#my biggest fear is me being so happy and proud of my lore but no one ever believing i created it myself

[arcanchrys-fr]

wait wait wait hold up

before FR staff publishes any new lore or about about the suspected Arcane Ancient, i NEED to say my fanlore story NOW

i've never gotten around to properly typing it, but i have bits and pieces around my lair lore project all over my lair and den, as well as snippets here on my blog and on my discord. and in notebooks and sketchbooks i'm sure. i'm getting so energetically defensive right now because i've literally had this story in my head and heart for YEARS, and it is TERRIFYING to see how similar it's going to sound now that i'm typing out a summary as fast as i can, to "Look! A shooting star!"

my lair's lore...literally begins like that

there is a meteor approaching the ground of sorienth, and it collides into a great, vast land of one of the floating crystalline terra, and this floating terra explodes into many gigantic shards. these shards were shot across the land in sorienth, each shard piercing the ground in several areas:

shard 1 (the arcaned shard): a smallish-medium sized shard in the less dense zone of the starwood strand some distance away from the Archive

shard 2 (the macabre shard): a large shard the land between Wispwillow Grove and the Emperor's Wake, on the Tangle Wood's side before the staircase before Luminax

shard 3 (the scorched shard): a medium-large shard some distance southeast of Cinderslag, towards the Emberglow Hearth and slightly nearing the Shifting Expanse

shard 4 (the woodland shard): a medium shard hitting just outside a [fanmade] town on the nature's domain, close to the earth's domain. the town has a bridge on the outskirts that bridges nature and earth together, and traveler's and merchant's passage that is kept peaceful. north of the Everbloom Gardens on the main continent.

shard 5 (the hollows shard): about halfway between the Zephyr Steppes and Singer's Brook, slightly more towards the Steppes

shard 6 (the glaciered shard): near an icy crystalized castle-esque mansion kept by an icy prince, on a [fan] claimed ice floe of many acres that has access to the sea shared between the Southern Icefield, the Windswept Plateau, and the Ashfall Waste.

shard 7 (the decomposing shard):

i was planning to have one or two more shards. i started to plan out shard 8, but i forget where i wrote it, where i wanted it to have landed, its theme, etc.

at the crash site, the largest shard of the meteorite remained. where it had pierced the earth, it began to pulsate a powerful magical energy that began to interact with the earth it touched. it happened to have collided with an old, old, oooold fae's nest, long left behind and left for the wild to reclaim, but the wild of the starwoods had not yet decomposed the shards of an egg that had hatched, long, long ago. as the meteorite pulsed and hummed, the shards of the egg began to find it self back together, slowly wiggling and scooting back to one another. each little piece within enough distance of the meteorite. where there were pieces that must have been blown away and otherwise eroded, crystalspine, crystal rocks, minerals, and other bits of geology filled in the gaps. the shell of an egg crept its way back to fuse together...and had bored its way down, down, down beneath the meteorite, that had pierced into a small cavern under the land. now a unified, solid object partially built with rock and minerals, it sank down onto the cavern floor, soft metallic sand catching its fall and insulating it.

(earlier, before the crash...) a young guardian dragon, nomadic and native to Scarred Wasteland, had left his family/clan/pack long ago to wander. he had stayed at his childhood pack for decades, watching each of his littermates, younger siblings, and cousins of all kinds grow and gain their spark for each of their guardian pilgrimages, but he, none to follow. a more gentle, patient, calmer, more observant dragon than the most of his plague family. after watching and waiting as each of his chaotic siblings grow and reach their epiphanies for decades, he bid his pack goodbye and became a wanderer, depressed, but quietly optimistic that perhaps he needed to stir something within him, travel to induce his Search. a couple years have gone, when one night as he wandered by the coast of where the Scarred Wasteland and the Windswept Plateau converged, he looked up at the starry sky, idly gazing, and then a particularly bright and twinkling star seemed to be growing brighter with a streaking tail following behind it. a falling star? as he began to understand that something was falling from the sky and was about to strike the earth, he felt his heart beating faster, harder, livelier. in fact, he had never felt more alive in his life. he packed up his small camp and began to follow this star, towards the Starfall Isles, a land he had been too hesitant to approach until now. his body full of jubilant energy, his wings stretching with a new kind of air, his bones feeling lighter, as if full of radiant light itself. he flew for days without a break, not even for food or water. he was still flying in the sky as he watched this great meteorite strike the ground, and kept flying until the knockback of the collision wave finally met his being, knocking him back and onto the ground. the initial wave just knocked him onto the ground with some bumps and bruises. as he shook himself off and stood back up, he could see the second wave bringing a massive wall of dust and debris coming. his heart leaped with joy but his gut sank with fear. he knew, deep down, that this is where his heart wanted to go, that whatever this star had brought him would bring his purpose in life, but this massive dust cloud was dangerous. he had had no rest, no food, no water for days, and that worried him deeply. but he could feel in his chest that he had the energy and vigor to go in. he leapt back into the air to fly a short while longer, before the dust became to great to fly. he landed onto the ground, unable to see the land before him as the mixture of dust, rock, contagion, blue leaves and petals, and threads of membranes were being swept passed him and against him. he persisted. the dust and contagion dried out any hydration left on the outside of his body and scratched against him, scraping against his face and into his eyes. even if he had water left in his eyes, it would not be enough to blink out. his eyes stung deep into his head as his vision blackened, unable to see, and permanently losing his sight. he could only navigate with the direction of his heart and through the touch of his toes. and yet, he persisted.

he could not tell how long it must have been that he had been walking, fighting against the aftershock of the collision. the pads of his feet ached so deeply that they were numb. his beard was caked with mixture of the debris. he could feel his body thin as a skeleton, malnourished, but eerily the fibers of his muscles and bones still strong and determined enough to just, keep, crawling, forward.

he could not tell how much time had passed, only that it was a long time before the rumble of the aftershock began to decline, and sudden, halt. frozen in time. the air felt as still as a vacuum. terrifying, he thought, and he could not stop his feet from wanting to move forward. there was no sound to be heard other than his own movement and the gray noise around him, until he touched something new:

his paw touched a new kind of grass that he had not felt before, that was long and luscious enough to softly poke between his toes. and the absence of noise now filling with the sounds of wildlife, though of wildlife he was unfamiliar with. he knew what birdsong was like, and the sound of wind rushing over plants. he could feel and he could hear, but as he tried to blink the crust from his eyes, he could not. the lids to his eyes simply ached too much to push the dirt and dust off.

though he still felt alive enough to press forward, he finally began to feel the effect of fatigue and lack of nourishment. he ached in more ways he could count, but his heart sang in his mind to keep moving forward, that he had come so far and done so well to have survive, and that he will rest, soon.

so soon, in fact, that the ground beneath him betrayed him, a hole in the ground. he had just enough momentum in his step and not enough strength in his muscles to stop himself from tumbling down an awkward, rocking slope, into a hole in the ground large enough to house him. he tumbled, feeling pathetic that he had lost the traction under his feet as he rolled down a steady gentle slope underground. as he inevitable came to a stop, he let himself lie there for a moment to breathe, to feel if there was anything broken.

his lungs continued. his heart continued, singing the grandest melody he had ever felt. whatever he had found, his Search, was now over. his legs could no longer hold him up, his wings hardly able to cover his body as a blanket. he trembled with these movements, but found himself at peace. his lungs continued, and he fell asleep for the first time in...days? weeks? months?

he could not tell how much time had passed when his eyes began to open. no pain, no strain. his eyes strong and hydrated, but there was something new about his vision. a soft neon pink now gently lit the features of his skull around his eyes. a gentle pink glow on his brow bones, his cheek bones, his snout and the bumps under his lip where his teeth sheathed. his eyes adjusted to the new light, and he felt well enough to lift his head and neck, to lift up his wings and tuck them onto his back, to lift himself upright just with his front arms.

his heart sang: You have done well. You have reached your reward. Look.

nestled away in a soft blanket of dust, a soft glowing orb peeked out. its light steadily swirled with blue, violet, pink, and magenta glitz and gleams, almost cosmic. he felt his heart swoon and lifted himself up to walk over to the orb, the colors and glimmer speeding up as he moved and approached. he brushed away some of the dust, examining, what this orb was... and deep inside, a dark violet, fluid-like object bounced. an egg?

My chrysalis. I need my chrysalis. Please, pick me up and take me to my chrysalis.

His heart gave a hard thump once in his chest, then once in his ears. Then once in his feet, and then under his feet, in the floor below him... No, not below... The walls thumped with a strong, but slow heartbeat. A pulse. He took a slow and deep breath in, and the cave room pulsed again through the walls, through his feet, through his body, into his head. It seemed to be coming from something behind him, but this cavern room was nearly completely dark, except for the glow he could somewhat see on his face, and the radiant glow from the egg on the ground.

I have cleaned your eyes. Can you see? You should be able to find my chrysalis behind you. It is bigger than you.

With a slow turn of his head, he could begin to seem something massive, and polished like glass, only barely noticeable by the faint glow of two dragon eyes, and an arcane egg. He had only ever heard of glass this lustrous when the lightning meets the sands of the Shifting Expanse.

#i literally stopped EVERYTHING i was doing to write this out for two hours #because my lore is so so so so so important to me #and my biggest fear is #if FR staff releases something so similar to something ive had in my head for so long yet ive had barely any evidence of lore #that my lore will become invalid and cliche #that my lore will lose significance #that no one will believe me when i say that i've been working on this in my head for years but havent been able to sit down and write it #due to a mixture of mentall illness and fibromyalgia and always busy trying to fix my life #to get out of this. miserable living situation im in. #my biggest fear is me being so happy and proud of my lore but no one ever believing i created it myself #no one to share my story or my fan worldbuilding with. #chrysalis crackling #flight rising #flight rising lore #lore #fr lore #fan lore

[ericdeggans]

The fun and fear of guest hosting All Things Considered

As a longtime NPR nerd, I have often listened to the smooth, smart anchors leading broadcasts of our newsmagazines and wondered: Could I do that?

Last Saturday and Sunday, I found out, when I got the chance to fill in for Michel Martin as guest anchor on Weekend All Things Considered.

I knew from a stint guest hosting CNN’s late, lamented media analysis show Reliable Sources years ago, that even a temporary host can have lots of influence over a show. The key is to assemble a lineup of interviews and stories which are informative and newsy, but also show off the host’s strengths by speaking to their expertise, enthusiasms and abilities.

For me, it was also an opportunity to pull together some dreamed-about interviews, backed by the appeal to the subject of appearing on a newsmagazine which reaches millions of listeners over a weekend. My biggest fear: breaking news which would require lots of live anchoring; fortunately, the news gods smiled down and people seemed to chill out for the holiday weekend.

Here's links to some of the stories we offered over those two days. Their quality is a real testament to the staff at Weekend All Things Considered, who were supportive, understanding of a newbie’s nerves and so good at their jobs, it made speaking to an audience of millions exhilarating and fun – and only a little bit scary.

This is one of my favorite interviews: blerding out on comic book lore with Ryan Coogler, director of Wakanda Forever, which stands at the top of the box office. We talk about the death of Black Panther star Chadwick Boseman, making longtime antihero Namor a Mayan (and those ankle wings!) and how two guys wrote a female centered, big budget Marvel movie. Click here to listen.

I’m a late-night TV nerd. So it was beyond fulfilling to get two of the smartest comics in late night to spend a little time talking about the future of late night TV and whether it makes sense to call out comics out for monologues which seem, for some, to encourage and/or minimize antisemitism or prejudice. The Daily Show’s Roy Wood Jr. and The Amber Ruffin Show’s Jenny Hagel were super smart, super funny and super thoughtful in this discussion, which you can hear by clicking here. Another version can be found in our podcast Consider This.

Flying to Washington DC on Thanksgiving night, I was astonished to see tech journalist Kara Swisher taking apart Twitter’s new owner Elon Musk in a series of tweets where she called him her biggest disappointment in 25 years as a tech reporter. During a staff a meeting the next day, I asked the team: Do you think we could get Swisher to talk with us about what happened? Turns out, they could, and we talked about Elon, whether we’re seeing the twilight of the tech bro and the future of Black Twitter. Listen here.

One thing NPR does well is spotlight up and coming artists before they become household names. So I was proud and honored to feature a revealing interview with Elegance Bratton, director/writer of the new film The Inspection, a movie based on his own life about a Black, gay homeless man -- rejected by his homophobic mother – who seeks refuge in the Marines. After the interview was done, Elegance told us he had dreamed of being interview by NPR about one of his films for years. We were happy to make that one come true – click here to listen.

A talk with Stephen Fowler of Georgia Public Radio on the start of voting in the state’ contentious Senate runoff election between Democrat Raphael Warnock and Republican Herschel Walker.

A conversation with expert Manuel Zamarripa on how to process the trauma from media coverage of mass shootings.

Discussion of the podcast White Hats, which dissects the complex and often bloody history of a group typically lionized in film and TV shows: The Texas Rangers.

Words with Senator Amy Klobuchar on her plans to convene a hearing on Ticketmaster’s dominance of the concert ticketing industry after their massive failure to sell tickets to Taylor Swift’s new concert tour.

[arcadekitten]

Spoilers for Blackout Hospital.

I just finished the game for my first time after getting the true ending on my first try and I have to say that it's my favorite game of yours. There's just so much to love and appreciate about. The characters, the atmosphere, the music. Everything about it works on such a great level that it easily destroys any of the popular console games I played recently. There is such a earnestness to everything that I love.

As for some specific highlights of my playthrough:

I screamed and almost fell from my chair after seeing Twyla.

I knew I could not trust Reginald at all and to battle after all the garbage he put Mary throughout multiple games was so cathartic. And I'm interested to see where his character goes from here since I theorize for him to be the same Reginald as from Cemetery Mary. Also, Angel's golden defibrillator literally saved Vasilis and that's amazing.

Seeing the unicorn woman instilled such fear within me that is impossible to describe.

I was really worried I would get a bad ending by not staying with Mary when she was having a seizure.

The pictures in the true ending are cute, amazing, and I'm so happy for them. I was really interested in seeing how Vasilis and Mary would be since they're normally drawn together but never have their friendship explored until now.

I love Angel. I want to cosplay as her.

Seeing Rune being level 99 was the biggest jumpscare ever.

There was one specific glitch that happened during Mallory's and Lucky's fight, where a black box would start flashing over them. It might just be my computer though.

Rune doing that at the end was so cool and utterly terrifying.

I just remembered that I didn't even go to Reginald's office. I wonder what's in there.

Drekaride and Minspella are amazing and I wish them the happiest afterlife ever

Oh my goodness, this is so positively sweet of you!! I'm incredibly proud of the game, so to hear that all my effort does not go unseen makes me very happy! Thank you so much!! ♡

I was so excited for when everyone was able to see Vasilis and Mary's friendship bloom into fruition! I had been waiting for so long and it was so very satisfying to be able to show their friendship to everyone!!

I definitely recommend checking out Reginald's office, as it does give a bit more insight into some of the lore of the game/his character! There's a tutorial in the walkthrough, though I know a few playthroughs on youtube also show what's hidden in his office!

Gosh, I love hearing all the little bits from your playthrough though!! That's so fun, I'm so happy you enjoyed it!!

#blackout hospital #reply

[shikai-the-storyteller]

KARMALAND....

WEDDING DAY WATCH....

Sobs

Luzu: Today's going to be an improv lore day, it'll be fun and relaxing DOUBTFUL

Oh frick I forgot Fargan was on Luzu's side. Alexby come pick up your fiance and knock some sense into him

Vegetta: They won't leave me this time. I've had dreams where this has happened before, where I've been left at the altar. But it won't happen this time; they are just dreams. It's just nerves about the wedding. :(

Vegetta: *trauma dumping about his wedding fears* Fargan, zoning out: I can't wait to marry Alexby :)

Frick. Forgot Luzu had Rubius' daughter locked  up, wtf Luzu

WHY DOES SAPO PETA'S STREAM TITLE SAY PERMADEATH??? IF HE DIES I DIE

If he has to die to bring back Titi I will NOT be happy

Like, legitimately I'll be so sad if he dies

AWH…LUZU'S GONNA GET VEGETTA A WEDDING PRESENT….I genuinely adore their friendship

OH LMAO I FORGOT LUZU CLOSED THE CHURCH TO FORCE OUT QUACKITY'S COUSINS uh oh

Vegetta and Fargan: yeah Luzu's a bit corrupt, but we love him anyways Friendship is beautiful

Vegetta: we don't need a wedding banquet, I want to spend my wedding night with Lolito 😒💀

VEGETTA AND HIS FIVE MILLION CATS….I love him

HE HAS TWO KITTENS NAMED RUBEN AND SAMUEL…..IM WEEPY…🥺💕😭

WAIT IS VEGETTA WEARING THE SAME SUIT HE WORE TO THE DISASTER K4 WEDDING??? oh no

Fargan: I made some mines for today because I think it'll end messy You did WHAT

Why is Fargan wearing That

Luzu: here, we can rehearse the wedding. I'll pretend to be Lolito Luzugetta….

Luzu: We're all proud of you Vegetta. Also a little nervous WE SURE ARE

Alexby to Luzu: I refuse to sit with you. Oh wait I’m the priest, I won't be sitting at all

PFTT he's so cute

They asked Luzu to go get Lolito LMAO please don't ask Luzu they've got old longstanding beef

Lolito: I want Rubius to take me to the altar uhhhHHHHH UH OH

Sapo Peta showed up in a nice suit that's torn up and Luzu said it ripped because of all his muscles pftt

Alexby: Oh how pretty! Does Lolito have a ring for you too? Vegetta: I — I don't know Oh No

Vegetta: This wedding gives me a bad feeling YOU AND ME BOTH KING

Rubius: Today is the day that two men will forge their destiny, but which men are we talking about? RUBIUS I SWEAR–

FIGHT FOR YOUR MAN FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE COMMIT TO THE MAN YOU LOVE

Rubius: Why do people keep saying I want to stop the wedding? I just want my friends to be happy If you ruin his wedding Vegetta will be the OPPOSITE of happy you moron

Lolito: Today’s my last day in Karmaland! I’m going to marry him then kill him. Just kidding. :) SHUT UP LOLITO!!!! THATS MY BIGGEST FEAR

*Luzu and Alexby fighting* Fargan: Wow this is so tense let’s kiss

Rubius wearing a purple dress wow that’s subtle

Rubius Mexico PFTT

Awh… Vegetta was getting stressed out because things weren’t symmetrical so Luzu made his henchmen fix things :’) Fwiends….

Rubius told Lolito to throw the flower bouquet to him. Lord.

LOLITO PROPOSED TO RUBIUS?? HUH

Oh it was that kind of proposal 😒

Lolito still has doubts against getting married agh

Quackity sleeping through this whole thing rn bruh

Lolito: I keep repeating "Mi niña, mi niña, mi niña” in my mind. It makes me feel such a strong strange thing Me: Huh I wonder what that’s about The fandom: *EXPLODING* Me: OH I SEE. THAT’S A MANGEL / LOLITO REFERENCE

Rubius trying to blackmail Lolito into not getting married to Vegetta AGH

Lolito: Everything is beautiful Vegetta: You're more beautiful. The flowers can't even compare to you. The best part about my eyes is you reflecting on them. THAT”S SO CUTE WTF

Awh, Vegetta looked back at Rubius when Alexby asked if anyone objected to the wedding.

HELL YEAH RUBIUS STOOD UP TO OBJECT TO THE WEDDING, WE LOVE THAT TROPE

Vegeta: Sit down, this time I'm getting married for real HOLY FRICK. POP OFF VEGETTA

NOOO HE’S SHOWING THE PICTURES

Not Sapo Peta being like “yes I was the photographer! :D”

WTHAT THE FRICK

RUBIUS ASKED FOR LOLITO’S HAND IN MARRIAGE???

RUBIUS I HOPE VEGETTA DUMPS YOU THAT”S SO MEAN AND CRUEL

Lolito: Do you know I'm a little crazy? I will need an open relationship, I need love without boundaries.

NO!!!! WHEN WILL VEGETTA CATCH A FRICKIN BREAK, LOLITO’S THE SAME AS RUBIUS

NOBODY IN THIS FRICKIN SERIES IS LOYAL

Noooooo noooo poor Vegetta oh no :((((

Vegetta: Rubius just sabotaged the wedding because he's in love with Lolito! And I didn't want the open relationship, they're valid, but not for me! I love that in the midst of heartbreak he’s still like “that’s valid” oh my gosh

Luzu is badmouthing Rubius and Rubius just said “Betrayal? You’re one to talk, didn’t you betray Quackity?” DANG

Rubius and Lolito got married 💀💀💀 Our worst fear became true

Luzu: How can you celebrating knowing what you did to Vegetta? With everything Vegetta is going through? HELL YEAH TELL EM OFF!!! YOU”RE THE ONLY VALID ONE IN THIS ROOM

Partying at Vegetta’s house is always a tradition but this is the WORST time to have it AGH

Luzu: I'll respect my friend forever, and his dignity. They stole his bride, his wedding and his house. That bear is laughing at Vegetta. But he's not gonna laugh for long. The town hall won't accept manipulation. I love Luzu so frickin much. He’s the only one who’s loyal to Vegetta, sobs

Gosh Vegetta’s house is gorgeous

Oh no Luzu noticing the Rubegetta painting in Vegetta’s house

Vegetta: Leave me alone. I want to cry NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Man Rubius is the EPITOME of “If you can’t be with me you can’t be with anyone” except he’s LITERALLY the reason they aren’t together. This is all Rubius’ fault.

WTF IS THAT POTATO

Wait the machine said Luzu was lying when Rubius asked if his name was Luzu. Does this confirm that uzuL or Evil Luzu is in charge right now?? That would actually be the best case scenario because that would explain why Luzu’s being so contradictory 

Rubius: Is there someone in Karmaland you love? Luzu: No Machine: WRONG WE WIN THESE

Rubius: Are you planning something deeper and darker than being just the mayor? Luzu: No Machine: TRUE

Rubius: Did you commit voter fraud? Luzu: No Machine: TRUE LIAR!!!!!!!!!!!

LMAO SAPO PETA OUTING LUZU FOR RIGGING THE MACHINE

Fargan’s the only person there who still supports Luzu, FARGAN….HE CLOSED YOUR FIANCE’S CHURCH….

Fargan: Rubius needs to be taken down Luzu: And Vegetta should be the judge OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Gosh I love the music Luzu is playing I wish I knew what that was

Rubius: Is there someone you love? Alexby: Yes. It’s a love I carry in secret Weeps

Rubius Gaslighting so hard rn

Rubius, lying: I was wrong, you didn’t do anything bad. Luzu: If you want my trust, arrest Quackity and put him in jail. FRICK

FRICK!!! RUBIUS AGREED

Luzu: The truth, Rubius, I am a man of action and not of words YEAH. WE’RE WELL AWARE

Rubius: Congrats on the mayoral position Luzu: And congrats on your wedding I can just imagine them looking each other dead in the eye as they shake each other’s hands trying to break the other person’s fingers

Luzu: I don’t believe a word he said Frick. So Rubius is going to have to tell Quackity the plan. Or will he? Or will he not tell Quackity so it seems more believable? FRICK

Luzu: I trust no one now :( Just like the beginning of K5… “The only word you can trust is mine”

Luzu, to Sapo Peta: I didn't feel good today. I don't know if you can notice my anxiety, but I hated seeing my friend suffer at the wedding. AGH!!! THE LUZU VEGETTA FRIENDSHIP MAKES MY HEART ACHE!!!!!

Rubius said to chat he’s having a better time with his role now in Karmaland but also. King you’re breaking all of our hearts

Luzu asked Sapo Peta to be his unofficial advisor, thank goodness he’s asking the one mentally stable person in Karmaland

Sapo Peta: I’m not sure what's wrong or right anymore. Maybe you should respect your own judgment, because you're looking for the best outcome for Karmaland.

AghhhHHH

So Rubius left the server, as Lolito's new husband and said he’d get together with Alexby to plan to overthrow Luzu. And SapoPeta will act as a double agent but on Rubius's side. Bruh

Luzu: I’m afraid I won’t be able to make the right decisions in the future Bestie you haven’t made the right decisions in the PRESENT

Rubius to chat: Oh I wasn’t planning on marrying Lolito that was completely improvised WE SHOULDN”T HAVE JOKED ABOUT IT

Oh frick someone said “What if Lolito pulls a Rubius and gets a divorce so he can get all his stuff back?” and I’m like OH FRICK. KARMA

WAIT FARGAN CAUGHT THE BRIDAL BOUQUET?? I DIDNT NOTICE THAT….the only highlights from today’s tragedies was Luzu and Vegetta’s friendship and Fargexby

Sapo Peta: Luzu really seems like a good person, but power... power corrupts. Very few who are in power have had an infinite reign. Human beings are not capable of having that much power. What is good and what is evil? I love you Sapo Peta :(

Thinking about Sapo Peta’s friendship with Luzu and these tweets killed me :(

Oh frick he’s playing the background sad opening music from Beauty and the Beast that’s some of my fave music

Sapo Peta: As you can see, I am a very neutral person, I don't marry anyone. I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

Sapo Peta: If Quackity commits evil, it's because Quackity has an evil side and that can be chosen. I cannot defend a person who commits terrorism, any more than I could with a person who rigs the elections. Sapo Peta really said “Neither of these guys are valid”

WELP.

THE ONLY WINNERS TODAY WERE THE FARGEXBY NATION AND THE LUZUGETTA FOLKS

#i talk #karmaland talk #IM A SHELL OF A MAN

[satellite-blossom]

thank you for answering! and for reminding me about Flipnote, I miss that little thing. your OC is lovely btw! any honorable mentions to show?

No problem ! And thank you for the compliment !

Well, as for honorable mentions... I can't really show it because I'm not done with the designs of the characters yet, but I'm pretty proud of my Sonic.exe lore ! Long story short : I used to be obsessed with the Sonic.exe lore made by the writer of the OG Creepypasta, but in retrospect it had a bunch of issues, and when some gross news came out my infatuation broke off and I stopped revering this so-called "canon". Anyway, ever since I've been going hard on rewriting the Sonic.exe lore to use it in Léa's story.

The changes are in the designs, the names and a bunch of things.

First of all, I'm redesigning Exe and his Seven Guardians. I haven't sketched everyone yet, but here's what I have so far :

It was important to me that each guardian get a unique quill style and that Gekido look like a hedgehog this time around (he originally looked like Knuckles and it was weird). The Seven Guardians of X as they're typically called are beings created by Exe/X to assist him, and they all represent a human feeling. Yukubo is desire, Kofuku is happiness, Gekido is anger, Kito is faith/prayer, Aishu is sorrow, Kirai is hatred, and Kyofu is fear. I haven't made a lot of changes when it comes to the stories of the Guardians ; I just had to kinda make up my own personalities for them because the little things the OG creator showed is most likely lost now (it exist only in my memory now I guess).

Where things REALLY got the most changes was with the "Cult of X", as it's called in the OG lore.

In the OG lore and in my Sonic.exe lore, Exe has a cult on Earth which helps to spread his disks, cover up some of his deeds, etc. And that's basically the biggest similarity between those two lores... Mine doesn't even use the same name for the cult ! As an other OG lore rewriter pointed out, cults do not call themselves cults ; on the contrary they tend to call other groups the "real cults". And the rewriter made me admit that yeah, most people wouldn't want anything to do with the religion/cult of a malicious dark matter being so the cult needs a cover. So that's how I've started working on "Far Away GalaXy", my version of the Cult of X ! Its cover is an organization which provides help & support for abuse victims. It was created by Shannon Goldman, who is the leader of the cult, like it used to be in the OG lore before the OG writer brought up "Father". On the surface the group is well-liked, getting shootouts from many people, especially for their queer inclusiveness. The people who ask for help are called "Stars" and the method Far Away GalaXy therapists & staff use is centered over seven "core feelings" they call "Planets" in brochures : fear, sorrow, anger, hatred, desire, faith/hope and happiness... It rings a bell, doesn't it ? Without even bringing up the supernatural stuff in public, the group already starts to ease you into its core beliefs. Anyway, those feelings are seen as "normal parts of life" the abuse victims need to work on, in the order I've listed them. Think of it as something like the seven states of grief but for abuse victims and made by a cult.

Once someone gets very into Far Away GalaXy, they might be encouraged further into the core beliefs of the cult. It starts with hate of the Abrahamic religions, then a lesser opinion of mankind as a whole. Eventually members are invited to send a "special gift" to one of their abusers, and surprise surprise : it's a Sonic.exe disk ! Obviously things go as you'd expect once the person receives the disk ; and now the brainwashed member initially thinks they killed their abuser. But soon they're reassured as they are told about the eternity of souls, and the great love Lord X has for them. At this point, even if you want to leave, the cult has enough material to blackmail you and controls too much of your life anyway ; trying to denounce anything would turn you into Exe's next toy. The religious rhetoric is that Exe is the Sun from a Far Away GalaXy that the humans need to reach with the Spaceship, a tool or being that Exe will use to take over Earth. The Guardians are Planets, Shannon is the Spaceship's Captain and the Satellite of the Yukubo (aka the Planet of Desire ; Satellites are subordinates of a Celestial Body (Planets, Sun) that are higher than regular humans), and the other members of the cult are the Crew. Exe is also called "Lord X" or just "X", and humans are to be his "toys". The Spaceship is eventually found, and it's... Léa, who would have guessed ! In case it wasn't clear, Léa are originally an Earthling ; they look like a hedgehog when they travel to Mobius or Exe's world (sometimes). Here's what they look like as a human (the blue one is their Far Away GalaXy fit) :

Contrary to what Léa expected, being the "key to salvation" of the cult of their boyfriend (yep, they're dating Exe) isn't fun at all. When Exe sends them to the USA under the guise of a year of leisure (Léa are French), right at the core of his cult, Léa thought it couldn't be hell, well probably weird but not horrible. Shannon Goldman seems very friendly to them at first, gifting them a binder and overall being supportive, but things get bad pretty soon. Not wanting Léa to feel important (as Shannon thinks they are just a human who are abusing their position of key to demand things from X since Léa have made Exe sign a contract to post-pone his takeover), Shannon starts to use more and more dehumanizing language when talking to/about Léa in religious situations. In this context she starts to only call them "the Spaceship", use it/its pronouns for them, and eventually always talk to them at the third person instead of saying "you". She says they are no-one, nobody, especially not to the Sun ; they are just a mere tool in her opinion, and once Exe will have taken over they will go "from nobody to nothing". She controls Léa's sleep and anxiety medication, making them more or less tired & upset depending of what she needs, control their internet usage, and even starts to physically abuse them. Léa do not have a license or even a car, they don't know much about living in the USA and have to rely on Far Away GalaXy for their housing and money in the USA, so they're really trapped. But what about Exe, why doesn't he help ? Well Exe has another moment of "I don't know what to do about loving a human", and he wants to keep up his status, so he just tells Léa to trust Shannon to do what's best for everyone. It really breaks Léa's spirit, but don't worry things eventually improve and they get to make Shannon regret her life choices when they get a surge of power after a certain event... And Exe apologizes to them, too.

There are other members of Far Away GalaXy that were in the OG lore but were originally never developed, like Lexi Violet or Lazarus. Lexi is a strange girl who wears dark yet cute fashion and is rarely seen without her big cat plushie. She moves it around pretending to only report the words of the plush if she deems you to not be interesting enough to talk directly to ; she has a tendency to leave conversations if she deems they're "booooriiing". The cat stuff was already in the OG lore... Anyway, she's the main artists of the group ; she designs logos, merch and clothes for Far Away GalaXy. Sometimes she lets Léa assist her a bit. She is aware of the cult stuff, and feels curious about where things will go, not feeling any remorse about it. When Léa are desperate for someone to listen to them, Lexi call them selfish for complaining about what Shannon puts them through ; of course Léa feel even more hopeless after that. Léa's basically only friend in Far Away GalaXy is Alice, Shannon's daughter, who is not even aware of most of the cult stuff. While Shannon is nicknamed "Mother" by a bunch of cult members (she really surrounds herself with people desperate for any kind of attention), Alice is the only person to officially be Shannon's daughter, as she was adopted by her as a child. Alice is no more than a year older than Léa, and very soft-spoken. They're just glad she still sees them as a person, even if they're not allowed to tell her about any of the cult stuff.

Wow that turned into a long ramble ! Sorry about that, by the way... But I'm very proud of how I've reworked the OG lore, and made it fit in Léa's story. I'm reclaiming something that made me happy and I think it's cool ! It's not like the OG writer was getting any money from that, and I doubt most people even know who I'm talking about when I say "the OG writer/creator of Sonic.exe", plus he has left all of his social media soooo... I feel like I can reclaim that ! So many things in the OG lore weren't even created by the guy in question ; Lexi, Shannon, Lazarus, and Alice were created by other people... Talking about a "canon" Sonic.exe doesn't make much sense, especially not now, and gives too much credit to this one guy. But I'm getting off-topic...!

Anyway I hope it wasn't too tedious to read ! Thank you for giving me an excuse to ramble again !

#berry weird paracosm #berry replies #Far Away GalaXy #Shannon Goldman #Lexi Violet #Léa Acorn #Alice Goldman #Sonic.exe #berry sweet asks #abuse mention #cult mention

[technowoah]

Cant Handle This

Quackity's facade keeps breaking, and he tries to keep the pieces together. You're the only one who can make him show his true self

- Quackity x gen neutral reader

- this is a long one yall.

Now playing...

Can't Handle This (Kanye Rant)

Bo Burnham

0:01 ─●──────── 3:29

⚠︎ swearing, angst, mentions of mcyttwt, based on the song above, and ofc its not proofread

Part of my Inside Special!

Quackity sat in his chair currently streaming right now, he seemed like he was having a good time from your spot on his bed. You were currently laying on his bed after he invited you here to relax.

You two had laid in his bed just enjoying eachothers company until he got a call from Tommy saying he was ready for the lore stream which sent Alex into a frenzy. Alex sent out a quick "Im sorry" about the lateness of his stream and then quickly set everything up.

He then started to stream which left you alone on the the bed to your own devices. You were scrolling through Twitter looking at Alex's fans talk about what's happening on the stream and posting screenshots of his character and himself.

You admired him from afar as he ended the lore part of his stream, he took time to type on his phone to text you that he decided to stream longer to talk to his fans. He looked to you and you have him a nod with a smile and he gave one back.

"Hey guys! That's the end of the lore!" He exclaimed to his chat as he types at his computer setting a new background.

You continued to listen to him praise his chat for supporting him and making him be able to make those types of streams. You were always proud of Alex no matter what he did, you were always his number one supporter no matter what happened in reality or on the internet.

"So anyways! I wanted to talk to you guys! How are you all?" He smiled at his camera looking back and forth from his chat.

◇T0mm71nn1t: THE STREAM WAS SO GOOD QUACKITY

"Oh thank you! Im glad I could share this with you. It takes so much to put into these movite type streams, so I know now it is all worth it."

Quackity's pov. . .

He felt so overwhelmed, he shouldn't have began to stream again. The stress of putting everything together, plus being late to the stream made him rush into it more. He just wanted to lay back down with his lover who was enjoying watching him stream, and that's the goal he wants. His goal was to entertain, it was his job and he doesn't want to fail, he doesn't want to crack.

◇Mayatooni3: WE LOVE YOU QUACKITY

◇catiiequak: QUACKITY ITS MY BIRTHDAY CAN I GET A HAPPY BIRTHDAY??

◇yriaaolic: 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

"Happy Birthday!" He said seeing the comment pass in a second. "Happy Birthday to anyone who's Birthday it is today."

Right now it was hard. It was hard to keep up when there was always a constant demand, the constant need to be perfect, his past being brought up, and trying to one-up his content everytime. He loved this, but at the same time it had the same weight as a job.

In the back of his mind he knew the "When is Quackity streaming???" is mostly lighthearted, he never wants to leave.

"Quack are you okay? Im fine! Just thinking about how to get something to eat at 2am." He laughed lying to his fans, he wanted to stop this stream.

He kept looking over to his lover lying their head on his pillow scrolling through their phone and alternating their vision from him and their phone. He always caught a glimpse of their small smile everytime he looked. He was doing something right.

"Do yall think Taco Bell is open? The only problem I have is that Im fucking starving."

He paused for a moment taking a deep breath trying to keep his emotions down. The stress was getting to him, and he fucking knew it, but he didnt stop. He was going to get burnt out eventually and stop streaming and YouTube all together, but he needed this. He needed a break, he needed to take time for himself and stop putting on a happy face when he isnt.

TTS ◇pulixsaxe: "Did you see what was happening on Twitter quackity?"

"Wait what's happening on Twitter?" He asked with a weary laugh.

I can sit here and pretend like my biggest problems are

Pringle cans, and burritos

The truth is, my biggest problem's you,

Your eyes widened as he mentioned Twitter. Truth be told he was trending because of his stream, yes, but also they brung up stuff from his past again in the wake of another content creator's past or present being brought up. You hadn't paid attention to that, you were only getting fueled up from Twitter bringing up an issue that he already had addressed.

Tempted to speak and tell him its fine, he already spoke up before you.

"I bet it's fine! I dont wanna... I don't need to look." He said with a smile. He always had that smile on.

Either it was a full smile or a half smile. It never left his face and it comforted you somehow. Maybe it was that you were his significant other, but you always wondered if anyone saw the same things as you. The things like his smile that never left his face.

"Yeah! I dont need to look at that." He waved his hand dismissing the comment away. He then sighed letting his shoulders relax as you saw his smile fade and his eyes close for a second and immediately put that small smile back on his face while his eyes were glossy, but bright.

He needed to end this stream soon. You saw his face fall then in a split second come back to life except his eyes were glossy with tears. You wondered if anyone else noticed.

"I want to please you

But I want to stay true to myself

I want to give you the night out that you deserve"

His eyes tearful as he tried to blink them away trying to not make a scene.

"Sorry! Allergies ugh!" He said as he wiped his tears away claiming them as allergies.

"Are you crying? No! Im not a pussy!" He yelled at his chat in a joking manner.

He was crying and he felt weak. He felt emotionally weak, and weak as in not strong, he didn't feel strong and his lover who was sitting on his bed with a concerned look on their face always told him that it's okay to feel weak. The only meaningful thing is how you pick yourself up, they always told him, bur now he felt at rock bottom.

He wanted to give his fans "himself", the goofy, lovable, loud, quick-witted, Quackity. But then again his lover always told him to separate Quackity from Alex. He wanted to give himself to his audience, he wanted to be authentic and share himself, but he cant. Alex isn't all laughs, he is serious, calmer, and when he gets on the screen is when he lets it all out then goes back to his more calmer self. That's not what they want.

"But I want to say what I think

And not care what you think about it"

Giving himself meant dialing back, he wants to tell how hes actually feeling, he wants to say what he thinks about Twitter, what he thinks about certain friends, about his fanbase, and then leave it alone. He wanted to delete social media and then speak his mind without knowing what anyone is saying about it. It was paradise to him, but of course it cant be that way and that's what he hates. He feels like a actor when he really wants to be himself.

"A part of me loves you,"

Alex loved his fanbase, he had such a supportive fanbase that loved his content. Some of them did atleast he didn't fully know, but they gave him the courage to do this time and time again knowing that his content is at least taking them from the harsh reality of real life for a few minutes or hours. This was the reason he did this, for them.

Alex would never admit this but they boosted his ego too, it would for anyone. The fact that there were people who wanted and enjoyed content from him made him feel good about himself.

"part of me hates you"

He hated the contant criticisms, he hates that they feed his ego so much that it makes him want to stream more to feel good about himself and to make people get away for awhile. Alex knew inside of his heart he couldn't truly hate his fanbase, they gave him everything he ever wanted. He hates them for that and that's such a scary thing. He never fails to wonder if he did the things to deserve all the love and hate he gets.

"Part of me needs you,"

They feed his ego, they make him want to go above and beyond. Alex knows that his fanbase is the reason he is here in this chair infront of three expensive monitors. He knows that this is some sort of a job that he needed. He needed the push to keep going and that was them, it was the 200k people watching his stream watching him answer questions about him and

"part of me fears you"

He was fearful of loosing himself to them. Loosing his authenticity to them was something he feared. He didnt want his funny, loud persona to consume him and make him forget about Alex instead of Quackity. He fears what they think as well, he claims he doesnt care, but he does he wants to please them. It feels like two parts of his brain fighting about if he should care or not.

"And I don't think that I can handle this right now"

The text-to-speech bot continued to speak out people's comments that theu paid for while he sat there quietly. He bit his bottom lip trying to not break down infront of everyone he needed to be strong. He needed to be strong.

If he looked up at the camera everyone would see his tears, they would see him breaking.

He played it off as he brough his shirt up to wipe the tears away, claiming it as sweat.

"Im good! Im sorry I spaced out for a second." He shook his head.

He saw you look at him with that same concerned look on your face. As he switched his gaze between you and his computer, he felt his tears come back again.

"I don't think that I can handle this right-"

"Alex." You tried to get his attention.

"Yeah guys Im fine!"

"Alex"

"I don't think that I can handle this right-"

"I have plans later for another lore stream, so Ill start doing that later tonight."

"ALEX!" You yelled and his head turned around to face you.

"What?" He laughed, biting his lip again.

You couldn't stop him doing this, you could try to course him into going to bed, but right now you couldn't find the words. You just stared at him while he looked at you with a somber smile trying to tell you that he was okay.

He felt his mind telling himself that he need to rest. He wouldnt allow himself to and thats why he was breaking down.

"I don't think that I can handle this right-"

Alex was blinking rapidly trying to keep his breathing and tears at bay while he answered his fans.

"My allergies are fine! And I drank water today."

◇moonchild21: WE LOVE YOU

◇sopusand: Why do you look like that?

◇wuackityoo: are you crying??

"Crying is for the weak! I am a strong manly man! Im crying cause I noticed how alpha I am!" He tried to play it off as a "Im a man" joke but you could see right through it.

"I don't think that I can handle this right-"

"I don't think that I can handle this right-"

You had sent a quick text to Alex which told him to end the stream for his own mental health, but he left the message unread. He began sniffing and the wiping his eyes again. It was a wreck and you couldn't seem to stop it without literally dragging him out of his chair.

Meanwhile the screens were getting to Alex. Alex's eyes were getting tired of the bright screens and the rapid messages that popped up on the screen overwhelmed him for what it seemed like the first time ever in his strraming career. He wanted to give them the fun night they deserved and wanted, but he knows it's getting hard to. He dosent know how long he can keep this up.

As Alex kept joking around about his eyes and physical state the chat was filled with "LMAO" and "HAHAHA" which fuled him more and then at the same time makes him want to stop.

Look at them, they're just staring at me, like

"Come and watch the skinny kid with a

Steadily declining mental health, and laugh as he attempts

To give you what he cannot give himself"

He cannot give himself the luxury of happiness. As he went on with his career it became more and more like a chore, there was mostly down days and of course there were up days, but recently Alex gave his fans the happiness and laughes they wanted while when he turned off the camera he couldn't replicate that same energy as he had before.

It messed him up, he felt himself become separated from his streaming. He wasn't being himself anymore he was being Quackity and that became more apparent as the days passed. He wanted to be himself on camera and at first thats what he thought he was doing. He was himself then it turned into a persona.

Alex wasn't okay and he he needed to take a break from the internet for a while, but he tries to act like he dosent have a dilemma going on inside of his head everytime he sits in this seat. Its for the fans.

"Think that I can handle this right-

I don't think that I can handle this right-

They don't even know the half of this right-

They don't even know the half of it"

"Alex you need to end the stream. Please?"

He looked towards you again where you moved your position from the middle of the bed to sitting up on the end of the bed.

"Ive told you millions of times." He paused for a moment looking down at his lap before looking back up to you. "Im-Im okay." He nodded trying to convince you.

"But I know I'm not a doctor, I'm a pussy, I put on a silly show

I should probably just shut up and do my job, so here I go"

"Cant you belive them!" He laughed to his camera. You scoffed at his comment but still kept an eye on him as he talked.

You didnt need to baby him at all, but right now you were worried about your lover.

Alex continued talking and talking, which you drowned out. You were focused on his face and how he faltered time to time just showing a small frown.

He laughed and showed them a good time even though he was hurting. He kept going and going and you were convinced he was going to hold out until you heard him sniff multiple times while trying to make a joke about the new Minecraft update and how the glow squid has no use.

"Stupid ass squid! Why- why? Its no use expect for glowing ink. Who voted for that!?"

You can tell them anything if you just make it funny, make it rhyme

And if they still don't understand you, then you run it one more time

"Dumbass squid!" He pulled up a picture if the squid as he yelled at it.

You began to worry even more as you saw tears running down his face. He quickly tried to wipe them away, but he knew everyone saw.

Handle this right

You don't even know the half of this right now

Right now (Haa!)

Now

Handle this right

I'll handle this right, I handle this right now

Alex leaned back in his seat and had a blank stare towards the monitor. Looked down for a second and then you heard sobbing coming from his spot. Alex had his head in his hands and was crying harshly into them.

He had finally broken, he couldn't stop the tears from coming and the loud sobs that came from his mouth. He was trying to desperately breathe in to be able to sob, but ended up hiccuping while doing so.

Your eyes widened as you rushed to him resting your hand on his knees and you kneeling infront of him.

"I cant do fu-fucking anything!" He yelled into his hands.

"Hey! I know. Its okay." You tried to console him.

"Its not I try so hard! And I-"

You cut him off. "You are a hard worker Alex and you deserve a week or two off. Take care of you self babe." You stood up bringing his hand with you and trying to make him stand up. He followed your movements and stood up with you putting his head on your shoulder crying into it.

"I just ca-cant right now!"

"You dont have to do anything right now babe."

"Im sorry!" Alex sobbed.

"Dont be." You said bluntly trying to get your lover to calm down.

You rubbed his back soothingly as he sniffled into your shoulder. "Im sorry for ruining your shirt." He tried to laugh through his tears.

"Dont be sorry! Please. You just need rest okay?" You kissed his forehead and he nodded in response.

Alex raised his head up an started to pepper kisses all over your face as you laughed. He gave you one last peck on the lips as he walked away to quickly change into night clothes. You smiled as he laid underneath the covers and continued to softly cry into his sheets. At least he was in bed and not makijg himself even worse.

He couldn't stop the tears from flowing, it was like a flood that could only be stopped with time. He felt like a boulder was lifted off his shoulders only to be replaced with smaller rocks. The smaller rocks was the guilt he held. He felt guilty of making his lover worry about him, he didnt want you to worry.

You rushed over to his desk and turned off the stream and his computers not even bothering to give them a goodnight or goodbye. After the computer lights were turned off it was quite dark in the room except for small light.

Finally you were where you wanted to be all day, in bed with Alex. But this wasnt the predicament you wanted.

"Forgive me. I just cant do shit right can I?" His eyes were still full of tears and he was getting tired.

"Alex dont listen to anyone but yourself." You tried to console him.

"That's what I'm telling myself."

Silence filled the room as you looked at him through tearful eyes of your own.

"Alex, you're so amazing and I cant even tell you how much I appreciate you, and how much you change my life. You do so much shit right its scary sometimes. Some days I think you're perfect, but there's-"

"There's no such thing as perfect." Alex finished your sentence.

"Exactly! Even the best people have their downfalls, they just dont show it. And Alex I know you struggle with that! All I can say is that I love you for you." You finished.

"Can I talk to you about my dilemmas?" He tried to laugh again.

"Tomorrow we can talk. We both need the rest." You said to him as he closed his eyes and nodded in response. He gave you a kiss on you lips before laying back down to sleep.

"Thank you."

"Thank you

Good night

I hope you're happy"

TRENDING

ARE YOU OKAY

10.1k tweets

QUACKITY

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ARE YOU OKAY QUACKITY?

13.7k tweets

#SoundCloud #mcyt blurb #mcyt angst #mcyt fluff #mcyt x reader #mcyt headcanons #technowoah! #dream smp x reader #quackity x reader #quackity headcannons #quackityhq x reader #quackity x y/n #quackity x you #mcyt x y/n #mcyt fanfiction #mcyt imagine #quackity imagines #quackity fanfic #alex quackity #dsmp x reader #dsmp headcanon #quackity angst #quackity fluff #mcyt x you #mcyt imagines #inside special!

[draceempressa]

I wanna tackle about Leona now. While I do like how he starts showing some hints of care towards others (mainly Ruggie) while still maintaining his usual lion nature, for me, Leona is still on that road of recovery cause all those years he'd gone through (healing for a 20 year old is hard but not impossible) but at least he's starting to take a few steps.

Leona is the only Overblot boy so far who has not much lore in him like, even if I know he's a depressed lion with inferiority/superiority complex, I still don't know how he'd become like this nor we yet to know what's his relationship with his family. He seems distant to them but I can tell he still cares.

IDK his backstory didn't seem to give any clarity of how he end up the way he was in Pre OB. The servants say he's hard to please and his magic is terrifying, but that's not enough cause it's their opinion, but what's Leona's own logical reason for him to be given that reputation cause we never know what he's like when he's a little more younger like in Cheka's age.

From what can understand, Leona's pride is his biggest flaw, he always comes out in that usual lion behavior he has but that's his way to hide his pain for he sees emotions and vulnerability as a weakness we waits for the time to be fully alone to wallow up to his depression again and again. (IDK if there will come the time Leona will show his vulnerable side like he did when he Overblots) 

This is just me trying to understand Leona's character more. I'm giving myself a What if scenario cause he's the biggest "Would he" character on my list. 

Like, would he go far for someone he cares about, especially his own family? 

Would he able to fulfill his place in the Circle of Life? 

Would he be ready to face his own past and learn something from it? 

(Leona is also similar to Simba in a way how these 2 are avoiding their past and responsibilities.) 

I hope you're not gonna find this a bit too much. 

------------------------------------------------------------------

The thing about Leona is that fr whatever reason, while he is not all that fleshed in main story, key to fleshing him was, of all things. his bday personal story.

There it was explained, that a big part of his superority inferiority complex was because people (idk including his parents or not, he hardly mentioned his parents) constantly comparing him with farena. And farena is like, 10 years older than him. So imagine comparing a 26 yo with the 16 yo. Clearly not a fair comparison, regardless how talented the other one is. They are already in different generation, it's far from fair.

While his fear (not respect I remind you, fear) about women is indeed based on irl lion behavior, his superiority inferiority complex is a very human thing. Trust me, I know. I lived with people with those traits, i know where they come from and how human it is to have superiority inferiority complex.

The same personal story also say, as part of the inferiority part of him, he wished to stay away from Farena's family thinking they're already happy , that they're better off without him, that he is unworthy of their love.

I would not say what Leona have as pride, because as I say before, self love is part of pride, to love and appreciate yourself for who you are, to be proud for being yourself. While Vil and Malleus clearly have pride, Leona doesn't. What he have is that superiority inferiority complex. The inferiority part is because he feels unworthy because he is not the best, the superiority complex is that how he keep telling himself he is still worthy for he is still better than some people out there. Pride isn't about comparison about yourself with others, that's arrogance. He is arrogant, he loves to step on others but not prideful as he doesn't love himself either, quite the opposite in fact , as he really have low self esteem. it's not pride, it's not leona who thinks vulnerabiity and emotions is weakness, it's vil. Leona is so openly depressed, most of time he's honest with his feelings and thoughts, I doubt he thinks that.

#submission #twisted wonderland #leona kingscholar

[adhdeancas]

Dean Winchester (and the script leaks last night) possessed me to write this.

Dean happens upon Chuck's latest book: Carry On. Except it ends differently than it really went, and the ending? It's really fucking bad.

tw: suicide mention, transphobia (quickly shut the fuck down) 

Dean doesn’t make a habit of going to bookstores. Not because he hates books, contrary to what Sam might think; he just prefers to buy used books. There’s something comforting about a book that has already been worn and read over and over, that already shows how much the previous owner loved it. Plus, y’know, big corporations are evil and all that. And Dean only allows himself to overlook that when his stomach or his wallet wins over his hatred of the shitty mass-produced products. 

This time it was Jack who won; he’s obsessed with this new fantasy series and the new book just came out, so there’s no way he can hunt it down on Ebay. He makes his way to the fantasy and sci-fi section, eyes roaming over the displays of new releases, and his eye catches on something that turns his blood cold. 

“Supernatural: Carry On, The Final Book of the Winchesters’ Epic Journey” takes up a whole table, the generic and overly serious cover jeering out at him. 

He storms over to the display, anger covering up for the way his body feels light as a feather and like lead all at once, and picks up a book. “Why is Sam always fucking shirtless?” he mutters, the only thought that allows itself from the mess inside his head to his mouth. 

“Book sales.” A voice behind him says. He turns to see a teenager with their arms crossed over their work polo, pierced lip fixed into a customer-unfriendly frown.

“People want to see that?”

They snort, a small grin turning up the corner of their lips. It reminds Dean of Cas. “No. But that’s what advertisers think all ‘women’ want,” They use air quotes. 

He raises an eyebrow and asks. “Women?”

They shrug and uncross their arms, leaning back against the display table behind them. Their nametag says Jadyn. “Supernatural’s biggest block of readers is queer. I’d go out on a limb and say a lot of those the marketers think of as ‘women’ aren’t, or if they are, they aren’t itching to see Sam’s six pack.” Jadyn smirks. 

Dean takes a second to digest that, then grins down at the book, thinking past Sam’s apparently badly-received nudity now. “So how’d they like it?” he asks, waving the book a bit and looking up at Jadyn. Apparently they know a lot about the fans of the books, and for once, he’s proud of the way the story ended. 

Jadyn’s face sets into all hard lines. “Most people fucking hated it.” they say bluntly, then, probably remembering that he’s a customer, correct. “Sorry. I mean, it got some good reviews, mostly from people who like Wincest, but beyond that, it had some problematic plot points.”

Dean winces at the reminder of the ship between him and his brother, then scrunches his whole face together in confusion. “Wait, what? Why?” Why would Wincest fans like it? What was problematic about their end?

Jadyn shifts from foot to foot. “I don’t wanna spoil anything for you-”

“I don’t care about spoilers, just give me the short version.” Dean says quickly. A quiet panic is rising in him, and suddenly he has a horrible feeling that he’s not holding the truth in his hands anymore. 

“Uh, okay… Well, the most obvious thing is the bury-your-gays thing, then there’s the fact that it completely contradicted the rest of the lore. And it was ableist, misogynistic, and messed up, like, every character’s arc.” they take a breath, clearly worked up by it. “Even if they changed any of the details too, it was all built on Dean’s death, and that’s just bullshit. Sorry.” they apologize again, apparently mistaking Dean’s stricken expression to be in reaction to their rant and swearing. 

“No, nah, you’re… you’re okay. Uh, thanks.” he waves a hand and wanders away from them, only remembering Jack’s book when he’s almost to the register. He manages to make his way back and find the damn thing, but he’s still in a fog when he gets to the register. 

“Did anyone help you in the store today?”

“Huh?” he looks up and meets the middle-aged cashier’s gaze for the first time. Brent, from the nametag, looks at him impatiently. “Oh, yeah, uh… Jadyn. Jadyn helped me.” Brent scoffs and starts typing with a shake of the head. “Uh, is there a problem?” Dean asks, a little annoyed at this cashier’s unnecessary attitude. He usually doesn’t care if an employee’s rude, because they have to deal with assholes all the time and honestly Dean isn’t much better, but this one gives him a bad feeling. 

“No, no, sorry. It’s just - “Jadyn’s” got this idea that he’s a girl. Makes everybody call him that name now too. Just-” Brent shakes his head. “I mean, you get it. Their generation, everybody wants to be special.”

Dean glares. “No, I don’t get it, Brent.” He says through gritted teeth. “Seems to me like Jadyn probably deals with enough assholes like you that her asking for a little basic decency is the exact opposite of special. Sounds pretty normal, actually.” He can see the fear creep into Brent’s eyes, and he knows the cashier is reacting to the murderous look in his eyes more than his actual words. 

Brent hands Dean his bag of books with a quiet, “Here you go.”

Dean snatches it away. “Oh, Brent?” he checks over his shoulder to make sure they’re alone and then leans across the counter into Brent’s space. “You should find a new job, one where you don’t have to interact with other people. At least until you learn how to stop being a piece of shit.” He starts to ease away but thinks better about it. “And if you think that’s a suggestion, it’s not. My husband likes this book coming out next month that I’ll need to buy, and if I see you here when I come, well… it would be really embarrassing for you to tell all your little friends that you got your ass beat by a ‘special’ guy, huh?” He pats Brent on the cheek condescendingly and leaves with a huff. 

Damn transphobes. 

He only remembers the book once he’s back in Baby, and he takes the time to drive out of town before he pulls over to read it. It’s an old abandoned church, the cross long since fallen from the roof and the doors hanging off their hinges. He sits on the steps just because being in Baby seems claustrophobic for once in his life, and going back to the bunker to look at this is just… not happening.

Dean only skims the beginning to see that it starts the same. The ground erupting with bodies, hell spitting out its most-conveniently placed nasties, Rowena sacrificing herself, Cas leaving. His throat closes up at that, at Chuck’s description of Cas’s heartbroken expression as he climbs the stairs of the bunker. He clears his throat and skips to the end, right past Cas’s death that he doesn’t have the time to think about right now, past them defeating Chuck and then stops. He goes back a few pages, trying to find the disconnect. 

The story’s different.

After Jack takes on God’s power, in the book, he’s totally fine. Not almost vibrating out of his skin or anything, not crying like the three year old he is because he’s scared. Not like it really happened. He just smiles and leaves him and Sam, and they let him go. 

Dean scoffs, skimming over the story as it just gets more ridiculous. 

In the book, he doesn’t even try to save Cas. They barely even mention him. And they never mention Eileen, either. In fact, Dean notes disbelievingly, practically the only characters in the last few chapters are him and Sam. They’re hunting again.

“What, is Chuck trying to keep the series going?” he whispers to himself, anger flaring through him. They let Chuck live, and he decided to write obnoxious fanfiction about them? He’s gonna kill that shameless little fucker. For real, this time. He deserves it.

In the book, Sam and Dean torture some vampire mime, and they enjoy it. Dean cringes; this is really what Chuck thinks of them. Then they tussle with more vamps in a barn and- 

Dean’s brain stops working. He rereads the scene again and again. 

“There’s something in my… something in my back. It feels like it’s right through me.” 

Dean Winchester dies in a dirty barn, on a piece of freaking rebar. 

More than that, Dean realizes on his fourth read-through. This Dean? He tried to drag out his speech, Dean can tell by the way he pauses for fucking drama. He would never do that. He would never talk to Sam for fifteen hellish minutes when he could be trying. Trying to live, so he can actually get his life back on track, get his family back. No, he made that speech stalling. He made that speech so Sam wouldn’t try to save him. 

“You gotta admit, I had one helluva ride.” He was strangely calm.

Chuck made him kill himself.

Dean reads the rest of the book through blurry eyes, reading an ambiguous and nothing-ending, one where he’s somehow happy to be dead and driving around in heaven alone while Sam raises a kid into hunting and cries about Dean decades after he’s died. Eileen isn’t mentioned. Cas is mentioned once, and Bizzarro-Dean doesn’t even think about seeing him, apparently. The whole book ends with a hug between him and Sam, both dead. Both alone. 

Dean rips the ending up. He tears through the stupid paper covering and keeps ripping the pages up until they’re the size of confetti. His lower lip wobbles. He throws the whole thing against the side of the building, and it tumbles through the broken doorway and drops into a pile of dust and dirt. “That isn’t the fucking ending.” he grounds out, knocking his hand against the flimsy handrail. It gives a little under his fist and he kicks at it. “That isn’t the fucking ending!”

He’s having a panic attack. Again. He tries to take deep breaths, but they’re gulping, too big, they’re making him panic more. He scrambles back to Baby and grabs his phone, presses the first number on his favorites list and waits for him to answer on speaker phone.

“Hey Dean, what’s up?” Sam sounds like he’s been laughing. There are voices in the background, and Dean tries to convince himself one of them is Eileen. 

“Hey Sammy.” he chokes out, trying to sound normal. “You busy?”

There’s a pause, and then the sounds in the background. “Nah, Rowena’s just over.” he says casually. 

“So those voices in the background were-”

“Rowena and Eileen, yeah. They’re trying to convince me we need to go to Mexico. For the beaches.” A smile in his voice. Dean lets out a sigh of relief.  What’s up, Dean? You need something?” The smile drops, and Sam’s worried. 

Sam’s okay. Sam’s okay. “No, nah. Hey, you heard from Donna lately?” Dean just needs to triple-check.

“Uh, no, not since Sunday dinner… Dean, you okay?”

“Yeah, she just- she hasn’t been answering my texts. Just wanted to make sure.” Dean lies quickly. His breathing is still uneven, but his body is settling into uneven shakes. 

Sam sounds skeptical. “Yeah, well, she did tell us it’s been pretty busy at work lately. Y’know, everybody going out for the first time with COVID, getting stupid. Plus, y’know, nowhere’s drowning in EMTs right now.”

“Right. Yeah.” Dean takes a deep breath, a distant memory of Donna talking about that coming back to him.

“Pretty sure you were setting up a D&D session with Charlie while she was talking about that,” Sam laughs. Dean knows he means it as a subtle jab, but there’s too much relief flooding through him to care. Still, a string is pulled taut in him, and Sam can’t fix that completely.

“Gotta go, Sam,” Dean hangs up before Sam can say anything else, and goes to his next contact. It rings for far too long, and Dean’s heartbeat picks back up to thundering.

“Hello, Dean.”

“Cas,” Dean breathes out. “Cas, you know I love you, right?” He needs to test all the bounds of this, to make sure, just to make sure. Make sure Chuck isn’t still fucking with him. Because apparently, Chuck won’t let him be queer. Not in his story. Not out loud.

He can hear Cas’s eyebrow raise through the phone, and his chest is overcome with stupid fondness. “I would be a little worried if you didn’t.”

Dean grins widely. “Like, romantically. I’m in love with you. Because you’re the love of my life and I’m bisexual.” He says it all like it’s a checklist, like he expects some cosmic being to slap a hand over his mouth before he gets each next phrase out.

“Yes, Dean. We’ve been married almost two months.” Cas is smiling. It happens everytime he talks about their wedding. Dean adores it. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah. Yeah, now it is.” His whole body relaxes, still vibrating with leftover panic, but satisfied. “I got Jack’s book.”

“Oh, good. He’ll be so pleased.” Cas pauses. “Dean, are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah. Yeah.” Dean eases off the ground and sends a last look at the dilapidated church before climbing into Baby. “Just- read a bad book. I’ll tell you about it later. When I get home.”

#i fixed it #god fucking damn it #dean winchester #destiel #saileen #saileena #sam winchester #castiel #eileen leahy #castiel winchester #jack kline #roweena #my writing #ficlet #deancas #trans dean #trans woman OC #tw: transphobia #tw: suicide mention

[tar-oh]

Pick-A-Pile: What you need to hear right now:

  This is my favorite kind of Pick-A-Pile to do because you never know what’s going to show up! It’s kind of like a free-for-all!  I also forgot to originally add that they’re a little shorter than normal because I felt like doing smaller messages, and because I’ve tried posting this exact post about 3 times, I lost that part of the message. So, here it is now! Remember to take what resonates and choose more than 1 if you feel like it! (also if you’re curious about what cd’s they are, message me! lol idk i know some don’t even have the band on them) So anyway, choose from one the random CD’s I forgot I owned (but all are pretty good albums): 

Pile 1:

Cards: The Hierophant, Queen of Wands, New Moon in Leo So, for Pile 1 I just kept hearing “Don't let anyone dim your light”. And I guess the Queen of Wands and the New Moon in Leo card both kind of scream that to me, because there’s a lion in both and it’s really powerful. That, and I always kind of think that when I get the Queen of Wands, and with that deck specifically I see it because it’s so bright with all the light colors. Right now, you're shining and you have things to be proud of. I'm seeing that a lot of you have skills or talents that are really shining through, as well as who you are as a person. There may be people who don't want to see you shine, or don't like what you're doing but honestly the biggest message of this pile is for you to do you. The song that played while I was working on this pile was Adelaide by Ben Folds, and while it doesn't connect completely, it's a song about the narrator being questioned why he always chooses Adelaide the city. He explains many reasons, but the biggest is that he just wants to, so I kind of take that to mean do what makes you happy. Also, side note, I think you should check out piles 5 and 6 if you were torn between any of them. Adelaide - Ben Folds (isn’t the piano and bass in the beginning a perfect combo???) Pile 2:

Cards: 4 of Pentacles, 4 of Cups, Balsamic Moon The biggest message for this pile is about healing. Something left you feeling a loss. This could have been a physical loss, like of a situation or a person, or it could just be that you feel like something is missing. Whatever it was that you went through, you need to heal. I think the best way to do so is to feel the emotions your feeling. Try not to push them away. The songs that played while I was working on this were Mad Woman by Taylor Swift and Headspace by The Wombats. Mad Woman is an angry song, asking the agitator what reaction they expected from the narrator. And, while it's an angry song, she still seems to portray this anger in a graceful manner. I'm getting that some of you may be feeling angry about whatever transpired, but I'm also getting that you need to be able to channel this anger in a healthy way. I personally love doing Kickboxing workouts when I'm really pissed? I don't know! Whatever works for you! With Headspace, the narrator talks about how he wants someone out of his head because she's kind of taking over his "headspace". So, maybe whatever this is keeps replaying in your mind and you can't get away from it. While I do think you need to feel those feelings, I also think for some a small break from your own head may be what's needed. Maybe read a good book or watch a movie or something. I'm not saying keep distracting yourself after already distracting yourself, I'm just saying take a bit of time away from those thoughts. Then, come back and feel. Overall, it will all be okay. It's just the getting there that can be hard, but I know you can get there. And, anyway, I think this is my pile, so I'm literally right there with you guys. Mad Woman - Taylor Swift Headspace - The Wombats Pile 3:

Cards: Judgement, 6 of Pentacles, New Moon in Cancer A new cycle is beginning for you. It could possibly be a spiritual one.  Or maybe in a relationship (whether it's platonic, romantic or familial). Either way, you're entering into a period of something new. You may be feeling generous, like you want to give something to help people better themselves and heal. Or, for others, just offering up your time and love. Either way, with the judgement card, I always see it to mean something destined. So, whatever it is you want to do was destined to happen. If you want to go in this direction, it's a good idea. And if you already were heading in this direction, keep up the good work. You guys didn't really get a song, but one that played while I was writing this were the end credits from the movie Lore. It's really pretty and maybe if you're into movie scores, check it out. End Credits by Max Richter from the move Lore (side note, the lady who directed this directed the new Black Widow movie coming out and while Lore is NOTHING like a marvel movie, I highly recommend it since it’s one of my favorites) Pile 4:

Cards: Queen of Cups, 3 of wands reversed, Supermoon Things may be moving slowly for you, or perhaps not moving at all. Maybe you're feeling like your hard work isn't paying off. Or, maybe you're afraid to move forward at all. Or even just being unsure of where to go. Or, maybe like the album you chose, Wiped Out, you’re just feeling a little drained and you don’t really want to move right away. Things will be moving for you soon, so if you're unsure of where you're going, then you will know soon. The Queen of Cups is the queen with the strongest intuition, so I think you know where you're going or how to move it forward, you're just not consciously aware of it right now. I think if you kind of take a minute and dive into your intuition, you'll gain clarity. I also think that if things are feeling stagnant to you, then maybe this period of stagnancy was meant to happen so you could gain the clarity you needed. Whatever it is you're going through, things will be moving and it will all work out. Edge of Seventeen by Stevie Knicks came on when I was writing this, and I think there might be something in there for you. Edge of Seventeen - Stevie Knicks Pile 5:

Cards: The Emperor reversed, Strength (or Fortitude with this deck), First Quarter Moon I'm getting a few different scenarios with this group. Also, if you felt pulled towards group 1, maybe read that one. Maybe 6 if you were drawn to that one too. The first has a couple scenarios within itself too lol. Maybe you're involved with someone (it can be in anyway) that is controlling and not in the good way. For others, maybe someone who has authority over you and is taking advantage of that. So, maybe an age gap or something. Or, just in terms of status (i.e. a boss or parent). Either way, I see that maybe they're abusing this control and I see you being able to stand up for yourself. There's a sense of self-perseverance that's needed here. You need to examine this and see if there is a way for you to make things healthier between the two of you. Otherwise, cutting ties may be needed (though, please take what resonates, but also, if this is Job-related, please know that your life is more important than a job. I know we all need to make money to survive, but also, don't work to the point where you're killing yourself, like if this is causing you that much distress. I’m not talking about if you’re just bored. I mean, that comes with a lot of jobs. I’m talking about mental and physical distress). It could even be that maybe this person has yet to abuse this power, but you feel like they will or are expecting the worst from them. In that case, maybe talk to them about this to ensure it doesn't happen. For the other group (or even both!) this is about following your dreams and not allowing someone to stop you from doing so. Maybe you're afraid things won't work out if you do follow your dreams. You have the strength to achieve them, so what's holding you back? Don't let fear do that. Maybe you're working a little too hard to control the outcome. Loosen your grip on the reigns. Or, for others, you're not in enough control, so you need to tighten the slack. Either way, you have what it takes. The songs that really stood out for me were Soft to Be Strong by Marina and  Just Exist by Eliza & the Delusionals. With Marina's song, I see this as being you taking control of your life, but not in a domineering way. And maybe if you're someone dealing with someone else, then this is the way to show them how to be. And with the others who are trying to follow their dreams,  it's more of a reminder to still be kind of yourself. Maybe you do try something and you fail. I kind of think of that thing the Robinson's say a bunch in Disney's Meet the Robinson's, "Keep moving forward!", and I definitely equate that with this song and your pile. I mean, not directly, but that’s something else that comes to mind, and with Soft To Be Strong, I see that as maybe you’re worn down, but you can still be strong. With Just Exist, it's kind of about how it would be easier if someone wasn't in their life, so I mean this could be taken literally lol. So, I guess, take what resonates. Soft to be Strong - Marina Just Exist - Eliza & the Delusionals Pile 6:

Cards: 7 of Wands, Ace of Wands, Full Moon in Aries You have ideas that you want to put into action, but you're feeling defensive of them. Like, maybe you're afraid someone will steal them if you share them. I'm kind of here to say So The Fuck What? Like, pretty much everything that's been done HAS been done, but it's YOU that makes it unique. So, what if someone likes your idea and decides to use it? Their take is still going to be different than yours. You can't really succeed if you never try, can you? I mean, it is a different thing if someone outright plagiarizes you, in that case fuck em up. (Okay, I shouldn't really be condoning violence lol) Basically just stop holding back and act! The biggest song I got for you was Dreams by The Cranberries and while it's a love song, I definitely think this can apply to you going after your dreams. Also, if you were between piles, 5 and 1 might be some to check out. Dreams - The Cranberries

#tarot #pick a pile #pick a card

[tanadrin]

So all the terrible retcons and geographic inconsistency (Kul Tiras wtf) and the time travel and the bullshit with the night elves is bad (Illidan is the worst character ever, don't @ me), but the most frustrating part of WoW lore to me is its failure to explore certain complex emotional themes in a really satisfying way--like, the people who expound and expand on Warcraft lore are canny enough to notice that these emotional themes *exist*, but not clever enough to actually work with them or build them out, and so the whole thing collapses into rule-of-cool melodrama. There's nothing wrong with rule-of-cool melodrama; I love rule-of-cool melodrama. But Warcraft lore is *begging* to combine that rule of cool melodrama with some really rich and interesting emotions and character interpretations, it sets them up and is all ready to knock them down, and just... doesn't.

Take the conversation between Saurfang and Garrosh in the Borean Tundra, in WotLK, the one that ends with Saurfang saying "I don't eat pork." I think that's emblamatic of the big theme that unites the Horde, that makes it make sense as a faction. The Alliance, after all, started as a defensive association in the face of the Orc invasion; its renaissance after the creation of Durotar and the invasion of the Scourge is only natural. But what is the theme of the Horde? Is it honor? Strength? Sheer brutality? Well, none of those things. Orcs claim to value honor and strength; the Forsaken are certainly various shades of very dark gray at best, the Tauren and the Orcs *do* seem like natural allies of a sort, but all the races of the Horde have something even deeper in common: trauma. The Orcs are still (cf. Saurfang) dealing with the emotional turmoil of having been both forced and partially complicit in the atrocities of the First and Second War--after which their homeworld was destroyed, they were forced into concentration camps, and they had to rebuild their culture and their identity from the ground up. They have to find a new place in a new world, and there's this tension between the younger generation that doesn't have firsthand experience with any of this and just remembers that the Horde used to be a name that struck fear into the hearts of their enemies (Garrosh Hellscream, for instance) and the older generation that remembers how awful that time really was, and doesn't want to see the old ways revived because it might just destroy their people for good this time. Then there's the Darkspear Trolls and the Tauren, who were both driven out of their old homelands, and fell in with the Horde as natural allies with similar cultural points of reference; and the Blood Elves, whose suffering in the Third War was severe enough to radically alter their culture, coupled with being betrayed by their ruler who decided that joining the Burning Legion and abandoning them sounded like a better time than rebuilding Quel'Thalas.

And then there's the Forsaken. Oh, man, the Forsaken. The Forsaken and Sylvanas are some of my favorite characters in all of WoW, because sure, you could look at it and say, "okay, creepy undead who like green things that go plop and mad science = evil, bad guys." But you'd really be missing what makes the Forsaken interesting. They're not the Scourge--they explicitly broke away from the Scourge when Arthas left Lordaeron. They're not invaders, either. They're in fact mostly the human population of the destroyed kingdom of Lordaeron, the inheritors of that land, but who are treated by the Alliance as interlopers with no right to the very towns and villages they have *always* called home. They're treated as monsters by every living person who ever knew them, and they can't help but regard themselves that way, too. "What are we, if not slaves to this torment?" is one of the casual interaction lines you get when you click on Sylvanas: they do not *like* being dead. But Sylvanas is ruthless and cruel and after Arthas is killed, wins the Val'kyr over to her side so she can keep making more Forsaken. Why?

Simple. Let us imagine: you are an ordinary person, of no unusually great or poor moral virtue. You are hurt, badly. Grieviously. In a way you will never recover from. And everyone you love, all of your friends and your family, the whole society you come from, now sees you as an unredeemable monster that should, no, must be destroyed. How long must you be called a monster before you decide--fuck it, I *will* be the monster they call me. Because, at least that way, no one can ever hurt me again.

The overpowering motivation for the Forsaken is not power or bloodlust; it's not money, or forbidden knowledge. It's making sure no one in the whole world is ever able to make slaves of them again. To make sure they will not be hurt. And the biggest misstep the Alliance ever made was not reaching out to Sylvanas with overtures of friendship as soon as she established her kingdom--because like it or not, she has the support of the people of Lordaeron, and thus a damn good claim to her position. Maybe, if they had, they could have influenced the Forsaken, shown them that they had friends and didn't need to resort to amoral methods to defend themselves. But as it stands, they only have allies of convenience in the Horde (at least until Sylvanas becomes Warchief), and they know that no one in Azeroth is quite happy to see them continue to exist and be free. Everything else about the Forsaken--their use of dark magic, their development of a new, even more destructive plague, their recruiting former servants of the Lich King and raising new Forsaken from among the dead of the ongoing wars--makes perfect sense from the standpoint of a people that knows they are under threat from all sides, and will do anything to survive.

(The Draenei could have been something like this, too, FWIW. Like, a broken people, a people of exiles who are most comfortable in the shadows and with moral ambiguity. But then Metzen had to go make them Righteous Space Goats. I mean, come on. They're just boring now. They were never going to be Horde-aligned--there's too much history with the Orcs  there!--but having a group like that on the side of the Alliance, to help drive home the point that there is not a clear good guys/bad guys distinction here, would have been really nice.)

That actually makes them a pretty damn good fit for the Horde. Moreover, it creates an interesting point of tension with the Alliance, which is clearly *not* always the good guys. I mean, there's the matter of orc concentration camps, but also consider the refusal of leaders like Daelin Proudmoore to contemplate peace (and the subsequent, somewhat... forced turn of Jaina Proudmoore from dove to hawk) and the steadfast refusal of many on that side to deal fairly with the races of the Horde just because they appear monstrous. And arrogance, hoo boy. Dalaran, Gilneas, the Night Elves--huge swathes of the Alliance are characterized by being arrogant and not a little cruel.

And what of Sylvanas becoming Warchief? I don't know where the BFA lore is going (I'm not playing retail anyway), but right now it looks like they're setting up another Garrosh type situation, and preparing for Thrall to retake the Warchief-ship, but if they do that it would be a real pity. First of all, because, well, we saw that already in Mists of Pandaria! What, are we going to besiege Orgrimmar again? Second of all--Sylvanas and Garrosh are *very* different people. Garrosh was, well, Proud; hence the Sha of Pride. He wanted glory and power, he wanted war for war's sake, so he could live up to his father's reputation as a warrior. He was willing to sacrifice everything else that made the Horde the Horde for that. Sylvanas, though, has one overriding motivation: Keep Her People Safe. Punish the people who hurt her is a strong secondary motivation--but it's part of that first one, because if she can make her enemies' victories painful enough, she might discourage them from trying to press their advantage. And her people *trust* her on this: "Dark Lady watch over you," they say when you take your leave. She is not an autocrat--she is their beloved protector. So, she makes the ruins of Lordaeron uninhabitable. She annihilates Teldrassil. Does she spend very many Orc and Troll and Tauren lives doing so? Very well. They aren't *her* people.

I don't think this has to be a tragic flaw leading to her downfall. It sure doesn't make her a good leader for the rest of the Horde, though (even though, on an emotional and aesthetic level, I am 3000% here for Warchief Sylvanas, even more than Warchief Vol'jin, who also had a lot of the creepy threatening vibe that made him a much more interesting choice than either Thrall or Garrosh). But you could make it one, and you could do it very well--they've already mentioned in the tie-ins that Calia Menethil, Arthas's sister, teeeechnically has a claim to the throne of Lordaeron. And, even more interesting, is no longer quite among the living, even if the mechanism of that unlife is happy fun magic instead of evil death magic. Moreover, she has some sympathy for the Forsaken. You could have a squaring-off between them, and you could have a Queen Calia--maybe. If you could bridge that gap and make her understand that the Forsaken feel fundamentally apart from the other human kingdoms now, if she could come to understand just how much evil the Alliance has done to them, if she could really grok what it's like to be them. Then you could have a leader who understands their trauma--but also wants to heal it, rather than lash out at anyone and everyone that might conceivably be a threat. That, too, would be very interesting.

(There’s a reason that, while I loved the Alliance as a kid, I only play Horde toons as an adult. It’s not just that the Horde feel more interesting and vivid to me. It’s that the hypocrisy and the arrogance of the Alliance stands out in much greater relief now. The Horde aren’t good guys--nobody’s the good guys, here--but they don’t lie about their motivations, and they don’t act with cruelty and then play the victim in response. Jaina was an important exception, but they badly mishandled her character in the runup to MoP, which I find very hard to forgive.)

But knowing Blizz, even if they go vaguely that route, they won't stick the emotional landing. There is a very good, if very OTT and melodramatic (in the best possible way), series of fantasy novels or games lurking *behind*, or perhaps parallel, to Warcraft's lore. It is a shame that Blizzard has done so much to obscure it with obnoxious cruft, retcons and timeline compression, repetitive use of the same handful of characters, stupid-ass time-travel plots that create ten thousand plot holes and inconsistencies, shitty tie-in novels (cf. everything by Richard Knaak), and a total failure to make half the world's characters (i.e., everyone in the Alliance) at all interesting. I have a daydream of doing my own version of WoW lore and posting it somewhere like on AO3, but one of the things that makes WoW lore simultaneously so interesting and disappointing to me is that it's embedded in the explorable, realized space of video game worlds. Hard to reproduce that in print, I think. Might be worth it to try.

#world of warcraft #lore #warcraft lore #the forsaken #sylvanas windrunner #the work of chris metzen and its discontents #but hey #at least i got full chain of the scarlet crusade on my warrior in classic

[lovedlovingly]

your mom sounds like she sucks, glad you were able to distance yourself from her! im in the same boat and cutting her off is truly the best decision i ever made 😎

Honestly my mom is so unbelievably horrible and I HATE I had to cut her out of my life! I'm a huuuuge family person, I'm so fucking family oriented I tried to change myself and be exactly what they wanted (perfect victim mentality) til I was fucking 22....... For some reason I just realized one day I couldn't be the glue anymore so I stopped, and then she got more abusive because I was "giving up" and "everything will be fine in the end because you'll see to it"

I've been my parents parent & psychotherapist all my life it's zzzzzzz left me so fucked up and with so much trauma I'm trying so hard to unlearn, and my biggest fear is to let any of it go out over others! But again I fucking HATE I had to cut them out of my life because they could easily have decided to be good ppl. THEY ruined what could have been. THEY refused to be kind to me or make the family I was born into a safe loving place. And I will never forgive them for it!

But facing reality, something I tbh have a hard time doing hahahah 😂, cutting cords with family who do everything to hurt u is so healthy. It's hard as fuck imo, and they usually don't want to let go of their fave abuse victim, but it really is the healthiest thing u can do. I'm still in a mourning process about what could have been, the mother figure she robbed me off etc, and Idk for how long it'll stay. But enough about me and my shitty lore lmao I'm so happy you were able to cut your mom off too! It's srsly what's best for us, a glimmer of hope of being sane one day 😂😂😂 we need a safer space to vent, to be in, to exist and society needs to do more to protect us! We weren't only failed by our parents, but by everyone around us who refused to act when we begged them to.

I hope we can heal together, I have a lot of friends who have, are or just in the beginning of the same thing. Cutting their mothers out of their lives. And it's hard, it's emotional, it's freeing!!!!!! And we're not alone.

I'm fully focused on being able to heal and give all my love and compassion and support for my future family(friends are absolutely included in that word), and I really hope I'll be able to one day. There will always be things to work with with yourself, that never ends, but at least we cut out a part that kept adding things to work with lmao

I'm really proud of u💕

#Abuse tw #Also I always feel like... Sadly we're not alone 😭 #I hate what I had to go through - and if there was a way that no one else had to go through this shit #And it'd be me alone carrying this #I'd be FINE WITH IT because I really never want anyone to have to go through what I've gone through #But it's also healing knowing there are others just like u - that have gone through it #Our fight is not as isolated as our abusers wants it to feel. Still I really wouldn't want anyone ever to be in this situation ;;;

[toooldforfandom-liveblogs]

RWBY V07E07 - Worst Case Scenario

It has been two weeks since I last watched RWBY so let me try and remember what happened. There was a party, some flirting, a kiss... and that's it, right? Nothing bad happened, right? Right?

* sigh *

I assume someone is going to drop the title referring to the fallout after what happened last episode. I expect riots and Grimm, and maybe Robyn trying to commandeer the resources destined for the future Amity Tower (which is probably the only thing Ironwood _really_ cares about since he has been all "it's worth the sacrifice" the entire season so far.) I don't want to keep waiting so let's do this!

Oh no, sad Penny. What an auspicious start for the episode.

This is her dad, right? Those robot pats straddle the line between dorky and sad. I doubt the military wants Penny in the streets so I guess this is the only way he can be with her. Ugh. My heart.

Look at this crime against humanity. RT will answer for this someday!

Oh, one of the thirsty moms survived! The one with the casserole!

She's _terrified_, and with good reason. From her point of view, her own government killed her friends for daring to believe. What if she's next? Is Atlas going to start hunting everyone who supported Robyn? What about the people close to them?

We know that's not going to happen but she (and the rest of Mantle) is in all her right to believe it will

Oh no.

It's interesting how the scene that was, at the time, only a gag showing Jaune's bad luck and some cute kids with their moms, ended up being setup to show us how quick everything changed. Now their moms are dead and they are orphans, alone and in the cold.

Of course, this only furthers my belief that nothing good can be trusted in RWBY because it'll only be used to increase our suffering.

I'm going to _pissed_ if this happens. Stop killing Penny for god's sake.

First: I'm so glad she's okay.

Second: holy shit

did she just absorb an entire truck into her hand? Is she a human pokeball / dragon ball capsule? What a busted up semblance!

Huh. I really thought it was going to be something related to his tower. Unless that's what he's _really_ worried about (was that the truck's destination?)

ah, there you go.

Good!

Was Ozpin an "end justifies the means" man? I think he wasn't really, or at least he didn't consider himself one, but he had spent so much time alive he lost sight of what he was doing and asking people to do for him really meant.

In comparison Ironwood knows exactly what's going on. He believes he's doing the right thing by prioritizing the tower over his people. And maybe he's right from a global point of view? But the fact that the human lives that are going to be lost are the ones that were _already_ suffering is a supremely bad look. What's going to be left of Mantle after he saves the world?

You tell him, Nora!

Nothing good ever comes when someone says "the greater good."

Ilia said exactly the same thing back in Volume 5, almost word for word. I wonder if the callback is intentional or if there's just not that many ways to use that concept as an excuse.

I _really_ thought she was going to say "exchanging Salem for you."

I love how Nora is the one speaking up but I hate that no one is supporting her. Winter looks completely unimpressed back there but I didn't expect much from her or Clover but what about the rest?

_Thank you_

Wow, what did he do to get Salem's personal attention? Because "what are you?" followed by "Beautiful" has to be about her, right?

oh _no_ what is wrong with Reeeeeen.

We never got an explanation about his behavior, he didn't talk and Nora kissing him solved zero problems. Yay.

I was hoping for a cut away to them partying it up before all hell broke lose but oh well.

Treason!

I _love_ that they are all right, or rather, their opinions are all understandable. I can see where both Yang and Blake are coming from and there's no way to say "ah, the show is doing everything it can to show that Yang is wrong."

Which keeps increasing my worry about how they are going to handle the end of the arc because so far the show has been very even handed but any ending where the long term sacrifice and oppression of Mantle ends up being justified is going to be... well, bad. It doesn't help that the "oppression" hasn't been really visible so it could be reaally easy to just sweep it under the carpet and just say something about "things are going to be better from now on" or even "they weren't that bad to begin with"

Anyway, this is me getting worried about things that may not even happen so I won't keep talking about it. Let me say instead how happy I am that they are still dealing with what happened with Adam and of course that would color Blake's views of what she wants to do in the future.

And is that treason I'm hearing here? I expected a team up with Robyn but I didn't expect it to come from these two. Interesting. Is Yang going to spill the beans to her about the tower and Salem?

Look at those green borders inside the boot! Tsk, tsk, Watts. He obviously was getting bored of masking Penny frame per frame.

lmao. Maria is straight up vocalizing the section of the fandom that misses the early simpler seasons

Oh. Watts's plan has _layers_. I'm impressed!

ooh hidden penny lore

how many theories is this going to prove/disprove?

The man under the thumb has to be Watts, right?

WOW

I _really_ didn't expect this to be the answer for Penny's soul. I was in the "there's no artificial soul" camp but I expected something like Pietro transferring someone else's soul or a lost daughter, not him literally giving her part of his soul.

What does this mean for Penny? Does the part of the soul Pietro gives her grow like a plant from a cutting or everything she uses her semblance or is hurt she loses a bit more of it? It has to grow, right?

It's good to see an explanation for Pietro's death flags. Is he going to die saving Penny one last time? Jaune is learning how to manipulate his aura outwards...

Just lol at the being an obvious villain even in the group pictures.

So, is this personal for Watts? Did Ironwood choosing Penny mean the end of his career? Did he try to do whatever he planned anyway and got fired?

The hand again! Is that how she activates her semblance? But if she needs the person to grab her hand, what did she expect from Clover?

Also, props to the show for making everyone react somewhat realistically. Of course, Robyn was going to run the second she saw Ironwood's new pets.

Is Ironwood intentionally using RWBY and the rest to keep suspicions down? "They are all young and attractive, some even look innocent, there's no way they are doing anything _bad_, right?" But again, that would mean Ironwood is playing 4D chess and I'm not sure that's his deal.

Oh no. And Yang is so proud of her pun.

That was a good first step. I can't deny I was hoping for Yang and Blake to join the huntresses and kick ass but I was dreaming too big.

...so it was Ozpin idea to have a city floating above Mantle making ther differences permanently clear? Has Ozpin ever had a good idea?

FREE ENERGY AND THEY STILL ABUSE PEOPLE TO GET DUST

AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I know it's probably not easy but

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAa

Atlas is 100% going to crash into the ground. I think everyone already suspected it'd happen but this is a gigantic death flag.

Ironwood is sliding down as fast as he can down the slippery slope of the greater good. He didn't want Ozpin's opinion, he wanted Ozpin to tell him he was right.

It feels so bad to take away from Oscar's growth but I wonder if they are already merging.

welp

That was a great episode to return to. Somehow RWBY is managing to handle all the balls it had in the air earlier in the season and hasn't dropped one yet.

I was expecting that the episode would start with Yang and Blake or Weiss and company but nope, just sadness and tragedy. Followed by more consequences, in the form of Robyn and her happy huntresses finally doing what they probably wanted to do from the start. If the "legal" way didn't work, well, time to do it anyway. That does leave me with some questions about how long was the timeskip between episodes, it can't be that same night, especially with the news showing things like "additional deaths confirmed." Maybe same week but at least a couple of days later?

Ironwood needs someone to shake him by the shoulders. Some of the things he's saying wouldn't be out of place in any villain's origin story, especially the part about wanting to get rid of his fear. I hope Jacques being the awful man he is shows him what waits for him in the other side.

Pietro's reveal about Penny's soul really feels like the biggest of his death flags so far. Him dying trying to make Penny live again really feels like end-of-season drama, considering there's no Pyrrha to kill again and apparently RT really likes killing Penny. Jaune _just_ learning about the possibilities of his semblance feels weirdly suspicious now that we know about Penny's aura but... it's a bit too out there since I think they have never talked. Or maybe it's all a misdirect and someone else ends up dying with RT winking at us saying "you really though it'd be Penny, huh?" At this point I'm not sure what'd be worst.

I liked everything about Yang and Blake's talk in the truck. I'm not a big fan of Yang's main trait lately being "dislikes secrets" (the secondary being "likes Blake") but I'm not sure if overcoming that is just her next step in her growth or if that's all there's going to be.

Their chat with Robyn was great, I can't wait for the repercussions of telling the leader of the resistance the biggest secret Atlas has. With Ironwood being who he is, it could be _bad_ for the couple which could push everyone else in one direction or the other, and not necessarily the _same_ direction, as we already saw with Ren who's officially canceled because for some reason he's going all fash (I _really_ need an explanation before the season ends)

This volume is going places, can't wait for the next episode! Until next time!

#rwby #rwby liveblog #rwby v07e07

[bookenders]

🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊 !! (from penzag)

FIVE!?!?

Ooooohkay then, @penzag! Five it is!

Grab some snacks, folks, because this is gonna be a long one. 

[Wanna hear more about my OCs?]

Here’s Mel, Fred, Mary, Jill, and Treena:  [Tag list and WIP info at the end!]

MEL

I could gush about Mel for forever, but I can’t, because spoilers.

Incredibly intelligent, criminally clever, and wonderfully weird, Mel tries not to let anyone tell her who she is.

Her family is very distant, but that’s pretty much the norm for families where she’s from. It taught her to be independent and unafraid of being on her own (even if it’s what she fears most of all).

She’s one of those people whose professional reputation differs wildly from her personality. Where she comes from, she’s known for being shrewd, efficient, careful, exact, inventive, and put together, like the most renowned surgeons in the country. In reality, she’s sweet, soft, bubbly, excitable, smiley, and caring - basically a big sweetheart. 

Mel gets self-conscious about little things, like if she’s walking weird, or if she’s holding something incorrectly, or is something about her appearance slipped slightly and is drawing too much unwanted attention.

She absolutely loves her job. It lets her be as creative as she wants while still technically being an academic research position. If she could wear sandals and sundresses to her job, she totally would.

Bending the rules to the point where they almost break and manipulating technicalities is her favorite hobby. She tends to get into trouble because of her curiosity, though, not her penchant for acts of medium-rebellion.

Gross things are her absolute jam. Especially gross medical things. She got excited about a severed arm once because it was the most exciting thing to happen that week.

FRED

Oh, Fred. Hapless, but happy to be so. The terrible gardener.

Life has taught Fred to always look on the bright side. It’s makes it easier to see and lightens your life. He’s an unfailing optimist in all the best ways, and a few of the most annoying. 

He wears matching pajamas. They were not gifts. He never forgets a birthday. He wears house slippers. He loves lasagna and casseroles. He loves dad jokes and really clever puns. He admires rule-breakers but would never consider doing so himself, oh no. One time he found a $20 on the ground when he was 10 and he went door to door asking everyone if it was theirs. He grew up in a tiny town and they all adored little Freddy. 

He met his ex-wife at a puzzle competition. He was curious, she was competing.

As expected, Fred accidentally injures himself a lot. He’s Gemma’s most frequent customer, so frequent, in fact, that she has a special storage container labelled “FRED” that’s filled with ingredients and stock-piled potions, poultices, and salves so she always has them on-hand for his surprise visits. 

His blog does decently well, too! It’s about medieval French and English living. He does all his research online and in Treena’s personal library. They’re study buddies. (I have a feeling he and Mel will get along in this respect.)

A while ago, right after Fred moved to Linsay, he started a backyard garden. Now, he’s not a very good gardener, but he tries, and that’s what counts. It’s almost like his plants can tell, because some of them are healthier and happier than some of the ones in Gemma’s greenhouse. He built all the raised beds himself and spends a lot of time learning how to take care of his vegetables.

MARY

Mary had a hard life before she came to Linsay. Her husband was a terrible person, to put it lightly, and she escaped an awful situation all on her own and set out to find a better home. She’s her own hero.

She paints in her free time, and she has quite a lot of it. Mainly portraits, but the occasional landscape works its way in there if something catches her eye. And yes, she totally sells her paintings and crafts on Etsy. She’s besties with the post office workers.

Growing up, Mary was the one Gemma could go to for anything and not get any judgment. Jill might make some comments, Harry would guilt her a bit, and Treena would try to analyze the problem. But Mary let her talk and get all of her confusion out and then walked her through a solution without making her feel bad for wondering. This was very important for little Gem, since her mom left before she turned 15.

Mary Knows. It’s sort of the town motto. You don’t know who said that thing about the song you like? Mary knows. Who’s dating who? Mary knows. What’s the new item Harry’s planning on adding to the menu? Mary knows.

Her hugs are the best in town. She’s the warmest of all my characters. She’s sort of an amalgamation of four people I know. 

Jill

I’ve had the hardest time writing for Jill, and not just because she’s the polar opposite of my own personality. She’s kinda hard to nail down. She likes it that way. Ugh, Jill, please make it easier on me.

Jill loves grape popsicles. She owns a patent, which is how she earns her money, but no one knows what it is and she won’t tell anyone. She likes being mysterious. If you ask her the right questions, though, she’s an open book. She doesn’t like flutes. 

Her late wife’s name is Nadiya. She called her Diva.

She helps Gemma and Treena keep their old books from falling apart.

TREENA

Man, I love Treena! Her backstory is so cool! And it makes the story world so interesting!

Of all the Ladies, she might be my favorite, other than Harry. Treena worked hard to get into college, worked harder to get into her master’s program, and worked even harder to earn her PhD, because some things happened during her PhD years that made everything in her life a whole lot harder.

Treena knows people in high places. Unfortunately, she can’t contact those people because reasons.

She’s the biggest folklore nerd you’ll ever meet. That was her degree, actually. She specialized in Fae lore. Which is super cool. Even though she’s super proud of her work, she doesn’t talk about it a whole lot. At all, really. Barely anyone knows that she is the Treena Rivers of folk lore academia fame. She did help Gemma get some of her magic university contacts, though. 

She and Gemma bring their books to Jill’s place and they all hang out together while Jill works on the books. 

Treena is the quiet kind of interloper. She waits and watches until the time is right to spring her trap. She is an amazing wingwoman. If someone needs help responding to a text, she’s the go-to. When she gets mischievous, she plays her tricks with a warm smile. 

Treena is very convincing. Like, it’s almost scary. She says she learned from the best, and everyone is nervous that there’s someone out there who’s better than Treena at talking to people. She is very chill, but not to be messed with unless you know her.

Aaaaand that’s it for this ask! Phew. 

WIP Intro Post | H2H WIP Tag | Character Page | WIP Page

Character Tags: Gemma | Mel | The Ladies | Fred Coriander | Officer Oz

OC Intros: Harry | Mary | Oz | Jill | Treena | Fred | Gemma | Mel

(Let me know if you want to be added or removed!)

Tag List: @katekyo-bitch-reborn, @cawolters, @wasting-ink-not-youth, @quilloftheclouds, @snickertoodles, @mvcreates, @writeness, @carmenwrites

#penzag #ender answers #my OCs #OCs #heart to heart #OC asks #Mel #Fred #the ladies: Mary #the ladies: Treena #the ladies: Jill #tungle ate the first draft of this post and I lost *everything* #I'm so salty #but I remembered what I wrote thank goodness

[taz-writes]

10 Questions Tag Game

@micastarsandmirrors tagged me on my main blog for this, but I’m posting it here because it seemed more appropriate. :>

1. Which author(s) inspires you the most?

Oof, hard question! Recently I’ve been really inspired by Terry Pratchett’s Discworld series--I love how he deconstructs fantasy as a genre. Guards! Guards! is one of the best books I’ve read in a very long time. 

2. Someone from a different world asks you, “Show me the song of your people” which earth song would you play for them?

Madeon’s Pop Culture. It’s such a genius reimagining of SO many other songs, and it encapsulates modern pop musical culture in a way that’s really fantastic. I love it. It’s not actually my favorite song, but as an example to an alien of what Earth music is, it’s a pretty good case study. 

3. How did you get the idea for your current WIP?

Feilan is drawn from the mythology of a recess game I used to play with my friends in elementary school. My friends and I would team up and LARP as our super cool powerful fairy avatars and fight the annoying boys from the classroom next door evil! As we grew up, the lore of Fairyland grew darker and more complicated, and I borrowed bits and pieces of dozens of other stories to glue them to my self insert and my friends’. We grew out of the game, but the paracosm we’d created stuck with me. Around sixth grade, I started putting those old recess games into writing! 

4. Which of your characters is a lover not a fighter and which is a fighter not a lover?

Honestly, most of my characters are both! Feilan is an action story and the majority of the cast is prepared to throw down at any time. I think Lavender is the lover-not-a-fighter. She’s a healer, after all, and she prefers to avoid conflict. The fighter is definitely Amalie. 

5. Do you listen to music while you write? If so, what do you listen to?

Sometimes! It depends on my mood, and what kind of scene I’m trying to write. Usually, I prefer instrumental music. I have a class at school where the homework is just listening to a few hours of classical music, so I’ll do that a lot while I write. Otherwise... video game music is the way to go. Undertale has a freaking amazing soundtrack. Also, I’m still quite fond of the Homestuck music albums.... They have a lot of great songs for setting a mood. 

6. What’s the best way to piss off your main OC?

Tell her she’s not good enough to be worthy of something. Bonus points if you imply her opinions don’t matter, or bring up her birth status. That’ll get her riled up in half a second flat. 

7. What inspired you to write your current WIP(S)?

Oh boy here we go, here’s the novel. Feilan’s backstory is long and very emotional.

When I was growing up, I could never find stories to read that actually gave me what I wanted. I was raised on that early-2000s strand of Girl Power(tm) that was really obsessed with characters who are girls fighting the patriarchy and everyone cares that they’re girls because there’s clearly nothing more important about their characters........ Either that or they were just straight up annoying. I adored Winx Club but every time the girls went shopping another piece of me died. I had a well-established Not Like Other Girls complex but at the same time reading characters who thought like that was really annoying? There were a lot of things I hated in the stories I read growing up: inescapable love interests, tiny sparkly boring fairies, the anti-sue genre of Plain Modest Protagonists who aren’t allowed to be powerful or even aware that they could be, female characters who can’t do anything without reminding us that they’re girls and girls can’t normally do this but I can and look how special that is!!, the inevitable Girl Media Shopping Montage... et cetera. 

I didn’t want that. I wanted Lord of the Rings, but with girls, and maybe a cute boy!Galadriel. I wanted a story where girls being heroes wasn’t a big deal, or even worth questioning. I couldn’t find those things, so I decided I’d make my own, drawn out of my shameless childhood power fantasies. Feilan is an aggressive defiance of pretty much all the tropes in the last paragraph. I’ve stuck to it so doggedly because even now, I still have trouble finding stories with the kinds of characters I want to read about. I’ve always been super invested in stories about characters who are Like Me, who are girls with feminine and masculine interests, who have ADHD but are still smart anyways, who are short and built strong instead of slender. I used to refuse to watch cartoons unless there was at least one blonde girl that I could latch onto who wasn’t a stereotype Popular Girl. More recently, I want to see characters who are bi like me, where nobody makes a big deal out of it. I don’t even like romance stories, I don’t understand why it has to matter if X likes girls and boys! Just let her do that and get her girlfriend and get back to saving the world! And I fucking hate stories that pretend to be progressive by driving in over and over again how X character is a girl, X character is so gay--the ultimate result is just reminding me that I’m weird somehow. By... being a person, I guess. I hate those narratives so much but especially in mainstream YA, they’re practically inevitable? 

So I wanted to write Feilan so I could have the story I wanted to read but never found, about characters who are like me and dealing with my problems and my strengths and my fears. And I’ve kept writing it because I still want that, and I want Feilan to be that story for other people too, because I don’t think I’m alone here. It’s also a major outlet for my emotions. 

This is a long answer, but I think it’s pretty clear why. :)

8. What is the last book/series you finished reading?

The last book I read was an English translation of Ghost Opera by Mercedes Roffe, which I read for a class I’m taking right now in the art of translation. It’s very far away from my usual fantasy genre, but I really enjoyed it! If you like neat artsy poetry, give it a look sometime, especially if you speak Spanish and can experience it in the original language. 

9. What finally made you say, “Wow! I really like writing, I’m gonna keep doing this”?

When I was in fourth grade I won a local writing contest with a cute little poem about nature, and I got to go to a book fair event and read it out loud in a fancy auditorium, and I was SO UNBELIEVABLY STOKED. My mom was really proud of me, too. A couple people complimented the poem to me afterwards and it made my year. I decided that I wanted to win again the next year, and started taking poetry more seriously. 

10. What’s your favorite thing about writing?

Rereading my work. It’s so incredible to me sometimes, because I can and will cry over events in my own story, and I get so happy reading over the triumphs of my own OCs that I wrote out with my own hands and there’s something so beautiful and powerful about seeing these ideas that I created in my brain grow wings and fly. I cried a lot, when I printed out the first draft of Feilan’s book 1 and held it in my hands. That’s mine! I did that! I did all of that, and now I can hold it and see it and show people! 

I’m now tagging @pumapauus @greenhousewriting @jaidynwrites @hklunethewriter and anyone else who’s interested to answer these 10 questions, then write your own and pass it on! Feel free to ignore if you don’t have the time :) Anyone else who sees this and is interested, you’re welcome to answer too and say I tagged you!

1. What does your workspace look like? Do you have a designated ‘writing area’? 

2. Do you prefer to write solo heroes or ensemble casts? 

3. Which of your characters reminds you the most of yourself?

4. What’s one trait your main OC has that you wish you had, too?

5. Have you changed or removed any major elements of your current WIP since its original draft/concept? What was the biggest change, and why did you make it? 

6. If you had to give your main WIP a theme song, what would it be?

7. What’s your favorite non-writing-related hobby?

8. What are some of your favorite books? 

9. What’s your favorite trope to read and/or write? What’s your least favorite? 

10. What do you love most about your own work and why? 

#taz talks #tag game #i got reasonably emotional over some of these answers lol