#mess of a post mess of a life but we stay silly etc

[nerice]

GOOD MORNING KYOTO I HAVE BRAIN DAMAGE /PIECE OF SHIT

#HOO BOY. BREATHES OUT #i have a million gripes with that jjks ep ngl (the AUDACITY. OF CUTTING AWAY TO THE KUSAKABE SHIT BUT WHATEVER) #but grabbing screencaps just yeeted me into another dimension where i did not spend the entire last day crying #as if i did not have a dream abt wanting to draw so bad & not being able to stop myself #even tho i knew in dream logic the next time wld irreparably break my wrist #SHIT SUCKS SO BAD. BUT THERE'S ALWAYS OC PROJECTION EVEN IN THE DARKEST OF NIGHTS #(<guy who literally set a 4am local time alarm to watch that episode. w) #mess of a post mess of a life but we stay silly etc #elia txts #the sukuna angles in that ep also took me the fuck out in an unexpected but obv direction. alas one projection zone at a time!!!!

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Follow You Anywhere 1

No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as dubcon/noncon, obsession, controlling behavoiour, and other possible triggers. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: You're online existence threatens to leak into your real life.

Characters: Captain Syverson

Note: I couldn't help myself.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me <3

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!)

Love you all. You are appreciated and your are worthy. Treat yourself with care. 💖

"So... this is what it looks like today?" You aim your camera at the sky outside your window, "sorry, the screen is kinda in the way."

You let out a nervous chuckle and flip the camera to yourself. You make a silly face. You were never overly fond of your image on the screen but the vlogs help. Like a little diary, mostly for yourself. You and your seven followers on Insta.

You bat your lashes and fix the clip in your hair, "oh, I got this free. Yeah, I bought a new hair oil and they threw this in the bag." You let your thoughts run wild from your tongue. You found a journal too daunting, the blank lines leaving you just as empty. This is easier. "Anyway, I shouldn't have spent the money to begin with."

You give another splintered laugh. The one you let out when you're anxious, or scared, or happy, or even mad.  You bite your lip and catch yourself in your digitized reflection. You stop and turn your camera to your bedroom.

"Today, I'm gonna clean this mess. Me and you guys together."

You scour the room with the lens. Your laundry is piled on the floor and you have a stack of books you need to put on the shelf. It isn't the worst it's been but it's getting cluttered.

"But first, we'll have breakfast, can't start the stream on an empty stomach," you chirp and nearly drop the phone, "oops, uh..." You fix your grip and check the number in the corner. You have one viewer; on a good day, it's three, most days, it's just you talking to the void.

You go into the kitchen, just down the short hall from your bedroom, opening into your living room. You go to the counter and prop up the phone so the camera is on you again. You tap your fingers and hum.

"What should we have for breakfast?" You ask. You don't feel as crazy talking to yourself even if there's really no one watching. "Oo, French toast. Gotta use up the eggs."

You go to the fridge and pull out the eggs and the milk. You bring them back to the counter, shuffling around for a bowl, a whisk, and the cinnamon.

You mix up your ingredients and dip the bread, one piece at a time. You put on a skillet and fry up the slices, presenting a stack of three to the camera. You smile and dust some icing sugar over the top.

“Probably shouldn't have all this sugar for breakfast,” you shrug at the camera, “alright, quick break…” 

You put the stream onto the ‘back soon’ page and take your plate to the small foldout table against the wall. You're not a fan of eating on camera. You finish and rinse up before snatching your phone up again.

You return to your bedroom and put the phone on a middle shelf and flip the stream back to live. Still that one viewer…

“Anyway, I'm back,” you wave at the lens.

You hesitate, looking around as you stand straight and spin. Cleaning, right. Before you can set to work, the phone dings.

A message?

You go back to your phone and squint at the chat bubble floating up.

‘Looked delicious too.’

“It was,” you agree with a grin, “thanks.”

‘Don't mean the toast.’

The next message has you blinking. Your nape burns. They can't mean… you clear your throat and giggle.

“Well, let's get started,” you back up and clap your hands, “you know, I've been so carried away with work. This place is a pigsty.”

You sit on the floor and sort through the clothes. You toss them into the basket as you sit in silence. You stop yourself and glance at the phone.

“How about some tunes?” 

You walk on your knees to your bedside and turn on your bluetooth speaker. You go to your phone and find a playlist before pulling the stream back to full screen. As you do, you hear a noise you've never heard before.

‘BourbonBear has tipped.’ Huh? Really?

“Oh, thanks, er, BourbonBear,” you giggle around the name, “how nice. Maybe one day I can afford a proper camera for this, huh?”

You smile and go back to the dirty clothes. You quickly ball up a pair of panties and shove them in the basket. You carry on until they're all untangled.

You move on and tidy your desk, bending underneath to gather up a few loose pens. You make your way around the bedroom, putting away books, fixing the blankets on the bed, and straightening the little figurines on the shelf above the bed.

You grab the stick vacuum and suck up the dirt and proclaim your task done. It took a lot longer than you thought. It's after eleven. The one viewer is still there.

“Whew, okay, I'm gonna get myself washed up and go to the park. Maybe I'll post that later,” you give a thumbs up next to your head as you talk to the phone, “thank you.”

You end the stream and let out a sigh. Your videos aren't much and you doubt they're very interesting but it's like venting for you. Almost like having an invisible friend. You think you will take some pictures of the flowers to share.

🧸

You take your usual path through the park. The walks help you unwind your worries. You try to come after work at least a couple days during the week and both days on the weekend. You find the mindlessness of the routine to be calming.

The deeper you get into the wooded length of the path, you slow to admire the birds in the branches and the critters crawling in the brush. You take out your phone and snap a few photos of a blue jay before it wings away shyly. You smile and flip the cam, smiling as you take a goofy selfie. You can add that to your post.

The path winds ahead and you follow it in the din, listening to the river just down the incline to your left and the tweeting from the sky. You lift your face and inhale the woodsy scent. The sudden crack of a twig startles you and you spin to face the noise. There's no one there. Sometimes you forget other people are free to just walk on through.

You chuckle at yourself and continue on. The path leads out to a suburban street where you like to look at the houses. They're much more spacious and pretty than your grimy brick apartment building.

You come out from the shade of the trees and wander along the avenue. There's a mailbox painted to look like the house it stands before and a little nook for second hand children's books to be borrowed through the neighbourhood. Sometimes you picture yourself living in one of those houses though you don't think it could ever truly be.

As you crane your head, you sense a shadow in your peripheral. You're walking a bit slow. You sidle to the side to get out of the way of the other pedestrian. When no one passes, you look back. No one.

You must be imagining things. You shrug and plod along. You're already thinking of what kind of tea you'll have when you get in.

🧸

You sit down with your mug of ginger citrus tea and set to editing your post. You add a light filter to the photos as you shuffle through them on your laptop. The process is slow as the computer is nearly five years old now and chuffing on its 4GB drive. You get to the selfie you snapped, a stop.

You lean in to get a better glimpse of the background. It's fuzzy but there's a figure just over your shoulder. How could that be? You looked and there was no one there. That's so strange.

You stare as a chill courses through you. You're thankful you hadn't put your earphones in. You wouldn't have heard whoever it was and they may have even snuck up on you. Or maybe it's just a trick of the light.

You hit ‘post’ and try to shake off the foreboding. It's nothing. You're being silly. Besides, you're home and safe now. Next time, you'll be more alert.

A message pops up. You stare at the dot over the chat bubble. You tap with your thumb and bring up the DMs.

'Stream tonight?' BourbonBear asks.

You tilt your head. You already did some today. You're tired and want to lie down and enjoy your time off. You type back 'sorry, not tonight. tomorrow <3' and another notification vibrates. A comment on your latest post.

'Pretty sweater', also from BourbonBear. You heart their comment and leave a thanks below.

You flip back to the selfie. You can't really see your sweater in the picture, just the scalloped knitting of the collar. Well, you suppose it does look cute. You put your phone down and leave it on your desk. That's enough Insta for today.

🧸

You time your shopping trip for the least busy hour. It's early and the store is almost empty except for employees stacking bread on shelves or wandering listlessly around the deli. You have your phone in the basket of the cart, aimed at you as you roll it along slowly and check your list.

The stream is just as empty. It's only just started but you don't expect too many people to be up at this hour. You stop and grab a loaf of sourdough, checking the date before showing it to the lens and putting it in the cart. You smile and announce the next item.

"Strawberries... you know I was thinking I might get raspberries instead," you say, catching the eye of one of the yawning employees. You must seem like a weirdo. It's why you typically don't film in public.

As you roll around to the fruit, you notice the count change. One viewer. You choose a basket of raspberries and show those. You see a message float up; morning.

You smile and return the greeting softly and place the berries down carefully beside your phone. You need yogurt to go with the berries.

You work down the list, making some substitutes as you tick off each item. You linger in the ice cream section a bit too long and talk yourself out of a gallon of rocky road. You lean on the handle of the cart and smile down at the lens.

"Going to check out," you say, "see you all later."

All? There's still just the one. You end the stream and take your phone out of the basket.

You wheel around to checkout and line up at the only open till. You put your items up as you greet the cashier with a smile. She seems tired as she gives a dull response.

As you put the yogurt on the belt, you sense someone join the queue behind you. You glance over as a large man stands only feet away. He's tall and burly and staring at you. Maybe he heard you talking to your audience, or he would think, yourself. You continue to unload your groceries.

"Never tried those," he comments as you take out a box of strawberry Pocky.

You pause and hold them up, chuckling nervously, as you do.

"Pretty good," you answer, "I eat way too many."

You notice the man doesn't have a basket or a cart. That realisation needles under your skin. Maybe he's just getting lotto or smokes?

"You like sweet stuff."

"Too much," you squeak even though it doesn't sound like a question.

He just stares, not saying a word. You swallow tightly and pull the last few items out of the cart and get behind it to wheel it through the lane. As you do, he looms closely, adding to the sweat gathering on your lower back.

You roll along and wait for the cashier to ring through the rest of your things. She bags them up neatly in two large paper bags. You pay with your card and thank her as you lift the first into your cart. The man behind you moves forward and grabs the second, startling you.

"Got it," he says as he places it with the other, squeezing by you, crowding you.

"Oh, excuse me, sir," you stammer, "oh," you lean on the cart to roll it to the end of the lane as you make space between you and the stranger. "Thanks, er, uh... thanks."

You turn and grab the handle, jittering. He's really weirding you out. Especially as you realise he's walked right by the cashier. He's following you.

"I can help get ‘em in your car," he offers in a drawl.

"Oh, that's alright, I... bus," you cringe as you realise you've said too much.

"I could drive you. I have a truck."

"No thank you," you walk faster, the cart rattling with your pace.

"Why not?"

"I don't know you, erm, sorry--"

"You don't?" He catches up and shoves his phone in your face, your Insta profile glaring back at you, "I paid for the milk, maybe the berries..."

"What?" You stop, just by the door and turn to him. "I don't--"

"You haven't eaten, have you? I'll take you for French toast. That's your favourite."

"Um," you blink at him as your eyes tinge, "I don't..."

"You got me through a hard campaign, just wanna say thank you," he adjusts his cap and you notice the pin on it. He's a veteran. Oh, 'campaign'. 

“Just got back home," he shifts on his feet, a meek gesture for such a large man, "and... your videos helped me remember it. Helped me hold onto it in the sh-- in the stuff."

"I... wow, okay, that's... I'm glad I could do that."

"I really don't mind giving you a ride. Lots of weirdos on the bus," he insists.

"That's nice but--"

"Please," he softens his tone, "been a while since I sat down and had breakfast without worrying about the sky falling."

You shudder and grip the cart tight. You don't know how to say no. You didn't think about who was watching. You always just assumed they were bots. Then you think of the chaching noise and the amount flashing on the screen.

"BourbonBear?" You ask.

"Yeah," he cracks a crooked smile and smooths his hand over his thick beard. "Everyone calls me Syv.”

#dark!captain syverson #fic #dark fic #dark!fic #series #follow you anywhere #sandcastle #captain syverson #dark captain syverson #captain syverson x reader

[allsadnshit]

Those 35mm photos are beautiful! If you don’t mind, and sorry if you’ve answered this before, but would you mind sharing how you and your husband met? You two have a beautiful relationship

oh jeez everyone knows this is my favorite question lol

my husband and I met through being tumblr mutuals when we were probably around 17! we lived in the same state but still 6 hours apart so we never thought of each other as a tangible person to know and meet, it was truly just a silly little internet friendship liking each other's posts and occasionally messaging about little things like books we were reading or music we listened to but never anything lengthy or personal.

that went on for like 7-8 years, sometimes not talking for a long period of time because we really were just internet friends! then when I was 24, before my endometriosis diagnostic surgery, I was at my absolute sickest I'd ever been. pretty much totally house-ridden and also in a really transitional moment because I had just finally had a long term very not fulfilling relationship end + was processing a lot alone quarantined in my house because covid lockdowns just started. I had a conversation with a really close friend where I said I felt like I had always just been dating passively in relation to who was close by and never really on "dream person" levels and she asked who I'd hit up if I could date anyone and Myles was who came to mind to me! So the next time he dm'd me on ig about something silly like complimenting my new shoes I posted I flirted for the first time and he responded enthusiastically and we realized we had always quietly had little crushes on each other!

we talked every day for like a month while I moved to a new short term lease and went through lots of urgent care visits figuring out my next moves medically, and he decided we couldn't wait any longer to meet so he bought a car and drove 5 hours to pittsburgh in the night after work one weekend and we met outside my new apartment that had no furniture yet at 1 am and spent the whole night talking. we knew we were very very in love right away, and even though that first weekend ended with him having to take me to the ER from extreme pain that turned out to be from constipation because of how truly nervous I was LOL he came back a week or two later and stayed full week! at the end of that week we decided he'd move in with me for the rest of my 6 month lease while I got surgery then moved to philly to finish his lease together.

myles and I both hadn't ever really been in a relationship so serious or passionate so it was really really scary at times when we fought or felt like we would mess things up with each other but we both dug really deep to learn how to talk to each other in a way we had never communicated with anyone else and touched some really important parts of ourselves to really get to know one another's fears and desires and eloped a little over a year after meeting!

he's totally changed my understanding how much you can trust, depend on, or love someone. it's opened me up to healing in every other part of my life (going to therapy, having big talks my family, starting new careers, etc) <3

[theboytatu]

anon back from a week ago re: bbh being a messy bitch who likes drama and his ability to shape his fans opinions. still would love your take on this topic if you don't mind

i am sooo sorry omg i have the attention span of an alcoholic toddler!!!! yes ok so I don't have that many examples on hand because i'm not a library of exo content, all my bookmarks on twt are a mess ugh

but re: manipulation and what i would actually call being an expert at exploiting an atmosphere but everyone else calls being an attention whore

exhibit A: him "drunk texting" fans on bubble during exo fanmeet in april. mind you this was right in the middle of the legal battle with SM which we had no idea about at the time. fans were so emotional - first exo performance as a full group in over 3 years, baekhyun fresh off his military life, yadda yadda yadda - he was pretty drunk from the post concert dinner the group had. yet later we found out idols need to review messages THREE TIMES before sending anything on bubble lmao 😭 i'm not saying he was faking it - i'm saying even drunk he knew exactly what these texts were gonna do to the fans. he is that good at riling people up like that + preemptively digging his parasocial nails into the fandom cause he knew shit was about to hit the fan.... I love his mind

exhibit B: the most recent example and something that had me crawling up the walls. i'm not saying he faked it or that he planned to fall asleep on purpose during a livestream, i completely believe baekhyun is careless and overworked enough to do that. what makes me scream into a pillow is the way he was UNFAZED by that shit when he woke up. had his manager blowing up his phone asking him to wake up and +40k people hearing him moan in his sleep and he woke up and stayed in the livestream. FOR 30 MORE MINUTES. he laughed it off and started joking teasing people etc etc like he genuinely dgaf.

might I add this pattern of starting twitter lives early in the morning only started after the comeback which i think is very interesting. i dont think its a coincidence at all but i need to gather my thoughts on that

exhibit C: not manipulative per se but this fucking clip is so insane to me i love how the worst things happened to exo completely unprompted it's like seeing an episode of the office. anyway baekhyun taking one for the team and distracting fans with his silly little dance.. THAT'S RIGHT HE'S THE GUY THAT STEPPED UP. and i think it showcases his quick thinking and social skills perfectly cause the rest of these men were frozen in place with half their asses out but baek just took it like a champ lol. he just wants to be seen <3 and told he's done a good job <3 give him all the praises please

exhibit D: this horrible fucking live. just baekhyun as a whole in superm.... like he's not dumb he knew nctzens were eating him up and shipping him w taeyong and what did he do? he went ahead and gave them exactly what they wanted.. while wrapping taeyong around his little finger might I add. now i think irl baekhyun and taeyong aren't that close, they're like those friends from work that you genuinely like but it's not someone you would seek out outside of pretty specific social settings. but baekhyun isn't fucking stupid he knew nctzens were a segment of kpop fans he could tap into and either turn into his own fans or he could get slapped in the face by exols turning on him.

anyways this is so fucking long im sorry to ppl following me i'm on mobile and can't make a read more. no one cares about the weird things i only notice about baekhyun but yes there's more to it i just dont have links for most things... but there's not a lot of specific examples idk once you notice it you just watch content with baekhyun and it becomes pretty clear.

#asks #baekhyun

[astrojoy]

Energy really does matter

I don't know if I made a post on this before or wrote it and then deleted it but just in case ima make this and add it to my extra list ig

Whatever energy you put out can effect your environment, the people around you, everything really

True Example

My neighbor is very kind, being a spychic medium (not even that it's needed) you can really feel how positive this man's energy is. He has a genuine vibe. He shows love to all his animals and his overall home and land. He takes care of his plants and even grows some. He is what you would think a kind elder man is. Cracking some jokes from time to time and staying positive/hopeful

My grandmother, on the other hand, is the exact opposite. An alcoholic who has so many negative traits it's incomparable. I could list them off but we would be here for awhile. She has tried to water and take care of her plants as of now and crops in the past (she's a farmer and used to have a farm with crops and animals so she isn't new to anything // just for clarification).

If I could show you a comparison of the energy in both places you would be astounded. Not only is it the energy, but it's also the appearance. My neighbors yard has a very light energy, you can breath and feel free. His grass is dark green, everything including his plants are healthy. He animals, his trees, his home. He lives so close to us yet his home seems to catch a breeze of wind through the trees xD Then you go over to my grandmothers house and her yard is dry, even some once healthy trees before she moved in, have now died. Her plants grow but you can tell they're weak. Energy-wise, the place is like walking through a dense cloud of black smoke. It's heavy. The negative energy surrounding my grandmothers home has caused physical effects. I had skin problems (then I moved away with my mom and brothers//and we're positive, so once I was gone my skin healed up and everything was fine again) then we came back and my skin began breaking out again. That's just a small example amidst other stuff.

And for those astrology peeps, think of the planets. Their energy affects us, the earth and etc. Everything has energy, and it's basically like ping pong, bouncing off of everything. However energy loves to cling onto things as well. Which is why it takes time to heal or feel whole again if we've been through a tough time. The more negativity an environment has endured, the longer it will take to peel every layer of negativity. Just like you, wherever your sitting right now needs love 🥺💖

So with that info,

- Take care of your surroundings (even if it's objects and it seems silly)

- Treat others with love and compassion

- Be a good person :)

- Take care of your home for the next people in the future who live there (before I usually move out, I like to sage the area and spray positive spray to help the next people who move in to have a fresh start ☺💖 it's incase any negative energy gets trapped that I didn't feel)

- Grow plants/trees/fruits/veggies with love, sing as you water them, talk positively to them (if you sell them idk it came to me randomly) that's why people say "this was cooked with love" too 😂

- Cleanse your energy often (if you can) 💃

- Take healing baths/do some self care if you have the ability to

- Tip: Positive affirmations, positive subliminals go a long way

- If you're truly having a bad day, don't take it out on others. Tell them you need a minute and go somewhere alone and breath. Think it all out and get back in the groove. Motivate yourself

- If you deal with negative people on a daily, I know what it's like, it's probably impossible to get away from, however laugh it off. Let those negative people act immature if they want. Show them your vibration isn't to be messed with. You're mature. You're strong. They don't deserve your time and energy 😎🤝😊

- Also side note: Show gratitiude in daily life :) Thank your spirit/angel/ancestor guides for any hidden blessings or help that they've bestowed to you. Just because you can't see it doesn't mean it didn't happen. And just because you can't feel it doesn't mean it won't happen! Thank your loved ones for supporting you or anyone important in your life! It's a kind way of showing the universe your love. This can't be a one sided relationship now can it? 🫂

ETC ETC E-

Idk I felt like saying this :') have a nice day please 🫂

#spiritual energy

[jd-205]

Yesterday I've finished Seversin and I don't know what to do with my life now...

Now a bit of rambling about the final episode (spoilers included)

I was afraid of the final episode (ep. 20) after reading some posts on twitter. At first i didn't even wanna watch it at all. But I gave it a shot anyways and...

I liked the first half. The first hour or so was really great and i enjoyed it.

Thoughts about the first half:

I liked 💚

• Kiss, finally!!! They just look superb together in general and i was enjoying it a lot. All their together scenes! ❤️🔥

• I had a good laugh during the camping scenes.

→ For example when they were sleeping outside, I laughed a lot at Asya's internal monolog when she got scared of the potential bugs and scorpions because that would be me!

• I even liked how was Tolga a bit grumpy because that would probably also be me if i was forced to sleep outside without any food etc. lmao. I appreciated that Asya was really positive about it and didn't mock Tolga for example during the first morning and she just noted that thanks to that experience she now knows that Tolga gets grumpy when hungry and tired and that he hates sage tea and drinks coffee every morning and that she wouldn't have figured that out otherwise.

• Tolga's marriage proposal was one of the best I've seen in dizi land imho, truly beautiful and magnificent!

I didn't like ❌

• Tolga destroying the camp to scare Asya into going back to İstanbul, even though i could probably let that one slip but Tolga paying someone to scare Asya at evening was over the top for me and Asya got rightfully mad at that.

• We didn't see how they had negotiated the 3 days of camping. From the viewer's point of view we only know that Asya kidnapped Tolga (without Tolga's complains) and wanted to stay in the middle of nowhere with him (with a bit of Tolga's complains). Then when Tolga got grumpy Asya proclaimed that they agreed on staying there for 3 days and then returning to İstanbul. If we saw that, I would be glad because it looked like Asya got everything her own way without taking Tolga's opinion into account at all.

• They both got some good points during the camping and it went downhill pretty fast only thanks to lack of communication (as always) and no desire in finding compromise (Asya was tired of all the intrigues on and off set and needed to be away from everything; Tolga on the other hand got extremely stressed being in the middle of nowhere away from everything; and they both failed at understanding the other's point of view).

• minor complain: the coca cola product placement came off as kinda silly and ridiculous imo, but i am aware that it's not easy not to make pp seem silly lmao

Thoughts about the second half:

I liked 💚

• Nesrin and Kadir ❤️🔥!

• I think it's positive that Nazlı realized her mistakes and wanted to reconcile with her family but it could have been done better given the terrible stuff she had caused.

• I don't really want to put into positives that the main couple stayed together in the end because that's required by the genre in my opinion and i wouldn't watch any piece of media if the main couple did not stayed together.

• I kinda liked that Tolga accepted the offer and took over his father's company which kinda tied the plot line together but on the other hand it seems unrealistic that he would be able, as an actor, to take over the biggest production company in Turkey and be successful manager but hey, in a fictional world anything's possible so I'm rooting for him.

I didn't like ❌

• Asya and Tolga arguing into break-up after the camping. Imo they both were tired and frustrated which was justified given all the mess they went through in the last couple of episodes but they didn't cope with their emotions in a healthy way and ruined their relationship unnecessarily.

• Everyone overwhelming Asya and Tolga when they got back when clearly everything was not alright. Like okay, they got rightfully scared for their loved ones but it was just bad to start screaming questions one over another when the couple got back as visible hot pipe mess.

• The time skip when AsTol weren't together. In last episode it was unnecessary.

• All the drama was meaningless. I kinda understand (even though i despise it) that they put drama to attract viewers for the next episode but given the fact it was finale they could have made just cute happy ending without all the bs and making the couple apart.

• Asya and Tolga to reconcile for the last like 30 seconds of the series was just a bad joke. They deserved better as characters as well as the actors and we as the audience.

• Selin having nearly no consequences for all the terrible stuff she had done. I don't find it enough that she got kicked out of the company and she moved abroad given all the stuff she had done which was just straight illegal.

What i would change ✨

• I think the first half was good, I would only cut out Tolga paying the guy into scaring Asya. I think that their argument still on camping was kinda understandable but unnecessary, but okay if we let that happen then I would make them reconcile right after. The conversation in the very finale should have been here right after getting back from camping and letting off steam.

• I could see the time skip work if they were together, Tolga taking over the company, they both agreeing to star together in another romcom. When applying time skip they could make the very finale better. Maybe i could see something similar to the ending of Ayşe and Emre (Asya and Tolga's characters) because right then Tolga realized he wants to spend the rest of his life with Asya and start a family together. So it would make sense to show a brief moment of their happy family life.

• Coincidentally I've seen the finale of Erkenci Kuş today so they could make something similar using the time skip. In a couple of minutes we see engagement, wedding, birth of children, family life and happily ever after of Sanem and Can. So it is possible to pack a lot of stuff into very little time using a well thought out time skip.

Final thought:

I loved the first half but the second half was just wasted potential.

Overall I loved Seversin as a whole though, I may wrote my thoughts about the series as a whole in a while.

#astol #asya çelikbaş #tolga tuna #seversin #episode 20 #final #ilayda alişan #burak yörük #i love them with my whole heart #dizi

[progressivemother]

The three year glitch and seven year itch

For many the three year glitch and the seven year itch are difficult to navigate. I think it depends on who you are on which one you have. They are both similar. Older generations usually have the seven year itch while younger ones tend to have the three year glitch.

The three-year glitch has replaced the seven-year itch as the tipping point where couples start to take each other for granted. But either way every relationship goes through this stage. Stinginess, weight gain, cleaniness, etc can all play a part. Even things that were once considered cute by a spouse has become annoying, such as being controlling.

Longer working hours combined with money worries can take a toll, along with sexual incompatibility (even if you were compatible before), personality differences, different outlooks and goals, and incompatible lifestyle quirks. These can play a role in every relationship but that doesn't mean you will see all of these problems in your marriage.

Mine was mainly cleanliness and his long hours. His was that I was too much of a clean freak. But we figured out how to make it work. Now he actually enjoys the house being clean and gets annoyed at messes. He got a different job with less hours and I started working from home.

To say it was a stressful time in our lives is an understatement. We went through the three year glitch. At seven years we didn't have an issue.

Here are some ways to get through this.

1. Realize you can’t change anyone but yourself. We cannot change another person, and attempting to do so actually harms the relationship. This isn’t to say that people can’t change. They totally can. On their own. My husband and I have changed over time naturally with the motivation of each other.

2. Get out of the victim mentality. You will drown if you are focusing on yourself. Remember that your spouse has just as many things that they could be upset about that you do. There’s two sides to every story. This is why communication is key. As I said in another post, use anger as an opportunity not an obstacle.

3. Share things equally. This is related to #2. If you feel like your doing everything on your own while your spouse comes home and sits for hours after work, then talk about it. If you don't, you'll be miserable. Since you can't change your spouse, you have to address it another way. For us, I went back to work and also had some girls nights out, giving him time to care for the kids. He got to where he understood how hard it was. We both work and we both parent. It has been really good for us.

4. Have regular date nights. This one is simple, but important. And easier said than done. Because life is busy! Having time to just be a couple can be extremely beneficial to the relationship. It doesn't have to be anything expensive either. You can have a picnic or stay at home and have a movie night while the kids spend the night with the grandparents. For us, we decided on at least once a month, maybe more if we have time. Mix it up. Adventure promotes bonding.

5. Choose to laugh. My husband likes to tease. He makes a lot of jokes and loves to pinch and slap my butt. If either of us get upset about something silly, laughing immediately diffuses any situation. Keep your mood up. Find things to laugh about throughout the day. Watch some funny Youtube clips or TikTok.

6. Focus on your spouse’s good qualities. This one is hard to do when you’re annoyed with your spouse, but it is powerful. My husband likes to joke, he is a very accepting person, reliable, hardworking, trustworthy, loyal, responsible, courageous, kind, has integrity, would die before he let anything happen to me or the kids, and best of all he cares for women's rights, lgbtqia rights, children's rights, and bipoc rights.

7. Don't compare your marriage to others. No one's marriage is perfect and to think it is isn't being honest with yourself. Don't compare your marriage to Instagram or Facebook marriages you see. Yours is yours. I don't compare ours to anyone's, because the reality is that those couples don't have the perfect marriage either. Perfect isn't a reality. The reality is that our marriage is perfect for us.

8. Make a plan for improvement. Pick a handful of things to work on. Things that you think will have the biggest impact. Make some goals, set aside some time. Make a plan. Decide to improve your marriage and increase your happiness. We did this for ourselves. We are at our ten year milestone and are much happier than we were in the third year of our marriage.

Marriage can be hard, but we all know it's worth it. You can be as in love with your spouse as you were on the day you married. It takes effort to keep a marriage going but it is well worth it, especially when you are in love. Marriage will always take give, take, compromise, and plenty of communication.

#love #progressive #family #relationship #marriedlife #marriage #progressive parenting

[demonsandco]

I searched through your blog and I'm honestly so surprised you don't have more Simeon content. That being said, if you're still doing it, can I get the WHOLE smut alphabet for Simeon?

You’re right! It’s a shame cause he’s very much one of my favorites now that we get to see more of him in game! Normally I wouldn’t do the entire alphabet like this because it’s… a lot, but Simeon deserves it uwu. This is nearly 3000 words, which makes it my longest post yet by a long shot!

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Simeon is such a sweetheart after sex. He’s not actually sleepy, but his limbs feel like jelly and he’s full of so many soft, loving emotions. All he wants to do is keep his partner close in his arms, slyly stealing kisses from their lips and whispering words of love in their ear. He’s not eager to get up or move at all, but he’s willing to have a bath or grab some water if they join him. Sex leaves him feeling rather emotional and vulnerable, and he really just wants to feel them near him and hear their voice.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Simeon’s favorite part of his body is his hands. He wears gloves often to protect them, leaving his skin feeling so soft and smooth. He’s a very hands on type of person, and he’s quite skilled with them, too. One of his favorite things to do during sex is run his hands up and down his partner’s sides, feeling their warmth under his palms.

In turn, Simeon loves every part of their body. If he had to pick just one part, though, it would be their eyes. He’s a firm believer in the saying that “eyes are the windows to the soul” and he could lose himself in their gaze. He’s fond of maintaining eye contact, watching their expression shift as they get close and memorising the different shades and tones that make up their eye color.

(Cont under the cut)

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Simeon cums so much, both in quantity and frequency, but he hates the messiness of it. It feels good in the moment, but it gets cold and sticky way too quickly for his liking. He really likes to see his partner covered in his cum, as though he marked them as his in a way only the two of them would know about, but he’s always quick to help clean them up before it gets uncomfortable.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Simeon really doesn’t have anything that he would call a dirty secret. All the sexual experiences he’s had in the past have been quite tame and he’s very much not the type of person to feel ashamed about his past actions or keep them secret. He’s an open book when it comes to relationships and sex.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Contrary to popular belief, angels are allowed to have sex. As long as it doesn’t impact their duties, angels can do whatever they want with their private lives, and Simeon very much took advantage of that. He’s had quite a few partners in the past, especially before the war took place. His original rank as a Seraph gave him a lot of popularity among other angels. His experiences have taught him a lot about how to make his partner feel good in many different ways, but he never really had the chance to figure out what he enjoys. There’s a huge opportunity for them to experiment with his body and to teach him more than just the basics.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Simeon is really open to experimenting and trying out new positions, so he doesn’t have just one favorite. However, the positions he enjoys most are ones where he can see his partner’s face, especially if the position lets him pull them against his chest when he feels the need for closeness. He’s open to just about any position, though, even if it seems rather absurd at first.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Simeon isn’t goofy enough to ruin the moment, but his playful nature definitely shines through. If he’s in bed with someone, that means he feels close to them emotionally, too, so he feels comfortable enough to not stay serious all the time. Sometimes things go wrong in the moment or something silly gets said out loud on accident. He doesn’t see anything wrong with laughing it off or jokingly teasing each other. He’s good at telling when the mood allows for some laughs and when some composure is necessary.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Being an angel, Simeon’s body is almost entirely hairless. Besides the hair on his head, the only other hair on him is a small patch above his cock and a very faint happy trail. He doesn’t enjoy the feel of shaving, but he does keep it very neatly trimmed at all times. Colour wise, it matches the hair on his head perfectly.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Simeon is quite romantic in the moment. Love and intimacy are very important aspects of sex to him, and that comes through in most of his actions. His pace, his preferred positions, everything reflects that intimacy that he craves. Through it all, he’s sweet talking to his partner, letting them know how good they make him feel, how important they are to him, and how much he loves them. He knows he might come across as too intense, but he wants to make sure they know that sex isn’t just about the physical aspect for him.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Simeon rarely, if ever, feels the need to masturbate. Without a partner, sex really isn’t something he thinks about often, and if he does have a partner, he’d much rather take care of his need with them, rather than on his own. If he does end up jacking off, though, he always ends up fantasising about them, and he finds that he can’t actually cum without imagining them being there with him.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Unsurprisingly, Simeon has a corruption kink. It came as a huge shock to him when he first realised it, but something about having his sweet little human tempt him and lead him down a path of “sin” excites him. It feeds into his rebellious nature that he constantly tries to control. It gives him a rush of adrenaline whenever they convince him to do something shameful or lewd and he finds himself enjoying it and even craving more instead of actually feeling shame.

As well, Simeon also has a massive praise kink. He always strives to please his partner as best as he can and getting positive reinforcement, something he rarely hears normally, sends shocks of pleasure shooting down his spine. The more praise he gets, the more eager he is to be good. If he’s being bratty, praising his good behavior in the past gets him to behave much quicker than a “punishment” would.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Simeon’s preferred location is either his or his partner’s room. It’s a place that feels safe and familiar, while also offering privacy. They can take as much time as they want and be as loud as they feel like without having to worry about anyone bursting in.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Getting Simeon turned on is pretty easy. All his partner needs to do is be direct with their advances. Their boldness excites him. He isn’t the type of person to get turned on by seemingly innocent actions, so their intent needs to be clear. That, alongside some suggestive touches, is more than enough to get him in the mood.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Simeon is usually open to trying anything once and there’s not a lot that he’s opposed to, but he is very serious with his boundaries. He refuses to allow sex with his partner to start impacting his day to day life. Skipping classes, missing meetings, or even risking being late to something, even if it’s not important, in favor of sex is a big no for him. He makes his boundaries very clear from the start, and will quickly become harsh if his partner doesn’t respect them.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Simeon has almost no experience in oral, giving or receiving, but it quickly becomes one of his favorite things. He could spend hours between his partner’s thighs without getting bored. While he’s rather hesitant and unsure at first, he’s very skilled at reading their reactions and starts adjusting his technique to make them feel as good as possible.

He doesn’t enjoy receiving quite as much, but he still loves it! It’s so easy for his partner to make him cum or overstimulate him with just their mouth. The warm wetness of their mouth feels divine and their breath is so hot against his skin, he can’t help but cum embarrassingly quickly.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Simeon greatly enjoys taking his time with his partner, keeping a slow and sensual pace and exploring every inch of their body with his mouth and hands. He’s not a fan of rushing, even as he gets closer to his peak, he keeps his pace steady, his body molding against theirs. He’s not opposed to going faster if they prefer that, but his favorite pace will always be slow and intimate.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Simeon is not a fan of quickies. He’ll be open to trying it at least once, but he knows from the start that it’s not his cup of tea. The whole thing just feels so rushed and impersonal to him. The most important part of sex to him is the intimacy and emotional connections, and quickies feel very lacking in comparison. If anything, they leave him craving his partner even more than before.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Simeon is very open to experimenting and he’s always excited to learn and experience new things. He’s willing to try anything once, even if it’s something that he’s pretty sure he won’t enjoy. The idea of taking risks also interests him, but it needs to only be a perceived risk for him to participate. Something like messing around in an empty classroom at RAD is exciting, but it needs to be afterhours when the school is empty and the door has to be locked for him to feel comfortable.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Simeon’s stamina is not the best, at least at first. He can go for more rounds than the average human just because he’s an angel, but he’s so unbelievably sensitive that the rounds themselves are rather short. It’s been so long since he’s had anyone touch him sexually that he ended up cumming in his pants the first time he was with his partner. With time, his stamina will improve drastically, probably to the point where he could easily outlast them, but he needs some practice to get there.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Toys aren’t something Simeon has ever really thought about using or has ever owned. When he sees the huge variety of toys that exist, he feels excited to try them out, mostly relying on his partner’s preferences and recommendations to pick some. He quickly learns that he really enjoys having them use different toys on him and, in turn, he loves the new opportunities the toys give him when it comes to pleasuring them in return. The possessive, prideful part of him that is usually buried very much prefers making his partner feel good on his own, without toys to help, but most of the time, he doesn’t mind.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

The first time he teases his partner, it’s entirely accidental, his habit of going slow and taking his time exploring their body ends up making him tease them. Once he sees the way it makes them feel, though, he starts doing it on purpose, wanting to see more of their reactions. He’ll relent, with a smug little smile on his face, if they start begging, but until then, he plays the innocent card, pretending not to realise what he’s doing.

As much as he likes to dish it out, Simeon really can’t take much teasing. He’s so sensitive and desperate that he’ll start begging immediately, willing to do anything just to feel more of their touch.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Simeon is naturally very loud and he lets out the prettiest sounds. At first, he tries to muffle them and keep his volume down. He talks quite a bit, at least while he’s still able to form coherent thoughts, and loves to whisper sweet things to his partner in a breathy tone. The closer he gets to cumming, the more his words devolve into delicate gasps and high pitched moans. When he cums, he lets out the longest, breathiest whine that no amount of gritting his teeth or covering his mouth could smother. He’s very vocal throughout, and without some sort of soundproofing, his voice can very much be heard through the walls.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Simeon has a hard time controlling his wings during sex. He can’t focus hard enough to keep them hidden and they tend to have a mind of their own, fluttering and puffing up depending on how he feels. They’re quite sensitive in the moment too, especially at the base. In the end, he finds himself wrapping his wings around his partner as he pulls them close, keeping them warm and safe under his feathers. Unfortunately, this usually means that the bed is covered in feathers from all his flapping and wiggling.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Simeon has such a pretty cock, so perfectly smooth that it almost looks like a drawing rather than an actual dick. He’s large enough to be impressive without seeming intimidating, with just enough girth to feel like a stretch, but not be painful. It’ll still take some prep for his partner to take him, but it won’t be too difficult with some patience and plenty of lube.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Simeon’s libido isn’t very high at all, and sex isn’t something that’s on his mind constantly. What matters to him most is spending quality time with his partner, regardless of what they’re doing together. They usually need to be the one to actually initiate things, since he has no qualms with pushing down his need to avoid ruining the moment. With how much he values physical touch, it’s not hard for cuddles to become something more, and as long as there’s time for it, Simeon will never say no.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Sex doesn’t exactly leave him feeling sleepy, but it does make him feel extraordinarily relaxed. He tends to follow his partner’s lead, staying awake longer if they don’t plan to sleep right away. With how warm and soft he feels, though, he has no trouble falling asleep quickly, cuddling them close to his chest to absorb more of their body heat. If it’s up to him, he prefers to share some casual pillow talk together, before falling asleep soon after. If he can avoid having to get up and be functional, he will.

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me simeon #obey me smut #smut alphabet #lime time #anon ily this was a wonderful ask #it took fucking ages to finish tho lmao

[cherryxmelo]

OTP(3) questions from this meme: the-moon-dust-writings.tumblr.com/post/179523994973/otp-questions. (I’m shy about participating in asks games so I’m just gonna answer them all myself LOL). Read on for silly Jasvandrik headcanons :P 💖

1. Who laughs at their own joke and who deadpans at the joke?

I will get the obvious statements out of the way first; Sylvia laughs at any thing and anyone, even things that aren’t funny because I suppose clowns are just wired that way. Hendrik laughs at nothing (minus puns involving horses) while Jasper also laughs at nothing save for his own rare jokes, usually ones he makes at Hendrik or Sylvia’s expense (to which Sylvia also finds astoundingly hilarious).

2. If they had a secret handshake, how would it go?

Jasper and Sylvia would have elaborate ones that go very poorly whenever uncoordinated Hendrik attempts to join. Plus Jasper would be a huge fan of offering his hand and then moving it quickly outta the way just to run it through his hair.

3. It’s movie night, what movies are they gonna watch together?

Romances, art nouveau, and horse films. Hopefully they’ll eventually find the perfect film that’s a combination of all three.

4. It’s time to name their pet they adopted together, who gets to name it? How do they come to this decision?

I wanna say Jasper propositions that his chosen names are the best, the most sophisticated… whether or not that’s actually true is up for debate. Think prominent historical figures, famous knights, expensive jewels and brands, etc. Any pet of his deserves a dignified name.

5. Who would they love to go on a double date with?

Obsidian and Margarita (alternatively Jade and Serena)

6. Who wakes the other up in the morning? How do they wake them up?

I like to imagine Sylv is the earliest riser (no coffee required, just their peppy spirit and some morning yoga). Definitely wakes the others up by jumping on the bed and bestowing an endless flurry of kisses. Whereas Hendrik sleeps like a log and sets his alarm to snooze at least 10 times before falling back asleep. Jasper is the biggest night owl between all of them, and possibly an even worse morning person than Hendrik, especially when his cat Diamond wakes him up screaming because she’s hungry—so with that and his other habits I imagine he sleeps the least.

7. How do they celebrate Halloween?

I will simply use this as an excuse to plug my Sylvendrik fic from Halloween right here.

8. Who is more likely to call their partner ‘dude’?

Sylvia (or Hendrik once Sylv teaches him that “Dude” is a formal way to say “comrade” in Puerto Valor).

9. During a thunderstorm how do they react? Is one scared? Do they both love it? Do they take pictures? ECT.

They stay indoors and drink wine (and cuddle up with a few books and each-other). Hendrik is ill suited for this kind of whether, so the other two tend to stay nearby even when he doesn’t vocally express any discomfort.

10. Who would looking lovingly at their partner and call them ‘idiot’?

Jasper and Sylvia for sure.

11. It’s time to get groceries, who likes to look at everything and who just wants to power through and get everything done so they can go back home?

Hendrik has a carefully constructed plan of action and the entire store mapped out and memorized complete with a handwritten essentials list, but Jasper is taking his time in the booze and cereal isles while Sylvia rides along in the cart and gossips with every employee he shares glances with.

12. Who is more likely to make a mess in the kitchen?

Hendrik, back from his organized grocery store operation, cannot cook anything to save his life. When he isn’t burning things or adding too much salt, their dinner ingredients are strewn about the kitchen.

13. Who likes to try to prank their partner?

I don’t think the answer to this one needs an explanation but can we say Sylvia please. Not necessarily a prank, but dragging the other two to perform a three-man circus act is definitely an idea floating around in my brain at the moment. Sylvia’s “turn Hendrik’s axe into a teddy bear” trick from the chara book lives on in my heart. …I also have notes on a pre-game fic involving two knights forced on a dignitary trip to the circus that could definitely lead them astray and straight into Sylv’s (completely innocent) hands… but shh shh that’s top secret.

14. When scrolling on their phone, who is more likely to show their partner a cute picture/video of an animal?

Random animals he spots? Sylv. Pictures of his horse? Definitely Hendrik, he has hundreds of them—mostly poor quality, out of frame, and blurry ones. And a fed up Jasper is currently scouting Erdrea for a competent pet photographer so Hendrik might finally have legible photos of Obsidian… mostly for Jasper’s own peace of mind but it is a rather sweet gesture.

15. Who causes the tomfoolery and who has to try and stop the tomfoolery?

My immediate response is Sylv of course—because duh, literal clown and certified pursuer or fun times—but if I’m being honest all three of them have their particular quirks that are an easy path to trouble. Sylvs has their fathomless energy, Jasper his intolerance for most things and (perhaps sometimes misplaced) grandiosity, and Hendrik is well… charmingly simple and bold. That’s probably at least part of why I enjoy them all so much: they have very distinctive traits as most characters tend to do, but writing them never feels boring, there’s just so many ways to shake things up. I LOVE MY OLD MEN. 💖

#jasvandrik #henjasp #sylvendrik #jasvando #jasper #sylvando/sylvia #hendrik #dragon quest 11 #my writing #shipping #🎀.txt

[the-gay-prometheus]

AU Segment - What’s In A Name (Parts 1 and 2 Combined!)

Oh hey, hi, hello. I finally finished this bit! I’m not sure how I entirely feel about it, but considering all of these segments are still just ‘test runs’ for this AU, that’s kinda to be expected. No warnings needed for these to my knowledge, just wholesome silly stuff and a bit of heartfelt moments thrown in. Just some notes before I share this full segment: 1. You’ll notice that unlike the last segment I posted, the creature is simply called Creature with a capital c rather than “the creature.” There is a reason for this! The narrator, although omniscient, has a bias toward Victor and his point of view about this character. The name of said character changes along with Victor’s view of him - from being a mess of all kinds of nasty things (’beast,’ ‘monster,’ ‘demon,’ etc.), to simply being ‘the creature, then to being more of a formal name ‘Creature,’ and finally to his actual name. In moments where Victor is particularly upset with this character, the title used by the narrator may change to reflect that. 2. This is veeeery very long considering it’s both parts 1 and 2. Knowing tumblr, formatting may get all screwed up, but I’m hoping for the best! 3. Both parts will also be posted to ao3 in their own works, so if you’d rather have links to them there so you’re not endlessly scrolling through a massive wall of text, feel free to ask! 4. I’m still practicing my ‘not-so-angsty’ writing, so some parts may be a little wonky because the wholesome silly stuff is not quite where my skills lie yet 😅 5. Special shout-out to @fergus-reid! The name ‘Percival’ suggested in part two that Victor rejects because it is a ‘name that he heavily considered’ was 100% influenced by his incredible podcast “The Marksbury Incident” - a beautifully written and acted modern/cross-over type AU where Victor is also a trans man (and canonically considered the name Percival for himself)! It’s a really neat story and I totally recommend checking it out! As always, likes, reblogs, and comments of any kind are appreciated! Without further ado, I present ‘What’s In A Name?’

PART 1: “How about… hm… Gabriel?” Victor and Creature trekked along the mountain trail, Victor taking the lead so Creature wouldn’t go too far ahead. “That’s a good name, don’t you think?” Creature shrugged his shoulders, pausing to inspect the nearly white bark of a silver fir, tracing along the jagged edges with curiosity. “Is that a no?” Victor asked, somewhat out of breath as he turned to check on his creation. “Yes, that is a no,” Creature mumbled as he looked upward toward the top of the tall conifer. “Oh! I know! How about Luca? It means light!” Creature turned toward him with a disappointed frown. “Perfect, because surely I am the light of your life,” he remarked with clear sarcasm. For a moment Victor was almost impressed; after all, this was the first he had heard him make any kind of obviously sarcastic… joke? Was it a joke? “Well, no, that would be Henry,” Victor replied, turning back toward the trail and motioning for Creature to follow. “But you were born of lightning, so it would at least have some sentimental meaning?” The creation shook his head. “I would rather not be consistently reminded of my origins.” The two continued along the trail, Victor staying quiet as he tried to think of another name that might work. As they walked, they came along a portion of the trail with a steep, rocky cliff that harbored the continuation of the trail on top. Victor, being the stubborn person he was, insisted that he could climb up himself, but each time he tried to scrabble up, he would lose his hold or lose his footing and fall back down. Though he continued to insist he could do it, Creature lifted him up and set him on the top of the stone. Victor shot him a nasty look, brushing off his clothing as if where he had touched him was somehow now dirty, but Creature ignored it and hoisted himself up to the top with ease. “Then how about Adam?” Victor suggested, turning and starting his way down the trail once again. Creature stood at the cliff edge, staring at his creator. “After all, you came up with that one yourself.” “I… I do not want a name that I came up with,” Creature began. “I would much rather it come from you.” Victor gave him an odd look. “What does it matter? A name is a name, right? I named myself and you don’t see me complaining about it,” he retorted, crossing his arms. He glanced off to the side, then frowned. “Well… I suppose Henry technically helped- but I’m the one who chose it.” Creature crossed his own arms and gave him the kind of look that said ‘well, there’s the answer to your own question.’ Victor stared at him, then dramatically waved his arms and spun around. “Fine! Fine. Alright. What if I said I was giving that name to you because I thought it fit you and not because you came up with it? I mean, it is rather fitting considering-” “Then you missed my entire point of what I had said when I brought that name up,” Creature cut him off. Victor looked back to him. “Then what were you saying?” “I said I ought to be your Adam but… that it was not who I actually was to you. It was…” He hesitated. “A painful moment for me, Victor. To come to the realization that everything I should have been was everything I never would have had the chance to be.” Victor sighed, hanging his head. “Well, what if it’s who you are to me now?” he asked, his voice sincere. Creature shook his head. “That makes no difference. Once again it would simply be a reminder of such dreadful memories. I would rather live my life without being constantly reminded of my past simply by someone calling me by my name.” Victor didn’t answer, opting instead to take a step and continue onward. Creature hesitated, but followed all the same. “Gilbert?” Victor called out as he walked. Creature couldn’t help but chuckle. “Well that was out of nowhere.” “But is it a no?” “Yes, it is a no.” Victor made a grunt of disappointment, then looked around, pointing to a tall conifer with beautiful vibrant orange needles. “What about Larch? Like the tree?” he asked. His creation paused, looking at the tree and others of its species around them. “It is certainly a beautiful tree,” he remarked simply. “Though I am not sure it is a good name.” “Come on, it’s a great name!” Victor exclaimed, turning back to the trail and clambering his way up a boulder that blocked the path. “I will… give it some thought,” Creature promised with a slight smile, hopping over the boulder as though it were only a mild inconvenience. “That doesn’t sound like a no to me,” Victor proposed, grinning. “It is not a no, but it is also not a yes,” Creature explained, reaching up and plucking a handful of the orange needles from one of the trees and inspecting them closer. “Then it’s basically a no and I should keep going,” Victor suggested. Far ahead, the trees cleared and open sky above distant ridgeline could be seen - signifying they were nearly home - and Victor let out an exasperated sigh. “I told you I’d have a name for you by the time we got home. You’re making this more difficult than it has to be.” “And I told you that these things take far more time than what one walk will procure,” Creature countered. “Not that you listen to me, of course.” He continued onward, passing Victor, who watched as he walked by. “I don’t listen to anyone,” Victor called to him as he watched him walk. “I thought that would’ve been fairly obvious by now.” “Oh, it is certainly obvious, but that does not make it - or you, for that matter - any less irritating, Victor,” his creation answered from ahead. Victor frowned. “Hey- Hey! Wait up!” He scrambled as he broke into a run, tripping over a stone and nearly falling but somehow miraculously not falling flat on his face. “What was that supposed to mean?” Creature kept walking, pausing to lift a bough that crossed in front of the path and ducking beneath it, holding it away from the trail so Victor could pass without walking into it. “I was simply stating a fact,” he mentioned, letting the branch go once Victor was through. “Hmph.” Victor strode past him, ducking his way through the last tangle of branches before emerging to the ledge where their little hut stood. “Could’ve kept it to yourself,” he grumbled as he straightened his vest and brushed off his coat. “I will keep that in mind,” Creature stated, emerging beside him with at least one twig sticking awkwardly out of his long black hair. Victor looked up at him, staring at the twig in his hair with narrowed eyes until Creature got the hint that there was something there, then started making his way back toward their home with his shoulders drooped and his eyes on the ground. Grumbling something about how ungrateful his creation was, he made his way to the door, reached for it, and then- whack! The door flew open, hitting Victor directly in the face and knocking him backward. He clutched at his nose with a yelp of pain. Creature couldn’t help but chuckle - this was at least the third time this had happened in the past week alone. It was Henry who had opened the door, and who had promptly let out a sharp gasp of surprise upon seeing his boyfriend dramatically writhing around on the ground with his hand over his face. “Good lord Victor!” he exclaimed, dropping to the ground to check if he was ok. Victor sucked in a breath and hissed it out through his teeth, slowly removing his hand from his nose and blinking his eyes back open. Upon seeing Henry, directly above him, he managed a half smile. “You’re lucky I love you,” he sneered, pushing himself up onto his hands. Henry grinned, planting a kiss on Victor’s lips, which Victor gladly reciprocated. As he pulled back, Henry stood, offering a hand to help his boyfriend up from the ground. “I know I am,” Henry answered Victor’s original statement with a smirk. “Not that he poses much of a threat regardless,” Creature quipped from behind them. Victor rolled his eyes and Henry snickered. “Well, threat or not,” he began, wrapping his arm around Victor, “How’d it go? Did you two finally figure out a name?” “No, we didn’t. That one is too stubborn,” Victor complained, pointing to his creation. “I simply did not relate to any of the names you suggested, Victor. That is not stubbornness, that is…” He paused, thinking of how to word it. “Well… I suppose it could be stubbornness.” Henry shook his head. “Not stubbornness at all. A name is an important and meaningful thing, so if you have yet to hear one that you feel fits you, then it just doesn’t fit and that’s all there is to it,” he explained with a kind smile. Victor gave him a side-eyed glance, then sighed. “Alright, sure. Not stubborn. Just irritating,” he retorted, giving Creature a sneer. Creature stared at him for a moment, then shrugged. “Well, you did create me, after all.” Henry tried to hold back a laugh, and couldn’t help but let it out as Victor pushed him away with a scoff. “I am not irritating!” he announced, earning even harder laughter from Henry. He spun on his heels to face him, crossing his arms. “It’s not funny! I’m not irritating!” “Pfff- Yes you are!” Henry exclaimed through his laughter. Victor wanted to be angry, but Henry’s laughter was contagious as always and he found himself starting to snicker along. “No I’m not!” he repeated, though much less seriously. “You most certainly are,” Creature mentioned, starting to chuckle a bit himself. “I- I am absolutely not,” Victor reiterated, trying to make himself sound very serious but only making himself - as well as Henry and Creature - laugh even harder. “Yes you are!” Henry teased, reaching out and flicking Victor’s nose. Victor flung his hand up and stumbled back. “Ow! Henry that’s still sore!” he exclaimed reaching out to flick him back. Henry jumped out of the way and took off toward the open land of the ridge just beyond their hut still laughing as he gave his boyfriend a look that seemed to say ‘just try to catch me.’ Victor smirked and ran off after him, shouting “You sly bastard- get back here!” Creature watched them chase one another, his laughter slowly subsiding to a smiling sigh. Name or no name, he felt like he was finally so much closer to the life he wanted - a loving family of sorts, though a strange family it may be. He watched as Henry switched directions and came up from behind Victor, tackling him to the ground. Though he couldn’t make out what they were saying, he could hear as their own laughter turned to quiet words, and then to quiet as Henry silenced Victor with another kiss. A content expression on his face, Creature lay back, sprawled out on the ground, and watched the clouds as they passed through the sky. PART 2: The afternoon was fair-weathered and peaceful, blue sky hardly obscured by a few fluffy clouds with the sun casting its brilliant light evenly over the mountains. Creature had spent just about the entirety of the last few hours still lying on the ground, the first half watching the clouds that passed by while considering each shape they took as they changed with the wind, and the second half so well at peace that he had fallen asleep. That was, of course, until the feeling of something being dropped on his chest caused his eyes to snap open. Above him stood Henry, who was looking down at him with his arms crossed and a smile on his face. Creature managed an awkward smile in return, and looked down at what had been dropped on him. He recognized the small leather bag and gently plucked it off his chest, reaching up to drop it back into Henry’s now waiting outstretched hand. “Fancy a game?” Henry asked with a grin, shaking the bag and causing the contents inside to clink and rattle. Creature chuckled and slowly lifted himself upright. “Of course, though you could have woken me in perhaps a less startling manner,” he replied. “Where’s the fun in that?” Henry joked, tossing the bag back and forth between his hands. “Will Victor be joining us?” Creature inquired as he rose to his feet and brushed the dust and dirt from his cloak and pants. “Begrudgingly, yes,” came a flat voice from behind him. He turned to find Victor standing there, looking almost entirely unamused - almost, though Creature could tell he was actually looking forward to it. Henry was the first to jog over to their typical outdoor playing spot, a fairly flat length of stone close to the edge of the ledge, and emptied the contents of the bag onto the ground. An array of clearly non-professionally made dominos, all somewhat unevenly cut with a yellow-stained tint (the clear sign of being made with real bone), clattered down and Henry quickly flipped any that fell right-side-up over so that only the blank sides were facing. Creature arrived and sat down carefully, knowing the drill by now and beginning to choose his five tiles. Victor flopped himself down beside Henry, faking an annoyed sigh as he started to pick his tiles. Henry caught the fake sigh and snatched one of the tiles Victor was about to pick before he could take it, resulting in the two in the two of them giving each other mock-mad looks before they both devolved into a small fit of giggles. As the two of them continued to pester each other while picking their tiles, Creature picked up his own tiles to see if he had managed to pick up a doubles tile. “All-threes as usual, correct?” he mentioned above their antics. Henry looked up at him with a nod. “Yes, unless you wanted to try something different today?” Creature thought for a moment. “No, I am content with the usual.” “Well that’s perfect,” Victor quipped as he looked at his tiles, his expression brightening. He set one of his tiles down, one with six pips on both ends. “Twelve points for me,” he mused, picking up a small splinter of stone and scratching twelve tally marks down beside him on a bare spot of the stone ground amongst a multitude of other scratched-over tallies from games past. “Perfect for me too,” Henry teased, placing a tile with six pips on one end and none on the other. “That’s twelve points for me also.” Victor shot him a clearly sarcastically scathing glance, which Henry countered with a smirk as he reached for the stone splinter Victor had been keeping tally with to tally his own points. “It seems we are starting this with a tie,” Creature examined, placing a fully blank tile beside the one Henry had placed down before picking up a much larger splinter of stone beside him and carving out twelve tallies for himself. Victor gave him a disappointed glance before checking his own tiles and finding one he could place, though it would earn him no more points. Henry placed his next tile and the turn was passed to Creature, who managed to score another twelve points. “Hey Victor, I think I figured out what name we should give him,” Henry mentioned with sarcasm as Creature scratched down his tallies. Creature glanced upward, listening carefully. Victor didn’t answer, but instead rolled his hand in a motion that meant ‘go on.’ Henry snickered as he placed down a tile of his own. “I think we should call him Victor the Second because at this rate you’re going to lose your winning streak.” “No, I think we should call him Henry,” Victor countered, voice dripping with sarcasm as he played his own next tile and scratched down six points for himself. “I am not taking either of your names,” Creature muttered with a slight smile as he placed his next tile down and etched twelve more points on his tally. “That would be far too strange.” “Fair enough,” Henry replied, checking his tiles and realizing he needed to draw from the free-pile in order to place one down. “How about… Ah! I’ve got it!” he exclaimed. “How about Hector?” Both Victor and Creature gave him an odd look. “Hector?” Victor repeated, raising one eyebrow as he also picked up a few tiles from the free pile in order to find one to place down - which he did, and scratched in three points for himself. “Henry, Victor,” Henry explained, raising one hand with each name. “Hector,” he finished, clapping his hands together. Victor couldn’t help but let out a snort of laughter, and Creature chuckled softly as well. “Amusing and sweet, Henry, but I do not think that is the name for me,” he replied, placing his final tile down. Checking over the playing area again, he grinned. “And I do believe that is a win.” Victor shot his glance down. “What?!” He looked at what had been put down. “How? Are you already out of bones?” Creature nodded. “Indeed.” “Ha!! The unbeatable Victor finally tastes defeat!” Henry exclaimed, ruffling his fingers through Victor’s hair - Victor, who flicked his hand away to take a closer look at the spread as if somehow that would make it change. “No, no - not possible. Absolutely impossible.” He looked up at Creature and squinted. “You cheated somehow.” Creature gave him a confused look. “I… do not believe it is even possible to cheat at this game?” “Don’t mind him, he’s just being a sore loser,” Henry reassured him, bumping Victor in the shoulder with his elbow. Victor gave a huff and crossed his arms. “Rematch?” Creature nodded. “If you are both so inclined.” Victor glanced away, trying to hold back a smile. Truth was, he actually was very much enjoying himself. “... Fine,” he said at a length, beginning to flip and mix the tiles. They each plucked their dominos from the pile. “Anyone have a double six?” Henry asked as he looked at his tiles. Victor and Creature both looked at each other as if asking each other the same question, then both shook their heads. Creature looked back down at his tiles, then placed down a double five. “Good enough.” “How about Daniel?” Victor asked as Henry played a tile. “Do you have a reason for that name?” Creature responded as Victor played his next and scratched a new tally of three. “Not particularly. It’s just a nice name,” Victor replied, gesturing that it was his turn. “I see.” Creature placed a tile, and scratched a six for himself, which prompted a quiet ‘scheisse!’ from Victor. He couldn’t help but smile at the reaction. “I would have to say no.” “Does it have to be a name with meaning?” Victor asked as he watched Henry play his turn. “I would prefer it to, if possible.” Victor thought for a moment as he placed his next tile. “Percival is a good name,” Henry suggested with a smirk toward Victor. Victor gave a thoughtful look, then furrowed his brow and gave Henry a look of flat annoyance. “He can’t just have the name I didn’t take,” he muttered. “You had considered naming yourself Percival?” Creature inquired as he picked up a tile from the draw pile and placed it down, etching a twelve in his tallies. “Considered it, yes,” Victor grumbled in reply. “I… do like the sentiment of taking on your unused name,” Creature mentioned, thinking it through more as he watched Henry play his next turn. “Well- you can’t have it,” Victor responded, picking up two tiles and placing one down. “What about Prometheus? I fancied myself to be like him while I was making you, so there would be some meaning to it.” Creature took a moment to think, then shook his head. “I feel I really do not want something that relates in any way to my creation. Not… that I resent being created, mind you, but I have tried to put the past behind me as much as possible, as you know,” he explained as he set down his next tile. Victor sighed heavily, resting his elbow on his knee and his chin on his hand as Henry played his turn and scratched a twelve down for himself. They continued their turns in relative silence, until finally as the sun was beginning to set in the sky it was Victor who placed his final tile. Though he felt like he should be celebrating that, instead Victor felt… defeated. He got up, muttering, “Good game, both of you,” before sulking off back to the cabin. Henry watched him go with a concerned gaze. “Have I… said something wrong?” Creature asked quietly, suddenly beginning to worry that he had hurt his creator in some way. Henry sighed. “No, you’re fine,” he reassured him as he began collecting the tiles and placing them back into their holding pouch. “You coming inside?” Creature shook his head. “I… think I will stay out here for the time being.” Henry smiled at him and gave him an understanding nod before making his way to the cabin. As he stepped inside, he set the pouch down on the side table by the door and made his way into what they considered the ‘common space,’ where Victor sat by the fireplace which only softly glowed with a freshly started fire. “Are you alright, love?” Henry asked gently, sitting beside him and wrapping an arm around him. Victor heaved a shaky sigh and rested his head on Henry’s shoulder. “I just… I feel like I can’t do right by him,” he mumbled, pressing himself closer to his boyfriend. “Nothing I’ve ever done has been… right.” Henry listened carefully as he spoke, holding him tighter and resting his head against Victor’s. “Well, you’re trying, aren’t you?” he suggested softly. “I think he’s just happy that you’re trying.” “Trying isn’t enough,” Victor stated, sitting upright and staring into the small, flickering flames. “After all I’ve done and all I’ve said, trying isn’t enough.” “Then let’s change our approach,” Henry recommended with a smile, reaching out and gently turning Victor’s face toward him to give him a tender kiss. Victor exhaled softly and leaned into it, then slowly pulled back. “How so?” “We could start by doing what we did when we chose your name.” Victor’s eyes widened. “Oh!” he exclaimed, clapping his hands together. “Henry, you’re a genius!” “I’m flattered, but that honor belongs to you, love,” Henry quipped with a grin. “Come on - let’s start reading.” The two of them scoured the collection of books that Henry had brought up with him, picking out names and sounding them off to each other one by one. They went through book after book until the sun disappeared and the sky went dark, either one of them occasionally throwing a new log into the fire to ensure they had plenty of light and warmth. After a few hours, Victor stared down at a page, and uttered, “I think I’ve got it.” Henry looked up from his own book and set it down, swiftly moving over to him. Victor pointed a word out to him. “That one.” Henry gave him a quizzical look. “Are you sure? That’s hardly a name.” Victor looked up at him. “I know, but think about the meaning! It’s perfect!” Henry thought for a moment, then wrapped his arms around him with a smile. “With a bit of tweaking, I think you might be right,” he murmured, planting a kiss on his cheek. “You really do mean it, don’t you.” Victor glanced back at him. “Hm?” “You’ve really come to care for him, I mean,” Henry explained, releasing his grip. Victor hesitated, but then nodded. “I have - genuinely. I just… hope this will be enough to prove it.” “I’m sure it will be perfect.” Creature was sitting out near the edge of the ledge, resting his weight on his hands as he stared up at the stars as they glittered above. Victor took a deep breath as he stepped outside and breathed out slowly. You can do this. It’ll be fine, he thought to himself as he walked over as quietly as he could. He sat beside his creation, and tilted his head back to look upward as well. Creature turned his head slightly to look at him, then returned to his stargazing. “Agape,” Victor said suddenly. “...What?” Creature asked, once again looking over to him. Victor kept his eyes on the stars, but smiled slightly. “Do you know what it means?” Creature stared at him, thinking, then returned his gaze upward. “It is… Greek.” “That’s right.” He thought some more, racking his brain for memories of the word. “One of the… three Greek forms of love, correct?” Victor nodded. “Indeed.” He glanced away as he continued to think. “...If I recall correctly, it is considered the highest form of love. A deep, profound respect. Some define it as… the mutual love between God and man, and between man and God.” Victor’s smile grew - his creation’s intelligence still continued to amaze and fascinate him. “That is also correct. Though… I think I’d like to propose a more general definition.” Creature looked over at him. “What definition would that be?” Victor took a moment, then closed his eyes. “The mutual love between a creator at his creation, and between a creation and his creator.” Creature’s eyes widened, and for the sake of trying not to immediately shed a tear by thinking about that statement, he stared back up to the heavens. “That is… a definition I could approve of.” “How about a name?” “A… name?” “Is it a name you could approve of?” Victor reiterated, opening his eyes and looking over to see that Creature was now once again staring at him, though this time clearly not trying to hide the tears in his gleaming yellow eyes. His silence disturbed him, and he looked away. “...No, no nevermind - forget it. Forget it.” “Victor I,” Creature began, his voice soft and shaken. “That is so much more of a meaningful name than I could have ever imagined.” Victor glanced back at him. “Are you sure?” Creature nodded, smiling wide as tears streamed down his face. “I have scarcely been more sure.” Victor swallowed back tears of his own and smiled back to him. “Then consider it finalized, Agape.” He paused, then leaned forward and embraced him as tightly as he could. “Agape Frankenstein, my first and only…” he paused, thinking for a moment, then smiled contentedly, “son. My first and only son.” Agape didn’t know how to react at first - he was overwhelmed with so many emotions; relief, hope, joy. The most he could do was wrap his arms around his creator - his father - and finally take in what it really meant to be loved.

#frankenstein #frankenstein au #clervalstein #fanfiction #victor frankenstein #Henry clerval #the creature

[criminalmindsismynextfoundfamily]

Heyyyyy congratulations on 200!!!!! That’s amazing!!! I’ll do 🐬 and 🐳 both for hotch oops, and 💙 for (if I can use your example, I liked it haha) types of bread, 🦕 for CM season-long type characters, so like characters that were main characters, but weren’t on for very long, like Elle, Alex Blake, Kate Callahan, etc., 🦋 for JJ, and 💚 for what’s your favorite kind of weather and why?

I hope that wasn’t too many! If it was you can shorten it :) Congrats again, and I hope you have a great day! <3

thanks so much!!! it's not to much at all, I love answering asks 🥰

🐬: Send me a character and I’ll give you sad headcanons about them

Poor Hotch, all I do is make him sad...

Okay so we all know that Hotch's dad abused him. I think the tension we see between Hotch and Haley in the first couple seasons, about Hotch not being there for Jack, was 100% about Hotch's fear he was going to end up like his father. He subconsciously (or maybe consciously) distances himself from Jack at first because he's terrified of hurting this small fragile thing that they made, terrified of traumatizing Jack like his father did to him.

In revelations when Hotch asks the whole team to tell him his worst traits, he acts like he doesn't care, but I think their words stay with him for years. He repeats them in his head whenever he screws up, like a mantra to do better.

Hotch has long lasting damage to his ear after the explosion in Season 4. He didn't properly take care of it, or rest at all, so he definitely had some long lasting issues. Being deaf in one ear absolutely terrifies Hotch, when he was a kid he relied on his hearing to sense when his Dad was angry, and protect Sean. The first time someone effectively startles Hotch and comes up behind him without him noticing, it sends Hotch into a full blown panic attack.

🐳: Send me a character and I’ll give you happy headcannons about them

Okay I'll do happy headcannons related to the sad ones above, because hurt + comfort amirite

I think Haley and Hotch have similar dynamics to Penelope and Derek. When Derek says goodbye, Penelope says "You make me feel brave," and he responds, "You make me feel safe".

Hotch fell in love with Haley because she made him feel safe, even back in high school she would tenderly clean him up after a fight with his father. She was the first person he felt safe with. He and Haley eventually sit down and talk, Hotch confesses how scared he is of messing Jack up and Haley assures him that she knows he's a good father because he worries so much about messing up, "you worry because you care, silly".

After Mayhem, eventually the team figures out about Hotch's long term hearing loss, and do their best to help him out without making a big deal of it. Right after, JJ and Penelope will always leave him Advil on his desk after a case which they know has his ears ringing. In the field everyone always cover him on the side he has bad hearing. They all make sure to approach him so he can see them, or on his good hearing side so he can hear them. Spencer learns sign language and teaches it to Hotch. Hotch then teaches it to Jack, which catches on to Will and Henry as well, JJ learns for her kids, and eventually almost everyone on the team knows ASL.

🦕: Send me cm things and I’ll rank them

1. Elle Greenaway, I'm in love with her, and I feel like she was the only one they really showed having accurate trauma to the things they went through. I do have a problem with the glorification of her shooting the rapist, though. Obviously yes I don't really feel bad about her shooting a rapist, he's a rapist. But I'm not okay with it because of the power she held being a member of law enforcement, and how she abused that power and was allowed to quit without an investigation. Police brutality is never okay, even when it hurts the people we want to be hurt.

2. Kate Callahan, I loved her so much, she was such a badass and I loved her friendship with Morgan. She was an amazing mom, and I loved her goodbye hug to Hotch, he looks so touch starved smh

3. Alex Blake, she is so incredibly talented amazing, showstopping, intelligent. She's been through so much, and managed to keep a straight head, and even mentor Reid.

4. Stephen Walker, he deserved so much better I can't believe the writers did him like that.

🦋: Send me a cm character and I’ll tell you how I relate to them

I relate to JJ because I also lost someone close to me to suicide, and I think they handled that issue for her character really well. The guilt, the resurfacing memories of what things were up leading up to it, the realizations of all the things happening in their life you didn't know about.

💙: Send me a category and I’ll cast the bau ( I feel like that was confusing, but like I'll do bau as songs or like types of bread etc.)

okay I'm gonna do this in a separate post cause I think it'll get to long but I love this idea.

💚: Ask me anything about myself, and I’ll answer honestly

I love thunder storms, with super loud rain and wind and rumbling thunder. It's the most soothing weather to me and it puts me right to sleep. When I was younger my little brother was scared of thunder so he'd crawl into my bed and we'd stay up together so it brings me good memories. I also highly recommend lying on your back looking up at the sky during a thunder storm. It is so emotionally cathartic and a main character moment.

#sorry this was long #200 follower ask game #tw suicide mention #tw child abuse mention #tw police brutality mention

[thisdreamplace]

I had a nasty fight with my former bff. This was long ago. She did the whole 'boycotting me' thing at school and afterwards had a mutual friend pass her msg to me, saying "tell her [me] to get it into her skull that she's not the center of the world, who does she think she is? Stop acting like a #" Im simplifying the words, her actual words were nastier

I got thinking today abt this fight, and her comment abt me that is still way too fresh in my mind even tho I hadn't recalled it in 2-3 yrs!, and I actually decided to use the law to revise my friendship to feel better as what happened after the fight was shameful on my part. But before I knew it, I started rmmbring my relationship with her. How I became a total victim. Got so stuck on her validation, begged her to be friends with me (after I got the degrading msg. 🤕 silly me w/o a backbone lol) and stayed her 'bestie' for way too long. Only after it's all over im noticing smth messed up abt out 'feiendship'. It wasnf that normal I think. She would get so pissed if I did anything that went against her thoughts/beliefs/way (which is why she called me a selfish # that major fight). It was so subtle the way she showed her disapproval. To her, if I did anything not aligned with her, or even makih decisions on my own which didn't involve her, it was wrong. And had consequences like her beinf distant for days etc, or getting angry if I didn't mind read her bla bla, I just had to keep her at the top 24/7 and she expected everyone else to do the same... which I thought was normal... It wasnt. And what would be even more crazy is she never realized how that meant she always wanted the attention. That she always wanted it her way! It just makes me feel... Sad.... When I look back. How couldn't I have notived it before? I used to be strong headed, opinionated before I became 'besties' with her.. That all has changed. I wonder why -_-

It may be dumb on my part but with the weak mind and insecurity I had then, I took that fight/her reaction to the heart and internalisef this stupidiy (DENY MYSELF if the other alternative was denying HER. I didn't think it was wrong. For the oldme, it really wasn't wrong smh). Aaah I'm so sorry old me :(

This fight started bcoz she asked me for smth and I refused, instead of relenting like I always would, and I see now that her reaction (to me not being an obedient # to her ig?🤢) was basically her setting rules. It was wrong of me to refuse, yes, but why did she react that way? Why did this pattern continue? That everyone was selfish if they didn't think of her ;_; like how do u deal with this? And the icing is when I too started to defend her and make excuses for her all the time. And ik I'm making her out to be so strong, don't worry... I accept the strong only rule when the weak submit. And I was weak as hell, so its understandable this whole thing. I think 😅

Idk. I seen your posts abt eyipo with other anons so i hope u can tell me figure out what this was. Its clear to me she was projecting smth about me, and mb throughout our whole friendship she was projecting me. And I would think it was her hurting me, that she was right and I was wrong or maybe I did smth wrong. Mb I thought I deserved being punished that way?!

Today I suddenly had an aha moment and I realised... this is how a victim thinks. I didn't know I was a victim when I was living that stoey aka thought I was powerless. When in fact I really wasn't?! Haha still accepting I 555% created ALL that. The law can knock you out haha

Enough old story I just want to ask, what du u think the msg she sent to me was? Did I really deserve such a reaction (did I mention she included other girls in the boycot? 🤢) just for standing up for myself? What about the whole 'fight' aka showcase of power? And the entire yrs of being friends why did I never realize I was only hurting myself so much by putting her before me? And also, with the everyone pushed out thing, how did it fit in? Like why the hell did I give her too much power in validating me by giving in after the fight in the first place?, and while I did have some fun times (saying this so anyone else who reads this doesn't think it was pure torture lol. We had some common interests tyat no one else in the class shared when we first became 'friends'), deep down I was so unhappy so why didn't this reflect on her? I mean why didn't she ever sense just how much she'd hurt me, why didn't she see how much I put on the back burner coz of her?! Was it as she saw it as her right? I'm just so confused

This is still a bitter pill to swallow tbh but I have to face this in order to move on. This person and my life with her has left me wit many scars and I got to understand how I did this so I never attract such a person in my life again. Its not even abt bejnf a victim. As I said, these victimy things were subtle and I only noted them when it was too late and I was a shell, like she getting super pissed and disapproving if I had a differing opinion and me blowijg it out of proportion and tailoring my views or not expressing them so as to not feel the disapproval...thanks boycott conditioning ig? 😭 Aaaah even talking agaunst her rn is making me uncomfortable. Which makes me think I still am scared of her subconsciously even tho she's no longer in my life. Like, what in me made me choose her? I haven't healed, obviously by this ask as u can tell, but idk what is it in my self concept that had this whole thing in my past even happen

My friend, I also want to say I think you're a beautiful soul 🥺. And im sorry for the long ask lol. And I pray you'll always have all your desires. And plz, was it hard for u at first when u learned about u creating everything? The good, the bad, and the repulsive (like this story)? How did u get over old stories? Ty ty ty 😭

To begin with you're being really harsh on yourself. Like, I know it's hard, but it's never that serious. And trust me, this is something I have to remind myself of regularly. Because there have definitely been moments in life where I look back on myself in that moment, and I feel like I was pathetic and would slap myself if I could. But the truth is, there's just no need for any of that. We always did the best we could. We always did, period. We couldn't have done anything differently and this will continue to be true our entire lives. Looking back on the past with such overwhelming feelings, is really not needed. I get looking back to learn from it, but practice coming from a place of love and acceptance instead. It will help you grow, rather than get stuck back in this cycle of self-hate and confusion. Plus, you actually never need to analyze the past to grow but that's beyond the point right now.

To me, by reading your ask, the message she sent to you was clear. You feel you deserve less in life, you feel you're not good enough, you feel like a victim to life and others, you feel like you're not empowered or the operant power of your reality. It's not about her being wrong and you being right, and I get this is one of the hardest pills to swallow. Everyone is you pushed out. Therefore, there's simply no such thing as who is right and who is wrong anymore. It was only ever you.

When it comes to everyone is you pushed out, you have to understand this person isn't this way because that's who they are. They were that way because that's who you were. Inside of you, you brought their character to life. Therefore, the same way you are not stuck to such an undesirable self concept, neither is that person. It's not that you chose her and attracted her in. You were just dealing with yourself. That's what I hope you walk away from this response understanding. Because by thinking she was outside of you, you're missing the mark. And this is such an important concept to understand when it comes to the law of assumption, because it's really at the forefront of everything. People play such a huge role in our lives, whether it's relationships, jobs, opportunities, etc etc. So understanding how everyone is you pushed out actually works is extremely important.

So instead of putting all this blame on her or even putting the blame on yourself, all these memories really do is give you a glimpse into who you were at the time. It shows you the beliefs you held about yourself. It shows you what your self concept was. That's all it's doing. So in that way, there's actually no one to blame at all. I know it feels good to put blame, even when it's on yourself, but the truth is there's no room for blame when you learn about the law. You simply take responsibility and become empowered by the power you have held this entire time. And you practice making it work in your favor.

If you want to see how something was apart of your self concept, all you have to do is pay attention to what you are thinking/feeling. Shame, not being good enough, etc etc is all just stories you once held onto. Now you don't have to hold onto those stories anymore. Now that you know the power you hold, you get to make a new decision for yourself. Rather than ruminating of the painful past, allow it to be and know how that's not your story anymore.

Was it difficult for me to accept how I created everything? Yes and no. It's been a journey. While I could accept it logically, emotionally it was still very painful. Many times I wanted to cry and lash out when I felt alone and felt upset that no one was there for me. Although, I knew deep down it appeared that way because of my own concept of self. So yeah, it's been a journey. And it's honestly not always delightful. But this is the journey we have to take for the rest of our lives, so we might as well get used to practicing and applying these concepts. Instead of continuing to hold ourselves in such painful lights. I got through old stories, and I continue to get through old stories, by feeling all the pain that came up. By allowing myself to cry and feel however I felt like during those times. And in the back of my mind I knew I was getting stronger in my power. I knew how I would keep persisting once the pain subsided. And little by little, old stories fade more and more. That persistence to continue choosing better for yourself, is truly more powerful than it may seem in a difficult moment. Have trust in how it's all working out for you regardless.

Hopefully this is helpful! Thank you for your kind words. 💖

#eiypo

[slashingdisneypasta]

Horror / Six: The Musical AU (X Reader) || Headcanons

Explanation: So all the songs are being sun by different readers with different Henry’s (The Horror Villains of course) instead of one Henry. I think its pretty straight forward apart from that! I hope to make a second part to this where the readers actually meet up and complain about their times with their respective horror villains. This is fun XD Had the idea a couple months back and I posted it and one blog commented saying Six is their favourite musical, so this is basically for me and them haha XD 

Character Included: Michael Myers, Chucky / Charles Lee Ray (And Tiffany Valentine), Bubba Sawyer, Norman Bates, Mayor Buckman (And Harper Alexandre) and Jason Voorhees. 

Warnings: Murder of the readers (By respective Horror Villains and a non-explicit difficult birth in Bubba’s), birth / pregnancy, toxic / abusive relationships, sexual harrassment / maybe rape (All You Wanna Do- Buckmans), language, suggested mother / son grossness (Norman and Norma of course). 

I laugh in the face of those who would subdue my mad ideas. 

‘No Way’ (Reader as Catherine of Aragon): Michael Myers as Henry

My name's Catherine of Aragon Was married 24 years I'm a paragon of royalty, my loyalty is to the Vatican So if you try to dump me You won't try that again 

You were in a, of course, very unequal relationship with the shape of Haddonfield. He saw you one day, was completely taken by you, and decided to let you live. He would come by and use you however he liked, kill the people you loved when they got your attention over him, etc. Like any other Michael Myers x Reader.

And, years and years later (Because it’s not like Michael finds someone every day that he gives even a bit of a shit about like he does - did, - you) he comes upon a new person. Someone he, like he was you, is drawn to.

And he tries to drop you like a hot potato.

And this infuriates you. You are not about to let go! He has ruined your life! You have no friends, no family, no life, because of him! All you have, is (regrettably) him and you are going to be his for the rest of your life. That’s what he wanted, that’s what the bastard’s going to get.

(Many, many years with him has caused your courage against him to grow spectacularly. You can say nearly anything to him)

|- ‘You must agree that, baby, in all the time I been by your side

I've never lost control’

‘I've put up with your sh- like every single day’ -|

You give him one more chance- if he can tell you one thing that you have done to him to legitimately hurt him… then you’ll leave willingly.

…

But he has nothing. And he doesn’t care.

|- ‘You got me down on my knees

Please tell me what you think I've done wrong

Been humble, been loyal, I've tried to swallow my pride all along

If you can just explain a single thing

I've done to cause you pain, I'll go

No?’ -|

//

|- ‘You wanna replace me? Baby, there's

N-n-n-n-n-n-no way

You made me a wife, so I'll be queen 'til the end of my life’ -|

He ends up strangling you to death when you won’t shut up.

‘Don’t Lose Your Head’ (Reader as Anne Boleyn): Chucky / Charles Lee Ray as Henry (And Tiffany as Catherine of Aragon)

I'm that Boleyn girl and I'm up next See I broke England from the church Yeah, I'm that sexy Why did I lose my head? Well, my sleeves may be green but my lipstick's red 

Chucky and his filthy ass catches sight of you. Young, French and vivacious and he’s got heart eyes on the spot. He wants you, but he also doesn’t really want to lose Tiffany.

So... yeah, you end up living with them both for a while and its very awkward and a very hostile situation.

|- ‘Here we go

(You sent him kisses)

I didn't know I would move in with his misses

(What?)

Get a life

(You're living with his wife?)

Like, what was I meant to do?’ -|

You don’t like it. No one likes this. Chucky! Make up your mind!

|- ‘Three in the bed and the little one said

If you wanna be wed, make up your mind

Her or me, chum

Don't wanna be some

Girl in a threesome

Are you blind?’ -|

Tiffany is of course Catherine, and the fandom (The people of Britain for the sake of this AU) loves her (As we all know), so when you come along and insult her because Chucky is now your man (Supposedly.) and of course you two aren’t getting along with each other in the first place because of him … you get a bad name.

|- ‘Ooh, why hasn't it hit her?

He doesn't want to bang you

Somebody hang you

(Wow Anne, way to make the country hate you)

Mate, what was I meant to do?’ -|

When eventually Chucky is able to grow the balls to boot Tiffany out (My heart hurts writing this, trust me), he pulls a ‘Once a cheater, always a cheater’ kind of shit and has no loyalty to you or respect for the sanctity of your relationship, and starts having one night stands here, there and everywhere. He tries vaguely to tell you you’re being silly and that’s not true- but he has lipstick on his shirt collars and perfume smell all over him.

Its not a nice living condition.

So you, still very much being the vivacious bitch that he ‘fell in love with’, go and flirt with some other guys. Just to make him a teensy bit jealous! I mean, its not like he’ll really care, right? You just wanna spark the fire again!

|- ‘Henry's out every night on the town

Just sleeping around, like what the hell?

If that's how it's gonna be

Maybe I'll flirt with a guy or three

Just to make him jell’ -|

But he finds out as planned… and is p i s s e d. He threatens that if you do that again, he’ll fucking kill you.

You, not going to let him talk to you like that, flirt with one more man. Just to be disobedient. 

|- ‘Henry finds out and he goes mental

He screams and shouts

Like so judgemental

You damn that witch

Mate, just shut up

I wouldn't be such a b-

If you could get it up’ -|

And you find out that he very much meant it when he said he would kill you.

|- ‘And now he's going 'round like off with her head (No)

(No)

Yeah, I'm pretty sure he means it’ -|

‘Heart of Stone’ (Reader as Jane Seymour): Bubba Sawyer as Henry

Jane Seymour the only one he truly loved (Rude) When my son was newly born, I died But I'm not what I seem or am I? Stick around and you'll suddenly see more 

You were an intended victim of the Sawyers, but like with Stretch, Bubba crushes on you instead. The difference here, is that you see the gentleness to him compared to his brothers, and how scared he is when one of them yells at him, and all the other little signs that he’s not as vicious or evil as his first impressions might convey. You have a big, brave heart, and you realise right there that its death and cannibalisation or understanding and caring for this man and you choose to love.

|- ‘You came my way, and I knew a storm could come too.’-|

//

|- ‘You've got a good heart

But I know it changes

A restless tide, untameable’ -|

So you take his hands in yours, all shaky and meaty as they are, and promise him that you will never leave him. You’ll protect him. You’ll take any mess he and his family can throw at you- you’ll always be with him. Your promise.

|- ‘But I took your hand, promised I'd withstand

Any blaze you blew my way

'Cause something inside, it solidified

And I knew I'd always stay’ -|

And he believes you, of course. Its so nice to be looked at so softly, especially by someone as pretty as you.

I- ‘You can build me up, you can tear me down

You can try but I'm unbreakable

You can do your best, but I'll stand the test

You'll find that I'm unshakeable

When the fire's burnt

When the wind has blown

When the water's dried, you'll still find stone

My heart of stone’ -|

And you prove yourself. You prove over and over again that no matter what he, or the twins, or Drayton, or even Grandpa throws at you- you’ll survive and you’ll stay, and you’ll never stop looking at him in that lovely soft way.

|- ‘You say we're perfect

A perfect family’ -|

You get pregnant of course because everyone in the Sawyers / Hewitts family has a breeding kink and you can’t tell me otherwise, and the birth is of course very difficult because Drayton isn’t about to pay for hospital bills. So you’re in their home, in all the mess and the dirt and with no sort of aesthetic, and…

|- ‘Soon I'll have to go

I'll never see him grow’  -|

You don’t make it. Your babies born fine and healthy, and you bring another strong Sawyer boy to the family, but you’re gone.

‘Get Down’ (Reader as Anne of Cleves): Norman Bates as Henry

Ich bin Anne of Cleves Ja! When he saw my portrait, he was like Ja! But I didn't look as good as good as I did in my pic Funny how we all discuss that but never Henry's little- 

So, one day, Norman decides its time to properly settle down (Long after his mother… ah… ‘dies’) and get a partner, and because there isn’t really anyone around where he lives to date or, even, who wouldn’t get creeped out by him and his taxidermy, he turns to online dating.

He meets you there. You own and run your own hotel in the next state over, you don’t mind his taxidermy at all, and your profile picture looks… hauntingly familiar (If you look nothing like Vera Farmiga go by the original movie- she was but a skeleton there so she really could be anyone).

|- ‘Sittin' here all alone

On a throne

In a palace that I happen to own

I'm not fake 'cause I've got acres and acres

Paid for with my own riches’ -|

And you two get along great over messages! You online date for a good year before Norman proposes you elope and come to live with him! You think you’ve known him long enough, and you trust him!

So you fly right over, and he meets you at the airport, and…

He’s disappointed.

Like, ‘sorry, nah, you don’t look enough like mama so this isn’t gonna work’. In a more fidgety, quiet, subdued kind of way though. He’s so awkward with communication that he even suggests that you doctored your profile picture.

I- ‘You, you said that I tricked ya

'Cause I, I didn't look like my profile picture’ -|

And, understandably, you’re p i s s e d, and disgusted! But ya’ll already got married over the internet, so theirs no stopping that! This is your husband. You realise you’ve made a huge mistake and go right back to your home and your hotel to get divorce papers drawn up.  

You’re the queen of your own fucking castle, who needs him?

|- ‘I'm the queen of the castle

Get down, you dirty rascal

'Cause I'm the queen of the castle’ -|

You are understandably, very very mad. And you say some things to Norman about he and his mother, that… may be true… but that he certainly doesn’t appreciate.

When you finally get the papers, and you’ve been separated long enough for it to be legal, you go back to the Bates Motel to get Norman to sign them and stay over a night. You’ve calmed down enough that you’re able to have a pleasant conversation with him, and you decide that you’re too tired to take the plane back home right away so you take up Normans offer to stay in one of vacant rooms (*Cough* So you basically have the run of the place. Or they do. *Cough).

Norman is also pretty calm about the whole thing as well, like you! But… Norma, is still seething.

You don’t wake up the next morning.  

‘All You Wanna Do’ (Reader as Kathrine Howard): Mayor Buckman as Henry (And Harper as Thomas)

Prick up your ears, I'm the Catherine who lost her head (Beheaded) For my promiscuity outside of wed Lock up your husbands Lock up your sons K. Howard is here and the fun's begun 

Right, so, you haven’t had good luck in love throughout your life, so you decide to give up on boys entirely. 

|- ‘So I decided to have a break from boys

And you'll never guess who I met’ -|

… And meet a man, not much later. A man in power; A mayor. A man who’s been married before and has a beard (So you know; He’s a man. XD No little boy.). This is of course Buckman. He calls you love, and you get a job in Pleasant Valley that keeps you comfortably busy. You feel like, finally, you’re where you belong. You feel fulfilled- no committed relationships are necessary.

|- ‘Globally revered

Although you wouldn't know it from the look of that beard

Made me a lady in waiting

Hurled me and my family up in the world

Gave me duties in court and he swears it's true

That without me, he doesn't know what he'd do

He cares so much, he calls me love’ -|

But then Buckman tells you that he cares about you. You have a connection. He doesn’t feel just ‘friendly’ feelings towards you- he wants more. And, though you are a little disappointed that your solitude didn’t last, you decide that he’s decent enough (’He is rather kind to me, and he does makes me smile a fair bit’, you try to reason with yourself that this is a good idea) and so you start to go out. Its not long before you’re married.

|- ‘So we got married Woo…’

Woo…’ -|

But being married to him isn’t easy. Not at all. You’re not use to politics; There are so many rules now, and he’s always too busy to help. And the rest for Pleasant Valley are a bit… odd. And you just don’t fit in. And this is wear Harper (Thomas) comes in.

|- ‘With Henry, it isn't easy

His temper's short, and his mates are sleazy

Except for this one courtier

He's a really nice guy, just so sincere

The royal life isn't what I planned

But Thomas is there to lend a helping hand

So sweet, makes sure that I'm okay

And we hang out loads when the King's away’ -|

And he’s so lovely and caring towards you (Never more then when Buckman leaves for business in other towns), helping you through the transition from your old life to this one. He’s a good friend, to you. And that is most definitely all he is, on your side of it. A friend. You don’t feel attractions towards him at all apart from that, and he doesn’t try to make any moves. Its wonderful!

|- ‘This guy, finally

Is what I want, the friend I need

Just mates, no chemistry

I get him and he gets me’ -|

… Until one day when Buckman has been away for a month, he tells you he cares about you. You have a connection. He doesn’t feel just ‘friendly’ feelings towards you- he wants more.

|- ‘He says we have a connection

I thought this time was different

Why did I think he'd be different?

But it's never, ever different’ -|

Lets just say one things leads to another, despite you at first turning him away and saying no. He’s so insistent, and a little scary, and you’re lonely because your husbands’ has been away so long, and… something happens that you regret and feel gross about.

|- ‘Squeeze me, don't care if you don't please me

Bite my lip and pull my hair

As you tell me, I'm the fairest of the fair

Playtime's over.’ -|

You tell Buckman when he gets home, and you watch as every bit of warmth and love in his eye disappears, just like that.

Its not long after that that his jealousy and betrayed rage takes over… and… you die with a rope around your neck and your feet swaying above the ground.

|- ‘Playtime’s over’ -|

(Alternatively, Sheriff Hoyt as Henry and Thomas as Thomas)

‘I Don’t Need Your Love’ (Reader as Catherine Parr): Jason Voorhees as Henry (Your last love was Jason when he was alive)

Five down, I'm the final wife I saw him to the end of his life I'm the survivor Catherine Parr I bet you wanna know how I got this far I said I bet you wanna know how we got this far Do you wanna know how we got this far then? 

So, you’re like the leader of the ‘Slashers Ex Squad’ because you, unlike the others, survived your time with Jason. This is because Jason did, truly, love you (To an extent- not enough to let you go and live your life without him or be free). None of the others really did. Not like he did.

|- ‘Became the one who survived’ -|

Your story:

You and Jason had an adorable little 11-year-old puppy love relationship when he was alive. You were his only friend, and he had it bad for you because of it. Pamela loved you, too.

When he died you were of course devastated, and years later when you were 30 (Making him also thirty- not that you know that. You still think he’s dead at this point) you’re taken by the need to go back to Camp Crystal Lake and pay your respects to your childhood love / friend. Its just one of those nostalgic days.

When you go, and you set flowers down by the lake, Jason catches sight of you. He thinks about killing you… but then your features start to make sense to him. He recognises you, and for the first time since his mother was killed, he feels his heartbeat speed up and swell with hope.

Jason of course kidnaps you then, and keeps you hostage for himself. He missed you. He doesn’t want to survive anymore time without you. You’re all he has left!

… After you realise that this is Jason Voorhees, you quickly learn that this Jason is, of course, not the boy that you cared, and care, so deeply about. He’s done horrible things, and he is never going to stop; And frankly, deep inside… he scares you.

But its not like you can leave him! He would never let you, he’s made that clear. You are all he has, and now, he is all that you have.

|- ‘I don't have a choice

If Henry says "it's you", then it's you

No matter how I feel

It's what I have to do’ -|

So you write a letter to the old Jason (And your old life), saying goodbye, in admittance to the fact that you’ll never be able to get away from this new Jason. This is you letting go of your freedom and any preconceptions that anything will every be the same- with Jason, or otherwise.

|- ‘It's true I'll never be over you 'Cause I have built a future in my mind with you And now the hope is gone There's nothing left for me to do’

'Cause I have built a future in my mind with you

And now the hope is gone

There's nothing left for me to do’ -|

You never stop hating him for how he’s changed (How he’s taken your Jason away, and wont even attempt to go back) and how he’s stolen away your freedom.

|- ‘I'd say "Henry, yeah it's true

I'll never belong to you

'Cause I am not your toy, to enjoy till there's something new

As if I'm gonna give up my boy, my work, my dreams

To care for you"

"Ha, darling, get a clue”

But I can't say that

Not to the king’ -|

You eventually die of natural causes at, like, 60.

#Horror Villains x Reader #Horror / Six: The Musical AU #Horror #Horror Villains #Six: The Musical #Jason Voorhees x Reader #Jason Voorhees #Mayor Buckman x Reader #Mayor Buckman #Norman Bates x Reader #Norman Bates #Bubba Sawyer x Reader #Bubba Sawyer #Chucky #Chucky x Reader #Charles Lee Ray x Reader #Charles lee Ray #Tiffany Valentine #Harper Alexandre #Michael Myers #Michael Myers x Reader #Headcanons

[lilydalexf]

Old School X is a project interviewing X-Files fanfic authors who were posting fic during the original run of the show. New interviews are posted every Tuesday.

Interview with Piper Sargasso

Piper Sargasso has 25 stories at Gossamer, but don’t miss her website where the fics each have cover collage art. If you are a fan of Mulder/Scully romance, there are a lot of MSR fics to read that are set in different seasons of the show. But like the show that never stuck to one type of story, Piper’s stories have variety, so you can also find AUs and /Other.  Big thanks to Piper for doing this interview.

Does it surprise you that people are still interested in reading your X-Files fanfics and others that were posted during the original run of the show (1993-2002)?

It does, but I love that people are still into it! Writers back in the day put so much work and love into their writing, and it's nice to know that the stories are still being appreciated to this day. As for my own stories, it puts a huge smile on my face to know there are still people out there checking them out and hopefully enjoying them.

What do you think of when you think about your X-Files fandom experience? What did you take away from it?

It was such a positive period of my life. I made some amazing friends who became something like older sisters (and some brothers) to me, even though I was a little ridiculous when I was in my early to mid-twenties. It was also a much-needed confidence booster. I was a pretty shy person and loved writing, but never had the nerve to show anything to anyone. My first fanfic was completely horrible, but because of it I made my first XF friend and super beta, Mimic117. Between her guidance and the encouraging words from my Yahoo group I was able to do something I really loved and felt great about myself and my abilities for the first time. That will stay with me forever. That first story was truly atrocious, but it was a catalyst for great things in my life when I needed them the most.

Social media didn't really exist during the show's original run. How were you most involved with the X-Files online (atxc, message board, email mailing list, etc.)?

I remember trying this cool new thing called an AOL chat room, but they were more interested in perving on each other than talking about the show. Once I knew about fanfiction I kept seeing that some of my favorite authors kept mentioning IWTBXF in their notes, a Yahoo group named I Want to Believe. I looked it up, joined, and with great trepidation made my introductory post. Everyone was so warm and welcoming, and talking to my favorite authors in the group was a little like meeting a celebrity and finding out that they're awesome in real life. After IWTBXF fell apart, an off-shoot called Beyond the Sea was created with almost all of the original group transferring over. I stuck to my little family there and didn't branch out into much else, other than the rare dip into Haven. Ephemeral and Gossamer, of course.

What did you take away from your experience with X-Files fic or with the fandom in general?

Mostly the overwhelming feeling of acceptance and confidence to write, something I was sorely lacking before in my life. I fell in with the best group, that's for sure! They made me feel like being a professional writer could be an achievable goal.

What was it that got you hooked on the X-Files as a show?

The commercial advertising. The pilot spoke to my supernatural-loving, angsty 15 year-old soul. I watched it religiously every week. There was nothing like it. It was off-beat, but serious (most of the time) and fulfilled my insatiable craving for the paranormal and weird. You just couldn't get that from Melrose Place and Beavis and Butthead, you know? It definitely helped that David Duchovny was adorable and the character of Scully was the strong and intelligent icon we needed in the 90's and beyond.

What got you involved with X-Files fanfic?

In high school I had a friend who was as obsessed with the show as I was. Maybe more, since she once had a slumber party that was exclusively to binge watch her taped episodes (the other girls who wanted to mess around with spells and the Ouija board weren't thrilled that she couldn't be swayed away from it) and she often drove me from play rehearsals in her convertible with the top down and the theme song blasting to the heavens, much to my delight and mortification. A couple years after we graduated she told me about the piece of fanfic she wrote. Insert a record screech here. What?! You mean there are thousands of stories dedicated to my favorite show? And hundreds more get added every month?! I was obsessed. If I could've stopped working and slept at my computer desk I would have.

What is your relationship like now to X-Files fandom?

Sadly it's nonexistent these days. I have great memories and it holds a big piece of my heart, but I haven't been active in a long time. I would love to see a huge revival, and would definitely want to be involved in that in some way, were it to happen.

Were you involved with any fandoms after the X-Files? If so, what was it like compared to X-Files?

I read a lot of Harry Potter fanfiction for a while, but I never could expend the kind of energy and time I did for the X-Files fandom. It came at a perfect time in my life, and so far nothing else has measured up to it.

Who are some of your favorite fictional characters? Why?

Besides XF characters? Off the top of my head I really love Hermione Granger, Buffy Summers, Elizabeth Bennet, and Claire Fraser for their sass and strength of character, Severus Snape for his complexity, and Christina Ricci's version of Wednesday Addams for her pure awesomeness. She's pretty much my spirit animal.

Do you ever still watch The X-Files or think about Mulder and Scully?

I do occasionally. I watched the series from season 1-7 so many times that I started to burn out, but I get on my X-Files kicks sometimes and binge it again.

Do you ever still read X-Files fic? Fic in another fandom?

Like with the show, I'll get nostalgic and need to consume all the fanfics my greedy little eyes can behold until I move on to something else. It can feel a little lonely though, if you'll excuse the drama. We're not in the heyday anymore, so it feels a little like walking through a ghost town. Many of the stories out there are suspended in time because the show ended, or people stopped writing.

Do you have any favorite X-Files fanfic stories or authors?

I know I have dozens, but I'm drawing a blank. My ultimate favorite is any well-written MSR casefile with UST finally resulting in RST. Those are my unicorns!

What is your favorite of your own fics, X-Files and/or otherwise?

I have a silly one called Baby, It's Cold Outside that I sometimes read around Christmastime. It was a fluffy song-fic, but I can see the scene so clearly in my mind when I read it and it's just pure fun. I also like my Donnie Pfaster series. I can see the potential in my writing with those, which makes me feel I could really write something special someday. Plus, he's such an interesting little slimeball to write and read about. Bless his heart.

Do you think you'll ever write another X-Files story? Or dust off and post an oldie that for whatever reason never made it online?

I still think about the two WIPs I haven't finished. I wrote myself into a corner with This Mortal Coil, and honestly I think it needs a total overhaul. I think Dana Scully's Diary would be a fun one to finish. I hate that I never finished them.

Do you still write fic now? Or other creative work?

I think about writing fanfic now and then and I've had a couple original novels sketched out, but there are so many other demands on my time that I haven't gotten very far. I still plan to see the novels through, even if no one but interested friends and family read them.  

Where do you get ideas for stories?

I used to watch an episode and really study the actors' expressions and actions, always trying to find new angles to the stories we all know. A lot of times things would just come to me and I'd get so excited I couldn't sleep until I wrote a good chunk of it down.

What's the story behind your pen name?

The friend who introduced me to fanfic told me the best way to choose a pen name was to make sure it derives from the show. For a couple days I looked at the titles and summaries of episodes and agonized over just the right name. Finally Piper Maru and the summary from Triangle, which mentions the Sargasso sea, stood out and just clicked.

Do your friends and family know about your fic and, if so, what have been their reactions?

My now husband always knew, and he thought it was cool that I had a hobby that made me so happy, but he was never a reader. My parents found out when I was about 24 and my step-dad would tell EVERYONE about it, much to my horror. Most reactions were of the bland, "Oh yeah? That's nice." variety but I definitely got some weird looks from others. The worst was when I found out how much of my racier MSR stories my parents read. My step-dad thought it was hilarious and teased me a little. My usually open-minded mom was uncomfortable, but tried to be supportive. It's all fun and games until your daughter starts writing psuedo-erotica for anyone to see!

Is there a place online (tumblr, twitter, AO3, etc.) where people can find you and/or your stories now?

Circe Invidiosa very generously hosts a page for me at http://pipers.invidiosa.com.

(Posted by Lilydale on January 26, 2021)

#new post #old school x #xfiles fanfic #xf fanfic #xf fanfic author interviews #piper sargasso

[ravenforce]

Stark Legacy III

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Carol Danvers x Wanda Maximoff x Maria Hill x Reader

Word Count: 2869

A/N: Oh gosh. I’m so sorry I haven’t been updated a lot of fics recently. There’s no excuse except that Animal Crossing New Horizon is taking up so much of my time but I am working on being more productive. Also, it doesn’t help that somehow I can’t seem to come to terms with this chapter. I feel like everything I write is shit. That’s why I’m trying to let the creative energy blockage to pass. I hope you guys like this chapter. Stay safe. xx

Parts: 1 | 2  | 4  | 5 | 6

***

After a week of poking and prodding at the Avengers compound, Fury finally agreed to let you stay off-site. Not that he has any say on your decision, anyway. He’s not the boss of you. You knew it will only cause more valuable time to be wasted if you resist, you compromised by letting Happy be assigned to you. The same way he was assigned to the handle Spider-man before. You felt like a child, it was ridiculous.

“Are you sure you don’t want to take back your position in the office?” Pepper asked as she enters the living room where you’ve been watching the city from its floor-to-ceiling windows. Happy drove you directly to Stark Tower, which Pepper handed the keys back to you. It’s now the Avengers Tower but technically it is still owned by Stark Industries. Thus, still owned by you, Pepper and Morgan.

You took a minute looking out the view before turning back towards your sister-in-law. You walked towards her at the centre of the room and gave her arms a squeeze. “Stark Industries is better off in your hands, P.”

She smiled at you before pulling you into a hug for the nth time since she found out that you’re alive.

“What are you gonna do?” Before you can answer, the door to the penthouse and came walking in is Happy with a beautiful little girl in tow.

“Hey,” Happy greeted. “Sorry, we’re a bit late. Someone made one too many stops at the labs.”

Pepper beckoned the girl over, and immediately she took her mother’s hand. “Morgan, I’d like you to meet somebody.” Morgan took one look at you. A look of recognition passes on her face before she let go of Pepper’s hand to run towards you. She came barreling to your leg.

“Hey,” you greeted while running your hand over her soft hair. You look at Pepper with a questioning look.

“Morgan, do you know who this is?” Morgan pulled away from where she’s perched on your leg and look back at Pepper.

“Yes, mom. She’s Y/N Stark. Daddy’s baby sister.” She turned back to you with a smile.

You crouched down in front of her. You offered her your hand to shake but Morgan had another idea. She threw her arms around your neck and nearly tackled you down in a tight hug. You chuckled. “It’s nice to finally meet you, Morgan Stark.”

She giggled and pulled away. “You’re a silly humanoid.”

Everyone stopped and stared at the little girl. Pepper recovered first. “Sweetheart, how’d you know that word?” She asked. Morgan only looked at you before running her hand over where your ball-joints are connected.

“Dad told me everything.” You rolled your eyes internally at your brother, wherever he is. “I’m not sure how it worked but Dad said you’re the best sister ever, and that when you wake up, you’ll be the best aunt too.”

That got you down on your ass on the floor. You can’t cry, not really but at that moment, had you been human, you would’ve been crying your eyes out. Suddenly, sitting there on the floor with your brother’s offspring in front of you, you were overcome with so much grief. Life wasn’t fair.

Why did your brother have to die, and you, survive? He had more to live for than you. He has a wife. He has a daughter. He was happy. He deserved to live, too.

Morgan cupped your face. She must have seen through your robotic face. “It’s okay Y/N. We’ll be okay.”

You blinked twice at her before nodding. She’s an intuitive, emphatic kid. She is really Pepper and Tony’s daughter. No question about that. Then Morgan started chewing at her bottom lip.

“What’s wrong?”

“I just…” she paused. She looked unsure of what to ask or how to ask her question. So, you run your hand through her hair and assured her that she could ask you anything. “…uhm. I just want to know how your body is operating? Is F.R.I.D.A.Y installed in your core? Or was it J.A.R.V.I.S?”

“Morgan!” Pepper admonished, and for Morgan’s part, she looked sheepish. You can only gape at your eight-years-old niece for a minute. She truly is a Stark and one that hanged out with her dad too much, apparently.

“Well, right now there’s no AI installed in this body but I’m planning to put one on my own. Maybe you could help me name it when it’s done?”

Morgan grinned before launching in a barrage of questions, only child geniuses could ask at that age.

“Excuse me, Y/N.” Pepper cut in through your nerd conversation with Morgan. “Do you mind if I use the kitchen to make us dinner? I don’t think the little one would want to leave soon.”

“Knock yourself out. Happy stocked up before we arrived.” That’s all the answer Pepper got before you and Morgan moved from the floor to your new bedroom to continue geeking out about your robotics.

Happy sidled up to the blonde as they watch you two happily chatting. “It’s a match made in heaven,” Happy teased; earning a soft chuckle from Pepper.

“Yeah. Finally, someone who can keep up with her.”

Morgan and Pepper are really close but Pepper suspects that Morgan misses having someone geeky in the house that can talk to her about engineering, robotics, science, history, etc.

***

Morgan and Pepper stayed for two nights in the tower. You wished they could have stayed longer but Morgan has school but Pepper promised they’ll be back every weekend. Without Morgan in the house, it’s far too quiet even with Happy around. Speaking of the man, you found him after your shower, lounging at the bar over some S.H.I.E.L.D folders. 

“Busy?” you asked as you went to the coffee machine by instinct. Happy watched you freeze for a moment but he didn’t say anything. He understood that you’re still coping with your new normal.

“Nope. Why?” He closed all his open folders but left them on the counter. 

You turned towards him with a smile. “Great. I need your help.” 

When you said you needed his help. He thought maybe you needed help where he can use his talents as an agent but instead he found himself dusting around Tony’s old on-site lab. It looks exactly the same as the last time Tony used it. Not a single furniture and equipment out of place. It was nostalgic and bittersweet to be there again. 

“Ugh!” He groaned after putting one more box in the storage room. You looked at your friend as he sweats through his shirt and stretches his back. 

“Tired already?” You asked in a teasing voice. 

“My back is killing me, and aren’t you?” You laughed and he turned to look at you. For a minute he forgot you are not exactly human anymore. A few nights ago you mentioned, post-human, and he thought it was quite a fitting classification. He decided that’s what he’s gonna use from then on.

“Actually, I can do this all day.” Happy rolled his eyes at you before giving you the finger. You laughed hard before you walked towards him.

“Sit down. Let the one who can’t get backaches do the heavy lifting.” He can hear the joy in your voice as you continue to tease him of his fragility. You handed him your new tablet, while you started carrying the rest of the boxes into storage. 

“What am I supposed to do with this?”

You stopped and chuckled. You pulled out a folded paper from your pocket. It’s a list of equipment and materials. “Please, purchase everything on that list. You can find most of them from Stark Industries. The rest you can outsource on Amazon.” 

Happy looked at the list and started putting everything in your cart. “Are you building something?”

You dusted your hand and locked the storage room. You plopped down on Tony’s couch and looked at Happy as he concentrates on finding the right items with the right specs for you. 

“Yes.” When no other word from you was forthcoming, he looked up at you. You can see the question in his eyes but before he can voice it out, you threw him a rolled-up parchment. He barely caught it and he glared at you. When he opened it, his eyes almost popped out of its socket. 

“Y/N.” He pause to consider what this little project means.  

“You’re not?” he broke off in the middle. 

“I am.” 

***

The dream team is spending their much deserved weekend off after being away for a month-long mission in Hungary. Usually, they would spend their weekend at home after long missions but they’ve been coup up in the safe house for a month and had only been going out on surveillance twice in every week. So, to change things up a little bit, they found themselves out on a bustling Saturday night. The plan was simple: have dinner on Wanda and Carol’s restaurant of choice, and maybe a walk along the park to aid their digestion.

“Oh, this is so good,” Carol nearly moaned after taking her first bite on the strawberry shortcake they ordered for dessert.

“I’m really glad we’re able to do this.” They all smiled at Wanda before Nat reached out and wipe the icing that stuck on the side of her lips. Wanda blushed. After all this time, Natasha still makes her flush like crazy, and it doesn’t help that she’s the smoothest out of all of them. Except with you, that is.

It’s an observation she gathered from the handful of times they’ve interacted with you in the HQ. Even Carol and Maria agrees that Nat is uncharacteristically a mess whenever you’re around. It’s a topic they have yet the time, and the energy to breach with the redhead.

“To us.” Maria raised her glass and everybody promptly clinked their glasses together. Not a minute after, the sound of sirens was heard along the street. They looked at each other before pulling out their phones, and they were shocked to see multiple miscalls from HQ.

“Shit.” They groaned collectively but before they can even think to stand and bolt, another restaurant patron yelled.

“Missile!”

It’s like time stood still. Even with years of work and training, they were rendered frozen and rooted in place, waiting for the inevitable to hit. After Thanos, they all had to undergo mandatory therapy for PTSD. Nat and Wanda went because losing Clint and Vision still haunts their dreams, Maria for being dusted herself, and Carol for stress management.

***

“Ms Stark that missile is heading straight for Agent Hill, Danvers, Romanoff, and Maximoff.”

“What?” You yelled at your newly developed AI before putting more speed to catch the missile. You can see the four idiots just standing there frozen. You caught glimpse of the missile timer, and you thought you’re not gonna make it into the stratosphere before it explodes. So, you raced ahead of it and triggered one of your suit’s new feature: electromagnet shield before it exploded in your chest.

***

Maria squinted as they watch the missile approached their location. Something else is flying towards them. Something she can’t put a finger on but oh so familiar.

“Is that - ” She wasn’t able to finish the question before Carol and Natasha were tackling her and Wanda on the ground. Then the missile exploded.

***

For a minute, there’s a ringing in their ear, and they were severely disoriented. Carol and Natasha rolled away from their girlfriends and laid their back, feeling the cold, concrete floor. They tried to blink rapidly to clear the white spots that are floating around their vision. Maria was the first to sit up, followed by Carol, then Natasha and Wanda. They looked at each other, making sure everyone was unharmed. 

“What just happened?” Carol asked, with her hand outstretched to help everyone up. 

Wanda was quiet for a moment before she was running towards the balcony, where a few customers are gathered around the mouth of the restaurant, hovering around something. Before they could question her what’s up, she just jumped out of the balcony instead of using the stairs like a normal person. 

“Shit. What now?” Nat followed Wanda over the balcony and landed gracefully at the sidewalk. Carol floated down on her Captain Marvel suit, while Maria exited the establishment through the front door. She walked towards the crowd and whipped out her badge to clear the bystanders. Carol, Nat, and Wanda helped to make a perimeter, so their girlfriend can assess the situation. 

When they saw what it is, they were frozen for the second time around that night. 

“Who is that? Is that RESCUE? Is she gonna be okay?”

An onslaught of questions was thrown to them but they have absolutely no clue how to answer. The suit does look a little like Pepper’s RESCUE but instead of blue and white, this one is pure black. The helmet is unmistakably Iron Man’s original design. 

“It’s Y/N,” Wanda whispered as she and Carol crowd over your body to shield you from everyone’s view. Maria is frantically typing on her phone, asking for a pickup team on their location ASAP. Nat’s crouched down and poking at your helmet. 

“The blast must have knocked her out.” Another poke to the helmet.

“Stop poking me, Agent Romanoff. It’s a rude way to say thanks.” She startled when she heard your voice before the lights on your helmet came back on. She stood up and sidled with Maria. Captain Marvel offered her hand and you took it. 

“Thank you.” 

“No, thank you for saving us back there.” You opted to nod at the Captain since she can’t see you smile and you don’t want to retract your helmet and expose yourself. You hovered over the ground and looked behind them.

Nat caught the action, as small as it. “We’re attracting too much attention. Meet us back at the HQ.”

“The tower is closer.” They all turned to Maria for consent and she freely gave it. 

Before you can fly off, a young boy yelled. “Hey! Are you RESCUE?” 

You hovered back down and crouched in front of him. “No, I’m not but we’re friends.”

“What’s your name then?”

“I’m Phantom.” You pinched the boy’s cheeks before flying back to the tower. You looked back and saw him smiling and waving at you.

#avengers imagine #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanov x reader #natasha romanova x reader #natalie rushman x reader #black widow x reader #carol danvers x reader #captain marvel x reader #wanda maximoff x reader #scarlett witch x reader #maria hill x reader #carolnat x reader x wandahill #unholy pentagon #natasha romanoff imagine #black widow imagine #carol danvers imagine #captain marvel imagine #wanda maximoff imagine #scarlett witch imagine #maria hill imagine