You don't forget the face of the person who was your last hope.
- The Hunger Games
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Four more gifs and… Peter, what the fuck are you doing…? 🤦🏻♀️🤣🤣🤣
For a second there I thought we would need to call the Burgermeister to seal off the castle grounds… 😅
His body twisting and turning in a thousand ways… yep, it fits the description… 🤣
Ya think, Peter? Really? Ok, let’s forget about all this… 🤦🏻♀️😅
As I was saying before, four more gifs and some more Peterness…
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08/17/23
I live a very solitary life, weekends are the best because I have an excuse to drink and go to shows and such. I went last night and a little after getting there, my friend asked me if I would go sit in my car for a bit. He invited someone that doesn't really like me and didn't want any issues to come of it. I did and I pretended I was okay, but then he said that the person did show up and it'd be best if I left. Again, I didn't put up a fight, I just went to my favorite bar for a beer or two. What I haven't told anyone is that I cried the entire way to the bar. Then again when I got home. A few more times today and right now as I'm typing this. I didn't expect it to hurt so much. It shouldn't, I don't think. It's my fault the person hates me, but it just made me feel so unwanted at one of the only places I truly enjoy myself anymore. I've been trying to avoid thinking about it but idk what to do with my weekends anymore. I can't go there again, if the same thing happened twice I might just have a breakdown then and there. I'm not sure what I should do other than anything to take my mind off of it.
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Dear Yellow,
I’m not sure if we were ever possible or if we ever could be. I fear I’ll be long gone before you’re ready to commit to trying anything like what I want. I don’t blame you for this. I see you. You aren’t ready. You need work and you’re smart enough to see that. Perhaps if we weren’t always on a clock.
In the end, I’m sorry to say I am not in love with you. You’ll feel a little better knowing I’m not in love with anyone else either, I hope. I do love you, though. With whatever pieces of my heart I’ve managed to find, forever.
I wouldn’t dream of telling you how you feel. Though, this is my story, so I’ll do my best to show you what I see.
You aren’t in love with me, either. Whether or not you were before, I’ve decided to believe that you were. I can never 100% know, so why not just side with the happier past? Now? You’re too busy looking inward to fall in love with anyone on the outside. I love this for you, never stop this. It’s how you fall in love with yourself. It’s how I fell in love with myself. I told a friend recently that I hate myself. That isn’t true. I hate the way I think people see me. I’ve come to realize this way of thinking has always been false. After that, I was able to just see myself. If you have really ever loved me, then know that I see it too, what you saw. What very little people in my life has seen. The parts of me worth loving.
I know I’m gone and I know that’s my fault, but know I’m just as sad about the decision as you are. I don’t know what broke inside of me or when or where, but I am broken and no amount of tape or glue can fix it. What I want, what I need...what I’ve asked of you is a fairy tale. It IS too much to ask, from anyone. No matter how healthy they are or how much they are able to take, I don’t think it’s possible to reach the parts of me that are broken. So how could anyone even dream of fixing them?
Now that you’ve got the honey, here’ve the vinegar. You’re mean to me. Mean and unfair. There’s no other way to describe it. It isn’t the reason I’m gone, not even close, but it is a reality. I try my best to be good for you. I try my best to see the good in you. And I do. And I believe I can help, but you want to handle it alone. I understand. I did the exact same thing. I’m sorry I didn’t have the patience to wait.
What I see for us: You move in and make a wreck of my room. You’d do it slowly, because you have this misconception that I’m a neat freak. I’d secretly make the mess into an organized mess, but you’d never know the difference. You’d struggle with adapting to me. My life is much to stable, much to normal for you. I’d hope to have the patience and skills to deal with it, but I’d no doubt stumble and faulter along the way. The sex would be amazing and only get better over time. We’d start to get healthier, to life each other up. You remind me to eat and I remind you to cook enough for both of us. Nitty and Harper form a team against Simon, becoming his foster parents and whipping him into shape. We argue. Oh boy do we argue. We’re both stubborn as hell and neither wants to admit when their wrong, but after, when the lights are off and we’ve cooled down, we know what we’ve done and what we are. We’re still there in the morning. For each other. I’d love you. You’d love me. Even if you didn’t always like me, Even if I didn’t always like you. Then, suddenly, we would always like each other. Our puzzle pieces would be too stubborn and force themselves to fit with each other and we’d find a beautiful, destructive harmony. The eye of a hurricane.
Yellow, please don’t be angry with my decisions. I’ve heard every word you’ve said and taken it all to heart. But you’ve been screaming at a supernova, hoping it doesn’t go boom. I’m not afraid of death anymore. Maybe there is an afterlife and maybe we’ll meet each other there eventually. Until then, live the life you wanted with me with someone else. I promise there is 1000 someone else’s. I promise.
Signed, Moribund Soul
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BLACK MOON LILITH: Releases Debut Single
Four piece progressive extreme metal band BLACK MOON LILITH hail from Southern California. The band, aged just 15 to 19 years of age have recently released their debut single ‘Moribund’. Check out the video below:
Biography:
From Ventura County, in the 805 of Southern California, Thomas Hemmens, Nathan Hokom, Jason Maser and Emrys Mellinger produce high-level, distinctive, complex,…
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This year in the Discworld...
(via @rdailey.bsky.social at Bluesky)
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Somehow, I survived, tender human heart intact.
-Beach reads
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