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asirensrage · 1 year

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Catalyst - Uzui Tengen & Wives One Shot

Title: Catalyst

Rating: M

Pairing: Reader/Makio/Hinatsuru/Suma/Tengen

Fandom: Demon Slayer

Warnings: Swearing. Sex. Polygamous relationships. F/F, M/F, mention of M/F/F/F/F. Mention of you being from the future. Un-betad.

Summary: You meet Makio first...

Notes: This fic possessed me. I don't entirely know what happened but here it is. I don't even usually like writing in 2nd person, but like I said, it possessed me. I just had the line "you meet Makio first" in my head and this is what happened. I wrote it in the space of 2-3 hours. This is my first time writing Tengen and his wives (aside from my Rengoku/OC fic which isn't posted). Reader is unnamed and undescribed but references to being female. Enjoy.

You meet Makio first.

It happens by accident. You end up standing next to each other as you wait for your turn to pay for the food. Her outfit catches your attention, not because it’s low cut and short, but because it reminds you of the outfits you’re used to back home…in your own time. You’ve been blending in as best you can but the outfits are so restrictive in comparison.

“Do you mind if I ask where you got your outfit? Who designed it?”

She turns to you in surprise. “My outfit? Why?”

“I want one.”

The request turns into her admitting that she makes the outfits with her wives but she’s willing to ask them if they’d help make you one. Providing you pay, of course.

“Of course,” you agree.

Meeting up again is easy, as well as providing the measurements and down payment you give. If you’re honest, you haven’t had a lot of luck since arriving, but your history in retail gives you a great customer service voice and the patience required not to snap at belligerent clients. It gets you a job as a server which pays decently enough that you can afford it.

The longer you talk, the more you’re amused at the woman. She’s a bit brash and unwilling to deal with stupidity, but she’s also a huge dork. It’s hilarious.

The two of you often find yourself sitting on a hill in the area, enjoying the view. Makio likes to talk about her family. It’s nice, letting yourself pretend that everything’s okay. You’re used to the time period now, but you haven’t really let yourself make any friends, assuming you’ll get back. It’s been a year though and prior to meeting Makio, you didn’t really spend any time with anyone.

She’s not around a lot, her work taking her away from the area often, but she promises to come back with the outfit the next time you see each other.

The second one you meet is Hinatsuru.

“It’s wonderful to meet you,” Hinatsuru says with a smile. “Makio has been talking about you often. We hope you like the outfit.” She offers the bundle she’s holding.

“Thank you,” you smile at her. It’s cute watching her blush.

“Try it on,” Makio orders. You raise your eyebrows at her until she offers a please. “We want to make sure it fits.”

“Sure,” you say. “Mind waiting?”

“Not at all,” Hinatsuru says.

You invite them into your home, the small apartment-style area that you rent. It takes most of your wages but the woman who acts as your landlord is nice enough and you don’t have to worry about people breaking in. Makio looks unimpressed at the space but she doesn’t say anything once Hinatsuru nudges her. You don’t care. You’ve lived in better but you’ve also lived in worse. You’ll take what you can get.

You change quickly and the weight of the outfit is strange after so long in standard kimonos and yukatas, but it’s nice. You feel like you can move again. You come out, unashamed in the sudden change of the amount of skin you’re showing. It’s freeing.

The women waiting for you look surprised as you grin at them.

“Well? What do you think?” The dress is a cobalt blue with a black obi around your waist. There are slits up the sides with a short skirt that ends above your knees.

“You look great!” Makio says. “Not as good as us though,” she adds, teasingly. You roll your eyes, used to her antics.

“It suits you,” Hinatsuru says softly, her gaze darting between the two of you.

“Thank you!” You grin at her before moving to grab the rest of the payment that you owe them. “Here. Do you think I’d be able to order more?”

“Are you sure?” Hinatsuru asks. “It is…revealing for the average citizen. We don’t want you to get any trouble.”

“Don’t worry,” you assure, thinking of your origins. “I’m anything but average.”

You meet Suma next. She follows the other two, bouncing slightly before darting past them to greet you.

“It’s you! I finally get to meet you!”

You blink in surprise at the enthusiasm as she clasps your hands in hers. She grins widely. “Makio’s been keeping you a secret.”

“No, I haven’t!” Makio yells, reaching to drag Suma back away from you. You try not to smile as they argue, or more so, as Makio argues and Suma reacts dramatically. Hinatsuru sighs but looks at them fondly before she heads towards you.

“We’re so glad to see you again,” she says.

“Me too,” you agree. “I missed your company.”

She smiles at you, gaze softening slightly before the two of you are overrun by Makio and Suma, both demanding your attention.

The longer you spend with these women, the more you understand how well they fit. They balance each other perfectly in a lot of ways and despite the way they like to argue, you can tell that they care about each other deeply. It’s sweet and a little heartbreaking. Not that you’re in love with any of them, but it’s a reminder of what you don’t have. You doubt that anyone here would want to marry you, especially since you don’t have relatable experiences. It’s fine. You can deal with it until you decide to shove the truth about yourself down so deep that no one will ever dig it out.

You still spend the most time with Makio. Mainly out of habit more than anything. You think she might be your best friend but you’re not entirely sure you want to tell her that. It feels like there’s something waiting for you on the horizon and you’re not sure if it's impending doom or something great. Probably doom, knowing your luck. Maybe you’ll just wake up back home.

“Are you okay?” Suma asks. The four of you are huddled in your small living area, snacks and tea laid out between you.

“We should have just taken you home,” Makio grumbles. You know she’s just uncomfortable in the enclosed space but you like it. You feel safer knowing there are not a lot of areas for someone to hide in.

“I’m fine,” you assure them. “Just a little homesick.” You catch the look they all give each other and wait, knowing there’s some question they want to ask. Can they read you as easily as you seem to be able to read them?

“Oh,” Hinatsuru says softly. “Can you not go visit?”

You give her a small smile. “No. There’s…there’s no way,” you pause and correct yourself. “There’s no one left.”

Suma looks like she’s going to cry again and you wave her off. “It’s fine. I’m used to it now. Besides, it’s not like I don’t have friends, right? I have all of you now.”

“Of course you have us!” Makio says, looking fierce in her outburst. “We’ll be your family, okay?”

You laugh slightly at the determination and that way Suma eagerly nods in agreement. “Thanks. I’d like that.”

Things change after that.

You’re not sure what it was, the reveal that you have no one else in this world or the fact that they’ve decided to be your family, but things change. They’re around more often, bringing small trinkets from their travels back to you that they insist improve your living space. They also touch you more. Not that they didn’t before, but it goes beyond the casual brush of skin as you sit next to each other or a hug goodbye. Hina, as she asks you to call her, enjoys playing with your hair of all things. Makio occasionally tries to feed you, offering bites from her own food or holding up a treat for you to try. Suma no longer has any concept of personal space, enjoying lounging herself across you and pressing her cold feet into your shins.

It’s funny because you never considered yourself touch starved before but now? Now you think if they ever stop, you’ll miss it. Your life slowly adjusts to consist mainly of serving customers and the Uzui women.

Makio, as every time before, is the first. This time to kiss you.

You’re stunned as she pulls back and you can see the concern in her features that maybe she made a mistake.

“I’m sorry,” she says. “I thought–”

You stare at her for a moment before you grin at the expression on her face. “No,” you say, “I just…I’ve never kissed another woman before.”

“Did you not like it?” she asks. You know that if you tell her you didn’t, she’ll stop. Things will go back to the way they were.

“It’s not that,” you admit. “You’re married.”

She grins at you. “I know,” she agrees. “But all three of us have been talking about wanting more with you. We just weren’t sure what you want.”

“Aren’t there four of you?”

She nods enthusiastically. “Lord Tengen knows,” she says. “He’s waiting.”

For what? You want to ask but you don’t, because Makio moves forward again and you find yourself distracted by the feeling of her lips on yours. It’s different from the guys you’ve made out with. Not necessarily better or worse, just different. Turns out that Makio is a great kisser and you’re not as straight as you originally thought you were. Huh. Who knew?

Once that barrier is breached, the others are not long to follow. You feel a bit guilty to be making out with each of these women knowing that there’s a husband somewhere waiting for them, but this isn’t the first polygamous relationship you’ve heard of, especially since ethical non-monogamy seemed to be everywhere in the online dating arena, so you know that communication is the most important thing in a healthy relationship. You also have no doubts, based on what you know of these women, that one of them has told their husband everything. You’re just wondering when he’s going to make himself known.

Speak of the devil and he’ll appear. Isn’t that the saying?

You meet Tengen by accident. Well, probably not by accident since Makio said he was waiting and it was bound to happen, but you didn’t expect it like this.

You were in the market on your day off, wandering from stall to stall in one of the outfits that Makio, Hina and Suma made. They had worried about you finding yourself in trouble due to the cut of it. Instead, trouble found you. The strange man propositions you on the street. You shoot him down. It’s not the first time you’ve had to do so to such a request and it likely won't be the last. No big deal. You’re used to it.

Until he touches you.

The man grabs you by the wrist, stopping you from moving on. Unfortunately for him, you come from an era of women’s rights, self-defence and a love of action movies. You shove your fingers into his throat before anyone else can step in. He recoils, coughing loudly, and let's go. You straighten your outfit and prepare to move on only to stop as someone appears between you and the man.

“Now that’s a flashy response!”

The man in front of you is huge. You’ve seen a lot of men in your life but you’re beginning to wonder if any of them ever compared to this one. His arms look like the size of your head. Your mouth drops open as you register the jewels on his headband and the swords at his back. You’ve heard every description of the man possible but you have never expected him to look like…this.

He glances over his shoulder and you have to actually move to peek around him to see the man who assaulted you being led off by some other. Tengen turns back to look at you and you watch as his gaze overtly looks over you. There is nothing subtle about this man. At least, not when he doesn’t want to be.

“So you’re the one monopolizing my wives.”

“Maybe,” you admit. There’s no reason to lie. “They’re good people.”

“They are,” he agrees. “They’ve spoken highly of you.”

“Not as much as they’ve said about you, I’m sure.”

He grins at that. “May I join you?”

“Knock yourself out,” you say, nodding. He looks slightly confused before he grins as he realizes you’re saying yes.

Tengen is not as patient as his wives.

Which is funny because you never considered any of them to be patient once you got to know them. Maybe Hina, but that’s only in comparison to the others. He’s also straightforward. You like that.

“You’re not only attracted to women,” he points out once he catches you staring at him again. Honestly, you’re just amazed at how small you feel next to the man. That’s never happened before.

“Nope,” you agree. “Though, to be fair, it might only be them. I don’t know. I’ve never considered it before.”

He seems pleased at the compliment to his wives and doesn’t hide the way he appreciates you as well. He walks you home and before he leaves, he promises to return and kisses you hard. It’s easy to see how he’s kept the three of them if this is how he kisses.

You don’t see them during the days that Tengen is around. You suspect that there’s more going on, but you’re willing to let it play out. Getting to know him is like adding another piece to a puzzle. It all starts to make sense and you can understand how the dynamics fit. The four of them are practically a well-oiled, well-loved, machine and while you’re not entirely sure what their purpose is for you, you’re going to enjoy it. After all, who knows if you’re really going to stay? Even if it’s been almost two years.

Makio is not the first this time.

It’s Hina who proposes, even though they’re all there. You sit there, surprised at the offer. You hadn’t expected this. Even when they said they’d be your family, all those ages ago, you didn’t think they meant literally.

“I can’t,” you admit, wincing as you watch Makio’s expression fade into blankness and Suma starts to cry.

“Why?” she wails, reaching out to you.

You consider it. It’s not that you don’t want to. You love them, each and every one. How could you not? At least, you’re sure that you do. You haven’t exactly tested things out completely, always stopping before it led to full-out sex because you had been unsure of their marriage, but the desire was there.

“I don’t know if I’m here to stay,” you try to explain. “For good.”

“What do you mean?” Tengen asks. “Where would you go?”

“Back to the future?”

They stare at you for a moment, the words processing before Tengen leans back and laughs.

“I knew it!” He says, looking at you with a grin. “I knew you were flashier than you let on! Your score is different from everyone else's!”

“My score?” You don’t remember telling any of them how many people you’ve slept with….

He explains…and so do you.

Things finally start to make sense. They never really explained what they did, at least not in detail besides trying to ensure you stayed indoors at night. The truth of their occupation, and their history, is the final puzzle piece. The truth of you clears up the confusion of all the strange little things that you do that don’t really make sense…but are also the same things that drew them all in. You all agree to give it some time, to think about it.

It takes a day before Tengen is back with advice.

“Say yes,” he says, hand on the small of your back as he pulls you towards him. “Even if the worst should happen and you leave, shouldn’t we enjoy the time we have? Marry us.”

“Let me think about it,” you ask, kissing him softly.

Suma is the next.

“Please say yes,” she begs. “Please! We need you!”

You smile in response. “Let me think about it,” you ask again before kissing her this time. She melts into it and you try not to let it sway you.

Hina comes about a week later.

“Please join us,” she asks, holding your hand in hers. “We miss you. Let us take care of you and you take care of us.”

“I miss you too,” you admit. “All of you. But are you sure?”

She kisses you. “We are. Are you?”

Makio is last. Her arms are crossed as you come across her waiting for you outside your work.

“You’re being stupid,” she says as soon as she sees you.

“Nice to see you too.”

“Why are you doing this to us?”

“What? Making you wait?”

“Yes!” The brashness fades as she looks at you. “Don’t you want us?”

You sigh. “Of course I do.”

“Then marry us!”

“One more day,” you say. “Give me one more day, okay? I’ll come to you.”

You’ve known your answer since Tengen spoke to you. He’s right. Why should you deny yourself the chance of enjoying your life here, even if it might not be forever? Really, what is? If they want you, they can have you.

It’s not hard to find their home despite the fact that you’ve never been there. The place is beautiful and a little out of the way. It suits them though you wonder if they’d like chimes. Wooden chimes would suit the place but it might be a bother considering Tengen’s hearing.

The door opens before you even get to it and Suma comes running, nearly tackling you on the path.

“You came!”

You laugh as you hold her, miraculously steadying the both of you. It doesn’t last long as soon as Makio joins in. The three of you end up sprawled on the path and your face is covered in kisses despite the fact you still haven’t given an answer. You don’t mind. You know your answer and kiss them both back.

“Alright,” you hear Tengen say. “Get up, you three.” Hina giggles as you all try to untangle yourselves. It takes a couple of tries before Tengen eventually steps in and lifts Suma off of you, listening to her protest. Makio stands up next and offers you her hand.

You hold it, reaching out for Hina’s before you follow Tengen inside, trying not to laugh at Suma’s expression as she’s carried over his shoulder.

You say yes. Tengen looks like he knew you would and the women are ecstatic. So are you. You’ve never felt as loved or as wanted as you do at that moment, as they all celebrate the fact that you’re joining them and going to become one of their wives. Even if you disappeared in this moment, you’d remember it forever.

Luckily, that doesn’t happen.

What does happen is that someone opens some sake and the night ends with you on your back and someone’s face between your legs. They know you’re inexperienced but the four of them aren’t. It’s not hard to listen to their cues, let them guide you and relish in the way you can help make them break.

You learn new ways to use your tongue, the sweet spots that make each of them clutch you tighter and beg, and you learn how many times you’re capable of orgasming. It’s way more than you ever expected and you might have blacked out at some point. You come to curled up next to Suma while Hina’s head rests on your stomach. You’re all covered in sweat and the room stinks of sex. You can hear them though. The soft praises of Tengen and the way Makio cries out.

“You did this,” he tells her. “You completed us.”

“Thank you,” she cries out, clutching at his arm as he thrusts up into her. “For letting me–” She’s facing the rest of you. Both of them are and you catch Tengen’s eyes as he realizes you’re awake.

“My beautiful wives,” he says, kissing her neck. “You’re so good to me. So good to all of us. How could I resist?”

Suma shifts closer, throwing an arm around you as she buries her face against your skin. Indeed, you think, closing your eyes and drifting back to sleep even with the sounds of them fucking. How could you resist?

taglist: @raith-way @chrissymunson @veetlegeuse @chickensarentcheap @residentdormouse

#fic: catalyst #uzui tengen x reader #uzui tengen x makio x suma x hina x reader #makio x reader #suma x reader #hinatsuru x reader #tengen x wives x reader #demon slayer oneshot #tengen x reader #tengen x you #demon slayer

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tillystealeaves · 9 months

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Y’all. On this day in history (1984), Metallica’s “Ride the Lightning” was released.

I… had some Eddie feels about it. I wrote this in an hour, so… hope y’all like it!

**************

July 27th, 1984

Eight weeks after Eddie Munson was supposed to graduate high school. He was supposed to have marched onto the stage, flipped off the faculty that hated him, and walked away- away from the school and the town and… away.

Eddie loved his Uncle Wayne and he knew that the older man never begrudged the fact that he’d had to make space in his small home and his quiet life for his nephew. But it was time, he knew. Time to give Wayne his space back. Time to go to a place where his surname didn’t make him universally disliked. A place where he wasn’t the biggest Freak most people had ever seen. A place where it was more understood and accepted that some people were different, were “freaks”, were metalheads… were queer.

He’d thought about Chicago a lot, dreaming of their music scene and their Pride Parades that had been held since 1970. But in the end, he’d settled on Indianapolis. Smaller, so Eddie wouldn’t get too overwhelmed with the jump from a tiny town. Closer, too, so he could visit Wayne more often.

But now none of that was happening, because Eddie had gone and failed high school. He was stuck in this awful town and Wayne was stuck with a kid he’d never planned to have- and a kid who turned out to be a failure at that.

Of course, Wayne hadn’t said that. He’d said the exact opposite, actually. That it wasn’t a big deal. That Eddie could go back next year and succeed- “and you’ll already know the answers to the pop quizzes, so that’ll help.” He’d bought Eddie a milkshake on what should have been graduation night and he’d mentioned more than once that it was nice to have an extra year of snow shoveler/ amateur chef (which was a generous way to say that Eddie had been known to experiment with how to keep the most affordable groceries taste more exciting)/ handyman’s assistant.

Still, Eddie felt guilty. His uncle had sacrificed so much for him and Eddie hadn’t managed to make anything of himself at all. Besides, he knew money was tight and him hanging around the trailer and going to high school full time yet again wouldn’t exactly make things easier for Wayne.

Not that Eddie brought much to the table during non-school months either. He’d tried to get a job around town, but most things that hire teens with no experience were customer service positions- waiters or retail- and he’d been told more than once that he’d be bad for business. He had also asked at all the local mechanic shops. Eddie loved cars and between his uncle’s friends and some old magazines had learned a decent amount about how to keep them in good working order. But apparently when your dad’s in jail for grand theft auto, people don’t want you around their cars. (Yet another thing that wouldn’t have been a problem in Indianapolis.)

Rick, the weird guy he bought weed from had offered him a job a few months back, but Eddie hadn’t given him an answer yet. Not that he had any moral stipulation against the use of certain substances, but Eddie had told himself from a young age that he would avoid the revolving prison door that was his father’s life. Besides, he couldn’t imagine how disappointed Wayne would be if he were charged with some kind of crime… so no. Not yet. He’d try to figure out something legit first.

But for now, he was stuck doing the same thing he’d done pretty much every day of this absolutely miserable summer. Get woken up by Wayne coming home, take a walk and chain-smoke until it got too hot, then sketch out future D&D campaigns until Wayne woke up and he could practice guitar.

Except when he got back to the trailer, Wayne had gone out. Tonight was Wayne’s night off, so Eddie assumed he’d gone out to run some errands after getting a few hours’ sleep. (Night Shift life sounded terrible, Eddie thought for the ten thousandth time since moving in with Wayne.) He shrugged and decided to take advantage of the extra guitar-appropriate time.

When Wayne did get back, Eddie hung his sweetheart on the wall and went to ask Wayne if he needed any help unloading anything. Wayne shook his head. “Just had to head over to the next town to grab a few things. Speaking of-“

He said it so casually, like an afterthought. Eddie had learned years ago that Wayne’s kindness was often like that. Unassuming. Eddie wondered if it had anything to do with how he’d acted when he first arrived at Wayne’s, how sure he’d been that kindness wasn’t something he should expect. Wayne had never directly addressed it; he just kept being kind anyway until Eddie finally learned that things were just going to be different at the trailer, and all in good ways.

Wayne tossed a small paper bag at Eddie. “Picked this up for you at that store you like.”

An electric chair floated in the middle of a blue background, with bolts of lightning descending from Metallica’s iconic logo to the chair. Eddie had seen the cover art before- it had been on a promo poster in that very same store that Eddie liked.

Today, July 27th, Metallica’s second studio album “Ride the Lightning” had released. And Eddie Munson had a copy in his hands.

He knew, of course, that Wayne hadn’t just picked it up during errands. To be sure to get it today, he had clearly preordered it. He’d known the date. Eddie didn’t think that he’d mentioned it- and even if he had said that Metallica had a new album coming out, he certainly wouldn’t have brought up the specific release date. If he was being honest with himself, he’d tried to forget it was coming out at all. He certainly couldn’t afford it and he absolutely wasn’t going to ask Wayne, who had given him everything and who he’d done nothing but let down.

But Wayne wasn’t looking at him at all like someone who felt let down. Wayne was smiling, clearly watching his nephew try not to bounce around with excitement. “Thank you!” Eddie exclaimed, running towards Wayne and hugging him while still not taking his eyes off the album. “Oh this is going to be so metal. I read that one song-“

And off he went, talking a mile a minute about something that Wayne only vaguely understood. But the older man smiled ever more brightly as he watched the never ending bundle of sparks that was his nephew light up his once-dreary home.

Hours later, Eddie sat in his room after listening to the entire album twice and was now trying to figure out the chord progression of “Creeping Death”. Wayne poked his head in the doorway and once again gave Eddie that smile that had made him feel so very safe over the years.

“So how long until you can play the whole thing?”

Eddie laughed. One day, he told himself, he’d get his degree and get far away from Hawkins. But this life that he had right here? This was more belonging and understanding than he would ever find in the most accepting city on the planet.

This was home.

#stranger things #eddie munson #wayne munson #Wayne is the best #metallica #Munson family life #gay eddie munson #Eddie’s being hard on himself #But Wayne’s love is absolute

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princessprettyprivilege · 2 years

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🚨 Do NOT Practice on Low Standard Men 🚨

Dear Princess,

Refrain from using high standard woman mannerisms on low standard men. These men think they can get something for nothing, and they will attempt to take advantage of you if they see you as naive due to your age, job nature or personality.

What you practice on one type of person won’t always apply on the next.

I cannot count how many times I’ve had men try to manipulate me out of what I deserve and guilt trip me for “growing up to be a gold digger.” This goes for other ladies working dusty jobs!

🚨🚨 Please, please don’t allow anyone to negotiate your worth because you’re afraid of hurting everyone else’s feelings except yours! Also, catch yourself if you feel you’re being lead into a dangerous situation! Those mistakes can be fatal!🚨🚨

Let “life lessons” you hear from dusty men go in one ear and out the other. I’ve heard countless stories about “the gold digger” and “the poor man” having his heart broken because she’s soo relentless in taking half of his cardboard box and $5. When they do this, they’re attempting to condition you to go for men like them because they’re smarter than the rich man who’d allow himself to be swindled by a money hungry woman. Those stories are so generic!

Do not sympathize with low standards. If you hear a sentence that begins with “well,” or a sad story, you know your energy will be on a rollercoaster. For ladies that have customer service or retail jobs that cater to people with low standards, any story you hear is a learning lesson on what you don’t want and will never have.

Simply, low standard men aren’t the bullseye I want to hit.

Also, don’t argue over standards online or in person!!

Do not be swayed by money being dangled on a fishing rod. On one hand, someone may be offering you money benevolently while on the other it’s construed as you’ll do anything for money. You ARE NOT desperate for a $20 bill, even $100. Low quality men aren’t your friends, mentor or target.

Do put your self esteem into question. Ask yourself if your self esteem makes you feel if the only things you deserve is $20 and to be a poor man’s fantasy.

Do not seek out compliments. Compliments are not currency. If I hear how nice I look from a low standard person, I am doing something very wrong. I can inflate my ego myself!

Do receive compliments sparingly. Considering your age, compliments can be very flattering and as a result used as a means of control.

Coming out Saturday is “Dressing Like the Paparazzi is Following You,” for ladies who feel their looks of the day aren’t up to par for what they deserve!

Luxury is a feeling!!

Be Luxury, Live Luxury!

#princesskhalyiah #femininity #expensive taste #high standards #level up

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respectthepetty · 1 year

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Help, I'm new to the BL world. Why do we all hate Krist?

Anon, @piningbisexuals wrote about why some of us do not like him, and it boils down to him making several troubling comments which he has yet to apologize for, so a majority of us understand this man continues to be problematic, and because of that, we feel . . . um . . . mmm . . .

A concerning amount of these BL actors stay problematic mostly for people who act in BLs, so he fits in with the crowd, but if anyone has ever worked in retail, the food industry, or customer service in general, we know there are better ways to handle people's wild questions or requests. If we could deal with middle-class Karens demanding their cheese be melted at a certain temperature while we worked for pennies, then these actors can definitely dig deep to better answer some of these questions.

However, the reason I do not like Krist is because

Homie can't act!

I watched SOTUS when it aired and remember NONE of it, probably because I blocked out Krist's acting, so as a main character, I had to block out 82% of the show. I have no recollection of watching SOTUS S whatsoever. Singto's back had to hurt carrying the weight of their scenes.

And what makes it worse is Krist can actually act! He was fine in Good Old Days and Who Are You, but in SOTUS, he was stiff (and don't try saying maybe he evolved over the years or that's what the character required because R2-D2 is an actual robot and has more personality than Arthit!). So that makes me believe the reason for Krist's odd acting choice was due to being paired in a romantic plot with a man.

Krist already said he wouldn't do another BL unless he was desperate, and he looks uncomfortable acting with a man, so why would he be given the lead in another BL?! Who are we punishing here because I feel like it's the audience!

Also, Fluke is no Singto. I like Fluke. He can sing. He is nice to look at. He can act. But I showed up for the DanYok (Not Me) pair because First has always done his job well (even in The Shipper!). Fluke and Pond's dynamic worked in Dark Blue Kiss because of their story line, but if Krist does what he did in SOTUS, Fluke is not strong enough to carry the plot which hinges on Krist's character growing from his past mistakes (a little on-the-nose, right?) simply because no matter how much Fluke gives to his character, if Krist sucks, the entire show will be off balance.

I hope he surprises me, but that beach scene and bed scene in the trailer didn't help ease my fears.

I need Krist to bring out his inner Stanley Tucci and give me the best performance from a straight man since Tucci acted against CHER and X-tina in Burlesque.

I need this man to do his job and act.

#be my favorite #krist perawat #be my favorite the series #this is why I do not like him - he can't act

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jo-harrington · 3 months

Text

Get To Know Store Manager Verse Eddie

What story is he from? What kind of story is it (Fix-it fic, Older!Eddie, Rockstar!Eddie etc)? My Eddie I'm going with it my original Eddie from Store Manager Verse. It's a sort of EveryoneLives! NoUpsideDown! Amalgam where Eddie works at StarCourt Mall and he meets a New Romantic interest in the Claire's Store Manager.

What inspired you to write this Eddie? I've worked retail forever and the horrors but then I moved to corporate. New job, no customers. But corporate teams usually go into the field and help during Q4 and especially in the special...department I work in? Christmas 2022 really made me ask "what if little Store Manager Jo had an Eddie who worked at her mall and she had a crush on him" and SMVerse was born.

What are your favorite headcanons about him/share something you never shared in your story? In my story, he had friends in his first stint through high school/senior year that left him behind and broke up the band. Then Corroded Coffin 2.0 was born with Jeff, Gareth, and Unnamed Freak (who I named Dave). Now that he's approaching a potential graduation with Jeff and some of them aren't...he's worried about Jeff leaving first, but the others shortly after. And then his band will have broken up a second time and what will he do then?

What does he wear on a casual day? On a dressier day? What does he wear to bed? Casual Day: Jeans, T-shirt, Flannel optional based on the weather. Jacket/Vest combo if he's going out. Dressy Day: Bought a nicer button down from Montgomery Ward, sleeves are rolled up, a few buttons undone. He's got the least offensive graphic tee he owns underneath it. Leather Jacket on top, no vest. (There's a Regional Manager visiting Tape World. Kyle is wearing a suit. He also bought sunglasses for all the guys to wear inside secret service style.) Pajamas: Summer, underwear only. Spring/Fall, no shirt, and either flannel pj bottoms or there's a pair of sweats that he's cut into shorts. Winter: Hoodie, sweats, thick socks

Favorite foods? Mountain Dew, Zebra Cakes, Pizza, Watergate salad. End of story. He also likes how reader makes pasta.

Tell Us About His Family/Friends I intentionally left it vague. Mom dead dad in jail, the usual. In SMVerse, Reefer Rick was his mom’s boyfriend for a short amount of time. That’s when things were really looking up in his life. He had a father figure (aside from Wayne) who loved and cared about him with no familial obligations. Mom was working, Rick obviously selling, Wayne working either driving or at the plant. It’s a mutual aid situation. Then his mom dies and Wayne and Rick share as much responsibility as possible because neither of them can do it alone. Wayne and Rick are both Vietnam war veterans? I don’t history good. So they have the benefit of being from the same down and going through the same shit and then they need to raise a kid they both love more than life. And he in turn would do anything for them.

Yeah Yeah, he's a Metalhead. Tell Us MORE About His Taste in Music in your story Oh GOD. Listen. He’s a fucking asshole about his music but if you’re respectful, he’ll be respectful. (If you’re his friend though, it’s extra disrespect). Aside from metal, he does enjoy the classics. He has some rock, he’s got some blues. His mom’s favorite were the Monkees and he listens to that tape to be close to her.

Eddie and Store Manager are currently in my WIPs listening to music and getting high. Stay tuned.

What are his views on romance? On sex? Sex is casual to him. It’s nice to feel nice. He’s slept with a few people, at parties where he’s made sales. He had a “girlfriend” that he thought was a girlfriend who was actually trying to get close to his friend Mickey. Kind of made him a little jaded. All of that to say, that specific event made him hesitate with saying anything to Store Manager. She reminds him SUPERFICIALLY of someone who hurt him and it’s easier to pine and keep her at arms length as a friend than potentially get hurt.

Is he optimistic or pessimistic? Pessimist. Next.

Where or with whom is he most comfortable? He’s most comfortable in his van. Home is home but is it really home? Wayne’s rarely there. Rick’s would have been home if his mom was still alive. He likes being with his friends and he is mostly with them at school which…blah. Or in the van.

What are his views of his future? What are his hopes/dreams? Music!!! music music music. He would like to be a musician and SPOILER he’s gonna be. Just not the fantastical rockstar we would wish for him. But he’s also debating what his future looks like as it pertains to Tape World. He likes it there. He likes being part of a team. Working with them, working with Kyle…he’s very much questioning what he wants.

Anything else you'd like us to know about your Eddie/your story? He’s the softest Eddie I’m gonna write. With the nicest future I think. He’s been dealt the easiest card out of all of them. No Upside Down. Got to have the most ideal childhood given his circumstances. AASB Eddie is harder for obvious reasons. STFF is going to be hard in his own way. But SMV!Eddie is the sweet boy we all need. He’s the sweet boy I need.

#Store manager verse #Prompt game

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slowdiived · 2 years

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oddly specific kurt kunkle request? reader works in retail and one day they complain to their boyfriend kurt about a regular customer (a creepy old man who keeps hitting on reader and making them super uncomfortable), so kurt kills the creepy dude?

i have a guy at my job that is literally a fucking perv so i had some ideas LMFAO

“it’s just really pissing me off,” you ranted as you paced around the living room. “this dude has to be like 60 years old, i’m telling you… and he wouldn’t stop putting his hand on my back every time he made me bend down to show him the stupid iphone chargers.”

kurt watched you, his head turning every direction you went in. he was sitting on the couch furious, his arms crossed against his chest. he was sick with the thoughts of some creepy old man taking advantage of your store’s customer service policy just to get close to you.

“that’s so messed up,” he sighed, laying his back against the leather cushion. “did you tell anybody?”

“yes!” you threw your arms up in anger. “i told like two of mycoworkers on the registers and they just tried to tell me he was ‘being nice.’ it’s a load of bullshit.”

you hated your retail job. you hated it so much. you worked at a failing business that tended to only attract older people with no clue of social norms. mostly it was just having to deal with out of touch people, mean and grumpy at your explanations, and help. you learned to deal with it, your benefits were nice and you got a decent paycheck, but some days you wanted to just chop your head off in front of the whole store to scar everyone in sight. maybe that would make people start to change.

you just learned to cope the best you could, but today was different.

“maybe bring it up with your general manager?” he tried to propose a solution. “i don’t know, i-i’ve never really worked retail before.”

“i wish it was that simple,” you sat down next to him. “he comes in every week and is normal to everyone else, except me. i just feel gross, like i want to cut off the chunk of skin he kept touching.”

“i’m sorry,” he put an arm around your shoulders, bringing you closer and touching his head to yours. “it will get better, maybe just bring his name up to one of your managers and maybe he will get banned.”

“i guess you are right,” you turned to face him. “thank you for letting me rant to you, i know that was probably annoying and all.”

“no,” he kissed your cheek. “it wasn’t at all, im glad you told me.”

he had so many thoughts racing through his head, he could see this man touching you, your face of pure disgust and worry. it made him so enraged, his fingernails digging into his palm as he tried his best to contain himself. he got pretty good at masking his anger, especially in front of you. he never wanted to scare you off with the dark thoughts and actions that ran through him.

he had a plan though. he knew this guy’s routine from all your stories you had told him the last few weeks. he thought about stalking the store, seeking out the guy, following him home, and then beating the ever living shit out of him. watching the older man’s frail bones break as kurt just broke him into a million pieces.

“hey uh, it’s (y/n), was just calling to see if you are okay, it’s been like three hours since you got done driving and you said you were bringing dinner. just call me back when you get the chance, just a little worried.”

it was already eight pm and you hadn’t heard anything from kurt since he got off of spreeing for the day. you texted him a few times, shocked when he wasn’t quick to answer. that boy practically lives on his phone, he texts you a billion times a day checking in on you, but today was different. you tried to just tell yourself that he got caught up in something, maybe his dad needed a ride somewhere. he usually begged kurt to take him to the most outlandish of places so you tried your best to believe your made up story.

you had taken a shower once you got home around four, made yourself look good for your boyfriend. you were gonna eat dinner with him then hope you guys would get to messing around a bit, maybe show off your new underwear you hadn’t had a proper chance to debut to him yet. it was really bothering you that he hadn’t said a word for hours.

before you could worry anymore, kurt had stumbled through the door, slamming it once he got inside. you ran from your room to the living room to see him, happy that he was alive. you were about to report him as missing due to your dramatics.

“hey is everything okay?” you had thrown yourself around him, his arms tightening around you.

“oh yeah,” he spoke into your ear. “just had to take care of something a-and my phone died.”

you pulled away, hands now holding his. he smiled at you, his eyes bright and happy. all your worries went away, his face being enough o make you feel okay.

“did you get dinner?” you asked, starving from not eating since your lunch.

“i was thinking i could take you out,” his grin made your heart flutter. “anywhere you want to go, it’s on me.”

you nodded.

“honestly can we just sit inside taco bell?” you giggled. “i just really want a beefy burrito right now.”

“yeah of course,” he kissed your forehead. “anything for you.”

you told him you would be right back, going to your room to get a pair of shoes on. he sat on the couch for a moment and let out a huff, his mind fuzzy.

he would do anything to make you happy, he loves making you happy. he wants to be your saving grace, your only hope. he looked down at his jacket, smiling at the tiny bloodstain that was left on him. it was all for you, it’s always going to be for you. he wouldn’t have it any other way.

“okay i’m read-“ you stopped for a moment as you noticed a blood smear from the side of his temple down to his ear. “… hey are you bleeding?”

his hand shot to the side of his face that your eyes were fixated on, his fingers grazing the dried blood. he pulled down his hand to look at it and sure enough, there was dried blood that bunch up on his pointer and middle finger.

“oh uh,” he pretended to look as shocked as he possibly could. “i hit my head on the uh… side of my door today w-when getting gas. i was trying to uh… hurry for my next passenger, i didn’t notice i was bleeding.”

he stood up and went to your bathroom, quickly turning in the sink. he pulled out a washcloth from your drawer, soaking it then scrubbing at his temple.

you followed in shortly after, nervous that he had really hurt himself. you tried to get up close to inspect the suspected wound but he pulled away from you.

“oh i-i’m okay,” he finished cleaning it off. “it’s just a tiny scratch on my scalp, nothing major.”

“are you sure?” you tried to reach for him again. “let me check it for you-“

“no it’s fine i promise,” he put the cloth on the counter. “we should get to t-taco bell before they close.”

you nodded and turned around, heading out the restroom door. kurt looked in the mirror one last time, the events of the day playing through his head.

he punched the guy in the face, as hard as he could. the man stumbled to the ground of his front lawn, groaning at the impact. kurt through another hard hitter, the man passing out.

he had put him in his car and drove him to the junkyard, his usual place for his victims. he layer his body against the gravel in front of his car, waiting for the man to wake up again. he was growing impatient, the pocket knife on his key opened and ready to be used. kurt decided to stab him in the side repeatedly, the old man awakening to the pain. he looked at kurt with eyes of terror, his hand reaching for the bloody wound.

“this is what you get m-mother fucker,” he stuttered, stabbing him again.

the man tried to grab kurt with his bloody hand, the liquid smearing against the side of his head.

“are you coming or what?” you asked, breaking him out of his memory.

“y-yeah,” he turned off the light and head to you. “just wanted to say i love you.”

“i love you.” he gave you a kiss on your cheek.

#kurtsworld96 #kurt kunkle #kurt kunkle x reader #kurt kunkle fanfiction #kurt kunkle fic #spree #spree movie #kurt kunkle x fem reader #joe keery #kurt kunkle/reader

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thedeluluverse · 1 year

Text

This is my first foray into the world of drabbles but please gimme allll the feedback! 😊 I just couldn’t get this damn chair idea out of my head so hope y’all enjoy, let me know XD

Summary: You normally aren’t the type to go home with a handsome stranger from the club but today is different. Stressed with life and a long day at work, you let loose for once! But what will the morning after bring?

Pairing: idol!Taehyung x cashier!f!reader.

Rating: PG13 ig lmao

Genre: idol!au, strangers to lovers!au, fluff,

Word Count: 1,787

Warnings: swearing, 2nd hand embarrassment, making out, some hair pulling, mentions of smutty night before, customer service job (yes that’s a warning lmao), sleepy pure bean Tae

You have been living on your own for about a year, and so far, so good until you started your new retail cashier job at a little-bit-of-everything store. It isn't the worst job ever, but it tends to attract all kinds of people in varying shades of odd, so it can be quite mentally draining in addition to all the Karens you encounter. Feeling more tired than usual, you don't even notice the tall, handsome customer walk in and head straight to the back clearance corner where the weird things you might find at a garage sale live.

Until the rest of your coworkers leave for the day, and you are alone because your dumbass manager doesn't know how to make a schedule. So, he has no other option to check out besides you. The sound of approaching shopping cart wheels alerts you to look professional. Still, you almost lose your balance once your eyes focus on this customer. Though his appearance is barely seen with a baggy hoody, baseball cap, and a mask, you can tell this is one handsome dude. The flustered sensation fades slightly once you see him place the only item in his buggy up on the counter to be scanned; a chair with more cake than most people that you threw in the back months ago. Gulping hard at the familiar object, you ask,

Y/N: *turning the chair around to find the tag to scan* “Wi..will this be all for you today, sir?"

CM: *raises an eyebrow with an amused look and chuckles* "Yeah, that's it, but you don't need to be so formal; it looks like I'm not much older than you."

Y/N: *you blush b/c omg he looked at me lmao* "Oh…okay… I didn't mean to offend you; just part of my job. *Bags up the item and places it back in the cart* "Have a nice day…well, what's your name Mr. not old."

CM: *has a fake annoyed look on his face* "Someone is quick-witted, I see… well, sadly for you, I'm not keen on revealing such personal things. Not like this, at least. See you around, Sassy." *Leaves store*

You sit back down on the bench with a hand on your heart beating out of your chest from the mere presence of that man, much less you had playful banter?? And did he just give you a nickname?? Taking a deep breath, you are energized by this interaction and start cleaning up the store so you can leave on time to meet your friends at a new club tonight. One other person comes in before closing, so you can leave work at 8 o'clock on the dot for once! Much as you try not to, you just can't help replaying that mysterious stranger in your head the whole drive home. Once you get home, you blast your upbeat boss bitch vibes playlist as you freshen up and get ready to head to the club.

Entering the club, you spot your friends, and instantly, the stresses of life fade away in the aesthetic lights and boppy music blaring through the stereo. It doesn't hurt that you feel fine as hell, either! After about 2 hours of songs and 2 shots, you sit down at the bar for a breather and some water as you were too busy for dinner, so a couple of shots don't necessarily agree with your stomach despite your attitude feeling fantastic. You close your eyes for a moment as you enjoy the crisp water going down your throat, feeling the cooling sensation all the way down. The relaxation doesn’t last long until you feel a presence beside you. This isn't odd since you are in a public space, but it has the energy of someone waiting to talk to you. Turning to your left and swiftly standing up to show you were stable to whoever was near you didn't work out according to plan. Your legs buckle as soon as you are upright, and you can feel your balance slipping from getting up too quickly as you aren't buzzed enough to be unstable. Thankfully, a solid but gentle pair of arms catch you before you hit the ground and slowly turn you to face him to ensure you are okay. Before any words are said, you recognize him as the customer from earlier today. Your eyes widen suddenly, and you are very nervous about how good you look because most men you've met in clubs have been scum. You start to dart away, but his honey-like voice pulls you back.

CM: "Hey, hey, it's okay; you're safe, alright? I was worried when you came to sit down, so I was on standby to protect you.

Y/N: *is confused* “But wh..why? You don't even know me; why do you care?" *slight pause* "Oohhh, right, you're a guy. I bet you are just trying to play the hero card to get in my pants."

CM: *frowns* “I am a guy, but everything else is wrong. Do you not recognize me from earlier? You are the same cashier, right? Sheesh, that'd be embarrassing if you weren't…."

Y/N: *astounded he recognized you* "Woah… I did, but I didn't think you'd remember me!"

CM: *chuckles and shyly rubs his neck* “I mean.. how could I not? Hard-working, funny, and beautiful, it'd be a crime to not commit you to memory."

Y/N: *bibi di nobody bo you’re a tomato* “I..well.I’m flattered.” *looks down, biting your lip, then head snaps back up with hands on your hips* "Wait… so can I know your name now?? You already know mine because of my stupid uniform name tag, so it's unfair."

CM: *tilts head in, 'You have a point'* "Fair enough, the name is Tae. Nice to formally meet you, y/n."

Y/N: *butterflies a flurry in your stomach, hearing him say your name* "Trust me…the pleasure is all mine. So I have to ask, do you really think I'm beautiful? Like, I know I look hot right now but earlier, different story. "

TAE: "I mean what I say and vice versa, gorgeous. I normally don't do this, but I've been going a little crazy since the store. Sooo, would you be okay if I.. again, it's fine if not, I just wanted to ask because..”

Before he can finish the sentence, your arms are thrown around his neck, engaging in a passionate kiss. You don't break away to breathe until about 10 minutes of your hands roaming all around each other’s bodies and through your hair without a care. Communicating wordlessly, you bolt out of there hand in hand to his car, where the makeout continues for another 5 minutes before you agree to take it to his place. You usually are never the type to have a one-night stand, but something just feels so right with this guy. You feel safe enough to let go of your worries and let something other than your vibrator give you release for once.

*TIME SKIP TO NEXT MORNING*

Waking up in a new place in a baggy Celine t-shirt, the events of last night slowly replay in your head as you goofily grin, feeling elated for the first time in a while. Looking over, you notice Tae is not in bed still. It shouldn't worry you, it's a hookup, after all, but you can tell he's not that type of guy. Curiosity getting the better of you, you wander out of the room, greeted by the cutest little fluffball of a Pomeranian. Squatting and letting it sniff you, it instantly jumps into your arms; walking into the living room, you meet Tae's shocked eyes.

TAE: "He let you pick him up? It normally takes several meetings for him to be comfortable with someone."

Y/N: *shrugs as you release the upper, excitedly panting for his dad* "I've always been good with animals, honestly. What's his name?"

TAE: *picks up the dog and kisses head* "Names Yeontan but I call him Tan for short."

You melt at all the cute you have witnessed in the last few minutes, then you stare off into space, looking shocked about something.

TAE: * waves hand in front of your face* “Hey, y/n, you okay?”

Y/N: *doesn’t blink* “You…you’re…The.. as in motherfucking Kim Taehyung Tae????? I thought you looked familiar, but I wasn't sure about you looking undercover as fuck in the store and then the low lighting at the club. Holy shit… tired brain went away and immediately put the puzzle together, and I… I need to sit..”

He guides you to the couch and rubs your back, making sure you are alright but also thinking your reaction was adorable and is honestly surprised his disguise was that good. Once he feels your breathing stabilize, he kisses your temple and pats your leg as he gets up to make the two of you breakfast. As he turns around to face the stove, he notices you look like you've seen a ghost.

Y/N: “Tha..that wasn’t a gift? You actually wanted that for your own house.. oh my god, what is life...”

TAE: *follows your gaze to the ass chair he bought yesterday and looks confused* "I mean, yeah, why wouldn't I? It's unique, and I liked it so voila! What's so odd about that? Plus, it's Jimin's designated seat when he comes over because, I mean…booty and harder for him to fall out of that one, haha."

Y/N: *shakes head, trying to process* "No, I get it just..ugh, I swore nobody would know this, but here we are… that used to be mine. So the fact that our tastes are this similarly odd and you own something that my ass used to be on is just a little overwhelming since you may or not be my ult bias since I was like 15… “ *blushes and twiddles fingers nervously*

TAE: "Everything you just said made me that much giddier, and I wasn't sure that was possible… I don't mean to weird you out, but I'd like to see you again. Outside of work or the club, maybe go get boba tea and a snack this weekend if you're free?"

Shocked that this is how your life is playing out but not questioning it too long, you agree. That date leads to another and another until 6 months later, you are officially dating and the happiest you've ever been. You do a lot for and with that man, but no way in hell are you ever using that chair again or getting over the fact that he actually bought your ass chair from you and proudly displays it. He's lucky he's adorable, but even still, you wouldn't want him any other way.

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altheterrible · 8 months

Text

The water is only knee deep.

Well I haven’t written a long, rambling post about my life in awhile, so here we go.

Right now, my life has a level of stability that is truly unprecedented.

When I moved to Detroit for grad school and was suddenly away from my family and their drama, I found myself in a much more stable environment than I had ever been, and it was unfamiliar and uncomfortable. I reacted by causing my own chaos, because at the time I only felt normal if I was in fight or flight mode. Hence the years of stitches and hospitalizations and all that jazz.

Now, though, I am in a very stable place and I don’t feel compelled to ruin it. I feel like...instead of getting knocked over again and again by crashing waves, I am standing up in the water and realizing it’s only knee deep. I’m surveying my surroundings for the first time because I’m finally not struggling to keep my head above water.

This is what I see.

Getting my pharmacist license back is going to require paying my fine and probably getting a lawyer as well as acquiring documentation from my therapist that says I am now stable enough to practice pharmacy. That will not be a problem, she is 100% on my side. My sister will be a lawyer in a year so I have that covered. I will not have $1000 in a year, but I should get a decent tax refund this year that I can put towards it.

But! I do not know if I want to go back to pharmacy. Retail pharmacy is soul sucking. Telling old people they can’t have their anticoagulant unless they have $200/month, telling people they can’t have inhalers or insulin unless they pay...it’s unethical, frankly, and I won’t do it. Hospital pharmacy would be a better fit, but that generally requires a residency and I absolutely can’t even afford to apply for residency especially since I know that with my record, I wouldn’t match.

There’s a certificate in medical writing I want to start working on, but I can’t get financial aid and I can’t afford even one class a semester. But medical writing would be a good fit for me--I understand clinical research, I enjoy writing, and I am good at breaking things down so people can understand them. But, money. Always money.

I applied for a recently-opened lead position at my current job, and the pay bump would be nice, but it’s still only part time. That said, I really enjoy what I do there and I love my coworkers. It’s low stress and no one throws things at me. I would absolutely abandon pharmacy to pursue a career in museums, but it’s such a hard industry to break into. There's a gulf between customer service at a museum and the curators/designers/science folks, and it is huge and impassable.

My sister is giving me more responsibility at the library. I’m going to start running an adult book/movie club in September in addition to running monthly teen nights. I’m doing a murder mystery night in October as well, and the annual trunk or treat. I’m going to be working 5-6 days a month instead of the 1-2 that I have been, so I’ll have a little extra money. I really enjoy working on library programming, I love coming up with ideas for programs and then making them into reality. I’ve looked at finishing my MLIS, but my credits expired last year and I think I’d have to start over. But in Michigan, you don’t really need an MLIS to be a high-ranking library employee, and my sister says she thinks I would make a great director once I get some more management experience under my belt. She’s going to teach me the secrets of grant writing and she’s working with me about learning how to report our data to the state for state aid. I think working in libraries could be extremely fulfilling. I’ve toyed with the idea of sending a resume off to the local medical school library to see if they need an assistant.

One of my goals for therapy when I switched therapists in January was that I wanted to be able to make a firm commitment to staying alive. I’ve always felt very ambivalent about the future. I wasn’t sure there would be anything in the future worth sticking around for. Now I realize I need to make those things myself. I think I finally am committed to staying alive. I still go down suicidal, life-is-meaningless, I wish I was dead spirals, but they don’t last too long. Idk, maybe it’s the Prozac. Maybe it’s working jobs that don’t make me hate myself. Maybe it’s having a life that’s predictable enough that I can actually plan for the future.

For the first time in my life, I don’t feel the urge to run and leave everything and everyone behind. I’m letting myself form relationships with people that actually mean something to me. I sometimes still feel like if I disappeared, nothing in the world would change, but mostly I’m starting to see the worth in myself that other people keep insisting is there. I’m treating myself better. Trying to rest, trying to be creative daily, putting my needs before other peoples’ wants.

I don’t want to say I’m happy, because I don’t want to jinx it, but I am content most of the time. I whine and complain a lot, but that’s just who I am as a person; a whiny baby. When I go to bed at night, I no longer wish to die in my sleep. I don’t pray to get hit by a bus or a car or an asteroid anymore. And you know, maybe that will change. Maybe things will get dark again. Right now, I feel okay about that, too. I’m just enjoying my quiet little life and not bracing myself for the next catastrophe. It might come, it might not, but that doesn’t mean that right now, this moment, needs to be rushed.

#long post #about me #whining #self harm mention #suicide mention #cptsd #trauma #recovery

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arostormblessed · 1 year

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Please for the love of god how do u get a job at the library (also is your url stormblessed as in Kaladin bc FUCK YEAH)

First of all: YES Kaladin is thee character of all time he is my everything and Brandon Sanderson actually personally told me that he is aroace. So.

Second of all: OKAY I’ve got you friend. So getting a job at the library is largely going to depend on what kind of job you’re looking for. Unfortunately the more higher-paying full time jobs are going to require some degrees (usually a Masters in library science aka MLS) BUT there are way more options if that’s not feasible for you.

The easiest job to get at your local library is probably going to be a page position, though they’re sometimes called other names. These are your employees who check in books, organize them, and re-shelve them, as well as pulling holds and doing other odd jobs around the library (every library has a slightly different structure, so some duties may be distributed differently in your area!) Sadly it pays basically nothing, less than most fast food jobs, but literally anyone over the age of 16 can get hired and you need no experience or anything like that. It’s a great position if you’re not a people person (there’s very limited interaction with actual patrons!) Plus lots of people start from here and work their way up the proverbial food chain in their library. You’ll find lots of these positions open basically all the time because the turnover rate is so high, and it’s great if you’re looking for an easy, relaxing, low-stress part time gig that gets you real experience working in a library.

If you want a step up from pages that still doesn’t require a degree, your next option is a circulation assistant. These are the people who work the front desk (in adult or children’s sections), answer phones, help out customers, and deal with collection stuff that’s above the pages’ access/pay grade. Most of these positions are part time but some are full time! It pays more than pages- still not that much but depending on how many hours you work and which library system you’re in it can all depend. If you’re more open to customer service but don’t want to deal with food or retail it’s a good option, and it’s another stepping stone to higher positions with the added experience!

I would also recommend seeing if your local library has any special programs it houses that are hiring. Mine for example has a Makerspace area that has a 3D printer and cool machines galore, and those programs sometimes have full-time jobs available that don’t require a degree. Plus it’s a lot of fun.

(I will say that sometimes “””networking””” can be the key to getting hired in a library system. If you’ve been around the library a lot, whether it be volunteering or interning or working as a page or just being a memorable patron, if you know everyone’s name and are familiar with how the system works, it gives you a HUGE boost in the eyes of librarians. They also have a tendency to hire people just based on vibes, so if you’re just a super nice courteous cool person chances are you’ll get the job.)

Full time, higher paying jobs like reference librarians usually require an MLS but sometimes you only need a bachelor’s degree. It all depends on your library system. There are also soooo many different departments in the library that I’m not quite as familiar with (IT! Maintenance! Technical & collection services! Local history! Outreach! ILL! Children’s! Programming!) So if any of those are what really floats your boat I’d suggest doing a little research and seeing if it sounds like you!

Above all, the first step you can take is to just go to your local library’s website and check their job postings. It will (hopefully) give you way more accurate information than I’ve just rambled on about and give you a good place to start!

I wish you lots of luck, my friend. If you have any other questions about libraries I will do my best to answer them.

#libraries #wow this was a lot of typing. I’m not sure if it was helpful at all but I did my best!!#libraries are the coolest places to work ever and I will scream it from the rooftops till I die.#please no one attack me if I got something wrong lmao a lot of these things are way different across library systems #but i LOVE libraries and will talk about them always.#and side note i am very extremely proud of my url #kaladin is my forever blorbo

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fuck-customers · 2 years

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Hi so I’m an anon who sent in an ask about feeling like my job is driving me round the bend, noticed a lot of people were asking “wHy ARe YoU IN tHIs IndUSTry If YOu HaTE iT?” etc etc and wanted to clear some things up. I work in hospitality because, like an idiot, when I was just starting out looking for work it was the first thing I got into, not realising that it offers no other experience outside retail and once you’re in you’re basically fucking stuck there. As I said, I have no motivation to spend thousands upon thousands of dollars to have the chance to swap to a different career nor do I even know what I would want to do. My depression severely inhibits my ability to stay motivated enough to commit to studying even, so no help there. I have done work outside of hospo in the past, and am looking into getting out of it currently, but it’s difficult when most job listings are for customer service. Also warehouse work sounds good in theory, until most jobs require you to have experience or a forklift license (neither of which I have), and chronic back pain makes me apprehensive that the job wouldn’t completely destroy my spine. A lot of the jobs I would like to apply for require either experience or certain degrees.

As for the comments addressing my pretty violent thoughts, yes I am neurotic and traumatised clearly lol. Being the survivor of SA and both physical and mental abuse by different people for years does not exactly make one pleased to be around other people. I have developed a sort of apathy and inherent distrust of people based on instincts now. Is it healthy? No, of course it isn’t - and I never claimed it was. But I’m not literally going to jump over the counter and maim anyone, I’m in complete control of my actions and have no real intentions of causing harm - I’m not going to walk into work one day and decide “this is my villain origin story”, but I cannot help the fact that I do have dark intrusive thoughts. Everyone has them, you can either be the type of person who learns to manage and mitigate, or act upon them. What I was saying was only to vent - as is the nature of this blog, a safe space to vent. There’s a lot of other people who also describe the numerous graphic things they want to do to certain shit stain customers, I don’t see why my ask is any different to theirs. I do my job well and maintain a good attitude despite my shortcomings, otherwise I sure as fuck wouldn’t still be employed or have 6+ years experience in jobs I’ve all had long term under my belt.

Oh and to the person who was trying to act like the authority on what all people with PTSD think and experience, I’ll put it bluntly - fuck off. If a person with PTSD experiences dark thoughts or handles their trauma in a way outside what we would consider morally normal, does that suddenly make them a bad person? No it fucking doesn’t and, quite frankly, is a very ableist thing to assume of and say to a fellow survivor. Dark intrusive thoughts are very common amongst people with trauma actually. Good for you, you handle your trauma a certain way - but you are by no means the golden standard. Don’t diminish other victims for the way they react to things. If someone is having intrusive thoughts but has no intention of acting upon them and can clearly discern that they are not healthy nor should they be enacted, then cool beans. You do you. Human brain works in a myriad of strange and mysterious ways. As I already said, I came here to VENT. I get no notes from being on anon, nor did I at any point say my actions were healthy or justified, you bottom feeder. I very clearly pointed out how I knew it wasn’t healthy and that I need an out because I don’t want to keep doing this to myself anymore. I already am in therapy as I have been for years, but sometimes it’s nice to have a space to vent outside the months long gaps in sessions, thanks for not asking and just assuming I wallow in my own misery 24/7 🤪 seems like your “you problem” is assuming you have any say in how other survivors react to things based on your own “uwu trauma” and reactions. Fuck you :)

The person who clearly got I’m just here to vent and reprimanded the other comments, we cool appreciate you boo 10/10 would take your order anytime

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ravynfyre · 2 years

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so, because I am on a fixed income (yaaayyy disability. mrf) I buy all my groceries for the month when I get paid, because I have money then, and who knows if I will have money two weeks later. (yes, I know what my budget is, I know *how* to budget, but I am also ADHD with no impulse control, and do stupid things sometimes. So I try to set things up so I CANNOT do stupid things later) This has been a tiny bit of a problem with the pandemic stuff because, periodically, they will put limits on how many of a thing I can buy at once. No I am not hoarding or prepping or whatever - that's just what I go through in my house for a month. Also, with the pandemic, I tried to limit how many times a month I would expose myself to people, because if I go down, there's no one here that can handle my farm; I live alone.

Recently, though, walmart (yes, I shop at walmart. I really don't have any choice where I am at, and on my limited funds) has changed some things... They took the caps off of some of my monthly staples for a single trip, *even on the curbside pickup shopping*!!! So that has meant that, for last month and this month, I have been able to order online all of my groceries for the month, without any issues! (other than, y'know, being out of stock or whatever). So between their system, and Aldi's online curbside pickup system, I can get all of my groceries without even having to enter the store. For me? It's worth the $2 fee instacart charges to have someone shop for me.

Except today, when I went to pick stuff up, while I was at Walmart getting loaded, Aldi's texts to thank me for "checking in" and that my associate is on their way out to my truck. And I was, like, wut? Then a minute later, they thanked me for my "completed pick up order". I look at my dog, Pyro, who I always take with me on these trips, and we both just kinda shrug. It's computers. They're screwy sometimes. The nice Walmart boys finish loading me, and we run across the street to Aldi's to pick up the rest of my stuff...

And because the system says I have already completed my pickup, I cannot check in. So I try to call the store. Only *you can't call aldi's stores anymore, because all of their numbers are unlisted, and the only access to customer support is online!*

Ugh. First World Problems, but that means I have to exit my truck, in the rain, and run inside to figure out what is going on.

Here's the thing about me: I have worked retail. I have worked food service. It was 5:30 pm, and the place was packed and busy. I understand what a shitty job retail folks have. So I will ALWAYS be on my BEST FUCKING BEHAVIOR to the folks working. So when I approached the least busy person there (who turned out to be the manager) and patiently waited for her to finish what she was doing, I politely thanked her for dealing with me, asked her to pardon me for bothering her, and explained that I couldn't seem to check in to pick up my curbside order because it had "already been picked up"?

and this woman immediately began treating me like I was an absolute out of control karen psycho, with repetitions to "calm down", and "it's a screwed up system but it isn't our fault", and, again, "calm down".

here's another newsflash about me: quickest way to piss me off when I am not angry is to tell me to calm down or to not be mad. So, yeah.

CHALLENGE FUCKING ACCEPTED.

So when she, and the store "shopper" started trying to tell me that clearly my order was placed at a different store, that she had no order from anyone by my name, that she had *never* shopped for me, and she ONLY had one order waiting for pickup, for a COREY... all despite the fact that the info I showed them on my phone was 1) their store, 2) clearly showed HER NAME as needing permission to make substitutions, and giving her my real name, and any nicknames and emails that could be associated with the account, *I* was the one being unreasonable and mean to them.

I'm like, uh, not YET, but I'm getting there REAL FUCKING QUICK.

They both stomped off into the back room to look at what they had, and the manager swaggered out a few minutes later saying, "You gave her the wrong name. There's an order for Coyote waiting for you to pick up." Oh, you mean the EMAIL ADDRESS I GAVE YOU WHEN I GAVE YOU MY NAME!? THAT WRONG NAME!?

This is in my head, mind you, because I am BEING CALM JUST TO SPITE THIS BITCH WHO KEEPS TELLING ME TO BE CALM. So I head back out to my truck to wait for the shopper to bring me my shit...

Only to find Pyro has fished out my loaf of bread from the Walmart order and eaten the entire. fucking. thing. And ENTIRE sandwich loaf. And half the wrapper. Fucker.

Meanwhile, the shopper brings my shit out and informs me that she'd mixed up my order and tried to give it to someone else, only they were honest enough to not accept it, and that was why it showed that it was already picked up and why I couldn't check in. And this info is presented to me like it's MY fault that this happened.

I am no longer calm. I thank her for wasting my time, and inform her that HER screw up has cost me my bread for the month. She shrugs and says, "then tell instacart." and walks away.

Moral of the story? Fucking dog who already ate his dinner will NOT HESITATE to snarf your food if you give him half a fucking chance. And I'll enhance my fucking calm when I want to, and not one. fucking. second. sooner.

#you want me to be a real bitch?#because that's how you get me to be a real bitch #challenge fucking accepted

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