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kyouka-supremacy · 1 month

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I really wish there were more fics that delved into how Akutagawa's love for Atsushi is different from his love for Dazai.

Tbh I just wish Akutagawa's romantic feelings for Dazai were acknowledged more and I'm only now realizing it's so weird how nobody really ever brings them up? while it's all so evidently there. I mean, considering Akutagawa to be / having been in love with Dazai is seriously a perfectly feasible, consistent, realistic way to interpret the text without any need to bend or stretch it. It just makes a lot of sense for how his character is portrayed - his obsession with Dazai, his devotion, his desperation to be acknowledged and approved by him - and I think it's quite the important piece to understand his character. His love for Dazai is a significant aspect of Akutagawa's character, and it also explains why he's always been so vulnerable to manipulation by Dazai specifically. In a way, I think Akutagawa being so unmistakingly gay is also coherent with the way he's completely indifferent and even oblivious to Higuchi's feelings for him that lie at the light of the day– although, please note, that's a slippery slope that can degenerate in apologism for the way he abuses her, so I beg to be mindful when considering that.

Akutagawa's feelings for Dazai are in ultimate analysis extremely relevant for how Akutagawa falls and acts in the sskk picture: Atsushi being not the first person Akutagawa ever fell for, so in a way him being more aware of his own feelings than Atsushi is; Akutagawa falling for Atsushi first (and harder), because at this point he already knows he likes men, he already knows what being in love with someone feels like. But at the same time I believe that it's so interesting to explore how his feelings for Dazai are different from what he holds for Atsushi. On one side you have Akutagawa's feelings for Dazai being passive: not in the way he doesn't act after them, of course he does, but in the way he's always passively subject to Dazai's abuse, unable to stand for himself, blinded by his devotion to Dazai and unable to really see the damage he's causing him. Passive in the way that he's created this image of Dazai in his mind, perfect, god-like, static and unnatural, that struggles to evolve and adapt to reality. Akutagawa's love for Atsushi, on the other hand, is aggressive: always actively trying to hurt the other, always attempting to make the other suffer; it really speaks of someone whom, all his life, has always associated love with pain. Akutagawa hurts Atsushi because he knows love means pain, and he hurts Atsushi because he can't allow his love for him to hurt Akutagawa again as deeply and painfully as it's done in the past. It's a little sad. Ultimately, Akutagawa's love for Atsushi being the push Akutagawa needs to get over Dazai at last, something I fear he never really managed to do up to - I believe - at least chapter 53: getting over Dazai as something he gradually achieved after the soul-searching he did during his absence between chapters 53 and 84. Chapter 84 being the one where Akutagawa willingly, readily said “no” to Dazai in a way that was so sudden and surprising for anyone who knows him and that is easy to interpret as Akutagawa finally starting to free himself from the influence Dazai has had on him up to that point. That's why Akutagawa's sacrifice for Atsushi is all the more important and poignant, because him protecting (and dying for) Atsushi was never for Dazai to begin with.

I always always considered Akutagawa being gay and in love with Dazai to be like. the most evidently queer thing the bsd canon has to offer (and maybe the “you know the reason yourself don't you”, but I guess that falls under the bigger category of “Ryuunosuke Akutagawa is a character that is gay”); but now that I think about it, nobody ever brings it up really. I can guess it's probably because most people - including people who like Akutagawa and ship sskk - ultimately sympathize with Dazai, and even where acknowledging the hurt he's done to Akutagawa, don't really like to dwell on it or explore the relationship between the two of them which is... legit, indeed. Still, I think their relationship and Akutagawa's romantic feelings for Dazai are a very important part of his character that shouldn't be overlooked when trying to accurately portray him.

And the rational part of my brain knows this can't be intentional, knows Akutagawa wasn't written to be read as gay. But there's another I'd dare say equally rational part of my brain that keeps speaking up to say the majority of his characterization - his devotion to Dazai, his (can I say? tender) sacrifice for Atsushi, his mistreatment of Higuchi - really starts to make sense only when you interpret him as gay. So, sorry???

#ryūnosuke akutagawa #osamu dazai #sskk #shin soukoku #bsd #bungou stray dogs #mine #q.#14/05/23 #Edit:#*the most evidently queer thing the bsd canon has to offer together with oda/zai.#But I'm quite tired of receiving anon hate for thinking oda/zai is plainly in love in the text that I've opted for deleting that sentence.#Edit 2: Like I wouldn't even put it beyond canon to make Akutagawa canonly gay for Dazai. His attachment to him has already been–#consistently depicted as blinf irrational affection. And it would fall in that specific trope of #“gay character that is alone in their gayness because being gay is something that *can* happen but is also something *others* experience–#and gay people are destined to be sad and lonely because they can only love straight people unrequitedly. Their fate is tragic and sad–#and they will probably die also.”#Like that IS a trope that used to be a thing. I can think of at least a couple of old (and not old) eastern series that use it.#Still unlikely for Akutagawa to be confirmed gay even if it's unrequitedly for Dazai. But I'd say it's still more likely than‚ say‚ making–#s/kk or sskk gay.

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aspiringwarriorlibrarian · 2 months

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What is it about romance writers describing romance as the most nakedly unappealing thing ever? "I hate you so much I hate that I'm attracted to you I hate that I love you I hate being near you everything about this relationship makes me absolutely miserable but I JUST CAN'T HELP MYSELF so I guess we'll have to stay this way" girl leave already!

#writing romance #to be clear i'm not opposed to complicated or tragic romances #and this is not a knock on people who stay in abusive or toxic relationships #this is about abusive and toxic relationships being treated as romantic #what i am opposed to is women feeling they “have” to be in toxic relationships because their hormones say so #you don't! you literally don't! there are plenty of fish in the sea!#find one that doesn't make you miserable #especially when there's a much better romance option available and they're like 'it's a shame i'm already attached' break up already

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mattodore · 4 months

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you want to play bitey?

#okay... sleep time for me. i leave you all with this <3 originally posted it to pillowfort but i'll share it here too #if you're like river didn't you already do a bitey edit before?#the answer is yeah back in may but that was when i'd just started editing and i don't like the way it looks plus theo's all wrong #so i wanted a new edit of him looking up at matthias like this with his updated sim and his pretty doe eyes...#river dipping #theodore doe #matthias evanoff #a burning house to live in #echthroi #ts4 #ts4 edit #ts4 screenshots #simblr #the sims 4 #sims 4 #...............................was gonna hit post and leave but i'm staring at this like i kinda want to make it my icon?#i'm a bit attached to my current icon i won't lie it's so pretty and theo has glasses and everything #but look at his eyes here.........................................#i'm so serious if theo looked up at me like this i would do literally anything he asked. if theo says let's jump off a bridge well! okay!#i love him dearly <3 but. i gotta go seriously i have to be up by six!! i'm on a strict schedule now!!#when i log back in i'll show what this looked liked before i edited it bc ykw... i think i'm getting pretty good at editing now #not where i wanna be just yet but! still proud i think <3 but yeah yeah okay gn

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nicercymybeloved · 3 months

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Very attached to the idea that if Percy had been a woman she would have been named Ariadne. Like, I know that Persephone is a popular fanon name for female Percy because it's a nice way to keep her nickname. I've also seen Andromeda used by some because she lives a long life with Perseus in the myths. But Sally would have at least considered it right? Because Ariadne's a popular female figure in mythology, linked to both Theseus and Dionysus, two other famous figures in mythology. She was a clever mortal princess who was dealt a bad hand because her father's arrogance allowed him to think that he could get away with defying a god, just like how Poseidon's arrogance allowed him to think that he could get away with breaking the pact he made with Zeus and Hades. And in the end, Ariadne survived both her family's legacy and Theseus's abandonment, becoming Dionysus's immortal wife in both the PJO universe and in many retellings of the myth of the Minotaur and Theseus in real life. Ariadne got to live out her happy ending just like how Perseus did in mythology, which is the main reason why Sally even gave Percy the name Perseus to begin with. Am I delusional to think that Sally would have given a female Percy the name Ariadne? Who the fuck knows. But I'm so attached to the idea that it literally just supersedes any other name I could have come up with

#if i am just let me believe. i'm just very attached to the idea of little 12 year old ariadne “ari” jackson meeting mr. d and being like #'wow. this is the husband of the woman i'm named after. why couldn't the gods at least let me think he was attractive'#'because dear god the way he's presenting himself is such a let down. ariadne girl i am questioning your taste'#oh my god percy would so drag this man and mentally just question everything when he finally brings homegirl up in titan's curse #also this may or may not be related to the lesbian nicercy canon divergent fic i'm constantly just writing in my mind #already re-imagined their interactions at percy's birthday so many times and god its so romantic in my head #pjo #female percy jackson #percy jackson #lesbian nicercy canon divergent au #yuri's ideas

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raycatz · 11 days

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I'm not including a situation where someone might be injured because in that case I'm thinking the bed goes to them by default or they are nominated for it. anyone who wants to be chatty goes to join the living room floor gang.

What are your thoughts and headcanons? Do you have thoughts on how the boys tend to approach assigning beds in inns? Who do the chain choose to sleep near when camping and why? What are their dynamics like when settling down for the night and getting ready for the day?

In "Mirror Vs Open Closet Door: Fight!" by Gintrinsic (here) Four refers to the chain's decision on how to split up between inn rooms as the "Link-per-room ratio" which I find very funny. He, Sky, and Time also talk about their thought process behind why they do or don't want to sleep in a room with some of the others which I find fun and interesting.

So! If you have thoughts and want to share them! *gestures to the post!*

#linked universe #linkeduniverse #alrighty! now for my answers-#for the ranch question I think it varies which is why I'm asking in a poll. What do you think happens most often though?#each answer is a fun scenario so it's difficult to choose #but I think they'd try to act politely around Malon and Time for the first couple visits with straws or rock paper scissors #or showing generosity by offering the bed to someone else. (I bet Malon saying they're charming is quite the incentive #for more possible compliments. The chain as a whole would want to prove her right xD )#Once they're more comfortable in the house though I can totally see Wind and Legend making a mad dash for it while Wars yells after them xD #Wind probably ends up sharing with Four a lot since they're the littles #or Wind snuggles in with Wars Legend Wild etc #Wild and Twi/Wolfie have claimed the spot on the floor by the fireplace.#For inn rooms / castle rooms / camping - I tend to group them by how they're grouped a lot already #but a lil mixed up #Time - Sky - Wars are the good rest trio. they want a good night's rest please let them get their beauty sleep. often joined by Four #Wars goes between this group and wherever Legend is depending on how chatty he is that night.#Twi - Wild - Hyrule are snuggle/proximity buddies #Legend is attached to Hyrule's hip or sets up near Warriors to gossip and gripe. I can also see him setting up near Wild #in the eye of the storm as it were or just an interesting place to be. Wild and Hyrule can get to chatting about everything and anything #so if Legend wants background noise (Hyrule and Wild podcast omg)-#or a conversation he can be half a part of and jump in and out of while getting ready for the night or in the mornings-#this is a good place to be. add Wind and things get a bit more chaotic.#Wind gravitates to Wars and Legend too when curious and chatty. He gravitates towards Time when he wants something calmer.#Four tends to be near Sky or Twi or to Legend's group for the same reasons #I can see Four and Twi having a little book club going during downtimes where they talk about what they're reading. Sky likes to listen. <3 #Wind thinks they're nerds but so is he and he can't resist a good story so he orbits and sometimes settles in and peppers questions.#it's funny that Time Sky and Wars want to sleep the most but Legend follows Wars to chat (and ends up bringing people with him xD )#there could be some conflict there oooo #Twi is by Time #it's almost a circle but with clusters of sleeping bags near on top of each other and filling the gaps

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chipistrate · 5 months

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People really need to give Steel Wool a break sometimes, man- They messed up with Security Breach and now people act like EVERYTHING wrong with modern fnaf is all exclusively their fault when it's really not.

#Chip Chatter #especially when the issue literally WASN'T ATTACHED TO THEM AT ALL!!!#People really just say shit I stg #there's probably one person who'll think this is about one particular post #this post is a culmination of things #the twitter bs going on right now about modern lore and some people pinning all the blame on steel wool even though they don't write the #lore. A conversation I had yesterday with some people where one person kept blaming and shitting on SWS for the smallest of things #The fact that any time I try to talk about a small issue with modern fnaf in any fucking way I'll have people tell me shit like #“it's steel wool what were you expecting” regardless of if the problem was even their fault #and just generally people giving Steel Wool so much shit and most of the time it being over fucking nothing #Like I GET that Steel Wool fumbled with Security Breach oh my fucking god that was almost 2 years ago can we MOVE ON!!!!#They're improving!!! They fumbled one game and a lot of the factors involved weren't their fault anyways!!! Can we give them a fucking #break and just move on with the rest of the series already!!! I'm so sick of hearing people complain about SB when it's been almost 2 years #and Steel Wool is showing nothing but signs of improvement #Cough uhm anyways #of course you can criticize Steel Wool and I'm not saying they've never done anything wrong ever #just don't needlessly shit on them especially if the problem was out of their hands.#Rant over I'm going to bed

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deiaiko · 3 months

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#19.3 Unravel

It had been some time since Agni felt this nervous. Not even talking with Jinsung Ha recently had made him feel like this. He fiddled with the mask on his hand as he waited for Grace to come back. He had thought hard on how to deliver the news, but he knew that no matter how he phrased it, Grace would be upset. Velt nuzzled under his palm and Agni gave her a few pats, before deciding that she would be better inside her bowl in his lighthouse, just in case the shinsu acted up around Grace after he received the news.

Grace came back wearing the comfiest shirt and shorts Agni knew Grace liked to wear on lazy days. He joined him on the floor, and they ate dinner together. Agni always finished last, so while waiting for him to finish his meal, Grace told him about his day with Bam. Grace was intrigued by how much his way of thinking had changed, and how glad he was to be able to be by Bam's side when he was having a bad day. It reminded Agni of the hidden floor, when Grace faced his sworn enemy.

They left the used bowls on the coffee table and went to brush their teeth. Afterwards, they turned off the light and went upstairs to sit on their bed. Grace's curious gaze never left him, and Agni curled his feet nervously.

Grace was the one who broke the silence. "So…what is it?"

Agni's breath hitched. This was the part he dreaded most. "I talked with the crocodile earlier. Did you know that he could manipulate stone already?"

"Huh." Grace needed a few seconds to let the information sink in. "Didn't Rak learn it on the Hell train? How does he know it?"

"Turns out our crocodile also traveled back to the past like us. He found the young crocodile and taught him."

"What?!" Grace gasped, wide eyed. "That means our Rak is–!!"

"He's dead." Agni quickly snuffed out that hope. They had been in delusion for long enough; it was time that they faced the bitter truth. "He suffered a fatal injury from the explosion. He couldn't have lasted long without proper help." Agni omitted the actual cause for Rak's death, but still kept his words true. "I'm sorry."

"…Oh." Grace looked lost, just like Agni was. His lips parted a little, but they closed before any sound escaped.

Agni gently squeezed Grace's hand, encouraging and comforting as he let the silence stretch on, giving Grace some time to process the information.

"Agni…" Grace whispered, "do you think Hatz and Isu…?"

Agni bit his lip and avoided his gaze, as the nightmare of that day replayed in his mind. He witnessed Hatz get his arms ripped off when trying to protect him. He could still recall the clang of a sword hitting the floor, and Hatz's suppressed scream that gnawed deep at his guilt. He witnessed Isu get beheaded after being taken hostage, the memory of warm blood painting them both still vivid like it happened yesterday.

Agni refused to acknowledge their possible deaths, because it felt like a nightmare that one day he could hopefully wake up from. He avoided the topic when Grace brought it up, so he wouldn't have to say it aloud and make it real. He had been so hard on himself, because he couldn't get rid of the feeling that he had failed Grace and everyone else involved.

Agni knew this had to change if he wanted to live better, now that they had gotten a second chance. So he swallowed down the lump in his throat that had built up over the years and asked mostly to himself; "What are the odds of their survival?"

"There's always a chance–"

"Grace." Agni looked him straight in the eye. "They were already severely injured before the explosion hit."

Grace fell silent and went still.

Agni felt a pang of guilt upon witnessing Grace's reaction. "Sorry. I didn't mean to snap." Agni fiddled with his hands. He realized that he didn't know how much Grace knew of what happened. "My scar…do you know how I got it?"

"I…was told it was from the family heads' battle." Grace looked thoughtful. Agni knew he was trying to be careful with his words. "A stray attack?"

"It could have been worse." The memory of the scorching heat on his skin felt like it had only happened yesterday. He passed out right when he was about to heal Isu, and only found out later that he also lost sweetfish at that time. The days he spent recovering from the burn, to withstand the excruciating pain every second he was conscious, and finally coming to terms that it'd be a permanent scar, was one of the turning points that had changed him forever. Were Grace not there to care for him, he might have ended up destroying himself even more.

Agni hadn't realized he had his left hand clawing on his cheek until Grace pried his hand off and frowned, "You're doing it again."

"Maybe I should wear the mask…" Agni muttered to himself. After all, Grace gave it to him less so he could hide the scar but more to prevent him from unconsciously hurting himself. The only time he could safely take it off was when Grace was around.

Agni bit his lip nervously when Grace didn't reply. He no longer had the courage to look Grace in the eye that spoke so much concern, so he leaned close and rested his head on Grace's chest. "Rak, Isu, Hatz and Hwaryun were trying to get me out of that damned place. But we were caught while escaping, and…it was a bloodbath. I was…too occupied to react to the incoming heat. Rak shielded us from the explosion. And when I woke up…"

"They weren’t with you," Grace finished it for him after Agni trailed off a moment too long.

Agni nodded dazedly, "I've been telling myself that they're still alive, after a blow that could kill rankers. But…who am I kidding? I was lucky enough to survive with just this little–" Agni vaguely pointed to himself– "inconvenience."

Agni felt a hand gripping his arm, and he pulled away to see Grace looking at him with a pained expression. His eyes were glossy and his lips were pulled into a thin line. Trusting his instinct, Agni reached out to gently trace and cup Grace's cheek with his free hand.

"I'm sorry," Agni muttered. "I'm sorry, for not telling you sooner."

Agni silently witnessed tears that streamed down on his love's face. It was a bitter sight that Agni wished he'd never have to see again, that he had tried to avoid for so long by not telling him. He pulled Grace in and held him close to his chest, as if Agni was trying to gather his own crumbled heart back together.

Grace mumbled their late best friends' names as he held onto him tighter, shaking from each breath he took between sniffles.

Agni felt his own eyes sting with unshed tears. He remembered the years he spent climbing the tower together with his old team. Despite their banter being his source of headaches, Agni knew he too had come to acknowledge them as his cherished friends. Only when they were gone did Agni realize how much he'd miss having them around. Seeing the younger them didn't exactly close the gaping hole in his heart, but at least the emptiness was more filled.

Agni squeezed Grace tighter. "We have their younger selves with us now. We will protect them better this time."

Grace only nodded and sank further into his embrace. And Agni planted kisses on his hair, relishing the thought that after everything he had gone through, Grace was still a constant in his life. As long as he had him, everything would be okay.

When Grace started shaking again, Agni caressed his hair and hummed a comfort song they had known by heart. Still, it didn't make falling asleep any easier for Agni, especially not after admitting that his nightmare was very much real. However, as he had been through grief…this, too, would pass.

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#Whee we get to know some of their past. Specifically their turning point #I hope it flows nicely because i have rewritten this like 3 times now 😭😭😭 dialogues are just not my specialty #like how to make them reveal such information without making them come out of the blue #writing style aside. let's talk about why Agni behaves this way #I will save the details on the what and how for the prologue. but basically Agni had been through hell that he couldn't escape alone #Rak Hatz and Isu saved him (or attempted to). and Agni owed them for saving his life. thus the strong attachment that Khun doesn't have #also let me mention that Agni had trouble differentiating between hallucination and reality after the incident. So he was kind of in denial #maybe Agni had come to a conclusion that they might be dead months after that. but he was too afraid to admit it to Grace #because he thought it was partly his fault for being incompetent. and Grace would hate him for letting their friends die #not wanting to risk being left by Grace. he just put himself (and inevitably Grace too) in the illusion of truth #that there's still a chance their friends are still alive because they have no proof of their deaths #so when Agni was offered to go back to the past. he agreed to it. Already expecting that Rak Hatz Isu aren't the same ones that he looks fo #but it was as good as he could get to redeem himself. Plus they get to meet everyone else who they couldn't save #Anyway. I'm taking hiatus until April. In return I will answer if you have any questions whether it is written in the tags or sent via ask #see ya folks <3 we'll get more brothers and team bonding when I return #tower of god #tog #two sides of the same coin fic #my fic #my art #bam #25th bam #jue viole grace #khun #khun aguero agnis #khunbam #shibisu #ship leesoo #rak wraithraiser #hatz

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