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artificialqueens · 5 years

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teachers pet (karon + branjie) -lem0n_b0y

an- hey y'all it’s ya boy. it’s finally done. my teacher au!! enjoy the dummy gays getting caught in the act.

“Maywood is Red Hot, We will not Stop, Stop! We are Hot, Hot!”

Katya could practically hear the phatom of cheers in her ears as she walks down the white hallways. The commons were full of those preppy cheerleaders, hyping up the student body for the big game tonight. It was the beginning of the softball season and for their school, it was a pretty big deal. The school wasn’t great at many sports, they weren’t known for their football records. One thing that the were known for is smashing through the county’s other highschool teams for softball. With the utterly amazing leadership through Coach Hytes, last year was a knock out. All though Katya would lend her help to her every practice.

The echos of the drum line follow behind her as well. The band was also beautifully led. They had been known to place high in competitions, even going to a state competition. Though the drums and trombones really put a ping of pain in Katyas temple from the volume, she had much respect for the kiddos that make it possible and along with their teacher.

Ms. Needles, she sure is a phenomenal teacher. She always puts the student first, always making sure the have everything they need to succeed in everyway possible. Katya smiles to herself at just the thought of it. The moment she met the cooky punk hearted woman, she knew that they would spend a lot of time together. Her energy screamed different but her appearance is much more calm. Sure she would we’re darker clothes and a dark lip but it wasn’t her true colors from what Katya could tell. Alas, building a strong friendship with her during workplace hours was the highlight of the job. They often spend their planning period together and lunches. Having the small amount of alone time with such a bright mind was all it took to make Katyas day worth while.

While Katya spends most of her free time with the infamous Ms. Needles, whenever she was absent she would find herself in the chorus room just next to the band room to chat with the dearest Mrs. Act. The enthusiastic Aussie was another beloved teacher. The primary reason for that student given title is all of the boys fawning over her and her pretty face. Her voice could be heard from classes away to which nobody complains, her sound was far from nails on a chalkboard. Katyas relationship with her was goofy yet smart, they both had the biggest wit anyone had ever see.

She continues down the halls, snaking her way to the band room to once again spend as much time as possible with her beloved friend. The band room was graciously placed farthest away from the commons so she had no worried of loud noises annoying them. As she steps foot into the room she can see Ms. Needles brighten up.

“Glad to see you made it through the crowd of teenagers. You’re just in time to help me grade.” She smiles as her hand holds out a packet of papers to Katya. She was towered in work, her desk was a mess. The end of the school year was just in the horizon and everyone had begun to buckle down. Most teachers were slammed with makeup work as kids attempt to bring up their grades last minute. Katya didn’t have to worry about that, as for PE was an easy class to pass. All of her kids were at least at a C. She takes the stack of papers and sits on the edge of the desk, the only clean spot. “You really need to put your foot down Shar, this work is from last nine weeks.”

Sharon let’s out a little sigh and rests her head on her free hand while the other marked off on worksheets. “I just want them to pass.” Her writing hand was covered in messily doodled notes. The black ink spelled out students names and the name of worksheets that were needing to be put in the gradebook. She screamed stressed from just the looks of her. Her shoulders appearing tense and shadows of bone under her eyes, Katya frowns slightly. Seeing her on partner in crime so rundown was sad. She knew that Sharon had dug herself into a hole of generosity. After enough kids ask to turn in late work, you end up having to say yes to everybody.

Katya looks through her given stack of papers as an escape from worryful gaze. Red X’s pile onto each paper haphazardly as they sit in silence. There was an obvious fog of tension in the room.

Placing the graded stack of papers down after about ten minutes of quick grading, Katya looks back down at the hunched over woman. Her scribble ridden hand marks question after question with the most exhausted look on her face that Katya couldn’t stand it. She can’t stand to see the typically upbeat woman with a strong backbone to hold herself up so grey.

Breaking the silence, Katya stands up from sitting on the corner of the desk to face Sharon. “Shar-bear you seriously aren’t looking too hot. I think you really need to take a break from all of… this-” She jestures her hand to the messy desk. Sharon looks up from the paper she was working on to look at Katya. “- like this is gonna be the death of you, I mean really. You need to tell your classes that you’re no longer accepting late work from 2 months ago.”

Exhales slowly through her nose and removing the hand from her face, Sharon decides to give in and actually listen. Sitting back in her chair she looks Katya up and down slightly. “Kat’s, I’m just trying to make sure the kids don’t hate me. You know how newer teachers go, if you mess up they start hating you and nobody wants to take the class. And when classes are filled they throw kids in who need another elective credit, you know these kids hate that.” Sharon had begun to nervously ramble. All she ever wanted was to be the best teacher she could and would try everything in her power to do so.

Katya knew this very well, but still didn’t quite get why Sharon would be so worried about some sort of self image she wanted teenagers to like. Teenagers hate everything about school unless the teacher passes them without putting in the effort. Katya would know this because she was the same way as a teen. Sharon’s wish to be liked by the student body wasn’t something Katya could wrap her head around. “You’re rambling. How about you just take a break, it is lunch time after all.”

Sharon nodded slightly in agreement, placing her pen down onto the paper. Katya was right, she should take a break. Through all her classes so far through the day, Sharon hadn’t even taught anything. She gave them all assignments to keep them busy just so she could grade. Her lips pout slightly as she tries to clear her mind of all the work that needed to be done.

Katya always thinks she’s cute when she pouts like that. Her pursed black lips were always something that made Katya smile. It was almost how a child would towards a parent was the best way Katya could compare it. Those slight mannerisms that Sharon does is what really hooked Katya onto her when they first met. The first little thing that she noticed was her favorite foods were. Sharon would tag her lunch in the teachers lounge fridge. Everyday it was a wrap of some sort with cheesecake flavored yogurt cup and as time went on, Katya would bring her yogurt during planning period for her to snack on.

Her smile lingers as Sharon’s pout fades away into her speaking again. Her rambling consists of life updates, cat updates and recent TV shows she had binged while working on the final exam. Sharon had recently begun to rewatch all of Golden Girls and beings to assign Katya the character that reminds her of Katya.

Since then, Katya has pulled up a chair next to Sharon’s while the banter continues. “You would not believe how many kids I’ve had to threaten with detention this week, I mean really, they act like since schools almost over that they don’t have to follow rules.” Sharon rambles, getting upset over the rowdy children. Faking a shocked face, Katya mocks Sharon’s harmless threats. She knew that she would never write a kid at detention slip. “Slow down there! Ms. Needles about send kids to detention? She has finally snapped!”

“Oh shut up! They’re never this bad is the thing.”

“Kids will be bad, I was a bad kid after all.” Katya smiles wide and chuckles at her own statement. “- not saying that it’s an excuse but the teenage angst is a powerful demon.”

Sharon leans her head back onto the back of her chair, staring up at the cracked popcorn ceiling. Smiling to herself, she let’s out an annoyed groan. “It sure is. But I should really finish grading these papers.” Katya frowns as the work beings to call her companion back it. She didn’t want Sharon’s now bright energy to dull all because some kids don’t know how to turn work in on time. It wasn’t be duty as a teacher to keep the deadlines flexible, it was her duty to get them into a habit of turning things in on time. Katya pouts and slides her rollie chair closer. “Can we hang out for what- 5 more minutes?”

Tapping a finger to her chin, Sharon smiles very catty. “Fine, 5 more minutes.”

Five minutes didn’t seem like enough time for Katya to get her fill of soaking in Sharon’s ramblings of her personal life. If she could, she’d skip class like all the slacker students do but lunch had since ended and class had just started. Katyas students were scheduled to go to the tennis courts for the whole period and Coach Hytes were to go to the gym for a somewhat free day. She had been worrying over the softball game just like all the others. No matter how well they were doing through the season she still had a massive weight of worry on her shoulders. Being said, the normally calm Coach Hytes was cracking so hard she doesn’t even have the energy to teach. It was a day for the kids to play whatever they want in the gym, which may have been a grave mistake.

She shoots a text to Katya to remind her that all the kids need to bring back all the tennis balls along with questions about tonight’s game and who’s all playing or not. Tapping her fingers against her phone screen she attempts to take a deep breath in hopes to calm herself. The main thing on her mind about the game entirely was the batter. Vanessa was what her coach once described her as a ‘gorgeous tornado of energy’. With how much liveliness is in her, it works in her favor. Always being ready for practice was always on her mind up until the new year. She started skipping practice, going to parties and slacking on school work. No matter how many times she gets in trouble for it she keeps doing it. That’s why Brooke was nervous, Vanessa’s focus has left sports and has moved to being reckless. Nobody knows if she will be the ball and chain of the game.

Brooke picks up her pen and roll paper, biting the end if the pen as she scans to see who’s all in the gym. Her eyes land on the Tasmanian devil herself. Vanessa sits on the gym floor is some black gym shorts and a white tank top. From what Brooke can make out is she’s on her phone as always. Looking her up and down, Brooke’s mind goes a little too fuzzy for her liking. From the first day she met Vanessa she instantly found her attractive as hell, but who wouldn’t? Only way that Coach Hytes could assure herself on her raging attraction to her student was that the were only a few years apart. From what her file said in the office is that she failed the sixth grade. Brookes stare continues until a ball is thrown at a students head, forcing their whole body backwards. The student got back up unharmed but the loud thud of rubber on flesh was enough to snap her out of her head and back to the roll.

The bickering and barking had already begun in the four square corner with the main instigator being a the blunt yet kind-hearted Yvie. Oh Yvie was an unknowing trouble maker for sure. Her sharp edged tounge but also blase attitude toward many of the girls really got under people’s skins at times. So the loud arguing bubbling up wasn’t new for the small group of friends. The one thing that caught worry focused coaches ear was the voice of the girl that Yvie had fired up. A very recognizable voice.

Vanessa’s mouth is filled with angry curses as Yvie stands there with her arms crossed in defense. The argument was going to end up burning out within time is how Yvie sees it. Vanessa’s dark curls bounce on her shoulders as her yelling starts. “Well I don’t fuckin’ need your opinion on how well I do in a sport you don’t even fuckin’ play bitch!” She yells out with her hand balling up into fists. As her anger be comes to the point of a pot about boil over, she starts walking towards Yvie. “Then don’t worry about my shit! You’re the one who has been worried about how I decide to dress myself. All I’m saying is you need to get your priorities straight!”

Brooke finally decides to pay attention to her players voice by looking up from her papers at the worst moment. All while frantically cursing, Vanessa sends a punch into Yvies stomach with all the force she has. The taller girl stumbles backwards hard and starts yelling louder as she starts stepping closer to the swinger to push her down roughly. As soon as Vanessa is on the ground, Brooke quickly makes her way across the gym to break the two up. “You two! Stop it right now!” She yells out as she approaches and stands between the two.

“She fucking punched me!” Yvie exclaims, backing away from Vanessa who finally stands herself back up on her feet, attempting to bolt back towards her just to be stopped by one of Brooke’s strong arms. “Talk shit get hit bitch!”

“Vanessa!” Brooke pulls her backwards away from Yvie with her arm around her torso. She squirms to break free from her grip in hopes to finish what she had started. “C'mon Ms. Brooke, she’s been runnin’ her mouth about me! Bitch said I can’t barely play softball, she can’t just tarnish my name like that! Let me go!” She hollars as she is slowly tugged away by her coach. It occurred to Brooke how much Vanesas reckless behavior had really begun to get on her nerves, Vanessa was a young adult who should know better than to pick fights with other kids. Vanessa continues to try an free herself from her trap as Yvie is no longer in sight. As soon as the two get to the hallway, Brooke finally let’s her go. She quickly turns to face the clearly pouty young woman. “What the hell was that Vanessa?”

“I dunno, a fight? Me defending my good name.” She huffs out, already rolling her eyes at Brooke’s disapproval. Vanessa didn’t quite get that what she did was rash. Her emotions often would get the best of her as shown by little scuffs on her hands from trying to catch herself from Yvies push. A fighter would be the best way to describe her but also her most faulty trait. Sure she wanted to fight for what she believes in but most of the time that fight wasn’t used for good. Brooke knew this very well as she had seen Vanessa storm towards the bleachers at a softball game just because he gave her a dirty look after hitting a home run. None the less, Brooke wasn’t happy with Vanessa.

Rubbing her face slightly before speaking, Brooke narrows her eyes at her. “Yes it was a fight. But why did you decide to pick a fight right before the game, hm?” Her voice was harsh, more than Vanessa had ever heard. Her eyes widen at the sharp voice and relaxes her shoulders. “Because she was telling everybody that I was gonna lose tonight, like who the fuck does she think she is? So talk shit, get hit. She shouldn’t have been talkin’ shit.” She starts puffing back up at just the thought of someone talking bad about the one thing shes pride herself in. Brooke runs a hand through her hair and pulls out her phone. “Vanessa you’re in trouble no matter what happened. I’m getting Ms. Z to come watch the class while we discuss your punishment.” Her fingers type quickly and loudly, her eyes still narrowed towards her screen. “-and until she’s here, sit in my office. Got it?”

Looking up from her phone she sees a still worked up Vanessa. Her cheeks were red from the blood rushing in her system and her hands placed on her hips. If Brooke wasn’t so angry at her right now she would dare say she looked hot right about now. All though Vanessa could say the same thing to her. Seeing the tall blonde so snappy with her did make a little smile appear on he face. Brooke raises a brow as Vanessa nods and walks past her slowly, heading towards her office. “See you soon Mami.” She bumps into her playfully as she makes her way down the hallway. Snapping her head around, Brook watches her enter her office and closing the door.

Her mind instantly fuzzes again, the faint linger of Vanessa teasingly calling her 'Mami’ sends a warm wave up her body to her face. With the mix of emotion going through her head, Brooke leans against a wall to regain herself. The door of the far end of the hall opens and in comes Ms. Z with her class of rowdy kids. Katya directs her kids to go to the gym and that she will be there in just a moment. “So what the matter Brooke?” She says, walking up to her slumped coworker.

Brooke rubs her eyes and sits up straight. “Vanessa attempted to fight Yvie again and I luckily stopped her before she got too mad.” She exhales slowly and smiles halfheartedly. “I can’t let her play tonight after this, she’s been in trouble all week.”

Katya nods, laughing slightly. “When isn’t she in trouble?”

She had a good point. Brooke knew it’d end up coming to this but had hoped it wouldn’t. Vanessa is a good player and her sitting out wouldn’t be the best for the team. Attempting to rationalize her head she agrees with her previous thought of her being a ball and chain. “I’m going to have a talk with her, but thank you again for watching the class. You’re a life saver.”

“I do what I can. But don’t let her talk you into keeping her for tonight, she does have that effect on you.” Katya winks, knowing how easily Vanessa can sweet talk her way out of trouble. Especially knowing how big Brooke’s lady boner is for her, she knew that the warning wouldn’t be taken. Turning towards the gym door, Katya goes to deal with the kids while Brooke tries her hardest to put her foot down once.

Katya sits down at a nearby table in the gym and pulls her phone out to text Sharon about the situation.

Brooke opens her office door to see Vanessa sat on her desk, her legs dangling off the edge. She sits on her phone, tapping away, assumably texting Akeria about what had happened in the gym. She pouts her lips as she lifts her head from looking down at her phone. Brooke closes the door behind her, stepping towards the small trophy case on the wall opposite to the desk. The trophies are from years that Brooke had not been there for. She inherited the office from a past coach, keeping the case inside as the had no where to put the containments. “Vanessa why are you on my desk.” She finally speaks up.

“It’s comfy I guess, like feelin’ in charge.” She puts her phone down and puts her hands on either side of her. Tapping her nail onto the polished wood, she strikes Brooke with a small smile. Her smile was to die for, it was always gorgeous to too at. She knew good and well that it would make Brooke melt in her place. It was correct, Brookes body feels the warm wave again at the small smile. She shakes her head to rid herself of the fuzzy thoughts.

“Vanessa you’re in trouble, stop acting so calm. Please get off my desk.”

Vanessa looks around the room still sat on the desk. “You don’t gotta call me Vanessa. Everyone else just calls me Vanjie, you should try it.” Her eyes trail towards Brooke’s. Those blue eyes were so pretty after all. Vanessa loved to look at them whenever she could. But those blue eyes weren’t too assumed with her flase attitude. “I’m not going to call you Vanjie. This is serious you know, you’ve gotten 3 classroom referrals this week alone.”

“Why not? You’re so calm bout me callin’ you Brooke, everyone else calls you Ms. Hytes. Vanjie ain’t that bad of a nickname.” She continues to ignore the trouble that she is in by annoying Brooke with small talk. The annoyance sure was growing, as Brooke steps closer to her desk. Vanessa pouts her lips and brushes her hair off her shoulder with one of her hands “Why can’t I just sit up here? I’m comfy and shit.”

Brooke narrows her eyes as Vanessas legs slightly spread. She can see what she’s doing is getting under her coaches skin just as she had hoped. Vanessa smiles knowingly, biting her tounge a little. “If you don’t get off my desk, I swear to god Vanessa.”

“Whatcha gonna do to me , Mami? Am I makin’ you mad?’ She spreads her legs a little more and smiles. Brooke’s eyes widen at the questions, sending a warm feeling from her chest to her pelvis. She begins walking towards the desk, standing right between Vanessa’s legs. Placing her hands carefully on her lower thighs. "Just shut the fuck before I make you.”

“Well make me then.” Vanessa wraps her legs behind Brooke’s, pulling her close. Brooke’s hands grab her legs with the pulling motion, staying stable. They lean close to each other, body heat being shared. The room was silent, someone could hear a pen drop. Brooke bites her lip at the small space they now shared to which Vanessa smirks. “Don’t just stand there, show me who’s boss. Haven’t I been bad Ms. Hytes”

Without a second thought trailing through her mind, Brooke quickly presses her lips messily against Vanessa’s, pulling her legs to where they were wrapped around her own waist. Vanessa responses back with a smile into the kiss, grinding closer to the older woman. It was everything that Brooke wanted and more. Her lips were just as soft as she had dreamt of. Vanessa ran her hands through Brooks short blonde hair, giving a rough pull to make her moan into the kiss. Vanessa’s hips press as close as possible into Brooke’s.

Brooke takes the liberty to pick her up off the desk and walk to the closest wall, slamming her into it. A picture frame falls from the wall and neither of them flinch. The fight for dominance im the kiss turn to biting and tugging of lips. The quiet room was filled with moaning between crashing of lips.

The door creaks open slowly, and Katyas face peaks in to see Brooke full of anger and lust with Vanessa against the wall. She widens her eyes and slowly closes the door to avoid breaking them up. She wasn’t in the mood to have THAT conversation. Closing the door behind her, she shakes her head and walks back to the gym.

“How was the day Kat’s? Anything shocking happen?” Sharon questions while sitting against a wall of the band room holding a mug with supposably only coffee in it. Katya could already see from the smile on her face that she was tipsy. The school day had ended so the quick after school drink wasn’t much of a worry to her. “I don’t think this counts as shocking but Brooke finally snapped I guess. Walked into her office to tell her that Yvie isn’t going to snitch on Vanessa to see them making out and dry humpin’.” Katya sits down right next to Sharon who was now wide eyed at the news. They had been betting on the two since Brooke started at this school. Everyone could tell they had the hots for each other.

Sharon sips her mug, listening to Katya ramble on about her day. With her light brown waves falling down slightly and hang down her already messy bun, Sharon could feel a ting of her cheeks warming up. She was filled with admiration for her for a quick moment. Sharon could only assume it was the brandy talking. “Anyways, how was your day?” Katya says, snapping Sharon to her attention.

She shrugs while finishing her cup. “Uneventful. Finished grading what I had and slowly cutting off late work. Only have a folder to finish.” Sharon smiles as she places her cup next to her. The buzz fully courses through her, making her lean her head against the wall more. “I just want to relax, feels like I’m a puppet with tight strings.”

“Why not hook up Alaska then? That always chills you out.”

Katya looks at Sharon who had instantly got more color on her face. She knew that the two would hook up all of last year but wasn’t sure why it had stopped. Katya cocks her head to the side and waits for a response that came slowly. “She has a boyfriend now. So I guess I’m out of luck.” She pouts her lips and looks back at Katya. Her buzzing mind had her hyperfixated onto Katyas eyes. The blue eyes looked brighter than normal, her cheeks looked sharper and her peachy lips appeared softer. She hadn’t realized she had started staring. “Well if you ever want some stress relief just let me know. I give some mean head.” Katya chuckles. Sharon nods, biting the edge of her lip, looking to her lap. Her heart was practically jumping out of her chest and her gut screaming to her to take up on the offer. It would be just what she needed to calm down.

“Would you actually? It’s been a rough week and that sounds really fucking good right about now.”

Katyas eyes bolt open to look at the black haired woman looking at her with those tired eyes she fawns over. She didn’t expect her to actually be down for the joking suggestion. Smiling nervously, Katya finally speaks up after clearing her throat. “I-uh- you mean right now? I can but are you- are you actually down?”

“I mean if you could? Or we could like plan a day to?”

Katya stands from where she sat and kneels between Sharon’s legs that laid out. She wasn’t joking to her about giving her good head and hell if she was interested, she was going to make it happen. “I’m serious. Are you certain?” She runs a hand down her skirt exposed leg and looks Sharon dead in her eyes. Sharon looks back as serious as tipsy glare could come across and bites her lip gently. “Just shut up and get to work.”

“Needy huh?” She jokes, lowering to kiss Sharons lower thigh, looking up at her with glazed over eyes. Those eyes got her everytime. Leaning her head back against the wall she watches as the beautiful brunette slowly kiss up her legs, changing between the two between kisses. She sighs softly as the gentle pecks become longer nips. Sharon’s body had quickly relaxed under the gentle kisses, smiling in bliss. She bites the corner of her lip as the trailing kisses make it to meer inches from underwear.

With Katyas head now underneath her black skirt, she takes a hold on Sharon’s thighs to pull her closer to her mouth. Sharon let’s out a shocked gasp and chuckles as her head slides down the wall. “Careful there tiger, I’m not going anywhere.” No response given, Sharon rolls her eyes. She trails in thought for a brief moment realizing that her favorite coworker is about to eat her out. She wasn’t sure if it was mostly risky or mostly hot. Either way, Sharon knew she was turned on by it.

Before the main course could even begin, the classroom door opens. Standing in the doorway was Katyas dear friend Courtney. It wasn’t the first time that Ms. Act had walked in on one of Sharon’s rendezvous’s so the sight she saw only half scared her. The Aussie leans against the door frame and makes direct eye contact with Sharon. “Oh- hey Court.”

Katya quickly moves from her position and turns to face Courtney. “I swear Shar, you fuck like a bunny. This is the fourth time this year.” She smiles cheekily. “Anyways if you two aren’t too busy.. can you come help me move so stuff around my room? Getting new furniture for the kids.”

Katya and Sharon look at each other and shrug, looking to Courtney. “Sure. Why not.”

“Perfect! See you two in five!” Courtney backs out of the room and scampers off for the two women to regain themselves.

#rpdr fanfiction #katya zamolodchikova #sharon needles #katya x sharon #branjie #teachers au #smut #lem0nb0y #lesbian au

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blackrosesfanfic · 3 years

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Chapter 242

Sevyn

I can't be changing already when I just found out I was pregnant yesterday. Well... I already figured it a week ago because my breast were sore and my back was hurting like my period had started but nothing came. So I knew. Whatever. I can't tell anyone my mood because everyone is so bitchy or sensitive. And maybe it's nothing.

"Girl, I had to go in the mirror and look at myself. It felt like my whole body was on fire. I looked down and all I could see was red."

"Bitch cause you brownish red ass light skin."

Alex ignores my statement. "I need someone to go through this with me. Can you be my friend?"

I stare at her. "That sounds weak."

"I know!" She yells stomping her feet. "I've felt like shit for weeks but I blamed every fucking thing in the world but being pregnant. Now that I know I'm pregnant it's like of fucking course. Now I suddenly have all this pregnant lady shit going on. Just fire everywhere."

"Maybe you should go fuck."

I look around at Chris then at Alex waiting for her to blow up about that. She spins around looking at her.

"I was told by your fucking butt buddy to be nice to you so he can play ball. But I'm not listening you little monkey faced fuck up."

"What does anything have to do with playing ball?" Chris scrunched up his face then he relaxes it. He chuckles. "If you had anything to do with Jamal being here then he would have been got kicked out. Come find me when this Haifa leave out of here."

Alex puts her hands on her hips looking at me. "Does being horny feel like you burning?"

I shrug. "Go ask a pregnant lady. I don't know. I haven't been pregnant as long as you."

"How are you gonna be my friend?"

"Don't any of your friends have kids?"

"No. I have two friends and they pushing it."

I roll my eyes. "Well you not gonna get nothing from this bitchy friend. Go fuck your baby daddy then come back and tell me if it helped."

She blows. "How do you do that?"

"Fuck?" I snap.

"Start sex without looking desperate?"

I make my eyes big. "Alex?"

"Yes."

"Girl, go kiss him on the cheek and walk away. You don't have to do shit."

She was being so fucking serious. I hate how fucking stuck up she is. Like bitch wanting sex makes you fucking desperate? Well then gotdamn everybody desperate. I stand up walking behind her out of the room. I wanted to see what she actually does. Jamal, Chris, and Marco were standing around a tablet or something.

"You serious about only playing soccer." Chris says in disbelief.

"It's what I know." Marco nods.

Alex walks up to Jamal and instantly gets everyone's attention. Like everyone. I fold my arms. She not that damn sexy. Why the hell they all interested? Marco was the first to look away. I mean it was only a few seconds but anyway. Chris looks back at the tablet then he looks at me. I fold my arms. Alex doesn't say nothing or kiss Jamal she just walks away from him to me. She giggles once she gets to me.

"I am not a fucking affectionate person."

"Bae." I say giggling.

She shrugs. "But I'm not."

"Bae." I say grabbing her shoulders and shaking her. "You got this though."

She starts today something. Jamal comes up.

"You okay?" He asks. "Need a coffee?"

"A coffee?" I chuckle.

Alex is funny. "What I need a damn coffee for?"

"The flight home tonight?" He suggests.

"Oh." She rolls her eyes. "No."

Jamal kisses her ear. "What then?"

Damn do me and Chris got a thing like this? They fucking hot without saying anything. I mean I know he isn't Chris. Definitely more chill and Denzel Washington type of arrogant. Subtle but apparent. Alex looks at him but doesn't say anything. She starts laughing.

"I can't." She says putting her hand in his face. "Jamal move your gay ass."

"You can't?" I snap. I walk away. "I can't with you."

"I'm going to find a new pregnant friend. You not helpful. Trying to have me out there looking like a desperate tramp."

"How when he your man?" I yell. "Don't follow me."

She laughs. "I have fucking problems. What is wrong with me?"

I push her back out the bedroom. "Go. Get out of here. Leave me to being shitty."

"I need inspiration." She continues badgering me.

"Alex! Fucking die."

She steps back into the hall. "Jamal come here. I want to try something and I have to use you for it."

"You like a fucking dominant ass bitch." I say slamming the door.

"Amber!"

I open the door for MiMi. "Second baby mama?"

"Get your baby then." She says handing me MiMi. "Don't give her to April."

"Why you put me in the fucking hot seat?" I say taking Minnie to the bed. "Hi, Angel. You are such a heartbreaker. Do you know that?"

She was sleeping really hard not caring what I was saying. She is a very sweet baby. She doesn't care who is holding her as long as she is being held. They are always holding her. She rarely touches the bed while sleep. Chris walks into the room. He kisses my back then he notices Minnie and takes her from me. He gets up walking out onto the balcony.

"Where is the baby?"

"Huh?" I look up at MiMi.

She puts her hands on her hip. "I told you not to give her to anyone."

"You said April. Chris has her. Outside."

"It's raining outside." MiMi snaps.

I look up. "You should have said no one no one. Like especially not Chris. You should have been more clear."

"I have her." April says.

MiMi spins around. "April. Whatever."

"What's the big deal?"

"She is my baby. That's the big deal. You just wait bitch. Wait till you only see your baby when it's feeding time." MiMi says storming out. "April?"

I chuckle. "My baby."

"I'm outside chilling with Sweetie Pie and April brings her ass out there talking about a bad diaper. I'm like okay then I get her back. April walks away laughing. She wasn't even stank."

"Won't they go get Caden?"

"Ha?" Chris says. "And do what? He cries. He doesn't sleep in anyone's arms for too long. Trey or Cammie maybe but they don't have him most times. He likes to sleep cold. Not cuddled."

I smile. "Well our baby..."

"Yeah." Chris cheeses.

"Hopefully our baby likes to be cuddled. I like cuddling."

"Not with me." Chris says getting on the bed.

I nod pushing him away. "You right. Not with you."

He chuckles. "I thought that Alex was directing her bullshit to only me. Jamal is a bitch. The shit she does to him is fucking degrading but he says he don't mind. She disrespectful. Look at this text I got."

"From Jamal?"

"Joyce." He says showing me something else.

I smack the phone. "Talking to Karrueche?"

He chuckles a bit. "I'm a dumbass right?"

"Yes, Christopher."

"We were talking about..."

I wanted to slap his brains out. "I don't care the conversation. I know the connection."

"Sorry." He says showing me his phone. "For real though. Look what Joyce sent."

I get up and walk out uninterested.

Trey

Cammie walks out of the bathroom. "I really wanna go home."

"Baby." I say looking up from my suitcase.

"What do you have to say?" She snaps.

I shake my head. "Nothing, Mama. What is the matter?"

"Don't talk to me like I'm a child."

"Jayla, Baby." I say confused as fuck.

I shouldn't have opened up this shit. I should have been stronger and not caused any of these problems. I walk over to her. She had laid on the bed next to Lane and Caden. They were still sleep and I'm fucking relieved about that. They aren't feeling good and it shows. We shouldn't have them around these other kids. But whatever. Nobody cares.

"Jayla?"

"What Tremaine?" She cries.

I sit next to her head. "Come here, Jay. I got you."

She lays her head on my lap crying. I don't know what's wrong with her. I don't want to ask after all that has been going on. I just rub her back in silence. I love this women. Her pain is my pain. I know my pain is hers. She is so sweet like that. She loves hard. I rub down to her ass. I think she had fall asleep. It was quiet for a while until Caden popped his head up. He looks at Lane who was close to him but not on him anymore. He lies his head back down. I close my eyes.

"Stop!" Lane yells.

I look at them. Caden was laying there and Lane was now turned to me. Suddenly Caden pushes his body up and grabs Lane's face. Lane back slaps him knocking him to the bed. Caden flips over on his back and starts kicking. What the hell? Like I never seen him do any kind of extra moving. Lane jumps up and slaps the shit out of Caden. They both start screaming. Maybe I should have done something.

"What the hell is wrong with y'all?" Cammie snaps out of her sleep. She looks at them.

"Taden did it." Lane snaps moving away from Caden who had started to kick him again.

Cammie snatches Lane away from Caden more then flips Caden over on his stomach. Caden screams as if she popped him. Lane crawls off the bed screaming as well. Of course by now they successfully alerted someone. It's Gwen. She peeks her head in the door.

"Everything okay?"

"No." Lane cries then starts babbling.

She instantly runs to his rescue. "I got you, Baby. Come on. It's okay. We are okay."

"What the hell?" Cammie says looking at me. "What the fuck just happened?"

"Maybe I should have stopped them. Caden slapped Lane. I don't even know actually."

Caden rolls back over looking at Cammie. He drops his head pouting like he was hurt. She moves away from me grabbing him. I don't know what is wrong with these boys. They are fucking bad.

"Shut the hell up. Your gotdamn daddy right there." Rollie says putting Lane down. "What is wrong with your kids?"

"I don't know." Cammie snaps cradling Caden.

Lane crawls into my lap. "This bullshit."

Cammie rolls her eyes. "Fuck it."

"Two year old knows what bullshit is." Rollie says shutting the door.

"You okay, Baby?" Cammie asks Lane. She touches his cheek. "Hmm? You okay, Daddy?"

Lane whines then dramatically says no. Cammie leans over kissing Lane all over his face. In all the kissing she forgets about Caden now being close to Lane but Caden simply grabs Lane's shirt. Lane freaks out trying to get Caden off him.

"No." Cammie snaps. "Stop it right now. You kiss your brother. You do not fight him. Caden."

"No fighting." Lane snaps.

Cammie puts Caden close to Lane. Lane was looking at him like try me bitch. Caden grabs Lane again hugging him close to him. He holds him but not kiss him. Gotdamn bad ass kids.

"What happened?" April asks walking in with Minnie.

"Maybe you would know if you spent time with your grandkids." Cammie says.

"Lane what's wrong with my baby?"

"Caden baby?" Lane pouts.

April smiles. "No. Lane is my baby. What's wrong?"

"Caden hit me my face." Lane says teary eyed.

"Did he?"

I nod. "He attacked him."

"Awh Mommy's baby. Want to come with me?"

"No." Lane says getting Caden off him and hugging me.

April smiles. "Your mama..."

Cammie giggles. "You, April."

"You and your husband spawning up spiteful love babies."

"Bye." Cammie says putting Caden to her breast.

"Caden!" April says. Caden turns his head smiling at April. "Wanna come with Mama? Huh, Caden?"

Caden smiles but as soon as April starts walking to him he turns back to Cammie's nipple like hold up grandma. She snickers then leaves out. I rock Lane who was falling back to sleep. I close my eyes too. Lane not trying to deal with nobody bullshit. He not feeling good and Caden fucking with him. I chuckle rubbing Cammie's thigh. Her fine ass. I open my eyes looking at her. She was humming to Caden trying to calm him down. He was moving his legs and rolling his hands on her chest. She cuts her eyes at me. I close my eyes.

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jeontaeh · 3 years

Text

〚FORTY ONE〛

Jungkook woke up the next morning, all wrapped up in Taehyung's arms, and then shot up from the bed and ran out of his dorm.

"Dude he's your boyfriend now, you can't keep running out of his dorm like this. He's probably upset now." Jimin said, and Jungkook groaned, covering his face with his hands. The two boys walked towards the cafeteria the next Saturday morning to get breakfast.

"I know! I know. But I saw him sleeping and... I don't know. I got scared. What if he comes up to me and says he had fun fucking me- but that's all! Or maybe he was pranking me. Oh my god, Jimin- what if this whole thing was a prank? I'm transferring schools-"

"He literally told everyone he's in love with you. Why are you still scared? You're being irrational now." Jimin said.

"Y'all ever have a normal fucking relationship just to flex on Jungkook?" Eka said, walking along them suddenly. She'd popped out of nowhere.

"Says you, Eka," Jungkook said, and Eka poked her tongue at him. "Last night was magical. We had so much fun and couldn't stop kissing each other." Jungkook murmured, and then sighed out. "But I just... I got deja vu of our past, and... ran out."

"Girl I don't know French," Eka said, and Jimin started laughing, and then looked at Jungkook.

"You need to relax. If Taehyung hurts you again, we will burn his limbs. For now, take it easy. Also, they're giving french toast in breakfast today, so we better hurry."

Jungkook hummed, and then entered the cafeteria. People were giving him looks. Well, obviously. Everyone was talking about the night before. It was on people's Instagram stories and shit. Jungkook ignored all the looks and gawks and walked past the tables, and then found a table, and the three sat down.

They waited for the long line in the food table to simmer down for them to go. Jimin and Eka started bickering about whether blueberries are actually blue or not. Jungkook started laughing loudly, but then suddenly realized how loud his laugh was. Or, wait, his laugh wasn't loud. Everyone else was just silent.

Jungkook looked up and wondered why people in the cafeteria got so quiet and then spotted the doorway. Taehyung walked in, a red headband on his hair, black t-shirt, and grey sweatpants clung to his body. Taehyung had his hands in his pockets, looking a little pissed off.

"There's your lover boy," Jimin said, and Jungkook's hands coiled into fists. Taehyung looked around, ignoring all the stares he received, and then finally laid his eyes on Jungkook and began walking towards him.

Jungkook got up from his seat, walking up to Taehyung before he could reach the table, didn't want Eka and Jimin to hear everything. "Tae-"

"Why'd you leave?" Taehyung asked, eyebrows furrowed. "Don't give me some excuse of you not having clothes or something. You always get up and leave before I wake up," Taehyung said, voice low.

Jungkook stilled, and then gulped. "I- um- I-I don't know. I'm sorry. I got scared, to be honest. I j-just- I g-got anxious and- and just ran out. I'm sorry." Jungkook said softly.

Taehyung hummed, looking at Jungkook. Jungkook looked up at Taehyung. He then realized the people around them were staring at the two. Taehyung turned to look at the people staring. "Do you guys have nothing better to do? Mind your own fucking business," Taehyung snapped loudly, and everyone instantly looked away.

Jungkook blushed lightly at how easily everyone listened to Taehyung, and then Taehyung turned him around and both of them walked to the table with Jimin and Eka. Jungkook sat down, and then put his hand on Taehyung's.

"Don't be mad at me." Jungkook trailed gently.

Taehyung leaned down to look at him. "I don't want you to be scared," Taehyung whispered, eyes softened. "It makes me scared. I want to be good enough for you, Kookie-"

"You- you are," Jungkook said, holding onto Taehyung's shirt.

"Okay. Good. I'll go get your food. What do you want?" Taehyung asked, standing up properly.

"French toast. With- um- chocolate sauce. And strawberries. And bananas." Jungkook said, and Taehyung snickered fondly.

"Okay," Taehyung said, and then turned around and walked away. Jimin and Eka looked at Jungkook. "Damn. Everyone thought V had become a pussy after last night's event. Look at him, asserting his dominance again. He might as well be T-posing."

"Jeon." A loud voice came, and Jungkook looked up and saw Yoongi, Jin, Hoseok, and Namjoon walked towards their table. Jin slipped in beside Jimin, smiling at him and Eka. "What the fuck happened last night?"

Damn, that was straightforward. Jungkook inched away from the boys, moving to the side of the table. "There- um-" Jungkook began, and then played with his fingers. "Nothing, I-"

Jungkook looked down, getting scared. He didn't like all this attention. One, because he was always a little introverted and feared to be the center of a group. Two, because he was scared of how Taehyung would react to all this.

"Look- we're fine with you being gay, but-" Yoongi began, and Jimin frowned. "Fuck off Yoongi."

"Shut up, Park. I wasn't talking to you." Yoongi snarked, and Jimin frowned and shut up. Eka patted his back. Yoongi looked at Jungkook, frowning. "You do know how much fun all the other schools are going to make of ours, right? Finding out the infamous 'V' is gay?"

"H-how is that my fault?" Jungkook squeaked.

"I mean, you turned him half-gay, didn't you?" Hoseok asked like it was the most obvious shit to occur. Jin covered his face with his hands in annoyance.

"I d-didn't turn-"

"Being gay isn't a choice." Namjoon stated affirmatively. "But V saying he's into guys? That sounds weird. Is he experimenting?"

"Maybe Jungkook performed voodoo."

"It's fucking weird, no offense. It's like half our football team is gay! I don't want to change in the locker rooms anymore!" Yoongi snapped.

Jungkook suddenly got up from his seat. Jimin and Eka looked at him with concern. "I-I need to-g-go-" Jungkook said in a small voice, and then rushed out of the cafeteria doors, looking frightened. Yoongi, Hoseok, and Namjoon sat down on the seats.

"Where did Jungkook go?" A voice came, and the boys (and Eka) looked to the side and saw Taehyung by the table, holding a plateful of french toast, whipped cream, chocolate sauce, and chopped strawberries and bananas.

"V, what was all that last night?" Yoongi asked. Taehyung placed the plate down, and then rose his eyebrow in confusion.

"It's called Prom. It is a semi-formal dance or gathering of high school students. This event is typically held near the end of the senior year, and began in the United States of America-"

"Shut up," Hoseok said. "We mean with Jungkook. What was all that? You're into dudes??"

"I don't know, Hoseok. Are you into dudes?" Taehyung asked, leaning in. Hoseok gulped. "N-No..."

"How do you know?" Taehyung asked. Hoseok looked scared by how grim Taehyung looked. "I just do-"

"Do you? Do you Hoseok? Huh? You're gay, Jung Hoseok. This is the truth that everyone's been hiding from you. This is what the government doesn't want you to know-" Taehyung began, and Namjoon groaned and shut him up.

Hoseok looked petrified. Jimin, Eka, and Jin were busy giggling. "Be serious, V. How long have you been... bisexual?" Yoongi asked.

"Since last night." Taehyung said, and Yoongi scoffed. "So, what? You're in love with Jungkook suddenly? You guys used to hate each other!"

"That's how it be."

"V, please just give us a straight answer-"

"How can I when I'm so gay," Taehyung said, and Jimin began wheezing. Eka and Jin laughed loudly, and Taehyung just grinned. The three boys looked really pissed off.

"Shut the fuck up, V. Can you be serious for a minute? This is really confusing to us, bro. You're straight one second, you're gay another- and in love with Jungkook?? I mean, what the fuck?"

"That's just young love for you." Taehyung sighed dramatically, and Jimin practically toppled over giggling.

Namjoon hit his head against the table. Hoseok still looked scared. He asked Jin "Wait... A-am I gay?" And Jin smacked his palm against Hoseok's head. Yoongi looked pissed off, almost a little scary.

"You know, if you're not going to give us a serious answer then we're going to assume this whole shit was a joke. Was it? Was it some sort of elaborate prank or something?" Yoongi muttered.

"Oh fuck, you got it! I told Jungkook I was fucking in love with him in front of 200 people to prank you, Yoongi. You caught me!" Taehyung said, raising his hands in defense.

"This is going to make us look so bad in the championships, god damn it," Yoongi grumbled.

"Yoongi, I could suck 37 dicks at once and I'd still win every single fucking championship there is," Taehyung said, suddenly aggressive. Yoongi looked at him. "So why don't you shut the fuck up and deal with your own fucking problems, huh?"

Yoongi shut up real fast. Taehyung then turned to the cafeteria door and spotted Jungkook by the doorway, nervous. Taehyung walked up to him, leaving his friends be. Jungkook began walking towards him hesitantly.

Taehyung reached closer to him. "Tae-" Jungkook began, but Taehyung circled his arms around Jungkook and pressed their lips together.

Jungkook melted into the kiss, gripping Taehyung's shirt. Taehyung pulled away quickly. "Baby," Taehyung said.

Jungkook blinked his big doe eyes. "T-Taehyungie I'm scared."

"Don't worry, baby. I'll fight them off." Taehyung whispered, and Jungkook giggled brightly. They both heard a cough.

"Can you guys not be all touchy while people are eating?" A boy said, one of those annoying boys that thinks he's better than everyone. "Keep the gay shit for behind the doors, please. It's kind of disgusting-"

Taehyung left Jungkook and walked up to him. The boy shut up really quick. Taehyung knew the boy was talking like this to V because he thought Taehyung was 'queer' now, and hence won't hesitate to beat the shit out of him. But no, instead, Taehyung leaned down to face him.

"Eat this," Taehyung said, and then picked up his plate of french toast and spat on it. Jungkook's eyes widened, and Taehyung kept the plate back on his table. The boy gasped, his friends looking mortified.

Taehyung turned around and then grabbed Jungkook's hand, walking down with him back to the table with their friends. When they reached, it was silent. Taehyung ignored them and sat down on the seat, and pulled Jungkook down on his lap.

Taehyung grabbed the plate of french toast he'd got for the two of them. Jungkook looked at him with big eyes. Taehyung slung his arm around his waist and then smiled at him. "Here," Taehyung said, taking a strawberry and holding it close to his mouth.

Jungkook blinked his doe eyes and then nibbled on the tip of the strawberry, cheeks matching the shade of the fruit. Taehyung smiled fondly at the boy. Taehyung reached forward and pressed a feathery kiss to his forehead.

"It's like a fucking fashion trend, huh? One second you're straight, and the next you decide to try being a fag-"

"Shut the fuck up, Yoongi," Taehyung shouted, and all the people on the table (and some nearby) got startled, including Jungkook. Taehyung's eyes darkened, fists clenching tightly on the table.

"Me being bisexual won't change who I am, you understand that? And you want to know so fucking badly, then fine. I'm in love with Jungkook, and I don't give a single shit what any of you think about that. I love him, and I have for months now. We've been together for ages, but just- got together properly now. So for the last time- shut the fuck up, and let me be happy." Taehyung growled, voice low.

Taehyung then turned to look at Jungkook, whose eyes were wide, looked a bit scared. Taehyung's dark expression softened upon seeing Jungkook. Taehyung kissed his nose. "More strawberries?"

Jungkook put his arms around Taehyung's neck, hugging him tightly. Taehyung squeezed his waist back, kissing his neck. "I love you," Jungkook whispered, and Taehyung smiled at him.

"Fine." Yoongi mumbled, looking away, embarrassed. "Sorry. I was just... confused."

"Wait. All those times you told us you had amazing anal sex with a girl-" Namjoon began.

"It was Jungkook." Taehyung nodded. Jungkook blushed and hid his face in Taehyung's hair. Eka choked on her water which she was sipping on.

"How many times have you guys done it in the locker room?" Namjoon asked, grimacing.

"Way too many times. Against all of your locker too. Out of spite." Taehyung said, and Jungkook giggled into Taehyung's hair.

"How do... dudes even have sex?" Hoseok asked, voice small.

"You put your left foot in, you take your left foot out, put your right foot in and shake it all about. Do the hokey pokey, and turn yourself around. That's what it's all ab-"

"You're such a dork," Jungkook said, and Taehyung started giggling, nudging his nose with Jungkook's.

"Yeah, your dork." Taehyung murmured, and Jungkook smiled and kissed his nose. Jungkook looked into Taehyung's deep brown eyes and then felt his insides bloom. He's so lucky.

They both began eating the french toast, Taehyung feeding Jungkook, and Jungkook feeding Taehyung. The others were in conversation with each other, while Jungkook and Taehyung were lost in their own little world, feeding each other banana slices dipped in chocolate and giggling when some of the sauce got on their face.

"Doesn't it hurt to take it up the butt?" Jin asked. Jungkook looked at him with a snicker. Taehyung did as well.

"Kind of." Eka and Jungkook said at the same time. Everyone started laughing.

After breakfast, Taehyung and Jungkook walked out of the cafeteria hand in hand, ignoring all the looks and whispers, because all that mattered was each other. And that was more than enough.

///

Jungkook and Taehyung were getting ready for school on a Wednesday morning. They'd been spending days and nights in Taehyung's dorm. Jimin didn't mind. Said it was their 'honeymoon phase' and they were allowed to spend it together.

People were ignorant, rude, judgement, and mean at first. But they kind of got used to it. Mainly because Taehyung scared the shit out of them.

Jungkook stopped holding back too. One time, he and Taehyung were walking down the hallway. Some guy called them fags. Jungkook turned around and slapped his books off and then took his calculator and ran away.

"Isn't it weird that Sehun hasn't talked to you yet?" Taehyung asked while fixing his hair in the mirror.

Jungkook shrugged. "I don't know. But Eka says she heard him and Jackson fucking in the janitor's closet. Good for them. Sehun finally found his top." Jungkook said, and Taehyung snickered. Jungkook was finding his perfume.

"Ha! Yeah. Poor guy. I mean, the image of you topping, that's pretty funny." Taehyung said, and Jungkook paused for a second.

Jungkook turned around and then looked at Taehyung in the mirror. Jungkook reached forward, and then wrapped his arms around Taehyung;s waist, putting his chin on Taehyung's shoulder.

"Taehyungie?" Jungkook asked softly. Taehyung looked at him in the mirror.

"Yes, baby?"

Jungkook looked at him. "I wanna top you."

Taehyung pulled Jungkook's arms off him and walked out of the bathroom. Jungkook pouted, seeing Taehyung open his closet to pick out a bandana. Jungkook whined, walking up to him.

"It's not a joke. I wanna try it. I've never done it before." Jungkook said, huffing and stomping his foot. Taehyung looked at him.

"I don't wanna try it."

Jungkook clasped his hands together. "Please!! Please please just once!! I love you, Taehyungie. You're always so loving to me, don't you deserve that too?"

"No." Taehyung scoffed. "I'm a terrible person. I don't deserve love. In fact, you should un-love me. I'll do the loving."

Jungkook blinked his big eyes at him. "Just one time," Jungkook said softly. Taehyung walked up to him and grabbed his waist. He leaned in. "No," Taehyung whispered, and Jungkook's shoulders dropped.

"Why not?" Jungkook asked, trying to look angry and scary, but in reality he looked like a cute little bunny.

"Because I don't want to, Jungkookie." Taehyung said, forcefully this time.

"Fine. I-I don't wanna force you." Jungkook said, and then bit his lip. Taehyung hummed, kissing his cheek. Then they picked their things up and left for classes.

///

Jungkook taehyung is pissing me off

Eka omg break up

Jungkook what no

Jungkook he is being V again 😡😡

Jimin

girl what that mean

Eka it means tae is being ~~~weird~~~

Jungkook he's being weird about this sex thing

Jimin he wont let u suck his toes

Jungkook no ew jimin i dont have a foot fetish

Eka wait till u see my feet <3

Jimin perhaps i three up

Jungkook ok but did yall see the new haircut on hoseok

Jungkook he looks like some rapper in a kpop group or something lmao

Eka yess he looks so hot 😍 plus he was totally flirting with me in biology yesterday i was feeling it

Eka hes so mmmmmmm i might slide into that

Jimin hoseok is terrible and horrible eka don't be with him

Eka you say that about every guy i talk abt lmao

Jimin its only because u deserve someone perfect who'll treat you like the amazing person you are

Eka oh

Jungkook awwwww

Jungkook anyways byee taes here

///

Taehyung walked into the dorm room, face red. Jungkook was sitting on his bed, in nothing but a pink sweater, hair falling on his eyes prettily, lips in a small pout as he texted away, his hands in sweater paws. Jungkook looked up at Taehyung and blinked his long lashes.

"Hey, Taehyungie. How was practice?" Jungkook asked, smiling softly.

Taehyung dropped his football bag on the floor, eyeing Jungkook with darkened eyes. Jungkook put his phone down, and then bunched his sweater sleeves onto his hands. "What's wrong?" Jungkook asked, tilting his head.

Today was Friday. The two were planning to have sex and then watch a fun movie. Jungkook had gotten impatient because Taehyung was late from practice, and opened himself up while showering, fingering himself with three fingers and almost cumming while doing so, but holding it in. Now, Taehyung was here, and he looked hungry for Jungkook.

"Can you call me daddy?" Taehyung asked suddenly, and Jungkook stilled.

Jungkook looked at him with confusion. "Um- w-what? You want me to... but you've never-" Jungkook began, and then saw Taehyung wasn't looking at him, but down at the floor, hair falling on his eyes and casting a shadow on them.

"Can you..." Taehyung trailed and then gulped, fists clenched. "Can you c-call me daddy while fucking me?"

Jungkook stilled. His eyes grew big. He brought his sweater paws up to his face, and then pressed them against his lips to not squeal. "You-" Jungkook began, and then scrambled off the bed, looking at Taehyung. "You want me to f-fuck you?"

Taehyung was looking away. "I-I thought about what you said," Taehyung trailed, and then slowly looked at Jungkook, whose eyes were big and glazed. "About- um- how you've never... y'know, done the fucking. And then I started thinking about how you were a virgin and how-how bad your first time was-"

Jungkook walked closer, and then gripped Taehyung's shirt, lips apart. "So I thought that- that maybe we should... y'know..."

"I don't wanna do it if that's the reason why. It seems like you only want it because you're upset about the virgin thingy." Jungkook said, blinking his moon-like eyes up at Taehyung. Taehyung cursed, looking away. "Is it?"

"Jungkook-"

"Is it, daddy?" Jungkook whispered, and Taehyung gripped his waist tighter. Taehyung closed his eyes.

"P-partially," Taehyung said. "What's the other reason?" Jungkook asked, words soft.

Taehyung looked irked, squeezing Jungkook's waist. Jungkook lifted his chin and turned his head to look at Taehyung. Taehyung let out a small breath he didn't know he was holding. "I want- I want you to fuck me," Taehyung mumbled off-handedly, chewing the inside of his cheek.

Jungkook smiled big. He then squealed, hugging Taehyung's tightly. "Yes!! Yessss- gonna make this sooo good, Taehyungie!" Jungkook gasped, and Taehyung rolled his eyes but looked fond and slightly excited nonetheless.

"Strip, bitch!" Jungkook giggled. Taehyung frowned. Jungkook realized what he said, and then cupped his own cheeks, looking cute. "Strip, daddy."

"Hm. Better." Taehyung said, taking his shirt off and chucking it to the floor. "I cleaned up in the shower by the way," Taehyung mumbled, taking his shorts off. Jungkook cooed.

"Aw. Preparing yourself for me. I fingered myself in the shower." Jungkook said, and Taehyung's shoulders dropped.

"Oh. Well- I can fuck you if you want-"

"No! I want this how it is. I get fucked all the time. You can do it tomorrow morning or something." Jungkook said, jumping on the balls of his feet. Taehyung slid his boxers down and then snickered.

"You're a little too excited," Taehyung said, and then walked up to Jungkook, grabbing him by the waist. "Don't like it too much, yeah? Don't want you to pull a reverse Sehun."

"You don't like it too much, mister." Jungkook poked his chest. Taehyung scoffed. "As if. I love seeing how you look with my cock in your ass, baby. You know this."

"I dooo~" Jungkook sang, and then Taehyung climbed the bed, laying down against the head of the bed. "But I wanna see how you look with my-"

"Okay, okay. I get it." Taehyung said. Jungkook humphed, seeing the annoyed look on Taehyung's face. "Look, if you're going to be upset about it-"

"I'm not! I swear. I'm just... I'm scared. My masculine pride..." Taehyung sniffled dramatically. Jungkook laughed and then climbed onto the bed, straddling his legs and seating himself on his lap.

"Masculinity and femininity have nothing to do with topping and bottoming, silly." Jungkook said, and then giggled. "It's just sexual preferences," Jungkook said, and then leaned down and kissed Taehyung's lips. Jungkook smiled.

"Let's get started," Jungkook whispered, and Taehyung smiled fondly at his cuteness.

Taehyung gripped his waist and kissed his lips, both moving quickly. Jungkook wasn't wearing underwear, so Taehyung reached down and tugged at Jungkook's member. Jungkook squeaked into Taehyung's mouth and then pulled his mouth away.

"How do you want it, daddy?" Jungkook asked, dancing his nimble fingers on Taehyung's chest. "On your front? On all fours? Over the bed? Riding me? Or-"

"N-no-" Taehyung said, getting freaked out. "On my back. Like this is fine. Wanna see you." Taehyung said, and Jungkook nodded. Jungkook reached down and put his lips around Taehyung's cock.

Jungkook began sucking him off feverously, licking his tongue up his cock which was only semi-hard. Taehyung grunted, holding Jungkook's head down while he did so. Jungkook moved his mouth up and down his cock and then slowly dragged his lips up, resting them against the tip of Taehyung's dick.

Taehyung was fully hard now. Jungkook crawled over him and kissed a feathery kiss to his cheeks and forehead. Then, Jungkook reached over to the table and grabbed a bottle of lube.

"M'gonna finger you now," Jungkook said.

"What did I say?" Taehyung said, spanking Jungkook firmly, making the small boy jolt. Jungkook bit his lip. "S-sorry. Gonna finger you n-now, daddy."

"Hm." Taehyung grinned, and Jungkook gripped Taehyung's thighs and pulled them apart, giggling at how Taehyung flushed red and pressed his legs back together.

"Tae~," Jungkook said softly, and then kissed Taehyung's hip. "Don't worry. It's only me. You love me, don't you?"

Taehyung nodded, looking up at the ceiling. Jungkook sighed. "Look, if you let me fuck you, I'll let you spank me."

Taehyung spread his legs instantly. Jungkook started giggling. He opened the lube cap and drizzled it over his fingers. "Three fingers, right?" Jungkook asked.

"With your small ass hands, I'd probably need four."

"How about my fist instead?" Jungkook snapped, and Taehyung laughed. Jungkook giggled as well, and then closed the lube bottle and tossed it to the side. Jungkook reached between Taehyung's legs and then pressed his thumb against Taehyung's entrance.

"Fuck-" Taehyung let out. Jungkook pulled his thumb back. Taehyung blinked. "Well! That was fun. We're done now-"

"Taehyung I put my thumb against you! Shut up!" Jungkook said, and Taehyung looked at Jungkook who was between his legs. Jungkook pressed his fingertip into Taehyung's hole and Taehyung huffed.

"Don't worry, Daddy." Jungkook murmured, bringing his other sweaterpaw along to grip Taehyung's bicep. "It won't hurt," Jungkook said, and then pressed his fingertip in.

Taehyung bit his lip and closed his eyes, feeling the drag inside of him. "Nngh- that's weird. Okay. Put another one in." Taehyung said, and Jungkook nodded, pressing his second finger into him. "Yeah. Just like that. Good baby."

Jungkook turned pink at his words, and then saw how Taehyung's eyes glazed over, two fingers deep inside of him now. Jungkook curled his fingers experimentally, and saw Taehyung twitch, hands fisting around the sheets. Jungkook fucked those two fingers in and out of the boy, biting his lip.

"You look really pretty like this, Taehyungie," Jungkook said in honesty, and Taehyung looked up at him, silver hair sprawled out on the bed. "Look really pretty like- ah-" Jungkook cried out.

Taehyung had grabbed him by the thighs and pulled him closer in, making the boy topple over so he was lying on top of Taehyung. Jungkook put his knees on either side of the boy while looking down at him, continuing to thrust his fingers in.

"Hurry up." Taehyung said, and Jungkook frowned, but then pressed his third lubed finger in. Taehyung let out a sound, arching his back. "Oh- god- that's a stretch. Fuck- how did you take four of my fingers that one time?"

"I'm the experienced one now." Jungkook giggled, and then fucked three fingers into Taehyung rather quickly. Jungkook reached his fingers up, grunting out. "Why can't I find your prostate?"

"Because you're a newbie. Or maybe I don't have a prostate. See, I was meant to be a top-" Taehyung began, and then let out a sudden whimper with closed eyes when he felt Jungkook's fingers brush against the bundle of nerves.

Jungkook stuck his tongue out at Taehyung. "Haha. Found it." Jungkook said, and then kissed Taehyung's lips. "You're all open. Gonna fuck you now." Jungkook said, dragging his fingers out of the boy.

Taehyung breathed heavily as Jungkook reached to the side to get a condom. Taehyung squeezed Jungkook's butt while Jungkook leaned over, giving it a harsh spank. Taehyung smiled at how Jungkook's cock twitched at that. Jungkook leaned back over and then hit Taehyung on the chest lightly with his fist. "Stop."

"No," Taehyung said, playing with Jungkook's squishy butt.

"Brat," Jungkook said, and Taehyung spanked him again. Jungkook bucked his hips up at that, and then let out a mewl. "D-daddy."

"Hm. Now fuck me, come on." Taehyung said, and Jungkook nodded, placing the condom over his cock. Jungkook tried pulling it down, but the elastic material snapped and fell to the side. Jungkook bit his lip.

"T-Taehyung I can't put it on!" Jungkook whined, and Taehyung sat up, sighing. Taehyung patted his cheek and then took the condom from his hands, slipping it over Jungkook's cock with ease. Jungkook looked up at Taehyung and then fluttered his pretty lashes.

"Thank you," Jungkook said, kissing his lips. Taehyung squeezed his hips, and then grabbed the bottle of lube and opened it, squirting the liquid all over Jungkook's cock. Jungkook squeaked out a whimper when Taehyung spread it over his cock with his hand, moving his hand up and down and coating the vicinity of his cock with the lube.

"You good now?" Taehyung said, and Jungkook nodded shyly. "Can baby fuck me, then? I really want it, Kookie." Taehyung said, and Jungkook nodded again, more eager.

"Want m-my cock?" Jungkook asked, and Taehyung lay down on the bed, knees facing the ceiling as he brought them up, spreading his legs. Taehyung squeezed his hard cock between his legs and then nodded.

"Yeah. Please. Come on-" Taehyung groaned impatiently. Jungkook put his hands on the bed and then pressed the tip of his cock to Taehyung's hole. Jungkook looked at Taehyung unsurely, but Taehyung wined, tipping his head back. "Jungkook! Fuck me-"

"Sorry daddy," Jungkook said, and then pressed his cock in slowly. Taehyung's eyes widened and he closed them quickly, letting out a choked moan.

"Ah fuck- that's- that's odd-" Taehyung rasped, closing his eyes. Jungkook continued to press into him, going slowly. "Yeah. That's really fuckin' weird- go faster."

"Okay," Jungkook said hastily, pressing into him quicker. Taehyung was flushed, and he let out another moan, louder than usual. "Nngh- Jungkookie- faster- please-"

Jungkook went in faster, filling him up. Taehyung took to it fast, didn't look pained or like he was going to cry. "Faster-"

"I-I can't! You- you're so tight-" Jungkook let out, and then slammed his hips into him. Taehyung moaned feverishly, fingers squeezing into his palm. Taehyung hummed. "Yeah. Just like that-"

Jungkook fucked into him again, and again. Taehyung let out a smirk, looking at Jungkook. "Harder."

"T-Taehyungie-" Jungkook squeaked, and Taehyung saw the expression on Jungkook's face and squeezed his walls around Jungkook's cock. Jungkook let out a gasp, closing his eyes. "Ah! F-fuck! Tae- d-do that again, please-"

Taehyung clenched around Jungkook's cock again, and Jungkook felt the hot pleasure shoot up his spine, whimpering out. Jungkook started fucking Taehyung faster, gripping his biceps. Taehyung gripped his hips and almost led him.

"S'fun, Kookie? Do you like it? Like fucking me, baby?" Taehyung asked, and Jungkook nodded quickly, sniffling. "Y-you're s-so-" Jungkook sniffled, and then fucked into Taehyung, and then slammed into his prostate. "-warm, I-"

Taehyung suddenly let out a loud whine, digging his fingers into Jungkook's waist. "K-Kook-" Taehyung let out, eyes big. Jungkook continued rolling his hips against that spot. "Fuck- baby- b-baby that feels r-really good-"

Jungkook had his head tucked in Taehyung's neck. Taehyung squeezed around Jungkook's cock again, his other hand fisting at his own cock. He heard Jungkook mewl lightly. Taehyung paused.

"Are you crying?" Taehyung asked.

"N-no. Shut- shut u-up-"

"Fuck-" Taehyung let out, and then Jungkook lifted his head up to look at him, holding himself up. Taehyung's features softened when he saw Jungkook's eyes full of tears. "Aw, my baby- you're actually crying! This is really sensitive on your cock, huh?"

Jungkook nodded, bottom lip jutting out, tear falling from his eye. Taehyung kissed him softly, cradling his sides and pressed his thumbs against Jungkook's nipples over his pink sweater. Jungkook cried into Taehyung's lips and then whimpered at the oversensitivity of Taehyung's velvet walls.

Jungkook sat up, his pink sweater riding up till his waist. Jungkook's hips moved delicately, fucking into Taehyung at a pace. Taehyung reeled at the feeling and then saw more tears spill out of Jungkook's starry eyes. "G-gonna cum-"

"Cum, baby boy." Taehyung said, and Jungkook bit his bottom lip and then pulled out of Taehyung's hole almost fully- only to slam it back in with full pressure. Taehyung gasped out at the feeling, jaw-dropping. Jungkook just put his hands against his face and then came.

Taehyung whimpered when Jungkook fucked his orgasm out in Taehyung, finally bottoming out and pulling out of Taehyung, breathing heavily, condom soiled. Jungkook sniffled at Taehyung, who looked at Jungkook with a small glint in his eye.

"You liked my cock, Taehyungie?" Jungkook said, giving him a watery smile. "Were moaning really loud, too. I think you might pull a Sehun-"

"That's it," Taehyung growled, and then sat up suddenly and flipped Jungkook over so he was on top of him. Jungkook let out a cry of confusion but got turned so he was on his front. Taehyung grabbed Jungkook's hips by either side and pulled them up so his ass was in the air.

"T-Taehyung-" Jungkook squeaked, and Taehyung grabbed the bottle of lube. "What are you-"

Jungkook let out a squeal of delight when Taehyung pressed the tip of the bottle of lube into Jungkook's ass and then squeezed the bottle so his hole got filled up with lube. Jungkook's jaw dropped, hands clutching the sheets. "T-Taehyung!" Jungkook cried, eyes wide.

Taehyung pulled the lube bottle away and dropped it, seeing Jungkook's hole wet and gleaming with lube. Jungkook let out strings of ah's, his hips getting pulled higher up, face getting pressed against the pillow, thighs spread apart, hole fluttering. Taehyung got up on his knees, grabbed Jungkook's hips, and then slammed his cock into him.

Jungkook screamed, practically, eyes filling with tears again. Taehyung moaned with a smirk, dropping his head back and sinking into Jungkook. "So- so fucking wet, fuck-"

"Taehyungie-" Jungkook sniffled, voice muffled against the pillow. Jungkook turned his head and craned his neck to look at Taehyung, who grabbed Jungkook's hips and began fucking into his sloppy hole. The squelching sound made them both feel giddy.

"My-" Taehyung fucked into him. "Baby-" Taehyung continued, slamming into his prostate. "Boy."

"Yours. Your b-baby." Jungkook said, and Taehyung hummed, bringing Jungkook's hips back and forth.

They kept going for another minute or two, until Taehyung simply couldn't control himself and came in Jungkook's ass, filling his already wet and sloppy hole with more cum. Taehyung pulled out slowly, breathing heavily. Jungkook's ass was still in the air, thighs trembling. Taehyung grinned at the sight and then turned him around softly. He kissed his collarbone and shoulder blades. Both kissed for a long time.

"W-was I good?" Jungkook asked.

"Amazing," Taehyung whispered, kissing Jungkook's collarbone. "Would love to do that again. Not any time soon, but again."

"Okie," Jungkook said, smiling drowsily up at the boy. "Love it when you fill me up."

"Me too," Taehyung said, and then lifted Jungkook up from the bed and took him to the shower. Though both had showered earlier in the day, they simply cleaned up. The boyfriends then got dressed in comfortable pajamas and decided to watch a movie.

Taehyung sat down on the bed and Jungkook jumped on his lap- and both groaned at the pain in their ass at the same time.

Jungkook giggled and kissed Taehyung's forehead. Taehyung squeezed Jungkook's waist. They both watched some movie while eating ramen- deciding not to go to the cafeteria for dinner. Taehyung had to pause the movie midway because Jungkook fell asleep on his lap.

Taehyung lay him down and they both fell asleep quickly, kissing each other while humming, both tasting like ramen.

https://jeontaeh.tumblr.com/post/647265434544013312/forty-two

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felicityb-reviews · 6 years

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Lee Taemin - Feature Spotlight

Um... Surprise?!?!!?

So... While developing my playlists for my SHINee FSLs, I ran into a few problems (I guess). SHINee has such a wide and varied discography, I feel like it'd be a dishonor to them to just throw songs from completely different eras together like it wouldn't be an incredibly jarring experience. I also couldn't decide on a set number of tracks from each album to put in each playlist; I feel like doing more than three songs per album when pulling from four and five albums would just muddy up the playlist and make it unfocused.

So.

Do enjoy this Taemin FSL (I was planning on doing one on him March, anyway), while I work on my SHINee FSL series.

And yes, that does mean the SHINee tribute is going to extend into February; I'll keep you all updated as best as I can.

youtube

Wicked (ACE)

Oh Wicked... You swerved my ass big time when I first listened to you. Idk how, but to be fair - hindsight *is* 20/20.

Wicked starts out with a very calm trumpet line over smooth chords, but it doesn't stay that way for long. Quite like it's hard to keep Taemin in his clothes, the sassy Funk elements just couldn't stay tamed. But that's okay. That's why we like Wicked.

This is a song that I'd really love to see Taemin perform with a live band. Maybe a little choreo. But mostly just Taemin having fun with his backing band. That'd be so cool.

I'm Crying (Flame of Love)

When Taemin announced that he was debuting in Japan with Sayonara Hitori, I was... Intrigued™. I mostly didn't know what to expect (especially with Taeminnie serving Elvin Royalty/Fantasy Prince realness with the teasers), but I was real interested in what the music would sound like. Cause that's what I'm here for, sis.

I'm Crying is J-Pop af. It's also the closest thing to a ballad that I'd enjoy from Taemin. Idk why I don't like his ballads, they just feel bland and so unlike him to me. But I'm Crying is perfect, because it's got that Japanese Winter Ballad™ (all my J-pop fam knows exactly what I'm talking about) feel, but with his signature drama mixed in.

My favorite aspect of the song is how soft and bittersweet the opening melody is. It's such a simple piano melody, but I'm such a sucker for them. And when the strings kicked in?!?!!? I was gone, b.

One by One (Press It)

If ACE showed us Taemin's potential as a soloist, then Press It is Taemin realizing that potential, and showing us Lee Taemin, the artist. ACE remains my favorite body of work by Taemin, but Press It has some of my favorite songs by him.

Like, Top five favorite, sis.

Remember when I mentioned Taemin's signature drama?!?! One by One is a great example of that. Jonghyun is King of the Drama Gays, but Taemin is the Crown Prince. Every time I listen to One by One, I imagine Taemin dancing in the rain to it. Yes honey, full on '90s drama. And it fits, because One by One (hell, the best songs from Press It) all have a '90s flare to them.

Crazy 4 u (MOVE)

Crazy 4 u is one that might have fooled me if I hadn't peeped ha from the jump. See, you don't spring a song like Wicked on a bitch, and expect to surprise ha again with a song that starts out just the same. No ma'am!!

Crazy 4 u, to its credit, stays in the midtempo range for the first verse and prechorus (quite a bit longer than Wicked). Then the beat gets really going, and finally explodes into an RnB influsrd Future Bass style drop. Crazy 4 u never quite pops like Wicked does, but this is another song I'd like to see Taemin perform with a live band. But this time, I definitely wanna see him doin' it big with the choreo.

Door (Flame of Love)

Door is a song I'm surprised I haven't seen on a Korean release from Taem. It's very Jpop-esque, but if anyone could sell J-Pop style music to a Korean audience, it'd be these SHINee boys.

Door is a song that fits right in with the rest of Taemin's repertoire; midtempo with lots of drama. But damn if this man doesn't have me hooked to this type of song from him. He just does them so well, and I just really appreciate that.

Heart Stop (featuring Kang Seulgi of Red Velvet) (MOVE)

Heart Stop was a song that was H I G H L Y anticipated, because of one Miss Kang Seulgi. If we're not counting Drip Drop (which features unctredited background vocals from Miss LiVii/Alice Vicious), Heart Stop was Taemin's first official collaboration as a soloist.

And what a collaboration it is, sis.

Heart Stop is pretty upbeat for a Taemin b-side, but idk if I'd call her an uptempo. She's got groove, but this isn't "dance at the club music"; this is "seduce your mans into giving you $500k" music. Whatever you want to call her, I need Taemin and Seulgi to carve out some choreo to this, and scalp me. They're both awkward as hell around the opposite binary gender (cause they're both so fucking gay), but with some preparation, we could avoid the awkward (but still iconic) mess that was Taemin's collab stage with Sunmi.

Or Seulgi's dance stage with Taeyong. God, that was so fucking bad.

As far as collaborations go, Seulgi is present on the song just as much as Taemin is, and that is really appreciated. They even go as far to sing some sections together, and that was way more than I was expecting. Typically, collabs like this have the featured artist sing/rap one part in the song (typically the bridge) and then they're done. So it's nice to see them make this a Seulgi song as much as they made it a Taemin song. Cause idk if I'd like this as much as I do if it was just Taemin.

Soldier (Press It)

Can we give it up for Press It one good time, y'all?!!?! This album is top heavy with midtempos, but Taemin delivers every single one of them effortlessly. The album is a masterpiece, and I fall in love with it again every time I give it a listen.

Soldier is the quintessential Taemin midtempo. It's what comes to mind whenever I think of his style, sis. Soldier become a timeless classic within Taemin's repertoire, because a) he loves to perform the motherfucker and b) it's first song of his that we hear that *sounds* like Taemin, if that makes sense. I love it.

Play Me (ACE)

Play Me is the song I was expecting when I heard Wicked for the first time. But I'm glad Wicked turned into a funky uptempo, cause it sho' woulda' been awkward to have two sexy, smoldering midtempos so close to each other on an album as short as ACE. Play Me plays out (heh heh heh) the way you'd expect it, but there's nothing wrong with that. She doesn't reinvent the wheel, but she does her job well and that's what matters in my book.

Do It Baby (Flame of Love)

Do It Baby is Taemin givin' us an east meets west affair. The song features a hip hop beat, accented by a Far East sounding riff. I would probably hate this if it didn't work out so well, but God does it work.

if Taemin ever had the urge to film a video for this, I'd wanna see him doing a lot of martial arts inspired posing (similar to what 2NE1 did in I Love You) to the verses and breakdown, and then pull out some break dancing to the beat switch in the latter half of the song. It'd be so fucking cool.

Sexuality (Press It)

Can we give it up again for Press It, you guys?!?! Cause not only are all the midtempos strong as fuck all, but the uptempos are bloody amazing, girl!!

Sexuality is a very different song than what we're used to seeing from an SMe act. Not to say that SM is unfamiliar with a little controversy in their music (BoA's Kiss My Lips, anyone?!?!?!?!), but sis... The song is titled Sexuality.

Lee Taemin is bold as fuck, ladies and gentlemen.

Sexuality is Taemin's drama translated to an '80s template, with a heaping dollop of sex added for good measure. I can't listen to this song in public (as expected for a song titled Sexuality), but it's just so fucking good.

I never knew I needed '80s Taem till Sexuality and MOVE snatched my wig and blasted her into the sun, but now I need every album of his moving forward to include a song like this.

Ace (ACE)

Ace is another song I can't listen to in public. Mostly cause I'm too busy body rolling and giving JRE levels of stankitude in the face. But also because it feels like Taem is trying to fuck you through the music.

This is not a drill, folks - Lee Taemin is trying to sex your body with his Ace. And fuck if I'd ever stop that demon from ruining my life like that.

Ace is what us niggas Negroes of American Nationality like to call a sex jam. A classy sex jam, to be specific. This is not the song to jump zaddy to. Taemin has been generous enough to provide Sexuality for that. No baby, Ace is for lighting some scented candles, putting on your sexiest lingerie, and romancing your mans (or woman, because you know my gay ass doesn't discriminate) into bed with you. Ace is for those nights when you wanna take it nice and slow.

Ace is a rarity within the K-Pop landscape. You don't really hear songs like this. Most love songs are PG as fuck all, and there's not a damn thing wrong with that. I love to be all soft and giggly. But sometimes I want something more sensual.

Tiger (Sayonara Hitori)

So, remember how I said Taem could bring some of his Japanese songs over to Korea, and make it work?!?!

Tiger is not one of those songs.

Tiger is J-Pop as fuck all. Tiger is the type of song the Final Battle™ of an anime/video game would be animated against. Tiger is the opening theme to a dark fantasy anime. Tiger is, simply put, everything I wanted from a Japanese Taemin release. This song fits him so well, and I fucking love it.

Yes, I even love the breakdowns that are all wub wub'd out, because a) it fits the song so well (Tiger could be described as an experiment in how to do extreme sonic shifts without alienating your listener) and b) it's not some Skrillex style bullshit. If Taemin had decided not go with Sayonara Hitori as the feature track for his debut, I'd have loved to see him do Tiger. Especially with those Elvin Royalty/Fantasy Prince Lewks™ he was serving with that silver weave.

FINAL DRAGON (Sayonara Hitori)

If you I were to judge the whole of Final Dragon by just the first thirty seconds, it'd have gone on the trash on first listen. I don't know what's up with that weird Gregorian chant. But it gets better. After Taemin sets the atmosphere (I guess) with his little spoken word, we get thrown into a half time section with the most dramatic horn n violin duet I've ever heard.

And that's when the real fun starts.

Final Dragon is another song that would absolutely not work in Korea. This style of hard rock mixed with symphonic instrumentation sounds very Japanese in texture. But once again, this why we were intrigued by a Japanese Taemin debut. Not only did it make sense financially (Taemin is very popular in Japan), it makes sense musically and thematically.

Final Dragon shows off Taemin's title as the Crown Prince very effectively. This is another song I need to see Taemin perform with a live backing band. I put Final Dragon right after Tiger in this list, because it feels like the aftermath of that Final Battle™. It's the ending theme to Tiger's opening theme. Yes, the two songs were side by side in their original track listing, but sis...

If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

Rise (MOVE)

Firstly, if you're listening to the playlist as you read, I'm so sorry for that whiplash, baby. I took you from one end of the spectrum to the other, but there's a method to my madness. I promise!!

Rise feels like closure. You just endured this epic battle (and the aftermath of it), and now you're approaching reality again. Rise feels like life after crisis. Rise feels like healing. Like, you don't how you survived, but you're just lucky to be alive.

Rise is a big, rousing power ballad (like most of Taemin's midtempos) that feels like it lives and breathes. I like to think of it more of an experience than a song. Of all the songs I've mentioned I wanted to hear live, this is the one I wanna hear the most.

Thirsty (OFF SICK Concert Remix) (SM STATION)

Thirsty feels like a call out, guys. Thirsty is Taemin tellin' us he knows the way we look at him, and he fuckin loves that shit like the chaotic demon he is. Thirsty is Taemin challenging us to give it to him as good as he gives it us. Possibly.

Thirsty is, simply put, Taemin feelin his oats, babies. It's a loud and bombastic declaration of his sexuality (as if he doesn't wear that shit like a designer feaux fur coat), and it's really cool to watch since Taemin isn't your typical idol soloist.

Alright my loves, that's it for this Feature Spotlight!! Did we enjoy the surprise?!?!? Be sure to tune in next week for part one of the SHINee tribute in honor of Jonghyun at 6pm EST (I promise!!). And speaking of Jonghyun, be sure to check out his Feature Spotlight here. And while you're here, there's no harm in checking out my debut Review Roundup. In case you missed it. Love you, guys!!

#Felicity B #Taemin #Feature Spotlight #SHINee

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rynhaswritersblock · 4 years

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giant teddy bears (hc) | p.p.

summary: first dates are awkward, peter sucks at dance dance revolution, and the night ends with a giant teddy bear and something sweet.

warnings: IM SORRY I THINK THIS ONE IS A BIT LESS CHAOTIC THAN THE OTHERS IM SORRY I KNOW THAT'S LIKE MY BRAND LOL BUT I JUST AAAAAAAAAAA

+ + +

- are you ready?

- i'm listening...

- no that was weak come on guys!

- i said ARE YOU READY?!

...

- i think we can do better than that

- i said ARE YOU READY?!!!!!

- YEAHYEAH!!!!!!

- i'm so sorry i just watched a gif of sebastian stan doing that thing where he gets super hype and then just starts laughing but i really harvested that hype energy

- pro tip: go back and read that first bit in seb's voice you Will Not Regret It

- after writing one normal imagine, i am back to writing another hc

- the next one will be normal though LOL

- guess what

- chicken butt

- jk IT'S TIME FOR THE ARCADE WITH Y/N AND PETER!!!!!

- HELLS YEAH

- y'all r never gonna guess what i'm doing

- i am listening to one direction WOW

- heart attack is an underrated song 😔

- you guys said the emojis in italics made you lose ur mind so

- they're staying

- fuck it slant 😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀

- fun fact i got pretty far into writing this and then was like "Hmm... no yeah This Ain't It" and so we're back and we're switching up the prompt a little bit

- so YAY

- so peter's balls finally dropped or something idk and he got his bitch ass together and asked you out!!!!!!!

- yay peter!!

- he was super nervy while doing it y'all were just walking home from school as per usual and this is how it went down

- y'all were passing the local arcade

"y/n- did you, uh, did you wanna go to the arcade tonight?"

"ooh yes, that sounds like so much fun"

"awesome... it's a date"

- and even though peter muttered that last part

- YOU HEARD IT

- who has super hearing NOW bitch

"a date?"

- you look over at peter and quirk a brow

- but on the inside ur like AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

- YEAHYEAHNASDBFKSDNGLSFNKDC

- penis man gets flustered as FUCK

"oH-! well uhhhhhhh only if you, uhhh only if you want it to be"

"looks like i'll be dressing slightly better than normal"

- at this point y'all are at ur apartment building so you quickly peck him on his cheek (we're confident today ladies and gays!) and run up the steps, waving as you shut the door

- peter's in Fucking Shock.

- eyes wide, cheeks Red As Hell, standing there like Nobody Move! 0_0

- it takes some weirdo person idk to bump into him as he walks by to get him out of his trance

- (he jumps and turns to look at them, throwing his arms in the air like ?? before just sighing)

- (then he remembers Holy Shit I HAVE A DATE WITH Y/N AAAAAAAAAAAA and sort of like Skips away like how he does in far from home after the kiss you get the deal)

- u make sure to put on ur Cutest Fit

some inspo <3

- IM KIDDING

- jk the Ball Pit Dress Blanket Thing is a look and a half 😼

- in case u were wondering (no one is) this is what i would wear:

- when reading fics i Always have to have what im wearing in mind otherwise i am very bothered idk why

- anyways thank u pinterest for the style inspo

- shameless self promo my pinterest is in my bio and we can send each other memes on there <3

- ofc u can choose ur own outfit 😌😌😌😌😌😌😌😌😌

- Not Me putting on jeans and feeling Fancy 😂🤏👋

- N E Ways! u put on ur dope fit and get all nice smelling n shit

- hair all pwetty

- cue (queue? i hate this word) that scene in homecoming of peter getting ready for the dance

- except he doesn't wear a suit (DEFINITELY WONDERS IF HE SHOULD THOUGH) and instead opts for this fit:

- Mhmm..... yea.... Yup.

- look at the SHOES

- anyways i think peter would wear that One Fit from the beginning of hoco with the blue sweater over the button up or maybe something a bit nicer idk

- the look i put is superior 😔

- he's finally ready and smells gr8 and hair is done just how he knows u like it

- may is fucking spitballing tips like a madwoman

"give her all your attention, peter"

"let her win most of the games, but don't make it look like you're letting her win"

"oh and god peter BUY HER A GIANT TEDDY BEAR"

- peter's like Yup Yup Got It May on the outside but on the inside he's fucking taking notes like the nerd he is

- bae

- just as you finish ur final touches ur phone buzzes

whale penis On my way :)

- fyi a whale's penis is called a dork 😌 the more u know 😀😀😀😀

- you quickly text him back and before you know it this Puta is in front of ur door and his heart is going ZOOOOOOOOOM

- but since the two of you are so close and in sync he can usually hone in on your heartbeat even from a far ish distance so he focuses and finds your heartbeat easily

- ur heart is racing too and it makes him feel better

- he finally gets the balls to knock on ur door and Does Just That

- you open it SO FAST (you were secretly standing just outside the door waiting for peter but he doesn't have to know that)

"hi, peter"

- the look on peter's face

- he in Awe

- u look so pretty!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAa

- this is a lovepage for that little 'a' at the end of that scream. idk why it makes me smile. it's like the underdog

- i need to fucking Restart my Brain jesus christ

- i get attached to little things so easily MOVING ON

- Beter finally regains himself

- shit excuse me

- 🅱eter finally regains himself

- there we go

"you look.... wow"

- ur face gets SO HOT

"thought i'd go for something other than leggings and oversized t-shirts"

- aka my whole wardrobe

- Very Basic White Girl of me

- (assuming the Fit ur wearing is the picture i put) (if not you can just ignore this little bit) ur like cleavage or whatever is out and it is Definitely Not What Peter's Used To Seeing!

- the Collarbones

- Sexy

- u catch peter's eyes linger on ur chest for a second and u 0_0 for a second

- but then it's like YAY FOR ATTRACTIVE FEATURES

- THANKS PUBERTY????????????

"you look wow as well"

"oH well i dress like this pretty normally i think it's really not that big of a change i probably should've dressed better-"

"you always look good, peter"

- Faking Confidence! hoping peter can't hear ur heart banging against ur sternum!

- but he can... Little Shit

- VERY RED FACES FOR THE TWO OF YOU

- VERY FLUSTERED

- peter is such a gentleman

- waits for you to lock ur door before holding out a hand nervously

- you take it ofc and he intertwines ur fingers and sort of Rubs His Thumb AGainst Ur Skin???? when i put it like that it sounds weird

- i appreciate writing headcanons because i don't have to think things out so that they sound pretty i can just Braindump and y'all r like Yea!! 😀❤

- a very nice feeling <3

- the two of you walk down the sidewalk together

- eventually the awkwardness of Woah We're On A Date!? is gone

- peter starts swinging your hands and you can't stop smiling

- a few people look at the two teenagers just giddily and dramatically swinging their arms together and laughing as they walk down the street

- but those people find it very cute

- y'all talk about the weirdest shit too

- peter rambles about his theory of there being a multiverse

"i mean, what if there really is a multiverse? like, i refuse to believe that we're the only living beings in this whole universe, much less believe that this is the only universe. and, when you think about it, it's like a whole new set of doors of knowledge are suddenly there for us to explore, i mean it just completely changes how we understand the initial singularity. we're talking about an internal inflation system and then how would that even work with all the quantum-? it's insane-!"

- he looks over at you and you're just smiling

"sorry"

"don't apologize for being a genius, peter"

- the ffh reference 😼

- his insides are like lkdsfhskjdfbg at that

- you also have ur nerd moment (i'm making this about reading because.... I Think We Can All Agree)

"what i don't get is all the imbeciles at school who think reading is stupid. they're all like, 'i haven't read a book in like two years! ha ha!' and i'm like 'oh! no wonder you're so stupid!' because not only do they think it's quirky for whatever reason to not read, but reading genuinely makes you smarter and they're all missing out on it! moreover, the feeling of getting sucked into a book and going on the story with the characters and feeling everything they're feeling and when you finish the book it's like holy shit i can't even process this and- oh i'm rambling"

- peter's just looking at you in awe

"this is why i like you"

- NOBODY MOVE

- you Cannot Breathe for a second and the two of you stop walking (still holding hands doe)

"you..?"

"i did ask you on a date, didn't i?"

- you scoff

"you muttered that it was a date and the only reason that fact was established was because i heard it and acted on it"

- peter sighs exasperatedly, still grinning like the Fool He Is as he lets go of your hand to swing his arms dramatically

"well, sorry i'm not super smooth and suave all the time!"

"yeah, cause you're never smooth and suave"

- now he :o

"hey-!"

"that's why i like you, too, parker"

- SMILE GETS EVEN BIGGER

- BIG CHEESY MOMENT

- the two of you clasp hands again and you hug his arm as you continue walking

- i wanna hug a boy's arm

- you get to the arcade and he opens the door for you

"m'lady"

- he's such a dork i hate (love) him

- now here u guys....

- guess who's like genuinely never been to an arcade...

..........

- 🙋‍♀️

- it me!

- yes yes we know i have no life

- SO BASICALLY

- i'm just gonna like fucking Spit-Ball the adventures of y/n and peter at the arcade

- if ur confused rn i am too

- OKAY

- SO U WALK IN

- imma walk up to him and imma push him and imma say I HAVE AIDS no wait thats so strong hold back, savor it, BUILD to that

- i know i didn't get all the words right whatever

- at first it's like Sensory Overload! but then 🅱eter drags you over to the front desk and y'all get ur tickets

- and then it's STRAIGHT TO THE PACMAN BOOTH

- he looks so FUCKIGN CUTE cause his tongue is like sticking out as he focuses

- y'all try the claw machine SO MANY TIMES

- not you managing to actually make it work and getting a spider-man toy

- nOT YOU GIVING IT TO PETER AND HIS CHEEKS ARE JUST 🔴

- the slant on that emoji i'm fucking losing my mind

- you absolutely crush him at the basketball game thing

- and y'all play that thing that has the weird seats or whatever and you're racing

- he lets you win

- y'all KILL IT at dance dance revolution

- peter trips over his feet and you laugh So Loud the people around you are like o_0

- uhhhhh what the fuck else is at an arcade

- i just KNOW i'm gonna forget something and y'all will be like BUT WHAT ABOUT THE _____

- my apologies in advance

- at the end of the night y'all get pizza from the little restaurant they have (idk if that's an actual thing arcades do but fuck it now they do)

- and peter wins you a giant bear and you smile SO BIG!

- peter can't stop smiling at u and u both r so so happy

- guys i need to get a graphic design is my passion in here.....

- getting a bit worried cause idk where to put one 0_0

- not sure where to go with this now... may just read some fics to get inspiration and completely forget to come back to this <3

- i promise i won't i wanna get this up tonight AAAAAAAAAAAA

- okay i will be back after i get inspo

- update it's been an hour and i got distracted have yet to find inspo i'll be back

- update part 2 i went downstairs to get a snack to Fuel My Brain and ant-man and the wasp was on so... watched that

- FUCK INSPO I CAN DO THIS MYSELF

- but i have the brain of a strapless croc.... whatever

-OKAY

- SO YOU GOT YOUR BEAR RIGHT

- YAY

- then you can peter are like "we should probably go" cause it's getting late and it's new york and yes peter's spider-man but y'all are on a date! and we don't want to get attacked!

- huzzah!

- so you leave

- holding hands

- (screaming inside)

- ur other hand is just holding the large ass bear to your chest and peter cannot stop SMILING

- the chaos level has gone down i'm sorry i'm tired

- here's some normalcy!

- you start walking home and see delmar's and peter's like "MR DELMAR WILL GIVE US FREE SOFT SERVES :D" so. you go to delmar's

- you walk in still holding hands and the Second mr delmar sees you he (¬‿¬)

"what brings you two kiddos in so late?"

- peter's BLUSHING

"we, uh, we went on a date SO YOU HAVE SOFT SERVES RIGHT?"

- he's so fucking flustered and it's adorable

- mr delmar just laughs

"on the house just for the lovers"

- now who's blushing

- your name

- "your name" i was feeling spicy huh

- I HAVE TO PACK FOR MY TRIP TOMORROW

- HAHA OOPS

- mr delmar hands you the ice creams and y'all thank you

- he winks you sly bastard

- the two of you walk out and sit on the bench outside to eat your ice cream

- hands are feeling lonely cause you needed to hold your ice cream 😔

- at first y'all are just silent and then you look over at him just happily licking his ice cream

- he's got chocolate ice cream next to his mouth and you laugh

- he turns to you

"what?"

"messy eater"

- you mumble as you raise a hand and wipe it off with your thumb

- you wipe your thumb on your napkin and look back up at peter and suddenly the air has changed cause he's just staring at you or your lips really and oh wow now the air has left your lungs and your heart is racing

"can i kiss you?"

...

- peter tastes like chocolate.

HERE'S A MEME TO MAKE UP FOR THE LACK OF GRAPHIC DESIGN IS MY PASSION

- what if we kissed on the jouch? 😳

- hi lizthearies shoutout to our pinterest convos

- alright story = over

+ + +

THIS TOOK ME SO LONG TO WRITE AND FOR WHAT

ily all, treat yourself and others with kindness (dream with harry had me crying within the first five minutes i love him so much), and WEAR A MASK (unless you're in a safe place aka not the US lol)

AND DONT FORGET TO CONTINUE SIGNING PETITIONS AND SPEAKING OUT!! BLM IS NOT A TREND!

#peter parker #tom holland #peter parker imagines #marvel #mcu #spiderman #peter parker x reader #spiderman x reader #fanfic #fluff #writing #peter #parker #thomas holland

0 notes

drippeddaily · 6 years

Text

Album of the Year #10: JAY Z - 4:44

Artist: JAY Z

Album: 4:44

Listen:

Apple Music

TIDAL

Background

Throughout all of Jay Z’s past albums, we've come to understand and love this character known for his drug dealing, no-strings-attached sex, and excessive wealth (Jay built his Roc-A-Fella dynasty, became CEO of Def Jam Recordings, and achieved so much more due to his ability to hustle). This character being Jay Z, Hov, Jigga, but not Shawn Carter. Although there have certainly been instances of him being personal in the past (selling drugs to his mother, shooting his brother, feeling responsible for his nephews death, and so on), the large majority of his music has been braggadocio. Magna Carta Holy Grail, his previous album (from 2013), spent almost an hour telling us about his love for riches. Whether that be his collection of Basquiat paintings, designer clothes, or liquor preferences, by the end… well we got the point. Although it did touch on serious topics here and there, it was far from what a 40 year old father would sound fitting discussing. The party-friendly, trap-influenced, attempt at mainstream pandering was about as interesting as watching paint dry. And not even a Basquiat at that.

Now fast forward to 2017. In the time span between 2013 and now, Solange (his sister-in-law), was caught hitting him in an elevator. Then his once close friend, Kanye West, ranted against him. And finally, his wife, Beyonce, made an entire album about him supposedly cheating on her. With controversy at a high surrounding Jay’s respectability, everyone was hungry to hear what he had to say. Curiosity began peaking when billboards and sign began appearing with nothing more that the the numbers “4:44”. It wasn’t much longer until more went up with a date (6.30.17) and a name, JAY Z. No one knew what to expect from a 2017 Jay album, but it’s safe to say he surpassed any and all that prefaced him.

Review

10 seconds into the appropriately titled first track, “Kill Jay Z”, we’re faced with these lines:

Kill Jay Z, they'll never love you

You'll never be enough, let's just keep it real, Jay Z

Fuck Jay Z, I mean, you shot your own brother

First thing off the bat, Jay is dismembering his persona and taking a more self-aware approach. Eric Carter did survive the bullet, and Jay was only a child when this instance took place, but we can see his past mistakes still haunts him to this day. It appears as though he’s still learning how to live with his regrets. What makes “Kill Jay Z” so transparent is that in the process of examining his mistakes and how needs to change, he attacks the ego that has helped him to achieve so much. It’s only fitting he opens up so much on the opening track. Soon after these lines he goes onto discuss how he must change for his children, his tears, pain, regret, and how the mentality he once needed for hustling is no longer necessary. He touches on his relationship with longtime friend and collaborator, Kanye West, and ultimately we can see they’re not in a good place. He ends the song on a few lines referencing how he ‘almost went Eric Benét’, Eric had continually cheated on Halle Berry, giving us a quick glimpse at a very prevalent regret Jay currently has that we will learn most about on the album's title track. Jay’s reflective lyrics flow incredibly well over the soulful (yet modern) No ID production. No ID handles all the production on the album, and each beat is fantastic and perfect for Jay’s crafting. His drums, sample flips, everything, No ID is a legend and absolutely kills it.

A smooth mix of piano and vocal sample (of the legendary Nina Simone) begin “The Story of O.J.”, before Jay comes in discussing the labels that have been attributed to black people in various places of society. The simply worded hook has so much to offer. It shows that people want to separate themselves from molds, but that despite this, due to experiences related to skin colour, there continues to be a common thread and underlying sense of unity. Jay takes 2 perspectives in order to urge people not to abandon recognition of their race, as being aware will help to bring change moreso. This negative viewpoint of his can be seen in this line (most importantly his reaction, listen to how he says it):

O.J. like, "I'm not black, I'm O.J." …okay

The first verse has Jay speaking to what could represent his younger south and many black youth today. He encourages drug dealers to stop before it’s too late and invest their earnings in wise and legitimate ways. The 2nd (and final) verse continues to further discuss how Jay has spent money wisely and also where he wishes he had. Ultimately, Jay wants to help those less-advantaged black youth to become successful like he has, and to live a full life. The goal is to paint himself as a healthy role model but also one that can admit his mistakes, to promote the best choices he can. And for such a race related song, the Simone sample is perfect. “The Story of O.J.” is a great song to show Jay’s growth in maturity, and the beat is especially fitting to this growth.

Jay’s first lines on “Smile” are continuing from where “The Story of O.J.” left off, further discussing his rags to riches and wealth. But it’s right after these first few lines Jay discusses a more personal insight towards his life, with these lines:

Mama had four kids, but she's a lesbian

Had to pretend so long that she's a thespian

Had to hide in the closet, so she medicate

Society shame and the pain was too much to take

Cried tears of joy when you fell in love

Jay is going beyond talking about the challenges gays face and allowing us to see how they have impacted his mother. Society would’ve condemned her for being attracted to the same sex. So, she tried for many years to change and act as if she were straight. This moment serves as another great example of Jay’s personal growth, as he used to use homophobic insults in songs such as “Takeover” and “N- What, N- Who (Originator 99)”. Jay goes on to discuss being loyal, his wealth, overcoming obstacles, Funkmaster Flex, and uses his pen-free abilities to craft great wordplay that Hov is known for. He’s showing happiness for his success, for his mom, and for life, which is only right for a song titled “Smile”. ID did a great job with the catchy Stevie Wonder flip and the song ends with a beautiful poem from Gloria, Jay’s mother. She spreads a positive message that encourages people to be happy with who they are, which is very appropriate based on all she had gone through. I believe it’s the 2nd time she has appeared on a Jay album (first being on The Black Album), and is a great way to close a great song.

“Caught In Their Eyes” has a more happy beat backing Jay. He uses his first verse to describe his struggles growing up and paints a portrait of those who oppose him. All while using some great wordplay. For instance:

I seen eyes wide as they're about to shoot

You can be a hairpin off and you can trigger your roots

On the surface level he’s describing the ways people lived and how they acted, and beyond that is another entendre about Questlove and the legendary Roots. Another line I really like is:

Y'all body language is all remedial

How could you see the difference between you and I?

The first meaning being the literal, that you can’t fathom how many leagues Hov is above you. But also it sounds like the literal letters ‘U’ and ‘I’. Then on top of that, the previous line ended on ‘remedial’, so you expect him to end the following line in the same scheme. This is no mistake, as ‘me and you’ could work easily in ‘you and I’’s place. His change of lyrics makes the words stand out more and is proper English, which could be a play on ‘language’ in ‘body language’. The whole first verse also has a theme of the human body throughout it, body language, hair, his cheek, and at least 3 references to eyes. It’s a short but very interesting and dense verse. Following it, Frank Ocean lends a small and curious hook, touching on the topic of Solipsism and determining what’s real. He claims he’s ready for Earth. Now I’m not certain of what the exact meaning of the hook is and I don’t want to take too big of stretches, but it’s possible it’s too show that the speaker of the song is more real (in a sense of loyalty and principles) than everyone. So much so that he feels as though everything else is literally fiction. Jay uses the 2nd verse to discuss how Londell McMillan (whom he names specifically) screwed over both Jay and Prince’s wished in regards to Prince’s music on streaming services. Despite Prince giving TIDAL (and only TIDAL) permission to use his music, McMillan sued Jay after Prince died in order to gain full control of Prince’s music. He describes the greed that exists in the record industry and ends the verse continuing on the theme of those who oppose him, referencing his ending friendship with Kanye. All of this sounds great over the groovy Nina Simone-sampled beat. I also really like the voice effects on Frank and Jay, it gives a really interesting texture to the song that makes the incredibly smooth beginning of the next track contrast beautifully.

“4:44”, the title track to the album, is in my opinion the most important song to the album. Honestly, I hesitated doing a review on this album because doing this song justice is no easy task. It’s grown to be one of my favourite Jay tracks and my song of the year. But nonetheless I will try!

Do I find it so hard

When I know in my heart

I'm letting you down every day

Letting you down every day

Why do I keep on running away?

No ID opens the song with an incredibly introspective piece of foreshadowing. From this 24 second intro, a red carpet is rolled out for Jay to give us opening lines that speak to us. And he does so with:

Look, I apologize, often womanize

Took for my child to be born, see through a woman's eyes

After years of tracks like Big Pimpin, Girls Girls Girls, Ain’t No N-, On To The Next One, 2 Many Hoes… well you get the idea, he opens up this track with lines that directly oppose and regret such a mindset (and lifestyle). 2017 is the year we saw Jay Z the feminist (at least on this song), and I for one love the growth. Jay not only regrets womanizing, but regrets how he treated his wife Beyonce (asking her not to embarrass him, for instance). He mentions begs Beyonce to pick up the phone and the vocal effect on his voice almost reminds me of a phone call, not sure if that was an intentional connection or not (but it certainly enhances my enjoyment regardless). He goes on to describe Beyonce maturing faster than him, dealing with multiple stillborns (when Jay performed this song live on SNL he actually didn’t say ‘stillborn’ because of the pain), treating her poorly in public, his terrible attempts at being a respectable husband (“I suck at love, I think I need a do-over”), and most notably, his unfaithfulness. As Jay and Beyonce grew apart and desolate from the stillborns, he went to find affection through cheating (I read this in a Genius annotation and haven't been able to verify the timeline so take with a grain of salt). This ripped them further apart, and in verse 3 he describes how a threesome resulted in him almost losing his family (also worth noting it lead to Beyonce’s album Lemonade). He goes a step further in his regret to consider how his children will react to these things (seeing the falsehoods in his father as a hero), once they inevitably do through others via the internet or write-ups (hopefully not this one!). As the song climaxes to this realization, the sample hits harder than ever with the words “I’m never gonna treat you like I should”. The roaring beat and verses make for a truly moving dynamic. Raw emotion is dripping in every aspect here. No I.D. brought out the most regretful and personal side of Shawn Carter. The soulful production, emotional vocals, and brutally honest lyrics makes this song not only one of Jay's best, but most wise. The moment it begins, it demands your attention. You don't have to worry about any fools skimming through this one, Jay.

“Family Feud” begins with Beyonce, which is perfect for the next song on the album. No ID sampled her vocals throughout the beat and her singing with Jay shows us there is always hope (especially after the previous song). Showing hope for relationships is a vital theme to the song, which we’ll see soon. Jay is back to a more confident approach in offering his wisdom. He spends his first verse talking about being successful, exploring religion, and sends a subliminal shot at Drake (“All this old talk left me confused / You'd rather be old rich me or new you?”). He also criticizes certain fans of old school hip hop for their judgements of new school hip hop fashion. Throughout the song wealth is discussed, but now strictly in braggadocio. He want’s to support fellow black peoples in their endeavours, in order to help revolt against black people being less-advantaged as a result of skin colour. This can be shown with:

I'll be damned if I drink some Belvedere while Puff got CÎROC

And throughout the song he says:

Nobody wins when the family feuds

In this case, family is referring to fellow black people. He advises unity and support will help communities, and bring more equality to society. In his Rap Radar interview, he mentions how as you go up in the world of success, there are less and less blacks. He uses his wealth as a goal for others to reach and encourages they do so through helping one and other. The song is both critical of older and newer generations with lines like:

Al Sharpton in the mirror takin' selfies

How is him or Pill Cosby s'posed to help me?

Old n***** never accepted me

And

New n***** is the reason I stopped drinkin' Dos Equis

This attempts to display the different mentalities. He continually mentions that 2 billions is better than 1, representing new and old generations (and his marriage as well). The message is this: put aside your differences and work as a team, because nobody wins when the family feuds.

For the past 24 minutes and 1 seconds, we have seen “Kill Jay Z” in place, essentially abandoning the persona that lead to his success. But there is a change of pace during the duration of “Bam” that makes it so exciting. The first words from Jay (and a reference to “Public Service Announcement”, from TBA) tell you exactly what I mean:

Fuck all this pretty Shawn Carter shit nigga, HOV

The aggressive nature of the line and Damian Marley’s chorus set the song up for Jay to come through to set records straight, and that he does. Dehaven was a drug dealer Jay worked with back in his hustling pre-music days. On social media, Dehaven has routinely claimed Jay never really did much hustling and was a mere runner. Hov spends part of his first verse shooting this down, claiming if he was only a runner he wouldn’t had’ve became the success he is now (as his music and clothing ventures cost a lot to begin). He goes onto explains that his nice side, Shawn, used to be in ‘flight mode’, as he was completely in the Jay Z mindset. This was the side of him that got him to be so wealthy (and continues to push him). Verse 2 is only 12 bars long, but is coated with references and entendres. He uses Rae Sremmurd, Bobby Shmurda, Nat Turner, Kanye, Black Sheep, and even the fact that he skips leg day, all to brag to us in the most clever ways. The mention of Rae and Bobby also could tie back to “Family Feud”, as it’s touching on the theme of newschool rappers. The hard hitting street reggae provide Jay with the perfect backdrop for him to use his ego for good and let people know he’s not fabricated.

The title of “Moonlight” is a reference to the film by the same name. It famously was confused with La La Land at the most recent Academy Awards, which Jay references in the hook of “Moonlight”. What makes the film Moonlight noteworthy is that it is the first film to win a Grammy for Best Picture that features an all black class, as well as the first LGBT movie to do the same. Moonlight is special because it excels without being like every other popular movie. The song “Moonlight” is asking rappers to apply this same principle to their artistry, as many popular rap acts aren’t experimenting or pushing the boundaries creativity-wise. Jay isn’t impressed:

Y'all got the same fuckin' flows

I don't know who is who

Jay pokes fun at the skrrt adlib (used by popular trap acts), how artists use the internet to snitch on themselves (for image), and how many of them not only make the same music, but share the same image. It particularly annoys Jay at the ego many of these artists share:

Stop walkin' around like y'all made Thriller, huh?

Jay also references how many rappers are signing to their first label offers, and specifically mentions how Lauryn Hill struggled with labels. This is a fitting choice of reference as the song samples Fu-Gee-La. Which gives the chorus’s use of La La Land 3 meanings:reference to film, reference to sample, and reference to artists being ignorant about their quality of music. Jay’s career proves you can make yourself successful without a label’s early on help, whilst innovating and making non formulaic music. This song alone pushes boundaries, in topics for sure, but instrumentally the beat is constantly changing and adjusting (which can be said for 4:44’s production as a whole, in fact). Even his flow is unique, in how he sways his words without ever sticking to one rhythm. He also lived the criminal life many artists use for their image. This gives his words on these topics more respect than otherwise. The song ends criticizing labels for their treatment of artists, mentioning specific CEO’s, in hopes this will sway young artists. Chance, Nas, Lupe, and tons more in the rap industry alone have contributed to this argument all the same. Time will tell if their message and “Moonlight”’s will have an influence or not. Hopefully a healthy change will be made.

Marcy Me is a song made to reflect on his past by tracing out homages to his influences and heroes. Before I break down his lyrics, I gotta say Jay’s flow is as good as it ever has been and the piano/drums/vocal-sample/etc work so well with it. This sample is so obscure on some Madlib type style too (“Todo o mundo e ninguém” By Quarteto 1111, from 1970, if anyone’s curious). Onto the rest of the song! The title alone pays respect to the legendary Marvin Gaye and his track Mercy Me. Then the intro is a Biggie quotation that ends before bragging about sex, which is appropriate for the album and it’s apologetic tones. From there, we see mentions of Jam Master Jay (of Run-DMC, RIP), Dennis Rodman, Michael Jordan, Tichina Arnold (an actress on Martin), Denzel Washington, Slick Rick, and Lisa Bonet. And that’s just within the 1st verse. What’s significant about the nostalgia-riddled details is that each of them helped give a young Shawn hope in Marcy, Brooklyn. He describes marcy with:

I'm from Marcy Houses, where the boys die by the thousand These role models let him keep his head up despite his environment, and because he had hope, he was able to be ambitious, ultimately leading to the development of the Jay Z character that this album has previously explored. We learned earlier that he created Hov as a means to succeed, and we now learn that Hov was able to exist in the first place largely due to the success of other black people. Inspiration was a key factor to his success. Verse 2 has Jay reflecting on his rags to riches story, touching on topics such as cocaine, murderers, areas of Marcy, and rappers that have passed (“rappers turned murals”) or influenced him. Jay sounds confident and relaxed simultaneously. Verse 2 is the definition of ‘cool, calm, and collected’. To end the song, The-Dream (who is way too underrated, just saying) sings a slower outro about remaining true to oneself. It’s a beautiful way to end such a well-constructed strong.

“Legacy” begins with a voice recording of his daughter asking what a will is. Jay uses this to explore how his wealth will benefit his kids and so on, and to explore how family history has impacted his life as well. The word ‘legacy’ refers to the wealth left in a will, as well as the aftermath of a predecessor (which can be from a will but not necessarily). The song explores both sides of the coin. The opening verse is more directed as an answer to his daughter’s initial question, talking about how TIDAL, Roc Nation, Ace of Spades, D’USSE, and such business ventures will go onto support his kids and relatives extensively. This side of the song already feels like a personal discussion just between Jay and his kids about what will follow after he dies. He ends verse 1 on his goal of creating generational wealth and even talks about how blacks are discriminated against in the tech industry. Verse 2 goes into even more personal territory about how Jay’s grandfather molested his aunt (of his father’s side). He claims he may one day forgive him for these actions, but that this negative situation had a silver lining for Jay. His grandfather was a pastor, and due to this, Jay wrote off Christianity (by assuming his grand father’s actions were reflective of the religion he promoted). As a result, he explored other religions. This allowed him a diverse understanding of various sets of beliefs, influencing him to be the critical thinking and understanding person he is today. “Legacy” shows how our actions can influence many generations, and through the most personal ways possible. For such heavy messages, Jay brings hope. Hope is communicated so well through the background horns and James Fauntleroy background singing too. It’s a brilliant closer to the album (if you exclude the bonus tracks). Fun fun fact about Legacy: This song samples Donny Hathaway’s 1971 song “Someday We’ll All Be Free, which was recorded by Jimmy Douglas. Fast forward decades and Douglas mixed all of 4:44.

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Just kidding! Who needs exclusivity?

“Adnis” is named after Adnis Reeves, Jay’s father (who passed away in ‘03). Adnis abandoned Jay when he was just a child (around 11 or 12). Reeves had spent less and less time at home, in hopes of finding his brother’s killer. Eventually he picked up drug addictions and left home entirely, never contacting Jay. They did meet up eventually, in 2002, and from that meeting he forgave Adnis for abandoning him. This allowed him to drop anger that he held onto for so many years and in place he was able to overcome love/trust issues. “Adnis” is ‘an open letter to [Jay’s] dad that [he] never wrote’. In a very slow flow over a very relaxed beat, Carter discusses how Reeves caused him lots of anger growing up. He mentions how he wrote about wanting to fight him, as a means of expressing that anger. He also recognized himself in stories of his father, and gave thought to how his grandfather’s malicious (previously discussed in “Legacy”) actions may have impacted Adnis. He mentions how before Adnis’ brother died, he was a good person and that he taught Jay valuable lessons. Including loving his step siblings no different than non-step siblings. It’s clear from the first verse that Adnis was a good father and a role model to Jay during some of his earliest formative years. Verse 2 mentions how despite being the youngest in his family, and despite his father’s leave, he eventually became the leader of his family. He mentions how his father reacted poorly to his uncle’s death, because according to their beliefs, his uncle was in a better place. Life was out of Adnis’ hands, instead there were bottles and needles. Despite his father becoming a terrible role model, Jay takes pride in him being a caring parent and husband. It’s a sweet note to end on after the previous more harder to swallow sorrows. Jay doesn’t shy away from talking about emotional subjects, I have no doubt this song was hard to make for him. And then to release such an open and personal song, exposing your thoughts and feelings to the public, couldn’t have been so easy. But I’m grateful he did, because “Adnis” is one of the best this year.

Blue’s Freestyle / We Family opens up with Jay’s daughter Blue spitting some straight bars about how she’s never seen a ceiling, seeking those who are innocent, and most interestingly about how everything is shakalaka. I can’t disagree with her there! It’s a cute little opener to a more light hearted sounding song. The beat has some hawaiian influence and Jay never goes to in depth, as each verse is only about 6 lines long (although there are 4 of them). In the short amount of time he does however cover a lot of ground, referencing illuminati claims, his thankfulness for his wife, celebration of heritage, black unity, drug dealing, his worldwide fans, Donald Trump (and his concerns about him), and his excessive travelling. Quite possibly the most amount of topics covered in one song when compared to any other one on the album. And in between each verse is a small hook claiming he’s part of a family. All of these topics, although seemingly unrelated, connect back to the construct of family. His illuminati controversy is because he has heritage (from family members) that roots back to the use of voodoo, he claims tauntingly. His wife is part of his family, and her heritage has played a role in shaping their kids and thus his family. Worldwide fans and black unity are alike in that they are united for a common goal that Jay is involved in, making them family. Drug dealing played a role in his success and as a result him meeting Beyonce, etc. Donald Trump concerns Jay because he cares for his fellow Americans, they’re a form of family as well. What makes this song great is the spider web Jay creates, connecting so many topics so quickly into a light sounding coherent song. And the intro is really all to perfect as an opener for it. Now we just gotta wait on Blue’s mixtape.

MaNyafaCedGod (which I’m sure Jay titled like a cap sensitive password in order to aggravate bloggers, anyone else think of that Spongebob meme?) is possibly the most underrated track on the album. It’s got a great beat change, soothing James Blake singing, and really dense honest lyrics. The first beat is real smooth with James on the keys. The first verse talks about Beyonce and Jay Z’s tour together and how it served as a means of healing for them. Among forms of coping, such as drinking, smoking, vacay, and sex. He touches on themes mentioned earlier in the album, such as the ‘what if’ thoughts of losing his kids and wife over stupid decisions he made. During the tour together Jay mentions how after he performed “Song Cry”, she’d perform “Resentment” and that this order of songs was a very real reflection of the emotions they were experiencing. Fauntleroy ends the 1st half of the song with a very poetic piece about changing out of the fear of loneliness, most likely to reflect Jay’s mindset during the aftermath of his cheating. Then the 2nd half begins with a more menacing anxious beat and Jay gives us the final verse on the album (if you’re counting bonus tracks, that is). He begins by mentioning how him and Bey would have to put on an act to look happy for media even though they were not, but that this served as an opportunity to force themselves to look for the good in life. From here, Jay continues in a more prideful and strong commentary in regards to his marriage. He says that they get each other, and will always have one and other through all. He compares their relationship to kintsukuroi, a Japanese method of fixing broken pottery by using gold as a bind, resulting in a more beautiful piece. In a similar sense, his marriage is better than ever despite the obstacles it faced. He believes that all these challenges have happened because of forces that are beyond his control, and that people must do their best to handle every situation. He gives us the advice his mother gave him, and that is to never go to bed mad at a loved one. Rather talk out the issues and get peace of mind, sound advice from a guy who’s been through so much.

And that is the final song on the project. To conclude, 4:44 is a brilliant album that dives deep into Jay’s most heart-wrenching thoughts and with them comes mature responses. No ID (with some help from James Fauntleroy and occasional sample recommendations from Hov) brings this out in Jay with soul sampling beats that come off nostalgic yet unique, like an updated version of The Blueprint. The verses,the beats, the vocals, the mixing, everything, is done in a way that translates into a feeling of being personal. It’s personal, it’s mature, it’s revealing, it’s emotional, it’s soothing, it’s therapeutic. It extensively covers so much ground in so little time. 4:44 is not only my favourite album of 2017, but one of Jay’s best albums yet.

Favorite Lyrics

I'm surprised you ain't auction off the casket

Caught In Their Eyes

Y'all on the 'Gram holdin' money to your ear

There's a disconnect, we don't call that money over here

The Story of OJ

Mama had four kids, but she's a lesbian

Had to pretend so long that she's a thespian

Had to hide in the closet, so she medicate

Society shame and the pain was too much to take

Cried tears of joy when you fell in love

Don't matter to me if it's a him or her

Smile

I seen the innocence leave your eyes

I still mourn this death and

I apologize for all the stillborns cause I wasn't present

Your body wouldn't accept it

4:44

Talking Points

Do you think Jay made the right call ending the album at Legacy?

Do you think Jay made the right decision not to have any radio singles for the album?

Where does this album compare among the rest of his discography?

Where does he go from here?

How do you feel about the mixing on some of Jay’s vocals?

Do you agree with Jay’s social commentary on songs like Family Feud and Story of OJ?

Thoughts on Jay's flows? Marcy Me is very different from some other songs because the other ones doesn't showcase flow as much

And favourite lyrics/songs/moments etc

(Edit - James Blake not Fauntleroy correction made)

Artist: JAY ZAlbum: 4:44Listen:Apple MusicTIDALBackgroundThroughout all of Jay Z’s past albums, we've come to understand and love this character known for his drug dealing, no-strings-attached sex, and excessive wealth (Jay built his Roc-A-Fella dynasty, became CEO of Def Jam Recordings, and achieved so much more due to his ability to hustle). This character being Jay Z, Hov, Jigga, but not Shawn Carter. Although there have certainly been instances of him being personal in the past (selling drugs to his mother, shooting his brother, feeling responsible for his nephews death, and so on), the large majority of his music has been braggadocio. Magna Carta Holy Grail, his previous album (from 2013), spent almost an hour telling us about his love for riches. Whether that be his collection of Basquiat paintings, designer clothes, or liquor preferences, by the end… well we got the point. Although it did touch on serious topics here and there, it was far from what a 40 year old father would sound fitting discussing. The party-friendly, trap-influenced, attempt at mainstream pandering was about as interesting as watching paint dry. And not even a Basquiat at that.Now fast forward to 2017. In the time span between 2013 and now, Solange (his sister-in-law), was caught hitting him in an elevator. Then his once close friend, Kanye West, ranted against him. And finally, his wife, Beyonce, made an entire album about him supposedly cheating on her. With controversy at a high surrounding Jay’s respectability, everyone was hungry to hear what he had to say. Curiosity began peaking when billboards and sign began appearing with nothing more that the the numbers “4:44”. It wasn’t much longer until more went up with a date (6.30.17) and a name, JAY Z. No one knew what to expect from a 2017 Jay album, but it’s safe to say he surpassed any and all that prefaced him.Review10 seconds into the appropriately titled first track, “Kill Jay Z”, we’re faced with these lines:Kill Jay Z, they'll never love youYou'll never be enough, let's just keep it real, Jay ZFuck Jay Z, I mean, you shot your own brotherFirst thing off the bat, Jay is dismembering his persona and taking a more self-aware approach. Eric Carter did survive the bullet, and Jay was only a child when this instance took place, but we can see his past mistakes still haunts him to this day. It appears as though he’s still learning how to live with his regrets. What makes “Kill Jay Z” so transparent is that in the process of examining his mistakes and how needs to change, he attacks the ego that has helped him to achieve so much. It’s only fitting he opens up so much on the opening track. Soon after these lines he goes onto discuss how he must change for his children, his tears, pain, regret, and how the mentality he once needed for hustling is no longer necessary. He touches on his relationship with longtime friend and collaborator, Kanye West, and ultimately we can see they’re not in a good place. He ends the song on a few lines referencing how he ‘almost went Eric Benét’, Eric had continually cheated on Halle Berry, giving us a quick glimpse at a very prevalent regret Jay currently has that we will learn most about on the album's title track. Jay’s reflective lyrics flow incredibly well over the soulful (yet modern) No ID production. No ID handles all the production on the album, and each beat is fantastic and perfect for Jay’s crafting. His drums, sample flips, everything, No ID is a legend and absolutely kills it.A smooth mix of piano and vocal sample (of the legendary Nina Simone) begin “The Story of O.J.”, before Jay comes in discussing the labels that have been attributed to black people in various places of society. The simply worded hook has so much to offer. It shows that people want to separate themselves from molds, but that despite this, due to experiences related to skin colour, there continues to be a common thread and underlying sense of unity. Jay takes 2 perspectives in order to urge people not to abandon recognition of their race, as being aware will help to bring change moreso. This negative viewpoint of his can be seen in this line (most importantly his reaction, listen to how he says it):O.J. like, "I'm not black, I'm O.J." …okayThe first verse has Jay speaking to what could represent his younger south and many black youth today. He encourages drug dealers to stop before it’s too late and invest their earnings in wise and legitimate ways. The 2nd (and final) verse continues to further discuss how Jay has spent money wisely and also where he wishes he had. Ultimately, Jay wants to help those less-advantaged black youth to become successful like he has, and to live a full life. The goal is to paint himself as a healthy role model but also one that can admit his mistakes, to promote the best choices he can. And for such a race related song, the Simone sample is perfect. “The Story of O.J.” is a great song to show Jay’s growth in maturity, and the beat is especially fitting to this growth.Jay’s first lines on “Smile” are continuing from where “The Story of O.J.” left off, further discussing his rags to riches and wealth. But it’s right after these first few lines Jay discusses a more personal insight towards his life, with these lines:Mama had four kids, but she's a lesbianHad to pretend so long that she's a thespianHad to hide in the closet, so she medicateSociety shame and the pain was too much to takeCried tears of joy when you fell in loveJay is going beyond talking about the challenges gays face and allowing us to see how they have impacted his mother. Society would’ve condemned her for being attracted to the same sex. So, she tried for many years to change and act as if she were straight. This moment serves as another great example of Jay’s personal growth, as he used to use homophobic insults in songs such as “Takeover” and “N- What, N- Who (Originator 99)”. Jay goes on to discuss being loyal, his wealth, overcoming obstacles, Funkmaster Flex, and uses his pen-free abilities to craft great wordplay that Hov is known for. He’s showing happiness for his success, for his mom, and for life, which is only right for a song titled “Smile”. ID did a great job with the catchy Stevie Wonder flip and the song ends with a beautiful poem from Gloria, Jay’s mother. She spreads a positive message that encourages people to be happy with who they are, which is very appropriate based on all she had gone through. I believe it’s the 2nd time she has appeared on a Jay album (first being on The Black Album), and is a great way to close a great song.“Caught In Their Eyes” has a more happy beat backing Jay. He uses his first verse to describe his struggles growing up and paints a portrait of those who oppose him. All while using some great wordplay. For instance:I seen eyes wide as they're about to shootYou can be a hairpin off and you can trigger your rootsOn the surface level he’s describing the ways people lived and how they acted, and beyond that is another entendre about Questlove and the legendary Roots. Another line I really like is:Y'all body language is all remedialHow could you see the difference between you and I?The first meaning being the literal, that you can’t fathom how many leagues Hov is above you. But also it sounds like the literal letters ‘U’ and ‘I’. Then on top of that, the previous line ended on ‘remedial’, so you expect him to end the following line in the same scheme. This is no mistake, as ‘me and you’ could work easily in ‘you and I’’s place. His change of lyrics makes the words stand out more and is proper English, which could be a play on ‘language’ in ‘body language’. The whole first verse also has a theme of the human body throughout it, body language, hair, his cheek, and at least 3 references to eyes. It’s a short but very interesting and dense verse. Following it, Frank Ocean lends a small and curious hook, touching on the topic of Solipsism and determining what’s real. He claims he’s ready for Earth. Now I’m not certain of what the exact meaning of the hook is and I don’t want to take too big of stretches, but it’s possible it’s too show that the speaker of the song is more real (in a sense of loyalty and principles) than everyone. So much so that he feels as though everything else is literally fiction. Jay uses the 2nd verse to discuss how Londell McMillan (whom he names specifically) screwed over both Jay and Prince’s wished in regards to Prince’s music on streaming services. Despite Prince giving TIDAL (and only TIDAL) permission to use his music, McMillan sued Jay after Prince died in order to gain full control of Prince’s music. He describes the greed that exists in the record industry and ends the verse continuing on the theme of those who oppose him, referencing his ending friendship with Kanye. All of this sounds great over the groovy Nina Simone-sampled beat. I also really like the voice effects on Frank and Jay, it gives a really interesting texture to the song that makes the incredibly smooth beginning of the next track contrast beautifully.“4:44”, the title track to the album, is in my opinion the most important song to the album. Honestly, I hesitated doing a review on this album because doing this song justice is no easy task. It’s grown to be one of my favourite Jay tracks and my song of the year. But nonetheless I will try!Do I find it so hardWhen I know in my heartI'm letting you down every dayLetting you down every dayWhy do I keep on running away?No ID opens the song with an incredibly introspective piece of foreshadowing. From this 24 second intro, a red carpet is rolled out for Jay to give us opening lines that speak to us. And he does so with:Look, I apologize, often womanizeTook for my child to be born, see through a woman's eyesAfter years of tracks like Big Pimpin, Girls Girls Girls, Ain’t No N-, On To The Next One, 2 Many Hoes… well you get the idea, he opens up this track with lines that directly oppose and regret such a mindset (and lifestyle). 2017 is the year we saw Jay Z the feminist (at least on this song), and I for one love the growth. Jay not only regrets womanizing, but regrets how he treated his wife Beyonce (asking her not to embarrass him, for instance). He mentions begs Beyonce to pick up the phone and the vocal effect on his voice almost reminds me of a phone call, not sure if that was an intentional connection or not (but it certainly enhances my enjoyment regardless). He goes on to describe Beyonce maturing faster than him, dealing with multiple stillborns (when Jay performed this song live on SNL he actually didn’t say ‘stillborn’ because of the pain), treating her poorly in public, his terrible attempts at being a respectable husband (“I suck at love, I think I need a do-over”), and most notably, his unfaithfulness. As Jay and Beyonce grew apart and desolate from the stillborns, he went to find affection through cheating (I read this in a Genius annotation and haven't been able to verify the timeline so take with a grain of salt). This ripped them further apart, and in verse 3 he describes how a threesome resulted in him almost losing his family (also worth noting it lead to Beyonce’s album Lemonade). He goes a step further in his regret to consider how his children will react to these things (seeing the falsehoods in his father as a hero), once they inevitably do through others via the internet or write-ups (hopefully not this one!). As the song climaxes to this realization, the sample hits harder than ever with the words “I’m never gonna treat you like I should”. The roaring beat and verses make for a truly moving dynamic. Raw emotion is dripping in every aspect here. No I.D. brought out the most regretful and personal side of Shawn Carter. The soulful production, emotional vocals, and brutally honest lyrics makes this song not only one of Jay's best, but most wise. The moment it begins, it demands your attention. You don't have to worry about any fools skimming through this one, Jay.“Family Feud” begins with Beyonce, which is perfect for the next song on the album. No ID sampled her vocals throughout the beat and her singing with Jay shows us there is always hope (especially after the previous song). Showing hope for relationships is a vital theme to the song, which we’ll see soon. Jay is back to a more confident approach in offering his wisdom. He spends his first verse talking about being successful, exploring religion, and sends a subliminal shot at Drake (“All this old talk left me confused / You'd rather be old rich me or new you?”). He also criticizes certain fans of old school hip hop for their judgements of new school hip hop fashion. Throughout the song wealth is discussed, but now strictly in braggadocio. He want’s to support fellow black peoples in their endeavours, in order to help revolt against black people being less-advantaged as a result of skin colour. This can be shown with:I'll be damned if I drink some Belvedere while Puff got CÎROCAnd throughout the song he says:Nobody wins when the family feudsIn this case, family is referring to fellow black people. He advises unity and support will help communities, and bring more equality to society. In his Rap Radar interview, he mentions how as you go up in the world of success, there are less and less blacks. He uses his wealth as a goal for others to reach and encourages they do so through helping one and other. The song is both critical of older and newer generations with lines like:Al Sharpton in the mirror takin' selfiesHow is him or Pill Cosby s'posed to help me?Old n***** never accepted meAndNew n***** is the reason I stopped drinkin' Dos EquisThis attempts to display the different mentalities. He continually mentions that 2 billions is better than 1, representing new and old generations (and his marriage as well). The message is this: put aside your differences and work as a team, because nobody wins when the family feuds.For the past 24 minutes and 1 seconds, we have seen “Kill Jay Z” in place, essentially abandoning the persona that lead to his success. But there is a change of pace during the duration of “Bam” that makes it so exciting. The first words from Jay (and a reference to “Public Service Announcement”, from TBA) tell you exactly what I mean:Fuck all this pretty Shawn Carter shit nigga, HOVThe aggressive nature of the line and Damian Marley’s chorus set the song up for Jay to come through to set records straight, and that he does. Dehaven was a drug dealer Jay worked with back in his hustling pre-music days. On social media, Dehaven has routinely claimed Jay never really did much hustling and was a mere runner. Hov spends part of his first verse shooting this down, claiming if he was only a runner he wouldn’t had’ve became the success he is now (as his music and clothing ventures cost a lot to begin). He goes onto explains that his nice side, Shawn, used to be in ‘flight mode’, as he was completely in the Jay Z mindset. This was the side of him that got him to be so wealthy (and continues to push him). Verse 2 is only 12 bars long, but is coated with references and entendres. He uses Rae Sremmurd, Bobby Shmurda, Nat Turner, Kanye, Black Sheep, and even the fact that he skips leg day, all to brag to us in the most clever ways. The mention of Rae and Bobby also could tie back to “Family Feud”, as it’s touching on the theme of newschool rappers. The hard hitting street reggae provide Jay with the perfect backdrop for him to use his ego for good and let people know he’s not fabricated.The title of “Moonlight” is a reference to the film by the same name. It famously was confused with La La Land at the most recent Academy Awards, which Jay references in the hook of “Moonlight”. What makes the film Moonlight noteworthy is that it is the first film to win a Grammy for Best Picture that features an all black class, as well as the first LGBT movie to do the same. Moonlight is special because it excels without being like every other popular movie. The song “Moonlight” is asking rappers to apply this same principle to their artistry, as many popular rap acts aren’t experimenting or pushing the boundaries creativity-wise. Jay isn’t impressed:Y'all got the same fuckin' flowsI don't know who is whoJay pokes fun at the skrrt adlib (used by popular trap acts), how artists use the internet to snitch on themselves (for image), and how many of them not only make the same music, but share the same image. It particularly annoys Jay at the ego many of these artists share:Stop walkin' around like y'all made Thriller, huh?Jay also references how many rappers are signing to their first label offers, and specifically mentions how Lauryn Hill struggled with labels. This is a fitting choice of reference as the song samples Fu-Gee-La. Which gives the chorus’s use of La La Land 3 meanings:reference to film, reference to sample, and reference to artists being ignorant about their quality of music. Jay’s career proves you can make yourself successful without a label’s early on help, whilst innovating and making non formulaic music. This song alone pushes boundaries, in topics for sure, but instrumentally the beat is constantly changing and adjusting (which can be said for 4:44’s production as a whole, in fact). Even his flow is unique, in how he sways his words without ever sticking to one rhythm. He also lived the criminal life many artists use for their image. This gives his words on these topics more respect than otherwise. The song ends criticizing labels for their treatment of artists, mentioning specific CEO’s, in hopes this will sway young artists. Chance, Nas, Lupe, and tons more in the rap industry alone have contributed to this argument all the same. Time will tell if their message and “Moonlight”’s will have an influence or not. Hopefully a healthy change will be made.Marcy Me is a song made to reflect on his past by tracing out homages to his influences and heroes. Before I break down his lyrics, I gotta say Jay’s flow is as good as it ever has been and the piano/drums/vocal-sample/etc work so well with it. This sample is so obscure on some Madlib type style too (“Todo o mundo e ninguém” By Quarteto 1111, from 1970, if anyone’s curious). Onto the rest of the song! The title alone pays respect to the legendary Marvin Gaye and his track Mercy Me. Then the intro is a Biggie quotation that ends before bragging about sex, which is appropriate for the album and it’s apologetic tones. From there, we see mentions of Jam Master Jay (of Run-DMC, RIP), Dennis Rodman, Michael Jordan, Tichina Arnold (an actress on Martin), Denzel Washington, Slick Rick, and Lisa Bonet. And that’s just within the 1st verse. What’s significant about the nostalgia-riddled details is that each of them helped give a young Shawn hope in Marcy, Brooklyn. He describes marcy with:I'm from Marcy Houses, where the boys die by the thousand These role models let him keep his head up despite his environment, and because he had hope, he was able to be ambitious, ultimately leading to the development of the Jay Z character that this album has previously explored. We learned earlier that he created Hov as a means to succeed, and we now learn that Hov was able to exist in the first place largely due to the success of other black people. Inspiration was a key factor to his success. Verse 2 has Jay reflecting on his rags to riches story, touching on topics such as cocaine, murderers, areas of Marcy, and rappers that have passed (“rappers turned murals”) or influenced him. Jay sounds confident and relaxed simultaneously. Verse 2 is the definition of ‘cool, calm, and collected’. To end the song, The-Dream (who is way too underrated, just saying) sings a slower outro about remaining true to oneself. It’s a beautiful way to end such a well-constructed strong.“Legacy” begins with a voice recording of his daughter asking what a will is. Jay uses this to explore how his wealth will benefit his kids and so on, and to explore how family history has impacted his life as well. The word ‘legacy’ refers to the wealth left in a will, as well as the aftermath of a predecessor (which can be from a will but not necessarily). The song explores both sides of the coin. The opening verse is more directed as an answer to his daughter’s initial question, talking about how TIDAL, Roc Nation, Ace of Spades, D’USSE, and such business ventures will go onto support his kids and relatives extensively. This side of the song already feels like a personal discussion just between Jay and his kids about what will follow after he dies. He ends verse 1 on his goal of creating generational wealth and even talks about how blacks are discriminated against in the tech industry. Verse 2 goes into even more personal territory about how Jay’s grandfather molested his aunt (of his father’s side). He claims he may one day forgive him for these actions, but that this negative situation had a silver lining for Jay. His grandfather was a pastor, and due to this, Jay wrote off Christianity (by assuming his grand father’s actions were reflective of the religion he promoted). As a result, he explored other religions. This allowed him a diverse understanding of various sets of beliefs, influencing him to be the critical thinking and understanding person he is today. “Legacy” shows how our actions can influence many generations, and through the most personal ways possible. For such heavy messages, Jay brings hope. Hope is communicated so well through the background horns and James Fauntleroy background singing too. It’s a brilliant closer to the album (if you exclude the bonus tracks). Fun fun fact about Legacy: This song samples Donny Hathaway’s 1971 song “Someday We’ll All Be Free, which was recorded by Jimmy Douglas. Fast forward decades and Douglas mixed all of 4:44.In order to see the reviews of the bonus tracks you must sign up with TIDALJust kidding! Who needs exclusivity?“Adnis” is named after Adnis Reeves, Jay’s father (who passed away in ‘03). Adnis abandoned Jay when he was just a child (around 11 or 12). Reeves had spent less and less time at home, in hopes of finding his brother’s killer. Eventually he picked up drug addictions and left home entirely, never contacting Jay. They did meet up eventually, in 2002, and from that meeting he forgave Adnis for abandoning him. This allowed him to drop anger that he held onto for so many years and in place he was able to overcome love/trust issues. “Adnis” is ‘an open letter to [Jay’s] dad that [he] never wrote’. In a very slow flow over a very relaxed beat, Carter discusses how Reeves caused him lots of anger growing up. He mentions how he wrote about wanting to fight him, as a means of expressing that anger. He also recognized himself in stories of his father, and gave thought to how his grandfather’s malicious (previously discussed in “Legacy”) actions may have impacted Adnis. He mentions how before Adnis’ brother died, he was a good person and that he taught Jay valuable lessons. Including loving his step siblings no different than non-step siblings. It’s clear from the first verse that Adnis was a good father and a role model to Jay during some of his earliest formative years. Verse 2 mentions how despite being the youngest in his family, and despite his father’s leave, he eventually became the leader of his family. He mentions how his father reacted poorly to his uncle’s death, because according to their beliefs, his uncle was in a better place. Life was out of Adnis’ hands, instead there were bottles and needles. Despite his father becoming a terrible role model, Jay takes pride in him being a caring parent and husband. It’s a sweet note to end on after the previous more harder to swallow sorrows. Jay doesn’t shy away from talking about emotional subjects, I have no doubt this song was hard to make for him. And then to release such an open and personal song, exposing your thoughts and feelings to the public, couldn’t have been so easy. But I’m grateful he did, because “Adnis” is one of the best this year.Blue’s Freestyle / We Family opens up with Jay’s daughter Blue spitting some straight bars about how she’s never seen a ceiling, seeking those who are innocent, and most interestingly about how everything is shakalaka. I can’t disagree with her there! It’s a cute little opener to a more light hearted sounding song. The beat has some hawaiian influence and Jay never goes to in depth, as each verse is only about 6 lines long (although there are 4 of them). In the short amount of time he does however cover a lot of ground, referencing illuminati claims, his thankfulness for his wife, celebration of heritage, black unity, drug dealing, his worldwide fans, Donald Trump (and his concerns about him), and his excessive travelling. Quite possibly the most amount of topics covered in one song when compared to any other one on the album. And in between each verse is a small hook claiming he’s part of a family. All of these topics, although seemingly unrelated, connect back to the construct of family. His illuminati controversy is because he has heritage (from family members) that roots back to the use of voodoo, he claims tauntingly. His wife is part of his family, and her heritage has played a role in shaping their kids and thus his family. Worldwide fans and black unity are alike in that they are united for a common goal that Jay is involved in, making them family. Drug dealing played a role in his success and as a result him meeting Beyonce, etc. Donald Trump concerns Jay because he cares for his fellow Americans, they’re a form of family as well. What makes this song great is the spider web Jay creates, connecting so many topics so quickly into a light sounding coherent song. And the intro is really all to perfect as an opener for it. Now we just gotta wait on Blue’s mixtape.MaNyafaCedGod (which I’m sure Jay titled like a cap sensitive password in order to aggravate bloggers, anyone else think of that Spongebob meme?) is possibly the most underrated track on the album. It’s got a great beat change, soothing James Blake singing, and really dense honest lyrics. The first beat is real smooth with James on the keys. The first verse talks about Beyonce and Jay Z’s tour together and how it served as a means of healing for them. Among forms of coping, such as drinking, smoking, vacay, and sex. He touches on themes mentioned earlier in the album, such as the ‘what if’ thoughts of losing his kids and wife over stupid decisions he made. During the tour together Jay mentions how after he performed “Song Cry”, she’d perform “Resentment” and that this order of songs was a very real reflection of the emotions they were experiencing. Fauntleroy ends the 1st half of the song with a very poetic piece about changing out of the fear of loneliness, most likely to reflect Jay’s mindset during the aftermath of his cheating. Then the 2nd half begins with a more menacing anxious beat and Jay gives us the final verse on the album (if you’re counting bonus tracks, that is). He begins by mentioning how him and Bey would have to put on an act to look happy for media even though they were not, but that this served as an opportunity to force themselves to look for the good in life. From here, Jay continues in a more prideful and strong commentary in regards to his marriage. He says that they get each other, and will always have one and other through all. He compares their relationship to kintsukuroi, a Japanese method of fixing broken pottery by using gold as a bind, resulting in a more beautiful piece. In a similar sense, his marriage is better than ever despite the obstacles it faced. He believes that all these challenges have happened because of forces that are beyond his control, and that people must do their best to handle every situation. He gives us the advice his mother gave him, and that is to never go to bed mad at a loved one. Rather talk out the issues and get peace of mind, sound advice from a guy who’s been through so much.And that is the final song on the project. To conclude, 4:44 is a brilliant album that dives deep into Jay’s most heart-wrenching thoughts and with them comes mature responses. No ID (with some help from James Fauntleroy and occasional sample recommendations from Hov) brings this out in Jay with soul sampling beats that come off nostalgic yet unique, like an updated version of The Blueprint. The verses,the beats, the vocals, the mixing, everything, is done in a way that translates into a feeling of being personal. It’s personal, it’s mature, it’s revealing, it’s emotional, it’s soothing, it’s therapeutic. It extensively covers so much ground in so little time. 4:44 is not only my favourite album of 2017, but one of Jay’s best albums yet.Favorite LyricsI'm surprised you ain't auction off the casketCaught In Their EyesY'all on the 'Gram holdin' money to your earThere's a disconnect, we don't call that money over hereThe Story of OJMama had four kids, but she's a lesbianHad to pretend so long that she's a thespianHad to hide in the closet, so she medicateSociety shame and the pain was too much to takeCried tears of joy when you fell in loveDon't matter to me if it's a him or herSmileI seen the innocence leave your eyesI still mourn this death andI apologize for all the stillborns cause I wasn't presentYour body wouldn't accept it4:44Talking PointsDo you think Jay made the right call ending the album at Legacy?Do you think Jay made the right decision not to have any radio singles for the album?Where does this album compare among the rest of his discography?Where does he go from here?How do you feel about the mixing on some of Jay’s vocals?Do you agree with Jay’s social commentary on songs like Family Feud and Story of OJ?Thoughts on Jay's flows? Marcy Me is very different from some other songs because the other ones doesn't showcase flow as muchAnd favourite lyrics/songs/moments etc(Edit - James Blake not Fauntleroy correction made)

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