

༊* "what's this? a diary???" *opens it up immediately and starts skimming through pages*

༊* sooner or later though, satoru is forced to actually start really reading when he doesn't find what he expected. he'd kind of been counting on some long, depressing sob story that would maybe explain why you were the way you were or something sappy like that. but a lot of your experiences don't seem so different from his- you just take them more slowly. your way of viewing things is a lot less quick than satoru's- while he kind of blasts through everything with a smile on his face and cracking stupid jokes, you stop to observe everything, and he can see this clearly in your writing.

༊* you need a medal fr- you managed to keep your mental boyfriend occupied for more than three seconds at a time??? and he's actually enthralled??? what the heck?!?1!1!1!1?!

༊* he doesn't even bother covering up tbr fact that he read your diary tbh. chances are when you open it up again to the last page you wrote on, there'll be a little teasing note from him or a stupid but affectionate doodle in the margins

༊* anyways, in the future, when satoru annoys you and you try to act mad, he'll just bring up your diary and quote something sappy you wrote about him just to make it worse

ryomen sukuna

༊* sukuna knew you had a diary. he sees you writing in it all the time when you think he isn't around

༊* to be honest, at first he couldn't care less. so what if you had a diary? diaries were for children- it was weird that you didn't talk to begin with. if he wanted to get something out of you, he would. that was all there was to it. he didn't care. sukuna didn't even want to hear about your thoughts and feelings and experiences.

༊* well... until he got to thinking. why were you scribbling all of your thoughts and feelings and experiences on paper when he was right there, anyway? of course, it wasn't like sukuna cared. no, not at all. but still. you should've been telling him these things, not rambling in some silly journal.

༊* he had a right to your mind, didn't he? why was sukuna even dating you if he didn't have access to your thoughts? no, this wouldn't do. he would just have to read the damn thing himself.

༊* so that's what he did. once you'd finally gone to bed, sukuna slipped into your bedroom and pulled your diary from its hiding place. he was surprised to feel no cursed energy radiating from it- that seemed uncommon for a human diary. somewhat curiously, he opened it and began to read.

༊* instantly, sukuna sees why there's nothing cursed coming from your notebook- but tbh, he doesn't necessarily understand how. in your writing, you seem to omit the negative things he was sure you'd include. he's not the "king of curses" in your eyes- he's just sukuna, your eccentric, sarcastic, and occasionally murderous boyfriend. you don't really bring up his "thing" with itadori, either, though you write a little about the boy himself as well as the teachers and students you've met while attending the academy with him. your character analysis is certainly nothing to sneeze at despite barely knowing many of the people you mention in your diary. you write about things as if they're flowers- sukuna's surprised that that's one of the first things that pops into his head as he's reading. frankly, he thinks it's sickening. but something stops him from closing the notebook

#ryomen x reader #sukuna x reader #jjk headcanons #jjk memes #gojo satoru x reader #yuuji itadori x reader #satoru x reader smut #ryomen sukuna x you #satoru x reader #itadori x reader #yuuji x reader #gojo x reader #megumi fushiguro #ryomen sukuna #gojo satoru #yuuji itadori #sukuna x reader smut #gojo x reader smut #nanami kento #nanami kento x reader #megumi fushiguro x reader