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tonicandjins · 11 months

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frequent flyers | lee donghyuck

CHARACTERS: haechan | lee donghyuck x fem reader

WORD COUNT: 13k

GENRE: angst, fluff, smut (non-linear) | best friends to strangers

AUTHOR'S NOTE: read with caution. this is written in a non-linear form, so you don't know when it's going to hurt ;) this is a dh x reader version of my markhyuck fic from ao3, but with a different ending

frequent flyers is the third installment from 23 moments with donghyuck

Donghyuck looks beautiful like this: skin glowing under the dainty string lines and lined up lanterns hanging from the high ceilings, lips curled up to genuine smile instead of the usual teasing smirk plastered on his mouth, cheeks tainted in berry red—a single manifestation of the glasses of wine he’s had tonight, eyes round and sincere and everything you’ve ever known.

Zhong Chenle’s mellifluous voice echoes in the banquet, singing to the tune of lover as the newly weds take their first dance (third song in) in the middle of the floor, surrounded by couples and lovers swaying. From your peripheral view, you catch a glimpse of Park Jisung sneaking his phone out and recording the whole thing—after Chenle clearly mentioned no one else aside from the newlyweds’ assigned videographer is allowed to film him.

On other days, you’d love to listen to Chenle’s golden voice, and he knows this because from all the years you’ve known him, you’d supported his career and you’d spend many hours sitting in his studio, listening to him record, or sitting somewhere halfway across the world, watching him write his songs. I can listen to him sing all day, you’d say, but as the night jumps deeper into its darkness, you realize how excruciatingly long his 15-minute medley went by.

You look across the room.

Donghyuck looks enthralling like this: beautiful even after all these years, charming like he’s the day he turned 21, grown, earnest, and at ease. It’s agonizing to look at from where you sit across the room—hands wrapped around her waist, eyes closing as he leans in, drunk, drunk, drunk like the night you’d left him, heart void of you.

You begin to count.

At 27, you’re pretty much done with all kinds of romance the world could offer.

Unlike the person sitting next to you, you prefer to listen to Blushing Youth than watch some high-rated romantic comedy film during your 12-hour flight from Heathrow to Incheon, and while you’ve been moving around for most of your life (having earned your nickname as frequent flyer, credits to Jisung), flying is not one of the things you’re fond of. In fact, it’s not in the long list of strengths you brag about in your LinkedIn bio. You reckon it would truly be embarrassing, to say the least, to ask a stranger to distract you from the sound of the aircraft’s engine running at full power as it takes off from the runway, hence you opt to blast Ahn Jiyoung’s voice right in your eardrums.

It’s odd, people would say, for someone who’s supposedly mastered the art of moving from one country to another to be so terrified of flights, but if people want you to be completely honest, nothing sounds more horrifying than the thought of seeing Lee Donghyuck after years of radio silence.

As pathetic as it sounds, your heart still skips a beat—three, sometimes—at the thought of him.

Donghyuck, who used to be your sun, who had you orbiting around his gravitational pull for years, who used to be so close but not enough to have, who—if you think about it now—might have never been the center of your solar system after all, but maybe just a shooting star passing by.

The plane takes off, roughly and loud like you’d expected, and you catch a glimpse of a scene from Love, Rosie from the person sitting beside you and immediately regret going coach instead of flying business like how you would if your flights last more than ten hours. You hate this film; you hate it because Alex is to Rosie, like how Donghyuck is to you.

Alex and Rosie, like you and Donghyuck, are—were—long-time best friends who used to be inseparable until one day they’re not. Rosie misses her chance. Alex stops yearning, hoping, waiting, and finally decides to get on with his life. It’s a story of a bunch of tangled webs—a messy tumbleweed of missed calls and delayed flights, of long nights and short days, of forgotten promises and faded hope.

The film introduces new people, bids goodbye to old chapters, but in the end it’s Alex and Rosie.

And you wish that’s how your story went. You don’t end up kissing him in your very own hotel with an awe-striking view of the horizon right outside the window.

You bury the thought before you start missing him again. You run out of tracks from Blushing Youth’s discography like how you run dry from thinking about what happens next when your plane lands.

Might as well sleep it off.

A sharp, jabbing pain on your left leg wakes you up from your unscheduled sleep. Hissing, you find Donghyuck sitting on top of your legs.

“I swear to God,” you breathe, kicking your best friend’s weight off your limbs. “I will freaking kill you.”

“Dude, what’s wrong with saying fuck? You’re literally twenty,” Donghyuck replies, moving further so his entire body crushes yours, and you have to pretend that his warmth doesn’t make you feel some type of way, hence you push him as hard as you can until he falls onto the carpeted floor of your room.

He falls with a thump. “Screw you,” he mumbles, mouth forming a pout that you’d gladly smack out of his face—except you’d do it with your very own lips. “It’s almost one in the afternoon. Why are you napping?”

“Good question, Donghyuck,” you start, sitting up and rubbing your eyes while looking for the pair of specs that Donghyuck is already shoving towards your direction; you gladly take it. “Unlike you, I had to work in the café until one in the morning. I hate being rostered in the closing shift, but it pays damn well. Plus, I forgot to do my laundry so I had to throw my clothes in before I slept.

“Overworking again, I see,” he muses, sighing as he scoots to sit cross-legged across you on the bed too tiny for two people.

“The last week of the semester always sucks balls,” you answer, tilting your head in attempts to stretch your stiffened neck and get some kind of relief. “Why are you here anyway? Shouldn’t you be out there doing something stupid with Na Jaemin?”

“There’s a music festival on Friday,” he starts right away. “Jaemin’s wondering if I’d be interested to go, says he could get us some free passes from the guy he’s hooking up with. Apparently, the guy is DJ-ing.”

You blink. “Which one? Lee Jeno? Or Yoon Sanha?” you ask, genuinely curious because Jaemin is Jaemin and he could never be caught exclusively hooking up with one person.

Donghyuck shrugs. “Does it matter? Is it a yes or a no? That’s the question.”

He begins to fiddle with his fingers, playing with the rings on his long, delicate digits, and you recognize it almost instantly. Donghyuck is nervous. You might have an idea why.

“Is this you finally asking me out, Lee Donghyuck?” you half-joke, scratching your head. Donghyuck looks anywhere but your face. A glimpse of his eyes is all you need, because if the eyes are the windows to one’s soul, then Donghyuck’s are wide open, with no curtains and bare from all layers—at least that’s how they are to you. His eyes are wavering, and though he’s mastered the ability to keep his face tough as steel, those orbs could only do so little when it comes to hiding from you.

So, you smile, reaching out and leaning closer, kneeling until you’re face to face with him. “Only kidding, Hyuck,” you say finally, taking it easy because this conversation is not for one who’s hazy from sleep and one who can’t even look at the other in the eyes. “Of course, I’ll come with you. Who else can you bring anyway?”

Donghyuck looks up, rolling his eyes; he’s back. “You’re not really irreplaceable,” he replies smugly. “Don’t think too highly of yourself.”

You poke your tongue out and reach over your night stand to check your phone; at the same time, Donghyuck starts biting his fingernails. You don’t think twice—like blinking, a habit, natural—and reach out to pull his hand away, mumbling about how he should start working on getting rid of this bad habit of his. Donghyuck’s hand is warmer compared to yours, and he lets out a whine, complaining about your freezing hands, but squeezes you hand back anyway.

You are content with this. You hope Donghyuck is, too.

The lingering touches. The stolen kisses. The piercing glances.

While they all seem fleeting and simple, they mean the most to you. You begin to think if Donghyuck feels the same as he pulls you closer until you’re both back lying on his bed, your cheek resting on top of Donghyuck’s warm, cloth-covered chest. You wonder if he means it, when he says you’re not irreplaceable and that maybe you’re a little too comfortable, a little too satisfied with whatever it is that you have.

On a drunken night, Donghyuck may have asked you once. You remember it and think about it so much that sometimes it felt like a dream.

“How long, Y/N,” he had asked, his voice an octave deeper than usual, gaze a shade darker. “How long until you let yourself just lose it? For once, just—just please, let your feelings consume you.”

You didn’t want to—not then, not now—because it’s going to hurt.

It’s going to hurt because it’s Donghyuck.

It’s Donghyuck who feels like home, whose hands are warm enough for your cold ones, your own little sun. Losing him is the extinction of your solar system.

“Y/N,” he had whined when you didn’t reply, shaking you, pleading. “When are you going to want for more? I want you to ask me for more.”

But Donghyuck had passed out before you had the chance to think of an answer—time frame—and you wonder what your answer would have been if Donghyuck stayed awake for a couple more minutes.

“I guess napping at this time of the day doesn’t sound too bad,” Donghyuck murmurs against your hair, kissing it before relaxing. “Set an alarm for me. 3 pm.”

You hope Donghyuck asks you again, not this time, but you hope the question lingers in his mind a little longer.

He falls asleep to the sound of your breathing.

When the person sitting next to you finally wakes up, you could only sigh in relief.

The aircraft has landed a few minutes ago, and your flight seatmate slept so soundly that it took you a couple of minutes to shake her awake.

The 12-hour flight is a pain in the ass, and you wish you mean that figuratively. Waiting was something that you were once good at, and Renjun often told you he wished he had half the patience you had. If you think about it now and reflect whether you’re as patient and as willing to wait as before, you’d changed vastly. Ridiculous, how one could change so much in a lifetime.

Huang Renjun is standing behind a barricade when you finally reach the arrival area after going through immigration. He’s holding a piece of paper that says WELCOME HOME, Y/N! Renjun doesn’t give you the time to cross the boundary because he attacks you in bone-crushing hug the second he’s allowed to. You almost topple over him, your glasses at risk of either falling out of your face and into the cold, hard ground, or being crushed between your nose and Renjun’s shoulder.

Renjun chants your nickname over and over again, swaying both your bodies left and right as though you weighed nothing. “I’m literally about to combust. My chest has been pounding since I arrived here. You have no idea how much I missed you, and you were taking forever to go through immigration.”

“Oh, Huang Renjun,” you sigh, inhaling his scent and returning the hug. “Some things never change. You’re still the sweetest when you miss people. Absence really makes the heart grow fond.”

Renjun pulls away to get a good look on you. “Y/N, you’re all grown up. I can’t believe you resisted not seeing me in person for four years.”

“You’re just as grown up as I am,” you reply. “We Facetime each other every other day. What are you talking about?”

“It’s never the same,” he mumbles and helps you with your luggage despite it only being one small luggage, a small duffel bag, and your small backpack. He starts nagging as soon as he notices how small your baggage is.

“You were away for literally four years and you think packing three old shirts and a pair of jeans will be enough to get you through your entire trip here?” Renjun gasps. “You’re stupid if you think Chenle and Jisung are allowing you to leave after what we’re all here for. They have an entire month planned out the second you agreed to come home.”

“I didn’t bring only three shirts, for your information. And I did bring a few pairs of trousers and a coat, plus my dress for the wedding,” you defend. “And I can’t extend my trip here. I thought we’ve all got that one settled.”

Renjun laughs, as if what you said is some kind of joke, as he leads you towards the exit of the airport. “You know we would 100%, without hesitation, burn your passport if it means we could make you stay longer, don’t you? I hope you don’t underestimate us like that.”

You chuckle at his empty threat, your chest swelling at the thought of your long-time friends being thrilled of your arrival in Seoul. You wonder how much has changed in the last four years, and you reckon nothing much has when it comes to your friends. You’d left when most of you were twenty-three, and the only person you’d ever seen in person since then was Chenle, who at that time, had business in London so he stayed where you lived instead of a luxurious hotel he could afford.

“We’re heading to Chenle’s place,” Renjun announces as soon as you sit comfortably in the passenger seat of his car. “But he’s still in his studio recording something, so he won’t be around until maybe five.”

“Why are we going to Chenle’s place if he’s not there yet?” you ask. “He didn’t tell me he had work.”

“We’ve all worked around our schedules to meet you today,” Renjun explains as he turns the ignition on and starts backing up. “And everyone knows his home’s passcode. Remember back in college when his stupid fancy condo eventually became everyone’s? That’s still how it is now. Only this time, he owns a penthouse in Gangnam’s most expensive building. What a spoiled brat.”

“He earned it,” you comment.

Renjun hums. An old track from the local radio station plays just as the vehicle exits the airport’s parking area. You hadn’t heard this song in years, but your mouth sings the lyrics as though it’s only been yesterday.

Renjun is amused. “Some things never really change.”

Donghyuck suddenly changes his hair color on Sophomore year in college. You, on the other hand, are about to have an aneurysm.

Na Jaemin makes fun of you, laughs as if your reaction is the most hilarious thing he’s ever seen his entire life. He deems it as the best day of his life.

“Jaemin, am I a fucking joke to you?” you ask. Jaemin doesn’t even bother to answer. “You think this is funny?”

You almost choke on nothing when Donghyuck decides to walk towards the table you’re sharing with Jaemin inside the university’s very own cafeteria. He’s holding a tray of food for lunch. The man himself has a shy smile on his face, evidently aware of the attention that the people around are giving him because of his newly-dyed pink hair, and you can’t really blame anyone if they stared a little longer.

Because Donghyuck is already beautiful, with his shining eyes and glowing skin and a smile that could make the earth stop orbiting around the sun.

But this Donghyuck, Pink Sun as Jaemin had started calling him, he’s something else. You might pass out if you look at him a little longer.

“I told you pink looks amazing on you!” Jaemin exclaims as soon as Donghyuck is close enough.

Donghyuck instantly blushes, but covers it up with a smug smirk across his mouth.

“Careful,” Donghyuck warns. “I don’t want you getting hurt if I reject you.”

Jaemin gasps, “You would never!”

Donghyuck playfully sticks out his tongue on Jaemin and finally, finally, turns towards you. Your breath is caught in a hitch. Donghyuck tilts his head slightly and you’re about to punch himself in the face.

“What do you think?” the man asks, smiling cheekily. “Do you think I look better blond or pink-haired?”

You swallow. It takes you great power not to pull Donghyuck and kiss him squarely on the mouth.

Blond Donghyuck was a menace in the society. Pink Sun is giving you a heart attack.

But you’re not about to make things too obvious, so you shrug and mutter a small “either is fine.” Jaemin kicks you under the table. Donghyuck sighs, taking out his phone to open its front camera, probably to check himself out as he brushes his fingertips in his hair.

“You’re cheap, Y/N,” he says, putting his phone down. “I basically burn my scalp to get this hair color and pull it off better than Lee Taeyong ever will, and all I get from you is, ‘either is fine.’”

Jaemin laughs hysterically, taking his phone out as Donghyuck takes the empty seat beside you—like always, because seats beside you are always reserved for him. Donghyuck carefully places the tray of food he got, immediately, your eyes catch the extra drink he has and your heart somersaults because you know it’s for you.

And this is supposed to be normal. Your friends tell you it’s a routine—every day—and you and him do things for each other like second nature. So, why does it make your heart race like this?

Your phone chimes as Donghyuck starts eating.

“We really need to work on your communication skills,” the text message from Jaemin says.

Your comprehension in Korean went from bad to worse, if it’s even possible.

Renjun is currently roasting you for it, while Jisung and Kim Minjeong are arguing about what to eat. You tell them how small the Asian community in London is as compared to other countries. Jaemin announces that Mark Lee just boarded his flight from Vancouver, too, and you cheer, excited to see him as well after all these years. Yoo Jimin calls out Jisung and Minjeong’s bullshit and says she’d already ordered from the nearest restaurant.

How you all end up in Chenle’s penthouse before the owner himself is aware, you have no idea. All you know is that things have not really changed that much.

You feel a little disoriented, your mind still a little hazy from the 12-hour trip, and you hate that the jetlag is hitting you as early as now. You feel like you could fall asleep anytime soon.

Then you hear familiar voices faintly coming from the door, then the door itself being unlocked. You observe from the digital clock above Chenle’s fancy television that it’s only nearly two in the afternoon, so it’s not Chenle who’s coming in.

Donghyuck appears from the door before you realize it, and he takes your breath away before you could even look him in the eyes.

“Sorry, we’re late,” the dark-haired man says, his voice making you feel suffocated, stepping out of his boots because God forbid anyone who steps inside Zhong Chenle’s penthouse wearing the outdoor shoes.

Lee Jeno enters behind him, his eye smile ready to meet you, while Jaemin says they arrived just in time for lunch. All is a blur and everything sounds like white noise, because Donghyuck looks at you in the eyes with the softest gaze, the smallest smile, and suddenly it doesn’t feel so cold in Seoul.

Jeno walks past him and finds his space beside Jaemin. You hear Renjun and Jisung start arguing about another thing. All while Donghyuck stays still from where he stands, about ten feet away from your space, eyes still on you.

When they’re done dancing, Donghyuck walks with her, holding her hand and keeping her close.

He passes by, doesn’t even take a glance to your direction.

Donghyuck looks at you in amusement.

“It was terrible,” you grunt. “The worst day of my life.”

He giggles and pulls you in his arms, kissing the top of your head while you stand in the middle of the room. You’re still dressed in your warm clothes as you’d just arrived from the airport. You sigh in relief because you’ve been waiting for this all weekend.

“Don’t be too dramatic,” he mumbles. “Your cousin’s going to be ballistic if he learns that you called his wedding the worst day of your life.”

“You should’ve gone there with me,” you muse. “They were introducing me to so many people, and my uncle knows I’m shit at socializing, therefore forcing me to hang out with people I barely know is like stabbing me in the eye and asking me how many fingers you’re holding up.”

Donghyuck chuckles. “What could I have done if I were there?”

You smile, burying your face in his warm chest. “Absolutely nothing.”

“Then why’d you need me there?” Donghyuck asks again. You know he’s teasing you now, poking until he gets the answer he wants to hear. And you’re not about to deny Donghyuck of that. Besides, nothing is more satisfying than knowing you could make Donghyuck feel flustered despite of his strong, wild persona. So, you reach up and kiss him on the chin and hug him closer.

“Because nothing is as bad as it seems when you’re around, my love.”

Donghyuck begins to pull away, making you hold onto him tighter, as if your hands would grow cold without touching him. Donghyuck only laughs, allowing you to hug him longer, and you wonder if you could stretch this night out for as long as he can.

The moment passes by quickly.

“Donghyuck, will you at least listen to me?”

“I’m done, Y/N.”

Renjun announces he’s done cleaning up.

Jaemin doesn’t waste a single second, getting up from his space on the other couch and announces it’s time they really catch up with everyone. It turns out that Jimin herself just got back from Germany yesterday as well, while Minjeong took a week off from work, and all had waited for you to come home before gathering in Chenle’s place.

“Mark’s a piece of shit, just like you,” Jeno comments when asked why the older didn’t take the earliest flight. Apparently, like yourself, Mark couldn’t get a couple of weeks off from work, hence he’d decided to travel a few days before the wedding, which is essentially why you all had a reason to gather once again after all these years.

“Why are you all harassing me and Mark for not being able to take a longer leave from work?” you whine, throwing a cushion towards where Jeno is seated, right beside Jimin. “It’s not like we can help it!”

Minjeong snorts, “You could’ve said you have COVID or something.”

You snicker. “Only you could think of that, Minjeong-ah.”

Jeno talks about his recent flight to Yonagunijima in Okinawa for a business trip. Renjun tells him he’s never gone that far in Japan, his farthest trip being in Osaka; Jeno says he can take him there anytime he gets some free time from work. Jaemin hypes up Jisung’s newly built dance studio and the contract he’d just signed with the biggest entertainment company in Asia, to which Jisung only downplays and says it’s not that big of deal.

You and Donghyuck stay quiet while everyone else talks over one another. He sits at the other end of the same couch you’re sitting on while Jisung occupies the space between you and him. Renjun probably feels the tension, so he cuts it.

“Donghyuck, what have you been up to?” Renjun asks, reaching over for a piece of chocolate you’d stolen from Chenle’s fridge.

Donghyuck shrugs. “Renjun-ah, don’t act like we don’t see each other every weekend.”

Renjun scoffs. “We’re here to catch up. Do you want me to tell them what you’ve been up to myself?”

Donghyuck throws a cushion and misses. “Nothing’s new about me, guys. Nothing that’s interesting enough.” Then, he leans forward and turns to you. “Maybe Y/N has anything to say. I mean, she’s the one who’s been away the longest.”

It takes you aback, the interaction unexpected, and gets you stuttering. “I’m—There’s really nothing, I mean.”

Donghyuck laughs lightly. “Loosen up. You look like you’d rather be elsewhere but here.”

“It’s not like that,” you defend. “It’s just—jetlag.”

“Of course,” Donghyuck nods. “How long was the flight?”

“Twelve hours,” you answer. Renjun does his best, distracting everyone else with a new conversation so you and Donghyuck, you assume, would feel more comfortable rather than have everyone listen to you talking with the person you used to know the best. Jisung tries to subtly leave, pretending like he needs to go to the restroom, and you know it’s a tactic because you also know Jisung like the back of your hand.

Donghyuck immediately moves closer, taking the space Jisung used to sit on, the distance pulling the air out of your lungs.

“And my flight was delayed for a couple of hours because of a storm,” you continue, clearing your voice. “So, fourteen hours in total, plus one hour from Incheon to Gangnam.”

Donghyuck nods. “Well, you fly frequently.”

You nod back. “Not that frequently anymore. Since the pandemic, I’ve been working from home a lot; there was no need to travel after all. Or move to a different country. It turns out we can do everything virtually.”

Donghyuck chuckles, almost sarcastically. “What a shame that the entire world realized suddenly that everything could work virtually.”

You smile, sadly almost. “Yeah. What a shame.”

“I didn’t get the whole thing,” Jisung sighs. “What a shame. The last parts were the best.”

“You know Chenle’s going to kill you if he finds out you took a video, right?”

Jisung nods proudly. “That was the point.”

“Lia, wait,” Donghyuck’s voice echoes—not loud enough to catch anyone else’s attention, but definitely enough for you. You watch him follow Lia out.

You decide you’ve had enough. The wedding’s done now, anyway. There’s nothing left for you here.

Jisung looks at you. “Y/N.”

“Just need some space, Jisung,” you say. “I’m okay.”

“You’re lying,” You gasp, almost dropping your iPad upon Donghyuck’s revelation. “Holy shit, Donghyuck, that’s huge!”

“Never thought I’d hear that in another context but thanks, my love,” Donghyuck replies, a proud smile etched on his mouth. He reaches over and shows you a piece of paper, the confirmation of his participation in a convention in Shanghai a couple of weeks from now.

“Wait until Jaemin hears this,” You ramble, already on his phone to text said friend about the good news. “He’s going to throw a party for you.”

“You guys are too proud of me,” Donghyuck whines. “What if I end up being such a flop outside my comfort zone? There are going to be so many amazing artists out there. I heard some vocal majors from Konkuk are attending the conference with me, and I am already terrified of them. I can't imagine myself once I'm surrounded by even more talented and more intimidating singers."

You put down your tablet on your desk, sighing as you step closer towards Donghyuck. You’re in the apartment you share with Jimin, and Donghyuck called in earlier to tell you he’s got some great news. Neither of you really have much time to meet these days, with your internship at Seoul's biggest web developer company and the drastic changes in Donghyuck's schedule, it's a little too difficult to hang out in the safety of your apartment.

Donghyuck is evidently taken aback when you suddenly wrap an arm around his neck, tumbling when you pull him closer and kisses the air out of his lungs. You regret closing your eyes when your lips touch, thinking about the way Donghyuck looks like whenever you kiss him like this. Like Donghyuck's all you’ve ever needed. Like all the years of pining and hurting are expressed in a single kiss. Like it's everything you’ve always wanted and more.

It's not the first time you kiss—you’ve lost count you made out in the back of Jeno’s car two months ago while all your friends are drunk and out of their minds—but it always feels like it is.

Donghyuck's lips are soft, soft, soft, and you can never get enough of the kissing him. The first, featherlight, a little hesitant touch of your lips would be your second favorite part (the favorite is when Donghyuck's licking your mouth and nibbles on your lower lip), and his hands, his delicate hands would always be in your hair, pulling and pressing and touching.

It's perfect. Donghyuck pulls you down with him on your very own bed, letting you sit on his lap.

He's kissing you everywhere, your lips, your cheeks, your nose, your neck, your jaw, but he stops when you begin to unbutton his shirt. You look down on him, confused and eager and dazed, and usually, Donghyuck would give in without a single fight, but this time he stops you.

"What are we doing, Y/N?" Donghyuck lets out, like he's been holding this breath forever and now he's finally exhaling it.

"We're," you start, confused why he’s asking all of a sudden, but you don’t really have an answer to that. "We're—”

"Messing around. Having fun while we can," Donghyuck finishes, quoting your own words the first time you hooked up. "I know. But that was before, right? What about now? What are we doing now?"

Your hands drop on Donghyuck's side. Donghyuck quickly takes both of them in his, giving you a comforting squeeze, as if he's encouraging you to say something. To be brave. To let go.

"We can't go on like this if you don't answer me, Y/N," Donghyuck says softly. "I know what I want, and you know that it's you. Just you. From the beginning. As long as I live. And you are making me happy right now. But I need to know if this is what you want, too."

"Love, I wouldn't be doing this if I didn't want you," you explain, eyes wavering.

"Y/N, listen to me," Donghyuck urges, letting go of one of your hands to hold your face so you could look into each other's eyes. "Tell me now. Tell me now, honestly, if this is something you would want in the long run."

"Donghyuck," You sigh, like you’re begging for Donghyuck to stop asking. But Donghyuck doesn't let his guard down. He keeps his hands on you, waiting.

You want nobody else but Donghyuck, too. From the beginning. For as long as you live. And Donghyuck is making you happy, and you know well that Donghyuck will make you happy in the long run. The last two months of whatever game you’re playing had been fun. There was no agreement on being exclusive, no rules of some sort, and it all fell into place like you and him are supposed to end up like this. You hadn’t put a label on it, but you and Donghyuck are best friends for many years now. You went through growing pains together, survived each one of the flights you frequently took around the world, went to the same college together, and you don’t really see the point of rushing for a label now.

Because you have other things in mind other than what you feel right now. You have codes to master and board directors to impress. Donghyuck has auditions to pass and flights to catch as well, and now, an opportunity in Shanghai. Not to mention you’re both cramming to have the best credentials to get you the best job after graduation. Now is not really the best time.

So, just like many happenstances in your life, you come up with a stupid, stupid answer.

"I—I don't know, Donghyuck," you say nervously. "I mean, you're clearly making me happy. And I don't plan on seeing anyone else, but I haven't really gotten around to think about it."

Donghyuck takes his touch away all of a sudden. You reach out to hold his hands in place back to your face, but he lets go.

"Think about it?" Donghyuck asks, voice shaking. "What is there to think about? It's a simple question, Y/N. Do you want me for a long time or am I just some good fuck for you?"

"Donghyuck, why are you saying that?" you retort, angry now. "I just said you make me happy. And I'm not playing with you. I just—it's—with all the things going on in my life and yours, a relationship is not something I can maintain right now."

"Maintain?" Donghyuck chuckles, pulling his hands away, gently pushing you off his lap and standing away from your bed to put some space between you and him. "Y/N, we've been best friends since we were in high school. Literally nothing has changed for us except we kiss and fuck now. What is there to think about? I really do not understand."

You sigh. The sound of it makes Donghyuck pull away further until he’s picking up his backpack.

"Donghyuck, wait," You say, but Donghyuck is already out of his room, barefoot, his shoes in his hands.

Barefoot, his shoes in one hand, two bottles of beer on the other, Donghyuck finds you by the pool outside the wedding reception. He sits beside you and mimics the way you rolled the bottom of your dress up to your thighs so it doesn’t get wet and does the same with his expensive trousers.

“What are you doing out here?” you muse, eyes staring blankly at the way your feet look blurred out underwater. “Shouldn’t you be inside getting drunk and having the time of your life?”

Donghyuck chuckles, his cheeks painted like cherries, mouth glazed like strawberries, and hands you the cold bottle of beer. “I’m already drunk. Do you think I’d have the courage to come find you here if I was sober?”

You nod, taking the bottle from his hand. “Good point. Fun party?”

“Jaemin and Jeno never fail to organize the best party,” he stammers. “They used to invite everyone in their shared apartment to play the American games they learned from Johnny-hyung. I can’t believe they’re married now.”

Jaemin and Jeno, the very reason why all of you gathered after all these years, have always been destined for each other, and you know this because you’d seen them start off as nothing and watched them turn to everything. Their wedding had been the sole reason why you’d returned to Seoul.

“I always knew they’d end up together,” you mutter, drinking from the cold bottle. “I used to manifest it. I said it all the time I saw them together.”

Donghyuck giggles. “You used to believe in the law of attraction so much. You manifested everything that’s happened in your life.”

“I did, didn’t I?” you reply, tasting the bitterness coming from the drink, a reminder why you prefer any other drink aside from beer.

It’s quite for a minute until Donghyuck talks.

“Why didn’t you manifest us?” he says suddenly, words a little grumbled. He’s probably had too much to drink already. You hold onto him naturally as his head starts swaying until his head is leaning against your shoulder, close enough to hear each other breathing. “Y/N, why did you never say we’d end up together like this, too? You were so damn good with this law of attraction bullshit. You could’ve manifested our wedding, too.”

Donghyuck is drunk, and drunk Donghyuck is always vulnerable. His tone of voice is enough for you to decide to cut this trip shorter than it already is. A week, you had promised Jeno and Jaemin, you’d leave two days after the wedding. But at this moment, when you’re frozen in place, Donghyuck’s warmth touching your coldness, you begin to ponder if it had been a good idea to come back in Seoul at all.

You love Jeno and Jaemin and would do anything for them in a heartbeat. Therefore, when the couple announced their engagement two months ago, it had been a quick, solid yes, of course, I’ll be there because you wouldn’t miss their wedding for the world, even if it had been exactly four years and two months since the last time you’d breathed the air of Seoul and that you’d rather die than be in a 12-hour flight, you swore you’d be with your friends during such a huge chapter of their lives.

Your schedules were immediately reconstructed, a ticket to Seoul safely tucked in the files in your desk’s drawer, and all your friends from London were already asking you to bring something back from Seoul when your trip is over. It was all set, with the promise of checking in with your teammates from work during your one-week leave, and it was the easiest itinerary you’d ever made. What you failed to prepare, truly, is yourself.

Somehow, you knew this would happen. You knew coming back would mean seeing Donghyuck. And seeing Donghyuck means opening wounds you’re not certain have healed and resuming conversations you’d never wanted to go back to. And this means, at any given time Donghyuck is within your space, you’d be a goner.

Because four years, it turns out, isn’t enough to get over him.

Quite funny, if you think about it now, how after all these years, you’re still orbiting around him.

You clear your throat, no words coming out, and Donghyuck starts to fall asleep against your shoulder.

Your right shoulder feels sore after falling asleep on your side on Chenle’s couch the morning after Jaemin and Jeno’s bachelor party. It was crazy, to say the least, and you’d decided to drink your guts to in hopes of not remembering anything in the morning. It sucks because you’re stupidly hungover and you remember everything.

The group was divided into two. You, Renjun, Donghyuck, and Minjeong were in charge of Jaemin in the other side of the city, courtesy of Jung Jaehyun for sponsoring and personally planning the grand party for his favorite dongsaeng. Meanwhile, Jisung, Chenle, Mark, and Jimin had planned Jeno’s very own party, along with Lee Taeyong who funded the event.

If you’re being completely honest, you’d think that after college, your friends would lose their sparks in setting up amazing parties, but last night proved you wrong.

The alcohol was disgusting, but you like that it made Renjun do things he wouldn’t do sober. Jaemin refused to get shit-faced drunk because his wedding is in two days, his hangovers usually last an entire day—he doesn’t want to show up at his own wedding looking like a zombie. Minjeong, well, she’s Minjeong, so she was just all over the place, nagging and getting drunk. She’s also a snob who thinks so highly of herself despite being the youngest in the group and liked to look down on her older friends all while attempting to stand upright after downing five shots of tequila.

Donghyuck, however, decided to bring his new girlfriend. Her name is Lia. And the only goal last night was to stay as far away as possible.

You knew that the relationship was new because Jisung filled you in before you had all parted ways for the parties, said that Donghyuck started dating her two months ago right around the time Jaemin and Jeno got engaged, Jimin being their bridge because Lia and Jimin have been friends since last year. Apparently, Lia’s been interested with him for years now; she just never had the chance because like you, Donghyuck also disappeared in and out from Seoul for a couple of years until he’d decided to stay here for good two years ago.

You can’t remember how many shots you had and how many cocktails were handed to you last night, but you wish you had more because it was evidently not enough to erase the scenarios from last night. It wasn’t enough to blur out the memories of Donghyuck holding her, kissing her, dancing with her, and just all out being a lovey-dovey boyfriend.

It’s a relief that you got home safely. There was no designated driver because the plan was to really get drunk, so Jaehyun had one of his employees drive everyone to Chenle’s penthouse because it’s the closest. You hope the others returned to Jeno’s place safely, too.

You stay still from where you’re lying down, eyes up on the ceiling, wondering what time it is. There was no plan for today aside from wedding rehearsal at six in the evening to make sure everything’s all set for tomorrow, so you reckon you have the entire day to get rid of your hangover.

You roll over to your side, facing the television, and the clock tells you it’s eleven in the morning. Renjun is snoring away from the other couch, and you remember letting Minjeong sleep on your bed for the night. You’re staring at Renjun’s sleeping form when someone on the carpeted floor suddenly rolls over, allowing you to see their face.

Donghyuck’s sleeping on the floor beside the couch, body parallel to yours so you can see his peaceful sleeping face, mouth slightly agape. He’s now sleeping on his back, head supported by one of the cushions, body covered with his jacket from last night. You remember parting ways with him with him last night. He’d taken a taxi with Lia back to her place while the rest of you went home in Jaehyun’s SUV. You don’t remember him coming back here.

You stare at him for as long as you can, because in the last three days in Seoul, you’d never really gotten the chance to get a good look on him. You and him don’t follow each other from any social media, so the last four years had truly been radio silence from both sides. Donghyuck, at 27, doesn’t look like he’s aged that much, albeit his round cheeks being gone, replaced by prominent cheekbones. It looks like he never bothered to get rid of the constellations forming on his face and neck, too, because they’re still here, just like many things that haven’t changed. Donghyuck used to love dyeing his hair crazy colors, now his hair is just colored naturally. His lips, wonder if they still taste the same.

“He’s going to melt,” Renjun says suddenly, you plop your head back to the couch, guilty for staring too long. Renjun sits up, stretching and laughing at your misery. “And you’re going to have a heart attack if you keep sneaking glances and getting caught. How many times has Jisung caught you in the last 72 hours?”

“Shut up,” you mumble, getting up and stretching as well. “What do you want to eat for breakfast?”

You carefully get off from the couch, making sure you don’t topple on Donghyuck’s sleeping body, draping the blanket over his body, walking towards Chenle’s fancy kitchen. Renjun helps you, rummaging through the fridge, and comes up with a breakfast menu with whatever you had in the kitchen.

Donghyuck wakes up before you and Renjun could finish cooking everything. He’s quiet when he approaches you in the kitchen, softly asking if you could make coffee for him. You don’t say no, of course.

“This is the most disgusting cup of coffee, I’ve had my entire life,” Donghyuck complains, leaning over the counter where you’re working on the opposite side of. “Stop jeopardizing the café’s reputation. You’re not some scientist so stop mixing concoctions from hell just to brag that you’re a part-time barista and a full-time college student. You make me sick. Literally.”

You ignore all of it, of course, eyebrows furrowed as you take another sip of the quote and quote disgusting coffee, trying to figure out what went wrong this time.

“I think it needs a bit more vanilla,” you think out loud.

“I will not join you in this stupid crusade of making your own “Barista’s Special” recipe,” he continues. “And I will tell your manager you’re wasting coffee!”

“Aha!” you exclaim when you think you got it right. “Maybe I need to level the grounds better and add another pump of vanilla. Let me try that. It should taste better.”

Donghyuck chuckles as you move around and attempt to make another cup. “You’ve been saying it should taste better since last week.”

He keeps complaining, but takes the new cup of coffee as soon as you’re done.

Donghyuck drinks.

You wait.

It still tastes disgusting.

“It’s sweet,” Donghyuck comments when he drinks it. You tilt your head. Renjun is finishing up on the scrambled eggs. You hear Minjeong come out of your room.

“Is that a bad thing?” you ask, hopeful.

Donghyuck shakes his head, chuckling. “Better than the ones you made when we were in university.”

“Hey!” you laugh. “I was awarded employee of the month once!”

“That doesn’t erase the fact that you forced me to drink your disgusting concoctions for three weeks straight,” he states, making you laugh even more. “I guess, all these years you’d learned what you were missing.”

“I’ll miss you,” you mumble against Donghyuck’s chest. “The internship will just be for a few months. I’ll be back before you know it.”

Donghyuck kisses the top of your head. “When you come back,” he mutters. “When you come back, I’ll ask you to be my girlfriend.”

You freeze.

“And you’ll say yes. And we’ll graduate together and make a life for both of us.”

You pull away a little so that you’re looking at him face to face. Donghyuck has tears threatening to fall from his eyes. You wipe it off with the sleeves of his jacket you’re wearing.

“I’ll say yes,” you promise. “And we’ll graduate together and make a life for both of us.”

A woman’s voice announces your flight number once again and says the gates are closing in five minutes. Donghyuck kisses you in the mouth—a promise—and tells you he loves you.

“Oh, Donghyuck,” you say. “I love you, too.”

“Come back home to me, yeah?”

“I will.”

Yours and Donghyuck’s favorite restaurant was located two blocks away from his parents’ home. It closed a few years ago when its owner passed away and his children were too heartbroken to keep the business running. It was a staple from your entire high school life, and if you could say it, it defined your standards when it comes to food.

You’d just gotten a call from home that your childhood pet had to be put down because of old age and many diseases, and you called in sick for work—thank God, Johnny was willing to cover for you otherwise the manager would’ve rejected your request to stay at home for the day—and you’re truly not in the mood for anything at all.

You haven’t been home for quite sometime now, the last time being the holidays and you normally just spend a couple of days before heading back to the campus, so everything really sucks. You didn’t even get the chance to say goodbye.

Donghyuck hears this from Jimin, of course, because your roommate called him as soon as she heard you crying from your room. He literally carries you out of your room, says grieving is better when there’s food.

As soon as you see the person standing behind the counter, you recognize the place right away. Although located in a different street now, nearby where you are, the place looks exactly the same from when it did years ago.

“Y/N! Donghyuckie!” the lady behind the counter greets.

“Oh my,” you squeal. “Auntie, I didn’t know you’re back in business! How long has it been?”

The new owner, the late owner’s eldest daughter, smiles at you and tells you they re-opened sometime this year. She tells you to find a seat and confirms she knew your order by heart.

Donghyuck sits across you. “You like it?”

“Why did you not take me here sooner?”

He smiles. “Supposedly on your birthday a couple of weeks from now. But with what happened today, I guess this is the best time.”

“You’re the best.”

It’s Jisung and Chenle who find you and Donghyuck by the pool area hours later. Donghyuck had completely fallen asleep on your shoulder. The younger ones help you and practically carry Donghyuck towards the car.

Jaemin and Jeno have left the venue so they could prepare for their flight the next day. You hadn’t paid much attention to the time when Donghyuck drunkenly approached you. Jisung tells you it’s already two in the morning.

Chenle tells you Donghyuck had broken up with Lia—the reason, he’s uncertain—which is why she stormed off from the reception and Donghyuck decided to drink his ass off while you were wandering around the place. You shrug, acknowledging the news like it doesn’t make your heart race, like it doesn’t give you some sort of hope you didn’t know you had stored, and tell them they should take him home.

Jisung says Donghyuck lives on the other side of the city, so it’s best you all head back to Chenle’s.

Jisung and Chenle share the latter’s bed, and you’re not going to let Donghyuck sleep on the couch after he had complained about his back hurting when he’d fallen asleep on the floor the other day, so it’s only right that you let Jisung and Chenle carry him to your bed.

When you wake up on the couch the next day, Donghyuck’s shoes are no longer by the doorsteps.

His footsteps are loud.

“Donghyuck, this isn’t going to work if you don’t fucking give me a chance to explain!” You scream a few feet behind Donghyuck.

Donghyuck is running away, and you’re beginning to think that convincing him to go to the gym might not have been the greatest decision because Donghyuck is literally sprinting, like he’s being chased by something so terrifying.

You almost stop. Donghyuck, who always called him home, never ran away from you all these years. Not, it looks like he’d rather be anywhere but where you. Nothing feels worse than that.

You’d just gotten back from your internship in the US, one more term and you’re graduating. The internship was easily the best thing that’s happened to you this year. They were already thinking of offering you a contract as soon as you graduate. They let you go back home, of course, to complete your degree, and said they’d be willing to keep training you in the states and have you relocate to Europe once you graduate because they’ll be expanding their business out there.

It's also the night of Donghyuck's first showcase, the first show he's headlining along with musicians and artists from different universities. You had promised Donghyuck you’d watch and support him, but things doesn't always go on your favor, because as soon as you’d landed, you were needed back to the campus for an interview for the university’s publishing team because they wanted you to talk about your experience alongside the others who went to the states to complete their internship. It was supposed to be an hour session, but you and everyone in the panel liked the questions they were asking, and somehow you felt like this was a sign that the company in the US could lead to better, brighter things for you.

Hence, you were late. Halfway through the show. Donghyuck got mad, but promised he understood. He asked for some space, at least for the rest of the night. But you wanted to apologize properly, to take him out for dinner even if it's already past midnight, and insisted that you should talk about it. Donghyuck refused, you kept insisting, until the former said something about you being a shitty girlfriend.

It’s a shitty excuse, but you were absolutely fucking tired. You’re still jetlagged from the 16-hour difference, and the entire session with your fellow interns took two hours of your day.

What you had left for the day was so little, and you chose to spend it with Donghyuck, but he decided to be an ass about it.

"I never said anything about being your girlfriend," was your dumb reply, which is why you’re now running after him from the building of Chenle’s condominium.

You pull Donghyuck with force as soon as you catch up with him, and you’re faced with your worst fear.

Donghyuck is crying. He’s never cried before, not because of you. A deep painful breath comes out of your mouth, and it hurts when you breathe, like inhaling a cloud of smoke or being hit by a ball in the back. Donghyuck keeps crying, doesn’t even hide it. He sobs and heaves and he doesn’t wipe his tears.

"Donghyuck, can you just—”

“I’m tired,” Donghyuck sobs. “Y/N, I’m so tired. I sound pathetic and I’m not sure if I’m exhausted from the performance or I’m just done with you.”

“I’m sorry,” is all what you could come up with.

“This,” Donghyuck says, gesturing the small space between you. “I don’t think it’s worth all of the pain I am feeling right now, Y/N. You’re my best friend. I—I, fuck, I used to think that maybe someday this will all be worth it, but I am tired of waiting for that day. I am drained and you have consumed all of me. I waited for you, and I keep waiting until you finally just—let go and decide you want to be with me and stop playing this never-ending game of friends with benefits bullshit we started. I’m done. What else do you want from me?”

“I—I… Donghyuck,” you stutter. I want you to give me a chance. I want you to give me more time to figure some things out myself. I want you to wait a little longer.

"I rejected Ryujin a week before you came home,” Donghyuck confesses. "When you were in the states, and you suddenly changed your mind about being my girlfriend and told me I should go out and date other people and that I shouldn’t hold myself back, I was angry. I didn’t understand why you were pushing me away so much when I’m here!”

You stay still, crying.

“I’m here,” he repeats. “I’m here and I love you, and I’ve never asked anything in return. And you tell me you love me, but you do things that—that hurt me. Every time I think we’re finally going somewhere, you—you push back and I’m just—I’m sick of it. And Jaemin said I should just move on if you can’t make up your mind because I don’t know if you haven’t realized it but Y/N, we’ve been at it for years.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Jeno and Jaemin set me up with Ryujin,” he continues. “We went to a couple of dates. And then you called me saying you’re coming back home. So, I broke it off before we even got started. I told her it would be unfair if I kept leading her on when I know that I am still ridiculously in love with you. She said it would be alright and that she's giving me all the time and space I need to think about things."

Donghyuck curses and continues, "But I didn't need time and space, Y/N. Because I already knew that all I've ever wanted was you. I didn't need to think. I only needed you."

You don’t know what to say. You’re still holding him by his arm.

“If you're not going to say anything, let me go,” Donghyuck sternly says. You have a feeling it’s not the grip on his arm that Donghyuck is talking about. “Please.”

The single biggest mistake of your life happened on the third street from Chenle’s place, under the broken streetlight, across the ice cream parlor Donghyuck used to work at when he was seventeen.

You let him go. Donghyuck stops waiting.

The wait from the audience was long enough.

They say your graduation day is going to be one of the happiest moments in your life. It’s not. Not at all.

Not when you’d gotten your diploma on stage and Donghyuck shows you he doesn’t give a fuck by looking everywhere else. Not when it’s picture taking time with your friends and families and he decides to stand on the other side, far, far away from you. Not when his parents ask him to take a picture with you and he shrugs it off and says he’s hungry and that he’s meeting everyone at the restaurant, leaving with his entire family.

Renjun whispers, “Does he even know you’re leaving first thing in the morning?”

You shrug it off, too. “Looks like he has other things to care about.”

Jaemin sighs. “You’re not serious about this, are you? You and Donghyuck better pull your shit together. Both of you already ruined the moment for everyone.”

Renjun eyes him. “It’s not your fault, Y/N. If Donghyuck doesn’t want to listen, then so be it.”

“It’s not Donghyuck’s fault either,” Jaemin defends. “Because he’s been trying to get answers and you wouldn’t give it to him. So, I don’t think it’s his fault that he’s done.”

“We’re not picking sides here, Jaemin,” Jeno says. “Let’s go.”

Jeno and Jaemin sandwiches you in a tight hug.

The next day after the wedding, in the afternoon, the newlyweds are bound to France for their honeymoon. They’re traveling the continent for two weeks (unfortunately, London excluded from their itinerary), and all of you decided to drop them off as if they’re leaving for years. In your case, this may be the last time you’re seeing them for a long time.

“I love you,” Jaemin says as the two very strong and buff men hug you. “I know things have been tough and coming back here took a lot from you, but thank you for making sure you were present during the wedding.”

“I hope this isn’t the last time in another four years that we’d see you in person,” Jeno adds. “We miss you, you know? Please come visit us when you have time.”

“I love you two so much,” you cry, emotional with the way they’re holding you. “Go have fun.”

They bid their goodbyes to everyone else and enter the airport.

“If I don’t get the same treatment when I leave, I’m ghosting everyone,” Mark announces. Jisung laughs. “What? You all acted like they’re going away for two years. They’re coming back in literally and exactly two weeks!”

“Go be unhappy somewhere, hyung,” Donghyuck teases, making everyone laugh as you all walk back to where their cars are parked.

Chenle needs to go back to work, so did Jimin and Jisung, hence they ride all together. Minjeong’s visiting a friend, so she’s riding with Mark and Renjun because they’re all going to the same side of the city. Which means, Donghyuck is driving you back to Chenle’s place.

“Your flight is tomorrow, too, right?” Mark asks. You hum, nodding. “Come visit me in Vancouver sometime soon, too. Or I’ll fly to London.”

“Wow, you have a lot of money to spend on flying around the world multiple times, huh?” you tease.

“Hey, you’re the frequent flyer here,” he comments. “Wonder how many miles you’ve earned and redeemed from all this flying you’ve done in this lifetime.”

You laugh. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Mark.”

Renjun and the others bid you goodbye. You’re not really certain why you and Donghyuck silently agreed to watch your friends leave, you and him standing a foot away from each other as they all drive away. For some reason, it feels like the last time.

The first time it happened, you and Donghyuck decide it’s an accident.

You were drunk, and it had been a while for the two of you considering how busy you both have been because of finals coming up. It was convenient, if you say so yourself, to have your best friend right beside you when you were feeling hot and horny. The morning after was settled with a kiss on your forehead—no apologies as discussed, because neither you nor him regretted it anyway, but there’s a promise that nothing changes.

The second time it happened, you and Donghyuck decide it’s not going to be a one-time thing.

“So, to make it clear,” you huff as you quickly get rid of your pants while Donghyuck pulls his shirt off. “This isn’t a one-time thing.”

“I don’t see an issue if it’s not,” he replies, unbuckling his belt and pulling his pants down, pushing you against the wall and kissing you down your neck. “Besides, we’re best friends.”

You lean your head against the wall, thinking if it’s too late to back out, but Donghyuck’s already has his hands all over you—one on your breast and the other on your waist. It’s not really that bad of an idea. Donghyuck is your best friend, and your friendship has withstood time, distance, growing pains, and mostly everything. And perhaps it’s the way you haven’t stopped thinking about your first time together that’s making you feel so, so vulnerable under his touch, but it’s not like anything’s changed since that night. In fact, if you’re being completely honest, it made you feel like you and Donghyuck know each other better now—in ways that other pairs like you don’t.

Hence, whatever thought you had a minute ago, you throw it down the drain and you let Donghyuck (messily, heartedly giggling) carry you by hoisting you up and wrapping your legs around his waist and bring you back to his unmade bed.

Donghyuck knows how to use his tongue, and you’ve kind of always known because all the girls he’s ever slept with talk about him like he’s a god of tongue or something. Donghyuck licks your lips before diving in, as if he’s giving you a taste of what you’re about to have, and he pushes his tongue in, massaging it with yours, and it almost feels like he’s teaching you how to use the muscle in your mouth. You realize how much he likes kissing, because he kisses more than he touches. He kisses you for what felt like hours, and you’re not about to complain about it.

You let him gently drop you on his bed. His warm palms caressing its way from your waist down to the side of your thighs where he knows you like being touched the most (and you’re not certain whether he’d learned this from stories or from the time you and him had sex); Donghyuck keeps his mouth on you as he rubs circles against your hot skin.

The finger he slips between your underwear and right above your clit sends you shivers down your spine. He allows you to catch your breath for a second, moving his mouth from your lips down to your neck, but doesn’t give you enough time to recover because he rubs your clit oh, so gently.

“We’re best friends,” he repeats, murmuring the words against the skin on your neck. “Nothing changes, except now I know where to touch you.”

He does. He touches you everywhere and slips his middle finger in your hole, sighing against your skin when he feels how wet you’ve gotten simply from kissing.

“You’ve always been such a good girl for me,” he whispers, keeping his finger inside, his palm pressed against your clit. “Such a good girl. Wet and ready for me. You really are my best friend.”

“Donghyuck,” you whine. He starts rubbing from inside, moving a single finger in an upward motion, eliciting a moan from you.

“What?” he asks innocently. “You are. You are my best friend. I don’t think everyone can say they let their best friends fuck them when they’re horny. Which makes me the best best friend, too. Because I fuck the brains out of you when you’re horny. Aren’t we the best team the world has ever seen?”

Donghyuck slips another finger in—easily, because nothing can describe how we you are now. He tongues the skin on your collarbone, licking and tasting and smirking all throughout, then he fingers you properly. At this point, your underwear’s stretched from one thigh to the other.

Donghyuck likes to tease you, and you know this because he massages the inside of your hole in a swift upward motion before pulling his fingers out and slowly filling you again. He does this slowly, then fast, then slowly once again. The explicit sound of your wetness makes him chuckle, leaving your collarbones and using his other hand to pull the left cup of your bra down and goes in. He bites and nips and licks and sucks your breast while he fingers you stupid—legs apart, shamelessly wet and fucking ready for him—and you take everything he gives you.

He doesn’t make you cum though, because Donghyuck is Donghyuck. Nobody is more cunning than him.

But he doesn’t make you wait. As soon as he feels you’re about to cum, he slips his fingers out and rids himself off his own underwear, then slipping the last two pieces barely hanging on your body.

He fucks you dumb. Raw. All his glory and skin. You have no other words aside from that.

He doesn’t wait because there’s truly no need to adjust with how wet and ready you fucking are. He’s big, but Donghyuck knows how to fuck well. He knows how to prevent discomfort and he’s done a very good job at proving that to you.

He fucks you missionary, and usually, this isn’t something you’d opt for. You like being fucked hard with no sense of affection and all that bullshit when you’re stressed and in need of some kind of relief. But with Donghyuck, it’s heavenly despite how sinful his hips snap.

He fucks you. Again and again. He makes you cum twice before he pulls out and spills himself on your stomach.

He kisses you, giggles at the way you’re dumbfounded, cleans you up, and lets you sleep on his bed as though nothing has changed.

Because nothing did. Nothing ever will.

“Funny how things have changed so much in the last four years, huh?” Donghyuck asks, eyes on the road.

Donghyuck’s said he’s driving you home. You haven’t been in Seoul in four years, but the route he’s taking is definitely not the way to Chenle’s.

“We’re taking the long way home,” he interjects when he realizes you’re looking at the GPS on his car’s tablet. “There’s, uh, heavy traffic on the usual way because of some road construction. And you’re going back tomorrow. You haven’t really gone around the city, so I figured it’d be a good time.”

You hum, looking at him with a small smile.

“Sure,” you buy. “It feels like only yesterday you were driving a beat-up Hyundai. Now, you’re all fancy.”

He chuckles, turning as his car speeds through the bridge. “Well, many things have changed since you left.”

Donghyuck looks beautiful like this: Seoul’s horizon running like a movie as he drives, smile soft, eyes bright.

“I’m sorry,” you brave up.

It takes you great courage to say it out loud. As best friends, you and Donghyuck had always said “thank you,” and “I love you” openly, and in countless of occasions, these words have healed scratches made around your friendship. Rarely you and him would ever say you’re sorry. The only time you can remember apologizing to him was the night, a few weeks before graduation when you’d just returned from the States after your internship. That sorry barely made up the wounds you’d caused.

At this age, you understand why saying sorry wasn’t normal for you and Donghyuck. You and him were inseparable. You were soulmates—are if you can bravely say it out loud. Your bond is stronger with him than anyone else, and you’d always believed that nothing could ever come between you and him. Like the decisions you’d made, nothing changed until something did. And when things changed, you and him had no idea what to do. Because as far as you can remember, you and Donghyuck remained constant, like a routine, a bible with a comprehensive and cohesive series of stories that’s never changed. So, when feelings got in between—denial and pining and confusion—neither of you had any idea how to handle it.

Donghyuck was bold and brave. You, on the other hand, had no ounce of courage to give it a try.

He only smiles. “A few years too late, don’t you think?”

You nod. “I know. Do you accept my apology?”

“If you buy me ice cream,” he answers.

“Done,” you say, smiling back at him. “I was scared.”

Donghyuck keeps his eyes on the road. “Of?”

“That I’d come back to Seoul and see you married with kids and all.”

“And what’s so scary about that?”

“Because it would mean I’d thrown away all the chances the universe has given me.”

Donghyuck looks ethereal like this: in a suit, smiling as he watches his bride walk down the aisle.

“Take care, yeah?” Renjun whispers as he hugs you.

Mark’s Dad and Mark himself are waiting for you outside. As most of your friends have gone home to their families after graduation, with the exception of Renjun and Jisung who spared some time today just to see you off, Mark volunteered (his dad) to drop you off the airport.

“I will,” you say, burying your face into his chest. “Any word from Donghyuck?”

Renjun pulls away and looks down. You know the answer.

“It’s okay,” you answer, mostly to yourself. “He’ll call me back soon. I’m sure.”

“I hope so,” Renjun mumbles.

The only call you get before you enter the gates is a drunken one. It’s Donghyuck.

“I hate you,” he grits through the device. “And I never want to see you again.”

“I didn’t want to come back,” you confess. Donghyuck keeps his hands on the steering wheel. “Because you’d said you never wanted to see me again.”

“And I sent you messages you never received,” Donghyuck says. It surprises you. “Because your Korean number was no longer active and you’d blocked me from everything at that time.”

You smile, wondering if you had a little bit more understanding—if you had waited a little before deactivating your old number, if you had given it some time—would you and Donghyuck end up together in the end? If Donghyuck hadn’t been drunk the night you left Seoul—if he’d taken a taxi before you boarded the plane, if he’d just said sorry back—would you and him have gotten into a relationship right away?

Regret, just like grief, makes you feel things like this. They make you wonder what could have happened, if it would’ve given you the same, awful outcome, or if it would take you to the happy ending you keep dreaming about.

“Funny how we had many things we couldn’t say despite us being best friends,” he comments. “And you agree that many things have changed in the last four years, right?”

You hum, looking out your window, watching the horizon blur in motion.

“Donghyuck-ah,” you whisper, eyes still on the moving horizon. “The only thing that hasn’t changed for me.”

“What?” he asks.

“You,” you say. “You’re the only one that hasn’t changed for me. You’re still sharp when you need to be, but gentle where people you love need you to be. You’re still beautiful like the day I had realized I loved you. It wasn’t shocking, though. That day. I wasn’t all too shocked that your newly-dyed pink hair was the eureka moment for me. Because I knew all along. It was more like a flick on the wrist rather than a surprise. Like it’s always been there. The pink hair was just a reminder.”

Donghyuck stays quiet.

“And I say this like I’m hoping I could go back to four years ago and try harder to apologize,” you continue, tears already brimming your eyes. “But I guess we needed this, Donghyuck. We needed to grow—sadly—apart. And I feel like, no, I know that I wouldn’t have gotten to know myself better if we didn’t grow apart.”

“Yeah,” he speaks for what seems like a long time. “We were—you were right all along. We couldn’t just risk it all for a relationship. I had offers left and right even before we’d graduated, and you.”

You look at him. Donghyuck’s eyes are carefully still on the road, but his gaze is soft, eyes shining from the tears welling up.

“You were made to see the world,” he says, and it breaks you like glass. “I wouldn’t have forgiven myself if I were the reason why you don’t have the life you have now. Because it wouldn’t have worked. I love you, and I just know that at that time, when we were young and all, I wouldn’t have let you go work abroad. The few months you spent in the state for a mere internship already shook our friendship in ways we didn’t expect. What more if we had been in a relationship?”

“Donghyuck,” you sniffle. “I love you. And it hurt. And I’m sorry it us this long. I’m sorry it took me this long.”

“Stop apologizing. Y/N, I would’ve let you go eventually,” he confesses. “Because I love you so much that I’d be willing to let you go if it meant you could soar.”

The sun sets in the horizon the next time you look out your window.

Donghyuck keeps one hand on the wheel and shows you the other, palm up.

You take it with courage.

And you. You look beautiful like this: dressed in white, smiling as you walk towards your groom. You best friend. Donghyuck.

491 notes · View notes

starlitmark · 1 year

Text

Pairing: Toyger!Mark x fem!reader Genre: fluff, very minor angst, hybrid au Rating: PG Warnings: breakups, language, brief Markhyuck, mentions of anxiety, kissing, mentions of feeling inferior/judged, vague allusions to sex Word Count: 7,740 Summary: You’ve worked alongside Mark almost your entire career. You stay by his side when you learn about his somewhat awkward breakup. The closer you get, the more you realize that you enjoy his company. Maybe you want to stay by his side longer than you thought.

Neo Hybridverse Masterlist || Toyger!Mark Masterlist

Mark was minding his business, getting ready to head into his office for the day. Nothing seemed out of place other than the fact that Donghyuck was already out of bed and making himself breakfast. His boyfriend never got up this early if he could help it. Still, he didn’t pay it any mind as he went about his usual morning routine. Donghyuck’s scent was slightly off and smokier than his familiar campfire smell, but Mark still paid it no mind. As he moved around the apartment, he didn’t bother asking his boyfriend if anything was wrong. More likely than not, it was because he got mad at the game he was playing during his stream the night before.

It isn’t until he comes back to the kitchen table, where the younger was angrily munching on his cereal, that things explode. Mark had simply leaned down to kiss the tip of the Shiba’s ear. Donghyuck jerked in the opposite direction. He glared at his boyfriend before standing up and moving a chair away. This time though, Mark doesn’t shrug it off. Instead, he moves over to the chair his boyfriend had moved to. Again, he tried to kiss the tip of his furry ear, and the younger jerked away.

“Baby pup, what’s wrong? Was your stream really that rough last night?” the kitty hybrid asks naïvely.

“Fuck you.” the Shiba grumbles, not adding much else to the conversation.

“I can’t fix anything if I don’t know what’s wrong, Hyuck. Can you communicate so I don’t leave you here all angry?”

“There’s nothing you can fucking do!” the younger screams out, “You’re always fucking working, and I can’t remember the last time we had a proper date and-” he breaks down in tears on the spot.

“Pup,” Mark sighs, taking the slightly smaller puppy hybrid in his arms, “I thought we were on the same page with everything. We’ve been dating since I started this career. I thought you understood that I’d be working weird hours. My creative flow for writing doesn’t have a set schedule. I’m sure I annoy the hell out of my illustrator for making her wake up and come into the office at 2 am at least once a week.” he says, trying to lighten the mood while running his hand up and down the Shiba hybrid’s spine (who still has yet to stop crying), “I’m sorry I hurt you Hyuckie, that wasn’t my intention at all. Maybe-” he interrupts himself with a sigh, “maybe this isn’t going to work out.”

Hyuck’s already agitated smokey smell got more intense, “What did you just fucking say? Know what fuck you, Mark Lee! Fuck you and your stupid fucking job!” he forces himself out of the kitty’s grasp and storms off to his gaming room, slamming the door behind him.

Mark can’t do anything to fix it anymore, he said something he can’t take back, and now he’s suddenly single. As much as he would love to fix things between them, he also knows that he’s already running late for work as it is. He knew you would kill him when he stepped foot in the office too. If he asked if you could be there at 8 am sharp, he should be there by at least 7:30. Collecting the last of what he needed. He left the apartment despite the notably furious Donghyuck on the other side of the shared home.

“Hey, it’s about time you showed up!” you call without looking up, hearing Mark enter the small work studio, “Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumb are sitting in our kitchen right now. Don’t ask me why neither of them are-” you stop rambling when a very frisky Bengal kitty stomps into the room.

“I know for a fact you did not just refer to my absolutely fabulous boyfriend and myself as those blubbering idiots from Alice in Wonderland. If anything, we’re Romeo and Juliet… wait, no, they both end up dead… maybe-”

“Down, kitty,” Johnny says, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend, “you’re going to hurt yourself thinking about a good duo for us.” he laughs.

Mark doesn’t say a thing, though. He just quietly shuffled over to his desk, which was probably not helpful since there was a picture of him and Donghyuck sitting in the corner. The youngest kitty groans and slams his head down against the desk, effectively making everyone else aware of his emotional state. Only then do Ten and Johnny notice how Mark’s scent has changed. His normally smooth green tea scent was bitter, almost chalky in a way. Of course, being human, you couldn’t smell the change in his scent. Despite your whole family being hybrids, you’re the only one who was born human. The only advantage you have in this situation is that you’re slightly more in tune with handling the situation than the average human. You watch as Ten releases himself from Johnny’s grip and slinks over to sit on the edge of Mark’s desk. Reaching over, he starts stroking the younger’s kitty ears, hoping to soothe him a little, just enough to relax his scent.

“Do you want to talk about it?” you offer gently, still sitting at your art table, keeping a distance.

Mark groans in reply.

“Come on, Mark,” Johnny adds, “Ten, and I can smell that you’re not happy right now. And we both know that she can sense it even if she can’t smell it.”

“You must’ve at least talked to Donghyuck about it, right?” Ten adds, hoping it’s a helpful addition.

When Mark’s scent gets even more bitter, Ten puts two and two together. Looking over at his boyfriend, then back to Mark, then to you, and again back to Mark, he tries to find the best words to say. You sigh and finally stand up from your workbench and gently move Johnny out of the way. Ten, of course, catches the hint and moves as well. You take the more petite kitty’s place and begin rubbing the base of Mark’s furry ears, and a soft purr of appreciation erupts from his throat. It took quite a while for Mark to be comfortable enough to show any of his kitty qualities to you. Still, he’s timid about showing them. Now though, he couldn’t care less due to his emotional state.

“When did it happen?” you ask softly, “Your breakup with Donghyuck, I mean.”

“This morning,” Mark finally sighs, “just before I left to come here. So that’s the reason I was late.”

You hum in response. With your free hand, you take a picture of the former couple and pass it to Johnny. You knew the picture on his desk would only add salt to his incredibly fresh wound. You prod further into the situation and coax Mark to talk bit by bit until you get the full story from his perspective. You have always known Donghyuck to be a somewhat impulsive person, it was his nature, but for him to explode like that, you knew it must’ve been weeks, if not months, of the build-up to get to this point. You look over at the other two kitties, who, in the past few months, you’ve grown to become friends with too. You share a silent conversation and ultimately realize that Mark is simply in no state to write or edit anything.

“Since she’s got it under control, I hate to say it, but Yuta just texted me saying there was a walk-in customer asking me to do a tattoo for them. He tried to tell them I wasn’t in until the afternoon, but…” he trails off.

“It’s okay. I should probably… write, I guess… I need to finish this chapter of the book.” Mark sighs.

“You will not be working.” you state matter-of-factly, “I’m treating you to a nice little brunch at the cafe downtown. You’re in no mindset to write, and I’m sure you don’t really want to do that right now either.”

“Go relax and decompress a little bit Mark.” the oldest kitty adds as soon as he notices Mark is about to protest.

Before the youngest could fight anything, both his older friends left the small office, leaving the two of you alone, which is not uncommon. More often than not, if you were both sitting in your shared office space, there was quiet music playing or silence as you both did the tasks you needed to complete for the day. Of course, the occasional question regarding which scene to illustrate came up, and Mark asked if the flow was okay or used you as a bounce board for ideas. It was always comfortable, though. There was never an awkward air between you. With your fingers gently scratching the base of the kitty hybrid’s ear, you don’t feel a single strand of tension in the air.

“You want me to continue scratching your ear for a little bit? Or would you rather head out to go to that cafe now?”

“This is nice,” he admits, “I was never really on the receiving end of these scratches with Hyuck. He much preferred having his ears scratched than scratching mine.”

“Do you like this?”

“Yeah, it’s really comforting. Not something I ever got a lot as a kid either.”

So you stay like that for a while, knowing you were providing some comfort to him was more than enough satisfaction to you right now. You offer absentminded questions, get short but meaningful responses out of him, and offer them back when he asks for your reply. You even managed to get a few giggles or chuckles from him when you mentioned a rather interesting or random anecdote. You take note of his tail flicking back and forth in a content manner. That’s when you decide to remove your hand from his head and offer to begin your drive downtown to the cafe. He finally lifts his head from the wooden surface and nods in agreement.

The entire drive to the cafe, you continue to have leisurely conversations. Despite you working side by side for a few years now, you rarely get to talk about things outside the sphere of work. You learn very quickly that when Mark is comfortable, he’ll talk forever. You also get more insight into how he processes the world and, ultimately, how he builds the worlds in his novels. You couldn’t smell his scent, but you knew he was still not feeling his best. Being raised around hybrids your whole life helped you immensely when it came to deciphering your co-worker’s emotional state. Even after you had parked and started to walk towards the doors of the café, his tail wasn’t swaying like it typically does, nor were his ears upright and perky. All you can do for now is keep him distracted and as happy as you can.

“Why don’t you go find a table, and I’ll order our drinks.” you smile.

“Do you know what I want?” “You always get the same thing, Mark, I know.” you giggle.

Luckily it isn’t busy, but you know Mark will want a sunny seat. He’ll never admit it out loud, but he loves when the sun shines on him in the office. As you get in line to order, you see him sit in the corner where the sun is beaming through the window, just as expected. His ear twitches seemingly content, even if you know the actual underlying cause of the twitching is anxiety. You order your typical drink and order Mark his go-to. Peach Jelly Iced Tea; he’s never been fond of coffee as long as you’ve known him. He shudders every time he witnesses Johnny drink black coffee in the office when he’s around. With the drinks in hand, you make your way over to wear Mark had chosen to sit. His tail flicks lazily back and forth under the table. It’s a habit he has when he’s lost in thought.

“Where’d you run off to?” you tease lightly, placing the drink down in front of him.

“Hmm?” he jumps slightly, “oh, just one of the upcoming chapters of the book we’re working on. I think I want to have that android escape his factory and meet the professor.”

“What if he met Kyren? She’s kind of a rouge. It’s more likely that he’d meet her rather than the professor.”

Mark chitters slightly but swallows the sound before it entirely escapes him, “He can’t! Kyren is in prison right now after stealing those bionic parts for Becca. You’re right, though. The professor wouldn’t cross paths with him.” he whines, the two characters have a lot of history. He’s putting them through hell as any good author would.

“Dzia? She escaped that facility in the previous chapter you wrote, right?”

“She did. Maybe that could work. Dzia is the one to start the uprising against the government. It couldn’t hurt to have the android assisting her.”

You giggle at the pout that grows on his lips as he thinks. You nudge his drink closer to him before taking your own sip. He doesn’t notice until you push it enough to have the cold cup touch his hand. He scratches the back of his head, slightly embarrassed that he got so lost in thought. There are a few moments of silence before either of you speaks again. Mark makes a happy sound as he sips his tea, filling your chest with warmth.

“What made you start liking that specific tea so much?”

“You’ve heard about Yuta, right?” you nod, “He got this tea for me a while ago, and he got me immediately hooked on it. Jungwoo, one of my and Jaehyun’s friends, really likes it too. It’s like our thing to get these together when we hang out.”

“Jaehyun, as in that Newfie hybrid that comes around with those pups?” you question.

“Yeah, those are his boys. He really loves them a lot.”

“Wait, they’re all his? Isn’t he close to our age?”

Mark chuckles and takes another sip of his fruity beverage, “Yeah, we’ll just say that Jaehyun has always really wanted to be a dad. His boys are well-behaved, though. He’s a good dad. I babysit for him sometimes so he and his girlfriend can do classes or have dates. Baekhyun is seven now; he’s a Newfie like Jae. He’s a terrific kid, and I can’t wait to see what he does when he gets older. Hoseok is five, a basenji like his mom. He just started kindergarten this year, but he’s such a funny kid. Jaehyun thinks he’s going to do big things one day. They just had their third, Subin. He’s a cute baby. His ears are far too big for him, but all pups grow into their ears eventually. Much calmer than his brothers ever were.”

You smile gently, listening to him talk about his friends and their kids, “Do you think they’ll have more?”

Mark nearly spits out his tea, laughing, “If Jae has anything to say about it, they won’t stop until he gets a little girl. That’s all he wants.”

“And what does his girlfriend think about that?”

“She’s had three kids in the past seven years. The poor woman wants a break from being pregnant.” “I can’t blame her.” you laugh, “I give her a lot of credit for doing that and also still going to school.”

From there, your conversation with Mark devolves into whatever comes to mind. You’re having such a good time with him that you lose track of time. The spot eventually got shady, and then the sun began setting outside. The golden light hits him at just the right angle that it seems like his irises glow a gorgeous amber color. It nearly takes your breath away. You have no idea where these emotions came bubbling from, but you think it best to suppress them. He turns his head and looks out the large window beside the two of you. A piece of his hair falls on his face as he turns. His kitty ears twitch again when a different bit of hair tickles against them in just the right way.

“We didn’t get any word done today.” he says in a slightly sad tone.

“Good. You needed the day off.” you say determinedly.

He sighs, “I guess I did. Let’s get back to the office. I have to walk back to my apartment.”

You can’t smell his scent, but you can tell how he deflates. You’ve known both him and his ex-boyfriend long enough to know that Donghyuck has already moved all of his things out. A small pit in your stomach forms thinking about how horrible your kitty friend must feel.

“I’ll drive you home. Do you have anything we could use to make a suitable dinner?”

“I couldn’t ask- you shouldn’t-” he stutters, “I don’t want to bug you any longer than I already have.”

You sigh, “Fine, then we’ll have to get dinner together on a different day.”

“Deal,” he smiles softly, “consider it a date!”

He slaps his hand over his mouth after processing what he just said. His tail flicks behind him quickly, trying to express any excess energy it can. You just smile and put your jacket on.

“If you want to call it that, we can see how it goes.”

About two weeks later, you’re turning off the overhead lights of your art desk in the office. Mark is still clacking away at his keyboard, getting his last few thoughts out onto the document. You had agreed to get dinner tonight since it worked well for both of you. The weather was uncharacteristically chilly for this time of year. The leaves have just started changing to the bright fall colors, yet the weather seems to be bordering on a winter feeling. Over the two weeks before your date, you and Mark have become closer than ever. It got to the point that Ten asked if you were dating. Mark lets out a low growl at him, but it does nothing, though. Ten is just proud of him for allowing one of his kitty sounds out while you were around.

“You almost done?” you chuckle, pressing your fingers into the scrunched-up skin between his eyebrows.

“Yeah, one more paragraph.”

You know that one more paragraph actually means two more chapters of writing, at least. Eventually, you talk him down to only finishing the paragraph he’s currently writing. You take a peek at what he’s working on. The imagery of his words alone gives you plenty of material to work with for the illustrations. You’ve always been very thankful that he describes everything so clearly, and if he doesn’t, then he’s always very helpful when it comes time for you to draw a scene. Just as he shuts down his computer, his phone starts ringing. You glance down and see that it’s Jaehyun. You know that the puppy hybrid doesn’t call unless it’s an emergency.

“Is everything okay?” Mark asks as soon as he accepts the call, “What? Are you sure he’s not just fucking with you?” his eyes go wide, “Sicheng never- okay, um, one second.” he mutes himself and looks up at you. “Sicheng backed out of babysitting last minute. Jae wants to know if I can babysit tonight.”

“I don’t mind watching the boys with you. If Jae and his girlfriend are really in a bind, I don’t mind tagging along.”

He nods at you and unmutes himself, “You cool if my um- the girl I’m talking to comes too?... my illustrator… Okay, cool, cool, we’ll be there in like,” he pauses to look at the time, “fifteen minutes.”

The drive is relatively peaceful despite the sudden change in plans. As always, Mark walked to work today, so you drove. The house you pull up to is small, but you can still feel the love radiating from it. You opt to park along the curb on the off chance that both parents would be driving separately. Mark smiles at you, eyes curving into pretty crescents as he does so. Mark gets out of your car, his tail swishing happily behind him as he approaches the front door, and you follow behind him. As you approach the door, you can hear the liveliness of the home bursting through. Mark turns around, flashing you a smile before knocking on the door. When it opens, a pretty basenji hybrid opens the door, one arm full, holding a little pup.

“Thanks for coming on such short notice.” she sighs, “Jae and I both have lectures we need to attend tonight and-”

“Baekhyun, come back in here and clean up after yourself.”

“Sorry about him. Baek has been forgetful lately. I think it’s partly on purpose at times. Please come on in.” she smiles softly, moving out of the way.

The home is just as welcoming on the inside. There are a few areas covered in toys, but you can’t be too surprised when three kids are in the house. First, you spot a tall kid running past with big brown floppy ears. You assume it’s Baekhyun since a more petite boy with blonde ears comes bounding up and throws himself in Mark’s direction.

“Hi, Hoseok,” Mark giggles, “how has school been?”

“Good!” the little boy chuckles, showing a toothy grin that’s missing a tooth right in front.

Jaehyun walks up a few moments later and sighs before speaking, “Thanks so much for doing this, and I hate to ruin your date- it was a date, right?”

“Yeah,” you smile, “it’s okay. You and your girlfriend have classes to take care of. I’m sure your boys won’t be too hard to wrangle.”

The puppy hybrid lets out an airy laugh and shakes his head. His girlfriend joined him not much later, still holding Subin in her arms. She passes the small pup to him before informing the three of you that she’ll be getting her school supplies ready to go. Jaehyun called after her to grab his stuff as well. Mark’s older friend chats with you for a few more moments before Subin gets fussy.

“He should get a bottle soon. The instructions are on the fridge. Baekhyun has one more assignment for homework he needs to do. After that, Hoseok should be all set. Both of them go to bed in about an hour and a half. Subin should be ready to sleep right after he has his bottle.” he pauses for a moment, “That should be about it.”

“We’ll be back around 9:30 from our classes!” his counterpart calls down the hallway.

“That too.” he chuckles, “You comfortable with holding the baby?”

You nod, “Do you trust Mark to make the bottle, though?”

“Hey!” he argues, ear twitching as he speaks, “I can do it!”

“You can’t even make eggs, Mark.” you tease.

Jaehyun passes Subin over to you and takes his bookbag from his girlfriend. She calls both of her older boys into the room. Giving them each a kiss on the tops of their heads and then scratching Subin’s ears, she grabs her own things. With that, both parents were out the door. Mark’s tail starts swishing back and forth again, displaying his content state. However, Hoseok sees his tail as something he can pounce on. The kitty hybrid nearly jumps out of his skin when he feels his tail being tugged. Turning around, he scoops the puppy up and spins him around in his arms. The little boy giggles up a storm as his uncle shakes him and tosses him around.

You bounce Subin in your arms as you make your way to the kitchen. Mark is right. He’s an adorable baby. The Jung boys are very adorable pups. Perks of having two gorgeous parents. As Jaehyun had mentioned, the instructions for Subin’s bottle are on the fridge. Shifting the newborn to be resting against your shoulder, you start preparing the bottle. It doesn’t take incredibly long, nor is it complicated, but to anyone who hasn’t had any interactions with babies, you could understand why it would be slightly confusing. So you just stand in the kitchen, rocking the tiny baby back and forth in your arms until his bottle is ready.

“You look pretty.”

Hearing Mark’s voice makes you jump, “How long were you standing there?”

“Not long, seriously though, you look pretty.”

You don’t know how to react; he’s never been so direct with you before. Right now, of all times, is another reason you don’t know how to respond; you’re standing in his friend’s kitchen holding said friend’s newborn. You just stand there and look at him for a few moments. There are stars in his eyes as he looks back at you. His hair seems to frame his face and ears so perfectly. Then, mark walks closer to you, and it looks like he’s about to kiss you in the small kitchen. Your heart pounds out of your chest at the idea that he might do it. Then, just as he starts to search your eyes for any remnants of an answer to his silent question, you hear a quiet growl.

“I think that’s Baekhyun,” he says quietly, “I’ll go check on him.”

You nod and redirect your attention to the bottle that is finally ready to give to the baby. With the bottle in hand, you move to the couch. It would be easiest to hold and feed him there so you could also be comfortable. Subin almost instantly takes the bottle in his mouth and drinks to his heart’s content. However, you feel a pair of eyes on you. It’s not Mark; you can hear him talking down the hall. When you look up, you see Hoseok looking at you with a confused expression. One of his blonde ears flops over as he tilts his head at you. He doesn’t say a word to you and just looks at you. You can practically see the cogs turning in his mind. You smile before looking down at Subin again, ensuring he’s alright. Two pairs of footsteps come down the hall, and you see Baekhyun, followed by Mark, entering the living area. Only then does Hoseok speak.

“Where are your ears? Do you not have ears? Do you only have a tail? My classmate only has a tail… he keeps it hidden, though, cause it’s a little bunny tail. Not a big long tail like Baek and me have.”

“Hoseok! You can’t ask people that!” Baekhyun chastises.

“Why not?” the younger pup asks, utterly oblivious to why his question was bad.

“It’s okay, Baekhyun,” you assure, “I don’t have ears or a tail, Hoseok. I’m a human, not a hybrid.”

“Ohhhhh,” the five-year-old draws out, “are your mommy and daddy humans too?”

You shift slightly and move Subin into a position so you can burp him. Hoseok doesn’t mean to make you uncomfortable by any means; he’s only five, after all. The question does hit a bit of a sensitive topic for you, though. Baekhyun seems to sense your discomfort despite your attempts to brush it off. You answer just as he’s about to drag his brother away to play with him.

“No, my parents are hybrids like you guys. They’re a type of kitty hybrid.” you smile sweetly, “I just wasn’t born like them.”

“Oh, I think it’s cool that you’re a human!” he giggles, showing the empty space where his tooth should be, “I think Uncle Mark likes you too.”

Mark seems to choke on air when the pup says that. He’s coughing up a storm off to the side, and you do nothing but giggle. You finish burping the baby moments later, and both of the boys settle in front of you, playing with their toys together. Jaehyun had told you that Subin would likely fall asleep quickly after his bottle, but you still lay him against your chest and rubbed his small back to be sure. Mark comes and sits beside you but doesn’t speak. You can tell something’s on his mind, though. He offers to take the infant from you, but you reject it. You rather like the comfort the small hybrid brings. He’s only a month old, but the slight weight against your chest, combine with his warmth and little puffs of breath against your neck, makes you feel more at ease.

You both hear a disgruntled noise escape Baekhyun again. When you look over at where he was previously sitting with his brother, he wasn’t there. A few moments later, you hear his footsteps pad back into the main area of the home. He’s holding a singular sheet of paper and a pack of colored pencils. You can immediately tell what’s wrong and, this time, take Mark’s offer and hand him the baby. The oldest of the three boys sits at the dining table, clearly brooding over the blank paper in front of him. You approach slowly, gauging where he is emotionally as you do so.

“You okay there, Baekhyun?” you ask quietly, sitting beside him at the table.

“‘M fine.” he grumbles, “It’s just a stupid project.”

“What’s stupid about it?”

You glance down at the paper and read the instructions. He needs to read a short story and then draw what he visualizes. It’s not very difficult, but as an artist, you can understand how frustrating it can be just to draw sometimes. The seven-year-old groans and flops his head down face first on the table, his chocolate brown ears laying flat out on either side of his head. You scratch his hair gently, and a giggle escapes your lips as you notice his tail wagging slightly.

“I just don’t know where to start.” he admits, “There’s too many parts I could draw…”

“Do you want my help?”

The boy looks up at you with glittery eyes, “You can help me?”

You nod and smile at him, “I do all the drawings in your Uncle Mark’s books. I won’t do it for you, but I can absolutely help you.”

The next fifteen or so minutes were spent helping Baekhyun choose which scene he wanted to draw and how to get it started. His eyes seemed to light up when you offered a little bit of direction to his creative energy. You know precisely what that spark is, he loves what he’s doing, and you remember when you first felt that spark for art as well. It’s one of the most rewarding feelings you’ve ever had in your life. Now, you get to show that spark to someone else. Yet, something about the entire situation feels extremely domestic. You’re sitting and helping Baekhyun with homework; Hoseok peacefully plays with his toys while Mark watches him and holds Subin. Yet, a flutter of something invades your belly that, at this moment, you’re choosing not to address.

Once Baekhyun is finished with his art assignment, you walk back over to Mark. Baekhyun rejoins his younger brother on the floor playing. Mark smiles at you when you return. His ears are angled out slightly, and he blinks slowly. It’s extremely obvious that he’s happy. When you look down at the infant, you see that he’s happily asleep in his arms. The tiny pup nuzzles closer against Mark’s chest. Even in his sleep, Subin displays his comfort with his kitty uncle. You sit beside him for a few minutes; the silence is comfortable, and not a single word feels the need to be said.

“I’ll get the older two ready for bed. You seem like you’re enjoying your time with Subinnie.” you giggle quietly.

“You’ll come back and sit with us, right?” this time, his slow blinks are directed at you.

“I will,” you promise.

Just as you go to stand up again, Mark calls your name. You turn towards him, and before he can talk himself out of it, he leans forward and places a quick peck against your lips. You don’t get a moment to react because a pup, namely Hoseok, is crying out in disgust.

“Don’t you know Uncle Mark has cooties!” he half yells.

“Shh, your brother is sleeping.” you chastise gently, “Don’t worry, I can’t catch his cooties.”

“Are you sure?” the five-year-old asks, narrowing his eyes.

“I’m sure, pup. You and Baekhyun need to clean up now. It’s bedtime.”

Both older boys whine but do as their told and clean up their toys. Baekhyun is the first to make it to their shared bedroom, nearly slamming the door in his younger brother’s face. You hear the younger whine before opening the door again and closing it behind him. After Baekhyun pops his head out of the bedroom door again, you take it as a sign to go check on them. Baekhyun looks up at you with big eyes when you get to the door. He doesn’t say anything but opens the door more to show you that Hoseok is currently fighting with the buttons of his pajama shirt. The older puppy tells you that his brother won’t let him help. You just chuckle lightly and make your way over to the growling five-year-old. His frustration subsides almost immediately after you make your presence known to him. Hoseok’s ears fall down slightly, making it clear that he’s now more relaxed. Baekhyun makes a noise that you can only call a rumble when he sees his brother calm down. The two boys dash into the bathroom moments later to brush their teeth and wash their faces. You, of course, assist Hoseok with both tasks when he asks with the most adorable pout ever.

Baekhyun and Hoseok say good night to Mark and their baby brother before you tuck them into bed for the night. When you return to the couch, you see Mark happily cuddling with the sleeping baby. He’s purring quietly; the sound makes your chest burst with warmth. Unfortunately, though, the moment he registers that you’re back, he forces the noise back. You plop down beside him, laying your head back against the couch. Lolling your head to the side, you find Mark already looking at you.

“I can go put him in his crib.” you offer.

“I like cuddling him.” the kitty responds.

You nod, “Ten more minutes. Jae and his girlfriend would have our heads if we readjusted Subin to only sleep while being held.”

Mark nods, looking down at the small pup, “Ya know, I never really thought about being a parent until I heard Jaehyun talking about his boys. That kind of unconditional love is so crazy to me. Something you have to experience. It can’t really be described in words.”

“Yeah?” you respond, “Is that something you and Hyuck ever talked about?”

“No,” he replies shortly.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be bringing that stuff up. Especially when this was supposed to be a date.”

He hums, “Can I ask you something?” you nod, “Are you the only human in your family? Like including extended family and such.” “Yeah, it was hard for me growing up. That’s part of why I applied to art schools here; I needed to get away from it.”

“I get that,” he responds, “being the only kitty in my family was really rough for me too. They didn’t really understand how to handle my behavior sometimes. That’s why when I reached the end of grade eight, I talked my parents into letting me come here for the end of grade school. Same as you, kinda.”

“Do you miss it?”

“Hmm? Do you mean Canada? Of course, I love working here, though. I don’t feel as suffocated by my family when I’m here.”

“Suffocated?”

“They love me, my parents and brother, they mean well… they just… stigmatize me a little bit.” he sighs, “I wish they could just see me like you see me. I’m just Mark. I’m not ‘the cat son’ or ‘little kitty’... I’m just… Mark.”

“Well, just Mark, you never have to feel out of place with me. I know exactly what it’s like to feel out of place when you should be very much in place.”

The kitty hybrid smiles at you, leans his head forward, and nuzzles against you. It’s the first time he’s genuinely let his kitty behaviors display around you. You chuckle and let him nuzzle as long as he wishes. But, of course, Subin isn’t a fan of being leaned over slightly. He whimpers quietly, and Mark takes that as a sign to put the baby in his crib finally. He sighs and gets up to lay the infant down to sleep. His tail swishes happily behind him as he walks away. You find it rather endearing. He doesn’t take long to return. When he does, his tail is still happily swishing, his ears are slightly tilted out, and a soft smile rests on his lips.

“Hey,” he sighs happily, “I checked on Baek and Hoseok; they’re both fast asleep already.”

He plops down next to you and leans his head on your shoulder. You smile at him and reach to take his hand in yours. At first, Mark tenses up at the feeling of your hand on his. After a few moments, he relaxes and laces his fingers with yours. The silence between you two is comfortable; you don’t feel any need to speak up and fill the quiet moment with sound. His furry ears tickle against your skin lightly, but you don’t mind it one bit.

“Sorry,” Mark whispers softly, “about earlier…”

“There’s nothing to apologize about, Mark. If anything, I should say thank you.” you chuckle.

“Thank me? I kissed you without even asking first… and also disgusted the boys in the process…”

You giggle again, “Mark,” you start, squeezing his hand for good measure, “I may not have said anything, but I’m so happy you did kiss me.”

He picks his head up from your shoulder to properly look at you now, “Is it if I kiss you again? Like properly, not whatever I did before.”

“Of course,” you smile, though your heart is beating out of your chest, “I like you, Mark.”

“I like you too.” he whispers.

He leans in and presses his lips softly against yours. His grip on your hand tightens as if you would disappear from his hold at any moment. Your other arm wraps around his shoulders, bringing him closer to you. You can feel the slight rumble of a purr growing in his chest. Smiling against his lips, you think you could burst right there due to how happy you feel. His fingers unthread from yours to wrap both his arms around your waist. The positioning you’re sat in isn’t exactly ideal, but at the current moment, you couldn’t be bothered to care about that. You’re so caught up in the moment that you don’t hear the front door unlock or open.

“Woah, woah, woah.”

Jaehyun makes his presence known immediately. Mark jumps away from you as if you burned him. Meanwhile, Jaehyun’s girlfriend laughs quietly.

“Happy things are great between you two, but I don’t need any more children being made in this house… right now.”

“We weren’t- it’s not-” Mark stutters trying to find the right words.

“Noted.” you smile, “All three are out cold, and Subin had his last bottle around 45 minutes ago.”

You get up off the couch and grab your bag from the kitchen table. Mark is still stunned, not sure how to react to his older puppy friend’s comment. You have to physically walk over to him and guide him to the front door where his shoes and jacket are. You say goodbye to the couple, and Mark gives some semblance of one. He’s still shocked by Jaehyun’s forwardness, but at least now he’s speaking and just a little jittery. Even during the walk back to your car, Mark seems to be deep in thought. His right ear keeps twitching, and he holds the end of his tail, wringing it gently as he walks.

“You okay there?” you tease once you’re settled in the car.

“I won’t be able to look Jaehyun in the eyes ever again.” he deadpans.

“Why?” you ask, trying not to laugh.

“He implied… and he also… nope, nope, nope! Let’s just go home.”

“Home meaning dropping you off, or am I staying over, or are you staying at mine?”

He blushes, “Just drop me off tonight.” he explains.

“Where is she?” Ten asks the moment he steps into Mark’s office.

“Hmm?” Mark hums, not looking away from his computer.

Ten narrows his eyes at the younger kitty and hisses slightly. Johnny chuckles and takes the liberty of sitting down at your empty station. Mark pushes his glasses back up his nose and finally looks at his older friend. Ten’s tail flicks annoyedly, and his arms are crossed over his chest. Mark just blinks at him a few times slowly.

“Oh?” Ten questions, amused now, “How long have you been feeling that way towards her?”

“Huh?” his boyfriend questioned, “What did he do?”

“He was slow blinking! Johnny! He-” Ten cuts himself off with a happy noise, “Tell me, tell me!”

Mark takes a breath, about to speak, when you walk through the door with a cup carrier full of drinks. Ten notes the slight change in Mark’s scent; it gets slightly smoother and calmer. Johnny picks up on it too. The oldest of the three suddenly is very invested in what’s happening despite being highly interested in his phone moments ago.

“Good morning, boys.” you beam, “I got you guys drinks.”

You set the carrier down at your desk, shooing Johnny out of your seat in the process. Next, you place your bag on the floor against your station and take off your jacket and scarf. Once you’re reasonably situated, you look at each of them.

“A large Iced Americano for you,” you state, handing Johnny his coffee, “a caffe americano for you,” you walk over and hand Ten his drink,

“Thank you,” the kitty smiles at you.

“It’s not a big deal,” you reply, “this is mine,” you say to yourself as you place your drink on a coaster, “and this a Peach Jelly Iced Tea for you.”

You walk the short distance over to Mark. You notice his slow blinks again and smile at the sight. Handing him his drink, your fingers just hardly touch. You still haven’t gotten past the butterflies that erupt in your belly each time you come in contact with him in any physical way. You’re about to step away, but Mark grabs your wrist. You turn back around and hold eye contact with him for a few moments. You know exactly what he wants when he tugs on your arm slightly; you know exactly what he wants. You lean down and press a peck against his lips.

“Thank you, sweetheart.”

“Hold the fuck on!” Ten interrupts your moment, “I think we skipped a few chapters. Can I get a refresher?” “Ten, you ruined their moment!” Johnny teases.

“Fuck that! When the hell did you two start dating?”

“Um,” you start.

“About two weeks ago… when we babysat for Jae…”

Both older kitties seem to accept it as the truth. You, however, are trying to hold back a laugh.

“Mark, you never asked me out yet.” your voice laced with a slight bit of laughter.

“I-” he goes to defend himself, “I didn’t…”

Ten isn’t as subtle as you. He bursts out in loud laughter, “Good job, Mark.”

“How did you mess that one up?” Johnny adds to the teasing.

“Shut up.” Mark whines, “We’re dating. I’m not making things up! We’re just writing our story our way, right? ” he directs the question to you.

“Of course, we are,” you smile, “now, you two out! We have work to get done, and you’re distractions.”

You start ushering Johnny and Ten toward the exit of your small office.

“Don’t have too much fun, you two.” Ten winks.

“Goodbye, Ten.” you groan, “Bye, Johnny.” you sigh.

Once they’re out of the office and the door is shut, you lean your body against the doorframe. You let out a sigh before pushing off and walking towards your boyfriend. He has since reburied himself in his writing. You come up behind him and gently rub the base of his stripped ears. A slight purr escapes his lips before he looks up at you.

“You finally figure out where the plot’s going again?” you ask softly.

“Mhm, do you think you could illustrate this scene?” he asks, highlighting a section he had just written.

You read over it briefly, “Of course, I can. Can you just jot down that description so I can get sketching?” you ask, kissing the crown of his head.

He nods and takes a napkin quickly, writing down what he had just described in the story. You think for a few moments about what has just transpired in the past few weeks. Life threw a huge curveball at you in the best way. Did you ever think you’d fall for Mark? No, not at all. You would never change a thing that happened in the past month.

“Maybe we should move your art table right in front of mine, so you don’t have to get up mid-sketch to show me what you’re doing…” he thinks out loud, then processes that you’re zoned out, “Where’d you run off to?” Mark asks, just like you had asked him the day you took him to the cafe.

“Just somewhere.” you chuckle, “thinking about how crazy the past month has been.”

“It was a good crazy, though.” Mark adds, handing you the napkin note.

“That it has.” you smile, taking the note from him, “Shall we get back to work?”

“Let’s.” he smiles, “I’m serious about rearranging the office, by the way.”

“I know you are. I like how you think.” you nod, “Plus, the added benefit of seeing your face every time I look up from my sketchbook.”

“Shut up!” he whines out of embarrassment.

You just giggle and place a kiss on his cheek. Now off to sketch out the art. As you sketch, you find yourself wandering in your mind again, thinking about the present and the future. Yeah, this is good. Writing your future with Mark is more than you could ever wish for.

Networks: @neowritingsnet @nct-writers @k-vanity @kwritersworld @kdiarynet

Tag List: @raibebe @its-taeil-time @jaehunnyy @brattybunfornct @notbeforelong @n0hyuck @spiderrenjunfics @umbralhelwolf @tarutarumilk

#nct fluff #neowritingsnet #nct-writers #kvanity #kwritersworldnet #kdiarynet #nct fanfic #nct x reader #nct hybrid au #mark lee fanfic #mark lee x reader #mark lee fluff

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