#like idk. i just think it's interesting to think abt.

[sampegger]

do you guys think the writers would have taken it more seriously if it had been alastair around relentlessly tormenting dean in late seasons as opposed to lucifer with sam

#i'm just thinking #like obviously late seasons writers tend to be inconsistent with handling trauma in any case but #like when dean first came back from hell we actually spent a lot of time with it #and with sam yeah we had his hallucinations but late seasons when lucifer is a problem again we only really get like #sam talking abt his trauma with rowena once #and this isn't meant to be dean critical like it's not his fault the writers gloss over how they've put sam into a horror show all alone #i just know dean gets more attention than sam does late seasons and i'm wondering if ppl would've been more willing to deal w it #but also the thought of alastair being around late seasons haunting dean in the way lucifer does sam is kind of awesome #alastair possessing someone in the bunker hmmmmmmmmm #PLEASE add onto this with any thoughts on alastair being around late seasons omg #alastair reviving dean like how lucifer revived sam in beat the devil? #idk alastair was always so much cooler to me than lucifer was maybe thats why my brain is obsessed with this now #i guess maybe like. you could do this same thing with michael. but alastair just seems more interesting to think abt #and amara was around too i guess #but. idk let me have this #anyway #spn #supernatural #sam winchester #dean winchester #alastair spn #lucifer spn

[modawg]

omfg i just accidently deleted an ask abt percy being suicidal when i was trying to respond WTF bruh im so sorry but this is for you i hope you see this it was anon sorry pookie

the q was simply “is percy suicidal?” and asking for context

ok so basically no one has every come out and said “percy is suicidal” rick has never said this through what i know HOWEVER

it is smth that is deeply written into the text of the series not that he’s actively grabbing a knife or smth but that he is VERY prone to this line of thinking

many ppl point to the beginning of pjo when percy would pretty often talk abt dying and wanting to die or allowing himself to drown or just dark humor in that way; when i first started reading it was smth i never really noticed as anything other then a dramatic tween but once you get to hoo (along with looking at the amount of insecurity and low self esteem percy has in pjo) it kinda hits a limit

in hoo there’s an entire scene where after getting out of tartarus he’s fighting some bitch i forget who (polybotes) and gives up not trying to protect himself when he was literally in his element and later admits to jason that he thought he deserved to choke on poison

and DIE like it’s not like he’s saying “meh yeah i thought i’d give up and give them a chance 💯💯” like he is fully aware that stopping would kill him and he was going to allow that to happen

you could also pair this with percy almost drowning both himself and annabeth in tartarus with this; after they land in cocytus (river of depression literally) annabeth (though extremely distressed) has a pretty decent time swimming and staying alive in the water after the initial shock however percy almost fully gives up pulling them under and is much harder to break out of the “spell” (the voices)

a lot of this can be chalked up to traumatic events being tired or scared or all three but an easy gateway to suicidal ideations can stem from those things and percy’s been dealing with all of those the majority of his life

so yes and no if you want to say percy isn’t be my guest ? but this aspect of his life is such an interesting thing to pull apart because his reactions to the things he’s had to live through is one that’s extremely human and i feel like really breaths life into the sort of “reality” these characters live (if that makes sense lmao)

i feel like that last para sounded rude im not trying to be but idk how else to word that LMAO

and here’s the quotes (i recommend rereading pjo for the early stuff bc i’m not picking that apart but if someone else wants to they can)

if there’s anything else lmk and i won’t delete it next time i swear :(

#also if anyone wants to add in pls do #id love to hear everyone’s yap on this #pjo #hoo #percy jackson #percy jackon and the olympians #heros of olympus #hoo fandom #pjo fandom #hoo text post #pjo text post #hoo/pjo #pjo answers #pjo asks #pjo angst #percabeth #jason grace #yapping #lets play the can mo stfu abt percy’s trauma game

[uncsukuna]

hehe thinking abt footman!ness who’s obsessed with you, his gorgeous sorceress.

his attachment is... interesting, to say the least. ness is never too far away from you — by your side when permitted, fingers twitching beneath his gloves to reach for your hand, standing guard by the door when not, ignoring the barely hushed whispers from the actual guards.

“does he have nothing better to do?”

“you know he is. he worships her grace as if she created the moon and the stars.”

but you did! he knows it, deep down in that overstuffed heart of his. what don’t they get? and even if you didn’t, you’re the one who keeps them shining so brightly, illuminating each and every night.

everything about you is ethereal, and ness makes sure to remind you. every ball, every luncheon, every useless dinner where he’s wrenched away from your presence, he never forgets to douse you in compliments.

“your grace, you are more beautiful than any flower blooming in spring.”

“all the other noblewomen pale and wither in comparison to you.”

oh, how he wishes he could be there to see you waltz around, frilly, regal skirts swishing in time with your graceful movements. the thought is enough to sneak into the gardens and dance, imagining your hand in his, all to some tune in his own mind. he makes sure to filter out the images of you in another man’s arms — they won’t ever have the opportunity to be with you anyway.

but his favorite part is when you say his name.

“oh, alexis? can you fetch me some more sugar cubes, please?”

“alexis, do you think this shade of green suits me? i fear it’s too cool for my complexion.”

“hm? good morning, alexis! did you sleep well?”

alexis, alexis, alexis.

he’ll never grow tired, y’know. you could say his name thousands of times a day, in thousands of different contexts, and his heart will skip a beat each and every time.

you speak his name so delicately, as if it is a porcelain vase you refuse to drop and shatter. it rolls off your tongue with a perfected ease, just like that day you rescued him from the streets.

ness is so glad you saved him. nothing will make him leave your side, and if death comes to claim him? well, he’ll have to take you with him!

erm... idk what this is, its so incoherent :( i prob shouldve structured it better but then id be here all day. i refuse to lose inspiration!!!! sorry if this ooc btw lol idk shit bout ness

#﹒writing #THIS AINT ABOUT ACTUAL FEET YALL #blue lock #blue lock ness #blue lock x reader #blue lock x you #bllk #bllk x reader #bllk ness #alexis ness #alexis ness x reader #alexis ness x you #ness x reader #bllk smut

[lil-guys-brainrot]

HELLO I WOULD LIKE TO HEAR ABT UR NINJAGO OPINIONS PLS

seriously tho I love this show so much and I'm always looking for excuses to talk to people about it so... thoughts on where things might go after S2Pt2? I'm starting to believe the evil Arin theories, but I feel like our boy deserves more nuance than that...

I'll gladly indulge! you can always bother me with ninjago thoughts in either my inbox or dms :3

I don't personally think the evil arin theories will come to fruition, but I do think this will blow up in the team's face if they can't properly address arin's self-worth issues soon (they won't). especially since it was confirmed that he doesn't have any elemental power. everything is so tense on the team after kai getting yoinked into the nether space, and it's only gonna get worse when they see a lightning EM in the s2pt2 tournament. and when arin finds out that sora helped him with his object spinjitsu, ohhhhh he's not gonna be happy. I can maybe see him leaving the team for an episode or two, but I don't think he'll go awol. the show is definitely trying to insinuate that though huh :')

lloyd and sora just need to stop coddling him for a second. they're forcing optimism on him when what he needs is a heart to heart about his actual capabilites. the boy is very capable, but he needs to be able to say "I can't do it" and actually have someone respect that and say "okay, here's an alternative instead."

but that's s2pt2 commentary. you asked what I think will happen in s3 and beyond

I honestly think they're gonna focus more on jay in s3. I think we'll see him a fair bit more throughout s2pt2, but I don't think the main cast is gonna realize it's him until towards the very end. and I honestly can see the season ending with the team realizing jay's alive, and the production crew won't actually try to "deal with" his arc until s3. and as much as I love jay, I hope they draw out his arc and make everyone suffer :) I do really want him to get his memories back in the end tho

I also wonder if we'll get a glimpse at next season's protagonists? similar to how ras was carried over from last season into this one, could the forbidden five somehow carry over into s3? idk. I'm just thinking out loud. I don't really believe that'll happen. tho I think it would be strange to give them so much lore without giving them more significance and screentime

anyhow, that's all I have for now. I'd be interested in hearing some of your other thoughts for what the future seasons hold.

#sorry I waited a bit to respond. I'm bad at time management;; #ninjago dragons rising #ninjago #dragons rising #answered

[hazshit-hotel-hater]

Thoughts on Stolas? I personally hate him

A bit scared to answer this one but I’m a bit of a Stolas enjoyer. Just a tad. 🤏 I don’t really get why people dislike him so much (I kind of do and kind of dont?) but I think with some tweaking he could be a very good character. He’s a bad person yes but he’s grown up in hell and just genuinely I don’t think he knows much better in the terms of relationships. I see people say he’s the same or worse as Valentino and that is just very wrong to me.

I’d like to see more stuff about social class and how all that works, but for things like shipping, I don’t think I’ve ever even processed that Stolas and Blitzø are like a “thing”. Idk how to feel abt it in Helluva Boss really. I like that shows writing more than Hazbin, and I appreciate seeing a morally incorrect character HOPEFULLY have some actual development to become a better person is intriguing to me! But Viv seems like she isn’t sure where and when she wants Stolas to become better. Feels like I missed a chapter yknow?

Very classic case of enjoying a character but not supporting their actions sort of thing. My mother also thinks he’s funny. Stolas haters are welcome on my blog though, I truly do not mind how you feel about that bird. Quite interesting to me honestly!

#raimble #helluva boss #helluva boss critique #helluva boss criticism #helluva boss critical #helluva boss stolas #stolas #helluva stolas #stolas helluva #stolas helluva boss #tw valentino #cw valentino #helluva critical #helluva criticism #anti vivziepop

[seelestia]

who are a few mutuals that you appreciate alot? mutual appreciation day 🥰❤️😊🤩💐✨

OOOO FUNFUNFUN!!! thank u so much for sending this in and for essentially spreading positivity, nonnie. this is appreciated ♡ also, instead of strictly moots, i decided to extend my appreciation to everyone! moots, anons, friends and readers alike ໒꒰ྀི´ ˘ ` ꒱ྀིა

some odeliaesqué sappy appreciation under the cut:

@yvnaology - one of my fav facts abt yona was that she's one of the first moots i ever had on tumblr!!! and she's a lyney kisser and a fellow aventurine kisser (#taste). also she's so silly (/aff) and easy to talk to! like u'll feel at ease around her. she deserves good great and awesome things in life, so make sure to water ur yona daily with love <3

@solarisfortuneia - mika wished me congrats when i reached 1k and i still remember it till this day <3 she's friendly in a shy/modest way and suchsuchsuch a good writer! e.g. i cry over this every day actually. mika also has her silly moments sometimes too. someone save her /j

@floraldresvi - simply the sweetest & most supportive moot EVER! vivi is full of love and she's good at giving some of that love to others <3 her selfships are like bottles of serotonin to me. 100% would drop anything and everything in my hands to support her!!! and ik she'd do the same for me <3 mwah mwah 💐💐

@monicahar - the moot who comes online once in a while and drops absolute meals when she does. ate, left no crumbs 🔥🔥 also SUPER FUNNY!!! and unhinged, i'm concerned but amused at the same time. i hope she's having a nice break!! thank u for ur past & future services ma'am. we love u 🤭🤭

@milk-violet - MIREI !!! sunshine personified but also vv precious. i'm the leader of # protecc mirei squad (real). best person to have ever appeared in my notifs and i lovelovelove when her username pops up. take care & good luck with school! IK U CAN DO IT. remember what i said: slay before ur slayed 🗣️

@xianyoon - the butterfly moot 🦋 !!! both socially and aesthetically hehe. sosooso sweet & kind. has creative projects and executes them well at that too. i personally crown her as genshinblr's best hostess™! also, send her a moodboard and she'll cherish u forever - that's one of her love languages <3 ++ her pretty & aesthetic rb's are such a good refresh for my dash. love her for it!!

@hermosacolibri - the name, 'starlight' fits them sm bcs i feel like if we were to take a peek into their mind, stars will burst out!!! /pos (<- unique complimenting skills ik pardon me). their ideas are brilliant and i can tell they put their all into pursuing their vision <3 it's truly an honor to be a witness & reader. if u want to check them out, they write over at @/starlightlacrimosazpsff !!! ★

@wolfhookk - aaaaa ri !!!! booping her x1000 rn bcs i cannot believe boop trend ended when she came online. the discrimination 😔 /j i'll always remember ri as my first ever moot on here like first, 1st, #1!!! i forever thank her for swooping into my inbox back then and she's welcome to do that even now any time she likes <3

@kaiserkisser - skylia is the true angst consumer, the realest of it!! even in different fandoms LOL. she's nice (and gremlin-ish) when u get to know her more and she reciprocates energy really well! i'll never forget the disaster of boops in my notifs /lh

@callilouv - COOL MUTUAL ALERT !!!! cool art & cool interests. truly, picasso w/ the finger and fandoms!! idk if cal still draws with his finger dhjahshsj but still vv mega cool!

@manager-of-the-pudding-bank - the grandpas & old men kisser where art thou 💔 /j loqua has that awkward & silly rizz!!! idk if she still does wax stamps but i still think it's really cool. bcs qua's just cool in general !!! hehe

@calxlu - aaaaa vi!!! the one who enables my rambles and selfships shhshsh i am so thankful <3 rambler 🤝 rambler is the best. i love talking to her and it's super reassuring to know that it's mutual! even if i take some time but i always look forward to seeing her replies in my inbox. it's like we're penpals across the screen talking abt irl stuff and our f/o's ꒰✿´ ꒳ ` ꒱♡

& honorable mention: @/zhongrin. rin does not interact with minors anymore (which i respect and so should everyone!), so we count as former moots. but !!! i still think she's an amazing person regardless <3 (note: her blog is equally as great but plsplspls be mindful of her rules beforehand.)

brainrot anon - A REAL ONE!!! always there when i come back from the grave each time. i get reminded of them whenever i look at my inbox, it's an instinct atp. their brainrots are so fun & random (but that's a charm in itself /pos) !!! tbh i love elaborating them all so never stop sending the brainworms in <3 feel free to treat my inbox as a drop-off for ur thoughts LMAO /gen. come by again soon!

michiki anon - MY COUSINNNMNMN!!! i still love and miss when they'd come into my inbox to chat. it was so nice getting to know someone in a casual way <3 i hope ur doing well wherever u are, michikinon! i'm doing well these days and i hope u are too 🤍

rix anon - their series still has me FLOOOORED. i still think it deserves a proper platform than just thru my lil ol inbox. it deserves more recognition :( but just the fact that i got to help share their writing alone is an honor of its own!!! i hope ur doing well too, rix anon <3

++ everyone who has left a nice feedback / said anything nice in my notifs or my inbox!! even a simple 'cute' or 'this is good' or even just leaving a note means sososo much to me. i'm just a measly guy in my own little corner on this site, really - so thank u thank u thank u all !!! 🫂

#SORRY FOR THE PINGS Y'ALL 😵 #this is giving 'end-of-the-year post' energy LOL (it's literally the end of april) #but yes why not <33 #ask box! 📬 #anon visitors!

[bylertruther]

within the context of byler fights, i see a lot of people say that mike is short-tempered and like while that may be true i feel like will is even quicker to just... snap. like, he gets very emotional very quick. in their fights, mike's voice stays pretty constant and even, but will's quickly starts getting watery, loud, pointed, cracking, etc. he speaks from his chest. his tone goes up and down. he uses his hands a lot. his eyes are wild and wide and boring into mike, challenging him almost. he pokes at mike. still, mike doesn't escalate; he matches will's hurt with his own, but he doesn't outwardly burn quite as hot. not with him. i just.. idk. i think it's interesting. will's anger is often overlooked or outright ignored in fandom, but it's very clearly there.

#i just think of the rink o mania fight n the rain fight n also tht 'freak' talk he had with jonathan in s2 #and like yeah mike is immediately squaring up with literally everyone else going from 0 to 100000 #but with will? that does NOT happen. the most tht he snapped was during the rain fight when he was mean n raised his voice #but even then it wasn't as strong as how will was yelling. it was very obviously just a reflex and he IMMEDIATELY backed down #and reeled it in. and in the rink o mania fight he's not speaking to him in a warm tone but it's when will says i waSNT bEINg a DOUCHE in #tht emotional tone tht mike matches it but again it's the same story #he's not reaching will's level of rage and he doesn't even FLINCH or MOVE when will touches him #when it's them in their own little world mike controls himself n will is the one tht burns bright n hot #like. he's not ur uwu soft boy !!!!!!!! he gets Big Mad!!!!! he uses his hands he pinches his face he gets attitude he pokes n jabs!!! #in literally every other scenario will is the 👀 to mike's 🤬 #but when they're arguing with each other it's mike's 😐🥺😟🫤😢 to will's 😒😤🤬🫵🗣 #when it comes to will mike routinely backs down and deescalates and goes to make it right afterward #n if they come away still angry with each other then he keeps it to himself in the sense tht its not an all out war situation like w max #like idk. i just think it's interesting to think abt. #byler #mike #will #byler thoughts #if this goes in the tag i'll jump bt i want this in my own tags </3

[benrybenrybenry-chr]

being into sherlock holmes is so stupid like. yeah here's my blorbo, you don't know him. you think you do, but unless you've systematically fallen in love with him through the personal writings of his retired army doctor best friend you really don't. yeah. he's one of the most popular and well known characters in the world. I have interacted with at least 60% of the current fans. hey do you think he associates the sounds of waterfalls with death? do you think he'll ever get over that? I won't. good talk

#sherlock holmes #acd canon #acd holmes #acd sherlock holmes #like idk bro something abt it is so surreal to me #it also just feels so stupid to say when ur talking to people who dont. get it #they think of him like an icon more than a beloved book character #like he isnt a character to them hes a representation of detective media #so it seems silly to them #yk that I care that much #its interesting #to me at least #those books mean way more to me than they probably should #its probably the autism

[thepunkmuppet]

the reason why transfem elias is my favourite theory for gwendolyn is because think about the implications.

so let’s say this alternate universe reveals that elias is actually transgender, and would present/identify as female if they had the opportunity to figure themself out and transition (elias was reportedly very young when jonah possessed them)

then the idea that in the tma universe they not only didn’t live long enough to do that, but THEIR BODY WAS TAKEN OVER BY SOMEONE ELSE WHO THEN PRESENTED IN A MASCULINE WAY AND LIVED AS A MAN USING THEIR FACE AND BODY FOR OVER TWENTY YEARS?!? FUCKING TERRIFYING

as a trans person myself, even though the real elias was dead the dysphoria that idea gives me is absolutely unreal, and really creeps into serious body/existential horror territory which i think would be really interesting and very in-character for a writer like jonny to explore.

#idk how they would explain her not being voiced by ben meredith but honestly it’s whatever i like this idea too much to think abt semantics #it’s just so horrible #the freaky friday trope was never something i could even entertain happening to myself #because someone else looking at my body!! and having control over it!! and potentially wearing feminine clothes and makeup and aaahhhhhh #i hate it #it’s a very interesting and nasty horror concept to me #transfem elias is real if this doesn’t turn out to be canon i will probably write it #the magnus archives #tma #the magnus protocol #tmagp #elias bouchard #gwendolyn bouchard #jonah magnus

[lorephobic]

literally nobody asked for it, but here's my list of saltburn essays that i've slowly been drafting over the course of the last week which WILL be required reading for anybody trying to engage with me about this movie. my very personal saltburn 101 syllabus just dropped

A Wolf in Deer's Clothing: Saltburn's Attempt at Innocence

an examination of party costumes and our character's last attempts to masquerade as something they're not: felix—an angel, all-forgiving and all-knowing, something to be worshiped; and oliver—a prey animal, prey to class-divide, prey to saltburn, prey to felix.

thoughts about oliver specifically are loosely organized in my #bambi tag

A Midsummer Night's Mare: Farleigh Start as the Ultimate Victim of Saltburn

a farleigh character study, about the ways he was mistreated and manipulated at saltburn, about fighting to stay alive and the scars left behind by knowing when to give in

alternatively titled "QuickStart", may be adapted into a conclusive essay specifically focusing on oliver and farleigh's relationship

The Eye of the Beholder: On Saltburn's Voyeurism & Violence [working title]

how wealth and class pushes the catton's toward the volatile reality of being able to look, but not touch. on desire and the lack thereof, and portraying yourself as an object to be desired

may end up as two separate essays on wealth and aestheticism but i'm pushing toward a conclusive essay about the intersection of the two, which i feel is at the heart of saltburn

alternatively titled "Poor Man's Pudding: A Melvillian Approach to Saltburn's Class", again, may be adapted into it's own essay

Gender-Fluid: A Study in Sexuality and Saltburn's Desire to be Dry

a deep dive into the bodily fluids of saltburn and how oliver upsets the standard of men who are just so lovely and dry. on the creative choice to lean into the messy wetness of sex and desire and the audience's instinct toward repulsion

a celebration of the grotesque and an examination of why we would label it as such

least developed of the four, heavily inspired by @charnelpit's lovely post about the fluids in saltburn

if anybody is actually interested in any of these, i can work toward something closer to a finished piece instead of just bullet points and quotes in a google doc, but mostly this is so i can share my very brief takes on a multitude of themes in saltburn that have been haunting me

edit for people seeing this in the future: all posts about my essays are being organized into my #saltburn 101 tag if you’re interested in following these through to development!

#saltburn #saltburn posting #really desperately need someone to pay me to write saltburn essays all day #or else these will never be more than a smattering of bullet points #and these are only the most developed of the millions of the thoughts that i've had rolling around in my brain this last week #idk if lengthy meta-essays are interesting to literally anyone other than me #but if any of these speak to u and u have thoughts abt them #of course u are welcome to send them my way #i think all of these were born out of either seeing bad fandom takes (ie. everything ive seen about farleigh and oliver) #or rly good fandom takes that haven't been talked about enough like the fluids thing #anyway #oh also if u want any interview clips that back up any of these ideas i have a list thats like a million miles long #and would be happy to dig for any specific things im talking about here #bambi #also also im sorry i kno the colon in academic essay titles is so overused i just love a subtitle sm #i love love love a clever little essay title. titling my essays was literally my favorite part of the essay process in college #saltburn 101

[opens-up-4-nobody]

:-P

#how long ago did i watch pacific rim? i feel like it might have been last year but i finally drew this lmao #sometimes it just takes a while. newt specifically gets under my skin tho bc i think his research interests r kinda similar to mine #at least in a broad sense. but im dealing with cyanobacteria which is less exciting to most ppl lol but any fanfic i read thats like: newt #has 6 phds im like fucking what? what r they in? they have to be literature based right?! when would u have time to independently design. #carry out. write and defend for 6 independent projects in different topics by his age? #what as waste of time. i say as a person who would happily fuck around and collect degrees without ever having to get a real job #idk characters i relate to make me a little unhinged bc i do not like to relate to characters lol #pacific rim #herman gottlieb #newt geiszler #newton geiszler #tw blood #tw gore #also i agree with herman abt the numbers quote. physics is like literally understanding the fabric of the universe so like yeah #also i cant draw hermann and i cant see his face without thinking of owen from torchwood who i hated lol #pacrim

[kagoutiss]

divine intoxication

#tloz #ocarina of time #oot #ganondorf #i think abt how oot was the first time he’d ever transformed into beast ganon and i cri #and how it seems like in any scenario where he gets to return to being a human he tries to stay that way #or at least not be controlled by a power that turns him into something else completely. like make it into a puppet he can control #and even in TP when he turns into dark beast ganon it looks like he was initially trying to reform back into a human but lost control #and doesnt even. try to go back to that form. doesn’t even acknowledge it just fights you as a human for the last 2 phases #i feel like while ganondorf and ganon are the same actual person their mental states are just so far deviated from each other that it’s #frightening for ganon to imagine being reduced back to a human being with no power #and frightening for ganondorf to imagine returning to a state that is completely uninhibited and often devoid of rational thought #which to me is like. an extreme version of having severe mood swings. or being on/off medication and feeling like 2 different people #idk its interesting. ganondorf ganon dichotomy my love

[why-the-heck-not]

2nd batch of sourdough! Lots better than the first, actually got some crumb structure this time (bc the starter is finally ready for bread)

#it's 70% hydration 20% starter and 16h bulk fermentation & 6h of proofing #I think I like the 70% hydration for now #it's still enough moisture to get that open structure but easy to work with #(hydration is the thing that makes the crumb structure open&tender so kind of the higher hydration dough u have the better the bread but th #problem with high-hydration dough is that it's real hard to work with so gotta build some skills before can move onto those #like some professionals even make 100% hydration doughs) #(the percentage is like how much water you have in comparison to the flour: 100% is like if u have 500g of flour you also have add 500g of #water or like 70%: 500g flour and 350g of water) #this is just a 250g of flour one tho bc I live alone and don't want waste/my freezer full of bread #idk if these interest anyone but idc it's my blog I'm going to be posting abt sourdough #should make up a tag for these #elvis bread #it's that one ^^ for now until (if) I can come up with a better one bc my starter is named Elvis #sourdough #april 2024 #2024

[puppyeared]

its so hard to watch time pass when things like careers and assignments exist. what do you mean im supposed to take that seriously

#I have an assignment that was due a week ago and I really really dont want to do it. I have to but i dont want to #im probably making it worse because my brain has built a wall around it so now i can’t do literally anything else until thats done. but #because I don’t want to do it I’m just kinda stuck. turns out this is what they meant when they said emotional regulation is part of #exec dysfunction.. I’ll have a thought like if I get a little bit of it done now i can get it over with. I can just submit something #and then not even 5 minutes later itll be like ugh but I have to draw all the assets out. I have to write things and make spreads ugh #and its just flopping between those two things. i hate it when ppl are like well how much time do you need to work on one thing #because BOY id love to know too. I’d love to know exactly when my brain wants to cooperate with me and work around that but I cant #even my period can’t decide when it wants to punch me in the stomach. which is kinda funny in the grand scheme of things but still #its so weird im just lying on my bed thinking abt all this like damn.. the time will pass anyways no matter what I decide to do.. damn…. #if I submit that assignment now and take the L I literally won’t die. it’ll just be a deduction on an assignment nobody will ask me about #I know this but I’m still stressing myself about it so my thoughts aren’t really connecting to my body. weird #maybe its because Im having a hard time looking forward to things. theres definitely a lot I should be living for but I don’t really feel #a strong attachment to it I guess? it’s been like this for a while with holidays and meeting with friends so I just don’t #I kinda figured its because im pretty passionless and its more like passing interest. but it’s not very fun when it feels like I’m going to #be living distraction to distraction for the next 70 years or so lol #idk it kind of feels like slowly bleeding out. which is funny because I actually did experience blood loss this week #had a 30 minute nosebleed and literally could not stand. also it felt like someone was pinching the back of my brain which was interesting #yapping #does this count as vent #vent #Ive just been making an oc carrd and contemplate changing my blog header for the past 3 days honestly

[spookygibberish]

Dogstock are typical of what are often deemed the ‘evil’ races in many other fantasy works. They were created by some higher force to be slaves, they are carnivorous by nature, they resemble animals other than human in dentition and build. They growl and bite and walk behind.

The Uhasr (a dogstock culture) are descendants of such slave-infantry that was abandoned when the empire that used them to capture the steppes decided the land wasn’t so profitable after all, and more pressing matters drew their attention elsewhere. Like tools left spent on the ground, the unneeded, excess dogstock were left to survive on their own in Hochkiskuph. The native peoples, of course, did not welcome them any more, or see them any less as oppressors when the hand released the lead. To the Hochkiskuph peoples, the Uhasr are a predatory ghost, an echo that consumes them even in absentia. To the Uhasr, one human is much like another, differing in number and equipment, but never in essence. Uhasr are a species of wild animal with a human face. Humans are prey on two legs. Humans smoke and poison uncovered dens on principle, Uhasr abduct and consume men and women and children all the same.

A common trend I have noticed in media which aims to humanize monsters, is that it often relies on passivity. Humanity is contingent upon kindness. The monster that is A Person only so long as they are a harmless thing at heart, something which can be understood and befriended. Their violence is reluctant, their hearts noble. Grace is a concession to the dominated. Only the toothless beast, declawed and pinioned and caged, is one which has earned its personhood. The ontological enemy supersedes the ontological man.

#haven't posted them much (all wips) but been thinking about the sphinxish people in my setting. same world as thrones #different part of the continent like 2 whole seas away #this is inspired by a shitty comic a friend is reading and also thinking some of the writing in the long way to a small angry planet re #hostile aliens really really sucked. #i want to talk abt this more so im posting it if you have thoughts i would like to hear themmmmm #i'm very cynical about this kind of stuff lmao #dogstock #im also reading tollkien rn so im thinking about ORCS #i dont actually like the lotr trilogy all that much but not even bc i think the writing is bad i just think its kinda boring. sorry. #thats not a very interesting reason to not like something i dont even think its not good im just not super entertained. rip #like not saying there is no issue with it at all writing wise there is very much to say abt how it is utterly and uncritically #white good black bad fair elves and dark orcs and shit like that #but i've liked things more that have bigger issues. hi pern. maybe i just like shlock! idk! #rambling. im keyed up hi #the gibberish in spookygibberish

[milfygerard]

but fr outside of my contracted madness i absolutely refuse to give joe alwyn gold rush like how is that song at all related to their relationship the lyrics clearly spell out a relationship that either never existed or only existed in implication and fantasies and maybe-maybe nots and its so bitter and yet desperately soft in the bridge where it almost projects a sense of envy, of wanting to be them as much as you want them. It continues an interesting oft ignored lyrical trend of taylor wanting just as much to be her lover as to have them, envying their easy charisma (you were flush with the currency of cool/i was always turning out my pockets) or quiet dignity (your integrity makes me seem small) dating back to her earliest songs (the kind of flawless i wish i could be). Theres a projected self hatred and yearning to be better that twists itself into both romantic and sexual lust for her partners thats so fascinating and speaks to how all of her songs regardless of who theyre about are also an act of self reflection on who she is and who she wishes to be.

#barry.txt #taylor swift #putting this in the tags as a form of self protection but make no mistake this is a gay thing to do especially in gold rush #which through simple context clues is Obviously About A Woman or maybe even women in general #whivh is a totally seperate post on how taylor constructs and uses gender identity in her music #her girlhood and femininity are earnest but also so carefully constructed and so high effort and kind of desperate #shes a deeply self concious and obsessive person who never looks comfortable in anything ever unless shes #onstage or like. by herself in loose jeans and a tshirt #i think thats one of the things that subconsciously irritate ppl when it comes to her shes constantly and clearly putting in effort #to appear As The Celebrity Taylor Swift and struggles not to self censor or overperform in interviews (when she gives them) #especially present in pre 1989 interviews where the interviewers really didnt have to respect her or worry abt how they frame her #if they didnt want to. Like the fearless era rolling stone interview where she almost has a meltdown over her mom buying eggnog instead of #milk. That whole interview is strange looking back not just bc of the weird misogyny but also because of what it does share #taylor is....weird. She has a strange and desperate vibe and always reacts slightly too much and uses slang poorly #shes media trained and has learned how to socialize but you can feel her discomfort whenever she doesnt have a guitar in her hand #idk these tags have once again gotten so unweildy. i just find it interesting that she finally feels some level of comfortable #in sharing that construction w us in songs like mirrorball and mastermind and imo gold rush #and scene #should i write this up and put it in the swiftieism zine #i should write something and put it in the swiftieism zine