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#lmao i'm the worst
knifearo · 5 months
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being aromantic is like. hey btw you're going to live a life that is the culmination of most of society's worst nightmares. sorry lol ✌️ but then you turn around and take a really good hard look at it and it turns out that living in that nightmare is fucking awesome and you get to wake up every day and take that fear that other people have and laugh and hold it close until it's a great joy for you instead. and being happy is a radical act that you define instead of someone else. and you're sexy as fuck that's just a fact of life i don't make the rules on that one
#aromantic people are just sexy i'm not making the decisions here it's just facts#course ur hot as fuck. it came free with the aromanticism#being sexy is just default settings for aromantic people 👍#hope this all helps. anyway i'm on my 'i hope i die alone <3 i can't wait to die alone <3' kick rn#i think the existential fear that people have of Not Partnering specifically is so. well.#obviously that shit is strong and it is SO awesome to be free of it.#realizing you're aro and you don't Want a partner can be such a hit to the solar plexus#cause society says that's the only thing that'll make you happy. so either you go without that thing or you force yourself#into doing something you don't want which would make you unhappy anyway.#so you think it's a lose lose situation and you have to come to terms with what amatonormativity presents as the worst possible situation#but then! whoa! turns out personhood is inherently valuable in and of itself and romantic partnering is just a construct!#and that nightmare is now your life to do with as you please... define as you will... structure as you want...#best case scenario. is what i'm saying.#every day i wake up ready to spit all that amatonormative rhetoric back in life's teeth by being alone and being happy#and it's so fucking satisfying. every day.#fucking JUBILANT being by myself. and i love being a living breathing 'fuck you' to the romantic system#you need a partner to be happy? oh that's sooo fucking crazy guess i'll go be miserable then. in my perfect fucking dream life lmao#yeah obviously it's the worst possible outcome on earth to die without a partner. so terrible. can't wait for it :)#aromantic#aromanticism#aro positivity#aroace#arospec#sorry to bitches who are sad about not having a partner. i could not give a fuck though get better soon#you couldn't EVER pay me enough to go back to a mindset in which my inherent value wasn't enough by myself.#FUCK that shit. absolutely miserable and a bad life outlook in general. like genuinely do the work w/ amatonormativity and get better#life is something that can be so fulfilling whether someone wants to kiss you or whatever or not#i'm on antidepressants and i have people i care deeply about. what the fuck would i need a partner for lmao
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diamondsheep · 7 months
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YOU DREW OLD MAN YAOI??
*sigh* YES, I DID !!
You asked for Old Man Yaoi !! Here is the Old Man Yaoi! (with a Live Sanji and Luffy reaction )
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this is what happened in THAT scene right ?..... RIGHT !?!?!??!
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rebouks · 21 days
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Previous // Next
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Ivan: If y'don't get that thing outta my face I'mma smash the fuck outta yours. Oscar: C'monnn you haven't eaten all day. Ivan: I ain't fuckin' hungry!
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tervaneula · 9 months
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Aaaaaaa gosh @spacemimz and @wraenata THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! I have never opened up a new canvas as fast as I did when I saw your butterfly suggestions ououghfgh
Old man Mikey so happy and in peace ;-;
We also get an extra because obviously I'm going to take this chance to doodle the wife Draxum:
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a2zillustration · 2 months
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[[ All Croissant Adventures (chronological, desktop) ]]
[[ All Croissant Adventures (app) ]]
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genericpuff · 4 months
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when were y'all gonna tell me about persephone, the poodle webkinz who runs a shop that's pretty much exclusively for rich people-
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i need to make it clear that the irony here is not lost on me LOL
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what's even better is the comment section which is a mixed bag of praise and "fuck you persephone for hating poor people" criticisms and again, thE IRONY SHOULD NOT BE LOST ON US HERE-
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this has literally nothing to do with LO and yet it makes me laugh so fucking hard to see a whole ass other niche and specific fandom embroiled in criticism regarding a pink depiction of persephone who they deem to be a snobby diva
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d-
do you think-
do you think this is what rachel's been referencing the whole time when she keeps having the male characters in LO brag about persephone's pedigree-
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khaotunq · 9 months
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softpine · 5 months
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she's looking especially sacrificial lamb today 🥩
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misasimagines · 7 months
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Alhaitham Smut ABCs
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included characters: Alhaitham
rating: NSFW!
warnings: this man is NOT good for you. some toxicity on his end, he's not treating you right (until later,, but I barely wrote about that). Power dynamics not awesome. Dom/sub dynamics. written with the thought of a femme reader so not completely GN but the presumed reader is not strictly gendered. Just keep that in mind! this is insanely long! I'm a freak!
Aftercare: (what they're like after sex): At first, awful. He's like okay, I have to up for work tomorrow. Here's your underwear. Leave. He gets softer (begrudgingly) after a while, especially if he really did a number on you and you're like brain dead. Then, he's like convincing himself you won't even really remember this so he can take care of you. You get your hair pet and he lets you cuddle up to him after he cleans you up (and scolds you for making a mess, but it's not serious, he knows it takes two). Once you're in a legit relationship (HARD MODE, TERRIBLE RNG) he'll start being nicer. You get to have a shower/bath together and he'll actually kiss you and tell you that you did a good job.
Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner's): He likes his hands. He would shove his fingers in your mouth to avoid having to kiss you. Likes making you suck on them and plays with your tongue and makes you drool all over yourself so he can degrade you about it,,,. Related, but he likes your mouth/lips. At first he really does NOT want to kiss you. It's too intimate, it's too much of an admittance that your relationship is beyond just sexual. When you finally do get him to want a real romantic relationship, he's kind of staved by then to kiss you and will do it as often as possible.
Cum (anything to do with cum basically): Yeah so he likes making you keep your mouth open, tongue out when he finishes after a blowjob. You should savor it, after all. He's not super in face shots or breeding because this man is NOT risking getting you knocked up if that's possible. Just prefers to cum in your mouth/on your tongue and make you leave it there while he goes down on you or fingers you. Literally would be pavlov'ing you into associating the taste with your own orgasm because he's the WORST.
Dirty secret: Honestly it's the moment he realizes he wants something more serious with you and he actually has feelings for you. He does want to kiss you, he wants to wake up next to you and treat you better and stop being so pragmatic and selfish. The idea gets him really hot but also upset because he wasn't ready to deal with that. It'll be another month or more before he deals with what this actually means.
Experience: He's had a few partners, probably strictly sexual relationships. He convinces himself (and them) that it's just a way to blow off steam, kill time, research (lmao). Probably held back any of his less vanilla preferences so you would be the first he really gets to let loose on (I mean, congrats?)
Favorite position: Bending you over something or just having you face down, ass up. He doesn't want you thinking this is romantic or serious, he doesn't want you to reach up and try to kiss him or anything. When things get more serious/romantic, he's like having you on your back so he can watch your expressions change and so he can keep you (both) quiet with his mouth on yours.
Goofy (are they more serious in the moment, or are they serious, etc): Deadass serious. The most "jokey" he gets is sarcastically praising you. It's degrading but you're too brain dead to get it at the moment.
Hair (how well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes?): honestly if its grey and teal down there i gotta rewrite the above because how are you going to take him seriously like that
Intimacy (how are they during the moment, romantic aspect...): It's just to get off at first. He doesn't want to kiss you because that's too romantic and he does NOT want that. He doesn't want to cuddle after, he doesn't want breakfast in the morning, he doesn't want you talking to him the next day like you're any closer than you were before he railed you. Eventually though, he's like .... fine. You can stay over. If it makes you happy, you can put your head on my chest. Jut don't get used to it. Even later, he's talking to you after and he's like okay, this doesn't suck, and then late game he's like, just stay the night (he kind of wants you to be there when he wakes up).
Jack off (masturbation headcanon): He takes his time. He'll read something smutty or just imagine something and lay in bed and edge himself for a bit. Probably also does it in the shower because it drowns out any sounds he might make and there's no risk of Kaveh walking in on him.
Kink: Light bondage (of you, not him) and prefers you brain dead and agreeable. He's a Dom through and through and wants you to just do what he says and take what he gives you. He'll want you to beg so he can deny you. Wants you so on edge you'll promise and agree to anything and he WILL be holding you to that. Like oh, you don't want to honor your agreement? Maybe he'll keep that in mind next time you're begging him to let you finish and promising anything, because it certainly wasn't anything last time you said that.
Location: Bedroom, office, library. The thrill of the more public places (his office and the library) get him going because he doesn't particularly care if someone catches you, but he knows you probably would.
Motivation (what turns them on): He had such a bad day, just let him use you,,, You did something stupid/messed something up? Well, he already thinks you're halfway to being brainless, he'll take care of the other half. You can suck on his fingers and/or run your hands up his chest and he's ready to ruin you. He also goes through phases where he's just not interested and you need to leave him be. He'll make it clear when he doesn't want that kind of attention, but if you're really in the mood and he isn't, he's not against talking you through taking care of yourself...
NO (something they won't do, turn offs): He's really not into letting you dom him. You could maybe top him but like ordering him around? Denying him? He's not happy with that. Sorry </3. He's also not into brat taming. If you become more trouble than you're worth, that's it. He's not putting more effort than necessary into keeping a relationship with you. Don't try to make him jealous or possessive, he does not care. And then when he does start caring? When he does have an interest in you because he loves you??? Now he's just unhappy because you're trying to use that against him and you're kind of just proving that he's better off not in this kind of relationship. Hypocritical giving his initial treatment of you.
Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc): Prefers receiving, he's selfish. Likes to see you on your knees trying to fit him in your mouth. Loves cumming in your mouth. Not super rough, but will make you gag on him if you were particularly annoying recently. Going down on you is more rare (until you're in a real relationship) like you have to earn it and/or beg for it. And then it's like a deal with a devil, you get more than you asked for. Once you're in a real relationship, he's is more interested in giving and particularly likes being on his knees while you're backed up against a bookcase in a dead silent library. You don't want to get caught, do you? So keep it down.
Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc): He can be a bit rough. I've said this throughout, but he is NOT trying to date you for the majority of this relationship. If he has to be meaner to try to prevent you both from catching feelings, he will be. He doesn't want to praise you, kiss you, take his time, etc, because he's actively NOT trying to make you feel valued. Red flag!! If you get the good ending, he can be slower and softer but it actually kind of makes him uncharacteristically flustered like... what do you mean enjoying the moment and not just getting results? He's not sure how to deal with that.
Quickie: Sometimes it's just what you have to do. He refuses to work overtime and any more than necessary but still, sometimes he can't get around it. And other times, he's just taking his law required break and you happened to visit him/be in the area so....
Risk (are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc): He's a big fan of you being his under the desk support <3 He can make himself look presentable after demolishing you over his desk, so he doesn't care, and it doesn't bother him if you're a wreck with cum dripping down your legs. Clean yourself up. He will try things within reason, man has a WEALTH of ideas and books with some insane things that he's curious about. If you agree to be his guinea pig, seriously you have no clue what you're getting into.
Stamina (how many rounds, how long do they last): this bookworm works out at the library AND the gym, have you SEEN his arms? He's lasting!!! But even when he's tapped out, he might not be finished.... tbc in the next :3
Toy (do they own toys? do they used them on a partner? themselves?) he WILL leave you tied up with a vibrator up to your most sensitive parts because he claims you're so needy and clingy, this is the best way to give you all the attention you're desperate for. Beg for him to turn it off when you're overstimulated and he'll tell you to finish again before he will, but then you do, and he's like? Oh? If you were able to get off again, maybe you're not done and I should leave you like that. Will also set you up with a dildo suctioned to the floor/mirror honestly/etc and tell you to get yourself off while he's busy or uninterested. If you stop or you're not putting your all into it, he's like hmm, guess you didn't actually need the stimulation, I feel less inclined to help.
Unfair (how much they like to tease): [big sigh] He's selfish and primarily wants to get himself off at first, but he also realizes he needs to give you a reason to come back. He also KIND of wants you to be at his beck and call so he'll make sure you're plenty satisfied at the end of your trysts. All, of course, to make you feel like you need him to get you off. Red flag! Otherwise, yes, he likes teasing and making you beg. He enjoys it and he knows the payoff is better when you had to want it so much more.
Volume (how loud are they): Pretty quiet with moans/groans/etc most of the time but he's DIRTY TALKING like crazy. He loves to call you desperate, to say you're more of a whore than he realized and what it would be like if all of your friends and coworkers knew what you got up to on your free time. He knows that most people care about their reputation and peoples' perceptions of them, so he likes to throw that back at you mainly because he does feel superior for not caring. The best you'll get from him when you're staring up at him, cum coating your tongue, eyelashes sparkly with tears, waiting for him to give you permission to swallow, is a kind of thoughtful look and maybe, just MAYBE, he'll call you a good girl/boy/pet.
Wild card: He's not in exhibitionism himself but if someone were to talk in on you tied up, shaking, vibrator up in you/against you? He'll make them leave but it's fine if they get a good look first. This is still his show, but it's fine if they envy him.
X-ray (whats going on in those pants): the in game model speaks for itself. countless minutes of research have lead me to believe that it is sizeable. Bigger than average, not much of a curve or anything.
Yearning (how high is their sex drive?): He goes through phases. Sometimes he's wants to be left alone for a week straight and then the next he's like trying to actively drop your IQ from the amount of brain cells he's fucking out of you.
ZZZ (how fast they fall asleep after): Not super fast. Probably stays up for a bit afterwards. Reads in bed or takes and shower and relaxes. He really isn't one to fall asleep with you until you've been in this relationship for a while and he's like, fuck. I'm in too deep, I can't keep throwing them out. And then he catches himself admitting you do look kind of endearing in your sleep. By then he's done for.
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xx-thedarklord-xx · 5 months
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Mandatory coffee shop au going well
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royalarchivist · 11 months
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Badboyhalo: WHAT THE FUDGE! Why does he do that every time I talk to him?! What the fudge- WHAT THE FUDGE! Every single time- every single time! Do you remember when after you had that nightmare and died, and I said, "Hey Vegetta, Dapper just died" and he flipping left? Can you believe this little muffinhead?! That's flipping it- THAT'S FLIPPING IT! PEACE?! Agh- you can rest in pieces! We're breaking in Dapper-
A tragedy in two parts:
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amoneki-ramblings · 4 months
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In the Amon stays in CCG AU Shironeki will get jealous with Haise because Haise gets to talk/work/eat with Amon and he doesn't??? 😭😭 Guy be sitting in a chair chanting "it should have been me"
WAIT THIS IS SO FUNNY?? I also spent way too much time on this um?? Enjoy
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good-to-drive · 7 months
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Y'all I finally met a Paul is dead theorist in real life and I hate to admit it but he's hilarious. He literally said Queen Elizabeth hand-picked Paul's replacement. Why would that be her responsibility. She had other things to do.
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shima-draws · 4 days
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I briefly considered a roleswap AU where Cora is the one to be enslaved by the Celestial Dragons and get horribly mistreated by them but then I realized it would be over in five minutes bc if Law saw that he would literally burn Mary Geoise to the ground with ZERO hesitation whatsoever
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tvckerwash · 5 months
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that scene in s10 where york calls wash the worst fighter and gets instant karma for it via getting punched by the sleeveless innie is easily 100 times funnier by imagining that wash (as the petty grudge holder he is) knew the sleeveless innie was there, but he chose to not say anything about it to york
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genericpuff · 2 months
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girl math is making $670 for the week and then spending $650 of it on a credit card bill and now you're excited because you made a profit of $20 in your bank account and $650 more of free money
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