#maybe i could stick around so i can finish my comic well thats not going to fucki

[arcaneyouth]

(this post isnt being queued because if i post it at the ripe old time of 1 am fewer people will see it alright have a nice day)

#vent post #negative #warning: im about to get into some emotions i havent told anybody including my therapist or even myself really and theyre bad! really bad #im not trigger tagging it because it. feels bad. i cant explain that i just cant #so basically just read at your own risk. if i dont get this out somehow i think i might scream #ok so getting just right to the point i am so fucking suicidal i dont want to live in this shitty ass world anymore #i cant imagine a world where i dont have to struggle. i cant imagine a world thats any better than this. #i cant imagine living past 21 anyways cause thats when my doctors said id die as a way to threaten me into doing my meds #i try so hard to be positive and hold on and it worked for 4-5 years and now theres not even a point. #im tired of trying. im tired of holding on. i will never be able to live comfortably. whats the fucking point. #im running out of reasons to stick around. #years ago my reasoning was that my friends would be sad. i cant really use that anymore #because im a traumatized fucking disaster thats been slowly trying to cut off my friends and stop caring about them #maybe i could stick around so i can finish my comic well thats not going to fucki #ng happen because the world is probably going to kill me before i can get it done #and nobody gives a shit about my ocs anyways except for me #or maybe i could stick around for that cool tv show or that video game i want to play or my favorite food #well none of that fucking matters!!! it barely makes me happy anymore. theyre just things. #what about my family? well thats easy i fucking hate them i wouldnt feel bad for leaving them. #ive been in a depressive slump for weeks and i dont know how to get out and every time i start to feel ok again someone or something #reminds me why this world is so horrible. #the internet reminds me every day of how people are dying and how people like me are getting killed for fun #my parents are pessimists who spend every conversation talking about how bad everything in the world is #so the options seem pretty simple to me. either the world kills me some time soon or i'll do it myself before it can. #but i wont #im scared of pain. im scared of dying. i know for a fact id never be able to pull anything off #so the fact that im still here doesnt even mean much. im just too terrified to leave. #yeah post over. sorry about. *gestures at this whole post*. i dont have the energy to write in my journal and ill probably be #too much of a wimp to tell my therapist #this just needs to get out somewhere. i really cant handle keeping it in me anymore.

[mingoyeob-archive]

omg hey, if not done yet, can we please have 51 + jk? also take your time for part 3, no need to rush and stress about it, you're an amazing writer and good work always takes time 💜

under the oak tree drabble game ⚔️🌳 to make up for my delayed release of part 3 of under the oak tree i’ve decided to do a drabble game!

omg thank you for being so kind 🥲 I wanna end under the oak tree in a good way so I've just been pushing it off until I come up with something thats not a complete disappointment?? but I'm hoping these drabbles give you guys more time to enjoy the characters! hope you like it :)

51. “I can’t help the fact that I’m so goddamn moody all the freaking time” | jjk x reader ft yoongi | word count: 2k

The castle was eerily quiet.

Most days it would be loud with the sound of footsteps and the banging of mugs hitting wood tables followed by the clanking of cutlery. However today, no one seemed to want to make a peep; they were as quiet as a mouse. Unlike everyone else who found the lack of noise peculiar, Yoongi enjoyed it - reveled in it, flourished in it even. Nothing made him happier than being able to sit and enjoy his daily morning, afternoon and evening naps and it made studying all the damn protection spells Jungkook wanted for the castle a hell of a lot easier. But there was one thing that threatened his new paradise, a looming cloud over his glorious fantasy, the grey cloud that he called Jeon Jungkook.

Now Jungkook was never one to be in an especially chipper mood, at least not around most people that is (you on the other hand, seemed to be a completely different story). Yoongi distinctly remembers seeing baby pictures of the lad when he was just a baby with a scowl etched permanently on his face under bushy dark brows. He often found it comical. Here was this lumbering idiot, with a silver spoon practically being shoved in his mouth, the glorious savior of the kingdom, but he was walking around as if his favorite horse had died (which it hadn’t, he checked). It was really starting to get on his nerves.

“Kid, you’ve gotta stop scaring the men. I swore I saw one of them shit themselves the other day.” Yoongi said from beside Jungkook. Currently they sat side by side in the great hall, feasting on bowls of hearty beef stew, the kind with giant chunks of meat and half haphazardly chopped vegetables covered in a thick and glorious gravy. Hmm my favorite Yoongi hummed to himself, eyes slipping shut as he drank up the delicious broth with a loud slurping sound. His spoon made a loud clanging sound against his bowl when he dropped it back down, wiping his mouth to shift his gaze back over to the scowling man to his left. “You know if I were you I would be jumping for joy. You’re filthy fucking rich, whats to be sad about huh?”

Jungkook didn’t even let out his usual grunt in response, opting to continue swirling his spoon around in his stew while glaring down at it as if it had wronged him in some way. But the sudden sound of one the knights from across the hall laughing had him snapping his head up to send a growl over to the group of men which had them instantly silencing themselves, ducking down to continue silently eating their food. Yoongi watched the exchange with amusement, “Yeah you definitely need to get laid.”

Jungkook raised his hand to swing at him to which Yoongi merely stopped with a spell, not even bothering to look at him while he took another spoonful of his food. He knew Jungkook would never try to purposefully hurt him if he knew Yoongi couldn’t protect himself, so this was just considered normal playful banter between the two men. “That’s enough, Yoongi.” He mumbled angrily, dropping his fist to bang against the table. The noise gained the attention of everyone in the dining hall, but none of them dared to turn their heads to look at the commotion, afraid the Duke would redirect his anger towards them. “I can’t help the fact that I’m so goddamn moody all the freaking time.”

“Yeah yeah yeah, you know, that's what tends to happen when you don’t get any for a while.” Yoongi sighed and leaned his hand against his hand, gazing pitifully at Jungkook. He noticed the slight twinge of confusion on Jungkooks face and decided to reiterate himself, “It’s called blue balls idiot.”

Jungkook nearly choked on his spit. Yoongi was never one to mince words and this time was no different, but still his blunt words caught him off guard. “Would you keep it down!” Jungkook seethed, whipping his head around to see if anyone had overheard the topic of their conversation. It’s not like he was scared of anyone mocking him (everyone knew better than that) but still, he didn’t need the whole castle knowing that him and his wife still hadn’t had sex yet since he’d been back.

Yes, you heard him correctly. Jungkook had been back for almost three months and you and him still hadn’t even so much as touched each other intimately. Sure they had a few passionate kisses and lust filled embraces here and there which had left your neck bruised with hickies, but outside of that, neither of you had even dared roaming a hand south of the border. He didn’t know why he hadn’t tried it, perhaps it was because he wanted to make sure you were ready this time, instead of forcing himself on you like last time. He wanted to be positive that you enjoyed yourself as much as he did, wanted to bring you to new heights that made you absolutely euphoric. But until you were comfortable with him enough to let him do so, he would stick to his hand and the dirty images that he had conjured up in his head.

“I know what blue balls are, Yoongi. But I’m perfectly fine with how mine and y/n’s relationship is going.” he mumbled, glaring at the sorcerer. “And I don’t need you meddling in my love life so why don’t you just go and frolic with that stable boy like you do and leave me be.”

Yoongi let out a noise of disagreement, throwing his hands up in annoyance, “How many times do I have to tell you, me and hoseok are not frolicking or whatever the hell you’re into-” Jungkooks foot kicked his leg under the table causing him to let out a hiss but nonetheless he continued, “You can’t keep waiting for her to make the first move. Y/n is a lady and a lady from Aster at that. Those chicks never make the first move.”

Jungkook grumbled and pushed his bowl away from him then sipped at his ale in contemplation. Perhaps Yoongi was right, maybe it was time for him to make the first move. “But how can I make sure she’s ready? What if I fuck up like last time?” he questioned, not bothering to hide the genuine concern in his voice.

The sorcerer just sighed, patting Jungkook on the shoulder, “Trust me, kid. If you fucked up, she wouldn’t still be here. And judging by the noises I heard last time, I’m pretty sure she enjoyed herself.” yoongi shuddered. No more late night walks through the hall he promised himself. “Just try to do something nice for her this time. Don’t just throw her around, take it easy. Try and lighten the mood, understand?”

Jungkook was quiet for a second, the gears turning in his head. When he finally seemed to come to a conclusion, he grunted and nodded his head. The corner of Yoongi's lips tilted up in a satisfied smile and he clapped the man on the shoulder, “Thatta boy!”

Immediately after dinner, Jungkook went to the kitchen to request the finest meats, cheeses and artfully crafted desserts they had along with the sweetest wine the chef could find. The kitchen staff were practically shaken in their boots when the Duke had first walked into the room, afraid they had done something to mess up his dinner. But when they saw how shy yet dedicated the man seemed to be (despite how much he had tried to hide it) they were more than happy to help him, promising him that they would do their best. Jungkook gave them a monotonous thanks and had practically run out the room, up the steps and to the bed chamber. He had a lot to do in a short amount of time.

“I am pooped!” You groaned, complaining to Seokjin about how much work you had done today while walking through the hard stone halls of the castle. You had spent most of today working in the library, learning and going over the finances with Seokjin so you could finally start taking on more of your ‘wifely duties’ and relieving him of some of the burden. “I’m still not sure how the conversion from pences to shillings works. Or is it shillings to pences? Ah, oh well.”

Seokjin merely rolled his eyes as he walked beside you, hands clasped behind his back in his usual gentlemanly fashion. “Yes my lady you did work very hard today. I do believe it is time for you to get a good night's rest so we can start again in the morning.” You whined at his words, stopping as you finally reached the door of your bed chambers. Seokjn just let out a small chuckle at your over the top theatrics, “Have a goodnight Y/n.”

You had returned his well wishes, sending him a beaming smile and wave as he walked back down the hallway. Once he was out of sight you turned back towards the door hand reaching out to grasp the knob. But before you got a chance to even touch the brass door handle, the mahogany swung open in front of you, your tall husband's looming figure instantly coming into sight. “Oh hello!” you greeted, surprised by the fact that he seemed to be waiting for your arrival.

Jungkook just stared at you, is he blushing? You asked yourself. The man didn’t say anything, just stepped out of the way and gestured for you to enter. You thought the whole exchange was weird and cautiously stepped around him, not expecting the sight that awaited you.

You let out a gasp, hand flying up to cover your mouth in shock as you surveyed the room. Almost every inch of the place was covered in the most beautiful and fragrant rose petals, the room lit up from the fireplace he had going across the room. Delicious food and desserts covered the tables so much of it that you had no idea how he expected you to finish it all. “Jungkook, what is all this?” you said, whipping around to look at him as he continued to stand by the entrance, stiff as a board.

He ducked his head, hands coming up to fidget as he nervously looked around the room. “Do you like it?” he asked, finally daring to meet your gaze. “I had Yoongi help me. He said you might like all this...or whatever.”

Your irises were practically lit up with admiration, eyes shining with pure undulated joy. You couldn’t believe he had done all of this for you. “Of course I like it! I mean- I love it! But what did I do to deserve this?”

Jungkook just furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, finally crossing the room to cradle your cheek and stare into your eyes affectionately. “What do you mean deserve this? I love you, y/n. I would give you the whole world if I could.”

His words had your eyes tearing up and you brought a hand up to gently hold the one he had placed on your cheek. Your head turned, placing a peck against the calloused skin of his palm as you returned his gaze, letting your eyes show just how thankful you were. “Jungkook...I love you too.” you whispered, watching as his face seemed to light up with your confession.

The rest of the night was spent dining on the luxurious food the kitchen had prepared, mouths full as you whispered sweet nothings to each other and spilled all of your darkest secrets and happiest moments. And despite the fact that the two of you still hadn’t managed to find your way to the bed or explored the rest of each other's bodies that had laid untouched by one another for quite some time, Jungkook couldn’t find himself to care. He was happy enough to be here at this moment, with you.

Blue balls be damned

#drabble game #jungkook drabble #bts drabble #jungkook x reader #jungkook fluff #bts fluff #bts x reader

[barnesandrogersfanfics]

Ocean Eyes - Part 5

To say i didn't get much sleep last night was an understatement! I had spent a couple hours on the phone to my mom telling her about Chris showing up and now knowing about Mason while having a couple glasses of wine. When i finally did go to bed i couldn't switch my brain off,  the last time i had looked at the time it was nearly 4:30am and i knew Mason would be getting up around 6! It felt like i had just closed my eyes when that darling boy of mine came jumping on the bed to wake me up.

After breakfast we both got ready and headed out to the car, i needed to go to the store to get some groceries (if i had guests coming round i should really have something to offer them).

"Oh nooo.... mom creepy Brian is coming out" Mason said quietly.

"Sshhh i told you not to call him that" i chuckled as we rushed to get into the car before Brian could reach us.

"Thats what you and aunt Hannah call him though" he rolled his eyes like i was crazy as i reversed out of the drive.

"Only when we're inside where he can't hear us. You can't say that while his around baby"

"Fine, i wont say it again" he shrugged "is my dad coming back today?"

"He said he was gonna come see you today"

"I like him, he seems cool"

I didn't know what to say to that so i just kept my eyes on the road.

"Mom, dont you like my dad?...."

"Sure i do bud, i just haven't seen your dad in a long time"

"But he makes you sad"

"Im fine Mace, don't you worry" i forced a smiled trying to put on a brave face for him.

Walking around the store i found myself picking up things i knew Chris and Scott liked.... or at least what they used to like.

I was loading the bags into the car when i got a text message.

Chris: Hey, just checking its still okay if we come over today?

Y/N: Sure

Chris: Thats good because we're at the house but your not home....

Y/N: Im at the store, be back in 5 minutes

Chris: 👍🏻

A thumbs up?? Really Chris??

I internally face palmed, he was still a dork.

I spotted Chris's car parked out on the road leaving the drive way empty, once i had parked up he then drove up and parked behind me. Mason was already out the car and running over to see Chris before i even had my belt off!

I got out and walked around to the trunk to get the groceries out.

"Morning Neighbour" i heard Brian approaching.

"God damn it" i muttered under my breath before sticking my head around to see him "hi Brian"

"You need a hand with those bags Y/N?"

"No thanks i'm good, got plenty of help with these two" i threw a thumb back pointing towards Chris & Scott.

"You sure? i don't mind helping you out"

"Its fine, we've got it" Chris said coming to a stop beside me with Scott and Mason either side of him, he reached in and easily scooped up two bags, Scott grabbing the another.

"We're all good, thanks for the offer though"

"Anytime, you know where i am" he smiled and walked back to his house stopping a few times to look back.

"Urghh" i shivered "guy gives me the creeps" i muttered quietly as i shut the trunk and led the way up to the house.

"Is he always like that?" Scott asked his eyes going comically wide at the thought.

"Yeah. He always appears when we're leaving the house or getting back...."

"Thats a little weird"

"Im sure he's harmless...." i shrugged. Chris was being unusually quiet, I didn't ask him what his problem was.

"Mom and aunt Hannah call him creepy Brian but its a secret" Mason said quietly to Chris and Scott even though we were now safely inside.

"Mace, stop it" i laughed shaking my head.

"He can't hear me mom its fine"

"Honestly kid...."

"Wonder where he gets it from huh?" Scott chuckled at me.

"Definitely his dad" i rolled my eyes "i love him more than life itself but he's a pain my ass sometimes" i muttered quietly so Mason couldn't hear.

"Sounds just like Chris" Scott laughed playfully nudging my shoulder with his.

"I heard that!" Chris added just making Scott laugh louder.

I made some sandwiches for lunch and grabbed some drinks taking them all out into the garden where Chris and Scott were kicking a ball around with Mason.

"Foods ready guys" i called out to them once everything was laid out.

"Can i sit next to dad?" Mason asked running over.

"Sure bud, Scott looks like you stuck with me" i shrugged switching their plates around.

"Fine by me sweetheart, id rather sit next to you anyway"

"At least someone wants to sit with me" i joked sticking my tongue out at Mason making him giggle.

"Hey Y/N..?" I heard Brian call from behind me, i sighed closing my eyes before turning around to see him looking over the fence at us.

"Hey Brian, everything okay?"

"Oh yeah! I just wanted to remind you about the BBQ, your friends are more than welcome to join us too"

"Thanks for the invite Brian but i think we're just gonna have a quiet family lunch"

"Okay well if y'all change your mind just come on over"

"Will do" i forced a smiled and turned back around.

"Has he gone?" I whispered to Chris who had the clear view of next door.

"Yeah" he nodded "that guy needs to take a hint".

"I don't think he knows how to" i shook my head before taking a bite of my sandwich.

"Maybe you should give him a shot" Scott teased wiggling his eyebrows.

"No!" Both Chris and I said at the same time.

"Relax i was joking" Scott laughed before shooting Chris a look. Chris looked like he was about say something but his cell phone ringing his pocket drew his attention.

"Sorry i need to take this" he said getting up from the table "hey Lindsey" i heard him say as he walked further down the yard for some privacy.

"Lindsey? That the girlfriend?" I asked Scott quietly, he nodded giving me a sad smile "its fine, i just wondered"

"I don't think it'll last personally"

"He obviously feels differently if he's now wanting that divorce"

"Thats because he's an idiot"

"Not gonna argue with you on that....."

"So what about you? Anyone special in your life Y/N?"

"Yeah Mason" i scoffed "i don't have time for dating. Being a single parent is tough Scott.... most guys run a mile when they hear you have a kid..."

"But you must have dated a bit?"

"Not really" i shook my head feeling my face burn in embarrassment.

"Y/N, there has been someone since my brother right?"

I looked up at Scott slowly shaking my head "no. I've been on a couple dinner dates Hannah set me up on but nothing ever came of it" i shrugged "its fine".

"Jesus woman how long has it been....like 7 years??" He asked looking surprised.

"Something like that" i mumbled picking up my glass of water, my throat suddenly bone dry.

"Girl that is some dry spell, please tell me you at least have a vibrator!" He said quietly so Mason wouldn't hear. I choked on the water that i was swallowing and started coughing before it turned to laugher.

"God i've missed you Scott" i smiled at him.

"I've missed you too! But that doesn't answer my question".

"Whats so funny?" Chris asked as he rejoined us.

"Just Scott being Scott" i rolled my eyes.

"Im finished mom can we go play football again now?" Mason asked looking hopeful.

"In a little bit bud, your dad and Scott are still eating".

Hannah and Lucas turned up unannounced not long after lunch was finished and I was grateful for the distraction. Lucas quickly joined in with Mason, Chris and Scott who were kicking the ball around again while Hannah poured us both a glass of wine.

"So hows it been having him around again?" She asked looking over at Chris.

"Weird. But Mason loves it"

"Your handling it better than i would be!"

"Mason deserves to know his dad, Chris has already been warned that i'll kill him if he does anything to upset him"

"I don't doubt that for a second" she laughed refilling our glasses.

"So..... Friday? I was thinking we start small just hitting some bars then we can end the night at 'Ruby's' for some dancing. I know you need to be wasted before you even consider dancing"

"Han i said id go out for a few drinks not an all nighter!"

"Oh come on! You haven't had a good night out in forever babe, we'll find us some cute guys...."

"Hannah...." i groaned closing my eyes.

"Ooh i heard you mention cute guys" Scott sat down looking very interested in our conversation.

"Im trying to talk Y/N into finding a cute guy to give her some much needed attention when we go out Friday" Hannah told Scott making me roll my eyes.

"Id listen to Hannah, you are in some serious need of male attention"

"But i don't just hook up with strangers guys.... we've talked about this!"

"Well maybe you should! Im just saying you deserve to find someone who makes you happy Y/N. Just because your a mom now doesn't mean you can't find love" Hannah said reaching over taking my hand with a smile. She had a point.... i couldn't sit around waiting for a man who had made his feelings perfectly clear 7 years ago. A man who was in a serious relationship..... maybe it was time to try and move on from him.

"Can i please come with you? I could use a night out" Scott asked looking hopeful.

"Sure, its been a while since you joined us on a night out Scotty" i smiled at him.

"You can help me find this one a man while your at it" Hannah smirked and shared a look with Scott that spelt nothing but trouble.

Everything taglist: @jesseswartzwelder @dumblani @barnesandrogersworld @patzammit @rynabarnesrogers-reading @rainbowkisses31 @rororo06 @supernaturalwintersoldier

Ocean eyes: @supraveng @michelehansel @denisemarieangelina @mrsjeffwittek @mery-be @marvelfansworld @cmalass @capstopavenger @fallenoutofrose @kelbabyblue @biebsmylife95 @loser-alert @traceyaudette @w3lissax @jennmurawski13 @ford66steal @saiyanprincessswanie

#chris evans #reader insert #steve rogers #steve x reader #chris evans x reader #ocean eyes

[ditto]

wi rehab week 3 review: the Week™. i KNOW this post is long but god please read about my misfortune if yall want a Saga

current status on raccoons: clement

number of monster energy drinks consumed: 2

number of buns directly killed: 1

Days Since Last Diarrhead on: 1

Baby Raccoon Count: 150ish? probably 130 that need to be bottle fed 

new tasks performed:

baby opossum cage maintenance

baby waterfowl cage maintenance

SQ fluid administration on raccoons

SQ vaccine administration on raccoons

What To Do When Your Tire Goes Flat 101

oral medication administration on possums

CHRONOLOGICAL TALE OF MISFORTUNE: i’m not going to do this regularly but the sheer amount of bad shit that happened this week was COMICAL so let me break down everything that happened to me this work week

MONDAY 6/8

got diarrhead on during 6am raccoon feeding

straight up killed a baby rabbit during bun feeding. they stress real easily and i’m bad at tubing so i had him out for a while and he just fuckin. died. from stress. in my hands. directly because of me being bad at my job. so you know that was uhhhhhhhhhhhhh

shovelled out wet dirty woodchips out of a walk-in enclosure with like 8 goslings using a snowshovel w/ another baby intern. you can’t put a ton of woodchips into one trash bag so we had to keep changing out the trash bag and it was like 92 degrees out and we were both wearing cloth masks and on god i really thought we were gonna die in there

during the pm feeding i get peed on by the EXACT SAME RACCOON that diarrhead on me during the am feeding 

TUESDAY 6/9: the Day(tm)

i have a therapy appointment scheduled at 2pm. my shift is 6am-2pm. i’ll need to leave at 1:30pm to get to it. i tell my supervisors this. it’s chill. i still feel bad about it, because i have anxiety.

right off the bat, i get scolded by my Actual Boss for doing something i watched one of the supervising interns do 

6am raccoon feeding: get diarrhead on again. 

a rac RIPS the fucking nipple off of the baby bottle we’re feeding them with and formula gets fucking everywhere. i say out loud at this moment “IM HAVING A GREAT WEEK”. one of my supervising interns feels bad for me and keeps trying to cheer me up throughout the day. she does make me feel better.

i get dishes which is fine bc i dont mind dishes for real but my hands turn into sandpaper the day after doing dishes for 2 hours so this is more :| than :/. i make jokes about how bad my week is going. the mood is, generally, looking up.

next raccoon feeding is scheduled for noon. raccoons are housed in a separate building, so it’s about a 5 minute drive to get there from the main area. we get ready to leave around 1pm. recap: i need to leave at 1:30pm for a therapy appointment. i’m planning on driving my own car down there so i can do this. it’s chill.

on my way down there, i start hearing the most godawful screeching of metal. i am, quote, “like uhhh.” when i open the gate to turn onto the highway, i stick my head out the window to look

my tire is flat.

i have a flat tire.

my fucking tire is FLAT dude.

>mfw

>

>

pull over after gate

tell the staff member following me “hey i have a flat tire so im probably not going to make it down to feed today” and shes like flkdjsalfksd okay

call the ONE supervising intern whose number i have, who is the one who heard me say IM HAVING A GREAT WEEK, like GUESS WHICH BITCH HAS A FLAT TIRE LMFAOOOOOOO. just making that one call was the funniest fucking thing that’s ever happened in my entire life

to quote her verbatim: “i guess you are having a bad week”

call my dad, who as it turns out was actively teaching a class when i called, so i am well and truly facked and am DEFINITELY not making this therapy appointment

ok. take a deep breath. check my car. i have a donut in my car. i have not changed a tire in three years, and have never changed one in the scenario of I Have A Flat Tire. fack. relay this to the one supervising intern whos number i know (i’m going to call her supervising intern 1 going forward here). ask her if anyone knows how to change a tire. 

supervising intern 1 calls back. apparently there’s a guy who lives on the same property we’re on named donnie. donnie is a maintenance worker who helps out a lot around the rehab place. donnie can help me change my tire. apparently someone currently down feeding raccoons is going to come pick me up and bring me over there so i can continue to feed raccoons until donnie can fix my tire. 

get call from supervising intern 2, whose number i did not have, apparently it got relayed. i ask her if anyone down there can change a tire. she says she can change a tire. she will help me change my tire she finishes on raccoon feeding. ok sounds good. someone is still going to come pick me up.

get call back 10 minutes later. apparently donnie is in the middle of a field right now and it is unlikely that he can fix my tire. someone is still going to come get me to feed raccoons, maybe. i tell her supervising intern 2 can help me change my tire after we finish our shift. she says thats fine. ok cool sick.

try to call therapist. i have no signal. send email which is, verbatim: “Hey! I'm currently on the the side of of the the road in [TOWN 30 MILES AWAY] with a flat tire, so I'm not going to make our appointment today. If we could reschedule for sometime soon, that would be great.” signal is bad, so this ends up being sent at 3pm.

(ALSO I LEARNED ABOUT THIS TODAY BUT APPARENTLY IN THE TIMELINE THERE’S A FIGHT HERE BETWEEN SUPERVISING INTERNS 1 AND 2 OVER HOW THE SITUATION IS PLAYING OUT WHICH IS EQUAL PARTS HILARIOUS AND “MAKES ME FEEL BAD”)

one of the other baby interns comes to pick me up and bring me down to racs. i walk in like AYYYYYYY and start feeding raccoons.

i get diarrhead on again.

i get diarrhead on again again. 

apparently 3 in one day is a record.

my shift is supposed to end at 2pm. we usually end up staying until 2:15-2:30ish, because that’s usually when the other team gets down here. since supervising intern 2 is currently my savior, she is going to drive me back over when the other team gets here and she leaves. other baby interns leave at 2:15ish, i think. 

the other team is, apparently, running late. they get here at 3pm.

supervising intern 2 drives me back over at 3pm. we get to my car.

the donut is on.

the tire is in the trunk.

apparently donnie was, in fact, able to come change my tire. no one told me this. 

im like ok. this is fine. i tell supervising intern 2 thank u for my life. i leave.

my donut has a 50mph max speed limit. i tell google maps to avoid highways on my way home. this turns my 30 minute drive home into a 50 minute one, and still ends up with me being terrifyingly tailgated by trucks for going 10 miles under the speed limit. i almost, but do not, run out of gas on the way home.

i get home around 4:10pm. i call the auto shop across the street from me and tell them i have a flat tire, but i need the car by 6am tomorrow. do they think they can have it fixed by then. they tell me to bring it over and they’ll let me know.

i bring the car over. i give them my keys. i say thank you and leave.

i realize that my garage door opener is in my car, which is now locked. i have no other way into the house, because our garage door keypad has been broken for 2 years. the sliding glass door in the backyard is locked.

i walk back into the auto shop 5 minutes later and ask in the Polite But Obviously Having A Day tone if i can have my keys back so i can get it. i get my garage door opener out of my car. i give the keys back.

i enter my home. i lay spread-eagled on my bed for one hour.

auto place calls back and tells me they fixed the tire. im like did you replace it or did u fix it. theyre like we fixed it come on over. i almost cry on the phone.

go back over. guy is like “ya u ran over a screw LOL”. gives me my keys back. i wait to pay

after a bit hes like “you dont have to pay anything. this is on the house.”

almost cry

thank him

get car

go home

eat

shower

go to bed at 8pm 

WEDNESDAY (6/10)

everyone at work is immediately like AYYY and in general just very nice about the whole thing. i thank everyone involved for helping. its chill

dont get diarrhead on this feeding but i do get bit for like NO got dam reason what the fack

next up is cleaning juvenile cages and i swear to god i get the nastiest. fucking. raccoon cage i have ever seen in my entire life. there was an...i wanna say eigth-of-an-inch thick layer of raccoon diarrhea across this 2 foot x 4 foot cage

like on GOD the smell was so bad i was gagging through a goddamn cloth mask just. oh my god. i had to just go stand outside and stare into the abyss afterwards for a few minutes it was so NASTY IT WAS SO NASTY

mercifully, i am spared from further misfortune for the rest of the day. i come home. i am so tired.

WAIT I HAVE TO MENTION THAT SUPERVISING INTERN 1 HAD SUCH BAD LUCK FEEDING RABBITS TODAY SO LIKE...my luck is contagious 

notes and observations

anyone who is anti-euthanasia in animal shelters and any other large-scale animal welfare places in general can absolutely suck my dick

most other baby animals will generally have various stages of “baby x”, but opossums look like Adults Except Tiny from a very early age. they have stolen my heart.

birds are poopy little creatures

#summer2020 #1.7k words #animal death #unsanitary

[butchdaydreams]

1-99 :)

how tall are you?- I’m 5′6″ so I’m pretty average

what is your body type?- My body type is also pretty average I guess, I dont know a whole lot about body types

what is your favorite part about your body?- I have really pretty eyes and my smile is kinda lopsided but I like it all the same

is your current hair color your natural hair color?- Yes it is!

are you more outgoing or more shy?- I am very shy but I can learn to trust people

are you more femme or butch?- Well femme and butch aren’t a scale where you can be “more” of one or another. You either are one or you aren’t and thats all there is to it. But I’m a butch

are you tol or smol?- I’m smol at heart

wine mom or vodka aunt?- Neither, alcohol will kill me

weird habit?- I crack just about every joint in my body so I always sound like a human rice crispy treat

favorite meme?- Anything with dogs in it or those comic sans valentines sent at weird times of the year

do you sing in the shower?- I used to but I use a public shower now and I’ve fallen out of the habit

ever used a bow and arrow?- Yes, and I’m pretty good at it too

are/were you a theatre kid?- I was back in the day but I dropped it in high school so I could do orchestra and sports instead 

have you ever seen a broadway musical?- Yes, the last one I was was 4 or so years ago

do you think musicals are cheesy?- I think they can be but I don’t think that makes them bad

have you ever been a part of a protest or a march?-I’ve gone to a couple because I’ve always lived near cities so they are pretty easy to get to

favorite Cards Against Humanity Card?- Bees?

last movie you watched?-This really weird gay movie on netflix, I’m not even sure what it was about even though I just finished it like 20 minutes ago

behind the camera or in front of it?- Behind it all the way

favorite tv show?- Primeval

meaning behind your url- I’m a butch and I am all of your daydreams

reason you joined tumblr- I was a depressed kid 7 years ago who needed somewhere to go, and this is where I ended up

who’s your closest tumblr friend?- @kinkyfemmeprincess at the moment, but I dont think she knows it

what’s something most people love that you hate?- I eat an obscene amount of pickles on a daily basis

have you ever taken narcotics?- Yes and I’ve hated it every time

have you had sex?- Yes I have and thats where that ends

have you ever gotten caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?- I don’t think so, or if I have I’ve always been able to talk my way out of it

worst/funniest lie you’ve ever told?- I try not to lie so nothing really comes to mind

describe your passion without mentioning it.- They are small and cute and not real but also could kill you with a single glance most of the time

describe your best friend.- He’s smaller than I am so I have to protect him, and we love to antagonize one another but its the fun kind of antagonizing 

give us one thing about you that no one knows.-I run this blog because I am lonely and need that sweet sweet validation

how do you feel right now?- Kinda sad because I was way more into a girl than she was into me and now its over and I miss her

what is your biggest fear?- Being left behind or forgotten by those I care about

what’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?- Footloose

what is the best decision you’ve made in your life so far?- I think going to school was a good choice because every good thing that has happened to me in the last three years has come from that choice

have you ever tried your hardest and then been disappointed in the end?- Yeah, girls man. Sometimes you just can’t win

something you fantasize about.- I really want to own one of those little mini cows with the curly hair 

last time you cried and why- Last night as I had my final conversation with that girl I mentioned earlier

what was the last thing that made you laugh?- I went fossil hunting today and my friend fell on her butt in a creek

do you really, truly miss someone right now?- Yeah, yeah I do

who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?- I think the boy I mentioned earlier, he is a good listener even if he can’t fix the problems

the last time you felt broken?- Whenever someone leaves me

are you starting to realize anything?- That maybe I expect too much from people and I need to learn to just accept what I’m given or I will be very lonely

are you more dominant or more submissive?- I’m dominant in the way that I am strictly a top but submissive in that I will do exactly what you ask me to because I want to see you happy

i’ll only date you if _____. (fill in the blank)- You are willing to try and show me that you love and care for me

do you prefer to date people the same age as you, younger, or older?- I like people who aren’t more than two years older or younger than me

describe the person you’re in love with/have a crush on in great detail.- I’ve never met them in person, but for a while she was the sweetest person I knew. She would talk to me and make me feel loved and special, but she lost interest as people do and it’s over now

do you have any kinks?- I love teasing and edging and overstimulation

first thing you notice in a person?- Their eyes, I love eyes 

how can someone win your heart?- Talk to me, listen to me, and let me know that you care about me

been rejected by a crush?- More times than I can count. One time I told a girl I liked her and she responded by saying that she didn’t like me back and was leaving the country for four years

have you ever had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back?- Again, more times than I could count

would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?- No, because I want to respect her boundaries 

is trust a big issue for you?- Yes, it is hard for me to trust people and each time it is broken it gets a little harder

did you hang out with the person you like recently?- No, I didn’t get to meet her in person

is confidence cute?- Oh yes!

what would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy?- I don’t say anything, I let it happen and walk away because who am I to take that away from them

would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?- No, because I think  that laughing around another person is a huge part of a relationship

does the person you have feelings for right now know you do?- Yes she does but that’s how it goes

ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush?- I trip over things a lot, and I mix up my words and drop things. I’m an all around mess when I like someone

do you want to get married?- I would love to, it is a dream of mine. I know this generation is trying to do away with marriage, but I like the idea a lot

worst thing you’ve ever done?- My ex wound up in the hospital for four days after she tried to kill herself when I broke up with her. She told me she would do it if we ever broke up months before we did, but I did it anyway knowing she would do it

three things that turn you on.- Looking at me with that determined look and knowing that you are getting what you want from me, trying to turn me on because you want me, and when all else fails, telling me that you are wet because you want me

who do you hate?- I don’t think I hate anyone. It is hard to make me mad and I am very forgiving

favorite term of endearment?- Stick the word “my” in front of any pet name and I will melt

who was your celebrity/fictional gay awakening?- When Hayley Kiyoko played Velma in that live action scooby doo movie

intimidating girls or kind girls?- Kindness is the way to my heart

what do you look for in a possible partner?- I look for someone who I could trust to be able to help me look after any kids we had together with out holding any resentment if we were to ever get divorced

do you tend to like more masculine, feminine, or androgynous girls?- I like people on the feminine or androgynous side of things

are you good at flirting?- I don’t think so but I also know that some people find that to be endearing 

who was the first person you came out to?- My friend Emily, I wanted advice on asking a girl to prom and then more advice on how to get over the rejection 

do you have any friends who are wlw?- Most of my friends are gay in some way because straight people are stupid

is your crush wlw?- Yes

last person to make you reconsider your sexuality?- No one, I am a die hard lesbian and would not touch a man with a 12 foot pole even if I was paid

write a short love poem to your crush/self? Roses are red/ violets are blue/ if you don’t talk to me/ then I wont put in the effort for you

do you fall in love easily?- Far, far too easily

is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?- The whole situation with my ex

are you good at hiding your feelings?- I’d say so. People think they can tell, but thats when I’m putting on the act of hiding my feelings while still hoping that they notice

are you a forgiving person?- I am a very forgiving person and it has gotten me into trouble more than once

what is your “type?”- Soft, caring, enthusiastic girls

fall asleep in her arms or rub her back until she falls asleep in yours?- I typically hold her, but every once in a while even a butch needs to be held

tall girls or short girls?- I’m 5′6″, so I can appreciate both girls who are taller and shorter. I think I would go with shorter

hugs or kisses?- Kisses!!! Kiss me!!!! Please!!!

twirl her around or get twirled?- I get buff so I can pick up my wife one day

tummy kisses or thigh kisses?- Thighs

hairline kisses or neck kisses?-Neck

play with her hair or stroke her tummy?- Play with her hair because tummies are often ticklish 

making out or soft kisses?- Soft kisses that lead to making out

hugs around the neck or hugs around the waist?- Also neck

how confident are you in your sexuality?- I am confident that I am a lesbian, but not to confident to proclaim it to the homophobic town I live in 

when you like someone do you blush or get butterflies in your stomach?- Oof, I get both. So much it feels like I can’t breathe sometimes

have you ever liked a friend as more than a friend? did you tell them?- I believe in being honest, so I have told everyone that I have liked that I am into them

how old were you when you realized you were into girls?- 7th grade, but I denied it to myself until 10th grade

most embarrassing thing you’ve done in front of a cute girl?- I walk into a lot of things while staring at girls or my phone screen

do you have a favorite lesbian ship? is it canon?- This is lame, but Korra and Asami from the Avatar series

what is the most aggravating thing someone has said to you about your sexuality?- Anything that even implies that I should give men a shot or be more open to men

when was the last time a girl made your heart flutter?- Just a couple of days ago, before you stopped talking to me

what is love to you?- Love its more than that feeling of butterflies. It’s seeing when they are struggling, and its helping them even when you are struggling too. Its a choice you make to stay faithful and remember them, it’s the choice you make to go just a little bit out of your way to make their life better. It’s choosing to loose an argument where you can prove that you are right with sources because you hate seeing them mad. Love is how you care for someone even when it hurts. Love is putting them first in everything you do

#ask

[warmau]

{Special} College!AU Dowoon

major: character animation

minor: film 

clubs: frequents any club he finds interesting, but is never a permanent member. has done everything from surfing club to painting club to opera club

sports: did freshman soccer and then schoolwork took over his life LOL

dowoon is super chill - like he’s never ,,,, stressing out or getting super passionate about anything

he always has the same “life is good” expression on his handsome face and it makes people feel really comfortable around him

because he doesn’t seem like the judgmental or fake type

he doesn’t even have to try to make friends,,,,people gravitate toward him like he’s got some calm magnetic field

jae doesn’t get it - he thinks dowoon can be a real little shit sometimes (but jae thinks this about EVERYONE so,,,,)

while wonpil on the other hand flat out ADORES dowoon

nudges past youngk to sit next to dowoon when they’re eating lunch or running halfway across the quad just to say hi to him

wonpil just points at him like “my tall son”

and dowoon is like “im not your son, but do whatever makes you happy hyung”

the animation majors nicknamed dowoon the koala because he kind of does everything pretty leisurely, but at the same time look serene as hell

also whenever someone draws a koala they give it that calm look on its face,,,,,much like the always calm look on dowoons face

dowoon thinks its cute

but wonpil argues that dowoon is WAY more of a sloth than he is a koala

he choose character animation because he likes cartoons,,,,especially really silly cartoons

youngk or sungjin are always reading those dramatic webtoons or whatever but dowoon enjoys comic strips for quick, funny jokes

and he was always way more of a dreamer than a devoted student,,,doodling cute characters in the margins of his notes rather than jotting down his homework

traditional art like painting and sculpting were never in his interest either 

quite honestly he’d snooze whenever his class had to take trips to museums or when he had to take the class on human anatomy sketching

thankfully people liked him enough to nudge him awake when the teacher was looking LOL

he added film as a minor only because he’s interested in story boarding - a lot of his homework is actually done by wonpil and youngk who have vast opinions on cinema

while dowoon is like “uhuh, mhmm, oh ok i should right that in my essay? oh,,,,wait,,,you want to write my essay for me? i mean,,,well only if you want to,,,,”

is the drummer of night6 and decorated the back of his kit with small drawings

everytime someone points them out dowoon is like “i dont know how they got there ^_^”

totally a college student who owns a mickie mouse sweatshirt

totally owns mickie mouse pajamas that he wore to seminar once

messy haired boy with an even messier backpack

“hey,,,prof,,,i left my sketchbook back at the dorm!”

“did you bring anything to class dowoon?”

“,,,,,,,, my sticks,,,,,for drumming?”

 you see what i mean 

but it’s like lovable he’s like messy, dorky, and loveable

because he might not get his work in on time,,,,but he sure as hell gets his work in

and the glints of passion you can see on dowoon are secluded in his dorm room when he’s drawing 

or when he’s on stage drumming 

got a love letter from a fan once at a concert and wonpil was like ooooo romance~ love~ whats it say~ 

and dowoon was like

“it says i remind them of a bean sprout because im getting skinny and i shouldnt lose so much weight”

wonpil: “THATS touchig they care about your hea-”

dowoon: “THERES A DISCOUNT TO A CHICKEN PLACE IN HERE WOOOOOOOOO”

you know the rest of his friends are all like,,,,thinking a little about romance and love - wonpil is literally bursting with it while jae acts like he doesn’t care but lowkey writes all their songs about being lonely

youngk and sungjin too,,,,

but dowoon seems to think of romance as the last thing he’d ever need in his life right now

when people ask about relationships he assumes they’re asking about his friendships

and whenever someone shows interest dowoon reciprocates with absolute obliviousness

he’s just a fun-loving dude who likes to doodle and take naps in the library,,,,,,

that’s all he needs

and those naps in the library are how you meet dowoon

you work in the library, mostly just re-shelving and helping students find textbooks on reserve 

you envy the people who got desk jobs checking out books or helping with laptops,,,,,but at the same time you don’t mind the walking around 

it helps clear your mind

and one afternoon,,,,you were stuck in the least visited section of the library

there were new books to shelve so you were trying to figure out where they belonged when your foot caught on something 

and you almost ended up tumbling over whatever it was,,,,,,stopping yourself from face planting into the floor just in the nick of time

flipping over, you expected to see - a book,,,,a water bottle,,,someones backpack or something

but instead you saw a person

a boy,,,,,,with his legs stretched out and his head leaned back against the shelf

dead asleep

after a moment,,,you clear your throat and the boy jolts a bit

only to rub his sleepy eyes and give you a half smile

“is the library closing?”

he asks with a yawn

you deadpan “no, but you’re also not allowed to sleep in the bookshelf aisles.”

he doesn’t even seem to budge in response,,,,just stares at you with pool of dark brown

“oh”

oh????? is that all he has to say????

“and i just tripped over you, so you can see how it’d be a hazard-”

he slowly gets up, moving one limb at a time before he extends his hand to you

“sorry,,,,,,,,,ill help you up.”

you stare at his outstretched hand,,,but narrow your eyes and get up without his help

dusting off your shirt you give him a glare,,,,,to which he responds with the same dreamy half smile

“you can sleep in the student lounge on the second floor.”

with that you turn, taking your cart of books with you to continue your job

out of the corner of your eye you see the boy scratch the side of his head,,,,blink without thought at the things around him and then make his way out to of the aisle

you untense your shoulders,,,,,sighing

maybe you were too harsh or whatever,,,,but rules are rules and if anyone saw you letting him get away with it - it’d be your job on the line

although maybe you could have been less cold,,,,,

you shrug it off, not interested anymore in a student who you don’t even recognize as you continue working

you make your way over to the next aisle and just as you’re about to pluck a book of the cart you look down and 

there’s the same boy

sleeping

you straighten up,,,,staring at the top of his messy dark hair

you clear your throat,,,,but he doesn’t wake up

so you squat down beside him and use your index finger to poke him awake

he does the same little jolt and then turns to you

“hey”

“what did i say about sleeping in the aisles?”

he shrugs, giving the same goofy look to you

“it’s a hazard?”

you resist the urge to go “no shit” and instead motion for him to get up 

he does as told,,,,but gives you another half tired smile

“would it be cool if i went back to the aisle you finished shelving? i wont be a bother-”

“no”

he huffs, but the smile never leaves his face

he doesn’t seem fazed by your demands,,,,nor does he seem like he’s going to follow the rules

so you personally walk with him to the staircase and tell him again that the student lounge is free

he thanks you,,,,,,,,which makes you feel a little weird,,,,,and then disappears

you think about it for a bit,,,,,he looks like a slacker - or maybe he’s just the skipping class type

either way,,,,,,you hope you won’t find him in the next aisle

you dont,,,,,thankfully but when you arrive for your shift a couple of days later

you’re back in the same lonely part of the library

and just as you’re about to wheel your cart of books ,,,,, guess who you see

except this time,,,,he’s got a book over his face - as if he dropped it there right as he closed his eyes to sleep

you look at him,,,,crossing your arms

beside him is his open backpack,,,the contents threatening to spill out 

his hair is a little messy and peaks out from the book on his face and his pull over hoodie is thrown over his lap like some tiny blanket

you think for a moment that he must have been napping here for a while when you finally decide to lean over and poke him awake again

the books slides off his face and into his lap with a thump

he blink, coming to and then looks over at you

“oh,,,,,,,hey.”

he grins, you take note of his deep voice still laced with sleepyness

“didn’t i tell you a couple of days ago-”

he picks up the book and waves it

“i wasn’t sleeping,,,,i just,,,,dozed off while reading. i can read in the aisles right? that’s not a hazard?”

he innocently asks as you narrow your eyes

“listen,,,,,,i know you were sleeping”

he shrugs his shoulders up and down

“why cant you find somewhere else to take naps-”

you stutter over your sentence,,,,not sure even what this guys name is

“im dowoon, character design major.”

he puts his hand out for you to shake it and you stare at it

“ok, dowoon. you need to find other nap spots.”

he shuffles his hand around his bag and pulls out a tattered looking notebook

“i wont nap, i promise. ill just do some work and then i can stay, right?”

he flips it open to a random page where you can see multiple sketches and notes of different characters

technically,,,,students CAN study in the aisles of the library,,,,,there’s no rule against that

so you nod, going back to your cart of books

dowoon twirls a pencil between his fingers as if to send you off and then looks back down at his notebook

you go about your work,,,,but somewhere in the middle you get the nagging feeling to go check if dowoon really is working or did he rally go to sleep

so,,,,,,,you make your way down the shelves until you reach the one dowoon is in

and to your surprise he isn’t sleeping,,,,he’s actually drawing

and before you can make your quiet escape,,,,,he looks up and smiles

“wanna see what ive done so far?”

you feel a little embarrassed that you were caught,,,,but you nod and dowoon beckons you over

you sit down beside him and he shows you the new page of sketches he’s started

you stare down at one of them, it’s a bookshelf that seems to have come to life and beside it is a character

who looks familiar,,,,,

“that ones based on you,,,,,,i tend to be inspired by those around me.” dowoon says absentmindenly

and you look closer,,,,,shocked that even in such a small cartoonish drawing - there are details about it that do resemble you

you’ve only seen dowoon a couple of times but you’re shocked that he could remember just how you looked and compress it into such a cute drawing

you look up at him and he pushes the pencil behind his ear,,,seemingly content with what he’s gotten done

“well,,,,,as long as you’re not sleeping.”

dowoon nods, taking his book back “nope, plus i have class. see you around.”

he slips it into his bag before getting up and waving as he disappears out of the shelves

you sit there,,,,still thinking about the drawing,,,,,,and how maybe you had misconceptions about him afterall

dowoon does show up to the library again and again

but this time he doesn’t nap,,,,,he actually just spends time drawing 

which you actually come to really enjoy

he’s got such a simple, but fun style and he’s always willing to show you new sketches

and instead of him being that student who might get you in trouble,,he becomes someone you really look forward to seeing on your job

and after a bit of time,,,,you think dowoon feels the same way

just from how excitable he gets when you ask to see something and the cute smile he gives you when you push the cart past the aisle he’s in

in one way or another - you feel connected to dowoon,,,,you guys up in this section of the library,,,,,,,just the two of you

plus,,,,,,,,when you catch him sleeping again you let it slide - maybe because you’re sorta friends now

but also because you notice just how handsome he is when he’s asleep, pretty long eyelashes resting on the skin of his cheeks and the slightly curled dark hair that falls a bit into his eyes when he tips his head forward

but then,,,,,,,you come to work one day and dowoon is sitting in the aisle,,,,,,with someone else

they’re flipping through his notebook, giggling and pressing their shoulder against dowoon’s

you don’t know why,,,,but it makes you feel a bit ,, out of place

dowoon looks up just as you try to escape and calls you over

“i drew some more stuff for my class final, that character you like is in-”

you give a curt nod,,,,,,,and dowoon seems to falter when you turn away and shove your cart out of the aisle

but,,,,,,,he doesn’t follow you or anything

and when you find yourself aggravated,,,re-shelving books with way too much force then intentional

you ask,,,,,,,,what are you so upset over?

it’s probably a classmate,,,or a friend,,,,,,or a significant other

the thought of dowoon being with someone isn’t that baffling when he’s got this odd, calming charm to him

with a great face as an addition

but yet when you go up there the next day and dowoon is alone,,,,even then you don’t feel the urge to talk to him

but,,,,cold-shouldering dowoon is hard

not because you feel bad but because,,,,,after you ignore him for a whole week he just,,,,doesn’t show up anymore

and you think well whatever, right? now he’s gone and it’s not like you two bonded deeply or anything

but instead of dowoon in the aisle,,,,you find,,,,,,,,,,,

“im wonpil, you must be the one we’ve been hearing about.”

you look at the guy in front of you,,,,he’s definitely shorter than dowoon and his eyes have a different passion about them

“um,,,,im not sure what you mean?”

wonpil throws his hands up in the air and goes “dowoon! he hasn’t stopped talking about how he made one of the librarians mad! he’s all mopey about it too!”

you hush wonpil, his voice getting louder and remind him that this is still a library

and if anything you aren’t mad at dowoon,,,,you just had to work - this is your job after all

but wonpil doesn’t falter

even in a whispering tone, you can tell he’s still strung up about this

“WELL dowoon thinks you are mad! and believe me, dowoon doesn’t much care about how people feel about it him so you must mean something special.”

you open your mouth to argue but wonpil shakes his head

“no no you don’t GET IT- sorry indoor voice right,,,,,but dowoon has never shown an inkling of interest in anyone before,,,,,you’re,,,,,,you’re the first person he’s ever based a character on too didn’t-”

you pull back a bit, surprised “but,,,he told me he’s inspired by those around him?”

wonpil shakes his head, “inspired sure - but he specifically said he created that little cartoon to see if you’d like it. dowoon draws for himself, i cant even BEG him to make a little doodle for me but for you he’s-”

wonpil is talking a mile a minute and tbh most of it is going over your head at this point

because you don’t understand,,,,,,,you thought you were just another person to dowoon

just that librarian who nagged him before for sleeping in the aisles - but,,,,but now all of a sudden this random friend of dowoons is telling you ,,,,you’re something more??

“please just assure me you’re not mad at him.”

“im not,,,,,” you clutch your books closer to your chest and wonpil sighs

“ok. good. ill tell him and hopefully this is the beginning of something beautiful. gosh i just want dowoon to be in LOVE ALREADY”

you hush him and wonpil quiets down as he pulls his phone out and exits the aisle

you stand there for a bit,,,,,,,,but then turn to ask what the heck wonpil means by ‘love’ but,,,he’s gone

and although the whole thing stays on your mind,,,,work takes all of your attention

and when your shift at the library ends, you’re walking back to the main building of the college to get some late night studying done

when you hear someone call your name

you turn to see dowoon 

he looks like he’s just rolled out of bed,,,,wearing baggy overalls over a shirt you’re sure he’s owned for the better part of his life

he’s also got house slippers on which confuses you,,,,,,,did he like,,,,,run here in those?

“wonpil said he talked to you,,” dowoon starts

you nod slowly

“sorry he’s such a weirdo,,,he acts like my mom sometimes and i dont get it ,,,,”

you look down and wait for dowoon to get to the point - the point as to why he’s here after your shift in his damn pajamas for all you know

“he said you’re not mad at me,,,,so i hope i can ask you this and it’s ok,,,,,,,,,do you have time this weekend?”

“why?”

“the animation major is having a film festival thing and i wondered if you’d want to see mine,,,it’s really short like,,,,a minute and a half but y-you’re in it so,,,,”

the shock must be apparent on your face because dowoon is like oh but you don’t have to-

but you agree

you tell dowoon to tell you when and where and you’ll be there

but just as dowoon finishes giving you the details, he seems to want to ask something else

but you hurry off before he can

and the entire time you try to study you keep thinking about what dowoon means,,,,,,,you’re in his movie?

the film festival is really small, it fills up only one of the classrooms but it is filled to the brim

dowoon is surrounded by a group of fellow students, you recognize one of them as the person who was sitting with him in the book aisle

but you try to not let it bug you as you take one of the “free snacks” offered on a tiny table in the corner

dowoon only spots you when the films are about to start and he’s pulled away by a professor before he can come and say hi

you sit there, watching all the different cute films made by all the students

and they’re all amazing, you’ve never been much of an animation fan but the effort put into this works is amazing

and then,,,,,you see dowoon’s name flash across the screen

‘the magic of the library’ is the name of his piece

and it starts off with a character asleep in one of the aisles - until the walking bookshelf accompanied by the character who resembles you wakes him up

and taking his hand,,,,,,,,shows him the wonder of the library

dancing books, spinning desks, computers flashing with smiley faces

and you look at the characters - that are so obviously you and dowoon holding hands

and when it ends,,,,it is as short as he says,,,,,,you catch dowoon’s eye

he flusters when the clapping starts but you see that he’s got doubt on his face - an emotion you’ve never seen

and so,,,,without thinking

you make way through the students and up to dowoon

“did you like i-”

he starts, but you just lean up and press your lips to his cheek

the boys around him all gasp and dowoon turns to color of a lobster but goes 

“i,,,im glad you liked it,,,,,,”

“and you! THEY LIKE YOU DOWOON!” 

wonpil’s familiar voice comes from your right and everyone in the room goes “SHHH” as the next film starts

you take dowoon’s hand and he squeezes it as you two make your way out of the cramped room

and dowoon goes

“can you kiss me again, sorry i just want to know it happened.”

and you do it 

but then dowoon chuckles and go, “sorry - again. i want to feel it again.” 

and you’re like boy stop playing around

BUT it’s cute because now you and dowoon know your mutual feelings and,,,,,even though wonpil will probably not shuttup about it if you two go back in there

you’re content with that

but also wonpil’s like wanna ditch this festival and go on a date? and you’re like wont you get in trouble with your professor?

and dowoon shrugs like “it’s worth it”

dating dowoon is a lot of just,,,,,,doing normal things together 

and wonpil absolutely LOSING IT over how cute you two are

like you’ll just be sharing a drink and wonpil has tears down his face like dowoon,,,,im so happy for you,,,,,,

it’s wild - but you get used to it

dowoon is a drifter - he likes trying new things but never gets attached to them for too long

like he’ll invite you to this club he found on campus about flower arrnging

and you’ll be like it was super fun! and dowoon is like mhmm, next week lets try rockclimbing

which you’re not really opposed to,,,,dowoon looks like the laze at home type but the reality is that he is super curious and likes to learn whatever he can

which you love about him 

it’s always an adventure,,,,,,,,but that doesn’t mean he’s opposed to just cuddling on a rainy afternoon and ordering food online

but - with you it’s different for dowoon

he is in it for the long run and he values your interests a lot,,,,,,,

which is new for him, aside from night6, he’s not really close to anyone

but you are the center of his world,,,,,what you like - he’ll like too because he does wanna support you

and when he asked youngk for fashion advice for one of your dates youngk was so shocked he asked jae if dowoon had a twin brother or something like was this really happening

dowoon is still dreamy though

you guys will be walking somewhere from class and he’ll see one dog across campus and be like i gotta go pet it

even if he’s late for a class

and you have to be like no no no come here e have to go to class and dowoon is like but :( puppy :( 

sometimes you’re the only thing keeping him on track to graduating LOL

you also really like watching dowoon practice the drums

he’ll always try to get you to play something and you’re like i cant and he’s like it’s easy to smack the drums

and you’re like thats not how it works babe

and he’s like that’s what ive been doing and it’s been working SO

dowoon doodles you in his notebook but is too embarrassed to show you 

you are dowoon’s first real serious relationship and so sometimes he’s a little clutzy with romance but you don’t mind

especially when he gets shy about trying new things ,,,,,, physically

but it’s dowoon - with his big warm body and cute as hell face

in your head you’re like he could do anything to me and id be fine with it but ofc dont say that outloud because the one time you did dowoon almost had a heatstroke 

you wear anything that shows skin. dowoon goes into a blushing frenzy

wonpil was convinced before you that dowoon didn’t have the capacity to be jealous

but one time when wonpil was leaning his head against your shoulder and being you know,,,,wonpil

and dowoon literally picked him up and dragged him away 

you: oh so strong

dowoon: <3

wonpil: dowoon. dowoon put me down. dowOON

also you don’t really know it but dowoon thinks that a lot of the stuff you do is super adorable

like you once told him you love the library because you love the smell of new books

and he was like,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,you’re the cutest person ever

and you were like hmm and he was like nothing huh books right

dowoon is a sucker for you combing your fingers through his hair,,,,any chance at it he’s like head in your lap and you’re like ok ok i know what you want

for your first anniversary for 100 days he forgot to get flowers so he drew a photo of some flowers and was like,,,,,,is this ok

and you were like ,,,,, how are you so darn cute

still gets fan letters professing love to him and he’s like oh. now i get it they like me and jae is like yeah dude

but dowoon shrugs and is like too bad im taken 

dowoon couple matching bracelets (which wonpil is jealous off and wont admit it)

dowoon is the type of love that seems simple and sweet but the reality is that dowoon has never had someone special

and having you has really changed his outlook on life,,,,,like it’s dramatic and sappy to say that

but he’s grown because of falling in love with you and tbh when you ask him 

when was the moment he started liking you

he shyly admits that he thought you scolding him in the library for sleeping was super cute

and you’re like what how

and he’s like i like,,,,someone who tells me what to do 

you, blushing : o-oh ,,,,,this is good information trjkdlsfj

dowoon lets you wear his hoodie and ur like u should wear one too its cold

and hes like babe,,,,if im being honest,,,,the one you’re wearing is the only clean one i have,,,,,right now,,,,,,,

date: you and dowoon at the school laundromat with him sketching to pass the time and you reading

but you look up every now and then to see if the machine is done and also to kiss when no one else is around ,,,,,,,,,,cute

he’s a soft boyfriend who thinks of a cute nickname for you but is too nervous and shy to say it outloud so he writes it down on a piece of paper and shows it to sungjin

and sungjin is like “you’re nervous to call your own significant other,,,,,,,honey?”

dowoon, ears red: “i dont want to come off corny like you sungjin”  

day6: jae | wonpil | youngk | sungjin by group: bangtan | vixx | got7 | nct | kard | monsta x | seventeen gg specials: amber | momo | irene commissioned: iu | chanyeol | hongseok | baekhyun 

#day6 scenarios #day6 imagines #day6 au #dowoon scenarios #dowoon imagines #dowoon au #day6 dowoon #sfw #day6 #dowoon #im wonpil through this whole thing

[mosquitotoes]

What Makes a Family

Chapter 5: Baby’s Firsts-part 1

Thanksgiving-Nov. 28, 1991

John was driving to Bobby’s house for Thanksgiving dinner. Usually, on Thanksgiving, he would pass out on the couch, holding a bucket of chicken but he decided to do something different this year. Besides, it wouldn’t hurt his boys or him to have a home-cooked meal.

“Alright, boys, leave your stuff in here.” He said, pulling into Bobby’s driveway and turning the engine off. “Yes sir, They said in unison, opening their doors and getting out with John. Grabbing Brooke and her stuff they headed up the stairs of the front porch “Yay, you’we back!” Called a little voice when the front door swung open.

“Hey Vanessa” He chuckled, walking up the steps with the boys. Bobby smiled “Y’all are just in time. The turkey and ham are about done.” He informed, shutting the door once they were all inside. “Good, I’m starving” Sam said, setting the diaper bag on the couch. “I’ll help you set the table, Bobby” John said, taking the cooler to the kitchen.

Once the food was done and the table was set they were all sitting around the big table that Bobby put out. “Daddy, we gots ta say what we’we tankful fow!” Vanessa reminded him from her seat between Sam and Dean. “Do you wanna start us off, darlin’?” He asked, carving up the ham.

Vanessa nodded excitedly “Yeah!” She exclaimed, kneeling up in the chair. “I tankful fow my new fwen Wooke!”  Bobby chuckled, carving up the turkey “Alright, what about you, Dean?” He asked, looking over at the boy. Dean grinned, his candy apple green eyes lighting up “I’m thankful for all this food!” He said happily, making John and Bobby chuckle.

After the rest had said what they were thankful for and their tummies were filled everyone gathered in the living room to watch the Dallas Cowboys versus the Pittsburgh Steelers. “Pack your pie up, boys. It’s getting late and we need to go.” John said, getting up from the couch as Sam and Dean went to the kitchen. Vanessa toddled over to John “I have hug?” She asked, putting her arms little arms up. “Of course, sweetheart” He smiled, bending down to pick her up.

As soon as he lifted her up he felt a sudden sharp pain in his back. Quickly putting her down John groaned in pain and held his back. “You alright, John?” Bobby asked, getting up from his armchair. John slowly sat down on the couch “I think I threw out my back.” He strained, putting a pillow behind him.

“I’ll get the heating pad” Bobby said, walking off toward the bathroom. Vanessa frowned “I sowwy, Unca John.” The man looked at her “It’s not your fault, honey. I’m just old.” He assured her, earning a grin from the four-year-old.

As it turned out getting pinned to a tree and sleeping on a small couch for three days straight wasn’t a good combination at all.

December 24, 1991-Broken Bow, Nebraska

Dean looked at Sam from where he stood at the window of the motel room. “What is that?” He asked, noticing his younger brother wrap something in newspaper funnies on the couch. “Present for Dad” He replied, folding up the edge. Dean scoffed “Yeah, right. Where’d you get the money? Steal it?” Sam taped down a piece “No! Uncle Bobby gave it to me to give to him. Said it was real special.”

“What is it?” Dean asked, looking back at the snow. “A pony” Sam sassed back. “Very funny” Dean said, walking over and sitting down on the couch. “Dad’s gonna be here, right?” Sam asked as Dean picked up a comic book. “He’ll be here” Dean assured him, nodding. “It’s Christmas and Brookie’s first” Sam reminded him, nodding to the bassinet on the coffee table.

“He knows and he’ll be here like he is every year.” Dean said, going back to his comic. Sam nodded “Where is he anyway?” He asked. “On business.” “What kind of business?” “You know that. He sells stuff.” “What kind of stuff?” “Stuff” “Nobody ever tells me anything.” “Then quit asking” Dean said, getting up and moving to one of the beds. Sam kneeled on the couch, resting his arms on the back “Is Dad a spy?” Dean looked up from his comic “Mhm. He’s James Bond.”

“Why do we move around so much?” Sam asked. “Cause everywhere we go they get sick of your face and Brooke’s stinky diapers” Dean told him, continuing to read his comic.  Sam hopped over the couch and leaned on the back. “I’m old enough, Dean. You can tell me the truth.” He insisted. “You don’t want to know the truth. Believe me.” “Is that why we don’t talk about...mom?”

“Shut up! Don’t you ever talk about mom! Ever!” Dean snapped at him, getting off the bed. When he yelled Brooke woke up and started fussing. Dean turned and headed for the door “Wait, where are you going?” Sam asked. “Out” Dean stated, opening the door and slamming it shut once he walked out.

Sam looked over at Brooke “What did I do?” He asked, walking over and picking her up gently “Do you know what I did?” By the time Dean came back it was somewhat dark. “Thought you went out” Sam said, looking up from a comic. “Yeah to get you dinner” Dean replied, tossing him a bag of Funyuns “Don’t forget your vegetables” He told him, heading to the beds.

Sam followed and sat across from him. “I know why you keep a gun under your pillow” He said as Dean opened a can of soda. The older boy lifted his pillow and saw his gun where he had left it. “No you don’t. Stay out of my stuff” He said, putting the pillow down. “And I know why we lay down salt everywhere we go.” Sam informed him. “No, you don’t. Shut up.”

The younger boy leaned back and pulled John’s book out from the mattress, putting it on the nightstand. Dean stood up “Where’d you get that? That’s Dad’s! He’s gonna kick your ass for reading that!” Sam looked up at him “Are monster’s real?” He asked. “What? You’re crazy” Dean scoffed. “Tell me” He urged him.

Dean looked at him and sighed “I swear if you ever tell Dad I told you any of this, I will end you.” Sam nodded “Promise.” The former sat back down on the bed “Well, the first thing you have to know is we have the coolest Dad in the world. He’s a superhero.” Dean started. “He is?” “Yeah. Monsters are real. Dad fights them. He’s fighting them right now.”

“But Dad said the monsters under my bed weren’t real.” “That’s cause he already checked under there. But yeah, they’re real. Almost everything’s real.” “Is Santa real?” Dean scoffed “No” He shook his head. “If monsters are real they could get us. They could get me or Brooke.” Sam frowned.

“Dad’s not gonna let them get you two” Dean assured his little brother. “But what if they get him?” “They aren’t gonna get Dad. Dad’s, like, the best.” “I read in Dad’s book that they got Mom.” Dean sighed sharply “It’s complicated, Sam.”

“If they got Mom, they can get Dad. And if they get Dad, they can get us” Sam reasoned. “It’s not like that” Dean told him, getting up and sitting next to him. “Okay, Dad’s fine. We’re fine. Trust me. You okay?” He asked, patting his shoulder. “Yeah” Sam whispered, looking away from Dean.

This was a lot for an eight year old to take in. Sam felt as though he had been lied to. “Dad’ll be here. Just like he always is” Dean promised. “I just wanna go to sleep, okay?” Sam sniffled, turning around and laying down with his back to Dean. “It’ll all be better when you wake up” Dean told him as Sam cried quietly. “You’ll see. Promise.”

An hour after midnight Sam woke up to Dean shaking him gently “Sam, wake up. Dad was here. Look at what he brought” Dean told him, nodding to the small Christmas tree. “Dad was here?” Sam asked sleepily, rubbing his eyes. “Yeah! Look at this. We made a killing!” He grinned. Sam yawned “Why didn’t he try to wake me up?” He questioned.

“He tried, like, a thousand times.” He replied. “He did?” Dean nodded “Yeah. Did I tell you he would give us Christmas or what? Go on, dive in!” He encouraged. Sam quickly got out of bed, excited to see what he got, and grabbed two gifts, heading to the couch. Dean picked Brooke up gently from her bassinet and sat next to Sam as he started opening the biggest one “What is it?” He asked once Sam got it unwrapped.

“Sapphire Barbie?” Sam asked, showing him the box. Dean chuckled “Dad probably thinks you’re a girl” He teased. “Shut up” Sam laughed, opening the other gift and pulled out a sparkly baton with ribbons sticking out on each side. “Dad never showed did he?” The hazel eyed boy asked, looking over at his brother.

“Yeah, he did. I swear. Maybe that’s for Brooke” He reasoned, nodding to the baby in his arms. Sam gave him his signature bitch face “And what’s she gonna do with it besides drool on it?” He asked “Dean where’d you get this stuff?” Dean looked away from him and sighed “Nice house up the block. I swear I didn’t know they were chick presents.”

“Look I’m sure Dad would’ve been here if he could” Dean reassured him. “If he’s alive” Sam said, looking down. “Don’t say that. Of course he’s alive. He’s Dad.” He told him. Sam nodded, reaching over and grabbing something he wrapped in newspaper funnies. “Here. Take this” He said, handing it to Dean.

The older boy shook his head “No. No, that’s for Dad” He replied. “Dad lied to me. I want you to have it.” “You sure?” “I’m sure.” Dean put Brooke in his lap gently and took the small package from him, opening it and pulling out a necklace with a black cord and a golden head with horns. “Thanks, Sam. I love it” He smiled, putting on.

Sam nodded “Welcome. We should wrap these back up and take them back to that house. At least they can have a nice Christmas.” He said bitterly, picking the wrapping paper up and getting started.

Little did the boys know that John was stuck on the side of the rode with no gas. Luckily he had called Bobby and he’d be by in a few minutes. He would’ve called the boys but he lost reception before he could make a second call. John waved as Bobby pulled up “Sorry to call you out here on Christmas, Bobby” He said as his friend got out of his truck. “That’s alright. Vanessa wanted to spend Christmas with the boys anyway” Bobby smiled, getting his gas can out of the back and filling up John’s car.

“Hi Unca John!” Vanessa said, leaning out the opened window. John smiled, ruffling her hair “Hey, kiddo. Excited to see the boys and Brooke?” He asked. The four year old nodded excitedly “Yeah!” Bobby chuckled, finishing up “You’re all set, John. Let’s go see those rugrats of yours.”

March 17, 1992-Akron, Ohio

John shook both his boys awake gently “Get ready for school, boys. There’s breakfast sandwiches on the table.” He said, turning on the lights. Dean rubbed his eyes “Do we have to go to school, Dad?” He asked, sitting up. John nodded as he fed Brooke “Yes, you have to” He replied. Even though they moved around alot John still wanted them to have a good education and get good grades.

After both boys ate and got ready John drove them to school. They got to Garfield High first since it was closer to the motel. “Have a good day at school, dude” John said as Dean got out. The thirteen year old slung his backpack over his shoulder “Thanks, Dad, I will.” He smiled, shutting the door and walking up to the entrance. John smiled back “Sammy, you can come sit up front with me if ya want” He said, looking at him from the rearview mirror.

Sam shook his head without looking up from his book “No, thanks” He said, turning the page. John nodded and started driving toward Robinson Elementary. Sam was still mad at John for keeping the whole monsters thing from him. And rightfully so but boy could that kid hold a grudge.

“Have a good day, kiddo” John said, parking in front of the school. Sam closed his book, nodded and got out of the Impala, shutting the door. John sighed as he made his way into the building. “I don’t know what I’m gonna do with him, Brooke.” He said, looking down at the three month old.

Brooke cooed and gave him a toothless grin as she chewed on her little gloved hand. John chuckled, driving out of the school parking lot and back to the motel. Once they were back John took off Brooke’s gloves “I know, angel. Let me get you a teething ring” He said, heading to the kitchenette as Brooke fussed. “It’s a good thing I picked some up when I got breakfast, huh?” He stated, opening the freezer and giving one to Brooke.

As soon as the ring was in her little hand she started crying and threw it on the floor. “It’s alright. Shh. We’ll go a different route” He soothed, bouncing her in his arms and opening a cabinet. John grabbed a whiskey bottle and set Brooke in her bassinet. Once he gently rubbed a droplet or two on her gums she calmed down. “See? All better” He smiled, laying her back down gently in her bassinet.

John had done that with his boys before so he really didn’t see a problem with it. “Daddy’s got some research to do so I’m sure you won’t mind watchin’ some Wiggles” He said, making a little fortress of pillows on the bed. Just as he was about to turn on the TV he heard Brooke wheezing. Walking over he saw that his little girl’s cheeks were red and splotchy and her eyes were getting puffy. “Oh shit” He whispered, grabbing Brooke and his keys.

The man bolted out the door, not bothering to lock it or put on his coat, and got into the Impala. John held Brooke close as he floored it to the hospital, praying the whole way. What would’ve been a sixteen minute drive from Econo Lodge to Summa Health System turned into only a five minute drive. John parked at the entrance and busted into the hospital, almost running into a doctor in the process. “Please help my baby!”” He said frantically, practically hyperventilating at this point.

A nurse took her gently from his arms and brought her to one of the exam rooms. The doctor put his hand on his shoulder “We’ll help, sir. Just take a deep breath and explain what happened.” When the doctor put his hand on John’s shoulder the latter felt a sense of calm wash over him. Dr. Custodio guided John to the seating area as he breathed deep “Alright, now what happened?” He asked, sitting down next to him.

Once John told him what had happened the doctor nodded “I’ve seen this pretty often. It’s likely your daughter is allergic to alcohol.” He said, standing up “I’ll go see how I can help and check back with you.” John nodded, standing as well “Thank you, Doctor” He said, shaking his hand. “No problem sir” Dr. Custodio smiled, letting go of his hand and walking off to the exam room.

“How is she, nurse?” Gabriel asked, shutting the door behind him. “A little better now. I’d do more but I’m afraid I’ll activate her powers before she’s ready.” Pele replied with her hand on Brooke’s stomach. Gabriel nodded, rolling up his sleeves “Alright, lemme take over” He said, walking to the other side of the table.

His usual honey colored eyes were bright blue as he put a glowing hand over the tiny baby before him. “Huh, not only is she allergic to alcohol but she also has asthma. Oh and Synesthesia.” Gabriel diagnosed as he continued to heal her. Soon Brooke’s cheeks and eyes were completely clear. Brooke cooed happily, grabbing at his big golden wings. Young kids and babies could see an angels wings.

Some adults could too but that meant that the angel was their guardian. Gabriel chuckled “You like those, huh?” He asked, bouncing her gently. Pele smiled “She’s growing up so fast” She remarked, playing with her curls. “Wanna hold her while I go give him an update?” Her friend asked. Pele nodded “I’d love to” She smiled, taking her gently from him.

Brooke cooed happily, grabbing at her mom’s long curls as Gabe stepped out and headed to the waiting room. John had not stopped pacing back and forth ever since the doctor went into the exam room. “How is she?” The worried father asked, chewing on his thumbnail nervously. “She’s doing just fine right now. We ran some tests and found that she is allergic to alcohol. She also has asthma but that shouldn’t affect her until she’s older.” He explained.

“Thank God” John said, looking up and breathing a sigh of relief that he didn’t know he was holding in until now. “What do I do about her teething then?” He asked, looking at the doctor. “I suggest a cool washcloth and if that doesn’t work then tray a warm one” Dr. Custodio recommended. John nodded “When can I take her home?” He asked, switching his weight to one foot. “I’d like to keep her here for a day or two to keep an eye on her. But you’re welcome to go ahead and see her” He smiled.

John nodded, smiling back “Thanks again, doctor” He said, putting his hand out for him to shake. Dr. Custodio shook his hand, patting him arm “No problem, sir” He said before walking off down the hall. The nurse walked out of the room just as John was walking over “I’ll be by later to bring her some formula.” She smiled. The man nodded, smiling back and looking at her nametag “Thank you, Ember” He said. “It’s no problem. Oh, I need your names” She told him.

“I’m Archer Yar and she’s Natasha.” He replied. Ember nodded “Alright, thank you, Mr. Yar.” She said, heading over to the receptionist’s desk. ‘Of all the names you could’ve picked, John, you decide to go with some from Star Trek? What a nerd.’ She thought, chuckling to herself. John walked in and gingerly picked his babygirl up “Hey, princess. You doin’ alright?” He asked softly, sitting down in the little rocking chair by the bed. “I’m sorry for what I did, sweetheart.” The Hunter told her, kissing her head gently.

Pele stood by the door out of John’s line of sight and smiled, knowing she made the right choice. John rubbed her cheek with his thumb gently “You don’t know how much I love you, pumpkin” He whispered as he rocked in the chair. Brooke grinned slightly, slowly dozing off. John chuckled, glancing over at the clock and seeing it was nearing three. Grabbing his phone from his shirt pocket he dialed on of his friends.

It rang a few times before a man’s voice came through “Hello?”  John held the phone between his shoulder and ear “Hey, Caleb, it’s John. Are you anywhere near Summa Health in Akron?” He asked. “Yeah, I just got done with a hunt in Cuyahoga Falls, why? Something happen?” John got up, bouncing the sleeping baby in his arms “Long story short Brooke’s allergic to alcohol and they wanna keep her for a few days for observation. I just need a favor from you. Do you mind picking the boys up from school?”

“Course not. Just give me the directions and I’m there, man.” A few minutes went by and two young boys walked in with a man “Excuse me, ma’am” He smiled at the receptionist. “Can you tell me where Archer and Natasha Yar are?” The man questioned. The receptionist looked up from her magazine “Room 12. Right down the hall” She replied. Caleb nodded “Thank you. C’mon kiddos” He said, heading down the direction with the boys.

Caleb knocked on the door before opening to reveal John in the rocking chair feeding Brooke. “Hey, boys” He greeted as they ran in. “Hey, Dad. What happened?” Dean asked, getting on the bed with Sam. “I screwed up.” John said simply. “You remember when I would rub Sam’s gums with alcohol to help ‘em?” He asked. His eldest nodded “Yeah I remember” He said.

“Well, as it turns out Brooke’s allergic” John said, putting the bottle on the nightstand and patting her back gently. “Not really your fault, Dad” Sam spoke up. That was the first full sentence he had gotten from him in awhile. John smiled “Still I should’ve had her tested like I had you both tested for your allergies. I knew better but I assumed she’d be alright.” He told them. “And do you know what happens when you assume?” Their father questioned.

Both boys grinned “You make an ass out of you!” They said in unison. “That’s right” John chuckled. Caleb smiled “So is she gonna be okay?” He asked, leaning against the doorframe. John nodded “Yeah, she’ll be fine. The doctor fixed her up real good” He said. “Does that mean we have to spend the night here?” Dean asked.

John nodded “Fraid so, dude” He replied. “Or I can take em back to the motel and watch em until y’all come back” Caleb offered. “You sure?” John asked, looking up at him. The younger Hunter nodded “Positive. It’s been awhile since I’ve hung out with these brats” He said jokingly. John chuckled “Alright, thanks, man.”

Once the two days were up everything went back to the way it had been before.

Easter-April 19, 1992

The Winchesters were in Cape Elizabeth, Maine to visit John’s mom, Millie, and his stepdad, Oscar. They both owned a bed and breakfast called Sandcastle Cove. The fifty-seven year old woman waited on the front porch eagerly despite it being cold. Once the Impala pulled up Millie jogged over “I’m so happy to see you!” She smiled, hugging Sam and Dean tightly once they were out of the car. The boys hugged her back, smiling “Good to see you, too, Grandma” Sam said.

They really didn’t get to see each other very often but John tried to visit every Easter. Millie kissed their heads “You’ve both gotten so big!” She observed as John got out of the car. “Now, what’s this I hear about a new grandbaby?” She asked, turning to her son. John smiled, raising up the bassinet that had a four month old Brooke nestled inside.

Millie beamed “Oh, my goodness! She gorgeous, Johnny” She declared, gently scooping her out of the bassinet. Brooke cooed, grinning at her and showing off her first tooth. “Come on inside. There’s cookies waiting for you” She smiled, walking up the pathway with them. “Where’s Grandpa?” Sam asked, opening the door and walking inside. “He’s down at his auto shop. He’ll be back in a little bit” Millie told them, shutting the door once everyone was inside.

Oscar was the one who taught John everything he knew about cars. “If the weather permits would you two like to go hunt for Easter eggs with some of the local kids?” Millie asked, rocking Brooke gently and holding her close. “Yeah!” The boys exclaimed, munching down on their cookies. Just then the front door opened to Oscar. “Grandpa!” The boys said happily, running over to hug him. Oscar laughed heartily “Hey, boys! Have a good drive?” He asked, hugging them back.

“Yeah! We got to explore the lighthouse yesterday!” Sam grinned. “Ah, Two Lights. I know it well” Oscar nodded, smiling and ruffling his hair. Millie smiled “Ozzy, come meet your granddaughter” She said. Oscar walked over and gently took the baby from Millie’s arms “She’s beautiful” He smiled, looking down at her.

Once they all got acquainted Millie took the kids to the back porch to let them try their hand at whittling. They had learned when they were there last Easter. Millie sat in the rocking chair, feeding Brooke while they whittled. “You boys remember what to do right?” She asked. Sam and Dean nodded “Yes, ma’am” They said in unison, getting started.

After whittling their creations they showed them off to Oscar and John. “I tried to make the Impala” Dean said, holding it up to show them. John smiled, taking it from him gently “It looks just like it. Good job, son” He said, clapping his back. Dean smiled happily “Thanks, Dad” He beamed. “What’d you make, Sammy?” John asked, looking over at him.

“A box!” He smiled, holding it up for them to see. John smiled, taking it from him “Very nice, Sammy” He praised. “We’ll have to sand em down and lacquer or paint em” Oscar smiled. Millie looked out the window “You guys’ll have to do it later because the kids are coming. You boys ready to hunt some eggs?” She asked. “Yeah!” The boys exclaimed, grabbing a basket each.

Millie took them to the big backyard where the kids were gathered. “It’s good to see you all again!” She smiled, looking at them all “I only have one rule: Have fun!” With that the kids were off to look for eggs and Millie went back inside. Sam saw a bright green egg by the swing set.

Once he got close enough to it one of the bigger kids shoved him out of the way and picked it up. “Hey, that’s mine! I saw it first!” Sam glared, getting up and dusting himself off. The boy shrugged “So? I got it first, squirt” He smirked, pushing him again. “Hey! Give it to him and leave him alone!” came a voice.

The boy turned around and was met with candy apple green eyes glaring at him. If looks could kill the older boy would be dust. “Or what, freckles?” He taunted, pushing him slightly. “Or this!” Dean said, punching him square in the jaw. As soon as he punched him he felt pain in his knuckles.

The older boy grabbed his throbbing jaw and glared at Dean “You asked for it!” He declared, tackling him to the ground. The other kids gathered around chanting for them to fight as Sam ran inside to get someone. By the time John had come out Dean had the upper hand. Wading through the sea of children John pulled Dean off the other kid.

“Whoa! Whoa! Hold it!” He raised his voice, holding the other boy back with one hand as the chanting died down. “You have some explaining to do, boy” John said sternly, looking at Dean. They walked back inside with John’s hand on Dean’s shoulder. “Go back to hunting eggs, everyone” Millie said before pointing to the boy that started it all “Except for you. You can go home.”

John handed Dean a bag of ice and sat down next to him at the kitchen table. “Wanna explain what happened out there?” He asked as Dean iced his hand. His eldest son nodded, looking down. “Kid was picking on Sammy then he pushed me. So I punched him and he tackled me.” He explained.

“Am I in trouble?” He asked, looking back up at him. John shook his head “Nah” He said, smiling slightly “But I am gonna teach ya how to punch without hurting your knuckles, though” John chuckled, ruffling his hair.

That was an Easter they’d never forget.

#Supernatural #Brooke Winchester #Sam Winchester #John Winchester #Bobby Singer #Vanessa Singer #Millie Winchester #Gabriel Supernatural #Pele #Winchester Sister

[medusasresfriadas]

6, 13, 17, 36, 42, 50!! (Excuse the long list :P)

 6: Which book was the last one you really, really loved?

i think it was the gentleman’s guide to vice and virtue? honestly i forget the books i’ve read and when ive read them really easily. 

if we’re getting picky and only counting the sort of books than you wouldn’t mind reading instead of being alive (not in a suicidal idealization kind of way. just being so absorbed in a story that it might as well swallow you whole. the kind of book that, if you read it, you spend most of the day almost in a haze, going through the motions with your thoughts about the book as constant background noise you slip into when you can

so. that doesn’t sound entirely healthy. i promise i didn’t mean to make it sound like that), probably all for the game? i think it was after those that i started pretty mediocre books and just didn’t read for a while, but again,time… is hard

13: Name a book with a really bad movie/tv adaption

naming another one, just because i can! and because i’m still pissed at the precy jackson adaptation, so yeah. the lightning thief, don’t think i have to explain this one

17: If you owned a bookshop what would you call it? 

i don’t even know. i do know that it would be an either terrible or surprisingly clever pun that @aoi-herondale came up with and had me at least three minutes laughing. we’ve joked about a library before and we agree that it would have a cafe/some sor tof cofee shop area or whatever the word is (no, im not copying your answer) so, some sor of cofee/hot chocolate pun i imagine.

sorry this one’s not really an answer

36: Name a book you consider to be terribly overrated

i already answered this one, but i just remembered la celestina is considered a spanish classic. so fuck la celestina and fuck every character in that book, except melibea probably, because she was under a spell or some shit. 

(i know i feel very strongly about old books no one cares about anymore, but thats life)

42: Which was the best book you had to read in school?

the first i can think of is En el Corazón del Bosque, one of those books with activities that you had to read en cuartoi de primaria o por ahi, which is the first instance of a school book being genuinely good. some actual bests are The Picture of Dorian Gray and La Vida es Sueño (look, more old books instead of sticking to my century), both of which i technically chose to read, and i’d read both before i had to for school, but they still count

50: Why do you love to read?

i’m sorry, this one’s definetly getting a long answer and the post is alreaady long enough as is

okay, so. when asked out of the blue why i read, my instinctive answer is because i love stories. and i do, i love stories, and i love the characters that inhabit them and care about them dearly. but there’s always something else in that question isn’t there. always an implied instead. why do you read so much, istead of watching a movie, or tv. why do you spend your free time consuming a medium that is at least partially responsible for ruining your eyesight instead of going out and playing football when you get home - why did you ruin your eyes reading under the covers instead of going to sleep - why are you making an effort - it’s an effort, for many people - instead of doing things i enjoy more.

and i don’t mean to dismiss the importance of sports, or how fun they can be. and i hate to see audiovisual media put down to praise the wonders of reading. i have watched movies that feel like the’re going to change your life, movies that take your breath away with their cinematography, or with soundtracks so iconic they keep being referenced and played in arrangements years and years after, or soundtracks that simply have really good music. i have watched shows that made me care about the characters more thamn most book protagonists i can name, more than some of my extended family.

this was just a very roundabout way of saying, because it’s important to me that it is understood, that there’s nothing inherently supperior or holier in books. and yet. and yet i consider them one of the key factors of my life, of shaping me as a person.

part of it is, obviously and giving due credit to my mother, that i’ve been listening to stories for longer than my memory stretches, and that my memory does stretch to stories i heard before i could talk with more than one consonant in a way it doesn’t for most things.

part of it is that a book can be carried around everywhere, while a movie can only be downloaded - since pretty recently - and you can’t really start watching rear window in the middle of class. for a person who both doesn’t like and doesn’t know how to properly socialize, you can understand the benefit

the last reason, the one i’ve been building up to, and a consequence of the other two is that… i’m just shaped for them, if that makes sense. movies, shows, podcasts, comics, whatever, do make me feel really strongly, but afterwards it’s just… over. maybe i’m still scared, because i get scared easily, but none of those have made me cry endless minutes after i finish them, or grin stupidly in the middle of class because i remembered a line i particularly liked. i mentioned aftg earlier. well there’s something incredibly fucked up that happens in the second book, if i remember correctly. this event is - thankfully - never described in excruciating detail, and it would’ve been a thousand times more shocking if it were a movie. but, the book centers on the person that went through that, and the reaction of the protagonist, the emotions he feels, and how other people react to feeling similarly.  i’m not exagerating when i say i was so horrified after reading it that i didn’t feel capable of talking - not even to someone, just the thought of making sounds was too much - for hours, and i didn’t feel okay until after more than a day. 

maybe i’m just very empathetic, but that’s it. the action is important but what i truly seek out is the description of emotion, be it a straightforward description of anger or devotion full of imagery and metaphors.

i read because i’m greedy and want the character’s feelings in addition to my own

#black-tea-blue-pens #'excuse the long list' you should be apologizing to yourself #look what a mess you've gotten into #ask #at

[drimmolo]

Journal#1: What’s been happening until now and what’s hopefully gonna happen later

Alright so, I realize there’s been radio silence until now, I’m still getting used to uploading weekly updates on how my process has been going and need to realize that everything i do revolving this project is actually part of the process and not just ...well..drawings. I feel like I’m a little behind, but thinking about it rationally, it’s not that bad (i hope so anyway...have to make it):

September: I basically spent September just tinkering with the concept. I had been sitting on this idea of “a comic about me meeting Scheherazade” for almost three years, but I never really sat down and thought how to turn it into a full start to finish comic...so there were some holes here and there. More on that on another journal. Anyway, by the end of september I had a strong idea of what i wanted my comic to look like, and made some concept art and doodles.

October (right now): So when i first tried to draw the pages ..I got a horrible realization: am I representing the culture correctly? I realized all of a sudden that altough i knew what i wanted my comic to look like, I didn't know how the details had to look like. By “had to look like” i mean that...i mean I’m drawing a comic that’s tying to the Arabian nights am I not? I’m representing god knows how many shades of cultures..I can’t just come up with how Sheherezade looks like or how her clothes look like or show the creatures from the thousand and one nights look like...I had to do some research...I wanna do it properly. At first I tried to do just....you know...quickly search on google some images. But the more I scrolled down the more i felt like it was all from a western perspective....all the images i was looking at were illustrations from western illustrators. I then tried to scrap that and just look up...uh. old Arabian fashion? obviously i only got more unsatisfying results that looked more like outfit themes for tumblr girls. I was spending too much time trying to look for the right pictures....and i was getting frustrated cause I felt like i was cutting off my artistic creativity. I mean the comic might be about the arabian nights..but its taking place in my imaginary world...so my view of it is still important right? so from there I decided  the easiest way to avoid both putting a western perspective and putting in my personal interpretation: spending  A LOT OF TIME getting familiar with ancient eastern art and epic literature and from there get inspiration on how things look like. It took a lot of time and research, using museum archives and also borrowing some books from the library, but it paid off. Sheherezade’s clothes and design are much more representing of  her culture.

So yeah..october was mostly researching. I’ll share more on that later on another journal with some screenshots. 

Small confession: technically speaking I could have still kept on drawing...but honestly I was experiencing what i suppose one could call cold feet. I was researching and at the same time hiding from actually starting to draw.  This has definitely set me back on the process, but it’s not all for naught, since now i have no doubts about any part of my comic. I still like the thumbnails that i uploaded at the very beginning, and therefore will change the look of them only as I go, instead of just wasting more time on planning instead of actually drawing. In the end of the day I just...gotta start drawing. Which I have, by the way, and luckily for me it’s the research has proven to be useful. I’m not wasting time thinking about designs or how to fill space because I drenched my artistic “mind” with persian and indian miniature art and jewellery books. I’m just ...drawing and thinking about eastern art. I’m not saying im drawing persian art ...but im getting inspired by eastern art instead of a western idea of persian art...which is good enough for me. 

so yeah...not all for naught. Still stressing...but at least im drawing and thats the most imporant part right?

What’s next: I have 12 pages that I have to finish before in around one month and a half, which is not impossible. What I have to think about is how much I want to do in these 12 pages. At first, I wanted to go hard and color plus shade and light, but I have to think realistically now. At the moment, I’m going to stick with that idea. However instead of completely finishing each page, i’ll finishing the inking of all the pages, and from there decide whether I’d rather, in case, either give up colors or light and shade. Reastically speaking, color might have to be the ones to get taken out, simply because they take more time. With light and shadows I can still give a very good feeling of the atmosphere, which can’t be said about colors. Losing colors is gonna take a lot away from the comic, but it won’t take away the most important things. I have done a test on how only light and shadows would look like, and the result is not bad.

So basically, I have an emergency back up plan, in case I realize the time is short. 

Additional notes: A big part of what eats away the time I put in my comics is lettering. I don’t like writing the dialogue for my comics because it takes AGESS to get them to look right, but it’s my preferred option over having to type dialogue using fonts, because while i dont like writing dialogue...i absolutely ABHOR fonts. Luckily, during class we learned on how to make our own fonts and I think that could be a good solution. We also learned how to make speech bubbles on illustrator...but the process looked quite long and I feel drawing them ismuch  easier. Or at least it is for me, since I always draw speech bubbles first and then write in them the dialogue..which apparently according to my teacher is something not many people do. Personally i find it much easier...and taking into consideration how i wanna go about comic (with the whole inking and then maybe coloring and shading), i think being able to just add dialogue later with illustrator after already having the speech bubbles in the pages sounds easier than having to spend hours on lettering by hand. 

...phew that was a lot of typing. But that hopefully clears up everything that happened until now in regards to the process towards my comic. By the way, i can’t keep calling it simply “comic” can I? I need to start thinking about a name....

anyway more journals to come yaaay 

[unproduciblesmackdown]

✨how did you get into MK? what position do u usually sleep in? How often do you spend on a piece of art that you take from sketch to colored? What are your favorite snack foods? Do you get your hair cut every 6 weeks and do you stick with the same look?✨

hmm mk is a bit of an anomaly for sure….even tho ive been sifting around webcomics for abt a decade now, i really only ever am keeping up w a handful and rarely actually pick up any new ones. i’m the same way w like, all other forms of media, like shows and music and stuff…its not like even me being all too critically picky, coz i can hardly ever convince myself to check out shit i know i do/will like. but anyways i suppose it was a couple yrs ago and me freezing my ass off in a barely-insulated terrible expensive apartment while dying of depression & it was the middle of the night & i wasnt tired, and sometimes i reread a comic coz i realize ive completely lost track of the plot or characters or something…so i was doing that and there was a guest comic by the artist for mk & i was like, well you know, thats cute and funny and i like how they draw, i’ll just put this in a separate tab and maybe come back to look at their comic for once in my life b/c its not like i hve anything better to do at like 4am. so i finished my reread and figured i’d check out at least a bit of mk & when it drops kip on you right off it took me like 2.5 pgs to he like “well so………he’s gay right? and a nerd?” and so then i was like, obviously i have to follow through on this Gay Lead. b/c i mean, you never really go into anything assuming that anybody will actually get to be Not Straight, no matter how obvious it seems b/c you can’t trust anyone. so even though its right there and makes no sense for him to be straight i was still like going along trying to keep my hopes down even tho there’s no other interpretation….even when the surprise came that he has a beautiful Ex Boyf & i had like a heart attack b/c that far along i was already like “woops i also love him” i was still like trying to come at it from some other angle like…… Maybe This Is Just… Um….. i dont remember but i was like ok but seriously this Has to be an ex right? i mean my god. anyway by that point i was also deeply invested in the fact that kip is v….v much many Char Types i love and xtreme relatable plus he’s flawless and deserves the best despite being doomed for the worst……. so anyways at that point it was like 7am & i was thrilled and yelling a bit about that sweet rare vindication of This Is All Gay Right and like gosh hope he gets kissed by like everybody…… and thats about how that went

oh god…… trying to find a sleeping position can be the worst a lot of the time. like, it changes up and i have to do the tossing and turning bit… sometimes its all huddled up and other times my body wants to be stretched out… im sabotaged by the whims of my body re its comfort tbh. like i’ll be fine in any position and then suddenly my limbs or hips or whatever decide they’re uncomfortable. the other week it was only sleeping on my stomach that was tolerable. i guess on avg i sleep on my side but theres no real standard position, i wish there was

phew i…honestly can rarely draw anything in a matter of less than hours. under 2 hours is shockingly rare. it depends on the day for sure, sometimes drawing comes more naturally, sometimes my focus is less terrible…. for a guess at whats average though, for like a usual drawing that i also add color to, i’d put it at maybe, 5-7 hrs? i’m awful at paying attention to when i start/stop something. and i have a lot of pauses in there b/c of the terrible focus bit. but usually i don’t do coloring thats too fancy so it only tends to add on a couple of hours to the lineart, which is helped along if i’m doing it digitally w how easy it is to erase stuff and not worry abt the sketch being too messy to clean up or whatever. sometimes i wish i could spend another eon on the coloring also, but you can spend just as much time on colors as the lineart and i like to do everything in one go too much for that really… plus just that i’m bad w colors and dont expect to ever be as good at them as with the lineart element of things. anyways tldr all you need to know is…i’m really slow :(

oh god snacks…. i love to eat anything really. i’ll make anything a snack or a meal or whatever. i like stuff like corn chips or just dry crackers… i like to eat cereal just plain… i’ll eat a box of corn chex any day. or a box of oreos probably in like one go. i am a fan of cookies and ice cream and everything. pretzel sticks are great too. fruit snacks are great… a few times ive just been in the mood to cut some like orange bell peppers into strips and eat that…carrots are amazing too… theres this cucumber/cream cheese dip that is…fantastic with chips. idk i like to eat most things

i actually used to tend to wait too long to get my haircut and put it off till it’d been like two months and was getting too long in the back and i hated it lol….. i know we’ve talked abt the Homophobia In The Salon how you have to try to wrangle the stylist into accepting that yes, you really want it that short, and keep them from trying to take it in their own direction. and i’m nervous enough w social stuff like that where i cant know what to say beforehand, and doubly nervous b/c of it being really stressful and exhausting for me to try to just like stick to what you actually want and explain this very simple cut to ppl who sometimes will act like they have no idea what you mean…and it would be triply difficult b/c back in the day i’d catch all this shit over having my hair as short as i wanted b/c my mom was having a whole internal shitstorm about me being a wholeass queer and so of course she was gonna flip out about how i look as if that will solve things for her. i always forget that i Was in fact abused for the ol “not seeming properly cishet” business. so the nervousness abt the haircut experience lingered!! but it helps that sometimes i’d find a really nice stylist who would be friendly and remember the general idea of the cut i liked, and i could stick with them and that was helpful. but for the past year i’ve really just been giving myself a continuous haircut myself w the occasional aid of a bathroom mirror, i’m not fancy. my Ideal Cut gradually got shorter and shorter over the years, w it now being maybe an inch and a half on top and shorter on the sides in that General Undercut format. i rly dont like much length on the back of the neck or by the ears lol…plus it doesnt help having glasses when your hair is getting too long. maybe it would be nice if i could someday dye it my favorite kind of blue, right. but in the meantime, as long as its short enough i’m good

#long post xoxo

[fanwarriorsunite4life]

So my bad anon, I totally ended up screwing up your ask and shiz by accident but i promise i got it- you wanted me to answer all questions so you got it:

lets get personal.

1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?

Its been varying a SHIT ton over the last two months especially, but ATM i currently love:

Body on Fire by Maggie Rose

Too Many Love Songs by Maggie Rose (notice a trend?)

B-A-B-Y by Carla Thomas

I Don’t Believe You - Pink

Life of the Party - All Time Low

Little Do You Know - Alex and Sierra

2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

um, all the people I’m gonna meet at ClexaCon in April! Celebs, other fans, and all! IM SO EXCITED ITS GONNA BE THE BEST FUCKING WEEKEND.

3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.

There isnt a book next to me? theres random magazines on the kitchen table. page 23 is an add for Poise Impressa bladder leakage shit lol

4: What do you think about most?

I kinda really want to plead the fifth on this, but probably two things: how I want to make my work ethic better and make a better difference and how I dont feel I can do that until I get my personal shit together. And how I really want a certain someone to be at my side while I do that so I can be on theirs too. guess thats 3.

5: What does your latest text message from someone else say?

From my lil sis: “Okay, np”

6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on?

lmao it depends. If im really exhausted, then i may sleep without a shirt. If im with a SO then I will sleep naked, but I dont ever do that myself unless I’m just that hungover or something. So clothes it is. 

7: What’s your strangest talent?

I honestly dont know lol. erm... let me get back to you on that. Does it count if my left leg is wayyy more flexible than my right? dont ask me why. i have no clue 

8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence)

girls are a gift to the world. boys are a gift to the world. 

9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?

Not that I am aware of. Fun (not fun) fact: I’m way more afraid of not being spoken of than being spoken of poorly. idk man. if anyone has written a poem or song about me, plz feel free to share

10: When is the last time you played the air guitar?

holy shit, i have no clue. usually im more of an air drums person. in that case, yesterday. 

11: Do you have any strange phobias?

I HATE SPUDS ON POTATOES SPUDDY POTATOES SCARE THE SHIT OUT OF ME DONT PLAY 

12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?

not that i reminder? maybe a coin or something as a kid? its very possible.

13: What’s your religion?

if i identified with anything, it would be an agnostic universalist.

14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

hanging out with friends and family

15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

behind, but i do have a secret desire to be in front of it. my insecurities currently outweigh my ego in putting myself in front of it, but if someone asked me to do it, i prob would. people just dont ask.

16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

Halestorm. Without a doubt.

17: What was the last lie you told?

oh god. I probably told one while canvassing today. I said i donated to one of the organizations that i represent but i dont. oops. did it to convince people that they are good orgs to donate too (in my defence, they ARE and they are wonderful orgs, i just dont have the money to donate)

18: Do you believe in karma?

yes, but i dont really use karma for consistent rationalization

19: What does your URL mean?

WE ARE ALL FAN WARRIORS OF OUR OWN FANDOMS AND WE SHOULD ALL FUCKING UNITE IN OUR AWESOMENESS

20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

Greatest weakness? I’m loyal to a fault and will fight for what I want till the bitter end. I’m recently admitting that I have the martyr complex, im pretty sure. Strength? You get me passionate about something, you gain my love, then I’m all in. I’ll work my ass off for whatever that is. 

21: Who is your celebrity crush?

Kat barrell and Natasha Negovanlis, as of rn. but i love so many others

22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

nope

23: How do you vent your anger?

i dont. i bottle it up and try to avoid it. I’ve been trying to go to the gym tho; that helps when i actually do it. writing helps too, when i do it. Definitely need to find a better way to deal with my emotions. its harder to find time during adult life mayn.

24: Do you have a collection of anything?

comics, poetry books, my own writings, quarter collection... probably something else im not thinking of

25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

FACETIME IS WHERE ITS AT

26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become?

Yes and no. 

27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?

Sound I hate? loud city noises, particularly construction shit. Love? ... I hate myself, but the sound of people I love telling me they love me too. SHUTUP ITS A SOUND I SAID NOTHING WHAT

28: What’s your biggest “what if”?

Usually its “What if I didn’t fuck up?” or “What if I was reincarnated into something?”

29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

I wanna believe in ghosts but i cant say i do. Aliens: hell yeah.

30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

Right - kitchen towel and my ECU bag and keys. Left - magazine and table

31: Smell the air. What do you smell?

my house’s normal smell. and food i just ate.

32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to?

My own mind at its worst. Or, physical place, probably a mental hospital.

33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?

I cant say; I’ve never been West. So East for now until I see the West.

34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?

I like never think about this. um. Zayn is cute?

35: To you, what is the meaning of life?

Finding a reason to breathe. Sometimes its family, friends, work, money, power- I think everyone’s meaning of life is different.

36: Define Art.

anything you make to express yourself or help yourself heal.

37: Do you believe in luck?

I kinda have too, I was an athlete.

38: What’s the weather like right now?

dark and cloudy.

39: What time is it?

7:07 pm and im totally running late to pick up my sis. (update - finishing this around 11:11 ooo make a wish cause i had to go get my sis so)

40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?

Yes. Never “crashed” but have hit someone before and have been hit.

41: What was the last book you read?

A poetry book by Lauren Zuniga. That counts.

42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?

No, but I like the smell of paint. 

43: Do you have any nicknames?

Laur-Laur, jiggles, cheesecake, Lo-ren, bean-bean.. others I dont think I should name i guess

44: What was the last film you saw?

Baby Driver

45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

Injury? Concussion. worst fucking thing of my life. it really was my fault though.

46: Have you ever caught a butterfly?

no

47: Do you have any obsessions right now?

oh god yes. if you know me, you know i always obsess. right now, carmilla and wynonna earp are my top two. easily.

48: What’s your sexual orientation?

bisexual, preference for women, fight me

49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?

I honestly dont know

50: Do you believe in magic?

I want too.

51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

yeah. Well, yes and no. i dont hold a grudge to never have them apart of my life usually, but i never forget what they did to me. never.

52: What is your astrological sign?

Leo

53: Do you save money or spend it?

lol spend. i need to save. so bad.

54: What’s the last thing you purchased?

groceries

55: Love or lust?

I know this may shock people that know me, but love. lust isnt any good without it. thats what i would pick if i had to choose, but i rather like the idea they exist together. they can exist separately, but they go best together for me personally.

56: In a relationship?

no, but i hope things will get better.

57: How many relationships have you had?

ones I actually really loved being in wholeheartedly? 1. total? 4. I’d say 5 but im not really counting one of them lol.

58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?

hell yeah

59: Where were you yesterday?

work and then home feeling down. then i played my video game, Just cause 3, till midnight

60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?

magazine

61: Are you wearing socks right now?

yes

62: What’s your favourite animal?

kangaroos and zebras

63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

... be a huge fucking dork and hope they dont fucking hate me

64: Where is your best friend?

.......the ones talking to me? charlotte, greensboro, greenville, raleigh (NC), texas... the one not talking to me? ... virginia/dc area

65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.

any of the ones with funny text posts/memes on wynonna earp and carmilla

66: What is your heritage?

im a white asshole with some native american in me. Choctaw. I need to learn more about my family history AND remember it.

67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?

finishing up playing my name

68: What do you think is Satan’s last name?

angelface

69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?

BWAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA dear fuck yes. duh. oh my fucking god im laughing so hard at this.

70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

loyal to a fault and there at your beck and call? yeah. not always the best listener? nah

71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

I’m gonna save the fucking dog and my boss can kiss my damn ass.

72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

I’d definitely tell people. At first I wouldn’t know how, and id contemplate if its important enough to tell or not, but eventually i would. id start with those close to me. idk if id want to tell everyone. id want to travel a damn lot with those i love. go new places, try new things, build as many memories as possible. because hell yeah id be afraid. I’m terrified of death and the afterlife; not knowing what happens after we pass. 

73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.

I think love is built on trust, so love. trust isnt always built on love.

74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

love on top, beyonce. literally saved my life freshman year of college.

75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?

F8ME

76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?

kinda a big one, especially for myself lately. um. I think a great relationship has a good foundation. because in the end, every relationship faces struggles and is gonna be “tested”, for lack of a better word. and what can we turn back to when we feel things arent where they need to be? the foundation. its like a house; if somethings wrong with it, but the foundation is still sturdy, its probably possible and worth fixing. if the foundation is cracked, its more risky; if the foundation is completely crushed, then its probably not a great relationship anymore.

77: How can I win your heart?

Unless you’re the person who currently has my heart right now, you can’t. or if you’re a dog. dogs win my heart. if you’re a dog, congrats. the person who has my heart has to share. sorry, i dont make the rules.

78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?

how is this a question? the craziest fucking people in the world are the most creative. Yes, yes, and more yes.

79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

this is intense. hmmmm. making a tumblr and going back on it in college. yeah. it led to my last relationship. best damn thing that ever happened to me.

80: What size shoes do you wear?

10 or 11

81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

I’d want someone else to write a poem or something about me. i dont want to be buried. cremation bitch (after taking my organs out for science of course)

82: What is your favourite word?

currently i really just like cussing. fuck.

83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.

the name of my current ex. 

84: What is a saying you say a lot?

We accept the love we think we deserve.

85: What’s the last song you listened to?

i legit am trying to look at my iphone to see what last played in my car, but its being an asshole. I wanna say the last i remember is Craving you by Thomas Rhett. im already listening to wayy more country than i usually do lately.

86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours?

in order: purple, blue, red

87: What is your current desktop picture?

A quote that says: “i know you’re sad, so i wont tell you to have a good day. Instead, I’ll simply advice you to have a day. Stay Alive, feed yourself well, wear comfortable clothes, and dont give up on yourself just yet. it’ll get better. until then, have a day.”

88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

Can I make an entire building explode? preferably -cough- a building that houses certain gov officials i am not happy with -cough-?

89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

Any question that I know would upset someone. I’m working on trying to not be honest to a fault. to be honest when need be, and to know when i dont need to be brutally honest. im terrified of being too honest again in general.

90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?

honestly, scream and be frozen in fear. idk man. wheres my baseball bat when i need it? idc if they arent doing anything, they need to GTFO of my room.

91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?

teleportation

92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

holy crap. wow. a half hour? idk. theres a lot. a recent one is the hayley kiyoko concert though. that concert was just absolutely phenomenal. 100/10

93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

I wouldnt erase any horrible experience, because they made me who i am and helped me learn what i know. if i hadnt experienced what i experienced, that one thing not happening can change my entire life.

94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

Honestly, right now, I wouldnt. and i dont think i ever would. i get too starstruck easily and have way too much respect and awe for the celebrities i like. i honestly do think of them as higher beings than me (not gods but like, ya know, out of my league lmao) so nah. now if we become friends and theyre a cuddler? then yes i will SLEEP next to them. SLEEP.

95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

i have that crazy urge to travel like a crazy person rn, so if i only had one free plane ticket, i’d go somewhere i otherwise couldnt right now, like italy. i really want to go to italy one day.

96: Do you have any relatives in jail?

not that im aware of, but who knows

97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?

...actually yes! I was severely dehydrated once and my mom had me drink 3 bottles of water back to back. then we got in the car and as she started driving, i got sick, so she pulled over and i sat there getting ready to vomit when a cop pulled over and was like “hey, you okay?” and my mom just explained i was sick, and as he walked over to look at me thats when i threw up ALLLLL that water. he stepped back so quick and was all like “do you want me to call an ambulance?”. it was great. thats how you get rid of cops. throw up in front of them (sarcasm)

98: Ever been on a plane?

Yup! ive flown to new hampshire and kansas before.

99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?

probably some long ass rant about how fucked up the world is and how we need to turn around our governments and get them to work back for the people, not for fucking corporations and capitalism, or the capitalistic aspects of socialism. 

#ask #anon