#my feelings don't matter anymore | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sp00kysk3lly · 2 months

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I’m really starting to hate every single person in this world.

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royalarchivist · 1 month

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[A sad violin song plays over an image of a sad hamster]

Pac: This doesn't have anything to do with me – I wear a blue sweatshirt, you're crazy, this mouse doesn't even have a sweatshirt, this hamster! [Reading chat] Am I a depressed hamster?

[ Transcript continued ↓ ]*

–

Pac: Actually– that's fine! I embrace that idea – of course I'm going to be depressed, are you crazy? [He hits his desk, then starts counting off people on his fingers] Fit is gone, Richarlyson is gone, Ramon is gone, Bagi and Empanada who were always there when we were there are also gone, I haven't seen them! It's just me and Tubbo, and sometimes Philza shows up.

Pac: I lost Chume Labs, I lost the Favela, I lost Murder Mystery, I lost Ilha Chume Labs, it's crazy! Look at how much I've lost, and I've gained nothing! Of course I'm going to be depressed, are you crazy?! How am I supposed to be happy?!

Pac: [Reading chat] "You have us Pac," that's true, thank you. No, that's true, sorry.

* NOTE: Please note that this is an incomplete transcript, as I was primarily relying on Aypierre's translation mod at the time and if I am not confident of the translation, I do not include it. As always, please feel free to add on translations or message me corrections.

#Pactw #QSMP #Pac #March 18 2024 #As much as I love keeping people updated about Pac / the other Portuguese-speaking creators #I think I might not make as many transcribed posts for their clips anymore #I just don't think I'm qualified enough to be transcribing things for a language I don't know #like yeah we have the Qlobal Translator and Aypierre's translators to rely on #And I'm always upfront when I'm not 100% sure about a translation #but I've been thinking about it a lot and it kinda makes me feel a bit icky. Idk.#I might be overthinking this but I just I don't want to spread around translations I'm not super confident about #esp. since I know a lot of people cite my clips in analysis posts or link them to other people as resources #and 90% of the time I'm like ''Hell yeah I love seeing people getting a lot of use out of the archive''#but sometimes I get a bit anxious like ''Did I do a good enough job translating this''#''Am I ruining someone's entire perception of a conversation or character because I left one word out or mistranslated something?''#And like I said that's normally not a HUGE concern since if I'm not certain about a translation I just won't post a clip. but you know #idk it might just be the anxiety talking but I really really don't want to spread bad info #Happy to hear other folks' perspective #I'm really grateful for people like Bell and Pix and others who translate clips and I always try to reblog those #but we don't have a ton of people posting clips & translating things on Tumblr since we're so English-centric #which is part of the reason WHY I like sharing clips of the non-English-speaking CCs #but at the same time I want to do an accurate job representing what they're saying #Maybe I'll just start posting things and give a TLDR context of what they're talking about but not a transcript #that way native-speakers can hop in and add translations if that's something they're comfortable doing #and if not then well. at least I'm not sharing something that isn't super accurate #idk I'm just thinking out loud a bit in the tags #But I'm open to hearing other people's thoughts on the matter #Anyways giant rant aside. q!Pac is NOT doing ok rn

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keepthetension · 3 months

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this was made especially for those of us who cut ties with our shitty families, huh

i cried so much this whole episode. i know that i can't be in that house and be who i am at the same time, but the guilt and shame never really go away. i love that this episode said, wholeheartedly: fuck what society says, you should be wherever allows you to be happiest

anyway! you always hear that family estrangement is rare in asian communities, but i did it! and you can do it, too! dump your shitty family! i believe in you~

#tsukuritai onna to tabetai onna #it's incredible like i don't think i fully realized how ashamed i feel until this episode had me ugly crying into my blankie #especially because the abuse was invisible and people say: oh everyone's family says harsh things! it's because they care! they love you!#and no matter how hard you try to explain the magnitude of what was done to you people still shrug and say but they're *family*#not that there was ZERO physical abuse but like. that's just How It Is in the community i grew up in so it's not a Reason reason #and that's all aside from all that's expected of me as the child of an asian family (that i am simply doing none of)#FUCK i guess i just compartmentalized all of this so securely i didn't think it could bleed out anymore #thanks tsukutabe. i guess?#this show is RELENTLESSLY coming for me this season too like explicitly stated asexual rep? a treat for me personally!#idk i never expected an asian drama to be so clear about this especially because kasuga's abuse was invisible too #and the idea of not sacrificing yourself for your parents is COUNTER to what you're supposed to do #i am just VERY EMOTIONAL right now #i love kasuga so much and it was rough to see her going through it but i am SO HAPPY that she's accepted and loved

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ebonytails · 1 day

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maybe im just dumb but what is the difference between kris p and kris t?

TL;DR - They are Kris Dreemurr fictives and we needed a way to differentiate them

Oh you're not dumb, don't worry! It really is a little confusing because we haven't talked about who they or we are in a very long time. I'm going to talk a lot here so you have all the context you might need! If it''s too long,, the TL;DR above is the gist of it.

For context, we are a system! You can read about it a little in our FAQ

Kris T and Kris P are TWO Kris introjects/fictives of Kris Dreemurr from Deltarune in our system.

Originally we just had Kris T who split in Dec 2018, and then when Chapter 2 came out, Kris P came into our system after that. Of course at first, Kris T. was just "Kris", but since we had a double now, we had to figure out how to differentiate between the two. We knew another Kris fictive from a different system at this time who was nicknamed P. Kris by Susie in our system, and susie wanted to emphasize who she was talking about.

SO. As a small nod to that, everyone decided to nickname Kris P as Kris P, as an inverse of P. Kris.

A little convoluted, I know!

Besides being Kris introjects/fictives though, they also look different! I made some new drawings to try and showcase their differences if that helps :3?

Their dark world forms also look different. Kris T's is simpler, with a shiny soft cape, while Kris P's is more complicated with a hooded cape, which is also described as "very comfortable"

Here's a whole Toyhouse of images of how Kris T. looks like right now! There's also his reference ! vvv

Sorry if you weren't interested in our "life story"! They're not just random characterizations (they are alters), so I wasn't sure how to answer w/o giving you some sort of explanation.

They have their own sideblogs, so if you have specific questions directed towards them, you can always ask here because we'll see it better, or you can send them an ask in their own blogs. Kris T's is @kristalpepsi, and Kris P's is @itswhattheycallyou

#ask #Anon #fictive #fictives #headspace #ebonytailsart #Because I drew something I guess???#Tumblr is going to be special because I think these images are going to be too haunted for Twitter and Instagram #Feel free to call Kris T. Kritty or Kris T.!#Please be nice to him. He is still a person and presents as trans and nonbinary both inside and when fronting #He just so happens to use binary pronouns.#This is all information they're willing to share publicly! Especially because this has all been public information since 2018 lol!#In regards to 'does this means I cant reblog art of them anymore or use their art as my icon/header?' you still can! It doesn't matter.#As long as the post itself doesn't say “do not use as...” then don't worry about it! :3 #Being a system in public/ online and having UTDR fictives is actually rather terrifying. Susie is just very brave about it and doesn't care #Hm what else.. this really brings us back to ogeeitsme.. when people would ask us questions about our system a lot.#Like 'what's the difference between Chara's and Kris's eyes?" We drew a whole graph for that hehe #From Kit #If I get too scared I may delete this.

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vargaslovinghours · 8 days

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And never let you go ♥

Bonus without the overspill lighting:

#💟#Digital art #Full Art #Art #Edgar #Scriabin #It's that time of year again where I get real sappy about Vargas ♥ Because yes! Once again it is my own personal Vargasversary! 🎊 Yaaaay #Seven years now - I don't know what to do with seven years it feels like a hard to define number haha #Right in the middle between five years and ten years! A while to be certain but hard to define as a Long Time either hmm #Well whatever it doesn't matter <3 The important part is that I still love Vargas and them very much ♥♪#I actually didn't really have any specific plans for this Vargasversary :0 I haven't been drawing them much again #Other things have drawn my focus and attention hehe ♪#So I just kinda set my hand loose - no sketches on paper no defined idea - this is just what my hand/brain came up with in the moment #I'm pleased :) I think it accurately expresses how I feel about them hehe <3 #I wrote down what ended up being the text/caption a couple months ago while I was in Big Love in their direction #I don't remember what inspired it anymore other than just - They ♥ Themst ♥ Do love them <3 #I've planned my next reread now ♪ Barring anything drastic (like an update lol) I know when I'll be rereading next #I'm looking forward to it! :D As always hehe <3 #It's still a bit a ways off which works well for recharging :)#And of course I'll be doing my usual in the meanwhile - this and the main anniversary and my sketchdumps and Requestober haha #The caption is as much me as it is Edgar after all <3 #Even quiet and sleeping I still find them as a comfort - a place I find rest and joy in ♥#Inspiring and lovely and wonderful - pretty and tender and dear!#Oh and #Always finding a way to flip up the bottom of the shirt #Hehe <3

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miodiodavinci · 11 days

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I made a Vocaloid channel but I'm having trouble getting views. I like making covers for fun but I wish I could get more than a handful of views, especially since I haven't even gotten 5 on my latest ones. I use Vocaloid 6, which may be the problem since not many people talk much about it as much as the older versions

Would you have any advice as to what I can do?

m m m m m , , , , , , i feel like it's hard to say—back in the day when i was doing UTAU work, most of the interaction i got with my work was from my friends from UTAForum. we all sort of just shared our work with each other and supported one another doing our fun little hobby. though the sort of forum culture that spawned that sort of friend circle has kind of disappeared by this point , , , , ,

but honestly, even still—find folks whose work you like and get involved!! share your work on other sites and shout out people you like!! support the folks around you and establish yourself as part of a community

(of course like. don't treat it as a transactional thing. if there's one way to ensure No One interacts with your work it's to. comment on people's things or shout people out and then get passive aggressive expecting a response back. doesn't work like that. you support people because you love them and their work—not because you want something in return.)

but even more than that, honestly just keep doing what you do and the love in your work will come across in heaps and bounds, and someone will be bound to listen. people also tend to get interested the more you put your own spin on something, whether it's creating your own PVs, adding your own harmonies, sharing some of your files, or linking multiple covers together as part of a kind of overarching story. if you make it yours, it'll be yours for good.

like, at the end of the day we can all agree that views are just a number on a screen and are kind of meaningless and no one should base their worth on them, but also yeah it kind of wears you down after a while to keep sharing things you've put a lot of love and effort into with no response.

i'd just like to encourage you not to lose your passion for it—views or not, there's a lot to be gain by pursuing something you love. your VOCALOID endeavors are only just beginning, and who knows where you'll end up ! ! ! ! take the journey as far as it'll take you, and have fun all the while ! ! ! ! ! ! !

also send me your work i want to listen 👁 👁

#mio answers things #anon #is. what i think i mean to say sjdhflkgjhjdfg #forgive me i am bad with advice like this #but i think the long and short of it is I Feel You Deeply Anon #you awakened visceral memories of posting cover after cover onto deviantART and UTAU forum and getting like. 1 view.#and the feeling suuuuucckkkks so bad #but like. very much what kept me going was just. sharing with friends instead #like. if i am being wholly and completely honest??#even now i usually make my covers with maybe 5 people in mind. 10 max.#i work on my covers and i have fun and i think about like 4 or 5 of my friends i know will go nuts over it when i post it #and really that's what matters to me most skjhdflgjh #NOT THAT I DON'T SUPER APPRECIATE ALL THE LOVE AND SUPPORT I GET FROM EVERYONE . . . . .#but like. when i was working on my wanderlast cover i was literally just sitting there thinking 'ohhhhhhhh myst is going to love this w'#you really do just make for yourself and your friends and you will be so so happy forever #but also again. i feel you on the views w #fight the urge to base your worth on it #but also know that YEAH if you've got people you like and they like your work back #the views will get better and they won't matter so much anymore w

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attleboy · 2 months

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Why do u draw?

oooooooo [rubs hands together] a fun one that probably isn't that deep but i'm going to take way too seriously!

so the short answer is fun, but i can never just say one sentence and be done with it soooo i elaborated and wrote a whole essay below. sorry not sorry

anyway if you didn't want my origin story no shame in that, it's not gonna be on the quiz, just keep scrolling :P

to cover all my bases let me start from the beginning and work my way forward...

i think pretty much all kids draw at least a little just because they can, but the thing that really inspired me to take art seriously was the great abundance of cat animations on youtube in the early 2010s... warrior cats amvs mostly, but also artists like bani the kitty and splashkittyartist! you can really see these inspirations in my early digital art hehehe (see below by attle b. age 8)

from then until about age 14 art was just... my thing? i did it pretty much everyday, probably couldn't have imagined life without it... i think back then my motivations were more inline with your typical social media artist motivations... get better, be seen, and maybe make a career out of it? never made it that far though because ehhhh life has different plans i guess

i fell into an art slump in the middle of high school for a variety of personal reasons i won't get into, and as such i had to give up my dreams of creating art as a job

as sad as that was in the moment, it forced me to change my outlook on the whole ordeal in a way that i think was ultimately healthier for me.

that brought me to where i am now! since i have no goals beyond keeping at it as a hobby, i do it simply because i enjoy the process, the product, and i feel like it lets me connect with my interests in a way i otherwise couldn't.

it's a fun way to express love for the things i care about, and while i still enjoy honing my skills i don't feel the same pressure to be perfect that i used to which is really freeing!!

so in that sense it's intrinsic motivation that makes me draw what i draw... however, the amount of art i put out and the polish i give it is definitely motivated by the eyes i have on me... while i'd still be drawing the same things if no one was watching, i would not be putting nearly as much effort into it, nor would i be doing it as regularly, so i do thank you guys for keeping me on track there <3

that's it i think? i could get into the philosophy of it, but i'll spare you that... okay thank you for letting me yap!!! ^-^

#of course while i mainly do art for myself i have been considering commissions #bc i also enjoy seeing other people's original creations and ideas and working with those!!#it still fits into my reasons for making art because in those cases i feel it's almost a love letter to art and creativity itself #like art fight was pretty much the only time of year i actually rendered art during that aforementioned art slump #and ik it wasn't to get art for ME bc i made filler ocs for it i didn't give a shit about with the sole intent of giving people options LOL #but i also don't think i could do it for free anymore? not with my lack of time and the amount of people who could potentially want it #BUT none of that MATTERS if i can't get off my ASS and make an info sheet and a paypal and figure out prices and UGH!!! business stuff :(#me chat.#ask response #long post

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izloveshorses · 4 months

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how do you guys like your one-shot collections? normally when i read a collection of short one-shots unrelated to each other on ao3, i don't mind it being on a single work (meaning each chapter is its own fic), as that's what i've read before and it's easy for me to bookmark. but some folks are saying they prefer people post the fics separately and just put them in a series or something. i suppose it's easier to find individual stories that way, but doesn't it clog up the ship tag? what do you think?

what do you guys like? whether it's a collection of tumblr ask prompts or drabbles or a monthly/weekly writing exercise or something of the same sort, do you like the fics posted separately on their own or do you like them all in one place?

feel free to put your reasoning in the tags/replies :)

#fanfiction #polls #i have a one-shot collection posted as one work #(aka the first option)#and that's what a lot of my writer mutuals have done in the past #and that was once the really popular thing to do #but y'all won't hurt my feelings either way ahlkjsdf #and i just don't know that i'm in the loop enough anymore to know what the girls are doing now #i suppose it doesn't matter and i can just do what i want ahsjkdfk #but idk i thought i'd ask #bc..... we may or may not be considering sharing more ****** one shots in the future idk #.... for the girls

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ratinthevoid · 21 days

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why did i believe i can ever come out to her

#i need to move out i need to move out i need to move out #i hate this #i can't do this anymore #i hate them but i feel like i'm not a loved to bc they care about me #fuck christiany and your stupid god #i was trying so hard and i can excuse a lot but what's even the point if they never understand #christianity is so evil so fucking evil it rots your brain #she tak about leftist propaganda and cults like she didn't let one control her for years #she want me to tell her stuff promises she can support me but it's simply a lie #she can only accept me if i'm the daughter she want me to be if i bend in the ways that are comfortable #just a little more but every day is so fucking hard #i know i'm gonna suffer and that i may be alone my whole life #but i prefer to be alone and suffer in a different place than be stuck here #and maybe i don't have to be alone maybe other people can have friends that actually care about them #fuck i believed for so long she won't have problem with me being aro like it's not even a sin right???#i keep doing that i'm trying to tell them everything so they tell me what they really think and i'm not the bad person #but it doesn't matter if i'm the evil here i can accept it i was trying for so long #i know i'm difficult but maybe it can be easier for everyone if you just give up on me

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just-a-little-hater · 2 months

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I am being so normal about Jonathan Joestar, definitely don't want to sleep on his chest curled up like a cat all cozy and comfy, definitely not

#I don't even care about part 1 that much but I have such strong feelings about this guy #he just would be so nice to have around yk #would just be so comfy none of my problems would matter anymore #jjba #jojo #jojos bizarre adventure #jonathan joestar #phantom blood

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sp00kysk3lly · 3 months

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When people don’t speak to me or are clearly ignoring me I instantly believe they hate me and don’t want to know me… I don’t know if that says something about me or them?