#literally brothers in neuroticism

[jellogram]

I'm so glad that Ryan "bought and returned 9 pillows before he found a satisfactory one" Bergara and Shane "regularly orders 100 count boxes of original flavor Burt's Bees" Madej found each other

#literally brothers in neuroticism #watcher

[snakeautistic]

I love finding characters I can relate (/project onto) within media. There’s something so comforting about seeing yourself on screen. I end up headcanoning most of them to be in-line with my identities (lesbian, wasian, autistic) because they are literally me in my head!!

Anyway here’s a long ass list of my favorite characters and why I head canon them as autistic for fun!! If you have any others you’d like to add I’d love to hear them. (And please note this is just my interpretation, and highly based on my experience with autism. I’m not saying they’re definitely autistic or that all the traits I listed are the dsm-5 criteria or something.)

Princess Bubblgeum from adventure time:

This girl is peak evil scientist autistic. Her intense need for control, the way she carefully observes the citizens she created, an outsider to them, not quite like them… god it’s so perfect. I read her as being somewhat low empathy as well, it’s hard for her to change her perspective to that of others. Plus the fact her brother neddy is a pretty obvious metaphor for higher supports needs autism. I think they of represent how autism runs in the family and appears in all sorts of different ways in different people. They’re sort of two different representations of the spectrum.

Marcy wu from amphibia

I mean this one is just obvious. The biggest nerd of all time. So obsessed with her RPG special interest that she literally sucks her and her friends into a fantasy world. She’s clumsy (just like me fr), very smart but super socially awkward, a little oblivious and naive. She’s terrified of change, especially if it means abandoning the few social bonds she’s been able to make. I honestly find it hard to believe this wasn’t intentional.

Entrapta from she-ra

Another pretty overt example. I do have some issues with how she was portrayed in the show- (keeping her on a leash was weird.) but overall I really love her. She understands her tech, not people, and it can cause her to come into conflict with other characters. Their treatment of her makes me sad at times, but it’s realistic. I also love some of her other quirks, her love of tiny food, her exitable demeanor, ect.

Pearl from Steven Universe

Peridot is the more obvious example of an autistic character in SU, and while I agree she’s coded that way, I personally resonate more with Pearl. She is not very socially aware, and bothered by disruptions to her routine/ broader life changes. She doesn’t like to break rules (despite being a literal rebel lol.) I find it interesting how she seems to have the poorest understanding of life on earth out of the gems, despite having lived here for thousands of years. She is graceful, but has an almost sort of awkward gangly-ness to her that I relate to. Her neuroticism is also very similar to how my anxiety disorder presents.

Pearl has a tendency to infodump, without realizing those around her are uninterested. Even her relationship with Rose struck a chord with me. The hopeless devotion to her, the way she followed along at her side. It’s how many of my friendships have been. Obvious it’s not exactly the same considering Pearl having originally been her servant, but while not being an explicitly autistic trait, that sort of clingy, starstruck relationship is something autistic people are prone to developing. She does little hand stims at times too that I love to see.

Poison Ivy (specifically the version in the Harley Quinn animated show)

I’m surprised I haven’t seen more people mention poison Ivy. Fiercely intelligent and deeply introverted, she isolates herself from all people, and only connects with and understands her plants. (Which her deep affinity for can definitely be read as a special interest.) She very overtly has trouble forming relationships with others.

She’s blunt, socially awkward and a loner, has something of a flat effect and a monotone voice. Those around her initially read her as cold and impersonable.Her struggle with social anxiety as well as intense fear of failure/ low self esteem is also very relatable to me. She also often struggles to express/understand her feelings and emotions. Her radical political ideas and the fact that she’s literally an ecoterrorist paints her as having a very strong sense of justice and a somewhat black and white worldview. (Me)

Finally, her relationship with Harley just SCREAMS neurodivergent solidarity. Harley Quinn is (I think canonically) adhd, and they’re both outsiders in the world that found each other and just… get each other. She’s Ivy’s closest and only friend and amazing girlfriend and god it’s all so perfect.

They remind me a lot of the relationship I have with my best friend with adhd except theirs is gayer.

#autistic headcanon #autism headcanon #headcanon #headcanons #actuallyautistic #actually autistic #neurodivergent #neurodiversity #neurodivergent headcanon #adventure time #princess bubblegum #amphibia #marcy wu #she ra #entrapta #steven universe #pearl su #poison ivy #harley quinn animated series

[libbee]

Are water placements (cancer, scorpio, pisces) the best ones to have?

Emotions are so important but no other elements are in tune with their emotions, complexes, fantasies, highs and lows and spiritual side like the water placements.

Suppressed emotions can cause physical diseases. Cancer is said to be caused by suppressed anger. Carl Jung used to treat tuberculosis in his patients with analytical psychology. For example, when patients complain of body pain, it is sometimes repressed memory or painful trauma that is causing it, and when they deal with that trauma, it is resolved on its own.

Repressed memories, trauma, events can cause irritation of mood, neuroticism, obsessive compulsion and various kinds of addictions. it can also lead to violence and abusive tendencies.

A person who cannot do self reflection will keep bumping into the similar problems again and again, keep meeting problematic people again and again. What keeps them from self reflecting is the shame and fear of emotions - of what they might find out if they sit down to reflect.

When life story is so difficult that the native does not have time and willingness to face their emotions, the emotions pile up and exert on the near ones, they come out in form of diseases and evil fantasies. For eg, when a native is so caught up in job, earning, saving money that they never gets time to self care, deal with their emotions and confront their traumas, it shows up in form of sudden misfortunes in real life.

The state of life literally depends on your mood and emotions. Water placements are the only ones who can deal with their emotions (fear, anger, shame, insecurities) and not run away from them in means of temporary gratification.

Those who are blessed with water placements are natural healers and they heal themselves, work on themselves, work on their emotions, they are able to form authentic connections, they are able to self care and be in tune with their energy. They are able to look into their emotions and not fear what might come up - and since they show emotional vulnerability, they attract fellow healers in their lives. Water placements are the ones to know the emotional needs of everyone, from a poor boy to a rich hotshot, from a pet dog to wild beast in the jungle, from their loved ones to the strangers in the streets, they are the only ones who know that every sentient being has emotions, it feels pain, fear, anger, anxiety and hurt. They are the only ones who can look deep down into their depths, so deep that perhaps only they know the essence of life, meaning of life, magic of life, secrets of life. Nature is biased with its children and gives its best gifts to the chosen ones. Water placements are the only ones who know God because they know themselves.

I have seen natives with inner planets in air/fire signs in 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 10th, 11th houses. They might lead a normal life in appearance but there is no authenticity in them, they are self aware but no willingness to change their vices, there is no emotional connection to anyone, they are like tricksters playing mind games, tricking, lying, manipulating; they will do anything to keep running from themselves, even if that means to cheat on their partner just so they can feel powerful, confident and not have to look into their void. I personally do not have my inner planets in water signs but I have moon and venus in 8th house (water house, house of transformation, death and rebirth) and so I was forced to change my ego attitude, change my previous personality, change my habit of masking my emotions with humor and playfulness and get down to doing the real dirty messy work of healing, being in tune with my emotions, being self aware, being calm and peaceful, to live with the flow of life, to live with the tao. On the other hand, my brother has pisces moon and sun in cancer, he was always a calm and emotionally attuned boy. There is a maturity, humility, stability, depth and understanding in him which is contrary to the noise and chaos the world lives in.

Now that I look back at my previous life, I can see the difference in this life and that life, the quality of life is so drastic, life satisfaction is so much more, i am confident and secure in my abilities, i am self actualizing and know the importance of emotions. I would not want to go back to that place, but I also dread if I did not have water house placements, I would never enlighten, progress, grow, heal, mature, develop. Air placements can intellectually understand what it means to heal, what it means to confront their shadow, what it means to accept their weaknesses and insecurities but this intellectual understanding does not translate into action, actual work, actual healing. Mere reading books on healing is not enough, you have to actually get your hands dirty and drown into your emotions before you learn to swim. Air/fire/earth placements just sit on the shore, looking at the ocean, wondering what is in there, reading encyclopedia, talking about it with others, making documentaries about the ocean but never step into it, never get their hands wet and never learn to swim. No one can build you the bridge on which you, and only you, must cross the river of life - Friedrich Nietzsche.

#astro tumblr #astrology blog #astro notes #astrology #astronotes #astrology notes #astro community #astro observations #astro placements #astrology community #astrology observations

[taptrial2]

thinking about

A. my "phineas and ferb: straightness is compulsory" video essay that only exists in my brain

B. my pitch for the "adult and gritty" phineas and ferb reboot that's about candace getting treatment for her ocd and both her and the people around her learning how to 1. communicate about her needs and 2. provide for her in a way seperate from her brothers

i have so many thoughts about candace as a character, this poor girl. she has SEVERE anxiety issues, demonstrable obsessions and compulsions, and her family doesn't really bother to take her issues seriously. her family is very loving and affectionate, but jeremy is the only person in her life that not only takes her seriously but consistently works to make sure she feels wanted and seen on her own terms. phineas and ferb don't have the emotional intelligence to deal with this, being actual literal children (and autistic), so they try to fix her distress with gadgets and other items instead of leveling with her emotionally.

the boys seem blissfully unaware of how much their shenanigans wear on her and her self esteem, which sucks, i think. the episode formula and status quo is god nature of pnf leaves candace in constant torment, untreated, unmedicated, and lacking the true emotional support she needs to feel confident as her own person. her friends and family worry about her wellbeing but it is played for comedy. as an adult, it reads weirdly. no wonder she's a nervous wreck, she can't help but compare herself to her hyper-talented brothers. she doesn't get as much love or attention from the community.

she's desperate for approval, so she obsesses over what she is "supposed" to do as a teenage girl. what is measured as "success" as a teenage girl. being a movie star or a model, for example. she surrounds herself with pink, studies makeup and beauty magazines, and it all feels like she is desperately trying to reach a warped and plastic version of what she thinks is "normal" as deemed by the media that her demographic is "supposed" to consume.

in truth, candace is wicked talented all on her own. not only is she physically resilient, but she can play SEVERAL instruments that begin with B (incredibly impressive) and has a fantastic singing voice. she's crafty, she's headstrong. she is LOVELY all by herself, but not only is she overshadowed by her brothers, she feels as though she has to form her whole identity around them. to bring them down a peg some way or another so that she can be enough. but she already is enough and no amount of ritualistic phone calls and obsessive spirals will help her realize that on her own. she needs Actual Help and her family needs to pay more attention to her emotional needs below the surface level neuroticism. she needs a better support group and her own hobbies so she can develop into her own person. :(

#exoticbutterstxt

[ex0toxin]

your vibes are immaculate and ur okuyasus are *chefs kiss* thats a beautiful lil man 👏 what's some of your favorite parts about josuke/okuyasu's dynamic? :0

discovered this in my drafts and i’ll put it under a cut bc its! VERY FUCKING LONG LMFAO

i think my favorite thing about the josuyasu dynamic is how different they are? like, on the surface they look similar with both of them being entrenched in japanese delinquent culture and aesthetics, but theyre super different in like every other angle!

for one, economic background: okuyasu, while enjoying a middle class life for his toddler years, was basically destitute and very lower class for most of his remembered experience bro lived in squalor the coal mines fr. josuke has lived comfortably middle/upper-middle class his entire life rlly well displayed in the shigechi arc where okuyasu says he'll be putting his lottery winnings into savings + josuke calls him boring and says he's gonna buy a nice new suit with a sexy silhouette like okay gayboy. josuke has NO long term goals or thinking, he just lives life by the day, whereas okuyasu who is shown to have very poor emotional impulse control, still thinks far into the future about when this money will get him out of a tight spot we love a king who thinks (not josuke)

life experience: okuyasu's mom bite the fucken dust FAST LMFAO + he helped his brother kill people + his father beat him + keicho was emotionally abusive + and then his dad turned into snot + ratio + L + rip bozo etc. okuyasu is extremely traumatized :/ he's had to deal with the crushing pressure of financial instability, his dad's abuse and then his dad's 'disability',(condition is probably a better word but disability is very adjecent? idk the nijidad arc has elder abuse vibes as well) and his brother's control issues and neuroticism, and then with the responsibility of all those lives on his hands from the arrow hunting like gawt DAM at least let him grow some fucking chest hair babe DKSAJNASJIFLF so he never grew up with anything stable, other than the longterm goal of solving the problem of his dad's goopification like . zoinks

josuke grew up very privileged, tho not to say he didn't/doesnt experienced social ostracization and bullying at the hadns of his peers and small community for being a biracial bastard w/ a single mom and dressing like a lil freak etc, but his grandpa and mom were a very tight knit support system for him. he's solidly middle class, never moved houses and uprooted himself, has generous spending money, etc. at the beginning of diu you can see he's a lot more bratty and uncaring and even a little selfish, with the callousness he showed towards okuyasu's "death" during the rhcp fight, the rage towards angelo (though justified lmfao pop off), and his overprotectiveness of his appearance. the dude definitely had some way different challenges compared to okuyasus literal murder accomplice shit

grief wise!! my friend noticed that once josuke and okuyasu met eachother, they became sort of "grief soulmates"!! here's what my friend wrote about it:

"the traumas that okuyasu has are all "historical" in some way, rooted pre-canon in deep ways, which can even extend to keichos death in a way because of how the causality works out, and it's the mirror opposite for josuke who has a completely grief-free life until canon starts and brings with it this change in status quo that caused him to develop these new experiences that ended up having claws

so @ the same time as josuke is learning that the world is sometimes awful in truly desperate ways, he's kinda on a 'downward' trajectory in terms of hope and idealism, okuyasu is on his way up because the same change in events actually mark an improvement for him !!! and so they end up meeting in the middle a bit and helping each other stabilise as mirror images

which is that josuke is reaching "out" for comfort, because it's home and closeness thats suddenly new and dangerous, which suits okuyasu well bc hes reaching in, because he has these new centres of comfort and stability in josuke and their friend network + more literally the infrastructure of the town canon connects him with"

basically theyre opposites when it comes to trauma, okuyasu's life is on an incline (kira's murderspree isnt exactly strange to him, even if its still upsetting) and josuke's is on the decline with his grampy drinking murder juice

uhmm another cool thing is personality wow like 4893583459738 words in and im just now remembering to talk about their actual chemistry instead of thematic parallels (i have diseases) but okuyasu being impulsive and brash all the time but when it comes to extremely upsetting things [ie keicho's death, his OWN death and revival] hes like like :/ #yikes. vc josuke who is at all times trying to be the COolest and Most Epic Guy but also has bonkers anger issues and shits himself when he gets one (1) insult <3 the Balance............

theres like so much i want to put in this manifesto im SWEATING LMFAO but my last point i wanna cover is why theyre friends in the first place!! josuke is a ficking loser with no friends mentioned until koichi (who i firmly believe is fucking insane and just pretends to be normal) and then oku + the others. josuke bc of his baggage has never had any homies so hes super independent!! and okuyasu who relied on keicho(not entirely out of choice but if i start talking about keicho im gonna be here for another 500000000 words) so like!!

idk oku immediately latching onto josuke as his next guidestone in place of keicho is so :) ! im gonna shut up now bc ive had this in the drafts since feb and i just need to close my laptop WKALSKJDLKAJDKS hopefully.... this is not just insane ramblings but if it is then. yea .

#long post #im a bit (very) drunk rn so apolofgies if this isnt the most coherent i really tried to make it readable #josuyau is so good man #wow i wrote this in february #looking thru my drafts like . #hm #anyways #DNSKLA;FBHSDU9OI

[here4theheartbreak]

Eat the Rich (Because They're Rotund and Delicious) (JinKook)

AO3 Link Here!

Relationships: Jin x Jungkook Genre(s): Smut, Dark (ish), Dark Humor

Rating: Explicit Tags: smut, dark au, serial killers, cannibalism, vigilantism, serial killer Jungkook, non-graphic violence, dirty talk, bottom!Jungkook, top!Jin, rough sex, bareback, coming untouched

Summary: Jungkook had a mission. That mission may involve killing people and burying the bodies. It's going great... Until the bodies go missing.

Word Count: ~6.5k A/N: Written for @bangtanxm​ ‘s March drabble prompt! If you love mxm bangtan go check us out! We have a discord open as a safe and welcoming community for mxm readers, writers, betas, etc.

From an objective standpoint, most people would say that murder was bad. But on a more broad scale – is anything really objectively bad or good? Could certain things, seen as unlawful and therefore as “bad” by the wider community, be good in some circumstances? Jungkook believed the answer to that was yes. Jungkook was had also killed six people in the last year alone, so he knew his response may have been somewhat biased.

It wasn’t that Jungkook planned to become a serial killer, those he killed just sort of ended up under his knife, so to speak… But that wasn’t entirely true. He planned his kills, down to the finest detail. It was how he escaped notice for so long. The victims deserved their punishment anyway, and it wasn’t as if he enjoyed what he did.

Except the look in their eyes when the pain from his initial slice, always a paper-thin nick between the fingers, almost too shallow to bleed, hit them… That was fun. Or the way they begged for forgiveness as if he were a priest taking last rites. Jungkook was no priest. He was a punisher, some would even call him a devil.

But the devil was the men and women he killed. The lives he snuffed out for the greater good of the community. He wasn’t a serial killer, he was saving people. He never killed an innocent man or woman, he never killed anyone that had a chance of being saved, or even those that would be caught for their crimes. No, he killed the ones that got away with it. The ones that hurt their children and the system turned a blind eye. The ones that rigged ballots and bribed the police. The ones that leered at school girls and boys and kept encrypted files of despicable material on their computers. Jungkook didn’t hurt anyone that didn’t deserve it.

The punishment in today’s world never fit the crime, his adoptive brother always ranted. Really, it was Namjoon that he got the idea from. His brother was a genius, and passionate about justice and the law… But he was soft. He was passive. All bark and no bite. But Jungkook could bite. So, he started listening to his brother’s rants. Memorizing names and researching himself, determining if the person was really as evil as Namjoon had implied. Most of the time the answer was yes. Jungkook drew his first blood when he was sixteen, a porcine lawyer in his forties that had bribed the judge to let a fraudulent business owner off the hook. The man had tried to bribe Jungkook too, saying he would pay for his college, get his family into a nice home, give him any sum of money if he would just let him go. The hot, bitter spray of the man’s punctured carotid artery was sweeter than any bag of Banana Kick he’d ever had. Just over a month later, he sliced the throat of the fraudulent businessman and buried him in the same deep grave as his (now literally) slimy lawyer.

Jungkook had been doing his job for four years when he met Jin. Tall, broad shouldered, an amazing cook, and stunning in both looks and personality (and bed, Jungkook learned a few months after their first date) – Jin was everything he dreamed of in a partner. And what was more, Jin didn’t seem to question his unwillingness to talk about his background before he was adopted by Namjoon’s parents, or his quirks that other partners had found obsessive, clingy, or annoying. Jin also didn’t mind the odd hours he kept, and that was vital. Lover or not, Jungkook wasn’t going to give up on his work. So a year later, when Jin asked him to move into his spacious apartment, Jungkook almost said no. But his affection for Jin, and his trust in him, despite his vow to himself that he would never trust someone outside of his adoptive family, made him say yes.

And things were going splendidly. That was, until Jungkook turned on the news one morning while Jin cooked breakfast only to find out that the location of his dumping grounds for the past twelve months was being dug up and converted into an apartment complex.

He made a point to switch dumping grounds every year so his kills wouldn’t be so overcrowded. He also made a point to clean up his mess to the point of neuroticism… But the risk was always there. His psychiatrist as a young teen had called him obsessive compulsive, and even Namjoon had mentioned it a few times, but Jungkook preferred organized. He needed things done a certain way, that was all. And Jin didn’t seem to mind. If anything, Jin was similar, especially when it came to the industrial style kitchen he used to manage his catering service.

Panic settled in like a heavy stone in the pit of Jungkook’s stomach, ruining his appetite for breakfast and his ability to focus on his work that day. He kept the news on constantly, updates about the building project. What would the headline say, he wondered? Serial killer burial ground discovered? Maniac graveyard unearthed? Six corpses found – serial murderer at large? Getting caught was something Jungkook had frankly never planned for. He was doing a good thing. He was helping. He was careful. This wasn’t supposed to happen.

Two days later, the news showed the plot of land. It had been almost entirely dug out. Surely deep enough to uncover the remains of his victims. Panic turned to confusion. Why would the police hide the discovery of the bodies? He’d murdered some wealthy people; their relatives were offering large sums of money for information. This would make headlines. Or it should have, at least.

Finally, the tension got to be too much for Jungkook. Late Saturday night, when he knew the construction site would be shut down, Jungkook donned his hoodie and snuck out of the apartment, citing a need for a jog at Jin’s adorable and questioning glance.

He drove as far as he dared before getting out and walking to the site, pulling up his hood to hide his face from cameras that may be lurking. As he’d suspected, when he shined his flashlight over the dig, it was definitely deep enough to have unearthed every one of his corpses. And not to mention, it was directly over where the majority of them were – at one point – buried. The flashlight swept over the gargantuan yellow machinery before landing on an innocuous spot behind a bulldozer. His newest victim should have been buried right there.

Jungkook skimmed the area for any obvious cameras before grabbing a shovel and pocketing his flashlight. He was used to doing this in the dark. He began to dig, counting his shovelfuls steadily.

When he reached the allotted number of shovelfuls (the burial had to match the crime) he dropped to his knees and pawed at the wet ground, expecting to drive his hand through a liquifying corpse. But he only pulled out fistfuls of wet dirt. Panic bubbled up in Jungkook’s throat and he spun around on his knees, eyes darting over the construction site. He didn’t make a mistake. Jungkook didn’t make mistakes. This was where she was supposed to be. Jungkook pressed his palms against his temples, a low groan vibrating from the pit of his stomach. His breathing increased as he replayed the murder in his mind. How could he be so useless? A mistake like this would cost him everything. His family would hate him, Jin—Oh God, Jin would leave him, he’d end up rotting in jail, he was so fucking stupid.

A voice seemed to whisper through the night, calling his name. If he believed in ghosts, he’d say it was the ghosts of the ones he’d killed, asking where their bodies were? What good was he as a savior if he couldn’t even lay them to rest properly?

The voice echoed again, a little stronger and louder. Jungkook opened his eyes, pulling his flashlight out and flicking it on. The beam darted over the various machinery before landing on a human shaped form a few feet away. Jungkook gasped, jerking backwards. His hand clenched around the shaft of the shovel and lifted it. The person raised their hands in surrender and lifted one hand higher, shoving the black hoodie back from their face.

“Seokjin?” Jungkook hissed.

“Yeah, it’s me, Jungkook. Just me.”

“What are you doing here?”

Jin smiled softly, taking a tentative step toward Jungkook. “You’re not going to find her.”

“Who?”

“The body. Don’t worry. They’re all gone. You won’t be caught.”

Instead of relaxing him, Jin’s words knotted Jungkook’s nerves a hundred times more tightly. “I—I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“JK. Come on. I’ve known you for two years. You think I didn’t know? I’ve known since before you moved in.”

Jungkook gripped the shovel tighter, rising to his feet. Jin’s eyes darted down to the shovel and back to Jungkook’s tense face. “Hey… I know you’re scared.”

“You can’t know.”

“I’ve known for a while, baby. Just put the shovel down. I promise, your secret is safe. Nobody will find any traces here. Let’s go home. It’s cold and late.” Jin took a tentative step forward, but stopped when Jungkook raised the shovel a few inches.

“How do you know?” He hissed.

“I will explain it all. I just would prefer to do so at home.”

“No! How! You can’t know! You—You can’t, you wouldn’t understand…” Jungkook began to shake, his vision greying as he gasped for breath. Jin rushed forward and Jungkook tried to swing. He was too slow, and Jin caught his wrist, squeezing and twisting just enough to get him to lose his grip on the shovel. It fell with a thud to the dirt. Jin wrapped his arms around Jungkook, pressing a kiss to his forehead.

“I do understand, Jungkookie. I do. I promise, I don’t hate you, I understand. I love you. Please, let’s go home, safe, so I can talk to you, hm?”

Jungkook shivered in Jin’s grip, his mind racing like a rabbit on a track. Jin couldn’t. He had to be hallucinating or worse. Nobody would understand. They’d think he was a monster, they’d hate him and leave him all alone. And maybe he was a monster – he killed people.

Jungkook barely noticed as Jin pulled him forward, keeping a firm arm around his shoulders. He let Jin push him into the passenger seat of the car and buckle him in, his entire body feeling numb and cold. He’d been so careful. There was no way Jin could know. The reality of what Jin said was really hitting him; he knew, he’d known for a while, he didn’t leave. Why didn’t he leave? Nobody wanted to be around a freak that murdered people. Unless he was a freak himself. Jungkook glanced over at Jin. Was he a murderer? Did he kill at random? Would he kill Jungkook now that the secret was out?

Questions circled round and round in Jungkook’s head, each without an answer and each more concerning than the last. Even as they reached the apartment, Jin hadn’t spoken a word. Which was potentially most concerning. Jin was always happily chatting during their car trips, almost to the point that it drove Jungkook crazy at times. The silence was worse.

They entered the apartment Jungkook had called home for a year, and Jin guided him to the couch, sitting him down before disappearing into the kitchen.

What was next? Jungkook wondered as he sat on the couch. Was there any coming back from this? Jin returned shortly, carrying two steaming mugs. He set them on the coffee table and took a seat next to Jungkook.

“Can you look at me, baby?”

“Do you hate me?” Jungkook whispered. His voice sounded hollow to his ears, ragged from stress and fear.

“I love you,” Jin said firmly. He grabbed Jungkook’s chin and tilted his head up, their gazes meeting. “I love you and that’s why I didn’t tell you I knew. I knew it would send you spiraling, just like this, it would make you question yourself and me. I thought it would be better if I helped in silence, instead of risking unsettling your patterns.”

“Where are the bodies?”

Jin’s jaw twitched. He glanced at the couch between their laps and then reached out for his mug, sipping at it. “That’s…. Hard to explain,” he whispered.

“What did you do to them?” Jungkook asked again. “I need to know, you know I have to know.”

“I know. I just… Jungkook, you’re not the only one with secrets like this.”

“What do you mean?”

Jin stayed silent a moment. “The bodies will never be found, I can assure you of that.”

“How, Jin?”

“Well, because we… We’ve eaten them.”

Jungkook reeled back on the couch instantly, barely noticing the way Jin shied away from his abrupt movement.

“I had to have misheard that.”

“I cooked them. And we ate them,” Jin whispered, hanging his head.

“No… You’re… I don’t eat people!” Jungkook cried.

“I do. I have for a very long time. I used to…” Jin shrugged. “I used to just make deals with funeral home directors. Little things here and there. A special treat. But when you and I started dating and I found out your secret, it all seemed like fate. I could get a supply of meat and you’d be safe.”

Jungkook covered his mouth, a sick feeling settling into his stomach. “And you fed them… To me.”

“I’m sorry. I just—Once you moved in, I – I couldn’t make up lies for why you couldn’t eat the food I was eating. I went through great lengths to make sure they were safely prepared, just like any other cut of meat.”

Jungkook rose, turning away from Jin. He was full of nervous energy. A knot of nausea and something else… Some undefinable emotion… Rolled around in his stomach. His hands felt clammy and forehead damp with sweat, his muscles were tense and tight. He began to pace, wringing his hands together. “You eat people!”

“Please, Jungkook, please don’t hate me. It worked so well, I was helping, I thought, I—I wanted you to feel safe and I knew telling you the truth would just scare you and I—”

“Because you eat people, Seokjin!”

“And you murder them!” Jin snapped back, shooting up from the couch. “What’s really worse?!”

Jungkook pulled back, his eyes widening. In all the time they’d been together, Jin had never yelled at him, not like that. A tight fist clamped down on Jungkook’s heart at Jin’s words when they sank in past the anger.

Jin sat down, shaking his head. “I shouldn’t have said that.”

“But you did. I know I’m… Different and… What I do a lot of people would say is evil.”

“I don’t—”

“Don’t say you don’t think it, Jin. Please don’t lie to me.”

“I don’t think you’re any worse than me. I truly don’t. I’ve seen the people you murder. They’re not nice.”

“I’ve never hurt someone that didn’t deserve it.”

“I know. I know you haven’t. I didn’t say that to—To imply you’re worse. Just to make you see things my way. I might eat human, and that’s frightening. You kill bad people and that’s also frightening. Why are we saying one is worse than the other?”

Jungkook sank back onto the couch, his brows furrowed together. Jin’s words did make sense. It was… Frightening, looking at the man he thought he knew so well and finding out such a big secret, but he supposed Jin probably dealt with the same when he discovered Jungkook’s secret.

“Have you ever killed, Jin?”

“No. I’ve considered it but you know how squeamish I am.” Jin chuckled a little, rubbing the back of his neck. “I don’t think I could actually stab someone.”

“But you can cut them up?” Jungkook laughed a little. “Isn’t that just as bad?”

“No way. Once they’re dead it’s just another cut of meat. I’ve butchered animals my whole life. It’s just a matter of knowing where the good meat is and how to prepare it.”

Jungkook picked up the tea Jin had brought him and took a small drink, scowling into the dark depths of it. “You’ve fed me… People. How do you know it won’t make you sick?”

“About the same risk as most other meats, I suppose. I would’ve told you but I was trying to avoid well… This.”

“I get it.” Jungkook frowned a little at his own words. In a weird way, he did get it. He was freaked out by it, but it made sense. And it did help him, in the long run. “Thank you for taking care of me.”

“I love you, Jungkook. I really do. All of you, even your darkness.” Jin reached out and took Jungkook’s cup, setting it aside before grabbing his hands. “Are you going to leave me?”

Jungkook looked up, a little surprised. Jin’s gaze was gentle and earnest, his eyes seeming to search Jungkook’s face. In all the time they’d been together, Jungkook had asked regularly if Jin was going to tire of him; it was sort of his thing. But Jin had never asked, never like this.

“You know my secret now,” Jungkook whispered.

“And you know mine. It’s even. We’re bound to silence, in that way I suppose. I’ll never tell. Even if your answer is yes, you want to leave… I’ll keep your secret.”

“I don’t want to leave,” Jungkook admitted. All tension seemed to leave Jin’s body at that.

“You don’t?”

“But there needs to be some rules established,” Jungkook said firmly. Jin nodded.

“I shouldn’t have lied to you.”

“No. I understand why you did it… But I feel violated, Jin. I wish you would have told me you knew, and what you were doing, even if you thought I’d get mad.”

Jin nodded again. Jungkook let go of Jin’s hands and scooted a little closer, holding the back of his neck. “Show me?”

“What?”

“My last kill was just last month… Have we… Eaten… All of her?”

“No.”

“Show me what’s left.”

“Are you sure?”

Jungkook nodded. Jin rose and took his hand, leading him out into their kitchen. Clean and spotless as always; if Jin was obsessive over one thing it was the cleanliness and orderliness of his kitchen. Jungkook was beginning to realize why. He opened the freezer and motioned to the stacks of white wrapped cuts of meat. Some were stained with a brick red, others clean as snow. Jungkook looked over it all, swallowing hard. “I thought this was beef or pork.”

“Not quite.”

“All the meat we’ve eaten in the last year….”

“Mostly human. Some, I mean, of course, some wasn’t. Months you didn’t kill or when we had a dinner party or two, of course the meat would go faster and I’d have to stock up with other animals.”

“You haven’t shopped at the local morgue since we started dating?”

Jin chuckled a little. He reached in and grabbed a couple of packages, putting them into the refrigerator.

“Dinner tomorrow,” he said when Jungkook cocked his head. “And no, I haven’t. Your kills are fresh enough and I’m always able to grab them the night you do them, so they don’t go bad. Then it’s just a matter of butchering it and getting rid of the inedible parts.”

“And what do you do with those?”

Jin grinned. “Not a piece goes to waste. I figured since they were so horrible in life, they may as well be useful in their death. Bones get ground down into fertilizer after I get the marrow out for our own meals or for the food I give some of our friends’ dogs.” He patted his grinder proudly. “The fertilizer goes into the garden, bone dust is a great fertilizer, it’s how my veggies and fruits are always so juicy. I burn the hair – I guess that part goes to waste, and smells something awful. And then the skin either gets added to the dog food or turned into rinds. Brain and a handful of other organs that I just don’t care for get pureed and put in my dehydrator so I can add it to the fertilizer as well. And of course, the meat and organs that are delicious end up in my freezer for our dinners.”

“Those pork rinds! Weren’t pork?” Jungkook spluttered. “I eat like a hundred of those!”

“Delicious, aren’t they? I can’t make them for every person you kill, unfortunately. Only the really girthy ones.”

“So, you’re saying if I kill more overweight criminals, you’ll make me pork rinds more often?”

Jin laughed. “Well, I can’t say that they’ll be pork rinds, but I can make them. But not too often. We only eat so much meat and bigger people usually also give bigger cuts of meat.”

Jungkook nodded. He turned, looking around the kitchen he’d grown so familiar with, seeing it in an entirely new light this evening. Now he could visualize the grinder filled with the bones of his victims, the cutting boards stained rusty with their blood. His stomach twisted in a delightful little knot, surprising him. He’d been doing his work alone for so long. While he was okay with that… Maybe having someone to share it with wasn’t such a bad idea.

Jin’s hands landed on his shoulders, brushing his nose and lips gently over Jungkook’s ear. “You okay?” He asked softly.

Jungkook turned, staying close to Jin. He nodded, brushing their noses together. “You’ve known for a while.”

“I have.” “How did you find out?”

Jin stepped back, rubbing the back of his neck. “Before you moved in. I didn’t mean to… When I was at your place, I accidentally saw one of your victim’s schedules on your computer. It was unlocked and I’d planned on hopping on to check a news article I wanted to show you. But it bugged me, so I researched the man afterward. I didn’t put it together until he went missing the following week. So then I dug on purpose… Just a little. I know I shouldn’t have, but I couldn’t get it out of my head. Then one night I followed you. And I saw you.”

“But you didn’t… Run away screaming or tell.”

Jin shook his head. “I’d seen the type of people you were looking into. They were ones the world is better off without. I asked you to move in with me instead… So I could keep you safe.”

Jungkook chuckled a little. “You see a serial killer and ask him to live with you. Aren’t you a little afraid of me?”

“No.”

Jungkook cocked his head, surprised at the answer. “But I kill people.”

“Bad ones. I’m not bad. You love me.”

“You eat people… You’ve never thought about eating me? Even in passing?”

Jin shook his head. “You’re much more fulfilling for me alive. You make me happy and feel complete… The only time I want to eat you is in bed.” Jin winked. A bubble of laughter rumbled out of Jungkook before he could stop it, his face heating up.

“Really?” He cried.

Jin grinned broadly, the stunning smile that had drawn Jungkook in when they first met. “What? Bad timing?”

“Horrible timing,” Jungkook cried with no venom, shoving Jin playfully. Jin laughed and stepped forward, wrapping his arms around Jungkook’s middle.

“You’ll really stay?”

“I’ll stay. You were right. We both have secrets… We both have things we hid that we probably shouldn’t have… But I do love you, and I trust you. And I’m willing to work with you on it.”

Jin’s smile softened a little. “Me too… Would it be bad timing to try and kiss you now?”

Hm… Only a quick one. I need a shower. I smell like dirt.”

“Sorta.” Jin brushed their noses gently. “Can I join you?”

Jungkook let his arms rest loosely over Jin’s shoulders. “That just sounds like a proposition.”

“A bit. You’ve been so stressed over the construction work… You realize you’ve barely looked at me, let alone anything else.”

Jungkook scowled. He thought back, trying to come up with some argument to refute Jin’s claim. But he realized that his lover was correct; since the construction news had begun, he’d barely thought of anything else. Especially something intimate.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered instead.

“Don’t be. I knew what was bothering you. I wanted so badly to say something but I knew it wouldn’t… End well. So, I just figured I’d wait until you did the inevitable… Went and looked. And then I would.”

“You can shower with me. I’ll make it up to you.”

Jin shook his head. “You don’t need to. I mostly just want to be close to you. With everything, I guess the prospect of losing you was too real tonight. I’ve never told anyone about what I do and with everything…”

Jungkook silenced Jin with a gentle kiss. Their lips molded perfectly together, the light tickle of Jin’s breath on his cheek as he deepened it, the way their tongues brushed almost instinctively over the connection between their mouths. Jungkook pulled back, nudging Jin’s cheek with his nose.

“I get it. Thank you for sharing with me, no matter how it came out. And thank you for not judging me for my own secrets.”

Jin answered wordlessly, opting instead to kiss Jungkook once more, a deeper, needier one that sent sparks of need down Jungkook’s spine.

“Come shower with me,” Jungkook whispered, letting his arms drop from Jin’s shoulders. He grabbed his hand and tugged him toward the bathroom.

They both stripped wordlessly, sharing quick kisses and soft smiles as they did. Though they had done this about a hundred times in their years together, this felt… New somehow. Jungkook wasn’t sure if it was the knowledge that he wasn’t the only one with such a dark secret, or the weight that was lifted from his shoulders at sharing his secret after so long, but whatever it was, it made everything feel fresh. Jungkook’s heart skipped a beat when Jin’s hands slid down his biceps and across his bare stomach. Jungkook leaned over, slipping out of the back hug to turn on the water. He didn’t bother to hide the little cry of surprise when Jin cupped his ass and squeezed.

He shot upright and Jin wrapped his arms around him, spinning him so they were chest to chest and nearly nose to nose. “I missed this,” Jin whispered. He pressed soft kisses over Jungkook’s cheek and neck, letting his teeth graze his shoulder

Jungkook relaxed into his arms, resting his head on Jin’s shoulder and inhaling. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“Fighting you. Scaring you. Hiding this. Thank you for taking care of me.”

“I’ll always take care of you, Jungkook. I love you.”

Jungkook smiled against his skin, sighing contentedly when Jin nipped at his earlobe playfully. “Water’s warm by now. Come on,” he whispered releasing his grip on Jungkook.

The two climbed into the shower and fell into a rhythm learned from their time together, taking turns with the spray of the water, passing bottles and loofas to one another between water wet kisses. Jungkook washed Jin’s back, kissing his shoulders as he did, the hot spray of the water soothing his own muscles. They switched, and Jin did the same. His attention, however, shifted decidedly more to the point quite quickly. He pressed against Jungkook, allowing him to feel his hardness against his ass. Jungkook leaned his head back, shifting his own hips back to tease.

Jin’s breath hitched, and Jungkook smirked. It was his turn to gasp when Jin reached around and palmed his slowly hardening cock. He began to stroke it with a soap slicked hand, placing kisses along Jungkook’s shoulder.

Jungkook giggled, wiggling his hips back against Jin again. “At least let me rinse off,” he whined. Jin grumbled against his skin but stepped back, letting Jungkook step under the warm spray. As soon as the suds had rolled from his body, Jin was pressing him to the wall of the shower, lips warm and wet and desperate. Jungkook buried his fingers in Jin’s hair. Their bodies shifted together, each moving just enough to drag little whines and sighs from the other.

Jungkook pulled back, pushing Jin back a few inches and slapping the shower off. “Bedroom.”

Jin grinned in response, stepping out of the shower. They toweled off haphazardly, and hurried into the bedroom, still sharing quick kisses and needy touches as they did so.

The back of Jungkook’s legs hit the mattress before Jin shoved, sending him onto the bed with a satisfying creak of springs. Jin crawled over him, placing open mouthed kisses up his leg and chest before biting gently on his shoulder. Jungkook chuckled. “Thought you didn’t wanna eat me,” he teased.

Jin laughed, huffing warm breath over his skin. “And I warned you I did when we got into bed.” He flipped on the lamp, casting the room in a comforting orangeish glow. He pushed Jungkook’s legs open with his own thigh. “Now if you don’t mind... I’m starting with dessert.” He moved down and spread Jungkook open, running his tongue over his hole.

Jungkook’s back arched, a groan slipping from his mouth before he could stop it. Jin’s fingers dug into his hips as he held him down. He began to lick, suck, and bite at his hole and the sensitive skin around it, obscene noises filling the air. Jungkook whined, twisting Just hips down. He buried his fingers in Jin’s wet hair, tugging as he struggled for more each time Jin pulled back.

Jin drove two fingers into his spit slicked hole, bordering on painful when he spread them. It faded quickly when Jin’s tongue drove into the gap, teasing the hypersensitive nerves just inside his rim.

Jungkook sobbed his name, writhing on the bed. “Please!” He finally begged.

Jin looked up. His lips were plush, wet, and red, chin damp.

“What?”

“Fuck me, please. Please, I need you,” Jungkook begged. His cock twitched on his stomach, seeming to echo his plea.

Jin pouted. He blew a puff of cool air against Jungkook’s gaped hole, causing goosebumps to erupt over his skin.

“But I was enjoying my meal,” he teased. “I wanted to see if I could make you come just from eating you out.”

Jungkook shivered visibly at that. His cheeks warmed as he imagined it. “As sexy as that sounds... Please, Jin... I’d rather come with your cock fucking me open. I’ll let you eat me until I come another night. When I’m less desperate. Please.”

Jin bit his lip, considering.

Jungkook wet his lips. “I’ll let you try it in the kitchen... You can bend me over the counter and eat my ass until I come all over the floor.”

“Fuck,” Jin hissed. “Deal.” He glanced at Jungkook, shaking his head. “But you’re still so tight. I need to prep you more.”

“Just a bit. I want it tight... Like the night you took my virginity. The way I screamed for you... Tonight feels...”

“New,” Jin finished, nodding. He spat against Jungkook’s hole and added a third finger. He began to twist and stretch quickly, locking gazes with Jungkook as he did.

Jungkook remained quiet, chewing his bottom lip against the sting of the abrupt stretch. He pawed their lube out of the drawer and handed it to Jin, whining when Jin poured a bit into the gap made by his fingers. “It’s cold.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll warm it quick.” Jin slicked himself and lined his cock up.

Jungkook lifted one leg, resting it over Jin’s shoulder. He let the other fall to the side. “I’m ready.”

Jin drove his cock in, both crying out at the tightness of Jungkook’s hole. He arched his back and grabbed Jin’s thighs. Jin held onto his hips, beginning to thrust shallowly almost immediately. Jin pushed his leg off his shoulder and laid over Jungkook, twisting his hips to work him open.

Jungkook held onto him, whining and moaning as his body began to get used to the thick penetration. Jin’s teeth grazed his earlobe.

“Jin—“

“Do you need me to stop?” Jin panted, snapping his hips forward for good measure. Jungkook groaned and shook his head no. “No! Please... Keep going. Harder—“

Jin huffed against Jungkook’s shoulder. He obeyed, snapping his hips forward hard enough to make the bed groan.

Jungkook screamed happily. His rim aches delightfully, stretched to the limit whenever Jin pushed as deep as he could go, and again when his tip caught against that little circle of muscle. He felt delightfully full, each inward pump of Jin’s cock bordering on discomfort as he worked himself deep into Jungkook’s body.

His own cock was pinned between them, achingly hard and leaking against his tense stomach, neglected. He never had to touch himself when Jin was fucking him; Jin knew just how to make him come.

Jin pulled out, making Jungkook shout in annoyance. He flipped him onto his stomach and spread his ass, adding more lube before driving back in and laying himself over Jungkook’s back as he began to pound into him from the new position. Jungkook screamed into the pillow, arching his hips up to give Jin better access. Jin found his hands, gripping the sheet under the pillow; and twined their fingers, kissing his neck almost delicately despite the aggressive pumping of his hips.

“That’s it, JK,” he panted, his tone going straight to Jungkook’s belly.

“You take me so well. Open right up for my cock, huh? You love it.”

Jungkook whined and nodded, baring his neck for Jin to kiss and nibble.

“It’s sexier now, isn’t it?” Jin huffed, vocalizing the echo in Jungkook’s mind all night. “Knowing the truth. Knowing what I do. What you do. What I feed you.”

Jungkook whined, nodding. “It is... Please—“

“I’ve fed you them before. Your male victims.”

Jungkook’s face heated up more than he thought possible. “Did I—“

“You loved them. I was actually jealous.” The snap of his hips was almost painful as he spoke. “The night I fucked your face right at the dinner table... Then bent you over and made you come right there...”

Jungkook moaned, his eyes rolling back at both the pleasure and the memory. “It was so good— Oh God! Please — Fuck— You fucked me so good that night...”

“I had to make you mine again,” Jin growled. His hips were beginning to lose their rhythm.

“I’m always yours!” Jungkook cried. He bit down on the pillow and shouted at a particularly good angle, teetering on the edge. “Please! Fuck me, oh God, Jin please— Make me come, come on me, God don’t stop—“ He knew he was rambling; a side effect of his impending climax. Jin obeyed though, leaning back and pinning his hips down. He began to slam into him hard and fast, pulling almost all the way out before driving in as deep as he could go.

Jungkook screamed until his voice broke, his entire body going rigid. His cock throbbed and twitched against the bed, spilling rope after rope of milky come onto the sheets as Jin ooh fed his ass. Each thrust had his balls clenching, another dribble of come added to the puddle.

Jin groaned his name, his own hips twitching. He stiffened and then shuddered, his thrusts slowing and weakening as he came, still pumping into Jungkook.

Jin pulled out gently and collapsed next to Jungkook, his chest heaving as they came down. Jungkook giggled tiredly . “Wow.”

“Wow is right,” Jin panted, wiping sweat from his brow.

Jungkook rested his head on Jin’s shoulder, letting his breathing normalize. He shivered when Jin began to wipe his sticky body down with a wet wipe, moving only as much as was necessary to be well taken care of his lover. Jin chuckled, making Jungkook crack one eye open.

“What?”

“You’re utterly boneless,” Jin joked.

“Take it as a compliment,” Jungkook grumbled, shifting to let Jin pull the come soiled blanket off the bed. “You fucked me good.”

“Oh I do, trust me.” Jin flopped back into bed, kicking the clean sheet over them. Jungkook tilted his head up, pouting his lips for a kiss. When Jin obliged, he smiled. The two laid in silence for a moment, basking on one another’s company.

“So, I have a couple of targets I’m looking at…” He began, cracking open one eye in time to see Jin smirk.

“Who’s on the chopping block?”

“A slimy vice president of a small company or a cop who took a bribe that got a criminal off… Any special requests?”

Jin chuckled. “Well, do you have any special dinner requests?”

“You know I love everything you cook… I have been craving your stew though, you haven’t made it in forever.”

“Are either of these potential carcasses fit?”

“The cop, actually. About my size.”

“If you want stew, I’ll need to butcher something with well worked muscles so I can slow cook it. We do have that dinner party coming up early next month… I bet my stew would be a hit with our friends.”

“Oh, you know it would – Taehyung would die for it.” Jungkook hesitated. “How often do you serve my kills to our friends?”

“Regularly – but not as often as you and I eat them. I don’t want to risk them asking what meat it is if it’s too gamey or unique tasting.”

Jungkook nodded. “I’ll work on the cop then.”

The silence stretched on. Jungkook was deep in thought, considering what he’d learned about his potential next victim, as well as the realization that he was doing it entirely with Jin’s knowledge. Jin cleared his throat.

“I have a question.”

“Sure.”

“I know you want to do this alone and all of that but… Would it be okay if I picked up the carcass fresh? Rather than you burying it?”

Jungkook looked up at Jin, cocking his head. “Well, I guess that makes more sense… Since you know now… Yeah, I’ll text when I’m done. I’ll give you the address ahead of time.”

Jin nodded, relaxing a bit into the bed.

“Maybe I’ll show you how to butcher them.”

“Can you teach me how to cook it too?” Jungkook asked.

“No way.”

Jungkook scowled. Jin grinned. “If I teach you how to cook it, you might become better than me, then what use would I be for you?”

Jungkook laughed, wrapping an arm tight around Jin’s middle. “You’ll always have a place in my life, no matter what.”

“Promise?”

Jungkook smiled against his shoulder. “Promise. Now let’s go to sleep.”

Jin grunted in response, turning the lamp off and nuzzling deeper under the sheet. Jungkook relaxed into his embrace as easy as breathing, a sense of profound comfort slipping over him as he drifted to sleep.

#bangtanarmynet #btsbookclub #armiesnet #ficswithluv #bangtanxm #jinkook #jin x jungkook #jungkook x jin #seokjin x jungkook #jungkook x seokjin #dark themes #vigilantism #cannibalism #serial killer jk #mywriting

[razieltwelve]

Character Design: Part 1 (Introduction)

Today, I’d like to discuss character design. I guess the question on everyone’s lips is: what is the best way to design interesting and engaging characters? The answer is that there isn’t an objectively best way. Each writer has their own approach, and some approaches will work better for some people than for others. If an approach doesn’t suit you, the best course of action may be to keep trying different approaches until you find one that does suit you.

That said, in this series of posts, I will be going over one approach to character design that I’ve found useful.

The Five-Fold Approach

I’ve found that if often helps to consider five different areas when it comes to character design. The aim is to develop an interesting and engaging character by developing a solid grasp of the character across all five areas. These areas are:

Looks, appearance, and mannerisms

Personality

Intelligence

Other abilities

History

Looks, Appearance, and Mannerisms

For many people, this will be the easiest area to flesh out. Essentially, it boils down to what your character looks like. This extends beyond their physical features to the clothes they wear and even the way they carry themselves. In other words, it covers all of the visual cues that other people would perceive when looking at your character.

Here is a brief list of things that you might want to consider:

Physical appearance

Eye colour (e.g., blue or dark brown)

Hair colour (e.g., long or short, black or blond)

Height (e.g., tall or shot)

Build (e.g., skinny or stout)

Distinguishing features (e.g., scars, tattoos, etc.)

Clothing

Upper body (e.g., shirt or tunic)

Lower body (e.g., trousers or shorts)

Footwear (e.g., shoes, boots, or sandals)

Other accessories (e.g., glasses, hats, gloves, etc.)

Mannerisms

Posture (e.g., slouching or standing up straight)

Walking style (e.g., slow, measured walk vs a quick, determined stride)

Facial expressions (e.g., a tendency to scowl or a tendency to smile a lot)

Verbal tendencies (e.g., speaking overly quickly or loudly, stuttering, etc.)

Eye contact (e.g., avoiding or meeting the eyes of others)

Remember, you don’t have to go into too much detail when describing a character’s appearance. Let the reader build their own image of the character in their mind, albeit one shaped by the most important features of the character.

It’s also important to remember that visual cues can and will be interpreted in certain ways. A powerfully built character who gets right into the faces of other people will be perceived as pushy and aggressive. A character who slouches all the time and refuses to make eye contact may be perceived as timid or withdrawn.

Personality

Personality is about how someone thinks, feels, and behaves. Given the background that I come from, I’ve often conceptualised the personality of characters using the Big Five Personality Theory. The theory posits five major groups of personality traits:

Openness to experience. This is basically how open to new experiences someone is. Someone who is rated highly on it will generally be imaginative, original, daring, and will seek out variety over fixed routines.

Conscientiousness. A character who rates highly on conscientiousness will typically be hardworking, persevering, energetic, and likely to plan things in advance.

Extroversion. Someone who rates highly on extroversion is likely to be sociable, fun-loving, affectionate, friendly, and will be energised by social activity.

Agreeableness. This is to do with getting along with others. People who rate highly on agreeableness are often kind, sympathetic, and disposed toward charity, volunteer work, and other pro-social behaviour.

Neuroticism. This is basically about emotional stability. Someone who rates highly on it will tend to worry a lot, be temperamental, self-conscious, and insecure.

As you can imagine, situating your character on all five of these dimensions should give you a fairly good idea of their personality and how they are likely to react in a given situation. There are, of course, other models of personality. Rather than argue about their validity and reliability here, I will simply say that you should use whichever model helps you structure your thoughts best since the objective is to create an interesting and engaging character, not to create a valid and reliable model of personality (let’s leave that to the psychologists).

Intelligence

This shouldn’t need too much of an explanation. Your character’s intelligence is all about the intellectual weaponry they can bring to bear against the challenges they face. However, intelligence can be a tricky thing. People can be very good at one thing and quite poor at another (e.g., someone might excel with numbers but be hopeless when it comes to writing essays).

Here are some of the dimensions along which characters might vary in terms of their intelligence:

Short-term memory

Long-term memory

Visuospatial ability (i.e., how well they deal with visual and spatial information)

Knowledge (i.e., how much knowledge they’ve accumulated and how good they are at using it)

Learning and adaptation (i.e., how quickly they can learn and adapt to novel situations)

Problem solving (i.e., how adept they are at solving problems)

Processing speed (i.e., how quickly they can process information)

Listening skills (i.e., how good they are at interpreting and using auditory information)

Again, these are just some of the facets of intelligence, and you can’t simply declare that a character has excellent short-term memory. You need to put these abilities into context and give readers reasons to believe that character possess the abilities they do. For instance, if you want readers to believe that a character has an excellent memory in a world with magic in it, you could have the character memorise an entire book of spells in an extremely short period of time.

Other Abilities

This area is a grab bag of all the different abilities that your character might have. These can vary wildly depending on the genre and setting that you’re using.

Consider a spy thriller. Your main character might have the following abilities:

Expert marksman

Multilingual

Excellent computer hacker

Good at stealth and infiltration

In contrast, if you’re writing a fantasy novel, your character might have abilities like:

Elite swordsman

Master of ice magic

Can read ancient runes

Can transform into a dragon

One of the most important things to realise is that the abilities your character has will strongly influence the actions that they take. If someone is an expert swordsman, then they might try to fight their way out of a situation. However, if they’re an expert negotiator or someone who can control the minds of others, they might opt for a less bloody approach.

Always keep in mind what abilities your character has and how they might influence their actions. More importantly, try to develop a solid enough grasp of your character’s abilities that you can imagine how they would react or use their abilities in a diverse array of situations.

History

This is all about your character’s past – where they’ve come from and how it has influence them. Some of the things you should definitely establish, at least for yourself if not immediately for the readers (keeping them in suspense can be a good thing), are:

Family and friends

Upbringing

Pivotal events

Schooling/education/training

For many people, their family and friends will be the biggest influence on them. Does your character have brothers or sisters? If so, how do they feel about them? Did they have a best friend as a child? If they did, did that friendship last into adulthood? If not, why did it fail? If you want to create an in-depth, engaging character, you need to be able to answer questions like this.

Similarly, what sort of upbringing did your character have? Someone who was raised by both of their parents in a wealthy household will obviously see the world quite differently from someone who scratched out a living as an orphan on the back streets of a dingy city. Understanding your character’s upbringing will help you to understand how they see the world and what they may want in the future.

It is also critical to make a note of any pivotal events in your character’s life. For instance, if someone lived in a city that was burned to the ground during a brutal war, this is likely to influence their behaviour and views later on. Likewise, if someone found themselves stranded in the wilderness as a child and was forced to fend off wild beasts and survive alone for several months, that too will influence them in the future. In many ways, life is a series of milestones. You need to know what the biggest ones in your character’s life were.

The schooling, education, and other training that a character receives can also prove to be enormously influential. First of all, was your character schooled at all? In many scenarios (e.g., fantasy settings), it may not be common for everyone to be literate. Knowing how to read would thus be a powerful advantage. If they have been schooled, did they pursue further studies? In a fantasy setting, this might mean going to a magical academy. In a more realistic setting, it might mean a normal university, or, in the case of a soldier, a military academy. In all of these examples, the schooling, education, and training that a character has received will undoubtedly influence not only their views but also their abilities and even their intelligence and personality.

To know where someone is going, look to where they have been. To understand where your character is going, you have to understand where they have been and where they’ve come from.

Summary

Designing interesting and engaging characters isn’t always easy. It can take a lot of time and effort. However, you can often make your life easier by making use of a mental scaffold to help structure your thoughts and direct your energy. If you’re not sure what to do, then think of the five areas outlined above:

Looks, appearance, and mannerisms

Personality

Intelligence

Other abilities

History

If you can honestly say that you’ve got a thorough understanding of your character in all five areas, then you’re well on your way to creating a great character.

If you want to read more about my thoughts on writing, you can find those here.

I also write original fiction, which you can find here.

#writing #writing technique #writing advice #writing tips #improving your writing #character development #character design

[lemonpeppermint]

I finished watching Cheese in the Trap a couple of days ago. First of all, I am so in love with this drama, it’s excellent. It has everything - romance, humor, mistery, great acting, which is the most important, and character diversity. It’s pretty much dynamic, which makes it easy to watch, and not only that but 1st ep is more than enough to make you addicted…

It’s unbelievebly realistic. A lot of characters actually remind me of people I know and people in my life. Do I even have to say that Bo-ra and Eun-taek are amazing friends anyone would die to have.

 I personally have never met people like these two, and honestly I hope with my whole heart that someday I do (god, pls make it soon.) 

Obviously they have a special place in my heart when it comes to this drama, they’re so pure. I am sure all of viewers fell in love with these two ever since ep 1.

Seol is such an amazing character. Strong and independant, she’s a real fighter. I don’t mean she does martial arts, but the way she works so hard to make her life better, the effort she puts into everything she does, makes her a hero of the show.

She doesn’t have much, but people envy her because of her determination and strong will to finish her studies, because of her great scores (grades), she’s a perfectionist. In all that aditude towards life, she kept her soft side intact, and she’s not the kind of person who would use another to reach her goals. 

She’s one of the good ones, a bit of an introvert, but kind, reliable, and so fluffyyyyyy.. I’ve already mentioned how I aways wanted my baby sister to be just like her (if I had a baby sister, but I don’t.) 

Two of the most irritating charaters are definitely Son Min-soo and Kim Sang-cheol. They are both Seol’s classmates, but Sang-cheol is her senior who seems like he’s never going to finish his studies. Min-soo is a very shy girl who admires Seol, but eventually ends up cosplaying her lol 

I really really really can’t stand those two. And I will ignore Seol's stalker because that guy is so fake to me, I can't even describe it. They put him in the show to literally make the episodes longer...so I won't be talking about him, that whole character is just absurd.

While I’m still at less prefered characters, I have to mention Baek In-ha played by amazing Lee Sung Kyung. 

I don’t care what anybody says, she’s one of my favourites ever since the beginning. She is hilarious! 

Ok, I admit that materialism is not the greatest trait, and neither is neuroticism, but if you seriously think about her, she’s been through hell. Both she and her brother. I cannot judge a person who’s been abused ever since early childhood, and if the worst thing she’s capable to do is max out a credit card, then go for it, idc, money is here to be spent and the man who took these siblings in is filthy rich. Anyways, she’s hilarious, and behind that neurotic facade is a person full of love and despair. 

Plus her fashion sense is to die for! 

Ok, and now about Yoo Jung. The weirdo. Definition of an introvert. Son of that guy who took in In-ha and In-ho. The best student at uni. Extremely popular. Handsome. Powerful. Every girl wants to date him. He’s actually an anti-hero. I would dare to mark him as a bad guy. And honestly, I am a sucker for those kind of guys. He would kill for Seol if he could.

That’s what I love about him. And I have a feeling that’s what Seol loves about him too. What he seeks from his loved ones is devotion, honesty, unconditional love. If murder was legal, he’d do it for those he loves. And boy can he hold a grudge… But when you sum it up, drama makes you see that people were asking for it. Not all the time, but mainly that was the case. They did incredibly stupid things, and he was sick of it. The only thing he did which actually made me dislike him is framing In-ho to get the beatings of his life and a completely crushed hand which was the ultimate punishment for a great piano player like In-ho. That is so cruel I cannot imagine why would anyone who ever loved somebody like a brother do such thing to him. Often I thought he’s actually a psychopath, for his lack of empathy… I don’t know what to think of him… I like him more than I don’t. 

He’s got a lot of characteristics I’m crazy about but a lot of those which I’d run away from right away too.

I know there was a big fuss about the ending… I didn’t mind it personally. Could they make it a bit better? Yes. Definitely. But it wasn’t too bad in my opinion. At least Jung finally opened Seol’s email after passing by her on the street and I have a feeling that’s a new beginning for them. It would be nice to work on that and make a season 2. There’s a webtoon for all those who want more, if I’m not wrong. Comment bellow if you want to add some info about that. 

For the end, I’ll say something about my favourite character. Baek In-ho.

He’s loud. An extrovert. Fighter for justice. Hardworking. Honest. Righteous. Extremely handsome. Has a painful past. But then you find out he’s also an extremely talented pianist. He acts tough but he’s as soft as a marshmallow. He looks like a bad guy but wouldn’t hurt a fly. His emotional intelligence is super high. I understand why Seol never fell for him though. Girls like her never do. It’s like a natural order of things… Well, Seo Kang-joon did a great job playing Baek In-ho. And I am so happy he got a satisfying closure. He diserves it.

#cheese in the trap #spoiler alert #citt #kdrama #lee sung kyung #baek in ha #seo kang joon #baek in ho #kim go eun #hong seol #park hae jin #yoo jung #nam joo hyuk #kwon eun taek #park min ji #jang bo ra #review #character review #south korea #comment below #let me know what you think

[fahye]

sorry if this has been asked before, but is there a place where we can access your ever growing list of to-reads? been facing a bit of a dry spell lately and i've always enjoyed your recs. also hope you don't mind if i ask where you source original stories to read from? i ask this with the course of honour in mind- found that through your blog- but mostly i am wondering if there is a Great Repository somewhere and i am yet to discover it, or if it's just a matter of following the right people :)

honest to god, this is me just copy-pasting my BOOKS TO READ email draft into this text box. I cannot vouch for the quality of any of them because, obviously, I have not read them, but they were all added to the list because they sound up my alley, or just as reminders to myself because I’ve read other things by these authors.

(I have a lot–a LOT–more books on my to-read list which are literally ON MY SHELF and so never needed to be added to this physical list. but I am not going to list those because we will be here all day.)

most of these are recs from friends or mentioned on podcasts (I recommend galactic suburbia!) or based on good reviews I’ve stumbled across:

Aliette de Bodard - House of Shattered WingsLois McMaster Bujold - Vorkosigan sagaItalo Calvino - Invisible CitiesTessa Crowley - GodspeakerJennifer Cruisie - Bet MeSamuel Delaney - Stars in my Pocket Like Grains of SandCory Doctorow - Down and Out in the Magic Kingdom, Little BrotherThoraiya Dyer - Crossroads of CanopyJoseph Fink - Welcome to Night Vale Max Gladstone - Three Parts DeadNicola Griffith - HildJoe Haldeman - The Forever WarRobert Heinlein - The Moon Is A Harsh MistressChristopher Hibbert - The House of Medici, The BorgiasN.K. Jemisin - The Fifth Season, The Obelisk GateShirley Jackson - The Haunting of Hill HouseAlaya Dawn Johnson - The Summer PrinceAmie Kaufman & Jay Kristoff - IlluminaeMary Robinette Kowal - Valour and VanityJustine Larbalestier - My Sister Rosa, RazorhurstCixin Liu - The Three Body ProblemSarah J. Maas - A Court of Thorns and Roses seriesWalter Moers - The City of Dreaming BooksNnedi Okorafor - Who Fears DeathBob Proehl - A Hundred Thousand WorldsNatasha Pulley - The Watchmaker of Filagree StreetBrandon Sanderson - MistbornEmily Skrutskie - The Abyss Surrounds UsAngela Slatter - VigilCharles Stross - GlasshouseCathrynne Valente - Deathless, RadianceGenevieve Valentine - Persona, Icon

in terms of original stories posted for free online: I am yet to read course of honour, and the last time I read an online serial it was CAPTIVE PRINCE, ON LIVEJOURNAL, so I am not exactly sitting on a dragon-like hoard of them, alas.

NOTE FOR MY BELOVED FOLLOWERS: please, for the love of everything, do not leap in to tell me five more things that should be on this list. usually I enjoy getting recs, but I am not in the greatest space at the moment when it comes to my overachiever neuroticism and tendency to shout at myself about Things I Am Not Doing And Should Really Be Doing, so I am not in the mood to lengthen any to-do lists. thank you.

#books

[devanhadlock]

My brother found a old photo of me. I was looking more gay then long before I ever tripped and fell on my first wiener. In other news the manager at my favorite food place announced to a long line of customers that she knew me and that I was her therapist. Literally all I’ve done is listen to her ramble as she prepares my food. She’s is Not sleeping because boyfriend won’t leave her alone and wants sex all the time. Her regional boss is a yatch and that sort of thing. I shivered though at the pronouncement of my involuntary new role as therapist. This last visit she came and took over for her line workers position so she could talk to me while she made my meal. The drama was real. I pretended to be rushing somewhere so she kindly yelled out while I scurried away for me not to worry because she’d find my number so we could talk. Felt like a threat to me. So Instead of digesting my food I spent the next hr wondering if I’d ever given the place my info or if she’d actually find a way. Now I have to learn her schedule so as to avoid her or just find a new favorite place. Why won’t Jesus answer my prayers? Also I use YouTube as a lose oracle / divination tool of sorts. Between its algorithms and what I’d like to think is divinely guided timing of certain things I get answers sometimes. This mornings answer came in the form of a jungian psychological discussion of neuroticism. Wait....maybe Jesus is speaking to me through YouTube.... hmmm anyway I’m 100% who they were describing. So I’d like to take this wonderful revelatory moment and extend it into a year of therapy with a brilliant psychologist I found. My birthday is soon so I will be accepting love donations for my mental health journey. Also I realized today that my butt hair will someday soon be thicker than my head hair. Already longer. Not much to do here besides committing more wholeheartedly to said therapy. #gaytherapy #neurotic (at Park City, Utah) https://www.instagram.com/p/BtRXWSXH3yA/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1174ws0fa9q6d

#gaytherapy #neurotic