#love tumblr where I can just post twice in a day then disappear for days

[mjulmjul]

them again

#artists on tumblr #digital art #ofmd #our flag means death #blackstede #i’ve Had A Day don’t txt lol (nothing serious don’t worry) #gentlebeard #ofmd fanart #love tumblr where I can just post twice in a day then disappear for days

[deanscherrypie69]

Tell Me You Love Me D.W.🌧️

Dean Winchester X!GirlfriendFemaleReader

Warnings: 18+ is advised! language(maybe like twice?) angst sm angst- sad Dean and Sad Reader. I’ve been trying not to use Y/n in many of my fics but.. lmk if you like this way better!! Pls don’t post my stories anywhere except tumblr 🩷

Feedback is always appreciated!! Don’t forget to comment and reblog!! My inbox is open (Not for requests tho!)

🌧️🌧️🌧️🌧️

“Just say it Dean, for me?"

You watch as Dean knocks back another shot. "Can't-" He says twirling the small glass between his finger.

You’d been poking him for hours, you knew he felt the same way… right?

You groan hoping off the bar stool. "I need some air." You mumble grabbing your jacket off the chair. Dean feels the cold air hit his back. He looks over his shoulder and watches you disappear outside.

He had known what you had wanted him to say it But he couldn't. He couldn't bring himself to do it. Part of him was sacred. Scared of loosing you.

🌧️🌧️🌧️ Once outside you tugged your jacket closer to your body, it had been a windy day in Kansas. It was about to be fall, your favorite season.

You watch as the leaves begin to fall from the trees.

The bar wasn't to packed tonight. There had been a few cars in the lot including Dean’s

You press your body against the brick of the budling. A stray tear falls down your cheek. It had been threating to come out. You had been with Dean for about two years now.

You have loved him, a lot. And he knew that, you even told him.

"I love you Dean."

The words you had told him after a bad hunt. You remembred him looking at you, he didn't say anything. And that hurt you the most. So ever since then. You'd been begging him to say it. But he wouldn't.

Why were you two even togther then? You thought.

Leaning off the brick wall you storm back into the bar.

Dean was still where you left him, instead of shots he had switched to a beer.

"Why are we even togther?" You breathing was ragged as you stood behind him. His body face the bar.

Dean spins around in his chair. "What.” He says with a confused tone.

"Why. Are. We. Togther." You repeat. Your voice was laced with anger. A few people had turned around in your direction.

Dean reaches into his pocket. Hr throws a few twenty dollar bills on the counter for whatever he was drinking, and for the half of beer you'd had earlier.

"Come on." Dean says reaching for your arm, but you quickly pull away. He knew he was in deep shit. Never once have you not wanted him to touch you.

Dean opens the door to outside, letting you step out first. The cold air hits his face, oh how he hated this type of weather.

Once outside you spin to look at him. “What are we doing Dean!” You shout throwing your arms up in the air.

Dean huffs and reaches into his jacket pocket, pulling out his keys.

“Get in the car it’s cold out.”

You roll your eyes and follow his orders. Walking to the passenger side door you open it. And slide inside.

Dean follows suit. He closes the car door behind him.

“What are we.” You say turning to face your boyfriend.

The green eyed man turns to look at you.

“You’re my girlfriend.” He says with a smirk. You can smell the alcohol on his breath.

You shake your head and begin to fiddle with the sleeves of your jacket.

“Doesn’t feel like it.”

Dean adjusts in his spot.

“Dean-“ You shake your head. “You know I love you right?”

Dean nods at your words. “I know,” he says reaching over to put the keys in the car.

“Why won’t you say it-“

Dean puts the car in drive and begins to drive away. “Seatbelt.” He points.

You huff and ready over to put it on.

“You can’t avoid the question Dean.” You say with an attitude.

Sure he can, he always does. He thinks to himself.

Dean reaches over and turns on the radio. Something Def Leppard by plays softly.

Your anger has begun to boil back up. Why had he been avoiding the question. All you wanted him wanted him to do was tell you he loved you.

“Stop the car.” You say reaching to pull your seatbelt off.

Dean doesn’t listen he continues to drive.

“Stop the car!” You repeat.

Dean presses on the break. The car door flies open. You fling off your seatbelt then exit the car. "Dean!" You scream, looking up at the night sky. You felt a few rain drops on your face. "I can't keep doing this." Your voice cracked, with hurt.

You look over to see Dean leaning on his car with his arms crossed, "Why won't you tell me?" You say with a sniffle.

Dean 's eyes don't meet yours instead the meet the ground.

"Just say it Dean, please." You give the green-eyed man one last chance.

He lifts his head to look at you, "I can't-" he says his voice breaking.

You nod, slowly backing away from the man. You begin to walk down the darkened street.

"Where are you going!" Dean shouts.

Not responding you walk faster, the heels of your boots clicking on the road below you.

You gasp when you feel a hand on your arm. You freeze in your spot. You knew it was Dean, you could smell his cologne. You felt his breath on the back of your neck.

Dean spins you around to look at him. "Let me go Dean." You warn.

His eyes were soft. “You wanna know why I can't say it??

“Why.”

Dean huffs, “I’m scared Y/n I’m so fucking scared-“ he begins. You watch as Dean swallows hard. “I’m scared of loosing you-“ he says with a shaky breath. “Everything I love, eventually.. leaves me. Or- something worse. And I don’t want that happening you. I couldn’t live with myself if it did.”

Dean had a stray tear slip down his cheek, you reach your hand up to wipe it away.

Before you could reply, rain starts falling down on you both hard.

Your eyes never leaving Dean’s, “you’re not gonna loose me Dean, I’m not gonna let that happen.”

“How do you know?” Dean says.

Both of you were soaked with rain but you didn’t care.

“Because I love you, and I always know that you’ll be there to protect me, no matter what.” You say with a laugh. “You’re not gonna loose me Dean Winchester, cause I’m not going anywhere.”

Dean nods at your words, his tears were mixed with the rain. “I love you.” He says grabbing the back of your head, bringing your lips together.

Dean was the first to pull away. “I love you too.” You pull away from him and begin to dance in the rain.

“Dance with me!” You squeal jumping around.

Dean doesn’t leave you hanging for long he begins to swing you around and around.

He loved you. And you loved him. You couldn’t ask for anything more.🩷

🌧️🌧️🌧️🌧️

Lmk if you’d liked to be added to my Dean tag list!!🩷🩷

#dean winchester x reader #dean winchester comfort #dean winchester angst #dean winchester fanfiction #dean x you #dean winchester fic #supernatural dean #dean x reader #dean winchester #dean winchester imagine #dean winchester x you #dean winchester fluff #dean winchester x female!reader #supernatural fic #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural fanfic

[mxltifxnd0m]

ᴛʀᴀɪɴɪɴɢ ᴇxᴇʀᴄɪꜱᴇ

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Summary: You spar with Miguel 

Pairings: Miguel O’Hara x spider fem! Reader, fem reader is a Spider-Woman

Words: 2.5K

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Warnings: none, some sexual tension, banter, reader loves to annoy Miguel, no use of y/n

A/N: I have no clue if I should post this after months of not writing lol (so if it does hi tumblr it has been a while 😅). And as always thank you to my wife @songofpatrochilless for beta reading!

A/N pt.2: try and find the vampire by olivia rodrigo reference 🤭

𝘮𝘪𝘨𝘶𝘦𝘭 𝘰'𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘢 𝘮𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘵

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

An alert from your watch makes you stop typing the report you were writing for Tony. You look at it confused since you don’t typically get a message or an alert on your days off. You tap on the watch, and Lyla appears on your desk. 

“Hey, Lyla!” You greet her cheerfully, “What does Miguel need from me?” 

“He needs you at HQ, Miguel said something about training?” Lyla tells you. 

“You don’t sound too sure about why he’s calling me either.” 

Lyla just shrugs at you and says to hurry up. You roll your eyes at her and tell her you’ll be at HQ. She disappears with a little salute and pulling out your phone, you text the team that you’ll be out for a couple of hours. 

You tap on the spider pendant hanging from your necklace twice. Your spider suit (sans mask) forms around your body. You tap on the watch and configure it to go to Earth-928B. The hexagonal portal opens, and you begin to walk through it, getting pulled through. Being welcomed by the sight of the infinite universes never ceases to amaze you. After a minute, the portal opens and you end up in the elevator in HQ. As you leave the elevator and head to Miguel’s office, the various variants of Peter Parker and other spider people greet you as you pass them. 

You can hear your footsteps echo through the empty halls as you near Miguel’s (cave) office.

“So, is there a multiversal villain that isn't in their universe, and that's why you called me on my day off, or did you miss me?” You call out to Miguel as you enter his office with your hands on your hips and a smug smile as his desk floats down slowly. 

"You know you should fix that to make it go down faster." You quip. 

His desk finally reaches the floor, and Miguel is unamused. 

“Neither.” He responds, deciding to ignore the comment that you made about his desk. Your eyes widen slightly in disbelief as you observe Miguel's choice of clothing. 

“Ermm…so where’s the suit? I wasn’t aware that we had casual Fridays at HQ now, and I didn’t take you to be someone to wear their symbol on their casual wear.” You stifle a laugh as your hand gestures to the loose-fitting grey joggers and tight black compression tank top with his emblem stitched in the front that he is wearing instead of his usual red and blue spider suit. 

There’s a hint of a smirk as he sees your eyes trail over his form.

“We don’t.” He responds to my question, “But we’re training today.” He goes to leave the room. You quickly follow him after him as you trail behind him slightly. 

“Wait, slow your roll, Dracula! What do you mean by training?” 

Miguel scoffed at the nickname, “I haven’t been able to see what you are capable of, so you and I are going to spar.” He explains as he walks toward the training room. 

“I thought you recruited people based on their experience?” 

“I landed in your universe on a whim-“ 

“You mean you got sucker punched into my universe trying to get back to this one and passed out.” You interrupt Miguel. 

He sighed heavily, “I landed in your universe and wasn’t planning to recruit you until I figured out what you could do. What the others don’t do.” 

His comment rendered you speechless, not liking how he tried to bring up your past. You guys spent the rest of the walk in silence. You felt you were nearing your destination. You were right as he stopped before a door and opened it, and Miguel gestured for you to enter first. 

“Well, would you look at that? Miguel O’Hara has manners.” you tease as you enter the mysterious room. 

“Hardy har har, I've never heard that one before.” He says dryly. 

As you walk in, the room is pitch black, and all you can hear is Miguel’s footsteps. You hear a click and the hum of electricity before the bright lights flicker on.

The sudden brightness throws you off slightly. You have to blink a couple of times to clear your vision. The first thing you notice is that the room is massive. Foam mats line the floor, leading you to believe those are for sparring. Where there aren’t foam mats, linoleum pathways lead you to different parts of the room.

As your eyes move to the left side of the room, there is a window that looks into what seems to be a dance studio? You can see the barre used for ballet, and you suspect that the “window” is a two-way mirror. You raise an eyebrow at the dance studio, wondering why there was one in the first place, but you continue to scan the room.

The ceiling is incredibly high, with metal bars protruding from the walls leading up to the high ceiling, and from the ceiling itself. Then, your eyes landed on the center of the room. There was a boxing ring, and Miguel was standing in the middle.

“I thought there was already a training facility that the others use?”You question Miguel as you begin to walk up to the ring.  

“This is an old one before I had the other built. It’s a bit outdated for the others. So, no one uses it anymore. But I’m using it to see what you can do. Do you have clothes underneath your suit?” 

“No, I go commando all the time.” You snark at him. 

Miguel sends you a look, his red eyes flashing slightly at you. 

“Yes, I have my plain clothes underneath.” You answer with a slight sigh.

He gestured to the right side of the room, where a door labeled locker rooms was.

“There should be some spare clothes in one of those lockers. Get changed, and meet me back here.” He ordered.

You nod and walk into the locker rooms. Inside, the room was split into two, with a door leading to a men's and women's side. You walked into the woman’s side, and it looked like a generic locker room. Lockers lined the walls furthest from the door you entered from, changing stalls to the left and sinks and bathroom stalls to the right. The lockers had no locks, so you pulled a random one open. There was a black sports bra and some black leggings. You close the locker door with the clothes in hand and head to the changing stalls.

Once you had gotten changed, your feet quietly led you out of the locker room, and you lifted your eyes from the ground to see Miguel raising his arms above his head, making his shirt rise slightly, giving you a good look at his prominent v-line and how low his pants are sitting at his hips. You feel yourself flush at the sight of Miguel’s tan skin. You clear your throat to alert Miguel. As you climbed into the ring, you could feel his eyes on you. 

“So, are you ready to go down Nosferatu?” You ask him with a teasing grin on my face. 

He rolls his eyes at me and puts his hands on his hips, “Some ground rules before we start. No webs, no face shots, and tap out if you get pinned. And stop calling me that.” He explains as he points his finger at me.

“Got it, and I’m not going to.” There’s a grin on your face. “But one thing before we start.” 

“What is it?” He says, getting a little impatient. 

“Are you sure you want to spar with me specifically?” 

“Why? Are you afraid that you’ll lose? I don’t see a problem with that.” Miguel says while shrugging with a half smile on his face. 

You grin wide at his cockiness, “Great, you’re feeling confident. No, I’m not afraid. I just wanted to ask if you thought this through.” 

“And why is that? Humor me.” Amusement coated his tone.

“You’re asking the person groomed to be an assassin since they were 9 to see what they can do. I have to say it’s not one of your brightest ideas, Mig.” As soon as you finished your sentence, you went to swipe his feet from underneath him, but at the last second, he managed to dodge your attack. 

“I guess we’re starting now.” He mutters under his breath as he gets into a defensive position, but your advanced hearing makes it easy for you to hear his words. 

The both of you begin to circle each other. The both of you are in defensive positions and waiting for the other to strike.

“Bring it, Miggy.” You flash him a smirk, your tone teasing as you make the hand gesture to come at you. He lunges at you. 

As the both of you spar in the boxing ring, neither can keep the other pinned. You can feel the sweat coat your body, your chest heaves from exertion, but you can’t wipe away the smile on your face. It had been a while since you’d been able to spar with someone that matched your skill level. 

You guys reached a standstill. You and Miguel start to circle one another once again. You decide that you have to finish this. You run full speed at Miguel, surprising him. Miguel was unprepared for the sudden attack. You jump and wrap your legs around his head and neck. Using momentum, you twist your body to bring him to the ground. He fell on his back hard on the mat as you landed on your feet. You take this as a chance to pin him down. You straddle his waist and pin his wrists down onto the floor. 

You lean over him, your face hovering over his. You can tell that Miguel was not anticipating your sudden move. The wind got knocked out of him. His breaths were harsh and shallow. You smile smugly at Miguel once he opens his eyes. 

“Do you yield?” You tease him as you lean further down into Miguel, feeling his harsh breath hitting your skin. You can see him swallow hard and try to get out of your grip, but you fight against his attempts to get out of your grasp. 

“Are you trying to get me off of you?” You coo at him, laughing slightly at his attempts. His face twists into a snarl at your teasing. He bares his fangs at you as he tries to get you off. 

“You’re gonna have to try harder than that Miggy.” You taunt him as you tighten your grip around his thick wrists and squeeze your thighs around his waist. He suddenly stops wriggling around, and a smirk appears on his face. He leans closer to your face, your noses brushing against one another. The smile slips off your face as you stare into Miguel’s ruby-red eyes. 

“You know, you shouldn’t let proximity distract you, Hermosa,” Miguel says in a sultry whisper, his words fanning over your lips, and you can feel yourself swallow hard at his words. 

“It’s not.” You croak out, feeling your chest tighten. Miguel brushes his lips over yours. You were not expecting that, and your grip on his wrist falters. Suddenly, you feel the world turn upside down. 

You groan as you land flat on your back from Miguel flipping you over him. As you try to scramble to get up, Miguel straddles your legs and pins your wrists to the mat with one of his hands, reversing the position that you had previously. 

You look up at Miguel hovering over you with the smugest smirk you’ve ever seen on his face. You try to figure out how to get out from underneath him, but he has your legs pinned. You wriggle around and try to thrust your hips up to throw Miguel off you. Your attempts are futile since he’s so much bigger than you. Miguel chuckles lowly at your poor attempts to get him off of you.

“Don’t let the enemy distract you.” He whispers in your ear and chuckles as he moves back and gets off of you. You curse under your breath and stay lying on the mat.

You hear Miguel pad off to a corner of the ring to grab a towel to wipe his sweat off and drink his water. You close your eyes. You take a minute to catch your breath and compose yourself, feeling flustered by Miguel’s actions.

After a few minutes of laying there, you can hear Miguel walk toward you and toss a towel, landing on your stomach. 

“Get up.” He nudges your side with his foot.

You groan while opening your eyes, squinting a bit as your eyes adjust quickly to the bright lights of the unused gym. You took the towel off your stomach and sat up.  You wiped the sweat off of your face and neck. After wiping the sweat off, you wrapped the towel around your neck. You could see Miguel’s hand appear in front of your face. You take it, and he pulls you up from the floor.

“So, how did I do?” You ask him. 

“You’re better than I expected.” 

“Wow, did you expect a fully trained assassin not to be capable?” You scoff jokingly at his words. 

“I mean, you’re better than everyone else that I’ve recruited so far.” 

“That I am.” You smile. You guys leave the old training area and head back to his office. 

“So that’s all you wanted me here for?” 

He nodded at you. “Today is a slow day for anomalies. So I decided it was time to test you.” 

As soon as he uttered those words, multiple alerts went off on his watch. It was as if the universe heard his words. Lyla appeared and alerted Miguel that there was a Rhino anomaly in Earth-5573. He groans slightly in frustration and looks at you. “I know it's your day off, but could you help?”

"Yeah, I was bored doing some paperwork anyway." You shrug.

"Okay, head to that earth, and I’ll send Jess with you.” 

You hum in confirmation. You press your spider pendant. In a second, your suit forms around your body. You look down at your watch and open a portal to Earth-5573. Miguel grasped your wrist before you left, making you look back at him.

Miguel had an unreadable look in his eyes. You look down at his hand and back at him. He seems to snap out of whatever daze he is in and clears his throat while fixing his posture. 

“Don’t be reckless out there.” He says sternly, but you can hear the warmth in his words. 

You smirk at him, “Will do, boss.” You salute him playfully at him. “Oh, Miguel!” You call out to him.“Don’t let anyone hear that, or they’ll think you have a heart.” You tease him before walking through the portal, and the last thing you see is Miguel scowling. A giggle escapes my mouth before the portal closes, and you head to Earth-5573.

#miguel o'hara #miguel ohara #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel x reader #spiderman 2099 #across the spiderverse #miguel x you #spiderman x reader #miguel o'hara x fem!reader #miguel o'hara x you #miguel o'hara x spiderwoman!reader #miguel o'hara x y/n #daisy's writing #daisy writes for once #daisy writes

[darkstar225]

Twice's 10th member's love language is touch but Tzuyu's isn't 😓

A/N: Hey guys, I'm sorry for disappearing but I got my wisdom teeth out so yeah- lol. Anyway- I got an ask on Tumblr and I loved writing it, ty anon! :D

The request: hii if your requests are open can i request something? maybe a fic with tzuyu where reader really wants to be affectionate, but knows tzuyu isn't very keen on that so they hold back until tzuyu starts to notice that somethings wrong and asks reader. then tzuyu is kinda like "why wouldn't you tell me this?" and reader admits that they didn't wanna make her uncomfortable, then tzuyu holds them until they fall asleep

PS: Tysm for everyone that reads what I write, I hope I can bring a smile to your faces every time I post! I'd like to thank whoever sent me this idea 'cause I loved to write it <3

__________________________________________________________

In the heart of bustling Seoul, the vibrant energy of the city met the soothing tranquillity of a well-maintained apartment complex. Here, in this abode, lived Y/N, the youngest member of the global sensation TWICE, and a girl whose heart held a secret she yearned to share.

Being the maknae of the group, Y/N was practically bubbling with youthful energy. Her days were filled with laughter, music, and the kind of friendship that made her feel truly blessed. Among the group, however, there was one member she looked up to more than anyone else, Chou Tzuyu. Tzuyu, with her elegance, poise, and that quiet strength that resonated with the younger girl, was someone she held dearer than just a fellow idol.

Y/N admired Tzuyu to a level that transcended mere fellowship. In her eyes, Tzuyu was the older sister she had never had. Every smile, every word, and every action of Tzuyu seemed like a guiding light to TWICE's child. And yet, she held back, for she knew Tzuyu wasn't very keen on excessive displays of affection.

It wasn't that her unnie was cold or distant. She was just more reserved, more comfortable with her personal space. Y/N had picked up on this early, and while her heart ached to shower Tzuyu with the affection she felt, she restrained herself. She didn't want to make Tzuyu uncomfortable. She didn't want her older sister figure to feel burdened by her affection.

Days turned into weeks, and the secret Y/N held started to weigh heavily on her heart. Her bright eyes carried a touch of sadness that only the perceptive eyes of Tzuyu could detect. It was during one rehearsal, as they were running through their choreography, that Tzuyu finally noticed. 

The way her sister seemed to hesitate before engaging in a group hug, the subtle sigh that escaped her lips when her hand brushed against Tzuyu's, the almost imperceptible flinch when Tzuyu playfully ruffled her hair. All these signs were like a mosaic of emotions that Tzuyu began to piece together. (finally)

After practice that day, Tzuyu waited until the others had left. She turned to Y/N, her gaze soft but probing. 

Tzuyu - Darling, can I talk to you for a moment?

Y/N looked at her with wide eyes like a deer in the headlights, momentarily caught off guard. But then, she smiled, though it didn't quite reach her eyes. 

Y/N - Of course, Tzuyu unnie!

They sat down on the edge of the practice stage, the silence between them comfortable yet tinged with an unspoken question. Tzuyu fiddled with the edge of her water bottle, glancing at the youngest from time to time. After some time, she spoke first.

Tzuyu - Is there something bothering you, darling?

Y/N bit her lip, her gaze fixed on the floor. She hesitated for a moment before her heart won over her apprehension. 

Y/N - Tzuyu unnie, I... I want you to know how much you mean to me. You're like the older sister I never had, and I really admire you. But I know you're not very comfortable with a lot of physical affection, so I've been holding back. *pouts*

Tzuyu's eyes softened, the realization dawning on her. She placed her hand gently on her sister's, causing the younger girl to glance up, her eyes swimming with vulnerability. 

Tzuyu - Bae, why wouldn't you tell me this?

Y/N's voice trembled slightly as she answered. 

Y/N - I didn't want to make you uncomfortable, unnie. I didn't want to burden you with my feelings. 

Tzuyu sighed, a mixture of understanding and exasperation. 

Tzuyu - You silly girl. You could never burden me with your feelings! If anything, you've just reminded me how much I cherish our bond.

As Tzuyu spoke, Y/N's heart felt lighter than it had in weeks. She blinked away tears, a mixture of relief and gratitude flooding her. 

Y/N - Really?

Tzuyu chuckled softly, the sound like a melodic jingle. 

Tzuyu - Yes, really. And you know, it's not that I dislike affection. It's just that sometimes, I get caught up in my own head. But for you, I promise, I'll try my best. 

Tzuyu's words were like a warm embrace, a comfort TWICE's angel had been yearning for. The weight she'd carried on her heart began to dissipate, replaced by the genuine affection that flowed between them. At that moment, Y/N realized that her admiration for Tzuyu was not one-sided. Tzuyu cared for her just as deeply.

Y/N - Can I hug you, unnie?

Tzuyu smiled, her eyes crinkling at the corners. 

Tzuyu - Of course you can, honey.

And so, in that empty practice room, the pair shared a hug that spoke volumes. It was a hug that carried the weight of unspoken emotions, the depth of their connection, and the promise of a bond that would only strengthen with time.

As they pulled away, Tzuyu's hand found its way to Y/N's hair, ruffling it playfully. Y/N laughed, a sound that echoed with newfound joy. Tzuyu's smile was brighter than ever, a reflection of the happiness she felt in being able to offer comfort to the girl who she saw as a younger sister.

Tzuyu stood up and extended her hand to Y/N. 

Tzuyu - Come on, let's head home. I'll make you some of my special tea. *smiles with her sweet dimples*

Y/N took her hand, a radiant smile gracing her features. As they walked out of the practice room, side by side, it was a picture of sisterly affection that neither of them would ever forget. And when they finally settled down with cups of tea, Tzuyu held Y/N until she fell asleep, the bond between them stronger than ever, bathed in the warm glow of a newfound understanding and love. As the older members woke up the next morning, they saw this image and could only have a single thought:

We love our maknaes.

A/N: I apologise for any errors, English is not my first language. Pls, let me know if there's something wrong, ty for reading <3

#kpop imagines #kpop gg #twice fluff #twice x reader #twice imagines #twice scenarios #twice #twice 10th member #twice addition #twice added member #twice x y/n #twice x you #tzuyu #tzuyu x reader #nayeon #nayeon x reader #jeongyeon #jeongyeon x reader #momo #momo x reader #sana #sana x reader #jihyo #jihyo x reader #mina #mina x reader #dahyun #dahyun x reader #chaeyoung #chaeyoung x reader

[bramble-scramble]

It was a good attempt

Hey friends. I've had something eating away at me for a while now; I was going to give it a bit more time, but the anxiety around not talking about this is getting to me, so I'll just be direct.

I'm leaving tumblr (sort of).

Without being too melodramatic about this: I've had a lot of complicated thoughts about social media, fandom, the internet in general, being an artist/streamer online, and a bunch of related stuff over the past few years. It's always hard to sort out these thoughts properly, and even harder to talk about them, because I don't want anyone to attack me or assume I'm treating my personal experiences as universal, or belittling something that's important and meaningful to them. I will say I firmly believe that for many people, the modern internet is more harmful to mental health than we're all willing to admit. But I also know it's a great source of connection and friendship where I've met some of the people I love most. If I had a more solid black-and-white conviction or thesis about these complexities, I wouldn't be struggling so constantly to make sense of it all, and the internet's place in my life.

That said, the evidence of my own life points to the fact that the less "online" I am (at this point in my existence), the happier I am. That the remaining sources of self-loathing depression in my life are almost entirely triggered by the internet. That social media is a disaster for my OCD. For many months, I was hoping tumblr would be different. It's not. Realizing that the same old problems I have were just going to resurface here again was a painful process, one I kept denying.

I thought I'd be fine if I only checked in once or twice a day, but the more I do that, the more I find it hard to get myself to check in at all. Because when I do, I feel like I just can't keep up with everything anymore. I don't feel like a part of anything, I don't feel wanted or needed, and it just exacerbates my problems.

But I'm not going to disappear completely. I'll still pop in from time to time and answer any asks, and maybe post doodles. My art account @altermentality will still be active, when I have something worth posting.

You can still find me on twitter for now, and bluesky, but my presence of being truly "active" socially online will be limited to:

Discord- because I enjoy the few smaller, private-ish servers I'm in, and it's my hub for keeping in touch with people one-on-one.

Twitch - At this point in my life, I still greatly enjoy streaming, although my capacity to do it reliably varies. I also love the communities I'm in that I've developed with other streamers.

I'm altermentality on all the places mentioned above. If you'd like to keep in touch, please reach out.

My queue will run until it runs out.

It's been fun and I wish you all the best. Be well.

#bramble ramble

[harringtonshoe]

steve harrington x f!reader. semi-longer fic [5k words]. best friends to lovers. lots of pining & angst. set post season 1–3. no smut since this is my first fic back on tumblr & i wanted to go easy on myself, so no content warnings. based off of aiden bissett's song "twenty-something"

The closeness should’ve bothered you, should’ve made you question if there was something else undergoing, with the way you were both pressed completely against one another, the way Steve’s knee was slumped against yours, but you didn’t think twice about it. This was normal, natural for the two of you.

Because you and Steve were best friends. Just that. Until you weren’t.

you know i really love that we can talk this way, i wanna say too much but it's too soon to say

The water was chilled and curved against your ankles from where you sat, right on the edge of the pool. With the scorching Indiana sun setting on the horizon, it was finally comfortable enough to sit outside without feeling the burn of the sun, the sweat that would drip down the sides of your face, and the constant need to sip on something cool. The backs of your thighs burned from the heat that still lingered on the concrete, and you reached down to splash some water onto the area surrounding you. 

You watched the sky mix purple and orange as you slid the strap of your tank-top back up onto your shoulder, the crickets beginning to chirp in the woods that surrounded the backyard of Steve’s house. A lightning bug blinked bright neon in front of you, before it disappeared somewhere into the trees. You sighed in satisfaction, it was the perfect ending to another perfect summer day. You let your hair fall out of its scrunchie, the air finally cooling down enough for it not to stick to the back of your neck, and you turned your head at the sound of footsteps padding on the pavement. 

“We ran out of grape,” Steve said, still shirtless and a little bit darker from the day’s activities. He was holding two cans of orange soda as he found the spot next to you. 

“Thanks,” you said, taking it gratefully, and the pair of you lapsed into a comfortable silence. You spent most of your summer days hanging out at Steve’s—with his parents always away on business trips, and yours always working long shifts, there were no adults around to tell either of you that you couldn’t. 

You weren’t sure either set of parents would ever say no to that, though. Not with the way you and Steve had been best friends since kindergarten—since Steve had saved you from a boy pushing you off the swings. He’d offered you a hand, helped you brush off your clothes, and suggested you sit with him at lunch that day. You’d been inseparable ever since. Your parents loved him, and his loved you. You doubted they’d ever disapprove of you two hanging out. 

You kicked your foot in the water, causing it to ripple, and Steve nudged your shoulder. The closeness should’ve bothered you, should’ve made you question if there was something else undergoing, with the way you were both pressed completely against one another, the way Steve’s knee was slumped against yours, but you didn’t think twice about it. This was normal, natural for the two of you. 

Dustin could tease all he wanted—but he just didn’t get it. You and Steve were best friends. Just that.  “Can’t believe we have to go back to school tomorrow.” 

You did not refrain from groaning, and Steve’s face lit up with a knowing smile that had your heart pounding, like he’d predicted you’d react like that. “Don’t remind me,” you told him. 

“It won’t be that bad.” 

You grunted, and Steve huffed out a laugh at your reaction. “Speak for yourself, King Steve.”

There was no bite behind your words, and the both of you knew it. Despite having been friends for so long, Steve had risen on the popularity charts, while you had preferred to stay in the shadows. You were not a school fan, and you never had been. 

Especially since summer never seemed to last long enough. You’d spent countless days at the pool, countless days getting a little burnt, a little tanned, countless days driving around the small town of Hawkins, sitting in the passenger seat of Steve’s BMW, windows down and music blaring as you both ate your melting ice cream, and countless days that turned into nights that you’d spend falling asleep in Steve’s bed, or on his couch after watching a long movie. 

It was hard to believe it was already over. Another summer older, and another summer you’d never be able to relive. It made you sad in a million different ways. 

You and Steve were seniors that year, and though the thought should’ve been exciting, you really just wanted it to be over. Steve enjoyed school, enjoyed seeing all of his friends that the two of you didn’t necessarily share, but you were content with lounging at home all day with just him. 

School years brought on drama, and you’d had enough excitement for the rest of your life. Fighting monsters in the Byers’ house, saving Will, discovering a girl with powers, and finding out that your small town wasn’t as safe as you originally thought had been enough. You did not need the additional petty high school crap you were sure would occur once you went back. 

Steve grinned at you, boyish and teasing, and it had your heart hammering in your chest for a reason you couldn’t seem to explain. He reached around you to ruffle your hair, and you shoved him off, temporary insanity you’d felt for him seconds prior disappearing as you slapped at his arm. 

“It’ll be a good year,” he assured, and you huffed. “C’mon, it’s our last year together.” 

You gave him a teasing smirk. “And then I’m free from you forever.” 

Steve gasped in faux offense, and dropped his can of soda onto the concrete, and before you knew it, your entire body and head had been plunged right under water. 

You came up laughing, swatting water at him when you’d finally blinked the chlorine and droplets from your eyes, and realized that Steve was laughing too. “Douche,” you accused, and all he did was spray water back at you. 

“You know you love me,” he said, sounding so sure of himself, but if you’d been looking at him, you would’ve seen the almost hesitant set in his gaze. 

“In your dreams, Harrington.”

When you braced your arms on the outside of the pool, rather than just using the stairs, you didn’t notice the way Steve’s eyes became half-lidded, watching you push yourself up from under his lashes. You didn’t notice the way his gaze dropped to the curve of your ass, the way your soaking wet shorts seemed to stick to your skin in just the right ways, just the perfect places, and you definitely didn’t notice the way he swallowed roughly, and how he suddenly couldn’t seem to breathe. 

i only like you when you look at me, i only like you when you blink and breathe

“Steve, give it back!” Nancy’s hushed voice demanded, and she wiggled around in her seat, attempting to retrieve the notebook Steve had stolen from her just a moment ago. From where you sat across the table from them, you could feel your annoyance growing. 

You knew Steve and Nancy had been on talking terms again, but seeing them together in front of you had something bubbling up in your chest, and you just couldn’t seem to shake it. Maybe it was because you saw the way Nancy looked at Johnathan when you guys had movie nights and you knew Steve didn’t deserve that, maybe it was because your best friend wasn’t just yours anymore and you didn’t like sharing, or maybe it was because you couldn’t stop the stammering of your heart whenever Steve smiled at you, the way your nerves started to tingle whenever he would pinch your sides, or tug on your hair. 

“You should take a break. Distract yourself,” Steve told her, confidently, and Nancy’s expression grew dubious as he leaned in to kiss her. When they pulled apart, you were hoping your cheeks weren’t flaming. What the hell was wrong with you? “Seriously! You’ll get burnt out.” 

“I cannot fail this test, Steve,” Nancy stated, finally getting the notebook within her grasp as Steve forfeited, kissing her again. “I don’t have time for breaks.” 

You didn’t look up as you continued to doodle on your half-completed math homework, but you could feel Steve’s eyes at your sudden silence. He said your name in a quiet murmur, and you raised a brow. “You good?”

“Yeah,” you said, suddenly nervous. You hadn’t realized your hands were sweating until you started to pack up your stuff, despite Steve’s protest, and the furrow of Nancy’s brows. “I need a calculator for the second half of this. I left mine at home, so,” you shrugged, slugging your bag over your shoulder. “I’m just gonna finish this at my house.”

“You can do it later,” Steve tried, peering at you, his lips pulling into a frown. “You don’t have to leave right-”

“I’m knee deep in homework right now, Steve,” you told him, more sharply than you’d intended, but you didn’t apologize, not even when he’d taken a step back. You’d been so caught up in trying to even out your breathing that you hadn’t noticed Steve climbed to his feet to get you to stay, but when you briefly waved goodbye, he didn’t follow. 

He’d stayed right there, watching your retreating figure as you neared the library door, and the only person who noticed his dejected posture was Nancy. Steve made no moves to follow you.

And you didn’t know if you were grateful for it or not. 

***

Halloween was your favorite holiday—and it’s why it was so easy for him to convince you to go to a party, despite your usual disliking for them. 

And unfortunately, Steve was impossible to stay annoyed at, though you had no idea why you’d been upset with him at all in the first place. It was why you ended up searching for a costume in your closet last minute after he’d called. 

You found yourself in the passenger seat of his car, windows up as the cool October air made it too brisk to have them down. Steve was wearing all black, his sunglasses pushed up onto his head as he drove, pulling back his hair. You adjusted the faux leather miniskirt you’d stolen from one of your friends, the material thin beneath your fingertips as you tugged it further down your legs, attempting to stop it from riding up while you nodded your head absentmindedly to the beat of the song that was on.

“Do you mind if I pick up Nancy?” Steve asked, breaking the silence, and suddenly you couldn’t hear the music over the rush that took over your senses. 

Of course he’d be picking up Nancy. They were back together. You were just his best friend. That was enough, wasn’t it? It always had been before. 

You turned to meet his gaze. “No. Why would I mind?”

“Dunno,” Steve gnawed at his bottom lip, shrugging, and you had to forcefully tear your attention away from him. “You got weird the other day. In the library.”

“Just not a fan of watching my best friend French someone in front of me when I’m trying to do my homework,” you said, simply, and seemingly uninterested as if the thought of Steve with Nancy didn’t make you physically ill. “If I wanted to see it, I’d pick up a porn magazine.” 

Steve stared blankly over at you. “You’re hilarious. You know that?”

You smiled innocently back at him in response. 

Steve had to park down the road by the time you reached the house the party was at. He opened the door for Nancy, then for you, and you lagged behind as the pair of them interlocked fingers, walking up the driveway to the house. 

You hoped you didn’t look as dejected as you felt, especially when you entered through the front door, stepping into exactly what you were expecting: the smell of sweat from the group of tipsy teenagers that were dancing in the far corner, lingering cologne, alcohol, and most of all, the music that seemed to shake the windows from how loud it was. 

Steve was greeted with a chorus of cheers, of course, and you pushed your way through the crowd to find the drinks. 

There was no way you were getting through this night sober—not with the way Billy Hargrove stepped up to Steve, declaring his dominance that had you rolling your eyes, not with the way Steve kept pressing messy kisses to Nancy’s cheek (but you glanced away every time, narrowly missing his gaze—almost as if he were checking to see if you were looking) and not with the way your heart was in your stomach. 

“Hey,” a voice said somewhere from behind you, and you turned, slowly, to see a boy you vaguely recognized from the basketball team. It wasn’t hard, actually, to realize who he was, especially with his varsity jacket thrown over a plain black tee. Eric Pederick—a grade younger, and he usually could’ve been found sitting with Steve’s former friends, Tommy H and Carol. 

“Hi,” you greeted back, then gestured to his appearance. “Creative outfit.” 

He laughed, and you did, too. You don’t know how long the two of you stayed there talking, but you knew when you saw Steve following Nancy to the bathroom that you couldn’t stand there anymore. You downed your drink, and turned to your new friend. 

“Want to get out of here?” You prompted, and the boy looked all too excited. 

This wasn’t you. Parties weren’t you—drunken hook-ups weren’t you, but he led you to a secluded corner of the house, and all of your thoughts faded when your back hit the wall, and his mouth found yours. 

Unfortunately, the kiss did not deter your thoughts of Steve, and the gut-wrenching feeling you had when you spotted him trailing behind Nancy was still there, but it was a distraction, even if it wasn’t a strong one. 

His hands slipped under your shirt, but you pulled back at the sound of commotion near the front. You recognized that voice, and as you peered around Eric, your face twisted in confusion. 

Johnathan Byers’ arm around Nancy as he led her out the door, a rather large punch stain tarnished on the front of her shirt, and Steve standing hopelessly in the middle of the room. 

“What are you doing?” Eric asked, drawing you back to him, but you were suddenly no longer interested. “It’s just Harrington and his slut girlfriend. Harrington’s so desperate for the attention his parents don’t-”

“Fuck you,” your voice had lowered into a sneer, and Eric blinked in surprise. You were used to this—you were Steve’s quiet best friend, the one who never raised her hand in class, and the one who was always conveniently sick when there was a presentation. But you drew the line at Steve—you always did. Because nobody got to talk about your best friend like that. 

You left Eric standing there speechless as you brushed past him to meet Steve, who had discarded his glasses somewhere in the house as he ran a hand through his tossed hair. 

“Steve,” you pulled at his sleeve, and when he didn’t answer, you said it again, tone growing slightly more concerned. Finally, he looked at you. “You okay?”

“I think Nancy just broke up with me.” 

You felt your brows raise—and you desperately wanted to feel bad for him, you should’ve felt horrible, and you did, but you just couldn’t shake the little bit of hope that sparked in your chest, no matter how hard you tried to push it down. “What?” You whispered, because people were starting to stare. “Why?”

Steve shrugged, nonchalant, but you knew, you could see the waver in his expression. “Said I was bullshit. That we were bullshit—and it was bullshit that I was pretending to be in love with her.”

Your breath hitched, and you hoped your voice didn’t come out shaking. “Were you?” You asked.

Steve couldn’t meet your gaze. “Was I what?”

“Pretending?”

Briefly, he looked away from the party, and turned to you. There was a brief pause of silence before he answered you, but the air had suddenly turned so thick that you struggled to breathe it in. Steve lifted his shoulder up into a shrug. “I dunno.” 

And that was that. You didn't know what you were expecting him to say, but the disappointment that flooded in your chest immediately after his words was incredibly hard to ignore. The two of you said your goodbyes, Steve carried your bag out of the front door, you climbed into his car, and the drive was filled with Steve’s rambles, about Billy, how weird George Cox’s costume was, and how awful the punch was. 

He didn’t mention Nancy, and you didn’t either. This was normal for Steve—to pretend he didn’t care when he was hurt, so you didn’t push it, and even though the two of you shared more laughs on the way home, you genuinely couldn’t shake how your chest felt.

You couldn’t like Steve, could you?

oh, but every time you look at me, i wanna tell you all the way i feel

Christmas wasn’t normal that year, not after the recent events that had you and Steve scrambling underneath dark tunnels, saving Will Byers again, and fighting faceless demon-dogs that Dustin had claimed as a new species and shoved in Joyce’s fridge, much to your disgust. 

It wasn’t normal, but you tried to make it be. The first time something like this had happened, you all assumed it was over. But then it happened again, and suddenly you and the others were looking over your shoulders constantly for any signs of danger. 

Because if it happened twice, how did you know it wouldn’t happen again?

So, yeah, December was filled with paranoia, but you tried to disguise it by baking Christmas cookies with the kids, and watching sappy movies, and for a little bit, it worked. 

“Okay, I need you to be honest here, Steve,” Dustin said, suddenly very serious. You eyed them from the stove, where you were rolling the cookie dough into small little balls before placing them on the pan. You’d already made one batch, but both of the boys had devoured them and left none for you, to your annoyance. Dustin and Steve’s newfound friendship was strangely endearing, and you knew Steve loved it, no matter how hard he tried to act like he didn’t. “Is Santa Claus real?”

Steve paled, and looked to you for help. You shrugged, smirking, and turned away. You could practically feel his wide gaze at your back. “Uh—how old are you again?”

Dustin bursted out laughing. “You should’ve seen your face! Obviously I know Santa isn’t real. I’m thirteen, you moron.” 

You turned and chucked a raw ball of dough at him, and started to cackle when it stuck right on Dustin’s forehead. “Watch who you’re calling a moron, shitbird.”

Dustin plucked the dough off his head with a scowl that had you and Steve giggling harder, until finally Dustin shook his head, mumbling something before running off to the bathroom to wipe off the grease, assumingly. 

Steve climbed to his feet, meeting you by the stove. “Thanks for being my knight in shining armor.” 

You scoffed, focusing on the cookies instead of your racing heart. “Yeah, because you need defending from a big, bad thirteen year old.” You looked at him. “Besides, just paying you back for all the times you’ve saved my ass.” 

You weren’t just talking about school-bullies from grade school, and he knew that. There were plenty unsaid words shared between you two, but the ones about the Upside Down and the scarier part of Hawkins were spoken the most. He nodded, once, then started to smirk. “I take other forms of payment, you know.” 

You nearly dropped the tray you’d started to put into the stove as your head snapped over to him. “What?”

“What?” He laughed, blinking at your expression. “I’m talking about the cookies. Christ, what did you think I meant?”

You hoped he couldn’t see the way your hand was shaking as you closed the stove door. You shrugged. “Your other form of payment has been declined. These are all for me, especially since you and garbage disposal over there ate every single one of the first batch.” 

Steve shrugged. “You’ve got a skill, what can I say? They were good. Hey, you got flour on your face.”

“Do I?” You reached to wipe it off, but Steve caught your wrist. “What are you doing?”

“I got it,” he said it so casually, so normally, that you almost didn’t catch the way his fingers tremored against the side of your mouth, the way his breathing became shallow, how his face suddenly tinted pink, the same shade you’re sure yours was, and you couldn’t shake the fog from your brain. The pad of his thumb brushed past your lip, and he pulled his hand back to reveal the white powder there. His voice was low when he spoke next. “Told ya.” 

“Steve,” you said, unable to say anything else, and there was some sort of pull between the two of you, because neither of you moved, not when he inhaled sharply, as if silently cursing himself, not when your gaze found his mouth that you so desperately wanted to kiss, and not when Steve reached forward in the small gap between you to grasp your hand. 

Dustin was the only thing that had you two springing apart, and you bumped right into the counter as Steve ran a rough hand through his hair as the younger boy came bolting down the hallway. “There is a massive spider in your bathroom,” he told you, oblivious to the tension in the room. 

Oblivious to how Steve hadn’t looked away from you, and oblivious to how your flush still hadn’t faded. 

You were grateful your voice had returned back to normal when you looked to Steve. “Not it.”

The spell was broken, just like that, and whatever had passed between you both was seemingly quickly forgotten as Steve groaned in protest, his dislike for spiders matched yours, and you and Dustin followed him to the bathroom, avoiding the broom Steve was waving around like a mad-man. 

It was forgotten until the boys went home, and you were laying in bed all alone. You couldn’t think about anything else—and you would kill to know if Steve was stuck in the same boat. If he was thinking about it so much as even a sliver amount as you were. 

You wouldn’t know—you wouldn’t know that Steve was still up, pacing in his room, tugging at his hair, cursing himself for potentially ruining things between him and the most important person in his life. You wouldn’t know that he’d been deflecting it for years, dating dozens of girls to forget you, dating Nancy to stop himself from kissing you late night at his pool. How he felt so stupid for almost slipping up that night, but how your reaction had fueled something inside of him. Hope. 

You wouldn’t know. You never would. 

end of the night, we're alone you ask me where this is goin' but i’m not sayin' nothin' 

Spring came in pink cherry blossom trees, the fresh smell of cut grass, morning rain on the pavement, and the lingering question in your head about Steve. It’d been there for months. Though the pair of you never brought up what happened around Christmas, there was no denying the shift that occurred between you. 

The lingering touches, how Steve offered you his arm everywhere you went, how he always looked to you first to see if you laughed at something he said, the way he’d walk you to every class, even if it made him late to his. 

This wasn’t unlike Steve, he’d always been a gentleman… but not like this. Not to you. Steve had been your first dance in middle school, he always helped you pick what shirt you should wear with your Levi’s, and he carried your bags for you ninety percent of the time, he always had. 

But this? It was different now. It was almost… couplely. And you didn’t know how to bring it up to him. Because you couldn’t get his expression from Christmas out of your head. You hadn’t imagined it. You hadn’t. Things had changed. You just couldn’t figure out how to approach the topic. 

Until Steve found you smoking on your roof one Friday night, probably the only Friday night ever that the two of you hadn’t made plans for. You’d been pulling the joint from your lips when the sound of his tires rolling up on the pavement had you sitting up from where you’d been originally laying. 

Steve stepped out of his car, the sleeves to his shirt rolled up, and his Nikes just barely visible over the length of his jeans. He spotted you almost immediately. “Hey,” he greeted. 

“Hi,” you answered, watching him. “Coming up?”

“You offering to share?”

You started to smirk. “You know I don’t share.” 

Steve entered your house like it was his own, and you shuffled out of the way so he could climb out of your bedroom window to meet you on the roof. The air had just started to chill, and you were only a little cold in your shorts, but you didn’t say this as you passed the spliff to Steve once he was settled. 

“I can’t believe how quickly everything is coming to an end,” he mused into the silence of the night, looking up at the sky that had begun to darken. “We’re finished school in a month.”

“Yeah,” you agreed, a little sad. Not about school, exactly, but about growing up. “I can’t believe it either. How will Hawkins High survive without its king?”

Steve scoffed out a laugh, taking a slow inhale from the blunt, then handing it back to you. “You are ridiculous, just letting you know.”

You grinned, and nudged his shoulder. “You love me.” 

It was something so simple that he’d said the previous summer, something the both of you had brushed off without a second thought, but when the words came out of your mouth, and how things were then, both of you lapsed into silence. 

You couldn’t take it anymore. The buzz from the weed was strong enough for you to ignore your nerves, to ask something you hadn’t been able to do for months. “Steve,” you said, kind of boldly. “What’s going on?”

He matched your curious stare with his own. “What do you mean?”

“With us? I mean…” You swallowed the nerves back down, and took another hit. “Things are weird, aren’t they? You’re doing all of this…” You didn’t want to say boyfriend stuff. Saying boyfriend made it feel too real, too vulnerable. “New stuff with me.”

Steve shrugged. It wasn’t the reaction you were hoping for, and you felt the hope fade from your expression. “I guess I haven’t really noticed.”

“Oh,” was all you managed to say. 

“What kinda stuff are you talking about?”

“Nothin’ Steve,” you said, suddenly wanting to change the topic. “I was just wondering if it meant something else to you, that’s all. But I guess not, since you haven’t even noticed you’re doing it.” 

Steve stilled from next to you. “Something else? D’you… did you want it to mean something else?”

You stared wordlessly at him. Say yes, your mind screamed. Say that you’ve been longing for him for so long you can’t focus anymore. Say he’s your favorite thing about waking up every morning. Say his laugh is the only thing that makes you feel warm, even when it’s in the middle of the summer, and the only thing to do is to lounge in a pool to cool down. Say that you don’t feel whole without him. Say something. 

Instead, you shrugged. “Dunno.”

The two of you didn't speak for the rest of the night, not until Steve was packing up his things and you were walking him out. “We’re okay, right?” He asked at your door. “That conversation…”

“It was just the weed,” you dismissed. “We’re good, Steve. Promise.” 

He nodded, once, then twice, and smiled in your direction. “Good. I’ll see you tomorrow. Night.” 

“Night,” you waved, then shut the door behind him. You squeezed your eyes shut, bracing yourself against the door. Why was this so hard? You knew what you wanted, it was Steve. But there were too many mixed signals coming from his end. And you were getting tired of going around in circles. 

but love's an education, let’s wait 'til graduation

You started dating one of Lucas Sinclair’s cousins sometime after school ended. With your newfound diploma, and your relationship with Steve that seemed to be never ending deja’vu, you were sick of waiting around for something that you weren’t sure would ever happen. So when Jameson Sinclair came down for the summer to visit his family, you took immediate interest in him. 

And so did Steve. He’d watch the way you laughed with him—the way Jameson would pull you in by your jaw to kiss you, and how you’d always tuck your hair behind your ear every time you guys pulled apart. 

He hated it. And he’d done it to himself. The new job he’d gotten at the mall wasn’t enough to distract him from his thoughts, especially with his co-worker Robin Buckley’s knowing looks every time you stopped in to say hi. Robin didn't miss the way Steve looked at you, but you did. 

“I don’t get it,” she’d told Steve one day. “What happened again?”

So Steve would re-tell the story, and Robin would just end up more frustrated. 

“Maybe just tell her what you want,” she suggested. “You probably confused the shit out of her.”

“I can’t tell her,” Steve would say. “She has a boyfriend.” 

The cycle would continue. Until one day, Robin broke it by pulling you aside, and insisting that Steve was miserable without you, that he was a pain every time you came in wearing your shorts that rode too high, and that he was clearly devastated you were with someone else. 

“He’s in love with you,” Robin persisted, but you weren’t having it. 

“No, he’s not. If he wanted me, he’d be with me. I’m not running around in circles anymore.” 

“Don’t you ever think that maybe it’s because he’s scared?” She tried again, and you paused. “He’s hardly got parents. He’s just got you. You’re the only consistent person in his life, and if he fucks it up, he’s done for.”

You supposed she was sort of right. So you didn’t disagree with her, you didn’t say anything at all, actually. Because Steve was miserable—and so were you, just a little. You liked Jameson, you did—but he wasn’t what you really wanted. It was why you decided to break up with him some day in late June. 

And it was also why Steve was so surprised to see you entering his backyard from the gate. He’d gotten off work hours ago, skin tanned and freckled from the sun, hair tossed and highlighted with caramel as you approached. He straightened up on the lounger, brows raised. 

“Hey,” he said, not bothering to hide his shock. “What’re you doing here?”

“Jameson and I broke up,” you said, simply, straight to the point. Steve’s interest peaked. 

“Yeah?”

“Yes,” you repeated, then you pursed your lips. “Are you afraid to be with me?”

Steve stammered. “What? The hell are you talking about?”

“I talked to Robin,” you started, and that was all you needed to say to get Steve up to his feet, groaning. 

“Look, Christ, whatever she told you—”

“Just tell me the truth, Steve. Don’t avoid it,” you took a step closer to him. “I’m sick of avoiding things.”

Steve eyed you, licking his lips, and swallowing before he spoke. “Yes,” he finally said, barely audible. “I’m terrified of being with you. You are so, so important to me, y’know?” He shook his head. “I wanted it to mean something else.” 

You cocked your head, confused, and he started to ramble. “The gestures. Walking you to class. Everything I’ve been doing. Of course I wanted them to mean something else. But I’m scared, because what if we cross this line and things are ruined forever? It’s not… it’s not worth the risk.”

“Steve,” you murmured, reaching to grab his hand. They were warm from the sun, and strong against your own. You could feel your heart pounding in your chest, and you were almost sure he could hear how fast it was beating. “What if it is?”

You tightened your hold on his hand, and all of the worry, the hesitation from Steve’s expression faded, and he was on you in an instant, kissing you with a force that had you clutching at him, just as desperate and eager as he was. Teeth scraping as you both started to grin, his hand on your jaw, tilting it upward so he could kiss you deeper, rougher. The groan you’d let out had him gripping you closer, and you weren’t sure which one of you stumbled over the lawn chair, but you’d both broke apart to laugh, before you reached up to palm Steve’s cheek reassuringly. 

He nodded his forehead against yours, and kissed you again. 

More unsaid words—the silent language only two people so close, so connected, could communicate with. Because you and Steve were best friends. Just that. Until you weren’t. 

#steve harrington #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x fem #steve harrington x you #stranger things #dustin henderson #best friends to lovers

[welovelouisandbucky]

Faith

Teaser

A/n: I'm really sorry for the wait, my Tumblr was not letting me post this it got messy anyway. And I'd like to say English is not my native language and I'm sorry for the mistakes, and positive criticism would very much be appreciated:) and feel free to ask if you want to be added to the taglist

Pairing: Steven Grant x teen!reader Marc Spector x teen!reader

Summary: reader is a single teen parent who lives on her own with her kid. One night her kid went missing and then she found her with none other than our Steven

"Oh bollocks! This is not how it looks I swear!" Steven panics. Stepping away from the pissed off lady, almost like he's trying to run, which makes the situation ten times worse.

Steven has faced many things in life, every worst case scenario possible, you imagine. Whether it was accidentally knocking down the new packages at work that read 'FRAGILE' and almost getting fired afterwards, or when one day he was stepping down from the bus, half awake and half asleep. He tripped over his feet and fell face first and took an old lady with him; he was fine but the lady was hospitalized for weeks. Or one time he was walking around a park, again, half awake he accidentally stepped onto a stray dog's tail. That day he ran like that cameraman for like half an hour and not because the dog stopped chasing him no, no because Marc decided to have little mercy on him by taking control. Even more, but none of them were this bad, where he was being accused of kidnapping a child. 

And the kid approached him first!

He was just back from his soul drowning day at 'work'. Today was a hell of a day. And he wanted nothing more than to just get to his home and feed Gus the second, and plop himself on the bed and drift away to sleep. 

But at the main door as he was finding his keys, he felt a little tug on his pants, looking down he saw a girl no older than three or four, smiling up at him. He instantly tensed up, looking around the lobby trying to figure out who's kid is this, and why did they let the toddler freely roam all over the lobby. Concerned, he scrunched down to her level and began asking her questions softly: where's your mum? What's your name, little love? What are you doing here all by yourself at this time, huh? Do you live here? 

The girl answered some of them by nodding her head, and quietly said her name,"Faith," and pointed to the door behind Steven. 

He picked her up and was ready to return her safely to her mum, but then a girl barged through the door. In alarmed mode Steven took a step back, second mistake. Don't ever step back if you are returning a child to their guardian, it will make the situation worse. And that's what Steven didn't know, so here he is panicking. 

Suddenly Marc decided to speak up.

Put the fucking kid down, you moron! You look like you're 'bout to run off with her! 

Marc shouts at Steven, clearly just as panicked as Steven. Steven looks at the kid he is holding and immediately puts her down, the probable guardian of the child takes Faith into her arms, protectively. 

…

Panic. Fear. Guilt.

Is what y/n had been feeling since Faith disappeared. 

All this happened in one minute. She had just left her in the living room to put the folded clothes in their place and when she returned, boom, Faith wasn't there. She searched the whole apartment, looking for a single sign of Faith but no, it's like she disappeared into thin air. But just to be confirmed before reaching out to police she checked the whole apartment twice but still no trace of Faith. She started crying three minutes after Faith's disappearance, so near to panic attack. She is blaming herself for it. If she hadn't left Faith all by herself she would've been in her arms watching Frozen, but putting clothes away was more important than her fucking daughter! 

She's scared to death, if something happened to Faith she'll never forgive herself for it. How can she let this happen in the first place? Million wrong things crossing her mind, what if something happened to her? What if she got hurt? Or worse, what if someone kidnapped her? Or what if she somehow gets to the road and car–no no no, this can't be real. This has to be a dream! This is the worst nightmare ever. 

She quickly picks up her phone and gets out of the apartment. If she has to take her daughter from Lucifer's lap she'll do it without missing a beat, she'll do anything for her. Two steps out the door, she sees her. Her Faith, in the arms of their weird neighbour. The guy who trashed the bathroom of the museum and got fired, and that's not it. Everyone has been saying he talks to himself a lot. And the sweet lady down the lobby said, one time in the elevator he started screaming out of sudden, and there was nothing. Everyone in the building said he's crazy, and needs the help of a psychiatrist. He always looked like hadn't slept for years with the dark circles under his eyes, and a deep frown on his face. And always clumsily walking into walls and or doors, and talking to some imaginary people. He looked like he's on drugs all the time, and the museum news says it all. He is walking a red flag, and you were his neighbor living right across from him. 

You always kept Faith out of his gaze and changed your path whenever you saw him somewhere. 

And seeing him with your daughter, terrified you. You shot over there and yelled at him. 

"What the hell are you doing with my child?!" You are fuming with anger. He looked at you panicked, taking a step back and that angered you more.

"Oh bollocks! This is not how it looks, I swear!" He said taking yet another step backwards, and let go of Faith. You quickly pull her into a protective mama bear hug. Relief washing over you. 

"Look, I know that was looking bad but I swear I wasn't trying to do what you're thinking, I swear!" He speaks up suddenly, you glare daggers into his soul. Scared, he backs up. 

#marvel #marvel incorrect quotes #incorrest meme #steven grant #moon knight #marc spector #moon knight memes #moon knight incorrect quotes #moon knight x teen!reader #steven grant x teen!reader #marc spector x teen!reader #x reader #marvel fanfic #marvel moon knight #steven grant x reader #marc spector fanart #marc spector x reader #moon knight boys #khonshu #marvel x platonic reader #marvel x teen!reader #moon knight x teen reader

[frecklystars]

Hi, I'm the stranger that dropped you an ask some time ago. I actually followed you to see how are you. I really want you to get better, as your story saddened me a lot. I hate to see people in the community hurt. Especially because of others in the same community.

I saw your post with the story about how you meet Steve Blum, and because it mentioned your art I allowed myself to looked through your art pieces on your blog... and I have to say they are really amazing! You are truly talented Keri! I hope things would get better, so you can share more amazing art of yours with the world ❤❤❤ I know I will patiently wait for it to happen.

I wanted to let you know, that I still believe in you, and I'm wholeheartedly rooting for you! You can get better even if now it may seem impossible. It truly is. It just takes time, and the mindset. And I know that you are able to pull this off. You're amazing! Time will heal a lot of things, and the rest, human kindness. I know you would get better. Take care, and you would be able to chill in no time. Sending love from other side of the globe ❤❤❤

Wow, thank you.... wow. I had to reread this a few times bc it made me feel so comforted ;-; That's really sweet that you saw my absolute mess of a post coming back, and still followed me just to check up on me 🥺🥺 thank you for telling me! I was so so so scared when I was coming back to tumblr, I had the expectation that nobody had noticed my long unplanned disappearance and that my feelings wouldn't be valid, but I can't believe how wrong I was and literally everybody has stuck by my side thru ALL of it. I'm very touched and it's asks like yours that remind me that it's okay for me to feel kinda messy right now 💕💕

Oh gosh, thank you for liking my art!!!! I haven't drawn consistently in such a long time. Any reminder of the work I once did is so special to me, I can't wait til the day I'm able to draw self ship every week like I used to 🥰✨ I'm sooo so so so flattered you enjoy my artwork!!

I've actually joined an art group/club(?) this week, and even just one session with a group of other artists did wonders for me. I managed to make a full body, fully colored/shaded illustration yesterday when I was in the group!!! It only took me like 3 hours and it was complete!!! And I was so so so proud of myself! It wasn't self ship, it was a gift for one of my coworkers for her upcoming anniversary, but still!! I'm so happy I did it!! That's sooo so so so big for me because the last time I was able to make a fully colored drawing was back in December (unless if you count the one drawing I made where i'm hugging Tricerashot). I haven't even doodled anything in several months, let alone a fully colored drawing, so I'm hoping that consistently attending this group is gonna help me get back into the habit of drawing... also it's extremely helpful for me to be supported by so many nice people in the same room.

You really said it, time and human kindness. I want to believe healing is possible. I notice that I genuinely feel so so so so so much lighter in my heart when I'm spending time with others and remembering that there's so many good ppl in the world. I don't want to be the kind of person that automatically assumes everyone is out to get me, I want to trust my friends wouldn't betray me or have any malicious intentions towards me. I've been hanging out with friends at least twice a week every week in person, and wow it's a huge noticeable positive difference... and of course opening these messages every once in a while and seeing encouragement makes my day as well~ so thank you for believing in me, and rooting for me!!! I can feel your love all the way from over here in my corner of the world! Anon, I am sending you lots of love and hugs and star-shaped wishes!! 🌟✨

#anonymous #asks #keepsake #and i love hearing from you! thank you for coming into my inbox! :D

[wanderella-w]

A mostly sunny stretch (day 10-12)

Okay, so I had a whole post typed out about day 10 (twice) but apparently Tumblr lets posts disappear when trying to upload them with a bad internet connection. Anyways, what basically happened is, I walked from just behind Bude to Crackington Haven with one of the steepest ascents of the trip (see video) and nice whether. In Crackington Haven I met Rosa again (quite amazing that she just arrived 10 minutes before me considering it was already around lunchtime) and that night we camped a few km before Boscatle. I was glad to see her again! We immediately tried the duct tape on her dried up shoes to see how it would survive the day. Unfortunately, it didn't.

The next day we came through Boscatle, a town which we loved. If I had to move to Cornwall (no idea why I would have to but anyways) I would chose Boscatle! It was a small town with one bakery, one book shop, one outdoor shop, a small supermarkt and a YHA that was even cuter than the one we had stayed in. The National Trust (the organization maintaining all the hiking paths) had their office there and the surroundings were beautiful. We kept walking and it got warm and sunny. Was this the gulf stream they had all been telling us about? We could also tell that we were now in Cornwall as the landscape had changed. It was less rugged and the cliffs (if you could still call them that) were more like hills softly crumbling into the sea. The water where we walked now was very blue. We had lunch at a touristy spot (some King Arthur related castle) and as it was Saturday it was quite busy. At night we found a beautiful camping spot next to the river, a few km before Port Isaac.

(First picture is the YHA youth hostel in Boscatle, it was still closed)

The next day was a bit rough for me in the beginning, even though the whether was beautiful. My body felt heavy, maybe it was because zo hadn't had a rest day yet, or just because we were actually climbing quite a lot of hills. After a coffee at a coffee truck that appeared just at the right time in the right place (Port Quin), I was re-energized and we actually had a great rest of the day. We were in a chatty mood, talking a lot with each other and with strangers on the path (It was still the weekend, so quite busy). We met quite a few people who were also doing the coast path, mostly one weekend at a time. Some people were asking if we were wild camping and they were all enthousiastic about our plans. We took the ferry from Rock to Padstow, and had an hour of time to relax afterwards (and to do our obligatory cooldown), before we hopped on the bus to our youth hostel in Treyarnon Bay. We booked two night in this hostel as it is also on the path - the plan is to reach it tomorrow walking after going to the outdoor store in Padstow in the morning to look for new hiking shoes. My feet keep getting wet and the shoes take days to dry, so I think this is really the only option. Altogether this means we only need to pack a daypack tomorrow which is a great foresight!

PS: Rosa lost one of her zip-pant legs, so now she looks like a 60-year old tourist who JUST LOVES Cornwall.

PPS: Yes, we can also observe spring spring! While a week ago we still saw frog eggs beneath a layer of snow (see photo), we saw them hatched yesterday! We saw duffadils (Narzissen) all along the way but now we also see some wild flowers here and there, and in the past three days I have seen butterflies and bumblebees.

Update: I wrote this post on the 19th, today is the the 20st of March and we are going to Newquay with the bus instead of Padstow because they have better outdoor stores there. Not sure if there will be any hiking today.

[pearl-blue-musings]

i’m feeling really really bad about myself. how do you convince your brain to stop hating yourself and that you deserve to be happy? it’s been 2 decades and i still wonder if i’m better off dead most days. it sucks even more because i have nothing to be sad about. objectively my life is great. but realistically i can’t help but feel like the world is better off without me.

i apologize if this is trauma dumping. i know you struggle with self-image sometimes too, so i was just wondering if you have any tricks or healthy coping mechanisms to sorta reset your mindset. seeing you on my dash makes my day most times, though. even when your sad, you always have such a community rallying around you, and i don’t. if i disappeared tomorrow i can guarantee no one would notice lol. not even my partner. he’d probably be relieved he didn’t have to deal with my mood swings. this is too much and i’m sorry, i am. pls delete, i kinda just needed to tell someone how i was feeling without being scared of someone being mean about it, like all the “friends” who can’t be bothered to text back or whatever. and with how kind and thoughtful and nice you always are, i didn’t think you would be mean like that, or make me feel like i deserve to be this sad. thank you for being a reason i smile these days, i’m sorry if this is a reason to frown. you deserve only happiness, and i really hope you’re happy now and for all of your days.

Hey anon,

Take a deep breath for me alright? Apologies for the late response but I wanna make sure I get this right. Please don’t disappear okay? I can relate to feeling like no one would care cause I still feel like that, but the truth is your family and friends would care. Sometimes it takes reaching out to others to have them help and asking for help isn’t always easy. I have to tell myself sometimes that I matter in this world and it’s hard to take but it’s something that I have to do. I have an affirmation app that sends me things once or twice an hour because I know my mental state can be fickle. And two decades is barely scraping the surface of life, and I’ve gotta tell myself that as I’m heading into turning 30.

And I’m absolutely lucky and blessed to have people even notice when I shit post about being sad. I’ll post and I doubt anyone will listen to me or even sympathize. I know my feelings and emotions can be heavy and a lot so I also understand if people don’t wanna interact if it’s too much. And if those “friends” aren’t responding then maybe they’re not the support system you need. Go where you’re loved and wanted. Go where people want to see you succeed and want to see you alive and well. No one deserves to be sad or to feel this way okay? Not you, not me, not your family, not your friends, no one alright? And remember to breath for me okay?

I know talking to people helps but I also write fanfics to help me. If you’re into journaling you could try that out too. Find something to get your feelings out in a healthy way, I know doing art is helpful and for some it’s physical activity (but not me cause I tried that and it doesn’t do much lol) but find something you love and take some time out of each day to do it. Always do some self care and check in with your physical, mental, and emotional health. Your tumblr community, if anything else, will be here for you 💜

#elle’s anons #elle’s advice #I hope this helps anon #and please feel better soon #being in this state of mind is awful

[darkstar225]

Twice's 10th member can't learn the group's comeback lyrics ft 3mix

A/N: Hey guys, I'm sorry for disappearing but I got my wisdom teeth out so yeah- lol. Anyway- I got an ask on Tumblr and I loved writing it, ty anon! :D

The request: Can you do a 3mix where the 10th member is having trouble with singing her part or dancing one part of the song(You can pick) and jihyo(or any member you wants) comes in and help them like soyeon and g-(idle).

PS: Tysm for everyone that reads what I write, I hope I can bring a smile to your faces every time I post! I'd like to thank whoever sent me this idea 'cause I loved to write it <3

__________________________________________________________

In the heart of Seoul, the bustling city that never slept, TWICE prepared for yet another electrifying performance. The air hummed with anticipation as fans from all corners of the world gathered to witness the magic of their idols. Among the sea of faces that adorned the stadium, Y/N's heart raced with both excitement and a tinge of anxiety.

Y/N had joined TWICE as the youngest member, and while the journey had been a whirlwind of dreams come true, it wasn't without its challenges. As the 10th member, she found herself sandwiched between the experienced and the new. Her singing progress had been one of the reasons she had secured her spot in the group, yet tonight, that very talent had decided to play tricks on her.

It was a crucial point in their set, where TWICE's star had a solo line that she was supposed to deliver with the kind of power that could shake an audience to its core. But tonight, the power seemed to have abandoned her. Every time she tried to belt out the notes, her voice faltered, as if the melody had slipped through her fingers like sand.

Y/N's frustration scaled with each unsuccessful attempt. She knew the others were counting on her, and the thought of letting her fellow members down weighed heavily on her heart. She almost stepped away from the practice room, her vision blurred with tears of frustration.

However, Nayeon and Jeongyeon, the unnie duo of the group, exchanged a knowing look as they noticed their child's frustration. They had seen this look before, the one that whispered of doubts and insecurities. With a shared glance, they left their positions and joined the younger girl by the side of the practice room.

Nayeon - Hey, baby. You know, even the best singers have their off days. It's just a part of being human.

Jeongyeon nodded, her expression soft.

Jeongyeon - Absolutely, kiddo. And it's okay to feel frustrated, but remember, you're not alone in this. We're a family, and we support each other through everything.

The maknae managed a small smile, feeling a bit of the weight on her shoulders lift. 

Y/N - Thank you, unnies. I'm just worried about letting everyone down.

Nayeon chuckled, her voice light. 

Nayeon - You? Letting us down? Love, you've already proven yourself time and time again. We have no doubts about your talent.

Jeongyeon nodded in agreement. 

Jeongyeon - Exactly. And besides, even if things don't go perfectly, we'll still be there with you. We've got your back.

Y/N's heart warmed at their words, a renewed sense of determination filling her chest. 

Y/N - This means a lot to me, unnies. I'll do my best!

As Nayeon and Jeongyeon exchanged smiles with Y/N, a new presence entered the scene. It was Jihyo, the group's charismatic leader and an incredible vocal powerhouse herself (I mean- wow). TWICE's angel looked up to her, her eyes reflecting a mix of embarrassment and vulnerability. She had always admired Jihyo's nurturing nature and her undeniable presence that commanded respect.

Jihyo reached out and gently touched her kid's arm. 

Jihyo - Hey, it's okay. Can I sit with you for a moment?

Y/N nodded, feeling a lump forming in her throat. They settled on a plush couch, the atmosphere filled with an unspoken understanding. Jihyo's presence was like a soothing balm even if she couldn't even begin to explain how worried she was about her girl, and Y/N found herself instinctively leaning into it.

Jihyo - Is something bothering you, honey? 

Y/N - I... I don't know, I've been practising my part, but I just can't seem to hit the notes right tonight. It's frustrating, and I don't want to mess up the performance! *frowns*

Jihyo nodded, her expression empathetic. 

Jihyo - You know, not getting everything right is part of being an artist. But you're not alone in this. We're a team, and we support each other through the highs and the lows.

Y/N wiped away a tear that had escaped her eye. 

Y/N - I know, but I don't want to drag everyone else down. They're all depending on me.

Jihyo's smile was both reassuring and sincere (kinda motherly too). 

Jihyo - You're not dragging anyone down, lovebug. We're here for you, just like you're here for us. And as for your part, let's work on it together.

With a heartwarming determination, Jihyo stood up and offered her hand to TWICE's sunshine.

Jihyo - Come on, let's head back to the practice room babe.

Y/N hesitated for a moment before taking Jihyo's hand. The warmth of her leader's touch was comforting, like a lifeline in the midst of her uncertainty. As they walked back to the practice room, the girl found herself stealing glances at Jihyo. She admired the way Jihyo carried herself, both as a leader and as a best friend.

Back in the practice room, Jihyo sat beside Y/N at the piano. She began to play the melody, and Y/N tentatively joined in. Her voice wavered, but this time, there was a sense of companionship that eased her nerves.

Jihyo's eyes met her dongsang's, and she smiled encouragingly. 

Jihyo - You've got this, sweet girl. Believe in yourself, just like we believe in you.

With Jihyo's unwavering support, the maknae sang her part once again. This time, her voice soared, carrying with it a newfound confidence. The notes that had seemed elusive before now flowed effortlessly from her lips.

As they finished the song, Y/N let out a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding. Jihyo's applause was genuine, her smile radiant. 

Jihyo - See? You're amazing, boo. And remember, I'm here whenever you need a little extra support.

Y/N felt a rush of gratitude, a warmth that radiated from her heart. 

Y/N - Thank you, Omma Jihyo.

Jihyo's laughter was like music, filling the room with infectious joy. 

Jihyo - Omma, huh? I like that. Just remember, we're all family here.

As the concert lights dimmed and TWICE took the stage, Y/N stood among her fellow unnies, her heart brimming with newfound strength. And as she sang her solo part, she felt the echoes of Jihyo's support guiding her every note. The crowd roared in approval, the energy of the moment transcending the challenges that had led to it.

In the end, Y/N learned that even in the face of trouble, the bonds of friendship and the power of encouragement could transform a moment of doubt into a triumph of the heart. And as she gazed out at the sea of cheering fans, she knew that she was not only living her dream but sharing it with a family that would always stand by her side and that made her have only one thought:

I love my dear older sisters.

A/N: I apologise for any errors, English is not my first language. Pls, let me know if there's something wrong, ty for reading <3

#kpop imagines #kpop gg #twice fluff #twice x reader #twice imagines #twice scenarios #twice #twice 10th member #twice added member #twice addition #twice x y/n #twice x you #nayeon #nayeon x reader #jeongyeon #jeongyeon x reader #jihyo #jihyo x reader #momo #momo x reader #sana #sana x reader #mina #mina x reader #dahyun #dahyun x reader #chaeyoung #chaeyoung x reader #tzuyu #tzuyu x reader

[helpyeungrowup]

a glimpse into one of my anxious fits

im back

and while i was gone quite a lot happened.

the journaling challenge went downhill but with that my mental state also went down

i experienced a near death experience but that's for another post for another day

i fell into a slump and it's so hard to get back up but i can feel myself slowly get up and I'm proud of myself for that.

today's post is just a copy and paste from what i typed for my spam post but i typed too much that i couldn't post.

but i think it is better if this was added to my tumblr.

i get asked "what goes through your mind when you're anxious or when you feel an anxiety attack coming" and honestly it differs. It really just depends on how bad my anxiety is and whos around me, but this is one scene just to help you step into my life for a brief moment.

though I would like you to step into a moment of my life where I'm happy and not anxious...i think it would be fun if you walked in my shoes at a time when I'm the most vulnerable and hopeless.

i hope this story doesnt change the way you see me and please don't pity me.

so lets take a deep breath *breathe in 1...2...3... breathe out*

ok enjoy!

thoughts thoughts thoughts 

feelings feelings feelings 

but no way to verbally say them out loud 

memories of the ups and downs of life is always exciting to reminisce about but when you go too far into reminiscing you fall into immense feelings of vulnerability, humility, and…guilt. 

then you start to blame yourself about how you think. you tell yourself that your mindset is all wrong but then you realize it’s the mindset that armored you throughout your emotionally draining and traumatic past…and then you feel like you’ve lost some type of life battle. you’ve won and fought through your past but now that your surroundings have changed and you’ve gained knowledge and age…you’re independent mindset is hurting you and it may potentially hurt the most important people around you. and then at this moment you wonder “what do i do? what can i do?” with ur palms sweating from the anxiety and the realization that your palms are sweaty makes you think your palms are sticky and gross and everything around you is bothering you because everything seems off by a millimeter and your mind starts to spiral and now you feel like your whole body is shaking and so you run to the restroom to wash off the stickiness just to find yourself hovering over the toilet because you feel like you’re going to throw up all of your organs. 

plop. plop. plop. 

you turn to look at yourself in the mirror and you go “you’re being dramatic. stop.” 

you wipe off the tears. you wash your hands…twice maybe three times. fourth for good measure. fuck it. until all the moisture in your hands is gone and you can see the wrinkles clearly on your palms.

you check to see if the redness around your eyes disappeared and then you walk back acting like nothing happened. 

just like nothing happened. 

and you sit back down. 

reminiscing about your damn past that’s ruining your body at that moment while you feel your heart beat faster and harder. 

badump…badump…badumpbadumpba-

you take a deep breath

drink water… but you let the water just sit in your mouth until it gets warm then it’s disgusting and your effort to calm down worsens a bit 

and you find temporary comfort in a hug

no words. just a hug. 

comfort because the person with you loves you and you love her.

temporary because when you let go the thoughts and feelings rush back like a wave. 

you drown back into your anxiety. 

after a few moments have passed the tide falls low and you don’t feel as bad anymore but you fall tired. 

your night ends with your body feeling like an empty shell and all you can do is anticipate the next wave of anxiety to pull you in and trap you. 

and scene.

also move to heaven is a really good drama i recommend it! do note that its not a light and young drama like business proposal.

ok bye bye i hope you enjoyed the anxiety <3

[yesimwriting]

Falling Angels: chapter two

A/n took me longer to get around to writing part 2 than i thought!! i didn’t know there was an audience for this idea but im glad you guys liked it!!

Im adding a country to the grishaverse to make my story work,, def not a big deal i just needed a country in which i could control the history of without worrying about conflicting with cannon lol 

Link to part one: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/yesimwriting/652318577650696192 (lmk if this works ive never linked something to a tumblr post lol)

Series Summary: Y/n is a rising star in the most famous circus in Ketterdam because of her ability to see the future. Unfortunately for her, Kaz Brekker knows more of her backstory than he should, and he’s willing to use that to his advantage. The one thing he’s not betting on? That he doesn’t know her entire story

Chapter summary: Y/n gets a visitor before getting tricked into the most dangerous show of her life. 

Pairng: SOC x reader, Kaz Brekker x sunshine-y! Psychic! Reader 

--

My father seemed to love me more after two glasses of something amber. It was after these two glasses that he would tell me realities his inebriated self believed I needed to internalize. He’d pat my head affectionately and smiled at me as he told me that the world was a bad place. Most of his lessons are lost in my mind, but the one I remember most clearly is that there’s no such thing as a kept secret. There’s always a leak or a flaw or a factor you could not account for. He told me that if I wanted to keep a secret, I would have to decide what I was willing to risk for it. 

I know from Seria’s reaction to his presence that listening to Kaz is a risk, but it’s a risk I’m willing to take for my secret. “I don’t know what you think I am, but you’re mistaken.” It doesn’t really matter that he believes me. I have the paperwork I need to disprove him. “I have to get to my tent.” 

“The princess gets her own tent?” His words are saturated by mock casualness but I can feel his pride on how he delivered that line. 

My body is still tense from balancing over flames and his confidence only adds to my desire to unravel. I can’t get angry here. Not at him. Not with the way he grips that cane of his. “I don’t understand what--” 

“You may be able to play pretend here where no one wants to look twice at you, but I know what you are.” His stiffness leaves my skin prickling. “I know who you are.” 

I swallow back my panic. “Then who am I?” 

“You’re that king’s bastard--the one with a high bounty on her head.” Don’t back down. Even the smallest crack will confirm his story. “As long as she’s returned alive.” 

Thoughts of what my father would do to me if ever given the chance strike me with more anxiety than his presence does. “I’ve heard of the girl you’re talking about,” I admit, the lie leaving me as easily as the air leaves my lungs when I exhale. “But I’m not her.” 

“You’re not from Ketterdam, if you were you would have known who I was after you friend referred to me as Dirtyhands.” I have no defense, but I never claimed to be from Ketterdam. “You make your business claiming to be a psychic.” I am a psychic, but now is not the time to make that argument. “Elkosa is a relatively small and self efficient port kingdom, the island is nothing more than a jagged coastline barely larger than Ketterdam, but I have connections in all places.” He knows someone from Elkosa? I have to fight the instinct to move all of my weight on the balls of my feet, prepared to run. “A captain of the royal fleet told me the story of the night the King’s bastard ran into the meeting room the night before ten ships were meant to sail to Ravka.” 

He studies my reaction as I struggle to keep my expression blank. “None of that seems connected.” 

“Patience is a virtue most Saints are familiar with.” I roll my eyes. “The bastard couldn’t have been more than nine at the time, but the guards did not want to let her in. The King told them to let her interrupt. The sailor noted this because he had never made an exception to his meeting before. The girl described a nightmare to her father, a nightmare of a storm and ten dead birds. The king did not comfort her, she finished her story by saying that he asked to know about all of her dreams. She went back upstairs and the King continued the meeting as normal but the next day the King cancelled the trip.”

I remember that night as the night I realized that if I’m not careful, I’ll feel what I see in my visions. It felt like I was drowning. I felt the death of each of those men and instead of comforting me, my father nodded once like I had offered him advice and sent me back to my room. “And?” My defense is weak, my mind too lost in the memories of drowning. “Many smaller countries are superstitious.” 

“The next day the worst storm to have impacted that ocean occurred. For four nights and three days the storm continued.” 

I press my nails into my palms. “You don’t believe that I am precognitive, so that sailor’s unverified story has nothing to do with me.” 

“A princess that can see the future disappears at the same time a failing circus hires a girl who has no business in this city who claims to be able to see the future.” He adjusts his stance, taking pressure off the cane as if he’s preparing to need to use it for something else. “I am not fool enough to believe in coincidence.” 

“And I am not fool enough to crack beneath the vague threats of a man. In my experience, men always threaten with a blade when really all they’re in possession of is a butter knife. Try to drag me from here kicking and screaming, find a way to incapacitate me and put me on a ship to Elkosa, but when the King sees that you brought him a stranger he will have your head.” 

He blinks, expression hard as stone. I tense, preparing for a physical blow. “I didn’t expect you to be a half-decent liar, but I should have.” I bite my tongue to avoid resorting to something I can’t take back. Like begging. “Even if it’s in only half your blood.” 

“I am not her.” My stubbornness burns more than the need to survive. I inhale, hoping to shake the grasp of the sensation but it only worsens. The pinch of dread in my chest is heavy and familiar. A vision. 

No. Not now--not in front of him. I push against it even though I know that only makes it worse. Not now. Not now. I should be grounding myself but all I can think about is how stupid I am and how bad this situation is.

--

“I’m not an idiot, I know to be quiet. I see myself crouched somewhere dark. 

“Being defensive doesn’t make you any more intelligent.” It takes me a minute to recognize Kaz in the darkness. 

We’re somewhere small, our backs against the same wall but our shoulders do not touch. This vision is enshrouded by the feel of panic. 

This other me grimaces, but her eyes lack anger, “Remind me why I agreed to help you again?” 

“You never told me why,” he admits, “you can change your mind on participating and I can change my mind on whether or not you're more useful than your father’s money.”

Something loud crashes from behind the door we’re both staring at. “You’ll have no use for me or my father’s money if we die here.” I squeeze my hands together. 

He hesitates, “My ghost will.” 

The future-me almost smiles. “I wonder if I’ll be able to see ghost futures.” I hesitate, something strange behind my eyes. “I wonder if that can exist, if there’s a future beyond endings.” 

Future-Kaz is silent for a long second. “There should be,” he says, “for someone like you, at least.” 

I watch the way I take in his words. “You’d be there, too,” my voice is low, “your ghost at least.” I turn my head, staring at the door instead of him, “If you weren’t, I’d miss the brooding.” 

--

The vision leaves me with sweaty palms and swirling thoughts. All of my visions do that. Not all of them make me feel so confused. Apparently, he needs help and I agree to do so. At one point we’ll be pushed into a life or death situation and I won’t loathe him. 

I blink twice, forcing myself to hold onto the reality in front of me. I don’t have to agree--the future isn’t set in stone. For all I know tomorrow morning I’ll have a vision in which he kills me. 

“Are you ignoring me?” 

Shaking my head, I turn to face him. “You need help.” I don’t wait for his reaction. “You’re not here to return someone to the King of Elkosa, you’re here because you need someone that can see the future.” 

“I--” 

“It’s not that you won’t take me to Elkosa, it’s that you’d rather use my abilities for something.”

I’m confusing him again, but that’s okay. I’d rather deal with him confused than angry. “I need to know how a certain business deal of mine is going to be worth what it costs.”

He’s spent the entire time claiming he doesn’t believe in my power. Was that some kind of tactic? In the vision I saw, despite the panic surrounding the situation I didn’t feel panicked around him. The probability of that future occurring is probably low. I’ve been wrong before, the future changes too much for me to know everything. 

“That’s not how readings work,” I admit, “I don’t have that much control on them. Most of them come to me randomly. The events I see always involve me or someone I care about to a certain capacity. I can give someone a general glimpse into their future but I can’t promise I’ll see what they want. Sometimes I can see the general vision by just focusing on their energy but usually I need some physical contact for it to work.” That seems like a fair explanation. “Oh--and not all of my predictions come true, most are blurry, few are solid--the future is always moving.” 

Wait...the vision I saw where I was with Kaz wasn’t blurry. Those can be wrong, but it’s much rarer. Do I really agree to this? 

“Then maybe I should make it involve you.” His aggression has me forcing myself to stand my ground. He can threaten me all he wants but that won’t change things. “Or take the money your father would give me and cut my losses.” 

Every time I’ve purposefully destroyed a solid vision, something bad has happened. I’m genuinely considering it. “What do you need a psychic for, anyways?” 

“To get through the Fold.” 

Despite everything, I laugh. “I’ve never seen anyone get through the Fold, literally or in my visions.” 

He’s unphased by my doubt. “It’s happened.” 

I really don’t want to help him. “Well then good luck, I’m happy to part ways here.” 

I manage one step forward before he moves his cane in front of my path. I’m getting tired of this. “You’re assisting me one way or the other, whether that aid will be financial or through your services is up to you.” 

Anger pinches in my stomach the way it often does when I’m told what to do. The one thing centering me is the vision still reflecting in my thoughts. There’s no denying it--I had felt comfortable with him. There is a future in which I feel comfortable with him and I’m not sure I’ll be able to avoid it. 

“I won’t get in trouble for you,” I tell him, “The Ringmaster holds onto those indentured to him, especially the commodities that bring him profit.” 

There’s something stiff about his silence. I wonder if he’s always like this, pushing the weight of his presence onto those around him without saying a word. “When I have a goal, it is achieved. I’ll speak to him.” 

I cannot imagine a conversation I want to be involved in less. The Ringmaster and this man that Seria had labeled ‘Dirtyhands’. “I just had a vision--I saw your entire conversation and it ends with you missing an arm.” His stoic expression does not shift. “Okay, I’m aware that it wasn’t the funniest joke, but throw me a bone--you threatened to kidnap me and sell me to my father in order to extort me and I’ve been nothing but polite to you.” 

He’s quiet for a moment, something in his expression changing in a way I can’t read. “All you’ve done is lie since the moment you started to speak to me.” 

The optimist in me would like to think that his annoyance counts for banter. I shrug, feeling a little lighter than I did a second ago. I’m certainly not comfortable but I’m starting to see how to put up with the tension without letting it strain me. “Well, polite for my standards.” 

I let him brood. “You must have done well as a royal.” 

My past cuts through the peace I managed to grab onto. It’s not his fault, he has no way of knowing what the castle was like for me. I open my mouth, but I don’t know what I’m going to say. “I had my moments,” I finally settle on, hoping the echo of pain isn’t visible behind my eyes. 

I guess it doesn’t matter if he sees me bleed. He’s heartless, and I hate sympathy. 

“Y/n,” Seria’s voice is genuine anger, “You’ve turned into an idiot--first the tightrope walk and now entertaining whatever deal he’s trying to coax from you.” I love Seria, she’s the reason I didn’t die in the street when I first arrived in Ketterdam, but she sees me as a mindless child. “Whatever he told you, whatever he promised you--it’s a lie.” 

“He hasn’t promised me anything.” I need to calm her down. Once she’s calm, everything will be normal again. “And he knows.” I don’t have to turn to feel the way Seria gapes at me. “He knows who I am, so I have to do what he wants.” 

“You never have to do anything a man is forcing onto you, y/n. We’ll find a way--” 

“Seria, it’s fine,” I reach to touch her arm, “I’ll be fine, you can’t protect me from everything and you don’t have to.” 

Kaz throws a pointed glare at the man who was with him earlier. When did the stranger get here? “Boss, she’s faster than she looked, but I have what we need to get the girl--” 

“You’re late,” Kaz sighs, bored, “she’s agreed.” 

Wait--what was he going to do if I didn’t agree? “Out of curiosity, what are you talking about?” The man blinks twice, squeezing a rag between his ring-clad fingers. “You were going to use chloroform to kidnap me, weren’t you?” 

For some reason I don’t understand, the stranger gives me a look that’s a cross between sheepish and charming. “Nothing personal.” 

“Or original.” 

Seria pinches my arm. “Y/n,” she scolds, “your sense of humor is going to kill me one of these days.” 

I cringe, pulling my arm away. “When I met you, you were pickpocketing in the pleasure district, please remember that.” 

She rolls her eyes. “An attitude like that is going to leave you without a place to sleep at night.” 

I take her comment for the empty threat it is. Every other day she’s threatening to kick me out of her private trailer so that I’m forced to fight for cots or speak to the Ringmaster about my lodging arrangements. He’d give me what I want, but speaking to him feels so slimy I’d sleep in the woods before trying it. 

“Kaz.” I turn my head in time to see the girl that gave me the advice about the tightrope walker. “We need to go, he’s coming soon--you’ll do better to speak to him in the morning after she’s gone, that way he has nothing to hold over your head.” 

“Once I’m gone?” The girl had called me a Saint. I can appeal to her. “I’m not--I’m not going anywhere, I said I’d help.” 

Her eyes widen, sympathy reflected clearly in her dark irises. “There was never a version of this in which you ended up staying here.” I hear a hint of apology in her voice. “You won’t believe me, but I promise this will be better for you.” All of her pity is gone with those, replaced by something hard.

Seria responds for me, “I think you should go.” 

“What?” 

She almost smiles, but her eyes are painfully sad. “I never wanted you to be here forever. I don’t trust these people, but I trust their ability to get you out of here, even if only for a little while. Bad things are coming, and I think you’ll miss the worst of it if you go now.” 

What she alludes to is a blade in my heart. “You want me to leave you here to deal with it?” 

“Y/n, I’ve been hurt here more times than I can count--”

“No, I won’t leave y--” 

Seria squeezes my shoulder, “It’s not forever.” When she wants something, it’s almost impossible to get around it. “Besides, if I need you, you’ll see it.” 

My world feels to have lost the vibrance of color. I’ve left so much, but I let myself believe I wouldn’t leave her. I pull her into the hug. “The moment I see a vision of you in any type of danger, I’m coming back.” I hug her even tighter when she tries to pull away so that I can whisper something in her ear, “I’ll use this opportunity to leave the Ringmaster and then I’ll get you out, and together we’ll leave Ketterdam. We’ll find your child, like you always wanted to and they’ll know that they're lucky because they’re the only kid in the world to have you as a mother.” 

She squeezes me so tightly I find it hard to take full breaths. “Two,” Seria whispers, “I have two children.”

My eyes burn as her words find their way into my heart. “I love you, Seria.” 

“I love you too, my star,” she pulls away enough so that I can look her in the eye, “you don’t like being called a Saint, but I can’t think of anyone more deserving of the title.” 

Tears prick my eyes as she releases me. “I’ll find you.” 

“He’ll be coming soon,” the girl warns, “He spoke to an advisor about wanting to find you after the show.” 

No doubt to praise the fire stunt he forced onto me. Bastard. I nod once but I don’t move. I can’t bring myself to leave Seria until the girl places a hand on my elbow. 

--

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