#maybe next time the adventurer should hit up talk to the dead service first before promise fulfilling

[scoundrels-in-love]

Deanna is the fridged wife from the tragic backstory of your good ole adventurer, and they meet in frigid wastes. Except this time, it's her story, and coping with the decisions made by this person, to return what was lost to this world, though she was at peace. And, yet, she came at his call.

The setting, the word choice, everything feels painfully symbolic and I really can only applaud the whole thing.

#rainy rambles #critical role #cr spoilers #deanna leimert #deanna #head in hands #literally so how about this time it's the story about the story device #aabria iyengar #i admire you so much #maybe next time the adventurer should hit up talk to the dead service first before promise fulfilling #ESPECIALLY IF YOU HAVE MOVED ON #WHAT ARE YOU BRINGING HER BACK TO? AN ECHO OF LIFE SHE WAS MEANT TO LIVE?!

[yanara126-writing]

The Adventures of Hildraed Dawnsbane -  Fucking Morals and Damnit Fine (5/?)

Farmer, Pirate, Menace, Captain, Dawnsbane. Hildraed has many titles, she really could have lived well without Watcher.

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Hildraed meets a certain chanter and is faced with the uncomfortable revelation that she might be making friends.

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Read here or on Ao3. (3224 words)

Have fun! Comments always welcome! :)

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The keep was… something. Something for sure. Even from a distance they could see the broken, rotting walls. How fitting. Certainly reflective of her mental state.

Mud stuck on her boots as she dragged them over the moist ground, not bothering to lift her feet. She could practically feel the elf boy’s disapproving glare. Well too bad for him, if she had suffer she’d at least look like it too, so nobody got any dumb expectations. Thankfully that message seemed to come across to her companions, because no one bothered her until they finally reached the outer walls.

Well, technically none of them bothered her then either, instead it was someone else, an island aumaua happily humming at a crumbling wall. Alright then. Sure there weren’t all that many fortresses in the Deadfire, but still this decaying pile of stones could hardly be that interesting.

“Fascinating brick wall, I’m sure.” Some distant part of her brain told her it probably wasn’t her greatest idea ever to immediately antagonize every random stranger just minding their own business, but she really, really didn’t give a shit right now. She winced at another painful pulse shooting through her head.

Fortunately the stranger didn’t seem to mind either way.

“Oh, it is! Or the wall itself maybe not, it is a very traditional build. But here look! An inscription! The builders most likely, signing their work. Isn’t it fascinating?” The aumaua was smiling at her now, his terrible sincerity completely frying Hildraed’s brain. That and the Rauataian accent. That was a bit unexpected.

Once again the stranger didn’t seem to mind her undoubtedly rude, mindless stare, for he didn’t even wait for an answer before continuing his excited babble.

“But the truly interesting part is in there." He points a piece of charcoal in his hand at the gates. "...and I haven't had much luck in reaching the keep itself. I hoped to find the master of this place - a man by the name of Maerwald - but it seems that he either holds his privacy most dear or else has been devoured by his houseguests.” Somehow, not even his with sharp teeth infested grin he seemed threatening. How could a humanoid shark look so cuddly? Oh wait, he probably expected an answer.

„Mjam. Old man, delicious.“ Oh well, not the worst thing she’d ever said. That opinion quickly changed when the stranger’s loud, bellowing laugh nearly made her go cross-eyed from the headache.

“For some fellows I’m sure! But personally I’d prefer a talk over making a meal of him. You see, I’ve travelled far and wide over Eora in search of the Tanvii ora Toha. You know it?” Unfortunately. Though she hadn’t encountered a ton of Rauataians (or at least not many willing to have a talk), there had been a few. And they tended to talk when drunk. Often unbidden and at length.

Okay that was a lie, Hildraed had always sucked up knowledge like a sponge, so of course she had interrogated everyone in reach for anything interesting or useable. Not that this guy needed to know that. Why had they been talking about that again? Oh yes. Wait what?

“Sure, sure. But why should it be here?” Still undeterred his grin grew even wider.

“Now that is the question isn’t it? I have no idea! But still the traces are leading me here. Unfortunately I haven’t had much luck breaching the defences, however unintentional they are.” For the first time during their conversation something other than rampant enthusiasm appeared on his face. If she hadn’t known better Hildraed might have called it sly. Oh who was she kidding, she didn’t know any better. “There must be some reason you’re here, is there not? I’m certain together we’ll have better chances to reach the fort than alone!” His eyes wandered over to the side. Oh yes, she wasn’t travelling alone. If she was forgetting this already the headache was slowly becoming more dangerous than annoying. Still very annoying though. “That is, if your companions don’t mind me joining.”

The elf boy did look miffed, but when did he not? And he didn’t seem inclined to deny the protection another party member would bring, so Hildraed counted him on board. She doubted the farmer would be an issue, but then again what did she know about these people. She turned around to him. And promptly did a double take at his dopey grin.

“’Long as you don’t try to hang me off a tree, I’m square.” Hildraed blinked. Perhaps it wasn’t actually her, perhaps people just talked to this man like that. And from the way he STILL grinned that was probably not farfetched.

“That I believe is a promise I can make. I don’t even think any of the trees left here would be able to hold you.” Yep, that settled it. Everyone else here was just as insane as her. How comforting. “Now to official introductions, my name is Kana. Kana Rua. At your service.” What followed was hat flourish that made Hildraed actually home sick. How come everyone had an awesome hat except her?

Introductions were quickly done away with (or so Hildraed thought, at this point she couldn’t be sure of anything), and they set off for the keep. The sooner they were inside the better.

Unfortunately the mentioned house guests apparently disagreed with that sentiment. As soon as they set foot into the courtyard they were set upon by multiple shades, followed by some phantoms, all of them very angry.

And at this point Hildraed was too. Her head was hurting like a bitch, nothing made sense in this damn place, and even the fucking wildlife wanted to skin her. She was tired. Oh so tired. But she was also absolutely livid.

The shades swarmed them, phantoms following up close and the banter died down. Swords slashed against strange, mist like flesh in an uncomfortably screeching noise, spells were muttered and let loose in stabbingly bright flashes of colours.

And Hildraed screamed. As soon as the creatures were within range she let loose howl so disharmonic it could barely be counted as a chant. The spirits, hanging dark and heavy in the air, almost seemed to screech along with her as they were pushed back, but they had no chance to compete with Hildraed’s pure rage. There was no one around anymore, just her and (soon to be) dead bastards.

Feet on moist earth, cool air of the evening brushing almost gently across her cheek, thuds in her ears, red in her eyes, heavy breath from her throat. Gravity pulling at her she fell into every swing, using momentum to rip her broadsword back up. A deadly dance accompanied by her furious chants. One she had danced and sung many, many times. One she had not actually wanted to dance and sing again.

And that cost her. She was tired, angry, frustrated. And also no longer used to solid ground as her dance floor. She stepped forward, swinging her sword upwards in anticipation of a wave that didn’t come. The sword went wide. The weight pulled her along, eyes wide as her balance tipped. Her breathed hitched, a second to long for the chorus, and her next verse slipped out of her grasp. The familiar sensation of an ended chant was just as horrifying as her fall. A lost chant was a lost life in battle, be it hers or her crew, most likely both.

Her back hit the ground with a heavy thump, her sword clanking right next to her, ripped aside with a well-trained reflex to not impale her. Not that it would do her much good anymore.

One more clank, this time from above her. A back to her, broad, and blond hair on the head above it. What?

Suddenly her head burned hot for a second, and the world was back in sharp focus. The farmer in front of her fending off the phantom she’d attempted to decapitate, from behind her a chant. Her chant. Well not anymore, now with a halfway clear head again she could feel that chant had not dissolved when she’d lost hold of it, instead someone else had picked it up and continued it. Somebody who sounded like they had shark teeth.

The light of a Minoletta spell stabbed her eyes for once she was glad for the headache it caused (strangely reduced now from before), as it finally triggered her fighting instincts again. She rolled over, carefully avoiding the sword (and getting grass stains all over herself for it) and dragged herself back up.

She allowed herself one glance backwards, which told her that indeed the newcomer was a chanter, and not a bad one at that, and also that she should most certainly remain on the front line with the farmer. The elf boy looked both determinedly terrified and very squishy, and though the sharkman could probably take a hit, there was no need to risk the chant breaking again.

Ripping her eyes away from the first chanter she’d seen in a long, long time, she heaved her sword back up and fell into a defensive position between their main fighter and the squishy wizard. Not a position she was used to, but she would manage.

The fight didn’t continue for much longer, as her companions had made short work of the spirits while she’d been in a bloodthirsty (smokethirsty? Aetherthirsty? Maybe ask the wizard later) rage. Few hits managed to get through to her, and though she would have been hard pressed to admit it, it was probably for the best. The voice from behind her was deeply distracting. He wasn’t singing her phrases anymore. Neither did he sound much like her. But she- she liked it. It was nice. Unfamiliar.

The last shadow disintegrated and a loud collective sigh moved through the group. The wizard was obviously very desperately trying not to hug his grimoire for comfort, the fighter was drenched in sweat like he’d been dropped into the sea, and the- the chanter’s hat was close to falling off, much like his by now wavering grin.

And they’d made it barely through the courtyard.

Fuck.

Hildraed was very tempted to just let herself fall into the giant, overgrown flowerbed next to them and wait for the ground to just swallow her. But then again, she’d lead a crew for too long to give in to that impulse. The close house it was then. The keep itself would definitely be infested, but perhaps, hopefully, the house had been spared this fate. They’d see. At the very least it couldn’t be too many in the enclosed space, and Hildraed really, really didn’t want to camp again. Or at least she didn’t want to camp outside in the cold anymore.

“Ladies, we’re trying our luck in the house.” Despite her desperate need to fall over again, she waited for the others to shuffle past her, in the elf’s case with a badly suppressed glower at her word choice. Which was indeed very funny and Hildraed could feel her lips twitch upwards. And though in other situations she would have relished in the mirth, perhaps right now wasn’t time for this. Sadly.

Thankfully, no one had any other objections (in fact she was almost sure the singing shark had found it funny.) and they made their way over to the house with only their general grumpiness as an obstacle.

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The inside of the house was hardly comfortable, but Hildraed had slept in worse places. She certainly didn’t want to stay in this shithole, but it was acceptable for a night, if it would keep her out of the wind.

That was what she kept telling herself, continuously plucking out gravel from her ass and back, as she had made the grave mistake of attempting to lie down. Or more accurately, she had flopped down and immediately cursed herself. Loudly.

That in turn had made the elf into a blushing, stammering mess, and he’d fled into a corner digging his nose into a book. Which he had from… somewhere. Hildraed wasn’t quite sure where, but she wasn’t about to ask. Mostly because she was curious how long it would take him to admit that he was sitting on a sharp stone.

“Ow.” She grimaced and winced as she pulled out (probably) the last pebble. She hoped these weren’t like sand. Sand you’d find in the weirdest places days later. Much like companions apparently.

One of which had left to check out the stairs up and had yet to return. Strange noises were coming from the direction of hallway, but as none of them were growls or shouts, Hildraed was willing to ignore them. She didn’t know what the lonely farmer was doing in the back that would cause minor rockslides, and frankly she had no intention to find out.

A fire was lit in the middle of the room, next to the broken fountain. The structure might have been beautiful once, but now it was barely more than a heap of rubble. A shame really. Not that Hildraed cared. It wasn’t like the thing reminded her of the old church, the only impressive construction in her old village. It wasn’t like they’d had anything like it there, a small pool in which she’d played with the other children during her childhood. Nope, not at all.

With that thought she slumped down on the ground (carefully making sure to not repeat her mistake), her back to the structure, and poked the fire a bit. It crackled in front of her, warm and bright, while at the same time dousing the room in an ominous shadow, flames dancing on the walls in a constantly changing rhythm.

“Are you alright?” The voice sounded genuinely concerned, which surprised Hildraed more than the sudden words. She looked up through the flames, and her stupidly poetic with exhaustion brain tried to jumpstart another ramble at the sight of the aumaua’s changed skin colour. She was tempted to try and find a stick to beat her head with, but somehow, she didn’t think that would be very helpful. She sighed.

“Are any of us?” Another dumb thought she hadn’t wanted to voice. The crew didn’t need to know her own insecurities. Thankfully, the awkward silence was broken by another one of their companions.

“The stairs up are completely collapsed. Before anything from up there could attack us, it’d break its neck coming down.” Edér stepped out from the side room, rubbing his neck, rubble stuck all over his clothes and his hair. At least he hadn’t broken his neck. With whatever he was doing. Since his clothes only seemed dirty and not actually all that dishevelled though, she felt almost bad for her inner monologue’s implications. Only almost though, because obviously he’d still been dumb enough to crawl around there.

He flopped down next to them, giving Aloth and his book a cursory glance. Only to immediately grimace in regret again. Hildraed snorted.

An awkward silence followed. Hildraed stared into the flames. But really what should she say to these people? She didn’t know them, not really. She was just sitting in these fucking pebbles with them. Right? And why would she want to know them, knowing them brought responsibilities, knowing them would mean having to take care of them. She was done with that life, she didn’t have a crew anymore and didn’t want one. The fact that she had referred to them as such meant nothing. Old habits, nothing more.

“Would you sing with me?” What?

“What?” Hildraed blinked at- at- Kana. His name was Kana.

“Would you sing with me?” Nope, not any clearer, not even with his grin restored. “Your form in the fight was fascinating, and I would be honoured if you were to give me the opportunity of a chant with you.” He was looking at her over the fire with this shining, honest smile, and for a second Hildraed could feel her heart break. Gods be damned he was cute. He was a full grown man with the enthusiasm of a child. No she couldn’t keep looking at this, his excitement might actually melt her.

Unfortunately, for some reason, turning away didn’t help. On her other side sat- Edér. And though he wasn’t quite as high level excitement, he looked terribly derpy with his dusty face and clothes, and also intrigued at the concept of show. Which she was not giving. She wasn’t a fucking circus horse.

And the- Aloth, sitting across the room, doing a horrible job of subtly eyeing them with interest over his book would change nothing about it. Not even his embarrassing blush at having been spotted.

Oh who was she still trying to lie to. She had tried to keep her distance and had failed, now she might as well enjoy what she got out of it.

The self-revelation came and took the last bit of her adrenaline though. If she was going to give them a show, it would at least be an impressive one. She sighed, and for some reason it felt strangely liberating.

“Fine, boy, but not right now. First a nap. I couldn’t hit a note right now if I tried.” Now that was probably a lie, but she still wouldn’t be good. She almost didn’t dare look up, in fear that he had also mastered the sad puppy look, which might just be fatal for her conviction. Regrettably, her eyes drifted over on their own, and though he looked a little disappointed, Kana either couldn’t or didn’t want to utilize the sad puppy dog look. For Hildraed there were reasons to hope for both.

And while she was already looking at him, she couldn’t help but eye him.

“You know, you could bolster your chances for tomorrow by being my pillow for tonight.” He stared at her with surprise, and Hildraed wanted to bite herself. She was mushy enough, no need to make it worse! (And what if she’d made him uncomfortable now?)

The moment passed though, and his grin returned full force. Instead of giving a verbal answer he just opened his arms expectantly. Before he (or she) could come to their senses and realize just how stupidly mushy they were being, she turned to the side, putting her head on his thigh. (Which was exactly as comfortable as it looked.)

This however put her into the uncomfortable position of having to see Edér’s slightly jealous glances, and Aloth’s now more frequent shifting. She rolled her eyes.

“Fine, come here, bear, we don’t want anyone getting pneumonia here. And kid, please just come to the fire at least, there’s no need to skulk. And also pull that stone out of your bum, you’re proving nothing.”

Before she could see their reaction she turned into the other direction, entirely ignoring the shuffling behind and beside her. She didn’t care what they doing. Okay she did, but at least for now that was only her business.

Which is why she definitely didn’t ask: “How about a demonstration if you’re still so fit?”

Which is why she definitely didn’t feel vindicated at the excited answer.

Which is why she certainly didn’t fall asleep to the velvety tunes of a Rauataian hymn.

#Pillars of Eternity #writing #Kana Rua #Edér Teylecg #Aloth Corfisor #hildraed #cursing #fanfiction #making friends

[third-generation-female-warrior]

Every Failure

So, this is about the Final Vault adventures, so I’ma warnin’ you now, don’t read if you want to be spoiler free! Any other discerning party, this is my take on the Final Vault from Jacob Johnson’s POV, since he never really talked about his experience in the game, so it give me plenty of potential to work with! Maybe I’m just biased, but I like to think my Jacob is a compelling and cool older brother, I just don’t do much with him, though I really should. So, if you’re interested, maybe here for some Jacob angst, feel free to check it out! Words: 2,000+

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One tentative step forward. That was all he took, one tentative step.

His boot landed on just a solid black ground. He was unable to distinguish if it was wood or stone. Grass, dirt, water, sand, snow, it was impossible to tell. It was just solid. There was no light to guide him. Everything in his vision was an all-encompassing, never ending blackness. It wasn’t threatening to swallow him, it already had. It was suffocating, there was nothing. He was the only something for eternity. The only thing with a consciousness. Would he be stuck here another eight years? Might as well, it’s a good amount of time for a much needed proper think.

All the same, Jacob Johnson looked around, pulling out his wand, bracing himself for any dangerous thing that he was bound to come across.

He wasn’t sure if this was the Final Vault. Or was this 'R's doing? Had he been struck blind? No, he could see himself, he held up his hand in front of his face to confirm. But he couldn’t see anyone. The last thing he remembered, his little sister had touched the column in the Vault, and then a sudden pain in his chest sent him reeling, collapsing to his knees. It inflicted the others too, he remembered that. The other two Alexus had brought with her to the Vault.

"Alexus?" He called. His voice was silenced the second it left his mouth, no echo, just absorption. His words were his own. Never to reach anyone else. Not while he was… wherever he was.

"Anyone?" Jacob tried again, but again, his words were swallowed by the darkness. What of the other two chaps? He couldn't quite remember either of their names.

"It started with an M…" he muttered to himself, trying to think of their names. Was this a curse? Forgetfulness? Or was he just too self-absorbed to bother with their names, their faces? Or maybe he was just bad with names and faces? "Meryl?” he whispered, but that wasn’t quite right. “Mer…ula! Merula! That's it! Merula." He nodded, satisfied.

"Jacob…"

That single word sent a course of adrenaline through him as he whirled around, holding his wand in front of him, pointing, only to come face to face with his mother. She was perfectly visible, even if everything was dark.

He froze before quickly lowering his wand. "Mum?” he whispered, unable to speak any louder. “What are you doing here?" He hadn't seen his mother in… years, since he was sixteen and running away from the world. He missed her so much, he felt his heart was about to explode as it pulsed in his throat. He swallowed, biting his lip to hold back tears.

She looked at him, stiff with her arms holding herself. Her eyes were red, stains on her cheeks. He had only seen his mother cry once, and it was a terrible day.

"Jacob, darling, there's something I have to tell you."

"Mum, I’m so sorry..." He slowly walked to her, holding out his arms.

"Jacob, it's about your dad." She didn’t move to reciprocate his hug.

He stopped, confused. His father?

"Those were the police at the door, and…" she broke off, sobbing. She pressed her hand to her mouth.

Jacob looked around. Even if everything was dark, he remembered the day his mother said those exact words. What a terrible day that was.

"He was hit by a car, on his way back. Jacob, your father is dead."

She moved to throw her arms around him, but before they connected, she disappeared. He was alone in the dark again, a cold shiver running through him, feeling like ice water had been poured through him. He looked behind him. Had he hallucinated that whole thing? Was he going mad? It wouldn't be the first time, after eight years in a portrait, sanity was hard to understand, much less cling to.

Jacob sighed and ran his hands through his hair, remembering that terrible day. He was only twelve-years-old when his father died. He was home from his first year at Hogwarts, and his father had only gone to the store for a loaf of bread, insisting that he would not be happy until he satisfied his craving for toast. His father had walked the distance, since it was a sunny day and the market was only a few blocks away. He was struck on a crosswalk, the driver's brakes had gone out.

Jacob's mother cried for days. Alexus was so young, she hardly understood, but she still clung to his side because she understood that something was bad and her dad would never come back from the store.

Now, though, Jacob doubted she remembered that day, and he wondered if she even remembered their father. She wore his necklace with his service tags to the Vault, but he didn’t remember if she wore it in any of their other encounters.

He remembered their father quite well, the pain of losing him never really going away, even now, as he was twice the age he was when he lost him.

He took a breath. He needn't lose his mind, especially not now. He had to find Alexus before she got hurt or experienced something similar. She was depending on him.

"Are you the missing fugitive?"

He turned and pulled out his wand, a second all he needed to process the scene.

"Alexus, watch out!" He shouted.

There was his sister, staring up at the wizard in white robes.

In a split second, the wizard pulled out his wand and snapped it at Alexus, sending her flying, sprawling onto her back.

Jacob slashed his wand, sending the most furious spell he could think of, but the wizard disappeared in the dark. He turned around, but Alexus was gone too.

"Alexus!" He shouted.

‘R’ was here? Had they taken her? Was she battling against dark wizards around him now, as he was lost in an infinite darkness? Could she see or was every attack a surprise? Wait. Hadn't… hadn't he seen that happen? At the shore of the Black Lake, he reached his sister almost too late, he had to chase off that wizard, no time to reunite with Alexus, he had to protect her. All he wanted to do was protect her.

He shook his head, trying to clear it. He didn’t have time for a trip down memory lane. He needed to get out of wherever this place was. 

“Johnson.”

Jacob sighed, that too familiar voice addressing him from behind. He didn’t turn around.

“We recognize that the death of Duncan Ashe may have been tragic, and while you taking the fall was commendable, need we remind you of what’s at stake?”

Jacob remembered this exact conversation. He remembered his reply. Back when he was still a cocky sixteen-year-old, freshly expelled from Hogwarts, riddled with his rebellious attitude. He remembered telling ‘R’ to shove it up their arse and that he wanted nothing to do with the Vaults anymore.

“You don’t have that choice, Johnson. You know what you need to do next. So take your new wand and continue searching.”

“What’s stopping me from just leaving this all behind?” Jacob muttered to himself. Some higher up of ‘R’ was berating him, way back then. He had broken his own wand right before the expulsion, but now they wanted him to enter the Buried Vault with Rakepick and Pettigrew.

“I might not be able to name a reason, but I’m sure your sister could. Didn’t she just turn eight? You missed her birthday, right? For the sake of protecting her? It would be a shame if it was all for not.”

He clenched his fists. “You leave her alone, you just leave her alone, she’s just a kid,” he said through gritted teeth, looking down at his shoes.

This was his fault. Wherever he was, he probably deserved it. He should have given the Vaults up when he had the chance, then he would have never disappeared. Alexus would have never needed to find him. She was sixteen now. She wasted half her life looking for him as he had wasted half of his.

He should have left them… but he couldn’t. He had to keep her safe. Everything he did, he did for his sister. Right?

He stumbled, taking one step after another before he hit a barrier. He pressed his hands forward, but there was no give to the darkness. He tried to step back, but he couldn’t. His legs couldn’t move forward or backwards. He slammed his fist into the barrier, but no give. He knew this feeling. He pounded on the barrier with both fists. Trapped for eight years, he would never forget it. Every time he closed his eyes, he was back in that portrait.

“LET ME OUT!” he shouted, trying with all his strength to move forward or backwards. He lowered his head, his fists resting on the barrier.

“Please…” he whispered, “Please…”

Suddenly, the barrier gave away, and he tumbled forward. He caught himself, landing on his arms. He took a breath, shuddering as he slowly pushed himself up.

“Jacob,” his mother said as he was on his knees.

He looked up, and she was staring, but she wasn’t looking at him.

“Jacob, darling, there’s something I have to tell you.”

He sighed and stood up. “I know, I know…”

“Jacob, it’s about your dad.”

“I know. It was the police, they were at the door and-”

“Those were the police at the door, and…” he watched as she broke down again. "He was hit by a car, on his way back. Jacob, your father is dead!"

“I know he’s dead!” Jacob shouted as his mother reached to embrace him, but disappeared again. “It’s the one thing that wasn’t my fault! I tried to be a good role model for Alexus and I know I failed! Is that what you want to hear?” he shouted, looking around. Who was doing this?

"Are you the missing fugitive?"

He turned and saw Alexus being struck again. She should have never been on that shore. She should have never been targeted by ‘R’.

“I know this is all my fault,” he said, quieter.

“Johnson.”

He pressed his hands over his ears, trying to drown it out. “I don’t need to hear it anymore. I’ve accepted that it’s my fault. Everything I’ve done, I’ve put my family in danger.”

“We recognize that the death of Duncan Ashe may have been tragic, and while you taking the fall was commendable, need we remind you of what’s at stake?”

“I know what’s at stake, that’s why I’m here!” He squeezed his eyes shut.

“You don’t have that choice, Johnson. You know what you need to do next. So take your new wand and continue searching.”

“The search is over! This is the last Vault!”

“I might not be able to name a reason, but I’m sure your sister could. Didn’t she just turn eight? You missed her birthday, right? For the sake of protecting her. It would be a shame if it was all for not.”

“Whatever this is, whatever this curse is, you can have me, just let them go!”

He was frozen, again, in his spot. “This is payback, isn’t it?” he asked the darkness, “My retribution? I thought I paid my dues when I was in that portrait. That was my punishment for my hubris. Is this my punishment for continuously letting her down? For letting everyone in my life down?”

He fell to his knees as he was released, folding in on himself. He didn’t get back up.

“Jacob,” his mother started tentatively.

“Jacob!”

He frowned. That wasn’t his mother’s voice.

He looked up in time to see Merula Snyde grab his jacket lapel and hoist him up to his feet before throwing her weight against him, shoving him back.

Jacob stumbled a few feet before tripping on his heel, and falling onto his back, colliding with solid stone, the world was no longer an infinite darkness.

He was back in the underwater cavern, the one they were in before they reached the Vault. With its green stone walls where the water’s reflection danced along it. The ever present trickling and splashing as droplets cascaded onto the rocks and streams of water moved around the stone platform they were on.

After being trapped in a portrait for eight years, he would have never thought he would have taken sensations for granted anymore, but here he was, appreciating every single shade of green and grey, every echo on the stone, because he was once again, cruelly reminded that it all could be ripped away from him in a second. Tangible exits, living people, sound, color, smell, touch. He would never take any of it for granted again.

He relished the cold stone on his hands as he took deep breaths of lakewater air, pushing himself up to his feet. He looked at the two people staring at him, Merula and Ben. His chest panged as he realized one of them was missing.

“Where’s Alexus?” he asked, his words echoed off the stone and water, reaching other ears that weren’t his own, no longer swallowed by darkness.

“I’m going back for her,” Merula said quickly before rushing back into the Vault.

Jacob smoothed out his jacket, trying to regain his composure, knowing better than to follow her for a multitude of reasons.

“For a hardened wizard, you’re in quite a shock,” Ben remarked, jutting out his chin as he looked at the older man.

Jacob stared at him for a second before adjusting his scarf, choosing to ignore the taunting tone of the young Gryffindor. “I’ve seen quite a bit, and being forced to relive the worst of it… it’s not ideal.” He ran his hands through his hair, pushing it back. He had to keep a clean appearance, he wouldn’t let Alexus see any struggle.

“What did you see?” Ben asked.

Jacob looked at the entrance to the Vault.

In the distance, he heard yelling, an angry, indiginative, challenging yell that was definitely Alexus shouting at the ghosts from her past.

He swallowed and clenched his fists, steeling his nerves, grounding himself to their world again. “I saw… the monument of all my failures.”

#hphm #hogwarts mystery #hphm jacob #hogwarts mystery jacob #hogwarts mystery mc #hphm mc #hphm jacob's sibling #jacob's sibling #hphm merula #hphm ben #hogwarts mystery ben #hogwarts mystery merula #hphm merula snyde #hphm ben copper #acj writes

[endlessly-searching-for-you]

There’s Always Another Summer

It all started on La Huerta, and it all ended here—or so it seemed. After Taylor used her connection to Vaanu to help Rourke, the whole world had been changed, and the change was not for the better. Finding her way in the dystopian empire, she tries to reconnect with her friends, build a relationship with her newfound family, find the love she had lost… and change the fate of an entire planet once again.

Chapter 1: All Gone Wrong

Masterlist / Chapter 2 »

A/N: Ah, where do I start? I first got the idea in July, in La Huerta tapas bar (no kidding), and it was supposed to be a series of drabbles/one-shots. But you know how these things go, and now it’s full series. If I ever finish it. (If I don’t, ping me. Seriously! I already know how it ends, why shouldn’t you)

The story starts after the events of Rourke’s ending, and it’s focusing on friendships and adventure rather than romance. It’s still based on my playthrough, where Taylor married Jake, so if you don’t like these two together, I’m sorry. If you do, I’m sorry.

Some parts were written in my first language and translated into English. I tried my best to find and fix any mistakes that happened in the process (and believe me, I won’t do it again, it’s twice the job), but if you see something I missed, feel free to tell me (that’s how I learn!). All mistakes are mine and mine alone. All characters (sadly) belong to Pixelberry. I’m just borrowing them for an eternity while.

Tags: @brightpinkpeppercorn​ @zaffrenotes​ @politicallycorrectinnocentteen @ifyouseekheart​; thanks for the vote of confidence guys! I hope you either enjoy it or forgive me ;-) happy Thanksgiving, or just happy Thursday!

It’s all gone wrong Heaven hold us Where do we go When it’s all over? — Raign

To say things were bad, was to say nothing at all. It didn’t seem that way at first. Sure, the world would have been better without Rourke calling himself the emperor, but on the outside, things looked good. The sun was still shining, the sky was still blue, people still lived, loved, laughed. You couldn’t see something was wrong until you started digging. One day you could hear your neighbor murmuring some angry words at the government; the next, everyone pretended they never existed. If you knew who to ask, you could learn some rumors about friends-of-my-second-cousin who went into service and never came back. Or even darker stories about those who did—and weren’t the same people anymore.

And it was all Taylor’s fault.

There wasn’t a day when she didn’t regret her decision. Time after time, Rourke proved they shouldn’t trust him, and she still took his offer. What little powers she had, she gave up for a promise of a better life. All because Jake asked. That night was forever ago, but the look on his face kept haunting her. Every time she closed her eyes, she saw his blue eyes looking at her pleadingly, cheeks wet with tears—please, it would mean everything to me. He hated the guy’s guts and still begged her to go with his plan. She could, and should have, said no. She didn’t.

Not that there was much she could do, anyway. Yes, agreeing to Rourke’s plan wasn’t their only option. They could stay on the island and watch the world burn, or—she felt a pang of guilt—she could save them all by sacrificing herself. It would be the right thing to do, one life exchanged for billions of others. Movie heroes wouldn’t hesitate. Hell, even Mike didn’t, just moments earlier. Maybe if she was a better person...? No! No, one thing for sure, she wasn’t a selfish monster—at least that’s what she kept telling herself. It was just hard to believe it anymore.

“Nevermind,” she thought, shaking her head. What’s been done has been done, and thinking about what could have been was a waste of time. The world was full of people who signed up without reading the fine print, Taylor wasn’t the first, and she certainly wouldn’t be the last one. And as much as she hated to admit it, Rourke kept his end of the deal—kind of. Her friends might not remember her, but at least they were safe. Jake got Mike back, and they were both alive, just far from being fine. And she... she got the family she always wanted.

A brief smile crossed Taylor’s lips. Family. It was surprising, but Rourke did a great job picking her parents. They seemed like one of the good ones, and she sometimes wondered who they really were. Did he know them before it all happened? Were they a figment of his imagination that came true? Either way, it was easy to believe they were related. She somehow seemed to have both of her parents’ qualities combined; her father’s easygoing attitude and (a bit too short) temper, her mother’s charm, wit, and overprotectiveness. Even their appearance was on point, from the messy hair of her father to her mother’s calm smile. There were photos of their three together, keepsake boxes, scrapbooks, and the new memories of a happy childhood.

It was a beautiful picture, indeed. Only when the first excitement faded away, Taylor realized there was hardly anything more than that. There was no meaning and no depth behind the picture. A psychopath like Rourke wouldn’t know the difference, but she did. The most important things—love, affection, trust—were missing. No matter how hard she tried, how badly she wanted to believe it was all real, it didn’t work. Finally, one day, she snapped and tried to tell her parents the truth. Okay, she had to admit, maybe the Sunday dinner wasn’t the best time to do it—but there would never be a good time for it anyway. It didn’t go too well, and now that she thought about it, she couldn’t tell what she expected. Even Diego didn’t believe her story, why would they be different?

“Are you still with me, Taylor?”

She blinked a few times. Where was she? Ah, yes, the weekly therapy session. The argument caused her parents to show the first real emotion in months: fear. It wasn’t that surprising. The fact they weren’t afraid of her, but for her, was. Maybe they did care, after all. They didn’t report her to the thought police, or whatever name Rourke gave to his force; they brought a professional who was supposed to help.

“I’m sorry. I—it’s hard for me to talk about it.” God, when did she learn to lie like that? Ever since she realized her therapist was one of the people who loved the sound of their own voice, she spent their sessions daydreaming about one thing or another. The chatter was merely background noise, and all she did was coming up with a generic response when it stopped. No wonder the therapy wasn’t working at all.

“Ah, that’s understandable.” The therapist shot what was probably supposed to be an encouraging smile, but actually reminded Taylor about a giant barracuda. “As I said, the brain can create false memories, especially after traumatic events. It tries to protect you and replaces the painful memory with a fake one. It could be anything. Something from a book you have read, or a movie—”

Oh, if only you knew, Taylor smiled bleakly at the round-faced woman. It would have been a hell of a lot easier if it was just a book or a movie, or even something entirely made up by her imagination. Yes, her brain made up things to fill the void, only it wasn’t what they all thought. It made up all things that made her human. How was she supposed to live with that? She dropped her head and stared at her worn-out shoes when a sudden realization hit her like a hammer. Hell, her brain made up her own name. From a freaking sneaker label. How come she didn’t see it earlier?

Suddenly, she was ripped out of the office, hurtling through space and time, and when she opened her eyes, all she could see was red. She doubled over in pain, touching her forehead to her knees. She felt something sticky, and to her horror, realized it was blood. It was in her eyes, on her hands, her legs, the warm sand, everywhere—

“What’s your name?” She heard a faint whisper, and a weak hand grabbed her arm.

I can’t remember! She wanted to scream, but no sound came out. I don’t know. My name? Do I have one? I don’t think so. Should I? She lowered her head again, trying to stop it from spinning, and then she saw it. Yes. Might as well be it. Chuck doesn’t seem like a girl’s name, but—

“Taylor. My name’s Taylor.”

“I’m—” the hand she was holding went limp, and she knew it was over. Whoever it was, they were gone, and she didn’t even get to know their name. Gone, just like that. She looked around and realized they were all dead. Twelve young people, with their whole lives ahead of them, were now gone for good.

She was on her own.

Taylor gasped for air, and the sudden pain in her chest brought her back to reality. A small drop of blood fell onto her shoes, and she felt sick. It was just a flashback, a memory of a life that wasn’t even entirely her own—but it was too much. She pushed the chair, murmured an apology, and ran from the office. Air. She needed some air, stat, or else she’ll throw up. Everything seemed to blur in a hurry—

“Hey, watch out!”

“Oof! I’m so sorry!” Taylor steadied herself against the wall and took a deep breath. She recognized the voice, red hair, blue eyes, even the white shirt was the same. “I didn’t see you. Really sorry about that. Are you alright?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. My coffee, that’s another story. What—” The redhead gasped. “Oh, God. You’re bleeding.”

“It’s nothing. A little bloody nose, that’s all. I’m sorry about your coffee, Quinn.”

“Wait.” The redhead drew her brows together. “How did you know my name? Have we met?”

“Yeah. The first day of uni, by the fountain, remember me? I didn’t make the best first impression, I’m afraid.” Taylor chuckled, relieved. “And now I completely blew the second one. Why don’t we go to the cafe across the street and I’ll make it up to you. You know, third time’s the charm? Please?”

Quinn’s face fell. “I can’t. I have an appointment with Dr. Andrews.”

“I just left her office, and let me tell you, she sucks.” Taylor winced. “Big time. Please? I won’t tell anyone. And if you want to talk, I’m a good listener.”

“Ah, to hell with it. After you!” Quinn laughed, and they ran down the hallway, giggling like two fifth-graders skipping classes. They were already at the door when she stopped and looked over her shoulder with a frown. “Crap! She saw us.”

“Who?”

“My friend. Michelle. She’s an intern here.”

Taylor turned to look at another familiar face. With her white coat and hair tied into a high ponytail, Michelle looked almost like her older counterpart from Vaanu’s ember of hope. At least one of us is making her dreams come true, she thought with a smile. “Don’t worry. This one’s on me. If she gives you any trouble, you know who to blame!”

She was right about the third time being better than the previous two. They had one coffee, then another one, a few cupcakes, talked, laughed... almost as if they knew each other their whole lives.

“There you are! Why don’t you answer my calls?” Diego dropped into the chair and looked at them with reproach. “I finally got the perfect title! What do you think about Endless Summer—”

“Hello to you, too!” Taylor sneered and gestured across the table. “Diego, this is Quinn. Quinn, this is Diego. He’s my best friend. And we... kinda write a book together.”

“A graphic novel, actually.” He protested. “And it’s Taylor’s idea, only she says she couldn’t put two words together even if she tried. Now, I don’t mean to brag or anything, but I’m pretty good at it.”

“Yeah, only we don’t know anyone who can draw.”

“Actually... I can,” Quinn smiled broadly. “Well, I mostly paint, but I’m always up for a challenge. I can show you a few of my works... if you want me to?”

Taylor shared a look with Diego, and they both nodded vigorously. She pulled a sketchbook out of her backpack and handed it to them, blush rising up on her cheeks.

“I never showed this to anyone. Please don’t laugh. It’s just... I’m having these strange dreams, and I don’t want to forget them...”

They both stared at a picture of an impossibly enormous tree rising into the sky. There was a whole city carved into its side. Little huts perched on the branches and the wooden bridges hung between them, held together by vines. Diego inhaled sharply, and Taylor felt tears welling up in her eyes. Quinn remembered. The memories were buried deep within her, but they were there.

“Quinn...” She squeezed her hand gently. “Do you know what this is?”

“No. As I said, it’s from a dream. I can’t remember the name... I thought it was Yggdrasil, you know, the Norse tree of life? But it’s not that. It’s something similar, but when I wake up, I can’t remember it anymore.”

“Elyystel.” Diego recovered his voice. “Taylor, that’s gotta be the tree city you told me about. Quinn, you’re a genius. Welcome on board!”

#endless summer #endless summer fanfiction #playchoices fanfiction #long post

[slamsams-blog]

A View To A Kill - #24WeeksofBond

This week’s feature is 1985′s “A View To A Kill”.  This would be Roger Moore’s 7th and final Bond performance, and judging by Moore’s appearance in this film, it really was for the best.  Man, am I torn with this one.  I know as a self-proclaimed “Bond Expert” I should hate this movie...take a look at any Bond ranking blog out there and you’ll find the usual suspects rounding out the bottom 5, this film included.  While it definitely has its faults (no pun intended), there is just something so unique and charming about this Bond adventure.  Maybe it’s the horses, maybe it’s the unforgettable May Day character, maybe it’s the Christopher Walken effect, or maybe it’s the way Bond cooks up a killer Quiche...whatever it is, I just can’t help but enjoy myself when I watch this movie.

It all starts with a fun ski chase scene where Bond is out trying to find the body of a missing 003...he finds him and discovers a microchip in his locket.  He must have been on the hunt for Zorin before Bond took over.  Not sure, I may have missed it, but eventually the ski chase scene boils down and Bond picks up a board from his snow mobile that got shot down.  This leads to “California Girls” playing while Bond snow boards his way out of a pickle.  Watching this now - it’s utterly ridiculous and doesn’t quite fit the vibe of the rest of the scene, but when I watched this as a teenager, I absolutely LOVED it and it still brings me back to when I was a kid watching these Bond films for the first time.

We are then treated to a bad ass tune by Duran Duran.  This song is one of my favorites.  When I think of this movie, 2 things pop into my head right away: that California girls scene, and the Duran Duran song.  So far this movie is hitting on all cylinders. 

But before we go on with the plot...let’s talk about the elephant in the room, shall we?  Bond is so uncomfortably old in this movie.  It’s a shame really, this movie has a wonderful plot with amazing characters, incredible action, and a killer score, but the only thing a lot of people take away from it is how old Moore is.  I don’t blame them, Moore is definitely a week past the sell by date here and he is still managing to get intimate with a few women.  Eh, I really hate to say it, but it was a different time I guess.  If Roger Moore had been a little younger or if Dalton had taken over this one...I think this movie would be towards the top of Bond lists everywhere.

Onto the plot...

It turns out this microchip is a copy of a Zorin Microchip that are designed to withstand a nuclear blast.  So Bond is set to find Max Zorin (Christopher Walken) and see if there is anything suspicious.  Well turns out his horses are really good...that’s enough to get a green light from her majesties secret service.  Bond goes to meet some weirdo at the Eifel Tower to talk all things Zorin, but the weirdo gets killed by a poison butterfly toy.  That’s funny to write.  Anyways, now Bond is really on a mission...

The movie continues with Bond going under cover as a super rich and bossy horse buyer with another man from MI6 who is a horse expert.  This part of the movie is just light hearted and fun.  We see Bond bossing “Tibbit” around and schmoozing other party folk, and getting to know all the evil bad guys along the way.  This is where we find out that Zorin inserts these microchips into the horse for an added boost during races.

Not only do we get to admire some beautiful horses, but we also get our first glimpse at Stacy Sutton (Tanya Roberts) who will go on later to be Bond’s helping force in taking Zorin down.  She is seemingly getting a big pay off, for what?  We don’t know yet.  But instead of Bond getting information from her, how Bond usually does, in a steamy hotel on a moonlit night.  Bond finds himself in bed with May Day, and the audience finds themselves uncomfortable with seeing old Moore naked in bed with naked Grace Jones.

Yeah....soooo anyways....

Like with most Bond movies, the plot always starts out rather simple but ends up being something bigger.  Yes, Zorin is cheating to win these horse races, by steroids and microchip injection...but then we also find out that Zorin is an ex-KGB who is now doing his own thing.  And apparently that thing is to destroy Silicon Valley, taking control of the microchip industry.  We never really find out why he needs this, other than having a monopoly.  But, why do you want a monopoly on the microchip business?  Seems rather lame in my opinion, but it’s Zorin, and he’s got his reasons.

We really don’t deserve a Christopher Walken here, but we get him and its wonderful.  Here is something I’ve never picked up before...apparently the old evil guy Hans Glaub was a nazi scientist who experimented with steroids in pregnant women in the concentration camps.  The women who gave birth, gave birth to kids with extremely high IQ’s but were psycho paths, leading Bond to suspect Zorin was a product of that.  NEVER KNEW THAT BACKSTORY UNTIL TONIGHT!  CRAZY! 

Well that definitely explains Walken’s performance.  Christopher Walken does a fantastic job of playing an extremely charming, highly popular public figure, but also a completely sadistic, ruthless killer who finds killing people “neat”.

On top of having Christopher Walken and Grace Jones as the evil tandem, we get to witness some wonderfully absurd action.  We have a Horse riding obstacle course that Bond must complete with 10 guys trying to knock him off; we have a Fire truck chase scene with Bond hanging on the ladder as it’s swinging through on coming traffic; and of course, the final boss battle on top of the Golden Gate Bridge.  Some pretty awesome stuff here...but man is Roger Moore old.

Not only is this Roger Moore’s last Bond movie, it’s also the swan song for the best Moneypenny ever...Lois Maxwell - who had served as the Bond flirting secretary to M since the very first Bond movie.  Lois had a wonderful career in the Bond series, but she too was getting old.  It only seemed fitting that she and Moore go out at the same time to bring in some young blood.

Despite Moore’s age, and yes I know I’m beating a dead horse (that was an intended pun), but this movie does all it can to make up for it.  There are so many memorable scenes in this film where I simply cannot in good conscious give this movie a bad review.  I would definitely put this movie in a solid place in the middle of the pack, but not bottom 5, I mean come on, Christopher Walken alone moves the movie up 6 spots.  

This really was fun to watch tonight.  What did you all think?  Let me know!

Reviews from Friends:

Dan Perch

Bond as St. John Smythe has to be my favorite fake name😂 Walken and Grace Jones were such a cool team to watch!

My Mom

Omg Sam this was the best bond movie and a fantastic write up on your blog. I laughed so hard at your commentary. You have the makings of a professional critic. You just have to fix that “anyways” habit. I can now see how you boys got addicted to Bond. I would put this brisk and boisterous film way up near the top. My gosh you should at the very least give it another half star. I loved it.

Andrew Albertsen

This was always one of my favorites

Jake Benrud

I had some of the same thoughts about this movie! "California Girls"? Really? I also don't think that Bond's knees could take those jumps at his age. It does make it kind of a fun scene though. I have had the "A View to a Kill" song stuck in my head all week. It's one of my favorite Bond songs as well. I also enjoyed the twang of the electric guitar with the 80's version of James Bond Theme song in the action sequences. Grace Jones as May Day was great. It was kind of funny to see the death by the poison butterfly on a fishing pole. I must have missed the connection on how the Nazi scientist who did experiments with steroids in pregnant women ended up being a father-figure to Zorin. Also, how did he become a KGB agent if he was the product of a Nazi experiment? I guess he could have jumped ship to the next "evil empire." Walken played the part well. I liked his laugh just before plummeting to his death.

24 Weeks of Bond will return next Monday with - 

Goldeneye

#24WeeksofBond #roger moore #christopher walken #a view to a kill #james bond #grace jones

[monky567]

CHAPTER ONE: The Dungeon.

In Japan, a guy with shaggy Untrimmed hair, with Black Circles underneath his eyes, was playing One of His Favorite RPG's. His apartment was dark just how he prefers and would seem that he has been leaving like that for some time, what with all the stuff that was scattered throughout the room. And yet, this individual was too preoccupied with his game to notice as he just completed a level five Quast and now was off to Level four.

"My Name is Tanaka Akria. Full-time gamer, and Full-time Shut-in, I spend most of my time in my bedroom playing Dungeon RPGs to the point where I'm a total Boss, at it."

The Character he was playing as was a Level Sixteen Warrior and he was almost Eaton by a man-eating Treasure chest. or it would have appeared that way, but actually, he was trying to Attack it. "Please as if I'll fall for a weak cliche like that how dumb do they I am?." Akira sigh as he Easly Defeats it with no effort what's so ever and but then the clock on his wall turned Twelve minutes, midnight. And Already his body started to feel sluggish.

"Huh? I. can't. fall. asleep, now… I am just about to take on the Dragon boss…"

but even though he tried desperately to stay awake his body, just couldn't hold out anymore, so he passed out face first on his Keyboard. And something strange happens the likes he thought in a million years wouldn't happen. But it was a bit different then what he would have thought for the next thing Akira knew he wakes up in a dark dank Tunnel.

"Huh? What the heck? Am I dreaming about Dungeons again?. But this is an odd Dream though usually when I'm Dreaming I have a Sword and the room isn't so big what am I small in this Dream?."

he sighs to himself before he tried moving but found that could feel his legs or his arms, in that matter and yet, he was moving but very slowly though which had him even more worried.

"Okay, something isn't right here how can I be moving if I can't feel my legs? Or even my Arms!?. I'm starting to get the Sinking feeling that this isn't a Dream… "

And he would be right with that assessment as he frantically moves around trying to find any Reflective Service. until he Accidentally trips on a Rock and started to Roll before making a complete stop, when he hits something hard and after using a slime Tentacle hand to rub his head.

"Ow, what the heck did I hit? Hmmm."

But as when he looked at what he just hit, he stops and stares at himself in the reflected Suffice of a Chest plated Armor. and it wasn't seeing some guy's skeleton that made him Freeze-up no, it was the Image of what he saw did it, cause looking back at him was an Image of a dark red Slime that did it. looked like any other order Slime, you would fin in a game the only thing was Different was its color, which was Dark Red. Now, at first, he didn't want to believe it but as he tried to rase up his hand, the slime did. the same thing so he tried a number of movements like Jumping, running in a circle everything and it matched them down to the last letter.

Now completely tired he took deep breaths before he finally came to the Shocking Realization that he was not Dreaming but all of this, was real but and the first thing that comes out of his mouth, was.

"What the hell?! Why am I a slimmme!?!?!."

He shots up to the ceiling as he holds his head with his slime tentacle hands.

"This can't be happening!? I mean, sure, in anime and maybe in a few mangas but if that's the case then, how Come Am a slime!?. All the Anime and Manges I've read and watch kept the is MC human at last and gets reincarnated as with some special hidden power. But this, what Hell I've been Rip off! What the Hell, can a slime even do besides dissolve things when they fall in it! Or Sallow But that's just it!?."

And now, that he had come to the realization that he has somehow wind-up in the body of a smile red Slime he slinks down to almost a puddle in depression and sighs.

"Man… I guess this is just my luck that a guy with no friends or a girlfriend would end up a place like this, but one thing I don't understand... How can I see and hear even though I don't even have a body or a face in that matter?."

He said rising back up and looking at both of his Slime tentacle hands before something caught his attention up ahead. It was a sound- well several other sounds, like people fighting something, so he turns around and follows the sounds down another tunnel. and what he saw not only terrified Akira but made him wish he never followed them in the first place. For what he saw was several guys in suits of Armor battling what appears to be a razor talon Raptor, but this one was a lot bigger than the one he fought back home in the game. But hear it was more Terrifying and a lot nastier then it's counterpart as it uses its claws to slice one guy in half, and if Akira had a mouth right now, he would have thrown up At the sight of it.

"Holy Crap! That thing just cut that Guy into TWO?!, oh man what was I thinking?! Coming here. I gotta get out of here quick before that thing sees me so while it's distracted I just need to move back and-"

But just before he could back the way he came a body was thrown at the tunnel now blocking his only way of leaving.

"Aww come on!?. Really?! Just Seriously!?. What the hell man my luck SUCK!."

he shouted to himself while holding his head but then the Razer Raptor's roar snapped him out of it immediately. and so he hid behind the corpse of the dead Adventure. and just waited for all the Screaming and walling to end.

"Is this hell? Have I finally dead and end up here for some miss deed I've done?."

He asked himself as his gelatinous body Jiggle and shock with Fear, and all he can hear was the sounds of the Adventures meeting a Grizzly end at the Hands of that thing until suddenly all of the Screaming came to an end.

That's when he noticed he couldn't hear anything anymore, so Akira carefully crept up the Dead warrior's body to have a look-see at what happened. there he saw the other Adventures body parts Scattered all around the room and nowhere could be seen of the monster, and so he let out a sigh of relief before coming out of hiding and looked at the damage it did.

"Man, do I feel bad for these poor guys I mean running into that thing is definitely something you would want to avoid at all costs. well, I better go I don't want to be here when that thing comes back hungry for seconds."

But as he turned around to leave his Slime body bump into something before taking it inside.

"Huh? That's odd did one of those guys dropped some food or something?. Well, whatever it is it sure tastes good I wonder what was-"

just then when he turned around he saw his Reflection again in another suit of armor, but this time what he saw in it made his slime stand up. For inside his body was a Severed human hand just floating around inside him.

"There's a human hand inside me… there's a human hand floating around inside me… huh. There's a human hand floating inside of my body!? Ahhh haha ahhh!!!! Ew, ew, ew, EW!?. Get out, get out, get out!?."

He said as he tried very hard to spite out the human hand but his body would not do it, and soon the hand begins to dissolve inside him, bones and all. As not even a single Trace of the hand was left And Akira was completely lost for words. As he just witnesses how his body just Disgusted that hand before he suddenly felt an odd sensation move up his body, but was still focus on how he just ate someone's hand.

"I can't believe… I just Ate some dude's hand… and the odd thing about it? It tasted like chicken… and now i am cannibal, Oh lord. If I'm supost to 'hero' then why am I a slime this doesn't make any sense and no girl is going to like a slime so even if I do find away out of there then what?. Get a love interest and then go on some adventures? Yeah right, no girl would be interested in a slime. Well, looks like I should put my Dreams of meeting my Dreamgirl in the Trash."

He told himself as his body became a puddle again before he started talking more about his dreamgirl who he well never see.

"I always dreamed of meeting a girl with a slender waist, long slinky hair, a nice and perky B-cup, and a cute face But now, all of that is ruined." And as he was sulking he suddenly heard a voice right after he said that. "Design acceptable please stand by." upon hearing that he raise back up Freaked out by it as he frantically looks around to see where it came from. "Huh?! Who said that!?."

And then all of a Sudden Akira started to feel funny, not funny hah, haha but funny, weird. As his slime body started to Jiggle violently before it lifts up from the ground and starts to Take on a match more familiar form. And before Akira knew what happening to him it all suddenly stops and finds herself on the ground.

"Ugh... what the hell was that? Ow, my head."

And she puts a hand on her head, to soothe her headache.

"Man, what hell- wait why do I sound so girly? And when did I get hands!?."

he only now Realised that 'he' became and 'she' now, and she stood up on her two feet and puts her hands on her face in total, shocked as she thought.

"what the Hell is this!? Why am I suddenly a GIRL!?."

and as she thought that she turns her head over to the suit of armor, and with her newly acquired limbs. So when she picks it up and looked at Image in the Armor she literally drops the chest plate, falls to her knees, and so Scream loud that it echoes throughout the room and in the tunnel, she came in.

"This can't be happening!?, It just can't!?. How can I be a Girl? First, a slime and now a girl!? What hell is going on!?."

She asked herself that question that is until she the Answer from the same voice from before.

"Subject has now Evolved into morphing slime, new skill: absorb."

And she again freaked out, when she heard that voice and thought she was losing her mind until she really listens to what it said and how odd it sounded like an Admin for a video game. Explaining how your character would level up when you reach a certain point in the game, and voice sounded just like that.

"Hmmm, could it really be possible that I'm in a game? Nah it can't be. I mean this place is way too real to be game but it does have the feel of one. So maybe I am in a world just like all the dungeons games I've played and if so, I just level up. Cool even though I'm a girl now… it's still not so bad."

she said trying to be optimistic about the situation she was in before she gets up and few her body again as a sudden realization just struck her.

"Holy crap! This is the form for my Dreamgirl?! The hair, the boobs, everything!?. So... When that voice from Earlier said Design acceptable? It was meaning how I wanted her to look!. This means I've really become a girl now, but... This isn't what I wanted!?."

She whines as her boobs bounced up and down before she notices it and tries to cover herself with her hands as she blushes. And looks moves her eyes side to side, as tries looking for something to cover herself up.

"Okay, I need some clothes fast… maybe I can borrow something from one of these guys? God knows they won't need it."

And so she looked around the Chamber full of the dead bodies of the same Adventures from earlier. and was about to put to getter something for her to wear it wasn't pretty but she was able to find an old tattered shirt, worn-out pair of pants with a few slash marks on them, and two old boots.

"Okay, this may not be pretty but… at last, I'm not naked anymore. Now, time for me to make my way out of here. But first I better take this sword and shield dungeons like these would have another monster waiting for you as soon as you go inside the next room."

And given Akira's knowledge on Dungeon games, she would be right and since the dungeon, she was in looked like the one from her game. She wasn't going to take any chances so she grips the Sword and Shield of the floor and took a deep breath before she gulps while looking at the exit of the chamber's exit.

"Okay… here goes once do this there's no turning back… I just hope I don't run into that Razor raptor."

With a light sigh, she slowly started walking into the tunnel and as soon as she did she immediately regretted it. Cause as soon as she started walking it got harder for her to see her way since there were no touches. so she had to feel her way around it and walk slowly, so as not to trip any traps, while the whole time she was thinking.

"You know, maybe the room full of dead bodies weren't so bad I mean, I could cleaning it up and make it into my own room?."

She was having doubts about whether she should keep going or turn around and head back. However, they all want away as soon as she saw some light up ahead and she immediately thought it was the way out. which she got so excited she started to run towards it.

"Is that? The way out!?. Finally! I thought I would have to go through some lame dungeon crawl just to escape. Well, time to blow this rat hole!. "

but just as she thought her Troubles where over turns out they were only just starting, for as soon as she runs out the Tunnel she was suddenly snatched up by something strong and sticky. And no matter how hard she struggled she couldn't get out of it.

"Hay what gives!? This isn't the Exit? Where am I and wait- minute this isn't a-"

she cuts herself off in mid-sentence when she finally gets a good look at her surroundings, there was plenty of the white sticky thread everywhere around the room including on the ceiling. And there a horrible realization came to her of where she was right now, as she noticed the bones of humans scattered everywhere on the floor. And there above the ceiling on the far corner within a huge web cacoon came out the biggest spider she has ever since. It had long black eight legs razor-sharp fangs and two big red lens eyes that were looking right at her. and as it crawled out of the hole on its spinneret was a red Hourglass and all the color on her face was drained once she saw that insignia.

"N-n-no way… don't tell me...did I just walking into the… GAINT SPIDER ROOM!?. I always hated this room! spiders totally freak me out!. I don't want to get eating by one i just got used to hands and feet again! am too young to be eaten!?. "

she struggled harder against the thread in a hopeless attempt to free herself but found it to be too strong. and she tries to reach for her sword, thet was hanging above her hand but she couldn't reach it. And soon the spider stared mover towards her and that's when she freaked out even more as she whines and struggles even more. As she could see herself in the spider's eyes as it gets closer to her until it crawls right on top of her and Akira's eyes, widen before she tried pleading with it.

" no Please don't eat me Mr. Spider I don't taste very good no please don't!!."

But her pleads didn't sway it one bit so it sinks its fangs into her and Akira Screams loudly and closed her eyes, thinking it was all over. But however, she opens them again and blinks several times as she thought it would have hurt but actually, it didn't. In she didn't feel any pain at all as though it never happened and yet here she is with a giant spider's fangs inside her chest, and yet nothing. she found it strange until she saw why it didn't hurt her, for the wound it made didn't show a single drop of blood at all. and the only thing that was showing was her slime and that's when she remembers that she wasn't really a human but a SLIME. Meaning she only looked but in truth, she was just a slime in human form so it couldn't really match hurt her. In fact, it looked like it was having trouble pulling out of her. And then she remembers something that voice said earlier, back in the other chamber about her new skill right after she ate that hand. And that's when she started grinning down at the spider as it struggled to get loose but was glued to her.

"Ku-ku-ku… you though I was just a helpless girl huh? Well, guess what Mr. itsy bitsy am not a girl at all!. am really a slime, and now since you were going to eat me it's only fair if I return the favor~ here goes absorption!."

And suddenly her body turns back into her slime form and immediately it spread out and covered the spider head to toe, before being Disgusted just like the human hand by her. And as her lifeless clothes, fall to the floor, Akira's took human form again but this time something different happens. now she has six black spider legs protruding from the base of her back and soon the voice was back and it said.

"Black widow spider has been successfully absorbed subject has now been upgraded and has been given a new title: " predator" subject now has the following skills: steel web, sticky web."

-And once it was done she opens her eyes, and looked at her new spider legs and gasped then squealed with Excitement.

"Oh wow! I can't believe It actually worked, I got spider legs now that's awesome. Hmm, I wonder if I can shoot out web?."

-She asked herself while looking at her own, hands and from her, the palms wed shoot out and stick to the ceiling.

"Well, that answers that question now… where are my clothes?."

Ahe noticed them on the floor and without thinking her two front spider legs shots out two threads on to them and brings them to her. "Oh, well that works, and with my new spider skills and my abortion skill getting out of here will be easy peasy. And I might have lucked out being a slime after all okay, new plan, Is going to hunt down every last monster in this Dungeon and gain their skills than find the way out. Who knows, maybe it's in the boss room there's always one once you defeat the boss. So I am going there but first, am going to need a lot more skills, if I want any hope of taking on the boss." And with her newfound confidence she jumped out of the web with ease and used her new spider legs to land safely to the ground there she puts on her clothes. And saw her way to the Next Tunnel and retracted her spider legs and stared walk and with her new Skills, Akira sets her plan into motion, by hunting down all the monsters in the Dungeon. and use her new skill to make their power her own And hopefully, escape the Dungeon she found herself in.

(so she starts her new journey from a male gamer on earth to a female slime monster in another world thanks for thinks for reading. And I hope you all have a great day, and who knows I just might update this if it turns out well that is anyway bye and I hope some of you like it.)

[nemossubmarine]

Warhammer 40k: Wrath & Glory RP #1

So about 2 years after finishing KoNS, I’m starting another “another RP”. This time it’s gon’ be some space adventures as we’ll be playing Wrath and Glory which is set in the Warhammer 40k universe. There will be guns, some cyborgs, maybe some aliens? We’ll see.

But first, let’s meet the player characters:

Cayenne Pepper (played by @fuzzybooks), a rogue trader of the Pepper dynasty, spice merchants. Being only the 75th cousin in line of the head of the family, she’s mostly safe from assassination attempts. Got herself a nifty little space ship called Santa Maria.

Gorm Oddmundson (@raddigested) is a Space Wolf scout. This little cub is far away from home and for some reason without his pack. He is looking for that good, good glory.

Gimlet (@xxyumeganxx) in an ex-inquisitonal acolyte. Having left the inquisition after some inside trouble he now is roped into looking after a newly awakened psyker Saef.

Saef (@arctic-urpo) was a ganger until his whole gang got wiped out of existence in an unfortunate event he doesn’t want to talk about. Now he is a psyker and has wanders the world with Gimlet as to stay out of trouble.

Then, onto the story!

Our party of heroes have arrived in the Adeptus Mechanicus controlled Forge World of Triplex Phall, located in the Eastern fringes of the Empire to meet with a tech priest.

The Pepper family wishes to strengthen their bonds with the Tech Cult, so they have agreed to take on some work for them to gain some favors.

Cayenne Pepper has been ordered to do this job, and has taken Saef and Gimlet, new hirings to the ships precisely for this with her.

Gorm is here because the Pepper family has ties to the Space Wolves, and Cayenne decided having one could be useful.

The tech priest is not currently in his room, so our heroes are told to wait, and wait they do.

Gorm introduces himself to everyone, and asks for everyone’s names and comments on Saef’s nice pants! 

He also asks why everyone is here on this mission: Cayenne’s answer is business, Saef is just following orders and Gimlet admits on being interested in the Mechanicus.

Gorm takes this moment to wax poetry about his home-world of Fenris. Aah, Fenris, its icy peaks and glaciers are beauty incarnate!

They talk among themselves about what to expect, the tech priest’s ad hadn’t been exactly specific.

Gimlet says he has heard there might be Inquisition agents on the planet they’re heading.

Gorm comments that he hasn’t much experience with Inquisitors as he has never met one and Gimlet says that he hasn’t either.

Gimlet talks about wanting to know history especially related to the AdMech. He also seems to be curious in this particular tech priest that has hired them.

Gorm asks if Gimlet is the writing type, as he is in need of a person to write down his glorious adventures!

Gimlet agrees. 

Cayenne tells about the galas that her family does, helping orphaned animals.

Gorm asks if there’s any pets on board her ship.

She says yes, some cats and dogs. There’s also an indoor park and a shark tank!

Gorm says he isn’t much of a cat person himself. Definitely more of a dog person.

Gorm takes this moment to relay the tale of his childhood, where he was thrown into the sea, swam to find a kraken who raised him. Hence why he is called the “Child of the Kraken”.

This lovely tale is barely finished when the tech priest arrives. Much like the rest of his kin, he is rather haphazardly put-together figure with several extra limbs and eyes.

He leads our heroes to his lair, a tower-like room filled with shelves and computer screens.

There’s also a cream-colored cat that jumps onto the priest’s shoulder.

The tech priest shakes Cayenne’s hand with the hand that still appears to have some skin left on it, even still it’s cold and unpleasant. 

He introduces himself as E-E \\ 821.

Now onto the mission at hand.

A four person group of Mechanicus has disappeared on a mission in the planet Styria R867, led by E-E \\ 821′s sergeant K303 2:82. The tech priest wishes them to be found.

The planet itself is a curious thing, it  is unreachable for hundreds of years at a time, because of a storm and only comes out of it for 10 years at a time. Even then it is incredibly hostile as far as living there goes, but it does host a small population of human settlers, who mostly do mining.

The Imperium presence on the planet is really sparse, there’s members of Ministorum on the planet but not much else.

There used to  be some kind of ancient civilization there, and the storm occasionally uncovers ruins. 

The Mechanicus went to the planet to survey the ruins to see if there’s a need for the Mechanicus to ready a bigger mission, and to possibly find the origin of the storm so that the Imperium could use it better.

There is a settlement of Hellhole, where the Mechanicus were last seen. A Sister of Battle resides there, and she could be useful informant.

If the Mechanicus are dead, a data disk must be retrieved  from the Sergeant’s body, that is the condition in which our heroes are paid for their services.

The tech priest is very fond of swerving questions by asking clarifying questions and then answering those instead of the first question, but our heroes still get a lot of information.

Cayenne asks for something to show the Mechanicus to show that our heroes are authorized by their commander. 

E-E \\ 821 gives her a badge of the Mechanicus symbol with some damage on it.

They leave. Gorm doesn’t take his eyes off the cat, because he is suspicious, and just before the doors’ to the lair close he sees the tech priest give the cat a little pat on the head with his mechanical claw hand.

Before getting too far, Gorm has one more thing that he wishes from the tech priest, so they return.

Gorm wishes to have something with the sergeant’s smell on it.

As the tech priest starts climbing up his tower to find something that fits the description, his cat decides to take this moment to jump down in front of Gorm.

Despite Gorm showing no inclination for playfulness, the cat seems to be ready to play.

Gorm asks someone to get rid of the cat before he loses it.

Gimlet swoops in and attempts to befriend the cat, but she gets scared, smacks him on the hand and finds safety on Gorm’s shoulders.

Luckily before Gorm wolfs out, the tech priest returns, gently swoops up the cat and places it back on his shoulders.

For Gorm, the tech priest hands out the sergeant’s undershirt.

Gorm and Gimlet make a hasty retreat before the cat can do anything else bad, while Cayenne and Saef stay to say proper goodbyes.

Gorm says bye from the other end of the hallway, and the tech priest opens up a speaker right next to him to bid him goodbye.

After leaving, they talk a bit in the hallway, Gorm comments on having difficulty with robot-people.

Cayenne says eye-contact is important and instructs him to pick an eye and stick to it.

Then it’s off to Styria R867! 

Cayenne has her servo-skull to give a tour of the ship to the other three.

Gorm takes Saef to the tax-free shop to pick out moomin mugs for themselves.

While there he comments that he has heard good things about Saef’s gang, and he wishes to be Saef’s gang friend.

Saef doesn’t seem too enthusiastic about this, but he mutters a “sure” and keeps on looking at the mugs.

Gorm asks if they should ask the other people to be in the gang as well, but Saef says he should take care of recruitment.

Then the last bit of business is deciding whether to be a violent or non-violent gang.

Saef says he’s alright as long as he gets to fight, which sounds pretty violent.

As Santa Maria has warp travel capabilities it doesn’t take our heroes long to get to Styria R867.

They get teleported on the surface of the planet little ways away from Hellhole. And immediately get attacked by three scorpions. (as one occasionally does)

Gimlet immediately gets face-full of poison from a stinger shot. Gorm rushes that scorpion and gets a hit in with his cool-ass chain-sword.

Gimlet retreats a bit and takes care of the poison before anything else.

One of the scorpions attacks Gorm, but can’t get through his armor.

Cayenne takes a shot with her plasma gun, absolutely annihilating the third remaining. Unfortunately her gun jams.

Saef takes this moment to show off his psyker powers, smiting one of the scorpions.

Gorm finishes one of the remaining ones and Gimlet shoots down the last into bits.

Gorm turns around and demands to know which one of our group is a psyker. 

Saef rises his hand and Gorm tells that he doesn’t appreciate magic.

I guess that’s it for their awesome little gang.

Cayenne gets a bunch of unhelpful comments about her weapon such as, try turning it on and off again (Gimlet) and smash it against a rock (Gorm).

She knows her way around a plasma weapon however, and cleans it up no problem.

There is no more incidents as our heroes reach the settlement of Hellhole. Situated against the mountain they are mining in, the settlement consists of houses made out of mis-matched metal plates. There’s an AdMech ship parked on the front.

A woman clad in the black-and-white armor of the Sisters of Battle comes to meet up with them and introduces herself as Portia Bailey.

Upon hearing our heroes want to discuss the missing mechs, she suggests they do so in her house (well, more of a shack).

Sister Portia is a bit of a rambler, veering off-topic quite often, but from what our heroes can gather, the Mechanicus went to a ruined castle on the other side of the mountain.

Sister Portia has been to the castle before, but it was filled with traps and generally unsafe, she tried to warn the Mechanicus of this as well, even saying she could come with, but the Mechanicus were rather secretive.

In fact only the sergeant (or as Sister Portia says, the weird horse-legged one) did talking, the rest communicated among themselves in sign language.

After the Mechanicus left and weren’t heard from again, Sister Portia went to check the castle and noticed that the ancient machines in the castle were powered up again and the giant doors to the castle were locked up tight.

Sister Portia knocked but no answer.

She surmises that maybe the Mechanicus just wanted a castle, but admits that she has no real proof they are still alive.

She suggests our heroes travel to the castle at night, as they are less likely to be attacked by beasts as the nights still get cold-ish around here.

Plus they could catch glimpses of movement in the castle.

Before leaving the Mechanicus’ ship is there, although locked.

Sister Portia says she’ll look the other way if our heroes want to take a look. Which they do.

Before they can get to the ship, they are stopped by two kids, Layla (11), who is really interested in big Space Marine man (Gorm lets her hold his chain-sword) and Laurel (8), who asks about the big ship in the space.

Their mother calls them away before they can waste too much of our heroes’ time.

Gorm breaks the lock on the Mechanicus ship, and our heroes take a look around.

Cayenne looks over the sergeant’s room, and finds a data pad where the captain’s logs are generally kept, but she can’t crack the code of it. She still takes it with.

Saef goes over the other people’s living areas and notes that they are bereft of any signs of living or personal belongings.

Gimlet takes the bridge, and extracts the black box of the ship, but he has no tools to listen to the recordings inside.

Gorm checks over the cargo bay, and notes that the Mechanicus, especially the Sergeant appear to be extremely well-armed.

He also finds a device for listening to black box recordings. So that’s what they do next.

They pick the latest recording; the only speaker appears to be the sergeant, who admits to some uncertainty about the situation, saying he hopes “that Eden is right”. His musing are interrupted by something and he laughs and reprimands someone named Tora for their (sign) language. He then notes that it’s best that he does the talking while the rest can communicate via sign language.

There’s few oddities on the recording. 

Gorm is convinced something is up with the sign language and wishes they could have visual recordings of the Mechanicus.

(also we found out both Gimlet and Cayenne know the basics of sign language, though very specialized language only)

Gimlet notes that it is odd for the Mechancius to laugh, as they pride themselves in getting rid of their humane qualities.

Cayenne noticed the two names spoken, Eden and Tora, neither of which appear in anyway in their mission statements.

Gimlet suggests they could maybe ask the kids about anything odd the Mechanicus might have done while here, and everyone thinks it’s a good idea.

They find the kids in the mesh hall with their mother, who doesn’t want to talk about the Mechanicus.

Gorm tries to persuade the mother to come with her outside but only manages to her to clamp up even more.

Gimlet asks her to get them some food, which she agrees to, buying our heroes few moments with the kids.

Laurel, the boy, whispers what he knows into Cayenne’s ears. Apparently he had caught a glimpse of some of the non-sergeant Mechanicus without their hoods/helmets and he says they had pieces missing on their faces.

When they noticed Laurel they got really angry, and he ran away, which Cayenne says was a smart move.

And that’s enough information gathering for one day. Next time our heroes start heading for the castle! What mysteries will await them there? We’ll see.

#wag rp #wag rp writeup #campaign tag: tomb raiders #long post #nemo roleplays #im glad you guys got to bond with my fave npc #the cream colored cat :P #and by bond i mean be bothered by her #her name is felis catus and she is the best #reminder to self write something for the cptn's log #they're bound to break into that next sesh :P #woof i was meaning to write fic today but this took longer than i expected and it's already 19 #and by longer than expected i mean i should have expected it would take long #ah well maybe i can get something still done today #tomorrow is eurovision #but it's not like i have anything else :P being the une #mploymed person that i am #anyway i was rather happy with the first session #even though i had to throw out some clues there i had not planned in advance #so now gotta figure that shit out #it helps that i am basing the mechanicus somewhat on my kill team mechs #altho there are some heavy heavy alterations on the story obvs #since this is a completely different situation #but at least i know my admechs relatively well #i hope my players enjoy the admech stuff too :D #they are in no way obligated to follow that story any more than finding them mechs #but we'll talk about that once we get there #aka at the end of this thing

[pcttrailsidereader]

How an App Made Hiking Easier (perhaps too easy)

An excerpt from Taylor Gee’s article in The Guardian examining the unintended consequences of Guthook Guides’ maps that have made outdoor adventures far less wild.  I must admit being old school myself and even feel sometimes that all of the information on Halfmile’s maps makes me feel a bit lazy.  Guthook Guides’ seems, at times, to remove the mystery from the trail.  What’s your reaction to Gee’s critique?

In March 2012, the Pacific Crest Trail changed for good when Cheryl Strayed’s memoir Wild, about her 1995 thru-hike of the trail, hit shelves and quickly became a New York Times bestseller. [Between the book and the movie] from 2013 to 2018, PCT applications nearly quadrupled.

But Wild wasn’t the only thing that transformed the trail that March. The same month, a thru-hiker named Ryan Linn quietly released an iPhone application called Guthook Guides. It took the entire set of tools needed for thru-hiking – a map, compass, guidebook and water reports – and consolidated them into a single virtual location. It functioned offline and crowdsourced updated information about trail conditions and campsites when online. Such an app might have been inevitable, but for ultralight-obsessed thru-hikers, it was a revolution.

Linn’s timing couldn’t have been more perfect. In the last three years, the app has been downloaded 337,000 times, and in 2018, a survey of 500 PCT hikers found that 85% used the app. What started in 2010 as a passion project is now a company that employs five people full-time and has mapped more than two dozen long trails around the world.

But as the the app’s empire continues to grow, many thru-hikers worry about its unintended consequences. They see themselves and fellow hikers depending on their phones to decide where to sleep and eat and to discover exactly how far, down to the tenth of a mile, they are from those places. They fear that American thru-hiking, once the ultimate test of self-reliance, is no longer as wild as it once was.

While attending Vassar College in 2002, Linn joined an outdoors club. The upperclassmen decided that the new recruits needed intimidating nicknames. One day, Linn and two other club members were driving past a hunting and fishing store and pulled over to wander the aisles for inspiration. Linn became “Guthook”, and it stuck through college and afterward, when he hiked the AT in 2007 and the PCT in 2010.

It was while hiking the PCT that Linn met Paul Bodnar, a guidebook author who was collecting GPS data on trail with the intent of updating a PCT guide he had published in 2009. In the era of “there should be an app for that”, it didn’t take long for the two to start talking about what a smartphone-based guide would look like. “We figured it would be something for us to do on the side, in between seasonal work,” says Linn, who since college had been doing various trail-crew and outdoor-education jobs.

After they finished their hike, Linn spent the next year and a half using the GPS data Bodnar had collected to create the first version of Guthook Guides, learning to code as he went. Visually, the app looks similar to the paper topographical maps hikers have used for decades. Virtual icons along the trail designate campsites, water sources, intersecting roads, and trail-town information. But unlike paper maps, Guthook Guides is GPS-enabled, and users can click on an icon to learn more or add a comment. The ability to leave comments, in particular, made Guthook Guides more than a guidebook. Hikers could tell other users whether a water source had gone dry, the quality of a campsite, and the friendliness of local businesses.

After the 2012 release, the app made just enough money for Linn to pay a friend to collect data while hiking the AT in 2013. (The app is free to download, but users must purchase guides for each trail.) The AT guide was released the next year. In 2015, Guthook Guides became available on Android phones. By then, Linn and Bodnar, the app’s co-creators, understood that Guthook Guides was no longer a side project. They went all in.

A sense of surviving in the wilderness is a major reason why a 2,000-mile hike is more than just a feat of athleticism. Taking a wrong turn, getting lost, navigating back – all that misadventure and the intellectual challenge of sorting it out makes for better stories than does walking in a straight line dictated by an app. Yet thru-hiking the PCT last year, I had to stop myself from checking the Guthook app as often as every hour. At one point, my hiking partner even instituted a no-Guthook rule, with the hope that we’d reclaim some sense of agency over our endeavor. Our self-imposed app ban didn’t last, because pretending we didn’t have this all-knowing resource in our pockets felt somehow inauthentic. Especially when most everyone else on trail was embracing it as reality.

It’s hard to overstate the impact that Guthook has had on the experience of thru-hiking. I talked to nearly a dozen hikers and trail managers who all seemed simultaneously concerned that the app enables hikers to lose self-reliance and awareness of their surroundings but couldn’t deny its supreme usefulness.

[PCT hiker Eric] Lee compares the impact of Guthook Guides to what Google Maps has done for driving. “We no longer have to think about landmarks and turns and street names. We just type our address into the phone and press go,” he says, noting that it undoubtedly makes thru-hiking an easier, more stress-free experience. But because of the app, he sees more hikers today who are not as viscerally connected to the trail. “They’re walking from waypoint to waypoint. It’s just a set of numbers.”

This effect has led to some pushback against the app. “I’ve encouraged people to not use it,” says Lucas Weaver, a 29-year-old fiber-optic technician who used Guthook Guides while hiking the Continental Divide Trail last year. “I’m not saying don’t get it, I’m saying don’t let it dictate, don’t rely on it.” Weaver is glad he hadn’t yet downloaded the app when he hiked the AT in 2015. “Being out there without any guide or technology makes it more adventurous,” he says.

The app’s popularity has coincided with the use of phones creeping into trails more generally. Now hikers have Instagram accounts to update with selfies, blogs to write, and loved ones to keep in touch with.

Sometimes use of the app enters into the absurd. “We came across many hikers who would use the app to the point they would lose common sense,” says Jen Nicholson, a 29-year-old physical therapist who also thru-hiked the Continental Divide Trail last year. She recalls hikers who insisted on walking five feet off to the side of the trail because their GPS told them that’s where the path was.

Then there are the stories of hikers relying on trail apps who lose or break their phones or even just run out of battery. For those who forgo paper backup maps to save weight (I was guilty of this myself), a dead phone makes getting lost more frightening than thrilling. Rachel Brown, membership-services manager for the Continental Divide Trail Coalition, recalls encountering this multiple times when hiking the trail in 2015. A friend of hers lost her phone, spent hours searching for it, didn’t find it, and had no backup maps. “She ended up camping out at a really confusing trail junction for three days until somebody else came,” Brown says. Another time, Brown hiked with a man who dropped his phone into a creek. “He ended up sticking like glue to my partner and me,” she recalls. “It was a little frustrating for us, because it kind of felt like we were babysitting. He was always there.”

Perhaps most telling is Guthook’s own experience. Last summer on a backpacking trip, Linn found he had drifted off of a poorly marked trail. “I stopped, and I was about to grab my phone,” says Linn. “Now I have to really consciously tell myself, ‘No, no, no. You just noticed you’re off the trail, go and find it.’” Linn is thoughtful about how his app has affected life on trails. “There are downsides to every new technology in the wilderness,” he admits. “Probably people are using Guthook a little more than I would have wanted.”

For all the good and the bad attributable to Guthook Guides, the consensus is things are just different now. In 2003, Eric Lee accidentally turned off the PCT and hours later ran into another hiker who told him he was going the wrong way. Lee didn’t believe him. “We brought out paper maps and discussed it for 15 minutes” before the other hiker convinced Lee of the truth. Back then that was part of the experience, and maybe even charm, of the trail. “Today that would never happen,” says Lee. “But I’m OK with that.”

#smart phones #Guthook Guides #Wild

[caranfindel]

Recap/review 14.08: “Byzantium”

THEN: Beardy Sam! Lily Sunder! Oh, I had such high hopes for Sam using Lily's dark angel magic... could this be happening? (Spoiler alert: nope!) Jack's total systemic failure!

NOW: TFW is gathered at Jack's bedside. Sam's the one sitting next to him, but Dean is the one who's the most upset. OF COURSE. Jack thinks maybe this is just how it's meant to be, which of course Dean disagrees with, because this "isn't part of some damn plan." And of course, even if it was part of some damn plan, it's not like Dean follows anyone's damn plans. {Sidebar: It reminds me that, when Kelly was pregnant, Cas received some kind of vision about unborn Jack saving the world. Was that supposed to be a prophecy? Or just a possibility?}

Jack's still coughing, and actually using an oxygen mask, but there's no blood and he can breathe enough to speak easily, so he doesn't seem to be at death's door just yet. Dean stomps out into the hall to hit things, and Jack asks Sam to tell him he's okay. But clearly Jack isn't, like, 2 minutes from dying, so Sam says Dean will be back in a minute and Jack can tell him himself.

Jack asks what will happen after he dies, and Sam sadly says he doesn't know. "Then it's going to be an adventure," Jack says, and he lies back and coughs a little bit more.

Cas comes out into the hall to comfort Dean, or confront him, I don't know. Dean says it's not fair and Cas is all, yeah, duh, but he needs you (ah, confront him it is), so stop making this about yourself. Even though the previous episode obviously did give you the idea that it is, in fact, all about you.

Dean comes back into Jack's room, 66 seconds after he left it, to find him lying quietly with his eyes closed. "He's gone," Sam says. Wait. What? Like that? No more coughing blood, no rattling last breaths, no slip into unconsciousness? Just boom, Jack's gone before the title card like a random victim of the week? That's cold, guys. It's a good thing Sam didn't follow Dean out into the hall, or he would have died alone. As it is, Sam was the first person he saw when he was born and the last person he saw when he died (I'm not crying, you're crying). Everybody is sad (oh god, you guys, Sam's face), but Dean is the saddest, at least as far as we can tell, because he's the one who gets the sad, sad closeup.

Well, that escalated quickly!

Title card!

TFW stands sadly in the hall (Sam's all hunched over, poor baby) and discusses what to do next. "Wake and a bonfire," Dean says, because that's what Jack would have wanted, and because that's what they'd do even if he didn't want it. {Sidebar: Has anyone noticed these signs that have appeared in the bunker? I never saw them before. Do the new roomies need directions, or rules posted on the wall, or something?} Sam quickly peels off without saying a word. Cas tries to go after him, but Dean stops him, saying Sam needs his space.

That’s the sound of my heart breaking.

Dean calls Mary to tell her Jack died. I don't know that I would have done that. I would have asked her to call me so I could tell her in person, considering that they were close. And apparently she didn't even know Jack was sick. Seriously, boys, you don't communicate well at all. While Dean makes his uncomfortable phone call, we see Sam leave the bunker with a bag slung over his shoulder. Cas watches him but doesn't say anything. Dean shows up, literally a second or two later, and asks him if he's seen Sam.

Cut to Cas driving, with Dean in the passenger seat. It's not his tiny blue car from the last episode, it's something much bigger. Dean is berating him for letting Sam leave, and he doesn't accept Cas's defense that Dean said to give him space. Cas, you're supposed to know that Sam is allowed space in the bunker, but that doesn't mean he gets to leave. They find him quickly enough, though, which makes sense since he had like a five second head start. He's just off the road, in the dark, sitting next to the Impala. Sam, you took the Impala? What were you thinking? {Sidebar: Dean told Mary Jack died "this morning," and now it's dark. Does that mean Jack died very early, and it's still before dawn? Or have they just sat around grieving all day, and now it's nighttime?}

(Could you please stop worrying so much about minor timeline inconsistencies? Nobody cares!)

Sam weakly raises a hand to block the headlights when Dean and Cas arrive, but doesn't get up, and he just looks broken and miserable. Dean is furious. He jumps out of Cas's car (which turns out to be a big Dodge truck, and why does Cas get two cars when Sam doesn't even have one?) and yells "tell me you didn't make a deal!" Sam's shocked that Dean would accuse him of such a thing (ha ha, why would he ever) and says he was trying to build a pyre.

We get a flashback of him furiously chopping trees until his axe handle snaps in the middle of the second tree, and yet he still took the second tree down, so he must have kicked it over or attacked it with his bare hands because he was JUST THAT UPSET. Oh, Sammy. "I couldn't... I couldn't even do that for him," he says. "I should have done more. I should have tried harder. Everything we've got, the spells, the lore, what good was any of it if we couldn't save him?" Oh, oh, Sammy. He's so broken-hearted.

Ha ha this is not okay.

{Sidebar: Was Sam planning to build the pyre out there in the woods? Or take the wood back to the bunker in the Impala? I mean, he knows Cas has that nice big truck, right?}

(Again, we do not care as much about logistics as you seem to think we do.)

Cas remarks on how odd it feels for Jack to be dead, that it's not so weird for angels to die but it just doesn't seem right that Jack can. Apparently he considered the boy immortal. Dean decides they will say goodbye tomorrow, but tonight they're getting shitfaced.

And they do. As a sad Allman Brothers song plays in the background, they drink whiskey and eat candy bars (do they even know about his nougat love? do they?) and apparently switch to tequila (and Chuck, I do not know what anyone sees in tequila) and I guess tell funny stories about Jack because they're all laughing. Sam's the first one to get up and stumble drunkenly out of the kitchen (and why are they drinking in the kitchen and not the library, which seems like the traditional sad drinking spot). As Cas leaves, Dean says "we did everything we could, right?" (Spoiler alert: wrong!) and continues to drink alone. "Here's to you, Jack," he says, "wherever you are."

Which is our segue to wherever Jack is. He's with his three dads, happily eating a burger on the hood of the Impala on a beautiful sunny day. Sam can't get a signal on his phone, which should be his first clue that something is horribly, horribly wrong. Then Dean kind of fritzes and the sky goes dark and Jack knows something is wrong. We seem him stepping through a door into the white hallway of Heaven. But something is wrong there, too. And the "something wrong" is a great flood of black goo that rushes toward him. He runs.

Cut to Dean, waking up where he's been asleep on the kitchen table (and dang, Dean sleeping on the kitchen table is so pretty). We hear voices in another room and I think oh, people are back in the bunker, but it turns out this is another episode where all of the people are conveniently away at the same time. He staggers into the map room to find Cas and Sam talking to a woman with an eyepatch. It's Lily Sunder! An older version, to be sure {Sidebar: She's played by Veronica Cartright, who you may remember from Alien and The Witches of Eastwick. Or you may not. I don't know your movie viewing habits.} Dean thoughtfully points out that she got old, and she calls it "an unfortunate side effect of giving up magic." You know, she really is a pretty decent older version of Alicia Witt. Good show, Show.

Sam says he realized last night that they'd never looked at Kevin's translations of the angel tablet to see if there was anything there that could help Jack. He hoped Lily would be able to read them, and possibly find a way to bring Jack back. It's interesting that there has been no discussion of whether they should bring Jack back. I guess the talk about how weird it is that he actually died was as close as they're going to get. And yeah, I know, this is nothing new for them. But considering that Jack was at peace with it, and considering how well these things always go, you would think they'd at least pay lip service to the idea that it might be best to let what's dead stay dead.

{Sidebar: Dean remembers that Lily tried to kill Cas, but nobody remembers that Cas thought Lily's child was a nephilim, even though Lily was still alive after giving birth to that child. Just putting that out there.}

Lily flips through Kevin's notes, which look like a bunch of cuneiform, and says she can't decipher them. Dean's all, okay, we're done here, but Lily has a suggestion. They can use her magic, drawing on the power of Jack's soul to heal his body and bring him back. Dean's completely against it, but Lily says it won't use his entire soul. "How much of it?" Sam asks, and Dean gives him a disbelieving look. But Lily says it will only use a small amount, and he'll never miss it. Well, it's not like they've never used soul power before, though those have always been for temporary purposes.

Dean points out the obvious flaw in the plan, which is that Jack is already dead and his soul is gone. But if his soul is in Heaven, Cas thinks he can pull it into his body for a few seconds, long enough for Lily to work her magic. (Ew. I wonder if it's gross for a soul to find itself in a dead body.) Her magic uses the power of his soul to resurrect him and keep him alive, and boom. Jack's back.

But she's not doing it for free. She knows she's going to Hell when she dies, being that she killed a lot of angels, which means she'll never get to see her daughter again. So she wants TFW to get her into Heaven.

Dean still thinks it's a bad idea to use any of Jack's soul for this scheme. Cas thinks Jack should be the one to make the decision, and Sam points out that he knows (better than anyone, one might say) the importance of a soul, but if they can bring Jack back, they have to try. So this still feels flip-flopped: Sam willing to make a possibly unwise deal to bring back a dead loved one, and Dean holding back.

Of course, none of this will work if they can't figure out how to get Lily into Heaven. Dean wonders if they could get Billie to do it, but Cas points out that Death and her reapers don't make that decision (thank you, Continuity Fairy). Oddly, Sam seems a little surprised to hear that. This wouldn't be news to him, would it?

Anyway, they have to turn to Anubis, the ancient Egyptian guardian of the dead. It's interesting that they didn't go with St. Peter. I mean, I like that they're not limiting their characters to traditional Christianity, but it seems like Cas, in particular, would have suggested someone from the Bible. Cas explains that Anubis weighs your heart against "justice's feather," and Sam says what I'm thinking, which is that Osiris did that, and they've already met him. (Did they kill him? I don't remember.) Cas says Osiris is Anubis's father, and when God left, they needed a new judge, so Heaven passed over Osiris to work with his son. It's convoluted but whatever. I mean, it's cool that they're incorporating different religions and gods, so. Let's summon a god!

Cut to a lush garden, with a pond and lots of too-pretty-to-be-real flowers. A little girl is playing with her dog, who runs after a ball and disappears into the bushes. He's gone too long, and then we hear rustling in the bushes, and I'm ashamed to say I was pretty sure Lucifer or Nick was going to step out of them (I covered the guest star credits on first watch and didn't know who was in this episode). But it's Jack. Oh, then the little girl is Kelly, and he found his way to her heaven! When he tells her he's her son, she changes to grown-up Kelly, who is thrilled to see her son until she realizes she's in Heaven and therefore she must be dead... and so is he. I'm glad Jack has the ability to leave his Heaven and find Kelly's. I mean, if Heaven is made up of your good memories, think of how skimpy and repetitive his would be.

Bunker. Sam and Dean prepare for the ritual as Lily writes instructions for Jack. Dean's still disgruntled about the whole thing, and they argue for a bit. Dean says he just doesn't trust her just as we hear footsteps, and it looks like they're doing it AGAIN - the thing where someone says something bad about the character who is right behind them, and can we just not, please? But it's Cas, not Lily. Yay! He reports that Heaven is in distress and all the gates are open. I guess that will make it easier for him to get in. Sam tells him to go on to Heaven, and when they're ready for him, they'll pray. Oh, so they can still pray to him? Good to know.

Dean paints symbols on the floor as Lily hands Sam a really thick instruction manual for Jack. I wonder how long it took her to write all that? Sam says he has to go "grab one more thing" and then gives Dean a significant you need to apologize look and head tilt toward Lily. I do love these unspoken conversations. Dean's apology is everything you'd expect from a man who learned to apologize at John Winchester's knee, since he says "looks like we got off on the wrong foot" (i.e., it's not my fault) and immediately asks, suspiciously, why she stopped using the angel magic if it's so awesome. He guesses, correctly, that she's letting herself get old, because she wants to die, and why does she want to do that if she's pretty sure she's going to Hell? She says she has a tiny bit of her soul left, and if there's even a teeny chance that she'll get to see her daughter in Heaven, well.

Anyway. Cut to Cas, wandering through Heaven. He comes across puddles of goo and a couple of bodies. Looks like we're down to, what, nine angels now? (As always, it's interesting to me that angels use vessels in Heaven, though I understand it would be pretty difficult to portray them if they didn't.)

(Then again, if we didn't insist on including angel drama, we wouldn't need to show angels in Heaven at all, would we?)

(Just saying.)

Turns out one of the bodies is alive, and it's Duma. She has black goo coming out of her nose and only remembers that when "it" touched her, everything went black. Cas dramatically tells her he's looking for Jack, and she goes with him. They find the spot where Jack was with TFW on the beautiful sunny day, but his food is cold. (Does your food get cold in Heaven? I thought it would stay at the perfect temperature. Bummer.) Naomi shows up and tells them Jack is gone, and that they're under attack. "It" stormed Heaven and they can't stop it. What is it, you might ask? "The shadow. The thing that rules The Empty." Naomi reminds us that Cas and Empty Dude are "old friends" and they show us Empty Dude forming out of the black goo and oh, wait, wait. Is this what was happening last week, when Nick prayed to Lucifer and we saw something skeletal forming in The Empty? It wasn't Lucifer at all? It was Empty Dude? Is that what's going on here? I'm confused. I mean, I'd love for Lucifer to stay asleep in The Empty. So I'm all in favor, if that's what's really happening.

Naomi says Empty Dude wants Jack, and maybe he does belong in The Empty after all, since he's half angel. Well, if I were Jack (or Cas), I'd point out that his grace was mostly gone and he was more human than angel. But no one asked me. Naomi says Empty Dude will destroy Heaven if they don't let him have Jack, and "46,750,000,000 human souls will be cast in the wind." I really want someone with math skills to tell me what percentage that is of all of human life so far, because I wonder how many people Show has decided probably went to Hell. Naomi says one nephilim isn't worth all those souls, and I'm sure she's supposed to be Evil Bureaucrat, but honestly, she's right. But you know Cas won't see it that way. He refuses to help, and then suddenly Naomi is overcome with black goo and she yells at him to run. He does.

Bunker. Sam reads the spell. Lily draws her blood. Anubis shows up. Turns out Egyptian gods also look like bureaucrats, with a suit and briefcase. He recognizes the Winchesters and Dean is kind of snarky with him, which is exactly what you'd do if you summoned an ancient god to ask him for a favor. Lily tells him she wants to know where she's going when she dies, and he says it's against protocol but what the hell (spoiler alert...). He draws an abacus with black and white beads out of his bag ("you were expecting a scale and a feather?") and invites Lily to put her hand above it. The beads move and change color and when they stop, there are more black than white. Well, that ain't good.

Anubis tells her he can't change it, and Dean threatens him because, once again, that's what you do when you summon an ancient god and ask him for a favor. And Sam jumps right in there. Come on, boys, you know how this works. Anubis explains that he's not the one who decides if you go to Heaven or Hell (which you should remember from your experience with his father, fellas.) "You do. Each of you. Your individual choices, all tallied at the precise moment of your death. Keep me here. Try and kill me. It is not going to change Lily Sunder's fate. But it might change yours." Now this is how you threaten someone, boys! There's more silent conversation ("I don't want to go back to Hell, do you?" "Aw, fuck no"), Sam rubs some paint off the floor, and Anubis disappears.

Heaven, I'm in Heaven. Cas and Duma find Kelly's Heaven and there is a joyous reunion. Cas apologizes for not keeping her son alive, and tells Jack they have a way to bring him home, but the magic will draw from a piece of his soul. He pretty much takes any choice away from him by telling Jack that Empty Dude will destroy Heaven if he doesn't come back to life. "Smart," says Duma, except she's not Duma! She's Empty Duma! Oh noes! (The black goo effect really is pretty good, I've got to say.)

Bunker. Sam points out that Lily could still do the spell to save Jack, even though there's nothing in it for her. Because that's what Sam would do. But Lily's not interested, and she packs up her stuff to leave and Sam finally shouts "he's our kid!" and oh, Sam. Just stick that knife in my heart and twist it a bit more, why don't you? Dean says he thinks she's lost so much soul, she's not human any more, because why would she let anyone else lose a child, knowing how it feels?

Heaven. Empty Duma says Jack belongs to her and where she's taking him is worse than Hell, because "at least Hell is something." You know, I think The Empty would be pretty awful if you were awake, but from what we've seen, no one is awake there. Even its ruler was asleep. So, would being asleep forever actually be worse than Hell? I'm thinking not. (Honestly, if Heaven is full of good memories, a big chunk of my Heaven is going to be drifting off in a soft bed in a cold bedroom under flannel sheets and a quilt and a cat.) Anyway, Empty Duma is pleased that her threats are upsetting Cas. He draws his angel blade and attacks, but she flings him into the kitchen cabinets.

Bunker. Jack's body is surrounded by candles. Lily pulls out her locket and kisses the photo of her daughter, then says "I'm ready" and picks up the spell book, so I guess Sam and Dean were able to convince her after all.

Heaven. Fighty fighty.

Bunker. Dean prays to Cas and tells him they're ready. Lily starts chanting.

Heaven. Empty Duma starts to strangle Jack. Cas tells her to take him instead. She drops Jack and then says what I'm thinking, which is that she gets him anyway. "Not for years," he says. "Eons, maybe." But if she lets Jack go, Cas will go with her now. She accepts, but says she won't take him now. She wants him to suffer, so she wants him to go back and be happy, and once he does feel happiness, then she'll come and "drag you to nothing." Cas accepts.

The Empty leaves Duma, and Jack angrily confronts Cas, asking why he made the deal. "Because I made a promise. Because I love you, Jack. Sam and Dean, they love you, and they are fighting for you this very minute." He tells Jack not to let the Winchesters know about the deal, and Jack promises not to tell. {Sidebar: Would Jack even remember what happened in Heaven? Sam and Dean didn't, until Joshua specifically made them remember. But does that mean they naturally forgot every time? Or that Joshua made them forget every time, but in Dark Side of the Moon he decided not to, and he let them naturally remember? Discuss.}

Jack doesn't want to leave Kelly yet, but she tells him she'll be waiting. And this is something that didn't occur to me until rewatch - did Empty Duma give up the right to Jack's soul period, or just for this particular death? If and when he dies again, is The Empty going to claim him again? I would have made that clear, Cas.

Anyway. Cas holds Jack's face and in the bunker, Jack gasps back to life. Sam gives him a spell to read and his eyes glow and he says he feels good. Dean hugs him (because of course Dean gets the hug, why would I think Sam gets the hug, for fuck’s sake) and then the guys notice that Lily has quietly died in the corner. Well, I didn't see that coming.

Nah, that’s cool, I’ll just stand over here and watch, thanks.

We see Lily walking into Anubis's office. He holds up the abacus again and this time, when she puts her hand over it, there are more white beads than black. "Did you know what doing the spell would cost you?" he asks. Apparently she did, and that good deed outweighed enough of her bad deeds that she gets to go to Heaven after all. Yay Lily!

Back in Heaven, Naomi thanks Cas for saving Heaven, even though she knows he didn't do it for them. And she wants to give him a reward. "Like, for example, the archangel Michael's location?" Nice try, Naomi. We all know his location. He's in Lebanon, Kansas right now.

Isn't he?

Bunker. Jack and his dads eat burgers and smile at each other and Dean's glad they know where Michael is. Cas points out that they don't know where Dark Kaia and her spear are, and I'm still thinking about that damn archangel blade, and Jack with his archangel grace which is supposedly regenerating, and why haven't any of them made that connection? Anyway, it's a happy, homey scene, and the camera pans off to the side and I'm absolutely certain that something bad is waiting here. It's going to be a dream, or Dean's eyes are going to flash blue, or something. But no, it just fades to black. Huh.

This seemed a lot more ominous than it should.

So. Let's talk about Cas's deal. I hate it. Jack is back, and the only lasting effect from his brief death is something that will impact Cas. I hate that they took a non-Cas problem and made it a Cas problem. I hate that the rest of the season is going to be about the Sword of Damocles hanging over Cas's head. I want my angst to be over 6 ft tall and to be wearing flannel, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. I just can't get into the sad saga of Cas waiting to be yoinked away. Especially since we know exactly when it's going to happen, even if Cas doesn't. Bad things happen in May, people. (I also wonder why Empty Dude doesn't just go back to sleep.)

And let's talk about the Winchesters' decision to save Jack in the first place. I don't like it. It makes sense only if you know that (1) he'll be taken to The Empty and that it is somehow worse than Hell, and (b) if he doesn't go to The Empty, Heaven will be destroyed. And they didn't know any of that when they decided to go after him. I wanted at least one of them (spoiler alert: SAM) to say "yes this is awful but he was at peace with it and every time we un-kill someone, something awful happens, so maybe we should just let this one go," and of course they would have done the spell anyway, but there should have been some pushback.

And finally, the Michael thing. Are we to believe that Michael is not hiding in Dean after all? Because that means he really did abandon his vessel for no good reason, and that's... that's something that they REALLY need to explain. Hiding in Dean made SO MUCH MORE SENSE. (Could it be that Naomi is lying to Cas? Was she, possibly, Empty Naomi?)

Also, Sam yells he's our kid and then gives him a hearty pat on the shoulder? What the fuck ever.

Anyway, please help me stay unspoiled, thanks!

#spn #14.08 #spoilers #recap #tv recaps #season 14

[minaminokyoko]

Captain Marvel: A Spoilertastic Review

Well, here we are. Our first female-led Marvel movie (unless you count Ant Man and the Wasp, which I kind of do because Scott was basically useless and Hope ran the whole movie like a boss, but too bad she ran the show on a dull, rushed movie). How does it measure up?

It's fine.

I'd coin Captain Marvel as good, not great. It's definitely a popcorn flick, in the same vein of Ant Man for sure in terms of where it fits in our giant pantheon of MCU movies. I'd rank it dead center, so slightly underneath Cap 1 and Thor 2, but above Doctor Strange. I think Ant Man is a good comparison for the tone and the enjoyment of this movie, although it does do more to characterize the main lead than Ant Man did for Scott Lang. To be fair, though, somehow they end up in the same spot for my personal rankings.

So let's dive in and see why.

Overall Grade: B-

Pros:

-Plenty of action. No shortage on that whatsoever.

-Lots of off-world adventures, for those fans who sometimes are annoyed that too many MCU movies are earth-based. We don't hit earth until about the halfway point and there are still some shenanigans then.

-The dynamic between Carol and Fury is a lot of fun. Larson and Jackson work off each other's energy very well and the banter feels fun and familiar without ever veering into any weird territory. Fury is just as effective as ever at her side, and it's before he becomes full on grumpy Dad Fury, so he's a lot less cold and it's fun to see.

-It was also delightful getting to see Coulson one more time, although it's a cameo, not a whole role as some of the trailers sort of imply.

-The female relationships are probably the strongest in the Marvel lineup, aside from Black Panther. Particularly Carol, her best friend Maria, and Maria's daughter. We don't see a ton of it, but it's just enough to put a huge grin on your face. It's very warm and endearing. I also like that Maria was not only a supportive best friend struggling to get over her loss, but she got to join the action as well, and it was badass. I really am happy with Marvel pushing forward to give black women more representation in the superhero genre. Too many folks think black women in film are only sassy best friends or baby mamas or Tyler Perry stereotypes. We love sci-fi/fantasy just as much as everyone else, and so I loved seeing two beautiful black actresses shining next to Brie Larson and Samuel L. Jackson. It lends the film a lot of heart.

-Brie Larson is relatively decent in the role. She has some moments better than others, but overall, she did a good job. It never felt like she couldn't handle the work of beating some ass, and she sold me far more than Gal Gadot did as Wonder Woman. Which, yes, I know, it's unfair and kind of tasteless to compare them, but I have to note it since I didn't care for the WW movie that this is what I was talking about with film presence. Gal Gadot, to me, looks like a supermodel wearing a Wonder Woman costume. To me, she never embodied the poise, agility, and strength that Diana has in the comics or in the animated series. I believed Gadot more during the softer parts of the WW movie, but she couldn't pull off the action because she just doesn't have the presence. Larson does, imo. She carries herself in a manner that makes me feel like she can kick your ass. She has a stance and a stature that allows me to feel her strength, and it's in line with other Marvel women like Widow, Okoye, or Scarlet Witch.

-My favorite part of the movie is hands down the "I'm Just a Girl" by No Doubt scene. Oh my God. I was internally squeeing and singing along with the lyrics while she kicked ass. I was so delighted to see them perfectly use that song that I already liked in high school anyway, and it just worked so well.

-I also liked the montages of Carol getting back up. That is a really, really important image for the girls growing up to see. It's not about how many times you fall. It's about how many times you still get back up. That's great. We fall and get dirty and scuffed and mocked and hated. But we still get up and try again every time. Love it. It's very empowering.

-The de-aging looked pretty good. Jackson is tougher since he's gained weight since the size he was back in the 90's but they filled in his wrinkles well enough. Coulson's looked better, although I did notice just it a tad bit during the stairwell scene, but overall, I thought it was well done.

-Gosh, her costume looks amazing. I want it. I want to wear it for Halloween. It's gorgeous.

-The sequence of the Skrulls acquiring her memories was very neat and uniquely done. Kudos.

-THE MOTHERFUCKING FIRST END CREDITS SCENE. Y'ALL. I SCREAMED. I SCREAMED AND CLAPPED MY HANDS SO HARD I HURT THEM. OH MY GOD. SHE'S ON EARTH. THE QUEEN IS ON EARTH AND WE SHALL ALL BE SAVED. SHE IS GOING TO TURN FUCKING THANOS INTO FUCKING PURPLE CLAM CHOWDER WITH HER BARE HANDS FOR KILLING FURY AWWWWWW YEEEEEEEEEEAH BOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII. Ahem. Sorry. I am really goddamn excited about that tiny piece of Avengers: Endgame because Marvel and the Russos have been so fucking stingy with details. We still don't know the plot. We only have that 30-second Superbowl spot and the Sad Stark trailer. I was livid they didn't give us a final trailer in front of this movie, but I guess with it a month and change away, they're just banking on us frothing at the mouth wanting more. Jerks. But anyway, yes, this fucking scene is mint and I wish I could rewind it.

-Nick naming the Avenger Initiative after her was a great cherry on top moment.

-I fucking lost it when Nick started singing “Mr. Postman.” Deadass, I just started listening to that song about a month ago thanks to that one famous Vine where those dudes sung it acapella. I was dying. You go, Nick. 

Cons:

-This movie overall has a bit of a bland taste to it. It's most revolving around Carol. The problem is that I think they were too chicken to dive deeply into who she is and her personality and her desires because they were afraid the feminists would complain that they made her too soft, so they replaced it all with action. Which is fine, some people just want a girl kicking ass, but I think it did Carol and Larson a disservice by rushing everything and doing drive-by characterization. The dialogue doesn't stick as well due to the bland flavoring, for example. If you ask me who Carol Danvers is, I can't really tell you. I can tell you what she does, but not who she is. I regret that probably the most out of everything. This movie is a bit of a vehicle than a movie where we discover who she is. We discover what she is, but not who she is. She's kind of just every tough, stubborn, smartass female lead you could see in maybe an Avengers OC fic on AO3. She really needed more distinct quirks and likes and dislikes, and I really fault them for cutting out her life on the Kree planet. It would have shown us so much more about her if we knew what her Kree life was like juxtaposed against her original human life, and it could up the stakes and help them sink it, and give more immediacy and concern to the dangers she faced.

-The villains were telegraphed. Again, people ding Marvel for this all the time. It's because they seem to struggle with balance. Often, the villains are thin to cut down the running time by not developing them at all. It's a shame. I've always found Jude Law very entertaining and I think they should have given him something to work with other than Obvious Bad Guy Pretending To Be Good. It was so transparent, much like the bitchy sister villain from Incredibles II. He might as well have been twirling a mustache. I mean, any dude who tells you your emotions are bad is probably not on the up-and-up. And it would have been better to see him and Carol square off at the end in an emotional battle than for it to just be a cheap shot and a joke. But I digress.

-While there was a lot of action, aside from the "Just a Girl" sequence, I will forget it all by morning. I think they wanted the movie to have mass appeal, so a lot of it comes across as generic. The stuff that stands out more are bits like finally seeing what alien Goose actually was or some of Fury's quips and the bits with Maria's daughter and Carol. The action itself is serviceable, but I'd have liked it to have more flavor if possible.

-Not outlining the limit to Carol's powers. This is going to be tough lining up with Endgame because she's so god-like we're gonna wonder if she just bitchslaps Thanos and that's the end. She feels overpowered without the chip limiting her, so I would have liked them to give us some kind of idea as to how she won't just wipe the floor with him in retribution in Endgame.

-Nitpick: Nick losing his eye to Goose annoyed me. People called it. I didn't want them to be right, but ugh, they were. It was a bit too silly for me.

-Nitpick: They really didn't need to waste our time with the second end credits being Goose puking up the Tesseract. We knew he did. You didn't have to show it, dummies.

-Nitpick: Was hoping for some 90's era cameos from at least one other Avenger, but no such luck. Damn. What a letdown.

I had fun, and I am eager to see her fit into the rest of the MCU. And I am also selfishly even more interested in Kamala Khan someday popping in as the new generation of heroes. Please, God, give me Kamala Khan. I want her and my son Peter Parker to team up and be the cutest superhero dorks ever. But until then...God help us all. Endgame is coming.

Enjoy the sunlight coming off of Ms. Danvers.

Because it's finna get dark up in here, my children.

See you in Endgame.

Kyo out.

#captain marvel #captain marvel (2019) #marvel cinematic universe #mcu #movie review #film review #carol danvers

[cynicgm-blog]

Arcane Ascension - Pt. 1

Nick was working in the pasture like every other day. He was twenty years old and had purchased the plot of land two years prior, only to find out that it needed a lot more work before any other livestock could properly live there. The grass and trees were dying from lack of nutrients and rain so Nick had spent his first entire year digging a well and irrigating the land. Last year he planted bean crops sense they were known to help revitalize the ground and it would provide enough profit to get him through the year. He had finally been able to purchase some sheep, which were now grazing in the pasture. He still had to spend his days taking care of them and fixing holes in the fence.

The truth is Nick hated his life. Everyone else in the village had wives by the age of twenty but he never felt anything for anyone. His parents had said it was his job to have kids and that even if he didn’t like anyone, he should just get married to have children. The other people in the village disliked Nick for his odd personality and intelligence.

As Nick worked hard to fix a hole in the fence around his land, an adventuring party had arrived at the small village. Among them were four people. Auwyn was the party leader, an incredibly wise elvish archer known for her skill with the bow. Dan was second in charge, a human who was unknown by choice as he made his living using a dagger and lockpicks. Sebastian, a Sea Elf, was skilled with elemental magics and known for his good nature and willingness to help others. Finally there was Aaron, an alchemist with very little fighting capability but immense utility in nearly every other situation. Auwyn had gathered the party to travel to the village of Jor since Orcs had been raiding through the kingdom and Jor was directly in their path of destruction. Jor was an interesting village because it was in a strategic location at the top of a group of hills with natural rock formations that could be used for cover. Auwyn was certain the group could defeat the Orc tribe before they further damaged the kingdom.

Auwyn is fifty five years old (Equal to somewhere around a twenty year old human) and roughly five foot eleven inches tall. She has long bright red hair which curls near the tips. She wears a set of studded leather armor over steel chain mail. Dan is thirty two years old but manages to appear in his early twenties. His features are what most would describe as “average” and is easily forgettable. Sebastian has never disclosed his age, but most estimate he’s at least a few hundred years old. He stands at six feet three inches tall and wears only simple clothing of a nice design. Sebastian deliberately wears clothing nicer than a commoners but cheaper than anything a noble would touch, allowing him to more easily blend into human societies. His hair is a sea green color. Aaron is a sixty three year old human, easily far older than most commoners ever dream of being. He wears loose fitting robes that cover his entire body and make almost no skin visible. The hood he wears obscures most of his face with the exception of his mouth and his eyes, which glow blue from under the hood.

Unfortunately, as Auwyn discovered the moment they got to town, the village had no actual structure. No town hall or ruling party as far as she could tell. She approached several people but most avoided her or ran, finally she decided to enter the local tavern. She instructed Aaron to begin his preparation while she worked, they’d be defending the town even if they didn’t want them to. She entered and immediately wanted to leave, the tavern smelled of old food and liquor. There were only three people including what she presumed to be the tavern owner and all three looked at her as though she was a demon. She entered slowly, noticing Dan sneaking out of the corner of her eye. Sebastian simply followed behind her, keeping his hands in front of himself.

“You adventurin’ types never come ‘ere fer the drinks, do ya?” The owner said, spit flying from his mouth as he talked. Auwyn fought to hide her disgust. “Unfortunately, we are here on much more grave matters. I noticed a lack of ruling body so I presume you use a democratic process, would you mind calling a town meeting?” She asked, using a higher, more girly tone of voice than normal. People normally responded better to someone who sounded like their daughter. “I uh, suppose I could. Why are you here though?” He said. “No, we’d rather wait.” She responded.

A few hours later the entire town had gathered. There were maybe fifty people in total. Among the group was Nick who was angry to be disturbed as there was much work to be done. His mood instantly improved when he noticed the grou- wait, there was only two of them? He had always thought adventurers came in groups of four or five. Well either way they looked strong, maybe they were looking for something?

Auwyn broke the silence once everyone had finally arrived. “My name is Auwyn, I am an official member of the Adventurers guild and am here to provide service free of charge. A tribe of Orcs have been cutting a swath through the kingdom and are heading directly for your village, my group would like permission from you to set up an ambush here. It is likely we cannot stop them from damaging the surrounding area and there may still be casualties, but we can guarantee that whatever happens will be a much better outcome than if you deny our help.”

The entire village began arguing and debating, many people thought this was  a ploy by the adventurers guild to steal their land or enforce some kind of law/tax on them. After an hour or so of arguing they had finally agreed (I use the term loosely, there was a couple fights and some bribery going on) to let the adventurers use the town. Those living closest to the point of attack would evacuate.

The next three days were full of preparation. The entire party gathered supplies for Aaron. He was their best hope - sure, the three of them could probably kill the entire tribe, but not nearly fast enough to save the town. There would easily be three to five hundred Orcs by this point and they needed something faster than the typical approach. Auwyn was slightly apprehensive of bringing Aaron on this job as he was known for getting... carried away with his projects. Multiple massive runic circles were drawn around the village by this point, each one with intricate symbols and smaller runes in them. Outside the village Aaron had planted many alchemical potions and devices which would likely decimate any who triggered them. Indeed by the time night set they were as ready as they could be. When dawn approached the four set out, ready to defend this village. Aaron activated the runes and each one would fill with magic before the next activated, eventually surrounding the entire town. When the last rune completed, the inside of the ring filled in, revealing it to be a village-wide runic circle. Mana filled the air, creating a dense bubble. Aaron had already warned the villagers not to leave the bubble, else they would not be able to reenter.

The Orcs first emerged at the base of the hill an hour later. Dozens of large humanoids with light to dark green skin, tusks, and brutally large muscles. Each Orc was easily worth five human soldiers because of their brutality. Their weaponry was made from iron fused with blood, creating orichalcum, which wasn’t stronger than steel but heavier and fit the Orcs brutal fighting style. Before they could signal the charge an arrow had flown into the center of the mass, exploding shortly after. Screams and yells filled the morning air as bone shattered and flesh charred. Only fifteen Orcs died and the injured yelled in anger as blood lust filled them. The charge began, the amount of feet hitting the ground causing the earth to shake.

Arrows would fly into the group every second or so, usually taking down an Orc with a single well placed arrow to the heart. When they were half way up the hill they hit the first wave of traps. Explosions began to ring out, white fire exploding outward like water and splashing onto any within range. Those hit by the white fire couldn’t get it off themselves as it melted flesh and caused blood to evaporate. Fifty or so Orcs had died before they hit the second wave of traps. Runic circles began to activate as Orcs ran over them, glowing bright red. Each one had to charge for one and a half seconds before fully activating. Sebastian had been doing his best to work the clouds in the atmosphere, the altitude made it difficult but he’d had days to create and filter the moisture. The storm clouds had formed right on time. As each rune activated lightning would connect from the clouds to the circle, causing explosions of electricity to ring out through the hordes of bodies.

With maybe a hundred of the Orcs dead the back of the horde was finally visible. At the back were the best armored Orcs, likely the chief and his guards. One guard suddenly yelled in pain and surprise as a wound opened on his main arm where it connected to the shoulder. The arm went limp as tendon and muscle were severed. The Orc whirred around with his other arm raised as a dagger pierced his opposite shoulder, the blade twisting after entering the joint and forcing the bones apart. By this point the chief and second guard had began to rush over but saw no visible opponent. The injured Orc began yelling and running around. With both of his arms disabled he chose to bite the air, trying to find the invisible attacker. The chief suddenly fell forward as a wound opened on the back of his knee. The second guard went to help but suddenly had a dagger stab into his stomach from below before ripping to the side, causing his stomach to spill out. He finally saw their attacker, a human armed with daggers who was moving at near imperceptible speeds. He disappeared as the Orc attempted to attack him, appearing again as he jumped into the air above the chief. A dagger penetrated the chiefs back as the man swung over him, landed opposite before lunging to the side and stabbing the first body guard in the thigh. The knife left the guards thigh, blood spraying out from the wound as it then pierced the Orcs chest, slipping between it’s ribs. The knife twisted as it came out, breaking ribs. Dan then jumped, doing a back flip as the Orc attempted to bite him. Dan landed ten feet away and smiled at the Chief as he began to charge. Each of the wounds on the Orcs began to glow bright red before blood sprayed from the wounds, coating the ground in blood. The spray stopped when each Orc had no more blood in their body, each of the body guards falling to the ground. The chief was able to charge and attack with his minimal wounds but was ineffective, blood loss slowing him. Dan simply avoided attacks and opened more shallow wounds on his chest until he died.

Sebastian had finally been able to assist as the Orcs closed within three hundred feet of the village. Stone walls would randomly rise from the Earth, blocking their advance or causing an Orc to impact them. Water began to flood the grounds, rolling down the hills. Lightning began to strike the wet Orcs, conducting through the water and frying them instantly. Arrows continued to kill the Orcs closest to the front. Unfortunately, none of the adventurers noticed as a group of five ran around, attempting to enter the village from another side.

Finally, with about a hundred Orcs left, they impacted the bubble around the village. A further eighty would die as the bubble killed any who touched it, instantly ripping flesh from bone with sheer force. Flesh would remain outside the bubble while their skeletons went through the other side. The bubble faltered and broke after enough entered, leaving a small force. The remaining were quickly mopped up by arrow, dagger, and lightning. Just when the group had finally thought to celebrate they heard the screams and realized a group of Orcs must have gone around the side.

Nick had been at his pasture. It was on the eastern border of the village, far from where the Orcs were supposed to be attacking from. He felt no need to waste time - after all, winter would be here before he knew it and he needed to stock up on food. That was when he heard one of his sheep make a sound of pain. Nick ran out to find five of the green humanoids entering his pasture, attacking his sheep. Two had already died and Nick didn’t know what to do. He had resolved to run - after all, the sheep were useless if he was dead - but the Orcs noticed him before he could turn. They closed in quickly. They seemed to have a quick discussion before four backed off and a single Orc with blade in hand walked up to the pitiful human.

The Orc swung the blade at Nick who devoted everything he could to avoiding the blade. He had never learned any kind of combat, never trained, but he had spent his entire life working. He had strong muscles and was used to long periods of work. This allowed him to narrowly avoid most of the blows although one eventually caught his leg, causing blood to spray from the wound as he backed up. Adrenaline kept him from feeling the pain as he finally overcame his fear. Nick decided if he was going to die then it wouldn’t be for free, he had worked for everything he had ever gotten and he damn sure wasn’t going to give this Orc his land easily. He struck with his hands, fists impacting the sturdy flesh of the Orcs chest. It seemed ineffective as the Orc started backing away so he could easily use the sword. Nick didn’t know much about Orc anatomy but he hoped they were similar to humans as he made sure to stay in close and raised his leg, stomping with all his weight on the Orcs knee cap. Sure enough the force was enough to bend it backwards as bone snapped. The Orc yelled in anger as Nick grabbed at the blades handle. A claw pierced into his side as the Orc attack with his free hand. Nick haphazardly kicked at the downed creature as he attempted to wrest the blade away. He started to feel dizzy and realized the hole in his side must be bleeding heavily as he finally got the sword from the Orc and with his last breath, raised the blade and swung it blindly at the body. Nick collapsed, taking one last look at his opponent. The Orc had a sword blade buried in his neck and was bleeding out. They made eye contact before the Orc died. The other Orcs began to walk over, seemingly laughing at their comrades defeat. Nick began to wonder how he was still alive as he realized the Orcs blood was running from his body, and seemingly entering his own. Flesh regrew and his ribs began to reconnect as the blood entered him. Just as the four Orcs got to him, ready to finish him off, he felt a surge of immense power and stood. The fallen Orcs blood had healed him and Nick now had a ring of the blood flowing around himself. His actions weren’t really his own, he simply acted instinctively as the ring formed a barrier to block sword swings. He began to form spikes on the barrier and as they pierced the enemy Orcs their blood was added to the shield, causing it to grow. Eventually the Orcs began to back off, realizing their attacks were a waste of effort. Nick drew the blood back and formed it into a wide blade, slicing downward and cutting an Orc completely in half. His blood added to the pool and Nick formed it into twenty individual spikes, firing them outward at the three remaining Orcs. The bodies fell to the ground, twitching as they bled out. All of their blood joined the pool as Nick pulled it close to himself.

Auwyn had just reached the source of the yelling, a pasture near the eastern border of the village. One of the villagers was standing there and it took a moment to dawn on her that he seemed to be controlling blood and blocking attacks with it. He wielded it like a weapon, killing the remaining Orcs. Auwyn mentally communicated with Sebastian “One of these commoners is a blood mage, contain him.” Sebastian nodded as he closed from the side. Nick was afraid as walls of rock began to emerge from the ground, encasing him. He pulled the blood inward, compressing it as small as he could. The blood compressed into a tiny ball before exploding outward, carving holes into the box. The walls broke down from the damage, collapsing. A chunk of rock impacted Nicks back, causing him to fall and instantly break several ribs. He spat his own blood as more rock grew around his wrists, pinning him there. He blacked out from the pain.

Auwyn and Sebastian took the unconscious man and locked him in iron shackles before constructing a prison on the site. A building of rock formed and Sebastian reinforced it with granite after seeing this guy nearly destroy solid earth with blood. After the prison was finished and Dan informed on what happened they sat down to discuss the matter. “Does he look like anyone you’ve seen posters for?” Auwyn asked. “I’ve never seen him before, but if he’s a blood mage then odds are there’s a bounty for him somewhere. Came to live a in a rural village to escape the law, obviously.” Dan replied. “If I may interject... I’ve been around the town. His name is Nick and he’s a social outcast, but grew up here. I believe we’ve found a dormant blood mage who just got his first dose of blood.” Aaron said, his low, raspy voice and weird accent still creeped Auwyn out. “If that is the case then he may not be executed, but we still have to bring him back to the guild either way. We can’t leave something as potentially catastrophic as a blood mage here, where he could grow his power and learn everything the wrong way.” Sebastian chimed in. Auwyn thought about it for a moment. “If he grew up here and is only twenty then it’s unlikely he’s committed a crime. It’s not exactly the first time a peasant has managed to kill an Orc, especially if it was a weaker one. They do tend to overestimate their abilities, attempting to fight one on one to prolong the suffering. We will need to take him to the guild and let Guildmaster Cassiel know.” Auwyn finally said. The others nodded in approval.

Nick awoke in a dark room. He didn’t feel any pain so he assumed his wounds were healed. His hands were shackled behind his back. There was no visible entrance or exit, and there was very little light filtering in through small cracks near the ceiling. He wasn’t sure who attacked him or why he was in this box, but with no way out he resolved to simply wait. Eventually a door shaped section of wall descended into the ground, allowing light to filter in as a group of four people entered. He recognized them as the adventurers. “Why have you taken me captive? I have done nothing wrong!” Nick yelled, angry that he would be imprisoned like this for no reason. “I apologize for the trouble but we had to take precautions. Do you remember how you survived the attack?” Auwyn asked calmly.

“One of the Orcs attacked me, it looked like the other four were cheering him on. I... I killed him, but he should’ve killed me at the same time. His blood healed me and I instinctively began using it and next thing I knew I’d killed them all. That’s when that box appeared around me and I blacked out.” Nick said, slowly coming to grips with the situation as he said it aloud for the first time.

“Do you know what they call people with your abilities?” Auwyn asked. Nick showed a look of confusion. “You are a blood mage, Nick. One of the few. Your kind are exceedingly rare and feared by many. There is much to discuss and we have a long journey ahead. Unfortunately we cannot leave someone like you here in this rural village, at least not right now. We are taking you to the capitol, to the Adventurers Guild, and there Guildmaster Cassiel will have final say on what happens to you. It is unlikely you’ll be harmed since you have committed no crimes, however, he may decide you need to be trained or otherwise watched.” Auwyn said, attempting to seem sympathetic.

Nick thought about it. “The truth is I’ve always wanted to leave this place. I lost a lot of sheep to those Orcs in the attack so I’m already down a lot of money.. I have no reason to stay.” Nick said. Auwyn nodded.

The next day they were to leave. Sebastian informed the group he sent advanced warning of their arrival, and a brief summary of what happened. “How? I haven’t seen a courier in ages, let alone one that could go fast enough to make a difference.” Nick asked. “I am an Elf, in case you couldn’t tell. My kind are capable of telepathic communication over long distances. Cassiel is a human so I can’t just tell him everything, I had to send an abridged message to an Elf I know near him in the hopes that they will relay the message accurately.” Sebastian replied in a matter of fact tone. Nick nodded, feeling stupid.

Cassiel had just finished hearing one of the most interesting reports he’d gotten in years. A blood mage, unaware of their own power, found in a rural village on accident. No crimes committed and capable of being taught. If the guild could get a blood mage and teach him to use his power for good, without slaughtering innocents, they could potentially have a massive advantage over everyone else. Cassiel twisted his longsword, an agonized yell escaping the mouth of the soldier on the ground in front of him. Cassiel stood amidst an army, many of the soldiers already dead. An elf to his side was idly dodging arrows. Cassiel was a five foot ten inch tall human with blond hair and golden eyes. His armor is a shining silver and gold full plate with metal angel wings attached to the back. His sword glowed with powerful magic. He stared out at the remaining enemies. “Bellum.” He spoke the word precisely, making sure every sound was perfect and although none of the enemy soldiers understood it every one of them knew fear. Those on Cassiels side, those who watched in horror, knew it to be a true name. Each of the enemy soldiers screamed in agony as their enemies rose from the dead, animated by mana and struck them down until no man remained and the ground was covered in a pool of blood.

#writing #fantasy #blood magic #Arcane Ascension

[elizabethrobertajones]

13x21 watching notes

Not. Enough. Hugs.

Expectations: Bobo is gonna write his last episode which will make every other writer heading to the door trying to churn out some swan song fare thee well nonsense taste like ash.

I will probably cry because this mofo makes me cry all the time and I hate it because I never cry at Supernatural and the last couple of years Bobo has me leaking everywhere

-

Recap!

Lucifer saying they'll find Jack and remake the world in his image. Gross. No thanks.

Sam and Rowena bonding over seeing Lucifer's true face and it being awful

Gabriel complaining they took all his grace

Michael, Mary and Jack's adventures

Gabriel and Rowena being the most powerful allies. What a world. Like 10 episodes ago it wasn't even like this at all :P

A last glimpse of Sam's stupid parting shot about them dying together. Whee. Sarcasm font.

-

Um.

Okay so this is either a dream or the future (yes.) or my next fic, and I'm only 1 second in, but all I know is that Jack, dressed all in white because he's Jesus, is watching Dean eat his 7th bit of pizza with pure horror, while Cas lovingly, smilingly, chides him for it.

Oh yeah there's Mary, laughing in the background. And she's wearing a different but still white and blue (Mother Mary) plaid.

This dialogue is literally bunker fluff banter about Jack counting Dean eating his pizza slices and Dean calling him a narc for saying so.

"John and me, we used to call him our little piglet" I am so happy. Pre-tragedy Winchester family fluff. My heart.

Sam offering to help Mary do the dishes

Dean getting Cas to punt him another pizza once Mom is no longer watching. Dear lord. The silent "gimme pizza" moment of our dreams.

Sam checking in on Mary!! How are you since... Being over there

Sam's wearing the same shirt from the end of 12x22

"I always knew you and Dean would come and save us. And you did."

-

Yep that was Sam's dream, which of all the available options was the absolute worst because he's the one who wasn't talking at the table, but has been missing a family the most, missing out on Mary, missing out on having Cas and Jack around, having Dean being normal. Wanting the relationship with Mary, and all the fun nuggets like "my little piglet" which makes her tease Dean and make Sam laugh... Oh god my heart. I'm a minute in and I can't take it.

-

And Mary starting to act like an alarm clock, Sam Sam Sam Sam, to wake him up. Oh no. Oh noooo it's awful. The alarm clock corrupted her in the dream: his image of her is so dependant on what's around him, so easy for her to be snatched away, when he thinks he's having a good moment with her at long freaking last

-

Last season I staked my entire house on the Sam and Mary dynamic being key and it felt like very few others cared, certainly not in the wider fandom, and along with that there was a whole lot of not understanding either of them. I'm so glad that Sam and Mary's dynamic has been more centrally placed this season and signposted because I'm so fed up that I spent all that energy on it last season and ended up feeling like I was shouting into a void :P

-

"He needed to extract his grace *finger quotes* in private" *Sam looks up like uuuuuh* "So I left him alone in Dean's room" *Dean looks up like EXCUSE ME DEAR DID YOU JUST SAY -

"What? No!"

Sam smirks, Dean looks pleadingly at Cas.

I was just joking in 13x20 about how Dean n Gabriel have a weird vibe about them, but I think at this point Dean is just thinking you left the skankiest archangel alone in my room???

I don't think there's a subtextual whatnow between them about this, he just doesn't want to know what angel grace looks like under a blacklight

-

Awww Rowena is wearing orange... With a turtleneck.....

#Samwitch forever #Jinkies!

-

making jokes about Gabriel's essence last episode and now the left him alone in the room to do it, and showing off Zerbe's merch and they're all just peering at that lil dot of glowiness... Gabriel is getting a lot of impotency jokes here.

-

"That is the jet fuel of divine emissions!"

*Dean pulls another face re: emissions*

-

Jesus CHRIST the rift is literally SAGGING FLACCIDLY

Bobo I hate you

-

of the 5 of them, Rowena's face remains, as ever, a total gem.

-

holy shit and then Gabriel lowers his blade as well

who DIRECTED THIS SHIT?

-

They all sigh and Gabriel lets his blade flop entirely to his side

-

Rowena looks completely unimpressed.

-

"Well that was fast" "One could say premature." "I thought it would be enough!"

Jesus christ what is happening in the latter part of the episode that we're getting this scene now?

-

Oh my god that was just the COLD OPEN

-

As always though, Cas being the one who has to say the really horrible thing, like, they will all just wait for him to proclaim the bad news. Maybe he just likes people to say things out loud even when they're obvious *clears throat* but also he always has that streak where he will suggest the awful plan and be first to realise some horrible path that they must take.

-

TFW retires to the kitchen to talk. Sam sits on the steps, now the exile, while Cas leans on the family dinner table. It's the place he goes in his head which has the best service. The connection to his family. Dean leans as well, Cas and Dean mirroring each other, providing more of a united front, as the two of them have the emotional headspace to root for this plan, however Sam feels, while Sam is caught by his trauma, isolated, hunched up and small on the floor, less of their party.

-

Every time it ends the same way - with the Devil on the loose again.

Hey at least this time he's already on the loose so even the worst case is that nothing changes :P

-

Well no the worst case is that he somehow possesses Rowena and takes the most powerful witch ever for a joyride.

Actually no he's locked in his vessel

-

the worst case scenario is they kill him before they get the grace, so they have to wait for Gabriel to charge up and *oh no* Lucifer is dead

-

God, Cas saying "the worst possible violation" re: being possessed by Lucifer is so ridiculously validating. He understands what Sam went through and he's showing he understands, feels the same way. The two of them have this connection of knowing what it's like, and Sam hears from Rowena that she knows what it's like to be tortured by him, hears from Cas what it's like to be possessed by him... His support group is here

-

I still love the camera angle of Cas standing in front of Dean and Dean behind him and the camera is flattening them together.

After the directing on the soggy rift, and Mittens telling me Phil is responsible I'm just like... no surprises here mate.

-

Plus. Cas had a shoulder!Dean there

-

Gabriel yoinks a book out of the shelf. It's Laying Pipe. A beginner's guide to plumbing and pipe fitting.

The cover is suitably phallic.

Gabriel is standing by the katana - the pointy one that the BMoL kept sharp. Ya know, sword sharpening.

Something he was having issues with just now despite all his sharp wooden swords last week.

-

Penis.

-

"It's not always like that!!""Gabriel, please."

She was waiting for him to break that tension.

*manly virile page turning*

*more angry defences*/"I don't need to hear excuses!"

... Rowena being left alone in the library to tease their other guests is the best part of the show and they should start a regular segment which is talkshow style of Rowena plus whatever poor sucker of the week is hanging out in the bunker

"It doesn't make me any less of an archangel!" "mright."

-

Oh now you're blaming Rowena for your perfomance, huh, buddy?

-

Rowena saying a drunk six year old could operate the spell is probably not commentary on the fact that Dean is the last person to do it, huh?

-

Rowena saying "the three amigos with their bro hugs, pep talks and melodrama" changes the fundamental dynamic - the stereotype of their nonsense is the three of them hugging it out, instead of in 10x05, the last time they were meta textually mocked for it, Sam n Dean getting the BM scenes, and Cas and Dean's in-show dynamic not being explictly referenced except for the fact that Dean clearly thought the personal space jokes were being taken too far before he had the explanation. This makes it clear the BM moments are about TFW, uses the fact that the 3 of them are all together right now to put them all in one room and have them talking out the latest issue together away from the others, in order to establish that Cas is firmly a part of what was once the bro dynamic.

Of course he's had moments where he hangs with them in what otherwise would be the BM scene of the episode right the way through, but THIS is a metatextual statement about the dynamic, one that is more than just Rowena's snark, but writer commentary on another level, pulling on our pre-existing understanding of the show mocking the BM moments to make it expressly clear that Cas is involved too.

If Bobo is on the way out to nurture the Wayward Sisters, then this is one of those closing statements on his way. That he wants us to understad that Cas is intrinsically a part of this dynamic, and that the FUNDAMENTAL CORE of the show, the BM Scene, is a TFW inclusive incident no matter whether all 3 of them are involved in it or not, it is a thing they do TOGETHER and is NOT a justthebros meta joke. The BM thing is not just the concept of Sam and Dean looking weepy at each other over the car. It's their FAMILY, together, just as Bobo shows Sam dreaming of their FAMILY being TFW, mom and Cas's weird son who counts how much pizza you eat.

-

Jesus christ I was going to make a joke that Rowena and Gabriel would probably bang as my next point to break the mood of that rant but I hit play and she's checking out his tush and inner monologuing it.

Never mind.

they gonna bang

-

"She's so tiny. and angry."

I stan 1 heterosexual couple.

-

Ahahahaha he noticed her dancer's body and wondered how flexible she is. Oh dear. I'm gonna back off because I may or may not have written this exact thing in my notes in her last episode

-

They're adorable.

-

"So, we've a little time."

Oh dean's room is not going to get out of this unscathed

-

She raises up the wooden pestle.

"to fill what?"

-

*red flashing sign which says 'PENIS' is glaring uncontrollably in the corner of the screen*

-

Listen, because these two are the skankiest archangel and rowena, who is, well, rowena, we are getting to enjoy subtext for the sake of immediate pay off that they're openly attracted to each other and we're literally getting their checking each other out and staring into each other's eyes montage.

Sure does help with the show doing this more subtly in other places.

-

SHE'S

i

Phil -

BOBO

-

yeah and abruptly to give them some privacy, back to TFW who are gonna come to whatever conclusion, go looking for Gabriel and Rowena, and end up knocking on Dean's door, open it, there they are in a heap in his bed.

-

Bobo "invented the fan fiction gap" Berens writing like it's going out of style

-

Oh no Sam's sitting next to the coffee maker that was briefly haunted by Kevin, in a Bobo episode.

-

"I don't like it, but it's our only choice. Our fun, great choice."

Bobo I forgot how much I love your Sam. Your Sam makes me laugh and cry. And here is sarcastic Sam, briefly returning from hiatus, and of course you are writing my favourite and the best version of Sam.

He gets to call out how they make these choices all the time where they have to go do horrible things, even against their own trauma. When he'd rather be anywhere else.

-

Dean points out they only have 24 hours as a complaint, but Sam has a "wait a second" which maaay or may not be resolving that. But first, they go find their archangel and witch -

Dean looks a little perturbed

-

Awwww they were only making out among the books, not defiling Dean's room.

Shame.

-

Cas's head immediately tilts.

Fan fic aside, this is the most action the Bunker has EVER seen.

Unless Sam and Eileen hooked up in 12x17, that is.

The most confirmed action. No one has ever brought a date back here.

Dean still has not hooked up with Cas. That we know of.

-

"Reading books... here in the library... Which is the room we are in now." Well okay sure

Sam is utterly horrified. Take your shipping pick on which one or both of them he's most affronted by.

Gabriel is 100% that guy you can NOT introduce to your attractive friends.

-

What is Cas even doing

he's like... I can't even look at you, Gabriel

-

Oh, bartender in the shirt Gabriel will be in very shortly. *pretends not to be surprised*

I guess we're not hearing the plan yet :P

-

The bartender sounds awfully concerned about how much Lucifer is drinking - if it's Gabriel, he's needling him about how much he's drinking, maybe just to hear how he justifies it.

-

"I had Heaven... Hell... in the palm of my hand. You know what I learned?" Me, internally: "Nothing."

Lucifer grumbling about how they don't matter, though. They don't matter to HIM, but they matter for the world running smoothly. The natural order, the cogs whirring as they should, would all do so much better without you around. Wherever you go, you don't fit in and you suck.

- He moves on to grumbling about Jack and how he can't find him, how it doesn't matter because "his bitch of a mother poisoned him against me, probably forever" - humanity is a poison to him. Love and compassion literally toxic.

-

"I'm sure things will work out in the end. Jack will come around!"

I know Gabriel is just trying to troll Lucifer, but it does read as ominous, because all season the low key threat has been there that Jack might end up going at least a little darkside. More darkside than being reckless and accidentally hurting people. Going over a darkside where he doesn't immediately feel dreadful about the people who get hurt around him.

-

Hahaha he's so drunk. Rowena can magically roofie him. Wonderful.

And of course at the reveal, Gabriel has Kingdom Beer signs on top of him. The sign of the Kingdom of Heaven.

(I continue kinda wondering/hoping about the prodigal son return for Gabriel)

The thing is, how did they know Lucifer would be here or receptive to being roofied? Honestly, if this episode keeps up the quality, I won't question it beyond this note :P

-

Oh I love this confrontation.

"Surprise"

He runs out of a bright white door and right through the other side.  This feels a LOT like Chuck's bar in 11x20, which calls back to Robbie's fare thee well episode, and reminds us that Gabriel really is the most like his father of all his sons, but also is the trap in the fairy tent with Charlie in 8x11.

There's a stag on the door, and that's more virile imagery.

-

If Gabriel is low on grace, I'd imagine this is Rowena's work, for the most part, and Gabriel just has to be intimidating enough to make this work.

-

Oh look here's someone else "back from the dead" ... It's not Lucifer's day

and even if she's not on the fullest full power, she's ready to meet Lucifer, because Sam's the one who kills her.

-

He must think he's hallucinating some people he killed, until it all get too real.

-

"Put me out of my misery! Go ahead!"

this is what I like to hear.

Sadly, I doubt they will. But it's still music to my ears.

Lucifer reaching the nadir of this arc, wherever it's supposed to go... I hope to his death, and it would be nice if he did die at the end of the season and the show was brave enough to move on to a world without Lucifer. With the apparent draw of Mark P to some parts of the audience I'm scared they won't, but at the very least it's seeming somewhat plausible right now, as he's brought down again and again and shown to have no moral fibre, no redeeming qualities, no drive to do better. Through and through, vile and useless, the story tells us, agreeing with how he comes across, how Mark P as Lucifer makes us feel in a way that the energy of Casifer did not convey at all because that all seemed to be at least for a purpose and Casifer was fun, and it didn't seem to be implying Lucifer trailing on and on and unendingly on as it ended up being >.>

-

take 2 of the spell! Lucifer trussed up in the Bunker library, Dean perching on a table. Get your muddy boots off that chair.

-

I love watching him kneeling there leaking grace. I'm petty like that... I feel like everyone in the room is too. It has a feeling like when they stole Metatron's grace, but instead no one cares to heal him and they're not even really aiming to make him human, they're just kinda. Ew. Lucifer. Who cares.

-

Rowena's trousers are INCREDIBLE.

-

I swear they used "stuck pig" in the last couple of episodes, or I'm imagining that?

Anyway Sam's plan is the least they could do to Lucifer

hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe

-

This is what happens when you suck: eventually a bunch of guys (gender neutral term) pin you down, leave you frozen in place dripping grace in a gross way, and all laugh at you before they leave

-

"When we get back, then we'll kill you."

Nice plan. Sadly, nice as it is, it gives Lucifer wiggle room to not be here or not be dead >.>

Rowena staying behind with him is unconcerning when Sam goes through the rift in the sense of character death (and she's a lot more confident around Lucifer all of a sudden :P) but I still don't want anything too bad to happen to her :( Still, it seems like a half-assurance that she will be okay.

-

"Save your mum," Rowena says.

The main problem, of course, being that Lucifer knows Mary is there, doesn't know Jack is there, but while they played it very cool, it's worryingly likely he's starting to guess that Jack is in there, whether he can sense him through the rift or he just has a feeling that this might be it...

-

Ahahahaha it's on a hill

Sam and Cas roll down it, Gabriel kinda cartwheels, and Dean comes out running and does a cool skid down the hill.

Oh gross, Gabriel ended up face first in Cas's crotch :P Dean is like FIRST YOU DEFILE ROWENA AND NOW CAS? HOW DARE -

-

IS THIS ENTIRE EPISODE ABOUT PENISES?

-

Dean is just... wow

-

You guys, sometimes it's easy to meta an episode and sometimes it is very very hard and sometimes you don't even wanna type the words very very hard

-

"Kentucky. North East Kentucky" are we here entirely because of Asmodeus or is this to put us kinda halfway between Michael and Jack's last known location? Not that they know Michael's current location.

-

Rowena has no time for concern trolling about being "left behind in the kitchen" when she knows the only reason Lucifer would care is because he wants out.

She also reminds him he's being emasculated, because yes, this episode is all about penises.

-

Lucifer switches to being annoying, singing the same song as the password to Billie's pad in 11x10 - the episode where he first killed Rowena.

-

Gabriel walking along holding his blade at a 90 dergee angle to his body

-

Cas drops by to casually check how Gabriel is feeling about running Heaven maybe perhaps pretty please?

Gabriel points out all the things which could kill them first before they ever need to worry about that

Oh gosh he did have sex with Rowena. At some point. Maybe not right then in the library unless he magically dressed her again. But some point between then and now. Pfft.

-

Poor Dean's room I guess.

-

Cas is remarkably good at steering this conversation, when he has a point to get to. He has learned a considerable amount of tact before getting to "Heaven's dying, Gabriel," because for one thing he hasn't hauled him aside and said all this sooner. I'm always pleased when Cas's people skills are apparent.

-

"They wouldn't want me back, Castiel. As far as they're concerned, I'm a screw up. Hell, as far as *I'm* concerned I'm a screw up."

Oh, no. Please don't make me like you any more than I already do. This is the opposite conversation to 9x18 in the car with meta!Gabriel, Cas having to bring up the subject of Gabriel leading Heaven. It has to be him because they need an archangel, so there's no double bluff to pull where Cas could do it instead. There were 9x18 vibes all over last episode right down to Dean having a soft moment over the phone from a motel with Cas while they worked 2 ends of a case, and now we have this. 9x18 is steering a little bit from the background.

I LIKE the idea of Gabriel as the leader of a mostly stable but much more chill Heaven. And this seems tentatively positive, that it's maaaaybe just a self-esteem/compatibility thing. This is what is immediately being offered as the first obstacle to mind. Gabriel left, because of his brothers, but they're all dead or bound in the main world. They daren't haul Michael out of the pit, even just to imprison him in Heaven to keep the lights on, apparently, which just leaves him. And his major reasons for leaving are all gone now. No more archangels. Just him.

Which means that I was right after Naomi asked Cas to see about getting him back, that this comes down to how Gabriel feels, that after all this isolation, it's about does he feel he can return home, and how will home feel about him returning.

-

"Well, heaven's been run into the ground by upstanding angels. Perhaps a screw up is what we need."

ILY babe

-

*Cas looks hopefully at Gabriel*

*Conversation ends with a long shot of their walk in the woods*

-

Well that was a veeeery interesting note to leave that. As I was saying a few hours ago about 13x20, it may be that Gabriel doesn't need to find something to stand for to die for, but to LIVE for, which is a much more positive thing. I really actually kinda like the way this dovetails with Heaven's problems as a reason to compel him to go back, because Gabriel approaching it like a screw up who doesn't want to break anything sure is better than an egomaniac having a go.

-

Sam is feeling bouncier just to be in the same universe as mom and Jack

he wants the pizza party

let him have the fucking pizza party

it was just his birthday!

-

He's wearing his dumb backpack he's had season season 1 and it makes me unhappy in a "oh god he was so tiny" way

-

He's also being unnervingly optimistic about how close they are to winning, to getting Mary and Jack back, and he's finally got optimism. His mood is basically defined by this to such a horrible degree.

... Which is totally not a parallel to the beginning of the season where Dean was miserable until they got Cas back at which point he was so happy that Sam called him out on it

-

*distant screams of campers being menaced by a wendigo in the woods*

-

"Not our world, not our problem."

Dude, they're hunters wherever

-

Interesting how everyone here knows about the supernatural, so random hikers keeping low off the grid will know what was attacking them. And some basic lore about how vampires were affected by the lower population and starvation

-

TBH the comparison to the wendigo in looks isn't too wildly far off; they're both humans who have become completely monstrous in a way where they go off the deep end

-

The rebels Jack and Mary set up a colony there ... that could be anyone

-

Oh, great, tunnel of terrifying vampires. This is a distraction/time waste that will probably eat up the rest of the episode for them and cause nothing but pain >.>

-

Oh, we're only halfway through...

-

Gah how are we only halfway through??

-

Oh no, Rowena. Being left alone with Lucifer being annoying is one thing. Being left alone with him talking about how he murdered her is not a thing where she can play up the vindictiveness of the situation... trauma is trauma and just because she has him bound and knows he can't kill her isn't something that makes her entirely immune to facing that :(

-

Oh Rowena

-

Oh no

-

... Although within that Rowena casually calls them "his three fathers" which is hilarious and also particularly awful for Lucifer to  hear because it was bad enough knowing that Jack liked Cas more than him when he didn't know that

-

Yeeeep she didn't know that winding him up makes him stronger because anger is where his power comes from because he's so fuckin awful

-

Also ew he has something to fight for.

At least until Jack smushes him like a bug /wishful thinking

-

Oh for - he didn't even jump into the portal, she threw him off of her and he went in it by accident.

I mean, just for accountability stakes, adding it all up, could that have been any more her fault? Bleh :P

-

I assume the portal will still stay open a lil while, but

-

Oh, she's packing the Black Grimoire.

Good.

Now, is she actually going into the rift to save them, while putting on her fancy coat and scarf and all?

Or is she leaving?

-

"Not my problem!"

-

Those guys are your friends.

"BOLLOCKS!"

How DARE I have feelings. FEELINGS.

-

I guess Gabriel is also on the other side of the rift.

They're soulmates :P

-

Omg it's not the old mine from 1x02 and 11x19

I'm actually disappointed

-

Heheh everyone has glowsticks

party!Cas

-

THIS PLACE IS SCARY AND I DON'T LIKE IT

-

WHERE IS THE RAVE?

-

Wonder how much speculation we'll get about Dean looking up at that one bright light and being in a spotlight under it... Like, Michael-wise.

It is interesting to single him out with the spotlight.

-

*Cas and Gabriel just casually moving rocks*

Look, Cas could blast those all away but they're trying to play it cool for the campers

-

Who may or may not get picked off by vampires

-

No, Sam is wandering

he will be picked off by vampires

-

Bobo you need to stop killing Sam

-

I mean theoretically you just murdered Sam and are ditching the show to go write Wayward like hah hahahaha no consequences here I am the showrunner, now I will make Claire and Kaia kiss

-

Think of how Jody will feel, my guy

-

...

Okay that's enough of the "Sam is permanently dead lol" joking.

-

"Saaaam!" Cas yells and disappears down the tunnel

-

Cas comes back Sam-less and makes Dean leave too. I'm gonna be ship neutral on account of how Sam just got eaten by vampires. But it was intense and sad.

-

Yet, somehow, less sad than that time Cas died in front of Dean, when it comes to OTT melodrama. I mean there was a lot of shouting, but Dean's still moving.

-

Dean looks great

-

Hey, I guess 11x17 was good practice for this.

-

Cas ought to be walking with him holding his hand. It's criminal to make him do this alone

-

Wow, Sam you look terrible.

-

Guys, are you really going to destroy the angel warding on the camp? That's SUPER DANGEROUS

-

MARY

HUGS

YAY

(Why are you not hugging Cas?)

-

So yeah, you gotta tell mom that Sam's dead now

-

Just to get you

-

You can have one (1) family member at a time

-

Aw no don't cry!!!

-

Look, your brother was just taking a snooze because the rave got too real! He and his glowstick are fine!

...

Somehow

-

Is he a vampire?

-

Mittens tells me he's not a vampire, which just makes this all the more confusing

-

Aw

shit

-

Sam's like, can we go back to when I was dead?

-

Okay now he's heard Lucifer's story he's like can I REALLY go back to being dead?

-

This is like when someone wakes you up in the morning and you just don't wanna get out of bed. In that moment, no matter how much you love that person, they are to you metaphorically what Lucifer is to Sam right now.

Fitting, that it started with him vs his alarm clock as a loved one

Now we see the even darker side to mornings

-

Look, I'm kinda... horrified here so I'm just...

Can you kill this fucker and get back to your family already?

-

HONESTLY if I was Sam I'd take my chance with the wall of angry vampires rather than stick around for this conversation

-

"You need me"

... no shade on that concept though or anything, when it's a wall of angry vampires vs pretending to like Lucifer so he can hang out with Jack

-

I mean seriously I love Sam to bits but I'd be genuinely happy to see him torn apart by vampires again just to spite Lucifer.

-

Oh JACK no sweetie

We didn't even see them getting to hug each other, it's just straight to Gabriel sitting quietly, Jack pacing miserably, demanding why they didn't bring Sam back

-

Oh, he's fine

all that stress for nothing

-

"Please don't judge this friend I made at the rave, it was a really really bad night."

-

Do you ever find yourself staring into space thinking, "I would genuinely have been happier if the last shot of the episode was Sam being torn apart by vampires for the second time in 15 minutes?"

-

This is gonna go over swimmingly in a Buckleming episode for all the character dynamics. They are the only writers left who seem to actually like Lucifer.

-

Why does everything build up to stuff that needs to be handled by not-Buckleming right before a Buckleming episode anyway?

#13x21 #my stuff #I am in emotional shock #season 13 spoilers #D: #bobo fanclub #how very dare you

[broadhurstblog-blog]

A rough draft/timeline...

Once upon a time, I was a quiet child, who excelled in sports and could string together good sentences every now and again.

I received a certificate at the end of my first year in a boy’s secondary school in East Hertfordshire, by my departing English teacher called Ms Prole. It was certified that I was  ‘Most Daydreaming Pupil.’

I was a child who lived inside his imagination, thought deeply about things. I had a fair amount of friends, most of them being at least two years older than me.

We would break into old bomb shelters, explore hard, found a small woods that contained concrete bunkers, and convinced ourselves we had discovered a secret, disused American airbases. I would go on long bike rides, often finding great secluded bodies of water that contained hard to catch fish. I played for a local bottom of the league football team, on often flooded fields that used to be paddocks.

Then something changed.My granddad died when I was twelve.Losing a wonderfully wise man whose wisdom I took for granted, well, it hit me really hard.My thoughts seemed to constantly focus on death.Over the course of the next year or so, my behaviour changed drastically, I became extremely undisciplined, argumentative, I got suspended from school on several occasions.With the help of an Educational Officer – psychiatrists and psychologists took an interest in me.After a few sessions with various medical professionals, my parents were informed with confidence that I had a condition called manic depression and that it was caused by a  chemical imbalance/ deficiency of a salt in my brain.After being sure that my heart, kidney or liver was free from defects, I was prescribed Lithium Carbonate.

I took the medication most days between the ages of 14 and 18.

At first, my behaviour did not improve, and it was decided that I should spend time in an adolescent unit of the psychiatric wing of a hospital near St. Albans.

It was a very strange place, most of the resident children there were unwanted orphans I seem to remember.

A lot of the nurses were very heavy-handed in their restraint techniques, and doctors loved nothing more than to sedate those of us not willing to take part in various group activities.

The heavy-handed ways, the use of an exclusion room and the sedation syrup, for even the smallest of infractions – it makes me question the ethics and morals of some of the staff, but nothing I was privy to was against the law as far as I can tell. (There has been stories in the news recently about the police investigating historic abuse allegations, I can’t testify to being abused, but it certainly wasn’t the holiday camp that the staff tried to portray to my parents. Maybe the memories of that place would have been a lot worse without a father and mother looking out for me).  

After a couple of months I was back to school.

I was the shadow of my former daydreaming self, but I no longer displayed as much unruly behaviour.

I had lost virtually all my friends, I was increasingly paranoid, socially withdrawn.

I was behind in my school work, and I wasn’t able to catch up.

By the time I was 15 I had the choice of resitting the year or joining another school out of the area 18 miles away, to be in the fourth form where nobody knew me.

So I opted to leave a pretty decent boys-only comp with a Christian ethos, to go to a mixed comp that used to be a grammar school, but which had become a third-rate egalitarian mess.

It is safe to say that I did not respond well to the lowering of educational standards. By the final term of my second attempt at being a fourth form pupil, I was ‘asked to leave’.

I left the school at the age of 16, without any experience of the fifth form. I went to the regional college for two years and completed a couple of NVQ modules in I.T.  

I spent most of my college time in the library or playing basketball in the gym.

The point here is that I am not convinced I was mentally ill.

Maybe I was, but I do not think that medication/psychiatric treatment helped me.

The major thing that helped me become a less self-destructive force was *time*.

The death of a close family member really haunted my mind, and I did not know how to deal with it.

My childish poetry turned dark and very cryptic, unfortunately, the caring adults in my life who were interpreting my private words without my permission, they were totally off the mark in concluding that my prose was a sign of me being suicidal. I was certainly crying out for help, but my words were actually full of fear about death, not a single syllable expressed a desire to die.

I wasn’t sleeping much, and prolonged lack of sleep can affect behaviour a lot,

I stopped playing football,

I stooped going on adventures,

I stopped daydreaming.

Lack of exercise can cause serious problems, especially in a child who was once very active.

Add puberty to the mix. . .

I do not think Lithium was the answer to whatever was happening. And how did the medication affect the development of my fragile brain?

I guess that question is impossible for me to ever answer.

I was lucky to have a good family GP who was close to retirement, a doctor from an older generation who was in agreement with me that I would be better off without medication.

As soon as I was eighteen he helped me gradually decrease my doses until I was on the medication no more.

I lacked a lot of confidence, but had no problem finding work with the occasional kick up the backside from my father.

After running into a few dead ends, I eventually became a cellarman/barman in an unusually well run small family pub that was slightly off the beaten track.

In my mid-twenties I moved to Manchester with my licensee certificate in hand, but instead of running a pub, I ended up working in a mind-numbing call centre on behalf of a royal Scottish bank.

By the age of 30, I was a homeowner.

On paper, things seemed good. I heard from a reliable source that my parents were proud of me.

I was unhappy. The relationship with my supposed future wife was on the rocks. I was tired of being a battery chicken trying to get people into debt. I was drinking too much. I had put on a lot of weight. I think I might have been slightly depressed.

Then one evening there was a TV show on, presented by Stephen Fry, it was about living with Bipolar Disorder (The new name for manic depression.)

I think it was on at about the same time that the disability discrimination act came into force.

I was struggling with timekeeping and discipline at work.

Home life was not happy. I was a little drunk and somehow became convinced it was a good idea to talk about my ‘mental health history’ with my partner, and to my manager at work the next day.

Things went downhill very quickly from there.

I went to a doctor, got referred to a psychiatrist.

After a 30 minute consultation, it was decided that I had a mild version of ‘Bipolar II’ And Lithium Carbonate was being prescribed to me. It didn’t agree with me, and I abruptly stopped taking it. Bad idea.

I was a mess. After about 2 years I had split with my partner, mindlessly took my name off the mortgage agreement. I struggled to stay in regular work because of my erratic self-destructive behaviour. I was on benefits for a couple of years.

Eventually, I got a job as an assistant manager, in a betting shop of all places. It was an interesting few years, but working for a morally challenged employer can eventually take its toll on one’s spirit.

This is when I ‘gave up’. I would get a sick note from my local medical centre once a month, claiming I was depressed, etc.I started claiming Employment Support Allowance and Housing Benefit because of my supposed ‘disability.’.The money was more than enough to exist on as part of a house share in a diverse student area in south-central Manchester. At some point a cannabis smoker moved into the house I was barely existing in.It didn’t become long before an occasional toke turned into a regular habit. It took a year or so, but I eventually became undoubtedly mentally ill. I was not self medicating, I smoked weed because I enjoyed smoking it, I loved getting ‘high.’  

My behavior gradually started changing for the worse over the course of about half a year. I went to doctors complaining of anxiety, panic attacks, insomnia etc. I told them about my cannabis habit too. The young funky doctor referred me to a young hip psychiatrist, who after 5 minutes of questions, decided that   Quetiapine may be the answer to my woes. I wasn’t getting any better, and I gradually stopped taking the medication. I started smoking cannabis again.    

I was under the influence of what I’ll call acute mania not long after reading ‘The Cameron Delusion.’ I am fortunate that was the last book I read before I became undeniably mentally ill.

At the height of my illness, it was like I was inside a vivid daydream like I was fast asleep and wide awake at the same time. It is hard to explain. I was aware I was ill though, I sought help. It was eventually decided I should be sectioned, and I disagreed, so a bunch of health workers accompanied by police officers came to my front door. One policeman with impeccable customer service skills informed me I would have to be restrained with cuffs for my own safety, and I was escorted into the back of a police van. The police chauffeured me to the hospital, where I became a reluctant resident/client in a locked ward for about 6 or 7 weeks.

I was forced to take a cocktail of 4 mind-altering drugs on a daily basis. A psychiatrist would see me for about five minutes, once a week. I was told after the sixth or seventh short consultation that I could be released under the condition that I carried on taking the drugs. A social worker visited me on two occasions in the two months after my release from the hospital. Assured I was taking the medication, the visits stopped. I didn’t mention to the social worker that I was gradually lowering the doses I was taking. Within days of the last visit, I had eventually weened myself of the medication completely. It took several months, but eventually, I got a job.

And I have been well, in full-time employment for about a year now, without any problems.

I don’t use cannabis anymore either of course.

And I haven’t knowingly talked to a doctor since my time in the hospital.Mind-altering drugs just do not agree with me.

#mental health #psychiatry #nhs #cannabis #lithium

[aggresivelyfriendly]

~Meet Me In The Hallway~

 Huge shout out to @emulateharry And @nocontrolforlouis for their eagle eyes and cheerleading!! 

 Chapter 4- Detour

I thought about Harry everyday while I was home, a month in someone’s bed could do that. That was the sadness of geography.It was the worst the first week home, when I hadn’t heard from him and my sleepless nights were full of reverie. I, surprisingly, missed tour.

When my brother had first broached, well, insisted, that I go on tour with him, I had looked at the months-long break scheduled between April and June with relish. I was excited to get home and check in with my friends from secondary school. I had plans and I was ready to tell them all about my big gap year adventure.

But being home was not nearly as exciting as I had hoped it would be. I didn’t have as many friends to share with as I thought and many of the things I mot wanted to share, I could not. When we had first left for the road, I had been excited, but nervous and unsure. I'd sat on that first plane and wondered if I would not be better off in Australia, going straight to university. The first several days on tour, maybe the first weeks had been exhausting and overwhelming and exhilarating. And I had loved it. I missed the people and the crew and the band. And I missed Harry.

Truth was, that I had underestimated how much of my day revolved around the time I spent with Harry. I'd wake up, often in his bed and lately, wrapped in his increasingly inked arms. He'd groan in my ear about being exhausted until I brow beat him out of bed and he got in the shower. I'd order his breakfast then, our breakfast, his black coffee and my milky tea, that he'd grumble about, rashers and eggs if he was hungry, oatmeal and egg whites if he was listening to Mark. I gauged his mood and made his order based upon that.

I'd wait for him to get dressed and we would eat together on the couch in his suite before I scrounged up clothes which were usually my own mixed with his. Then he'd walk me to the door and kiss my forehead when he hugged me goodbye, as though there was more that a couple hours that separated us.

I'd wander across the hallway, ignoring the sock and the scantily-clad girl often in my brother's bed. I'd shower and go out to see wherever we were. Since our conversation about what Harry felt he was missing, I’d try to see whatever city we'd been in through his eyes. My phone would buzz often with his random thoughts and horrible jokes. And I'd send him pictures of the places I went, trying my best to experience the place for both of us.

In Glasgow, the second time around, I sent him snapshots of Buchanan Street and selfies from the Art Lover's house. His reactions were wonderful. He would send back pictures of his silly faces. When I showed him the pub I was sat in he made a pun

“Hey where did my Glas Go?” He wrote.

So I sent him a picture of my boisterous response with the caption, “People are staring at me!”

“Course they are” He returned. And it made heart flutter. It was flirty and I couldn’t reckon whether I should chalk it up to his personality, or the way we related to each other now, or, my hope, something more.

His respones were more than flirty. They carried an air of jealousy.

“Ah, I’ve always wanted to go there…” One read as I walked the cobbled royal mile. I knew that.

“Have a black russian for me!”

“Gross!” Was my caption as I dutifully sent a picture back to him of me swilling the vodka back.

“Really?” his disbelief was full.

“I don’t like alcohol, really.” I returned. He knew that, I thought.

“Well, you have to like it in Scotland. It’s a rule. I’m surprised you aren’t being forced to drink whiskey. I’ve wanted to try that too, have some for me.” He hadn’t mentioned whiskey before and I was going to count my dues paid.

I wanted to tell him these were not the places I would choose, but where I thought he'd want to go. I would have seen the cathedral's stained glass, not the drinks from some pub on Buchanan Street. In Dublin, I went to the Guinness factory, though I loathed the dark brew, because he and Niall had blathered on about it on the ride back to the hotel one time.

After my Harry inspired tours. I'd join the boys at the arena. I'd do the crazy hair the boys favored, with enough hairspray to hopefully withstand their water fights and try to even out their skin tones before they told me to fuck off. The water fights seemed to be a catching affliction. The 1D boys had started them too, and Lou was bemoaning her fate as she watched them destroy her work side stage. I heard the ‘fuck’s sake’ under her breath and chuckled. I’d given up that fight.

While my brother warmed up the crowd who made it early enough to catch them, I’d stay backstage. I told myself that I had watched them a lifetime's worth. I'd watch Harry ride around on a Segway, imagining his front to my back. I missed the length of him against me when the sun was out and more as it waned.  

What would it feel like to have his front pressed to my back in daylight while we squealed and chased Niall around?

Then during my favorite part of the day, I'd watch the big show. I knew my focus always drifted to Harry from side stage, but I figured no one was watching me, except him. He'd occasionally give me a smirk or wink, and I suppressed the thrill it would give me.

On the way back, I'd pretend to try to ride back with my brother and his band, but was easily convinced to ride with the British lads instead. Usually squished in, thigh and shoulder next to the boy who I spent most of my time preoccupied about. We'd go our separate ways then, until I was kicked out, or as was happening more often lately, I'd wander down or across or through the hallway to his door. He'd order room service and we'd talk, or watch a movie, cuddle or sleep.

Going to sleep in Harry's bed had become the best part of my day when his light snores began as soon as his head hit the pillow. I swore sometimes just the act of leaning towards the pillow put him out. His breath would rustle my hair. My days of sleeping on the other side of the bed had ended before they'd really begun. Now I smelled his shower gel and minty breath all night, and could kick off the unnecessary blanket. I didn't need any additional help staying warm. Harry's t-shirt and body heat did that plenty well.

I thought about all these things in my own bed and wished I was back there. Those were the some of the things I was missing during the break. After my serious jet lag wore off, I found it took ages to fall asleep at night. The first two days I woke up confused and alone, but I'd slept like the dead. A day of travel took three days to recover from, and I thought of the next tour legs with dread, and wonder. That first normal night home, as I was restless and cold and the bed beside me, the single bed that had no room to share, still felt big and empty. The next legs of the tour involved some horrid flights, but they also meant a shared bed. I hoped at least.

There was no telling what it would be like when we got back, what the European dates would mean,maybe Harry would have found a girlfriend, a real one, where there was no space between the two words, where there was no pause before going to bed. The kisses on the foreheads were replaced by lips and tongue and the cuddling was not mildly arousing, but a precursor to more.

I'd felt it once, well, more than once, really. But those were mostly in the morning. Those could be written off, I thought. I'd heard a lot of jokes about morning wood, being the only girl in a smelly van with grotty boys driving across vast distances, then sharing buses and hotel rooms would instruct anybody in their dirty ways. I think sometimes it was just biology. There had been a couple of times, once or twice, that I tried not to think of, when it hadn't been morning.

Once, it had been after a rom-com, my choice, on the couch, and a shared plate of fries. There had been a bit of a food fight and Harry had wound up pressing me down into the bed. His slim thighs notching between my own as he forced salty potatoes into my laughing mouth.

"Eat it!" he'd ordered. "I dare you to tell me they have better fries down under."

I'd shook my head, pushing against him, but he was so much stronger and inches taller, so I just kept my mouth shut. When he had reached up to tickle my sides, the battle had been lost, and the fries and his fingers had found my mouth.

"Eat em," his command was softer then, and I'd complied, a little out of breath myself. My lips had closed around his fingers, sucking the salt as he pulled them away. I'd chewed the mushed fries and become conscious of where he was pressed into me, along me.

He seemed aware too, or his anatomy was. I could feel him, thick and growing against my heat. It felt different to when I'd fumbled in the back of cars after dates. It felt better.

"Good?" He'd asked, retracting his hips and coloring pink.

I'd nodded, not trusting my voice and let him excuse himself to the bathroom. My mind had followed him in there, and I'd used my limited knowledge to fill in my imagination's wish. I closed my eyes and watched him stroke himself and bit my own lip as I hoped he bit his. My hand wandered over my breast and my right palm had slid down over the soft cotton of his t-shirt I was wearing.

But, the bathroom door had opened too soon and I'd spent the night frustrated. I'd curled my body into Harry's andhe fell asleep even faster  found myself wriggling like a fish on a hook. I nearly straddled his leg. But the thought of explaining myself, of why I was riding his thigh, kept me to myself. And the humid feel between my legs finally faded enough for me to sleep.

Another night, I'd woken to a firm friction along my backside and stretched back into it. I could tell Harry was still asleep, so I catalogued the feel of him. He murmured in his sleep and said my full name, one he never had used before. It slipped from his mouth. "Melody," he breathed into my hair. I was so charged up, surprised maybe, that I had to get up and go to the bathroom, I sat on my hands in the cold bathroom and forbid myself from touching between my legs in his presence.

He was dreaming, and I was the only girl he was around. I told myself this and more - that he hadn't been laid in months, because he was spending his time with me; that we had developed a friendship, but he was a 19 year old boy wrapped around a nearly 19 year old girl, and his physiology overruled his sense. He was sleeping, it meant nothing.

Except to me.

I missed all these things about him.

It was the end of our first week home when I heard from Harry.

My phone buzzed with a picture of his new bedroom in his new London house. “I think I hate sleeping alone here," he said.

"I can’t sleep either," I'd replied.

"Course not. It's morning for you."

"No, last night. Doofus."

"You just miss sleeping with me."

I tried to cover my blushing response with my usual armor of humor. "That's the thing, I figured I'd be able to catch up on all that sleep your snoring robbed me of."

"You love it."

I scoffed to hide my blush, because, oh god, I did.

#harry styles #Harry Styles fanfiction #Harry Styles fanfic #Harry Styles imagine #meet me in the hallway #mmith #chapter 4 #detour

[mubal4]

“This is pure snow!” – Charles De Mar, Better off Dead

 Not sure why this quote above comes to mind when I see snow, but it does, and I giggle.  This past Saturday, this quote entered my head often, I giggled, but then it got old. It was just everywhere :O.  Snow? In Arizona? In late May?  Yep – in the high country there was a ton of it.  The “plan” was to head up to Flagstaff to hike Humphrey’s Peak on Saturday, spend the night up there camping in a Yurt, get a good run in Sunday morning at altitude, and head home before noon.  Humphrey’s is the highest point in AZ, sitting just above 12,500’.  We’ve been up to Flagstaff a number of times, but I’ve never hiked Humphrey’s.  We did some of the San Francisco peaks that it resides in during the Stagecoach 100 race a few years ago but never got to the summit.  With the high elevation, climbing race coming up in July, figured this was a great opportunity to get some good training in.  However, just like most times, when you have a plan developed, it won’t be long until you get punched in the face.  (based on the pictures you can probably tell where this story is going 😊)  

 Friday night I got things all packed up, gear, snacks, water, clothes, wood, etc.  It was going to be low 30’s in the AM and warm up to about 68* during the day.  However, I was going to be above 8,000 feet most of the climb and it was scheduled to be windy.  When I was lining up the final details on the yurt, the dude that helped me indicated that above 11,000’ there is quite a bit of snow.  At that point I thought it was cool but didn’t pay it much attention to his words, but I did to some recon.  Sure enough, the forest service was saying that Humphrey’s Trail was closed & the road leading to the trail head was also closed (this should have been another hint 😊).  However, I was able to find Weatherford Trail that leads up to Humphrey’s, it would just be a longer day and more miles.  Figured I would be on the road by 7am and hiking by 9-930am.  About an hour into the drive Saturday morning, I was thinking about camping, the yurt, and hanging out by a fire under the stars; got pretty excited too, until I realized that I forgot my sleeping bag, blankets, and no warm clothes other than a sweatshirt.  “Oh shit, that will make things inconvenient.” Oh well, I had the hike to do first and would deal with that aspect later.  When I got to Weatherford trail head the sun was shining but it was windy and a little chilly.  I talked to Robin to let her know I was starting and off I went, shorts, t-shirt, long-sleeve, trail shoes, poles, and vest with some goodies. The climb up, as you can see from some of the pictures, was beautiful.  The views were great, the trail was in good shape, the Aspens were colorful, and you could smell the pines.  There were not many people out at this time but was able to catch up to this dude, Dylan, and we shared some miles for an hour or so.  We were moving at a good clip and climbing, but had not problems with the altitude, which was good.  I stopped a few times to take pictures and soak in the views as Dillon kept moving. It was just over 6 miles from the trail head to Doyle Saddle.  This is from where I took the title picture.  You can see Dylan off to the right enjoying a snack and Humphrey’s peak just over his head. It looks smaller because it is farther off in the distance.  We basically had to hike the face of the first peak, then switchback up the second peaks face then climb to the top of Humphrey’s.  You can’t make it out in the picture but from this spot you can see parts of the switchbacks and some of the trail across the face of the peak to Humphrey’s.  Sure, you can see the snow but at this point we had no idea what we were in store for. What’s crazy is on the drive up, coming into Flagstaff, you are looking right at the western slope of this range – very little snow.  Once I hit this saddle though, I was amazed at how much this opposite slope had. Then we got to experience it firsthand 😊!

 As Dylan finished up his snack, I got moving down the trail from Doyle saddle.  One of the pictures has a shot of the trail with snow to the left. This was like corridor with snow on one side where the trail continued to get smaller and smaller until there was no more trail, just footprints in the snow.  I stopped for a minute to wait for Dylan because he had done this hike before and was looking for his guidance.  When he caught up, I should have taken another hint, he had put on another layer of clothing and micro spikes on his shoes.  Meanwhile, I am standing there with t-shirt, shorts, and running shoes.  WTF?  We started moving forward, following the tracks in the snow, and estimated there to be about 6-10 feet in certain parts; yes, feet.  There were some sections, specially where there was avalanche areas that we think it may have been 15 feet deep. Dylan was a life saving for the next hour or so. We shared our stories, a few laughs, some frustration from the snow, potholing, and sliding.  A couple times, specially walking through 3 separate avalanche chutes, where our hind quarters puckered up.  There is one picture looking up at one of the chutes.  Yeah – dumbass me stopped in the middle, on the way through to snap that one – not a bright idea 😊.  After about an hour, where we covered a little over 1 MILE!!! Yes, it took 48 minutes to go one mile we hit a trail intersection.  Dylan said this was the last point where we would be able to bail out before hitting Humphrey’s Trail.  Once we hit Humphrey’s we would be good on the switchbacks but traversing the face of that 2nd peak was walking, what we can only assume because of so much snow, a glacier and we weren’t equipped for that today.  Dylan decided to bail and after climbing up an embankment of snow that was higher than the trail sign, we said our goodbyes. I came up to get to the top so I was at least going to try to see how far I can get so I kept moving forward. At this point, I was just on top of feet of snow and following the footprints. I made it another quarter/maybe half mile from where Dylan and I split, and the tracks ended.  I was about 2 miles and roughly 1,000’ feet from the summit. Unfortunately, I had to turn back. It wasn’t safe to go on, especially by myself, considering the conditions and not knowing what I was in store for. Figured I could try it again next month and definitely in August when I believe the snow will be gone.

 So, I turned back and was thinking about what route to take; follow Dylan’s path or trudge back the way we came originally; through more snow, more avalanche chutes, more sliding, more puckering 😊.  I decided to go the original way and this time that mile or so took me 53 minutes.  It was crazy but just couldn’t rush it because of safety and the deep ass snow!  When I finally got back to Doyle saddle it was incredibly happy to see dry ground. At this point, my feet were soaked and cold, my legs were all cut up, and I was beginning to get a headache (likely b/c I hadn’t eating).  So, I took a little spell, shoved a Clif Bar into my head and got ready to run this bitch back down to the car.  I was a bit disappointed that we didn’t get to the summit but was happy to know that I would be heading into town to Mother Road Brewery to pick up a case of Tower Station IPA, so I had that going for me which was nice.  At this time, Doyle saddle had a bunch of people just chilling out; some setting up camp, some grabbing lunch, and another group that was cordially enjoying a nice toke on the peace pipe 😊.  Even though we were spread out on top of that mountain the smell of cannabis filled the air and gave me a little pep as I started to descend; either that or the Clif Bar 😊.  The run back down was uneventful but incredibly scenic.  Some awesome views, passed a bunch of nice folks going up and down, connected with Robin on the adventure to that point and began thinking about freezing my ass off in the yurt over night or just heading back down to Phoenix.  When I got to the trail head, I had already decided it would be best to head home.  It was a longer day than I anticipated but could still be home by 7pm and have dinner with the family.  As I got cleaned up and packed the car, a truck slowly drove by, we both waved, but I couldn’t see the face.  They turned around, pulled up next to me, rolled down the window, and – it was Dylan. Had just gotten back himself and I thanked him profusely for helping me out up there.  He saw me come out of the trail head and knew I came down the way we went up.  He regretted his route and thought he should have done the same as me; it would have been good to have some company on the way down!  Overall, it was a great training day and awesome time on feet.  The adventure was epic, and I am already lining up dates in a few weeks to try it again.  Hopefully in August I can get at least Robin, if not the whole family (and Bear) to join me on the shorter route 😊.

 It certainly didn’t go as planned but did get in a good day and scored my case of Mother Road IPA!  After I picked up the case, I called Robin and told her I was headed home. She and the girls were going to order some pizza’s and have them for me when I got there.  We spent the night on the patio, having some slices, a few beers, and a great night together.  Until next time Mr. Humphrey – I will get to ya; in the meantime, let’s enjoy the pictures.

#AZhighcountry Flagstaff HumphreysPeak thisispuresnow holyshitthatsdeep

[zombiesbecrazy]

Five Times With Feeling - Part 5/5

Summary: It wasn’t like Barbara had never watched Buffy without Dick, but it definitely wasn’t the same without his running commentary beside her.

Or four times Dick and Barbara watched Buffy the Vampire Slayer together and one time they didn’t.

Written for @batfamcontentwar ​‘s #halloweencontentwar

ao3  Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4

Part 5 - After the Crime Syndicate

“What you watching, Red?”

Jason’s voice interrupted Barbara’s train of thought as she stared at the screen, trying to find what she was looking for. She looked up to see Jason and Tim come into the room, carrying soft drinks and bowls of snacks. “Nice shirt, by the way.”

Barbara smiled and looked down at her grey and blue Nightwing t-shirt. Dick had bought it for her one day a few months ago when they had been wandering around downtown, trying to decide on a place to have lunch.  He had seen it in the window of one of those touristy shops that a local Gothamite wouldn’t normally be caught dead in, full of knick knacks and cheap souvenirs. He had dragged her inside, saying that she definitely needed a shirt of her favourite vigilante and feigned the appropriate amount of indignation when she said that she didn’t see any Black Canary memorabilia anywhere in the shop. He bought it for her anyway, grumbling about not being able to compete with the fishnets.  

It had been a good day.

Now the shirt seemed like an appropriate homage to Dick on what felt like one of the worst days of her life. It had been a few hours since his funeral and she couldn’t bring herself to leave the manor. She could have gone home but didn’t want to have to give Frankie or Alysia half truths about how she was feeling or a full rundown of their relationship history, so she stayed put. She had wandered around the manor for a bit, consciously avoiding Dick’s old room on the third floor at all costs, and now found herself in the family room, curled up on the couch under what looked like a handmade quilt, queuing up Netflix.

“I was going to watch some Buffy, but I wasn’t expecting you two to stay after the service. We can find something else if you want.”

“No, it’s perfect.” Jason plopped himself down on the couch beside her. Tim nodded and sat down on the other side of him. “Love that show.”

“Really?”

“Of course. I love a good resurrected character.” He settled a bowl of popcorn between them and stretched his legs out onto the coffee table in front of him. “The lady died twice and was still a badass. I respect that.”

Tim laughed softly, “Definitely has you beat, Jay.” Jason punched him a little harder than necessary in the shoulder, but Tim continued on, giving Barbara a smile across the couch. “Good choice for tonight. Dick made me watch this show when I started as Robin. It helped me unwind after patrolling.”

“Me too.” said Jason, “I learned how to do kip-ups from watching Buffy when I couldn’t get it figured out on my own. Bruce was pissed that he had spent weeks trying to teach me such a basic move and I could suddenly do it on my own after watching one episode with Dick.”

They looked at Barbara, who was a little surprised by these revelations. She hadn’t realized that Dick had passed on their obsession. “I made him start watching it with me. Every week since season two. First time we watched it together was in this room before a patrol.”

“So it’s your fault that we know all the words to Once More With Feeling?” said Jason, with a laugh threatening to break through his voice.

“One hundred percent. I’m glad to know that I’ve been such an influential figure on the television viewing preferences of Robins.” Barbara waved at the TV with the remote. “Anyone have an episode request?”

No one said anything for a few moments until Tim quietly asked, “What was Dick’s favourite?”

Barbara smiled and scrolled through the episode list on the screen and selected The Zeppo, catching Jason rolling his eyes.  “What? He liked Xander’s random side adventures. Plus, Jimmy Olson references.” Tim giggled and Jason grumbled something about Replacement but Barbara couldn’t tell if he was talking about Tim or the Xander body double episode. “It was either this one or Becoming and I don’t think I can handle that one right now. He was a sucker for the heartbreaking episodes too.”

Too damn close to home.

She hit play and sank back into the couch. It wasn’t like she had never watched Buffy without Dick, but it definitely wasn’t the same without his running commentary beside her.  When the theme song started playing, she felt something that could only be described as her heart imploding, until she felt a hand rest on top of her own.  She looked over and saw Jason’s sad smile as he rubbed her hand, and then at Tim, who had shifted to rest his head on Jason’s shoulder, eyes staring at the screen. Barbara readjusted her position to lean against Jason as well, getting more comfortable, and shifted the blanket so it was covering all three of them. It was nice, watching together like that.

Dick would have loved it.

Barbara didn’t have to look towards the door to know that Bruce was leaning against the frame watching her. She had heard him in the hallway earlier in the evening, checking in on the three of them, but not interrupting. Jason and Tim had just left, having watched five episodes with her (including a mandatory sing along), but they were planning on patrolling together that night and were headed out to the city.  Television was a great distraction, but while he hadn’t said it in a straight forward way, Jason wanted to grieve through violence and Tim hadn’t disagreed.

Netflix was still rolling, but she was no longer paying any attention.

“You could have watched with us.”

“I prefer Angel.”

“You would.  Creature of the night with a preference for wearing black, sticking to the shadows and always walking dramatically through double doors.”

Bruce hummed in response and entered the dim room.  He looked towards the screen that had continued onto the next episode in silence, and then sat down next to her.  He leaned forward and rested his elbows on his legs, face in his hands.  She had known the man beside her close to half of her life, but this was the first time that she thought that he looked old.  Weary and moving a little slower than usual.  And definitely like he had been repeatedly punched in the face recently. She wasn’t surprised, especially today and especially after the year he had, but she didn’t like to see it.  This was Bruce Wayne. The Batman. He was what held the city together day and night and was supposed to be indestructible.  

Until he lost one of the few things that was still holding him together.

He turned to look at her and those intense eyes burned into hers. “You were his favourite person, you know.”

She hit mute on the TV and shook her head slightly, “I think Damian would have disagreed with you about that.” The words slipped out before she could stop them and she slapped her hand to her mouth.  She couldn’t believe how stupid she was to mention Damian on today of all days; on the day that he buried his second son in as many months. It was something that they had all been tip toeing around knowing that Bruce had not been dealing well with Damian’s death well at all.  She didn’t want to think about what was going to happen now that Dick’s funeral was over.

“Perhaps.” His voice sounded emotionless and Barbara couldn’t tell if that was because it was trying to detach himself to hold onto some semblance of strength or if he was just exhausted and didn’t have any feelings left right now. She knew he wasn’t the stone wall that people often accuse him of being; he just couldn’t always express it the way that other’s thought he should. He cared so much that it sometimes just came out ‘wrong’.

Sadness sometimes just looked like anger in the wrong clothes.

Barbara shifted so that her position mirrored his and leaned in a little closer, but still far enough apart that they weren’t touching. “I also think you are selling yourself short in the ranking of Dick’s people.”

“I was his guardian, not his friend.”

“If he were here Dick would be arguing that you were both.”

She knew she was right and she hoped that Bruce knew that too, even if he wouldn’t admit it.  She had been there to see the evolution of their relationship and she knew that it was a mixture of father and son, brothers, partners, friends and colleagues.  Sometimes it was the combination of those dynamics that caused friction (to the point of explosion), but they always would be there for each other when it really mattered. Even in the end, it was Bruce that Dick had wanted with him, not anyone else.

“Maybe, unless we were having one of our bad weeks.  But he loved you Barbara. Since the beginning. That love changed as you grew up but you were always what you needed to be for each other. Dick’s heart always led his actions, for better or for worse. It was always going to lead him back to you.” Bruce swallowed and rubbed his eyes.  He just looked like the stress of it all was burying him. “Magnetic pull.”

“We weren’t together.”

“Doesn’t change anything I said.”

“Maybe if I had gone with him to Chicago we wouldn’t been sitting here now. If I had just followed him there…” That had been running through her mind a lot for the past few days. Maybe if she had been there in Chicago, he wouldn’t have come back. Something might have stopped him from being captured by the Crime Syndicate and then this whole mess could have been avoided. She had heard enough about timelines from speedsters over the years to know that just one change could alter lives dramatically.

Thinking about fate was an overwhelming thing when you were already depressed.

“Neither of you were ready for that.”

“He told you?”

“Most things. Not sure he always realized how much he told me. Chatterbox.” He gave the smallest of shrugs, “He talked. I listened.”

“And grunted.” He grunted at her in response and they both smiled a little at each other. “I don’t really blame myself.  I just wish we made different choices sometimes. I wonder how we ended up here.”

“Don’t we all.”  Bruce was looking at a row of photos that were on the bookcase against the wall. All of the photos in this room were pictures of the family that Bruce had built rather than the one that he had been born into. Nearly all of them had Dick in them - by himself, or group shots with Bruce, Alfred, Jason, Tim or Damian, and she saw herself in a few as well.  The one that Barbara had always found herself drawn to was one from when Dick must have been about nine years old, getting a piggyback ride from Bruce.  It looked like a candid shot, probably taken by Alfred, and Bruce was grinning over his shoulder to look at Dick, who was clearly roaring with laughter.  There was something about it that was just so Dick.

Barbara placed her hand on Bruce’s forearm. “He loved you, too.”

“I know. Probably more than he should.”

“You were his dad.”

“I wasn’t. Not really.”

“You were in every way that mattered.  At least to him.” She brushed her fingers lightly against his arm and his eyes snapped back to hers and there was something there that she just couldn’t place. “He told me so many times that he was lucky that he had the chance to have two amazing fathers, when some kids don’t even get one. He was shattered when we thought you were dead. That he had lost another father.” He cast his eyes back to the floor, without Barbara having figured out what he was thinking about. “He’d do anything for you. You know that.”

“I’m gravely aware of that.”

It was one of those times that she had had over the years that she got the feeling that while she was talking to Bruce, they were having two drastically different conversations. Sometimes she called him on it, sometimes she looked into it later, but this felt like one of the few times that she was just going to let it rest. She didn’t need to know what Bruce was actually talking about if he wasn’t going to volunteer the information. Not today.

“Are you going out tonight?”

“No.” Batgirl and Barbara both needed a night off, which is why she hadn’t gone out with Tim and Jason. Her mind wasn’t in the game and she couldn’t afford to make a mistake in the field and get hurt. “Do you mind if I stay here?”

“Not if you don’t mind some company. I’m staying in too. It’s my pick now, though.” Barbara reached over to the end table and pulled out a bag of M&M’s and tossed them to Bruce. He grinned at her and grabbed the remote, hit a few buttons and the screen changed, and Barbara burst out laughing as words started scrolling on the screen.

Dick’s other viewing obsession was apparently up next for tonight.

“You may have got him hooked on Buffy, but I introduced him to Star Wars first. And he dressed up as Luke Skywalker for Halloween three years in a row. I win.”

“Dick was the best of us. We all got to win.”

#halloweencontentwar #barbara gordon #jason todd #tim drake #bruce wayne #day 6