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#living up to other's expectations
slymanner · 7 months
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hurt my heart why dontcha.
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alliluyevas · 2 years
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starting girl scout cookie discourse. if you’ve had girl scout cookies from both bakeries, do you prefer little brownie bakers (tagalongs, samoas) or abc bakers (peanut butter patties, caramel delites). also is your preference the same as the girl scout cookie you grew up with?
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terriblygrimm · 8 months
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“The other thing that was very important to me was finding a way to tell this story so that fans and non-fans alike could understand that were it not for his sister, Spock could not fully actualize himself with Kirk. When they say goodbye, she says, “I want you to find the person who is least like you,” and she’s obviously talking about Kirk. Spock takes that advice, and she’ll never know it.” - Alex Kurtzman
friendly reminder that michael’s last line to spock is about his future with kirk
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dianartemiss · 1 year
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i think what Jason wants (from Bruce at least) is to be loved transcendentally. he wants to be loved with earth shattering intensity, the kind that'll raze the world to the ground when lost and inspire greatness when present. Jason wants to mean something and to matter more than anything except for (maybe) another (worthy) human. Jason wants to be shown love in the way that he experiences love. but that kind of exclusive focus is impossible when your dad is Batman.
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zishuge · 5 months
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Mysterious Lotus Casebook (2023) | Ep. 19
#mysterious lotus casebook#莲花楼#li lianhua#fang duobing#cheng yi#zeng shunxi#cdramaedit#mlcedit#*gifs:mine#remember when llh tells fdb “we can't always live up to the expectations of others – maybe li xiangyi never expected so much from you”#first time i saw it i was like TAKE YOUR OWN ADVICE! but then i realized that for li xiangyi it wasn't simply “others”#it was “the whole world and everyone he knew including himself”*#because no one's expectations of li xiangyi were ever higher than li xiangyi's#and of course we all know that the second something went wrong most of sigu sect immediately laid the blame at his feet#but fdb is saying that no... everyone's expectations of li xiangyi were bullshit actually#the standards were simply unattainable#li lianhua told fang duobing “maybe li xiangyi never expected so much from you”#and this is fang duobing telling him “maybe li xiangyi should never have expected so much from himself”#and you can see li lianhua's entire worldview shifting just a little to the right (gifs 3+5)#and that soft smile at the end. which of course leads into “to my new friend. my best friend.” lsakjfdsldfkjasldk#it's not enough to change his mind really – it's too little and much too late to drown out a decade of self-loathing and guilt#but i wonder – if fang duobing had been able to be by his side for those ten years#telling him this again and again and again#you weren't perfect. you didn't need to be. you were young. you were trying. you were good. you were so good.#if li lianhua might have been able to heal that terrible rift inside himself#aughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh#translation notes: it made me chuckle that iqiyi's translation for gif 6 was: “they're just a bunch of selfish posers” very succinct.#also this lighting was so difficult to color ack i never really know what to do with a super green bg#*shifu as the only exception and thus shifu remains forever the best.
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uncanny-tranny · 1 month
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Something I realized (which was obvious to me subconsciously) is that... The family that vehemently didn't accept me when I first came out but now do accept me are still the same family that I am most unwilling to be open about things I feel protective over.
I remember that my dad reacted so poorly, not to my coming out, but to my transition specifically that my therapist was the one to ask if I wanted to put it on my file that I wanted nothing to ever be shared with him about my health after I broke down multiple times due to my anxiety that I would never transition. While there are and were protections for me, I was incredibly fearful at the time because I was a minor, and I was so worried that he would have prevented my transition that I couldn't have said for certain what (if any) lengths he would have gone to to prevent that.
He's grown a lot as a person, and made some commendable strides. But he didn't find out from me when I medically transitioned the second I turned eighteen, and I think that's among the things that truly made him realize the scope of the issue.
I'm not here to guilt trip parents, guardians, or other members responsible for the care of the children or teens or young adults in their care.... but this is a cautionary tale. You aren't saving the people in your care when you do this, you simply reinforce an idea that you will never care for them, never want them as they are, would rather them be shoved away.
When you give people reasons to be secretive, they will behave secretively. When you give people reasons to doubt their safety around you, they will become sneaky, defensive, and withdrawn. When you give people reasons to doubt that you value their life, they will believe that you don't care if they live or not.
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herotune · 6 months
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so much shadow around us. to think we almost missed the light...
(a belated entry for wyll week day 6! favorite ship...i adore them ok)
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possamble · 10 days
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do you have any particular thoughts regarding marcille being a half-elf? its interesting to me considering the fact that she seems self-conscious about being a half-elf, but denies it when its brought up
i remember marcille looking visibly uncomfortable over laios simply asking her how old she is, which i think the only reason she might feel nervous about this is because it might reveal her as a half-elf to him.
she's never corrected anybody whose called her an elf either.
never mind the circumstances of the reveal, in which thistle goes on about how half-elves are inferior and accusing her of wanting to become full blooded elf, she seemed particularly upset like he struck a nerve-
i wish the half-elf thing was built upon more. also, underrated marcille line:
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okay so i revisited this sequence just to make sure I could back myself up and it's just... man. there's a lot going on.
the first reaction we get from Marcille is this huge panel that takes up half of the page
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she is viscerally affected. flushing to the tips of her ears with the intensity of it. and we see it again, a few pages later
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so it might seem like she's embarrassed about it and lying to herself, but... I really think it's just that Thistle is accidentally hitting sore spots. If you really look at what he says to get these reactions
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"you'll live out your entire life [...] and die that way too"
"a hundred years from now, nobody will be there"
Hear me out. I think, if he stuck to harping on about her inferiority without bringing up how terrifyingly long-lived she is, she wouldn't have been as bothered. But right now, Thistle is accidentally hitting all the marks on Marcille's deepest fears-- and this is after the Winged Lion promised her that her dreams could come true in an extremely vulnerable moment, so it also hits her slightly guilty conscience as well.
I do truly believe that Marcille isn't bothered about being a half-elf the way that people assume she'd be bothered by it. To her, the biggest problem with being a half-elf is that it's isolating.
On one hand, it's not hard to imagine why she'd distance herself from elves in the west. A lot of them can clock her as a half-elf on sight, unlike other races, and therefore she's always branded with this weird stigma of being Othered -- I would even say that she considers herself lucky for being born outside of elven culture instead of having to grow up in it. I mean, just... look at the way elves talk about her.
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Skipping past the uncomfortable implication of what 'not tolerating the existence' of half-elves would actually entail, this is incredibly fucking annoying. You can see why she wouldn't want to be around elves much. You see a lot of Marcille reacting badly here, but honestly, almost all of it can be attributed to her freaking out that her bluff completely failed. She's honestly more paying attention to Izutsumi's footsteps and trying to coordinate an opportunity to escape.
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And in the end, you see her built-up frustration at being asked if she wants to be a full-blooded elf like 2-3 times in a row.
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Yeah, yeah, "the lady doth protest too much," and all. But we know Marcille. We know that she's a lot more embarrassed and horrendously unconvincing when she's being prodded about something she's actually self-conscious about.
Moving onto the flipside of things, it might seem weird that she "pretends" to be a full elf around other races, but it's not really that strange if you think about it. Again, people are weird about her being infertile or whatever, and a lots of them don't even know much about what sets half-elves apart from everyone else. I mean, look at how uncomfortable Laios is just asking her about it
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and look at how exasperated and resigned she looks
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And like... she's right. Where would that come up in normal conversation? Why would she go out of her way to tell them? She's functionally a normal elf to other races anyway -- got the ears, the abnormally long "childhood", and the huge mana capacity. Unless it's directly relevant or important for people to know, I don't think it's all that strange or indicative of insecurity that she prefers not to bother with it.
(This combined with her sense of being an "outsider" to elf culture also explains why she thinks elf superiority is embarrassing. She sees the way elves treat short-lived races from the "outsider" perspective nonetheless, and thinks it's obnoxious; especially more so because she usually has to play the elf around short-lived races and deal with the reputation of arrogance that elves have built up.)
The sad thing is, this all means that... she doesn't actually fit in anywhere. She doesn't like going out West much because of how elves treat her. But she's also an outsider in the continents she was born in, treated like this exotic long-lived alien choosing to live among short-lived races for some reason. She is always an outsider, the Other, no matter where she goes. Add in the fact that she'll live longer than literally anyone she knows, and it's honestly kind of heartbreaking.
And I think that's the crux of it. Marcille really doesn't act like she's at all self-conscious about being a half-elf because of any feelings of inferiority or being half-made or whatever. She considers herself a perfectly legitimate being and might even, in some ways, consider herself superior to normal elves because she's not blind with elf supremacy or whatever. (And whatever "elven biases" she displays, all of them are born more out of the fact that she's kind of bad at conceptualizing how other races age and mature compared to herself, not that she actually considers herself better or more mature simply for being an elf.)
I think that whatever self-consciousness Marcille has about being a half-elf is, instead, related to terror and loneliness. The reminder that it ensures she'll never truly belong anywhere for the rest of her very long life. The reminder that, in truth, even she's not actually sure how old she is by other races' standards (hence the discomfort when asked how old she is). She doesn't want to not be a half elf, or be a full elf or full tall-man-- in her ideal world, she's still a half-elf. She just gets to live out her life at the same pace with the people she loves and doesn't have to say goodbye again and again and again until she dies.
and one last very important panel, right after Mithrun tells her that all her desires would be devoured
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In her ideal world, she's still a half-elf and reality magically starts marching at her pace. But failing that, the second best thing is that she's still a half-elf-- but one who is able to accept reality and let go of her fear.
(But the rest of the story pans out the way it does because, to Marcille, taking reality apart and reshaping it was less scary than simply and fully reconciling with it.)
#asks#dungeon meshi manga spoilers#marcille donato#manga panel analysis#this is probably riddled with typos sorry#readmore cut bc it got long lmao#i ended up babbling about it bc it's such an important character detail to me#bc like... wow. she's so normal about it. she's literally just chilling.#the only thing that really bothers her is the material reality of it and how people treat her#the stereotypes the stigma etc. etc.#otherwise it just..#literally doesn't factor into her criteria for self-worth at all#the basic truth is that marcille likes herself on a fundamental level#she's not plagued by a deep and festering self-loathing the way a lot of characters in her archetype are#she likes herself and is proud of her successes and accomplishments#its just that shes terrified of failure and can have *episodes* of self-loathing when she fucks up#but who doesn't yknow#i know its a very slight nuance that makes very little difference in how her 'overachiever' problems manifest but its there#the sword of abandonment issues that hangs over her head has nothing to do with her self-worth or self-esteem or meeting her own standards#it has to do with the fear of not living up to *other* people's expectations and not being useful enough to be worth keeping around#she's good enough for herself but she's always so so so scared that she's not good enough for other people#i wont say much about what ryoko kui is saying using this as an allegory for real world racial biases but#dungeon meshi's treatment of marcille's relationship with her being half-elf is so incredibly important to me because it gets it so right.#a trauma about inferiority or being a half-being isn't inherent to the experience of being 'of two worlds' at all#that's something that's unfairly drilled into people by their environment#the *inherent* anguish is the loneliness. the constant longing. the fact that you are always homesick no matter where you are#always just a little bit of an outsider and never fully at home#and dungeon meshi gets that.#edit: cleaned it up a little
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thesims2comics · 6 months
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Lazlo in college (not canon!)
i have this whole headcanon about lazlo in my head about him being with his brothers in college, doing similar courses but he is bored of studying and just wants to build and do cool stuff that makes him happy and passionate about science/engineering
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sisterofficerlucychen · 3 months
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chenford alphabet: d is for day of death (1/2)
"i've got her! i've got her!"
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onawhimsicot · 2 months
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WAIT HELLO, HAS EVERYONE SEEN THIS HELLO WHAT
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fabaceous · 11 months
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isnt it so interesting and so reflective of being a teenage girl how the yellowjackets collectively and sort of automatically/instinctively assign certain roles to certain members of the group, often roles that involve getting their hands dirty and doing things that are anywhere from gross to ethically questionable to truly morally reprehensible but necessary for their survival, because no one else can stomach it, and then they punish her for acting out the exact same role that they assigned her?
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ronon-dex · 7 months
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'extreme risk' is maybe. the most heartbreaking voyager ep yet? it wasn't perfect, tom and chakotay could be construed as acting ooc. but janeway's quiet conversation with b'elanna in the medbay, being so gentle with her while still remaining firm. b'elanna describing the numbness she's experiencing then laughing off a diagnosis of clinical depression. her relying so much on physical violence as a way to see the truth of the world, and this fact being so integral to her as a person that even the man she trusts most on that ship had to use it to help her. the palpable distance between her and tom, the way they're in this relationship like they're in voyager. clinging together out of necessity and trauma. this whole thing being a reminder that there is significant loss waiting for this crew even if they make it back. despite them making it back.
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currently emotional over how rogue one-era cassian probably never thought that he personally had or could have or even deserved to have a future
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stardustdiiving · 5 months
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How evil is arlecchino and what is she cooking
As of 4.2, I’m really curious what they’re planning with Arlecchino as a character, especially as a villain/antagonist/morally dubious character, and how far/which direction they may go with that
Intuitively my impression is we’ll see her do something way more “villainous” than she presents herself as being for majority of Fontaine’s AQ in front of us right—(which isn’t a surprise given that, you know, Arlecchino nor the House of Hearth have never been presented as 110% ethical LOL) but I find myself not being in complete agreement with most analysis or speculation threads I see about Arlecchino’s morality and the like, level of sinister people seem to ascribe to her.
Idk how to put it, especially in regards to her children I do agree they are not a wholesome found family, that Arlecchino is not above pulling strings or using them for her own ulterior motives, but I kind of hesitate on the idea she only cares about the Hearth children as a means to the end/things she can control and there’s nothing else going on with her characterization wise there. I’m not saying that impression seems remotely unreasonable or unfounded, but just that it feels there’s something intentionally missing in how we are supposed to conceptualize her as a person
My main reasoning for this hunch is the fact they have not elaborated on Arlecchino and the previous Knave—who Arlecchino is stated to have taken over the position from by force. The extra tidbits I think about are that 1) Arlecchino was previously an orphan in the Hearth 2) the previous Knave is described as way, way crueler to the children of than Heart than Arlecchino was from when she took control of the House
Often, people’s major indicators that the House of the Hearth is kind of super fucked up are the NPCs we meet in world quests who are part of it and clearly suffering. But one thing I haven’t ever seen people mention w this that i think is a very interesting detail is, in The Very Special Fortune Slip Inazuma worldquest, where we stop this House of Hearth guy (Efim Snezhevich) from manufacturing tension between Watasumi/the Shogunate to restart the war with his other Hearth subordinates, at the end of the quest we get this dialogue that reveals he had been acting under the previous Knave’s directives:
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It’s also mentioned he’s employing this plan in an attempt to “rebuild the prestige of the Knave” following Signora’s death, iirc? Now, see, the dialogue itself says that this is “assuming our captive is telling the truth” so who knows what’s really going on, but I find this a really odd/interesting thing to highlight. I’m a bit fuzzy on other world quests with Hearth members, and am not saying none of them were acting and subsequently being treated poorly by our Arlecchino, but like, this gives me a lot of questions especially when paired with implications this previous Knave seemed to be way worse
Like, what drove Arlecchino to take over? How unexpected and controversial was this within the House? Assuming the above information is all true it definitely says something this guy went rogue and acted on what the previous Knave would want and didn’t think our Arlecchino would greenlight it, which does feel consistent with the previous Knave being described as basically worse & crueler than our Arlecchino. It also makes me question how much house of hearth things we’ve seen outside the main story are the work of our Arlecchino or if there’s a bigger divide of loyalty. Heck, I could be wrong but it doesn’t even seem like we know if the previous Knave is dead or not
This isn’t me saying Arlecchino couldn’t possibly be treating hearth children worse than she wants us to know, especially ones who aren’t her “favorites” the way the fontaine trio seem to be, but I really don’t feel sure about making a solid conclusion of her exact level of malice the way ppl r generally understanding it rn when it feels there’s going to be more about her. Just the idea of she, as a Hearth child, clashed with the previous leader who was known for being cruel, overtook their position and took on less harsh methods of leading that made at least some members with more power/possible closer proximity to the previous Knave go rogue and try to commit atrocities in the previous Knave’s name…I feel this leaves a lot of room to suggest there’s more going on with how Arlecchino is as a person
I don’t mind if she’s just very evil and deceptive bc if she totally had me fall for thinking she was less evil than she actually was that’s fun tbh. But I feel people suggest that’s all her character could be with no degree of like, “sympatheticness” or deep grey morality and that if her character did go there it would be automatically poor writing and genshin walking back on making a truly evil woman when IDK. I feel you can claim at this point they have left it open ended and it’s never been completely confirmed she’s pure evil. Also sometimes I just get a hunch and feel cautiously confident in Genshin executing certain characters well. Not all characters, just certain ones. Especially given Fontaine’s character writing being very good and a character like Lyney feeling very solid to me when any development with Arlecchino would likely involve him and his siblings as well, I honestly feel open to the idea of Arlecchino being satisfyingly written to be both villainous/morally dubious but “sympathetic/likable as a person” in ways outside of just her ruthlessness if that makes sense
If I’m wrong/they drop the ball with it more than I anticipate I’ll eat my hat but I am pretty excited about her character and which way they decide to go with it. I will say the only potential impression I have of where they’ll go with her has been wondering if it will go in a “cycles of abuse” direction—I’d be surprised if they ever elaborated on Arlecchino’s character especially in how she feels about things and her also growing up as an exploited child of the hearth wasn’t relevant
#arlecchino#see my track record with said hunch with when I feel I should let genshin cook has been#for months truthing my vision of xiao’s speififc brand of internalized dehumanization induced suicidal ideation#and how genshin will one day he will get another quest of sorts thst develops his character towards#the idea he’s allowed to live and enjoy people’s company and this will likely#also come with following through on yaksha lore and when they do this they will do him SO well and it will be peak genshin quest#all of this Months before the existence of perilous trails was even rumored#and then I was soo stubborn xiao would show up in 2023 lantern rite w more character introspection to follow up PT#and also from the first fontsine teaser I was in the trenches for furina bc I felt so confident#the main storyline would handle her very well & if genshin went anywhere near the direction of her#not being a ‘true archon’ & ppl were Wrong if they thought genshin woudlnt take her seriously#and HAHA. WWOOWOOWOWOEOEOOEOEE#I have also been sent into hysteria multiple times bc genshin keeps canonizing my exact ideas of my favorite character dynamics#and often exceeding my expectations that I thought were jsut wishful thinking#yes I predicted exactly how xiao would interact w Venti & zhongli on screen yes I predicted#the exact nature of hat radish friendship no I was wiped out on the floor#by nahida enrolling wanderer in college & calling him hat guy & zhongli saving xiao’s life#& xiao having hardcore social anxiety from zhongven flirting with each other st the dinner table#this sounds so conceited. see I often don’t know What genshin is cooking but k feel sure in knowing when soemthing is going to be#a shitshow or mediocre or when we need to let them cook. even if it takes 6+ months#TRUST ME <— guy who has been waiting on genshin to cook for several characters for multiple years and is still sure I will get my food#am I crazy. yes. am I also often right when I have hunches on when genshin is going to suck and when it’s going to be good esp character#writing wise. often yes#one day I will annihilate genshined impact with my bare hands#genshin#fern.txt#fandomferns
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uncanny-tranny · 1 year
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I've been pushing myself to be more open about being trans and the positive and negative of it, not to prove that I am a person, but to show other trans people that they aren't alone. I owe my life, I think, to the trans people who have done this - gone into the nitty-gritty - and if I could do that even at a fraction of the effect, then my job is done. I don't exist to prove I am a human person and neither do you - you are already enough of a person.
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