#like im..... why would you WANT them to be in a real relationship literally thats not in character for kara lol | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sillyyuserr · 1 month

Note

I LOVE YOUR ANALYSES SO MUCH

You could make an analysis abt how Teru acts subtly jealous of Aoi.

He said he hates how Akane acts around Aoi, he interrupted their kiss, he looked sad when they were talking at the fireworks party, and there’s other examples that I don’t remember aswell of him seeming salty about things that could signal jealousy.

THANK YOU SM AHHH <3 i look up to u omg this is an honor

terukane mini analysis 🤍 this time, centered on teru’s jealousy of aoi

Item A: teru disliking the way akane is around aoi

i’m seeing a reoccurring pattern of teru showing a disliking for akanes crush on aoi.

Now this is really interesting, because why tf would he dislike how he likes her?? Outside of a shippers perspective its pretty confusing right? Maybe because we have to look at it through a shippers perspective. what other logical explanation is there for why he dislikes it other than “wishing downfall on their relationship because he hates fun and love” than him quite possibly liking one of them? And by one of them, i mean akane.

he not only knows akane more, but seems to be quite comfortable with him. Akane being teru’s only actual friend, if he can even call him that. We’ve seen panels of teru pictured with other kids in frame, yet alone himself

Showing he’s never really had friends. Yes he’s had people he talks to, but no actual friend friends. But then, akane came along. he’s the only thing aside from school/exorcism he has going on, leading to him constantly being on his mind, so much so to the point of him literally talking ab him to his siblings when it seems clear no one asked and he’s talking from his mind

Back to teru’s crush, teru doesnt even know aoi. I mean he knows her, but doesnt know know her. On the other hand, he knows and likes akane alot so teru liking akane would make more sense than him liking aoi.

Item B: teru disliking when aoi + akane are together w/o him

he was eavesdropping in on their ‘moment’ here, but as soon as akane was ab to kiss aoi thats kinda where teru drew the line and interrupted.

Playing it off as him simply running into them.

later after saving aoi, when akane and her were back together again, teru was moping ab it being seemingly jealous.

he was SO jealous that just seeing them hold hands like that gave him the motivation to get up and walk down there (motivation he hasn’t had for at least a few days)

Him also asking aoi if she wanted to hangout at the festival with him (presumably because he didnt want her and akane to hangout together, but she ended up rejecting the both of them)

we dont have many one on one teru and aoi interactions so i didnt have much to go off of. Pls excuse me if any of this is poorly written, or if i Interpreted anything wrong 😭

sorry this took a bit it took me awhile to think of what to write cus usually i KNOW what im getting myself into but for them its so spread out and confusing

anyway terukane real :33

#real #tbhk #terukane #aoi akane #minamoto teru #aidairo #analysis

56 notes · View notes

maneaterss · 1 year

Text

-peace

"be at peace with the things you cant change, ill be naked when i leave i was naked when i came"

pairing: richarlison x insert

summary: two lovers endure their last night together.

cw: implications of sex, angst.

authors note: first tumblr writing thing ever idk how to do this please comment or whatever so i don't get unmotivated and PLEASEEEE leave requests im begging!! so happy argentina won the wc today though they all deserves it.

flashbacks of last nights lingering touches and sloppy kisses in the back of a taxi bring you back to reality as you sit with your legs hung over his bed, your headache persistent but not as evident as the distress on both of your faces. he couldnt even look at you as he pulled his boxers back on and you your shirt.

"should i call you a cab?" he asks, only now daring to look in your eyes- the first real look in days, and it was obvious he was doing this to avoid the much needed conversation.

you pulled your jeans on and looked back at him as you buttoned them, "thats it?" his eyes don't skip a beat before they tear away from yours and onto the wall behind you. "seriously richarlison thats fucking it?"

somewhere in your heart this was your final cry for help in this relationship, you hoped and prayed in your head that he would realize that he wants to try things with you again and that he's just not ready to abandon you just let, and you would jump into his arms and tell him how much you love him.

"what do you want me to say, y/n."

"tell me you don't love me anymore," tears were threatening to leak from your eyes, "or tell me why you had to fuck me one more time before you ended us."

he laughed and ran his hand down his face.

he laughed

"why do you need to hear it if you already know?" he muttered, suffering wasnt even beginning to explain what you were feeling, your heart must have quite literally shattered. you just couldn't understand how he was upset with your mere presence but you can still manage to look into his eyes without remembering the man you shared everything with, the man who would stare at you for hours and admire your features, who'd buy you your favorites things and wash your hair at night, who'd kiss every inch of your body and tell you how perfect you were.

your face was blank but a tear fell, and in that moment something snapped in him. his eyes softened and his arms fell to his side as he rushed over to wrap his arms around you and breath into your neck, telling you those beautiful things that you'd never hear from his lips after tonight, you pushed and shoved- you refused to be intoxicated by his love when you didn't even have it anymore, but he didn't move. his grip around you tightened as you felt him shake followed by an escaped sob.

you broke down as-well, sliding down the wall to the floor where you both sat, his back against the wall and his front against you where you sit in between his legs. you were both a mess of tears and more sobs, "im so sorry." you heard from his scratchy voice, "god im so sorry." he put his chin on top of your head as he clenched his jaw.

you stayed like this until the dark sky faded into yellow through his apartment windows, and even then- in his arms you could still feel his absence.

after that you would only see him in occasional social media posts or interviews, and you would never admit that you'll still watch him play and imagine it was you sitting in the stands again cheering him on.

#richarlison #richarlison icons #richarlison imagines #richarlison imagine #richarlison smut #richarlison angst #richarlison fluff #richarlison de andrade #brazil #tottenham #neymar #neymar jr #neymar imagines #neymar imagine #world cup

491 notes · View notes

itgirlgyu · 11 months

Text

TXT MTL! would i smoke my first weed with them?

◌⃘ ⪩☘️⪨ ۫ ִ✮ txt.ot5% ໒꒱ WORD COUNT⇆ 613!﹒☆WARNINGS: do not condone smoking, will never smoke﹒♡﹒🔋

★◜YEONJUN...

ah yes I will actually smoke with him.

because I think he will hook me with some fine imported mary jane.

puff puff pass baby.

i would be like, yeonjun ☝️☺️ i heard for the first timer you have to pass the smoke from your mouth,,

also like of course he would consume nothing but the best of it.

his dealer probably wears some gucci set as he delivers it to him.

he won't even ask me to venmo the money back to him.

he would probably start acting like best friends though, trying to tell me his relationship problems.

like no sir

which is a con because i want to get into his pants.

sorry yeonjun im not your bro.

★◜SOOBIN...

hard no.

he doesn't even know where his dealer is from.

but dude smelled fine so maybe it's ok to consume.

but im not ready for that kinda risk in my life.

to be honest he only smokes to get some good sleep so he isn't even the best option to smoke with.

very boring.

04/10

that four is because the off chance you find him in a happy mood and got to smoke and he will actually take off his clothes and twerk if provoked enough.

★◜BEOMGYU...

i think for the first time he would be fine.

but like soobin, don't expect him to know where his dealer shits from.

probably gets his shit while his dealer is getting chased by police.

which to be honestly would be thrilling if beomgyu wasn't crying half the drive.

still has the audacity to be like,, bestie you ready?!?!

as if he didn't commit to half his life crimes on the drive earlier.

bro got loser rizz.

probably tells you it's okay to hold his hands when you take your first puff.

would nod knowingly in sympathy when you shoot him a dirty look.

gets high way too fast.

you finish one puff and he's out in the corner, dazed out of his mind.

i think the quiet is fine, so yeah he will just do fine.

im not saying i might fall in love with him but i might.

and so will you.

thats why stay away from drugs kid.

★◜TAEHYUN...

doesn't do weed.

too classy for it.

i suggest mushrooms and he looks at me like i insulted that his grandmother smells like fake LV.

whatever that means.

but he is shocked, like his palm on his chest and mouth making perfect 'o'.

drinks alcohol like a real man.

maybe if you convinced to smoke with you, he will probably go into a catatonic state, like you won't know but he is not there.

mentally.

prefers edibles after hitting the bong a bit to many times despite his "irk" for it.

mannequin challenge 2k23 edition.

you push his arm and he's actually sleeping like a baby.

maybe the best one he's ever gotten.

would be a good smoking partner to be honest.

if he's awake for it of course.

★◜HUENING KAI...

best option.

just yes.

anything with him is a yes.

he would be so cool with you.

like he takes care of you.

also snatches the bong when you've done too much.

makes you eat stuff so you don't get too high and end up suffering the consequences.

kinda panics when he sees the stuff he made you eat were laced with edibles.

i want him as my best friend if that isn't clear yet.

probably gets really high off his mind.

but like very, very giggly way.

which is always the best version!

fuck weeds, id even do hard drugs with him ( i won't.)

aN from txt crack to txt literally doing crack.

©ITGIRLGYU 2023! feedbacks and reblogs are appreciated, and encouraged!

PERM TAGLIST / @impureperhaps @full-sunnies @wonioml @1921choi

141 notes · View notes

werlikestea · 2 months

Text

***SPOILERS FOR "REQUIEM OF THE SURVIVORS" EVENT***

Ok that was super interesting, the first event i was acually able to catch and it didnt dissapoint me, really needed that after finishing chapter 5.

So this explains a lot, especially why was everyone in Hades acting so suspicous of everyone ??? Maybe they acually mentioned it before but i just didnt get it or simply forgor

Also i love Leviathan's and Orias relationship like I laughed so hard when instead of hanging Orias for asking for his soul he simply said no 😂😂 my reaction was literally the same as everyone like ????

And when Leviathan was talking about his backstory with Orias it made so much sense (and made me tear up a little) for him to act the way he does with him like they literally survived together and he did save him too like its just 😭😭😭

And both of them can lie ???? Becouse of angels like thats so smart ?????

The fact that he is kind of protecting Orias becouse of their past is just so weird becouse HE LITERALLY TRIED TO KILL US AS SOON AS HE SAW USSS but also makes me like Leviathan so much more like he wants to trust him even when he wants to eat his soul like Levi i feel a little bad for you

Like aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

And Orias it makes quite a lot of sense for him to want to stay and look as young as possible seeing as how he might have lost his youth becouse of the experiments and even now if he didnt consume the angel's souls he would literally just die so yeaaa

Also love how everyone is just super overprotective of Leviathan like all of them just hate Orias so much becouse he is trying to hurt him

Forias here is so real, hes just like me fr

And OMG WHY IS LEVI SO HOT HERE I LITERALLY SCREAMED A LITTLE WHEN I SAW THIS ????? LIKE ???????? HE COULD CHOKE ME AND I WOULD THANK HIM ?????? LIKE THE FACE HIS BODY LIKE IM NOT EVEN SUPRISED ORIAS WANTS HIS SOUL I KINDA WANT IT TOO NOW ????

yea and i guess thats the end of my rant thank u for reading and have a nice day/nice sleep~

feel free to correct me orr tell me more of stuff i might not have noticed its my first time writing something like this dbdnnfndnnd

#whb #what in hell is bad #what in hell is bad spoilers #whb reqiuem of survivors #whb leviathan #whb orias #whb hades #werlikestea

47 notes · View notes

wandasaura · 2 months

Note

I am not even exaggerating when i say I came at every comment of wanda’s while playing with R in the kitchen in “See whats under that attitude” even tho both hands were on my phone. Thats exactly how i want mommy wanda to treat me!

Your writing is amazing and I am so grateful for how many of ur masterpieces you have fed us this past week. Definitely the best part of my week of stressful midterms was taking a break to read this AU!

I also had had a possible suggestion that i would love to see if u want an idea. R has been repeatedly hinting at their insecurity about the “realness” of their relationship with wandanat being more than just contract, so im not sure if u have already thought about this or plan to do it, but i would love to see wandanat being so excited for their anniversary with R but them being confused and concerned as to why R seems to be regressing back to behaviors exhibited towards the beginning parts of the relationship, like they are able to read R’s tells and know something is clearly bothering R while R claims everything is perfect. no matter how much prompting from wandanat, R refuses to communicate their insecurities about what the contract ending will lead to and think the big day wandanat have planned is to make the most of their last day together. R hopes that wandanat will announce the proposal of a contract extension but then contemplating the longer they stay with them, the harder leaving them will be when the contract does finally end, so R thinks maybe its best if the contract does end after only a year, and to just enjoy the last few days as best as possible. Obviously wandanat love R just as much as R loves them and with the incorporation of wanda, the relationship has gone beyond the contract and they assumed R thought the contract wasn’t really a thing anymore, and were just excited to celebrate the first year together of many.

Sorry i got caught up in the idea and wrote so much! but u got me obsessed with ur AU so how can u blame me

˚⋆｡°౨ৎ … i think you’re in my google docs… because this is literally what i’m writing right now… but shh if anybody asks i didn’t tell you that. i’m so glad you’re enjoying this series omg! and yes yes i agree, mommy wanda is so hot fr ౨ৎ °｡⋆˚

#a: anon #answered.#𝒶𝒸𝒸𝑜𝓇𝒹𝓈 ꔫ

37 notes · View notes

the-s1lly-corner · 5 months

Note

ADMIN I GOT A JUICY. JUICY IDEA.

Remember the Slenderman ask. Welp. I want him as a stuffed animal now.

Reader is mostly the same, exept forrr... lets say they have children. And pets. It's up to your interpritation how they got em i trust you.

And lets say they're close. Real close. Like "you weren't home today so i came in and watered your plants" close. Domestic closeness. Talking so much they can sometimes predict what the other will be doing/saying right now.

Reader is very affectionate but obv respects slendy so they just turn to actions and words to show him they care(although it can be a little hard for them to truly know what they're feeling and how to express emotions sometimes).

So, one day Slendys brother(not that one through.) comes for a casual chit-chat. "So how are things with you and reader? Plan to move together any time soon?" "No, why would we do that?" "Oh well i just throught with the nature of your relationship it would ve the next step, naturally.. you've been together for so long!" "..we're not together romantically, if that's what you're implying." "...you're literally raising kids together what do you mean." "....w.wbhjat."

Cue panik. He goes to talk to reader and they're like. Oh shidt. It do be not so just friendly.

Can be just queerplatonic or romantic, both are cute i think:3

Slenderman x slender-being!reader !

genuinely dont know what all to title this post since its so specific so i recommend for anyone reading this who isnt the silly requester to read through the request ueueue rolls around, im gonna get silly!

honestly i dont think slenderman would know much about romance and marriage. like he knows what they are but he doesnt know... everything about it. especially if its in terms of human stuff, with the rings and all that. you know? mostly because he doesnt exactly leave his woods and the number of people/creatures he actually properly interacts with and forms bonds with is very rare and so far, none were romantic...

and yet here he is, tending to your home in his woods that youve made for yourself, while youre away doing god knows what... it would be a shame if the plants in your home dried, or dust started to settle... or worse someone wandering into it when they arent allowed inside... though, thats even assuming they even manage to get that far into the woods given how possess of the area slenderman is

since he doesnt really have a basis to... base your relationship around, it doesnt take until someone else pointing out the dynamic to him. namely, the creatures he calls brothers

are they actually related in admins au? were they just created by zalgo at the same time? do they have the same genetics? honestly admin hasnt decided yet but they still view each other as siblings!

that aside, slenderman would definitely be in some form of denial. him? this man eating monster who mostly lives in solitude? the same one who has never felt the embrace of another person (/j but now that i think about it....)

THAT slenderman?

hell i dont even think its proper denial because he thinks he cant have those feelings.. not i think its denial because this really cant be what it is, right?

this leads to him doing what he does best; silently following someone.. usually in order to spook them out of the woods or to... hunt... but this time, hes simply observing you, trying to figure out if you're in the same boat at him

but you're just so vastly different from him in nature and personality that its hard to pinpoint your thoughts... sure he can read minds; i think most slender beiings can do that; but i dont think they can do it on other slender beings you know

doesnt approach you about it though, so youre going to be the one to ask him what the hell hes doing... again due to limited contact with others hes not the best at expressing his feelings or thoughts outwardly, hell even inwardly its weird for him but thats aside the point

i think im going to leave the ending open on what becomes of your relationship; but i think given how the reader is, they invite him into their home to talk things out with him. are you surprised that he has a possible crush on you? ....only a little since again, this is THE slenderman we're talking about... less that he may have feelings for you, but more so that you just thought he was on the aromantic spectrum

and thats no diss to my fellow aros; honestly i can easily see slenderman being greyromantic or demiromantic :3 ... maybe more so demiromantic, me thinks

rolls around

the ideas are not ideaing i apologize

#creepypasta x reader #creepypasta x you #slenderman x you #slenderman x reader #slenderman imagine #slenderman headcanon #creepypasta headcanon #creepypasta imagine

33 notes · View notes

electraslight · 1 year

Note

I care about ur Bevin headcannon I would love to hear

YES i finally get to yell abt these two, its my fav ship in the series idk why people arent more into it. Fanart is supplied as usual and i have some evidence-ey screenshots under the cut, mostly bc i want to share them w SOMEONE other than my friend blue. Enjoy my ramblings

-kevin is dating both ben and gwen, gwen and his relationship being a lot more outward and public and ben a more private relationship, they only ever kiss or hold hands when its just the two of them or (rarely) when gwen is around, partially bc of bens fame and his own hangups about liking men and partially bc when they are romantic they r extremely vulnerable with each other and thats the sort of thing they wouldnt want anyone else to see.

-(quoting from a discord dm w my friend) ben and kevin violence is something that if u saw it in a painting or a movie it would be rly profound and aweinspiring. in real life its also the same, but it feels so much like intruding when ur actually watchingbc kevin and ben have all their emotions about each other in v short bursts, theyll bottle them up 4 an extended period of time and then have som e massive cataclysmic event when it bubbles to the surface. there r literally no continual emotional moments between them like kevin and gwen who have contunious small emotions abt each other, kevin and ben will hang out 4 months at a time and then one day just start hitting each other, which is in a way a part of the romance

-in omniverse theres a scene where its shown that 12 year old kevin is in possession of a photo of ben that is suspiciously well worn, it has rips and stains and has been crumpled up and refolded a couple times. I like to think he kept that photo, whether to use as a beacon of hate or chew on and cry who knows.

-ben and kevin dont give a shit about what form the other takes, the only time ben has ever blushed about a guy is when mutant kevin grabbed him in the rooters arc and kevin is around alien versions of ben every day and doesnt bat an eye. This is why i think that once kevin and ben get together kevin makes a game about kissing all of his aliens (indiscriminatley. Even if they dont have mouths) he makes a scoring system and writes reviews on how good the experience was in glitter gel pen and makes a ranking list of his favorites. Stinkfly sweeps the vote, shocking everybody. Ben would rank kissing kevins mutations but only 2 out of 5 would even consider it before turning him into pink mist so he just sticks with what he knows.

- ben and kevin get married when theyre older and gwen stays in girlfriend status (mostly bc she knows that ben has a much shorter lifespan than her and kevin and she wants to give him the happiest time she can while hes still there) and they all live in a mansion the size of the white house. Kai comes by once a month to keep kenny happy (he still thinks shes his bio mom even after theyve told him multiple times she was just a donor. Gwen says he gets his delusions from ben). Ben and kevin like to sit on the 500 foot long porch and throw rocks at passerby and snuggle. Kevin is so happy he giggles mindlessly to himself in public, scaring strangers. He tries to get them to look at pictures of his family but this only further creeps them out.

-kevin finds the most random shit ben does extremely charming. hed look at him picking his boogers and eating them and he thinks in his head i need this guy so much. ben finishes a rubix cube not even very fast and kevins like wow. cool. do you like emos.ben is charmed by kevin in the same way. he sees kevin use the toilet brush to scratch an itch on his back and hes like fuck oh fuck oh fuck

I have more i prommy i just cant think of them rn, i will make more if im able. 4 now please have my collection of bevin screenshots under the cut. Spread the word my disciples. fair warning there are a lot

#ben 10 #ben tennyson #ben 10 omniverse #ben 10 alien force #kevin levin #ben 10 ultimate alien #ben 10 classic #ben 10 uaf #ben ten #bevin #ben 10 headcannon

229 notes · View notes

p0th · 9 months

Note

ik im probably rlly late to the party but what is objectum, like is it a role play thing, is it a coping thing? I need someone to explain it to me like im 5 bc i genuinely just don't understand what it is lol

So the literal definition of being objectum is someone who's attracted to inanimate objects, whether that be platonic, romantic, sexual, or somethin else. However, looking at it with only its literal definition doesn't really account for the intricacies that such a label brings.

I just want to point out that while some people see objects as alive (the label for that being POSIC), others dont. Animism is also a similar term for where people percieve inanimate things as having souls. Personally, I dont see my object as alive, but do sometimes use gendered terms to describe them and feel comforted by their presence. People can also be objectum and be attracted to actual people too.

Being objectum is also more common in autistic people. Object personafication is a common trait seen in autism and other disorders and i can see how that can lead people to being objectum. Though I have never been formally diagnosed with anything, i am probably neurodivergent & maybe that has a part in me identifying as objectum idk!! Theres a study on autism in objectum ppl here if u want to glance over it: https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-019-56449-0

For me, I started using the objectum label coincidentally around the time I started finally figuring out that i was aroace and not attracted to real people. I realized that the love I feel for my friends is equivalent to the love I feel for my hobbies and interests which was also the same love i felt towards certain objects. I drew this out cuz i think its a lil confusing how im saying it LOL. Theres also a thing called "conceptum" which is the attraction to concepts which I think i actually fall more into, but I just go by objectum because it is more general.

You know how people will swear they have this great relationship with nature? How they feel so so connected to plants and how they love watching the ocean and how they wish they could live outside forever because the forest is a part of their flesh and blood? How they feel more alive feeling the earths fresh air and how nature teaches them things they never even knew about themselves? okay, so, why is this normal to say but once u turn it around into something that’s an object it is insane talk!! I feel like there's this interesting dynamic where its okay to be super attached to nature but kinda weird to be super attached to inanimate things but i think i am rambling & getting off topic!!!

Personally, I dont really have objects that im attracted to in the same way I would be attracted to a human. It is very broad for me. Others though, have certain objects that they really like and thats fine. For me, going by that label just makes me comfortable even if i dont fit into the literal definition. I like computers in general, not just my own personal computer. Objectum for me is just another way to say that my love for inanimate things can be just as great as my love for animate things. Theres just so much complexity and nuance in it that it is hard to describe unless you've experienced it yourself.

As for it being a coping thing, I've heard some people say its a result of not being able to trust people due to past trauma, but i dont believe that's necessarily true for the majority of people and not too good to generalize. Ive grown up surronded by friends and in a loving environment and am able to maintain relationships with living people, but also use the label of objectum because it makes me comfortable.

I can very much see how someone can look at someone saying theyre attracted to objects and just cringe a little bit and thats okay LOL. At this point, I have been exposed to so many concepts -being online so much and surrounded by so many diverse people- that i just dont even pay it mind. But, I know a lot of people have literally never heard of this label before and are just weirded out by it. I think honestly people need to think about the limitless potential a relationship can be when in the hands of such a complex being as a human. At the end of the day though, it doesn't hurt anyone but its also okay to be a lil unsure of it as an outsider. Just be kind to others!!

Im sorry if this is a bit of word vomit, if u cant tell i got a lil too into it & my thoughts tend to be rlly scattered LOL. thank u 4 the ask & plz let me know if u need any clarity on anythin cuz i know i am very hard to follow at times !!!

#ok to reblog #ask #objectum #os/or #WHY DID I WRITE SO MUCH #i didnt proof read this either so plz ignore any mistakes ToT #just know everyones experience is different #also sorry if u have like. no background on this stuff i kinda just presumed u knew the basic idea </3 #also also i did not know what u meant by roleplay sorry!!!

39 notes · View notes

mcl38 · 2 months

Note

lmao i had to unfollow a mclaren moot because they took the "twink" thing to an extreme and were pointing out how he's just oscar's little twink and would always be fragile and small instead of big and strong and fit like "broadscar" and i really just had to. 🤦‍♀️ fit? FIT? lando was the only driver not on the brink of fainting after qatar, not everything in f1 is about how "broad" and "muscular" you seem. i wanted to give the benefit of doubt at first but when the fetishizing gay relationships turned into pushing these bodyshaming stereotypes onto a literal professional athlete i was out.

i mean its so wild bc half of them seem to give the twink descriptor to both drivers and half specifically pin it on lando because hes smaller than oscar & make it into a whole Dynamic of lando being sooo toppable or whatever. which just shows that there isnt actually any weight to 'twinklaren' at all and it rly is meaningless, bc surely if it was clear cut and obvious these differences wouldnt exist ykwim? like its just about what serves their fandom purpose in that moment

idk i think as much as the term broadscar is unfortunately quite funny to me, f1 fandom discussions abt weight and bodies r kind of bound to become problematic (real sense not 2014 tumblr sense) bc of the requirements of the sport. the way lewis has said that hes not allowed to bulk up because it would make his weight balance too lopsided (as a side note u guys do not know how ready i am for post retirement bicep BEAST lewis hamilton. the only way im gonna survive him retiring) etc like its not just about appearance for them.

in terms of how lando is fit like ur 100% right - stuff like qatar shows that he (and jon) has been doing his due diligence w preparing for these conditions. u can also just see in that last quadrant video how hes obviously very physically fit and ready for the season. its just that bodies have natural differences between them - oscar is genetically taller, lando is genetically more flexible; oscar is naturally broader around his arms, lando is naturally broader around his back, etc. and its not necessarily an issue to point these things out or even joke about them (when ppl say daniel's got birthing hips it still makes me laugh and its been years since i first heard it) but at some point it does start to show a fundamental misunderstanding of what f1 drivers do. like do i need to pull up the real sweat im a high performance athlete clip or what

so thats on the body stuff. re: the twink stuff i think the reason it rubs me, you, many ppl wrong even before we consciously realise it is like. a twink is a type - not just a body type, a *type*. in the gay male* community, you identify yourself as a twink (or bear, otter, etc) because some people are particularly attracted to twinks, bc they have a type. then obviously because the gay community is way more than just sexual attraction & has a lot of cultural capital, the term twink gained connotations and cultural history etc and grew past that. but the origins are still very much in gay male* attraction. so now that the term has become accessible to ppl who arent in that community, and therefore arent *participating*, identifying someone by their physical characteristics (and maybe implied penetrative sex preference) no longer has the subtext of appeal, but of derision. because no longer is it implied that everyone involved is a gay man*, which means calling someone a twink also implicitly calls them gay. and i think 'twink' specifically gained traction compared to other types also bc of its association w femininity in one's physical appearance - which, again, ur just derogatorily calling someone feminine and gay. even if, say, ur a member of the lgbt community who isn't a gay man*, it still carries the subtext - like anon u completely correctly identified the condescending undertones of whoever ur talking about. which is why i say we should just bring back fag #justsayfag

#anon #ask #lando #oscar #meta #* - using these words for the sake of simplicity not w the purpose to erase the nonbinary and trans ppl who do participate in that communit #also bc i cant help myself. part of y lando was alright in qatar was bc he never normally drinks during races so hes used to the dehydratio #dehydration army rise UP is u hear me put ur hands upppp lemme see those veins

15 notes · View notes

quodekash · 1 year

Text

ITS ABAAB EP 7 TIME and i am sorry

warning: lots of happiness, too much happiness. take a shot of water every time i say any variation of ‘HAPPY’. stay hydrated, folks.

wait what happened to cher? did i miss something?

i dont remember how the last episode ended so its very possible that i missed something

awh 🥺

thE BED IS STILL ON AN ANGLE WHY IS THE BED ON AN ANGLE SOMEONE FIX THIS IM BEGGING YOU, ITS GOTTA BE A SAFETY HAZARD

pls they look so comfy

it looks like theyve been married for a thousand lifetimes

so comfyyyyy

rIGHT, THEIR GROUP HAD A FIGHT, THAT’S WHAT HAPPENED TO CHER, I REMEMBER NOW

YEYEYEYEYEYEYEYEYEYEAH BEACH EPISODE = PURE HAPPINESS AND DOPAMINE

THREEZO AT THE BEACH

WE’RE GONNA GET THREEZO AT THE BEACH

IM LITERALLY ABOUT TO CRY IN ANTICIPATION OF BEACH

i know i already said it like four times BUT THIS LOOKS SO FREAKING COMFY WHAT THE HELL

THREEZO THREEZO THREEZO

HELLO MY LOVELIES HOW ARE YOU TODAY

theyre literally in the middle of the frame omg

little babby

i love him

he’s tall but he’s smol

his HAIR

LOOK AT IT

THE HAIR IS SO FLUFFY

i think my favourite things about this series are jack’s hair and threezo

and theyre both tied for first place

three’s apology to jack is so freaking sweet omg

i love him too much

he struggles with words and communicating but he wants everyone to be happy and he doesnt want conflict and he feels responsible for everything and he is perfection and also he’s either adhd or asd or both, i dont make the rules

HAPPY

omg his awkward laugh is so cute why was that so cute

his sweet little ‘hah hah’

HIS FACE MAKES ME HAPPY

HAPPYYYYY

(damn i did gun/force dirty on that screenshot)

his freaking face

its making me happy

this is a happiness overload

im not used to this much joy in my system

what do i do with it

HAPPYYYYYYYYY

dads.

everyone can see you btw. just letting you know. you’re just standing there, holding hands

i mean that’s great, good job, not being scared is funky (but its also funky to be scared), it’s just that. you know. if your friends ask questions later and you dont want them to suspect anything then like. it’s your fault.

altho maybe they dont care if their friends find out, idk at this point

ignore me

HAPPY

everyone ganging up to push gun in the water. that’s what friendship truly is

HAPPY

they teleported

three was next to zo, jack was between cher and zo. they switched.

hOW?

HAPPYYYYY

THE HAIR

LOOK AT THE HAIR

they always figure out a way to squeeze it in

OMG

SOBBING

IM SOBBING

THATS SO CUTE

HELP

DAMN RIGHT

his hair is a mess lmao

bRO

HE SAID IT

HE SAID THE THING

ZOGUN FRIENDSHIP BONDING SCENE OMG HAPPINESS

he’s known from the very freaking beginning

before cher even knew

the gaydar is strong bro

HIS FREAKING FACE

HAPPY

HE HAPPY

PFFFFFFT

i love their friendship so much omg

(that screenshot looks like hes about to punch him lmao)

“zo, what is love?” i can feel it, im about to punch a wall or smth bc something threezo is coming

“what is love for you?” “three.” yUP I KNEW IT OMG IM GONNA FREAKING CRY

HAIR

FLUFFY FLUFFY FLUFFY ITS SO FLUFFY

i think i love this man (and his hair) a little too much but its fine

GJK3BERKJGBVRKEBGR

GUN WHAT THE HELL

AGAIN, THEY LOOK SO FREAKING COMFY

well shoot. thoop is mad at cher for being involved with gun.

good news is: i dont think its homophobia

it’s just that he doesnt want cher to move on from tian (thoop himself cant move on from tian) and he doesnt want cher to find a relationship because that means, in thoop’s eyes, he’s letting tian go, and thoop cant really deal with that because he’s ✨mentally ill✨

get some sleep my man

I LOVE HOW MUCH HE LOVES HIS FRIENDS

HES SO FREAKING CARING

HE WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR HIS FRIENDS

HED PROBABLY NEVER ADMIT IT BUT HE’S A REAL FREAKING SOFTY ON THE INSIDE

1. ive never seen more serious finger guns

2. you’re not bi, sir, why are you doing finger guns

3. finger GUNs

that is all

FINAL THOUGHTS:

if they dont give us a threezo kiss by the end of this show i will scream.

74 notes · View notes

sigmabateman · 9 months

Text

thank you so much @velvetcrowbar444 for tagging me to talk about 5 things im obsessed with at the moment!!

this got longer than i anticipated so im putting it under the cut, but for simplicity's sake i'll tag people up here: @nights-decay, @boycentriccplot, @flaming-tsunami, @sourgelatin no pressure though of course!

persona 5... ok i have to be honest ive been really reluctant to talk about this on here and its why ive been quiet the past at least week or so. no idea why. i guess cause its so different from the stuff i usually post about that i feel like, embarrassed? but i started playing persona 5 royal around may and really liked it but i didnt have the time to properly get into it until now and it has completely taken over my life entirely without me even realising. to be honest i could obsess over like a rock on the ground if i saw it at the right time in my life but hands down persona 5 is one the best if not the best game ive ever played in my life. the story is engaging, the characters are distinctive and realistic and i really really care about all of them, the gameplay is so much fun and combat is buttery fucking smooth like nothing ive ever played before, the music is top tier and what got me interested in the game in the first place, and the ART DIRECTION. it speaks for itself to be honest ESPECIALLY compared to the older games. i was shocked starting persona 4 because of how different it is to persona 5 like, persona 5 has SUCH a distinct visual identity as well as tone, themes, imagery etc it is all just so stunning and perfect and i want to live in it. but i think about it so often like literally 24/7 that i may as well be. i <3 persona 5 and i <3 YUSUKE KITAGAWA. he's definitely my favourite character and he came out of NOWHERE but hes actually everything in the world to me. one of the characters ever.

persona 4 is it a copout to say that? i did try and condense both games into one bullet point but 1. they're such a mainstay in my life right now i was struggling to think of more points and 2. it kind of lost its precision and didn't effectively convey just how personapilled i am right now. i originally wasn't gonna play 4, all i knew is that it was more difficult and less good so i thought i should stay away. but if you go anywhere persona-related on the internet (which i would warn against, the fandom is a fucking cesspit the likes of which i havent seen in a long time as an obscure-shit-enjoyer) you'll quickly run into adachi. and as a lover of men with high-pitched voices and sexypedia entries... i couldn't stay away. before even starting the game i had made a d6 and d20 with different adachis on each face so really it was just a matter of time. and you know what... it's not that bad. the graphics were a SHOCKING step down but i find the low(er) poly style really charming. the adachi model is too cute T_T whenever i see it in the game world i just wanna sit with it for ages. i wonder if i could get it like 3d printed so i could keep him on my desk with me at all times... its bad for me ! the combat is fucking clunky espeically compared to 5 and i kind of hate it but that just makes it more rewarding when i can finally stop LOL. some of the characters (especially the main few (yosuke, chie, yukiko)) took a bit to grow on me but its kind of sweet.. its like authentic.. our relationship is growing as i get to know them better... but dojima and nanako ive loved since i first set eyes on them. too cute. it makes me feel so fatherless. its like.. a lot more magnetic than i expected it to be. i love it even with all its flaws. i saw a meme about it being like twin peaks and thats kind of so real. and you know i love a murder mystery... so yeah tldr i like persona now. but its hard to talk about it on here because it is such a big fandom but not like an active one like spiderman or like good omens or whatever slightly more normal people are watching so its kind of intimidating. maybe ill get over myself, maybe ill go silent for 3 months until i get into something new. we'll see i guess LOL

my gender identity TUMBLR MOMENT I KNOW but i dont know.. ive had a lot of time to myself recently and its kind of brought things to the surface that i just didnt have time or space to think about before. turns out there was a LOT OF STUFF i was repressing without even knowing. like that tweet 'im probably nonbinary but i have a job so idrc about that rn'. i posted on instagram "gender around cis people: boy, gender around trans people: girlboy, gender by myself: computer program" and that kind of sums it up i think. can i coin like.. complicatedgender. where your answer to the question "whats your gender?" is "it's complicated..." cause thats me. its just COMPLICATED okay!!!! but my pronouns havent changed or anything so its chilllllll

going to bed at a reasonable time. i phrased that like a joke answer but its true. i downloaded pokemon sleep and now i go to bed at 11:30pm cause at 11 i get a notification saying my pokemon are sleepy and shit i gotta take care of my pokemon!! i dont even know if its doing me any good to be honest like i dont feel much better when i wake up but making myself get into bed and shut my eyes means more thinking time and to be honest my favourite activity is thinking. even if as silly as it sounds i never give myself time to do it. its playing a weirdly big role in my life rn so yeah id say im obsessed with it!!!

this asmr video. im secretly always posting about asmr so really i could just say that, but like, ASMR | The Mortician (No Talking – You're Dead) specifically is such a mainstay i can feel its influence seeping into my life like an infection. this video would actually show up in my recommended for YEARS but i never watched it. gave me a major ick for some reason. but then i got into this guys stuff and saw it again and thought id give it a go and now its like an extra limb. fuck my 3rd bullet point, this is my gender identity. i could not articulate in words what it is about the mortician that i love so much, but i really really do. i am certifiably obsessed. cant believe i made it through this whole thing without mentioning alex. but there you are. yay this was fun :D

#tag game

32 notes · View notes

citylawns · 27 days

Note

World doesnt need the beauty standard saying how poor they are for being the standard as much as it doesnt need millionaires saying how bad they have it with packed wallets

I would switch places with you in a heartbeat if I could but instead Im stuck with the reflection i hate and half of my life taken away by disordered eating and shame but go off queen, tell us how bad you have it for being skinny

Hi there ! I’m sorry you’re feeling this agony about yourself - eating disorders are truly insidious and I’ve got many friends who have survived them and had experience myself.

But anyway, you have definitely misread or misunderstood something I’ve said ! I have never claimed, nor do I think, that it’s “hard” being skinny! Thats not to say it’s not without many issues and my reactions and frustrations about how people talk about my body are real, but I’m very much aware of the way different women’s bodies are treated online and in public. if you have a look through my blog you’ll see I’ve said time and time again how I am privileged for thinness and how my face and body have literally made me money as a model as well as speaking about the odd relationship to this with the bad experiences I’ve had (sexual assault from an employer).

I’m guessing you’ve been confused by this post? It was referring to the fact I don’t post photos of myself because of the way my appearance becomes the focus from my online audience instead of the things I spend more time talking about and posting like music and literature and art. I’m tired of talking about politics then being asked for weight loss tips. It’s crazy because idk why people think I would condone starvation given everything I have been through and write about on here??? I am frustrated when people praise me for my body because I make no effort with it and don’t think there should be such things as beauty standards, that make women compete with each other and form a hierarchy. This obviously doesn’t mean it’s “hard” being skinny, it’s just true that there are negative experiences when as a woman you’re trying to say something important or show your creative work and you’re just continually reduced to your body. It’s very misogynist. Because of this any femme presenting person finds their appearance becomes their focus from their audience online - no matter what we post.

My emotions about people (often female customers and girls with eating disorders) commenting horrible things about my weight are real and are allowed to be shared on my personal blog that is about me and my experiences. But just sharing my personal experience is very obviously not an insinuation that there is any structural disadvantage of being thin! It’s a structural disadvantage of being a woman - and within that there are always women who have lived experiences both better and worse than you. Again, im completely positive you’ve misread something because it would be very odd tell someone they aren’t allowed to talk about how patriarchy and ED culture affects them lol

You can see these posts if you scroll through my blog but I’ve recently explained I don’t give out appearance tips because 1. I don’t do anything/find it boring and redundant to talk about given it’s the only thing the world wants to talk about, but more importantly 2. Systematic privilege allows me to be low maintenance and it would be hypocritical of me to pretend otherwise !

I hope that’s cleared things up!! ❤️

7 notes · View notes

tommyssupercoolblog · 2 months

Note

IM SORRY THIS ISNT MEANT TO BE AGGRESSIVE i have not been on this part of the internet in a long time so things might have changed but.... last i heard the proship label encompassed things (in fiction) like inc/st, abusive relationships, p/do shit, etc... is that still correct? idk if thats what you were talking about in your tags because i do not know Anything about minecraft youtubers but usually when people put proship in their dni theyre denouncing that stuff. just wanted to clarify im understanding your complaints, no harm intended!

No problem!! it can be confusing lol, nothing wrong with being unsure. All-in-all, you're kinda close with that idea, but still not on target. explanations of proship vs anti, the d/mp fandom's take on it, and my thoughts on it all under the cut:

So proship as a philosophy is about wether or not things like that (in fiction) translate to real life, which is why it's connected to censorship like i mentioned in the post- if you believe that watching or reading something problematic will make more problematic things happen, that someone reading a book with a child/adult relationship makes them more likely to (or is on it's own already the same as) a person pursuing that in real life, that makes you an anti; and it also gives you a big reason to push for works like that being taken down or removed, and for people who make or read that stuff to be put in real prisons or face other real life consequences for fictional acts- because the idea is that, to an anti, these things bleed into each other.

being proship isn't equivalent to enjoying dark fiction like that, but it IS equivalent to believing that, similar to fictional violence, fictional crimes or acts of any kind can be created and consumed by artists and audiences without people actually condoning it IRL. a proshipper would say that if someone plays a video game where they murder someone, and then does it IRL, thats on the PERSON, not the media- and they hold the same position for fictional portrayals of incest, abusive relationships, and pedophilic relationships. the name comes from being pro- as in for- ships, and other content, as a whole; without it having to meet IRL moral criteria.

dark fiction freaks me out personally; the biggest ick (and actually a trigger for me) being incest; It bothers me and i stay away from it. but I don't think that people who read or make it are going to condone it IRL directly because of that media, and I believe that if they WERE to do something bad like abusing someone, it'd be an unrelated/seperate issue: an independent choice that only they are responsible for, not anything they made or watched or read.

That makes me fall under proship, even though I don't like any problematic (as in incest, abuse, adult/minor) ships. Personally, I literally follow people who like things that bother me in that way: i just block the tags so when they post something i really don't wanna see, tumblr tells me, hey, this post has this thing in it so we've spoilered it. If someone likes shipping their silly little blorbos and those silly little blorbos are kinda fucked up in a way that makes their brain go brrr, that's totally chill with me as long as they aren't hurting anyone- which, because i don't think fiction equates to reality, I believe they aren't when they're playing with their blorbos. (and since i'm pro-rpf, it's worth mentioning i feel the same about that. rpf is still FICTION, at the end of the day. you don't actually expect those people to do the things you write or draw. it's still removed from reality. that's personal preference though, many proshippers would disagree.)

So basically proship or Anti is a label that represents your philosophy on how human thoughts and behavior link to fiction. anti means you believe that consuming something fictional is equivalent to doing it in real life, or at least will make you do it IRL later, while proship means you believe that consuming something fictional is unrelated to doing it IRL, and you can enjoy something fictionally without actually enjoying it or condoning it when it's real people.

you will, of course, see more people who enjoy dark fiction under proship, and that's because they themselves consume it- so of course they're going to say it's not the same as doing it IRL. You will also, of course, see more people who don't like dark fiction at all under anti, because when you're disgusted by something like that then that reaction can be taken as "evidence" that it's morally bad. (personally, disgust-based morality doesn't hold up as a concept for me- it's a big reason why bigots believe the things they do, so using the same logic path makes me uncomfortable, but it is still common for people to use it as a way to measure wether something is okay or not.)

so, the part about silly block game.

there's lots of censoring in this part to avoid harassment, so bear with me.

In the early days of the d/mp, people decided that creating romantic content around the b-nchtr-o (Tmmy, tvbb0, and rnb00, who were all around 16 at the time) was inherently problematic. I'm not sure why, exactly, but the idea became that a fan crushing on one of them (at the exact same age!!!) or shipping them with each other, even as characters, was equivalent to being a real life child predator. again, even if the person doing it was ALSO a minor.

because it was seen as inherently problematic, behaviors like those were lumped in with other things problematic- shipping characters on the smp who had fought or killed each other, shipping characters who were related or were minor/adult, etc. there was no distinction; i was there!! it was all problematic, and all of it was seen as evidence that you were a real life predator of some kind regardless of age or disclaimers put under your content.

the label that developed for this group of "problematic content" enjoyers within the fandom became "poppytwt" or "ppytwt". (twt being there because it was mainly localized around twitter). as i explained above, because it could be because of dark fiction OR be//htr/o content, poppytwt content and ships doesn't even require it being dark fiction necessarily, nor does it require it being b//chtr/o; just one or the other, although usually the assumption is that it's both, since that combines the two reasons for being under that label. some people also call any proshippers in the fandom poppy even if they don't engage in anything problematic in-fandom, but that's generally the antis and not people themselves. if someone self describes as poppy, it's for the two main reasons above.

Additionally, the d/mp fandom has this concept of "maintagging". what this means is that if you make problematic content, you are NOT ALLOWED to tag it under the fandoms or characters it's about, because people don't want to see it in their results. ao3 has a tag filtering feature for this exact purpose, but people generally disregaurd that; you're still not supposed to tag it on the "main" tags, and doing so is seen almost like "asking for" harassment, like how some people talk about wearing crop tops alone at night.

Tntd/o managed to cross over, actually, from poppy to main/normalized in the fandom as the creators leaned into it with their characters. but for awhile even that was considered poppy.

different members of ppytwt have different opinions on RPF, but RPF was also considered poppy on it's own sometimes depending on who you were talking to and how militant they were on what got a pass and what didn't.

as be/chtr/o aged....it didn't stop?? all of them hit 18, but still, to this day, you can be cancelled for shipping them with each other or ANYONE else. it's why i'm so damn scared of the d/mp fandom, if i tagged a fic about my source with his character tag, with ANYTHING other than platonic relationships for him/me, I run the risk of being sent threats or doxxed- don't get me wrong, many antis keep to themselves, but there are also those who try to play vigilante- remember, if something fictional is equivalent to IRL, then attacking someone for enjoying a "bad" fictional thing becomes a charitable, heroic act; so sometimes antis might pursue proshippers with the goal of keeping people "safe". Many people in related fandoms or under the same creators also adopted the same ideals handed down from the d/mp fandom, so i'm wary of people who just watch my source too, or of people who like the q/mp.

people joke about the old fandom going crazy if they say tvbb0 and tmmy today, and that's because they would. they'd be furious at tmmy for doing this bit and putting himself in danger, they'd be cancelling anyone who ran with the bit in chat or had a photo of them hugging or kissing like in the music video as a profile picture, it'd be a whole mess. even today though it's still...scary.

((paused there to take a strawberry milk break, im back now))

the somewhat exception to this rule is Rnb00- people literally thirst for them and make nsfw comments openly, so while im not sure about the shipping aspect, i do know simping is widely okay- you couldn't even say you wanted to kiss them before, but now people are saying wayyy more than that...

inversely, i feel like my source has it the worst, because people won't even talk about him- or anything related to him- as an adult. it's always child this and child that, "who let him drink" and "get the alcohol away from the baby!", and of couse "don't ship him or his character with anyone that makes you a pedophile!!!" while the grown ass man they're talking about outright says he's alright with sfw fanfiction in a video where he reacts to someone's x-reader and then makes flirty nsfw jokes with every other adult man in the vicinity. every fanfic is platonic and almost all of them both irl and in game write him as sixteen. they take place in the past or, more commonly, they just straight up age him down. hell, sometimes they even age him down to like eight. even in fics where he IS an adult, he gets called a child or a teenager but never an adult.

poppytwt, like the stigma against writing for the creators or their characters, lives on. and even outside of benchtrio, again, ships between other characters that are problematic are poppytwt, so that also is still clinging on for dear life in some corners of the web. most poppytwt posts that are tagged as such usually include b//chtr/o, but not all of them; and it's worth noting many creators avoid tagging at all even if it's just the poppytwt tag, because they don't want to get swarmed.

because I ship myself with my husband of course, and also make fictional content with our sources as an extension of that (think dungeons and dragons but the character is just you...or, actually, SMPs are a great example of this since the appearance/name is generally the same, so think like an SMP!!!!!) I am poppytwt. I will always be poppytwt to most people who don't like poppytwt. and I have friends who are poppytwt and I like art made by people under poppytwt. I don't need to ship incest to be a part of that, i just need to not think the people who do aren't doing anything harmful when they ship that, and to write/draw....well, anything about septicinnit, which i do all the time.

if someone has poppytwt dni in their bio, i can't interact. if someone has proship dni in their bio, i can't interact. it doesn't matter if what they really mean is "people who like abusive ships because that triggers me", I still can't interact.

Because i think we SHOULD be tagging our content exactly so that we can filter it and find what we personally enjoy (and avoid what we dont), the concept of a DNI is technically something i'm kinda for- it is a way of monitoring and controlling your experience- but it also can be used as an excuse to harass people who forgot to read it, and i have no way of knowing if that's the case in advance.

ADITTIONALLY, because I know and care about people who consume dark fiction, I also don't want to be around people who think that makes them a bad person, regaurdless of wether or not they think i can stay. and "proship dni" is about proship, that fiction isn't reality philosophy- they are saying right out of the gate that they think it DOES make them a bad person. and I don't agree with that. it frustrates me and it makes me upset. those DNIs are based in a place of disgust and hatred for the people I care about, because of content that isn't real, and i'm never going to feel super okay with that...

there's people who don't understand what it means and use it anyway when it's really just about the content; but again, how am i supposed to know which is which?? ESPECIALLY on twitter, the anti philosophy is extremely popular and relevant and yes, trendy. people believe it, HARD, and so i can't assume they don't when they say they do. I've met real flesh and blood people in person who think that way, so if you are using these words, i'm assuming you know what they mean- that way I don't run the risk of making an actual anti upset and violating their boundaries.

you don't have to agree with me on this- if you're anti, then that's your worldview and i'm not going to change that. but that's what those words mean, the history of the block game side of things, and how they're correlated to censorship.

To Summarize:

Anti : Fiction Equals Reality so Fictional Crimes are Real Crimes (ergo we should censor them to stop the crimes)

Proship: Fiction does NOT Equal Reality so Fictional Crimes are Harmless (on their own)

Anti-Anti: Not sure if Fictional Crimes are Harmless, but Don't Like that Antis think Proshippers are The Exact Same Level as IRL Criminals

Poppytwt/ppytwt: Problematic silly block game stuff, OR things that have to do with these three specific block people being hot/dating someone. Sometimes both.

#i made a textpost #proship please interact #proship #explaining some stuffs about words #of course another part of this is wether or not it should even be about criminality versus just the abuse itself-#-abuse is bad because it's abusive not because it's illegal-#-but that's a discussion for another day.#i already spent an hour and a half typing and re-reading this for editing/censoring #discourse #discource #discourse tw #discource cw #discourse cw #discource tw

8 notes · View notes

writingtohealmytrauma · 24 days

Text

5/4/24

she left me 2 months ago and the pain is still so real and unbearable. 8 years of our life gone, she is now a stranger we dont talk, i want to talk so bad but she wants to move on and asked us not to message i want to talk to her everyday but i need to respect her decision's she still hasnt blocked me and i cant bring myself to block her number, not that it would do any good as i know her number off by heart, i managed to get the strength to archive our conversations so im not constantly seeing her name and our life everytime i message someone, i had been messaging her out of desperation and longing for connection with her and i can see by the read reciepts that she is seeing my message but choosing not to respond and it just hurts so much that this is clearly what she really wants and she is trying her hardest to get over me and us.

she tells me "We pushed it as far as we could" in reality she pushed it as far as she wanted. she tells me that she wants to have a family and she doesnt see a future with us after 8 years so she needs to leave me and find someone else to have a family with. she's 26 and wants to have kids before 30? so she cant waste any more time with us. i spent my life serving her, but it wasnt enough. i gave her everything. i literally made her breakfast and dinner every day for 3 years to prove my love to her, i flew her business class around the world i showed her a life she never dreamed off. i was there every day when she got home waiting to hear about her day, i ALWAYS made and had time for her always. she was my purpose i lived to serve her. all i ever wanted was to marry her, everyone use to have a go at me saying "why dont you marry her?" "hurry up and put a ring on her finger" like i was the problem? she was the one that would never commit. all i wanted was a family and life with her. I know her past trauma's have played a huge part in all of this, she come from a very broken family and has carried alot of trauma her whole life that she refused to deal with and that leaked into our relationship in so many ways. i truly believe if she had of dealt with her passed issues we would stil be here. she was not the only one to blame i also brought issues to the table but i have worked and turned myself out inside as a person to try and fix/overcome these and i feel i really did. she had an avoidance schema which was a real issue she would always run and shut off from us whenever things were hard, my mind is constantly telling me she was overwhelmed and her avoidance schema kicked in and thats why she ended it as there was no good reason to end it, weeks before she ended it she was telling me that she was finallly ready to get engaged after 8 years?? im so confused? I worry that she has realised this was an overreaction to a minor problem but her pride is stopping her from saying hey this is blown out of proportion can we try and fix this?? i would come running! i'd lay my life down to fix this, what ever it took whatever love she needed it is hers. I worry by the time she comes to this conclusion i will have moved on, not because i wanted to but because the pain is to great and i dont want to take my own life from grief. does one ever truly move on? will i still think about her in years too come? there is that weird sense of hope that we will get back together but i cant hold onto that. when we first started dating she saw a psychic (I dont believe in that stuff) but he told her that she was going to meet her partner and they would be together for life like penguins and that she would have twins with them. over the years i truly believed that and i made that a promise to myself that she was my penguin and that we would be together forever and have twins and i held onto that promise for so long, that promise got me through the hardest time in our relationship and now i feel its been broken it makes me sick to think that im not her penguin and some other man might be? she will have twins and a family with another man? makes me want to curl up and die.

It hurts so much that she wants to move on she couldnt do it anymore 8 years, meant nothing i know she wasnt in it for a long time i just kept pushing and pushing and exhuasting myself trying to fix it, i knew in the back of my mind that it was over a long time ago and that we wouldnt work in the future. she was my best friend though and the only family ive ever had all i wanted was to serve her and love her but there was always this twisted gut feeling in my stomach everytime i thought about our future, not from fear just uncertainty. we broke up once before for a short period of time and she bought someone back to our house within a couple days of us breaking up my mind reels at the thoughts of who she is with now who she is seeing.

**DREAM

I had a dream last night that we met up and i asked had she been with anyone else i asked her and i wanted her to say yes so i could hate her and move forwards in my dream she told me after a week of us separating that she had been sleeping with someone else she began to describe the sexual encounter to me with such joy saying it was hot and sweaty and that they didn't use protection and i remember feeling such a sense of a rage and sadness and sickness all at once in my dream, the though of her with another man made my sick. **DREAM

i woke up and i felt relieved as my mind was still telling me that was a real conversation and i hated her and could let her go and after properly waking up and realising it was a dream i cant shake the feeling the thoughts of that dream and what it meant to me. now i feel like i need to know if she is sleeping with other people so i can move on? WHY IS MY MIND ATTACKING ME LIKE THIS? i want to know that she is with other people so i can hate her so i can detach as i feel thats the only way i can move forward but at the same time i dont want to know either. i have no interest in other women right now, i dont think i ever will. i gave her every part of my heart and soul. ive only ever slept with 2 people in my life and have no interest in sleeping around being with other people, the thought makes me feel sick.

everytime i see anything slightly sexual it reminds me of her it makes me feel sick to my guts as to who she is with. i was her first and she was my second and to be intimate almost every day with the same person for 8 years is so special. i think its a mix of jealousy and fear fear because i know what other men are like and what they are capable and that she has not been exposed to how feral men can be and jealousy because what if she finds someone better than me? what if they pleasure her better or love her more. what if she is more attracted to them then me? she said to me that she still loves me and thats not that she doesnt want me she just doesnt think we have a future?? which is so insanely confusing cause how can you love and want someone but not be willing to commit to marriage and life together and risk going out into the world and hoping you find the connect you had with someone else.

she was my bestfriend, all i wanted was to be around her and in her presence and i think that makes this all so much harder for me. i feel like im one of those people that is always surrounded by people but feel so alone always. she took away the loneliness made me feel complete and normal maybe it was bad that i needed her to make me feel that way, maybe i should learn to feel that way before getting into another relationship. thats what everyone tells you to do. but does anyone actually truly do that? does anyone ever wait untill they are complete and feel whole before getting into another relationsip? i feel like if you were complete and happy being alone you would never get into a relationship at all so i feel like that kind of advice is a lie? what else would compel you to be in a relationship if you have learnt to be happy alone, i understand women having a biological clock and im led to beleive that some women have overwhelming maternal instincts and the need to have children but as a some what succesful male, if i learn to be happy aloen and enjoy my own company? why would i want to get into a relationship what would be the driving force behind that? so i think that type of thinking is a lie and fanciful.

i feel scared to go back home, i know i need to though. i left the state i live in to go stay with my cousins for a wgile to try and clear my head i dont know if it has helped our made things worse? im genuinely not sure.

im so scared of running into her, im so scared of running into her with another man. i dont know how to deal with these feelings of fear and jealousy. i just love her so much and my heart screams for her day in an day out.

even writing this now i feel sick at the thought the she is talking to somoene else and flirting with them and doing sexual things with them.

i think the hardest thing for me to grasp is her being sexually intimate with someone else. that seems to be the trigger for me to spiral and feel sick.

my psycologist told me that those are grief thoughts and to label them grief thoughts and that they will pass but they just make me sicker and sicker everytime i think of them.

im not eating, im not sleeping all i do is train. i feel so insecure and so scared i feel like ive aged so much in our relationship and that im ugly and un lovable so im just destroying my body to stay fit and become stronger than i am. i worry its becoming a mental ilnness almost a body dysphoria i hate myseld and everything about myself.

she was younger than me buy a couple of years and i know she is going to date someone younger than me and they will be fitter and stronger than me and it just hurts so much to think that.

i get angry cause i feel like she used me and robbed me of my life and my best years and that she never had any intention of seeing this through. she just used me as a vessel to get her setup in a career and financially.

#relationship #breakup #trauma #heartbreak #healing #self refle

4 notes · View notes