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corancoranthemagicalman · 4 years

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Hannibal - Ep1 - Reaction

Okay, so this is starting because of @quartermastercandlestickmaker and @todorokisrose [yes, y’all both gettin’ tagged in the annoouncement and this one. I need to be clear on who is causing my suffering.]

I’m here in this hole now. This dark pit.

This is not a live-blogging of my watch, but I am writing this live. So, writing live posting later. If that makes sense. I’ll have one post per episode and after I’ll compile them all into a master list.

Spoilers ahead.

What a grand opening my dudes. Thrilling music. He’s got that “he fucked up” face going on. WAIT NO HE’S SHERLOCKING THE SHIT. OH COOL. NO WONDER I SAW SOOME FANART OF THEM BEING BFFS. Oh, I like this. Weird effects flex but I dig it.Ooooooooooo I was not expecting that voice. IS THIS WHERE THE “THIS IS MY DESIGN” SHIT CAME FROM WHAT THE FUCK Have I known this more than I thought.

Also low-key bitch *looks* like a psychopath no wonder what is gonna happen happens. Oh rip Mrs. Marlow ;;~;; that was a hard change bro.

I don’t wanna think about ---

BITCH THIS *IS* WHERE THE THIS IS MY DESIGN SHIT CAME FROM OH M Y G O D

Also Laurence Fishbourne god bless I love him.

It’s difficult for me to be social too, fam. LAURANCE WHY DID YOU FIX HIS GLASSES THAT WAS SO WE IR D???? Also bro same I love you, Will Graham, you funky little sociopath.

“Every girl is a candy bar” mhm okay thanks for that. Will and this sociable thing is really fucking me bro minus the serial killer obsession/profession/vibe.

Laurence Fishbourne is an amazing actor but I’m also digging the dude playing Will (srry names are my weakness so his name is Will.)

Oooooo booi. I recognize Katz from fanart she’s a popular one right. But we’re going upstairs.

I’m so worried about opening the door

Oh no

He knew

This bitch been knew

Holy shit

I like the whole thing with eye contact. I’ve seen the gif where it’s mentioned but I like how it’s subtle and not overly emphasized so far. Oh we’re flashing back again. Poor Elise. It’s a super interesting story technique using him as the killer. Also damn bitch “you unstable” you’re such a nosy bitch how were you interrupted when you were asked not to enter

Now everyone is here

Antlers promote healing mhm okay

I wanna hug him but I also don’t want to make him uncomfortable with contact. IS HE STOPPING FOR A DOG OH ,Y HO GOD. I’D DIE FOR THIS MAN. I’D DIE FOR THIS MAN. HE STOPPED FOR A DOG. HEWENT BACK FOR THE DOG OMGH THIS MAN THIS MAN IS,,,,, he adopted a fucking stray dog. This man is lovely. I love this man. This -- HE DOES IT TO MULTIPLE DOOGS OH MY GOD I WANNA MARRY HIM ANDHAVE WINSTON AND EVERYBODY AND OMOG HE’S SUCH A LOVELY STRANGE CREATURE.

Where are we now. In a dream state? OH SHIT WE ARE THAT’S A BODY AND A HEARTBEAT IN MY EAR WHAT THE FUCK ahhhh fun nightmares I love it. Oh shit the towels. Bro. There are quite a few visuals happening.

“USE THE LADIES ROOM” dafsjhg

Stop yelling at him ;;~;;

Woah this is a lot to unpack in this scene you can see Will like slipping omg. It’ss almost unsettling him not having eye contact but like I know the reason for it and therefore it’s just impressive acting and not like unsettling of the actor to do that if that makes sense? I really am impressed by that level of commitment to not have a “look at the camera” to keep showing how he won’t look at other people.

Ooo this is one of the lady psych talkers which is like on the Graham side while the blonde one is for Hannibal, right even tho Hannibal is a brain doc. ALANA that’s her name and that might be how you spell it. She doesn’t want him out there but Laurence needs her to be his back up. (Oh, his name is Jack.) JACK DONT MAKE PROMISES WILL CAN AND WILL GET CLOSE.

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHOW WHAT THE HELL ARE THOSE SHADWS AND THE ANTLERS PIERCING HER OH MY GOD WHAT THE SHIT IS THIS SHOW I THOUGHT THE VISUALS I HAD SEEN IN FAN ART WAS JUST LIKE FANON IMPOSED OMOG “SOMETHING WRONG WITH THE MEAT” O G M OOG HE’S EATING THEM FUCK

Is this

Is this my bitch

MY BITCH MADS OH MY GOD.

I love him. He’s so unconventionally handsome. He looks like he’d kill and eat me but I’d thank him for it, yanno? Oops.

No nonsense MM handing this crying man some tissues I love it. “I hate being this neurotic” omg the mood also Hannibal’s glance to the tissue is fucking amazing??? V Subtle Acting /cries in beauty

Franklyn, the lion isn’t in the room boy (just discovered I might wanna put subtitles on but they’re not working so rip)

Frankie boy got so scared by that comment thanks, Dr. Lector.

Mhm no secretary that’s,,, suspicious,,,, “sad to see her go” mhm okay sure Jan

Oh this bitch does draw oh my god john hopkins internship and all. Laurence is impressed and Mads is “mhm are you gonna try something” sdajkfgh A LAYMAN DAMN aww he’s like “oomg you’re so amazing dr. mr. sir”

OH THEY’RE IN THE SAME ROOM HERE WE GO BBY

FUCKKK IT BEGINS

SORRY HE’S GIVING THE WHOLE DOWNLOW

“Associations come quickly-” “so do forts”

QEFJWahgrsdfdkq WHAT THE FUCK

THIS IS LITERAL THE FIRST DAMN CONVERSATION HE HAS WITH HIM. I KNEW THE CONVERSATION ABOUT EYE CONTACT WAS ONE OF THEIR FIRST, BUT THIS IS THE LITERAL FIRST WITH THE ADDED BONUS OF HE ACTUALLY MAKES E Y E C O N T A C T OOMGGG??!?!?!?!

Oh ;;~;; “YOU WONT LIKE ME WHEN I’M PSYCHOANAYLYZED” im this is very flirtatious als jack you’re like br o

So he’s the King of Empathy. He’s,,, helping Will see his own face,,, mhm,,,,, what does that say about you, Dr. Lector?

He’s mocking where he was apologetic is this maybe noT

FJAGUDIS

SHIT THOSE ARE LUNGS

“HE HAS A DAUGHTER SAME AGE” O H B O Y THAT’S UH DADDY HAS SOME ISSUES WITH BABY LEAVING HOME

Also this is a copy cat dklafjsghjfd OH DAMN THAT SNAP BACK ABOUT DR. LECTOR FFUCKK MAN.

Also,, I can see why this show,, caused issues,,, a man should not look handsome while eating fucking lungs.

More visions I cannot even

What does this

What the hell is this

Dr. Lector showing up at his house o h .

IS HE FEEDING HIM FUCKING LUNGS BITCH OH MY GD ON A FIRST DATE???

“God forbid we become friendly”

“I don’t find you that interesting”

This smells,,, like a ship,,, mhm,,,,

Breath will damn breath slow and use the words omg

Mhm ookay “we’re just alike” in the first bit…

Uncle Jack sees him as a fine china tea cup. That’s hilarious.

“How do you see me?” says Will.

“The mongoose I want under the house when the snakes slither by,” replies Hannibal WHILE WILL IS KEEPING EYE CONTACT.

OH MY GOD. MHM. KAY. IM OKAY. THIS IS OKAY.

So is there a reason -- “plain but pretty” hannibal gives a look -- is there a reason no official officer is accompanying them like????? They’re both not??? FBI????

Damn hannibal spilling shit everywhere.

HE’S USING A TISSUE TO PICK UP THE PHONE

TO CALL HIS DAUGHTER

MHMMMM?????????

Wait no he’s calling someone else

Who is this

OH HE’S CALLING GARRETT. OH. wait is he helping other cannibals get away. What the fuck. You can’t do that, Hannibal. Is there a fuckking cannibal union yall get together and trrade recipes.

OH NO GARRETT MURDERED HIS WIFE AND KID DIDNT HE OH NO

OH PLEASE NO

Wait we’re back to reality

This back and forth is trippy

H N

OH NO

FUCK YU HANNIBAL AND YOUR STUPID FUCKING CANNIBAL CLAN THIS PR WOMAN :(((((((((

I do love how this built up to Hannibal being the cannibal but it was Hobbs. NFIEGSIBFD

HOBBS NO

FUCK HIM UP WILL

(also I guess Will technically is FBI that probably helps lmao)

Oh no

O h n o

Dont whisper at him to see bitch

Oh no

Will

Will it’s

Oh no

>:((((((((((((((((((( hannibal Imma fuck you up

Will honey let someone clean your glasses. Does she survive? I hope the girl survives. The Traitor Cannibal Bitch is going with them. Mhm.

Alana tryin’ to protect him. (Does she like him? I got bad news, babe, he’s gonna fall in love with a man-eater.)

shE SURVIVED??? AND HANNIBAL IS THERE WITH HER???? OMOG??? DOES HE FEEL BAD YET YOU FUCKING BITCH YOU READ THE CANNIBAL WRONG AND HE NEARLY MURDERED HIS FAMILY wait is this chick who everyone calls their daughter oomg??? Is this her????

WHAT WAS THIS SHOW OMG WHAT WAS THIS SHOW

#C's 2020 Hannibal Watch #Hannibal (NBC)#I'm watching this for the first time in 2020 oh my lord #I'm super excited for it #it's very promising #Hannibal spoilers?#do I need to tag for that?#murder husbands #because whoops

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amirosebooks · 5 years

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Dean’s Old Yeller Principle

“He made me so mad at first that I wanted to kill him. Then, later, when I had to kill him, it was like having to shoot some of my own folks. That’s how much I’d come to think of the big yeller dog.”

— Fred Gipson, Old Yeller, Chapter 1 (Published in 1942)

When I was twelve or thirteen my English teacher passed out copies of Old Yeller as assigned reading. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the book, the quote above from the opening chapter tells you most everything you need to know for the context of this meta post. And for those of us who are still emotionally scarred from the damned book, I’m sorry for dredging up those memories.

Now, before I go any further, a disclaimer: Blah, blah, blah, this meta and interpretation of canon is my own. I’m not trying to “preach” to anyone about why Dean “is allowed” to be an asshole while he’s grieving or going through some shit. Or any other argument that consistently gets thrown back in the face of meta posts like this whenever Dean is being an emotional dick. You’re entitled to your interpretations, feelings and reactions, as am I. I’m merely offering this meta to 1) get it out of my mind 2) point and wave about the nods to this classic book that’s traumatized generations of American children 3) cheer Dean on for turning yet another teaching from the “older, wiser generation” John came from on its head.

Groovy? Okay, now we can move on.

I’m gonna throw the rest of this under the cut for length and to keep people who are sensitive to pets / animals dying in really sad ways from having their days ruined by talking more about the book unless they’re good with having that happen.

Now, as I said in my disclaimer bit, Old Yeller is largely considered classic literature here in the states. My memories of it are a weird mix of vague on the details and strong on the emotions it evoked. From what I remember, the main character was a young teenager when his family brought home Yeller. For whatever reason, our main character hated this dog. I don’t remember the details and they’re honestly not important to this meta. The hate he felt toward the dog is important. So is the fact that the hate slowly turned into love and devotion to the dog. Which made it even more gutting when, on a hunting trip (if I remember correctly) Yeller was bitten by a rabid animal and contracted rabies.

At the end of the novel, the Coates family are once again attacked by a wild animal, a wolf, and saved by Yeller’s bravery. Yeller is bit during the attack and becomes infected with rabies. Travis knows that despite his connection to Yeller and Yeller’s protection of his family, the dog must be killed before it becomes fully rabid and does any harm to him and his family. As the man of the house while his father is gone, Travis takes it upon himself to put Yeller out of his misery with his hunting rifle. Travis is heartbroken by what he has done, but knows that it was the right thing to do for his family. (From here.)

Sound familiar? Good. That’s what I thought too when we got the shot above in the graveyard in 14x20.

[Obviously, rabies, once there are symptoms like Yeller had, is incurrable, so putting him down was literally the only option. And we are talking here about Supernatural, which operates on soap opera rules so anything goes, but let’s just roll with the similarities for the sake of argument.]

I remember telling my husband while we were watching it “Dude, they’re really going to Old Yeller Jack, omg.” (I even made fanart of the moment.)

And then, something incredible happened.

Dean threw out the script yet again and set off season 15 with the dull thud of a gun being tossed into the grass.

Now, I hear you. “That’s great, Ami. Why should we care?”

Lemme tell you a thing, friend.

In order to tell you thing thing, I want to take a trip way back to season 4. Back when the brothers were still nose deep into John Winchester’s gospel of Monster = Evil = Kill The Thing.

(Screencaps are all from Home of the Nutty.)

4x21 - When the Levee Breaks

Sam: Stop bossing me around, Dean. Look. My whole life, you take the wheel, you call the shots, and I trust you because you are my brother. Now I’m asking you, for once, trust me.

Dean: No. You don’t know what you’re doing, Sam.

Sam: Yes, I do.

Dean: Then that’s worse.

Sam: Why? Look, I’m telling you-

Dean: Because it’s not something that you’re doing, it’s what you are! It means- Dean cuts himself off.

Sam: What? No. Say it. (Sam has tears in his eyes.)

Dean: It means you’re a monster. (Transcript from here.)

I remember the first time I watched the show and I got to this episode. That fucking line was such a gut punching moment. And it was such an effective and emotional moment that Ruby was able to extend it later to further manipulate Sam.

Now, the screencap I grabbed for this moment is of Dean in tears (well, that single man tear he’s known for) after labelling Sam a monster for a reason. I want to remind all of us of just how much it killed Dean to have to use that label for Sam. To have to try to rationalize that the boy he raised, his brother, the guy who has been there forever and has always been Dean’s charge to take care of is now the thing that Dean is going to have to put down because he falls under the label of monster.

You know what, let’s go back a little farther, to the first episode of season 2. To this moment:

Remember this look? The one we later learned was thanks to John telling Dean that Dean was going to need to put Sam down? That Sam was going to become a monster? Yeah, ouch.

I added the year Old Yeller was published (1942) to the quote at the top of this meta to help give some context about the time it was written and the world it was released into. I’d also like to make note that in 1957 (or about a year before Henry Winchester jumped forward in time to meet the brothers in season 8 and give them keys to the bunker and had to choose to abandon John when John was still a fairly young boy) Disney released a movie version of the book. It’s absolutely, if the movie exists in the SPN world, the kind of thing young John would have watched and taken some kind of black and white moral guidance from.

It’s the kind of book/movie that John would have probably (note, this is where we start diving into my own headcanons for a moment) made sure the boys were aware of when he started thinking about bringing them on hunts to keep them from freezing because the “person” on the other end of their shotgun is someone’s mom. I could see it being the kind of thing he’d use as a way to show them both that, yes, shit is hard but you have to do the right thing and sometimes that means killing the thing you love. At least, I could picture him thinking that way. (Also, this still makes me wonder about exactly how early John started suspecting there was something different about Sam, but that’s a whoooole other post.)

Moving on and forward to season 6.

6x20 - The Man Who Would Be King

Castiel: The angel-proofing Bobby put up on the house – he got a few things wrong.

Dean: Well, it’s too bad we got to angel-proof in the first place, isn’t it? Why are you here?

Castiel: I want you to understand.

Dean: Oh, believe me, I get it. Blah, blah, Raphael, right?

Castiel: I’m doing this for you, Dean. I’m doing this because of you.

Dean: Because of me. Yeah. You got to be kidding me.

Castiel: You’re the one who taught me that freedom and free will –

Dean: You’re a freakin’ child, you know that? Just because you can do what you want doesn’t mean that you get to do whatever you want!

Castiel: I know what I’m doing, Dean.

Dean: I’m not gonna logic you, okay? I’m saying don’t… Just ‘cause. I’m asking you not to. That’s it.

Castiel: I don’t understand.

Dean: Look, next to Sam, you and Bobby are the closest things I have to family – that you are like a brother to me. So, if I’m asking you not to do something… You got to trust me, man.

Castiel: Or what?

Dean: Or I’ll have to do what I have to do to stop you.

Castiel: You can’t, Dean. You’re just a man. I’m an angel.

Dean: I don’t know. I’ve taken some pretty big fish. (Transcript from here.)

This was after two seasons of Cas fighting by their side. Two seasons of Cas giving heaven the middle finger on behalf of the Winchesters. It was enough time for Dean’s first reaction in a time of confusion on a hunt was to call Cas for help. And it was enough time for Dean to go from assuming Cas was a demon summoned with “bad mojo” to drag him out of hell on behalf of Sam to genuinely starting to care about Cas.

Dean did threaten to take Cas out here if he persisted down the path he was on, but you can tell by the rest of the conversation and just how hard it was to convince Dean that Cas was lying to them that Dean was hoping talking would work and he wouldn’t be forced to put Cas down.

Unfortunately…

6x22 - The Man Who Knew Too Much

Castiel: You doubted me, fought against me, but I was right all along.

Dean: Okay, Cas, you were. We’re sorry. Now let’s just defuse you, okay?

Castiel: What do you mean?

Dean: You’re full of nuke. It’s not safe. So, before the eclipse ends, let’s get them souls back to where they belong.

Castiel: Oh no, they belong with me.

Dean: No, Cas, it’s it-it’s scrambling your brain.

Castiel: No, I’m not finished yet. Raphael had many followers, and I must punish them all severely.

Dean: Listen to me. Listen, I know there’s a lot of bad water under the bridge, but we were family once. I’d have died for you. I almost did a few times. So if that means anything to you… Please. I’ve lost Lisa, I’ve lost Ben, and now I’ve lost Sam. Don’t make me lose you too. You don’t need this kind of juice anymore, Cas. Get rid of it before it kills us all.

Castiel: You’re just saying that because I won. Because you’re afraid. (Behind him, Sam picks up the angel killing sword.) You’re not my family, Dean. I have no family. (Sam stabs Castiel in the back with the angel killing sword. Sam groans. Nothing happens. Castiel pulls the sword out. There’s no blood on it. He puts it down.) I’m glad you made it, Sam. But the angel blade won’t work, because I’m not an angel anymore. I’m your new God. A better one. So you will bow down and profess your love unto me, your Lord. Or I shall destroy you. (Transcript from here.)

Again, Dean tried to argue with the overpowered angel, he tried bargaining, pleading, and appealing to Cas’s fondness for them, but it didn’t work. Sam was the one who was forced to try stabbing Cas and it… also didn’t work.

7x01 - Meet the New Boss

Sam: Dean, look, I know you think that Cas is gone –

Dean: It’s 'cause he is.

Sam: He’s not! He’s in there somewhere, Dean. I know it.

Dean: No, you don’t.

Sam: No, I don’t. But, look, I was pretty far gone sometimes myself, and never gave up on me.

Dean: Yeah, and it turns out that you’re about the Same open book as you’ve always been. Hallucinations? Really? I got to find out from Death?

Sam: What was I supposed to do?

Dean: How about not lie? How about tell me that you’ve got crazy crap climbing those walls?

Sam: Why? You can’t help. You got a lot of pretty severe crap swinging your way lately, and – and I thought –what? I thought why burst the one good bubble you had left? It’s under control.

Dean: What? What, exactly, is under control?

Sam: I know what’s real and what’s not.

Dean: Sam –

Sam: Dean, look, we can debate this once we deal with Cas.

Dean: Yeah, you know how I’m gonna deal? I’m gonna stuff my piehole, I’m gonna drink, and I’m gonna watch some Asian cartoon p**n and act like the world’s about to explode because it is. Hey. You got to be kidding me. “Massacre at the campaign office of an incumbent Senator by a trench-coated man.” There’s security footage. Well, I think reaching Cas is, uh… out of the cards. (Transcript from here. And hopefully my slight censoring the last paragraph keeps tumblr from blacklisting this post into the aether…)

Here’s a sad thought for you, how often do you think–while Cas was terrorizing the country as Godstiel and, later, after he walked into the lake and exploded into Leviathan goo–Dean thought about how he should have listened to Bobby and Sam and taken Cas out before he had the chance to swallow the Leviathans and become super powered? Probably a lot, I’d guess.

This moment, as much as I, personally, hate seasons 6 and 7, went pretty damn far to reinforce this Old Yeller principle in Dean’s moral code.

He had to sit back and watch, literally, while someone he cared about went out of their goddamn mind with power while killing and terrorizing people. He had to do that knowing that there was a moment when he could have done something to prevent it. He could have killed Cas when he had him locked up in the ring of holy fire and they were having one of their many breakup moments.

Dean felt like he could have stopped all of this, but he’d been weak and tried talking it out first instead. And you can’t convince me that he didn’t check the news and every drop of blood Godstiel brought about to the blood on his own hands because of that choice to give Cas a chance to see reason.

10x09 - The Things We Left Behind

CASTIEL: How are you, Dean?

DEAN: Fine. [Cas gives him a look.] I’m great!

CASTIEL: No, you’re not.

DEAN: Yeah, well, I lost the black eyes, so that’s a plus. But I still have this. [Dean reaches over and gently slaps the Mark on his arm.]

CASTIEL: Is the Mark of Cain still affecting you?

[Dean flashes back to his dream from earlier, of the blood covering him, the dead bodies lying around him.]

CASTIEL: Dean?

[Dean blinks hard, coming back to the present.]

DEAN: Cas, I need you to promise me something.

CASTIEL: Of course.

DEAN: If I do go dark side, you got to take me out.

CASTIEL: What do you mean?

DEAN: Knife me. Smite me. Throw me into the freakin’ sun, whatever. And don’t let Sam get in the way, because he’ll try. I can’t go down that road again, man. I can’t be that thing again.

(Transcript from here.)

I may hate seasons 6 and 7, but holy damn do I love season 10. I know it’s not a favorite among many people in the fandom, but it’s one of mine.

This moment, this burger date of sadness and pain, is a big favorite for me. Dean sees the writing on the wall. He’s been a Knight of Hell now. He’s been as darkside as he can get. He’s, likely, being reminded daily of his time in Hell in the last ten years of his stay there where he was torturing souls. And he’s begging Cas to keep him from returning to that place. He’s begging Cas to adopt the Old Yeller principle because he sees it as the only option left if the mark consumed him again. And that kills me.

Let’s take another jump forward to season 13, where Dabb & Co really started putting Dean’s Old Yeller principle into text in a heavy, purposeful way.

13x02 - The Rising Son

SAM Dean, wait a second. (Sighs) The kid came through for us today. Jack saved us.

DEAN No. No, whatever that was, that was a reflex. It was a sneeze. Maybe next time he sneezes, he kills us. Good night.

[DEAN hears a clacking sound coming from a distance. He follows the noise to JACK’s room.] JACK Ah!

[DEAN finds JACK trying to stab himself with a blade. The wounds immediately heal.]

DEAN Okay. What the hell? (he gets in the room) Give me that. You—Don’t be an idiot. Look, A, this is not gonna do anything to you, okay? And B, you… What the hell?

JACK Exactly. What the hell am I? I can’t control… whatever this is. I will hurt someone.

DEAN You know, my brother thinks you can be saved.

JACK You don’t believe that.

DEAN No, I don’t.

JACK So… if you’re right?

DEAN If I’m right… and it comes to killing you… I’ll be the one to do it.

[DEAN leaves.]

(Transcript from here.)

Can I just bask in the glory of the grieving widow!Dean arc from the beginning of 13 for a moment? I’d also like to take a moment to 🙌 Jack for being a wonderful Team Free Will mirror (and mimic) from the word go.

Ahhh…

Okay, moving on.

I loved this bit in 13x02 so much. Partially because it’s such a heavy handed foreshadow to 14x20, but also because it shows so clearly how good Jack is at reading the emotions in the room. He’s, like, three days old at that point, but he’s already having an existential crisis about whether or not he’s evil. He already understands (yes, thanks to jackass grieving widow!Dean…) the whole Monster = Evil = Kill The Thing.

He also shows that he understands the Old Yeller principle. And, for better or worse, he and Dean reach an unspoken agreement here about it. (Again, this is my reading. Your mileage may vary.)

13x04 - The Big Empty

JACK I’m afraid.

MIA/KELLY Why? Why are you afraid?

JACK Sam thinks you were right, that—that I’m good. He wants me to believe it, and I wanna believe it, too. It’s just, I… I’ve hurt people. I didn’t mean to. It was an accident. And I know I should feel bad, and I say I feel bad, but most of the time, I mostly… I don’t feel anything. And that’s why I think maybe… Maybe I’m a monster.

MIA/KELLY Jack. It doesn’t matter what you are. It matters what you do. And even monsters can do good in this world.

JACK You really believe that?

MIA/KELLY I have to. I have to.

[MIA hugs JACK again.]

(Trancript from here.)

Killing me would be kinder than subjecting me to these feelings so soon after being introduced to this fucking character. Omg. Poor Jack.

Now, yes, a huuuuge part of Jack’s opinion of monsters and the whole “What do we do with monsters children? That’s RIGHT, we kill them.” thing is because Dean is an asshole when he’s emotional and grieving and deep into survival mode.

But, that doesn’t change the fact that Jack is still worried about the fact that he doesn’t feel things the way that everyone else seems to. That he has powers no one, including him, can understand. And that he’s killed people without meaning to. He’s afraid of himself just like Dean was afraid of what he was capable of if the mark took him over again.

13x23 - Let The Good Times Roll

(Sam continues down the hallway while Dean turns to another hallway and approaches his bedroom door. He stops as if to listen to something and then continues down the hall, away from his bedroom door. He enters Jack’s room, where Jack is sleeping and talking in his sleep)

JACK Stop! No!

DEAN Jack? (Dean touches Jack’s shoulder to wake him) Hey. (Jack jumps up, anxious and disoriented. Dean holds out his hand towards Jack to calm him) Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Easy. You’re just having a bad dream.

JACK (breathing heavily) Sorry.

DEAN It’s okay. You don’t have to apologize. I have 'em, too. All the time.

JACK You do?

DEAN Sure.

JACK You, um… What do you see?

DEAN Well, depends. Mostly…mostly people I couldn’t save.

JACK Me, too. Over there in the other world, I said I’d protect those people. But…I saw so many of them die. And…I tried to save them. I…I tried, but… I’m sorry. I wasn’t strong enough.

DEAN Jack… (Dean sits on the edge of Jack’s bed) it’s not about being strong. I mean… Look, I don’t know what you saw over there, and I don’t know what you went through. I know it was bad. But I also know that you came out the other side because you are strong. But even when we’re strong, man, things are gonna happen. We’re gonna make mistakes. Nobody’s perfect. Right? But we can get better. Every day, we can get better. So whatever you’re dealing with, you know, whatever…whatever comes at us, we’ll figure out a way to deal with it, together. You’re family, kid, and we look after our own.

(Transcript from here.)

It’s not about being strong. IT’S NOT ABOUT BEING STRONG.

This is where we veer away from Old Yeller a tiny bit because, again, in the book Yeller had rabies which they could do nothing about.

The moments I’ve highlighted in this post all come back to one motivation. The overpowered person/angel/asshole in question was trying to gain enough strength through supernatural (lol) means in order to have the power to destroy a (perceived) bigger threat than whatever the cost was to get that power.

Sam’s demon blood drinking was supposed to give him the power to destroy Lucifer and get revenge for Mary and John and their lost childhood. It went badly and earned Sam the label of monster and falling, at least temporarily, into the territory of the Old Yeller principle.

Cas started lying to the brothers and working with Crowley so they could gain the power to stop heaven from starting yet another apaocalypse. Cas wanted to keep the Winchesters (Dean) safe from being destroyed in a holy war after being forced to fight his brother to the death. Again, this did not go well and lead to Cas succumbing to the Leviathans’s power and dying front of Dean after losing the Winchester’s trust.

Dean took on the Mark of Cain to defeat Abaddon, the evil that made John grow up without a father. It left him torn between going on a, essentially, soulless killing spree or becoming a Knight of Hell… again.

Hell, even the way Jack came into the world was fraught with Sam lying to Dean about working with the BMoL to have the power and strength to defeat Lucifer/the nephilim. Not to mention the months of lying Cas did after he decided that Jack’s power and strength was the only way they could destroy Lucifer once and for all. Again, this ended with Cas dying in front of Dean and the BMoL trying to exterminate everyone including the American hunters.

That’s the lesson Dean is trying to instill (hypocritically, let’s be honest) to Jack here. Strength and power come at a terrible cost and if you can solve a problem without resorting to that level of fuckery that things will be better.

And, also, that if things do go bad, that Jack is family and “we look after our own.” To Dean, this is where the Old Yeller principle kicks in. It is, in a rather fucked up but well earned way, the best option he knows for making sure another one of his loved ones doesn’t fall under that monster label. That none of them end up with more blood on their hands or bringing about the end of the world, again, because of their soap opera problems.

13x23 - Let The Good Times Roll

JACK I’m sorry.

(Jack walks towards the exit and Castiel goes to follow him)

CASTIEL Jack!

(Dean grabs Castiel’s arm)

DEAN No, hey, just – just let him go.

(Jack is walking through the woods, banging a closed fist into his hand and punching his shoulder)

JACK You keep hurting people! You keep… (Jack flashes back to all the people he has hurt with his powers – Nate, Sam, Dean, the female police officer) hurting… (flash to the male sheriff) (yelling) Why do you keep hurting people?!

(Transcript from here.)

This lesson, the lesson of power and strength not being the best answer because of the cost it comes with is not an easy one to learn. Especially when you were born as a superpowered, emotional Winchester by adoption. Life is scary when that’s the hand you’ve been dealt and using the power you have is an appealing balm to combat that fear.

13x23 - Let The Good Times Roll

JACK (moving towards Lucifer, eyes glowing and hand outstretched)Tell me the truth!

(Lucifer’s eyes start to glow, his head tilts to the side and he starts speaking)

LUCIFER She saw me when I was scouting out the bunker. She saw me and she screamed, and then…so I crushed her skull with my bare hands. And it was warm and wet, and I liked it.

(Lucifer’s eyes return to normal and he looks confused)

JACK You’re not my father. You’re a monster.

LUCIFER (yelling) Come on, man! (Lucifer bellows so forcibly that Sam and Dean cover their ears, his eyes glowing red) Okay. I tried with you. I really tried with you.

JACK Everything you told me was a lie.

LUCIFER Because I told you what you wanted to hear, man. So what?! I killed the girl! Big deal! She’s a – she’s a human! She doesn’t matter!

JACK So am I!

LUCIFER Yeah? And that’s your problem. (pointing at Jack) You’re too much like your mother.

(Transcript from here.)

To me, this moment reads as Jack embracing that black and white Winchester thinking. He has yet (even now that’s he’s currently dead in season 15) to grasp the concept of people being morally gray. He sees himself as either embracing the monster side of himself from his bio dad or rejecting that side of himself to embrace Kelly’s human side. The side that can’t hurt people on accident. The side that makes him more like the Winchesters. Because he doesn’t want to fall under than monster label. He doesn’t want to fall under that Old Yeller principle. He doesn’t want to hurt so many people that he will have to die because neither he or anyone else can control him.

Yes, this moment is FAR more complicated than just that, but it’s definitely part of it.

14x10 - Nihilism

DEAN Sam said that one of your reapers really came through with the assist. I’m thinking that was probably you.

BILLIE Don’t tell anyone.

DEAN You broke the rules.

BILLIE I took a calculated risk. I warned you about the dangers of jumping from world to world. But you ignored me, didn’t you?

DEAN Rescuing Mom and Jack, helping out those other folks – I’d say it was worth it.

BILLIE And just look at you now. Do you remember visiting my reading room? The shelves and shelves of notebooks describing the ways you might die?

DEAN Yeah. Upbeat classics.

BILLIE Well, it’s the funniest thing, but they’ve all been rewritten. They all end the same way now – with the archangel Michael escaping your mind and using you as his vessel to burn down this world.

DEAN All of them?

BILLIE All of them. Except one.

(Billie hands Dean a book. He opens it and then looks at her, stunned)

DEAN What am I supposed to do with this?

BILLIE That’s up to you.

(Dean looks at the book again and when he looks up, Billie is gone. He looks back at the book and then looks around, a mixture of fear and confusion on his face)

(Transcript from here.)

Remember what I said about Dean being well aware of the price that has to be paid in exchange for the power and strength to defeat supposedly unbeatable enemies?

Yeah… Dean “knows” that the time has come for him to call his own bluff. The one from all the way back in 10x09 (not that he was bluffing then, but he didn’t have to take action on it then) when he asked Cas to take him out. “Knife me. Smite me. Throw me into the freakin’ sun, whatever.”

We didn’t know that was what this moment was until the next episode. But this is the moment when the Old Yeller principle went into effect again. And you can see how much it hurts Dean, how resigned and heartbroken he is over it.

14x11 - Damaged Goods

DEAN It’s a Ma’lak box. [DEAN closes the door to the box. He and SAM are standing over it.] Secured and warded. Once inside… nothing gets out, not even an archangel. Especially an archangel.

SAM Yeah, yeah, yeah. I’ve – I’ve read about these, but – but no one’s ever – they’re impossible to build.

DEAN Yeah, well, not so much.

SAM That’s your plan? You want to be buried alive?

DEAN Buried’s not safe enough. Plan is, pay a little hush money, charter a boat to take me out to the Pacific. Splash.

SAM You and Michael, trapped together – for eternity?

DEAN Yeah.

SAM You do realize how insane this is, right?

DEAN It’s the only sane play I’ve got. Michael gets out, that’s it for this world. And he will get out.

SAM Well, how do you know that for sure?

DEAN Because I do. Because I can feel him in my head. That door is giving. I can feel it giving.

SAM But there has to be another way.

DEAN There’s not, okay? There – Sam you’ve tried. Cas has tried. Jack… And I love you for trying. But none of it’s gonna work.

SAM We don’t know that.

DEAN Yeah, we do.

SAM What?

DEAN Billie.

SAM Billie?

DEAN She paid me a little visit. She said that there’s only one way this ends right. And this is it. This, right here, this box. So, she gave up the special recipe, and all I had to do was the work. It’s fate.

SAM Since when do we believe in fate?

DEAN Now, Sam. Since now.

(Transcript from here.)

Here is the moment. The one where Dean was at his absolute lowest. When he hit that point where resignation about his fate met having to act on his principles.

14x12 - Prophet and Loss

DEAN Well, I will call this a win. Kinda nice. Going out on a high. SAM “Going out” being the operative phrase. DEAN Sorry. SAM “Sorry.” How sorry are you? Sorry that you fight to keep Donatello alive, but when it comes to you, you just throw in the towel? Or are you sorry that, after all these years, our entire lives, a-after I’ve looked up to you, after I’ve learned from you, I-I-I’ve copied you, I followed you to Hell and back… are you sorry that all of that it – it – it means nothing now? DEAN Who’s saying that? SAM You are, when you tell me I have to kill you. When you’re telling me that I have to just throw away everything we stand for, throw away faith, throw away family. We’re the guys who saved the world. We don’t just check out of it! [SAM pushes DEAN.] DEAN Sam, I have tried everything. Everything! I got one card left to play and I have to play it. SAM You have one card today! But we’ll find another tomorrow. But if you quit on us today, there will be no tomorrow! You tell me, uh, you don’t know what else to do. I don’t either, Dean. Not yet. But what you’re doing now, i-it’s – it’s wrong! It’s quitting! I mean, l-look what just happened. Donatello never quit fighting. So we could help him because he never gave up. [SAM moves closer to DEAN.] I believe in us, Dean. [DEAN doesn’t say anything. SAM gets angry and punches DEAN in the face.] I believe in us. [SAM tries to punch DEAN again, but he stops him.] DEAN Hey, hey, hey, hey! [SAM hugs DEAN.] SAM Why don’t you believe in us, too? DEAN Okay, Sam. Let’s go home. SAM What? [SAM pulls away from the hug.] DEAN Let’s go home. Maybe Billie’s wrong. Maybe. But I do believe in us.

(Transcript from here.)

And just like Dean predicted in 10x09, Sam was able to talk him out of sacrificing himself. How was he able to do that? By reminding Dean that they were the fucking Winchesters. They fucked with the cosmic balance constantly and always, always found another way. A way to avoid the Old Yeller principle. A way to live and fight again.

Which, they totally did, but the price of not throwing Dean into the ocean for an eternity of alone time with alt!Michael banging away in his head was their adopted child.

14x20 - Moriah

JACK: You’re not gonna lock me up again, are you?

DEAN: No.

(Dean raises the gun, aims at Jack and exhales deeply. Jack kneels down and bows his head. Dean, looking puzzled, lowers the gun and walks closer towards Jack. When he’s right in front of Jack, he aims the gun directly at his head. At this moment Sam comes speeding into the cemetery, car tires screeching. He gets out of the car and starts running towards Dean and Jack)

SAM: Dean? Dean!

JACK: (to Dean) I understand.

(Sam is still running, yelling for Dean. The music is getting more suspenseful as Dean holds his aim steady at Jack)

SAM: Dean, don’t! Dean? Dean!

JACK: I know what I’ve done.

SAM: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, Dean! Hey, hey, hey! Dean!

DEAN: Stay back, Sam!

SAM: (Panting)

JACK: And you were right all along. (Chuck comes up alongside Sam) I am a monster.

SAM: (to Chuck) Do something. … You’re enjoying this.

CHUCK: Shh.

(Dramatic music plays)

(Dean cocks the gun. He looks Jack in the eye for several seconds and then slowly lowers the gun. At this point, Castiel also comes running towards the area)

(Dean uncocks the gun and tosses it to the side)

(Transcript from here.)

I have yet to rewatch this episode, but from what I remember I don’t think it had completely sunk in to Dean in that moment of choice that Chuck was there revealing that he was invested in the outcome of this showdown between Dean and Jack. In that moment, that split second of choice between following through with what he’d believed for so long for following through with an extension of the order John gave him about Sam back in the hospital back in 2x01, Dean made a choice for himself. And that choice was to believe that they’d find another way. He decided that when it came right down to it, he couldn’t kill his child for making the same bargain for power and strength that he himself had made multiple times over the last 14 seasons.

He was also directly confronted with a similar situation to that from the end of season 6 and beginning of 7 with Cas and the Leviathans, in that when it really came down to it, he wasn’t capable of murdering someone he considered family.

And then Chuck had to go and erase any chance they had in following up on that. He killed Jack so that they didn’t have a chance to find a way to help Jack balance the power he’d absorbed from destroying Michael or living without his soul.

So yeah, from where we sit now with only one episode of season 15 under our belts waiting with baited breath to see where the rest of this end of the road season takes us, it makes sense that Dean, of all people, would be in the middle of an emotional fucking collapse. And that he would be a huge, whiny, pissbaby douchebag about it because that’s the Dean Winchester way.

Does that make his behavior okay? No, of course not. But does that turn any of the rest of them into saints? Nope, of course not. And I, personally, wouldn’t have it any other way. I like that they’re flawed and fucked up and keep getting back up and going back to each other and keep trying. That’s why we’ve had 15 goddamn seasons of this. Because it’s what they do.

#15x01 #spn spoilers #spn parallels #jack kline #dean winchester #spn meta #season 15 #jack the nougat nephilim #my spn meta #tumblr mobile ate this post the first time i tried posting it but it was in the cache on my laptop so it's back!

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purplesurveys · 4 years

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747

Have you ever worn those Drunk Goggles? Uh no. I’ve never heard of those either. Which decade before the 90s had the best makeup trends? I’ve never really paid attention to makeup. I do love how actresses looked like in the 40s and 50s though, if that counts. Can you agree to disagree, or usually get upset over conflicting views? I only get upset if someone’s views implies impinging on basic human rights, like saying that women can’t get abortions or if drug addicts deserve to die. Otherwise you do you dude. Does it bug you when long socks are constantly falling down? Yeaaah I had a pair of loose socks in high school that would constantly fall down whenever I walked and I hated them. I always forgot to stop wearing them completely. Rodeos -- entertaining, or cruel? I can honestly tell you that I don’t know what goes on in one of them. I’m not even sure if rodeo refers to a sport, a physical area, or an event.

Why can't politicians debate politely? Because most of them aren’t even supposed to be fucking politicians, if you’re also from where I live. Who is the best female rocker? Why? Joan Jett, partly because she’s one of the very few female rockstars I know but also because I know she’s the best one out of all the ones I know of. I love her work both for The Runaways and the Blackhearts. Can you even taste a difference between Cheez Its and Cheez Nips? I’ve only had Cheez Its. What about between Pepsi and Coke or Sprite and 7Up? No, all soda tastes nasty to me. Do you care what kind of toilet paper you use? Not really. What color of roses do you find the prettiest? Gonna go the basic route and say red. It just feels the most romantic. Which celebrity has the cutest butt? I don’t go looking at their butts and thinking which one is the cutest D: Do you still have any decent arcades nearby? Yeah we have an arcade chain called Timezone and all of the ones I’ve been to are really fun and entertaining. Gab and I will sometimes go to one after school for some stress relief. After a holiday, do you go to the store to get candy on sale? No. That doesn’t happen here and eh, I don’t really like candy. Did Marilyn Monroe look better before or after cosmetic surgery? I didn’t even know she had surgery, but I’ve always thought she was attractive. Bullfighters who get gored kind of had it coming, right? Yes. I’ve never really felt bad for them even if I see them being tossed around like fucking paper. Don’t they agitate the bulls on purpose? I get stressed out just thinking about it. If you make surveys, do you care what people rate them? Have you ever accidentally found porn when looking for something else? Maybe once or twice in the past, but it was unremarkable enough for me not to remember them until today lol. Ever run into those 'celebrity lookalike porn' blogs? No? If you're not religious, is the Bible basically just an old collection of short stories? Not all are short stories. Some are psalms, songs, prophecies, etc. But they are short stories, psalms, songs, and prophecies that I don’t believe in. Do you think religious leaders just like to manipulate people? Yes. At least the ones I come across do. The amazing priest from today’s mass livestream was bitching in his homily about why liquor stores continue to be open but masses couldn’t be held. Uh genius, maybe it’s because masses are public gatherings, and because you never see a hundred people at a time gathered in a liquor store? Couldn’t resist an eyeroll when I heard it. Why do so many fans with OTP's insist that their ship is real? Oh my god OTP, I haven’t heard that term since 2013... sometimes they just like the idea of their ship being together forever and ever and it makes them happy so whatever, let them fangirl/boy. This was me with AJPunk many years ago hahaha; we were just lucky enough to witness them become canon in real life. Even when the writers (or real people that they ship) tell them it isn't? ^ Same reason. Some people are happy from simply fantasizing their OTPs. It should be ok as long as it doesn’t strain the relationship between the shipped people, which is exactly what happened to Louis and Harry of 1D lol. Do you draw fanart of anything? No. Do annoying city kids ever loiter outside your library and harass people? No? That’s so specific lmao. Do you like to hang out at your local library? We don’t have local libraries because our government has never prioritized public spaces such as those, and parks. We only have malls. On that subject, do you like the smell of books? New ones, yeah. I can’t stand the smell of much older books. What's on your Reading List, so-to-speak, right now? Read any great non-fiction books lately? No. But thanks for reminding me I downloaded a bunch of wrestling autobiographies last year that I completely forgot about until this moment. Maybe I’ll start on one of those one of these days. What do you like on your burger? Caramelized onions, special sauces, brioche buns, sometimes jalapeños, sometimes bacon. What do you NOT like on your burger? Tomatoes and lettuce. Do you like 'loose meat' sandwiches? I’ve never heard of those. Have you ever heard of the restaurant Maid Rite? Never have. What is the best thing to put in a grilled cheese (other than cheese)? I don’t really have grilled cheese sandwiches. Homemade tomato soup, or just out of a can? Hate tomato soup. Favorite thing to see in museums? Artifacts. I love all museums, but I enjoy and appreciate history museums more than any other kind. Have you ever seen an unwrapped mummy in person? I haven’t. What things have people shamed you for? Liking wrestling, mostly. I was also shamed for my name and the way I looked (I had really short hair) as a kid, which is why I struggled to like my name until I got to college which was the first time people didn’t make a fuss about my name and even told me how much they like it. Do you always reply to private messages? (On any website) Not all. If I don’t recognize who sent it, I wouldn’t bother to reply. What device do you seem to always be buying batteries for? We don’t really go out to buy batteries anymore. Most of our gadgets are rechargeable. What's worse -- snow, or all the mud after it melts? Can’t relate. Are there any 'adult stores' in your area? I don’t think so. If there are, they’re hidden enough that I don’t know about them. Have you been inside of them/shopped there before? Yeah we went to one in Metrowalk. It was fun but I mostly felt uncomfortable hahaha. Do you watch The Masked Singer? Any theories? No. Favorite Alfred Hitchcock film? Haven’t watched any. I tried watching Vertigo once but if I remember correctly, I stopped because my copy didn’t have subtitles and I couldn’t follow the plot lol. Do you like Funko Pop figurines? Sure. I’m much less enthusiastic about them now for sure, but back in high school I used to want to start collecting them so bad. If so, do you have any? Which ones would you like to have? No but I’ve bought one as a gift once. I got Gabie the Funko figurine of Dana Scully from The X-Files for Christmas 2015. Which ones do you think they should make (but haven't yet)? I dunno if they’ve made ones for them but the cast of Queer Eye should definitely get their own.

#survey #surveys

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jellybeanbeing · 4 years

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Call Down the Hawk by Maggie Stiefvater

Synopsis:

The dreamers walk among us . . . and so do the dreamed. Those who dream cannot stop dreaming – they can only try to control it. Those who are dreamed cannot have their own lives – they will sleep forever if their dreamers die. And then there are those who are drawn to the dreamers. To use them. To trap them. To kill them before their dreams destroy us all. Ronan Lynch is a dreamer. He can pull both curiosities and catastrophes out of his dreams and into his compromised reality. Jordan Hennessy is a thief. The closer she comes to the dream object she is after, the more inextricably she becomes tied to it. Carmen Farooq-Lane is a hunter. Her brother was a dreamer . . . and a killer. She has seen what dreaming can do to a person. And she has seen the damage that dreamers can do. But that is nothing compared to the destruction that is about to be unleashed. . . .

Review (Spoilers Included):

I’ve read a fair amount of spin off series from other authors and they never lived up to the original or felt like a good book by itself but let me tell you, Call Down the Hawk is a magnificent piece of art. It was such a good book and I had so much fun reading it.

Now, I’m not gonna lie and say I wasn’t nervous about this book and the series. I was pretty nervous. I didn’t know how Maggie Stiefvater would present the characters, Ronan and Adam, in this book because we know who they are from TRC but they’ve grown and changed so how would they look like and feel like? Also, knowing the fact that you can read CDTH without reading TRC terrified me because how would Maggie Stiefvater present these characters to people who’ve never read about them and their character development/arc before. It was all so scary because I want people who don’t know Ronan and Adam, to love them as well.

Anyways, for Ronan (because we got more of him), I had nothing to worry about because in his roots, he is still the same character we know, but he’s grown since TRC even more, and I loved that. He doesn’t stay as a stagnant character. He has new fears, goals, and a life really. I just love the continuing character development. It resonates with me so much in the way he sees things and how his thought process is shifting just a bit. Again, he’s still the same character in his roots, but we’re seeing more and more layers of him now that this is his book series.

One thing that surprised me was that Adam did not have a perspective in this book. I had read the first eight chapters in the summer and I thought he would have a bigger role in this book. He did not. I’m not mad at the fact that he barely appears, I’m just surprised. I would’ve liked to get more of him, especially because in the chapter where he first arrives and The Crying Club and Ronan are playing cards, Ronan finds out that Adam has created this lie of what his past was. I was wanting and waiting to delve more into that. Also, I was getting ready to love The Crying Club and we barely got anything from them.

I love Jordan and Hennessy so much. They are the bad ass girls I’ve been waiting for. That scene where the guys break into their homes and the girls beat the shit out them, made me fall in love with them. I will say though, this chapter had me whiplashed because there’s 10 Hennessys?????? I was confused to the max. It took me a while to grasp what they were and when I understood, boy, did I have the breath knocked out of me. It’s hard for me to choose which character I like more: Jordan or Hennessy? Because they aren’t the same character. I think they both stand equally with each other as compelling characters (also to Ronan). They have their own flaws and personalities, and I just really love them both so much.

I’m just gonna say this first before we get to other things: Carmen Farooq-Lane’s chapters were my least favorite. I enjoyed them, but I didn’t really care for them. We don’t get to know her on the more complex levels as we do with Ronan and Hennessy, and it made me not love her as much. There are tiny tidbits of her that we do get which added to her character but I still didn’t care. Hopefully in the future two books, her character gets more intriguing.

DECLAN LYNCH, my friends. Declan motherfreaking Lynch. Tell me why I have such an enormous crush on this boy now. Please tell me. I just.. He’s one of my favorite characters now and I love him and I would protect him with my everything. I initially was excited to read about him more before CDTH came out but it still surprised me how much I liked him. He is portrayed soooo differently in TRB, but in TRK, we start to see the Declan that we see in this book. God, I love him. It’s so hard to explain why. I think it’s because we see what he’s sacrificed for his family and why he was the way he was in TRC. I don’t know, dude. He’s just a gem now.

JORDAN AND DECLAN ARE ONE OF MY NEW FAVORITE OTP. I lived for every fucking moment they had together. From the second they met, I was digging it. I don’t know how Maggie Stiefvater manages to make insta-love soooo good. She did a great job with Maura and the Grey Man, and she did a fantastic job here with Jordan and Declan. I would die for them. I love how slowly they’re uncovering each other’s secrets and getting to know one another and making such smart remarks at each other and it’s so cute and so good.

Ronan and Adam though? Broke my goddamn heart. The two scenes they have together made me cry and feel all the emotions. Their little Latin saying to each other makes me cry every time they say it. OH MY GOD, IT HURTS. THEY HURT MY HEART. But that scene where Ronan sees Adam for the first time and says to God, “please.” THAT SCENE KILLED ME. THAT WORD KILLED ME. Holy nuggets, they make me emotional. Their scenes were just so good and heartbreaking.

The entirety of this book had me shook to the core. The copies of Niall Lynch and Aurora? Literally, what the fuck? It creeped me out but it was so bizarre and sad and it was wild. Also, Aurora isn’t Declan’s mom??? I need to know more about this and more about the Lynch family. It’s bugging me that I don’t know. AND MATTHEW FOUND OUT HE WAS A DREAM? Broke my fucking heart. There was so much that happened that it’s fucking hard to recap everything.

The small mentions of the Gangsey and the events of TRC was something I loved a lot. I miss those characters and that story so much, and getting a taste of them in this book was so relieving and made me so happy yet sad. The mention of an old forest that Ronan had made before Lindenmere broke my heart because if you read TRK, you would know. Even lines from CDTH that sounded the slightest bit like a line from TRC got me tearing up.

That ending though, had me at the edge of my seat! I loved that scene where Dreamer-hunters find Hennessy and Ronan and Bryde comes out and Ronan and Hennessy whip out their fucking majestical swords. It was AMAZING. I need to see some fanart of that because it would please my eyes so much. But they literally just hop on a goddamn hoverboard and fly away. How dare that be the end? I NEED MORE.

The “villains” of this story are hard to pinpoint and it’s hard to know how dangerous they are and what they’re capable of. I don’t even know what the heck The Lace is, but I feel like it alludes a lot to something less magical and something more realistic. The dream-hunters (it’s been a day since reading it and I already forgot what they were called) don’t seem that serious or powerful, in my opinion because we didn’t see what they were capable of besides beating the shit out of people. Also, the whole copies of Niall Lynch and Aurora, I don’t know if they’re bad. There’s just so much that is confusing me.

Overall, I loved this book. It was fun, thrilling, mysterious, heartbreaking, funny, romantic, and so so magical. I would highly recommend reading The Raven Cycle before CDTH, but it’s your choice. Call Down the Hawk was amazing and I can’t wait for next book to come out. I know The Dreamer Trilogy is gonna be a favorite right after The Raven Cycle. 4.5/5 stars!

#call down the hawk #the raven cycle #the dreamer trilogy #ronan lynch #jordan hennessy #carmen farooq lane #declan lynch #matthew lynch #adam parrish #books #book review #book spoilers #maggie stiefvater

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daturanerium · 4 years

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finished season two of the magnus archives! here is my s2 livetweet thread and here are my reflections/predictions from season one.

jon:

you are so fucking stupid. so incomprehensibly dumb. it is absolutely incredible how you lack any brain cells at all.

if jon was a dnd character he’d have a plus three to intelligence and a negative two to wisdom. i’m right.

[jon voice] people care about me? Must Be A Manipulation Tactic!

[jon voice, continued] literally everyone except for me is a) a murderer, b) using me, or c) hiding something. i, however, am totally fine and also sane and if you imply otherwise you are definitely Hiding Something and i need to stalk you.

seriously it’s a goddamn miracle he wasn’t fired or didn’t just like....explode on the spot

that awkward moment when you befriend a cop and get tapes that may lead to your successor’s cold murder case being solved but in the process you learn that you and your place of employment are actually owned by The Great, All-Powerful [REDACTED]

it’s so interesting listening to a man’s mental health and sanity decline in real time!

martin: do u want some tea? jon: you’re going to kill me huh?

[jon voice] it is a good idea for me to enter these dangerous tunnels alone on multiple occasions. i am fine.

his fatal flaw is still pursuit of knowledge. love that for him.

baby please you work for an entity that probably literally thrives off knowledge.......please grow some brain cells in season three before you literally die doing something stupid

i literally can’t say anything more about s2 jon that isn’t me just repeating “stupid dumb paranoid baby” over and over again

martin:

martin [shaking hands emoji] me playing the mediator as our family loses their minds around us

martin blackwell recieves everything he has ever wanted and needed challenge!!!

baby i love you

HE CARES SO MUCH AND NOBODY CARES ABOUT HIM.......

martin’s job this season is literally the concerned husband but we’re not ready to talk about that yet

my dude really stepped up at the end! he was gonna fight michael in hand to hand combat for jon and sasha and i’m so proud of him!

martin went from baby to hold my flower

martin saw some shit in season one and now he’s a badass

his poetry.....i cried i literally love him so much

when he was talking to tim in the tunnels and he just breaks. and yells. and says he wants to get out of here and save jon and help sasha and be happy and you know what if everything DID turn out in the end that would be kind of nice actually!!!!

we didn’t see much of him this season but from what we did, especially at the end......the character development.......he’s so much braver now, so much more ready to confront the horrors of the world around him. martin is one of those special people that runs on love and uses love as a driving force to fight for the things he needs.

i hope someday martin gets to sit down in a nice little cottage in the middle of nowhere with someone who loves him and just. relax. it’s what he deserves.

tim

you are the only bitch in this house i ever respected

literally just trying his best

so incredibly valid

GIVE HIM A BREAK

as someone who is the least confrontational person on the planet i really respect and admire tim calling jon out on his bullshit

that scene was so cathartic.....god.....

@ THE ELDRICH BEING RUNNING THE ARCHIVES CAN YOU PLEASE LET HIM GO HE JUST WANTS TO LEAVE

tim at the beginning of s2: hey jon you okay? you’re acting weird and it’s kind of freaking us out tim at the end of s2: fuck archivist lives and jon in particular,

and you know what? he’s right

i hope tim gets to go home. it won’t happen but i can dream.

are we just gonna brush over that part in the finale where michael just???? bamfed them to another dimension or something????? because neither tim nor martin seemed the least bit phased

honestly tim/jon has rights. i enjoy it.

he’s just so angry and hurt and done. he’s reached his limit. goodbye

get tim out of the archives s3!!! do it!!!

gertrude

wow i love you

every time i hear gertrude’s voice i just go [one thousand teary-eyes emojis]

there’s a lot we don’t know and there’s a lot that she knows. i wish we could like. raise her from the dead or something. altho honestly with a horror podcast who the hell knows

jon listening to/hyperfixating on gertrude is just a fancy way of him claiming her as his new mother figure

GOD I LOVE HER I WANT TO KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT HER CAN WE GET A SPINOFF PLEASE

basira and daisy

the only cops with rights

that part where tim thought basira was jon’s girlfriend and they both dissolved into gay panic.....priceless

daisy step on me challenge. i’ve met her twice and i love her.

honestly basira is such a badass. stealing from the cops while being a cop? that takes guts and i really respect her lack of respect toward cops while being one

not to mention that entire business with that sentient cult darkness shit. she killed it in there (no pun intended). give her like a purple heart or something idk how cops work

daisy.....please tell me your secrets. what have you seen. what do you know.

melanie

please work for the archives i am BEGGING you

my ghost hunter girlfriend

i love her and jon’s relationship. just pure loathing. tension between the hunter and the archivist. i live for that shit.

but under that it’s like Oh Shit I Actually Care A Lot???? like their loathing comes from their businesses being judgemental enemies, but personally they actually have a lot in common and care for each others’ wellbeing.

i really hope melanie sticks around so we can learn more about her and see her friendship with jon grow into....an actual friendship

shes also a total badass and both her research and deducing skills are so good. she’s just a great archive candidate overall.

michael

[REDACTED]

what the fuck are you

what the fuck do you want

why do i like you so much.

okay there’s a lot more going on here but i’m putting my predictions under the cut!

okay lets check out my predictions from last time.

okay this one was partially right! “entities” rule the world apparently, and the archive is run by one of them. sort of got that!

.....yeah that didn’t happen.

hell yeah! i’m proud of myself for this one, even though the time loop part wasn’t true. i thought “time loop” because her voice started echoing when she hit the table, but turns out that was just her crazy long copy taking over. oh well!

nope. gertrude was killed by elias, apparently. fucker.

WELL.........

okay. this one is complicated because i was sort of correct but there’s still a lot of information i don’t know. gonna give myself half credit for this one i think.

REMEMBER IN THE FINALE WHEN MARTIN THOUGHT HE SAW SASHA AND TIM HAD TO STOP HIM FROM RUNNING IN TO SAVE HER? YEAH.

okay, season three predictions. let's go.

(disclaimer: while i haven’t been actively looking up spoilers or engaging in the tma tag, i also haven’t muted the tag or anything associated with it. i have ideas of what’s to come but they’re vague and mostly come from fanart on my dash/timeline).

jon just gives up. he’s having to much of a crisis to do anything other than his job.

jonmartin endgame still

michael becomes a sort of??? constant presence??? at the archive. everyone just kind of accepts it.

the books and the entities make a lot more things make sense. that’s really vague i know but like.

predictions for the entities:

fire/destruction

knowledge (jon stans rise up)

empty/alone (these stories always get to me the most. the ones where you’re endlessly falling or trapped in a cave or can’t sleep or stuck in space. shit scares me more than anything else)

chaos (i think michael is with this one. the doors also fit into this category, and maybe that shipping company)

death/id (brings out the bareness of human instinct. the meat, the bloodlust, and the death. maybe even the bugs go here, but they’re confusing. i don’t know where they fit.)

each entity represents a deep-set human fear. they were created to either teach us lessons or keep us in line.

sometimes they have devoted followers. sometimes they have disciples or avatars. you can lose yourself to them if you aren’t careful. jane was probably an avatar, that girl with the heat powers on hilltop road was an avatar, that guy with the lightning powers was an avatar, etc.

the books can teach you how to connect with the entities, but you have to be actually insane to try it. (if you aren’t already, you certainly will by the time you finish the reading/ritual. if you even survive)

anyway back to actual plot.

jon learns more from gertrude’s tapes about elias and the archives. maybe even the entities. he doesn’t want to know, but as we’ve learned, he Just Can’t Not Know.

jon finally grows a brain cell and lets people (martin) take care of him. a little.

tim is just there. he hates it but he can’t leave. (someone please get him out this is so sad)

melanie and basira join up with the archive, but for different reasons. melanie because jon asks her to, basira because despite her best interest she couldn’t stay away.

at the end of the season we’ll either meet a powerful avatar person of one of the entities themselves. that will be.....interesting.

elias gets hit by a bus. won’t happen but i can dream.

what ever happened to that one man from season one who had the dreams about death? i loved his statement. is there anyone out there like him? will jon receive a message like gertrude did?

WHAT IS THE LIGHTER FOR. i completely forgot about it until i looked at my last predictions and saw it mentioned.

martin is more active in tapes (again unlikely but i can dream. i love him)

that’s about all i got! i’m going to post this and immediately start season three. wish me luck :)

#tma #the magnus archives #tma season 2 #jonathan sims #i love any cryptic laughter but please no actual spoilers!

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tracle0 · 5 years

Text

22/11

I was tagged by @joyful-soul-collector (thank you this is possibly one of my favourite tag games) ... Okay also also before I could finish this up, @hyba also tagged me so uh it’s 22/11 instead, ty ty. You two might want to check the tag list cause uhhh you might be there who knows not me c:

The rules are: Answer the 11 (22 this time but hush) questions, make up your own 11 and then tag... I think it’s 11 people but I don’t know 11 people who I haven’t already tagged so...

I sort of started spamming pictures to answer a question so I’m gonna... put the pictures under the cut.

1. Have any of your OCs ever stolen something? What did they steal, and why? Oh yeah sure - the first one I can think of easily is Cain. He used to live on the streets so had to steal to survive. But he’d also work for money. He’s not heartless, just desperate.

Also now I’m thinking about it, Tag would definitely be the kind of guy to just... hey I know I’m meant to hand this gear in but... no-one will miss it so.... he steals to amuse himself with the gadgets he gets.

2. Did you ever have imaginary friends as a kid? What were they like? I copied my sister in having pretend animal friends, but not really. Who needs imaginary friends when you have real-life ones lol I was a lot more liked as a kid.

3. Do any of your OCs have a favorite article of clothing? Why is it their favorite?

Uhhhh

Um.

Yeah, you could say that.

Andy likes his hoodie because it’s a thing that is only his. He didn’t get it from Murdock, I honestly don’t know WHERE he got it from, but it’s his, and the fact he owns anything means a lot to him.

Cain likes his because it’s one of the few things left over from when he was younger and again, it’s his. He didn’t steal it. It belongs to Only Him. He feels comfortable in it.

4. What do you fist develop about a character when you make one up? Do you think of their appearance first? Their personality? Their backstory?

Honestly? It depends. Backstory always comes after, but personality and appearance often intersect. I know for WIP 3 I thought of personality and traits first, and for Collateral it was appearance first. I think for Sonder it was more.. their role in the story? ‘Oh hey this is the antagonist, this is the protagonist, this is the love interest wait I hate romance, okay, side kick’ etc

5. Fluff or Angst?

If it’s not romantic? Fluff. I made myself angsty enough when I was younger, I want more happiness in my life.

6. Remember the color of that dress that everyone was debating about however many years ago? The one that was blue and black, or white and gold? What colors did you see?

The correct colours.

7. Pick your bubbliest, happiest OC. Now tell me what will make them turn into your worst nightmare. I wanna see what makes them the angriest.

Oh boy, let’s see uhhh... Tag. Tag from WIP 3 who is undergoing the process of a name change.

Seeing someone he loves die would twist him. Being isolated would eventually break him. Being unable to do what he loves would definitely upset him also.

Also idk if you’ve heard about it but in his world, there’s a nifty ability called being a silvertongue and I know at least one silvertongue is not gonna exploit this but I also know of another who would even on this19-year-old kid so maybe it’s not by choice but that could make him a nightmare. Just sayin’

8. Now pick your angstiest, most emo OC. And tell me what would make them blush and giggle like an idiot. I wanna see what makes them the happiest.

Okay for this one it’s a tie I write a lot of angsty characters.

>Andy - seeing something just. Really funny. Oh did Sam just fall over in a ridiculous way? Fantastic. That’s actually how they first have a proper conversation. Sam falls over, he laughs, they talk.

>Cain - anything awesome that Duck does. Oh hey what’s up Goose oh you drew this radical picture? /tearing up/ it’s so great oh my gosh you’re so talented. That’s more being happy than giggling but can you see Cain giggling? No, me neither.

9. If you could have any mythical creature for a pet, what would it be?

Dragon, next question.

10. What’s your go-to thing for when you’re hungry but don’t have time/energy to cook something?

Fruit! It is! Very good! And tasty! Apples have a good cronch! Oranges are mmmm juicy. Banana? Yes nice thank you. Oh wow we have strawberries? What a sweet treat. Also healthy!

11. Do any of your OCs have scars? Would they be confident enough to show them in public (like at the beach)?

Oh yeah sure man. Andy’s got multiple from... ‘training’. He doesn't show them off. Cain, Duck and Theo have all been badly burnt on the arms, and Cain ‘’shows it off’’ just because it makes him uncomfortable to have his arms covered. And uh Raya probably has some sort of scar on her knees or elbow from rollerblading. Because you do fall over and it does scar.

And now for Hyba’s questions, lez go bois

1. What cultural value do you see in writing/reading/storytelling/etc.?

I think that without storytelling specifically, humans would be so... mundane? We’d be no different to any other animal on the planet. Creating anything, be that stories or art or literally anything is so... human. To take that away would be like taking away humanities soul. The cultural value isn’t really measurable - storytelling makes up the culture.

2. Do you try more to be original or to deliver to readers what they want?

Honestly, I have no idea. I try to entertain myself, and if other people like it too, then that’s neat. But because I’m writing for myself, I anticipate everything, so I don’t know if it’s original or not. I know it delivers what I want! But is that readers want? Who knows!

3. As a writer, what would you choose as your mascot/avatar/spirit animal?

Crow. Not even as a writer, just... dude crows are so damn cool.

4. What do you think most characterizes your writing?

I’m not quite sure about the phrasing so uhhhh represents? Google is telling me ‘describes’.

In which case, a midnight fever jolting you out of bed, moments before you could fall asleep, and puppeting you to a writing surface so you can splurge ideas onto it sounds about right. 66% of my WIPs have elements in them that were based on dreams.

5. How do you select the names of your characters?

Mostly? Spite. ‘Oh Trade, you can’t have a bad guy named Andy, all Andy’s are good’ NOPE NOT ANYMORE SUCK IT. I also have a friend who is really good at coming up with names that fit the exact mood of the character so I go to her a lot. Sometimes they’re puns.

6. Choose one of your OCs (or more). How would they want to be seen by others?

Sam from Sonder wants to be seen as someone people can talk to, but also someone who pursues a science because yes sociology is a science to her, shut up, don’t talk to me if you’re going to mention the words ‘paradigm’ or ‘objective’ thank you.

7. How do you find or make time to write? Are you consistent or do you write whenever you get the chance?

Hahahahahhahha.

In the past few months, I’ve not been writing because I’ve had exams. Before that, I wrote at every chance I had - being a student, I had a fair bit of free time during the day, so I’d use that to write. But for a while, it was a nothing on the ‘what has Trade written recently’ chart.

Going up again boiiis

8. What does literary success look like to you? Is it important for you as a writer?

Literary success? That’s... a very interesting question. I think I’d be satisfied and feel successful if one person told me that my book helped them through something.

Jokes on me, I’ve already had that, my books helped me, I have already succeeded, see you losers in hell.

Also fanart but uh who needs fanart when you draw enough for five armies?

9. Are there any scenes that you’ve had to edit out of your WIPs? Can you tell us about them if they don’t spoil the book?

YES oh lord yes okay so in Sonder, chapter 15, I decided around draft 2 that I wanted a scene where Atlas got drunk. I made up reasons for it, asked lots of friends about what it was like to be drunk (as I personally have never been drunk), attended parties to get first-hand research and did so much preparation.

Wrote the scene, was pleased with it, left it to fester. Two years and two drafts later (now), I’ve come back and realised oh hey that scene is utterly useless and de-rails the plot. Time to remove it I guess.

I rationalise it as ‘well you wrote it and you had fun but it’s not needed, move on’ and that works well for me.

10. Would you feel comfortable publishing or sharing your writing using your real name, or would you prefer a pseudonym?

Pseudonym 100%. As cool as it would be to be able to go ‘hey I wrote this’ to people, the terrifying ordeal of being known is horrific, and people being able to track all my past activity from when I was literally seven is my worst nightmare. I wouldn’t even tell family or friends if I could get away with it.

‘Hey [real name], there’s a book at Waterstones called Sonder? With the exact same characters, plot and writing style as you have? But it’s under [pseudonym]?’ ‘oh hey, really that’s wild. Anyway,’

11. When writing, do you try more to be original or do you prefer to deliver to readers what they want? Do you think that a book can do both? Which is more important to you as a writer?

Oh hey, this is like question two but MORE. Standing by my previous answer, I think a book can do both - people want a happy ending, usually, but you can always be original in how you do that. No two stories can be told in exactly the same way. And hey - even if people do guess what’s coming up, that’s good.

As a writer? It’s most important to entertain. I don’t try and catch people out, I just deliver the story I have in my head and then edit it mercilessly until I’m pleased.

Questions!

1) Design a mask for an OC to wear. Would it cover their whole face? Is it a mascarade mask? Is it fancy or simple? Bonus cool kid points if you draw it.

2) Which OCs like spicy food?

3) Which OCs can take care of a plant - an orchid, to be exact?

4) Do you tell stories in any other medium beyond writing? eg: art or roleplay or...?

5) Do you have any irl items that you have because ‘oh dude this is something that’d totally be in my story’? Can I see them?

6) What’s the first book you remember buying?

7) Do you have any weird collections of things? As an example, I have a skull collection and a collection of... what’s best described as doll body parts. Anything just... weird that you have a lot of? Can I see it?

8) Which OC gets distracted by watching birds and which OC is like ‘dude stop watching the birds we’ve got STUFF TO DO’

9) Have you ever met a published author? Who?

10) Are you a person who likes tea or are you a person who prefers coffee? If the latter - dude c’mon tea is so much better smh

11) Have you backed up your files recently? Do it now. Please, for the love of god, back up your files.

Tagging!

@hyba @joyful-soul-collector (dunno if I’m allowed to tag the people who tagged me but fukkit here’s some more questions you eggs) @kaatiba @albatris @timetravelingpigeon @note-katha (hi we have barely interacted but nice new username) @nymph-of-diana (on your main if you want, idm c:) @writing-and-nutmeg @futurity-writing @osteoprecocious and @thatfizzyyyy

Honestly, the fact I made it to 11 is - wowza. Uhhh if you don’t want to then don’t, if you do want to then PLEASE do and then tag me so I can see your answers, I’m curious.

Ciao.

#writing #am writing #my writing #writerblr #writeblr #tagged in #Wow this went on #but seriously this is possibly my favourite tag game #coming up with questions is hard but #hey piece of advice #put stuff you love into the questions #I like masks for example #so #questions about masks lezgo

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minnie-marvel · 6 years

Text

Operation Juliet (Peter Parker x Reader) Part 3 [finale]

You’ve been head over heels for Peter Parker for almost a year hiding your feelings behind love letters that you never thought would reach him. When your best friend slips one into your locker, you give up on hiding your letters from Peter and begin to slip them into his locker on a daily basis. Peter is through with not knowing who you are so he and Ned finally decide to engage in a proper investigation to figure out your identity!

Peter Parker x Reader

Part 1 Part 2

Words:

A/N:Finally!! The curtain comes to a close on this romantic sap of a fic!! I’m so glad you all enjoyed this piece it was honestly a freaking delight to create this. Like writing love letters is so fun and sweet If only i had someone to write some to hahaha

Before we go on although I’d like to bring your attention to this MASTERPIECE @seven-magic-sins drew for this fic!!! PLEASE CHECK OUT THEIR ART WHAT THEY DID WAS SUPER SWEET AND THEY DESERVE ALL THE LOVE!!!!

(BTW if anyone makes fanart for my fics you bet your sweet ass I’ll be featuring it in my works!!! It’s too thoughtful to ignore!!! As long as it’s PG I’ll be putting it on the next update of said fic!!!)

Now then, let’s get to the good stuff shall we?

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His breathing stopped, his heart froze, his eyes locked onto your notebook where your name was written in a perfectly adorable script that he had only seen once before.

“Thanks!!” you chirped innocently as Peter handed you your notebook trying to keep himself from bursting into flames at the mere sight of you. He didn’t meet your eyes for a moment as he mumbled a quick “no problem” to you. When he was finally able to peel his gaze back from the floor, he nearly fell over again. He was stunned at how cool and collective you were being, despite your underlying romantic demeanor. You were the girl he was looking for, his Juliet.

Unfortunately for you, you were about as oblivious as Peter, and didn’t notice his obvious ogling over you. Or maybe you were just completely thrown off due to the fact that Peter was actually talking to you in the first place?

Peter’s brain felt clogged with all of the incoming messages his heart was seemingly telling him. It was screaming that he was an idiot, a dork and super lame for not being able to come up with anything to say for at least three minutes. You both were left in a very awkward silence, neither of you being able to believe that you were actually talking to the other person.

“So uh… my friend said she talked to you about Spiderman today!” You felt your voice crack again. Godamnit. He had to take a moment to think back to who you could possibly be talking about. Was it a girl? Or worse, maybe a boy? That’s when the realization struck him like a brick to the head.

“Oh yeah!! The girl on track.. what was her name?? Sorry, I’m like… really bad with those.” He said quickly. You shook your head happy that you had gotten a conversation flowing. “Eve!” you answered. You weren’t going to tell him that she was essentially your distraction, but it wasn’t like you had to anymore, Peter had soon pieced together your little plan to throw him off.

He felt his brain slap himself. Oh, you were good, too good.

“Right…” he said softly. “You know Y/N, I never really see you around school! Where are you always hiding?” he gave a soft laugh that sent your heart sky high. Ah yes, that was why you were in love with him. It wasn’t that you had forgotten, but seeing Peter being so adorable in person seemed to make you fall all over again.

You blushed realizing you had let a second or two fly by before responding due to you swooning over him internally. “Oh well, I’m not exactly in your classes, I’m just a grade below you but…there’s always passing!!” You said quickly to make up for the lost time. You felt embarrassment sink in your chest. You really hoped he didn’t suddenly see you as some squabbling infant in comparison to him.

“That makes sense…” He said a little too thoughtfully for your taste. Oh god, why was he saying it like that?? Were you drooling?? You were probably drooling. You wiped your mouth slightly despite no saliva being present. “It’s too bad, it would be cool to see you around more often, you’re a pretty sweet person!”

911? Yes, you’d like to report a homicide. This boy had practically shot you in the heart.

You started to giggle like an idiot. “N-no not really..!!” you said trying to look away from him. Peter couldn’t help but give a laugh as well. Boy, if you were this bashful over a small compliment, who knew what you would do if he actually told you how he thought you were a literal angel sent from heaven that he didn’t know he deserved.

You felt the train slowly pull to a stop and felt your heart tear slightly as Peter started to move. “This is me,” He said sadly himself. He wanted to tell you he knew you, so badly. Not that he had known you from your first day of school when you dropped your books all over the floor just as you did a few minutes ago. He wanted to tell you that he knew you and everything that your heart wanted to tell him. He wanted to tell you that his heart wanted to speak to yours too.

“Bye Peter!” You waved to him as he took a step off the bus. He gave you a smile that made you want to faint before walking off into the distance while the train pulled off again. Peter pulled his phone out almost immediately texting Ned.

‘Ned. Emergency. I know who Juliet is.’ --- Ned had met Peter at his apartment as soon as he could. Overwatch would have to wait, it wasn’t every day he and Peter had a cute girl pinning after one of them.

“Oh!! Y/N!” Ned said stroking his chin as he spun in Peter’s chair. “I see her a lot in the library,” he thought allowed. “She’s super quiet though I’ve never even heard her speak before…” his hand dropped to his side in disbelief. “I can’t believe she of all people is… Juliet.” He shrugged.

“What?? Dude, she’s like perfect come on!!!” Peter shouted.

“No, no, bro I’m not saying she’s not perfect!! I just didn’t think it would be her,” Ned said. He stood still for a moment before turning fully to him. “How are you gonna tell her Pete?”

Peter pursed his lips. “Well, there’s only one thing I can do,” He said simply. --- You hummed softly to yourself, you were having a fantastic day. You had gotten an A on your math test which you were convinced that you had failed (math and science was never your strong suits). You had finished one of your reading assignments freeing your weekend up, and on top of all that, yesterday’s conversation with Peter still left you feeling on top of the world.

The last bell of the day had rung and your felt your excitement grow. The weekend was here and you were free to do whatever you pleased. You opened up your locker to pack up your things for the weekend when you felt something tap your feet. Your eyes naturally glanced at the floor and you felt your chest clench.

There was a small envelope lying at your feet with your name written on its front.

You swept it into your hands almost immediately, fearful that it might disappear if you didn’t pick it up quick enough. Your fingers trembled as they slowly tore through the paper revealing a letter inside. You felt your skin shake as you read.

To the silently sweet Y/N, who writes from afar,

Okay, first off, I know this is super cheesy and a dumb attempt to try and copy what you’ve mastered. What you’ve created for the past month is not something as simple as letters Y/N; it’s an art. I’m an idiot for not realizing sooner. You’d think someone who’s gained a full-time internship to Stark labs would have known better. Enough about me although, I’m sure you’ve had enough letters about me in your hands long enough. It’s time for me to finally return your favor. If you are as loving, intelligent, and beautiful as Juliet, am I even worthy to be your Romeo? I’ve never been one to be very confident, but I think I’d do a better job than a Montague of being your one true love. That is if you’d still want to love a dork like me who couldn’t figure you out till now. Your letters have created a change in me; they’ve started a fire in my heart that I can’t control any longer. At first, it was a spark, then a steady flame, and now Y/N? Well, I don’t even think a typhoon could smother out the wildfire that explodes when I think about how perfect you are, and how I don’t deserve you. There’s so much more I want to tell you, but I think you deserve a better explanation than a letter that’s practically a steaming pile of crap in comparison to your masterpieces. Will you let me explain? I hope you will Y/N.

Signed,

Your hopelessly romantic Romeo

Peter

You knew this was good news. Hell, this was AMAZING news! But you couldn’t help but shake when you lifted your eyes from the paper. When you did, your world seemed to stop in motion and everything froze.

Peter stood only a couple of feet away from you, watching you read the letter with the goofiest most adorable smile that you thought you could even see on this planet. Your hands dropped to your side as he took a couple of steps closer to you. Your face was about as red as the color on his spidey suit at this point. You couldn’t help but look down in embarrassment.

“Hey, hey!!” Peter chuckled taking you gently by the shoulders when he saw your frown. “What’s wrong D-did I do a bad job??” He saw your tears drop onto your shoes and bit his lip pulling you into a quick embrace. “Y/N…?” He asked feeling his heart jump, stop and burn all at once.

“I didn’t think you’d ever find me…” You whispered the tears hot on your cheeks. “Yeah,” Peter tried not to laugh. “I’m sorry it took so long, you’d think a so-called genius could have pieced it together sooner right?” He tapped his forehead against yours and you finally got the courage to look at him. You thought that his eyes were warm enough to melt a block of ice.

“It’s not that…” you smiled softly. “I didn’t think you’d necessarily want to find me…” you explained. “I mean I’m not that noticeable, I’m quiet, I can’t even speak to you without having a mini heart attack,”

“Y/N, I don’t care about any of that,” He answered taking a strand of your hair pushing it behind your ear. “You’re shyness, your quietness, it’s all in our personality and I wouldn’t change a thing about it.” He smiled his hands sliding from your back to your hands. “I meant everything I said in those letters Y/N, I don’t want you to just be my Juliet.” Your heart nearly stopped and your eyes searched his fearful of his next response. “ I want you to be my Y/N, totally and completely with every quirk that you have.”

He took a moment to laugh to himself. “And let’s not forget that I’m no angel either, I think I’m about as awkward as they come,” You sighed softly letting your head rest on his chest now. Your heart was a glow and your spirits were so high you thought that it could reach satellites. Everything felt perfect, for a moment you expected credits to roll.

“So,” Peter said drawing you out of your thoughts. “How do you feel about Thai?” He said wrapping one arm around you as you walked together down the hall. You felt your hand touch his as you looked up at him. “I think that sounds good,” You smiled. Ned and Eve passed you both by casually as you walked and exchanged knowing glances. They gave each other high fives before calling out to you.

“Hey, Romeo and Juliet!!” Eve snorted nudging Ned’s side. “Get a room you too!” Ned smirked.

You couldn’t help but smile. You looked down at the letter in your other hand again blushing slightly. “Hey, Peter?”

“Hmm?”

“Did my letters make you this flustered?” You asked still showing him the letter. Peter laughed loudly having to stop mid-walk altogether in order to compose himself again. He turned to you his cheeks rosy from laughter and his feelings for you.

“Y/N, you have no idea,”

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aroaessidhe · 7 years

Text

50 bookish questions

@violaeade tagged me in this a million years ago

1. What is your favourite book and/or book series of all time?

hahaha God i don’t know,,. Gonna say like, chaos walking or mortal engines but that's in part because I've loved them for so long and reread them a bunch. there are so many more recent books that I love too

2. What is the longest book you have ever read? How many pages?

.according to goodreads stats it’s A Dance With Dragons at 1125

3. What is the oldest book you have ever read? (Based on its written date)

I have no idea tbh, I haven’t read that many old books. lord of the rings? - I checked goodreads and apparently the oldest book (on my goodreads anyway) is the hobbit so there we go

4. What is a book series that everyone else loves but you do not?

a whole heap of them tbh. but I don't really bother with popular books I don't like? If I don't like them I just. Don't think about them for the most part

5. What book or book series would you like to see turned into a film/ TV series?

idk??? to be honest I can’t really think of any. Maybe in other lands because I'm thinking about that a lot recently and it is the kind of format that would suit episodes, I feel?

6. What is your favourite stand-alone book?

uhhh gosh maybe The Wind City or Radio Silence

7. What is a book that you feel glad for not reading?

acotar

8. What is a book that you feel guilty for not reading?

I mean there’s a billion books I want to read but haven’t yet, but that’s only because I haven’t had the time.

9. What is a book you have read that is set in your country of birth?

The Shattering, The Wind City, The Halfmen of O (kinda....it's mostly in another world but they start off near nelson which is where I & the author live so i wanna mention it)

10. What is a book that you own more than one copy of?

Pantomime and Shadowplay by Laura Lam, because I bought the rereleased versions

11. What horror book made you really scared?

I don’t read many horror books?? I'm sure there's a few but I can't think of anything

12. What book do you passionately hate?

c*ptive pr*nce

13. What is the biggest book series you have read? How many books are in it?

the edge chronicles has what, 14? if you count all the shadowhunters books there’s about that many too..... I read a significant amount of the warriors books when I was a kid but I can’t remember how many

14. What book gives you happy memories?

Chameleon Moon/The Lifeline Signal are good and happy

15. What book made you cry?

What book didn’t make me cry is the question. Recently, In Other Lands (I’m pretty sure I cried throughout 60% of it) and Eliza and Her Monsters

16. What book made you laugh?

man i’m gonna say In Other Lands again, when I’m not crying I’m laughing (or both)

17. What is your favourite book that contains an LGBTQ+ character?

like 90% off the books i read have lgbtqia characters

18. Have you read a book with a male protagonist? What is it?

(i love how there’s this question but not female protagonist....as if male protagonists are less common or something.....?)

19. Have you read a book set on another planet? What is it?

Fourth World (and like many others lmao)

20. Have you ever been glad to not finish a series? Which?

I only read the third Throne of Glass book because I assumed it was a trilogy and thought I might as well finish it but boy am i sure I stopped there

21. Have you ever read a book series because you were pressured?

I don’t think pressured necessarily but ones that are super popular like throne of glass, game of thrones

22. What famous author have you not read any books by?

probably a bunch

23. Who is your favourite author of all time?

I always say like, Patrick Ness or Scott Westerfeld for these because they both have so many books I love? but there are so many authors I love who are not...white dudes, who I probably love more they just, only have a few books out so far

24. How many bookshelves do you own?

At my parent's house, two big ones and a small one, and at uni three small ones. (all of which are overflowing)

25. How many books do you own?

Maybe 400? At least as many ebooks.

26. What is your favourite non-fiction book?

I don’t read many

27. What is your favourite children’s/middle-grade book?

is the edge chrronicles middle grade?

28. What is your next book on your TBR?

uhhh I kinda don't have a specific order but one of these: when dimple met rishi, meg & linus, noteworthy, the library of fates, shadow run and ramona blue

29. What book are you currently reading?

the raising by steven dos santos! came out ages ago and I just...never got aound to finishing the trilogy oops

30. What book are you planning on buying next?

probably something from here

31. What was the cheapest book you bought?

I get a lot of ebooks on amazon when they’re on sale for <5 (or free sometimes)

32. What was the most expensive book you bought?

gosh idk. I try not to buy books more than $22 (which is pretty cheap for nz tbh) but I’ve gotten the occasional $35-40 one. not recently because I am a student and Cannot Afford That

33. What is a book you read after seeing the movie/ TV series?

Howl’s Moving Castle, though not immediately

34. What is the newest book you have bought?

Venturess I think? oh wait I preodered Warcross too... (I always preorder things and they usually come out of order so I forget)

35. What three books are you most looking forward to reading this year?

Warcross, Not Your Villain and Mask of Shadows are a couple

36. What is a book you love that has a terrible trope? (Love triangle, etc)

probably a bunch, but I can’t think of anything specific

37. Have you read a book in a different language? What was it?

I don’t know any other languages so nope, unless you count translated versions (or comics with an english translation throughout the entire thing)

38. What is a book you’ve read that is set in a time period before you were born?

gentleman's guide to vice and virtue

39. What book offended you?

same answer as #12

40. What is the weirdest book you have read?

ya know I'm sure I've read a bunch of weird books??? but nothing comes to mind

41. What is your favourite duology?

the scorpion rules, adaptation or the abyss surrounds us

42. What is your favourite trilogy?

gosh uh,,, micah grey

43. What book did you buy because of its cover?

Tbh We Are Okay is the first thing that comes to mind, it’s so pretty.

44. What is a book that you love, but has a terrible cover?

a lot of indie books (though definitely not all!) do, and that’s understandable. tbh there are a lot of trad published books with Bad covers too. I'm a design student and I'm picky. (But I try not to judge them publicly)

45. Do you own a poetry anthology? What is your favourite poem from it?

nah I'm not really one for poetry

46. Do you own any colouring books based off other books?

nope

47. Do you own any historical fiction?

a bit

48. What book made you angry?

the sequel to love in the time of global warming tbh....it;s Not Good

49. What book has inspired you?

the wicked lovely series and micah grey series are the two things I’ve done more fanart for than anything else so I’m gonna say those

50. What book got you into reading?

there are different levels here because I’ve always read a lot, but probably the more significant ones are like.. the edge chronicles, inkheart, maurice gee books when I was younger, and then around maybe 10-12ish I just?? wanted to read but didn’t like the look of any books I found. my mum bought me mortal engines and sabriel and forced me to read them and they’re still some of my favourite books ever so there we go

#HOO BOY that took a while #laya talks #i have to go to the airport now and can't be bothered tagging anyone bye

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