#like I know we all love the briarwoods arc for good reason but

[pennamenotfound]

I feel like one of the reasons that the Bells Hells are so interesting and compelling to me is that they’re all so angry. Anger is so interesting to me because of its volatility. The way it can, more than any other emotion, be twisted. Think of how much more volatile Percy was in campaign one because of his revenge boner than Caleb in campaign two with his deepset guilt and grief.  

And like, sure, we had anger before in the other campaigns.

Like Percy was super angry obviously, and Vex had her rage, and Scanlan had his moment (what’s my mother’s name) in Campaign one, and you could probably pull moments for the rest of Vox Machina. Grog’s a barbarian, he rages all the time. Plus with his herd. Okay, sure. Vax certainly had his moments. Keyleth at Raishan. (I don’t think Pike realy had any real anger moments in her arc.) But their stories don’t rely on their anger as much as Percy and Vex, and not nearly as much as Bells Hells. 

In the Mighty Nein, there’s Beau who is super angry at the world, justifiably so, but the rest of the party not so much. Caleb and Yasha are guilt and grief. Cad’s faith. Jester definitely had her problems with emotion, but anger wasn’t really part of it so much as learning to let herself feel something other than happy. Fjord’s journey to Melora was much more about introspection, Veth’s journey back to herself was certainly emotionally taxing for her, but it’s back to greif and loss for her. Kingsley is all about discovery, and Essek was about finding friendship. 

But Bells Hells. They’re all so angry. With maybe the exception of Chetney, but he’s also a werewolf which is its own sort of instability. 

Ashton’s a given---Tal’s so good at anger in his characters. Perfect punk, angry at the world, angry at their situation. *chef’s kiss* perfect barbarian

Imogen has such rage bubbling. “We’re gonna sunder you, Delilah Briarwood” for one, but also, with her mother. With her powers. 

Fearne with her parents. The way she was discovering her anger had so much potential, and I really wanted to see her actually throw some fireballs or something.

Orym. I saw the look on Liam’s face when he had that insight check whisper from Tuldus. Dude, Otohan and the Ruby Vanguard killed his husband and his dad (I know, father in law, but Orym says dad.) He’s the nice one, he’s said it before himself, but... under the surface, i think he’s got some rage in him. 

FCG. Oh, FCG, with their unpredictable rage mode. Trying so desperately to be the caretaker when they don’t even know what they are. The professor in Yios gave him a lot of good information, but there’s a lot they don’t know. 

For me, with FCG and Orym both, it’s a lot of aren’t you tired of being nice? Don’t you want to go apeshit?

And then Laudna. Laudna, with the most to be angry about. She was murdered by the Briarwoods, and spent the next thirty years with her murderer in her head. Looking like a corpse. Not knowing if she was dead or alive. Being chased out of towns all over Tal’Dorei until she ran all the way to Marquet. No friends, even before she died, before Imogen. And she’s really the most interesting to me. Because we don’t see a lot of rage with her. Even with Percy in Whitestone, it’s forgiveness. It’s understanding. The only time I remember in the campaign her really being angry was when FCG turned on the party that time, and that was related to Delilah’s manipulations. 

Orym said once something like she had the worst thing out of all of them happen, and yet she’s the happiest, and how is that? And she goes, well, because the worst thing that’s happened to me already happened. 

And it’s so interesting to me because we could, in another universe, have another Ashton in Laudna. Because, really, very similar things happened to them. Both died. Both put back together not quite right, not quite in control of their situation. Feared, even. 

But she’s so loving, caring, and not wrathful, and honestly, I’d kind of love to see some anger from her. And I think we might see it if Imogen gets hurt.

Anyway i’m unhinged about bells hells. I love vox machina and mighty nein but I’ve connected most to bells hells because I’ve been watching CR since CR3 started, and I love my angy bois. 

#bells hells #critical role #cr3 #critrole #vox machina #mighty nein #chetney pock o'pea #imogen temult #ashton greymoore #fearne calloway #orym #fcg #laudna

[notori]

On a more genuine note from my previous post though: I do not think Imodna will go the same way as Vaxleth for a few reasons.

Vax's story was very personal to Liam. It always frustrates me when people act like the Raven Queen 'took Vax away' (and thus she is a bad goddess) when in fact she answered his prayer and granted his wish. Vax's story is about "Take me instead!" - not some kind of "Don't let Vex die!", and certainly not someone who was raised from the dead without their consent and bound like a puppet. Unless such an ending is expressly what Marisha wants for her character, I don't see it being narratively satisfying. Even if Laudna dies in sacrifice to save the others, because of the breadth of Delilah's power, it would be more of a general "I'm dying to save everyone" and less personal (and impactful) than Vax's trading his life for Vex's.

I joked about how this is Delilah Briarwood vs Laura Bailey again, so don't sweat it, but it's true! The players play their characters differently. Liam loves tragedy and plays it well; Laura loves romance and plays it well. Percy also had a dark streak with a hunger for power, and Vex would not let him go. I see more parallels with themes like: "I feel cruel, but in control." and "Take the mask off." Meanwhile, Imogen and Keyleth are different characters and their love interests have different relationships with death. In the end, the reason Keyleth could not do anything against the Raven Queen isn't because she's a god and Keyleth is not, but because Vax - as a paladin - chose to honour his faith and uphold his end of the deal. Imogen is not in that position because Laudna is not in that position. Laudna may see herself as just a puppet, or a risk, or a dead end - but we the audience, and Imogen, know that she is not (maybe a bit of a calculated risk). If anything, I see us on the precipice of an arc of Imogen inspiring Laudna to fight for her independence again and figuring out a way to do that (this is a world of magic after all).

And that theme of fighting for independence is something that has been there since the beginning. We have seen it both in analysis and confirmed on 4SD that Laudna's relationship with Delilah is in many ways similar to struggling with addiction. And now, into year three of C3, we are really seeing that take form when things get rough. When things get out of control, when you get desperate, that's when you grasp at anything to make it easier. It would be a real kick in the teeth to have her not overcome that struggle. Of course, there's the possibility that she does overcome that struggle by getting rid of Delilah and dying as a result. But out of game it has been referred to more in line with addiction that is constantly managed rather than addiction that is ended cold turkey - which for some people is the only way. I'll admit this one is more a personal preference but I do see it overall leaving a bad taste if Laudna were to die from Delilah in some way (again). Presuming they resolve issues with the solstice and resurrection spells, True Resurrection does exist and I'm certain the Hells would work off a 25k GP debt to bring Laudna back for good (which I see as more of a final episode/epilogue/post-game situation).

Regardless, it's a beautiful story and I'm sure that whatever happens will be what the players want. However, in this case I genuinely don't see them repeating something they have done before. Although we saw many parallels last night, there is still much which sets Imodna and Vaxleth apart narratively.

#imodna #critical role spoilers #critical role

[essayofthoughts]

(Same anon again) Why do you think Percy is so besotted by Vex? Do you think it has anything to do with his possible aforementioned ugly duckling syndrome and the fact(?) that no one like that paid him much attention before? Another random thought, do you think if he’d met her as a grumpy teen (with her being older still) he would’ve fallen for her or crushed on her the same way? I kinda headcanon Percy having a thing for slightly older women who’ve been the kissed by the sun lol.

I mean the thing is... I don't think he's besotted with Vex at first. This is gonna take a few left turns to get back on the right track, so:

Percy was raised in an upper class household - nobles, ruling nobles at that - and while I certainly get the impression he wasn't one to socialise, more focussed on study (at least going on what he said about Julius and Vesper handling matters of court while he studied) from what we see on stream he is very aware of social power dynamics. He knows how to wield that power, and he knows who to be on the right side of.

He also knows the rules of upper-class socialising. When there aren't rules, then he struggles - loose, casual socialising is not something he's easy with, which is part of why Scanlan's rapidfire quips and jokes often stall him a little: he doesn't know how to respond.

Consequently, when he first meets Vox Machina, I think he's aware of the social power Vex wields in their group as treasurer and because when she gives an opinion she's listened to and after everything he's been through, wants to be on the right side of her - hence his giving her his money.

I don't think he's smitten or besotted at this point - I think he's scared. He doesn't know these people, they're strangers who rescued him from a cell for reasons he's not entirely sure of and quite a few of them are unpredictable - Grog is big and at times aggressive, Tiberius is effusive, Vax can veer between friendly and moody, Scanlan is crass. Keyleth is nice, but a bit nervous and awkward, and Pike is lovely but holy - but Vex is someone he straightforwardly understands.

Something you may notice over the course of the campaign, is that when it comes to company, Percy tends to be more easy and more willing to talk when he's in the company of the women. I suspect he feels more secure with them - he can predict them better than he can the men, and growing up with at times precarious formal social situations and then exacerbated by Ripley and the Briarwoods probably means he prefers that stability to the uncertainty of the men.

So... for a long time I think he liked Vex for being steady and largely predictable, the only other adult in the group, as Taliesin once put it, someone he feels safe with and someone with social power - if he stays on her good side, he's safe within the group.

And then... I think he takes offence at how she's treated in the Value of Valour by that elven shopkeep. That's when he first starts making arrows for her, because he has seen the kind of person she is, that she's clever and good at haggling and keeps them safe and in funds, and Percy is a man who values manners and honour: I think he took offence on her behalf at how she was treated and well, he can't change the shopkeep's behaviour but he can make up the lack of those arrows she was trying to buy by making some for her himself.

So he does. And, surprise of all surprises, she's delighted. She kisses him on the cheek. She uses the arrow and is further delighted. And... well he doesn't dare to expect further signs of approval but he likes to see her happy and, as I said, he knows the value of being on Vex's good side, so... he makes her some more arrows.

And then the Briarwoods happen and he's a bit distracted for a stretch. He's not even sure he's going to live, so he's not really thinking about social dynamics so much- he has other priorities.

But. During the Briarwood Arc, Vex supports him. Doesn't doubt him. Shoves him up against a wall and demands to know how he's doing, but she's the one who yells at him to fight Orthax back.

There's a conversation he has with Vax, before they descend into the Marrowglade Loch, where Percy says he's reordered some of his priorities. That what he's doing, now his home is freed and he's still alive, is recognising what makes him happy and moving towards it.

It's worth noting here that Taliesin has said that Percy didn't realise he was in love with Vex until Syngorn. But I do firmly think that Percy at this point recognised that Vex's was company he enjoyed and that he enjoyed seeing Vex happy.

And then they went down into the Loch and the tomb buried beneath it and we all know how that worked out.

The point I'm making with this rather roundabout approach is that the things that all prompt Percy to fall in love with Vex are the things he has always liked about her. The fact she is consistent, that he understands her, that she keeps them safe and in funds, that she is expressive but rarely in such a way as he's uncomfortable (Percy expresses discomfort at hugs a few times, Vex usually keeps to a hand or a kiss to the cheek). He likes her and respects her and from that he likes to see her happy - do you not like to see your friends and loved ones happy? And the best relationships are those that are founded in friendship.

And so, when Syngorn is bearing down on them, and Percy goes to confess his error regarding Garmelie to her and she turns to him to ask Do I look like I come from money?

This person he trusts, this friend he loves, this woman he respects with his whole heart at this point because she has shown herself to be strong and unafraid even as he was bent on vengeance, who's kept them safe through thick and thin - he knows she is worthy of all that respect and trust and love - how can he respond other than he does? How can some part of his brain not go oh. That's what all this is.

All these things about her that he loves - they are all the things that were there already. They were all reasons he already liked her.

And then, she is vulnerable with him, trusts him with that and how can he not be touched that Vex, as closed off as he can be at times, is trusting him? Is sharing this with him, even if sideways - that she trusts him too, respects his opinion, if she's asking him.

Percy respects her capability from the start, and that respect means that Vex likes him, knows she can trust him - and that allows the vulnerability, that they can trust and respect each other. Because, for all their hurts, they each trust that the other will not hurt them if they show these bleeding wounds to them, and they respect them enough to not lie to them.

That's where it comes from, in the end.

As for your other question, I think we can safely say that Percy's type is dark-haired, smart, and able to step on him. For more, well, that I'll write when I get to my No Briarwoods (Yet) AU.

#percy de rolo #vex'ahlia #vox machina #perc'ahlia #anonymous #ask #critrole meta #cr meta #my meta #living up to my username

[percified]

Vestiges are such concepts both narratively and in terms of gameplay and I adore them so much

#like gameplay wise. having weapons that level up with you is ALWAYS a dope ass concept #narratively tho. WHEW THOSE NAMES. WHEW THOSE DESIGNS. #I love matt mentioning cabal's ruin and tal immediately points at himself #;out of bullets. #like I know we all love the briarwoods arc for good reason but #I LOVE the Conclave arc because it allows for so much character growth and dynamics #and the whole Vestige - Dragon - Vestige - Dragon story beat flow is just SO clean #I adore it so much

[loquaciousquark]

Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E111 (Sept. 29, 2020)

@eponymous-rose‘s internet is out tonight, so I’m here late and without coffee! Let’s see how many typos we can fit into an hour and a half episode.

Tonight’s guests: Ashley Williams JOHNSON, oops!! & Liam O’Brien!

We open with Brian in light-up vented sunglasses and Henry at his side, as always. Dani is very excited to be back and has fun-buns in her hair tonight. So cute! Everyone talks about how much they’re Zooming these days for work, and Liam mentions he and Matt & Marisha did a digital cocktail night. He and Dani arrange on camera to have a distanced, masked meetup in the park so Dani can see Liam’s dog again.

No announcements! Tonight, we’re discussin’ episodes 110 and 111.

Starting with the end, Brian jumps right to it by asking how they feel that Molly is alive. Liam 100% thought we’d be back to him, but still wasn’t ready when it happened. Caleb doubted he was alive. Both Liam & Ashley marvel at the numerology that keeps cropping up throughout the show. Brian hates not being able to see it at the same time the show happens live; Ashley was biting her tongue not telling him spoilers. (He doesn’t want to hear spoilers unless Yasha dies so he can be there for Ashley if needed.) Brian says he has a little reality trauma from the night Pike died in the pre-stream game; it was the first time he’d realized how much it affected the players.

Ashley’s realized how much she misses unpacking the game with Brian when they get home. She just has to sit with it until everyone else gets to see it. Brian: “Instead she comes home and I have to fill her in on the Real Housewives of Amarillo, Texas.”

Reunion dinner with Trent! Liam talks about how the way things unfolded with Trent is not at all how he imagined it in his pre-game creation; he’d expected more of a fracas, more of an unexpected clash. “Caleb might have been a different person if he’d run into these people earlier in the story. The M9 changed him before [Trent & co] came back and got to him.” He’d imagined Astrid & Eodwulf to be complicated encounters, but says what Matt’s designed has been even harder than that. A fight on a mountain is one thing, but walking into a room with “what Trent dropped, is impossible to cope with.” It also means that if what Trent said is true, anything Caleb does now is effectively of Trent’s design, even killing him.

He doesn’t think Caleb would have gone anywhere near Trent & co without the M9. “The Mighty Nein--it took a long time--but they cracked Caleb open like a walnut.”

He thinks what Matt has done is much more murky than the simplicity of murder, such as the Briarwood arc. He can’t just exact his revenge now.

Liam says that the tempation to tinker with time is no longer as all-consuming as it was. He might still be tempted if Matt dangles a bunch of carrots in front of him, but he thinks that now it might be better to make sure that that kind of thing doesn’t happen anymore for anyone else (!!!). “It’s still a nugget in his brain and it’s still possible he could be tempted by the drug, but what he wanted in the beginning was entirely selfish, but now that the M9 are involved he owes it to them, to the people of the country, even on the Dynasty side--is so complex that if Caleb were to get that carrot and chase it, he would be risking everything.”

Ashley agrees that most of their choices are no longer black and white. Many of the situations feel more like real life. Liam agrees and says he’ll sometimes make decisions that he’s both really happy with and regrets at the same time. They both look forward to what Matt will reveal in Act 3.

Brian feels it’s tough to gauge how deep they are into what Matt’s planned for the campaign. Liam says that thanks to Matt’s skill, he really doesn’t know what Caleb wants right now.

Ashley agrees, and talks about how she created Yasha to have more to overcome than Pike. She loves what Matt’s doing in terms of allowing each of them to overcome more emotional hurdles than physical ones in this campaign.

Going back to Molly’s grave was very exciting for Ashley since she wasn’t able to be there when he died in the game & wanted to do what she could to honor him. Yasha, however, was very hesitant but knew what needed to be done. She’s not very open with her emotions, but both she & Ashley were stressed. They all could feel the energy in the studio & knew Matt was about to do something mind-blowing. Liam: “You could feel all the dust in the air coalescing around Taliesin.”

Brian trips over Eodwulf. Liam tries to help him find some pronunciation shortcuts. Ashley: “You say it so beautifully.” Brian: “Thank you.” Ashley: “Not you.”

Caleb knows how wickedly intelligent & ambitious Astrid is, and was heartened by the wavering he saw in her at the dinner. However, he can’t trust her until he knows why she’s where she is.

He really feels that if they’d had this dinner 60 episodes ago, Caleb might have tilted back along the evil axis and he would have had to retire the character. He had a playlist entirely for if Caleb turned evil and left the party.

The vision of Zuala was a huge deal for Yasha, even along every other instance she’s had of being mind-controlled, etc. “That’s guilt I think she will always carry with her, but at least she’s starting to forgive herself.” Losing the chains, sprouting wings again--Ashley reiterates that she didn’t know that was even a possibility, she just picked the skeletal wings because they were dope--were huge moments in the character development. Ashley’s glad Beau was there at the moment of the first flight; Ashley thinks of the quotation “Happiness is only beautiful when it’s shared,” and because Yasha tends to keep things very much to herself, having someone there to share it made it more impactful. “That was a cool moment. There’s been a lot of healing for Yasha these last episodes.”d

Ashley also says sometimes in that moment, when all eyes are on you in a one-on-one with Matt, everything goes muffled like Saving Private Ryan. “Wub wub wub.”

Dani feels that the only way she could even have the conversation with Zuala was to let her go in the first place.

Liam thinks one of the things that Yasha & Cad share is that still waters run deep. He loves how much Yasha hangs back sometimes, only to then reveal some new moment like the fighting pit. Apparently Ashley also has a knife collection, and uses that metal side of herself when she wants to let that new side of Yasha show.

Cosplay of the Week: Crystal Armstead (@riyuski on twitter) in a Reani cosplay. Beautiful!

How does Liam feel about the return to Rexxentrum? Very, very complicated. Caleb loves magic and lights up when he sees it, which is wrapped in the Soltryce Academy; he brought folks to the dance hall for the same reason, which was wanting the M9 to see the things that he loved about the city.

Yasha felt the same way about visiting the Chantry of the Dawn. It was a memory of a very traumatic moment (almost killing Beau), but given everything that’s happened between then and now it was cathartic to see again. There’s been a lot of healing in the past few weeks. It also felt like a physical representation of Yasha’s growth, the last time she was controlled against her will like that (or at least, until she was mind-controlled by Vokodo. Ashley sighs, aggrieved.)

Brian: “The tower really feels like a love letter from Caleb to his friends.” Liam: “It is, and a love letter from Liam to his friends.” When he looked at Caleb’s spell list, he remembered how amazing the mansion was in Campaign One and how many role-playing moments it led to and knew he wanted to incorporate it. However, he knew it could never be the same as Scanlan’s mansion because Caleb doesn’t have the same improvisational genius as Scanlan does. Liam has been “tinkering with this machine” for over a year, waiting for the moment to reveal it. He loves that he got a chance to see Jester’s room in time to have her tower room reflect reality. He’d discussed the tower extensively with Dani & Matt. Brian: “Hey! What am I, chopped--what’s the saying?” Ashley: “Chopped cabbage?”

Ashley marvels at the design of the dome. Liam talks about how Caleb knowing Caleb has been abused has been slowly getting better, but he also loves now being able to juxtapose that healing with his innate love of magic and how beautiful he finds it, how he loves to use magic as his artistry. The Soltryce Academy wasn’t “Welcome to DEATH SCHOOL,” it was the Sorbonne. It was amazing, everything he wanted. It was only one bad apple within that recruited him and turned it all bad.

Liam also points out how much it means in real life to be able to express his love and care for his friends in person too.

Ashley talks about how much she loves Yasha’s armor in a meta sense because it’s so cool and useful, and great for her armor class, but struggles with what it represents in game. She might not be able to let it go due to its sheer utility, and she may have to find an in-game reason to justify keeping it.

Ashley segues a moment into talking about her velvet top which apparently has a matching velvet scrunchie. She’s asked to demonstrate the scrunchie and ties her hair up in a way that I have never in my life seen someone do with a scrunchie before, and my hair’s been waist-length most of my life. I watch it again in slow motion. How did she DO that??

Caleb’s been looking for the right time to tell Jester about his past for a long time. She’s a good person and makes him feel like he might be capable of becoming a good person at the end, because that’s how she saw him. Liam knew from Laura that Jester wouldn’t condemn him, but Caleb put it off as long as possible. He also wanted to take the time to make sure Caduceus & Yasha knew the whole story too before they went to dinner with Trent.

Liam was also relieved to get it out, because he could never remember who knew and who didn’t, and now he doesn’t have to track it anymore. “Now we can move forward. Now we can heal wounds, maybe.”

Ashley feels Cad picks up a lot, more than most people realize. Yasha was really affected by Cad’s line: “Patience can be good, but it can lead to apathy.” She really feels it opened her eyes, and she appreciated the simplicity of him pointing out her hair’s growing back white again. Having a friend notice “hey, you’re changing for the better” really means a lot. She’s interested in seeing how this means things might change with Beau.

Dani points out that it also reinforced for Yasha that she can want things too--she can be patient and just continue to be with the group, as she’s wanted, but it’s okay to want more than that too. Ashley remembers Veth asking her what her purpose is. There’s a part of her that knows Yasha is still figuring that out, and she’s interested to see how Yasha will continue to change. She’s always spent her life serving somebody--the Sky Spear, Obann--and then even after she joined the M9, it was very centered on “what do you need, what does the group need, how can I help with our next job?” She’s going to have to take some time to figure out what she wants.

Fanart of the Week! Lovely Yasha & Beau flight art by @JMNP7888. The wings look amazing!

Brian: “One of the things we want to talk to you about, Liam, is about the Vokodo fight and the FUCKING disintegrate spell.”

Liam: “That was one of the most insane 60-90 seconds of gameplay that ever existed for the table, and definitely for me, in the entire history of the show. A lot of people think I just went, oh man, just bet it all on black. But what if I told you that...I Larkin’d the first 20 seconds of that fight and then at a quarter to midnight, I forgot that the reflection was a thing? I just forgot it was a thing! I spent that whole battle thinking I’m just here to banish things. I might buff my friends a little bit, maybe I’ll counterspell, but I’m just here to banish. And it didn’t work and it didn’t work and then it did! Finally it did and Jester made it work and then he was GONE. And then everyone got greedy and it was done but we brought him BACK. And it was a quarter to midnight and I’m not an animatronic D&D lesson machine, I’m just a guy playing D&D at 11:45 at night, and he came back and everyone started Goodfellas circling him and kicking him, and Beau & Yasha are gonna kill him, and then it’s my turn? Disintegrate! And then the room was quiet, and then time passed, and Matt asked, you really cast Disintegrate? And I said yes, of course, and Matt started rolling dice, and in the back of my head I started wondering why he asked if I was rolling Disintegrate. Oh no. In the back of my brain, I was like, well, just tell him that’s not what you did. Tell him you didn’t remember the reflection thing. But he’s already rolling dice! You can’t take it back now. Hold on a second. I’m going to take you on the journey I went through. I was thinking: you have a spell save of 17. This thing wasn’t that fast. +1, +2, maybe? Anything under 14 is okay. That’s 70%. 70%. That’s okay, right? And still no one said anything to tip me off that I was in ELDRITCH MADNESS at that point, no one said anything about the reflection! And then I realize it can reflect back on us, and I realize this is...disintegrate. And then I started becoming morbidly, macabre-ly fascinated at the puppet dance of death I had created. Well, this is a mess. I have made a mess. Let’s just sit in it. And somehow, nonsensically, spectacularly, it worked out in my favor. I went home that night and I got in bed next to my wife, who was fast asleep, and I stared at the ceiling going, dude. Duuuuuuuude. Duuuuuuuuuude.”

He apparently also told his therapist about this and how terrible it was and how close he “danced myself to the precipice like a crazy person!” Marisha (as told by Liam): “Epic roll, though.”

Matt told Liam that night that if it had been reflected, it would have gone back on him. “If a player throws an M80 in the middle of a room, it would reflect on that player who threw it.”

Ashley talks about how interesting that Yasha is not performative, and yet has been doing these public performances with the harp. It’s a great experiment for Ashley--Yasha doesn’t like the attention, but feels like she is making something beautiful for the world.” She’s trying to change something about how she views herself & her place in the world. She was raised to be a weapon for the Sky Spear, but she’s also extremely gentle and loves flowers & beautiful music, and the further away she’s gotten from the tribe, she’s falling in love with gentle, beautiful things. 

Liam also points out it easy (real, but simplistic) to make an entire character centered around a single personality trait: “I’m angry all the time. I’m sad all the time.” He thinks it’s more realistic to see nuance in personality.

Liam can see some paths for Caleb to find peace & do good. He doesn’t know if Caleb is conscious of those. He thinks it’s a huge step forward to admit he was molded in this direction at all and that it wasn’t all his choice, but doesn’t know if this is the same possibility as redemption.

He also mentions Essek in this answer: there was/is attraction there, both intellectual and physical--the forehead kiss was a big marker of that--and he’s interested in seeing where that goes because he’s invested in Essek’s redemption arc on its own, but Essek is not as high on the list as other things Caleb/the M9 need to work on. He loved the “high spy times” of the Essek arc and the tangled-up-ness of feelings getting involved at the same time as intense commitment to duty.

Liam always felt Matt would bring Molly back in some aspect, even though Caleb always demurred because he doesn’t believe in fate. Dani and Brian agree that this is the start of a new act.

Ashley cried at the Vilya reunion. She thought that was an incredible moment and was so glad to see Keyleth. Liam: “Keyleth as part of our story is everything to me. That story is really important to me, so getting just a glimpse of her again was so important to me.” They could all see how that affected Marisha & how special it was to her. Liam: “It was such a great note in her song or color in her painting. She achieved magnificent things and was powerful and great, but had a very heartbreaking and sad ending, so to have this sliver of joy go back in is so complex and beautiful and masterfully done.”

Aaaaaaand that’s all for tonight! Remember, no Critical Role this week. Talks will be back in two weeks. As always, don’t forget to love each other. <3

#talks machina #critical role #talks machina spoilers #critical role spoilers #long post #long post for ts

[watchingcr]

The legend of Vox Machina 10-12

Episode 10

- Cassandra being the reason Percy doesn’t kill Anna just in a different way lol

- cass I love you but we know how this goes

- killing the de rolo fam

- twins fighty

- thanks Keyleth

- Scanlan you and your drugs

- the betrayal of the siblings

- look at that married couple

Episode 11

- it’s just Vecna psh

- Ah the Briarwoods..

- silly vax

- sibling fights

- pikelan!

- i broke the world for us…

- i will say matt’s scream hits harder

- not kiki

-sipping ball of doom

Episode 12

- true loves kiss?

- wait it was vex

- well not Percy being the one giving the sword is good haha

- hey Orthax

- take off the mask!

- being killed by a metaphor

- Anna, Orthax, Sylas and Delilah are gone and I’m sure we will never see them again, especially Delilah

- it was so expensive!

- no I talked to the tree? It talked back

- lol walk away

- sun tree a-ok

- no kaylie?

- oh look dragons.

Thoughts:

I really liked the animated series changes and all, like the core of what makes VM, VM is there and some of the most iconic moments and lines. I love them so much.

Season 2 must be longer right, I can’t imagine the whole conclave arc in 12 episodes, if for the Briarwoods so much was cut and changed

Also interested to see how they deal with Kaylie and well Keyleth and the fire ashari/ raishan

Sad to see it end but heey i am rewatching so

#critical role #vox machina spoilers #tlovm #tlovm spoilers

[the-big-nope]

Since “the campaign is ending soon” declarations are flying around again, here’s a list of hanging plot threads that indicate why that’s probably not the case.

(For organization’s sake, the points are separated by Major Plots (plot threads that would probably consist of around 10-15 episodes per arc, if not longer), Lesser Plots (smaller scale elements that could be resolved in 1-3 episodes), and Speculative (stuff that isn’t a guarantee but I’ve got hunches about).

Major Plots

1. The Eyes of Nine/Nonagon/Eiselcross plot the M9 are currently pursuing. I can understand to a degree why people are getting endgame vibes off of this (Matt’s been foreshadowing it since the beginning, it certainly feels big enough to be the climactic threat), but just learning about the threat doesn’t necessarily mean it’s set to trigger the endgame. Vox Machina found out about Vecna way back in the Briarwood arc, and that didn’t become an active concern until way later.

2. Taking on the Cerberus Assembly. Less world-altering in its urgency or danger, but I would be very shocked if this wasn’t addressed and resolved in some way before the campaign is over. Cleaning up the empire has been a stated personal goal for both Beau and Caleb for some time now. The NPCs most tied to Caleb’s backstory are here, and Caleb’s arc probably wouldn’t feel complete without some kind of resolution with those three characters. Additionally, the Cerberus Assembly is emblematic of the moral grayness and corruption of power themes that have pervaded this campaign. Matt’s made it a point to have several NPCs talk about how “the outward war may be over but the conflict goes on,” or “things are the way they are so why bother trying to change them.” That idea of fighting a corrupt status quo despite tradition and historical precedent trying to tell you “that’s just how things are” seems to be a story Matt’s trying to engage the characters in, and regardless of the outcome they’ll get from it, I feel like it’s going to come up at some point, and the Cerberus Assembly seems like the best means of exploring it.

3. Fjord, Uk’otoa, and the other Titans. Yeah, it’s kinda vital that Fjord and the others find some permanent way to resolve this, because I don’t think there’s any way of properly concluding Fjord’s story without it. Fjord’s never going to be content hiding on land for the rest of his life with the key; he swore the Oath of the Open Seas, and he loves the ocean despite all the dangers it’s thrown at him. He’s never going to be free to embrace who he is and who he really wants to be as long as Uk’otoa stands in the way. On top of that, though this is kinda speculative and not guaranteed to become relevant to this campaign, there are the other titan creatures that were depicted on the temple walls alongside Uk’otoa on Urukayxl. I don’t want to go into too much detail about those because EGTW spoilers, but given the prevailing theme of both ‘nine’ and ‘eyes,’ with nine total eye-shaped keys needed to free these three beings, as well as the foreshadowing circus performance Matt narrated in the first episode, they might well be tied into the greater plot that seems to be unfolding in Eiselcross.

Lesser Plots

1. Essek. Love him or hate him, Essek has ingrained himself as one of the primary NPCs of this campaign. He’s played a major role in the events of the story, he’s informed the arcs of several of the PCs, and formed reasonably strong bonds with a few of them. Seeing some kind of resolution with him, whether he takes the M9′s second chance to heart or wades right back into making the same mistakes, seeing where he lands in the end would be quite a shame to miss.

2. Zuala’s Grave and Yasha’s Tribe. This might be more in speculative territory, because it’s absolutely possible Yasha could decide that chapter of her life is closed for good, and she’s found all the healing she needs with the M9. However, her love for Zuala is strong enough that I believe she’d want to have that last, proper farewell, even if she has healed enough to move on with her life, and closing in that final gap in her memory might be too alluring to ignore.

Speculative

1. Tharizdun. I put this in speculative because even though Tharizdun is a big deal, it doesn’t necessarily mean he’s going to be making a return appearance. Vox Machina came across several references to and artifacts of Orcus, but never encountered him during the campaign. However, since he was tied directly to Yasha’s backstory, and Matt made a point of explaining that Tharizdun and the Luxon are similar but antithetical entities that might be closely related, I’m not counting him out of the race yet (or the Luxon either if I’m being honest, I just have less to go off of with that one).

2. Molaesmyr. Am I the only one that thinks Cad’s personal plot isn’t as wrapped up as it appears? I could see the transformed residuum acting as protection for just the Blooming Grove, but I highly doubt it’s going to cure the whole Savalierwood. Whether that’s going to be resolved by the M9 or not, I don’t know, but considering that A) what I said above, B) Ludinus Da’leth originally came from Molaesmyr, and C) this was where Star Razor was sundered, there are enough points of connection that I don’t quite trust it to sit quietly and not make any trouble.

With all of that to consider, not to mention any other side quests, personal plot beats, and other unexpected twists we cannot yet predict, I think we’ve got a good while yet before we say goodbye to the Mighty Nein.

#critical role #they might not go all the way to level 20 #but i'm betting on them making it to 17 at least #and if there's still more story to tell #they'll keep going #the tale is over when it's over

[bibatbrat]

Vox Machina Episode 13

(which is technically Vox Machina Episode 12 but whatever)

Aww, Clarota does totally betray them but I do think the Elder Brain did a lil extra work to make him do it.  When he still had his hat on he was resisting it :(

Another very good Travis curse: “Son of a bitch taint fuck”

Vex is so smart shooting her Hail of Thorns at the Elder Brain 😌

Vex and Keyleth said we gotta save this gottdamn earth goku

Hghh Grog being grappled and forced to pick between trying to save Pike or Scanlan

Everyone telling Vex to save herself and live to train the next party oh my god

Travis fucking holding up his notepad and it just says over and over again in different colors of ink “I don’t trust Clarota” I’m weeping lmaooo

How wild would it be if Percy had just grabbed the fucking Horn and Orcus gets in there all ready for possession and shit and Orthrax is already up in Percy’s head chilling like, “Wow this is awkward”

“Some people have no sense of fucking honor!”

Quotes that hurt worse after the Briarwood arc :)

Percy swooping down to grab Vax with the carpet and Vax sprinting the fuck away to grab Clarota’s shitty Magneto helmet and backstab a bitch

Vax literally saving Pike in the nick of time from losing her brain... that’s friendship babey!!!!

Aww Pike and Scanlan 🥺

“And I jump on the carpet and kiss Percy on the cheek and say, ‘Let’s get out of here you bastard’“ - moments that live in my head rent free forever and always 🥲

Keyleth trying to bloodbend the Elder Brain god she’s so cool

They just want to kill the Elder Brain so badly and Matt’s just like “this bitch has 300 HP please just leave”

Aww Scanlan changing into a pterodactyl so he can carry Pike instead of them waiting for Vax and Percy on the carpet

Keyleth saving Trinket and Vex with Grasping Vine and making it look like they have a big bear balloon lmaooo

“We made some enemies today” - yeah I do want to find out if them pissing off the entire Underdark ever comes back to bite them in the ass

They’re so dumb they don’t fucking know where they are lmaoo

Oh my God they’re trying so hard to be Proper and Real Emperor-Appointed Adventurers and this dude is just like “....okay but can y’all please just fill out this paperwork”

Oh my God they take the Horn of Orcus and a paralyzed Lady Kima on a pub crawl

Aww I love all the little Greyskull staff people

Vex being the one who’s like “hey uhhh remember how we started a war five hours ago”

Vex and Pike being the Voices of Reason pointing out that Kima’s a fucking paladin who probably doesn’t want to use the Horn to end the world

Love that they make their important decisions half-drunk, good for them

Grog just passing out directly into his plate

Oh God and they just fucking left Kima in the kitchen skfljskdfjlsfl

Kima said Let’s Go See My Super Smart Girlfriend Who Knows Everything

sadlkjakdlj them trying to remember how lawful good the Order of the Platinum Dragon is lmao

((hghhhh Gilmore next episode))

#vox machina #critical role #live-blogging

[c-is-for-circinate]

Post-ep reaction for EPISODE 100

Fuck, I was up at 6:45 this morning and I drank more than expected at zoom virtual knit night, it has been a long time since I had to focus through a Thursday but we are doing it, we are making this happen, and if it’s a CR night then I have post-ep thoughts.  That’s just how we roll on this blog.  I remember how this works.

So.  Some thoughts:

According to the wiki, according to the Explorer’s Guide, Desirat the Twilight Phoenix is imprisoned within the Cyrios Mountains, just up the hill from Isharnai.  That said, the info given so far really does sound like Desirat, and man do I want to see some of that phoenix (or fucking Quajath the Undermaw, holy cow Matt that’s some great naming.)

So, proposal: Uk’otoa was sealed away with three keys and then partially released, and the team currently holds the last orb of releasing him.  Why couldn’t Desirat have actually been really released, and ended up out here on a little island where it can just be god-king over all it surveys?  Works for me.

The reason it feels like this ought to be Desirat or something along those lines is that we’ve hit the point in this story where new things coming up should either be the core of a very, very big arc (like, brand new Chroma Conclave arc), or should start to always tie back in to something that’s come before.  The M9 are at level 12; we’re past the halfway point.  We’ve hit the part of the story where everything they’ve pulled and tweaked and tugged and changed and been deliberately euphemistically horny over starts to rain down consequences, one after the other, in subtle ways and big ones.  We shouldn’t be getting brand new out of nowhere big bads, we should be seeing all of our old seeds starting to bloom.

(Think about VM, starting at the Briarwoods arc.  As soon as the Briarwoods showed up, Vox Machina effectively stopped dealing with big bads that hadn’t already been established and foreshadowed in the story so far.  The Chroma Conclave were allies of General Krieg come back to call, and their targets were Emon, Westruun, Draconia, the Ashari, places that one member or another of VM at one point or another had called home.  The side bosses along the way were Grog’s old herd and Percy’s old torturer.  Hotis went back all the way to the first Slayer’s Take episodes.  There were plenty of new challenges, of course there were, but everything VM faced was always, always an echo back to somewhere, because that’s how stories work.  The first half of the story is about stacking up the dominoes, one by one, seeing where they come together, where they fit, how they sit in precarious balance.  The second half is about how they fall.)

Also the Traveler picked this island for a reason.  Does he think he can eat this other demigod and absorb its power?  I do hope so.

I don’t even know what to say on a character note for this episode.  I love them all.  Godspeed and god bless.  I can’t wait until next Thursday.

They did such a good job with that regular fucking dragon turtle battle, and the hilarious chaos of waterskiing behind the boat to try and ensure it doesn’t catch them is just in every way such peak D&D to me (because yes, classic D&D is about rolling your initiative and fighting your battles, but peak D&D is about the bizarre, hilarious, and truly unlikely creative lengths a party goes to in order to avoid their battles, and man do I respect that at any level).  I am so proud of them.

I LOVE DISPLACER BEASTS.

#cr spoilers #critical role #episode 100

[your-turn-to-role]

ayyyyy happy 4/13 have my second list of classpects, vox machina edition! (@lostsometime to add to the homestuck au)

(m9 here)

vex - thief of mind

vax - rogue of blood

percy - witch of light

keyleth - page of breath

scanlan - thief of life

grog - prince of rage

pike - heir of space

tary - witch of mind

first off, there are a couple copies here, and they don’t have a time player, so vox machina on their own could not win the game. but hey, weird plot shit exists, and the alpha kids managed it by combining their session with the beta kids, so who knows how this would go

(explanations under the cut)

1) vex - thief of mind

vex has a lot of ideas about her sense of self. but when you get right down to it, none of them are actually about her sense of self, and rather about how people see her. image is important to mind players, but it’s not really linked with identity. in fact, the canon description of mind players states they have very fluid, shifting concepts of identity, it’s far more important to them that they remain rational and have a logical line of reasoning than sticking to things just because they feel right or wrong. and i think this is very true for vex, she doesn’t often doubt herself, but she doesn’t really know who she is, beyond just what she’s trying to emulate or avoid.

thief bc she’s still one of the stealth twins, it is very her thing, but she’s definitely the louder of the two, the thief demands to be known, the rogue quietly assists. she’s headstrong, stubborn, and the world owes her everything it’s taken from her, which she definitely plans to steal back. and honestly that’s her right and i love her.

2) vax - rogue of blood

god i really love the fact that the twins are a thief/rogue pair, it not only fits who they are as people but vex being the active version of vax’s passive class and vice versa fits so well

(also fun fact, i have something of a personality test/checklist i grade characters on when i’m struggling to figure out their class or feel like i’m being biased towards one particular classpect. there’s 15 possible points per class, most characters will get a highest score of maybe 9 or 10, homestuck characters get something like 12-13. vax, however, does what no one else has ever done, and scored all 15 points in rogue. he is more rogue per rogue than any rogue in homestuck. 100% pure distilled rogue boy.)

personality quizzes aside though, he really is so obviously a rogue. he’s got everything of the thief archetype built into his entire character, but while a homestuck thief steals by their own will and for their own benefit, all of the rogue’s same actions go towards supporting their friends. also, as a passive class, their decisions tend to be less personal drive based and more guided by their aspect, as if the universe was working through them, which is definitely the case for our champion of the raven queen. they’ve been described in canon as the robin hood class, rebellious, but in an altruistic way. true punk. fuck the system, love recklessly

blood players need a family. they draw their strength from the bonds they have with those around them, they’re stubborn as all hell, especially when it seems like there’s no way out of a situation, but it’s in determination to protect their chosen family and keep everyone safe and happy. if they’re leaders, they’re inspirational ones rather than commanding ones. and this is “dramatic speeches about teamwork and morality” vax, “what the fuck do we have in this world except for moments with each other” vax, “how lucky i have been to have had all of you” vax. what else could he be?

3) percy - witch of light

so percy’s an interesting one, because i kinda wanna give him two classpects? like, if you classpect percy before or during the briarwood arc, he’s a prince of light. after that, he becomes way more of a witch. (though, to be fair, light players and witches are both incredibly prone to getting possessed, so, maybe he was a witch all along and just acted really prince-y)

he’s definitely an active class, no doubt about it. percy will fight gods to achieve his own ends. prince, being the most active class, and one designed to cause destruction, definitely suits orthax percy. but then things change, and you realise what he actually is

witches are manipulator classes, like knights, but active manipulator classes. they can’t create things out of nothing like some classes do, but instead bend and twist and transform their aspect (and the world around them, using their aspect) to achieve their goals. percy’s human, and not magic. he doesn’t have any particular special abilities in order to do things, he gets by on ingenuity and reckless bravery. that post that was going around a while ago about how all of vox machina are basically gods and percy’s just a guy with a gun does well to prove the point here, because he keeps up anyway. he’s made mistakes and there are things in the world now that he can’t change, but he does his best to work within those constraints and make as good of a world as he can with what he has

and what he has, usually, is knowledge. which is the main dominion of the light aspect, along with luck (and, you know, taliesin and dice rolling). light players are scholars first and foremost, but very rarely bookish scholars, instead the kind of scholars that think they can make a demon deal and get away with it because they’re clever enough for that, and also they’re extra enough that they’d do it anyway for the aesthetic

4) keyleth - page of breath

this was the easiest of all of these for me to do, it just slots so neatly into place. pages are a slow moving class that have to work their way around all the side quests before they get a lot of their power, but after that they’re powerhouses. they’re easily underestimated, by others and by themselves. keyleth takes a while to come to terms with herself and her power and her effect on the world, most of the plot takes place within her slowly completing her aramente, she often worries she won’t be good enough for anything that’s expected of her, but once she hits level 20 she is a master of the elements, a true leader of her people, and literally unkillable.

breath fits for two reasons. the first is being the aspect of freedom, of acting without being controlled by anyone else’s thoughts or decisions. and keyleth, for all her anxiety and all her bad luck, has never made a choice she didn’t agree with. along with vax she’s the first to speak up when she feels like the group’s moral choices aren’t holding up to her standards, when they’re moving in a direction that isn’t right. the second is that it’s the aspect of air, and the wind, and she’s literally the leader of the air ashari. she can and does in fact do the windy thing

5) scanlan - thief of life

we’ve covered life already in my nott/veth explanation, but it really is so scanlan. look at this excerpt and tell me it’s not written for scanlan shorthalt

[If you're poisoned, chances are the Life-bound have something for what ails ya. This applies to both physical and mental suffering, though it might not be a cure you'll like. They also have the tendency to put other's needs before their own, which never ends well for anyone, because the Life-bound can grow bitter if they feel their own self-care has had to be shunted aside.]

figuring out class was harder? a lot of vox machina classes are pretty difficult to figure out. prince would work to an extent because of scanlan’s self destructive tendencies, bard would work to an extent because he often feels like things are out of his hands, but i think i’m going with thief. scanlan’s more of an active class, despite playing support in dnd, he’s very self motivated and not one to listen much to the guidance of the universe. thief i feel fits with the headstrong attitude, the creative out of the box thinking, and the need for attention in a very specific way (less so having people celebrate you, scanlan enjoys that but can easily shrug it off if it doesn’t happen, it’s more causing things for the sake of knowing and having other people know that you caused them)

6) grog - prince of rage

honestly this is the one i’d be most willing to bend on? it, took me forever to come up with any kind of classpect for grog, he seems to resist being classpected. i know a lot about him as a person, but translating that into either class or aspect was just hard. but i’ve gone with prince because grog’s never stopped for anyone (except maybe pike), because it’s a destruction based class, because it’s the most active on the scale, and grog is definitely one to go do things purely because he wants to do things and wants to do them now.

rage because rage players are about truth at all costs, even if that cost is often destabilizing entire systems and leaving the rubble to pick itself back up. and it makes me think about how grog has never really wanted to disguise himself, and especially about just before the kevdak fight - he knew he would probably get killed if he went back there as himself, but he refused to go in under false pretenses, because that wouldn’t be right

7) pike - heir of space

ashley’s just always drawn to those heirs. i think though with pike it definitely is a consequence of her being in and out a lot, because she’s not just an heir, she’s an heir of space.

heirs tend to stumble into their role rather than creating it or seeking it out. on a meta level, ashley only created pike because the team needed a cleric and she worked it out from there, but as far as pike herself is concerned, she doesn’t really know what she’s supposed to be doing or what her purpose is, but she’s been trying to do her best to follow sarenrae’s teachings, trying to do her best to guide her friends, and hoping that nothing goes wrong along the way.

space, too, is an aspect of patience. it’s about valuing the journey more than the destination, it’s about seeing what the universe has in store for you and trusting that it’s just as likely to turn out good as it is bad - you’ll know when the time comes to step in, at which point space players are pretty fierce fighters. but for now, for pike, it’s trying to help her friends one step at a time

8) tary - witch of mind

tary is like percy but cheating. he has a lot more resources to work with bc he just goes out and buys shit. but the witch reasoning still stands, they are very similar people in that respect, good at working within a set of restraints so well you don’t even notice the restraints are there

mind rather than light because, tary doesn’t quite hunger after knowledge in the same way. instead he’s much more concerned with the application of it, of how to get from point a to point b as efficiently as possible, and how that benefits him. (also because he’s not nearly as extra as light players. have you met light players? like i love them but jesus christ. who let them be Like That)

#i also have essek and gilmore classpected #but i only have so much writing energy in a day #so we're spacing these out #cr1 #cr thoughts #text #meta #homestuck #classpects #vax'ildan #vex'ahlia #percy de rolo #keyleth #pike trickfoot #scanlan shorthalt #grog strongjaw #taryon darrington

[neuxue]

Who are some of your favorite villains?

Oh man, that is a question, anon. This is not a comprehensive list, because if I started listing every morally corrupt character who owns my soul, we’d be here all night. I’ve also taken a somewhat flexible definition of villainy at times, because…it’s complicated.

Also, spoilers for uh…most of the things listed; I’ve tried to keep it vague where possible, but the nature of villainous arcs means sometimes that doesn’t work. I’ve listed the work before the commentary, so if you don’t want spoilers for the thing, skip that section.

In no particular order…

Lord Asriel and Marisa Coulter (His Dark Materials): okay, so arguably they’re not villains, per se, but they each serve as antagonists at various points, they’re ambitious and proud beyond belief, and their morality is…well. Complicated. (Did I lose my mind at the ‘corruption and envy and lust for power. Cruelty and coldness. A vicious probing curiosity. Pure, poisonous toxic malice […] you are a cesspit of moral filth’ speech, from a corrupt angel to the one deceiving him? Abso-fucking-lutely. Also ‘I wanted you to come and join me. And I thought you would prefer a lie’). They’re also on this list because they were my Formative Villain Faves from the age of 7, which probably tells you something about who I was as a child and who I am as a person.

Nirai Kujen (Machineries of Empire). You really…could not write a villain more My Type if you tried. I’m not sure I could write a villain more My Type if I tried. Immortal, immoral mathematician who traded empathy for the ability to act on it, reconfigured a universe, and has lost most of his humanity but not his sense of beauty? I am but a simple woman. It helps that there is one hell of an enemies/allies/lovers dynamic going on between him and another character who is a different sort of my type, and it’s precisely my kind of Fucked Up Power Dynamics.

Moridin (Wheel of Time): ’Your logic destroyed you, didn’t it?’ I have a whole…thing about villains who see themselves as a kind of anti-Chosen One. I’ve written about it slightly more coherently elsewhere, but it comes down to a particular kind of despair and perception of inevitability, that they have no choice but to fight and that their role is always to lose, and that they will be cast and remembered as the monster, and so there is not reason not to be monstrous, but that doesn’t help with the self-hatred.

Semirhage (Wheel of Time): I could pick a lot of the Forsaken, and one or two other characters from WoT but I’ll stick to two here. Semirhage is all about pain without emotion, and I’m into it.

Malkar (Doctrine of Labyrinths): okay, he’s sort of in the category of scenery-chewing villain you love to hate, but I do love to hate him. And he causes so much delicious pain for the major characters; it’s almost like he’s running a charity service for those of us who like watching our favourite characters hurt.

Aaravos (The Dragon Prince): Listen. Listen. Trapped in a mirror, lost and alone and yet only letting that show in glimpses, possibly a Prometheus figure, graceful and beautiful and terrible, and that voice. Also the entire aesthetic. He is awful, and he is a delight, and he has that kind of cruelty that you can almost forget about - it’s as though he’s so into the villain aesthetic that you almost think it’s just an aesthetic, almost forget how capable he truly is of horrors, and so when he commits them it’s all the more thrilling.

Astrid & Athos Dane (Shades of Magic): The Dane twins deserved better. And by better I mean more screen time. They were criminally underused as villains and they had such potential. Vicious and cruel in a world where to be otherwise is to die, holding power by blood and pain, and chaining another …well, if not villain then certainly antagonist to their will, forcing him to serve the world he wants to save? Which brings us to…

Holland (Shades of Magic): Holland is…arguably not a villain but as an antagonist he is absolutely my type: powerful and ruthless and broken, and yet somehow still fighting; a character whose defining trait is his extraordinary will (and also self-hatred); a character who, literally in canon on the goddamn page, is told ‘no one suffers as beautifully as you’. (Plus he gets a redemption arc! That lets him remain complicated and doesn’t undermine his competence! And while it falls into redemption-equals-death, his death doesn’t come at the turning point in his arc the way it does for so many villains - he gets a whole road-trip first!)

Melisande Shahrizai (Kushiel): oh man. She’s such an interesting character, and the narrative does an excellent job of creating that link between her and Phedre - a really, really compelling and beautiful form of 'you know it’s a terrible idea but you can’t help yourself’. Also, she and Marisa Coulter should never be allowed to meet (by which I mean, I would read that fic). I’m also always here for a female villain who gets to be complicated, who has depth beyond just the typical 'femme fatale’ (though Melisande could certainly claim that title), and who is truly central to the story rather than there to look pretty.

Azula (Avatar: The Last Airbender): For all that I love Zuko, he doesn’t belong on this list, flexible as my definition of 'villain’ here is. Azula, on the other hand…sharp and vicious and a void of anger and fear inside, and if she has to feel that, then the world should too.

Zhao (Avatar: The Last Airbender): It’s at least 85% the voice, and the other 15% is the way he looks at Zuko (I know, I know, I’m sorry).

Rhaegar (A Song of Ice and Fire): Rhaegar’s villainy is…complicated, but he gets a spot here anyway. I have a niche subtype that can be defined as Sad Harpists (Rhaegar, Maglor, Deth, Morgon, Asmodean), so that’s part of it, as is the way he sets that aside out of what he perceives as necessity. But also most of his draw is how he’s this shadow hanging over the entire narrative and yet is himself a void in it; we see so little of him, know so little of him in truth, catch only glimpses and will never know what’s behind them, and every character sees him differently, and he has defined all their lives but we know almost nothing of his. I’m all about identity and choices, and the fact that his are so thoroughly obfuscated but have such a lasting impact on the entire world really does it for me.

Baru Cormorant (The Masquerade): Does she count as a villain? I suppose it depends entirely on whose point of view you’re watching from, which is kind of the point. Regardless, she is so much of what I want from a character, from an author who doesn’t do things halfway. Intelligent and ambitious and utterly ruthless, to both herself and the world she wants to burn down around her.

Delilah Briarwood (Critical Role Campaign 1): any character whose cry of agony and despair takes the form of 'I broke the world for us!’ is a character I’m going to like.

The Lone Power (Young Wizards): mostly because the traditional greeting, upon encountering them, is ’fairest and fallen, greetings and defiance’, and I am a simple woman. But also because they’re the Lucifer figure, in all senses - evil, perhaps, but mostly a necessary embodiment of entropy, one who must exist and must struggle and must always lose, beautiful and bright and terrible, and oh so proud.

Judas (Christian Mythology): He betrayed a guy with a kiss. What more do you want from me?

Rin (the Poppy War): By the end, she makes a very compelling case for herself as a Villain Protagonist and I, for one, am into it. Also, 'genocidal’ gets tossed around a lot when villains are discussed, often without cause, so uh…points to Rin for actually deserving it? (This book is strongly in the category of Not For Everyone, but if it’s your thing…weaponising gods.)

Loki (Marvel franchise & Norse Mythology): so, I have a complicated relationship with 'trickster’ figures and characters, in that I like the idea of them, but tend only to actually enjoy the ones who fall on the darker side of that line they all dance around. Loki, in pretty much all his incarnations, fits that mould.

Achilles (Greek Mythology): Is Achilles a villain? Depends who you ask. But he’s powerful and proud and doomed, and knows it. I just…heroes who go out in a blaze of glory are all well and good, but villains who step up to the flames of their own damnation?

Ruin (Mistborn): It’s funny; I really enjoy a lot of Sanderson’s stories, but by and large he tends not to write my type of villain (which I will forgive him because he gave me Kelsier). But Ruin…starts off like just another godlike semicorporeal villain with absurd power, as you do, and then gets significantly more interesting – and tragic – when you learn the full story. I have a thing for villains who chose their villainy out of necessity (with a side helping of hubris) and become that which they most hated or feared. The ones who look at a razor’s edge and think 'I can walk that’. Who look at power that will consume them and think 'I can control it’. It’s a very specific kind of… arrogant sacrifice, I suppose, and it never ends well and I’m into it every time.

#i feel like i should apologise #but i'm really not sorry for any of these #anyway you asked for it #so now you get to witness my shame #asks #anon #book recs #recommendations #i need a better villains tag

[lostsometime]

Level 9 Blues

I was just thinking, it’s interesting to view Nott’s “what am I doing here” conversation with Caleb mirrored against what was going on in the last campaign around the same time.

When the stream started, Vox Machina was right around level 9.  While they were in the underdark, some of them started to have some existential uncertainties, but having a clear goal seemed to keep them on track.  They continue to have pretty clear goals all the way up through the Briarwood arc, where you start to see the strain - Keyleth’s clearly uncomfortable with being part of a vengeance quest, for example, but the Briarwoods are so gratuitously terrible that it’s unthinkable not to fight them.  It takes until after that arc for them to really have the “what am I doing here” breakdown.  It hits Vax and Keyleth the hardest (and Tiberius, but that’s for external reasons so w/e), but there’s an overall air of who are we, what are our goals, why are we doing this that kind of permeates everybody’s interactions with one another.  Percy has to deal with how he wants to keep adventuring with VM instead of going home to handle Whitestone, and what that means for him.  Keyleth’s worried she’s putting off the rest of her journey too long.  Vax literally asks “what is the point of our lives,” has a breakdown and says “I don’t know what we’re doing, I don’t know why we’re doing it.” In that campaign, Matt pretty much solved their existential crisis for them by nuking their hometown with dragons!  Which does a real good job of giving them a purpose in life!  

But we’re seeing the same kind of strain starting to hit some of the M9, now.  Level 9 seems like it’s where it starts.  You get powerful enough that your actions start to affect the world on a broader scope than just “kill some gnolls, save some kids,” and you look at your choices and ask yourself what you’re doing.  Nott’s kind of in the place Percy was in - her “personal” storyline has just come to a sort of conclusion - obviously, she’s not a halfling again, so it’s not all done, but then, neither was Percy’s.  But for the both of them, they got what they thought they wanted.  For Percy, it was kind of instrumental in rejecting Orthax - “I want my country, I want my sister,” and then he has them and doesn’t know how to deal with it.  Nott wanted Yeza safe and not only is he safe, but he’s more accepting of her current form than she ever dreamed he would be, she could go back and be a housewife again, that’s what she thought she wanted - until suddenly she realizes it’s not.  She developed these adventurer skills out of necessity and survival, but now that she has them she finds that she likes it, and isn’t sure what that means for who she is and what she’s doing.

Fjord’s having his existential crisis, too, and he’s just straight-up refusing to look those questions in the face and deal with them, he’s gonna shove that crisis under the mattress and ignore it for as long as he possibly can.  That’s gonna blow up in his face, probably pretty soon if things keep going the way they have been.  Some of them are managing pretty well - Caduceus had his brief crisis at sea, but now he’s more sure than ever that he’s on a Path and everything’s going according to a Plan and that’s pretty great for finding meaning.  And for Jester, acting in support of her friends, making decisions based on her love for them, seems to be enough for now.  Caleb’s actually doing really well because he’s adopted a new goal - “Let’s end the war!” - and when he has a goal he can hyperfixate on, everything’s great.  Everything they do can be framed as being in service of eventually achieving that larger goal, even the stuff that seems extraneous.  This helps with the goal because we’re getting stronger, or we’ll have more resources, or we’ll make friends who can help us - eventually this will be relevant to the greater goal, and therefore it’s worth doing.  But everyone does have to grapple with that question, eventually, in their own way, and it’s really interesting.

Funny thing, we’re at level 9 in my own home game and we’ve been having a lot of in-character conversations dealing with this same kind of question, of how to think of ourselves and how much is our responsibility.  I guess the first couple of times you save a city or rescue a demigod, you can kind of chalk it up to freak circumstance, but at some point - at least for my character - you need to accept that you’re not just a normal person that is temporarily experiencing some unusual things, anymore.  That this is going to be your life, now.  That the big, world-changing things that important people deal with might actually be your problem.  You might not feel like a hero, but hey, you’re level 9 now, and when bad things happen, people are going to look to you for solutions. 

#cr spoilers #critical role #critrole #meta #my meta #dnd #d&d #dungeons and dragons #abyad #thinky thoughts

[essayofthoughts]

If it was for the ‘greater good’, do you think Percy (during any point in the timeline) would harm/kill a member of the party? Do you think he’d be able to with Vex?

I think Percy's fully capable of hurting people if he thinks it's necessary - it's going to hurt to pull out an arrow so the wound can be healed, for example - but that's not precisely what you're asking and I appreciate the specificity.

I don't think he'd want to harm VM, especially after the Briarwood Arc proves just how ride-or-die they all are. I think he would be capable of it and I think he doesn't like that he would likely be capable of it. Percy could very easily be as awful and Ripley and what sets them apart is that he refuses to be that. He can be cold and he can compartmentalise but he also has morals and he endeavours to stick to them. He loves his friends and he knows very well what they've done for him - and we know the weight he places on honour and keeping one's word; it would not be fitting for him to pay back all their trust and help and love with a knife.

I think the point he's most likely to actually hurt any of VM would be during the Briarwood Arc and it wouldn't be for any greater good - it'd be because they were in the way and Orthax had greater control over him. It is notable in the campaign that he repeatedly made clear that if he hurt any of them, that's not him and they need to intervene. It is notable that, when Vex fell as the magic failed, Percy put off vengeance - maiming Delilah instead of killing her despite the fact he had a kill shot - in order to get Vex out and to safety where she could be healed. Even at his worst, Percy has been shown to prioritise his friends wellbeing over his own personal wants.

If it was a greater good situation, where someone had to be maimed or killed for some other thing - I think Percy would want to discuss it, and I think there's reasonable odds he'd offer to be the sacrifice instead of any of them. His soul has already been chewed on by demons, he's already made guns. He has value as a de Rolo, but as a person... he's pretty shit, by his own metric. I do think he believes his friends have more value than he does, and even if he thinks them equal instead of worth more, he'd want to discuss with them the best course of action, something they choose together. I don't think he'd want to harm or kill them without first ascertaining that there is no other choice and then them discussing who is willing amongst them to pay that price.

I don't think he'd ever want to hurt, harm, let alone kill Vex. I think he would do it if she asked it of him - directly, clearly, and with no space for misinterpretation. I think that's the only way he wouldn't wallow in guilt afterwards, knowing she made the choice herself - because if she didn't choose it, I think he'd rather be the one on the chopping block in her stead.

#percy de rolo #percival de rolo #vox machina #rodneypoo #ask #living up to my username

[jupitersson]

I love ravenclaw scanlan and hufflepuff pike, it fits a lot to me but id love to know your reasoning for the gnomes!

Let’s get to it then! Analysis under the cut for spoilers..... for like, a lot of campaign one lmao

Ravenclaw Scanlan, to begin just because it’s very cut and dry, at least for me. Scanlan is a bard, and throughout every episode, he was shown to be creative and witty, both traits of being a Ravenclaw. He was often the one who cracked jokes to be humorous, but he was also known to have moments of intellect where he became serious and smart. He managed to create a... successful crime ring in Marquet under the moniker of the Meatman, which could arguably be points towards Slytherin, but I still believe his Ravenclaw outweighs this, as it would take a great amount of intelligence (of which his in-game score was 16.)

Now, Pike. I tossed Pike around Hufflepuff and Gryffindor, because we’ve seen many things from our beloved Trickfoot, but I think her standout traits are definitely that of a Hufflepuff.

Loyal: This loyalty is, while a good trait, could also be Pike’s undoing. We see her loyalty to the Trickfoot family when their odd clan of gnomes come across Vox Machina later on stream. Pike was loyal to her family, willing to let them into Whitestone and be kind to them. This, however, led to Pike almost losing a very pricey diamond to her thieving family. Even after this is confessed, Pike, gentle, loving Pike, gives the rest of her purse to the Trickfoots in exchange for them to never be seen by her again, save for JB. This loyalty to her family is baffling, especially in the wake of them trying to trick and deceive her out of a diamond.Hardworking: Pike’s dedication to reconstructing the Temple of Sarenrae in Vasselheim is a very good indication of Pike’s hardworking nature. Another, closely related, one is how Pike would essentially astral project herself to Vox Machina (during times where Ashley was able to be present, but Pike couldn’t just appear out of nowhere physically) during times like the Briarwood Arc. In the midst of building a temple, she felt her friends were in danger, and through sheer force of will, she projected her consciousness to them to be of aid. All of her time spent healing is also a good point towards a hardworking Hufflepuff.

Protective and Caring: These kind of go without saying, but here are some examples of Pike caring for people outside of her regular healing. In Pike’s introduction through the origin video, we learn that Wilhand was captured by goliaths and Grog stood up to them, and then was subsequently beaten. Pike brought him back to life and became his best friend. Another is every time there was a resurrection: the one off of the top of my head is Percy’s after Glintshore. I can’t quite remember the details, but I do know that she was one of the three contributors to the ritual. On top of all of this, Pike has shown that she cares deeply for all of Vox Machina through various discussions (be it post-Vorugal where she and Vax talked about their deities, or through her friendship with Grog, her brief crush on Percy, the friendship with the Girls(tm), etc. etc.)

Thanks for asking!

#critical role #scanlan shorthalt #pike trickfoot #hogwarts houses

[ranjxtul]

Useless Rant About the Briarwoods

So, I’m greatly aware how behind I am with CR having just nearing the end of the Briarwood arc, but nonetheless, here we are, and I love it.

More specifically, I love them as characters. They’re crafted so impeccably so huge huge kudos to Matt (though he’s brilliant so I don’t expect anything bad, the Briarwoods are just stellar). As a whole and individually (specifically Delilah) they have such storytelling potential.

Admittedly, I did spoil myself a bit on their origins preemptively, but I don’t regret it because watching it all unfold with that knowledge is even more fascinating. They’re portrayed as simply evil which is an amazing choice and played through amazingly well. Their journey to that point is what makes them stand out as well as observing the Briarwoods considering grey morality and the thinking of post modernists, or perhaps even taking it back to Arthurian legend for a comparison: no purity on either side (good or evil) can exist. It’s easy to argue that the Briarwoods fall on a dark morality and I agree 100% but I also agree there can be no absolute evil.

For me this is really exemplified through Delilah and her love for Sylas. She went to extreme lengths to bring him back because she could not bear to live without him. Of course I think with her you could argue there’s a line between obessesion and love, but Sylas was her love. She could have escaped the evil, refused Vecna and chosen a different path had she not loved Sylas so much. While her action resulted ultimately in the Briarwoods becoming the pure evil that destroyed Whitestone, it was out of love and despair. That is a wholly good quality and one of the few she explicitly demonstrates.

Yes she is someone we all for some reason adore or love to hate, and we do all acknowledge she’s evil, but based upon that action, consider how she could have been on a personal basis. That in no way redeems her or makes her good, it simply adds a layer of complexity to her character. And pre-Vecna Delilah was arguably not quite the monster she becomes. Her choices turn her into what she is. She is willing to do anything for her love.

This devotion creates as a i mentioned endless avenues for storytelling. It’s impossible to avoid vague spoilers so I know she returns and is in some way Keyleth’s foil which is absolutely brilliant. As foils of each other (presumably) they highlight the polar traits but the similar in essence traits, at least that’s what I imagine. A sort of yin and yang. That’s not well thought out, but, that’s fine currently.

Aside from that, the way their evil is executed is so on parr. They’re intelligent, powerful, manipulative, and the mix of everything perfect villians need to be, making them strangely alluring. They don’t make blunders which is what makes them so fucking powerful and good and it’s refreshing to see such well crafted villians (the complex origin and possibilities for dynamic storytelling is just a plus)

(And not to be a useless lesbian but Delilah Briarwood is hot, like, ma’am, please step on me)

#critical role #delilah briarwood #sylas briarwood

[kimabutch]

JLCR: kimabutch edition

To celebrate somehow reaching 1000 songs on Jam Like Critical Role, the giant fan-created playlist that I’ve been curating since February, I’ve decided to put together a mini-playlist of own, featuring two of my favourite songs for each member of Vox Machina and The Mighty Nein! Each song has a YouTube link, but you can find the whole mini-playlist on Spotify here.

By mini-playlist I meant that there are “only” 36 songs, and also that I’ve pulled out my favourite lines and explained why I associate the song with them, so that this whole thing is approximately 5400 words long. I tried to restrain myself, but, well, Jam Like Critical Role is a testament to my lack of self-restraint. If it helps, I’ve tried to incorporate a diversity of artists, eras, and genres, from folk-punk to techno, country, dream-pop, classical, and beyond. I hope you find something you enjoy.

Grog

We’re Going To Be Friends, Jack Johnson (cover of White Stripes), for Grog and Pike’s incredibly wholesome childhood friendship. While many of the lyrics describe friends at school, which is not totally accurate for them, I can just imagine the two weirdos playing among the bugs:

“Walk with me, Suzy Lee/ Through the park and by the tree/ We can rest upon the ground/ And look at all the bugs we’ve found”

Not to mention Pike teaching Grog his ABCs:

“Tonight I’ll dream while in my bed/ While silly thoughts run through my head/ Of the bugs and alphabet”

I just love these two silly monstahs.

Giant, Juno Reactor: to balance out that last song, have some techno that makes me want to yell “Vox Machina, Fuck. Shit. UP!” and split Kevdak in half with a nat 20 from the sky. Appropriately named for our goliath friend, this song always temporarily convinces me that I, too, am a seven foot tall barbarian (which is not recommended while you are trying to do anything that requires brainpower.)

Keyleth

I Lost Myself, Lauren Mann and The Fairly Odd Folk, for Keyleth’s self-doubt about whether she can do her Aramente (or whether she even wants to) and fear that she’s hurting everyone:

“I’ve got voices in my head Making me think that this is where I end Hey, what do you see, if anything What do you see in me”

This specifically reminds me of her Aramente, and how it taught her so much more than she was expecting:

“You and me we made a plan To travel from here to there and back again Somewhere on that weathered road I found the dreams that I’d been looking for”

And “Hey, we’ve got the world to see/ So let’s forget our anxieties and get on our way” makes me think of Keyleth and Percy’s friendship, and how both of their stories are about trying to figure out what to do once you’ve achieved your goals. I want to think that after the story ended, they were still occasionally able to leave behind their responsibilities and travel the world together.

Take Us Back, Alela Diane, for a post-canon Keyleth, reminiscing on the old days and eventually outliving the rest of Vox Machina. I get a strong image of Kiki coming down from Zephra to see her friends:

“Atop the crags and cliffs the air is thin/ So we’ll find a mountain path on down the hill/ Meet me where the snowmelt flows/ It is there, my dear, where we’ll begin again”

And of her listening to Scanlan’s music, centuries later; they’d be the last two alive: “I’ve a friend who lives out by the river’s mouth/ He knows the fiddle’s cry is an old sound”

And then Keyleth, alone, listening to a river’s gurgle or the wind’s howling, and almost thinking she hears her friends: “Muted voices, just beyond/ The silent surface of what has gone.”

Percival

The Devil Spoke Here, Chicken Little, which I think is actually about the aftermath of a protest, but which I feel works eerily well for Percy’s development following the Briarwood arc. The beginning reminds me of his guilt, feelings of brokenness, and anger issues after he’s cast out Orthax — right down to his guilt about guns:

“There’s bullets in the streets/ and broken dishes on the floor/   enough anger in my heart/   to take the blame for it all/   I could take every bullet back/   if I could never feel like that”

It also covers Percy’s realization, after his conversation with the Raven Queen, that he’s free from the judgment of the gods, and acceptance that he’s the one who has bad thoughts for the greater good:

“I have no god for guidance/ still I’m praying all the same/ may everything I do/ be done for everybody’s gain”

And then this, for a reason that I can’t quite explain, feels so much like Percy’s forgiveness of Ripley at Glintshore, and his death at her hand:

“May we always fail/ with the best of intentions/   with our hearts always pure/   and our souls only human”

Wandering Star, Portishead: the weird trip hop vibe to this song somehow feels appropriate to Percy, and in particular to his darkest thoughts. The song addresses the possible punishments for these thoughts: “Wandering stars, for whom it is reserved/ The blackness, the darkness, forever.” It helps that this is an allusion to a Bible passage about atheists.

The second verse makes me think both of Percy’s relationship to the concept of eternity (because of the “needle’s eye” — a parable about the entrance of heaven for the rich) and his raven mask:

“Those who have seen the needle’s eye, now tread Like a husk, from which all that was, now has fled And the masks that the monsters wear To feed, upon their prey”

Additionally, “Doubled up inside/ Take a while to shed my grief” is reminiscent of Percy’s revelation, in the last episode, that he just really fucking misses his family. This whole time, something inside of him has been curled up into a little ball like the teenager he was five years ago, grieving his family.

Pike

Holy, Jamily Woods: a song about self-love and self-assurance, underscored by Christian imagery:

“Though I walk through the darkest valley I will fear no love/ Oh my smile my mind reassure me I don’t need no one […] Woke up this morning with my mind set on loving me”

Many of the lyrics can be interpreted either as the singer being self-sufficient because her god is there — or being sufficient even beyond her god: “I’m not lonely, I’m alone/ And I’m holy by my own.”

I think both interpretations work for Pike: that she has found (or is attempting to find) peace when she’s not with her friends, or that although she worships Sarenrae, the Everlight doesn’t necessarily interfere in her day-to-day life and she makes her own happiness. Either way, the song makes me feel at peace in the same way that Pike does.

The Otherside, Ohbijou, for Pike’s feelings about Scanlan during the year gap. Particularly, I’m reminded of Pike’s attempts to talk to Scanlan on the earring: “With things left unsaid so unsatisfied/ And a burning to hear your voice just one more time.”

And in these lyrics:

“And it’s so silly for me to worry/ About situations that don’t exist/ We create these problems and try to solve them/ Why waste each passing moment?”

I hear Pike trying to figure out her feelings for Scanlan, but shooting herself down because he’s gone, why even try?

Scanlan

The Pilgrim - Chapter 33, Willie Nelson (cover of Kris Kristofferson), which really encapsulates, for me, Scanlan’s complex relationship with religion: the fact that a guy who regularly produces lightning from his dick, messes with people’s memories, and actively attempts to cultivate a drug habit finds himself praying to the Everlight at night and eventually becomes Ioun’s chosen:

“He’s a poet, he’s a picker/ He’s a prophet, he’s a pusher/ He’s a pilgrim and a preacher/ And a problem when he’s stoned”

The lines “He’s a walking contradiction/ Partly truth and partly fiction” reminds me of all the identities he’s taken on, both for fun and to shield his emotions from his friends, whereas “Taking every wrong direction on his lonely way back home” makes me think of Scanlan’s long road back to Vox Machina after leaving them.

Handle With Care, Traveling Wilburys: almost every single song on this album works for Scanlan, so choosing just one was a real challenge. But this song is so good for all the shit that Scanlan’s been through (and all the shit that he’s been), and his relationship with Pike through all of that:

“Been beat up and battered around/ Been sent up, and I’ve been shot down/ You’re the best thing that I’ve ever found/ Handle me with care […]”

“Everybody’s got somebody to lean on” reminds me of Scanlan’s feeling, in episode 85, that he’s the odd one out in Vox Machina.

The last verse encapsulates Scanlan acknowledging his own fuck ups, working to make them right, and eventually, having a healthy relationship with Pike:

“I’ve been uptight and made a mess/ But I’ll clean it up myself, I guess/ Oh, the sweet smell of success”

Taryon

Father and Son, Cat Stevens, for Tary’s relationship with his father and his decision to leave home; the song is a duet of sorts. I think the father’s part of the song is a little generous for Howaardt Darrington, but retains the message of (somewhat condescendingly) trying to keep his son at home and have him reconsider his far-reaching plans: “I know that it’s not easy to be calm/ When you’ve found something going on.”

The son’s part, though, captures Tary’s frustration with his father’s strictness and inability to actually understand his passions:

“How can I try to explain?/ ‘Cause when I do he turns away again/ It’s always been the same, same old story/ From the moment I could talk/ I was ordered to listen/ Now there’s a way and I know/ That I have to go away”

And the last verse is some real closeted gay feelings that always make me tear up:

“All the times that I cried/ Keeping all the things I knew inside/ It’s hard, but it’s harder to ignore it”

What’s It Gonna Be, Shura, not so much for the song’s lyrics, but for its music video, which is all about falling for a different gender than you expected, and which is incredibly sweet and beautiful.

That being said, you could definitely take the lyrics to be about his crush on Percy and his obliviousness about who in Vox Machina is sleeping with whom:

“Do I tell you I love you or not?/ 'Cause I can’t really guess what you want/ If you let me down, let me down slow”

Vax’ildan

Glorious, Muse, for Vax’s early relationship with faith. He can’t help but feel drawn towards Sarenrae’s light, even as he has doubts and perhaps even anger towards the gods:

Faith: It drives me away/ But it turns me on/ Like a stranger’s love It rockets through the universe It fuels the lies and feeds the curse And we, too, could be glorious”

He wants that glory that he sees in Pike, but he doesn’t know how to approach it or reconcile it with his life experiences. And then he finds his whole world shattered as he’s chosen by the Raven Queen, and he once again has to find faith, though in a way that he never expected:

“I need to believe But I still want more With the cuts and the bruises”

Fields of Gold, Sting: a song from Vax to Keyleth. I can imagine them so perfectly in this scene, perhaps during their year of downtime, with the winds of Zephra blowing through the fields and their hope beyond hope that they’ll be able to stay together:

“Will you stay with me? Will you be my love?/ Upon the fields of barley/ We’ll forget the sun in his jealous sky/ As we lie in fields of gold”

“See the west wind move like a lover so/ Upon the fields of barley/ Feel her body rise when you kiss her mouth/ Among the fields of gold”

Years later, Vax knows that Keyleth will see those fields again and think of him: “You’ll remember me when the west wind moves/ Upon the fields of barley.”

Vex’ahlia

Half Jack, The Dresden Dolls: a truly haunting song about the pain and unavoidability of being her father’s daughter — she’s always half Jill (her mother) and half Jack (her father.) The whole song is incredibly painful for Vex, and the lines:

“It might destroy me But I’d sacrifice my body If it meant I’d get the Jack part out”

always makes me think of “If I could pull the blood of you from my veins and give it back, I would.” Also,

“But if you listen/ You’ll learn to hear the difference/ Between the halfs and the half nots”

reminds me of her asking Percy if she looks like she comes from money — or a younger Vex, in Syngorn, gradually realizing why everyone looked down on her and Vax. Lastly, isn’t “I see my mother in my face/ But only when I travel” absolutely heartbreaking for her?

Fall Down or Fly, Lindi Ortega, only partly because Lindi Ortega strongly resembles my headcanon for Vex. The other part is because of my abiding love for how Vex learned to fly, and how that worked with her character arc: from the first time, in the Briarwoods arc, that she discovered her love for flying, to her flaunting convention and stealing the broom, to Percy modifying it for her, to her friends cheering her on with chicken target practice, and finally to her soaring through the skies with confidence. And the song captures that so well for me, as well as her decision to keep going even when her father, Saundor’s words, and her own self-doubt bring her down:

“This is your life/ You can fall down or fly/ You can burn out a shot if you want/ This is your life/ You can live it or die/ You can quit now or try if you want/ But don’t you give up, don’t you give up”

This also reminds me of how much all of Vox Machina adores and supports Vex (and I will join them in crying about how awesome she is):

“You said what is there to lose?/ Do it if you choose/ I got faith in you/ Everything you do/ I know you are gonna make it to the top”

(I also maintain that a modern Vex would be really into country music, particularly the genre of country song in which women tell people to fuck off.)

Vox Machina

Call Them Brothers, Regina Spektor feat. Only Son, for Scanlan’s departure from Vox Machina and the whole team’s attempts to deal with it. I first heard this song in an absolutely heartbreaking TAZ animatic, and my pain increased exponentially when I realized how much it also worked for Critical Role. It’s perfect, in my opinion, for the sense that their family, which has seen them through so much, is irreparably broken — “That’s it, it’s split, it won’t recover/ Just frame the halves and call them brothers.”

But then you also get “Over and over, they call us their friends/ Can’t we find something else to pretend?” for Scanlan’s insistence that Vox Machina doesn’t really care about him, and “Find your fathers and your mothers/ If you remember who they are” for “what’s my mother’s name?”

Maybe this should go on Scanlan’s playlist, but I think “The hunt is on, everyone’s chasing a shot” also works for the way that the rest of Vox Machina independently searched for Scanlan during their year of downtime… and the feelings of defeat in the song just feel appropriate to the whole group.

(I actually have a playlist full of songs for episode 85, because I enjoy making myself sad; it took a lot of effort not to put them all here.)

Freaks, The Hawk in Paris: I can never decide whether this is a Mighty Nein or Vox Machina song, but I’m putting it here mostly because “If you come along with us, the doors are never ending” is absolutely hilarious in for Vox Machina’s single greatest enemy.

That, and there are a lot of lines that work for individual members of the group: “We have a flair for the shade and the inbetween” (Vax); “We like to run with the wolves from the darker scene” (Keyleth); “When we turn the safety off, the shots are automatic” (Percy); “All our friends tell their friends we’re so dramatic” (Scanlan); and “We’ll make you swoon, make it hurt just a little” (Vex).

Additionally, “We have a plan, we’ve got the means for your liberation/ You’ll only have to blur the lines on a few occasions” makes me think of the Briarwood arc, and I makes me think of Percy dramatically revealing his identity to the priest — and cut to Grog pulling out a guy’s tongue.

Anyways, if I learn to make AMVs by the time that the animated series is released, this will be the first that I’ll make.

Beauregard

Saint Simon, The Shins, for Beau’s escape from the Cobalt Soul. The song expresses frustration at weighty intellectualism and how much it doesn’t teach you — which i think is something Beau felt strongly with her monk teachers:

“After all these implements and texts designed by intellects/ So vexed to find, evidently there’s still so much that hides […] Since I don’t have time nor mind to figure out the nursery rhymes/ That helped us out in making sense of our lives”

So she tries not to care about anything because it’s safer that way (“The cruel, uneventful state of apathy releases me”), and she runs away:

“I’ll try hard not to give in, batten down to fare the wind/ Rid my head of this pretence, allow myself no mock defence/ Step into the night”

I think the last part of the song could also work for her meeting the Mighty Nein and starts understanding friendship and love: “Mercy’s eyes are blue when she places them in front of you/ Nothing really holds a candle to the solemn warmth you feel inside you.”

Jonas and Ezekiel, Indigo Girls, because what kind of lesbian would I be if I didn’t put at least one gay-written song on Beau’s playlist? This one is about road trips, wandering, and looking for a purpose:

“I left my anger in a river running Highway 5 New Hampshire, Vermont, bordered by College farms, hubcaps, and falling rocks Voices in the woods and the mountaintops”

But also contains one verse that I think fits her strict family, her new family in the Mighty Nein, and the “devils” — or tieflings — of which her family would certainly not approve:

“Now when I was young my people taught me well/ Give back what you take or you’ll go to hell/ It’s not the devil’s land, you know it’s not that kind/ Every devil I meet becomes a friend of mine/ Every devil I meet is an angel in disguise”

And something about this reminds me of her journey into Xhorhas and attempts to uncover conspiracies and work out the truth: “In the war over land where the world began/ Prophecies say it’s where the world will end.”

Caduceus

Born at the Right Time, Paul Simon, for Caduceus’s belief in destiny and his place therein. The chorus describes his occasional naïveté, and the happiness of his life in the Blooming Grove, with his family:

“Never been lonely Never been lied to Never had to scuffle in fear Nothing denied to”

And then gets into his conviction that his goddess and the world itself put him where he is:

“Born at the instant/ The church bells chime/ And the whole world whispering/ Born at the right time”

The very chill vibe of the song is also very Clay, to me.

Happy All the Time, Danny Schmidt: the singer himself has said that he doesn’t know whether or not this song is ironic and/or melancholic, so I’m going to go with a sincere and cheerful interpretation for Caduceus, with maybe a hint of nostalgia for more peaceful days among his family. It’s got some incredibly lush and occasionally strange nature imagery that I think is perfect for him:

“I took the time to breathe cause I was happy all the time/ Among the rootbuds and the weeds cause I was happy all the time/ But the peat moss and the leaves took turns with both my feet/ Until my toes took root and I was happy, I was happy all the time”

I think Caduceus is still happy, but he was definitely at peace as a hermit.

Caleb

I Miss That Feeling, Tennis: a song about panic attacks and how the physical effects, when described, almost seem like falling in love. It works not only for Caleb’s panic attacks, but also, relatedly, his relationship with fire, which scares him, even as he likes the way it feels — “Something like pleasure, you’d never believe it.”

The fiery way that the singer describes panic attacks is also very Caleb:

“I miss that feeling/ Flicker hot and hovering/ Like my own discovering/ Eagerly, tenderly/ I miss that feeling/ Flicker spread into an itch/ Into a burn, into a twitch/ Slow and even”

It brings me back to the first time we saw it, in the gnoll mines. Also, “Every little thing starts trembling/ Recorded by the needle of an EKG” feels very reminiscent of his hospitalization, though from a modern perspective.

Putting the Dog to Sleep, The Antlers, for Caleb’s very tentative trust in the Mighty Nein, and in particular his friendship with Beau. I think this song really encapsulates Caleb’s pain and skittishness, especially near the beginning of their campaign, as well as his desperation (unknown even to himself) to love again:

“Well, prove to me I’m not gonna die alone/ Unstitch that shit I’ve sewn/ To close up the hole that tore through my skin/ Well my trust in you is a dog with a broken leg/ Tendons too torn to beg for you to let me back in”

And this feels like something that Beau would say to Caleb — upfront and caring all at the same time, reminding him that his actions affect everyone else and asking him not to run:

“You said, ‘I can’t prove to you you’re not gonna die alone/ But trust me to take you home/ To clean up that blood all over your paws/ You can’t keep running out […] Kicking yourself in the head/ Because you’re kicking me too.’”

By the end of the song, Caleb is starting to believe her, and even asking her to trust him: “Put your trust in me/ I’m not gonna die alone… I don’t think so…”

Fjord

Release the Kraken, The Daysleepers: I added this to Fjord’s playlist back when everyone was speculating that his patron was something kraken-like, and even now that this is clearly not the case, I think it still works for Uk’otoa (Uk’otoa) and his attempts at freedom: “It pulled the ships down/ It’s rising from the deep below.”

But also for Fjord’s relationship with Avantika — for his attempts to get close to her in order to save himself and his friends:  

“Turn the lights down Careful as a serpent’s tongue Move without a sound Gentle as the cold wind moans”

I think “When you sold love/ Your heart becomes a monster” is some of what Fjord felt after those encounters: like he gave part of himself away.

21st Century Child, Daggy Man, for Fjord’s self-hatred and the masks he puts on. Many of the lyrics could fit several characters (particularly Beau, Caleb, and Scanlan), but

“I hate the sound of myself/ When I’m being honest/ Sounds like somebody else/ And I don’t wanna listen/ To the whinings of a 21st century child”

just perfectly captures his feelings about his voice and his past self — weak and whiny, and not who he wants to be. And then we get these lines, which feel like a good summary of his issues with identity and deception:

“And I’ve struggled with how/ Others perceive me/ And I can’t tell if I’m better/ Or just better at deceiving And I’ll keep going until I’m called out”

Jester

The Sweetest Sounds, Ella Fitzgerald (cover of Richard Rodgers), for pre-stream Jester barely waiting for her exciting life to begin. I first heard this song in Rodger & Hammerstein’s Cinderella, and while there is something fairy-tale-like about Jester, I think this upbeat, jazzy cover fits her well:

“The most entrancing sight of all Is yet for me to see And the dearest love in all the world Is waiting somewhere for me”

I can just imagine a 10-year-old Jester listening to the band at the Lavish Chateau play this song, dressing up in Marion’s clothes, and pretending she’s in a storybook romance.

One Hand in my Pocket, Alanis Morissette, which really captures her beautiful complexity:

“I’m free, but I’m focused/ I’m green, but I’m wise/ I’m hard, but I’m friendly/ I’m sad, but I’m laughing”

because Jester is so many things all at once, and none of them negate each other. It’s so hopeful (“What it all comes down to/ Is that everything’s gonna be quite alright”) and comforting (“What it all boils down to/ Is that no one’s really got it figured out just yet”) in a way that really reminds me of my favourite blue cleric.

The whole song has such a fun, free, summer vibe that always makes me smile — just like Jester.

Mollymauk

Carnival Overture, Antonín Dvořák (Leonard Bernstein & New York Philharmonic Orchestra): one of my favourite pieces of classical music ever — when I hear it, an entire music video about a carnival plays in my head. The exuberant theme that bowls you over from the start reminds me of Molly’s effervescent, ostentatious personality.

The slower and quieter part in the middle with the violin and woodwind solos gives me a picture of Molly and Yasha sitting alone in the evenings just outside the carnival encampment, cuddled together — Yasha talking about her wife, Molly telling jokes, and the both of them making up names for constellations and flowers. Then the quick-paced minor section makes me think of the bloodhunter tiefling in combat, deadly with his swords and vicious mockery — before the return to the joyful, triumphant original theme.

Wonderful Everyday, Chance the Rapper & The Social Experiment**: this is sort of a cover of the Arthur theme song, but in the absolute best way possible. The meandering, loose, and extraordinarily happy vocals always remind me of Molly’s way of living.

Although some of the lyrics are more optimistic than Molly (I think he’d laugh at “Everybody that you meet/ Has an original point of view” and say that their points of view are usually bullshit), the message of appreciating every single day is just wonderful for him.

And the last bit hits me like a ton of bricks:

“And when I go down/ I'ma go down swinging/ My eyes still smiling/ And my heart still singing”

“Eyes never shut,” indeed.

**not on Spotify, sorry!

Nott

The Sore Feet Song, Ally Kerr: at first it appears to be a simple song about traveling long distances to find your love, which certainly describes Nott’s search for Yeza: “I walked ten thousand miles, ten thousand miles to see you/ And every gasp of breath I grabbed at just to find you.”

But the second verse is where it really gets into Nott’s thieving, rat-eating, badass ways:

“I stole ten thousand pounds, ten thousand pounds to see you I robbed convenient stores cause I thought they’d make it easier I lived off rats and toads, and I starved for you I fought off giants bears and I killed them too”

I love this strange little goblin.

Fox in the Snow, Belle & Sebastian: this song has always been a bit of a mystery to me, but the lyrics remind me of Nott’s intense vulnerability after she was transformed into a goblin — and in particular her self-image as something animalistic:

“Fox in the snow, where do you go/ To find something you could eat?/ Because the word out on the street is you are starving/ Don’t let yourself grow hungry now/ Don’t let yourself grow cold”

The second verse, which switches to describing a human girl, reminds me of pre-transformation Veth, more acceptable in body but no less socially ostracized than Nott:

“Girl in the snow, where do you go/ To find someone that will do?/ To tell someone all the truth before it kills you/ Listen to your crazy laugh/ Before you hang a right/ And disappear from sight/ What do they know anyway?”

I can just see that exact scene play out with a young Veth, right down to the “crazy laugh.” I’m glad she found Yeza, but she must still have been pretty lonely without any other friends.

Yasha

Into the Barrens, Grizfolk, for Yasha’s years of blank wandering after Zuala’s death. This song fits Yasha so well that for months, I somehow tricked myself into believing that Ashley had put it on her playlist. But I feel like this encapsulates her hopeless feelings, away from all society, not living for anything or anyone:

“Cast me away, my shadow’s cold/ Into the barrens where I will grow old/ Well, I’m not looking for answers/ And I’m not looking for gold”

And I can see this verse for the beginning of her relationship with the Stormlord, following voices she can’t understand as she wanders, barely alive:

“The voices in my head/ They echo in the wind and I begin to sway/ I follow what they say/ I can’t see their eyes, but I hear howling through the haze”

Dreams, Fleetwood Mac: technically a break-up song, but I can’t help but think of Yasha’s ever-present guilt and her memories of Zuala when I hear:

“Listen carefully to the sound of your loneliness/ Like a heartbeat drives you mad/ In the stillness of remembering what you had/ And what you lost”

The storm imagery also works for Yasha — “When the rain washes you clean, you’ll know” makes me think of her fight with the Stormlord on the boat, which allowed her to open up to her friends. And it touches on Yasha’s opaque dreams (“Now here I go again, I see the crystal visions/ I keep my visions to myself”).

(Ally and Stevie also have a lesbian mash-up of Dreams and Rhiannon, two of the gayest Fleetwood Mac songs, that I associate strongly with Beauyasha.)

Mighty Nein

Old Black Train, The Blasting Company (from Over the Garden Wall): trains don’t exist in Exandria (yet! — Percy or Taryon should get on that) but this is more of a metaphor for life. It reminds me of the Mighty Nein setting out from Alfield, not knowing the twists and turns they were going to face, the places they’d go, nor the family they’d become:

“This journey is a long one/ It will take you all around/ Life rushing by your window/ Before it lays you down”

Then there’s this verse:

“Oh come on now young stranger/ Weren’t you someone’s son? How’d you find this depot 'Cause it ain’t where you belong”

which feels very appropriate for many members of the Mighty Nein, separated as they are from their families and wandering in lands that aren’t welcoming to them. There’s also a verse that’s reminiscent of the graveyard they passed on the way to Zadash, which more and more feels like a portent of things to come:

“You will pass a graveyard/ Stones worn by the years/ The train’ll stop a minute but don’t let it leave you here”

Sailing, Leisure Cruise: another song about transportation, although this one is a little less metaphorical. As you can probably guess, I associate it with their adventures on the Mystake and the Ball Eater, which begun by total accident but which, in my opinion, was a turning point for the group, and ultimately helped them grow closer together:

“And to our surprise we’re sailing The high seas in the middle of the ocean […] We’re sailing the wildest mystery And to our surprise we’re happy and free”

Okay, so maybe “happy and free” is a bit of an exaggeration for that arc (particularly for poor Nott) but I think there were a lot of moments in which the Mighty Nein learned unexpected lessons about themselves.

And I think this is a good summary of the Mighty Nein’s modus operandi: seize every passing opportunity, because you don’t know what tomorrow will bring:

“Maybe it’s today Maybe it’s tomorrow But we have to make a play Or the chance will fade away”

And that’s a wrap! Thanks for listening and reading. Love you all <3

#critical role #Cr music #my stuff