#my brain is currently in overdrive mode as well

[baekuras]

me, noting it is almost 1am: hmm i should be responsible and go to sleep my brain out of nothing: hey wanna rewatch Black Sails? here are all memorable moments at once you remember aka basically the entire show lol me: ...

#txts #my brain is currently in overdrive mode as well #thinking of: art work game animatic show(black sails) show (prehistoric planet) show (fear the walking dead??) game(re4r) game(star rail) #at any given moment in time #i havent drawn in days? weeks? unclear it feels like eternity #and i really wanna do that again but am also too jittery too #*to #oh also sculpting in blender-add that to the list #add that to working 9am to 7pm and yeah...i dont have enough time for all of this #i also need to like...eat and do chores and take care of my body #hraaaaaaaaaaaaaagh #anyhow...black sails...speedrun....incoming i guess #maybe not tonight but like #who knows

[chaoticevilbean]

Another Star Wars AU, TBN*

*To-Be-Named

I love time travel. A lot. So here is a time-travel au, with the CW trio.

Somehow, perhaps by touching a Sith artifact, perhaps by the Force deciding they should, perhaps from some sort of weird ritual the locals were performing that the trio didn't know about, Obi-Wan, Ahsoka, Anakin, Rex, and Cody travel aback in time.

[Please keep in mind that Canon Timeline has died tragically in a fire, and I am but the weeping widow with an inheritance.]

Due to whatever happened, they all also end up (technically) deaging. They still have their memories and their knowledge and skills, just stuck in smaller bodies. They can think and act like adults, but they also have to struggle a bit more to implement Older Skills in Younger Bodies.

Ahsoka is 2. She's nubby. She's emotional. She's tired and sore from her deaging.

She wakes up in someone's office. She's in a spinny chair, a big one with leather padding. It's kind-of chilly in the room.

She's not thinking, because all her brain is putting together is that she's still tired. She grabs the jacket off the back of the chair and pulls it over herself. She goes back to sleep.

Rex and Cody wake up together.

They are their actual age, which is to say they're both about eleven.

They find themselves on Mandalore. In the more wild areas.

(let me believe that there are parts of the planet that aren't covered in city)

(also, this is the Mandalore in the cartoons)

They find a teen trying to wake them both up. Rex has absolutely no clue what's going on. Cody has a vague idea, because this girl looks very similar to a picture he once saw...

Obi-Wan does not fare as well. He is 3.

He wakes up in someone's arms. He's just as tired and sore as the other three. However, he's also got more awareness because he's in someone's arms.

He looks up to see who's carrying him.

He looks around at the people walking with them.

He starts crying. He cannot help this, as he is suddenly flooded with Emotions, and he is Smol. Smol = harder to handle Emotions.

Because Qui-Gon is walking right next to him, tapping away on a holopad as they go. Dooku is on his other side, on a comm call where both parties sound very tired.

And Obi-Wan is being held... by Obi-Wan.

So, yeah, not that great for a suddenly Smol Obi.

Now, Anakin is 8, so he's better off in that perspective.

But he wakes up on some remote planet without anyone around. He just was in the middle of a group, so he ends up kinda panicking.

Then he hears something coming towards him, and he panics more.

He's Tiny! He's Smol! He's massively at a disadvantage against attacks! He can't fight off whatever is on a planet like this!

It's Mace (and Depa).

Anakin, however, doesn't realize this. He has gone Feral.

Back to the beginning

Jango Fett has been very busy w/Important Mand'alor Paperwork all day. He finally has time to go and relax a little, and he makes it all the way down to the exit before he realizes:

It is really cold outside. He is not in armor bc he was planning to only do paperwork today (though he still has many weapons). When one plans to stay in the same room for almost the entire day, one does not wear normal garb.

That said, he has no protection from the cold. He forgot his jacket upstairs. He rushes back up to his office.

He distinctly remembers that he left the jacket on the back of his chair, not on the seat.

He also is wondering what that lump is.

He arms himself, grabs some of his "emergency" armor plating, and walks over to the chair.

He lifts his jacket up, expecting a bomb or some paperwork that fell off the desk, or something logical.

He does not expect to find a tiny Togruta child clinging onto the fabric, whining as they're woken up by his yanking of the jacket.

Jango's brain stutters for a moment, then he kicks into action.

First things first, he wraps the jacket around the Togruta. They thankfully stay asleep. Then he turns up the heat, because he knows the office has gotten colder in the twenty minutes or so he's been gone, and Togruta are from warm temperate zones.

He decides to call, in this order, a guard who can help him watch the Togruta (they did break in, after all), a medic to check the Togruta’s health, and the first person he can find in his contacts that might know an adult Togruta.

Next group

Rex and Cody manage to get the teen to stop fussing over them for long enough to ask for her name.

Her, clearly lying, but that’s understandable: My name is Ine.

Cody, who knows exactly who this is now: Oh, kriff. You’re Duchess Satine, aren’t you? Kriff.

Rex: Wait, Satine? As in the General’s Satine?

Satine, now very suspicious and reaching for her stunner: I think you need proper medical attention.

Cody, looking down at their eleven-year-old selves: Yeah, I think so, too.

They agree on one thing, at least.

Next

Obi-Wan is crying. Loudly, uncontrollably, w/too many Emotions to even care that he’s supposed to be an adult rn.

Other Obi-Wan is very uncomfortable, bc he doesn’t know how to handle children too well.

They found this kid unconscious in the middle of a ruined, abandoned town.

Obi-Wan was meant to hold this kid while Qui-Gon did research and Master Dooku tried to convince the Council that it was entirely necessary to bring the kid back to Coruscant. Granted, they can still give the child to the locals at any time before they make it back to their ship, but apparently the Force is Being Loud.

The Force was Being Loud when it told Master Dooku to come along.

The Force was Being Loud when it led them to that town.

Qui-Gon and Dooku have argued fifteen and a half times on this mission, and an additional six times on the flight here. Obi-Wan is trying to mediate but also doesn’t want to overstep. The Force is Being Loud, sure, but the kid is also Force-sensitive so it might be something off that.

He didn’t argue with holding the kid bc he thought that it was better than being caught between the Masters.

Holding a crying child and trying to get two adults to stop arguing bc they can’t decide how to comfort the kid is not better.

Obi-Wan keeps walking past them to the ship with this baby. He does what he’s seen some crechemasters do to the younglings. The kid eventually calms a little, and he belatedly realizes that both Masters are still behind him, not with him.

NEXT

Anakin is panakin.

He is currently in a state of Feralness. His instincts have kicked into overdrive, full-on Survival Mode.

Depa and Mace do not know this. All they know is that there was suddenly an extremely powerful Force presence that started fading quickly (bc Anakin started shielding).

They burst into sight of Anakin and are suddenly attacked by all four feet and some of Feral Force Child.

It’s all they can do for a good minute or so to avoid losing their fingers, eyes, or untorn clothes.

Mace puts a few things together very quickly.

This planet is uninhabited by any sapient life. Therefore, this child is utterly alone. This child also is clearly strong in the Force, and knows how to hide their presence, for whatever reasons. Mace is a Jedi, and therefore is bound by certain duties.

He decides it is his Duty to get this kid back to Coruscant safely.

Back to the beginning

Ahsoka wakes up to find a familiar face looking down at her. She’s still tired, but not as much. She’s very aware of her size, and does a few quick observations.

She does not fully know who Jango Fett is. She does know that some clones run off bc they hate war and weren’t given a choice an- no. Not going down that path yet.

Ahsoka assumes, semi-incorrectly, that she was shrunk or deaged and somehow found by a rogue clone.

She knows it’s a rogue clone bc they’ve got weird armor.

So she does the logical thing and tries to comfort this clone bc he looks really worried and kinda panicked. She stands up on the spinny chair and tries to balance and he practically lunges to help her and she can’t help but giggle, but it comes out in a bunch of chirps instead.

The clone picks her up and looks really awkward so she pats his face bc that’s the best she can do bc she doesn’t want to disprove the fact she’s two yet.

For all she knows, this rogue clone has no idea she’s actually a Commander in the GAR.

He doesn’t, but for different reasons than she thinks.

NEXT

Rex and Cody go with Satine to the city. They have introduced themselves and said that they were separated from their aliit. They don't know where said aliit is.

Satine is highly suspicious by this point, bc these two kids recognized her with only part of her name, and they were alone, and they speak Basic with Mando'a thrown in.

Basically, she thinks that they're children of people like Death Watch, but she's too young to know that Death Watch isn't really into children.

Rex and Cody get checked over by a medic, but also start trying to get access to some working comms. They are refused on account of being suspicious children (which makes them a little upset bc they're not children)(Well, they are, but not those types of children)

They have not yet figured out that they are in the past, bc Cody and Rex only know that General Kenobi talks about Duchess Satine, and they know about Padme Amidala from General Skywalker, so clearly this Duchess is really young and the General simply viewed her as someone he wants to protect.

They are very very very wrong.

NEXT

Obi-Wan manages to calm himself somewhat now that it's just him and... him.

He is three, and he knows roughly what's happening, so he knows he should probably act like a 3yo.

Unfortunately, he has very little understanding of how child ages work. 3 is smart enough to go up the stairs and communicate with adults, but def. not old enough to speak sentences that are 15 words long with at least 2 5-syllable words.

Fortunately, his older (younger?) self doesn't know children either.

So when this 3yo starts telling him that he needs to leave the two Masters on the planet and head to Tatooine really fast, Obi-Wan is more concerned about the idea than the strangeness of "this is a 3yo suggesting this".

Obi-Wan is really good at convincing people. Including himself. He manages to get Padawan Kenobi to leave supplies where the ship is supposed to be and head towards Tatooine.

He says that the Masters will be fine, they know how to survive, and they need to be alone together in order to work through all the tension. Plus, it gives them plenty of time to talk to the Council.

Toddler Kenobi also tells himself that he'll take the blow and say he used a mind-trick.

Padawan Kenobi doesn't believe him yet, but Toddler Kenobi smiles like a very smug adult and says "you'll get there eventually". What he truly means is up in the air.

NEXT

Anakin, since waking up, knows much less than everyone else. Which is saying something.

He knows he's Smol. He knows he's Alone. He knows Someone has come and they are Strangers.

One thing about Anakin's instincts is that they are very much Survival Based. He was Feral when he joined the Jedi, only he had to hold those instincts back for most of his life bc of being a slave.

A slave cannot bite someone who approaches and Vibes Wrong.

By the time he felt okay with being Feral Out Loud, he also felt safe enough that he didn't need to activate his Survival Mode.

What I'm trying to say is that Anakin does not realize how strong his Feral Instincts are. He has absolutely no control over them rn.

When Mace decides to Help this child, this child is trying to Maul them.

Mace makes a small ruckus to draw Anakin's attention to him so Depa can move back. Depa pulls out her saber now that she won't hit the kid. The kid notices Purple and Bright and Lightsaber.

Lorge Jedi Mind says this is Good. Safe. Jedi.

Smol Feral Brain says this is Dangerous. Mean.

Anakin freezes on sight and just starts tracking Depa's saber. She does one of those things where a snake or something is focused and the person waves the fire or the food slowly to make sure the wolf is watching it and usually they toss the thing away so the snake follows it.

Mace instead takes this opportunity to wrap Anakin in his cloak. And Depa's cloak. And the spare ones in their bags.

Feral Child is not happy with this. Feral Child is also unable to scratch or Maul or do things other than bite and snarl.

Depa carries Feral Child while Mace comms the Temple and they walk back to their ship.

The Temple is having a field day.

First, one of their Shadows reports that a well-known bounty hunter got an emergency message from a pal of theirs that said Jango Fett needs help learning Togruta childcare.

Then they get a call from Dooku, which is not the mission report they wanted.

Yoda: Mission report, you have?

Dooku: Of a sort. We successfully spoke with the locals, then went to investigate a rather large disturbance.

Mundi: A disturbance?

Dooku: We found the source to be a Force-sensitive child.

Mundi: So you are here to ask for more time on the planet?

Dooku:...

Yoda: Bring the child back, you wish to?

Dooku, unapologetic: He is of an acceptable age to be admitted into the Temple, and no other beings were around at the time to entertain the idea of there being guardians.

The Council is sighing and muttering bc this is a Disaster Lineage (and they haven't even met the other two yet). Their call is interrupted by the sound of crying and Dooku saying the child's woken up.

Then there's another Shadow who sends a message saying a set of twins that seem like Death Watch were found by the heir of Clan Kryze.

Finally, to top everything off, they get a call from Mace Windu and Depa Billaba. Two very dignified, not-at-all chaotic Jedi from a perfectly respectable lineage.

Yeah, most of the Council and the Order itself forgets that Yoda had a hand in raising Windu. Yoda "Feral Grandpa" who throws children at every problem. Grandson isn't doing too well? Throw a child his way. Other grandchild is struggling to cope with grief? Throw another child their way. Oh, there's a war going on and newest grandchild is angry a lot? Here's a child!

The entire lineage has a soft spot for children.

Anyways...

Mace: Our mission was a success. We found the artifact and both specimens.

Koth: How long until your return?

Mace:...

Yoda: Found a child, you did?

Gallia: Master Yoda, that's a rather illogical guess. Once is unusual, twice is-

Mace: Oh, did Qui-Gon find a child as well?

Yoda, smugly: Bringing the child back, are you?

Depa, from the background, after a rather loud snarl is heard: We do not bite things, young one.

*more snarling*

Mace: We have no reason to believe he was not alone.

Tiin: *deep sighing*

Mundi: *mild confusion noises*

Koon, eagerly: Please send photos of this youngling. For the archives, of course.

Mace, nodding sagely: Of course.

*extremely loud yowl* *sounds of Mace turning*

Mace: DEPA!

Depa: He nearly bit off my finger!

Mace: That doesn’t mean you pinch him!

Depa: What else am I supposed to do?!

*sudden exclamation filled solely of Mando’a, Huttese and Twi’leki curses*

Mace: So, I don’t know if he speaks Basic, but Master Che should be able to talk him through a check-up.

Yeah, several Council members are experiencing headaches now. Normally, they would have some empathy for Mace and his own stress-induced migraines. They currently do not.

Right after that call, Dooku calls back to say that Obi-Wan has left without them.

Mundi: He left the child with you, right?

Dooku:

Mundi: He left the child with you, right?

Obi-Wan did not leave himself with the Masters. Obi-Wan has listened to Mini-Obi and is off on some wild space adventure to a criminal-run planet.

The toddler won’t stop staring at him. He asks for a name. The kid says to call him Ben.

OW: Is that your name?

“Ben”: It is a name I am called :)

OW: That isn’t what I meant.

“Ben”: I know :)

Ben also keeps staring at OW’s lightsaber. OW decides to make sure the kid doesn’t start playing with it when he isn’t looking.

MEANWHILE

Ahsoka has figured out that she was really very oh-so wrong. She’s on Mandalore. As in, the Mandalore that is under Jango Fett. Bc she’s with Jango Fett. He’s holding her hand bc she was nervous about the strange looking medic (who was just wearing armor, but not clone armor and civies don’t wear armor.)

Ahsoka knows very little about Jango Fett. Clone Buir, Mandalorian leader, tried to kill Master Kenobi. Also dead.

He asks how she got in. She shrugs. She is too small to fight back so she can’t let him know anything. Whatever everything is right now. But also, he doesn’t seem mean or evil or anything.

Oh yeah. Skyguy said that Mandos love children. That's why the clones were so protective of her, even with Skyguy on her side of the argument.

She decides to use this to her advantage. She can probably get herself a comm, and enough time to call the Temple. If she can convince them she at least knows a Jedi, then they can come get her and she'll work from there.

ELSEWHERE

Rex and Cody are getting really upset. This Duchess is really nice, but she's acting really weird and keeps insisting she's not actually called Duchess. No one will give them a comm, they keep getting weird looks for speaking Mando'a even though they're on Mandalore, and Satine's father keeps mentioning a Fett. Maybe Boba's set a bad example again.

Rex starts to fall asleep, to his chagrin. He's too bored, sitting and getting some abnormally extensive check-up. Cody is fine, but he's used to the calm that is General Kenobi. Rex usually has a Togruta teen in the vents and a Human that is never where he's supposed to be.

Rex does, in fact, fall asleep. His "twin" starts glaring when a doctor goes to wake him up. Cody makes it clear that his brother is like Cat: once asleep, you do not wake.

Satine is giggling, but trying not to let the others hear. Cody does. Cody looks at her. They have a stare-off.

Cody goes back to glaring at the doctors. He will not admit to any emotions besides Protect™.

BACK TO

Obi-Wan and Ben have made it to Tatooine.

#star wars #star wars fic #another star wars au #obi-wan kenobi #anakin skywalker #kote fett #cody fett #rex fett #cody #rex #ahsoka tano #disaster lineage #mace windu #depa billaba #jango fett #duchess satine #time travel #deaging

[namelessarcher]

Diarmuid | Mischief and Havoc

Diarmuid has always been thankful for the relationship that he has with you. You were, perhaps, one of the few that was not affected by his curse. It was a blessing, but also a curse towards himself. It made it harder for him to confess his feelings for you, and quite frankly it made it harder in general for him to actually do anything or say anything substantial to you without getting flustered.

He sighed as he walked around the halls of Chaldea aimlessly. Despite being one of your early Servants who have been around since the beginning of your journey to prevent the end of humanity, he still felt like he couldn’t cross that line between you and him.

Anyone would think that someone of his reputation would be more than capable of confessing to the person he cherishes the most, and yet… here he was struggling with his Master and the love of his life. Diarmuid leaned against the wall, waiting for you to be done with your preparations. You had said it wouldn’t take long, that all you had to do was gather up the reports you needed to file and that the two of you will be on your way to the command room. But for some reason or another, you’ve been running late.

It’s been over 5 minutes now… Diarmuid approached the door, and gently knocked on it. “Master?”

“Just- Just give me a moment!”

He takes a step back as he hears you approach the door. You quickly push the door open and nearly fall out of the doorway with all the report files in your arms. They were clearly rushed and quickly put together. Although Diarmuid swears that you finished them beforehand, he’s almost certain that you didn’t organize any of them in alphabetical order like you said you would. Although he took a step back, he quickly took two steps forward to ensure that both you and your important documents didn’t fall onto the floor.

“Ah, thanks Dia!”

Dia. He really hoped the warmth on his cheeks wasn’t from a blush, but he wouldn’t be surprised if it was. He willed himself to calm down and smiled, “Of course, Master.”

“Now then, I hope I didn’t keep anyone waiting too long. Let’s go turn these files in before Da Vinci claims I was slacking off since it’s almost Christmas.”

“Well, I highly doubt Miss Da Vinci could blame you for taking your time. Especially considering how hard you worked on finishing them even when you weren’t in charge of doing that kind of work.”

A sigh escapes from your lips and you mumbled, “I know.” You slightly clear your throat and continued, “But I want to lighten their load just a little bit, you know?”

Diarmuid sighed and fondly shook his head, “As long as you don’t overwork yourself, Master. Speaking of…” he glanced down at the large pile of files in your hands. Some of them threatened to fall out any moment and he reached over, taking some of the stray ones and some of the ones at the top of your load off your hand. “I’ll help you carry these to the Command Room, lest any incident may occur before our arrival.”

“Your help is appreciated!” you chuckled. You glanced around the hallways as the two of you slowly, but surely, make your way to the Command Room. “I see we’re starting to decorate the halls.”

“Indeed, it seems as though the holiday cheer is finally arriving in our area. The younger Servants are quite overjoyed by it.”

“I hope they don’t do anything mischievous again,” you sighed, “Last year they stuffed so many weird decorations into my room, I couldn’t even open the door properly. It was a struggle to even get in and out of my room.”

Diarmuid nearly burst out in laughter at the situation of last year. He remembered it clearly, it was the year in which you were still going to celebrate Christmas shortly before preventing the Incarceration of Humanity. Everyone was ecstatic, even the Chaldea staff members seemed more joyous than usual. It was probably that excitement that influenced the chaos known as Christmas decorations.

“It was entertaining though, wasn’t it?”

“That’s true,” you shrugged. There was a proud smile on your lips and you admitted, “Honestly, I’m just happy everyone was in such high spirits despite all that had occurred. We were on the last stretch, and of course, many of us thought we shouldn’t be celebrating due to the tension in the air. But… I’m glad we did. The memories we made then are precious to me.”

Diarmuid nodded silently, and almost didn’t notice that you were staring at him. He happened to glance over, almost out of habit. His gaze always, somehow, returned to you. He couldn’t deny it that his entire perspective of life revolved around you - much like how the moon circles the Earth.

“Dia?”

Your voice was like music to his ears, but right now, as much as he is like a sailor lured in by a siren, he’s embarrassed that you’ve caught him staring yet again.

“My apologies, Master, I was distracted.”

“By what? Christmas decorations? I don’t blame you, they bring so much life to Chaldea’s halls. Plus,” you paused with a bright smile on your face, “It’s so aesthetically pleasing!”

“They are beautiful,” Diarmuid agreed and glanced around. The hallways certainly were more festive than he could last remember seeing them earlier this week. It was as though as soon as November ended, Christmas came rolling out in full force. The festive decorations took over nearly every nook and cranny of Chaldea, and it seemed to get even more and more decorative the closer it got to the Command Room.

Your eyes lit up with excitement and you barged into the Command Room. “I have arrived!”

“And you’re not late,” Da Vinci teased. She gave Diarmuid a small nod and her smile slowly turned into a smirk, “Oh, well look at what we have here.”

“Hmm?”

Your answer was noncommittal as you placed the documents on her desk. Diarmuid followed suit, but Da Vinci’s glances towards a certain direction caught his attention and immediately he was on the defensive. His arm reaches out to shield you from anything and softly mumbled, “I believe Da Vinci set up a trap.”

“A trap?” Your voice was filled with confusion and then laughter, “Oh come on, what could she possibly have-” You cut off though when you followed Da Vinci’s glance and found a certain red berried plant neatly tied to the light. “Gods, Da Vinci did you put a mistletoe up there?”

“I sure did. Thank you so much, [Name] for assuring me that many people will fall for it this time.”

“Da Vinci!”

“Well, what are you going to do? It’s tradition after all, [Name].”

You glanced over to Diarmuid. It seemed as though your beloved Lancer was dumbstruck with the situation. If one could freeze over in an instant, Diarmuid is currently solid ice. His brain was in overdrive mode as he tried to make heads and tails of what was going on around him. Was he really standing under the mistletoe with his Master? How could he have completely neglected that one Christmas decoration? What if his Master doesn’t want him? What if they find the thought of it revolting?

“Master, I-”

“If you don’t want to, you don’t have to, Dia,” you cut him off. There was a sheepish smile on your face and you softly continued, “I know it might be awkward for you to kiss your Master after all.”

“No!”

His outburst shocked everyone in the room and he shook his head, “Ah wait, that’s not- I-” His words came out stuttered and his face felt like it was on fire. This was beyond embarrassing, and quite frankly, he had not thought that his confession to you would occur like this, let alone happen at all.

“I… I would be more than honored to, Master. After all… I am… quite fond of you, and would want nothing more than to stay by your side forever.”

Da Vinci held herself back from whistling, and you felt your face burn at his confession. You immediately grabbed his hand and yelled, “Not here!”

“Master?!”

“I am not kissing you in front of Da Vinci of all people!”

“Hey! Come back here, [Name], we still have business to do!”

But you didn’t listen to a word that Da Vinci said. After all, all you cared about was the fact that your feelings were returned - and that maybe you were going to get a kiss today from your favorite Lancer.

#diarmuid ua duibhne #fate grand order #fgo #drabbles #santa jenn delivery 2019 #mod jen

[sapphic-sustrai]

Team DMNO Bios: Melanie Hertz.

So, last time I shared the leader of DMNO Douglas Craig’s bio. It’s now time to talk about my yeehaw daughter, Melanie Hertz! If there are any errors, I will go back and fix them eventually.

Previous DMNO Bios:

Douglas Craig.

That being said, more will be underneath the cut.

Full Name: Melanie Celosia Hertz.

Alias: The Sizzlin’ Striker, The Monster Duo {an alias that she shares with Olwen, that was given to them by the Atlas Academy student body}.

Nickname{s}: Mel {used by everyone}, Melly {only used by Douglas}, Buttercup {only used by her father}, Annie {only used by Phlegon}, Flame Brain {only used by Douglas}, Blaze {only used by Olwen}.

Age: 18 {Vol. 1-3}.

Gender: Cis Female.

Race: Highland Cow Faunus, she has cow horns that curve upwards.

D.O.B/Star Sign: August 12th/Leo.

Romantic/Sexual Orientation: Biromantic Demisexual.

Handedness: Right-handed.

Complexion: Tanned.

Height: 5’3 {160cm}, 5’6 {when wearing 3-inch heels}.

Weight: 115lbs {52kg}.

Cup Size: C-Cup.

Body Type: Pear body shape, short, athletic build, medium-length legs, strong leg muscles, small amount of muscle on her arms.

Hairstyle{s}: 

Low-hanging braided pigtails, bangs side swept to the left side {Youth}.

Long-length style, tied into a high ponytail, bangs side swept to the left side {Vol. 1-3}.

Hair Colour{s}: As of right now, honey brown. When she was younger, she had much lighter hair, but it got darker as she got older.

Eye Colour: Hazel.

Aura Colour: Burnt Orange.

Emblem: An outline of a burning heart, with the bottom points separated and curved outwards like a cow’s horns and a miniature heart in the center. The burning heart outline is burnt orange and the miniature heart is honey orange.

Weapon{s}: Blazin’ Buckaroos.

Blazin’ Buckaroos are a pair of buckaroo-style cowboy boots, with a firing mechanism built into them {similar to Yang’s Ember Celica & Mercury’s Talaria}.

The Buckaroos are primarily beige, with honey orange fire designs etched in and mahogany brown bottoms. The branding iron soles are copper, with a rusty look. The spurs of her boots are bronze, with built in flint.

Alongside her kicks, she’ll primarily fire explosive rounds or streams of fire {almost like a flamethrower} from her boots.

Using fire dust, she can heat up the branding irons at the soles of her boots, causing her feet to become searing hot. Clicking the spurs at the back will ignite the boots completely, causing her boots to blaze up for a short amount of time. Combining these two elements is a deadly combination that adds tremendous fire power to Melanie’s kicks.

Dust can be inserted vertically into the two chambers located in the heels of her boots.

The boots are made with a fire-resistant leather.

Types of Dust Used: Primarily fire dust. However, she’ll sometimes use rock dust in tandem with fire, creating a magma element. She’ll also use air dust, allowing her to kick in order to jump higher into the air {it looks as if she’s walking on air}.

Other Equipment: 

Dust Pouch {where she keeps her dust crystals and it’s kept on the right side of her belt. It is hickory brown}.

Fighting Style: Melanie’s fighting style is a combination of Savate {French foot fighting}, aggressive precise kicks, and grapples. Sometimes she’ll incorporate quick jabs as well.

Semblance: Engine Burst - A semblance that allows the user to develop engine-like protrusions made of aura that manifest around her calves. This grants the user increased speed and extra kicking power for a brief period of time. She can only use her semblance in short bursts, otherwise it will cause her legs to lock up for about a minute or two. There are three gears, First, Second & Third. First gear is the standard, Second will give a bit more of a boost, and Third is the semblance’s, “overdrive”, mode. As of right now, Melanie can only access the first two gears, but cannot access the third. She’s attempted once, but this caused her legs to lock up for 24 hours. 

Other Skills, Talents, etc…

Vast knowledge of farm animals & how to take care of them.

Very athletic.

Has good driving skills, thanks to learning how to operate farm equipment at a young age.

Even without the use of her semblance, she’s the fastest member of her team on foot.

Current Affiliation: Atlas Academy

Previous Affiliation: Pharos Academy.

Place of Origin: Vale, in the agricultural district.

Current Occupation{s}: Student, Huntress-in-Training.

Team/Status: DMNO. Currently active, but will become inactive soon after the Fall of Beacon. Won’t be active again for quite some time.

Team Members: Douglas Craig, herself, Norbert Beaufort & Olwen Kunik.

Partner: Olwen Kunik.

Team Role: Melee DPS.

Status: Alive.

Positive Qualities: Optimistic, big-hearted {always willing to lend a hand to those who need it}, passionate, encouraging, nurturing, athletic, protective, daring.

Neutral Qualities: Stubborn, outspoken, dominating, assertive.

Negative Qualities: Impatient, hot-headed {impulsive & a bit reckless}, brash {in a noisy & overbearing way}, overconfident, blunt.

Likes:

Horseback riding.

Apple picking.

Being outdoors.

Knitting.

Going on hikes with friends.

Kickboxing.

Gardening {she loves growing vegetables & flowers specifically}.

Spending time with her niece.

Dislikes:

Green apples {she finds them too bitter}.

Ghosts {she has phasmophobia}.

People who talk trash about their families for no reason {however, she does understand if someone has a bad relationship with their parents}.

People who chew with their mouths open.

She’s not the biggest fan of romantic comedy movies.

She hates it when people make comments about her height.

Favourite...?

Food: Apples {red delicious are her favourite}, breakfast foods {ham & cheese omelettes, hash browns, peanut butter on whole wheat toast, bacon and pancakes are her favourites}.

Drink: Apple cider & orange juice.

Season/Weather: Autumn/sunny & slightly cloudy.

Colour: Marigold & hickory brown.

Animal: Horses.

Movie Genre: Thriller & action movies.

Music Genre: Country & hip-hop.

Relationships:

Ignatius Hertz:

Relationship: Biological Father, good overall, but he can be overprotective of her.

Status: Alive.

Melaina Chastain:

Relationship: Biological Mother, good.

Status: Deceased.

Phlegon Hertz:

Relationship: Biological Older Brother {by 8 years}, good.

Status: Alive.

Ashley Keen:

Relationship: Sister-in-Law, married to her brother, good.

Status: Alive.

Hestia Hertz-Keen:

Relationship: Niece, daughter of Phlegon & Ashley, good.

Status: Alive.

Hephaestus Hertz:

Relationship: Paternal Grandfather, good.

Status: Alive.

Melantha Chastain:

Relationship: Maternal Grandmother, good.

Status: Alive.

Brooke Mathers: 

Relationship: Closest Friend, grew up next door to each other, good.

Status: Alive.

Norbert Beaufort:

Relationship: 2nd Closest Friend, teammate, good.

Status: Alive.

Olwen Kunik:

Relationship: Close Friend, partner, friendly rival, good overall, but sometimes Olwen has to reel her in when she gets, “intense”.

Status: Alive.

Douglas Craig:

Relationship: Close Friend, teammate, good overall, but they do clash often because of their differing personalities.

Status: Alive.

Team RWBY:

Relationship: Friends, good overall, gets along with Yang the best, gets along with Blake the least.

Status: Alive.

Team JNPR:

Relationship: Friends, good overall, gets along with Nora the best, gets along with Ren the least.

Status: Alive {Pyrrha’s alive in this AU}.

Penny Polendina:

Relationship: Friends, good.

Status: Alive, then deceased, then rebuilt and brought back to life.

Ilia Amitola:

Relationship: Friend, crush, they don’t meet until much later on.

Status: Alive.

Early Life {Backstory}:

Melanie was born and raised in the Kingdom of Vale, in the agricultural district.

She grew up on a ranch called, “Woolwood Meadows”, that primarily raises sheep for wool. The ranch was started by Melanie’s paternal grandfather years ago. Her grandfather also started up a forge on the property called, “Hertz Ironworks”.

For most of her life, it’s just been herself, her father Ignatius, and her older brother Phlegon. Ignatius attended Atlas Academy and soon joined the military after graduation. Eventually he decided to settle down with Melaina and take over the ranch from his father, Hephaestus. Phlegon has taken over the forge on the farm and lives on the property with his wife Ashley and their daughter Hestia. Phlegon will eventually inherit the farm when his father retires.

Melanie didn’t know her mother Melaina very well. Her mother passed away when she was around 3 years old. Melaina was a Huntress who sustained fatal injuries while out on a mission. Her death was unexpected and the family took it hard… especially Ignatius. From then onward, he became overprotective of both of his children.

Phlegon decided that he wanted to inherit the farm when he was older, so he wasn’t the one he had to worry about as much. His worry over his son disappeared over time. Melanie on the other hand has always wanted to become a Huntress just like her mother… that worried Ignatius beyond belief and he continued to worry over his daughter’s safety.

It took plenty of convincing and begging from Melanie for Ignatius to allow her to attend a combat school. However, he wanted her to attend a school that was close to home and she would have to call him every weekend to let him know how she’s doing. So, Melanie decided to attend Pharos Academy.

When it came time to pick the next academy that she’d be attending, Melanie wanted to attend Atlas, but her Father wanted Melanie to attend Vale instead because it was closer. This caused the two of them to have the biggest argument that they’ve ever had and they didn’t speak to each other for about a week.

Phlegon stepped in and got the two of them to talk to each other. Ignatius finally opened up about how losing his wife made him fear about what could happen to his children if they weren’t careful. Melanie understood where her father was coming from, but that was no excuse for how he was treating her. Melanie finally told her family that the reason why she wanted to become a huntress was because she wanted to use her strength to protect those that couldn’t protect themselves. She also says that she wants to attend Atlas because it was the school that her father attended in his youth. She states that her two biggest inspirations in her life are her mother & father, that they’re the ones that inspire her to do what’s right.

Ignatius reconciled with his daughter and promised that he was going to try and ease up on his over protectiveness. He supported his daughter’s decision to attend Atlas and Melanie promises that she’ll call home every single weekend to check in. Not because she was instructed to, but because she wants to.

Primary Attire {Youth}:

Baggy Button Up Shirt {honey orange, top two buttons left unbuttoned, long sleeved but they’re rolled up halfway}.

Plain Shirt {daisy white, crew neck, long sleeved}.

Denim Overall Shorts {Blue, with gold buckles, a heart outline was sewn into the front flap}.

Shortie-Style Cowboy Boots {mahogany brown}.

Atlas Academy Uniform:

Melanie pretty much wears the standard Atlas Academy girl’s uniform. The only exception is that she wears her cowboy hat with the uniform.

Primary Attire {Vol. 1-3}:

Bull Rider Cowboy Hat {straw, with a mahogany brown hat band, brim & chin strap, usually wears it whenever it’s hot outside or during battle, when not in use it hangs on her back from the adjustable chin strap around her neck}.

Button-up Blouse {orange & brown plaid, first three buttons are left unbuttoned, short sleeved}.

Henley Shirt {daisy white, top two buttons left unbuttoned, sleeves cut off halfway}.

Leather Horseback Riding Gloves {hickory brown}.

Leather Belt {mahogany brown, with a gold belt buckle, dust pouch hangs from the right side of the belt}.

Denim Dungarees {brown, with mahogany brown straps, gold buckles, with belt loops, her emblem is on the front, the front is left open on the right side, while the right strap hangs from her side, she moves the right strap back on her shoulder during fights, pant legs are always tucked into her boots, 100% flame resistant}.

When not wearing the Blazin’ Buckaroos, she wears a pair of carpenter boots {hickory brown, with beige laces}.

Other Notes About Appearance:

Has dimples.

She doesn’t have a tattoo yet and is still trying to decide what she’d want.

Used to have her ears pierced as a child, hasn’t re-pierced them in a while.

Has a burn mark on her left calf. She was around 10 years old and there was an incident where she accidentally burned herself.

If She Had a Voice it Would Be: Cassandra Lee Morris.

Misc. Trivia:

Melanie’s reasons for making her weapon a pair of cowboy boots was not only because of her fighting style, but also because she finds them very comfortable to wear. She has around 10 pairs of cowboy boots in her closet at home.

On the ranch the family deals with sheep, alpacas and goats. However, each member of the family owns a horse, Melanie’s is named Autumn. There are also the three dogs named Bramble, Hazel & Maize. All of the dogs are Border Collies. Finally, there are the three barn cats named Pumpkin, Butternut & Big Max. All of the cats are all tabby, except for Butternut who’s a Maine Coon.

Melanie can play the fiddle, the banjo, and the guitar. She prefers playing acoustic guitars more than electric because It fits her style more.

She speaks with a strong Southern accent. When talking to someone that she likes {whether it’s platonic or romantic}, she’ll often refer to them as, “Sug”, which is basically the short form of sugar.

Aside from becoming a Huntress, other careers that Melanie has thought about pursuing were professional kick boxer, physical therapist or firefighter.

Melanie’s last name Hertz is derived from the German word herz meaning, “heart”, and was used as a nickname for a big-hearted person. Melanie and most members of her family are often described as some of the most big-hearted individuals in all of Remnant.  

Melanie never skips leg day.

That’s all that I have for Melanie right now! Any comments or critiques would be greatly appreciated and my askbox is always open! I’m thinking that I’ll be posting the next member of DMNO Norbert’s bio in the next few days or at least by next weekend. I’ll be posting again soon, so keep your eye out for it!

#rwby #rwby oc #team dmno #melanie hertz

[ranjxtul]

Fire and Reign-  Chapter One: Vitalum Vitalis

Witches AU Chapter One. Word Count: 7895 TW for violence. https://archiveofourown.org/works/19249039

The incident in the bar had fogged over in Katherine’s mind. She only remembered his face and his name: Henry. She remembered the beer glass flying across the room of its own accord, and nailing him in the side of the head, just as she’d willed it to happen. In the moment, the sheer oddity of the situation hadn’t registered due to the menacing, coercive man who hadn’t taken no for an answer.

Next, she remembered being kicked out of the bar along with the man for making a disturbance. That’s where things got far too vivid. Instead of leaving, the man had grabbed her from behind. Katherine fought, kicking against him and elbowing him, but Henry didn’t let go. He won the fight the minute his hand made its way to her neck and pressed down. Wherever he pressed sent Katherine’s body into shock at first then straight into a state of unconsciousness.

When she opened her eyes again, she was no longer in the parking lot of the pub. Fear coursed through her veins as the smell of nature hit her nostrils and she could hear no cars. She could also recognize the figure as the man in the pub lot. A rag was tied around her head and in her mouth, inhibiting speech. Grass scratched at her arms as Henry dragged her, her hands restrained by a rope. The rough ground tore scratches in Katherine’s legs and her arms ached from being dragged. He paused for a second and that was her chance. With as much strength as she could manage in her current position, Katherine writhed in her ties, and an unsuspecting Henry dropped her wrists. As a result, her back and head smacked the cold earth and a groan of pain left her lips. As she attempted to recover and get up, Henry got his bearings.

Ultimately, an injured, frightened, and confused nineteen year old was no match for an energized, large forty year old man. “Witch bitch is awake,” he mused aloud, bending down to grab Katherine’s wrists again, stopping her struggles effectively.

Witch? Had she heard correctly? What? She wasn’t a witch, right? Henry simply ignored the girl’s attempts at fighting and jerked her a bit harder than necessary to subdue her. A squeek of pain left Katherine’s lips. Her arms burned and her shoulder joints were on fire. Not to mention her legs and lower back stung from being dragged.

“Here’s good a place as any.” He stopped. It was so abrupt it shocked Katherine. Henry was smart enough not to leave her be now that she was awake. In his other hand he held a canvas bag. From within it, he pulled a length of rope. With an indistinguishable grumble, he knelt near her feet letting one knee rest its full weight on hers. Katherine bit down harshly on her lip in response to this new pain. The blunt pressure of his full weight made her knee burn like ice and fire simultaneously and somewhere behind the knee cap, something pulled and snapped.

This blinding pain distracted from his tying her feet together. Once he was satisfied with the knot he moved away momentarily to nail a small wooden stake in the ground. As the sounds of the hammer hitting the wood filled her ears, Katherine became aware of the tears streaming down her face. She didn’t know when they’d begun to fall initially, but now they streamed down her face without abandon. She wanted to scream, she wanted to fight, but she couldn’t as the physical pain began to set in and her limbs were incapacitated.

All too soon, rough hands took hold of her arms and dragged her back a few feet. Next she was flipped over onto her stomach and he put her arms around the stake he’d nailed into the ground. His calloused hands moved her ponytail out of the way and with no way to see what was happening the fear intensified.

For the longest moment in her life, time moved ahead sluggishly leaving the girl in a painful limbo. Icy, blinding terror pumped through her veins and her mind whirled. Why her? What had he meant by what he said, witch? She had no more time to contemplate these questions though, as for a moment a striking mind numbing pain bore down on her neck. Then, blackness.

The next time Katherine opened her eyes, she didn’t think she’d be back in that field with gentle sun beating down on her back. She’d been unsure in a belief of the afterlife, but she was sure the afterlife wouldn’t begin with her tied up in the same field. When she tested her joints and range of motion, she found that she could swing her arms over and off the stake and roll over to face the sky. None of the injuries from Henry remained. Hazily she sat up and took note of her bonds. The knots were rather simple, which she hadn’t noticed in the dark and blinding terror.

First things first, she had to get free. With some effort, she managed to loosen the knot on the rope that tied her wrists together using her teeth, so she was able to slip her wrists out. Raised scars circled them, presumably from the rope cutting into her skin, but why were they healed? Pushing that out of her mind, she began to untie her bound feet.

With each move and each sound from the nature near her, she glanced up, frightened that Henry would show up again. Now that she was free, Katherine tested the waters, pushing herself up slowly. So far so good, but she felt weak. Checking for any injuries, she ran her hands over her face and down to her neck. She stopped once her fingers brushed an angry raised patch. Her breath caught in her throat and she followed the line around her neck. No. How was she alive? Why was she alive?

It wasn’t possible. It shouldn’t be possible. What if he was still here watching her or came back and saw that she somehow wasn't dead? He'd probably kill her again As these thoughts swirled in her head, less and less oxygen found its way into her lungs and she found herself less grounded. He’d said something about witches, her being a witch. She knew they existed, her cousin Anne happened to be one.

She wasn’t really supposed to know, but Anne let it slip once and she’d sworn her younger cousin to secrecy. Katherine hadn’t believed it at first, but once Anne had set a glass on fire with her mind, she believed it. How though? It was a bloodline thing Anne had said. Nobody in her immediate family (other than Anne) was a witch to her knowledge. As chaos and the nagging paranoia that Henry could once again show his face whirled in Katherine’s mind, a certain fatigue took over. Later she’d learn it was from the magic she’d exerted in bringing herself back to life.

This fatigue forced Katherine’s brain out of overdrive and panic mode. Shakily and heaving for breath, she found the ground once more. She almost lay down, then the fear of somebody happening upon her told her not to. Instead she sat there, fighting losing consciousness.

It could have been hours before Katherine was able to steel herself and bring herself out of her haze again. She had no concept of time anyway. How long had she, or well, her body, been out in the field? Did she have any of the possessions she’d had or did Henry take them? She patted down the pockets of her shorts and the lump of a phone drew a sigh of relief from her mouth. He'd been careless or arrogant enough to leave it on her.

Perhaps she had enough battery left, but then again, did she have any service wherever she was? All she knew was that she wanted to get out of there. Her throat was practically sandpaper and she was unsafe so much in the open.

Scrambling up to a standing position again, Katherine strained her eyes to see anything familiar. With a frown, she pulled her phone out of her pocket. Its cracked screen was dark and with a silent wish, she pressed down on the power button, hoping for a miracle. Much to her surprise, the screen lit up.

Once she was able to view her home screen she could see just how low the battery was and that she indeed did not have service. Rashly, she started walking, hoping it was the right direction. How had no one tracked her phone yet? Then it dawned on her. Her location services were probably off, and she never set up her ‘Find my iPhone’ app like she was supposed to, an unfortunate mistake.

Time passed all too slowly and too quickly simultaneously. Once she made it to the edge of the road and had a bar of service she called the one person who might have answers: Anne Boleyn.

When Anne saw her phone light up with Katherine’s contact flashing across the screen her face lit up. “Jane! Aragon!” she screamed, hoping to get the pair’s attention from across the house. “You were right! She’s alive! She’s calling!” Instead of waiting for the blonde to respond, Anne picked up her phone. “Kat!”

“Annie!” To Anne, the usage of her old nickname made Katherine sound even more frightened.

“It’s me. I’m here. Are you okay?” She knew the answer to that. Her divination session with Jane and Aragon had been enough to prove that. The empath had been unable to clearly locate Katherine, only describing a field, but she had described the terror and panic. Aragon had then been able to hear a jumble of thoughts about a scar muddled with the word 'witch'.

“No! I have so many questions but I’ll spare you because my phone’s about to die and get to the point. He killed me, and now I’m alive again. He said I was a witch and that plus the fact that I’m alive again makes me think that maybe he was right,” the girl explained her speech coming in rapid succession, both fear and relief completely palpable.

Anne sucked in a breath. If what Katherine said was true, and she had no reason to believe it wasn’t, then she’d performed Vitalum Vitalis to bring herself back without knowing it. “Stay where you are! We’re going to try and find you and then we’ll sort out the situation," she said her voice betraying a sense of urgency.

“We? Who’s we?” Her cousin’s wary voice came through the phone speaker.

“Just- You’ll see. I promise, but please trust me. I won't let you down Kitty.” Anne held her breath, hoping desperately that Katherine wouldn’t question it. The sooner she could get off the phone and relay this information, the sooner they could find Katherine.

After a painful pause Katherine’s voice filled her ear again, “Fine… hurry though. I don’t like this, what if something happens? I want to get out of here but I'm not sure where I am”

“I can’t promise something won’t, but just lay low. We’re hurrying, I promise. We'll figure out where you are.” Anne couldn’t assauge a hypothetical worry, especially considering Katherine was probably alone on the side of a road, but she could promise that they'd find her. God, she hoped Jane could find her after she'd said that.

“Okay, I’ll try, Annie… bye. Hurry,” she added her unsure voice filling the silence again.

Anne let out a sigh of relief she didn’t know she’d been holding in, “Okay, great. Bye, see you soon.” With that, she hung up and practically shot into Aragon’s office, where she’d last seen the Supreme and Jane. “She’s alive. Jane you have to try and divine her location again. She needs us. She said that somebody killed her and then she woke up alive again.”

Instead of Jane responding first Aragon spoke up, “Was she alone When she woke back up?” Anne’s eyes darted to Catherine’s face, giving an exasperated eye roll.

“No,” she deadpanned, “she had a witch with her in the middle of a fucking field to bring her back to life.” In situations like these, Anne’s patience diminished greatly and she tended to filterself even less.

Aragon shot her a warning glare, “Watch it Boleyn. I had to ask. If that’s the case then she’s not just your cousin. She’s one of us.”

Anne had to hold back a sarcastic remark somewhere along the lines of, ‘No shit, but we could focus on that when my cousin's safe instead of wasting time’ which in hindsight was just as bad as saying it. If Aragon had been paying attention to her thoughts she would have heard it anyway. The blonde who’d been sitting adjacent to Aragon spoke up then, “So we should try to divine her location again. Do you happen to have anything else she’s touched? Something different than last time that she had a stronger connection to?” Jane asked.

Anne furrowed her brow for a moment, mentally going through her possessions until she came across an apt one. “Oh! I have a handwritten Christmas card she gave me? It’s not hers obviously, but she wrote it and put a lot of thought into it. Would that be better?”

Jane shrugged, “It’s worth a shot.” Anne nodded and all but bolted up the stairs to dig through her room and find the card. On the way up, she nearly knocked Catherine Parr over as the girl trekked down the stairs.

“Sorry,” Anne apologized, offering a smile as restitution before stepping around Parr, too set on her task to care for conversation.

Catherine studied Anne for a second, “It’s fine... You’re in a hurry,” she commented, “what’s the reason?”

Anne paused to glance back at Parr, “Kat, my cousin, she’s alive. She somehow called me. Jane’s gonna try to locate her again.” Before Parr could properly form a response, Anne had disappeared down the hall. Given the news though, Parr sped up on her way down and made her way into the living room where Jane was setting up what she needed and Aragon and Cleves sat in discussion on the sofa.

“You think it’s going to work this time, Jane?” Parr asked tilting her head.

The empath glanced up, “I hope so.” She didn’t sound too confident, but Parr didn’t comment on it.

She simply nodded and took a seat in one of the armchairs, "Me too."

At that point, Aragon and Cleves had noticed the curly headed witch’s arrival. “She’s one of us, Cathy. She brought herself back to life. At least that’s what Anne said,” Cleves informed Parr.

Her eyes widened, “Did she not know before that? Being naturally gifted with Vitalum Vitalis is uncommon. If she was though, she’s powerful. She has potential.”

Cleves shrugged, “Apparently not. We didn’t speak with her obviously, but Anne mentioned before she’d never shown any sign of being a witch.”

Aragon spoke next, “Regardless, when she’s feeling better I’d like to test her abilities and see if we can get a bit more of an understanding about them and of course work from there.”

Parr nodded, “That’d be good. You say she was killed... are we dealing with Henry again?” she asked just as Anne entered the room, holding the Christmas card from Katherine. She stopped at the name of the man they’d all unfortunately had too many run-ins with. The thought had occurred to her yes, but she didn’t want to believe it.

“Do you really think it’s him?” She asked. Parr turned her head toward the sound of Anne’s voice in the doorway.

“I don’t know. It’s very possible though,” she shrugged. “Especially considering his patterns.”

“We’ll have to see more about how she died first, but I do believe it’s likely. He’s the most active hunter in this area. We know he’s been picking off girls who didn’t know they were witches lately. We can only assume that’s an in-between project. People like him don’t get satisfaction of the little kills, so to speak,” Aragon said with a short nod in Anne’s direction.

“And what do we think his main project is then, and my cousin was not a ‘little kill,’” she asked bristling a bit at Catherine’s phrasing.

“We don’t know, but presumably a coven, ours if our pasts are any indication. He’s backed off for a minute like I said though. And you know I wasn’t trying to demean the deed, that’s how he sees it though,” she replied arching a brow.

Anne shook her head, choosing to focus on the task at hand: diving Katherine’s location. “Here,” she handed Jane the card. The blonde took it with a hum of appreciation before she set to work, letting her hands run across the card and her eyes fall shut. The group watched in anticipation. Several agonizing moments of silence passed with no answers and Boleyn found herself losing hope. What if Jane couldn’t figure out where Katherine was? Then her promise would have been in vain.

After what seemed like an eternity, Jane’s eyes shot open. “I know where she is.” The other four in the room all sat up straighter. “She’s in the outskirts of London.”

Once Jane had given a more concise address and it was decided the Boleyn, Parr and Cleves would go get Katherine while Jane and Catherine stayed back at the house, the group split, hoping to get to Howard quickly.

Aragon watched Parr pull the car out of the driveway before she turned to head upstairs with a sigh. She stopped when she saw Jane carrying Eddie down the stairs. Admittedly, she had a soft spot for the child, regardless of who his father was. “He’s sleeping better now?” she asked her friend with a small smile.

“Yeah, thankfully. It seems like whatever virus he had has run its course... Do you think that Henry was responsible for Katherine, really?” She asked knowing it was likely Catherine had understated her opinion in front of the rest of the girls.

Catherine nodded with a sigh, “I do. He’s tried so desperately to get to us for years and by killing those who didn’t know I believe he’s not only taking witches out, but baiting us. He knew eventually there’d be a familial connection or something. I told Anna, and she agrees.”

“So is it dangerous to bring Katherine in?”

“Maybe, but she’s one of us. We have to help her, and he still doesn’t know the location of this house. We’ll have to debrief her on everything including our experiences with him,” Aragon mused aloud.

“Poor girl. It’s got to be rough, waking up after being killed and now she’s going to be thrown into this feud or whatever this even is,” Jane frowned lightly glancing down at Eddie as he shifted in his sleep before looking back up at the other woman.

“Yes, but we can’t leave her in the dark or she could make a mistake without knowing it.”

Meanwhile, the other three girls had arrived and pulled the car over to look for Katherine. Within a short walking, they noticed a figure on the ground, clearly a female. She lay on her side, curled tightly into herself. As the trio got closer, Anne’s eyes lit up in recognition. Though they were matted and dirty, Katherine’s distinct pink locks shone through. Without a word, she sped up to a jog, only stopping once she’d reached Katherine. “Kitty?” She questioned kneeling to gently shake her cousin.

Even asleep, the girl was on overdrive so even the gentlest touch roused her. Instinctually, she jerked up and away from the touch. When she saw the person who’d touched her, the defensive shell cracked. Before her knelt Anne Boleyn, and without a word, Katherine threw herself at Anne, searching for any comfort. Now that she was safe, she let the fear that had been fighting with defense and survival anxiety for control, overtake her. “Annie,” she mumbled into her cousin’s shoulder. Anne immediately embraced Katherine and once she heard her name escape again, she tightened her arms around Katherine.

At least when Henry had killed her, she’d been aware of what she was. She could only partially conceptualize what emotions must have been coursing through Katherine’s mind in that moment. “It’s okay, I’m here. You’re safe,” she mumbled back, refusing to let go just yet.

By then, Parr and Cleves had caught up to Anne and Katherine. The two shared a look when they saw Katherine. They knew she was a teenager, but right then she looked so young, probably younger than she actually was. Parr cleared her throat after giving the cousins a few moments, “Hey, we probably need to get headed back.”

At the unfamiliar voice, Katherine pulled back from Anne’s hug to regard whomever the voice belonged. The two women’s postures were as relaxed as possible. The shorter of the two had curly black hair and warm brown skin. The taller had short hair and deeper brown skin. “Who are you?” Katherine asked eyeing the two. Presumably, they were part of the ‘we’ Anne had mentioned.

“Oh, these are two members of my coven, uh that’s-” Anne started nodding toward Parr.

“Catherine Parr,” the shorter introduced with a warm smile.

“Anna of Cleves,” the other woman nodded next.

Katherine nodded warily, “I’m Katherine.” She glanced at Anne again, her brows furrowing for a moment before she spoke again, “When you say coven you mean like other witches right?”

Anne gave a nod in affirmation as she stood offering a hand to Katherine. Parr and Cleves were probably right. They needed to get back and sort this out, and if this was Henry or any hunter’s new kill spot then staying longer than necessary could end badly. “Yes, there’s a couple more of us at home. We want to take you with us so we can protect you.”

Katherine took Anne’s hand after eyeing it for a moment and used it to pull herself up from the ground. “So… you do think I am one of you, that he was right?”

Parr nodded hesitantly, “We do We believe you brought yourself back to life.” Katherine’s eyes widened as those words left Parr’s mouth as she momentarily forgot the fear and exhaustion. Had she really been able to do that? In the moment of silence and still, Anne, Parr, and Cleves took a moment to observe Katherine’s physical state.

Much to their dismay a thick band of scar tissue circled her neck, a sight Boleyn had grown used to seeing on herself when she’d first wake up. She covered it with a choker now, for the bad memories just seeing it brought up. That aside though, it was Henry’s mark. Each hunter had a specific way of killing and Henry’s happened to be beheading. Finally, Howard’s voice broke the silence, “That’s… insane. I mean, I don’t know how or why I could be here otherwise, but still that’s just…” she trailed off unable to fully articulate her thoughts.

“We know babes, but we can talk more once we’re back at home and you’ve been able to shower and eat,” Cleves said arching a brow kindly. Not having the will to argue back or stall anymore, Katherine just nodded and Anne took her hand leading her back toward the car. The walk was silent as Katherine ruminated on how quickly her life had changed. She stuck close by her cousin though and at every little noise, she couldn't help but search for the source, fearing the worst. “How long was I missing?” She hesitantly asked, directing her question to Anne.

The brunette tilted her head to look at Katherine, “About three days. Your family was no help. In fact they were rather apathetic it seemed, said you’d come back home if you wanted. So, I took it into my own hands,” she explained.

“Well I’m glad you did for the record. It was terrifying to go through that and wake up and there and all of this… it’s a lot,” she frowned making a face that borderlined both terror and a general sense of being overwhelmed.

“I understand, and hopefully once we explain everything it’ll be a bit easier,” Anne said offering a sympathetic nod. She gave Katherine's hand a squeeze, wishing she could ease some of her cousin's pain and anxieties just a bit.

Once the now quartet of witches was in the car, the safe feeling that came from being in an enclosed space allowed Katherine’s exhaustion to once again override residual fear and confusion. Clinging to Anne’s arm and leaning against her, Katherine’s eyes fell shut again and quickly her breathing evened signifying sleep.

Cleves glanced back at the girl, checking that was actually asleep before she spoke. “I don’t have any doubts that it was Henry. That’s his mark, beheading.”

Anne sighed, “Neither do I. I just wish she’d realized what she was before. She would have told me and we could have protected her. Her life’s always been a bit.. rough,” she frowned. “Obviously that stuff isn’t my place to tell and it’s not that I’d ever wish murder on anyone, I just wish it hadn’t been her.”

Parr observed Anne from the rearview mirror with a certain fascination. Seldom did the feisty brunette ever display a particularly soft side and now that she was (at least to a certain degree) it clarified in Parr’s mind just how much Anne did care for her cousin.

“Well, at least she’s safe with us now,” Cleves said allowing her statement implicitly wrap up the conversation and leave the girls each to their own thoughts and Katherine to her sleep.

When they arrived back at the house, Anne shook Katherine awake, “Hey, we’re here.” A bleary eyed Katherine forced her eyes open partially, wishing more than anything she could just go back to sleep. Slowly, she took in her surroundings and the familiar sight of her cousin and pushed herself off Anne’s shoulder with a mumbled acknowledgment. She unbuckled her seatbelt and slid out of the car, making her way over to the other side so she could walk in with her cousin.

“What time is it even?” She asked finally taking note of the fading pink and orange hues that melded into purples further away in the sky.

Parr glanced at her watch, “Nearly 18:00,” she answered. Katherine nodded, piecing together time and the number of days Anne said she’d been missing. She was still attempting to right herself so to speak, and at least get a basic sense of things.

Cleves made it to the door first and pulled out her key to unlock it before pushing it open for the other girls to walk through. The first thing Katherine took note of in the house was the pure beauty. It had to have been an old house. Its high ceilings and spacious staircase screamed antiquity. Enraptured by the pure spectacle of the house and small pictures and trinkets she noticed along the way, she paid little attention to where Anne led her. It was only when two women entered her field of vision did she focus once more. There was a blonde perched on the couch and a tall, composed woman with warm brown skin and curly hair tipped in blonde that stopped at about her shoulders.

The composed one spoke first, “Hello, Katherine. I’m Catherine of Aragon. This,” she paused gesturing at the blonde, “is Jane Seymour.”

Jane offered a warm smile, “It’s lovely to meet you.” Katherine found herself shyly smiling back and giving a short nod in the newly named Aragon and Jane’s way. Something about the pair exuded calm, warm energy.

“You need to have some food and a shower so I’ll keep introductions short for now. You’ve already met Parr and Cleves. Jane and Anna are part of my council and I’m the supreme, the head of our coven. You’re welcome here with us and safe, I promise,” she added a small smile crossing her face.

“It’s nice to meet you all… thank you, really. Could I shower though and eat? I’m kind of,” Katherine trailed off vaguely gesturing to her person. She didn’t mention fatigued, but she assumed it read on her face, obviously. She didn’t want to be rude but the idea of cleaning up a bit was appealing.

“Of course. Could we speak over dinner though?” Katherine nodded in affirmation before Aragon continued. “Anna, can you show her to her room? Boleyn, I want to speak to you,” Aragon said.

Anne gave Katherine’s arm a reassuring squeeze before she nodded toward Aragon in acquiescence. Cleves shrugged, “Sure thing.” She held her arm out to Katherine with a playful smile. She hoped she could help Katherine feel a bit more at ease, “Come on, I’ll lead the way.”

“Thanks,” Katherine replied taking her arm after a second.

“No problem babes.”

Once the pair had left the living room and started on the stairs, Katherine found herself ruminating on what Aragon had said. “What’s a supreme?” She asked curiously.

“A supreme is a witch who’s able to perform the Seven Wonders. The Seven Wonders are the seven most ‘basic’ powers, meaning its possible for a witch to manifest them all. They’re pyrokinesis, telekinesis, transmutation or teleportation, vitalum vitalis or bringing something back from the dead, divination, concilium, which is basically mind control, and descensum which is descending to hell and being able to return. The Supreme can do all seven of these, plus whatever gifts she may have, like Aragon is also a clairvoyant. In short though, the Supreme is the most powerful in a coven. There’s usually one per every generation or two,” Anna explained.

“Wow… that’s really impressive. So what’s a basic witch like then?” Katherine asked as Anna opened a door to reveal a relatively barren room. The basics were in there like a dresser, a bed, a comfortable looking arm chair, and a night table, but other than that it was free of personal touches or possessions.

“Well, it all depends. Usually she manifests two or three strong powers or in some cases almost all of the seven wonders plus she can have gifts too. This is your room by the way. For now, let me get you some clothes you can wear and some other stuff you’ll need to shower,” Anna said giving Katherine a smile before letting go of her arm to retrieve said items.

Katherine sat on the edge of the bed contemplating the information Anna had just explained and since she’d brought herself back, apparently, that was one of her strong suits. She couldn’t help but wonder what else she could do or if she’d be good at anything else. Anna returned moments later with a pale pink hoodie and a pair of grey exercise leggings along with a bottle of shampoo and a hair brush. “Thanks,” Katherine smiled softly, standing to meet Anna to get the things she’d been brought.

“It’s no problem at all. Let me or anyone else know if you need anything. I mean it,” she added after a pause. Promptly, she turned to duck out and leave Katherine to shower and sort things out but stopped when the girl spoke up again.

“Thanks, I know I already said that, but I mean it too. I appreciate it.” Anna glanced back a smile on her face. Pleasantly, the smile Katherine wore seemed to have a hint of sincerity.

“Of course.” Katherine gave her another nod and Anna took her leave making her way back to her room for the time being.

In the kitchen, Jane and Aragon cooked while Anne sat at the island. “You saw her neck. That’s his mark, Aragon,” Anne insisted.

“I know, and I believe it was him. We just have to figure out how to proceed from here. She’ll need to learn basic glamours for protection if she were to see him ever again first and foremost.”

“I can teach her if you’d like,” Jane spoke up. “I know really anyone could but I wouldn’t mind it.” Aragon tilted her head in consideration. Jane was the most gentle of the group, (even if she had her moments) and Katherine was exceptionally new to all of this.

“That might be a good idea,” she finally nodded in approval. “Then you or Parr could also help her learn more about resurrection.”

“Okay, magic aside,” Anne piped up, “what about her actual life? She’s a uni student and dealing with her family isn’t a big deal, but are we really going to ask her to drop her life?” She asked unable to keep a touch of petulance out of her voice. Despite the fact that Boleyn respected Aragon, she still found herself resenting her on certain matters, her cousin's future being one of them.

That came partially from when Aragon beat her (by a long shot) in the Seven Wonders a couple years ago and also from their animosity over Henry. If she was honest, she hated that she and Aragon still found themselves frustrated with each other over fallout from dating a literal witch hunter. She supposed it came from the things Anne had said to her when Catherine was upset Henry cheated on her with Anne, and from her thoughts. It was difficult to hide things from a telepath when they were searching. It also came from how fiercely protective Boleyn was over her cousin.

“No. Of course not. I’d like her to do school online though, so she can focus on training here. Henry and his brethren are killing so many of us and whether we like it or not, he’ll find us eventually and we have to be prepared. That means she has to be confident in her abilities,” Aragon replied making eye contact with Boleyn. “I know she’s your cousin, and I know you care about her a lot. I promise I’m not going to force her to do anything she doesn’t want to.”

Anne blinked a few times, realizing Catherine had been digging around in her thoughts. She didn’t very often unless she told them she was going to or had to, but in some situations with Anne it was easier than pulling the truth verbally. “One of us should go with her and help her get some of her things from her flat,” Jane suggested wanting to glaze over the slightly awkward moment of silence.

Anne nodded, “We could go tomorrow maybe.” Aragon gave a hum of approval as she moved to pull a pan out of the oven.

By the time Katherine had finished her shower and trekked back down the food was mostly ready. The pink hoodie Anna had lent her hung off her frame but she was thankful for the clean clothes regardless. “Just in time, Katherine,” Aragon commented as the pink haired girl made her way into the kitchen.

A variety of fresh smells hit the girl’s nose. “What are we eating?” She asked curiously. She was unsure how long it had been since she’d had a freshly cooked meal. Usually she ate out or microwave dinners.

“Poppy Seed chicken and some carrots. What do you want to drink?” Jane asked looking over her shoulder as she pulled glasses down from a cabinet.

“Water’s fine I guess. Thank you, and that sounds really good,” she nodded taking a seat beside Anne at the kitchen island. “Can I ask a question? Like a magic related question?” She asked directing her inquiry toward the Supreme.

“Of course,” Aragon nodded pausing in setting the table to look at Katherine.

“Parr, that’s her name right?” she paused looking at Anne who gave a quick confirming nod, “she said I brought myself back. How is that possible? I get the existence of magic, I think. I just don’t understand how that happened or really why I even had to do that,” Katherine inquired.

“I’m not sure I have an exact answer for you, admittedly, but sometimes when a witch whose primary gift is vitalum vitalis, it only manifests in an extreme situation like that,” Aragon said, explaining to the best of her ability.

“Your soul still exists even after your body is dead, so somehow you’re able to conjure enough magic to heal your body while your soul is still tethered to it so to speak,” Jane added.

“Is that why everything scarred over then?” Katherine asked, beginning to understand in basic terms.

“Indeed,” Aragon affirmed.

“Anna! Cathy! Food’s ready!” Jane called from the edge of the kitchen, her call interrupting Katherine's flow of questions and train of thought momentarily. Seconds later, the sounds of Anna descending the stairs filled the air and Catherine Parr who’d been sitting in the living room entered the kitchen.

“That still doesn’t answer everything though… why did I have to bring myself back? Why was that man, what was his name… Henry, yeah that’s it. Why was he trying to kill me?” Katherine asked tilting her head.

All of the witches in the kitchen froze for a second once Katherine said his name. She’d just confirmed it for sure. “Let’s all sit down for dinner first. Then I’ll explain,” Aragon nodded, attempting to keep things moving along. She wanted everyone seated to tell the story.

Once all six had made it down to sit at the table and began eating, Katherine couldn’t help but glance expectantly at Aragon until she spoke again. When she finally did, Katherine perked up a bit, curiously. “I suppose now’s as good a time as any to begin explaining it all. The man who tried to kill you, you said his name was Henry, yes? Was he tall, blonde, middle aged?” Katherine nodded before she continued. “That’s Henry Tudor. He’s a witch hunter. We know he’s operating under someone, we just don’t know who yet. He’s been killing witches actively in the London area for about three years now. That’s why there are so few of us. So many witches don’t know what they are and he can detect us unless we’ve warded against that sort of thing, so he’s been killing us.”

“ We save who we can, and we’ve even lost a few members of this house under our last Supreme. I don’t blame her, but we did. There’s also a second house across the city where some of us live. They rallied together unaware of the central coven’s existence so that’s why they don’t live here. We weren’t going to force them to move. Anyway, Henry has specifically had contact with all six of us.”

“I was the first. He dated me before I became the Supreme, so three years ago. He was great at first, but looking back it should have been obvious he was angling for a way in. We didn’t know what he was then though. He cheated on me with Boleyn though and broke up with me eventually we can only assume he thought she was more powerful and would rise in the coven.”

Anne picked up the story next, “I’ll leave out extraneous details but when we started dating I didn’t budge. I wasn’t even part of the coven yet, but he didn’t know that because he was unaware of who exactly was a part of it or not. When he realized I was useless, at least for his goals, he tried to dispose of me. He killed me. Luckily, he made the mistake of doing it too close to here and Jane picked up on my terror as it was happening. She found me and brought me back to life. That’s when I first joined.”

“Unfortunately, it doesn’t end there,” Jane sighed. “I met him next and he was charming, exceptionally charming. I didn’t really take into account Catherine or Anne’s experiences. I didn’t want to believe he was the same person so I just kept him away from meeting them. Eventually though, he got me pregnant and somewhere in that space, Boleyn saw his face and identified him. After he found out I was pregnant, he pushed to meet all of my friends in an unhealthy way. It was like was obsessed with it and long story short that involved Aragon’s telepathy and some convincing, I ended up coming to the realization that he was the same Henry we’d dealt with before. I broke it off with him,” she finished her story, internally cringing at the twisted, competitive part of her that had wanted to be right in the situation and prove that her friends were paranoid.

“Did you keep the pregnancy?” Howard asked curiously from her spot across the table.

“Yes. My son lives here with us. You’ll meet him sometime soon I suppose. His name’s Eddie, well Edward,” Jane nodded.

Katherine nodded, “So how did he meet you two?” She asked nodding toward Parr and Anna. Normally, she would’ve come up with some comment regarding Jane’s son, but her mind was too busy at work piecing the story together to bother with social conventions.

“Uh, well he met me before I found the coven. I had a ward on so he didn’t realize I was even a witch but he harassed me for not wanting to go home with him. That’s not quite the same thing as everyone else, but I can attest to the fact that he’s a dick,” Anna laughed awkwardly. Cleves glanced down at her food, wishing she hadn’t spoken next. She often wondered if her experiences with Henry were even relevant. They had nothing to do with his malicious profession but rather his unsavory personality. In a way they were she told herself, but in others they weren’t.

Luckily, Parr’s voice filled the awkward silence: “He stalked me essentially, in the exact creeper way you’d imagine. He figured out where the house was somehow, but I’m still not quite sure how he figured out any connections I had to the coven I’d never seen him before. Fortunately though, I was able to erase that chunk of his memory. I would’ve gone for the whole thing if it weren’t for the wards.”

“Wards? Those are magic, right? If he hates witches so much why does he use their magic?” Katherine asked furrowing her brow.

“That’s anyone’s guess,” Parr replied. “He’s got strong ones though and we’ve yet to figure out the source. We’re working on it though, and once we know what type of wards he uses exactly, we’ll be able to dispel them and break them.”

“I know that’s quite a bit of information to take in, but you needed to understand the situation,” Aragon said hoping to wrap up the explanation phase of the conversation and move toward action.

“Yeah… so he killed me because he could sense somehow that I was a witch, and he’s been murdering us?” She asked a note of anger apparent in her voice. the five others nodded, allowing Katherine to process the information. The question remained unanswered as she mumbled, “That’s fucked up.”

“Will you stay here with us? We want to help you learn about your powers and help protect you from him. The grim reality is, he’s not going away anytime soon and we need to stay together. Anne’s already mentioned your university and maybe you could take online classes? You’re also free to move some of your stuff from home here,” Aragon spoke raising an eyebrow in Howard’s direction.

“I… Yes. I’m new to this and this a lot, like, really a lot, but I want to learn and if I stay we can survive better. Plus, I’m just pissed at Henry as much as I’m scared of him.” she said a determined expression briefly ghosting across her face.

A small smile of relief broke out across Aragon’s face, “Lovely. As soon as you’re feeling up to it. We’d like to assess your abilities as they are. You also need to learn the wards we use in public on ourselves for protection. Jane’s offered to teach you, and we’ll go from there.”

“I want to do that as soon as possible. Also I remembered this while I was showering about the incident. I think it could be relevant. When he cornered me in the pub because that’s how it all started, I was wishing and willing for something to hit him in the head so he’d be distracted and I could slip away. I was really focused on one of the glasses left on the bar and then before I knew it that glass flew into his head. We got kicked out after that and then he attacked me” she scrunched up her face in a frown. “That’s besides the point though. Could that have been telekinesis?”

Cleves piped up, “Sounds about like it.” She nodded in approval.

Katherine nodded to herself digesting the copious amounts of information as best as she could. “Okay next thing on a similar note. I asked Cleves earlier what a Supreme was and in that she mentioned the basic powers people could manifest. What all can everyone do here?”

“I’ve never tried descensum, but I can transmute, albeit a bit poorly, bring people back to life, I’m pyro and telekinetic and good with plants,” Parr answered first.

“You know I’m pyrokinetic. I’m also pretty good with telekinesis,’ Anne shrugged.

“I’m an empath and like you, I manifested vitalum vitalis first so obviously I can do that. I’m also one hell of a diviner,” Jane said with a light laugh, happy to answer the girl’s question.

“And I’m telekinetic and pretty decent at concilium. Being a human voodoo doll is just a plus,” Cleves grinned.

“A what now?” Katherine asked raising a brow.

“Watch this,” Cleves winked and reached up to her temple and jerked on a piece of her hair.

“Ow!” Boleyn mumbled beside Cleves as her head jerked in the direction Cleves had pulled her own hair. Once she’d recovered from the minor inconvenience of pain she elbowed Anna who only chuckled in response. Katherine couldn't help but laugh in response also.

A part of her was completely amazed by the powers these women had. They all seemed so sure of it to, and so in sync. Katherine supposed she'd grow with what she could do, but she wondered if she'd ever be assured in it as these witches were.

Once dinner wrapped up, Katherine excused herself: “I think I’m gonna head up to sleep now. This has been… exhausting.”

The witches nodded in understanding, “Sleep well!” Anne called as her cousin ascended the stairs. Katherine mumbled back a response, a bit out of ear shot for the five gathered in the living room.

“Well, she took all of that better than I would’ve in her situation,” Cleves commented glancing at the four women sitting near her.

Aragon nodded, “Thankfully. That could have gone a lot worse. I’m just glad she’s onboard. I’m not sure what we would’ve done had she not been. One things for sure, Henry could have easily found her again and he could have found us.”

#catherine of aragon #six the musical #catherine parr #anne boleyn #anne of cleves #katherine howard #jane seymour

[cummunication]

Could it Happen to You?

Someone recently asked me if after the first time I was assaulted I thought it would never happen again. “Of course” I said “I thought if I get it over with it’ll never happen again”. Obviously I was wrong because it happened numerous times after that with multiple people. We never think something will happen to us until it does. April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month (SAAM) which is an annual campaign to raise public awareness about sexual assault and educate communities and individuals on how to prevent sexual violence. The first time I was assaulted, I was 18 and it was my second month at a community college. I had a boyfriend but decided to let my (male) math partner drive me closer to campus. He did offer so it would be rude to say no. Little did I know, I would cry a little inside each and every time I was on Nichols road. He locked me in his car and although I said no numerous times, he didn’t seem to be getting the hint. “I should’ve yelled, I should’ve screamed I should’ve been more forceful, it’s my fault” I thought for the longest time. And then it happened… again. Just when I thought I put my worst moments behind me someone I deeply loved victimized me in ways I’d never imagine. He put a pillow over my face so his mom wouldn’t hear me screaming; he knew he was hurting me but continued anyway. Afterwards, my stone, cold body was shriveled up in pain as he whispered “I love you” in my ear. We never talked about it but to this day, I remember crying on the shower floor later that night for 48 minutes. “I should’ve just dumped him, I’m over exaggerating, he’s my boyfriend” These thoughts still haunt me to this day. Just when I was starting to heal it happened again with someone who was very well known in my community. I wanted to learn self-defense because I figured learning how to protect myself would stop anyone from taking advantage of me. Or so I thought… He wouldn’t get off of me. I told him no as he pinned my head to the seat. “I’m not allowed to say no” he told me “lighten up, we’re just having fun” I never heard from him again after that night. Why did I just sit there? Why do I always do this? Why do I always shut down in times I should be fighting not freezing?! Was it something about me that made him never call me again? Was I not pretty enough, good enough or skinny enough? Maybe he wouldn’t have done it then? These questions ran through my mind plaguing me for a matter of months. Thing is, it’s really easy to blame the victim when this happens. Why didn’t you just do this or say that? People often assume they must’ve asked for it and should’ve known better. “Boys will be boys” my mom told me. Why did you get in the car with a stranger? my sister asked me. Guilt and shame flooded my veins but it was all my fault. I was stupid, naïve and gullible to think anyone of the opposite sex would ever treat me with respect. I felt like a piece of meat each time I left my house; fearful of being hunted because of the way I was born. I swore off men, telling myself all they want is what they can take between your legs. I trust not all guys are like this and believe for the most part, people are good, albeit misguided at times. I sincerely believe we are all doing the best we can with the knowledge we have at the time and that’s what I have to keep reminding myself. Sure, maybe I could’ve kicked and screamed and pinched and pulled, aiming to get my attacker off me. However, for the most part, I was the prey and they were the predator . They were bigger and stronger and I felt helpless even defenseless, most of the time. For me, the worst part about being assaulted wasn’t the actual assault itself, it was the aftermath. Feeling dirty, disgusting, worthless and used, lasted much longer than the actual assault itself. The way my previous traumas have impacted my current relationships is something I continually work on. To this day, even if I’m not being sexually violated or physically attacked, I still freeze. My brain goes into overdrive and my whole body becomes stoic. My lips feel sewn shut while my head is in 1000 different places. This is often difficult for people to understand when they’re trying to communicate & I’m not responding. It’s not me being “immature” or “spiteful” or purposely ignoring them, it’s literally my body going into panic mode and disassociating as I’d done in the past when my life was threatened. This is the amygdala’s (part in the brain) way of protecting the person against a perceived or actual threat. It is an automatic defense mechanism and for people like me with c-ptsd, often gets in the way of effectively communicating in stressful situations. As far as my perpetrators go, I’ve forgiven most of them. There is one however, I must actively work on forgiving almost every day. I think most people believe the “worst” or most traumatic kind of rape is when a man jumps out of a dark alley, forcing himself on a stranger. Any form of sexual violence is horrendous however, from my personal experience, the most damaging was with someone I deeply loved and trusted. It’s a form of betrayal you may never get over. This leads to further trust issues in a potential relationship that may actually be healthy. Sadly, the majority of sexual assaults occur between people you know; whether that’s a neighbor, family friend, romantic interest or spouse. Unfortunately, it’s not so much the people you don’t know who you have to beware of, but the people who know your deepest secrets. So it is April once more, a year since that last incident happened. I am still in the works of healing and most importantly, forgiving myself. We forget sometimes that it’s not the people who have wronged us we need to forgive most, but rather, ourselves. This April, I hold more compassion for myself than a year ago. I no longer feel like a victim. I am a proud survivor, and so are you.

#saam #sexualassault #rape #survivor #sexualviolence #trauma #blog

[tiang0u]

i loved that one shot!!! and now i would for it to have a small continuation with todoroki taking slight advantage of Izuku's accidental confession to bask in his kindness and company and them slowly acknowledging the realm meaning of what izuku said along with what shouto's response meant!!

i informally dub you as warm anon! apologies for such a late response; i thought about how to respond and i really just was going to go small and write snippets of izuku caring and shouto smiling but i think this is my first time ever writing tddk purely for romance without ulterior motives like character study so i think it got out of hand and…characterization .really got away from me

i hope you don’t mind that i made this a prompt fill! this is written especially 4 you my friend so i hope it is satisfying to you on some level!

untitled, 2017“Sorry…but to make sure, Todoroki-kun,” Izuku says, “…likes me, right?”

Todoroki’s mouth opens. And then closes. And then opens again, before he leans back further and crosses his arms over his chest and sighs heavily and says, “Yes. I like you. Midoriya.”

tododeku, bnha, continuation to this! 

Maybe Todoroki didn’t think it was a confession, Izuku reasons the next day. After all, he has been conditioned to understand rejection in all aspects, and even if he never gave up on being a hero and it worked out, love is a different matter for someone who used to and still does lack in many areas. Like him.

So Todoroki probably was just advising Izuku to be careful about how lax he was with his words. He accepted that Izuku, strangely, wants to be kind to him. That’s all.

Except that’s not all–good god, now that he’s become aware that he likes Todoroki, this wasn’t even a reality he was prepared to face, or that he knew even existed, and certainly not when a free day followed. Today is going to be great.

Play it cool is his only option. He can do that. Probably. He’s never been cool a day in his life but he has played all sorts of things so that’s fine. He will be kind to Todoroki like Todoroki deserves (a lot), maybe Todoroki will smile at him again like that, and then he will hole himself up in his room and curse himself for getting all worked up, by himself, with himself.

/

“Todoroki-kun, I thought about it,” Izuku reports faithfully when he passes Todoroki in the hallway, near the lounge area.

“As long as you know,” Todoroki replies. Strangely, it is equal parts comforting and disheartening.

Izuku clears his throat. “Of course!”

Todoroki must see him floundering in his mind, awkwardly, because he offers, “You’re overthinking it.”

“Overthinking what?”

“Being kind. And what you said,” Todoroki replies. “Just act like you usually do.”

That confirms it once and for all–Todoroki really didn’t see it as a confession. Izuku sighs.

“Okay,” he says. He shouldnt even be feeling this put-out; it wasn’t even a proper confession after all–completely accidental and he basically rambled about kindness and something about peace and he didn’t even say…the L-word.

“–lunch?” Todoroki says to him.

Something about lunch. Before Todoroki heads to the hospital probably. He wants to have lunch. Izuku mentally claps himself on the back for his deduction.

“Y-Yes,” Izuku stumbles and when Todoroki looks at him knowingly, knowing he got lost in his thoughts again, he flushes and looks away but not before he sees that smile again.

Maybe it won’t be so hard after all.

/

Actually it’s really hard.

It must be him or that Todoroki sits closer to him at lunch. And Todoroki sits closer to him during their free time, out back behind the dorms on the grass. Todoroki sits closer to him (on his bed, on his bed)when they’re consulting each other briefly on Japanese history. Todoroki leans into his space more. Todoroki helps him pet a cat (suspiciously resembling the previous stray) by guiding his hand with warm, capable fingers, their arms pressed together limb to limb in one long contact point. No one even says anything when they pair up for sparring. No one looks like they’re surprised. Izuku must be imagining things.

And Izuku will probably implode, explode, or both. He was the one who essentially gallantly boasted he would be the kind one here and now Todoroki’s the one pampering him and now Izuku is completely at a loss because wow, one-sided like is kind of painful especially with the recipient doing his own version of doting. But it’s also pretty nice.

He isn’t sure how Todoroki thought he was kind in the first place, really.

Sure, he speaks formally, and he bows really low, and his voice can go pretty quiet. But sometimes he forgets to make his bed, and whenever Kacchan really makes him angry he could probably say a few things, and he runs Recovery Girl thin on patience, and he’s disobeyed Eraserhead multiple times, and All Might coughs up a lot of blood around him, and he always makes his mom worry and–well, Todoroki’s told him a few times too, how reckless he is. Todoroki’s face kind of changed this one time, recently, after he broke one of his fingers again.

/

A week after the not-confession:

“I’m not really living up to your expectations, I think,” Izuku mentions, off-handed, laughing nonchalantly. Inwardly, he’s seriously marveling at his personal failures. “I think I’m not as kind as you think I am after all.” What makes a person kind, even?

Todoroki looks up from his English homework and over at him. There are literally three inches separating them on the lounge’s couch. Izuku can feel the warmth radiating from him. Izuku can also feel the heat from the burning unrequited passion of youth. Good thing he’s all set for the coming winter.

“It’s not about being overtly kind,” Todoroki replies. “You’re always quite considerate.” He pauses. “And I didn’t particularly have any expectations.”

Well. That–okay.

“Those things you told me to expect last week,” Todoroki continues, “I assumed they were for granted. Since it’s your disposition.”

That’s…different but probably not better.

“You aren’t disappointed,” Izuku clarifies.

“No,” Todoroki answers. “This is comfortable.” And then, hesitantly, “Are you?”

Disappointed in himself? Or comfortable right now? To the former, sometimes, but Izuku gets the feeling it’s not really about himself–“Am I what?”

“Disappointed,” Todoroki says. “Right now.”

Well, if he could actually gather himself to confess for real, he’d probably have a better time. But right now, just being here with Todoroki is fine too. Todoroki is around him so often now that his heart can’t take it, but he will. Take it, that is. Whatever he can get. And Todoroki reclines against the couch; all of the hard lines have softened in his form, and he breathes so calmly that the air shifts peacefully. So, “No. I could never be disappointed,” Izuku answers, heartfelt.

“…Okay,” Todoroki says.

“Okay.”

Okay.

“I apologize,” Todoroki suddenly says.

Izuku blinks. and then momentarily panics because did he accidentally let something on? It was going so well? Todoroki did say this was comfortable but maybe Izuku has just made it uncomfortable and okay, he’s pretty good at that but he’s also good at apologizing too so–

“I also–apologize,” Izuku says quickly, but Todoroki holds up a hand.

“It has been a week,” Todoroki says, like he’s admitting something. “But on my end, I am new to this, so the protocol for…this sort of thing is not familiar to me. I was assuming you would take initiative like you did before.”

Izuku is so hilariously lost that his textbook slides off his lap and hits the hardwood with a resolute clunk.

“Take…initiative,” he repeats slowly.

“You’re new to this as well,” Todoroki notes.

Certainly, since he has no idea what’s going on.

What’s happening, Izuku thinks. “Todoroki-kun, what’s happening?” he repeats out loud.

“I’m embarrassing you again,” Todoroki sighs.

“No, I’m just…lost,” Izuku says. “I don’t really understand.” And the way Todoroki is frowning is painful; it’s a different kind of frown that is even more vulnerable, a frown specific to Izuku this time, he put that there, so he definitely has to fix it now. “I…think that you don’t have to be so troubled, Todoroki-kun.”

When the frown deepens, Izuku’s distance to panic mode decrements.

He mutters, “I’m really…bad at this.”

Todoroki grimaces. “I’m worse.”

“You’re not!” Izuku protests, immediately, and surprise flickers across Todoroki’s face. “Todoroki-kun, don’t look so troubled, really.”

He reaches out instinctively. Todoroki just said ‘I’m worse’ and if being kind was Izuku’s intention then he’s completely screwed up, and being as lost as he is currently is probably even more upsetting, so he clasps Todoroki’s shoulder, and he says, up close, confident, but also bullshitting, “I think being comfortable is more important. Whether it was last week or two weeks ago, you should…find your footing first.” Whatever it is. Izuku can also back off– “I can also–”

“Midoriya,” a soft sigh interrupts. “There you go again. Being kind.”

Wow, was Todoroki this close before? His right eye is grey like a maelstrom on the sea. And his left eye is startlingly blue like the sky and Izuku could probably count the flecks of light like clouds in them. And the lines of his scar have a story that only Izuku knows, and Todoroki isn’t angling that side of him away, and–

“Th-This isn’t even being–” Izuku splutters, but doesn’t finish.

Because Todoroki leans forward. and. kisses. him.

His brain does not short-circuit. In fact, it goes into overdrive. The brain controls blood flow, right? Well, thanks to his medulla, his face has enough blood to rival a blood bank. Todoroki is kissing him. Todoroki’s mouth is also very soft. And it is not half cold and half hot like he expected. It is warm. A very good temperature. And their noses are brushing and also as expected, Todoroki’s nose is not only shaped nicely up close and far away, but the feel of it against his own is also very nice. And Izuku should start kissing back around now. So he does. He presses forward experimentally because wow, maybe he misread this past week after all. So it was a confession that Todoroki accepted. So…they’re an item? So that means Todoroki really was sitting closer to him all those times and intentionally partnering up with him for sparring more often? But no one was surprised? That is an outlier and wow, okay, this change in angle is also an outlier, Todoroki said he was new to this but he just expertly deepened the kiss so what is really the truth–?

“Midoriya,” Todoroki says, ending the kiss, catching his breath, wiping his mouth. A mouth housing a tongue that was previously in Izuku’s own mouth, Izuku belatedly realizes.

Lewdly, a string of saliva breaks between them. His first kiss was not closed-mouth and chaste with his first love like he expected. (It was actually with his first All Might figurine anyway.)

“Yes,” Izuku answers breathlessly.

“You were…” Todoroki furrows his brow–and then he laughs. “You mumble.”

His laugh is like music. Maybe it could play at Izuku’s funeral.

“Sorry…but to make sure, Todoroki-kun,” Izuku says, “…likes me, right?”

Todoroki’s mouth opens. And then closes. And then opens again, before he leans back further and crosses his arms over his chest and sighs heavily and says, “Yes. I like you. Midoriya.”

Hero analysis for the future. Izuku needs to work on that. Seriously.

“I like you too,” Izuku returns quickly, and Todoroki shifts in pose, almost like he’s embarrassed, even if his face doesn’t show it.

“A lot,” Izuku adds, and Todoroki grimaces. Or that’s a smile. Izuku will treasure it either way.

“Glad that we’re on the same page then,” Todoroki finally says, even though Izuku only finally flipped to it ten seconds ago.

“Me too,” Izuku says. Todoroki probably doesn’t understand just how glad he is. He almost lived his entire life thinking his first successful love was actually unrequited.

Crisis averted.

“…Dinner then?” Izuku asks.

Todoroki smiles again. “Okay.”

This one is new.

This one is for Izuku only.

“Usually, most of them are,” Todoroki says.

Oh, he said that out loud.

#tododeku #bnha fic #writing #one-shot #anon #replies #prompt! #lol i wrote and edited this purely from my phone i'm sorry in advance for autocorrect and typos and anything that's lowercase when it's not #supposed to be lowercase #hopefully you like this warm anon!!! #periaske

[binglesbanglesbabies]

Mental health check-in! How are you doing? Are you hydrating? Taking your meds? Taking time for self-care? . . I was doing really well, my "normal" mode is fight or flight because I have bad anxiety (even with meds), so I was going about my day(s) as normal because I didn't have to switch into panic mode, just had to adjust my panic response to account for my current situation. (Not hard, I'm already a bit of a germaphobe, especially now that I know Hashimoto's makes me more prone to infections and it's attacking my kindeys and liver, and with my special crazy I try to avoid crowded places anyway, sooo not much of a change for me 😅 ) But today mom's doctors starting calling to cancel upcoming routine check-ups/appointments and as I went to tell mom some of her appointments were rescheduled, she had the news on with Governor Northam announcing the stay at home order for Virginia, and suddenly *BOOM* my anxiety kicked into overdrive and caused a panic attack over the weight of everything crashing down on me. I couldn't breathe, I started shaking, my chest was tight like my heart was being squeezed. I almost didn't get my anxiety meds down, ugh. It happens, I crash like this often, it was just...unexpected (like most of my anxiety attacks). I thought I was doing so well! 😭 Well congrats brain, you fooled me into complacency again 😑 This is your daily reminder to check-in with yourself. Obviously, I need to do more of that. Love you guys! 😘 . . #binglesbanglesbabies #anxiety #mentalhealth #mentalhealthcheck #mentalhealthcheckin #howareyou #depression #mentalhelp #mentalillness #bears #artwork #bearartist #sewingproject #sewing #artist #hydrate #takeyourmeds #selfcare #reminder #loveyou https://www.instagram.com/p/B-XmZPtBoKJ/?igshid=1cdwuicv15veb

#binglesbanglesbabies #anxiety #mentalhealth #mentalhealthcheck #mentalhealthcheckin #howareyou #depression #mentalhelp #mentalillness #bears #artwork #bearartist #sewingproject #sewing #artist #hydrate #takeyourmeds #selfcare #reminder #loveyou

[onesentencemusings]

Self-Indulgent Drabble

This is pretty much a thing I wrote for a friend that turned into me doing character development for some characters of mine with Ult Doc Ock observing their nuttiness against his will. Enjoy

---

There were a lot of things about his current situation that Otto Octavius hated. He hated that the long dark room looked like a tacky strip club lit up with blue neon lights. He hated the middle-eastern style lounge music that played in the hall. He hated watching the small crowd of patrons enjoying food and drink, chatting idly at the many tables and booths while he silently suffered. He hated that he was forced to sit on a not-as-luxurious-as-it-looked pillow that literally sat in the shadow of his enslaver. But strangely enough, he found that he mostly hated being cold.

His small bright purple jacket barely fit him period and it being cut short only exposed more of the man’s torso for the world to see. The closest he was allowed to having sleeves was two strips of fine blue fabric that ran from the collar clamped on his neck down his arms and onto large but tight-fitting golden bracelets locked on his forearms. Admittedly they provided him with a decent pair of black briefs but that was the beginning and end of his luck. Tied around his waist a belt of sort made of an assortment of various probably-not-real gems that did nothing but make noise whenever he moved. Below that was what he would only call ‘pants’ if he were forced to adhere to the strictest definition of the word. Puffy, see-through, definitely not heat-retentive by any means and only reached halfway down his calves. His shoe were also so identified by technically definition only. They were little more then purple velvet cut and sewed into a slipper of sort and adorned with a smaller collection of noisy trinkets around the ankle.

Octavius sat crosslegged, huffing under his breath, as he ‘enjoyed’ his ‘first day on the job’ present as a slave, compliments of one King Blue Ring. His gift? A cage. A golden one which was nested with a thick golden pillow with blue trimmings and a few much smaller ones of various colors. Four small bar rose from the cage’s bottom up to a small cap at the top, giving it an almost bird-cage appearance. The bars gave a subtle hum from the blue tinted energy field they gave off, keeping the scientist securely locked inside. He knew he was going to despise the thing when ‘His Majesty’ insisted that Otto unwrap it personally.

The shadows that lay over Otto shifted, reminding the man of his captor. Fairly tall, average build, suit covered completely from the neck down in a deep blood red. The face mask was shaped like a bird head, white with black marking trailing from the eyes to the beak and following into the small air tubes that flowed back into the flight-pack on their back. Their mechanical wings were stretched out over their throne’s armrests, shuffling and folding slightly as their owner worked intently on the holoscreen in front of them. And that was all well and good, but the overall standard looking flight suit took a dangerous turn at the feet. Three 7 inch long curved blades, two in the front, one in the back, jutted out from the Vulture’s boots forming a deadly claw that anyone, much less a genius such as Otto, would know would be deadly if used at the high speeds the bird soldier was no doubt capable to obtaining.

Why him? Why this? From what thankfully little time the two of them interacted, this Vulture had no need or interest in a slave. The only current explanation was this person saw an opportunity to humiliate their leader in a battle of grammar and took it, which Octavius admitted he would have done as well.

But no matter the reason he was now trapped in a cage sandwiched between a dark red throne sculpted with feather details and the stark towering walls that held up the platform on which the thrones of the king and queen sat proudly above all set against a long draping tapestry emblazoned with the King’s signature: a blue ring with a golden crown in the center.

“Oooooooooooooooooh, it’s so goooood, it’s so goooood, it’s so goooood, it’s so goooood, it’s soooooo gooooooooood.” The gentle almost hypnotic voice sang from the throne down, on the other side form Vulture. “Ooooooooooooooh, falling free, falling free, falling free, falling free, faaalling freeeeeeee.” The green dressed woman twirled her blue-dyed bangs around a finger, her other hand delicately holding up her chin like some divine high-bred aristocrat of old. Her legs were accentuated by her bright intimately decorated golden boots that climbed all the way up to her thighs. Currently, she had those legs crossed, one legs tapping in the air to the beat of the gentle music she was singing to. “Ooooooooooooh, You and me, you and me, you and me, you and meeeeeee.” A large muscular man with skin like a white tiger’s coat knelt down beside her, holding up a tray with a large fruity drink to the woman. The woman took the drink in her far hand and gently rubbed the tiger man’s head with the close hand. “I feeeeel loo-ooo-ooo-ooo-ove.I feeeeel loo-ooo-ooo-ooo-ove.I feeeeel loo-ooo-ooo-ooo-ove.”

She took a quick swig of the drink and smiled “Positively perfect, Houdini.” She said, waving the hourglass-shaped drink towards the man. “Well done.”

The tiger man stood up with a grin, putting his hands on his hips proudly, thumbs tucking into his one and only piece of clothing: a pair of black briefs with gold lining.“I’m glad to hear that, M’lady. Your opinion makes my worlds… or however that saying goes.”

The woman chuckled a bit before taking another drink. “Ahh, I think that will be all for now, darling. Go have fun.” Houdini gave her a deep bow and suddenly vanished in a puff of white smoke.

Vulture scoffed, the sound being heavily mechanized by their helmet.

“Aww, wassa matter, Val?” Houdini’s master cooed, turning sideways in her chair “Buyer’s remorse already? Not my fault you wanted to get your helper second-hand.”

“You have no idea what I want, Mysterio.” Vulture growled back. “In fact, I sometimes find myself wondering if you ever have any ideas period.” Otto couldn’t help but give a laughing grunt in agreement.

Mysterio scoffed, obviously offended. “It takes brains to handle all my illusion equipment, you know.” She threw her hands up, creating a swirl of green fire that quickly died out “How much brain does it take to tell your suit to make you fly, huh?”

“My top Standard Mode speed is 300 miles an hour.” Vulture stated flatly “In Overdrive Mode, I can break the sound barrier.” The beaked helmet turned towards the magician “Wouldn’t you agree that it’s takes brains to handle that kind of velocity?”

Break the sound barrier? Otto glanced away. Even his personally made flight-suit for that failed animal soldier experiment, his world’s Vulture, could only hit 170 MPH. And yet this suit was so much sleeker, so much more weaponized. Perhaps this world to which he was stole wasn’t just a world where different people took up the same villain names as in his world.

“Daw, that’s just going fast!” Mysterio uncrossed her leg, sitting up a bit straighter “That’s not brains!”

“If you truly only care about more classic ideals of the mind, I singlehandedly maintain a high-level of efficiency for my Buzzard operations. You know. The operations that keep this bombshell-covered decaying pile of rubble we call an island from starving?”

“Decaying?” A man broke in. The muscular man in the iconic lion themed vest jumped up on the stage of thrones, followed by a tawny-skinned woman dotted with large brown spots. “It is not as such. The Ruins teem with life, both physical and spiritual. For a bird that flies so high, it is a wonder how you manage to see so little.”

 Vulture groaned “Stay out of this, Kraven. This conversation isn’t about you or your stupid cult.”

“Is no cult.” Kraven answered

That’s what they all say, Otto immediately thought.

“We live in the grounds of the cleansing Blow-Up and gain strength from the spirits of The Fallen that reside there.”

“How logical.” Vulture grumbled.

“Now, hold on!” Kraven’s sidekick spoke up. “It’s real! I know it! Everyday, My Lord and his Hunters get better and stronger. How else would that happen if not the spirits of The Fallen granting them their strength?”

“Practice? Like everyone else on the planet?” Vulture shrugged, the sarcasm obvious through the vocal distortion.

The woman gave an animalistic growl, her long dark hair raising up like hackles, nails growing more to look like short claws. Vulture’s talons clanged loudly against the tile floor as the bird stood up, wings raising up ready to take off.

“Mtumishi, settle.” Kraven stated flatly.

The woman glanced at her master before putting her hands down. “Yes, M’Lord.” She muttered before angrily her attention to her camo-pants and black tank top.

“It matters little to me what you believe, Lady Vulture, I know what I know and me and my Hunter shall continue to train ourselves upon the graves of the mighty.” Kraven continued “Beside-ing the point, I only wished to interrupt to rightfully defend Mysterio’s views. Almost any animal can overtake an untrained human in a fight; that does not make them smarter. Therefore, having superior speed does not make one superior in all ways.”

Vulture’s wings snapped closed on her back “It takes brains to understand trajectory and velocity, something your last dart trap proves you have little concept of.”

“Yeah, Electro still really can’t sit.” Mysterio muttered more to herself than anyone.

Kraven glared first at Vulture and then at Mtumishi, who was cackling at the bird woman’s comment. He elbowed the hyena woman in the rib to quiet her before approaching Vulture. “I cannot expect a scavenger to understand what it’s like to fight with honor.”

“Very well.” Vulture said “You can keep your honor, little man. I’ll stick to winning.”

Mysterio leaned back in her throne, ooh-ing in amused shock as Kraven’s own servant broke down into hysterical laughing.

“Why you insolent ---!” Kraven reached into his vest and pulled out a kukri in both hands. Before he could even make to lunge to attack, Vulture’s wings folded out and she rocketed into the air, stopping short of hitting the tall ceiling. With a quick sarcastic salute, she sailed out an open window into the sky outside. Well, that was one less person Otto had to endure. “If she think she shall get away with ---!”

“Calm down, Alexi.” Mysterio said with a laugh. “Trust me, buddy, that battle axe ain’t worth it.” Kraven huffed and sheathed his blades. “But I do appreciate you taking my side. Means a lot to me.” She continued

Kraven smiled slightly and reached behind his head to tighten the band holding back his long black hair. “It is nothing, Franky. You were right. Vulture merely needed to hear that from someone else.”

“Sadly, it’s a common theme in people of our profession rarely listen to anyone that tells them they’re wrong.” Mysterio leaned on her throne’s armrest, head nestled in her hand once again. “I know if my dad had stopped the minute someone told him fighting Spider-Man wouldn’t make him famous, Mysterio never woulda made it past Act One.”

Kraven sat himself down on the arm of Vulture’s throne. “You make good point. Many a fool made fun of my father for his determination.”

Mysterio nodded “Determination is good, honey, but Vulture’s hardcore. Eddie’s shared some stuff he dug up on her SHIELD history and from what he’s told me she’s been taking out guys like you since you were Electro’s age. And I don’t mean that in the dating way.”

“Shall I take that as a sign you care for my safety or it is merely a lack of understanding of my abilities?” Kraven smirked

Mysterio shrugged, a smile growing on her face as well “What can I say, Darling? You ain’t a bad looker and I’d hate for that to change.”

“I never mentioned before as it was none of my business but, ” Kraven leaned a bit closer to the woman “I was quite glad when you decided to stop wearing the dome to your uniform. To deny the world of your face was a crime greater than any illegal action you commited.”

“Oh stop.” Mysterio giggled before quickly shifting around to lean towards Kraven “And by ‘stop’ I, of course, mean ‘do go on’.”

“You are like wild cheetah in the savannah: proud, free, fierce yet elegant. So shapely yet holding untold power.”

“Wow, how long have you been sitting on this speech, big boy?”

“For some time now. May I ask if my words are working?”

“I’m still here, aren’t I?”

“Oh god.” Otto groaned under his breathe, burying his face in his hands. He was going to have to listen to the drivel? Otto put a fist against his temple, deep in thought. He’s escaped more than this before. He’s escaped more than this back in his old broken worthless body that did nothing but sustain his endlessly genius mind and hang limply from his robotic tentacles.

But that was back in his own world, where he had allies, where he knew the exact time of the SHIELD guard patrols down to the minute, where he could even tell particular guards apart by frame and gait alone.

Here? He had been kept in a disgusting rundown underwater laboratory with about 30 other versions of himself forced to work under the island’s king or else be starved into submission. His scowl deepened. The king had said the island was starving, scraping by as it was and that the Octavius’s share of food and water had to be ‘earned’ through their scientific production. Otto, like every other Otto locked in that science prison, had no choice but to believe that statement. And yet upon his move up to the surface, Otto found himself in luxury accommodations with dozens of supposedly important people wasting time socializing rather than working to protect what he had been told was a dying empire.

He exhaled and laid down on his back, sinking a bit into the large pillow as he tried to imagine that he was staring at ceiling instead of the cage roof. Things weren’t the best for him at this point. But things haven’t gone his way for a long time. There was one benefit of always having things go wrong though: one learns to stay calm during stressful times. He had played ‘Slave’ before. To Norman Osborn. To Hydra. To this King Blue Ring. He knew what captors wanted. And if it meant he could get a chance to escape, he’d play the role yet again. Sooner or later, they’d lower their guard and grant him something he could use to his advantage or let a flaw in their grip over him be exposed.

Either way, he’d escape. And then everyone would pay dearly for enslaving Otto Octavius

#SpiderSpam #Musings Writes

[preciousmetals0]

30 Million Unemployed; Tesla Cries Freedom; Microsoft Goes Hard

30 Million Unemployed; Tesla Cries Freedom; Microsoft Goes Hard:

On the Turning Away…

…from the pale and downtrodden … and the words that they say which we don’t understand.

Wall Street almost — almost — became aware of the U.S. economy this morning.

Continuing the epic U.S. employment saga, the Labor Department put another brick in the unemployment wall this morning. Some 3.8 million Americans filed for first-time unemployment benefits last week.

The six-week total now stands at 30.3 million unemployed. CNBC called it “the worst employment crisis in U.S. history.”

The market opened down nearly 2% on the news, and, for a brief moment, you could see the sweat on Wall Street’s brow. A hint that somewhere in that sea of frothing bullishness, someone almost had an epiphany. A realization that economic demand might suffer considerably due to 30 million unemployed American consumers.

And then, while contemplating how waning demand might impact a U.S. economic recovery and corporate bottom lines, that someone stumbled over a pile of Fed money (It’s a gas!) and completely forgot the whole deal…

The Takeaway: 

Hey you!

Are you still learning to fly in this crazy market? Or are you sitting back comfortably numb and enjoying the quarantine?

Yes, the economic data makes you want to run like hell, but you don’t have to say “goodbye blue sky” to investing in this market. Just breathe, be patient and take your time. Otherwise, your portfolio will play that great gig in the sky.

When it comes to investing, it’s hard to remove yourself from the “us and them” mentality, especially during these trying times. But giving in to emotions will eventually bankrupt you one of these days.

Yes, by all economic accounts, the market is more irrational than Roger Waters on a nicotine and whiskey bender. But you can be right and still lose money.

Now, Great Stuff has been pretty down on the market’s prospects since this whole pandemic thing started. We recommended putting most of your investment capital in gold, bonds and cash … you know, the standard safe havens. (By the way, which one’s Pink?)

But there’s one sector in which we have high hopes: tech.

No, we don’t have brain damage. We’re just reading the writing on the wall. Today, Great Stuff takes a look at three Big Tech companies post earnings, and we weigh their potential in the current market.

It’s our way of helping you shine on, you crazy diamond!

So, what’s … uh, the deal? Where can I grab that cash with both hands and make a stash?

Why, be careful with that ax, Eugene! If you’re wanting more, then it’s time to turn your tech investing into interstellar overdrive. See, nobody stays as fearless in the tech game as Paul Mampilly. And Paul just found one tech stock that’s set to transform the way we use and create energy.

Paul even said: “This technology can single-handedly power a major American city … virtually free of charge.” So, let there be more light! And as the market’s seesaw continues, and the Fed’s jugband blues carries on, find out more about the one tech stock that Paul recommends you buy now.

Click here to learn more!

Good: Freedooooom!

Did you miss crazy Elon Musk? I did.

The Tesla Inc. (Nasdaq: TSLA) CEO proffered up his best Rage Against the Machine impression yesterday, crying out “Freedom!” and calling the COVID-19 response in the U.S. “fascist.”

The outburst came during Tesla’s earnings call with investors … earnings, yeah right!

Speaking of earnings, Tesla posted a surprise profit. Doesn’t that make it three in a row?

Why yes … yes, it does. And that’s a good thing for Tesla investors in the wake of Musk coming a bit unhinged. The company posted a first-quarter profit of $1.24 per share, shocking analysts who expected a loss. Revenue also topped expectations, coming in at $6.2 billion.

While Tesla remained cautious in its outlook due to the pandemic, investors seized on the unexpected profit and better margins — a notable feat given Tesla’s lower production volume.

Our take at Great Stuff is that Tesla is a solid long-term investment. However, given our reservations about the overall market and the U.S. economy, now may not be the best time to chase TSLA shares. If you’re looking to invest, be patient. Wait for a pullback, and time your entry accordingly.

Better: Sign, Sign, Everywhere a Sign

Do this. Don’t do that. Can’t you read the signs?

Facebook Inc. (Nasdaq: FB) is in rally mode today. The company has seen the sign, and it’s opened up investors’ eyes. (A Tesla cover into and Ace of Base reference? Are you trying to give us whiplash?)

What sign? Why the most important sign of all for Facebook: stability in ad trends.

Forget that Facebook blew past Wall Street’s first-quarter earnings expectations, or that revenue of $17.74 billion rose 17% to beat the consensus target of $17.53 billion. It’s all about guidance in this market.

“After the initial steep decrease in advertising revenue in March, we have seen signs of stability reflected in the first three weeks of April,” Facebook said in its conference call with investors.

That’s all the sign that FB bulls needed to send the stock skipping more than 5% higher.

So, what’s our take on Facebook? Well, setting aside our distaste for the company’s mishandling of user data and its unwillingness to fully address misleading posts … FB is the best social media stock on the market.

It’s a dual-edged sword. FB is a solid investment choice if you can set aside your emotions on the company.

Best: Good Ol’ Softy

Microsoft Corp. (Nasdaq: MSFT) is probably one of our favorite tech stocks here at Great Stuff. While we haven’t made it an official pick for the Great Stuff free portfolio, you should probably pick up a few shares if you can.

Why? Because of statements like this: “COVID-19 had minimal net impact on the total company revenue.”

Fact: MSFT was the only Dow stock to gain in the first quarter.

While practically every other company in the U.S. issues warnings and pulls forecasts, Microsoft is plowing ahead. The company just reported fiscal third-quarter results, beating even pre-virus estimates.

Driving that performance was an impressive 59% spike in Azure sales. Azure is Microsoft’s “Intelligent Cloud” business, and it’s eating Amazon Web Services’ lunch with JEDI-like prowess.

Finally, Microsoft actually provided fourth-quarter guidance — one of the very few companies to do so this earnings season. The company expects revenue of $35.85 billion to $36.8 billion, largely in-line with Wall Street’s targets.

The thing is, Microsoft has been an essential company for decades. It’s weathered dot-com busts, financial crises and government antitrust lawsuits. In fact, when I hear that “buy and hold” is dead, I always point to Microsoft.

You spoke to me, and now it’s time to breathe in the air.

Mr. Great Stuff, how long are you keeping this Pink Floyd thing going?

One of these days … one of these days I’ll stop speaking in song lyrics. But until then, you can count on Great Stuff to get countless eclectic earworms stuck in your head.

Meanwhile, if you’ve been hanging on in quiet desperation for this week’s Reader Feedback, wait no longer! It’s that time again, so let’s see what Great Stuff readers are thinking about this week.

Bye-Cycles

I feel like the stock market has three things going against that people don’t talk about but I’m not sure if they even really matter. 

“Sell in may and go away”

We are at a serious technical resistance for SPY. 

We are at the end of the month and we tend to see people selling more at the end of the month as opposed to the beginning … right?

I have also read that we Tuesdays tend to be more bearish than other days of the week. 

I am thinking that since we didn’t see much of a sell-off on Tuesday, no one is talking about ‘sell in May,’ and we aren’t really seeing a sell-off due to resistance or it being the end of the month … the fed is going to win and we are going to plow through resistance and the recovery will continue. Does what I’m thinking make any sense?

— Preston B.

My, my … someone’s been reading his Chad Shoop! (For anyone guessing: Chad focuses on investing around many of these market cycles — as well as some hidden market cycles too. Details here!)

Thank you for your thorough email, Preston. I wanted to touch on just a few of your questions today, but honestly, you already answered it yourself in the first line. Here’s the lowdown:

Yes, we often see a seasonal dip in May. Yes, the end of the month often brings a flurry of Big Money rebalancing and profit taking. Resistance … why, up until today’s market dive, it seemed like the S&P 500 Index had the rearview mirror torn off like it was in a Jo Dee Messina song.

All of these are true to their own extents. Yes. But somewhere along the line, Mr. Market declared that fundamentals and technical logic are dead, instead deciding to leap headfirst into the chasm of “fear of missing out” uncertainties.

Preston, your observations are most astute. In normal market climates, those trends are what we’d talk about this week instead. But today, as things are right this instant, I mostly agree with your statement at the top: “I’m not sure if they even really matter.”

Just Like Starting Over

Yo, Joe,

Well, I tried. That’s about all the slang I know. I am the newest of the newbies, have never placed an order. … How can I go find a broker when I have to stay inside? How can I get my monies out of banks into brokers’ hands? Is that all done electronically? Help!

— Janis W.

Yo, J.W.! What’s good, homie? You keeping things 100 during quarantine?

Let’s help you get that bread — err, a brokerage account to start with. Your hunch is right: Almost all brokerage action is done electronically these days, as is moving money into your account once it’s set up.

I know that many people are put off investing entirely because it’s mostly online. But once you get started with a broker you like and trust, I’m sure you’ll appreciate the convenience — and the possible addiction of checking on your stocks every second of the trading day (which, frankly, is a stage most new investors get through sooner or later).

Before we go any further, let me just say that Banyan Hill doesn’t have any personal or business relationship with any of these services. They’re just the top choices I see among many of our readers.

Check out some of these links below and see what broker is right for you. You’ll want a trading platform that’s easy to use and gives you the information you want without having to sift through a bajillion different web pages:

I also want to add that, just like starting any kind of account where money is concerned, there will be fine print. (There’s always fine print, right? It’s like the ever-returning pocket lint of the legal world.)

I wish you the best of luck, Janis!

I Am You, and What I See Is Me

Are you still ok with your advice to buy Starbucks put options?

— Philip H.

Philip, I … I don’t think that was my recommendation. By any chance, are you thinking of this Winning Investor Daily article by John Ross back on April 10? Hey now, us Joes and Johns aren’t interchangeable, you see…

So, while I can’t give you personalized investment advice here (legal beagles and whatnot), what I can say is that, when it comes to options … you definitely want to keep any losses short and take gains when you’ve got ‘em.

Options Land is a fast-moving (yet insanely profitable) place … and you might want to ask John Ross directly for your next move, Philip. For everyone else out there looking for a spot to jump into the options game (and trust me, there’s no better time to do so), you can get started with expert John Ross right here.

That’s a wrap for today, but if you still crave more Great Stuff, check us out on social media: Facebook and Twitter.

Until next time, be Great!

Regards,

Joseph Hargett

Editor, Great Stuff

[goldira01]

On the Turning Away…

…from the pale and downtrodden … and the words that they say which we don’t understand.

Wall Street almost — almost — became aware of the U.S. economy this morning.

Continuing the epic U.S. employment saga, the Labor Department put another brick in the unemployment wall this morning. Some 3.8 million Americans filed for first-time unemployment benefits last week.

The six-week total now stands at 30.3 million unemployed. CNBC called it “the worst employment crisis in U.S. history.”

The market opened down nearly 2% on the news, and, for a brief moment, you could see the sweat on Wall Street’s brow. A hint that somewhere in that sea of frothing bullishness, someone almost had an epiphany. A realization that economic demand might suffer considerably due to 30 million unemployed American consumers.

And then, while contemplating how waning demand might impact a U.S. economic recovery and corporate bottom lines, that someone stumbled over a pile of Fed money (It’s a gas!) and completely forgot the whole deal…

The Takeaway: 

Hey you!

Are you still learning to fly in this crazy market? Or are you sitting back comfortably numb and enjoying the quarantine?

Yes, the economic data makes you want to run like hell, but you don’t have to say “goodbye blue sky” to investing in this market. Just breathe, be patient and take your time. Otherwise, your portfolio will play that great gig in the sky.

When it comes to investing, it’s hard to remove yourself from the “us and them” mentality, especially during these trying times. But giving in to emotions will eventually bankrupt you one of these days.

Yes, by all economic accounts, the market is more irrational than Roger Waters on a nicotine and whiskey bender. But you can be right and still lose money.

Now, Great Stuff has been pretty down on the market’s prospects since this whole pandemic thing started. We recommended putting most of your investment capital in gold, bonds and cash … you know, the standard safe havens. (By the way, which one’s Pink?)

But there’s one sector in which we have high hopes: tech.

No, we don’t have brain damage. We’re just reading the writing on the wall. Today, Great Stuff takes a look at three Big Tech companies post earnings, and we weigh their potential in the current market.

It’s our way of helping you shine on, you crazy diamond!

So, what’s … uh, the deal? Where can I grab that cash with both hands and make a stash?

Why, be careful with that ax, Eugene! If you’re wanting more, then it’s time to turn your tech investing into interstellar overdrive. See, nobody stays as fearless in the tech game as Paul Mampilly. And Paul just found one tech stock that’s set to transform the way we use and create energy.

Paul even said: “This technology can single-handedly power a major American city … virtually free of charge.” So, let there be more light! And as the market’s seesaw continues, and the Fed’s jugband blues carries on, find out more about the one tech stock that Paul recommends you buy now.

Click here to learn more!

Good: Freedooooom!

Did you miss crazy Elon Musk? I did.

The Tesla Inc. (Nasdaq: TSLA) CEO proffered up his best Rage Against the Machine impression yesterday, crying out “Freedom!” and calling the COVID-19 response in the U.S. “fascist.”

The outburst came during Tesla’s earnings call with investors … earnings, yeah right!

Speaking of earnings, Tesla posted a surprise profit. Doesn’t that make it three in a row?

Why yes … yes, it does. And that’s a good thing for Tesla investors in the wake of Musk coming a bit unhinged. The company posted a first-quarter profit of $1.24 per share, shocking analysts who expected a loss. Revenue also topped expectations, coming in at $6.2 billion.

While Tesla remained cautious in its outlook due to the pandemic, investors seized on the unexpected profit and better margins — a notable feat given Tesla’s lower production volume.

Our take at Great Stuff is that Tesla is a solid long-term investment. However, given our reservations about the overall market and the U.S. economy, now may not be the best time to chase TSLA shares. If you’re looking to invest, be patient. Wait for a pullback, and time your entry accordingly.

Better: Sign, Sign, Everywhere a Sign

Do this. Don’t do that. Can’t you read the signs?

Facebook Inc. (Nasdaq: FB) is in rally mode today. The company has seen the sign, and it’s opened up investors’ eyes. (A Tesla cover into and Ace of Base reference? Are you trying to give us whiplash?)

What sign? Why the most important sign of all for Facebook: stability in ad trends.

Forget that Facebook blew past Wall Street’s first-quarter earnings expectations, or that revenue of $17.74 billion rose 17% to beat the consensus target of $17.53 billion. It’s all about guidance in this market.

“After the initial steep decrease in advertising revenue in March, we have seen signs of stability reflected in the first three weeks of April,” Facebook said in its conference call with investors.

That’s all the sign that FB bulls needed to send the stock skipping more than 5% higher.

So, what’s our take on Facebook? Well, setting aside our distaste for the company’s mishandling of user data and its unwillingness to fully address misleading posts … FB is the best social media stock on the market.

It’s a dual-edged sword. FB is a solid investment choice if you can set aside your emotions on the company.

Best: Good Ol’ Softy

Microsoft Corp. (Nasdaq: MSFT) is probably one of our favorite tech stocks here at Great Stuff. While we haven’t made it an official pick for the Great Stuff free portfolio, you should probably pick up a few shares if you can.

Why? Because of statements like this: “COVID-19 had minimal net impact on the total company revenue.”

Fact: MSFT was the only Dow stock to gain in the first quarter.

While practically every other company in the U.S. issues warnings and pulls forecasts, Microsoft is plowing ahead. The company just reported fiscal third-quarter results, beating even pre-virus estimates.

Driving that performance was an impressive 59% spike in Azure sales. Azure is Microsoft’s “Intelligent Cloud” business, and it’s eating Amazon Web Services’ lunch with JEDI-like prowess.

Finally, Microsoft actually provided fourth-quarter guidance — one of the very few companies to do so this earnings season. The company expects revenue of $35.85 billion to $36.8 billion, largely in-line with Wall Street’s targets.

The thing is, Microsoft has been an essential company for decades. It’s weathered dot-com busts, financial crises and government antitrust lawsuits. In fact, when I hear that “buy and hold” is dead, I always point to Microsoft.

You spoke to me, and now it’s time to breathe in the air.

Mr. Great Stuff, how long are you keeping this Pink Floyd thing going?

One of these days … one of these days I’ll stop speaking in song lyrics. But until then, you can count on Great Stuff to get countless eclectic earworms stuck in your head.

Meanwhile, if you’ve been hanging on in quiet desperation for this week’s Reader Feedback, wait no longer! It’s that time again, so let’s see what Great Stuff readers are thinking about this week.

Bye-Cycles

I feel like the stock market has three things going against that people don’t talk about but I’m not sure if they even really matter. 

“Sell in may and go away”

We are at a serious technical resistance for SPY. 

We are at the end of the month and we tend to see people selling more at the end of the month as opposed to the beginning … right?

I have also read that we Tuesdays tend to be more bearish than other days of the week. 

I am thinking that since we didn’t see much of a sell-off on Tuesday, no one is talking about ‘sell in May,’ and we aren’t really seeing a sell-off due to resistance or it being the end of the month … the fed is going to win and we are going to plow through resistance and the recovery will continue. Does what I’m thinking make any sense?

— Preston B.

My, my … someone’s been reading his Chad Shoop! (For anyone guessing: Chad focuses on investing around many of these market cycles — as well as some hidden market cycles too. Details here!)

Thank you for your thorough email, Preston. I wanted to touch on just a few of your questions today, but honestly, you already answered it yourself in the first line. Here’s the lowdown:

Yes, we often see a seasonal dip in May. Yes, the end of the month often brings a flurry of Big Money rebalancing and profit taking. Resistance … why, up until today’s market dive, it seemed like the S&P 500 Index had the rearview mirror torn off like it was in a Jo Dee Messina song.

All of these are true to their own extents. Yes. But somewhere along the line, Mr. Market declared that fundamentals and technical logic are dead, instead deciding to leap headfirst into the chasm of “fear of missing out” uncertainties.

Preston, your observations are most astute. In normal market climates, those trends are what we’d talk about this week instead. But today, as things are right this instant, I mostly agree with your statement at the top: “I’m not sure if they even really matter.”

Just Like Starting Over

Yo, Joe,

Well, I tried. That’s about all the slang I know. I am the newest of the newbies, have never placed an order. … How can I go find a broker when I have to stay inside? How can I get my monies out of banks into brokers’ hands? Is that all done electronically? Help!

— Janis W.

Yo, J.W.! What’s good, homie? You keeping things 100 during quarantine?

Let’s help you get that bread — err, a brokerage account to start with. Your hunch is right: Almost all brokerage action is done electronically these days, as is moving money into your account once it’s set up.

I know that many people are put off investing entirely because it’s mostly online. But once you get started with a broker you like and trust, I’m sure you’ll appreciate the convenience — and the possible addiction of checking on your stocks every second of the trading day (which, frankly, is a stage most new investors get through sooner or later).

Before we go any further, let me just say that Banyan Hill doesn’t have any personal or business relationship with any of these services. They’re just the top choices I see among many of our readers.

Check out some of these links below and see what broker is right for you. You’ll want a trading platform that’s easy to use and gives you the information you want without having to sift through a bajillion different web pages:

I also want to add that, just like starting any kind of account where money is concerned, there will be fine print. (There’s always fine print, right? It’s like the ever-returning pocket lint of the legal world.)

I wish you the best of luck, Janis!

I Am You, and What I See Is Me

Are you still ok with your advice to buy Starbucks put options?

— Philip H.

Philip, I … I don’t think that was my recommendation. By any chance, are you thinking of this Winning Investor Daily article by John Ross back on April 10? Hey now, us Joes and Johns aren’t interchangeable, you see…

So, while I can’t give you personalized investment advice here (legal beagles and whatnot), what I can say is that, when it comes to options … you definitely want to keep any losses short and take gains when you’ve got ‘em.

Options Land is a fast-moving (yet insanely profitable) place … and you might want to ask John Ross directly for your next move, Philip. For everyone else out there looking for a spot to jump into the options game (and trust me, there’s no better time to do so), you can get started with expert John Ross right here.

That’s a wrap for today, but if you still crave more Great Stuff, check us out on social media: Facebook and Twitter.

Until next time, be Great!

Regards,

Joseph Hargett

Editor, Great Stuff

#Timor Invest

[talabib]

How To Build A Better Feedback Culture

If you’ve ever felt your blood pressure rise at the mention of feedback, or felt stressed out at the prospect of delivering it, then you’ll realize how feedback has become a dirty word. Too many of us associate it with punishment, self-doubt, awkward conversations or office power plays. And even when feedback is positive, it can be frustratingly unclear or unhelpful. As a result, our brains have been programmed to have negative psychological and even physical reactions to feedback situations.  

But it doesn’t have to be that way! At its most basic, feedback is information and insights that should help us grow. Understanding how others see us and taking advice from our colleagues and bosses are both crucial to our development in the workplace. 

So the time has come for us all to make an effort to build a better feedback culture. And, thankfully, it’s relatively easy to do so, once you understand why you have a negative reaction to feedback and can arm yourself with practical tips for a better approach. To find out how to shift your mindset, and to learn how to seek, receive and give feedback better, read on. 

Feedback’s brand has taken a hit, but it’s an invaluable source of improvement and growth. 

You stroll into work, ready to face the day. Just as you sit down, your boss pops her head out her office door: “I’ve got some feedback for you. Please come into my office.” 

For lots of us, just hearing this is enough to set our hearts racing. Our palms sweat and our legs feel numb as we cross the floor to the boss’s office. Thoughts race through the mind: What have I done? Did I screw something up? 

Of course, it’s likely that the feedback is innocuous or even positive. So why do we have such an anxious, immediate and forceful reaction to the offer of it?

Feedback has been consistently mishandled. Bad leaders use it to punish or manipulate staff, using brutal frankness with no regard for employee morale. Even good bosses hoard feedback, positive and negative, and then dump it all at once on unsuspecting employees at annual performance reviews. 

And it’s not just givers at fault. There’s probably been a time in your life when you’ve gotten defensive in response to feedback, argued the facts, or fought back with a tirade about someone else’s failings. 

But this is unfortunate, because feedback, effectively delivered, drives meaningful improvements in business performance.

A 2018 study explored the impact of multiple techniques used in 57 companies in the US to improve performance management. It found the biggest driver of measurable improvement in performance was building a Performance Feedback Culture, in which managers are trained in how to give feedback and incentivized to do so. Unsurprisingly, managers in such cultures provide regular and attentive feedback. The financial gains of the one-third of companies that were best at giving feedback were double those of the one-third that was worst for feedback. Furthermore, the study found that good feedback was the management practice most strongly correlated with employee motivation. 

Still need convincing of feedback’s value? Consider that, despite feedback’s bad rep, the most common complaint that experts hear in their lives as management consultants is that people don’t get enough of it. A 2018 global study of employee engagement led by Officevibe found that a full 62 percent of workers wanted more feedback, and 83 percent appreciated it, whether it was positive or negative. 

People want good feedback, and developing a good feedback culture makes sense for any organization. But before we can build such a culture, we first need to understand why we are currently getting things wrong. 

Feedback can seem threatening and often triggers anxiety and stress. 

So why, exactly, do we get so worked up about the prospect of feedback? The answer lies in our brains and our evolutionary past. 

If you’ve had negative feedback experience in the past, then an offer of feedback – even one that later turns out to be positive – will kick off what’s known as a fear response in the primitive part of our brain, the amygdala. That response is an evolutionary adaptation to perceived threats. It was helpful, even essential, thousands of years ago – if you saw a saber-toothed tiger coming, your fear response would trigger a wave of reactions. Your face would flush, and your mouth would dry out as blood was diverted to arms and legs, readying you to run. Your heartbeat would accelerate, pumping blood to fuel action. 

Today, however, it’s profoundly unhelpful when it kicks in in response to something like an offer of feedback. Recalling past negative experiences of feedback, your amygdala responds. Suddenly your body and mind go into overdrive. Primed for survival, reason and emotional control go out the window. The result? You are unlikely to recognize, appreciate or properly process any of the feedback your boss tries to give, however reasonable it is. 

So if you find yourself with heart racing and palms sweating, what can you do to keep yourself level-headed and ready to process feedback properly?

Well, one great way to stay calm is to give attention to your body.  Our brain can only be active in one of its parts at once. Onset of the “fight, flight or freeze” mode comes from brain activity in the amygdala, or the primitive brain. However, focusing consciously on your physical sensations, like the feeling of your feet on the floor, requires your prefrontal cortex, or your wise brain, to be engaged. Deliberately focusing on your physical body is a great way to dampen that primitive, scary brain behavior. 

So if you find yourself getting stressed out, try the relaxation technique known as 4-7-8 breathing. Inhale silently through your nose, counting to four. Then hold your breath for seven seconds, which will slow your heart rate and help you relax. And then exhale for eight seconds. 

Of course, while helpful in the moment, this technique won’t solve the problem in the longer term. For that, we all need to embrace better approaches to feedback.

To grow, we need clear and specific feedback and a growth mindset.

If we want to change feedback for the better, then we need a new definition – a vision, even – for how feedback should be. 

Feedback should be defined as information that is both specific and clear, and that is either given or sought exclusively to help people or groups grow or improve. 

Let’s unpack that a little. Firstly, feedback needs to be specific and clear. Feedback like, “Just keep doing what you’re doing,” or “Watch what Janie in sales is doing, and follow that” is no real help to anyone. Clear information is the best way to inspire action. 

Secondly, feedback should not just be given, but also sought out. To benefit from feedback truly, we can’t just wait for it: we need to ask for it. And finally, feedback should be entirely focused on aiding growth. Why bother offering it if not to help someone develop or change? Feedback should never be used as a weapon, or to demonstrate power, but always with the purpose of helping someone improve.  

Something that can help you change your attitude to feedback is to adopt a growth mindset. Dr. Carol Dweck, a psychologist at Stanford University, has written that people with a fixed mindset believe their inherent qualities, like intelligence or talent, are fixed traits, and as a result, they don’t invest in developing them. Those with a growth mindset, however, see talent just as a starting point, and embrace both a passion for learning and mental resilience. Dweck’s research found that those with a fixed mindset ignored negative feedback, even if it was useful, whereas those with a growth mindset sought feedback, and regarded criticism as a learning experience. 

The more you can adopt a growth mindset, the more likely you are to be comfortable with feedback, and the more you can learn from it. So try to be alert to how you are responding to challenges in the workplace. 

If you find yourself saying, “I cannot do this,” try to remind yourself that you just can’t do this yet. Comparing yourself negatively with your colleague Sarah’s people skills? Make a commitment to ask Sarah for some networking tips, and remind yourself that improving in this area could bring real results.

Connection, trust and taking notice are the essential foundations of a positive feedback culture. 

To build anything that’s durable, you need stable foundations. A positive feedback culture is no exception.

The first step to building the foundation of a better feedback culture is to connect with people, since listening to them and understanding them drives trust. And trust is vitally important to feedback. We pay little attention to feedback from people we don’t trust, and a lot of attention to feedback from people we do. So invest time in really connecting with your colleagues. Spend focused time with them, and when you do, make sure your head is in the game, and make an effort to consider their viewpoints and their ideas positively, without judging them. 

If you need a little nudge in the right direction, try to follow the 5:1 ratio established by renowned marriage therapist Dr. John Gottman. He found that the key to a happy, stable relationship was for a couple to have at least five positive interactions with each other for each negative interaction. Translating this to the workplace, consider how much better your coworker relationships would be if you dramatically stepped up the ratio of positive connections with each other. 

The next step is simple, but hugely important. It’s noticing. Noticing is observing things or people as they are, without judgment or emotion. What does this mean in practice, and in the context of feedback? Well, it means that instead of waiting for an annual performance review to gather observations secondhand, we are always tuned in and paying attention. It means that we focus on the present moment, and as a result can always share clear, factual insights with our colleagues. As a result, the quality of our feedback conversations will be transformed. Previously you might have said, “Hey, I’m pretty disappointed. We had an agreement to get that done on time.” But when you practice noticing, you focus simply on details that you have observed, instead of focusing on blame or judgment. So instead, you might say, “So the tracking details show we were four hours behind on Friday. I believe we had an agreement that you would give me a heads up on any delays; is that correct?”

When you practice noticing, your ability to give helpful, regular feedback will increase dramatically. Do this, and you’ll notice the true, positive power that feedback can have. But some of us will need to go and actively seek feedback, so let’s consider how best to do that. 

Seekers of feedback should be specific, and seek multiple sources. 

If you want your performance to improve, then stop waiting for feedback, and ask for it. If you do, it’s likely that you’ll see results. In a recent Forbes article, leadership consultant Jack Zenger talked about how research shows that organizations that embrace asking for feedback, rather than simply giving it, see better performance and stronger teams. 

So why not kick-start a step toward a better feedback culture in your organization by seeking out feedback for yourself? Here are a few tips on how you can become a great seeker.

First, make sure that your ask is focused. Research shows that feedback givers are likely to get stressed out if we ask them something broad, like “Can you tell me how I’m doing at the moment?” A better approach is to be as specific as possible. If you have a big presentation coming up, and you know that sometimes your delivery can waver, you could say to your manager, “When I present to marketing today, could you keep an eye on my body language and audience eye contact? I’m a little concerned that I’m pacing too much, and not connecting.” That gives your feedback provider a nice, clearly defined request, and in turn gives you actionable and specific information, rather than some general comments about how your presentation turned out. 

Second, think about how you can get your feedback from multiple, diverse sources. That’s because the more sources of feedback you can gather, the more you’ll learn. And if those sources are diverse, you are more likely to get a fair picture of your performance than if you’d just listened to one manager. Her perspective may be valuable, but it is just one perspective, after all. 

So think about who else could give you useful feedback. A great but often overlooked source of honest feedback is our immediate peer group. All too often, when we seek feedback, we seek it from our managers or leaders. But your peers are probably the people who know you best, working with you day by day and seeing both your best and your worst sides. 

A recent study by recognition solutions provider Globoforce found that peer-to-peer recognition is almost 36 percent more likely to affect financial results positively than manager-employee recognition alone. When we bring everyone into the feedback conversation, we benefit from a richer chorus of voices. 

Ask the right questions and keep control of your emotional response to make the most out of feedback you receive.

Even if you’re the one receiving feedback, it doesn’t mean that you can just sit back and listen. You also have work to do if you want to get the most out of the situation. 

The good news is that there’s an easy way you can make sure that every feedback session really works for you – you just need to ask the right questions. 

For example, if you feel like you are getting too many vague, woolly statements, ask for specifics. Try asking, “Could you share an example of when you noticed this?” And don’t be shy to ask about the impact of the behavior in question. Asking, “Could you explain the impact that had on the team?” is a great way to get to the bottom of why you might need to change a behavior. On the other hand, sometimes feedback givers complicate things by covering too many issues at once. Asking, “What’s the single thing I should be doing more of?” is a great way to help your feedback provider gently come to clarity. 

But often when we receive feedback, we let our emotional reaction to the feedback cloud our perceptions of the giver’s intentions. When your manager clumsily calls you out on a PowerPoint typo in front of the rest of the team, you assume she wants to embarrass you in front of your colleagues, because that’s how you feel. In reality, she probably had no idea it would touch a nerve, and just wanted to let you know so you could correct it for next time. 

A great way of avoiding this trap is always to assume that your feedback givers have positive intent and that the person to whom you are talking is trying to help, not harm. 

There will, however, still be times when feedback is hard to hear. And that can be really unhelpful, because one single negative thought can often take over our brains, pushing anything positive out of the picture. Psychologist Susan Nolen-Hoeksema has shown that when a single stressor kicks in, the resulting bad feelings unlock a wave of other, often unrelated, negative thoughts. 

So if one tough piece of feedback kick-starts a downward emotional spiral, regain control by asking yourself a few questions. What is true about what you heard? What do you think is biased? And, crucially, how can you use this to progress? Reflecting carefully on these questions will help you shift from punishment to progress. 

Knowing yourself and focusing on frequent, bite-sized bits of information is the way to give truly valuable feedback. 

Maybe you pride yourself on being straightforward and frank. Well, that might feel like harshness to someone more sensitive. So let’s take a look at the last step of a good feedback process: getting to know yourself.  Because your own personality, approach to working life and communication style influence the feedback you give.

So make sure you reflect on how you do things, and understand that sometimes you might need to adjust your tone or your approach. 

You should also make sure you are absolutely clear about your intentions when you go to give feedback. That’s because sometimes our reasons fall short of our goal: to help other people. If you are feeling angry about a missed deadline, or bruised from a badly performing project, and wanting to share a little blame, stop for a second. Ask yourself, Why am I really giving feedback? Is it to help this individual’s growth? Or am I really doing this for my own purposes? 

So now you’ve got the right attitude. What practical steps can you take to make your feedback top-notch? Well, a good way forward is to focus on giving frequent, bite-sized insights. 

The more frequently we share, the more all of us learn. A study of schoolchildren showed that their learning was more effective, and their performance better, when they received feedback before, during and after a learning process, instead of just afterward. It seemed to give them time and space to reflect on their new learnings as they absorbed them. Well, we adults are no different – and, according to experts, research suggests that giving informal feedback at least every two weeks is best. 

Maybe you are thinking, “Heck, I don’t have time for feedback sessions every two weeks!” Well, the good news is that you can keep things bite-sized. Try to give just one suggestion or goal that the receiver can focus on. All of us are bombarded by millions of pieces of information each day, so our processing capacity is at its limits. Keeping things small and manageable seriously increases the chances your feedback will be acted upon. And remember that the easiest way to start is by simply noticing all the great things that are happening around you, and feeding back to your coworkers what a positive impact they are having. 

So here’s one final piece of advice: spread more positive feedback. According to leadership consultant Jack Zenger, research shows that managers are actually less effusive and have less impact when it comes to sharing good feedback than they think they are. So even if you think you are giving out positive feedback, give a little more. 

For too many of us, feedback is a dirty word. When we think of feedback, we think of something gruesome. But it doesn’t have to be. When it’s done right, feedback can be the best driver of personal and business growth. By learning to make feedback frequent, fair and focused, we can minimize the fear and anxiety we feel about it, and turn it into a positive force for improvement.  

#How To Build A Better Feedback Culture

[jesseneufeld]

Recovery Workouts: Two Simple But Powerful Ways to Speed Fitness Recovery

For my entire athletic career, I considered the gold standard of recovery to be sleeping, resting on the couch watching T.V., and generally being still and inactive. Come on, what could be more effective than couch potato mode to recover from the hormonal and inflammatory stresses of marathon training runs or long days of extreme swim-bike-run workouts? I’m kidding (mostly), but it’s not a total exaggeration. Our understanding of fitness recovery has grown exponentially since I was in the elite arena, and it’s exciting to see new and better approaches taking root that genuinely speed recovery and stave off burnout. I’m sharing two such techniques today. They’re simple, mostly free, and accessible to anyone with the most basic fitness opportunities and venues.

Note: Here’s the thing…. This is the stuff you should focus on before considering advanced techniques like exposure to cold or heat, Theragun treatments (although I happen to be a fan of this device), hyperbaric oxygen chambers, etc.

“JFW”

The first recovery technique is to move more instead of just sit around. That’s right, science is validating the idea that if you make a concerted effort to increase all forms of general everyday movement in the hours and days after strenuous workouts, you will help minimize the inflammation and oxidative stress caused by strenuous workouts.

Let’s call this strategy JFW—Just F—ing Walk.

Moving your body through space helps you burn fat better, which will maximize the fat reduction goals of your workouts. Walking also helps boost brain function. A 2017 UCLA study comparing MRI scans revealed that active older folks (over 60 and walking more than three kilometers per day) have faster brain processing speed, better working memory for quick decisions, and better memory consolidation than inactive folks. In his book, The Real Happy Pill: Power Up Your Brain By Moving Your Body, Swedish researcher Dr. Anders Hansen reports that just taking a daily walk can reduce your risk of dementia by 40 percent.

Walking and general movement of any kind improve lymphatic function for a huge recovery boost. The lymphatic system is a plumbing network running throughout your body that detoxifies every cell, tissue and organ through a separate operating system from the cardiovascular system. The lymphatic system operates through a pumping process instead of a beating heart. This means that you’re obligated to move your muscles and joints to turbocharge lymphatic detoxification and avoid the pooling of lymphatic fluid caused by chilling on the couch in the hours and days after heavy workouts. Even the old-time exercise apparatus of the mini-trampoline has come into vogue recently because bouncing around for even a few minutes has been shown to significantly boost lymphatic function.

To help your lymphatic system function optimally, be sure to hydrate adequately at all times. While my original Primal Blueprint presentation suggested that you simply honor your thirst to achieve good hydration, recent science suggests that successful hydration can be a little more complicated. Stacy Sims, Ph.D., a hydration expert who studied thermoregulation at Stanford and is currently a senior research fellow at University of Waikato in New Zealand, is doing some great work in this field. Check out this fantastic infographic. Her research suggests that the female menstrual cycle can influence hydration needs and strategies. Another breakthrough insight is that strenuous workouts have the potential to mute your thirst mechanism; you may become too hot and tired or distracted to notice that you’re actually getting dehydrated. For most minimally active folks, going by thirst might be just fine; the kidneys do an excellent job regulating fluid and sodium balance in the body.

If you are a novice fitness enthusiast, a high performing athlete, or routinely exercise in hot temperatures, a deliberate pre- and post-workout hydration is a strategy worth considering and implementing. Sprinkle some high quality natural mineral salt in each glass of fluid, which will help it become better absorbed in the tissues throughout your body.

“Rebound” Workouts

Joel Jamieson, a noted trainer of world-champion MMA fighters in Washington (8WeeksOut.com—as in eight weeks out from a title bout), and developer of the Morpheus Recovery app, advocates a system called Rebound Training where specially designed workouts can actually speed recovery time in comparison with total rest. The idea that a Rebound Workout can boost recovery is validated through the tracking of Heart Rate Variability. Joel is a pioneer in Heart Rate Variability and has been tracking his fighters and other high performing athletes for decades. Yes, decades, as in dating back to the original hospital grade $30,000 units that required placement of a dozen electrodes on your skin.

The idea that a Rebound workout can beat couch time is an extraordinary revelation. Amazingly, when you drag your tired, stiff, sore body into the gym and do some foam rolling, deep breathing exercises, dynamic stretches, and even very brief explosive efforts, such as short sprints with long recovery on the bike, or “positive-only” deadlifts (lift the weight then drop it to the ground to prevent soreness caused by eccentric contractions), you can stimulate parasympathetic nervous system activity and actually accelerate recovery. The parasympathetic is known the “rest and digest” component of autonomic nervous system, and counterbalances the sympathetic “fight or flight” component.

You can learn more about Rebound Training and see a sample workout here. If you just want to dabble in the concept, know that increasing your walking and general movement in the hours and days after a challenging training session will help boost blood circulation and lymphatic function to speed recovery. I always find ways to walk more and spend more time at my stand-up desk in the 24 hours following a tough Ultimate Frisbee match or sprint workout.

Sample Restorative Workout

The next time you throw down a killer workout, trying heading to the gym the following day and creating a restorative experience.

Start by lying flat on the mat and completing 20 deep diaphragmatic breath cycles. When you’re in the prone position, you can hone good technique by placing your hand on your abdomen and making sure that the abdomen expands upon inhalation. First expand the abdomen, which enables the chest cavity to then expand outward and enable the full use of the diaphragm for a powerful breath. You notice this sequence better when laying down.

After 20 deep breaths, commence 10 minutes of foam rolling, dynamic stretches and flexibility drills.

Then, get a little sympathetic stimulation going with some bike sprints or positive only deadlifts as follows:

Exercise bike: Warmup five minutes, then sprint for 10 seconds, followed by 60 seconds of easy pedaling. Repeat for five repetitions.

Deadlift: With 70% of your one rep maximum weight, raise the bar three-quarters of the way to the top, then allow it to fall to the ground with minimal muscle engagement. Repeat five times.

The idea with these efforts is that you’ll trigger a brief stimulation of fight or flight sympathetic nervous system activity, but because the effort is so brief, you’ll prompt a compensatory parasympathetic reaction during the recovery period. The net effect of the session is to turbocharge parasympathetic for hours afterward to a greater extent than just chilling on the couch watching Netflix.

Thanks to the gentle nature of the session, you enjoy an increase in energy and alertness from getting the oxygen and blood flowing throughout the body—but without the cellular breakdown and glycogen depletion of a more strenuous workout. You should leave the gym feeling relaxed and a little looser than before the workout.

Implementing “Rebound”-style workouts, along with making a general effort to walk around more in the hours following your most challenging sessions aren’t just fun diversions; they’re part of putting recovery as the central element of your training program.

Final Thoughts…

Speaking of HRV, Jamieson offers a breakthrough insight that has helped me further appreciate the value of tracking HRV over time, and also alleviate some confusion that arose during some data accumulation over the past several years. If you’re a fan of HRV, you know a high HRV on the familiar 1-100 scale is indicative of a strong and rested cardiovascular system. You have a greater variation in beat-to-beat intervals than a lower score, indicating a harmonious balance between fight or flight sympathetic nervous system function and rest and digest parasympathetic nervous system function. A low HRV indicates a more metronomic heartbeat, and sympathetic nervous system dominance over parasympathetic. These are reliable signs of overtraining or a general overstress condition in life, or a weak cardiovascular system in general.

By tracking HRV for several weeks, you can establish a healthy baseline, then gauge your level of stress and readiness to train based on daily HRV fluctuations. Low equals overstressed, high equals healthy. That’s all well and good, but here’s an important nuance I learned from Joel about HRV readings significantly higher than your baseline: An 86 seems better than the usual 72-75, but actually an abnormally high HRV could be an indication of parasympathetic dominance versus a sympathetic-parasympathetic balance. When your parasympathetic kicks into overdrive, it’s possibly because you trashed yourself way beyond healthy limits, and you’re struggling to return to a rested and stress-balanced state. This explained some strange outlier readings where I felt pretty cooked after coming off a jet travel binge or a series of extreme workouts in a tight time frame but delivered a rock star HRV reading.

As I’ve written about before, I’m not a fan of overdoing biofeedback devices. I’ve used them and still do occasionally when I’m attempting something new or just want to check in with some hard data, but too much tech can disconnect you with your intuition—what should always be front and center in your assessments. Dr. Kelly Starrett references scientific research indicating that the single most valuable and accurate metric for your state of recovery is “desire to train.” I wonder how this goes up against the blood lactate meters at the U.S. Olympic Training Center and any ring or watch data you can accumulate. I have confidence it would hold its own in most scenarios.

Thanks for stopping by today, everybody. How do you do recovery? What have you learned over the years in your own study and experience. Have a great end to the week.

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[lauramalchowblog]

Recovery Workouts: Two Simple But Powerful Ways to Speed Fitness Recovery

For my entire athletic career, I considered the gold standard of recovery to be sleeping, resting on the couch watching T.V., and generally being still and inactive. Come on, what could be more effective than couch potato mode to recover from the hormonal and inflammatory stresses of marathon training runs or long days of extreme swim-bike-run workouts? I’m kidding (mostly), but it’s not a total exaggeration. Our understanding of fitness recovery has grown exponentially since I was in the elite arena, and it’s exciting to see new and better approaches taking root that genuinely speed recovery and stave off burnout. I’m sharing two such techniques today. They’re simple, mostly free, and accessible to anyone with the most basic fitness opportunities and venues.

Note: Here’s the thing…. This is the stuff you should focus on before considering advanced techniques like exposure to cold or heat, Theragun treatments (although I happen to be a fan of this device), hyperbaric oxygen chambers, etc.

“JFW”

The first recovery technique is to move more instead of just sit around. That’s right, science is validating the idea that if you make a concerted effort to increase all forms of general everyday movement in the hours and days after strenuous workouts, you will help minimize the inflammation and oxidative stress caused by strenuous workouts.

Let’s call this strategy JFW—Just F—ing Walk.

Moving your body through space helps you burn fat better, which will maximize the fat reduction goals of your workouts. Walking also helps boost brain function. A 2017 UCLA study comparing MRI scans revealed that active older folks (over 60 and walking more than three kilometers per day) have faster brain processing speed, better working memory for quick decisions, and better memory consolidation than inactive folks. In his book, The Real Happy Pill: Power Up Your Brain By Moving Your Body, Swedish researcher Dr. Anders Hansen reports that just taking a daily walk can reduce your risk of dementia by 40 percent.

Walking and general movement of any kind improve lymphatic function for a huge recovery boost. The lymphatic system is a plumbing network running throughout your body that detoxifies every cell, tissue and organ through a separate operating system from the cardiovascular system. The lymphatic system operates through a pumping process instead of a beating heart. This means that you’re obligated to move your muscles and joints to turbocharge lymphatic detoxification and avoid the pooling of lymphatic fluid caused by chilling on the couch in the hours and days after heavy workouts. Even the old-time exercise apparatus of the mini-trampoline has come into vogue recently because bouncing around for even a few minutes has been shown to significantly boost lymphatic function.

To help your lymphatic system function optimally, be sure to hydrate adequately at all times. While my original Primal Blueprint presentation suggested that you simply honor your thirst to achieve good hydration, recent science suggests that successful hydration can be a little more complicated. Stacy Sims, Ph.D., a hydration expert who studied thermoregulation at Stanford and is currently a senior research fellow at University of Waikato in New Zealand, is doing some great work in this field. Check out this fantastic infographic. Her research suggests that the female menstrual cycle can influence hydration needs and strategies. Another breakthrough insight is that strenuous workouts have the potential to mute your thirst mechanism; you may become too hot and tired or distracted to notice that you’re actually getting dehydrated. For most minimally active folks, going by thirst might be just fine; the kidneys do an excellent job regulating fluid and sodium balance in the body.

If you are a novice fitness enthusiast, a high performing athlete, or routinely exercise in hot temperatures, a deliberate pre- and post-workout hydration is a strategy worth considering and implementing. Sprinkle some high quality natural mineral salt in each glass of fluid, which will help it become better absorbed in the tissues throughout your body.

“Rebound” Workouts

Joel Jamieson, a noted trainer of world-champion MMA fighters in Washington (8WeeksOut.com—as in eight weeks out from a title bout), and developer of the Morpheus Recovery app, advocates a system called Rebound Training where specially designed workouts can actually speed recovery time in comparison with total rest. The idea that a Rebound Workout can boost recovery is validated through the tracking of Heart Rate Variability. Joel is a pioneer in Heart Rate Variability and has been tracking his fighters and other high performing athletes for decades. Yes, decades, as in dating back to the original hospital grade $30,000 units that required placement of a dozen electrodes on your skin.

The idea that a Rebound workout can beat couch time is an extraordinary revelation. Amazingly, when you drag your tired, stiff, sore body into the gym and do some foam rolling, deep breathing exercises, dynamic stretches, and even very brief explosive efforts, such as short sprints with long recovery on the bike, or “positive-only” deadlifts (lift the weight then drop it to the ground to prevent soreness caused by eccentric contractions), you can stimulate parasympathetic nervous system activity and actually accelerate recovery. The parasympathetic is known the “rest and digest” component of autonomic nervous system, and counterbalances the sympathetic “fight or flight” component.

You can learn more about Rebound Training and see a sample workout here. If you just want to dabble in the concept, know that increasing your walking and general movement in the hours and days after a challenging training session will help boost blood circulation and lymphatic function to speed recovery. I always find ways to walk more and spend more time at my stand-up desk in the 24 hours following a tough Ultimate Frisbee match or sprint workout.

Sample Restorative Workout

The next time you throw down a killer workout, trying heading to the gym the following day and creating a restorative experience.

Start by lying flat on the mat and completing 20 deep diaphragmatic breath cycles. When you’re in the prone position, you can hone good technique by placing your hand on your abdomen and making sure that the abdomen expands upon inhalation. First expand the abdomen, which enables the chest cavity to then expand outward and enable the full use of the diaphragm for a powerful breath. You notice this sequence better when laying down.

After 20 deep breaths, commence 10 minutes of foam rolling, dynamic stretches and flexibility drills.

Then, get a little sympathetic stimulation going with some bike sprints or positive only deadlifts as follows:

Exercise bike: Warmup five minutes, then sprint for 10 seconds, followed by 60 seconds of easy pedaling. Repeat for five repetitions.

Deadlift: With 70% of your one rep maximum weight, raise the bar three-quarters of the way to the top, then allow it to fall to the ground with minimal muscle engagement. Repeat five times.

The idea with these efforts is that you’ll trigger a brief stimulation of fight or flight sympathetic nervous system activity, but because the effort is so brief, you’ll prompt a compensatory parasympathetic reaction during the recovery period. The net effect of the session is to turbocharge parasympathetic for hours afterward to a greater extent than just chilling on the couch watching Netflix.

Thanks to the gentle nature of the session, you enjoy an increase in energy and alertness from getting the oxygen and blood flowing throughout the body—but without the cellular breakdown and glycogen depletion of a more strenuous workout. You should leave the gym feeling relaxed and a little looser than before the workout.

Implementing “Rebound”-style workouts, along with making a general effort to walk around more in the hours following your most challenging sessions aren’t just fun diversions; they’re part of putting recovery as the central element of your training program.

Final Thoughts…

Speaking of HRV, Jamieson offers a breakthrough insight that has helped me further appreciate the value of tracking HRV over time, and also alleviate some confusion that arose during some data accumulation over the past several years. If you’re a fan of HRV, you know a high HRV on the familiar 1-100 scale is indicative of a strong and rested cardiovascular system. You have a greater variation in beat-to-beat intervals than a lower score, indicating a harmonious balance between fight or flight sympathetic nervous system function and rest and digest parasympathetic nervous system function. A low HRV indicates a more metronomic heartbeat, and sympathetic nervous system dominance over parasympathetic. These are reliable signs of overtraining or a general overstress condition in life, or a weak cardiovascular system in general.

By tracking HRV for several weeks, you can establish a healthy baseline, then gauge your level of stress and readiness to train based on daily HRV fluctuations. Low equals overstressed, high equals healthy. That’s all well and good, but here’s an important nuance I learned from Joel about HRV readings significantly higher than your baseline: An 86 seems better than the usual 72-75, but actually an abnormally high HRV could be an indication of parasympathetic dominance versus a sympathetic-parasympathetic balance. When your parasympathetic kicks into overdrive, it’s possibly because you trashed yourself way beyond healthy limits, and you’re struggling to return to a rested and stress-balanced state. This explained some strange outlier readings where I felt pretty cooked after coming off a jet travel binge or a series of extreme workouts in a tight time frame but delivered a rock star HRV reading.

As I’ve written about before, I’m not a fan of overdoing biofeedback devices. I’ve used them and still do occasionally when I’m attempting something new or just want to check in with some hard data, but too much tech can disconnect you with your intuition—what should always be front and center in your assessments. Dr. Kelly Starrett references scientific research indicating that the single most valuable and accurate metric for your state of recovery is “desire to train.” I wonder how this goes up against the blood lactate meters at the U.S. Olympic Training Center and any ring or watch data you can accumulate. I have confidence it would hold its own in most scenarios.

Thanks for stopping by today, everybody. How do you do recovery? What have you learned over the years in your own study and experience. Have a great end to the week.

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[positivepsychologyinterventions]

7 Ways to Help a Child Deal with Traumatic Stress

Life is stressful. That’s a fact. To grow and learn we must try new things. Struggling, prevailing, and tolerating failures along the way builds confidence and the deep feeling in a child that “I can do it.” But the positive aspects of struggle and stress are lost when the amount of stress becomes too great and/or sustained.

Persistent and long-lasting stress on the mind and body caused by overwhelming emotions leads to traumatic stress, a condition characterized by a nervous system in overdrive. The brain’s emotional centers lock into a state of DANGER and the body operates in fight, flight, and freeze modes.

Traumatic stress feels awful. The body tenses and succumbs to many other physiological changes leading to digestive problems and headaches, for example. Furthermore, children overwhelmed by emotions can’t engage positively in learning as curiosity in the outside world is a byproduct of a calm nervous system, not one that’s in a state of high alert.

Imagine for a moment what it feels like when you are terrified. Do you feel well? Do you feel like learning, engaging in life, socializing with others? No! When children and adults alike are terrified, we want to run away, hide, and find safety again as soon as possible so we feel better. When we are scared, we feel vulnerable and insecure. After a while, we feel hopeless, numb and even dead inside. Depression, chronic anxiety, substance abuse, isolation, and aggression, are all symptoms of traumatic stress.

So, what can be done to help a child experiencing traumatic stress? Help them to feel calmer. Here are 7 ways:

1. Be with them — connection is soothing.

John Bowlby, the father of Attachment Theory, taught us that children need to feel safe and secure to thrive. It may seem elementary, but the first aspect of creating safety for a child is being there so a connection can be established.

A child with traumatic stress is scared (even if they don’t appear so on the outside, like how a bully or aggressive child may present). Simply having someone in the room can be a comfort even when there is push-back from the child. Being alone heightens fear.

2. Be gentle so as not to inadvertently startle or jar a child.

A child suffering traumatic stress is fragile and prickly, a byproduct of a hyper-aroused nervous system. We live in a very left-brain dominant culture where we don’t talk nearly enough about emotional safety conveyed through right brain communications. Right-brained communications are the non-verbal cues we unconsciously pick up from one another. Right-brain communications include tone of voice, eye contact, and body language.

Adults should strive to speak in a gentle, calm voice with soft eyes and slow movements to avoid jarring or startling a child. Just think about how you like to be approached when you are upset.

3. Play fosters safe positive connection, and positive connection is calming.

Play feels good and healthy for all people no matter what age. According to Polyvagal theory, play stimulates the social engagement system of the vagus nerve, the body’s largest nerve, and therefore relaxes the nervous system.

Play helps a child feel better and calm down. But play involves so much more than a game. It involves connection, smiling, speaking with a cheery and playful tone of voice, and movement. All of those actions calm a child.

It may seem counter intuitive to initiate play with a child under stress, but if they are receptive, it gives the nervous system a chance to calm down. Even if for a little while, a moment of playfulness is good.

4. Help a child name their feelings.

Putting language on emotions helps calm down the nervous system. We can use stories, our own personal stories or ones we create, to help a child put language on their emotions. For example, a mother could share with her traumatized child, “When I was little, my mother went away for a long time. She was sick, so she had to go to where doctors could help her. Even though I understood why she went away, I was still so sad and scared. And, sometimes I even felt angry at her for not being there for me. All those feelings are so natural.”

There are many ways to help children put language on their feelings. You can show them drawings of little faces with many feelings and they can point to the ones they relate to. You can help a child name their feelings with games, drawings, and puppets.

5. Help a child express their feelings.

Emotions contain impulses that generate biological energy. This energy needs to be expressed so it doesn’t get pent-up inside. For example, if a child is in danger, their brain will trigger fear. Fear sends signals throughout the body, setting off impulses to run. But if a child is in a situation where they cannot run to safety, like being restrained by Mexican border patrolmen, all that energy gets trapped in the body and leads to symptoms of traumatic stress.

Helping a child express their emotions can be done in a variety of creative ways, such as the through art, play, stories, fantasy, puppets, or by helping the child verbally or physically express themselves. You should feel free to experiment and take your cues from the child for what works best. Cues to look for that indicate you are helping a child are expressions of relief, happiness, calm, and a desire to play and connect more. If an intervention is not helping, you’ll see a child’s face and body demonstrate more tension, sadness, anger, rigidity, and withdrawal.

6. When a child accepts it, give hugs and other physical affection.

Holding, rocking, stroking, hugging, and swaddling can help soothe a stressed nervous system. Again, take your cues from the child. If they don’t like something, don’t do it. You can tell by the way the child looks and reacts if they are responding positive or negatively. If they stiffen, it’s a protest. If they relax and soften, that’s a green light.

7. Reassure a child and help them make sense of what’s happening.

A little reassurance goes along way. Be explicit! Say things like, “You will be ok,” “This feeling is temporary,” “You are not alone,” “It’s not your fault,” and, “You don’t deserve this.”

Don’t lie to a child. Do look for truthful ways you can reassure them that they are safe now and will not be alone. Explain what has happened and what is currently happening. For example, in the case of parental separation, “Mommy and daddy are safe and soon you will see them again. Until then, we’ll be together every day and I’ll take care of you.” Reassuring a child that they didn’t do anything bad and that they matter helps because children internalize shame, a sense that they are bad or unworthy when they feel bad.  

Humans are wired for connection and thrive in conditions of safety and security. When safety and security is compromised, we must do everything we can to restore a child’s sense of safety and security as fast as possible. There are many educational resources available to adults that teach how to minimize stress and foster recovery in children. The cost to our society is great when our children suffer.

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[psychotherapyconsultants]

7 Ways to Help a Child Deal with Traumatic Stress

Life is stressful. That’s a fact. To grow and learn we must try new things. Struggling, prevailing, and tolerating failures along the way builds confidence and the deep feeling in a child that “I can do it.” But the positive aspects of struggle and stress are lost when the amount of stress becomes too great and/or sustained.

Persistent and long-lasting stress on the mind and body caused by overwhelming emotions leads to traumatic stress, a condition characterized by a nervous system in overdrive. The brain’s emotional centers lock into a state of DANGER and the body operates in fight, flight, and freeze modes.

Traumatic stress feels awful. The body tenses and succumbs to many other physiological changes leading to digestive problems and headaches, for example. Furthermore, children overwhelmed by emotions can’t engage positively in learning as curiosity in the outside world is a byproduct of a calm nervous system, not one that’s in a state of high alert.

Imagine for a moment what it feels like when you are terrified. Do you feel well? Do you feel like learning, engaging in life, socializing with others? No! When children and adults alike are terrified, we want to run away, hide, and find safety again as soon as possible so we feel better. When we are scared, we feel vulnerable and insecure. After a while, we feel hopeless, numb and even dead inside. Depression, chronic anxiety, substance abuse, isolation, and aggression, are all symptoms of traumatic stress.

So, what can be done to help a child experiencing traumatic stress? Help them to feel calmer. Here are 7 ways:

1. Be with them — connection is soothing.

John Bowlby, the father of Attachment Theory, taught us that children need to feel safe and secure to thrive. It may seem elementary, but the first aspect of creating safety for a child is being there so a connection can be established.

A child with traumatic stress is scared (even if they don’t appear so on the outside, like how a bully or aggressive child may present). Simply having someone in the room can be a comfort even when there is push-back from the child. Being alone heightens fear.

2. Be gentle so as not to inadvertently startle or jar a child.

A child suffering traumatic stress is fragile and prickly, a byproduct of a hyper-aroused nervous system. We live in a very left-brain dominant culture where we don’t talk nearly enough about emotional safety conveyed through right brain communications. Right-brained communications are the non-verbal cues we unconsciously pick up from one another. Right-brain communications include tone of voice, eye contact, and body language.

Adults should strive to speak in a gentle, calm voice with soft eyes and slow movements to avoid jarring or startling a child. Just think about how you like to be approached when you are upset.

3. Play fosters safe positive connection, and positive connection is calming.

Play feels good and healthy for all people no matter what age. According to Polyvagal theory, play stimulates the social engagement system of the vagus nerve, the body’s largest nerve, and therefore relaxes the nervous system.

Play helps a child feel better and calm down. But play involves so much more than a game. It involves connection, smiling, speaking with a cheery and playful tone of voice, and movement. All of those actions calm a child.

It may seem counter intuitive to initiate play with a child under stress, but if they are receptive, it gives the nervous system a chance to calm down. Even if for a little while, a moment of playfulness is good.

4. Help a child name their feelings.

Putting language on emotions helps calm down the nervous system. We can use stories, our own personal stories or ones we create, to help a child put language on their emotions. For example, a mother could share with her traumatized child, “When I was little, my mother went away for a long time. She was sick, so she had to go to where doctors could help her. Even though I understood why she went away, I was still so sad and scared. And, sometimes I even felt angry at her for not being there for me. All those feelings are so natural.”

There are many ways to help children put language on their feelings. You can show them drawings of little faces with many feelings and they can point to the ones they relate to. You can help a child name their feelings with games, drawings, and puppets.

5. Help a child express their feelings.

Emotions contain impulses that generate biological energy. This energy needs to be expressed so it doesn’t get pent-up inside. For example, if a child is in danger, their brain will trigger fear. Fear sends signals throughout the body, setting off impulses to run. But if a child is in a situation where they cannot run to safety, like being restrained by Mexican border patrolmen, all that energy gets trapped in the body and leads to symptoms of traumatic stress.

Helping a child express their emotions can be done in a variety of creative ways, such as the through art, play, stories, fantasy, puppets, or by helping the child verbally or physically express themselves. You should feel free to experiment and take your cues from the child for what works best. Cues to look for that indicate you are helping a child are expressions of relief, happiness, calm, and a desire to play and connect more. If an intervention is not helping, you’ll see a child’s face and body demonstrate more tension, sadness, anger, rigidity, and withdrawal.

6. When a child accepts it, give hugs and other physical affection.

Holding, rocking, stroking, hugging, and swaddling can help soothe a stressed nervous system. Again, take your cues from the child. If they don’t like something, don’t do it. You can tell by the way the child looks and reacts if they are responding positive or negatively. If they stiffen, it’s a protest. If they relax and soften, that’s a green light.

7. Reassure a child and help them make sense of what’s happening.

A little reassurance goes along way. Be explicit! Say things like, “You will be ok,” “This feeling is temporary,” “You are not alone,” “It’s not your fault,” and, “You don’t deserve this.”

Don’t lie to a child. Do look for truthful ways you can reassure them that they are safe now and will not be alone. Explain what has happened and what is currently happening. For example, in the case of parental separation, “Mommy and daddy are safe and soon you will see them again. Until then, we’ll be together every day and I’ll take care of you.” Reassuring a child that they didn’t do anything bad and that they matter helps because children internalize shame, a sense that they are bad or unworthy when they feel bad.  

Humans are wired for connection and thrive in conditions of safety and security. When safety and security is compromised, we must do everything we can to restore a child’s sense of safety and security as fast as possible. There are many educational resources available to adults that teach how to minimize stress and foster recovery in children. The cost to our society is great when our children suffer.

from World of Psychology https://psychcentral.com/blog/7-ways-to-help-a-child-deal-with-traumatic-stress/

#World of Psychology