#like i hated photos of myself all throughout my teens and i still kind of hate them but im not thinking about it much anymore

[tarotmantic]

through a combination of severe depression, autism, an intense desire to never be perceived, gender fuckery, and aroaceness, I completely swerved the performative femininity/body dysmorphia thing and i still don't have a skincare routine

#like i hated photos of myself all throughout my teens and i still kind of hate them but im not thinking about it much anymore #most of my friends have some level of body dysmorphia #i have gender dysphoria sometimes but luckily so bad #idk i think bc i never got sucked into like performing traditional feminine roles especially in a romantic/sexual context i kind of dodged a #bullet #bc ive never wanted to look attractive for someone #and im not saying there are not issues that come with my experience l #lol #idk i think often about how my identity and experiences shaped my life and relationship to myself #i never learnt how to do makeup so i still never wear any #cause i have had clinical depression since before puberty lol and anxiety that meant id never ask #oh also bc i have never had a job so have no money of my own i cant buy this stuff #im generally just very disconnected with my body #im in it sure but im not attached #so i dont put much value on it #tarot.txt #i make this post like every three months

[hangovercurse]

I’d Drop it All for You

Pictures of you and Pete are spread all over the internet, causing a whirlwind of hate to enter your social media.

Request: “Pete content please! anything !!! smut fluff whatever”

Pete x Reader

Warnings: Cursing, depictions of depression and anxiety

A/N: *Insert normal spiel about respecting A.G. and only using her for plot purposes. No harm intended.* Also I wrote most of this after a meeting with my therapist so... enjoy :) (He’s so cute in this gif I wanna kiss his face)

Word Count: 1820

You weren’t one of those people who loved being the center of attention. You knew that being in the spotlight also meant constantly living under a microscope, and you decided a long time ago that that was not for you.

But you were lucky enough to work as an assistant art director at just 24. You were hoping that The King of Staten Island, your newest project, would help get your name out into the professional world. But that wasn’t the only thing to come out of the film.

It happened unexpectedly, you showed up on set the first day, ready to do whatever the art director required of you. You couldn’t help but be slightly distracted by the lead actor and writer, Pete Davidson. He was so kind and funny, and he wasn’t uptight like everyone else.

After a few hours of filming, he came up to you, introducing himself. He said he “wanted to get to know everyone working on the project,” but you didn’t see him introducing himself to anyone else. You two started talking during breaks. Then he started sitting with you at lunch. Then he was asking for your number.

In a matter of weeks he was asking you out to dinner, taking you to a cozy restaurant that you absolutely adored. He walked you home, his hand grazing yours until you intertwined your fingers.

It was all very romantic, so when Pete asked if he could take you on another, you obviously said yes. Flash forward two weeks and he finally got the courage to ask you to be his girlfriend, even though you were both exclusively seeing each other already.

After filming ended 2 months later, you were still working on the film in post, which meant you had an excuse to stay  in Staten Island with Pete. After about 2 weeks in post, you spent more nights in his bed than your hotel’s.

Nearly 6 months later and you were happier than ever. You were splitting your time between your small apartment in the Bronx and Pete’s basement apartment. Pete introduced you to most of his friends, and you introduced him to yours.

But other than your small circles of friends, you kept your relationship fairly quiet. Pete doesn’t have social media and yours is strictly professional, so there are no pictures of you two together. You weren’t hiding each other, you loved each other, you just had no reason to tell tabloids. And you were perfectly happy with that.

Which made it so much worse when various news sites had pictures of you two holding hands. Had they been anyone else you would’ve thought they were cute, walking along the South Beach oceanside at night.

Pete had been in the SNL studio all day when the pictures were released, while you were in his apartment, trying your best to focus on the photoset in front of you. The production team wanted the film to scream “teen romance,” which basically entails subtle pink undertones and a higher saturation. But you couldn’t quite get the coloring right, probably because you weren’t actually focusing on the colors.

You sighed, looking at the time and realizing that Pete won’t be back until sometime after 2am, which was a whole 5 hours away. You let out a huff, pushing away from the desk and making your way to Pete’s closet and searching for one of his hoodies. They always smelled like him (and weed), so it was a comfort to you.

You crashed onto the bed, finding the phone that you had tossed there a few hours earlier. Turning it on you were surprised by the number of notifications you were getting. You knew the photos had surfaced but you weren’t expecting this.

Your Instagram was blowing up with new follows, likes, and comments. It was kind of exciting at first until you started reading some of the comments.

I mean, we knew he would downgrade from Ari, but this is like… really far down.

This girl really thinks she’s special just bc Pete’s dating her. Hun he could do so much better

Who is she?!? Literally no one.

Someone needs to show her how to dress

That hairstyle is not it honey

Pete Davidson is dating YOU??? He could do sooo much better

Ari was prettier sorry not sorry

The entire comment section on your last post, a picture of you on the set of your latest film, was pretty much the same. There were some nice comments, but a lot of mean ones.

And you couldn’t help it, you couldn’t stop looking at them. It felt so cliché, but it was like all of your deepest insecurities about being with Pete were thrown out on the table.

You knew that Pete had a fairly large following, and that a lot of people had really strong feelings about him. You had expected that if and when your relationship went public you would have a lot of people watching you, scrutinizing you. But you didn’t care because Pete was worth it.

Now you weren’t so sure. It wasn’t that you couldn’t handle people talking bad about you, because you definitely could, even if it hurt. You just weren’t expecting the amount of people comparing you to Ariana or saying that Pete could do so much better.

And it only bothered you so much because you felt it too. Your inner demons loved to remind you that Pete had dated Ariana fucking Grande and now he’s dating you. Anyone could see an obvious downgrade.

You turned your phone off and threw it on the opposite side of the bed, trying to think positive thoughts. “I am in control of my own thoughts and emotions. I am catching my negative thoughts and fixing them.” You murmured your therapist’s mantra to yourself, but it was too late. The thoughts had already taken hold of your mind.

Your eyes started to water as you could feel the heavy feeling in your chest set in. You pulled the hood over your head, pulling the straps to hide as much of your face as possible, and pulling your knees to your chest. You laid like that for a while, tears falling as doubts ran through your head. Once you had effectively exhausted your thoughts, you went numb. Your tears had stopped, but you couldn’t move. This wasn’t an unfamiliar feeling, but it sure wasn’t pleasurable.

There was a sort of buzzing throughout your body, almost like the feeling when your foot falls asleep, but everywhere. It seemed to block out your sound, as you didn’t hear the basement door open. You only knew that Pete was home when he sat beside you on the bed, pulling the hood off your face.

“There’s my beautiful girl.” He smiled at you. You tried your best to fake one back, but you honestly couldn’t find the energy. Pete pulled you so you were sitting up, back pressed against his front. His arms wrapped around your middle as he pressed a kiss to your temple. “What’s goin on?” He murmured against your skin.

“Did you see them?” You asked, your voice quiet and hoarse.

Pete let out a sigh, “Yeah, I saw them.” He paused, his hold on you getting tighter, like he was making sure you couldn’t leave. “I’m sorry baby. I know you didn’t want it to be a whole big thing.”

You turned your head to face him, “It’s not that. I really don’t mind that people know. We weren’t trying to hide anything.”

He smiled, “Yeah, I know I just- it was nice having this to ourselves.”

He wanted to hide you. He’s embarrassed of you.

Your inner dialogue never seemed to shut up.

You turned away from Pete, trying to hide the tears forming in your eyes. “Yeah.” You whispered.

“What’s wrong, you’re still upset.” He rocked you in his arms, kissing the top of your head. You shrugged in response, not trusting yourself to talk. “You can talk to me, y’know.”

You nodded, leaning further into Pete’s chest. “People found my Instagram.” You murmured, looking down and tracing the arrow tattoo on his hand.

“Whaddya mean? I thought it was public?” He furrowed his eyebrows.

You sighed, wishing you hadn’t said anything. “Yeah, it is. But after all the articles people started following me and shit.”

“I would ask how that’s a problem but I deleted my Instagram so I can’t really talk.” You could tell he was trying to make you feel better, but you couldn’t seem to get out of your haze.

You shook your head, deciding to drop the matter. “It’s not, I’m just being overdramatic.” You sighed, putting on a fake smile and facing him fully. “Wanna watch a movie?” You asked, trying to change the topic.

He gave you the I-know-you’re-bullshitting-me look, which made you look down. “Something’s bothering you, Y/N. And you’re trying to pretend it doesn’t because you think your feelings aren’t valid, but they are.” He tilted his head, trying to meet your eyes that were still trained on the bedsheets below you.

“Where’d you learn that one?” You chuckled half-heartedly.

“Rehab part 2” he smiled, hand coming to your jaw to tilt your head up. “C’mon, talk to me. I wanna help.”

You huffed, moving towards the opposite side of the bed where your phone laid. You opened it, finding your Instagram, and showing him the comments. His eyebrows furrowed as he scrolled through the comments. When he decided he’d had enough he put your phone down, grabbing your waist and lifting you onto his lap so you were essentially straddling him.

He leaned his forehead against your own, your noses touching. “That’s all bullshit, you know that, right?”

You looked down, biting your lip. “Y/N you’re the most amazing, most beautiful woman I’ve ever met, okay? I’m in love with you, not anyone else.” Pete’s eyes were searching yours, trying to figure out what was going on in your head.

“I know.” You sighed, “It’s just hard to be with you and not compare myself to her. And then all these people started to do it too, and they kept saying that you could do so much better and you can. So, I dunno I guess I just kind of spiraled.”

Pete captured your lips in a long, passionate kiss. “Y/N. There is literally no better than you. I can’t do better because you are the best woman I have ever loved. “

You pulled Pete in for another kiss. “Thank you, Pete. I love you.”

“I love you too. If this happens again, I want you to call me. I don’t care what I’m doing, I’d drop it all for you.” You smiled, sitting in the arms of the guy you loved. The thoughts didn’t just magically go away, but for a brief moment in time, you were happy.

#pete davidson #pete davidson imagine #pete davidson x reader #pete davidson angst #pete davidson fluff

[oliveiraveiro]

Control

Open Heart, Rafael Aveiro x F!MC

Additional Rafael scene after the events of Book 2, Chapter 12 in which Casey seeks comfort from Rafael after the funeral.

rating: teen & up / words: 2117

note: a great day to raf stans only <3 this is my offering so we can all pretend ohsy doesn’t exist

Casey could swear she can hear her own heartbeat as she waited for someone to answer the door. Throughout the memorial, as well as in the past few days, she has done really well in putting up a brave face.

But after today… after Jackie, the strongest person she knew, broke down crying in front of her and fell asleep listening to her breathing… the gravity of losing two good people who were her friends finally hit her. And when she thinks about how she almost died too, how he almost died… she cannot help but to want to scream and cry and punch something all at the same time.

It is late at night, and she knows at the back of her mind that knocking at Juliana’s door at this time is too impolite. But she must see him. She just needs a reminder too that he is alive and breathing, that although she lost him before, he is not gone like Danny and Bobby.

Before she can focus on feeling like something is gripping her heart again as she thinks about them, Juliana finally opens the door. Her doubts about coming tonight completely turn into regret as she sees her looking sleepy in her nightgown, but before she can apologize and attempt to just leave, the older woman gives her a kind, sad smile and immediately motions her to come inside.

“Don’t worry, you didn’t wake me. Raf couldn’t sleep either.” Juliana thankfully says before she can fumble with her words. She is relieved that she is awake, but to hear that Rafael also was… Casey swallows the lump in her throat, willing herself not to tear up. “The room on the right upstairs.”

Casey simply gives her a grateful smile before she goes without hugging her or speaking a word because she knows she only needs one comforting touch for the dam holding back her tears to give out and break. She quietly runs up the stairs, then softly knocks at the familiar door of Rafael’s childhood room. A second passes then she hears an invitation to come in.

With a deep breath she opens the door, steps inside the room, then closes it behind her. She gives Rafael time to take in that she was here. She watches her own hand at the doorknob for another second before she turns and finally meets his gaze.

Rafael is sat up on his bed in a white T-shirt and gray sweats. Apart from looking like he recently woke up from a coma, it was very obvious that he had been crying. Casey watches him set something down on the side table as she walks towards him, and as soon as she realized it was the photobooth picture of them along with Sienna and Danny from the carnival, there was no stopping the dam from breaking.

She reaches for the photo but fails to take it as she falls to her knees after a violent sob. Casey cries, a hand holding onto Rafael’s knee for support as she lets out all that she has been keeping deep inside.

He quickly joins her on the floor, pulling her close to him so she can cry on his chest. He stopped crying almost half an hour ago, already thinking that there were probably no tears left in him, but the agony in Casey’s sobs has tears streaming down his face yet again.

To think that she was feeling the same torment as him. The same guilt, the same mourning, the same feeling of absolute helplessness. He holds her tight, wishing he can shield her from all the pain. But sadly, and extremely ironically, the way for them to process their grief is to first drown in it.

And so that is what they do. Like being near death’s doorstep hand by hand, they do it together.

For the first time, Casey lets herself feel. She lets herself feel beyond terrified thinking about what happened to them. She wallows in her grief for Danny and Bobby. She accepts the anger she has for Travis, for Senator Farrugia, for this unfair, cruel world. She lets her love for Sienna overwhelm her. The same with her love for Rafael. She takes in the guilt that she is relieved that he did not die too. That she did not. She lets all of it overcome her because Rafael is here to pull her back up to the surface.

Rafael also lets himself sink to the deepest end of his sorrow. He lets himself realize that all he can do right now is accept things as they are. That while he might be heroic, he is not a superhero who can and will save everyone all the time. And as terrifying this fact is, sometimes all he can do is save himself.

It did not seem like either of them could stop crying, but after maybe an hour Rafael was relieved to realize that sobs no longer wracked Casey’s body. He moves one of his arms, starting to gently rub her back.

Casey moves after another minute, wiping her face and sniffing, sitting next to Rafael so he could also change his position.

He looked even more of a mess now, and judging his ruined shirt, she knows she only looked worse. “Raf…” Casey starts, but was unable to continue without her lips trembling once again.

Rafael gives her hand a squeeze, pressing a gentle kiss on her lips, then another that lingers a second longer. “I know, Casey.” He answers softly before getting the both of them up and making her sit on the bed. He gets her some tissues and a glass of water from his desk and later they both lay on their backs on his bed, both comfortable and comforted by silence and each other’s presence.

Rafael was now just thinking about how warm his fresh shirt was, but Casey’s thoughts are still far away from the room.

“They’re gone, Raf. They’re really gone.” Casey finally speaks a sentence. “When we go back to Edenbrook, Bobby and Danny won’t be there.”

She spoke with such finality that Rafael feels like his face has been splashed with ice cold water. He struggles to take in a full breath of air, but he finds her hands and again he gives it a squeeze, their fingers interlocking. “They’re gone,” he agrees.

Casey looks over at Rafael, and he meets her gaze almost immediately. “But we’re still here.”

“We are.” This time Rafael answers without missing a beat. “And we’re gonna make it count. If not for ourselves, for the people who love us.”

“And Danny and Bobby?”

“Especially them.” Rafael agrees again, turning on his side to face Casey, and she follows suit.

She looks up into his eyes, then steals a glance at his lips. He smiles a little and slowly leans in to meet her lips with his, and they share a gentle, comforting kiss.

They pull away after a while, Rafael pressing another kiss on top of Casey’s head, and he pulls her close to him again.

“Did Sora ever come to visit?” Casey asks almost immediately, and despite being emotionally spent, Rafael finds it in him to laugh softly.

“Really? Right after our great kiss?” He gives her a small grin, to which she only smiles sheepishly. “She visited right after I was discharged.”

“What did she say?” Casey wraps an arm around his torso, cuddling closer. Despite now feeling numb with all that has happened, her heart flutters at how much she missed being this close to him and how safe it feels in his arms.

“She apologized for breaking up with me when she did.” Rafael lightly massages Casey’s shoulder with one hand.

“Did she want to take you back?” Casey was worried to ask despite being laid next to him in his bed right now.

“No. I think we both finally realized we both rushed into something we didn’t really want.” He sighs. “If I could just go back…” He starts, but then trails off. If the past few days and their recent crying session taught him something, it is that this kind of thinking is not going to help him or anyone.

“Listen, Casey, I know I can’t go back and change anything that already happened. But I just want you to know that I’m gonna do all that I can to make it up to you.”

Casey blinks slowly, biting on her lip. She was already in so much pain; she did not need to revisit how it felt like when Rafael left her. Granted, it already felt like forever ago, with all that has happened. But still… she has to know why he left.

“Why did you do it, Raf?” She asks, voice small. “I… I know we weren’t officially together, but we were dating. It was special-- at least I thought it was. Why did you leave me?”

Rafael takes a deep breath. “You’re gonna hate me.” He does not even need to look to know that Casey already had a frown, but he continues. “I didn’t really have a real reason. It’s like… something made me get back together with Sora. As soon as she got back to Boston she came here to visit Juliana when I was also over. When I opened the door and saw her, my childhood sweetheart, visiting my vovo at the same time I did, it felt like… fate, if you will. I just-- I had this voice in my mind telling me I should pursue her again.”

Casey still furrowed her eyebrows. Rafael, like always, is too honest, but after months of second-guessing herself, she finally knew the truth. She is conflicted if it was comforting or infuriating that it was not even about her.

“You didn’t… it wasn’t- about me? Or about us?” Her shaky voice told the both of them what she really felt.

“I’m sorry, Casey.” Rafael clenched his jaw. “If I could take it back, if I could somehow go back and make myself realize how much I loved you before I ended things between us…” he sighed deeply. “Up to this day I still regret that I only realized how very important you were to me when I already lost you. God, after I left you.”

She swallows, letting herself take a moment to process that. There was too much to unpack: suddenly she knows Rafael loved her and thought she was very important to him.

“What is this now, Raf? What are we doing here?” After a long moment, Casey asks.

“If you just need someone to lean on, Casey, I’m the perfect person. Not only because I’ve been through what you’ve been through… it’s the least I can do and want to do for you.” He starts. “If you just want that… that’s okay, and I’m here for you no matter what. But if you’ll still have me, Case, despite what I did and my reason for it… I want to give us another chance. We both lost so much, and I think it’s only fitting we start building our lives again together.”

Casey plays with her bottom lip, again taking a minute to let that sink in. Exhaustion is finally taking over her, and judging Raf’s sleepy voice despite his declaration of feelings, he is obviously tired as well. Casey pulled away a little so she can look up at Rafael, only able to ask, “You don’t have another childhood sweetheart I have to worry about? Because I swear I won’t be so nice the next time you leave me for no reason.”

He chuckles. “I won’t be living that down any time soon, am I?”

“You won’t be living it down, ever.” Casey grins.

“Well… as long as you take me back, I really won’t be in the position to complain.” Rafael holds Casey’s face with one hand, rubbing her cheek gently and smiling, eyes fluttering sleepily.

How absolutely adorable and lovable he looked made her kiss him again. It was way too gentle than their usual kisses, but right now it was perfect. Innocent, honest, genuine. “Get some sleep, my boyfriend who absolutely cannot break up with me for an ex-girlfriend from high school.” She presses another soft kiss on his lips once more.

“You won’t leave before I wake up?” Raf asks, pulling Casey’s body close to him again.

“I won’t if you promise not to break up with me for an ex partner from college or from work either.”

Again he laughs softly, eyes fluttering close. “I promise, Casey. I’ll love you and make you feel loved each day. I promise.” He whispers goodnight.

#rafael aveiro #rafael aveiro x mc #rafael x mc #open heart fanfiction #open heart #choices open heart #choices #choices stories you play #playchoices

[mikauzoran]

Adrienette: Serendipity: Fifty Marichat and Adrienette Kisses: Kiss Twenty-Six

Read it on AO3: Serendipity: Fifty Marichat and Adrienette Kisses: ...lazily.

“I have an idea,” Marinette announced as they sat at the kitchen table staring down at the chessboard between them.

“I should hope so;” Adrien snickered, “otherwise, I’m going to checkmate you in two moves.”

“No.” She looked up. “I meant…about your father.”

Adrien quirked an eyebrow, puzzled. “Ohime-sama, I’m afraid you’re going to have to be a bit more specific. Are we talking about how my father is controlling or how he’s too busy to be bothered with me or the fact that he doesn’t want us to go public about our relationship or that he’s too hung up on my mom still to admit that he has feelings for Nathalie or—”

“—About his opposition to us publicly dating,” she cut him off before he could really get started. “I can see his points about people accusing me of gold-digging and trying to get an advantage in the fashion industry, and I know that he’s right that it will be a lot of unwanted attention for me and I’ll probably get hate mail from your fans and people will invade my privacy and all that, but…I also know how important it is to you for us to be official so we can attend events as a couple and go on over-the-top romantic dates and get some of your rabid admirers to simmer down.”

“So what are you thinking?” he prompted, head tipping to the side in curiosity.

Her mouth stretched into an impish smirk. “We force his hand.”

He went owl-eyed at the thought of getting Gabriel Agreste to do anything he didn’t want to do. “Oh? And how are we going to accomplish that?”

“We get the media to declare us a couple. It’s not our fault if people see us out together and make assumptions,” she reasoned innocently.

A wide grin spread across Adrien’s lips. “Like that time we went to see my mom’s movie together.”

“Only not in my pyjamas this time,” Marinette groaned, remembering the months of humiliation she’d suffered through as a young teen.

“Your pyjamas were adorable,” he assured. “I saved those pictures of us, you know.”

She lost her train of thought as she gaped at him. “You did?”

“Mmhm.” He nodded with an embarrassed smile, cheeks warming. “I mean, it was really a big deal that you ditched your plans with the girls to help me get to the theatre to see the movie. It meant a lot to me, and I enjoyed running around Paris with you. That day was full of good memories, so I wanted a souvenir…. And…I mean…as previously discussed, I think I’ve always been a little bit in love with you, even if I didn’t know it, so…”

He looked up and shrugged, the picture of cherubic wholesomeness.

“You are the most precious,” Marinette cooed, leaning forward to kiss him and knocking over the chess pieces in the process.

When they pulled back, they looked down at the carnage of pawns, rooks, knights, and bishops.

“Well, I mean…you were going to checkmate me in two moves anyway,” Marinette reasoned. “Let’s just say that you won.”

Adrien pursed his lips, deliberating for a moment before deciding, “That’s fair. So what’s your grand plan to get the media to declare us dating?”

“Well…” Marinette quickly set the chess pieces back up in their starting positions and got out her phone. “Take a selfie with me.”

“O…kay.” He shrugged and did what she asked, smiling brightly and wrapping an arm around her, head tipping in towards hers, even though he wasn’t sure what this had to do with the plan.

Marinette quickly uploaded the picture to her Instagram and added the caption, “Hanging out with my good friend @adrienagrestebrand”.

She turned to him and smiled toothily. “We play innocent, but if enough pictures of us in couple-like situations start circulating online, people will talk. If enough people talk, it will eventually become something your father will have to publicly address. Maybe he’ll go on the record as saying that we’re not a couple, but if pictures of us acting like a couple keep popping up, no one will believe him, and we win.”

Adrien’s eyes went as wide as his smile as he shook his head and beamed at his ingenious girlfriend. “You are the most clever, amazing person ever. This is wonderful, Marinette!”

“I’m glad you approve,” she chuckled, looking pleased with herself. “I know it’s been bothering you this past month, us still being a secret and not able to publicly date, so…I’ve been trying to come up with a solution.”

He took her hands in his and gave them a squeeze, staring into her eyes with pure adoration. “Ohime-sama, you are the best. I don’t know what I did to deserve you.”

A hint of concern came into his gaze, turning his exhilarated expression into a worried frown. “…Are you sure you want to do this, though?” he inquired tentatively, not wanting to dissuade her but knowing that he had to be honest. “My father does have a point about people who are going to invade your privacy and send you death threats and call you an opportunist gold digger. Life in the public eye kind of sucks, and I don’t want you diving into this for my sake thinking that it’s going to be okay because it’s not, Marinette. Dating me and dealing with all of that is going to be awful and scary and—”

“—It’s not dating you that’s going to be bad,” she quickly corrected. “Dealing with your fans and the media is what’s going to be awful. Dating you is a dream come true, Adrien, and definitely worth whatever I have to put up with.”

“Oh,” he breathed, stunned by the certainty of her response.

“I’m sure about this,” she insisted with a dazzling smile. “You are one of the few things in my life I’ve always been sure about.”

“Oh,” he repeated, his face hurting he was smiling so hard.

She leaned in to give his cheek a kiss. “I’m going to work with our friends to make this happen. We’ll hit it really hard throughout the week, and, then, next Saturday we’ll strike the finishing blow. You’re free for the day until your interview with Nadja in the evening, right?”

He blinked at her curiously. “Yeah. Why?”

 The following day, Marinette kidnapped Adrien to take Jagged Stone’s crocodile Fang out for a walk around the Square de la Tour Saint-Jacques. They took photos cuddling Fang on one of the blue benches with the tower in the background and Fang licking their faces and them laughing together and posted them on their Instagrams with tags talking about how fun it was spending time with such a good friend.

Jagged took some pictures and posted them on social media too, and the general public got plenty of shots of Adrien Agreste and a girl who looked somewhat familiar even if they couldn’t place her walking a famous crocodile.

Monday, Alya just so happened to take some pictures of Chat Noir for the Ladyblog that captured Marinette and Adrien having a picnic in the Place des Vosges in the background.

That same day, Adrien’s Instagram featured photos of the macarons from the picnic and a shoutout to Tom and Sabine’s.

Tuesday, Marinette and Adrien posted photos of their Chemistry study session along with captions about how learning was more fun with a friend.

Wednesday, Chloé posted photos of her newest Queen Bee-inspired manicure with the Pont des Arts as the background.

Clearly, between Chloé’s thumb and index finger, Adrien and Marinette could be seen standing at the railing of the bridge, laughing and smiling at something one or the other had said.

Thursday, Kitty Section updated their website to include new pictures in their photo gallery. One didn’t have to look all that closely to spot Marinette and Adrien in the background.

He had his arms around her as they stood at the keyboard and he positioned her hands to show her how to play the instrument.

Jagged Stone and Clara Rossignol included links to the Kitty Section site in Twitter posts.

Friday, an anonymous source sent a picture of Adrien and Marinette sitting on the school steps, holding hands to the president of Adrien’s fanclub, and “#Who is Adrien’s New Girlfriend?!” started trending.

 On Saturday, Adrien met Marinette at the Trocadero for the grand finale.

“So, what’s the plan, Boss?” he greeted as she came trotting up to him.

“I’m finally going to take you on that ridiculously romantic date you’ve always wanted,” she informed as she touched her cheek to his for the usual air kisses to either side of his face.

“You’re going to what now?” He stared at her in amazement, afraid to believe that the day had actually come.

Just then, a pedicab pulled up to the curb, and Marinette smirked. “Our ride’s here.”

Adrien’s jaw dropped. “We’re going on a romantic rickshaw bicycle ride?”

She laughed fondly at the excitement on his face and nodded. “Yep. Come take a selfie and post it on your Instagram with a caption about how you’re spending the day with one of your best friends and you’re so glad that we’re friends and all that.”

Adrien happily acquiesced.

Their pedicab took them down along the Seine and past the Grand Palais, Petit Palais, Place de la Concorde, Tuileries, and the Louvre on their way to the Pont des Arts.

Adrien took a few more shots for his Instagram en route, including several with his arm around Marinette’s shoulders, their faces close together to fit in the frame.

“You know,” Marinette chuckled as she snuggled up to Adrien, “I’ve had this romantic bike ride scenario planned out for years now.”

“What?” he laughed incredulously. “Seriously?”

“Yes.” She gave his arm a light smack. “I seriously have. Remember my ridiculous crush on you?”

“I still can’t believe you liked me,” Adrien snickered, shaking his head in awe. “I could have had you this whole time if I weren’t such an oblivious dimwit.”

“Be nice,” Marinette scolded.

“No,” Adrien pouted. “I’m seriously angry at myself. If I had gotten a clue back then, I could have had the most awesome girlfriend on the face of the planet. Instead, I spent my youth feeling like an unlovable screwup. I will never forgive myself,” he snorted, only half joking.

Marinette leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss to his jaw. “You’re very lovable and definitely not a screwup,” she whispered, hoping their cyclist-driver was concentrating on the road and the music playing through his earbuds rather than their conversation.

“Tell me about this romantic bicycle ride scheme fourteen-year-old Marinette came up with,” Adrien entreated. “That will cheer me up and make me forget what a loser I am. I love fourteen-year-old Marinette’s schemes. They’re brilliant. Marino is my favourite so far.”

Marinette cringed. “Fourteen-year-old Marinette’s schemes were horrendous, shameful failures…but if it’ll make you feel better… The plan was for Alya, Rose, Juleka, Mylène, and Alix to help me make it so that your bodyguard couldn’t park where he was supposed to pick you up after a photoshoot.”

Adrien arched an eyebrow and gave her a devious smile. “And then you were going to lie in wait for me to sweep me off my feet with a romantic rickshaw bicycle ride?”

Marinette nodded, shrugging hopelessly. “We were going to ride to the Pont des Arts to get soulmate ice cream from André, and Alix was going to throw rose petals to create the right atmosphere.”

“I would have loved that,” Adrien whispered, touched that she had put so much thought and effort into a surprise for him.

Marinette shook her head. “You would have had fun, but you wouldn’t have appreciated it as much as you do now. You didn’t see me in a romantic light back then, so it just would have been a memorable outing with a friend.”

Adrien reached down and slipped his hand into hers. “You have no idea how special all those times spent hanging out with you were to me. I grew up bored and lonely, so your friendship really was—is—a precious gift. Things don’t have to be seen in a romantic light to be meaningful…and it would have really meant a lot to take a bike ride and get ice cream with you.”

“Oh,” she breathed softly, admiring the soft glow he seemed to emit. She nodded, feeling like she understood better now.

“So what happened with the scheme?” He pulled her attention back to the present. “Why didn’t I get my romantic rickshaw ride and André’s ice cream?”

Marinette sighed. “Oh. I don’t know. Maybe the plan was a little too overly complicated. There was some miscommunication. Things didn’t play out the way I’d planned. There was an akuma attack. You know. The usual.”

Adrien winced. “Ouch. I’m sorry. That really sucks, especially when you put so much effort into planning everything.”

“Oh, it gets worse,” Marinette groaned. “I ran into you after the akuma attack, and you offered to give me a ride…and I told you no because I was going to get couscous.”

He stared at her openmouthed. “Seriously?”

“Seriously,” she grumbled bitterly.

He tried not to laugh but ultimately failed. “I don’t remember this at all.”

“Thank God for small mercies,” she mumbled. “I hated myself for days after that.”

“You really couldn’t talk to me at all, could you?” he snickered, wiping the tears from the corners of his eyes.

“Nope,” she sighed. “Mere proximity to you made my verbal eloquence plummet. It’s a wonder you didn’t think I was some insane weirdo from all the stuff I said to you.”

He shrugged, pulling her in closer and nuzzling her hair. “I thought I made you nervous because you respected my father’s work. Sure, you seemed a little quirky, but I didn’t really know how people were supposed to behave because I hadn’t been around people my age before. I saw you act normal around other people, so I knew it was a problem with me or something. The Marinette I saw interacting with other people was really cool and selfless and brave. I admired you and wanted us to be better friends.”

Marinette blew out a long breath, shaking her head. “Oh, my sweet, sweet bean. You’re too precious. Too pure for this earth…. Thank you for being you.”

“Right back at you.” He gave her an affectionate squeeze.

 The pedicab stopped and let them off at the Pont des Arts so that they could get André’s sweetheart ice cream and take a selfie with it and the love locks secured to the bridge railing and light posts.

Adrien captioned the photo, “There’s nothing better than sharing ice cream with a friend”.

Marinette giggle-snorted. “Yep. Nothing romantic going on here. Just platonic friends who happen to enjoy sharing ice cream intended for couples on the most romantic bridge in the City of Love.”

“I actually think the Pont Alexandre III is the most romantic bridge in Paris, especially at night when it’s all lit up,” Adrien remarked. “The footbridges over the Canal Saint-Martin are really quaint and romantic too.”

Marinette hummed in thought, mentally storing Adrien’s feedback for use at a later date.

“We should get a picture of us feeding ice cream to one another,” Adrien snickered, going to sit on one of the benches. “Do you think that would be laying it on a little thick?”

“No, that’s perfect,” she assured, joining him. “Here. Say ‘ah’.”

It was then that they noticed the passersby documenting the romantic moment and sharing it online for them.

“Want to go someplace more private?” he suggested.

She shook her head. “It’s okay. They’re not hurting anything, and the whole point is to be visible.”

He bit the inside of his cheek. “So long as you’re okay with the attention.”

She smiled, lightly touching his hand. “Thanks, Adrien.”

He returned the smile with a wink. “Any time, Ohime-sama.”

After they finished their ice cream, they headed to the Pont Neuf station and took the Métro, getting off at Jussieu.

They walked hand-in-hand to the Jardin des Plantes, stopping to look in shop windows and browse through the boxes of old books on the tables outside of shops.

When they got to the park, they strolled leisurely, admiring the autumn foliage and enjoying one another’s company.

“I wish our cat were here,” Marinette sighed with a wistful smile as she looked up at the changing leaves.

“Nyan-chan would like today’s date,” Adrien affirmed, giving her hand a squeeze. “He’d be happy to know you’re missing him even though you’re with someone as magnificent and funny as me.”

Marinette broke out in a laugh.

“Did I mention my charming personality?” Adrien added with an eyebrow waggle.

“Are you jealous, Beau Gosse?” she snickered, bumping his shoulder with her own.

“Why would I be?” Adrien pouted. “It’s not like the woman I love is thinking about other men when she’s with me or anything.”

Marinette shook her head, still laughing. “You can whine to your cat boyfriend about it tonight when he comes over for snuggling.”

“Oh, believe me. I will,” he snorted. “Hey. What do you think of a picture of us holding hands? Maybe just a picture of our clasped hands? Is that too heavy-handed?”

Marinette groaned. “You’re just as bad as Chat Noir with puns.”

 Their next and final stop was across the street from the Jardin des Plantes at the restaurant attached to the Grande Mosquée de Paris where they ordered vegetable couscous to share along with the restaurant’s famed mint tea and a sampler platter of their savory desserts.

“I think this is the best couscous I’ve ever had,” Marinette moaned happily, shoveling another spoonful into her mouth.

Adrien laughed into his napkin, snapping a picture of her for his own private consumption. “Nino did say that they have really legit food here. He said that his mom’s home cooking is better but that this place tastes like the food he eats when visiting family in Morocco.”

Marinette hummed appreciatively through her full mouth, and Adrien shook his head. “I’m going to post a picture of you pigging out and gush about how radiant my good friend Marinette is while enjoying a good meal.”

She glared at him, her narrowed eyes threatening bodily harm.

“I’m sorry, but you are so cute when you’re stuffing your face. Like a chipmunk,” he defended himself.

Marinette swallowed and replied. “Wow. Way to make a girl feel unsexy, Agreste.”

Adrien winced. “Sorry. I was just playing. You’re adorable, Marinette. Did I ruin everything?”

With a sigh, Marinette got up and went to sit on the bench seat beside him, fishing out her phone. “Smile, Bishi,” she teased, using Chat Noir’s nickname for Adrien, her voice husky in his ear.

Her free hand slipped down to give his knee a squeeze, and the resulting picture showed Marinette smiling puckishly at the camera while Adrien was captured in the middle of his turn to look at her with a flustered expression.

“I like the face you’re making,” she chuckled as she reviewed the photo. “You look like I just made some obscene suggestion and you’re equal parts horrified and intrigued.”

“I’m glad you’re having fun pushing my buttons.” Adrien sighed, shaking his head with a fond smile.

They took another picture, one with them both smiling innocently even though Marinette was practically sitting in Adrien’s lap. They included a few pictures of the food and made sure to rave about how good it was and what a nice time they were having together as friends.

 Adrien had barely walked in the door when Nathalie descended upon him.

“Your father isn’t pleased,” she reported blandly, the hint of a grin hovering in the corner of her mouth. “Did you have fun today? You and Miss Dupain-Cheng look very happy together.”

Adrien beamed. “I did. And we are. Thank you, Nathalie.”

A smile flickered across Nathalie’s lips, there one second and gone the next, replaced by her usual impassive expression. “Back to business. Your father isn’t pleased.”

“Where is my father anyway?” Adrien sighed, glancing at the atelier door.

“London,” she supplied. “He had to leave this morning to attend to the closing of a deal in person.”

“He didn’t even say goodbye,” Adrien grumbled, heading for his room to change for the interview with Nadja scheduled that evening.

Nathalie followed to pick out a suitable outfit.

“It was a last-minute trip,” she offered, pretending that that was a sufficient excuse, that this wasn’t just the latest installment in the trend of Gabriel floating in and out of Adrien’s life without stopping to actually be a part of it.

“Oh. I see,” Adrien replied disinterestedly, pretending that it didn’t hurt to be so insignificant.

Nathalie pursed her lips. “…What was your favourite thing that you did today?”

Adrien’s smile came back as he launched into a recap of the pedicab ride and how much it meant to him that Marinette had been planning romantic surprises for him all along.

Nathalie conveniently forgot to bring up the fact that Gabriel wanted to talk to Adrien before the interview. She later apologized profusely to Gabriel for letting it slip her mind. She told him that they’d been in too much of a rush to get Adrien to the studio and get him through hair and makeup.

All the way there, she kept Adrien talking about his eventful day, distracting him from the reality that was his relationship (or lack thereof) with his father.

  “So…Adrien,” Nadja purred toward the end of the interview. “Judging from your Instagram, you had an eventful date today.”

Adrien made his eyes go wide, pretending to be surprised at her word choice.

“Tell us all about your girlfriend, Marinette Dupain-Cheng,” she prompted, leaning forward in her seat.

Adrien blushed and rubbed at the back of his neck. “Oh, that wasn’t a date. Marinette and I were just hanging out. She’s a good friend; we’re not officially dating.”

Nadja’s perfectly waxed eyebrow inched up, and she shot him a look of clear disbelief. “I don’t mean to imply that you’re lying, Adrien, but we have some candids from your outing.”

Behind them, a slideshow of all the soft looks Adrien had directed Marinette’s way that day began to play.

“Do you look at all your friends with such a gooey, lovesick expression?” she challenged.

Adrien laughed and shook his head. “You misunderstand me. I said that Marinette and I aren’t officially a couple. I never said I wasn’t head over heels in love with her.”

Nadja’s mouth dropped open, and her eyes lit up.

Adrien could practically see her getting ready to pounce on the scoop he’d just served her.

Nadja turned to the camera. “You heard it here first, ladies and gentlemen: Paris’s most eligible bachelor, Adrien Agreste, in love!” She whipped back around to Adrien. “Tell us all about her. What do you like about Marinette? What about her made you fall in love?”

He averted his gaze, smiling bashfully. “Well…I mean…we’ve been friends since I started school, and Marinette has always been…just…wonderful. Everything about her is wonderful. She’s smart, funny, selfless, thoughtful, clever, a good leader… I’ve admired her for a long time. …And, obviously, she’s gorgeous, but, if you’ve got functioning eyes, you can tell that much on your own. It’s her personality that really made me fall for her, her compassion, her enthusiasm, her kindness. I think I’ve been a little bit in love with her from the very beginning; it just took me a while to realize that the way I felt about her wasn’t just admiration and friendship.”

“Have you told her how you feel?” Nadja pressed.

Adrien nodded. “In the spring…but she was seeing someone else at the time.”

Nadja winced. “Ouch.”

“Yeah,” Adrien chuckled self-deprecatingly. “Ouch is right.”

“But what about now?” she prompted. “The way you phrased that she was seeing someone else in the spring sort of implied that she’s free now. Why aren’t you two dating?”

Adrien frowned, his face flipping through a series of conflicted expressions, making it seem as if he were reluctant to answer. “…Well…my father doesn’t think it’s a good idea.”

Nadja’s eyes narrowed. “Your father won’t let you date the woman you love?”

Adrien waved his hands hastily, trying to correct her. “No, no! It’s not like that. My father hasn’t forbidden me from dating her or anything. It’s just…he’s concerned. Marinette has always wanted to be a fashion designer, and she’s a fan of my father’s work, so Father is afraid of what people might say about her for dating me. Marinette is extremely talented, and Father doesn’t want her talent discounted or questioned because people think she’s receiving preferential treatment or using me to advance her career. He’s concerned that overzealous fans might invade her privacy or start sending her hate mail or something crazy like that,” Adrien explained.

Nadja nodded, letting Adrien continue of his own volition, not wanting to interrupt.

“My father cares about me a lot. He’s very protective of me, so…he doesn’t think it’s a good idea for Marinette and me to date, and I can see his reasoning. I couldn’t live with myself if something happened to Marinette because of me…but…at the same time…” He sighed and looked away.

“At the same time?” Nadja encouraged gently.

Adrien shook his head and shrugged. “The past few years have been really hard for my family…since my mother disappeared, I mean. My parents were soulmates, so I know Mother’s disappearance was a huge blow to Father. I know it’s been really hard raising me without her. I remind him of her, so it’s difficult for him to be around me sometimes.”

Nadja frowned, heart aching as she thought of her own child.

“I understand, of course,” Adrien stressed. “But even though I understand, it’s still hard. …And Father’s always so busy with work. His company is important to him. He’s really passionate about designing, and I’m happy that he still has something he loves that much, even though Mother is gone…but I’m alone a lot,” he sighed, looking down at his hands.

“That must be rough for you,” Nadja whispered.

Adrien nodded. “It’s easy to get discouraged when you’re lonely…” He looked up and gave her and the viewers a weak smile. “…but I have a lot of really great friends like Marinette now that I attend public schooling. Their friendship helps a lot…. I still would like to try dating, though,” he added sheepishly. “I’ve always dreamed of finding the kind of love that my parents have.”

Nadja gave a little “Aww”, smiling wide because she knew that her viewership would be eating this up.

“I think Marinette might be the one for me,” Adrien confided, and then his expression turned sad with a hint of longing. “…But I know that my father knows best and that he only wants what’s best for me. Maybe there will come a day when Marinette and I can be together, but I can’t ask her to wait for me, so…”

He gave a helpless shrug.

 They had scarcely made it home when Gabriel called to give Adrien a dressing down, faulting Adrien for coming across as childish, naïve, whiney, and ungrateful.

Adrien took the chastisement with a bowed head and muttered apologies.

He retired to his room for the night where he showered, changed, and headed out to give Alya an interview with Chat Noir.

“Adrien is the sweetest human being I have ever met,” Chat insisted into Alya’s phone camera. “He’s letting his father control his life, and that’s not okay. He’ll be an adult in six months. He should be free to make his own decisions. If he loves Marinette, he shouldn’t have to have his father’s permission to date her.”

“Ladybug said nearly the same thing,” Alya snickered.

Chat blinked dumbly for a beat or two. “She did? You talked to Ladybug about this?”

Alya nodded, still filming. “She left about fifteen minutes before you got here. I had just posted her video on my blog when you arrived. Ladybug is a staunch supporter of Adrienette.”

“…I did not know that,” Chat chuckled, cheeks heating up in pleasure and embarrassment at the thought of his first love adamantly shipping him and his girlfriend.

 By the next morning, #Let Adrienette Date was already trending, and Gabriel was getting strongly worded emails about his interfering with the course of true love.

A protest spontaneously manifested outside the Agreste Mansion.

Adrien’s fanclub mobilized to do anything and everything to ensure that their prince got his happy ending, even if they weren’t entirely certain that Marinette was worthy of him.

Marinette got her first death threat, but the threat was concerning if she ever broke Adrien’s heart and not about her dating him in the first place, so she took cold comfort in that.

Gabriel returned from London Tuesday morning to be met with the madness that was an unstoppable force hell bent on seeing his son in a relationship with the woman he loved.

Gabriel persevered.

Adrien played innocent.

Adrien was grounded.

Chat Noir and Ladybug spoke out about the unfairness of the grounding and Gabriel’s attempts to keep Adrienette apart.

The mob was incensed.

Gabriel stock plummeted.

 On Saturday night, Adrien posted a picture on his Instagram of him leisurely kissing Marinette on her living room couch. The caption read, “Look who’s un-grounded and hanging out with his GIRLFRIEND! Thank you all so much for your love and support. #Adrienette #True Love Wins”.

#Adrinette #Adrienette #Marichat #Miraculous Ladybug #Miraculous Ladybug Fanfiction #Adrien Agreste #Chat Noir #Marinette Dupain-Cheng #Kissing #Writing Prompts #Mikau's Writings #Serendipity: Fifty Marichat and Adrienette Kisses

[huffypuffwudgie]

A Court of Thorns and Roses - Fancast

Ok, so hear me out. I just finished A Court of Frost & Starlight and am in serious withdrawl. So, naturally, I started googling info about the casting of this movie and it appears that it's in the works. But as with every series I've ever loved, none of the picks are lining up with what I've got pictured in my head. So, I'm taking it upon myself to do my own casting! And LET ME TELL YA, I'm asuaging the withdrawls with this research.

First in the lineup...

Feyre.

If Pheobe Tonkin got some glacial gray contacts, we'd be in business. She is the epitome of strength that Feyre portrays. After seeing her in tvd and the originals, I can't help but totally picture her pulling off Feyre without a hitch. All archs of her character.

Elain.

Ok, so. Here's the thing. When you think sweet, blue eyes, and brown hair, do you not immediately picture Alexis Bledel out in the garden and doting on her crippled father? Cause, I DO! It took me a second to find a good pick for Elain, but I truly believe she'd match that energy very well! Throughout the whole storyline.

Nesta.

When you read about Nesta standing, stone-still, with rage in her eyes, do you not get Claire Holt vibes? Because, I most DEFINTIELY do. Then, I friggin' found this instagram photo of Claire Holt with brown hair and it all fell into place. Agree to disagree, maybe, but I am voting for this one fooooooooor sure.

Tamlin.

So, I saw all of the Hemsworth bros support, and I gotta say... not doing it for me. But Alexander Skarsgard? With LONG HAIR? 100%. Just, picture it. Him prowling around his estate, forcing Feyre to stay put, doing shady things for love? PLUS the STEAMY biting-of-the-neck part after the rite? Mhhhhm, perfect fit. If not, sorry not sorry, this is for sure a winner for me.

Lucien.

Ok, but why have I not seen this idea yet? I read like 50 dream cast threads, and none of them had Domhnall Gleeson for Lucien. And my only question is, why? Tell me you can't see him anxiously checking on Elain and loyally sticking with Tamlin through all of his bad decisions? And Under the Mountain, coming to Feyre's aid when he could? CONVINCE ME.

Rhysand.

The one I am the most iffy to post. But do me a favor, go to Google, search "Henry Cavill Immortals" and just scroll through that gloriousness. Now, clean him up a little, add a few years, and viola! Rhysand reincarnate. Yes, no? Maybe not. Honestly, the Rhys I have in my head isn't a human on this planet. At least not one that I know of. And I just can't with anymore Somerhalder ships. I mean, at least Cavill is 6'. A solid 3+ inches on good ole' Ian. Never hate, just... Rhys needs something different. And after the Witcher, I can totally see Henry giving Rhys a convincing go.

Azriel.

Not gonna lie, this is the one I'm the MOST excited about. I feel like Tyler Hoechlin got a bad beat in Teen Wolf, and since hasn't really had any good breaks. But being the silent, brooding, impossibly deep shadowsinger? SIGN ME UP! Nuff said.

Cassian.

Alright, alright, I know. I know. Emmett vibes, so strong. But like, just stick with me: Kellan Lutz with a messy man-knot. Plus he's got very big commander of the Illyrian army energy, does he not? It was HARD to find an actual actor, who I've seen and think could pull it off for Cassian. Plus, I hope after Twilight and Immortals he's honed in his skills for this sort of thing. *shrug*

Mor.

Honestly, the moment I saw this photo of Natalie Dormer it screamed Morrigan. For me, at least. Can't you just see her sitting at the Court of Nightmares, stone cold and fierce, but laughing and being doted on by her Illyrian buds? Just me? Maybe, but I'm standing strong with this one.

Amren.

This one was D I F F I C U L T. But, like, can't you see her with the silver stormy eye thing, saying "Careful, Girl." Cause, I can. That's all.

This is just the base cast. If this gets any love, I may follow up with a part 2 with the extended characters! Already have my sights set on Charlize Theron for Amarantha. I mean, take the White Queen and give her some crimson red hair, and that's Amarantha right there.

Tell me what ya think! Be kind, I'm proud of these, but also open to options. Creative ones ;-).

#acotar #a court of thorns and roses #fancasting #dream cast #feyre #rhysand #tamlin #Feysand

[short-stories-club]

anonymous

It happened in November, on a cold Thanksgiving night. I hurried home in the rain and peered over that familiar but unwelcoming meadow that leads directly into the narrow strip of concrete which we called our driveway. The dirt road was wet and muddy, and my toes grew cold and damp through my thin shoes. Tonight was a frigid evening, one that makes your finger tips and extremities numb to the point where one’s dexterity is limited. I cut across the road and hiked atop the mound. My house peaked out at me slowly as I trekked over the hill whilst I quickly caught a glance at the driveway. I noticed that the unsightly old automobile was parked out front; beat up with the scratched paint like it always had. I wasn’t mistaken; he was here tonight, that vile creature I so hated to call my Father.

Aside from the surprise visitor, nothing was different or out of the norm about our landscape; grey, stiff and dead trees still filled the majority of space within the front yard with leaves scattered throughout from yesterday’s windy weather.  The property’s countenance remained consistent year around, and my mother never wanted to repair or fix the exterior of the home although it definitely needed it. This lack of upkeep with the property disturbed me, as it constantly reminded me of my Mother; she always put off her own problems at the expense of others. The ironic part of this situation was that we didn’t own a doormat, and I always joked that she likened herself to one so we didn’t need it.

I got inside and neatly put my shoes aside; I was relieved to finally dry my feet. Peering onto the wall next to my closet, I gazed upon one of my Mother’s favorite family photos. I looked into the quaint picture and studied my sister’s countenance. She was always so positive and full of life. The image jogged my memory; reminiscing on my childhood, I thought back about when father left. I was only 12 years old when this happened, and he left for another woman to top it all off. This was just 5 years after my older sister passed away in a car accident, and I often wondered if Father leaving was ultimately due to her death. He could have felt responsible since he was driving her that day. My older sister was father’s little dream girl; he favored her, undoubtedly, which is why I grew so close to mother and distanced myself from him growing up. Desperate I was as a child, I even hoped that her passing might make draw the two of us closer, but I learned early that having faith in him wasn’t a fruitful endeavor. Nonetheless, he sporadically visited throughout my teen years whenever he felt stimulated to do so. My grip tightened when I analyzed the portrait further; I glanced towards the still image of my father. I don’t remember specifically when I began to disdain my father, I always hated how he hurt mother, but the hatred grew deep as I got into high school. I disrespected my mother for so being so readily available for his presence, but she was a broken woman who couldn’t be fixed. She was truly so kind, forgiving and thoughtful when it came to others, yet self-negligence was her specialty.

“Hey, Damien!” my father yelled from the dinner table. I peered around the corner; he looked thinner and drunker than I remembered. “I haven’t seen you in a good year, why don’t you sit down at the dinner table and entertain some sweet conversation with your old man?” I stood there silent as I glanced at mother, who smiled faintly with her back to me as she stirred the soup. After a good couple seconds I replied “Why are you here? Did you tell mom you were coming?” He looked down, and took a deep breath and stood up. “You aren’t going to give me a warm welcome then, ha? Well… listen he-“My mother quickly interrupted him: “He called me to tell me something important before he came, some big news… he also wanted to tell you in person.” Her attempt to calm the mood was a success; I gazed at him ever so confused. What else did he do besides piss his days away with that whore he claimed? I was glad he left. My mother had been spared for the last 5 years from any beatings, and I was planning on it keeping it that way permanently. “What the hell are you talking about? What’s going on?” I couldn’t read him. I never really could anyway, but this time he unusually more timid. He abode almost bore a sense of grief. “Its crazy son... you’ve sure grown a ton. You’re probably taller than me now…”  His countenance softened as he sat back down, receiving my mother’s soup at the table. I was indeed taller than him now. I’d grown almost 4 inches this year. Quickly brushing the complement aside, I retained my composure and sat opposite him at the dinner table while my own bowl of soup was graciously donated. “Well you see Damien… I wanted to come see you in person to apologize… for how I’ve treated you and, well…your mother over the last few years. You see, uh, Cindy and I aren’t really seeing each other no more, and uh... Well, I’ve been diagnosed with cancer, it’s the shitty kind too... and I wanted to see you both and tell you in person I don’t have much more than a couple months left...”

I was stunned. My chest hurt and throbbed in disbelief. My mother started to tear up and went back to the sink. I couldn’t believe this outcome. How dare he? I hadn’t seen him in almost 2 years and he shows up to tell me this? Conversely, the idea of my father passing away hurt too; a deep part of me always wished things would have worked out for the better. My Father appeared the least big distracted and fully embraced the moment with us.  Nevertheless, my soul erupted with rage as the perception of the gesture was spoiled because of how he had been in the past. So many nights I wished our family hadn’t fallen apart, and that things could be reconciled someway, and this couldn’t simply serve as justification for all of the vile behavior our family witnessed because of his sins. I noticed the blank expression on both of my parent’s faces as they gazed upon me, wondering what I was going to do, or say next.

“You’re a coward...” I said with my head down. I didn’t want my expression to be noticed. “You had your whole life to live this out, yet you chose violence, selfishness, and addiction.” I struggled to articulate myself, careful not to be reckless with my words. He sat there wide eyed. I never saw a submissive countenance overcome the massive, burly figure of my father like this before. I had his full attention and it made me feel powerful. I continued “I couldn’t give two fucks… To me you aren’t a Father figure … you’re nothing but a vagabond who aimlessly moves around in life…also I won’t simply forget the multiple nights of bruising and violence I witnessed at your hand!” A violent passion overwhelmed me. I was upset; I was trying to hold back tears as well. I couldn’t convey the part of myself, of which was so deeply embedded, that wanted affection and acknowledgement from him. He deserved to be punished. There were so many emotions present at the tip of my tongue and I couldn’t find the lexicon to display it verbally. Physically, I was on the brink of violently writhing; Nonetheless, I couldn’t let this wretch see how badly he destroyed my psyche over the many years which comprised my childhood. I chose to conceal myself and put on a façade; I exemplified rage which was an attempt to obscure the ability of my father to apprehend my true countenance, which was one of sorrow and grief. I needed to finally become a man and confront my Father on his many shortcomings.

After a couple of chilling seconds, my father stood up and stared deep into my soul with a gaze that pierced through my proverbial barriers. I really pissed him off with those words. Perhaps he was calling my bluff; he was always able to intimidate me with relative ease, but this time I didn’t want to back down. I stood straight up, facing him with my shoulders square and fists clenched. After all, I was physically much larger now. It really didn’t surprise me that the sweet act lasted only for a moment. Being affectionate was like pulling teeth to him.

He seemed excited as he began walking slowly towards me with a look I’ve never quite seen before. This startled my mother, whom began running at him and took hold of his shoulder with haste; “Stop it! Don’t take another-“My Father abruptly froze as he aggressively grabbed my mother’s wrist. He always despised my mother for trying to alter his temperament. His blood shot eyes began to enlarge as he stiffened his body and took a different countenance immediately. He erupted, and exclaimed for her not to touch him as he swung his right palm with a mighty force towards her soft, delicate face. The sound was deafening as she slammed against the chair, ultimately breaking it, and crashed onto the pale floor. The raw, unhinged scene of violence that I just witnessed triggered me to new heights of dysfunctional behavior. I hadn’t seen this level of violence from my father; did he mean to kill us? I was surprised to new heights of confusion and fear, so I began to panic. Preemptive of his next move, I white-knuckled my dinner fork and swiftly thrust it into the upper region of his figure with all 180 pounds of my strength. I was careless of how much damage this could potentially cause him.

It wasn’t until a moment later I realized I landed a good shot on him. My weapon landed right below his throat area, above his collarbone. Time stood still; he immediately began fondling the sharp object stuck in his throat with desperation, which was about a couple of inches deep into his neck. He trembled, and appeared stunned. With his hands on the silverware, his eyes shifted momentarily, at the ceiling, then back at me. He seemed possessed if only I hadn’t noticed the expression in his eyes; all of his other bodily extremities were so preoccupied with the newly found hunk of metal sticking out of his throat that his eyes were the last physical vessel through which bore his true and utter terror. Those ugly pupils bled with such vile expressions as they bounced around the room, in and out of focus, trying to find a solution to the predicament which beheld him.

He bluntly pulled the fork out and began coughing, which sounded gargled and distorted. His body language regained familiarity, yet he curled inward as he was maimed and defenseless. My heart was beating; I was scared yet curious; I accomplished this with my own physical willpower. I stood still in awe taking the moment in. I could still smell the delicious aroma of soup in the air.

I came back to my senses as he was screaming some sort of expletives, though they were difficult to discern. I stepped forward towards him and grabbed his dinner fork, of which was conveniently located near his bowl of soup. I knew I had to finish what I started. It was too late to choose grace at this point. I grasped the second weapon with all my might, and began stabbing him profusely. I cared only to stab him in his upper regions; above his chest area and below his forehead. His screams were in rhythm with my thrusting motions; beads of blood drenched my hand and decorated the furniture around me. I could feel his body convulsing with each blow, yet his endurance slowed as consecutive attacks ensued. He was half alive; his arms kept reaching out at me like tentacles of which aimlessly attempted to defend against the impending offense, yet they weakened with each and every passing second. I stabbed him for all the times he wasn’t there for me, for all the nights he hit mom, and I even stabbed him because of the fact I couldn’t admit I had deep feelings for him.

It took me a while until I realized what I had accomplished; perhaps a good 5 minutes had passed by until my adrenaline faded. I was truly an abhorrent monster. My mother and father both lay unconscious, but my Mother’s heart still beat. I escaped my own body; I knew I was a monster at some level of intellect, yet I felt absolutely nothing. My body was void of all human emotion. I stood up, drenched in blood, and gazed upon at the disaster I created.

I walked to the kitchen, and did the only thing left I knew to do. I grabbed the sharpest knife above the microwave, and slit my wrists. I fell to the earth, beholding both of my parents at my feet. The heat of the moment captured me. I lacked the post processing that a normal brain, under normal circumstances, possessed. The pain in my wrists slightly brought me back to the earthly plains. The smell of the soup was now masked by the musky smell of blood and sweat. I threw up, and began to feel overwhelmingly dizzy. My senses faded, the room looked grey and lacked color. My head felt heavy and I kept drifting in and out of darkness for what seemed to be an eternity.

The contrasting moments between murdering my father, and the resulting, utter silence that ensued after the fact was almost comical. This was it? No standing ovation? Perhaps God will think otherwise when I proceed into the afterlife. It was at this moment I realized I had been weeping for God knows how long, my eyes were cold and wet; they drained the last remaining life juices from my soul. I took my last breathe as I proclaimed to myself that I had done a good deed, bringing justice to my Father.

The door slammed opened, and the firefighters and police crowded into the small, beat up home. Moments turned into hours as yellow tape stretched around the crime scene. “Looks like a case of domestic violence if you ask me, then he took the easy way out.” The officer exclaimed, as he gestured towards the teenager sprawled out on the kitchen floor. He stepped aside as a very tall man with a trench coat walked inside. “Indeed, looks like a perfectly normal family function gone wrong.” The policeman quickly replied, “Where is the girl?” The detective smirked, and turned his head to focus on the officer. “What do you mean?” He replied, “Well, look” He pulled a picture off of the wall from near the closet and gave it to the large man. “Ah… I see.” He gazed into the photograph and studied each face that made up the solemn family of four. He noticed the how her expression was bright, excited and full of passion. “It’s odd she didn’t join her own family on Thanksgiving Day.” The detective wasn’t fazed. “I was briefed during the trip out here; she passed away years ago in a car accident. Seems like nothing really worked out for this family. Sad ending, really… how’s the Mother holding up?” Both men glanced into the kitchen where the forensic group was hard at work trying to gather as much information as possible. “She is awake finally, although in a great deal of shock. She hasn’t spoken at all and she is as white as a ghost.” The detective grimaced as he handed the photograph back to the officer. He walked into the crime scene, quickly studying each body that lie there. “At least one made it out alive. We should take her back to the hospital, freshen her up. Hopefully by next week we can figure out what the hell happened here.” The officer set the photo back into its proper location near the closet door. “Of course… that’s a good idea.” He made some cryptic calls over his intercom and stepped outside.

The detective’s attention was intrigued by the expression on the boy’s face in the kitchen. He stepped carefully over the tape and into the heart of the scene. “How long has he been dead?” He motioned to one of the able bodied young men nearby. “I’d say a good couple of hours now sir.” He replied abruptly. The detective stared into the boy’s eyes which to his surprise were still opened; he noticed some tears streaming down his pale face. “It’s almost like his soul is crying out, trying to tell us he was innocent.” The worker stopped, chuckled, and slightly nodded. The detective continued, “We’ll figure out one way or the other; cases like these often have a lot of back story.” The detective took his gloves off and wiped the tears away from the boy’s cheek whilst brushing his eyes shut with the palm of his hand. “Rest in peace, kiddo.”

[chcfasher]

okay i am so excited to get to plotting & interacting with all u cuties ! bare with me though , im also trying to study for a quiz i gotta take later tonight . anyways , i’m mia aka your resident masshole reporting for duty . i’m 20 years old ... will be 21 in june ( fingers crossed my Sad ass will be out of q*arentine by then ) . i go by she / her / dumb bitch pronouns & am very much so done talking about myself already . so lets get to my boy asher here who is ... how do you say ? a asshole ? a dirt bag ? a soft baby boi ? if you wanna plot & discord is easier for you shoot me a mssg @ 𝖒𝖌𝖐'𝖘 𝖜𝖍𝖔𝖗𝖊#9789 . lets goooo 💛

𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐋 𝐃𝐄𝐓𝐀𝐈𝐋𝐒

full name: asher james bennett nickname: ash , aj birthday: march 25 , 1996 zodiac: aries hometown: madison , wisconsin ( click here to see his parents house / childhood home ) current residence: los angeles , california ( although he lives in the villa with everyone , before the year away he lived on his own & still owns the home , both because he loves the place and because it gives his family somewhere to go when they come out click here to see his house ) vehicle: 2017 jeep wrangler rubicon in black ( click here ) , 2019 maserati granturismo in red ( click here ) gender: cismale orientation: heterosexual , heteromantic relationship status: single ( it’s complicated ) family: tamara marie bennett-abbott ( mother ) , harrison charles bennett ( father , deceased ) , mason billings abbott ( stepfather ) , bradford sawyer abbott ( brother ) , stephanie anne bennett ( sister )  education: vocational highschool graduating from the culinary program , graduated ucla with a bachelor in management with a minor in food studies occupation: celebrity chef , tv personality  net worth: 19.7m height: 5′11″ weight: 161lbs tattoos: left arm ( x , x ) , right arm ( x , x  , plus the butterfly tattoo jack has ) , right hand ( x ) , right thigh ( x ) , left leg ( x ) criminal record: arrested ( x6 ) - simple assault ( x2 ) , assault and battery ( x1 ) ,  disorderly conduct ( x2 ) , criminal mischief ( x1 ) , criminal trespassing ( x2 ) , minor in possession of alcohol ( x2 ) , drug possession ( x1 ) drugs / alochol / smoking: yes , mostly marijuana though / yes / no moral alignment: chaotic neutral hogwarts house: slytherin theme song: righteous by juice wrld (  a look at his mental health and the way it he attempts to cope ) & i am by james arthur ( deep dives into his view on himself and how outside opinions of him have effected the way he sees himself ) & empty space by james arthur ( instead of being about a girl this really encapsulates how the loss of his father has affected his life ) traits: charismatic , well-intentioned , affectionate , loyal , jocular , reckless , immature , flippant , short-tempered label: politicians son , miscreant , fuck boy , broken bird , mr. misunderstood , mama’s boy , epicure hidden talents: drawing , singing , master at rubiks cube , skilled card counter ( blackjack )

𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐆𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃

asher was born just eleven months after his sister stephanie , to at the time lobbyist harrison bennett &  prosecutor tamara bennett . a menace as a child , he made dennis the menace look like a saint , basically . at first his parents hoped this was simply just a phase but as time went on it became very clear that  if it were a phase it was going on for much longer than his parents had hoped . his sister immediately taking on the spot of prodigal daughter , while asher took on the spot of black sheep of the family . this didn’t mean that his parents didn’t absolutely adore both of their children , because they did . both taking on daddy’s little girl & mama’s boy respectively , early on . 

around the time asher was seven both of his parents were up for office , his mother for district attorney & his father for u.s representative from wisconsin . the influx of cameras / eyes on the bennett family mixed with the level of stress both his parents were under completely put asher off from the world of politics . despite being in a family that had generational ties to politics on both sides . during a family appearance asher was captured on camera ( both video & photo ) putting up a piece sign behind his sisters head during a speech his father was giving . 

[ tw: death , suicide , loss of a parent ] when asher was twelve his father went on a boating trip with friend , call it a boys trip if you will . two days into the trip news broke of his father being in a major boating accident where harrison was the only one on the boat & was dead upon being found . it later was confirmed by the coroner that his death was likely a suicide .  the loss of harrison was hard on the entire family , it was easy to say it affected asher heavily having locked himself away in his bedroom for nearly a week only leaving his room to go to the bathroom & grab food that he’d return to his room to eat . later , when he returned to school he was suspended just in that school year three times . it was genuinely the beginning to the incredibly reckless version of asher , that we seen since .

despite his antics he played varsity football as a cornerback & varsity soccer as a midfielder . taking up sports at an early age , it was clear he was a born athlete who genuinely enjoyed a little competition . he also took an interest in culinary , he was very much so that kid standing on a step stool as he helped his parents in the kitchen . this interest turned into him attending a vocational / trade highschool instead of an ordinary public school , like he had in elementary & middle . 

when he was fifteen he started a youtube channel where he posted cook with me videos weekly & vlogged his experience within the culinary program at school .

during highschool his mom started getting serious with a professor at the local university . asher , of course , hated the idea of his mom replacing his dad and it took nearly two years & an engagement for him to actually sit down & listen to his mom about the situation . it wasn’t until then that he realized , mason , was supposed to replace his father ... it was simply his mom not allowing herself to get stuck in one place in life & fall into a spiral . once he actually heard her side he gave the guy a chance . turns out the two have alot in common & get along very well . he’ll never replace his father but he respects him none the less .

before he’d even graduated highschool , asher amassed over 1m subscribers , made appearances on the ellen degeneres show & rachel ray show . this was around the time he realized he wanted to turn his hobby into something more than that & hell he was good enough to do so . when graduation came , he’d already committed to attending ucla as a business major with a minor in food studies . 

soon after graduation he went on the show master chef , finishing as runner up , which was one hell of a feat given he’d been the youngest chef on the show . he enjoyed the experience & recognition the show gave him . 

while at ucla he continued to play football he was so good he was receiving national attention to the point where nfl scouts were looking at him . obviously he was still too young to go into the draft but they let him know , this was something that was more than on the table . it was definitely something he loved hearing but at the end of the day , the nfl was never really the goal for asher . so toward the end of his sophomore season when he was suspended for the rest of the season for getting arrested & charged with drug possession & criminal trespassing he took that as the excuse not to return the sport the following season .

this was not the first time ( we know it was not the last *wink wonk* ) asher was arrested . from the end of his middle school days throughout highschool he’d racked up four arrests . his first one taking place in eighth grade & the only reason the misdemeanor charges actually went through were because his mom asked for them to in hopes that it would scare asher from acting out in such a fashion ever again . unfortunately , his actions were rooted in much more than teen rebellion having never accepting or being able to cope with his father’s passing . the charges & arrests that would follow his mom was able to cover up & kind of bury them . that way word didn’t spread like wildfire about her reckless son .

not even a full year removed from football & he’d accepted a tv show offer from food network . a show called asher’s kitchen a primetime half-hour show where a new chef would come on each week if they beat asher in making a 3-course meal they win bragging rights & $20,000 , if they don’t they go home empty handed . despite the shows constant high ratings asher grew bored of the show & left after only two seasons . the network tried to replace him but quickly learned asher’s personality was what really carried the show .

in 2018 , he went on to open his first ever restaurant the smoking goat an american bistro with an upscale vibe in the heart of los angeles . the place is literally his baby & if you can’t find him you can bet your bottom dollar you’ll find him there . whether it’s catching up with regulars or big name celebrities coming through the doors , or throwing on a chef coat and cooking up some of his very own specials . 

around the time of his restaurant opening he started to let up on the youtube channel & it’s now been nearly two years since he’s uploaded & honestly has no intent on returning to the platform . in asher’s eyes , everything has a term limit & his youtube channels time was up .

𝟐𝟎𝟏𝟗 / 𝐑𝐀𝐃𝐈𝐎 𝐒𝐈𝐋𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄

the timing of his amsterdam arrest was to say the least , horrific . not only was he in talks with several networks ( fox , cbs , netflix , etc ) to have his own daytime food-focused talk show but his mother was at the beginning stages of her 2020 presidential campaign , which she had since put a halt to and decided to continue on with her tenure as a u.s senator from wisconsin . with the headlines of his arrest spreading like wildfire , the internet resurfaced many of his earlier transgressions , the networks inevitably put a halt to going any further in negotiation & the political realm began to turn their attention to the kind of parent the senator was to have a son so ... out of control ? her opposition questioning how she could run a country if she couldn’t so much as raise a law abiding son .

upon his release from jail he took a jet straight home to wisconsin . with the realization of how much harm he’d done to the bennett reputation he made the personal promise to stay away from the media ( no social media , no tv , nothing ) & be the son the political world expected from a politician . his mother ( who is emulated mostly after laura baker from all american ) nearly begged him not to halt his life as a way of personal punishment for his actions . but after months back home & away from the limelight , asher could see the tides turning back in his moms favor & no big network offer ( and there were quite a few that came his way after the news of his arrest subsided ) could pull him back out into the forefront . 

instead opening his second restaurant bennett’s  , an upscale bar & grill in the capital city of wisconsin . he also began work on a cook book that’s kind of taken on a life of it’s own but he’s yet to be anywhere close to finishing that . 

he has inevitably decided to come back & reunite with the bling ring a year later after his family sat him down & kind of had an intervention with him over his persistence to punish himself . claiming they feel he’s matured & gotten a good grasp on himself & that they don’t think he’ll fall into his bad behaviors again . ( spoiler alert: they’re going to be very wrong about this ... just saying / he’s going to return with the intent of being a better guy , being on the “ right track “ but lets be real it’s going to quickly spiral out of control as per usual ) . 

𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘

as you can probably tell this boy is no good . he’s the guy your parents warn you about , i swear , he will get you into so much trouble & bask in the glory of being the one to give you such an adrenaline rush . he’s big on being here for a good time & not a long time . he just wants to have fun , at any cost . he’s extremely goofy , the kind of guy to whip out some mediocre wrestling moves on you for the sake of getting attention . he doesn’t take much seriously ... until he does ? what im saying is homeboy has one hell of a short temper and once he’s flipped his fuse , he basically blacks out . the reason for this is because no matter how happy & full of life he’d like to come off he has this deep well of anger that swells in him ever since he lost his dad . also a topic that can get him clenching his jaw , do not under any circumstances bring up harrison bennett . very much so a mama’s boy , though , catch him facetiming his mom once a day to tell her how much he loves her & see how she’s doing . he can come off very uncaring at times , it’s easy to say he’s probably one of the most misunderstood people around . he comes off like a douchebag , like someone who has little regard for others & don’t get me wrong he often is both of those things but he isn’t heartless ? when he has time to sit back and think about the damage he does ... it hits him like a mack truck & he goes into a pretty dark place of feeling like he’s a villain but he wants to be the hero of the story ? not very big on apologizing , verbally . if he says sorry you can bet a smug grin is following behind the words . instead he’s big on buying things & even cooking to show he’s sorry . probably not the best way to go about things but this is asher we’re talking about here . he is a flirt & will fuck anything . that’s all i have to say about that . onto his friends ? whew are his friends his world . he is a big proponent of bros before hoes & is an extremely loyal guy - to his friends . a true ride or die type a guy , he’d help he hide a dead body without any explanation at so what happened . a big move now ask questions later kinda dude .

𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒

BREATHE BY JAMES ARTHUR : he has a soft spot for her . he always has . she’s one of the only girls who doesn’t drool over him , they’ve never hooked up to any extent and that’s due in large part to her telling him from the beginning that the only way she’d give him a chance was if he straightened up his act & proved to her that he was worth her time . if there is a girl out there who can asher for the better , it’s her . but everytime she thinks she’s gotten him on the right path , she catches him either acting out or reverting to his fuck boy ways & getting with girl’s who he doesn’t have to put so much work into .

SAME SQUAD BY P-LO : let’s be real these three originated “saturdays are for the boys” . they’ve been boys for as long as they can remember . if you see one of them around you can rest assured the other two are in the vicinity . they’re the best of friends . they know everything there is to know about each other . all a bit reckless , but that’s what makes them such a fun trio . a very homiesexual bond takes place between these three & nothing & nobody could get between them .

CLOSE FRIENDS BY LIL BABY & GUNNA : they were once good friends , things spiraled past the point of their control , lines got blurred & then they were dating . the relationship as a whole was one no one thought would last . to give them credit things were good at first but after he cheated & she found out from a friend about it things started to go down hill . things only got worse when he was persistent in lying to her about the situation . she inevitably took him back & not too much later the arrest in amsterdam happened . before he was even released from jail , she was sent a video of him & one of his friends talking about sleeping with a prostitute . although it never happened the fact that was his intent was enough for her . his expectation was that because she forgave him before she’d wipe away the pain of him once again not having regard for their relationship & forgive him but she just couldn’t . when he came out to her forwarding the video to him , he decided to ignore the situation completely . the two have not had any contact for nearly a year & never really broke up or spoke about the situation . 

NO FRAUDS BY NICKI MINAJ & DRAKE & LIL WAYNE : the perfect ride or die squad . the media likes to say someone in the trio is dating at any point in time but , that’s just not the case . these three are always getting into something . the true depiction of always having your friends back . they will lie for each other , fight for each other , anything to prove their loyalty to each other .  

i also have some musing posts here , if you want to give that a look !

#𝓲. ‹ 🍾 › 𝓪𝓼𝓱𝓮𝓻 𝓫𝓮𝓷𝓷𝓮𝓽𝓽 ◟ INTRO . #bling:intro

[caps-lockdown]

Party Crashers (One Shot)

Steve Rogers x Reader where her friends jokingly send him an invite to his fan mail address for her birthday party. And Tony finds it and forces him to attend the birthday party. Reader being 100% oblivious to all of this until he literally walks in the door! 🤣🤣🤣

Here it is as requested by @katurrade my wonderful friend! Ask and you shall receive lovely! Hope you like it!

Party Crashers One Shot

Pairing: Steve Rogers X Fem!Reader

Rating:PG:13 (For jokes, booze, language, the usual) Pretty much all fluff, but there is a slight panic attack (although poorly written I can assure you)

Summary: You reluctantly agree to letting your friends throw you a birthday party, but when they send an invite to your favorite Avenger, how will things pan out?

Words: 5,576

It is AU in the sense that I’m having Tony live through endgame, and obviously Steve didn’t go back in time. Because I can’t move on. I don’t own anything but the reader and her family and friends. And the cat.

(Also the house pictured is NOT MINE. I wish it was, but sadly no. Just used it for imagining the party venue. And the dress isn’t mine either, but I can see myself owning it before the house.)

It’s also in Y/N L/N format. Enjoy!

Party Crashers

Two days before your party

“I’m. Not. Going. Stark. ” Steve Roger’s tone had a sense of finality to it, his body in a tense stance as he crossed his arms over his chest, looking at the patriotic themed party invitation that Tony was holding. A huge grin plastered on the billionaire’s face.

“Yes. You. Are. Rogers.” The man adjusted his glasses as he brought the invitation to his line of sight. Steve had tried to conceal the bright blue and red card when he got it in his fan mail that morning, but of course Stark being the snoop that he naturally was, he found it and brought it to everyone’s attention later in the Tower. “Look it’ll be good to keep in the fan’s good graces. After everything that’s happened recently, we could use the good PR.”

The blonde man sighed deeply, running a hand through his hair. Everything that had happened with Thanos was over and done with, but yet the people were still terrified and on edge. Rightfully so too. He didn’t understand how going to some grown woman’s birthday celebration was going to help, especially when he had never met her. So he thought.

“Did you read the note that was attached? It’s quite cute. Ahem.” Steve rolled his eyes as Tony cleared his throat, developing a shrill feminine voice as he read it aloud to the rest of the room. “Dear Captain America. You don’t know us but our friend Y/N has a birthday coming up and we figured since you both share the same birthday it would be awesome if we invited you! We just got her back and wanted to make up for missing her these last five years. You’re her absolute favorite superhero and she’s totally had a crush on you ever since you saved her life during the Battle of New York. Not that she’ll ever tell you that. Anyways you don’t have to RSVP or anything, and you aren’t required to take pictures. Hell you could show up, say hi, and leave with cake for all we care. Hope to see you!

Stacy and Jim Higgins” The rest of the avengers were laughing at the annoyed blonde’s face when Stark finished.

“They even included a photo!” Bucky and Sam were the first to look at the picture the brunette man was holding, Sam letting out a long winded “Daaaaang” upon seeing the woman’s face. Steve had to admit that Y/N was very attractive, immediately noticing her thousand watt smile as she snuggled what he was assuming to be her pet cat.

“Tony I don’t want to do this..” Steve tried to reason with him, losing all hope when his friend typed the number on the invite into his phone, tossing the taller man the device and making a “go on” motion with his hands as it began to ring.

Rogers was beginning to think of all the ways he could get away with killing the asshole philanthropist when he heard a voice call from the other side of the line. “Hello?”

“Yes...uhm uh is this Stacy?”

“Who’s askin?”

“It’s Steve Rogers. I’m…uh.”

“OH MY GOD NO FUCKING WAY! JIM GUESS WHO’S ON THE HORN? CAPTAIN FUCKING AMERICA!!! No…No I’m not kidding you asshole.” Steve couldn’t help but give a nervous chuckle as the female voice proceeded to call the male voice a bunch of inappropriate names. He heard her take a deep breath and continue. “Sorry bout that Mister America Sir. To what do I owe the pleasure of your phone call?” He shook his head, smiling as the woman made an attempt to sound polite.

“I just wanted to RSVP for Y/N’s birthday party. Fourth of July right?”

“Yea! Five o’clock at the address on the invite! You can show up whenever though, oh man Y/N is going to FREAK OUT! Thank you so so much for doing this! I know you must be really busy. Dealing with everything going on around here.”

“It’s no problem at all…” Tony smacked the man’s arm as he grimaced, biting back a few choice words for his teammate. “I’m looking forward to it.” His comment sounded forced and fake but the woman only giggled, buying his terrible performance.

“Great! I won’t tell her you’re coming, but we can’t wait to see you! Have a good night!”

“Of course, you too.” Steve’s face was void of all emotion as he threw the phone at Tony head on, clearly trying to wipe the satisfied expression off his face.

“There that wasn’t so hard was it Rogers?”

“Go to hell Stark.” The blonde man muttered, the other raising a hand to his chest, feigning hurt feelings.

“Language Cap. You kiss your mother with that mouth? It’s not like I’m going to make you go alone. I want to see this train wreck first hand.” Mentally exhausted from today’s turn of events Steve didn’t even bother with a retort, walking out of the room to head to his bedroom. He was too old for this crap.

Day of Your Party

Lake George, New York

“No, No, I specifically told you Patty NO FIREWORKS! Y/N gets all jumpy and she’s bringing Tigger too…yes, her cat. YOU ARE NOT MESSING THIS UP FOR US PATRICIA! I WILL END YOUR ENTIRE FAMILY TREE WITH A TABLESPOON OF GASOLINE AND A MATCH! Do NOT try me today! Tell your mom I said hello. See you soon!”

Stacy ended the phone call with a huff, her eyes sweeping the large group of people that were attempting to set up last minute decorations for your birthday. Of course they would have it out at their astonishing lake side house in upper New York, away from the city and away from the seas of family reunions at Central Park. Considering the holiday, Stacy was hell bent on making sure no explosions of any kind would be happening today. She wanted everything to be perfect for you, and she wasn’t above murdering your cousin to obtain that goal. She didn’t care if she was only eleven years old.  

“You threatening children again honey?” Jim quirked an thick eyebrow at his wife, watching the woman deflate just an inch before she ran off to scream at someone for hanging the wrong colored lantern above one of the large tables. He was fairly certain his wife was going to have a stroke when all of this was over. He could hope anyway. She had been a nightmare planning this whole affair for you, and that was only because you had eventually given in to her demands. It was like negotiating with the government. And he had willing married her.

He laughed as she opted to forcefully take the lantern from his brother Tyler, dragging the chair to another table and hanging it up in its rightful spot. All it took though was one saucy wink in his direction and he could feel his body relax. She was going to be the death of him.

~~A short while later~~

“I hope there isn’t too many people Mel, you know I hate feeling crowded.” You pulled into the long driveway of your best friend’s home. Mel, your sister sat strangely quiet in the passenger seat, lovingly petting a sleeping Tigger in her lap. Before Thanos she was merely a teen, now a high school graduate and looking into medical school. Tigger was barely a year old and just starting to be harness trained, the orange tabby loving the outside and you didn’t have the heart to keep him inside all the time. Now older, he still loved being outside but had gotten pudgy in your years away. You had missed out on so much, but Mel was never this quiet before. In fact, she had pretty much been silent the entire four hour drive to Lake George, only saying a few words here and there as you rambled on. “Why are you being so damn quiet? It’s creeping me out.”

Your sister only smiled at you, her eyes misted over just a bit as she shook her head. “I’ve just missed hearing you talk sis. Five years…” A small sob escaped her when you threw your car into park, reaching over to pull her into a hug.

“Hey now, it was five years for me too alright? We’re together again yeah?” Brushing the tear off her cheek you held back your own when Tigger let out a cranky mewl. That was one thing you would never get tired of. A joyful laugh left your mouth as you began to break away from the embrace, looking into your sister’s brown eyes. “Alright get out of here before you make me ruin my makeup. And just so we’re clear I expect a full blown alien conspiracy lecture tomorrow on the way home.” You jokingly scolded, watching her light up before taking the cat and dashing out of the car. Well at least she had stayed the ball of energy you had remembered.

Stepping out of your vehicle before locking the doors, you couldn’t help but let out a gasp at the house in front of you.

“I see you guys finished the remodel!” You called out when you entered the foyer.

“Y/N! You look amazing!!” Stacy yelled, coming to give you the biggest hug as if you hadn’t been back for months now and she hadn’t just seen you a couple days ago. “Where did you get that banging dress? Did they have one in purple?!”

You lightly shoved your friend, looking down at your outfit for the day.

“HEY EVERYONE, Y/N’S HERE!” A large amount of screams were heard throughout the house and soon you were being flogged by tons of family and friends. Most of them you had seen since you got back, but all of them at once was kind of suffocating. You tried to hide your nerves as you greeted the seemingly endless crowd of smiling, teary faces.

“Happy birthday Y/N!”

“You look great!”

“You got a boyfriend yet?”

“How’s work?” Holding your temple, you started to struggle to breathe, overwhelmed by all of the questions and closeness. A knock at the door seemed to stop everyone in their tracks, and you smiled gratefully as Stacy swooped in to shoo them all away.

“Let our girl breathe a little! Fuck! Buncha vultures.” Your brunette friend whispered the last part, you giggling as she led you away from the prying eyes and invasive questions. It had been nearly a year since you had come back, it wasn’t as if it was just yesterday or anything. Taking a seat on the back porch, you gladly took the mojito Jim handed to you while Stacy went to get the door, opening it widely and immediately looking confused.

“You…you aren’t Captain America.” She managed to get out as Tony Stark took off his sunglasses, reaching to take her hand and giving her a grand smile.

“Well spotted. I’m not. Tony Stark. I however, was under the assumption he was already here. “

“He’s not with you?” Your friend asked as he went to dart his eyes to his phone, a frown on his features as he went to call the avenger in question, holding a finger up to Stacy.

“He didn’t want to carpool and save the environment. He insisted he took his bike. Maybe he took a wrong turn at Albuquerque. Excuse me.” That was a blatant lie, as Tony had told Steve specifically to take his bike and offer Y/N a ride as an attempt to break the ice. Perhaps the good captain was in fact lost. He listened as the phone rang, clucking his tongue in disapproval as it went to voicemail.

“Sorry Stac, looks like you just have me for right now. I’m more than positive he’ll be here soon. I know he wouldn’t miss something like this. He loves birthday cake, as do I. But you know war heroes, always fashionably late. Shall we?” Your friend could only nod slowly, the information sinking in and Stark taking his cue to head into the large home. “Your home is stunning.”

“Thanks. Y/N should be out back.” Stacy waved him on and Tony took his time enjoying the lovely large windows and high ceilings. He also took the time to send a very strongly worded text message to Steve about punctuality, and the fact he should have beaten Stark here considering Rogers had left nearly two hours before he had.

It didn’t take him long to find you, halfway through your glass and staring out onto the massive backyard. People were playing volley ball, four or five men were manning the grill, women laughing in groups as they caught up. Even surrounded by everyone you still felt a little isolated. Not a soul paying attention to you. Noticing you were almost out of alcohol he backtracked into the house, grabbing a couple fresh minty drinks and heading back out.

“Y/N I presume?” Tony’s voice shook you out of your daydreaming, you jumping at recognizing his face. Iron Man Tony-fucking-Stark was standing just to your right, and you placed a hand over your chest in a poor attempt to steady your heart beat.

“Uhmnh…Yea….Yea that’s me.” You choked out, taking the billionaire’s drink offering and setting it down before coming back up to grasp his hand and giving it a firm shake. “I’m Y/N.”

“You sure?” His jab made you blush, you finishing your first drink before moving your steel straw into the next one. The brunette man smiled, sipping on his own drink and nodding at it in approval.

“What…what are you doing here?” Your question was blurted out at a rapid speed, the skin on your neck tingling again as Tony looked down to meet your eyes. You could tell that he had been waiting on you to ask, as it wasn’t everyday random world saving superheroes showed up to a woman’s birthday party.

“We got an invite from Stacy and her husband, but superhero business would have it that only I could make it tonight. I’m sorry if you were expecting someone taller. With blonde hair and devastating blue eyes.” You sputtered into your glass, giving Tony an incredulous look while he laughed at you. What had your friends mentioned in that invitation?

“No um, this is really wonderful. Thank..thank you for coming.” You nearly squeaked, trying to guzzle down the rest of your drink and standing from your chair. Jim signaled it was time to eat, Stacy starting to hand people red, white, and blue plates and napkins while the masses began to form a line for food. “I guess that’s our cue. Everyone will be really excited to meet you. And in case I don’t get the chance, thank you. Ya know, for saving the world.”

“All in a day’s work Y/N. Let’s get some grub, I’m starving.” You laughed as Tony extended his arm, helping you down the stairs into the party space, people offering him thanks and asking for pictures once they caught on to who he was. “No no, I’m just here for the free food and Y/N’s birthday cake. But maybe we’ll take a few photos after yeah?”

The two of you took a seat at the large long picnic table after piling your plates with ribs, potato salad, corn on the cob, and other fourth of July staples. Tony kept everyone laughing, telling stories to you and the twenty four other people that were there to celebrate. You secretly wished that you could be this outgoing, most of the time shying away from social interaction and people altogether. It would certainly help you and your lackluster personal life.

After everyone was on the brink of a food coma, Tony suggested the game of charades to help burn off some of the food to make room for cake. With it being after seven, some of the guests opted to leave for the evening, wishing you well and stealing a couple of photos with Tony before exiting. None of them seemed to notice the motorcycle parked alongside the driveway.

Steve’s eyes watched with amusement as you attempted to use your cat to imitate a machine gun, shouting Scarface quotes and Tony being the first to answer correctly. His breath was taken away by how beautiful you were in person, the picture being five years older after all. He loved the way your eyes crinkled when you laughed, and how your smiles always looked warm and inviting, even when you were clearly not doing the best at charades. Steeling his nerve he climbed off his bike, wiping his suddenly sweaty palms onto his pants and heading up to the front door of the large home. He took in a deep breath and knocked, staring into the rich oak and waiting.

“I’ll get it!” You shouted, hopping off the couch and dodging popcorn Mel was throwing at you along the way. You stuck your tongue out playfully, turning to open the door and finding yourself face to face with freedom in the flesh.

“Happy birthday Y/N.” His stunning blue eyes and even more attractive smile was too much for you and the room began to spin. “I’m Steve.”

You took his hand, suddenly feeling really light headed. His expression changed to one of concern as you took a few fumbling steps back, his strong arm instinctively reaching out to grip your waist and steady you.

“Hey you’re alright. I’ve got you.” His words had your brain going into overdrive, your mind flooding with the memory of the only other time you had heard him say that.

~May 4th, 2012~

“Why the hell should I take orders from you?!”

You heard the cop ask the man in the blue suit, you hiding behind a nearby car as you watched him interact with the officer, chaos erupting throughout the city. The entire office you worked in had evacuated in a panic, but you were one of the last ones to leave, narrowly escaping death a few times over just getting out of the building. Your eyes were glued to the man, never seeing him before in your life. He was extremely handsome from what you could tell, and clearly he wasn’t taking no for an answer. You watched as he proceeded to defeat a few of the strange creatures easily, and you couldn’t help but let out a raspy laugh as the officer quickly changed his tune.

“I need men in those buildings. Lead the people down and away from the streets. We’re gonna set up a perimeter all the way down to 39th street.” He had said the last bit into his radio, walking away and you gladly decided it was time to get your ass out of there. Standing up and headed towards the street you began running towards the nearest subway entrance. Your heart was hammering in your throat and you were sure you would have to throw out your heels and now ripped to hell dress when this was over. Turning a corner you let out a blood curdling scream as a truck came barreling through the air, you being directly in its way.

You shut your eyes and awaited death, but it never came. Instead you were grabbed roughly and tucked in between a set of buildings, a shriek leaving your lungs as you watched the truck go flying by. Your hands shot to cover your face as your panicked sobs came out before you could stop them, realizing you were alive.

“Hey you’re alright, I’ve got you.” Your hands were brought down from your face and you looked up to see the hero in blue staring intently at you, brushing some of your now loosened hair away from your face. You were certain your makeup was smeared along with dirt and dust from all of the debris floating around the city, but he only continued staring into your eyes.

“Boy do you ever.” Was all you could get out, a small smile lighting up the mystery man’s features as he grabbed your hand, looking into the street before nodding to you.

“Good. Now let’s get you to safety Doll.” You swooned and fought to keep up with the man as he started jogging back into the street, careful to help you dodge and duck the ugly looking creatures along the way. Stopping at the subway entrance he gave you a once over, making sure you weren’t bleeding as you fought a heart attack from all the cardio today had put you through. His hands on your shoulders weren’t helping things.

“You get down there and you stay safe alright miss?” You could only nod like an moron again, watching him turn to walk away.

“Hey wait!” He turned around at your newly found voice, you pointing to an alley that wasn’t under attack. “You’ll get to where you’re going faster if you take that way. It’ll lead you back to where you saved me.”

He cracked a smile, appreciating your kindness as he took off. You got all the way down the stairs before realizing you never got to thank him. Or learn his stupid name.

~Now~

“Boy do you ever.” Your words came out in a whisper, his gaze turning to one of calculation as you smiled. There was no way he could have remembered saving you. He has saved thousands, millions of people in the past, and you weren’t that memorable.

“You…you were the woman I saved from the flying truck..weren’t you?” His voice was soft as he whispered back. You nodded with wide eyes, taking note how his arm hadn’t detached itself from your waist yet. Not that you minded.

“You remember me?” You stuttered out, trying to keep your shocked nerves at bay.

“Doll I couldn’t forget you even if I tried. Those directions saved my skin that day. I’m glad to see you survived.”

“Because of you! I didn’t even know trucks could fly.” Your comment made him laugh out loud, his arm leaving your waist only to cover his stomach as he filled the house up with joy. Everyone else laughed nervously, clearly not having heard the conversation between you two and therefore not having the slightest idea what was so funny.

“I see you cut your hair, your picture doesn’t do you justice you know.”His normal voice and remark set your face on fire, you whipping your head to look at your best friend, who only sheepishly shrugged and avoided making eye contact with you. “But I like it. Suits you.” Receiving another compliment from the blonde had you grinning like a goofball.

“Thank you….and uh thanks, for saving my life all of those years ago. I never got the chance to do it back then.” You rambled, before widening your eyes again and taking a breath. “And thanks for helping bring back everyone from the decimation too! I mean I was part of that and I know everyone is really grateful and all.” Finishing your long winded spiel you began studying the designs in the hard cherry wood floor, embarrassed at how the Captain only continued to chuckle at you.

“You’re welcome…and you’re welcome.” He beamed at you, Tony loudly coughing to bring the two of you out of whatever bubble you seemed to be in together.

“This is ADORABLE to watch. Seriously. But uh, I was promised cake and I’m not leaving until I get some.” Stark whined, your friends all agreeing before wandering into the kitchen, you motioning for Steve to follow. Stacy smiled warmly at you as she took the glad cake topper off, your mouth watering at the beautiful cake she had made. It was three layers, all different swirls of red white and blue adorning it along with simple gold stars.

“Oh Stac…it’s perfect. Thank you.”

“Hey that means we can sing happy birthday to both of you!” Jim clapped Steve on the back, shaking his hand as he went to light the one huge candle that sat on top of the cake.

“As long as you don’t sing Jim I think our ears will be okay.” Mel quipped, everyone laughing as they began singing to the two of you. Your eyes welled up with tears, looking at all of the faces of people you honestly weren’t sure you’d ever see again. And two of the people that helped make that happen were here as well. How about that. Once everyone had a piece of cake you all took to sitting outside on the back porch again, watching the summer sun begin to set off in the distance. It reflected off the lake beautifully, the reds and oranges in the sky extending over the water.

“I’ve missed how peaceful it is out here Stacy. You and Jim have an absolute paradise out here.” Your friends nodded, both too busy with cake to really take in the splendor.

“I think this cake is paradise.” Tony muffled out, mouth full of the sugary treat, Steve’s shaking of his head had you and Mel giggling into your forks. “You have to get me the recipe so my wife can make it. Or we can just pay you to make it.”

“Anything for one of the guys who saved the world. I’ll write it down for ya.” Stacy’s smirk made you chuckle, her fingers snaking out to take your clean plate from you. Walking back into the kitchen, the now very happy Stark following her, Mel sighed as she looked at her watch.

“It’s not even ten yet! What are we going to do!?” Her complaint reminded you how much younger she actually was, you perfectly fine with calling it a night. Your ears perked up at the sound of soft jazz music beginning to pour out of the speakers located on the corner of the deck, Jim turning on the assortment of lanterns. The whole back yard was aglow with twinkling lights and you started to subconsciously sway to the beat. Steve’s jaw working as he began to walk over to you, shrugging out of the brown leather jacket he had been wearing and setting on a chair.

“Well I know what Y/N and I are going to do.” Steve stuck his hand out to you, you smiling timidly before reaching yours to grasp his. “Care to dance, Doll?”

“Well I’m not going to say no.” He laughed at that, bringing you over to the side of the deck that was serving as a makeshift dance floor, Jim and Stacy following your lead when she returned from the kitchen. You got a chance to take in his outfit, nice gray slacks and a simple blue button up shirt rolled up at the elbows. It wasn’t much but he didn’t need much when he looked like he had been carved out of marble by Michelangelo himself.

“I have to admit, I don’t have that much practice with dancing.” The blonde admitted, your heart fluttering as a flush crept over his face. You squeezed his hand reassuringly as he dropped his other one to sit on high on your waist.

“Is the great Captain America flustered right now?” You giggled, allowing him to spin you around. “Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me. But for the record…” You gingerly took his hand at your waist, lowering it a little to where it sat just above your hip. “Your hand will be a lot more comfortable here. And you should relax some. I don’t bite.”

He swallowed thickly and nodded, you both swaying to the music in a comfortable silence as it played on, Jim making sure the songs stayed slow so you wouldn’t part ways so quickly. Eventually you began making small talk, asking him about his life and interests, Steve obviously very interested in what you had been up to since Thanos’ defeat. You found him extremely easy to talk to, your jokes making him laugh, his eyes crinkling with joy as the time passed.

“So we might as well start making wedding invitations now.” Mel uttered to Tony when he curiously eyed the Captain, your sister and Stark looking to each other before chuckling. “She’s not going to let him go now that they’ve met officially.”

“That’s funny, because I was thinking the same thing. About him. Maybe he’ll find that life I told him to get.” Mel laughed at the brunette, both of them nodding to the other couple to vacate the dance floor. Stacy couldn’t help the sly smile as you and Steve continued to talk, so enamored in each other you didn’t notice everyone else leaving the back yard to give you some privacy. Ten minutes later the next song came to a close, Steve attempting to lower you into a small dip that made your knees weak in more ways than one.

“Thanks for the dance Y/N.”

“Dances Mister Rogers, and back at you. They were lovely. Now where did everyone…. “ You began to look around, a slight familiar panic setting in as your eyes searched for your friends and the billionaire. You sighed in exasperation as you watched them scatter. Failing miserably at making themselves look busy and like they hadn’t been watching you two. “Go.”

“I’m sure they mean well.” Steve’s eyes sparkled as you rolled your own.

“Sure yea. They’re probably in there planning our first date.”

“Our first date?” You went to cover your face with your hands, a high pitch squeak coming out when you came to terms with the fact you had said that out loud.

“OhmygodI’msososorry” You rushed out, continuing to hide your face as you were certain you were the brightest shade of red in the rainbow.

“Y/N it’s alright…”

“No it’s not. You’re out there saving the world, and I’m sure that coming to this dumb party my exhausting friends probably blackmailed you into was the last thing on your to do list. And then I have to go and ruin a perfectly nice moment by opening my big mouth and asking you out when knowing my luck you’re already dating some stunning Amazonian woman who can cook and makes you stupid happy!” Anger boiled in your veins as the blonde could only stare at you, partially concerned you might combust, and partially endeared that you clearly had a big crush on him.

“For the record, Tony made me come tonight. But you’re the sole reason I’ve stayed.” Steve took your clenched hand, giving it a soft squeeze and the noise that died in the back of your throat couldn’t have been remotely human. “And secondly, I’m single, and extremely flattered. But I’m afraid there’s a small problem.”

“You’re afraid I’m crazy and will probably burn down your house if you ignore me for too long?” He blinked at you, taking a moment to let that sentence sink in before shaking his head.

“No, I don’t know if you’re a cup of coffee or dinner and a movie kind of girl. “ His grin had you seeing fireworks and holy star spangled banner Steve Rogers was asking you out! Quickly jolting out of your over-excitement you managed a coy giggle, you removing your hand from his before placing it on his right cheek. Bringing yourself up to your tiptoes you allowed your lips to lightly kiss his left cheek, feeling the warmth radiate through his skin upon contact.

“Well in your case Steve, I’m both. Dinner tomorrow night when I get back into town?”

His eyes didn’t leave yours, you sliding your hand away only to have him take it again. Your heart raced as he placed a chaste kiss on your knuckle, grinning at you like a love struck puppy.

“I’ll pick you up on the bike at seven o clock. Hope you like Italian.”

“I do.” You nodded, you immediately missing his hand when he let it go.

“Great, then it’s a date.”

“So it is.” You bit back a girlish scream internally as he began to walk away, before turning around and bashfully asking for your phone number. You typed it into his phone, laughing the entire time. Everyone gathered outside for a quick photo with the two Avengers, Steve staying right next to you, a hand on your waist and the two of you looking nothing short of smitten with each other. You gave both of them a quick hug goodbye, Tony’s being longer because he complained about you not dancing with him at all and he deserved better treatment because he was there first.

“Goodnight Y/N. Happy Birthday.” You smiled at the blonde, giggling as Tony had to physically grab the back of Steve’s jacket to pull him out of the doorway.

“Happy birthday Steve. See you tomorrow.” You waved them on, leaning against the frame as the two men became shapes in the dark. It wasn’t long after you heard the rumble of a motorcycle and a car start up, headlights pulling down the road as they drove off.

“I’m sorry they had to go.” Mel patted your shoulder as you shut the door, locking the bolt and turning off the porch light. You smiled at your sister saucily, throwing her a wink after she shut the blinds behind the couch.

“Me too, but god did I love watching him leave.”

Her response was a pillow. To your face.

The End 

Tag List: @kaytizzle @giggleberts @cuffski

#steve rogers x reader #the avengers #marvel #fanfic #fluff #captain america #fanfiction

[twizzleenthusiast]

1. When you were little, what did you think you’d be when you grew up? Did your reality (or your future plans) come close to that?

I have literally never had an answer for “what do you want to be when you grow up?” and I still don’t lol (although the “you’ll figure it out eventually” responses are a bit less frequent these days...). I did have some dreams of being a professional dancer throughout my childhood and teenage years but also knew it wasn’t a career I was cut out for, so I just took it as seriously as I could at my local studio without ever actually going down a professional training track or anything. 

2. Do you think of yourself as an urban, suburban, or rural person?

Hmmm I kind of grew up in a mix of urban/rural but have lived mostly in urban places the last six years, and I do love having so much happening right outside my door, but also sometimes I miss going outside and being in the woods in five minutes. I guess the ideal would be to live in a smaller city with lots of green space and also have a cottage to go to to get away from people and noise.

3. Do you decorate with carefully matched pieces, or are you eclectic?

Definitely eclectic. I like to decorate with things that have a specific meaning, be they gifts from family or reminders of places I’ve been to etc. etc. I guess I do have a colour palette I like (blues, whites, pastels), and the basics like furniture, sheets, curtains and stuff like that are bought to match to some extent, but I haaaaate decorating with meaningless things from decor stores (like canvases with generic quotes etc) just cause they match the colour scheme. I like to be able to walk around the house and pick up items and have them remind me of people or places or things that happened.

4. Are you the photographer of your group/family, or do you always want to be in the photos?

My mom is the photographer of my family to the point where it drives the rest of us nuts sometimes. In my friend group there isn’t any one specific person really though. I do take a lot of photos when I travel.

5. Do your thoughts come to you in words (like conversations with yourself) or pictures (abstract, ideas, visions)?

100% words. I can hear myself thinking all of these words as I type them, if that makes sense. I also am the kind of person who will think up entire scenarios in my mind when I’m sitting at home or walking somewhere. I daydream a lot, have since I was little, and it always manifests as some sort of dialogue between characters in my head.

6. Do you have changing weather seasons where you live, or a relatively continuous climate? Do you wish you lived in the opposite?

Changing seasons and I love it! Just wish spring and fall lasted longer because sunny weather in the teens with a bit of breeze is my favourite. But also it doesn’t feel like a proper winter without lots of snow and freezing temperatures. Don’t love summer, but I’m still glad it comes around for the sake of change.

7. When you don’t have obligations, what is your ideal, natural time to get up? To go to bed?

Get up around 10-11 am (my body will sleep later but I hate the feeling of sleeping the day away), and go to bed around midnight but stay up on my computer or readings until about 2 am.

8. Do you cook? Bake? Or do you prefer to have someone else to that?

I do both, but I prefer baking. Most often it’s muffins or cookies, these days bread lol. I also cook but I get in a rut of a few rotating recipes and have little patience to look up new ones, so I def prefer being cooked for.

9. Which way do you put your toilet paper? Up and over so it hangs in front? Or dangling below? Does it bother you if it’s done the other way?

Up and over! And I used to be really particular about it but my roommate the past two years puts it the other way and we’ve both just decided to live with it being either way depending on which one of us has put the new roll on. Not worth passive-aggressively changing it lol.

10. If you had a lot of money, what would be the first selfish, frivolous thing you would do with it? (Not for other people, not for practical purposes, but fun and just because you want to.)

Honestly my first instinct is that the idea of spending huge amounts of money on frivolous things that I don’t need makes me uncomfortable so I would probably put it in the bank and save up for a serious purchase like a house. But also I guess I would love to see some friends who live far away so maybe I would pay for a trip for all of us to go on together, either in a city with lots of historical stuff to see or in the Alps by a lake with lots of cool hiking trails. And maybe I’d buy myself a slightly nicer ticket to the ballet rather than the nosebleed seats where I usually sit.

Thanks @tisaqueen and @soshedances18 for the tag and @saucylittlesmile for coming up with the questions!

I can’t remember who has already been tagged so I’m just gonna tag @reignandco, @tessaxscottslove, @cantigasdetanjaouia, and anybody else who needs something to eat up some time!

#questions

[celestialtrait]

Pastel Patisserie: A Legacy Challenge [Recovered 5/18/19]

My Pastel Patisserie challenge is back! Thank you to @strwbrrycremu for recovering the original rules and sending them my way! Since writing this challenge, a lot of new features have been added to the game. My hope is to alter this ruleset to include all of the new packs we have!

Hungry for some more berry sweet game play? Looking for a challenge that incorporates all of your EPs and GPs? Want to give your sims pastel hair colors and sugary sweet names? The Pastel Patisserie is sure to satisfy your sweet tooth.

Pastel Patisserie is a 10 generation legacy challenge structured like the Not-So-Berry and Rainbowcy challenges, but written to incorporate aspects of recently released packs. True to The Sims series, it is filled with wacky drama and larger than life characters.

*This is something I’ve made mostly for myself, because I’ve played the first two gens of NSB over too many times and I’m sick of the scientist career.

Rules:

Like some of the other berry sweet legacies here on tumblr, each heir must represent the color or in this case, “flavor” of their generation. You can play with actual berry sims, or “banilla” sims (sims with colored hair but regular, human skin tones).

Color-coded spouses are totally optional. Personally, I think I’m going to fill a save with a bunch of berry townies to keep with the theme.

There are no money restrictions, but the challenge is probably a lot more fun if you don’t excessively use money cheats.

Your legacy is not bound to one lot for its entirety. But if you prefer your legacies to live in one house the whole time, go for it

Wanna share your progress? Use the hashtag #pastelpat

Gen 1: Bubblegum (Founder)

You’re new to the area and ready to put down roots! You love baking, and have always dreamed of opening your own bakery. You start a club for local bakers and put what little savings you have into your business. You spend most of your time at the bakery, so it’s no surprise that it’s where you meet the love of your life. You have one child whom you both love dearly and spoil often. When they finally move out, the house feels so empty you and your spouse adopt another child.

Traits: Cheerful, Good, Glutton Aspiration: Leader of the Pack

Max Baking Skill

Open and run your own bakery. Do not join any careers.

Start a baking club and meet once a week

Complete Leader of the Pack aspiration

Date and marry a sim you meet at your bakery.

Have 1 child (the heir) you both dote on, and adopt a second as elders.

Gen 2: Lavender

Your parents spoiled you a lot as a child, so you don’t really know how to take care of yourself. You love music, but you love partying even more. Children and a white picket fence are nowhere on your radar; you want to DJ and dance the night away for the rest of your life. You have one boyfriend/girlfriend who you are mostly faithful to, but one night you slip up. You/your lover gets pregnant and you must take care of the child. You’re not very good with kids and you never wanted them, so you’re not around very often. You enlist your adopted sibling as a babysitter.

Traits: Music Lover, Dance Machine, Hates Children

Aspiration: Party Animal

Be best friends with your adoptive sibling

Max DJ and Dance skills

Make all of your money from tips

Complete the Party Animal aspiration

Have a boyfriend/girlfriend

Cheat on your partner and conceive, breakup or stay together.

Have little to no relationship with your child.

Have your adoptive sibling watch your child

Gen 3: Baby Blue

Growing up your parent was always out late, so you spent a lot of time playing video games and watching movies. You’re closer to your aunt/uncle than you ever were to your parent, and they taught you a lot about empathy and caring for other sims. You desperately want to give your children what you never had, and are inspired by your aunt/uncle’s story. You end up adopting a child before you start your own family.

Traits: Geeky, Loner, Unflirty

Aspiration: Super Parent

Be best friends with your aunt/uncle

Have 1 childhood friend

Max the Video Gaming Skill

Go to Geek Con every time it’s in town

Complete the Medical Career

Complete the Super Parent aspiration

Your aunt/uncle’s story inspires you. Adopt 1 child prior to marriage.

Marry your childhood friend.

Have two children with your spouse.

Be Good Friends with all of your children

Gen 4: Pistachio

You grew up well in a loving household, but you wanted more than the safe little life your parents built for you. You’re free spirited, and yearn to expand your mind and explore the wilderness. You spend your days living off the land and improving your wellness. You go camping often, and have many lovers throughout your lifetime. All the unprotected woohoo catches up to you, and you have a lot of children. You and your family spend your days working the farm and living commune style.

Traits: Loves Outdoors, Vegetarian, Noncommittal

Aspiration: Outdoor Enthusiast

Complete the Social Butterfly aspiration as a child

Live in a rural neighbourhood

Make all of your money gardening. You may open a retail lot and run a flower shop or farmer’s stand.

Master Herbalism and Gardening skills. Make it to at least level 5 of the Wellness skill.

Have at least 5 children with at least 4 different sims. One of these sims must be the Granite Falls Hermit (you will probably need cheats for this).

Never marry, but you may have multiple girlfriends/boyfriends. Bonus points if they all live with you at once.

Gen 5: Lemonade

You hated growing up in the country with so many siblings. Dirt and bugs gross you out, and there was always so much work to do. You long to start a new life in the city, far away from your embarrassing family. You move to San Myshuno as a teen, and work part-time while you focus on your grades. When you finally age up, you join the business career and marry a rich old sim. You have two children and they have the best of everything. You have brunches and spa days with your rich friends once a week.

Traits: Materialistic, Squeamish, Perfectionist

Aspiration: Fabulously Wealthy

Move to San Myshuno as a teen

Complete the Business career

Try to complete the Fabulously Wealthy aspiration

Marry a rich sim. They must be older than you are.

Avoid your big, messy family.

Have a maximum of two children.

Create a Socialites club. Meet once a week for brunch or a spa day.

Gen 6: Peach

You got everything you ever wanted as a child and lived San Myshuno’s high society life. You love living in the city and never want to leave. You are the sim equivalent of the millennial. All you want to do is explore the city and enjoy yourself for the rest of your life. You eat spicy food, blog your whole life, and become a simstagram star. You date a few people, but eventually settle down with one of your exes.

Traits: Childish, Outgoing, Bro

Aspiration: City Native

Never leave San Myshuno

Learn all 22 new recipes

Eat mostly spicy food. It’s your favorite.

Master the Singing skill

Complete the Social Media career

Have a roommate throughout your YA years. Become best friends with that roommate.

Have 3 boyfriends/girlfriends throughout your life. Get back together with one, but don’t get married until you’re both elders.

Have as many children as you want, as long as they’re with the sim you eventually marry.

Gen 7: Tangerine

As a kid you had all kinds of food, but your favorite is Grilled Cheese. You have a small group of close knit friends, and you like to invite them over once a week for grilled cheese. You live in Oasis Springs and work as a detective for the local police department. You are the epitome of dad culture: you’re clumsy and like to take naps. You marry your coworker and have a very happy marriage, but they die after your third child together. Your children are devastated and you have trouble letting go. You re-marry your ghostly spouse.

Traits: Clumsy, Foodie, Lazy

Aspiration: Grilled Cheese

Live in Oasis Springs

Have a core group of 3 friends.

Only eat grilled cheese.

Complete the Detective Career

Master the Handiness skill

Marry a coworker

Have 3 children.

Your spouse dies after the birth of your 3rd child.

Your family takes the death hard. All children must have the gloomy trait.

Never remarry. Stay with your ghostly spouse.

Gen 8: Ash

You lost one of your parents when you were young and it left a mark on you. You want desperately to make your own family, but struggle to do so. One of your pregnancies miscarry and it destroys you. You can’t bear to be around your children, and start a string of affairs. One day your spouse catches you, and leaves with the kids. You become obsessed with death. You raise a cow plant and marry the Grim Reaper.

Traits: Family-Oriented, Gloomy, Insane

Aspiration: Serial Romantic

Marry young

Be a stay-at-home parent

“Miscarry” once (end a pregnancy with cheats).

Begin cheating on your spouse shortly after miscarrying.

Complete the Serial Romantic Aspiration

Sabotage your relationships with your children

Your spouse finds out about the cheating, and divorces you. They take your children with them.

You are preoccupied with death. Download a Grim Reaper from the gallery and marry him.

Have 1 child with the grim reaper. Have all of their half-siblings hate them. This sim does not have to be the heir, but it is recommended.

Raise one cow plant. Eat the cake.

Gen 9: Vanilla

You had a rough home life growing up, but you’re optimistic that you’ll find true love. You adopt a dog and spend your days taking lots of photos. You’re definitely your father’s child, and still spend a lot of time with him. You have a rivalry with one of your siblings and fight almost every time you see one another. You go on dates often in your quest for love. Eventually you marry a cat sim and have a big wedding.

Traits: Creative, Dog Lover, Hopeless Romantic

Aspiration: Animal Lover

Be enemies with at least one of your siblings

Be best friends with your father

Have one close friend

Have at least 1 dog

Master the Photography Skill

Master the Pet Training Skill

Complete the Animal Lover aspiration

Own and operate your own photography studio

Go on multiple dates during your YA years.  

Marry a Cat Lover as an Adult

Have a gold wedding

Have as many children as you want

Gen 10: Toffee

There are so many things you want to do, that you can’t stick to just one thing. You’re a jack-of-all trades and have a myriad of interests. Your many talents attract a lot of potential romantic partners to you, and some are rather eccentric. You find that you really enjoy science, and spend a lot of time visiting other planets. Eventually, you get abducted and have an alien child.

Traits: Goofy, Genius, Romantic

Aspiration: Renaissance Sim

Change jobs often. You need a total of 3 for your aspiration

Your last job must be the astronaut career

It is recommended that the scientist career is one of your careers

Complete the Renaissance Sim aspiration

Master the Rocket Science Skill

Go to Sixam

Marry an Occult sim

Get abducted

Have as many children as you want

#ts4 legacy #ts4 #pastelpat #pastel patisserie #ts4 pastel sims #nsb #notsoberry #berry sims #ts4 berry sims #ts4 legacy challenge #the sims 4 #the sims 4 legacy challenge

[oldcoyote]

cutting this for a lengthy family drama that i need to get off my chest, to work through what to do next. my two brothers, my father’s death, and the issue of having to love someone who hurts you.

so the thing is

i have two brothers. the first, brother one, is much older, and i barely know him. he was a teen when i was born, we never lived in the same house, so we never really became close. he was very close with my big sister, they were inseparable, but there was a 15 year gap between them and me and the other brother. 

brother two is only 14 months older than me. we grew up together, often mistaken for twins. we were close until he got old enough to learn how to resent things. he hated me for being ‘the favorite’ (i wasn’t) and for getting given everything (i didn’t) he deserved. i got good grades, i studied hard, i did well, i was rewarded. he did not, and so was not. but that was my fault, apparently. there’s a long history there of resentment, misogyny and entitlement that we won’t go into. but it’s a novel.

brotherone grew up without our dad there for him. dad tried really hard to be there, but was often shut out by his ex wife and her new partner. still, brotherone worshipped dad and looked up to him. brothertwo was in lifelong competition with dad (planning on living a “better” life than dad did to show him he was worthy) but also desperately in search of dad’s pride his entire life. it was all he ever wanted, and he made a lot of bad choices to try and shortcut to dad being proud of him instead of putting the work in.

brotherone is also racist, as is the way with a lot of country boys here. you can say he’s a good father to his girls and a good husband to his wife, but he’s openly islamophobic, racist, ableist, and often homophobic. right wing in his politics. we do not mesh well, but we are polite and kind to each other when we’re around each other as adults. i have to be, for the sake of mum and my family.

my sister died when i was eleven, twenty five years ago. it destroyed brotherone, as she was his closest friend from birth. it destroyed all of us, but none so much as him. 

still both brothers are healthy and able bodied, and went out and made lives for themselves. brotherone started a business, got married, had four kids. lives far away, with his big family and his custom built house and his huge area of land. brothertwo struggled most of his life on handouts, not wanting to work, feeling like the universe owed him. eventually he got a kick up the ass from brotherone, and got a job he’s held now for a few years. he turned his life and his perspective around. he’s a much, much better person now than he used to be- and still growing, still unlearning a lot of awful shit.

but none of them have lived with or near my parents for most of their adult lives. i, on the other hand, have spent 80% of my adult life disabled, and all of it as a huge cornerstone of my mother’s mental wellbeing. she is very adamant that she needs me nearby, and so, i have spent most of my life living with or in proximity to her - and therefore, to dad. i had a few years away in the city from 19 to 22 (she was miserable, throughout those years) and then moved back for her. i know my parents better than any of my siblings do, because that’s how life worked out.

and then, dad died two weeks ago.

brotherone was able to get up here. brothertwo was locked out of the state, coming from a hotspot, he wasn’t allowed in. brotherone stayed a week - he wanted to be involved in everything. my mother was in pieces and incapable of handling anything, so i did it all - and i included brotherone at every single turn, as well as my aunt and uncles any time they wanted to be there. the viewing, the arrangements, the cremation, the wake, the flowers and the pamphlets, the slideshow, the photos, the display, the music, the calls to find out about funding - i involved them at every single point they wanted. but i still did all of it myself. i delegated a task or two when someone was willing to take it on, because i was snowed under, and in between everything was spending every night with my mother holding her together. as a disabled woman who hates showing her disability or falling apart in front of anybody, i kept my head high through it all and cried myself to sleep at night. i made it through.

brotherone discovered in the will that everything goes to my mother, which is fine and everybody expected that, but when she passes - the house that i’m currently living in, the very old little family house, had been left to me - to guarantee i would not end up homeless, given my disabilities. the house was originally going to go to him, but instead he was being left a waterfront property. he was not happy. he wants this house. he was angry that dad would change it without telling him, but both mum and i know without a doubt that dad was completely unaware of how much this house meant to him, and was only trying to ensure my future. that was the turning point, i think. him finding that out.

at the end of his time here, brotherone - who had relied on liquor mostly to get him through the week - decided to get blind drunk and tell everybody that he and i weren’t connecting, that he didn’t feel any love from me. he decided it’d be good to say that obviously since i could do everything, i wasn’t really disabled. and besides which, he felt that i didn’t do enough. 

i heard about this from other members of the family, just wanting to give me a ‘heads up’. he never confronted me with any of this, just decided it’d be something he’d tell other people.

i fell apart about it. i was absolutely shattered. with everything done and the wake finally over, and life going back to normal for everybody else, i still have months of the legal will, the property transfers, cleaning up his horrifically neglected boat and selling it, his caravan, his car. all of the paperwork that was never sorted or organised, i have to take care of. pensions, credit cards, accounts. i have months of my life down the drain now, because nobody else will do it for mum. i’m the one who’s here. i have to do it.

but i didn’t do enough, you see

and now, now i’m being told by relatives that brotherone ‘isn’t doing too well’. that he’s not okay, he needs help

no, we didn’t “connect” - because i didn’t want to. i know he’s my brother, but i cannot handle racist, ableist, misogynist jokes and wise cracks and his constant need to blame everybody else and then wave it off as if he didn’t just do real harm. i’m being told he’s not okay like somehow i’m supposed to go make it better, but what am i supposed to do? 

i don’t know what i’m supposed to do, and it’s breaking me. he’s my brother, and he’s in pain and spiralling out, and everybody wants me to do something to fix it. and i just. i don’t know what to do. he’s nearly 50 years old, he’s not some lost child. i am sick and i am alone in this and nobody for a moment has worried about what this is doing to me, or how i’m coping. and i just. i don’t understand why this is happening. i just want my dad back.

#tbd #fandom family #family drama

[purplesurveys]

706

What weird food combinations do you enjoy? I’m willing to experiment mayonnaise with most food. I also dip my fries in hot fudge sundae and because I’m Filipino I have to have my fried chicken paired with banana ketchup. Where do you get your news? Usually from the Twitter and Facebook handles of my go-to news outlets. My dad is also the only one who turns on the TV in the dining area so whenever he’s home and watches the evening news I get to hear the reports as well. What social stigma does society need to get over? HIV/AIDS, dating or marrying the same sex, tattoos... even breastfeeding is a fucking stigma lmao. So many people are babies. What is the best/worst prank that you've played on someone? I hate being the victim of pranks so I never pull them on anyone. What was the last photo you took? My dog jumping up to ask for food last night.

What makes you roll your eyes every time you hear it? Lately our president has been wanting to give nightly addresses on TV every midnight so when I hear another announcement from the government I just roll my eyes because I know it’s gonna be another hour-long speech that not only has absolutely zero substance to it, but made everyone unnecessarily stay up that late. What are you currently worried about? I’m worried about my remaining academic requirements. With the suspension of online classes and the lockdown being extended until April 30 (which is virtually the end of the semester), I have no idea what’s gonna become of our academic calendar and my grades – and the status of my graduation.

A notable school in the country already mass-promoted (read: passed) all their students and is planning to give tuition fee refunds since only two months of the sem were used. It’s honestly the most responsible thing to do for now and I hope all other universities follow suit.

Do you think aliens exist? I believe we aren’t the only ones alive out here but I also don’t think they look like the creatures books or movies have made them out to be. What mythical creature do you wish actually existed? Meh, was never a fan of anything mythical/mythological. What are you interested in that most people aren't? Pro wrestling. In my 15 years of being a fan I’ve only found literally a handful of people (at least who are also Filipino) who shared the same passion or amount of interest as I have. It’s just never been a popular topic or fanbase here so I never get to bring it up – and I’m afraid to bring it up because people seem to judge anyone still into wrestling these days. What's the most ridiculous thing you have bought? My most pointless purchase was a pink bar of soap with lettering that says “Gay Bar.” It’s a novelty item at best and I never needed to buy it, but I had money that day so I did and now it’s gathering dust in one of my drawers. What sounds hit you with major nostalgia every time you hear them? The PS1 start-up noise is a big candidate. If given the oppurtunity to open a museum, what kind would you create? They have museums about everything now, so I think it’d be a good idea to turn to my roots and make an ancestral house instead and have it in our home province. My family has a rich history and it’d be a waste if we allowed ourselves to forget. When was the last time you immediately regretted what you said? I think last night? We were having pork belly bought from outside for dinner and I was talking about how good it tasted and that it was the best thing I’ve had in a while. I forgot my dad has been cooking us a different meal every single day since the quarantine started and they all have tasted amazing as well. After I realized what I said I felt like shit and immediately downplayed the pork belly so that he didn’t feel left out. What's the silliest thing you've seen someone get upset about? My mom is a champion of this list lmao, there’s so much stupid shit she’s thrown a fit over. The most ridiculous one happened last year when my sister sprained her ankle and my mom would not help her walk around and even walked faster than the rest of us. It was like she was purposely leaving us behind, which confused and pissed me off. Anyway I was left assisting Nina as she hobbled on. Eventually I caught up to my mom and asked her to slow down and to be with us and to help my sister walk. Apparently it was enough to piss her off and the whole ride home she was yelling at me and legitimately sobbing about how humiliated she was when I called her out because she thinks people overheard and are judging her for it. I mean if you’re afraid of getting judged isn’t that proof you know you did something shitty?

The sermon also turned personal and she started screaming about how I was a horrible daughter and that I’ve never done anything right, and that I was a disappointment, and that I was straying further from God everyday and she could see the horns growing on my head. How’s that for abusive? What was the best thing that happened to you today? I finally finished the level I’ve been stuck on in Mario Kart 8 and now I’m officially done with the game. I’ve never finished any video game before so it feels pretty bitching!!!!!!!!! Do you consider yourself a good cook? I don’t even consider myself a cook. What's the dumbest thing someone has argued with you about? ^ The thing I just talked about, even though it wasn’t technically an argument because my mom didn’t let me talk throughout.

The next dumbest thing I could think of is probably when my grown-ass aunt fought me back when I was 13 on whether Beyoncé lip-syncs or not. It was a random family discussion and I was just talking about how much I like Beyoncé and she not only stole my thunder by picking a fight with me, but she also made me feel bad about something I loved lol. She was so insistent that she lip-syncs and was so hungry for an argument, I didn’t understand why?????? so I just dropped it and rolled my eyes at my dad. IT’S SO DUMB RIGHT What did you google last? Information I needed for an article I’m currently writing. What fashion trend makes you cringe or laugh everytime you see it? Skirts paired with either denim jeans or leggings, and short vests. All the Disney stars wore them and it was the epitome of fashion for us at the time aaaahhhhhhahahahahaha. What's your favorite holiday movie? LOVE ACTUALLY. For sure. I’d also say It’s A Wonderful Life but it has some very low points that ruins the Christmas-yness for me. How ambitious are you? I’m pretty ambitious and also a bit of a perfectionist, but I’m also aware of my limits and I don’t always jump onto tasks feeling confident. I know what I’m capable of so if I’m faced with something I know other people can be better at, I’ll consciously be less ambitious at it cos I usually let my insecurity get in the way. What was the biggest realization you have had about yourself? As someone who’s always thrived on being an introvert, the last few months and years have taught me that I CAN talk to people if I have to? And they’re not scary? I had little hope for myself prior to my internship - but it ended up being fun and I met a lot of awesome new people. I also never thought I’d get to write articles solely because I hate interviewing people - but my sources have all been nothing but nice to me. I guess what I’m trying to say is I’ve always doubted my ability to talk to people and dive in to unfamiliar scenarios, but when I do either it’s always turned out to be great experiences for me.

What topic could you spend forever talking about? If we’re going for what’s been the most recent hot topic, it would be the government’s incompetence in dealing with COVID-19 so far. Which way should toilet paper hang, over or under? Over. What word is a lot of fun to say? I dunno. I don’t think of words in terms of how fun they are to say. Maybe curse words? HAHAHA If you didn't have to sleep, what would you do with the extra time? Assuming the internet is nothing to worry about, I’d watch all the series I’ve long planned on watching but can’t because Netflix does a big pull on the entire household’s connection. Are you usually early or late? Early or on time. There is no ‘late’ for me. What do you wish you knew more about? The future. Not knowing the answers to it is so irritating/boring to me. What is the most annoying question you've been asked? Asking if I go to rallies/am an activist/am part of the NPA just because of the school I come from. None of those things are bad at all, but I’ve always been annoyed at the stereotyping. How different was your life 1 year ago? I wasn’t graduating yet then. And I was OUTSIDE MOST DAYS because there wasn’t any fucking virus. What movie title best describes your life? Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, except I literally have to be stuck at home. What was the last lie you told? Telling my groupmates I had some family stuff at home to fix before getting started on our group project, but really I had to take a bath first because I wanted to feel fresh while working. It’s a minor lie, but it still made me feel bad. What type of music do you listen to? It’s usually varied but my go-to genres are indie pop, electropop, alternative rock, punk rock, *some* indie, R&B, and pop.

Are you a good listener? Yeah, it’s why I prefer to be one than a talker. What is your favorite milkshake flavor? Cookies and cream or some peanut butter/chocolate concoction. Do you think you're brave? I can be. Just not about everything. What are you most grateful for in your life? The relatively comfortable life we live considering where we live. And that covers everything from the food we eat, the schools we’ve been sent to, where we get to travel (or the fact that we can travel at all), etc.

What was the worst phase in your life? My rebellious, no-one-understands-me, angsty teen phase when I was 12-13 and my time readjusting in college when I was 18-19. What is a relationship deal breaker for you? Verbal abuse. What are some things that give you complete peace of mind? Staying in coffee shops, driving at midnight, views of the skyline at night, staying on the rooftop at night and being under the stars... I just like a lot of things about the night. Would you like to explore another planet? Yesssssss. Who was your favorite cartoon character as a child? Spongebob. Cosmo from The Fairly Oddparents comes at a close second. What would you do if you were the president of your own country? Right now? I’d assure people everything was being taken care of – mass testing, support for doctors, provision of PPEs and free transportation for frontliners, making all the senators (who are all expectedly not doing anything, save for one) work their asses off, put part of the P275B fund to assist middle- and lower-class people who can’t  – instead of imposing shoot-to-kill orders for the military to anyone criticizing the government or rambling about absolutely fucking nothing in nation addresses.

#survey #surveys

[eeveelutionsforequality]

I know I've seen you guys post about how shipping incest is okay, but I don't think I've heard much of your views on shipping pedophilia/age gaps/loli/shota/etc. those kinds of things?

When it comes to incest, I think that it's absolutely fine to ship it, and I also think it's fine for two consenting adults to engage in consensual incest in real life - I hate that people can still get absurdly long prison sentences for completely consensual sex (heck, I hate that people can go to prison at all for consensual sex between adults).

You can't really ship pedophilia, since that means "an attraction to children", so I think that what you mean is minor/minor, minor/adult, minor/self insert, and those kinds of ships? In which case I think that it's totally fine to ship that. However, when it comes to reality, I mostly agree with the age of consent laws in my country, which is 16 years-old but with some caveats - anybody 12 or under can never give consent, and it is always illegal to willingly have sex or sexual contact with them; if you're 18 or over it's illegal to willingly have sex or sexual contact with somebody aged 15, 14, or 13 unless you had reason to believe they were 16 or over (so it's not your fault if somebody deceives you, rapes you, etc); it is illegal to pay for or sell sex with somebody 17 or under (or to take, sell, distribute, etc, sexual imagery of them); it is illegal to have sex with somebody 17 or under if you're in a position of care over them (ie a teacher, power of attorney, police officer, etc). By "mostly agree", I mean that I take issue with some sections of the law using gendered language and gendered definitions of rape (which is a problem throughout my country's law), and I disagree with any potential criminalization of teens who take or share photos of themselves (I don't think that they should take or share those photos though, I just believe that it's wrong to criminalize them for doing so), and I think that somebody 17 or under shouldn't be able to get married, and a 17 year-old and a 13 year-old does not sit right with me (there should be some kind of age-gap based system when it comes to that second section regarding those 13, 14, or 15 years-old, possibly something like up to 3 year gaps being okay when one or more party is 13, 14, or 15, with caveats for situations involving rape and/or deceit). Consensual incest between adults harms nobody, so it's fine in fiction or reality, but sex with children does harm them and is not okay outside of fiction... but anything, even that, is fine in fiction.

Like incest, age gaps are fine even in reality (provided all parties can and do consent), and are completely fine in fiction - I find the insistence that any power dynamic is abusive to be incredibly dismissive of the mechanisms of abuse; a power dynamic can be used to abuse but it isn't necessarily abusive itself.

Loli and shota are illegal where I live, which I think is absurd - they are drawings, fiction, just lines on paper, and should not be illegal at all (what's doubly ridiculous about it is that it's illegal to draw a 17 year-old... somebody who you could legally have sex with). It's infuriating because charities that should be protecting real, living children waste their money rallying for these laws.

The TL;DR version of my opinions is that literally anything whatsoever is okay in fiction, and should always be okay in fiction... if we criminalize fiction (as the obscenity laws in my country do) then our society is crap, our laws our crap, we live in a dystopian hellscape, and we haven't left the Victorian era. But I also think that almost anything is okay between consenting adults, so there are some things that antis are against in fiction (like incest) that I'm even totally chill with in reality.

Side note: Please remember that the other mods do not necessarily agree with me, and I don't represent every single mod when I speak - I only speak for myself. Also, I put "intentionally and willingly" before, because "intentionally" is the wording that the law uses, but I decided to use just "willingly" for the purposes of this post, because intentionally has different connotations colloquially than it does in law and I don't wanna be misconstrued (ie being a victim of rape doesn't make you a criminal, or at least it shouldn't... but courts and laws can be weird and messy). It's also illegal and should be illegal to aid in - by soliciting or otherwise enabling - child abuse (but that section was already getting really long and I ramble on too much). I also view familial relation as a position of care, therefore meaning that I would say that both parties should be 18 or over regarding incestuous sex (informed consent should be given and no coercion should be involved... obviously, otherwise that's rape in any situation). I think that prostitution, porn, and sex work should be legal as long as all parties are 18 or over, sober, and give informed consent. Please don't view this as an exhaustive list of my issues with UK law or an exhaustive list of my opinions on law, consent, or fiction - I have a lot of opinions, from strongly held ones to still forming ones. Sorry that I keep tinkering with the wording - this is a topic that you just know someone's gonna misinterpret you on as much as they can, so I'm trying to word it as clearly as I can (if you do take issue with some wording, please ask about it before going off, hopefully we can avoid misunderstandings and have a reasonable conversation if you do disagree with me on this, admittedly very heavy, topic).

You can read up on the age of consent laws for the UK here: https://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/2003/42/contents

I've talked more about the UK's obscenity laws here: http://eeveelutionsforequality.tumblr.com/post/184095555707/a-fictional-depiction-of-an-illegal-act-isnt

I've talked more about my opinions on incest here: http://eeveelutionsforequality.tumblr.com/post/184006728027/cookingwithroxy-someoneintheshadow456

You should always research your local laws.

~ Vape

#Mod Vaporeon

[darksoulszine]

Interview with Asrielle

Today we interview Asrielle! One of our contributors in THE FIRST FLAME.

Q: How did you get into making art and for how long have you been doing it?

My dad used to draw my favorite TV show characters for me as a kid, and it inspired me to start drawing too. I've been drawing since I was a toddler, but I only started taking it seriously in my teens, so it's been over a decade now that I've been studying and trying to improve, but over 20 years drawing for fun.

Q: What traditional media or digital program do you prefer to use and why?

I prefer to use a HB pencil and regular paper for most things I draw, and then if I really like a drawing, I'll move it into Adobe Photoshop or Clip Studio Paint. I've slowly started using those programs more for illustrations because of their brush capabilities, which are really fun to work with. I think I'll be using Clip Studio Paint a lot more in the future!

 Q: Do you mostly make fan art or are there original works you are also passionate about?

I mostly make fan art! It's so much fun talking about things that I love with other people, and I love seeing everyone else's fan art as well. I have original works that I care about, but I get wrapped up in my video games a little too often and draw even more fan art as a result, haha.

 Q: Is there any artist or art movement that inspires you? Which ones?

Ayami Kojima, who did a lot of art for the Castlevania games, is a big inspiration of mine! James Gurney is fantastic. He's my inspiration for playing with all sorts of lighting in my work. I love looking at art that features dramatic sunlight and shadow and perfectly replicates how light changes throughout the day.

 Q: What would you say to someone who is willing to dedicate their life to art, but doesn’t take that step because of the risks?

I can understand this. I took a lot of risks pursuing art, and I still wonder if it was worthwhile sometimes. It really depends on what you want out of creating art. If it's for money, I can respect that, but if you force yourself to do something, it will just make you hate it in the end. But if creating art makes you happy and leaves you with a sense of fulfillment, I think you should accept the risks. Life's too short to play it safe and wonder "what if?" Usually, I'll just tell myself "just do it" nowadays. Failure isn't failure if it can be turned into a learning experience. At least, that's what the Souls games taught me!

Q: What do you like about being an artist?

I have a really bad memory, so when I finish a drawing I'd spent a lot of time on and look back on it later, I can remember a lot of how I felt when I worked on it and the steps that led up to its creation. It's like putting a part of myself on paper, as cheesy as that sounds. It's the same with how photos can really capture a moment in time. The community is also really cool, since there are so many other artists who go through all the same struggles and you all can bond over the creative process and the results. I love that there are so many of us out there making really cool things that we can wake up to and get inspired by, and that I get to be part of that too.

  Q: Show us some of your favorite artworks that you made and tell us why.

Solaire is such a fun and interesting character that really stands out in a dark game that's aptly named "Dark Souls." I love kind and supportive characters and I immediately said to myself "I must protect him at all costs." I drew him in all sorts of funny situations and turned a few of the drawings into stickers. People who saw them would get so excited and we'd chat about our favorite sunny boy, and it's honestly really fun!

Bloodborne is near and dear to my heart and the sight of Yharnam is something that is so inspiring to me and I knew if I did any Bloodborne fan art, I would have to draw the city eventually. I want to draw it again!

Q: Where can we find more of your work? Are there any personal projects you would like to share?

You can find my work mostly on Twitter! (@asrikins) I post a lot of WIPs and general video game stuff, as well as conventions I'll be selling my artwork at. If you like anime conventions, you might find me there with a bunch of Soulsborne merch! I also plan on returning to Twitch, where I have streamed artwork as well as a playthrough of Dark Souls 3 in the past. I hope to open a sticker shop soon with Soulsborne merch, but that will be announced on my twitter at a later date. Right now you can find a few of my designs on Redbubble at www.redbubble.com/people/asrielle.

 Q: What order did you play the soulsborne games in? Which is your favorite?

I started with Bloodborne when it was free for PS+ members. It's my favorite. It took me a week to get through Central Yharnam because I was so terrified and I would have nightmares every night. I kept playing because I would get further than my husband (who almost quit because it was so difficult) and then he would try to catch up. When I beat Father Gascoigne on my first attempt after struggling and learning along the way to his arena, I realized how well-designed the game was and got extremely hooked. The high from winning a major fight is amazing! It taught me a lot about perseverance and learning through trial and error and affected how I approach a lot of things in real life as well.

After Bloodborne and its DLC, my husband and I immediately bought Dark Souls. Then Dark Souls 2, and Dark Souls 3. We beat all the DLC and got the platinum trophies in each game. We've met and bonded with so many Soulsborne fans and I regret not getting into the series sooner over fears of "not being good enough to play." Right now we're playing Demon's Souls and Sekiro and I love it! The series has taken over our lives, haha.

Q: When you got eaten by a mimic for the first time, what did you yell out loud?

I laughed! "Why are its legs so long??"

 Q: Any memorable Dark Souls gaming moments you'd like to share?

There are honestly so many memorable moments! One of my favorites is when my husband and I were playing with our friends on Dark Souls 2 and we got invaded. We were all standing there dual-wielding the Smelter Sword and Aged Smelter Sword on a narrow bridge. The invader saw this, and promptly ran away and knelt for forgiveness in a corner as the four of us engulfed him in huge red and blue flames and destroyed him in seconds. It was the most ridiculously over-the-top execution I'd ever seen of an invader in the series, haha.

Another favorite is in the first Dark Souls when my husband and I got really far into Anor Londo, just to get invaded. We were so sure we were going to lose our progress that my husband dropped all the money he had on the ground in an attempt to bribe the invader to leave while we backed away. It worked! He took the money, praised the sun, and left. We found each other on PSN later and started playing co-op later on as buddies!

Get the zine at: 🔥 [ THE FIRST FLAME ] 🔥 info page

𝐅𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰 𝐮𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐮𝐩𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐧 𝐩𝐫𝐞-𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬 & 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞:

on tumblr @darksoulszine

on insta @DarkSoulsFanZine

on twitter @SoulsFanZine

#thefirstflamefanzine #interview #asrielle #darksouls #dark souls #fanzine #dark souls fanzine #art #artists on tumblr #illustrators on tumblr #gaming

[wyomingparmesan]

Unexpectaversay

Happy One Year Anniversary to Unexpected! In honor of the occasion, I have decided to make a “5 hour rant” about just how much this story means to me.

I guess I’ll start with the most important thing. This rant comes with a spoiler warning as I will be discussing the story itself, so if you have not read it, this is your warning.

Now, let’s get to how I came up with the idea for this story. I’ll be throwing it way back to when I was a child. I was probably…four years old, and my mom was pregnant with my youngest sister. The doctor had given her this magazine that had photos of babies in the womb, and I was absolutely delighted by these images. From then on, I became fascinated by anything having to do with pregnancy. Throughout my childhood, when there were no good cartoons on, I’d watch pregnancy and childbirth shows on TLC. In high school, I knew I wanted to be an OB/GYN.

I also found myself being fascinated by the subject of teenage pregnancy, like wow you can have a baby in high school? When I was ten, I watched this show on ABC Family called The Secret Life of the American Teenager, where the main character was a fifteen year old girl who got pregnant. Then, when I got into high school, I had a few friends who got pregnant. This made me become very supportive of teenage mothers.

Now onto the fanfiction side, my very first fic I ever read was actually a teen pregnancy fic. This was when I was about thirteen years old. From then on, I always wanted to write my own teen pregnancy fic, but alas, I wasn’t a good writer.

Then we skip ahead to 2016, when I decided to write my first fanfiction ever, and of course, it was for The Loud House. Once my writing improved, and I became more confident, I decided to was time to finally fulfill my dream. I wanted to write a teen pregnancy story.

Now, as for the idea itself, I definitely pondered it for awhile. What ship should I do? What should the baby be? What will their name be? What will their family think? There’s lots of questions involved with a story like this. At the time, I was super into Ronniecoln so that’s who I wanted to write about. Then came the fact that I’ll have to age them up, and I wasn’t super into that idea. After that, the obvious choice was, of course, Lobby. I’ll be honest, at this time I wasn’t a super big fan of Lobby. I shipped it, but it wasn’t my OTP. Lori is one of my favorite sisters though, and at the time I hadn’t written many stories with the siblings at canon age so, it was perfect. Now I just needed a general plot besides the fact that Lori is pregnant. One night, it hit me.

I tend to daydream a lot before I fall asleep. This is really how I come up with the ideas for my fanfics. Well, one night I had a daydream about Lincoln. He was crying while holding a baby. I didn’t see which sister it was, but I knew it had to be Lori. Anyone who knows me or has read my stories knows how much I love Lincoln. He’s the subject of many things I write, and often times it involves angst. There was another thing that enticed me about this daydream that also led me to write “Unexpected”. This is where it gets into spoiler territory, so you’ve been warned yet again. I knew that the baby absolutely had to be a boy.

I’ve always wondered what it would be like for Lincoln to have another boy in the house, and giving him a brother just wasn’t an option for me. How about a nephew instead? In the story, Lucy overhears Lincoln talking about how sometimes he feels lonely. This leads Lori to ask him what’s wrong, and they have a very cute brother/sister moment that I will insert down below:

After checking up on Lisa and Lily, she had one destination left. This was the one she always looked forward to the most.

Lincoln had his lamp on, letting her assume that he was still awake. She grabbed the doorknob and poked her head inside.

He was laying on his bed, in his orange pajamas, just staring at the ceiling.

"Hey, Linc," she said, softly as to not startle him.

He looked up at her. "Oh, hey Lori"

Lori looked at him. He had been acting strange for the past few weeks. She'd often ask him if he was alright, to which he'd answer, "Yeah, I'm okay."

As an older sister, she couldn't help but feel concerned. She knew he was lying, and this time he wouldn't be able to get himself out of it this time.

She went over and sat next to him. "Look, Linky," she began.

He sat up and looked at her. "Yeah?"

She put her hand on his leg. "You know that if something is bothering you, that you can talk to me about it, right?"

He nodded.

She turned to him. "So, is there anything you wanna talk about?"

He looked down. "Yeah…I guess so."

She frowned. "Does it have anything to do with what Lucy said a few weeks ago?"

He nodded.

"Do you wanna tell me about that?", she asked gently.

He sighed. "It doesn't matter." "Why would you say that?", she asked. "You always matter."

"No, it doesn't matter because well," he began.

She scooted closer to him. "What is it?"

"You already have enough stuff to worry about right now," he continued. "I don't want you to worry about me, too."

"Oh, Lincoln," she said. "You're my little brother, you'll always matter to me." She said, grabbed his hand. "No matter what I'm going through, you can always talk to me."

Lincoln looked up at her. He had a little smile on his face. "Thanks, Lori," he said. "Well, it's kind of hard to explain."

"I'm all ears"

He sighed. "Well, do you remember a few weeks ago, when Lucy said something about me feeling alone?"

She nodded.

"She overheard me talking to myself, I guess and well," he started. "It's just sometimes I feel like the odd one out."

"What do you mean?" "You have Leni, Luna has Luan, you all have each other," he continued. "I don't have anyone."

She looked at him, confused. "So, you don't like having your own room?"

He shook his head. "No, it's not that," he said. "You have sisters, other girls you can talk to about girl things. Me? I don't have a brother, the only other guy I have in this house is Dad."

Lori nodded, as she was started to understand. "So what I'm getting at is that, you sometimes feel left out because you're the only boy?"

He nodded.

"But what about Clyde?"

"He's my best friend," Lincoln said. "But sometimes I wish I had a brother, ya know? Someone I can share my room with, someone I can talk about boy things with."

Lori saw the sad expression on his face. "I know you said that you feel alone, but the truth is Lincoln," she said. "You're never alone." "We may not be boys, but you're our brother, and we love you so, so much."

"I know, and I love you guys, too," he said. "But there's just always that feeling ya know?"

She used her hands to call him over to sit with her. He crawled over and climbed into her lap. She wrapped her arms around him.

"I hate that you feel that way, Linky," she said. "Just know that me and our sisters, we love making sure you're included in things too." She kissed his hair. "You're part of this family too."

Lincoln sniffled. "I know, and I'm sorry that I feel this way," he said.

"Don't be," Lori said. "Your feelings matter too."

Lincoln wiped his eyes. "Thanks Lori," he said, wrapping his arms around her. "I love you."

"I love you too, Linky," she said. "And I bet your hoping I have a boy, aren't you?"

He nodded. "Yeah, that would be awesome," he said. "But I'd love it even if it's a girl."

"Me too," she said. "I love them so much."

"I love them too," Lincoln said, smiling.

"I'm glad you feel better, Linky," she said. "Now get some sleep, you've got school tomorrow."

She released him, and he crawled into his bed. Lori gave him Bun Bun, and she kissed his forehead.

"Good night, Linky," she whispered as she headed out the door.

"Night, Lori," he whispered.

She slowly closed the door behind her, leaving a small crack. She stood there and watched his eyes flutter closed as he drifted off to sleep.

"I love you, Lincoln."

Lincoln and Lori’s relationship is one of my absolute favorites in the show, so this scene was very pleasing to write. I have another scene to share, but I think it would be better to wait for the end. Now back to the writing process. The thing that scared me the most with this story was how Rita and Lynn Sr would react to Lori’s pregnancy, as well as Bobby. I’d never really written Bobby before, so it made me nervous.

Throughout the process of writing Unexpected though, I began to fall in love with Lori and Bobby’s relationship. I knew that he’d always love Lori, no matter what. Pregnancy is no easy thing, and I’m so happy that Lori had someone like Bobby there to support her through it all. I wanted to exploit Lori’s insecurities with her feeling fat and ugly due to her pregnancy. This led to some cute moments between her and Bobby.

Lori laid in her bed. Her head on a pillow, and her feet propped up. She watched as Bobby came back into the room, a bag of chips in his hand.

"Here ya go, Babe," he said, handing her the bag.

"Thanks, Boo Boo Bear," she said as she grabbed it. She opened it up, and began stuffing chips in her mouth.

Bobby laid down next to her, rolling over on his side and putting an arm across her belly. He made a funny face. "Are you really that hungry?"

Lori swallowed. "I can't help it, ever since I got pregnant, I eat like a horse."

"A cute horse"

Lori frowned. "You really think I eat like a horse?"

Bobby raised his eyebrows. "You're the one who said that." "But you're supposed to disagree with me," Lori said, her voice getting louder. "You-you did this to me, Bobby!"

He was taken aback. "What are you talking about?"

"Just look at me," Lori said, moving her arms down her body. "I'm fat, my face is broke out, my feet are swollen, all I eat is junk food, and yet." She turned to him. "You're still here."

He moved in closer, putting a hand on her cheek. "Of course I am, Babe," he said softly. "I don't care if you're fat, or have zits all over your face." He put a piece of hair behind her ear. "I love you, no matter how you look."

Lori's lips quivered, and she felt tears threatening to run down her face. "You're just being nice," she said, sniffling.

He turned her so that she was looking at him. "Look, Lori, I mean what I say." He grabbed her hands. "And I mean it when I say…I think you're beautiful."

Lori closed her eyes as she felt the tears escape. "Oh Bobby…". She snuggled into his chest, his shirt becoming damp with her tears. He laid his head on top of hers, his chin brushing against her hair. He rubbed her back, and pushed her head further into his chest. "I know that you probably don't see it the way I do, especially right now, but you are so beautiful."

"You think I'm beautiful even though I'm fat?", Lori asked.

"You're not fat, you're having a baby," Bobby said. "That's a wonderful reason to be 'fat'. When you told me you were pregnant, I was shocked, but I wasn't upset." He rubbed her hair. "I think I was more worried about how we would make this work. I had a job and a home in the city, I left my family, but I wouldn't do anything different."

He moved Lori up towards him so that she was facing him. He put both of his hands on her cheeks. "I don't hate you, Lori, I never could." He began wiping her eyes with his thumbs. "There's nowhere I'd rather be than with you." He pulled her in for a hug. "And there's no one else I'd rather have as the mother of my child."

Lori let out a sob as she put her arms around him. The last few weeks, she's felt so different. The rapid changes in her body made her feel fat, and ugly, and undesirable. The more she thought about it though, the more she knew she had picked the right guy.

"I love you so much, Bobby," she sobbed, snuggling into his shoulder. He gave her a kiss on the cheek. "I love you too, Lori."

They didn't even notice it when they fell asleep. All they cared about, was being in each other's arms.

The last thing I wanna talk about ,because this rant is already super long, is how throughout the course of this story, my writing style changed drastically. I began to show more than tell, and I was able to add in more details and really amp up the emotion. I’m so proud of how it turned out, and I continue to use what I learned from this story in my current writings, as well as the stories that came after this one.

This story is my legacy as a writer in this fandom, with it now being my most viewed and favorited story, sitting at over 36,000 views and ninety-four favorites. It’s the story that made Lobby my OTP, it’s the story that gave me my little “meme baby” and first OC, and best of all, it let me fulfill my dream of writing that teen pregnancy fic that I’ve always wanted to achieve.

Now, for the end of this rant, I will leave you with something special. Remember that daydream I talked about earlier? Well, that scene came to fruition in this story. I’ll leave off with that, since you’re all probably tired of me rambling now. Thanks for listening to me talk about something that means so much to me, both as a person as a writer. Now, for the moment you’ve all be waiting for.

Suddenly, everyone looked at the hallway entrance, as footsteps could be heard. Rita appeared, causing everyone to stand up.

"So, guys, the baby is here," she said.

Everyone began to talk excitedly and ask questions.

Rita motioned with her arms. "Settle down everyone, Lori and the baby are just fine. She's pretty tired, so she doesn't want many visitors right now."

A collective "Aww" could be heard. "But, she did have a special request." She walked over to Lincoln, sticking out her hand. "Come on, sweetie, Lori has asked that you see the baby first."

Lincoln looked up at his mom, his mouth dripping open a bit. "R-Really?"

She nodded. "Yep, let's go."

He handed his comic to Ronnie Anne, who gave him a smile. He stood up, grabbed Rita's hand.

She led him down the long hallway. He could already feel the sweat beginning to form on his face, and his legs became shaky. His breathing became heavy as he felt his heart racing in his chest.

They stopped in front of a plain, white door.

"Okay, here we are," she said. She pushed the door open and they stepped inside. Lincoln saw his sister laying in the bed, a small bundle in her arms. She put a finger to her lips, indicating that he needed to be quiet.

He stepped as close as his legs would take him without collapsing.

"Hi, Linky," she whispered. "Are you ready to meet your nephew?"

A shaky smile quickly spread across his face. Nephew? He had a nephew?

Lori held the baby out to him, but he stepped away.

"I-I c-can't," he started. "M-My hands are too shaky, what if I drop him?"

She smiled at her brother. "It's okay, Lincoln, you won't drop him."

He let her put the baby into his arms. His breathing became slower as he looked at his adorable, sleeping face. "His name is Luis," Lori said, softly.

"H-Hi Luis, I'm your Uncle Lincoln," he said.

It took him a few moments to realize it. He had a nephew, his sister had a son. There was another boy in the family. He gently rocked Luis in his arms, and caressed his cheek. His lips began to tremble, a few tears running down his cheeks.

Lori frowned. "Oh, Linky, are you crying?"

He nodded, sniffling. "Y-Yeah," he wiped his eyes. "I just love him so much."

Rita held out her hands, and Lincoln handed her the baby.

He walked up to his sister, placing his arms around her.

Lori hugged him back, as hard as she could, and laid her head on his.

He let himself cry into his big sister's shoulder. She rubbed his back as he whimpered loudly.

"I-I-I'm s-sorry, I just…I just…", he sobbed. "Shhh, it's okay, Linky. I love you," she said, running her fingers through his hair.

"I-I love you too," he said, sniffling.

For a little while, it was just him and his big sister. She laid there, caressing him as he let out all of the happiness and feelings he was experiencing. Lori hadn't expected him to react this way, but knowing her little brother already felt such a strong attachment to her son, made her heart melt.

#nat speaks #the loud house #take my beautiful rant on why this story means the world to me

[olivia-crains]

Sharp Objects

Episodes: Vanish, Dirt, Fix, Ripe

Content below may be triggering for some, please read with discretion.

Examining tiny hairs became my daily hobby. I would always attempt to remove the tiny white bulb from each eyebrow or eyelash I pulled.

I had two groups of friends in middle school, one set who did nothing but make fun of me and really appealed to my critic voice, and the other group who were kind and loving and adored me. I am sure you can guess which group I hung out with more often. Christ, you’d think I would have learned by now. These girls would write notes to me in class threatening to kill my cat, they would go into gruesome detail about how they would do it and where they would bury him. My boy was only about a year old and he was my world, this ‘friend’ befriended me because I was the new kid at this school and had a photo of my cat in the front pocket of my binder. She used the very thing I loved so much to hurt me. This would grow to be a frequent occurrence with all the toxic individuals who have entered my life. The picking began that year, while taking our end of grade tests, the note passing session fell around the same time as well. I hate seeming like I was an easy target and like a pitiful little baby, I had no problem sticking up for myself and becoming defensive, but it is as if they and everyone else knew I would take their insults and words to heart and lash out at myself in the process, it is as if no one took me seriously. My vulnerability has always been used against me though it is my favorite attribute that I embody. So, following the threatening cat letter, I told my Mom and she in turn told my teacher, though I told her not to. The girls were obviously scolded and were told to apologize to me and they did and I forgave them and all was dandy! Me teacher took a liking to me after that happened, she stopped me in the hallway and said to me one afternoon “You know that saying, sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me? Well, words are worse.” I have never forgotten that, and thinking back on that now, I would much rather someone shatter my skull than harm my heart with words; the most powerful weapon of all.

My palm is still pulsating from my grip on my favorite pair of scissors. I used to use them to cut out photos of the cast of LOST and carefully pin them on my wall, they are children’s scissors, a rather hideous blue color, I once was detained at the Colorado airport for having them in my backpack. These scissors have traveled with me for well over a decade now, always handy, for whatever need may arise.

Is there anything more vulnerable and heartbreaking than hearing an adult refer to their Mom as ‘Mama’? It is the southern staple, it is what I call my own Mama, a spark of my inner child latching on to this tiny, yet, oh so powerful word.

Everything is a sharp object, a person who self harms spends time scanning rooms. When you vow to not keep the ‘normal’ tools in your home, you sometimes have to get creative when you are desperate. Using the end of a tube of lotion, safety pins, knives, caps from various household items (toothpaste, prescription bottles, etc), the blades of your blender screaming your name, end of a lightbulb, end of an iPhone charger, etc. Anything can work as long as you press hard enough. The thoughts and perceptions are the ammunition; the cutting itself is the therapy.

I chipped my front tooth on a glass bottle a few months ago, it is sharp and jagged, but barely noticeable. As an anxious habit, I tend to rub my thumb nail against the sharp part of the tooth and drag my thumb up and down repeatedly throughout the day, my cuticles are worn and bruised, my nail has white lines, jagged and uneven all over. I wish I picked up skills as quickly as I pick up gross habits. I always must be doing something, whether it is biting my nails, digging my car key into my stomach while socializing, cutting words like ‘fat’ and ‘never’ on the inside of my thighs, purging until my throat is stinging and raw, picking and picking, punishing me for being me.

I am always particularly drawn to destructive characters, not their behaviors or habits, but their strength. It takes a brave person to keep living when everything inside of them is frothing with hate. The damage is outside of ourselves, though we take it out on ourselves, no matter the issue, no matter the severity, we take it out on ourselves. Amy Adams perfectly conveys what it is like to have destructive thoughts and painful memories rumbling inside of your skull at all times, instead of taking it out on other people, which tends to be the more common practice, she takes it out on herself. Why is it that I can care for such characters so deeply but cannot care about myself? I think it is because my issues are weak comparatively, that is what the message on the jumbotron flashing across my insides reads.

I recently turned in my apartment key to my former leasing agent, my first thought when I left the building was about that key; a sense of mourning trailing behind me. It is dull and smells of nickel, but I have always preferred it due to its specific ridges. I trace my finger across the grooves, it is ritualistic in nature, that’s always how it begins, I feel the object, allow guilt over past issues/what people think of me take hold of me, and carve. It is an instant euphoria, it’s hard to describe it, it feels like my guilt or my self-loathing is silenced for the night. My thoughts quiet, bleeding through, I always promise this will be the last time, only issue is my guilt and self-loathing are like rabbits; rapidly procreating.

Camille hides her indulgences like a child, her stunted adolescence is showcased through the candy bars and tiny alcohol bottles she continues to sneak into her Mother’s home. Addicts and individuals who partake in harmful activities tend to minimize everything and/or make excuses for themselves. Camille buys small bottles of vodka instead of a full handle. Camille softens experiences, her rape, cutting, alcoholism, she is never the victim, ever, she thinks she deserves all of this. Placing the sewing needles against the pad of a finger, no blood, no incision, just a press. It isn’t real if the dose of the destruction is untraceable.

Camille is so real, so dark, familiar. Unlovable. The only way to stop ones destructive habit(s) is to graduate to a new one. For Camille, that is alcohol. There is almost a self destructive meter that each person has. For me, alcoholism and sex addiction are the 10s, I made a promise to myself years ago that I will never get there, ever. I tend to teeter on the line at a 5/6. 1-Pulling (trichotillomania) 2- weak cuts, no depth 3-anorexia 4-heavier cutting 5-bulimia 6-bulimia and cutting. I know this makes no sense and seems appalling, but these are examples of my own personal excuses. “Well, ill never make it to a ten, well I never use razors, well ill never be a sex addict because no one will have sex with me, etc.” I am trying my hardest to level down, the only issue is there is so much darkness I have yet to punish myself for, so many memories living at the forefront, things I will never forget. Our ability to remember everything is our everlasting curse, no prince will ever break it, in a way, our worst memories are what keep our destruction alive. A buffet for the critic living inside of us.

Adora’s words slither. Whispers coated with poison, suffocating all those around her, yet her love and approval feel like antidotes. Camille will never fully heal.

Amma wraps her lollipop around Camille’s waves in her hair, the ultimate childish act. Teens are just so freaking scary, that scene is just deeply troubling and it is tough to see a grown woman sucked into a gaslighting reality. Its all about power dynamics in that toxic town. Camille seems fearful, her tone shifts to defensive, but it never works, not even on her sister who is more than a decade younger than her, people can just sense that she is an adult child. The empath. The watcher. The ultimate reactor.

Camille is timid, but she asserts such dominance when her secret is threatened to be exposed.

There is an acid stain on my porcelain tub, it sits two inches from the drain and features a light orange tint, I remember that specific night that stain was born. Its the spot I always aim for when purging; a home, a landing strip for my innards, you’re not alone here; no one is alone here. I shave sitting down in the shower because I am a weak individual who just prefers to sit or lay at all times, I notice the stain, I stick only one finger in my throat to gag, but stop myself from taking it further than that, it isn’t good, but I have to do something. Usually I will stare in the general direction of the stain and blindly shave while staring at it, my eyes shift to the drain and memories shoot out and I wish to turn the small top off of the drain and cut myself again, I ignore that and continue to shave, if only I had shorter legs.

I bet you’re sensitive, writers are sensitive. You can make people understand.

Camille is a person of senses, she is so easily triggered by her environment. She feeds off of energies; clocking everyone.

There is a moment in Vanish where Camille is driving in Wind Gap, she sees one of the town’s many murals and says quietly, but with a shake of comfort, “Hi Betty.” She later greets the mural outside of the tire store and says with a sarcastic (she finds the funny and its one of so many things I so deeply love about her, her wit is incredibly strong) tone, “What do ya know, Joe?” I have this ritual to ease my anxiety that I have been doing since I was a teenager, whenever I am feeling overwhelmed or like I wish to purge or cut, I say hello to every object in the room I am in. Hello sink, hello rug, hello shampoo, hello conditioner. I have never really given much thought to this little coping mechanism of mine, but Camille saying hello to these little pieces of her town, it made me feel less like a freak.

The yellow innards of the lemons printed on my sheets stared back at me. A perfect set of sheets for the summer, lemons have always made me happy, I tend to give fruits and other inanimate objects personalities, and lemons are just so very kind and nurturing. Mother fruit. As a child, I would constantly take the lemons from my parent’s waters at restaurants and suck on them until my tongue was numb. The blood is traceable, not much, a familiar yet distant sight to behold. The warmth of the blood slowly dripping down my inner thigh landing on one of the many lemons printed on my sheets; silencing its kindness.

There is always a sting of pain hidden beneath the shadow of empathy in the eyes of the damaged. Weighted looks, like magnets, that draw you in.

In the words of the masterful Gillian Flynn,

Camille is a ballerina with a steel spine.

#Sharp Objects #Camille Preaker #Personal Essay #Amy Adams #Gillian Flynn